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solitarydemise · 10 days

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Black Mary Jane's |P.t2

!EddieMunson x !FemReader

Summary:Eddie unintentionally breaks your heart because of your friends' insistence.Even though he loves you,he will be punished for pretending otherwise.

Warnings:Jealousy,kissing,making out(It's not 1986). I never liked cheerleaders my entire school life and I really can't like Chrissy. I'm sorry, I can't make her a good character in any of my fics.

Part 1 is here!

𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐

You hadn't talked to Eddie for days after your last argument. Weeks,and almost 1 month. You were really heartbroken and exhausted,you didn't talk to your friends and immediately went home after classes. What Eddie said was confusing you, no matter how much you loved Eddie you didn't trust him and all this time he just only broked your heart. You desperately wanted to kiss him, but at the same time the possibility that he might cheat on you was too high for you. Eddie was the sweetest boy you've ever met,but you had been friends for years and you had witnessed his relationships with many people. He wasn't loverboy, he wasn't going to be for you from now on either. Isn't it?Loving someone was a big thing for you, you couldn't trust anyone because you learned that from the people around you. Even the best person you knew could turn into a stranger, you didn't have the courage to lean on anyone. You couldn't trust Eddie, maybe you were still fooling yourself. You missed Eddie being a total clown to you,telling jokes and flirting with you sometimes. You missed all of these,but every time you missed him,you remembered how upset Eddie made you. You were in a terrible dilemma. He was in front of you everywhere, in the hallway, in the classroom, in the cafeteria and you made eye contact with him everytime. Whenever you had hope to Eddie,he'd start talking to Chrissy again. Going back to her like he hadn't told you how beautiful you were the night before. You were the girl Eddie always flirted with and gave hope to,but at the same time you were just his "friend" if asked. Another Monday, while you were lingering in front of your school locker,Nancy smiled at you "Hey." you looked at her "Hey" Your voice wasn't even coming out at all. Nancy played with her bracelet "You look beautiful today" you smiled softly "I didn't even do my makeup" she giggled "This is why you look beautiful". She was definitely going to ask something "Are tou coming to the concert this weekend?" You looked at her "What concert?" You definitely knew what concert it was but you didn't say anything. It was the Corroded Coffin concert. Eddie's been waiting for this for a long time. He cared very much about the group and kept saying that one day the whole world would hear about them. But they hadn't even been able to perform in town yet. So it was time,Corroded Coffin on the stage. You knew they were performing at a local bar, but you weren't sure if you wanted to go. If Eddie and you hadnt argument about a shitty thing, you'd definitely be the first person there. But you didn't want to be there. "Do you think I'm needed? I'm sure Chrissy will be there." Nancy rolled her eyes. 'Stop it, are you still on that?' you didn't answer and tried to stay calm. You were sensitive about Eddie and your friends would keep saying that it was unnecessary because you were worrying about it and you would only get angrier. This is why you didn't talk with them like you did to Eddie.

You were still heartbroken about this and it wasn't going to get better unless you talked to Eddie, so you refused to talk about it with your friends.When you entered French class, you sat in your usual seat and Eddie, a few rows in front of you, turned around and looked at you. You looked at him for a few seconds and turned back to your book. Chrissy and her friends were looking at you and laughing among themselves as usual. Ugh, you hated them. You never buy their girls girl lie.Because you knew very well how rude they actually were. Maybe Eddie had an influence on this, no matter what, you didn't like them or the others. When the teacher started the lesson, you opened your notebook and took out your homework. Eddie didn't do his homework as always, he usually always copied your homework.Your French homework was to prepare a topic and make a presentation about it in French. You chose Mötley Crue, one of your favorite bands. In the middle of the presentation, the things Chrissy said to her friends and her annoying giggles were starting to annoy you. You were like a bomb ready to explode for 1 month and you couldn't stand it anymore. "Do you even know a single fucking thing about them?". Everyone, including Chrissy, suddenly fell silent. Since she didn't answer you, you continued, "Then why are you still talking?" teacher looked at you "That's enough,sit back down" You rolled your eyes and walked back to your place without even protesting. Chrissy knew well that Eddie and you weren't talking. Of course she would talk about this as leverage. You were trying hard not to attack her. "You're barking at everyone like a spoiled puppy," Chrissy stopped playing with her ponytail and looked at you "Excuse me?". You looked at her "Like everytime you start talking,I think to myself 'Who the fuck does this girl think she is?'" you laughed "You are so fucking boring". Teacher yelled "Get out of my class!" You were expelled from class too many times in 1 month. You were more angry and aggressive than ever. You stood up without a care and mumbled as you grabbed your bag, "Whatever." You looked at Eddie as walked out of the classroom, seeing Eddie's grin.Dickhead. He must have liked it when two girls were fighting over him. Chrissy's facial expression was enough for you. Only the men who fucked her were telling lies to her, and in this way she was trying to keep her self-confidence high. You destroyed it with a few words. You continued walking down the hall and realized you couldn't handle the next classes so you decided to go home.

The next day,while you were in the cafeteria by yourself. Nancy hurriedly came to you "Did you argued with Nancy?!" You frowned "Calm down,you're acting like I killed her" Robin laughed and took one of the grapes from the plate, "I wish." You looked at Nancy "She was being a complete idiot as always, I couldn't take it anymore". Nancy took a deep breath and said, "It's not about that girl, you're getting too much detention. You can get suspended." You shrugged, “Whatever.” Nancy rolled her eyes. “You keep saying that. Look, I know you don't want to talk about this, but this is Eddie.” she laughed and looked at you “Our Eddie,the town freak. Maybe you're overestimating him.” You looked at Nancy and put down the fork in your hand. "Actually, everyone was underestimating himr,but I don't think highly of her. At least not anymore." Nancy looked at you quickly, "Great, that's what I'm talking about. Don't you think you should get yourself back together bit?" You looked at Nancy and grabbed your tray, "I'll get it together if you guys stop being annoying." You paused and turned your gaze to Robin "Who said I was arguing with Chrissy?". When the answer was 'Eddie' you wanted to ask more about him. What was he talking about you? Did he even care about what happened between of two of you?. You cleared your throat with the things that came to your mind and turned to the girls, "See you on Saturday, maybe." When you walked away Robin and Nancy were looking at each other with a sly smile "Should we tell Eddie?" Robin paused "Should we?"

They didn't tell Eddie. Until Saturday,Nancy and Robin always asked you the same question, you never gave them a definitive answer. Because you were still stuck between going and not going. Would Chrissy be there too? Maybe Eddie wouldn't even care about you. You were thinking about these things even while applying your lipstick in front of the mirror. You continued to think about these things until you got to the concert line. You could come back home at any time. When Nancy saw you she quickly hugged you "You're here!". you smiled and hugged Nancy. Robin looked around and eyed Nancy and herself. "Don't you think we're a little too colorful for here?" You giggled and adjusted the collar of Robin's jacket, "A little bit." Robin looked at you and raised her eyebrows, "You look way too hot." Nancy smiled and looked at Robin "Because there are people she needs to make jealous." You frowned "No!". They both looked at you with the same expression and you cleared your throat "Well,okay maybe but shut up". It was about twenty minutes until the door opened and you were too excited. Even though it wasn't hot, you were sweating in your leather jacket. You were stressed out. It wasn't a very big venue, would he see you from the crowd? Fuck, you were thinking so much. You were engrossed in conversation with your friends and didn't even notice that the line was slowly moving forward. Gareth was tuning his guitar when you walked in. The stage was slightly higher than the ground. They were doing soundcheck. All you can think about was Eddie.Gareth smiled slightly when he saw you and you smiled back. You were so nervous. But why?Soon enough, when Eddie came on stage you quickly turned your gaze towards him, you were standing a little further back in the crowd, you didn't want to be right in front of the stage. Eddie's excitement was evident in his eyes, or maybe you were the only one who could read it.When the song started, Eddie fixed his guitar strap and glanced around,that was the moment he saw you.You had a stern expression on your face, but deep down the sight of you making eye contact was burning your heart. Eddie smiled slightly and lowered his head. It looked like he wanted to hide his shy smile. They had a forty-minute stage time, during which time you never took your eyes off Eddie. He also looked at you often and continued to sing and play his guitar while looking into your eyes. His bangs sticking to his forehead because he was sweating, his arms veined from playing the guitar, his facial expressions were making your heart beat faster. They were reminding you one by one how much you loved him. You smiled as everyone cheered them on with applause and you did the same with the crowd. You were proud of him,the image in front of him was part of his dreams and it was your greatest duty to support him. Eddie leaned into the microphone and brushed his bangs away from his forehead “Thank you Hawkins,I appreciate it.” "Corroded fuckinf Coffin!" a boy yelled as he can and Eddie laughed,he pointed at him "Hell yeah" Eddie pressed the guitar pedal and held the microphone. "Before we end the night,I one more song for you." He looked at you when he said "You", you couldn't be wrong. Eddie and the other band members whispered among themselves and started playing again. It had a slower guitar riff than other songs. You couldn't stop looking at Eddie as he sang the song. His facial expressions made you fall in love with him again and again. He was puckering his eyebrows and closing his eyes, his forehead was sweating and he was licking his lips. "Soft lips are open,knuckles are pale" he looked at you again "Feels like you're dying,you're dying" You felt like you were out of breath. It felt like the entire crowd had disappeared around you. "You!" he closed his eyes "Your sex is on fire"

When the song ended your legs were shaking, Eddie and the other band members were saying goodbye to the audience. You didn't even hear what they even said. They were going backstage, you tried to find your friends in the crowd. But it definitely felt like your mind wasn't working,you felt drunk but you hadn't had a drop of alcohol. When someone put a hand on your shoulder, you looked back and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw Steve. You took his hand and walked out of the bar and it felt so much better to feel the oxygen more clearly. You looked at Steve "Where are the girls?". Steve shrugged "I don't know, they'll be back soon" Steve looked at you and frowned "Are you okay? Your face is pale". You nodded and fixed your hair "Yes, I'm fine" you exhaled deeply and smiled "It was very hot in there." A few minutes later,Robin and Nancy arrived. While the three of them were talking about something, your gaze was constantly wandering around, your eyes were searching for Eddie. Soon, as like your mind had been read, Eddie came up to you. While the others were showering him with praise, you just stared at Eddie, who occasionally glanced at you as if he was waiting for you to say something. "You guys were blast, it was brutal". Eddie smiled warmly and looked at you "Thank you, by the way uh…" he cleared his throat "I'm glad you came." You smiled and shook your head. Three of them were looking at two of you and there was an awkward silence. Eddie noticed this "I'm going backstage, I need to change. I'm fucking sweating" After Eddie went backstage,you continued chatting in front of the bar. A few minutes later when Gareth, Jeff and Doug came out, you looked around and looked at Nancy. "I'll be right back." You entered the venue again and tried to figure out where the backstage was. Finally figuring out where you were, you looked around and knocked on the door. "Come in" you heard Eddie's voice from inside. When you walked in you noticed that Eddie was missing his shirt. He smiled when he saw you, "Hey." You ran your gaze over Eddie's tattoos and looked back at him, "Hey." Eddie put on his T-shirt and fixed his messy hair. You tucked your hair behind your ear and cleared your throat. You looked like you were about to start a sentence, but you didn't even know what to say. You didn't even know why you were here,you were really good at making decisions without even thinking for a second. You wet your lips and looked at Eddie "I don't know why I came, I just wanted to see you" you smiled nervously. Eddie smiled, "It's good to see you, at least to see you smiling after so long." What Eddie said made you laugh and you put your hands in your leather jackets pockets. After a small laugh, you both fell silent again. Eddie said with a small smile on his face "I really miss you doll..." "Doll" it's been a long time since you heard that,he always called you with pet names "rabbit, baby-doll,princess, little monster" You missed them all so much that you smiled slightly and looked at Eddie "I miss you too Eds". Eddie was looking at you with sad eyes. You exhaled deeply, "Look, I didn't come here to talk about these things and get you down, I just wanted to s-" Eddie shook his head "No, you made this night better. It wouldn't have been a happy enough night if you hadn't come" You paused with what Eddie said and you sat the handrest of the leather couch "Nice to hear that" Eddie approached you and stood in front of you. You lifted your head slightly so you could see his face and looked at Eddie. "I'm sorry" he said. You remained silent for a few seconds, "It's okay." "No it's not". Eddie replied quickly and looked into your eyes "Never was." he swallowed "I never planned that one day I might lose you,and I acted like a kid" You looked at Eddie and spoke in a low voice "You didn't lose me, Eddie."

Eddie looked at you and put his hand on your cheek "This month has been so rough for me,all this time the fear of opening up to you cost me this" he laughed slightly as he was angry at himself "I should've told you what you meant to me,'cause now I pay the price,I broke your heart. This is my biggest regret." Eddie's words brought tears to your eyes. You tilted your head slightly, not wanting him to see you like this again. Eddie put his hand on your chin and made you look at him "I love you." the things Eddie said made you smile even though you had tears in your eyes. You sniffled and placed your hand over Eddie's hand "I love you." Eddie seemed like he's been waiting for you to say that, and as soon as you finished your sentence, he pressed his lips to yours. You quickly placed your hands on Eddie's cheeks and kissed him back. You had been waiting for this moment for so long that you felt such hunger for it. Eddie moved his hands to your waist and held you tightly as he continued to kiss you. After a few seconds, when you broke apart to take a breath,you looked at each other and started kissing again without waiting. Eddie's hands roamed your body,your fingers tangled in his curls. When Eddie's hands went to your skirt,somebody knocked the door "Eddie they're waiting for you" Gareth said from behind the door. "Piss off!" Eddie said angrily because of the moment was interrupted. You giggled and placed a small kiss on Eddie's nose "I'll wait for you outside." Eddie quickly grabbed you from your waist. “No, please.” He looked at you with his puppy eyes and you giggled "We can't stay here forever" you stood up and headed towards the door, Eddie pulled you towards him and pressed you to himself "But we can stay few munites" he started kissing you again. You could feel his hardness. You giggled andgave Eddie a long kiss on the lips, "Calm down, rock star." Eddie laughed at what you said and looked at you with a smile on his face as you walked out of the room. He took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror, unable to stop the grin on his face. He had your lip marks on all over his face, burgundy lipstick gave you both away. Eddie didn't care about that. After you fixed your hair and clothes,you go back to your friends and Nancy immediately bombarded you with questions. You looked at her and frowned, "I was in the bathroom calm down a bit." Nancy frowned at your attitude and finally decided to mind her own business. A few minutes later, Eddie came back to with a grin that never left his face and all four of you were looking at him in surprise. There were still lipstick stains on his face. Nancy slowly turned to you and raised her eyebrows. "You were in the bathroom,weren't you?" you pressed your lips together and exhaled deeply "I'm not going to give you a definitive answer " "She was not" Eddie spoke confidently and you looked at Eddie as Steve laughed "Shut up"

𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐

People I think will like it, I hope you don't mind!!<3

Tag list: @ali-r3n @marshmallowgem @rcailleachcola @seatnights @melodymunson @rainylana @eddievanhammettmunson @mdurdenpitt @mmunsonsthings @crazyapplesgirl1q @psychotickoda

#eddie munson #joseph quinn #stranger things #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson x reader #stranger things fic #eddiemunsonx #eddiemunson #eddie munson x female reader #80s #rockstar eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson headcanons #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x reader smut #eddie munson x you

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ohtobeleah · 8 months

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Lessons in Love & War // Bradley Bradshaw

-> A Terms of Endearment Blurb

Summary: On one of your first shifts back at work after the events of ToE. Odette is plagued with an illness that sends her to the emergency room with a very panicked Bradley Bradshaw.

Warnings: Fever. appendicitis. Relationship miscommunication, misguided anger. Bradley Bradshaw x F!reader. Jake Seresin x F!platonic!reader.

Word Count: 3.8k

Author Note: Day Eighteen of Whumptober. Prompt I chose: Fever/Separated from loved ones. Thank you to @ailesswhumptober for the prompt list.

Whumptober Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Those were your days off. Tuesday and Thursday were the days that you bravely stepped outside your little bubble of peace and went back to work doing what you loved. No one in their right mind was about to stop you either, you could handle two full days at a time. Two days in one week was enough for you right now. Mav was in full support of you and Rooster sharing your full time hours. He went in to bat for you whenever the topic was brought up to the higher ups. He was your unofficial proxy.

“Oh hi there Dotty girl.” You weren’t ready to send your little girl back to daycare yet either. So Odette spent her days with her favourite person besides you, her Tooster, on Tuesdays and Thursdays. “What's got you all sad?”

Bradley had been doing some work on his lap–he was reading up on the signs, symptoms and possible characteristics of depression. You were just a little off at the moment, with good reason. You'd been through so much–more than anyone ever deserved to be put through.

“My tummy huwts Tooster–” Odette mumbled through tired eyes as she padded into the dinning room with her blanky, sucking her thumb. She had been feeling under the weather for a few days now, since Monday–It was now Thursday and she hadn’t started to get better in the slightest bit.

“Oh sweet girl, come here.” Bradley cooed as he reached out for the little girl who had stolen his heart, he scooped her up under her armpits and sat her on his lap. The first thing Bradley noticed was the heat Odette had to her. “Holy crap, you're burning up baby girl.” He frowned as he placed the back of his hand to her forehead. “You've got a bit of a fever there.” It was worrying, especially since Odette had already had some children Tylenol not long before you left for work. How long had she had a fever for?

“My tummy huwts–” She nearly sobbed as her little head lulled to the side, she placed her cheek against Rooter's chest to listen to his heartbeat. The kiss he planted on the top of her head as he rocked his knees back and forth to soothe your daughter told Odette that she was safe, that her Tooster would make her feel better. “Tooster–”

“I know baby, I know.” But the fact of the matter was Bradley didn't know. Sure he’d lay his life down on the line for Odette, but he really had no idea how to act when she was sick. It broke his heart to see the usually so energetic and full of life extension of you so down in the dumps and sick as a dog. She hadnt been her usual self for a few days and it was unnerving to say the very least. He did his best however, to keep a confident front up that he had this covered while you were gone.

Bradley Bradshaw was confident and wise enough to take care of a sick three year old. How serious could a flu be? Or a tummy bug as you were pretty sure it was.

“How about I make you some soup and we watch cartoons and hang out on the lounge for the rest of the day?” All Odette did in response was nod very tiredly. She hadn’t been sleeping through the night and the little sleep she was getting, was in between you and Rooster, where she felt safest and where you felt like she belonged right now.

Odette didnt eat her soup, Bradley had tried to get her to have a few spoonfuls of the pureed pumpkin and sweet potato soup he’d heated over the stove but it was to no avail. Your little girl was not having a bar of it before the tears started.

“Oh sweetheart, don't cry.” Bradley cooed as Odette snuggled as close as she could into her Tooster.

“My Tummy huwts Tooster make it stowp.” Dot mumbled into Rooster's shirt, clinging to him for dear life as she climbed his torso and laid herself flat as she could on him. All Bradley did was try his best to soothe the clearly uncomfortable three year old he’d been left in charge of today.

“How about we get you some more medicine to make you feel a little better?” It was the only thing he could really think of in the moment, Dot hadn’t been well sure, but this was a whole new level of unwell. “We’ll get a washcloth for your forehead too baby, that might help.” Bradley was starting to realise that he may or may not have been in over his head with this. He hadn’t gone through this before, he hadn’t ever had to worry so deeply about a child not being well before. He wanted so desperately to take Odette's pain away. He wanted so desperately to make her feel all better like you somehow always managed too. But this seemed more serious than just a cold or flu or random stomach ache.

And when little three year old Odette Dolan (Bradshaw) started to scream, cry and throw up in the bath Bradley tried to run for her to help her feel better, he didn't know what to do. He knew it wasn't just her being scared of the bath, because she’d been really good in it as of late. The past few weeks she’d gone without a fuss so long as Tooster and you were in it with her. But right now, as Bradley rubbed small circles into her little back and watched as she dry heaved into the bow he held under her chin, he knew he had to take her to people who could actually make her feel better.

“I think we need to take you to the hospital baby girl.” He sighed to himself, watching as her tears streamed down her puffy face. She hadnt eaten all day, hadnt cried this hard ever. She was in pain–Bradley could clearly see that. “Let's get you dressed and I'm gonna take you alright, see some doctors so that they can help.” Before Bradley could think about helping Odette out of the bath, she slumped into his hold, completely exhausted from crying and trying to throw up. Her fever had yet to break and she was burning up. “Okay, Okay–” That's when the panic really set in. “We’re going right now baby I've got you.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

“You know I’d ask what exactly it is that you’re doing—“ Jake made sure to make himself known as he entered your hanger. “But I’ve come to learn overtime that that question doesn’t always have such a good answer.” He didn’t want to scare you, he knew that coming back to work was what you needed in order to move on, get back into a normal routine and make an effort to keep yourself from completely falling apart. The day had almost passed you by and you’d only caught yourself thinking about Jaidyn Dolan like….seven hundred times.

“I tried to call Roo at lunch to see how things are going at home but he hasn’t returned my call.” You replied while you sat at your workshop desk, working on a part Jake couldn’t quite pick. “Tell me everything’s fine, that we’re okay?” He knew what you meant, you didn’t need to elaborate or explain yourself. Jake knew, hell he knew because that very morning he’d woken Amilia up with his horrendous screams. He’d called out for Bob in the void of darkness.

“Dots sick isn’t she?” Jake sighed as he stood behind you, watching carefully as you worked. He didn’t want to point out that you were tapping your leg up and down like a mad woman or mention that you were tensing your shoulders, so instead he bent over to kiss the top of your head and kept his hands firmly on your shoulders. “They’re fine Fe—if anything Bradshaws probably just spending his day off sleeping and watching Repunzel for the thirteenth time.” You couldn’t help but to smile at the thought. “Trust me, they’re good, we’re good, everyone’s good and accounted for.”

“Thanks—“ It was like Jake had talked you down from some metaphorical ledge that you’d been standing on, ready to jump. Only you had been contemplating leaving work early to race home and make sure two of the most important people in your life are safe. “You’re right, he’s probably just sleeping with Dotty.”

“I can almost guarantee it.” Jake replied. “Besides, you’re off soon enough, no need to stress when everything’s okay Fe.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

Everything was not okay. Bradley Bradshaw had never been more freaked out in his entire life. He hated seeing Odette this way, so sick and visibly in pain. This had to be more than just a stomach ache, her fever hadn’t broken in hours, she wasn't keeping food or fluids down and she could barely keep her little head upright as he carried her into the emergency room of the Miramar Base Hospital.

“Sir–?” The triage nurse was immediately on her feet when she saw Rooster through the little window. “Bring her right in.” Bradley did exactly that, he took the little girl who was burning up in his arms right into the triage room so that Odette could be assessed. “Who do we have here?” The nurse asked softly as she set up her station.

“This is Odette, Uh–Dot, she prefers Dot.” Bradley cooed as he sat down on the empty chair with Odette still clinging to him. “She my daughter, well, kinda, I’m her mothers partner and I’m one of her medical proxies and emergency contacts.” Bradley felt like all eyes were on him as he explained his relationship to Odette. He wasn't her dad but he was the closest thing she had. “She's been sick for a few days, but today her fevers just skyrocketed and she's not keeping anything down.”

“Is she throwing up?” The nurse asked as she placed little Odette's arm in a blood pressure monitor. “Any diarrhoea?”

“She's been throwing up, but I haven't noticed any diarrhoea–”

“And you said she's had a fever for a while?”

“Yeah and today her stomachs been hurting pretty badly too.” The nurse could see the worry in Bradley Bradshaw's eyes. She knew enough in those few moments to know that he cared enough about this tiny human to bring her in for treatment.

“Dot honey?” The nurse cooed as she looked at Odette and placed a tiny admission wristband on her wrist. “Can you point to what side your tummy’s been hurting on?” Odette, albeit slowly, pointed to her right side, just above her pelvis. The nurse sitting across from her immediately typed something onto the report she was writing up and turned back to face Bradley. “Okay Mr. Bradshaw, you can take Dot through to fast track, I'll have her admitted for an ultrasound but if I had to take a good guess here I'd say your little girl's appendix is acting up.”

“That means surgery?” Bradley held the little girl who was everything to him a little tighter. The nurse nodded in confirmation.

“You did the right thing bringing her in, we just need you to fill out these consent forms and we’ll take care of her.” The triage nurse could see on Odette file that Bradley was indeed an authorised person to give medical consent on Odette's behalf if you weren't able to. “But yes, she’ll need surgery if it is in fact her appendix, we don't want it to burst and by the looks of things if she's been sick for a few days it could very well be about to.”

“Okay–” Bradley pressed his lips together in a fine line, he felt sick to his stomach, his little girl was in so much pain. “Okay, uh–let's go Dotty, I've got you baby.” But in all the fuss and worry and focus he’d forgotten one very vital thing. He’d forgotten to message you about what was going on, all his focus had been on Dot that he forgot to message you. Her Mother.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

You hadn’t heard from Bradley all day. Usually he’d send you little updates, let you know when Odette had gone for a nap, if she’d eaten, if she was at daycare when he picked her up and dropped her off. But today he’d been radio silent since around ten this morning.

“Roo honey?” You were already on edge with the radio silence, but when you pulled into the driveway to see Bradley’s Bronco wasn’t there your heart immediately sunk into your stomach. “I'm home, you here?” Nothing. There was nothing but a still silence that flooded your home as you went in search for the man who had helped you out yourself back together again.

“Rooster?” You nearly sobbed out as you walked down the hallway to the bathroom, at the sight of water in the tub you immediately broke out into a heartbroken cry. No. No, not your baby, not your little girl. “Bradley!!?” It felt like you were right there, watching your ex try to drown you baby girl in the bath when your phone rang.

It was like the ringtone snapped you back into reality and all of a sudden the scene playing out before you was gone. It was just you again, staring at yourself in the mirror across the bathroom. When you looked down at your phone to see that it was just Jake and not Bradley, you cried a little harder and answered.

“Told you everything would be o—hey woah? What’s the matter Fe why are you crying?” Jake had just picked Amilia up from Paybacks play to drive her to work when your sobbed rang through the truck. “Y/n?”

“Roosters not here and I can’t find Dot.” Was all you had to say before Jake was pulling over on the side of the road before swinging around. Amilia slammed against the doorframe of the passenger’s side as he did so.

“Righto, ease up turbo.” She hissed as a frown overtook her face. “And you have the nerve to call me a maniac on the road.”

“Talk to me when you know your left and rights Oz.” Jake chuckled knowing that Amilia from time to time still had to really think about what side of the road to drive on. “Fe, try to breathe alright, I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for why they aren’t home.”

“He hasn’t been answering his phone all day Jake! He doesn’t do that!” You sobbed painfully as you slid down the wall of your hallway to hug your knees to your chest. “He doesn’t—he doesn’t do that, he doesn’t—“ Jake knew you were having a full on panic attack, he knew because he got them too. Amilia heard it in your voice, the way you tried to breathe through your words. “He left—he took her, I can’t breathe—“

“I’ll call Rooster.” Amilia quickly pulled her phone out to call Bradley, his name in her phone was the Chicken Man. “There’s gotta be a good reason he’d just vanish with Dot right?”

“She’s sick.” Jake mumbled just loud enough for Amilia to hear. “Something could have happened but until we get ahold of him I don’t know what to do.”

“Voicemail—“ Amilia didn’t wait for Jake to tell her to try again, she was on it before he even had a chance to blink. “Fucking dammit Bradshaw.”

“We’re around the corner Fe, we’re on our way, just stay on the phone with me yeah?” Jake cooed as tears welled in his eyes, he hated this, hated hearing you so panicked.

“Fuck! Voicemail again.” Amilia groaned as she tried for a third time to get ahold of the missing lieutenant. “Surely he’s not intentionally ignoring us right?”

“No—“ Jake sighed frustratedly as he ran a hand across his face. “No somethings wrong, he’s distracted by something, he wouldn’t just go radio silent, not on Fe, me maybe, but not Fe.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Tooster.” She looked so tiny in the middle of the gurney. “My tummy huwts.” But Bradley knew as he walked with the surgical tray who was about to take your little girl in for emergent surgery that she was going to feel a hell of a lot better after.

“I know baby I know.” Rooster cooed as leaned over to press a gentle kiss to your daughter's forehead. “But the doctors here are gonna make you feel all better.” When Odette spoke soon after, Bradley’s heart sunk into his arse.

“I want mamma—“ Holy shit, he’d been so caught up making sure Odette got the care and help she needed, that he hadn’t even checked in with you.

“Mammas gonna be here when you come out of surgery baby, I promise.” Bradley could feel the colour draining from his face as he watched your little girl nod. “And so is uncle Jake—“ Bradley knew he was about to be in the dog house. He should have rung. He should have kept you in the loop. He couldn’t imagine what was going through your mind right about now.

As soon as the double doors closed, Bradley immediately pulled his phone out of his back pocket and couldn’t believe what he saw. An unknown amount of missed calls and texts from one Amilia Fisher explaining in great detail the way she was going to skin him alive for whatever it is that was keeping him from getting back to her.

There were a handful of missed calls and text from you throughout the day, just checking in to see how Dot was going.

And then there was one very important text, a singular message from none other than Jake Seresin that scared the shit out of Bradley. The overall calmness of it all, the time he read it in, the lack of urgency made it all the more worrying—because when Jake got calm? Bradley knew he was about five seconds away from blowing up.

H_ngm_n: “You better have running shoes on man.”

“Fuck—“ Braldey pressed on Jake’s called ID to ring him as quick as he could. This wasn’t good, not at all. It only took three rings before Jake was answering. “I can explain!”

“Where are you?” Was all Jake asked, again as calm as ever.

“I’m at the hospital, Dots fever was skyrocketing so I brought her in, turns out she has appendicitis, she’s on her way into surgery.” It was the most rushed explanation Bradley could give as he ran his free hand through his hair and paced up and down the hall. “Is Y/n okay? Is she alright?”

“We’ll be there soon.” Was all Jake said before he hung up. Bradley felt like he couldn’t breathe, he knew he’d fucked up. He should have called you when he was heading over to the hospital and think back to it he knew he had left the bath water in the bath too.

He’d fucked up, and he knew that you’d be a wreck too.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

When you first saw Rooster sitting in the waiting room, your heart beat just a little faster. But although you loved him so deeply and so fiercely, his decision not to call you about what was going on had left you wondering if he understood just how important it was for you to know the whereabouts of your daughter right now.

“Where is she?” You asked sternly. “Where’s my daughter?” Bradley could tell by the look in your eyes that you were pissed, but the love you had for Odette took priority.

He sat in one of those plastic hospital waiting room chairs, dishevelled and worried that he’d crossed some invisible boundary. Bradley didn’t mean to keep you in the dark, it was never his intention. He was just so focused on Odette that he didn’t think of anything else.

“She’s in surgery, they said someone would come give us an update as soon as she’s out.” Bradley explained as he stood from the chair he sat in and reached out to draw you into him. But you shrugged him off. “Y/n—“

“How am I the last person to find out my daughter has appendicitis?” You asked through a hiss. “Tell me Rooster how do you forget to tell the mother of the child you rushed to the emergency room that hey—we’re going to the hospital don’t freak out?”

“I’m so unbelievably sorry.” Jake could tell that Bradley was sincere. “I was just so focused on Dot I didn’t stop to think, she was so upset, I just wanted her to be okay.”

“Well she’s not alright is she!�� It was just the fear talking, the fear taking over your critical thinking capabilities. “She’s in surgery getting her appendix removed and her mother wasn’t by her side to tell her everything would be alright because you—“ You shoved at Roosters chest, he didn’t budge. “Didn’t tell me what the hell was going on.”

“Y/n, listen to me for a second alright sweetheart?” It was killing him, the idea that you were mad at him for doing whatever he could for Odette.

“No—no don’t you dare sweetheart me right now Bradley, how could you not remember to ring me? Send me a fucking text?”

“Because I was looking after her! The little girl you left me to take care of! Her fever was getting out of control Fe!” It was one of the first fights the two of you had ever had.

“She’s not your damn daughter Bradley!” You didn’t mean it, hell the words you spoke even shocked you and you could immediately tell that what you had said cut Bradley deep as his features softened In disappointment and frustration. “I’m her mother, and you should have called me when she was getting worse.”

“Yeah—“ Bradley stiffened up as he looked over at Jake, he knew just how hurt you were by this mess but he never thought you’d throw Bradley’s ability to care for your little girl back in his face. “No yeah you’re totally right, I’m just gonna go, I’ll uh—I’ll just go back to my house and clean up the mess your daughter fucking makes all day because you’re too scared to send her back to daycare then.”

It was your turn to be stunned.

“Call me when she’s out, or don’t, I don’t care.” Bradley hissed as he walked past where you stood with his hands in his pockets and his tail between his legs.

“I won’t!” You called back as you watched Bradley walk out of the front doors of the Miramar Base Hospital, wondering how the hell he was going to fix this god awful mess.

***~***~***~***~***~***~****~

Whumptober Tags 🏷️ @xoxabs88xox @oldermenaremyreligion @slut-f0r-u @emma-is-cool @armydrcamers @topguncortez @topgun-imagines @kmc1989 @els-marvelvsp @blindedbythelightt

#ailesswhumptober2023 #leahs whumptober masterlist #terms of endearment// bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #Bradley Bradley angst #topgun fanfic #top gun fan fiction #top gun fanfic

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thegreatcaptainusopp · 3 months

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Do you ever think about water 7 and remember how many fans (way too many fans...) completely misunderstand Usopp's character and feelings towards Merry and reduce it to "he was only attached because Kaya gave them the ship" and forget that we are explicitly told that he sees himself in Merry and also later on we found out he heard Merry say she wanted to take them further, so we KNOW just how much Usopp saw her as another nakama (I know they all did, but he SAW and heard her first) and no wonder he didnt want to just get rid of her, do you ever remember that and want to cry?

Also I get that Usopp said hurtful things, and went against the captain, but if he hadnt Merry wouldnt have been able to save them... I always feel like Zoro was too rough on Usopp but I don't know, maybe I'm misremebering because Usopp haters always use Zoro's speech to say that Usopp was in the wrong or whatever (and it drives me INSANE ooh 😤 makes my blood boil)

I should rewatch Water 7...

Also unrelated but what are Merry's official pronouns?

Oh boy do I ever think about Water 7. I’ve posted about this before but Usopp’s reasons are numerous and just build on top of each other. Not only is it because of Kaya and seeing the Merry as a crew member and seeing himself in the Merry but it also is because of his own trauma and insecurities and abandonment issues. There’s a lot there and it all exploded out in a messy argument and is just…so sad and emotional and I don’t think anyone in universe (including Usopp himself) have still even know parsed out all of that complexity yet.

I think a lot of fan reaction here is victim to the point of view of the narrative. Luffy is our protagonist and the rest of the main characters are his crew, and that means certain expectations of loyalty. He’s the boss, which means they have to follow his rules. Which, you know, is fair enough: if you want to stay, you follow the rules that the boss sets. However, I think a lot of what actually goes on here is accepted at face value and not considered further critically. While Usopp’s actions here were wrong from the perspective of the hierarchy established on the crew, as well as from a personal standpoint because of some of the things that were said, they were also right from another point of view. Usopp’s argument here was that the Merry was a crew member, as alive as any of the rest of them. And, canonically, he’s fully correct. Luffy’s argument is that the Merry can’t take them further, which is also correct. They were both right, but the communication breakdown also means they were both wrong. And Usopp got most of the blowback because of narrative perspective, and because of the fact that he is not the captain and therefore is not going to receive the same loyalty in decisions that Luffy does.

Zoro is a character that is very much a vehicle for this narrative perspective: he is a strong believer in the ship hierarchy and believes that following it to the letter is not only the morally right thing to do, but also is the only way they will survive the journey to come. Is he right? The narrative certainly seems to direct us to that. But at the end of the day it’s just a certain perspective on how things work. Usopp here went against the loyalty that Zoro holds so dearly (and to Luffy in particular) and therefore Zoro felt it was his duty to set them (and him especially) straight. But again, this is very much from the perspective I mentioned above.

I think examining it further, like I said, shows that both Usopp and Luffy were right, but went wrong in how they communicated how each felt. Luffy may be the boss, and his word may be law in the ship, but I think as the boss he has the added responsibility to deescalate and manage his crew, and communicate to them his expectations clearly. Usopp failed here to control his insecurities and succumbed to them. Luffy here failed in his capacity as a leader in communication and deescalation, especially since he most certainly does not want to be an iron fist type leader. However, I don’t think that element of Luffy’s failure is discussed enough in and out of universe, which is also why I always say that I wish the crew challenged him and his decisions more.

With regards to Merry’s pronouns, I think she/her? I’m unsure though, if anyone can confirm that.

#that all goes to the way loyalty is portrayed in one piece #but that’s a whole other conversation #one piece #op #usopp #speaks #asks #water 7 #monkey d luffy #roronoa zoro

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stevie-petey · 4 months

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soooo <3 its only fair we see steve’s pov of saving bug during the demogorgon fight ,, right? :) xoxo

siiiigh i guess (because i love u n him). in this blurb we answer: why DID steve come back after nancy kicked him out ??

enjoy <3

"steve, you need to leave. right now." nancy has never looked at steve like this before, with such annoyance and anger. he doesnt know what the fuck is happening but he had just saved your life.

he, steve harrington, just bridal carried y/n henderson to safety after a skinned skeleton looking piece of shit almost killed you.

now nancy is yelling at him again.

and all steve can do is look towards you for help. you have to say something, explain what any of this even means. steve is surrounded by nancy and jonathan, two people who have hurt him so deeply, and yet youre standing right in front of him and not saying a single thing.

you, the only person who hasnt hurt steve, who seems to understand him and expect so much more from him than anyone ever has in his life.

if you told steve to stay, he would.

at least then he'd have a sense of belonging. if you told steve everything will be okay, he'd have no reason not to believe you. he knows you; youd stay behind and fight and defend those you love and steve feels like a fucking coward as his hands shake while nancy berates him.

"y/n, please..." steve just needs one glance from you, a nod, anything.

but you dont say a thing.

steve groans. "fuck it!"

he runs out the door.

he thinks maybe if he drives fast enough, he can go to the police and bring them back here to jonathans. he cant just leave you behind, steve knows this, but what else is he supposed to do? you hadnt wanted him there, neither had nancy, and jonathan hates him.

hes not needed here. hes never been a fighter, anyways.

right as steve has unlocked his car door, the lights inside jonathans house start flickering again. the hair on his arms stand up. he knows. its back again.

and youre stuck in there with it.

three things cross through steves mind at once.

one, youre in danger.

two, you told steve he wasnt a bad person.

and three, hes so fucking tired of running.

so he does what any sane sixteen year old boy would do.

steve runs back inside to save you.

he told you earlier. he just wants to help. thats all hes ever wanted to do, and fuck. if he doesnt help you now, save you when you really need him, then steve is the coward his father has always told him he was.

jonathans bat is scattered across the floor when steve runs back inside. he grabs it as he assesses the situation. he cant believe hes doing this.

youre on the ground and steves heart stops for a moment, but when he sees you shaking jonathans shoulders, who is also sprawled on the ground, he calms down.

then he hears the gunshots and finally notices that nancy is frantically shooting at the monster and the bullets are doing absolutely nothing. she needs help, but you and jonathan are too far away.

steve stumbles a bit. for a second, he doesnt know who to run to. theres blood on your forehead and your ankle is bent at an angle that makes steve feel nauseous to look at, but jonathan has a hand wrapped around your waist while nancy is defenseless against the monster.

flicking the bat around his wrist, steve knows what he has to do.

he swings, distracting the monster long enough to spare nancy some time.

and you watch.

#southelroy #ask #come home blurb #m speaks #m's writing #set in season 1 #does this make any sense #like i KNOW why steve came back #but like #my brain cant articulate it well

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oh-for-fic-sake-library · 1 year

Text

A Choice

Masterlist

Summary: kylo struggled with his past, the lies, feelings and heavy burden of being his mothers son. But at the temple he'd found solace, not in the force or his teachings. But you, the young girl with her own struggle in the dark. He fell in love. Time passed, alliances change but his feelings did not. And now he has you captured, but not even he knows what he's going to do with the woman who makes his heart race.

Warnings : swearing, kissing, angst, fluff and general feels, softer kylo?

A/N: the promot for this is: kylo is a soft boi and no one can change my mind. I hope you enjoy my first kylo oneshot 😊🥰

Wordcount: very long, not sorry

Not beta'd

For the first time in a long time he was unsure, at a complete loss on what he should do. You looked back at him aprihensive, fearfull yet he could see the deeper concealed relief and dare he say joy?

Your eyes were wide and expressive, just as they had always been. Skin still glowing its beautiful deep bronze even in the harsh white light above. Your breathing was erratic, switching from shallow panicked breaths and low deep intakes that he knew were used to calm and center yourself.

His eyes roamed you, he felt himself flush slightly thankfully he had his mask still in place. You were no longer a small gangly pre teen but a woman. Supple curves had replaced the lithe muscle youd been youd been honing. Your hands though shackled showed no signs of calluses. And the dress you wore wasnt practical for hard labour, fleeing or fighting. It was clear the rumours were true, you hadn't stayed with skywalker to complete your training. And you certainly hadnt chose a life of a warrior.

Kylo sighed heavily, he didnt know how he felt about your fate. You'd come to train along side him, allbeit not by choice. But you'd still ended up by his side. You'd only really ended up there because you were a potential problem like him. Strong in the force, yet it was rooted in the dark side. The first time youd used the force properly you'd intentionally hurt your father. The fact it was to save your mother from being beaten to death was never acknowledged. As far as everyone was concerned you were a ticking time bomb they needed under control or eliminated.

He remebers you fondly, youd grown together becoming close despite skywalkers attempts to seperate you both. The first time he met you was the day you arrived, a small girl two years younger then him. He was nine when you were dropped off. You were scared and didnt understand why you were seperated from your parents. Skywalker didnt take time to explain things properly. Instead telling you that you were going to be trained and become a jedi. As if you should almost be excited, greatfull even.

Youd cried, pleading with wide tearful eyes to anyone who looked at you to take you home, that you had to go home and protect your mother, that your father was evil and will hurt her. No one paid anymind, thinking you were just a child making excuses to get your way. Untill kylo's own mother came to the school with the news, your father had succeeded. He had murderedyour mother, beating her to death with hks bare hands.

He remebers that day well, the way youd burst into a rage. Screaming at the top of your lungs you told them you were right and you knew he'd hurt her again. He remebers the conflict he felt. Youd been seperated from your mother for only six weeks? If that? That was all it took. Six weeks for your father to kill your mother, and kylo couldnt help but agree with you as you yelled at the two jedi. It was partly Luke and his mothers fault, they hadnt belived you when youd initially told them why youd attacked your father, nor had they bothered to try and investigate it.

Youd even tried to lunge at luke during your initial grief. Kylo had only just caught your tiny wrists tugging you back to himself, curling around you in a half hug, half wrestle. It was then youd broke down, falling to pieces on the spot bawling your eyes out. He'd felt it then the protec5ive rage twistingnin his guts as he tried reassuring you, why couldnt anyone see you were just a kid. A Terrified six year old now completely alone.

You almost looked the same now, scared lost and alone begging silently to just go home. When you were children he'd wanted to return you to your safe haven, even after the death of your mother he wanted to find somewhere you could go, somewhere safe away from the life of a jedi. It wasnt what you wanted, you just gave up after your mothers funera, seeing the coffin had given you a brutal awakening. You had no home to return to.

Yes, he'd wanted to ind somewhere for you to live peacfully away from it all. But now? The thought of releasing you alone into the galaxy left a bitter taste in his mouth. He had lost that benevolence and naive trust in the greater good. Only he could truly offer you safety.

"Sir? Is there a problem? Should we dispose of the rebel and intterogate the rest?;" the tropper began speaking, misunderstanding the supreme leader's stark silence. The unnamed male began making a move closer to you. But Kylo stopped him a single raised hand waving him off, ordering him to stand down.

"No. No i will deal with this myself. Leave us" his voice was low, calm and thoughtful. He couldnt tear his eyes from you, it was hard to belive you were here infront of him. Despite years of hardening himself to his own feelings everything he had thought and felt about you came rushing back. His stomach was twisting in anxious pulls, his heart desperately trying to beat out of his chest.

But you laid still, somehow managing not to fight your bonds that held you to the table. Instead of breaking down into a panic you were looking around the room. He could tell you were struggling to maintain calm as you saw the many tools scattered about the interrogation cell. But you were also counting, lips twitching ever so slightly. It was somthing he had taught you all those years ago, counting when panicked can help you focus. Can keep you alert and in the moment instead of crumbling.

"But sir;"

"Get. Out." with that the trooper left hastily, not wanting to push his superior any further.

When kylo was sure the hall was clear he moved stepping closer to you, hands rising to remove his mask. He paused, should he reveal himself? If he did what was he going to say? Would he be able to hold his nerve? He observed you for a long moment. How should he begin? He didnt want to interrogate you like the others, didnt want to frighten you away, he told himself it was because you could be a valuable asset. But he knew that was an excuse, he didnt want you to run from him, you were probably the only person who understood him.

They said you were an evil child too, muttered about how you were probably going to end up as a sith. That the rage had already settled into you, youd already given in it was just a matter of time. And to some extent they were right to be wary. You and him both sat up at night debating the truth in the force in hushed whispers. Wondering outloud if the dark side was truly dark, or if it was all just subjective. You both didnt see the separation between evil, and evil deeds commited for the light.

Kylo sighed heavily as he tried to weigh up what he should do for the best. He wasnt keen on the idea of interrogating you. But he didnt want to go easy on you and let you go so if you really were a rebel trying to clear your name in some desperate need for acceptance.

In truth he wanted to sooth you, to tell you everything was going to be okay and swear he'd look after you. But again, he was unsure where your loyalties lie at the moment. Afterall you were found with the rebels.

"I know who you are, they told me. Tried to use it to manipulate me" you broke the silence for him, soft spoken and quiet just as he remebered. He held his breath for a moment feeling a wieght lift from his shoulders. You knew. He quickly decided to trust your words. His hands moved slowly riseing to his mask before sliding it off tucking it in the crook of his arm.

"Its been a long time. Your prettier then i thought youd be, its actually really intimidating" You smiled up at him, and moved your trapped hand in a little wave making him scoff at your antics rolling his eyes. Prettier? Of course the first thing youd do it tease him. Stupid brat.

"You havent changed much, you still have no self preservation" he uttered leaning to the side and placing his mask down on one of the trolleys.

"Self preservation? Should i be frightened of you?" You uttered after swallowing dryly, he could see the tears welling in your eyes. Despite the tease you were scared. Scared of him, it made him look away for a second. Fuck. He had to get this over with.

"I dont know should you? Are you hiding something?" He pried sternly whilst bringing his attention back to you, his face set in stone. You frowned at him looking hurt, he just arched a brow still trying to decide if you were going to be a loose end or not. He really hoped not, but a rebel is a rebel and they must be snuffed out. No matter how painful it will be for him.

"No, but you wont belive me untill you look so go head, look. I have nothing to hide" you finally answered shaking your head with the inch of so of movement your bonds allowed you.

"I would rather you tell me yourself. I dont want to hurt you, i will actually help you if you need it. But i need you to tell me everything" he replied a little to quickly for it to be a trap. You frowned for a second, trying to find deceite in his words but there was none. He was being genuine, it made you relax a little drawing a huge comforting breath.

"Can you do that for me?" He coaxed inching closer lightly traceing the side of the examination table with the tips of his fingers. He seemed hesitant. As if he couldnt trust himself to touch you, but the temptation was there.

"Y-yeah, i dont know alot though but i'll tell the truth. I have nothing to hide, itd be useless anyway i know how skilled you are at reading people." You said with minimal shuddering breaths, trying to ease your panic induced shivers and anxiety fueled sobs. Kylos heart jerked painfully. You were terrified of him. But then again he couldnt fault you for that, he was the one whod killed your frineds, burned down the new temple and then fled to the darkside making a name for himself as a brutal warrior. He was now the ruler of a cut throat regime. The feared supreme leader of the first order well on his way to becoming Emperor. And you were at his mercy strapped to a table.

His stomach lurched. He didnt like it, you didnt belong here,not like this; tied down and scared. He hated it, the way you were so defenceless. It disturbed him seeing you in such a vulnerable position.

"How? How did you escape that night?" He hadnt intended for that to be his first question. But he had to know, he needed to know how youd made it out. He had mourned you, the guilt of killing you almost crushed him. He convinced himself you were away, created a delusion, a story in his head as to how you couldnt have possibly been in the temple. He had to tell himself you survived just to sleep at night. And then he heard a rumour, that the resistance knew of a survivor from skywalkers temple, that is was a girl. Your age. Your looks. It had been the first time he had felt true relief in a very long time.

"I was... I'd had another feeling. It was worse then any others, i knew it was bad; something terrible was going to happen and i got scared." You uttered recounting the night everything went to shit and you learned what true evil deeds were. Kylo inched closer, eyes trained on you hanging on everyword. He knew of your ability, empathic foresight, you didnt get visions in your sleep or hear distant whispers in meditation. You got feelings, gut feelings that made you experience emotional reactions of the furture. Youd feel greif before a death, pain before an injury. Fear before a fright. You'd only ever confided this in him scared of what skywalker might have said an done.

"I snuck out of my room to come and check on you, i dont know why but i just... i knew the feeling was about you. It hurt too much. Then i saw him, saw what he" you explained trailing off not needing to state the obvious. You both knew very well what Luke had done.

"After that i ran, i didnt? I wanted to help! To save you but i? How could i? Im sorry! Im so sorry i was so scared... everyone said that we are similar, so when i saw what he did i? I dont know something inside me just told me to run. So i did. I didnt want..I thought he'd done it, that he'd already? And then? I thought that he'd?" your explanation became a sob, fear and guilt pouring from you in harsh waves and half sentences. Kylo's hands clenched as your force came to life, you were almost reliving it. Terror. Confusion, hopelessness, shame he could feel it now as if he were there beside you.

"You thought you were next didnt you? That he was going to murder you after me." He uttered understanding instantly what youd belived. You were young on the cusp of adulthood but still a child, just like he was. And you were both scared, but you had the opportunity to run. He only had a few seconds to defend himself. Had he been quicker he'd have found you outside and would have taken you with him.

"I ran like a coward. I've never forgiven myself" you uttered quietly, your shame rising. Youd always felt as if youd let Ben down. Left him to die, that it was your fault. Tears finally began falling, youd struggled for so long with that. Your freind who youd loved so dearly died because you didnt have the guts to even call out and startle Luke. If youd made a noise, distracted him then maybe ben would have survived. The only thing you thank the resistance for was the fact theyd told you who kylo ren was. It absolved the guilt, freed you from that dark heavy shadow.

He finally rested a hand on you, the leather clad palm squeezing your bicep in a firm reassurance. It drew your attention to him. He held your gaze with a sincere look. Before speaking in a firm, yet calm tone of voice. Leaving no room for argument or doubt.

"No, you ran because you saw a so called jedi try to slaughter a boy in his sleep. You were a scared child who just wanted to survive. Theres no shame in that" his voice was firm. He needed you to understand that there was nothing to be ashamed of. You couldnt help your fear, or your reaction. It had taken him a long time to come to terms with his own fear. To accept it as natural, children are hard wired to run in the face of danger. Run, hide and survive.

"When i heard about what happened afterwards i... i was glad? Is that bad? I wasnt happy with the loss but i hoped it was you, hoped you were alive. But? I thought you were dead, how could you? It was luke skywalker, i didnt think you could survive. It crushed me, i was so happy the temple was gone but then guilty because i didnt stay. If id stayed, helped then maybe we could have survived together" you confessed to him slowly, still confused over your contradicting feelings. You constantly swung back and forth between being happy hearing whispers that ben had gotten out, yet angry that skywalker had pushed ben into the darkside out of fear.

Kylo nodded slowly, he too had wanted to look for you afterwards. At first he belived youd perished in the flames. But as time went on something told him you had escaped. He couldnt put his finger on it, he'd belived he had been going mad. Making pitiful hopless wishes and was trying to convince himself a miracle had happened, and youd escaped his rage.

"Im glad you didnt. Snoke was not tolerant. He'd have pitted us against one another. Years later I heard rumours youd got away, i wanted to find you, i really did. I felt...A responsibility? But in the end i decided against it... snoke would have killed one of us and made it a lesson" kylo barely contained a shudder. He couldnt imagine being put in that position. He didnt know what he would have done, having to choose between his own destiny and the only woman he'd ever considered spending the rest of his life with.

Back at the temple he'd spent many nights pondering the future he could have with you. As sexual maturity settled in he couldnt help feeling more certain in his selection, you were the dream girl, the powerful woman he could rely on. He watched you grow into your abilities and beauty. He wasnt stupid, he knew even though he was a jedi he was expected to continue his blood line so there would be atleast one powerful jedi to play hero and protector of the people for the next generation.

As he grew along side you his mind always invisioned you as that woman, his wife and mother of his child. He had dreams of a small dark haired, olive skinned little boy grinning up at him with your expressive eyes, hands reaching towards him as his own held up a smll toy only to have it force-pulled from his hand by the small boy. There was also a younger child toddling around in the hazy background of the scene. Somehow he just knew the younger cild held the same glowing caramel eyes you had. Sometimes he would hear your giggling from somewhere in the room, other times the scene was mute, not a sound he'd just watch and smile as the two children laughed happily with one another.

But each time he had these dreams a new warmth filled his chest, one not creted by rage and loathing but love. He knew without a doubt the children were his own. It was a dream that comforted him in many cold uncertain nights, it haunted him to this day.

But perhaps it wasnt a dream? Maybe it was a premonition. The force gifting him a vision of the children you would birth him. The family he will have one day. He allways thought it odd that in these dreams you and the chilren were in black robes, bright white surroundings that didnt resemble a house but a ship of somesort. So maybe they were visions of his own future, not just fantasies of a lonley teen with a crush.

This might be his chance to make the dream a reality. It was so close yet so far, the reconciliation he was almost ashamed to adimt he craved. Not that he ever told you that, he uttered nothing of the dreams. But skywalker knew, he was completely against it.

Once kylo left he couldnt help think luke had been against it out of fear, maybe by that point he'd already given up on him. Writing him off as sith already and wanted to avoid an even more powerful generation of dark force wielders. The two of you would have incredibly strong children with ridiculously high midichorian counts. It was possible luke feard the power such a union could unleash.

"I geuss things worked out in a wierd way.." you uttered after a few moments of silence, unaware of how kylo's mind had wandered into old thoughts. Old desires and hopes rearing their heads with vigor and his resolve began building. The excitment and need to keep you by his side growing with every moment he spent next to you.

"I am thankfull for things turning out this way. We are both alive" he spoke methodically, nothing giving away the temptation he felt, the dark tugging him towards you in a new seduction. It was like the force was toying with him, placing you before him once more, helpless and alone. Yet still the same young woman he knew. The funny diplomatic but anxious ridden girl he'd belived he'd lost for so long.

You smiled at his words, though automatic and almost thoughtless they sounded genuine. He sounded sincerely thankful for the both of you to be alive. Slowly you began truly relaxing into the bonds holding you. The more you spoke the more you recognised him. He was still ben, just more; dare you say honest? If that was the right word? Mybe not but you always knew he had this darkness, kylo had always been lurking , pacing back and forth behinde those hazel eyes. Ben had just masked it. Just how youd msked your own demons. You both hid parts of yourself whilst with skywalker. Kylo was the animal inside, raw unbridled power who embraced the force in aggression and victory.

"Why are you with the rebels now?" He asked in a starind voice, the words finally managing to roll off his tongue thick and accusatory. He felt a sickening anticipation his hand absentmindedly rubed his chest trying to ease the tight squeezing of his heart. He was holding his breath agonising over your answer. What if you were with them? What if he had lost you anyway? What does that mean for the two of you then? Would he have to kill you? More importantly could he?

"Im not. Or i was physically there with them but im not apart of the rebel alliance. I dont know what they told you but im not. They said you were hunting me! That you were going to!?" You paused for a moment as the fear inside rekindled. Theyd said he was hunting all force sensitive beings just as vader once had. That he would kill you slowly, torture you into insanity before ending you. They said he thought you had run off to continue your jedi training and that he was furious with you.

Youd had thoughts of him attacking you, with his saber and the force. It was terrifying, youd never out matched him, not in hand to hand combat, the force or deuling. He decimated you each time and those had been just sparring matches where you knew he held back. In a real fight you wouldnt survive two mineuts.

"Calm down, take a breath. Im not going to hurt you, do you here me? Im not going to hurt you, i just want the truth thats all. Just tell me the truth, and everything will be okay. I'm here to listen, id never belive those traitors over you" he instructed slowly squeezing your arm again trying to ease you. To coax you from your panic. You swallowed dryly, feeling a light spark of hope from his words. The fact he still held your words in high regard soothed you somewhat, he still knew you and trusted you to some degree. It was a relief. Tell the truth, you can do that. because honestly you had nothing to hide. And soemthingntold you if he did doubt you he'd take the time to look through your mind before sending you to execution.

"They tracked me down, they were trying to pull me in. They have been trying to recruit me for a while now. They're running low on force sensitive people to throw infront of you. They were willing to overlook my darkside at least untill they find skywalker themselves" you uttered after wetting your lips nervously. You had no loyalty to the resistance or skywalker. You werent involved anymore, this wasnt your fight and youd have no part in it.

You tipped your head to face kylo, a smll smile grazing your lips taking another moment or so to truly drink in the sifpght. He really had become handsome. Taller then youd expected, broader to, he was stunning. Nd the scar across his face would have marred anyones elses beauty but it... suited him, his character it gave him a visual to the rugged edge he'd always hidden. He looked dangerousnd magnificent. Your eyes flicked away frim his before he could see your flushed cheeks. Now was not the ti,e to start fawning over him. He had questions and you had the answers. Everything else can wait.

"I even debated joining just to kill him myself. But when they told me you were kylo i? I didnt want to become your enemy" you added shrugging a little before pausing hesitating on your lst statment. It was true though, you had no quarrel with the first order. Sure it was a little daunting to see another empire try to rise. But didnt that just men without the jedi this is the normal. Empires rising and falling in the external fight for dominance. There will always be someone who thinks they can do a better job ruleing. That they deserve a chance, and if need be they will take the top spot by force. Surely its better to just stick with the devil you know?

"They couldnt understand that. And still pushed, chaseing me across systems! This time they had me truley cornered, trying to scare me, telling me that the first order were after me because im a threat; that you were hunting me, wanted me dead they said they heard it in a transmission" your words grew more panicked, more weary and your chest tightened once more as the adrenaline flooded your veins. You felt more vulnerable and uncertain by the second.

Kylo growled low in his throat, rumbling in his large chest echoing off the walls as if they'd been struck. The force arou d him quivered as he began a descent into anger once more.

"So they are trying to scare you into their ranks?. Pathetic" his lip curled into a violent snarl. His hands clenching, jaw locking for a moment, teeth grinding. To think theyd try to manipulate you to brazenly. Lie to your face and threaten you with him, his fury.

You whimpered, pressing back in to the table shivering, quaking in fear so violently that he heard it, physically heard your body shuddering against to cold metal. Your eyes were closed, biting your lip willing yourself to disappear. He relaxed. The force, shit. He forgot, you were force sensitive and his rage would affect you more then others. To you it would prickly, pinch and grate on your very skin like bladed sandpaper. Cut and scrape.

"I was not looking for you, or hunting you. I toyed with the idea but you hadnt been spotted in the rebellion i? I assumed you were content being away from it all" he acquiesced, mamanging 5o control himself and dial back his rage. Instead he inched closer cupping one of your cheeks urgingnyou to look at him.

You hissed, drew a deep sharp breath cringing waiting for... something? Anything! But instead he held still, letting his palm warm your skin through his glove. You peaked up at him tentativly. He gave a small half smile, one of reassurance yet also questioning you, asking you to trust him.

"i dont want you dead, i never have and never will. Your no threat to me, you never posed yourself as a threat. So i wouldnt treat you as one. It seems noone truely understands how much we care for and trust one another" he spoke barely a whisper, as his hand smoothed over your cheek. You nuzzled into him delicatly blinking slowly, enjoying the contact. It was, nice. To feel someone, to feel him again. Youd take anything you could, any gentle touch or soft glimpse of ben you could get.

It didnt last, he pulled back removing himself from you as he spome once more, tryingt to go back to business. But that didnt ,atter, he had show you a few seconds of almost loveing kindness and that was enough for you.

"Everything they told you is a lie, a desperate attempt on the rebels part trying to recruit all the force sensitive people they can find, even ones that werent good enough to be trained" he stated firmly, dropping his hands behinde him taking on a powerful stance, hos chest swelling slightly, arms bulging in the robes he wore, tugging on the seams slightly showing off his physique.

"They were... persistent i have been evading them for years but? When they found me this time... something was different. It was odd they were trying to make me hate you, trying to scare me saying you betrayed them. They hinted at me useing my darkness, suppose they want to try fighting fire with fire" you continued slowly trying to put everything into words was hard. Because honestly there was so many emotions and caveats that you had to think through and label. So much trauma and fear, pain, regret to force yourself through to explain the situation. All while staying truthful and making your point.

"They dont know you saw the whole thing?" He asked with a frown, surely they knew what had happened for you to survive, or have an inkling? Unless they belived he loved you so had spared you and if so they were truley cruel to try and use you against him.

"No, no one seemed to know the whole story. And those that do? Well your the first person ive told. And I was small, if you recall not even you could find me when i skipped my lessons" you finished with a small chuckle. He rolled his eyes before tipping his head to the side agreeing with a half shrug and laughed.

"You were always tricky to locate, your ability to shield your life force was something i admired and loathed" It was true, you managed to get away with alot because you could effectivly disappear from the force at will. It made keeping up with your shenanigans hard.

"Yes well it didnt do me any good hiding from the rebles alliance did it? They have eyes everywhere kylo." You sighed trying not to let the weight of your failure show, it was hard though. Youd literally wanted to achieve one thing. One tiny thing and that was to be left alone, dissappear into the galaxy. Kylo frowned drawing a deep breath, not only the confirmation that the rebles did indeed have connectiones in everycorner of the galaxy, but he could also see that being found had got to you. You werent playing or trying to hide behind false pretenses. You were genuinely upset, anxious and flighty. you were never one to accept your failures well and he could see being found was frustrating. It hurt him, tore into his tightening chest, what if you didnt want to see him? Or worse, what if you didnt want to stay?

"You really arent with them are you?" He uttered, more of a self realisation then anything else. He watched spinning slightly to rest his hip against the table you were on. He expected you to flinch, to tug at the bonds or yelp trying to pull away from him. Instead you gravitated towards him, tilting your body in his dorection subtley, seeking him out for some comfort. Though he didnt get time to comment or even smile at the small subconscious movement. Instead you began speaking, blinking up at him with tearfully hopeful eyes.

"No, im not and i never will be, this isnt my fight. It never was, i never wanted training or? or stupid force abilities; Why would i fight for the jedi; or even your mother? when they only want me to kill for them. Return me to skywalker to finish training just to taint myself by killing you?" You paused trying to shake the anger frommyou. It was hard though, looking back now everything was a manipulation. You were training to be a weapon of 'peace'. Nothing more, nothing less.

"No way. Absolutely not, he took so much away from me, it was like i was an animal to them. Nothing but an evil child meant to become a tool to use. But unfortunately they wont take no for an answer" you admonished, your words drifting from sincerity to frustration, irritation and finally resignation. He could not only hear it but feel it, it would seem you have relaxed enough to let him sense you. Feel you for the first time since he'd left.

It was euphoric, like coming home in a sense. The same airy feeling. Thealmost dry smokey whistful and warm feeling you always gave him. Yet it was clouded, fear, almost frantic paranoia. Frustration and panic. Turmoil. But most of all you felt tired.

Exhausted, from the years of hiding and running. Fighting and hideing the force, blocking it out. Compressing the raw power inside of you into a tiny space hidden in your mind. Keeping the all powerful force of life itself under lock and key. Surpressing everything youd come to know and accept all while running for your life.

"i didnt think youd try to fight for them, or against me. Or i had hoped not" he offered meekly with a shrug, glancing at you offering a slight tilt to his lips.

"I dont want to fight anyone, but they are adamant i do just that. Apparently i have no choice i have to choose because i was trained"

"So if i asked you to fight for me? For the first order?" He asked unable to deny himself the chance to hear you. He wanted you to be heard, to be given the chance to speak and be given a choice. If frightened him, he didnt know what he would do if you denied him everything. But he was determined to try and keep himself in check and abode your wishes.

"i just want to live. Its all i've ever wanted to do Kylo" you whispered. Kylo hummed and nodded with a tight smile, it wasnt a no. But it wasnt exactly a yes eigther. There was no guarantees youd stay beside him, but he couldnt help feeling at ease with your answer.

"I understand" 'I did too' kylo finished the thought with a heavy sigh. He truley did understand, he wanted nothing more then to live out his life. Not be manipulated or judged for things he couldnt control. The only difference between the two of you was that he found snoke and fed his hatred letting it become his power, he'd wandered deeper into the force and his darkness. And youd dinstanced yourself from the force and hid away.

"You know they wont leave you alone untill you make a choice. Until then youll never get any peace you were a skywalker pupil they wont let that go. Youll never be free" he uttered with a sigh, hewas so ewhat greatfull to the resistance for leading him to you. But also felt a gnawing bitter anger, they had been trying to ue youjust as snoke had used him. He was no fool, he knew very well how much he'd been taken advantage of. He told himself being aware of it made it better somehow? Less humiliating? Yet he broke free of it in the end. Just as his servitude was ending, yours was trying to begin.

He was proud of you in a sense, the way you flatly refused to be a pawn. In a way you refused what he could not. Only his keeper was snoke and yohrs would have been his own mother. Yet even through all of this anger, pride and shame he couldnt help feel an overwhelming pity for you. Because as he said, youdnever be free of them, the resistance. The jedi they were parasites, latching onto anything that will ensure their own survival with little thought to those they damage and destroy along the way. All that mattered was their own ambition and goals. Youd be forever running from them.

"Well not while im here anyway." You chuckled motioning to the way you were strapped to the table with an uncomfortable grin. Kylo cursed and quickly flicked his fingers up, releasing your bonds before helping you sit up. You thanked him rubbing your wrists gently trying to stop the pins and needles from stinging your finger tips.

"You could be" kylo uttered an barely a whisper. Almost as if he didnt want you to hear him. You paused flicking your gaze to him confusion twisting across your face.

"Could be what?" Kylo swallowed as your eyes locked with his, he looked uncertain and small just as your words had been. You were vulnerable in a way he loathed, youd forgotten yourself, your power your drive. It was gone, and it made his heart clench painfully and his blood boil in his veins. He wanted you more and more as it became clear youd done nothing but hide and cower. Spent your years running from the first order, the war and resistance. Desperately looking for somewhere wanting nothing more then to forget about your past.

"Free here. You could be free here, with me. The rebels wouldnt dare set foot here and youd be protected. I would protect you" he emphasised stepping closer, his thighs touching your knees. And then his huge hands found yours. Twisting them in his grasp gently thumbs rubbing your reddened wrists trying to sooth them. Your gaze locked on to his face, trying to read his expression. But he dipped his hed down, his hair hanging down sheilding his face, keeping his secrets.

"Your-your offering me freedom? In the first order? I doubt the rebels would take that well, they'd say I was kidnapped or something stupid." Your voice waivered before laughing humourlessly, shaking your head scoffing at him thinking it was just wishful thinking. Theres no way kylo would offer you a home here in the first order. No matter the history or fondness between you. You were an ex-jedi student of skywalkers temple and found with a huge group of resistance fighters in a makeshift military base. The first order thought you were a traitor to them or something.

"Not if your decision was made public. If we made sure you were seen" kylo offered without a moments hesitation, his head riseing once more. Gifting you a single glance before his eyes darted around the room, looking anywhere but you as he tried finding the confidence to say what he really meant.

He felt like a teenager again, desperately wracking his brain trying to find those magic words that would turn his dream into a reality. That'd give him his own happily ever after innthis clusterfuck of a situation.

"You want me to stand beside you when you raid bases and ships like some propergander prop? Let them see that skywalker created not one but two;" your frustrated words were cut off by him shaking his head at you. Growling leaning forward pressing his way between your knees standing firmly before you. His hands trailing up your arms, resting just below your elbows in a strangely distant yet intimate hold. Panic threatened to wash over him for the first time in years.

"No! Of course not! Nothing like that. And thats not to say i think your weak either. I know how powerfull you were, the potential you have. And even though youd become a great asset to me as a soilder or posterchild i wont use you like them, i am better then that" he grunted, his voice somwhere between offended and saddened. His anger flared momentarily, did you truly think he'd be just as dishonest as the rebles? As skywalker and his mother? That he'd use you and cast you out when he was done? It hurt, gutted him to belive you thought so little of him. He knew he had changed but even he like to think he had some integrity left.

"But thats not to say I'd refuse to train you if you wish, help you master the darkside, not fear and loath it." His words wavered as he saw the face you made, the twisting of a frown and the feeling of distaste curling around you like a potent perfume infecting him, becoming trapped in his throat with all of the words he wished he could say outloud.

"Or not, you can stay here with me as a confidant; a friend. Someone i can actually trust" he uttered shrugging, removing one hand from you raiseing it up in a surrendering motion as he began ratteling off another option. That sounded as if there was alot more thought put into it then he was willing to admit.

"Or if you want to take a place beside me. Not as a soilder but perhaps as more... As empress? I'd- i mean to say that... The position is open to you, if you wish. All you have to do is say and.. i would" he stuttered slightly, his grip on your arm loosening as he focused on his own hands grasping you nervously. Running his thumbs across the soft skin of your inner arm gently. He was anxiously waiting your reaction. He may have voiced his thoughts prematurely but? He wasnt going to take it back. He liked you. No. He loved you, you were the only person in his life that hadn't used or manipulated him. You accepted him dark and all.

"Empress? Your empress? Are you? Are you serious? What? Wheres that come from?" You fought the words, wresteling them out through hitched breaths and shock. Your stomach flipped, filling with butterflies and your cheeks burst into a bright blush. Mind instantly latching onto the idea.

You couldnt help it, the sweet gentle intimacy only brought back the feelings youd thought had died. Feelings that had been dangerous, forbidden. And yet here and now they weren't. You werent jedi, and neither was he. You were free. Free to give and take in a selfish love. Free to claim what your heart desired and protect it feircely. Not only that but its what was being offered, freely without remorse or fear or the need to hide. It was too good to be true, theres no way there wasnt a hidden catch. If there one thing you learned is the force doesnt work in mysterious ways, it was exchange. What it gives it can and will take without a moments notice and theres nothign you could do about it. Everything had a price, and to offer this up so carelessly meant the price will be dire.

"I have always liked; no thats to say? You are the only woman i've ever loved. I love you even now" He uttered suddenly, unable to catch himself. He paused when you gasped audibly hands rising to your mouth, covering the shock. He? He didnt just? Did he? He couldnt possibly have just admitted something like that so thoughtlessly. So casually, as if his words wouldnt possibly alter both of your lives.

You shook your head subtly, tears pricking your eyes. It was too much to hope for. Love. It was a fools errand, forbidden, taboo unachievable for your kind. Jedi cant escape their teachings even when they leave the orders and temples.

Kylo grasped your quivering hand pulling it from your mouth before drawing it to his own. Pressing the back of it to his lips, eyes closing as his kiss lingered. Drawing in a deep breath theough his nose andmheld still. Enjoying what could very well be the last tender moment he would ever get with you. A moment he will cherish.

You sniffled leaning forward pressing your head to his chest your other hand riseing to capture the cloak at his waist. He hummed tucking the hand at his lips into his own once more holding it to his chest delicatly. And you both stayed like that for some time reveling in the silence, just enjoying the comfort youd both longed for.

"I have always loved you" he uttered breaking the silence, taking the chance to wrap himself around you, his arms moving to hold you, drawing you closer to him, pressing you to his chest.

"Your beautiful, funny easy to be around and? You have never lied to me or tried to sway my decisions. Not once, you are grown now beautiful, articulate everythingni thought youd be. The first order needs someone to admire, a crown jewel so to speak" his words seemed light, yet sincere. Almost hopefull.

You closed your eyes whining under your breath pressing into him harder. Your hand squeezing his cloak dragging him closer. It was more then you could dream. He inched closer hands finally capturing you, arms wrapping around you pulling you flush against him dippingnhis head down to rest on yours. You responded instantly curling your own arms around his torso. Holding on tightly afraid this was ll just some fucked up hallucination thats goingnto be ripped away. That the force will tear him from you again.

"I need you. Need something; someone to fight for. All this time I've been fighting for power. Rage and hate fueling my every move. But i dont want that. I honestly dont, i want to be more then what became of vader. More then another power hungry sith or evil dictator. I want to end not just the jedi but the sith aswell. Just like we talked about. Nothing but the force itself" His explained softly, tracing light patterns across you with his fingers, flexing his rms to hold you even tighter, press you closer. You both clung to one another as if your lives depended on it. Yet there was no rush, not anxieties just the twoof you finally accepting each other as more then comrades or friends.

"I want you by my side, but i only want you to stay if thats what you want." His words waivered slightly, your ongoing silence becoming deafening.

"It would keep the rebels away if they saw you made such a decision and you were happy and i believe i could make you happy, that we could make each other happy." You hummed listening carefully. Still loosing yourself in the feeling of being so close to him. So wrapped up in his tender hold, your life forces drifting around one another as if trying to re-establish itself. Trying to find the comfortable sweet spot that would revive your bond.

"We could build something remarkable together. You and I, we could prove everyone wrong. And this isnt some sudden realisation. I have always had a strong attachment to you. Always loved you. I just didnt understand it before" the reasons continued to pour from him almost desperately. He could help it, he felt as if it was now or never. That he had to make a convincing argument to keep you by his side.

You sighed and pulled back from him reluctantly slowly dragging your hands across his ribs as you did so. He frowned, eyes searching yours, he made to grasp at you again but you intercepted raising your own hands to meet his, delicatly placing your palms to his weaving your fingers between his own.

"D-do you really mean it? That... that you love me?" You spome in a hushed secretive tone. As though testing him, testing yourself unsure if you could trust youd heard him correctly. But perhaps it was also becuase you needed the clarification, reassurance that he had admitted to something so significant, so utterly life changing.

"Yes, it was one of the many things skywalker berated me for. It was forbidden, you were forbidden. It was why i distanced myself from you in the weeks before, i was trying so hard to fight it" he gave a tight smile, it had been hard to abstain from you. To pull back and desert you as he tried desperately to be a good jedi. To follow the hypocriticall code.

When it was brought down into its most basic components the jedis code was to protect and love everyone as a whole but never become selfish enough to love and protect individuals. The greed of such selfish adoration will breed possessiveness; the refusal to give up the one you loved. This then gave way to worry, paranoia. And from there you fall to fear; the fear of loss. Settle into loathing and hate. Finally suffering; suffer the loss of your love, suffer the greif and regret when you lose all that you held most dear. That was the decent into the darkside. The journy most sith fell prey to. And it all started with forbidden love.

Kylo was pulled from his thoughts as your voice cracked, weak words tumbling from you as you revealed he was not alone in being caught out by his uncle. You too had been warned many times about your feelings towards ben.

"He got at me about it too. I love you too. He scolded me many times, even hinting at me to leave if i couldnt control it" and just like that the daydream was gone, the proverbial spell broken and it felt as if the whole world came crashing down upon you. Just like before, only this time it wasnt codes, oaths and the fear of beong caught that was stopping you from pursuing him. No, it was worse. Status, titles and public opinion.

No. this was? It cant work! Hexs the leader of the first order, a jedi killer. And you were effectivly an apostate. An ex jedi that the rebels were desperately trying to recruit. You were found with them! Brought in as a prisoner and cuffed inside an interrogation cell. Itd ruin his credibility, if he were seen with you.

Kylos heart seized as he heard the thoughts loud and clear. You were projecting in your panic. In the sorrow and anxious devastation. No. No! He wont allow it. He wont let you deny yourself happiness, he wont let you deny him now he knows the truth.

"No. No dont? Dont say that we can. We can be together we can. I can make it happen. Im the supremeleader anything i say goes. I can; we can build our own future together" kylo hissed, shaking his head sharply squeezing your hands as you tried detaching yourself from him.

"But kylo...What would the first order say? Surley they would have issues with me; an ex jedi caught with a batallion of rebel's suddenly beside you exachanging vows" kylos reply silenced you. It was a snarl, a deep frustrated growl echojngnin his chest sending shivers down your spine. Goosebumps rose on your skin, your tummy fluttered. There was something about his reaction, about knowing he would argue, that he'd fight for you. It made you feel relieved and anxious all at once. Youd never had anyone fight for you before, you normally had to do that all by yourself.

"Im their supreme leader. Theres not much i connot take care of. I would create a story of half truths. Paint you as my lover, my secret fiancé who i hid away from everyone for her own protection; that i feared snokes reaction if he ever knew" his words soothed you so ewhat, and he could tell. You relaxed, listening to him intently. It made sense sort of?

"Id say youd been hunted by the rebels because of who you were to me. Explain that the whole operation was to rescue you, that the rebels got to you before i could come and collect you once id killed snoke. And the raid was just me bringing you home.

"But i was brought here in cuffs? That trooper knows im here, in an interrogation cell it cant? I wont be your down fall;"

"It was a ruse for your safety!" Kylo finally snapped at you, his desperation to keep you becoming irritation. Why didnt you trust him? Why did you doubt he could fix it, handle everything and take care of you. He loved you, you loved him that should be enough shouldnt it?

He drew a deep breath befpre cupping the sides of your face lightly. Your eyes closed and you gave into his touch. Enjoying the warmth on your cheeks as his hands held you. You pressed into the soft leather of his gloves silently wishing he'd taken them off. You didnt want barriers between you, you wanted him, just him. His skin, his affection his love everything!

"Everyone knows anything could happen when it comes to those... vermin. I had you cuffed and brought here as a precaution. They could have done anything to you my love, warped your mind, pumped you full of toxins to insight hallucinations looking for information about me, us the first order?" His story unfolded around you, creating the perfect romantic tragedy. Rewriting the script of your romance as if he'd already finished a manuscript. You almost forgot how quick he was thinking on his feet, conjuring stories and reasons with ease.

"I had to do it this way, incase they belived youd turned on me. You could have played the part of a deserter to survive. But now, once ive had time to read you, to peer into your mind i know you hadnt betrayed us. You managed to fend off their cruel games and twisted words" he continued his reasoning, useing logic to create the perfect reunion for the two of you. Setting the stage for you to both love one another freely.

"And you came home, stronger than ever. Ready to take your rightfull place. And the rebels would feel Iied to by their general, of course she had to have known who her sons fiance was, we did grow up together. Theyd lose morale. And we'd gain it. And id finally have you all to myself. With no shame, or fear. Just us together as it should have always been" his rant came to a slow sweet end. Making you smile, grinning shyly up at him. You liked the sound of that, being with him like regular people. Normal lovers able to enjoy one another.

"But most importantly be safe and loved for the rest of your days. We could have everything we were denied, we could be together. Truley be together, do you hear me?" His hands shifted, dragging over your ears, further and further back untill his fingers stretched out i to your hair lightly massaging your scalp. And then he moved nuzzling into you, breathing deep trying to drown himself innyour scent. It was just as he remebered, light spice that seemed to cling to you from your love of the exotic, coupled with a slight sweet honeyed scent that came from every scented soap, shampoo and conditioner. And then the overall delicate scent that was your own. It was the smell of home. The scent that haunted him just as much as his dreams. He'd missed it. Your eyes fluttered closed, melting into him natheing in the long lost warmth of a kind embrace.

"We can do it. Together me and you, nothing will stop us. Nothing will ever come between us my love, please dont... dont turn away, dont leave me. I love you. I still love you and i promise you; swear to you that i wil, protect you. Protect us... there can be an us now. We will never hide, or shy away from each other again" his word grew almost frantic, pleading even. You pressed into him tighter tlitling your head tryingnto tuck yourself into him properly and rest against his chest. But he paused, stopping you carefully before tipping your head up promtpingnyou to look at him, locking eyes again.

"Please give us a chance? Give the first order a chance. You wont regret it. You wont" you tentativly moved to cup his own cheek tilting your head to the side taking in the sight of him. So vulnerable and raw. Sincere and sweet? Hopefull. You couldnt deny him. You knew it deep down, there was no way you could abandon him. Not when youd both finally revealed your true feelings. Not when he already had all the answers, all the excuses and plans. But that didnt mean you werent going to ask what was expected of you.

"What would i have to do? As empress i mean? I dont want to... i wont have to fight? Or officially join the darkside and become sith? Will i?" Kylo froze his entire body shuddered. Did that mean? Were you really going to stay?! He grinned unable to stop the giddy laugh from bubbling in his throat. It was more then he could imagine. The rush of happiness, anticipation. But quickly shook his head before speakign answering all of your fears and doubts wanting to nip them in the butt before you could dwell on them and overthink.

"No, not at all. Not for a second i wouldnt force you my love. Like i said the choice is yours, it will always be yours. Whether you become my apprentice, empress or stay as a freind i will protect you from skywalker and the rebels. You never have to fear them or look over your shoulder again" he uttered dragging his hands over yu, lower, curling around your waist resting in the curve of your back.

"That is if you stay.You-you are always free to walk away now. It would be painful to watch you go, but i would let you. Id have you escorted to where ever you want to go" his promise came with a fearfull swallow. But he wanted to make sure you understood, that you knew you had the choice. That you truly had a choice and he'd respect your wishes.

"Though id much rather have you here with me, beside me. I belive we were meant to find one another again. I really do. I dont want to let you go. I just want you to be safe, to have the saftey and security of a home. Something that had been ripped from us as children."

"Kylo;" you tried halting his rambling, the anxious words that escaped him as his thoughts ran rabid, second guessing his own offer. Would you think he was trying to takl you out of it? Trying to chase you away? Fuck. Fuck what if he misspoke or pushed to hard?

You could see the wild panic, the odd nauseating fear that spiked from him, making the force tremble around the both of you restlessly. But you couldnt manage to get a word in as he began falling into another half anxious monologue of explanations and reasoning.

"You know what it feels like to be manipulated and have your life mapped out for you. We had many decisions made for us, too many options taken from us and we both paid for them with blood and fear. We know how cruel family is. You deserved better. You deserved a choice" he finalised with conviction. He made to open his ,outh once more but you hushed him, a single palm covering his mouth, managing to stop another round of persuasion from the large sweet man.

"We both did... And maybe we can make things better together? We can make a real family, a home and right a few wrongs? Be ourselves without shame or remorse together. One united front? Us against the galaxy?" Your hand slowly drifted to his hair as you spoke, making your decision. Your fingers danced in the thick ebony locks. You smiled when he couldnt refrain from nuzzling into you once more. He really wasnt the big scary man he tried to be. Just a huge loth cat.

"What? You mean? Youll stay with me? As my empress? Youll really stay?" Your heart broke at the tiny disbelieving voice, so unlike him. Yet exactly what youd expect from the old ben. The one who felt so much weight, so much responsibility with little love for himself. Back then he was so uncertain, so frightend to chase after what he wanted because he felt denying himself made him strong.

"Id be honoured kylo. I can think of nothing id like more than to spend my life with you, if youll have me?" You anounced, dragging his face closer your own unable to stop the fluttering in your tummy, or the way your face flushed, and the excited giddiness overwhelming you.

He wrapped himself around you, nose touching your own eye flicking from your own gaze down to your lips, the temptation to press his own against yours and devour you. Lock you into a kiss that had been long overdue.

"Of course, fuck yes i mean i? I want you by my side. I love you" he whispered, not wantingnto break the spell. The euphoric haze that seemed to isolate the two of you from the rest of the galaxy in this moment.he couldnt, wouldnt jeopardise this one peacfull moment you had together. The moment youd both been praying for since your early teens.

"I love you too. Theres just one thing i ask from you?" You breathed out, grazing his nose with the lightest of touches. Barely hanging on to the thread of control you somehow maintained.

"Name it, its yours" his voice dipped low. No thoughts just feeling. Pure joy and eager acceptance. He didnt care what it was you wanted. Youd have it, he'd grant you anything even the impossible. He'd find a way to give you the univers in its entirety if you asked.

"Dont lie to me. Even if the truth hurts, even if its dangerous or frightening. Dont hide things behinde half truths and lies. We have both had enough of that for a life time" you could see his eyes soften the aprihension that your qeustion had caused quickly disappeared. He seemed saddened almost, humbled. Your unsure what it was he expected you to ask, but apparently it wasnt honesty.

"You have my word my love. I swear i will never lie to you, never. I trust you to know everything, youll always know as much as i do" in that moment he swore to you and himself. Made it an oath, his own code to live by.

You sighed fully relaxing into him before coilingnyour arms around his neck tugging him down closer and began rising you your tip toes. He didnt need to think, about his next move. His lips met yours in a gentle kiss. The first light pressing on your lips together soon gve way to soemthing heated, years of repressed emotions and desire. Before you realised what was happeneing you were scooped up in hos arms. Legs locking around his waist your kiss now coupled with hands tugging you against him, rocking you against him in a delicious grinding that only spurred the both of you on.

Your kisses quickly became desperate a flurry of nips, kisses and the lapping of his tongue. The constant pressure of his tongue finally pried your own mouth open. He wasted no time in pressing on, fucking into your mouth with his tongue growling as your own fought his, twisting around his own in a decadent battle. His fingers tightened on your ass, digging into the flesh before thrusting his hips against yours. You gasped, tongue faltering in its own assault, he used the mone tto delve deeper, dominating you claiming victory over your playful defiance. Not that you minded, not in the slightest. You moaning when he began tracing the roof of your mouth lightly, a tickling pleasant feeling making you whine, shuddering and arching into his hold.

"Supreme leader i;" you yepled as the modulated voice of a trooper called out only to stop mid sentence as he realised what he'd just walked in on.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" Kylos shout was accompanied with a blast of the force towards the unsuspecting trooper. Not that he needed prompting, at the forst yelled words he'd already turned trying to run as fast as he could in the opposite direction. Only managing a few feet untill he connected with the opposite wall on the hall. The force following closely slamming his helmet clade head even harder into the wall. And then he dropped into a heap of white armour on the floor.

"Oh god; that poor bastard. Is he gonna be okay?" You uttered flushing, giggleing somewhat nervously as there were foot steps in the distance out in the hall growing fainter. Apparently there'd been an audience.

"If he stays down he will be" kylo huffed petulantly. It would have been cute had it not been for the look of murder in his wpeyes, violence on his mind. You sighed before pecking him once more, trapping him in a barrage of sweet kisses between words.

"Kylo. Leave him be... i wasnt going to fuck you here anyway, theres cameras" his eyes flicked to the small cctv cameras in the corner. You had a point. He sighed slowly letting you stand befpre him once more and reached out to retrieve his mask, which you promptly toom from him, holding it carefully. You didnt want him to disappear behinde it just yet. He gave you a look, only to shake his head at you as you subtly twisted the carbon mask from him stubbornly. He chuckled realiseing quickly you wanted to keep looking at him.

"Right~ Come, let's get you home;" he faltered as you stepped up beside him eagerly. It was odd, having someone wanting to be so close to him. He? Liked it. But only if it was you, everyone else better keep their fucking distance... especially if you were there.

"Lead the way" you grinned cutely up at him. It was enough to stop him in his tracks. This was it, his future; your future. It all starts now, starts here. And force be damned he could barely contain the excitement. You were his, and he was yours, and nothing would ever interfere again. For the first time in years, he felt that all powerful hope the rebellion raged on about. And honestly? He could understand it. This was a new, powerful feeling. He felt like he could achieve the impossible. And he would. There was no doubt in his mind now. You'd both succeed where others failed because you had one another.

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