#these shows are some of my lifelines rn

[bubipuppi]

Current brain state: thinking about Arcane, Supernatural, Moonknight and Loki.

Comfort characters making day to day life a bit easier to get through <3

#supernatural agere #moonknight agere #comfort #loki agere #arcane agere #these shows are some of my lifelines rn

[webslingingslasher]

I’m on my period and my cramps are kiiiilling me. Like legit so bad I threw up. And ofc I can’t stop thinking about nerdy!peter, and how much better he would make me feel rn:((((

So if you have the time, I would really like to request a blurb of nerdy!peter taking care of reader that has a more intense period lol<3

(ALSO I need to say that I love you so much!! And I literally read everything you write hehe. Thank you for feeding my tasm addiction!! <33)

*cleaning out my inbox.*

this but you're also not trying to make him feel bad so you're trying to hide it but peter keeps noticing you wincing or awkwardly shifting and he knows it was a planned meet up but:

'do you want me to leave?'

'huh?' you sit straighter and ignore a stab in your lower stomach. peter doesn't sound the least bit offended either. 'you seem a little off. if you don't want to hang out today we can do something tomorrow?'

no, you can't lose your only lifeline. 'i want you here, i promise.' peter knows you get a period but you haven't really talked about it and you're not about to start crying to him over cramps and a headache.

'then are you feeling okay?' the back of peter's hand rests on your forehead, the light touch has your shoulders releasing unnoticed tension. 'no. yeah. sorry, yes.'

peter has an amused look, 'care to explain, ma'am?' a pretend microphone is held under your chin. you lean into it, 'tummy hurts.'

your boyfriend acts like he's been shot. 'my girl is hurting on my watch, i've failed.' then looks up at you from your bed, 'what can i do? do you need a snack, or a sprite? what about chocolate, don't girls like that when they're on their period?'

you freeze, 'period?' peter's eyes widen, he might've just messed up big time. sitting up, he does his best to not make it worse. 'i'm so sorry, i thought you were on your period but i should never make that assumption. i'm sorry, i love you and i am ready to repent.'

shifting and tugging at your sweater you look at the ground, you feel a little embarrassed. 'why do you think i'm on my period? have i been mean or something?'

peter coos and shakes his head while tugging you halfway over his lap. 'you're never mean to me, why else would i call you my sweetheart, hm?' peter softly cups your face and pouts. 'i said that because you always have a tummy ache this time of the month. and maybe a little hangry.' another breath, 'you also cry more.'

he knows you better than you thought. 'you picked up on all that?' it's a little warming, he notices everything. peter scoffs at the assumption that you thought he wouldn't. 'it took a couple months. i said something to may one day and she looked at me and said something like 'c'mon, peter. put two and two together and get her some chocolate.' so i brought you m&m's and you cried. so, yeah, i kinda figured it out then.'

you remember it. peter showed up and said he stopped for something at a corner store and saw them by the register and thought you'd like them. the memory sends tears stinging at your eyes. 'it was just so nice. you thought of me and spent money on me.'

peter laughs a little, 'i did.' you nod, as if his answer explained your tears. 'peter?' he lights up, 'yeah?' you give him puppy dog eyes, you're praying for his sympathy. 'i have cramps and they really hurt.'

it's all you needed to say for peter to jump into action, for a moment you regret not saying anything sooner. you've been missing out on cuddles and forehead kisses and unwavering attention. 'my poor baby. what do you need from me?' 

#i'm so sorry guys- i just haven't liked anything i've written recently and i don't know why #i miss you all #nerdy!peter

[beesmygod]

I'm glad you watched another playthrough of the devil in me bc sgfs run made it look so bad I wondered if he had missed some absolutely crucial game choice but no I guess it really is just like that

the shit makes no sense. im going to "spoil" it rn but like. you can't spoil this game. theres no twist theres just a fucked up guy who walks at you. the killer was killerman. you win prize money.

like lets do a quick list of what was good ("good") and what wasnt. most of these are just going to be moments or isolated plot elements

THE BAD:

it wasnt as accidentally funny as their previous games. accidentally funny i mean.

it had the audacity to end with someone picking up the h.h. holmes mask (not a thing that exists btw. no one is making these except like custom on etsy. its so fucking suspicious) like "oooh hes going to do it agaiiiin!" but he got chopped up by a boat propeller. no he isnt

the areas and parts where certain players were "supposed" to die were REALLY telegraphed and detrimental to the pacing of an already artificially bloated plot

why was there a dog that hated the murderer living on the island waiting to bite the shit out of him. whose dog was that. why was there dog. cheap emotional fodder tossed in at the end.

the opening kill is legitimately unpleasant to watch. they forgot that the kills are supposed to be gruesome and not stomach churningly sadistic or remind me of holocaust movies

the characters are genuinely awful and boring people who hate each other. not a single lifeline to be had. even the dog shows up too late for you to establish any kind of friendship

the reason why no one has cell phones is because a guy who is tricking them into taking his place as the murder victims just takes them as part of the "experience". they're a fucking film crew lol. theres no way

i legit thought it was going to end up being a team of people bc he was somehow everywhere at once doing the slow jason walk

instead it's one man, an ex-FBI agent who was abused by his mom and gets talked into doing serial murder by the single lamest serial killer monologue ive ever heard in my life. its just a guy who decided to try something different one day. and then i guess he built a murder hotel after faking his death so he could do more murder. this sucks. i dont care about this.

the plot elements are completely random. the animatronics made out of PEOPLE (they apparently did not get the news that they were beat to this idea by a solid near decade) have nothing to do with anything at all. not h.h. holmes, not murder hotel. they're just there for no reason. they barely even get used.

and they had the audacity to show him MAKING animatronics OF THE 5 FILM CREW MEMBERS after they arrived on the island. this game takes place over the course of one day. he did not do this. there is no way. this game stretches the player's suspension of disbelief too far.

the writing on the mom and the serial killer is pathetic lol. its rough to see evil attempted by people who can only conceptualize it in terms of physical violence

oh great another taxidermy guy. thanks

it was just some guy

THE "GOOD"

the ending is so bad that its ballsy. it cuts to a news reporter talking about how they are still finding bodies in the hotel where 5 person groups were tricked into staying so that they could be murdered. the ppl watching the report are interrupted by their friend who tells them her viral video won a contest (dog its 2022 lol) and the prize is that 5 of them get to stay in a mysterious hotel owned by a man with the same name as the guy they were just talking about.

then it zooms into the email the girl got telling her that she won and that one image of h.h. holmes is just in the window

did he make the little graphic announcing she has won? did he deliberately include himself? did he not notice somehow that he was in the picture. did he set up a timer and run up to the top floor so he could be very spooky and mysterious

HOW could he POSSIBLY afford another murder house. the invoice for the first one on the private island is IN THE GAME and its an eye popping amount. he does NOT have another house like where is he getting the money? or getting it zoned? or tricking ANOTHER construction team into building death traps that are suspiciously like the ones on the news

theres a part where a woman is stuck in a closet having an anxiety/asthma attack and the scary murder man gives her her inhaler. for some reason. this is never explained

why did he have ultra specific recordings of his mom commenting on what time he arrives and what page of his baby book he looks at. or what time it is.

theres phonographs and creepy music playing everywhere and no one turns them off like "what the fuck!!!" they're just like ooooh no im being menaced SSOOOO much

why was one of the crew members friends with someone who was strangled by "the campus strangler". as far as i can tell this adds nothing to the story, it just freaks her. as the player i dont care bc the the killerman just finds this out somehow and finds a copy of the paper where they used a photo taken of her, her friend and the strangler. guess which one is the strangler:

how could they identify his fake dead body from "dental records". they explicit say this. did he fucking glue a set of teeth into the guys mouth. is he toothless throughout the whole game. is he wearing fake teeth. im laughing just typing this up. what the fuck

he pulled an hh holmes on the construction crew after they built a hh holmes themed murder hotel for him.

the murder counter. why does it exist. how does it know to update.

im now thinking about how funny it is that he put in a 4th digit. get real dude! no WAY

the director being baited into an obvious trap with cigarettes like he was being hunted by wiley e. coyote was insane. my dude you are being murdered. you know you are at this point. why did you go into the room with only one entrance!!

this:

it was just some guy

#long post

[emblazons]

i'm struggling to see how the script has anything in our favour... pls give me a hand you're my fav st blog and i always reread your posts when i have doubts but nothing is working rn lol

Okay—first off, and probably most importantly: scripts are not law. You cannot and should not take the script more seriously than anything you see on screen, given that its more a starting document that has to be edited and brought to life, not the show in and of itself.

Taking what is in a script and saying "oh no, we lost because THE SCRIPT said" would be like your professor throwing out your final paper, pulling out one of your earlier rough drafts, and saying "THIS is what I need to take most seriously and grade for concepts and final ideation...rather than their final product," with all your incomplete notions, underdeveloped concepts, and even things you realize later didn't work for making your final (actual) points included...which is what people are doing when they take a script more seriously than what they see on screen.

Just like it would make no goddamn sense to do that with an essay, so there's no reason to do it with a script....ESPECIALLY when we know that The Duffers are 1) more collaborative than a lot of creators (there are some directors where the script is law...Matt & Ross just aren't those directors), 2) there are quite literal obvious changes that happened between script and screen between The Piggyback script and The Piggyback itself, and 3) WRITING is not the medium this story is being told in—its television and film.

Scripts should only ever been looked at for the sake of understanding the starting concepts and ideas that M&R were trying to convey + learning their style/tone of writing, given that what was on that page eventually evolved through collaboration & editing to better convey a more cohesive, thematically comprehensive and even complex story on the screen (and the several mediums other than writing that make up a show that aren't writing) itself. Period full stop.

NOW. (cut because image heavy/script breakdown)

Maybe i'm just inoculated to any true doubt at this point, but: I fail to see what happened in this script that we didn't already know? Or...what would inspire so much doubt?

If its about the monologue, we knew already that Mike said he loved her, and if you read the script back in the version we got...El was literally pale, covered in blood, and losing consciousness as Mike was speaking...and holding onto his words like a lifeline because that's what you do when you're being choked to death. The cues in the moments around what Mike says make that clear as day:

Trying to imagine this scene holds any romantic connotations (in the form in the script, because, again, the script is not what ended up on screen) with these cues is like saying someone drowning in a pool wouldn't cling to the words of person trying to save them from the water, or "find strength" to keep trying to live...even if that person was a stranger.

There's nothing inherently romantic about holding onto someone like a lifeline, which is what this script delineates El doing...with a complete absence of positive "romantic" connotations in her or Mike's (or even ANYONE ELSE'S) responses to what's going on in the moment. Everybody literally thinks she's gonna die—and Mike is just saying whatever motivational thing he thinks is gonna get her to use her powers to stop herself from dying...after Will encourages him to use his leadership ability to help her out.

That...is what happened, both in the script and on screen (though the screen version is arguably WAY worse for romantic mlvn...which is a "good" thing if you choose phrase it like that)—

—and given that we have not one, but two different "romantic (or sexual) tension" moments written in this script as well, its really clear that the intention of the monologue was different than the others.

Even the scene where Argyle calls mike "Romeo" is more romantic-coded than that little monologue...and instead of lovebirds who get their moment like Lucas and Max, we immediately cut to Will being sad about it, which means we weren't allowed to just be happy about their little "flirty" moment anyway.

....like? This is just an ask so I'm not gonna go hard in on it (or comb over 127 pages again) but??? If the script gave you any doubt over what we've spent an entire year breaking down the show itself, the most important thing you can do is put it back in its correct context.

We're fine. Nothing changed. Everything is the same as it was yesterday morning, the canon of the show is still the canon, and the release of this was a rough ideation draft shared for the Emmys and not the final product we all drew our conclusions from.

I just. I guess I hope that helps you lmao. Also, I probably won't be doing any further breakdowns of this script though I did already pull some things I enjoyed before.

Thanks for the ask!

#i'll be so real and say I don't understand doubt coming off this script at all but. Like I hope this helps even on iota lmao #asks

[alexanderlightweight]

Hi! Just came to say that 1) love the Alec being the True blood heir because of the abilities he has, 2) love the idea of nephilim being less human and more angel than what we thought, like, seriously, sign me up! 3) Alec as the institute? Holy shit! 4) competent Alec is so freaking hot, 5) Jace, Izzy and Clary getting what they so rightfully deserve is kind of soothing for my soul 6) dark Malec is the freaking glory and I love them going feral for each other like, not only letting the world burn but setting it on fire themselves if that is what it takes for them to be together and well.

I'm your fan, seriously

Okay so, your ask made me just, feel so many nice feels AND feel better (I’m on 33 hours of an insomnia episode) and this gave me giddy happy feelings especially since you picked and mentioned some of my many favorites!

Because nephilim abilities/bloodline powers was wasted on the show and I love playing with that and eldritch natures

Also because I adore institute Alec and you also like it, I had to go and grab a snippet to share

Dark!malec soft for each other is just, the top tier for me. I really really adore it Insitute Alec is very dark as well so ^_^

Institute! Alec is (for the first time) very upset that he’s not sure how portals will work for him

And thank you, that’s just, I’m really happy rn!

💜 lumine

—

Alec frowns, eyeing the ground in front of him warily. Magnus stands a few feet away, a beautiful smile on his face and Alec wants nothing more than to close the distance between them, to take the hand he holds out.

Instead he stays still, rocks forward unconsciously, involuntary and feels a wistful clench of his heart.

“I can’t,” he says — admits — helpless in the face of his own limits.

It’s a feeling he’s never experienced before and Alec finds it’s not one he enjoys.

Especially when he wants more than anything, to step out and take Magnus’ hand and follow him through the portal. There is a shuttering of Magnus’ face, a closing off of the warmth that Alec wants to wrap around himself. “I-” he hesitates and his body leans forward against his will.

There must be something, a yearning or stark emotion that betrays him, because Magnus is softening and stepping forward. He closes the invisible gap between them and reaches out to brush his knuckles to Alec’s cheek.

“Another time?” He asks, a formality, a courtesy, a lifeline that Alec clings to with the strength of a drowning man.

“Yes,” he breathes, “please. Maybe—” here he pauses, “lunch here? Before our meeting. The Institute gardens are calming and private.”

Magnus nods, pleased and his thumb touches against the tucked corner of Alec’s mouth, “I’d like that. Perhaps since you’ve provided the location, I can provide the fare.”

Alec nods, more excited than he thinks he’s ever managed to feel before.

#lumine talks to ppl #lumine answers asks #lumine rants about words

[journey-to-the-attic]

i know you've spoken about it before but i was wondering if u had any like,,, extended thoughts on ik being nightbrought? sorry if it's too much to ask lol i'm just in such a brainrot over lesson 12 rn!!!

i do have some!! some things have changed since the game first came out... i'll jot some down under the cut ^^

after giving it some more consideration i've changed my mind about removing the future!solomon lifeline, since nb has since opened up a whole BUNCH of cool stuff you could do with his character that only really works if its the solomon from the og game

so he's there too now!

there are like two main directions you could take with ik in this situation; one where she's incredibly stressed out (and understandably upset) about the whole situation, and another where she takes a look at it and just goes 'fuck it we ball'

considering that she's still only just gotten out of the whole belphie arc in jtta, i'm gonna go with the latter because she deserves to be whimsical

also it kind of goes with nightbringer - despite seemingly being much darker on the surface, it's a lot goofier than the og in many aspects

so ik is obviously extremely disoriented upon first getting nightbrought, but i think she'd actually figure out what's happened really quickly - after having done it before, she recognises the ~feeling~ she gets in the aftermath of time travel

also she knows the brothers extremely well at this point, so she'd recognise that they're very different demons suddenly

future solomon shows up and confirms ik's suspicions, and he starts doing this whole reassuring speech thing about how it's all gonna be fine, i'll take care of you, we'll be home in no time

solomon ends up essentially acting as ik's guardian, and he takes the duty very seriously ( rather than ebing his apprentice he refers to ik as his ward)

meanwhile ik's having the time of her life (as long as she doesn't stop to think too hard about her situation)

she's barely even intimidated by any of the brothers anymore - maybe mammon would, because she's never had him get violent or genuinely angry with her and isn't expecting it, but that's the thing - he's never gonna do that with his kiddo, no matter the time

basically it's like that ask about how she'll respond to satan getting all snarly by growling back at him. her responses to being threatened are always so happy-go-lucky that it just makes the demon threatening her forget to be evil and stuff

in terms of the thinking she's a demon thing... i do still think diavolo would recognise that someone this small couldn't possibly be a demon, but it'd be funny if solomon was like 'nah she's just small for her age' and he's just like 'oh word'

belphie and ik make fast friends! i still like this idea, and while the lilith wound is still very fresh, ik's always been good at patching scars up

i think this fast friendship also works better for making belphie question his convictions about humans - since he starts liking ik of his own volition and not necessarily because she's already done stuff for his brothers

in my head i feel like belphie would see that as him being obligated to like her - like, you saved my twin brother, i have to be nice to you now... he'd still come around to just genuinely enjoying her company, but it'd take longer (and make it more difficult for him to confront the lilith thing)

but! i still think mammon would be ik's first friend among the brothers - in the beginning, belphie avoids her since she's human, and it's only after she's already close to mammon that he starts talking to her

ik befriends the other brothers in a similar order to in jtta, with the exception that lucifer doesn't truly warm up to her for a little while longer

in jtta, he starts getting fond of her pretty early on, it just takes a while for it to manifest as the same sort of bond she has with, say, mammon

whereas in this nightbringer situation, because ik's so unafraid of him and not willing to put up with his shit, while still fiercely fighting for him to be kinder to himself, lucifer's not sure how to handle that - and compensates by being extra cold

of course he's also probably the most affected by the recent celestial war, and while ik helps with that, it's only when she's in combination with the rest of his brothers (once she's befriended them) that lucifer would be able to start healing properly

in general, ik's sheer confidence in the devildom (despite being a very different place to the one she knows, there's just a feeling of familiarity and home that transcends time) helps the brothers get settled in too

like, if this human can be so at home down here, as demons, they should be able to as well

diavolo would especially like ik's attitude - she was already friendly in jtta, but here (having already known his goofy future self), she's extra affable with him, and he just likes having a friend

barbatos appreciates ik for this reason - but he's also cautious, because he can't shake the feeling that she knows more than she lets on... something is off about time, and he can't figure out what

aside from her relationships to the characters... let's bring this back to ik being unexpectedly flippant about the situation, and solomon acting as guardian

to take this in the direction of angst (which you were probably more expecting in the first place): ik would potentially get very reckless in nightbringer

more so than she already is in jtta - remember that stunt she pulls in asmo's arc, where she has a stupid idea and charges at henry 1.0 to try acting as bait? she's like that all the time now

while solomon's glad she's not taking this all too hard, it's extremely worrying how little ik seems to care about getting home in one piece

part of it is because ik's still holding that trust she has for the brothers in the future - unconsciously, she fully believes that they'd never hurt her, even if her logical mind tells her that nothing's off the table with these past versions

part of it is because ik is torn up that her family suddenly doesn't know her again, and some piece of her just... doesn't care anymore? if you're going to take away that from her, you might as well kill her

and maybe a part of ik just wants to see if they'd care if she did get hurt

solomon, while also pretty easy-going for someone in his situation (similar to in canon nb), is at least cautious about his and ik's safety. ik just straight up doesn't seem to care

... and that's about all i have for now! i'll ruminate on it some more ^^ maybe i'll have some more thoughts once i've finished lesson 12

#answering asks #anon asks #ik gets nightbrought #i do have some ideas about ik and the angels in nightbringer but i wanna try to make those more concrete first #anyway while all this is going on #everyone in the present is losing their marbles with worry

[batterygarden]

Hi mosie :') I'm sorry for not frequently talking, Just had a massive breakdown over My college applications, i didn't pass and I still have no school

How are you feeling? May I request some dumbahh Denji if that's okay❤️

-mystery anon

Hehe here’s Denji after losing a bet:

“It is done!”

Your voice from down the hall sounds too excited, too upbeat, Denji thinks, for the situation at hand. Because the finished product you’re referring to is not something to be celebrated like some kind of baked good or art piece, but melted wax. Meant for none other than Denji’s hairy legs :(

You watch him scrub his palms in his eyes like he’s exhausted when you walk in the room with your wax jar, or maybe like he hopes that he’s dreaming, before whining a little when a container of glossy blue liquid is set in front of him.

“That stuff looks like it doesn’t belong near the human body. D’ya know for sure it’s not radioactive or something?”

“Of course it isn’t! People do this all the time.”

Denji releases the type of sigh that sounds like it comes from his soul, before he’s rolling up his basketball shorts and letting his back thud against the floor, face in hands.

“Geez Denji. I’m certain it won’t hurt as bad as you think it will.”

He shakes his head before shooting you a look that pleads mercy—the kind you think a patient might give their surgeon before going under. You fight back a laugh.

“I don’t believe you. But the pain’s whatever--like, T’s not even the biggest problem. I’m thinking about after—my legs are gonna look all dainty and smooth for a month!”

You give him a frown and open your mouth to cut him off but then he sits up like he just thought of something.

“‘N what if someone notices that chainsaw man’s legs have no hair?! What’ll that say about him? ‘The nation’s hero succumbs to unhealthy beauty standards’ ugh could you imagine that headline?”

You can only stare at him for a bit, unsure if laughing at his thought process would be too mean. You manage to fight back your giggle with a cough before resting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Baby. Nobodies gonna think you’re upholding toxic beauty standards, I promise. Let’s just get this over with, you’ll be fine.”

He nods and slowly lays back down, gripping onto the carpet beneath him like a lifeline.

You smooth a popsicle stick of hot wax over his thigh before he can protest further, and he flinches but otherwise remains complaintless. You notice his face looks a bit pale when you place the wax paper.

“Alright, on three.”

He whimpers.

“One. Two—“ you tear the strip with all your might before you can get to three.

Denji yelps louder than you’ve heard him since you scared him hiding in the closet on Halloween. Then he pants like he just ran a marathon, sitting up to survey the damage.

“Fuuuuck. Wheeew. That wasn’t so bad. Oh god I’m so red though! why’m I so red?”

“Your skin’s just a little irritated! It’s fine, look!”

You show him the strip of now-hairy wax and he frowns when he sees.

“This is. What’s the word? This is barbaric.”

You giggle and start mixing up the container with a fresh popsicle stick.

BABY I missed this but AUUGH not the college apps I’m so sorry to hear they’ve been stressful and I hope you figured out a plan that works for u!! I wish the act of attaining schooling wasn’t so unnecessarily tough >:( , I prommy it’ll all work out in the end. As for me honestly I’ve been… good :O !! Idk winter was like rlly hard this year so summer has been unbelievably refreshing. I remain terminally busy balancing work and social life and family stuff etc but Im lowkey stable rn so. Anyways It was kinda cool coming back to writing some Denji stuff after so long… I STILL LOVE HIM SO BAD UGH I LOVE HIM FOREVER. My thing w him is that he like. Deserves my loyalty yk! Like no character deserves loyal fans as much as that guy imo so I’m simply never going to stop loving him even though I get new fixations..

#denji fluff #an ask <3 #denji thots ♥️ #mystery anon <3 #I saw this yesterday but actually waited to post till csm Tuesday >:) #u don’t need to apologize also whaaa

[eldritch-araneae]

3 Questions for sparkpulse one whats windblade's relationship with chromia and arcee, is arcee a singer in this one since i saw your "rehearsal" art, What was elita one like before she got turned into blackarachnia was she still optimus partner in this one?

(content warning for third answer which is touches the topic of forced experimentation and mnemosurgery)

Chromia was the one who taught Windblade combat and how to wield a sword. They are friends and would spar often! With Arcee I would say they're friends, tho a bit more distant.

Windy used to be a pretty distant person until recent. Despite her main job as Autobot therapist along with Lifeline and Memory Detective, she was very socially awkward outside of her job. So making friends was difficult and people thought she just very private person like Blackaracnea and gave her a lot of space... which isn't exactly what she wanted.

So imagine the surprise everyone had when Bumblebee appeared and suddenly Windblade is friends with him and they act like they knew each other for a long time ( and thinking "but how? wasn't he just forged?") and even showing her playful and mischievous sides.

Windblade would tag along with Bumblebee everywhere and soon she picked some social skills from HIM, copying the phrases and even gestures. After that she can interact with people on her own~

Because she would hang out with Bee a lot, they have a lot mutual friends, mostly coming from SpecialOps Department. She's good friends with Jazz, Cheetor and Blaster.

--------

Arcee is an opera singer in my continuity, yes! And shares musical background with Slipstream, a violinist from the orchestra~

(also I def wanna redo this art, bc I think I can do better with her!)

She is often playful on scene and might even come down to the orchestra and hang out near her favorite musicians as she performed. The purple and blue violinist as her absolute favorite :3

Perhaps, they can do this again in current timeline *wink wink*.

--------

While I took the inspiration from TFA, the main difference that Blackaracnea wasn't Elita-1 at beginning, she was forcibly TURNED into Elita-1 by Shockwave and his assistants during Fucntionist Era.

Shockwave always had a dream to create/reform perfect cybertronians for his purposes aka create the perfect cog for rich ppl profit and power machine, and BA was one of the victims.

But because of nature of the spark, forced changes from the outside sources (meaning changes that aren't initiated by evolving spark itself) cannot stick permanently. That means those modified parts will be rejected and fall off, while the body will restore it's original form.

Shockwave tried to many way get around this protective protocol but all his experiments (including Cold Constructs) failed.

(Which is why he's obsessed with Bumblebee rn. The minibot has mismatching alt-mode and the only living Cold Construct. He wants find out why Bumblebee functions and try to replicate it.)

BA was eventually saved by Airrazor (later they end up dating), and she brought to safety among Optimus and his team. She's is historian like him so they bonded over this, while also befriending Jazz, Prowl and Megatron, and played a major role when they fought again functionism.

She also suffered from mnemosurgery (one of the theory that sense of self and memories is what caused the system to reject changes, which was also proved false), so even after she recovered and returned to his original shape, she couldn't remember anything of her past.

So for a looong time she known as Elita-1 until Devastation Era and Windblade appeared. Windy used her telepathy to finds bits and pieces of memories, that lingered even after mnemosurgery. She helped BA to remember who she was and even her name, tho the majority was lost. Still, it's better than nothing.

Also, she's not Optimus partner in this one ( Airrazor is her conjux), while Op have a close relationship with Prowl and Jazz. Which is a mystery for everyone else, bc no one knows if they're all conjuxes or amicas and mixed? Ppl only one know that three are bonded and that's it dhbfhdbgf

#ara talks #sparkpulse au #sparkpulse lore

[bisluthq]

Hi nat, I don’t wanna sound like a hater but I’ve just been struggling sm lately bc I feel so disconnected to Taylor iykwim? Like she just seems unrecognizable and excuse the parasocialness but like idk I think I just need to separate from the fandom because I just feel she’s so different in the past year and it makes me so sad. Everything just seems somewhat staged and inauthentic. I really loved her and even considered her as my favorite person and lifesaver at some point. But that beautiful, genuine, and talented person that i thought she was is not there anymore. I really saw myself in her at some point and really believed she was a gift to this world with the happiness she brought to people and how she was unapologetically herself, from the intimate fan interactions and public vulnerability and need for privacy she showed compared to other celebrities. Especially the fact that she’s been trying so fiercely to rewrite the history of the past 7 years of her life and is doing a complete 180 on the life she said she wanted is so disheartening to watch as a long time fan. I really thought that rep - evermore Taylor was really her most authentic self but idek anymore. The person she is now is like an entirely different persona and it makes me really sad. I hope she can find herself again for her own sake but i think this is just who she is and who am I to judge that lmao? At the end of the day no person with that amount of money or fame would be relatable. Look I always have to remind myself I don’t know her obviously but I thought I had gotten a pretty good sense from following her the last 12 years. Idk honestly I’m just kinda ranting here but was wondering if anyone else felt like this lately. A lot of my irls and friends have been saying they feel the same disconnect.

Xx anon ❤️

no shade queen and I’m sorry you’re feeling sad but herein lies the problem: “I really loved her and even considered her as my favorite person and lifesaver at some point.” That’s not a fair thing to put on Taylor. She’s literally just some lady lmfao and she’s an extremely talented musician, and she’s hot, and she’s very funny, and she’s a good writer even when it comes to prose, and she’s hardworking as fuck, and she’s apparently quite kind, and she also apparently makes nice food, and she has cute handwriting. That’s all we really know about her tbh. She can’t be our fave person or our lifesaver because like we don’t know her?? It’s not fair to put that on her.

on a very minor scale when I did professional activism/politics and on an even more minor scale on this blog when it was very big like sometimes I felt like I had this responsibility to people to like idk be something for them. And I can’t lol because I’m just a girl who likes to make jokes and write and teach history and drink and recently to go rowing lol. It’s not fair to expect me to be anything other than an interesting essay (in the activism days) or a funny joke (in the blogging days). I can’t be responsible for other shit. Taylor has that on the HUGEST scale and I can imagine how stressful that is and it’s not yk fair. I personally think she’ll get bored of being this public in a bit but she’s having fun rn. She’s got a cute boyfriend and her career is doing stellar and she’s got the I cut down on alcohol glow and shit like let the lady live for a bit. She doesn’t owe us shit. And I’m not convinced she’s a different person, I think she’s just not caring if people see she’s yk who she is - not an angel, not a hermit artiste, just a girl who’s trying to vibe.

I also think for me personally I’ve enjoyed a lot of her recent music so that adds to it. I love Midnights and I love the 1989 Vault and idk I am happy to let her vibe like she doesn’t owe us shit. Far be it from me to tell you to buy her $20 teacups or whatever to sponsor her trips to KC - I don’t lol - but I think it’s deeply unfair to expect her to be your lifeline or whatever like that’s genuinely not on her.

All this said, if you’re not vibing with music or the brand rn that’s okay. Harry Potter was HUGELY important to me in my preteens and into my teens and then as it happened, it turned out that JKR was a really bad person and I reread the books genuinely for science and they weren’t that great like there was a lot there I found actively not okay so aside from how I wouldn’t publicly be a millennial Potterhead anyway probably because I’m not yk that bloody weird I actively disengaged and I asked family and friends to stop buying me Robert Galbraith books and I just like… disengaged. Never watched the cursed child, haven’t watched any of the fantastic beast movies after the first one, never bought any merch again even when it’s a bit cute, just totally cut myself off. That’s MY choice. It’s not JK’s. JK is out there vibing like as she should but I don’t have to support her and she doesn’t owe me shit lol so like yes our moral compasses unfortunately do not align and that’s just the reality so I can be all dramatic or I can just stop buying her shit lol and I’ve chosen to do the latter and I don’t have any bad feelings towards her. We just don’t agree on morals. If you don’t agree with Taylor on morals or even lifestyle that’s also fine but again that’s a you problem not a Taylor problem 🤷🏻‍♀️

hope this made sense and helped although it was rambley.

[batnsons]

okay, catching up on Ted Lasso season 3, I’m midway through 3x5 rn. Thoughts on the season so far (spoilers and LOTS of thoughts under the cut!

Sassy's right, Ted is indeed a mess and I love him so so much and I want to give him all the hugs. (I'm also mad at her for the way she handled that but I'm not surprised, we've known she's like that from day one.) I wish this man would realize that it’s okay to be hurt by things, that he’s allowed to be upset when people hurt him, and he’s allowed to defend himself. But I also greatly appreciate that he’s always trying to take the high road. Him telling Michelle he was upset with her was soooo important and I’m so so proud. We had the beginnings of another panic attack, early on, after he found out and then it was cut off by Zava, but I wish we'd gotten more of a follow up on that. Cause there had to have been some aftermath to that. Also, I've been on the Ted is Jamie's Dad wagon since almost day one and this season is giving me SO MUCH. I hope we get to see so much more of them.

JAMIE!! My sweet Angel Boy. He’s emulating Ted so much this season and it kills me. It’s so so precious. He’s growing so much, and he’s trying so hard, and he’s just!! He’s doing so good! I do wish they would address his trauma responses, though. He’s clearly still having them and I wish they would talk about it. I’m not a fan of the way they’ve had Roy be so aggressive to him without any repercussions, when Jamie is clearly reacting with trauma responses. I’m not sure if that’s a writing point or if Phil is just doing that himself but I would really like to see it addressed. (@altschmerzes and I have talked about this a lot, they’ve got their own posts on the subject too that I really enjoy.) I am, however, delighted at the way Roy has taken Jamie under his wing. He’s been the only one to notice so far that Jamie is upset about Zava (and for good reason!) And I love that.

SPEAKING OF ZAVA. I DESPISE THIS MAN. First off, he’s just WEIRD. But second, he’s a nightmare!! And Jamie’s the only one who sees it! His speech about Zava being a diva and unpleasant was really delightful. (“And I weren’t being’ Ironic, I were neon’ hypocritical”. Have I mentioned I adore Jamie?? HES BECOME SELF AWARE!) Anyway. He’s got manipulative abilities not quite up to Rupert’s standards but, they’re still pretty bad.

And now on the topic of Rupert: this fucking PRICK. He’s manipulating the hell outta Nate and it’s making me mad. He’s gaslighting him, and essentially “love bombing” him every time Nate seems to be showing remorse or regret. And it’s so interesting because you know this is exactly what he must have done to Rebecca, and is probably now doing to Bex (although she seems like she’s well aware of his tendencies and is hitting back in her own way. Those digs about him being old?? Yeah. I hope we get to see Bex and Rebecca bonding later, I want to see Rebecca helping Bex out.) He’s an absolutely brilliant manipulator and I realllly hope we see him get what’s coming to him. And I love that Nate is showing distaste for his “activities” with the assistant.

And now for Nate. I went into this season absolutely hating him (not as much as much as Rupert, but close), and now? Now I just feel bad for him. And I love that we still see bits of the old Nate coming through. He really is just being absolutely played and manipulated and his ego and pride are the only things in his way now. He’s too proud to let himself admit that he’s been wrong, especially in front of Rupert. He’s in too deep and he’s floundering and he’s only got Ted as a lifeline but he’s very nearly burned that in his lust for power and prestige. But he so desperately wants it, you can see it. I really do hope we get a redemption arc, honestly. Never thought I’d say that. But we are now seeing the crest of that wave, so to speak, where we saw Jamie at the beginning of the series. And Jamie was able to claw his way out, so shouldn’t Nate now be able to as well?? It’s really really interesting, the way we’ve seen their stories parallel each other. What we’ve seen from Nate here is what we didn’t see with Jamie: the rise of the ego and pride as a survival mechanism. So here’s hoping we get to see Nate being pulled from that riptide just like Jamie is. But he’s gotta make the decision to reach for that lifeline himself. I really hope he does.

As for everything else: I feel like Rebecca is floundering, trying to cling desperately to this idea that she has to be more successful than Rupert in order to prove to him she doesn’t need him. But she’s missing the reality that the only person she needs to prove anything to is herself. I’m so interested to see where the rest of her growth takes her. Trent I’m delighted to see more of, I love that he’s hanging around the club now. He’s so fun and a lovely outside perspective for them all. Colin has got one hell of an interesting storyline happening on the sidelines, and I’m so so curious to see where this goes. I love that Trent was given the same missing piece of information that we were given as an audience, it makes for a really interesting audience stand-in, seeing him react to the things Colin says and does knowing what we all know now as well. Makes for some really interesting storytelling. I’m a little, not sad per se but… bummed? at how little Sam content we’ve gotten so far but I think that’s remedied later so I’m not too worried about it right now. Beard and Ted are delightful as always, I’m always so thrilled by their comfortable relationship, they’re like two sides of the same coin that function so so well together. Platonic soulmates, honestly. And then there’s Michelle. I’m so mad at her. But I’m even more mad at the therapist. I’m sorry, that man’s license should be taken away. And I’m glad they straight up had someone say it was unethical out loud but I really hope they bring it up more. Because it’s so so wrong and so unethical it’s unbelievable. Michelle is less at fault for this than the therapist, for sure, but I’m still mad at her for all of it. And I’m so glad Ted told her he was upset. Because regardless of who she’s dating, Ted absolutely should’ve been consulted before she introduced a new partner to their son. Like, that shit’s not okay. At all. Add in that he was their couple’s therapist?? (Which brings into question all sorts of other things, mind you.) Nah that’s messed up and I’m so angry about it.

Tldr: so far I’m ultimately very happy with this season, the character arcs are hurting me and also giving me so much joy. Rupert is a prick as always, and Ted and Jamie are my boys.

#rey rambles #ted lasso spoilers #tl meta #ted lasso meta #tls3 #ted lasso #jamie tartt #nathan shelley #colin hughes #rebecca welton #roy kent #rey's endless list of favorite characters

[ramblingdisaster73]

hi! i saw a few of ur posts and asks lately and i hope u don't mind me popping in to kind of rant a little. i haardd agree w what you've said re: ep03 and 4x04

403 really did hurt. and i get it. i get that it comes hand in hand with the angst, and i think. i hope (?) that they'll be ok in the end bc at this point, it's getting a little bit frustrating to me. i hated the line of carlos being like 'can't let go of a bad relationship' :/ ik its probably a really poor take coming from the writers but like. with the setup, framing, and tk looking at him after he said that line. what did they want us to think. i think there's a fine line between being petty and hurtful and being a jerk. and imo if i want to put more weight into that line (i probably won't, bc i believe its meant to be more like a throwaway line that we'll collectively ignore and won't resurface again), he's leaning towards the latter. i can't imagine the patience tk has rn

i did not like that, time and time again so far, tk is just being his non-confrontational self. and i get it, with the whole 'you lash out at you loved ones in the moment of extreme anxiety and loss of control, whilst knowing that he will be there for u through it all. through all ur messiness and ur shit, it's like a lifeline that he can hold on to.' hell, i did that too. and i love this sentiment, and i think ep1 - ep3 is them trying to show us this. except before we get their reconciliation in 4x04 (hopefully), these are what we have to work with.

i also read somewhere (i'm so sorry i'd forgotten who said it) that we might get more of carlos + iris reunion rather than a carlos/tk one bc it will carry more weight for carlos' character arc, and at this stage, i hate that i can see that happening, and i don't like it. i'm just asking for any sort of carlos/tk reunion to be cathartic af, after all of what we've they've been through so far. i don't think i'm asking for much atp 🥲🥲

(prev.) if this really happens, i hope it's in the context of like, iris reassuring carlos that she's not his legal responsibility anymore, that she's more than capable of taking care of herself, and that he needs to let go of the unfounded guilt that he's carrying towards this whole mess (ik this is controversial, but i would argue that iris carries equal responsibility as well and i blame carlos as much as i do iris, she could've reached out too, but i won't be getting into that), so that he can truly move on with tk. a clean slate, if u will. i won't be able to accept anything else.

i just. my god. i love tk. i want to give him a little hug. it's genuinely really painful to watch him in these 3 eps. i have no hope that it will ever be addressed. can u tell i just really need more tk/carlos scenes atp bc i do i miss them being a team and i don't like it when there's tension that we can never get closure too. i don't want to expect anything for 404 except that it'll probably be disappointing, just so i won't be let down again.

also as like a little sidenote, i saw the 100 in your bio and omg i was there (!!!!!) doesn't this (e.g. tim's post, ro and rafa's interviews) all feel like jrat + the 100 cast mess all over again. bc i see it. i'm not sure if you're aware of it back then, but it was like a whole mess between the cast and jrat and they had to keep defending his writing and lmaoooooooo history repeating itself over at ls here i see i see

i'm so sorry its so long. it got away from me. thank u for reading through all that tho if u did 😭 have a nice day/night!

This storyline has definitely ruffled feathers, a lot of them for a lot of people. The way they are only revealing bits at a time through this 4 episode arc is slowly driving us all insane – especially those of us that were not blessed with any sort of patience (that’s me, I have none) and want to know everything right now.

Just like 3x13 had some painful to watch scenes, so did 4x03 – but watching Ronen & Rafa this season has been a real gift – we care so much about these characters in large part because we know how much Ronen & Rafa love their characters, how much they respect the relationship that they are portraying, combined with their natural chemistry, makes Carlos & TK such a compelling people – as both individuals & as a couple.

-The first couple of seasons, we got glimpses of Carlos’ flaws, but they weren’t as obvious or as loud as TK’s, so many people just over looked them, some to the point where they don’t believe that he can do any wrong or that pretty people should always be forgiven because they are pretty.

*For this particular storyline – They had to pretty much exaggerate his negative traits: Control freak, self-blame, avoidance to the point of lies by omission, and his compartmentalization in order to have him learn more about himself (I think) If they had just kept him as he was in 3x13 with the petty chicken dinner, then we wouldn’t really be able to see him learn anything – it would just have been a continuation of his avoidance, without long term consequences.

– his traits/flaws had to be so in our faces, so that when he loses all of that – all control, all ability to compartmentalize, can’t lie to even himself anymore – we are feeling it with him, feeling him learn that this isn’t a healthy way for him to live.

*I have no clue what their intention for the bad relationship line was – but I do think it missed whatever the goal was since none of us can decide on the meaning. I am currently going with it is part of how they are exaggerating his traits (his pettiness in this case) to show how much out of the ordinary this whole situation is for him. I do think he is filled with so much guilt over Iris, that it almost froze him where she was concerned, especially since TK came into his life – and he realized that he could have something real. -thinking about it this way does make it more tolerable, at least it does for me.

*There is a fine line between petty and jerk, Carlos has been walking it like a tight rope since the minute that venue called, probably since the morning after he realized that he hadn’t dreamed up TK proposing. I think that the show is finally letting us see his other sides, we are seeing him start to unravel a little – he doesn’t know how to deal with it – THERAPY WOULD BE MY SUGGESTION, SIR! – so much damn therapy.

I am loving TK (& Ronen) this season – that man can say a lot with his eyes – especially when the script doesn’t give him words. I do think that part of his lack of an emotional response, isn’t that he doesn’t have feelings about what is going on (Carlos being married), but he sees how fucked up Carlos is over the whole thing – he knows that if he freaks out too, then everything will get worse – this time, even though shit is hard, the last thing he wants to do is run away or blow things up – and honestly, I love it. And I have written quite a few fics so far that have really helped me deal with the emotions that this storyline brought up.

*I do not think that there will be a whole lot of bottled up TK in 4x04 – I think he will be a fiery tornado with one goal in mind – as Ronen has said, we are going to see a different side to TK this season. I think part of that might be the way he processes his emotions/thoughts (plus he has a whole fandom to be mad on his behalf) – I don’t think TK will ever just roll over and let anyone (Carlos included) walk all over him - he has just learned to pick his battles, support his fiancé over himself when needed.

*I can’t wait for feral TK

I did say something along the lines of Carlos more important reunion would be with Iris over TK – to be honest though, I doubt we see a real reunion between Iris & Carlos at this point – BUT, my reasons for thinking that were what you said – that she might be the one that gets through to him that people are stronger and more capable than he gives them credit for – Both her and TK – as well as Carlos.

*We will get some type of emotional reunion between TK & Carlos on screen – I think that Tim loves to pull things apart – but he does it because he loves putting them back together. Someone pointed out that each episode has shown us another aspect of the Tarlos relationship – The understanding from TK in 4x01, the unit that they are in 4x02, what friction and stress can cause in 4x03. I think 4x04 will be another aspect to see.

-I am leaning that the bulk of the ep will be them separated – Carlos being held captive, torture & TK will be realizing he is missing/searching for him. I am also thinking that the amount of time on screen that they will be together will be similar to Push 3x04 – An emotional reunion (like at the hospital when TK woke up), then a domestic like scene (like the initial Tarloft scene), ending with some type of group scene (like the reopening of the 126) – obviously, I could be wrong – but that is how I am leaning as of now.

TARLOS IS ENDGAME & ALL ROADS LEAD TO THE WEDDING – is my mantra and I repeat it as necessary in times of need.

I also love TK, he is also probably the one I can relate to the most, so that helps (or not, depending on how you look at it). That mean needs all the hugs, he takes everything on himself (kinda like his fiancé), and wants everyone to be happy. I can’t get over how blessed we are with the cast that plays these amazing characters – they don’t feel like one dimensional characters – they feel real – this is why we care so much.

I think the difference between Tim & J Roth is that Tim is supporting his work & his cast/characters while J Roth killed off characters if his cast member needed time off for a medical/mental health issue or has a disagreement. I got lucky with the 100, my ship made it to the end, even if they were the ship with one of the smallest fanbases (sorry, I am a total Mackson fan – they are what brought me to tumblr & Ao3 in the first place), so I didn’t hate J Roth for the shit writing in Season 7 (also, don’t hate season 7 – see my ship for why 7x14 was a total gift for me)

*I really can’t see Tim treating any of this cast like J Roth did Ricky & Bob

*Tim will fuck with us though – and since he gives us such beautiful scenes (even the hard ones), I will forgive him. While he loves to tear our hearts out, he is sure to let us know that he will let these characters put them back in place. He knows that we love them, but he does deserve to be protective of his work (even when we don’t agree with him).

I enjoy reading people’s thoughts, adding my own, and welcome people sending me asks/their thoughts!                                                                   

#anon #911 lone star season 4 #911 lone star spoilers #911 lone star speculation #The 100 #Tarlos #Carlos Reyes #TK Strand #Tim Minear #J Roth

[lilyminer]

My pintrest is showing me a bunch of crime boys fanart rn and I’m slowly being converted. Anyways y’all wanna hear a sad headcanon?

Tw mentions of suicide and abuse

-•-

Tommy has always been the one comforting Wilbur. When Wilburs mental health first started to decline he had no one to turn to who still cared about him and trusted him. . . except for Tommy. Of course Wilbur knew how horrible of a situation it was, he tried to push Tommy away when he attempted to help, but all that did was worry him more. When he started losing touch with reality, and walling himself in so to speak, he didn’t think he would’ve made it out without Tommy. And despite his best efforts eventually Tommy being his lifeline felt normal.

Behind the familiar feelings of betrayal and anger he felt as Tommy began to cut him off, there was also a feeling of pride. Even as he slipped into a darker and darker state of mind without Tommy, he couldn’t help feeling a bit happy that he at least wasn’t dragging Tommy down with him now.

The way Tommy began clinging to him again upon his revival scared him even more. Before he’d felt like a burden but now simply being there felt like it was keeping Tommy from living his own life like he deserved. The worst of it came after Tommy confided in him about his experiences in exile. Wilbur was torn between feeling like a weight holding Tommy back, and a shield keeping him from being so terribly hurt by their cruel and unjust world. He could have stopped all of that suffering, he knew he could. But what would’ve become of Tommy if he was left with him instead of Dream? Would it be better? He hoped. But he had already come to terms with the fact his own treatment of Tommy had been horribly unhealthy and abusive at times.

There was so much to take in, to contemplate, and to feel. And naturally, Tommy noticed that. But the worst part of all, the part which made him feel like the monster he always knew he was, is that Tommy yet again reached out to support him. After talking about the horrible abuse he suffered, something Wilbur could have prevented, Tommy was not mad at him. He did not confront him, nor did he even request some form of comfort for himself. That selfless, pure-hearted, wonderful child reached for his hand and asked if he was ok!?

Wilbur rejected it of course, he was not the fool he once was. He comforted Tommy. The kid he was blessed to have known. That he would never deserve to have known, called a colleague, friend, brother. And Tommy didn’t deserve to have to deal with the absolute garbage fire of a human being known as Wilbur Soot anymore. That was the moment he decided he had to leave, and so the planning begun.

#tw abuse #tw suicide #cw abuse #cw suicide #mcyt #dream smp #dsmp #mcyt headcanons #dsmp headcanons #crime boys headcanons #crime boys #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #cTommy #cwilbur soot #mcyt tommyinnit #mcyt wilbur soot #headcanon #sad headcanon #angst #angsty dsmp headcanon #sad dsmp headcanon

[missluckycharms]

can you do a imagine where y/n plays volleyball and she gets hurt and h take care of her?

A/N: hiii! I hope you like this! I also had to look up some details about volleyball as it’s not really that commonly played here in Ireland, if I say something wrong pls ignore it I tried my best. The vaccine is kicking my ass rn, I got my second dose so if this sucks and there’s mistakes pls ignore that also 😭 Enjoy !!

This is college!Harry and Y/N I hope you don’t mind !!

Warnings: talks of smut, strong language and Harry being a sarcastic loveable asshole.

Today was not Y/N day.

First of all, she woke up late, giving her only twenty minutes to get ready and make her way to college, which is usually a thirty minute drive without traffic. She was like a lightening bolt running through her apartment, falling over Harry’s shoes that were just abandoned around her room and trying to find any clean clothes as Harry came over last night and as usual, he distracted her from doing what she needed to do, which was her laundry.

He was asleep while she did all this, her small huffs and puffs picking up his shoes and throwing them into the corner didn’t even cause the lazy log in the bed to move once, his body tucked up under the covers as his face smushed against her purple sheets as he let out small snores, she looked at him and silently wished that was her. She was lucky she packed her gym bag last night before he arrived over, all of her clothes, her ankle braces, her knee pads and her favourite trainers she wears for games all packed into her bag and all she needed to do was pick it up and throw it into the trunk of her car along with her book bag.

She kissed Harry’s forehead and again, he did not even move, he may of given out a slight hum for a grumbled word but Y/N didn’t have time to contemplate what he said, she was rushing out the door wearing clothes that were probably Harry’s as the joggers were nearly falling off her as she ran. She didn’t care though, she needed to be in her first lecture or her grades would go down. She made it to campus with only thirty seconds to spare, she doesn’t know how she wasn’t pulled over for driving faster than the speed limit when she saw the campus come into view. Her body ran through the halls, dodging anyone in her way as she dragged herself to the lecture hall where her professor was probably already starting lesson, his usual morning introduction as everyone set up their laptops or notepads for the hour lecture ahead.

She got a disapproving look from her professor when she slide into a row, flopping down onto the seat and apologising as she rummaged through her bag looking for her laptop. Her professor was already going over what they would be covering today when she realised she doesn’t have her laptop. Then she remembered where it is, it’s in her apartment in the bathroom.

Harry insisted they had a bath last night to relax her after she took some exams in college that day, the pair were soaked under the bubble filled hot water with her laptop propped up on the sink playing a show on Netflix as they relaxed and spoke about their day. She grabbed her notebook and pen and immediately began to scribble down the notes she would have to transfer onto her laptop tonight, if Harry doesn’t distract her again. She knows he might not, he has classes of his own today, his starting later than hers and his classes only being on four days a week instead of five like Y/N, yesterday was his day off, hence why he was being a needy little shit and clinging to Y/N like his lifeline until they fell asleep.

The day dragged out for Y/N, her usual one hour classes feeling like four hours, her notes taking for ages to write up as she tried to keep up with what was being displayed on the board, her lunchtime consisting of her bumming off her friend for a few dollars to get something to eat as she left her purse at home, her friend didn’t mind but she felt awful for asking. When the day finally ended she was relieved, all she wanted to do was get into the gymnasium and play some volleyball with her team to get all the anger she felt today, she was not having a good day and the only things that can help her with that is Harry or volleyball, and because she had training today over their at home game being played next week, she was relieved she could get some stress reliving in before going back to her place where she knows Harry will be — he hates his own apartment as he shares, Y/N only having a one bedroom one that she snagged and Harry being left with a flat thats shared between four people, there’s no privacy there, none.

“You’ve been tense all day, is everything okay?” Abbie, Y/N best friend asks as they begin their warm ups, the two sat on the floor side by side as the stretch their legs and arms getting warmed up for practice.

“Today wasn’t my day, woke up late, forgot my laptop and purse and now I have to go home and type up nearly fifty pages of notes onto my laptop — Who’s idea was it for me to study Biochemistry?” She laughs out, stretching her arms behind her head as Abbie follows suit, the pair watching as the coach shows them what to do, the pair sat at the back to avoid being yelled at for talking.

“I think that was your idea, I certainly didn’t force you to do that. If it helps, environmental studies isn’t easier, I swear I’m constantly writing up lab reports and giving presentations each week” Abbie rolls her eyes, the pair now doing lunges as they continue to chat.

“Shit! I have a presentation next week, I totally forgot” Y/N groans, squeezing her eyes in frustration as she hasn’t even started yet, her mind immediately going to how she has to type up the whole presentation while probably having Harry hang out of her. Harry is studying sports science, in hopes to one day set up his own personal training business. They usually have study sessions together as Harry has just as much work as Y/N, but Harry isn’t as much as a perfectionist as Y/N, he’ll slap together a presentation and call it a night while she has to make it look pretty and aesthetically pleasing.

After a fifteen minute warm up, the girls are already playing a mini match for practice, six players per team, Y/N being up nearest to the net with three other girls. She’s been named as one of the teams best scorers, her jumps are high and her force hitting the ball is something that scares opposing teams when they play competitions. She’s been on the college team for nearly two years now, her whole college course is five years long — she’s aiming for a bachelors degree in Biochemistry, she’s so happy she has something else to do while in here, she knows she would of went crazy if she didn’t have something to calm her down.

They play three games, Y/N’s team wining the first game and the teams tying on the last game due to the positions being switched and she was put to the back to give other players the chance to spike the ball up. She’s back up front on the third game, her body now rested from the small water break they were given in between the games, her body full of adrenaline and ready to play. The game is playing out as usual, Y/N jumping and spiking the ball up and over the net with the help of her team mates, the other team just as good as them as they all battle it out on the court. In the last two minutes is when it all goes downhill, Y/N jumps up to spike the ball, when she lands, she wobbles and falls over, her ankle rolling as she cries out in pain on the court, the coach blowing the whistle to stop the game as everyone rushes around her.

She tries to stand up, she falls back down again, Abbie and another girl holding her up as she shuts her eyes in pain. The coach takes off her ankle brace and sock with her permission, she’s now sitting on the bench as her ankle is iced and checked over by the coach, Abbie helping Y/N by refilling her water bottle when needed, her ankle now propped up on a chair with ice on it as the rest of the team begins their warm downs.

“It’s definitely sprained” Abbie says looking under the ice at her ankle, Y/N wincing when Abbie presses down lightly, jumping when she lets out a small cry.

“Yep, definitely sprained” she says putting the ice back on and sitting down next to her friend as they both laugh a little, the pain easing off with the ice as Abbie distracts her with stories and jokes.

“Y/N, do you have anyone to take you home?” The coach asks, allowing the rest to leave as Abbie stays seated with Y/N.

“I’ll call my boyfriend, thank you for your help” she says as the coach pats her on the back, telling her she can take all the time she needs off while also still being allowed to attend the games to support. She’s devastated about it, but at least she can support her team from the sidelines.

“What happened?” Harry asks running out of his car, the door slamming as Abbie wheels Y/N out in wheelchair given to them by the coach from the injury room.

“Fucked my ankle, doesn’t surprise me honestly, today wasn’t a good day” she sighs s Harry laughs a little, helping her out of the wheelchair and guiding her towards his car that’s parked only three steps away.

“You’re okay now, let’s get you home and rested, yeah?” He says laying her down on the back seat, picking her leg up and resting it on the seat as she winches in pain a little as she adjusts herself on the seat.

“Thanks for all your help, I’ll have Niall come and pick her car up later” Harry says to Abbie, closing the back door and smiling at the girl who’s waving in at her best friend who’s mortified in the back of the car, laughing masking the pain she’s feeling.

“If you both need anything give me a call” she says as Harry nods waving her off as he sits into the car, turning around to look at his girlfriend who’s looking back at him holding in her laugh.

“Only you” he shakes his head laughing as Y/N lets out a loud cackle, knowing he’s right, only her would end up fucking up her ankle even with a brace on it, it’s defiantly a Y/N thing to do.

The car ride home is filled with laughing and a few sing songs as Harry tries to distract her from the pain. He helps her into her apartment by carrying her bridal style up the flight of stairs and placing her down onto the sofa, propping her leg up on the coffee table, raising her ankle up on a pillow as he races to the freezer to find something to put on the injury.

“Okay, all you’ve got is frozen peas” he says placing the green packet down onto her ankle, the picture of peas hilarious as it rests on her skin, the swelling gone down since the gymnasium which is good, as Harry says.

“I’ll run to the store to get you some bandages soon, right now, you need some tea, the sugar will help with the shock you got” he says immediately snapping into Mum mode with her, Y/N smiling at Harry in the kitchen behind her, her head turning and resting on the back of the sofa as she watches him saunter around her kitchen.

“Do you have any homework you need completing? I got all mine done in library period we had today, I’m free to do yours if you have any” he says fiddling with the kettle and switching it on, placing a tea bag into her favourite purple polka dot mug.

“I have to transfer handwritten notes onto my laptop, I can do that” she says as Harry turns around, waiting for the kettle to boil as he looks at her.

“Nope, I’m doing that for you, you need rest! I’m here to help you, I’ll be your nurse” he says turning back around to pour the boiling water into the mug.

“I’m fine Harry, it’s just a small sprain” she fights back, Harry shaking his head as he walks in with her mug filled with warm tea, passing it to her as he sits next to her wrapping his arm around the back of the sofa.

“I’m not leaving you here alone, if you fall what will you do? Get up and walk?” He says sarcastically as she rolls her eyes laughing, resting her head back on his arm as they begin watching the TV before them.

“Also, I expect the same in return if I ever get hurt” he jokes as she slaps his arm playfully, laughing loudly as Harry wiggles his eyebrows at her.

“You’re on top for the next few weeks Styles” she says sipping on her tea as Harry laughs, reaching over to kiss her check.

“I’m always on top, darling” he whispers to her as she pulls back looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Babe, please can you be on top? I had a leg cramp this morning and it might come back” she says lowly, imitating Harry and his deep British accent as he looks at her rolling his eyes.

“I don’t sound like that” he says taking her mug from her and sipping a little from her tea as she takes it back off him with a loud groan at what he just did — he always does it to annoy her, or he’ll dip some biscuits into her tea when she’s not looking.

“Oh yeah, must be what my other boyfriend sounds like” she says riling him up, his head turning to her as she looks at the TV screen laughing behind the rim of her mug.

“You’re lucky you’re injured m’love, if you weren’t you would be over my shoulder and thrown down onto your bed and I’d show you who’s your boyfriend, or daddy as you like” he says wiggling his eyebrows as she groans into her tea.

“It was one time! I said it by accident!” She shouts, turning bright red as Harry laughs loudly, kissing her cheek as she pouts looking down at her mug.

“You know I liked it, it’s okay baby” he says resting her head on his shoulder as she cuddles into him, her empty mug on her lap as she pulls the blanket down from the back of the sofa, placing her empty mug on the floor and throwing the blanket over them both.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you” she says feeling sleepy, her day catching up on her as Harry helps her nurse her injury, his hands fixing the frozen peas on her ankle if they move a little.

“You’d probably break your neck or something” Harry says as she groans looking up at him, his dimples popping out as he laughs at his own joke.

“I’m being nice!” She says as he bends down to peck her lips, their smiles against one another lips as they pull away looking at one another.

“I know m’baby, I don’t know what you’d do without me either!” He says sighing in contentment as she rolls her eyes squishing her face into his chest.

“Harry!”

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harry styles au #harry styles one shot #harry styles fandom #answered asks #anon ask #harry styles fluff #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic #harry styles prompts #harry styles blurb #writing #imagine

[zachsreaderinserts]

dream, sapnap, and c!technoblade x abused! reader

what better way to unpack my twauma then by making it into a headcannons list? i’ll see myself out

wc: 1,146

DREAM

this motherfucker right here, your honor, will go absolutely batshit insane

how fucking dare someone hurt you? like, to him, you’re his world and then some. the idea of someone hurting you physically, mentally, or any kind of -ly, will make him go feral

of course, he’ll keep it in at first. if you came to him with this around the start of the relationship, he’ll respect that boundary. he doesn’t want to scare you away, after all

if you’re anything like me, you’ll probably be in tears telling him this. reliving something so traumatic and horrible, something so painful, is hard to do and retelling it would always make you cry, no matter how long ago it happened

seeing this, dream would probably grab you and hold you close, tucking your head into his chest. he can’t say he’s the best at comforting people, but he really does try. he would rub your back and whisper words of encouragement

it didn’t really click until one time when you two were playing minecraft on your shared console together. you had just successfully beaten the wither in your survival world and dream decided it would be sick to high five you.

turning in your direction, he raised a hand and watched in horror as you sucked in a sharp breath and flinched away from him.

he dropped his hand instantly and backed up a little, face struck with disbelief. someone had hurt you that way. someone hit you and made you scared of simple hand movements.

it took him all but three seconds to be on top of you, apologizing at a rapid fire speed while cradling your face. he peppered kisses like it was his lifeline and made sure that when he was done, not a hint of fear was in your expression.

he may not be able to comprehend it at first, but once he does, he will make sure every moment is dedicated to showing you that he would never treat you like that.

and if he finds out who your old s/o was? lets just say that we’re gonna have a glimpse of smp!dream irl

SAPNAP

baby boy. the man, big teddy hunky himbo guy, will also get extremely pissed. unlike dream, he would express it outwardly.

he has a huge sense of loyalty to people who treat him great. you’re dating him, therefore he feels the need to find your ex and carve out the alphabet on their body with a knife.

he won’t do it, for obvious legal reasons, so he settles for aggressively making sure that you know you’re loveable. hugs, kisses on the face, kisses on the neck. sex. the whole nine yards.

he’s not one for using his words, bc his actions speak louder, so he settles for a tight squeeze of a hug after you told him what you’ve gone through. it’s what he feels like is the best thing he can do for you.

one morning, you’re feeling particularly sluggish and such. you’re busy making your breakfast of choice when sapnap walks in. he seems like a morning person, so the mans is bubbly.

he goes to mess up your hair but stops himself short when you practically bash your head into the cabinet to get away from him. out of instinct, an “i’m sorry” spills from your lips and you look close to tears as you say it.

he just stands there, brain catching up and making the connection between what you told him and your knee jerk reaction to a hand reaching out to you. and for a second, he looks furious.

not at you! never at you, no, no, no. he’s furious at your past ex and how much of a douchebag they were. how evil they had to be to be able to do something like this and make you terrified of friendly gestures

so sappigus grabs your wrist gently and tugs you until you arms length away from one another. instead of a kiss or a hug, he stares into your eyes and with a serious tone of voice, says

“i will never let anyone else hurt you like how they did. i promise.”

im tearing up just thinking about this BITCH WHERE IS MY FUCKING WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT--

sapnap feels your pain and will never go a day without reminding you of how much he is willing to do to ensure your safety. he will go into every day saying that he loves you and ends every night with a hug or railing the fuck out of you. your choice.

C! TECHNOBLADE

blood man. blood god. e man. e boy? e. yeah, he’ll kill something. 100% after you’ve told him, he’ll probably need a place to go take his anger out. that cow farm near l’manberg looking mighty sexy rn--

we all know that techno is probably one of the most loyal bitches in the smp. he has an unofficial claim over the people he loves and you’re included in that.

so the idea of someone meeting you before him and having the absolute gall to beat you like you mean nothing infuriates him.

whenever he’s cooled down, he’ll come back (covered in cow blood probably--) and will pull you into his lap and sit there, hunched over you as if he were protecting you from the world.

and you’d probably appreciate it, nuzzling back into his body. you feel safe in his arms and he feels safe knowing that you’re in his arms.

techno and you typically make potions together in your free time. you both just like to stare at the shimmery liquids and swirl them around. while he’s working on a potion of strength, he realizes that you have the blaze powder in front of you but you’re not longer using it.

when he reached over, all you could comprehend was that there was something moving near your face that slightly resembled a hand, and you just panic. you let out a small yelp-like sound and darted you head backwards, looking over frantically.

techno and you just stare at one another, your expression quickly morphing from fear to guilt at how horrified he looked. techno moved quickly and shoved aside the potion you were working on and kneeled in front of you.

the voices were going rapid fire in his brain as he pulled you into a hug and tucked your head into his neck, grounding you and reminding you that you’re fine. everything’s okay now that he’s here.

“i will never leave you if you want me to stay.”

he’d pull back and plant a kiss on your lips quickly before his smile turned a little less sweet and a little more murderous.

“so, what was your ex’s name again?”

there’s no cars in minecraft but you bet your ass he will somehow commit vehicular manslaughter.

#x reader #reader insert #mcyt x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #sapnap x reader #technoblade x reader #dreamsmp x reader #c!techno #c!technoblade x reader #tw: abuse #abused! reader

[rose2jam]

Why It Was Practically Inevitable That Severus Snape Would Join A Cult, an essay by Rose Jam

So, let’s talk about Cults. Disclaimer: This is just information I’ve gathered over the years from my personal fascination with religious cults.  I’m in no way an expert or a psychologist or whatever.  This is just my personal understanding from the research I’ve done.

A cult is started when a wildly charismatic Leader feels like they have a purpose, a higher calling, or a mission to be fulfilled (or they could also just be an egomaniac). Maybe they really do feel like what makes them special comes directly from a higher power, be that God, or the Heir of Slytherin, but either way, this person has a pathological need to be worshiped, and they need followers in order to do that.  

So, how does one obtain Followers easily? By finding the misunderstood misfits of society, and promising them something.  The people who feel like no one else understands them, or their ideologies.  But this Leader?  This Leader GETS IT, MAN! The Leader understands them perfectly, vindicates them, and makes them promises along the way.  Like, if they stick with the Leader, then not only will they finally be understood, but they themselves will also be revered.  That they will rise above all of the others who have put them down for so long, and will come out on top as a superior being.  

Any of this sounding familiar?

Charles Manson preyed on young people in the middle of the hippie movement, mostly women, who were feeling lost, lonely, and in need of guidance, or in terms of the men he recruited, seeking power over others.  Not all of these people were poor or helpless; some of them came from middle class, or even rich homes and families.  Yes, some of them came from broken homes, but all of them felt “broken” themselves, in some way. So Manson used their desires to have a family to draw them in.  He then used LSD and other drugs to keep them under his control, and he created a manipulative environment where the members of his “family” felt they could never leave him, and if they didn’t follow his commands, something horrible would happen to them.  I’m not going to go into full detail on the Manson Family Murders, but if you’re personally interested, check out the Podcast “Cults” on Spotify.

So back to basics, this Leader draws in Followers with flowery promises of community, power, family, or whatever.  But once the Leader has that following, the terror will begin.  Cult Leaders are usually master manipulators, and have completely brainwashed their followers into believing the “us vs them” mentality, that the outside world is evil, that the outside world will only harm them, that the outside world would never understand what they’re doing on the inside.  And that the Leader is the only one who knows the truth, so they better stick with him.  Or maybe the Leader has gaslit his followers so completely, that they become dependent on him for everything, to the point where they don’t know how they would possibly function without the Leader.  Or, the Leader has created an environment that’s so hostile, that Followers are too afraid of what might happen to them if they tried to leave, or didn’t do what the Leader commanded.  Typically, it’s a combination of all of the above.  Destructive cults will either hurt others outside of their circle (The Manson Family, Sect of Nacozari), harm themselves (Heaven’s Gate, The Ant Hill Kids), or both (The People’s Temple, Aum Sinrikyo).  

Now that I’ve laid this foundation, I’m going to tell you why it was practically inevitable that Severus Snape would join a cult.

Snape’s childhood ultimately laid the foundation for the mental state he would be in when he decided to join the Death Eaters.  He grew up in an abusive household, where his father, the muggle, had his magical wife so thoroughly whipped, that she couldn’t (or chose not to) use magic to defend herself, or her son (1).  Eileen had obviously told Severus about magic, about Hogwarts, about what a wonderful place it was, and what a wonderful gift magic could be.  Severus also watched as Tobias beat the magic out of her.  (I know it’s debated whether Tobias actually physically abused his family, but he certainly verbally/mentally/emotionally abused them, so the term “beat” could be used figuratively as well).  I don’t think it’s unreasonable to believe that Severus developed an extreme hatred of muggles with “burn the witch” mentalities from a very young age because of this.

Enter Lily, perhaps the only other magical person in his life besides his mother up to this point. He sees her using magic out in the open, perhaps recklessly, for fun, and he sees an opportunity to make a friend (and, admittedly, to be smarter than someone about something for a while). He was so eager to tell her all about magic, because getting to learn magic, and go to Hogwarts, has possibly been the only thing keeping him going in his young life.  And now he’s made a friend, a real friend who doesn’t think he’s weird because he’s magical.  Unlike Petunia, yet another muggle who makes fun of him for being weird (2). And Lily actually seems to like him back.  For a kid who probably hasn’t received a lot of affection in his life, this is monumental.  This friendship is everything.  Why wouldn’t he love her?

So the time finally comes to go to Hogwarts.  Severus gets to escape his abusive household, and finally has an opportunity to embrace magic for the first time in his life.  But almost immediately, he’s met with a hic-up.  Specifically, James Potter and Sirius Black.  So Severus is no longer facing abuse exclusively from muggles who think he’s weird, but now he’s also getting it from other magical people who think he’s weird (3).  And this started on the fucking TRAIN before he even GOT to Hogwarts. You can’t tell me that wouldn’t sour a kids dream right off the fucking bat.  And then, when he finally gets there, he’s separated from his only friend, by being sorted into different houses (4).  What a way for a life-long dream to be thoroughly dashed in less than 24 hours.

Let’s look at Snape’s Hogwarts experience.  He’s a good student, and he pours himself into learning as much magic as possible, and at being the best he can possibly be, probably motivated by a desire to be better than what his Father thinks possible.  During this time, he is regularly bullied and abused by the Marauders. Sometime before his 5th year, the Incident at the Shrieking Shack took place.  It definitely sucks to have been so thoroughly fucking duped, and put into a life-threatening situation involving a goddamn werewolf (5).  But perhaps even worse than that, the salt in the wound, was that no one fucking did anything about it (6).  He saw Sirius and James and Remus get out of that situation without facing any sort of proper punishment (as in, they all still stayed at the school as opposed to being expelled like they DEFINITELY SHOULD HAVE BEEN (At least Sirius should have been)). Dumbledore was looking out for the Marauders, but no one was looking out for Severus.  On top of that, Severus isn’t allowed to TELL anyone about it, not even Lily.  So, he goes through what was possibly one of the most traumatic experiences of his life, and he can’t even tell anyone that it happened.

So, what sort of support system does Severus have during all this?  He has Lily, sure (who literally told him he should be GRATEFUL to James, one of his abusers).  But, what he really has, is Slytherin House (7). I’ll say it plainly: Severus was sorted into a house that was already full of existing cult members.  McGonagall says in Sorcerer’s Stone that “Your house will be like your family” (she at least says it in the movies, I’m too lazy to get up and reference my books rn lol).  So, Severus’ family, his support system, for 10 months out of every year, is a house that is already full to the brim with pureblood elitists with prejudiced ideals, who would absolutely vindicate Severus in his dislike for muggles.  As a kid first getting sorted into the house, it’s obviously not unreasonable to become friends with the people you’re literally living with.  His dorm mates became his family.  So, when his dorm mates started to become Death Eaters… This is headcanon, I fully admit, but like, fuck, Severus didn’t have a lot of friends, and was probably already drifting apart from Lily.  Do you really think he was going to tell the people he had to live with every single day, not to mention the only people that had been supporting him for years, to go fuck themselves for using Dark Magic?  Especially when he was probably feeling like he was on the verge of thinking that their rhetoric made some sense?

On to Snape’s Worst Memory (8).  At this point, he’s spent 5 years in Slytherin House, with fellow students who casually throw around the M word.  He gets attacked by James and Sirius, he’s practically defenseless, and then the girl who he’d considered his closest friend for so long… has to force herself not to smile when he’s thrown upside down and exposed to everyone on the grounds.  Sure, she was trying to defend him at first, but she also fucking nearly smiled at his humiliation, his pain, his abuse.  So he hurls the one word that he knows is going to cut the deepest, that will hopefully hurt her as badly as she has hurt him. And it works.

Severus had been beaten down his entire life.  By Muggles and Magic Folk alike.  And finally, he’s betrayed by Lily, his last lifeline to the light.  He betrayed her as well, of course.  But he did try to show remorse.  And she doesn’t forgive him (9), which was her prerogative, of course.  

So.  Who does he have left?

I’ve placed little (numbers) throughout my writing here.  Each of those numbers denote the specific events that led Severus to becoming an angry young man, who hates muggles, hates (some) magic folk, and resulted in him feeling weak, helpless, and desperate.  For what?  For power, for a family, for a community.  For a world where he is no longer the weird one.  For a world where he’s respected, strong.  For the world he thought he was going to be a part of, when he arrived at Hogwarts in his first year.

And it just so happens that this is the exact world that Voldemort is (allegedly) trying to create.

Severus Snape was angry, and vulnerable, and as such, he was practically the poster child for the type of person who would be susceptible to falling for a cult.  Maybe he was recruited by his friends in Slytherin House.  Maybe he was recruited directly.  Either way, charismatic Tom Riddle came along, understood how he felt, where he was coming from, told him he deserved better, and offered him all of the things he never had in his life.  And being at rock bottom, being the lowest of the low, to Severus it must have seemed like a miracle of an opportunity, or perhaps, like the only chance he had left.

Now, let me be extremely clear; everything I’ve written is not trying to EXCUSE Severus Snape for his actions.  There is always a point where personal responsibility must come into play.  Except for children born into cults or victims of kidnapping, nearly every person who has ever joined a cult has made the personal decision to join it. I’m just trying to express how unbelievably easy it is, for a Cult Leader to find people with damaged lives and low self-worth, to suck them in with promises of a fulfilling life and grandeur, and for those people to be easily swept up and brainwashed into believing that what they are doing is right.  (Or that what they are doing is required, because the alternative is more horrifying.)  

The type of people who joined the Death Eaters are the same type of people who joined Heaven’s Gate, or The People’s Temple, or yes, The Manson Family.  Now, I’m just going to say, from my own personal point of view, I do not vilify anyone who’s ever joined a destructive cult.  On the contrary, I feel sorry for them.  Because most people who join a cult, don’t necessarily do it signing up for the… end result of what happened to them.  Some of them totally do, like Heaven’s Gate. Most of them knew that the end result was going to be the “evacuation of their earthly vessel”.  But the people who joined the Manson Family, for instance, did not initially join it KNOWING how it was going to end.  They were part of the family long before Manson even came up with Helter Skelter, and by the time the Tate-LaBianca Murders took place, they were already too far gone to go against it.

I highly recommend anyone who’s interested in a humanizing view of former cult members, to read the essay “Leslie Van Houten: A Friendship” by John Waters. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/leslie-van-houten-a-frien_b_246953

Or, at the very least, listen to this 7 minute NPR interview with John Waters about the essay https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=111585116

It’s the story of how notorious film maker John Waters, became friends with former Manson Girl, Leslie Van Houten, and about how she broke away from the cult after her conviction, how she’s spent the last 51 years of her life recovering from the psychotic influence of a maniac who’d promised her the world, and how even though she was convicted to life WITH a possibility of parole, it’s never been granted to her, despite the fact that she has done literally everything possible to try and atone for her crimes.

Maybe I’m just a bleeding heart.  I’m pretty much the only person I know who feels sorry for Leslie Van Houten and other cult members who were brainwashed, abused, and manipulated into doing a lot of the horrible things they’ve done.  But there are people in the world, who have committed FAR more heinous crimes than the Manson Family murders, and who are far less repentant than Leslie, but because those crimes weren’t as notorious, they get to walk free.

Addendum: When I first posted this, I had a few people point out to me that they had always associated Voldemort and the Death Eaters with Hitler and Nazi Germany.  This is a perfectly fair point, but one that I personally don’t jive with, and the reason is simply the numbers.   There were literally millions of people in the Nazi party during WW2.   Death Eaters don’t even reach triple digits, as far as I’m aware.  As I hinted at in this essay, I consider Voldemort and the Death Eaters to be MUCH closer to Charles Manson and the Manson Family.  The Manson Family 100% had Nazi ideology, of course. "Helter Skelter” was Charles Manson’s prediction that there was going to be a massive race war; one that the Whites were going to lose, and that he and his Pure White family would emerge from it in order to rule over the remaining Blacks.  Kinda... sounds like a Death Eater thing, huh?

Sorry.  Back to Snape.  There is a lot we don’t know about Severus’ actual time as a Death Eater. I think it can be reasonably assumed he’s never actually killed anyone before Dumbledore (In Prince’s Tale, Severus questions if his soul would be safe from killing Dumbledore, and Dumbledore implies that his soul would not be damaged by helping an old man avoid pain and humiliation.  This leads me to believe that Severus never committed any soul-damaging murders before this).  Beyond being a sneaky spy and delivering the prophecy to Voldemort, his time as a Death Eater is all up for conjecture.  

Severus does make one important deviation from the typical cult member mold, however.  In the end, he manages to break away from the cult.  The scales fall from his eyes.  In a figurative sense, the LSD has worn off.  What made him sober up, was the threat to his last lifeline to the light. The one good fucking thing he’d ever had in his miserable life.  He was brought back by genuine love.  Ya know, the ENTIRE MESSAGE OF THE HP SERIES. And not only did he leave the cult, but he then spent the rest of his life actively attempting to destroy it, and atone for the mistakes he’s made, in an effort to bring back the world he’d been excited for, as an 11-year-old kid, so full of hope.

#Snape Meta #Severus Snape #Pro Snape #Snapedom #Snape Community #This will be the TRUE test of the tags #Essay Jam #Why It Was Practically Inevitable That Severus Snape Would Join A Cult

[heauxplesslydevoted]

Silent Treatment (Ethan x MC)

Summary: Naomi decides that if Ethan isn’t going to treat her like a valued member of the team, she’ll teach him a little lesson.

Based on chapter 1, some spoilers for chapter 2, and my own speculation, so read at your own risk.

I highkey hate this but I’m posting it anyway

~v~

Naomi is quiet. No, she is unusually quiet. Ethan has seen her get silent when it’s time to buckle down and focus on a task, or if something is weighing heavily on her, but at this point he knows her well enough to know it’s neither of those. She’s withdrawn, and he doesn’t understand why.

Her presence is hard to miss, the young resident has enough charm and charisma in her pinky finger to dazzle an entire room. And she’s never this quiet. Naomi demands to be heard at all times. With unapologetic vivacity. With her hands. Eyes sparkling when she gets an idea, or fiery when she needs to dig her toes into something and fight. Nothing about Naomi Valentine is ever subdued, so why the hell is she so silent?

She didn’t speak much during the last few team meetings. He and Harper have led all of the conversations, bouncing ideas back and forth, building off of each other’s ideas. Occasionally, Naomi would offer input, merely to agree or disagree with a theory, before going back into her shell.

It’s even bleeding into their personal life. For the better part of the past 3 months, she’s stayed with him, the two of them holed up in his apartment in the Back Bay, but now she’s opting to stay at her own place. It’s been going on a few days now, this random despondence, and Ethan isn’t a fan of it. He’d take it a step further and say it's driving him crazy. This isn’t the woman he’s known for the past two years, even at her lowest was she never this reclusive.

As he walks down the halls of Edenbrook, he spots Naomi, her personality back to what it once was. She’s with Ines at a vending machine, and Naomi wastes no time animatedly talking to the now attending about a fun date she went on with her girlfriend.

Heart hammering wildly in his chest, Ethan swallows thickly as he listens to her talk. He’s missed the sound of her voice, the affectionate way her strong accent curls around her ‘r’s’ and dramatically elongates her ‘o’s’. It becomes clear that she’s willing to talk, just not to him. Ethan doesn’t like that idea at all, but it’s the only one that makes sense. And if that’s the case, he needs to get to the bottom of things and remedy the situation.

“Naomi, can we talk please?” He asks once Ines is no longer in their presence.

He doesn’t miss the way she bristles upon hearing his voice. But Naomi nods anyway. “Sure, what’s wrong?”

“Can we talk in the office?”

The walk back to the seventh floor is marked with awkward silence as Naomi refuses to initiate conversation with him. The more time ticks on, the more anxiety settles in Ethan’s chest. What’s going on with her that she refuses to divulge?

The office is unoccupied when they arrive, as Harper has already gone home for the evening. Naomi stands by the door, opting not to settle into a seat or even move further into the room. Everything about her body language reads that she’s poised and ready to strike at any given moment. He frowns. She’s never been this defensive against him, at least when they’re not in the middle of an argument. “What’s going on?”

“Are you okay?”

The question catches Naomi off guard. She blinks slowly before shrugging in nonchalance. “I’m fine, Ethan.”

“You’re fine? Really?”

“Is there a reason why I shouldn’t be fine?”

“Not really, but you haven’t been acting like yourself recently.”

Because you’ve been quieter than a church mouse for the past few days. You don’t talk during meetings, you’re silent when we interact with the patients, it’s like you’ve completely tuned out.”

With the way he’s been acting, Naomi is almost shocked that he even realized what she’s been doing. Wow, so maybe the great Ethan Ramsey hasn’t lost his attention to detail.

“Oh, so you’ve actually noticed?”

“I’m a diagnostician, I notice everything,” Ethan deadpans. He can feel the sarcasm wafting off of her. “What, was this an intentional act for my attention?”

“Intentional, yes. But for your attention? Not necessarily,” Naomi answers.

His eyes narrow at her, his gaze near piercing. She’s playing some sort of childish game with him, first with not speaking and now with the vague half answers. “Okay, so walk me through your thought process. Why has the cat stolen your tongue?”

“I decided that if my input wasn’t going to be valued during team discussions, I might as well not speak at all.”

Ethan gapes at her, confused. Where did that come from? “Naomi, what on earth are you talking about? When have I ever not valued your input?”

“I’m talking about the fact that for the past two cases, I’ve stood on the sidelines while you’ve either cut me off mid-sentence to talk over me, or ignore my presence altogether. I might as well blend into the wall.”

“That’s not–”

Naomi doesn’t give him the chance to refute.  “Please spare me the attempt at arguing. Last week, Harper’s first day on the team, you literally had to circle back to me because you cut me off while I was speaking. And now, we’re working on a case, and you and Harper aren’t even taking this patient seriously! I’ve had to redirect the conversation and tell you guys to focus, because you two were too busy acting like bosom buddies, sharing anecdotes about hangovers, and stupid flamenco lessons, and dates you went on in the past, which is not only inappropriate and disrespectful to the patient’s time, it’s disrespectful to me.”

“So either you are completely oblivious, which I find hard to believe for someone as astute as you are, or you have no respect for me, not just as your colleague, but as the woman you claim to be in a relationship with,” Naomi continues. The floodgates have been opened and now that she’s started, she can’t stop herself. “And maybe it’s the latter, because I set that standard. I’ve let you go days, weeks, months without speaking to me with zero consequence, I’ve let you shut me out and slam doors in my face, make snide comments last year when we were treating Leland, I’ve let you have carte blanche over the pace of this relationship. I’ve always just been here and allowed your shitty social graces and piss poor communication skills to rule, and time and time again, you’ve gone unscathed, but now I’m just really tired of it.”

For the first time in a long, Ethan doesn’t have a clue what to say, and as always, Naomi is the woman who puts him in this position.

“Naomi, you can’t possibly think that I think so little of you.”

He can tell by the way her eyes darken that he put his entire foot in his mouth just now. The warning bells go off in his brain, and he scrambles to think of how he can correct this latest blunder.

Naomi bites down on her lip, and she’s actually shocked her mouth isn’t instantly flooded with the metallic taste of blood. She’s getting Punk’d obviously. The office is bugged, and Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out and announce his presence soon. That has to be it. Ethan has to be pranking her, because there’s no way a 38 year old man could ever be so dense, right? Surely his response to her grievances isn’t to dismiss her claims.

“You know what? You’re being obtuse, and we clearly aren’t getting anywhere, so I’m going to cut this conversation off now.”

She refuses to look like the psycho in this scenario and breathe any more life into this argument, and she’s not about to plead her case any further like she’s the one in the wrong.

Ethan’s eyes soften, and he takes a step forward, arms outstretched to touch, soothe whatever hurts he’s heaped upon her, but Naomi sidesteps, moving out of his reach.

If he wasn’t nervous at the start of this conversation, he is now. If the physical act of Naomi blatantly refusing to touch him wasn’t clear enough, the metaphorical chasm between the two of the just widened by a few yards as well. A chill races up and down the length of his spine.

“Naomi, I’m sorry,” Ethan says gently. “I…” His words taper off and he pauses, struggling for what he wants to say next. This has never been his strong point, being vulnerable.

And Naomi doesn’t offer him a lifeline. She’s not going to give him an out or assuage him of anything he’s currently feeling like she usually does. She’s laid out all of her cards, and things are in Ethan’s court at this point. Like always. 

“I’m going home,” she announces. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

~v~

The sun is barely out when Naomi shows up for work in the morning. Most of the hospital is still, the last of the night shift heading out as she’s on her way in. She heads towards the residents’ lounge, wanting to put her things away before checking in on her patients and having a team meeting.

As soon as she opens her locker, she spots a gorgeous bouquet of red roses wrapped in newspaper invading the space. There’s no note attached to the bouquet, and she spared a quick glance around the room to see if anyone else is there. The lounge is empty, save for another resident in the corner, sleeping.

Naomi takes the bouquet out of her locker, careful not to smash the petals and holds it up to her nose, inhaling deeply. 

Deciding to not put more thought into where they came from, Naomi simply cradles the bouquet in the crook of one of her arms, stuffs her bag into her locker, and continues on with her morning routine.

She’s passing by the nurses’ station on the 7th floor when someone catches her attention. “Oh Dr. Valentine! You have a special delivery.”

Her steps slow down as she approaches the front desk where Sarah, one of her favorite RNs is stationed. Sarah steps aside, revealing an even larger bouquet of roses, these ones white.

“Where did these come from?” Naomi asks.

“They were delivered about half an hour ago,” Sarah replies with a wink. “No note, though. I won’t let Dr. Ramsey know that you have a secret admirer.”

And that’s when it clicks into place. Memories of her fight with Ethan come flooding back, and it becomes clear that he’s the one gifting her these flowers. Before she even realizes she’s doing it, her eyes roll. If he thinks a couple of bouquets of roses are a good enough apology, he can think again.

Naomi plucks a white rose right from the center of the bouquet and hands it to Sarah. “For you.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“I insist,” Naomi says. “Happy Friday, Sarah.”

“Thank you, Dr. Valentine!”

Seeing the smile on the senior nurse’s face is almost enough to cleanse Naomi of the annoyance she feels towards Ethan in this moment. After exchanging a few more pleasantries, Naomi manages to scoop up this new batch of flowers – they’re in a vase, to which she adds her red ones – and finishes her trek to the office.

She isn’t expecting it to be covered in bunches of bright yellow sunflowers.

Their communal desk is covered in them, along with Ethan’s personal desk and the couch. “What on earth was he thinking?”

“I was thinking that sunflowers are your favorite flower,” Ethan answers, and Naomi jumps, startled at his voice. She whips around and sees him standing in the doorway. “And so I got up well before the sun was shining, went to the Boston Flower Exchange and bought every single one I could get my hands on.”

“And the roses?”

“White is supposed to be symbolic of new beginnings and forgiveness,” Ethan explains. “And you simply can’t go wrong with red.”

“If you think buying me flowers is going to cut it, you must not know me well,” Naomi says. Him buying her things doesn’t impress her, no matter how much she jokes about his money.

“No, but I figured it couldn’t hurt.” Ethan takes a cautious step into the room, shutting the door behind him. A sleepless night without her beside him forced Ethan to do a lot of thinking about how he wanted this conversation to go. A peace offering is always a good start. “And it got you to talk to me.”

Naomi scoffs and sets her flowers down. “Barely.”

“I’m sorry,” Ethan says. “I’m an idiot, and an asshole.”

“It’s good that we can agree on something.”

Okay, it’s clear that she is not going to give him any leeway. “You were absolutely right to call me out on my behavior towards you.”

“Why did you do it?” Naomi asks.

“I wasn’t thinking,” Ethan says simply. “I got so caught up in having Harper on the team, and it’s easy to slip back into old habits without even realizing.”

“It wasn’t a simple one time thing. It was more than once that you and Harper completely forgot I was even there. And I like Harper, I don’t think I could respect her more than I already do, and I have a very healthy sense of self esteem, but even the toughest person on earth wouldn’t like being in my shoes, on the outside looking in while you and your ex reminisce on old dates and inside stories. Ethan, you couldn’t handle a modicum of the shit I have willingly put up with in order to be with you.”

His stomach knots up at the thought of an ex-boyfriend of Naomi’s coming into his personal space, sharing personal jokes with her, ignoring him, and monopolizing her time. If the thought of it had him this twisted, he can’t believe he’s been putting her through that reality.

“You were right to call me out on my bad communication skills. I am terrible at relationships. I’m not using it as an excuse, it’s just the truth. But I’ve gotten complacent, which is unacceptable.” Ethan takes another step towards Naomi, and when she doesn’t instantly recoil, he takes it as a sign to get even closer. “The last thing I ever want to do is stifle your voice, or make you feel invisible. Naomi, you are...invaluable. To this hospital, to this team, to me, and I am so sorry that there was ever a time where I made you feel like you weren’t. You are the most important person in my life, and what we have is something I’ve never had with anyone else.”

“Okay, so start acting like it,” Naomi challenges. “I’m your equal and I demand every bit of respect you have to offer. Anything less than that cannot be tolerated anymore, personally or professionally.”

Ethan nods emphatically at her words. “Of course.”

“I mean it.”

“You have my word, Naomi. I’ll never let it happen again.” He closes the gap between them and cups her face in his hand. “Just please...never give me the silent treatment again. Yell from the rooftops, argue with me, I don’t care, but I can’t take not hearing your voice.”

“You needed to be taught a lesson,” Naomi says simply.

“I learned my lesson, and I hated it,” Ethan confesses, his lips dangerously close to hers. Naomi doesn’t budge, not even an inch. She’s terribly stubborn, even at the end of a fight. “It was torture.”

“Good.” Deciding to put him out of his misery, Naomi tilts her head up and captures Ethan in a kiss. He doesn’t waste a single second returning it. His free hand wraps around the small of her back, pulling her in closer. How did he go this long without touching her?

He doesn’t know how long they’ve been kissing, but he finally breaks apart from her long enough to bury his face in her neck, allowing her scent and soft skin to soothe any of his fraught nerves. She smells like home.

“Does this mean I’m forgiven?” Ethan asks.

“The jury is still out on that one.”

“You’re going to make me work for this, aren’t you?”

“Are you up for the challenge?”

Ethan untangles himself from their embrace and takes a step back, so he’s able to look Naomi in the eyes. He takes her hand and presses a soft kiss into her palm. “For you? I’ll do just about anything.”

~v~

Let me know if you want to be added to my tag list, or if I tagged you by accident!

Tags: @mvalentine @ @choicesaddict5 @professorkingslay @nikki-2406 @maurine07 @aka-calliope @bluebellot @whimsicallywayward15 @blossomanarchy @takemyopenheart @jamespotterthefirst @fanmantrashcan @whatchique @ao719 @x-kyne-x @colourmeshy @paulfwesley @the-pale-goddess @writinghereandthere @ramseyandrys @perriewinklenerdie @aworldoffandoms @thatcatlady0716 @drakewalker04 @canknot @hatescapsicum @lapisreviewsstuff @senseofduties @badchoicesposts @ethandaddyramseyx @chasingrobbie @zodiacsign1 @choices-lurker @my-heart-beats-for-ya @adrian-motherfucking-raines @riverrune @edith-eggs1 @thatysn @bellcat2010 @blainehellyes @cecilecontrera @junehiratas @choices-love-affair @openheart12 @caseyvalentineramsey @desmaranj @nazario-sayeed @aestheticartsx @ruinedbypixels @nooruleman @rookie-ramsey @mysticalgalaxysstuff

#playchoices #choices: stories you play #open heart #ethan ramsey #dr. ethan ramsey #ethan x mc