#then the lyrics to the fucking work song by hozier

[interstellarbookofflowers]

happy points

it was eid yesterday! although i had some work to do, i did have some free time

i managed to fast the day of arafah (day before eid)! it was hard actually, i yet again misjudged my capabilities, but i somehow managed to finish the fasting day! wont fast again during the summer tho 💀

i watched some precure yayay and listened to the soundtrack! (nature is healing i am being unhinged again)

im hanging out with my friend today! we're going on a silly books hunt again heheh

(dont read the tags if u dont want to see me scream into the void)

#mine #happy points #im still lowkey grieving #its not like intense but sometimes i remember some stuff and im like wow #at this point i rlly dont know how much was real and how much was fake #i mean idc anymore #but boy do i fear that this will happen again #anyway #my friend is cute #yesterday they sent me a tt that i cant interpret cuz i dont wanna read too much into it #it was like car seats - you and me #then volume up #then the lyrics to the fucking work song by hozier #🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 #clown shit #i even read the comments that's how confused i was #it was all like oh my partner sings this to me and oh i want this to be our wedding song #BRO??? #im holding back just for u dammit #i mean im not subtle they know exactly what i think abt them #well not the feely part #just the bro ur fucking hot and cool and all that #this is so much clowning i cant #but yk what ill just #enjoy the vibes while they last #and then we will see #the damn frog ring is haunting me tho lmao #that shit feels like a declaration of some sorts

[chronicowboy]

girls when hozier noah kahan work song

#sami rambles #SJFNJABFUJARBHGFUIRAHFGUIRAEFHUIEAFHRUHNFGBRUIGHVUISRBNFGSHGNUISRHGNFUAGHNSRGHSK #UTTERLY LIFECHANGING #CANT FUCKING FUNCTION #NEVET GONNA STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS #might have finally decided to get a work song lyric tatted on me bc of this.... #hozier #noah kahan

[hyperfixation-polls]

Okay so I don’t know if anyone else does this, but I often attribute certain musicians with certain characters and while I am reading Heaven Official’s blessing and rewatching season one of the donghua I have come to the conclusion that Hua Cheng is Hozier.

Exhibit A - the voice sounds right, and like their looks would mesh well

Exhibit B - the vibe, it’s hard to explain by like Hozier’s darker esque fantasy esque vibes or whatever, I don’t know how to explain it, but the vibe is just so Hua Cheng!

Exhibit C - how many songs are just about Hozier’s devotion to his lover??? Like seriously that is just so Hua Cheng!!

#i will die on this fucking hill #you can’t convince me otherwise #hua Cheng = hozier! #imagine him singing take me to church or the work song! #like the lyric from the work song #no grave can hold my body down I’ll crawl home to her #you can’t tell me that that is such a hua Cheng mood! #tgcf #heaven official's blessing #hua cheng

[rebeccccccaaa]

Too Sweet

______________

Spencer Reid x Reader

:: Practically at his beck and call, Spencer knows you’re too sweet for him. He knows he shouldn’t use you but he can’t stop himself when you’re also all too enthusiastic to fuck him ::

warnings :: smutttt, casual sex (kinda lol), oral (fem receiving), over stimulation, insomnia!spencer, spencer spitting facts (literally), reader is described to have hair length long enough to stick to your cheeks, obviously reader is described as afab, not sure what else i should tag so let me know what i miss :)

author’s notes :: hello, hello! honestly i saw this tik tok edit of spencer with this song (Too Sweet - Hozier) and felt a bit inspired by it and also loosely by lyrics too. please be kind as it’s been a couple years since i last wrote a fic and it’s my first one about dr reid too, so let me know if you guys like it, comment, reblog, all that jazz and critiques are more than welcome! Enjoy!

WC :: ~4k

_______________

It was pretty late into the night, it was the first weekend in weeks that the team was able to really enjoy. Spencer sat in a corner of his apartment, a glass of whiskey sat on the table as he flipped the pages of a book he’s read a thousand times before, albeit it was one of favorites. 

He was hesitant to call, he didn’t want to pull you away from enjoying your weekend but when it came to his pleasure, he put himself first. You were always too nice to say no to him and he knew that. It made him feel sleazy sometimes, but this was who he was now. Rugged, damaged, fucked up. He’d been through a lot. But in those moments where you squirmed and whined beneath him, he felt satiated. You were his drug now. 

“Hello?” he mumbled when the call picked up.

“Spencer,” your voice was a whisper as  you practically sang his name.

“You’re awake,” he said.

“Yes,” you responded.

“It’s a little late don’t you think?” he poked. 

“Then why are you calling?” 

You knew why he was calling. He only ever wanted one thing from you when the sky was dark. You didn’t mind it though. You basked in it. You kind of liked it. The feeling of having sex without commitment. Your job didn’t give you enough time for a commitment. You didn’t feel humiliated or belittled by Spencer’s desires. In fact, his lust for you turned you on in most cases. Most. 

Spencer was still a good friend to you. Regardless of sleeping with him, he was your closest friend. And recently, you noticed changes in him. Maybe you’ve kept a closer eye on him more than before but you were a little concerned. You had the right after everything he’s been through. He seemed more tired than usual, even though he was still punctual with work. Although you didn’t sleep in his bed after every time you slept together, when you did, you pretended not to notice his exits and long absences in between the long hours of the night. You could barely hear his ever so quiet footsteps roaming the living room. The clanking of coffee mugs in the kitchen and his quiet ‘Shit’ when he thought he was being too loud.

Three subtle knocks rapped his door, so quiet Spencer would’ve missed if he had breathed just a bit louder. A grin spread across his face subconsciously, glancing at the clock before taking long strides to the door. It was almost midnight. You stood in the doorway with heavy eyes, not the drunk kind, but the tired kind. He moved aside to let you in. Just like last time; and all the other times you showed up at his door for him. 

“I thought you went out tonight,” he questioned, rhetorically. 

“I did. For a bit,” you told him, “I just had one drink, then went home.”

“What are you doing up so late?” you asked, you already know the answer. And Spencer knows you know too, though he tried at first to be more subtle in his nightly fixtures. He simply sighed with amusement. You set your things down on his couch, eyes adjusting to the dim lights that hardly lit the room. The glass sitting on the table in the corner caught your eyes though. 

“What are you drinking?” you asked.

“Uh, whiskey. Neat.” 

“Ew, why?” you joked.

“It’s not that bad,” he shrugged. A whiskey wouldn’t exactly be Spencer’s first choice of drink but then again his first choice of drink wouldn’t even be alcohol. If it was, he would probably be content with a beer, or something of the sort. He was sort of going through a phase during nights. He was sleeping a lot less too. 

“I just didn’t take you for a whiskey kind of guy,” you teased.

“What kind of guy did you take me for?” he poked; he wasn’t really talking about drinks anymore though. 

“Water,” you joked, making him laugh. 

Spencer stood before you now. His hands were slightly hesitant this time to rest on your hips. 

“Is everything ok, Spencer?” you asked him. 

“Yes,” his voice was a whisper. 

You didn’t believe him, but you knew better than to press him. He was a stubborn guy and whether you did or didn’t you weren’t going to get an answer. You slid your hands up his chest before cupping the back of his neck with your hands. The kiss was chaste. You didn’t want to sleep with him if he was having second thoughts.

“Are you sure? If you’ve changed your mind I can head hom-,” you were telling him.

“No, don’t,” he rushed out. 

“I’m fine; I just haven’t been sleeping well,” he confessed. This surprised you, not because you didn’t know, but because you didn’t think he would tell you. 

“Well, then maybe I should go. That way you can finally get to bed before the sun comes up for once,” you joked with him, “Besides, you’re the one who's always telling people how important sleep is to the human body.”

Your words shocked Spencer this time. Admittedly, in the back of mind he suspected that you could sense him leaving his bed, or your bed sometimes, and that one or more times he’d been a little loud dwindling in the next room. But he didn’t realize you were fully aware of his nightly escapades. You knew him too well. You were too sweet to him. Spencer knew after all the fucked up things he’s been through he didn’t deserve your friendship; or anything more despite the fact.

“Did you know that elephants sleep the least of any other animal?” he told you, he doesn’t know why. Maybe to distract you, or seduce you. Both outcomes came often enough for him to make it a guessing game.

“You’re not an elephant.”

And then there were the ultra rare times when neither outcome happened; just now being one of them. 

“Sleep deprivation has been associated with reduced sexual desire and arousal,” he tried again.

“Well, I can help with that,” you teased. There we go.

He leaned down to kiss your lips but you pulled back in tease, smile on your face; you knew how pussywhipped you had this man. He didn’t want to fight it, he was growing desperate for you with every passing second. Rolling his eyes, he dipped his head in the crook of your neck. His hands left your hips, pulling you closer to him from your waist and lower back. Your hands began to unbutton his shirt, he was still wearing the clothes you saw him working in earlier that day. 

You stopped him, never been one to have sex anywhere other than the bedroom, taking his hand already knowing where to go after doing so many times before already. Although, it wasn’t like his apartment was a confusing labyrinth. He followed you like always. 

You reached the edge of the bed, sitting instinctively. Your hand went straight to his belt, undoing it with ease. Spencer pulled your hands away from his hips before sinking to his knees to the ground. He pulled your hips to the very edge, scratching the skin as he desperately pulled at your pants bringing them down your legs. Of course you let him.

He pushed you back and you fell on your elbows, still able to see him so clearly. See him dip his head and kiss the skin on the inside of your knee, his eyes lingering on yours. You let your head go for a second, basking in the feeling of his lips. They always made you feel so warm and tingly. One thing about Spencer, he loved foreplay. All the little things that lead up to sex. Most of the time, he craved the foreplay more than the sex itself. 

He moved your legs over his shoulders, his arms wrapping around your thighs, his hands holding your hips. His nose ran along your inner thighs. Your skin erupted in goosebumps at the feeling of his warm breath coming from his nose. His fingers fiddled against your hip bones and you wiggled a bit becoming desperate by the minute for something more than just this teasing.

“Spence,” you whined, looking back at him.

“It doesn’t matter how many times we do this, you’ll never learn patience will you?” Spencer bartered. 

“Spencer, I don’t come to you to learn patience,” you spat, not with any malice however.

“You won’t come at all with that attitude,” he snapped back, hiding a grin between your legs. 

“Spencer!” you gasped.

He chuckled lowly, bringing his hand between your thighs, pulling your underwear to the side to expose you to him. You were glistening, slick beginning to leak from you already. Spencer could feel himself getting hard. He precariously tried to not buck his hips into the bed like horny teenager.  

“Fuck,” he whispered under his breath. 

He stepped up quickly letting your legs drop harshly. His fingers curled over the hem of your underwear pulling them down and tossing behind his shoulder before returning to his previous position. He felt like he was possessed. Acting and moving like it was primal, instinctive. He wanted nothing more in this moment than to satisfy you. 

He kissed all the places except the place you needed the most. You curled your toes anticipating his next move, longing for his lips, tongue, fingers, anything to bring you pleasure. Just when you were about to sit up, ready to nag at him, his lips wrapped around your bud. 

Your shoulders gave out at the feeling. Your body electrifying instantaneously. Your eyes trained on the ceiling, focusing on everything about Spencer in this moment, the sounds, his touch, his tongue. His tongue dipping in you every now and then, making you moan feverishly. His hands spread out, pinning your hips down to the bed to try and get you to stop wiggling your hips, but he wasn’t too successful in that. 

“Knock it off,” he groaned, removing a hand wrapped around your leg to bring his fingers to your entrance.

“It’s not enough; I need more,” you whined.

“No, you want more,” he debuted, “You’re being greedy.”

“And you’re being mean,” you quipped, you always had something to retort.

“Ok, fine,” he stood up.

“Stop!” you whined, “Please, come back. Do whatever you want.”

“I will,” he sat on his knees again, instantly bringing his fingers up to rub slow circles that made your toes curl. 

He purposefully let them every now and then prod at your entrance make your hips jerk in surprise. He could see how wet you were, all of the slick telling him how needy you were. He looked up to look at your face. His eyes catching your nipples peeking through the fabric of your shirt from the pleasure already, smiling to himself. 

“Sexual arousal can cause an increase in blood flow to not just female genitalia, but also the breasts,” he told you, feeling your thighs squeeze ever so slightly.

“Is that your way of telling me my nipples are hard because of you?” you teased.

“Yes,” he stated before diving straight back between your thighs. 

His tongue did circles like his fingers, the wetness and warmth much more stimulating than before. His fingers slid inside you, curling when he couldn’t push them any further. You moaned out, reaching your hand down to comb your fingers through Spencer’s shaggy hair. The noises of everything bounced off the walls of Spencer’s shallow bedroom. It sounded vulgar but so sexy. Your heavy breathing practically syncing together. 

Your thighs squeezed more and more as you got closer to your climax; you didn’t care if you were suffocating Spencer. If he died, he died pleasuring you and neither of you minded it in this moment. Your hips grinding against his tongue chasing you release frantically. Spencer pumped his fingers in and out of you rapidly, leading you to ecstasy. 

Your breaths became shaking, as did your moans. You were overcome with pleasure as your orgasm hit you so suddenly. You could feel Spencer’s smile growing against you, you knew that he wasn’t going to withdraw despite reaching your climax. 

“Oh god, too much, Spence.” 

“First it was not enough, now it’s too much?” he taunted you, fingers still pumping in and out you strenuously. 

“Spence!” you wailed, your voice trembling embarrassingly. 

When he wouldn’t give out, you pulled at his hair as you sat up and pulled his mouth away from between your thighs. 

“Oh ow, ow, ow!” he whined. 

“Jesus, you were gonna give me a heartache,” you whined. 

“Actually the possibility of having a heart attack during sexual activity is exceedingly low. So you wouldn’t have had anything to worry about; if anything you would get a small headache,” he explained. 

“You’re giving me a headache,” you whined, making him laugh.  

You pulled him from the back of his neck, crashing his lips against yours. You loved to kiss Spencer. You always felt the closest to him physically when you kissed. Which is ironic since he was quite literally inside you most nights. Kissing, the art of kissing, was practically your love language. You always gave small pecks when you were together, privately of course. 

Spencer was worried at first, that kissing was too intimate that things would complicate fast and feelings would get hurt. But as time went on and things continued to stay normal between you, he just began to relish in it rather than worry about nothing. At least that’s what he’s convinced himself of. 

He suddenly remembered the first time you slept together. You were in his apartment one night going over some details of the case. Nothing so major, or frightening, but something wasn’t adding up. You decided to take a break, cracking open some beers and just talk. One beer became two, then three, then four and then suddenly bottles littered the pitiful coffee table in front of you. You were very clear with him, “I don’t just sleep with anybody.” But you were a woman with needs just as much as Spencer was a man, “Neither do I.”

“Things have to stay the way they are if we do this,” he told you that night.

“They will,” you assured him. 

You rested your forehead against his seeing his eyes seem different. Spencer always did this. Everytime, just for a minute or even a second, he would disappear behind his eyes, like he was reminiscing on a memory you couldn’t describe. 

“You did that thing again,” you said with a small grin on your face. 

“I know,” he blushed, “Sorry.”

“You ever gonna tell me what you’re thinking about when you do that?” you questioned.

“Nope,” he smirked, making you giggle. 

Spencer stood straight up shagging his shirt off before scrambling out of his pants. He crawled back over you settling his hips between your thighs as he dipped his head down to attach his lips to your neck. Your hand curled around his neck, sliding your fingers through his hair as his breath and lips tickled your skin. Your hips fit together snuggly, grinding against desperate to chase each other’s highs.

Spencer reached into the drawer beside your head to pull out a condom. You snatched it from his hands with a devilish smirk on your face tearing it with your teeth. You spat the foil corner from your mouth, pulling the condom from its package before tossing it aside. You reached between your bodies stroking Spencer. His face blushing red, contorting with pleasure as it’s the first of the night to feel some sort of friction he needed from the beginning. The reason he called you in the first place. 

Spencer let his hands trace your skin. Though you wouldn’t react, your skin erupted in goosebumps. Feeling him prodding against your entrance, your breath hitched, your heart skipping a beat. You always anticipated this part. No matter how many times you and Spencer spent the night together, you couldn’t ever get used to the flips your stomach made at this time. 

Spencer pushed his hips into you, his length stroking your walls making your hum in delight. Spencer’s breath became heavy as he pulled out just enough before rutting back in you with skill. Your face began to feel hot as Spencer began to find a good rhythm. You could feel the sweat building on your forehead, the air cold against your scalp. 

You looked at Spencer’s face; the veins bulging from his forehead and his neck. You cupped his cheek with your hand, catching his rhythm with your hips. Your breath became heavy, your hums became moans. Spencer wasn’t exactly the most vocal lover you laid with. Not that Spencer was your lover of course. That‘s not what you meant.

“What’s going on in that pretty little brain?” Spencer’s voice took you from your sudden trance; his pace beginning to slow. He brought his hand to your face, pulling the stray hairs that stuck to your cheeks from your sweat away.

“Nothing, just don’t stop,” you sighed, pulling his lips down to yours again. 

Spencer picked up his pace again, the sound of skin slapping echoing in the room. You felt overcome with an ambitious heat throughout your body. You pushed Spencer’s shoulders up trying your best to cool down without stopping your chase to your high. Spencer sat on his knees gripping your hips, practically ramming his hips into yours. Your back arched and you gripped the sheets beneath you. 

“Oh god, fuck,” you cried out. Your thighs squeezing Spencer’s torso as you began to get closer to your climax. 

“Shit, it’s like I can’t get enough no matter how many times I have you squirming beneath me,” he gloated. 

You could see Spencer's chest begin to get red, his knuckles however turning white. Your hands reached down gripping his wrists. Prying them away, before sitting up to straddle his legs, as they stretched forward, adjusting comfortably. You held on to his shoulders sturdily, finding an entirely new rhythm to chase your high. 

Spencer’s hands ran up your back, sliding under your shirt that you had yet to take off. No wonder you were overwhelmed with heat. He peeled the tight fabric from your skin, tossing it to the ground like he has so many times before. He unhooked your bra with ease, his eyes instantly trained to your chest. He couldn’t help his hands following, massaging the soft skin. Spencer looked up to you as you bounced up and down. Sweat dripping seductively down the valley of your breasts. 

“You’re so pretty,” Spencer whispered, staring up at you.

“I know,” you joked breathlessly, giving him a playful wink. 

Spencer let out a breathy laugh at that. The both of you were itching for a release now. Your bodies squirming against one another, aching to give the other the release. You leaned back placing your hands on his thighs, moving your hips faster and harder than before. 

“Spencer, I’m getting close, I feel it,” you whimpered, “Please tell me you’re close too.”

“I’m close,” he breathed out.

“Fuck,” you cried.

“Come on, sweetheart. Let go,” Spencer mused, he reached between you two, fingers circling quickly between your thighs to bring you to climax even faster.

You gasped out, chest heaving as you felt the waves of pleasures wash over you suddenly. You couldn’t help the loud moans escaping from you as you threw your head back; arched back and thighs tensed. Spencer’s hand held your body close to himself, and you curled forward wrapping your arms around his head as you climaxed indefinitely. Spencer grunted below you, his legs stiffening and jerking upward. Curses whispered from his lips. 

“Oh, shit,” you gasped, relaxing and slumping your body over Spencer. 

“Treat me good, like always,” he whispered, his hand coming briefly to stroke your hair gently. 

He rolled you over, laying you lazily on his bed before climbing out of the bed swiftly. He stumbled his way to dispose of the rubber. He grabbed a small towel from a drawer along with something to cover himself. He sat silently on the edge of the bed, gently cleaning you as your eyes slowly blinked, telling him you were exhausted. 

“You want to stay the night? I can see how tired you are.” 

“I’ll be gone first thing in the morning,” you quipped with a small grin on your face. 

Spencer laid beside you, covering your body with the blankets. You curled by his side, your leg falling over his hips. He turned the lights out, but the soft golden glow from the lights in the room next door streamed in. His arm wrapped around you, fingers softly stretching your back. Steady breaths against his chest gave him a sense of comfort. He was always a bit jealous how easily sleep came to you; how peaceful you looked when you did. Spencer tried to close his eyes. He tried to let rest wash over him like a blanket. What felt like seconds was an hour. And another hour. He peeked at his watch laying on the nightstand beside him, three o’clock the time read. 

Sighing, he sneaked out of bed, careful to not wake you. He skulked towards the kitchen, eyeing the small glass of whiskey still on the table. He couldn’t help smirk to himself over it. He opened the cabinet grabbing a mug, pouring a bitter liquid into it. He took a big swig of his favorite beverage, basking in all the flavors, when suddenly a beautiful figure stood before him. 

“Hey,” his voice was quiet. 

“I’m guessing you haven’t slept,” you tiptoed your way to him, you could hear him sighing. 

“Is there anything at all I can do to help you?” you whispered, carefully placing your hand on Spencer’s warm back. 

“No, but having you here is enough.”

You were beginning to blur the lines between your arrangement and your friendship. But neither you nor Spencer could muster up the courage to stop what you’ve started. Spencer indulged in your sweetness, the way you were always there to satiate his desires, the way you opened yourself to him like heaven’s gate. And you, well you would never admit it. Being in love with Spencer that is. You’ve known him for years; seen the best parts of him and helped him through the worst. You knew him the best of anyone you’ve known before. And he could say the same too. He’s never opened up to anyone as much as he has to you. 

You were perfect for each other. And yet, Spencer wouldn’t allow himself to bask in it. He truly believed he didn’t deserve you. That all the demons that haunted him in these dark hours were undeserving of your kindness, compassion, gentleness. Simply thinking about you was often enough to calm him in tense situations. But he would never tell you this. So here he was, standing in the kitchen with his coffee black at three in the morning wondering why you couldn’t see that he would never be enough for you. 

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fic #mgg fanfiction #mgg smut #first fic back!! #hope you enjoyed reading #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fluff #mgg fluff #mgg x reader #reader insert #smut

[thexsilentxwordsmith]

I'll Crawl Home To Her

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!reader

Summary: Simon is away on a mission and you are on his mind. Having to extend his stay, he is going to miss Valentine's day, but coming across a recent trend on TikTok, he may have a way to say just how much you mean to him.

***So, this came from the TikTok trend I came across of military guys posting pics of their girlfriends/wives/fiancees/etc. to the song Work Song by Hozier and I wanted Simon to do it too for you. So here it is! Just a little something extra***

***Pictures are made by me***

Simon can’t sleep, again. 

It’s been a while that his team has been in the field on their current mission and though he knows he should focus on the task at hand, there is so much on his mind tonight. Even though he is tired, he cannot seem to get himself to drift off. There is something missing, or more like someone, that he wishes to be beside right now and that is you.

He feels guilty about still being gone as he should be in by now, just in time for Valentine's day, but that isn’t happening anymore. Things on this latest mission are taking longer than expected and instead of packing up to come home to you, he had to have that hard phone call to tell you that he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. In that call he heard it there in your voice: that twinge of sadness that you always try to mask through hopeful and kind words, holding back the crackle in your voice as you choke back the tears in hopes that he won't hear it, but he does. He always does.

As much as he loves his job he is ready to be back with you again and hearing that does not make it any easier. 

The dark surrounds him as Simon lays in his cot, trying to numb his mind with his phone propped up in his hand, hopeful that with enough distraction sleep will eventually take him. He knows there is no better way to keep his mind from wandering back to those things he cannot change than by idly watching short content videos and he knows just where to go for that. He clicks on the TikTok app and begins to watch. 

Scrolling through the drivel and waste, past people spewing their nonsense, a video comes across his feed that instantly brings you right back to the forefront of his thoughts. The first slide is a picture of a young man in his fatigues and tactical gear smiling at the camera. He is clearly in the field on active duty and there is text across him that repeats the lyrics of the song playing. His picture is followed by a slide with what Simon assumes is his wife with the next bit of lyrics over her. It looks like a new trend amongst military personnel on the app, a tribute to the ones they are going to come home to in the future: children, pets, significant others, family. 

The song tugs at his heartstrings from the moment it begins; it's one he hasn't heard before, but the lyrics make his heart ache and his arms feel so incredibly empty without the weight of your body filling them as the singer speaks about how even in death they would find their way home to the one they love.

And fuck if that isn't something he thinks about a lot. 

It is a burden of this type of job, leaving all part of his heart behind back home every time he has to go out. He knows this lifestyle isn’t easy on either of you, that even though you’ve been together for a couple years now, having him constantly be pulled across the world and away from you still has a certain bite to it. Yet with all that stacked against your relationship, not once have you ever been anything other than supportive. Standing beside him through it all, constantly choosing to give him your heart no matter how hard this gets, loving him through the all the shit that gets thrown his way; if there is anyone his soul would seek out even in death, it would be you. 

He clicks on the sound at the bottom of the screen with a lump welling in his throat and starts to watch more videos of the same. One video turns into two and then three and now his heart is aching something fierce, like a physical burning in the center of his hardened chest that he tries to rub away with his hand, but he knows it's not going to go until he's near you again.

This longing is worse than it has ever been before. He misses your touch, all that soft, warm skin under his hardened hands; he misses your laugh, that sweet sound that can make the sunshine come out even on a rainy day; he yearns for your mouth, those full lips that he can lose himself in. It's almost too much to bear being away from you at that moment.

Simon was never one for big displays of sentimentality. No one ever seemed worth breaking down those walls that he had built up to allow himself to be vulnerable in such a public way like that. It never seemed worth the sacrifice. And for a long time, no matter who he met, that was true…until you.

You broke the mold when you came into his life. Now his heart can't help but burst at the seams whenever you pop into his head. He could be a thousand miles away from you, stuck in some hot, miserable shithole in the middle of nowhere, like he is right now, and yet the moment he thinks of you it doesn't seem quite so bad. 

Because he knows there is a piece of heaven waiting for him, something wonderful that is all his that the struggle of his other life will not touch, not if he has anything to do with it.

Simon may have to miss being there on the day when people show their loved ones how much they care, but that doesn’t mean he can do nothing. As the videos continue to play, he gets an idea, one that will hopefully show you just how much he really does care. 

As much as you go on the app, he is sure you have seen a video or two like this come across your scrolling. You have probably sat there and watched just as he did, thinking about him being so far away, missing him something terrible. Maybe you would like to see him make a video like that for you. Either way, this is something he wants to do, needs to do.

Simon has no pictures of just himself on his phone, none without you in them, and so that’s his first order if he wants to do this right. He tries to do the easy thing the next day and take a selfie, but he can’t get one that looks good enough for him to keep. The more he takes, the worse he thinks they look and that means he is going to have to get help whether he wants to or not, otherwise he is going to back out of doing this and he’s not going to let that happen. 

This is for you after all, he needs it to be perfect. You deserve that.

He decides his best bet is wrangling Soap into doing this for him; at least he is the most comfortable asking the sergeant. “Johnny, I need ya to do somethin’ for me,” Simon says as the team stands around awaiting transport into the designated location. “Don’t ask any fuckin’ questions, but I need ya to take a picture a me real quick.”

“Wanna do a beauty shoot here, L.T.? Seems a bit of a strange location,” Johnny jokes as Simon pulls out his phone from his pocket and shoves it into the sergeant’s open hand. Johnny watches him for a moment, taking a guess at what this is all really about. “Or is it for yer lass back home? Gonna send her somethin’ nice?”

Shaking his head, Simon laughs sarcastically. “Just take the damn picture, yeah? An’ make it look good. I want it ta look natural.”

This isn’t something the masked officer has much experience in and so posing is out; he instead goes for something where it looks like he is caught unaware that he’s being photographed. He’s looking off in the distance, his hand wrapped around his gun so they don’t just hang awkwardly at his side. Johnny quickly snaps the pic and hands the phone back to Simon to check. 

“That’ll do,” he says under his breath, satisfied enough with how it looks.

That night as he lays down for bed, he quickly pieces the video together: first his photo and then he needs one of you. He opens his camera roll and it is absurd how many different ones he has saved. There are so many to choose from that he has a hard time picking the perfect one, but settles on something recent. 

It’s one of you in the bathroom of your apartment, all cozy in the striped jumper he got you for your birthday. Your hair is pulled down out of the bun you keep it in for work, a bit messy from just getting in after you got off. Never has he seen someone more beautiful in such a simple state; you always could look like a dream without even trying. And even through your exhaustion you still give the camera and him the biggest, brightest smile. 

Yeah, it has to be this one. This is the beauty he does all this for.

Luckily it is a rather simple video to put together, he doesn’t have too much trouble getting it to look exactly like the others. He has to watch and rewatch it several times just to be sure he is happy with the product before he hits upload to his followers only. Being that you are the only person that follows him, that is exactly what he wants; he may have to be a bit secretive for work, but that doesn’t mean he can’t try and give you some normalcy.

To him you deserve the world and fuck if he isn’t going to try and give it to you.

He presses the button, the uploading dial in the upper hand corner spinning until it reaches 100%, and waits to see if you get it, hoping that it has the effect he wants in saying all he needs to for you to know how special you are to him.

Across the country, your phone buzzes with a random notification as you lay in bed. It's from Simon's account on TikTok saying he's made a new post. You can’t help how strange you think it is… He never posts anything on his account because he really only made one for you to send him stupid videos to watch whenever he needs to unwind and so it takes you by surprise to see that he has posted something. Opening the app curiously you go straight to check out what it is.

You are not prepared for the emotion that hits you the moment the video starts to play. It’s one of those military posts you have come across a couple of times while scrolling late at night, the ones that you have to quickly scroll past or risk crying at how sweet they are and how much they make you miss Simon. Now the heartfelt Hozier song is blasting through the speakers and it is for you.  

The sentiment behind the lyrics of the song mixed with the picture of him on his latest mission is almost too much. And of course he has picked the picture of you looking all natural, it’s like he can’t get enough of you when you don’t even try at all. You know better than anyone how Simon despises having his picture taken if it isn’t with you, so this a huge sign of just how deeply he cares. Instantly there is a stinging around the rims of your eyes as your vision shimmers. You let the video replay several times as the stray tears are let loose and stream heavily down your face.

Simon did this all for you.

Quickly you pull up your texting app and send him a message, hoping he’s still up to at least answer. You have to rub your eyes with the back of your hand to see the screen, but you type out your message as best you can.

I want you to know I'm crying right now because of you. Is that what you wanted? Make me something that has me crying?

A few minutes pass before your phone buzzes with a text from him, just as you finish wiping away more of the tears collecting on your cheeks. 

Guess you saw the video, yeah? I hope I did it right, sweetheart. Cause I fucking mean it.

You chuckle, swallowing down the lump of feelings that have lodged themselves in your throat, struggling not to start sobbing at how his sweet affection. Of all the things that could be said about Simon Riley, one that could never was that he didn't try his hardest when it came to loving you.

The emotion makes your hands quiver, but you text him back.

It is perfect, Simon. I love it. Really, you did so good.

Simon smiles to himself, glad that your deep connection allows him to share things like this with you. There is no one else that can see him like this, that he can allow his guard down around, and it feels nice to be this tender for the first time in his life. He truly feels as if he can be vulnerable, let himself love with his whole heart, and it is all because of you.

Maybe I'm going soft, but I wanted you to know that I am missing you like mad and that I hate I’m not there with you right now. Fuck, it's getting hard. Can't wait till you're back in my arms again, darling.

You close your eyes and press your lips to the screen as if he can feel your kiss through the screen.

Love you.

Not even a minute passes and the phone vibrates.

Love you too, my beautiful girl. I promise I'll be home soon.

#simon ghost riley #simon riley #call of duty #ghost cod #ghost mw2 #cod mw2 #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon #ghost simon riley #simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley fluff #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost x you #cod ghost #ghost call of duty #ghost

[citrusandcyanide]

The First Time | L.G

Pairing: Lip Gallagher x f! Reader

Synopsis. Based on The First Time by Hozier. Lip and His best friend have a complicated relationship and struggle to define their feelings for eachother.

an. omg I have literally been writing this for months. I started this when the album came out but kept changing how I wanted it to go. I hope you like it :)

words. 5.6k

Warnings. I do not own Hoziers lyrics or any writes to the song. Smoking, Drinking, mentions of intimacy.

Song link. The First time by Hozier

And the first time that you kissed me

I drank dry the River Lethe

The Liffey would have been softer on my stomach all the same

You blamed it on the weed. 

It was a cold foggy night when Lip called you to smoke with him. The sun had set hours before. You were walking home from a date with a guy from class. It had not gone well and you wouldn’t be going out with him again. You texted Lip after you left to update him on how it went. After he realized you were going to want to complain, he invited you to hang out under the L. 

It was not like you were completely disinterested in the guy, but it wouldn’t be fair to say you didn’t go out of boredom. He seemed a lot more interested in you than you were of him. It wasn’t a bad thing, but it just wasn’t what you wanted. 

Lip sat in the grass under the train platform, cigarette already in hand. Once you reached him, you took the cigarette from his lips and placed them between yours. You sat down as you inhaled. 

“That bad?” Lip asked, fidgeting with his lighter. You shrugged, shaking your head as you took the cigarette away from your mouth. Handing it back to him, you exhaled. 

“No. The opposite I guess,” you replied, placing your hands in your pocket to protect you from the cold. Lip noticed and scooted closer to you. He took the last hit before putting it out. He pulled a pack of rolling papers out of his pocket along with a grinder. He started rolling, signaling you to continue talking. “He was too nice. Just a gentleman you know?” 

“What’s the problem then?” Lip chuckled in response, still prepping the joint. 

“I just can’t understand how interested he was. Like he was really trying, asking me about my interests, paid for my meal, even offered to walk me home. But I couldn’t make myself interested. I felt really bad. I was wasting his time.” 

You were expecting him to crack jokes, but he shook his head. You looked at him curiously as he lit the joint. Lip hands you the joint before replying. 

“This is, uh, gonna sound blunt, but… I think it sounds like a pretty good date and I’m confused about why you’re upset.” You started laughing and took the joint from him. “You’ve been on much worse dates with guys you were interested in. Are you sure there wasn’t anything bad?”

“Well..” You thought for a moment. The very ending of the date replaying in your head. “He uh… was a very sloppy kisser.” 

Lip let out a cough, choking on the smoke in surprise. He turned to you. “After all this talk of not being interested, you still kissed him?” 

You shrugged in response, “I had no reason not to kiss him. He was very nice, just… thought maybe it would make me more inclined to like him. Didn’t fucking work though. God, it was so bad.” You put your head in your hands. 

The joint continued to pass between the two of you. The cold was pushing you closer together. Eventually, your arms had been looped together, and shoulders were tightly pressed up against each other. The heat from the smoke and each other being your sole sources of heat. You told Lip of all the gross details. Eventually, it leads to bringing up all your failed dates. Lip followed along, bringing up details about each one that you had forgotten. Your head fell onto his shoulder. 

“I don’t get why I’m so unlucky,” You sighed, taking a final drag from the joint. Lip scoffed. 

“You’re not unlucky. No one deserves you,” Lip replied. He took the roach from you and put it out on the pavement between you. There was a moment of silence. You could feel his breathing slow down, signaling to you he was getting ready to speak. “So the kiss was the only thing that ruined the night?” 

You didn’t look up at him, but nodded in agreement. He turned his head downward to look at you. 

“Could I fix that?” 

You took your head off his shoulder, eyes furrowed in confusion. “How would you fix it?”

“I could give you a better one.” 

You don’t remember when you said yes. All you can remember was how soft his lips were on yours. His hand on your cheek sent flames through your skin. 

There would be no reason for your best friend to ask to kiss you if it wasn’t because he was high. There would be no way you would agree with it unless YOU were high. Lip kissed you and the world you knew shattered. The cuddling and holding hands were normal. But with one simple question, the foundation of your friendship had changed. It was the best kiss you had ever had, but it didn’t fix anything like he intended. 

He pulled away, keeping his hand on your cheek. A whole new man was in front of you. His blue eyes pierced into his soul. He was beautiful. It wasn’t like you hadn’t thought about it before but right now it was overwhelming. 

“Is that better, baby?” Lip asked, his voice barely above a whisper. All you could do was stare back at him in awe and shock. Something took over you. All you wanted was to feel his lips again. You wanted everything. You wanted him. 

And then he laughed quietly. It broke you out of your trance. You turned your head to your feet and shook your head. It was the weed. It had to be. The warmth from his touch vanished and replaced itself with cold. It pierced through your skin. You winced at his laugh. He was smiling, the type you never see when he’s sober. 

Some part of me must have died

The first time you called me baby

You wanted to throw up. 

You wanted to drink yourself until you forgot the feeling of his lips against yours. It was all you thought about. For a while all you did was drink, but no matter how much you did, nothing erased the feelings you had developed for your best friend. Lip didn’t make it any easier. He hadn’t brought the kiss up again, but his demeanor around you changed. He’d grab your hand more while you were walking. Or he’d have his arm over your shoulders on public transport. 

Worse, and what made it hardest to forget, was the new nickname: Baby. It killed you and brought you to life again. You couldn’t help but melt when he said it. Baby. Something so simple. Nothing you would ever think you would like to be called, but from his mouth it was soft and sweet. 

Lip never said it often enough for you to get used to. It was only ever heard when he was high or tipsy. Most nights it was over the phone when he was calling you to come over. 

“I’m having a bad day, baby. Please come over.” 

You always would. You knew it wasn’t good. Most of the time, he’d need physical comfort. Lip would fall asleep in your lap or on your chest. He’d go out of his way to make sure your hands were touching. He didn’t kiss you again, but he thought about it. It was like he was holding back from it. This was probably because when he’d call you over it was almost always about another girl. Lip could acknowledge that he needed comfort but didn’t want to play with your feelings to that level. He didn’t realize the game had already begun. 

Everytime you were over you were falling deeper for Lip. You craved his touch. You craved being close to him. You craved him. You were addicted to the calls. Nights where he didn’t call, all you thought about was being around him. 

This life lived mostly underground

Unknowing either sight nor sound

'Til reaching up for sunlight

Just to be ripped out by the stem

He didn’t kiss you again till college. You were far too gone when it happened. If someone asked the number of drinks shared between the two of you that night, neither of you would have an answer. You drank with the intention of going to a frat party, but neither of you made it there. You tend to be a happy drunk when you’re not wallowing in self pity. Other than the intense feelings you had towards your best friend, you had nothing that night to be sad about. Lip didn’t either. Being around you when you were happy drunk always lifted his mood while drinking too. Having stolen a few unopened bottles from the last party you attended, you didn’t wait to start pouring. 

“I wanna dance,” You said suddenly standing up from Lip’s bed. You put your phone on the table and played the first song you saw. Lip stayed on his bed, sipping slowly at the cup in his hand. He smiled up at you. “Come dance with me.” 

“No no. Trust I’m good right here,” He laughed, shaking his head. You took the cup out of his hand and put it on the table next to yours. Grabbing his hands, you pulled him up and wrapped your arms around his waist. You started swaying side to side, until he surrendered and started moving with you. “I can’t dance.” 

“You dance with plenty of girls at parties,” Your reply was snarky. “So dance with me.” Lip shut up and started leading the two of you as you danced around the room. You let the music take over. The alcohol made the two of you a lot more confident with each other. Lips hands slid around your waist and pulled you close to him. You smiled brightly, happy that he was going along with your request. 

Everytime the music would lead you to drift away from him, Lip would pull you infinitely closer. He wrapped his arm around your waist tightly, trapping you in his grasp. Your breathing stopped once you felt his chest on yours. His face was inches away from yours. You couldn’t hear the music anymore. Lip was the only thing in front of you. His eyes were staring deep into yours, yearning. You had never seen him look at you with such need. 

“Stop trying to run from me, baby” Lip never broke eye contact with you. Seeing blush starting to take over your cheeks, his grip tightened around you. Then his Lips were on yours. They were much drier than they had been when he first kissed you years ago. Yet they were so much sweeter. You couldn’t get enough. You stopped dancing and held him closer. His lips migrated down away from yours, sucking softly on your skin. 

After that night it became more frequent. You slept in his bed almost every night. Craving each other's touch even without alcohol. Everything about it made you feel like you were growing towards a relationship. Lip was soft with you. It didn’t feel like a hookup. You kept convincing yourself if it was, it would have happened years ago. The first kiss would have been more than that. You were comfortable with the silence and the intimacy that was kept in each other's rooms, until one night Lip decided to talk about it. 

“Why do you let me do this?” He hovered above you as you were laying on his bed. He had broken the kiss to ask you the question. Your body stiffened, letting your arms fall from around his shoulders. You weren’t expecting him to ever ask the question. You thought it was obvious that you liked him and you liked being close to him. But the thought of saying it scared the shit out of you. This wasn’t a conversation to be having while sober. Especially with how this started.

“I don’t know..” is all you could say, choking a bit on your words. Lip was looking so intensely at you. “Do you not like it?” 

He shifted to lay down next to you. “I feel like I shouldn’t.” 

“Oh,” you shifted awkwardly. You blushed with embarrassment. You were so confused as to what he was thinking, but you knew you weren’t going to get any answers from him unless you answered his question. “Well, I like this.” 

He stayed silent for a moment, as if he was deep in thought. “You don’t go out with other guys anymore. I’ve noticed it. You don’t talk about anyone when we see each other. I know you have other friends that you could spend time with, but you’re always coming here instead. I don’t think I’m good for you, Y/n. I’m taking you away from other people. If you like me at all, I don’t think we should do this anymore.” 

You hated how well he knew you. He was able to read you like an open book. You knew that if you admitted it, he would stop allowing himself to be this close to you. It’d go back to how it was before the kiss, before he called you baby. 

“It’s not like that. I just like the feeling, that’s all. Don’t worry about my feelings. You’re my best friend. That’s it.” 

Sensing only now it's dying

Drying out then drowning blindly

Blooming forth its every color

In the moments it has left

Amanda came out of nowhere. Suddenly she was taking up all of Lip’s time. Lip had always liked girls that were direct at communicating their wants. And Amanda sure was organized. Not to mention she was rich. 

Despite your agreement with Lip, your feelings didn’t stop growing. You honestly didn’t try to stop loving him. It was so easy to pretend he was yours. He still held your hand in public, brought you snacks in between classes, and fucked you softly before bed. Everything about it felt like love. Unspoken but still there. Maybe it was a weird way that Lip showed his affection to you, even if it was just platonic. You didn’t need it to be anything more than that. You were happy how it was. Even if it meant sharing him with a few one night stands every once in a while. He never called anyone ‘baby’ but you. 

But Amanda meant something different. She had more to offer Lip than you. She was better at school than you and was able to help Lip manage his work even with all the shit going on at home. You tried to help with what you could, but heck she was just better than you with everything. Lip needed the guidance, but it hurt seeing her take him from you. 

When he started calling her his girlfriend, you stayed in bed for a week. You told Lip you were sick and didn't want him visiting you. You shouldn’t have let it affect you as much as it did. He wasn’t your boyfriend. He made it very clear he didn’t want to be, but you were so angry. You just wanted to be alone. For the first few days after he told you, he hadn’t reached out to hang out. In all the years you knew him, there was never more than a day you’d go without seeing each other. It was part of your routine. It’s like he completely forgot you existed. That was what hurt the most, the feeling of being easily replaced. You didn’t reach out to him to see how long it would take for him to notice your absence. On the fourth day he texted you about a question on an assignment. Before you could stop yourself, you texted him back “Fuck you.” It didn’t take long for him to reply. 

Lip: ???????

What the fuck did I do?

He showed up to your door the next day with a slice of dining hall cake. You tried slamming the door on his face but he was too quick to catch it. You returned back to your bed as he entered your room. He stood above your bed silently, staring at you inquisitively. After a few moments he sighed, set the piece of cake on your desk and sat down on the bed next to you. 

“You��re not really sick are you?” He asked quietly. You didn’t reply, causing him to roll his eyes. He asked you to move over so he could lay down next to you. “Baby, what’s wrong? Why won’t you talk to me?” 

“Now you want to talk to me? It’s kind of you to remember your best friend exists.” It all came out a little too harsh, but Lip didn't seem to mind. You turned towards the wall so you didn’t have to face him. He put his arm around your waist and pulled you into his chest. You missed the comfort he brought you, but it didn’t stop you from being angry. Nonetheless you couldn’t bring yourself to move. 

“I never forgot you existed. Why’d you say something like that?” He chuckled slightly. When you didn’t reply, he asked again. “Is this about Amanda?”

“You haven’t talked to me at all,” your voice cracked when you said it. “She’s helping you, I know.. But I’d still appreciate a hello at least.” 

Lip held you closer. “I’m sorry, her schedule is a little intense to get used to. She hasn’t been allowing me any freetime. I told her I needed a bathroom break just to be able to come visit you.” 

“Sounds like abuse,” you mumbled under your breath. Lip laughed softly. He kissed your shoulder. You didn’t know if you should have flinched or relaxed. 

“It’s no excuse to not reach out sooner. I’m sorry.” Lip was trying so hard to get you to loosen up and look at him. He was surprised you hadn’t thrown him off of you by now. His least favorite thing was to see you upset. Your eyes were glued to the wall. “She’s watching Liam right now. I can text her and say I’m staying the night. You can catch me up on everything I missed since I last saw you.” 

“You shouldn’t kiss me,” you told him, voice stern. 

“What?” he asked, confused. 

“You have a girlfriend, you shouldn’t kiss me. That includes the shoulder,” You clarified, also moving your body away from him. You felt him flinch a little. He shifted to holding himself up by one of his arms. You could feel him staring down at you. You had never shifted away from him. He scoffed, sitting up on the bed. 

“What? So you’re jealous?” He had the same tone in his voice he gets when he’s irritated. You rolled your eyes. 

“I don’t know Lip, maybe since you finally committed to being a fucking boyfriend for once you should commit to the full act,” you spat finally looking at him. It gave him the chance to see how tired you were. There were dark circles under your eyes, making the crying you had done over the past few days more evident. You looked so hurt and fragile. Lip wasn’t stupid, but he felt like he had not seen it before. He couldn't be angry seeing you like this. 

He put a hand on your cheek. “You lied to me, didn’t you?” 

You avoided his eyes and scoffed. You knew he was talking about how you swore you didn’t have feelings for him. 

“Y/n, talk to me,” he said, forcing you to look back at him. 

“What the fuck do you want me to say, Lip?” You spat back at him, shoving his hand away from your face. “That I’m secretly in love with you and feel like a piece of garbage you just threw out. Fuck you, Gallagher. I don’t expect you to be my knight in shiny-fucking-armor, but I expect you to be my best friend. You can’t fuck me one night, tell me you have a girlfriend, and crawl back into my bed the next. I don’t know what you see in Amanda and her stupid hello kitty backpack, but what I can’t figure out is what made her look like a better option than me.” 

“She’s not a better option,” Lip argued back immediately. 

“Yeah, then why am I not your girlfriend? What about me makes you think I’d be better off just as a fuck buddy. You’ve been screwing me long enough for me to get the hint. You’ve made it so insanely clear.” 

“See this is exactly why I asked if you liked me, so we wouldn’t end up in this fucking mess.” 

“What would have changed? Honestly, what do you think would happen? You’d stop playing with my feelings, avoid me for months, and let me just sit with the heartbreak of being rejected by a friend who has been acting like my boyfriend for years. While you wait it out until I’m over it so you can come back again? I get you don’t like me, but you really think I was gonna let you add salt to the wound?” 

“Who the fuck said I didn’t like you?” Lip’s voice was irritated but it remained soft and quiet. You looked at him confused, laughing at what he was suggesting. 

“You’re something, Philip Gallagher. Really something,” You scoffed, standing up from the bed. Lip grabbed your hand, pulling you back down. He pushed his lips to your mouth roughly. You let yourself slip into the kiss for a second before pushing him away by his chest. “You’re a prick.” 

“I love you, jesus fucking christ baby,” Lip rolled his eyes. He held his hands firm on each side of your head, keeping you close to his. “Will you just.. shut up for a second? Please.” 

You stared at him silently, tears collecting in your eyes. Lip let out a sigh and kissed your forehead. He knew it was his fault that you were so upset. He never wanted to hurt you this much. He never expected you to fall for him this hard. It was all his mistake. Lip had loved you from the moment he met you, but he was always afraid of his feelings. He didn’t have a healthy relationship with love. Putting you through his shit was never something Lip wanted to put on you. You deserved better. You deserved to go on nice dates, be spoiled with gifts and beautiful words. Lip didn’t know how to give you that. He convinced himself that it was better off to stay friends. It was easier to keep you around as his best friend. He got to see you every day. You talked to him the most out of everyone in your life. He saw your best and worst moments from closer than anyone.  He could admire how beautiful you were without ever worrying about it having to end. 

He could ignore the first kiss but he knew he fucked it all up when you hooked up the first time. It was no longer just adoration. It was selfish of him to put you through this thinking it wouldn’t affect you. His heart was heavy hearing you tell him you loved him. He had always wished to hear you say it, but not now. Not like this. He hated seeing you think that he only wanted to fuck. 

“There is no one else in this world I love more than you,” Lip’s voice was barely above a whisper. His bright blue eyes pierced into yours. He also looked on the verge of tears. You broke eye contact and opened your mouth to talk. Lip shook his head and quickly kissed you to shut you up. “I’m the biggest idiot for letting you think anything different. And I’m sorry. I couldn’t imagine a girl as brilliant as you wanting to be with a prick like me, but I never ever thought you weren’t good enough to be my girlfriend.” 

“What about Amanda, Lip?” 

“She’s paying me a fuck ton of money to say we’re dating so she can piss off her parents,” Lip answered plainly. You looked at him slightly shocked. You couldn’t help but start laughing. Lip laughed with you. “Like soooo much money.” 

“Baby,” Lip said while he grabbed one of your hands in his. You had stopped laughing by now. This was the most honest he had ever been with his feelings. You could tell he was slightly embarrassed by the red of his cheeks. You laced your fingers in his and listened quietly as he spoke. “I never asked you to be my girlfriend because I don't think I’d be a good enough boyfriend to you. I thought it would be better just as we were. I show my affection better in other ways.” 

“It just sucks to see another girl so easily come and take your attention,” You said with a scoff. You studied his hand in yours. Lip was quiet, watching you play with his hand. “I’m comfortable with what we are. But don’t go to someone else and forget I exist. That’s all I ask.” 

“I don’t ever want to hurt you,” Lip said quietly. 

“Then don’t,” Your reply came out as more of a warning. You kissed his cheek.

To share the space with simple living things

Infinitely suffering

But fighting off like all creation

The absence of itself

Anyways…

For years, you sat on the sidelines. Lip tried his best to stick to his promise, but as time went by tension slowly grew. After things ended with Amanda, a part of you hoped he’d turn back and give you a chance. That hope remained through every girl he saw afterwards, but it never happened. You waited for years for the day he would ask you to be his. He loved you, after all. That’s what he told you. It wasn’t unrealistic to hope that one day he’d want to be with you. 

The longer it went on, the more it began hurting you. It was getting harder to watch him grow further from you. Yet you were being dragged right along, forced to watch as he drifted away. You couldn’t escape it. Lip had been waiting for the day he felt like he deserved you, but that also never came. His alcoholism pushed him further into self-pity. You were always there to take care of him. Always extended your arms when he needed to be held. The lack of control made him angry and was ultimately what pushed himself away from you. It destroyed any vision of himself that was good enough to take care of you. So he never tried. He found other women for romantic comfort. 

The two of you kept each other around for as long as possible as it was inevitably tearing you apart. Neither of you had stopped loving each other, but it hadn’t been like it was in college. Reality was setting in. The romance was turning old. Both of you were impatient with each other. Lip didn’t play around with your feelings when he entered into a relationship. He didn’t sleep with you and he would never kiss you. You hoped it was out of respect for you, but you assumed it was to not complicate the new relationship. Neither of you wanted to cheat. 

While recovering from his alcoholism, he met Tammy. This was different from any of his other relationships. It wasn’t hard to tell Lip was learning to love her. You recognized all the signs, how careful he was with her. It was like watching your relationship from afar all over again. You could tell he was scared, but what hurt the most was seeing the effort he put into being better for her. He had told you years ago that he couldn’t treat you well, but Tammy was being offered it all. 

The last time it was heard out loud

The perfect genius of our hands and mouths were shocked

To resignation as the arguing declined

When I was young I used to guess there are limits to any emptiness? 

When was the last time? Come here to me.. When was the last time? 

You were the first person he  shared the news of Tammy’s pregnancy. The heartbreak was worse than what you were preparing for. You listened for what felt like eternity as he told you they were keeping it, that he was planning to raise the child with her. You knew this meant it was over. There would never be anything more than what you had. You were never meant to be his and he was never going to be yours. You couldn’t keep pretending. 

You just stared at him. You didn’t know what to say. Congrats? Fuck you? What hurt the most was how excited he had seemed to tell you the news. You knew how much he wanted to be a father. You were right there with him when he found out Karen’s kid wasn't his. You were standing in front of him as he sat on the steps of his family's house. He was smoking a cigarette. You had never seen him so calm and happy. You wanted to punch him. 

“What? You’re not saying anything,” Lip chuckled, looking at you confused. You hadn’t felt so broken before. It was like he was forgetting who he was talking to. To you, this conversation was an end to your friendship with Lip Gallagher, but he didn’t realize that. He was just sharing the good news.  “Not even congrats?” 

“I don’t think we should see eachother anymore,” You responded, never breaking eye contact with the boy. Lips face dropped. He felt his heart fall into his stomach. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. You had been fine with how things were. Lip had thought he kept his promise. He never stopped making time for you. You were his best friend and always the first he shared good news with. He thought this would be the same. But in his excitement, he failed to consider how you’d feel hearing the news. He couldn’t read your expression. You looked so tired. If you were holding back tears, Lip couldn't see. 

Lip stood up and walked closer to you. He went to grab your hand, but you put one up to his chest, preventing him from moving any closer. 

“I have spent far too long waiting for something that was never going to happen,” You watched him as his expression changed from confusion, fear, then realization. “I’m done waiting for you to decide when you're ready to love me.” 

“I have been loving you,” Lip said defensively. He always feared this moment, the one where you had enough and walked away. He couldn’t lose you now. “What fucking happened? We talked about this, I thought we were good.” 

“I have watched you get closer to love with countless other women than you have ever gotten with me. I will not watch you raise another woman’s child happily and pretend like you love me,” you said,  shaking your head. 

“You’re just gonna leave? That's it? We’ve been friends for our entire fucking lives and suddenly I get a chance to be happy and build something for myself, and you want to leave,” Lip didn’t know what he was accusing you of, but he thought you were over the relationship years ago. You stayed around because you were his friend, not because you wanted to be with him. 

“YOU ARE HAVING ANOTHER WOMAN’S CHILD,” You screamed. “And you think I’m going to believe you when you say you love me? This isn’t some shit I can be with you for. You have responsibilities to her and your child now. You expect me to play aunt and raise the child with you?  And watch you live my fucking dream out with someone else? I know you love her. Just fucking admit it, you love her more than you ever loved me. I can’t watch this. I can’t be on the sidelines  after insisting you could never give it to me.” 

“I love her,” Lip stated. You went silent. You felt your shoulders grow heavy. You sat down on the steps of his porch. Your head fell into your hands. “You’re right. I love her and I’m going to love this kid. It’s not fair to expect you to stick around for it. I’m sorry.” 

There was a moment of silence. Relief sank in. You could let go now. He was never going to be yours and knowing that felt good. The heartbreak you were feeling now would settle. It was over. Lip sat down on the step beside you. You looked across the street. 

“You know, for years, I’d ask myself if this was ever gonna end? There were moments I really wished it would, but I couldn’t decide if life felt emptier without you or with you,” You said quietly. You could feel Lip’s heavy breathing beside you. 

“You were so much better than I could ever take care of, Baby. I couldn’t give you what you deserved.” It sounded like an apology coming from his mouth. Hearing him say it brought tears to your eyes. It was the last time you’d ever hear him say it. 

You turned to him and smiled. “Baby… You never even tried.” 

Some part of me must have died 

The final time you called me baby

But some part of me came alive

The final time you called me baby

#lip gallagher #lip gallagher x reader #lip gallagher x y/n #shameless #jeremy allen white x reader #lip gallagher angst #lip gallagher imagine #lip gallagher x you #phillip gallagher #jeremy allen white

[torialefay]

this may be kind of an unusual question so feel free to ignore it, but i tend to make lots of links and associations of concepts/situations with music and stuff and so i'm curious, what are some songs that you'd pick to describe what it would be like to be in a relationship with chan? or some songs that suit his placements (for example, i think work song by hozier is peak scorpio venus devotion level haha)

okay i LOVE this question!!! (also currently in a hozier phase so i love that you brought up that song.) if you have any other recs, pls send them my way, but here's some that had come to mind:

✨🎶 Dating Channie Sounds Like 🎶✨

the friendship/relationship stage:

i don't think it's just me who thinks that chan is gonna have to know & be friends with someone before progressing to a romantic relationship. i think he could definitely pine over someone for a while and be too scared to say anything. and then if something DID happen between the two of you, you would have to hide it for a while. that's why i chose these 2 songs :)

• human - dodie ft tom walker ✨

• hush hush - the band camino✨

actual committed relationship phase:

• medicine - royal sugar ✨ this gives me such new-relationship, pent-up sexual tension vibes. this man would not be able to stop thinking ab you sexually when you first get together... 100%. sex w/ him is likely initially more fun, like in this song, but once he gets to KNOW you, it gets wayyyy deeper

• tenerife sea - ed sheeran ✨ this one might be a cop-out bc chan has sung it multiple times on channie's room but i couldn't NOT put it in here. moving past the superficial, this song paints such a new, mesmerizing love story. you are elated you finally found your person.

• mess is mine - vance joy ✨ i'm sorry but the lyrics "this body is yours and mine" & "now your mess is mine" is so channie-coded to me. he is offering himself up to you. anything you want from him is yours & he will take on all of your hurt

• fire and the flood AND lay it on me - vance joy ✨ these were just so all-encompassing, i couldn't not include them. you become the most consuming part of his life. he quite literally can't go a day without thinking of you and how fucking attached his heart is to yours. you are his everything and only thing. "i always feel you in my blood" & "your love's always finding me out."

• until you - ahi ✨ this song isn't as relevant NOW, but it really throws me into a pre-debut channie love story tbh. bless his little heart 💔 i couldn't NOT include it bc it's still beautiful.

• anointed - miguel AND religion - lana del rey ✨ these have the same purpose, so i'm including them together. when channie is truly in love with you, he won't fuck you- he fucking worships you. well, you worship each other in the bedroom. and i feel this a million times. he needs something deeper and he needs to feel consumed in it. praising each other until you physically have no stamina left in your body.

tough times/drifting apart/ fights:

sorry but i had to include a couple of angsty songs i could totally see playing out in a relationship w channie </3

• fleeting love - royal sugar ✨ i 100% see this song being about your struggles with a long distance relationship. not being able to work anything out, but also not being able to let them go. "in the elevator with your passport, goodbye is 10 floors down." you just want him so badly, but you don't know you can do this. you werebso happy to have him, even if just for a little bit.

• berenstein - the band camino ✨ chan always talks about alternate universes, so i had to add this one in. the line "at another place in time, you were infinitely mine," it makes me think so much about if you were perfect with channie, and you both knew that... but you simply couldn't be with him because of his idol life. but you knew that somewhere out there in a parallel universe, he wasn't an idol, and you were together like you were meant to be :((((

bonus song:

this song reminds me SO MUCH of chris. the first time i heard it, i instantly thought of him. it isn't a love song by any means, it just makes me think of him && his life ❤️

• time's eyes - riley pearce ✨

if anyone has a song they automatically think of with channie, pls pls pls let me knowwww!!!

#bangchan stray kids #bang chan #bangchan imagines #bangchan scenarios #bangchan x you #bangchan x reader #bangchan soft thoughts #skz soft thoughts #skz fluff #bangchan fluff #stray kids #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines

[aethelwyneleigh27]

I HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO HOZIER NON-STOP FOR THE PAST 6 HOURS.

If you guys know his songs "Too Sweet" and "Work Song", YOU CANNOT TELL ME SIMON RILEY ISN'T CODED IN THOSE SONGS, LIKE I KNOW THE HARDENED LIEUTENANT MORE LIKELY DOESN'T LISTEN TO THOSE KINDS OF SONGS BUT YOU CAN'T TELL ME THOSE SONGS AREN'T HIM ENGRAINED IN LYRICS.

There's so many ways to interpret "Too Sweet" and though the original meaning of the song is rejection, I have another way in mind to interpret it. So the question is, what do you want me to post first? These post will carry angst, I have no promises of a happy ending but I'll do my best to make it work.

And yes, although I know it's a rejection song, I will say early on that I will interpret it far different than what others will because I want to sway it a little bit on the end goal. I need happy endings too yk.

I'M FUCKING OBSESSED WITH HOZIER, IS THIS A NEW PHASE?

Also would y'all be interested in a Simon Riley dating playlist from my music taste??

@wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @shadofireshinobi @thelightdjinnofpalestine @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @fawnchives @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000 @iexiam

#cod x reader #aethelwyne lia writes #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #cod headcanons #simon ghost riley x reader #aethelwyne lia answers #ghost x you #simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost #ghost cod #ghost #ghost x plus size reader #ghost x female reader #ghost x y/n #simon ghost riley x gender neutral reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley x plus size reader #simon riley x you #simon riley #simon ghost x you #simon riley x y/n #hozier #too sweet hozier #work song hozier

[pearwaldorf]

This is an introduction to Hozier playlist for my friend @junemermaid. The categories are a little idiosyncratic, but I think they make sense. I don't know what music services you have access to, so there are no links. I trust you can figure out how to get access to the songs.

Things I didn't know I needed words for until I heard these songs

Foreigner's God

Butchered Tongue (an introduction to the song from the Choctaw Theater in Oklahoma)

(additional reading: “A’ghailleann”: On Language-Learning and the Decolonisation of the Mind, by my friend Iona. It is about Gaelic and not having access to the first language you spoke, and how we deal with those sorts of things.)

Wry narration from self-aware narrators

Jackie and Wilson

Almost (Sweet Music)

Nobody

(What I mean is in contrast to something like this from Lord Huron. The narrator's a fucking idiot but I'm not sure he's aware of that.)

Horny but not really about sex (but not not either)

De Selby Part 2 (the video, starring fellow Irishman Domhnall Gleeson, is so pretentious, I love it to bits)

Talk (the song I'm totally going to make a Hannigram vid to, one of these days I swear)

NFWMB

Yes he really is Like That, Tumblr was not exaggerating

In a Week

Like Real People Do

In the Woods Somewhere

To be fair, I think he's gotten away from this a lot more since the debut album. People mean the bog prince nonsense affectionately, but I think they also use it as an excuse to ignore his more political songs. (On the other hand, the oatmeal.)

The way white people should cover songs by Black artists

Say My Name (more info on why he decided to cover it)

Problem > Regulate (As a child of the 90s I respect this so much)

The ones I'm really fucking angry about because they're gorgeous and beautiful and poetic

Work Song (the second song I would put on any Shepard/Garrus playlist)

Shrike

Unknown / Nth (this is an Aziraphale/Crowley song to me; the bridge fucking took me out at the knees the first time I heard it)

Abstract (Psychopomp) (This song is deeply weird in the best way. It is the perfect early oughts pop song I always wanted from Coldplay but it's about a formative and somewhat disturbing event in the narrator's childhood. But also about romantic love somehow?)

Unreal Unearth is, I think, a level up in terms of poetic lyricism.

The prettiest song you will ever hear about domestic violence and is really weird to sing along to live because of that

Cherry Wine

A disturbingly well-adjusted breakup song

All Things End

That random EDM song he did a couple years ago that's actually really good??

Tell It To My Heart

#hozier

[blackberrywars]

♥️Lambert/Aiden Fic Reclist!♥️

For anybody and everybody interested in Lambert, Aiden, and/or their relationship! I've been obsessed with these two since the start of the pandemic, and they inspired me to start writing my own fic, so making a reclist has always been an idea in the back of my head. Plus, it's come to my attention that the tag can get crowded sometimes, so, Laiden fans, this one's for you.

Parameters: I've decided to divide my recs based on common story types that explore Laiden both in and out of canon. Other ships are allowed, but the focus is Lambert/Aiden. Additionally, I put a cap on 3 fics max per author. These are not arranged in any particular order beyond the categories.

——————————————————————————————

♥️Lambert's Revenge/Aiden's Death or Return♥️

(i know dead people, and you are not dead) by @brighteyedjill (Explicit/5,940/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Lambert finds Aiden after ten years of torture, maimed and broken. They retire and learn each other once again, mind, body, and soul.

I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory by CamilleDuDemon (Mature/2,327/Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death)

Aiden dies on a beautiful sunny day, while Lambert waits for him in their usual meeting place. Witchers cannot love and witchers never die in their beds. If only neither of those were true.

No Grave by @blackberrywars (Mature/2293/No Archive Warnings Apply)

A shameless self-rec, because I'm very proud of this fic. To the tune of Hozier’s Work Song, Aiden crawls from her almost-grave, determined to see her baby wolf again.

Fair Trade by Anoke (Mature/40,373/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Karadin sells Aiden to a mage, and he becomes an experiment, trapped in his own head while searching for a way out. It's a series, and this is the part where shit gets ugly.

Very Dark Magic by @bomberqueen17 (Mature/23,683/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Aiden is once more getting tortured and mind-controlled by a mage, but luckily enough and via the power of psychic beams, Keira and Lambert find him. And Lambert's pissed.

Roses Fall but the Thorns Remain by @t4tlambert (Teen/1,458/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert holds Aiden's medallion in his hands, and he knows what it means. He pays for the privilege of having this last piece of his lover, and falls apart for just a moment.

No Grave Can Hold My Body Down by @t4tlambert (Teen/14,414/No Archive Warnings Apply)

A fellow Hozier-lyric-title user. Aiden crawls out of his grave and is found by Eskel, who begrudgingly decides to not piss off his little brother and does his best to keep his Cat alive.

Fortunes of the Fearless by @tumbleweedtech (Teen/627/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert is a vicious bastard, and Aiden is lucky enough to be around to appreciate it, even if Lambert's victim is long dead and drowned.

Survival by @kitdubhran (Teen/1,278/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Aiden wakes up in enough pain that he kind of wishes he hadn't. But he does wake up. And we all know who he's gonna go find.

♥️Getting Together & Being Together♥️

Intent by tnico (Teen/18,551/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert does everything in his crotchety (open to interpretation) power to get Aiden to reveal his devious plans and fuck off, except all he wants is to be by Lambert's side. Incredible characterization, funny as hell, and awesome research footnotes.

Bad Blood (Runs True) by @fairytrashmother (Teen/8,368/No Archive Warnings Apply)

The Tournament never happened, and the Cats and Wolves are actually trying to make peace. A young pup and a young kit might just solve their problems

Silver for Monsters by @crimsonherbarium (Explicit/108,559/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

A canon-compliant look at the development of Laiden with awesome cover art and plenty of angst in later chapters. Lambert is slow to trust, so the burn follows thus.

Lacebound by @heronfem (Mature/39,391/Graphic Depictions of Violence)

Lambert and Aiden as young witchers in winter, lacebound by the fucked-up system they live in, and soon, lacebound to each other. Extremely nuanced politics, people, and circumstances, but also something like a college AU, if Bombs 101 was a class

Denial by tnico (Teen/16,989/No Archive Warnings Apply)

This fic quite possibly wins the award for bitchiest Lambert dialogue in existence, and no one loves it more than me and Aiden. They go a-curse-breakin' and have a grand old time together. More awesome research footnotes

Therapeutic Effects by @laurelnose (Teen/900/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert finds Aiden purring himself back to health, and it's mad cute (but also hilarious because Lambert is Lambert)

Fuck Off: A Love Story (In 5+1 Parts) by @skaldingrayne (Mature/17,080/Graphic Depictions of Violence)

Despite all his efforts to appear the contrary, Lambert is just a bit too noble (and then a bit too horny and a bit too in love) to let this mangy Cat die by his own stupidity. He's still gonna bitch about it tho.

i won't say i'm in **** by @purpurred (Mature/5,848/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Keira arranges for a Cat to fulfill one of Lambert's more private fantasies, and Lambert takes it in the worst way possible. That doesn't mean he can stop thinking about the way Aiden held a poisoned knife to his throat.

ease me of its fever by @inexplicifics (Mature/5,226/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Omega Lambert has spent so many years saying absolutely-the-fuck-not-i'll-rip-your-cock-off that it's more than a little difficult to say yes. Aiden is so, so patient.

mountains that are stacked with fear by @xianvar (Mature/11,171/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert, being Lambert, assumes the beautiful love confession he found in Aiden's bag was actually a prank, and lashes out accordingly. He gets his shit together, and his Cat, eventually.

♥️Meeting the Family♥️

Lambert's two orens' man by Ledgea (Teen/1,861/No Archive Warnings Apply)

One part in an incredible series about the slow development of Aiden and Lambert, but it's just a fun bit of Eskel getting to see his baby brother happy

Hide and seek by Ledgea (Mature/6,617/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert sneaks Aiden into Kaer Morhen, and his whole cohort of bastard pups work hard to cover his ass while causing as many problems as witcherly possible; part 1 of 3

a promise to keep by @all-hail-the-witcher (Teen/983/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Tooth-rotting fluff of Aiden in Kaer Morhen, appreciating the effects of good, regular meals on Lambert's physique. Cutagen biscuits are made.

Winter with the Caravan by @damnbert (Teen/14,229/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert goes home with Aiden for a while, and all the other Cats take the opportunity to take the absolute piss out of them both (and maybe do a little matchmaking on the side)

Lambert's Family by @freudensteins-monster (Teen/5,901/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert hides his biological family until he finally feels safe enough not to. They might be growing up around him, but they still welcome him home every year, and they welcome the Wolves and Cats too.

Did he who made the Lamb make thee? by @tumbleweedtech (General Audiences/1,461/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Being the (asshole) older brothers that they are, Geralt and Eskel constantly rib Lambert about being the littlest wolf, and that his mysterious cat must be pint-sized to match. Lambert is happy to prove them wrong.

♥️Good Old Fashioned Smut♥️

wild green wonder by elizabethgee (Explicit/42,554/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Laiden smut in just about every configuration you can think. Sweet and tender, rough and wild, this one has it all. If you like a dom!Aiden and repressed sub!Lambert, this is stellar

Lambert's (Not-So) Mysterious Vial of Oil by @on-a-lucky-tide (Explicit/11,291/No Archive Warnings Apply)

The Lambert-kicks-ass-at-alchemy headcanon applied to sex. He receives (heh), and then passes his glorious knowledge of lube onto a his student, Aiden

Sweeter Than Pride by @blackberrywars (Explicit/2524/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Another self-rec for the f/f lovers. Lambert is a sweet brat and earns herself a spanking so good she cries. Aiden freaks out a little, but after it all, they fall asleep spooned together

An Evening of Frippery by @bard-llama (Explicit/3,105/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert being a power bottom whose gender is "mind your fucking business," but who nonetheless looks fantastic with his exquisitely tailored skirts hiked to his waist

I Like how the day sounds through this new song by Lynge (Explicit/9,222/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Some porn with plot where Aiden forces Lambert to confess to petty theft and also his deep and abiding romantic feelings (in that order).

Problem by elizabethgee (Explicit/1,977/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

In a fic I've just now realized has the exact same premise as one of my wips, Aiden is obsessed with Lambert's thick ass thighs and will do anything to ride them

Cut You Clean by GreenBird (Explicit/4,203/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert loses a bet and has to let Aiden shave him. It has some... interesting effects on him.

Thicker than Water (and Other Poetic Bullshit) by @kushielsmercy (Explicit/2,835/No Archive Warnings Apply)

A mini-character study of Aiden and Lambert through the lens of some filthy blood-play. They're both far more possessive and codependent than they'd want to admit.

Puppies Don't Talk by @damnbert (Explict/8,725/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Very kink-heavy fic of Lambert going fully into subspace and getting to be taken care of for a while. He can't bring himself to really ask for what he wants, but puppies don't talk anyway.

all dressed up (with no place to go) by @childoffantasy (Explicit/6,707/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert fulfills the redhead contract of wearing green and killing it dead, and there's just enough room under his pretty skirt for Aiden to crawl right up it

Thief's Reward by @inexplicifics (Explicit/1,592/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Maybe Lambert shouldn't reward this handsome Cat for stealing his kill, but it's been awhile, and he might as well get something out of the bargain (it's orgasms. and 60% of the corpse profits)

Dichotomy by @tantumuna (Explicit/25,054/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Extremely kink-heavy fic where Aiden and Lambert switch to see whose methods can get Aiden pregnant the fastest.

Kneel For Me by @alllthequeenshorses (Explicit/2,269/No Archive Warning Apply)

Lambert can only really let go with Aiden, and as soon as he can, it's a freefall. Aiden's there to hold him tight. It's some kinky reunion smut, come get a helping.

Catch and Release by @top-notch-swords (Explicit/9,570/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Aiden is deeply possessive and more than willing to manipulate the situation to remind Lambert exactly who he belongs to. Filthy alley sex and a little codependency that they should probably talk about but actually just fuck about

♥️One-Shot Roulette♥️

A Logical Conclusion by @heronfem (Mature/18,674/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Essentially the thesis of Laiden shippers, seeing Lambert's prickly ass and knowing the only logical conclusion is that he must have loved Aiden very deeply, even across space, time, and AUs

Wheel of the Year by @crimsonherbarium (Explicit/20,717/No Archive Warnings Apply)

A series of Lambert and Aiden celebrating the holidays on the outskirts of society, but finding twice the joy for it. Lots of smut, but also sweetness and angst.

You and I (and what we get up to) by @iwillpooponthefloor (Explicit/19,396/No Archive Warnings Apply)

ABCs of Laiden that focus on them as a team of two. They pull off contracts, schemes, and each other, from time to time.

Purr For Me by @round--robin (Explicit/8,407/No Archive Warnings Apply)

A whole bunch of short and sweet snapshots into Laiden. I couldn't put them on this list, but Robin has a lot of other fics combining Laiden with other ships.

♥️Modern AUs♥️

A Beginners Guide to Exploiting the Kaedweni Tax Code For Fun and Profit by @heronfem (Mature/167,193/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert and Aiden get accidentally married and decide to make it work for the tax benefits. And then they fall in love. And work through trauma. And get a cat. And it's gorgeously written.

What Happens at Waffle House by Anoke (Teen/1,993/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

The rituals are intricate, and Lambert's sometimes involve mutual combat with the Waffle House line cook. Somehow, the feral gremlin gets a date out of it.

All those wonders sit in wait for us by Theladyknight23 (Teen/14,847/No Archive Warnings Apply)

My fellow fem!Laiden crusader with a delightful modern take on witchers as a combination between truckers and pest control workers. Americana themes and the best additional tag ever: "love is like bread."

The Bark that's to Your Bite by @theimpressionablelizard (Explicit/12,976/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Where Lambert is Deadpool pre-mutation and he falls in bounty hunter love with Aiden, who I personally imagine looks like Dev Patel from the Green Knight. A little romance, a little co-worker wolves, and lots of swearing.

Three Cats Walk Into A Bar by @halehathnofury (Teen/2,607/No Archive Warnings Apply

Inspired by the lovely @whyzowl's art, it's the Wolves + Ciri dressing Lambert up to get him laid, and Aiden taking the bait.

Helpless, Feckless, Far Too Young by @keirametzbrassknuckles (Mature/14,605/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

The Wolves are a traveling group after a death in the family, and Lambert is so fucking sick of them acting like nothing is wrong. He meets Aiden, and they get on like a fairgound on faire. Written by my personal mistress of angst.

♥️Miscellaneous♥️

Once, Again by @brighteyedjill (Mature/4,521/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Aiden has to save Lambert in a time loop without explaining anything, but we all know Lambert doesn't trust easy. Sometimes the simplest solution is the right one.

The Art of Living by Ledgea (Explicit/25,636/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Lambert loving people as the story of an art gallery, a skill honed from his cohort to his brothers to Aiden, The Damn Cat, when he makes his appearance.

Fields of color by @witcherscrane (Mature/2,057/Major Character Death)

In the wake of Aiden's death, Lambert follows a beautiful illusion with a smile on his face. His brothers help him find rest.

Give Us A Smile by @etcorsolus (Mature/2,945/No Archive Warnings Apply)

A 5+1 of Aiden making Lambert smile. Textual adaptation of that one post "look at you! you're so handsome when you're not being a bitch."

The Basics by @kushielsmercy (Mature/375/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Aiden gets possessed, and Lambert has a choice to make. Ambiguous ending.

Ashes in His Mouth by Faetality (Mature/3,924/Graphic Depictions of Violence)

Fear makes humans cruel. It makes them not care who gets tied to the stake, so long as they can breathe easy while the victim drowns in smoke. Or, Lambert suffers, and Aiden watches.

remember me as i was not as i am by @all-hail-the-witcher (Explicit/40,248/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Aiden has been dead for a very long time, long enough that Lambert has long since forgotten his face. It's just in time for a beautiful man with green eyes to break in through his window and ask for his services.

Deafening Silence by @wolf-and-bard (Explicit/13,230/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Destiny is a stubborn bitch, but it hasn't Lambert, who doesn't give a rat's ass that he's never meant to see Aiden again.

A Spot of Blood by MsThunderFrost (Explicit/3,440, No Archive Warnings Apply)

How the phrase "Pops didn't raise a quitter" turns into a "sex sent me to the ER" story for Lambert, because he's a stubborn bastard who would rather injure himself than communicate.

——————————————————————————————

Let me say a few things outright, because I want zero drama.

This reclist is for the benefit of Laiden fans, and is not meant as a criticism of any other ship or fic.

The fics chosen for this reclist are only ones I have read. It is by no means comprehensive, and definitely favors older fics, since that was when I was deepest in the fandom.

I actually had to cut this short because I hit some kind of content block limit, which. Oh welp. If anyone wants me to remove their fic from this list for any reason, PM me and I'll do it asap

#the witcher #the witcher fanfiction #lambert #aiden #laiden #witcher lambert #witcher aiden #lambden

[cleolinda]

Here's another song I had wanted to write about: Hozier's "Movement." It is a fact of my existence that I get into a musical artist/band about 10 years after everyone else does, and then they become 30% of my personality (see also: Florence and the Machine). So I didn't really get with the program until Wasteland, Baby, and even then, it was for an unusual reason.

When did this album come out, spring of 2019? I had spinal surgery in early 2018. A discectomy, L4/L5; the disc had gradually become herniated due to a fall I'd had at a convention. My surgeon was required to warn me that surgery would come with a (low) chance of paralysis; it was my choice to make. After two weeks of seizing up in pain every hour or so, confined to my bed—hydrocodone did nothing—I chose the scalpel. Even then, it was another four weeks before he could work me into the operating schedule. Trust me when I say, no matter how I'm doing now, I do not regret having that surgery.

But he also told me, "You will always be a person who has had spinal surgery." Since anything was better than screaming every time I moved, I didn't fully understand what he meant until a year or so later, when I was still in pain—a chronic but lower-grade pain that came and went depending on how much activity I dared try that particular day. It was infinitely better than before. And, but, yet, I still deal with that chronic pain today. I will always be that person.

"Walk," he told me. I had a packet of therapy exercises to do, sure, but he was firm on this point. "That's the main exercise you need. Just walking." Which I couldn't do at first—I didn't have to learn to walk again or anything, but I was in a wheelchair early on, then on a wheeled walker for a couple of months. I also have inherited neuropathy in my feet, which was exacerbated by electrically painful sciatic nerve damage down my right leg while I waited for my slot in the surgery calendar. (I swear to God I will start talking about music soon.) I only walk across the longest side of my backyard. I don't leave it and walk around the neighborhood, because I generally have about two minutes upright to get back to the house once my feet start hurting.

So I had been struggling with my walking assignment for about a year when "Movement" came out. Of course it's literally about physically moving (and emotionally being moved), but that wasn't what captured me. The song starts out slow and reflective; it was a gentle tempo for a time when I couldn't walk very fast, and I still use it as a warm-up today. But there are two other things I love about it. One, the willow tree in the chorus, as I was walking my little runway back and forth under a canopy of wild water oak draped with wisteria, looking up into the sun through the leaves and snowflake flowers of an overgrown cherry laurel. Sound met landscape.

But the other thing is how—generous? accepting?—the words are of the "you" of the song. This person, the lyrics say, does not have to be a virtuoso dancer like Fred Astaire or Sergei Polunin (who's in the video up there). Instead, "you're Atlas in his sleeping, and when you move, I'm moved." My absolute favorite part is,

Move like grey skies Move like a bird of paradise Move like an odd sight come out at night

What the fuck even are these lyrics. I can't. That's so good. You ever sit there as a writer and think, I'm so mad I didn't come up with that? Just the pure unexpectedness, "I'm telling you how earthshakingly amazing this person is. Like a beautiful willow, like a rare bird, like some weird-ass cryptid in the night, I don't even know what that was about but I love it." What even. So good.

And I was for sure an odd sight shambling back and forth across the back of my yard: five minutes at first. Then ten the next week, working my way up to thirty, still in a dull roar of constant pain a year into my recovery. But this is a song that says, your efforts to move are moving, whatever movement is natural for you; you may be sleeping just now, you may be moving without moving, but you are wonderful not in spite of being strange in your movements, but because of it. The song always feels like a friend walking along with me, no matter how many setbacks I have, or how slow I have to go.

Anyway, Unreal Unearth comes out next Friday. The five songs Hozier's put out so far are ridiculously good, and I've scheduled a couple of months to be completely feral about it. When the weather is less dangerously hot, we'll find out which songs are good to move to.

#music #music discussion #me for some reason #long post #hozier

[lovelyfaustus]

here's some more hcs about claude (my babygirl)

claude faustus x modern! reader hcs (platonic)

basically the setting is u somehow ending up at alois' place n chillin like a villain named dylan and also befriending claude 🎉 imma sneak in some alois hcs as well🙏

---------------

🕷️when you first showed up, claude honestly had no real opinion of you, just that you looked odd and very out of place (who are you???? what??)

🕷️after alois let you reside with them, claude's interest in you would only grow

-who are you? where did you come from? why are you here? what even.....???

🕷️claude would lie and say alois ordered him to come find you and ask some questions, such as your name, your age, why you look so....weird (fashion and perhaps makeup-wise), and how you ended up at the trancy estate

- alois asked you all that shiz when you first pulled up, claude will just say alois forgot or something

🕷️eventually you would end up saying you were from the 21st century, and he would look at you and think.."what"

-i mean if you got hoodies and sweatpants and sneakers, it wouldn't be hard to believe that you were not from the 19th century.

🕷️fast forward some few months after getting to know you a little more, you would find some way of getting your phone to work in alois' mansion

🕷️if you played some music out loud, claude would be curious, asking you what the song is about or how humanity has crashed so hard that it considered "that" music (only bc it's significantly different than the Victorian era)

🕷️claude would like hozier, dodie, some pierce the veil and get scared

🕷️he won't really like taylor swift much, but he can admit he may slightly enjoy some of her songs, especially the lyricism, but only a little 😉

🦋alois would absolutely fucking LOVE upbeat, 21st century music. like the kinda stuff that trends on tiktok these days

🦋he would also wanna play dress up with some of your clothes, because in his eyes, they are bizarre costumes (they look weird as hell to him)

🦋you would invite him to some karaoke type stuff and he would go all out, especially on songs that are suggestive (claude would sigh, what have you done to alois)

🕷️claude would consider you tolerable, but actually he does enjoy your company; it's new and it brings some sort of excitement to his long, boring life

🦋alois prolly forgot all about claude besides demanding him to do things or bring things for both of you. you're his best friend now, good luck🙏

#black butler #claude faustus #kuroshitsuji #black butler headcanons #alois trancy #kuroshitsuji headcanons #yana toboso #alois trancy headcanons #ciel phantomhive #sebastian michaelis #claude x reader #alois x reader #claude faustus x reader #alois trancy x reader #loveeeeee #i love themmmm #plssss

[slavicafire]

Also wanted to come out and say I agree with you on his work. Not the best he's done. And don't get me started on 'too sweet' being thrown into every fucking thing rn. Idk I also feel like a snob when I talk like this but like music can be so personal and when ur artist blows up and suddenly every ones on the bandwagon now you feel a way.

ah, yeah - I started listening to him when I discovered arsonist's lullaby and cherry wine, and only once I downloaded that album to check out the rest of the songs I heard take me to church for the first time, and then it started to be on the polish radio a lot. and with take me to church I didn't mind - I was glad for the popularity, the exposure, I was so happy to hear him on the radio, even if it was just that one single.

and then as he got more popular somehow most of the fans started giving him this cringe badge of a mythical magical forest demigod daddy, and it just... not only was it annoying and inaccurate but also so wildly offensive to the musicians that inspired him originally. it simultaneously discounted his personal and intimate approach with poetry and irish folklore notes woven in as well as the drive and accomplishments of iconic black musicians.

and I absolutely loved this mythical and folk part of his music, don't get me wrong - I mean, it takes one look at my blog - but equating all of his work just to that was so shallow. and also made me have that snob-like moment of, hey, I don't think you actually know his music if you think that's the extent of it.

too sweet had that original hozier album feel for me - you know, a bit rougher, less folk, lyrically playful instead of poetic. hopefully he'll make more music in that style again, and hopefully the tiktok and ig reels hype will die down soon so I can listen to it again.

[my-moonagedaydream]

Excepts from the first three chapters of my jegulus coffee au fic that make me scream

Chapter 1 - Rise and Shine Love

“Meanwhile, as the clock neared 8:00 am James tried taking someone's order but stared at the person. They were gorgeous. Their eyes shone in the light from the windows, they held themselves with such grace it was captivating. You would think James was watching someone launch a rocket ship into space with the look on his face.” (James you’re very obvious)

“You’re fucking kidding, you’re James Potter?”

“Oh, so you know me?” James asks smiling even higher

“Of course I know you, my brother talks about you like you’re a god.” “

“James’ face tingled and he knew he may burn those who flew too close. But he was far too careless to even fathom Regulus being one of those people.

Although when Regulus sent that text he knew he may be flying too close, but not close enough. He had to try harder this time.”

Chapter 2 - Runners High (the song by MUNA)

“Oh, what would Regulus be wearing? Oh, screw it he would look good in anything what was he thinking?” (James babe…)

“oh but Sirius is going to look so good tonight. He sent me a photo of the outfit he’s wearing tonight and I nearly left work early. Sorry James…” (Remus honey we know you’re in love with him)

“Oh, Regulus looked good. So damn good. How was James going to get him? God James was screwed. He was reaching so far out of his comfort zone but god, he had to try didn’t he?”

“That stupid smile. God, how could he look so good? How is Sirius friends with all the hot people? First Remus and now James? He really needs to get out more and find his own hot people.” (Reg babe you have hot friends too)

“After all he had been heartbroken and what else does a heartbroken teenage boy do than write poetry and song lyrics?”

“I mean I wrote more than half of their songs, half of which are absolute hits. If you think I’m prideful, you’ve seen nothing.”

Chapter 3 - Sunlight (yes like the hozier song)

“That was until Regulus Black walked through those doors ready to wreck James from the inside out. His steps never faltered but boy did James’ heart. “

“His name rolled off James’ tongue as if he was toying with it.”

“Regulus finally looked at James and caught his eyes. They were glowing like sunlight. Like the light hit them perfectly and made them shine just enough so it never outshone the sun.”

“That nice ass smile James loved so much. “

“Did Regulus have a lover? Oh probably. He’s the prettiest person known to man, of course, someone already hit him up.”

“It was heavy in symbolism but James knew something was hiding even further than the between the lines. It was hiding in the depth of the lyrics where nobody except Regulus would understand. “

“James said his name like it was honey that just melted off his tongue.”

“Some people walk with a pep in their step but regulus? He walked with pure assertiveness. Despite the aura surrounding him, his eyes lit up the moment he looked at James. It was almost like he’d found sunlight after years in a dark cave. “

That’s it the fic is called The Secret to the Sun and the Stars (my username on ao3 is PH4N70M) have a great day :)

#jegulus #james potter #regulus black #wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #evan rosier #coffee shop au #marauders #harry potter

[alovesongtheywrote]

hi i just binged nightmare academia and i’m deeply deeply obsessed with you and your writing. it’s 2 am in the morning. (worth it)

♥ Summary: dkfhskdfj big thank you, that's genuinely such an honour- i really hope you like this chapter!! im posting it at 4 am bc night owl solidarity <3 In this chapter of Nightmare Academia, a community recuperates and Spencer comes back to you. [Prof!Spencer Reid x GN-Prof!Reader]

♥ Warnings: gun violence, grief, hospitals, and mentions of alcohol

♥ A/N: fun fact: on the ao3 cross post, this chapter and the one after it are named after hozier lyrics. im a basic bitch, it's work song

♥ Word Count: 2297

Series Masterlist

♥♥♥

There was a shooting near the community center.  

You weren’t there at the time.  You weren’t even close.  You were at home when it happened, and you were at home when you found out.  The little jingle for breaking news stories cut through the ambient sounds of a droning weather report, replacing it with something more intense than a report on the rain.

In an instant, images of the community center surrounded by police cars, wandering officers, and caution tape filled your screen.  You froze, blood turning to ice as you watched the police mill around your second place of work.  You could feel your extremities growing colder and colder as your mind slipped off into shock.  Someone had been shot.  Someone was hurt.  Part of your community was bleeding.

The rest of the broadcast sounded like static, but you got the gist.  Whoever was shot was in critical condition.  There was “no threat to the public.”  Police had already apprehended a suspect.

Before you could fully process what had happened, you were scrolling through the contacts on your phone.

Your first call was to the community center.  For once, it went straight to voicemail.  

Your second call went to Sheryl- the receptionist who shared a shift with you.  She was shaken, but alright, and she confirmed that all of the community center staff were in the same condition.  Scared, but okay.  Shocked, but alright.  They were going to be fine.  You thanked her, comforted her, and let her hang up first.

Your next call went to Missy.  She didn’t pick up.  You moved on, making a few other calls to a few other community center students, checking in on everyone you could.  

Frank did not pick up.  

Adam did not pick up.

Most of the others did.  Most of your students were freaked out, but fine.  Everyone seemed to be okay and alive, but you couldn’t get a hold of Missy, Frank, or Adam.  

You couldn’t fucking breathe.  You didn’t know if your friends were alive, or dead, or hurt, or arrested, or fine, and you were terrified.  The universe seemed to hold its breath as you gasped for air, spiralling as your horrible little brain dragged you through the worst possible scenarios.  

Funerals.  Hospitals.  Dead friends whose potential had been stolen from them far too fucking soon.  Courtrooms.  Cops.  Tunnel vision fallacies that got innocent people arrested.  Fuck.

Tears streamed down your cheeks.  You needed to call someone- not even for the wellbeing of your friends, but for the wellbeing of you.  You couldn’t tell if you were already having a panic attack, or if you were on the edge of one, and either way, you were not having a good time.  You needed help.  You needed someone to calm you down and get you to breathe like a functioning human person.

You thought about calling Reid.

Before you could scroll down to his contact, your screen lit up.  Missy was calling you.  You picked up.  Things only got worse from there.

Frank had been shot.  He’d been walking by the community center and someone had shot him.  A man in a dark jacket and a motorcycle helmet had shot him.  Missy didn’t see his face.

Frank was in the hospital.  In critical condition.  Maybe dying.

You got up and got ready to head to the hospital, floating through the motions as more information came to light.  You couldn’t feel your fingertips.

It wasn’t a random attack.  The assault was carried out with the precision of a hit.  

You didn’t know who would order a hit on Frank.  Neither did Missy.  True, he was a former inmate, true, he had once violated the law, but he hadn’t done anything that would make someone take a hit out on him.

The police thought Adam had done it.  Adam was near the community center.  He was in custody now.  He needed a lawyer.

“Do you think you can represent him, Doc?” you could hear the desperation in Missy’s voice.  You could feel it in your chest.  

“I uh-” you tried to clear your tear-filled voice.  You failed, “It’s a conflict of interest.  I was his teacher, recently, the prosecutor can use that against him if I try.  I can get help, though.  I have connections.”

“You’re gonna wanna hurry and send them out.  The cops were real rough with him, it’s not looking good.”

You cursed under your breath, shoving your shoes on and grabbing your keys, “I can sort it out from the hospital… I can- I can do that, right?” “If anyone can, it’s you.  Just get here soon.  Please,”  Missy’s voice got smaller and smaller as she spoke.

You broke traffic laws getting to the hospital.

-

Hospitals still fucking sucked.  They were often crowded, decently noisy, and overwhelmingly white.  You still hated hospitals, and if you could, you wouldn’t enter another one for the rest of your life.  

But that wasn’t an option.  Not for you.

You and Missy didn’t leave each other’s sides.  You couldn’t.  In the sterile environment of the hospital, you were each the other’s lifeline.  You both needed it.  You looked like the human embodiment of anxiety, and Missy the embodiment of grief.  Tears spilled down her cheeks, dragging tracks of mascara with them.  She curled into herself, into you, appearing small and fragile.  In the pull of a trigger, the strongest woman you knew became a precious breakable thing.  

She didn’t deserve this.  She didn’t deserve any of it.  And even though you also looked and felt like shit, you were glad you were there.  

The cops wouldn’t stop looking at the poor woman like she was another fucking suspect instead of a witness.  They looked away from her when she was with you.  She could focus on her grief when she was with you.  You were just happy to be there for her.

Over the phone, you arranged a legal defence for Adam.  You didn’t pull away from Missy to do it.  The two of you just sat in a blindingly white hallway, clinging to each other in a sea of sterility as you called in a couple of favours. 

Once situated, your lawyer friend called you to report that 1) the local police were really pissing them off, and 2) the case against Adam was weak, but not a guaranteed failure.  His history of incarceration and intrusive thoughts could be used against him- however, the nature of his past crimes, his friendship with Frank, and his work to improve his life could be used in his defence.

Overall, the case wouldn’t be too difficult to win.  Adam just needed character witnesses- ones that a jury would like and trust.  

You, a reputable university professor, could be one of them.  

You very quickly realized that Spencer, a notable FBI agent, could be another.

Missy urged you to call him.  She even gave you the decency of space.  She didn’t need to do either.  You were always going to call Spencer.

Of course, Spencer didn’t pick up the phone.  Pushing down the urge to just hurl your phone into the wall, you took a deep breath and left a message.  You hoped your voice wouldn’t betray how absolutely fucking shaken you were by the situation.  

It did.

“Hey, Reid.  I’m sorry, it’s been a while, I just… look, it doesn’t matter right now.  Something happened.  Things are bad, right now, and I uh.  I’m gonna need your help, if you can- if you want to help me,” you let out a shaky breath that sounded a little too much like a sob, “You know where I am.  I’ll see you.”

After you left your message, Missy looked at you with a shaky, watery smile.  You raised an eyebrow in question, and her smile just grew.

“You didn’t tell him what happened.”

“I know.  It’s uh, it’s a lot to tell someone over the phone.”

She let out a little laugh, “He’s gonna think you’re hurt or something.”

“Oh, shit-” you murmured, pulling out your phone to make another call.  

Missy put a hand on your arm, stopping you, “Don’t change it.  He might get here faster if he thinks that.”  

“You think so?”

“Oh, you are down bad.”

The two of you stood there in the hallway, and as you stared at each other’s tear-stained faces, you both started to laugh.  The sound morphed back and forward between pained sobs and wheezing laughter until the two of you were too tired to make another sound.

You stayed with Missy for another few hours.  Nobody would tell either of you a damn thing about Frank’s condition.  The two of you remained in place until a well-meaning nurse practically forced you to leave.  

You drove Missy home.  The car ride was silent.  You were both out of things to say.  For once, you were all cried out.  Missy was in a similar condition, dark mascara tracks still painted her cheeks.  She didn’t make a move to wipe them away.

It was in that silence that you pulled into a parking spot outside of Missy’s apartment- the one she shared with Frank.  

“Are you gonna be okay?”

“I’m… I’m gonna be something.”

“You can stay with me, if you want.  Just so you won’t be alone.”

She stared out at the building, at its golden lights glaring out into the velvety dark of the night, “I… I think I need to try being on my own.  Just for me.”

You tightened your grip on the steering wheel, “Okay.  But please, call if you need anything.” She smiled over at you, “I just need you to get Adam out of this mess.  The sooner they stop looking at him, the better.”

“I know.  I’ll do everything I can, I promise.”

“I know you will.  Adam will be out in no time, eh?”

You offered her a little grin, “Do you want me to walk you in?”

“I’ll be alright-” she popped open her door, “But do you think you could give me a ride to the hospital tomorrow?  I just-”

“Of course.  Anything.” She gave your arm a pat and hopped out of the car, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Doc.”

You just waved goodbye.  The last time you promised to see someone later, he disappeared from your life.  Now, he wouldn’t even pick up his phone.

You had to try really hard to avoid crashing on the drive home.  Tears blurred your vision.  Your breath came in sparse gasps.  You really should’ve pulled over, but you just wanted to be home.

You got there safely and spent the night alone.

-

The next day, you woke up early, took Missy to the hospital, and made your way to the university.  And then you had to spend the rest of the day acting like everything was normal and nothing was wrong.

It was a weird sort of hell- an inferno of your own creation.  You had spent the past few months pretending that everything was okay, acting like everything was fine.  Now you found yourself lost in the performance, drowning on the stage beneath the bright lights.

You had to give your lectures as if one of your students wasn’t rotting in a police department- like another one wasn’t in the hospital, suffering from a gunshot wound after being attacked by a mysterious assailant.  You had to act like you were a-okay with the knowledge that there was nothing you could do.

In other words, you had a terrible fucking day, and at the end of it, standing alone in your office, you had one thought.

There was wine in the trunk of your car.

-

The moment Spencer got your call, he ran back to that university town faster than he’d ever run in his life.  He could hear the fear in your voice over the phone.  He could hear a hospital monitor beeping over the phone.  

So he ran.  He ran as fast as he could trying to get back to you.  The closer he got the more dread he felt.  The closer he got, the more news stations reported on a shooting near your community center. 

It was only after he got back to that town that Spencer realized that he did not know where you lived.  

He tried the hospital, but you weren’t there.  Spencer wasn’t sure if that was reassuring or not.  The community center was closed, so you weren’t there either.  There was only one place left for you to go- and it didn’t make much sense after the message he’d gotten, but it was all he had left.

Your office was empty.  The lights were off and the door was locked.  Even the ghost wasn’t there.  Feeling dejected, Spencer wandered over to his office.  He was expecting to find it in the same condition as your office.  Abandoned.  Empty.  Untouched.

It was not that.  Someone had clearly been there recently.  The lights were on.  Someone was logged into the computer.  Even more damning, the bookshelves no longer contained the vast collection of books that he’d left behind.

They were full of smut.

Softcore smut.  Hardcore smut.  Monsterfucking smut.  Enemies to lovers smut.  That Fifty Shades parody that’s canon in the universe of Criminal Minds was notably absent, but that was about it exceptions wise.  

Spencer hadn’t done this.  He hadn’t filled the bookshelves with horny literature.  There was only one person who would.

“Spencer?”

Speak of the devil.  Reid turned, and there you were.  The world caught its breath, and the two of you suddenly felt less incomplete.  The black holes stopped eating your guts.  Spencer was right where he needed to be.

You were there, together, where you needed to be.

“Where the fuck did you come from?”

♥ Tags: @icarusignite, @usuallyunlikelyfox, @maraudersforlife2005, @fictionalcomforts, @morgthemagpie, @iiheartbowie, @digitalhearts, @corpsebridenightamare, @ghostatrixx, @reiding-writing, @mywellspringoflife, @80katie, @ms-ks-world, if you asked to be tagged and i forgot, pls let me know!! if you would like to be tagged and aren't, also let me know!!

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x gn!reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #x reader #nightmare academia

[pixeljade]

Dungeon Meshi characters and the music I think they'd listen to:

Laios - No real genre cohesion, but loves anything that he can imagine monsters to. He has extensive mental music videos of monsters doing cool things that he will set to songs which he plays on repeat. Probably has more movie and video game soundtracks than actual mainstream music.

Marcille - Florence and the Machine and Hozier are amongst her favorite artists, and she has a soft spot for ALL dramatic and romantic songs, especially with female vocalists. She guards her tastes very carefully, afraid of what others might think, but will gush to Falin about her interpretations of lyrics, and make her playlists all day long

Chilchuck - dad rock and certain folk punk tracks. He's been found in a puddle of tears listening to mountain goats songs about breakups, but he never mentions that when he lists his favorite artists because he wants you to THINK he's not fucked up over it. Will also listen to classic blues.

Senshi - A jazz lover if I ever saw one. He doesnt really listen to it except in the background while cooking or working, but he likes it because it reminds him of the improvisational side of cooking, and how it keeps him moving while he works.

Falin - I think Falin likes a lot of pop but has a particular soft spot for vocaloid, j-pop, k-pop and chiptune. She's just deeply autistic about the artists she likes, doesnt particularly "stan" anyone because she doesnt approach it like that, but she does try to get Marcille into it all (with mixed success)

Izutsumi - the meow mix jingle (breakcore remix) [10 hours]

Kabru - The widest range listener, because he'll gladly listen to and learn about any of the artists people around him listen to. He specifically keeps up with top 40 entirely so he can have an idea whats in the zeitgeist. If you ask him to put on something and he doesnt know your tastes he'll default to a "safe option" like chillhop beats to study/relax to

Thistle - This one I'm not super sure but Linkin Park for sure is a regular listen for him. Will cry-sing along with it. Probably also delves into other teenage angst music ranging from pop punk to emo. Would write his favorite lyrics in sharpie on his ragged converse

Shuro - All classical. He was raised to have extremely refined tastes and can play several instruments himself, but he doesnt have much interest in music really.

Namari - I dont know why but I feel like she'd have an eclectic mix of classic hip-hop artists like Missy Elliot, riot girl music, and old school heavy metal. Also probably has a soft spot for certain pop songs but refuses to admit it.

Mithrun - I want to say he'd be into Shoegaze but like, obviously does not seek out music, so he literally only listens to whatever those around him put on.

Fleki - Psych rock, psy-trance, trip-hop. Do i even have to explain

Lycion - All Hardcore. Loves the energy and will actively mosh.

Pattadol - An absolute Swiftie.

Cithis - The sort to listen to indie pop and then EVISCERATE you for your opinions on music online. Hates Swifties.

Otta - Loves mainstream hip-hop/pop music. I feel like she'd really love Doja Cat.

I think thats every main character. If you disagree with my thoughts dont be mean! We're all just trying to have fun here

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers