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sapphyreopal5 · 9 months

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I love the Padalecki's a lot both Jared n Gen. I like them both individually and as a team. Having said that I did resonate with your post a lot coz I feel some of things that you said do resonate in terms of what we've seen lately.

You said something like addiction or lack of freedom - is this wrt Jared? Given his MH struggles he definitely has to manage and regulate his life very much hence the need for that rigourous routine that he follows. The fact that he is unable to do that due to his knee must not be so great.

This card according to many sources often suggests there are either problems with addiction and possibly obsessions or there's a sense of oppression, dependency and perhaps a sense of frustration with limitations and a lack of freedom. This card can also suggest there are some hidden desires and fantasies that are 'tempting" to fulfill. I recall a quote I read where he said something asking the lines of his heaven he imagines for him is being able to love freely. I don't believe that this is related to Jensen as some people believe. I do believe however Jared has more subliminal messages in what he says than people realize.

2. What do you think are the things Jared regrets? Is it perhaps relating to SPN n not leaving early enough?

3. They obviously love and respect each other a lot but do you think they are both chasing different professional goals. Could this be a reason for the loss of their intimacy?

4. I know that Jared credits her with saving his life and making a lot of sacrifices for the family. Could it be that it's what driving her to have her own identity through the social circle that she is trying to build really quickly? N by doing so she is leaving herself vulnerable without proper checks and balances in terms of who she lets in. She is obviously very beautiful along with having a great personality so yeah ppl can become obsessed with her.

Coz even I've been getting this feeling a lot lately that she shouldn't be posting as much as she is. I am a very intuitive person as well so the fact that both us feel this way is making feel very nervous.

5. In opposition to her, Jared has shut his social interactions down and is really maintaining a low profile. I feel there is a story here. I intuitively feel that he is working on something massive away from acting more on the lines of producing and therefore SM and fans are just not his focus at the moment. Do you think he is about to land on a huge deal or Career opportunity?

6. Finally last but not the least, what do you think about the J2 relationship at the moment. They go through phases of either being very touchy feely or having an awkward energy between themselves. Do you think they will ever truly forgive each other for prequelgate? Will work together on SPN again. My intuition says that SPN has breathed it's last with J2. I think they could bring it back with Jared at the helm with a recast of young Sam n Dean ( with a bit of a fresh story take).

"1. You said something like addiction or lack of freedom - is this wrt Jared? Given his MH struggles he definitely has to manage and regulate his life very much hence the need for that rigourous routine that he follows. The fact that he is unable to do that due to his knee must not be so great."

First of all, thank you for sending in this ask! I'm glad to hear that my post resonated with you, although I agree with you that in some respects it's worrying (Gen needing to post less because of the people watching her a bit too much). When I speak of The Devil card for Jared, I believe the lack of freedom tidbit applies. Jared comes across as a dreamer and an idealist to me big time, and I believe he probably envisioned his life as being different from what it is on a more personal level. Sometimes people get so "addicted" to daydreaming and "living in their heads" to where they can become out of touch with reality. I do believe however this reading does tie to Jensen in a few ways. One of them being that JA's drinking, which I do believe is one of the things that's starting to wear and tear on the J2 relationship.

Career wise, I think he seems pretty content where his career is headed right now for the most part. I think because of his knee and possibly some other health conditions he has that aren't really discussed in public that this could contribute to this feeling of "being trapped". I was told several times in the last year that Jared needs to check in on his respiratory health..

2. What do you think are the things Jared regrets? Is it perhaps relating to SPN n not leaving early enough?

I know this might feel out of order as far as numerically goes so I apologize if that bothers you, but I wanted to tie the relevant questions together in this ask to try making it as short yet deep and thorough as possible. The things I think he regrets right now pertain to his personal life. Prequel gate certainly did not help matters, let alone the fact The Winchesters was objectively speaking a fail. I believe the fact J2 didn't make TW together does speak of how tightly tied the SPN fandom is to J2 specifically.

I think that there were many things SPN never touched on or barely discussed that could revive SPN (ex. fairy tablet and Faye realm, how souls are really created, Chuck turned out to be a false God, Dean's death and Sam's life afterwards were just a dream, storylines like this could be done to revive SPN). I've made some posts about my own experiences and what I know about "the other side" that could be storylines on their own. The writers of SPN and believe it or not The Winchesters generally had decent "divine hearing" as they picked up on things about "the other side" that others did not.

As far as the J2 relationship, I think one of the biggest things Jared likely regrets how things are between him and JA right now behind closed doors (some of what we see publicly is definitely smoke and mirrors). I highly suspect that there's a 3rd party that's driving a wedge between them, a woman... for those reading this I am not saying it is Danneel because it's not mainly her from what Poseidon's told me. However, Danneel is not helping matters, and frankly should've had NOTHING to do with The Winchesters or SPN at all. I suspect JA's personal life choices that people aren't aware of but some bloggers (some of them also being seers) here on Tumblr speculated on are impacting the J2 relationship more heavily than people are aware of.

I did not mention in the last ask this tidbit of information BUT I also got the 6 of Pentacles card, as seen in the photo above. In my deck the Tarot Nova, this card is portrayed as a loaf of bread. The general meaning of this card is this is a card of giving and receiving but can also connotate to one-sided charity (or possibly ulterior motives behind one's generosity), self-care, and unpaid debts. On a surface level, this would pertain possibly to Jared reaping the benefits of what he's sowed in the past as I do think his career is on a high note.

HOWEVER, in the Tarot Nova this particular card is portrayed as looking like a loaf of bread. For some reason when I received this reading I felt like this particular card has a different meaning and it was hardcore standing out to me for some reason. On a hunch, I looked up the Instagram selfie a fan took with Jensen and looked at the OP's profile. The bible verse 2 Corinthians 9:10 was quoted on his profile. Doing a quick Google search, I saw that it says this: "Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness."

Some people might say well JA is greedy and that this bible verse can't possibly be applicable. I've learned when it comes to working with deities including Poseidon (Jared's higher self), Hermes and Hades (Jensen's higher selves) and really all other deities, you can't really take things at face value and have to look at how things are connected. This connection signifies that JA and JP are more tied together spiritually than people realize (were actually supposed to incarnate as 2 souls in 1 man but things didn't quite go according to plan), which can explain why they are at times very "in sync" and not realize it...

3. They obviously love and respect each other a lot but do you think they are both chasing different professional goals. Could this be a reason for the loss of their intimacy? 4. I know that Jared credits her with saving his life and making a lot of sacrifices for the family....

Okay now with the Padalecki's marriage, from a psychological point of view many people who are parents feel a loss of freedom. Parenting is the hardest job there is, everyone's got opinions on it but no one's situation is the same. As far as career goes, I think that it may be a small contributing factor. I think however that where things are not so great is there's too much care and focus on public image. Jared's comfort is in wearing the beanie this fandom is well aware of. I saw in the book review video Gen told him to not put it on, which is rather puzzling.

I think that when Jared was gone a lot this may have hurt things but in a video someone sent me a few weeks back that Gen made (albeit while drunk clearly) in response to someone asking how she handles Jared being gone all the time, Jared and her agreed that he would not be gone out of the house for over 2 weeks at a time, and also quietly said "it's in our contract". This may in part explain why Jared always flew home while they were in Canada filming SPN "to be with his family". As far as the "contract" goes, a lot of people will say "TOLD YOU IT WAS A PR MARRIAGE!" Reality is, when it comes to affluent people many will come up with prenuptial agreements including some expectations and "requirements" in the marriage prior to getting married and what they want to happen should they get divorced (who gets what).

What people don't understand is that if there are any ridiculous stipulations in a so called "prenup", such as not going over a certain weight or demanding sex X number of times a week (looking at you Jennifer Lopez), this can actually make it so a prenup is ruled unenforceable by a judge. Prenups also can't dictate things after divorce like child support, child care or how much time each parent spends with their child(ren).

4. (con't.)... Could it be that it's what driving her to have her own identity through the social circle that she is trying to build really quickly? N by doing so she is leaving herself vulnerable without proper checks and balances in terms of who she lets in. She is obviously very beautiful along with having a great personality so yeah ppl can become obsessed with her. Coz even I've been getting this feeling a lot lately that she shouldn't be posting as much as she is. I am a very intuitive person as well so the fact that both us feel this way is making feel very nervous. 5. In opposition to her, Jared has shut his social interactions down and is really maintaining a low profile. I feel there is a story here. I intuitively feel that he is working on something massive away from acting more on the lines of producing and therefore SM and fans are just not his focus at the moment. Do you think he is about to land on a huge deal or Career opportunity?

I think Jared is focusing a lot on his career more and that he is working on something behind the scenes. With what's going on right now however with the actors strike and now the writer's strike I do think that this is not likely the whole story. I strongly suspect a lot of the problems he is struggling with are personal (externally and internally), and not so much career or even financially. Almost half of the cards I saw going back to the reading I did were cups, which is the suit in tarot that pertains to matters of the heart and a couple of wands.

Gen is trying to create an image for herself outside of being known as "Jared Padalecki's wife", which I don't think Jared minds. I do think however Gen is more sheltered and in ways moreso than others her age group are and that we seem to mutually feel more comfortable with. The visions I've been having of a dark haired woman in a bar with a man approaching her rather aggressively have been very vivid I'd say over the last 3-4 months. It's interesting you say you've been having these feelings a lot lately, not sure how long they've been around for. I mentioned the pendulum/abc chart reading I got about the hellhound watching over Gen specifically especially when Jared is gone was a highly worrisome reading I got about a week and a half or so ago, and then I received that initial ask about if I've done a tarot reading on Jared and Gen days later? Weird timing if you ask me...

#jaredweek #jared padalecki #genevieve padalecki #celebrity readings #seers #psychic #tarot #pendulum #divination #deity work #poseidon #Jensen Ackles #J2 #Hermes #Hades #Odin #anti danneel #spn family

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hexhomos · 2 years

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top 5 jay/vik pet peeves? 👀

I let this ask simmer a bit in the back of my inbox because... oh man you guys really want to see me rant like that? Unbelievable. But I'll indulge anyway since I could on about this forever:

#1 the way people straight up delete everything about Jayce as a character, be it talis or giopara, just to turn around and act like he's "leeching off viktor's genius" or "a big stupid dumb idiot who cant grasp simple concepts XD" "brainless idiotic himbo" like… this is so tiring to me. Are you trying to call him braindead? Because that's what it sounds like. I don't find it funny or charming anymore thanks to the sheer density and frequent malice adjacent to this kind of content.

#2 Related to above, but also found on its own, SPECIALLY in arcane fandom bubbles: a fixation on Jayce's body as a sexual object or sexual accessory to other people as his "Only redeeming character trait". It's become so prevalent I don't like browsing content for him anymore. Fans will legitimately make up bullshit reasons as to why Jayce is lesser than other characters (the council, mel, heimerdinger, viktor, vi, whoever, you name it) and then hold up more brainless no personality idiotbad himboXD porn as the only thing his character could ever amount to. Way to go! You're treating this show's singular brown lead as actually subhuman. There truly are no words. And it's not like it's hard to give Jayce an ounce of interesting things to do: most of what people attribute to viktor as sciency and driven and passionate is something that he shares with jayce; sometimes, its straight up things jayce came up with and worked on all his life getting penned as "viktors thing". I just find fandom, for one reason or another, holds a severe disinterest in treating them as equals. And it makes their dynamic worse. (This last point is not exclusive to arcane, sadly.)

#3 Viktor woobification, and an insistence that he could neeeeever do anythiiiiing wroooooong, regardless of verse. It makes him into such an uninteresting non-character. Viktor was created to *BE* the mad scientist archetype; this was his initial concept and it persists to this day, you can't take away his responsibility for his mistakes, or pretend it was Jayce's fault, and still expect him to be a good character. I don't even know what you're stanning at that point. I've had ppl genuinely argue with me that viktor never hurt anyone in game canon and that JAYCE had stolen blitzcrank and its like ????? Do you even know who Stanwick is. Please just read their bios. Both of their bios. Viktor lies to clean up his own story and even before the lore rewrite he was the one who'd initiate violence by Invading Jayce's Lab And Blasting Him With Laserbeams. This guy's ingame kit requires you to kill 100 minions before evolving a weapon prototype. He has an ability called "death ray". You don't think that's funny? Your loss. (Related: a lot of able-bodied people treat viktor's arcane disability as something to patronize him over, and it can be really, really uncomfortable to see.)

#4 this is gonna seem minor compared to above but watching people try and vilify Jayce at every turn to make Viktor or other characters look better can be so unintentionally funny. They never pay attention to anything about his character, just spin a wheel of bad generic adjectives and go: "JAYCE is an out of touch gazillionaire SOCIAL CLIMBER queaking for STATUS who eats diamond dust, shits gold and hates lesbians; he also PISSED on my WIFE," whole time the guy is just minding his business, indentured for life thanks to vampiric 'patrons' making him swear fealty for project funding, canonically stated to have built a name making gadgets for the working class, doesn't even like socializing in Any Universe (and this is the exact thing him and viktor bond over), etc etc etc... this shit is embarrassing brother

#5 unironic googoo talk jaymel or melvik or anything that exists in the middle genuinely makes me roll my eyes. Sometimes I feel as though people watched the bomb scene and then immediately erased out how disrespectful and manipulative it was. I don't care for any of these pairings nor the implication that you have to 'make good with billionaires to reach ultimate peace uwu' that comes attached to most of their content. The TVshow being as centrist and corporate as it is explains why this exists, sure, but I feel so ?????? When I see people acting like viktor and mel would be best buddies, as if she isn't canonically the richest person in Piltover before we even have a timeskip and *Directly Responsible for enabling and profiting off much of the fuckshit going on in Zaun* lol. Where do you think that money came from? Seriously?? Come on. I cannot fathom how people can see Jayce's interactions with her as leading to any sort of positive outcome. They get 0 romantic buildup worth caring for and are boring as all hell. And the next one is less common but: whenever people try to fit her plotline into leagueverse I just, LOL. The ruling Medarda in league is a 70-something manlet white geezer. Jayce giopara is a fag and his entire bio was designed around viktor. The council plays no part in their story and they're far more interesting for it, thank fucking god.

#Hexposts #Jayvik #Arcane #long post

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bookshelfdreams · 1 year

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I posted 2,492 times in 2022

That's 419 more posts than 2021!

422 posts created (17%)

2,070 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@swords-n-spindles

@mikimeiko

@bookshelfdreams

@snake-snack-stede

@knowlesian

I tagged 2,449 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#our flag means death - 1,010 posts

#esc - 340 posts

#message - 101 posts

#crafts - 101 posts

#thoughts - 74 posts

#ofmd reader - 68 posts

#german stuff - 51 posts

#!!!! - 47 posts

#anonymaus - 41 posts

#fic - 31 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#baby. theres spinning wheels for over 1000€ what makes you think you're gonna be met with thousands of ppl starved for things they can buy

My Top Posts in 2022:

random ofmd thought: I love that Stede is so cringe.

He's just. Awkward. Ridiculous. Unapologetically weird at all times and he never gets any cooler. Every episode has at least one Stede moment that causes me physical pain and I love that.

Because usually, if a character is this embarrassing, their arc is about learning to be less so, to be like anyone else, to be more normal, and Stede never does. He learns to be more confident, yes, but he never stops unapologetically being his awkward self, and that's so good to see? He's fine the way he is? He doesn't have to become less himself, he just has to learn how to own it better and that's so healing to see

2,133 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

ofmd reader

aka Holy Shit Everyone In This Fandom Is The Smartest Person On Earth

aka a collection of my favourite meta, feel free to add your own faves!

(note that most of these don't actually have titles, I just tried my best to sum up the contents)

✬ On masculinity in ofmd by @edwardsilkheart

✬ The different genres various characters are in, and how they clash and synthesize by @fuckyeahisawthat (THIS is required reading and the reason this show works so well, all these different & contrasting flavours combined into something truly delicious. If you read nothing else on this list, read this)

✬ yk that Stede didn't actually have an evil plan to leave Ed all along right by @polyamoryprincess (on what really happened in Stede's head that night)

✬ these two posts by @mikimeiko about Ed and the mortifying ordeal of being known

✬ How does Ed like his eggs? by @forpiratereasons (on mirroring, learning how to be yourself and self-acceptance as the path to true love)

✬ Listen, I know everyone and their mother disliked Ed without the beard but I actually loved it. by @ruletogether

✬ Izzy Hands and the tenderness of violence, directed at him but not perpetuated by him by @ellicler with additional tags from @knowlesian

✬ Another one about Izzy, internalized homophobia, and subtextual queerness by @knowlesian

✬ The thing that ACTUALLY made Stede run away by @quillyfied

✬ Ed and the language of face-touching by @amuseoffyre

✬ anachronistinc costume design as a sotrytelling device by @ambassadorquark

✬ The Bathtub Scene (analyzing Ed's body language) by @orangechickenpillow plus this follow-up. I also recommend their post on clothes sharing

✬ beard media by @all-chickens-are-trans

4,851 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

Crocheted Important Blue Internet Checkmark. Because why the fuck not.

(Pattern under the cut)

See the full post

4,982 notes - Posted November 11, 2022

A brief conversation I had with @mikimeiko on their lovely meta about the motive of loss and abandonment made me think about miscommunication some more, and how horrible Calico Jack was to Stede.

When Stede meets Calico Jack for the first time this is what he says to him:

Who's the big gal?

Off to a terrible start, and it only goes downhill from there.

As others have pointed out, this is a very mean thing to say in general and absolutely unacceptable to say to a queer man in particular, and Ed knows that. He's trying to do damage control

See the full post

7,364 notes - Posted April 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

oh but I adore how everyone in this stupid pirate show is just a guy

I haven't seen ppl talk about it much but. the absolute lack of shredded abs. people show tummy and cleavage and there's not the barest hint of muscle definition anywhere

obviously some of them are very fit but it never leaves "works a physically demanding job and happens to be naturally thin" territory

and guys are fat! guys have bellies and rounded shoulders and chubby cheeks and imperfect teeth and thinning hair and are styled weirdly (that's a whole different post but the crew especially look so unprofessional styled it's great)

and they are still all hot! they are hot and desirable and find each other hot and desirable and I love that

I love to see it! nobody in this show looks like they had a personal trainer. and not just the side characters, not just a token fat guy - obv Taika Waititi is the most beautiful man you've ever seen and that little bit of tummy pudge spilling out of his crop top made us all lose our collective minds. but it's everyone else too; and it's not the extend of it either. no other show would have let black pete within 10 feet of a romance arc, much less been this sweet and sincere about it

this show is so comfortable with the human body in all it's glorious imperfection and I am in love with it

29,716 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#omg madda!!hi! hi bestie <3 #year in review #housekeeping #lmao insane year #i knew that ofmd would be the top tag but i didnt think it'd be *this* ridiculous #10x as much gay pirates as - anything else #the only real surprise is the meta post i didnt think it had this many notes #anyway! yoho! i love everyone on this ship y'all are awesome

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makingspacemakingtime · 1 year

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Ok 2022 wrap up. First the good:

* killed it at work and on schedule for a huge jump in salary in january 2023

* finally let go of the worst years of my life by *gasp* leaning in2 and committing to my present self???

*moved to a banging new apartment WITH kitchen island

*volunteered for midterm campaigns

*went to chicago, cincinnati, honolulu and st. louis

*READ like 80% more this year than last year (the bar was the like 2 books i picked at and didnt finish last year but still improvement)

*more consistent with skincare routine

*hit 50k in my one savings acct in accordance w financial goals

THE BAD:

*didnt learn a new language, instrument, to code, pottery, or anything. Was grinding at work and not much else

*health took a backseat: too much doordash no fitness plan or even much activity

*didnt make any new friends

*stagnated in other areas. No volunteering for causes i care abt or even at community garden. mUST CHANGE THIS IN 2023

*struggled to stay consistent with much of anything. Scatterbrained for most of the year

THE UGLY:

*lost all muscle tone due to nothing other than lack of care

*no motivation. No real direction. No real sense or vision of the future i want and am working towards. No effort in the places where it counted

*phone and screen addiction. BIG TIME. losing hrs to this that i should be using to get out there and meet ppl and actually improve my quality of life LOL.

*deep-seated suspicion that im not well-liked at work bore out late this year. Not super pleased since that's been my main focus. Probably connected to this other stuff.

*loss of basic intellectual curiosity. In complete survival mode for the first 8 months of the year. Self is almost unrecognizable in many ways.

THE RESOLUTIONS:

I've spent the month of december devoting myself to prepping for the big three resolutions that i feel will have the biggest impact on my immediate health and wellbeing. I did a recipe plan for every day of december and gave myself a zero doordash/restaurant rule but no other real restrictions on what recipes i make and that's gone super well in terms of re-integrating cooking regularly back into my life and even enjoying it! I think in february im going to start paying more attention to making sure im incorporating the plate method to ensure im getting the right proportion of protein veg and carbs into my diet but for now its all about finding recipes that taste good and that i can sustainably replicate etc. I've been doing a lot to make sure im brushing my teeth and doing my skincare routine at least every morning so im going to start bumping up my evening care in January as well. I also downloaded the none2run app to get me up to a 5k which at least lays out the calendar of what i need to do and im on week 2?? I think of the beginner exercises before starting the runs in earnest. I've deep cleaned my apartment and kitchen and have been regularly washing my clothes and doing the dishes instead of letting it all pile up. All of these changes in routine have been gradual over the last 5 weeks or so but its already paying dividends and i love the idea of prepping for resolutions and planning them out so i don't lose track as the year progresses:

*Journal at least once a week (minimum 52 entries by this time next year)

*Develop nourishing recipes you actually enjoy and can replicate. Limit restaurants to once a week (non-holiday) or 3 times a week (with holidays)

*complete none2run 5k.

*sign back up for barre classes at least once a week (non-travel)

*on work travel, complete youtube pilates vid at least twice a week

*this is the year to tackle skin texture and pores. Set up derm appt in January

*complete liftoff program for beginner weightlifting beginning in June.

*volunteer for minimum 2 hrs each week. For anything.

*volunteer for dems at least once this year.

*SEE A FUCKING PSYCHIATRIST

*take one extra-curricular class

*check in quarterly on goals

*take one international trip

2023: We are being specific and intentional!!!!!

#2023 resolutions

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h1ghtechl0wlife · 2 years

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let me tell you my tale, of perseverance and loss...

i was at a drug festival masquerading at a music festival when i was 17 and my body wasnt so fucked up. it was for afternoon friday-sunday. friday me and my group just sourced acid and shroom rice krispy treats (this is not enough flavor to cover the taste btw but not awful) and watched the sky and ig some of the music. some old dude was running around pretending to be an airplane, that was cute. this was at a campground so lots of forest and a river running through it, which we rounded out the night sitting in and smoking hash.

so we go back to our truck around dawn. someone in our group went and slept in someones tent and the other 2 ppl i was with were a couple, so i decided to chill under the truck and let them sleep inside.

alright. you have the setup. heres the tale. im sleeping under the car and wake up hot as fuck like 3 hrs later and starving since we didnt bother eating the day before. walk 1/2 mile towards the exit to find smth to eat and find It. a breakfast burrito truck. paid $5 for the biggest burrito ive ever seen and wandered back to the truck. it was literally so big i could only eat half, then i wanted to sleep through the heat for a while, so it's me curled up with my 1/2 breakfast burrito under the truck, napping peacefully together.

but when i woke up... the burrito foil was swarmed by ants. they were all inside too. i thought i wrapped it good enough but i didnt. so i had to toss it. the world can be so cruel. anything can be taken from you at any time for no reason.

#for anyone in missouri or the ozarks this was schwagfest #this is the only thing i remember eating also #*schwagstock i conflated it w smth else ig

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starsbegantofall · 1 month

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I finished a multi-year long fic at ao3 in December 2023 and I think I'm done writing fanfic period. Not for lack of desire to write, of the hundreds of voices in my head talking 24/7, 3 are always asking hey when are we going to write fic, but since it took me 5 years to finish one fic, and I have at least one long fic from my many previous fandoms left unfinished, well, I just don't want to keep being that fic author that readers hate lol.

Which is too bad, I feel that fic is the ideal and perfect... gift? compensation?... for my time in fandom spent enjoying other people's art and writing and activities. Fic is free to share, doesn't require anything other than a word processor and internet for research, no one has to pay anything to read it either, easy to ignore if ppl aren't into it (or it should be anyway), and if ppl do like it, they will share it also for free and other people can enjoy. But there's nothing I currently like that really inspires me to write, much less finish a fic lol, even though I have read plenty of fic in those fandoms and there's stuff to write about. Once I leave a fandom I don't go back either.

Perhaps a lot of reluctance also comes from AI tomfoolery persisting, which we haven't killed yet like we killed nfts, and my general loss of faith in humanity being supportive and appreciative of the arts and literature, and instead plagiarizing and policing morality. It's like... what am I working so hard for, straining my eyes and neck for? What am I getting out of this other than the accomplishment of finishing a creative work? A scattering of kudos and 3 likes on Twitter, is it worth the pain? No one's paying me for writing nor should they, and no one is buying my art (although that I can understand, it's all right but is it $20 all right, no, it's not, let's be real). So am I just leaving behind a body of work archived for the next generation of fangirls and fujoshis to research? Is there even going to be a next generation? Haven't I paid my dues to fandom by now? I'm 40 years old, people should be dedicating their writing and art to me for all that I've contributed so far for almost 20 years.

But my brain would not let me rest. I have to be creating something constantly. I can't just consume mindlessly. Right now, I'm done writing and am just doing personal art. I would work on cosplay and other crafts but cons big enough for me to put on a wig for no longer exist in my immediate area, and I will eventually run out of room to store costumes and crafts, too.... Not sure what else to do, but it is what it is. For now. Until a meteor strikes the planet and kills us all.

#fandumb

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icequeen1371 · 2 months

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I talked to my mom at 5 o’clock last night at the hospital to see how he was doing. And to let her know that her other spawn was on his way to be with her for a few days. Then I called her at 8:30 because I know that’s when she gets home from visiting hours. She mentioned nothing of it. She mentioned having a glass of wine with her other spawn. Then I get a phone call this morning, and she asked me, “just calling to see how you guys are handling the news” she didn’t even remember she had told me yet. Her short-term memory is bad enough, but when she stressed out or upset tired it’s really bad. She totally forgot, telling me last night that he passed away. Didn’t even say anything. Like that’s kind of a big piece of information even though you have short-term memory loss. You know what I mean? I’ve kind of been walking around in days all day. We were literally going down to see him tomorrow and visit because we knew maybe there was a chance. What if he had another stroke and passed away. We didn’t know that things were that dire. And I really hope that his daughter didn’t know how bad it was he didn’t tell us. I’ll never forgive her for that. The first thing that my youngest said was, “I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. Those two were like to be in the pot ever since she was born. She hasn’t seen him since November. Ashley, I think it might be October or September. he couldn’t drive anymore with his dementia, he was not having very many good days where mom could bring him in without him, having an episode and us seeing it. She’s been dealing with a lot the past two years. All on her own. No one care, no family members, knowing how bad it was, nothing. I don’t know how she did it. Because the house was left in his sons. I’m not sure how long they’ll let her stay in the house before they tell her they want to put her up for sale. Not that she can afford to say they’re on her own regardless. Then with me on disability, I’ll get cut from disability if she moves in with me. And because I’m disabled, I wouldn’t be able to really care for her anyway. I don’t have the means or the vehicle or the physical ability. If anything happens God forbid. She doesn’t want to live with her other spawn eight hours away because she wants to be close to me. And she doesn’t want to move to Newfoundland because that’s really too far away. Although, I think it would be great. However, None of her family has even mentioned anything about it. No one has offered. Can you believe that shit? They assume she’ll be fine or being in a home or something. Meanwhile, they won’t accept her home because she’s physically in fantastic shape. It’s just shorter memory issues. That’s it. She can’t afford to be home anyway. She doesn’t have the money neither I. So I’m not sure what’s gonna happen for now we’re just trying to figure out how to get through the upcoming view at the end of the week or this weekend. And then I’m gonna have to put some kind of plan in order so she doesn’t feel so alone in the weeks afterwards. Ppl say those are the hardest. I wish I could ff to July or August. That’s 5 family members in 4 years. It’s been a lot.

#dead dad club #again #twice #step dad #funeral #death #grieving

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scuopsie · 11 months

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omg girl!! 1: you look beautiful before and after!! 😍 2: I'm highkey envious because I want to get my girlies smaller lol. How's the recovery going? Do you have normal feeling everywhere?

I'm glad it all went well!! 💜

Thank you🥺💞💘💓💕💖 this is such a huge positive change for me bc i had lost about 11kg (24 lbs?) Over the course of 5-6 years and the weight loss had left my big girls (which i already didnt like and were a huge weight on my neck and shoulders) a pair of sagging skin. So i 12/10 recommend doing this if they're really bothering you. It's totally worth it in the long run!

My recovery has been really well i think. One thing i apparently got really lucky with was that i didnt have any bad reaction to the anesthesia so I think that plays a huge part but other than that i will tell u that the first 48 hours is HELL but it gets a LOT easier right after that. The pain is super managable after the 3rd and 4th day and you get back to normal life after 5 days (tho u shouldn't lift heavy for at least 6 weeks).

As to feeling... no the nippies are basically numb. 0 feeling. Idk if u know this but they cut them out completely and reattach them later and bc the nerves are totally disconnected u have no feelings in them. There is a chance u get some feelings back tho (and i read online that some ppl get even more sensitive after surgery but im not holding my breath)

#today i learned that the dr suctioned some fat bellow the armpit area to minimise cutting #like BITCH IS THAT WHY MY SIDES HURT SO BAD???? KDJDKDKD #rn the hardest most annoying thing for me is wearing the compression bra 24/7....#it makes me wanna kms sometimes #and the first week when u have to sleep on ur back only.... hellish. my neck and back hated me #wow i rambled a lot odkdkd #hope this helps #i cant say much abt the long term effects bc im not there yet but so far im supper happy #ask #anon

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lilyliveredlittlerichboy · 1 year

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I posted 3,906 times in 2022

That's 3,804 more posts than 2021!

495 posts created (13%)

3,411 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@the44th

@honeytuesday

@c0smicartisan

@purplemanatees

@crippled-dad

I tagged 3,821 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#i need a tag for my own rambles - 316 posts

#cats - 210 posts

#queer stuff - 123 posts

#silly - 122 posts

#homestuck - 122 posts

#this - 105 posts

#trans stuff - 104 posts

#art - 96 posts

#ofmd - 88 posts

#actually autistic - 83 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#malibu: :d i love u too hoomin! i am sitting on big 🐻 rn and they are so warm!!! i love them so much!!! can u come back soon and play w me

My Top Posts in 2022:

shamelessly stolen meme (im toad)

256 notes - Posted December 2, 2022

so much love for people with verbal stims, echolalia, who repeat sounds or make their own, who are mumbling or singing or making noises to themselves all the time when they feel safe,

<3<3<3<3 giving all of u a forehead kiss

481 notes - Posted March 4, 2022

desperately feeling for every little autistic queer kid in school rn. school fucking sucked for me, big time, and I've been out of school for 11 years now and part of me wants to ignore that schools are still a thing for many people.

you are strong and capable and gorgeous. your stims are good and cute actually! you are allowed to be open about yourself and it'll make some things easier but it'll make other things harder and you're also perfectly allowed to keep parts of you a secret if that keeps you safe for now. but most importantly, please remember that this awful time in your life will pass, even though it feels like it's forever right now. one day soon you'll look back and wonder why you were ever so scared. you'll grow into such a lovely wonderful person. in fact you already are and don't you forget it. your future holds happiness and peace. i love you.

519 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

the diet cult is a solution to a nonexistent problem.

which is great, capitalism loves a solution without a problem. Or rather, selling you a solution to a problem they tell you you absolutely have.

so they make everyone believe that losing weight is super desirable for some reason.

it can only really be accomplished by disordered eating and/or exercise habits. (there have been so many studies showing that long term weight loss is not possible for most people, unless they develop disordered eating or exercise habits.)

the problem? people get hungry cus their bodies need food!

the solution? try this pill, that shake, such-and-such supplement. join this group with like minded diet cultists people who want to lose weight! you have to pay a membership fee and it'll try to dictate every bite you put in your mouth and sell you special recipes and ingredients and build an entire economy based on your low self-esteem, cus society tells you anything above stick-thin is too fat.

it's a cult aimed at controlling your entire life, where you shop, what you buy, what you eat. it's super good at it?? to the point where like. the majority of women in western countries seem to be falling for it?? (can't speak for other places but i imagine it's big elsewhere too)

to the point where many fat people believe they don't have worth unless they lose weight,

and many thin people believe that the worst thing that could happen to them is to gain weight,

when in reality, weight is morally neutral. being fat protects you from some diseases, actually. socio-economic status is a better predictor of health than weight. etc. etc.

fat ppl and fat liberation activists have been talking about this for so fucking long. i really don't know what it will take to get people to listen.

769 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

"sexuality and gender are different things"

and

"a lot of trans people conceptualise their sexuality through their gender or vice versa and for many of us the two are inextricably linked"

are both true statements, the only reason why you see more of the first and less of the second is because cis people are pathologically unable to understand nuance in this area. in this essay i wi-

4,445 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #readmore cus my posts are long #i need a tag for my own rambles #tumblr

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parisidics · 3 years

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TW ED

saw one of these on here a little ago but it was clearly for taller people so i mad one accustomed to me to look at and reflect on. (since im 5 foot and a half)

230lbs

no one notices you. you don’t stick out anymore because everyone's used to you being so big. they used to bring the fact you were so fat up all the time, but everyone has just stopped talking about it, you’re invisible to everyone, even those you called friends a couple pounds ago.

220lbs

you are starting to make eye connect with people in the halls, you are clearly losing weight by the look on peoples faces when their thinking about how they “haven’t seen you in forever” and maybe a teacher or two have said you look thinner.

210lbs

your clothes are starting to feel normal on you again, they feel like they fit better than when you were at your high weight. a few old friends have walked up to you to congratulate you on starting your weight loss. you’re starting to socialize with people other than just you’re teacher.

200lbs

you’ve hit your first goal weight and your friend group has started to include you more, and your back to sitting with them at lunch and in classes. mom has talked about the fact you’re losing weight with many relatives and has congratulated you as well.

190lbs

everything is starting to seem exactly like it did before you gained more weight. all you’re old friends have circulated back into your life and the ones you were close with talked about it all the time and are proud because they knew you wanted this for the longest time.

180lbs

all your clothes feel like they used to, and you’re not constantly in the same outfit. you are wearing all types of outfits because everything fits again. you’ve officially became the size you were in the fall of 2019, and you feel an immense amount of pride because of it.

170lbs

the girls you used to envy all the time are now talking to you and congratulating you for your weight loss. every friend group talks about you and are all surprised. you have partners for projects again and aren’t last picked in gym. your clothes are becoming loose and your mom is talking of plans to get you new clothes.

160lbs

people are starting to flirt with you. the popular people are now talking to you a lot more than usual. the girls you once envied were now taking photos with you, interacting with your posts, and even have you in snap group chats.

150lbs

your double chin seems as if its fading faster than a sunset. you have more friends than ever and no one is calling you fat anymore. the people you have crushed on would actually consider you as a s/o. girls are asking about what you did to drop all the weight and are frustrated when your answer is eat healthy and exercise.

140lbs

you’re being invited places all the time, and your being flirted with often. your getting close to the people you’ve always wanted to be friends with. you have a completely new wardrobe and people let you try on their clothes.

130lbs

you’re starting to be considered popular by those you used to be friends with. you have over 500 followers now and you get plenty of comments on your posts. boys pay attention to you now.

120lbs

you’re in multiple gcs and even some of the sub gcs of the “cooler ppl”. you’ve been to many peoples houses now, and you’re always on the list of people to invite places. after not being to the doctors in over a year the next time you see you’re doctors they are impressed, you’re 60lbs apart from your last doctors visit. more new clothes and your mom cant steal your clothes anymore. your mom is fine with you wearing bikinis now.

110lbs

you may be in your first real life relationship by now. and if not you definitely have options. the guy you used to crush over expresses interest in you often. you no longer wear one piece and you even can wear your sisters clothes. you have developed the style you used to rave over and actually look good in the clothes.

100lbs

everything is just how you always wanted it to be. you’re thin. you’re mom can pick you up. everyone adores you. its nearly summer and everyone is talking about plans, and you’re included in almost all of them. you and your sister are the same weight and you don’t feel the need to constantly compare yourself to her.

90lbs

you made it.

#pro ana #proana #notproana #notprojusttags #notproforanyonejustforme #anorexia #anorex #anorecik #anorexik #anorekic #bulimia #anamia

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papers4me · 3 years

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Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 112 & 113 (part 2)

I hate that this chapter is cut... mainly cuz it deals with the most “ horribly presented” theme in furuba anime.... grief.

-The shame of grieving: “ Rarely discussed theme in Literature”:

When a love one dies... ppl differ in how they deal with it. Some cry their hearts out, some become depressed & painfully lonely, others get angry or cynical, some might deny it, some move on quickly, others move on but years after the realization crushes them, others stay still... Above all, you feel ashamed of yourself if you didn’t move on or if you DID move on.. “ Sometimes ppl around you judge you for it... for your grief”

The later is the theme of these two chapters. Rarely discussed themes & it saddens me that it is cut. You see, Furuba anime doesn’t get grief at all. To them, it’s a small part of the generic protagonist after she finishes her job of nurturing the real main protagonist. Mothers are strong, they help us cross the bridge between childhood & adulthood. Tohru, the show’s mom, did it so thoroughly & in slow visual & narrative details for yuki. Afterwards, the anime brushed whatever is left of her character, which the anime viewed as sheer suspenseful drama, & collected it thro 3rd person story-telling techniques in one ep “ se3, ep6″ & excessive monologue for 10 minutes in se3, ep9.

In this chapter, Kakeru, a side character, sheds light into this theme. Kakeru didn’t lose a parent by death, didn’t grieve, has no dependent familial bonds with either dead parents “ kyoko & komaki’s dad”. Yet, kakeru stood & judged tohru on how she “ should” grieve. Harshly tearing her down while she’s standing there lonely, trying to hide her shock at the loss of her only pillar in life, broken & traumatized, dealing with the pushed down traumatic feelings from her past where her mom abandoned her as a child..now her mom did it again, this time thro death.. & kakeru, rightfully not knowing all that, but wrongfully lecturing her on how to behave... kakeru isn’t a monster, but he only saw what he wanted: komaki & how the world should grieve with his lover, how he should be the hero protecting her. So self-centered, insensitive, horribly cruel & unbelievably conceited, but above all... what he did is so sadly common... it hurts.

-Judging Grieving People:

As I said many times.. grief is so personal, so unique to the person & as common as it is, so misunderstood. According to kakeru & many ppl I’ve sopken to lately, tohru should have acknowledged komaki. Komaki, the not-traumatized version of tohru, did the right “ tohru-like” thing. Not only felt sadness at the loss of her own dad, but found it in her heart to visit the other orphan, tohru, & give condolences & respect to the dead mother. Such kindness & purity. Very deserving of applaud: To not only see your pain but others’ as well. Tohru has always done the “ right, kind” thing to other ppl. When she can’t now, the author brought another “ tohru” to do the “ right, kind” thing.

Kakeru is so many ppl. During my brother’s funeral. I’ve heard so many gossip on how my mom should’ve stood tall & greeted the visitors.” Being silent , emotionless & non-responsive is not how you show visitors you value their kind words”, they said. How his widow should’ve collected herself & acted properly, respected his memory by taking proper care of herself & her kids. “Being a broken mess is not how you “ honor” loved one”, they said. Kakeru is indeed many ppl & that’s how you discuss a theme by creating characters who sin, screw up & be cruel, even if momentarily.

Kakeru is wrong. There is no “ you should have” in grief. There is no ounce of truth in his demeaning lecture to tohru & I respect komaki for her reaction to him so much. Kakeru did learn & grew from it, apologized to tohru even if he didn’t actually sought her to do so & even if she herself started the apology. But you see, these two chapters are 90% focused on kakeru as a character, his growth, thoughts, the mini focus on his relationship with komaki as an example of healthy relationship & all that is another lesson for yuki to observe & learn. He learned abt tohru’s past, kakeru’s personality & growth & got to observe another example of romantic relationship so yuki can grow as a man & approach machi healthily. But then again... nothing at all stops yuki/machi from being healthy, no past issues, no contradicting personalities “ they’re quite similar” & yuki is the only furuba character that doesn’t screw up big. He learns & teaches. He’s the personification of the author.

-Tohru.. stays a “ tohru”:

Tohru’s part is 10% of the this chapter which is fine as I think/hope it will lead into more tohru depth in the following chapters. But It is for this reason I’m glad this chapter was cut in the 13 eps season of furuba anime, cuz tohru doesnt have much depth in the anime due to the quick wrap up & the la~~~~st thing I want is another 3rd person story-telling flashback abt tohru in the anime. Honestly, one of the most frustrating aspect to me of the anime & I’ll hold judgement abt manga- tohru till I reach its end. So far~~~ Tohru’s depth & character exploration gets better one chapter, then regress the next one, then moves on, the... it’s a fluctuating process. It has nothing to do with tohtu’s feelings.

you’ see ... kyo himself as a character with issues fluctuates a lot, he does sth good, then does sth bad, chooses right words, then makes a horrible mistake & chooses wrong! which is one of the most well-done aspects of character exploration that is rarely attempted by authors! I highly respect Takaya-san for what she’s doing with kyo in the manga so far. Other authors show us a character doing one big mistake & then he/she learns from it in a dramatic way. But Takaya-san, nope! she decided to approach it in a very human way, making us be frustrated with kyo’s repeated mistakes yet understands where he’s coming from! kudos to her!!

But I’m not yet satisfied with how tohru is portrayed in the manga & this has nothing to do with tohru’s character. Takaya-san is discussing rare themes thro tohru’s character. But what I mean is how tohru is approached thro the viewers/readers eyes. I wont judge until the last chapter. but this is the part that is frustrating to me.

Side Notes:

The flow of the 2 chapters is little off. We go back & forth between the past & the present, between yuki-machi & komaki-kakeru. Again, I’m so glad the anime cut it cuz, nope! they can’t handle such narrative. they’ll reorder it in a such heavily monologing way & insert the comedy abruptly to lighten the mood. Just look at how the comedy is inserted in momiji’s se03 ep!

Komaki is such a tohru with a sprinkle of kagura’s very softened outbursts. lol. she’s fun!

I’m liking yuki-machi interactions a lot. no drama, which is why the anime cut it -_-’, but it progresses healthily. Machi is yuki’s third-stage growth after (1) leaving tohru’s nest (baby yuki), (b) making friends with kakeru/someone who gets him (young boy yuki), (3) finding romantic love (being a man). The anime was so interested in the 2 stages above cuz that’s where the drama is & cut the third. Honestly, the anime didn’t have to include everything as there is never a space in 13 eps, but they certainly could’ve squeezed few panels or even made brand new very short yuki-machi scenes. but the anime weirdly decided after yuki “ saved” machi from her trauma by talking with her in her apartment, he should just marry her.... lol.. that’s why next scene is ep 5 momiji’s ep intro montage where yuki was abt to confess!!! making yuki-machi the least developed couple in the anime!

I love all furuba’s characters, but yuki, tohru, kyo & akito carry the big themes, therefore, I not only analyze their characters, but how the themes are presented thro them & how their presentation affects such themes. This might make it sound as I hate them or am harsh on them. not at all. It is the anime director/ manga author that I’m positively or negatively criticizing most times. Most importantly, my criticism is not the law. It’s just my perspective & my consumption of the material. Feel free to differ with me. I dont mind it. It brings interesting discussions!

When it comes to tohru’s issues... his chapter introduced nothing new. We have seen/read in canon repeatedly that tohru hides her pain behind a smile (heck! even kisa knows that & told us), that she cant stand up for herself much, that she smiles for other ppl not for herself. All this was presented thro so many characters already, which is why I understand the anime’s decision to cut it. What’s new? that yuki didn know tohru’s smile is mostly a mask & that kakleru has depth.

I love this chapter for the grieving themes it discussed that are rarely touched upon in literature, but since such themes are rarely presented, the anime’s decision to cut it, ironically proves my point! lol . They don’t get grief & so, they reduced it to se03 content & two eps worth. sad.. but expected. The anime is indeed another form of “past” kakeru: seeing one side of grieving person. The happy side.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #manga review #fruits basket manga #manga spoilers #sad paper #I love you little bro #I miss u

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darlinghogwarts · 3 years

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Do you ever get frustrated by people who ship questionable things like reylo or snape/harry, etc?

Honestly—no.

There are a few things I’d like to say about this:

1. There are definitely ships out there that I wouldn’t read, and fics/books that make me uncomfortable. But just because it makes me uncomfortable doesn’t mean that other people aren’t allowed to enjoy it, read it, or write it. Just because I don’t ship it doesn’t mean I have the right to condemn those who do.

2. Freedom of expression in art is important. Very, very, very important. Whether we’re talking about books, paintings, musics, or fanfiction, the right to produce and read a wide range of things is important, as long as it does not hurt someone. Producing things that only cater to the popular opinion is the fastest way to creating an echo chamber.

3. Reading something and doing something are two different things. A lot of times, people write things to process emotions, trauma, or “experience” something that they wouldn’t want to try IRL. (Ex: I lost my father quite early in life, and when I look back to fiction I wrote back then, it’s very obvious I was trying to process this loss. Like, I must’ve written at least two pieces of work about a child who “finds a family”, or goes back in time to bring back their parents). Similarly, people try to process other things. Also, even when people aren’t writing things to process emotions, sometimes we write things just to write/explore them. And that’s okay. Art for the sake of art is okay.

4. Trigger warnings and age restrictions exist for a reason. If there is “unsafe content”, as long as ppl tag the hell out of their ships and put all the restrictions that they have the power to put, I think it’s okay. Also, if they write about things that impressionable people or children might get the wrong idea about, it’s important to preface fics by saying “this is NOT a healthy relationship, I do NOT support this kind of dynamic, and it is NOT healthy”.

5. There are many things to be upset and frustrated about in this world. I’m not saying this to sound uppity, but we all have a limited amount of mental energy in a day. Wouldn’t you want to direct it towards something that affects people on a larger scale? I personally can’t find the energy to care about what other people ship.

***ALSO: For those who write sensitive content (mental health, abuse, eating disorders), I think it’s generally good practice to include helplines and hotline numbers in their author notes for triggering content.

TL;DR: 1) Everyone has different preferences. 2) Freedom of expression in art is important. 3) People write certain content for many reasons. 4) Both authors and readers have a responsibility. Authors should provide trigger warnings and helplines, and readers should read the warnings and use the helplines. 5) And chill, it’s not that big of a deal.

#fandom #shipping #answered #anonymous #this might be controversial so im sorry #otp #idk should I tag controversial ships here??#reylo #snarry #lmao i'll tag some of MY controversial ships #hartwin #hannigran #beth x borgov #controversial ships

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uneryx · 3 years

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A story + some advice

Once upon a time, back in 2009, I was “cancelled”.

We didn’t call it that, back then, but basically, after making a shitty, sanctimonious post, nearly every online friend I had made told me to go fuck myself and stopped talking to me. [below the cut - the story, plus some advice to the TDP fandom about toxic fans, consequences, and bad fan behavior from someone who has both been both accuser and defendant. This isn’t a Pity Me post, btw, just me trying to neutrally describe a Bad Time and draw comparisons to an ongoing situation to express both sympathy and clearly state that sometimes consequences are deserved.]

Oh, I had my reasons for the post I made. I was living with my parents, and they had discovered my secret livejournal. After several hours of screaming matches I was given the ultimatum - quit livejournal and LJRP forever, or move out with nothing but my car, my clothes, and the $60 I had in the bank. I chose not being homeless.

As part of this, I was allowed to make one final LJ post - a goodbye, telling people where I was, a (heavily edited) version of what happened and a plea to all my LJ friends to consider that they too might be “addicted to the internet” and they should “save themselves”. It was self-righteous and unwelcome, and my mother had no compunctions showing me the comments telling me to kill myself, get fucked, etc. It was devastating, and I spent the end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010 completely socially isolated, with no one but my parents for friendship. Needless to say, it blew. Some of those friendships came back, either because those friends had the patience and kindness to understand my situation/hadn’t taken it so personally, or because after years (and I do mean literal years, like... 5+ years), mutual forgiveness happened. But not all of them. There are people who I spoke with daily who i haven’t spoken to in 12 years and I wonder what they’re up to now. Good things, I hope. I wish them nothing but success and happiness. But I had been an asshole and made a post that hurt people, and promptly been shown the door. And I don’t expect anyone to forgive me for being an asshole, even if my own circumstances were pretty dire. I made the choices that I did, and live with the consequences of those choices. That’s... just being an adult. Now. Lets talk about TDP and a certain she who will not be named. Miss thing has said and done some things that are high on my bad-fan-behavior list. She’s tagged the official account in a plea to have them mediate her fandom drama. She posted a suicide threat in the main fandom hashtag, without any warnings or tw tags, just right there for any and everyone to see. She’s made some pretty harsh accusations of other fans of bullying, harassment and death threats, but has produced no receipts or proof, which - in this day and age - is pretty important when making such a serious allegation - meaning I have to assume she’s making it up. She’s defended JKR and said that calling ol’ Joanne a TERF is unwarranted, claimed that “biological gender” can’t be ignored, whined about “liberal privilege,” and claimed that white people experience racism too because there isn’t enough “Tuscan rep.” (girl, what? Tuscany? I guarandamntee you more white people know what Tuscan culture looks like than Fillipino or Indigenous culture, what the hell.) She asks her followers to brigade and harass other fans as well as the people she’s accused, and blows things out of proportion... and then has had repeated histrionic meltdowns in the main fandom hashtag, the public square of fandom, over one of these big name fans allegedly getting other fans to block her (still, no receipts). I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this, but the claims she’s making are not true. If you know the ppl in question and follow them for any length of time, that is not the people who they are and they would never. Furthermore, trying to get Wonderstorm involved like they’re the fan police is, as i have said in my most popular post this week, bad. It’s bad. It’s bad fan behavior and being called out for it is deserved. So why am I telling you my sob story and then whipping around to talk about a similar story? Because I deserved being cancelled. I said something shitty - even if my circumstances were understandable and sympathetic! But what I did with that is attacked and harmed other people. Attacking and harming others and making your drama and mental health public is toxic. People have a right to call you out, block you, and stop interacting with you if your behavior is harmful to them and the people they care about. It’s not harassment, its not bullying. It’s fucking consequences for being someone people don’t want to be around. I get it, I really do. It SUCKS. But sometimes you have to grow up and realize that when you hurt people, they might hurt you back. Nobody in fandom wants to be around someone who is constantly making drama their problem. And nobody in fandom should have to deal with that.

I want miss missy to take it out of the fandom. She keeps threatening to leave tumblr and honestly I wish she would? At least until she’s grown, matured and learned how to handle her mental health in a productive way that doesn’t drag everyone, of all ages, into the fray. As it is right now she’s just making herself and everyone else miserable. Redemption isn’t something magically granted because one has apologized - it must be earned by a good faith demonstration of change. Not a performative change, but TRUE change. Until then, well... Sometimes you gotta cut your losses and leave. If you’re young and riled and feeling like the big mean fandom BNFs are harassing this poor poor mentally ill queer woman? Consider, perhaps, that she isn’t the only mentally ill queer woman in the fandom (hi!), and that when people call her out for toxic behavior it’s not bullying, but consequences. (BTW, madam, if you’re reading this: I didn’t block you because anyone told me to - in fact, i was told by certain parties NOT to block you. I blocked you because I don’t want you looking at my posts and thinking you can use my platform to give your self-aggrandizing pity party legitimacy like you absolutely did whenever I blogged about forgiveness, fan culture or positivity. These posts are not for you. Nice to see you didn’t respect my boundaries and are looking at this logged out, too.)

#fandom drama #long post #boy I am mad today #get out of the fucking hashtags girl #and stop trying to manipulate people into sympathy by being a damn liar

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shepard-ram · 3 years

Note

I’m back on my bullshit! I got more for yandere Tommy (and a bit of Tubbo 👉👈😏 so I guess yandere clingy duo?) So I personally think that the clingy duo would probs see reader as a sibling (younger/same age/older is up to preference). -🦤 1/about 7(?)

- I’m gonna say that you three form some type of bond after the Manberg V. Pogtopia war but before everything hits the fan again because they deserve good things. You meet Tubbo first (surprisingly), then Tommy because he “had to make sure that Tubbo’s new friend wasn’t an arsehole”. slowly a strong bond is built between you three. Like y’all end up building stuff together, pranking ppl, and all those other cutesy bonding stuff and overall just get super comfy with each other. Y’all practically do everything together! That’s until exile, but even then you keep in contact with both boys. But that’s not what I’m going to go on about. -🦤 2/7

Keep in mind the boys have lost soooo much during their time on the Dream SMP. The most obvious traumatic loss was Wilbur, a brother figure for the boys, right in front of them. Wilbur was a big part of their lives, both in life and death(Ghostbur just trying his best over here) They did so much together. They fought a revolution, ran a country, rallied together to overthrow another country, and managed to get into a few disagreements. Yet with all of those challenges, they overcame them in the end. I mean they literally stood behind Wilbur in his plan to blow up Manberg (though this was after many tries to persuade him not to) because they respected him as an individual and even though they might not think it’s the best idea, Wilbur was their leader and friend. Tommy did everything in his power to sway Wilbur from his choice, but the silent siren song of the button was too irresistible. Tommy wasn’t enough to stop Wilbur and it came to a heavy price: Wilbur lost his last cannon life. -🦤 3/7

- That’s a pretty heavy burden to hold; knowing that you had the possibility to save a loved one but fail them in the end. I’m pretty sure Tommy and Tubbo would be keeping the things they love and cherish very close to them after that (welll,,, besides the exile. Tubbo did express multiple times that he didn’t want to exile Tommy so that has to count for something). Even though they keep things at arms reach away from them emotionally, as a protective measure for themselves, whatever they let in, they won’t let go. The world is cruel, they’ve learned it first hand. And yes, this person they consider family has survived the world so far, but people having breaking points. They won’t always be safe from the world. The last fight for L’manberg proved that. They got hurt so much! And they didn’t think much about their own welfare!! They’re obviously unfit to take care of themselves 😒 -🦤 4/7

- Tommy and Tubbo probably come together like “yeah we don’t want another Wilbur situation :/ We don’t want them to die” so they do the only thing their shared brain cell can conjure up: lock reader away. The world can’t hurt them if the world can’t get to them. Now this is some five-head shit they got over here!!! Keep away from danger = no death!! A win-win for every party! - 🦤 5/7

- Also small thing (don’t know how cannon this would be) but I have a feeling that they’d keep you away from Philza and Techno, for “obvious” reasons (some are obvious and some are just,,, a little too paranoid) So their reasoning to keep Philza away is so he doesn’t kill reader too!! He already killed Wilbur, who could he kill next?! Everyone saw what he did in the last fight for L’manberg. Techno is more obvious because he’s more “outwardly” unstable; the voices in his head chant for blood, must I say more? He could go on a crazed blood-spilling spree at any moment! And again with the things he did in the last fight for L’manberg. Tommy and Tubbo won’t let Philza and Techno live down what they did. -🦤 6/7

- Why would you be so sad when they’re keeping you safe? Keeping you alive! They’re doing this in your best interest and you did so much for them. They’re just repaying the favor! So stop the tears because they’ll give you comfort, safety, company, just about anything you could ask for (not counting your freedom) because that’s what family does. -🦤 7/7

(These long ass posts from me need to stop ☠️ I need to learn how to make a small thing)

DODO BACK AGAIN WITH THE GOOD STUFF-

Ok this??? Yes. They've seen almost everything and everyone they've love get hurt in one way or another. Hell your not even an exception, and they realize what they can do to make sure nothing more happens to you. After all, people always keep their most valuable possessions locked up away from anyone remotely untrustworthy. So why not do that with they're most valuable person? It hurts to see you so sad, but they have plenty of attention between the two of them- just don't try to leave and it's all yours

#ask #🦤 anon #tw. yandere #c: tubbo #c: tommy

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f0ckeverything · 3 years

Text

Stole this post from somewhere

1. when did your ed begin?

Not sure, middle school?

2. what is your earliest ed related memory?

When I was 6. I was looking at my mom, I thought she was beautiful, but I didn't want to look like her.

3. favorite safe foods??

Any greans

4. favorite safe meal?

Broth soup

5. how do you handle hard days?

Binge eating

6. sw/cw/hw/ugw?

168/160/175/120-100

7. how do you comfort yourself after a binge?

District myself with the internet or physical activity

8. what type of ed do you have?

Not diagnosed with anything, but ana. Prob don't even have it

9. when did you realize you had an ed?

I don't think I have an ed, but I do have a problem. I probably realized around early high School

10. do you have any recovery tips?

Surround yourself with a lot of people that don't have mental food problems

11. does anyone know about your ed?

Before yes, after my relapse no

12. what is an embarrassing ed related story you have?

Don't want to share

13. longest fast?

2 days prob

14. do you have any other ed communities?

A few websites that I frequent

15. have you recovered/relapsed before?

Yes, and Doing it now

16. favorite safe outfit

A sweater that's 2/3x bigger than me and pants to go under

17. do you smoke?

Occasionally nicotine mostly weed

18. coffee or tea

Coffee usually

19. diet soda or energy drinks

Diet soda, I don't like energy drinks

20. biggest sweet tooth craving/binge food

Anything pasta or Asian cuisine

21. something you want to tell about your ed but you’ve never had the chance

I'm doing this for me because I hate myself rn

22. best words of advice/love/experience to other ppl with ed’s

You're probably happier and more emotionally stable when you eat a normal/healthy diet

23. do you have a partner? if so do they know about your ed?

No partner

24. do you want to recover

Not rn

25. do you actually enjoy working out?

Yes, I don't have the energy alot

26. do you smoke?

Asked this b4, but yes occasionally.

27. if you smoke weed, do you get munchies?

Yes, it's a big problem for me

28. what is the thing you miss most that your ed has taken away from you

Not sure. Relationships maybe. Idk if that's the ed's fault tho

29. have you worked on your ed in therapy?

a little I guess

30. have you ever been caught mid-ed act (ie: purging, bingeing, etc)

Bingeing, but that's really easy to hide "I'm just really hungry today"

31. do you eat healthy or not?

32. does your ed affect your sex life/sexuality?

Not much

33. what is your favorite unhealthy but safe food? (if you have any)

N/A

34. what is one of your most obscure fears brought on by your ed?

N/A

35. least favorite part of your body

Legs, belly, and chest

36. favorite part of your body

Neck and wrists

37. do you have a fast metabolism?

Depending on the day

38. dumbest weight loss advice you’ve ever gotten

"You can eat whatever you want you just got to exercise"

39. do you try to practice body neutrality? positivity? if you do, how?

Haha, no, I hate myself

40. how do you handle ed related nausea, fatigue, sickness, or weakness?

I either power through or give up there's really no one in between for me

41. what was the moment you realized you had an ed?

Another repeat question, but I still don't think I have an ed

42. what food do you miss most?

I don't really miss out on food, it's mostly about portion control and calories for me

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