#the way it started with betrayal after betrayal and ended with a display of loyalty 😭😭

[sulfurz]

ೃ༄ VERY CONVINCING (edge x fem!reader)

ೃ༄ PAIRING: edge x fem!reader

ೃ༄ REQUESTED BY: @slutforoscarisaac

could you possibly write a one shot with heel!fem! reader and judgment day edge? edge wants reader to join judgement day but she refuses (cause she’s an independent badass) on live tv which pisses edge off. so after their segment edge follows reader to her locker room to convince her to join. if you could please add your little sprinkle of nsfw that would be amazing!

ೃ༄ WARNINGS: sprinkle of nsfw n slight aggression

ೃ༄ WORD COUNT: 2.6k

ೃ༄ NOTE: i have not proofread this so excuse how messy it is. it’s messy in general tbh i’m sO SORRY but my god i am very attracted to this man (i’m actually gay and ace but that’s just his power)

standing in ring, mic in hand as you listened to the boos of the crowd shouldnt been have exhilarating as it was. but as you surveyed the arena, one hip jutted out to the side to see the majority of those around you jeering and giving you disapproving gestures, you couldn’t help the smile that crept onto your face. it probably seemed menacing to the crowd, a sadistic show that you felt no guilt for the betrayals you had done, but truthfully? you could get used to being so hated. most great wwe legends had this period in their career, and seeing your name up on this lists made it all worth it.

backstage, you had your friend and the crowds you stuck around. in the ring? the only allegiance you pledged was to yourself, and the audience were well aware by now that this loyalty to your own cause ran deep enough to turn on those who appeared to be your allies. you had a goal — the belt — and you didn’t care what you’d have to do to get to it.

“missed me?” you asked the wwe universe, satisfied with the heckles you received in response. your break had only been short, simply recovering from a surface wound doctors had advised needed time to heal over, but you had wasted no time in ambushing one of your fellow superstars backstage on your return, and the fans were shown once again you were back and undeterred from your backstabbing saga.

taking a few steps forward, your leant against the ropes that surveyed the right side of the arena.

“it seems in just a month you’ve all forgotten who runs this show huh? hope my little display reminded you all.” you growled out, voice as sultry as you could manage. you were a villain they loved to hate, after all. “i’m getting pretty fed up of you all doubting me. how many times do i have to prove i’m the best before you start to believe me?”

your taunts were welcomed with angry calls, coupled with the occasional fan who cheered as they stuck by your side. those that loved the underdog always made themselves known.

you were just about to launch into the purpose of your promo when the arena went dark again, and the first sign of trouble was when the animated wings spread ferociously across the screen at the back of the stage. really, with the track you were on, you should have expected this sooner.

still, nothing could have quite prepared you seeing the newly drafted judgement day appear at the opposite end of the arena to you, damian and rhea flanking their leaders side as edge honed his attention directly on you.

he looked so eerie in the dark, an unsettling feeling settling momentarily in your stomach as you dragged your eyes over the kingpin of the stable. he only smirked back menacingly as they made their way towards you.

as expected, playing their role as perfect lackeys, rhea and damian took their places either side of the ring, ready to jump incase you made a break for it — but not edge. oh no, he climbed into the ring gracefully, not stopping until he was a mere foot away from where you had returned to stand front and centre of the stage. from here, he towered over you, something you were sure on camera looked more intimidating than most things wwe had seen.

lifting a mic to his lips, judgement days leader began his proposition, not breaking eye contact once. “you’ve made your statement y/n. you’ve got what you wanted — an opportunity.”

after an intense stare down, edge stepped away from you, and suddenly you could breathe again as he paraded the ring in a circle around where you stood.

“you have a lot of things to offer: the heart, the mindset, the strength — but what you haven’t got? a lot of allies.” you daren’t turn your head fully to look at him, feeling how the intimidating (yet, gorgeous) man stopped behind you. all you were willing to give was a weak glance to your side to see rhea grinning in the darkness. “you could be so powerful if placed with the right people. you have everything it takes, but way too many enemies to take them all down at once.”

edge circled back around, acting like a vulture as it waited for its prey’s final breath. they were determined to wear you down, but you steeled yourself as you let the man continue.

“you have no aid, and when those you’ve betrayed turn on you — well.” edge chuckled to himself, sinister and gravelly in a way that went straight through you. “i’d hate to have a front row seat to your downfall when you could have had so much more.”

poking your tongue into the side of your cheek, you stretched out your neck as you inserted yourself back in the conversation. “your side getting cold, mister? need another body to warm your titleless stampede?” you sneered, finding satisfaction in the glare edge sent you in response. “if you think i’d join your faction just because i’m alone then you don’t know me at all.”

edge clenched his jaw, taking a step towards you as another chant was ignited amongst the crowd. “i know you’re a smart woman, y/n. i think you know we could be the leg up you need to finally take what’s yours. and i must say you’d be better to have us as allies than enemies.”

you pretended to mull it over, but your decision had already been made from the moment you saw them appear. you had gone it alone thus far, and if anything, it was now a matter of proving to yourself, and everyone who doubted you that you could do it.

“do you know what i think when i hear you talk, edge?” this time, it was you who took a step forward, crowding edge where he stood. you had to look up to speak directly to him, but your presence was large enough to veto the difference. “i hear a man who is scared. you all know perfectly well what i’m capable of. none of you could come out to face me one on one, so you just had to band together to prove a point.”

you clicked your tongue before continuing.

“that’s the difference between you and me. i’ve been doing this alone. my enemies don’t try to get to me because they know it’s a losing battle. and i’ll promise you something else,” you placed a hand against his chest for effect, sliding it steadily down until it rested on his sternum “when i win this, alone, without your pathetic help, you’ll be the first person i mention in my thank you speech.”

with that, you dropped your mic to the ground, giving an exaggerated curtsy that had long become your signature, before you clambered out of the ring and made your way down the catwalk to the familiar sound of your music. even those who hated you couldn’t help but cheer after the display, and you weren’t about to stick around to see how judgement day picked up the pieces of your rejection.

there was a certain level of pride in your actions, knowing you had stuck to your own guns. you had barely even faltered when cornered by the hall of famer, and you could use that as a testament to your determination. the congratulations you received from various superstars and company men as you headed backstage (even paul heyman stopped to praise you?!) certainly told the promo had been an overall success despite the interrupt.

there would be a lot to sort at a later date, surely some damage control that your manager would be responsible for, but for now you deserved a shower, and maybe some takeout.

the locker room welcomed you with a familiar squeak of the door, finding the room which you shared with just two others empty due to their lack of scheduling at the company tonight. these were you favourite shows, when you could stretch and take as much time as you needed, no fear of others bursting inside whilst you were kid costume change.

or at least, you thought.

it was just as you were brushing through your hair with your hands, a button down shirt hanging open on your frame over the underwear that the door opened with a clatter. you moved to cover yourself, and scream at whoever was entering unannounced, but then you turned to see the figure standing in the doorway.

edge stared you down, eyes only leaving yours when he took the opportunity to take in the sight of your half dressed body. you buttoned up the mid section of your shirt on instinct, stepping back to your back as the judgement days leader closed the door behind him.

“my answer is still no.” you muttered, trying your best to ignore how he locked the door behind him.

“i know.” he hummed, playing with the bottom of his suit jacket. you had to turn back to your things to avoid his cold gaze “you made that pretty clear with your attempt to embarrass me.”

“nothing personal, sweetheart.” you taunted, surely adding insult to injury.

edge gave a faint growl, suddenly crowding behind you a lot like how he had in the ring. you felt a tug to the hem of your shirt, slapping his hand away before you were even fully turned to face him. he was closer to you now, having chest nearly colliding with your own when you whipped around to shoot him a glare. but all your possible retorts died in your throat when you saw how he was staring at you.

like he wanted to eat you alive.

“oh trust me, sweetheart, i know. to turn down such an opportunity on a personal grudge? now you’d have to be more stupid than i first thought.” one of his hands reached up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear, but it wasn’t sweet in the way most would take that action, it was a fight for ownership.

you stepped back in an attempt to put some space between you and the man, but were met by the bench against the back of your knees, almost causing you to tumble. just before you could slam down against the seat and the hard wood of the locker spaces, an arm was around your waist, steadying you but leaving very little room to breathe.

“get off me.” you whispered, no real heat to your own request.

he knew that too, lips curling in a smirk as he realised he had you right where he wanted you. “you don’t want that, do you, y/n?”

steeling yourself, you choked out an unconvincing “i do”, and just to prove a point, edge released his grip just enough to allow you to slip.

you weren’t proud of how quickly you reacted, grabbing at the collar of the black suit to keep yourself upright and igniting a low chuckle from the man in front of you.

once you had steadied yourself, he was the one to move to release your hands from his collar. you thought he might move back after having made his point, but he didn’t make any attempt to even release his hold on you, instead, taking a step forward until your back was curved as it pushed against the hard wooden beam behind you. the only things holding you up now were the angle and the way you levelled your legs against his.

he used the position to his advantage, sliding his knee in between your thighs, knowing you couldn’t push him away for fear of falling. one of his hands came around your body, not quite touching in a way that would provide pressure, but dancing along your bare thigh enough to pull goosebumps from your skin.

“your little stunt has caused quite the rift amongst us.” he growled, low and rough as his eyes raked your upper body. the top of your shirt had slipped open enough now that you were sure he had the perfect line of view of your chest. “i think you owe me an apology. what do you say?”

his free hand, the one that wasn’t teasing your thigh, journeyed back up your body, coming around rest on the back of your waist. you couldn’t help but arch on instinct, head lifted enough that the space between your faces was almost minimal. he leant forward, breath ghosting over your lips as you mustered as much power as possible to whisper a half hearted “fuck you.”

edge chuckled again in response, hand on your waist giving a firm squeeze before his lips were on your neck. your brain was screaming to move away, but the pleasant sensation that rushed through your body told you otherwise. “you’d like that wouldn’t you.” he mumbled against your skin, trailing a line of kisses down the side of your neck and across your clavicle. you couldn’t help the gasp that slipped out as he attached his lips to the bottom of your throat, nipping at the skin there “tell me to stop, babygirl, and i will.”

there was your out, all you needed was to say the word and, despite his harsh acting exterior, the gentleman inside would stop. but you both knew you couldn’t, not with how his hand massaged at your waist, and his lips sucked what would surely be a bruise come the morning into your sensitive neck.

“edge,” you whispered out, hands coming around his neck to tug him closer. he obliged, hand around your waist pulling you up and flush against his body. the movement caused just enough pressure of his knee against your crotch, and the involuntary groan that left your mouth was welcomed by him smashing his lips against yours.

he kissed you ferociously, not wasting any time before sliding his tongue into the mix. then, your feet were off the floor and legs wrapping tightly around his waist as he pushed your back against the locker spaces once more, his waist pressed firmly against yours so that you could feel just how affected he was. you were sure you weren’t much better, feeling the way your body reacted on instinct to the man’s touch.

he supported you enough with his thigh to release one hand from under you to practically undo the two buttons holding your shirt together with an expert flick. the air conditioning hit your body once more, and for someone who wrestled in underwear, you had never felt more exposed than now.

“still not joining.” you mustered up enough courage to whisper the rejection again, gasping loudly when edge used your distraction to cleverly unhook your bra. it didn’t slip off due to the issue of your shirt still being over your arms, but he seemed pleased with himself as he kissed down your chest.

the hand that had worked the magic on your top trailer down your centre, teasing finger pressing until he reached the hem of your underwear. he attached his lips momentarily to your left breast, before his hand found its goal and he cupped your heat through your underwear, a snarky “even now?” breathed into your skin.

you couldn’t help the moan that tore out of you once again as edge slipped your underwear to one side, but this time all that followed was a chuckle of your own as you used your hands to direct his head upwards. just before you collided your lips together once more, you punctuated your laugh with a sly “actually, you’re very convincing.”

#✍🏻 requests : slutforoscarisaac #wwe x reader #wwe imagines #wwe edge #edge x reader #edge imagines #edge imagine #edge scenario #wwe edge x reader #adam copeland #mentions of : #rhea ripley #damian priest

[thevelaryons]

Addam of Hull was simply a child. But the identity of ‘Addam Velaryon’ is that of a child soldier.

As Addam of Hull, he has never known war in his life. His birth was long after the War in the Stepstones ended and before the Dance of the Dragons began. Addam earns his new name because he managed to claim a dragon. After that, he is positioned in situations where he is expected to commit acts of violence towards others, through his dragon (or at least threaten them with the intent to commit the act):

It is one thing to face a dragon, another to face five. As Silverwing, Sheepstealer, Seasmoke, and Vermithor descended upon them, the men of the Triarchy felt their courage desert them. The line of warships shattered, as one galley after another turned away. The dragons fell like thunderbolts, spitting balls of fire, blue and orange, red and gold, each brighter than the next. Ship after ship burst asunder or was consumed by flames. Screaming men leapt into the sea, shrouded in fire. Tall columns of black smoke rose up from the water.

.

Addam Velaryon remained aloft, flying Seasmoke around the city walls, the beat of his dragon’s wide leathern wings a caution to those below that any defiance would be met with fire.

.

It had long been the custom for at least one dragonrider to reside at the pit, so as to be able to rise to the defense of the city should the need arise. As Rhaenyra preferred to keep her sons by her side, that duty fell to Addam Velaryon.

.

Most notably of all, House Tully had joined the war. Seasmoke’s descent upon Riverrun had at last persuaded that reluctant warrior, Ser Elmo Tully, to call his banners for the queen, in defiance of the wishes of his bedridden grandsire, Lord Grover. “A dragon in one’s courtyard does wonders to resolve one’s doubts,” Ser Elmo is reported to have said.

Addam's behaviour at Tumbleton is actually a dramatic contrast to everything that came before. At the Gullet, he and the other Dragonseeds were expected to participate in the fighting and they did their part as ordered, nothing beyond that. In every other instance after that, Addam doesn't commit the actual acts of violence. The threat always hangs in the air, but Addam displays surprising restraint. It is only at Tumbleton that Addam starts showing heightened aggression and suicidal tendencies. Such traits are quite common amongst child soldiers. Obviously, Addam would be affected by all that he's gone through and now that he's in such a high stress situation at Tumbleton (where he feels that he needs to prove himself), he's starting to show it. His actions become over the top violent:

Most devastating of all was the dragon. Seasmoke came swooping down again and yet again, breathing flame. A hundred tents were soon afire, even the splendid silken pavilions of Ser Hobert Hightower, Lord Unwin Peake, and Prince Daeron himself. Nor was the town of Tumbleton reprieved. Those shops and homes and septs that had been spared the first time were engulfed in dragonflame.

When Addam chose to engage in battle at Tumbleton, it was a clear act of desperation and at the same time, childish hope of victory too. But sometime in the midst of the battle, he does seem to realize the futility of the situation. In a final act of desperation (and Addam knew this would be final), he put himself directly in harm's way to protect the soldiers in his army.

Alone of the four dragons on the field that day, Seasmoke had a rider. Ser Addam Velaryon had come to prove his loyalty by destroying the Two Betrayers and their dragons, and here was one beneath him, attacking the men who had joined him for this fight. He must have felt duty bound to protect them, though surely he knew in his heart that his Seasmoke could not match the older dragon. This was no dance, but a fight to the death.

He goes from someone who's character arc has him positioned to commit acts of violence onto others to allowing the violence be done to him.

It was Addam who was with Corlys for much of the war after earning his new name (while his younger brother stayed with their mother). Unlike Alyn, who was kept mostly sheltered (until he had to take his brother's place), Addam gets several instances of being exposed to warfare and politics. Even the very act of Addam being legitimized as Corlys' heir highlights his position as a pawn, as child soldiers often are. Post Battle of the Gullet, when the Blacks take King's Landing, Addam still remains in a military role once he's stationed at the Dragonpit, tasked with watching over the city. The position he holds would make it difficult for him to let down his guard and act like the child he is.

In the end, when his remains are finally returned to Driftmark, he is not buried at sea as befitting his identity as Addam Velaryon (though that identity is of course still relevant to him despite the violence associated with it). Instead his bones are laid to rest at Hull, where he was born and grew up and spent so much of his childhood. Dead at 16, the same age his mother was when she gave birth to him.

#valyrianscrolls #asoiaf #addam velaryon #addam of hull #meta #I love it when grrm does identify arcs where characters go under a different name #and their life experiences become drastically different as a result #I think if addam had survived tumbleton he would be quite a jaded individual

[phoeebsbuffay]

Imagine you watch Anakin defeat Sidious, however, he becomes Vader in the process. What will be of you, then?

Warnings: it’s loosely based on “Defying Gravity”.

Warnings 2: soft smut, drama, angst and action. No minors.

Recommendations: besides the main song that inspired this fic, “My Immortal” and “Anywhere” by Evanescence aided to the most dramatic fic I’ve written so far. Lol. I blame my moon in ♏️.

***

Intro

Darth Sidious smirks as he overpowers you moments after resisting his attacks.

“It is useless to defeat me, my dear. As admirable as your attempts had been in fighting me, there is no point in trying further.” His smirk is wiped out of his face when angst comes. “Surrender now and I’ll spare your life. You will be a great addition to the dark side!”

“Never!” You yell at him.

It’s when he lifts your body as if you are this little useless thing. The air in your lungs starts to dissipate. You look for Anakin, where is he? Nonetheless, you still offer a great deal of resistance to the enemy of your Order, much to the former chancellor’s dismay.

However, you now begin to suffocate. Despair runs from your head to toes. The sense of powerlessness is overwhealming. There are tears going up to your eyes as you struggle for your life. It’s when you realize that the best you can do is accept your destination. You loose the grip of your saber and it drops on the floor; your conscience begins to drift and you are suddenly so tired that you don’t see Anakin’s angst.

That he sees you sent to sacrifice as if you are a lamb gives light to the Chancellor’s betrayal. It’s not enough that he fought his own Master, no. He is about to lose you too.

And he realizes he’s been a puppet all along.

This ends tonight.

Anakin takes his saber and his next move is not predicted by Palpatine who enjoys torturing you. Because he’s occupied in seeing life leaving your body, the former Chancellor and now self proclaimed Emperor takes a second or two before Anakin’s saber finally puts an end to his life.

Anakin curses the man before running to your side.

“You’re not going to die, Y/N! I’m not letting you to die!” He yells at you. Tears begin to form a puddle in his now yellow eyes.

Anakin then takes your unconscious body to his ship. You are staying with him, whether you like it or not. Whether you are alive…or not.

***

Ten years earlier.

You have recently celebrated the fifteenth year of your life with the only family you had: Master Y/C. He was like a father to you, he had rescued you from serving Jabbah as a young girl. You’ve paid him not only with gratitude but an admirable loyalty.

Master Windu was worried for you because this only showed how easily you formed attachments, but Master Y/C dismissed his concerns. He was only a paternal figure to you and there was nothing wrong with that. It was, in fact, the disposition of a good heart. And to many ways he acquiesced to this role, since the masters were the closest thing to a father for many younglings. He even gave you a birthday party!

Your memories as a Padawan were filled with cheerfulness and fondness because of him. Until the day Master Y/C was killed in battle. You were utterly devastated. Though you showed an incredible display of strength of character by masking your sentiments to those in Council, earning thus their trust, you were heartbroken.

However, you were not aware that this Padawan who was pretty much the same age as you sensed something was wrong with you. He thus followed you, worried. Even he knew about your close ties with the aforementioned Master. How could you be indifferent to his death? If it was Obi-Wan who had been killed in his place, he would not show the same control of his sentiments like you did.

To his relief, you proved to be a human being. You bursted into tears and the boy sensed anger in you. He waited until you stopped shaking to take a seat by your side.

“Hey.”

You were startled at first. Where did he come from? Did he see you crying? You were about to panic when he took your hand in his—a genuine, spontaneous gesture of caring and concerns

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. I’m not going to tell the Council about how human you are.” His sarcastic remark made you smile a little. “Honestly, I don’t know what’s wrong with these people. Grief is expected in these kind of situations. We are not heartless beings. If it was with me, I’d be mad.”

He was surprised when you said:

“But I am mad. I am so angry. I hate Dooku.” You sobbed out. “He’s so cruel. How could he do this? How?”

“I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do. Like I said, had anyone killed my Master, I’d be feeling the same way.” He hesitantly placed a hand over your back and rubbed it. “I’m sorry for your loss, Padawan Y/N.”

You remembered looking at that boy with blue eyes. It was the first thing you’ve noticed, such deep blue eyes that held the same feelings that you were feeling. A prelude of a storm? A question for which you did not care to search for the answer. Not at the time anyway.

“How do you know my name?”

“I’ve paid attention to Master Yoda.” His answer brought you a chuckle, which pleased the boy. “I am…”

“Anakin Skywalker.” You did not cease to surprise him. He took a like of you.

“How do you know my name?” The same question you asked, he posed it.

“I pay attention that is all.” You made him chuckle too. “Who is your Master?”

“Obi-Wan Kenobi. You know… I think he could train you too.” Anakin suspected this was too early to suggest, but the idea of you desolated was an image that would stuck in his mind even years later.

“I don’t know.” You sighed.

Sadness returned again as you rested your chin over your hands. You’ve never contemplated a life without your master. He made the trainings interesting, the teachings far from boring, and you were getting prepared for your first mission.

However, Anakin would not give you up easily. As he looked at your long hair, tied in a braid, and noticed your delicate features, something within seemed to rise. Perhaps motivated by this unnamed sentiment, he insisted.

“Come on. You can’t give up like that. That was not what your master would have wanted. I promise you, it will be fun.”

“But I don’t think a Master can train two Padawans at the same time.” You reminded him.

But Anakin was overconfident with his idea to let your perspective bash him. One exchange of glances and, voilà, the two of you started out as friends.

***

Current days.

You open your eyes and see you are breathing via some machine. It takes some time to realize you are in a different scenario. Your head seems to weight on your shoulders, you are dizzy.

You unconsciously lift your hand to massage your neck. For Maker’s sake. You grumble before you stand. The room where you are is dark and cold. A shiver runs over your body.

Where am I?

You struggle to leave this litter, but once you do, you hear an almost mechanical breathing. It startles you.

“Who’s there?”

Your voice betrays the horror that has taken grip of your heart. You remember you were about to die in Palpatine’s hands. The very remembrance of how powerless you were brings you close to a panic attack had Anakin not showed up.

Or the person under the dark cape who you presume to be him. He rushes to your side.

“My love, my love.” You don’t see him, he’s behind you, but his familiar touch… it makes you shiver. “Are you well? You are safe, I promise you.”

“Anakin…” You swallow hard before turning at him. You don’t need to see him to hug him tight. “Am I alive?”

“Yes, my dear Y/N. You are. I would never allow you to slip through my fingertips like that.” You sense his metallic hand play with your hair, now loose at your back. “I’d cross a thousand paths to keep you alive. I’d do anything to keep your heart beating.”

You know he means it, every word. It’s what consoles you, what gives you tranquility. However, you are pulled away from his embrace. It’s when you realize there’s something going on.

“Anakin? Why are you pushing me away?” Your voice sounds more tearful than you’d care to admit. “Look at me. What happened? Where’s Palpatine?”

You step forward but he steps backwards. He refuses to let you see him, much to your consternation.

“Palpatine’s dead.” He makes a pause. His breath is mechanical again. “Stay where you are, Y/N. I don’t want you see me.”

“What? Ani…”

“That’s not my name anymore!”

You sense the anger in his voice. You don’t need to overthink it to realize what has led him to where he is now. All that darkness… You feel it flowing. Nonetheless, you step in his direction. He is not moving when you push his hood carefully.

Anakin holds your wrist. His grip is tight, moved by angst, but also frustration and hurt. When looking at you, you see scars in his cheek and the color of his eyes have changed.

A tear rolls down your cheek.

“Something has changed in you.” You say, forgetting how to breathe.

“I’m through with playing their game. Palpatine may have been gone but I am not here to be anyone else’s puppet.” He let’s go of your wrist and turns his back against you.

“Ani…”

“I said that’s not my name anymore!” He screams at you. But you are not frightened by it, though your eyes are blurry by tears. “I’m Vader.”

“You can still be the Jedi you want to be.”

He senses your conflicted sentiments. He turns at you, he too ambiguously angry.

“You cannot pull me down. I’m through accepting limits because someone said so. Too long I’ve been chained by others.” It’s when he softens. “Y/N. Come with me. Together we will be unlimited, we will be finally free to be whomever we want to be. There’s no fight we cannot win.”

He gently lifts his hand to caress your cheek, you incline yourself into his touch. You do the same to him, neither seeking to escape the bond so strong one feels for the other.

“Everyone deserves a chance to fly. I’m flying free. You, above all others, know that I have nothing to be fixed.”

A sob comes out. He is tempted to embrace you, to console you. Vader lifts your chin, trying to read what is in your heart.

“So what is going to be your answer, Y/N?”

***

Five years ago.

You were there when he told you about Padmé Amidala. It shouldn’t disturb you this much. That day he confided you he kissed her, you found out the news were far from pleasant to you.

You were aware of his sentiments for her, of course. As your friendship grew throughout the years and you’ve become an apprentice to Obi-Wan Kenobi—-(it was comical how he received Anakin’s importunating’s request: “What? You spoke to the council before me?! Anakin, for the Maker’s sake, this was out of your league and you were not allowed to…” and then, “Oh, they actually allowed it?! Fine, then. Bring the girl to me.”)—-you easily formed an attachment to Anakin. You didn’t become aware of this until then.

You lied down in your bed, upset about Anakin being smitten with Senator Amidala. Your heart never ached like this before, but you would deal with your disappointment alone. That was the best manner to face it.

You stared up the ceiling, trying to find a way to mend your disappointment. You didn’t consider weeping, but tears came uninvited. They somehow soothed this unwanted discovery. You embraced your pillow and there you stayed. You were about to fall asleep when you heard a knock on the door.

Who that might be?

You rubbed your eyes and cleaned your face with the sheets before throwing a robe as you moved to open the door. To your surprise, Anakin was standing right before you.

“Ani! Why are you up so late and and why did you come to me?”

He looked somehow heartbroken. You welcomed him inside, unable to refuse him any help at all, specially when he appeared so troubled. That day you noticed his insecurities, but underneath them the first signs of his unresolved angry issues.

“Padmé and I had…uh…our first misunderstanding.” He then started telling about his jealousies concerning Clovis and how she was close to kiss him—or so he thought. Admittedly, he’d been wrong to judge so: his perceptions were clouded by his sense of possessiveness towards her. Where’d that come from? He was unable to stop hitting the man. “Something snapped inside of me, Y/N. I don’t know what that was.”

It was not until you came to hold him close that he noticed you had been unwell.

“Hey. Hold on a minute.” He paused and made sure you looked at him. “I’ve been talking about myself, but you… Have you been crying?”

“No.” You lied without second thoughts. “Come Ani…”

He held your wrists and forced you to look at him. He narrowed his eyes, studying your emotions.

“You are lying.” Anakin accused you. “By the Maker, I’ve been selfish by talking about me. I should have asked about you, I should… Fuck. What kind of friend am I?”

“Shush.” You managed to release your wrists and embraced him. “Can we not talk about it? You are not a bad friend. You are not a bad person, Anakin. Neither a bad boyfriend. You just need…to trust in Padmé more. You should talk to her tomorrow.”

You couldn’t even believe in yourself. Sending him away to the woman he loved. You could hear that small part of you, poisoning your good intentions with disdain and self despise.

Anakin reluctantly parted from the embrace to look at you.

“Do you think so? Do you think she’d forgive me?”

You smiled at him.

“I do. Everything always gets right in the end.”

But Anakin sensed something was wrong with you. He could not, however, find the guts to approach you about the matter specially because you shielded your mind and you successfully distracted him by giving great relationship advises.

You soothed his distress, but it was not until he led you believe he went to his quarters, disguising his signature after the door was closed and you said goodbye to each other, that he heard you cry.

It was heartbreaking for him to hear you sob, specially because Anakin couldn’t open the door and surprise you on the act so he would console you. He felt powerless before you. Somehow, he thought he was connected to the reason why you were crying yourself to sleep.

It shouldn’t be this way. Why, Maker, am I sensing I am the reason why she’s hurting? It’s not what I want. To be her disappointment, to be the reason why she’s broken inside.

Anakin ran his hands over his hair, going back to his quarters as disturbed as when he came looking for you.

*

The next day he hoped to approach you, so he’d talk about what happened without raising any kind of suspicious that he knew you cried yourself to sleep. His eyes followed your moves carefully, hoping to capture any chance you’d be showing some sign of hurt that would allow him to intrude.

Turned out that he began noticing your long braid, the white cropped that had one long sleeve and another very short, showing your belly. Anakin didn’t like how some of the troopers seemed to notice your curves, looking at your hips as you came to meet Obi-Wan.

“Is there something distracting you, General Skywalker?” Rex said when noticing his stare at you.

“Uh?” Anakin turned at his friend and smirked. “Maker, no. I was lost in my contemplations, that is all.”

“Of course, if that is what you say to your conscience.” He teased the Jedi. “I thought you were seeing Senator Amidala. What happened?”

Anakin had the decency to blush.

“I don’t know what you are talking about, Rex. Come, we have some mission to discuss.”

However, when his eyes sought for you, Anakin came to realize he had a choice to make in the end, didn’t he? It was either you or Padmé. He sighed.

*

“You are going to Naboo”, you were telling Anakin. “I convinced Obi-Wan that you have matters to discuss with Senator Amidala so you can resolve whatever pendencies you have with her.”

Anakin stared at you, shocked.

“You would do this for me?”

When you smiled at him—a smile that, however, did not rise to your eyes like in the past, or in whatever occasions he was with you—, Anakin finally comprehended what was the reason of your weeping. Fuck, I don’t deserve you, Y/N. You are too good for this world.

“Of course. What are friends for, eh?” You assured him. It only confused him more.

As he watched you engage in conversations with the troops, perhaps flirting with one or other—why would you smile at Fives for Maker’s sake?—Anakin came to realize how selfish he was for unwillingly share you with anyone else at all; and how possessive he found out he could be when it came to you.

No. This is just something temporary, it is the darkness tempting me. I must resist.

Unaware of his thoughts, you sought to distract yourself from him. It was when you were summoned by Obi-Wan. You were told about the mission you were assigned to Mustafar. Curiously, Anakin decided to meddle.

“Master, with all due respect, but you cannot send her there. It’s dangerous.”

“Hello there. I’m here!” You protested.

Anakin shoot you a glare.

“Not now, Y/N.”

Obi-Wan folded his arms and stared at his first Padawan, glancing at him with a mix of amusement and annoyance.

“You underestimate Y/N’s abilities. If the reason why you are saying so is your concern, believe me, Y/N has every capacity for this. Besides, let us not forget she is just as Knight as you are.” He referenced the recent trials you and Anakin went through and were knighted as Jedis at long last.

“I am going, Anakin”, you told him, surprised for his overprotective sense towards you. “You need to accept that. Besides, I thought you had a mission in Naboo?”

He glared at you. Anakin refused to speak to you. But this would not last too long. He’d been plagued with nightmares about you in Mustafar. You’d been dragged there by General Grievous. After defeating him, you were found fighting Count Dooku. Yet, he overpowered you. Every night he barely slept well. Every night the possibility of losing you posed as a real threat.

Where are you, Y/N? Come back to me. Come back safely.

When looking at a sleeping Padmé, Anakin was forced to acknowledge a very difficult truth. Maybe she was never the one to reside in his heart.

Two years ago.

“Look at the stars, Y/N.” Anakin brought you to the roof of the temple. A secretive place that used to be his and his alone—no one ever dreamed about the existence of a place where it was possible to see the universe as it was. He took you there to help sooth you after you returned from your mission.

You had regressed physically hurt and psychologically damaged, a fragile thing that broke your pride. To prevent you shield yourself, Anakin brought you there. And here you were.

“They are beautiful. Intense and free. Wild even”, you contemplated, your head lying in his shoulder. “What are your thoughts about it?”

You made the mistake to look up at him. You were aware that Anakin and Padmé were no more, but hopelessness still resided in your heart. Yet, you forgot about the struggles you’ve been through when his blue eyes were so inviting, so tender, so… intense. All at the same time.

“It gives me peace and inspiration to pursuit the liberty of myself. It makes me wonder whether I’m capable of defying the gravity.”

You giggled.

“A dreamer and a fighter. You never cease to amaze me, Anakin Skywalker.”

His heart skipped a beat. There was much to be said, but after all he went through with Padmé, he was still reluctant to make the first move. When searching for your feelings, Anakin knew nothing had changed.

“What took you so long to notice me the way I am?” He responded sarcastically, smirking when you giggled.

“I’ve always seen you as who you truly are.” It was the truth, you never missed the small details of his personality—even the unspoken dark side you’ve began to sense to grow. “To me, you can’t fool.”

Anakin laughed. He sought after your fingers and locked with his. You remembered the feeling: his callous hand against your soft one giving you a warm feeling. It brought you the silliest of the smiles, so meaningful—yet you were afraid to dive in. You were still traumatized—facing Grievous left you profound scars.

And Anakin was aware that. He had no rush, though. He’d take his time. And you were thankful for that.

“The funny thing about the space is that we know little about it”, you said. “You have to promise me that one day we will explore it.”

He laughed heartily. The mere sound of it seemed to wipe away your fears and restaure your internal balance again.

“Indeed I will. I swear to you…” He paused so you looked up at him. Your eyes were locked. “….I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”

“I appreciate it, Ani. More than anything in the world.”

The two of you exchanged smiles. It was all that mattered back then.

***

A year before the rise of the Empire.

You were dreaming about a strange place. You were in Mustafar again. As you landed in this volcano place, you saw Obi-Wan and Anakin fighting each other.

“Don’t!” Wasn’t it how Grievous predicted it was going to be? Didn’t he warn you? Nonetheless you tried to stop the fight. “Please don’t! This is not how it should be! Please!”

No one seemed to hear you. Except one single person. You turned and you weren’t surprise to see Dooku there. There was a huge fight, but you ended up defeated. Burning in the lava, left barely alive.

You woke up, your face bathed in tears. You were plagued by this anxiety, this torment so full of energy. Your hair was falling loose over your shoulders as you stood and went to dress your Jedi’s clothes. It was raining outside and still dark when you grabbed your saber.

You had to deal with whatever that was weighing on your chest. The next thing you knew, you were outdoors. Under a heavy rain. Practicing with your blue lightsaber. And you wept because you knew this dream was going to happen. And you hated it because you were weak to prevent it.

Anakin had been awakened by the disturbance he felt in you. He had such a strong bond with you that he sensed your suffering. Your pain. Your angst. He pulled his clothes and went after you.

Anakin was perplexed to find your quarters empty: where the hell did you go? His guts then led him outdoors. And there you were. In open field training harshly with your saber.

Maker, what happened? Why were you on the rain?!

He rushed over you.

“Y/N! Y/N! What the fuck are you doing on the rain?” Despite your resistance, Anakin managed to take you away from the heavy rain and cold wind. He led you instead to his quarters where he placed a towel around your shoulders and ensured the ambient to be warm for you.

“My love”, he said in such a way that warmed your heart. You looked at him fondly. “What’s the matter? Talk to me.”

“I was so angry.” You sobbed. “I had a terrible dream, Anakin. The worst was to know, to feel it will happen and I will not be strong enough to prevent it. The pain is just too real. I cannot… I cannot battle alone, I cannot heal!”

You put your hands to hide your face and cried. Anakin’s heart broke when seeing you like this specially because the anger that plagued your heart has been plaguing his for some time now. He was not a stranger to these sentiments—specially concerning the nightmares. He hugged you against him.

“That’s not true.” Anakin rocked you against his arms and you’ve leant into him. “I’ll be there for you, remember? The same way you’ve been there for me. You still have all of me. This pain will ease with time, I promise.”

Anakin lifted your chin and he gently wiped away your tears. You loved him so much that it became so clear the attachment in your eyes. He felt it too. He leant his forehead against yours.

“You know I’ll never leave you, Y/N. You are everything to me. You have always been. I love you.”

“I love you too.” You smiled. A light amidst the darkness came within you. He took your pain away. “I love you more than anything I hold dear. I love you with every inch of my soul. I have always loved you, Anakin Skywalker, and I always will.”

Anakin’s eyes went teary in turn because of how you opened up yourself to him; because your words could have easily been spoken by him. It didn’t surprise neither of you that after the cold, there came the fire.

His lips sought for yours. You left the towel drop your shoulders as you were quick to respond his kiss. His hands held your waist and the next thing you knew was that you sat on his lap. The kiss was urgent, captivating, dominating.

His hands ran up and down your back, removing your Jedi robes. You did the same thing to him, never daring to part the kiss. You were finally subdued by every passion that ran upon your nerve, boiling your blood as he pulled your hair. You wanted more, both of you did.

As the kiss broke so you could catch your breath, you’ve realized you two were without your clothes. You stared into each other’s eyes, slowing down the passion that seemed to burst. But there was neither regret nor shame in both parts.

“Y/N…” Anakin said at long last, eyeing you with desire and want; but also love. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

You responded him with a passionate kiss. Anakin sighed heavily when you did. He took you to his bed, taking a good care of you as he moved his body over you, tangling yours with his.

“I need you, Ani.” You mumbled, enjoying the kisses on your neck, how his hands moved from your back to your chest, caressing your breasts and moving down to the between your legs. “Oh.”

Anakin smirked, aware he’d made you forget all of the distress, all darkness. However, something snapped inside of him.

“Look at me.” He commanded you, gently but firmly all the same. “Look at me, angel.”

“Yes, my love.” You did so obediently, breathlessly.

“You are mine.” He didn’t ask. But in his eyes, you saw a shadow of doubt.

You smiled at him. He warmed you not physically but in so many other ways. You cupped his cheeks with your hands, bringing his head to you.

“Always. Always yours to command.” You vowed, beaming at him.

Anakin’s smile spread on his lips. You could tell by the Force that this was the reassurance he needed. So he kissed you and you melted against his touch.

***

Current Days.

You turn at Vader at long last. He waits for your answer however impatiently so. You touch his cheek, caressing it softly.

“It took me some time to realize how you’ve longed to be free. How you’ve been chained all your life. I wasn’t the only one to carry traumas, to carry scars.” You step forward, closer to him.

You don’t say much, letting the words slip into his mind, so he savors their meaning. His hands are placed around your waist, pulling you against him. With no hood to hide his features, you see tears rolling from his eyes.

“I wanted to save you. I’d never meant any harm to you.” It is all he can say.

“I am not here to fix you, Anakin. No one is going to hold us down anymore. You are safe now.” You gently wipe away his tears. “I’m here to fight away your fears the same way you did mine. I love you. Whether being Anakin or Vader, I love you.”

The man you love closes his eyes. He won you. His heart seems to be relieved of the long time pain had plagued him. You, however, did manage to heal him. Your goodness balances the darkness in him. Nonetheless, there you are. Just the two of you.

“My wife.” He opens his eyes and uses the word that he knows had always been the reason why you blush, specially after he married you. And he smiles as you do so, after all this time it has the same effect on you. “Together we’ll be invincible.”

“I don’t mind as long as we are together, my husband.” You lean into his embrace, smiling at the word that leaves your tongue.

“I am not letting you go.” So Vader says firmly, possessively and gently.

Darkness has never felt so sweet. And you’ve never been in peace…

***

Epilogue.

Vader is reclining in bed as he watches you dress. He is attentive to how your hair drops in cascade, to your curves, how sensually you always move. However, he also sees how happy you are. When the two of you are alone, he allows himself to be his former self again. The old Anakin you once knew… Did he ever disappear, though?

And here he is again. He leaves his bed and stops right behind you. He enjoys to see the unending effect he has on you: the grip Vader has of your heart, how it races every time he’s nearby, how you swoon whenever he comes at you. But mostly, as it happens now when he snakes his arms behind you, how you get wet when his skin warms yours in a mere single touch.

“My Empress.” He greets you with kisses around your neck, his hands lying around your waist and sneaking right into your belly. He smirks when sensing your reaction. “I didn’t allow you to get dressed.”

You giggle softly, leaning against his chest—you never cease to admire his strength; has he always been this strong?

“We have appointments with…”

You gasp when his metallic hand gets right into your womanhood. Your mind goes instantly blank.

“You were saying?” Vader smirks wide as he removes your gown, eyeing how desire overcomes your body.

“My love…”

You try to resist, but damn it doesn’t he know your soft spots? As he cups your breasts, giving bites around your neck—making sure there are visible bruises, though thankfully there’s makeup to cover them—-so you are remembered—as if you needed a reminder—that you are his.

“Are you mine?” Vader asks you as he teases you endlessly.

“Yes!” You gasp, your moans going louder as you are about to climax. “Yes, I’m yours!”

As you do, you get rid of your gown and lead him right back to bed. He smirks as he watches you bossing him there. He lets you slide into his lap after taking a good care of him, but of course he has to hold control over you even there—as if you don’t enjoy that at all, by all means.

But there’s no time to play as he thrusts into you. What had started as an intense display of passion, it is now a slowly, gently and tender lovemaking.

*

You are locked in his arms, pleasantly so. You turn at him, now stuck in these yellow eyes that stare into your y/c ones. Vader is amazed by how, even though you joined his side, you remain uncorrupted. After all these years, you may have flirted with dark forces but you are still you.

“My angel.” He nuzzles against your neck before pressing his lips against yours.

“My love.” You beam at him, playing with his curly hair, gently stroking his cheek.

“We should explore the galaxy…” And his old self is here again, much to your delight. “I promised you, didn’t I?”

Your smile spreads easily on your lips. He remembers. You lean your forehead against his.

“I don’t wish to distract you from your duties, though.”

“You are not. You are my duty, Y/N.”

Many would later say that whilst Vader ruled as Emperor throughout galaxy, you ruled him back home. And by extension you may have contributed to his rule not being as ruthless as many of his followers desired to be.

“As you are mine, love of my life.” You hold him against you. “You are my stardust, my dear love, everything I’ve wanted and more. You are the sun of my existence and I shall always gravitate around you, ignited by the love that lives in me and brightens us.”

Vader detests how sentimental he is with you. His eyes begin to blurry upon your words, so sweet, so full of love and devotion. It’s in the same degree of intensity he loves you. You never judged his actions, his heart. You never tried to amend him because, in your eyes, he was not broken. Even after all these years, you take him as he is and you love him fully and intently.

“I love you, my darling.” He whispers, giving in to the goodness there’s still in him.

How could he fight it away when you bring it so naturally? How could he deny that you make him better everyday as a man? All he wants is you. And all you want is him.

You cuddle him, nuzzling against his neck, refusing to let go of him. There is peace in him as there is in you. Duty is not the death of love, doesn’t seem so anymore.

For as you said, he is your duty now.

*

His hood is eclipsing his features. A long dark cape hides his frame as his yellow eyes stare into the long galaxy. He has little patience with bureaucratic matters, leaving some of these to you.

But where is Y/N? Where is she?

He hates that you take long time to join him. But the scent of roses defeats his impatience. Vader doesn’t have to look away to know you’ve arrived at last.

Dressed in a dark gown with long sleeves and details in red, following the regal style of galactic princesses, you too dress a cape over your royal style as you walk in the throne room.

You smile as you know Vader awaits you. Discreetly, you float towards him. It’s when you take his hand, locking your fingers together.

“You took so long to come.”

“You should have patience, my darling. An empire is not ruled by itself.” You giggle as you lean into his embrace.

Vader smirks at your statement.

“Power suits you well.”

“I wouldn’t say that. I have a responsibility.” You defend yourself, aware how this might sound.

“If that soothes your conscience…” he chuckles. “You cannot pretend you were not born for it, though.”

You roll your eyes. However, if you search in your heart, you’ll see he’s not entirely wrong. You do appreciate conducting political affairs, even though you try doing it moved by a sense of justice. You feel heard and seen. Not… Not just some former slave who the Jedis looked pitifully to.

You blush at your thoughts, though.

“You don’t need to embarrass yourself for thinking so.” Vader says before your silence, reading your thoughts. He makes you look at him. “I’ve been there too. Forget this life now, Y/N. You are safe with me. No one is going to stop us. It does little good to look back.”

“I have no need to look back when I’m with you.” You tell him honestly. “I just…”

You don’t know how to say, but there’s no need to. Vader understands you perfectly. He takes your hand and there presses a kiss. How a simple gesture soothes your fears.

You smile at him.

“Feeling better?” He asks you in a whisper.

“Yes. Thank you, my Emperor.”

Vader smirks at you.

“My Empress.” He brings you even closer if this is possible. “How about exploring the galaxy, eh? I’ve recently learned about a planet that our tentacles hasn’t reached yet.”

You giggle.

“You must promise me the domination will be peaceful though.”

“Have I ever refused you anything, dear love?” Vader looks at you with such affection and tenderness that he smiles when he hears your heart skipping a beat.

“I love you, my sun, universe of my being..” You beam, leaning to kiss his cheek.

When there’s just the two of you, it feels like the old days, where you were just Y/N and he was just Anakin Skywalker.

“I love you, my stardust.”

And there you stay, heading to explore the galaxy as you vowed in your youth.

#Star Wars #star wars imagine #imagine Star Wars #anakin skywalker #Darth Vader #Anakin Skywalker x you #Anakin Skywalker x y/n #Anakin Skywalker x reader #Anakin Skywalker smut #Darth Vader x you #Darth Vader x y/n #Darth Vader x reader #Darth Vader smut #evanescence #anywhere #my immortal #defying gravity

[fishyfod]

The Good Conscientious Soldier; Winter Schnee

My government enforces mandatory enlistment to the Army to all citizens aged 18, just after high school. I refused to enlist, and had to officially pass an army committee to prove I'm a "valid" conscientious objector. There are many ways to avoid army service, and many reasons - which as far as I'm concerned, all are valid - but my main reason stems from my pacifism.

In a militaristic state like my own, my lack of servitude in the army - especially as a conscientious objector - is frowned upon. By everyone. I've had to defend my decision to more than just the official army committee (whose definitions of conscience are arbitrary at best), but also to strangers on the street, friends, family, and myself. One of the arguments I had to reason with, is what I call "the Good Conscientious Soldier".

RWBY Volumes 7 and 8 have managed to affect me in some unexpected ways. The show's good for many reasons, but the way these Volumes handle the themes of dismantling militarism and fascism in their very core means a lot to me. It's handled with care and excellent storytelling that are surprising, considering the show's weakest handled arc is the White Fang arc. The most surprising decision to me, was to make the Happy Huntresses - clearly, the very enemy of Atlas's militarism - be the confident heroes, assured that their decision to defect was true. Instead, the various soldiers take the role of the conflicted characters, the ones that struggle with their decision not to defect, but to serve. Most shows would have flipped this around, and RWBY did not.

The spotlight here is reserved to Winter Schnee, who impressed me greatly in Volume 7 with how her innate struggle between her conscience and her loyalty to the army was displayed. I have not seen many portrayals of this struggle that managed to satisfy me in their difficulty while still maintaining nuance.

The Good Conscientious Soldier is a difficult argument to resolve, I find, because it doesn't attempt to call your conscience into question - it weaponizes it against you. "Yes," the enlister agrees, "you've impressed me that your moral sense is great - but wouldn't that make you the perfect soldier? After all, if soldiers are committing immoral decisions - wouldn't it be better if a moral soldier like yourself, stands there in their place to prevent immoral actions from taking place? Isn't it then preferable, that if you wish to take action to fix our wrongs - you must change us from inside, serve in the army and show us the right way?"

Winter's actions in Volume 8, in particular episode 7, are extraordinary in a sense. After a Volume of struggling between her conscience and Ironwood, hurt after being left behind by Weiss and Penny alike, Winter finally listens to her moral compass and takes action. She commits the second worst offense any officer can do after defecting - she goes against orders. In letting Yang, Jaune and Ren go she disobeys Ironwood, her superior, deciding her sense of morality is more justified here. And she is correct, and her decision proves successful not only to the heroes and Oscar, but for the good of Atlas and Mantle. Monstra is blown up, Salem is temporarily neutralized.

The fallacy of the Good Conscientious Soldier argument, is not that soldiers cannot have conscience, or that their individual actions cannot possibly make things better. The fallacy is that the army is designed never to allow conscientious soldiers who would dare disobey orders to ever be where they are a nuisance. If you've proven to have an inflection towards disagreeing with your superiors, they will not put you where that disagreement can damage their plans. If you disobey orders in an attempt to make things right, you will be replaced by those who would follows orders right. You will be sent to trial, you will be judged, you will be punished - because you dared disobeying orders.

When the Army is faced with a conscientious soldier, the system self-corrects itself, and the anomaly will be removed. That is why the system cannot be changed from within, and why my refusal to enlist in the army must be total - I cannot, in good conscience, take any part in it.

In episode 10 of Volume 8, Winter Schnee’s attempt to make the right call - the moral one - is punished. She is caught red-handed, facing Ironwood - a dangerous fascist general who killed councilmen in cold blood, who abandoned a city and attempts to leverage its very existence for power, who imprisons her sister’s friends and just explained to her how he would extort their lives in “negotiation”, who wishes to violate the very humanity of her friend Penny. And she disobeyed his orders. Mark my words, she will be punished for this severely.

Militarism goes beyond the military, and bleeds into every aspect of society. First and foremost - schools. The education of making one a good soldier starts by making the army such an integral part of life, every pupil must coexistent with them as they learn. Servitude of the army becomes servitude of society. Lack of loyalty to your military and their actions, is betrayal of the very fabric of coexistence with your friends. Defection from the military is defection from your people.

Despite what some may think, the fact it was Harriet Bree that ratted out Winter is not what lead to this punishment. If Harriet Bree wasn’t there, someone else would’ve taken her place - and they would’ve done the exact same thing. Harriet Bree has reported for duty, just as she should have. Because Winter Schnee betrayed not just Ironwood, Winter betrayed Harriet, and made Harriet complicit in her insubordination. Winter effectively betrayed Atlas itself.

Winter is an excellent portrayal of the Good Conscientious Soldier, and I do not say this because I pity her. I am lucky in many ways this fictional character was not, and to look into her situation as if we are the same is self-centered. No, I say this because I value this portrayal, it touches me in ways I did not anticipate to feel from a cartoon show made in the US. I feel her struggle, I understand the difficulty, I want to see her overcome it. I’m rooting for her.

[gif by @chittychittyyangyang]

I hate to end this post on a sour note, but I cannot leave this unsaid. Some of you mocked Winter when she followed her conscience in Episode 7, and gloated as you watched Episode 10 and her insubordination was discovered. Fiction does not always reflect back to reality, but if in this case it does - then whatever form of anti-militarism you think you advocate for, it’s not genuine. Get off your high horse. Your anti-militarism is performative at best. I still hope, that this post was perhaps illuminating. Do with it what you will.

#Winter Schnee #RWBY Analysis #RWBY #my posts #fishy.analysis #long post #sorry I didn't put it under the cut #I couldn't find a right place to do it here

[haikyuucute]

Hi!! I have been following your work and I know you are into omegaverse... Would It be possible to request an omegaverse with an oikawa or ushijima alpha's in which one of their fans make his omega believe that he has marked her too? So the Omega has her heart crushed and confronts them about It in anger but It the end he manages to find up what happened therefore making up with the omega in a smut way? Only if u feel confy with it please! And inspired! Manu many thanks un advance if u take it!

Warning: Smut, mirror sex, choking, little bit of angst

yoyoyoyo I just wanna say I LOVE this request!!

Anywho~

I decided to go with flat ass Oikawa

BASICALLY it was inevitable that his fan club would come to hate you when they first found out you two had a thing going on

You knew this

He knew this

So you both took it in stride when you received glares from jealous omegas whenever they saw you two together or when they smelled his scent all over you

But the real issues started arising the day Oikawa claimed you

It was one thing when he was just marking you through his scent, it wasn’t the first time he had had a girlfriend after all

So everyone naturally thought that you’d both eventually break up

but when they spotted a bond mark peeking out from under your collar

that was it

you had basically taken Oikawa off the market

Forever

So now those omegas REALLY couldn’t stand you

And there was a certain friend group that really just wanted to hurt you and make you regret letting Oikawa claim you

One of the omegas had left you a letter, asking to speak with you after school on the roof

And so you went

But the minute you stepped onto the roof and spotted the girl you immediately regretted it since you knew she practically lead Oikawa’s fan club and as a result despised you the most

But before you could leave she had spotted you and got right to the point

“Do you think you’re special?” “... W-what?” “Do you think you’re special because Oikawa-kun claimed you?” “I d-don’t—“ “Because you’re not— see-“

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion when she pulled down the collar of her uniform to reveal a bond mark, but what she said next had you stomach dropping to the pit of your stomach

”Oikawa claimed me too, so you’re not as special as you think”

You were immediately filled with shock, horror, and betrayal

She had to be lying but at the same time your judgement was too clouded by this sudden claim to think clearly

And if she was telling the truth, then that had meant Oikawa would probably leave you too, not caring that you’d be forever marked by him

You attempted to argue with her, but she completely shut you down and in a flurry of emotions, completely blinded by this supposed betrayal, you searched for him

You found him in the gym as his practice was about to start

Your distressed scent hit him before he actually saw you, immediately being filled with worry, especially when his eyes landed on you and he saw how angry and upset you were and on the verge of crying

You completely blew up at him right then and there in front of his whole team

You claimed that he was an asshole for not telling you about that other omega he claimed, especially since he had claimed you

Overall you had left him vv confused and his teammates shocked, wondering if this revelation was true or not— and if it was, the third years were already planning on how they’d get away with murdering Oikawa for hurting you like that

But once you finally mentioned this omega’s name everything suddenly clicked together and he understood what had happened

And quite honestly he was pretty insulted that you ever believed something like that

You must’ve not thought much of him as an alpha if you believed he’d claim another omega, leave them, and not tell you about it

Not to mention the insinuation that he would’ve done the same thing to you

Oh— and not to mention the little fact you practically humiliated him in front of his team

When his eyes darkened you immediately shut up

And with that simple look, you realized how wrong you were

So now, Oikawa would have to prove himself as an Alpha

And that meant a very long and drawn out punishment for you~

“Keep your eyes open, Omega,” Oikawa growled against your ear, hand tightening around your throat.

You wrenched your eyelids open, immediately coming face to face with yours and Oikawa’s reflection in the mirror in front of you.

You were a mess, your back to his chest as your sweaty figure trembled in his arms while he thrust up into you. The sight of his cock disappearing in your cunt upon every thrust, left you dizzy and lightheaded.

But he had a point to make, and if he had to show you in the most literal way that you were his only omega, then he would.

The hand on your throat slid up to grasp your jaw and tilt your head to the side, placing your bond mark on full display.

”Are you embarrassed by the little show you put on this afternoon?” Oikawa taunted, voice taking on a more airy tone, “Hm Omega? Or did you like making your Alpha look bad in front of his teammates?”

”N-no Alpha— m’ s-sorry,” you managed to choke out with a sob, nearing the verge of incoherency.

He hummed, continuing his slow and torturous pace as he watched your reflection. Your hooded eyelids trying to resist falling closed, his eyes lingered on your heaving chest and he relished in the sounds of your whimpering cries. The pretty sight was topped off by the sight of his mark left on your neck, making a wave of possession wash through him as he tightened his grip on you.

It made him question how you could possibly think he’d waste his time by having marked another omega. No other omega could compare to the one in his arms.

He sped up his thrusts, forcing more high pitched cries from your lips and a low groan to emit from his throat.

“Y’know... ‘m insulted ‘Mega,” Oikawa panted out, the soft, velety walls of your cunt driving him insane, “That you think... I’d waste my time with any omega that walked my way.”

Your heart pounded in your chest as you still fought the urge to shut your eyes, and the dark look you found lingering behind Oikawa’s eyes made you nervous— but it was hard to feel stupid over the misunderstanding like you had been earlier when your mind was completely consumed by a hazy lust.

But you knew it was wrong to question Oikawa like you had.

”’M sorry,” you tried again in a broken sob, “I didn’t m-mean it—“

”Quiet,” he snapped, his eyes glued to your still healing bond mark— he knew what he needed to do to drive the fact that you were his one and only. His voice dropped to a rumble, “...Put more trust in your Alpha, Omega.”

With that he had sunk his teeth into the still healing wound, ripping a loud cry from your throat.

But he knew once it scarred over, you’d never question his loyalties again.

—

Taglist:

@shiguraaa @tycrackculture @kynyta @cuddlesslut @baeshijima @yams046 @cutepet09 @kkimoka @elegant-gypsophilia @mrkoala4prsdnt @sapphy-taffy6969 @yougivemebutterfliess @melanieacademy @yeet-these-hoez @nekomasmeow @thirsthourdemon @nekoma-hoe @curiouslilbeast @badboysdoitbetter2 @nervousenergyy @coupsieddori @mizuchan24-blog @ly-nia @mer92 @voids-universe @savemesteeb @bokurotrash @basicallyberry @cherryonigiri @k-eijiakaashi @ethylalcoholforfandoms @sanemisthiccbih @a-book-lover-things @rue-was-here @prod983 @reject-tinkerbell @emotionalfangirl2002 @kawaiipotatochan @alienatian-blog @mortifiedmoon @amirahroronoa @wholeasswhore @asahi-is-jesus-periodt @fake-id-69 @kkoalaworld @hithisismina @lilidrawz @hatanaka-shiori @royalmuffinsworld

#haikyuu #omegaverse #haikyuu omegaverse #haikyuu smut #oikawa tooru #oikawa #tooru #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa x reader #tooru x reader #alpha!oikawa

[pigstepping]

Alright so we've known for a while that Techno builds up defenses to compensate for social vulnerability, but man did this stream showcase the extent of that vulnerability. This is Quackity, the guy who tried to publically execute Techno, who imprisoned Phil, who took Carl hostage. The same dude who literally said that he wouldn't stop trying to kill Techno until he succeeded. And even after all that, all it took for Quackity to get his foot in the door with Techno was lasting through one (1) teamup without backstabbing him. That was enough for Techno to act friendly with him, share information, offer him food, think it's reasonable to assume that Quackity is visiting to celebrate Techno's birthday, etc. It was enough that when Techno asked point blank if Quackity was lying, he basically accepted Quackity's answer at face value. (Which, also, if you suspect someone is lying to you, I wouldn't say asking them bluntly whether they're lying to you is the most savvy way to get answers. The question almost read more as a "feeling insecure so I'm gonna super casually seek reassurance with a friend" with a hint of defensive posturing.)

And like, it makes me emo right, cuz even after L'manberg, even after Tommy, Techno can't help but give people the benefit of the doubt. He's self aware enough about how this can be used against him to try to distance himself for his own safety, like we saw him try with Ranboo. But ultimately he can't help but trust people who are kind to him, and he doesn't have the skill to tell when that kindness is just surface level. And worst of all, he seems to have done enough healing with the Syndicate that maybe he's starting to believe that he can trust people without fear. Quackity is about to burn that all to the ground. Again.

Honestly, so much of Techno's character is explained by him desperately trying to accommodate for this profound vulnerability. It explains the paranoia and the resource hoarding, because when he can't reliably distinguish his friends from his enemies, an attack really could come at any time from any direction. It explains why he's so focused on presenting a facade of invincibility, because being too scary to antagonize is the only real deterrent he has against being targeted. It explains the reluctance to publically display emotional weakness and attachment, because he can't gather the same intel about the people around him which puts him at a disadvantage on the social battlefield.

Notably, it also explains both his ride-or-die loyalty for his loved ones and his intense reaction to betrayal. Because when you can't accurately discern people's intentions, you just have to gather hard evidence of trustworthiness until you feel safe taking a leap of faith into trusting them wholeheartedly. Trust is like flipping a switch. And if someone ends up betraying that trust, it permanently proves that they're capable of betrayal, which means it could happen again any time with no warning. And sure enough, when Techno feels betrayed by someone, he develops a wariness for them that seems to stick even if he ends up being civil with them down the line. (I've been thinking a lot about what this trust model implies about Techno's relationship with Phil, btw. The unmatched depth of his faith in Phil has to mean that he's ammassed a huge amount of hard evidence that Phil would never hurt him, which makes me Very Soft.)

Anyway I'm buckling down for watching Techno relive all his worst traumas when Quackity takes advantage of this vulnerability on Saturday :)

Caveat #1: this analysis is built on the premise that Techno does not consider Quackity's actions with the butcher army a betrayal. In my mind, a betrayal can't happen without initial loyalty, which the two of them never had for each other. I think a similar notion applies to Techno's relationships with both Tommy and Ranboo, who both worked against him before befriending him, but I'd say neither of them really betrayed him on a personal level prior to the peak of their friendship. Tommy clearly wasn't the decision maker during the pogtopia days, and Ranboo hadn't even met Techno before the butcher army as far as I know.

Caveat #2: I am aware that I could be underestimating Techno's capacity for emotional manipulation as well. We have, admittedly, seen him perform friendliness to throw enemies off the scent before, such as when Techno acted really casual and clueless around BBH during the egg stream but it ended up being a ploy to distract BBH from Ranboo following them. But then again, he also agreed to go with BBH in the first place despite how openly suspicious BBH was acting, and I don't read Techno as motivated enough by curiosity to knowingly leap into danger just to get answers. So yes, it's possible that Techno was acting more trusting of Quackity than he really felt to get Quackity's guard down, and there were hints of this such as Techno misleading Quackity about the nature of the favor he owes Dream. But Techno is still in an extremely dangerous position here because being a good liar doesn't mean you're good at picking up on other people's lies, and at the end of the day, he seems poised to walk right into Quackity's trap.

#6.6 update: so fortunately I overestimated Techno's trust in quackity and underestimated his growth with the syndicate #quackity can't destroy Techno's ability to trust and extend the benefit of the doubt because Techno loves his friends too much ueueueueue #we are back to technoblade metaposting #at long last i received enough content to confidently project on him again I Am Home At Last #technoblade #quackity #philza #dream smp analysis #c!quackity critical #dsmp spoilers #6.1 #if not supposed to relate to techno then why is everything he does so damn relatable hmmm #long post #m #p

[deans-haunted-baby]

Okay I see there are those who are confused as to why most of us are pissed about 15x19 I will gladly explain in depth:

Let’s start off with our boys Adam Milligan & Michael. These characters have not been seen for 10 fucking years. During that time there were Adam stans like myself campaigning like mad to have him and the infamous archangel return for some much needed closure. We had to content ourselves with headcanons, fanfictions and metas based on what we briefly knew of Adam and Michael as people while they unfairly sat in Hell. You might have seen the “Adam’s Still in Hell” memes that circulated. WE WAITED OVER A DECADE FOR THIS. And finally SPN answers our prayers and returns these boys back into the story for the final season. None of us anticipated what their arc and dynamic would look like. Before we could only imagine who these two characters were/are after having been trapped in a cage so long; what their personalities would be like and if they’d be antagonistic to TFW. 15x08 was a surprise because not only were Adam and Michael likable right out of the gate but the writing for them and their dynamic was damn near flawless! And Jake fucking stole the show he killed it as these two. It’s a crime they were not featured in more episodes because the chemistry between these characters is amazing and they’re played by the same dude.

We were given so much background into both Adam and Michael’s psyches in just a short period of time. Their motivations, interests and how they viewed those that wronged them (like the Winchesters); how Hell affected/changed them both and how they viewed their families. We got to see them banter, cooperate with one another and most importantly their different personalities. With Jake Abel appearing in only a handful of SPN episodes, he still fleshed out Michael and Adam beautifully; giving them layers and complexities that most side-characters (who’ve appeared more times than they have) didn’t. The way Jake played Adam’s anger and resentment towards his brothers was brilliant because it’s more under the surface compared to his angsty teenage self in 5x18. He’d become somewhat restrained, laid-back, gentler and wiser which works because Adam displays traits similar to Sam and Dean. He’s kinder and has a sense of humor but none of that distracts from rational thought as he’s quick to analyze and dissect situations. Man, he would’ve made a great hunter/Men of Letters recruit. We know right off the bat Adam’s pissed at his brothers for abandoning him in a thousand-year-prison-sentence and didn’t lift a finger BUT that ironically doesn’t compromise his willingness to help them unlike his past self in 5x18. Jake gets the point across with this character without saying much and that’s what made him so compelling to watch in this episode.

Now Michael was even more of a mystery onion since he wasn’t onscreen as much as Adam had been in past episodes so Jake got to really build on top of this character. Going from the uptight, cold-blooded merciless celestial warrior/dutiful son of God we saw in 5x22 to someone whom despite his arrogance and regal princely demeanor was very human, intelligent, fair, mindful and compassionate. He trusted Adam and respected his opinions even if he didn’t agree 100%. Whereas most angels take over the vessel completely from their original occupant; Michael chooses to share his vessel with Adam as a mutual agreement which says a lot about who he is. He’s fascinated with humanity and wanted to explore it instead of returning to his throne in the clouds. We know that Michael was created specifically to be Humanity’s protector and guardian of Heaven and Earth so these quirks he’d demonstrated in 15x08 aren’t too far off. He holds a lot of pain inside from his abandonment issues with his father whom he loves to a fault and grief over the death of his brothers. On the surface there’s very much an abused child syndrome thing going on with him though he masks it with a domineering presence. And above all this we saw that he was capable of forgiveness. Whether or not Michael always had these traits inside to begin with, its very evident that his friendship with Adam influenced the person he became post-Hell. And that was someone who, like Castiel, chose to rebel for the sake of free will by aligning himself with the Winchesters after witnessing the evil his father had committed. He actually cared about saving the world. This is what we call character development.

What does 15x19 do? It shits all over that. We don’t get to see Adam and Michael’s dynamic at all; and this was perhaps one of (if not the first) most healthy portrayal of a relationship between an angel and its original vessel occupant in the history of Supernatural. Adam is just killed off-screen Thanos style without so much as one last word and Michael barely reacts like he gives a crap. It was just established to us in 15x08 that he’d developed an emotional bond with Adam through years of inhabiting the same body. He protected Adam while they were trapped together in Hell. They were each other’s only friend and source of comfort. They’d developed a certain co-dependency on each other while respecting one another’s space. They’d both made peace with their joint situation. All they had was each other and the writing in 15x19 basically tells us their relationship meant absolutely NOTHING to Michael based on his OOC actions in this episode. He shows up much darker and shadier now that Adam is gone and its like all those years of friendship, things like that independence, newfound strength and humility he’d gained from living with a human for so long are erased. Michael just reverts back to Chuck’s 5x22 bitchboy persona in the most ridiculous 180 shift I’ve ever seen in my whole damn life. And all because his little brother called him mean names. Pitiful. Just when he lectures Lucifer about standing up for what’s right; he betrays his own words, his allies and the rest of humanity in T-minus 2 minutes. That is total character assassination. Nothing about this motivation makes any sense.

There’s no build up to it, no foreshadowing in 15x08 or throughout 15x19 until they get to the lake. He’s completely deconstructed as a character in this episode and rendered weak. It’s like 15x08 never happened. Stripped of all his development for lousy shock value. Instead utilizing all of what he’d learned through Adam and sticking it to Lucifer by proving he could be more than what Chuck tried to mold him into; Michael becomes just another NPC in the story forfeiting the hero he was. And his reasons for siding with Chuck are never specified. Was it about about saving Adam? Was it about proving something to Lucifer (whom he’d already killed in anti-climatic fashion)? Was it all an act that he was in on with the Winchesters; cause there’s absolutely NO FUCKING WAY they could’ve predicted he’d flip on them like that for their magical plan to work. Not after everything Chuck’s done, killing Adam and Jack and leaving Michael to rot in Hell for eternity. And why would he suddenly go along with destroying the Earth when defeating Chuck would probably get Adam back (if that was his goal) which IT DID not to mention its his sworn duty to freaking protect humanity, hello? So his betrayal meant jack shit in the end as it got him killed by his fucking dad!! He’s brought back into the show only to be ruined forever and killed off in the stupidest fashion.

Moving on.

Jack Kline & Castiel. This iron-clad relationship has been in development for 4 in 1/2 years since before Jack was even born. And next to Adam & Michael its the other most healthy relationship on the show. Castiel, a million year old celestial being, spent the first 9 years of his arc on Supernatural following around the Winchesters, being torn between his loyalty to them and to Heaven. He rebelled when he was supposed to be a straight-by-the-book warrior of God. And he defied every rule in the process even when the odds were stacked against him. There was an endless rinse and repeat cycle of love, loss, betrayal and redemption when it came to his relationship with Sam and Dean. It made his character complex, interesting and layered but it still didn’t give him an arc that was his own. Castiel started out moreso being written as just the Winchester’s angel BFF/side-kick. Until Lucifer got Kelly Kline pregnant in 12x08 then things really took off. Before this, Castiel was a lost soul. His faith was broken, he was depressed, lonely, battered and rundown from years of being conflicted over the other angels and Sam & Dean. He felt he’d lost a sense of self and meaning in his life. And didn’t have a mission. Once he turned on Heaven’s orders, Castiel was a rebel angel without a cause so to speak. But like I said this changes the moment he meets Kelly.

Originally Castiel was suppose to kill Kelly in 12x19 because she was carrying the child of the devil and Nephilim are considered forbidden abominations. Told that if Lucifer’s kid was born he could unleash even more evil into the world. But instead of doing what he thought he should, Castiel decides to runaway with her. Choosing to protect her from all threats (Lucifer, demons, other angels, princes of Hell); this especially included the Winchesters. During this short time-frame the angel develops a strong, emotional bond with Kelly and her unborn son that stretches all the way to the S12 finale; to the point where it actually gave him a power-boost. From the womb, Jack appoints Castiel to be his father and protector and he’s given a glimpse into the child’s destiny that he’ll bring paradise to the world. A prophecy that the writers establish head on. This is an unusual circumstance because right here is where Castiel’s solo arc apart from the Sam & Dean takes shape. The journey of becoming a first time parent and guardian. Its a new kind of independence that for the first time has nothing to do with his friends or his family members/colleagues in the sky. Its his own personal mission that he willingly accepts, the second he connects with Jack from inside Kelly. Castiel immediately falls in love with him, before they even see each other; and adopts the boy devoting himself to keeping him safe. Making a promise to Kelly that would later become a vital plot-point in the seasons to come.  

Castiel literally risks everything (Heaven and Earth) to ensure Jack’s birth and ends up dead by 12x23′s startling conclusion. Leaving the newborn infant Nephilim alone in the care of the Winchesters going into season 13; scared, confused and aged into a seemingly 18 year old boy for his own protection. And Alexander Calvert who is a fantastic addition to the cast really brings something wonderful to this role; he’s like a breath of fresh air and a bright light in the middle of a dark room. Jack’s naïve, innocent and curious about his surroundings but also as Castiel once put it “remarkably intuitive”. Right when he’s introduced his arc is intentionally paralleled with Castiel’s. Their alien-fish-out-of-water beginning is practically identical as is their adorable stoic facial expressions. Like father like son. And this helps because while the angel is currently dead in the beginning of season 13, there’s an empty void he’s left behind. So Jack is kind of his temporary stand-in. Odd enough this type of switcharoo would’ve been considered very controversial but it’s handled quite well. Alex is so likable and charming I almost wish Supernatural had introduced him sooner. I mean I really thought I was looking at Castiel’s actual mini-me and not the son of Satan. But I digress Jack’s story in the first half of this season is pretty much about discovery and reuniting with Castiel. He’s a baby so everything is new to him but he’s also one of the most powerful beings in the universe destined for greatness which makes the Winchesters very nervous.

Jack remembers choosing Castiel as his dad which is why he already feels strongly connected to him. Its a bond so powerful that it actually resurrects Castiel out of the Empty the first time. Something Chuck himself was unable to do (that was until the mess that is 15x19). When they’re finally reunited the payoff comes so naturally. Misha and Alex have such a phenomenal onscreen chemistry starting with that first hug; they really play off one another so well that it doesn’t feel like two angels interacting but a genuine father and son duo. So much of what makes Jack and Castiel’s relationship so relatable, deep and endearing is because of what the actors bring to it. But they’re not just a fascinating relationship, they’re compelling on their own too. Both trying to find their way in the world and within the Winchesters’ lives. Death is no stranger to either of them (tragic being that Jack is only a toddler). They’ve each experienced their own personal pain, traumas, life lessons, mistakes and decisions. The biggest for Castiel would be his deal with the Empty to save Jack in 14x08. While for Jack it was the consequences of said deal that would lose his soul causing him to accidently kill Sam and Dean’s mom in 14x18 as a result (something that Jack struggles with immensely to the brink of depression from so much guilt and regret that he’d rather die). Repercussions that would follow into the shows final season. What’s interesting about this deal though is that Castiel made it on parental instinct alone not as a promise to Kelly. He chose to sacrifice himself for the sake of his son as a selfless act of love and kept it a secret from Sam & Dean until his death in 15x18. That’s the extent how much this child meant to him. The other great thing about their family dynamic is that it parallels nicely with the Winchesters. Castiel and Jack share this unconditional love that can never be broken. its even greater than their ties to the Winchesters themselves just as Sam & Dean’s love for each other is greater than any of their other relationships. They would do anything for each other. Castiel would go to the ends of the earth for the little nougat baby because that’s his son.  

Each time these characters were faced with danger or died, Castiel and Jack were overcome with extreme devastation and distress. That said its not just pain that binds these two its happiness. Jack is the best thing that ever happened to Castiel. Literally becoming a father to that child saved him. It brought him back to life, restored his faith and gave him a sense of self-worth and hope he’d long since abandoned. And for Jack, Castiel is the best dad he’ll ever have! He gave this baby comfort, wisdom, nurturing, strength. Was always there when he needed him whether it was to talk or to have his back. No other person in Jack’s life has ever made such an important impact nor made him feel more safe and loved than Castiel. Even when Jack had done such a horrible thing to Mary alienating himself from his family; it was Castiel’s unyielding devotion to Jack that ended up being his salvation. This was huge because once again he’d chosen over the Winchesters proving that no matter what (whether it be the world ending) his son comes first. So when Castiel’s pact with the Empty finally comes due in 15x18 you’d think it’d have an earth-shattering affect on Jack in 15x19. I mean for the first bit it does...until he becomes God. Then its like to hell with that relationship. Castiel is a complete afterthought to Jack and the rest of TFW in this episode. JACK DOESN’T EVEN GET TO GRIEVE HIM PROPERLY. And he just lost his dad because of a deal he’d made a year ago for him. A DEAL JACK HAS BEEN FUCKING DREADING WHILE HE WAS SOULLESS MIND YOU. And when he finally has the power to bring him back, he doesn’t? Jack just walks around with a conceited smirk on his face, bids Sam and Dean adieu and fucks off. I mean who gives a shit right, its only your dad that you love more than anything. This was extremely OOC given that time in 14x14 Jack nearly lost his shit when Castiel got infected with gorgon poison; the anti-venom wasn’t working so Jack resorts to using his powers putting his soul at risk.

I mean if he was so limited to helping Castiel in the Empty AT LEAST FREAKING CLARIFIY THIS TO THE AUDIENCE. This is not about shipping a certain pairing btw. Jack becoming God is not the issue its his characterization after the fact. His first instinct would’ve been to save his dad above getting in touch with the Earth. Yes we knew this transformation was coming it was foreshowed way back in Season 12. Does that justify bad writing or character assassination?? HELL NO.

This is what I’m talking about, episode 15x19 deliberately butchers these characters and their relationships. It shat all over them. No one is behaving like themselves. The pacing is wonky and inconstant. The script feels like it underwent several rewrites and I swear there were scenes cut out. The acting is off too and maybe the pandemic could be blamed for these things but it ultimately falls on the writer. Buckleming screwed up by showing us they don’t know who the hell these characters are, their motivations nor do they give a rat’s ass. And its noticeable on screen. I’ve known better fanfiction writers for SPN than these guys. It’s like they all came back to work but just didn’t care to put the effort into it. That’s why people like me are upset and we have every freaking right to be. Some of us have been with this series for the entire 15 year run. I at least expect these characters to be handled better and for things to make sense. 15x19 doesn’t and its not satisfying its just a cruel joke. The writers and Dabb should be embarrassed to have put this out there thinking we’d just swallow it and shut up. But far as I’m concerned the only thing this episode serves is to disrespect and ruin everybody while angering long-time fans.

MICHAEL. ADAM MILLIGAN. JACK KLINE AND CASTIEL DESERVED BETTER. And that’s the tea.

#adam milligan #Jack Kline #supernatural #castiel #michael the archangel #michael spn #SPN #midam #dadstiel #adam x michael #castiel x jack #spn 15x19 #supernatural season 15 #michael #spn spoilers #spn season 15 part 2 #spn rant #spn meta #THERE IS NO JUSTIFICATION FOR WHAT HAPPENED HERE #supernatural 15x19

[thedeviljudges]

yohan + physical tough + trauma response

disclaimer: this is based off of eps 1-7, and preview of ep 8; i wholeheartedly recognize that this post may become the worst meta ever depending on how the rest of the show goes. however, i do think there are still some interesting things to note about yohan. a lot of this is also me just talking shit out as i was sifting through all the eps again. i’m more than willing to change my mind or hear other thoughts.

also i kinda, sorta, unnecessarily included all of the moments of yohan and any physicality. a lot of them are not super important, but i do think they help draw a distinction in how he reactions when surprised, alone and around other people.

so, here’s a long ass post that is literally 99% me bullshitting, lmao.

so i wanted to delve more into yohan’s response to physical touch by way of trauma. while i know a lot of us have pieced it together, i think it’s pretty cool to lay it all out visually because i think there’s much more justification for his reactions; not to say it makes it right, but it does really flesh out a fundamental part of his characterization that i think is highly, highly important to understand.

yohan lives on the cusp for reckless behavior, almost as if he doesn’t care whether he lives or dies. the car chase, running through industrial buildings where safety isn’t a concern, etc.

episode one

the first time we see an instance of his disinterest in physical touch is when he first meets gaon. he actually offers him his hand, but the way he goes about it isn’t a handshake. he almost looks hesitant, and then he squeezes and does not shake. it’s truly a split second gesture out of formalities. granted, he’s just met someone he thinks looks like isaac, and might be in a little bit of… not shock, but certainly distracted.

later in the episode, yohan is in an abandoned building with homeless people. he’s checking people’s wrist, but he’s quick about leaving them alone. until, a homeless man comes up behind him and grabs him. in response, yohan swings his arm to knock him off. then, he punches him, steps on him and decides whether he’s worth the effort. again, granted, no one likes to be surprised in a creepy situation like this, so his response? kinda understandable at this point.

next is the scene where yohan catches gaon in his office, where he pushes him against the bookshelf and kinda, more or less, comes off as a bit luring. we know yohan knows gaon’s lying, but a couple of things here. yohan initiated the physical contact, and he did it because of the suspicious nature of gaon. yohan also knows how to use his power and charms to catch people off guard, and i think really, he was messing with gaon when he brushed his shirt and asked him if he lived alone. gay as fuck, lmao, but i also see it as an intimidation tactic, in a way.

i could also pose a couple of theories aside from intimidation if we wanted to squint:

yohan is still in a state of awe of gaon’s resemblance to isaac. he’s not heard his voice or been around the other man for at least 10 years, and now there’s tangibility at his fingertips.

if we want to look at it from the gay perspective, gaon is clearly intriguing to yohan, and as i’ll note further down in this post about yohan in relation to physical touch, i’m sure it could be assumed that this is one of the first people in a long time that yohan has an interest in making a connection with. however, because of his upbringing, it’s clear he does’t necessarily know how to connect with people (ie. ep 7 trying to connect with elijah, eps 1-6 with him trying to non-verbally tell gaon that he has bigger plans than what’s in front of his face. his admission in ep 5 about being monster). more or less, he knows his charms can be used, but when it comes to actually flirting and/or liking someone? it’s left to be addressed, but could be assumed he’s just as awkward about it as when we see him at home.

we also see a small instance of him letting someone dress him. there’s still touch involved, but it’s very clear what the intention is. he has control over the situation, and it’s not a surprise.

the next time he engages in physical touche, again, he initiates it because he’s in control, and it’s meant to be comforting, to an extent.

and then to round everything off, we actually see him reaching for isaac, who is actually gaon in the court scene, but you know storytelling and all that. he reaches for him both in the courtroom and within a flashback.

him reaching out for isaac seems to be a motif within the show as it happens later on, of which i’ll point out.

episode two

we see him initiate a handshake again. at first, to gaon, and then with jinjoo. controlled situation.

later on in the episode is when we see our first glimpses of batshit crazy yohan, an absolute delight and fav, lmao. he actually reaches out to the spoiled kid, and it’s clearly to legitimize intimidation and a position of power.

okay look, i’m not even gonna front, this was a cute scene. when jinjoo gets out of the car, he checks to make sure she’s okay, and they have this moment before they go onto the red carpet where they smile at each other. yohan is confirming she’s okay, and she agrees. again, controlled, and i don’t know for certain if yohan is more comfortable around women, or it’s just mere fact that he doesn’t always have a problem with touch when the situation is safe. he actually lets her take his arm further on in the scene, and yes, it is a public display of niceties, and he knows that.

so in the midst of this happening, we get the ‘devil child’ story. and i want to make note of the bird scene because i do think it’s important to note that people yohan cares for, he’s willing to go to the ends of the earth to protect them. yes, they’re children in school, but the girl next to him is the only one who showed him an ounce of kindness, and yohan is proven to remain loyal to those he loves or trusts in some capacity.

of course, he ends up pitting the rich and the poor kids against one another for their betrayal and making him an outcast. in yohan’s mind, what he did wasn’t necessarily wrong because his sense of justice is based on protection and when people wrong him or those he loves, it’s seeking justice on their behalf or making the situation better - not in the technically right way, but right to him. yohan comes across as a fixer and problem solver.

yohan has a very, very strong sense of trust and loyalty, and we can assume that stems from isaac, who clearly tried to protect yohan from his father, who went out of his way to do so as best as he could as a young kid. yohan values loyalty not because he necessarily wants lap dogs and people to do his bidding. it comes from a place of love and security he’s never really had.

anyway, back to the gala with jinjoo, he does shake the minister’s hand. again, controlled. there are cameras. he also puts his arm around her, and that’s mainly because it’s a battle of the wills, and she’s trying to reprimand him, lol, as if she could. he hugs her a little hard and a little enthusiastically, and you can clearly tell it’s for show.

and then he dances with both jinjoo and sunah. and there is a stark difference between these two scenes. yohan actually teaches jinjoo the proper placement for where she should rest her hands and how to move. he’s actually having a good time with her, and again, it’s actually really cute.

with sunah, he’s reluctant and definitely on guard. he can tell from her demeanor that her intent is with purpose trying to get close to him. at this point in the story, he probably sees it as sunah coming onto him and not because she’s actually the maid from when they were children. when sunah reaches up to whisper in his ear, you can really tell he doesn’t like her being that close to him at all especially because her words may not be overly threatening, but there is purpose behind them, which means yohan’s guards are up. he physically removes her hand and than blatantly turns her down: she tells him that enjoying things alone isn’t fun, and he counters it by saying he’s having a lot of fun.

so at this point to reduce on some screen caps, he meets the minister’s family, has handshakes with her husband and the kid he went after to essentially beat up his car with a mallet, lmao. the handshake is quite funny because they both know what happened. yohan is in control, and that kid is shaking in his boots.

then the explosion happens, and of course, it makes sense that yohan helps gaon after he’s hurt. gaon has never been a threat to yohan, and it’s clear yohan’s not heartless whatsoever, but it’s also poignant to note that gaon helped saved yohan’s life, thus starting yohan’s journey of loyalty to gaon. i think he’s always had his sight set on gaon to begin with, possibly long before he even became an associate judge, but if this was a test, gaon passed it with flying colors because if gaon can rescue a little girl, and he can help an old man who fell off his bike, would he really go the lengths to save yohan who has shown him time and time again his sense of justice is different?

episode three

yohan reacts negatively to soohyun and within good reason when she questions where gaon is. he turns away because for him, the conversation is over, but for her, it’s not. to get his attention, she grabs him when he’s not paying attention, and of course he has a very adverse reaction. at this point, it can be chalked up to disrespect given the fact that he’s a head judge and she’s just a mere cop, but hindsight is 20/20. he does throw her arm off by flicking out his arm. but instead of berating her, he just tells her to catch the culprits who harmed gaon and leaves it at that.

and then of course, everyone’s favorite scene and rightfully so. yohan caring for gaon? very sexy of him. gaon is injured, poses no threat, and as i said above about yohan finding some amount of loyalty in gaon means his physical boundaries aren’t jeopardized. and for that, we get these wonderful scenes of yohan helping gaon as he heals.

and then scenes of him messing around with gaon by hitting him. truth be told, i wonder if this was something him and isaac did as young kids. anyone with siblings know how that goes. fake picking on each other? fake bickering? yeah.

and then it slowly, but surely, it’s revealed that yohan didn’t have the same upbringing as isaac did. our first instance that something at home wasn’t right wasn’t just the conversation with ms. ji and gaon. it’s the flashback with yohan reading in his room when the door opens. he hastily pretends he’s asleep, and you can see he’s visibly shaking and breathing roughly until he realizes it’s isaac who’s there to give him books.

and that’s also when we get our first glance of what kind of abuse yohan suffered from at the hands of his father. it’s clear this isn’t the only incident, and there’s been many times that isaac wasn’t around to help defend him.

it’s also very clear in how yohan acts when he’s terrified and that his abuse has gone on long enough to be a routine pattern in the house. any time he hears heavy footsteps or thinks his father is around, he visibly shakes and gets panicky.

episode four

i include this scene because it’s been noted that a lot of books yohan reads are about humans, human nature, animals, animalistic tendencies, and he says random shit like this that directly points to what he thinks about humanity and humans themselves. we notice this most prominently at the dinner with gaon and jinjoo earlier on when he describes that he likes the feel of the chew and that he cannot taste. he always mentions hunting and prey, and i think this is one of those very clear instances where he actually reveals to gaon what he truly, truly thinks; no gimmicks. this also comes into play later on in ep 6 when elijah is worried about him being out all night. yohan clearly doesn’t trust people at all. he understands their intentions, their motives and how much pain they can cause other people for their own profit and their own gain. it makes sense that he wouldn’t leave his house, especially if he has a strong sense of loyalty to isaac (even after all these years) and caring for elijah.

this is also one of the very direct moments that yohan doesn’t understand family dynamics. when it comes to people, it’s a giant chess game. not only that, later on in the episode when they’re in the car and yohan talks about how people, no matter what, are always the same in front of greed, yohan is cynical, and he expects the bad every single time.

what he reads and the way he words things (here and the discussion of him being a monster, for example) is clearly an indication that he doesn’t trust; that he cannot trust, nor does he want to at this point. yohan doesn’t understand the concept of kindness being given freely (ep 7 when he berates elijah for being used by gaon, telling her she falls for kindness every time). and yet, later on in eps, it’s clear when he’s around the right people and the right mindset (uh, gaon?? lol), he’s constantly putting up a front.

after all in ep 7 when he tells gaon that confidence is key, it literally gives him away not just in the courtroom but in his personal life. there’s a reason he looks softer at home than when he’s not there (the hairstyle changes and clothing).

basically what i’m getting at is this behavior can be seen as a defense mechanism because of his abuse.

then it’s another gala event with gaon and yohan this time. another lovely favorite where yohan helps him get dressed and then proceeds to drag him around and safe him from the lion’s den.

tbh i dont even need to include these, but i’m doing it for the indulgence.

yohan does sorta physically throw gaon as well during the rich people party, but that’s mainly to get him to shut up because he’s trying to show gaon the truth at hand and how all of it’s pretty much a farce.

later on in the episode is when we first have gaon truly attacking yohan verbally, and that’s when yohan snaps. it’s clear that isaac is a trigger for yohan, especially from someone who speaks out of line on something they know nothing about. gaon, truth be told, had a stupid moment confronting yohan the way he did. i don’t know who waltzes up to a proposed murderer and just asks them, lmao.

but here’s the thing, thus far, gaon has not entirely posed a threat to yohan. whether that’s from yohan planting gaon and guiding him exactly where he wants him or gaon just not being as thorough as yohan would like, and he’s trying to tap into that talent, is anyone’s guess. but as i said above, the one thing yohan protects is the things he does care about the most, and he tries to talk himself out of his own feelings. he constantly compares himself to an animal (again, dinner scene with gaon and jinjoo) to justify his actions, and to possibly not feel anything; because that’s easier, isn’t it? not feeling. so on top of gaon calling him a monster and a killer, confronted with the possibility about being a villain in his own brother’s story, obviously sets him off. he beats down his emotions until he’s confronted with it - and this is what gaon also meant in ep 6 about how it’s ridiculous that yohan calls himself a monster over a victim because yohan can’t even see himself in that light. not because he truly believes victims are weak necessarily, but i wonder how much he realizes that what happened to him wasn’t his fault.

to me, and as i just said, yohan convinces himself he’s a monster to make it easier for himself to belief his actions (ep 5 telling gaon some humans are born monsters in relation to himself). it’s not that he inherently thinks he’s wrong, but i think his guidance for what’s right and wrong was misconstrued without a parent figure in his life, especially if he’d read crime and law books as the focus. yohan’s actions, at least quite a bit of them are, are based on a gut feeling of right and wrong. when you think about it and your own sense of justice, how would that differ without the checks and balances in place? what punishment do you think fits the crime if we weren’t bound by written law? yohan thinks any action to protect those he loves is, more or less, justifiable because it’s a means to an end. it’s making a worng right again.

i don’t think yohan is a monster. i think his feelings, and what he knows is love, is misconstrued in terms of how to express it. we see this in episode 7 with his and elijah’s conversation where she’s just trying to be a teen, but his version of love is protecting her without, once again, understanding family dynamics and the pain points of growing up, the learning she has to do on her own. yohan might technically be right; similar to being book-smart but not necessarily street smart. his theory of telling Elijah that she’s soft for kindness and being used was true, but his delivery and the idea that that’s how humans develop doesn’t work. he’s telling her text-book rules, but people don’t live through books. they live through real life. yohan reads to get a sense of fulfillment and to learn. he’s learned his way into adulthood, but that’s not normal.

so uh anyway, back to this familiar scene:

because we don’t know the actual story of isaac’s death, it’s hard to say what role yohan played in his death, but i don’t know that i believe he was the one who did it. the entirety of the devil judge is relying on unreliable narration, so it’s difficult to gauge (for now since we’re on ep 7) how this will turn out and what happened, but to me, it really comes across as yohan upset over the insinuation that he could be the one to cause the death of the one person he loved the most. plus, i think it says a lot that he cares/loves elijah, and she was part of isaac. gaon crossed a thine line. yohan essentially welcomed him in, and this is gaon toeing it. we can also look at this is not gaon being an outsider to their family, but now has become part of the family, and so it’s easier for yohan to be ‘abusive,’ if you will, rather than the perspective of gaon still on the sidelines and pushing too far. by this i mean, the accusations made by gaon threatens their formulating family dynamics.

and once again, the only person he ever actually reaches out for is isaac.

and then we have the aftermath of yohan’s nightmare, where he’s still caught in the dream as gaon comes in, and refuses to be touched after, even if gaon’s intention is to see if he’s okay. yohan makes it very clear to gaon not to touch him, and that’s when elijah comes in with a very accusatory ‘what are you two doing?’ in this moment, yohan is not just vulnerable, but he’s emotionally sensitive. i’ve no doubt he’s still dealing with a form of sensory overload from his dream.

and then, i don’t know that this was necessary? was it necessary?

the following set of scenes are the ones where gaon tells him he’s a victim and he hasn’t confronted his own emotions about his abuse. i think yohan realizes gaon is right to some degree, but it is convoluted, and it’s not so simple to face your own traumas. however, he does for a moment after gaon leaves, remember another instance of abuse he couldn’t stop but wishes he could, wishing a parental figure of sorts would’ve come in to save him like his older self is trying to save the kid version if only he could turn back time, if only he had the power to do what he wish someone else had done for him.

and then the kidnapping scene is just. fucked up in and of itself. it actually makes my skin crawl. not because sunah is scary necessarily, but the lack of autonomy yohan has - especially when we find out later more of sunah’s story. to do something like this after what she’s suffered through makes this scene even more disturbing.

you can see the moment yohan hears heels when sunah (not knowing it’s her yet) comes in. literally the minute he knows someone’s headed his way, he checks the fuck out. his whole face goes slack, especially when sunah reveals herself. and when she’s kissing him? blank as fuck, too. it’s the most dead-eyed stare i think we’ve seen from him.

episode six

so, we get this gem from elijah that i’d like to touch on later. it’s more speculation and just me running through ideas more than it is canon fact. but what it does let us know is that yohan doesn’t seek people out. he prefers to be at home and staying there.

after we get the maid story, and we do get yohan touching sunah’s cheek, and in some fucked up twisted way, this is his way of protecting one of the things isaac cherishes the most. the point of the gesture isn’t just intimidation but serves as an act of intent, of protection in the only way yohan knows how. he’s safeguarding isaac. you can tell he doesn’t actually like sunah at all as a kid, but uses that to his advantage. imagine yohan learning violence for ‘good’ things when his father used violence for ‘bad’ things. what a twisted way of looking at it? and the irony at hand.

additionally, the main reason i’ve included so many varying scenes of yohan touching people isn’t to establish that he’s okay with being touched given how many scenes there are of him randomly shaking people’s hand or touching them. it’s all about context and what the intent is for. most often than not, really way more often than not, yohan only reaches out for people when it’s socially acceptable to do so and because it’s manners. and yet, even in some of those cases, there is still intent behind the gesture.

the moments he acts out the most are when he’s not in front of an audience, when he’s more likely to be alone with his thoughts and is exceptionally more vulnerable to his own triggers.

and i think the scene after he’s back at his house from the kidnapping is noteworthy because it doesn’t just feel like he’s shaking off the effects of the drugs he was given. he seems to visibly trying to compose himself of the mental and physical play he just had to deal with.

the next scene is yohan angry with gaon for taking elijah out. which really, he does have every right to be angry, and one thing i didn’t note above during the ‘you killed your brother’ choke out scene before is that when yohan is backed into any kind of corner, he reacts like a caged animal.

because we’ve already established the scenes with his abuse, his father took his anger physically out on yohan. so how else was yohan supposed have developed the tools to express it? it’s easy to hurt the things you love the most; it’s easy to abuse the ones you know, and between gaon and himself, they both have an unhealthy dynamic because gaon is old enough, strong enough to take whatever yohan gives him. gaon is not family and so there’s still that clear divide and a distinction as to why he lays a hand on gaon but not elijah, for example. gaon can still pose a threat. elijah is family. then again, it can also be said that maybe yohan considers gaon family, and gaon betrayed elijah and therefore yohan, and you don’t do that. not with yohan’s understanding of family dynamics.

but with that said, it begs the question why yohan keeps gaon around, and i think some of that has to do with the fact that gaon surprises yohan. he might’ve set his sights on him long before he became an associate judge or maybe he took interest after gaon was chosen for the role (this is still up in the air), but deep down, yohan sees something in gaon despite his snooping, despite his righteousness. it could be the potential; it could be the fact that gaon could be better than yohan if he just allowed himself to loosen the ropes he’s tied himself with when it comes to the court of law and the justice system.

but here’s the thing that idk a lot of people have really picked up on. gaon is one side of the same coin underneath it all. he’s also provoked yohan with physicality when yohan brought up details about soohyun.

to be fair, we can say that yohan evokes a different type of anger in gaon, one that he hasn’t tapped into for years that allows him to open up to that more physical side of himself he learned to put behind him. gaon doesn’t really come across as the physically threatening type, but yohan does push his buttons and vice versa.

but then, of course, we have the big fight scene where gaon goes in on the attack, and that’s when yohan makes his threat not to attack him ever again. it’d be easy to say he says it based on the merit of him not actually attacking soohyun, but seriously speaking, the intent feels much more than that. more along the lines of asking gaon not to provoke him without warning again because next time might be bad. most of their other fights, especially the one above,have been in the midst of conversation. this time, it’s from a place of complete surprise, and you can tell yohan goes on the defensive when his first instinct is to not just throw gaon back but raise his fist to strike.

episode seven

the only physical contact yohan has with anyone is the president, and that’s when he turns on the live video of the two of them, and it’s clearly intended to be a lowkey threat. he keeps pulling the president back into his side to be on the live camera after the dude tried to come after yohan. i do think it’s hilarious that yohan manipulated the situation with a live component just as the president and the rest of the rich people thought they could turn a live court show into manipulating the public.

and then, of course, the jail scene. the part where he makes gaon stay. he also touches gaon’s shoulder later just before they leave.

episode eight

the most prominent scene in this ep is certainly the scene where sunah comes onto yohan, and you can tell she did it to get under his skin in some way. of course, he’s smart and knows she’s up to something, but i think it’s so interesting how he wraps his fists around hers, almost as if to tame her and prevent her from trying to further put her hands on him.

we also know yohan has no issue with using physical force regardless of who it is (obviously, his dialogue in this scene, too) when he feels caged or trapped. his intention is also to retrieve isaac’s necklace, and i like how he uses literally anything to his advantage. meaning, he’ll use physical touch, his mentality, etc to get what he wants or needs, even if it is marginally uncomfortable to some degree.

and i think that also says alot about him is that he’s able to displace what makes him uncomfortable in moments like this to achieve an end goal.

additional thoughts

i know this isn’t really common with a lot of the characters in general, and could be chalked up to a cultural component, but yohan’s definitely not a hugger.

the other thing i wanted to note is yohan’s seemingly adherence to touch unless it’s for good reason in relation to sex. the main reason i bring it up is because i’ve seen it discussed a bit, especially in regard to elijah’s comment about him not staying out overnight since the fire. there are a few plausible scenarios, maybe more, but for the sake of this, we’ll go for these.

yohan has had past relationships/experience or will in future episodes

day flings

he’s never had an interest in anyone before given his upbringing and abuse and therefore never sought out sex

inexperience could be from lack of interest in other people and sex itself

he’s never found anyone to really connect with and trust in such a way and has avoided it for that reason

and i bring this up mainly because i think it could be something to explore in fanon, but also because i’m kind of annoyed with how people have been talking about yohan being a virgin. i’m not quite sure what the joke is, but lack of sexual experience does not mean naive or that he doesn’t have a sense of humor when that’s clearly far from the truth:

i don’t know that people find it unbelievable because of his age, because of characterization of yohan being more dominant, but none of these things negate this being an option. i think it’s perfectly plausible of a situation (from what we know right now), and truthfully, it would make a whole lot of sense. i just don’t get the jokes about it that i’ve been seeing online (twitter) when there isn’t a mutual exclusiveness to any of it whatsoever.

yohan already has a hard time connecting with people, and i can imagine that level of physicality could be difficult. clearly he knows how to use a version of it to get what he wants. i’ve no doubt he’s used his charms in situations where he’s needed to. yohan knows he has that going for him, at the very least. but sexual appeal and jokes doesn’t mean having a body count any more than it could indicate there being one.

lastly, i also want to pull these paragraphs from @b612sunsets​‘s post because i think they do a much better job than i ever could of explaining, short and sweet, a fundamental part of yohan’s characterization, and mainly what i was trying to get at with this long ass post.

“There's two things we already know about Yohan from the last 6 episodes: he hates being touched when he doesn't see it coming and doesn't have control over it because of the abuse he suffered (I assume). To name a few: Soohyun grabbing his elbow to stop him from leaving and get answers about Gaon, the beggar that touched him while he searched for the fireman, Gaon after punching him and Yohan clearly telling him to NEVER do it again. The impression it gave to us is that if there's a next time he might not be able to stop his instinctive reaction of defending himself and using violence back (something worse than choking or pushing Gaon and he doesn't want to do that with him).

“Unless it's a friendly/small/slow touch like in the breakfast scene when Gaon touches his arm when he gets up to offer them some fruits. When he had the nightmare with Isaac, his walls were up high so even if he could see Gaon's touch coming and it was friendly, he decided to stop it because he was too defensive and sensible to accept the gesture (it would be the first time Gaon started physical contact with him too, he wouldn't be ready for that in such a state).

“The second thing is that Yohan hates when people take what is his or mess with what is important to him. Again, to name a few: Sunah with the necklace when she was a maid, the fireman with Isaac's watch (Yohan made them fall from high places, not caring if they died or not), the guy that fabricated the small bombs that hurt Gaon (Yohan would have burnt his face if "K" hadn't stopped him) and Gaon taking Elijah out of the house to Soohyun without previous notice (a cop and someone he doesn't trust).”

yohan has a very, very large sense of self-preservation for himself and for those he cares about. it’s in his intention, actions, facial expressions, movements, the way he interacts with people. i find it fascinating how calculating he can be, but at home, he’s at his most vulnerable and almost socially unaware and awkward.

yohan is a bit of an irony. he understands people from an action-oriented, instinctual level, but he doesn’t necessarily understand their thoughts and emotions in the waves of nuances that people live through on the daily. like, he gets it to an extent and on a practical level, but he himself is a square trying to fit into a circle - he doesn’t always understand it for himself and has to actively work on social cues so as not to come across as the devil child he was once painted to be.

and let it not be unsaid, yohan really will go to the ends of the earth for family, even if it means stepping out of his comfort zone.

and so anyway, i doubt this offered any real insight, but i think this is my way of breaking all of this down for myself. so, tada!!! lmao

#x #the devil judge #the devil judge meta #* #*the devil judge

[haruharu-egypt]

Letting You in

Playboy Au

Jungkook x reader

Warning: Angst, Heartbreak, Cursing, crying

~~~~~~`~~~~~~~`~~~~~`~~~~

" so that's it huh?" You asked in disbelief watching as he turned his back to you. Instead of replying, he began to pack his bag to leave " No this is when I lost feelings or I'm sorry I'm leaving no explanation... Nothing?" You bit your lip as you tried to hold the confidence you were known for.

He sighed and turned shrugging his shoulders giving you a cold stare " I don't understand what you want me to do" he said as he began to walk away pitifully. Normally you'd let them go without a fight, you'd never get too attached. So why was it different now?

Staring at him, shock displaying itself on your features as you followed him grabbing him by his arm " you're not even gonna fight or-or consider how I feel?" You scrunched your eyebrows tilting your head, he snatched his arm away from you and turned to you causing you to stumble forward a bit " WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM ME?" Something inside of him snapped " you knew from the beginning how shit would end I mean-" he chuckled " I thought you were different, wouldn't push me or try to change me" Jungkook shook his head at you.

You scoffed as tears began to build up " you're right" voice cracking as the pain set in " you're right I don't even know what's wrong with me" you gave up, something you got used to after a while.. abandonment, so why was it different now.

He softened at the sound of your voice and the shake in your shoulders as you turned " Y/n" he started yet, you kept walking " No cause I knew- I always knew yet I shoved it so fucking far down in my head I was hoping to forget" you turned pointing an accusing finger at him " I KNEW I shouldn't have gotten attached and yet here I am like - you scoffed- what the fuck" you started as a tear slipped. Betrayal, was it from him? Or your emotions? Your heart.

Just as fast as it fell you wiped it away " pathetic" you went to bump past him to reach the stairs before he grabbed you " it's okay to cry or hurt but-" you cut him off " no you don't get to tell me wether I can cry or not YOU don't get to tell me I'm an idiot or whatever because I fell for you, that it's okay to hurt from heartbreak" you tried to hold it together but the tears wouldn't stop.

" I should've listened to myself and my mother before I dated you, I wouldn't- I didn't believe in love until you.. I wouldn't if it weren't for you" you jabbed him in the chest as he stared at you, dead. The gaze in his eyes were dead like he'd done this a million times " and ya'know this is why, the world's fucked up and I went my entire life without getting attached or allowing myself to fall too deep so why-" you hiccuped " why'd it have to be you" running up the stairs after snatching your arm out his hold.

A part of him broke as he watched the person he began to feel love for leave, he never meant to hurt her, hoping it'd be the best of he left before she became too attached. Mission failed I guess.

~flashback~

" I mean we could work" Jungkook smiled as he walked along side you " yeah whatever you say" you laughed in return.

He stopped in front of you " no seriously~ we've never been in a relationship long enough for us to fall in love hell we don't believe in that we could be together and won't have to worry about shattering one anothers a heart or deal with the jealousy and stuff" he tried to reason. Stopping yourself so you don't run into him, you shrugged " yeah but you're the School player and one thing I am very fond of is loyalty" you walked around him making him scoff " I've never cheated only reason I got my label is cause I don't fall in love" you shrugged again continuing home.

~timeskip~

"hey" you said opening your door to step out " ready for our date babygirl?" He asked making you giggle " of course my love" joining him on the way to the car.

After getting in and hitting the road Jungkook turned the radio on " oh I love this song" you laughed before starting to sing your heart out .

" tell me what's your favorite game i~" he smiled as he stole a few glanced at you

"girl you know you wanna play with it spend a couple days in it" you turned to him seductively winking before kissing his cheek.

You were different a good kind of different as much as he'd hate to lose you he felt he didn't have to.

~two years in~

Jungkook stared at you as you ran to the other side of the field in your summer dress loving how the sun shun against your silky s/c skin, how the dress exposed parts of your thick thighs. He adored the way your cheeks became full when you smiled and your cheekbones became prominent but he knew he couldn't love you as much as he loved being with you.

Even with the sun up, you were his only light. Picking up the frisbee you scoffed " unfair you throw too high" you whined before tossing it back. The disk toy flying smoothly throughout the air before he caught it

~flashback end~

You marched back down the stairs with a bag causing his expression to tense " what are you doing " you walked past him putting his shoes on " Your names on the house, you shouldn't have to leave " you muttered as the tears had come to a stop. He pulled you away from the door " no you-" he shook his head " you don't have to leave I broke your heart I did the damage I don't belong here" he went to leave yet your hand on the door only caused him more dismay.

He didn't want to cry, he turned his head as he removed your hand " stop" you whispered as the tears pricked your eyes again " please? I just wanna go" you tried not to break as your lips quivered, throat becoming tight " no" he said pulling you in.

" you can't, it feels so wrong" he cried making you look to the side as you but your lip " I don't know what you want from me honestly, I messed up and got into a relationship I didn't have any control over and-and" you began to cry

" and I hate how much I was right and how much my mom was right, how wrong I am, I fucked up I did this so wrong I-" you couldn't breathe. He shook his head as he hugged you " no-" once again cutting him off

" I shouldn't have let us last this long I knew better than that and you knew that yet I fell in love and as much as I tried to stop myself I ruined us" you felt weak as your knees gave in. He held you up refusing to let go " I did too" he muttered making you whine.

"then why are you leaving me, why are you hurting me, us!" You yelled as you couldn't contain your cries any longer. Swinging, pushing and punching him just wanting to get away " because I'm toxic I'm not good for you or us" he muttered " I'm leaving because of you I can't do this" he said finally letting you go.

You ran, not looking back you just ran hoping you wouldn't have the guts to look back, snatching the door open to leave. You couldn't stop remembering all the gold times, your first kiss. Your first everything was with him but it was all so wrong.

~flashback~

" sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time and all you can do is let go and hope that you come together in the future" your mother smiled as she brushed your hair " you just have to grow and wait and even if you don't end up with them you'll always belong to them just the hearts in a different body. You'll always love them but you'll move on and find happiness" she said as she continued stroking the same spot. " Have you ever met them?" You asked and she smiled " yeah and we were very young I allowed my relationship with my father and his relationship with my mother mold my relationships and instead of growing and coming back to him, me and your father got together" she spoke sadly. You nodded " I know you don't believe in love or want to because of us but I don't want that to defeat you, you'll find someone whether it's the right person at the wrong time or you find your happiness in a person who changes your life forever. Sometimes it's someone you know you can never be with no matter how right it feels they aren't meant to be" she kissed your head " but remember never stop running especially if it's hurting you, never stop running until you reach what you truly believe in" she put the brush down and walked out of your room.

~flashback end~

You screamed out as you ran not even knowing where you were headed. This was it maybe she was right he was right for you but not right now maybe later in life or maybe he felt right but it was wrong. Just a fairytale created by the two of you in your minds.

You didn't want to turn around in fear you'd go back, you didn't want to turn around in fear of knowing you'd go back. You don't want to stop running.

#kpop breakup angst #kpop #fanfiction #bts angst #bts #bts icons #bts jeon jungkook #bts jeon jungguk #bts jungguk #bts jungkook #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop angst #kpop bts #kpopbreakup #Spotify

[blufox234isadumbname]

storyboards ig of the dream smp but as a stageplay because I had Bang! by AJR in my head

vvv explanation of why i think the song is fitting below vvv

From a set design stand point, this stageplay performance would have a stage, with a main podium in the centre back. The podium is about a metre and a half high, with stairs facing the audience. Possibly, there can be a small entrance in the stairs for actors to enter in/out of. Atop, there's a stand where the button will be, which has significance during the first and final chorus. Aditionally, screens on either side of the podium (with steps behind them for hidden access to the podium) can be used for displays, such as the L'Manburg flag throughout the performance This is just what I had in mind,, I imagined this as a stageplay because MMMMM THEATRE :))))

as for the song: I imagine that this song has mostly Dream as the speaker, refering to the events of the Dream SMP. Dream is a puppet master, he controls and enables the conflicts to gain benefit. He's making a fun and catchy tune about reaping the harvest from war as the cost of it means nothing to him. Here's how I imagined it;

I get up, I get down and I'm jumpin' around And the rumpus and ruckus are comfortable now Been a hell of a ride but I'm thinkin' it's time To grow (bang! bang! bang!)

> the opening lines are for the start of the dream smp, where Dream is settling down with friends, it's all peaceful and lovely until Dream hands off the attention to Tommy. Through that, he sparks the brief wars over the discs. That in advertedly causes the next war to erupt

So I got an apartment across from the park Put quinoa in my fridge, still I'm not feelin' grown Been a hell of a ride but I'm thinkin' it's time To go (bang! bang! bang!) (here we go)

> Tommy finds L'Manburg with Wilbur, dancing around, and creates new beginnings with other members. At this point, Tommy only started his development as a character, he's not exactly "grown" yet even after taking responsibility of L'manburg. hence the line. Even so, they all salute together as a nation.

So put your best face on, everybody Pretend you know this song, everybody Come hang Let's go out with a bang (bang! bang! bang!)

> Eret reveals himself as the traitor and presses the button atop the podium , where Dream's allies come to attack the L'maburgians. The line "put your best face on" is refering to the betrayal, Eret lying to all of them to join Dream's side. I imagine that this is also in reference to Dream's mask, a symbol for siding with Dream. All those who "put (their) best face on" would don the same mask as him, or rather become another pawn to Dream. A symbol to show their loyalty to him. And the line"pretend you know this song" is about pretending to hold the same ideals as the hero's side until reveal. In this case, Eret pretended to follow with their song of freedom to join the side that they were trying to emancipate from

I'm way too young to lie here forever I'm way too old to try so whatever Come hang Let's go out with a bang (bang! bang! bang!)

> Dream only initiates most conflict because he can, he's a reverent of chaos. He sees the war as fun for him. He's gotten tired of the stillness so he just joins in the war for fun and for his benefit. And the "bang" directy refers to the exploding of L'Manburg near the end of the war. He dances with Eret, with him  leading. He's the one using Eret to get what he wants in the war, using him the puppet he sees him as.

Feel like I'm gonna puke 'cause my taxes are due Do my password begin with a one or a two? Been a hell of a ride but I'm thinkin' it's time To grow (bang! bang! bang!) (metronome)

> This is where the Schlatt Administration begins, with everyone rattled about while Schlatt, Quackity and George stand on the podium. (not for long, George just looks around then dips) The taxes refer to Niki having her's raised, while the password refers to Fundy's secret base, where he hid his Spy Diary. The third line refers to Tommy, starting his growth of character and rallys to take back L'Manburg

Man, I'm up to something, ooh-dee-la-dee-doe Thank you all for comin', I hope you like the show 'Cause it's on a budget, so ooh-dee-la-dee-doe Yeah, come on here we go, yeah, come on (here we go)

> The Manburg Festival is here, with the first line about Wilbur turning insane. In time with the metronome ticking, symbolising the ticking time bomb that is both the festival and Wilbur, the festival goers just have their heads go side to side. The second is about Tubbo's speech, thanking the citizens for attending. The third about Schlatt revealing his intentions of executing Tubbo, him and Quackity holding Tubbo down on the stand

So put your best face on, everybody Pretend you know this song, everybody Come hang Let's go out with a bang (bang! bang! bang!)

> Now, WIlbur's best face is one of insanity, revealing hsi intentions of chaos instead. The song of freedom he knew became warped and twisted, to the point of being unrecognisable at least in his mind. The "bang" here is caused by Techno, appearing behind Wilbur, firing the rockets to the podium in time with the beat.

I'm way too young to lie here forever I'm way too old to try so whatever Come hang Let's go out with a bang (bang! bang! bang!) (Bang! bang! bang!)

> Like Dream, Techno wants to cause anarchy for his own benefit and also because he can. At this point, both WIlbur and techno hold the same ideals and agree; that to end it all, Manburg has to "go out with a bang" Tommy tries to object but he gets punted away

Been a hell of a ride but I'm thinkin' it's time To go

> Tommy's has had enough, everyone is rallied together as Pogtopia and fights

So put your best face on, everybody Pretend you know this song, everybody Come hang Let's go out with a bang (bang! bang! bang!) (here we go)

> Finally, we see Dream's own act of deception. He isn't the one to betray Pogtopia, however he baits them into thinking they are safe as he surrenders. He does in fact know the song, but couldn't care less. And as the final "bang" goes off, Wilbur emerges onto the podium and presses the button on the stand, just like Eret (reference to when it was never meant to be)

So put your best face on, everybody Pretend you know this song, everybody Come hang Let's go out with a bang (bang! bang! bang!)

> The withers are released by Techno, putting back on his face of anarchy and fighting the government system. The song he knows is not one he particularly likes, so he challenges it and threatens to abolish it. Meanwhile, Wilbur finally reaches the peak of his insanity, seeing the song no longer real. He finally goes out with a bang upon the button press, and dances around in the ashes while everyone else runs around in fear

I'm way too young to lie here forever I'm way too old to try so whatever Come hang Let's go out with a bang (bang! bang! bang!) (here we go) (Bang! bang!)

> Finally, the villians come together and dance around, with Dream taking the lead like with Eret. He is, after all, the true villian of the  SMP. Techno faces away to the podium, to tear  down the symbol of power. Wilbur collapses, dying to the hands of Phil and crying because of his actions. And Dream bows, happy with the result of such a chaotic performance and hopes the audience thinks the same.

#wilbur soot #technoblade #tommy innit #dreamwastaken #dream smp #dream team smp #story board #stageplay #performance #mcyt #shitty sketch #my art #blusart #eew eww #he lp

[noelleification]

I wrote an essay about she-ra supremacy and i want to share it with you

For context, my English teacher and I have been in an elaborate pissing contest for the past year. He said fan fiction was bad, so I wrote a sonnet about Banana Fish. He said you couldn't write about death using bright language and colorful metaphors, so I wrote a flash fiction piece about it.

One thing that he's done this year that we disagreed on was making us read The Plague by Albert Camus during a global pandemic. So, my most recent attempt at fucking with my teacher was writing an essay about why She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) is better than The Plague.

So, here is my essay. :)

"Recently I was asked, “What is the job of a novelist, and did Albert Camus accomplish this when he wrote The Plague?” While most of my classmates answered yes, I was less taken with the novel than they seemed to be.

The question “What is the job of a novelist?” is difficult to answer. Quite simply, art means different things to different people, and giving a yes or no answer to such a complex question seems impossible. Still, while The Plague definitely has something interesting to say, its message isn’t profound when compared to other, “lower” forms of art. It’s easy to assume value in The Plague because of it’s status, but after reading the novel, I was somewhat unimpressed with the one-note characterizations that served to deliver an ultimately average message.

In contrast, I have repeatedly been overwhelmingly impressed with She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, a 2018 remake of a He-Man spinoff cartoon from the 80s. The new She-Ra broke boundaries in terms of representation, and the show’s resolution was made meaningful by the well-developed characters and important themes. Due to its complex characters, important messages, and groundbreaking representation, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) is a more important and influential piece of art than The Plague by Albert Camus.

The complex characters in She-Ra are much more rich and well-developed,than those in The Plague. Characters in The Plague are flat and one-dimensional—instead of real, relatable human beings, these characters come across as ideas. They represent something, but they’re not flawed, multi-faceted characters in their own right. On the other hand, She-Ra’s characters—from its heroes to its villains to its side characters—are infinitely complex and well-developed.

The most prominent example of this is Catra. Catra, the deuteragonist of the series, is the childhood best friend of the protagonist, Adora. In order to understand the complex role that Catra fulfills in She-Ra, it is important to understand the background of the show.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power takes place in the fantasy world of Etheria, in which women with magical powers, called ‘princesses’, rule and protect the land. The central conflict takes place between the Rebellion and the Evil Horde. The Horde, ruled by Hordak, is an army dedicated to wiping out the princesses and taking control of Etheria.

Catra and Adora are two child soldiers raised by the Horde. They grew up together and are best friends. However, when Adora finds a magical sword inside the forest and discovers that she is the legendary warrior She-Ra, she defects from the Horde and joins the Rebellion. Alongside two new friends, Bow and Princess Glimmer, Adora fights to defend Etheria from the Horde.

Catra, however, feels betrayed when Adora joins the Rebellion. While Adora’s arc is quickly established as a redemption arc, Catra spirals into a corruption arc for many seasons. Because of her pain and betrayal, she becomes the right-hand woman of Hordak. She lashes out at those closest to her, makes it her life’s mission to stop Adora, and hurts dozens of people on her way to the top.

Still, Catra is not a one-note villain. Her pain and betrayal is explored deeply throughout the series. Even at her worst moments, Catra is sympathetic. Flashbacks of her childhood show her deep emotional bond with Adora and the physical and emotional abuse she suffered at the hands of the Horde. She is shown breaking down multiple times throughout the series, and her relationships with characters like Scorpia show her humanity, even when she is hell-bent on destroying the Rebellion. Despite Catra’s actions, she is a deeply sympathetic character.

Catra is a complex villain, but she is an even more complex protagonist. In season five of the series, after a series of events lead her to reflect on her actions, Catra betrays the Horde to save Adora. This is not an easy decision for her to make. Catra is emotionally tormented—betrayed by those closest to her and held captive by the same force she once swore to serve, Catra saves Glimmer’s life in a last-ditch attempt to do “one good thing” in her life. Catra believes she will be killed for her actions, and in what she thinks are her last moments, she cries, “Adora, I’m sorry. For everything.”

Of course, Adora is not content to let Catra die. She saves her childhood friend, but when Catra is rescued by the Rebellion, she does not immediately change sides. Catra is shown to be bitter and cruel to Adora, Bow, and Glimmer as she struggles with her own internal conflict. Catra continues to lash out at those who are trying to help her, and it is only when Catra begins to face the consequences of her actions by apologizing to a friend she betrayed that she is able to start on the road to redemption. Her redemption is complex, and it is an arc that continues for most of season five. Catra does not flip a switch that takes her from “evil” to “good”—it is a grueling process that is only made possible by the forgiveness of those around her.

Catra is not the only character with a complex arc. Despite being the protagonist, Adora is a deeply flawed character who has to learn and grow over the course of the series. Season four sees Glimmer betraying her friends and falling deeper into a spiral of fear and hatred after the death of her mother. Even Shadow Weaver, Catra and Adora’s abusive parent figure, is not easily classified as “good” or “evil.” Shadow Weaver is a morally grey enigma who serves whatever side she believes will win and, in the end, makes the ultimate sacrifice by dying to save Catra.

It is worth noting that this is not a full redemption of Shadow Weaver’s character. Unlike Catra, Shadow Weaver has a ‘death redemption’—instead of truly facing the consequences of her actions, she sacrifices her life, which almost seems like taking the easy way out. This form of redemption arc is less satisfying to viewers, especially because many believe Shadow Weaver died for Adora’s sake, not Catra’s. Noelle Stevenson, the show’s creator, has confirmed that Shadow Weaver is not meant to be a fully redeemed character. However, this incomplete redemption once again displays the complexity of She-Ra’s characters. They are not good or evil—instead, they are every shade in between. Contrast this with the static, one-dimensional characters of The Plague, and it is clear that She-Ra’s characters are far more well-developed.

In evaluating the value in a piece of art, it is important to look at the message and theme. The Plague does, in fact, have multiple important themes that it discusses. It centers around love, mortality, religion, humanity, and ethics, all of which are important philosophical topics that force the reader to think. I will not make the claim that these issues are not important, because they absolutely are.

However, it would be irresponsible to dismiss the important messages that She-Ra contains just because it is a show made for children. She-Ra explores a number of complex and thought-provoking themes, such as love, loyalty, justice, grief, forgiveness, and redemption. It does this through its rich characterizations and complex relationships. Despite She-Ra’s PG rating, it nevertheless discusses colonialism, unhealthy and abusive relationships, environmentalism, psychological trauma, and self-worth.

Once again, a fascinating example of these themes comes from Catra and Adora. Catra and Adora were emotionally and physically abused by their parent figure, Shadow Weaver, from a young age. Catra in particular was told she is worthless, and this goes on to drive every one of Catra’s actions for the first four seasons of the show. She-Ra does not shy away from the aftermath of Catra’s abuse. It shows in detail the resentment she holds for those around her, including Adora, for their perceived wrongdoings. Her breakdowns are vivid and heartbreaking.

Despite all of her trauma, Catra craves Shadow Weaver’s love deeply. Some of her most horrific actions in the show are driven by her feelings of heartbreak and betrayal inspired by Shadow Weaver.

However, the abuse that Adora suffers is just as insidious, if less obvious. Adora was raised to believe that she had to be perfect and that the well-being of those she cares about is solely on her shoulders. This message deeply affects Adora’s character throughout the series and plays into some of her most profound flaws. Adora is prone to wanting to face everything alone. She doesn’t want to burden her friends, so she hurts and burdens herself. She blames herself when her friends get hurt, and she ultimately ends up seeing her life as worthless. Adora’s struggles with her self-image are directly tied to the abuse she suffered at Shadow Weaver’s hands. In the final episodes of the show, Adora is willing to sacrifice herself for the good of others.

Shadow Weaver’s influence is to directly to blame. She is present as part of the Rebellion during the fifth and final season, and she is the character who plants the idea in Adora’s head of sacrificing herself for the world. Even when Catra stands up to her on Adora’s behalf, Adora is unable to see her own worth. This results in a number of heartbreaking scenes where Catra pleads with Adora to think about what she wants, not what is expected of her. In the penultimate episode, a character finally tells Adora that “[she] is worth more than what [she] can give other people. [She deserves] love, too.”

Dismissing the messages of She-Ra as being “lesser” or “childish” is, in many ways, a straight, white, male perspective. Privileged groups are able to easily grasp their own worth, as they are never taught that they are worthless. It might seem more valuable to talk about more philosophical concepts if messages like those in She-Ra are seen as a given. But for many, self-worth is not an expectation. LGBT people are considered lucky to be accepted by their families, and they still face homophobia or transphobia on an almost daily basis. Their identity is seen as something to be ashamed of. It takes years of un-learning these patterns that a cisgender, heterosexual individual might never have learned in the first place. The same goes for other marginalized groups as well—women are often seen as less intelligent, and this idea is enforced through constant dismissal and belittlement of their thoughts and ideas. Individuals of color face daily prejudice and have been excluded from these conversations for centuries. Therefore, it is equally important for art like She-Ra to reinforce these messages that marginalized communities might never have been taught.

The messages in She-Ra might not be as philosophical as those in The Plague, but they are doubtlessly more emotional. Driven by the lovable characters and relatable issues, She-Ra made audiences feel in ways that I doubt The Plague ever has.

While The Plague is important from an ethical and philosophical standpoint, She-Ra is important from a much more human one. LGBT people are much more likely to be abused, mentally ill, and impoverished. These are some of the same issues faced by the characters in She-Ra. Given that the audience of She-Ra is largely LGBT, seeing these messages reaffirmed on-screen is deeply moving. A high-brow message is important, but if one doesn’t have the basics of self-respect and self-love, these conversations cannot be had.

It is possible that some might dismiss She-Ra and it’s messages compared to The Plague because it is a modern-day animated show instead of a classic novel. Here, we get into another interesting conversation: high art vs low art.

High art is renowned. It is old and has stood the test of time. People see it as beautiful, historical, and fundamentally important, despite the fact that they don’t rock the boat. Van Gogh paintings and Roman statues are examples of high art: priceless pieces with recognized worth. The Plague is another example of high art.

Low art, on the other hand, is art ‘of the people.’ Anybody can make low art. Current music, literature, art, and television is seen as less worthy or important than older pieces with more widely recognized importance. Some “instant classics” can almost immediately be placed into the realm of high art, but for the most part, newer things are always seen as less important than older ones. Low art is comic books, Taylor Swift, graffiti, and yes, She-Ra. They might be just as artistic and valuable as older pieces of art, but they will not be valued the same.

Here’s the thing, though: high art almost always starts out as low art. Modern day romance novels are seen as trashy even though Jane Austen’s novels are renowned. The Beatles are now seen as one of the best bands of all time, but during their peak, they were dismissed due to their primarily female fan base. Most famous painters didn’t become popular until after their deaths, because before then, their pieces were “low art.” Dismissing She-Ra because it’s low art is biased and, ultimately, ignorant.

Moreover, low art is more likely to be queer, female, poor, and PoC. Anybody can make low art, but art by privileged creators is more likely to be seen as ‘valuable’ in the long run. While underprivileged creators can and have gained notoriety and acclaim for their art, there are more road blocks in their path that keep them from ever being on equal footing with other artists. Dismissing all low art as less valuable is dismissing the perspective of those from marginalized communities.

I will not make the claim that She-Ra is a better piece of art than The Plague. The Plague is a piece of literature that has withstood the test of time and remains relevant to this day. Given that She-Ra is still fairly recent, it’s impossible to tell what it’s legacy will be, and in the end, it is a cartoon aimed at a less mature audience. Even more than that, though, art is subjective. What speaks to one person might not connect with another, and calling one piece of art “better” than another is impossible.

However, I do believe that She-Ra is more important than The Plague. The distinction here is that She-Ra did something that has never been done before. The message of The Plague speaks deeply to people, but it is not breaking any glass ceilings.

She-Ra, on the other hand, is revolutionary. The representation is She-Ra is truly remarkable. Not only is the cast mostly comprised of female characters—which, in a world of male-dominated entertainment, is a rarity—She-Ra also embraces diversity of all types. The majority of the main cast with the exception of Adora is nonwhite, and characters of all different body types are featured. While women are typically forced into a cookie-cutter mold of beauty, She-Ra characters are treated as beautiful no matter what their size or ethnicity. This is a message that young people, especially young girls, need to see.

She-Ra also pushes back against toxic masculinity. Many of the main male characters in the show reject gender roles—for example, Bow is almost always seen wearing a crop top with a heart on it, and Sea Hawk has an undeniably flamboyant presentation. King Micah cross-dresses in the final season. Despite this, the male characters are never made fun of for their feminine traits, and instead, their presentation is embraced. They are also not stereotyped as gay for refusing to fit into traditionally masculine roles. All three characters listed above have female love interests.

The most groundbreaking part of She-Ra, however, is the LGBT representation. She-Ra features multiple loving LGBT characters and couples, and the main characters of the series were confirmed to be in a loving sapphic relationship. They said “I love you” and shared an on-screen kiss. She-Ra even features an important non-binary character who uses they/them pronouns, and their identity is always treated with respect.

Furthermore, the entire story centers around the relationship between Catra and Adora. Their romance is not a throwaway side story; instead, their love is the driving force of the entire narrative. Finding LGBT representation is hard, and finding sapphic representation is harder—but what truly sets She-Ra apart is that this was in a children’s TV show. In a world where many believe that LGBT relationships are not “appropriate” for children, She-Ra made history by teaching kids that it’s okay to love who you love and be who you are. She-Ra made people feel something. Audiences were crying during the series finale, and the show has amassed a cult following of LGBT viewers well into adulthood who have never seen their identity represented in such a meaningful way before.

The Plague is undoubtedly a valued piece of high art, but its messages nevertheless do little to progress society. For this reason, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is a more important and influential piece of art than the Plague."

#she ra #catradora #spop #she ra and the princesses of power

[c-sand]

Not to be dramatic, but Sansa is full of forgiveness and mercy and kindness in a world where she’s been given every possible reason about why she shouldn’t be -- and she really didn’t need a moment from Jon disrespecting her (and only her -- everyone else is allowed to speak) during a meeting to, like, ‘teach her a lesson’ about leniency and save her from the ‘evil heartless creature’ she’d become after all of her time with the Lannisters and Petyrfinger. 

It’s true that they need every man possible in the upcoming war -- a war that Sansa doesn’t disbelieve at any second, she’s fully on board with what Jon has said is coming and she does every possible thing she’s capable of to help prepare for it. But, it’s also true that these Houses literally just slaughtered their family and fought a war against them, in an attempt to annihilate them from the planet. And it’s a valid thought process, that literally every Northerner in the room also agreed with -- not just her (despite the fact that she’s the only one spoken down to about it), that it’s not something that should just be swept under the rug.

You can’t expect someone to just be on board with you and immediately back you up on everything, if you don’t speak to them about it beforehand. Sansa spends almost all of her time, upon reuniting with Jon and being with him from that moment on, being on his side. Believing him about what he says is coming and knowing they have long fights ahead of them. She appears to not even question his return back to the living?? Despite the fact that she’s the one Stark not spending her entire story dealing with magical mysteries, she’s just like “Yeah, Jon was abracadabra’d back into existence.”

He says the dead are coming, she just believes him. 

The only times that she’s not immediately behind his back are on situations she has the better understanding of (something that is allowed to be true, despite the fact that so many believe Sansa isn’t allowed to have any awareness of anything -- she’s not allowed to be smart). 

She knows that Ramsay Bolton is a monster that cannot be allowed to continue holding the North. She knows him better than Jon. She knows what he can do better than Jon. She knows what he won’t do better than Jon -- and that more than likely includes preparing for an onslaught of dead coming to attack them all. And if Jon wants to eff off to someplace warm, well fine, she will rally the troops to do what needs to be done, on her own. 

She knows that that there are other Northern Houses wronged by Ramsay who have a better chance of joining the fight, that Jon then refuses to call upon, despite her begging him to -- must. fight. war. now. (And don’t even get me started on those Houses being reprimanded harder than the Houses that fought against them, by Lyanna, even though THEY WERE NEVER ASKED TO HELP BECAUSE JON JUST DECIDED NOT TO GO TO THEM OKAY DON’T GET ME STARTED). She knows that if Jon refuses to turn every rock, because he basically hasn’t decided he wants to live at this point, she has to take matters into her own hands and contact her abuser to seek the help they’ll need. She knows that Ramsay will play with Jon on the field of battle. Sansa also knows her areas that lack expertise and openly admits her faults in lack of battle awareness and how to explain what he’ll do there. But, she knows better than Jon about the games Ramsay likes to play and she tries her best to express it.

She knows that the Umbers and the Karstarks helped destroy them and their family.

Sansa is full of forgiveness and mercy and kindness. She spends the entire story feeling all of these things here and there for people who do not deserve it. We know that her fundamental nature is gentle. That she believes, despite Cersei’s teachings, that she would rather lead by love than by fear. That she’d rather the people feel cared for by her than cower in her presence. But, leading by love over fear doesn’t necessarily mean that every single betrayal that passes shall...pass. That those who commit great crimes always get off with a smile and a cheer and those who are loyal get no reward in return for their fight.

There are obvious benefits to going, “Ahh let’s move on, it was a bad moment, but it’s over,” to the Umbers and Karstarks. But, there’s also a risk of turning every other Northerner against them, by saying that those betrayals will have no consequences and that the loyalty they had holds no more weight than someone literally handing over a Stark for execution does.

But, that’s all beside the point. 

The point is Sansa has Jon’s back on everything that he’s displayed superior knowledge to, as evidenced in that season. She spends every single day that Jon is away and avoiding Danaerys’ doe eyes like the plague, backing his decisions regarding the army of the dead (despite coming from another moment of blatant disrespect where he didn’t tell her of his decision to leave, before dragging her into the hall and blasting her with the info at the same time as everyone else, as if she’s on the same level as the rest of the Lords, instead of his literal only family and Lady of Winterfell). She’s constantly working the castle and with the inhabitants of it and the rest of the North in preparation for the upcoming war. She’s getting the castle battle ready. She’s preparing food storage. She’s having armor and weapons made. She’s quality controlling everything, so that everyone will have the best possible equipment and conditions in the fight. She’s turning down power left and right, when people try to take it away from Jon and give it to her, and reinforcing her belief in Jon’s place in the North and knowledge of what’s to come and decisions he’s making in regards to what needs to be done. 

[She’s giving away what little power she does have, when Bran turns back up in Winterfell. And she’s very clearly not even a little bit bothered by the fact that she’s doing so. He ends up turning it down, but Bran is Lord of Winterfell, she’s got no problem with it, because she’s not power hungry.]

Sansa has Jon’s back. But, Jon, in return of Sansa’s loyalty and love, expects her to always have his back, without offering the same in return. Even on things that he’s shown less prowess in. Which is especially hurtful, because they had a whole heartwarming moment under soft snowfall about how they have to have full trust in one another, before these meetings happened. Something Sansa exhibits towards him, even in times when she shouldn’t, as he’s messing with their lives and the lives of their people, APPARENTLY (lol lies) for the love (lolol) of some woman he just met who burns people alive. And something Jon shows towards her, about twice, when they get a deceptive letter from Tyrion and he cares about her opinion for a moment and when he places the North in her care (after he just bulldozed her with the information that he’s leaving).

Sansa is allowed to have an opinion about what happens with the Umbers and the Karstarks. She’s allowed to voice it. (I mean, Rickon is literally dead because of Smalljon Umber. Rickon would still be alive if not for him and his people). No one else in the room was undermining Jon by speaking up on the matter, and so she cannot be the only one there who was, just because she’s closer to him than they are. She’s not less merciful or less kindhearted for finding this particular betrayal too much for nothing more than a slap on the wrist. Jon choosing to just have them simply reaffirm their loyalty to House Stark wasn’t some big lesson in kindness for Sansa. Sansa is already inherently kind. There is a difference between learning lessons from the powerful and evil-hearted people around her and being evil-hearted, herself.

And if Jon wanted to go into that meeting with her completely on his side, like she is about everything else regarding the dead and so forth (which he very clearly must’ve 🎵SPOKEN TO HER ABOUT🎵), than he should’ve spoken to her beforehand. Should’ve gone into that meeting with a conversation already had between the two of them, in private, regarding what he plans on doing in regards to the families that helped put the majority of theirs’ in the ground. Sansa has no way of telepathically knowing that Jon plans on going, “Listen, some Umbers are dead, some Karstarks are dead, the price has been paid.” She’s not a mind reader. Just as he should’ve spoken to her, beforehand, about his decision to head for Dragonstone. 

Jon cannot constantly expect Sansa to just feel all of the same things he feels and embrace every decision he has, without coming to her and speaking about those feelings and thoughts. There is a very big jump between believing Winterfell belongs to Sansa and believing you don’t even need to privately mention to her, before a public meeting with the rest of the fickle Lords, that you plan on throwing yourself to a dragon and hoping for the best or that you plan on pardoning the very people who helped dismantle the North and the Starks -- who supported the Bolton’s rule.

Sansa is kind and is full of mercy and sympathy and empathy and love. It would not of taken much effort, at all, from Jon to of had her backing his thought process on either matter, even if she doesn’t agree with it. All he had to do was speak to her. To not lump her in with the rest of the Northerners, who hear his big decisions at the drop of a hat. You cannot have beautiful, heartwarming moments in the soft snowfall about trust and then not show her any afterwards. You cannot drop undisclosed bombshells and then expect Sansa, who is finally in a place with someone that she feels comfortable and safe having a voice and using it, to not be shocked and feel able to give her thoughts. You cannot expect that she is the only person not allowed to. 

Sansa is a person who is so kind and so forgiving that she’s on Jon’s side all the way to the very end. She’s still trying to keep him a King even after everything he led them to and all of the times he brushed her opinions aside. Even after he’s forever stained the North by bringing them to that massacre of Kings Landing. The world will forever know they supported Daenerys in that slaughter and, despite that, Sansa still knows he’s a good man. Still believes everything he’s done was to protect them all. (Because I refuse to believe that look she had when speaking with Daenerys wasn’t Sansa coming to the conclusion that Jon was doing everything he felt he needed to, to save them). 

Sansa was literally in Kings Landing feeling sympathy for those around her who had direct involvement in her torment. There were people backing her into corners, scaring her and reminding her how unsafe she was. And she was, in moments, still showing them undeserved kindness. Still thinking of these people with sympathies in her heart. Still taking care of the people who spent their time belittling her, when they were drowning in their own fears of battle.

That level of kindness and love isn’t taught in a single moment (of disrespect shown towards her) in a meeting of pardoning and bringing those who betrayed them back under their fold. It’s something you’re inherently born with and something you manage to continue to foster within yourself through the worst of your life, even when those around you are trying to break you and turn you into the worst of them. 

And thinking that those loyal to the Starks should be rewarded for that loyalty and raised up in station, while the Umbers and Karstarks should have some consequences for their disloyalty (something, I believe, is a very general and non-radical thought process of the time? might be wrong, but I think that’s true?), doesn’t strip away those fundamental qualities she holds. And also doesn’t solidify that she wouldn’t of changed her mind if Jon had come to her with the trust and respect he believed they should show one another, before that meeting, to let her know where he was at.

Anyway, Sansa’s a good and kind person who knows some stuff about some stuff and respect my lady, thank you.

#sansa stark #sansa stark defense squad #random #there was some posts talking about this on my dash. #i didn't want to spam them about how much i disagreed. #lolol #trying to be respectful on tumblr dot com ✌🏽💜

[sparklingchan]

Queen || Park Seonghwa(Ateez)

Pairing : Seonghwa x Reader (fem.)

Word count: 2k+

Warnings: Mentions of war , cuss words , A single kiss.

Genre:Angst , fluff, Goryeo AU , Royal AU.

Description : Serving the nation was Crown Prince Seonghwa’s second most top priority. You were the first. 

A/N: This one is an old drabble too but it’s one of my best ones. I haven’t been able to write much since my college already started but I will write a new imagine/drabble asap. 

Enjoy!

The warrior of Goryeo ,the future king, the pride of his father, the most gorgeous man to ever have been born, Seonghwa was everything an ideal crown prince could be. The tales of his bravery were known by the young and the old and the stories of his loyalty were performed as poems and songs. He was the most perfect man in the entire nation and the people truly believed so with all their hearts.

But little did the people know what actually hides behind his calm demeanor and loving smile.

"What do you mean you are getting me married?" Seonghwa has a stern look on his face, trying to remain calm as his father tells him -commands him - to do the one thing he could never do. His heart crushes in his chest but he tries to maintain a composed form in front of his discipline obsessed father.

"You heard me the first time, Crown Prince . You will be getting married to the Princess of a minor kingdom soon. " he asserts his decision by looking at the prince with angry, burning eyes.

Seonghwa has a heart of gold, they say. A heart so strong and so precious, no one could ever reach that point of greatness in one lifetime. But maybe they were wrong. Maybe his heart was not gold ,but glass ; frail and easily breakable.

That night, after his father practically forces him into an alliance he didn't even desire, Crown Prince Seonghwa walks to the one place in the entire nation that makes him feel safe and at home. And no,that is not his luxurious , comfortable palace complex.

Miss y/n's house is a few minutes away from the main royal complex so it has always been easier for Seonghwa to be able to sneak out without getting caught by guards or his own family members. Out of the million times he's ever been to her small,two roomed house, he's probably only ever been close to getting caught just once.

"Y/n, its me " he knocks softly at her door, trying to hold his tears in as his father's words still remain carved in his mind.

As soon as the door opens, he practically pulls her into his arms, finding comfort in that one person more than anyone else. She puts her head on his chest and nuzzles into the embrace, finding the similar comfort that he does in her.

"What's wrong ?" She asks, not being able to ignore the tear stains on his cheeks and the tremble in his voice.

He strokes her long ,black hair ,trying to gain courage to say anything at all. How could he tell her that all those dreams of living together might never come true, that he will be sharing his bed with another woman now, that he will have to father children of a woman he didn't love.

"Father is getting me married to a princess." he wishes he could have stopped those words before they reached her ears, despite the physical impossibility of that desire, but there's nothing he could do anymore. The damage has already been done .

Y/n's  heart drops in the deepest pits of her stomach , a feeling of anger , bitterness and betrayal washes over her as she process the information just provided to her. But she forces a smile, for Seonghwa 's sake.

"It's alright, your majesty. " she places a kiss on his head, fighting away tears that were so dangerously waiting to fall from her eyes. For Seonghwa , she reminds herself.

He looks up at her with bewilderment clear in his eyes. "Are you saying I should listen to him? "

Y/n bite her lips ,trying to form proper sentences in her head. How does one tell the man they love to let everything go ? Let them go?

She didn't want to do it, of course. If she could , she would have made him run away from that horrendous royal palace and keep him with her in her small hut where they could live a peaceful life but she couldn't.

He's royal blood and she is just a commoner who washes clothes for a living. She's not a match for him, no matter how much both of them pretended it weren't true.

"He's the king. You cannot say no to a royal command. " she whispers. She takes in deep breaths to make sure that his scent is embedded in her mind for centuries to come. The way that his arms feel warm around her and the smooth texture of his voice, she wants to remember everything.

"I will give up everything and come to you, y/n. Just say the word and I'll leave everything. " he says, taking her face in his hands. His fingertips press softly against her cheeks, the pressure sending shivers through her body.

"And then what? You leave and then what? Are you ready to give up all those luxuries and privileges to live a normal life where we have to work really hard to earn some money? " she speaks in a small voice as her shaky hands remove his from her face. "Will you turn your back on the citizens of our country that love you so much ?"

Seonghwa's hands fall to his sides , as if they lost all their sense of movement and purpose. The tears flowing down his cheeks refuse to stop anytime soon .

"Go, Seonghwa . Please. The country needs you. More than me. " she says , finally letting her own tears  flow too.

"I will never be able to love her. Not as much as I love you, not nearly as much you." he sobs, his hands yet again finding their way to her waist, pulling her into his chest.

Putting a hand on his chest , y/n stops his actions, although it only feels like twisting a knife further into her own wounds.

"Go."

As he walks away that night, she watches his back from a small gap through the window, trying to remember as many details about this man as her mind could afford to store. She wants to remember him. She wants to remember the only man who loved her so unconditionally.

The grief finally crashes into her , her whole body being taken over by ugly sobs, with her eyes still on Seonghwa 's back, his black hair shining under the moonlight and his sword swinging with every movement of his body.

For Seonghwa , she reminds herself , For Seonghwa , I will never love again.

"You have to stop bringing things like this for me, your highness. It makes me feel guilty." Y/n says , running her hand over the beautiful, brand new silk blanket sitting on her lap. Mingi smiles, rolling his eyes playfully at her. "Hey, this is not from me. It's from Brother Seonghwa ."

Nodding her head with slight disappointment on her face, she tries hard not to acknowledge the name even though it as if makes her body erupt into flames. It's been months since they last saw each other and although she doesn't say it out loud , her mind is pre occupied with Seonghwa’s thoughts more often than she'd like. But then again, It's not easy forgetting the man you so dearly loved.

"How's he doing?" Those words come out even before she could process it , spilling out of her mouth like water out of a jug.

"He's doing fine .Doesn't talk much ,rarely sleeps. I don't see him that much either." Mingi says

He's as miserable as she is, she realizes and even though it is horrible , she feels a slight giddiness at that thought.

"And the crown princess? "

"Do you really want to know, y/n?" Mingi replies with a slight chuckle.

No, she didn't really want to know about how much time the good-for-nothing princess is spending with her Seonghwa but she asked it anyway , just for the sake of it.

"No." She admits.

Mingi sighs, running his hand over the soft blanket laid on her lap. "They're not married yet you know . If you say it, I'll make some arrangements so you two could run off to a faraway place. He says he doesn't want the throne anyway. He honestly doesn't want anything that isn't you anymore. "

Y/n feels her heart beat increase at his words but her face remains neutral , trying not to lose her composure in front of Seonghwa's brother.

"I would never be able to keep him as happy as the princess might, though I hate to admit it. He's grown up in those palaces with thousands of servants and expensive clothes and luxurious cuisines. If he chooses me, he'll lose all of that. He'll lose his home , he'll lose the love of his countrymen, your highness. Why can't you of all people understand that? "

"No, I do understand, y/n. But I don't like seeing my brother like that. I and second prince Hongjoong have had to see him in such a miserable condition these past few months, not knowing what to do ," He says "No medicine for this illness ,right? " He adds, pointing a finger to the left side of his chest ; his heart.

"No, there isn't " she replies, but the "I wish there was " is silent.

"Are you out of your mind, Seonghwa ? Father will chop our heads off and have them displayed at the front gate of the palace!" Hongjoong is angry but he knows he's not exaggerating. Their excuse of a father might actually end up doing that if any of his children bring dishonor to the family.

"I agree. " Mingi agrees. Seonghwa paces to and fro in his room , the groom's clothes on his bed long forgotten. He runs a frustrated hand through his hair , hissing at himself for not being able to come up with a solid decision. He has to do something and he knows for a fact that he cannot marry the princess waiting for him in the king's court.

"I can't marry her. I will not marry her. "He keeps mumbling to himself under his breath as his brothers watch him helplessly.

The door of the room flies open without a warning and the three boys look at their father ,his majesty, the king of Goreyo entering the room with a horrified expression.

"The wench ran away." he says with a shaking breath, humiliation clear in his eyes. "The princess ran away with her lover to a far away place. I will wage a war on that kingdom! I will destroy them for this insult they've spat on our faces."

Seonghwa 's mind goes blank for a second , wondering if the words leaving his father's mouth were true or just a manifestation of his own imagination.

"Father, it's okay. I think everything happens for a reason. " Hongjoong speaks up , deciding to take one for the team. He trembles under his father's gaze but he swallows the fear. The universe knows he'd do anything for his brothers. Anything.

Mingi looks at Seonghwa ,as if signaling him to say something or do something instead of staring at the king like a statue. "Uh.. yes, yes, father. I don't think she'd have made a very good queen anyway so why waste our time fighting against such people? Let it go. Karma will get back to them."

He's speaking nonsense at this point but he doesn't care. He only wishes to see y/n as soon as possible.

"Fine, if you say so. Anyway I meant to ask you if you have a bride in mind. I can't cancel the whole wedding for a stupid girl ; you're getting married anyway, bring whoever you want, a common girl ,a noblewoman ,whatever. I just don't want my name to have a black stain on it because the crown prince's wedding got cancelled under my reign. "The king puts his hand on Seonghwa ‘s shoulder.

"Yes. Yes. I have someone in mind, father. I'll get her right away. " If you think he sprinted right out the door ,running off towards y/n's house without letting the king respond to his words, then you're absolutely right.

The knocks on her door seem oddly familiar ,too familiar to be true yet, without a second thought she opens it, although she wasn't actually expecting him to there.

" Seonghwa ! Did you run away from the wedding?" She cries, as he leans against her door and pants heavily.

"No." he gulps . " No. She ran away. Father wants me to marry whoever I want. Says he just wants to save his image."

Speechless. That is what she is as she watches him enter the small hut, his chest still heaving from the run and the sweat still fresh on his forehand. "I'm going to ask you this one last time, Y/n." he walks up to her ,trapping her by pinning her against the wall with his hands on either side of her head. "Will you marry me and become my Queen? Will you please do me this one favour? "

Y/n stares at him for a good five seconds, tears streaming down her face as she rests her hand on Seonghwa’s chest, the heartbeat from his chest matching hers.

When he raises an eyebrow demanding an answer, she doesn't reply but instead pulls his mouth down to meet hers. 

And that's all the answer he'll ever need.

#ultkpop #kafenetwork #starryktown #writekpop #ateez atiny #ateez fluff #ateez smut #ateez angst #kpop bands #kpop fluff #kpop angst #kpop ff #kpop smut #ateez au #ateez kpop #ateez x reader #ateez seonghwa #park seonghwa #ateez seonghwa au #ateez fanfic #ateez park seonghwa #ateez seonghwa ff #ateez seonghwa imagine #ateez reactions #kpop bias #kpop icons #kpop #kpop scenarios

[katnissmellarkkk]

Juxtaposition Between Lucy/Snow and Katniss/Peeta

More random thoughts about the comparisons I saw between Snow/Lucy and Katniss/Peeta:

(Got so long I’m putting it under the cut):

(Plot twist, I can’t figure out how to do a read-more on mobile so I’m super sorry, this is a long post.)

It’s, in a way, almost a complete juxtaposition between Everlark and Snow/Lucy. Because first off, to start slow, Snow and Lucy don’t understand each other at all. That’s partially what kind of draws Snow to her. She’s a mystery, she’s quick on her feet and constantly surprises him and he seems to enjoy that. But him and her have such different ideologies and, their relationship never fleshed out and developed too far so we never had the chance to see, but if his selfish, murderous, competitive tendencies didn’t come between them, their differences in views would have.

Katniss and Peeta almost have the opposite situation. They are reapted and Katniss keeps thinking she knows exactly how Peeta is and what his intentions are—i.e she keeps thinking he’s trying to sabotaged or kill her—and yes, he keeps taking her by surprise and he’s quick on his feet as well, but in a completely different way.

Katniss thinks he’d never understand how or why she feels like she does but she learns in the cave that that’s not even true. One example being that she had to hunt for her food herself to feed her family whereas his food is almost always a given since his family owns the bakery, but it’s stale and old and never good. They’re different but they understand the same general concept.

As for Everlark’s ideologies, Katniss doesn’t seem to understand how she feels for a long time because so much of her mind is preoccupied with mothering Prim and taking care of her. She knows she thinks the games are inhumane but she’s more resigned to what they’ll inevitably do to her in them. The night before the games Peeta displays his understanding of how the Capitol wants to make him a piece in their game and to make him lose his identity altogether. And he refuses the idea, refuses to play along with them. Katniss doesn’t grasp this at first but, eventually, his and her ideologies become one and the same. They see eye to eye and understand why the other feels the way they do and why they have to do what they do. As exemplified in Catching Fire, during their individual assessments. They both hold the Capitol responsible or take responsibility for different occurrences in the 74th games, because they won’t sit back and be a piece in the games anymore.

Now, another difference in the two couples that I found striking was, Snow claimed Lucy as the love of his life, he said he never wanted to love again and vowed never to, because of her. And yet, he was willing to give up, practically nothing for her.

He was willing to give up only what would benefit him in the end for the girl he claimed to love more than anything. Power always meant more to him than any human life and that extended towards the girl he claimed was his entire life. And, if you want to examine it, Lucy didn’t give up anything for Snow either. Whatever they did, they did for their own well-being and if it was convenient for the other, all the better.

Katniss and Peeta, on the hand... I don’t think I have to say this or go into too much depth about this because it has clearly been said before, much more eloquently, but they were willing to sacrifice everything for each other. Everything. Peeta could have easily had the same thoughts as Snow did in Songbirds and Snakes, he could have had the same temptations as Snow, and said “Katniss handed me the berries, this is on her, she doesn’t love me, this is all an act for her, not me,” and his life would have been easier for it. He probably would have been rewarded for it too. Given a much cushier, luxurious life if he hadn’t unequivocally supported and protected her at all costs to himself.

It’s almost interesting because there’s a similar line in Catching Fire as there is at the end of Songbirds and Snakes.

Katniss thinks before going back on camera in front of the Capitol : “And I know I’m not alone. As badly as I have hurt him, he won’t expose me in front of the camera. Won’t condemn me with a halfhearted kiss.”

Snow thinks before going to search for Lucy to tell her he’s leaving to go to District Two and bailing on their runaway plans : “Well, no matter. She would never tell. She wouldn’t be thrilled, obviously, when he told her there’d been a change of plans. That he was returning to the Peacekeepers and heading to District 2 tomorrow at dawn, essentially leaving her to her fate. Still, she’d never rat him out.”

Even broken-hearted, Katniss and Peeta never turned on each other. But Snow and Lucy quickly did, in the drop of a hat. Katniss’ assessment of Peeta’s character and loyalty to her is proven right, whereas only a couple pages, if that, after that quote from Snow, him and Lucy are attacking each other and the “love” between them evaporates.

In Mockingjay, yes, Peeta was hijacked but all that aside, be real, he almost murdered her. And yet, deep down, she never gave up on him, even when she told herself she’d have to kill him. She dissociated him from the person she loved, the boy with the bread who’d protected her against everything he possibly could, but when it came down it, she fought to get him to come back to her.

“It’s a long shot, it’s suicide maybe, but I do the only thing I can think of. I lean in and kiss Peeta full on the mouth. His whole body is shuddering but I keep my lips pressed against his until I have to come up for air.... ‘Stay with me.’”

“‘Always.’”

And

“Because that’s what you and I do. Protect each other.”

And this concept between them even reversed in the end Mockingjay, even after he had been programmed and injected with mind-altering serum,

“Let me go.”

“I can’t.”

Or even his warning to Katniss about the District Thirteen bombings. He knew he’d potentially lose his life—and because of that he lost his mind—but he still chose to protect her anyway. Just like Katniss, he did it at the cost of himself.

Whereas Snow, at the first sign of betrayal, in his own words, said

“If he’d felt better, he’d have laughed at the irony of how quickly their relationship had deteriorated into their own private Hunger Games.”

The two relationships actually represent a lot of opposite ends of the spectrum, because Snow and Lucy will never let go of their own power and control, whereas Katniss and Peeta, consciously or unconsciously give the other all the power they have to offer.

Another example of the contrast in sacrifices between the two relationships is :

Snow’s quote really just... speaks for itself.

“He had to think of just the right way to break the news. But what would that be? ‘I love you deeply, but I love officers’ school more?’ That wasn’t going to go over well.”

Whereas I don’t have an exact quote in my head—if you want, let me know if you think of one and I’ll edit with it—but overall, just the fact that, in large part, Katniss was going to the Capitol to kill Snow in Mockingjay for taking Peeta, mentally if nothing else, away from her. She was willing to sacrifice her freedom, her safety, her friends, ever seeing her little sister again, her life itself, in order to get revenge on Snow for what he did to Peeta.

The juxtaposition between the two relationships was high if you analyze it, and there were way more examples I didn’t mention, that I’ll make more posts about later. But overall, even though Lucy had too many Katniss parallels than I enjoyed—I was super into it for the first half, until Snow got to Twelve and it became a complete overkill—Everlark and Snow/Lucy had very little in common.

#everlark #mockingjay #quote #quotes #tbosas #bosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #balladspoilers #long post #tbosbas #100

[timeforelfnonsense]

His Hero

Criella x Wyll (ft. a little Dafni x Astarion) || M || Ao3 ||  Ko-fi ||  Let me write you a story? || Want to know what Dafni & Astarion got up to?

Criella looked absolutely radiant. Her long straight lilac hair hung loose and lovely down the long line of her back. Her spiraling, rosewood colored horns dressed in chains of silver and charms of luminous crystal. Her slender arms were free of their normal leather coverings revealing a tattoo of elegantly scrawled infernal that pulsed with arcane iridescence. 

Innovate 

A fitting descriptor.

As striking as she was it wasn’t her beauty alone that drew him to her. Rather it was the cocktail of boldness and brilliance she had exhibited in their short acquaintance. Her mind was sharp and quick to collaborate. In the heat of battle, her voice never wavered. He had watched in awe as she conjured roaring thunder and icy lighting. Weaving each spell together in a fearsome tempest. Raining down elegant destruction on Ragzlin’s perverse throne room. Ending the leader’s tyrannical grip on the coast with one precise strike of crackling electricity. 

“Enjoying your evening?” She asked, handing him a tankard of honeyed ale.

“There she is- the woman herself.” Let us raise a glass! Wyll chuckled, clicking the edge of his cup with her own goblet of red wine, “To freedom from tyranny! May we hew a path for the downtrodden to travel. To you a legend in the making! And of course to us. May our bond only grow stronger.” 

“Quite the toast.” She stated, casually bringing the silver goblet to her soft, quirked lips, “Are you coming on to me, Wyll?”

Wyll shivered at the feeling of the heart-shaped tip of her tail training up his spine. The curing white lines of her facial tattoos crinkling as she arched an expectant, manicured brow. 

“I hadn’t imagined myself so subtle?” He said, glancing up at her over the foam of his ale. A subtle grin curling across his lips, eyebrows ever so slightly raised, “Or to put it another way: yes.” Criella’s tail wrapped itself loosely around his waist a coy smile of her own working its way across her stunning features. Her silver eyes were nearly opalescent in the warm, gingery fire’s glow. Wyll pressed his lips to the slightly angled shell of her ear, speaking in a voice smooth as silk, “Your heart beats strong, friend. The Blade rarely seeks partnership.”

Criella’s hold on his midsection tightened as the warmth of his breath sent a shiver down her spine. The timbre of his voice felt like a hot beverage on a cool morning. Warming her from the tips of her fingers to the depths of her belly. It had been ages since she’d felt that sort of pull towards another being. Her heart dropped a bit as the memory of standing beside Zoria in a Neverwinter temple entered her mind. She had looked so beautiful, dressed in her gown of chiffon and net. The Ivory fabric standing in perfect contrast with her violet skin. 

Criella had been profoundly hurt when her best friend announced she was not only to be wed to her latest sweetheart but that she’d be leaving Waterdeep with her. It had felt like a betrayal. They had built something special together. Something so unique that Criella had sacrificed her own desires to pursue something deeper to preserve it. And Zoria was going to throw it all away. Yes, she had been mad but that all fell away when she saw the love Zoria had for her bride. She loved Zoria and loving her meant wanting to see her happy even if it was with someone else. The passage of time had softened the sting of losing her. It became easier and easier to write to her in the past few years. She even had begun to enjoy hearing about her wife and the sweet life they had made for themselves in Neverwinter.  

The experience had stung but it had taught her that hiding her feelings away was not necessarily the best course of action. Who could say if things would have worked out differently had she voiced her feelings? Regardless, it was not a mistake she’d be making twice. Wyll was a good man. She admired his tactical mind. His plan to take on the goblins had been clean and clever. He had fought for people whom he had no loyalties or connection to . Not because they had offered him gold or glory, but because they needed help. A fond smile played at her lips as she pictured Wyll with his tiefling charges, so gentle and patient. She’d practically melted on sight when she found him sparing amongst the children. 

Wyll was the sort of man she’d imagined into fairy stories as a brave king or gallant knight. An uncharacteristically wistful sight fell from her lips, causing her baby pink cheeks to grow a deep strawberry. Gods he was handsome! With a strong, noble countenance. Yet, there was a bit of ruggedness to his stubbled jaw that added a certain something to his charms. 

“Are you propositioning me, Blade?” She purred careful not to bump him with her horns as she placed her head on his broad shoulder. 

“If I were?” Wyll asked. 

“I would be incredibly flattered.” she assured, tilting her gaze up at him, “And happily accept.” 

“In that case, I reckon our union might continue to your bunk tonight.” Wyll beamed placing a feather-light kiss on her temple. A low chuckle rumbled in his chest as he added, “ Or I suppose we could just start out here like those two.” Wyll nudged her hip with his own, pointing a discreet finger towards their elven compatriots. 

“Now that is an idea!” Criella laughed. However, her amusement curdled as she watched Dafni’s hand travel ever closer to the front of Astarion’s breeches, “But, I think we’d best spare these poor people another...display.”

“You’re probably right.” He agreed, his hand reaching up to stroke the delicate line of her cheek, “But, I’d like to kiss you. Something to tide me over until the party winds down.” 

Criella lifted her head from his shoulder with an eager look. Wyll took her chin between his sword-calloused fingers, tilting her rosy face toward his lips. The moment their mouths brushed the world spun to a halt. She tasted of cherry wine and rosewater. The tip of her tongue sliding across the inner edge of his lip coaxing a soft gasp forward. Wyll wrapped one hand around her waist, his fingers gently pressing into her hip. The other laced through the waterfall of lavender hair, soft as satin as in his grasp. His heart thumped loudly in his own ears at the feeling of her warm palms sliding against his chest. A dull ache began behind his eye. A flash of bronze hair and moonlight skin tearing through his mind. 

Wyll stumbled back ending the heart-stopping embrace, “Pardon, just a bit woozy…”

“That’s alright. Do you still want to meet later?”

“Definitely.” Wyll nodded twirling a stray lock of hair around his index finger, “I’ll meet you at your bunk when you’re ready. I trust I won’t have to wait long.”

As soon as the party dwindled to its embers, Criella practically skipped back to her tent, a smile fixed on her face. As she pushed the heavy lavender canvas back she took a quick stock of her surroundings. She kept her quarters tidy enough but spick and span did not necessarily correlate with romantic. Perhaps she could light some candles? Criella’s lower lip caught in her sharp teeth. It wasn’t like her to feel like a giddy green lass! She was a woman of confidence and ambition. Her affections had always manifested as quite longings rather than whimsical, girlish fancies. Then again, she’d never been kissed in such a breathtaking manner before.

Criella brushed the tips of her index and middle fingers across the plush flesh of her lips shivering as she felt the ghost of Wyll’s astounding kiss. He tasted of ale and smelled of campfire and sweet earth. Criella had been a firm believer that first kisses were more often than not dreadfully awkward but he had proven her dead wrong. She could have even been coaxed to reconsider her stance on public displays of desire, were it not for the strange sharpness that pried them apart.

She felt a phantom throb behind her eyes. Who was that? She’d caught the glimpse of a face in Wyll’s mind as their thoughts slipped together. Bronze hair glowing in a fiery halo, flawless skin the color of the moonlight, her lips impossibly pink but the finer details of her appearance remained obscured by a fog of uncertainty. After a moment of concentration, she came to the conclusion that It didn’t matter who she was. Criella had never been the jealous sort and she had no intention of starting now. Wyll was a charming, attractive gentleman; she hadn’t deluded herself into thinking his affections had never belonged to another, nor did she mind that they had. What mattered was the here and now. And in the here and now Wyll wanted her. 

With that sorted, she shifted her focus to the matter at hand. She kicked off her boots before peeled away the soft leather of her leggings carefully folding and tucking them away. She loosened the laces of her green blouse allowing it to hand loose and casual from her narrow shoulders. With a stylish flick of her hand, she projected her mirror image. She shifted her weight to her right foot, her hip popping out slightly as her hand came to rest on its peak. 

“You are still glowing from battle. On my honor, you’ve never looked more beautiful.” Wyll’s warm voice filled the tent wrapping around her half-dressed body like a lover’s embrace. He approached her with slow, sure steps but his eyes flickered with a gentle want that set a fire between her thighs. 

Once more, Wyll pulled her close, their lips meeting in a deep sensual kiss. Criella’s palms pressed against his firm chest taking up a handful of his dark cotton shirt as she pulled him closer. His fingers found their way to her hair, his nails skimming lightly across her scalp. Criella cupped his cheek, thumb running along his scarred cheek. 

Wyll winced, pulling back from her kiss once more. Before she could ask what was wrong the needling pain behind her eye retired once more along with the mysterious woman. Her dazzling smile turned razor-sharp. Horns pushed their way through her ginger hair. Her creamy complexion shifting to a steely blue as two great, leather wings spreading out from her proud shoulders. 

A Cambion.

There was no mistaking it. This woman was Wyll’s patron, she was certain. Criella tried to hold her image in her mind, searching for any defining features or giveaways of her nature but Mizora’s wicked grin cut through her thoughts like a knife forcing her to look away. 

“Damnit. Must she ruin everything?” Wyll muttered bringing his palm to his stone eye to rub away the discomfort. “I’m sorry it's not supposed to be this way.”

“That was her, wasn’t it? Mizora.” 

Wyll’s shoulders slumped, hand still guarding his eye, “Yes. Wherever she’s gone she still haunts me. A ghost in all but name. Sometimes I swear I can smell her- sulfur and orchids. Stops my heart just to think of it. I thought I could forget Mizora. Just for one night. Gods, how wrong I was. “

Criella’s lips turned up into a soft smile as she pulled Wyll’s guardian palm from his face. Her voice was warm and sure as she spoke, “I understand Wyll, as well as I am able at least. Why don’t you spend the night beside me? No sex just sharing each other's company, hm?”

“I’d like that.”

Criella guided him down to her woolen bedroll by the arm. Wyll’s head came to read against her chest as she gently rubbed the tension from his strong, reliable shoulders. He let out a sigh as her nimble fingers worked at a perpetually tight spot near his collarbone. 

“I’d forgotten what it’s like to feel safe.” He confessed, warm whisky brown eyes meeting her’s. “I’m used to being the hero. Not so used to needing one.”

“It must be hard,” She mused in a musical tone, hands still working the stubborn muscle, Looking out for everyone else all the time. Devoting yourself to helping others. That’s a heavy burden for one man to carry. You are allowed to have a few moments for yourself. Besides, you’ll always be a hero to me, Wyll.”

“It means so much to hear those words from you.” He sighed, warping his hand gently around her wrist, I wish I could give you something more in return. My flesh at least. Something deeper were you to ask it. But only a free man can give himself fully. Until my pact is broken... I’m never free.”

“You will be rid of her one day. Sooner than you might think too.” She winked, tossing her loose hair with a flick of her tail, “You have my aid now after all! I’m somewhat of an expert on the Hells, Cania in particular, but I have a fair knowledge of the other eight as well. I’m no stranger to the politics and schemes of devils and there is nothing I can’t do once my mind is set to it. “

Wyll pressed his lips in a soft kiss to the sensitive skin on her inner wrist before pressing her palm to his steadily beating heart. “You are a blessing, Wit.” 

#elf writes #wyll #astarion #Criella Wit #dafni of gwynneth #bg3 oc

[myfandomrambles]

Adora, Catra & Trauma (Pt2)

(Part 1) (Part 3) (Part 4)

Full Show

An Analysis of the way Catra & Adora are affected by their respective traumatic experiences.

Relationships With Others:

Adora:

Adora works to be of use to other people and to be liked. She wants to impress people and to be “good enough”. Her sense of self and self-worth is completely tied up in how others view her; this is based on the identity destabilization and unhealthy schemas from disorganized attachment style. Disorganized attachment is born from Shadow Weaver, her mother figure and primary attachment, was psychologically abusive and formed a person who was not always safe to return to. Adora while didn’t form a complete distrust or others in a fight way but truly flees or fawns to the person she wants to attach to. Her attunement is strong for the most part but it is easily broken. 

Princess Alliance

Adora doesn’t have distinct relationships to most of the princess alliance. She regards them with loyalty and affection but doesn’t seem to have attachments past the need to be the ideal of She Ra. Adora’s interactions with most of the other princesses are filtered through her identity issues. 

Adora's interaction with Entrapta stands out the most because they have more one on one interactions and spend time on the same and on opposing sides. There are periods of stronger emotion like guilt, then a mostly apathetic confrontation to being able to work together. 

Light Hope & Queen Angella

Light hope and Angella both fill the void left by Shadow Weaver who is her commander and mother respectively. 

Light Hope starts being a person Adora searches out to give her some sort of answer and then continues to look to her for orders. Adora falls into a state of objectification due Light Hope treating Adora as mostly a weapon to act out her programming. Adora is generally willing to follow her and even starts to be casual with her, seen in Protocol (4x05). Adora wants to do well and be better than what she understands Mara to be starting in Light Hope (1x12). Adora goes to her for answers most notably when in The Coronation (4x01) Shadow Weaver reveals Adora is a First One. 

Adora feels betrayed when in Hero (4x09) she learns that being She Ra in the way Light Hope pushed her was harmful. Not only does this sever her relationship it also causes more identity issues and is a re-traumatization of betrayal trauma.

They have a confrontation in Destiny pt 2 (4x13) were Adora stands up and tries to assert her identity, and the part of Light Hope that did care for her shine through and tell Adora to shatter the sword. All of these experiences leave Adora feeling more objectified, guilty and with another betrayal wound. 

Angella stands in for the mother part of Shadow Weaver and is a healthier version. Angella starts off holding Adora not becoming emotionally close or trusting. Adora doesn’t try to get emotionally close but does search for trust. We see this in Adora’s open willingness to lose everything to rescue Glimmer (No Princess Left Behind 1x09)

They don’t interact much but during season 3 Adora offers respect and Angella tends to return it. In The Price of Power (3x01) we see Angella protect Adora. Understanding the pain and trauma Adora went through enough to try and stop Shadow Weaver from getting to talk to Adora. 

During The Portal (3x06) Angella tells Adora how brave she has been and gives her life up to protect everyone and in Adora's place saving her life. Angella gives the parting comfort of holding Adora's face a similar action to one Shadow Weaver uses but there is compassion behind it. She also gives the parting advice of “take care of each other” one Adora fully misunderstands. The reason they never fully attached was partially Angella’s preoccupation with her own daughter and also Adora’s internalized need to be a hero and objectification. They never gain a healthy motherly nor mentor ability to attune. These are why Adora reads her “take care of each other” wording to be Adora must take care of Glimmer. 

Bow

Bow and Adora generally have stable relationships, never having a moment of severe rupture in their relationships. Bow generally is friendly and supportive to Adora and most people in both their group dynamics and one-on-one bonds. In the final few episodes of season 4 and beginning of season 5, we see that Bow and Adora get along well acting as a duo. One of the main ways this dynamic show is how Bow cared for Adora when she was failing to take care of herself in Horde Prime (5x01) and Launch (5x02). Bow doesn’t always understand but cares greatly and is the primary partner when it comes to dealing with First One's technology.

They have different ways of handling situations and people like in season 4 when Adora’s is focused solely in solving her own destiny and stopping the heart whereas Bow is searching for Entrapta because he doesn’t believe in leaving “friends” behind. Seen in Beast Island (4x11) when Bow attempted to get Entrapta with a sappy speech and Adora is pragmatic. Adora also comments of Bow’s social intelligence is different from hers in Stranded (5x4)

Overall, Bow while not always understanding is generally supportive and able to give Adora strength via his pep talks. 

Glimmer

Adora and Glimmer’s relationship is generally strong and displays healthy dynamics in season 1-3 and again in season 5. During season 4 they experience an episode of relational rupture. The main issues underlying this rupture are the loss of queen Angella’s and the disparate ways they believe they ought to be leading. 

Adora was told to “take care of each other” by Angella in The Portal (3x06) but interpreted this as “take care of you [Glimmer]” (The Coronation, 4x01). Adora takes this seriously having spent her whole life as a protector and leader. Being a protector is a core belief of Adora's along with being compelled to honor a woman she respected. Glimmer is deeply affected by the loss of her mother and pushed herself to properly fill her shoes as queen and be a proper general. They are both absorbed in their respective grief. 

The other layer shows up in what they do when it comes to the war against the Horde. Adora is working to be the concept of She-Ra this can sometimes lead to blind spots on what others are doing. Glimmer on the other hand often misunderstands Adora’s need to be She Ra and sometimes forgets how to explain her needs. Glimmer is also more willing to play real war where Adora is in the magic realm. 

These issues cause strife up until Glimmer angrily pushes Adora too far in Boys' Night Out (4x08) blaming her for the loss of Angella. Adora is understandably hurt and then tries to hyper-focus on having to save the day. She falls back on the pattern of implicit memories of being the martyr and hero. 

Glimmer’s angry words mirror Catra's from their past. Centering on needing to be the hero. With both of them, it’s a slight misread of what Adora actually needs to do. She does need to be the hero, the leader, and save the day but not because she is self-important but because that is what she has built her entire identity on from when she was a child. She has experienced objectification her entire life and changing from this perspective isn’t something easily done. Glimmer and Adora both feel the need to prove something and carry weight too big for them and Glimmer lashes out while Adora lashes in making Adora obsessed with saving everyone 

Glimmer tries hard to support Adora in season 5 and is willing to do repair work from her mistreatment in Boys Night Out (4x08) and her mistakes in Destiny pt 1/2 (4x12-13). Adora is willing to let Glimmer back in easily, some of that might be Adora not focusing on her own hurt but was also healing. 

Glimmer and Adora went through a deep time of grief and strife and came out with a strong bond and maintained their care for each other. 

Catra

Adora’s relationship with Catra is the most defining one. This relationship depicts a romance torn apart by war as well as showing two children in an abusive family. This dynamic is part of the complexity of their attachments.  

Catra was Adora's primary attachment following Shadow Weaver, being her mother. From being a baby Catra was her primary relationship and her only source of love. In conjunction with their attachments they fill roles in an abusive family, Adora plays the golden child and Catra is the scapegoat. Shadow Weaver and The Horde pushed Adora to feel responsible for protecting Catra. Another layer to this is how Shadow Weaver set up Catra as essentially belonging to Adora (Promise 1x11). 

Adora and Catra's disparate views on Shadow Weaver and the Horde system caused strife between them as Adora wanted to be the leader, hero and was often given this title which forced to Catra feel sidelined. Adora is not always aware of what she is doing or how she is affecting Catra emotionally as well as struggling to understand Catra (Sword Pt 1 1x01, Promise 1x11, Corridors 5x03). But the intention isn’t to be upsetting to Catra but to fulfill her duty and show her love. 

Adora has attachment trauma caused by her upbringing, and she heavily shares this with Cata to be inherently disorganized and breeds traumatic bonding, neither is at fault. After their relational rupture in the start of season 1, Adora continuously wants to be with Catra still as she is her primary attachment and someone she loves deeply.  

However, even with the attachment trauma related to each other, we see Adora be willing to maintain some boundaries making Catra open up to her in the end. Putting her needs first after The Portal incident. (Remember & Portal 3x05-6). 

We see the relationship’s strength in Save The Cat (5x05) Adora being able to break through the effects of the medical and psychological abuse and showing both strength and vulnerability. In Taking Control (5x06) we get some of the strongest relationships scenes of Adora meeting Catra halfway but requiring Catra offering back the strength and vulnerability Adora gave. (Save The Cat & Taking Control 5x05-6)

In the next few episodes, we see them bond and Adora fall back into a mostly easy connection with her closest friend. In Failsafe (5x11) we see Adora being willing to admit she needs Catra and tries to rebuff Shadow Weaver’s attempted manipulation of their connection. We see Adora lose so much strength when Catra leaves again. Their relationships deep connection and Catra's ability to remind Adora she has something to live for ends up saving the day in Heart pt 2(5x13)

While I deeply enjoy their relationship there are some risks in it. Traumatic bonding and enmeshment are the base of their relationship and this has a higher probability to cause relational rupture down the line. Of the two Adora’s side is a bit healthier as Adora has some degree of identity without Catra and has formed attachments to Bow and Glimmer that are more stable. If Adora continues to heal from her need to suffer from others and maintains healthy connections outside I don't think it will be inherently traumatic. 

Catra

General 

Catra has a disorganized attachment style. Her ability to attach was compromised due to her primary attachment object being Shadow Weaver as her Mother. Her approach and avoid messages came from the same place, and any adults she would have tried to connect with would have been cold and militaristic. Children have to have a safe place and person to return to as they explore but Catra never had this, and this broken trust and attunement ability she struggles to attune to almost anyone else. Another layer is like many disorganized people she can experience enmeshment where identity and core ideas become overlapped with another person.  

Cadets

The other cadets treated Catra poorly growing up, shown when Adora leaves Lonnie Says “Adora’s not here to protect you anymore” (Razz 1x03.) At first, Catra generally distances herself from them but as she sits in her place of relative power she starts to turn the bullying and abuse back to them. This is an abusive turnaround and not common from nowhere even if Kyle tried to say so telling her they “used to be friends” (Destiny pt 1 4x12) this isn’t what happened. In flashbacks in Promise (1x11) Catra was excluded from the group and catra often got in fights with them (Corridors 5x03)

Next to Scorpia, Lonnie is the person who suffers from Catra’s abusive behavior. We see this especially in Protocol (4x05) & Fractures-Destiny pt1 (4x10-12) as Catra ends up putting her paranoid thoughts, anger and fear on her after the loss of Scorpia. As mentioned above this is a bit of a turnaround but more prevalently the pathway of abuse from Hordak above Catra to Catra on Scorpia and Lonnie. 

Bow & Glimmer

We see them interact to some degree in Princess Prom (1x08) & No Princess Left Behind (1x09) and it’s mostly in passing. Their first proper interaction comes in Ties That Bind (2x02) where Catra holds most of the power and only becomes dysregulated when Glimmer mentions Adora. But in the end, we see Catra at her most in control and manipulative and Glimmer’s is willing to act out. Catra wins the interaction through her manipulation with Entrapta.

In Destiny pt 2 (4x13) we see Glimmer and Adora both fall apart at the end. Glimmer is the one who sees Catra in a state of completely giving up in a fold state showing willingness to die. Catra is willing to save Glimmer when attacked by Horde Prime. 

During episodes, Horde Prime - Corridors (5x01-3) Glimmer and Catra both deals with isolation and are working for pure survival. They handle it in disparate ways Glimmer tries to be the archetypal queen needing to stay strong for her own perception of self. While Catra uses her implicit need to protect herself through playing the game of the person in power. Catra and Glimmer share a few pleasant moments where they discuss what they would do on Etheria offering a level of support. Catra is willing to save Glimmer to prove she has some good in her and for Adora.

At the end of Taking Control 5x06 and Shot in The Dark 5x08, we see Bow and Glimmer being generally positive and making jokes with Catra. They offer positivity only picking fun in good faith. Catra struggles with this due to her own hypervigilance but is willing to return this kindness. In An Ill Wind (5x09) they work together in a fine way to get what they want. They all share the love for Adora that will drive them to the ends of their own strength showing the main thing they have in common. (Save The Cat-Heart pt 2 5x05-13). 

Entrapta

Entrapta is an interesting case. From The Beacon-Signals (1x10-2x03) Catra and Entrapta share a relationship that starts with manipulation from Catra in saying that the princess would abandon her to get her on her side, this is also based on Catra's pain (The Beacon 1x10). They work decently together but Catra continues to struggle to form a healthy friendship finding Entrapta a bit grating and her generalized trust deficits. Catra can be mean to her but still offers some protection to Entrapta. (Signals 2x03). Their relationship totally breaks down from Catra’s perspective as of Light Spinner (2x06) as she feels replaced in Hordak’s eyes, replaying her base trauma from her attachment to Shadow Weaver. 

Entrapta is unaware of Catra’s trauma or her pattern of harming others to handle her own pain. This leaves Entrapta vulnerable, and she is only fully aware when she is banished to Beast Island by Catra in Moment of Truth (3x04).

They interact fully again in Taking Control (5x06) where Catra’s hypervigilance and recent medical trauma has her fearful of what Entrapta’s will do to her when removing the chip. After Entrapta is able to remove Catra is willing to apologize and Entrapta easily accepts it. 

Double Trouble

Double Trouble and Catra have a relationship built-in transactional stating in their first meeting in The Valley of the Lost (4x02). This continuous but Double Trouble is also able to make Catra laugh and Catra finds her easy to communicate with as there isn't a need for the same attachment patterns as normal relationships. (Flutterina-Princess Scorpia 4x03-6). 

Double Trouble then is captured and Catra becomes worried about being abandoned by them as part of an episode of depression and panic episode after having been left by Scorpia (Fractures 4x10). Catra is surprised to see Double Trouble and Double Trouble notices how broken up catra was and is happy to point out Catra's fears of abandonment. (Destiny pt 1) Double Troubles transactional nature turns against Catra in the same episode as they sell out Catra for their own safety. 

Double Trouble can't help but get in a final scene pointing out to Catra how she has driven everyone [Adora, Scorpia, Shadow Weaver & Hordak] away and that she has been wearing a mask this whole time. 

Scorpia

Scorpia suffers from the fall out of Catra’s symptoms dealing with Catra’s tendency to replay her abuse. Catra is never fully able to let Scorpia in, while Scorpia desperately wants Catra to like her. Scorpia has an intense crush on Catra and becomes blind to the abusive behavior due to her self perception as a good friend. Catra is also blinded to the kindness being offered to her due to a warped perception of others and her leaning into the abusive programming of her childhood. 

Throughout season 1 we see Catra generally keep Scorpia at an arm's length but Scorpia becomes attached when Catra shows her any attention like in Princess Prom (1x08), though Catra is upset about Adora and is default supportive of Scorpia. In season 2 we see Scorpia be very helpful to Catra and Catra does start to lean on her in Signals (2x03) and Catra even starts to recognize the affection in White Out (2x05). But fear and repeating abusive behaviors damage her relationships to a more abusive footing as Catra lashes out due to Shadow Weaver and Hordak's behavior. 

We have two important moments in season 3’s episode Once Upon A Time in the Crimson Waste (3x03) and Moment of Truth (3x04). In Once Upon A Time in the Crimson Waste (3x03) we see how their relationship could be, Scorpia noting that this is the first time she’s seen Catra even be happy and that she could leave. Any chance of comfort is broken when Catra suffers a breakdown and lashes out. In a Moment of Truth (3x04) Catra hurts Entrapta deeply and threatens Catra followed by almost killing everyone in a moment of suicidality and homicidal tendencies. This fractures their relationships irrevocably. 

Season 4 Catra spirals into only focusing on winning the war and being willing to use every one. She lashes out insulting Catra and putting her as her stress relief demeaning her. Scorpio recognized this finally in Princess Scorpia (4x06) telling Catra’s she’s a bad friend, a deep insult from Scorpia. This is one of the final straws that breaks Catra's fragile hold on functionality in Boys' Night Out (4x08). 

Catra realizes the harm she’s done in season five though the relationship is less active in the finale season. But it was formative in moving Catra to a place where she could be better. 

Hordak

Hordak and Catra’s relationship changes extremely throughout the show. In season one and presumably throughout their childhood he is a powerful influence that guides their actions but is more of a force than a person. He takes Catra into the higher sections of the power structure seeing her promise in being a force captain which is hugely important to Catra as it validates her need for attention and recognition. 

Throughout season 2 he acts as a secondary abuser to Shadow Weaver, she seeks out his approval wanting to be able to be on the same level with him protecting herself from the insinuation she lacks his trust. (2x01-3, White Out 3x05 & Light Spinner 3x06) Catra shows fear to him and even tries to protect Entrapta from him originally in Signals (2x03). We see her also be very hurt by Hordak choosing Entrapta over her throughout season two. 

Due to Catra still being very attached to Shadow Weaver we see Catra attempt to protect Shadow Weaver but at this point, she is still acting in fear of Hordak trying to avoid his anger at her culminating in him catching, assaulting and imprisoning her in Reunion (2x07). 

After this we see Catra be apathetic towards anything going on with him being in a state of depression and anger. She is reckless and is willing to call him out for being a coward and risk whatever he will do, breaking through the programmed fear. (The Price of Power 3x01 Once Upon A Time in The Crimson Waste 3x03)

Catra lies to Hordak during her break down to be able to pull the lever (Moment of truth 3x04). 

When they regroup after The Portal incident Hordak tries to continue using fear of Catra, but she overcomes the past fear almost completely and takes him on breaking his suit and partially disabling him. (The Coronation 4x01) She uses her knowledge of her own power and puts them on a more equal footing. Catra is the right hand but equal from his perspective until Destiny pt1 (4x12) where Hordak Says “we will control all of Etheria” and “victory is ours”. However, even this equality is partially a facade due to Hordak being an abuser to Catra for years and treating her as under him up until the last few episodes and Catra using the lie about Entrapta to claw back power after he rejected her before.

Catra starts to identify with Hordak telling him “you and me we don’t need anyone” (Princess Scorpia 4x06). She is trying to get him to finish their mission and has rejected any connection to others but in her rant, she is also still trying to prove herself saying “they’ll all see ''. This is similar to how Hordak wants to not be seen as defective. This identification also extends to her tendencies of following patterns of abusive behavior, at the height of identification her abusive behavior is at its worst. 

The identification and manipulation come to a head when they fight in Destiny pt 2 (4x12) after Double Trouble reveals Catra’s lies. The fight is both a power struggle and a depressive and anger-fueled breakdown. At least on Catra’s part, the outcome is similar to what happened after the portal (Once Upon a Time in the Waste-The Portal 3x03-6). Hordak’s anger was comes from him placing some a level of trust in Catra and her rejecting that.

This fight is reckless and leaves Catra mentally and physically battered, an important moment that sets up her actions in season 5. 

During her imprisonment with Horde Prime, they connect over her being able to tell him from the other Horde clones. They also both suffer similar religious and medical assaults from Horde Prime. They have little interaction after their plotlines diverge. Though both deal with ideas of autonomy. 

Adora

Cat's entire world is centered around Adora. Her continued existence was tied to her relationship to Adora from Shadow Weaver’s perspective (Promise 1x11). As a child, Adora was her entire world and the only person to ever show her kindness. This leads her to experience an extreme  enmeshment and traumatic bonding that leads to identity and relational struggles. 

An early difference between them is the way Catra never had an ideological commitment to the Horde vs Adora who had a belief system to break. This difference is one of the first cracks in their relationship to Catra viewing the betrayal of Adora in personal terms. Due to the fact, Catra finds the idea that the Horde was hurting people obvious due to horrendous abuse she suffered as a child so Adora left her and downplayed their trauma in one go. (The Sword pt 1/2 1x01-2)

Catra spends much of the first season splitting on Adora going between wanting her back, protecting her, shoving her away and eventually proclaiming false independence. This is a trait of her symptom pattern due to her developmental trauma. A slightly less extreme splitting episode happens after they became close again (Return to the Fright Zone-Heart pt 1 5x10-12)

In her most violence breakdown in Remember (3x05) & The Portal (3x06) where Catra’s locus of control has broken down to being all about Adora’s actions. Adora rejects the blame and this forms another form of rupture in their connection. 

Catra never fully stops being dependent on Adora for her sense of self and actions. She heavily places weight on what Adora did, what Adora would think, how to get Adora’s attention and ways to prove she’s better. Even when angry at her Catra has a need to base decisions off showing Adora her worth and strength (Princess Prom 1x08 & Princess Scorpia 4x06). 

In the final arc of the show Catra has positive changes in her behavior and emotions. However, she still hasn’t fully learned boundaries; her decision to change was spurred on by flashbacks to her co-dependence on Adora in her childhood (Corridors 5x03). Their relationship starts to heal through Adora keeping up a level of boundaries and Catra being willing to admit she needs Adora (Taking Control 5x06). Throughout the rest of the season, Catra’s behavior is still centered around how Adora views Catra in their ability to work together and then the rupture after fearing Adora would choose her duty over Catra again and the misperception Adora lacked as strong feelings for Catra as she did for her. (Failsafe & Heart pt 1 5x11-12)

We see their relationship mature over this last season and the romantic aspect taking centre stage ending with their kissing help both of them maintain a connection reality in The Heart pt 2 (5x13)

Her love for Adora is important and something that kept her strong and can be healing. However, the relationship is still subject to dysfunction due to Adora the key to Catra’s core beliefs and schemas. Learning to have their strong connection be a strength while maintaining boundaries will be the key to this relationship being healing.

[Will cover Shadow Weaver and the girls in pt 3]

#acat #fandom: #she ra #topic: #abuse and media #trauma media #meta #relationships #ship: #catradora #catra/adora #catra & adora #Adora & glimmer #Adora & bow #Catra & scorpia #Adora & LIght Hope #Catra & Glimmer #Catra & Bow #Catra & Entrapta #Catra & Hordak #Character: #catra #adora #bow #glimmer #scorpia #Lonnie #Light Hope #Hordak #Entrapta