#the tk one especially makes me so emotional | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eclectic-sassycoweyes · 10 months

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Been thinking a lot about not only TK using Carlos’ bicep as his personal ‘emotional support bicep’ which 🥹🥹🥹 - also thank you and creds to @paperstorm for making the huge contribution to the whole entire fandom with this description -

But, also about the whole thing from Carlos’ perspective and how Carlos reacts to it, and feels about it, makes my stomach do a little swoop every time I come across a gif from either the wedding ep or the scene where they’re waiting for news on Marjan

Like, I’m thinking about semi-lonely, tense pre- and during season 1 Carlos needing someone, not just to love and be loved by but to take care of and hold and be there for🥺 Like we all know Carlos must work a lot to maintain those biceps and of course this is probably for his own sake bc he likes them, and to be good at his job etc but,,

He’s obviously gotten some attention from it, guys who finds him sexy and maybe likes a little power play

And he can appreciate that especially when ‘guys’ are in fact TK who enjoys it and wants him to use his strength a little bit to press his hands into the mattress above his head: (🔥)

Or to ‘twist his arm’ 😏😏

But more than that S1 Carlos longed for his body (huge bicep) to be appreciated in different ways. To be the one that someone (TK) needed to be held by, to be the shoulder (bicep) that someone (TK) could cry on, and lean on (both figuratively:

And literally:

- He needed to be that for someone (TK), to take on that role in a healthy, loving relationship. And he certainly got that from TK. But he got even more than that, more than he could have dreamed of, bc with TK he’s also become a shoulder (bicep) to sleep on:

Not just in the domestic privacy of their own home, but in public, among a wonderful new group of friends and family:

As well as a shoulder (bicep) to both lean on and rub their thumb back and forth on for self soothing:

In short, that work paid off exponentially as he got to be someone’s (TK’s) ‘emotional support bicep’. 🥲

And what completely gets me is the way he’s so casual about it in this last one. Like I imagined the first couple of times Carlos in his head would have been like ‘oh, okay, my bicep is now your pillow, I see, I’ll stay as still as possible or react in some way like by kissing your hair or something or move so you’re more comfortable’, and ‘oh okay, you’re not letting go, you really must love that bicep, I’ll buy a permanent gym membership and think of that ever time I work out, this bicep shall be forever dedicated to your needs’ while in his head being all 😳🫠🥰😌🥹🥹🥰

But now he barely reacts, it’s so natural. He just barely registers that ‘oh, my adorable, emotional boyfriend (husband😭) (TK who I know in and out and who know me the same way😭) is (once again/per usual😭) reserving my bicep for emotional support reasons while he cries on me, imma let him do his thing while I grab his ankle, both to comfort TK,’ - but also bc while TK needs to physically lean on someone (Carlos) when he’s emotional (or sleepy, or just, it’s right there anyway), what Carlos needs it something (someone) (TK) to hold on to, to tether himself to bc it’s overwhelming for him to lose control of his emotions.

And TK is the perfect rock for him because he’s not only so open about his emotions, and an adorable kitten boyfriend (husband), but because he’s also and at the same time incredibly strong and prepared to catch Carlos at any time😭

The naturalness of it all just says so much about how long they’ve been together and built their relationship, how well they know and how comfortable they are with each other and how they’re perfect for each other and fit together like two pieces of a puzzle! There are some thoughts here about different kinds and ways of embodying ‘masculinity’ and vulnerability but I’m not nearly eloquent enough rn to go into that..

Anyway, with TK, Carlos, now without even giving it a second thought, has gotten the relationship he dreamed of and more, has gotten exactly the appreciation for his strength and body (biceps) that S1 Carlos longed for and worked so hard for, and gets to take on the role in his relationship that he needs and be who he always were and I’m just 😭🥹🥹🥰🥰🫠 slowly melting away over it.

#me rambling #Tarlos ramblings #Tarlos headcanons #am definitely not working on my thesis right now as you all can see🙃#@paperstorm I hope it’s okay that I tagged you I’m still a newbie when it comes to tumblr etiquette and I wanted to give creds for the #emotional support bicep #since you came up with the term and I appreciate where that made my mind go 🙃#Carlos’ biceps #Tarlos #9-1-1 lone star #911ls #carlos reyes #tk strand #headcanons #Tarlos feels #kitten tk #gentle dom carlos #tarlos wedding #tk sleeping on Carlos

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lemonlyman-dotcom · 3 months

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Year in Review: Favorite Lines

tagged by @iboatedhere @liminalmemories21 @alrightbuckaroo @bonheur-cafe & @thebumblecee thank you! 💕

RULES: Share your top three/top five/however many favorite snippet(s)/line/quotes/paragraphs from your published fics (or wips, I don’t care!) and don’t forget to share the link of course!

Make Me Laugh 'till I Die, I Stand Beside You With Pride

“Some of the crew in our firehouse in New York, they thought it was weird,” TK continues, fingers pulling at the hems of his sleep shorts. The stripey ones that Carlos teases him for, says they make him look like Mr. Bean. “They thought it was nepotism. They'd never say it to my face, but I heard the rumblings in the locker room. They thought I couldn't cut it in a firehouse on my own. That I needed my dad as my captain, to pick up my slack. It’s why I got dual certified. I guess I felt like I needed to have two certifications to prove that I deserved my job. Even Judd said I was ‘just the coach’s kid’ when I got here. That I got special treatment.”

“And you proved him wrong,” Carlos replies, a spark of anger burning low in his belly, fighting with the swell of pride in his chest.

“That's true.”

“I hope,” Carlos pauses, caught by his own emotion. “Baby, I hope I've never made you feel that way.”

“No, Carlos, you haven’t.” TK says. “Of course you haven’t.”

Carlos studies TK for a moment, searching his eyes for any sign of hesitancy. Finding none, he contemplates what TK has shared with him, the heaviness of being shamed for something so precious as his relationship with a parent.

“I don’t think your relationship with your dad is weird,” Carlos eventually says. “I think it’s really special. And I know how hard you worked for it, baby. That it didn’t come easy. I’m proud of you.”

TK looks up at that, “you are?”

“Yeah,” Carlos says almost shyly. He reaches out to brush his thumb against TK’s 252 medallion, takes it in hand and holds it reverently for a moment. Quietly, he says, “honestly, sometimes I’m a little jealous.”

“Baby.”

“No, it’s okay,” Carlos continues. “I just see how you are with your dad, how easy it is between you two and then I look at my relationship with my dad and I wish it was that easy for us.”

Carlos takes a deep breath and TK reaches out, shuffling a little closer while he pulls Carlos in with a hand behind his neck and briefly rests their foreheads together.

“I know how hard you fought for your relationship with your dad, TK,” Carlos says as they pull apart again, his hand regaining its position on TK’s knee. “I know how much it means to you. Trust me, it’s important to me too. I love you and I love your dad. I especially love the way he loves you. I don't want you to feel like he’s ever not welcome here.”

“I want you to have that too,” TK has tears in his eyes now. “A special relationship with your dad.”

“We’ll get there,” Carlos says. “It’s gotten a lot better the last few years.” He reaches over and wipes a tear from TK’s cheek. “You’ve helped, you know?”

“No, Carlos,” TK’s voice lightly cracks on the first word.

“Yeah, you have,” Carlos smiles. “This beautiful, brilliant boy came into my life and opened up my heart. Inspired me, gave me courage to introduce him to my parents. To share with them this part of me that I'd kept hidden for so long. It’s given me a deeper connection with both of them, before it was …so superficial.”

getting past the wounds of love

The house’s sprawling lawn is covered with stuff, organized into categories like books, music, clothes and furniture. Four tables full of vinyl records on the edge of the lawn had caught Paul and TK’s eyes. The pair recently discovered a shared love of vinyl while splitting a late-night Kit-Kat bar that TK had smuggled past his dad into the firehouse kitchen.

TK mentioned that Owen refused to let him display his modest record collection because it would clash with the minimalist aesthetic of his house. Instead his stereo system and records are stored in his room. Owen had offered to allow the turntable and speakers to be set up in the den, on the condition that TK add a selection of his favorites, like Tom Petty and Toto, to his collection. TK, knowing he would end up in yacht rock hell if he agreed to his dad’s terms, had firmly refused.

Paul recalled how he’d inherited his grandparents’ record collection when he was a kid – mostly jazz, blues and classic Afrobeats – and later his dad’s records too. He’s been adding to it since he was old enough to have his own money. It now contains a healthy selection of funk, disco, old school hip hop and early jazz.

TK hasn’t bought any new records since leaving New York, and hasn’t been actively crate digging since before he started seeing his ex, Alex. But he’s gone record shopping with Paul a few times since that night at the firehouse, he’s started googling record shops in the Austin area and they’ve made a list of stores they want to visit. It’s a part of himself that he’d buried in his relationship, in his attempts to be the perfect modern metropolitan boyfriend for Alex. Alex who thought vinyl was for hipsters, and anything outside of the top 40 charts was eccentric. Who told TK not to play any of that “weird shit” when his friends were over. And it feels nice to reclaim it, to discover this passion again in a music mecca like Austin with his new friends. With Paul, who understands more than anyone what it’s like to not quite fit into the spaces you think you should.

-and-

“I’ve never seen anybody inhale a lasagna like that,” he says with a glint in his eyes, head ducked just a bit to make eye contact.

TK feels a little bit embarrassed, feels his face go red.

“Hey, I think it’s cute,” Carlos says as he reaches a hand up and squeezes TK’s side. “I’ll keep it in mind, see if Paul will give me his recipe.”

TK ducks his head and laughs a little. He’s not sure how he feels about that. About Carlos making notes, making him special recipes. He feels Carlos’s hand under his chin, gently tilting his head back up.

“You okay?” he asks, soulful eyes penetrating him like they can read his mind. Instead of answering he moves a hand up behind Carlos’s neck, pulling him forward to place a soft kiss on his lips. It’s a sweet kiss, but a short one.

“Hmm,” Carlos says as TK pulls back, voice deep and a soft smile playing at his lips. “What was that for?”

“Maybe I think you’re nice,” TK says. “Maybe I wanted to see if you taste like lasagna.”

This earns him a loud laugh from Carlos, who gives his side one more squeeze before guiding him into the car. When Carlos gets into the driver's seat he puts the keys in the ignition before turning to TK with a serious look, “Where am I taking you?”

“What do you mean,” TK feigns innocence.

“Am I taking you home, or,” his eyes trail down TK’s body and back up, “are you coming home with me?”

“Officer Reyes, what kind of boy do you think I am?”

“I know exactly what kind of boy you are, Firefighter Strand,” Carlos says. “You’re sweet—”

“Sometimes I’m sour.”

“Mm, sometimes,” Carlos nods in concession. “But mostly I think you’re sweet. And you’re brave. And cocky. And very good with that smart mouth.”

“Just my mouth?”

“Come home with me and we’ll find out.”

Sunshine On My Body, Rainbows Bloomin' In My Skies

“Sick,” Mateo said, sawing the knife back and forth, he was finally making some leeway with the packing tape. “I’ve never been hiking, maybe we can come sometime.”

“Babe,” Nancy said forcefully, slamming her drink onto the counter with a slosh. Maybe she was feeling extra sensitive today too. The unicorn horn tilted precariously, the cotton candy mountain wobbled, sending dislodged rainbow sprinkles cascading onto the counter and floor. Momentarily Carlos wondered, are sprinkles like glitter? Had Owen just been sentenced to a lifetime of finding shiny sprinkles around his kitchen; one at a time they’d appear, glimmering from the grout behind the sink, hiding behind the spoons in the utensil drawer, years later still worn into the grooves of the kitchen floor tiles.

“You want to climb a mountain,” she was asking a stunned looking Mateo. Her now-empty hands outstretched and gesturing enthusiastically. “I can't even get you to go to barre class with me.”

“Because that’s for chicks!”

TK immediately cut a look to Carlos that screamed danger.

Why Do You Think I Ran

“I wasted so much time,” TK says, and now Carlos understands where this is coming from. Up until about four hours ago, TK was living on a countdown. A death sentence hanging over his head — over their heads. Apparently he’s not done spiraling about the finiteness of life, the time he feels he’s wasted. He curls in a little closer, propping his chin on Carlos’s bare chest, and looking up at him with shiny sea glass eyes he says, “I was scared because I’d just had my heart broken, and I told myself I’d never put myself in that position again. Never let somebody get close enough to hurt me that badly. And then there you were, with your big generous heart, and your sweet soulful eyes, and those hips…” He wrinkles his nose, “and your fish.”

“Oh my god, I’ve never tried to make you fish again, have I?”

Carlos has cataloged all of TK’s laughs; his delighted giggle, the small under-his-breath snort when he’s laughing at his own joke, the soft little gasping chuckle that only comes out during sex. The laugh TK lets out right now is Carlos’s favorite, the one where he scrunches his eyes and shows his teeth. The one he reserves just for Carlos.

He bites his lip and ducks his head, placing a soft kiss just over Carlos’s heart before looking up and soberly saying, “I was scared because I was falling in love with you and I knew I would blow it up.”

The Greatest Gift I’ve Found, The Sweetest Thing I’ve Known

“You know, there’s a lot of things to adore about TK. But do you know the thing we love the most about him?” He makes a questioning noise. She points a finger into the dimple in his cheek. “This.”

He furrows his brow in question.

“Oh, I’ve known you for thirty years, niñito.” He bites back his quip about how he’s not 30 yet, wanting to know where she’s going with this. “But I’ve never seen that smile, not until about four years ago.”

“When I met TK.”

“When you met TK.” She nods. “We all knew something was different. Even if it took you a while to work up the courage to bring him around. You seemed so light, so happy. We knew something had happened.”

He looks over to where TK is chatting away with his abuelita, smiles fondly as he watches her laugh at something TK’s said. She grips his forearm to keep herself upright and TK easily places a hand over hers.

“He’s a special person,” Carlos says.

“He is, but honey. So are you,” Lucy grips his bicep softly. “We love you, Carlitos, and I’m sorry that we ever made you feel like you had to hide any of your specialness from us.”

“Thank you, Tía,” he says around the lump that’s formed in his throat. She cups his cheek and nods at him with shiny eyes. “And thank you for loving him.”

“He makes it easy,” she pats his cheek. “Just in the way he loves you.”

Como Te Quiero Yo (how I love you)

When he collapses gently on top of him, TK lets out a slightly unhinged laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

“We were supposed to go to the pool,” he laughs, the sound is glittery and sweet and Carlos loves him even more.

“Fuck the pool,” Carlos says as he rolls off of TK and pulls him into his side. “I never wanna leave this room.”

“You want a sex marathon?” TK’s eyes shine silver in the natural light of the room. “Hmm, and all I had to do was wear those silly shorts.”

“It wasn’t the shorts.” Carlos says flatly, sitting up and moving off the bed.

“You should try them on, babe, I bet they’d look really hot on you.”

“You think I look hot in anything,” Carlos chides. He picks the shorts up from the floor, scrutinizing them like they’re some sort of evidence at a crime scene. “They’re very small.”

“Yeah they are,” TK snorts. “Like I said. Hot.”

The shorts make it halfway up Carlos’s thighs before he hears it. A loud rip. “Oooooh, shit.”

“Did you?” TK laughs and sits up as Carlos scrambles to push the shorts back down. “Oh my god, babe.”

“I’m so sorry,” Carlos cries, pulling them off and examining the ripped seam. “I knew I shouldn’t have put them on. Damn. They wouldn’t even fit over my thighs.”

“Oh, baby,” TK says through a fit of giggles. Carlos looks genuinely distressed. “Never apologize for those thighs and that ass.”

I have no idea who’s already done this also I’m super late but tagging @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @your-catfish-friend @sznofthesticks @paperstorm @reyesstrand @thisbuildinghasfeelings @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @carlos-in-glasses @carlos-tk @lightningboltreader @chicgeekgirl89 @tinyluminaryzombie @redshirt2 @noxsoulmate @detective-giggles @fallout-mars @freneticfloetry @orchidscript @my-little-tilly @heartstringsduet @basilsunrise @theghostofashton @apothecarose @never-blooms @ambiguouspenny and open tag for anyone else who might wanna go!!

#this was lost in my drafts #some of my favorite lines I wrote in 2023!#tarlos fic #tarlos fanfic #911 lone star fic #lemon fic

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howtosingit · 1 year

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The silver lining to all the fandom bullshit, for me, is that I came out of 4x03 loving both TK and Carlos a whole helluva lot more than I ever have... and also seeing the ways, across 4x01 to 4x03, that they love so fiercely - both each other and others - with their whole fucking hearts... and knowing that loving that hard, that intensely, means that it’s never perfect because it’s so easy for emotions to make things messy and complicated when it consumes you like that... but I’ve always said that I could go through any angst with these two as long as the love is still there... and oh boy is it still there.

I just really fucking love them both, warts and all.

[More under the cut because I have too many thoughts:]

I've analyzed both of their behaviors and I fully get them and appreciate them. I think what it boils down to is that they just have different priorities in 4x03 that aren't fully working in tandem at the moment and it's causing some tension... but it's actually really good tension because what couple has the same exact priorities every damn moment of their lives?? What are they, clones??

And if I'm thinking of only TK's emotions then I'm upset by Carlos's distance for sure... but I also think TK is a lot more than just upset. He's also feeling guilty (and he was before Carlos even knew about the visit, so that guilt was all his, Carlos did not put that on him initially) and concerned for Carlos because he's seeing Carlos behave erratically and that's new for him. Like, TK sees this change in Carlos and he is scared of it because he knows how far Carlos is willing to go for the people he loves, he’s seen Carlos do that for him before. He knows. So, I am reading TK's reactions as a lot more nuanced than just sad/upset - the man is feeling a lot... GIVE HIM A HUG PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

And as far as Carlos... our tragic, compartmentalizing Carlos... when Iris goes missing he pushes so much down just to focus on her - on finding her, on protecting her, on supporting her. He and TK have one argument and he does his best to not lash out... he buries it and shifts his focus. Full-on focus on finding Iris, finding answers. He gets right to work, he’s in detective/cop mode, just like Ronen said. And we know he has his own guilt driving him towards that, especially since he thinks that maybe coming back into her life like this, with the divorce and with TK, has fucked up her stability. He remains super focused on the s*x doll call because when he comes into the call it is literally in response to the missing person alert - unlike the 126, this call is tied to Iris from minute one for him... and then when he has Iris back he's still just focused on her because she is not doing well. But he's not ignoring TK completely this entire episode as I've seen so many people claim... he literally calls TK to give an update about Iris... he's concerned about Iris and he chooses to talk to TK about it... about whether or not he can believe her like he wants to when all the evidence says he shouldn't. It's the trusting his gut thing all over again... but this time it's trusting his gut to trust Iris... but he still calls TK to talk through that. And it’s not so that he can further blame TK for it either - that blame and guilt is still very much coming from TK himself, and if Carlos is doing anything wrong here it’s that he’s not reassuring TK that he’s blameless... and, like, I get that? Because Carlos also isn’t feeling blameless so maybe he’s thinking it’s both of their faults, that they did this to her. (Not correct, not rational, but understandable, at least to me.)

And then the final call that he makes... I love that the scene starts with his attention on the house... he clearly wants to go right in and get to work... but he pauses and calls TK... and sure he lies to him but that's because he's doing something he knows he shouldn't and he doesn't want to be convinced not to... which is understandable, too, I think. He would’ve lied to anyone in that moment. But he also doesn't want TK to worry when he doesn't come home so he calls and at least gives him a little bit of relief... and yes it's a lie but like... we knew Carlos was gonna be irrational this episode... he doesn't ALWAYS do the right thing. So it's a lie but it at least it gives him time to do what he wants to do AND it - in his mind, though he is wrong - will help settle TK worries.

I don't know... I'm just not mad about all of this. I actually think 4x03 was an incredibly strong episode (the Carlos plot only though). I mean those scenes with Iris... y'all I'm still losing my mind over them. Their friendship is so beautiful and you can clearly see how they were each other’s whole world at one point in time. I love seeing a Carlos that breaks the rules and does the wrong thing because my god I don't know a single person who doesn't fuck up every once in awhile... but he does it out of LOVE, he does it out of his NEED to help, to protect, to be there for the people he loves. Like, how the fuck am I supposed to hate him for that? (Spoiler alert: I’m not gonna and you can’t make me.)

I think if you’re THAT mad at Carlos, it’s because you’re not even trying to understand him in all of this... you’re seeing the POV that the show is giving us (which for the Tarlos of all of this is clearly TK, that’s why we got the talk with Tommy) and you’re not even trying to analyze the rest of the story. And, like, I’m not here to tell you you have to, but I think you’d find this a lot more enjoyable if you at least tried to see where all the characters are coming from. And you might still be frustrated with Carlos - he’s frustrating, hallelujah! - but you’d also realize he’s not the fucking devil. He’s just an imperfect man with a too-big heart stuck between a rock (tunnel) and a hard place (a shovel). And I’m so excited to see the LOVE that he and TK have for each other SAVE him (and them). IT’S. STILL. ALL. ABOUT. THEIR. LOVE.

Anyway... bring on 4x04, I’m so fucking READY.

#whoops... my brain wouldn't shut up #ls spoilers #ls speculation #tarlos #911 lone star #I want TK to have all the hugs #I want Carlos to have all the hugs #I want Iris to have all the hugs #I want someone to hug Andrea when she finds out her son is missing #Y'ALL GIVE EVERYONE HUGS THEY'RE GOING THROUGH HELL RIGHT NOW

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crown-of-roses-thsc · 4 days

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Okay hold up- other endings that you had to scrap? And one of them had Ellie x Rupert?!?!? (I really like that ship as a platonic pare…)

May I ask, how would a TT or any timeline where Ellie goes against the clan work with this au? Since Ellie is/was a toppat and all…

Yup Yup! Lemme see…the two endings I definitely plan on doing are Toppat Civil Warfare (Crown of Thorns) and Toppat King (Queen of Roses)

Originally, though, I planned on doing a lot of endings- and even having some overarching story where either Ellie was allowed by Henry to borrow his multiverse powers…somehow, or where the CCC gets bugged by all of these multiverses and makes sure Reginald never betrays Ellie to limit the amount. Not super well thought out 😭

And yeah! Ellie x Rupert…I don’t know what drove me to do that. I think I just thought Rupert being the bossy jock that he always is would be super funny paired with Ellie’s…bossy kick-aaa kind of attitude, haha!

TT and timelines of the sort would mostly follow her resentment towards Reginald driving her to take down the Toppat Clan…especially after seeing how loyal Henry and Charles are. I remember planning a lot of emotional conflict but I can’t find anywhere where I wrote my plans :(

Update: Wait, I did find some notes! Here are the endings I still consider potential fodder if I ever did want to make more endings :))

(TK and TCW ARE canon, so I won’t go over them here)

Queen of Roses - Was going to be the final ending, which would’ve involved Reginald never betraying Ellie.

Bloodred Roses - This ending is one I still consider canon, and follows Ellie as she tries to hunt down the Toppats….only to find the remains of the Revenged Ending. She would meet the ghosts of her former friends, learn how they died in this ending and what life was like once she was gone…and she would try to give them peace.

Blooming Gardens - The Triple Threat ending, which would give Ellie a sibling relationship with Charles and Henry and a father-daughter relationship with the general (who ironically would’ve been her grandpa-in-law if she and Reg got together…this makes me laugh.) Rupert was going to be especially judgmental of her past as a Toppat, but I planned on them slowly becoming friends and possibly hinting at a relationship, although come to think of it they’re way better as best friends

Yeah, a lot of chaotic stuff. Currently, I just plan for Crown of Roses to be the current comic, two endings, and maybe a comic about Suave’s generation…since I like them a lot :)….though I’d love to do a mini-comic about Bloodred Roses….

#henry stickmin crown of roses #thsc cor #thsc #henry stickmin #au #thsc au #thsc ellie rose #copperrose #thsc reginald copperbottom #thsc right hand man #thsc rupert price #rarepair #thsc endings

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alrightbuckaroo · 15 days

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ada!!! i was thinking about your post with poems you think the lone star characters would love, and for nice ask week i was wondering if you have any others you’d add to that list? or if there’s any you really love that you think capture certain characters/relationships on the show? always love to see your recs :’) <3 —maddie/reyesstrand

Maddie!! I love this question so much so thank you for asking it!! <3

I actually planned to make a part two, especially since it's National Poetry Month, but it got a bit away from me so I'm taking this opportunity to just ramble (godspeed to whoever reads this):

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver is one of the most Carlos-coded poems you'll ever have the pleasure of reading. Or maybe it's not, but after using it as basically a thesis for tender eyes that shine, I've decided that it was written for him. Especially:

You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

Hello?? That's Carlos Tomás Reyes in his purest form!

Oh TK, our hopeless romantic self deprecating boy. I think I'm going to give him Molly Brodak by Molly Brodak, one of my favorite poems that makes me want to burst into tears each and every time I read it. When I think of him, I specifically think of the ending, but I think the whole thing could ring true to him:

I am a good man. The amount of fear I am ok with is insane. I love many people who don't love me. I don't actually know if that is true. This is love. It is a mass of ice melting. I can't hold it and I have nowhere to put it down.

Nancy is absolutely getting Aileen Wuornos Takes A Lover Home by Olivia Gatwood because it's one of my favorites and Nancy's one of my favorites, it only makes sense! I think the ending would really get to her in a way she didn't expect, and I don't blame her, because this is the ending:

In a phone call tapped by police, Aileen called Tyria her right arm, her left arm, her breath, how all Tyria could say back was Please tell them, please say it out loud. But Aileen didn’t want to talk about it. She wanted to talk about love. So Tyria would hang up, unsuccessful, and the officer would tell her to Say it like this, tell her she’ll get off, tell her it won’t be so bad. But how, each time, for three days straight, the police listened to Aileen talk about love. About her right arm. Her left arm. Her breath. Her breath. Her breath.

Actually going to tag @sznofthesticks because I feel like you would love this poem as well, and you'll agree that Nancy would love it too.

This is cheating but this song is so poetic I'm going to call it a poem. Owen would listen to You Are Your Mother's Child by Conor Oberst and he would want to sob but then he'd get cry lines. I think the whole thing is so Owen-coded but this part especially:

Out on the diamond, and you're up to bat Chewing your Big League, adjusting your hat Taking a swing and hearing it crack Look at that apple fly Tears will dry if you give them time Life's a roller coaster, keep your arms inside Fear, that's a big emotion But you are your mother's child And she'll have you for a while But someday, you'll be grown Then you'll be on your own

You could tell me Judd wrote I Am Offering this Poem under the pseudonym Jimmy Santiago Baca and I'd believe you. I'd believe he wrote while looking at Grace when she wasn't even looking at him because it has Judd all over it like:

Keep it, treasure this as you would if you were lost, needing direction, in the wilderness life becomes when mature; and in the corner of your drawer, tucked away like a cabin or hogan in dense trees, come knocking, and I will answer, give you directions, and let you warm yourself by this fire, rest by this fire, and make you feel safe I love you,

That's Judd!

Tommy would adore Every Job Has A First Day by Rebecca Gayle Howell. There's a cozy feeling to it, but the final words hold such a heavy weight that I think Tommy would appreciate and carry with her:

I listened as he taught me to relax the hand just enough. They can smell, he said, the oils our pores release when we tense to catch. You have to believe it, he said. You don’t mean any harm.

Speaking of Rebecca's, Marjan is giving me You Are the Penultimate Love of My Life by Rebecca Hazelton vibes in the best way. Maybe it's the romanticizing of something that has an inevitable ending but I feel like this would be Marjan's approach to a break-up, especially this part:

The garden you plant and I plant is tunneled through by voles, the vowels we speak aren’t vows, but there’s something holding me here, for now,

I feel like Paul, like me, would love the work of Cameron Awkward Rich, but specifically The Child Formerly Known As____ and even more specifically, the ending:

& in the end, isn’t that what we all want? To not feel so split? To carry an image of ourselves inside ourselves & know exactly what we mean when we say I— . I— . I— ?

I think Mate would love getting the chance to read Prayer for Werewolves by Stephanie Burt because I think he would see so much of himself in it. Stumbling and tumbling trying to find himself somewhere and eventually finding the place where he belongs. I also feel like he loves the supernatural and the first part of this poem would feel like a gut punch:

Someone will probably love you for who you are. If not, you’ll still find friends, friends who, given time, or given warning, will probably gather around you, hold your hands, and wrap you in soft coats and blankets till the violence inside your body ends.

Finally, my beloved Grace, is things i want to ask you by Helga Flores because I feel like the poem is just a list of things running through Grace's mind when she only knew Judd by voice, but that first one in particular:

i want to ask you what god feels like.

You've reached the end of my exhaustive essay that would probably keep going if I didn't reign myself in. I hope you liked these, they're some of my favorites <3

#“i can't hold it and i have nowhere to put it down” will never not make me short circuit UGH!#anyways this was such an amazing question thank you so much for asking it! <3 #do you have a favorite poem???#asked and answered

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giggly-squiggily · 1 year

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HEADCANONS TO DRABBLES HOLY FRICK THAS AWESOME

OK sO remeber when we was talking bout kokudou (I’m 89% sure thas their ship name but djfjsjf) and tk headcanons for em and one of them was like douma being confused bout these new emotions he’s feeling for the first time and he asks koku what he even loves about him

And koku says the things he loves bout him and especially how his laugh is different when it’s genuine with like “your laugh is my favorite thing” JUST EEEEEEE THEM DJFJSJFJDG is it possible for u to write a Drabble based off of that totally fine if nada I hope you have an amazing day and yeah >:D

GHOST! :D Ajkekjarkjaekjrjka I'm so ready to write this oh my goodness! These two won over my heart and soul and I'm beyond happy to write for them! I hope you're doing alright! Have a fabulous day friend! :D

“What do you like about me?” Douma asked out of the blue one afternoon.

Despite the nature of the question, Koku wasn’t surprised. Since he and the Third Upper Moon began…dating? He supposed that’s what they were doing now- the blonde had a hundred questions about it. “Does your heart go pitter patter too, Koku?” “My palms are sweaty- that’s never happened before! What about yours?” “Have you always been this handsome?”

The “What do you like me” question wasn’t new, and still- Koku answered it the way he always did.

“There’s many things about you I’m fond of.” He reached out, brushing Douma’s cheek. “Your face for one- it’s always smiling.”

“Cause you’re in my life.” Douma leaned into his palm sweetly.

“...Ehem.” Koku cleared his throat, a rare moment of fluster. “Thank you. Right- where was I? Ah, then there’s your laugh- sweet and airy.” The hand on Douma’s cheek slid down to his neck, making the other scrunch up and giggle. “It’s rather musical, don’t you agree?”

“K-Kohohohohku! Ahehahahhha!” Douma reached up to catch his wrist, his grip feather light. “Pleahhahahse, it tihihiihihckles!”

“See? Such a charming sound.” Koku let his hand slide to Douma’s shoulder, pressing his thumb against it in soothing circles. “Your laugh is my favorite thing."

“Ahehehe! Hehehehhehe, Kokuhuhuhuhuu!” Douma squirmed in conflict, unsure whether he wanted to lean away or into the older demon’s touch. “Yohohoohu’re so dehehehehehvious!”

“I’m simply answering your question, dear.” Koku let his hand drop, sliding it down until it rested against Douma’s chest. “Truly though-this is what I love the most about you.”

“...My boob?” Douma blinked. Koku sighed, shaking his head.

“Your heart, Douma.”

“Oh!” The blonde blinked. Then he smiled, something soft and warm entering his gaze. “I love yours too.”

Send me a headcanon and character(s) and I'll write a short 300-500 word dabble for it!

#headcanons to dabbles #fluff #demon slayer #tickle #tickle dabble #kokushibo #douma #upper moons #kokudouma #my HEART!!!#This is kinda cheesy but I like cheese so it works out :D

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rosekisspeach · 3 months

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TAROT READING//Taem's view on mingkey relationship

Date: 31/Jan/2024 Marker: Taem's Songs Deck of Cards: Sefirot The Spheres of Heaven Tarot (Marseille, Kabbalistic teachings, and esoteric wisdom)

Notes Upfront:

I don't ask my cards questions that I already have answers;

I don't prey on information I should not know;

I respect their personal lives and;

This is for FUN ONLY.

✦ This reading is requested by/uploaded due to the asking of reader tk (AO3). You can ask me for other tarot reading, or discuss mingkey with me on AO3/twitter/tumblr✦

The deck I use to channel taem is the sefirot spheres of heaven tarot, which is quite sophisticated more like old-fashioned grandpa who isn't into gossiping for interpretation. However, they have a sweet spot for taemini, and is willing to show me a glance of his exceptionally beautiful mind. !!Be aware we have many symbolic connotations that are a bit vague.

Let's crack the Cøde . . . . .

Base Card: King of Cups Bummie: The Tower R, Page of Wands Ming: 9 of Wonds, The World Mingkey: Devil, Temperance R Mingkey work: Sun, Knight of Wands

Although I said it earlier, I want stress again that taem has a precious mind that I think nobody but himself understands what is going on there. I will try my best to tangibilize the energies I receive so please bear with my figurative languages & word choices.

Let's start with the overall vibe. We have the King of Cups here and I can immediately see why my cards are fond of taemin. He is very grateful. He is grateful of having kibum and minho as his hyungs, co-workers, care-givers, and mentors. He is also grateful of kibum and minho just being close, because their energies (even those feisty and fighty ones) are rain drops that nourished the relationship amongst SHINee members, awakening their pride and competitiveness, and reminds them that they are alive instead of some zombies following rules and orders in the industry. They always break the facade peace and taemin learnt to appreciate their honesty & rationality. This is something mingkey has been able to do since day one. And it empowered taemin, it empowered jinki, and of couse, Jjong (the three cranes and one of them fades away) to fiercely be themselves as boldly as they could. The 91s are the glue that bonds the team together, and especially after jjong, taem began to see how much effort these hyungs have put into protecting the name SHINee, to provide safe space for console, and still, to shine as themselves. Each rain drop might seem subtle and insignificant, but together, the water flow can overcome everything ( "以柔克刚" soft is more "powerful" than the hard). In taem's mind, mingkey are people that offer him kind guidance, peace, and companionship, people he can rely on, and grow with.

But taem does not know how to express these emotions in words, and this is why he uses bodily language/facial expression to convey his gratitude. It is also why he is a big supporter of 91s. Taem believes the vitals of SHINee are very much mingkey-connected, so things get bitter if "dads" fight. I don't suggest that taem sees them as romantic couple (In fact, I often sense no-sexual/asexual energy from taem, perhaps due to his devout faith). He just really wants to make sure mingkey don't fight ugly so everyone is happy (6v6

How Taem sees Bummie:

Chaotic, self-destructive (see elaboration), hard candy, but has a heart of gold. To some extend, taem is "afraid of bummie" because although every member of SHINee pushes their limits in working and taem himself is a perfectionist when it comes to dancing, kibum, only kibum, burns like a moth to the flame. He burns because he wants the world to see who he really is. Bummie is always eager to try new things, to learn new skills, and to kill his old self over and over again. Kibum is constantly transferring, or more like metamorphosis, that reminds taemin to keep growing and becoming. However, Taem is afraid of him because these changes are what most people stay away from, but kibum enjoys being pushed to the edge and jumping over the falling tower. Nothing and nobody can stop him from his own will power, and taem respects kibum's decision, but he hopes at least there are more people appreciate and care for him. Kibum should not scream till throat hoarse just so the world accepts who he is. Kibum deserves better.

And taem adores bummie. Bummie is one of the sweetest person taemin ever knows. He enjoys life - gardening, cooking, taking care of commedes and garçons and frankly everyone he knows no matter if they are older or younger than him. Kibum can be strict because he wants the best for taem but would never get mad when taem "stole" a luxurious sweater on his birthday. Just like the hopeful young adult holding the brance of pure lotus, Kibum has a heart of of innocent child (赤子之心), and taem loves him for that. Taem can always trust him and be his true self with kibum.

Bummie is still a newborn baby~

How Taem sees Ming:

First of all, taemin respects minho a lot, but he is as critical as jjong when it comes to ming sometimes. The 9 of wands match my reading because in taemin's mind, ming is definitely a man of action and this attitude earns him great success in his career and personal life. However, there is something missing, and that shows in minho's loneliness. The lotus blooms yet all the branches turn away, emphasizing ming has taken actions to nurture his mind but he did not listen to his heart. Do you remember the crescent hanging over ming's head in my first reading (ming's take on their relationship)? I think the energy is very similar here. Taem wants to tell us that despite ming's proactive mindset, he is lying to himself and is hesitant to try out new possibilities because he gets afraid like every one else. However, it is not ming's fault and he needs time to see the clear picture.

And the world card drops again, which is ming's current objective that he has to ride the journey of growing from the loss, stepping to embrace new point of view of life, and eventually following his true heart that he reaches the reality he hopes to rebuild. Ming is desperate for love, and he cherishes shawols because being with us feels like warm home. However, remember ming keeps saying that he just wants to be loved in relationship and he will provide anything and everything. What ming really needs is faith (ת (Tav) in hebrew means "faith" & "salvation") and Taem wants ming to believe that he is loved. He deserves love. His love is returned if he believes a little more.

I will make money and do housework I only need you to love me

Mingkey Relationship + Work

They together are devils. The devils of aggression, addiction, but also achievement. The design of devil card reminded me a lot of the pic where taem stands between mingkey in MBC end year stage, observing the pair staring each other in amusement. This is what he sees (ע), this is also what we see. Their constant fights and the chemistry comes out of their love-hate relationship is undeniable, fuelling their working competitiveness but these energies can also flame them. This is why the reversed temperance dropped. They still need to work on how to solve their tensions and be "in between (not too aggressive nor passive 中庸之道)" when disagreement arises. And instead of waving the blaze, taem wants them to communicate like the pouring water (empathy, understanding, love).

!!skip this part if you only see them as platonic friends/co-workers and resume when you see exclamation mark again!!

Devil card manifests strong sexual attraction because in the traditional Rider–Waite system, devil card's design is similar to the lovers, but instead of guarding angels they are devils constraining the pair in lust and alluring desire. Since I grasp asexual energy from taem due to his religious beliefs, it is possible that taem is trying to tell us that mingkey's dynamic have some element that is not in his belief, and it is the "devil" for them. Mingkey deny to acknowledge the sexual attraction despite everyone sees it. Worse, it occasionally influences their work and group work because they have trouble resisting it, hence the reversed temperance (I will do an elaborating reading on their sexual attraction privately, if interested, talk to me on twi or tumblr)

!!resume here!!

In taem's mind, mingkey are a duo that support each others in work, and their existences fuel the other to express and achieve success. The two cranes are ming and bummie (in this reading, each member of SHINee are cranes which I think is very taemin coded, hehe) that fly around and fly upper to the higher sky, bringing warmness and sunlight to their reality. The Knight of wands say the exact same thing, mingkey's leadership, working morals, and endless ideas pushes the group to move forward, and inspire taemin in his career. Unlike Jjong, taem does not worry that much about mingkey (because he sees them like mentors, while Jjong sees them as younger-brothers), but he indeed hopes these two can achieve harmony and balance that is also beneficial for themselves and SHINee as a whole.

-over-

Feel free to chat or find me on twitter @rosekisspeach

#tarot #kpop tarot #tarot reading #minkey #mingkey #choi minho #minho #kim kibum #shinee kibum #key kibum #taemin #shinee #Spotify

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insertsaddict · 3 months

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Had an idea that I don’t think I’ll make into a full fic, so...here! Your Boyfriend Hunger Games AU! Based on what I remember of the books I read years ago...

(Game is 18+, so if you are a minor, please do not read after the cut!)

(Mentions of death, gore, and suicide—if these make you uncomfortable, please please don’t read this!)

You’ve grown up in one of the less well-off districts. You’re a bit distanced from your family, doing your best to support yourself. You’re good friends with TK, your neighbor and co-worker, and both of you express worry over the upcoming games.

Neither of you like the Games. And obviously, neither one of you wants to be chosen. The thought of it makes you shake, but TK does their best to reassure you each time. The odds of either of you getting chosen have to be low, right? Even if you put your name in a few extra times to get rations, surely it hasn’t been that many, has it?

...but of course, on the Reaping, whose name is pulled first but yours?

It’s a crushing blow to you. You’re not a fighter or a killer. This is a death sentence for you. When you take your place on the stage, you just feel numb.

You see TK’s distraught expression. But you don’t see another face in the crowd, someone just as stunned and horrified as you feel, too late to act to take your place.

They move back to the jar (everyone’s name is in one jar, they just pick two people of any gender to send or something), to draw the second name. Your fate is sealed.

Suddenly, someone else in the crowd volunteers. Murmurs travel throughout as they weave their way through, standing on the stage next to you. They can’t take your place (too late for that), but they’ve taken the second spot.

You look up to see grey skin, a blue shirt, and black hoodie, and blue eyes looking into yours with a range of emotions. Sadness, guilt...determination. They’re not familiar to you, but you know who’s standing in front of you.

Most people know of Peter, even you. You’ve seen him around town a bit, but all you know is that he grew up in a Career district, but moved into your district a few years back. You’ve heard rumors that he mostly moved to get away from his family.

No one besides him knows the full reason he moved, of course. And of course, he knows you very well.

Many don’t bat an eye at his sudden volunteering—he grew up in a Career district, after all. But you feel like maybe...there’s something more than that behind his actions.

Especially when he keeps gazing at you intensely.

You say tearful goodbyes to TK and your family. No one is there to visit Peter, but he doesn’t seem at all bothered by it. Eventually, the two of you are ushered onto the train to the Capitol...and you’re left alone.

You try to strike up a conversation with Peter. He flinches when you say his name, looking for a second like he swallowed a lemon.

“I don’t like my name,” he’ll admit. “I’d honestly prefer if you called me by a nickname or something.”

You come up with something on the spot—YB. From then on, that nickname is how he’ll introduce himself to everyone. And if anyone calls him “Peter”, he quickly corrects them.

You’re both introduced to Don, a gruff past Victor. He looks you over and mostly gives advice on how to avoid trouble, and how to outlive everyone else through sheer survival skills.

He looks over YB...and simply regards him coolly. The two of them stare at each other, long enough that you start to feel a little uncomfortable.

Later, Don will warn you that he gets a bad vibe from YB. Whether you trust his word or not is up to you, put...YB is very kind to you. Nervous, but kind, and willing to teach you some skills for survival.

Eventually, the two of you are in the arena. You grab what supplies you can and run from the action, not knowing that someone else is following your every move, always staying just far enough away that you don’t notice them.

Night falls, and as far as you can tell, you’re far away from anyone else. Safe for now, except...you swear you keep feeling someone watching you. You scan the forest over and over, but as far as you can see, no one’s there.

But you still feel eyes on you. Watching, unblinking...

YB knows you so well that he can avoid your gaze just before you look in his direction. Even when you’re being so clever, even checking the branches above you! He admires that.

But there comes a point where you can’t keep your eyes open, when you end up passing out from exhaustion with your back against the tree trunk. YB slowly creeps forward, and many viewers wait with bated breath, watching as they’re sure he’s about to strike...!

And he simply leans against the tree beside you, keeping one hand on the hilt of his knife. He switches constantly between scanning the forest suspiciously and watching you adoringly.

No one watching is quite sure what to make of it. The Gamemakers linger on the two of you for quite some time, not sure whether something is going to happen or not. The bad vibe Don got from YB comes back with full force, but all he can do is grit his teeth and wish he had some way to tell you about the danger lurking beside you. No donations have come in yet.

This process repeats for the next few days and nights. You do your best to survive, avoid everyone else, and wait up each night before exhaustion takes over. All while unaware of your living shadow.

People have started to theorize about what YB is up to. Is he just there to mooch off your supplies? Is he unhinged and waiting for the perfect moment to strike? Is he looking for an alliance, but too nervous to fully approach you?

And then someone tries to attack you in your sleep.

YB had hidden in the shadows when he heard their footsteps approaching. You barely even stirred in your slumber. They found you in your makeshift camp, glanced between you and your supplies...and slowly raised a bow, aiming to quietly take you out.

They don’t even manage to grab an arrow before a knife is driven into their back.

Viewers are stunned, horrified...amazed at what follows. It’s one of the bloodiest kills in the Game yet, stab after stab, yet so silent that you don’t even wake up. All anyone can do is watched as words and symbols are carved into the cadaver.

When you wake up in the morning, your eyes land on a corpse...and the message carved into their chest.

You’re safe with me, Darling. It’s surrounded by hearts. Like a love letter.

Naturally, you scream and flee from the area.

You spend the next few days trying to flee from whoever left you that message, but you can still feel eyes on you. YB’s never far behind. At some point or another, you might actually spot him and talk to him...

Do you realize he’s the person you’re afraid of? Do you team up with him, or run faster, trying to get away?

There are honestly quite a few ways this could end. Most of them tragically.

If you’re killed at any point during the Games, YB will immediately go on a rampage of revenge. He’ll keep your corpse on him at all times, refusing to surrender it and fighting off anyone who tries to take you away from him. Even the drones the Gamemakers send don’t stand a chance against his fury.

Once he’s the only one left, he won’t allow himself to be crowned the victor. But he’s not going to allow the two of you to be separated, like they’ll surely do once they come to recover his body.

Jumping off the cliff, into a raging river is deemed poetic and a worthy way of joining you, in his eyes...

On the other hand, if it’s just the two of you left...he won’t ever bring himself to harm you. Not for something as petty and unimportant as being Victor.

If you decide to strike at him, he won’t fight back. If you can’t bring yourself to kill him, he’ll take nightlock berries and go peacefully to let you be the winner. Either way, he’ll confess his love to you before dying.

There is a chance you can convince him to take part in the same trick Peeta and Katniss pulled off during their games, where they both threatened to swallow nightlock. Whether it’s an act of rebellion or love on your part, or a lie or trick to get YB to off himself, he’ll agree at once.

And just like in the books, the two of you will quickly be stopped and both declared the Victors before you can actually pull it off.

#your boyfriend #your boyfriend game #yb x reader #my writing #hunger games au

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reyesstrand · 11 months

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top tarlos scenes

thanks for the breakdown @rosedavid @alrightbuckaroo @strandnreyes @fitzherbertssmolder <3 this was fully the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do and i’m sure i’ll remember one later i would’ve wanted here and i 1000% cheated during this but :-) here we go, in no particular order:

2x04: “i don’t care, okay? as long as you need”

i was going to start of with the police station scene (which got me to watch the show) or the 1x10 firehouse hug, but this scene still feels so important. nevermind the fact that there were sooo many emotions going into this episode after the “are we breaking up?” promo, this scene is one that proves that although they’ve come so far in their communication skills, the foundation of love and support has been there since the beginning. i love tk not apologizing for his little bitch outburst because deep down he does want everyone to know he’s carlos’ boyfriend, and i love him adding that while he isn’t sorry, he does need to acknowledge safety in relationships and how carlos’ experience differs from his own. i also love that this showed tk not caring how long it might take for carlos to be comfortable, while also telling him nothing stays the same (and essentially becoming the catalyst for carlos to bring these different facets of his life together, and for him to live authentically with everyone. tk becoming the KEY THAT UNLOCKED CARLOS so early on, especially given the context of s4, is so good).

3x04: breathe, breathe, breathe

everyone includes push and you know what….it’s what she deserves. this culmination of a weeks-long arc that was done so beautifully it felt monumental, and seeing the way they choose each other and choose love, seeing the way they fight for each other, seeing the way tk literally is moments out of having a breathing tube down his throat and is telling carlos to breathe, seeing the way carlos just collapses on tk and tk holds him close….insane. beautiful. them coming home and celebrating with the rest of the 126 at the push-in ceremony too is just the cherry on top of a stunning episode.

3x05/4x18: middle of the night comfort

i’m putting them together because i can’t choose and nobody can make me. just these two instances of tk seeking carlos out in the middle of the night in such different contexts makes my heart ache. the fact that carlos is instantly comforted by tk’s presence both times. the fact that tk can pass out on carlos’ arm and snuggle up with him while he solves a kidnapping case. the fact that carlos doesn’t even need to say the words about postponing the wedding and tk reassures him and promises he’s not going anywhere. so so so good. (going to put my honourable mention(s) here of just….every little moment of love that speaks the loudest—them touching and showing small acts of intimacy and domesticity—because they mean the world).

3x13: all of it…but specifically the dinner scene and the photo album scene

this whole episode is one i could rewatch a hundred times and cry every time. it’s so beautifully written and acted and you feel each character have an oh moment (carlos’ regarding his place in tk’s recovery and how it doesn’t change his value, and tk’s regarding his personal knowledge he’s going to marry this man) which i love. the dinner scene is one of the most pivotal to their relationship, and coupled with the photo album scene, their vulnerabilities and enduring love for each other get to come out and be explored. this episode truly puts into perspective how the vows they speak nearly a full season later are just verbalizations of how they’ve cared for and loved each other all along.

4x02/4x16: soulmateism

both of these scenes (4x02’s “probably the day i met you” and 4x16’s “hi, you’re tk, i’m carlos, and we’re soulmates”) changed the trajectory of my life. i wish i was kissing. i still do double-takes when i see gifs, like….we actually got these? they said these things to each other? “dude”? not one but two uses of “baby” from carlos? the way they’ve saved each other and had these big feelings since the very beginning? the way both scenes confirm things about their pasts and the bits we didn’t see if their early relationship and proving that tk only ran because he was feeling these big things, same as carlos, and was terrified? the way carlos uses jokes at bad times as a coping mechanism before he literally spits some heartfelt poetic lines? these scenes truly function as a pair in my heart and i can’t choose between them so!

honourable mentions: proposal(s), the entirety of the wedding including cut scenes, carlos bringing home lou 2, 4x04 with tk working with gabriel to save carlos and using narcan on him and carlos telling trudy gwyn’s love flows through him, and 3x08 with carlos’ first on-screen i love you/going to get them some food (FOOD AS A LOVE LANGUAGE!!)/the tarmac hug

no pressure tagging @carlos-in-glasses @rmd-writes @welcometololaland @paperstorm @chaotictarlos @marjansmarwani @morganaspendragonss @lutavero @sunshinestrand @unstatedmartini

#tag games #the way i wrote up like five versions of this and just had to hit post and run bc i’d dwell on it forever if i could

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ask-serendipity-sky · 11 months

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I know that many pple look out for sweet, flirty and loud Jikook moments to be able to determine if they are together or not but i somehow always looked for the not so sweet moments! The moments when the air was thick with tension and when it was clear that something wasn’t right with them. Why? Because to me, that was what really set Jikook apart from the rest of the ships in BTS. Taekook had/have very sweet beautiful moments and it’s really easy to just sit there watching their moments for hours just feeling this sweetness in your tummy but that is what made me 100% sure TK were just friends. With Jikook moments, i cannot tell you how many times i cried watching some of their moments, their history and the whole push and pull phase. Their dynamic is complicated and doesn’t fit into the mold of a ship. Jikook are confusing as hell and there were certain moments i almost pulled my hair out trying to figure them out. I was trynna look at them through the lens of fiction and rom coms where everything is sweet and honey. But when i took a step back and applied reality, real life relationships, real life struggle and simple human strengths and weaknesses, thats when I understood.

There is a reason why some parts of the fandom believe Jikook don’t like e/o. Except Taekookers who are spuns of the devil themselves and will do anything to invalidate Jikook’s bond, there are some other Army, including non shippers who genuinely think Jikook don’t really like e/o, hence their relationship is all fanservice. Now why do they think so? Now depending on the day and specific content u come accross, jikook could either look like sworn enemies or two pple who love each other to death and are ready to tear each other’s clothes off. Imagine you seeing a compilation of Jk ignoring Jimin or Jimin pushing Jk off him (probably in their petty moments or couple fight moments) when u see stuff like that more than a few times, it kinda gives you an impression of their bond and sadly not a very good one. Non shippers will have no other way to explain this, other than, they may not really be fund of each other so when u see them being nice and sweet to each other or being flirty, you automatically assume it is FS. It takes someone who biases Jimin, Jk or both and who cares about their bond to want to dig a little deeper to understand their dynamic and see it for what it truely is. Pple who don’t care enough will take certain things at face value and form certain opinions. Have u ever wondered why Jikook’s bond is the most hated and ignored in the fandom? It’s not just because half the fandom are tkkrs, it is also because Jikook’s dynamic is COMPLICATED as hell and it tends to stir up different emotions in different pple! Also sometimes they interactions make pple uncomfortable cuz they seem too real and pple (especially homophobic fans) don’t want to deal with it. All other BTS duo dynamics in my opinion are easy to understand. But Jikook, not so much especially when you are a non shipper or are a shipper but don’t really have alot of real life relationship experiences. This aspect of Jikook is what set them aside for me. Like I mentioned, immediately i started using a more realistic approach, understanding that humans are complex beings and not some cartoon characters with assigned roles, when I realized that relationships have their up and downs and also considered the fact that these boys are NOT in a NORMAL dating situation, it all started making sense to me. Instead of thinking Jk hates Jimin because he avoided skinship with him at a certain moment, I thought he probably wasn’t very comfortable with the place and time and was also probably flustered and didn’t know how to handle things when he wasn’t in control. Instead of thinking Jikook don’t like e/o cuz they weren’t smiling at e/o, I thought oh, they might be fighting or going through something in their relationship which is perfectly normal. To the onlookers who have no idea what goes on behind the cameras, it’s so easy to misunderstand certain actions or gestures but when u remember the fact that u also get mad at ur partner and you sometimes go days without talking to each other or even break up or takes breaks from your relationship, then it’s easier to relate to Jikook.

Why did i decide to write all this? For those who get insecure at certain points when Jikook don’t look very pleased with e/o or when they didn’t do something you expect a couple would do. Always remind yourselves that these are human beings and they do go through rough patches in their relationships. Personally, i am 101% sure Jikook are/were not just platonic friends or bros. Are they still together now? I can’t tell for sure but the only way they are not together is not cuz we read things all wrong and they were never together, it is probably because they broke up (God Forbid).

And like i said, there is no way in hell Taekook are together or have ever been! Why? No romantic relationship is that perfect! TK said they had never fought with e/o. In 10 years, they NEVER had an argument with e/o? And you think they are dating each other? 😂😂😂. Not saying that couples have to fight or argue with e/o all the time but inorder to argue with someone you love and care about, there has to be an emotional connection, there has to be feelings to hurt or reasons to disagree! No offense but knowing that TK never argued with e/o just confirmed what I thought about them not having any emotional connection. What were they going to argue about? Games? I’m sure they are much closer now but b4, there definitely wasn’t an emotional connection with those two.

Hello,

Ah anon, your thoughts are so good and I agree.

Jikook is not a ship like the other ships. Thinking in terms of rough patches, the other ships in BTS don't have the ups and downs for years or random petty little moments the way Jikook does. The other ships follow friendship patterns. You get close to a friend, then get distant, and maybe get close again. Taekook too but try explaining that to them.

Some of the bad Jikook moments are enough to make you cry, yes. Like how I feel with the Vegas concerts -_-. There is this blog around here that swears Jungkook hates Jimin because of those concerts and I understand that, honestly. Like you said, people's view on Jikook will depend on the day and specific content they come across that day. Some of us stick around when we see the rough patches and see that there is resolution because we care for them both as individuals and as a couple. Other people don't.

I was discussing this with a fellow Jikooker and she was saying that my way of thinking is flawed because no couple comes back together the way I say Jikook does. But I've witnessed it many times. Stepping back and readjusting the lens you view them with will help you understand their dynamic better.

Anon, I really can't imagine all of us being this delusional where we have imagined all the stuff Jungkook and Jimin have done. All that stuff is real and I would question my brain for the rest of my life if they really were never anything. Then I would move on because I'm not going to live my life visiting Jikook land forever like the fans from One Direction lol

But yes, let's not forget they are human beings and not characters from a "novela", which is the Spanish equivalent of a kdrama but with 1000 times more drama, sex, and romance. Life doesn't work like that. People are ever changing and relationships too.

Anyway, I appreciate your ask.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

#jikook #kookmin #jimin #jungkook #asks

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redheadgleek · 3 months

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January 2024 books!

I had some vacation this month. I also had an entire week when I was stuck at home without internet due to the ice storm. So I read a lot, mostly very light, fluffy comfort read books.

What I read:

Nine Goblins by T. Kingfisher. A novella about war as experienced by goblins. As usual from a TK book, a little gory, a lot witty, with some fun characters.

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. I've read so little of Neil Gaiman's books and I really enjoyed this one. I thought it was quite inventive and I liked how the passing of time was framed.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry. It's an odd experience reading a book written by a person who has died. He had a lot of mental health problems, and I'm so sad that the medical world failed him so much.

All Systems Red by Martha Wells (audiobook). I read the novella last year and have been wanting to read the whole series, but I had already forgotten details, hence the audiobook. It was a great way of seeing things through Murderbot's eyes. I just got the next book from the library, so that will be my next listen, I think.

Miss Buncle's Book by D.E. Stevenson. A very charming book about a woman who scandalized her hometown by writing a book about them. Reminded me a lot of L.M. Montgomery's short stories.

Lord of the Butterflies by Andrea Gibson. A book of poetry exploring love and family and gender. So much emotion packed into every poem. Truly lovely.

The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett. I've also not read much of Sir Terry's and everybody has recommended the Tiffany Aching series. It was a lot of fun and had some very unique characters.

Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros. This is not high fantasy, but when the frozen world was coming down around me, this was exactly the kind of escape fiction I needed.

Weyward by Emilia Hart. Three stories woven into one about generations of women who are witches. There wasn't anything that really unique about the book, but it had great atmosphere.

An Unexpected Twist by Andy Borowitz. Not sure I should really count an 18 page essay as a book, but I enjoyed this perspective of the medical system from somebody experiencing complications.

Thank You for Listening by Julia Whelan. Okay, it mostly stretched credibility, but I enjoyed the banter between the love interests. And I especially liked the way the MC was dealing with her grandmother's dementia.

Georgie, All Along by Kate Clayborn. I enjoyed this one. I appreciated that while it was a "going home to the small town" trope, it also didn't paint that as solving all of the problems.

Upstream: Selected Essays by Mary Oliver. I started reading this last year and it took me to finish. Some of the essays were gorgeous, some felt unfinished, and others felt like book reports.

The Kiss Quotient by Helen Huang. I nearly DNF at 90% because I was so mad at the "chivalrous" macho possessive behavior of the male character. There was a lot of gender roles and conformity and casual (and not so casual) sexism throughout. Oh the other hand, the sex was plenty and pretty well described.

What I'm currently reading:

Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr. My sister recommended this. I'm about half way through and it's a tale interweaving people from the past and the future. It's at a point where it feels like bad things are going to start happening, so I'm a touch anxious, but it's been excellent so far.

Poverty. by America by Matthew Desmond (audiobook). I'm an hour in and it's utterly horrifying and gutting.

A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson. It's a 20 year old book at this time and needs an update, but it certainly makes science understandable.

The Six: The Untold Story of America's First Women Astronauts by Loren Grush.

The Summer Tree by Guy Gavriel Key. I remember reading this in high school and really liking it (while also feeling dirty because there was some swearing and a sex scene in it). This time though? It's obvious he's channeling Tolkien, the writing is painfully stilted and the premise is weak and I've found out that it's a sort of King Arthur retelling, so I'm just not sure about it.

What I plan on reading next:

Emily Wilde's Map of the Underworld, Tom Lake (audiobook), and The Starless Sea are next on my list, I think.

#books #bookblr #RHG reads #reading #www wednesday

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carlos-in-glasses · 4 months

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Hi CIG!!!!

Happy Nice Ass(k) week to you!!!

I have to ask- how long did it take you to write your “where all this love comes from” fic? Did you write a chapter at a time or multiples? (I’m trying not tk nerd out too badly and be sobbing and ask how is one person able to write this well, it’s like magic”

For season one of LS, you could add one thing/scene that you think should have been included- what would it be??

Are there any episodes of TV shows that are like comfort episodes- you just throw them on and it makes you feel better?

Are there any foods that are really popular you just cannot get behind??

Hello! ❤️ Thank you for this question and for being so amazing about Where All This Love Comes From! I started writing it in March (fun fact: from March until the week before I started posting in November, it was called Blue Moon!) and the plot was very different...Gabriel needed to be alive after the wedding for it to work, so it was panic-stations when I realised they were going to smoke him! But before that happened, I also started writing When Soulmates Swim in March, which totally consumed me. By the time I picked up Blue Moon again, Gabriel had been killed off - so I had to come up with a way to salvage what I could. I considered making it an AU and have him alive, but somehow that made me even sadder, so I stayed with canon and worked through my ~*emotions*~. The fic, as it is now, was dreamed up and written between mid-May and late-August, and contains about 20k worth of the writing from March. I did a massive edit through September and October, where I broke up big chunks of writing into chapters (some chapters were already self-contained, but for example chapters 6 and 7 were one large piece). Every week I do line edits for the upcoming chapter, and sometimes I write more into them. In that sense it’s still a WIP and it won’t be fully posted until February, so will have been an ongoing project for almost a year!

There's a lot I'd love to have seen in season 1 that we didn't, but if I could only pick one thing: An extra scene in which TK is dealing with his recovery. Maybe an N.A. meeting that Owen goes to with him, or somewhere where he opens up to Carlos a bit more about it. Ideally when they’re lying in bed together.

Comfort episodes of TV shows (outside of Lone Star): Any episode of Gavin and Stacey but especially when they all order a curry; there are episodes of Sex and the City I love – Carrie getting broken up with via a Post-It; I grew up watching Only Fools and Horses endlessly. The episode where Rodney gets married is genius.

A popular food I can’t get behind is ice cream. Or anything very richly creamy. I understand it’s a nice taste and sensation on a hot day but the tummy ache is unbearable. I haven’t eaten ice cream for about seventeen years.

#ask #cig answers #nice ask week #Where All This Love Comes From

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liminalmemories21 · 4 months

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Hi lim! 33, 34, 35 please and thank you!

Thank you!

33. What was your biggest writing struggle this year?

I had two big struggles this year. One was with the S4 Interstitials and finding a character grounded way to integrate some of the S4 plot with what we already knew of the characters - and then with giving a voice to Carlos's relationship with his family, especially with his sisters.

The second was finding the emotional center of Knave 3, and then finding the narrative flow of the story so that the first half and the second half didn't feel disjointed and like they were actually two different stories smooshed together inelegantly. I think part of my problem was I went into the story with a definite idea of what I wanted to do with it, rather than letting the story itself guide me.

34. What's the weirdest thing you researched for a fic?

Listen, I looked up so much stuff about Austin this year that google thinks I'm moving there. I have looked up city zoning maps, and the drainage basin of the Colorado river, and the geography of the greater Austin area to figure out where the Reyes ranch might possible be located.

I've also done a lot of googling of 'where is this famous painting actually located' so I can send TK to the right cities in Knave-verse, and I have perused the online Met archives for hours to figure out what art TK would have grown up seeing in New York.

35. What words of advice do you have for yourself and other writers?

For myself - Don't make an argument in advance of my conclusion. Which is to say, figure out what the story is about after I've written the draft and edit accordingly, don't try and shove a story into a predetermined frame.

For other writers - Don't be afraid to put words down on the page. They don't have to be perfect - you can always edit - you just need to get them down. You might delete all of them, you might edit them beyond recognition - but once they're on the page it's something you can work with. My first drafts look nothing like my final drafts, but I can't get to a final draft until I have a first draft.

Fanfic Writer End of Year Ask Game

#asked and answered #writing meta #this is the last working day of the year for my employer #nothing is happening today #until an inexplicable 3:30pm meeting (why?)#I have stock simmering on the stove #and editing Bus Driver AU on my schedule #ask me things

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dearweirdme · 5 months

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i’m sending this to a few tk blogs bc i’d like multiple people’s perspectives…

im a taekooker but i rlly have these moments where i think we all must just be deluded (jkkers, tkkers, other shippers etc) bc everyone believes SO strongly that their ship is right and we all feel like we can back it up w “evidence”. jikookers genuinely see something btwn jm and jk and us taekookers genuinely see something between v and jk. i do feel like taekook makes the most sense logically (especially during the solo era) and i feel like i did a lot of research to come to that conclusion (including watching videos on a lot of other pairings like jikook), but i could rlly just have underlying biases that are making me see things between tk that my brain wants to see. to other shippers and fans tkkers r insane, to tkkers others r insane. so honestly aren’t we probably all insane lol ? ik it’s POSSIBLE that tk are together but it just seems so improbable. i often try to talk myself out of taekook bc like rly what r the chances of two members in the biggest band in the word actually secretly dating for like many years ? and they’ve been able to successfully hide it all this time ? and we believe they still are together ? idk it sounds too good/far-fetched to be true and like i can’t imagine a day coming way later on down the line where it would actually be confirmed or like super super obvious even without confirmation. but i can totally imagine a day where it comes out that jk is officially dating some girl or something like that and then we’d all be proven wrong. ik that leans into assuming heterosexuality is the default which is not good and i don’t believe that but i can’t help but to feel like nah we’re all just delusional and fantasizing and tk r not together. i do definitely believe v is queer in some way but maybe that’s all.

Hi anon!

I think it's important to realize that it's okay to not actually believe in Tae and Jk being together (or any ship for that matter). Them being together or not does not actually effect your own life. So if you're in a state of "well, I definitely see some stuff going on, but I have no clue what it is exactly" that's totally fine. Uncertainty isn't a bad thing, you just have to be able to cope with it in a healthy way. Sometimes uncertain shippers do not know how to cope with the uncertainty very well, those are the ones who scrutinize every detail of every moment we get.. trying to find proof. I get it, but it's not the way to go, because that uncertainty will always return and you'll end up in a loop with no end. I think there's people that get actual anxiety because of this at times.

I know to non-shippers we (and other shippers) must all look insane. I don't think we actually are. Even though there are insane-ish tkkrs out there, that doesn't mean there can't be some truth to it as well. When you look around on twitter, youtube, instagram, Tumblr, you find all sorts of different Tkkrs. While we all fall under the term 'Taekooker' i'd say there's many different categories, which very different outlooks on the situation. For instance, technically I'd rather call myself a Taekook believer, while I suppose you are an actual shipper. There's also those that believe, but do not ship.

I'll tell you my reasons for not thinking I'm insane (😂😂). This sounds super stupid and arrogant (and I'm actually cringing while typing this up)... but I consider myself smart and insightfull. Have been all my life, and others have also told me they think of me the same. Basically, I trust my instincts and judgement. I've gone through life experiencing many different feelings, emotions, situations.. and I feel I just understand life and people. When it comes to Tae and Jk, I don't need all the overanalyzed stuff. I just see the way they look at each other and the way they interact and I feel I recognize romantic love there. I understand why it must seem 'too good to be true', but is it really? People so often fall in love with people they are in close proximity to. Coworkers falling in love isn't odd, best friends falling in love isn't odd, celebrities falling in love isn't odd... so why would Tae and Jk be the exception? It isn't even weird for two members in the same band to fall in love or be married... it is just odd to see two members of a K-pop band in love... but is the reason that it doesn't happen, or that it isn't made public?

When you look at celebrities that have come out, you will very often see that they as well have kept it a secret for many years. Idols are expected to keep their relationships hidden anyway, so for Tae and Jk this isn't very much different in that aspect, only there's an added reason. I don't think Namjoon, Jimin, Yoongi, Hobi, and Jin have been single the last ten years.. and we know nothing of their relationships either.

I don't think their relationship has been easy and I expect there have probably been many difficulties along the way. But when I see how they are together this year.. I definitely think their love was stronger than the things that got thrown in their way.

I think it's good to be sceptical. I try to be as well.

#taekook #fandom shenanigans

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