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#the thing is it's just a bit mindboggling to me how i know all this and yet
thedreadvampy · 2 years
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sorry guys it's a traumadump time
#the thing is it's just a bit mindboggling to me how i know all this and yet#i was running scared from doing anything about blanket contraceptives until i was nearly 30#bc like. i started obsessively using condoms only after my abortion#bc. it's terrifying to try and every control over the sex you're having when you're used to the answer being no#like. i did not want to ask and be refused i wanted to keep pretending i was in control#when the truth is the majority of the time i wasn't#but if i just didn't look at how in control i wasn't. if i didn't ask for it to stop and i didn't ask to change anything.#i didn't have to know that someone didn't care whether i was ok. so i just didn't ask. for them to stop hurting me or to use condoms.#but getting pregnant was so horrific for me that demanding condom use became less scary than the alternative#still got pregnant 3 more times i think but my body dealt with it so it's ok#but like. the last time i got raped. like the time that made me put my foot down and say something has to change#and seek help and get therapy and deal with my trauma#like it only BECAME undeniable rape instead of grudging consent to unwanted sex when i said 'i don't have unprotected sex'#'if you have to have sex with me put on a fucking condom' and he didn't so i tried to prevent him so he physically forced me#and that's the fear coming true right? That's the REASON i hadn't wanted to ask before my abortion. that making that hard line in the sand#doesn't protect you it just makes the other person go mask off and hurt you more#SO TELL ME WHY#IT TOOK ANOTHER 4 YEARS AFTER THAT FOR ME TO ACTUALLY START WORKING TOWARDS ACCESSING HORMONAL CONTRACEPTION#this is also why it's so fucking upsetting that the implant really fucked up my periods so i was bleeding constantly#bc i finally acted only to find it wasn't a sustainable solution#right now I'm taking the Pill plus the implant to try and resettle my period#but tbh if it doesn't work after being on the pill temporarily i might just keep taking the pill#doctor said it's a good solution bc the pill manages the period disruption but the implant provides backup if you miss a day#red said
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beautifulfuckup99 · 7 months
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First , Your writing and storylines are PERFECT
Keep them coming cause i wait for your updates girl🌶️😍😍😍
Can we have JK in a secret relationship with a foreign reader who travelled to Korea to spend a limited tome with him. But we all know JK, he was on live and somehow forgets to close it and they statt making out in the back ,leading to them going public of course🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭. Smut Smut Smut and spice😍✌️🌶️
The tears I just shed are so REAL lol. You warmed my heart, Girl. Thank you so much.
Title: With You.
Warning(s): SMUT, H8 Comments, and Hurt/Comfort
Author's Note: This is just full of JK being a walking green flag cause honestly, he gives me Golden Retriever!bf energy lol.
**********************************
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"Honey, I'm home!" Jungkook calls playfully as he walks into the apartment with a bright smile plastered om his face. "I love saying that..." He laughs as you smile softly at his childish ways. You stretch out more before going back to relaxing on the couch. After being approved by the big suits, you found yourself on the first flight to Korea to finally spend some much-desired time with your boyfriend of one year.
You never saw yourself dating someone like Jungkook, and that wasn't a bad thing, it's just that you never expected someone like him to want someone like you. And it wasn't just because he was an idol either. He was just so... Amazing. And he was yours? It was mindboggling.
"How was the shoot today?" You ask as you set your phone down. Jungkook had been upset having to leave you behind this morning to do a photoshoot for Vogue magazine, but you'd both agreed to keeping your relationship under wraps and you being there for his photoshoot would've raised some eyebrows...
"Fun. I guess." He shrugs before basically crashing on top of you, making you laugh out. "Mm... I'm glad to be home though. With you..." He smiles as he snuggles into your chest, making you blush and wrap your arms around his bigger frame.
"You act like such a baby..." You tease and he smirks up at you.
"You like it." He declares playfully before pecking your lips repeatedly, making you laugh again and push him away a bit.
"Oh! I ordered us some food from that new restaurant downtown. I kind of went... overboard?" He clarifies to make sure he was using the word right, making you smile and nod. "Good. Overboard." He says sheepishly as he goes back to resting on you. You hum as you play with his hair lazily while he shuts his eyes, always fond of your affection.
"Maybe you should show it off to ARMY." You suggest. Unbeknownst to Jungkook, you'd been all over Twitter this morning and had stumbled upon a post from a fan account that basically talked about how much fans missed Jungkook's lives. You took responsibility for that, honestly. Jungkook had told you up front once that he used his lives with ARMY to feel relaxed but talking to you had become the new source of peace for him. You felt bad. It was a two-way deal, really. Jungkook and ARMY both needed each other, and you didn't feel right standing in the way of that. Even though your boyfriend would tell you that you're not.
"A live? But you're here, I don't want you feeling left out." He says and your heart melts.
"Of course I won't. I'll be watching from the other room, baby. Come on." You encourage and he hums slowly.
"Fine. But only for a bit." He nods certainly and you smile excitedly.
********************************************
"Fuck..." Jungkook breathes out between heavy pants and your eyes are glued to the screen as you watch your boyfriend show off his new trick of one arm push-ups. You blink a bit, impressed that you hadn't ran to his gym area yet to jump his bones. You've got some great self-control, that's for sure.
"More? I did so much!" He complains as he reads the comments while pushing back his messy hair and you wanna laugh. These girls knew exactly what they were doing. "I'm tired, ARMY. I ate, I worked out. And now... I must go." He says in a playfully dramatic way that makes you smile. You get up and tip toe to the gym door from where you sat on the couch.
Jungkook is in the middle of exiting out of his livestream when you tap on the door, getting his full attention instantly. He gets up and walks over as ARMY starts commenting what's going on and why he hasn't stopped streaming.
"Hey. All done?" You ask excitedly and he nods fast while smiling.
"That was fun. ARMY was funny tonight." He chuckles as you hum and move closer to him.
"And you were adorable and sexy at the same time." You smirk, causing him to chuckle bashfully. You hum and grab the edge of his shirt to pull him closer, giving him that look.
"Yeah? You liked?" He asks quietly as he grabs you by your waist, making you blush now.
"Babe... You're all sweaty..." You playfully complain, not really put off by that factor though cause you're still holding him by his shirt.
"Oh? Let me fix that." He whispers playfully before taking off his shirt eagerly, making you laugh and grab his face to kiss him sweetly.
"You're insatiable." You mutter against his lips before grabbing his hand and pulling him off towards the living room couch as he makes quick work of your shirt, making you squeal happily at how quick he threw your shirt away.
"This why you ended your live early?" You joke as you grip his toned sides and move to press your body against his, needing that contact.
"And if it is?" He whispers as he lays you on the couch, hovering over you, making you smirk excitedly.
"I'll be flattered." You taunt before wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling his head down to kiss him deeply. He kisses back, not missing a beat. Even as his hands roam your bare sides and grips your ass in both hands, making you moan softly against his lips.
"I've missed you all day..." He whispers against your mouth that was now hanging open thanks to his hands gripping your ass and rolling your hips against his bulge that was becoming more apparent through his sweatpants.
"Fuck..." You breathe out in one long and shallow breath as his mouth moves to your neck. One of his hands move from your ass to the front of your shorts, sliding in and going straight into your underwear to check you.
"Jung... Kookie..." You moan softly and grind down on to his fingers as they slide effortlessly between your folds.
"No prep needed." He teases quietly in your ear, making you moan softly in a bashful way. He was always so damn cocky. Of course, you didn't need much prep! Not when you had a tattooed, pierced, and five-foot-ten Korean biker man on top of you grabbing at your body like he knew it like the back of his hand. He pulls back to look you in the eyes.
"You missed me?" He taunts softly as he strokes his tender fingers up and down your wet slot, making you moan more, head rolling back as you roll your hips against his hand, following his movements like his fingers are a paintbrush.
"Y/N? You missed me?" He whispers again as he watches you with dark eyes. You whine a soft 'yes', making him groan. "I love your noises..." He whispers as he pulls out his hand from your shorts and sits up on his knees.
"No. No, please. More." You moan as you sit up fast and go straight for his waistband, making him lick his lips, watching you pull his sweats and boxers down in one motion. You gasp as his cock springs out.
"No prep needed..." You taunt breathlessly before kissing along his chest as your hand squeezed the length, making Jungkook groan and buck his hips slightly, wanting more.
You look up at him and bat your eyelashes, putting on your best innocent act, making him moan more. "Oh my god, you're so fucking pretty..." He breathes out in awe before pushing you back down on to the couch. He yanks your bottoms off fully, and you smile up at him as you lift your legs and hold them up and apart by your knees, putting your pussy on full display.
"Fuck, you look... Fucking amazing like that." Jungkook pants as he strokes the tip of his cock along your wet slot, watching as it gets wetter from your juices. Thank god for birth control...
"It's been so long." He whispers, eyes rolling shut at the feeling of your clit twitching against his tip. You pause at that comment.
"Baby, we hooked up last night." You giggle softly and are cut off by a long moan as your always giving boyfriend slides into you slowly.
"You didn't miss this cock?" He whispers as he watches your face while he slides in inch by inch to really make you feel it. Your eyes practically roll back.
"Yes! I missed it!" You whine quietly as you keep your legs in place, wanting him deep inside of you. Jungkook smirks as he moves to hover over you again and his arms go above your head to hold you in place as he slowly slides out of your dripping cunt, ready to thrust right back in. It makes you melt, honestly. He always knew where to hit.
"Baby..." You whine, eyes shut, lost in his strokes. They made your mind go numb. It makes him smirk as he quickens his pace a bit more.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." He pants repeatedly in your ear as he shoves his cock deeper inside of you. He hits your spot and you scream out, almost going limp. You didn't wanna move, not when his cock was hitting that spot.
"Oh my fucking god..." You whine out in pure pleasure, making Jungkook smirk.
"There you go baby. Don't I always hit that spot that makes you go dumb?" He taunts in your ear as the pit of your stomach starts to tighten. Your head rolls back as you cry out, unable to move from under him. His toned body had you against the couch and his arms were keeping you from jolting from his thrusts.
"You gonna cum for me? Hm?" He asks, always excited at the thought, no matter how many times you've done this. You nod fast.
"Yes! Yes! So... Close..." You whine out as your head rolls back, your hands letting go of your legs and gripping his waist, nails digging into his skin as he uses that pain as motivation to keep going.
"Who owns this pussy, baby?" He whispers in your ear as you shiver.
"Y-You! You! I-I... Have... Cum!" You cry out as you do just that as Jungkook slows down his thrusts a bit as you cream on his length.
"F-Fuck I have to... Cum." He gasps as you pull him down to kiss him passionately. He pulls out to cum on your stomach and pants heavily as he basically lays on top of you after, making you giggle sleepily.
"That... Is so good." You sigh peacefully as Jungkook holds up his fist, making you laugh at his after-sex routine. You fist bump him before laying back with your eyes closed.
"This... Is the good life..." He whispers bashfully and you smile happily. You couldn't agree more.
****************************************
"What?!" You shout in panic as Jungkook rubs his face in an upset and nervous manner. His manager was on the phone, shouting about Jungkook's live staying on and having to be turned off by them.
You're quick to get on Twitter as Jungkook apologizes to his manager for being careless. "Oh... No, no, no, no..." You panic as you see Jungkook is trending and your '@' is going around everywhere. Some fans are following you out of excitement while others are leaving messages about how they can't believe Jungkook would choose you.
Your heart drops as you see the fanbase split down the middle. Some fans defending you and some telling you to flat out kill yourself. There was a small percentage of fans shaming you as well, blaming you for 'exposing' Jungkook. Like you purposefully revealed yourself for the hell of it.
Jungkook looks over at you as you just get lost in scrolling through each and every comment. He gets up fast. "Don't." He says as he grabs your phone away, but you already feel a lump growing in your throat as you try and blink away the tears.
"You'll have to disappear for a bit on social media. Both of you, And wait for something more interesting to happen." Jungkook's manager says as he just pulls you into his arms, focusing more on comforting you. "Hello? Do you hear me? Maybe Ms. Y/L/N should just go back home. This little honeymoon is over. Now." His manager says angrily, and you pull away from your boyfriend's strong grasp.
"Talk." You whisper before walking off out of the kitchen and going into the bedroom, needing to lay down. You get in bed and slowly hide under the covers, drowning yourself in Jungkook's scent. You knew you were no one special. You knew Jungkook ran with a higher class of people who were more his 'aesthetic'. Who the hell were you compared to someone... younger, prettier, smarter, thin-
You're cut from your spiraling thoughts by a log of a body, laying gently on top of you. "Y/N..." Jungkook whispers, making you sniffle.
"Jungkook, your manager." You try quietly as the sheets are pulled off of your head.
"We... Came to an understanding." He says and you nod slowly.
"When am I leaving?" You ask, breath hitching in slight panic. All of this was too good to be true. You should've known someone like you never gets a happy ending. Not with your luck.
Jungkook frowns and strokes your cheek tenderly, wiping away a stray tear you didn't even know was there...
"You're not going anywhere, baby." He says softly and you look up at him, studying his face for any sign of that being a cruel joke. Instead, you're met with soft and bright shiny eyes looking back at you in excitement.
"But... Your manager...-" Jungkook cuts you off.
"Understands that without you here, I'll have no distraction and therefore, will just have to make their lives a living hell for entertainment. Go right back to shirtless lives and getting drunk on camera." He smirks proudly as you slowly sit up, Jungkook moving to sit between your legs.
"But... That still doesn't change that we have to go MIA for awhile..." You sigh.
"Mm... No. We don't have to do that either." He nods before showing you his phone. You see it's open to Namjoon's Instagram.
"Babe, I don't need to see you've been learking on his page..." You try with a scrunched nose.
"No, no, look." He encourages and you open up Namjoon's Instagram story and see he posted a screenshot from Jungkook's live yesterday. It's of you two with his hands on your waist and your hands on his shoulders, smiling sweetly up at him as he looks at you with this lovesick puppy dog face. The little phrase in the corner of the picture says 'Happy Day!' followed by a purple heart emoji. You smile a bit and sniffle more as you see how many people have liked it already.
"That's so sweet. But baby... Your fans hate me. They'll stop supporting you if we try and go public..." You warn quietly.
"Then they aren't really my fans, are they?" Jungkook asks, giving you a pointed look. You sigh softly at the question.
"You're right." You finally agree, voice soft as you slowly let yourself lean into him more.
"I've got you, Y/N. It's you and me. And I wouldn't want it any other way..." He says quietly as he moves to kiss your temple, making you blush.
"Let's do a live tonight. I can introduce you to ARMY. Properly this time..." He teases and you giggle and smile up at him.
"Sounds perfect." You whisper before kissing him.
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alloftheimaginesblog · 9 months
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Headcanons for being Robin's cousin and Steve Harrington falls for you...
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You come to stay with your cousin Robin since your parents are splitting up and everything's just a bit messy and complicated so you go stay with your aunt and uncle and cousin.
Growing up, you and Robin were always best friends, crazy and always getting into some sort of trouble and it wasn't any different years later.
You and Robin were still close, the two of you regularly called or wrote to the other, so it was never awkward when you weren't together because you had always been the best of friends.
Robin immediately tells you about all the insane stuff that's happened in Hawkins, she can't hold her own water, and you're amazed.
It's not long before you meet Steve.
And my god, he is gorgeous.
Pretty much instantly, Steve is yours. He gawks at you, hissing to Robin, "That's your cousin?! Holy shit!"
Robin rolls her eyes, "Dude you promised you wouldn't fall for them!"
But it's too late.
When you start chatting and getting to know him, it solidifies the deal and the two of you are making heart eyes across the table at one another from day one.
Seeing the two of them together is hilarious, the bounce off the other so chaotically and adding you into the mixture makes things three times as bad.
It's then you meet the rest of the gang - Dustin and his friends, Nancy and Jonathan and Eddie.
You know all about Nancy and Steve's history, Robin told you everything, so the more you got to know Steve and the more you saw the two of them together, the more jealous you got. Nancy was lovely, beautiful and strong and it was clear that there was a lot of love and history between them so naturally you were a little jealous.
One night, after a party at Steve's, you and Steve, drunk as all hell, start to have a deep conversation. You talk about how hard it's been dealing with your parents divorcing, dealing with the anger and the hurt from that had been awful. Steve talks about how even though his parents are together, he feels isolated and alone. A boy in a big house all alone. His parents don't really care, don't really contact him unless it's something important... He holds a lot of anger around that and the two of you grow closer.
It doesn't take long until Steve confesses his feelings to you. Before he does though, he asks Robin if it's okay. He doesn't want her to feel uncomfortable but she gets it from both sides - literally. She knows how much you like him from your rants and raves about him and he's the same.
You and Steve get together but there's a nagging feeling in the back of your mind and Steve can tell. He doesn't push but one day, it all comes spilling out. You tell him about your worries that he still has feelings for Nancy, that if given the choice he'd pick her again over you.
"Never. (y/n)... I loved Nancy, yeah, I didn't think I'd get over her... until you came to town. The day I met you, I knew there was something about you and I was right. You are batshit insane sometimes it's scary what your mind comes up with, you're hilarious, you understand me, you relate to me... It's you I'm in love with, not Nancy, not anyone. If given the choice, I'd pick you again and again."
From then onwards, you trust him one hundred percent and even find yourself in some crazy, mindboggling situations.
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sgiandubh · 2 months
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Anon rebelde.
Si vas a delatar a alguien, o si vas a informar o discutir lo que escribe, lee tu mismo la publicación correspondiente
Tal vez alguien le tendría que decir a la señora de las iniciales en mayúsculas,SDLIM para abreviar, que se aplique el cuento porque su comprensión lectora deja mucho que desear y también que tenga cuidado con todos esos blogs fantasmas que tanto la aplauden, tal vez tenga entre ellos un caballo de Troya. El que avisa no es traidor, es avisador y por cierto, hacen muy buena pareja la caja roja de Nestlé y la negra de aviación 😉
Dear (returning) Anon Rebelde,
Su última comunicación ha molestado a mucha gente de enfrente, que aparentemente se quejaba de que nuestro diálogo era imposible de seguir. Sin embargo, estoy segura de que nuestras maravillosas hermanas shipper no tienen problemas para entender el tráfico de esta escena, lo cual, según me han dicho, también es muy apreciado. Para todos los demás usaré pictogramas:
(I am translating the above paragraph I wrote myself in Spanish as a courtesy to this valued guest, just so you know - across the street. This is also NOT something you ought to have a say in, on MY page) Your last submission has annoyed many people across the street, who apparently complained about our dialogue being impossible to follow. However, I am sure our wonderful shipper sisters have no trouble understanding the traffic of this stage, which I am also told is very much appreciated.
For all the others, I will use pictograms 🙄:
👮‍♀️Translation of Anon Rebelde's question follows. Fasten your seatbelts ❗
'If you are going to tattle on someone, or if you are going to report or discuss what they write, read the relevant post for yourself' Maybe someone should tell Block Letters Lady, BLL for short, to also practice what she preaches, because her reading comprehension leaves a lot to be desired, and also to be careful with all those sock accounts that applaud her so much, maybe there's a Trojan horse among them. Not a traitor, speaking: just a warner. And by the way, the red Nestlé box and the black aviation box make a very good couple 😉
​👮‍♀️Translation of Anon Rebelde's submission has now ended. You may safely proceed to the next level ❗
I am aware of the Baby Jesus' Belly Button Feast in there, too. That is strictly their problem, Anon Rebelde, but it's still hilarious to watch them pretend to be friends with each other, etc. I think all of this is very childish, but again, querida - we do things a bit differently, in here, and that is something that is not going to change. The red box was probably not Nestlé, but if you find it more fun, so be it.
And you are right, Red Box and Black Box like each other a lot, since Day 1, when Black Box welcomed Red Box like long lost family and immediately trusted her. Something Red Box was not expecting, so she was very moved & happy about it. Black Box + Red Box = Friends♾️, who root hard for each other, help each other and share a lot of things in DMs, too 😱.
(Remember: if you are not Julius Caesar or Marilyn Monroe, illeism is such a chichi rhetorical trick. And even if you are Julius Caesar - De Bello Gallico is such an obnoxious thing to translate, you wouldn't believe it.)
People are both a blessing and a curse, in this Strange Wasteland. I have met some of the kindest souls and some of the strangest twisted minds ever, in here. It really is mindboggling, yet by far the best side of this experience.
As for the Trojan Horse, well.... I don't get what you mean, but I trust their spies will.
May I risk a Miss Cleo prediction and foresee another salvo of Anons who'd throw the door open, enter in a frenzy, step on Bebe's tail, put their feet on the table and show me how pressure is properly done?
Let them.
I'd rather have you, Anon Rebelde. Doors can be slammed, too.
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thefirstknife · 1 year
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It's starting to feel like there's an implicit understanding in the community that complaining about the game is one of the main ways to engage with it, and maybe is something newer players pick up as part of the 'haha even diehard destiny players hate destiny' narrative. =\
Im happy to see the playerbase growing, but dang, I wish there'd be a bit less of 'if you love this thing you'll be passionate about criticizing it' among some of the big personalities
Yeah. Destiny always had that whole joke like "The one thing Destiny players hate the most is Destiny." I never understood it. When I mildly disliked Destiny, I stopped playing. Genuinely cannnot fathom playing a game religiously while hating it. Mindboggling. I'm also somewhat salty that a lot of people "criticising the story" and latching onto this whole vibe have never actually been fans of the story or have never really paid attention to it.
Like, it feels somewhat strange to me that suddenly every single content creator, including those that were openly NEVER into the lore and even content creators who literally only play pvp and those that openly play with voicelines and subtitles off, are suddenly great experts on how this story apparently sucks. And of course followed by a million of their fans who have until yesterday only ever cared about meta weapons for Trials, but have overnight become lore masters who understand that the story was "bad."
I know people who ARE into lore and who had issues. I also know that there's a lot of new players who were probably utterly confused, though that's to be expected when you tune into the 9th year of the franchise. I'm totally fine with that and respect people who have a different view of the campaign and how it felt to them. And of course if any new players are super confused and have no idea where to start learning more... I sympathise. Greatly. And I'm happy to help! Obviously a lot of what people are discussing right now is really complicated and draws from super specific lore that might not be easy for a new player to understand right away. It will take some time and that's okay!
But when I see the amount of people blasting the story, I'm left thinking... Really? There were so many lore enjoyers out there all this time? You're telling me that twitter user xxTrialsHunterMain69420xx understands the problems with the narrative and can talk with authority on obscure lore references and how Bungie fucked them up? This is absolutely news to me, as most players have been dissing the story for years and if they weren't dissing, they just weren't engaging with it at all.
Obviously every player has a right to say how they felt playing and how they vibed with the campaign and if they didn't vibe with it, that's fine. They didn't vibe with a lot of campaigns that I would die for, like for example Shadowkeep. But there's a distinct feeling like a lot of these people are just latching onto the hate train for no real justifiable reason of their own. Like, it's popular to shit on the campaign now and people will do it to fit in, even if they personally have never ever had any stakes in what Destiny's story is about.
They've been given not only permission, but encouragement to blast the campaign over something they barely understand and something that a lot of people reacted to out of their basic impulses. And I get it because my basic impulse was negative too. I feel like maybe a huge personality who influences the entire community shouldn't post the first thought that comes to their mind uncritically to social media. Or at least that they should feel like they can change their mind and correct that later. I feel like a lot of them would never do that now because it would mean alienating their audience. "Oh yeah I told you all that this sucks, but actually no it doesn't, just listen." Yeah, not going to happen. Not to mention that outrage brings clicks.
And of course, now the whole discourse has been completely ruined by the outrage so it's incredibly hard to find and filter who actually has decent feedback and who is just riding the hate train. Frustrating and draining.
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gold-rhine · 1 year
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Not to get political but I think hoyo messed up Inazuma so badly because HoYoverse is a Chinese company and Inazuma is a Japanese-based region. Like we first got mondstadt and liyue whose archons are easily likable with beautiful and bright scenery but then we go to Inazuma where there’s a civil war and always raining, and gloomy, and where you can easily get hit by lightning. I feel like their political ideology unconsciously seeps through into the story which then caused Inazuma to be as messy as it is.
bruh where to start with this one
far be from me to defend hoyo about anything, but like this is i feel like so off-base of what the real issue was. bc like calling inazuma "always raining, gloomy and you can be hit by the lightning" is tbh legit offensive to the area designers. like inazuma is gorgeous, its much more unique, interesting and varied than mond. Mond is the most generic breath of the wild european fantasy rip off, are you for real gonna say inazuma design is less inspired?? design, visuals and exploration wise inazuma is miles above mond and tbh above liyeu too. if you read\watch game critics talk about genshin, like not the genshin youtubers, but ppl who talk about variety of games, everyone called inazuma design the stand-out region where the game really showed its own identity and direction instead of "botw and china-flavored and much more lovingly crafted botw".
not to mention how much more research and references to actual japans history and mythology inazuma has compared to mond. like i love european mythology so i know a fair bit of germanic myths and i live in germany right now, and the most influence you can see of the mythology is on khaenriah of all things. mond feels more like france than germany. inazuma has little details and designs reference actual japan everywhere, including the split of religions visions between the sisters and the isolation barrier. there are like 30 min videos talking about cultural references of scara design alone. there's been very obviously SO MUCH research and effort put into inazuma setting wise, its insane.
like genshin is an anime gacha. hoyo knows their main audience are weaboos, of course they would try to make japan-based region a banger. Inazuma was incredibly ambitious and experimental, not all of it paid off and the story obv failed bc of the waifu-selling focus, but pretending they just didn't try bc you didn't like environmental hazards with it is like???? area design not being saccharine and safe all the time does not make it bad, and writers trying to make complicated characters do not mean they dislike them. raiden's character arc failed, but it doesn't mean the initiative was bad, only the execution, and they actually learned and hit it right with scara's arc. like it's mindboggling to me that by your logic writers should write only plain likable characters all the time or it means they are prejudiced against their country
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mossfeathers · 9 months
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uhh welcome to my blog
Hey! I'm Moss, artist of some sort and occasional writer! My blog's kind of a mess right now and I don't really feel like making it look neat so we stay messy. Any pronouns (he/she/they + neos maybe) and a minor (-18)!
I'm WarriorHeroic on AO3 and mossfeathers on twitter (inactive) + youtube (i plan on uploading compilation videos of certain duo interactions throughout the life series, namely bigb + scar, lizzie, grian, and etho since theyre near and dear to my heart, just taking a bit bc of subtitles)
STAND WITH PALESTINE
SORTA MULTIFANDOM!! (cringe but free <3) Mostly MCYT still (hermitcraft, empires, life series, NO DTEAM/RELATED), but I also like TMAG(P), Be More Chill, The Crane Wives, Mob Psycho 100, and the iliad/odyssey. <- mindboggling mixture of interests how did this even happen
lots of characters are girls to me. ask me about my transfem headcanons <3
Asks always open for doodle and writing requests! Or for anything. Please talk to me. If we're mutuals (doesnt matter how much we've talked) shoot me a DM for my discord!!
DNI/DNF (do not interact/do not follow) homophobe, transphobe, racist, nazis, anti-semite, generally discriminatory, pro-Israel, pro/irlshippers, zoophile, MAPS, if you support or tolerate any of these things or things of a similar manner, wilbur soot/dteam defenders ❤️, general dni criteria (i think that includes the stuff i listed though)
I am not comfortable with NSFW jokes made about me under any circumstance! If we are talking in DMs, I am not comfortable with NSFW jokes/comments about characters either. Even if it is in a joking manner.
I have the discourse tag muted, if someones really messed up and i dont know just send me an ask letting me know :)
Feel free to use my art for pfps, edits, and other projects with credit (in bio or pinned post if for pfp/banner, either ask me for a watermarked version or just put my @ on the image for any other things)
I mostly ship mcyt stuff as a joke and all shipping posts/most shipping reblogs should be tagged with the corresponding tag *ONLY CHARACTERS, NEVER REAL LIFE CREATORS*
My tags: '#moss draws art' for my art, '#moss writing' for my writing, '#moss ask answers' for ask answers, '#moss saves stuff' for posts I want to save, 'moss chitchat' for my textposts, "🪼 anon" for asks from 🪼 anon, '#sweethearts siren au' for all my posts about my siren au (sweethearts are grian+bigb but there are many more characters in it), '#moss makes cranes' for my original Crane Lives drawings (credit to cherrifire for the original idea!!!)
follow @jalo-parker btw hes so talented and fun literally one of the best people i know
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suekre · 2 months
Text
Writing things.
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I was tagged by my amazing friend Teo aka @teodoraioana221 and I've been meaning to do this for AGES (probably just a few weeks but it definitely feels longer lol) but life kept getting in the way... still keeps getting in the way, actually, but today I'm saying: fuck it, I'mma do this now. 😂
1. How many works do you have?
Oof, I have no idea, honestly. Everything I ever wrote is unfinished anyway, so if I count in my shortest drabbles, too... probably about a hundred or so? 😅 I genuinely have no idea, though, please don't make me count. 😂
2. What fandoms do you write for?
I'm not in any fandom so I don't write for any fandoms either.
3. What are your top 5 stories by kudos?
I wouldn't know. I barely get any feedback, but that's because I'm so shy about sharing my writing in first place. My Little Blurbs tumblr is somewhere in the shadows, almost entirely unseen. 😂
4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I absolutely do, as often as I can! ❤️ If someone takes precious time out of their day to leave me a nice comment, it's mindboggling and it always makes my day, so I am happy to show my gratitude for that; I really love replying to comments!
5. What’s the story you wrote with the angstiest ending?
My stories hardly ever have actual endings. 😂 I'd say that the Ballad of Hallie and Lancie is pretty angsty, though, as a whole.
6. What’s the story you wrote with the happiest ending?
Again, my stories hardly ever have actual endings. 🤣 Thing is... I don't write my little blurbs for endings anyway, I just love exploring human interaction! Most things I write are very everyday-convo-esque and don't really serve a purpose other than me wanting to write dialogue. 😂
7. Do you get hate on stories?
Nope, but as I said above already, I'm shy about sharing my writing, only a few people see it.
8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
No actual smut, no, but I do include subjects like sex and intimacy, because I love that kinda stuff.
9. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
I didn't actually write any crossovers, but I sure do share ideas with friends sometimes, about how fun it would be if our characters were in the same world... and I'd totally love to draw some of those scenes one day. 🤣
10. Have you ever had a story stolen?
I don't know but I doubt it.
11. Have you ever had a story translated?
I dunno?? I switch between German and English when I write, depending on my mood and energy level (high energy level: English, low energy level: German), so sometimes I translate my own stuff when I want to post it to my blurb tumblr. 😂
12. Have you ever co-written a story before?
Also, nope!
13. What’s your all-time favourite ship?
You mean, among my own OCs? I don't even know, I love all my ships, whether they're endgame or not but I think I can say that Charlie and Kieran will always hold a special place in my heart (although I wouldn't want to write the same kind of relationship again these days!) and also Orla and Mick are pretty darn important and amazing! :D
14. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
All of them. Honestly, I wish I was better at finishing my one shots but unfortunately, I'm not. 😂 I'd really love to write the last few bits of my Ballad of Hallie and Lancie, though, because these two became so important to me over the course of the last six months, and I just love them and would love to wrap their teenage story up one day!
15. What are your writing strengths?
I don't think I have any, but if I had to say something, I think it would be 'dialogue'. It's what I love most and I had people telling me that they love it, which is really cool!
16. What are your writing weaknesses?
Everything. 😂 Writing in English is hard for me (not a native speaker) so I really do struggle with everything. It's all for fun, though, so that's cool and I try not to overthink it too much and just do what I feel like doing, without any pressure. I prefer writing badly over not writing at all!
17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a story?
I do that all the time, as I'm not a native English speaker. 😂 I'm kinda hoping that I can switch it around one day, though. I'd love to throw in a dash of dialogue in my own language one day but I'm not actively writing any German characters at this point so I guess it won't happen any time soon.
18. First fandom you wrote for?
My own. 😂
19. Favourite story you’ve ever written?
Quite a few, actually! I love my most recent WIP of Sofia and Hallie having a chat after Craig's passing. Also the Sofia&Craig convo about their oldest son... and once I can think of other stuff I have written so far, I might mention some more. 😂
That was a lot of rambling lol. GO ME! Tagging everything who wants to do this... it's been super fun! :D
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purrincess-chat · 1 year
Note
I really like what you said about the Love Square dynamic and the comments in the fandom about how people are upset that their side of the square is not canonical in a romantic relationship. I especially liked the words that after the reveal it will be a new ship with its own unique dynamics created from all LS sides. But there are things I worry about after the reveal.
I hate these arguments about which side is better and I fear that even after the reveal, these arguments will get worse. There will be people who will complain about their dynamic after the reveal because it doesn't look enough like their favorite side of LS pre-reveal dynamic, while on the other hand there will be people who will claim that this dynamic is completely taken from their beloved side of the LS. Like, recently I've seen salty Ladynoir's shippers claiming that the post-reveal dynamic will be entirely pre-reveal Ladynoir.
And their statements stand in stark contrast to the show itself, as it teaches Marinette and Adrien to embrace their civilian and superhero identities as one, not to give up parts of their personalities to fulfill their dreams of their romantic dynamic.
First off, that last bit is the best take I've seen in a while, so thank you for that.
Because you're absolutely right. Their arguments are not rooted in canon. People in this fandom have never truly grasped the full concept of the love square. Ever since s1 there has always been this divide among fans of the show. I think other franchises like Twilight or THG series set this weird precedent of dividing people into "teams" for their favorite ships, even though one of them is bound to win out in the end, but the problem with doing that with ML and the love square is it doesn't work. The love square is so appealing because it subverts the typical love triangle because they're the same two people sliced 4 ways because of secret identities. Which is super great and fun and refreshing. But the problem is, people in this fandom have never quite fully grasped that concept, and people fell into the same pitfalls by treating each side as its own entity rather than a part of a whole. It's why MC stans for the longest time bolstered the "true selves" argument because there was a mental disconnect between the sides. Yes, there are unique dynamics to each one, but there is also an incredible amount of overlap because, ya know, they're the same people. But the issue has always been that people put the square in such rigid boxes and fail to understand why the love square is so great. It reminds me of Uncle Iroh's speech about the 4 nations and how you should pull wisdom from all of them. It's the same thing here. There is nuance to every side, but at the end of the day, the love square isn't 4 separate ships, it's one ship with 4 parts working toward a collective whole.
That's why I shake my head at a lot of posts I see around the fandom because people are upset over their own lack of understanding. I've seen it here, on twitter, on Instagram, on tiktok. "The love square is dead because Adrinette is canon" "rip LadyNoir marichat and ladrien" "I've wasted 7 years waiting for Ladybug and Chat noir to get together and it's Adrien and Marinette instead" Like, babes I have some news for you 😂😂 And I'm not saying people have to love every decision canon makes, I know I don't, but the amount of tantrums I've seen people throwing over the flagship of the show getting together is mindboggling. I made a joke to some friends in private about how prior to Elation, MC stans were the most obnoxious group of LS shippers, but truthfully I haven't heard a peep from them since after Elation aired, and it seems LN stans have moved up in their place. I didn't have LN stans becoming the new obnoxious MC stans that ruin the ship for everyone else on my bingo card last year, but here we are. And it's not all of them, just a loud minority I feel. But the annoying thing about loud minorities is that they're, well, loud.
To me, my intrigue with the love square has always been in blending the dynamics between the sides, even in pre reveal. Having a dash of LadyNoir banter and puns in Adrinette, having the sweet and gentle side of Adrien coming out in Chat Noir. They're the same two people, so all of that is inside them all the time. They're both an amalgamation of their two egos, and canon has never shied away from that. That was a huge point of Kuro Neko for Adrien. He's not one or the other, he's both. For Marinette I think specifically of Pretension when she confidently tells Gabriel to go fuck himself then goes outside and has a panic attack. She is both the confident superheroine who helps others and the anxious young girl trying to figure life out just like Adrien is both a goofy furry that makes bad jokes and a gentle and respectful boy who tries to see the best in other people. Canon has been screaming that at us, but some people just are not paying attention.
To assert that they will only be a representation of one dynamic post reveal is just misguided in my opinion. It stems from the lack of understanding that they are both Ladybug/Chat Noir and Marinette/Adrien. I firmly believe the post reveal dynamic will be a blend like I was talking about. Adrinette will confidently flirt. LadyNoir will have deep conversations about life that they never could before. MariChat will makeout on the rooftops. Ladrien will kick each others butt at video games. They'll be silly and sweet. They'll be serious and brave. Each side's development will shape the new dynamic, and I think that new dynamic will have elements we haven't seen yet but also a lot of the elements we've grown to love. It's not going to be just one side prevailing because that has never been the love square. Truthfully, I think a lot of people in the fandom are just too angry to see that right now. A lot of their posts are reactionary and ranty and angry, and the way I see it, those people will either calm down eventually or leave the fandom. Get over it or die angry, as I say. I'm not too overly worried about fandom after this season because I know a huge chunk of people aren't going to stick around. But maybe that's what this fandom needs. Salt and negativity are so easy to come by, and anyone who dares post anything nice or positive are mocked and scorned. The amount of people that have either sent me asks or messaged me privately about being scared to post about liking pre reveal Adrinette openly for fear of LN stans writing posts calling them stupid or blocking them is sad. But that's what our fandom has come to.
So, yeah, I can't say I'll be sad if the aggressive salters leave bc they're mad about pre reveal canon Adrinette. No one should be afraid to post about liking canon for fear of being ostracized. That's incredibly fucked up, and it makes the fandom worse. So, ya know what? I'm happy to take the brunt of it for other people. Salters can vague post about me all they want, but I'm not the one making people feel unwelcome for just trying to have a good time. My ask box is always open if people want to talk about how much they love Adrinette or canon or anything they're not comfortable posting on their own blogs. Fandom is supposed to be fun, so I'm here if anyone wants to just enjoy things. And I'm sorry to anyone who's been made too uncomfortable by salters to enjoy things openly. You guys don't deserve that.
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"I think that lots of things that I thought were possible before that was posted, don’t seem possible now." This is really interesting to me, because I've been following you a while and I never really felt that I knew what you think was possible re Harry and gender?
From what I have seen and read, Harry has never expressed a nuanced interest in this topic more than "everybody should be kind to everybody, and that includes women". Even worse, there have been terrible, terrible takes last year. For me, the whole Pleasing nonsense is way worse than the Pilates stuff - is he seriously selling anti aging crap to teenagers??? And the way he talked about queer films? That still makes me so angry, to the point that I'd prefer not to have Harry speaking on politics, gender and social issues at all.
To me, the missing "there, there" is really important in this context, because I also think that he is closeted. 25 years ago, when I was 18 years old, I was absolutely okay with everybody thinking that my parents might be abusive rather than people knowing that I was getting love bites from another girl. Mindboggling now. I've always had a good relationship with my parents, knew even then that they would be fine with me being a lesbian and I didn't live in a conservative environment at all. Still the fear of being forced out of the closet made me oblivious to everything else around me, it paralyzed me and I had no space for thinking about collective social issues.
Obviously Harry's situation is very different, but I see myself (and a lot of my queer friends) in him waffling nonsense and making bad choices (subjectively 'bad' to me at least) from a frightening closet. When he talked about his panic about being perceived as "somebody who has sex" or "people seeing how he kisses", it was really painful to me, like him playing Tom was painful to me, too. I hope therapy goes well for him if he wants that.
Being a 'new, meterosexual' man, who is sexy but also detached, might be a kind of compromise for Harry. Which it obviously isn't, and that is why people are missing the 'there, there' at a closer look. It is lacking authenticity, which I've seen mentioned in the media for the first time this year. My guess is that Harry and his team are aware of it and playing for time (3-5 more fat years?) but what do I know...
Of course nobody is forcing him to endorse the Pilates studio, but maybe it's something like "Harry, we'll give a short clip to the pilates study so you can have a three week holiday with your partner safely, is that alright?". 18 year old me would have said yes and not asked more questions, I'd just been happy to have three weeks without fearing to be dragged out of the closet. Might sound dramatic, but to me Harry's anxiety is palpable a lot of the time in the way he treats his body and, more lately, the things he says (which, again, might be wrong and 100% projection on my part).
Making his choices under circumstances he doesn't choose from when he was 16 years old is a lot. Maintaining a closet is a lot, even if you're not a popstar with millions of eyes on you, hundreds of peoples' livelyhood depending on you, and a partner who is in a similar but also very different position. It's a lot and I feel for Harry.
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Sorry for this novel, I just love to read your thoughts and am checking obsessively if you reply to my anons. Lately I've saved them so that I might re-read my own thoughts later, like a diary. Strange but I guess there are stranger things on the internet ; )
Thanks for your thoughts anon - it's so awesome to hear that asking anons helps you process stuff. I'm going to respond to a couple of different things in here, but if there's something that you're super interested in that I miss.
That's a great starting point - what did I used to think was possible when it comes to Harry and gender. To focus a little bit on the politics of it - so his response to gender in society - not just as it relates to him - I think there are a wide variety of options. To give one example - he could have a visceral aversion to statements that 'men are like this and women are like this'. He could also have a political understanding that statements that men are one way and women are another are quite harmful. I think it's unlikely that he would go even further and feeling like it's important that he's part of changing that, but I wouldn't have said it's impossible. He also could not really have any thoughts about it all - when he sees a sentence like 'It's not just for girls, it separates the men from the boys' - he could just think 'that sounds reasonable'
Obviously now I think the possibilities cluster much more strongly around 'that sounds reasonable', but before the interview any of those could have been true.
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I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences and the way that they have shaped you. I'm so glad to hear that things are better from you and you have a good relationship with your parents. I hope you are kind to your younger self - her anxiety was a reasonable response to the world she
I totally agree that Harry's anxiety is palpable in a lot of what he does and how he interacts with the world. I think the 'people will know how I kiss' comment is an excellent example as are much of the other things you mention.
But in this case, I think understanding this through the lens of the closet doesn't bring any insight. In particular, in the way that you frame it - as if someone is giving this clip so that he can have time with his partner - there's absolutely no reason to believe that's true. Harry can have three week holidays with his partner without anyone knowing (wealth buys you that). The idea that this video would be seen to directly matter by Harry, or anyone working for him, doesn't make any sense with how we've seen him navigating the closet
That doesn't mean that there's not some connection. Anxiety works in mysterious ways and there could be all sorts of things going on for Harry. But I think imagining a straight forward 'he's doing this because he's anxious that otherwise he'll be outed' - is an over simplification that probably reveals more about your anxiety than Harry's.
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I do agree that Harry's closet is central to the question of 'is there a there there'. I remember listening to the Harry episode of Popcast - and it felt like they were dancing around the possibility of him being closeted - but I don't think they were - I think they were just describing the gaps they saw.
But I think it's easy for fans to assume that the feeling that there's no there there is entirely caused by the closet. I think it's far more complicated than that - because I think it's also something about Harry that enables him to be such a successful blank space - and that wouldn't suddenly change when he was out.
In particular, I don't think the fact that we're both 'no Harry, speak less about politics' would necessarily change just because he was out (there are plenty of out queer musicians who have said cringe things now and in the past). I think he'd probably be a little more articulate if he wasn't so afraid, but only a little. I think the way that he's unwilling to be clear about whether he's talking about himself or the world is shaped by the closet, but that doesn't mean that he would disappear. I think he could build up a centre, if he came out, but I don't think it's inevitable that he would.
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I've been really frustrated by the silence in response to that statement and that's led to me responding with the boldest, brashest version of what I think.
So here's another way of expressing the same idea. What if Harry did support the message of that video? What if it did reflect part of his worldview?
There are other explanations - but the fact that he agreed with something that he put his image to is always going to be the most likely one. And I think it's worth Harry's fans, particularly those who argue about what he's really like or talk as if they know what he's like, sitting with that possibility. And either including that view in what Harry might be like, or accepting that what they're talking about is not what Harry is like, but who they want him to be.
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grimm-rider · 10 months
Text
Entry 24
On our way out of Edeya’s manor (it’s so funny to think she has a manor—I mean I knew it mentally, that her parents were major players and she’d been raised basically like a princess, but to actually see it’s another thing) Nestian stopped us. He told us there was a complication that had come up. I thought at first he was just going to reiterate the fact our families were in danger, that Elvanna had put a hit out on them. But he told us that his human mother was in danger. Apparently in the mirror dimension Nestian had met a summoned creature called an Eidolon that was his mother’s partner, and she had tried to get his assistance to save his mother. But he had refused, because he needed to save Edeya. Because he was afraid that Aenland wouldn’t make it to help try to assist us. Because he didn’t know where I was or what my status was—and even if I was okay I think he didn’t trust in me to get through a fight by myself. Which, given that quintessence golem the Mirror Edeya had become there at the end, honestly his instincts probably aren’t far from the mark. I wouldn’t have been able to affect that thing, it would have been up to Talsune and Roscoe if I’d been the only one there. And I would have had to deal with all of the swarm spirits on my own without Nestian’s handy Lightning Javelins. Which means if Aenland were there I’d have needed to rely on waiting for Nevra’s lightning breath to gather enough energy to be used again, and in the meantime we’d have been dealing with spirits throwing Harm at those who weren’t shielded from it by my power, and draining the lifeforce of those they touched. And if Aenland weren’t there we would simply have no possible way to destroy all of the spirits, unless I could lure them all together to hit them all with chain lightning at once.
Fortunately, that is not how it went. Nestian was there, and while he took a bit of a beating (I had to cast Restoration twice—once for him and once for Aenland, due to the spirits’ life draining effects), he was in one piece. Enough to be embarrassed and try to make an escape when Aenland and I implied that Edeya’s parents were his future in-laws.
As we talked, I mentioned casually that I thought that Elvanna was more afraid of us than she let on. The others agreed, but Nestian asked what made me say that. So I told them about my little venture into Abaddon to meet with Queenie. Edeya joked around, jabbing at me asking if I’d betrayed them. She obviously knew better. None of the others even insinuated that I would have considered it.
Funny. When did it get to that point? A few months ago I would have sacrificed Aenland to a talking tree for safe passage in a heartbeat—or for no reason at all, really. He was unbearable back then. I’m actually fond of that idiot now, even if he still grinds on my nerves sometimes, it’s in a less…volatile way. Nestian was just kind of a stick in the mud who I vaguely appreciated having a mindboggling protective streak. Now…I don’t know. Things are a bit complicated where Nestian is concerned, considering my master killed his father. But I respect the way Nestian always moves forward with what he believes and doesn’t let anything dissuade him once he’s set his mind to something if he believes it’s right and good. I might not care about all that moralistic stuff, but I can appreciate how much it takes a person to stick to their principles. I don’t have any, and it’s easier that way, but I know Nestian’s are important to him, even when they are utterly baffling to me. So I am…trying to respect them.
Edeya was the only one I liked from the start. My fellow Irriseni, a would-be Winter Witch who threw away centuries of tradition to walk her own path. It figures that I’d like her. It helps that before she took up her new semi-pacifist ideals, we tended to see eye-to-eye the most out of the group (now strangely it’s Aenland who tends to see things my way most often). Not that I told her everything. I do worship Norgorber—a few secrets are mine to keep.
Except for Greta. I’ll let her in on my secrets.
I miss Greta.
On our way to the rebels’ hideout, I cast Sending as we flew invisibly towards the clocktower. I asked Greta if she was okay and where she was. She replied immediately and confirmed she was okay. She didn’t confirm where she was, but instead apologized for fake dating someone whose name got cut out of the Sending as she ran out of words.
I’m glad she’s okay…I wish we weren’t running around so much right now. I’d like to try to find out where she is and meet up with her. Get her out of whatever situation she’s stuck in. Meet her ‘boyfriend’.
I’m not jealous, that’s ridiculous, Greta is free to do as she pleases. I’d be a damned hypocrite if I got possessive of Greta when I already introduced Cesseer into our relationship.
Aaaaand Edeya and I may have fake dated while Greta was away too, so we’re even anyways.
We arrived to the clocktower not long after that. We landed silently in the overlook where we’d once slain Logrivich—and where I’d made my favorite skeleton. We found the trapdoor leading down locked, and no one responded when Nestian tried knocking—because of course he did.
I think he just thinks it’s funny at this point.
No. Maybe if it were Aenland. Nestian just genuinely considers it the best course of action because he hasn’t died yet from all the times a door’s swung open and someone’s swung a weapon at him shortly afterwards.
I mean, I suppose if it works it works. But if he dies from it one of these days his girlfriend is reviving his ass, not me.
I used the Chime of Opening to unlock the trapdoor (it worked on the first try for once—good thing, I get a feeling it doesn’t have many uses left in it), and we piled down to the floor below. Where we’d once meet the captive singer Bella Belvorica.
Nestian began making a beeline for a bookshelf by the far wall. When Aenland dropped to the floor, he drew his bow and an arrow in one swift action, whispering something to his arrow as he drew it back, then released it. It shot past Nestian and straight through the bookshelf—which vanished as the illusion making it appear there was dispelled, as was an Explosive Rune behind it.
Behind there the bookshelf had been was an opening that appeared to have been created with Stoneshape, which led into a passage containing a spiral staircase leading down, deep down below the clocktower.
We followed the staircase to the bottom and came upon a large set of rooms that appeared to be made for a decent sized force.
But there was only one man there, who seemed particularly jumpy. However he seemed familiar with Aenland, and he accepted our explanation when we told him that Edeya’s parents were former Winter Witches and were harmless.
The rebel was awaiting the return of Solveig, who was still alive and their leader it would seem.
Unfortunately, a moment later another rebel came in with some scouts, and reported breathlessly that Solveig, Bella, and Donya has all been captured and were going to be executed imminently. Scout…the scout…directed us to where they were to conduct the execution, and we raced out.
We made it just in time. We split up to pincer strike the Winter Witches, with Talsune, Roscoe, Aenland, Nevra, and I swooping down from behind where the captives were tied. On the opposite side Nestian and Edeya would run in.
And we got some unexpected help. As the winter sorcerers who were acting as executioners readied their spells to end our allies’ lives, a woman with unusually colored skin stepped from a building and raised what looked like a gun but sleeker—almost like something you’d see on a Dominion ship, minus organic bits. When she fired it, an X was burned into the face of one of the sorcerers and then his head exploded.
It was spectacular.
That was our cue to swoop in. Aenland began firing, taking out one of the sorcerers immediately before they could get their wits about them. Talsune and I flew low over the heads of the captives and landed just in range for Talsune to run a blade through another sorcerer, and I crushed her bones in the same moment. I’d heard the woman with the gun mention that the sorcerers had put up fire protection and that was going to be an issue for her. So looked like it was going to be up to us to cut through them.
I didn’t have a problem with that. I was feeling bloodthirsty.
As Nestian darted onto the battlefield, bringing his axe down on the final sorcerer, the ground began shaking. A reverberating rumbling came, growing closer—enormous footfalls. Then an unbelievably large Rune Giant cressed the horizon, lumbering towards us. It was here to do Queen Elvanna’s bidding.
She had told me that she *was* Irrisen. Apparently the Rune Giants, at least, agree.
Unfortunately for the guardian of Irrisen, we had Aenland. And faced with the archer, the giant was slain with his usual brutal efficientness—just a hunter felling another beast.
While Nestian and Aenland were dealing with that, Talsune and I had lined up the remaining four Winter Witches and caught them in a deadly mix of flame breath and Mass Inflict. They were still standing, so I quickened a Boneshaker on the nearest for good measure. It was maybe a little petty—that particular spell caster had tried to polymorph me into a sheep a moment prior. And one of her buddies had tried the same on Talsune. But we’d both resisted—me with the help of the barrier of fate Vigliv had woven around us, and Talsune through sheer force.
Two of the Winter Witches stepped out of formation, one aiming what looked like another polymorph, but whoever he aimed at clearly resisted because none of us randomly became sheep or whatever. The other one caught Nestian, Nevra, and Aenland in a Cone of Cold. A moment later they, too, had arrows sticking from them.
Talsune slashed through the final Winter Witch, and when I saw she was still alive on the ground, just barely, I cast another Boneshaker to smother the last sparks of life in her.
Another life snuffed out.
I didn’t feel much better. I still missed Greta, and in the back of my mind I was thinking about needing to contact our families to warn them about Elvanna’s threats. It was hard to savor the deaths of a bunch of nobodies right that moment.
While we’d been dealing with the witches and giants and such, the prisoners had been escaping from their bonds. They were mostly all out once the battle was over. The woman was helping Donya with the last of his binds, and Solveig and Bella were already free.
The woman with the strange gun that could pop people’s heads introduced herself as Zernebeth. Now that I got a better look at her, not in battle, I also saw that one of her arms was like a construct’s arm, entirely made of metal. Either that or it was a very strange very flexible gauntlet that covered her entire arm. But seeing as she soon enough told us she had come to Irrisen from Numeria, I think it’s safe to say her arm is technological. One of the strange wonders hoarded by Numeria’s Technic League.
We quickly departed from the scene of the deaths of eight agents of the crown—after I used Decompose Corpse to make them all into much harder to identify skeletons (and perhaps giving a silent nod to the Pallid Princess, in making the bodies decay away). We reconvened back at the rebel base. Edeya’s parents had made themselves at home, having chosen a room for themselves from the ones available. Solveig told us she would have something she needed to go over with us, but she wanted to give us a little time to gather ourselves first.
So I took the moment to take stock of our new acquaintance—possibly ally. I asked her what her story was. After all, it’s not every day a blue one-armed lady pops up and starts shooting Winter Witches to save a bunch of rebels from execution. She must have a reason to be helping us.
Zernebeth was very open with us that she was a former captain of the Technic League, which she called a ‘vile organization’. We let her know we’d had some indirect dealings with them, as Queen Elvanna had been working with that raptor looking man at Artrosa. Zernebeth looked mildly disgusted with the idea of the person, identifying him as ‘Prosser’, and stating that explained where he had been. She confirmed that he was a terrible person. But, she also told us that the Technic League likely didn’t exist anymore as of two days ago.
Apparently the king of Numeria, one Kevoth-Kol, had been woken from his drug induced stupor and he’d done away with the Technic League who had been controlling things in his absence.
Now apparently an elite task force was being sent into a mountain at the capital of Numeria to deal with a different potentially world ending threat than the one we’re dealing with, with Elvanna. So if they fuck up, we could do everything right and save the world from being frozen over just to have whatever they’re fighting take control of the entire world. Apparently.
Not a very reassuring thought, but Zernebeth said not to worry about it. She seemed very confident in the abilities of the people handling it. So I suppose I’ll just have to trust they’re competent and won’t fuck this up for everyone.
I suppose they could say the same about us, but I’m confident in our ability to see this through, so I’m not worried on our end. I just don’t like the idea of leaving my potential life or death or freedom or whatever in the hands of utter strangers I don’t even know the capabilities of.
Zernebeth doesn’t seem worried though, and she seems like an intelligent woman—joining an ill-fated league of technofascists aside.
Zernebeth told us she would not be of much help to us at the moment—she was a powerful wizard, but she was currently sans her spellbook. If she could get that back she’d be a force to be reckoned with. For now she just had that blaster gun thing, which apparently had limited uses. I asked Aenland about the guns we’d collected for the rebels, thinking we could give one to her, but apparently he handed them off to Nadya before they separated, and we hadn’t seen hide nor hair of her since then.
In fact, all of our companions who weren’t our core ‘four riders’ were missing. Nadya, Greta, Jadrenka, Cesseer, Anastasia, and Dimitri were all missing without a word.
According to the two rebels Aenland had saved, those who were with them seemed to hear something and then gathered up all the guns they had brought and left for somewhere without an explanation. It sounds like they received a Sending. We’re theorizing it was from Jadrenka, because they were seen leaving with a black-haired half-elf woman—and with her skills Jadrenka could have easily switched out her Winter Witch disguise for a half-elf form to continue keeping a low profile.
Aenland suggested we Sending them. I told the others I could, but I had been planning on saving my uses of Sending today so we could all contact any family members Elvanna might be targeting to warn them. Nestian pointed out that our companions might be in more immediate danger. He said that if it came down to it, he would give up his uses of Sending.
Why does he always do that? Put others first and give up things? Doesn’t he ever get frustrated giving and giving and letting himself get hurt for others and never letting anyone else do the same for him? I don’t understand him. I just don’t.
I agreed, however, since clearly this is what everyone else wanted. We’d do it after we’d talked to Solveig.
Zernebeth seemed legitimately remorseful for the things she’d done in the past. Apparently, whoever was in this elite team had really made an impression on her. She told me that she first thing she was going to do when she got her spellbook back was make it up to Donya—she even had the diamond for it already.
The implication was clear. And that’s, I think, all the motivation any of us need to get her spellbook back. As if getting the help of a powerful wizard wouldn’t have been motivation enough.
That haunt we’d seen all those months ago, of the child who Nazhena had murdered…that all could be wiped away.
Zernebeth said she hoped even though redemption was dead, she could do this much. I told her she didn’t need gods to seek redemption. That’s a bunch of bullshit. If you want to be better, you do it. You don’t wait for a god to tell you it’s time, that’s lazy, that’s just making excuses.
Zernebeth seemed to like that.
As for me…I hope that bringing back that kid will smooth over the lingering sickness I feel every time I think about having worked with Nazhena—even if I only did it to get to Elvanna. I don’t know what all I did back then, how much I helped her when I pretended to be her friend, how much I got my hands dirty to keep the mask firmly in place. I know myself. I know if I had a role to play and I needed to not get caught under any circumstances then I would do whatever I had to in order to play the part—although I might have also done whatever I could to undermine her where possible when in her blind spots.
But since I’ll probably never get my memories back at this point, I’ll never know exactly what I did while rubbing elbows with the most vile people in Whitethrone. I could probably ask Baba Yaga…but I don’t know that hearing it would help any. It’s not productive.
I left Zernebeth to tinker with her gun thing. Aenland went off with Nevra somewhere, and Nestian told Edeya maybe she should go talk to her parents. She agreed, and grabbed Illivor to go catch up with the family she hadn’t seen in years. It’s hard to imagine what she must be feeling right now. I don’t know what I’d been feeling in her shoes.
Nestian and I were alone in the main meeting room. Nestian told me that he had something he needed to talk to me about. He explained there was something he’d left out from his story about meeting his mother’s Eidolon.
When he’d been returning back to reality from wherever he’d met this being, for a moment he saw many white tails.
We only know one person with multiple white tails. Especially someone connected to Nestian’s family in any way.
Nestian told me he’d originally come to the decision that he wasn’t going to kill Master Keisuke. Because I cared about him. He didn’t feel like revenge was worth hurting a friend by taking someone away from them.
But, he said very seriously, if Keisuke has his mother and she’s in danger, he will kill him. That’s different. That’s not revenge. He will do whatever he has to, to protect her. To save her.
I told Nestian I understand, and that he should do what he thinks is right—regardless of how I feel about it. He should go with what he feels he should do.
I’m never going to be happy about having to fight Master Keisuke. I’m never going to want it to come to that. But I understand…to an extent. I don’t understand Nestian foregoing revenge—that’s something I would personally never do. If someone killed a member of my family I would hunt them down and kill them, and if I were feeling particularly vindictive I’d kill their close family too—first, before I kill them, so they’d have to see it. And I don’t put nearly as much weight on family as Nestian does. That’s why Elvanna had better be ready for a storm if she actually touches my family, because she’s not going to break me that way, she’s just going to make me want to be more creative in the ways I kill her and perhaps ways to make her afterlife torment.
…I wonder if a wish that would affect Elvanna’s afterlife would count as a wish for my benefit…I could get very creative with ways to hurt her with a wish…
No I’m not wasting a wish on her.
Anyways…
I don’t understand him foregoing revenge. But I understand that he needs to save his mother. If someone I cared about were in danger, or harmed, I would tear whoever had caused that apart—and I expect no less from others.
Nestian seemed to accept my response. He asked me if I knew where Master Keisuke might be keeping his mother. The only place I could think of was the Nonagon—but if she was there then we had no way to get to her, its wards were far too powerful to try to brute force our way past from what I’d seen the one time I’d been there. I told him I knew of one place, but I didn’t know what the chances were he was holding her there, and if she was there I didn’t have any way to get there. I did tell him that if he wanted me to try speaking to Master Keisuke—maybe gather some information subtly—I can Send him without using any spells, so that option is always open. For the time being, he wanted to be more certain of things before he went that route.
That’s fine, although I will have to Sending Master Keisuke soon enough. He’d requested I reach out when I get back to Golarian. Once I’m not running around like crazy I intend to do so.
Solveig gathered us up shortly after Nestian and I spoke. She told us about the fact the rebels were fairly scattered at the moment—currently it was just the small handful they had here. The Iron Guard had been utterly decimated in the early days of the rebellion, and the other followers of the Everbloom had been scattered to the winds when the last base was compromised. Fortunately for them, Solveig had been granted a vision ahead of time by their patron deity and was able to evacuate and set up shop elsewhere for the handful she was able to track down again—but most of the rebels were scattered.
As for the Crone Queens, they had split Whitethrone amongst themselves and now most of them spent their time in fortified strongholds across the city. Only two could be found outside of strongholds: Vain Betyrina would flit from one social event to another—and kill anyone who dared comment on her desiccated visage—and Desperate Velikas controlled the Royal Library, which was surprisingly still accessible to the public.
The Royal Library was also where Zernebeth’s spellbook would be.
Solveig told us she would have a mission for us later tonight, but we’d have some time to rest before then. She had two powerful associates coming into town we needed to meet up with. A cleric of Cayden Cailean and a warpriest of Calistria. They would be arriving to a Winter Witch bar late this evening. And she expected a fight to break out—apparently trouble had a tendency to follow them.
I asked if a Winter Wolf would be out of place in this bar, and Solveig said they would not be—in fact the prince of the Winter Wolves and his entourage drank there sometimes. I filed that away for later. That would be perfect. I hadn’t planned on using the Rimepelt again without Greta’s go-ahead, but this was not the sort of situation to get caught up in thoughts like that. I was too recognizable without a disguise—and given my skin’s pallor it would take a lot of time and make up to make a passable disguise for me. But I was also the best at talking us into places (and talking us out of trouble). I could use the hat of disguise, but with Winter Witches anyone could have True Seeing on, or a dragon around, or a summon with True Seeing—relying on an illusion was a risk. The Rimepelt was a true transformation—looks, scent, and all from what Greta and Nestian have said. It would be a lot harder for someone to see through that disguise—especially since I know Winter Wolves intimately well at this point.
So we decided that I would go in with Nestian and Edeya, while Aenland, Nevra, Talsune, and Roscoe would wait for a signal on the roof across the street.
But that would come later in the evening.
As we split up to rest, I brought up the Sending spells again. I thought it would be a good idea to message the people who were in danger now. Nestian thought we should start with our missing companions. I agreed seeing as this seemed to be what everyone else wanted.
First I messaged Anastasia—my logic being she was a fairly clear-headed woman, on top of the fact that we desperately needed to know where the heir to the throne was. I asked her very basically where she was and what the plan was.
Unfortunately, I hadn’t taken into account one thing when choosing Anastasia as my target: she doesn’t know anything about magic. Not even the basics everyone in Golarian learns at a young age. Like the fact that a Sending is only 25 words long. (Unless you’re me or Master Keisuke and can bend those rules a little, but that’s a whole different story.)
I had to force me message through some resistance—the feeling of sending a message between planes. So that told us one thing: she was somewhere that wasn’t on this plane.
When Anastasia replied, she rambled on, and only got a little bit of actually relevant information to me. Namely that Baba Yaga had given her instructions to go to some sort of cache, and she didn’t know where she was exactly.
We figured based on what we knew, it was likely that Dimitri, Nadya, and Jadrenka were all with Anastasia. Which meant since I’d already checked in with Greta, only Cesseer was unaccounted for.
Aenland left, uninterested in hearing how Cesseer was doing, because he’s still being a total brat about monks. I messaged Cesseer and received a much more succinct answer from her. I could tell she was still on this plane. And she answered that the mirror had sent her to some sort of arena, possibly a jail of some kind. She was having to fight to survive. She was going to try to bust out when the opportunity presented itself. She was as okay as she could be.
So that’s…not optimal, but she’s in her environment, at least. She’ll be fine until we can find her, I don’t doubt that for a moment.
I conveyed this to Nestian, then asked him if he would like for me to message one of his family members. He told me that Aenland and I still needed to contact our families—he would go after us. I told him he doesn’t always have to sacrifice himself and put others first in every little thing. Nestian argued that his family could take care of themselves the best of ours—my family were just average people, innkeepers not fighters or magic users, not in any way prepared to defend themselves, and Aenland’s mother was in a fragile state. Nestian’s family were bears, and Peanut was apparently a powerful druid in his own right, so they were the best protected.
I wanted to argue. Not because he was wrong but because it bothers me that he keeps doing this. But I didn’t have an argument for that—he was right, loathe as I was to admit it. So instead I took a seat and cast Sending—channeled through the pocket watch for the final time I could this day, to steal away as many words as I could for this message.
To my mother.
I know myself. I wouldn’t have contacted my parents in the last year. The things I had gotten myself into weren’t for them—the life of a partially-undead double agent serving Baba Yaga was an entirely different world from the simple life of an innkeeper my parents were living. It would have been dangerous for them to even know about most of what I was doing. And how would I have explained it anyways?
So I knew as I cast the spell that this would be the first time my mother heard from me in over a year. With no idea I’d been through two deaths, a bout of amnesia, and made the deal to be one of Baba Yaga’s riders twice over in that time.
“I’m sorry I haven’t reached out. I’m fine, but you both need to take shelter. Ustalav was not far enough, Elvana has set her eyes on you.”
It was the best I could do with the words I had.
It only took a moment before I received a reply. I heard a voice I hadn’t heard since leaving for Irrisen, over a year ago. It only felt like a few months ago with my memory loss. It felt like a lifetime ago.
“Calio, it is good to hear from you. We will take shelter in our way. We have enough money for a wand. Will Send if anything occurs.”
That was good. That was exactly what I needed to hear. A tension curling inside that I had barely registered lessened slightly. Slightly. They weren’t safe yet—merely informed. My parents—and my friends’ parents—would not be truly safe until Elvanna had been dethroned.
Nestian pointed me in the direction of Aenland—because of course Aenland had to go first—so I made my way up to the roof where Aenland and Nevra were talking. Nevra asked me about Cesseer, so I told her what I’d learned. Then I told Aenland that I’d finished contacting my mother, and asked him if he’d like to reach out to his.
Aenland gave a bitter laugh and said that even if she were no longer comatose, she wouldn’t want to hear from the runaway who got her husband and favorite daughter killed.
I had nothing to say to that. I don’t know his mother. I couldn’t deny his assumption about how she’d feel, for all I knew he was right. I suppose I could have pointed to the fact he left to get a weapon to end Treerazor’s life rather than ‘running away’, but what difference would those semantics make?
Nevra filled the silence by suggesting we reach out to a Huntmaster instead. So that at least someone was informed of the danger. Aenland reluctantly agreed, and gave me some long-winded elven name with FAR too many titles, which took the combined brain power of both me and Talsune to even try to remember. I’ve already forgotten it. Huntmaster Grell Sun-something-something-shadows-and-something-about-leaves. Anyways I remembered it well enough at the time to get the Sending through. I warned the Huntmaster that foreign assassins from Irrisen’s current regime were targeting Aenland’s family, and to be on the lookout.
I got a very rude reply. This man is fortunate he is all the way in Kyonin, or I would have taught him some manners. He said he doesn’t know who I am, and he doesn’t know why anyone would target Aenland’s family—said in a tone that very much implied he didn’t think highly of my friend. But he agreed to be on guard.
I don’t know if I believe that he will take the threat seriously, given his tone. But I told Aenland that the Huntmaster was informed and would be on guard—and left out how rudely he’d reacted to Aenland’s name.
Aenland apologized for being such a downer. So I told him that he carries his sadness better than most people.
Hell, if he hadn’t said what he did, I wouldn’t have realized just how much all of this weighed on him. He always seems so above it all, so chipper and quick to bounce from one thing to another. It’s easy to forget that his father and sister were killed by Treerazor’s minions, and his mother left comatose. He doesn’t stew in it—at least not openly. If it were me, I’d be consumed by it. I’d throw everything I was into destroying Treerazor and getting sweet vengeance. I don’t think I’d be able to swallow down my anger in the way he somehow masks his sadness behind such a jovial persona.
I don’t know if I said the right thing. He seemed…confused, maybe? I don’t know. Edeya, or even Nestian, would have been better suited for this conversation than me. I don’t know how to comfort people, it’s like speaking a foreign language I never learned and I can’t cast tongues to cheat my way through it. I’ll make observations or point out facts, and sometimes I can think of an observation that might help deescalate someone’s emotions like I did for that lovely gentleman who was going to shoot himself in front of my friends. But comforting someone, trying to just make them feel better, whispering empty promises that everything will be alright and things will get better and ‘you’re going to be okay’, as if you can know that…that isn’t me. I prefer to act and to fix things than to talk about feelings.
As far as Aenland goes, fixing things could either be seeing his mother alive and well—which isn’t a guarantee. Or killing Treerazor and getting his much-deserved revenge. That second one, at least, I can help with. If he doesn’t just run off to do it with his mushroom girlfriend without any help from the rest of us, that is.
Anyways, once I was done Sending the Huntmaster, I returned to Nestian. I told him I had sent every single person we needed to Send except for anyone Nestian wanted to contact. I had two uses of the spell left, just for him.
First Nestian contacted Peanut. He asked for his mother’s and her Eidolon’s names, and let them know she was in danger. Peanut replied that Nestian’s mother’s name was Hilda and the Eidolon was Jiji. There were apparently quite the pair.
Then Peanut told us that he was going to be in town in two days—and that he was finishing this.
Those last words had a biting air of finality to them, and I felt like they were partially aimed at me. Or perhaps, more accurately, at Master Keisuke.
I told Nestian exactly what Peanut told me, not leaving anything out. Then I suggested since he knew his mother’s name now, he could use the final Sending to try to reach out to her.
After some hesitation—some worry she wouldn’t know who he was—he agreed.
He sent a message informing her that it was a message from her son via a friend, and asking where she was and if she was unharmed.
The Sending was received—I am positive it was received. But something kept the receiver from responding. I passed this information on to Nestian. She was alive, I could tell that much, but something was blocking her off from me.
That was enough for him for now.
We parted ways to rest until our evening mission.
That night we made our way to the Winter Witch’s bar. We ran into a patrol, but nothing we couldn’t handle—just some shapechanging golem in the shape of one of the Crone Queens, a couple of ice elementals, and some sorcerers. We got the drop on them and dispatched them without breaking a sweat.
As we neared the bar, I activated the Rimepelt and returned to the Winter Wolf form I’d used last time we’d been in White Throne. I wished it was Greta on my arm instead of Edeya—not that Edeya isn’t a lovely woman, she is incredibly attractive as well. But Greta would have loved kicking up some trouble in a Winter Witch bar.
At Nestian’s suggestion, Edeya and I were pretending to be together, while Nestian—in human guise—played the role of our bodyguard. Edeya joked about me seducing her away from Nestian, but quickly dropped it, saying she was sorry but Nestian was more her type.
I would hope so, seeing as Nestian is literally her boyfriend.
Not that I’d say no if the idea of having a third were ever floated, but neither of them strike me as the sorts who are into that sort of thing.
Anyways, we walked right up to the bouncer like we belonged there. He stopped us, noting that he’d never seen us around before. I told him that I was just in from Red Tooth. Edeya added that she was showing me the sights. Nestian remained silent—the picture of a strong and stoic bodyguard.
The bouncer gave us a once over, then stepped aside. He let me know that some of the patrons were a bit jumpy about Winter Wolves being in their wolf form in the bar, so it would be best if I stayed in human form. Although the venue was a popular place for the prince of the Winter Wolves and his entourage to make an appearance, so Winter Wolves were hardly a rare or unexpected sight there. As we walked past, he asked if we were here for the VIP event. I didn’t dare ask about it and risk blowing our cover, so I simply smiled and said of course.
Our little trio made a bee-line for the bar. I subtly scanned the room as we walked. There were a number of Winter Witches here, as well as an unexpectedly high number of Ice Devils which appeared to be for protection and intimidation purposes. By a back wall there was a curtain that seemed to lead back to some sort of VIP area, and two blonde brutes were standing guard.
In the middle of the bar was a man who seemed to be having an animated conversation with some admirers, a mug of alcohol in one hand and a small glass of wine on the table. I pegged the Caleanite immediately. He looked like a fun guy to have a chat with.
In a dark private corner of the room an elven woman was sitting with a man at her arm. She looked closed off and uninviting.
I knew who I was going to talk to first.
When we got to the bar Edeya ordered herself some wine, and me spiced wine, with a wink saying she knew it was my favorite. She’d taken note of Greta’s preferences, it seemed. I don’t know if ALL Winter Wolves favor spiced wine, necessarily. But I will say I’ve certainly gotten a taste for it, drinking with Greta, so Edeya wasn’t entirely wrong either way.
I took my glass when it was brought to me, and then made my way to the Caileanite’s table, taking a seat across from the man without waiting for an invitation. The man greeted me jovially, introducing himself as Joseph Molot, and I greeted him in kind, noting that he seemed to be the life of the party. We had a little back and forth—it may have dipped into a hint of flirting, it’s a bar these things happen—but it was purely for show, to keep suspicions low—as I reached out to his mind and telepathically told him that I knew he was here for the resistance. His grin grew at that, as he responded by saying his ‘little flower’ was reaching out.
He sent his admirers away, telling them to go ahead and get another drink at the bar. I asked him what brought him here, exactly? He told me that he knew that the big man himself was going to be here, so this is where he was going to be. He asked, what about me? Did I ‘ride’ here? I gave a sharp grin at how much he knew—or had surmised—and confirmed his guess.
Then Joseph decided he was going to stir up the hornet’s nest a bit. Make things a little more interesting before we left. He got up onto the stage, where some band or another was playing, and clinked his glass to get the room’s attention as he made a toast. He toasted to this fine city, thank goodness the riots had been quelled so soon so they could keep the downtrodden populace beneath them. And to Queen Elvanna—may she choke on her own blood.
I couldn’t help but grin at the immediate effect that single curse had on the room. Everyone froze. The Winter Witches rose from their seats, hands going to their wands. The two blonde brutes began cracking their knuckles. The Ice Devils didn’t seem to react—but I suspected they were buzzing with anticipation as well. I stood, drinking down the last of my wine and then dropping the glass to the floor as Joseph asked if it was something he said.
No one knew I was on his side yet. I could work this to my advantage.
A moment later the woman from the corner of the bar stormed up onto the stage. The woman began telling him off about the things he’d said—saying she couldn’t believe he’d say such things and get everyone all riled up…without her. In the blink of an eye there was a whip in her hand, glowing with some sort of greenish light.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nestian and Edeya approaching me. Nestian was motioning for me to use the Stone of Farspeech. So I did, telling Aenland up on the roof that shit had just gone down. Although I’m sure Talsune was already well aware and on his way to swoop in and join me for this brawl.
Someone charged the stage and all hell broke loose.
And as it did, the curtains to the VIP suite opened.
And out stepped Vain Betyrina—one of the remaining ten Crone Queens, asking who had dared crash her party.
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Misc: Small changes on my page
Maybe I'm the only one that's super attached to my pfp now HAHAHA
It's one of my favorite pictures of Juice. Dude was just chilling Plus the hoodie cool I woulda jacked TF out that mess if I ever met him in person. I dont even care. It could be a whole ass concert going on and if I woulda saw it I would be TELEPORTING to get that shit 💀💀💀
Anyway, I'm gonna change it something different. It's a favorite sure but I feel like it's hard to tell it's him + it's not centered and that been annoying me ever since I noticed
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it'll be between these. uhh i don't know how I'm gonna choose but I will eventually. don't ask me why I have that many pictures of him cause I couldn't even tell you LMAOO
Ah this is gon sound so pathetic and I know I'm partially this hype about him cause it's become something me and R mutually enjoy but I wish I coulda met him. I won't lie to me his music isn't so so groundbreaking as some make it out to be imo. But even with that.. I dunno. It was nice to hear something negative about drugs for once you know? A lot of artists I listen to that talk about that sort of thing make it like its a flex. Not to say he doesn't lmao. But I like that I can listen to one song about him acting like codeine is the most amazing substance ever known to man but within the next song acknowledge that his addiction is a problem even with it feeling like its helping.
Plus, I appreciate the variety in his sound. I feel there's this weird.. standard? i dunno. Im used to the sad songs always having to be slow and traditional instruments and all that. I like that I can jump into a slow song about him thinking about his past and then the next I can go into a hype song about him needing to change before its too late
I'm not religious atp and maybe I just haven't found the religion that speaks to me. But if the Christians were right about there being a second world where everyone just chills for the rest of eternity, I hope I can see him there. His songs mean a lot to me now. Some of being small, some of it being a huge part of me now, but overall I just wish I could give him my words of appreciation
Shit makes me really sad. I wish he would've had more time in the spotlight. He's still a household name anyway but it sucks that he can't see just how big he is nowadays
ah see this is why I never talk about why I like Juice cause everytime I do I circle back to him going too soon and I tear up. I'm glad he got to live a cushy life for a little bit at least. I know he got hella money just from Lucid Dreams alone
HA aww that reminds me of this one interview where he was just like.. yeah.. that shit wasn't a big deal like hat 💀
LIKE??'
mf you made one of the most iconic and recognizable songs of our gen and you gon fr say that
He also said he ain't even like the song like that but that I can't fault him on. He didn't get enough time to show his full scope smh. I wish he couldve made ore stuff so he could move past the dude-that-made-Lucid-Dreams title he had
I've gotten better with it but it's still CRUSHING to think about. Shit is still mindboggling
Edit: I ended up coming across this picture and it made the choice obvious. I feel like I don't have too too many pictures of him cheesing so it's always stood out to me. I remember at the time I didn't even like land of darkness like that but I kept listening to it cause the picture was so sweet. Dude looked hella happy :)
Tho.. mb for lying. was not the plan T^T
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koishua · 1 month
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i promise you the moon has plans for you, she'll bring happiness to your heart and make you forget all your worries. even if it takes time, i know that the world is full of beautiful things to offer you, to let you discover, to show you. in the meantime, keep in a corner of your beautiful mind, that i'm here and i love you. (i'm doing fine even if life is a bit tiring lately, but seeing flowers appear little by little on the branches of the trees makes my days less tiresome)
you think so kindly of others. thank you so much i don't know how else to respond to your message other than this really it's mindboggling knowing that you're an actual person behind the screen im writing through. i hope spring brings life back into your difficult days. you brought me just as much joy as the rare appearance of the sun does in the dead of european winter :( it'll be alright eventually
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somnolent-sparrow · 7 months
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Lilith's Challenge Day 1 attempt 1
You don't even have to read the full post do you? "Attempt 1"? Well that just says it all doesn't it. But I shouldn't skip ahead too much now.
So I saw a couple posts of people struggling with this fun little kinky challenge from @lilithtransrights, and thought: "hm, that sounds fun, I don't know what the big deal is". I was wrong, soooo wrong. 5 edges a day 20 days, no finishing. Simple in theory, delightfully difficult in practice. So here's the story of how I failed:
I decided to lay a towel down and straddle my yoga ball in front of my computer. I'm not that messy, I just like minimizing cleanup. I like to listen to something spicy when I'm going at it, and I had just found a delightful edging mantra audio . "Good girls don't think. Good girls obey. Good girls rub their minds away."
By the second edge the mantra was very appropriate. The closer I got to the edge the more careful I had to be. I wasn't stoking anymore but rubbing with two fingers, bumping the underside of my head with my palm on every rub. And that's when things started to go wrong. The same post with the challenge had a link to lilith's literotica account, and gosh she just had to write a story about someone going through the same challenge, finishing the same challenge. That wasn't what pushed me over the edge, not yet.
After three edges I took a small breather, I had finished with her short story, and wanted to find something more visual to rub to. Switching to another tab and r/transhenti was at the top of my reddit feed, the 'Wholesome Kinky' tag in fact. Something you should know about me, petplay, hypnotism, drones? Yeah, big turn on, and with one click I had a buffet in front of me.
That was probably a bad idea in hindsight, I should have stopped at three and continued later. I got sloppy, it was only one ore two rubs between edge and ruin after all. I was very disappointed in myself when I looked down and saw a trail of white, I had only gotten to 3 edges, I should have been able to do better than that!
I should probably say now that I've added an extra rule to my attempt. If I fail not only do I have to start the 20 days start over, I have to Empty myself.
So… I guess it was fun-ishment time. I kept going. 1 more ruin, the twitches a bit more forceful showing that I was getting sloppy, but even then I didn't stop, I wasn't Empty yet. Over sensitized, feelings blurring the line between pleasure and pain I kept rubbing. Mantras blurred in my ears, "Good girls don't think. Good girls obey. Good girls rub their minds away." rub rub pant rub pant rub… release.
It was wonderful, it was horrible, pleasure tickling and popping along my skin, muscles pulled tight, twitching. This wasn't a ruin, it was too powerful for that, but it wasn't sunshine and roses. Only a couple drops came out this time, but it was the most intense, too intense, all I was left to do was clench my thighs around the yoga ball and rock my way through the feelings.
Eventually, when the lightest brush stopped sending shocks of painpleasurepain down my spine I was able to get up.
So 3 edges, 2 ruins, and one mindboggling orgasm. It looks like I get to reset the counter and try again later. I can understand why another person had to resort to chastity later in the challenge. October does start in 2 days, so it would be very on brand for me to follow suit.
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littlealeta · 2 years
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reading thru ur blog and mainly ur r&m posts/rbs is so. 😨😨😨😟😟 i had the most concerned expression on my face the entire time. why do u even watch this show or engage in the fandom if u hate it so much. like……. why do you hate summer and morty so much too??? 😭 you baffle me man. what is going ON with you. im pretty sure most of the fandom has u blocked as well its so insane. ur critique and analysis of the show is mindboggling. u make people uncomfortable abt how intense u are with ur opinions on these Teenage Characters.
Okay I'm going to get personal here.
I used to think the show was decent back in season 1 and 2 because I just have a thing for sad, traumatized assholes like Rick. Rick is my special interest. I also have OCD which is why when the show went downhill, I'm having a hard time letting go of it unless I find another show/movie/game to obsess over. I've been looking a little bit for other interests and there are a few that I got a bit fixated on but I can't seem to replace Rick and Morty with them. I get scared to watch movies and shows because they tend to cause me anxiety like Rick and Morty do.
I don't exactly know why I hate teenagers and kids and people in general so much. Maybe it's because I've been home-schooled for most of my life and haven't interacted with peers much. Maybe it's because of family values about wanting to be around positivity (even though I'm often negative about the stuff I watch). Maybe it's because I grew up watching wholesome kids films where most protagonists are wholesome (although i can enjoy adult films too though i usually tend to avoid many of the meanspirited adult western cartoons and anime as they tend to be too dramatic). Maybe it's because my mom and schools were harsh on me growing up and I picked up on it and decided to be harsh on other people. Personal stuff. I think it's because I often just don't understand why they act the way they do. They often act selfish for very selfish and unreasonable reasons even when they should know better. Like doing things that risk their lives or break laws. I've never been a wild teenager and was very close to family members unlike many teens. People are assholes and the characters in the show are all assholes so I don't know why you people are baffled about me hating them? I hate crying. I think it's a weak thing that should only be done alone and when you're around people, you should stay strong which is why I hate how much of a crybaby Morty has become. He's always open about his emotions. It's always been scary to show vulnerability to people.
But may I ask what are you confused/disagreeing about in regards to my critiques and analysis?
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writingonesdreams · 2 years
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What I learned from“A Little Life”
This books felt traumatizing and life changing. It’s hard for me to describe what I’m feeling, because after the onslaught of suffering and feels I just feel numb after finishing.
The writing is unique. It’s filled with long sentences and descriptions of places in incredible detail and vivid metaphors. Marvelous how much you can explain a feeling through metaphors. It felt more engaging and understandable and horrific to imagine the metaphors as feelings instead of figuring out what the bodily sensations were supposed to mean.
The long sentences help with the feel like you are inside the character’s thoughts. As they come, long, illogical, associative. It felt incredibly immersive and it makes the book powerful for it. It’s almost impossible to put down, once you get charmed, and I kept coming back to it, despite knowing it would only get painful and frustrating as it went.
The honesty of those thoughts. I believed this was a deep true insight into someone’s head, because the thoughts were at times very difficult, dark, selfish, unfair, honest. Or about people being honest about not being honest and how they felt and achieved their hidden honesty. Mindboggling.
The structure and choice of pov really hightlights how much can be done through literary means to tell the story you want to tell. How much you can use storytelling devices to strenghten and express what you want. The structure was so untypical, so misleading on purpose, it was excellent and changes how I see structure in books. Beginning, middle, end, what characters you introduce, what you zoom in, what you promise and who you actually deliver being played with, subversed, turned on its head. Totally different than the schemas most writing advice teaches. It really is for beginners I guess. Masters know how to break it to their advantage.
Setting. Pov. Voice. Tense. Form. Prose. Flashbacks. Chronology. Everything was so different, breaking rules, jumping around, being unpredictable but then coming together for a united whole.
I have been attracted to this book for its promise of close male friendships and pain that would get comfort. The book delivers and exceeds any limit, throws itself into tragedy and meaninglessness agony and living with it, but the author had very clear messages and themes in mind. She knew what she wanted to say. I realize now my frustration comes with disagreeing with lots of it. But that’s what books, are right? Not here to tell the one and only universal truth, but to explain and argue a point of view. An opinion. An option for living and seeing life. I understand and felt the argument and I still choose to disagree and that’s all right and good.
But it was incredibly insightful. There are wisdoms about human life, one so deep it gave me a puzzle piece I longed for for a very long time.
This book changed how I view pain. Not just a plot device, not just a moment in character life or point in their arc, but as state. Pain can be a state of being, physical, mental and emotional, social and personal, past and present. Pain doesn’t have to be just a singular occaurnce, something to get rid of, it can be chronic, long lasting, spiralling, a way and part of life.
The statement I guess that’s about radical and a bit hard to live with and I’m not sure what to think about. That some things will stay broken. That a person you love can be sick and never get better. And you can give them all the love and care and effort you have and more and it might not be enough and if doesn’t have anything to do with you. Some things just can’t be fixed.
The bonds of friendship. I liked how it got celebrated and centered on, even if I felt a bit betrayed they made Willem and Jude have a romantic relationship in the end after all. But it was an interesting study of the difference and transformation from friendship to romance. What changes, when you have already been close and known each other for decades? What changes from one kind of love to another? Expectations from the outside? That people can’t justify the time and effort you spend on friendships and need labels like romantic partners and family?
It was beautiful though, how the characters made thier own rules. How the four core friends never had kids and most didn’t marry, being sustained emotionally by their friendships. That friendship can be that close and nutricious and life-defining.
The theme of how no person can give you everything. How hard, embarrassing and stressful it can be to get close to someone, so who is worth such an effort? Being with others is in some ways do much harder than being alone. Why do we do it? What do we look for in others that we can’t find in ourselves? What do we give them? How do we find people who appreciate the best of what we give, give what we need back and we all value the same things enough to stay together and look for the mixing pieces somewhere else?
What I didn’t like about the opinions of this book was that comfort and deep affection only came with great pain. As if only horrendous suffering justified men in crying, needing touch and comfort and allowing themselves to get any. 
Other thing I was confused about was what Jude and Willem changed about their relationship, when it went from friendly to romantic. In a way the narrative defined deficencies of friendship, while preaching about its uniqueness and importance. So men are not allowed to touch and be that comfortable and physically intimate with each other, not allowed to randomly hug or sleep beside each other or snuggle, when it’s not with their romantic partner? I thought the shift would be mainly sexual, and that aspect gets thematized (and is hard and troublesome for Jude’s trauma about it and his unwilligness to disclose his suffering about it to Willem to not lose him to percieved societal obligations). I don’t know what exactly it is that I’m looking for, but I found it lacking in this story, despite its focus on friendship. 
I don’t get where the characters got so much time from. They managed to work overtime, cook too much, play instruments, meet friends, have fancy dinners and meetings, visit threathers and art, travel, have introspective debates about life, watch movies, drive long and slow, swim in the morning for two hours, regulalry visit doctors, work through the weekend, buy several apartments, reconstruct them and then build a whole new house…like what? That’s not humanly possible to achieve. I’m either that bad at time management, or the characters had way too much energy or the author didn’t really check how much hours a day has. 
All in all, this was a powerful book and I can see why it’s called a modern day classic, why it won awards, why it is so popular. I don’t regret reading. I don’t think I would do it again though. I want to read more famous and awarded books, want to observe masters at the craft of writing, but I don’t want it to be tragic and hopeless like these. Why do so many classics end tragically? Is there nothing deep about life than suffering and bathing in its pointlessness?
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