#the sun burns my heart and the sand hurts my feelings | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

my-love-is-sunlight · 16 days

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Bathing suit

Sanji x reader

Warnings: afab reader, comfort fluff but a little suggestive, CW reader is not comfortable with her body so she talks terrible about it (don’t worry this has a happy ending)

Word count: 1.6k

Summary: In which you hate how you look in your bathing suit and Sanji comforts you

Masterlist

It was a hot sunny day, the waves of the ocean made their way to the shore in a calm rhythm, so steady that the Strawhats found themselves having to dock on the beach for the day, awaiting for the ocean’s ferocity to comeback so they could sail away to continue their adventure

A day in the beach, everyone was more than happy for the idea. Having to spend your days at sea with the same faces looking back at you every waking moment could be a little nagging, having this time to unravel and enjoy the beauty of the island was something everyone looked forward to. Franky and Ussop had even set up an improvised tiki bar, just an excuse for Sanji to make everyone drinks really

And there he was, mixing up a fruit drink that he handed Nami which she took gratefully, before making her way back to her assigned place under an umbrella besides Robin. A smile was quick to make its way to the cooks face, everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, wether it be savoring his drinks, fooling around in the ocean or constructing an impressive sand castle near the shore

But his smile was quick to fade when he noticed you were nowhere to be found, how strange. Earlier that day, when Luffy happily shared the news of how the crew was going to spend the day, he clearly recalled your enthusiastic response, happy to finally have some sand under your feet and enjoy a relaxing day under the beaming sun; so… where were you?

Worry seemed to be building up on Sanji’s core when he asked about your whereabouts and no one really knew where or what were you doing

“Last time I saw her she was getting ready, said she’d catch up to us” Robin commented, which did nothing to ease his worries since that had happened when you had just docked

“I’m just going to make sure she’s ok” Sanji said after taking a drag of his cigarette that burned hastily under his fingertips. Robin smiled and nodded, knowing that whatever it was, Sanji would take good care of it

So he looked for you, all over and under The Sunny, but it seemed like you had dissipated into thin air, that was until he heard a sob reverb from behind the girls quarters door. Thinking something absolutely terrible and unthinkable had happened to the sweet sweet you, Sanji kicked open the door, making you jump out of your skin as his eyes examined the room

When he saw you, eyes puffy, nose red, wrapped under a blanket looking like a sad wet dog Sanji found himself stunned, glad you were in one piece, but his heart breaking at your sight

“My dear… what happened?” You stayed in place, only answering with a sad sob and a shiver, the blonde eased his position, softening as he approached gently “dear?”

“Nothing… I’m just, not feeling well” Sanji had never seen you like this, in his eyes you were a strong and brave woman that carried herself proudly, to see you so vulnerable made his heart clench. Hesitantly, he sat at your side of your bed, his eyes never leaving your form, taking note of your fingertips dragging your tears away in a hurry. A salience fell, deafening as you fought back the pain blossoming form your being, hiding into yourself

“Are you sure?” A sigh left your lips, your eyes watering meeting his blue worried ones, you shook your head slowly

“Do you want to talk about it?” His voice was barely a whisper, as if afraid you’ll get scared and run away again. You stayed still for a moment, hesitant but too hurt to even deny, you nodded shutting your eyes as new tears peeked at the sides

Sanji scooted closer, his hand reaching for your back rubbing confronting circles “I feel disgusting”- your voice came out broken and tired.- “I look so bad in my bathing suit, nothing like Nami and Robin… why am I like this?”

Every single word that came out of your mouth was like a dagger hitting Sanji’s stomach repeatedly, hurting him like nothing had ever before and leaving him confused

Every since Sanji had landed his eyes on you, he was absolutely star struck. He swears he had never crossed paths with someone like you, your beauty beyond compare. Sure he was known for his admiration for women and tossing around the word perfect almost to every single one he met, but you? Perfect was not enough of a word; it was not only your dazzling beauty with your star lit eyes and your addictive smile framed by those soft lips of yours, your sun kissed skin and your free hair waved by the ocean’s breeze the only thing leaving him breathless, it was your heart, your bravery and kindness that you always extended towards the people around you, your soul was even far more precious than anything Sanji had ever encountered in the vastness of the sea

It was really confusing to know that you couldn’t see what he did

An incredulous “What?”- was the only thing that slipped from his mouth at the idea of it, your eyes turning confused just as he was

“But, you’re gorgeous” Sanji expressed without hesitation, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, as if stating a clear fact

“You’re just saying that to be nice” he immediately shook his head repeatedly, his hands reaching to hold yours in hopes you’ll understand

“I mean it!”

“You don’t have to pretend, I know loving every woman on earth is part of who you are but be honest with me Sanji. I am not as skinny or gracious as all the girls you fawn over, I am not the kind of girl someone double takes at-“ you paused your rambling when you were met with something you had never seen before, Sanji was upset… upset with you; angry eyes piercing you in place, holding his breath hoping that the words you used to talk about yourself would stop flowing out of your mouth, he was fuming

“Sanji?” His strong grip shifted from your hands to your shoulders, blue eyes full of determination burning right into yours but not a word was spoken. The cook knew if he was to spill every thought that swam around his mind right now it would only bring to the surface his clear love for you, a feeling he had tried to bury deep down on his being and failing every time you’ll cross his line of vision; regardless, he weighs his options, you deserved better than him he said to himself but… maybe he wanted to be selfish

“Darling, it’s true… you’re not like Nami or Robin, but that’s exactly why you’re so…”- his heart jumped to his throat as he tried to get his words out, desires being held back by a thin rope about to snap.- “so perfect” Sanji’s words echoed trough the room, blush settling on top of your tear stained cheeks, but still you doubted him

“I am no-“

“Y/N!” he shook your shoulders in hopes you’ll come back to yourself

“You think I’m lying? Look!” You stood up getting away from his grip and tossing the blanket that shielded your body aside, opening your arms as you showed your bathing suit “My belly looks so bad, my thighs are huge and I have marks all over and…” your voice faded as Sanji admired you from his seat, ogling you form head to toe, his heart went from his throat to the floor reddening his face and hitching his breath

Fuck it

The cook stood up just to fall on his knees immediately after; there he was in front of you, his hands on your plum thighs as pure adoration looked back at you -“If you only knew what you do to me” your pink tinted cheeks turned red at his words and your heartbeat went wild, threatening to make your heart jump out of your ribcage. His slender hands touched your cold skin with pure devotion burning themselves into you, his eyes made another roll of your figure taking in every detail he was able to as he remained close. Sanji’s grip faltered only to move his hands around your legs, savoring the way your skin felt under his fingertips; his hands reached near your bottom making you jump immediately pulling his hands back to your thighs

“SORRY!” He exclaimed as his mind catches up with the actions of his body, hand pulling away from you leaving you cold.- “You’re just so… unreal”

There it was again, that twinkle in his eyes that made its appearance whenever he glanced at you, beaming over your insecurities and making them disappear on its wake, but why? why you? In your eyes you were just pathetic but for him… you were everything

“Sanji” you called and he answered without a doubt, raising to his feet as he awaited for your words.- “Do you mean it”

Finally, a shadow of a smile casted on your lips, melting the cook in a puddle at your feet, but he managed to not crumble because he needed to answer

“Sweetheart, theres so much more I want to say to you and nothing would be enough to show you how crazy you make me” hearing the thrumming in his chest sparked the idea to maybe just show you. Again, his hand took one of yours in his and placed in on his chest, there it was clear as day, his heart jumping around because of you… for you

You flushed at the feeling, another smile gracing Sanjis view as you thanked him in a whisper, both of your gazes staring back at each other lost on the feeling of one another, awaiting for time to take you

“I feel so much better now” taking advantage of your position, you jumped on the cooks arms, wrapping yourself on his tall frame smiling like an idiot which Sanji welcomed happier than ever, you body melting into his in a sweet hug that he would forever remember

“Glad to be of service”

—————————

This was supposed to be a prompt with several characters but I got carried away… anyways Laws version is in the making

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lauriegraham01 · 10 months

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forever & always | erik lehnsherr

pairings: erik x reader, (cherik x reader if you squint)

summary: it's been years since erik abandoned you on the sands on cuba. when fate - or rather a friend from the future, logan - steps in and forces your paths to cross, what feelings will ensue?

w/c: 2,272

a/n: follows the events shown in days of future past, inspiration drawn from "forever & always" by taylor swift. been working on this one for the past week, apologies for the delay, life can be cruel but the storm only lasts one night.

The brightness of the sun was blinding as its rays bleed through the curtains of your room, shining in your eyes prompting you to wake up with a groan. Reaching out for Charles youre disappointed as you feel nothing but the cold sheets where his side of the bed laid empty. A headache settles in within your head, throbbing unforgivably. As you look over to your nightstand you read your clock.

2:47 p.m. Another day wasted away in bed.

You had gotten little sleep the night before. Scenes of sand plaguing you in your dreams echoing the trauma from all that you've lost.

You're on a beach in a Cuba. You don't know yet that it's the end of the world- the end of your world. Black spots cloud your vision. You're losing too much blood. Footsteps staggered as your breathing comes out labored- trying to make sense of what happened.

Erik.

Charles and you had been caught in the crossfire of his war against humans and now you both were paying the price for it.

"Erik?!" Your voice rings clear in his head. He exhales a shaky breath, one that he can't seem to breathe out enough. Charles laid in his arms paralyzed and betrayed. His heart broken at the pain he's caused and remorse washes over him as he sees the man in his grasp slips further away into a world of unfathomable pain. Leaving Charles within Moira's grasp he then makes his way to you. Discarding his metal helmet in the process.

"Y/N." Erik cautiously places his hands at your side. Taking in how much blood seeped through your suit.

“Erik what’s happened to Charles? Is he alright?" With eyes widened, you wait for him to bring some clarity to the chaos that happening.

“Y/N stop. You’re losing too much blood," Erik said carefully. Looking down he sees your hand pressed to your side. Carefully lifting it, he lets out a sharp gasp as he sees the tear in your suit where the bullet pierced your skin.

A choked cough escapes your lip as a bit of blood rushes through the side of your mouth. You feel your knees buckle underneath you and Erik catches you in time, placing you in his arms as you both sink to the sand.

“Erik?” Your voice rings within his head, even telepathically your voice sounds strained, hurt. “Did you do this?”

"I’m sorry, my love,'" it comes out a whisper. Even without your powers you knew exactly where his mind was at. By the solemn expression on his face and the distant look in his eyes you knew that he was leaving.

"Erik, please," you plead.

"I can't stay here. Look at all that I've caused."

"Erik, don't do this. Stay."

"I cant." He says through gritted teeth, the pain sharp on his tongue like a blade.

"You can. You have a family here, you have people who care and love you- I love you Erik."

His face was taut, twisted in a sea of emotions as he thought of the path that he was walking down- and the love that he would lose in the process.

"This is a war that I have to fight alone. I have to go down a road that you can't follow me on."

"Erik, please." You place a hand on his cheek and he closes his eyes and lets out a heavy sigh. Burning the feel of your touch for what he believes would be the last time.

"I'm sorry my love."

He takes your hand and places a kiss onto it before walking away, fading into view with your heart breaking with every step he takes.

"Charles?" You call to him like a ship lost at sea.

"I'm right here. I'm right here darling." His voice rings out softly in your head. By the labors of his breath you know that he's fighting through his pain. You shiver as you feel a coldness drape over you, slumping further into the sand as exhaustion wins its fight over you.

“I’m scared.”

"Stay with me. We'll make it through this together." Charles voice fades out as your vision fades to black.

It truly was a miracle that you even pulled through at all. Hank managing to save you within an inch of your life. An unpleasant feeling sits deep in your stomach as you try to shake off the scenes replaying in your head. Before the guilt of wasting the day away consumes you, you rise up out of bed and make way for the kitchen. The halls were quiet now, faded were the days where students once roamed freely. When the war in Vietnam began, students and teachers alike were being drafted and many never returned home. Wallowing in his grief, Charles closed the doors to the school.

So you and Hank stayed behind in the mansion. Hank tinkered away on his own plans and research and you remained by Charles side as you both tried to process and move through each others grief. When Hank created a serum that gave Charles the ability to use his legs again you had thought things would get better, but time would reveal how wrong you were. Things ultimately took a turn for the worst, as Charles became dependent on the serum and became an alcoholic, he had turned into a version of himself that you never thought possible. He was short-tempered and full of rage at any given moment. Hank got the worst of it, and at times you thought about leaving but you knew that you wouldn't- Charles knew that you couldn't.

Yet, it would be wrong to put the entire blame on Charles for the way things were. The truth was that you too had turned to your vices to quiet the voices within your own head. Falling in love with little thin white lines and drowning yourself in the bottom of bottles, you too had spiraled into your own world of self-destruction just as Charles had. Your relationship hadn't necessarily been the most stable it's been either. It seemed that you and Charles were constantly at each's others throat nowadays but it wasn't always bad days. Despite the screaming matches, both of us turning to our vices, there was still something tethering us together-whether it be love or a trauma bond was becoming unclear as time passed.

As you enter the kitchen, you note the bottles and needles still littering the kitchen table. Charles must've been up all night-again. Fancying a tea you turn the stove on as you fill a kettle with water. you feel the house rumble just a bit. Looking towards the ceiling you can make out heavy footsteps as though someone were being chased. Just then a yell can be heard following a hard crash. Following the source of the disturbance, you enter the foyer where Charles, Hank, or rather Beast, and a strange man come into view.

"Charles? What's going on here?" Making your way across to the staircase where Charles sat on.

"Nothing darling this gentlemen was just leaving," with a scotch in hand he waves to the strange man.

"Afraid I can't do that because I was sent here for you." Taking a closer look at him you note that he's rather tall. He carries himself confidently, head held high in his brown leather jacket.

"Well tell whoever it was that sent you that I'm...busy," Charles trails off.

"That's gonna be a little tricky because the person who sent me here...was you."

"What?" Charles and I let out simultaneously.

"About fifty years form now. Look I kno-I know, stay with me," he pleads with us.

"Excuse me?" Crossing your hands over your chest you look over to Charles and you both share a puzzling look before facing the stranger in front of you again.

"Fifty years from now like in the future fifty years from now ?" Charles quips.

"Yeah."

"I sent you from the future," Charles asks amused.

"Yes, Charles," he says with a roll of his eyes, growing aggravated by our refusal to believe him.

"Piss off," Charles spits bitterly.

"Charles..." you place a hand on his shoulder.

"If you had your powers you'd know I was telling the truth."

With that you use your powers to enter his mind, not expecting what was awaiting you. Hazed memories of the man you now know is Logan, consumed your senses as you traveled within his world of memories. Fear melted on your tongue as you saw the horrors of the reality that the future held, pain and genocides lurking within every corner and within the midst of it-hope. Hope that the future could be rewritten. Voices and faces so familiar yet so unknown, as though you've known them, a version of them.

Leaving his mind, you stumble as you adapt back to this reality, piecing together the meaning behind Logan's memories. Charles immediately stands up to catch you before you fall.

"y/n?" Charles calls, voice shaky as he holds you. Your breath comes out shaky as you cling to him for support. "Charles he's not CIA." Looking up at Logan he meets your gaze with understanding eyes, grateful that now someone believes him.

"y/n-" Hank calls out doubtfully.

"Hank, I know what I saw," you affirm sternly.

"Are you alright? What are you talking about?" Charles desperately searches your eyes for some kind of clarity.

"I'm fine, Charles. He's not CIA or FBI. I got in his head and I-", the words seem to die on your tongue. How do you explain what you saw without seeming mental? "I saw you...but older. From the future."

You swallow the lump within your throat. Charles furrows his eyes in confusion, not knowing what to make of your revelation.

"Erik too. I saw all of us, together preparing for what I fear may be our doom."

From then you managed to convince Charles and Hank that Logan was indeed telling the truth and that he needed our help in ensuring the survival of mutants. The four of you ventured on the plan that Charles, from the future, had set out. Which led you to where you were right now, on a plane seated next to Charles with Erik in front of you. Breaking him out of the Pentagon had been no easy task, but with the help of a new speedster friend, the lot of you succeeded with somewhat minimal damage in the process.

"y/n I-"

"Shut up," you cut Erik off.

He puffs out a defeated sigh as he looks up at you with those pleading eyes of his. You had imagined what it would be like to see Erik again. You spent the best of years waiting for him to come back, to fix what he had broken. You knew you should've given up when news got out of his attempted assassination of the president, but it was moot. A part of you still loved Erik, a part of you still saw the good in him.

"Look I want to apologize for what I did."

"For what exactly? Cause there's a long list of things left unsaid," Charles shoots back bitterly.

"Charles" you mutter and he backs down. You know how hard this is for him too, seeing Erik. Having him within arms reach yet him being worlds away from the man that you two knew and loved.

"He's right," Erik says sitting upright in his seat, "I did things and people got hurt in the process."

Your eyes look sharp and steady into the empty parts of him, heart heavy with the hatred of his own beliefs and the pain that its inflicted.

“I’m sorry Charles for what happened, I truly am. Not a day passed where I let myself forget it, I never meant to hurt you."

The anger practically radiates off Charles as his leg anxiously bounces even faster. He then climbs up from his seat before storming off passing you and Erik until he disappears from view.

"He'll come around," you mutter.

"I know," Erik sighs. "Charles has a flair for the dramatics."

Your lips betray you as they curl into a small smile. Locking eyes with him you feel the guard you had fought so hard you built to distance yourself from him, rumble threatening to drop into ash.

"I missed you everyday, y/n."

"Erik please-"

"I couldn't escape you even if i tried. You know that better than I do."

"I thought I knew you, now I'm not so sure," you whisper barely loud enough for Erik to register.

Slumping further into his seat, the guilt settles deeper in his bones. He knows he'll never forgive himself for what he did that day on the beach. Yet, sitting here in front of you he wants nothing more than to be able to be loved by you again.

"I couldn't save you.." he croaks. Eyes glossy as tears began to pool his eyes.

"That didn't mean you had to go. Erik, we could've fought through it, together."

“I was too blind to see that I hurt the ones I love. I carry the weight of my crimes every day."

"You don't have to carry it alone." Hesitantly you reach your hand across to grab his. He's still warm to the touch just as you remembered, rubbing smooth circles over his knuckles with your thumbs, you savor the feel of him, having been deprived of it for so long.

"There's still time to make things right."

"I'd like that." Bringing your interlocked hand to his lips he places a kiss on top of your knuckles.

#erik lehnsherr x reader #magneto x reader #magneto imagine #cherik x reader #charles xavier x reader #charles xavier #erik lehnsherr #xmen #xmen movies #marvel #xmen fanfiction #marvel fanfiction

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slvthrs · 11 months

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ALL THE THINGS WE NEVER SAID | vinnie hacker

— MINORS PLEASE FUCK OFF FOR UR OWN GOOD —

after 3 years you finally reunite with vinnie but it's not how you would like

OLD BSF!VINNIE X FEM!READER

WARNINGS: NSFW CONTENT MINORS DNI, ANGSTY, + some fluff, sex, alcohol ment, drug use (weed), making out, grinding, praise kink, emotional cheating idk, slight possessiveness

word count: 2.5k <3

The air is so salty on LA beaches.

It burns the inside of my throat whilst chlorine fills up my nose and salt in my eyes but the waves are nicer than Seattle. Warmer too.

I can feel the sand bed on my toes and shells scraping the sides of my legs as I float out peering and the sky and the way the shades of orange and yellow melt away at the baby blue and how the sun looks so majestic at this time.

I’m still slightly tipsy from the drinks we had earlier but I'm not incapacitated, it's just a nice buzz, it reminds me of when I lay my head down in the grass and I can hear the tiny shuffling of ants.

But apparently I’m still drunk enough to not hear my friends shouting from shore for me to come back until I feel a hand on mine pulling me out.

“Jesus, I thought you were gonna drown out there.” It’s Harvey, I love Harvey. He always smells like strawberries and smokes with me without judging.

“I wasn’t, let me like the ocean in peace you guys are assholes.” I retorted but I didn't stop walking with him back to the shore with my friends.

I fall back onto the plush of the towel as Harvey joins everyone else in a game of beach volleyball.

Well everyone except me… and Vinnie.

Vinnie, the same guy that I was inseparable for 10 years, now seeing him for the first time in 3.

The same guy I fell in love with at 13 and who broke my heart at 17.

That Vinnie.

He’s sitting right in front of me in his shorts leaning back looking at everyone playing.

He has tattoos now and is much bigger. His hair is darker and face is more aged. He dresses better now and looks a lot happier but besides that he's still the same Vinnie.

I tuck my legs into my chest and rest my head on my knees, letting myself take in everything that changed about him to distract me from the cold wind tangling up my hair.

He finally looks back at me and something about it makes me still smile after all these years.

“M’ sorry I didn’t know you were gonna be here.” I mumble and then look away from him.

“Why are you sorry? I love seeing you.” He still has that same warmth in his voice that I fell in love with all those years ago.

“Just… I don’t know, I figured it’d be weird for you and her.” There's a maliciousness in my voice that I didn’t even know I could muster.

“Right… Allison.” He takes a deep breath, “ She likes you, don't worry!”

Allison, Vinnie’s new girlfriend of two months, she’s really sweet and a genuinely kind person but I can’t bring myself to like her.

I feel so pathetic, being in love with the same boy who hurt me all those years ago and who was able to move on whilst I stayed where I was. The same 17 year old stuck in bed the night Vinnie told me he loved me.

“Do you wanna go smoke?”

I don’t think I’ve ever said no to that question from Vinnie but now it’s different.

“Shouldn’t you ask her first?” I say averting my gaze from him and playing with my nails.

“She hates when I smoke so probably not,” He gets up and walks to me giving me his hand, “Get up.”

…

“Get up!”

“Vinnie fuck off this shit is broken.” I stand up and shove the skateboard into his chest.

“C’mon you barely even tried it’s actually very fun, please I wanna teach you!” He says beaming in the sun and smiling at me whilst I try to clean the cuts on my legs.

“You're a shit teacher, Hacker!”

We’ve been at this skatepark for four hours and the only thing I can do is go in a straight line and wiggle a bit and Vinnie knows how much I hate things I don’t get the hang of quickly.

“You're torturing me Vinnie, I’m gonna leave here with a cut off leg or something!” I cry out

“You're gonna be fine, I'm not gonna let you get hurt.” He pouts in a faux puppy dog face

“I hate you so much.”

“Stop being a pussy!”

…

“Stop being a pussy Vin.” He’s been dragging me to this secluded part of the beach for 5 minutes

“My girlfriend hates smokers, I really don’t wanna get into another fight tonight.” He sighs

Another?

“Why don’t you try to quit? I know you want to, you hate smoking.”

“It’s easier said than done- See we're here, you're just lazy!”

“Tell me something I don’t know, genius.” I half-joke

The view is nice, like really nice. It's so much quieter and less people means you can see the ocean without any distractions.

I lay down on the sand forgetting about the fact I'll be covered in it when I get up- That's a problem for me in the future.

He takes out a mini bong and packs it whilst I lay there and close my eyes.

This is nice, it reminds me of when we were younger. I was actually the first person to introduce Vinnie to weed and it kinda became our ritual, he would get the bing ready and I would wait patiently for him.

I can hear the bubbles and turn to look at him as he turns his head up, flexing his jaw and blowing the smoke out.

He always looks so pretty smoking.

“Do you ever miss it?” I ask, purposefully vague.

“Miss what?”

“Seattle?”

“Yeah, especially during the summer. It’s hard to miss it that much when I come back every month to see my family.” He replies by passing the bong to me along with the lighter as I sit up.

“But you never come visit me?” I turn my head and he looks away into the ocean

“I know… I wanted to but everytime I mustered up the courage something would get in the way… Plus whenever I saw your pictures you looked happy, I didn’t wanna fuck that up.”

“So your solution was to invite to to the beach with your new girlfriend and all your old friends instead of I don’t know, talking to your fucking bestfriend instead of ignoring her for 3 years making her feel like she fucked up?” It come out in a condescending tone

Every sour emotion that I held against Vinnie is bubbling up. Every emotion I felt when I saw a picture of him with his new friends, when he got his first girlfriend in LA, when he won that stupid fucking match and didn’t even reply to my dm congratulating him.

“I know I fucked up trust me,” The bong is still in my hands, lying their idly like a forgotten childrens toy, “But even if I did talk to you whenever I would come back I wouldn’t even know what to say to you.”

“Oh fuck off Vinnie, you could have said anything, I was waiting for you to say anything. Apologies are two words but you couldn’t even muster that up? God I hate you so much.”

I don’t.

“I’m sorry,” He breathes in, “I’m sorry I stopped talking to you, I’m sorry I fucked everything up, I’m sorry I never actually told you how I felt, I’m sorry I made you feel like it was your fault, I’m sorry I ruined the friendship, and I’m so sorry I never said this earlier to you. Your my favourite person and I fucked everything over cause I was to scared of loving you.”

He breathes out.

We both just sit there in silence, I’m getting colder by the minute but I don’t move. The apology I waited 3 years for finally arrived but I don’t feel any better. I just wanted Vinnie to say something to make all the pain feel worth it and then everything to go back the way it was.

“It wasn’t entirely your fault for ruining the friendship.”

…

“You promise this won't ruin our friendship Vin.”

“I promise you, and you trust me so relax.”

His lips slot in between mine, he pulls me closer to him as my hands thread through his hair.

It’s rough. I should have bought him new shampoo for his 18th.

“Your lips are so soft, I love them.” He whispers to me in between kisses as I lay my body over his and he guides my hips over his dick, rutting into him.

“You suck as dirty talk.” I giggle before going back to make out with him.

I let my lips trail down to his jawline leaving faint kisses there as he holds me close to him so I can feel the way his chest rises and falls. My hands drag down his torso and then up inside his shirt. My kisses falter as they reach his neck and I start sucking love bites into them and hear his hiss and whimper above me.

“Feels s’ good baby.” He breathes out, letting his hands rest at my waist as his thumb circles the area soothing the skins there.

When I’m done he flips the two of us over so now he’s above me with my hands pinned to my sides.

He locks his lips into mine again, my whole body melts into the kiss, I lean into him, shutting my eyes, letting myself save the memory. I moan into his mouth as he pulls the kiss closer to him in a tantalizing fight for more dominance.

As he pulls back, his eyes meet mine and I get lost in the honey brown, I study the features on his face at this moment, intent to not forget a thing. He looks back at me with a small smile.

His hands free mine and let me hook my hands around his neck. I pull him closer to my body as he kisses down my neck whilst his hands go under my shirt.

“Say you want this baby.” His gasps

“Please, I need you so bad, I want you bad.” I beg

His hand undone my pants pulling them off leaving me in just my shirt and panties.

Vinnie lifts himself up to take off his shirt, letting my hands graze through his body as he undoes his belt and pants and throws them on the floor, then taking his dick out of his boxer, pumping it up in his hand whilst reaching over into his dresser for a condom.

I lean my head back and stare into the ceiling waiting for him before he pulls my panties to the side and slowly lets his cock stretch me out as I arch into his touch.

His pace is relenting, I clutch his shoulder for stability and cry out into his neck, his thumb is circling my clit, his free hand holds us up and his eyebrows are knitted together in focus even though his lips keep kissing my body to make sure I’m okay.

“Feel good, you're not hurt angel?”

“No, fuck, god no, feels good Vin.” I say, barely able to make any full sentences.

It’s not long until I cum under him, I drag my nails across his back and scream into his neck to make sure I’m quiet enough and Vinnie rides me out through my high as a gasp and falls back into his bed.

It’s not long after Vinnie comes and places a kiss on my forehead before getting us a towel and me some water to clean up. He gave me my favorite sweatshirt of his, a red Seattle shirt that I ended up cutting the collar off so it wouldn’t stay on my shoulder.

“I love you.” He whispers before laying his face into my shoulder.

I end up falling asleep in his arms as he pulls me closer to him.

In the morning I’m alone in his bed and in his house and I end up going back to my own, lying saying I was with a friend.

It wasn’t until that night until I got a call from Reggie telling me that Vinnie had left for LA last night.

I ended up giving Vinnie’s sweater back to Reggie.

…

“It might not have been my entire fault but I still left in the middle of the night, in my bed, in my shirt, without telling you.” He reminds me, snapping me back from reality.

I lie back down into the sand taking a hit of the forgotten bong and then placing it on my side, Vinnie copies me.

It’s quiet, I like it.

Back home me and Vinnie would always sit in the same room doing our own things, he would game whilst I’d play with Poncho or message my friends. Being in the same atmosphere was relaxing for each other.

Now it’s just tense.

“Vinnie,” I look at him, “Do you ever miss me?”

He laughs.

“Everyday, every time I go to the beach, every time my friends talk about love, every time I remember home you're always there. I don’t think I could ever not miss you.” He turns his head to look at me.

I really do miss him. I miss going to his house after a long day, I miss skipping classes together and smoking weed, I miss telling him everything. I miss him so much it hurts.

“Everything could have been so different.” I chuckle

“Yeah, we could have both still be in University together, we could have both still be in Seattle. Hell could have actually gotten together.” He laughs but I finally look back at him.

We fall back into our comfortable silence letting the ocean waves wash over us. It's dark out now and you can see the moons and the stars. It’s calming.

It’s a short lived calm however since his phone rings and he jerks up to pick it up.

I don’t listen until I hear him call the person on the line ‘baby’. It’s Allison… his girlfriend.

Our time ’s up, so I pick up my things which are just myself and a bong whilst Vinnie ends the call and we walk back to where everyone is in silence.

We get back and Allison runs into Vinnies arms placing kisses all over his face and tugs him down to sit at the bonfire.

I lean my head on to Harveys shoulder as I zone as I eat the burger he made for me but as I look up I see Vinnie staring at me but as soon as he sees me looking back at him he looks down at his plate.

Before we realize it turns to 1 in the morning and I’m ready to go to sleep. Harvey is dropping me off and Chloe is coming with us.

Vinnie is leaving with Allison as she drags him away but he stops as he sees me.

Before Vinnie leaves he gives me a bag with something inside and hugs me without saying a word.

It’s a hoodie. The hoodie. A red Seattle crewneck with a cut collar. The hoodie he gave me the night he told me he loved and then left. And he left again. Leaving me with nothing but his stupid hoodie and all the things we never said.

#bella fawns over vhacker #vinnie hacker smut #vinnie hacker x reader smut #vinnie hacker x reader #vinnie hacker imagines #vhackerr #vincent hacker #vinnie hacker oneshot #vinnie hacker #vinnie hacker x you #vinnie x reader #vinnie imagines #vinnie #vinnie hacker fluff #vinnie x reader fluff #bella's full works #vinnie hacker angst #vinnie x reader angst #vinnie hacker x reader angst

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spinningwebsandtales · 5 months

Text

Vita Nova

Orm Marius X FemReader

Rating: T

Warnings: Spoilers, mentions of death, crying, hurt/comfort, reader has some trauma, suggestive themes, angst, and fluff

Word Count: 4.2k

Fic Swap with @the-marshals-wife

(A/N:) Happy (belated) New Year everyone! And my first fic of 2024 and it turned out to be a whopper! My lovely best friend and I just adore the Aquaman movies and in light of the new movie that dropped around Christmas we decided to do a ficswap together! This bad boy is my contribution and you lucky readers get to read it! I hope I can make the other Orm fangirls happy with this as I honestly had way too much fun writing it as you can see! Over 4,000 words of just Orm goodness! I look forward of sharing more writings in this new year and I'm glad I could open up with this! Until next time happy reading! ~Countess

Reader's POV is in italics.

SPOILERS FOR AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM BELOW

DO NOT CONTINUE AHEAD IF YOU HAVE YET TO SEE THE MOVIE!

Orm stood upon the beach, his toes buried in the warm sand as the setting sun painted his features in orange and pink hues. His heart longed for Atlantis once more as homesickness always reared it's ugly head when he was feeling alone. While tension still remained between him and his older brother, deep down he was grateful for Arthur, giving him a new chance at life. With Atlantis finally revealing themselves to the people of the land, he no longer had to be so secretive about himself, except when it came to Atlanteans. He had burned too many bridges that most likely would never have the chance to be rebuilt. He sighed deeply as the warm salty foam washed over his feet.

Orm turned, leaving his regrets and longing to drown in the crashing waves. While he could see why his brother loved the land dwelling humans, Orm normally avoided them as much as he could. Especially when it came to his time on the beach, he rather not be bothered. And despite the world knowing, he still swam in deserted parts of the beaches he visited. His favorite places were around the docks where the shade kept him cool and various sea creatures stuck around. The fish and small crabs made him feel a little less lonely and made everything feel more like home.

Orm's bare feet padded against the planks of the dock as he tugged his shirt over his head. The breeze rippled his blond locks and whispered promises of a good evening swim. His vision staying straight ahead, Orm was preparing to run and dive into the bright blue water when a yelp caused him to stumble and he fell to the dock. He almost slid off when a slender hand caught his wrist and kept him from rolling off and slamming into a boat.

"Are you okay?!"

A feminine voice had him blinking against the pain in his skull before he finally got his eyes to focus. Orm sat up quickly, backing away from the woman looking at him with genuine concern. It was an emotion Orm was unacquainted with.

"I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention," the woman blushed getting to her feet and brushing the front of her shirt and shorts off. A quick flash of annoyance had him glaring before Orm sucked in a deep breath and calmed the raging tide threatening to overtake him. She offered him a hand up and old him would have swatted it away with a snarl, but new him remembered his older brother and took her offered hand. She shuffled her feet before him awkwardly, refusing to look up in embarrassment. Though Orm was worried he was intimidating her, though he wasn't trying at the moment.

"Sorry again," she apologized once more only to break the silent tension between them.

"I wasn't paying attention," it was the most polite thing he could say. "Though I can't help but ask. Why were you laying across the dock?"

Her cheeks flushed bright crimson, a pretty red color, and now she really refused to look up at him, more interested in her bare feet. This in turn made Orm feel more awkward, like he had pushed across some threshold that he should have never even touched.

"You'll laugh," she mumbled. Her gaze quickly darting up towards him before once again looking away. When she noticed that he wasn't going to say anything else her shoulders sagged in defeat.

"I like watching the fish. They feel like they're my friends and they're so peaceful living their lives without a care in the world," she whispered. "I've also always dreamed about Atlantis and going there and now that it is truly real I can't help but long for it even more. Silly huh?"

Orm shook his head and smiled remembering his home fondly, "No it's not. I think it's a wonderful dream."

Though home always brought a smile to his face, in this moment of his life it brought a pang of sadness with it. One mistake had taken his chance of ever seeing that beautiful city ever again. And here he just met a mere human upon an empty dock longing for the same as him. Maybe he had more in common with the humans of this side of the world than he had first realized. She smiled and nodded, happy to have someone not laugh at her for a change. She walked away moments later leaving him to ponder upon the dock as the waves whispered softly against the sand. Then Orm dived in.

Usually Orm moved around a lot. If he liked a place more than others he'd normally stay for a few days. But for reasons he didn't want to know he had stayed in this particular spot for weeks. And it wasn't because the food was anything extraordinary nor was the beach one of the most beautiful he's seen. If he dug down deep inside he knew it was because of that one moment, where he had seen a glimpse of that beautiful humanity that Arthur was always talking about to him. So Orm did what every normal man would do, he kept his distance and watched her from afar. She visited the dock he had found her at nightly, just to talk to the fish and to watch the sun set behind the horizon of the ocean. She would hum tunes, almost stroking the water with her gentle hands. She would hide sometimes as people would come to the beach calling out a name he had never heard. What would shatter his heart more than anything was when she would come some nights crying. His heart would clench as her salty tears dropped into the ocean. He shook his head fighting the urge to go towards her. But she was different, she wanted to know his world, that she had no idea he was from. That he had once been a prince, let alone a king of that world but it didn't matter, not anymore. He was dead to that world and he had to find his place in this one.

It didn't take many times of him watching the lone girl sob on the dock before Orm concocted a plan. Atlantean technology to help humans make the trip undersea had yet to be brought to them. Except for the scuba gear the humans already had invented, but Orm wanted his plan to be perfect. So he would do something that would make his older brother proud and possibly bring an end to his life. To get what he needed he would have to venture back to the Sunken Citadel and hope that the pirates that still lived didn't kill him at first glance.

You didn't know what kept bringing you back to this particular beach, though you had a inkling that it was in false hope of finding that same blond haired man that you had tripped. He was a complete stranger and yet you found yourself hoping to see him once more. So every night you came, no matter how bad things got at home you escaped bringing yourself to this little place of serenity, hoping, waiting, that you would see him again. But every night became a disappointment, though you enjoyed seeing the fish. The sun quickly set seeping the warmth from the Earth but the ocean water still held those waning rays of warmth. The lights of the dock quickly blinked on illuminating the surrounding water so you could still watch the fish swim peacefully by. You hummed a quiet tune as the waves lapped against the barnacle crusted wooden posts. A shadow darted by causing you to suck in a quick breath. Sharks would sometimes come up or a curious dolphin but this creature was too fast to be one of them. Your heartbeat quickened but against your better judgement you stuck your hand back down along with your head, trying to find this mystery that had suddenly come upon you.

Orm had a difficult time in the Sunken Citadel and he had gotten into a few brawls, but he did get what he searched for. It had cost him, but if his well thought out plan worked as well as he hoped, it would all be worth it. He made his way back to the normal spot and he had timed his return just right. As his mystery woman he had begun to adore made her way out onto the normal dock. She was light on her feet and she greeted some of the boatmen, who were leaving, politely before going to her same spot Orm could always find her. She stuck a hand in the water tracing the patterns of the fish below as they swam close to the surface. She had a small content grin on her face as she enjoyed the creatures below the surface. Orm moved his arms slower, trying to keep from interrupting this moment as he was more than happy to watch her for a little while. She hummed a tune while tucking strands of untamable hair behind her ear, only for a breeze to send them back to fluttering. He sucked in a breath letting the peace of her presence wash over him. And then he went under the surface and swam close by and quickly. He heard her gasp and he grinned to himself. He could have a moments fun at her expense, especially with the gift he was bringing her. Despite not knowing what he was she braved the unknown and he had to admire that about her. She was proving his theory of humans being a cowardly race wrong every moment he watched her.

You searched timidly for any sign of the shadow you had seen. Your eyes darting across the eerily still waters. You were about to pull yourself back up onto the dock when an arm breached the water and grabbed onto your wrist. You screamed yanking yourself backwards and the person attached to the hand around you came up with your panicked movements.

Orm laughed loudly at your terrified face while he treaded the water. He had never been one to play tricks as he had been trained as a prince of Atlantis, but he found it quite fun. The woman he had yet to put a name to a face laid on her back panting, trying to regain some form of control.

"Why did you do that," she screeched once she finally found her breath.

"Think of it as payback for making me fall on my face the first time we met," Orm smirked as he lifted himself from the water easily.

She took in the fact quickly that his upper torso was bare and the form fitting pants only seemed tighter by the fact that they were dripping water everywhere. She looked away, pink coming to her cheeks.

"You come out here every night," Orm said after a few moments of awkward silence.

Her head whipped around and her eyes widened in surprise.

"How did you know that? I never see you around!" Those moments of wishing to see him again, hoping he'd be around, and he had been hidden from her the entire time.

"I was," Orm paused. He knew he couldn't just tell her that he had been watching her from afar. But he didn't want to lie. "I was swimming."

"Swimming?" Now she was suspicious of him. As she rightly should, though they had already met once he was still a stranger.

"I'm a decent swimmer." Understatement of the century Orm thought to himself.

"I can see that," she gestured towards him before darting her gaze away once more.

Orm chuckled. He liked that little of color that would pop up in her skin. He found it endearing and despite himself his heart began to pick up speed. He offered out a hand and she glanced at it warily.

"I'm Orm," he offered in greeting. "Orm Marius. I should have introduced myself that first day we met."

She laughed, taking his offered hand. "(Y/N). And I should have thought of it too. But I did almost make you faceplant into the water. Though it seems like it wouldn't have bothered you so bad if you had."

Orm shook her hand, reveling in how smaller it was compared to his. "Do you mean to tell me that you wish you had let me fallen into the water now? Instead of rescuing me?"

"Well after you just basically scared the daylights out of me, yes."

Orm pouted playfully, "And here I brought you a gift."

"A gift?!" Once again those beautiful colored eyes glowed in delight. It sent his heart a flutter and he could have sworn it skipped a beat. Is this what his mother had possibly felt when she looked upon the man that fathered Arthur?

"I think I am rather partial to it now," he teased. "Maybe I will just keep it for myself."

"You can't just say that you brought me a gift and then keep it for yourself. That's mean," she whined.

Orm couldn't keep stringing her along though he was finding it fun just to get a rise out of her. He brought the gift from behind his back and he wasn't expecting her to jump up and down. Her confusion was to be expected and he found himself grinning once more. She was so expressive, he found it endearing.

"Your dream of seeing Atlantis stuck out to me and their technology is above what your people have. I wanted to show you a part of that life even if it is just a small glimpse."

He was revealing himself. His heart was almost leaping out of his chest. He had kept his identity a secret, revealing nothing to the humans he had contact with. She would be the first and he didn't know what to do if she didn't accept. She placed her hands on the oxygen helmet, a question on her lips. But without a word he once more grabbed onto her wrist and lead her to the end of the dock. She wordlessly tugged the pirated good on her head and with no hesitation followed Orm into the water.

Orm dived down, keeping a good grasp on her hand, their fingers interlaced as he didn't want to hurt her by tugging on her joints by the speed he could swim at. The oxygen mask was working like a dream and despite the time of the evening the moon was doing a good job of lighting the sea life below the ocean. She gasped in awe at the sea creatures and plant life below. But mostly she gaped at him.

"You are," she hesitated saying the word.

Orm nodded. "I am."

You absolutely couldn't believe your eyes. A true Atlantean. It was everything that you could have ever dreamed of and as he kept you from floating away this moment was more than you could have ever dreamed of.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before," Orm didn't want anything left unsaid. This was his chance. His chance to be himself and to stop being so alone in this world that he was learning more about every day. His time in Atlantis was done and now he was going to have to start anew. Maybe you were that new chance that he had been needing for a long time.

"It's okay," she answered. Her voice muffled in the helmet. Fish swam by coming near to Orm, pecking at his arm. He shooed them away gently causing her to laugh. "You don't have to explain yourself. We had just met that day and even at this moment we are still basically strangers. But I'm glad I met you Orm and your secret is safe with me."

"Thank you," he choked. Gratitude had been lost on him long ago but as he looked at this young woman, so genuine and beautiful in his eyes, that feeling was no longer a stranger. "Would you like to see more of my world?"

"Absolutely!" No hesitation and no fear. Orm kept her close, keeping her safe as he swam them further out into the sea.

Back on dry land you couldn't believe what your eyes had beheld. The world under was far beyond anything you could have ever imagined as Orm helped steady you. Spending that much time in the water had left your legs a little wobbly and you glared at Orm walking perfectly though he did have to take a moment to cough up water. You held out the helmet towards him but he shook his head pushing it back into your chest.

"Keep it," Orm insisted. "I want to take you out more now that you have it. There's so much more I wish to show and tell you. I hope that you don't mind."

She shook her head, stepping towards him. "I would like that so much."

Without a second thought she embraced him, squeezing Orm tightly before backing away, that familiar blush coming back to her cheeks. Reaching out Orm brushed a stray droplet of sea water off her cheek.

"Until tomorrow," he whispered and she nodded quickly.

Days had followed that moment before it had turned into weeks. Orm met with her daily, the helmet in tow every time as they explored together. She the underwater world he had grew up in and him emotions never before explored. Orm knew he couldn't take her far below the surface as he wished. He was trying his best to get a suit that would keep her from being crushed by the water pressure or freezing from the depths, but it would take some time. The helmet was easy to obtain, well easier than the suit. But she didn't complain nor did she beg him for more. Always content with their outings he began to realize that he looked forward to every second they spent together every day. It didn't take Orm long to figure out the emotions he was feeling and everything seemed to fall into place. She was beginning to swim closer to him as every day passed. Gentle touches and encounters that would leave her in awe and him trying to not overstep his bounds.

She swam closer keeping to his side as the day began to wan and like everything good in life their time together was ending that day. Orm always took his time bringing them both back to shore whenever it was time to head back in. She never seemed to be in a hurry herself and it had Orm wondering on things that he couldn't ask her when they first me. He wondered why she came by herself every day and those moments she had hid on the dock as several people had come searching, yelling her name. He wondered at the days that she had came crying as if she could no longer smile. And now that he had gotten to know her more it was something he could no longer keep himself from asking about.

Back on shore she removed the helmet and rung the sea water from her hair. Orm stayed near as he gathered up the courage to ask her. He was about to ask her about something she had yet to give up willingly and he didn't want to cause her to shut him out. He honestly didn't know if he could take losing her. He breathed in deeply gathering up all his courage, he stepped closer and grasped onto her shoulder to gain her attention and steady himself. She grinned up at him before it fell at the seriousness in his blue eyes.

"What is it," she asked covering his hand with hers that still laid upon her shoulder.

"Why do you come to the docks every day? And why do you hide from the people that call out to you and cry on some days?"

There he asked and he felt faint as she looked down at the waves lapping at their bare feet.

"You saw those moments too?" She whispered.

"I did," Orm confessed. " I've come to care for you these past few weeks and I can't help my curiosity getting the best of me. Knowing that you hurt or have any reason to hide is too much for me to bear."

She paused for a moment, gathering her strength. "I was in a bad relationship. I got out of it but the pain is still there and some days are worse than others. I find peace out here and that's why I always come and then I met you. And despite me telling you why that day, you didn't laugh at me like he and several other people did. I was really glad. You made me happy. Part of me was hoping that I'd get to see you again and yet I was afraid of getting hurt again too."

"That was brave," Orm cooed bringing her into his arms. He was warm despite the lack of shirt and all the time spent in the water. She shook from the cold and from telling things that had been hard on her. "You're the bravest and kindest person I have ever met."

"I'm not really," she answered.

"You really are," Orm breathed. "I'm the coward. I didn't like this part of the world at all. I tried to destroy it because of my older brother. I blamed him for a lot of things and I hated him. I still don't love him as a little brother should but my hatred cost me. I was prince of Atlantis once and I was even it's king for a short spell. But that was taken from me and now I am thought of as dead. I cannot go back there because I have officially been killed in action." Orm sucked in a deep breath as he feared what you would do now that you knew about his darkness, though he kept going. "This is both my punishment and my new life. This is both my brother's way of blessing me and cursing me. But I don't see it as a curse anymore, not that I know you now."

"Orm," she sniffled.

He tugged her in, her trembling body pressed to his as he tried to will any form of comfort into her smaller body. He felt lighter and more at peace than he had ever felt and while she held onto him tightly, Orm lost the battle on his emotional restraints. Holding her out he took in the sight of her, clearly seeing everything about her for the first time. And for the first time in his life, he felt truly loved. Not for being royalty of Atlantis or because they had to. Genuine love that asked for nothing in return. He leaned down towards her his stature always towering over her and it wasn't until his lips met her warmer ones did the fireworks start shooting off in his head. She didn't shove him away and she didn't protest so Orm pulled her closer. Deepening the kiss as he could taste the salty water still on her mouth and the scent of the ocean breeze on her skin. In that moment she was everything to him and he could want for nothing else as long as she stayed. She cupped his cheek, stroking his skin before Orm finally pulled away. His chest heaved and he couldn't bring himself to give her up just yet. He continued to hold her against his chest, not ever wanting this moment to end.

"Is it okay that we start a new life together," her voice quivered in uncertainty. She felt like she was going too fast or overstepping her bounds.

"I think I would like that more than you know," he agreed. This was when his life started. That new beginning he wanted for so long, that he dreamed about in that prison cell. This was the moment he longed for and had no idea. That moment he met her had been fate and had lead him to this moment. Their days together didn't have to end when their feet touched the shore, it was only the start of something on the shore. While he was her guide in the water, here on the land and in the midst of people it was her turn to guide him. She took his hand, taking the responsibility for teaching and leading in stride. They would learn together what this life meant and what it meant to know each other and keep together through thick and thin. Orm had baggage and come to find out she did too. But Orm didn't see that, he saw a woman who could light his way. She saw a man that had found redemption and was looking for a way to claim it. The sun had set behind them on the beach but the dawn was rising before them as they left hand in hand towards the life they would find together. Like two ships destined for each other, a new life was just beginning.

#Orm Marius X Reader #Orm Marius / Reader #Aquaman #Orm Marius Imagine #Aquaman Imagine #Orm Marius Fanfiction #Orm Marius #DC Universe #Not My Gif #My Writing

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antiquatedplumbobs · 3 months

Text

Spring 1916

Will Sewell had always loved the outdoors: the smell of new grass and fresh turned earth; the sound of birds singing and waves lapping at the shore; the feel of the sun on his face and the earth underfoot. Since he’d begun spending time with Clara, he had always tried to share this love with her: walks by the inlet, a small piece of glass worn smooth by the sea, a posy of wildflowers that caught his eye.

Of all his haunts, Cavalier Cove was by far Will's favorite. The ocean lived up to its name here, crashing wildly against the rocks and when the sun hit the swells the dark ocean lit up in brilliant blues, greens, and every shade in between. And there, perched at the horizon was Deadgrass Isle, his mother's birthplace and home until she had left it to marry his father.

So on this special evening, Will had chosen Cavalier Cove to bring Clara to — for what better place was there for such a momentous occasion? The seagrass swayed merrily in the breeze as the couple picked their way to the shore. The setting sun threw the colors of the world into bright oranges and reds, and Clara, turning to look at him, looked cast in bronze in the light.

He took a deep breath, willing his heart to beat normally, and before he could think another thought, sank to one knee.

“Clara,” he said, lifting the small box. The ring glinted in the fading light. “Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” He smiled up at her, feeling more sure than he ever had before, that this was the right choice — that Clara was the right choice.

The last touch of the sun was slipping behind the horizon, the golden light that had suffused the beach muting quickly to the deep blue of twilight. Clara was no longer gilded from the sun’s rays; the gloaming had thrown her face in shadow.

"I’m sorry... but no, I can’t accept right now.”

He blinked. The waves, which had been a gentle rumble, now deafened his ears. His knee hurt, there was something in the sand that was poking him. He blinked again, the words were wrong, not what he had expected at all.

He stood up jerkily, his cheeks burning, despite the chill of the breeze. She was speaking, apologies, platitudes, her hands fluttering, bright white in the twilight, like the wings of a seabird he thought idly. He offered her his arm mechanically; he felt her eyes on him, but he didn’t particularly want to look at her.

As he walked her home, the spring peepers were the only sounds besides their boots on the soft ground. For once, Will was glad of Clara’s quietness.

After leaving Clara at her kitchen door — still studiously ignoring her gaze — Will wandered, only taking note of his surroundings when he almost walked straight into the inlet. The moon hung low in the sky, and as it rose into the heavens Will felt his anger and embarrassment lift as well. He was left with a solitary emotion coursing through him like floodwaters in the spring: relief.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

next / previous / first

#ts4 #sims 4 #simblr #sims 4 decades challenge #decades challenge #ts4 decades challenge #ts4 story #sims 4 story #ts4 historical #sims 4 historical #ts4 legacy #sims 4 legacy #william sewell #sewell legacy #sewell 1910s

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futureman · 1 year

Text

living in a state of dreaming

summary: it’s been a year since you, joel, and ellie returned to jackson, and you’re finally starting to feel a sense of security. but when the sun goes down and joel closes his eyes, the horrors beyond the walls still hunt him, out to take back the family he’s worked so hard to protect.

pairing: joel miller x reader

warnings: hurt/comfort (mostly comfort), nightmares, sleepwalker!joel, language, minor injury, mention of panic attacks, ellie struggles, post-season one

word count: 1.5k

a/n: inspired by my own sleepwalking adventures :') i've loved tlou since the first game came out, but the hbo show really made me wanna start writing again, so this is my first fic here! thoughts and feedback are super welcome and appreciated! 💕

“You still mumble in your sleep,” she says, worry lines marring her face as Joel shoots up and off the couch. His eyes are much too alert for someone who was dead asleep moments before.

You meet Ellie’s gaze from across the room, her concern mirrored in your own. Joel had always suffered from nightmares, for as long as you’d known him, but it was so much worse now. Of course, Ellie notices. She may have moved into her own space out back, but she still watches Joel like a hawk, a side-effect of traveling together, of looking out for each other for as long as they had.

You can’t even begin to pinpoint the cause. Sure, he hadn’t loosened up much since your little group arrived in Jackson—he was still Joel, after all—but it had been a year. Ellie was safe, you were safe, and the delusion that nothing could ever harm you again was almost believable.

But still, there he was every night, tossing and turning, mumbling evolving into screaming as he reached out for you in the dark.

You do what you can, but your presence alone isn’t enough. You hold him in your arms, the warmth of his back against your chest a reminder that he's still here with you. "Joeljoeljoel," you murmur into his hair. He smells like suede and wood oil, and you squeeze him a little tighter. "I'm here, see? Go back to sleep, we're safe. Nothing here but you and me."

He’s still trembling, but you can feel his heart rate calming. Just a brief respite until the monsters come for him again.

For a while, Joel tried not sleeping at all. He occupied his nights woodworking, your home slowly filling up with small statues of animals and cowboys, neatly sanded and coated in a fresh stain. He’d let the bite of guitar strings on his calloused fingertips distract him from the burning behind his eyes, the headache blooming in his temples.

This isn’t sustainable and you both know it. But he’ll keep going, excuses falling from his lips that you and Ellie pretend to believe.

There’s not enough time in the day, he’d say. How do you expect me to finish fixin’ Ellie’s guitar, I made her a promise.

Ellie smiles for him, treads lightly as if she’s dealing with a child, and you think it’s probably a habit she picked up from the little time she had with Tess. It’s okay, Joel, there’s plenty of time for you to teach me. We’ve got forever, and she means it.

Ellie catches you before your shift one morning, her small hand circling your wrist.

“We should probably talk about Joel,” she lets go and wraps her arms around herself like she always does when she’s upset. You let out a sigh and it feels like you’ve been holding it in for days. She shouldn’t have to worry about things like this. Joel would be furious with himself if he knew.

“Something’s freaking him out. I dunno, maybe you should ask him about it?” She sounds frantic now. “I mean, what if he starts getting those panic-things again and can’t breathe, or he has a fuckin’ heart attack and dies?” You do your best to reassure her.

“Kiddo, I promise he’s not going to die,” your thumb smooths the wrinkle in her brow. “I think he’s just been through a lot. We all have.” Ellie doesn’t look like she believes you; she wants a better answer than that.

“...Do you still get nightmares?”

Your mouth tips down and you glance away. The front door is open and the chill of the air makes you shiver.

“Yeah, I do. But when I wake up, I know they can’t hurt me anymore,” you reply. She must still have them too, after the horrors she’s seen and lived. So much and yet so little time has passed, but Ellie’s scars are healing.

The friends she’s made here make her smile and she laughs more. Her cheeks are fuller and her eyes are less clouded. But scars never fade completely.

She nods stiffly.

“I’ll talk to him, see if something happened.” You hug her and she thaws just a little. Ellie hasn’t really warmed up to physical affection, and you won’t push it. But sometimes she welcomes it when she needs the comfort.

“It wasn’t like this out there, I-...I don’t know,” you continue. “I don’t know what changed, but we’ll figure it out.”

You don’t, and it escalates.

Sunday is the first day Joel sleepwalks. He wakes up halfway out of bed, his foot catching on the sharp, wooden bed frame—the one he built himself, close to the ground just like you wanted—and he can feel the skin of his ankle twisting and tearing.

He catches himself before he can crash to the ground and you’re on him in an instant. “Christ, Joel, are you okay?”

“S’nothin’,” he grumbles, bleary-eyed and dazed. You move to check the damage to his foot and he swats your hands away, which doesn’t surprise you at all, but hurts nonetheless.

The few times he let you patch him up were less a choice than a necessity, to say the least. A memory of Ellie with a syringe of penicillin, and you with a roll of duct tape and the cleanest rag you could find comes to mind, and so you let him go. “I got it, jus’ go back to sleep. Sorry for wakin’ you.”

The door to the bathroom closes and you follow behind, resting your head softly on the door. It’ll get better soon, you tell yourself. It’s getting colder, winter’s on its way, and Joel’s just stressed about sorting out patrol duties; infected are more unpredictable this time of year. Once Tommy and his crew are back from the dam, it’ll be better.

On Wednesday, his eyes are vacant as he grabs for the doorknob leading out of your bedroom, but it's gone, stolen away in the dark. He pounds his fists against the wood, desperately fitting his fingers in the gap between the door and the frame in a futile attempt to pry it open.

You don’t fully comprehend what’s happening until the yelling starts, low grunts becoming frantic pleas. He’s calling out for you, for Ellie.

The lights flicker on, enough to make him aware of his surroundings, of reality. Joel’s chest is heaving, eyes sad as your hands take his, leading him back to bed.

It's Saturday when the front door slams open, startling you awake too early in the morning. The other side of the bed is still warm, frighteningly so, as your hand slams down on the sweat-dampened sheets where Joel should be.

You’re too late to stop him from running out of the house into the cold, barefoot in the snow, as if something was chasing after him.

Joel can feel his heart pounding in his chest, hear the blood rushing in his ears like white noise, and he can’t seem to draw in enough air. He can't remember what he was running from, but its eyes in the shadows still haunt him. It’s all too much and his body finally reaches its breaking point.

It’s a terrifying sight, Joel dropping to his knees. His eyes are blank and he’s gone so, so quiet.

“Joel, please. You have to tell me what to do, tell me how to help you.” Resisting the urge to shake him feels so hard, but you have no idea how else you’re supposed to bring him back from this. He’s sinking into himself, hands tensing and untensing as he battles the urge to fight.

You wonder if he can even hear you.

The commotion hasn’t woken Ellie up, and you’re grateful. You don’t want her to see him like this.

“I let my guard down,” his gravelly voice catches you off guard. “This place is makin’ me weak.” Joel’s eyes are wet and your heart shatters. “Once you stop moving, it hits you all at once. The adrenaline’s gone, there’s no gettin’ it back.” His eyes find yours, and you’re frozen. “The fuck am I supposed to protect you like this?”

You sink to the ground to wrap your arms around him and the snow burns as it seeps through your threadbare pajama pants.

“There’s nothing coming for us, the Fireflies are gone. We got her back, okay? She’s ours now,” you murmur, words gentle even as you grip him tight, tethering him to right now. “And sometimes you have to let me protect you. Even from yourself, especially from yourself. That’s what we do, we keep each other going.”

Joel slumps, exhausted. His forehead drops to yours and his nose is cold as it bumps your own, breath warm and humid in contrast.

“Trust us,” you hum against his lips, and the remaining tension leaves his body.

It’s not enough to stop the nightmares; they’ll never stop. But it’s enough for tonight. And when the monsters come again, you’ll be there to turn on the light.

thanks for reading! 💕

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #joel miller

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strongheartneteyam · 8 months

Text

[ credits of the Neteyam pic go to cinetrix ]

Champagne Problems

Part 6

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!human!reader

CW: a lot of angst, tension between neteyam and reader, heartbroken neteyam, sexual tension, heartbroken reader, insecure neteyam, jealous reader, neteyam just won't leave reader's head, hurt/comfort (?), TRIGGER WARNING for some sensitive themes like reader showing signs of low self steem and not thinking she's worth it, friend group dynamic among reader, adeline and kate, kiri being sweet, reader misses neteyam and regrets dumping him, reader thinks she's protecting neteyam from hurt by staying away from him, spider makes an appearance, kiri being protective over neteyam's feelings, reader tells kiri she likes neteyam. Tell me if there's more, pls.

Here I come, finally updating this incredibly angsty fanfiction :') I hope y'all enjoy this. Writing this fic breaks my heart, guys… it feels raw, honestly. Maybe I'm just speaking like this bc I'm on my period + I'm listening to a sad Taylor Swift song but omg my heart aches rn

Not proofread. I'm sorry, babies, I'm dead rn. So freaking sleepy and finishing this at 5 am bc my mind just wouldn't let me sleep and kept forcing me to think about and write this chapter.

Part 5: The sand hurts my feelings

𓇼

It hits different 'cause it's you

I used to switch out these Kens, I'd just ghost

Rip the Band-Aid off and skip town like an asshole outlaw

Freedom felt like summer then on the coast

Now the sun burns my heart and the sand hurts my feelings

And I never don't cry at the bar

Yeah, my sadness is contagious

Hits Different (Taylor Swift)

𓇼

"Hey." Neteyam greeted you in a dry tone. He found it hard to look into your eyes so he just gazed rapidly into them and then kept his eyes on the ground.

His heart was broken, aching and his pride was shattered. Neteyam hated to see everybody around him looking at him with pity in their faces, knowing that he had been dumped by the girl he loved. He wondered if the boys - Lo'ak, Rotxo and Ao'nung - looked down on him now. Neteyam suddenly felt like he was not a good hypothetical mate. He had always thought he would make a good, reliable and loving mate to the girl he would one day choose to be his but you made him start doubting that after last night. He knew it was probably stupid but still he couldn't seem to get rid of those feelings.

You tried to hide your uneasiness but it was written all over your face.

"Hi." You answered Neteyam, your heart pounding in your chest, anxiety leaving your hands cold.

The pain you were causing Neteyam could be easily seen in the way his jaw clenched, in the way he weirdly looked insecure instead of confident as he always seemed to be. You wanted to say "I'm sorry", you wanted to say "Maybe I did the wrong thing when I refused to become your mate" but you had seen him with Munì. It was useless now, anyway.

Lo'ak looked at Neteyam, then back at you and then he would redo the whole thing all over again, like he was waiting for the both of you to exchange more words. Poor thing. He seemed even more tense than Neteyam and you.

"Rotxo, Ao'nung" Neteyam rapidly called, looking now at the Metkayina boys "Tonowari is waiting for us. Clan business." His voice was serious and seemed slightly annoyed, his face stern

You wondered if Neteyam said "clan business" instead of giving more detail because you were sitting there too and he was mad at you. Well, you didn't blame him if that's how he felt. You deserved it. You could have been nicer to him this morning.

"Let's go!" Lo'ak spoke loudly, like he was trying to get out of that awkward situation as fast as he could

"Chill out, forest boy. We're going." Ao'nung teased and Rotxo laughed

"I'm Metkayina now, fish lips. Stop calling me that." Lo'ak responded

Frenemies indeed.

The boys left and your gaze was fixed on Neteyam's back as he walked away next to the other Metkayina. As you looked down at the beach floor, you wished that ache inside you would just vanish but life doesn't work that way.

When you looked up, you saw Tsireya's and Kiri's big feline eyes fixed on your face. It scared the crap out of you. They seemed even wider now.

"What?!" You sounded legitimately startled

"Neteyam told me and Lo'ak he was gonna ask you to be his mate at the party." Kiri stated

"And how the hell did every person in this tribe find out about that? Did he tell them too?" You didn't mean to sound rude but you really were overwhelmed by the situation

"It's just me, my brother and Rotxo. Only we know, other than Kiri and Lo'ak. My stupid brother overheard Kiri asking Neteyam how it had went, what answer you had given to Neteyam and he told Rotxo. I saw them laughing like idiots and asked what was so funny. That's when Ao'nung told me." Tsireya said, like she was sorry about the fact that so many people knew about yours and Neteyam's intimate business

𓇼

The day after that, you and the girls went back to Hell's Gate. You decided it was better to leave things the way they were. To let Neteyam have a nice, healthy and proper relationship with someone of his own kind. Like your father always used to say, na'vi and humans will never be equal. But he meant it in a derogatory way, with prejudice against the na'vi in his words while you meant something totally different. It was just natural that na'vi would marry other na'vi, not a human. The differences between both cultures did not just speak loud, they actually shouted like a mad person. You knew you could never get accustomed to being a na'vi male's mate. Not even if that male was Neteyam and just thinking about leaving him behind, thinking that you felt absolutely nothing for him, made you feel a burning, painful sensation in your heart. And of course Neteyam would be better off with an emotionally stable mate. Munì seemed perfect for him.

You totally did not feel anger boiling inside your guts anytime you thought about her stupid smiles and giggles back when she was talking to him at the beach. She would make him happy and you were totally happy for them. The next step for you would be actually believing the words you just thought.

𓇼

One month and a few days had passed. You felt grateful that you had been able to dodge all the demands to go conduct scientific researches on the Metkayina tribe that you had received until now, asking to exchange positions with colleagues and staying in the lab, doing paperwork instead. You were doing everything in your power to avoid Neteyam. But you could never seem to be able to avoid the pain that washed over your body and the tears that wanted to come out - but never actually did because you were always strong enough to hold them back - whenever a sad love song started playing in your earbuds or in one of your friend's phones. It seemed like every fucking dumb love song reminded you of him.

After Kiri sent you a message almost begging you to go visit her, making you feel guilty and saying that she missed you a lot and now that she had her own marui, you just had to go to the reef and see it, you couldn't say "no". She was being too adorable and you missed her too. You asked Kiri if Kate and Adeline could come along and she excitedly agreed, so, the three of you used your next couple of days off to travel to the Metkayina beach again. It was a blessing that Neteyam had traveled to the Omatikaya tribe to see his grandmother Mo'at and was gonna be gone for a while, as Kiri had guaranteed you.

Kiri always had a very human side to her, just like Lo'ak. Neteyam didn't even seem like he was half human at times. He was extremely proud to be na'vi and wore his indigenous culture with honor all over himself. You could never see Neteyam asking to have his own place. He was too attached to his family - and you thought that was extremely cute. It wasn't traditional amongst the na'vi for an unmated young girl to leave her family's marui like that but Kiri was clever and she found a way to get what she wanted out of her parents.

𓇼

Adeline, Kate and you woke up as early as the Pandoran skies got clear and dragged your sleepy and tired asses to the Metkayina tribe. Being a scientist would never not leave a person overworked and exhausted. Like most mornings, you had drank way too much caffeine already for such an early hour in the day.

"Girl, how do you always look so beautiful? I could never." You pointed out as you watched Adeline make two thin braids to frame her round, delicate face and put her black curly hair in a voluminous bun on the top of her head, while the both of you were inside the science team's helicopter, heading to the Metkayina reef.

You had always found Adeline extremely pretty with her dark skin, voluptuous figure and feminine style. She always made sure to look cute.

"I don't know. I guess I'm God's favorite." She joked around and the both of you started to laugh

Adeline was also funny. She could put a smile in your face anytime, even when you were sad. You considered her a sister from another mother.

"You guys are stupid." Kate teased as she was laughing too and holding an energy drink filled with caffeine in her pale hand. She'd drink those often to help wake her up.

Kate's long, blonde, wavy hair fell gracefully over her chest. Her eyes were blue and she was tall and had an athletic but slim body. Damn, you only had breathtaking friends.

𓇼

Kate and Adeline had decided to take a nap after lunch in Kiri's marui and they asked if you would come too but you refused as you were far too restless to be able to sleep. That beach brought back too many memories…

So, now you found yourself sitting in the sand, watching the ocean waves break as they hit the shore with Kiri by your side. She had managed to make you say the truth about why you seemed so troubled.

"Yeah, (y/n), you fucked up big time." Kiri stated with that aura of wisdom beyond her years that only herself knew how to effortlessly exude.

You wanted to dig a hole in the sand under your feet and jump inside of it, hiding and never coming back up again. Of course you'd fuck it up with Neteyam. You had a cursed tendency to self sabotage. You did not know if being so freaking aware of it made you better or if it actually made you worse.

"Are you mad at me?" You ask nervously with furrowed eyebrows

"(y/n)! It's not my feelings that you should be worried about! It's not my heart that you broke." Kiri scolded you as she looked at you with those big feline yellow eyes like she was actually horrified. You felt so bad for thinking it was kind of funny. "I know you don't wanna be Neteyam's mate but do you not care about him at all? Not even a little bit? He hasn't been the same ever since you dumped him and left. Poor thing can barely go train with dad. I think I saw him sniffing while hiding one of these days. Eywa knows that prideful teylu" (edible Pandoran bug) "would never cry in front of us."

"I swear I didn't mean to be cruel. I just did not know… how to react. It was sudden, you know? It's like, I don't know… a cultural shock? Humans don't go around asking people they just met to marry them. Or… become their mates." It would never feel normal to say "mates" to you

Apparently you had acted just like Kat Stratford in 10 Things I Hate About You, when she would cold heartedly refuse Patrick Verona over and over again. You used to always watch that vintage movie with Tracy. It was one of her favorites.

"Don't act like it was the first time you two had met. Neteyam stared at you all the time when you came to our tribe. I swear to Eywa I've never seen him nervous to talk to a girl before but you have a power over my brother… it's fucking crazy to watch actually. He's like a needy, dumb dog drooling over you when he looks at you. It's even freaky." Kiri couldn't hold it back so she burst into laughter, hiding her mouth with her big but delicate hand

You were nervous as fuck but you started to laugh too. It seemed like the nervousness and guilt and tense vibe of the situation only made it worse, making everything even more funny and absurd.

"You know the worst part of it all?" You looked at her like a child who just broke their mom's most precious vase

"Great Mother, don't tell me there's more." Kiri said, incredulous

"I think I like Neteyam." You confessed like you were a good catholic girl confessing her sins to a priest

"You like him?!" She almost screamed

"You don't need to declare it out loud for the whole reef to hear!" You got slightly mad

"You teylu!" She smirked as she moved her head from side to side in disapproval "Why the hell did you dump him then?"

"I don't know, Kiri. Don't judge me, okay?" You put both your hands over your face, hiding it and moving your head from side to side yourself this time.

At least you knew your attitude had been controversial and confusing to say the least. They say the first steps to recovery are realizing and admitting you're insane.

𓇼

It was now eclipse. You were inside Kiri's home with her and your human friends. Kate and Adeline were finishing unpacking their bags.

"Guys, I'm going out for some fresh air, okay?" You said, trying to find an excuse to get out of that marui filled with girls - human and na'vi.

"You've been acting weird lately." Adeline pointed out "Spending too much time alone."

Kiri discreetly looked at you with a look of concern in her face, as she was the only one of the girls who knew the reason behind your strange demeanor.

"I just need some air. I'll be back soon." You spoke as you walked towards the door of the marui

"Don't go in the ocean! It could be dangerous!" Kate yelled. She was the "mom friend" of the group.

"I know!" You laughed "I'm not stupid. I'm a scientist too. But thanks for your concern."

You walked through the beach for a while, trying to take a certain tall, handsome blue alien out of your mind when you saw Spider walking in the area too. He waved at you and you waved back.

You weren't as close to Spider as you were to Kiri and Lo'ak but you did love his company.

You sat on the sand with him, looking at the ocean, just like you had done with Kiri earlier and you two started to catch up and eventually the talk got deeper, more philosophical.

"Don't you feel crazy, Spider? Living among beings of another species? Don't you feel… left out?" Your eyes looked at him with genuine doubt in them

"I do, sometimes." He sighs "Especially because of how Mrs Sully acts towards me, at times" the both of you laughed quickly "But this place is my home. I was born in Pandora, I know nowhere else that I could call home. And also, I grew up around Lo'ak, Kiri, Neteyam and Tuk. They're family to me, even if not related by blood. It doesn't really matter in the end, family are the ones who are there for you. Not your bloodline."

"Oh my God, I totally agree!" You rapidly say in a slight loud tone, chuckling, like you wanted to emphasize how much you shared the same opinion with him

"So..." You pondered if you should tell him or not "Neteyam talked to me last-"

"Yeah, I know. Ao'nung told me." Spider interrupted

"Of course he did..." You rolled your eyes and sighed. So everybody knew already...

Spider chuckled softly.

"Anyways, Neteyam calls me tawtute. I think it's funny that he calls me "human", but in na'vi"

"Yeah, that's him being affectionate towards you. He likes you. A lot." Spider pointed out

You stoped smiling and your heart started feeling painful.

"He probably hates me now, actually. I totally blew it off. I was really insensitive towards him." Shame and regret covered your face, as you were crestfallen

"Have you ever thought about apologizing?"

"Yeah, of course I have. Many times. I just…" You hesitated "I guess I can't face him now."

"Oh, c'mon. I know you can do it. Isn't it worse to be feeling guilty and sad and let Neteyam think you don't feel sorry for hurting him?"

"You have a point, Spider. God, I hate it when you're right." You laughed and slapped his arm softly, in a playful manner

𓇼

Adeline and Kate slept peacefully next to you, each one of them in a different mat - but the three mats had been placed next to the other. You, on the other hand, hadn't been able to sleep well in almost two months. Kiri told you and the girls she was gonna stay up and she now was, at the corner of the marui, making herself a new beaded necklace in the light of a tiny fire she had lit up.

As you laid quietly in your mat with your eyes closed but wide awake, you heard footsteps inside the marui. You could not believe it when you opened your eyes and you saw it was Neteyam. His tall, slender figure and head full of thin braids that danced in the air as he moved made you recognize him immediately, even in the dark of the eclipse.

Damn! Wasn't he supposed to be in the Omatikaya tribe right now? And what the hell was he even doing here instead of going to his parents' marui?

𓇼

Taglist:

@iman-lu

@leaveitbythewave

@creepytoes88

@live-laugh-neteyam

@swaggygurlbae

@neteluvr

@layla2-49

@a-blog-name-2003

@lala-1516

@jakesullyfatjuicypeen

@yeosxxx

@iaratezaewa

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whorediaries-09 · 3 months

Text

heartbeat;

pairing- fwb!sirius black x reader warning- hurt/comfort, 18+ content, substances, cheating. (let me know if i should add more) a/n- also this has so much sex for no reason at all-

little train. masterlist of 'the seven lives' series

' you thinking that the songs coming on to tempt me i need to be alone like the way you left me '

heartbeat;

the waves scandalised on his feet, the sand running through the gaps between his toes. the sun hung low, a strange crimson glow bathing through his features. salty air blew into his hair, scents of burnt leaves tantalizing his nostrils as late july crept around. the cigarette burnt through his puffs, the burnt ash flying with the air, leaving the roll with an orange glow. the dusk of the twilight enamoured him. he took another puff from his cigarette, letting the burnt feeling settle on his tastebuds.

‘hey,’ your touch was all too familiar on his skin. from feeling his skin to touching his skin, he’d grown to like your touch. it didn’t shudder his thoughts or nerves. it was familiar, a burn that he liked.

‘hi,’ he said, as you pulled the from cigarette between his lips. wrapping your lips around it, you pulled in the tobacco, letting it intoxicate your lungs. he watched the tip glow red, the smoke leaving your lips as he wrapped his arm around his shoulder.

‘never took you for a beach kinda guy,’

‘no?’

‘nah. with all those abs and all. more of a mountain and trekking guy i guess,’

‘well i have surprised you then.’ he said pulling your body closer. his finger slid between the strap of your bra through the t-shirt. he drew faint circles on your shoulder, enjoying the goosebumps that arose on your skin, and how your shook under his touch.

‘or maybe you have your fantasy with a beach fucking gateway. you do, don’t you?’ he chuckled, a deep rumble from his throat. hiding his face in the crook of your neck, he blew a breath of warm air on your skin, letting the wind cool it.

‘you really know me don’t you,’ he whispered. he heard your heart beat, growing its pace.

‘honestly, i don’t know what you’re waiting for,’ you replied, your tone low, laced with a veiled hunger. your hand crept around his neck, pulling him closer by the black t-shirt he was wearing. smiling against his mouth, you crept your hand into his locks.

‘in public?’ he smirked. you laughed, hitting his chest with a light blow.

‘no,’

but when his lips met yours in a fanatical frenzy, you found your mind reeling, pressed against the cold wall of his hotel room. it was numbing, as his lips bit all over your skin, marking you all over, his touch spreading a blossom of lust within you. you arched your hips, as he carried you to the bed, throwing you on the mattress.

pushing back a moan into your throat, you gulped as he tore your shirt off, ripped off your pants. your hands slid down to the zipper of his fly, but he slapped your hand away, his fingers circling your clit.

‘did i say you could?’ he said against your mouth. you could see the clouds of lust hidden in his gray irises. he increased the force of friction upon your clit, circling the sensitive mound more aggressively. you breathed heavy.

‘n-no’ his fingers met the warmth of your cunt, his rings cold against the heat of your throbbing hole.

‘so wet, just for me huh?’ he teased, sinking his teeth in the nape of your neck.

‘it’s never dry when you’re around, black,’ your chuckle was caught halfway with a whine as he slid his fingers into you. he curled his fingers into you, pressing onto your sensitive spot. you arched your hips, trying to get more friction.

‘that’s right sweetheart, ride my fucking fingers. cum on them. let me have a taste,’ he said, watching you unravel on his fingers. he liked the control over you, how you turned into putty just into his hands. he liked you to see you melt, to watch you become breathless, surrender to him. he liked how he knew your body like it was his. as if he could sculpt you out pore by pore with his eyes closed.

‘fuck,’ you whined as he latched his tongue onto your clit, sucking on it, letting you closer to the release. you were feral, breaking through the latches of your sanity as his tongue lapped on you, your thighs shaking around his head, pulling him closer. he could feel the clench of your walls around his fingers, the shaking of your thighs as you pulled him closer, letting him consume you.

he smiled against your cunt, devouring every bit of your sanity as you unravelled on his tongue, letting your orgasm paint his tongue and fingers. when he got up from between his legs, he pushed his fingers into your mouth, letting your taste fuse with your tastebuds.

‘you taste so good, you know that?’ he said, adjusting his torso between your thighs. you smiled, wrapping your hands around his neck as he pushed into you.

‘i know,’ you said, your tongue slipping into his mouth, as he gasped into your mouth. your walls stretched around his neck.

‘you better fuck me like you mean it, black,’ you demanded, as he groaned, pulling his cock out and thrusting into you again.

‘trust me, i always fuck you like i mean it, sweetheart,’ the way the nickname rolled off his tongue had you clenching your walls around his girth. he rammed into you, his hand meeting your throat, feeling the beat of your cunt and heart under his control.

‘sucha dirty girl,’ he moaned, rubbing circles on your clit with his thumb. you arched your hips, as he pushed the back of your head into the mattress. through the constriction, you felt the numb whiteness of pleasure consume you, your over sensitive cunt throbbing as you felt his pubic hair rub rough against your skin.

‘just for you, black,’ he smiled, running his fingers through his raven strands.

‘yeah? just for me?’ you nodded, wrapping your legs around his waist, pulling him closer to your body. his hand left your throat, pinning your hands over your head. he enjoyed the look of your breasts bouncing before latching his mouth on your nipple.

‘fuck-black, just like that,’ you groaned, as he pushed a rather rough thrust into you. the hoarseness in his voice was laced with a low growl paired with a rhythmic thrust brought you over the edge, as your orgasm unravelled and you painted his torso with your juices. he craned his neck at the sight, releasing himself into you, painting your insides with his cum. panting, he fell onto your body, his cock still buried deep inside you.

‘sweetheart, you get me so soaked,’ you tease, enjoying the soft bliss of his warmth.

‘always my pleasure, sweetheart.’

‘always my pleasure, sweetheart.’ the bartender said, pushing the glass of his drink towards him. he wrapped his lips around the glass, drowning the bittersweet drink down his throat. in the crevices of the dim light of the bar, he could see you, pushing your hips against the crotch of your new boyfriend. it was disgusting, how his hands roamed all over your body, his lips latched onto your neck.

he should’ve seen this coming. he should’ve believed james when he told him about the bastard. he should’ve seen past the barriers of fucking, the barriers of sex in hidden hotels, seen past the potential of rendezvous affairs in parking lots. he should’ve seen it earlier.

but sirius black was a stubborn man. he would get anything he wanted. so, he found himself at the bar, when your glass was empty with a loser of a boyfriend. he found himself on the edge of breaking his jaw when his hands crept on your thigh, tantalizing over your core. he could see it on your face, even if you were hidden in shadows. he could read it in your expressions, the little breathes that left your lips, the way you gulped, the curt curl of lips on your face.

he tapped his finger on his thigh, bouncing his leg. the bartender was fluttering his eyelashes at him, his sandy dusty hair falling in front of his eyes. he could see the honey glazed irises through the strands, as he licked his lips. sirius wasn’t foreign to such attention from women and men alike. it came with him being dashingly attractive and more than just a hollow shell to look at. his charisma could break through a brick-wall, if he wanted to.

but what he was foreign to was the fact he had somebody else on his mind. he didn’t have a subtle history of one-night stands or flings. it was raunchy, and he had left the culture for good, having unintentionally broken many hearts. but sirius black’s sex drive wasn’t to be extinguished so fast.

a stupid drunken night he’d hooked up with his best friend, you. he’d fallen into a void he thought he could escape. but he’d already fallen down the rabbit hole of madness, a stupor of lust, greed, and highness you brought down from heaven. it was a promiscuous affair, and neither of you backed up, and it became more than just a stupid hook up ‘accident’. it became an arrangement of sorts, a clandestine affair hidden within the darkness of parking lots or scabby motels. it was inescapable, and soon he found himself reminiscing the touch, the feel of your skin.

but even through the feelings he’d tried to ignore, he felt himself drowning into the need of your touch. in this drunk stare, he took the bartender and the girl who’d been practically eye-fucking him, to his flat it was angry and frustrated; he needed those feelings out his system. so, he found himself between a guy and girl, in a haze of lust. it was lore to be kept hidden when the girl scratched her nails deep into sirius’ back, her red lipstick marked all over his torso. the bartender took sirius from behind, stretching him out, as sirius rutted the girl’s guts into his mattress. his hand wrapped around sirius’ neck, placing his mouth on his, retching him with bruised lips.

he felt his orgasm tug low at his stomach, as the girl’s walls clenched around his cock. sirius dug his fingers into her waist, drowning in the high of alcohol and lust that wrecked his system. he missed your touch, your feel, your nasty words that helped him crawl down the euphoria of pleasure. in the distant cacophony of the low moans and skin-slapping, he found himself emptying into the condom.

‘fuck,’ he whispered as he felt the warmth flood behind his back. he felt the liquid slide down his thighs, lips latched onto the skin of his neck. it brought him a strange sense of discomfort. it wasn’t the first time he’d had a threesome, but somehow, he found himself hating it.

‘i need to go clean myself,’ he whispered. they nodded. sirius stood there, lingering, his waist uncharacteristically swaying.

‘you guys can clean yourself in my bathroom - and stay here for the night if you’d like. i-um i’ll sleep outside,’

he saw the girl giggle and wrap her arms around the bartender before wrapping her lips around his waist before he walked out into the hallway. he’d have to change the sheets the next day, he decided. even burn that were about to be stained with the deeds of strangers. it felt like a backfire of his plan but he was too tired to fight it.

you knew better than to respond to sirius’ text. you’d seen him bartender and a blonde girl home. it was a ploy, to make you jealous. you could read it in his face. but you were so tired of being the chase, of being the prey. you needed him to hunt you down, make you his. perhaps all he needed was a little push. so, you’d decided to the guy at work a chance. he was cute-physically at least. as the evening went on you realized he was nothing but a hollow shell, just a pretty thing to look at.

internally you cursed marlene who’d given you this ‘awesome idea’ to woo sirius and make him jealous. sirius black was a stubborn man and he’d make anything his if he set his eyes on it. all he needed was a little push over the edge to pursue his interests. a little push for him to set off the ticking bomb that was his anger issues. he’d bash out and admit his feelings any day. but it was the push he needed. so, you’d tolerated the guy throughout the evening hoping the sex wouldn’t be half as bad.

how wrong you were. his touches were rushed. but it wasn’t a sensual rush that led you into a headspace of arousal. it was a rush to see you naked. there was no foreplay what so ever, neither was there an effort to make you feel good. all he wanted to do was explore his pleasure, let down his high of euphoria. you didn’t even feel yourself close to the edge when he pulled out, chasing your lips with a bruising kiss.

you groaned, as he fell near you, panting slowly. his hand wrapped around your waist and he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck. his beard tickled the skin, and you found yourself hating it. it wasn’t like sirius’ soft stubble. it was scratchy, raising the sensors of your comfortability.

it was rabbit hole of fucking madness. you’d found yourself falling deep into the grave of lust and greed when sirius had hooked up with you on a drunk night when the summer air was humid. you found yourself filling the void of his heart without realizing it. you found yourself gaining a power, a control over him nobody else had. you found yourself falling with him, deep into a dorm of madhouse. it was inescapable, and somewhere along the clandestine rendezvous in hotels and parking lots, you allowed yourself to not escape.

you had messed with sirius, and you knew it was a bad news. and now he was messing with you. so, you turned around your screen of your phone on the nightstand.

‘had a threesome after so long.’

it was vulgar, short, yet enough to set you off the edge. even if you knew it, the confirmation made it worse.

‘why don’t i fuck you good enough?’

‘well, you’re fucking some loser from work.’

‘i’m fucking him, that’s not my boyfriend.’

‘big talk sweetheart, you went on a date with him. he’s your co-worker. as good as a boyfriend.’

‘he’s as hollow as your mother’s fried brain.’

‘rude.’

‘you agree with it.’

‘i do.’

you let out a short breath.

‘so…’

‘meet me in five.’

‘right.’

‘right,’ he said, munching on a fry. you chuckled, wiping a stripe of mayonnaise from the side of his lips.

‘that bad of a fuck huh?’ he teased, even though you could hear the bitter tone laced in his voice. sipping on your milkshake, you shrugged.

‘sooo bad. he didn’t even last like…10 minutes.’

‘i mean he must have never had sucha good pussy before,’ he whispered, leaning closer to you. it was a vile thing to say in public, but you were guarded by the windows of his car. you chuckled, throwing him a nervous blow of your tongue.

‘i’m not wrong,’ he winked.

‘i mean i must believe you. you’ve your experiences.’ you said, a stern tone in your voice. throwing the plastic cup into the polythene, you climbed over the seat, straddling his hips.

‘fuck,’ he groaned, arching his hips. when you unbuttoned your skimpy blouse, shoving your breasts into his face, he latched his mouth onto your nipple. you moaned, craning your neck, and hiding your fingers into his silky strands. this wasn’t a part of your plan…but how could you resist his mouth upon your body, his teeth marking spots on your skin as he fervently kissed you into a stupor till your mind went numb.

still, this felt different, when his finger explored your cunt through your underwear, rubbing soft on your clit. there was something in his eyes, a fire of agony, a fire of desire. something more than just lust. he unzipped his pants, letting out his cock.

‘fuck me,’ you said, your mouth against his. he raised an eyebrow.

‘no foreplay?’

‘oh, fuck you, black, it’s so wet already,’ you groaned, rubbing your cunt against his skin of his girth. a devious smirk tasted upon his kiss bitten lips.

‘it’s so wet for me, isn’t it?’ he said, positioning the tip of his cock at your core, teasing your slit.

‘yes, yes,’ you groaned. when he entered you, it was a delicious stretch that burned through you. he grabbed your neck, pressing so slowly on your artery.

‘look at me, look at me, sweetheart,’ your eyes glazed over his, and you found yourself lost into the crevice of madness into his gray eyes. he rammed his hips into you, your thighs shaking as he did so. he brought your face closer to his, and licked over your lips.

‘you’re such a sweetheart for me. such a slave for my cock, even though you’ve got a stupid boyfriend at home,’

when sirius dropped by your office, he didn’t expect you to be… for a lack of better words, making out with your co-worker. the heat from the coffee he’d been holding seeped through his fingers. he felt his brain sizzle with emotion, an anger that soaked his nerves with a nausea an overwhelming desire to fucking bash that bastard’s head. his heart pounded threateningly against his ribcage, his feelings swallowing him whole. his eyes burned from unshed tears. he saw red, fucking red when you slipped your hand into the bastard’s pant, going down on your knees, licking your lips.

in the middle of the fucking day, in your office cabin you were ready to offer head to that excuse of a boyfriend. it was disgusting, gross- it made him feel things he’d never felt before. he felt obsessive, as a strange sense of possessiveness took over his senses. he felt his blood boil, his head reeling with viciously violent thoughts.

he stood there, watching through the curtain of his unshed tears as you felt somebody who wasn’t him. his hands shook as he walked out of the office, throwing the cup of coffee into the bin. truth be told, he wanted to ask you out, ‘gain a pair’ as james told him, since ‘it wasn’t too late’. he wanted to take you to dinner, a proper date with all the ‘gentlemanly shit,’ as marlene suggested.

‘you won’t break your heart,’ a famished lily had told him as sirius fondled with his godson’s cheeks. remus agreed with her, giving him a piece of chocolate as encouragement. and for the first time in their life, sirius thought, they were wrong. they were wrong. you wanted nothing more than sex from him. your heart wasn’t his, even if his was yours. you didn’t wear your heart on a sleeve like he did. you weren’t his to lose. but it still hurt.

it still pitied a fire into his stomach. a fire of agony, a desire. a fire which was fuelled by the diesel that was you. by the diesel that was your touch, your feel, your scent, your smile, your words, your body. by the diesel that were you. he decided perhaps, it was time to go. even if he wasn’t ready to go, perhaps he was. perhaps that’s how he’d be healed, if he ran away from you. from the ecstasy that you brought him. if he fled his thoughts that were full of you.

sirius wiped his hands on the side of his apron. as someone who’d never baked a day in his life before, peter’s advice helped him to make a darn good cake. it came out as a regular sponge, but he had an eye for decorations. from a boring old sponge cake, it was transformed into a beautiful cake. now he could only hope harry would like it.

he took a picture and sent it to you. he didn’t ignore you, as he thought he would, but he certainly never met you physically. he never met you alone in shabby corners or was left alone with you. perhaps you were done with him. but you were his friend, a damn good one at that, and he couldn’t let that bond break just because you didn’t want anything to do with him. perhaps he’d never be good enough for you.

‘you going today?’ you texted.

‘no i made this cake for myself.’

‘just answer the damn question god damn.’

‘obviously i’m coming.’

‘that’s what she said.’

‘middle school boy humour.’

‘hmmm… i know.’

the bubbles appeared and re-appeared on his screen. he didn’t text you back until you got off whatever you had on your chest.

‘can you… come over?’

he found himself questioning the text, instead of replying right away. he wasn’t ready to go, not yet. but he didn’t want to leave with a broken heart either. luckily for you, he was damn good at making bad decisions.

‘yes.’

‘yes,’ your moan muffled against the pillow as his cock plunged into you, his finger tips sinking into the soft flesh of your ass. the dress you were wearing for the party had been long discarded on the floor. you could hear him whimpering as your finger bruised circles on your clit. your walls clenched deliciously around his cock, your orgasm at the brink of your sanity.

sirius’ tatted hand wrapped around your neck as he brough your shaking body closer to his. he pushed his slender fingers into your mouth, as you gaggled around them, spit drooling around his fingers. the room was filled with the sound of skin slapping and guttural moans. it wasn’t a drunk accident. the both of you were very sober when you decided to ravage each other.

‘you’re sucha nasty-’ he moaned, his teeth sinking into your shoulder as you clenched tighter around him. he was feral, as he hit a particularly deep spot inside you at this position. it made you see fucking stars, and you practically screamed as your thighs shook.

‘i’m sucha nasty girl, no? just for you black,’ you whispered, your throat raw with the guttural moans and screams that emitted out of your lips.

‘that’s right sweetheart,’ he said, his voice low and rough. you nodded, as you broke the sweat, your orgasm escaping through your body as he licked a filthy stripe from your neck to your ear.

‘fuck,’ he gasped, as he emptied into you, his seed filling into you like white ropes. he pinched your skin, as his eyes rolled to the back of his head as he came down from the high of the pleasure you brought him.

your weak body fell slump onto the bed, and you turned around on your back. you brought him down by looping your finger through his silver chain. you slipped your tongue into his mouth, teeth sinking into his lips. he twisted his fingers into your hair, hungrily consuming the saccharine taste of your lips.

‘stay?’ you asked, breathless. sirius could feel a pool of anger pit into his stomach.

‘no,’ he on your lips. he could read the hurt in your eyes but he thought he just imagined it. obviously, he did. he had to stop falling into the spectrum of your attraction. he had stop being there, hanging in there just to be your little sex toy.

‘why not?’

‘i- i can’t,’ he said, getting up, distancing himself from you. he could feel his heart break as you covered yourself with the sheet under you.

‘you’ve a boyfriend.’ he whispered, as he put on his clothes.

‘that didn’t stop you from brainfucking me the other night-‘

‘i-i was out of my mind.’

‘i- i want you to stay.’

‘no.’

‘please.’

‘i’m sorry.’

‘why?’

because i don’t recognise you anymore. i don’t recognise the girl i once had. the only thing i recognise is the not half as bad sex. i’ve lost you.

‘i- i want you to know, i’m ready to go.’ throwing you a sad look, he left without giving you an explanation.

sirius had found you sitting at the bar. you weren’t expecting him of course. you hadn’t reached out to him ever since he’d left. he hated to say it, but he missed you. incurable was the void his heart had created. he missed something that wasn’t him, someone who wasn’t his. he had boiling anger surging within him, but he wanted to see you. his heart overruled his brain, so he approached you.

‘hi,’ he said. he half expected you to bash out at him. but you didn’t. instead, you gave him a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

‘hey,’ you said. taking a sip of your drink. i’ve missed you.

‘so alone in a bar? on a thursday night?’

‘yep,’ you said, a little too cheerfully to be honest. his hand gripped yours. your heart broke. he wasn’t ready to go, not yet.

‘are you okay?’ he asked. you crept your hand around his neck. there was something in your eyes. something he’d never seen. something too pure for it to be just lust. something of an unreadable lore.

‘can we talk in private?’ he thought about your question. the last time, talking in private turned into a fuck session where he’d realized he didn’t recognise you anymore. but he was damn good at listening to his heart when you were around.

so, he agreed which resulted him taking you home. your hands wrapped around his waist as you held onto him. the skimpy dress you’d been wearing didn’t provide much of a coverage through the cool air. the engine of his motorbike died as he stopped it at your house.

it was a quiet feeling that submerged the both of you. your minds and hearts were full of unsaid words. a seething rage of desire settled deep into your nerves. you wanted nothing but to grab him and kiss him stupid. tell him how much you loved him. but you needed to talk. talk about your feelings and his. talk about the mad rabbit hole you’d fallen into.

‘hi,’ you said, unlocking the door. he smiled.

‘so, what did you want to say?’ you twiddled with your mouth. now that you had him, you didn’t know how to say anything. you walked towards your table, and poured a glass of water for yourself, a fake liquid courage. he stood on the other side, waiting patiently for you to say something.

‘for a lack of better words, i have no idea how to say this. but i still will. because i can’t go long without getting this off my chest,’ you voice broke, and you felt your cheeks heat up as the words left your mouth.

‘in simple words, the guy i was dating was a ploy, to get you jealous. i thought a little push would get you to admit how you felt. i- i’m in love with you.’ you said, whispering the last part. you met his eyes, hoping he’d say something. but there was nothing. a pregnant silence where none said anything.

‘so you’re telling me you’ve loved me for all this while?’ he spat, exploding into a fume of anger you’d never seen seethe within him before. you nodded.

‘i- i’m in love with you, sirius.’ sirius felt his heart explode. anger spilled into every crevice of his heart and he felt his words spill before he could control himself.

'fuck this! what even are we? are we best friends? are we fucking? are we dating? something in between that?' he said, slamming his wrist on your table. his eyes wandered over your body, taking in your features through the silky skimpy dress clad on your body. he stopped at your lips.

you could feel the heat radiate off his body when walked towards you pinning your body to the cold wall behind your wall. his hand crept on your cheek, finger stroking at your mouth. he leaned closer, brushing his nose against yours, his hair tickling your face.

the fury agonized a fire within him which only you could extinguish. it spread into his gut, crawling out with an intensity of lust. he could feel you melting into his touch, like you always did.

'i wish we never fucked, and i mean that.' he said, a cold threat laced into his voice. even in the spiral of lust or greed, you'd never seen his eyes so dark. you'd never seen the pure genuine anger which crumbled him into shattered pieces. still, you felt his touch ignite your skin, melting into the tension, the diesel of desire. it was the fire you liked playing with. gripping his t-shirt collar, you pushed his mouth near yours,

'do you mean that?' he brushed his lips against yours, taking your lower lip between his teeth.

'no, not really,'

a deep rumble held onto his chest when you pushed your mouth onto his lips, converging your feelings deep into his brain. he felt his heart thump angrily against his ribcage as he held onto you. in the mist of the clouds, he found you to be his muse. he found himself seeing nobody but you. you’d gotten him hooked.

when you parted, he was breathless, a stupid smile plastered on his face. his cheeks were dusted pink. he leaned his forehead on your temple, as you chuckled. your arms wrapping around his waist.

‘tell me you love me too,’ you said, a tone of insecurity laced into your voice. he crept his hand on your cheek, stroking his finger onto the skin.

‘look at me, sweetheart.’ when you met his eyes, an unfamiliar shyness took over you.

‘i’m yours. you’re mine. i love you too. let me take you out tomorrow?’ he said against your mouth.

************************************

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