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#the other has depression and daddy issues
karvakera · 8 months
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jumpscares you with my ocs
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the first one was done today to keep my attention on the stream I was watching,,, I physically can not watch something if I dont draw at the same time.
the mermaid one was done a while ago but I wanted to share it since its dear to me (despite the godawful mistakes in anatomy and angles). I usually struggle with backrounds but I think it turned out fine there,, also something about its vibe is special to me,,, feels somewhat nostalgic
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urdepressedslut · 10 months
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You’re Mine, Sunshine (masterlist) ♡
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♡ Pairing: Grumpy!Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Fem!Reader (Mob!Au Bodyguard!Au)
♡ Series Summary: Bucky gets picked by a very rich and respected man to be his daughter’s personal bodyguard. The Father warns him that it won’t be an easy job, that she is a brat and difficult to deal with. But what happens when Bucky meets you and you’re the complete opposite?
♡ Series Warnings: mentions of amputation, dark themes, violence, death/death threats, talk of parent death, fluff, angst, stalking, daddy issues, anxiety attacks/panic attacks, abuse, depression, depressive episodes, PTSD, dry humping, hints to smut, (warnings to be added as new chapters are released)
Trope ⇢ Grumpy x Sunshine ☀️
(SERIES ONGOING)
Last Updated: 9/8/23
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | SERIES 18+
⇨ Chapter One
↳ After Pierce interviews Bucky for the job, he warns him of you. Bucky is starting to rethink his decision, but when he meets you... you're not what he expected.
⇨ Chapter Two
↳ Bucky takes you home, and later finds you in the library. You both get to know each other a little better, but Bucky is hesitant.
⇨ Chapter Three
↳ Bucky has a surprise meeting with Pierce, getting informed about your secret admire. Meanwhile, Bucky tries to keep things professional, he’s hesitant to cross the line when you need him.
⇨ Chapter Four
↳ You don’t know what to think of Bucky after he took you to bed last night. Bucky can’t continue to keep the stalking situation hidden from you. Something is found on your doorstep.
⇨ Chapter Five
↳ Getting to know each other better doesn’t go according to plan. Bucky has to comfort you and fix the mess he made. Will you forgive him?
⇨ Chapter Six
↳ Bucky receives a morning visit from Steve, with the news about what was in the box. Bucky continues to think about what he should do. Should he tell you the truth about your stalker?
⇨ Chapter Seven
↳ Bucky finds you making a mess in the kitchen, attempting to bake and offers his help. The two of you get to talking and some reveals about each other begin to come out. Will he finally tell you about your stalker?
⇨ Chapter Eight
↳ After a surprise visit from Pierce, tension arises as he threatens Bucky of his job. Pierce wants to have a talk with you and it doesn't go very well.
⇨ Chapter Nine
↳ After the events from the other day, you try and cope with the reality of what happened. The world is a lot less colorful than you remember. Bucky helps comfort you after you realize you have no one left.
⇨ Chapter Ten
↳ Someone comes knocking at your door in the morning. Bucky answers and is surprised with who he finds. Are they going to help them or hurt them?
⇨ Chapter Eleven
↳ The tension can't be ignored anymore between you and Bucky. Steve shows up and he's not alone.
⇨ Chapter Twelve
↳ Reality is hitting you as you, Bucky, Steve and his men all venture off to a secret safe house only Steve knows about. The events from the last couple of days are starting to hit you with a sickening force, leaving you weak and crippled.
⇨ Chapter Thirteen
↳ Your dreams consist of random memories of your parents, but are they really random? Despite the past days of hell—you still find it difficult to resist Bucky. You two spend a heated morning together, devouring each other while you still have these moments.
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bubblegyu00 · 2 months
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riize as boyfriends !
riize x femidol!reader
a/n: currently in my rum pum pum pah talk saxy era 😋
———————・✦
• shotaro
boyfriend shotaro and idol shotaro are basically two different people. the members have mentioned that shotaro is a bit stern and serious during practice. but all of the frustration leaves his body once he sees his girlfriend stopping by after practice. goes from leader osaki shotaro to clingy baby taro in a millisecond.
is such a happy pill to you, but when you go without seeing him for more than 24 hours, then you suddenly become sad and depressed.
his favorite pass time is to talk about you, and he has proven that many..... many times. the members always get annoyed when the room is silent he and suddenly groans " man, i really miss my girlfriend ". but the poor boy can't help that you're always on his mind 😕
he definitely loves to annoy you, but only because he knows that you won't get angry at him. he thinks that you don't get angry at him because you basically let him do anything he wants ( which is true ), but it's really because even though taro likes to tease,, he never crosses the line.
if you would ever be at an awards show together, he wouldn't even try to hide your relationship — meaning the boy is quite literally gushing over how good you look. pokes you in the side and giggles quietly to himself as he watches you stiffen and try not to flinch.
" shotaro! what was that?! we were live! "
" it was so funny! "
———————・✦
• eunseok
boyfriend eunseok may seem nonchalant and tsundere ( yes i used that word, what're you gonna do about it 😛 ), he actually cares about you so much.
is on the verge of tears when he's cleaning a wound for you ( it's literally a paper cut ). will help you do everything for the rest of the day like you just got out of the ER or something.
makes you laugh all the time because he just wants to see you smile. his life goal is to protect you at all costs, and treat you like an absolute princess.
loves loves lovessss when you play with his hair or scratch his back. he can put up the tough guy act all he wants, but the minute you offer to rub or scratch his back he'll lay right on your lap and won't get up for another hour.
and even though he isn't as expressive, he gives you compliments like no other. he praises every little thing you do, and compliments you on every single piece of clothing you wear.
" you look so good baby "
" i'm literally wearing pajama pants and a tank top seok..? "
" i stand by my earlier statement "
( are my daddy issues showing yet? )
———————・✦
• sungchan
boyfriend sungchan is so cute i want to throw a rock at him. alright that made sense in my head.
he's so so so in love with you i don't think he could possibly put it in words. he probably wants to throw a rock at you too.
like you could literally glance at him for one millisecond, and that's a kiss in his book. he still gets giddy over the little things like holding hands and hugging and it's just so endearing 🙁
sometimes he forgets how handsome he is, and only remembers when he gets a scolding because he didn't know a girl was hitting on him.
no but seriously sometimes the fact that he is so insanely attractive leaves his brain. and the amount of girls that mindlessly flirt with him — even though his girlfriend is right there — double the amount when he's at the gym.
so he dosent leave for the gym until he gets sprayed with a bunch of your perfume, has a picture of you two in his phone case, a scrunchie on his wrist, and a pink bow around his arm. ( the last one is just cus... why wouldn't you try to tie a bow around sungchan's arm?? )
" maybe i should buy you a shirt with a picture of me on it "
" or i could just act like i'm gay when girls come up to me "
" oh my gosh yes! "
———————・✦
• wonbin
boyfriend wonbin is the beginning of the sassy man apocalypse. i say this from the heart wonbin 🤍
no but it's really a good thing because you needed someone who would overdress everywhere with you 😋. he still has never overdressed you ofc, he knows his limits 😼
most people thought you guys were just this big glamorous couple who slept glamorously, went on big glamorous dates, and just breathed in glamorous air.
this, however, is a big lie. most of the time you had dates at home, in bed, eating takeout, and watching horror movies.
although wonbin is very very very very hot in every way, most of the time you just saw him as a guy who was born to be a cutie patootie, but was forced to act like the mysterious hot guy.
wonbin only let's you see the soft side of him because he can really open up to you, and you understand him so well.
if wonbin is ever having a bad day and won't open up to anyone, the members call you immediately since they know that you'd be able to calm him down in five minutes tops.
" go away "
" binnie, baby it's me. you can open the door "
———————・✦
• seunghan
boyfriend seunghan most definitely was best friend seunghan before you "accidentally" made out one night
your love language is annoying each other and pissing one another off <3
you two are most definitely the couple everyone brings over to have a good time. the both of you together is quite literally is the best combo you could put together for having fun.
seunghan will annoy you, but make it up with the dozens of gifts he gives you for no reason. you showed him something online? he bought it. you thought something was cute at the mall? he's already whipping his credit card out.
he's not necessarily clingy, but will be touching you most of the time just to make sure you don't disappear. whenever you're at a party, or in public, he'll have an arm around your waist just for reassurance. he does in fact think you'll get kidnapped if you're not in his line of vision.
boyfriend seunghan most definitely calls you the most out of pocket nicknames just for fun. he thinks it's gold comedy.
" i'm home cucumber! "
or
" how was your day tissue? "
———————・✦
• sohee
boyfriend sohee makes me want to go into a cuteness aggression not gonna lie to you. the biggest simp out of the seven.
has you as his lockscreen and homescreen, has your photo card in his phone case, your birthday is his phone password, and his password for all of his accounts is the day he asked you out. ( he's a bit obsessed ngl )
sohee is usually very smiley, but he never ever smiles as wide as when he's with you. you're the only one who gets to see his fully pearly white smile
is still really shy around you, but it's so endearing. like if you say "i love you" he'll say it back but his neck, ears, and face will be a shade of red. or if you kiss him it'll still take him a minute to calm down because he has the reddest face ever right now.
like shotaro, sohee talks about you too much too. but honestly he only does it sometimes to make them mad or annoyed, but sometimes he really does just to talk about his perfect girlfriend.
will make sure you NEVER eat alone. he just thinks it's so sad that his girlfriend would eat alone when she could be eating with him.
" have you already eaten? "
" yes "
" aw, i wanted you to eat with me "
" oh, i haven't eaten yet, what do you want? "
" but you just- "
———————・✦
• anton
boyfriend anton makes me want to skip around my room and sing " look at the grass, the dirt! just like i dreamed they'd be! "
he gets really shy when you compliment him, but will compliment you on every single thing you say or do. like he'll literally say you look perfect when you're in sweatpants, and it makes you wanna do cartwheels and swoon over him.
he will so lose it every time you dress up at all. like he's literally drooling with goo goo eyes and he will NOT leave your side.
he feels so small next to you even though he's literally a whole shaq o'neal 2.0. he still can't believe how he pulled a bad bitch like you.
his love language is physical touch, but he is too shy to make the first move. for example, when you're sitting on the couch, about to watch a movie, he'll keep his hands to himself even though he wants to lay on your chest and have you play with his hair so badly.
people figure out your dating because when he's on live he'll bring you up every chance he gets. like every time he reads a comment, he somehow finds every single one to have something to do with you.
" anton what's your tmi? "
" um, my tmi for today is that i watched y/n's performance at mcountdown in person today and oh my god- "
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heretherebedork · 4 months
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I just cannot get over that we got a canon omegaverse show that is also an alpha4alpha main pairing where the much tougher and more masculine alpha is also basically a broody chicken desperate for any hint of affection and melts when he's called mama and that the major conflict of the show is that his evil adoptive father who has almost as many bonsai trees as adoptive sons wants to breed him and sells his ultimate alpha babies in secret auctions oh also his boyfriend is also an adopted alpha who steals his special alpha powers and then offers to die for him seconds after revealing this only to win him back seconds later by reminding him that he is, in fact, a babygirl.
Oh, and there's also multiple other pairings including a teen who can see the future and the absolutely ancient 30 year old uncle who owns the racing garage who breaks down his walls, a pair of complete chaos boys who wear neon colors and have never had a thought that they didn't voice in their entire lives and don't care, a long term best friend pining man who is about to go full betrayal because he's basically an alpha incel but also has a very handsome man already flirting with his depressed ass every time he goes to the bar and there's more adopted alphas who all have such daddy issues that no one will ever be able to help them.
... I love this show so much.
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s-4pphics · 11 months
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tag, you're it! (e.w.)
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ITS PRIDE MONTH PUSSSSSSYYYYYYY 
omg this is kindaaaa…. yeah
imma lil proud LOL hope y’all like it 
wc;cw: 14.2k, ceosdaughter!ellie, tagger/artist!oc, ANGST!!, mentions of depression and suicidal ideation, illness, parental death & brief mentions of funerals, descriptions of foster care/homeless shelters and poverty, both oc n ellie have daddy issues, MOMMY ISSUES!!, brief mentions of drug addiction(coke), homophobia DURING PRIDE MONTH🤨🤨, internalized homophobia and misogyny, ellie is a horny touch starved loser n kinda stalkerish?, mentions of criminal injustice(police, prisons, etc.) i hate it here, rich ppl being demons, SMUT!!!!! MDNI!!!!, light descriptions of masturbation, potential dubcon!!, sexual tension😟, bratty subbottom!ellie, mean domtop!oc she carries her dick on her like a glock lol, slight fearplay, KNIFE PLAY/BLOOD, DIRTY TALK, finger and strap sucking, fingering, pussy eating, MOMMY KINK!!, nipple play, squirting <333 n creaming <333, riding, reverse cowgirl, slapping(FACE!!! ass titties), hitting it from the bbbbback, loss of virginity, masochism LOL, a lil ass play LOL, pretty taboo themes catch it
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“She’s… I genuinely believe she’s deranged, your honor! She’s… uncontrollable! Look at what she’s done to our city! Civilians can see her tracks everywhere they go, and it’s disgusting! Not to mention she’s a pervert!” 
You rolled your eyes as you listened to the high-pitched, ongoing shrieks of one of the wealthiest women in the state as she spat belittlements of you to the judge. 
You were… fucked. 
You adjusted in your uncomfortable chair, leaning back and crossing your arms over your chest, turning your head to eye your lawyer, arching a brow at him as you waited for his defenses for you. He looked… scared shitless, to say the least. 
Yeah. You were definitely going to fucking jail. 
Were these pieces of shit really going to treat you like Satan himself for pulling a measly, little prank? Has April Fools truly lost all meaning?
A couple of days ago, on April 1st, you took it upon yourself to spray paint ♡GIRLDICK♡ across the largest building in the city, which just so happened to be owned by the Miller family, if anyone even bothered to call their cultist bond that. Their wealth swiftly accumulated when the now deceased founder of the organization, Joel Miller, discovered some new form of AI technology… or whatever the elders at the shelter told you. His death shook your city years ago; You weren’t sure why it was so moving for people, but R.I.P, you guess. 
You assumed they were just another group of elitist fuckers, but he must’ve been decent at the most; You still remember his memorial broadcasting on the small TV at the shelter as the other residents mourned in solace. 
Regardless, you hope all their institutions across the nation collapse one day, preferably with the rest of them inside. 
The broad in the black, silk suit kept pointing her finger at you, and it took everything in your spirit to not get up out of your seat and rip it clean off her hand and shove it down her throat. 
Not every tag you’ve done around the city has been rooted in “perversion”. There’s nothing perverse about… loving girldick. It’s a way of life!
Fuck security cameras. 
Unbeknownst to them, you’ve already been coined as a hidden talent in the city, at least according to some people you know at the shelter. You’re faceless in the eye of the public, but that separation doesn’t negate their appreciation for your artwork. You even went viral for the mural you painted of your father for his birthday two years ago, even though the fucker that posted it on Instagram hadn’t included your signature. You could bet millions of people have seen it by now, and you gained absolutely nothing from it. 
But, of course, your form of creative expression was being reduced to a jizzing penis. You've created countless mosaics around the city that represent the purest forms of love and sex, and now you are being blasted for being some sort of corrupt sicko. You only drew what came natural to you, and if people felt a way about it, they could choke on the fattest girldick known to humanity. You hate rich people.
Your father didn’t sacrifice everything he had to teach you the complexities of sketching for your name to be attached to outlines of dicks. You didn’t grow up watching your father skip meals so he could get you a new water paint set for your birthday every year for your art to be lawfully ridiculed. The only comfort this situation brought was that you knew he would’ve found the sloppily drawn cock hysterical. You still remember his laugh after all this time. 
You miss him dearly. You probably could’ve been just as rich, if not more, as the bitch at the other table if he was still here with you. He would’ve ensured you didn’t stray off into the life you live now. 
Being in foster care was the dissipation of your joy. You were considered a problem child very early on: fighting the caretakers when they tried to calm you, cursing at them, stealing, and nobody wanted to adopt you because of that, regardless of your talents. You were set up to fail too early, and you despised the world because of it. 
Your record was horrendous, and you were going to jail. You fucking hate rich people.
… Except the Miller's eldest daughter. She gets a pass. 
And she keeps staring at you. 
Every time you caught her sparkly eyes, she blushed and looked forward, her freckles surrounded by a deep red that rushed down her neck. She was dressed much less… sophisticated than her mother: her hair tied back in a low bun and littered with black bobby-pins, a dark-blue sweater, rings on her thumb, black pants, and clean Vanz. 
You knew a lesbian when you saw one. You could barely hide your knowing smirk. 
“My child doesn’t need to be exposed to such… nauseating ideologies! Think of the children of the city and what they’re forced to see because of vile people like that,” she pointed at you again. You were this fucking close to stabbing her with that pen in front of you. 
Your daughter’s gay, Mrs. Miller. 
“With all due respect, ma’am,” the judge started. What kind of backwards shit was this; Wasn’t she supposed to be respecting him? “It’s important that we stay on track. You’re specifically suing her for vandalism— “
“Ongoing, unchecked vandalism! This is not her first charge, your honor, it’s her seventh! She’s… she’s— “
You tried to tune her out, looking around the congested space of the courtroom, and you caught eyes—shiny, green eyes— on you. Again. 
She was fiddling with her hands in her lap, her teeth picking at the dry skin on her bottom lip. But she didn’t look away this time. You watched her eyes trail over your face, down to your jaw, your neck, your chest, only to come back up to your eyes. 
You did the same, taking in the dots on her soft cheeks, her eyes, her pretty nose, and mouth, looking her up and down, biting your lip, letting her know you were gauging her. She was cute, you had to admit. 
“—sentenced to three years in federal prison— “
You looked up in shock, feeling like your body had been dunked into a tub of ice water and left to die, instantly stiffening at the announcement of your sentence, the sound of the slamming gavel nearly putting you six feet under. 
You couldn’t do anything but stare at the judge in disbelief as he organized his papers emotionlessly, your lawyer putting his hand on your shoulder. You knocked it off and glared at him. You looked over to the table, the family already up and taking their leave, Mrs. Miller’s hand tightly enclosed around her daughter’s wrist as she dragged her out the wooden doors.
Two security guards were already walking towards you with cuffs, gripping your arms too roughly to pull you up out of your seat and latching the metal around your skin. You started to panic as they walked you towards another set of doors.
“Wait, wait, my backpack, I need my— “
“You aren’t allowed to have anything on you. Your property will be held by the court until further notice.” 
“But— “
“No buts, and don’t resist,” you felt the security grip your arm harder, and your anxiety peaked, your panting breaths hardly leaving your body.
You didn’t resist. You couldn’t. Your life was shattering around you in slow motion, loose shards slicing through you with intent to kill. 
You allowed the brawly men to drag you… anywhere. You didn’t care anymore; You were tired, and no longer had the urge to fight left in your heart. 
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Ellie was brought up in isolation. 
Homeschooled, no friends, no purpose outside of being the vessel to represent her family name, creating the next line of heirs for her father’s company. 
The benefits of his successes had simply… appeared when she was fifteen. 
She remembered how he went from being present, gave her the utmost attention, played sports with her, taught her how to sing and self-defense with his past down switchblade, to not, completely cut off from society as he barricaded himself in his study and worked relentlessly on new forms of technology. Being an only child brought nothing but loneliness for her after a while. 
But then they were rich. They moved to an affluent neighborhood and into a two-story house in a matter of months, driving Porches and buying out stores. Wealth appeared, but the relationship with her family suffered because of it. 
Her father fell ill, and after a multitude of hospital visits, teary farewells, and a memorial, he was gone. Merely a memory that hardly seemed real. Her and her mother’s relationship became even more unsteady after his passing. 
Ellie’s mother swiftly took over the company in an almost authoritarian way. She interacted with society in a robotic, rehearsed manner. Mechanical, soulless, the only proof of her humanity exposing itself when she snorted white powder. 
Her mother had brought up the idea of marriage the second she turned eighteen, a year before her father’s passing, saying that there were multiple well-off men that were eager to be with her, willing to give her children. Multiple. 
Men…. children… having children with men. Money. The empire. Her mother.
It all made her nauseous. 
… But art didn’t. 
She’d always kept her journals secret. Left in a box on the highest shelf of her walk-in closet where the maids couldn’t find them.
She expressed everything that she couldn’t to her mother on paper. Her depression, her insomnia, her desire for death, her mourning, the need for sex with non-men, any form of physical connection, something—anything that made her feel human, normal.
She needed a fucking hug. A kiss. Sex. She wanted to fuck.
The first time she saw your artwork on an abandoned building as she chauffeured to the museum, she’d nearly fainted. 
It’d been two women on top of each other, the most intimate parts of their body covered with the other’s hands and skin. One had her head between the other’s legs atop blankets and flowers as the other… apparently in the middle of an orgasm. Her mother always made the point of sex sound so… stiff. Lifeless. Merely a factor of procreation.
But your art was so erotic. Sensual. So full of pleasure and softness and care. 
She’d almost jumped out of the car and onto oncoming traffic to get a closer look at every detail, but the car was too quick. She couldn’t even get a fucking picture. 
And she was soaking. How the fuck was she going to explore a museum when she was dripping like this?! 
You’d given her one of the strongest orgasms she’d ever had in her life when she returned home that day, and she didn’t even know who you were. She’d spent hours with her hand between her legs as she thought of your creation while her mother was out working, moaning and crying out as loud as she wanted, and she wasn’t even embarrassed. 
She would sneak out in the darkest clothes she had when her mother passed out on the couch, and just walk. Specifically in search for anything with your signature that she’d memorized like it was her own. She’d taken pictures of your content, memorized them, got off to the suggestive ones in secret, and appreciated your love and passion for your craft. 
She’d even started recreating her own depictions of eroticism. All with women. They never looked the same: different heights, all skin tones and body types, anything that she could think of, she drew it. She’d tried to envision what you looked like after only a few weeks, and she prayed her envisions were at least somewhat accurate. 
She never could draw self-portraits with precision, but she knew it was her. She was always in the middle of the raunchiness that she conjured up in her mind, being touched everywhere, tied up, beaten, completely ripped apart and forced to forget the suffocating world around her. Her reimagining's of herself would be drowned in pleasure, sometimes by you, by herself, by faceless strangers. Anything she wanted. 
When she saw you for the first time, she almost couldn’t control herself. 
She’d felt like a fucking creep as she ducked behind parked cars to watch you paint all over an abandoned freight train behind a trashed building. The streets had been silent as she watched you decorate the metal cart in floral interpretations of pussy, her heart in her throat. 
You looked gorgeous and focused and tired. So, so tired, only in sweats and a tank top with a hefty bag strapped to your back. She assumed you kept your art supplies in there.
Ellie couldn’t keep her eyes off you when she’d seen you during your court hearing. 
You were just as gorgeous as the first time she saw you, but, somehow, even more exhausted. Far away, not really present, but she couldn’t blame you. And she couldn’t stop staring, enthralled by you. Even in your grayest moments, you made her feel vibrant. And that brought her guilt.
But it also made her lustful. Hungry. 
And she couldn’t stop staring. 
When her mother dragged her out of the hearing, she was enraged, even more so when she degraded you on the way back to the car. 
You fucking stared at that whore the whole time!
Don’t ever, in your life, embarrass me again. 
I’ll throw you in the gutter with that rat if you ever disrespect me like you just did in there. Do you understand?
Ellie didn’t even know what she did to garner a response this aggressive, but she was used to it. And, for the first time in her life, she didn’t care. She didn’t give a fuck. 
At that moment, she knew what she had to do.
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It was your fifth day in prison, and you felt nothing. 
You didn’t cry, you didn’t plead, you simply succumbed to your destiny in silence. Your father would be so disappointed if he were alive. 
I raised a fighter, so you fucking fight!
But you couldn’t. You were tired, and you wished you could stay asleep, never to wake up again.
You’ve been working like a dog since you got here, and you accepted it. This was your life, and you felt nothing. 
Until your cell unlocked. These fuckers were probably here to shit talk you again. 
They cuffed your wrists and led you somewhere. You didn’t care where, keeping your head down as they encased your arms in a calloused grasp. You hoped this location would be your last forever. 
They led you into an empty room and uncuffed you. You saw the old sweatsuit that you’d received from the shelter, and your heartbeat sped up. You looked at the security in confusion. What the fuck were they doing? What were they about to do?
You could barely hear what the officers were saying, jumbled words of bail bond and cash payments molding together and sounding like a foreign language to you. They undid your handcuffs and pointed towards the clothes, murmuring for you to change so they could transport you back to the courthouse to retrieve your belongings. 
What the fuck is going on?
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When you returned to the shelter, you inspected your bag. After nearly scrubbing your skin off while showering. 
The contents were all in their original condition, each individual item wrapped in plastic with small notes attached to them. Except for your dick. You assumed the court had no comments. 
Your paint, your brushes, random hairpins, your notebooks. They were all there in their original condition. Thank god. 
What you didn’t expect to see was a new jacket, sweatsuit, and small note wrapped in the same plastic from inspection. 
You ripped the plastic open and retrieved the note, unfolding it and… confusion, arousal, and fear rushed through you, shocking your body as all your feelings shot down your spine. 
It was a sketch of… you. And a girl bent over with her hands bound behind her back as you fucked her. An… incredibly familiar looking girl. 
A freckled girl. A rosy-cheeked girl. The rosy-cheeked girl from a week ago with the psychotic, sadistic mother.
Her expression in the sketch was pure ecstasy. It looked like she was screaming, her cheeks shaded dark with water-paint and her hair a reddish-brown, thrown in all sorts of directions. Her eyes wild and erotic. Yearning. Teary. Her pleasure seemed dream-like.
And you looked just as gone. Head tossed back, sweaty with your dick shoved inside her pussy, your nails digging into the soft skin on her hips, small, but deep, bloody scratches following the painful glide of your fingertips that make the red blotches on her backside. There were small doodles of strap-ons and pussies smudged, erased, fixed to perfection that seemed almost manic. Obsessive. 
You looked at the bottom of the crumpled piece of paper, a small signature across the bottom of it. 
♡GIRLDICK♡
Come back home. Five days.
E.M.
… Come back home? You don’t have a fucking home. And who the fuck is E.M? Your heart was beating against your chest, climbing up your throat in an attempt to escape your body entirely. You couldn’t stop your eyes from flying across the sloppy penmanship. 
… ♡GIRLDICK♡
E.M.
M. 
♡GIRLDICK♡
M.
… Miller Enterprise. 
Miller. 
… Freckles. 
…. What in the fuck. 
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It was almost dark, and you were shivering as the wind blew past you. 
It had been five days. 
You were eyeing the large building in front of you from across the street, a giant M slapped across the top of it, windows galore, hoodie on your head and trembling hands shoved in your pockets. 
You could see the last bit of employees trickling out of the building, clad in suits and tight pencil skirts, heavy briefcases and clicking heels. 
You could also see the fresh white and black paint covering where your spray-painted dick used to be, and it made you chuckle to yourself. You were almost tempted to recreate it with your new snagged bottle of acrylic. It supposedly glowed in the dark. 
But then you saw a dark shadow in the corner of your eye, hurriedly moving past the glass of the entrance. 
Your heart raced instantly at the thought of being discovered, and you followed the body's movement. You could see it was Ellie the closer she got to the glass, dressed in a black sweater and comfortable pants, and her same shoes from the court hearing. She looked antsy, a bit on edge, but curious. She was anticipating seeing you. 
You could see her messing with the keypad on the door, the loud sounds of locks clicking over the bustling streets. Flashes of red, swiftly replaced with flashes of green shined through the maxi-glass, and she looked around at all the doors. What was she checking for?
She seemed satisfied with her job, and she slid the entry door open, leaving it slightly ajar so she could slip something between it. 
She gave one last glance at the system before bolting back inside and down the lengthy hallway before all the hall lights shut off. 
Did she… did she just disable all the alarms for you? 
Now, you were the one anticipating meeting her. 
You ran across the street the second you got a chance, hurdling through traffic before running up onto the sidewalk and treading the stairs. 
You looked down and noticed two pens taped together, holding the door open. You picked them up and inspected them, a glossy, silver M near the gel tip. 
You stepped inside before anyone noticed, the door automatically shutting behind you before the same green lights came on, a robotic voice confirming that the doors were locked.
You were inside the Miller Enterprise, and you were terrified.
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Ellie was so nervous. 
She’d been checking her Chanel watch all day, obsessively monitoring the windows to see if anyone that resembled your form had arrived, but she was disappointed every time she looked. No sign of you, yet.
The later it got, the more anxious she became. Did you see the note she left in your bag? Was it too forward? Did you think she was fucking crazy? Did you hate her for what her mother did? She prayed not. 
She was currently pacing around her mother’s—father’s—dark office, every step of her shoes echoing in the nearly empty room. She hasn’t been in here since she was seventeen, and it brought just as much anxiety as it did the first time. 
This will all be yours when I’m gone, don’t fucking ruin it. 
She hated everything about this space. Every aspect of her dad was completely gone. All his pictures, his vinyl, his pens and pencils, his nameplate. Everything. All of it, completely void of emotion. 
She hated it, she hated it. 
But then she heard a clang in the hallway, and her anxiety picked up even more before she could process it. 
She quickly made her way over to the exit, peeking her head through the doorframe and examining the hallway, searching for you. The noise had to be you! You really came! She could feel her nipples getting hard already.
But she saw no one. No one was in the dark hallway. 
… Fuck.
Why did she shut the system off? The lights wouldn’t come on!
Her hands instantly got clammy, her heart racing, and her knees shook. She hadn't felt like this since she was a kid, and she was horrified.
Someone’s here to hurt you, someone’s going to come in and hurt you!
You never leave doors unlocked! He always said to lock your doors, never, never, never—
She couldn’t stop the intrusive thoughts from taking over her entire body, reaching into her pocket and pulling out her father’s switchblade, pressing its latch down to expose the blade. She slammed the door shut and walked over to the large window and tried to steady her breathing. She looked out of the glass and inhaled harshly. 
Keep your grip tight when you strike! 
Calm down calm down calm down—
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“Boo.” 
You saw Ellie jump with a hard gasp before spinning to face you, a fearful look on her face and her switchblade in hand, pointed edge towards you. 
You could see her chest rise up and down with every shaky breath she took, her body trembling and cheeks flushed. You felt like your body was going to burst into flames, but you hid it, grinning slyly at her as you stepped forward. 
Deep breath. 
“Hi, Ellie.”
Another step forward. She took two back, nearly pressed against the glass. 
“Y-You,” she stuttered as her eyes darted around nervously, and you could see her cheeks flushing in the darkness, “How’d you get in here?” 
“I think you know how.” 
You shrugged, the contents of your bag shuffling on your back. You pointed towards the large, stretched windows behind her that oversaw the entire city, the hustling streets and lights beaming into the dimly lit room from the last bits of sunset. 
“View’s incredible,” your mockery littered in sarcasm. Don’t let her know you’re scared. 
She took a bold step forward as her brows furrowed, anger twisting on her doll-like face. You took two, as well. You saw her eyes dart to your feet before meeting your gaze to hiss at you.
“There’re cameras on every floor of this fucking building! I press that button,” She darted her small knife towards the enclosed, red button on the side of the wall, a large print of EMERGENCIES ONLY directly above it. “And every cop in this city’ll show up and take your ass back to the fucking gutter where you’re supposed to be.” 
… How the fuck was she going to threaten you when she told you to come here?! What was she playing at?
She pointed her weapon back at you. You ignored your confusion and raised an impressed brow before walking forward without pause, pulling her mother’s chair out from under the desk, the wheels squeaking against the marbled tile. You saw the grip she had on her knife tighten. 
You smiled at her. “You’re pretty good with a knife, honey.” 
“Fuck you. Don’t fucking call me that.”
“I dunno,” you scoffed, twirling on your heels as you took in the luxurious space around you. “I can bet my bottom ass dollar that you like it.” 
Her glare hardened, and your smile brightened. You finally moved to sit in the chair, the plush leather molding against your body and stuffed backpack. You scooted back under the desk and rested your elbows on the hand-carved rosewood, completely calm. At least outwardly. Your insides were jittery from adrenaline. 
You quickly inspected the contents of the desk: her mother’s matching rosewood nameplate, some loose paperwork with large sums of money scattered on them, dark pens and markers, and a signed restraining order. With your name on it. 
You’re apparently not allowed a hundred feet within the perimeter of the building. 
… Funny. 
“Press it.” 
Her scowl hardened, “What?” 
You pointed a lax finger towards the button as you looked up from the document, “I said press it. You want me gone so bad, right?” 
She didn’t reply, her fingers fidgeting around the knife as she adjusted her grip. Her eyes nervously flitted across the room, all over the white floors, back on you. 
“You’re not gonna press the fucking button.” You spat with a devilish smile. “And I know why.” 
“Fuck you, you don’t know sh— “
“You paid my bail.” 
You heard her release a shaky exhale when you sliced through her words, her eyes widening in shock like she saw through you, and you knew you had her. Your smile widened as your nails pattered where you tapped on the desk. 
“Uh huh. Why’d you do it?” 
Her throat moved as she swallowed, and you almost laughed. 
You reached into your jacket pocket and pulled out the piece of paper that kept you company in your small cot during your restless nights, unfolding it and holding up the explicit depiction that she left in your bag days ago. You pressed her as you swung the chair with your foot, “Think somebody’s got a little crush. Mommy’s gonna be so upset with you.” 
“FUCK YOU!” She marched towards you until she was in front of the desk, her scent enclosing around you before you felt the incredibly sharp blade against the side of your neck, and you stiffened in terror. You looked at her in shock, studying her expression. She looked pissed, but you saw… something in her eyes that made your core squeeze tight. 
It was vulgar, needy, and you hoped she missed your body’s excited shudder at her crude rage. 
She didn’t. Curiosity shone behind her lust and fiery, her enraged shrieks shook your eardrums. 
“You’re fucking worthless! You really think anyone’s gonna care about you rotting in a fucking cell?! You’re… you’re nothing! You’re a low life! You’re… you’re! —“
You deadened your own eyes as you slowly moved to stand, but she pressed the knife deeper into your skin as she leaned over the desk, your faces closer together. You stiffened and felt a sting on your skin, and a drop of wetness. Your pussy squeezed, and you could feel sweat looking under your jacket. 
“Gonna kill me, Ellie?” You glared at her, your heart pounding with fear and exhilaration. 
Say you want me. Say it, sayitsayitsayit!
Her eyes were vengeful as she scanned your face, but you saw that glint grow behind the harsh overcast. Something you craved just as badly as she did. 
“Really want mommy to see her precious girl killing somebody on camera? Hm?” 
“She,” her breath shuddered. “wouldn’t give a fuck if it were you, I promise.” 
You barely whispered your reply as you leaned even closer, your nipples hardening under your sports bra and your underwear clinging to your wetness. 
“Then do it.”
The heavy breaths she released hit your face in a burning wind, and your core tightened once more. You could see the aggression on her face slowly dissipate, that giddy sparkle in her eye overtaking her pupils as they darkened. 
You felt the cold steel pull away from you slowly, her hand coming down on the desk, — unfortunate— and it threw you into action.
Your hand flew up to her throat and squeezed the sides, and you heard the clatter of the object as it hit the wood. You heard her suck in a choked breath as her eyes glossed over, suddenly desperate and wanton and scared like you’d been seconds before. She looked like a neglected kitten, and it made you hold her neck in tighter constriction. 
She whimpered aloud as she attempted to gasp, her hand coming up to grab your wrist, but you snatched it away with your free hand, and it limply dropped to the desk, her body submitting. 
You leaned in closer to her, and her eyes squeezed shut, lips puckered, silently begging for you to kiss her. You snickered. 
You let her neck go and slammed your palm across her blushing cheek, a loud crack! filling the room. 
She cried aloud, looking like she was about to burst into tears as she jumped off the desk and backed away from you, her hand pressed against her searing cheek. You rose to your feet and circled around the desk, rushing towards her until she was pressed up against the window. Tears were running down her face. You shoved her closer against the glass, grabbing her cheeks to force her to look at you. 
“You’ve been watching me, haven’t you? I got a little fan, is that it?” 
“N-No— “
“Yeah, I do. Fuckin’ stalker. Probably gotta whole shrine t’me in your fucking room. Does mommy know that you worship me? The lowlife who fucked up her building?” You snapped at her.
She flinched at your tone before she choked out a gasped sob, “I j-just liked what you m-made.”
“Stop crying, Ellie.”
She nodded as she sniffled, wiping the tears off her cheeks. You grasp loosened on her cheeks as you cupped her face, your thumb brushing away the wetness on her already bruising skin. You noticed how she leaned into your caress. It made your heart jolt.
“Look at me,” you whispered. 
She hesitantly met your eyes. 
“You wanna kiss me?”
She looked down at her shuffling feet, and you saw her fist clench. 
“Answer me.” 
“Y-Yes, wanna kiss. Just… just one?”
You hummed in satisfaction, inching closer towards her like you did previously. She stiffened but shut her eyes tightly, her plush lips poking out in a pucker once more as your noses touched. You chuckled and whispered, your lips brushing against hers as you spoke. 
“You ever kissed anyone, baby?”
She sighed out an uneven nuh uh, her mouth chasing yours. You grinned wider.
“Oh? M’gonna be your first kiss?” 
She whined out a needy uh huuuh! 
You stuck your tongue out, slowly running the wet muscle over her lower lip, and you felt her whole body tremble against yours. She brainlessly stuck her tongue out to lick yours, but you pulled back. She tried to follow you, but you yanked her head back by the small bun at the back of her head, the soft strands curling around your fist. 
She let out a moan, and your tongue licked up her exposed throat, leaving a trail of spit up her chin, all the way to her mouth. 
You relented and connected your mouths, and she let out a shocked noise into your mouth. You slipped your tongue in her gaping mouth, wet, smacking noises filling the room as you kissed her hotly. She couldn’t keep up with your quick movements, her lips and tongue moving sloppily against yours. Her spit was all over the outside of your mouth. 
You felt her hands come up to your hips to grip your jacket in a tight fist as she moaned into your mouth. 
The noises she let out were so sweet: little, excited gasps and whiny keens as she tried to pull you closer. 
You released her hair and grabbed her chin to move her head to the side. You kissed down her neck, and she jerked against you. Her breaths increased in pace as you pecked her sweaty skin, lapping your tongue all over the side.
You sucked into the skin under her ear, right under her jaw, pulling her sweater down to mark her collarbone. 
“Pleeease, pleaseplease, ah— “
You mumbled in between gentle sucks, “What, Ellie? Talk.” 
You felt her hands grab your hips tighter, but she said nothing. You pushed her hands off you roughly and looked at her with piercing eyes. She shrunk into herself when she met them. 
“When I tell you to do something, you do it. You understand?” 
She nodded quickly. 
“So fucking talk,” you gritted out. 
“Want,” she whispered with a sharp gasp. “Want you.” 
You smirked, “You want me?”
“Mmhm!”
You shoved your backpack off your shoulders, the thud echoing when it hit the floor. 
“Want me to do what?”
She paused before looking down at her feet again, twiddling and picking at her fingers as her face burned red. 
“Um…” 
You rolled your eyes and turned away from her, but you felt her hand grab your wrist and you stopped. You looked at her in annoyance. 
She looked at you tentatively, her breathing shaky. 
But then she slowly brought your hand in between her legs. 
She shivered as she placed her hand on top of yours, making you rub her cunt back and forth. She released pleased sighs as her lashes fluttered, her head falling back against the window as she looked at you up and down. 
“P-Please?” She licked her lips. “Wan’you here.”
You scoffed in shock, and her thighs squeezed down on both your hands. You pressed your palm closer against her, and her hips bucked into you. 
You moved closer to her, your clothed chests pressed together. 
“Move your hand,” you spoke quietly, just for her to hear even though you were alone.
She dropped it limply. You pressed your palm into her covered clit, and she moaned. 
You leaned in, your lips brushing her cheek as you spoke.
“Baby just wanted her pussy touched? That’s why you acted out earlier?”
She didn’t speak as she panted heavily. You brought your hand up to slap her cheek again, and she released a pained cry as her hips twitched. 
“Talk!”
“Yes! Needa… need t’be touched!”
“Tell me where.” You brought your hand back down to her pussy as fresh tears slid down her cheeks. 
She sobbed. “A-Anywhere!”
You leered at her soft face. “Yeah? I get t’choose?” 
She nodded quickly, her eyes screaming touch me, please! Make me cum!
“Open your mouth, honey. Stick your tongue out.”
She mewled softly, but did what you asked, her shiny, pink muscle glistening under the beaming city lights. 
You brought your hand up, rubbing your index and middle finger on her soft tongue. 
“Get ‘em wet.”
She hummed as she sucked them into her mouth with no hesitation. You felt her tongue messily swirl around your digits as she sighed contently, and you pressed an encouraging peck on her cheek. 
You slowly fucked your fingers in, pulling them out, only to push them back in again. You almost awwed aloud when she chased your digits every time you pulled out. She was already drooling for them. 
You pressed her tongue down as you fucked in, and she gagged on them. Her eyes shot open and they instantly watered, her throat tightening around you. 
“Bet you suck a mean dick,” you muttered before you could stop yourself. 
She moaned loudly as you fucked deeper into her mouth, pressing down on the back of her tongue. 
“Oh, yeah? Want mine down that pretty throat?”
She garbled and nodded as much as she could with your fast thrusts in her mouth. You couldn’t wait to fuck it open. 
“Snooped through my shit, didn’t you? Saw my fucking cock and creamed yourself? That’s why you bought me new shit?”
You saw her bring a hand down to touch her pussy, her hips bucking into her own hand, chasing any stimulation. You grabbed her wrist and pulled it away from her. 
You finally eased up on her throat and pulled out completely, lines of slobber connecting your fingers and her mouth together. You cut them with your own tongue, her spit clinging to the edges of your mouth. 
You planted a smacking kiss on her lips before you shoved your hand down her dark, flared pants and into her boxers. 
She squealed when you immediately found her clit with your spit covered fingers, the slippery bud sliding between your already drippy fingers. You watched her hand fly to the white windowsill for balance as your hand went wild on her cunt. 
“Such a wet fucking pussy. Feels good, baby?”
Her brows creased as she nodded, her body rocking with your movements. “A-Ah! —“ 
“Uh huh. You touch yourself like this when mommy’s at work? Hm?”
Her head shamefully jerked in confirmation. You could see her now: her pretty legs spread on her plush bed, her sopping pussy squeezing at the thought of you fucking her just how she needed. She’d be grabbing at her tits as she flicked her clit, desperate to cum all over her blankets for you. Your pussy was so wet. 
“You think about me when you do it?” You knew the answer, but you needed her to say it. Confirm that she thought about you just as much as you thought about her. 
“Yes! Yes, yes!”
“Fucking whore, no wonder she hates your guts.”
She moaned louder at your degradation. “S’c—coming! “
Your fingers were practically vibrating on her cunt, her clit thumping as her orgasm built. “Get my fingers nice’n sloppy, angel, c’mon— “
She reached down to grab your wrist as she jumped on your fingers, but before you could slap her, her body tensed, and her eyes rolled into her skull. You felt her clit pulsate under your touch, and you knew she was cumming.
“Fuckmemommy!”
You couldn’t stop the shock that appeared on your face as you watched her thrash on your hand, gasping out, asking you to please fuck me, mommy! Need you to fuck me!
You just massaged her through it, pressing your hips up against hers so she couldn’t run from your touch. 
“Wan’mommy to fuck you, angel?” you mumbled in your daze as your pussy dripped, your brain barely registering what you just said.
“Yespleasepleaseplease, gimme— “
“Fuck, baby, need mommy inside you?” Your heart was pounding in your ears. 
“M-Mhhm!—“
“Gimme your leg,” You lifted it up with your free hand, bringing it up so it came around your waist.
You slid your fingers down to her twitchy entrance and slipped the tip of your pointer finger inside. You almost moaned at how her walls clung to you, sucking you in deeper, milking you.
“Tightest fuckin’ pussy,” you mumbled to her, and she whimpered when your finger arched inside her. You prodded around until she slumped against you, pushing her hips down on your finger. You leaned in, your lips brushing her ear as you cooed right there? yeah? feels fuckin’ good?
She couldn’t even speak. She just plopped her head onto your shoulder and sloppily kissed your neck. Your cunt clenched and you flinched when her soft tongue licked into the small slit she made earlier. You heard her hum as her tongue swiped a line from your collarbone to your cut; She was licking your blood up like a fucking dog!
It made you punch that spot in her harder, and she cried out against your skin, her nails digging into your forearm. 
You slowly pushed your middle finger in, and she sobbed as she stretched around you. You arched your thumb out to rub her clit as you poked that spongy spot in her pussy; She was so loud for you. 
“Like when I touch you there?” 
“I like it, like it s’much!” You felt her nodding mindlessly against you.
“Gonna cum on me again?” you spat at her. 
“Fuck yes!” 
“Know you’re gonna cum hard, can’t even fuck you like I wanna, squeezing me so tight.”
You dug your fingers as deep and fast into her as her cunt would allow. Her walls were choking the fuck out of you, practically screaming for them to stay where you were pressed inside her. How the fuck was she going to take you fully?!
The thought of breaking her open made you shake, “Gonna make this pussy take me. Can’t wait t’give you this fucking dick.”
Then she started screaming out for you, trying to get you closer, wrapping her arms around you, her leg dropping onto the floor. “Ohgodohgodohgod, m’cumming, mommy, I’mcu—AH!”
You almost fell back when she went limp on you, her knees buckling as her slick coated your fingers, your palm, her panties. You used your weight to push her back against the window, her head thudding against the glass like before, but she seemed too engulfed in her desire to care. You almost brought your hand up to comfort her sore spot, anyway, but you stopped yourself. 
You took her in: practically dangling off you as she wailed from orgasm, her face beat red, the bun at the back of her head almost loose, her eyelids fluttering. You sneered at her, a nasty grin on your face. 
“Atta girl, so excited for cock, ain’t she?”
She could only grind out yesyesyes between her teeth, her fingers still squeezing down on you as you rubbed her clit, her orgasm slowing down. 
“You gotta make me cum first, m’kay?” 
“W’na make… mommy cum!” she nodded like a bobblehead as she slurred. 
“Yeah? Want mommy’s cum in your mouth?”
She wept desperately, “Yes, please, need it!”
You grinned, catching a glimpse of your desperate reflection in the mirror. You’re so glad she was too fucked out to notice.
“C’mon, honey.” 
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Ellie stood in front of you as you sat in her mother’s chair, her shoes kicked off. 
Your bag was tossed next to you as you stared at her, noting her fidgeting stance. She wasn’t looking at you, at all. She was looking down, specifically at your occupied hands. 
You’d picked up her discarded knife from the table, inspecting its rusty, scratched design, slightly bloody blade, retraction. You couldn’t stop fiddling with it. 
“W-What’re gonna do with that?” You heard her ask. 
You ignored it. “Where’d you get it?”
“It was my dad’s.” Her voice went sharp. 
“What kinda father lets his baby play with such sharp objects?” You said in between sarcastic snickers. 
“He’s fucking dead, who cares.” 
You finally looked up at her sharp tone, examining her tense face, and your playful smile slowly dropped. She tried to appear as if mentioning it didn’t bother her, but you recognized that look in her eye from anywhere. Grief fucking sucks, no matter how much time passed.
“… Hm.” 
You looked down at the blade again, then back up at her, “He taught you how to… handle it?” 
She shrugged, her brows raising as her arms crossed over her chest. You nodded. 
Your arm was suddenly incredibly itchy. “Mine taught me how to… draw n’stuff.” 
You looked off to the side awkwardly as you reminisced on the first pack of colored pencils he’d bought you. You remembered how particular he was about the art utensils and their conditions. You didn’t realize that he was trying to ensure their quality because he couldn’t afford another pack until you got older.
Always make sure these bastards are sharpened! That’s true precision!
“… Cool,” you heard her say, and you looked at her, “Were you guys, uh, close?” 
“Mhm,” You nodded stiffly, and silence surrounded the two of you. Ellie awkwardly nodded as she stared at the floor, and your lips twitched before you turned to stare out the window.
Some time passed in pure silence before you heard her speak. 
“… Still wanna, uh… D’you still wanna fuck?” 
You looked at her as she fumblingly scratched the back of her head. Her eyes met yours as her ears burned. You grinned as your shoulders rose.
“Up to you.” 
“Like… I still wanna if you do,” She nibbled on her bottom lip. 
You leaned back in her mom’s seat. 
“Ellie.” 
The deep tone of your voice made her look up, her eyes shining like crystals as her arms dropped to her sides. 
“Yes?” 
“… C’mere.” 
She moved, her sock-covered feet padding on the floor until she was in front of you. 
You looked up at her, your hand coming up to play with the hem of her sweater. 
You spoke softly, “Off. C’mon.” 
She grabbed the back of her top and lifted it over her head, her bare chest jiggling with her movements. She tossed the fabric to the floor. 
You eyed her chest like you were going to swallow her whole, her perky nipples urging you to reach out and pull on them. Her pussy is so fucking sensitive; Were her nipples just as bad? Worse? Could she cum just from you touching them? Fuck, she probably could—
“Are they… Do you like them?” 
Her soft whisper cut through your gawking. You met her eyes through your lashes as she squirmed in front of you. 
Your hands came up to grab her hips, massaging them gently. 
“Yeah, baby. They’re so pretty, fit you perfectly.” 
She sighed in content, “T-Thank you.” 
You planted a soft kiss to her tummy as you looked at your thumb around the elastic of her pants to pull them down. 
Her stomach jerked with every sharp breath as your lips moved on her bare skin. You felt her hand come up to your shoulder to grasp it as she stepped out of her pants. 
Your hands traveled upward to grab both her tits in a rough squeeze. She wheezed and arched her back so you could get closer. You heard her murmur a quiet fuckme, and you looked up. She was watching your every move with wide, curious eyes. You held her gaze as you licked up her torso, and she whimpered. 
You brought your hands back down to grab the back of her thighs, moving her closer to your lap. She placed her hands on your shoulders as she climbed on top of you, and you sucked her nipple into your mouth. 
She grinded down onto you and moaned, and your eyes fluttered shut. Your tongue made circular movements on the pert bud, and you hummed at the taste of her soft skin. Her head fell forward as she gasped right in your ear, and it made you suck on her hard. 
Her hips were jerking on top of you, trying to fuck down onto your clothed thigh as her nails plunged into your back. 
“Feels so… mmh!”
You brought your hand back up to her other tit and played with her nipple with your fingers. 
And then you slapped it. Hard. 
She let out a sharp squeak and mindlessly bounced on top of your leg; You could feel a slight dampness building on your jeans, and you scoffed at her, sneering when you pulled away. You hit her other tit just as hard, your spit transferring onto your palm. 
“Ah! Fuckfuckfu— “
Smack!
“Yes!”
SMACK!
She squealed. “M’gonna cum!”
You reached up to slap her face before pulling her hair to the side with a tight fist. 
You quickly grabbed her switchblade off the desk and unlatched the blade, the sharp edge popping up. You instantly pressed it to her neck, and she choked on a ragged pant. 
The lust in her eyes was accompanied by fear, and you grinned. 
“Don’t get scared now. You were waving it around earlier. So ready to fight, huh?” 
She shuddered, rutting down on your leg again, and you pressed the sharp edge into her skin harder. Her eyes shut tight, and two fat tears fell down her cheeks. She nearly bounced on you. 
“I could fuck you up right here, you know that, right?” 
“Please, mommy, needa cu—!”
You moved the knife away and released her hair, slapping her in the face again. “Shut the fuck up, you nearly slit my fuckin’ throat and now you wanna fuck. I should leave right now, fucking brat.”
She sobbed, “Nonono, please don’t leave, mommy don’t go, m’sorryI’m— “
“Mommy, don’t go!” you mocked. “Get on your fuckin’ knees.” 
You kept the blade pressed against her jugular as she clumsily shuffled to the floor, her cries shaking her body. 
“You wanna apologize?” She nodded jerkily, minding the silver edge on her vein.
“Yeah? Wanna make mommy feel better?” You said with a mean pout. 
“Mhm!”
You sloppily kicked your boots off and shoved them under the desk. 
“Take m’pants off, baby. C’mon.”
She moved quickly, unbuttoning and tugging your jeans and underwear down your legs as she sniffled. She yanked them off with a hard tug, and her eagerness made you giggle as you lifted your hips. You unzipped your jacket and pulled it off your shoulders, tossing it to the floor, leaving you in your black tank top. You could’ve sworn you saw a glimpse of a grin on her face as she eyed your breasts before she dived towards your cunt. 
You shoved the knife closer against her, and you saw blood pool at the edge of the blade. She looked up at you with an anxious expression. 
“I didn’t say you could touch me. Ask nicely.” 
She looked confused as she mumbled brokenly, “Ask you what?”
Your brows furrowed at her, “My mistake. You probably never had to ask for shit in your life.” 
Her bruised cheeks glowed red as she looked down in embarrassment. 
You grinned slyly. “Say, mommy, may I eat your pussy, please?” 
Shock overtook her expression before she rolled her eyes at you and looked to the side.
“You’re fucking cra— “
You yanked her dark hair back and pointed the end of the blade against her bruised jaw. Her ragged breaths hit your face.
“Say it.” 
“Y-You're not gonna hurt me,” she stated unsteadily. 
“You don’t know shit about me, and even if I did hurt you, you’d want it. Admit it.” 
She avoided your gaze and her lips quivered. 
You continued. “You’d let me do anything I want because you’re disgusting. A filthy fucking slut with a silver spoon in her mouth.”
You huffed at her with a frown. “And you like girls. You’d be just as worthless as I am in her eyes if she found out.” 
You nodded over to her mother’s nameplate, and her eyes shut like she was a child getting scolded for stealing candy at the store. 
“I’m right, baby? You don’t want a husband? Don’t wanna get bred for the empire like she wants?”
She shamefully shook her head as tears fell down her face. You didn’t even know if she was in that circumstance or not, but by her reaction, it seemed to cut her deep. You ignored the searing pain in your chest.
“Mhm, so,” you turned her head so she could look at you, her red eyes burning through yours. “Something you wanna ask me?” 
Her mouth dropped open in submission.
“M-Mommy, may I… May I eat your pussy, please?” 
You smiled in satisfaction, placing a gentle kiss on her wet forehead. 
“Yes, baby, you may.” 
You pulled the knife away from her and set it on the desk, grabbing her chin to plant a kiss to her mouth. She whined happily into yours. 
You pulled back and adjusted your position, leaning back with your legs spread, the underside of your knees hooked into the armrests of the seat, your cunt on full display for her. Your sopping pussy was right next to her face, and you saw her eyes flutter in delight. 
“Want me t’show you how?” 
She nodded intensely. 
You brushed away the flyaway hairs on her forehead, your hand planted on the back of her head. 
“Spit on my clit, babe. Get it nice n’wet.” 
She released a glob of spit right onto your pulsing bud,
and you sighed as it dribbled down to your hole. You tilted her head back, remnants of slobber collecting on her chin. You gathered spit in your mouth and pulled her lower lip down, her mouth falling open. You spat onto her tongue, and she moaned, tilting her head down to spit it out all over your pussy. You bit your lip so hard; you almost drew blood.
You reached down and spread your lips, your throbbing clit poking through. You could see her trembling as she eyed you. 
“Wanna taste, Ellie?”
“Yeah, please, mommy,” she choked out. 
“Lick me, then, honey.” 
She wasted no time, the tip of her tongue circling around the nub instantly. Your mouth fell open at the sensation. The pink muscle was so soft, the licks slow and gentle, barely there. 
“Doing so good, baby, take your time,” you sighed out. 
She keened at your praise; her lashes flitted like butterfly wings in Spring as she rubbed your clit in deep licks. 
“Fuck, Ellie, s’so sensitive,” she whined against you, eyes begging for your approval as she watched your expression. You caressed her burning cheek with your pointer finger, and she licked deeper.
“Fuck, baby, that’s it, making me so happy,” her eyes rolled shut as she tongued you, sliding her tongue all over your pussy in slow strokes. 
You moaned out every time she came up to lap at your clit. You guided her head down to your hole, and her tongue slipped inside, slurping up all your slick. You were gasping her name out as her tongue wiggled inside you, swirling all over your walls. 
“Such a good girl, fuck, El!” you groaned out as wet sounds filled the room. “Wanna make mommy cum?”
She hummed excitedly and nodded, her tongue moving back up to massage your clit. You tightened her grip on her head, forcing it to move back and forth her hums shaking your clit. 
She moved her head faster against you when she sucked your clit into her mouth, and your head fell back against the chair as your eyes rolled back. Your thighs were shaking, toes curled as you squealed out encouragement. You needed to cum, she was going to make you cum!
“Get me there, pretty, m’— gonna make me fuckin’ cum— “
“Wan’mommy’s cum, please?” she sloppily murmured against you. 
“Gonna get it, baby, m’right there! —“
She was fully moaning all over your clit, “Gonna fuck you so good, angel, fuck yes!”
You peeled your eyes open and looked back down at her when she released your clit to moan aloud. Her drool and your pussy juice were all over her pink lips as she sighed and whimpered in pleasure. You couldn’t see what she was doing, but her forearm was moving frantically as quiet shhlcks filled the room. 
“Ellie.”
“Mommym’gonnacum— “
“I swear to g— “
“S’so wet, oh god, please!” 
SMACK!
Her head flew onto your thigh at your hard slap to her face, and she screamed out as her body tensed up. You watched her with a scowl as she squealed out m’cummimgsohardmommy against your skin, a puddle of drool forming on your skin. 
You yanked her hand out of her boxers, and she whined in protest as her orgasmed died, her hips bucking back into the air. You stood up, pulling her up by her waist and bending her over the desk, holding her down by her neck. 
“Stop fucking with me, Ellie.” You pulled her boxers down under her ass, taking in the sight of her still pulsating cunt and her twitchy ass. 
She spat at you over her shoulder, “Or wha— “
SMACK!
She groaned out in pain against the wood when your hand connected with her asscheek in a fiery slap, your hand burning. 
“Motherfuc— “
SMACK! 
You hit her and hit her. And hit her again. And again. Until she was jerking away from you, her hips bucking against the desk and your handprints covering her ass in a cherry-red tint. 
You don’t even remember how many times you slapped her, but she was sobbing out apologies against the desk, asking for your forgiveness over her tears.
“You done fucking around?” Your hand felt like it was in flames when you dropped it on the desk.
“Yesyes, mommy, I won’t—sob— won’t fuck up again!” 
“I was actually gonna eat your pussy out,” you scoffed out nastily, and she only cried harder at the insinuation that you weren’t anymore. “You don’t want that, you don’t want me fucking nice.” 
You pulled away and walked towards your discarded
bag on the floor, digging through it and pulling your dick out, stepping into and adjusting the straps as you watched her bruised ass jiggle with each wail. 
Your dick stood up as you walked back over to her. You gave her one last hard slap on her marked ass and pulled her up by her arm, shoving her onto her knees in front of you so she was trapped between you and the desk. 
You could see her wiping away tears, but you grabbed her chin, forcing her to look up at you. 
“You want dick so bad? Get it wet so I can fuck you.” 
Shock appeared on her face.
“Y-You’re gonna fuck me with that?” You watched her inspect the size of you. The length, the girth, all the ridges. Her breathing got heavier the longer she stared.
“Now you’re fucking scared, really, Ellie?”
“I’m not sca— “
“Talk back again, and I’m leaving. You’re getting on my fucking nerves.” 
She glared at you, but looked down, straight at your tip, then back at you. 
And then she spit on it, a fat glob of saliva dribbling down the sides of your cock. Her hand came up to wrap around the base, rubbing her spit into the silicone. She held eye contact with you as she stuck her tongue out. You reached down and placed your hand on top of hers, slapping your tip on her slobbery muscle. 
“Good fucking whore, good n’sloppy,” you let go to pat her still-red cheek with a heavy hand, and her pretty eyes hardened, her blush deepening. She dropped her mouth open, her lips curling on the tip as she sucked on it. You bit your lip as you watched her tongue swirl around you.
She moaned around the silicone, her eyes filthy. Her hand spread her spit up all over you as she took in your inches slowly, jerking you off and slobbering on you at the same time. She looked like a fucking pornstar, like she practiced for this, like she wanted to impress you, and you shook like you could actually feel her mouth. Your pussy was desperate to cum, but you pushed it aside and watched her. 
She released you with a wet pop, her tongue flicking around your tip like she was lapping at your cum, and you couldn’t stop the moan that left your mouth. 
“Nasty slut, goddamn— “
She smiled like you just called her the prettiest girl in the world before sucking you back in, her head bobbing up and down as she slurped you up. There was so much spit on your length that it started dripping onto the floor.
You bucked forward, your hips moving on autopilot, and she choked on you, her hand coming up to your thigh to squeeze it. You ignored her grasp and fucked into her mouth harder, pinning both her arms above her head on the desk. She gargled around your dick, and you could only imagine the tightness of her throat with each gag. 
“What, baby? Don’t like it? Want me t’stop?” You gritted out. And you thrusted deeper. She moaned and her mouth opened wider.
She was making wet noises around you, her head thudding against the top drawer of the desk when you fucked in. You fucked your entire cock down her throat, and she gagged hard. 
You pulled out and let her go.
She fell forward and coughed hard, her drool pooling down on the eggshell floors as she choked. You watched in irritation as she heaved.
“Get up,” her gasps slowed as she breathed in deeply, and she lifted her head to glare at you from her hunched position. 
“Get up.” 
“Fuck you,” she spluttered.
“I’m gonna. Get up.”
Despite her bitterness, she slowly stood and instantly bent over the desk with her scarred ass poked out towards you. You chuckled when you saw both her holes pulse in excitement.
“That’s how it is?” you slapped her asscheek, and her hips bucked back against your hand. 
“Uh huh,” you heard her crackly mumble dazedly. “Need you t’make me cum.”
“Seemed alright doing it yourself a few minutes ago.”
She ignored you, and you smirked, “Need your cock, mommy, pleeease, please— “
You reached out, running two fingers over her drenched slit, and she pressed back on them as she sighed in pleasure. You slowly slid your fingers down to her clit, and she moaned aloud, her thighs jerking. 
“Look at this fucking pussy, jesus.” 
“I-It’s pretty?”
“Yeah, baby, fuck,” your mouth watered when you saw her walls clench. “Can’t even be mad, you’re so fucking hot.”
“Then fuck me,” she whined out sweetly, looking at you over her shoulder. 
You leaned down until you were eye level with her pussy, her walls squelching and squeezing repeatedly. You bit your lip and kitty-licked her cunt, her slick painting your taste buds as her smell surrounded you, and she jumped at the feeling. 
“Taste like fucking honey.” 
“So do you, made me so wet,” she exhaled as she shivered in anticipation. 
“S’gonna hurt,” you whispered, more to yourself as you eyed her tightness. 
“Don’t care.” She pushed back on your face.
“Put your hands behind your back. Don’t move them.” 
She shuddered and obeyed instantly, her hands overlapping at the wrists at the small of her back. 
You pressed one last kiss to her pussy before standing upright, “You move your hands, I stop.”
“Not gonna move, mommy,” she whispered in between unsteady breaths. “Make me feel good, please. Please, please.”
“Shh. Got you, baby. Open your legs,” you caressed her back and she squirmed. You felt goosebumps rise all over her skin, and you smirked.
The gap between her thighs widened even more for you, her cunt on full display. You could hear her beckoning you to pop the tip inside her in tiny, desperate whispers, and it made your core clench. 
You inched closer to her until the back of her thighs pressed against the front of yours. You wrapped a hand around your wet dick and brought it up to her slit, soaking it in her gooey slick and sliding it between her silky lips. Her cunt was already soaking your entire length and you didn’t even fuck her yet. She was subtly pushing back on you, trying to get you inside her. 
You heard the enthusiasm in her voice when she keened, “Mommy, please, it’s right there!”
“Mhm, I know, I see it,” you mumbled wetly, her gooey cunt looked so pretty under the light of the city, shining like glitter.
“Making mommy so wet baby, such a pretty girl,” you brought your cock back up to her slit and pushed forward, slowly popping the tip in her snug opening. She squealed loudly, and you saw her fists clench at the end of her spine as her walls clung to you, pulling you in.
“Yesyesyes, oh god, mommy, fuck, uh huh!”
“Yeah, baby? It hurts?” 
“Nooo, feels s’good, oh shit! —“
You slowly pushed in another inch, gauging her reaction for any discomfort, your thumb moving on her hip softly. She tried to push back to take you deeper, but you held her hips down.
“Fuck mefuckmefuckme— “
“Gonna be my good girl, baby? Gonna take it nice’n deep?” 
“Yeah, mommy!”
You pushed in even deeper, and you could feel the resistance of her cunt the more you slid in. You couldn’t stop the moan you released when she said your name. 
“Y-You’re splitting me open, ffuck— “
You pressed in the last bit of your dick, her ass resting at the top of your thighs, your hands propping you up on the desk as you leaned above her, placed on either side of her head. She was sighing heavily in satisfaction, and you could see her glossy eyes rolling. 
“Feelin’ good?”
She nodded slowly, “U-Use me, mommy, please use me t’cum, fuck.”
“Gotta take care of my girl first,” you fucked out of her slowly before snapping your hips, fucking all your inches back into her, and she screamed. “Such a tight pussy.”
You bent down to kiss her pretty back, down her spine as you stroked her deeply. You’d barely completed your fourth stroke before you felt Ellie tense up under you, her body shuddering as she moaned quietly to herself. You snickered at her. 
“Baby’s cumming?” you licked up her spine again. 
You could only see her nod in jerky headshakes from where you stood, her cheek pressed against the desk. You looked down at where you were connected, and you could see how her walls struggled to choke your dick. You grabbed her wrists in one hand and fucked her through her orgasm, your free hand sneaking under her hips to rub her clit. 
The second her body relaxed, you saw the muscles in her back flex again, the arch in her back deepening, “Mommy, think—m’cumming again, oh god, motherfu— “
“How many are you gonna give me, angel?” you rubbed her clit faster, fucking in harder. 
“I feel it, I feel it, fuck!” She wasn’t listening to anything you were saying as she yelled in her pleasure. You could see how much she was wetting your cock, lines of her slick forming every time you pulled out of her. You angled your hips downward when you fucked back in, and she shouted your name out, her warnings of her orgasm echoing in your ears. You released her clit and pinned her down by her neck again. 
“Like it right there, baby? That’s the spot?” You could feel your core squeezing with every cry she let out, her voice completely broken, her squeals scratchy. 
She was babbling about something, but you weren’t listening, the squelchy sounds of her cunt increasing in volumes as you forced your dick in her, stirring her guts up. 
You looked down and saw her ass squeezing with every quiver of her cunt, and you licked your lips. You let her wrists go and brought a hand to your mouth, sucking your thumb in to wet it before rubbing her ass with it. 
She let out a loud slew of ah ah ahs before you felt a burst of wetness on your thighs, dripping down onto the floor. Her entire body was jerking back onto your, her rosy ass jiggling every time she hit your hips. 
But then you heard a slam above her shouts of pleasure and mommy!
You looked up to check on her unsteady form as she continued to drench your lap, her hand resting on the back of her mother’s nameplate, her fingertips digging into the wood as she screamed in her euphoria. 
It made you fuck her harder and pull her hand away from the dog tag. You didn’t even care about punishing her anymore, you needed to cum. You’d been riding that edge since you got here, and you knew you were going to cum so hard.
You leaned over her body and grinded into her, moving her hand away from the plate and sitting back up in its position. You grabbed her by her spit-coated chin so she could look dead at her mother’s name. She whimpered and tried to look away from it, but you tightened the grip on her face to keep her still. 
“Look at it, baby— “
She sobbed, murmuring how hard she was about to cum again, her eyes fluttering as she stared at it, her cheeks glowing like apples.
You bent down to her ear, “You embarrassed, angel? Huh? Wanna close your eyes? Gonna squirt on me again?”
She was looking dead at the plate, “You’re so deep, mommy, fuck yes, m’gonna!—“
“Nasty fucking slut, taking it so good,” You looked up at the clear window as your thrusts picked up pace again, the entire city shining through the glass in all its glory. Every light of every building, people roaming, honking, noises of construction. It was all beneath you, and it was all theirs. The strap was bumping on your clit with each thrust. 
“Look at your city, baby,” you lifted her weightless head by her wild, knotted hair and made her look into the distance as you groaned in pleasure. “Gonna be all yours one day, can do whatever you want with it soon.”
“Fuuuck— “
“Uh huh, you like having that power? You can get whatever the fuck you want— “
“M-Mommy!”
“Just need a baby, right? Gonna g-give her what she wants? Gonna give her that precious heir, that golden child?”
“Yesyesyes! Wan’your baby, ge’me fucking pregnant!”
You moaned at her begging as you babbled mindlessly to her, “Gonna cum in you, fuck, need it… t’catch— “
She was screaming about how your seed was going to catch in her womb, how hard she was going to squirt again, begging you to fuck her harder, hurt her, make her bleed, make her scream. You could feel your senses leaving as your orgasm built as she pushed back on you, and you moaned her name in her ear. 
“Fuuuck, Ellie,” your clit jerked, and you let her go, her head falling onto her arm in front of her as she yelled in euphoria. “Gonna make that bitch raise my fuckin’ kid while I’m gone? Huh?”
She didn’t even react to your slip of your departure, “Yeahyesyesyes! Fuck, I’m cumming!”
You felt another spray of liquid drip down your legs as you drilled her, and it triggered your own orgasm. Your clit jerked as your release rushed through you, your walls clenching as your body shook on top of hers, grinding against her to ride it out. You could almost feel the sensation of filling her up, her cunt sucking your cum deep inside her. 
She was still moaning above you, wringing the last bits of her orgasm out on your cock. You whined against her sweaty skin, the aftershocks moving through you. 
You felt her go completely lax underneath you, heavy sighs leaving her parted lips. 
You both caught your breaths in soothing silence. 
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After Ellie asked you to show her how to kiss properly, the pounding of your heart refused to slow down. 
You were seated in her mother’s chair once more, her wetness still coating you in stickiness as she straddled your lap, her arms around your neck as she gazed at you nervously.
“We just fucked, why do you look like that?”
Her brows creased, “Like what?”
“Like you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared,” she whispered, her eyes flickering down to your lips before looking back up at you. 
You only hummed at her, brushing your noses together before leaning forward, grabbing the back of her neck to pull her down to you. Her eyes shut tightly, and her lips puckered in front of yours, and you pulled back, grabbing her face to stop her.
“Stop doing that, just relax.” 
“… What’d I do?”
You mimicked her, poking your lips out stiffly before breaking out into a grin. She huffed with a tiny smile, shaking her head, “Sorry.”
You shrugged, uncaring. She looked down, “Where do I put my tongue?” 
You snorted, “Nowhere yet.”
You craned your neck up slowly and connected your mouth with hers gently, your lips molding against hers. She sighed and leaned closer into you, her arms tightening around the back of your neck. You felt a sharp sting in your chest at her delicate touch, and you pulled away. A soft smack filled the room when you separated. She smiled softly, “That was cute.” 
You nodded stiffly, murmuring a mhm, before looking down. Out the window. Behind her. Anywhere but her eyes. 
You felt her nuzzle against your cheek, kissing it gently, “Are we… uh, fucking again?” 
“You want to?” The pounding in your ears was giving you a headache. 
You felt her nod. Another kiss to your cheek. Another pull in your heart. 
Your hands planted on her hips, lifting them so she could sit on you, but she grabbed your wrists to stop you. 
Her hands latched onto the hem of your shirt, attempting to pull it up and over your head, but your hand caught her wrist. Not harshly, but stern.
Her eyes softened at your masked expression, releasing the gentle grip on your shirt, “I’m, uh… I’m sorr— “
“It’s fine. Ready?” you grabbed the base of your dick in your hand, and she mumbled a quiet yes. 
You felt her hand come on top of yours as she helped you guide it to her entrance, and your breath shook as you exhaled.
Her hips came down on you at her own pace, your free hand resting on her hip. She gasped when it slipped inside, her hands coming to support herself on each armrest. 
“Feels different like this,” she whispered huskily.
You smirked, “I know, take your time.” 
She nodded, slowly sinking down on you. You saw her eyelids get heavy as her walls caught on every ridge of you, her head falling back in her pleasure. Her soft locks disheveled all over her head, her bun nonexistent as her bobby pins stuck out from every direction. 
She slid in too deep, though. She let out a pained gasp as she caught herself on the chair, her brows furrowing. 
“Okay?” you checked in.
She nodded, her lip in between her teeth, “So deep like this, fuck… don’t know if I can go all the way down.”
“It’s fine, babe, make yourself feel good.” 
“H-Help me?” her breathing was picking up as her hips bucked. 
Your other hand flew to her hips, digging into her soft skin as you guided her hips on you. You eased her into a deep grind, and her hands flew behind you, landing on the headrest behind you. 
Her head rested in the crook of your neck as she followed your movements, her wet moans hitting the side of your neck. The sensation of her breath on your skin made your pussy clench. 
“Am I—gasp—doing good, m-mommy?” 
“Fucking me so good, baby, shit,” you whispered in her ear, and she moaned aloud in yours. She sped up on you, the harness digging into your clit with each swivel of her hips. 
Your hands moved down to grab her ass, spreading her cheeks before slapping them, grabbing the plush of them in your hands. She fucked you harder, and you felt her spit drip on your neck as she wailed into your skin. You threw your head back on the headrest when she sucked on your neck, right on your open scar.
She lifted her head up and looked at you with gentle eyes, her hands moving down from the headrest to grab your cheeks in a soft touch. She was panting on your mouth, her lips brushing against yours with every jump on you. She was so close and she smelled so good, her lips soft. 
She whispered dreamily, “Can’t stop cumming— “
Your eyelids fluttered, “Then don’t. Give it to me, m’so close— “
She grinded harder as she leaned down to connect your lips in a honey-sweet kiss. You reciprocated against your brain's desires. 
Push her away. She’ll never be yours! This is all she wants from you!
Tears built in your eyes as your peak approached, her moans increasing in urgency against your mouth. You sucked on her bottom lip, biting it hard. This is the most eager you’ve felt since you touched her. 
“Cum with me, pleasepleaseplease— “
“I’m gonna, baby, fuck me hard!”
She was going crazy on your dick, full-on bouncing on you, taking it all despite her protests earlier, and you felt yourself tipping. Your pussy squeezed and soaked the harness as your orgasm pulled in your gut. You looked down at your cock, and it was drenched in her white, sticky substance. She was creaming all over your cock as she used you. It made your eyes cross in your skull as your euphoria hit you. 
You were so loud as your nails tore into her skin, your moans matching hers in volume. You felt another splash of fluid on you, and you came harder, another wave crashing through you. You would’ve curled in on yourself if she wasn’t on top of you. 
You felt her tongue slide into your hungry mouth, swirling around yours as you shouted through your high. She was making you feel so good, and you couldn’t fucking think. 
You felt like you were cumming for minutes before the harsh pulses slowed into soft twitches, her hips slowing, and she bent down to kiss you. The touch was soft, sweet, undeserved. You stiffened, on guard immediately. 
She was close, she was too close. Her soft caresses on your face snapped you out of your intoxication, pulling away from her mouth and grabbing her hips to pull her off your dick. 
“T-Turn around, Ellie.”
“Huh?” she asked softly, her eyes teary and delicate. 
“T-Turn around,” your voice trembled.
“O-Okay.”
She was too fucking close. 
She lifted off you, planting her feet on the ground and you spun her. You pulled her down on your lap, her ass in front of your cock. You grabbed your tip, pushing it past her entrance, and she mewled. She took it with ease, mewling out as her back arched into you, swallowing you whole as she sunk down again. 
She planted her hands on your knees and immediately bounced on you, her toned ass meeting the base of your harness with every jump on your cock. 
You could see her pussy suck on your inches, suffocating your girth, her walls clinging to you. 
You grabbed her neck and pushed her forward slightly, and she cried out in painful pleasure. You planted your feet on the floor and fucked up into her. 
“Fuck! Your dick feels so fucking good! Oh my—agh!”
You saw even move cream spread over your dick with every fuck inside her squishy walls. You were moaning with her, fucking her harder, faster, the hand on her neck moving up to pull her hair hard. The sound of wet skin slapping accompanied the sounds you both made in your pleasured state. 
You were going to cum so fucking quick, “Fuck, Ellie, shit— “
“I’m gonna cum so hard, mommy!” your hand in her hair flew down to her hip, grinding her down harder on you. You moaned at the feeling.
“Yeah? Already?” You were right behind her, those euphoric waves pulling in your gut.
“Fuck—fuckyes!”
“Want it so bad, get it all over this fucking dick, baby— “
Her hand that'd been playing with her tits flew down on top of yours on her waist, her fingers lacing with yours tightly as she shouted, screaming your name. She met your harsh thrusts as she bounced, and she squirted on you again, and you watched it gush out of her, wetting your stomach and harness and the chair beneath her, the sound of splattering liquid on the floor making you cum the hardest you ever had. Your vision whitened as your orgasm crushed you. 
She kept cumming on you, and you kept cumming for her. The pleasure didn’t stop, and all you could do was scream her name out like she did yours, hold her hand tighter as your brain melted. She rocked back and forth on you, prolonging your orgasm, making you cum harder. It just kept building in intensity, the aggressive pulses wracking through you, your toes curling as she milked you, and all you could do was take it.
You blacked out in her mom’s chair, the last thing you remember seeing was her pulsing, squirting pussy, pulsing ass, and the auburn stars that painted her entire back. 
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Some time passed, your lashes fluttering open as you felt soft touches on your face. 
You were met with delicate, green eyes, Ellie looking at you with a softness you hadn’t seen in years. It felt foreign, deep, and it made your heart pick up in panic. 
You pulled away from her touches and looked around unsteadily. 
She was too close. Too fucking close.
The office was a mess: clothes everywhere, the floor was soaked, the whole room smelled like sex and pussy, desk askew, its contents thrown everywhere, Ellie’s tears and puddles of spit all over the surface. You could even see splatters of… her on her mother’s restraining order against you. 
You were suddenly terrified, moving into action and guiding her off your lap so you could stand. You undid the straps of your dick and stepped out of it, cringing at the drying stickiness, and throwing it into your backpack.
You heard her speak from behind you, “Hey, hey, you okay? What’s wr— ‘
“Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine, I gotta go,” you said tensely. Unwelcoming. Guarded.
“Did… did I do something?” She sounded too soft, too gentle. 
“No, Ellie, I just, I gotta go,” You dressed erratically, pulling your underwear up and jeans on, wincing at your cum sticking to your garments. 
You could hear the crack in her voice, “Can I… do you need help or— “
“Ellie, I’m fucking fine. I’m fine, okay? Forget it.” You spat over your shoulder as you repacked. Don’t look at her, don’t fucking look at her. 
She sounded just as anxious as you did, “W-Why are you so upset with me all of a sudden? What’d I do— “
“You didn't do shit! Can you fucking drop it please!”
Her breath shuddered, “I thought… I thought we were… okay?” 
You whipped around to face her, an incredulous look on your face. Your heart shattered when she flinched, but you yelled at her anyway. Why the hell did you look at her?
“Why the fuck would we be okay?! Did you forget how we fucking met in the first place!” You pointed behind her to the soiled court order, “We’re never going to be fucking okay! Get that through your fucking head.” 
You reached down to grab your heavy bag, throwing it over your shoulder in a hurry. You felt like you were going to suffocate. You needed to go. Right now. You turned towards the door. You hadn’t even shut it all the way when you came in. 
“I’m never going to see you again, am I?” 
Your own tears fell at the dejected acceptance in her voice. She sounded so broken, and it was all your fault. 
But you knew this was for the best. The two of you could never exist together in bliss, even though meeting her was the most human you’ve felt since you were a child. Since your father was alive. 
But you were too different, too damaged. All you would do is hurt each other, you would resent each other, grow to hate, to regret. The world was too cruel, and she was not prepared for its harshness. You were barely prepared, and you lived it every day. And you promised yourself to never go through the despair of loss again. You walked towards the door and heard her release a quiet sob. 
“No,” you pulled the knob, the spacious hallway being another reminder that you didn’t belong. Not here, not anywhere. Her mother was right. 
You were worthless. Held no value in this society. 
In another life, you could’ve been something great. Your cards could’ve been different, better. You could’ve made your father proud. The two of you could’ve been happy.
“You won’t.” 
You left the same way you came, moving in urgency before her sobs lured you back to take her in your arms, against your will. 
Maybe in another life. 
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hi lol OOOOOOWEEEEE 
this was heavy sorry gworlies i love sad shit 
don’t hate me too much? 
omg tell me what y’all thought or whatever *looks away shyly 
thank u 4 reading if u did :3
hi taglist love yall @cherriessxinthespring @ellieswifee @elliespookie @belovednanami @sevikasimp @saturnsellie
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randombush3 · 5 months
Text
audentes fortuna iuvat
alexia putellas x reader
part one, part two
words: 9541
summary: alexia and you as posh + becks III
content warnings: there’s some (a lot of) cheating + postpartum depression. it’s more frustrating than sad though x
notes: this covers 2019-22(ish). It was SUPPOSED to be the last part. It’s not anymore. I’m gonna do a fourth to deal w the mess I have created in a more self-indulgent amount of words than the 3k i had planned. That will probably have smut in it 😛
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“Y/n left me.” 
The limousine you are in is completely black, save for the white lines being measured out right next to you. 
“What?” says Jenni. 
“She left me,” Alexia says once more. The hotel room is a non-committal beige. They lie in the same bed, the older of the two welcoming her lost teammate wordlessly and without judgement. Tomorrow, they will return to Barcelona, losers yet another time. “She moved back to london. She took Nico.” 
“She can’t just take Nico, can she?” 
“Y/n, how’s Nico?” Your stomach turns, but whether that is provoked by the thought of the baby boy you left crying in your father’s arms or by the white powder outlining the rim of the woman’s nostrils, you don’t know. 
Your son’s creasing eyes, red face, and grabbing hands appear in front of you. He screams as you walk away. He doesn’t understand why he has not smelt Alexia in weeks, and he misses the comfort of home. 
Everyone waits for your answer. No one comments on the bags under your eyes. “He's fine,” you say with a smile. “He loves it here.”
“I think she is depressed,” Alexia tells Jenni, comforted by the arms wrapped around her waist, holding her close and tightly and reminding her that she is not as alone as you have made her feel. “She told me that she couldn’t be in Barcelona anymore, but she said that without giving me a chance to come with her. Her bags were packed before the conversation started — she might as well have called me from the plane.” 
“Are you angry at her?” 
“Yes.” 
Alexia thinks about it. 
“No.”
“No,” you say when they point at your very own line. The drug holds a place of both familiarity and hatred in your heart. The fine, white powder reminds you of greatness – of being the most successful girl group in the UK – but, also, of hospital visits. It’s not a past addiction, but it could have been. You light a cigarette instead, though it will make the vehicle reek. “I can't. I have a son.” 
“You’re not a saint.” They boo. “You’re allowed to have fun. I saw you the other day, and you had no qualms with any drugs then.” 
“No, I'm not a saint,” you reply. You regret that night — however little you remember. “But I am a mother.” 
“Is it that thing? Postpartum?” Jenni asks. “The baby blues are really shitty, I've heard, but they’re not supposed to cripple you. Maybe the relationship has other issues.” 
“I'm not angry at her, Jenni,” Alexia repeats. “I miss Nico. He looks like her. He has started to look a lot more like her now.”
“He would definitely suit those sparkly bralettes.” Jenni giggles at the thought. 
With an understandable lack of good humour, Alexia ponders something more realistic. “He would suit a Barcelona kit.” 
“He would be made for it. You are his mother.” 
“I'm not angry at her,” Alexia says for the third time, just to make herself believe it. Just to carve those words into her bones and tell herself that it isn’t anger, what she’s feeling. “I don't want to be angry at her. I think I'm going to see if I can move to arsenal.” 
“Don’t you dare.” 
“Well, I'm not angry at her.” 
“Alexia.” Jenni cups her cheek tenderly. “Ale.” She knows she shouldn’t. She’s not angry at you, and so there is no punishment needed. Not that… Not that kissing Jenni would ever be utilised as a weapon to get back at you. Or that she’d actually kiss her. 
“Daddy, I can't get him tonight. No, I don't want to stay over. Daddy, I…” You hate the baby. You hate yourself. You hate that Spain hasn’t done well, and that your fiancée is disappointed that nothing is how it was supposed to be. Alexia is probably lying awake in bed, missing her son, and missing you. You expect one of her teammates to call you soon, and tell her that she needs you. You’re her person. “I'm going to get some sleep and I'll pick him up tomorrow. Probably around lunchtime, okay?” 
“Alexia, bésame.” 
You had passively bought your house. It’s how property sale works when you’re a celebrity. People are always willing to do things for you if you know the price, and it never hurts to use your name to add a new flashy level to whatever stupid business they are running. It’s a mutual exploitation, to some extent. 
Highgate is beautiful. The house is beautiful. 
The reception room, with its high, decorated ceilings, is your favourite place to numbly take in the twisted jigsaw of your life when Nico has cried himself to sleep. The nursery is on the first floor. He is near enough for safety, but at a distance that allows you to regret all the mistakes you have made.
You watch him roll over onto his stomach, eyes trained on the baby monitor though your fingers graze the ivory keys of your new piano, attempting to compose something worthwhile. At this rate, your solo career is going to fail just like your relationship seems to be doing. 
Yesterday, while Alexia seemingly disappeared from the face of the Earth, you came out. It was an off-hand comment during the Graham Norton Show. A quick ‘my fiancée named him. She’s from Barcelona’ was all it took. You hope Alexia, wherever she may be, has heard about it. Jenni would have told her. You trust Jenni to be somewhat on your side because she always has been. 
The doorbell rings just as you sniffle, wiping away the tear that slips down your cheek. “Don’t be pathetic,” you mutter to yourself. “You didn’t pay five million pounds to sit here and cry. You chose to come back home.” 
Being in England – colder, drearier, lonelier England – has made you realise that your decision was not the right one. Or maybe it was. It has proven that you are as terrible a mother as you convinced yourself you were back in Barcelona, and it has also shoved the cavity Alexia leaves in your life when you refuse her entry right down your throat in the form of a constant lump and a dull stabbing in your chest whenever you think about anything past whether Nico has had anything to eat. You can’t even feed him properly, despite it being supposedly in your nature. You buy formula from the nearest Waitrose. 
The doorbell rings again. 
The insistence is not uncommon seeing as you are, at the minute, the English press’s number one target. You open the CCTV app on your phone so that you can decide whether or not to ignore the potential stalker, and your heart rate spikes when you see the hooded figure standing on the porch. Back to the door, it is not possible to determine the threat. A well-buried maternal instinct kicks in for once, and you ensure that Nico is still peacefully out cold before getting up to answer the door with the poker from the Victorian fireplace firmly in your grip. Just in case. 
You are a mother, in whatever capacity you have decided that role looks like, and so you undo the three latches on the door with brave, protective fingers. The baby monitor’s volume has increased, and the fuzz of white noise is audible if Nico were to make a sound. The vague repulsion at the idea of it all is only an aftertaste in your silent prayer for the hooded figure to not want to kill you. Some sick part of your brain imagines Nico dead, as well. It tortures you. 
The poker in your other hand, for the most fleeting of moments, is almost plunged into your chest. The imaginary, self-inflicted wound makes you think of the blood and how the baby upstairs would wail until someone found him. The grimace of annoyance on your lips is nothing new, but you have no more time to torment yourself because the doorbell is pressed again, rather impatiently. 
You open the door and the hooded figure is right in front of you. “He’s asleep,” you say, the Spanish foreign on your tongue. 
Alexia shrugs, and her hood falls down, revealing the brunette tendrils that hang from her slowly sinking bun. “I came for you,” she replies, so earnestly that it is as if nothing ever happened: past pain forgotten and replaced by sprouting memories of soft kisses and mornings where leaving was too hard to do. Some of them, you think, are not real. They don’t seem to be. Your blank stare is unsettling. You almost don’t believe her. “Can we talk?” she tries, and you notice the team-issued duffle on the tiled floor she is standing on. Then, from the pocket of her hoodie, she extracts a pastry box. The plastic window is filled with circles of different colours, and she holds out the macaroons to you as if to bribe her way into a home in which she is unsure she belongs to.
Stepping aside, leaning the poker against the wall by the door, you scratch at the bare skin of your neck. Alexia, while sweeping an arm down to collect her bag, fixes her gaze onto the ring you are wearing, and the diamond glistens with hope that this can all be fixed. “Would you like to come inside?” 
She swallows the whine of anguish that tears her heart open at the idea that this might never be her house to live in, too, and she follows you dutifully as you lead her through hallways far more luxurious than the flat in Barcelona could ever be. This is what you left her for – the person you are, no longer in worn clothing with messy hair, is quite the opposite of the woman with her back to her moments before she had to focus on football. The necklace draped on your sharpened collarbones is new, and she does not dare believe what she has been hearing is true. Yes, there are pictures, but she trusts you. She will always trust you. 
“Have a seat,” you say, gesturing to the wooden dining table. It is clean enough for her to determine that it is unused. Alexia places the macaroons in front of her, and aches at how you sit at the opposite end. 
“I…”
“I thought you were going to give me all the time that I needed.” It is a statement of distance, as if your location is not enough. 
Alexia, eyes widening at how unwelcome she suddenly feels, needs only to remind herself of the impending date of the wedding. It is beginning to loom uncomfortably, with the excitement of getting married drained out like a low tide on a deserted beach. “We have two weeks. If it isn’t going to happen, then you should tell me now. We have to give everyone notice so that they can cancel their flights.” Your silence spurs her on. “You will need to contact the wedding planner, because you refused to let me have a hand in any of it so I don’t even have their number. I’m sorry that you won’t be able to wear your dress. Vivienne Westwood is a big thing for you, I know. I’m sorry that it’s inconvenient.” 
“But Alexia,” you whisper, “I don’t not want to get married.” 
Her eyebrows furrow, head tilted slightly to the left. “I know. That is why I am saying this.” 
Your voice grows louder. “No, no. Sorry, that wasn’t the easiest thing to understand.” Across the dining table, your love that has faltered, that has hesitated and been reconsidered and been stamped down over the past month, extends towards her: its final destination, always and forever. Alexia feels it grab her by the throat, wrenching the words from her before she can even formulate a thought in response, and her body is so drawn to you, in such a powerful fashion, that she pushes her chair out from the table with a grating scrape and is stepping towards you with a finality that makes her wonder if she’ll ever leave your side. 
As she approaches, the idea that she is here becomes a little too real. You have played with the fantasy of it, of course, but the tenderness in her usually fierce eyes does not match the anger you had expected, and, in the most feeble fashion, you have never felt more apologetic in your life. 
“I’m so sorry,” you begin to say. Tears stream down your face with freed anguish, and the words are so simple yet they bear the weight of your entire soul. “I’m so sorry, darling. I made a mistake, and I have been met with the most crushing of realisations: I can’t do this without you, Alexia.” I still want to marry you, Alexia. 
The room seems to close in on your despair, attempting to bottle it, almost, and keep you trapped underneath a haze of emotions you don’t quite know how to sort through. “I… I’m beginning to hate him.” The confession hangs heavy over Alexia’s bowed head as she stands frozen in place, stuck in her journey towards you but unable to arrive. “I’m acutely aware of how cruel it is,” you continue, this next admission being what agonises you the most. It floods the room with guilt, and your voice trembles with self-condemnation that reigns harsher than any other voice in your head. 
“It’s ridiculous. I’m evil and I’m wrong, and I just feel like it is inherently in my nature to be like this, as though some fault has been built into me with warning signs we evidently ignored.” You struggle to breathe. “I wish I could take back the day we decided to have him,” you confess, your voice barely above a whisper, lips doused in tears, skin searing with shame when Alexia cups your cheek with a strong, calloused hand. “He should not have to be stuck with me as a mother.” 
Your chest heaves, and you are finished. You have never verbalised it before now, and it is impossible to decide whether it has helped remove the lead lining of your heart where it has been bolstered against your will. Her other hand steadily rises to your face, but then, with only a second of hesitation, she is pulling you upwards and enveloping you in her embrace. You feel a little bit closer to her. “Mi amor,” Alexia murmurs, tone cracked with sorrow and regret. “Lo siento mucho. Desearía haber sabido, desearía haber estado allí para ti.” 
Gently, she tilts your face upwards to meet her gaze. “You are not evil and no estás equivocada. Estoy aquí ahora, y no te dejaré enfrentar esto sola nunca más.” You collapse into her. “I’m here, cariño, and I am not going anywhere.”
The sentiment is wonderful, and Alexia makes good on her word. 
When Nico begins to cry, the sound piercing through your choked sobs, Alexia realises she has missed all of her life with you. Being separated and being apart due to work, she now knows, are two excruciatingly different things. The whiny wails from upstairs visibly jar you, though you pull away from Alexia to attend to him. “I will do it,” she declares, though her firmness is not mean. “Sit down. Eat the macaroons – they’re… ‘to die for’?” You nod with instinctive encouragement. “Sí. They’re to die for. Try. Jenni says that the pink ones are the best.” 
“Jenni picked them out?” you ask with a briefly regained humour, eyebrows raising. “Had to get your friend to choose your apology gift?” In truth, neither of you know what Alexia would be apologising for, but Nico’s crying grows more incessant and Alexia is climbing the carpeted staircase before the topic can be discussed. 
Alexia reaches her son with tears brimming in her eyes. The failure of Spain at the World Cup is amplified by the idea that she has disappointed him, though he does not yet possess the tools to pledge his allegiance to her country. In fact, Nico has been sleeping in Manchester United attire (your father has been his primary carer of late, and he does not charge you money, so the price is obviously Alexia’s sanity). She is more than glad to smell his nappy, and delighted about the opportunity to change him into something less hideous. 
“Mama loves you so much,” she tells him as she manoeuvres his chubby legs into a plain, inoffensive onesie. “I promise, petit. I am going to help her, okay? And we are going to get through this together.” Alexia forgets about the taste of Jenni’s lips and the heat between them. “Mama just doesn’t see the direction she is going in. It is like her eyes are covered, and she is telling herself that she is walking down the wrong path, but this is not true. You are the most special thing in the world to us. You are the sunrise, the sunset, and the hours of the day.” 
She pauses to stand him up on his tiny feet, hands hoisted underneath his armpits. He is heavier than when she last held him, but she is stronger than before, too. Women’s football is growing, along with her muscles. Nico babbles out a vague reply, but Alexia hears what he is trying to say. “I agree. We’ll be alright.” And, with all her heart, it rings true. 
The following day, she calls the doctor for you, script written out on a piece of paper in front of her, translated perfectly so that her concern does not waver the information she needs to tell the receptionist. The clinic is famous and discreet, and they are quick to prescribe you antidepressants before the week draws to a close. You won’t be able to drink at your wedding, and everyone might think you are pregnant again, but Alexia reassures you that it will be worth it. 
Wrapped up in your own bubble, the three of you enjoy London in a way that isn’t possible in Barcelona. 
Here, Alexia has no commitment to football. There are no training sessions she must rush off to, there are no teammates to pry, and no one else to interfere with your private little routine. You quite like it, and she does too. It is only temporary, before you fly out to Menorca and hand Nico off to Eli in order to enjoy your respective bachelorette parties and then, in exactly seven days, your wedding itself. 
“You’re still smoking,” Alexia says disapprovingly, the sleep in her voice enough to make you feel a pang of guilt. It’s late at night when Nico has finally been soothed from his aching gums, and she has been able to climb back into bed expecting to find you asleep already. “Why are you awake?” 
“I’m still smoking,” you tell her. She sighs at the way you parrot her words, but presses an affectionate kiss to the junction of your neck and shoulders despite the lingering smell of cigarettes. “If I can’t drink, I’m going to smoke. This is Hollywood.” 
“This is Highgate.” Her accent curls around the name with something a little too foreign for her to ever consider this place home. “Why are you awake?” she repeats. 
You look down at the open notebook in your lap, the pages either blank or full of crossed-out lyrics. “He was so loud, but I can’t seem to write anything either so, really, it has been quite redundant.”
“I had to get a glass full of ice and hold it to my fingers so that I could help him. I could have lost some very important assets, but it seemed to do the trick.” He’s teething. You’re telling yourself that the antidepressants are little pills of miracle, and have kicked in already. “Feel.” She presses two freezing fingers to your cheek, and you gasp, flinching away from her. 
“There’s a teething ring downstairs, you know,” you tell her. She shrugs. Maybe it isn’t clean. “Don’t give yourself frostbite. I happen to quite like your fingers.” 
Alexia’s smirk is beyond suggestive, and her lips hit your neck once more with an entirely different heat to them. “Yeah?” You push her head away. “I bet it would feel good. Nice and cold.” 
“You’re delirious.” 
She continues to kiss you. “I don’t know what that means,” she mumbles into your neck, until her lips reach your face and she is near climbing into your lap – notebook long pushed onto the floor. “Dímelo en español.” 
“No lo sé.” 
“Ah. Una palabra inteligente.” 
“Claro.” 
She laughs into the kiss she presses against your lips. She never has never felt like this with anyone else. Never this relaxed, or loved, or safe. “Me vas a matar con tu inteligencia y voy a sentirme estúpida para siempre.” 
“I love you,” you state softly. “I love every part of you.” Alexia, in that moment, decides to never do what she did with Jenni again, and to never break your heart by informing you of her betrayal. 
You’re married. 
You’re married to Alexia, a woman who bears the beauty of a goddess and the strength and will of someone who could capture the sun and tame the fire that rages on its surface. 
You admire her as she sleeps so peacefully beside you, tanned skin warmed by the sunlight streaming in through the large windows of the hotel room. Later, you will get on the ferry, go back to Barcelona, and then fly to Capri for three days alone before Alexia’s preseason starts. Aside from a few meetings with Dave, you theoretically aren’t swamped with anything. You’ll be joining her in her city with Nico with a bit more permanence than last time. 
Alexia buries her face in the covers, crawling into your open arms the minute the sunlight rouses her. “Everything is sore,” she groans, her bare skin slightly sticking to yours, the sweat from last night not yet gone. 
“What happened to ‘mi vida, one more time won’t hurt’?” you tease, impersonating her heavy accent over your English with enough drama to get her to elicit another grumble. This time, it’s something about being bullied. “Darling, we have to get up. We’re having breakfast with our parents, and apparently Nico has been upset that we got a night to ourselves.” 
“Pobrecito,” she replies with a newfound level of English sarcasm. She spent the wedding reception avoiding the dance floor, engaged in a long conversation with your father. The topics spanned over most areas of life, and briefly touched upon how you are doing now. Alexia, with much pleasure, confirmed the improvement, however miniscule it has been. She is very proud of you, and he is too. “I only want one thing for breakfast.” 
Her hands begin to roam, the band of her wedding ring hitting your pubic bone. “Mi vida, one more time won’t hurt,” she mocks you from before but in her sexier, Spanish husk, sucking at your collarbone, straddling your waist.
You replace your near moan with a thoughtful hum. “I really want pancakes. Do you think they’ll make me some?”
Downstairs, where it is brighter and impossible to conceal the hickeys on both of your necks, you greet your parents, brother, Anya, and Gio. Alexia’s mother, her sister, and Jenni are sitting at the table, too. Your baby is pretending he isn’t teething, and grinning like an angel. 
“How’s married life?” Anya asks as you take a seat opposite her, Alexia to your right. The table has a gradient of bilingualism, but Gio discovered that she picks up Spanish quite easily considering she can already speak one romance language. “We’ve already found, like, four articles talking about it.” 
“How?” you ask, but you are not offended. 
Gio shrugs. “Drones, I guess. Nothing bad, though. Some speculation about the other bride – if the article does mention that. Most talk is on the dress.” It was a bloody good dress. “And I suspect that there’ll be a juicy little question about who was your Maid of Honour.” 
“Don’t be salty,” you tell her. The MOH issue was sorted out years ago – perhaps 2015 – when you binged Friends together despite having watched it thousands of times before. Anya has been yours, Gio will be hers, and you will be Gio’s. And they say trios never work. 
“I left Mia with her dad for this.” 
“You shouldn’t have had a baby with a man-slag,” Anya says with a snort, enjoying her second mimosa and Gio’s grimace at the idea of her daughter having to put up with her father’s revolving door of one-night-stands. “You’re one to make terrible decisions. At least our girl over here’s married someone who looks at her like she’s hung the moon.” 
Alexia turns to you with a smile, as if on cue, with Nico in her lap. You glance at his rounded cheeks and shining eyes, looking back up at your friends as though to check they are still there. Alexia leans forwards so that she can whisper in your ear. “Te amo. Nico, también. Mi familia es perfecta.” 
Returning to Barcelona comes with one negotiated condition on your part. You buy a bigger apartment, where there is space for an office and extra bedrooms. Alexia says her teammates will be taking the piss out of her grand new place the minute she sees it, but she is more than content to contribute to the finances with her new-and-improved salary for this season. “It’s weird to think that I’m from Mollet,” murmurs Alexia, standing in the middle of the large lounge area, surrounded by boxes. Most are from your old flat, but a few have been flown in from London. Alexia wanted you to have your Grammy with you. “This place is so fancy.” 
“It’s half of what the men’s team get,” you remind her, holding Nico with care as he gnaws away on a frozen carrot. His saliva drips onto you, but the antidepressants are working, and the therapy has been effective enough for you to start taking childcare in turns. (You had tried to previously, but Alexia wanted you to focus on yourself, knowing that things will change for all of you once the season started.) “Hey.” You place your hand on her shoulder. She tickles Nico’s chin. “We deserve this. You deserve this. Why don’t you host one of your team’s dinners? I’ll take Nico round to your mum’s – God knows she’d love to shove some food down my throat, too.” 
She shakes her head, strands of brown unstraightened due to the stress of the move and falling out of her bun with a determination to defy her hair bobble. “They would kill me if I did it without you. They’re all far too grateful that you invited Taylor Swift to our wedding.” 
“She’s a friend.” If you hadn’t been distracted by various other happenings that night, you’d have clocked that Alexia’s side of the guests were completely up to their ears in celebrities they’d never expected to meet. “Okay, so do you want me to stay here?” 
“I always want you to stay here,” she answers. 
“Not what I meant.” 
“I won’t take it back.” 
Nico babbles an incoherent yet cutely Spanish-y noise, though his words are getting closer to being said at the old age of eight months. Then, suddenly, something in him clicks. “Mama,” he squeals, his little fist scrunching up the fabric of your t-shirt. “Mamama.”
“Nicolau!” Alexia replies with just as much enthusiasm, cupping his cheeks. She kisses his nose, and then his forehead, and then his chubby knees and socked feet. “Nicolau, sí, la mama et té a las mans! Bon noi, el meu bon i intel·ligent noi.” 
“Does that count?” 
“Mama,” Nico repeats, tugging your earlobe. “Mama. Mama.” It is easy to forget about the (lessening) resentment you harbour when he speaks. Alexia gets him to say it as many times as she can before he goes back to his carrot, but, even then, the two of you stay in that spot, marvelling at your creation. 
Slowly, she turns around in a circle, absorbing the plain walls and towers of boxes. “This is going to be good. Life is going to be good,” you declare with such a firmness that it has to be true. “Darling, let’s get to unpacking and then we can think about a date for this dinner party.” 
“We are going to plan the party?” She raises her eyebrows at you. “Is this party going to start at five o’clock?” 
“Not all of us shit yellow and red.” (In a national sense – you’d have haemorrhoids for United any day of the week.)
Alexia takes Nico off you, in a show of cultural dominance. You’re actually outnumbered, considering he isn’t a British Citizen, and though he shares no DNA with your wife, he has inherited the same ability to narrow his eyes just enough to serve absolute cunt whenever he so pleases. If you weren’t feeling so ganged up on, you’d be a little impressed. “Nico y yo vamos a hacer croquetas de jamón. Adiós.” 
“Darling, the kitchen isn’t–” But you cut yourself off, deciding that she can discover that on her own, along with the criminally empty fridge. You don’t hide your smugness at all when she finds you in your almost-finished bedroom, wearing a look of utter disappointment and mumbling out a heartbroken request for a food delivery as soon as possible. 
November marks three years of being together and, also, four weeks of having Alexia’s ‘DNA’ – a pomeranian called Nala, whose Instagram account is run by her favourite parent after you called it silly and told your wife you’d much rather attend to your own seventeen million followers. 
Towards the end of the month, after a well-spent morning and then a family outing to Barcelona Zoo, Alexia meets Jenni Hermoso in a restaurant in what Jenni calls ‘your new rich-people neighbourhood’ in her text to Alexia.
Alexia, really and truly, is happy to have her best friend back in Barcelona. She missed her last year, when Jenni had returned to Atleti, and that separation maybe made what happened the night Spain was knocked out of the World Cup just that bit more understandable. “You’re a Culer, no matter how hard you try to fight it,” Alexia had said when she had climbed back into her own bed, not wanting to fall asleep in Jenni’s arms. “It was terrible to not have Y/n or you.” 
You and Jenni: Alexia’s people. 
“How’s your wife?” Jenni asks with a grin, two glasses of wine into a pleasant evening at an expensive restaurant. “You’ve left her with Nico, so something must be working.” 
In truth, you have been determined to get better. There were articles released not long after the photos of your wedding were circulated, and those speculated a lot about how you are finding motherhood. The baby pictured, captured by long-range lenses and invasive drones, was the world’s first glimpse at what Nico Putellas L/n looks like, and reminded many of them that you had a child to care for when in London, yet were frequently spotted at nightclubs and parties. You rise to most challenges, however, and find it a lot easier to adapt to weekly therapy sessions and pills every morning when you have a wrongful image to disprove. 
“It’s as if it never happened,” Alexia says, both with pride and surprise. “She now seeks to spend time with him. She takes him with her to the recording studio – the album’s coming along well.” It’s your first on your own. Nico plays with one mixing desk, while Dave (flown in from London with the promise that the Barcelona sun will do wonders for his wife’s misery) plays with another. “And… Jenni, we’ve been talking. The clinic that we used for Nico asked us if we wanted to reserve sperm when we first had him, and now they have called asking if now is a good time. I think… I think that she is really considering it. She told me yesterday that her therapist wants me to sit in on the next session, so we can go over how we can make this time different.” 
Jenni frowns, which is not what the woman opposite her had expected at all. “Why are you two having more children? You’re only twenty-five, Ale. Isn’t this going to affect your career?” 
“The men do it all the time.” She’s done a spot of research. They are younger than her when their girlfriends start getting pregnant, and they continue to play with the added admiration that they are fathers as well. 
“Yes, but they have the benefit of getting paid millions. They don’t have to fight with their federation for pitches or pay, and they can focus on football without their career sparking controversy for even existing.” 
“Then my children will grow up with a mother who fights for change.” 
“Or they grow up with a pop star who only wants things she cannot have and a footballer who can’t spend any time with them because she is too busy speaking at various conventions so that the next league match isn’t cancelled.”
“Jenni, do you think your opinion would be different if Y/n was a man?” 
This elicits laughter from the other woman, who rolls her eyes in a way that can only be described as condescending. “Alexia, you’re forgetting that I’m a lesbian too, which is a magnificent feat.” Jenni references the kiss they shared, and what happened after that. “But, no. I don’t. I want you to be the greatest footballer in the world, and you want that too. What are you going to do when Y/n tells you she wants to move back to England? Are you going to give up your future here for her?” 
The waiter interrupts briefly, collecting their empty plates and carting them off with a mission to retrieve the bill after a sharply declined offer for the dessert menu. “You don’t even know if that will happen,” Alexia scoffs, though she is a little sad that her exciting news hasn’t been well-received. “I was going to say that I’d think about the name Jennifer if it ends up being a girl, but now I’m leaning more towards María…”
She is kicked under the table, and she has to hold in her cry of pain because this restaurant is one of your favourite places to eat. “Mapi cannot have this victory over me. She’d be insufferable. Ale, you simply aren’t allowed to do that.” There’s another kick, but it is more playful this time. 
Alexia laughs, smiling and thankful that the tension has diffused. “I’m only joking. Y/n has a list scribbled in the back of her lyric book. She’ll probably be called Elena.” That is much more acceptable to Jenni’s ears, and she files that information away for next year, when she’ll tell Mapi that Alexia doesn’t like her name.
It works. Alexia and you are lucky. The doctor tells Alexia that, if she were a man, the two of you would have to be extremely careful. Your wife marvels at your ability to destroy your body and stay fertile, but she supposes that you are not the kind of woman to be a lesbian. Sometimes, she wakes up in a cold sweat, believing that you have changed your mind and left her. 
The New Year is a fresh start. Alexia decides to fix the (not so) hidden cracks in your relationship. She confides in her newly-acquired therapist. She may have made a mistake once; the secret is sandwiched between her worries about your susceptibility to depression and how Nico is a decided food critic. 
Though the therapist, a lovely bilingual woman named Sofía, raises her eyebrows, she does not pry. She slides a paper calling card over to Alexia. The paper squeaks along the coffee table between the two comfortable armchairs of the office. “I specialise in couples. Seeing as your wife is already a client of mine, I think you should consider a joint session.” Alexia is new to the idea of mental health. Before, she had been too focused on football to care about it. Even when her father died, any professional she spoke to was only hearing how her mind worked because she knew it was what was best for her performance. “And, Alexia.” She looks up at the therapist with a small, nervous smile. “Congratulations on the pregnancy. I am sure Nico will make a wonderful older brother.” 
Morning sickness drags you out of your shared bed most days. 
Alexia asks you about couples’ therapy when you have finished your dry-heaving one morning. 
“I mean,” you begin before pausing, gulping down the sour taste in your mouth and hoping nothing else is trying to hit the toilet water until tomorrow. “Sorry.” 
“Don’t apologise.” She is dressed in her training kit, but she slings her jumper over your shoulders as soon as you shiver. “Do you think it’s a good idea?” 
“It would do no harm.” As long as Sofía does not bring up Alexia’s confession, your statement will ring true. “You book the appointment. It’ll be easier to work around your schedule that way.” 
“When are you flying back to London?” Her question is not filled with hatred for the city, but with resignation to the fact that your job involves you being stretched between here and there. 
“Not until next month. I thought that I could take Nico to an away game with my dad if I got a flight for Saturday. The rest of the week would be interviews and photoshoots.” 
“How’s the album doing?” 
So far, your songs are only written when Alexia has paid you enough attention to swirl your thoughts and blur your vision. It is in these moments that the lingering, sinking weight inside of you dissipates. “Dave remains hopeful. It won’t fail, but I need it to be better than what we currently have.” 
Shamelessly, Alexia is aware of her effect on your songs. She smirks; “Alba has been begging to babysit, you know.” With no care for your current state, Alexia’s eyes rake up and down your body. You grow embarrassed by how you are slumped over the toilet, and how she is standing above you as though she runs your world. “You look beautiful, mi amor,” she murmurs as you bashfully duck your head between your bent arms. 
“You’re a flirt.” It feels too late for her to still be in the flat. “And you’re going to miss training if you don’t get a move on. There are eggs in the fridge, and Nico definitely liked the omelette you made him a few days ago. He’ll be waking up soon.”
A small sigh escapes the midfielder’s lips, but the prospect of the things she loves most in the world appearing in her life consecutively is enough to convince her to pad her way out the bathroom, swanning into the corridor with a little grin on her face as she sings out ‘bon dia’ to an impressively multilingual toddler and heads into the kitchen with the domestic intention of getting breakfast started. She leaves an omelette out for you, which you attack shortly after Alexia and Nico disappear into their daily routine. She drops him off at preschool, and you pick him up a few hours later, taking him first for lunch with Alba, and then to the studio. 
You come home to a showered Alexia who is memorising her most recent match. She lets Nico slide into her lap without hesitation, but she stays focused on the football even when he tugs on the strands of hair falling out of ponytail. You marvel at the idea of having enough room in your heart for so much love. You decide that you are not like Alexia, though it is not necessarily a terrible thing. A further observation from watching your wife settle her son with a calm, muttered Catalan telling-off, coaxing him into loving football as though he does not already, is that you are so very content with your life at the moment. 
But 2020 kind of sucks. 
For the entire world. 
You’re cut off from your home in any other manner than a digital one, and being stuck in a luxurious penthouse in Barcelona isn’t the worst fate, but it really isn’t ideal. 
Elena, however, has the benefit of coming into the world with ever (physically) present parents, who could recite the java script for Zoom given that they spend hours on therapy calls. Elena, bright and smiley and the picture of her mother, spends the first few months of her life in a happy, happy family, protected by an entire football team and a fierce older brother. (And a yappy Pomerianian called Nala.) 
“Y/n doesn’t like the name María,” Jenni tells Mapi when Alexia sends the first picture of your new addition to the Barcelona group chat. 
“The next baby is going to be a Jennifer,” Mapi says, to both the forward and the unimpressed midfielder walking a few paces in front of such a silly conversation. “For that, I can only feel sorry for her.” 
The routine changes the following year. 
It starts with an abrupt but expected conversation. One that Alexia has been dreading. 
Your album – the first one that is just you – was released two months ago, and it has done too well. Selfishly, Alexia had hoped it would fail. You have enough money, and she is earning more and more each season. Success, unfortunately, means that this little life can no longer exist. Or can it? 
“I have to do it,” you whisper to her, tears in your eyes though the smell of sex still lingers. The quietness of a child-free apartment allows for you to hear her gulp. “It’ll be different this time, darling, but I can’t be here anymore. I can’t fly out to London every few days. I can’t leave you with a five-month-old and a toddler when you are training every day and playing matches every weekend. It’s not fair on anyone.” 
Alexia kisses your bare shoulder, hands slipping round your waist as she pulls your sweaty body into her. Her chest presses against your back, but she is only behind you in this bed. She does not agree with you. She does not support it. But, like she always does, she bites her tongue. “If that’s what you want,” she replies, and part of you dies with the thought that she does not really care. “I love you. I want what’s best for you. For us.” And she tells Jenni all about it when she goes to see her a week later – the flimsy excuse of meeting a childhood friend for dinner enough to wrap a cloth around your eyes and leave you at home with a screaming toddler and a baby whose only flaw is that she grows distraught the moment she is put down. 
In the dimly lit living room, the tension hangs thick in the air. You lock eyes. “Why can't you just move with us? Everyone will want you, darling, and life would be easier,” you plead, a month down the line. The house in Highgate has been readied for your more permanent return. 
Alexia takes a deep breath, her gaze unwavering. “Why can't you get it into your head that I'm not leaving Spain or Barcelona? This is my home.”
“What about the children? School? Life? My career? Does it mean nothing to you?”
Her eyes soften. Your heart breaks, and the piece of you that has already died somehow dies again. “I'm thinking of the children. All the time, I think of them. About the reputation of my name – their name. Putellas, the greatest in the world, or Putellas, the one with potential wasted at West Ham?”
“You're being selfish, Lex,” you snap. “This is an opportunity for all of us, not just me. Think about their future!”
“Their future is here, in the culture they know, the languages they speak. I won't strip them of their identity for the sake of a 'better' life. And my career? I've worked too hard to build what I have here. I won't throw it away.” I don’t want to throw it away. Underscored by Don’t leave me again. 
The room echoes with the weight of her voice. “Their identity comes from both of us.” It’s too final for either of your liking. Elena begins to cry in her cot. “I want to try it. I want you to be open to trying it.” 
She gestures to the suitcases by the door. “Trying it and doing it are two different things. You’re taking them from me!” 
“You’re probably going to love life without them anyway!” you shout. You feel like the crying baby, except the tears rolling down your cheeks carry much more suffering than hers. “You’ll – what? You’ll go out with your friends, and you’ll be able to go to the gym whenever you want. No arguing, no crying, no toddler to entertain, no nappies to change. You never wanted children. I forced it upon you. I regret it, and I’m sorry. We’ll go.”
“Don’t go.” 
I don’t want you to go.
“I have to.” 
You turn your back to her as you fly through the corridor, prepared to console Elena in a taxi. Alexia slips her ring off her finger, and clutches it in her palm instead. Desperately, she searches for a solution. There is nothing within her reach, not even you. 
… 
She is an island amongst a sea of happy people. She is going to be the greatest footballer in the world. It kills her to realise that she can now focus on football. 
Nico starts nursery, attending the same school you once did. He adjusts to life in London seamlessly, and Elena does not seem to care either way. He learns more English every day, and his other mother calls him nightly to read to him. 
With childcare more than sorted, you are free to be interviewed, pictured, and invited to events. You rake in the publicity, especially after laying so slow over the course of the lockdown in Spain. 
“Alexia.” Jenni’s hands knead her tight shoulders, partly teasing her. Alexia wears a frown, eyebrows knitting together with an emotion she’s not sure she can name. “Ale, it’s the same game as always. Nothing has changed.” 
“I know,” she murmurs. “I don’t understand why I feel like this.” She has continued to speak to Sofía, though your joint sessions have now come to a halt while you spend your time doubling as a singer and model. The therapist, try as she might, cannot evaluate the situation effectively enough. Eli and Alba have both tried to help, hoping that weekly dinners and the constant reminder about the invention of aeroplanes would ease the turmoil of Alexia’s mind. It does not. “I am so alone, Jenni.”
Nala is too small to fill the emptiness of the flat. Screens don’t allow for her to kiss you, or play with Nico. She is scared she will miss Elena’s first words. 
“You don’t have to be.” 
It only takes a month for Alexia to break, and it sort of works. 
In Jenni’s bed, it works. Hips keening, soft pants falling from her mouth. 
Quiet moans that stay locked in Jenni’s apartment. 
Each time Alexia leaves, though Jenni repeatedly requests that she stays, she walks out as half a woman. She blinks back her tears and she checks her phone. When she calls you – not a video call – you are never any the wiser to the scratches down her back. 
Alexia remains an island, but the sand beaches are tainted with the arrival of someone else. 
In this way, she is functional. 
She can do sex. She can deal with borderline romance. She can fill the space that you are tearing open with every passing minute spent in that god-awful country you insist on calling home. She can fix it a little bit with Jenni. 
She tells herself that it does not mean anything more than a bandage means to a wound. Who wears the bandage once the gash has healed? 
Where does she put the used bandage? 
Why is she focused on bandages?! She’s having an affair. It’s not an affair! (It is.) Alexia doesn’t… quite… wanttoadmititjustyet.
The buzz of your phone is the final push that gets you to conclude the current interview you are trapped in. Before checking what the notification is, you glance at the time. You have half an hour before you need to pick up Nico, and your parents said they would drop Elena home once they returned from London Zoo. 
Alexia: Jenni has had a really good idea 
It’s an intriguing text amongst the more practical ones that oil the mechanics of managing the distance. Tonight, Barcelona play their last match of the season. After this, she’ll be flying out to London. You have missed her. The last time you saw her in person was after Barcelona embarrassed Chelsea in Gothenburg. Elated and filled with pride, it was incredibly nice to have the biggest room in the hotel to yourselves. Her medal was almost as beautiful as her. 
You: Go on…
Alexia: Just draw a heart on Nico’s hand from me porfa. You’ll see. 
You slide into the driver’s seat of your newest self-indulgent car; a Porsche. Momentarily distracted by a camera flash, your turn onto the main road is a little risky, but you manage to make it to the school in time to collect your son. 
“Was he good?” you ask his teacher as she hands you Nico’s book bag. You take in the sight of him: hair messy, school uniform stained though they require the little ones to wear aprons for most of the day. “It’s a little different here. I’m hoping that he’s enjoying himself.” 
“Our new assistant is from Spain,” says the teacher with a small, tired smile, batting her long eyelashes at you. “We had to pry him off her.” 
You let out a laugh. “He misses his mum.” 
“He’s extremely intelligent. He knew to speak Spanish to her and English to us.” Though your grasp of Spanish is near-fluent after such reluctance from your wife to try English, you know that the two-year-old has a talent for juggling the three languages he is growing up around. You’re proud of him. “You shouldn’t worry about him. And, speaking of, we have a parents’ coffee morning just around the corner. It’s always great for the parents to get along – it helps the school feel even more like a family. Will it just be you attending?” Nico’s teacher is around your age, and you can smell her rose perfume that mingles with the soft hint of ready-mixed paint. She has deep, brown eyes, and she is definitely flirting with you. 
“Next week, right? I’ll have to check with my wife.” 
It’s then that a toddler-sized hand grips your fingers and tugs. “Mama, me voy,” he groans; something akin to Alexia’s impatience. It reminds you of when you used to go shopping and she’d herd you out with the threat of getting in the car and driving away. “Venga.” 
“One sec, sweetheart.” There are countless ways in which you miss Alexia. “My wife and I would love to come.” 
Her smile does not falter on her lips, but there is a greyish disappointment that dulls the warmth of her irises. You smile as you turn your back and lead Nico to the car. You are so excited for Alexia to complete the broken puzzle. 
You melt when she kisses the heart drawn onto her hand when celebrating her goal. Nico copies her, lips pursing and sloppily mimicking the action on a similar heart. “For you, sweetheart,” you tell him as he settles back into your side, careful not to jostle Elena who has fallen asleep on your chest (the therapist did wonders for you). 
“It was for you,” Jenni tells Alexia after the match. Her goal is now serving as the move Alexia feared she’d make. They have changed and been massaged and done the media the are required to do (women’s football is growing): they are free to roam Barcelona if they so wish. 
Her flight is tomorrow evening – “I have a flight tomorrow evening.” 
“Come over tonight.” It isn’t a question, yet it is not quite a command. Mapi passes the two of them, eyes narrowing at the way Jenni has wrapped her hand around Alexia’s wrist. The defender is aware that something is going on, though it breaks her heart to imagine Alexia ever doing that to you. Not knowing they are being watched, Alexia steps in; cups Jenni’s face, brushes her cheekbone with a stroke of her thumb Mapi knows is meant for her wife. Mapi’s stomach lurches. She feels sick. 
“I need to…” It’s not a ‘no’. “Jenni.” She hates that it is not a ‘no’. 
“Ale.” There’s a beat. Mapi blinks twice, shakes her head, and backs away. “I’ll miss you, you know?” 
… 
Jenni doesn’t seem to mind when, the next day, blurry pictures of you on a family outing make rounds through the tabloids she usually doesn’t read. The fact that, up until now, no one has known that your wife is Alexia Putellas has no effect on her. She was stupid for thinking the last six months meant something. Winning together, losing together. Sleeping together. 
In this deal, Alexia has fucked over both women who love her. Except, you don’t know. She hasn’t told you, though Jenni had hoped for it secretly – hoped Alexia chose her – and it is obvious. Obvious to Jenni, who is well acquainted with the blonde hair in the wings of your concert at the O2. Obvious to Jenni, who refuses to think of herself as the other woman. 
She consults Mapi. 
Mapi, who she has come to shamefully realise already knows. 
“I can’t believe the two of you.” The defender is clear in her distaste and disappointment and, honestly, her disgust. “But I am not going to be the one to break that poor girl’s heart.” 
“I’m not asking you to.” 
What is she asking? What does she want from this utterly useless conversation? 
“Mapi.” Jenni closes her eyes, but she sees two faces instead of darkness. Nico. Elena. She’s Elena’s godmother. You decided that – convinced Alexia to choose her best friend over her younger sister, told your wife that there’d be another for Alba to corrupt. “Mapi, I love her. I don’t know what to do.” 
“She loves her wife.” The next sentence proceeds to brutally remind Jenni who that isn’t. “Tell her you’re done. Find someone else. Anyone but her.” 
That is Jenni’s resolve, because she knows that Mapi is right. 
… 
June, July, and August pass with bliss. 
Everyone says that you are a beautiful couple with beautiful children. Alexia beams with pride as she flaunts her practised English, and gladly claims ownership of Nico when he wins a prize on speech day. Every child in Reception is awarded something but that doesn’t stop her from boasting.
She explores the country with the children while you shack up in the recording studio, and brings hugs and kisses (and Red Bull) every evening after dinner. The visits are what reminds you of the sun Alexia brings, especially as the warmth follows her from Barcelona and London is blessed with golden days. Dog days. 
“This isn’t permanent.” Alexia looks up from her phone, comfortable in your bed. The house in Highgate has flecks of Spain woven into the decor now, and you like it that way. 
You climb into the bed beside her, and her arm lifts so that you can snuggle into her chiselled stomach (wow, she has been working hard this season). “What’s Jenni saying?” you ask, following your statement and hoping you’ll get her attention. She presses her phone screen into the duvet before you can translate the message – it is too long of a paragraph for you to handle. “Anyway, I wanted to tell you that this isn’t permanent.” 
Alexia, over the past few months, has been the most affectionate, loving, amazing person with the same smile and giggle you married. You thought she had disappeared and was replaced with stern, career-focused Alexia Putellas, jugadora del fútbol. You were wrong. 
“I’m thinking January is when we’ll come back. Nico’s English will survive.” Your parents are going travelling. They’ve never been on the Orient Express before. “I want to be with you.” 
It is a good thing Jenni has just broken up with her. 
“I love you,” you continue. “So much.” 
Alexia hums. Her heart breaks, and she does not know for whom. “¿En serio?” She is happy, she thinks. Certainly, she is glad that the four of you will be reunited. 
 You are. 
January 2022 ruins things for Jenni Hermoso. She calls Pachuca back. 
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e-hv · 2 months
Text
Why II
This is a repost cause i deleted all my fics
Major warning if you have mommy issues or daddy issues or parental neglect issues pls do not read this
and if you do read this pls don't blame me for anything, including but not limited to excessive crying/sobbing, a depression slump/ wanting to kill someone or anything else
Or if you're name Sarah
part 1
Alexia Putellas X Child!Reader
Tw: Negelct, Angst
Summary: Why did she not try
Why didn't I make the effort to acknowledge you, or even offer a simple greeting, when all you wanted was a moment of recognition?
Alexia was back from Elena’s high school graduation when she saw the Envelope on the dining table, mark with her name on it, she was going to open it when she realized it was your handwriting. She rolled her eyes thinking it was one of your notes, asking her to spend time with you or something similar. She threw the envelope into the bin and started looking through her email. The sky soon turned dark, she realized she hasn’t seen you since she came back which was unusual since you were always clinging to her like a lost puppy. She was going to order take out for both of you, when she recieved a text from Elena asking her if she wanted to celebrate her graduation with dinner, she texted her back saying yes, and called you to come down so she could give you money for your dinner. When you didn’t reply her or rush down she just left the money on the counter and went out for dinner. When she came back the lights were still on, she thought nothing of me until she saw that the money she left you was left untouched. She walked up stairs and open the door, noticing your barren room. She decided to call you, but all she heard was,
"Thank you for calling. The number you have reached has been disconnected or is no longer in service. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. Please check the number and try your call again. Thank you.”
Since when did your number change she thought, she wanted to ask your friends if they knew where you were but she realized she didn’t even know who they were. Then she remembered the letter that she envelope that she threw to the bin,
When she opened the envelope and read the letter, she felt empty she didn’t know why, she thought would be happy wouldn’t she after all she had been pushing you away all this time. So she set the letter down, change into her evening gown and went to sleep. But as the weeks past, she felt the empty feeling grow into a pit in her heart. She started missing the notes you left, the way you would smile when she talked to you, the warmth of your presence in the house. She missed the little moments that she had taken for granted.
As more a month flash by she started trying to look for you after all you couldn’t have gotten that for right. She decided to go to your room trying to find anything that could lead her to where youu went instead she found, a book, she then remebered that in your letter you wrote that you were excited that you made it into the school's football team. When she first read it she was confuse as she never remembered you even taking an intrest in football. But after she saw the book she realized you did indeed tell her you make it to the football team, it was also the day she was supposed to fetch you from school as you had been begging her to for a long time, so she just said yes. Hoping you would stop pestering her, she didn’t fetch you that day, and instead of giving you an explanation, she just ignored you when you told her your exciting news, and told you she would talk about it over dinner, which she also missed.
She then remembered all the other times you tried talking to her, yet she just regarded you as a pest, wanting you to just stop. How she regrets it now, as all she wanted was for you to come back through the front door and hug her telling her you change your mind. And she would make up for all the times she dismissed you. However it didn’t happen you didn’t walk in, the house was still missing your presence, and the emptiness lingered in every corner.
Alexia couldn't shake off the overwhelming guilt that consumed her. She realized how she had neglected you, how she had failed to offer even a simple acknowledgment of your existence, let alone celebrate your achievements and share in your excitement.
As she sat in your barren room, holding onto the book that held a piece of your excitement and dreams, she couldn't help but feel the weight of her own shortcomings as a mother. She wished she could turn back time, to undo the hurt she had caused you, to be the supportive and loving mother you deserved.
But no amount of regret could change the fact that you were gone, that she had lost the chance to make things right. The realization hit her like a wave, crashing down on her with a force she couldn't bear.
Tears streamed down Alexia's face as she clutched onto the book, her heart aching with the longing for your presence, for another chance to show you that she cared.
Why did I neglect the most fundamental tasks you asked of me, yet expect you to readily assist me in my every request?
She was still trying to look for you when she, reread your letter for the hundred time, she read the part where you said that you asked if you could go to the arcade with your friends and that you’ve always bent over backwards to fulfill her every request. She recalled the times, she would asked you to help her buy things before and during team building and didn’t even ask you if you wanted to join, instead reminding you that you had to help her clean up after it ended. She then remembered all the times you ask her if she could go to the beach with you, or attend your concert or events and she said she was busy.
She remembered how she always seemed to prioritize her own needs and desires over yours, expecting you to readily assist her in every request without considering your own wishes and feelings.
The weight of her negligence and selfishness hit her like a ton of bricks. She realized how she had taken you for granted, how she had failed to see the love and effort you were pouring into your relationship with her, only to be met with indifference and neglect in return.
Alexia's heart ached with the realization of her own hypocrisy. How could she have expected you to be there for her when she couldn't even spare a moment to acknowledge your needs and desires?
Why couldn’t she had just try to make time for you maybe then you would still be here with her, she thought as she was holding back tears telling herself she didn’t deserved to feel sad as it was all her fault.
Why was I consistently absent from your most significant moments, offering nothing but hollow excuses in return?
Alexia now had a routine go to training or a match and comeback home to try to look for you. The only times it ever change was when she had an away game even then, she checked the camera that she installed in the front door ( incase you came back and she wasn’t there) religiously. When she checked her phone she saw a message from Elena, she ignored it as now every time she saw it she saw a message from her she only remembers the fact that she missed your primary school graduation even though she promised you. Or the fact she always said that she had to help Elena with something and missed your milestones and important moments. She remembered all the reasons she thought was good reasons that now she realized was pitiful excuses.
All the times she said she was busy, and the way your eyes dimmed but you still hugged her and said it was okay. She wondered how much she hurt you but didn’t realized or more accurately was to busy to care.
And you... why didn't you question me when I stopped paying attention to you?
She found a photo album titled 2019 summer road trip, she didn’t remember going on any road trip before, when she opened the album she saw a photo of you in a car, she then remembered of the week she didn’t see you at all. And when she did you asked her if she wanted to ask you anything and she just ignored you thinking it was one of your antics. Turned out you had gone on a road trip for a week, and she didn’t even realized. She wondered why you didn’t ask her if she notice but you did in fact try to, as she vividly remembers you trying to tell her something but she just tuned it out and focused on her phone.
The weight of her neglect weighed heavily on Alexia as she flipped through the album, each photo a painful reminder of the moments she had missed, the moments she had failed to share with you.
She recalled the times you had tried to reach out to her, to question her absence, but she had brushed you off, too preoccupied with her own affairs to spare a moment for you. The guilt gnawed at her insides as she realized how much she had hurt you, how much pain she had caused with her indifference and neglect.
Alexia couldn't understand why you didn't push her more, why you didn't demand her attention and question her absence. She knew deep down that you deserved so much more, that you deserved a mother who would be there for you, who would prioritize your needs and desires above all else.
But instead, she had failed you time and time again, offering nothing but hollow excuses in return for your longing for recognition and acknowledgment.
As she sat there, surrounded by memories of the moments she had missed, Alexia couldn't help but feel a profound sense of regret. Regret for the time lost, for the moments she could never get back, for the love and attention she had failed to give you.
What actions of mine led you to accept the disdain from me , your own flesh and blood, to endure such neglect?
What exactly crossed my mind when I opted to engage with her instead of you, my own daughter?
Alexia couldn’t help but ask herself what exactly did she do to make you accept her negelct like it was normalcy, and maybe it was to you. Her mind settled on to the memory where she believed Elena over you, and scolded you for something you probably didn’t do. She then recalled the fact she had took the necklace back from Elena planning to give it back to you when you apologized. You never did, and that was a blessing in disguised. She rummaged around her drawer for the necklace and when she found it, she knew she didn’t give it to you that’s when she remembered in your letter it stated that you found someone that treated you like her own daughter, who was there for you when she wasn’t. She shouldn’t feel sad, angry or jealous that you relied on that women instead of her but as she held the necklace in her hands, engraved with the word "Princesa" and signed by someone named L.W., Alexia couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy towards this mysterious figure who had seemingly filled the void in your life that she had left gaping open.
She realized that she had pushed you away, prioritizing her own desires and relationships over nurturing the bond she had with you. The memory of scolding you based on Elena's words instead of listening to your side of the story haunted her, knowing now that it was a pivotal moment where she had failed you.
And as she sat there, clutching the necklace that symbolized the connection she had failed to maintain with you, Alexia couldn't help but wonder why she had chosen to engage with others instead of prioritizing you, her own flesh and blood.
She knew that her actions had led you to seek comfort and acceptance elsewhere, to find comfort in someone who treated you like their own daughter when she had failed to do so.
But even amidst the guilt and regret, Alexia realized that she couldn't change the past. All she could do now was acknowledge her mistakes, learn from them, and strive to be a better mother to you, even if it meant starting from scratch and earning back your trust and love.
And as tears welled up in her eyes, Alexia made a silent vow to herself – to never again neglect the most fundamental task of being a mother, to always prioritize you above all else, and to make up for the lost time and opportunities she had squandered in the past.
And despite the pain and letdowns I've inflicted, why did you persist in holding onto hope that I would come through for you
Despite the pain and letdowns she had inflicted, Alexia couldn't help but wonder why you persisted in holding onto hope that she would come through for you. It was a question that haunted her as she grappled with the realization of how much she had failed you, how much she had neglected to be the mother you needed and deserved.
When a parcel labeled for you arrived, Alexia couldn’t resist the urge to open it. Inside, she found a medal inscribed with the words "Copa Juvenil Estrella" – "Star Youth Cup." Confusion washed over her as she struggled to understand why you would receive a medal from one of the most competitive under-21 tournaments in Spain. It was then that the pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place.
She remembered the day of the tournament finals, the same day you had asked her to attend your football match. She recalled how she had brushed you off, claiming to be busy with her and Elena's training. It was a moment of realization that hit her like a bolt of lightning – she had prioritized her own interests over yours once again, and it may have been the final straw for you.
As Alexia connected the dots, she felt like burying herself six feet under. She couldn’t believe she didn’t know you were playing football much less knew you were playing it at such a high standard.
She wondered just what else she didn’t know about you. But she knew she could only hope that she’ll find you and that you’ll be able to forgive her so that you could build up your relationship again.
I just wish that one day I'll gather enough courage to ask for your forgiveness, and to find the strength to accept that you may never be there for me, regardless of how much I now yearn for your presence in my life
As Alexia was sitting down looking at her computer, a picture came up with you in her arms the day she adopted you and promised you she would love and take care of you forever. However all she did was the opposite, she remembered all the conversation’s or missed opportunities you had hinted at in your letter and, memories came rushing back to her,
“Mami, I made it into the school’s football team.”
The words barely registered as she mumbled a distracted response.
“But you promised you'd pick me up today.”
Your disappointment was palpable, "I know, sweetie, but something came up. The helper will take care of you," she said, barely sparing you a glance as I tried to focus on my task at hand.
"
As she watched you retreat to your room, she couldn't help but wonder why you seemed so upset. Didn't you understand that she had important things to attend to? Why couldn't you just be patient and wait for her to finish?
“Mami, can I go to the arcade with my friends? It’s the last day of school.”
She thought that you should help her with her teambuilding since you were her daughter after all.
"But I finished all my work."
Your insistence only added to her frustration. "I said no. End of discussion," I declared, my tone final as I brushed off your request. Didn't you understand that she had more important things to worry about than your petty desires?
"Why does she always choose someone else over me?"
As she watched you resign yourself to another night at home, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of annoyance. Why couldn't you just accept that she had my own life to live, her own priorities to attend to?
"Mom, why can't you come to my graduation?"
Your hurt was evident in your voice, but she couldn't afford to dwell on it. "I have a work commitment, sweetie," she replied, her words hollow .
"I didn’t do anything wrong, Mom."
Your protests fell on deaf ears as she refused to listen. "I don't want to hear it," she cut you off, her disappointment palpable as she struggled to come to terms with your perceived shortcomings.
All the things she thought about you and everything she said was what pushed you away. Each dismissive remark, each broken promise, each moment of neglect drove a wedge between you, widening the gap in your relationship until it became insurmountable.
As Alexia sat there, reflecting on her past actions and the impact they had on you, she couldn't help but feel a deep sense of regret and remorse. She wished she could turn back time, to undo the hurt she had caused, to be the mother you needed and deserved.
But she knew that she couldn't change the past. All she could do now was acknowledge her mistakes and strive to do better in the future. She realized that she needed to confront her own shortcomings, to learn from her mistakes, and to prioritize you above all else.
With tears streaming down her face, Alexia made a silent vow to herself – to gather enough courage to ask for your forgiveness, and to find the strength to accept that you may never forgive her, regardless of how much she now yearned for your presence in her life.
As she sat there, clutching onto the memories of the moments she had missed, a notification from Instagram interrupted her thoughts. The post was from Arsenal, and the caption read:
"Welcome to Arsenal, our new signing Y/N Williamson”
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sscarletvenus · 18 days
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ptj truly created THE siblings of all time like???
one of them is a greasy depressed manic junkie, a cannibal, a trigger-happy psychopath serial killer who has committed patricide, has consistently worn sanguine biker leather and denims for almost a decade, and is the lecherous and weird and off-puttingly attractive boss of a cartel in Mexico, with quark-shattering daddy issues.
and the other one is a gentle and beautiful "gang leader" who wears old money monochrome suits and trousers, who also hates his dad, wanting nothing to do with him but cannot seem to extricate himself from being entangled with the eerie circumstances of his father's demise. he is so wretchedly honorable and empathetic and self-sacrificial while simultaneously being like. insanely manipulative. and superficially charming. his face evokes the image of golden fields of rice as vast as the eyes can see, his visage as fertile as the banks of the nile, an autumnal apple orchard. but he's also depressed and lost and disillusioned with an unhealthy obsession for an older man who got him involved with gangs in the first place.
one of them really likes red velvet cakes and fruit flavoured bubblegum while the other likes raw, red meat still pulsing with vitality.
both are so similar and so in opposition to each other. truly two parts of gapryong's whole, an intelligent evil and an arbitrary goodness. one of them is his light, the other his rot, his capacity for evil (why else would he play with women and abandon them, neglect his children, or intend to join politics?) . and you know what? these parts are not in complete exclusion of each other. we have seen jake breach moral thresholds for the one he treasures, similarly, gitae also eliminated gapryong which is an ironic justice to himself and those that suffered because of gapryong.
post getting too long so i will just end by this : i love you toxic pernicious wretched doomed by the narrative siblings. i am obsessed with you.
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unrelaxing · 8 days
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I've been a fan of Taylor Swift's music since 2008. I have her CDs (and some cassettes), and while I like some albums better than others, I have never disliked an album. TTPD is the first. I've listened to it twice because sometimes it takes a bit for something to grow on you, and here are my thoughts as to why it isn't for me:
It sounds like one long, incredibly boring song. There's no variety in the album's sound; the melodies are super forgettable and by the time I get to the next song I've already forgotten the one that came before it. The fact that it's 2 hours long highlights all of this even more.
The album is lyrically her weakest. 'Tattooed golden retriever' will haunt me for the rest of my days, but shout-out to 'at dinner you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one / people put wedding rings on' and 'I felt more when we played pretend / than with all the Kens' for sending those Rupi Kaur "every run on sentence can be deep" vibes.
(I will also say when you contextualise the lyrics in terms of her life - if you're a big enough fan - or deep into pop culture - it's even more disappointing. There's a song about resenting her depressed partner for 'all the youth she wasted' on him, believing he sacrificed their relationship 'the the gods of his bluest days' - a very bad faith understanding of clinical depression and what it can do to a person. I know it's hard to be in a relationship with someone who has mental health issues, but man how much harder would it be for someone when their partner only sees them as a burden, and says so in the song about your break-up? Then when people criticise your new boyfriend for his racism and general asshole behaviour you write a song about how 'daddy I love him' and talk about how your fans are pearl clutching. It's just... disappointing.)
People are calling the album "raw" and I agree - but in the "this needed more time in the oven before being served" kind of way.
All in all, the album just feels and sounds ... trite.
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alexsoenomel · 1 month
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Camping Shenanigans
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Summary: You like both brothers and you decide to go camping for Sam's birthday.
Pairing: Sam x Reader x Dean Winchester
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI , implied smut, kissing, fluff
Word count: 4.9k
Note: Not beta read. It has been sitting in my drafts for months. Enjoy!
Like/ reblog or both if you like it :)
"Camping? Are you serious?" 
"Yes, Dean, it's my birthday," Sam answered. 
"It was my idea," you chimed in as Dean shot you a death stare. "Kinda," You added.
***
It wasn't actually your idea. You just asked Sam a simple question:
“What’s something you always wanted to do but never had a chance to do it?”
He said camping. 
"Why do you ask?"
"Your birthday is coming soon!" You told him and stuffed your face with some scrambled eggs you decided to have that morning.
"So?" Sam was a bit confused. He never really cared much about his birthday. 
"Let's do something fun for your birthday. Every year is the same; Dean celebrates his birthdays hammered and dodging STDs like bullets, my birthdays are depressing because I'm always broke or sad or both, and yours…it's like you don't have birthdays." 
"So,do you wanna go camping for my birthday?" 
"Yes! And we can celebrate in nature with lots of alcohol." 
"I mean sure, but Dean's gonna –"
"Oh fuck what Dean says he's coming too."
***
"Kinda?!"
"It will be fun Dean, besides spending time in nature will be good for you," Sam said.
"Actually, concerning amount of booze and chicks with daddy issues are the only two things that are good for me, not this!" He still kept protesting.
"You're going, Dean!" Sam told him. 
"Fine, but if a snake bites me, I'm shaving your head!" 
"Yeah, yeah! Pack a bag, we're going tomorrow morning!"
"TOMORROW MORNING?!" Dean’s voice went an octave higher.
"Yeah, and I'm driving!" Sam smirked. 
"Not a chance," Dean simply said before taking a sip of beer. 
You and Sam found a wonderful campsite in Greenheart National Park in Wyoming and decided to book it, long before telling Dean. Two nights under the stars in the middle of nowhere sounded wonderful, but Dean still wasn't impressed. Even after telling him, it wasn't a traditional campsite – it had toilets, outdoor showers and all-inclusive breakfast, lunch and dinner – he still wasn't impressed. Dean being Dean - he was protesting and whining, right until you actually sat in his car and he started the engine. He didn't like the idea, but it was Sam's birthday tomorrow and he would go to the ends of the Earth for his little brother. 
The drive was long and seemed endless. Between trying to get comfortable, taking a nap, listening to music and eating snacks because of boredom, you couldn’t wait to spend time in nature and watch the stars. Sam was visibly excited, asking Dean every two hours where you were, explaining how to set up a tent, telling fun statistics about bear attacks which made Dean a bit uneasy. Sam’s inner child was slowly healing and yours was just happy to tag along. Dean's on the other hand…his inner child just wanted to get back to bed.
“This is going to be fun!” You laughed. “Dean, get ready to fight bears!” 
“Shut your mouth!” 
*****
After approximately 13 hours you finally arrived, far away from civilization. Everything was green, the sky was blue and the air was fresh. It was almost 9pm and even though it was May, it was a bit chilly.
"You will all get your tents, feel free to set up anywhere you like, but please don't go far away from the station," The bold man was speaking, aka the owner. He was a middle-aged man, very athletic and taller than Sam. Nice obnoxious smile too. "Dinner is in an hour and if anyone has to shower, showers and toilets are behind the gazebo. We will start the bonfire at 11pm if you wanna join. I'm making some good ol' homemade chips. Hope you enjoy your stay and please if you have any questions, concerns, I'm here."
"He seems nice," You whispered.
"Yeah, and bold," Dean added, clearly trying to sound funny. He tried and failed.
“He might be bold, but next to him you’re just a scrawny little bitch,” you clapped back, hoping it would sting him. 
“Ouch!” It did. 
Sam laughed.
*****
“So, do you want to share a tent?” You asked the brothers as they shared a look of concern. 
“Well…” Sam started, but was unable to finish his thought.
“Mmm..” Dean too.
They didn’t like the idea, so naturally you decided to go with it and ask the owner to give you the biggest tent he could find. “For the three of you?” The guy asked, pointing a finger at Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup. You were the last one to get your tent. Some people already found their spot and set up theirs.  
“Yes, the biggest one please. I don’t wanna be suffocated by these two.” 
The guy chuckled. “Roger that!” He then went into the storage room and started rummaging through his things. After a minute he came back holding a large black bag. “Here you go!” He said and tossed it to Sam. “That will do!” He also gave you three sleeping bags and you were off.
“Thank you so much!” You said. 
****
You found your spot far away from people next to a pine tree that was sticking out from the rest of the forest that was behind you. The hill was beautiful, grass perfectly cut, the sky covered in stars like freckles scattered all over, while the air felt colder than an hour ago.
“I have no idea what I’m doing!” Dean said, trying to see which part of the tent goes where, while you used the flashlight on your phone to guide him. 
“Let me!” Sam said and gathered all the poles in one pile. He read a thing or two about different types of tents and recognized you got the one with a porch aka ‘the fancy one’. 
“Well happy birthday Sammy!” You told him. “Congratulations on being one year closer to death!”
“Wow (Y/N), you sure know how to make a man feel like crap!” Dean scoffed. 
“What’re you talking about Dean? I praise him all the time. Both of you!”
“Yeah, praise my ass!”
“You do have a great ass!” You winked at him. Dean just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms looking offended. 
Sam laughed at your joke. “Thank you, but it’s not midnight yet!”  ***
An hour later, Sam finally set up the tent and Dean was already on his second beer. This campsite was known for having unlimited amounts of booze and Dean was one happy camper when he found that out. Meanwhile Sam was really proud of himself for setting up his first tent. It was spacious and brand new. When you put the sleeping bags in, you realized you were going to get squished by the brothers. The tent was big, but not big enough.
You liked that idea, considering your long history of liking both of them and not being able to decide. It had been over ten years and you still couldn’t decide. They both had qualities you desired in a man and were special in their own way. Sam’s height and intelligence made you want to climb him like a tree and never get down, while Dean’s perfect smile and snarky humor made you want to make him whimper under you. They were childhood friends and lived across the street, and since your parents liked to hang out you would see them almost every weekend.
Once they moved across the country you still stayed in touch - texted and called every once in a while, but your heart was aching for them. You missed them dearly. It all fell into place once you saw Sam one random Monday morning on campus at Stanford and your shenanigans started again. Dean decided more education was too much for his brain, so he opened a small music store in San Diego and was doing surprisingly well. You started hanging out again, going to pubs, having movie nights, game nights…
You and Sam would also visit Dean and everything seemed to make sense once again. You were like three peas in a pod – same but slightly different.
Over the years you learned how to ignore your feelings and push those thoughts away, and yet sometimes you'd catch your stomach flipping every time they would bring up past relationships or flings. They both didn't want to settle down, and while you liked the idea of it, you were picky and hadn’t found someone who was worthy of you to settle down with.
"Shower and alcohol?" You asked Sam, since Dean had already showered and was now on his third beer.
"Yes please."
Showering in nature was a first for you. You thought you were going to freeze but surprisingly even though you did, it felt amazing on your skin. You enjoyed the wind making you shiver. 
“How was it, Sam?” You said, stepping out of the shower in nothing but a towel. Sam actually took the time and got dressed in the wooden shower cabin.
“Cold.” He answered, his voice shivering. His wet hair was slick back, a blue shirt accentuating his muscles, while the gray sweatpants he wore particularly outlined his cock, making it hard to focus.
The things I’d do to that man are ungodly and borderline illegal.
SNAP OUT OF IT!
“And refreshing,” You added. 
“You should get dressed before you get sick.” 
“Okay, mother!” You rolled your eyes and went back to the tent.
Anything for you, handsome!
***
Dinner was delicious – Dutch oven mac and cheese. Everybody got one big full plate and it was better than you could imagine; very salty and cheesy.
It was nice to sit and look at the bonfire while eating your favorite childhood meal but soon you just wanted to get away from the people and loud noise. You stuck around for a few minutes, watching the fire and chatting with a few nice girls you met while waiting for dinner before your social battery completely died. You excused yourself and left. You weren’t in the mood for small talk anymore – Sam and Dean were a lot better at it than you and they were a lot more social too. You decided to watch from afar and sit on the porch swing that was looking directly at the bonfire surrounded by people having a great time. You were sipping your beer watching the fire go wild as the bold guy threw a few branches, making it stable enough to actually start making his homemade chips in the skillet. You felt like a kid again. The beer was just enough to relax you even though the taste wasn't the best. The stars decided to shine that night, while the crescent moon was too shy to show its whole face.
“Having fun over there?” You heard a familiar voice and saw a shadow of a person approaching you. It was Dean. 
“Yeah, just don’t feel like talking to people,” you told him. 
He sat down next to you and put his beer bottle next to yours. You exchanged looks in semi- complete darkness and made a toast. 
“Cheers!”
“Happy birthday to Sam!” You said, looking at Sam who was talking to a guy much shorter than him.
“I swear it was yesterday he was learning how to walk,” Dean told you. 
“You sound like my mother,” You chuckled.
Your mind was getting tired and since the swing was made out of wood, you were struggling to get comfortable. Your head decided to rest on his shoulder as you took a sip of your beer, eyes still on Sam. Your hands wrapped around his arm as you lifted your legs on the swing. His arm was firm and he smelled too good for your own good – something between leather and pines surrounding you. He seemed to be tense though, or at least that was what you thought.
“Dean, I don’t bite, unless you want me to! Relax!”
You couldn’t see but he just rolled his eyes and scoffed. “I’m relaxed!” 
“Well damn, you have been working out then!” You decided to compliment him. As much as you loved roasting him, making him feel good was also important to you. 
“Not so bad for a scrawny little bitch, huh?” 
“Shut up!”
***
The night was growing cold and you were getting tired. You didn't know the time, since your phone was back in the tent, but one thing you knew – it was time to go to sleep. The Winchesters were having a great time lingering in the crowd so you decided to leave them to have their fun and go to sleep. 
"Guys, I'm gonna go hit the sack!" You shouted from afar, since you saw, they were talking to someone – a man you didn't know and didn't want to know.
"Are you sure, (Y/N)?" Sam asked.
"Yeah I'm tired! Good night, guys!" 
"Good night!" They said in sync.
You snuggled up in your sleeping bag, shivering from the cold and realized; since you were sleeping on the ground you won't be able to get one hundred percent comfortable so the only logical thing was to take melatonin for sleep. That magic pill could make any surface feel like clouds and on top of that made you actually have nice dreams, since you didn't dream as much.
You took one pill and chugged a good amount of water. You were out in about 45 minutes.
***
Sam's lips were on your neck, kissing, biting, making you shiver; while Dean's lips went lower and lower. You didn't know which name to moan first, hell, you didn't know where you were, but it was blissful and a whole lot of sinful.
Dean's lips reached your panties and before he moved them to the side, he placed a kiss making you squirm. Sam's large hands were playing with your breasts while he couldn't separate his lips from your neck.
As soon as Dean's tongue touched your throbbing clit, you arched your back in pleasure. He was slow, and with the combination of Sam's rough kisses, your body was overwhelmed and feeling nothing but intense pleasure.
"Dean!" You whispered. “Dean!”
"(Y/N)?" Dean mumbled, his eyes half open, even though he couldn't see shit. 
"Sam! Fuck!" This time, a whisper, sounding more like a light moan of his brother's name.
"You kiddin'?" He was now fully awake and fully aware you were in fact not trying to wake him up.
"So good!" 
"I'll be damned!" He whispered, not really sure what to do. Sam wasn't saying a word so he figured he was in a coma since he had too many beers a few hours ago. You were squished between them but somehow ended up being closer to Dean so he decided to snap you back to reality.
"(Y/N)!" He whispered, this time a little bit louder. "Wake the hell up!" He said, trying to shake you to wake you up.
"Huh, what?" You finally mumbled as he violently pulled you back to reality. It took you a couple of seconds to realize it was, all in fact, just a dream.
"You snore like a buzzsaw!" He lied.
"Oh sorry!" 
And without saying anything else, you both went to sleep. It took Dean a couple of minutes though, since he couldn't stop thinking about what he heard.
Dirty girl. 
Was the last thing he thought before passing out.
****
The next morning you woke up well rested but in pain. Your body felt stiff until you stretched and actually got out of the tent. It was cold during the night, the air was fresh, but with the first rays of the sun came the heat, and you weren’t awoken by the sound of your alarm, it was the heat and stuffy air. When you looked at your phone, it was almost eight in the morning and time for breakfast. You were alone in the tent, Sam and Dean were already up. You got your toothbrush and toothpaste and went to do your business. You couldn't stop thinking about the damn dream. It was too vivid for your own good. The way Dean kissed you with his perfect full lips, Sam’s hands on your hot skin, their moans, groans and big girthy co-
“Good morning, princess,” you heard Dean say as you waited in line to get your breakfast sandwich, still sleepy. He wasn’t a morning person whatsoever so hearing him sound this jolly was strange. 
“Morning,” you didn’t even bother to look at him as you turned around and went to find a place to sit. People were already chatting, having their morning coffees and enjoying the fresh air, while you struggled to exist. It was too early to think, too early to speak and too early to be a human. 
Dean followed you after he poured himself another cup of freshly made black coffee. 
You lazily opened your sandwich from the wrapper and took a first bite; ham, cheese, ketchup, lettuce…usual stuff. It was a little dry for your taste buds, but it wasn’t bad. 
“How did you sleep?” Dean asked, sitting next to you. 
“Like a baby,” You mumbled, chewing. You could feel his eyes on you, as you turned to look at him, he was indeed staring back at you with a little smirk on his face. “What?” 
“Oh I bet you slept real good,” he teased. His deep and raspy voice was too close to your left ear, sending shivers down your spine, all over your body. You ignored it.
“What are you implying, Winchester?” You asked, genuinely confused, not really thinking about…oh. OH! You remembered. The dream. Maybe he heard you mumbling in your sleep. Do I sleep talk? You still played dumb.
“Dream a little dream of me and Sammy, eh?” His smirk was still there, you knew he wasn’t going to let it go. 
“I have no idea what you are talking about.” You replied. “Where’s Sam?” 
“He went Dora the explorer around the park.” 
Sam was both night and day. He enjoyed both darkness and light. The darkness was for reading and the light was for hiking and jogging.
After you finished breakfast, you poured yourself a cup of coffee that was now lukewarm. It still tasted like coffee when it touched your lips and still gave you that kick you needed. 
Dean was still keeping you company for some reason, he was close, too close and kind of getting on your nerves. You had a feeling he wanted to ask you something but swallowed all the words in the English language. You assumed what he was curious about, you just didn’t want to embarrass yourself. We are our egos after all, and in time we learn how to tame that part of ourselves and not let it control us. You weren’t going to blush and get flustered in front of Dean Winchester.
“What’s the plan for today?” You asked. 
“Did you dream about sleeping with me and Sam?” Dean evidently didn’t register your question. And he finally found the words. You choked on your coffee not expecting to be hit with a question. You didn’t expect that kind of question.
“You did!” He said as his face lit up in a second. 
“No, I didn’t.” 
“Yes, you did.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did.” 
He was a child. A man-child. He wasn’t going to let it go, not until you confessed. Sighing in frustration, you calmly put down your coffee-stained mug and looked him in the eyes. They were beautiful, greener than the forest around you.
“I did,” you confessed. 
“Yeah, I know I heard you,” he smiled, showing off his perfect teeth. He was beautiful but you still wanted to punch him in the face. 
“Can I drink my coffee in peace now, please?” 
“Yes, you may, sinner.”
The embarrassment you felt disappeared as soon as you saw Sam coming back from his little, to quote Dean, ‘Dora the Explorer’ adventure, all sweaty and ready for a shower. You weren’t embarrassed, you were horny. 
“Morning!” 
“Morning Sam!” You spoke. 
“Sleep well?” 
“Oh yeah, you bet she did!” Dean told him. You rolled your eyes.
Sam gave him a confused look not getting the joke. He doesn’t know.
“Awful, your brother kept making happy noises all night,” you lied. Figured you would get back at him for being a dick. Dean’s mouth slightly opened. 
“Dude, gross!” Sam’s reaction was more than welcome considering Dean hadn’t stopped annoying you ever since you had a bite of that dry sandwich. Once he left to shower, you turned to his older brother. 
“Don’t fuck with me!”
***
The day was cloudy and cold. Some people were playing board games and listening to music, some were reading their favorite books, while others went to explore the national park. You immersed yourself in the book you were currently reading, while Sam and Dean played Monopoly under the kitchen gazebo that wasn’t just a kitchen, it had a space for everything; space where you could sit and relax, a table, and two couches placed right across each other. A multipurpose gazebo: kitchen, dining room and a living room. Well, Sam was teaching Dean how to play and Dean was losing and cursing every few minutes.
“You were never good with money, Dean!” You chuckled, eyes still on the page you were reading.
“And you’re loud!” He sassed. You lifted your head to look at him and he just gave you a wink. You knew damn well why.
You elected to ignore it. 
Soon enough, it was lunch time: delicious goulash and for dessert, a slice of apple pie. 
“Warrior food!” Dean said, stuffing his mouth. 
He wasn’t wrong. The food was fresh and absolutely delicious. 
“Do you guys want to play volleyball after we eat?” Sam asked. 
“You’re joking?” Dean lifted his eyebrow. “I don’t do sports and I especially don’t do sports after lunch.”
“Grandpa!” You said and told Sam to count you in. 
 A few minutes later, the bald, good-looking dude came to say there was going to be another party, from 7pm to when everybody goes to sleep. He also said there was going to be lots and lots of alcohol considering it was a goodbye party. Dean was excited, you were too busy reading your book and Sam finally bankrupted his older brother. 
You ended up playing volleyball with Sam for almost two hours. He asked the bald guy if they had any volleyballs after lunch and the guy was more than happy to be of service. There was a small chunk of land which they turned into a volleyball court, far away from people who were hanging out around the gazebo and far away from Dean who decided to take a nap after eating too many slices of pie.
“Are you enjoying your birthday so far, Sammy?” You asked as you served him the ball which, he slammed a little too hard and it flew across your head. 
“Oops!” He said with an awkward smile. “Best one so far!” 
“Told you!” You raised your voice going a few steps away from the court to get the ball.
As you were playing and growing tired, you couldn't help but notice how tight his black t-shirt was, perfectly hugging his body as he started to sweat. His hair still a little damp, slick back and tucked behind his ears, his lower lip between his teeth trying to concentrate on the ball in the sky – the man was simply gorgeous. It was hard to concentrate on the damn game when your mind wandered.
How does his lips taste? Does he have a big dick? Probably. The man is huge. FOCUS! 
So many questions and no wins.
After losing 3:0, you decided to take a shower and get ready for the party. You were in the mood to drink and not get nervous around both brothers.
It was getting cold, so after a quick cold shower, you decided to wear your favorite pair of gray sweats and a very old Led Zeppelin hoodie your dad gave you a long time ago.
People already started drinking by the time you finished getting ready. 
"Hey, nice hoodie you got there!" Dean commented as soon as he saw you. One of the things you absolutely adored about Dean was his awesome music taste. You were both old schools. 
"You've seen me in this at least a hundred times Dean!" You chuckled. 
"And every time I'm going to tell you how awesome it is," he said proudly. "Where's Sam?" 
"Showering." 
"Again?" 
"Yeah, you know Dean, after physical activity you get all sweaty and gross," you told him and took a paper cup filled with red wine from the table under the gazebo. Suddenly, the familiar melody of Toxic by Britney Spears blasted through the speakers.
"It was sweaty and gross alright," Dean joked and like always, you rolled your eyes, and took a sip of the wine. It wasn't too sweet and definitely was cheap considering how watered down it was.
***
After three cups, you grabbed your fourth one as your vision started to blur. Your thoughts were scrambled, between being nervous because of Dean's annoying teasing, and not giving a flying fuck about anything and just wanting to let loose, but there was a sense of tranquility in them. You loved the idea of him knowing your dirty thoughts, and you loved even more watching Sam being simultaneously confused and stunning while listening to you two bicker. The alcohol wasn't helping you. The undying need to be in a delicious Winchester sandwich only grew stronger with each sip…
You saw Sam coming from the toilet after the shower and something in you snapped. You swallowed nervously before chugging the rest of the wine and decided to toss all the fucks you had out the window. 
“Hey, handsome!” You said, seeing his face change from content to a little nervous. You'd never called him that. 
“Hey!” Was all he could muster.
“In the mood for a drink?” 
“Sure,” he said. “But only one, and I'm out. I’m tired.” 
“Okie dokie.”
Sam's drink of choice was beer. Dean was somewhere in the crowd, nowhere in your sight. Perfect.
“Cheers!” He said. No matter how big or small his smile was, his dimples would always show on his cheeks and you found it adorable. He was adorable and his lips were much more kissable after almost four cups of wine. 
“Cheers,” you smiled back. “To you Sammy!” 
“I didn't tell you but you're a solid volleyball player.” 
You raised an eyebrow. “A solid player? Really? You won 3:0.” 
“Well, yeah because you're short, and for some reason your focus was nonexistent but your serve was excellent.” 
“I'm short?” You weren't offended by any means, he was in fact much taller than you, but still surprised he said it so bluntly. 
“Short and sweet?” He corrected himself with an awkward smile before taking another sip of his beer. 
“Sweeter than sugar, sugar,” you didn't know where that came from. It sounded kind of lame, you thought, so you quickly changed the subject. “And my focus was nonexistent because of your sorry ass.” You said before playfully tapping him on his shoulder.
“Me?” 
Something about the innocence of that man made you absolutely feral. You had a feeling he wasn't so innocent behind closed doors. The idea of his lips on yours didn't want to leave your mind as your eyes couldn't stop staring at him with pure, drunken adoration. 
“(Y/N)?” 
You wanted to speak but something told you to not use a single word of the English language. Instead, you pulled him by his black hoodie and crashed your lips on his. Surprisingly, he didn't pull away, his body was stiff for a few seconds before letting go and deepening the kiss, making you balance yourself on your tiptoes. You felt him cup your left cheek with his free hand as you bit his lower lip, earning a moan from him. His nose crashed against yours, tasting alcohol mainly from your lips, Sam felt his cock getting hard. It hit him that he was wearing gray sweatpants so naturally that was a sign to pull away. People around you were too busy singing ABBA songs to give a fuck. 
“Well…” Sam said, not knowing where his thoughts were as he instinctively looked down and saw the outline of his cock. “Crap.” 
Your gaze followed and you were happy it did. He was big, bigger than you'd imagined.
"Sammy, is that a gun or you're just happy to see me?” You winked. That was horrible. 
“Shut up,” he sassed back, giving you a bitch face he would always give to Dean.
He covered his groin with his hands, looking around awkwardly to see if anyone was looking. Of course they weren't. Everybody was either drunk or high or both. 
Suddenly Sam's gaze was fixed behind you as he visibly clenched his jaw. You turned around and of course it was Dean.
“Oh there you are!” You said with enthusiasm and kissed him, pulling him closer by his jacket. 
Sam was stunned, while you could feel Dean smiling before kissing you back and letting you put your tongue in his mouth. You wrapped your arms around his neck and enjoyed the softness of his puffy lips on yours. He was a lot gentler than Sam – more innocence but still the same amount of passion. 
When you finally broke away, your drunk self just mumbled, “You two are irresistible.” 
Sam was still visibly confused while Dean couldn't stop smiling. 
252 notes · View notes
whyse7vn · 9 months
Text
THE OTHER WOMAN -
[ ot7 x reader ]
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tan 😰
8 participants - 8 online
———————————
tae: why did the the whole world get to see where yoongi’s tattoo was before me
jk: rumour has it that he doesn’t like you
yoongi: i do not like you
tae: it’s not good to believe all rumours jungkook
jk: ur right sorry
yoongi: i said i do not like you
tae: who are you taking to???
yoongi: nvm bye
y/n: how did you not know where the tattoo was??
tae: he didn’t tell me?
yoongi: you never asked
tae: i shouldn’t have to ask
yoongi: shut the fuck up
jimin: omg???
hobi: by newjeans?
y/n: anyways i need advice
hobi: by taemin?
jimin: WHERE?????????????????
y/n: but i need you all not to be weird about it
tae: daddy is here 4 u
namjoon: tae wtf
jin: clearly that’s asking a lot
jk: i’m a great advice giver
yoongi: you have never given advice in ur life
jimin: why would we be weird about it?
y/n: i’m going on a date
jk: WHAT
yoongi: oh?
jin: finally
jimin: congrats
tae: no ur not wtf
hobi: okayyyyyy
namjoon: nice!
jimin: stop talking like that
namjoon: who?
jimin: NiCe 🤓👍🏻
hobi: aju nice?
namjoon: i don’t see the issue
jimin: never say that shit again
jk: IS THIS SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE
tae: i rebuke this devil
hobi: devil by the window by txt
jin: IT’S WITH MINGYU ISN’T IT OH MY GOD IM SO SMART THATS WHY HES BEEN AROUND SO MUCH OH MY GOD
jimin: that’s crazy jungkook isn’t he ur bff
jk: SHE NEVER SAID IT WAS WITH HIM DONT BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ
tae: guys it’s time i fess up
it’s me
y/n: never lie like that again
tae: don’t tell me it’s actually that rat
y/n: rat???
jimin: it’s so him omg
hobi: aju nice fr wow
jk: SAY THIS IS A JOKE OH MG GOD PLS PLS LLS PLS PLS
y/n: it’s a joke
jk: see lol knew it lol that was so funny my goddddd loll WOW LOL UR SO FUNNY OHBMY GODDD😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
tae: mingyu kills people he’s a real bad guy trust me
y/n: maybe i’m into that
jin: omg she’s a freak guys
that’s kinda hot
hmu when ur done with him lol
yoongi: get a grip
jk: I NEED A CIGARETTE
jimin: ew
hobi: smoking kills!!!
namjoon: what did you need advice about anyways?
jk: MY ADVICE IS DONT GO
y/n: doesn’t matter
i realised that asking you guys for advice is the worst idea i’ve ever had
tae: i say you take all his money then shoot him
jimin: tae are you still broke be honest
tae: shut the fuck up???
jimin: get ur money the fuck up???
namjoon: enough
hobi: that was so elsa of you joon
enough anna I SAID ENOUGH🫸🏻❄️👩🏼‍🦰➡️🥶
yoongi: what
hobi: i think i’m depressed
y/n: i’ll kiss it better
tae: WHORE??????
HELLOOOOOO
SOMEONE TELL MINGYU THE DATE IS CANCELLED
CUT THE CAMERAS BLOCK HIS NUMBER SHOOT HIM UP
jin: ur severely troubled
jk: tbis is what heart break feljsl like….
jimin: he’s drunk already???
jk: the other womajn 💔
hobi: mingyu is a man
jk: *tjhw otjker maynne 💔
jimin: jungkook is bilingual since when??
hobi: what language was that?
y/n: jungkook are you crying???
jk: njever?????
yoongi: ur gross
tae: real men cry
and then shoot up other men called mingyu
right jungkook???
jk: iwnag to killl nyself
y/n: i won’t go
yoongi: wtf no?
y/n: you want me to go??
yoongi: that’s not what i said
jin: he’s upset that ur gonna cancel on mingyu for jungkook and not him
wow i’m just on a roll today
tae: what about me
hobi: what about you???
tae: if you want to fight just say that
i’m ready
hobi: i want you gone
tae: in what context?
hobi: life????
jimin: AWOMANNNNNNN
namjoon: guys if we were actually nice to each other everyone could actually be happy in life
tae: i wish nothing but the worst for you
hobi: that would upset adele
jimin: who????
hobi: i wish nothing but the best for youuuuuuuuuuuuuu
jimin: ???
hobi: kys
jimin: wtf
hobi: sorry the voices take over sometimes
y/n: taes schizophrenia takes another victim yet again
tae: my what?
y/n: i’m a born singer 💜💜💜
yoongi: are you really not going because of jungkook??
y/n: oh
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm
jk: ple😰😭😕😢
jimin: i say go
fuck yoongi fuck jungkook and definitely fuck tae!
tae: i would NEVER sleep with you
jimin: ur actually the dumbest person i’ve met
yoongi: she’s done that already
tae: ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
jk: NONONONONINONONONONONONI
hobi: sighs when will we see peace in the gc?
y/n: you did not just type “sighs”
hobi: sighs again i did and ur gonna deal with it
y/n: you make me heave
hobi: sighs for the last time boys heave when they talk to you
i’m heaving!
jin: tf is wrong with hoseok today??
hobi: the voices
yoongi: are you avoiding my question
tae: no?
yoongi: i am not taking to you
tae: ok make that clear next time wtf
yoongi: why would i ever need to talk to you???
tae: i think yoongi’s on his period guys
namjoon: you are actually asking to get beat up tae
and i am not helping you this time
tae: literally came out the womb swinging try me bitch
jk: i’m sjookso sad i can’t take thjids sigk lifeanymore
jimin: me when i’m illiterate and ugly
jk: i’m not ugly
jimin: so now you can spell?
jin: you must be ugly cuz how tf the girl you been chasing ur whole life going on a date with your best friend she’s known for like a few months 💀💀
y/n: i’ve known mingyu for way more than a few months what the hell
jk: OH MY GEJDOEENEJEJJEJE
GOADFAFDDDFFGAGAGAHSAHAJSJSHSSJSJZJSJSJSSJXHSJZJZHahjsshyshzgzhzhzhzhzhzzhHhaHzhzhzhzhzhBHbahababahzhshzhshshshshshshsgzhshshshshshshshshzzhshhzhhsh!/.£))/)/)/)>\>\>\\>\>>)/)/)6/)-71£-/).)/)/))/)/£..£
namjoon: he’ll get over it
jk: KILL MESHSJJSJSJSJSJSDJJSJEJEJEJDJJDJDJDJCNNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN/£:£:££:!:!;£;!;£:£;£;!;!;!;£;!;£;£,!,’xnznn-&2&2873&:&:&2&:&&2&:&&:/&£2&2&2&/&/£:£:£:!.!!,!!,!,!!!!!!!!!najsjsjsjsjjsjdjdjdjjdjjj&&.£££.£:!!.’dnsndjsjsjdidjdisiwjsjsjsjakxkxkjjdjdjdjjxjdjxj
namjoon: i hope
hobi: jhope?
jin: this is real sad i’m just saying
tae: tell me about it
ik ur going out with mingyu out of pity but you can’t give a guy false hope like
that yk?
jin: why in ur right mind would you ever think i’m agreeing with YOU?
tae: excuse me??
be on the right side of history jin
jimin: you should of died at birth or something
tae: i told you i came out swinging there is no way death could of taken me
i’m above it
y/n: ur above death?
tae: yeah why???
u think it’s hot?
jk: weLL IM NOT ABOVE IT AT ALL AND IM ABOUT TO KMS
jimin: thank god
yoongi: get a fucking grip
tae: yoongi square up
yoongi: fuck off
tae: you all witnessed it yoongi backed down
he shook in fear as the mighty kim taehyung raised his fist in rage
hobi: i feel empty
y/n: hobi are you ok?
hobi: are we about to kiss rn?
tae: TELL MINGYU AGAIN
GET THE SS
THIS ISNT ON
sHES A SLUTTTT
namjoon: tae shut up
like actually
tae: :(
jk: NAMJOON TELL HER
jimin: here we go
namjoon: ???
jk: PUT UR FOOT DOWN AS LEADER
SHE CANT GO TELL HER
NO DATING UNTIL SHES 30
namjoon: she’s a grown woman she can do what she wants
hobi: namjoon feminist president
jin: real
jk: UR NO LONGER COOL
AND U SHOULD OF NEVRF BEEN OUR LEADER
YOU LACK LEADERSHIP SKILLS
AND UR BALD NOW
FOR SOME REASON
U NASTY BALD MAN
I HATE YOU I HATE YOUUUUUUUUSHHSJDNX
y/n: i felt bad
but now i no longer do
i’m going
jimin: feminism on the riseeeee
kill all men!!!
hobi: ur a man?
jin: barely
jimin: do not fucking start with me you old hag
jin: OLD HAG???
jimin: YEAH GLAD YOU CAN READ
namjoon: sighs
hobi: it really frees ur emotions doesn’t it joon?
namjoon: yeah
sighs
jin: DONT BE MAD CUZ UR SCRAPING 5’4
jimin: EXCUSE ME???????
tae: i blame mingyu for all of this
yoongi: do you ever shut the fuck up???
tae: i was quite for a whole 5 minutes?
namjoon: sighs
jk: SO UR TELLING ME SHES GOING ON THJS DATE FOR REAL LIKE NO JOKE REAL LIFE??????????
hobi: wish i was super tuna jin rn
y/n: you guys are like bugs no matter how many times i step on you
you don’t die
namjoon: SIGHS
602 notes · View notes
cherryheartssblog · 2 months
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SECRET ADMIRER
Summary: Y/N’s family is a wealthy family, her parents snub up their noses to a lot of people. When throwing a party, Y/N soon figured out she has a secret admirer, that her parents would never approve of.
Warnings: 18+, smut, wealthy family!, higher class neighborhood families!, country clubs!, fake business!, age gap (reader is in her early 20s, Joel is in forties), drinking!, readers curves are mentioned!, daddy kink! daddy issues, slight! mommy issues!, rough sex, reader is in college!, readers parents are snobs!, spanking!, pet names (sweetheart, my girl, etc.), daddy kink!, choking!, dirty talk!, domjoel!, joel calls reader slut!, public sex!(kind of), talks of spoiled reader!, mentions of divorce!, Joel has no kids!, cursing!, little angst!, rich! Joel, praise kink!, crying!,body shaming (if you squint), readers parents are assholes!, mentions of sugar daddies!, reader is girly!, reader wears dresses and girly clothing!, parents do not like Joel!, doggy style! (beside a mirror)- just wait, and not fully edited.
A/N: I have only wrote a Joel miller one shot once. So I’m trying again, a little bit more deeper. I do hope you enjoy! PLEASE tell me if I missed any warnings/ need to add them nicely! I’m trying to get better with them! THANK you so much and I’m so thankful for you all💝😭!!
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Could this be any more depressing?
Y/N sunglasses perched atop her nose. Her tennis skirt, adorned with a matching polo, tastefully covered her mid-thigh, Out from the patio, her father's buddies could be seen sipping their beers and playing golf at her parents' exclusive country club.
Y/N and her mother were seated at a comfortable distance from the patio of the country club, accompanied by their friends. They were indulging in a delightful brunch and sipping on mimosas to enhance their experience. The clinking of glasses and laughter filled the air as they chatted away, oblivious to their surroundings.
Oh, this was depressing.
Y/N sat at the dinner table, pushing her food around her plate with her fork. Her sunglasses covered her eyes, but now and then, she couldn't resist stealing a glance at the man sitting across from her. He was a frequent visitor to their home and a country club member. He is always ready with a kind word and a helping hand to Y/N. However, Y/N knew that her father despised him. Whenever they were back home, her father would rant about the man who lived just a few houses down the street. Y/N couldn't help but wonder when her father's hatred had begun and what he saw in the man that she couldn't.
Joel fucking Miller.
He was older than her, and maybe she was drawn to that. He was a beautiful older male, and she could not help but take a second glance when he moved in a couple of years ago. Y/N was at home for college for the summer, and this older man came by in an older truck after being invited to a barbecue that her parents still could not shut up about to this day.
If he has money, he needs a better car.
No wonder his wife left him.
Y/N's parents were not always kind to him. However, once they discovered he was a skilled mechanic with a successful business in town and their precious white Cadillac was not running, they started to warm up to him, even if it wasn't genuine. Y/N's parents were known to be fake and gossip behind people's backs. Despite their rocky relationship, Y/N loved her parents because they gave her everything she wanted. She was spoiled and had a large room upstairs in their house, as well as her room at the country club.
Y/N parents were having their wedding anniversary celebration. Her mother had meticulously planned an elegant and formal party, which was exactly what she had envisioned. Y/N's father, on the other hand, would have preferred to keep it simple. However, he knew how much this occasion meant to his wife, so he agreed to follow her plans. Y/N was well aware that her father would have done the same for her if she had played the perfect daughter role, just like her mother expected her to.
Y/N’s trance was broken, her eyes shifting from the attractive older male in a darker polo with shorts. Why does this man look good in shorts? Y/N tried to maintain a smile with her mother, her eyes being covered with shades. “Are you going to eat, dear?” Her mother picked up fruit, her mothers friends eyes shifted to her. Her mothers three closest friends, were worse than her mom to say the least.
Maybe they rubbed off on her.
Y/N’s mother's attitude could switch with any of them in any moment. The younger woman’s reddened face was luckily covered, pushing her shades up. “Yes, Mother, just not too hungry this morning.” Y/N was not lying, and she could not get an appetite. Her mind was wandering, and her eyes could not move from Joel.
He swung his golf club repeatedly, practicing his hit while Y/N’s father played his shot. From what Y/N could see of the game, Joel was at least beating her father. Y/N wondered if her father was jealous of this man; maybe that's where his hatred came from. She could have swore his eyes would move to her stares, maybe gawking at her. Y/N knew she was too far away where he would notice her stares, but she could still see his perfect features.
His hair was longer, curler. Joel had his own pair of shades, grabbing another beer from the cooler on the golf cart. Y/N’s eyes would shift back and forth to her plate, slowly saying the food on her plate.
“Don't wanna overeat, love,” one of her mother's friends opened up, “Still have to fit in that dress in a couple of days.” She playfully sent a wink to Y/N while the four of them giggled right in front of her. Y/N shifted uncomfortably; she fought the water behind her eyes that wanted to escape. Her mother even shrugged it off with a laugh, giving Y/N a few fruit pieces.
“Here sweetie, eat fruit.”
Y/N could only nod, desperately wanting to leave the table. She came home for the summer, she hoped this summer would be better than the rest. She might have been better off going with her friends on their beach trip. But Joel could be an escape for her.
He was an escape, but Y/N wanted more. She knew she needed more, she craved more. When Joel moved in a couple years ago, becoming a member of the country club he took a liking in to woman. She was different than her parents, she seemed like sweet angel. Joel had been lonely for awhile, being married to his work ratber than looking for love.
Joel couldn't shake off the regret that had been gnawing at him ever since his ex-wife left him. Deep down, he knew it was because he didn't give her the attention she deserved. He had taken her love for granted, assuming that she would always be there for him. But as things turned out, she had reached her breaking point and left him.
From that day on, Joel promised he would never make the same mistake again. He was determined to treat his next partner like a queen, giving her all the attention and love she deserved. And then he met Y/N.
At first, he couldn't believe someone as young and beautiful as her would be interested in him. But as they got to know each other better, Joel realized that Y/N maybe shared the same interest in him. He saw in her the perfect partner he had been searching for, and he was ready to give his all to her.
Y/N finally managed to excuse herself from the table and went to the bathroom. She quickly pulled her shades up and tucked them into her hair, hoping her eyes didn't betray her emotions. Despite her efforts to keep it together, tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. She couldn't help feeling foolish for letting her guard down and allowing herself to be hurt. The urge to cry was so overwhelming that she had to bite her lip to keep from breaking down completely.
The woman's bathroom was luckily empty; she locked it behind her, covering her face instantly. No tears fell; she just kept breathing in and out. Y/N considered going to her room; she did not want her mother's friends to win. She went over to the tall mirrors; lights shined behind them.
In the mirror, Y/N saw a few mascara smears cleaning her face a bit. Having her purse in hand, she grabbed for makeup powder to cover up any spots she may have made. Gathering herself together, she got back out of the bathroom in the lobby. Y/N closed up her purse, bumping straight into a taller figure. Feeling hands gripping her, she made eye contact with no other than Joel.
His eyes sparked, meeting hers; Y/N gasped, feeling his grip tighten on her arms. “Woah, hun.” Joel drawled, a smile plastering his face, “I was just thinkin’ of ya.” His hands moving from her, Y/N blushed, trying to gather herself. Her own eyes could not move from his; she gave him a warm smile.
“Thinkin’ of little ole’ me?” Y/N teased, perking up a little bit. Joel's eyes shifted up her bare legs to the pink polo with two buttons open, exposing her chest. She looked so perfect; Joel knew he would worship her body if he ever could have her. His mouth parted, his smirk growing, watching the younger woman bite her lip. Y/N’s teeth dug deeper into her lips than could draw blood, not caring about the eyes that could be on them.
“Oh, any man would be crazy not to think of you, sugar.” Joel’s southern accent drawled out, sending shivers down Y/N’s spine. He was making her speechless and trying to maintain her confidence, gazing around her to see if any eyes moved their way.
“Are you trying to flirt with me, Mr. Miller?” Y/N’s curiosity rose; her father's voice broke Joel and her time.
Y/N's father chuckled warmly as he stood beside his daughter. The man's eyes followed Joel's movements, but he soon shook it off and turned to meet his daughter's gaze. "There's my angel," he said affectionately. "Your mother is looking for you, and she invited you on the shopping trip." Y/N smiled gracefully and exchanged some words with her father. Joel observed her curiously, noticing how her eyes sparkled as she talked to her dad. However, when Y/N's father walked away, Joel's demeanor changed. He grabbed her roughly and pulled her back to him, causing Y/N's stomach to drop as she saw his previously lighter eyes grow darker.
Y/N’s father is too far to notice back out to the open patio of Joel's hands on his daughter. Y/N gasped out, her knees bending down keeping her from falling. Joel’s grip was strong and he would not let Y/N fall.
“What you been cryin’ about?”
How the hell did he know?
Y/N's jaw dropped in disbelief, eagerly awaiting her response. His eyebrow lifted in anticipation, while his eyes narrowed in a curious 'hm' when she remained silent. Without saying a word, he motioned for her to follow him outside, leaving her stunned. Her breathing was increased, and tension still filled the air for her.
Joel was one of her father's enemies. And she wanted to fuck him, and she wanted more than just that. Joel kept giving her the same vibe as well. Y/N wanted the older male, all her thoughts and dreams consumed by him.
He is just a friend.
Y/N tried to tell herself that.
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The dress was unbelievably tight, keeping modesty for the occasion; the dress was long, hugging Y/N’s curves. Y/N spent her time trying to escape from her parent's friends, listening to them gossip all about each other.
Y/N let out a deep groan of frustration and signaled the bartender for another drink at the open bar. The overly formal ambiance and the sound of the classical music made her feel nauseous and uneasy. She had lost track of her parents and had not seen them since the speeches a couple of hours ago. As the bartender began to make her drink, she watched intently, observing each step of the process with intense focus.
Y/N savored the salty taste of the olive before gulping down the drink like a parched desert traveler. Sitting alone at the bar, she contemplated leaving early to indulge in the tub and cozy up in bed. The alcohol was starting to kick in, and the bartender slid a napkin towards her.
The bartender, an older woman with a friendly smile, approached Y/N with a small slip of paper. "A man told me to give this to you and buy you a drink as well," she said, gesturing towards the note. Y/N's curiosity was piqued as she took the slip of paper, her eyebrows furrowing slightly as she read the few words scrawled on it. "Seems like you got a secret admirer," the bartender remarked with a chuckle, noticing Y/N's puzzled expression.
meet me upstairs @ 11.
Y/N's mind wandered briefly, “I'll make you that other drink, dear.” The older woman took her glass, chucking momentarily, “Seems like a good one to me.” Y/N smiled, holding the napkin, waiting for the drink this mysterious man bought for her. Her eyes scanned around her, her thoughts making her blush.
She hoped and leaned towards it being Joel, but she had not even seen him at the party. Maybe he decided not to come? I mean he did not owe her to come, Joel barley liked her parents. Y/N glanced down at her watch, in been couple hours since the party had started.
10:42PM
Y/N's heart raced as she contemplated whether or not to meet the mysterious man waiting for her upstairs. The exclusive parties had strict security measures in place, but she was confident that she could slip past unnoticed. Only she and her parents had unrestricted access to the upper floors, yet this stranger had somehow found a way to reach her. The thrill of the unknown pulsed through her veins as she considered the possibilities.
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11:01PM
Y/N walked anxiously down the hallway, having convinced the security to leave her alone by pretending to retreat to her bedroom. She paced back and forth, biting her nails as she waited for someone to emerge from around the corner. Eventually, she heard footsteps growing closer and stopped, anticipating the stranger's arrival.
The anticipation built up inside her as the footsteps drew closer. Y/N's eyes were glued to the man dressed in all black, with a crisp white shirt tucked into his tight pants. Even before locking eyes with him, Y/N knew exactly who it was. He leaned against the wall with a lit cigarette hanging off his lips, his free hand casually tucked into his pocket. He observed the young woman standing before him, and the air was charged with excitement and tension.
“Well, look what the cat dragged in.” Y/N faked her confidence; her mother always said, ‘Fake it til you make it.’ The woman's eyes scanned over him. She felt like she could undress him with her eyes. The cigarette on his lips made him hotter in that suit he wore. She never thought she'd see Joel Miller wear a suit. But, God did he look good in that suit. Y/N eyes met back up with his, puffing out smoke.
“Y’know, we have a no smoking rule.” Y/N teased, walking closer to him. Joel stayed in place, not moving an inch, letting her draw closer to him. When meeting up with him, she grabbed the cigarette from his mouth. Standing on her tiptoes to reach his height, he smirked, watching down at her. Y/N brought it to her lips, slightly puffing, blowing a small cloud. Joel’s face twitched, his hands wrapped around her throat, pushing her against the wall behind her.
“You just broke one of the rules,” Joel growled, the tension angering him more. His nose pressed against her cheek, his hand gripping her throat. Y/N whimpered; her eyes stayed closed, listening to his voice. “I've broken a lot of rules, Joel,” Y/N admitted; she breathed out, fighting the grip he had around her throat. Joel still pressed against her, and Y/N felt his member grow pressed against her, “Guess you'll have to punish me.”
Joel groaned out, grabbing her face and forcing Y/N to look at him. Her cheeks squished underneath his rough hands. Y/N felt her underwear grow wet, her thighs wanting to rub together. She craved this older man for so long, Y/N moaned out, melted underneath his touch. “Where's your room, baby?” Y/N’s legs could go weak by his words, and she could only point. He was quick to have her off the floor, wrapped around him, pushing her into her room, slamming her against the door that slammed it shut.
His kiss was rough and hungry against her lips.
Joel’s cock strained against his already tight pants as he stood amazed by her. Trailing kisses down her exposed chest, his hands sneaking up her dress. He swallowed as Y/N held on to the door behind her. Y/N arched her back, moaning out, digging her hands into his hair. Her hands messed up his hair, and the mirror attached to the door was becoming stained with fingerprints.
“Didn’t think you’d be into an old man like me,” he said with a chuckle. Joel pulled her bottom lip between his teeth, making her gasp. He moved them to the nearest wall, having them perfectly angled to the mirror that he just had her pressed against. Y/N unbuttoned his shirt. His hands unzipped to move her dress off of her.
“You're not old, Joel,” Y/N assured him, sending him a surge of confidence, “Besides, I like older guys.” Joel chuckled at her comment, turning her back to face him. Her face pressed against the wall; she glanced up at the mirror.
She looked rough.
Her hair was a mess, and her cheeks were stained red. Y/N dress was now on her bedroom floor, Joel fighting with his belt and with his other free hand using it to have it wrapped around her throat. Pressing her against his own body, she moaned out, feeling his bare, warm body. Y/N pushed back on him, feeling his tip tease her entrance.
His laugh was dark; Joel gripped her chin, turning her to make herself look in the mirror once more. “Look at how pretty you are,” Joel murmured, his southern accent thicker as he thrust into her without warning. Y/N felt herself stretch open, watching them in the mirror beside them as she gripped the wall she was against.
“You’re just daddy’s slut aren’t you.” Joel gripped her throat tighter, which turned her on even more. He slapped her ass, causing her to whimper out, “Better be quiet; don't want your family to figure out how much of a slut you are.”
Y/N’s breaths were heavy, his free fingers strumming over the swollen bump of her clit, pulling moans from her throat. A smirk grew on his face at her desperate expression. His breathing matched hers as his thrusts got sloppier. Y/N’s body was tense, her hands falling behind him, pulling on his curls. “Relax, sweetheart.” Joel’s big hand slid up and down her curved spine.
Their bodies became sweaty, sticking together Y/N could feel herself get closer as he sped up on her clit. She could hardly breathe, she had never taken a cock this big, but she was too impatient to wait for him to stretch her out on his fingers. Y/N was whining and moaning as his hands clenched against her throat, keeping her looking in the mirror.
“You're mine; I'll be whatever you want me to be, baby,” Joel groaned, moaning out in pleasure himself, “Hell, I'll be your sugar daddy.” Y/N felt sweat drip down her forehead, letting out a laugh croaking out with a moan behind it. Her hand rested on his shoulders, feeling that familiar feeling grows in her stomach.
“So fucking tight, sweetheart,” Joel said, his voice muffled as his mouth pressed against her neck. Each thrust coaxed a gasp from her; she had her nails digging into the fabric of the wall. Y/N’s vision was blurry from the overwhelming tears brimming her eyes. “Come around, my cock,” Joel commanded, his words making everything intensify.
“Oh god, Daddy,” she gasped, shaking head to toe. “Joel, I’m—yes, yes, yes-.” Joel was not far behind her, her eyes watching him cum inside her. Joel's lips drug down her cheek, releasing his load into her.
Tears stained her cheeks as he turned her to face him, wiping them away. “That's the only time you need to cry, my girl.” Joel kissed the top of her forehead, clearly out of breath, still holding her up. Her legs were like jello getting over to her bed, cuddling beside Joel underneath the thick sheets.
“My parents would kill you if they figured this out.” Y/N laughed out, which warmed his chest as she laid there. His arms wrapped around her, running his fingers through her hair, sharing a laugh.
“Be glad I don't kill your parents for makin’ you cry like that.” Y/N knew Joel knew that day she had cried. She locked eyes with him briefly, and he tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear. Y/N still rested on his chest, her nails gently rubbing up and down.
“Guess I got my Secret admirer to take care of me.”
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pageofheartdj · 3 months
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All jokes and horny aside(I do love horny and specific position only🙏 and them fighting over everything always ever and ooc fun scenarious) radioapple are so interesting to think about, about their dynamics, and the characters in general. So I will!
As they are in canon now, Lucifer did not care for Alastor plus the general disgust(and guilt) towards sinners. And then the song happened and Alastor became Lucifer's enemy number one xD If Alastor will drop it, Lucifer won't have a reason to hate on him, but initial negative imperssion is still there.
And Alastor, he is a mysterious guy. The abusive dad is still a theory, him being momma boy and therefore connecting with women better doesn't say anything about his dad situation. The Lilith's deal is also just a theory for now. So for me his immediate negative reaction comes from the same place as his annoyance at Carmilla disregarding him. He wants to be on the top, the most unknown, the most powerful one, the most scary one. He loves attention, he loves keeping everyone alert with his antics.
And he loves being in control, his plans going exactly the way he wants them, not that he can't improvise. He immediately tenses when he sees the sign welcoming dad, he knows. The King of Hell has the ultimate power, the ultimate influence, the ultimate importance. Alastor does not mind someone being more than him in something like he is politely neutral with Zestial. But the hotel carries importance for Alastor's plans so he feels threatened. Before with Charlie's daddy issues I guess he did not expect to see him anytime soon. But here he is, threatening to pull Charlie from his influence, from her needing his powers.
But then we see him being completely chill and not antagonistic at all. One of the reasons I think is that he let his stim out, for a reason being restricted in his activities, the deals he can make, the souls he can take, the kills. And because Charlie needed Lucifer to arrange a meeting with Heaven, something that only Lucifer can do. And that's it. So he lets go for a bit.
Who knows what dynamic season 2 will bring, now that Lucifer stays at the hotel and Alastor took a hard blow at his ego and reputation.
In the wiki it is stated Alastor dislikes people who are like him, but likes people who are more like him, but who knows where is this line. He also said to like Willy Wonka character for being an entertainer and a dick. And Lucifer was told to be like that character. For now Lucifer is a depressed sad baby, but we saw how he can be when he is fucking with others. Alastor likes fun, no matter how this fun is done. Potentially he can enjoy Lucifer's presence. Not to mention, he respects power, at least when the whatever deal with Alastor is done, potentially.
Don't know how prevalent this is now, but both seem to enjoy collecting certain things, like ducks and those firby toys. Both were drawn to dance-vibe with each other.
Speaking of, both love music and play instruments, they can totally jam with each other, making their own little concerts.
Lucifer's idea of sinners will be definetely challenged with Alastor. It's one thing to meet a nice sinner and think 'ah they are not like everyone else'. But it's a completely different thing when this sinner is exactly what you hate about them, the maniac who loves violence. And then you have to come to terms that even THEY can become better, can have something to them. Lucifer drowned himself in guilt and shame, it would be nice to get a bit in touch with people in Hell. Because it seems like he stays away from most things sinners bring with themselves.
Alastor was told to like theatres, so it would be nice for them to go together, to try and see something good from humanity even in Hell. Something that can still keep not being corrupted. And humans creativity and artistism can definetely spark more hope back to Lucifer.
And I think Lucifer would appreciate someone who treats him as equal, it doesn't look like he cares much about being a King, so having someone who will not shy away at punching first can be good.
Lucifer's main support of course would be Charlie(and hopefully hotel crew), but having someone who he can rely to get things actually done is pleasant. He is a King of Hell but he doesn't often act like one, he surely will benefit from someone who can act appropriately spooky. (He can get scary, but I think he needs to get MAD mad for this side of him to appear and at that point you better have Charlie around to calm him down)
And they have to keep the beef part of their interactions, it's just fun to have someone you can freely argue with with no hard feelings afterwards, just a battle of words, their interests don't always aligning. And it's fun to mindlessly banter about them. Like their sweet and bitter food preference, or cooking techniques, etc. Small irrelevant things, or maybe even some clash of ideals, but it is oh so fun to let yourself go lose and not hold back.
It would be nice for them to develop mutual respect and learn to care about each other's boundaries, be it the painful personal history, or choices of leading the relationship.
Yes, the aroace situation. Start with simple, I do not believe Lucifer is straight(nor NT xD) and he is perfectly sex-positive(he started with no experience and no shame either xD). He is more on a demi spectrum for me, getting excitedly horny only with close people(one-times can happen, it's a grey(literally) area). And Alastor... he is touch-aversed until you are close, then the touching is required(both gentle and playful and rough, depending if he wants to sooth himself or get energised or let the stim out). The same with the bed situation. He gets attracted long after all the other bonds are formed. He is sex-indifferent, never wanted with anyone so never went there. He is perfectly content with himself. And when it starts, yet again, depending on what it feels like in the moment.(cannibalism was not the only thing he grew to like in Hell(¬‿¬))
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sampsonstorm-critical · 3 months
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So. I DID watch Hazbin Hotel. And oh boy. So I'm going to give my critique on the show.
"antagonists and supporting" Characters- A bit better than Helluva. Studio oversight curbed some stuff. The characters somewhat had their own personalities in their dialogue. Some characters I thought could be cut out. I'm sorry but Sir Pentious is one of them. He's too cartoony even for this universe. He's annoying on the level jar jar binx was in star wars. Same with Mimzy. I think they could've done much better with Adam, but they just made him a dude bro? I did like the Seraphim sisters. Lute was just a bitchy, cynical, anime antagonist. Nifty was a bit aggravating too on the same level as Sir Pentious. I liked Husk as a character. Lucifer being a crushed dreamer fallen angel was actually interesting however his take on his people that he rules? Now if he was actively choosing to punish them himself using hells tools, it would be one thing? But he just has depression??? I guess? After thousands of years? Instead of trying to reconnect with his daughter, he just Mopes??? Like a sad boy??? No. Sorry. You lost me. Cherry Bomb? Meh. She's pretty shallowly written.
Now!
Main Characters -
Charlie- I hate her. I hate how fucking useless she is. She's the main protagonist for fucks sake. Now if she started like this and actually got better as the story went along in season 1, then alright. But she just gets her ass kicked and daddy has to save her skin. Way to take away her independence as a character.
Vaggie- I like Vaggies premise, but I hate the way her arc is executed. And the fact that she lets Lute live??? I'm sorry? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! No way. No how. Someone like her from a military background, or hells backdrop would let someone as callous as Lute live.
Alastor - he's my favorite character but, it's not his show. And it feels like it is. I love Alastor, he's the only entertainment I get from this show for the most part.
Angel - he's a characature. He is a walking stereotype. I know many people like him including the hypersexuality. Angel dust unless written for plot specific purposes only, is a very selfish unredeemable person. I'm sorry. He's being raped, and he still sexually harasses other people, knowing how it makes him feel? Now this would be great if we weren't supposed to feel bad for him right away, because it would show how abused can become abusers even if they don't mean too. And that could've been part of his arc to becoming a better person. But no.
The Vs - I like Vox. He's written to be genuinely manipulative, charismatic, and intimidating. I like Velvet too. I wish we knew anything about her. Valentino is written to be a villain, but some of his more childish moments are a bit of a movie mood killer.
On to the show as a whole.
So the most hated part of HH. Episode 4s infamous sexual assault scene. - I actually think it was very raw. It was done in an artistic taste. And I DEFINITELY think that if it wasn't taken from a SA fetishizer, it would've sat with me better. I understand what they were portraying and as someone who's had friends, gay men from the aids crisis era who have been SA, I see it but it's not done well. The only instance it's done well is when Angel is shown in the studio with Valentino especially when he tells Charlie to leave.
The build up and pay off issue - the music for the most part was good. OUT OF CONTEXT. I. Context it pays off without building up the conflict. It just resolves immediately. And these aren't Saturday morning cartoon conflicts. These are deep seeded emotional traumas between people. They don't resolve within one episode. These types of conflicts should resolve in 3 part episodes to 1 season. Yet again the Helluva problem shows up. Setting up too many character arcs and plotlines that cannot be properly resolved in the time span.
The finally- it was. Hot. Garbage. What the fuck was Charlie wearing to fight???? What the fuck???? Seriously???? And Angel???? In his booty shorts??? And we're supposed to take the extermination seriously??? HA! No. I do like in the episodes leading up to the finally, where Charlie and Emily rise against Heaven. I think they should have kept going with that moment in the song "If hell is forever, then Heaven must be a lie". It was very powerful and undermined immediately with "the big reveal!" Yuck. And don't even get me started on how NIFTY is the one who killed ADAM! SERIOUSLY? I think it was actually cool to see Alastor get HIS shit kicked in and see him crack under the pressure for once. I DO NOT like how Charlie's daddy had to come and fight her battles especially seeling as how he could do it the whole fucking time for thousands of years????!
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delicate-moon-princess · 10 months
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that last ask has me thinking about soft daddy Henry who cares so much about your mental health. I have adhd (not bad but it’s there) and I really struggle with depression and anxiety in the wrong environment. I can just see daddy!Henry mode activated if you went to a party you didn’t know would be so loud and chaotic. He has you lean against a corner and breathe in sync with him, uses his charm to find a perfect excuse to leave. You’re all “I’ll be okay, we don’t have to go,” and he just gives you that daddy look like he can’t believe you would downplay your needs like that, and he low (high) key wants to spank you for it. And then he cuddles you all night long. But then if you get depressed (maybe you’re PMSing, maybe someone said something that triggered a bad thought cycle), he runs you a bubble bath and pours you a glass of wine and rubs your shoulders and snuggles you through your favorite Disney movie. And goodness help them, if someone did say something negative to you, but he would spend the night making you fall apart on his fingers and tongue until you forgot all about that silly person 🤭
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(Henry is a big protective bear in this one, so a gif of Walter had to be used obviously.)
 Overwhelmed
A party gets out of hand when some harsh words are thrown around. Henry is there to pick up the pieces, but it’s not always so easy healing your broken mind. (Based on this original ask)
Warning: 18+ smutty content, RPF, minor alcohol consumption, bullying, minor violence, bad thoughts and self image, mental health issues, panic attacks, comfort, daddy kink (not exactly dd/lg, but could have undertones), oral (f receiving), Henry being a gentleman and expecting nothing in return 🤭, multiple orgasms
5.1k words
Any typos are my own
******
This was supposed to be a small get together. That’s what you were told. A plan for a few friends to gather for a couple drinks at home. Maybe you would play some board games.
But a few people quickly turned into loads. And a couple drinks was soon an incessant river of alcohol. Now you found yourself stuck in the middle of a jumping house party.
At least thirty sweaty bodies were packed into the mediocre sized home. And new faces seemed to be showing up every minute. And the only person you knew in this place, Henry, had left to go get you some water when he saw you start to panic. 
This definitely wasn’t your kind of crowd.
Miraculously, he had found a quiet corner for you to wait in. So that is where you waited for him, as patiently as you could. You did your best to remain calm as the loud music thudded in the other room. The vibrations rattled your throbbing head. You leaned against the wall in the empty hallway, sighing.
Why did social gatherings like this overwhelm you? It always seemed like a good idea in theory. A place to meet with people, an opportunity to make new friends. But your imbalanced brain had a way of ruining things. You could never enjoy yourself. And you were sure you weren’t a joy to be around when you got overstimulated like this.
Wait for Henry, you told yourself. Don’t get too worked up. He will be back soon.
You heard footsteps approaching, so you lifted your head with a weak smile. You were expecting him to return, and all would be well again. Only it wasn’t him. Instead it was the host of the party, the one who told you it was a small gathering.
Jake. A friend of Henry’s. One that always gave you bad vibes. You bit your tongue with your bad feelings about him. If your man liked him, so should you. You were being paranoid. As always.
“Hi, Jake.” You wiped the anxious sweat from your brow, offering him a polite smile. “Quite the party.”
“What are you doing here? I thought you left already.” His voice seemed to be laced with distaste, but you figured you were imagining it. 
“I’m waiting for Henry. He left to get us some water.” You explained, wiping your damp palms on your thighs.
“Your little errand boy, right?”
“H-Huh?” You uttered in confusion. Errand boy?
“You’ve got him wrapped around your finger, don’t you? You say jump and he says how high.” He spat, crossing his arms
“Jake, I’m not-” Perhaps you were about to stick up for yourself, but he cut you off again so the words died in your throat.
“He can’t seem to go anywhere without you tagging along. Asking him for a guys night is like pulling teeth. Always spending time with the old ball and chain. You’re nagging him 24/7, aren’t you?” He scoffed.
“No, I…” You trailed off, thinking long and hard. Did you nag him?
Jake gave you hardly any time to think before spurting out more insults.
“Y’know I never could see what he saw in you. No one can. The man can get anyone. Everyone knows that. So why does he go and pick a ugly slag like you?” He jabbed, and you felt your eyes prick.
Your chest tightened. That was a question you asked yourself everyday. Everytime you woke up next to Henry. When he greeted you with a kiss and a smile. A beautiful way to start the day. But deep down it made you feel vulnerable. 
What did you do to deserve him? Nothing. Nothing at all. You were nobody. A nobody with a broken mind. 
“Why don’t you leave so the man can actually have some fun for once?” He was right. 
You blinked and didn’t say anything. You took his advice though, wobbling away as your heart began to beat quicker. You had to get out of here. The front door never seemed so far away.
You could already feel yourself spiraling as you rounded the corner to the living room. It was packed and loud. More people shuffled into your sight range. With each new face, it felt harder to breathe. You were suffocated.
You inhaled shakily, stumbling a little. You collided with a hard body, and as you were about to whip around a pair of hands cupped your shoulders. You tried to turn and apologize, but the person spoke.
“Darling? Are you alright?” Henry. You looked at him, taking in his features. He was here to protect you. But why weren’t you able to calm down? 
His lips were moving, though you couldn’t hear him. Everything was muffled. The people, the music, his voice. It all sounded far away. Like you were underwater. 
Your breathing was labored, your brain dissociating when the panic almost overtook you. The only way you were going to survive this was by detaching your mind from your body.
You felt yourself being moved. His solid presence was behind you, holding you by your shoulders. Your attention was focused on the floor. Pairs of shuffling shoes invaded your vision as he guided you through the crowd.
The fresh air entered your lungs when he got you outside. Cool and refreshing, unlike the stuffy hot air inside the house. Your hands shook as you reached up to hold your face, hiccuping when you were forced back to reality.
“Hey, hey. It’s okay, I’m here. You’re safe, I promise.” His hand gently laid on your back, not crowding you.
“Breathe, baby. Breathe in against my hand here.” He placed his other palm on your stomach, a gentle reminder to breathe in through your diaphragm.
You closed your eyes, inhaling as you concentrated on not panicking. Your breathing was shaky but it did wonders to calm you. His soft voice rang in your ears, praising you.
“There she is, good girl. I knew you could do it, I knew you could work yourself down.” He murmured. 
He stroked your moist cheek, pushing your hair away from your sweaty forehead. You leaned into his touch, your rapid heart slowing.
“Darling, what happened in there?” His face showed his worry.
“I… I got a little overwhelmed. That’s all.” You murmured while glancing down at the ground. He didn’t need to know about your encounter with Jake.
He rubbed the base of your neck sympathetically. He could tell there was more. Something was bothering you.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t realize it would be so crowded.” He kissed your temple as he apologized.
“It’s alright. Neither of us could have known Jake would invite everyone he knew.” You gave him a weak smile, shaking your head.
You thought you kept your tone even while speaking about that wretched man. Henry caught it. He didn’t let his surprise be known. He was confused by your sudden annoyance towards Jake, who you tolerated before.
“Let’s go home, princess. I think we’ve had enough fun for one night.” He took your hand, kissing your knuckles while giving you a dazzling smile.
You frowned, disappointed in yourself for not being able to handle a simple house party. He had seemed really excited about this get together. Even as more people showed up, he kept his smile and light heartedness. That was until your mood had dropped.
Jake was right. Henry couldn’t have fun with you around. You ruin everything. Quickly, you had to fix this.   
“No, no- I’m okay. I-I only needed a breather.” You shook your head frantically, swallowing. You grimaced when you realized how dry your throat was.
His expression dropped slightly, resembling a scold. He held the water out to you after opening it, silently urging you to drink. You took the bottle sheepishly, sipping from it slowly. 
“We’re not staying here anymore. We need to go home and decompress. Both of us.” He sighed when you pouted, softening his features as he rubbed your shoulders. He leaned in, kissing between your brows as you furrowed them.
“I really need to snuggle my favorite girl right now, okay? We can have a nice bubble bath. I’ll wash you up then maybe we can watch a movie after I get you into some warm pajamas.” He leveled with you, cupping your cheek.
“Okay...” You smiled weakly. Cuddling with him sounded better than anything. 
“Come on, let’s get out of here.” He started to turn towards the car.
“Hey, you two!” A voice called out from behind you, a familiar one that made you both freeze. For different reasons.
Henry spun around first, a grin on his face as he greeted his friend. They embraced in a hug as you turned slowly, trying to keep a polite smile. You hoped Jake would just let you two go without any snide comment.
The man in question spared you a glance as Henry patted his shoulder. 
“Hey, man. This has been quite the party. Y/N and I had a great time.” 
“Really? You’re leaving so soon.” Jake questioned, his brow raising in suspicion.
“Oh, I’ve got an early meeting in the morning. My manager contacted me with some stuff about emergency re-shoots. You know how it goes, man.” He quickly came up with a solid excuse, smooth as ever.
“Yeah, I know how it goes. It’s whatever the lady says right, pal?” Jake took a hearty swig of his beer, staring your man in the eye as his face dropped. You shifted on your feet, looking down in shame.
 “Sorry?” 
“Tell me, does she carry your balls around in her purse? Because you seem to have lost your pair.” He bit out viciously, the liquid courage burning in his chest.
“What did you just say?” Henry reared up, taking one long stride to get right in the other man’s face. 
His brows were pinched angrily. Jake’s eyes widened in the slightest, but the alcohol in his system was making him braver. He didn’t back down.
“You heard me. Ever since she’s been tagging along, you’ve turned into an utter bore. Must be some good pussy, because it seems to have sucked the life out of you.” He spit.
The anger that flashed on your boyfriend’s face was bone-chilling. In the blink of an eye, he had the smaller man’s collar clenched in his fists. Yanking him upwards, Henry shook him while growling.
“Do you think the fact that you’re hammered is going to keep me from punching your teeth in? I’m going to make you regret disrespecting her.” He growled dangerously.
You finally came to your senses when you saw him pull his fist backwards. Jake flinched. Thankfully you were able to stop your boyfriend before his knuckles were to connect with the drunk’s jaw.
“Don’t.” You gasped softly, catching his gaze while holding his arm in both of your hands. His eye twitched as his fist clenched tighter. You felt the tendons in his forearm jerk. You squeezed reassuringly.
You shook your head silently, a wordless plea for him to not escalate this. Punching him would only make things worse. Jake wasn’t worth it.
The anger dissipated from his face as he gazed at you. He lowered his fist, while his other hand on Jake’s collar loosened. Henry was about to let him go completely, until Jake scoffed under his breath.
“Pfft. Pussy-whipped.”
The actor’s face twisted once more. You sighed, cursing the hammered bastard mentally. He wasn’t making this any easier. You could tell Henry was still itching to beat him mercilessly. Said man grunted, your hand falling from his arm as he gripped Jake’s collar once more.
The large man lifted the smaller one off the ground. At least three feet upwards before tossing him on the grass in the front yard. You grimaced as he fell on his back in a heavy heap. Luckily Henry chose to drop him in the grass, as opposed to the pavement. 
You could see Jake’s ego wounded immediately, and you would have laughed if the situation wasn’t so serious. You crossed your arms, holding in a sigh as Henry bent down to talk to him.
“Don’t bother trying to apologize tomorrow when you sober up. Or else I’ll be forced to come back here and finish what I started.” He stood up, glaring at him for one last moment before he turned to you.
“Let’s go.” He whispered, walking behind you as he led you to the car. He kept you from even sparing at glance at Jake.  
You were silent as he got you in the car, looking down at your lap as he got in the driver's seat. He looked at you, you could feel his stare burning into you. Shame kept you from looking at him.
“Darling… Did Jake say something to you earlier?” He finally broke the silence. 
You opened your mouth, before closing it with a nod. Tears welled up as you recalled his hurtful words. From earlier in the night, and from now.
“What did he say to you?” He prodded.
You finally looked at him, and his jaw ticked when he saw your puffy eyes. Right then, he felt like going back and beating that idiot to a pulp for making his baby girl cry.  Your sniffles broke his heart.
“I-I don’t… I don’t want to talk about it.” You hiccuped, shaking your head. 
“Is that what got you so upset?” His voice was soft, almost broken with guilt. He should have never left you alone. 
You shrugged, Jake’s badgering surely didn’t help your already overstimulated mind. Henry bit his lip as he was forced to push away his anger to comfort you. He stroked your hair, rubbing your shoulder.
“Baby..” He trailed off, being interrupted by you.
“I just want to go home. And take that bubble bath you promised.” You begged, causing him to sigh and let it go for now. He gave you a smile.
“Of course, sweetheart. Let's go home.” He kissed your cheek before pulling away, turning the car on and driving.
Your eyelids were heavy, your head resting on your hand. You let them close for the rest of the car ride home. Your silence was making him want to squirm, but he did his best to not show his displeasure. It killed him to see you so upset.
When he parked he was sure you had fallen asleep, but you surprised him by lifting your head. He turned the car off, reaching to cup your cheek.
“Are you okay, my baby girl?” He searched your face for any more signs of tears. He saw only the dried streaks from earlier. 
You gave him a weak smile, and it did little to mend his broken heart. He matched your smile though, stroking your hair away from your face as you leaned into his hand.
“I’m okay. I promise.” Your voice was softer, smaller.
He leaned forward to kiss you, and you kissed back half heartedly. Henry pulled away, knowing you were still trying to put on a brave face for him.
His brave girl. You didn’t always have to be strong. That’s what he was here for. He wasn’t going to push you. You would talk to him eventually. You always did. 
“Let’s get inside, pumpkin.” He kissed your knuckles before getting out of the car. Of course he opened your door and helped you out.
You held his hand as he led you inside. He knelt in front of you once he closed the door, working on taking your heels off for you.
“You look so beautiful tonight… I still can’t believe you gave a man like me even a chance.” He murmured the last part to himself, rubbing your ankles when your shoes were gone.
You couldn’t quell the quiver of your lip. You’re the one who didn’t deserve him. Not in the slightest. Jake was right. What does a man like him see in a woman like you?
You masked with a smile, stroking his hair as he kissed your clothed hips. He watched you carefully, still on his knees in front of you.
“What do I have to do for you to see how perfect you are?” He whispered as he nuzzled your stomach, squeezing you close.
You hiccuped quietly. Your fingers weaved into his hair, feeling his silky curls between your digits. The sensation calmed you a little.
Soon, his warmth pulled away and when you opened your eyes again, he was standing. He cupped your cheek, his thumb rubbing your flesh.
“I promised you a bubble bath. Come on, sweetheart.” He bent down to kiss your nose. You smiled lightly. 
You both went into the master bathroom, where you sat on the closed toilet lid. He turned to mess with the knobs on the large tub. The water filled the basin, then he added bubbles. 
You took a deep breath, the soft smell of vanilla and brown sugar filled your nostrils. The scent caused you to relax, the sound of the water lulling you into a calm state.
Henry stood up, helping you stand and start to undress. His fingers unzipped your dress, letting it fall off your body and pool at your feet on the tile floor. You shivered when his digits trailed over your form. They hooked on your panties and pulled them down your legs.
He helped you into the tub, and you let out a sigh as you sunk into the warm, scented water. The bubbles covered your chest, and you let yourself rest for a second. He stroked your hair, an added comfort to the warm bath.
“How does that feel, darling?” He spoke softly, his hands disappearing. You heard liquid being poured into a glass.
The sneaky devil had snagged a bottle of your favorite wine before coming up here. He was pouring it into the stemmed glass. Somehow you hadn’t noticed he grabbed it. He glanced back at you with a smirk. How did he know exactly what you needed?
“It feels perfect.” You whispered, in awe of this man. He handed you the wine, and you took a smooth sip. You hummed.
Well, it was almost perfect. There was one thing missing.
“Come in with me?” You blinked up at him, your hand wrapped around his wrist when he went to sit beside the tub.
He melted, nodding his head instantly. Anything you wanted, he would not hesitate to give to you. And anything he couldn’t do, it killed him that he wasn’t able to fulfill your every need. Thankfully, this was a simple request. He began to undress as you set the glass aside.
You watched him unashamed. This beautiful man was yours. All yours. You felt your heart begin to swell. As it always did when you thought about the fact that you were his and he was yours.
How did something like that happen to someone like you? It was unbelievable.
You scooted forward as he lowered himself in. He dragged you back into his chest after he was seated, making you relax in his embrace. He began to wash you, his breath ghosting over your shoulder as he kissed it.
“It kills me seeing you so upset.” Henry finally spoke after a lull of comfortable silence.
You pouted, feeling guilty about worrying him. Before you could open your mouth to apologize, he cut you off.
“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry.” He turned your head, looking at you seriously. “None of this is your fault.”
You closed your mouth, swallowing your apology as he stroked your cheek. He sighed to himself as he traced your lower lip with his thumb.
“It took every ounce of my self control not to beat him to a bloody pulp for disrespecting you.” His voice was flat.
The protective tone he held made your heart skip a beat, and a tingle to grow between your legs. A smile ghosted your lips, your hand coming up to cup his face.
“I know. I’m starting to think I should have let you.” You cracked a smile. A real one.
“I would have. All you have to do is ask.” He turned to kiss your palm. You laid your head on his shoulder, his arms around you making you feel safe. 
“I know you would.” 
Your words had the whisper of sadness. He was perfect. Too perfect for you. There must be a catch. Henry kissed the top of your head, squeezing you gently.
“Do you want to talk about what he said to you?” He murmured, dragging the washcloth down your arms.
You sighed, his touch easing you enough to talk about it. You tell him your encounter with Jake, from the very beginning. Tears burned in your eyes as you retold the story, but they didn’t fall as you repeated his hateful words.
“He said you were too good for me. And no one understands what you see in me.” You looked at him, blinking away your tears. You don’t tell him the harsher words Jake uttered to you. No reason for him to get angry again.
“And you believed him.” It wasn’t a question. He could tell by your expression that the drunk’s words resonated deep within you. 
You shrugged. He kissed the back of your neck, breathing in your scent. He sighed, his nose pressed against your skin.
“I wish I had the words to change your mind, my love. I don’t like the way you view yourself. While you think I’m too good for you, I believe in the opposite. It is you who is too good for me.
Every morning when I wake up next to you, I always ask myself one thing. ‘What did a fool like me do to deserve such an amazing, beautiful woman?’. I still don’t have an answer.”
He kissed the side of your face, his lips next to your ear. You shivered, hanging onto every word as his hands rubbed your sides.
“But I try not to dwell on it. Because every moment I spend with you is a gift. And I much rather enjoy it and then spend our time together stressing.”
You nuzzled him as he squeezed you. You sniffled, his words calming your woeful heart. You pressed your lips to his cheek, whispering against his skin. 
“Thank you, Henry. You always know how to fix things.”
“Anything for my precious girl. Anymore wine, sweetheart?” He offered you the almost empty glass. You shook your head, gesturing for him to finish it.
He winked at you and tossed it back. You watched as his tongue came out to lick the rest off his lips. Your mouth watered. His taste was intoxicating by itself, mixed with the sweet wine it had to be heavenly.
 You decided not to wonder any longer, pressing your lips to his. He hummed, deepening the kiss as he stroked your tongue with his. You gasped into his mouth when you felt his half hard cock twitch against your spine.
He grunted, smirking as he nipped at your lower lip. He squeezed your hips, pulling away. His nose brushed against yours.
“Let’s get out and dry off, shall we? Get into some warm pajamas and then you can pick a movie to watch.”
You grinned as you started to brainstorm about which movie you were going to pick. You were off in your own world as he helped you out of the tub. He quickly dried himself. Then gently patted your body dry with a fresh towel.
You hummed a soft tune, a sign to Henry that you were starting to feel like yourself again. The material of the soft towel was making you relax. Your skin still smelled of vanilla, as did his. 
He kissed the top of your head after he was done, both of you still nude until he wrapped the towel around you. You kept stealing glances at his naked form. He smirked to himself.
“Go wait for me on the bed. I’ll pick out something comfortable for you to wear.” He pecked your lips, patting your side to urge you towards the bedroom.
You bit your lip and nodded, leaving him in the bathroom. You made sure you weren’t dripping any water before sitting on the edge of the bed. You grabbed the remote, browsing for something to watch.
Henry entered, fully clothed now as he held a pair of clothes for you in one hand. In the other, a bottle of lotion.
“I’ll get you dressed, but first-lotion.” He knew your routine.
You smiled at him, watching him massage the lotion into your shoulders and arms. He lowered the towel to get your back as he sat behind you. Your eyes were closed, listening to his breathing as he lathered you up.
His large hands spread over your chest. He weighed your breasts in his palms as his thumbs lightly grazed your nipples. You moaned softly, leaning into him. His lips touched your ear, kissing his way down your neck and shoulder.
“Lay back sweet girl.” 
You did so, gazing up at him as he stood at the end of the bed. He gathered some more lotion, rubbing into your feet. You groaned in delight when he massaged your aching soles. The sensation made you melt.
You felt his lips on the sensitive skin on your foot, gently kissing your heel, and each of your toes. He gave the other foot the same attention. His fingers creeped up your legs till he was squeezing your thighs. 
Your legs spread instinctively, presenting your core to him. His eyes became half lidded as a pleased growl tumbled from his lips.
“So beautiful. Every inch of you, darling. There’s not a part of you I don’t love.” He tugged you up on the bed, lowering himself down on his stomach between your legs.
Your breath shook when you felt his mouth against the inside of your thighs. He peppered kisses along your skin as he lifted his hands. You gasped as his fingers bumped your clit. 
“Please, Daddy.” You needed more, squirming in front of him as he teased you.
“Shh, baby girl. Daddys got you. You don’t have to beg. I’m gonna taste this perfect cunt either way.” His breath hit your center as he leaned closer, covering your slit with his mouth as soon as he ended his sentence.
His tongue was hot as it weaved between your lips, seeking out the bundle of nerves hiding. His wet appendage swirled the bead once, twice, before he puckered his lips around it. Henry suckled gently, his large hands holding your thighs apart.
You arched your back and moaned, the stimulation making your gut tighten. You reached down to hold onto his hair, tugging lightly when he gave your clit another suck. You couldn’t help it
He didn’t seem to mind in the slightest, moaning against your flower as you held onto his curls. He gazed up at you, admiring the look of pleasure on your face. His tongue explored further down, dipping into your leaking hole
You bucked against his mouth, panting as your heart started to thud quickly. Incoherent groans left your mouth as you wiggled on the bed. He held you in place, snarling as he increased the pace of his tongue and lips. You tensed.
He pulled the orgasm from you with skill, your body rolling. Moans of wanton pleasure escaped you, falling apart from his lips. Your skin didn’t stop tingling until he finally pulled away.   
You panted and opened your eyes when his mouth disappeared. His lips and chin were shiny, his smirk large as you got bashful at the sight of him.
“Mmm, you taste delicious. As always. Wish I could eat you all day.” He growled, one of his hands going back to your pussy. Your jaw dropped open as he traced your puffy slit.
You inhaled as he sunk a finger into you, your hole closed around it eagerly as you clenched down. He moaned under his breath, his gaze attached to the way your body swallowed his digit inside. 
“So tight, baby girl. It feels so nice to just relax and let Daddy make you feel good, doesn’t it? I love seeing you squirm. I want you to cum again. Can you do that for Daddy, beautiful?”  
You nodded quickly. He added a second finger, almost like he knew you needed it. You concentrated on the feeling of his fingertips rubbing against your convulsing walls. He found your special spot with no problem, growling when you let out a cry.
“There you go, good girl.” He grunted, shaking his fingers inside you. You squealed, and Henry moaned at the sound. “Cum for me, princess. Cum for daddy.”
He toyed with your g-spot, his lips finding your nub again. The sensations all blended together, and soon you lost yourself in another orgasm. You sobbed, gripping his head between your thighs and you arched off the bed.
He gulped down all that you gave, rutting his fingers into you to pull you through the tendrils of euphoria. Your body relaxed as your orgasm subsided. He finally pulled away with one last lingering lick of your cunt.
“Are you still with me, gorgeous?” He chuckled when you hummed and nodded lazily. “Did you decide on a movie to watch?”
You pouted silently as you glanced down at his groin. He was obviously aroused, yet wasn’t expecting you to return the favor. You wanted to take care of him. Your hand rested on his thigh. He chuckled, lifting your hand to kiss it. 
“That’s nothing for you to worry about right now, darling. You need to rest. Now, have you decided on a movie?” He questioned you again.
“Lilo and Stitch.” You murmured as he stood up, your gaze following him.
“Lilo and Stitch it is then.” He grinned leaning over you to peck your lips. You could taste a hint of your own essence on his tongue.
Henry dressed you in the warm pajamas he picked out of you beforehand. You sighed in content, smiling up at him as he switched on the movie. He smiled back at you, scooting onto the bed and pulling you close. You snuggled him, your face in his chest.
“I love you, Darling. Don’t ever forget that. No matter how bad your thoughts might get, I want you to remember how much I love you. You mean everything to me.” His voice vibrated in his chest, and you lifted your head to fixate on him.
“I love you, Henry. You’re my everything. I don’t think I could live without you.” You whispered, your eyes locked.
“Good thing you won’t have to. You’re stuck with me, I’m afraid.” He smiled, kissing you with a pleasant hum. You giggled.
“Now let’s watch ‘Lilo and Stitch’. Who’s the little blue guy again?”
******
A/N: Slowly chipping away at my inbox. Thank you for your patience as I slowly complete your requests. I apologize to anyone who has been waiting for months. Some things in my personal life have affected my mental health negatively, and I haven't been writing as much. Recently I've been easing my way back into writing, and I want to start being more active on here. I love you all, I feel like I don't tell you that enough. I’m sorry when I go MIA 😭❤️
Taglist: @sunshine-with-daisy @leigh70 @islacharlotte @lysarria @kebabgirl67 @pandaxnienke @identity2212 @rach2602
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randombush3 · 6 months
Note
YEAHHHH!!’
gladly x
---
“Y/n left me.” 
The limousine you are in is completely black, save for the white lines being measured out right next to you. 
“What?” says Jenni. 
“She left me,” Alexia says once more. The hotel room is a non-committal beige. They lie in the same bed, the older of the two welcoming her lost teammate wordlessly and without judgement. Tomorrow, they will return to Barcelona, losers yet another time. “She moved back to london. She took Nico.” 
“She can’t just take Nico, can she?” 
“Y/n, how’s Nico?” Your stomach turns, but whether that is provoked by the thought of the baby boy you left crying in your father’s arms or by the white powder outlining the rim of the woman’s nostrils, you don’t know. 
Your son’s creasing eyes, red face, and grabbing hands appear in front of you. He screams as you walk away. He doesn’t understand why he has not smelt Alexia in weeks, and he misses the comfort of home. 
Everyone waits for your answer. No one comments on the bags under your eyes. “He's fine,” you say with a smile. “He loves it here.”
“I think she is depressed,” Alexia tells Jenni, comforted by the arms wrapped around her waist, holding her close and tightly and reminding her that she is not as alone as you have made her feel. “She told me that she couldn’t be in Barcelona anymore, but she said that without giving me a chance to come with her. Her bags were packed before the conversation started — she might as well have called me from the plane.” 
“Are you angry at her?” 
“Yes.” 
Alexia thinks about it. 
“No.”
“No,” you say when they point at your very own line. The drug holds a place of both familiarity and hatred in your heart. The fine, white powder reminds you of greatness – of being the most successful girl group in the UK – but, also, of hospital visits. It’s not a past addiction, but it could have been. You light a cigarette instead, though it will make the vehicle reek.“I can't. I have a son.” 
“You’re not a saint.” They boo. “You’re allowed to have fun. I saw you the other day, and you had no qualms with any drugs then.” 
“No, I'm not a saint,” you reply. You regret that night — however little you remember. “But I am a mother.” 
“Is it that thing? Postpartum?” Jenni asks. “The baby blues are really shitty, I've heard, but they’re not supposed to cripple you. Maybe the relationship has other issues.” 
“I'm not angry at her, Jenni,” Alexia repeats. “I miss Nico. He looks like her. He has started to look a lot more like her now.”
“He would definitely suit those sparkly bralettes.” Jenni giggles at the thought. 
With an understandable lack of good humour, Alexia ponders something more realistic. “He would suit a Barcelona kit.” 
“He would be made for it. You are his mother.” 
“I'm not angry at her,” Alexia says for the third time, just to make herself believe it. Just to carve those words into her bones and tell herself that it isn’t anger, what she’s feeling. “I don't want to be angry at her. I think I'm going to see if I can move to arsenal.” 
“Don’t you dare.” 
“Well, I'm not angry at her.” 
“Alexia.” Jenni cups her cheek tenderly. “Ale.” She knows she shouldn’t. She’s not angry at you, and so there is no punishment needed. Not that… Not that kissing Jenni would ever be utilised as a weapon to get back at you. Or that she’d actually kiss her. 
“Daddy, I can't get him tonight. No, I don't want to stay over. Daddy, I…” You hate the baby. You hate yourself. You hate that Spain hasn’t done well, and that your fiancée is disappointed that nothing is how it was supposed to be. Alexia is probably lying awake in bed, missing her son, and missing you. You expect one of her teammates to call you soon, and tell her that she needs you. You’re her person. “I'm going to get some sleep and I'll pick him up tomorrow. Probably around lunchtime, okay?” 
“Alexia."
---
what do we think?
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