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nikstersss · 3 years

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Not How To Pass The PLE

Before I go into the main gist of this post, let me give you a small background story. I was a mid-year post-graduate intern in Manila who started in January 2021. I lived alone in our condo unit near the hospital I went to. My usual routine was to get up early, prep, take a short walk to the trike station where I’d take a tricycle to the hospital, go on duty, insert a coffee or carioca break in between, walk all the way home at the end of the day, then maybe have a short study session with a couple friends after dinner or just chill at home. It was a pretty good setup. But then COVID happened. Suddenly, I was a pandemic e-ntern stuck at home listening to Zoom endorsements and lectures all day. At first I was hopeful that things would somehow go back to normal and maybe I wouldn’t be spending the rest of my internship in front of a screen, but we all know how that turned out.

I finished the first half of my internship with the regular year PGIs online. While they were prepping for their boards, I was on my second half with the new batch of interns (that’s probably you, dear reader)—still online. Now you might think that it would have been wise of me to use all that “free” time to start early with my own boards prep and you would be correct. I thought the exact same thing. And trust me, I tried. And failed. Countless times. I won’t even try to justify it. Admittedly, I still think it was a wasted opportunity to read more and make notes, but then again, there’s no use crying over spilled milk. Besides, while it would have been nice and probably less stressful, I still survived without it. Which means that you can, too. So if you’re one of those who’s berating himself because you “didn’t make the most out of your time”, cut it out. You’ll be fine.

Towards the end of my internship, I enrolled in a review center. Despite the asynchronous setup, the review schedule was super tight and the sessions already started while I was still in the middle of final reports and exams. Needless to say, I was already behind on that before it even began. In fact, I didn’t even get to focus on reviewing itself until maybe around early February because of clearance, paperwork, and application stuff. So if you were to ask me how long I really reviewed for the March 2021 boards, I’d say just a little over a month. Kasalanan ko. Wag po tularan. Stressful siya. Nakakaloka.

And even when I did get to really buckle down and do some intense reading, I didn’t follow the program anymore. I tried to catch up at first, but I was already way behind. But I am grateful for all the summarized material because that meant I didn’t have to pore over the mother books anymore. What I will say, though, is that because I didn’t exactly follow the recommended study hours etcetera, I was able to enjoy the whole process because I did it at my own pace. Sure, there was still that dread that maybe I wasn’t on the same level as the others, but I learned to tune those thoughts out eventually. And that’s where goal-setting and discipline comes in, I guess.

The most common question I’ve been getting is what was my day like during the PLE review season. Honestly, I’d like to say I had a routine I followed, but that’s only half-true. While I did have a structure for my day, I rarely followed it exactly. Nevertheless, allow me to share what it would have been like if I did:

Ideally, I’d wake up at 5:00 A.M. then do my morning routine which included prayer and meditation, making my bed, taking a shower, and brewing coffee. And because I’m the type of person who enjoys these mundane activities and slow mornings, I also took this opportunity to get myself in the zone before all the studying that’s to come. I’d plan out my study goals and outline (something you can do the night before, actually) then maybe have breakfast while watching some videos (could be review-related, or those self-motivational vids, or maybe even Korean street food). I’d do whatever I wanted to wake my brain up without stressing it out too much until around 6:30 A.M. By this time, I’d work on backlogs for about an hour and study until about 10 or 11 A.M.—it depends how in the zone I am. I’d prep and cook lunch and then eat while watching Netflix maybe or even play a bit of Fortnite or Paladins until about 1:00 P.M. At this point, I’m pretty certain to be quite sleepy so it’s either I make coffee or tea, or maybe even go out to study at a coffee shop, and then it’s study all the way until 7 P.M. I then take a break to get some exercise, take a shower, have a light dinner, and if I feel like I deserve it, nap for a little bit. At around 8:30, my family usually calls and then we pray the rosary together. After this, I study again, but more of a recall and review session for the day’s progress until about 11:30. I then have my night self-care routine and then go to sleep around midnight.

The main takeaway from the previous paragraph? “Ideally.”

During the first few days of setting up my schedule or routine, following it was already challenging, but still doable. But then the backlogs started piling up and no matter how much I tried to streamline the whole study process, I just couldn’t keep up. I did what I could to follow study habits and schedules, but the setup was falling apart. And you know what? That was okay.

Normally, my type A self would have been so frustrated already with how poorly I was handling my review season. Admittedly, there were a few meltdowns and anxiety attacks as the exam drew nearer, but for the most part, I just let things happen as they did. I still adjusted, sure, but I wasn’t hard on myself for always having to. I kept changing goals when I didn’t meet them (which was probably 80% of the time). There were even instances where I’d finish a handout and then I’d say that okay, I’ll watch an episode for a reward, but that episode became the entire season. While I considered myself to be the most chill reviewee, I also thought I was the worst because I refused to give up any of my wants for my needs. I resisted, of course, but then they’d bug me the entire time I was studying so instead of staying productive, I’d just annoy the hell out of myself. I was probably just lazy and stubborn. LOL. Long story, short, it was a constant battle.

There were times when I felt confident enough to power through the whole thing. I enjoyed the whole process of studying, actually. Making notes and my own ways of memorizing things was fun. I made use of different study strategies, self-checks, and motivational boosters (more on these on a different post). Aside from these, having review-mates who were just a chat away made things bearable. Breakdown session muna tas aral na ulit. And how could I forget all my sweet friends who would send over coffee ayuda every now and then? To me, passing the boards, while mainly should be for oneself and one’s self-actualization, is also about not letting down these people who have been with you throughout your journey.

But it wasn’t always a hyped-90s-movie-transformation-montage kind of environment. Other times, I was just worn out and dejected by my lack of progress. In the already meager time I had to study, I still had plenty of off-days. Concepts just wouldn’t stick and it was disappointing how I’d already forgotten what I just read a couple days ago. It got really tiring even if I was staying indoors all the time. I missed the comfort of coffee shops and the company of study buddies. I missed my family. I wanted to hug our dog. There were days when I couldn’t even bring myself to make coffee and open my notes. I even reached a point where I was sure that I wouldn’t finish reading all the material. (I kid you not, I have handouts I never got to open.)

Yet here I am. Here I am writing about how I survived all that and got those two letters attached to my name. I am not a good example, obviously. There are hundreds better than me and you probably should be taking advice from them instead. I’m simply writing this to tell you that you don’t have to worry. This is all just to ease your anxieties about the PLE. I’m not saying it’s an easy feat that you can just achieve just like that. While I seemed rather complacent, I still put in the work, after all. Admittedly, I know I could have done more, but again, I’m not going to dwell on that anymore. It’s done.

My goal in writing this is to let you know, my dear future doctor, that you’re going to be just fine. Here’s someone who understands the huge disconnect that stemmed from being a pandemic e-ntern. Here’s someone who’s always been doubtful and full of anxieties about the PLE even before she filed her application at the PRC. Here’s someone who constantly prayed that the PLE be moved even for just a month (or kahit two weeks lang masaya na ako nun) up to the week before the exam along with a rising number of cases. Here’s someone who barely has the capability to maintain focus for more than an hour. Here’s someone whose reading pace was literally at 10 minutes per page (yes, I actually timed it and IDK if that’s slow or really slow). Here’s someone who still allowed herself to study at coffee shops and even have samgyup (with proper health protocols, of course) even if she knew she was drowning in backlogs.

My point is that if I managed to pass despite all that, you can, too. My close friends know that I developed a rather funny mentality to ease the jitters as the boards drew nearer. I knew and claimed it for myself that I would already pass. I viewed the whole PLE as just a “formality”--a means for His plans of me becoming a doctor to manifest in this realm. I believed it so much to the point that I thought that no matter what bloopers and slip-ups I have during the test, I’d still see my name on the list of board passers. I’m not saying you should totally ease up and just have a come-what-may attitude. Again, I’m not the model student you should be following here. What I’m saying is to have faith in yourself, your capabilities, and in God. So chin up, Doc. Just a little more ‘til you get to legally practice with that MD at the end of your name.

#nikstersss #PLE

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mattygraygubler · 4 years

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our campus: chapter 4 (tom holland fanfic)

summary: frat!tom and reader go to the same college and y/n is tasked with being his tutor, they don’t really get along at first (because i love reader and tom hating each other trope)

warnings: none ?????

word count: 2.1k

a/n: so many texts and so much dialogue fuckin kill me also texts are bold

for a list of characters click here

to be added to the tag list send me an ask !

masterlist

✰✰✰✰✰

“I don’t know what you did to get her to give you a second chance, but I need to warn you.” Ally said. Tom turned to look at her, they had only ever spoken when necessary for theater stuff.

“Warn me?” He asked.

“Y/N can make your life either very, very good or very, very bad. She has most of the professors in this school wrapped around her pinky. And she doesn’t make it obvious, but she’s the smartest person I’ve ever met. She can really help you if you let her.”

“Well, thanks.” He said awkwardly and turned back to his stuff.

“One more thing.” Ally said. Tom turned again and raised his eyebrows. “Don’t you dare catch feelings.” “Seriously? No need to worry about that.” Ally scoffed.

“I’m serious, Tom. Don’t. She doesn’t need that right now.”

“Yeah, fine, I get it.” He said.

“Alright guys let’s get started.” Gigi said, signaling rehearsal was about to start.

* * *

It was finally Friday, and your phone was blowing up as you walked to the library. Class had gotten out late, so you were walking as fast as possible so you wouldn’t be late to your meeting with Tom.

if Y/N is ok with it its fine with me

i still dont know how i feel about this

pretty pretty please guys i really like this guy and he really wants me to go

You

what are we talking about i was in class

harrison invited em and all of us to the delt party tonight

and i said we shouldnt go bc of what happened

plus isnt tom a delt? wouldnt that be a bit awk?

You

honestly i couldnt care less. after the week ive had im gonna too blacked to even realize where we are

lets take it to a vote

aye

nay

You

im abstaining

the ayes have it! delt BABEEEYYYY

ill have harrison put us all on the list

You

glad we got that sorted ill see u guys at mine at 8

You walked into the library, checking your watch and seeing it was 4:02. You bit your lip. Hopefully he didn’t give you any crap for being late.

You walked quickly into hlab, and you knew you looked like a crazy person. Your bag was falling off your shoulder, you had a coffee in your hand and your water bottle tucked under your arm, and your phone in your other hand.

You scanned the room and saw Tom sitting across from Max, both of them had books out.

“Hi,” you said breathlessly. Max slid over a seat so you could sit across from Tom. “So sorry I’m late, crazy day.”

“No worries dar-” You heard him start to say darling, but stopped himself. “No worries. It’s only 2 minutes after.”

“How long have you been waiting?” You asked.

“Max and I have been hanging out for a while, not a big deal.”

“Speaking of, I’m on alc duty for tonight so I better go.” Max said, did his stupid handshake with Tom, and walked out.

Hlab was almost empty except for some freshman. Most people don’t like studying on a Friday, who could blame them?

“So I got a copy of your lectures from this week. What do you want to start with?”

“I don’t care.”

“Ok, what is currently confusing you the most?” He thought for a second before saying “Astronomy.” You nodded.

“Great, grab your notes and your textbook.” He pulled out a notebook and his laptop, opening the online textbook. You pulled out your laptop and a pen and highlighter.

“May I?” You asked and pulled his notebook to your side. You went through his notes, circling certain things with the pen and highlighting others.

“These are really good, Tom. I like how you put question marks next to things that confused you.” He laughed.

“Do I get a gold star?” He joked. You rolled your eyes.

“So phases of the moon.” You started.

“Wait a second,” he said after you had been talking for a while. “You’re telling me that the moon doesn’t actually, like, change?”

“It’s all shadows.” You replied. He nodded and seemed to finally be getting it.

“The phases will most definitely be on your next lab, which isn’t open note, so make sure you memorize them.” You said. “Let’s move onto stats.” He groaned. “What?” You asked.

“Statistics is so stupid. Letters and numbers shouldn’t go together.” You rolled your eyes.

“Stats is easy, I promise you. This is the first unit, all we’re doing is descriptive statistics and graphing. Let’s start with some vocab.” You said, highlighting certain words in his notes.

Once you could see his brain was about to explode, you moved onto writing.

“There’s not much to talk about, just email me your most recent paper so I can go through it and look for themes we need to discuss.”

‘“Themes?” He asked.

“You know, on going issues that need to be addressed.” He nodded and emailed you his paper, which you would read tomorrow. You heard your phone buzz and took a quick glance.

al dont be upset

then dont give me a reason to get upset

what is it

……….. It’s themed

are you kidding? were not freshmen, i dont wanna go to a stupid themed frat party

its blackout !!!! itll be fun i promise

You turned your phone back down and didn’t realize you had an upset look on your face.

“Everything ok?” He asked.

“Just arguing in the group chat.”

“Do you need to go?” He asked.

“No, no, just arguing about tonight.”

“What’s tonight?”

“Tonight is not related to political conflict, which is what we should be talking about.” He laughed.

“Do you ever have fun?”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m serious, do you ever have fun, or do you just go to sleep surrounded by planners and textbooks.”

“That’s not funny. There’s a lot more about me that you don’t know.”

“Clearly.”

“So we’re starting off with socioeconomic issues over time and the class strugle. Did you read the Marx chapters?”

“Yup. Didn’t understand a word of it.”

“Ok, let’s get into it.” You said and began rambling about the bourgeoisie and the communist manifesto. Politics was your favorite subject, you could talk about it for hours.

You were having a really good discussion with Tom. It was global political conflict, and he was able to connect the themes to both America and England, which made you really pleased.

You were pulled out of your discussion when your phone vibrated.

pickin up panera anyone want anything

“Jeez it’s already past 6:30, I gotta go.” You said.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He said.

“No it’s not your fault, I get so into politics I lose track of time.” “I can tell.” He said as you both packed up your stuff.

“Wanna grab some food?” He asked.

“Sorry, can’t,” you said.

“Why, got a hot date?” He joked.

“Maybe,” you said.

“At least let me walk you to wherever you’re going.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Well where are you going?”

“Congression Hall?” You replied.

“Wait, you live there?”

“Uhm, yes? Me along with practically every other junior.”

“What floor?”

“8.” You said.

“Should’ve guessed.” He replied as you started walking across the quad.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Honors 8. I forgot you were in hc.” He was referring to the eighth and top floor of Congression Hall, which was reserved for the honors college juniors.

“Yeah.” You said simply.

“I’m on six, by the way.” He said. “That’s why I was curious. I’ve never seen you around there.”

“I’m not usually, I only really use it for sleep.”

“Of course,” he replied.

“I assumed you lived in a frat house.” You commented.

“Nah, next year.” He said with a wink. “Speaking of frat houses, there’s kind of this party going on at Delt tonight-”

“I’m aware.” You said, cutting him off.

“Ah, well, if you want I can get you on the list.” You smiled to yourself.

“No need, I’m already on the list.” You said.

“Oh?” He said, clearly embarrassed. “Because of delta nu?”

“Nope.” You said, not offering any other information.

“Well maybe I’ll see you there then.”

“Even if you do see me there, I will be pretending I don’t know you.”

“Why?” He asked, clearly offended. “I run that house.” He joked, trying to play off the embarrassment.

“No offense, but your reputation would not be good for mine.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well I have a certain reputation in the greek community, and if people see me with you they’ll get the wrong idea.”

“The wrong idea?” He asked as you walked in the lobby of your building.

“Well, see, the thing is,” you said, stepping into the elevator. He pressed the button for six and eight. “I have certain standards. If people see me with you, they’ll think I’ve…”

“Wow, you are really uptight, aren’t you?”

“Excuse me?”

“Certain standards? Jesus christ, you’re not the queen, Y/N. And I don’t have a bad reputation. But god forbid I don’t live up to your ‘standards.’” He said, storming off the elevator without another word, clearly upset. You sighed. Good job, Y/N.

Tom got to his room and threw his stuff on the floor, collapsing on his bed. His head hurt from all the tutoring, and trying to focus on not staring at your lips.

delt juniors

Tom

aight important question guys

Cal

whats up tommy

Tom

do you guys know a girl called Y/N Y/L/N? shes a delta nu

Joey

dan knows her ;)

Cal

fuck, Y/N? what are you doing with her?

Tom

shes tutoring me stop buggin

Max

i know her which u know shes in hc with me

Liam

oh danny DEFINITLY knows her

Will

who doesnt know Y/N? shes a hot commodity

Tom

what do you mean?

Cal

shes like the perfect girl next door, totally hot and so smart which just makes her hotter

Will

doesnt help that shes a huge fuckin flirt AND can hold her alc

Joey

dan is being suspiciously quiet……..

Dan

shut up joe

Liam

care to share with tommy your story with Y/N, daniel?

Dan

i hate u all

fine

i was like in love with her freshman year

and i thought she was into me too

and we made out a couple of times but nothing else

the second she found out i was in delt she stopped talking to me

like complete radio silence

Tom

wtf? Why?

Cal

she doesnt fuck with delts

thats like common greek knowledge

Will

maybe its because shes gonna be dchi sweetheart?

Joey

nah theres gotta be something else

Harrison

well i just put her on the list for tonite

Tom

wait YOU put her on the list?!

Harrison

yeah i invited her friend Emily Gold and she doesnt go anywhere without Y/N and these two other girls

Cal

Ally Park and Isabelle Miller

Harrison

yeah howd u know?

Cal

theyre like those cool girls from high school everyones obsessed with that are just out of everyones league

Tom

wow american high schools are so weird

Dan

tom if u wanna get with her i wont be pissed

Tom

nah like you said she hates delts, and after three tutoring sessions with me i guarentee i am her least favorite delt ever

Liam

theres no fuckin way she shows up tonight

she wouldnt be caught dead at a delt party

Noah

wait you said Y/N Y/L/N may come tonight????

DIBS

DIBS DIBS DIBS

I CALL DIBS

Cal

noah u seriously show up just to call dibs?

Noah

yeah bro have u seen her? if she comes tonight and any of you try to cockblock me i stg ill deck you

Dan

pretty sure tommy has rightful dibs to this one

Tom

nah fam she hates me so fuckin much

let noah try his luck

i doubt she’ll even show

Max

she’ll show.

Tom

what makes u say that?

Liam

max does know her best

Max

she and ally and emily and isabelle are ride or die. they circulate who picks what party they go to and if its emilys turn and harrison somehow conviced her to go, Y/N wont miss it

Dan

she hasnt set foot in a delt house since freshman year, you seriously think she’ll show?

Max

five bucks says she does

Dan

youre on

Noah

i just wanna make it clear

that if she does show

D I B S

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #frat!tom

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youngerdaniel · 4 years

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Youngo’s 2019 at the Movies (with Baby Yoda)

IT’S THAT TIME AGAIN, FOLKS...

Wherein this blog crawls out of the woodwork with fresh aspirations for a more consistent content strategy in the year to come. Like a Baby Yoda emerging from his floating iron egg to great the sun. So let’s dust off some cobwebs and talk about the great movies that came out in 2019.

BRIEF UPDATES FROM THE WAFFLER This year marked a turning point. No, not that fucking decade that everybody’s making a big deal about. Not even that I hit 30 but thankfully have most of my (still not totally gray) hair... Nope, I went into business for myself. I leapt off the stable lily pad of 9-5 etc. and went freelance! Life’s been full of stories since then -- both the kind I write, and the kind I get to look under the hood on. I’m happy to report I’ve written more than ever before... Just not blogs, and mostly stuff I’m not at liberty to discuss.

*Clears throat. Pulls up the collar on his trench coat.* And I may have had more hair turn gray. Turns out, running your own ship is quite a bit of work, especially when you’re teaching yourself how the hell you do it. Nevertheless, I loved the shit out of every minute of it, and I still use phrases like nevertheless. It could easily be a blog (or several) for a different time, but the short and easy explanation of the absence is I was busy, it was fun, get over it.

Besides, we don’t actually care about whatever lame excuse I have for why I haven’t been posting. We’re here because it’s 2020 and time for a listicle, dammit! This one is neither definitive nor ranked. But dang if 2019′s fodder didn’t come sauntering into theaters like the big chuckling cherub of Christmas Present, with a cornucopia of awesomeness.

THINGS I LOVED, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

UNDER THE SILVER LAKE David Robert Mitchell’s neo noir takes a fittingly existential approach to detective fiction. An enigmatic case, hidden clues and coded pop culture, Andrew Garfield’s charmingly hapless sleuth... There’s a lot to love in this weird soup of a movie. At times nightmarish, often trippy, and an excellent performance from a parrot. Late night fodder.

CLIMAX Gaspar Noe does not make sane movies. With Climax, there’s a hypnotic quality that sucks you in and drags you along on its nightmarish journey as a group of dancers drink from a punchbowl laced with drugs. The result is absolute bedlam, and everything from the lighting to the camerawork pulls its weight to put you into the action. This is the kind of thing you watch and marvel that, “Wow, they went there.” to varying degrees of satisfaction. Like a freight train barreling toward the side of a mountain, it’s hard to look away even though you know you probably should.

JOJO RABBIT And then there’s a different kind of madness. The movie that billed itself as “The movie that shouldn’t work.” Jojo Rabbit is so full of heart. This is Taika Waititi in full force, and hilarity meets real pathos. Love is better than Nazis. It’s a simple message, and I think it doesn’t need to be much more. The relevance of such a narrative in our time is pretty disappointing, but the truth seems to be that we need ones like this to come along and remind the collective. The mashup of humor with genuine drama is balanced in a way that will feel familiar to fans of THE HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE or BOY. The performances are superb, and it’s a beautiful looking film. If you missed it last year, start the new one off right and amend this problem.

US The thing I dug the most about US was how unique it felt. Original premises in horror are on the rise, and there’s no denying the man leading the wave is Jordan Peele. The social commentary elements of this followup to GET OUT play with a little more subtlety, and in some ways it almost felt like a stronger move... But I refuse to compare the two of them. US stands out in its own right, and carries some of the most memorable performances of the year. A twisting narrative that crackles with tension, and a concept that haunts the imagination. What if your every action had an equal an opposite effect on a mirrored version of yourself? A study on the impact of the class system, and a nightmarish what-if to explain the real life series of underground tunnels that span the United States. Also, that costume design! That Alexa gag! The way this one opens up at the midpoint was such a delight in the theater. I’d apologize for spoilers, but let’s be real... You’ve seen this movie.

AD ASTRA Best summed up as “Daddy Issues in Space,” AD ASTRA feels like the kind of sci-fi mysteries that were made in the late 70s and 80s. A spellbinding journey to the far edges of the galaxy to save the world, and maybe prove that aliens exist. Oh, and to stop your possibly insane father from destroying the human race on the way. Brad Pitt is on fire, and everything about this potent emotional journey remains focused on his character’s dilemma of deciding whether or not his father was a good man, what it means to him and his own isolated existence, and whether he can overcome that shit and live a life instead of taking risks. From its opening scene to its closing one, this one blends gripping life-or-death set-pieces exploring the dangers of space travel and the cyclical nature of humanity’s progress with small moments. The journey, the heart-wrenching climax, and the harrowing trip home is well worth the rental fee. Check it out.

THE GIRL ON THE THIRD FLOOR

Some horror movies exist to make you think, some exist to cover their protagonists in black goo, subject them to grueling physical and psychological lament, and chuck ‘em through a woodchipper for good measure. The Girl on the Third Floor takes your average premise of “Stubborn and troubled guy picks a fixer-upper house to flip, only to discover horrors beyond his imagining” and leans hard into the gross-outs and festering boils of body horror. Reminiscent of Evil Dead, Amityville, and Dead Alive, there’s so much insanity to love, and the movie makes some big turns -- some surprising, some daring, some a little out there. It is by no means perfect, but it’s got a charm about its rough edges. You will never look at a marble the same way again.

I LOST MY BODY

I know. “A life-affirming work” left me a little skeptical too. But from its very first frame, I LOST MY BODY is arresting. Its hypnotic narrative follows the story of a severed hand in search of its owner, and has great fun carrying you along with its troubled protagonist’s journey from a crush to obsession. The sheer amount of visual storytelling and striking imagery is worth the runtime, but for any arthouse lovers feeling a little too chilled to hop down to the nearest indie theatre can open a new tab and have at it. Didn’t expect to be as moved by this one as I was, and for that I must recommend it.

AVENGERS: ENDGAME The fact that a movie like this can even exist is pretty amazing, and I have to say, as the culmination to the Avengers saga as we know it, ENDGAME delivered something with way more heart and character than I expected. Funny, sad, bittersweet, and massively satisfying. This is the Thanksgiving Turkey dinner of movies. It’s got everything. But the best part for me was how little fighting the big superhero finale of the decade had to it. Firmly rooted in character, taking ambitious and surprising turns in their trajectories, and balancing the fanwanks with a genuinely exciting story. I mean, c’mon. Time heist? A Greatest Hits play that also recontextualizes a few of the lesser films of the sweeping franchise? The third act battle felt a little tacked-on, but the conclusion felt like exactly what we needed.

READY OR NOT I love this movie. Love it like an adorable, scrappy friend who always manages to make their social commentary entertaining. Hide and Seek turns deadly for a bride to be when she meets her future in-laws, the proprietors of a board game company that takes their product very seriously. A darkly funny survive-the-gauntlet-till-morning ride. Great characters. Awesome kills. A few really unexpected and delightfully devilish turns. Oh, and it takes a stab at privilege and how far some people are willing to go to preserve theirs. It’s got teeth, a mean bite, and it’s fun to walk around the neighborhood. If you liked YOU’RE NEXT, you will probably love this movie. I still can’t get its final few moments out of my head. And I mean that in the best way.

PARASITE Speaking of social criticism and privilege, there’s no denying the brute fucking force of PARASITE. Following a struggling family who imbed themselves into a rich family by posing as the help, this madcap game of suspense takes so many surprising turns that even describing the full plot spoils the fun. Go into this one having read as little as possible. It will take you for a spin. Part con movie, part social critique, part comedy and part tragedy, it’s a lot to digest, but it’s a damned tasty treat.

KNIVES OUT In a word, it’s fun. Rian Johnson’s locked room murder mystery packs some wonderful barbs in the side of affluence, armchair activism, and the corruptive nature of wealth. A wealthy novelist is found dead, and all of his family members have motive... But don’t let the familiar set-up fool you, KNIVES OUT plays fair with its audience, but it is a fast runner. The story jumps ahead of you almost every time you think you’ve got it figured out. Daniel Craig’s genius sleuth is full of likable energy, protagonist Marta is full of layers, and the family are all such a pleasure to watch. Several times along the trip, I had no idea where the story would turn next, or how much further the envelope could be pushed, but by the end, I came out marveling at its construction. The production design is unreal. The direction and vibe are so unique, and by the closing image, it’s nearly impossible not to enjoy the shift in values. There’s also a speech involving donuts that I will be reciting at parties for the foreseeable future.

DANIEL ISN’T REAL

I closed off the year with this wildly inventive take on the possession trope. This. Movie. Is. Nuts. Which, considering it was produced by the same folks who did MANDY, shouldn’t come as a surprise. A mind-bending tale that riffs on Jekyll and Hyde, with a great modernization tackling the concept from a mental health perspective... It’s not the first time it’s been done, but the execution is just excellent. We follow a disturbed young man whose imaginary friend hatched from a childhood trauma makes a devilish return to play hell with his adult life. It’s a psychological horror that’s FIGHT CLUB meets THE DOUBLE. Great look. Excellent creature design and visuals for a cosmic horror that makes great use of low budget devices. If you’re looking for the answer to the age old question of “Should my third act involve my protagonist battling his inner demons literally with a rooftop sword fight?” You’ve found your contender.

I’ll tell you this, reader friend. The hardest part about 2019′s slate at the box office was deciding what to see. There were so many interesting movies that came out, brimming with big ideas and social commentary. Sad as the state of the world is, there’s no denying times of unrest have a knack for yielding great art. The Trump era has made its stamp on Hollywood for better or for worse. But the rising tide of voices pushing back give me a bit of hope, and a lot of salve for the whole existential dread thing. I think that, however small it is, is good.

For what it’s worth, none of these films are reinventing the wheel or burning flags... But they are asking questions. Okay, CLIMAX, really isn’t asking anything, but it is fun as hell. There’s just as much merit in the salve as there is in the flame that caused the burn. So may your 2020 be full of entertainment. I’ll try to get some useful content up here at least every couple of months in smaller digestible forms. Now go forth and brunch, you hungover, resolution-breaking slob.

#journal #yearinmovies #2019 #year in review #baby yoda #movies #writing

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twdmusicboxmystery · 5 years

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10x03: Ghosts - Details

Let’s talk details today. I realized (because several people told me) that I didn't talk about the Carol/Daryl kitchen scene yesterday. I totally meant to talk about it. My post yesterday had so much in it, I didn't realize that I left it out. I'll get to that in this post.

***As always, spoilers abound below for 10x03: Ghosts. Don’t read until you’ve watched!***

Opening Sequence:

I talked about the numbers at the beginning. I won’t go into details about the numbers leading up to 44. I'm sure they probably have significance, but I think I already pointed out the things that are most relevant to TD.

I forgot to mention something yesterday about the 49. @wdway had the insight that, in terms of history, Alaska was the 49th state to enter the United States union. That may seem random to you, but those of us who have studied the symbolism for a long time are familiar with this. Why? Because we saw so much Alaska symbolism in S6 around the wolves. Remember we saw the Alaska license plate in 5x16.

The Alaska license plate has a flag with stars on it reflect the Sirius symbolism. So, the wolves (possibly the Whisperers), and Alaska are very entangled with Beth symbolism. The 49th hour could also represent Alaska and the wolves, which is just another way to point to Beth's return.

It's also important to note that we see a lot of binoculars in this episode. The characters look at walkers coming toward them from far off, so the binoculars theme is strong.

At the group meeting, Lydia says she doesn't believe Alpha is sending the walkers. We don't know who is if she isn't, but I think Eugene gives the explanation we’re supposed to accept. He believes the satellite falling from the sky and subsequent fire is bringing in walkers from all directions. Iet was bad luck that the satellite touched down near TF's communities, and they might be dealing with a lot of walkers for a while. We also see that the highwaymen want revenge on Alpha for killing two of theirs on the pikes. I think they’re probably setting up something there.

Rule of Threes:

A few examples I didn’t mention yesterday. After the town meeting, they divide into three groups. Father Gabriel will lead Alexandria in fighting waves of walkers coming from the north. This is where Rosita and Eugene are. It basically means staying in Alexandria and fighting them as they reached the fence.

Aaron and Negan go south to fight off the walkers coming from that direction. As Eugene said, the ones coming from the south are more dispersed and therefore somewhat easier to kill.

The third group is Daryl, Carol, and Michonne, who go to the northern border to meet Alpha. Another example of threes and also the north symbol.

Another example of threes comes when Negan and Aaron argue while fighting walkers. Aaron doesn't want Negan to have the crowbar because he doesn't trust him with a weapon like that. Negan finally relents and picks up the broomstick. Then Aaron says, "three coming in on your side." So he turns to fight three walkers. A small instance of three, but it’s there nonetheless.

Rosita and Eugene:

The first time we seem Rosita and Eugene, they're fighting at Alexandria together. Rosie asks, "You want to go back, don't you?" Eugene answers, "No, I'm good." It's a small scene, but the dialogue is very Bethyl-ish. It houses both the "you can't go back," theme we saw in S5, in the “No, I'm good,” reminded me of Beth singing, We’ll Be Good in Alone.

Meeting Alpha:

This was pretty straightforward and were obviously setting up a Carol vs Alpha arc. We saw the H coin Lydia left at the base of Henry's Pike.

Another instance of threes comes when Alpha points out that she knows TF has crossed her land three times. Once during winter storm, once during the fire, and once when Michonne and Aaron were on the bridge. I have to wonder how she knows all that. They’ve shown very obviously that she and Beta were not in the area, so how does she know. Did some of the Whisperers stay in the area? Maybe. Did she set up cameras? No idea. But it's very intriguing.

Aaron and Negan:

It's also important to note that Aaron and Negan fight walkers near a green and yellow tractor. Obviously, the colors catch our attention, but I thought of two times we've noticed tractors that are tangled up with Beth symbolism.

The first was in S6. Just before Glenn's death fake out, he and Nicholas and Heath went to a tractor store to kill all the walkers there. It's kind of interesting because this was right before Glenn's death fake out, which has parallels to Beth's. But it's also interesting that Heath was there, and now he's with the helicopter people, the same as Rick.

I’ve also talked recently about the theme of having a weak character die while a strong character lives. I mentioned it with Lizzie and Mika, as well as Gamma and her sister. Nicholas and Glenn were another example of this.

We should talk about the hog weed. I talked about Aaron's blindness yesterday, and how this walker looked a lot like the Cherokee Rose walker from 6x06. The other thing is that Negan says the green stuff covering this walker is hogweed. Not only is that a pig reference, but this is a real weed you can look up. It does cause rashes and blindness. The reason Negan knew what it was is because he got a burn on his arm. Hogweed is an interesting choice because it flowers in a similar way to carrots. Only, it's very toxic where carrots are obviously not.

At one point, Negan makes random reference to the story of America. I thought that was kind of an odd thing for him to say until @wdway pointed out the 49th hour being an Alaska reference. It might be a way of saying that the US history is important in the symbolism. Remember, we’ve also seen paintings about US history, including the Thanksgiving painting and the Crossing of the Delaware painting.

When Aaron gets to the cabin, he's thrashing around and walkers get inside the door. Negan kills them. We had a couple of other Beth callbacks here. I noticed Negan said, "You all right?" It's a pretty generic thing to say, but I remember our fandom making a big deal about Daryl saying that to Beth in the graveyard. Because it showed he cared if she was all right or not. And remember that in this parallel, Negan = Daryl and Aaron = Beth.

Negan also asked if Aaron had washed out his eyes. Aaron said that he used water to wash them out and it was gone. Negan gives him water to drink. So, an example of someone running out of water once again.

Carol/Daryl/Michonne in the school:

I talked about how because of the dog on the outside, I believe everything is a reference to Beth's return. First off, let's note that we see a lot of broken glass here. A lot of it. (Broken glass theory).

Then there's the clock with no hands. @frangipanilove, @wdway and I have actually talked a lot about what this might mean. We haven't settled on anything concrete yet. I think we need to see a few more examples of it before we know for certain.

For me, I think part of it is that Carol is sort of in prison in her own mind. So, the clock with no hands may represent a prison or the fact that time is not passing for some reason.

@frangipanilove had a really good insight. She suggested since we saw a lot of clocks around Beth (that's where the clock symbolism originated, because someone asked Gimple if the clocks at Grady were important and he said yes) perhaps a clock with no hands represents zero time. In other words, perhaps when there is no more time, that’s when Beth will return. I think that's a really great insight because something else in this episode points to the same thing and it’s sort of an adjacent symbol.

Next to the clock is a flu poster. It occurred to me this could be connected to the radiation/sickness theme.

We see the egg timers around Carol. The thing about egg timers is that they always count down. If you set a timer for 30 minutes, it counts backward from 30 to 0 and when it hits zero, the bell goes off. We see the egg timer several different times around Carol and it always counts down to zero.

Remember also that in 4x16, A, Joe Claimer talked about New Year's Eve and the ball dropping and counting backward down to zero. This is a theme we've seen before. We’re thinking that the timer represents counting down to Beth's return and when it hits zero, she’ll show up. Seeing the egg timers go off three different times in the school represents this, and the clocks with no hands on them may too.

Of course, my opinion on this may change as we learn more.

I talked yesterday about how Daryl looks through the broken glass. I instantly recognized this as a Coda call back. We saw the gov look through glass when he went to the funeral home in 4x06, and that had a ton of Beth foreshadowing in it. Rick did the same thing at Grady just before Beth was shot. Now we see both Daryl and Carol do the same thing. So this is definitely a call back to Coda.

In the school, Carol says, "I'll take first watch." That's a call back to Consumed when she told him the same thing. This part looked visually similar to Consumed because it's her and Daryl in a dark building. They’re not alone, of course, and as I talked about yesterday, there also a lot of callbacks to Still, as well.

In the part where Daryl told the story about his father driving truck, there's a couple of details I didn't mention. Carol calls his dad a “meth-snorting trucker.” That’s a callback to Merle’s crystal meth, but also remember that Daryl mentioned the tweaker who used to sell to Merle in Still. So, this is a reference to Still.

Daryl mentions that the girl in the story, on the side of the road is crying. Think Beth in Inmates. He also mentions that when he thought he hit her, his dad called the local PD. Grady anyone? And even the way they sit with their feet flat & knees pointed to the ceiling is very reminiscent of how Beth and Daryl sat on the porch of the moonshine shack. Oh yeah, and the walls of this room are painted bright yellow. Just saying.

One other thing: his references to I-66 and Kentucky jumped out at me as significant. I couldn’t remember other times we’d specifically seen either in the show, so I Googled. The I-66 in Kentucky is a real thing. There’s a main drag that runs from Kentucky to Kansas, and to the East, one of its termination points is near D.C. Makes sense as a reference, right. But I also found out (HERE) that there were originally plans to extend it all the way through California. Those plans got cancelled in the ‘90s and the highway was never extended, but if it had been, it would have gone directly though New Mexico. So this is actually a cloaked New Mexico reference. Definitely a foreshadow.

In the gym sequence, Carol stepped into a noose, which makes it part of the hanging theme we've seen before. We also saw soccer balls a lot. I'm not sure what that represents, but the camera focuses on them several times.

@bethgreeneprevails also pointed out some parallels to Beth in this sequence that I totally missed. Carol stepped into a trap with her foot—like Beth did in Alone. With her foot in the trap, she shoots at a walker—like Beth did in Alone. And her cutting her arm where she did, with glass no less, is a parallel to Beth’s suicide arc in S2. I was trying to compare it to her bandaged arm in S5, which is the opposite arm. But in S2 she cut her left arm with a piece of glass. Coincidence?

Which leads to another theory we’ve been batting around. I said yesterday that we didn’t see her sustain the injury. We’re kind of wondering if, also paralleling Beth in S2, Carol did it to herself. I don’t know if it would have been conscious or unconscious, and I truly don’t think Carol is actually one to commit suicide. But it wouldn’t be the first time we saw a character self-harm to relieve grief. *coughs Daryl* I’ll come back to this in a minute.

Let's talk more about Carol's hallucinations. I said yesterday, I think there were three hallucination sequences inside the school. I don't count her seeing the home economics book, because I don't think that was a hallucination sequence. I think that was her seeing things while awake. But the other three were almost more like extended dream sequences.

I think the first one was when Daryl told her the story about the truck and the missing girl. That was dream sequence number one, and as they stand up, we hear the egg timer go off.

Dream sequence number two was when she walked to the glass window that was broken and saw the Samara walker inside. Then she sees Henry and hears him call her mom. It looks like she's about to get stabbed by the Samara walker when suddenly she wakes up.

That's when Daryl finds her and says she's been gone for half an hour and tells her his dad was not a trucker. After that, the egg timer goes off. So because of the nightmare, she actually woke herself up prior to the alarm that time. But when Daryl tells her his dad was not a trucker, she was definitely awake then.

As soon as he leaves, she sees movement in the corridor and starts chasing it. This is when she goes into the gym. The gym is her third dream sequence.

I've also said that I think each of them represent something. I'm not entirely sure what yet but here's a few musings.

I said Daryl’s story about the girl disappearing in front of the truck sounds a lot like Beth and her body disappearing in Atlanta. So perhaps that represents the past. The second hallucination was Carol seeing blood and a dark walker and then Henry. I think this represents what she's dealing with now. Specifically, Henry's death. The dark girl (Samara) walker might represent Carol's own inner darkness and the demons she's dealing with. They’re literally haunting her dreams and chasing her around.

And the third sequence in the gym? Again, I can't be sure, but I think it represents the future. Something about the Whisperers will lure Carol into a trap. Perhaps that will lead to Ezekiel's death fake out. I said yesterday that I thought maybe their group ran into walkers outside the school and that's where Carol got the glass in her arm, but we didn't see it. I was thinking about that work in terms of what it meant for Carol, but it occurred to me it could foreshadow Ezekiel's arc.

Perhaps Carol will be lured into a trap by the Whisperers and it will lead to Ezekiel's death fake out. (Hence not seeing some interaction with walkers. That would perhaps symbolize Carol not realizing Ezekiel is still alive. It also lines up well with not seeing what happened with Beth and the walkers after Coda, and Daryl not realizing she is alive either.) Something like that. Only after that do we see the female whisperer’s eyes open, which probably represents Beth’s return.

Again, this is conjecture on my part and my interpretations will probably change as the arc unfolds. This is what I'm leaning toward now.

Let’s talk about the kitchen sequence.

They played a song called Care of Cell 44. Again, we kind of freaked out and realize there's a song by this name the show. There’s the 44 again, which is the issue where Andrea was shot in the head and survived. We actually saw a 44 on a magazine at the end of Coda with Morgan. Aside from being an obvious reference to Andrea’s comic book arc, you could also argue that we saw a 44 the end of Coda and now are seeing on again, which suggests the event of Coda are coming back around.

Think of it in terms of music. When you play music, there are signs at the beginning and ending of the coda to tell you when to start the coda, and when to end it, especially if there are repeats. So we saw a 44 at the end of 5x08, after Beth was shot. Now we’re seeing them in a big way again.

Back to Care of Cell 44. My thoughts immediately went to 7x03, The Cell. Daryl was a prisoner at the Sanctuary. Anyone who cared to interpret the symbolism there knew it was all about Beth. They played a song a lot like the one Beth sang at the prison in S3 and Daryl started to cry.

Also remember that even though Angela Kang wasn't show runner yet she wrote both The Cell and the episode in S3 where Beth sang. She put similar songs in both episodes. So it's important to note that music always has importance for Angela. And now she’s the show runner and doing an amazing job.

So we hear this song play during the kitchen sequence and it’s a fairly upbeat song. It reminded me of the upbeat songs we saw around her in 6a when she was making cookies and killing walkers, as well as songs we heard in 5b, such as the Bee Gees Spicks and Specks, which talks about leaving a girl behind.

So I know certain shippers are freaking out about this dream sequence, but that’s kind of laughable. I have three things to say about it.

1) There is nothing remotely romantic in it. It lasts about 15 seconds and Daryl and Carol barely look at each other. I also had the thought that their positioning in the kitchen, with Carol on the right and in front and Daryl on the left and slightly behind, looks a whole lot like when Deanna and Spencer fought in the kitchen in S6. If anything, that's backs up the idea of Carol and Daryl being mother and son in the sequence.

2) I don't think we've seen all of the sequence yet. I think it might follow a pattern similar to Rick's Old Man Coda/Carl’s vision for the future. In S8, we saw a little bit at a time. First, we saw Rick waking up, then later he went out into the main room and talking to Michonne. Then later we saw Judith come in, Rick talk to Carl, and eventually Rick taking Judith out through Alexandria to where Negan was working. But not until Carl died and they explained that this was his vision for the future did we actually see the full sequence, nor did it make sense.

I think there might be something similar here. Because the way Carol’s kitchen dream cut off, without much hint as to what it all means, makes it feel very unfinished. I kind of hate to speculate on where it's going (although, you know me, I will ;D) because I just don't think we have all the puzzle pieces yet. I think we’ll see more of this dream throughout the season, and we’ll get a little more with each time.

The other option is that maybe we won't see more, but some point Carol will explain something that's going on in her own head that will make this make sense. Either way, I don't think we can do much correct interpretation of this yet.

But!

I will give you two possibilities that are thought of. Just keep in mind that they will most likely change if we learn anything new.

So here goes. The fact that Henry is in the dream is important. He's wearing his compass rose T-shirt. The compass rose is part of the Sirius/North Star symbolism, and also remember how heavily Henry was paralleled with Beth when he was still alive. So, I'm thinking that Henry being in this sequence symbolically represents Beth being there.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Carol says she needs jam and Daryl tells her to go get some. We don't actually see her go, that the point is, she’s out of jam needs to go find some.

Remember that this is the episode where we had the peanut butter and jelly reference from FG, and that is definitely a Bethyl thing. Jam and jelly are the same thing. I feel like this is part of the peanut butter and jelly theme.

Beth = peanut butter and Daryl = jam. Carol and Daryl are the two similar ones in these relationships. In other words, Carol and Daryl are alike. They're the ones that are prone to pessimism, isolation, and self-destructiveness. Their significant others, Beth and Ezekiel, also similar. There are more prone to optimism, faith, and positivity. So the jam would actually represent both Carol and Daryl.

I think the fact that they’re out of jam and looking for more perhaps represents that neither of them are in a happy, romantic relationships with their significant others right now. They're not currently the jam to someone else's peanut butter currently. And then Carol almost leaves to get more. My first thought was this was simply another way of saying that Daryl and Carol will go on some sort of trip together, looking for their significant others.

Then I considered Henry. I'm thinking he might represent Beth in this equation. So maybe it's something more like they'll find Beth first and once she's with Daryl, Carol will need to leave on her own to find Ezekiel. Something like that.

And again, I'm really, really conjecturing here. Because I feel like were missing a great deal of the sequence and by the time we get it, I might realize I’m completely off in this interpretation. I'm okay with that. I'm just telling you some of the thoughts that gone through my head so far. Then we also see Carol's watch with no hands on it.

If it means Beth’s return, what I've said here already would make sense. It could also represent Carol being in her own prison and needing to break out of it by going to look for the jam. Again, just some thoughts.

That takes care of the symbolism side of things, but I wanted to talk about something more literal concerning Carol. It was something Angela Kang said on TTD. (I’ll talk more about TTD tomorrow.) She was describing this scene and she talked about it in a way that hadn’t occurred to me until I heard her say it. For Carol, the scene is very carefree and upbeat. UNTIL she sees Henry sitting there. That’s when Carol wakes up and starts to cry.

So, according to AK, the reason Carol doesn’t want to sleep is because when she sleeps, she dreams of her dead children, and she can’t bear it. I could tell Angela was almost in tears talking about this with Carol. She obviously has a lot of sympathy for Carol’s character. I thought it was sweet.

And this may possibly counter what I said above. About seeing more of this dream. Maybe we will, maybe we won’t. But the reason it cut off so suddenly is because she saw Henry and woke herself up. Then immediately looked for more pills, which she didn’t have.

My point? AK confirmed this hallucination was not about Daryl. Not at all. The breakfast is just Carol’s idea of normalcy. Hanging out with her BFF. Eating breakfast. Being happy. But the point of having this in the episode is how messed up she still is about Henry.

And actually, that’s built right into the title. I think the ghost girl story Daryl told (technically Carol told it because it was her subconscious ;D) was a symbol/foreshadow having to do with Beth. But from a more literal standpoint, this was all about Carol’s ghosts. The ghosts of the children she’s lost.

I think the foreshadowing is showing where her dark, destructive frame of mind will eventually take her, and what it will lead to in the show.

Also, it occurred to me this might support our self-harm theory. Much like after Daryl lost Beth (and remember Henry was heavily paralleled with her while alive) Carol might be self-harming to deal with her grief.

I think that’s all I have for today. Thoughts?

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 5 years

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okay, y’all, i’ve gotta back on my tl;dr bullshit soapbox about something:

so, the other day, i was just mindlessly scrolling through my corporate & capitalist hellscape facebook™️ (i.e. LinkedIn) and came across this totally trite mostly bullshit meme that was shared by some corporate executive search man (whose name i decided to crop out bc eh):

so i obviously agree with the last three points on this list, bc god yes my life would’ve been a bit better if I didn’t get all my dialogue about mental health only from teen mags and horrible portrayals in teen tv shows (and also this hellsite). and hell yeah everyone, and I mean EVERYONE needs to learn that failure is okay many situations (like failing a class in uni or school) bc everyone fails at something sometimes. and dealing with failure is HARD. and time management is something that I’m pretty sure everyone lies to fuckin hell about on their resume, bc lots of people really suck at it, myself included. so yeah. that needs to be taught. and i also agree with the “how to manage your health” point. bc thats becoming ever more prevalent and important with career burn out etc.

but entrepreneurship? people management? conflict resolution? creativity? how to manage money? public speaking? like y’all. three of those ARE taught/learned in school, who the fuck wrote this meme?

for anyone who actually paid attention in maths class, (which is probably very few people outside of the top performing classes), there WAS A WHOLE FUCKING UNIT that focuses on financial maths (in australia anyway). I ignored this unit as well as maths in general at school, bc I generally hated maths and was convinced that I was somehow never going to get a job. but i remember the gist of the overall topic and its subtopics. one subtopic teaches you how to calculate your wages in various contexts (overtime, double-time and a half, holiday payments, im pretty sure maternity leave pay was jammed in somewhere? idk if other countries would have double time & a 1/2 like australia though). another subtopic teaches you how to calculate interest on bank loans and credit rates on credit cards. a third subtopic teaches you how to calculate savings (obvs in terms of discounts in shops)....im sure there was a bit about budgeting in there somewhere? im pretty sure there were some questions were about tax payments somewhere as a subtopic enrichment exercise? but you get my gist. are these not money management skills? in some sense? like if i could find one of my old maths textbooks or old maths books i’d give an example of a question, to make my point stronger. but the problem, like i said before, is that a load of people (myself included) just zone out in maths in high school and stop trying with it. they forget what they’ve learnt, and just remember how much they hated algebra and how they’ll never use it again. maths was one hell of a fucking strong bitch, guys. but maybe i’m wrong.

creativity? excuse me? have people forgotten about art classes? drama classes? english classes? music classes? need i go on? okay don’t get me wrong, most of these classes did focus a lot on memorising quotes or facts about people (artists/writers/poets/composers/dramatists etc) or specific periods/movements in art or theatre or literature for example.... but the amazing sculptures/paintings etc people created in art for their final projects in year 12, or even in year 10 were works of their imagination. the scripts people write in drama or maybe english (if you had a fun teacher who did a screenwriting unit, for example) are creative asf. especially in year 12 when they do their major projects, where they may produce a monologue or a short movie, and then there’s a group piece. drama students might even make their own costumes for these performances. LIKE AIN’T THAT A LOT OF CREATIVITY RIGHT THERE Y’ALL????? and english. lowly old english. THEY HAVE A WHOLE FUCKING TOPIC ON CREATIVE WRITING FOR FUCKS SAKE. the original music people might create for their final projects too in year 12? does that not count as creativity? like yes, i know a lot of these things do still have to meet bs assessment criteria (especially in catholic schools, where the main things are you don’t offend the catholic education office and jesus/god lmao) to be considered worthy of a mark for your year 12 exams. but FUCK. HOW THE FUCK AREN’T ANY OF THESE SUBJECTS COUNTED TOWARDS BEING CREATIVE???????? like fuck your corporate creative ideation or w/e bullshit, Callum. drama and english even lend themselves to improvisation in some instances, like public speaking, which is examined further, below.

next, we move on to public speaking. this shit is basically taught from the first goddamn day of “show & tell” in kindy/kindergarten, and this fucker has the gall to say that it’s not fucking taught in schools? someone call in miley cyrus/hannah montana to throw the fuck down in this motherfucking hoedown BC THIS STUPID-ASS MEME-FUCKER HAS NERVE. i hated public speaking. absolutely hated it. even though it was ironically one of the places i ended up excelling in in english classes. even when i fucked up in my english speeches with like “oh, fuck.... said nelson mandela, i’ve seem to’ve lost my palm card. wait, shit! there it is... excuse me while i pull it out of my ass. whoops, sorry miss” *bats eyes and finger guns at my year 9 english teacher who has her head in her hands and is done with my shit, while the class laughs at my gaffe* i’d still end up with like 73% or like 26/30. it was baffling. but for people who weren’t the class clown/smart alec like i was from years 7-10 (and like i actually wasn’t once i moved schools).... public speaking is like the leading cause of anxiety, right? like by the time i got to doing speeches/presentations at uni i was having panic attacks... the thought of presenting to my classes made me fucking sick with fear and anxiety. nearly every subject i did at uni (even when i tried to avoid subs with public speaking assessments) and throughout school had some type of presentation/speech whatever you want to call it project/activity in it. even fucking SPORT/PDHPE at school and even philosophy at uni. and these fuckers are saying its not taught in schools. FUCK OFF. like yeah, i get that they actually mean it in the professional sense.... where people can give the sappy bs motivational speeches or an insightful ted-talk worthy 20-minute presentation... or a great sales pitch. but like??? save that for mike “my dad phoned in to EY and i have a job waiting for me after uni” mcfuck in a business major or law degree? or for clubs like toastmasters? fuck. ok enough of the skills we learn in school. let’s move onto the businesslike-sounding ones of “people management”, “conflict management” and fucking “entrepreneurship”. like. what the fuck? okay in some sense people management and conflict management could potentially be used in managing friendships and relationships in your personal life. but like. i can feel the business underpinnings and i dont like it lmao. like why do you want fully functioning adults straight out of school, franklin? and there’s extra credit conflict management subjects at uni??? or at least my home uni had it... and i never did them bc they were intensive courses during summer break lol. but the one that pissed me off the most was entrepreneurship. LIKE ARE KIDS NOT FUCKING ALLOWED TO BE KIDS NOW????? well apparently: “NO! YOU MUST ALWAYS THINK OF MONEY MAKING WAYS TO BE RICH! YOU MUST BE ENTREPRENEURIAL!!!!!! YOU MUST GENERATE BUSINESS IDEAS FROM THE TIME YOU CAN FUCKIN’ WALK!!!!! AND SPEAK!!! CHILDHOOD AND BEING A TEENAGER DON’T EXIST WORKER BEE!!!! CAPITALISM FOR ALL!!!! WORKER BEES!!! CAPITALISM IS YOUR FRIEND!!! OWN A BUSINESS BY THE TIME YOU’RE 8 YEARS OLD!” like it’s insidious asf. and it doesn’t acknowledge that most entrepreneurs are already privileged people anyway, who usually have some type of money to start off their venture (or that’s what it feels like anyway). and yeah throw all the “THIS BOY IS AN ENTREPRENEUR AT 18!!! 18!!!???? BY STARTING HIS OWN BUSINESS AT 12!!!! WHAT A CHAMP! 😁🙃” clickbait news stories at me, but i don’t fucking care. the concept and perceived over-importance and almost preaching mindset of entrepreneurship is slowly becoming insidious and toxic asf. call me paranoid. but that’s what it feels like.

but with those last three topics, i want to make a point that school curriculum’s (in australia at least, and probably worldwide) are so jam-packed already with sport (which is pointless and shitty), geography (ok how to read maps is important, but i never bothered to learned to do it properly), history, science, english etc etc etc..... that like.... where the actual fuck are the gonna jam the above bs (people management”, “conflict management” and entrepreneurship) into the curriculum???? and also teachers are already over-worked enough as it is, they don’t need another load of shitty subjects pushed onto them. and they sure asf don’t earn enough (especially in the states) to have this bs pushed into their subject schedules either. keep them at uni, where they should be. or just in the workplace/in the general public where they belong. and if people suggest that you could probably push these subjects into the year 11/12 business studies programs or elective commerce courses in years 9/10, save your goddamn breath. like i remember looking at business studies hsc papers in years 11/12 to see what they did.... and it was pretty chock-a-block anyway. and my experience of my year 9 commerce was horrible, to say the least. let kids be kids, for fucks sake. they shouldn’t have to be fully functioning adults in the workplace, by the end of high school, for fucks sake. AND ENTREPRENEURSHIP IS NOT AN ESSENTIAL SKILL????!!!! FUCK OFF WITH THAT SHIT, WILHELM. anyway. that’s my rant over about how i hate how corporate people are trying to be #relatablewiththeyouth🙃 with their shitty versions of “10 things i wish we learned in school” memes.... and failing.... without realising that this is why millennials are suspicious and cynical about meme usage by corporate people/corporations.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ranty mcrantrant #ilona rants about shit #warning: a too long didnt read/tl;dr post #for lazy tumblr peeps who never read long posts is ahead #BEWARE!!!’#and strap in for the ride #but yeah tl:dr ahead #learn to read long form posts you fucks #it was in my replies #so read my tags y’all

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e-one-seven · 5 years

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Warning: this post is long. If you are interested on my theories on DST lore you can click on “Keep reading” below. If you don’t you can skip it. This whole post is the ultimate evidence that studying Foreign Literature at university was a really bad idea as now I see hidden subtexts everywhere! And having had some years to work on this theory didn't help either... I will be happy to see it crushed by Klei guys themselves with the release of the actual lore in a few weeks, because they are up to something big and I'm ready to have my mind blown!

I think it's time for me to confess a little Don't Starve Together headcanon of mine I never really revealed to anyone until now: I seriously think that Wilson might be Charlie and Winona's younger brother, or at least a younger half-brother. I am not saying this just because their haircuts bear some similarities. There are some serious clues in game leading to that direction, and I found basically no counterarguments strong enough to deny the theory. I don’t know if these are funny coincidences or not, but they were enough to fill more than four Words pages and I am not one to believe in coincidences.

So the evidences I gathered could be summed up like this:

Charlie and Wilson act like they know each other in A New Reign Cinematic; she is the Night Monster, so of course they know each other! However, why did she choose to set him free revealing her true form despite her wanting to hide it and why did she let Wilson live to tell the tale?

It is confirmed that Charlie has one sister, but there might be other siblings or family members no one mentioned yet. And thanks to the information released by Klei it is possible to confirm that Wilson is young enough to possibly be Charlie and Winona's brother;

There are clues that Winona might be born into a rich family she estranged herself from because of her lifestyle (and possibly guilt for Charlie's supposed demise); the same applies to Wilson too, though the reasons of his estrangement are not clear;

We still have no way to know exactly where all these characters are from exactly, but it is implied that Winona traveled through all the USA and that Wilson at least completed his education in the USA.

It is confirmed that Wilson is a European immigrant; if we take Charlie’s Rose species name in account, her and Winona could possibly be of Anglo-Irish descent.

Wilson and Shadow Charlie share a similar haircut (and so does Winona to a lesser extend); Winona and Charlie's face structure is similar and it looks totally different from Wilson's, but there is an example in game that blood relatives could not look like each other at all (Maxwell and Wendy).

Wilson's new darkness quote is very similar to one of Maxwell's quotes about Abigail.

Wilson seems to have personality traits and interests in common with both Charlie and Winona;

We were told that Winona went to the Constant to save someone: despite their relationships being known, Charlie and Robert Wagstaff might not be the person she was looking for, at least according to her original character quotes.

The explanations and the results of some researches I made to confirm or deny my theory are better expressed below divided in four parts.

1) A New Reign Cinematic

This less than two minutes cinematic is mute like almost every Don't Starve related animation, but it's so full of emotion it's simply beautiful. And it is the only time we can see Charlie being herself before becoming the Shadow Queen, so I watched it again and again, even slowed down so I could fully enjoy every seconds of it (and a lot of DST fellow fans out there probably did too).

I have to admit that I always had the impression that Charlie booped Wilson's nose before setting him free, and that was for sure a factor in developing this theory as you boop your boyfriend or your little brother's nose, not a unknown person you just met. But Wilson being Charlie's brother would explain why she chose to set him free in the first place: before Wilson there was Maxwell, and despite all the powers he gained by being the Shadow King him being trapped on the Throne was still a torture. Wilson did not want to become the new King and so he was desperately fighting against Them and their corruption. Charlie hates to be seen, yet she chose to reveal herself to Wilson and she became the new Queen to prevent him to become like herself and Maxwell and this is a thing that every good big sister would do for their little brother. Furthermore, Charlie had to muster some serious self-control before doing that stunt because I am seriously convinced that any other character in Wilson's place would have died there and then. Charlie was smiling at the beginning of the cinematic, but her eyebrows betrayed her being extremely worried too. When Wilson is not in the Throne Room anymore she is much more relaxed, because she did what she came for and Wilson survived: it doesn't matter what will become of her from then on, and maybe that factor made the fusion with her Shadow self possible.

And about Maxwell, I think that dragging her theoretical little brother in that hellish world where Charlie herself could be the cause of his death would be a more than valid reason for Charlie to hate Maxwell's guts even more than she did before. That could be the reason why Maxwell’s death caused by Darkness is listed as "Charlie" instead. I checked it, despite Winona is canonically able to recognize Charlie as the Darkness like Maxwell, her death cause is still listed as "Darkness". But it is impossible to tell if it is a developers' oversight.

2) What we know about their backgrounds

Digging into the William Carter Puzzles Charlie's ad requisition caught my curiosity. It says "should have a curious demeanor and a keen interest in the mysteries of the universe." This description could fit Wilson too. We know next to nothing about who Charlie used to be before she became the Night Monster, aside that she was William Carter's assistant and she cared a lot about him. In her letters Charlie mentions only one sister, Winona, because she frequently visited her (or, more likely, they lived together when she was not working with Maxwell). But frequent visits to her sister don't exclude the possibility of other relatives or siblings existing somewhere else. This happened in 1905 and Charlie disappeared the following year, exactly fifteen years before the events of Don't Starve in 1921. Charlie and Winona were young adults and they probably moved away from their family. According to Charlie's last letter her family owned a cabin used as holiday house in BC, implying that Charlie and Winona's birth family was been rich enough to afford a holiday house in the first place.

BC commonly stands for "British Columbia" in Canada, a popular place for a family to have a holiday cabin nowadays. But it can also stand for Bay City, Michigan. Bay City is located near Saginaw Bay on Lake Huron, so it could be a possible place to locate a holiday cabin for the family. For some bonus points, Bay City merged with West Bay City in 1905; West Bay City was created in 1877 from the union of the villages of Banks, Salzburgh and Wenona. Wenona is an alternative spelling of the name "Winona": if the Bay City theory is correct she might have been born during a time where the old name of the area could have been still used by population and her parents might have liked it enough to name their first daughter like the old village. I wanted to see if BC could have another meaning and that was the result. But it might be just a funny coincidence.

Back to the job question, Charlie actually replied for an application that actually has not a great paycheck (during that time most performers were barely able to sustain themselves and Maxwell himself got some debts during his first years) and that required a cultured person who knew how to appear in front of an audience: during that time having an education was still a luxury for wealthy families and same goes with clothes dapper enough to look good by Maxwell's side. Her Shadow Queen's form fancy dress seems to confirm this theory. So the only real reason she could need to work is her living really far away from her family and that required her to look for any kind of job to be able to survive for the long run.

What do we know about Wilson? As he is in his 30s in 1921, he was a likely teenager in 1906, and as Klei recently said, "maybe a European USA Immigrant? We never really picked a home land for him." Thinking about this last statement, we can say that during that time that description could fit basically most of the American population back in the 1920s. They actually said nothing. BUT, in 2014, a fan posted on Tumblr another message from Klei that gives us some interesting information: these are the evidences that despite it all it might be legit:

I checked on DS and DST credits, there really is a Jan Hatchings.

The first thing Jan says is that Klei prefers to be the fan finding out about the past of the characters exploring the game: a nice way to say they are not allowed to spill too many beans. (I want the character updates and the new characters! I want to know what they are hiding!)

He confirmed some information we already knew (Wilson being in his 30s, the game being set in early 1920s) adding that he was living in New England at the time of the trailer: New England is the Northeastern area of the United States, it is bordered with Canada, three of the most important colleges of the United States are there (Yale, Harvard and the MIT) and there are a lot of woods. The perfect area for a lonesome scientist to live in.

He mentions his family not wanting to talk to him;

Jan invites the person who originally shared the message to join the official forum.

So Wilson most likely completed his instruction in the United States or he sought affiliation with American colleges, and that would be weird for a person who grew up in the United Kingdom, as he would be already close to some of the most prestigious and oldest colleges and academic associations in the world. That's why I think the "immigration" part might mean that he was born into a British family immigrated in the US and he actually grew up in the United States (and maybe not even Klei knows if Wilson's family moved in before or after he was born). As he had a nanny as a kid and, as already pointed out, college education was something that only wealthy families could afford back then, we can assume Wilson was born into a rich family that for some reason moved to America.

Like BC, New England area is pretty popular for its holiday cabins so it makes sense for Wilson to have lived into one of them. He was isolated, yet possibly close to a scientific center of interest like a university. Even if he bought the house or someone else did it for him, for sure Wilson needed some money to live in there and being a Gentleman Scientist is a risky profession for a safe paycheck. Quoting Wikipedia:

"An independent scientist (modern gender-neutral term historically also known as gentleman scientist) is a financially independent scientist who pursues scientific study without direct affiliation to a public institution such as a university or government-run research and development body. [...] Most independent scientists have at some point in their career been affiliated with some academic institution, such as Charles Darwin, who was affiliated with the Geological Society of London. [...] Self-funding has the disadvantage that funds may be more restricted; [...] It also permits the scientist to have greater control over research directions, as funding bodies direct grants towards interests that may not coincide with that of the scientist. [...] Scientists may choose to work on unusual projects with high risk of failure also when the grant system does not fund them. A scientist could be attributed the status of independent scientist if they work on such projects during a gap between two academic positions, for example."

So Wilson being a Gentleman Scientist means that he was the one and only person who worked on his own projects with no external funds from government and scientific institutions. If his research failed he could have ended in some serious economic trouble. He might have had some help from universities, but that could have not be enough. But it makes sense for Wilson being a Gentleman Scientist if his parents died and he inherited their money or a part of it. That would make him economically independent enough to perform his experiments with no considerable help.

But then, if his parents are presumably dead, who is the family who doesn't want to speak to him? It would be easy to say that his extended family thinks him to be a mad scientist and decided they don't want to have nothing to do with him. But this doesn't deny the theory "Wilson is Charlie's brother": if we take this theory in account, his only currently known immediate family members are Charlie and Winona. Charlie was presumed dead in 1906, while Winona probably got estranged from her parents because of her lifestyle and maybe even accused to have caused her sister's death. Even if their parents are dead, why Winona should think that her brother would be different? To her he is just a spoiled child who attended a fancy university and that probably spends all the day talking nonsense with other eggheads. Also her constant moving through the country will make keep contacts really difficult, so she simply didn't. Sadly a lot of people do it for even pettier reasons.

And, for some bonus point, Wickerbottom recognizes Charlie's Rose as a "Rosa Macdub", or a "Dublin Bay climbing rose". A rich Irish family immigrating from a country where uprisings were a Tuesday for at least one century would make sense. And it would not even directly conflict with the theory as the richest families residing in Ireland were of English descent and all Ireland was a part of the United Kingdom until 1919. So despite Wilson being a perfect "British gentleman" kind of character, the possibility of Charlie and Winona being Irish or Anglo-Irish descent doesn't deny the theory. But I don't know if this could count as a clue about Charlie's family origin as the Dublin Bay climbing rose was actually bred for the first time in 1975 in New Zealand, with peculiar characteristics and resistance that make me think that they might be the reason for it to be chosen as Charlie’s symbol despite its anachronism. And just because of this the thing that concerns me more about this rose is not the possible reference to Charlie's birthplace, but an explanation of how Wickerbottom is able to recognize a flower from 1975 without knowing what is a license plate!

3) The similarities between the characters in game

One of the things most evident in the cinematic was that Wilson and Charlie shared a similar haircut and hairline. Haircuts are not hereditary, but unmodified hairlines and hair textures are. Winona looks a lot like Charlie, but she doesn't resemble Wilson at all except their being two light skinned people with dark hair and solid black eyes in game. Also, Winona seems to have a different hairline than Wilson and Charlie when uncovered (except in the Gorge's vignette where she sports a small widow's peak), but the hairstyle is still similar to theirs, with only one "point" out of three. However, there are even deeper similarities between these characters: Charlie is the "bookworm" sister, interested in the "mysteries of the universe"; Winona hates books and prefers to work on her mechanical creations with a trial-and-error approach. And then there is Wilson, who sits perfectly in between these mindsets. That was one of the reasons why at first I was shocked by Winona when she was released: when I already suspected that Wilson and Charlie might be related it is revealed that Charlie's sister is a work-alcoholic engineer with a weird haircut and basically a female Wilson with a tape and the ability to dodge. (Piccolo approves.) Their similarities could be attributed to lazy developers, but what if that was actually a clue of them being actually related? Also, it is implied that Winona was grown up in a estranged wealthy family and it is confirmed that she dislikes fancy things and formalities: the same could be said about Wilson! Seriously, there are too many coincidences to be a random chance. (And that, ladies and gentlemen was the point where the theory became a full fledged headcanon. But I am not related to Klei in any way, so this is still the theory of a deluded fan that loves to make theories and Klei will destroy it in a few days with the new lore.)

And what about avoiding Charlie? Well, this could have a pretty simple explanation, reflected by their body shapes: Winona spent the last fifteen years of her life enduring all the kinds of manual jobs, so she actually gained some muscle mass and speed movement that she uses in game to avoid the attacks of her beloved sister. Not to mention that she seems to be closer to Charlie's age than Wilson is, so probably they spent some time playing together as kids (and probably back then Winona was the one winning the fight game). Wilson is more of a couch potato and according to the official timeline he is some years younger than Charlie and Winona. In case we take the theory "Wilson is Charlie's brother" in account, it means Wilson could not play with his older sisters like they used to do when they were younger and this causes him to be unable to dodge Charlie's attacks even if now he knows who is attacking him.

Another interesting possible clue is the new sentence Wilson says in DST when he is attacked by Charlie: "That presence... it's familiar! Hello?". Sure, he finally met her so he can recognize her presence... but the choice of words bears some uncanny resemblance to another quote from another character: "Hm? What a familiar presence." But maybe it's just another coincidence that this is almost the inversion of the words order of the sentence of a certain uncle recognizing the flower of his dead niece. Or I'm so into this theory that I'm seeing clues everywhere.

And for some more bonus point, look at Maxwell and Wendy in game: unless you know Don't Starve lore all you could say about them after looking at their designs and reading their quotes is "are these two guys in the same Shakespeare emo fanclub?" Their quotes have a similar dramatic tone, but there is almost nothing that suggests an actual family relationship between them. They don't even look anything alike!

4) The identity of the person Winona was trying to save

We were told from the beginning that Winona went into the Constant on her own because she wanted to save someone. We were also informed that she is Charlie's sister and she used to work for the Voxola Radio Company, so Charlie and Robert Wagstaff seem to be the only possible options as the person she was trying to save. Or aren't they?

As for Charlie, she disappeared in 1906 during a huge disaster that caused a lot of victims (the event overlaps with San Francisco's earthquake in 1906), and Winona came into the Constant fifteen years later. Probably on Earth Charlie was presumed dead and Winona went with it, as her quote of the Tragedy Marble Statue suggests ("We thought she was gone"). She grieved her but then she went on with her life. In 1919 she started to work for Wagstaff's Voxola until it burned down. However, unusually for a character who is supposed to be canonically playable only in the multiplayer version of the game, Winona has Adventure Mode related quotes that even got modified at some point. According to her original Adventure Mode quotes we can understand that she was actually shocked to find out that Maxwell's plots were behind Voxola's fire and Wagstaff's disappearance. Then Robert Wagstaff might not be the person Winona was looking for. Two years or more pass by and Winona joins the fun in the Constant, yet she never mentions her looking for someone, meaning that she already found the one person she was looking for. If this person is not Charlie or Wagstaff, who could they be? Wilson not only could be a valid answer, but if she knew where he lived and she found the Maxwell's Door inside his house she even had the mean to reach the Constant with no help at all!

But if they are estranged how did she know Wilson went missing? Well, some newspapers or radio transmissions might have announced his sudden disappearance, or the police went look for Winona because she might be the only family he has left. And the news did not leave her indifferent, so she went to his place looking for clues and found out about the Maxwell's Door. And for some bonus points, if Wilson left some notes behind (and he probably did as he used the typewriter when he was creating the portal during the cinematic!) she might have recognized something Charlie could have told her about fifteen years before that convinced her that Wilson was in trouble. So she activated the door. We know how it went.

#dont starve #dont starve wilson #dont starve charlie #dont starve winona #lore #headcanon #i need help #i need lore #why in heck did i check everything i could think of to confirm or deny this #because i need another hobby #I don't even know if it is intelligible #this is not canon #but includes real canon information

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stimsensory · 5 years

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Autism Every Day Video

In 2006, Autism Speaks released the following video. I’ll try to explain the issues I, and many other autistic people, have with it. WARNING: Ableism, suicidal and homicidal ideation.

So let’s break this down.

The video debuted in 2006.

The video focuses solely on mothers of autistic children. There are no autistic adults, there are no autistic parents, there is nothing from the perspective of an autistic person. And it is vitally important to include parents of autistic people in the discussion of autism, because they can determine how their children grow up, and they need support and help too. But parents of autistic kids have been at the centre of the discussion for years now. It’s time to include autistic people. Autism Speaks doesn’t do this. They have only 2 autistic people on their Board of Directors, out of a total of 26 people. How can they speak for us when they barely include us? The addition of these autistic people is very recent.

The video starts with screaming, obviously distressed children. But instead of trying to figure out why these children are distressed (for example, many of them are being manhandled and pushed around), we hear from the parents who have to ‘deal’ with the screaming.

Throughout the video, there is no consideration for whether the children can understand what the parents are saying about them, whether they dislike being filmed, or whether they are distressed by having strangers in their home pointing cameras in their faces. If someone came into your home and filmed you, followed you when you went away, and you couldn’t speak, I’m pretty sure you might scream and cry too.

0.40: A child is described as being ‘like a baby’, without any consideration for the fact that she can hear and may understand this. Just because someone acts in typically ‘childish’ ways does not mean they cannot understand things.

1.02: Parents describe the lack of speech from their child. Autistic people can benefit from other means of communication such as writing, sign language, or AACs. Speech is not the only way to communicate. It can be hard to never hear your child speak, I don’t argue against this. But it’s also incredibly hard to be unable to speak (when I get extremely distressed, I cannot get words out. Many people with autism can communicate online with the written word but struggle with spoken language).

1.36: They show the mother changing her child’s nappies. On television. When the child cannot communicate consent. How would you feel if someone filmed you on the toilet and aired it?

3.18: Now this section is about children running out of the house, into traffic or other dangerous situation. This must have been terrifying and is something that should be highlighted and worked on because it puts a child in legitimate danger. Figuring out why the child is running is important. This is, in my opinion, a good thing to talk about. The parents and children and adults need more support to ensure the autistic person is safe.

4.12: I also agree that the judgement of autistic people and parents of autistic people by the general public is incredibly high. If something makes someone happy and doesn’t affect you, why would you care? If someone has ‘childish’ toys or interests how does it affect you? This is why we need autism acceptance, so people face less judgement.

4.38: A mother discusses how heartbreaking it is that her child doesn’t like the swings and has a meltdown over them. The judgement from other mothers is unwarranted and unacceptable. However, consider a park. It is full of children (incredibly loud), birds (incredibly loud), wind (which can brush hair into your face and hurt), and the swing may even hurt the child depending upon her sensory sensitivities. If your child doesn’t like the park, why continue to take them? Why not consider why they are having this meltdown, and work around it? For example giving her ear defenders to help with the birdsong and children screaming/laughing, or going during a time when most children are at school.

I agree with these mums that the general public needs more understanding and compassion, because judgemental looks are not gonna help a meltdown.

5.17: The mother holds her child, and tries to make them do a puzzle. She says she ‘wanted (child’s name) to do a puzzle’. What if the kid didn’t want to do one? Now I’m pretty sure if you try to force a non-autistic child to do something they don’t want to (such as a puzzle or their homework) they are gonna be annoyed, and might have a strop. Why does the kid need to do a puzzle? He’s jumping around the room, maybe he is in a sensory seeking mood that day and cannot sit quietly and do a puzzle. She also says her child can do the puzzle in 30 seconds when he wants to. To me, it sounds like a pretty boring puzzle. If you’re trying to make a kid do a dull task over and over, after they’ve already shown you they can do it, they are going to get bored, and fast. If someone tried to force me to do a puzzle over and over, and physically forced me to do it, I’d probably try to push away and scream if I couldn’t speak. Wouldn’t you?

5.33: A mother talks about her fear that her child may have injured another child at school. This is an understandable fear, because it could get her kid kicked out of school, or another child could be seriously hurt, or her child may be taken away. The school needs more understanding of autism, and her child’s individual needs, to ensure it doesn’t get to that point. Again, trying to figure out why the child is hurting someone else is important. Are they being bullied? Did they misunderstand a game (such as tag) and use more force than necessary? Are they attempting to communicate something? Are they seeking sensory input? The school needs more autism training to help staff figure this out.

6.00: This is the big one.

This part starts off with the mother’s talking about the lack of special education classes in the area. I cannot emphasise this enough: I agree with them. There is nowhere near enough funding for special education (in the UK and, I believe, in America), and there needs to be more!

The mum in the green shirt laments that parents are forced to put children in overcrowded classrooms where the kids don’t make progress. Again, I completely agree. Classrooms are overcrowded, teachers are underpaid, and the kids suffer. This needs to change.

Now here is a big controversy. At 6.10, the mother states that she had sat in a car for 15 minutes contemplating driving herself and her autistic child off a bridge. She thought this was preferable to putting her child in one of these schools. She only decided not to do this because she has a non-autistic daughter.

Her autistic child is in the room this whole time. She is right behind her. She can likely hear and understand what she is saying.

Imagine that. Your parent telling a stranger with a camera that they wanted to murder you and kill themselves, and didn’t do it because of your sibling. That would be… pretty traumatic to hear. It is disturbing to hear her say this with a slight smile and without anyone going ‘hold up, you wanted to MURDER your child? Maybe we should book this lady in for some kind of therapy, and take the child to somewhere safe’. If someone told you that they wanted to murder their non-autistic child (and not in a joking, ‘ugh they were being so annoying, I wanted to murder them!’ way), you would (hopefully) call someone about her because you were concerned for this child’s safety. But it’s okay when the child is autistic? No.

Autistic people are still being mistreated, and end up dead, due to mistreatment and neglect. Over 650 American autistic people have been murdered by their parents, or relatives in the last five years, according to the Autistic Self Advocacy Network. Autistic people are mistreated in Assessment and Treatment Units in the UK, according to the National Autistic Society.

This is unacceptable. When an autistic person is murdered there should NOT be sympathy for the murderer. There should be awareness of the lack of support that can cause many to do this, but people need to stop acting like the parents are the victims in these situations. The murdered person is the victim.

7.12: A mother feels sad that her other, non-autistic son ‘lost Christian (autistic child) too’. Lost? He’s right there… he isn’t lost. His communication is not understood, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t there! Autism doesn’t ‘take’ children, it is a part of them. It doesn’t ‘steal’ people.

7.16: A small, non-autistic child says she wishes she had a sister without autism.

Wow.

Children that young often repeat what their parents say. It’s likely her mum has said this so often she has started repeating it. Imagine hearing that as a child. I would be devastated if my brother said that (I know sometimes he wishes I would take part in activities and stuff so he could have someone to play with when on holiday, but I don’t think he wishes I was a completely different person. Except when I’m annoying him maybe. [Joke]).

7.22: A mother suggests the rate for divorce in parents with autistic children is ‘like, 80%’. Raising an autistic child is stressful, especially without the right support, and it could lead to stress in someone’s marriage. But the number is not that high: Article. This study suggests the divorce rate is higher than in families with no autistic children, but nowhere near the quoted 80%.

8.00: Parents discuss the high financial costs of therapy, sensory rooms, and just generally having an autistic child. This is important. The government needs to cover more therapies, and support families with autistic people more. I believe the situation may be worse in America due to the problems with insurance companies refusing to cover therapy costs.

8.48: A mother states that they keep borrowing money but keep being disappointed. This is a big problem actually, since there are so many fake ‘therapies’ for autistic people that can cause more harm than good (such as bleach enemas using MMS), and some just do nothing (the National Autistic Society describes some therapies and how to spot bad ones here). People are often desperate to help their autistic child, and are vulnerable to these scams. They lose money and the child may be harmed. We need acceptance of autism to help decrease the panic and search for a ‘cure’ that can accompany an autism diagnosis, so the parents of newly diagnosed kids aren’t fooled by these scams.

10.29: Mothers talk about how they are sad their child won’t do stereotypical things such as Little League (is that an American thing), have a girlfriend, get married, have kids. They are used to judging their children’s achievements by non-autistic standards. Many people won’t like sports, many do not get married or have children. Are they ‘missing something’ or broken? Of course not. It’s best not to push your dreams onto your children. It’s understandable to be sad that your child may not do something that you personally enjoyed (such as getting married), but it may be something that they wouldn’t enjoy, and they are not mini versions of their parents.

11.43: The mother talks about wanting a cure. This is controversial in the autism community, so I’ll just state that I don’t want a cure and neither do many autistic people. However, she does also assume her non-autistic child will have a baby, which I (personally) find frustrating. She may not want a baby. She’s still a baby herself!

12.04: ‘I just cannot accept we have to throw away this generation of children.’ So, first of all, autism has always existed. It’s not just this generation. The increase in autism diagnoses is not due to an epidemic, it is due to expanding diagnostic criteria including more people, and the ‘hidden generation’ of autistic adults starting to be diagnosed. Evidence. So it’s not just this generation of children.

Second, we are not garbage to be thrown away. Autism does not make us any less human, so why are people using such dehumanising statements?

12.30: The mother who wanted to murder her child asks her to say ‘I love you’. She does so and hugs her. But the mother then says ‘I’ll take that’.

What?

She did exactly as you asked. She showed affection verbally and physically. She did say the words in a mumbled, slightly slurred way, but that could easily be due to difficulty with motor coordination of her mouth. She is trying her best. She is telling you that she loves you after you just stated you had wanted to kill her. This infuriates me, that the mother acts like this isn’t enough.

In conclusion, these are my thoughts as an autistic adult, and I hope they give you another perspective to consider.

https://www.stimsensory.co.uk/blog/2019/4/1/autism-every-day-video

#autism #Actually autistic #ActuallyAutistic #AutismAwareness #autism awareness #autism speaks #AutismSpeaks #autism acceptance #AutismAcceptance #blog #blogger

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metalandmagi · 5 years

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January Media Madness

It’s a new year, and yes I’m still keeping track of the stuff I watch and/or read. I really just like being able to keep track of everything that came out during the year, and I like to shout my thoughts into the void. And maybe someone will find something they like.

Movies!

The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals: Okay, not a movie, but it’s the latest musical from Starkid so I had to include it somewhere. And this time it’s a horror alien/zombie take over that causes everyone to act like they’re in a musical, and humanity’s only hope is an average guy who happens to not like musicals. That may not sound bad, BUT THINK OF THE IMPLICATIONS! The plot could sort of meander at times, but it’s hilarious and also pretty dark for Starkid. If nothing else, watch it because Lauren Lopez is a goddess. 9/10

Monty Python and the Holy Grail: Everyone’s favorite silly King Arthur searching for the holy grail story. I hadn’t watched this movie since I was a kid, and there was so much stuff I forgot about! And yeah it’s still pretty great. I do feel like it drags in the middle a little, but I still always enjoy the tomfoolery! 9/10

Three Identical Strangers: A documentary about a set of identical triplets who were separated at birth and the sinister intentions of the adoption agency who separated them. On top of being an interesting story, it is super thought provoking bringing up questions of scientific morality, nature vs nurture, and mental health...which does make it a little depressing. I love the way it sets up the mystery of the story, but it also makes you feel terrible for trying to plot out and guess the story of these actual human beings’ lives. So I’d recommend it to anyone who is interested in crazy stories and scientific corruption! 9/10

Venom: A classic tale of a boy and his symbiote. In which the weirdest investigative reporter in the world is possessed by an alien parasite while trying to stop a corrupt corporation from constantly murdering people. Guys, I originally never planned to see this movie. I never cared about Venom. I was never big into the Spiderman universe, but then this movie came out and everyone was saying how weird it was...and how Eddie and Venom are like a thing...so curiosity got the better of me. And I’m kind of underwhelmed. I think I would have liked it more if I never had any expectations going into it, because it really wasn’t as weird as I thought it would be. The first 30 minutes were a slog, the dialogue was clunky, the plot was very predictable and basic, and I feel like Eddie and Venom didn’t have enough interaction. But it had its moments, I get why some people love it, and I did like what I saw of the symbiote relationship, so all in all it was just..okay. Oh well. 6.5/10

Mama Mia Here We Go Again: The just as ridiculous sequel to Mama Mia, featuring more dumb plots that don’t fit together, more dumb writing, and more over the top performances. Just like the first one, it’s a silly excuse to put some ABBA songs in a movie and make you have fun, and it accomplishes that in spades. Because if you’re watching a Mama Mia movie for the “plot” or anything other than the musical numbers and silliness, you’re making a huge mistake. It is a little clunkier trying to weave two timelines together, but who cares because they’re singing Dancing Queen! As an actual movie, we all know it’s barely passable as a 6/10 but just for getting drunk with your friends and having fun it’s a 9/10

Books!

The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis: The fifth/third book in the Chronicles of Narnia in which a boy and a talking horse run away from the land of Calormen to get to Narnia...and find out about a plot to take over Narnia along the way. I know some people think this is the most interesting book in the series plot wise, and technically there is more plot...but it’s boring as hell. I really think Lewis’s normal interjections would have made it more entertaining, but he doesn’t use his author’s voice at all! Not only is it written in an incredibly circular and drawn out way (some people literally tell stories like they’re writing the bible), but it’s also SUPER RACIST and kind of sexist too. I was so excited because when the book first started I thought we were getting a canonical protagonist of color...and then he turns out to be a kidnapped white boy surrounded by “savages.” Yes we have Aravis...but I really don’t know how to feel about her. Also Bree the horse is really just an asshole, so it’s hard to like any of the characters. I did appreciate having adult Edmund and Susan around though, so it’s not a total waste. The truth is, this is the book that I could barely get through as a kid and would constantly fall asleep reading so I barely remembered anything besides the fact that I didn’t like it. 3/10

Skyward by Brandon Sanderson: In a distant future, humans are trapped on a wasteland planet where their only hope for survival are teenagers flying spaceships while fighting a mysterious alien race. Aka: local girl is constantly dumped on by society and makes friends with a talking spaceship. Okay this book definitely has its problems, but I mostly don’t care because 1. The world building is great. 2. Spensa is a fun main character. 3. All the side characters have distinguishable personalities and interactions *cough* m-bot *cough*. And 4. The plot could be predictable at times but I really liked following the mystery of it all...even if there’s some weird chosen one type of bullshit going on towards the end. It has a major season one Attack on Titan vibe with all the questions about humanity’s history and mankind uniting to fight a mysterious enemy. This is a super fun read that kept me theorizing and was also incredibly motivational. Did I like all of Sanderson’s decisions when it came to which characters died? Hell no. Do I think the government would have a lot more backlash considering its dumbass way of fighting wars? Yes. But I’d still recommend it, and I’m still looking forward to the next book! 8/10

TV Shows!

Aggretsuko: The most adorable musical comedy anime of 2018, where Retsuko, a 25 year old office worker is getting fed up with her job and copes with life by singing aggressive death metal songs...and by the way everyone’s a cute animal. I’m a little late to this party, but this show is so precious and also disturbingly accurate to real life. Retsuko is so relatable, Haida’s crush on her is well executed and not forced, there’s great working women solidarity (Gori and Washimi are the fucking queens of anime side characters) and the metal is so well integrated! Please watch this charming show and the Christmas special if you haven’t already! I NEED ANOTHER SEASON NOW! 10/10

A Series of Unfortunate Events (season 3): The final season of the Baudelaires’ tale of misery and woe. And man did they stick the landing. “But it doesn’t leave things vague enough, they didn’t leave the sugar bowl a mystery.” GOOD! I’ve had to deal with Snicket’s badly written ending to the books since 2006. I love that they explained as much as they did. The ending was bittersweet and more concrete while still delivering the message of how the world is morally gray. Also Quigley was amazing, Sunny was amazing, FERNALD WAS AMAZING! KIT WAS AMAZING! EVERYONE WAS AMAZING! And I almost cried seeing the kids in their outfits from the book covers. I wish Jacqueline was in it, but I think her character would have felt redundant with Kit in the mix. This was an amazing adaption all around, and this season did a great job at putting some of the more...difficult books on screen without it feeling out of place. Even if you haven’t read the books, I encourage anyone who likes mysteries and different forms of storytelling to suffer with the rest of us! 10/10

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K (season 1): Local overpowered psychic anime boy just wants to be ignored and blend in with society, but the universe constantly surrounds him with silly situations that cause him to use his powers. I finally got around to watching this show, and it’s hilarious. Kusuo is a great deadpan main character who is definitely ace as hell, and the English dub is actually pretty good! I don’t really want to watch the show in Japanese now because I feel like the dub does a better job at timing the comedic lines and distinguishing everyone’s thoughts. So now I’m upset that the second season hasn’t been dubbed (thanks Netflix). But yeah it’s a great silly show to binge watch. 10/10

Community: The misadventures of a wacky study group going to the world’s worst community college. You know, the one with all the memes? Okay, I know I’m the last one to watch this and technically I still have a season and a half left at this point, but I thought I’d include it anyway. This show is such a wild ride that I don’t even know what to think about it anymore. The first two seasons were pretty average with a few absolutely brilliant episodes thrown in. And then...the paintball episodes happened, and the show just became amazing. I do have a lot of questions though....like if the main character is a lawyer (sort of), why does he never sue the dean for sexual harassment? Why does Pierce, the resident old, sexist, racist, problematic baby boomer have an “arc” centered around a logical fallacy. No one wants to hang out with him because he’s terrible, but he’s upset because he feels left out and constantly does terrible things to get back at them? I literally almost dropped the show because I couldn’t take him anymore, and then the writers just magically dial him back in his last seasons...which I’m thankful for. And I don’t even know where to being with Chang. BUT this show is a testament to creative writing and innovative meta ways to tell stories. The rest of the study group is made up of hilarious well balanced characters that all have their distinct broken but quirky personalities. And I love them all...except Pierce. So, even though I haven’t finished it, I’d give it an 8.5/10 so far.

Superstore: A sitcom about the daily struggles of workers in a W*lmart-esque superstore. I finally caught up to it, and it’s still fine. It’s not great, but not terrible either. It is incredibly accurate though, coming from someone who works retail. The best parts of the show are the scene transitions because they show all the things customers are doing in the store. And most of the time I just nod and go “yeah I’ve seen that.” This is one of those shows to have on for the sake of just having something on. It has its moments. 7/10

Honorable Mentions

Because these are the reasons why I didn’t really read much this month...or watch many movies.

YOUNG JUSTICE is officially back with the long awaited season 3. And it’s still pretty great, but man I wish I had rewatched the original series.

Netflix released the Taylor Swift Reputation stadium performance. So now you all know how much of a slut for Taylor Swift I am. I can’t help it if her latest album is basically Captive Prince the musical!

The Masked Singer (US version) is dragging me into a spiral of conspiracy theories. Please watch this ridiculous reality show where celebrities wear elaborate costumes and a super annoying judging panel tries to guess who they are. I’m in hell, because this show is set up terribly, but I also don’t want to leave.

Life is Strange 2: episode 2 was finally released. And I’m actually loving it. These games have a special place in my heart for some reason.

New Super Mario Bros U Deluxe came out and I hate myself for buying these stupid games because they consume all my time, and I don’t even really like them.

#yes i'm still doing this #long post #media madness #the guy who didn't like musicals #three identical strangers #monty python and the holy grail #a series of unfortunate events #venom #mama mia #the chronicles of narnia #the horse and his boy #skyward #aggretsuko #the disastrous life of saiki k.#community #superstore

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brandluxe-uk · 3 years

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Geneo First Usage

I have always had problematic skin. Redness, an oily T-zone, sensitivity and acne-like blemishes are just some of the issues that I have faced, and continue to experience on an ongoing basis, especially when I feel particularly stressed out.

Did you know that clinical studies indicate that between 40 and 55 percent of the adult population aged between 20 and 40 suffer with low grade, persistent acne and oily skin? I didn’t either! But I do take comfort in knowing that I’m not the only one out experiencing such problematic skin, so we are very much in this together!

I’ve used a number of serums, moisturisers, beauty tools and masks, (the list goes on!) to try and combat my skin concerns. Some have worked, but I often find that these home-use remedies are just not proficient enough to target such acute issues.

I have also turned to professional aestheticians to try and understand exactly how to best manage my skin flare-ups. I have had a number of very costly facials to help improve the condition of my skin and my overall appearance. Although I have found them to be beneficial, unfortunately, due to the hefty price tags of these sessions, I am only able to have these done periodically.

I had been doing a lot research on what professional home-use technologies exist that can help me in my fight against my bad skin. I came across a device called The Geneo Personal, which is home use beauty device. Produced by an Israeli company called Pollogen, (I know Israel to be a very advanced nation when it comes to the development of high-tech beauty solutions) the device uses a very special way of rejuvenating the skin. The Geneo Personal works by oxygenating the skin from within. What does this mean exactly? I asked the same question and found that oxygenating the skin is supposed to:

“Provide a deep cleansing of the skin, exfoliation of the upper skin layer, oxygenation of the skin from within and absorption of the skin for nourishment of active ingredients. The result: Skin renewal, improvement of skin tone and texture, glowy look, hydration and dull skin improvement.”

This sounded like a dream home-use device solution, and at under £200, if the Geneo Personal does everything it’s supposed to, it would be totally worth it. I have spent in excess of £200 for a single facial treatment in the past! So, based on being able to keep the device and use it an infinite number of times, I didn’t hesitate in purchasing the device.

After receiving my Geneo device, I immediately charged it, excited by the thought of conducting my own facials at home. I love the look and feel of the Geneo unit itself, it’s a nice weight and really easy to hold, this is down to the egg shape. So, my first thought was that I think it would be suitable for anyone to use, especially for those that might have struggled with heavier home use devices in the past, when they were not so portable.

I soon got to work tackling my skin, by starting with the silicone head to cleanse my face. It was reassuring to see that Geneo have used silicone, as it’s the most hygienic material, over a brush for example, meaning that bacteria won’t cling to its surface after use. This is really important if you suffer from break outs as often the bacteria can inflame broken skin, causing further stress to the skin and the healing process is exasperated.

I used my everyday cleansing solution with my Geneo and It took around 3 minutes to fully cleanse my skin; I used circular motions to ensure that every inch of my face was squeaky clean. The vibrating sonic technology meant that my skin felt super renewed immediately afterwards; it felt as though I had had an exfoliation treatment already, and I hadn’t even started on the oxygenation step of the process! The second step was to remove the silicone head and to replace this with an oxygenation capsule (these are in the pink sachets). I applied the treatment gel (this comes in the green sachet) all over my skin, spreading a thin and consistent layer across the whole of my face. In total you get 4 capsules and 4 gel sachets, meaning that you should be able to give yourself 4 oxygenation treatments. The refill pack works out to be just under £30 so this works out to be just £7.50 per treatment, which I think is exception value based on the fact that you are getting a professional facial. I found that the capsule didn’t fully dissolve away after my first treatment, so I was able to save that for my next!

Anyway, back to the oxygenation effect itself. What you then need to do is turn the Geneo on and again use circular motions to activate the ingredients within the capsule. It’s the reaction between the gel and the capsule that actually creates the bubbles, and this is really satisfying to see happen! It felt quite tingly at first, (in a nice way) which is a good sign to me, as that made me think that something was really happening here. I managed to complete my entire face in under 6 minutes, which was perfect a I don’t have much patience! I found that adding drops of water to the capsule meant that the capsule was more reactive, the bubbles that formed were bigger and bubblier! I noticed that my skin started to look a little red, which initially concerned me, as aforementioned, I do have very sensitive skin. I then realised that the redness wasn’t a bright, alarming red, is was more of a dewy red shade, which made me think that actually this wasn’t any kind of sensitivity but actually the glow from within that the Geneo makers describe:

“Geneo works by creating a layer of Co2 bubbles on your face. This causes the body to release oxygen to the skin cells, increasing blood flow to the tiny vessels and encouraging the skin rejuvenation process, leaving skin glowing and radiant.”

It was amazing to think that my body was reacting to the Geneo in this way, and that I could see first-hand how a professional treatment feels and looks, as you run through the steps — the whole process felt satisfyingly therapeutic. I had felt like I had done something really good for my skin! After the exfoliation process I rinsed and dried my skin. As I wiped away the excess water on my face, I was stunned to feel HOW soft and silky my face felt. “Wow, I don’t think my skin has ever felt like this before” I remember thinking. I couldn’t stop touching my face, any roughness had been eliminated, and after the initial red glow had subsided, my skin remained fresh and dewy. It honestly felt as though I had been to my local beautician and had a very expensive facial.

I completed my treatment using the Geneo anti-ageing cream. It’s a lovely light cream, that gently glides onto the skin and sinks in really quickly. I actually noticed how quickly it absorbed, maybe that’s because I had just professionally exfoliated my skin?

As the Geneo Personal home-use device is a scaled down version of one of Pollogen’s substantial salon devices, it’s a verified treatment that is clinically proven to rejuvenate facial skin and is suitable for all skin types.

I could immediately see why there were so many good reviews about this new technology, and I was looking forward to my next session already!

As you can use the cleansing mode (silicone head) daily and then the treatments are once a week, Geneo really becomes your ultimate skincare tool.

I recommend the Geneo to everyone that has some time in the week to spend on themselves. Give it a go and see the wonderful results for yourself!

Originally published at https://thebrandluxe.com.

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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You Should Check Out the Paralympics

https://ift.tt/3BpOGn7

U.S. Paralympic swimmer Jamal Hill has big goals.

“I set out upon this journey to become the LeBron James of swimming – to just become the greatest that I can be, but also the most recognized swimmer in the world,” Hill tells Den of Geek.

Hill was just 10 years old when he first experienced total paralysis and was diagnosed with Charcot-Marie-Tooth (CMT) – a hereditary neurological condition that can result in loss of muscle tissue and touch sensation. Over the years, however, Hill not only gradually regained his mobility but became an elite swimmer. The Los Angeles-native is now ranked #1 in the US Paralympic 50m Freestyle and is currently in Tokyo representing his country in the 2020 Paralympics.

The Tokyo 2020 Paralympic Games began on Aug. 24, just over three weeks after the Olympics’ closing ceremonies and are set to run through Sept. 5. The Paralympic Games have a bit of a marketing problem in comparison to its older cousin, which is something that Hill wants to change. He notes that some countries like Australia combine the swimming trials for both the Olympics and Paralympics but in the U.S., the Olympics swimming trials took on the pomp and circumstance of a Hollywood premiere, while the Paralympic trials had more of a high school meet vibe.

“Athletes like myself just taking that initiative to promote their own careers and promote their own brands serves the greater Paralympic movement,” he says.

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Just before Hill took off for Tokyo, he was nice enough to chat with Den of Geek about his journey, why the Paralympics should be appointment viewing, and his non-profit Swim Up Hill.

Surprisingly, there was a lot of talk about Ray Kroc’s McDonald’s business model as well, which we’re presenting in its entirety because it’s pretty fun.

The following has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Den of Geek: What was last year like for you? Because it was difficult and weird for all of us, but I imagine it’s even weirder and more difficult for you as an athlete.

Jamal Hill: Yeah. Last year seems like a long time ago now. Obviously first and foremost, just prayers out to all the people who were negatively impacted by COVID-19. Hindsight is 2020, and I’m somebody that doesn’t look at things as really blessings or curses, really it’s just all a new challenge. So, we had some strong challenges, man. We lost our pool facility. I was challenged to continue training in backyard pools, which is pretty comical. I was challenged to up my mental and spiritual game.

Because our home pool was gone, we had to figure out “okay, well how are we going to train?” So, man, I was already all over the county, but COVID-19 literally put me all over the county. I was swimming in pools in the Palisades, and Ladera, and Long Beach, and Burbank, and Altadena, and you name it, I’ve been to pretty much every major pool there is around the county. That was a stepping stone, dude, and now we’re onto the next step. I pulled strength from that experience, quite frankly.

I imagine when you’re training for the Paralympics, there’s not a lot of free time. But when you do have free time, what do you enjoy?

Dude, my time ain’t free. When I’m not swimming, I’m the executive director and founder of the Swim Up Hill Foundation, Inc. We have a mission to teach a million people every year how to swim in BIPOC and low-to-middle income communities. So I spend a lot of my time organizing my staff, running documents, organizing events, running budgets, and things like that, just being a businessman.

Then outside of that, I’m an avid reader. I probably read anywhere from four to six books a month. And that’s from autobiographies, biographies, self-improvement, you name it. That’s pretty much my time right there. But yeah, I find a lot of fulfillment in just fulfilling my destiny. That’s what I call it. It’s not even work, it’s just like I’m working on my destiny here, and it brings me a lot, a lot, a lot of joy. So I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything.

I would say you’re definitely not. Even people who aren’t training for the 50 meter freestyle don’t usually read four to six books a month.

Well, again, that’s that kind of a business mindset of it. I set out upon this journey to become really the LeBron James of swimming – to just become the greatest that I can be, but also the most recognized swimmer in the world. I pull inspiration from the music industry and then some of my different industries of entertainment and artists, and you understand that the artform itself ultimately is probably about 30%, and 70% is business. The world’s greatest CEOs are reading, on average, 72 books a year. So, if that’s the company I want to be in, that’s the pace you’ve got to keep.

Do you think that there’s a path that can be taken to maybe promote the Paralympics a little more? From your perspective, what do you think is the best way to go about it?

I think one really powerful way is to combine the marketing and the events more. So for example, just in the swimming spectrum, there are certain countries like Australia where the swimming trials of the Olympics and Paralympics are held at the same venue on the same weekend. But Olympic swimming and Paralympics trials were held in completely different cities. One of them is a fricking Hollywood blow-out, and then one of them is rinky-dink high school meet, almost, the feeling of it. And that’s the one I was at.

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Athletes like myself just taking that initiative to promote their own careers and promote their own brands serves the greater Paralympic movement. And then, again, also, outside of that, there are steps being taken, man. I think it’s just so new. It’s almost like when, do you remember when Lil’ Bow Wow changed his name just to Bow Wow?

Yep.

Yeah. And for a cool minute, everybody is like, “No, that’s Lil’ Bow Wow. I don’t care how old you get, Shad Moss, you’ll never just be Bow Wow.” But now after some time it’s like, okay, it’s just Bow Wow. Nobody cares. I think that’s ultimately where we’re at right now. It’s the Olympic and Paralympic Committee of the United States. The IOC and IPC haven’t joined yet. So I think those bodies joining and becoming this one acronym, is ultimately, again, over the years, going to start to help people.

This year is going to be the first year the Paralympics are showcased on NBC so we’re definitely continuing to make strides in the right way. I don’t even want to slap anybody’s wrist too hard, and say, “You got to be able to pick it up.” I think they’re doing some really good things. And obviously coming onto platforms like yours, now you’re a part of this education process. Now a lot of your community is going to be like, “Oh, shit, I thought it was just the Olympics. Paralympics? And they all get paid the same? They’re all elite athletes? They all are overcoming crazy challenges and struggles? And oh my God, this person has no arms or legs, and he swims faster than I do. How the heck is that possible?” That’s something I want to see. So it’s going to catch fire, man, don’t you worry, it’s going to catch.

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I believe you. What’s your favorite book you read recently?

Let me just pull up my Audible. I would say most recently my favorite book has probably been Grinding It Out by Ray Kroc and Robert Anderson, the McDonald’s story. That’s probably been my favorite book of late. Ray Kroc didn’t even make his nut till he was in his 40s or 50s. And at first it didn’t even look like it was going to happen, but he stayed dedicated. He had the experience and wisdom to know a gem when he found it and he stuck with it. Then just to see the licensing, the franchise model of McDonald’s with my foundation, that’s ultimately a template that I use when talking to my staff.

We’re the McDonald’s of swim education. Our goal is to get people from “can’t swim” to “can swim” as quickly, as effectively, and as simply as possible. Ultimately the system is designed to be so simple that I can put you right here on the fries, or put your right here on the grill, and it’s like step one, two, three, done, and it’s always the same outcome, always quality control. That’s why Ray Kroc is my man. Big fan, dude. And obviously McDonald’s has as a brand, I know we’re in the health age, and it’s not the healthiest food, so I’m not supporting it in that way necessarily, but also at the same pace, it’s a lot healthier than a lot of stuff out there, the quality of their meats and things like that.

Have you ever seen the movie Super Size Me?

Guaranteed, man. Hell yeah, I saw Super Size Me.

I read recently that no one’s been able to replicate those results. That’s not really a strong scientific process he goes through in that movie.

With respect, I hope no one was ever calling it a strong scientific process. No case study has ever been performed on one person.

The Paralympics can be live-streamed on NBCOlympics.com with select events appearing on NBC-branded networks and the Peacock streaming service.

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