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#the more i think about it the weirder this all seems
so-very-small · 9 hours
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I am thinking about a Tiny Wife, and a Tiny Husband. they live in the walls of a human couple’s home. got married young and rushed, drifted apart in their thirties, but it’s fine. the humans are in a similar boat. they all make it work. so the Tiny Husband does the majority of the borrowing, and the Giant Husband does the majority of the cooking, and it’s only natural that their paths cross. and they hate each other.
the Giant Husband sees this little guy as an absolute pest. destroying his herb gardens and stealing his food. so he lays traps, chases him, puts all his energy into catching this tiny. he doesn’t tell his Giant Wife. and yet, he obsesses. the Tiny Husband sees the Giant as an obstacle, and takes on the traps as challenges. he steals more than he needs, makes a show of his theft now that the human is aware. his Tiny Wife worries, but he persists.
because there’s a specific little feeling he gets around the Giant Husband that he hasn’t gotten from anyone in a long time. a sharp thrill in his chest, a flutter in his stomach. and it’s wrong, and he also might die, but he goes out anyways just to see him. and he has a very, very strong feeling that Giant Husband feels the same.
(he does.)
Tiny Wife is not stupid, though. initially relived by the extra alone time, she eventually realizes Tiny Husband’s gone more than he should be and he’s bringing home more than normal. she trails after him one night, and watches how her husband has this dangerous dance with the Giant Husband. the threats, the sharp comments, the danger, but more than that, how they look at each other. the light in his eyes when he comes home.
and Tiny Wife is a little bothered by how she isn’t bothered. if anything, she’s happy for Tiny Husband. she’s never seen that spark, and she’s never held it for him. she’s happy he’s getting that, even if it’s in an atypical way. despite this, she still feels an obligation to Giant Wife, and so one night while Tiny Husband and Giant Husband are trying to kill each other, she creeps her way into the massive bedroom.
Giant Wife is having tea, her soft face lit by candles. Tiny Wife makes her presence known from her perch on the nightstand, and Giant Wife does not seem as startled as she should be. introductions are made, and Tiny Wife breaks the news that their husbands are…. well they’re not fucking, she doesn’t think, instead something much weirder, but emotionally entangled regardless.
and the Giant Wife already knows. she’s at peace with it, god, she’s happy for the quiet with her husband so busy. it was an arraigned marriage, and she’s not bothered, don’t worry little one, perhaps since you’re free would you like to stay for some tea? Tiny Wife does. she has tea in the candlelight with this giantess, and when she walks home, she has a certain smile on her face that’s never been there before.
I like to think it works out. the Husbands come clean and the Wives laugh at them. everything changes, in the sense that Tiny and Giant Wives now have tea every evening and spend the nights together, and nothing changes, in the sense that the Husbands are still trying to kill each other.
(but now they also kiss sometimes, too.)
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supercalime · 3 days
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all those interviews are fun even with hardcore stans speculation but god i wish they kinda stopped.
like, stop having stans interviewing actors in the first place, what do you mean they talk about couch theory? are we even serious right now? it’s obvious people are going to create even weirder hc after all these interviews.
I understand the interviewers (to a degree) bringing up b*ddie and baiting Oliver and Ryan to “leak” information or address how they are defenders of the ship, as it obviously makes dramatic headlines, which causes engagement, which advertises the show and by extent the website/reporter that did the interview.
Just a bit off topic but it has to be said: most of the interviews are borderline unprofessional. Not just with the aspect of bringing up b*ddie when the recent storyline has nothing to do with eddie but also relying their questions on stereotypes about the queer community (someone unironically asked Oliver who’s buck’s favorite pop diva now that he’s queer. Like wtf).
Anyway, going back to the mess haha. I’m not surprised the stans are acting this way (I’m very new to this fandom but not to fandoms and their discourses). I’m sometimes very invested in media and there are times I do extrapolate and need to touch grass. Sometimes I feel like people who are this invested in a fictional relationship that’s not even canon just need to find a different outlet for intense feelings, and not rely on things that are out of their control.
Of course fan reaction can influence a story being told, however fans have to also know how to approach it while being respectful. In all honesty, if I were writing a show and I finally went with a storyline I wasn’t allowed to write before because the network previously denied, and that was how the fans of a ship reacted, I would be pissed. I think I would not have b*ddie be a thing out of spite.
The bi!buck/bucktommy storyline is a huge step forward for a tv show in this scale. In fact, I can’t remember other procedurals that have as many queer main characters as 911/911 lone star. It’s been said, but a story about this very masculine man that has been known as a womanizer figuring out he’s bisexual well into his thirties and in the seventh season of a very popular show that is not part of a specific niche is important and should be celebrated on its own, regardless of ships or whatever the fans have to say about the partner choice.
But let’s be real for a second as I end my little essay here. If you know a single thing about writing, you know you can’t just throw a love story without buildup and as hard as it is to accept, the interactions between buck and eddie seemed to have always been ambiguous on purpose, and buck being maybe into guys was more played off as a joke. I know the fans want the ship to happen, but if they want this love story to happen, they gotta be patient. Just commenting “we don’t like this. We want buddie!” on an ig post about tevan won’t make the story suddenly turn into that direction.
What I’m saying won’t change anyone’s mind but whoever reads until the end, I want yall to know that unfortunately every fandom is like this and we gotta try our best to stay out of the discourse cause in all seriousness: none of this matters. It’s a show and arguing about it, bothering the actors, commenting annoying things on ig won’t change anything.
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greenconvor · 23 hours
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So it’s really been bothering me that Hunter’s reaction to Omega turning herself over to the Empire was almost nonexistent. Like, sure I get it could have just been writer’s choice to focus on the overall plot, but the same writers have gone out of their way to show how passionate Hunter is about keeping Omega safe and how much it effected him when she was captured at the end of season two. SO, I got an idea:
What if Omega surrendering during the invasion was always the plan?
Okay, hear me out. Omega has been very vocal about her desire to go back to Tantiss even before they’d actually escaped. Leaving the other prisoners behind never even crossed her mind. On the other hand, Crosshair has done everything he can to ignore anything remotely related to Tantiss except Omega. Hence why he won’t address the real reason behind his hand tremor.
Now consider: Omega is wracked with guilt/determination, finding it more difficult each day (especially as she sees the extent of Crosshair’s trauma) to sit back and do nothing while there are still so many clones stuck in that awful prison undergoing who knows what torture. So she goes to Hunter, resolved to do Something. Except, there’s nothing they can do until they get the base’s coordinates. Which Hunter and Wrecker already know is nearly impossible since they’ve been trying since Omega was kidnapped in s2.
THEN it becomes apparent that Crosshair isn’t telling them everything. They try to talk to him repeatedly, but nothing is working. He’s locked up tight. So someone (probably Omega) comes up with a plan.
If Omega, the only person Crosshair feels has never abandoned him as well as the one he’s the most protective of now, is taken back to Tantiss then Crosshair will have to reveal what he knows in order to rescue her.
It’s kinda mean and manipulative and very dangerous, but it’s the only feasible plan they’ve got. And as Omega says to Crosshair before she turns herself over: they need to focus on the bigger mission and they, as individuals, are only a small part of it. Omega clearly knows this and as bad as she may feel for forcing Crosshair to return, she knows they HAVE to save the imprisoned clones. It’s a matter of life and death.
And because Omega is Hunter’s weak spot (he will literally do anything for her since she’s basically his child— which makes his sudden lack of reaction even weirder) he agrees.
So Hunter approaches Cid, convincing her to tip off her Imperial informant either out of guilt or monetary incentive. Cid’s info leads CX-2 to Phee who leads him to Pabu. Then all they have to do is get Omega in a position where she seems to have no choice but surrender. It’s not hard to predict, the Empire’s done all this before.
THIS is why neither Hunter or Wrecker are losing it like everyone thought they would. It’s why they’re not blaming Crosshair or running themselves ragged or burning down the galaxy to find her. It’s why Omega is so calm even though she’s back to square one in Hemlock’s ‘care’. It’s why Crosshair seems to be the one most effected by her loss. The others knew what was going to happen; they were prepared. They trust Omega implicitly, knowing that she can keep herself safe until Crosshair leads them to Tantiss. In return, Omega trusts that they will find her. She trusts that Crosshair won’t leave her behind.
I know this is highly unlikely to become canon, but I think it would make all their seemingly uncharacteristic behavior actually very in character without the vague explanation: Writer’s Choice. Either way, that’s my headcanon and I’m sticking to it!
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ingravinoveritas · 13 days
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You know what's kind of wild to me? Anna just confirmed they've been together for 6 years. People forget she's still 29, and isn't 30 yet. So they met when she was still 23. Not hugely different from 25, but notable I think. Idk where the narrative that she was 25 came from and how that stuck.
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Hi there! So I am still catching up on Asks, and I wanted to make sure I addressed these (grouped together due to similar themes). For those who might not have seen, what is being referred to are two separate incidents that occurred in the days after Anna posted the t-shirt story on Instagram. On Tuesday, she posted this story lashing out at a Swedish publication for sharing a story originally from a UK publication (The Independent) about Michael's answer to the age gap question on The Assembly. The story was originally in Swedish, but the English translation is on the right:
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Then on Wednesday, she did the same thing again, this time with another Swedish paper:
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Since so much of this hinges on what Michael said in his response, I will post a short clip of that here, so we have the visual:
When AL's stories were first posted, I noticed a few comments on a post from @nightgoodomens from someone who speaks Swedish, and after reading the article, their observation was that all the magazines did was literally translate what Michael said, word for word (which we can then also further confirm by watching the video above).
So Michael's words were translated directly, and on top of that, Anna was not tagged by these papers, or contacted by reporters "for comment"--she seemingly sought out these news stories and shared them on her own social media. What's strange is that most of us would never have even seen them otherwise, and yet she chose to draw attention to them. And if these articles truly are meaningless clickbait, I'm confused as to why Anna would lash out so hard at them, especially if she feels as secure in her and Michael's relationship as she has wanted us to believe.
The other thing for me is that the one voice that is (again) noticeably absent here is Michael's. Nearly every post Michael has responded to/shared in relation to The Assembly was about a moment between him and one of the interviewers, Leo. Not only has the clip of Michael's answer to the age gap question gotten much less circulation/attention than the initial clip of the girl asking him the question, he has not said a single word about it since the show aired on April 5th.
He has especially not said anything about being misquoted (either in UK magazines/newspapers or international ones). And this becomes even more glaring when you realize that Michael immediately jumped on someone Twitter the day before AL shared that first story and corrected them for misquoting him (in regard to his comments about Welsh actors and Welsh roles). So it's very clear that if Michael thought he was being misquoted, there is no reason why he wouldn't speak up about it. And yet...complete silence.
I also find it interesting that for months, Michael was being attacked on social media, first in the aftermath of his comments about the situation in the Middle East, then more recently after recording a video saying hello to Good Omens fans in Russia. In both cases, he was defamed over and over again, accused of supporting war and genocide, and in general had his comments twisted and distorted beyond recognition--in other words, he was repeatedly misquoted (to put it mildly). Not once did Anna defend him against any of this. Not once was there an Insta story or anything speaking up in support of Michael. But as soon as it was something about her/their relationship, here she was posting these stories and letting us know exactly what her priorities are.
To your comments @lookforthelight97 about AL inadvertently saying the quiet parts out loud, that was also something that caught my attention. We could be here all day talking about the narrative and who is trying to change what, but for those who don't know, the narrative of her being 25 came from every media outlet stating that Michael and AL met in May of 2019...despite the fact that she gave birth to Lyra just four months later, in September.
It was this discrepancy that gave a lot of us the feeling that something was off even back in 2019 (and I would urge folks to check out @problematicwelshman, who covered a lot more of this at the time). In actuality, Michael and AL would have had to have met in late 2018 (when Anna was actually 24, as her birthday is in August) for her to then become pregnant and have the baby in September. All of this to say that if the official PR line for the last five years has been that they met in 2019, it makes you wonder why AL is suddenly publicly contradicting it, especially to show the lack of contentment she seems to feel about the relationship even after five (pardon me, six) years.
In any case, my incredulity is and continues to be at AL so readily showing her insecurities in this way, because all these two Insta stories have done is to draw more attention to her response than to the articles that are mentioned. Articles that again, none of us would have known about if she hadn't shared them. Yet as was said above, I don't think there is anything that anyone could post or write that casts doubt on Michael and AL's relationship the way her own social media posts do.
And to what you @vaguelyomens and @angelsadvocate96 said about Michael mentioning that his greatest fear is being alone, I feel like maybe Michael has such a fear of being alone because he already knows what it's like to feel alone. To know deep down that you are not remotely on the same page as the person you're in a relationship with. To know that they don't understand you and never will, but feeling responsible for them nonetheless, and not knowing how to reconcile those two things. It's difficult to imagine anything that would make someone feel more alone than that.
So, those are my thoughts on the Insta stories AL shared earlier this week. As I have said before, I know that I could be completely wrong, and I'm happy for folks to share their perspective, whether you agree or disagree. A heck of a lot to think about, for sure...
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The wibbledy wobbledy
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lurking-latinist · 2 months
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#I also keep seeing modern au aubrey-maturin art#that makes me wish I could draw and thereby contribute#unfortunately I can't even *write* modern aus generally. but I like transferring character dynamics from place to place in my brain#and I feel like I could do a university AU very nicely if I could do AUs at all#because I have had rowers in my class with as far as I could tell jack's exact personality#(unfortunately it has to be a US university AU because (a) that's what I know and (b) afaik nobody else does randomly assigned roommates)#(and I cannot pass up the opportunity for randomly assigned roommates.#OR RATHER#for 'you seem more or less human - quick let's request each other so we don't have to go into potluck'#I think that works best)#(but maybe they are both international students anyway. that works fine. & therefore extremely alarmed by potluck [can't say they're wrong]#sophie is a sorority girl. english major I think. and I can see her so clearly#(she's the part I want to draw)#she's not that into the high-octane social schedule her sorority expects her to have#but her pushy mother was a member and it is Unthinkable that sophie should not be#and a lot of the other girls are sweet :) so it's fine :) she says#feel like she has roommate issues (unlike her original self she is able to live away from mrs williams so this makes up for that)#so she's always over in jack and stephen's room. people who know her tangentially sometimes gossip about which one she's actually dating#(at that particular moment it is actually neither of them she's just hanging out with stephen)#diana freed from the shackles of 19th century womanhood creates even more and weirder drama than in canon#idk I just want to see the plot of post captain played out over text message#don't ask me HOW idk HOW i just want it#stephen is a biology major/pre-med obvs. if he can survive organic chemistry#jack is some kind of engineering major. I think he'd enjoy that with the math. diana has changed her major 7 times#(I don't know whether to put jack in rotc. I don't think it Actually actually fits - he's in the navy in canon because he's in the navy#not bc he's Inevitably Military In All Worlds. he would not want to do that if he didn't get to sail#but at the same time I find it hard to picture him not belonging to Discipline somehow.#it's more than a disinterested passion for cleanliness that drives him to wash stephen's mug for him that has had coffee and ramen in it#(and NOT in that order)#in the bathroom sink
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Very strange outfit that is sort of like.. a mix of my current style (pattern mixing, pom poms, fun sandals) combined with how I dressed when I was like 10 years old. The stereotypical skelanimals hoodie vest and the skull t-shirt lol.. 
#self#kit the cat you will always be famous#all that like 2004 - 2008 emo & scene fashion is kind of like goth fashion in that I largely am not into it really but ALSO I can respect#elements of the aesthetic. Especially pattern mixing. plaid with stripes?? with checker print also?? Very cool. Less with scene stuff since#the patterns were all like#animal prints which was worse hghjbjh.. cheeta print with zebra print with checkers is a little weirder. I think I just don't like animal#prints though. Striped parts of hair are cool though still actually to me unironically like. If it wasn't so associated with sceney stuff#still I would maybe have some stripes lol#Googling skelanimals now most of it is unappealing to me but there are a few things that are cool. there's a jacket that has stripes and#heart print mixed together. Do I just really like pattern mixing?? ghbjhbhj.. that seems like the qualification.#T-shirt? no . boring. I hate it. Will never wear it. Same exact t-shirt in the same exact style except part of it is floral and the other pa#rt is striped and it also has like lace lining or something so it's more detailed looking? wow . perfect. I love it.#Silly skull animal hoodie in plain black? boring. no. never. Same hoodie but now each sleeve is a diferent pattern? Wow.. truly amazing#I can be won over by anything that's gaudy/busy/over complicated. That quote about like ''once you think your outfit is perfect remove one#more accesory'' or whatever about minimalism and not overcomplicating a look except the opposte. Once you think your outfit is perfect add 8#more items. also they all should be different patterns. hghjbhj#ANYWAY.. I do like some of the concepts of some of the older fashion. Like t-shirt over a long sleeve shirt and they're both different#patterns. and then a skirt that's a different pattern. and some tights or socks that are also assymetrical or some like complimentary#other pattern. Stripes + plaid especially. Famous combination. And the having like 667495789789 little plastic bracelets. No idea what was#up with that since I'm too socially out of touch especially when I was in school (I remember hearing that like some colors#of bracelet mean different things or something) but it was an interesting aesthetic. And the wrist bands#The t-shirt is from walmart from when I think I wasnt even in middle school yet still late elementary school and I remember thinking it was#the coolest thing ever because usually you had to go to hot topic or something to get clothes with skulls on them. And it's so so weird look#ing like. the colors?? are ugly and shouldnt work but actually I still kind of like the aesthetic. green with pink and weird mustardy yellow#and gray??? Maybe I only like it because it has different patterns (skulls + checkers + dots + hearts)#Anyway it's a really funny t-shirt to me. One of those weird items that is captivating for some reason#And the hoodie I actually owned a long time ago too. but I think I got it later. I had one other skelanimals thing which was a jacket and it#was like 5 sizes too big for me which I loved. And I remember being really obsessed with the font they used on their tags and trying to#replicate writing that way. not the newer gothy one. but the old logo font like.. it looks like Curlz MT or something lol
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absintheanflare · 1 year
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me: idk the concept of extroversion and introversion just feels like another unneeded and honestly annoying attempt at categorizing people
me, after not consistently talking to people for 6 days: i am withering away. im dying i need to talk to someone i am s
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katya-goncharov · 2 years
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really seems weird that as a citizen of the uk I'm expected to mourn the queen more than i did my own grandfather
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Pt III good omens but i STILL SOMEHOW haven't watched it (and i'm increasingly passive aggressive)
i'm now basically held hostage adopted as mascot by this fandom. it's fine i'm fine *SIGNALS FOR HELP DESPERATELY*
Alright fuckers I swear this time I'm going to get some shit right. Without further ado, here's my third attempt at a good omens summary:
Everything everywhere is queer all at once
Angel Aziraphale and demon Crowley on earth likey each other
The car is a bentley and it is BLACK not silver and everyone is very upset about this. my bad yall it was reflecting light therefore i guessed more silver than black but I'm not Anish Kapoor take your black.
Then it is yellow, and aziraphale likes it. crowley preferred the black because he's a flamboyant emo.
God is a deadbeat absentee parent and you are all children of divorce.
There's a naked archangel and they cause problems for the husbands somehow. By being naked? By being an archangel? By being at their doorstep? Who knows not me
They were actually married for 6000 years, they just are the last to know about it.
Crowley is on fire. Like, he's slaying for sure, but also he is literally on fire, like Aziraphale's bookstore.
The actors like I said before are Michael Sheen and David Tennant but this is the place where I finally admit that I don't actually know who is whom. I'm going to assume Michael is Aziraphale because Michael sounds angel-y and David is Crowley because uh Michaelangelo made David and was gay for him.
Terry Pratchett is not fictional.
He co-wrote the book with @neil-gaiman, who IS fictional, because he does not have social media. Several of you have assured me that he is in fact a fandom inside joke. I like to think he would be proud of me.
They adopt a preteen and Crowley gives him bad advice.
At some point a baby was delivered to someone and was exchanged for the son of Satan. Idk if the baby is the preteen, or the son of satan is the preteen, or neither. This could be a fanfic, I have no way of differentiating the fanfic from canon on tumblr, except that the canon is weirder.
Crowley does not go down a chute. He goes down a telephone cord after making himself microscopic to pole dance on a pin with shroom-induced backgrounds.
During this his stage name is Disco Tony. Get it king go slay you're making better life choices than I am tbh.
Aziraphale is a biblically accurate angel, and you have all gone to extensive lengths to prove this to me. I understood nothing, but there you go.
It's all very queer, just like the fandom.
Crowley is a retired demon but he still sins by breaking the speed limit.
They eat at fancy restaurants and bicker but like in a sexual undercurrent way.
Crowley gives Aziraphale a private dance that is not a lap dance, it is an apology dance, but not in a kinky way, until it is.
Their haircuts keep changing and range from 'this is acceptable and gay' to 'i let a drunk chimpanzee take gardening shears and a blowtorch to my hair'
It's all ineffably queer my good fellows
Everyone keeps trying to convince me Neil Gaiman is the villain yeah no guys I know it's really you. Y'all be like 'SEASON TWO BROKE ME' and then you're making headcanons to make it sadder yeah I see you mmhm.
There is a final fifteen. It is sad. What is it? No one told me.
The demon turns goats into crows and the angel turns them back and then children are turned into newts (does the angel turn them back? who cares not yall) and the demon was the snake in the Eden garden and everyone's furry game seems to be on point.
There are a rather lot of children. I have not seen them. But I am assured they are there. They are, guys. I assume they were turned into the alcohol Aziraphale and Crowley drink or something.
There was an apocalypse plotline. It was averted. It is not important. You don't talk about plotlines in this fandom, no sir.
Crowley doesn't want to go to heaven. Aziraphale is sad.
The kiss is not nice, just like this fandom. It is queer, just like this fandom. It is sad and desperate and masochistic, just like this fandom.
Aziraphale doesn't want to stay back with Crowley. Crowley is sad.
Season 2 ends. Fandom is sad.
Everyone's sanity is hinging on the promise of a happy ending in season 3. Good luck guys.
Y'all better appreciate this. I can't even boast to my mother about this legacy of mine, hey mum your son has been held hostage kidnapped inducted into a cult adopted by a fandom he's not part of look he's winning at life.
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charliemwrites · 4 months
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Woof, grrr, woof
Your trip to the vet turns up nothing. No microchips, and none of the staff recognize the wolf-dog. They’re the only vet in town too, and he looks too pristine to have come from another…
“You’re a weird little guy, huh?” you muse on the car ride to the pet store.
The vet office was kind enough to make a file for him, standing name “Buddy”. If you get to keep him, you’re definitely changing it. They also gave you a spare leash so that you wouldn’t have to leave him in the car while you shop.
It’s a pitifully flimsy thing, but the dog seems leashed trained and does tug. Could probably let him off it and he’d stay glued to your side.
The shopping is even weirder. He doesn’t seem very distracted by treats or food, only snaps at other dogs when they get into his personal space. Otherwise, he just stays right next to you, tongue occasionally lapping at your hanging fingers.
“Beautiful dog,” a man says to you. An older guy, rugged, looking at toys.
You shift. “Thank you.”
“Should really be feeding a beast like that a raw diet.”
“Raw diet?”
“What they get in the wild. All that processed shite ain’t good for ‘em.”
You thank him for the advice over the dog’s grumbling. A quick internet search on your phone reveals it’s not a bad idea, actually. Not too expensive either.
“Raw it is,” you muse.
He tilts his head, make a low “woof”. You scratch absently at his ears as you continue shopping. Let him pick toys - his favorite a squeaky grenade of all things that he refuses to put down. You get a big matching set of food and water bowls, a cushy dog bed, a parasite repellent. Even some dog pads in case he’s not house trained.
You stall in the leash aisle, a bit overwhelmed by the choices of leashes and collars and harnesses.
“How do you feel about pink…?”
Snort.
“Yeah didn’t think so. I didn’t like the rhinestones anyway. You’d probably end up eating one and shitting glitter.”
A long whine.
“Oh, sorry, is that embarrassing? Poor love.”
The gentlest scrape of big teeth at your knuckles. You chuckle and tap two fingers on his sandpaper tongue. His head jerks back, tongue flicking in offense.
“S’what you get, dummy.”
Shaking your head, turn back to the selection. The pup huffs, shakes his head, and noses at something lower. It’s a deep green - army, you think the shade is called - collar with a silver buckle instead of a snap clip.
“Not bad,” you muse. “Matches the whole woodsy vibe we’ve got going.”
You find the matching leash and harness set, dropping it in your cart. You receive several more compliments on your big gorgeous dog, though he refuses to let anyone pet him. You awkwardly make excuses that he’s a recent rescue and try to avoid further conversation.
The last stop is at the kiosk for a tag. You can’t just let him go without one, but you despise officially naming him “Buddy.”
You end up just putting your name, number, and address on there. A matte black heart engraved with silver.
“What do you think?” you ask, offering it for a sniff.
The dog doesn’t even pretend to be interested, just takes the opportunity to drag his tongue over your wrist again. You huff and wipe off on your pants.
“Gonna have to take another bath at this rate.”
You ignore his grumble - it’s uncanny at this point, how quick he is to respond - and guide him out to the car. He hops into the passenger seat, flops over into your lap first chance he gets. You have to nudge his snout away from your crotch again, but he seems satisfied with a hand smoothing over his head.
Home is warm when you arrive. You set up your new dog’s things, buckle him into his new collar, tag and all.
“There,” you coo, dropping smooches all over his head. “Look at how handsome you are, sweet boy! Can I have a kiss?”
You yelp as he barrels you over onto your back, well over 100 pounds of wolf-dog stretching over you. You turn your face away as he licks at your mouth, trying to get inside. You remember reading somewhere that that’s a wolf thing; just another tick in the “hybrid” box.
“Gross, gross! Nooooo,” you laugh, covering his snout. You squeal as his tongue flickers between two fingers. “Nasty boy! You’re so rude!!”
He finally lets you up with much coaxing, looking far too pleased with himself.
You make yourself dinner, providing your dog with scraps of chicken and unseasoned veggies based on your online reading. He seems happy with the offering, eats it all up with gusto.
As the evening comes, you stretch out on the couch. Finally feel brave enough to put on a scary movie now that you’ve got a big-ass deterrent.
Your dog even climbs up to cuddle, head on your chest while you hug him through scary parts. The really interesting part comes at the end, during the climax.
“Heeeeeere’s Johnny!”
Your new companion perks up, eyes on the screen.
“Oh? Is… is that your name? Is your name Johnny?”
His head snaps around to you, ears straight up and eyes bright.
“Johnny…” you croon, trying it out.
He makes a little “boof” noise and wriggles closer.
“Johnny baby,” you continue, grinning. “Johnny boy. John John the bon bon.”
It’s utter nonsense, but it makes his tail thump against the cushions, leaving slobbery kisses of excitement all over your neck and jaw.
“Alright alright!” you laugh, dropping a kiss on the top of his nose. “Johnny it is. Thank fuck I don’t have to come up with a name. Was thinking of calling you Philip or Simon or something.”
You yelp as he starts to make gagging sounds, nearly kicking him off the couch before it seems to subside.
“Good lord, bud,” you breathe as he grumbles and settles his head on your thigh, puffing out a big breath through his nose. “You’re gonna be a handful.”
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ohnoitstbskyen · 2 months
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I know it would probably bring a lot of hate comments but I am begging you to roast the hazbin character designs because I'd love to have someone properly articulate why they don't work so I could send it to people who won't believe me when I tell them. 🫠 Understandable if you don't want to get into it though.
I don't think there's that much there to roast, honestly?
Those designs are clearly an extremely specific stylistic choice, and because that style is consistent throughout the show, it ultimately feels coherent with itself.
There are trade-offs being made. Because Hazbin's design style is SO stylized and so heavy on decoration and detailing, because it puts a lot of emphasis on costuming, it isn't as good at communicating specific character storytelling as a more grounded style could be (it's kind of the same tradeoff that stuff like Genshin Impact makes).
Like, why does Sir Pentious' hat have an eye and a mouth on it that makes its own expressions? Apparently not for very much reason at all, except that Pentious has a bit of an eyes-motif going on in his design and it was one more place to put an extra eye. And that's a valid criticism of his design, but also the entire show is designed like that, so frankly it would be weirder and more out of place if his design alone didn't have that kind of overelaborate decoration going on.
It does create a situation where I have a hard time "reading" the character designs sometimes. For example, Vox, Alastor and Pentious all wear a similar style of suit with upwards-turned shoulders, butterflies and pinstripes. Now, am I meant to read that as Vox imitating Alastor due to his crippling need to replace and outdo him, and Pentious imitating the style of powerful Overlords because he thinks that possessing their level of power will finally give him relief from his paranoia and self-loathing?
Or is it just a design fixation of the creator who keeps putting their characters in suits because that's just what they like? I can't really be sure, because sometimes design elements are used to intentionally tell stories about how characters relate to themselves, their world and one another, but plenty of other times designs look the way they do Because Of Vibes.
But again, that lack of clarity is clearly an intentional trade-off - and the benefit of that trade-off is a design style that is extremely varied, wild, expressive and memorable. Hazbin Hotel seems like a very easy show to draw fanart of, and a very fun show to draw fanart of. Those designs (especially the hyper-expressive faces) are begging to be the subjects of traumatic headcanons, unbearably cotton-candy soft fluff fantasies and weird, taboo, homoerotic power dynamics. Slaps roof of character design, this bad boy can express so much vicarious emotional intensity.
It's very exuberant, very excited about itself and very self-indulgent, it's a style that prioritizes visual impact and visual interest over readability (something which the animators of the show navigate with real skill, props to them) and individual aesthetics over worldbuilding.
And I don't blame anyone for being turned off by that (I certainly was the first time I started seeing those designs going around), but I would struggle to call the show's designs "bad" when they are clearly achieving exactly what they want to achieve.
I have some criticisms, especially re: how the show treats skinny bodies as an unquestioned, desirable default, and employs fatness as a means of alienating and abjecting the audience. That sucks very badly, and is a serious disappointment, and one of the few places where the show feels like it is being cowardly in its design philosophy. But I don't have it in me to do some kind of Hazbin Hotel Sucks And Here's Why takedown, its problems are not unique or extreme enough to warrant it, at least not as I currently understand them.
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nicosraf · 6 days
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Wait what did Freydis Moon do? :( I've read their books and really liked them, but I don't follow them anywhere online, so that last ask you got worried me
Freydis Moon has been exposed to be Taylor Barton, a white person from the state of Oregon, someone who had a history of faking their race, being racist, and general abusive behavior. You can read more here about this Taylor person here, and you can find an incredibly long thread here.
Freydis was a colleague of mine, and they took me under their wing when I entered the indie book scene. They presented themselves as a Latine, mystic, queer trans author — who was older than me, I should add — so I deeply admired them and confided in them. I don't think ABM would have ever gotten much attention if I hadn't received their guidance.
There had been some whispers that Freydis was really Taylor, but I'd seen Frey's seemingly darker-skinned hands and heard their real name, which was supposedly Daniela.
Two things I should say before the big reveal: Freydis briefly hired a publicist named Cordi, who was also an agent with their own agency, named The Lynne Agency. Cordi, very randomly, decided to leave the industry and left their clients, and Freydis, hanging. Someone else to mention is Saint Harlow, an author of gay, cannibal erotica. On twitter, Saint was known for peddling a lot of drama — sometimes, he was on the good side of things and sometimes the bad, but he tended to be a massive bully. Freydis allegedly comforted some of Saint's victims.
And the reveal:
Freydis is the race faker Taylor Barton. The evidence is substantial, but most notably, some of the files they shared with other authors, including me, had metadata with the names of Taylor Barton's other identities. I was able to check the files myself to confirm.
They were also Saint Harlow. Meaning Freydis was bullying people secretly on one account and comforting them on another. And the bullying was a lot more disgusting than you might think, but for the sake of the victim, I won't share details.
They were also the publicist/agent Cordi. Why did they pretend to be an agent at all? I'm not sure but they wasted a lot of authors' times, that's for sure. Were they just looking to plagiarize off manuscripts sent to them? Who knows. (A friend of mine who sent their manuscript to them fears so).
There were a lot of interactions between Taylor and I that are much much weirder in retrospect. They critiqued the industry use of #ownvoices, which I agreed about, but blew the issue out of proportion, like thinking #ownvoices gay-trans author book lists shouldn't exist because of potential outing, mlm books by mlm authors lists shouldn't exist because of potential outing, and that lists of books by people of color about people of color also shouldn't exist because... potential outing? Taylor was, to me, oddly sympathetic toward certain authors accused of racism and shot down my concerns of a certain book with what I felt to be pro-colonizer themes inconsistently — their response to racism seemed to depend on whether they already disliked a person or not.
I could say a lot more but as someone who spoke to Taylor in private at times, there were a lot of things I was unsure about even when I was on their side of things. To some people, apparently, Freydis had said they were part Mexican, but only ever told me they were Peruvian (they might've known I'd clock them as a faker). Regardless, when this all came to light, their response was shockingly dismissive.
This may be more info than you asked for but TLDR:
Freydis Moon faked their race and ethnicity, bullied and manipulated many readers and authors using various fake identities, took advantage of latine author resources, and so on.
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ingravinoveritas · 5 months
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I've already shared many of my thoughts on Staged winning two I Talk Telly awards today and the subsequent acceptance speech videos for those awards, but I can't stop thinking about Michael not being in either video.
Michael and David are the heart and soul of Staged. It's not a far reach to say that they are the reason Staged came to exist in the first place, after Simon witnessed their amazing chemistry in GO, and that they are also the reason it continued on for as many seasons as it did. I am in no way attempting to diminish the supporting cast, but there is a reason that Michael and David keep winning the acting-related awards and no one else has.
For them/the show to collect two new awards (Best Comedy and Best Comedy Partnership) and Michael to appear nowhere in either acceptance speech video is very strange at best, and at worst, downright concerning. And it is further not helped by the way in which the videos are presented. It would actually be much less bizarre if we only saw David and Georgia's video, as they did the same exact thing when Michael and David won that same award in 2021 (when Michael was sick with Covid, which was why he wasn't in the video). So it makes sense for them to have gone this particular route:
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...And then we have Anna's video. A video that contains cardboard cutouts of David and Georgia in the background, and in which Michael is neither seen nor even mentioned, which seems thoughtless at best given that Michael is the reason Anna was in the show in the first place (and apparently as a very last minute addition).
And for some reason, Lyra is the one speaking while they are both in front of the cutouts and AL is standing there like she's giving away a new car on The Price Is Right:
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I'm just honestly at a loss for what the reasoning was behind this. Because all it does is draw more attention to the fact that Michael is missing, that he's been virtually absent from Twitter since the end of October, and that he's been previously reluctant to promote Staged and is apparently equally reluctant to appear in a video with his own girlfriend co-star (as he himself once referred to her, mere moments after saying that he loves David).
Whatever the case may be--if someone from PR has told Michael to continue laying low, if he's busy with rehearsals for the play he's about to star in, or if Michael is fully over promoting Staged in any capacity--none of this seems normal. I'd love to hear what my followers think, of course, so please feel free as always to speak your mind in the comments on this post...
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faetreides · 26 days
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summary: paul atreides x plus sized afab servant!reader
cw: power imbalance, somnophilia (dubcon in my mind as the reader wouldn’t push him away if they woke up but feel free to skip this if you could feel icked out by it), petplay (cheated again and didn’t make it explicit but it’s very petplay coded in a way), size difference (paul’s the skinny bf that would fall over if a gust of wind was strong enough), paul eats reader out, crack treated seriously vibes bc he’s so awkward 💀, ambiguous somno occasion (like how the reader fell asleep), implications of improper use of the voice but it’s weak for this paul era so reader could probably push against it, possible dune lore inaccuracies idk don’t think just vibe
wc: 1k +
block & move on if uncomfortable !!!
don’t repost, translate, or give ai my work
kinktober masterlist
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You’re having the same dream again. Paul Atreides, the duke’s son who you are tasked with looking after is the star.
He looms over you as you lie flat on your back, though in your dream you’re never in your servant’s quarters. No, the surrounding walls bear a more striking resemblance to Paul’s bedroom. You’re always groggy in the dream, which is a strange feeling to have when you usually are profoundly awake in your other dreams.
You’ve only been having this one since you arrived on Caladan from a smaller planet with no name that they took ownership of. Paul Atreides had seemed to seek you out like a moth to a flame, making a beeline for you and demanding in front of your mother that his father hire you. Even weirder was the fact that the ships belonging to the Atreides left immediately after you agreed to go with them, as if the trip had only one purpose.
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“Shh, mouse, it’s just me. Don’t wake up.” He whispers, nuzzling his nose against yours and pecking your lips.
You lie there in a daze, eyes wide and mouth agape as Paul reaches for the fastenings of your top. It’s an orange silk number he gifted you, all your clothes are. Your breaths come out in shallow pants, the disbelief that Paul Atreides would be disrobing you with the intent to bed you is overwhelming. He gives your plush curves loving squeezes as he reveals more and more skin.
Eventually you’re stark naked under him. You sluggishly try to cover yourself with your hands but Paul swiftly knocks them aside, pinning them to your sides so he can drink in the mouth watering image. You have no idea how many dreams he has had of you, ones concerning moments like these and ones about the life you’ll experience together in between. A gaggle of tiny feet playing tag around his throne, domestic mornings of blissful silence waltzing in the dining room.
“I…. I have never seen anyone as beautiful as you, i swear it.” Your heart skips a beat, despite knowing very well that this is all some passing fancy. Dreams never have to see the light of day, so you can luxuriate in your delusions.
Paul leans down to shakily mouth at your collarbone, scraping his teeth against the skin and playing with your love handles. You whimper as he litters your rough skin with love bites, you open your mouth to apologize that it’s not as smooth as a noble consort’s would be, but something in the way he shoves his tongue in your mouth to silence you tells you he somehow already knows.
You poke and pull at his dark shirt, the fine black material feeling like heaven but you’d rather it cover your garments next to the bed.
Paul chuckles, nipping at your lips and pulling back to shirk his clothing off. He throws it across the room and goes back to kissing his way down your thick body. Once he reaches your stomach, he takes extra special care to dote on the rolls of skin, softly kissing and pressing his forehead against them.
“You would be a beautiful bride, you know…”
“Um… thank you, sir.” You squirm, all the attention on someone like you from someone like your employer’s son becoming too real. The Paul Atreides would sooner be lost to the sands of Arrakis than utter those words to you in the waking world, but perhaps your long harbored infatuation has leaked into your subconscious.
He smiles, as if charmed by your shyness. “You’re welcome, mouse.”
His favorite nickname for you, given to you due to your adorable scurrying around to avoid others and shy high pitched squeaks that you use instead of words. (Also because he saw you crouch in a corner and nibble on a piece of bread that you had managed to snag from the table.)
He sits back on his heels to grab your thighs, the skin bulging in between his fingers. He draws you into a slow and sensual kiss as he pushes them apart and sinks into the empty space. You squeak in shock when you feel something stiff press against your wet pussy, but Paul only shushes you in your head and you relax again.
“Mmm~” He hums, flicking his tongue against the seam of your lips and lifting himself to hover over you once more.
He winks before tightening his grip on your thighs and stretching them wide enough for him to slink down and have access to the small hole at their apex.
You jolt when he presses a soft kiss to the top of your mound. You squeak and try to close your thighs around his head but he doesn’t let you, keeping your thighs pinned to the bed and licking a flat stripe up your pussy.
“So sweet, mouse….” Paul grins and repeats the motion a few times. “I could just spread you out over the table whenever I need to eat.”
You moan at the attention, desperately wishing that you could grind against Paul’s mouth but it feels like something more than his grip is holding you back, something about the touch seeming too vivid. You shake the thought away and sink your fingers into his hair, brushing any strays away from his face as he moves to suck on your clit.
He hollows out his cheeks a bit to get better suction on your fat clit. Paul nuzzles his face as deep into you as he can possibly get, the chubby lips of your pussy sandwiching his nose. You wrench your eyes shut as your pleasure builds and builds, but a single thin finger eases into your hole right as you’re about to tumble over the edge. The intrusion isn’t painful so much as it is entirely foreign to you, the second finger goes in much easier.
The combination of eating you out and finger fucking you makes the knot in you stomach blessedly come undone. Paul swallows it all down like there’s no better substance in the grand scheme of the universe.
You hope to have this dream again tomorrow, even at the cost of being able to look Paul Atreides in the eyes.
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lady-ashfade · 2 months
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Blood And Pressure
Part four
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Yandere!Pjo × Fem!Grisha!reader. (Platonic yandere gods) (romantic!various characters)
-♡ Chapters: Previous // Next
-♡ this is a shadow & bone slight crossover. Reader is a heartrender and that's all really (maybe more in the future!)
-♡ words: 1k
-♡ Please note that all characters are aged appropriately, so all characters are older versions of the book characters. So 17-19 characters for these, you can choose any of them really. Just that they are older teens.
-♡ warnings: short, yandere behaviors, obsession, stalking, slightly sick love, possessive, manipulative, gaslighting, platonic yandere too, blood powers, powerful powers but not godly, and future warnings when more chapters come out.
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You’d like to say you could understand everything that was happening but you had not even a small clue. You sat in the big house with your bag in hand while the two adults argue over you.
“I forbid her to leave, she’s not hera’s child,” you sink back while Mr.d points his finger at you, “she belongs here, with me.”
The god fought for you to stay with him, he kept you happy and feed, even made you smile. All for someone else to claim you? It made his blood boil and you could see it on his face as he shouts.
“She’s been claimed and even if we don’t understand, it is how things have to be.” Chiron sounded disappointed but stern. Of course he would stay up for you, like he always does. He hated for you to leave but you wanted so badly to leave them and have friends and he could understand.
“Mr.d,” you step forward to the god, “I’ll make you a promise.”
“And what’s that kid?” He hated how he spoke to you but he was just too heated that he could banish everyone kid from camp.
“I’ll come visit and play cards with you every week?” You try and bargain your time, even when the thoughts made your bones tighten at thinking of being stuck like that again.
He looked down at you with a suspicious glare while he thought it over. He didn’t have a choice but that didn’t mean he liked it. So finally he let out a breath and agreed while rushing off and mumbling under his breath.
The next stop you had was weirder.
The cabin was dark and empty. Cold and you could feel your spine shiver at the lack of heat. You glanced around but found no furniture to even sit on. No one was supposed to sleep here. Hera had no half-blood offsprings because unfaithfulness was not her way, and yet here you stand being claimed by her. And something tells you all the gods had something to do with it. Mr. D seemed to be more jealous when he spoke about the queen of gods. Like she was unworthy to have you.
“I suppose we’ll be needing to fetch some essentials for your new home.” Chiron tried to sound happy.
“Don’t worry,” you hold up your arms that carried pillows as far as you can with a reassuring smile, “I’ll survive.” and truth be told your bed was the one thing you would miss about staying there.
You find yourself walking up to the firepit and staring up at the statue of hera holding her staff. The way her eyes looked…you felt calm, but almost afraid of what it would be like to look in the real ones. She wasn’t someone to mess with while even her husband feared her wrath.
“So, Chiron?” You ask. You continue to stare up at the stone goddess. “Do you know why she claimed me.” there wasn’t much hope he’d share his insight. the centaur kept quiet for a second to consider his next words wisely.
“Just as clueless to me. Maybe we’ll get some information in the morning after a goodnight sleep.” Just as you thought. Not a peep from him.
You nod and turn around and place everything you had on the floor which wasn’t much but you were glad you had all you did. Chiron handed you the blankets with a smile on his face and for a minute it looked like he was going to cry while he looked at you.
So you open your arms wide and pull him into a hug, or what you could reach and he chuckles deeply and pats your head. In all his years you were his favorite to ever walk into this camp and to guide you. To him, camp was nothing without you.
You settled in quickly while unpacking what you could to make you feel at home. You had two blankets, one on the floor and pillows on top and the other over yourself. You tried to pick a place to the fire without burning up or being too cold.
And for the first time you were all alone to your own thoughts.
“Pst” a hushed whisper called out from no where. The voice startled you as you jump forward and grab ahold of the nearest thing, your old book.
“I’m not going to hurt you. I’m a camper.” The voice had no body to go along with it making you confused. Was it one of Apollos children? Whoever they were they didn’t belong here.
“Says the person who stays hidden.”
The person in question lets out a laugh and then you see a figure appearing out of no where. A blue cap was the first thing you notice as they move their hand down with it grasped. A girl with a orange camp shirt, pretty eyes and blonde hair twisted into a braid.
“You grab a book to hurt me? Almost seems like you know me.” She smirked amusingly.
She had been watching you since you arrived at camp two years ago when she could, she grew to now you like no one else did. And now you’re out and into the camp with her she couldn’t let you walk without keeping a eye on you. You arrived with percy, another person she needed to watch so it was easy.
“What’s you name?” You ask the mysterious girl.
“Annabeth, consider me your guide from now on.” She walked further and stood above you. Her wicked smile seemed off just like everyone else you have seen.
“What cabin are you from? I heard some kids saying Apollos kids-” she cut you off by waving the hat in her hand.
“Athena.” You nod.
“And you’ll need me.” You tilted your head at her words and arched your brows. Need her? What was she talking about.
“For what? I mean I’m glad to have a friend but..” taking a deep breath as her eyes glint with something almost dangerous.
“For capture of the flag.”
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Taglist: @maria699669 @gorgeourrific-nerd @alliriseabove @targaryenluvs @theaaeht @dabalyuteeeftia @weepingwitchofthewest @iris1587 @tulipmagnoliaisme @ameliashideout @purplerose291 @poppyflower-22 @riaaavm @anonymouslyawesome25 @orionspaperwork @a-cat-loverr @Ilpovi @eatmyassfictionalstyle @theanklebiter-blog @nasyu-kookies
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