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2bored2care · 4 years

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Noona || Ateez

↳ About — After months without seeing each other, you and Ateez decide to have a fun night out in a hip nightclub in Hongdae. A sudden argument cuts your celebrations short, but a late night visit promises to get your mood up again.

↳ Pairing — ? x reader

↳ Genre — idol!ateez, producer!reader, friends to lovers, smut, fluff, slight angst, noona!reader

↳ Word count — 16k+

↳ Rating — M/+18

↳ Warnings — None, but it's mature content. Be aware that the main character is older than the boys. Secret pairing (revealed during the story!)

↳ Cross-post — AO3

Author’s Note: this originally had an OC, but I changed it to be reader insert. Still, there are some descriptions of the main character. Wasn't proofread. Might have a continuation but works just fine as a oneshot! This was my first time writing mature content (and my first writing piece in god knows how long) so bear with me hehe Any feedback is always appreaciated!

Some days are easier than others. Today was definitely on the bad side, that's why a night out with friends seemed like the best idea to cool off. After countless stressful meetings at work, including passionate discussions with coworkers and complications with important clients, you couldn't wait to get home, take a nice shower and spend a few hours invested in a hot look for the night.

You see, it's not every night that your eight best friends are available for some fun, much less including a nice pajama party with lots of wine, soju and bad TV shows. There's good and bad in being friends with an idol group, although the bad likes to manifest more often than not. Ateez's maknae didn't exactly celebrate his definite passage to adulthood properly - that is, didn't get wasted like there's no tomorrow and make bad decisions at some stinky club at the hip side of town - thanks to their schedule, so imagine your surprise when you received a very excited call during your shitty afternoon.

Jongho had called you to make sure you had no plans for the night and share interesting news: they had the weekend off and a nice VIP section in one of the best spots in Hongdae. Lots of free drinks, good music and, the best of all, no curfew. That, of course, came with one small price, that only seemed good to you in the end. All eight boys needed to sleep over yours. Something common when you had late nights, since some crazy fans - better yet, sasaengs - loved camping at their dorm door, and news of all of them coming home stupidly drunk at who knows what hours was terrible publicity.

That call came at the best time possible; a way to brighten your cloudy day. After talking to him and the loud boys screaming at the back, your little free time during the day was spent planning your outfit, makeup and hair. Everyone needs some me-time at times. You definitely needed it today, no doubt. That's why you decided to clock out a little earlier and ran home as soon as you could. The boys were excited, but not nearly as excited as you. It felt like years since you all had enough time to actually share a conversation - their overseas tour left you a little needy and missing them a bit too much.

Living in South Korea and working with entertainment left you with very little friends, and ever since you started getting close to the idol group, that list got even smaller. Imagine the horror if the world knew any of them was hanging around with a woman - a foreigner, no less! If their fans knew they ever slept at your house, all hell would be loose. But you wouldn't change it for the world, no matter how many times the boys apologized or needed to cancel on you. You loved them all too much nonetheless, always a soft heart, even with your permanent resting bitch face.

Only a few people in your life knew of such friendship, including your closest friends back at home. They were huge fans of the group, but would never tell a soul of your closeness. That's why the boys were fond of them, they knew they would be there for you, always. Although they never met, the plan was still there! You intended to visit home when the boys would perform in your home country, so to make sure the crazy encounter would happen - your friends might've forced you to pinky-promise to introduce them, not that you'd hold it against them anyway.

After months without being able to see the group, you decided to go all the way with your look for the night. It was a special occasion, after all! Heading home, you had a close idea of what you were shooting for, knowing that you'd need to let loose soon or you'd burst.

Even if some would think being around such handsome men would be bad for your already fucked up self esteem, their effect was the opposite. They made you feel alive and noticed. No matter where you were, you were sure that you were accompanied by the hottest guys in the room. And, even in a platonic way, you knew you were the one they were spending the whole night with. Not just that, but it gave you a nice excuse to get dressed up properly, since you had to measure up!

All you could think about was the beautiful - and sinful - little dress you'd bought weeks prior. The velvet piece caught your attention while you were walking in a busy street. You weren't one to buy dresses, that's for sure, but you were also looking for a change and that dress meant just that. With the burgundy piece in mind, you started to finish planning your look while riding the subway home. The club wasn't far from your apartment complex - Seul was a small city compared to your not-so-missed hometown - so you had more than enough time to get your game face on.

At home, you rushed to take a well-deserved hot shower, getting your hair a little humid so you could model it however you wanted. The long locks fell over your shoulder to your waist, a mix of platinum blond, gray and dark pink. You had just changed it - something common for you - and were happy it looked as good as you hoped when you did it late at night last Saturday. With some mood making music on, you were ready to get started.

You curled your hair in a 50's fashion, one of your favorite looks, and pushed it back to get your makeup done. Always a sucker for autumn colors, you did your eyes with a smoky brownish red and orange palette, finishing it with a long cat-eye, your trademark. You did your skin next, making sure to put some rose-colored blush on your cheeks, as if you maybe had a drink or two before leaving. Some highlighter to finish it nicely, and a gradient for your lips. Dark red on the inside, blending with a light brown nude matte lipstick you loved wearing. 24 hours effect, of course. You planned on drinking as much as you could and your makeup needed to still be there once the night was over!

When you were satisfied with your makeup, you took your fishnets tights and the burgundy velvet dress, heading to get dressed. The dress hugged your curves perfectly - and you were very proud of them, of course, knowing that all that time you spent working out wasn't for nothing. The barely-there straps fell into a beautiful, plunged neckline, showing just enough cleavage. The dress ended mid-thigh, letting your tattoo be seen. It had a V-shaped cut on the back, ending in a zipper that went until almost the hem of the dress. It showed your back tattoo beautifully, the color complementing the cherry blossom art. It was perfect, simple as that. With the nude fishnets with tiny strass rocks, a matching velvet choker with golden details and your black high heeled boots, it was the best look you wore all year, and it only got you more excited for what was to come - you felt like you could do anything.

You texted your group chat, knowing it was almost time to leave. The boys told you your name was on the list and they were already heading that way. You took one last look in the mirror, adjusting your cleavage and messing your hair a bit. After preparing the house for your late night guests, you took your dark blue jean jacket, your black clutch and had a shot of soju to get started.

Once you got out of the elevator, Hongjoong texted you to let you know they were already there and settled. Your stomach was flipping from how excited you were. The thought of a great night had you with a smile stuck on your face. Your taxi arrived while you were writing back, so you just said you'd be there in five and got in the car.

Inside the fairly packed club, you went to the back and talked to the bouncer to be let into the secluded VIP area. You could see the boys sitting at a sofa with three tables, up the stairs, looking every bit as handsome as you could remember, if not more. God really had His favorites and all eight of those boys made the list. It was unfair how they looked effortlessly beautiful, as if they owned the place - and if they told anyone that, no one would even doubt it. It just served as a reminder that they really belonged in the public eye. It'd be a waste if they did anything else - not to mention how talented they are, of course.

Hongjoong was the first to catch your attention. His bright blue hair contrasted perfectly with his all black look. He wore black dress shoes, combined with dress pants and a half-buttoned black dress shirt. The sleeves were rolled up, turning the fancy outfit into a great choice for a fancy club. His hair was pushed back, and his earrings shone in the low, reddish light of the space. To top it off, he wore a gold chain and a leather choker. His light makeup, a mix between his stage aura and his street looks, complemented his look incredibly well.

To his left, Mingi sat, relaxing back into the leather sofa with a drink in hand. His a-bit-too-long blonde fringe was tossed to the side, with hairspray making sure it wouldn't fall in his eyes. Also wearing all black, he sported a tight turtleneck, showing his slim body well. With a suit jacket clashing with his black, ripped skinny jeans and dress shoes, he looked like he belonged in a runaway. He laughed at something the eldest said, pulling a bit at his collar.

Seonghwa was laughing and kept talking, inclined to the front. His tye-dye blue button-up had at least five buttons unbuttoned, showing a little of his toned chest - he seemed to have gained a nice bronze hue while on tour. He wore light jeans and casual shoes. His hair was also parted to the side, still sporting silver highlights. His earrings dangled as he laughed, and his rings drew attention to his elegant hands.

Yeosang sat at Hongjoong's right side, seeming preoccupied with his phone while his hyungs conversed. His blonde mullet was partially covered by a red beanie. He wore a jean jacket with black, ripped pants. They had something written in black and red letters, clearly a designer piece. Beneath his jacket was a white, printed shirt. His pants ended in a simple, dark blue sneaker. Although he sported a loose demeanor, his face showed he was a bit anxious. It had been a long time since they went out at home, and it seemed like he would take a bit longer to really relax.

Jongho was at his side, trying to get his attention. His bright, copper hair fit perfectly with the club environment. His feet were moving to the beat of whatever song was on, his dress shoes shining every now and then under the high table. He wore a simple, black shirt, complemented by black, ripped, skinny jeans. They seemed to be the groups' favorite clothing item lately. Over it all, he wore a velvet, mustard jacket. It matched his hair and skin tone just right, and he didn't look as much like the cute maknae anymore.

Seonghwa turned to Yunho, who seemed focused on trying to understand what they were talking about. As soon as the eldest talked to him, he opened a big smile, closing his eyes and tossing his head back in a heartfelt laugh. His simple, golden necklace was shaking along with his chest while he tried to calm down. His white, low cut shirt showed his collarbones, his skin also golden after the time abroad. Over it he wore a black leather jacket, with small details on the sleeves and on the shoulders. He was wearing black, bomber pants, with big pockets on both sides and a small chain on the right side. His black and white dancing sneakers were also being beat along with the music, and he never looked so relaxed. He's light, pink hair was a bit messy, probably suffering from the amount of times he ran his hand over it, pushing it back - the same gesture he was repeating now, making his grandpa's ring appear in the low light.

San was standing up, facing the crowd downstairs while leaning on the balcony and moving his hips slightly to the music, like the movement came naturally to him - which seemed to be the utmost truth. His light look seemed to contrast with the rest of the group. While everyone seemed to rely on black for at least a piece or two, he wore a cream, dress shirt, unbuttoned in the same pattern as the others. He paired it with highwaisted, almost white jeans and white sneakers. His blonde, ash hair was a little longer, and fell perfectly over his face while he looked around. His gold earrings matched with his bracelets and chain, and no matter how shinning the objects were, they couldn't stand a chance over his chilled smirk; lips moving slowly, mouthing the lyrics to the song being blasted at the moment.

While he was distracted, Wooyoung came up to him with two shots of soju, scaring his groupmate in a friendly way. They laughed together, and Wooyoung tossed his dark brown hair back, before taking the shot. He licked his lips and smiled, saying something you couldn't understand from where you were standing. He also wore long earrings, matching with a few leather bracelets. He sported a light blue jean ensemble, but his jacket looked long forgotten on the sofa. His white shirt clinged to his body perfectly, and the rolled sleeves over his shoulder highlight his arms - he clearly had been working out. His black, leather belt was the only dark item he wore. The white converse sneakers seemed to be brand new, shining with a light red tone thanks to the lighting of the area. He looked around, as if searching, and his eyes landed on you, on the bottom of the stairs, trying to get the bouncer's attention. Although you couldn't exactly hear him, you could see clearly what he mouthed, while smirking.

"Noona!"

You looked at him and laughed, pointing at the bouncer and making a mock annoyed face. He didn't say anything, just smiled back and started to walk slowly towards you. He seemed to eye you up and down, trying to figure out what you were wearing and failing - you were surrounded by a few people and the bouncer covered you almost completely.

"Excuse me! Hi!" you said, flashing a friendly smile. "My name is on the list, I'm-"

"With us," before you could finish, Wooyoung butted in, finally reaching you. "You can let her in."

The bouncer only nodded and stepped aside, letting you through to the VIP area. You took a few steps but were stopped by Wooyoung, who then took two back to look at you in the dim, mock corridor light.

"Fuck, noona, this is definetly new," he smirked. "You look amazing."

"Look at you, swearing like this!" you laughed, slapping him lightly on the shoulder and smirking back. "I'd twirl for you, baby, but I don't wanna have to do it twice, so you'll have to wait just a bit."

"Why not just for me? I thought I was special," he joked.

"You are, but I'm also too anxious to see all of you to waste time under the stairs."

"You hurt me like this!"

"Come on, now. I need to see how everyone will react to this look. It took me long to look this good!"

"I missed you too much, you know?" he laughed and hugged you.

He pulled you by the hand, heading upstairs towards their booth. The anticipation of seeing all of them again made you nervous and excited at the same time; your stomach turning. You could see their confused looks when Wooyoung climbed the stairs turning to realization when they saw he was bringing someone along. It seemed to take them a beat to recognize you - the last time you saw each other was a messy sleepover that probably ruined your reputation with them forever, and the same the other way around.

San took a step closer, saying your name happily and coming in for a hug. You gladly held him back, smiling back at him. Once he let you go he mimicked Wooyoung's action from a moment before, stepping back and looking at what you were wearing. All the boys called for you and you laughed, joyous to be with them again after so long.

"How's our late-birthday boy tonight?" you said, smiling at Jongho.

"Pumped to start celebrating!" he smiled back.

"You look great, noona!" Hongjoong added, smiling fondly at you.

"My, my! Thank you, Hongie. You guys look amazing, as always! It must be exhausting to look so good all the time," they laughed, a few standing up to come and hug you. "Before you mess my outfit hugging the life out of me, I promised Woo a twirl."

"The runaway is yours," Mingi joked.

"Oh well, if it is, I'll make it count."-you tossed your hair back, placing your clutch on one of the tables.

Taking a step back, almost leaning on the balcony, you took your jacket off. The dress looked even better with the red and blue light shining over it, and your fishnets were glowing perfectly with the rocks reflecting the light. You tossed your jacket playfully at San, who just smirked and placed it on the sofa, next to Wooyoung's. You twirled slowly, making a few poses and putting your hair to the side, falling over your front, on the left.

You started to walk towards them, swaying your hips and smiling; certainly enjoying the playful atmosphere. With a final 180 turn, showing your back tattoo and looking back, you finally head towards the sofa, hiding your face with an embarrassed smile while the boys laughed and clapped at you.

"God, I missed you all so, so much," you laughed, trying to look at all of them and take them in.

"We missed you too," Yeosang answered, smiling softly. "And now we can start this party."

"Of course! Thanks for waiting for me."

"It's not like we had to wait for long. And we did get a head start on the drinking part, so you should try and match us, noona!" Seonghwa said while pouring you two shots of soju.

"Can you guys stop calling me that?" you groaned. "I'm only two years older than you, Hwa! You make me feel like a grandma when you keep calling me 'noona'. I have a name and you're more than welcome to use it."

"The more you get mad about it, the more we're gonna use it and you know it," Yunho said, laughing while he looked at his phone.

"Okay! Rule one of the night, created specially because of Yeosang and Yunho!"-both of them looked at you the second you mentioned their names-"Cellphones on the table! Come on, guys. I haven't seen you in forever and we're celebrating tonight. Together! Let's forget about the whole virtual world for a while now, okay?"

"Now you sound like a grandma," Yeosang said back, but he let go of his phone anyway, a small smile betraying him.

"Yunho?" you said, expectantly.

"Fine, fine. You're right. Let's get this started."

"Yay!" you cheered. "You've made me happier already. Now let's start drinking!"

You tossed back both soju shots, smiling devilish while pouring two more. After finishing filling up your cups, you served everyone else, two bottles gone in a blink. Before you knew it, you were on your fifth round, and switching to fancy cocktails you had a hard time pronouncing. It was always clear that you handled alcohol better than most of them, so you passed their number in no time.

"Who wants to dance?" Wooyoung said, getting up and interrupting the small talk going around the booth. When nobody answered, he pouted. Just then, a reggaeton song came up.

"Oh, god! Me! I love this song," you replied, smiling and getting up, already dancing playfully. "Who'll join us? It's terrible to be the only ones dancing in this section!"

When silence took place again, you and Wooyoung exchanged looks and started pulling the boys, one by one, up. Some playfully tried to sit again, but you two were keen on getting everyone on the dance floor on the upstairs area, hoping it would help the group loosen up.

"You're almost taller than me today, if feels weird," Hongjoong said, laughing.

"Oh, stop." you said, smiling softly at him. "Don't tease me or I'll wear the 6 inch heels next time!"

"It feels like ages since I last danced like this," he said, a few moments later, holding your hands and dancing terribly on purpose.

"There's no better way to dance," you answered, matching his steps.

"I can think of a lot of ways that are better than this mess!" Seonghwa laughed.

"But you wouldn't want it any other way, right?" you clapped back, smiling. "Me neither."

A strong hip hop song came on, and you, Mingi and Yunho shared wide grins, already going to the middle of the semi circle your group had formed. The beat was dropping heavily, and Mingi was the first one to start dancing to it, strong steps, smooth body rolls and a lot of teasing. Yunho soon followed, twerking intensely while Mingi started to do the same. They were laughing too hard, and the rest of the boys seemed to be having a great time just watching. You walked up to the two boys, holding Mingi's left shoulder and Yunho's right one, starting to sway your hips to the intense beats. Soon you were twerking to it, and the boys playfully clapped, starting to drop to the music, soon coming up again and crowding you.

You couldn't help but laugh at the mess your group was. Yunho started twerking again, this time pulling you to do the same. When he started to go down again, you pointed accusingly at him while the rest of the boys cheered him and Mingi on.

"It's not fair!" you said, pouting. "This dress doesn't let me do that and you know it."

"Come on, noona," Mingi said, pulling you and trying to make you follow his moves. "Show him what you got!"

Laughing, you pushed him back and started to swirl your hips, gradually going down until your hands almost touched the floor. There, you ran your hands through your hair, pushing its length up while looking up at the boys, grinning. You did a 180 turn and got up, pushing your bottom back and throwing your hair to your left side, looking back at Mingi's and Yunho's faces as they cheered for you. As a final touch, you slapped your right hip playfully, winking at them.

"That's what I'm talking about!" Jongho said, laughing. "Now it's a party."

You pulled the youngest to the space Yunho and Mingi were occupying moments before, dancing happily with him while a hype song came on. He blushed a soft pink when you and Yeosang started to dance around him. It wasn't long before the rest of the group started doing the same, some holding cups, drinking and laughing at his reaction.

The nine of you seemed to dance forever before sitting down again, looking at the other few booths on the VIP section. You couldn't recognize anyone there, but you knew that they had money or were influential in a way. You always enjoyed going to that club with the boys, knowing you could trust the space and the staff not to say a thing about their visits. They always seemed more comfortable there, and that was more than enough reason for turning it into your meeting spot.

Mingi got up to order another round of cocktails for the table, as well as some appetizers. Some of the boys were starting to get tipsy, and looking adorable with pinkish cheeks and relaxed smiles. You weren't sure of much, especially during your time working abroad, but you were sure of one thing: you absolutely adored them. Just seeing them happy and loosening up was more than enough to get your mood better, already forgetting about the nasty day you had at work.

"I love you guys," you said, smiling.

"Are you getting drunk, noona?" Jongho said, laughing. The rest of the boys soon followed.

"Of course not! Don't forget I'm always the only sober one at the end of the night when we drink together!" you huffed, faking an annoyed look. "I just… Really miss you guys sometimes. You know I'm too soft for my own good."

"All jokes aside, we love you too. Now don't get all soft and mushy, we still have a long way to go tonight! It's not even 1am yet," Hongjoong laughed and hugged you, pulling you close on the sofa.

"I know, I know. Where's Mingi with the drinks anyway?"

"Someone missing me already?" Mingi said, sitting on your right side.

"More like missing the drinks you went to get."-everyone laughed at your answer, while Mingi fake pouted.-"What are your plans for the night, by the way?"

"What do you mean?" Yeosang asked.

"Well, you know my apartment is ready for you guys either way, but I can see some girls in other booths looking over every now and then. So, are you planning on meeting someone tonight or just chilling?"

"Noona!" Jongho said, mock scandalized. "We're not here for that."

"What? It doesn't hurt to ask! I just don't wanna be surprised like before, you know?" you said teasingly, looking at San. "When a certain someone met a girl at the bathroom line and disappeared for an hour while we were planning on heading out."

"You can't blame me!" San said.

"Never! But it's good to be prepared, so we don't end up asking the bouncers for help again."

"We're not leaving anyone behind tonight, we're just here to chill and celebrate," Hongjoong said.

"Alright, alright! Don't beat me for asking," you laughed, and everyone got quiet for a beat too long, using their glasses as a distraction.

"What about you?" Yunho said.

"What about me?" you asked, confused.

"What's your plan?"

"My plan is to have the best night ever with my boys, of course!" you laughed. "Why'd you ask? No one's ever flirted with me when I was with you, guys. I bet people think we're in a crazy, kinky relationship or something."-all the boys laughed at that, looking at the scandalized waiter that came with your drinks as you said that.-"Oh, god. I'm sorry!"

"You turned a few heads tonight, noona. Maybe you should open your eyes before saying no one'll flirt with you," Wooyoung said, smirking again.

"When? Where? Show me!" you joked. "It's been ages since I flirted, might as well get back in the game tonight."

"There's a guy on the booth to your left that's been looking at you since we danced," San added.

You looked around, finding a few guys sitting next to you. One of them caught your attention. He had black hair, a lip ring and a tattoo sleeve. He seemed to be really tall, considering he filled the sofa with his long legs, clad in skinny ripped and stained jeans. His large shirt was tucked into the front of his jeans, and the collar fell off his shoulder, revealing a bit of his chest tattoo. He seemed a bit older than you, around 25 years old, maybe.

He looked exciting. You were definitely interested. And as he returned your gaze, you could see that so was he.

"I think I'm in love," you half joked.

"Noona!" Jongho said, laughing and drinking a bit more, looking clearly tipsy.

"Woo, baby," you said, looking at him. "Won't you dance with me again, seriously this time?"

"Why him?" Yunho butted in.

"We all know that Woo has no limits, and neither do I," you laughed. "He won't mind playing around a bit to help me see if I can really catch that guy's attention."

"Noona," Wooyoung smirked, "of course I'll be your partner in crime. Just be careful not to change your target after it."

"You're too full of yourself sometimes," you said, smirking back. "I love it."

Wooyoung laughed and got up, offering you his hand while one of The Weeknd's hits started to play. You gladly took his hand, getting up slowly and turning towards the table, sending a smile to the guys one last time before heading close to the balcony with him - a great spot to put on a show for your crush for the night.

Maybe it was the alcohol rushing through your veins, or the thrill of having someone's attention, but you knew you were treading dangerous waters, with no life jacket, and were loving every tiny second of it. As you and Wooyoung started to get closer, you could feel heat rushing to your cheeks. At the same time, "Try Me" was being blasted through the club's speakers, fueling your resolution.

You weren't a great dancer compared to the group of performers, but you knew very well how to move your body to sensuous beats. And that's what you did. As Wooyoung took a step back, you started rocking towards him, moving your hips slowly, fitting the song as perfectly as you could while balancing on your huge heels - your pride and joy, being able to walk on them so gracefully.

He looked at you with a challenging gaze, a slow smirk showing on his handsome face. If you didn't value their friendship so much, you knew all of those boys would be huge trouble in your life. And since you and Wooyoung played this game more often than not, you knew that he and San would ruin your every resolution if you let them.

Once you got close enough to him, chest to chest, he started moving his hips in sync with yours. Slowly going down and coming back, coming too close to your face. So close you could feel his breath tickling your cheek. You smiled at him, whispering a "nice" in his ear. You then turned around, pressing your back to his front and placing his hands on your hips. You started moving again, slowly, feeling the beat rushing through you. He held your hips a bit tighter, closer.

You pushed back just a little bit, earning a hiss and a small laugh from him. Every movement he made seemed to fuel yours, becoming more and more certain, as if you were starting to lose yourselves to the music and it's sensual atmosphere. He moved one of his hands up your arms, a touch barely there, and held onto your shoulders, stopping the movement of his hips so he could mold himself into yours. You melted into the rhythm and kept dancing until the song ended.

"You're dangerous tonight," he said after you stopped dancing.

"So are you, Woo," you whispered back. "You shouldn't go around playing games you can't finish."

When he was about to answer, Yunho interrupted you two, leaning on the balcony.

"You seem keen on getting that guy's attention," he said, nonchalantly.

"Some attention is never bad," you answered, looking at him.

"He was paying attention, alright."-he stepped closer, while Wooyoung excused himself, saying he'd get another drink.-"Dance with me next."

"What? You think dancing with another guy is a good idea?"

"Well, if you only dance with Wooyoung, he'll think you're together."-you hit yourself on the forehead lightly, mouthing an "of course".

"I don't see why not. We're here to have fun, right?" you said, but a bit unsure.

"If attention is all you want, I can help you just fine."

"Alright! Let's do this," you said, rushing to the table to down another shot and running back in his direction.

On the corner of your eye, you could see the guy sitting there, looking at you as if trying to figure out what was going on. He was wearing a firing smirk, laid back on the sofa, curious about what you were going to do next. A surge of courage made you meet his gaze and smile softly at him. You turned back to Yunho, pulling him by the hands, and started dancing again.

Katie's "Remember" started playing, and before you could make a move, he started dancing around you, crowding your space in the best way possible. His moves were calculated, playing with you, teasing you. He started moving on his own, and you stood there, as if hypnotized by him. His eyes never left yours, and he looked like a man on a mission, starved and on his last chance to get his fill. He touched you every now and then, holding your hands, guiding them to his chest while he put his on your hips after. When he got close to your face, you held him by his shirt, pulling, a challenge written all over your face as the chorus came up.

You placed your legs around one of his, his thigh dangerously close to your sex, keeping one hand on his neck and another leading one of his to your hips. Then, you rested it on his shoulder, while his left hand hovered around your back, light touches every now and again. You started to sway your hips to the beat, small body waves connecting your chests while his breathing seemed to quicken. Yours soon followed, and for a second you even forgot what you were doing and why. Just then, you saw the mysterious guy searching for your eye. With more determination than before, you started grinding on Yunho, looking at the guy and smiling slowly. You could feel Yunho accepting every move you made, completing it with his own.

He held onto you, his hands fisting on the soft fabric of your dress, hinching the hem up a bit, showing more of your skin, only for him - since he had you almost pressed against the balcony, his huge figure covering yours. He ran one of his hands over your cheek, stopping on your neck and going to the back of your head, ready to pull you even closer, even if it felt impossible. He then turned you with that hand, passing your head under his arm and never letting go of you. As you were turning, you met eyes with the stranger again.

He started walking towards you as the song reached its end. Yunho was breathing heavily, his head resting on your shoulder and his hands still clinging you to him. That is, until your target interrupted you.

"Think you can save one of these dances for me?" he said, his voice husky and intoxicating. Yunho looked at you and then at the guy before turning and heading back to your booth, saying something to himself you couldn't quite understand.

"Depends on whether you're worth my time," you smirked at him, joking, feeling confident after dancing with your friends. "As you could see, I had very skilled partners before."

"I promise I'm more than worth your time," he said. "I'm Choi Seon, by the way. I'm 27."

"Seon… Nice to meet you," you said, relishing in how nice his name felt on your lips, although it felt like your voice had disappeared. "I'm 24."

"No name?" he laughed.

"Not just yet."-you smiled, glad he was older than you. You were tired of being called noona all night by your teasing friends.

"I'll just have to call you babe," he smirked.

"Let's dance, then, Seon?"

You didn't have to say it twice. He smiled down at you, seemingly even taller than Yunho, and pulled you in with strong, sure arms. You held onto his shoulders, starting to feel a little shy under his heated gaze. The reality of everything was starting to hit you, your confidence fading a bit. As if he could sense if, he started to move you along with him, pulling you back under his spell.

His hands traveled over your body, one pulling you even closer by your lower back while the other guided your hips, making you follow the movement of his own. You felt wild, carnal. As if you two were the only there, and everything that was left unsaid was too dangerous to be announced; prohibited thoughts rushing through your head as you let yourself go under his lead.

He spun you around, carefully touching your waist and passing his hand just under your cleavage. You were too far gone to care. You started moving with more confidence, pressing your back against him. He put your hair to your side, over your shoulder, and kissed the spot between your neck and your collarbone. You moved your head back, relishing in the feeling of his lips on your skin. You turned around again then, taking a small step back while tracing your hands from your hips, up to your waist and to the straps of your dress, finishing with a raise of your head, hands sliding through your hair, making you look just as far gone as you felt. He put his hands on your waist and pulled you close again, smiling and kissing the corner of your lips. You closed your eyes for a while, feeling the music and enjoying the trance you were in.

When you opened your eyes, you could see Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Mingi and Yunho looking directly at you. What rushed over you was hard to place. While you felt incredibly embarrassed, a part deep inside you was turned on by the erotic, forbidden feeling of everything. This was a new, dangerous sensation, and you didn't know how to deal with it. Seon, ever so observing, seemed to have read your confusing feelings, smirking at you knowingly. The song was ending, and you didn't know if you'd ask for another one or run away. Turns out you didn't have a chance to do either, as he tilted your head so you could look into his eyes and, ever so slowly, as if teasing you, kissed you.

You couldn't remember the last time you were kissed, especially like this. He kissed you like he was savoring you, and you just melted in his arms. When his lips parted from yours, they fell into another knowing smile.

"Was it worth your time?" he said and you breathed in, not sure how to respond. Your thoughts seemed to be scrambled, so you did what you wanted and kissed him again.

This was already the wildest night you lived in a very long time, if not ever. You were doing things you never thought you would, letting yourself pretend for a night that you're the confident woman that gets who she wants, when she wants. Not the shy, terrible at romance and everything else woman you usually were. Not the one who doesn't even remember the last time she had a date, much less caught a guy's attention long enough to be approached. Way before coming to South Korea, that's for sure. After your first - and only - relationship turned out to be a complete fail, you never tried anything again. Every connection you had with men after that was fully platonic.

With that idea in mind, you let him lead you to his booth, his friends gone to the dance floor on the first floor. You looked at your friends and they smiled, some even hollering, causing your cheeks to blush a dark pink. Seon just smiled down at you, pretending he didn't notice it so you wouldn't be even more embarrassed. You were definitely grateful for that.

While you sat, he tried to start a conversation with you. You looked around the space, as if in a daze, your ears filled by the sound of your heart beating erratically in your chest. You knew your breathing was uneven, and you looked a bit disheveled after dancing so close to him. As hard as you tried to concentrate on what he was saying, your emotions were betraying you, leaving you confused and unable to focus on whatever it was he asked you. His husky laugh was what brought you back to reality.

"I lost you for a while there, didn't I?" he asked, still laughing.

"I'm sorry!"-you blushed furiously, the effect of your actions on the dance floor wearing out-"I guess I'm a bit out of it. What was it you said again?"

"I asked if you'd like a drink."

"That would be great, actually."

"What were you having?" - he asked, looking at one of the bartenders.

"Just soju is fine! I like to keep it simple."-you laughed, finally mustering the courage to look him in the eyes again.

"Seeing that you came with so many men, I'd have to disagree with that."-his comment seemed to put you out, a confused looked crossing your face.-"I'm not judging, just curious."

"We're friends, that's all..." you trailed off. "They've been working too hard for the past months, so we're celebrating a few birthdays today."

"You seem pretty close."

"They're basically my only friends here." you whispered, smiling softly.

"Have you been living here for long?"

"For almost two years, now. It's quite different from home, that's for sure."-he laughed at that, and you soon followed.

"It may be. From the way you dance… It looks like you're from a 'freer', 'looser' place."

"I see..." you said, taking a sip of your drink and trying to think of a way to keep the conversation flowing that didn't include not-so-charming comments on your origins. "I'm terrible at this, oh my god!"

"At what?" he laughed, confused.

"I can't believe I said this out loud. Okay," you said, blushing. "It's just been a long time since I've done anything like… this"-you motioned between you.

"You're cute," he smiled. "You're blushing and nervous around me, even though you kissed me and danced with me like you wanted to tear my clothes off."-he ran his hand over your arm, up to your shoulder, sending goosebumps across your skin.-"And your cheeks are burning, but you're still looking at me like you can't wait to kiss me again."

"You're cracking your head trying to read me, now?" you joked.

"You're interesting to me, that's all. Maybe we should dance more to see if you can get more comfortable."

"I don't think dancing will have that effect on me right now."

He laughed and you smiled back at him. You took the time to look over to your booth, seeing the boys deep in conversation, still drinking happily. Some looked your way every once in a while, and you started to feel a little guilty for ditching them on your first time together in months.

"Don't you wanna sit with us?" you asked Seon, looking at him expectantly. "I don't wanna spend the rest of the evening away from my friends."

"Do you think they'll be okay with it?" he asked you back, looking over to your tables.

"Of course! They're super chill,"-you smiled-"you'll see. Let's go!"

You got up and pulled Seon by his hand, walking towards your booth. All the boys stopped talking and looked up at you, perhaps wondering why you were bringing him over. Hongjoong motioned for Yeosang and Yunho to scoot over, giving you and Seon space to sit as you arrived at the table.

"Thanks, guys," you smiled down at them, sitting beside Hongjoong while Seon sat to your right. "This is Choi Seon!"

"Hi, there. Nice to meet you all."

The group nodded at him, introducing themselves one at a time.

"You seem familiar," Seon said, and you exchanged looks.

"We're no one important," San smiled.

"You're really good dancers," Seon added.

"We had a good partner," Wooyoung said, smiling at you.

"Tell me about it. I saw from up close how hard it is to keep up with her."

"Oh, please. I'm far from that," you laughed at them. "The boys are the professionally trained ones, I just used whatever advantage I had to measure up."

"You surely have lots of those," Seon smirked, running his hand over your knee and up to the hem of your dress. You slapped his hand playfully. "Do you come here often?"

"Not really," you replied. "We come here when we can, which isn't as often as I'd like."

"We're always working, so it's hard to get time out of our schedules," Mingi completed.

"I know how that feels," Seon nodded. "But I always try to come here with the guys. It's a great spot."

"We like it a lot too," you smiled at him. "I'll order us some more drinks. Four bottles of soju are okay, right?"

"Seems like a good number to keep this going," Yeosang laughed, his cheeks colored from the amount of alcohol he had already drank.

Once you got the bottles on the table, you poured shots to everyone, some mixing theirs with beer, and took yours. Seon poured you another one, and you happily drank it too, feeling the heat from the alcohol keeping you in the perfect space between sober and drunk. You could tell some of the boys were already crossing that bridge, and were glad to see them having fun.

From there on, conversation seemed to flow easily between you two, occasionally including one or two of the boys in your discussions. Seon's friends came back up and sat on their own booth, acknowledging him and your table while passing.

"I'll go talk to the guys for a bit and come back, okay?" Seon said, lips close to your ear to make sure you could hear him well enough.

"Okay, I'll be here," you smiled at him, and he took the opportunity to kiss the corner of your lips again.

Once he left, all the boys turned no-so-subtly at you.

"So, noona..." San said. "Are you going to be the one to ditch the group today? How the tables have turned!"

"Oh come on! It's not like I'll leave you guys alone!" you laughed, looking around the space.

"Not now, anyway. But by the way he's looking at you, you'll probably be leaving together real soon," Mingi chimed in, looking at Seon as he said something to his friends and laughed.

"Are you going to leave with him?" Yunho asked, looking a bit startled by the possibility.

"Guys! Stop! It's not like that..." you trailed off. "I think? Or is it? God, I definitely need to get better at this. It's been too long since I even thought about doing this."

"We're still going back to yours, right?" Hongjoong asked, looking worried.

"Of course! I'd never leave you hanging. The worst that could happen would be me giving you my keys and everything. My apartment is basically yours now, anyway."

"You can't do that!" Jongho said. "Are you seriously considering ditching?"

"I thought we would hang after, watch movies and talk, or something," Seonghwa added. "You know, continue the celebration through the weekend, like we said before."

"I don't know..."-you looked back over Seon's booth.-"Would I be a terrible person if I did it?"

"Basically." Yunho said, matter of factly.

"No!" Wooyoung said at the same time.

"Seriously, though… I'd still be back in the morning, right? We could do all that tomorrow. I'll cook you lunch like I promised."

"It wouldn't be the same..." Jongho trailed off.

"You know we can't just go back to your building and whatever," Yunho continued. "Besides, you don't even know the guy! You know what? His name?"

"I'm not looking to do a background check on him! I know enough for this," you answered.

"For this as in…?" Yeosang looked at you, trying to see if you'd finish your trail of thought.

"You know! Hooking up? I don't know how you kids call it these days," you joked, trying to lighten the mood. "I've never done this before, I don't exactly know how it works. You tell me."

"He looks like he'd drop you like nothing once he got what he wants," Seonghwa said, looking concerned. "Doesn't that bother you? Even a little?"

"So what? That's what I'd want too! You do this all the time. What's wrong with me doing it too?"

"Are you seriously this stupid?" Yunho yelled at you.

"Hyung!" Jongho called after Yunho, a look of shock crossing his face and everyone else's. "He didn't mean that."

"I guess he meant naive, noona," Yeosang said, trying to fix the situation.

"No, I meant exactly what I said, and I know you're all thinking it too," Yunho said, looking directly at you.

You were fuming by now. After drinking you knew your filter wouldn't exactly work, and you could feel the words rising up and leaving your mouth before you could think of stopping.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean, huh?" you pointed at Yunho, who stared back at you with just as much anger. "You think I'm some stupid little girl, now? You think I can't handle myself? Fuck off, will ya? I can judge character just fine, and if I want to go over to his and do whatever the fuck else, you best believe I will!"

"So you're going?" Wooyoung asked, looking between you and Yunho.

"He didn't even fucking ask me yet! What's got you so angry anyway?"

"You were the one who kept babbling about this being a night for us to be all together!" Yunho answered and the boys shook their heads, agreeing with the fact, but probably not with the approach.

"I know! And it still is-"

"You were the one who kept complaining about how we were away for too long," he kept going, interrupting you. "And you were the one who even had the idea of us going over yours for the weekend."

"There's no need to get angry at me over this! I didn't even do anything yet."

"That's right, yet."-he took a deep breath, failing to stop himself from continuing.-"So what? You'll give us your keys and leave us here alone while you go to who knows where with a random guy?"

"Yunho, you should watch your tone if you don't want me to leave your fucking asses on the street," you said, looking stern and pissed off. How could he turn on you like this?

"Isn't that your intention now?"-Yunho looked like he had no intention of backing out of this argument.

"You're being so fucking childish right now. You want me to leave?"-you were practically fuming, your breathing erratic, blood pumping through your veins and wearing off the effect of your previous drinks.

"Might as well. Already got what you wanted anyway," he said, nonchalantly. You'd almost believe he didn't care if it wasn't for how hard he was staring you down.

"I hope you're stupidly drunk right now, I really do. Because this ridiculous behaviour is inexcusable."

"Noona, calm down," Seonghwa said, looking around as if he expected the guys to help him, but they remained stunned into silence.

"Me? You're telling me to calm down?" you practically screamed at him, feeling put off by how none of them even tried to defend you or intervene when Yunho was the one saying things he shouldn't. "Yunho is literally here being a slut-shaming piece of-"

"Stop!" Hongjoong exclaimed, looking around the table. Everyone returned his gaze, trying their hardest to not return yours.

"You know what? I really didn't need this tonight," you sighed, defeated. "I was so excited to go out with you guys again. I really, really missed you all a lot and-"

"Doesn't seem like it." Yunho said, almost to himself, but you certainly heard it, like he was saying it right to your face. A slap would've hurt less.

"I'm fucking tired, okay? I'm not gonna do this," you said, staring into his eyes in hopes he'd see how much he hurt you. By the way he flinched slightly, you knew he noticed it. "I had a shitty day, and I don't have to deal with this right now."

Everyone was silent, looking at you and not knowing exactly what to say. You couldn't believe how such a perfect night was ending so badly.

"I'm gonna go," you whispered. "I'm just gonna leave. You guys stay. I don't wanna be around some of you right now."

"Noona," Mingi said, reaching out to you.

"Don't you dare 'noona' me."-you pushed your arm back, already putting on your jacket and getting ready to leave.-"I'll talk to your fucking manager later, he'll figure this out for you."

You grabbed your clutch, spilling a half-drank cup of beer that was next to it on the table. You fought the urge to apologize, feeling all of your energy seep away while you took one last look at them. You didn't have anything else to say, and they seemed to feel the same way; Yunho didn't even look at you until you spoke again.

"Enjoy the rest of your night."

You didn't even bother saying goodbye to Seon. Whatever was going on between you two was over the moment the discussion started. It felt like someone had thrown a bucket of ice on you, and even so, you felt extremely hot from all the pent up anger.

You knew they were looking at your retracting figure, your steps heavy as you climbed down the stairs. The bouncer let you out of the VIP area, and you sighed a small "thank you", never stopping your steps. You felt you'd try to go back if you stopped, and your pride was more important to you at that moment. You wouldn't back down. You did nothing wrong.

Still fuming and needing to cool down, you decided to walk back home, the cold night breeze very welcomed. It hit your face, moving your hair slightly. The street was still buzzing with people, some going from one bar to the other, some conversing and drinking with friends. That's how you expected your night to go, you thought, walking faster to get away from the bright city lights.

The 20-minute walk did you good, your mood getting better after you stopped duelling on it. You were completely sober by the time you reached your building, missing the comfortable buzz you had throughout the night. As you opened your door, shoes in hand, you decided to have a glass or two of wine before going to bed. You were too nervous still to just sleep, and wine always helped you relax.

You took off your jacket, hanging it neatly on your closet, and left your purse and choker in your room, phone in hand. Going straight to the kitchen next, you frowned at the state of your living room, deciding to get the bottle of wine before stressing over the messy space, already half prepared to receive your big number of guests. You took a bag of chips from the cabinet, heading to your sofa to lie down and watch some TV.

Feeling slightly uncomfortable and stuffed in the tight dress, you opened the zipper, almost fully, making sure to turn the aircon on next. Wine glass in one hand, TV remote in the other, you browsed the Netflix catalogue, searching for a foolish movie to watch - preferably one you'd seen before, since you were sure you'd just end up using it as background noise. Not finding anything worth binge-ing, you checked your phone, absentmindedly. A part of you wished one of the boys texted you, the other wanting to do it; to at least let them know you got home fine and wish them a safe ride back to theirs.

You knew you were being petty. You also knew you weren't exactly wrong, and you fought against your pride again, thinking it'd been 40 minutes since you left them alone. Would they be able to go back home? You knew their crazy fans were still camping outside their place.

"I can still tell them to come and just stay on my own in another room or something," you said to yourself. "I don't want them to get into trouble because of me."

With your mind made up, you unlocked your phone, ready to text them that they could come over if they'd like. Still, you started typing and stopped, repeating this countless times. Nothing sounded right to you. You didn't want to be cold, but also couldn't just act like nothing happened.

"I'm definitely overthinking this."

You poured yourself another glass of the white wine, the bottle getting closer to its end way earlier than you intended. The cold liquid was working wonders in their task of calming you down. You thought best to change and remove your makeup before doing anything else, maybe looking for distractions before talking to them. You knew they'd probably still be at the club, trying to figure out how to get home or what to do to not be seen. If you knew Hongjoong well - which you did - you knew he was probably contacting a manager as you drank, and it served enough to make you feel guilty once again for leaving. You felt like crying.

Determined to be the bigger person and try to save whatever was left of the night, you took your phone again and started typing. Before you could finish the message, someone rang your doorbell. Mildly distracted, you didn't pay attention to the sound. That was, until someone started pounding at your door.

"Guys?" you asked, putting your now empty glass on the table and walking towards the door. "Who's there?"

You opened the door slowly, finding a rugged looking Yunho leaning against the frame, right hand moving to knock again.

"Yunho!" you gasped, looking him over before meeting his eye. "Where are the guys? I was just about to text you all to come over!"

He looked at you, breathing heavily, not uttering a single word. You waited for him to say something, but he remained there, leaning on the door frame, staring you down.

"It was so stupid, baby. The fight was so, so stupid," you said, starting to feel nervous again. "I don't wanna fight with any of you. You owe me an apology, but god we should've never let such a stupid argument ruin our night."-he entered the apartment, taking off his shoes as you kept talking, afraid to fall into heavy silence again.-"I wouldn't have done anything with Seon, you know? It just… felt nice. To be noticed, I mean. It felt nice to be wanted."

He started moving towards you, taking slow, small strides as you kept talking, moving to close the door.

"Yunho, please… talk to me," you begged, trying to get him to say something, anything. "Just say 'sorry'. That's all I need."

He looked strong, present, in the dim light of the living room. The small rays coming from the kitchen and the TV cast perfect shadows on his face. As he got closer, you lost track of whatever you were saying. Your mind was running a million miles per hour, wondering where the rest of the boys were, what he intended to do, and why he was looking at you like he'd want nothing more than you to stop talking.

You locked the door, using the excuse to stop staring into his intense eyes. You could feel him close to your back, his breath making your hair move slightly. Before you could ask him what he was doing so close, he placed a hand on your left shoulder, turning you towards him and pressing you against the wall, his face perfectly contrasted by the lights. He looked like sin incarnated, and you felt trapped under his spell. You tried to form words, but all you could do was gape at him, your breaths coming out a little faster every second he spent close like this.

He came closer, his right hand supporting his weight while his left took your hair off your shoulders, his face coming down to meet yours. You never felt so small close to him. His lips ghosted against your cheek, moving to your right ear. Then, he took his hand off the wall and touched your face gently, moving to touch your neck, reaching the back of your neck and entangling in your hair. He kissed the space between your ear and neck, lips grazing your ear as he finally spoke.

"Noona," he breathed the word against you, sighing at the end of it.

This word had never hit you as hard as it did. His voice, everything, made it sound like the most sinful word in your vocabulary.

He sounded like he was in pain. His whole body started trembling slightly, pressing harder against you. You gasped at the raspy sound of his voice, and he moved his head back to look at you. His eyes were heavy lidded, breathing even faster now. Yours seemed to match his, and that second lasted like an eternity.

Yunho kissed you. His lips barely touching yours, as if he was scared you'd push him back once he did it. When he saw you wouldn't, he came back down for another kiss. This time, he kissed you fiercely, with such force, as if you were water and he had spent days in a desert. Your lips pressed against his, kissing him back with just as much want, if not more.

He tugged at your hair, pulling it back to tilt your head, making his access to your lips easier. You gasped, almost moaning at the sensation, your lips parting slightly. He took advantage of that, his tongue snaking into your mouth, ready to explore you. The action seemed to pull you back to reality, and you held him hard on the shoulders, whining as if you were reluctantly having to let him go. You pushed him back softly, also scared to break the moment. He grunted, as if the act hurt him physically. His hips were pressing yours against the wall, and you moved yours automatically.

"Noona," he whispered again.

"Yunho..." you sighed and pushed him once more, needing space to be able to think. "Wh- What are you doing?"

"I..." he trailed off, taking a deep breath. "Noona, please."

"Tell me what you need," you said, trying to forget about every complication this could entail. All you could think about, all you could see, was him. And, for god, was he glorious. "Talk to me, baby."

"You," he whispered against your lips, your eyes focused on his own.

"Oh my god," you sighed, moving your head to the side.

He gave you space, although not much, afraid you'd run away once he got far enough. You looked at him, then back at the living room, trying to understand what was going on. He glanced back, seeing the wine bottle. He moved to it, taking a sip directly from it.

You were frozen into place, and he took advantage of that, bringing the almost empty bottle to you and pressing it against your lips. You drank it gladly, fueled by how he stared at your lips against the rim of it. The simple gesture never seemed so erotic.

After you finished the wine, he placed the bottle on the ground and pressed against you again. When you shied away from his gaze, he touched your chin, lifting his head to make sure you could see him as well as he could see you. He smirked at you, chest heaving, and turned you around. He grunted loudly, resting his head on your shoulder as his right hand, still cold from holding the bottle, touched your semi-open zipper.

"God, noona," he said against your skin, tickling your neck. "What were you doing before I got here."

"I..." you tried and failed to form a sentence, your face pressed against the wall, your hip moving on its own only to be held by his left hand, leaving you completely at his mercy. "I was going to change, that's all."

You moved your hands to your back, closing the zipper rapidly as a blush started creeping on your cheeks. He chuckled at that, right hand forcing yours against the wall, lips kissing your cheek. He kissed down to your shoulders, lips running over your cherry blossom tattoo - his favorite.

"There's no need to close it, noona," he whispered, sensuously. "It'll end up on the floor anyway."

"Fuck, Yunho."

"Don't," he said, breathing in slowly. "Don't say my name like that."

"Or what?" you asked, holding on to the last shreds of your sanity. "Yunho."

He pressed his hips against yours, breathing in the scent of your perfume. You gasped at the sensation, starting to lose yourself to the forbidden, dangerous situation. A small whimper left your lips, and he pressed even harder against you, right hand coming up to hold you by the hair once more, turning you around slowly as his eyes fell to your cleavage.

Yunho kissed your exposed skin, climbing from your chest to your neck. He sucked hardly, making sure to mark you as his. You hissed, right hand grabbing his hips hard as you moved yours against his, losing yourself to the sensation of his lips on your skin. He blew cold air to the place he sucked on, biting it and climbing up to your lips.

This kiss felt like the final straw. You pulled him by his shirt, closer. You wanted him as close as humanly possible. No, you needed him as close as possible. You kissed him hard, your lips taking over his, guiding him. Your hands pushed his jacket back, and he let go of you briefly, just enough to let the item fall, discarded, to the floor. You ran your hands through his hair, and he took the opportunity to pull on yours once more, holding the back of your neck just tight enough to make you moan against his lips again. He pulled your right leg up, moving harder against you.

He pressed his hips hardly against yours, and you could feel him harden, moving like he couldn't wait a second more to have you. You felt that, if you let him, he would take you right there. Hard and rough against your living room wall. Close enough to the door that you'd need to be quiet in order to not let your neighbors overhear. Just the thought of him doing so was enough to get you wet, your thighs pressing close, needing the friction.

You stopped the kiss, whispering his name as sweetly as you could, pushing him back just so you could pull him by the hand, moving towards your couch. You pushed him on it, waiting for him to settle, sitting, before climbing on his lap.

"Noona," he whispered. "What are you doing to me?"

"I could ask you the same thing," you said, smirking against his lips before kissing him again.

You placed your legs around his hips, your dress riding up your thigh, exposing your underwear. He stopped kissing you to look down, taking in the image of you completely gone over his lap, grinding down on him slowly, teasing the both of you. His hands pulled your dress higher, moving to your waist and squeezing you hard. You moaned, grinding hard on him as you went for another kiss. It felt like you spent ages just kissing, touching each other as well as you could, pressing him on the sofa as you did so.

You forced your hips down, feeling his erection against your core. It felt so crude, so raw, and oh, so big, you couldn't help but moan his name once more. He moved his hips up to meet yours, hands ripping your tights hardly as you fisted his shirt, annoyed at how the fabric was standing between you two. The sound of them ripping filled the room, your breath quickening at the action.

"Take this off," you said, commandly. "Now."

You didn't need to say it once more. He pushed you back, just enough to have space to pull the fabric off, slowly revealing his chest. You looked at him like you were starved, and he returned the gaze. His chest was glistening with sweat, and you had never seen something so beautiful. Yunho panting, looking at you, shirtless, was the sexiest scene you ever had the pleasure to witness.

"I can't wait anymore," you said, almost to yourself, as you stood up.

You pushed him back as he tried to follow, fixing your dress once again. He looked at you, confused, but his expression soon turned to one of pleasure, as you ran your hands up his thighs, getting closer and closer to his erection. You smirked at him, teasingly, and pulled him up by the belt, guiding him to your room. You were never so thankful for having a king sized bed.

He looked at you expectantly, seemingly enjoying this game of dominance you two were playing. You pushed him back on your bed, sitting on the edge of it. He tried to kiss you again, but you cut the kiss short, pushing on his chest as you started to go down on his body. He sucked in a breath just at the thought of what you were going to do.

"Noona, you have no idea of how many times I dreamed of your lips on me," he confessed, hand ruining his hair even more.

"I hope I measure up," you smirked at him, hands sliding against his legs once more. "I've dreamt about this too. Way too much."

Your hands passed over his body, coming to his pants and slowly opening the button. You climbed against his body, kissing his chest and going down, grabbing the zipper between your teeth. You looked up at him, seeing the anticipation and lust in his eyes. They made you want to do so much more, and you relished on the feeling, bringing the zipper down as painfully slow as you could. As soon as your teeth grazed his erection, he pushed his hips up, hissing. He laid back on his elbows, eyes staring at you, consuming your every move.

You finally pulled his pants down, the sight of his erection straining against his underwear more than enough to get your mouth watering. You knew there was no turning back; might as well enjoy it to the fullest. You kissed his hips, sucking softly on his skin, feeling his hands coming to touch you, before moving to his hair once more. You kissed him through the fabric and he held his breath, closing his eyes and tossing his head back.

Pulling his underwear down, you stared him in the eye, turned on by his blown out pupils. You were more than glad to see he was just as far gone as you were. There was something empowering about seeing him completely naked while you were still clothed, and you intended on taking advantage of that feeling.

"You look so beautiful," he whispered, almost to himself.

"Not as much as you," you answered, smiling. "You're a work of art."

You passed your hands up his thighs again, kissing him everywhere but where he needed you the most. His chest was heaving, his breathing shallow, eyes anticipating your every move. It was intoxicating, seeing him losing his cool over your small actions. You wrapped your hand around his erection, turned on by the curses coming out of his mouth.

Ever so slowly, you moved your lips next to his shaft, kissing his skin while moving your hand. His hand held onto your hair, pulling just enough to get you to lose it. You kissed his tip, lips enveloping him as you took your time savoring him, going down slowly until he was fully inside your mouth. The sound he let out then was wild, carnal, and you moaned against him.

He pushed his hips up slightly, as if begging you to do something, anything. You couldn't help but comply, lips going up and down on him, pace quickening. He kept moving his hips and pulling your hair, trying to meet your movements with his own.

"Fuck, noona," he cried out. "You're ruining me."

You kept going, boosted by the noises he was making, deep throating him as you felt his whole body tense under your ministrations. He was panting, desperate, and you didn't stop until you felt he was on the edge, lips popping off him; a string of saliva still connecting your bodies.

"That's my intention."

He pulled you up by the back of your neck, hands trying to touch you everywhere at once. He kissed you hard. Pressing against you, standing up once more, he ran his right hand over your back, opening your dress again. This time, he kissed your shoulders while lowering the straps, hands pushing the fabric down until you were standing in front of him wearing nothing but ruined tights and red lace panties.

Spinning you around, he could see just how small the piece was, your ass on full display for him. Just for him. He called your name at that, the first time he mentioned it the whole night. Somehow, you missed how sinful the word "noona" sounded coming out of his lips. You were almost embarrassed by how the thought of it got you even more turned on; your body betraying you as another rush of arousal left you on edge.

"Ca- call me..." you whispered. "Noona. Just that."

"I knew you liked it," he smirked, you could feel it against your back. "Noona."

He spun you around again, this time pushing you against the bed.

"You look good enough to eat, noona."

He ripped the tights even more, want taking over him. He kissed you again, pulling you by the neck close to him. You ran your hand over his back, nails scraping his skin, making him hiss against your lips. He kissed you even harder, right hand grabbing your waist and holding it hard enough to bruise. His left hand guided your hips against his erection while he pressed it to your core. You moaned his name, desire clouding your mind as you called him once more.

"Yunho, please," you pleaded, hoping he'd put an end to your suffering. "I can't take this anymore."

He got on his knees, looking directly at your core as you blushed, trying to close your legs and hide from him.

"Don't. You don't need to hide from me, noona," he said, looking into your eyes before letting his roam over your body once more. "You're too fucking beautiful."

"Yunho..." you moaned his name.

"I want to remember every moment tomorrow, noona," he kissed your stomach, looking shy. "I hope you do too."

Before you could respond, he ran his hand over your panties, teasing your clothed core. You started writhing, every nerve ending sensitive thanks to his previous actions. You felt like you couldn't take it anymore, his teasing only making you need him more. You started begging, unashamed, for him to really touch you, for him to do anything.

He started kissing down your body, going from your jaw to your collarbone; marking you. His lips hovered over one of your nipples and you lost your breath, right hand sinking into his hair as you moaned. He kissed it slowly, repeating the action on the other one. He started moving his tongue around it, blowing cold air every now and then. The other wasn't left unattended, being toyed with when he ran his hand over your chest; fingers pressing on it. You were writhing beneath him, unable to form a coherent sentence as he ravaged your body.

Once he saw you were losing control, he let go of your nipples, giving each a small peck before kissing down your stomach, stopping at your navel. You hissed, whispering his name as he looked up at you, smirking. He moved to your waist, kissing each side before falling to your hips, repeating the sucking motion you'd done on his moments before. His teeth scraped against whatever was left of your fishnets and you fisted the sheets, closing your eyes, chest heaving. He pulled at the strings, relishing in your instant reactions. He was eating up every movement, every noise, every whimper; everything you gave him.

His hands were touching your stomach and coming down to your thighs, his light touch heighting his teasing. Using both hands, he ripped the top of your tights so he could take off your panties. He pushed back down a bit more, discarding the ruined underwear, face coming close to your core. He breathed against your now naked area, and that action alone had you seeing stars. He then kissed the area slowly, tentatively tasting you. The sound you made was wild; a perfect description of how you felt once his lips connected to your body.

He started to move his tongue in circles, falling into a slow rhythm that had you begging him for more. Showing you that he heard you loud and clear, he started moving his right hand towards your centre, his left one trying to stop your hips from grinding against him. Once you finally managed to stop moving, he awarded you with faster movements, his hand already teasing your entrance. He inserted one finger into you, moving it temptatively while his tongue continued its assault.

The difference between his actions got you close to your climax in no time, and you couldn't take it anymore. You pulled him up, receiving a puzzled look - like he could tell you were almost there and was annoyed to have to stop. You squeezed his shoulders, pulling him closer and kissing him hard, pushing your hips up against his. You couldn't breathe, couldn't see anything. All you could think about was having him inside you.

"Yunho, please. I really can't take it anymore. Please, fuck me."-you pressed your hips against his once more, desperate for some kind of friction.

He pressed down on you harder, loving the sensation of your naked bodies meeting. His movements were excruciatingly slow, and you could feel him shaking against you, keen on teasing you even though he wanted you just as much. You could do nothing but follow his hands with your eyes, heart beating so fast you could barely hear him; the beats louder than the music back at the club.

As soon as you thought about the place, you whimpered. The memory of his hands running over your body, hips moving together to the beat of a sensuous song; "Dirty Dancing" a kids' show close to what you were doing. You didn't realize it then, but you could definitely feel now just how bad he wanted you, and how bad you wanted to succumb to your darkest desires. For months now you fought against your desire for him, and he seemed to have done the same. Letting go; it felt as freeing as freedom could possibly be.

"Noona," he said, forcing you to open your eyes; you hadn't even realized you closed them. "Look at me."

He looked down at you, almost naked - the last shreds of your tights still clinging to your skin - and smiled. His hands ran from your legs up to your chest, finally getting to your face. He touched your cheek softly, encouragingly, and you couldn't help but smile back at him. Just then, he started to look around, a question hanging on his face.

"I don't have any condoms," he said, pouting cutely - a big change from his previous dominant demeanor.

"Me neither," you added, although smiling. "But we don't need them."

He stared at you then, confused but intrigued.

"I'm on the pill, and I'm clean," you smiled at him. "What about you?"

"I'm… I'm clean too, noona," he sounded dumbfounded. "Are you sure about this?"

"There's no one I trust more, Yunho," you said, pressing your hips against his again. "I want you."

"Fuck, you're too perfect, noona."

He positioned himself, shaft touching your core lightly. He seemed lost in thought, so you swirled your hips again, hoping to bring back his dirty, needy expression. His right hand pressed your hips down on the bed, chest coming down to meet yours as he kissed you again, hungrily. You kissed him back, both hands behind his neck as you lost yourself to the sensation of his lips against his.

Before you could tell, he pushed inside you, to the hilt. You moaned at the sensation, hips moving again, as if they had a mind of their own. He didn't move, though. He just looked at you, trying to get used to the sensation of being inside you, revelling in your desperate movements and cries. You never looked so beautiful to him.

"Please move," you begged him. "I'm going crazy."

He started moving then, slow, sensuous thrusts hitting you, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. You clinged to him for dear life, every thought scaping you the moment he picked up his pace.

He kissed you again; a messy kiss, tongues trying to meet as he started to go even harder, every movement more precise than the one before. You could do nothing more than moan his name, the feeling of him filling you too good to put into words. He fit you perfectly, his expert hips only heightening the sensation. You melted against him, your hips trying desperately to match his movements as he pushed you closer and closer to the edge.

As if he could feel you were getting closer, he slowed down, hands pulling your hair once again as he bit your bottom lip and moaned.

"Noona," he groaned, trying to hold back.

"God, Yunho," you moaned against him. "Don't stop, please."

You wrapped your legs around his hips, feet pushing him to grind on you harder. You ran one hand over his ass, trying to touch him as much as you could, squeezing the flesh. His hands were now holding tight to your hips, so tight that you could feel bruises blossoming on your pale skin. But you didn't care. In fact, it only made you want him more, feelings and movements getting more and more frenetic.

You were getting off on the sensation of him inside you, as well as the thoughts of how many other positions you were hoping to try out with him. His dirty talking was making you lose control of your body, his gaze so erotic you fell like you could come from just looking at it. You had never felt this way before, so overcome with need, and it felt as painful as exhilarating.

He pushed your left leg back, getting even deeper than before. You cried out his name, closing your eyes with force, feeling your climax coming once again. He kept his pace this time, angling his hips to hit your spot again and again. You were already seeing stars, saying sentences that made no sense as you called out after him once more.

"Yunho," you gasped. "Oh my god."

Your high was powerful and numbing. You couldn't focus on nothing other than his grunts, telling you he was close too. You fought the overstimulation, moving your hips to meet his as you asked him to finish inside you. It seemed to be enough to push him off the edge, and soon he was biting your shoulders, coming undone.

He reluctantly got off of you, laying beside you and pulling you close. You were still shaking from the aftermath, and he kissed you tenderly on the temple before nuzzling into your hair. This sweet behaviour was a strong contrast to his actions, and as soon as doubts started to creep over you, his lips made sure to shut them down.

You kissed him back, slowly, trying to figure out how to voice your thoughts. He pulled back slightly, smiling against your cheek as he laid a small kiss there, then turning your face up to look at him. He passed his right hand through his hair, suddenly nervous. His left hand kept drawing small circles on your left shoulder, matching the movements of yours against his chest.

"I'm sorry, noona," he whispered, sounding small.

"It's okay, baby," you smiled. "We're okay."

"I just..." he trailed off, as if lost in thought, a small smile creeping once more. "I don't know how it all escalated so quickly."

"Jealousy doesn't fit your image," you joked, snuggling against him. "That's for sure."

"God, I was such an asshole,"-he held you tighter. "I don't even know why."

"Yeah, you were," you laughed. "But we're good now."

"Really?"

"I mean, you're lying naked on my bed at god-knows-what hours. You tell me!"

"I'd say we're great, then."

He looked down at your entangled bodies, eyes changing once more as he focused on your breathing. Leaning down to kiss you again, he used his right hand to lift your body, still on his side, just a little bit. Enough to kiss you more fiercely, needy. You pulled back, smiling, before kissing his jaw, cheek, and then his lips once more.

He ran his right hand over your side, soft touches between your hips and waist. You whined softly against his lips, the sound escaping before you could stop. He looked at you, desire returning to his eyes as he started kissing your jaw. His switched between kissing and biting your sensitive skin, your right hand grabbing his hair hard as your body started to react to his actions. Then, he pressed his hips on yours, his erection standing firm between your bodies as you gasped.

"Already?" you asked, making him press harder. "You're spoiling me."

"I can't help it," he laughed, nibbling your skin once again. "You're so hot, noona."

He sucked harshly on your collarbone, a purple mark already starting to show as he blew against the spot and kissed it. You pulled his head towards yours, kissing him like your life depended on it. At the heat of the moment, it really felt like it did. The feeling of how well his body reacted to yours spurting you on as you succumbed to want.

He started to turn to get on top of you, kissing you harder by the second. You pressed your left hand firmly on his chest, not letting him do so. He looked at you, confused, before you pulled him to you and kissed him again, tongues fighting for dominance. This time, he let you win, and you explored his mouth lazely, trying to control your pace.

As he tried once more to get on top of you, you pressed him hard against the bed, left leg moving over to straddle him without interrupting the kiss. As soon as you settled on the new position, his erection pressing against your inner thigh, you rolled your hips.

"Fuck," he cried out, hands holding onto your waist. "Do that again."

Once he saw you didn't move, nor would reply, he tried to roll his hips up to meet yours.

"Please, noona," he begged. "Please just-"

Before he could finish his sentence, you rolled your hips again, harder this time. He hissed loudly, throwing his head back as his chest lifted from the bed. His hips started to move up, meeting yours as you kept grinding down on him. You smiled at how fucked up he looked, knowing that any remaining effects of your previous drinks were far gone; you were doing this to him.

The realization hit you fast, and you moaned as you ceased your movements, hands balancing your weight on his chest. He looked at you, desperate, and you kissed him hard. His hands moved to your ass, squeezing the flesh as he tried to make you start moving your hips again. Your right hand started caressing his skin, tracing his collarbone and going lower, lower, until you reached his shaft. It felt warm and heavy on your hand, and you held it tightly, earning a string of curses from the younger boy. You teased him, kissing him hungrily.

When you felt his chest moving hard, breaths getting erratic, you stopped kissing him and, ever so slowly, sank down on him. You didn't move until you felt he was fully inside you, finally opening your eyes to see that his were glued to where your bodies met. You temptatively moved against him, hips rolling as you got used to his length in this new position.

He gripped your hips hard, not knowing if he wanted to make you move faster or to stop them completely. All you knew was that he looked ruined, and you loved it. The power you felt of being able to make him feel this way was enough to get you to start moving a little faster, hips sensuously rolling against his.

"Noona," he moaned. "I'm not gonna last if you keep going like this."

"Me neither," you confessed, grinding faster.

He started to lift his hips to meet yours, getting deeper inside you. You moaned his name, never stopping your rolling motion as you got lost in the sensation, in how good he felt like this. The sounds of him fucking into you were lewd and intoxicating, taking over your small bedroom. He held you even tighter, your nails raking against his chest and lips biting on his neck as you fell on top of him, body unable to keep going and giving in to pleasure.

He started to move faster, harder, searching for his release too. You squeezed him involuntarily, the motion enough to have him screaming for you as he climaxed, hands slowly rubbing your sore hips and thighs. You stood on top of him until your breathings got even, the glint of sweat making him look even more beautiful to you as you pushed from his chest.

You excused yourself, legs feeling like jelly as you tried to go to the bathroom to get cleaned up. The simple action took you a lot longer than normal, your body still coming down from the intense sex you'd just had.

Laying down on the bed again, he pulled you closer, not wanting to let go of you. You kissed his chest as he ran his hand on your hair, the act feeling more intimate than anything else you did that night. You could feel him smiling, a small laugh rumbling from his chest as he kissed your forehead.

You weren't sure of how things would be in the morning, but you knew that you felt safe in his embrace, and that was more than enough for now. His slowing breathing lulled you to sleep, limbs numb from how intense you had each other. He held you tightly against his chest, a soft smile crossing his face as he soon fell asleep too.

In the morning, you got up before him. Nothing new, considering he was a sleepyhead. You took a nice, warm shower, remembering your actions of the previous night. You were glowing, sated from how well he took you. You couldn't stop smiling.

Wearing nothing but your nightgown, you headed to the room to see if he was up. He was sprawled on your bed, naked body barely covered by the thin sheets. It felt like a sin to wake him. You'd never seen him so peaceful before. You decided to cook breakfast before doing anything else, the idea of pancakes suddenly very appealing.

While you were finishing your plates, he appeared in the corridor, only wearing his boxers.

"Good morning, noona," he smirked.

"Good morning, baby," you smiled back, too relaxed to care about his teasing.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, suddenly shy.

"I feel good, honestly," you answered. "And you? You know we'll have to talk about it sooner or later right?"

"Later sounds good"-he got into the kitchen, holding you from behind as he stared at what you were doing."Something smells great in here."

"I thought it'd be nice to cook you something, since you worked so hard last night," you joked, blushing.

"I could think of better things to feast on in the morning, noona."-he turned you to him, pulling you by the hands when you tried to create some distance between you.

He kissed you softly, pushing you back against the dining table. You smiled, kissing him back and running your hands through his hair. He lifted you by your legs, placing you on the table; hands squeezing your thighs hard as he opened them, pressing closer. You started kissing him harder, breakfast long forgotten. He started to push your nightgown upwards, touching the small bruises left from the night before when, suddenly, someone started knocking on your door.

"Noona, it's Hongjoong!"

"It's all of us!" Mingi added, and you and Yunho shared a look, started to get nervous.

"Are you up?" Hongjoong asked. "Yunho didn't come home yesterday and he seemed so out of it after your fight. We don't know where he is and honestly, we're freaking out."

Before Yunho could say anything, you ran over to the door, worried about your friends. You opened the door, trying to fix your disheveled look as best as you could.

"Thank god you're up!" Mingi said, hugging you. "We have no idea of where he is and-"

Mingi and the rest of the boys fell silent as they saw Yunho leaning against the kitchen counter, barely dressed. You had the decency to blush, trying to cover any apparent hickies and marks with your hair, but he just smiled at the group, walking over to where they were standing as you closed the door behind them.

"Good morning, fellas," he said, grinning at you.

The seven boys exchanged confused looks, a few of them already smirking at the scene they encountered. You were afraid they'd tease you endlessly, and were not ready for it; not at all. Thankfully, they just laughed and said hello to their bandmate. Yunho excused himself and went to get dressed. You and Wooyoung shared a knowing look, falling into a fit of laughter, soon followed by the rest of them.

"What were you doing, noona?" Seonghwa asked, smirking at you.

"I was… We were..." you fumbled with your words, blushing hard.

"It seems like they were about to have... breakfast," Yeosang said, and you were glad he saved you from the embarrassment, even if he still teased you.

"Yeah, that's what we were doing!" you exclaimed.

"Are those pancakes?" Jongho asked, smiling. "I'm starving!"

You smiled at the boys, offering to cook for the whole group as Yunho got dressed, hoping they wouldn't mention whatever you were doing before they arrived ever again. They seemed to be trying hard to talk about anything else, joking about how they were glad their friend was safe and sound and mentioning how boring the club got once you left.

They started telling you tour stories, laughing at crazy fan moments and embarrassing interviews. Your chest was full of love and happiness for this group, and you smiled softly at them, saying you couldn't wait to see them performing their next release - one you'd already heard, since you were so close.

Yunho got back, smiling down at you, and he kissed you lightly on the cheek, picking up a plate of pancakes and scrambled eggs. The boys looked him over, San's hand running over his neck in a quick motion as he decided to speak up.

"That's gonna be hard to cover," he smirked, motioning to the love bite you left there.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Yunho said, hand moving to cover the same spot his friend had touched, his ears turning red.

If the group noticed San's teasing, they didn't show it; all too preoccupied with the table full of food to get into that. Yeosang looked up at you, smiling, and you couldn't help but smile back at him. You were as happy as you could be, knowing that everyone was treating you the same and, most importantly, knowing that Yunho didn't seem to be having second thoughts about whatever happened between you. You were still on friendly terms, you thought, and you realized you had never felt more content.

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howtowhumpyourhiccup · 4 years

Text

Whumptober Day 4: Suck It Up

Summary: Written for Whumptober Day 4. Takes place in my Httyd Zombie AU. Main fic to follow soon. The Dragon Riders exist even in a modern post-apocalyptic world and so the Dragon Hunters. When a pair get their hands on Hiccup, they attempt to do away with him in a rather slow manner.

Rating: Teen and up

Characters: Hiccup, Toothless, Astrid, Snotlout, Fishlegs, Ruffnut, Hookfang

Pairing: None

Words: 2 071

Fandom: How to Train Your Dragon

Prompt: Buried alive

Whumpee: Hiccup

Author’s Notes: I think this is the first prompt I finished for Whumptober and I've been so excited to share this one.

Written for the prompt: Buried alive.

Constructive criticism is appreciated!

Enjoy!

Ao3

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His head pounding and the metal taste of blood on his tongue, that is what Hiccup wakes up to. That and the dusty smell of old wood mixed with dirt. Neither of those three are all that pleasant on their own, let alone mixed together in such a way and all Hiccup can do is groan in displeasure at this sensory experience.

He attempts to bring a hand up to his forehead to hold his head, but finds it blocked by the wood that he's smelling. His hand thunks against it painfully, without a doubt chafing the skin on his knuckles and fingers.

It's right in front of him for some reason and it's a struggle to bring his hand up and feel the drying blood staining one side of his face.

A head wound. He's had so many by now that he can just tell. He hopes he hasn't been out for too long or he might be in more trouble than he can afford.

With this sudden resurfacing to the land of the conscious, his groaning is met by muffled chuckling and something being dropped with a scrambled thud on something hollow. Like dirt being shoveled.

It isn't until it happens a second and a third time that he realizes that this sound is much too close for comfort and specks of dust fall on his face that he realizes that dirt is being dropped on him.

"He-hey! What's-" He coughs, turning to not get lungfuls of dust only to find that this space is too small for him to even properly turn.

Opening his eyes, or trying to with all that dirt, he sees old wooden planks with the occasional mistreated spider's web in front of him. A quick look provides him with no comfort and he finds he's surrounded by these planks. He swiftly realizes the position that he's in.

He's being buried alive.

"Oh no... Oh no, no, no, no, no, no!" He repeats it over and over again, coughing more than once with all the grime falling between the teeny tiny cracks between the uneven boards.

Those cracks are the only reason he can even see as slivers of moonlight can still wiggle their way inside.

The chuckling from outside comes again and two people are talking about something he can't quite understand. He doesn't recognize the voices either, but remembering the predicament he'd been in before he blacked out gives him all the answers he needs.

Dragon Hunters. Not Viggo's men, not anymore, not since Krogan took over. But though their master has changed, their hatred for the Dragon Riders has not. They've managed to get their hands on him and now they are trying to dispose of him in an utmost terrible way.

There's no reasoning with them, not with these people. So all Hiccup can do is try to break free.

There is very little he can do. A panic causes him to slam his fists on the boards, he kicks them until his toes hurt, and almost too late does he see the nails poking out of some of them. Clearly they'd torn down some aged rickety whatever to quickly put a poorly made coffin together. No care had been put in removing unnecessary nails.

One of the nails scrape against a pinky finger and the burning causes his hand to start trembling. He's glad he noticed the nails before he impaled his fist on it, but that scrape is still worrying. His skin broke just enough to bleed and the last thing he needs is to catch tetanus.

But he can't let those concerns stop him. He needs to get out of this coffin before he's been completely buried and he can't get out anymore.

They can hear him struggle and it's reason for humor amongst the Hunters burying him. They find his growing panic hilarious. Every pounding of his fist on the top of the coffin in the hopes of breaking through the wood, of dislocating a board just enough to tear it away, it brings forth new chuckles and he can imagine the smug smirks on their faces. The sound of his struggling must be like music to their ears.

Hiccup coughs again, tasting the dirt and the falling webs on his tongue and gags. What little light there is in this death trap is being taken from him as more and more ground is shoveled on his coffin. His heart is racing.

His fists and kicks are doing nothing. Besides a scrape, he can't muster up the strength required to do any real damage even to himself in such a small space. And he can't turn in some vain attempt to push with his shoulders or back.

"Bud! BUD! TOOTHLESS!" So Hiccup shouts at the top of his lungs as his list of options is depleted much too quickly. He's hoping beyond hope that his Night Fury's exceptional hearing will pick up on his calls.

He should be conserving his air and just hope that his Dragon Riders will find him in time. They should know by now that he's missing, they rarely separate for long as it is. They should know he's missing and know that this means he's in trouble.

"GUYS!" He shouts and hears his voice reverberating off the walls surrounding him and make his eardrums protest. It does his headache little favors as well as his growing frantic need to get out as well as the steady loss of air.

And then the last of his light is stolen, that little bit of airflow is cut off, when they finish covering the top of his coffin entirely with loose dirt.

How long will it take them to finish leveling this unmarked grave they've thrown him in? How long until they leave? How long until his air runs out? Surprisingly enough, he never thought to research for how long you can breathe when you're buried alive before the Outbreak.

"Please, please find me." He pleads for no one to hear.

Hiccup grabs fistfuls of his shirt, attempting to calm his breathing even as the gravity of his predicament threatens to suffocate the life out of him. It takes him everything not to hyperventilate. He can feel tears welling up, can feel the lump in the throat and he holds his breath for a full three seconds before he dares to breathe out.

His effort to keep his emotions in check is almost in vain, and tears do wet his face before he can feel the need to cry slowly ebb away, forcing that overwhelming emotion to back down.

He's been doing this for too long to let something like this break his control over himself, the control he's been so carefully protecting and crafting this entire time.

Though getting buried alive is certainly a first for him.

'Please find me. Someone, please find me. Please, please, please. Please, Toothless. Astrid.' He has to think his pleas as saying them will only waste what precious air he has left for now.

It's what his Dragon Riders have been counting on for the past three years and a half. His level head, his creativity, his ability to sometimes have control over whatever situation they find themselves in this time. He can't lose that.

They count on him. They count on him, he just has to remember that and hold onto that fact.

Attempting to imagine their fear, them realizing that they can't rely on their leader, he wants to use the discomforting thought of his loved ones being afraid to keep himself in check.

It's working.

They need him and that means he can't die. He just has to tell himself that.

The sweating and trembling of his body, his heart racing, his headache's pounding worsening aren't signs that he's failing. And neither is the near bruising grip on his arms or the nearly dried tears returning with a vengeance.

His squeezes his eyes shut, they streak down his temple.

"C'mon, Bud. C'mon." They leave as whispers as he can feel these cramped walls closing in on him, he can't keep them down. It's getting harder and harder to breathe and he's not sure if it's because of his panicking or because his air is already running out.

How long has it been? He hasn't owned a watch or a digital clock, like a phone, in such a long time. He hasn't missed a mobile device or even thought about having one since he's lost his months after Outbreak Day after it had run out of battery long before that. But the light would've been appreciated. He has a lighter, but a flame, even as little as that one, will only eat away at what little oxygen still present.

Oh, where is his trusty flashlight? Where is it?

"C'mon, guys. C'mon..."

It's just as he's starting to lose hope and his panic is nearing a point of no return that the sound of hurried shuffling finally reaches his ears. The layers of dirt above his coffin are quickly being removed.

He dares to open his eyes, but his bruising grip or his hurried breathing don't let up. He has to blink a couple of times as more dust falls, but then the layers go and he hears voices. He recognizes them instantly and they become clearer and clearer.

It's them. They found him!

"There! There, I can see wood!" He can hear Tuffnut shouting, immediately followed by impatient whining and claws clawing away the last layers to then scratch at the box itself.

"Toothless?" Hiccup asks and the slivers of moonlight returns to him.

"Hiccup? Hiccup, can you hear me? We're here!" And that's Astrid. He can just barely hear her over the clawing, but that's definitely her.

His panic doesn't leave. It isn't until Toothless manages to grab hold of the lid and rips it open that light and air wash over him like a rampant wave crashing on a rocky cliffside.

His Night Fury is the first one he sees.

"Bud," He whispers.

The fresh air hits him like a truck and Hiccup inhales as much of it as he can. Toothless lets out a pained moan and smashes their faces together in his want to touch his human, to feel his warmth and his presence, to be comforted by the fact that he's still alive and they got to him in time.

Their cheeks pressed together, Hiccup holds his dragon's cheeks to keep him close. His hands are still shivering and he has to suppress the sobs of relief.

"Toothless, how about we get him out of there?" Astrid suggests, laying a hand on his shoulder, and the Night Fury reluctantly moves out of the way.

Once they can, the Riders grab him and swiftly haul him out of his would-be grave. Fishlegs and Snotlout each grab an arm to pull on.

Out of the box and into the open air, Hiccup stands on his feet only to find his legs too wobbly. So they lower him down onto the ground and Toothless is by his side again. Astrid kneels at his one available side and dusts him off.

"Are you okay? We got worried when you didn't return from your supply run and..."

"We were expecting to find you bleeding out or in trouble or something. Never would've thought they would bury you alive." Ruffnut speaks up, her hand holding her other arm.

The Dragon Riders are gathered around him, both the humans and the dragons. Hookfang blows some grime out of his hair.

"Yeah, I'm happy to be out, too." Hiccup tells him, scratching the Nightmare's chin.

"Well, we're happy too, but can you answer my question now? Are you okay?" Astrid repeats her question as Hiccup has neglected to answer it before.

He looks at her for a moment and nods.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine, I just-I just need a moment." He tells her, though it is the opposite of how he actually feels.

He feels awful. Though he's out now, he's weak with fear. This won't be an experience he'll just get to forget like some others.

But he'll just have to suck it up.

That's what he's been doing for well over the past three years, just sucking it up and accept that this is his reality now. No harm in repressing this bad experience as well.

#whumptober2020 #no.4 #buried alive #httyd #how to train your dragon #fanfic #rtte #race to the edge #httyd zombie au #hiccup haddock #hiccup whump #panic attack #my fanfics #suck it up

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danwhobrowses · 3 years

Text

WWE Royal Rumble 2021 - Initial Thoughts

I know I’m late, but employment is still a thing, and I had to prioritize that over an all-nighter, but it’s time for the Royal Rumble, one of the more exciting shows of WWE’s schedule, so let’s get on with it!

Spoilers for Royal Rumble, you have been Warned

I might not invest too much in kickoff matches but the Women’s Tag Match was not a good time

It was fine before the end, but who the hell decided that Charlotte should control 90% of the champions’ offense and have the hot tag!? Asuka is the RAW WOMEN’S CHAMPION, not Charlotte. After the tag Asuka literally had one spot and she was dead, completely taken out of the match for *checks notes* being thrown over the Announcer’s Table...you know that thing several wrestlers come back from easily.

The finish was just too much too, Ric distraction didn’t work, Lacey distraction didn’t work, Kirufuda Clutch didn’t work but then the brass knuckles did. Too much.

And why TF are we putting titles back on Nia!? We should’ve just given the titles to the Riotts, or the winner of the Women’s Dusty Classic. It also cuts me deep that Asuka and Shayna are treated this way, even as champion Asuka is a side character to Charlotte T_T

Main show though and I don’t like the package and interviews between entrances

Drew vs Goldberg was just...meaningless.

It was cringy enough that Cole had to spout drivel to make 60 year old Goldberg seem strong but to have Drew be ‘injured’ by a barricade spear - something much more tired wrestlers have and will get back up from in less time and continue a longer match - was daft. Also saying that Goldberg’s spear or jackhammer is the best move of all WWE is stupid, it was a WCW thing

Thank God Drew Won, but the post-match does remind you of the meaningless circumstances this feud came about. Suddenly Goldberg is okay with Drew’s same manners of respect

I mean, Carmella’s entrance and gear is cool, but do you think it eats at Corey a little that Carmella’s ‘behind the curtain’ bit is a tad...red light district?

Sasha’s promo didn’t hit for me unfortunately

Reginald didn’t deserve to be ejected for that! He caught Sasha and get beaten up for it

Jesus Carmella! Sasha got barely any of that dive

Screeching and faffing aside, Carmella got a good showing...I do hate quick tap outs in title matches though

Sami cuts a good promo, but his content wasn’t exactly the best. New Day are hardly the management’s faves, it’s taken this long for E to get a singles run, Fans literally had to Yes Movement their way into giving Kofi the world title.

New Day’s Brodie gear was good though

Bad Bunny as the ‘Biggest Latin Artist’? Is Cole for real? I didn’t even know who he was before today

If the song is about Booker T then why is he dancing around GI Bro?

Come on Book, you hang on the Sucka! That’d be like if the Rock just went ‘If ya smell what the Rock is cooking’ without the drags or pauses

Ric’s ‘with a tear in my eye’ promo was after the Rumble though...

It’s actually a sad stat that just over half of the Rumble winners win titles

No Morrison segment for the escape spot!? He did it as much as Kofi dammit!

Sorry Greatest Royal Rumble is not canon for me

This Stat Attack has taken far too long

I’m okay with Mike Rome but couldn’t a woman have announced the Women’s Rumble? Where’s Lillian at!?

NAOOOOOOOMIIIIIIIIIIIIII GIRL WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?

That hair is amazing as well

I know you can’t say it, but we all remember that Benoit won the rumble in the first two as well

Was...Bianca wearing earrings on her entrance, she looked like she was taking them off

Billie actually had the right idea, can’t be in the match until you enter the ring, it’s clever stuff

That tank did not look like it was meant to turn that direction XD

It actually surprises me every time how tall Shotzi is, I always imagine her short

Billie no...not with Shayna

The piped boos are highly unrealistic to boo even a heel Toni Storm

Shotzi eliminated and then horrible singer Jillian comes in? Urrrrgh, Bad Singer Jillian was terrible

Wrestling wise she hasn’t missed a beat though

Billie’s surprisingly being a highlight here with actual narra-OHMYSHITITSVICTORIA

Gear was a bit meh but Victoria definitely can still go

Oh Peyton the purple looks good on you, and her Widow’s Peak was not bad at all

Ah, good for Santana, for a moment I thought it said Santina and got a very bad chill

Damn Liv, Speed Machine!

Ooof, the betrayal is real Billie

THIS IS MY BRUTALITY!

Somehow I’m genuinely upset by every elimination so far, good job!

Aaaaaand then they got rid of Victoria and brought on Charlotte to immediately take out Rhea -_-

That was a clever move from Bayley but damn Ruby landed hard

Are we seeing a Bayley/Peyton team? Or is she just eliminating the Riotts for revenge for Billie, but also Liv Nooooo!

Torrie now, eh okay

Ouch for Dana

Lacey...no, this ain’t working

Poor Peyton, her elimination was a side chapter

And we missed Bayley’s elimination!? For Shame

Mickie! Good to see ya! Aaaaand being beaten by Charlotte...

Nikki Cross is back too! Hopefully they find a good story for her

Alicia Fox? I guess she sobered back into the good gra...R-Truth? No

Oh yeah, Humberto is a thing

Jerry shut the fuck up!

The 24/7 stuff was super unnecessary, we did not need to take focus off this match

Lacey eliminating Mickie, rude.

Dakota should’ve gotten more time, she barely lasted a minute

Reginald again deserves better

See Tamina vs Rhea would be exciting...if Tamina was booked better

Naomi’s chemistry with Bianca is really insane right now

Lana *reminded of her feud with Shayna and Nia* Also Lana *goes for Rhea*

That was a hard tackle on Alexa by Rhea...aaaaand she’s eliminated mid ‘transformation’ a bit worthless for me

Road Warrior Ember Moon! And right into the Eclipse that’s the good shit

Baszler probably shouldn’t have eliminated Lacey story-wise

The Betrayal is real for Tamina as well

What’s with the crazy camera cuts!?

Nia eliminating Baszler? Nah...

Hold on Cole, baiting Nia over the ropes isn’t a ‘tremendous elimination’

The betrayal is real for Lana too, Nattie sure shrugged off that double assault

I get that the narrative is that Charlotte has beaten both Bianca and Rhea before, but to hang against both of them after already being in a match and hanging on from two apron attacks was daft. Stop making her super strong, she’s mega talented yes but giving her the Brock Lesnar energy does her no favours

That close call though with Rhea and Bianca was great, need more spots of two wrestlers about to be eliminated at the same time

The final bit of chain wrestling too was great, that’s what you need at the final part of a rumble, the mini-match

I had Rhea as my win prediction but am more than happy for Bianca, who was my second choice. Winning at No. 3 is great and her emotional promo just gets her more over. Bianca vs Sasha’s gonna be wild too

Overall the Women’s Rumble was good, most of the women got shine and there were a few mini stories too, do wish that more time was given to some women and that Sonya was in the rumble but the returns were good and most of the eliminations got me good

Miz talking about guaranteeing a championship run like he didn’t lose the last cash-in and didn’t have a chance to cash in previously this night when Drew was ‘reeling’ from the barricade spear.

I reiterate that I wish Sonya was in the rumble, but do like her endorsement of Bianca

Again, this 24/7 stuff is wrong place and time right now

Last Man StANDing Match for the UniVERSal Championship

Cole, there is Champion’s Advantage. Triple H vs Michaels Last Man Standing, neither men made the 10 so Trips kept the title, 17 years ago. Royal Rumble 2004.

See, this is where a Finisher Spotfest works, because it’s not about pinfalls it’s about keeping people down

The camera switches are not doing good on this portion of the side of the thunderdome

Yes, attacking the knees, this is the Cerebral ‘rope breaks with his pinkie finger’ Owens I like to see

Ooof the Golf Cart, a la Kane and Stadium Stampede

Why is this training area just like a second arena

Lil’ running ref in the background

Right into that conveniently placed mini-ladder

Not the forklift! Think of Judy Bagwell!

Oh that curtain is the thing Becky took a photo of! I mean she was always gonna be backstage

Corey before the match ‘there must be a winner’, Corey after Owens went through the stage LED ‘The ref should consider stopping the match’

Did the Ciampa move there to stand up

I don’t think you’re allowed to use a Ref Bump that way

Then the Second Ref restarts the count and stops at 5!? If this doesn’t come back next SD it’ll be a misstep

It was a physical match, not the best I think the finish brought it down. The problem is that KO has lost 3 times now and the last time is a botch finish, and we can’t have him lose again - the poor guy needs a win

ON THIS DAY, I SEE CLEARLY!

I will say this immediately, revealing Edge and Orton as 1 and 2 beforehand was a terrible idea, just because you don’t have a live crowd doesn’t mean the people watching from home can’t be surprised

‘Number 3 is the worst number to draw on average’ - Belair just won at No. 3

Ali at 4? Then went after Edge and not Orton?

Sami, just don’t get in Orton’s face

Refs what are you doing? No rules in Rumble, where were you with Nia and Shayna with that logic

‘What does Shin need to do to be more successful?’ - for one not face AJ Styles, he is still a tag, US and IC champ as well as a RR winner, that’s quite successful

Carlito finally shows after the Legends Night tease and yes those are some abs

So...Randy’s just sleeping with this knee injury

Big E enters with some snappy camera angles again

I was hoping for more Ali - especially since Ricochet came immediately after - buy angry E was nice to see

Wait is that Elias’ entrance? Where’s the guitar strum?

Priesty, wonder if this is his main roster call

What DJ leaves his equipment on stage anyway?

‘The biggest star in the world in the music business’ - for real?

‘I’ve heard of flying squirrels but flying bunnies!?’ - Corey you need to watch Tokyo Joshi Pro, they got a flying sugar rabbit

To quote Ross Tweddell, MMMmmm Riddle...does not do it for me

Stop with the camera cuts I beg of you!

Mayor of Knox County!?

Ricochet eliminated by Kane, le sigh

The betrayal is real for DBry

Big Elim for Priesty though

‘Now it’s a Royal Rumble’ - reminder that Edge is a KOTR winner too, and that Nakamura is the King of Strong Sty-oh and Corbin eliminated him :/ what was the gauntlet about if you’re gonna Corbin him?

Otis’ new gear is slick

aaaaand Corbin’d again

Big Dom Fuck im Uhhhhhh Spinebuster’d

Damn he got him though

Dang that bounce sound from DBry

Bobby no why you gotta do Dom like that!?

Hurricane back from his Gangrel crossing and disposing Sammy Guevara’s broken body in Elite Deletion to do another rumble

One of these days, he’ll hit that Chokeslam and shit will go wild

Christian! This time getting the more emphatic reaction

Oh that smile, that hits you in the chest cavity...then Riddle ruins it

Rey comes in and WWE made him an advertisement ¬_¬

Edward James Omos what are you doing? well...I know what he’s doing, IC feud between AJ and E

Edward James Omos fuck you for eliminating Rey

The betrayal is real for Shamu

Cole how did you know it was Seth before his entrance hit?

I don’t think we were supposed to pick up Shamu welcoming Christian back but that was sweet

Then finally BWOAR

And Bwoar eliminates Cesaro, what was the point of his push? (it’s because his contract’s nearly up isn’t it?)

Again with the camera switching

Seth No! And where’s the boos pipe music!? DBry was a heavy favourite, that would’ve caused heat

Can’t believe Mmm Riddle lasted ahead of DBry

I didn’t forget about Orton, but the finish was good, that Orton tease got us good

It was a decent rumble, in hindsight you could tell Edge was winning given how they put express focus on Michaels winning at number on in the stat attack, Edge being face in peril for the first 10 entrants and Cole reminding us how long Edge has been in there

I don’t at all hate the end result, though I do question whether it was the best choice in the long run. Edge had his rumble win returning from injury already and throwing more legends at Drew does imply a heavy lack of depth in the current roster. Edge didn’t really need the win, but I’m not disappointed in him winning

The Men’s Rumble itself wasn’t as good as the women’s I don’t think, a lot of favourites of mine were unceremoniously dumped out quickly, any layered storytelling didn’t get enough time and it did feel a little by the numbers, almost a microcosm of modern WWE booking

Overall it was still a decent PPV, happy with the winners of the rumbles and that’s mostly all we need from a Royal Rumble. The Road to Wrestlemania starts here

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heartsawaken · 3 years

Text

under the cut you will find some headcanons of my muse lin kangdae , a twenty year old unemployed hot mess that i love very much . ( some triggering content such as mentions of death and dying as well as like , one mention of self - harm just as a warning . )

✶ his parents struggled having children , his mother was thirty - six when they started trying and after two years of trying , often resulting in miscarriage early on his parents decided to seek out other methods . this happened to be in the form of a demon , who agreed to helping them conceive on the premises that their child would 1 ) spend the entirety of their life constantly struggling , and 2 ) would not outlive either of them . they agreed .

✶ has spent more time in the hospital than not . as a child he just was easily susceptible to catching colds , coming down with ear infections , strep throat , and stomach viruses but once he hit middle school colds turned into the flu or pneumonia , ear infections became a diagnosis for meniere’s disease , strep turning into rheumatic fever despite antibiotics being prescribed and concoctions of symptoms with no apparent reason as to why that left doctors baffled .

✶ parents refuse to let people visit when he’s in the hospital because they’re worried they’ll make things worse . this leads to very lonely hospital visits which they try to fix with stuffed animals as comfort items . they don’t really work and now half his bed is just stuffed animals .

✶ his love language also happens to be physical affection so he comes out touch starved and overly clingy once he’s with his friends again . thrives from being hugged / hugging somebody from behind , hand holding , cuddling , and leaning / being leaned on . honestly would just be happy with linked pinkies .

✶ wears a mask every time he goes anywhere as if it’s going to stop him from catching anything .

✶ fully aware of the fact that he is the way he is because of the deal his parents made with a demon . when he turned eighteen he first met a gentleman who refused to tell him his name ( so he named him yogsim : 욕심 ) that came to visit him stating that he was there to ‘ take him away from this godforsaken place . ‘ it didn’t take him long to realize this person was much like a grim reaper and kind of surprised the other when he was adamant and fought against leaving . kangdae’s exact words were : what if i don’t want to go though ? and after a little bit of arguing the man told him if i give you more time than it’s being taken from another human being . and kangdae agreed without batting an eye .

✶ the kid is literally living off stolen time but every time he does this the time because less and less . he’s also starting to feel kind of guilty for stealing the last moments someone may have with their own loved ones .

✶ hates chess with a passion because once he starts feeling better but not enough to be released , the nurses will come play with him . but he’s really good at it at least .

✶ never finished high school . too much time was missed and instead of repeating or getting a tutor to keep him on par with the others he just had his parents withdraw him . not like i’ll make it through to a degree so why waste time doing that .

✶ in the past he would run away when his parents tried admitting him . this would normally be a time when he knew that yogsim would visit and had decided he would much rather die in a park or somewhere beautiful instead of a sterile , white hospital room .

✶ bullies people into taking photos and videos with him any possible chance so that when he did pass people would have only happy memories of him . this is one of the only reasons he’s thankfully his parents won’t allow people to visit him because he doesn’t want them to have memories of him in a hospital .

✶ has a healed burn scar on his left hand from letting somebody burn him with a cigarette butt while both extremely drunk to remind himself that he was still alive .

✶ prefers spicy food , super sweet confections , and strawberry milk . very fond of extremely cute and aesthetically pleasing desserts that look so pretty or detailed that they shouldn’t be eaten . flower shaped macarons , sugar cookies with detailed royal icing drawings and characters , animal shaped boba , and latte art . he loves it all .

✶ a true gen z in the sense that he could spit in the face of a cop acting inappropriately or aggressively but can’t ask for a straw or send back food that is obviously incorrect or cold .

✶ struggles with making friends for two main reasons . the main issue is that it’s always been hard for him to create connections with others while disappearing for days or sometimes even a week or more because of being sick and secondly because he doesn’t want more people to miss him in the future .

✶ isn’t afraid to approach strangers and speak honestly with them . this sometimes gets him in trouble because he isn’t afraid to go up to someone who is with their significant other and tell them just how pretty / handsome / attractive they are without realizing that it may come off as hitting on them and getting told off because of it .

✶ loves his parents but resents them for giving birth to a son knowing his entire life would be nothing but a fight to live .

#ｋａｎｇｄａｅ ▸ ａｌｌ !#ｋａｎｇｄａｅ ▸ ｍｕｓｉｎｇｓ !#ｏｏｃ —ｑｕｉｃｋｑｕｅｕｅ !#please know there's a lot of mentions of death in this #and slight self harm

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outroshooky · 5 years

Text

chrome, leather, and a night on the town | pjm

⇢ genre: drabble (1950s bad boy au) (fluff, some smut)

⇢ pairing: park jimin x reader

⇢ word count: 1.6k

⇢ warnings: uhhhh, there’s like brief swearing, a friendly amount of banter, and some dirty talk near the end. that’s it folks

⇢ a/n: so this is completely unedited and yes, i wrote a one hundred percent self-indulgent greaser jimin drabble today because i had nothing better to do. i apologize in advance. i also wanna send a heartfelt apology to gregory peck and audrey hepburn for desecrating a fine piece of american screenplay, roman holiday, that i’m sure is nothing like how this drabble portrays it to be

There’s something somewhat gratifying about dragging your boyfriend to a drive-in movie theater to see a horrible rom-com that you know will bore him to tears.

Naturally, there is a small part of you that feels bad about putting Jimin through an experience he compares to medieval torture. But, being the kind of person he is, he doesn’t complain- instead taking it as time to appreciate you and your reactions, the glow in your eyes sparkling, he says, like the Milky Way did that one time you two drove to the outskirts of town and stargazed for hours. That’s one of his favorite memories with you, and it’s, in fact, something he brings up as he swings a leg over the door of his creamy white Thunderbird, popcorn tucked in the crook of his arm.

“Are you sure I can’t pay you back for the popcorn?” You ask. “I’m already subjecting you to one hundred and eighteen minutes of Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck tripping over each other, surely you don’t need to pay any more.”

Jimin shrugs one shoulder, a playful smile tugging at his lips. “Don’t worry about it, doll. I’ll get you back next date night.”

You clamber to take the popcorn and drink trays from him. “Swear to god, if you drive us up to Make-Out Mountain-”

“Oh come on, I’m cruel but not that cruel.” Jimin settles into the driver’s seat, his hair perfectly styled over his forehead, cascading like tawny waves over honey skin. He relaxes, his own leather jacket squeaking against the fabric. “I have other date ideas planned anyways. Remember that night we took the T-bird and parked it on that cliff and just watched the stars?” He turns on his side to face you. “I miss that.”

Perhaps what you loved most about Jimin was the tenderness underneath the chrome and leather exterior, the heart he so confidently placed in your gentle hands with all of the intention to let you keep it for a long, long while. You cradled him close to the heat of your own love, warming his adoration with a quietly blazing fire of your own. Not once did he ever doubt his decision, not even while watching his best friends move through girl after girl like flipping through cars in those sleek magazines that were all the rage these days. They took what they wanted and moved on, while Jimin had everything he ever wanted right next to him, and he wouldn’t want it any other way.

You couldn’t help but feel heat blossom in your chest, cheeks warming under the love embedded in his warm eyes, and you mirrored his position in the passenger’s seat. “I miss that too. Next time, I promise.” You reach to take his hand, brushing his knuckles with the pad of your thumb.

Jimin hums, his eyes flicking to the screen. “I think this is the last preview. Wanna move to the backseat?”

You nodded, somehow managing to finagle yourselves into the backseat without getting out of the car, nor without spilling any cola or popcorn. Even if you did, it would be well worth it when you curl into Jimin’s side, his chest warm under your cheek.

The first forty minutes of the film pass without interruption, your eyes constantly jumping from the fluttering pictures onscreen to the light that dances across Jimin’s face, painting his visage in light and shadow and everything in between. His lips have never looked so wonderfully plush, and it’s when they wrap around the mouth of his cola bottle that you begin to feel the first ounce of your self-control eroding.

To say that you enjoyed being the spotlight was an overstatement. How ironic, considering you were dating a token local bad boy with a Thunderbird as brightly polished as the sun, but regardless, you noted that your car was completely blocked in on all sides, some with their tops down, others without.

Your attention was no longer on Roman Holiday, but it was definitely on another kind of holiday.

If you were to get what you wanted, it would have to be done with a bit of subtlety.

Your shoulder brushes Jimin’s when he nudges you in a silent ask to pass the popcorn and you decide to play coy, plucking a single piece from the greasy cardboard to press against his mouth. Eyes unmoving from the screen, he delicately nibbles at the snack, tongue lazily darting from between his lips to rid them of the butter and salt. He takes his sweet time with it, sweeping the muscle high to low, and something burns low and sweet in your gut.

This was so unfair.

Your fingers find their way to his own, one arm behind his head and out of reach, but the other resting just across your rib cage and thus, his hand is yours for the taking.

You marvel once again at how soft they are, nails short but neatly cut, especially for a man his age. You trace the birthmark on his wrist to the silver ornamented ring on his pointer, align your pinky with his to compare and massage your thumbs into his palm.

“Are you paying more attention to Gregory Peck or to me?” Jimin’s whisper in your ear makes you jump, and he chuckles breathily as he gazes down at you. His tongue pokes in his cheek when he sees you squint up at him, caught in the act. “Guilty as charged,” he hums, turning his attention back to the screen.

“Not my fault your lips are so pretty. And your thighs. And the rest of you,” you grumble with a huff.

He smirks, his eyes crinkling with humor and confidence.

“And you know it too,” you continue, pouting for good measure. “You know you’re hot and you use it against me because you like making me blush, and it’s just not fair, Park Jimin.”

Jimin noses at your jaw. “I’m going to tell Gregory you paid a whole forty-eight cents so you could sit in front of him and compliment your boyfriend.”

“You're a germ,” you huff.

“But I’m your germ,” Jimin hums, pressing a kiss to the apple of your cheek. “And you hate me so much.”

“Obviously I do. What a hood you are,” you declare quietly, folding your arms for good measure.

Jimin’s nose scrunches as he pulls back in mock offense. “Hey, I know I’m bad, but this baby can outlast a bike any day.” He pats the seat affectionately.

“Did you just call your car baby? I thought that was reserved for me and me only.”

He cocks his head teasingly. “Mm, someone’s gettin’ jealous now.”

“Shut up,” you huff, flopping back against his chest.

“What’s on your mind, doll?” Jimin’s lips find purchase in your hair and when your heart does a flip-flop in your chest, you’re suddenly reminded of your original mission.

“You,” you muse.

“Ah,” Jimin hums, nodding slightly. Then he smiles in that way that makes your stomach flip, and you know you’re done for. “Well, I guess that’ll have to wait till we get home, considering the movie and all.”

You sit bolt upright, watching in disbelief as he reclines back on the seat, eyes firmly glued back to the screen. “Y-You-”

“You were the one who wanted to see it, babe.” Jimin is the picture of total innocence and cocky assuredness. “I’m just along for the ride.” A mutual silence settles, thick and weighted, as you glare at him, hands curling in on themselves. He raises an eyebrow. “Are you not going to watch it?”

It is, at this unfortunate moment in time, that the exchange between you and Jimin is coincidentally timed with a somewhat suggestive film dialogue, one that is actually quite like several that have gone down between you two in the past. It's a devil of a line, one that you're half-inclined to miss, but your ears catch it just as it's spoken, bold and brave and the penultimate peak of the tension that's been building up for some seventy-odd minutes not only on screen, but in the backseat of your boyfriend’s Thunderbird on a hot summer evening.

“Would you help me get undressed, please?” The main character asks, a note of impatience in her voice.

The male lead pauses, obviously conflicted. “Okay.” He removes her necktie delicately. “There you are, you can handle the rest.”

You feel Jimin’s breath at your ear before he speaks, a gravelly tone to his voice that wasn't there just a moment ago. “But you can never handle the rest, can you?”

The little self-control you have left, frayed down to the bone, snaps in one quick movement.

Fuck the movie.

Fuck the other people around you.

That's it.

In one motion, you reach across Jimin to the lapels of his jacket, yanking him across the seat, but most importantly, on top of you. He catches himself on one arm, eyes wide in surprise.

“Don't tease if you can't handle it either,” you hiss in his ear, stamping kisses down his jawline.

“Oh doll,” Jimin breathes, gentle fingers brushing your hair back from your face. “I’ll do more than just tease you, if that's what you want.”

You bat your lashes at him and mirror his earlier movement, poking your tongue in your cheek coquettishly. “That's exactly what I want.”

“Fuck, angel-” Jimin groans low, raspy and dark and heated. “Fuck the movie, fuck anything else, I want you.” His eyes are narrow, hooded, sending heat down to your toes and chills up the back of your neck.

“And you’ve got me, baby boy,” you coax, whining faintly in his ear. Jimin’s eyes flick up above you, over the edge of the door to the other cars just a few feet away. He shakes his head.

“This isn't gonna do. What do you say we finish this in the bathroom, considering we’re probably gonna be here for a while?”

“I thought you’d never ask. Let's go before I find out if Gregory actually does end up undressing Audrey.”

#bts #jimin #bts smut #bts fluff #kpop smut #kpop fluff #kpop scenario #jimin smut #jimin fluff #jimin x reader #jimin x you #drabble #outroshooky

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prairiesongserial · 4 years

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11.6

John and Val had disappeared into the throng of carnies setting up for that night’s show, but Friday herself didn’t feel a particular inclination to help. She hadn’t yet made up her mind whether or not she hated Johannes and Ezra and their whole operation. Besides, it was hot.

She sat on an empty crate and watched as an outdoor stage took shape on the middle deck of the gigantic steamboat. Tents went up, strings of lights spiraling down their eye-searing red-and-white stripes. Her decision to sit this one out was becoming an uneasy one. Cody had gone off with the actress, Bellamy, to be some kind of courier for the day. And it had been a while since Friday had last caught a glimpse of John or Val among the carnies carrying boxes and wheeling crates. Maybe John was sitting the rest of the day out, too. Could be his knee was bothering him. She sure knew the humidity was bothering her, and she hadn’t been shot lately.

Friday tossed her hair agitatedly. Her curls weren’t behaving today, or very much at all, lately. She needed a haircut.

Friday finally spotted Val among a dozen carnies raising what had to be the main tent. Friday stared at it, transfixed, for a moment. Every time she thought she understood the size of the tent, another hidden pleat in the fabric was pulled taut. By the time the carnies had finished their work, the tent was so large that the tentpoles strained against the deck rails on three sides. The gulf air whipped the tent dangerously, threatening to send it out to sea like a sail sans boat.

The circus wasn’t alone on the deck; an odd mix of people had gathered to watch the circus set up. Apparently this steamboat, rich as it was, was just another place a citizen of Everglades City might take a walk on a hot afternoon. Locals with sun-leathered faces gossipped with their friends and the uniformed security. The security - that’s what they had to be - attracted all Friday’s attention. They wore white linen cut in a severe enough style that the apparel was recognizably a uniform, despite everything else about their appearance being casual. Friday watched one of them, a big, hairy-chested man who wore his uniform shirt open, loudly laugh and slap Johannes on the back.

Val soon found her. He was out of breath and drenched in sweat, which wasn’t a bad look on him. Friday passed him her canteen, which he eagerly gulped down.

“It’s hot,” he said, unnecessarily.

“You’re wearing too much,” Friday said. She gestured to the rest of the circus. Those who had been wearing shirts at the beginning of the day had lost them, or were at least down to their undershirts. By contrast, Val wore long sleeves and long pants, both black. Still no collar, though. It had been days since she’d last seen him wear it. It gave her the feeling they were just about due for a summer storm.

“You would say so,” he said gruffly, nodding to her. Friday examined her outfit. It wasn’t so revealing as all that She had bought the dress in New Orleans, not used to the wet heat of the southeast. Straps thinner than her pinky finger supported a plunge neckline - but that didn’t count as revealing. Plus her hemline ended just above the knee, which more than made up for it.

She frowned and glanced around the empty and half-emptied crates scattered at her feet. An opportunity to shrug off the slight leapt out at her.

“It’s true!” Friday sighed. “I’m underdressed.”

She stood theatrically from her crate and wandered over to an open box of wigs - from the look of them, the wigs for burlesque and clowning were stored together. Friday picked one up, a red yarn wig with wire in the pigtails, which held them at a jaunty angle. She dipped her head to put on the clown wig, then snapped up. Her back twinged - a reminder she was old, and therefore had to stretch before acting cute.

Val raised his eyebrows at her. Friday tilted her head this way and that, the pigtails bouncing on their wires.

“What do you think? Should I add this one to the regular rotation?” Friday asked, smiling toothily at him.

“You’re deranged,” Val said. He tried to take a drink from her canteen again before remembering it was empty. He slowly screwed the top back on. There was no hint of a smile on his face. Usually he’d give her something, out of the priestly obligation not to be a jackass, even if he didn’t think she was funny.

Friday squatted over the box of wigs. The pretty ones were on mannequin heads labeled with names - except for a short blond wig labeled “spare.” Friday swapped the clown wig for the real one. As the carefully styled locks of curled blond hair fell over her cheeks and the back of her neck, she felt a wave of relief. She hadn’t known how much she’d missed her silly powder blue wig, how awful it had really felt to catch her reflection and think “It’s fine. It’s good enough,” before turning away, day after day. Feeling little better than okay about her hair didn’t hold a candle to this.

Friday shook her head, making the blond curls bounce.

“I might keep this one,” she said as she wandered back over to Val. “This one has class.” Friday took his hand in hers, using him as leverage to step up onto the crate she had been sitting on. She delicately let Val’s hand fall, getting into character as she posed. “This one belongs to an upper echelon Hemisphere wife, don’t you think?” she drawled. “Why, this wig could go to cocktail parties...on the arm of a very important man who does terrible things.”

Friday waited for Val to scold her for being awful - and she was being awful. She would have been ashamed of herself if John or Cody had been around to hear.

Val simply said, “Yeah.”

Friday had been all ready to pout at whatever appeal for propriety Val had in hand, and so she was put off-balance by his utter lack of reaction. Something was wrong with him. Granted, she hadn’t felt so sunny herself about the hours they’d spent in a truck bed that morning, but no reaction at all?

A sharp whistle right next to her ear drew her attention away from Val for a moment. The preparations for the show were loud, but the whistler happened to be at the railing just a few feet away from Friday and Val. It was one of the uniformed security, a woman holding a clipboard. She had the attention of another woman in the same lightweight linen uniform, this one holding an ice cream cone. Friday wanted an ice cream cone. Somehow, whoever was selling that ice cream had got it in a red and white pinwheel, just like the circus tents.

The woman with the clipboard barked at the woman with the ice cream to take Miss Bellamy her ticket and seat number for the show. Friday watched with mild interest as the woman with the ice cream made a sound of dismay, gesturing to her ice cream, which was beginning to drip pink splotches onto her wrist.

“Sorry, sugar,” said the woman with the clipboard. “Oh, and better hang around the mansion in case Fleetwood wants to send a return message. I don’t think they’ve filled the courier spot yet.”

“Wait, are you serious? What happened to Adams?”

The woman with the clipboard beckoned the other woman in close. Friday gasped as the woman with the clipboard plucked the ice cream cone out of the other woman’s hand.

“What do you think happened, sugar?” she said, licking a drip up from the bottom of the cone. She flipped the top paper on her clipboard up and held it out. “Ticket and seat number.”

“Man, this sucks,” the other woman said, snatching the proffered paper and passing right by Friday’s nose as she took off down the length of the steamboat. “I used to date Adams.”

“What was that?” Friday hissed to Val, squatting down on the crate.

“What was what?” Val said, raising his eyebrows.

“That prime piece of drama, Val,” Friday said, still keeping her voice low as she watched the woman with the clipboard eat her stolen ice cream. “What happened to Adams?”

“What are you talking about?” Val said. His sharp purple eyes examined her with concern, and Friday felt some of the tension of the last few minutes drain away.

“Those, those bouncers - or whatever they are - were just talking about how something happened to a courier around here,” Friday said. “The courier who used to have Cody’s new job.”

“That’s…”

“That’s worth looking into, is what it is,” Friday interrupted. She sprang up to her feet, taller than him by an inch standing on the box. She paid close attention to how much attention Val was paying to her; his eyes tracked her, that scary, lifeless expression gone for now. “This is a job for you and me: Father Lecter and his beautiful assistant Friday Wilmot, private investigators.”

That may have been a step too far. Friday quickly amended.

“All seriousness, Val, if the last guy who had Cody’s job is missing, shouldn’t we find out why?”

She pouted; Val relented.

“Sure,” he said. “Right, lead the way.”

A wide grin broke across Friday’s face. She took Val’s hand, helping herself down off the crate. This was how things were supposed to be. Whatever was wrong with Val, whether he missed the convent or his shoes were too tight or, just, whatever it was - Friday was giddy with relief that he had rejoined her in the pattern.

“I think we had better grill the ice cream stall for information first, don’t you think?” she said.

“Ah,” Val said, nodding thoughtfully. “Now I see.”

11.5 || 11.7

#story

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vesperlionheart · 5 years

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Pompeii Chapter 51

Sakura felt numb as she pulled herself up the front porch stairs and through the large arching doors. They opened on their own, welcoming her home, and she was grateful for the enchantment. Once across the threshold a seed of strength took root in her chest and Sakura breathed deep. It wasn’t an old home, but when she inhaled there was history and character in the air, scenting every breath.

Her watch read the time as half past ten at night, but it felt so much later.

Sakura felt something at her back and turned around so the wall hooks didn’t have to stretch as far to pick her coat off her shoulders.

Last she had been back, Tsunade had been working on the enchantment, but since the mayoral races had begun, she hadn’t had much time left to spare. It was a demanding gig, campaigning as Minato’s replacement. Several others citizens of Pompeii had surged to make bids of their own, and it was a whole week before the serious candidates were sifted out of the bulk of hopefuls.

“Is that Sakura?”

Sakura looked up and smiled. “As if you didn’t know the second my car crossed town limits.”

“Hey, you never know, I might get distracted one of these days and miss it,” Ashura chuckled.

He shuffled into the room in an oversized fluffy robe from deep in her closets that made her want to laugh. Instead she reached for the edges and curled her fingers into the plush softness. Ashura easily drew her in, resting one wrist over the other behind her back.

“Welcome home,” he whispered.

“What...smells so good?” she asked, feeling her eyes drift shut once more. It had been a struggle to stay awake. “Potatoes?”

Ashura pouted, but turned around to draw her under his arm and guide her into the kitchen where the aroma drifted. Indra stood in front of the oven, cutting into a steaming golden yellow breakfast casserole made from fresh eggs, hash browns, and an assortment of other delectable breakfast meats.

“Oh Indra,” Sakura moaned, eyes watering as her empty stomach did flips. She was so tired, but she knew she couldn’t go to sleep until she had some food.

“You’ve been neglecting yourself. Here, come eat,” Indra said, already cutting out a portion for her and placing it on one of the china dishes. Ashura led her into a chair at the kitchen table and then left to fetch a glass of water.

“It takes so long to get home to begin with,” Sakura complained, sounding younger and more childish. Yamato would often tease her about how she seemed to regress in age whenever she was hungry and sleepy. “I didn’t want to stop for food. I just wanted to get home.”

Yamato and Sai took turns with Ashura and Indra watching over her when she got home from work. She worked hard long shifts and came home spent and in dire need of pampering. It became something the whole house quickly picked up on and soon shifts were sorted out to the housemates all for the sake of keeping Sakura well fed and rested.

“We are always eager to have you back under this roof, but you worry us with how you neglect your own body. A few minutes more doesn’t change much in the grand scheme of things. Here now, eat,” Indra said. He held the fork out to her and Sakura took it, stabbing at the breakfast casserole that warmed her belly like all good comfort food should.

Sakura finished over half the plate before she remembered to breath. She took Ashura glass and drank deeply before picking up her fork again. That’s when she noticed the cute blue and white pattern of the dishes.

“Are these new?” she asked.

“Said picked them out from a local thrift shop. He’s been quite handy about decorating this place up. Do you like the plate?” Ashura asked. He had come back to sit across from her at the table in his fluffy robe.

Indra reached down and pinched some of the robe’s fabric between his fingers. “Why are you wearing this again?”

“Let go, Sakura said I could.”

Ashura batted his brother’s hand away with a solid smack that Sakura chose to ignore. The two quarreled enough for her to know when it was appropriate to stay out of it and let them have their space.

“I like the plates,” Sakura finally answered. “They remind me of...I think it was a tea set I had as a child. It’s a pretty color though. I’ll have to compliment him on his choices when I see him in the morning.”

A yawn broke off the rest of what she wanted to say and Sakura nearly dropped her head onto the table for how tired she suddenly felt. Her belly was warm and full, her plate pretty and empty, but why did she feel so wrong?

Ashura was beside her in an instant, tugging off his robe to lay over her. It was warm too, and big enough that it felt like a blanket.

“You’re going to make me fall asleep at this table,” she chuckled into the wood grains.

“You do a fine enough job of that all on your own. The hours of your work establishment are just too unreasonable. Why can’t you quit?” Indra asked. “We have the money for it.”

“We have so much money. If you don’t believe us we can go get more. There’s tons of it buried in Pompeii that only we know how to get to. You’d never have to work another day in your life,” Ashura added. He sounded worried

“It’s not about the money anymore,” Sakura said, feeling another yawn budding at the base of her jaws. “I-I just want to work. I need to work.”

“You work too hard,” Indra said, voice turning hard in the beginning stages of anger. “Look at the state you come home in every four days. You’re a beautiful mess someone has to clean up or else you'd be left in a puddle on the doorstep.”

Sakura turned her head over and smiled up at the older brother. Seeing the look on her face his cheeks turned red and his ears twitched.

“You think I’m a beau-ti-ful mess?” she asked, teasing out the sounds in the word beautiful. Her own cheeks flushed pink.

“You’re a minx,” he grumbled, placing a wide palm over the lower half his face and spreading his fingers over the other half. A single eye poked through to watch her. Indra didn’t handle embarrassment as well as his brother.

“My brother has a point though, and yes, Sakura, you’re always beautiful. But back to the main point here, you’re running yourself ragged,” Ashura interrupted. “Can’t you go back to being Pompeii’s doctor? They need one.”

“No way. They can get by just fine without a doctor. They chose to forgo my services for months during the whole Kaguya fiasco. They can manage.”

“I’d be inclined to agree,” Ashura sighed, “but we miss you too much. You’re gone so much. Can’t you find something else to do that’s closer? We want to see you every night, not every four nights.”

Sakura felt a little guilty, but not guilty enough to change her mind. “I’m not ready to work in this town again,” she whispered. “Not yet.”

Ashura opened his mouth, but it was Indra that tugged him back. “She’s entitled to that,” Indra said before his younger brother could get any of his words out. “If she changes her mind, the clinic will finish its repairs in a number of weeks. If Sakura never changes her mind that’s fine too. It’s her choice. You agree with me, it’s more than they deserve after how they treated her.”

Sakura shut her eyes and felt the warmth from her dinner fade. She was cold on the inside again. It was too easy to remember how friends turned away and avoided her eyes. Parents who she thought she got along with lashed out more viciously than their children. And what was worse was the apologies that came, because she couldn’t bring herself to be okay with most of them. She didn’t want to forgive anyone. They wanted to burn her at the stake at one point. How does a person come back from that and ask to be your friend?

“Sakura? Are you still awake?”

Sakura lifted her head and felt the tears filly slip with the help of gravity. “I’m too tired to be asleep,” she mumbled.

“Then here,” Indra said, reaching for her. He picked her up, pinning her robe around her and folding her close to his chest.

Ashura moved around his brother to push in the kitchen chair and open doors when Indra got to Sakura’s bed room.

The walls were painted a dusky blue that blended up into a black ceiling dotted with stars and swirling celestial figures in Sai’s unique style. The bed was left in the center of the room, big and wide enough for her to roll around in and spread out in her sleep...or entertain the warmth of another if she ever wished for it. The gauzy curtain embroidered with stars and flowers was a gift from Ino that Ashura had to pull back to allow Indra better access to the mattress.

“I need to brush my teeth,” Sakura moaned, weakly flapping her free hand.

“Here, and don’t make it a habit,” Indra said, producing a shard of enchanted floride. Sakura took it from his fingers and felt the tingle in her mouth as the spell cleaned her teeth.

“And don’t forget,” Ashura sighed, “you need to be dressed for bed.”

Ashura slipped a metal ring onto her pinky and moved away. Sakura recognized the gift as one of his from when they all first moved it. There was a spirit in the ring that dressed her in any elaborate dress or suit she desired, no matter how elegant or extravagant. It was a glorious gift, but Sakura ended up only using it to change into silk pajamas without getting out of bed.

“You guys are life savers,” Sakura murmured dreamily.

“ Literally ,” Indra affirmed, tone serious once more.

Sakura just chuckled. “Thank you. Niiiiight….”

Indra turned to head out and leave her be, but Ashura moved forward and leaned over her mattress until he could reach her face with his lips. He kissed the side of her jaw and rubbed his nose into her loose hair before pulling back. Sakura hummed in appreciation, still not quite asleep.

Indra’s expression was a cross between horrified and outraged.

Ashura just shrugged and whispered, “What? She doesn’t mind.”

“You-you cad.”

Ashura rolled his eyes. “You’re just jealous.”

Indra left the room fuming while Ashura was more content than a cat with his cream.

In the morning Sakura woke half across the bed, wrapped in layers of a silk night dress. Her hair was a mess on her pillow, but that wasn’t anything she couldn’t fix on her own.

If Kin saw her looking so out of place she’d have a fit and then insist Sakura take a seat while she fixed her hair. Kin was always meticulous about things like hair, and Sakura had only asked about it once.

“My hair was the only nice thing I had for myself at one point in my life.”

It was the morning of her first of four days off before she would have to go back and work another four days at the clinic, which was an odd set up, but it was fine for now. She was doing well and got along well with everyone there, but she didn’t want to admit out loud of how of place she felt. Even in Pompeii with all its monsters, she had clicked right away.

She was uneasy among humanity, as funny as it was.

Sakura climbed out of bed and winced at the open window with all its sunlight. It didn’t look like morning anymore. No doubt she had slept in again.

Typical.

She almost left for the bathroom when a note on her nightstand caught her eye.

‘Sai and Yamato will be home early, so wake up before 4, okay?’

There was no signature, but she recognized Kin’s handwriting and knew out of all the other housemates that Kin was the only one who gave her so much unfiltered grief. Zaku and Dosu kept a respectful distance, but not one that made her think they still doubted her. In comparison, they kept everyone else at a much greater distance and rarely came out into the communal spaces.

Sakura took her shower, washed her hair extra nice, braided it back, and brushed her teeth to get rid of the taste of day old magic. By the time she was dressed and roaming the hallways it was even later in the day and she realized that most of her housemates were at work since it was a weekday.

She stopped at the threshold to the old tinted glass greenhouse.

There was at least one person she could still greet that was available.

Inside the temperature went from early March’s chill to a balmy warm that made her want to unfold and lay out on the ground to soak up all the light there was. It was nice and warm, but in addition to all that, a plethora of different plants grew lush and fill under Zetsu’s careful guidance.

“You’re back again.”

Sakura turned to see the half shrouded figure crouching in front of a row of flowers that rotated on a wheel. He didn’t look at her, but didn’t flinch away from her when she approached. Some days when she came in to greet him he was more skittish, forgetting their friendship and regressing to his former self.

“I’m back again,” Sakura echoed. “I always come back.”

“You did not come back yesterday morning, or the morning before that, or the morning before that. One more morning before all of those you were here, but you did not bid me goodbye.” Zetsu spoke without making eye contact.

“I’ve told you about that, haven’t I? I had work. I needed to go to my job.”

“You left!” Zetsu blurted, grabbing the edges of the planter and bracing against it. “I-you were gone and you were not here. You went too far away.”

The boundary of Pompeii, she crossed over it each time she left.

“Were you frightened by my leaving?” she asked, softly.

Zetus finally glanced her way and a new light came into his golden eyes, and it was like he was seeing her for the first time. He straightened his back and faced his flowers again. “No, I was not frightened. Don’t assume such things,” he answered in a newer voice. It was a mix of old and unknown.

“I missed you and this place,” Sakura admitted easily, holding nothing back. “You make it so pleasant in here. Will you show me what you’ve been working on?”

Zetsu paused before glancing up at her. He nodded stiffly than stood to gesture to a newer corner of the garden. He showed her his favorites and the new plants as well as the old. He updated her on what would be ripe soon and what would take more time to bloom.

Spring was coming soon.

“Will you be here tomorrow?” he asked her when she noticed the time.

“I’ll be here,” she promised.

Zetsu nodded and turned back to his plants. “Very well.”

Sakura watched him a moment more, holding the side of her face, fingers curled around the shell of her ear. Kaguya had left more than just Sakura broken and scarred. There were still plenty of wounds left in the wake of her death.

In the house Kin was eating the food Indra baked. The table had banana bread, scones, and spice muffins. When he saw her coming in from outside Indra shot her a frustrated look.

“All my beautiful breakfast pastries, and you don’t get out of bed until two?”

“I’ve been awake longer than that. I was with Zetsu,” Sakura huffed, reaching for a muffin. She bit into it and moaned aloud at the texture. “And it is never a bad time for your beautiful breakfast pastries, Indra.”

“Look at that, Sakura, his head just grew two sizes. Maybe you should pop it,” Kin teased, waving her own muffin around in the air.

“You’re insufferable,” Indra grumbled.

“That’s not what your mom said last night.”

“Vulgar child.”

“Someone has to be.”

Indra made a gesture with the flat of his hand running across his throat and Kain pantomimed the action of shooting him in the brains.

It was enough to make Sakura sigh. “And here I thought everyone in the house got along.”

Kin barked a laugh. “Not by a long shot.”

“You wouldn’t know anything about that, though,” Indra muttered.

Sakura just laughed and sat down at the table with a new plate and started to load it up with things to try and snack on. While she ate Kin cleaned her hands and went after Sakura’s hair, combing it back and braiding it down the back. It was almost enough to make Sakura fall asleep again.

Sakura opened her eyes and saw Ashura sitting across from her at the table, smiling fondly at her. His smile only grew when she meet his gaze.

“I’m not falling asleep,” she said.

“Could have fooled me.”

“Tell me how your days were while I was gone,” Sakura said, then she listened as each friend shared something new she could respond to.

The sound of the front door opening and closing made her stand, her smile stretching. She knew their footsteps by heart. There was no way she wouldn’t recognize them.

Kin was already leaning against the far wall with her arms crossed, watching the hallway. Ashura stayed in his seat and Indra watched from in front of the oven where a new set of biscuits were baking for dinner.

Sakura left them all behind, turning sharply from one room into the other, until Sai was there, crashing into her. Yamato came up behind them and swallowed both Sai and Sakura in his arms, nearly lifting her off her feet.

“It’s only been four days,” Kin sighed. “Do they have to do that every time she comes home?”

“Yes!” Yamato shouted. “Until she stays home, you better get used to it!”

There was plenty of chuckles and jokes after that, followed by dinner, and then movies. Sai refused to part from her side, and Yamato kept his eyes on her even when she left the room. When she came out of the bathroom he stood at the end of the hallway, checking his phone and waiting for her.

“You’re getting worse,” she teased.

“And you’re getting further away.”

“I’m not. It’s been like this for a while now.”

Yamato rolled his shoulders in a half hearted shrug. “It wasn’t any easier in the beginning, and it’s not getting any easier. You’ve seen Sai.”

“You’re both off tomorrow and Sunday. We’ll hang out. It’ll be okay. I promise to spend more time with you,” Sakura said.

“It’s not just that.”

Yamato sighed, taking her under his arm and leading her back into the living room. In place of a movie, the local news was on. The news anchor was talking about the local mayoral election. A banner at the bottom scrolled in red and white letters.

“And in other news, a group known as Akatsuki has been officially recognized as a legitimate organization dedicated to keeping local authorities in check. We asked local candidates their opinions on the Akatsuki but received only comments from Itama Senju, the younger brother of Tobirama and Hashirama Senju who some say is just another example of the old powers trying to hang on.”

The image on the television screen cut to a younger boy with bi-colored hair looking younger than either of his brothers. He wore a suit, but all Sakura could see was a boy playing dress up.

Itama addressed the microphone in his face. “I’d welcome any help the citizens might put forth on their own. Grassroots groups are a sign of an active community, and that’s what Pompeii is.” He smiled brilliant and then a new reporter pushed through.

“Senju, Itama Senju, what about the experiments left over?”

Itama’s smile twitched.

“Of course they’re an issue we need to address. The people of Pompeii come first, and their safety is my top priority.”

A new reporter pushed in and redirected the flow of conversation back to the Akatsuki members, and what Itama thought of them personally. Sakura thought Itama’s answers sounded like the came from a cereal box they were so stiff. He was a puppet, and she knew exactly who was pulling the strings.

“Experiments?” Sakura echoed. “What are they talking about?”

“Us.”

Sakura turned in her seat to see Zaku and Dosu standing in the doorway, glaring at the television screen. Kin was a shadow not much further back, watching as well. Dosu touched the curse mark on his neck and winced.

“They’re talking about Orochimaru’s failed experiments...us. Itama wants us rounded up and deported,” Dosu explained.

“What else is new?” Zaku hissed. “No one’s ever welcomed us, not really. Not anywhere except here. Pompeii isn’t much different.”

“They-they can’t do that,” Sakura said, feeling the stone of dread deep in her belly. “That’s cruel and inhumane. They wouldn’t do something like that!”

“They can do whatever they want with us. To them, we’re no better than garbage.” Kin said, sounding faded in comparison to earlier in the day. Her voice was a ghost of its former self. “And besides, none of them are human, and neither are we. What does that matter?”

#Pompeii #Chapter 51 #writing #fanfiction

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Paper Hearts Chapter 5 (Branjie) -- meggie

A/N: I’ve changed to using male pronouns for Brooke and female for Vanjie because it felt more natural. I hope the switch isn’t distracting!

A huge thank you to Evan, my conspiracy partner in crime. I buy 100% of your theories and live for Nancy Drew nights, babe. Thank you for being you and for letting me borrow one of your theories. ;) Thank you to pinkgrapefruit for taking a look at this before anyone else and telling me I was on the right track and to writworm42 for giving it the final once-over.

This chapter is dedicated to all the beautiful souls on the Branjie Discord because every single one of you lights up my life on the daily. Who else can I geek out with about THAT LIVE at 11 p.m. and theorize with at 11 a.m. when I’m supposed to be teaching America’s youth? TL;DR: you guys are the best and I’m so glad we’ve made our little family.

And to all of you, for reading, liking, reblogging, and commenting. Let me know what you think either here or on my personal blog @artificialmeggie. My ask box is always open and I LOVE hearing from you. You make this otherwise useless hobby of mine worthwhile. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Enjoy Chapter Five: In which Brooke regrets telling Nina, asks Vanjie what it all means, and receives an offer he can’t refuse.

It’s halfway through Monday before Brooke starts to regret telling Nina.

He and Vanessa spend Saturday talking and kissing and “getting to know each other.” Production takes them to a movie on Sunday, so they hold hands under the cover of darkness in the theater and hidden under Vanjie’s hoodie in the van.

No one really seems to be any the wiser. Silky and Nina watch them with sidelong glances, Silky through narrowed, cynical eyes, and Nina with her Disney character smile and the excitement of a mother watching her child flourish and blossom for the first time.

Brooke guesses he can’t exactly hold that against her—Nina has been like a surrogate drag mother to him, and this is a pretty big step forward for Brooke Lynn, who until this point was pretty sure he was going to die alone in his apartment and be devoured by his cats.

He’s an optimist.

What he can and absolutely will hold against Nina is choosing both him and Vanessa to be on her team for the Diva Worship challenge.

(Although Brooke will never complain about working with Nina because he adores her. Just call him Delano.)

And Brooke isn’t mad about working with Vanjie, but they had decided (together. After many shared kisses and touches) that it may be better to keep things under wraps for now. They both know that eventually this thing between them—whatever it is—will have to be revealed to the other girls, but Brooke is hopeful they can get to the top seven or eight before it becomes an issue.

Not to mention that it’s probably best they keep their distance. It will be easier to keep their heads on straight that way. Easier to not get distracted. Just a better situation all around.

(If he’s being completely honest, he had said all this while Vanessa nibbled at his neck and run her hands under Brooke’s shirt and hummed her consent against Brooke’s lips.)

But before Vanjie had left for the night, Brooke paused and pulled away and said, “Seriously. We can’t let this get in the way.”

Vanessa had smirked a little, but nodded. “You right. When I beat you I want it to be because I beat you, not ‘cause you were distracted by all this.” Then she’d taken Brooke’s hands and run them down her body until they’d landed on her hips and they’d started kissing again, long and deep and languid.)

Ballet training is about discipline, and normally Brooke has that in spades. But when Vanessa is around, all bets are off. He wants to touch her, hug her, kiss her. He longs to pull her into his lap, press his mouth against the sensitive pulse point just under her ear, and suck gently, like he’d done countless times over the weekend after he’d discovered the way it made Vanjie’s breath hitch in her throat.

But Brooke is a Professional™, and no amount of animal magnetism that draws him to Vanessa will distract him from his main goal: the crown, the title, the $100,000 he has earmarked for charity. The knowledge that he actually fucking did it. That he won the biggest pageant of his life. That he’s worthy.

There are no second chances on Drag Race for girls like him, the polished, poised, and perfect ones, the ones who should win the first time around, and Brooke knows he has to get this right on the first go. No. Excuses.

No distractions.

So. He isn’t pressed about working with Vanjie, but he doesn’t think it’s fair that he’s essentially performing two challenges in the same go, even if it’s by his own making. Because fighting the temptation to touch Vanessa is proving to be one of the most difficult things he’s encountered so far. Even though he knows it’s for the best.

Luckily Nina sees it fit to assign Brooke the role as her co-host and give Vanessa a role of her own, and Brooke sighs in relief. He’s more than happy to play second fiddle to Nina, feed off her energy, banter. That part will be easy. Finding ways to treat Vanessa like just a good Judy for the next twenty-four hours… That might not be so simple.

*****

Silky’s on their team too. Which is fine. Silky is good off the cuff. Silky will make the best of the challenge, even though she’s working with Ariel, and their relationship is more than strained after last week’s blow up. But they’re fine. They’ll be fine.

Brooke constantly feels eyes on him, and he knows they almost certainly belong to Dr. Ganache, watching him, judging him.

They fly through the challenge. He and Nina banter and it’s easy and wonderful; their years of friendship pay off again. Silky and Ariel sound great when they do their music number, any drama from last week cast aside in Britney’s name. And then there’s Vanjie…

Vanessa performs her exorcism on Yvie and Mercedes, and Brooke nearly ruins his makeup because he’s laughing so hard. And it’s that personality, the sense of humor, the sheer wit and ability to let go and be human (flawed and brilliant and totally, completely beautiful) that Brooke feels himself so attracted to.

“You messaged me,” Vanjie had said on Saturday when they were lying together in Brooke’s bed, the lengths of their bodies pressed together, her fingertips tracing the outlines of Brooke’s daisies with the lightest of touches. “Remember? Last year?”

Brooke had nodded. “When you were eliminated. I thought you should have stayed. I remember.”

“You were so nice.” Vanessa had kissed him then, soft and sweet. Innocent. Like (almost) all of their kisses had been over the weekend. “People were being nice to me because of the meme, but you were… I don’t know. It was different. Like you already saw Jose and not just Vanjie.”

“I’m surprised you remember,” Brooke had admitted, propping his head in his hands and looking down at Vanessa. “I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who messaged you.”

“No,” Vanjie had confessed. “But you were the only one that stood out.”

“Damn, I must be a better writer than I thought.”

“Sure…” She’d drawled. “Also I thought you were cute.”

“Then why didn’t you message me back?”

“I never said I was smart, Mary.” Vanjie had shrugged. “If I knew what kind of kisser you were, maybe I would have.”

Brooke had covered Vanessa’s body with his own after that, and slotted their mouths together, and time had slipped by while they kissed and caressed and whispered secrets into one another’s skin.

Brooke has just started on his third makeup wipe when Vanessa saunters up to him at the mirror. “You be lookin’ like Jinkx Monsoon in that red hair today, Miss Brooke.”

They bump hips playfully. “I was just channeling a winner,” Brooke says, carefully picking the Pros-Aide from his eyebrows with the wipe. “Don’t want a repeat of last week.”

“Mmm. Made me wanna kiss you real bad.” Vanjie’s voice is low, barely audible even to Brooke, and it sends shivers down his back and raises goosebumps on his arms.

Brooke pauses, face still half-smeared with makeup, and places his palms on the counter. Vanessa follows suit, twisting their pinkies together. He knows he’s imagining it, but to Brooke all the background noise of the Werk Room fades to nothing. Silky’s boisterous laugh disappears, Ariel’s incessant vocal runs dissipate… All he hears is the pounding of his heart in his ears and the rush of breath in and out of his lungs that burn for Vanjie with every inhale.

“Hey, guys!” Nina drops her own package of makeup remover wipes on the counter to Brooke’s right, shattering the moment and causing Vanessa to pull her hand away suddenly.

Brooke starts at the lack of contact, and he misses it immediately, but he sighs.

No distractions.

“Great work today,” Nina says sincerely. “Both of you. You were hilarious, Vanessa.”

Vanjie gives Nina a tight-lipped smile and turns to Brooke, pulling him into a hug. “Come to my room after dinner,” she whispers into his ear. “And don’t chicken out this time.”

Brooke nods and watches as Vanessa rejoins Silky and A’keria across the room. Then he sighs heavily and looks at Nina.

“Was it something I said?” Nina asks, concern painted over her features. “I really meant it! She was great!”

Brooke just laughs. “Girl, I love you, but you really do have the worst timing.”

*****

They have dinner together in the conference room (with Silky, A’keria, and Nina; totally innocent, even with Vanessa’s bare foot rubbing against Brooke’s ankle under the table), then Brooke brushes his teeth and waits the agreed-upon fifteen minutes before he ventures into the hall and knocks on Vanessa’s door.

She answers almost immediately and pulls him in by the collar of his hoodie and crashes their lips together in a rough greeting kiss.

“Hey, papi,” he says when she pulls away with a quiet moan.

“Hi,” she echoes, palms landing flat on his chest. “Bitch, I been wanting to do that all damn day.”

“I know. Me too.”

“You got me fucked up, Brock,” Vanessa says, running a hand through her short hair and turning towards the bed. “Okay so. So… Okay. We just can’t work together anymore.”

He nods. “I told you. It’s just better that way.”

She’s pacing the room, nervously rubbing her hands on her shorts, occasionally shaking her hands out when she starts to speak.

One of his favorite things about her, he’s noticed already, is the way she talks with her hands. He’d asked her once, in the middle of a diatribe, if she would still be able to speak if he held her arms behind her back.

She’d merely raised an eyebrow, told him she was kinky, and offered to let him find out. Which had made him blush and change the subject rather quickly because too many offers like that and he was going to take her up on it. And that kind of control, he can’t afford to lose right now.

“Whatever this is,” she mutters, waving her hands wildly, “we gotta keep it separate from the competition.”

“What is this,” he responds before he can stop himself. “Exactly?” He knows it’s asking a lot. It’s far too soon for them to have this conversation, but in the microcosm of Drag Race, everything seems to be moving at warp speed. Truth be told, nothing’s ever felt as firm as whatever this is between him and Vanessa. Putting a name on it, well… It just seems like that natural next step.

Plus that’s just how he operates. He’s an all-in kind of girl.

Vanessa stops pacing and looks at him. “It’s whatever you want it to be, baby.” She shrugs. “We can just fuck around and never speak after this, we can… Shit, I don’t know.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know what I want for breakfast most days.” Vanjie shakes her head and smiles a little. “But I know I like you… A lot. And I like kissing you a lot. You’ve made being here easier and I don’t want that to end any time soon so…” She shrugs. “Whatever that means to you, Mary.”

“I like you a lot, too,” he says and grips her chin and presses his lips to the corner of her mouth, testing the waters, waiting to see how she responds.

She melts into him, body folds like origami against his sturdiness, and he uses his other hand to catch her underneath her elbow as he probes deeper into the crevices of her mouth.

This is familiar now. After their weekend spent cuddling in bed, he knows every inch of her mouth, recognizes her taste. His lips are familiar with the way hers move against his (and what a spectacular way they move). Less familiar is he with the way she grips his back, fingernails digging into the muscle that ripples beneath his t-shirt, holding on for dear life; the way she moves to straddle his thigh, the semi-hardness of her already evident in her shorts.

They could… It’s just after nine. Room checks aren’t for another hour and a half…

Desire stirs in his stomach and he shifts and reaches for her thighs, lifting her in one swift motion so her legs are wrapped around his waist, and carries her backwards to the bed as she presses gentle, airsoft kisses into his jawline.

Brooke lowers them both down softly, careful to shift his weight onto his knees and not on her as he joins her in bed. “Is this okay? We can stop anytime. Just say the word. I’ll listen, all right?” he asks, desperate for her to confirm, to beg him to continue.

“If you don’t stop talking and kiss me, I swear to god, Brock…” As if to prove her point, she tilts her hips upwards, right into where he’s most sensitive and yearning for her, and his breath catches in his throat as she grips his neck and pulls his face down to hers.

He reaches for the drawstring on her shorts, finally ready to realize every dream he’s had for the past week, when there’s a knock at the door. Vanessa pulls away and glances at the door, confusion written across her delicate features.

“Vanj? You in there? It’s Silk. I got one of the PAs to go get some snacks from the Walmart!”

“Shit. Shit.” Vanjie scrambles out from under Brooke, tugging at her shorts to cover the obvious bulge, rubbing at her lips to diffuse the redness, both to no avail.

“Ignore her,” Brooke whispers.

“Nah, she won’t go away,” she replies, running a hand through her hair. “We just… Look, turn the TV on, okay? We were watching a movie.”

Brooke Lynn sits back against the headboard (and pulls a pillow into his lap) as he flips on the TV and watches Vanessa open the door to reveal Silky standing in the hall, holding a reusable shopping bag.

“It’s not a lot,” the larger queen says as she barrels into the room, “But I got gummy bears and Pringles and—Oh. Hey, Brooke Lynn.” Silky pauses halfway between the door and the bed and glances between Vanessa and Brooke a few times.

Vanjie shifts uncomfortably from her left to right a few times and offers Silky the chair against the wall. “Brooke and I were watching a movie.”

Silky’s eyes narrow and she glances at the TV. “Yeah? Which one?”

Brooke hadn’t been paying that much attention to the TV when he turned it on, so he presses the info button on the remote and can hardly believe their luck. He clears his throat. “Umm. Deep Impact.”

Silky nods. “Should I come back?”

“No!” Vanjie says quickly and guides her to the chair. “No. No, you can definitely stay and hang with us and watch…” She glances at Brooke, “Deep Impact with us, right, Brooke?”

Brooke offers a sort of half-salute, but he feels his cheeks burn with shame. Five minutes ago, he thought he was about to get laid. Now he’s watching a bad sci-fi movie with Silky and Vanessa.

After procuring a bag of gummy bears from Silky, Vanjie crawls back in bed and situates herself underneath Brooke’s arm. She looks up at him and grins.

It’s not what he had in mind, but he guesses it isn’t the worst thing he could be doing.

*****

Ten-thirty rolls around much more quickly than anticipated when he’s spending time laughing and snuggling and sneaking kisses when Silky’s head is turned to A’keria or Nina or Yvie, filling them in on the latest gossip from the Werk Room.

But soon the head Production Assistant—Maya—raps on Vanessa’s door and tells the girls it’s almost time for room checks. So Brooke waits until everyone else has filtered out of Vanjie’s room before he lands his lips on hers and kisses her goodnight.

“Sorry our plans got derailed,” she says quietly, pulling on his hoodie. “I didn’t know she was coming.”

He shrugs. “We’ve got plenty of time.”

“Until we don’t.”

“You’re not going anywhere anytime soon, okay?” Brooke kisses her again, harder this time, to convince her just how confident in her he is already. “Especially not this week, Miss I-Thanked-Myself Vanjie.”

Vanessa closes her eyes and rests their foreheads together. “See you tomorrow, mami.”

“Good night,” he whispers and closes the door behind him.

Maya is waiting in the hallway, back against the wall between their hotel room doors.

“Hey, Brooke,” she says softly. “I’d like to talk to you for a moment. Can I come in?”

He doesn’t really think that’s a question he can say no to, so he swipes his key card, holds out his arms, and welcomes the woman into his room.

Maya is all business—clutching a clipboard to her chest, earpiece firmly in place, walkie-talkie permanently connected to her hip—and Brooke’s stomach drops because surely this can only mean one thing: they’ve been found out and he and Vanjie are both about to be sent packing. A double disqualification. They’ll make Willam’s ordeal look like child’s play.

He swallows hard and tries to smile as Maya eases herself into the chair against the wall. “What’s up?”

“First of all, you aren’t in any trouble.” Maya smiles up at Brooke, who feels the weight of the world lift off her shoulders. He’s safe. But Vanjie… “Secondly, we’ve noticed that you and Miss Mateo seem to be growing close.”

Brooke freezes,tries to carefully control his features so as not to give anything away. Maya had said he wasn’t in trouble. And there’s nothing in the contract that says relationships are forbidden… Still, at this point, it’s probably best to play things close to the chest. For everyone involved.

“We’re good friends,” Brooke finally settles on. “I like her a lot.”

Maya grins. “I know that our rules here at the hotel can seem a bit… strict, especially when it comes to keeping you girls separated at night. I know there are times this ten-thirty room check seems a bit much because I realize there are certainly nights when you’d like to stay up to chat with each other.” She raises an eyebrow. “Or engage in other activities with each other.”

Brooke can’t help it; he blushes furiously, like a 12-year-old girl caught admitting her crush.

“I’ll be blunt, Brooke,” Maya continues. “This is the eleventh season of Drag Race, and we’ve yet to have a romance despite Ru’s wish that there be one. I’m not going to ask you to force feelings if they aren’t there… But if they are developing naturally as I believe them to be, production would be willing to overlook certain rules as far as you and Vanessa are concerned.”

At first, Brooke doesn’t know if he should be offended that they want to use him and Vanessa for ratings or be grateful that they’re being given this opportunity to get to know each other more intimately.

Vanessa had been handsy over the weekend, grabbing Brooke’s ass over his shorts and running her hands under Brooke’s shirt along the broad expanses of his chest and stomach, but Brooke was hesitant to push things too far. It was too fresh, too new. And, if production caught them, who knew what would happen then?

So Brooke had to pull away and look down at Vanessa and tell her to stop, even though what he really wanted to say was, “More more more.” Like tonight. Just like tonight.

Brooke looks up at Maya. “So all we have to do is what exactly?”

“Exactly what you’re doing now,” Maya says with a shrug, “but more in front of the cameras. No need to hide the beginning of something beautiful, am I right?”

“And what exactly do we get out of it?” Brooke isn’t convinced.

“Well, nothing officially. But we’d be willing to…” Maya chews her lip, carefully choosing her words. “Overlook it if certain rules were broken. Say if one of you were in the other’s room at room checks and had an inclination to stay there… We would probably be willing to turn a blind eye.”

Brooke studies Maya’s face carefully. He’s always played things by the book, afraid to bend, let alone outright break, a rule. But here’s the lead PA practically telling him it would be okay. Still, Brooke isn’t a fool. She understands how easy it would be for production to rescind their offer if he or Vanessa made a misstep.

He remembers Vanessa’s lips leaving trails of fire down his neck and her fingertips brushing against the black outlines of the daisies on his arm. He thinks about running his tongue over Vanjie’s cat tattoo, like it was put there just for him, a beacon calling him home, signaling him to where he’s truly supposed to be.

We have plenty of time, he’d told her and meant it, confident in both their abilities to last in the competition.

Until we don’t.

Then they just can’t misstep.

“Can I talk it over with Vanessa?” Brooke says quietly, still not completely believing that he’s considering this, that it could be real, that he’s fallen into something so deep.

Maya shrugs and pushes herself to her feet. “Sure. Or don’t. Either way, I was never here. But we’ll be watching the two of you very carefully.” She pauses by the door with a hand on the frame. “Have a good night, Brooke.”

Brooke nods and watches as Maya flashes him a brilliant smile and leaves the room, walkie-talkie flashing green on her hip.

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #branjie #canon compliant #submission #meggie #paper hearts

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ja-barakrispy · 4 years

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The Moon in Your Eyes - Chapter One: Jasey

OK, so this is an original story that I have written - it’s your typical teem romance story, full of lil dramas, about a 16-year-old girl who moves from Baltimore to a new school, and falls in love with an aloof ‘bad-boy’ type, who has also had his fair share of heartbreak in recent years. It’s honestly a tumblr-perfect teen story.

Lots of music and pop culture mentions as well - the likes of Harry Styles, Elton John, Nirvana, Lewis Capaldi (my characters have really good taste in music, if I do say so myself), and both main character’s favourite film is Donnie Darko. Just so you know the characters a little better, and to give you as a reader a better idea as to wether these will be characters that you can relate to!

The chapters flip between the point of view of Jasey (the female protagonist) and Spencer (the male protagonist), but I will highlight this at the beginning of each chapter.

Posting this online is a BIG confidence thing for me, as I love writing, but have 0 confidence in my ability. BUT I have enjoyed writing it so far, and feel like maybe others would enjoy it too?

Any feedback, likes, reblogs would be so greatly appreciated! If this gets like no response, I probably won’t post any more, but we will see!

One Jasey

Warnings: Few curse words, slight anxiety.

Word Count: 1,848

A/N: These characters have all been created by me, and this is not based on true events - any character resemblance to anyone alive or deceased, and any story resemblance, is purely coincidental.

I checked myself over in the full-length mirror one last time. I tugged at my burnt-orange, corduroy skirt, the buttons running down the centre of it cold against my fingers. I pulled up the polka dot tights around my knees, and straightened out my over-sized, white sweater embroidered with maroon, orange and yellow flowers over the chest. I’d paired the outfit with plain black Doc Martens – because really, you can’t go wrong with Docs.

I’ve always tried to look my best. Back in Baltimore everyone used to say I dressed like hipster/indie kid hybrid, but I never really cared. I was always comfortable with my look, and that was all that mattered to me. But there was something about my outfit today that I questioned; what if people thought I was… overdressed? Usually, I wouldn’t care, but today was my first day at Nightingale High, and I wanted to make a good first impression. What if the people here were a little more refined than I was?

My dad is a Chemistry Professor – he used to teach at my old middle school, so when he was offered a position at Orley University, just outside of Pittsburgh, my family packed up our life in Baltimore and headed west. I was excited. Mostly.

Born and raised in Baltimore, leaving it behind was tough. But, really, I guess I kind of knew I was ready for life’s next adventure. As I stared myself down in the mirror, I clasped my necklace close to my chest and began to fiddle with it between my fingers.

“Jasey, come on, we gotta go.” My older brother, Tyler, called me from downstairs, snapping me out of my trance.

I grabbed my backpack, took one last glimpse into the mirror, and made my way down.

Tyler was waiting for me at the bottom of the staircase, tapping away on his phone. I gently slapped him on the forehead as I passed him – no reaction.

Tyler was 17, and going into his Senior Year at Nightingale. Being so close in age, we always used to get mistaken for twins, until 9th Grade, when he started to get taller and bulked out from playing football.

“Sociable as ever, I see, Ty.” I rolled my eyes slightly.

“I am being sociable,” He looked up, gesturing to his phone. “Everyone back home is sending me good luck texts, and I - being the polite young man I am - am making sure I reply to everyone individually.” He gave me a sarcastic smile, as I folded my arms across my stomach.

“Hey, you are home!” My mum pointed a finger at Tyler as she entered the hallway from the kitchen, her British accent still as evident as ever.

My parents are both from the UK – my mum is from Chelsea in London, and my dad is from Glasgow in Scotland. They moved to the US 16 years ago, when Tyler was a year old, and mum was pregnant with me, along with my two older half-sisters from my dad’s first marriage, April and Norah.

“Yeah, OK.” Tyler sighed. “Roddie, we’re getting in the car.”

Roddie is our youngest sibling – 13 and just starting 8th grade at Westinghouse Middle School. Roddie isn’t short for anything; not Rodney or Roderick; he’s just Roddie. Our mum is obsessed with Rod Stewart, and when she was in labor with our littlest kin, she’d put on a playlist she had created, ready for her sprogs arrival. ‘Hot Legs’ by none other than Rod Stewart himself popped up on shuffle at the exact moment my wonderful little brother made his appearance into the world. And so, Roddie was born, named after the man who was there for our mother during his birth. “I’m coming!” Roddie ran into the hallway, nearly slipping on the laminate flooring.

“Have the most amazing day, all of you,” Mum embraced all three of us in a group hug. “I love you guys so much.”

“We love you too, mum.” I smiled sweetly at her. “See you later.”

We piled into Tyler’s car, mum blowing us a thousand kisses, as we pulled out of the driveway and headed to our new schools. Tyler switched on his car stereo, Drake blaring through the speakers, which prompted me to put in my headphones. I scrolled through my Spotify, before deciding on shuffling the songs in my Elton John playlist. My phone pinged, a new text illuminating the screen.

Isaac Good luck at your new school today, Stinks. I’ll be thinking of you xxx

I smiled as I read the message.

Leaving Isaac back in Baltimore was tough. We’d been together for just over a year, and he was the first guy I’d ever really had feelings for (if you discount Warren Princeton in the 7th grade).

Jasey Thanks sweet cheeks, missing you so much xxx

Isaac Facetime later? xxx

Jasey Wouldn’t miss it xxx

I caught myself smiling as Isaac and I sent a stream of messages back and forth.

“Aw, texting your boyfriend?” Tyler said, making kissy faces.

Rolling my eyes, I took the ear-bud out of my left ear. “At least I have a boyfriend,” I raised an eyebrow at him. “You can’t seem to keep a girlfriend for more than five minutes.”

“I need to spread my wings.” He shrugged. “I don’t like being tied down.”

I rolled my eyes again – harder than last time – and sighed, “whatever you say, Romeo.”

“Besides,” Tyler grinned. “How could I pick just one girl, when so many want me?”

Roddie began to make retching noises from the backseat, as I belly laughed. “Oh, Tyler,” I gasped for a breath, “You really are something else.”

Before we knew it, we were at Westinghouse. As we pulled up in the drop-off layby, Roddie unclipped his seatbelt and shuffled to the edge and the centre of the backseat, so that he was closer to Tyler and I. He put his arms out in front of him, his thumbs hooked together and pinkies sticking out from both hands, almost resembling a bull. Tyler and I both did the same, this time connecting all of our pinkie fingers together. We started to chant softly and slowly; ‘Tanner kids rule’. Gradually, we got faster and louder, eventually swapping to a vocal Mexican wave of ‘woahs’, before breaking our finger circle, lifting our bull-formed hands over our heads and shouting our last name – “Tanner’s out!” It was cringy, and ever so corny, but we’d been doing this since Roddie could barely talk; it was our little tradition.

“See you guys.” Roddie smiled, climbing out of the car.

“Have a great day, bucko.” I waved.

Roddie skipped up the steps to his new school, excitement in his eyes, before turning back to the car and giving us a cheerful wave. I blew him kisses as Tyler waved back. “OK,” Tyler began, once Roddie had disappeared inside. “Let’s go take Nightingale High by storm, little sis.”

* * *

We walked up the school steps together, shoulder to shoulder, holding our breath until we walked through the front doors. The hallway was alive with hundreds of teens, some stuffing their blue coloured lockers with bags, books and binders, while others stood around chatting, chortling and checking in on what had happened over the Summer. It was almost too loud to hear yourself think, the buzz was electric. The school’s crest was displayed on a huge banner above the doorway, as well as laminated onto the floor in front of us – a nightingale bird, with a lamp hanging from it’s beak, displayed in blue and gold.

“So, this is it.” I breathed in. “I guess we should go and find the office.” Tyler placed a hand on my shoulder, looking down at me. I nodded boldly, as we searched the hall for any clue as to where we needed to go. I noticed a board a little way further into the hall, which had a map of the whole school. “Over here,” I tugged on Tyler’s arm. “We need to carry on down the hall, and take the second left.” Tyler studied the map. “OK, let’s go, I’m ready for this.” I attempted to pump myself up.

In reality, I was petrified. I grew up with all my friends in Baltimore: we had known each other since Pre K, so I’d never really been in a position where I had to prove myself as worthy to a bunch of new people in one hit. Making friends is a lot easier when you’re 4-years-old. Now, I had to try and make fresh friends, and settle into a new school environment, all whilst trying to maintain my high grade average. Tyler and I followed the directions on the map and came to the main office. A young woman sat on the other side of the desk, and greeted us with a warm smile. She looked pretty young - perhaps only in her early 20’s - her short blonde hair framing her soft face. She gave us both our timetables for the semester, along with a locker number and combination each, and a map of the school to keep. “You’ll both need to go to your homeroom classes first, and if you need any help at all with finding your classes, the teachers, and I’m sure your fellow students, will be more than happy to help you out.” She smiled. Tyler and I said our thank yous and headed back out into the hallway. It wasn’t as busy as when we’d first arrived, but the after-Summer-buzz was still apparent.

Tyler studied his timetable, his brow forming into a frown. “My first day of a new school, and they give me all the worst classes – I hate this place already.” “I dunno,” I smirked. “My classes don’t seem to be so bad.”

Tyler grabbed my timetable out of my hands and whispered each class to himself; “English Lit, Music, Astronomy, Art…” He opened his mouth wide and made his frown even deeper. “Study Hall?

“So I get all the whack classes, and you get let off with a fuckin’ Study Hall?” Tyler whined. “Sorry dude, I didn’t write the timetable.” I held my hands up. I jumped slightly as the bell rang, signaling the start of our first period of the day.

“Right, I’m out. See you later, loser.” Tyler began walking to his homeroom class, flashing the ASL for ‘I love you’ to me as he walked away. I put my fingers up in the same formation, “Hope you have a shitty day.” I called after him. I looked down at my map and timetable while simultaneously walking, trying to figure out where my homeroom was. I came to a bright red door, with one singular square window in the centre. The door had ‘C7’ engraved into a plaque right at the top – I was in the right place. “OK,” I breathed, prepping myself to go inside. My stomach flooded with anxiety, filling to the brim with intense butterflies: “you can do this Jasey. You are OK.”

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pocket-luv101 · 6 years

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The Angel and The Witch || Chapter 1

Fandom: Servamp Relationships: KuroMahi, LawLicht Characters: Kuro, Mahiru, Hyde, Licht, Tsubaki

Summary: Licht was a noble angel. Mahiru was a penniless witch. Their lives were different but they both longed for freedom. After circumstances, they switched places and found freedom where they least expect it.

Note: On Poke’s crazy ideas train, she decided to make an AU based on The Princess and The Pauper.

(Ch.1) || Ch.2 || Ch.3 ||

“Lichtan, I know you’re in there! Unlock this door or else I’m going to break it open!” Hyde threatened and scowled at the door but he knew that it was pointless with how stubborn Licht was. He was Licht’s tutor but he felt more like an abused personal assistant sometimes. They butted heads more times than he could count because Licht was more interested in his piano than his duty as the future king.

“That’s it, I’m coming in!” He screamed when Licht refused to answer him and continued to play his piano. Hyde used his magic to unlock the door and pushed it open. Unfortunately, he was met with a wall of furniture blocking the door. Muttering countless curses, he forced his way through them and made his way to the angel in the center of the room.

“Licht Jekylland Todoroki, it’s time for your magic lesson! After that, we need to talk politics. Are you even listening to me?” Hyde groaned and rubbed his temple. “Angel Cakes, you’re going to be king soon so I need to teach you everything about your new duties. I can’t do that when you’re stuck at your piano.”

“What does a demon know about running a kingdom?” Licht scoffed but he stopped playing to face Hyde. “Let me play my piano in peace. I never asked to be a king and I certainly don’t want to be one!”

“Licht, you know this marriage is for your people and the kingdom.” He reminded him and Licht bit his lip. He couldn’t argue with what he said.

Licht was the second son of the king but he never expected the responsibility of being king to be thrust upon him. Earlier that year, his older brother had eloped with a common knight and left the kingdom reeling. No one knew where he was now. While his family was worried about their missing son, they also had a kingdom to provide for. The mines, the kingdom’s main trade, were in ruins after an attack.

In the aftermath, his parents decided that marrying Licht off for a dowry would be best. The marriage would also provide stability because his fiancé was the king of a wealthy, neighbouring country. But the union meant that Licht would have to give up the freedom he thrived in to become a ruler. He was never trained to be a king so he was scurrying to learn everything about his new role.

“I don’t want to waste a beautiful afternoon in one of your boring lessons. I’m already proficient with my wings and my piano. Those are the only two things I need.” Licht stood and strode onto the balcony. He stared up at the wide open sky and thought of all the places he hadn’t visited and the people he hadn’t played his piano for.

He had planned to leave his kingdom and explore the world on his twentieth birthday. That was only a few months away but he would soon be shackled to his castle. He loved his people and his kingdom but he also wanted his freedom. Caught between love, duty, and his dreams, Licht didn’t know what the right choice was. “I don’t want to marry a complete stranger.”

“Licht, I know this isn’t the future you wanted but think about your people.” Hyde moved to stand next to him. He had been his tutor for the past three years so he knew Licht well. “It won’t be that bad. Sleepy Ash likes music so he won’t forbid you from playing your piano. Arranged marriages are common and most of them end up happy. I’m sure you’ll learn to love him.”

“I’m already in love.” Licht whispered and there was a longing in his eyes that clawed at Hyde’s heart. It was rare for him to appear vulnerable. In all the years they’ve known each other, he never told him that he was in love with someone. The thought made him feel a little jealous.

“Do I know this person?” He asked.

“Idiot, I’m in love with this.” Licht climbed onto the balcony rail and gestured to the blue sky.

He balanced on the railing and let the wind wash over him. He unfolded his wings to let them breathe. A rare smile played on his lips. “I love the wind, the birds and playing my piano for the world. I can see it all in front of me and I can reach out my hand to them. But, if I marry Sleepy Ash, I’ll be trapped. I know it’s my duty but I wish I could’ve experienced the world more. I’ve never even been outside the castle…”

Hyde watched him silently. He did sympathize with Licht and he wondered if there was anything he could do to help him. An idea came to him but he didn’t know if Licht would agree to a kidnapping. He snapped his fingers and made a cloak appear over Licht’s head. While he was still struggling with the cloak, Hyde swept Licht off the balcony and into his arms.

“What are you doing, Shit Rat?” Licht screamed and pushed the cloak’s hood off his eyes to glare at Hyde. He held him securely against his chest as he went back into the room. He started to fight him but paused when Hyde walked to the dresser. His curiosity got the better of him and he waited to see what Hyde would do. With his feet, Hyde pushed aside the dresser and revealed a hidden door.

He had never seen the door before and he wondered if Hyde summoned it with his magic. Licht pushed at his shoulder and he was glad that Hyde gently placed him on his feet. He went to examine the door. He didn’t feel any magic around the door and wondered where it led. A key was dangled in front of him and he turned to see Hyde’s sly smile.

He placed a finger on Licht’s lips and whispered. “I’m sneaking you out so you need to be quiet. This is a secret passageway to outside the castle. Only the most trusted servants know of it in case we need to evacuate you quickly. No one ever told you because we know you’d use it to fly off. I’m willing to take you out for an afternoon of fun in the kingdom as long you promise that this stays between us.”

“Okay.” Licht reached out to take the key but Hyde stealthily wrapped his pinky around his. He pulled him closer and kissed his little finger with a grin. He chuckled at his bright blush and moved around him to unlock the door. He should’ve known better than to turn his back to Licht. The moment he opened the door, Licht kicked him through the passageway. “That was for kissing me without permission, Shit Rat.”

“I was only sealing our promise. That kiss had a spell to keep you from telling anyone about the door.” He groaned and rubbed his back. He closed the door behind them, pitching them into darkness. Despite the fact that it was hard to see ahead of them, he could hear Licht rushing forward and tripping on rocks occasionally. Hyde shook his head with a wry smile.

“Slow down, Lichtan, the kingdom isn’t going anywhere.” He knew that Licht was excited to leave the castle and he was running through the dark without thinking. When Licht would’ve tripped again, Hyde caught his arm. He summoned a small flame to help them see their way through the tunnel. Hyde led them through the underground maze using the marking on the walls.

They stopped in front of a stone wall and Hyde placed his ear against it. Once he was certain that it was safe, he opened the hidden door and gestured for Licht to follow him. Licht walked into a secluded alley and winced at the bright sun. He could hear the bustling marketplace outside the alley and bounded forward. His expression was like a child’s and Hyde chuckled at his enthusiasm.

“Just wait a minute, Lichtan.” Hyde wrapped his arm around his waist. He stepped in front of him and adjusted the robe around him more. “Your angel wings are beautiful but we need to hide them while we’re out here. We’ll cause a scene if the people knew that their prince and future king escaped the castle. You don’t want to return early, do you?”

“Fine,” Licht folded his wings behind him and hid them beneath his cloak. “Let’s go now!”

“I’m coming.” He followed him into the marketplace. Licht stopped at every stall to examine the wares for sale. While the castle held more luxury and exotic items, he was still fascinated with the simple plaza. Hyde loved watching his expression and curiosity as he asked him about the town.

Hyde bought a bouquet of dahlias from a vendor and handed it to Licht. “Lesson time, Lichtan. These are dahlias and its scientific name is dahlia pinnata. Flowers have a lot meaning. Even a single flower like a dahlia has multiple meanings but I think they fit you pretty well; elegance, inner strength, creativity, and dignity. They are also known to represent an everlasting bond so these flowers are used in wedding.”

Hyde took one of the flowers from the bouquet and tucked it behind his ear. Licht tilted his head at him but he didn’t take out the flower. Though, he did touch the dahlia in his dark hair and asked: “Why do I need to learn about flowers to be a king?”

“I think that it’s pretty useless too but figure heads are expected to know about these things. You don’t want to accidentally send an ally some roses that means love and cause a bunch of confusion. How about we talk politics next?” He held out his arm to Licht who placed his hand in the crook of his arm. Licht let him guide him through the street. He held the bouquet to his nose as he half listened to his lesson about taxes.

He heard a commotion behind him and Licht looked over his shoulder. The man running towards them shoved Licht aside and Hyde quickly steadied him before he could fall. Guards ran past them and from their yelling, he knew that the man must’ve been a bandit. Licht handed the flowers back to Hyde before he ran to chase the man as well. “Wait, Lichtan!”

His voice faded behind Licht as he ran after the man. Licht was an angel so he was compelled to catch the man to keep his people safe. He quickly passed the guards and he could see the bandit in front of him. He swore when the bandit scaled a wall and Licht struggled to follow him. Licht wished that he could’ve used his wings to fly but he remembered Hyde’s warning.

A black rope snaked out of the wall and wrapped around the bandit’s feet, keeping him in place. At first, Licht thought that it was Hyde’s magic so he was surprised when he saw a witch on a broom floating at the top of the wall instead. With a whispered spell, the witch forced the bandit to the ground by changing the gravity around them. He casted another spell and restrained the man with a rope.

The witch descended to the ground. He landed next to the bandit and took the bandit’s weapons. Once the man was unarmed, the witch turned to Licht. “We should stay with this thief and wait for the guards to catch up. My name’s Mahiru. I saw you chasing him and it looked like you needed help. Did he take anything from you? I’m guessing that was why you were chasing this man.”

“He didn’t steal from me but I had to bring him to justice. Why? It’s because I’m an angel.” Licht said proudly and made a pose. Mahiru didn’t know if he was joking or not but decided to shrug off his claims with a smile. “My name is Licht. That was an impressive gravity spell you casted. Are you traveling witch or do you have a shop in the village?”

“Well, neither. I’m working as an apprentice at Carp’s Potions and Spells. I practise my witchcraft as often as I can though.” He answered in a small voice. “I still have a lot of work to do before I can leave the shop. Then I can use my magic to help people. It has always been my dream to leave and use my magic for good instead of money. Just a few more years and I’ll be able to do that.”

“It seems like you already know some powerful spells. You can leave.”

“I wish leaving was so simple but I can’t abandon my friends there and I still need to pay off my debt to Carp. Anyways, it isn’t entirely bad. I’ve learned a lot of spells from his books.” Mahiru didn’t add that he would often be punished for reading the spell books without permission. But he loved magic and wanted to learn spells that could help people.

“What other spells can you use?” Licht asked excitedly and Mahiru decided to humour him. He waved his hand above his head and wrapped a shadow around himself. The shadow dispersed and Licht was staring at himself. He knew that Mahiru must’ve cast an imitation spell and he was astonished with the likeness. They only just met yet his magic was powerful enough to replicate his image.

“I know a lot of spells aside from illusion and creation spells.” Mahiru opened his hand and summoned a bunny made of ice. “Do you know how to use magic as well?”

Before Licht could answer, he heard someone call his name. He turned around and saw Hyde running towards them, out of breath. Hyde’s eyes widened when he saw the two and staggered. “There’s two now? One of you was already going to send me to an early grave, Lichtan.”

Licht kicked him for that comment and Hyde held up his hands in surrender. “Well, at least I know who the real one is now. Who’s your look alike friend? His spell is remarkable but it still needs work. The white strand in your hair is a little short and your eyes are a different shade of blue. Also, you look pretty calm while the real Licht here is ready to kick me again.”

“Because you’re being an insufferable demon!” Licht screamed and Hyde dodged his next attack. It surprised him that Hyde could point out minor differences between them that most wouldn’t notice. He watched the two men banter and then Mahiru laughed good naturedly.

“You two look like you get along well.” He commented and they, predictably, tried to deny that fact. Even if they said otherwise, Mahiru could tell that they were close. He heard the guards approach them and said, “I’ll stay and talk to the guards. They’ll most likely keep us here for hours with questions and you two probably want to enjoy your date.”

“I would never date this demon.” The bite his voice usually had was lost when Licht remembered that he didn’t have a choice in who he was with. He was engaged to a king he never met before.

“I think it’s time for us to go home, Lichtan. If the guards see us, your parents will know that we left the castle.” Hyde whispered into his ear and gently tugged on his hand. He pulled away and spoke to Mahiru. “Thank you. We’ll be leaving now.”

“The next time I’m able to sneak out, I’ll visit you at Carp’s shop! Bye, Mahiru.” Licht called to him as they walked away. Deep inside, he knew that it was unlikely that he would meet his new friend again.

“Now, remember you can’t tell anyone about today.” Hyde reminded him as he escorted Licht back to his room. It was late when they returned but they were able to evade the guards patrolling the halls. They stopped in front of his door and Hyde handed the bouquet to Licht. “This has to be my favourite lesson so far. It’s just too bad that we can’t do this more often.”

“I had a lot of fun today. Hyde, I…” Licht trailed off as he tried to decide what he wanted to say. In the end, he sighed. “Never mind. Goodnight.”

“Sweet dreams, Lil’ Angel.” Hyde whispered back to him and Licht entered his room. He closed the door, leaned against it and sank to the ground. He hugged the flowers to his chest and listened to Hyde’s footsteps disappear into the distance. A thousand different emotions turned his stomach and confused him but he couldn’t ignore them.

Hyde, I want you to stay by my side, was what Licht wanted to say. For years, he had wanted to say those words to him. He held himself back because he knew that he had to stay faithful to his engagement— an engagement he only accepted out of duty. He breathed in the sweet scent of the flowers and wondered what he should do next.

He heard something drumming softly on the glass door of his balcony and looked up. Licht saw a bird tapping on the glass and it was as if it was beckoning him to it. He stood with the flowers still in his arms and he walked to the balcony. He opened the door and the bird landed on his finger. “What is it, Mr. Bird? Do you want to come in and sing along with my piano?”

Licht tried to walk to his piano but he was jerked outside by thin, almost invisible stings. He realized that the bird must’ve tied them around his wrist and cursed. He dropped the flowers and tried to break free. “Hyde!”

His scream was cut off when someone’s hand clapped over his mouth. He strained out of the person’s grip but his body suddenly felt weak. Soon, he couldn’t fight anymore and lost consciousness.

The next morning, Hyde was looking over every detail for their guests’ arrival. Sleepy Ash’s advisors were scheduled to arrive that afternoon to finalize the arrangement. A week after that, the wedding ceremony would commence and then Licht would leave with Sleepy Ash. Licht would be gone from his life. Hyde feet slowed with that thought and he looked down at his list of duties.

He looked up when he heard a panic from Licht’s room. His heart stopped and he ran to the room. Hyde saw that his parents, their advisor, and a few guards crowded in the room. What worried him most was the fact that he didn’t see Licht inside. He pushed his way into the room and asked. “Did something happen to Licht? Is he hurt?”

“Hyde, do you know anything about this?” His mother broke away from the group and held out a letter to him. “I came to check on Licht but all I found was this letter. It says that he ran away because he doesn’t want to marry Sleepy Ash. I searched every room for him so please tell me you know where he is.”

“I don’t know…” His mind was racing as he read the letter. Hyde knew that Licht had reservation about the engagement but he didn’t think that he would run away.

The letter had his handwriting but something about the letter seemed wrong to him. He scanned the room and walked to the closet and threw it open. Nothing was missing and his brows furrowed. Licht wouldn’t leave without being prepared. While he was rash and reckless, he wasn’t stupid. If he didn’t run away, where was he? Then, he went to the balcony and saw the flowers he bought Licht scattered on the ground. There were other signs of a struggle. Had he been kidnapped?

“The advisors are arriving at noon. What are we going to do?” Tsubaki said, earning a glare from Hyde.

“You’re worried about the engagement when Licht’s missing? He could be hurt or lost. We need to send out a search party for him. I doubt he went far when he barely knows his way around the kingdom.” Hyde said. Tsubaki’s words laid heavy on his mind. The only reason one would kidnapped Licht would be to interfere with the wedding. “I think I know where he is. I’ll have him home by noon.”

Mahiru tapped his quill against his chin as he counted the inventory and then marked them on his scroll. He hopped off the small step ladder and stretched his arms. He winced a little because his sore body protested against every little movement he made. Carp worked him to the bone most days and he couldn’t remember the last time he was given a break.

“Are you okay, Mahiru? You’ve been working since dawn.” Sakuya said worriedly.

“I’m alright.” Mahiru forced himself to smile to reassure his friend. Sakuya and Tsurugi were the two small blessing he found in his exhausting work. They were his best friends and he wished that there was something he could do to help them but he was as trapped as they were. “Can you check on Tsurugi for me? I’ll finish up here by myself.”

Sakuya hesitated to leave but Mahiru pushed him out of the basement. “Are you sure that you’re fine on your own?”

“I’ve been working here longer than you Sakuya. The only thing I need you to do is make sure Tsurugi doesn’t throw up his medicine.” Mahiru was glad that Sakuya relented and walked up the stairs.

There was a commotion on the floor above him and a large thump caused dust to fall onto him. Mahiru swore beneath his breath and he threw open the basement window. It didn’t let a lot of fresh air into the room but it was better than nothing. He placed a box beneath the window so he could rest his head on the window sill. He breathed in the air and watched people walk by.

He saw a variety of people throughout the year; poor and rich. He saw the plait of everyone and he wanted to help them all. Every night, he would think of solutions to their problems. Mahiru knew that he would have to leave Carp’s magic shop first but he was trapped. When his parents died, they had a lot of debt to the wizard and it fell on Mahiru to pay it back. He worked for Carp ever since.

It started to rain and Mahiru went to close the window. A carriage caught his eyes as he did so. The wheel was broken and a man was struggling to fix it in the rain. He was quickly becoming soaked but nobody stopped to help him. Mahiru knew that he should return to his work but he also knew that he wouldn’t be able to concentrate if he left the man in the rain.

He jumped off the box but only so he could get an umbrella. Mahiru sneaked out of the shop, hoping that Carp wouldn’t catch him leaving. He opened his umbrella and quickly walked around the building to where he saw the man. He stood next to the man and held the umbrella over him. “Excuse me, do you need help?”

“I need to fix this stupid thing. I’m already late for my appointment.” The man groaned as he gestured to the wagon wheel. The wood was split and splintered so it would be difficult to mend it without supplies. Mahiru nudged him aside and handed him the umbrella with the order.

“Hold this for me while I fix the wheel for you. I know a spell that can reattach the broken pieces but it will take a moment for it to mend and set in place. But let me dry you first. If your appointment is important, you can’t arrive looking like a wet cat.” Mahiru ran his finger through the man’s ghostly, blue bangs and drew the raindrop from his hair and clothes. Then he made a warm breeze to help dry him further.

“My name’s Mahiru. Do you mind if I ask where you’re heading?” He asked. “I’ve lived here most of my life but I’ve never seen you before.”

“I’m from the neighbouring country. My name’s Kuro.” He took the hand Mahiru held out to him. Out of habit, Kuro kiss the back of his hand as he was trained to do from a young age. Mahiru knew that it was a customary greeting but he had to pull his hand back with a blush. “I came with the order to negotiate a stupid marriage contract.”

“I’ll make sure to fix this quickly so you can head to the castle then. That negotiation must be important.” Mahiru began to work on the wheel.

“Take your time and let me be lazy for a few more minutes. It’s not often that I get to relax.” Kuro leaned against the carriage and watched him fix the wheel. He caught Mahiru rolling his eyes before he placed his hands on his hips.

“Your king trusted you enough to send you to our kingdom with a very important task so don’t slack off. You don’t want to abuse that trust, do you?” He lectured him and Kuro couldn’t remember the last time someone chastised him. His tone was slightly amusing to him. Mahiru smiled after a moment and wiped his hands on his pants. “That should do it. Good luck on your job.”

“Thanks, Mahiru. Take this.” Kuro dropped a few gold coins into his hand. At first, Mahiru wanted to return the money because he helped him out of kindness and nothing else. Then he remembered his massive debt and knew that the coin could help buy his freedom. He was conflicted about taking the money and Kuro must’ve sensed that because he added. “I’m just paying a witch for his work so keep it.”

Being called a witch and having his work be acknowledge warmed Mahiru’s heart. He nodded and tucked the money into his pocket. He looked up at Kuro and noticed that his shoulder was wet. Kuro had held the umbrella over Mahiru more as he worked. While the gesture did touch Mahiru, he had to say, “I just dried you but here you wet again. Hold still.”

“Do you fret over every wet cat you find like this?” From Mahiru’s guilty smile, he knew that it must’ve been true. Kuro groaned but he stood still for Mahiru to cast another spell on him. He finished and Kuro thanked him against before entering the carriage. He watched the carriage leave.

Almost immediately afterwards, he felt someone take his witch hat and hit him with it. He turned around and swallowed his tongue when he was faced with Carp. “What are you doing?”

“I’m sorry, Sir.” Mahiru quickly apologized. He took back his hat and followed the old wizard back to the shop. He knew that there would be a lecture once they were inside and Carp would give him a slew of new chores. Even though he knew arguing wouldn’t help, Mahiru said: “I saw someone who needed help. I was only gone for ten minutes.”

“A customer came asking for you. You’re costing me money if you’re only playing at being a witch. Unless you stop wasting time, you’ll be working here for the next thirty years.” He roughly pushed Mahiru into the shop. “This entire situation is your parents’ fault. They shouldn’t have borrowed so much if they couldn’t pay me back.”

“They did it to feed me! Don’t you dare speak about my mother like that!” He couldn’t stop himself from yelling. He refused to flinch when the wizard raised his hand. Someone came between them, stopping the man. Mahiru was a little surprised to see that it was the man he met the previous day.

“A highly regarded establishment like this shouldn’t abuse their workers.” Hyde said slowly and a silent warning laced his voice. From the corner of his eyes, he saw how relieved Mahiru was. He wanted to help him but he had to focus on finding Licht. “I would like to hire your witch, Mahiru. Is there somewhere we can discuss the details in private.”

“We can talk in my room.” Mahiru gestured for him to follow him. He guided him up the stairs to a small room that was barely large enough for one person. He closed the door and he could see how serious Hyde was. Furthermore, he casted a spell around the room to keep their voices from leaving the room. “You said you wanted to hire me as a witch?”

“Licht is missing. Are you able to create a locator spell?” Hyde told him but Mahiru could tell that there was more he wanted to say.

“I know a spell that can find a person if they’re no further than 500km from their home. I only need his full name and something like a hair.” It was a difficult spell but other wizards or witches could perform it so Mahiru didn’t know why he came to him for help.

“Licht Jekylland Todoroki. I have one of his feathers.” Hyde took out the feather from his pocket and Mahiru’s was stunned. He did say he was an angel but Mahiru didn’t believe him. Licht was the future king of their country and he spoke so casually with him. The rest of Hyde’s words dawned on him. The king was missing.

“I’d love to help but shouldn’t you hire a more experienced witch for something so important?” Mahiru asked.

“There’s one more spell I want you to cast.” Hyde’s next request couldn’t be more impossible. “I want you to pretend to be Licht while I search for him. I suspect that someone kidnapped him to interfere with the wedding but I don’t have proof. The wedding will be cancelled if Licht isn’t there to greet Sleepy Ash’s advisors today. I’ve seen how well you can imitate Licht.”

“You’re asking me to impersonate royalty?” Mahiru sat down on his straw bed. “I can’t do that. If they discover me, I’ll be put to death. It’s simply impossible. An imitation spell is difficult to maintain for a long period of time. Aside from that, I don’t know a single thing about being a king.”

“Neither does Licht. He’s still studying and he’s a slow learner. I’ll give you a list of his mannerism for you to imitate too. It won’t take more than a day or two for me to find and rescue Licht. All you have to do is entertain the advisors. Please, Mahiru, the kingdom needs this marriage.” Hyde pleaded. “Licht and I will pay you for your work, no matter what the cost is.”

“There’s a lot at stake.” He thought of Licht in danger and felt compelled to help. He wouldn’t have hesitated if Hyde only asked him to perform a locator spell. Mahiru closed his eyes and debated what he should do. “If I do this, I want freedom in return. Not just for me but also for my friends, Sakuya and Tsurugi. The castle will repay the debt we owe.”

“I’ll pay whatever it takes to find Licht.”

Mahiru dropped the feather into the bowl with a few gems and twigs. He recited the spell and blended everything together until it took the form of a dove. He whistled and the bird came to life. “This little guy will take you to Licht. Please come back as quickly as you can.”

“I’ll be back by sunset tomorrow.” Hyde promised. He could see that Mahiru’s resolve was faltering now that he was inside the castle. They already spoke to his parents but Mahiru had been quiet the entire time. He said that it was because he was tired but he knew that excuse could only last so long. “Licht doesn’t bother with politics so you won’t have to discuss much at dinner. Just go directly back to this room.”

“Okay. I just wish that I had someone to help me so I won’t say the wrong thing.” Mahiru sighed.

“If all else fails, just say: ‘An angel doesn’t need to explain himself. I’m going back to my room to play my piano.’” Hyde ruffled his hair before he left. He pulled his cape around him and whistled for the bird to guide him. Mahiru watched him leave with a sigh.

Once he disappeared from sight, he collapsed onto the bed. It was softer than anything he had experienced before but it only punctuate his situation more. What was he thinking when he agreed to Hyde’s outrageous plan? He thought of his friends and, even if it was near impossible, this was their best chance of leaving that shop. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be discovered before Licht returned.

There was a knock on his door and Mahiru stiffened. He forced himself off the bed and went to the door. He stopped at the mirror first and he didn’t recognize himself in the mirror. Mahiru took a deep breath and opened the door. A man with dark hair and red eyes stood on the other side so Mahiru did his best to look intimidating. “I thought I said I didn’t want to be disturbed.”

“Your mother sent me to escort you to dinner.” Tsubaki told him.

“Oh, I’m sorry for being so rude when you were only doing your duty. Thank you for coming all this way.” Mahiru said with a kind smile, forgetting that he had to act like Licht. He walked next to Tsubaki and tried to think of something to say so they wouldn’t have to walk in silence. “What are we having tonight? I can smell something wonderful. I haven’t been able to eat today.”

“Where did you disappear that you couldn’t eat? How were you able to leave the castle without anyone seeing you?” Tsubaki asked and Mahiru’s eyes dropped to the ground as he searched for an answer. He had rehearsed the story many times but he was never a good actor. He could feel Tsubaki’s gaze bore into him as if he knew the truth.

“Licht!” At first, Mahiru didn’t remember to answer to the name. Then a woman hugged him unexpectedly and Mahiru awkwardly hugged her back when he realized that it was Licht’s mother. It felt a little strange but Mahiru thought of his own mother. “I was worried that you would want to eat in your room alone after everything that happened.”

“Why would I miss a dinner with my family?” He said.

Even though he felt a little nervous, Mahiru walked into the dinning room. Most of the guests were already seated and his eyes fell on someone. He recognized Kuro, the person he helped earlier that day, sitting at the table. Seeing someone familiar, he sat next to Kuro and not Licht’s usual seat. But Mahiru made sure to place a napkin on his lap and appear dignified.

“Thank you for waiting, everyone.” He said and then beamed a nervous smile. “Please enjoy your meal. I’m certain the cook worked hard to make it.”

Everyone was silent and Mahiru wondered if he said something wrong. He bit his lip and hoped that no one suspected him yet. Mahiru decided that it would be best if he tried not to overthink things and ate his food in silence. While the nobles and advisors spoke among themselves, none of them asked him anything. That was a relief to Mahiru until the topic shifted to the wedding. They were discussing his marriage as if he wasn’t sitting in front of them and it felt as if he were some cattle being sold.

Mahiru was pushing his food around his plate when he heard one of the advisors’ comment. “I say the solution to the fruit bats destroying the fruit farm is to exterminate them all. We should burn down the trees they live in and force them to relocate.

“You can’t do something so short sighted.” Mahiru said and then covered his mouth. Everyone’s eyes were on him and he lost his confidence for a moment. He continued in a small voice. “Firstly, we can’t afford to cut down fruit trees and lose another source of income. Secondly, fruit bats do have their benefits. They eat smaller pests and they don’t eat seeds so the seeds they leave behind—”

“And what would you suggest we do? Let them destroy our fruit trees?” The man shot back and everyone expected Licht to attack the man for interrupting him.

Mahiru leveled his gaze with him and his back straightened. “I read of a containment spell that could be of use. We set aside some of the fruit trees and place the bats in there. If we regulate them, they won’t be a problem. A bat sanctuary will provide more jobs for our people and the seeds they collect will become a source of income. It’ll take a while for it to make a profit though.”

People continued to gawk at him and he wanted nothing more than to leave. He quickly stood and screamed, “I know this is the best action. Why? Because I am an angel.”

Mahiru did his best to imitate the pose he saw Licht make the day before. He never felt so embarrassed in his life and sank into his seat. Next to him, he heard Kuro chuckle softly. The entire dinner, he had been silent but now he was more expressive. Kuro leaned forward and there was a hint of a smile on his lips. “If the issue is resolved now, lets discuss something else. Sleepy Ash is going to arrive in a week but if Licht has reservation about him…”

“I came back because I realized that I was wrong to run from my duties. I’ll marry the king.” Mahiru reassured him. “Being outside the castle and seeing how much people need help, I can’t run away.”

“Then the marriage shall continue as planned,” Tsubaki said into his cup with an icy smile. He had been watching Licht for a while now. “Licht, how about you play a song for us? We haven’t heard you play since you returned. Shouldn’t you play for our guest so they know how talented you are?”

“I… I…” Mahiru’s eyes darted from the piano to the guests. He couldn’t play the piano. He never so much as touched a piano before! Of all the spells he knew, not one let him play the piano. But, with everyone watching him, he felt compelled to tread to the piano. He sat down and placed his fingers over the keys. They were trembling slightly and Mahiru said shakily, “I don’t know what to play.”

“The music sheets are right in front of you.” Tsubaki pointed out and Mahiru looked at them as if they were a foreign language. They might as well be. Mahiru pressed a random key repeatedly, hoping that he could think of a spell to help him.

A hand lightly rested over his and gentle guided his fingers through the motions. He looked over his shoulder and saw that Kuro was standing behind him, helping him play. Kuro let go of his hand and sat next to him on the piano bench. “I’ll play for you. You look too tired to play the piano.”

“Thank you, Kuro.” Mahiru relaxed and smiled at him. He didn’t want to return to the dinner table so he stayed seated next to Kuro and listened to him play.

Man, this is looooooong. I knew I would only be able to make one chapter of this so I tried to cram all of my ideas into it xD

#servamp #kuromahi #lawlicht #mahiru shirota #licht jekylland todoroki #servamp kuro #servamp hyde #fanfiction #'you cant make an au of this shit' bae said #poke accepted the challenge #no idea is too crazy and stupid

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awkwardshanandagins · 6 years

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Well, shit, there goes my vision...

One step forward and two steps back. If you were to ask me to sum up my fertility journey in one sentence, that’s what how I would describe it. At least

up until this point. Every time we take a step in the right direction, the universe shoves me backwards. This past week it feels more like 300 steps backwards.

In May of this year, I had my second laparoscopy on my baby maker. I also had a procedure done called “ovarian drilling.” Sounds terrible, right? I figured while they were in there they might as well fuck shit up as much as possible. No but really, it’s about as bad it sounds. It’s a procedure in which they burn little holes into your ovaries. From what our fertility doc told us, this isn’t a commonly used practice but has been shown to help lower testosterone production and help with fertility but only temporarily. My understanding from the little bit I read about it is that us ladies with PCOS develop a hard outer shell around our ovaries in which burning the holes helps break that up. Somehow that hard outer shell makes it even more difficult for women with PCOS to get pregnant. Don’t quote me on this, I’m not a doctor, obviously. Well hopefully my hard outer shell is nice and shattered. I’ll stop using that term now, it’s only making me think of those little easter egg candies that are solid chocolate and have the hard outer shell. My favorite!!! Anyways, not the point.

Now that I’ve probably turned you off those easter egg candies forever, or at least gave you the gift of envisioning my ovaries while eating them, I’ll get back to my what I was saying.

Our plan was to have that surgery and attempt IUI, which is insemination (practically the turkey-baster method), once my doctor gave me the okay, unless we changed our minds to IVF which was quickly happening. My OBGYN is a kind older gentleman who takes his sweet, sweet time doing absolutely everything but I deal with the slowness because he’s the only one I’ve found who listens. As I’m sure so many already know, finding the right doctors is essential but usually super complicated. He told me I’d be good to start trying IUI at six weeks out from surgery. He suggested that once he “does his thing,” the fertility doc quickly start his part of this lovely process.

Depending on who you talk to you’ll get different information on whether laparoscopy actually improves fertility. My OBGYN is certain it will help my chances while my fertility doctor said it will have absolutely no effect whatsoever. My fertility doc actually suggested I don’t have the surgery at all and just go straight to IVF. He said the only reason to get a laparoscopy these days is for pain. Honestly, that was my main concern at this point anyways. I couldn’t go through the next several months of fertility treatments with the pain the endo has caused so I was going ahead with the surgery no matter what he said. This is when he suggested the ovarian drilling. He told me it was an easy procedure and I might as well have it done while my OBGYN is already in there burning the crap out of my insides (my words, not his). He said doing the drilling might give me better success with IUI if that was the route I was choosing.

So flash forward a few weeks and here we are. I see my OBGYN in two days to make sure everything is healed okay. If so, I’d be able to start the process for IUI or IVF. We were getting SO excited thinking within the next couple months we could finally be pregnant after 5+ years of trying. Of course, we know our chances with IUI are about that of a person with no fertility problems getting pregnant any given month but hey that’s a better chance than we’ve ever had before! Plus, we’re not ready to jump straight to IVF. I mean, dear lord have you seen how much that costs?!?!?! I f you aren’t to that point yet, I don’t mean to scare you but holy hell our babies are going to be expensive, ladies!! Also, what if we skip right to IVF and it doesn’t work? That’s our last resort. We have no other option at that point. If IVF doesn’t work, I won’t be carrying our child and that scares the shit out of me. So, we just aren’t there yet. We’ll take our chances on IUI and pray God will come through.

It’s funny how fast things can change. Here we are looking forward to FINALLY starting the process of HOPEFULLY getting pregnant and whammy, life kicks us in the balls.

I was at work last Wednesday, June 21st, just doing my thing, looking forward to a new promotion coming my way (a story for another day) when my vision changed suddenly. You know when you look at the sun for too long and you lose vision and see bright spots? That’s what happened, kind of. I started seeing funny out of my left eye, out of nowhere. One second I could see and the next second I couldn’t. I could see with both eyes open but when I closed my right eye whatever I looked at with my left eye disappeared. I was just missing a chunk of my vision. I could kind of make out things in my peripherals but anytime I would move my focus the dark orb would follow and envelop anything I was trying to look at.

I thought maybe I just looked out my window at the brightness a little too long so I gave it a few minutes to see if it would come back. I don’t even know if that’s a thing, but that was my first thought. It didn’t come back. I spoke to a coworker who told me about her ocular migraines and how what I was experiencing sounded similar to what she experiences. I took some advil thinking it would help this ocular migraine I was probably having and decided to wait it out. She told me for the 20 years she’s had them, they never last more than an hour. Great! I was already over an hour of not seeing but everyone’s different so I assumed it would pass quickly.

I’m a worrier. I make situations in my mind worse than they usually are. Probably from my fear of death which stems from losing my brother at such a young age, but we can psychoanalyze me later. First thought, tumor! I don’t know why, but tumor is my go-to. Weird ringing in my ear? Tumor. Headache? Tumor. Pinky toe hurts? Tumor!!! You see where I’m going with this. My other coworker, who was familiar with my tumor paranoia, assured me it was not a tumor and just a migraine. Deep down, I knew it was only a migraine, but who doesn’t like to be dramatic to spice things up in a boring office job?

It had been at least two hours with no vision so I thought I should make an appointment just in case. I’d rather know for sure it is an ocular migraine to bring my crazy brain some peace of mind. They could fit me in at 3:15 that day. It was only 11:00. Cool, four more hours I could sit around and panic. Just what a Wednesday needs! I sent my boss an email letting her know what was going on. At this point, I was certain she was sick of my shit. I had only been back a week and a half from my two week leave for surgery which I had not planned. Another story for a different time. I missed a lot of work with PCOS and endo (and always feeling like crap but never knowing why) and as understanding as she was, I knew she was probably thinking “dear lord Shanda, what is it this time?”

In talking to my coworker about my almost definite tumor, I remembered my mom had lost her vision in one eye quite a few years back, due to a blood clot. Oh cool, even better, now I have a blood clot on top of my tumor. I called my mom and she told me she had Central Retinal Artery Occlusion. Basically, she had a blood clot that burst and took her vision with it. This happened when she was 40 and she was now 65. Her doctor told her she was incredibly young to have that happen to her as it usually only occurs in people who are 60 or older. The good part, she had no pain. The bad part? Vision loss is permanent. That same coworker heard me on the phone talking (probably closer to shrieking) about a blood clot and IM’d me saying “you’re good.” Thank goodness for her. She keeps me grounded when I spiral out about all my tumors. She was overly confident it was just a migraine.

I got to the eye doctor and they immediately dilated my left eye so I’d be ready for the doctor by the time he was ready for me. My pupils are already huge, which every eye doctor always comments on like it’s some sort of weird compliment. Thank you, I grew them myself! So, when my eyes are dilated, they get enormous. I look like some sort of weird anime character. This time I looked like a weird anime character on drugs since it was only one pupil. It was fun staring at people in the waiting room, winking at them, making them uncomfortable.

When I met with the doctor, he said he originally thought from my symptoms that it was an ocular migraine. Ocular migraines do not last more than two hours usually so he was concerned it was something else. My retinas were still attached which was great news! That was actually my real fear since I’ve always been told I’m at high risk for retinal detachment which can cause permanent vision loss.

After all the tests, he mentioned it was apparent I was missing a big chunk of my vision in my left eye. Thank you, Dr. Obvious. He couldn’t see behind my eye to figure out the problem but expected it to be a Central Retinal Artery Occlusion. I had already forgotten the term from my mom telling it to me earlier. He explained it’s a blood clot and can cause permanent damage. He was referring me to a retina specialist. He told me before I left that if I wake up the next morning and could see, he would assume it was a retinal migraine. Still, he said, retinal migraines normally don’t last over 2 hours but anything is possible. I had hope! I was sure I’d see that next morning.

I tried so hard not to cry in front of him. I’m sure he saw the tears welting up in my eyes so I hurried out. While paying, I realized this was not covered by my eye “insurance” because it was considered medical and I should have gone to Kaiser. Wish they would tell you this shit up front! I had them fax my paperwork to Kaiser which led to a whole other mess of problems.

As soon as I got in the car, I lost it. The thought of permanently losing vision in one eye is awful. I realize things could be so much worse, but still, it felt like a huge loss. I called my husband on the way home and told him through my ugly crying that it might be permanent. In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have been driving with one eye, crying and talking on the phone. Have no fear! I am an excellent driver and hurt no one that day.

I talked to my mom later that night and asked her again what she had happen to her eye since I couldn’t remember all these damn words. I told her what they thought it was and that I was supposed to see a specialist the following day. She insisted on driving me. Probably a good call.

I wanted to try to go to work that next day so I didn’t piss off my boss but I woke up around 1:45 a.m. and my heart jumped because I remembered the doctor said if I “wake up and can see” it was just a migraine. I shot open my eyes like a creepy horror flick scene and realized I still could not see. I had a total meltdown. My poor husband, trying to sleep, and there I am shaking the whole bed from my convulsion like crying. I didn’t go back to sleep that night. I laid there feeling sorry for myself and grieving my vision loss as I was sure it was never coming back. I called and left a message for my boss that I wouldn’t be in. I didn’t care anymore at that point. I was sad and scared, mostly exhausted, but I just didn’t care if she was mad.

I impatiently waited for 8:30 when the optometrist’s office opened at Kaiser. They said they’d call me first thing in the morning after the eye doctor faxed the paperwork. They didn’t. Of course they didn’t. Why would they? I hate medical offices. They just dilly dally around as if nothing is ever a big deal. This is a big deal! This is a huge fucking deal to me! This affects the rest of my life. I called at 8:40. They didn’t have the paperwork. I immediately called the other doctor who said they already faxed it the night before but would do it again. Why do all doctor’s offices have to function this way? I have not met one person who has ever thought “easy breezy” is a good way to explain their experience with doctor’s offices.

About 30 minutes later I get a call from Kaiser. It was a young woman on the other end. She sounded sweet and innocent almost like a child, but boy did I want to punch that child once we hung up. She said the person who needed to review my file before letting me see a doctor would be in the next day and would contact me. She assured me she was quick and would call me early. Oh thank you, you little asshole! I’ll just sit here another day, without vision, possibly dying from a tumor, and wait for the “fast” lady to review my file. “NO.” I think I shocked her. How did this seem okay in her child like brain? Sudden loss or change of vision is considered an emergency and now they want to make me wait another day. How fucking dare they! They don’t know who they’re messing with, I will scream cry in all their stupid faces. She said there was someone else who could review my file. Why she didn’t just do that in the first place baffles me but it must be that child-like brain of hers that hasn’t fully developed. She calls me back and says I have to get all the same tests I already had done the night before since that doctor’s notes were “vague.” She wouldn’t let me see a specialist because “that’s the doctor’s recommendation ma’am.” I swear to God if it was possible, I would have reached through that phone and throat chopped the shit out of her. Fine. It’s better to see someone than no one at all. The appointment wasn’t until that afternoon. Fun! Another full day of sitting around obsessing about the tumor that was most assuredly taking over my brain.

I called my mom, ugly crying yet again. As you can tell, I was dealing with things very well. She told me she’d still pick me up and take me to that appointment and suggested for me to try to get some rest. Yeah right. A little later, my sister-in-law called me. She’s been a nurse for that past 7+ years. She validated my concerns. She told me this was an emergency and if Kaiser wouldn’t let me see a specialist, she was taking me to the ER. I HATE the ER! They make you sit and wait forever with people coughing and snotting all over themselves and then they just tell you to follow up with your doctor anyways. I told her I would have my mom take me to urgent care.

My mom called me a little later and told me she got in touch with my uncle who is pretty high up in Kaiser. He was angry they were not treating this as an emergency and told her to take me to urgent care. He also got me in touch with the head of the whole damn department who finally ended up getting me in with a specialist. It’s all about who you know. This whole ordeal took hours and I had to call the freaking head of the department in Washington D.C. just to get a damn appointment! Fuck you very much Kaiser.

I saw Dr. Miller that afternoon who, right off the bat, assured me it was very unlikely I had a Central Retinal Artery Occlusion. After all of the testing he informed me he thought I had what is called Optic Neuritis which is where the optic nerve connecting your eye to your brain becomes inflamed and obstructs your vision. Good news is, it’s likely my vision will return in 6-8 weeks. He said he could also treat me with a heavy dose of steroids which would help my vision come back sooner, but the steroids come with a lot of side effects. The last thing my moody-self needs is roid-rage. I felt a heavy weight lifted from my chest. I would get my vision back!!!!! He told me he wanted me to get a MRI just to be sure. The appointment was about over but I figured I’d throw one last question into the mix. How does optic neuritis happen? Does the nerve just randomly inflame? It’s almost as if he was trying to avoid giving me this information. He told me not to worry right up front. Smart! Every time you start a sentence with “don’t worry…BUT,” you know the person is going into full blown panic. Optic neuritis is the first sign of Multiple Sclerosis. The MRI would be able to show if I have lesions on my brain which would indicate MS. He said there’s a chance I don’t have MS but could develop it over time or I could already have it. “Try not to worry.” Sure. You just told a person who always resorts to worst case scenario that she has MS, but I’m sure worry is the last thing she’ll do. Pffft.

My family was all relieved until I threw in the fun news about possible MS. My sister and mom both tried to make me promise not to Google anything until I had the MRI and got the results. Ha! Yeah okay, like that’s going to work. I am a professional Web-MD’er. My mom took me home and I ugly cried one more time.

I waited maybe an hour before I was on Google frantically looking up MS. I’ve always heard the term but never really knew much about the disease. Going through the symptoms was like looking at a description of me the past few years. Everything was making sense. This was me! I already diagnosed myself with MS. I looked over at my husband who had been intently staring at his phone for awhile. He looked up and said “this is you.” I texted my sister to let her know I had in fact Googled the shit out of MS only to find out, she did too. She texted back and said “I think you’ve had this for years.” Eventually, my mom texted and agreed, this all sounded like what I had been dealing with for years.

It feels like in a matter of seconds, my life changed. I know I had no diagnosis yet and there was a very real chance I didn’t have MS, but I was convinced I did. I had to schedule my MRI for the following week on Tuesday. It was only Thursday. What a fun weekend I was going to have! There is no way I wouldn’t worry about something like this even though my doctor told me not to. I thought about it all weekend. I called in Friday as well and cried and Googled all day. Like I said, I was really dealing with this well. I wanted to prepare myself for what I was certain was coming my way.

The good news about MS is it’s completely manageable. I got to a point over the weekend where I was at peace with the idea of having it. At least I would finally have an answer to why I’ve felt like shit for so long. It would assure me that I have not been crazy this whole time and I’m not just a hypochondriac as my family would always joke about. Going to the doctor and constantly being told nothing is wrong with you really has a way of making you look and feel like a crazy person. MS would take that away. I wasn’t a crazy person, I was a person with MS. Not only am I a person with MS, I’m also a person with PCOS and endometriosis. Sheesh, that’s a lot on a body. No wonder I felt like crap all the time. There was nothing for me to do at this point but sit and wait.

I have been an emotional wreck since last Wednesday night. My moods are crazier than ever and I’ve cried so much I really don’t know how there is any fluid left in my body. Tuesday, my husband took me to get the MRI. Thank God I had my doctor prescribe me some anxiety meds. MRIs are really not that much fun. The first ten minutes were the worst. I had the most irrational fear while I was in there. I’m back to thinking I’m a crazy person. I was worried some sort of disaster was occurring while I was in the machine and the lady doing my MRI was no longer there. She left me in this machine which would never stop running and I would be stuck in forever! I thought my head was strapped down and I was certain there was no way for me to escape. She had put a wash cloth over my eyes so I wouldn’t be able to look around and panic, which was helpful, but I also now could not plan my escape route, if in fact the zombie apocalypse was occurring at that exact moment. Luckily, she pulled me out to put dye in my IV. I told her I was worried about being stuck and she informed me I could just wiggle my way out of the machine. I’m so dumb sometimes. Where do I come up with these crazy scenarios? The second half of the MRI was fine. I actually relaxed and let the vibrations soothe me a bit.

Now comes the worst part, waiting. She said my doctor would get the results in 3-5 days! It feels like an eternity and I’m now only on day two. I’m trying to keep my mind and body busy while I wait but have I told you how amazing I am at multitasking? I can be busy and STILL think about all this crap. As of yesterday afternoon, I have even more time on my hands to obsess. My boss sat me down yesterday morning and convinced me to take some time off. She’s seen me around work, tripping, running into walls, crying and just looking like complete death. She knows I’ve been struggling and that I feel terrible both physically and mentally, it’s really not that hard to see. My eyes are sunken and almost always filled with tears and I just stumble around like a drunk person bashing into things and knocking everything over. It’s actually a little complicated to get used to only one eye. I was a clumsy disaster before losing my vision, it has only intensified.

I am thankful she talked me into taking time off. It was something I knew I needed but I wasn’t willing to admit. I’ve always worked really hard at my job and I take pride in my accomplishments. Admitting that I wasn’t up to the task was almost physically painful for me. I know God had a role in this. He saw I needed a break and that I wouldn’t do it myself so he forced me into it. My boss would not have taken no for an answer. Back to FMLA, hopefully. I’m still waiting to hear if it’s approved and I just recently applied for short term disability. This is all very surreal. This is not how I saw my 30th birthday going. Oh did I mention, my birthday was a month and half ago? It’s been awesome. So far I’ve gone to the ER in New Orleans, had surgery, was forced into taking more time off than I expected to, lost my vision in my right eye and now might have MS. Solid start to my thirties.

I have to say, through all of this, I have been extremely blessed. I have the absolute best support system anyone could wish for. My family is amazing. My husband, my parents, my sister…they’ve all been there for me every step of the way. They’ll let me cry on the phone and bitch for as long as I need. They reassure me and lift my spirits consistently. My sister-in-law has been so supportive as well as my close friends. We all need support at certain times in our lives. This is that time in my life.

Needless to say, IUI/IVF has been put on hold. As devastating as it is, there is no way my body can carry a baby right now. So many things are still unknown. We will get there someday. We are determined to have a child and I cannot wait to hold my baby in my arms. Until then, we will wait as patiently as possible and continue to pray.

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