#the idea of women being essentially children with the bodies of adult is something that's age-old

[uncanny-tranny]

This might be a half-baked theory, but I wonder how much of the "think of the children!!" ideals that are almost... aimed at women rely on the idea of women as Forever Children.

What I notice is that a lot of these ideas of corruption in youth are feminized in a way that evokes motherhood, but I also notice that many people blur the lines between women or anybody forced into or expected to be women and children so that they are as one.

#politics #feminism #the idea of women being essentially children with the bodies of adult is something that's age-old #but i notice it still as something that's... subtler sometimes #such as the 'think of the children!' for the ~case~ of trans people existing i sometimes notice that people... #...subtly start including women in that 'think of the children!!!!!!!' line and it makes me wonder... #...if people see women and children as functionally the same... #again maybe this is half-baked or i think too much about this but. hm. yknow. #alright i guess... back to doing my crochet project and playing video games instead of studying 👍

[practicalmagicintuitions]

Yes, they were making fun of a child (in their family) who chose to be who they really are. Talking about a minor’s genitals and making fun of their body, saying it would be such an inconvenience if they would have a child like that. They also mentioned that if their own child were gay, they’d want nothing to do with it and they also mention this in front of their child. So imagine if this child is indeed gay (or wishes they were another gender), they are growing up hating themselves because of their hateful parents.

Tbh, Americans are in a whole different category, to me they are lost causes. In Europe I don’t feel like people are going “overboard” with the social awareness. A lot of dickheads use the word “woke” as a pejorative, it says more about them than about anything else. People should be considerate of one another, something that seems to have gone lost the last few years, especially after Covid, they lost their empathy by being stuck at home and being confronted with themselves I guess, instead of using it as an opportunity to grow.

If someone wants to be addressed in a certain way, then I will do that, it doesn’t make a difference for me, but it does for them.

If a transwoman wants to use a dressing room for women, that doesn’t mean they are going to assault anyone. Are there men who will want to take advantage of this and pretend to be trans? It is a possibility. But that problem lies in the fact that we live in a society where men are not being raised right and women are raised in fear.

We shouldn’t punish all trans people, because there are some non-trans people who will try to take advantage of it.

First of all I 100% agree with you on that example, it is horrible. No one should do that, or say that especially in front of kids. But I have to disclose since I have a real interest in this topic and listening and reading about it a lot, I don't support child transitioning. If you heard testimony of detransitioners they were basically groomed and brainwashed by adults and let down by the system. There is less harm in waiting for 18 years or more than realising your body, your mind, and your potential life was mutilated and taken away from you just because you were a kid and because of that, you were an easy target. I do not believe in BS like "if we are praying hard enough or son will be straight" no. But denying our kids blindly or letting them do anything blindly is the same side of the wrong coin. In one case the parent is not supportive enough and the other is too supportive (it's a thing like toxic positivity). When I read something like "child who chose to be who they really are" sorry but I feel this is the laziest, most simplified argument ever and I just cannot stop rolling my eyes. Children are children for a reason. Mainly because they don't know who they are yet. If a child at age 3-4-5 etc can decide about their gender without any challenge from a parent and authorities why don't we let 6 years old to vote? Drink? Why don't we give them guns, and send them to wars? What if a child says he wants to be a firefighter? You will let him run into a burning building? Or he is saying he is Superman and can fly. Would you let him jump off the 35th floor? I hope not. Have you seen the video about a cute little girl trying a lemon for the first time? She says no and makes faces but cannot stop eating and licking it. She says one thing and at the exact same time, she does the exact opposite. Because she is a child. Parent-children dynamic is important. Why do modern parents think that hierarchy means they are bad, abusive parents? Actually, it means the opposite. With boundaries and rules, you give your child the feeling of safety and a controlled safe place they can exist. And this space is going bigger and bigger with age. That's why being a teenager was so significant in the past.

America is an essential factor simply because almost every viral idea comes from there. The English language can transform other languages easily especially since the internet and SM, so the things happening there will happen in other parts of the world sooner or later. Maybe not in the same form and not every idea but some. That's why I was shocked that they banned abortion in many states. This is something that I am afraid of will spread all around Europe. I mean we already have counties like Poland where is almost impossible to get an abortion and they are letting women die. And since many people still think America is the land where everything is right, if they rule something it must be the correct decision, right... ?

Woke as a word is interesting because I indeed use it as a negative. Why? Because most people I see and call themselves woke are radicals and I don't support radicalism. And as I witnessed they are the one who has zero understanding and acceptance if someone is thinking a bit differently. This doesn't make me a dickhead because I am the one here who is trying to maintain a balanced conversation without name-calling. This is also something that woke people don't like to do as I experienced.

"But that problem lies in the fact that we live in a society where men are not being raised right and women are raised in fear."

This is a very interesting point, but this is just a half-truth. So based on this (that women are living in fear of men) where do you put trans women? Because they are biologically and genetically men. No matter what. Logically speaking. Or do you think if an adult man declares himself a woman he automatically falls off from the "men who are threatening" category? I like to see this argument being presented in female prisons where somehow magically rapes and pregnancies are happening. And what about same-sex couples? Do you know that every single study says in same-sex relationships domestic violence is higher than in heterosexual ones? So what about an abusive lesbian relationship where there is no man involved? Or what about an abusive gay relationship where no woman is involved? And if we are saying men are not being raised right, do you realise many of those men have a mother too? So if they are not being raised right is a shared responsibility between a man and a woman, between a father and mother. Or I don't understand who you refer to, who did a bad job raising those abusive men? Fathers only? Yes in some cases definitely, but in some cases mothers are acting as if their sons were god who can do anything. I am sorry but I don't believe in the man bad women good thinking. We are humans with incredible flaws.

The key to this argument is where do we draw the line to protect biological and trans people from impostors? Because women are facing a very new fear of men right now. When men are getting awards for being a better women than a woman. When they are letting is sports, when people demanding not to use the word mother and refer yourself birthing people etc. This is damaging biological women and girls. Their opportunities and mental health. Why their mental health doesn't concern anyone? Why do they have to give up their dreams silently and in fear of being labelled this and that just because someone wasn't good enough in a men's race or being offended by some words?

When a phoney like DM is threatening women in many ways he is also damaging the trans community. Those people make it harder for everyone and silently make people stop supporting the majority of trans people who just want to live their lives. I am sure when most people like me raise voices and concerns they are not talking about the adult trans people who just want to live their lives. For me, it's about leaving children out of it and understanding and accepting that even though they are now living as a woman, biology doesn't change, so they simply cannot be female swimmers at age 20 after having been a mediocre male swimmer for 19 years. Or saying no way when a man who is very proud to be a woman for a whole week starts to order biological women to do and not to do or say things. And interestingly, if you read deeply in comments and opinion peaces most trans people totally aware of this and concerned by this as well.

"We shouldn’t punish all trans people, because there are some non-trans people who will try to take advantage of it."

That is the point, besides some radicals, NO ONE want's to punish trans people. Saying some facts is not punishing. Asking for fair treatment in areas where male-female strength is a factor is not a punishment. People are not opposed to trans, people are opposed to the very dominant, mentally ill people like DM or the other one I don't know his name, whose fans basically harassed and sent death threats to a mom on youtube. Those people are hurting everyone, using real people's trauma for shortcuts. And because they are influential, getting the screen time, the big money, they are influencing the conversation about this. And people raise their voices because of this. Not because someone simply wants to live as a woman. But because they are involving children, silencing young women and moms, etc.

I really recommend this video and the comments. Maybe if a gay black man says his opinion this will mean something...

[amandabonvicinopho101]

Alessandra Sanguinetti is an American photographer whose first main body of work is titled, The Adventures of Guille and Belinda, and Enigmatic Meaning of Their Dreams. This work is very influential in the way that they follow the journey of two female cousins that are living in rural Argentina as they grow from childhood to womanhood. All the photos in these collections are raw and real. They were taken over the course of 5 years, starting when they are the ages 9 and 10. Another very important body of work that was published by Alessandra is titled the passing of time. In this project, Alessandra takes photos of her childhood home to view the way time has affected it. It includes elements of her own childhood from her adult lens. She includes family members who have aged and sentimental objects that were meaningful to her or an essential part of her life when growing up. Both works document the way that time changes the lives of individuals. In the first body of work, you watch two girls grow through time, and become women. In the second body of work, you see a more personalized view of the effects of time and aging that occur in ones surrounding when growing up. Both were taken in rural Argentina, which sheds even more light on the lives of the young women who live and grow up there. Although similar, these works are very different in their compositions and creative processes as well. The timing, the settings, and the colors are all examples of these differences.

           The Adventures of Guille and Belinda and Enigmatic Meaning of Their Dreams are photographs taken over a course of five years in rural Argentina, beginning in 1990 and being originally published in 2010. All these photos capture these two young girls together growing up. Some have them dressing up in clothes, wearing pearls or big dresses. (figure 1) Some of them they are playing together, laughing together, and sitting together. Eventually, we see them as adults, pregnant, or holding their new baby together. These are taken outside which captures the environment of the place that they lived and grew up in. For example, in one photo, one of the girls is sitting in a wooden bathtub outside with a hose as her grandmother washes her hair. (1.2) What is important about these photos is not only does it capture the way the two young girls grow up in rural Argentina but also captures little bits and pieces of the place that they are growing up in. It differs a lot from the way that some children grow up here in America. Another thing that I feel is so important is how happy they look in some pictures and how unhappy they look in others. Especially the ones from when they were younger. There are two photos where these two girls are standing next to each other and laughing (figure 1.3) A few photos later, one of the girls is crying and looking so upset and distraught over something while the other is just looking over at her. It captured such a special moment between two young girls and the special bond that exists between them as well. However, it also captured a lot of their differences. In some photos they look different, they seem to like different things or act differently, or they are growing up differently. This is also a very important thing to recognize throughout this body of work and the way that it represents growing up as a young girl in Argentina.  This I feel enhances the creative process. As for the technical aspect, A lot of the photos were taken outside. You can see the wind blowing from the movement of the girl's hair (figure 1.3) This gives me the idea that a faster shutter speed was used to capture the motion of the hair. A lot of the photos in this collection capture movement, raw emotions, and outside settings. This differs completely from Alessandra's next body of work, which we will be discussing next.

Her next project is titled Passing of Time. This consists of a series of photos that Alessandra took from her childhood home in Buenos Aires Argentina. Taken in 2017, this work captures so many different things. This includes objects, people and the different nooks and crannies of her home that made up her childhood. This is a very personalized view of growing up in Argentina. It shows aging in its various forms. For example, there’s a photo of an older person with wrinkled skin. It is described that this person is her mother. (figure 2.1) The importance of showing a photo like this in a reflection or as Alessandra describes it, goodbye to her childhood, is that it emphasizes the way time affects human beings and shows itself on us. She shows this even more by including older hands being washed, (figure 2.2) with the imperfections of an elderly person's skin of people that she has known or was close to.  However, the effects of time are also shown through objects. She captures images of her father’s old shoes or jars on a shelf or old photographs that were hanging in her home. (figure 2.3) The creative process of this body of work is represented by showing these sentimental objects and sentimental people. As for the technical process, these photos were all taken indoors. It’s hard to tell whether these photos were staged or candid but, in my opinion, the photos of the people were staged while the photos of the objects were candid. The photos of the objects I feel are candid because they seem to be just where they’ve always been, and Alessandra took a picture of them because of that. However, the pictures of the people being posed I feel is essential to capturing the little details of aging.

These two bodies of work have various similarities and differences. For example, they are similar in their creative processes. Both projects represent time and the way that affects people. In the first body of work discussed, we watched two young girls grow into adults. We watched them in a rural setting in Argentina and got an insight into their personal lives. In the second body of work, we had a similar experience however from the eyes of the photographer herself reflecting on her own childhood. We saw the way time affects individuals. However, rather than watching Alessandra grow up, we saw the way she grew up from the objects that she captured in her photos. Unlike in The Adventures of Guille and Belinda, and Enigmatic Meaning of Their Dreamswhere we watched the time affect the girls directly. Another difference is in the personal feel that each body of work conveys. We got to watch personal moments in the lives of these two young girls in the first body of work, however, we got a personal insight into growing up in Argentina from the photographer herself in the second body of work. Growing up in Argentina is another similarity that these two bodies of work half. Having these two bodies of work be taken in the same place gives even more insight into what it is like living and growing up as a girl in Argentina. The technical aspects of these two bodies of work also have their similarities and differences. In The Adventures of Guille and Belinda, and Enigmatic Meaning of Their Dreams a lot of the photos are taken outside. It captures emotions and movement. Different colors different lighting using different shutter speeds and different appetizers. However, in the Passing of Time, everything is under the same bright white lighting, with not much movement besides the washing of hands.

           All in all, both of these two works photographed by Alessandra Sanguinetti represent time and its effects when growing up in Argentina. Although they have their technical differences, they are4 similar in their creative process which allows us to really see the from a personal view.

                                  ��            Bibliography and Citations

Photos: (PowerPoint presentation)

Adventures of Guille and Belinda, and Enigmatic Meaning of Their Dreams

https://www.magnumphotos.com/arts-culture/alessandra-sanguinetti-the-adventures-of-guille-and-belinda-and-the-enigmatic-meaning-of-their-dreams/

The Passing of Time

https://www.magnumphotos.com/arts-culture/society-arts-culture/alessandra-sanguinetti-passing-time/

[sabineelectricheart]

Coconut and Honey Sauna

Summary: Byleth and Sylvain enjoy a sauna session together.

Rating: M - Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16 with non-explicit suggestive adult themes, references to some violence, or coarse language.

Words: 1600

Notes: People really rub coconut oil and honey while they’re on nude saunas. It’s sticky, and it seems so gross. Oh, well, to each their own.

Byleth settled back in the steam room as Sylvain ladled water over the hissing coals. Saunas were a pleasure she learned to enjoy with her students. She knew of the concept and understood its purpose, of course, but it was not something open to her, as public baths were more common in the Adrestian Empire, but they banned women and foreigners of them, and she was both.

When she arrived to Garreg Mach, her usual hygiene habits were now unavailable, as she would clean herself on the flowing waters of some nearby river, but that was not allowed in the rather scarce water sources of the monastery. Instead, the Church offered a bath, which also counted with a steam room in its facilities.

The bathmaster seems to have taken a liking to Byleth, and much nagged her until she tried the experience, offering to have it with some of her students. At first, she was rather resistant to the activity, and Felix’s idea of a relaxing time being a preposterous competition to see who would last longer in the heat almost soured it definitively for her, but soon she began enjoying it for the social element.

Much of it was inspired by Sylvain. Not only she enjoyed his company, the redhead was also very partial to steam rooms, probably due to the opportunity to accost semi-nude women. Regardless, if Ferdinand understood anything about tea, the Gautier heir understood about baths.

Besides, it was a great couple’s activity. It was private and relaxing, and those things do not come easy in the monastery.

“This feels so good.” She said as she let the warmth envelop her. “Those Brigid essential oils of yours really hit the spot. What was the fruit again?”

“They call it coconut, and agreed. Remind me to send my regards to Petra’s grandfather later.” Sylvain said as he sat beside her. “Do you want some honey?”

“Yes, please.” She responded.

Her boyfriend reached for the pot and a small porcelain container, which he filled generously. Surprisingly, he did not mention that she was “sweeter than honey” or smeared his lips or some other body part with it and offered to feed her. She was impressed, but almost disappointed.

Yet, Sylvain was still Sylvain, and she was soon reminded of it. He reached over and took her hand in his, rubbing the liquid on her right arm and exfoliating her skin before leaving a sweet kiss to the shoulder as she works her other limb.

“It is crazy to think about how much has changed since the last time we were here.” He comments lazily, still resting his head against her shoulder.

“Indeed, it is.” Byleth agreed. “Last time, I was sitting on that bench over there, daydreaming about what it would be like to be with you. I never thought you would seriously feel the same way.”

“Are you kidding?” Sylvain asked with a jocose undertone. “I have been fighting feelings for you since I met you. 20th of the Great Tree Moon, you were standing against the sun on the door to the classroom. I thought, that is the most beautiful woman in the world.”

“You are such a rake.” Byleth said with a smile as she leaned over and kissed him gently. “But I am glad you stopped fighting. I am glad I can be with you like this.”

The aristocrat cupped her face in his hands and deepened the kiss. Without breaking away, the former mercenary moved over to sit on his lap, wrapping her legs around his waist. His calloused fingers dug into the terrycloth of her towel as he pulled her tighter to him.

“If I am to be perfectly honest…” Sylvain murmured with a devilish grin. “The last time we were here, I was thinking about you, too.”

“Oh, yeah?” The woman asked, gently kissing his earlobe. “What were you thinking?”

“I was picturing you in the sauna wearing only a towel.” He admitted. “It was very distracting.”

“I am surprised you included the towel.” Byleth said.

She kissed his neck, his slick skin salty against her lips.

“Well, the towel may have only lasted for a minute.” Sylvain said, his fingertips tracing along the seam of the fabric, held up precariously by a loosening knot and the generous bosom of his girlfriend.

She tilted his face towards hers and he kissed her hungrily. The woman felt breathless as she returned his embrace, like she had been searching for water in the desert and had finally found an oasis.

“I have an idea.” Byleth finally said when they broke apart.

“What sort of an idea?” Sylvain asked, his hands tracing slow pathways up and down her back.

“Well, I would not want to be presumptuous or forward, and I want to respect your desire to handle things different in our relationship” Byleth said, while Sylvain smiled and brushed a lock of damp hair back from her forehead. “We have forever together and there is no need to rush anything, but… I mean, you said you thought about me last time we were here, so I was thinking maybe you might want sneak a peek.”

“A peek, huh?” The redhead asked with a grin as he rested his hand against her heart. “What sort of a peek did you have in mind?”

“Strictly above the waist, but…” She said, emphatically. “Well, towels slip all the time.”

“It is true, it is the wish of the Goddess.” The man said, as he reached for where she had secured her towel and his fingers paused against her skin. “Are you sure about it?”

Byleth nodded and he gently tugged at her towel. It fell away from her body, puddling around her waist, and Sylvain sucked in a sharp breath as he took in the sight of her body.

“Do I live up to the fantasy?” The former mercenary felt a sudden pang of nervousness.

She might be fit, but she also carried old battle scars. Her body certainly looked nothing like a noble girl’s, and the comparison hurts, especially if she was to come out on the losing side. She had fallen so hard for him and she could not believe he felt the same way.

“Byleth, you are better than any fantasy.” Sylvain declared earnestly. He kissed her softly, his hands caressing the bare skin on her sides. “I still cannot believe this is really my life.”

The lancebearer trailed his lips across her jaw and down her throat. The former mercenary sighed, running her fingers through his scarlet hair as he kissed his way across her slick skin to her breasts. He groaned softly as he took her nipple in his mouth, the vibrations from his mouth making her shudder under his touch.

She dropped her head back, consumed by the way he flicked his tongue over her nipple, sucking it into a hard peak before moving to the other one. She could feel his erection through the towel at his waist and she imagined taking him in her mouth, running her tongue along his length before sucking the glistening drops from his head.

He licked the sweet stickiness from her skin and Byleth imagined Sylvain inside of her, thrusting into her, filling her as she begged for more. He lifted his face to hers and brought her lips to his in a bruising kiss and the woman felt a warm, wet, ache inside of her that had nothing to do with the sauna.

His strong hands caressed her breasts as they kissed and she was so absorbed with the way he made her feel that she almost did not hear the banging on the sauna door.

“Get a room already!” Felix called through the door.

“We got one! Go get your own!” Sylvain yelled back.

Byleth laughed and her paramour joined her, dissolving the sexual tension in the room. The blue-haired swordsman banged on the door again and their former professor could faintly hear Ingrid admonishing him.

“We should get out.” Byleth said.

Sylvain pulled her towel up from around her waist and wrapped it around her, securing it snugly.

“I loved this peek of yours.” He said with a grin. “Almost as much as I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She said. He kissed her softly, his hands gentle in her hair. She slid off of his lap to sit beside him and he readjusted his own towel. “You know, there is a rumour running around maids and maidens alike about you.”

“There is?” Sylvain asked as he took her hand in his. “What does the tongues have to say about my person?”

She chuckles. “Well, it is not about you as much as it is about what you own. They say that you keep a bath at your castle in Gautier, and how you capitalize on it for your nefarious ends.”

“I cannot confirm nor deny the accusations, but whatever I do not have and the lady wants can be sourced.” He responded.

“I thought so.” Byleth said. “I was thinking that, maybe once the craziness is over, we could recreate this scene out north once we are wed.”

Sylvain stood up and helped Byleth to her feet before wrapping his arms around her waist. “That could definitely be arranged.”

“Plus, Felix will not be there to interrupt us.” She added.

The man laughed and kissed her sweetly.

“Good, because I don’t intend to share my time with you.” he said.

Then he wound his fingers between hers and they left the sauna, steam still coursing through their veins.

*_*_*_*_*

Fire Emblem Masterlist

Three Houses Masterlist

#fire emblem #Sylvain Gautier

[madhyanas]

tell me ur thoughts on twilek head coverings 👀

aw YES thank u so much my brain was going to burst

to avoid my brain melting out my ears and also to apply some Critical Thought and Depth to star wars for once: i will be ignoring the aspects of the gross sexualisation of female twi’leks that aren’t relevant to what i’m saying. as recommended by doctors

tw: discussions of canon-typical slavery, trafficking, hyper-sexualisation. brief explanation of blood as internally transported by the body (not graphic). compression aids/stockings for medical purposes. 

only mentioning things people might want to avoid - it’s mostly okay!

0. ‘lekku’ - the tentacles growing from twi’lek heads. that’s uhhhh p important lmao

broadly speaking, i see 2 primary points of significance to twi’lek head coverings: cultural and anatomical.

1. cultural significance

to start with the obvious, we only see head coverings worn almost exclusively on women and children. children seemed to wear head coverings regardless of gender (see: suu lawquane’s kids). the only examples i could find of any coverings on adult men are either helmets or bands that wrap around the ends - with the exception of this dude who appears in the kanan comics and honestly? looks amazing

one interpretation could be a modesty-oriented culture. this is probably my favourite cultural explanation, and one i could 100% see emerging as a form of liberation amongst twi’lek women as a response to the over-sexualisation and trafficking of their species. especially since it’s such a well-known practice and stereotype. (for instance, it’s one that hera syndulla took advantage of multiple times to lower people’s guard.) 

the over-sexualisation of twi’leks is, as far as canon is concerned, distinct to twi’lek women, while enslaved twi’lek men were typically trafficked for manual labour. so it would make sense that the women’s experiences and trauma, being different from that of their male counterparts, may have resulted in a unique custom of dress in retaliation to their suffering.

very messed up how twi’leks are characterised as individuals and as a species, but something i would like to explore from that is how their subjugation and hyper-sexualisation influenced their community identity, their ideologies (especially regarding independence) and the twi’lek population taking back autonomy over their bodies and appearance. 

(in my opinion twi’lek women should have more identity-asserting narratives beyond just a few characters, but that’s by the by.)

however, there are a lot of flaws in the modesty-oriented interpretation idea. firstly, if originating as a social revolution against their enslavement, it only makes sense for as long as the enslavement and trafficking of twi’leks had been a practice. not so sure how it works out pre-Empire. secondly, it doesn’t really work in the case of enslaved twi’leks. think original trilogy - they wore ornate head coverings even when barely clothed otherwise. my guess is that these are more for ‘decoration’, for lack of a better word. since the head coverings themselves are apparently a staple of twi’lek culture, it could be that slavers let enslaved twi’leks wear head coverings for the. ‘exotic’ effect. or whatever. disgusting so let’s move on

it could very well be a religious custom, though i don’t think this is very convincing. simply because we don’t see much of twi’lek religion at all. wish we did :(

there’s a few more possible interpretations but last one for now: family lineage. from the kalikori episodes in rebels, it’s made very clear that family legacy is a defining aspect of a twi’lek’s individual identity. so i guess it wouldn’t be a stretch for women to ‘pass on’ a certain style of head covering through the family line. this explanation is really fun imo because it could possibly explain the different styles of head coverings a little more comprehensively than just regional variations/personal preferences. it also adds more more depth to what’s already been established as twi’lek tradition. could also be little things like medallions/ornaments added to head coverings. 

then again - to once more rain on my own parade - this might not check out, since neither suu’s children share any similarities in head coverings to her own, nor does hera to her mother’s. but more on hera’s head coverings below

2. anatomical/physiological

yeah alright i started getting tired here so. bullet points

star wars plays fast and loose when it comes to twi’lek physiology, especially lekku

the presence of ‘braintails’ - lekku that apparently contain part of a twi’lek’s BRAIN (whack) could be a reason for head coverings

so first and foremost i guess a logical explanation would be it’s just safer to have your brain wrapped up lmao - if they’re contained in dangly bits like lekku with no BONE encasing them (???) then having something wrapped around tightly would be a pretty basic safety measure

why don’t men wear them then? well quite a lot of male twi’lek’s have bulbous, protruding foreheads. not too far-fetched to argue that men’s brains are located more forward, while the women’s are located more backward? definitely not an airtight explanation though. 

i’ll be honest my number one favourite explanation behind head coverings is for circulation. like for varicose veins in the legs (a non-fictional condition), patients usually wear compression stockings. they improve blood flow by letting the arteries (high pressure blood vessels) relax for a bit and gives veins (low pressure) some help in sending blood back to the heart

i think that’s what head coverings could be for!! to help with blood circulation in lekku!! they’re essentially an extra pair of limbs to account for but with none of the motor skills/control of movement. and they’re constantly dangling - seeing how bouncy they are, gravity has to be taking a toll there. think like the worst case of pins and needles but you can barely move the limb that HAS the pins n needles. a compression sock/stocking/head covering might help with that.

reasonably speaking the compression sock would be at the bottom of the limb to account for gravity, and this doesn’t address the gender disparity, so it’s not a perfect explanation. but i like it a lot!!!!!

this could also be adapted for pilots, i feel. like hera’s head coverings have been mentioned to be a notable divergence from usual styles, which could be because they’re adapted for rapid changes in altitude, pressure and gravity? 

anyways much to think about

#been thinking about this for a while so im proud of it actually being written out lmao #really got away from me huh #idk WHY the compression sock thing compels me so but i would love for it to be true #thanks for the ask man!! #tings #star wars #star wars meta #sw #sw meta #meta #my meta #twi'lek #ask #forcesensitivebantha

[siennahrobek]

I had so many ideas on what to write about today but I was scrolling through the Obi-Wan tag during my break and I came across a huge post that had been baffled and a bit crazed. It was labeled about forgiveness and mercy and such but it was like a huge insanely interpreted post about the Jedi Order and some of the characters. Of course I wasn't about to start any sort of argument (and wow was the post long) but I just had to write something, at least, in my own post, unconnected with theirs. I guess this is a reaction and buckle up cause it seems like this is going to be a long one. I have a lot to say and I'm not gonna stop being all anxious about it until I do but uh....

I'm sorry, did we watch the same movies?

They go through a lot of movies and completely do a opposite take on the Jedi; how they are "unattached" (I say this because there are so many misconceptions about the word) and celibate (which we know isn't actually true) and how Anakin becomes living proof why this attitude is wrong.

First of all, it's not an attitude; it is a way of life. One that has worked for thousands of people over millennia. Second; their point WAS proven. Anakin turned to the dark side and became a sith. He committed genocide after genocide (the Jedi, Mandalore, Alderaan, Lasan etc.) and in the end, he only turned back because of his son. Which, may seem good on the surface, but it only goes to show how no other children or people that he murdered actually mattered, it was only his blood child that did. But that's not where I'm going. You don't actually see him regret doing the countless things he has done (probably because he dies) and he only does this because of his blood son. It, for me, gives the impression that blood means everything.

Anyways, there is quite a bit of talk about Obi-Wan and honestly? It is all not good. I'm not blind to Obi-Wan's faults but in general? He is a really good person; he tries so hard and goes through so much and is ugh, always trying. Obi-Wan shows no understanding? What? What? Did we watch the same movie? I mean it has been a while since I have watched Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith (they hurt my heart because ugh) but that is NOT what I remember. I remember Obi-Wan teasing Anakin gently to get his mind off of his anxieties when they were going to see Padme again. I remember Obi-Wan saying "dude don't be a horny teenager" (not in those words obviously, but that was essentially the message). I remember him literally parenting and teaching him - like he's supposed to do. I remember him trusting Anakin to do the right thing and to protect the Senator alone, by himself. I remember Anakin saying he's been having dreams - not visions or anything and nothing specific, just about his mom - and Obi-Wan going "it's alright dude, those pass in time". I mean everyone has DREAMS, that's not beholden to force-sensitives. My dreams sure as heck don't mean anything. Just cause he is a Jedi and COULD have visions, does not mean they are. And he didn't tell Obi-Wan they were visions, he literally says dreams.

(this is about the time that I wish I could work with gifs and understand them)

Anakin is not stronger than Obi-Wan; I mean, really? Sure, more powerful? I guess? But let's go back. Who beats who on Mustafar? Obi-Wan. Who does NOT murder a bunch of children and turn to the dark side? Obi-Wan. Literally, sure, he's more "powerful" with the Force, because I guess that is the whole point but he's not stronger or wiser than Obi-Wan because as Captain Rex said "experience outranks everything" and man, does Obi-Wan have a lot of that.

Let's take a break and go to Shmi. They claim that her death is a dark page in the Jedi's book. I mean, w-what? How can you possibly blame the Jedi for Shmi's death? For not freeing her? Did Qui-Gon even tell the Council that Anakin was a slave? I don't remember, honestly. But still, she ended up freed and married to a man she fell in love with. And if I remember correctly, someone was sent (by Padme maybe? to free her but she was already gone to the Lars' by that point).

Okay, I know it sounds like I am reacting to a post and well I am I suppose. But like, this post is literally blaming the Jedi for Shmi's death and how they did not offer Anakin compassion. And then just to say that it is bothersome how Anakin was solely blamed. Uh, because he was a the perpetrator! How can you possibly justify the MURDER of children. Even though it not the Jedi way, I could understand, sort of, if he went after the people that hurt his mother specifically; probably some of the men/warriors/adults. But the babies? The children? You can literally not justify that. And to blame the Jedi Order and Obi-Wan for not "taking his nightmares seriously?" Are you serious? Anakin mentioned the dream (DREAM) once in passing, there is no indication that he said that she was in danger or that this was a vision. And visions are known to be notoriously unreliable! Not to mention, the Council is responsible for the Jedi as a whole - that is thousands of people.

Alright, now to the war.

There was a claim that throughout the war, the Jedi became more and more aloof, intolerant and unforgiving and determined to win despite the suffering of the people.

What. The. Krutack.

I will include the Clone Wars series, since it was directly referenced in response. Once again, did we watch the same show? Because I'm pretty sure that virtually the whole point of the show, aside from showing us horrible things the CIS did and the individuality of the clones, was the compassion and kindness of the Jedi. How they fought to protect as many people as they could. They were dying alongside the clones. Does anyone remember how kind and caring the Jedi were when they came across civilians. Do you remember how Obi-Wan literally carried and protected with his own body the little Twielek girl, Numa, on Ryloth? Does anyone remember how many NON-Republic planets they helped? I remember them helping even CIS senators and planets that had no ties to the Republic. They helped Mandalore even when they were not part of the Republic. The vast majority of Jedi are shown protecting not only citizens but the clones as well. They are on the front lines - not hidden behind a desk (although some are and that is necessary - tactics and strategy people) and trying to save as many lives as they can, even if it costs them. They inspire creativity and individuality in the clones - this is literally a thing. I could go on and on and on.

Okay, on to Revenge of the Sith - the sadness that will probably haunt my heart forever. We will start with Dooku; specifically when Palpatine tells Anakin to kill him and that he deserves it; it is revenge for cutting off his and whatever. And this, this, post asks if this is an act of mercy for the guy kneeling in front of him (and tells him Obi-Wan later denies him) and like, what? How in the world is that mercy? He murders a defenseless man. Sure, he is the enemy and he is a criminal but he is supposed to stand trial (not to mention all the intelligence Dooku could possible give to help win the war) which is incredibly ironic, considering later, Anakin screams at Mace Windu telling him Palpatine should stand trial (even though he is much more dangerous and more of a threat than Dooku). This is not mercy. This is a handless, defenseless (although evil) man who Anakin does actually kill. It is not mercy.

Anakin has dreams about Padme; similar to his mother. You would think he would have learned his lesson and confided in someone by telling them what was actually happening. Anakin once again, DOES NOT give Yoda any specifics, just that he fears someone he is close to will die. It is claimed that he is lacking empathy and compassion to Anakin's dilemma. WHAT DILEMMA? Anakin won't tell anyone anything that could actually help. What Yoda says is true; like "dude, people die and you have to move on from that. You cannot stop death and you cannot let this fear control you. You have to let go" which is a completely reasonable thing; I mean, hello - grief counseling anyone? Yoda probably thought he was talking about Obi-Wan - who was off on a very dangerous mission against a cyborg that had killed many Jedi and padawans; this seems like a very normal fear. Whether or not Yoda says this in the right way is not really relevant; Anakin knows that he has to let go of what he fears to lose because eventually, no matter what, he will lose it. NOTHING is permanent. Now if Anakin had specified he was having what he thought were visions and the actual person in them, I'm sure Yoda would have said things differently and probably helped him.

(Also, did Padme get any real health care or like??? Was it too much of a secret???)

(The genocide of the people in the Temple is conveniently glossed through with bare mention)

and then Mustafar. Contrary to Padme (apparently) Obi-Wan shows no clemency. ANAKIN MURDERED THE ELDERLY, THE SICK/INJURED AND BABIES in the temple. Not warriors, not even full grown men and women (some would be full grown but all the able bodied were probably out in the war trying to defend the universe). He should NOT be granted clemency. Anyone else would probably have been executed for this direct horrifying act. But they seem to gloss over how Obi-Wan is always on the defensive, not really because Anakin is more overpowering (And Obi-Wan does use a defensive style, Soresu) but because he is trying to give Anakin time to chill out and come to his senses. That is literally how the choreography was designed.

And Obi-Wan's last words were? Harsh? What? If I remember correctly, Obi-Wan says something like "You were supposed to destroy the Sith not join them" and when Anakin screams he hates Obi-Wan, the return is "you were my brother, Anakin, I loved you."

That is heart-breaking and sad, not harsh. How can you look at Obi-Wan's face in this scene and call that harsh? How can your heart not break for him?!

Say what you will about Obi-Wan leaving Anakin without "finishing him off". Whether or not this is a mercy, whatever. First, we needed a reason for Vader to be in the suit. Second, Anakin was unarmed; Obi-Wan doesn't go around killing unarmed enemies, much less loved ones. (Hello, the slaver from the series, anyone? He didn't kill him; it is against his beliefs. Rex killed him). Can you even imagine how Obi-Wan was feeling? How could he possibly kill his brother? Like, I have so many feelings and not enough words ahdkjgkjgjkf. Anakin does suffer and Obi-Wan has no reason to believe that Anakin would survive his injuries. Furthermore, if I remember correctly, Palpatine ship was coming? Also, Obi-Wan had to get to Padme - she was injured and more of a priority. Because she is someone he can try to save - Anakin is long gone - in more ways than one.

Although it claimed that they are not denying the terrible things Anakin has done; that is almost kind of what they are doing. They are literally putting Anakin's choices and agency to the fault of the Jedi - not just individuals but the culture and people. It is literally gone on to say that if he had left with his wife, the worst could have been avoided. What was the worst?

Oh, a mass murderer got his legs cut off and accidently burned alive. Uhm, okay, that sucks but you do realize he committed genocide of his entire family right? And he choked his wife into unconsciousness.

I can't even with humans.

There is not even a note to Palpatine and how he manipulated Anakin for years. No blame at all on the man we need to blame the most - they put all the blame on the Jedi which just. Blows my mind.

The Clone Wars proved there was no right choice for the Jedi - they were doomed to fall. Not because of anything they did - they did everything they could - but because of Palpatine's plans and schemes. I will never, ever agree that the Jedi failed because of themselves. I do not think that the "institution" was destined to fall ( that "institution" lasted for longer than the Republic). The Jedi were trying so hard - they were kind and good and compassionate and trying so hard for peace and saving as many lives as they could. The Sith were evil. The CIS was evil. The Senate was corrupt. And the Jedi were trying.

There is so much Jedi-blaming for Anakin's attitude, disposition and choices it is literally driving me insane. Why did I do this to myself?

Things delve into a New Hope and immediately there is bashing of the jedi; where Obi-Wan cuts some guy's arm off at a Cantina and Obi- Wan "lying" that Vader killed Anakin. Which, honestly, I could see that being true. Him being Anakin's murderer, at least. Vader may have Anakin's body but even he claims that he killed Anakin Skywalker. Anakin, at least, how he thought he was, was loyal and passionate and loving - or at least he tried to be. Vader is literally none of these things; there is very little of "Anakin" in Vader. And at first glance, it may seem that Obi-Wan and Yoda are setting Luke up to kill "his father" but honestly, I see it more as preparing him to fight Vader and kill him, if necessary. It's a horrible thing, but they do not outright say anything. And honestly, they were right. Vader is willing to kill Luke - he cuts off his hand and fights him. Okay, I have so much to say about this but that is for another time; i will digress about this particular point (of lying and such)

Luke, apparently, decides to forgive Vader and show him mercy (which is claimed the Jedi and Obi-Wan NEVER did for Anakin, no matter what he did for them which is such BS I'm virtually crying rn)

There is a lengthy talk about Luke trying to rebuild the Jedi culture and how it crushed him, his contrast with Obi-Wan's attitude and shame(?) and how trying to be a Jedi has caused him to fail. Because apparently Luke is the only one who apologized and that makes him different I guess? (How many times has Obi-Wan apologized and thought things were his fault even though they weren't?)

I won't get into the Sequel Trilogy because honestly, it does very little to interest me. I am mostly a Prequel- era person mostly because I love Obi-Wan and the strength and compassion of his character. Finn seemed really interesting to me and man I thought having a female Jedi character would be really great - we had some fantastic female Jedi such as Ahsoka, Shaak Tii, Depa Billaba and so many more - but they were rarely the focus and I thought it would be fun. But, I was a bit disappointed because killing off Han Solo the way they did? Eh. Didn't care for it. I was also in the era of Mara Jade, Jacen and Jaina Solo, Anakin Solo and Ben Skywalker (Luke's son) so perhaps I was a little bias. I didn't really understand why Leia and Han would name their child after someone that they didn't really know (although I do have a headcanon concerning Leia and Obi-Wan which I find hilarious that I love).

I didn't particularly care for the Sequel Trilogy. They made it a Skywalker show and they did an emphasis on romantic love and from what I recall from what I have watched, the majority of the characters weren't nearly as interesting or compelling to me. And then bringing Palpatine back, sighs. Why does it always come back to him? That is just exhausting.

I'm not hating on the Sequels; everyone is allowed to like things or whatever. I just didn't; they focused so much on Rey and Kylo Ren (who I actually have a bit of an opinion on but I won't right now) instead of the more intriguing characters. I would have been much more interested in Finn as a Jedi. To overcome what he has been through as a stormtrooper and becoming a Jedi would be a really interesting story. I didn't care for how they handled Luke. And I didn't like how Rey apparently became a master so fast without any real training? Even Anakin, the Chosen One, the most powerful force-wielder, had ten years of training under Obi-Wan and the Jedi. That stuff doesn't just...come; you learn it.

I wrote more about the Sequel Trilogy than I care too. I suppose this is a rather reaction post but wow; I felt like me and this person had watched two separate movie trilogy/shows. It boggles my mind on how people can get the opposite of something that was so clearly shown. I hope I didn't upset anyone too bad. I'm not hear to start a fight, just to get out some feelings.

I wrote this all instead of homework that I desperately need to do. Sighs.

I need to go through my likes and read some good Jedi content cause man, that, that was hard.

#obi wan kenobi #Anakin Skywalker #Ahsoka Tano #Yoda #Rey #Ben Solo #Kylo Ren #Luke Skywalker #reactions #commentary #Star Wars #prequel trilogy #original music #Sequel trilogy #the clone wars #tcw #the clones #pro jedi #jedi order #I love the Jedi #in defense of the jedi #Genocide #the jedi are amazing #Obi-Wan Kenobi deserves better #The Jedi deserved better #Honestly this is why I stay before Original trilogy era #because I love the Jedi Order #It is so good and beautiful #Infinite sadness #I'm not trying to start a fight

[idreamtofmanderleyagain]

Morality-Focused Frameworks Of Discussion As Acts of Control

This is a post in response to a larger conversation I’ve been having with @eshusplayground. I have a perspective that I think would be really relevant to the conversation but I also don’t want to derail the specific focus of the following posts she’s been making recently.

(Trigger Warning For Abuse Discussion and Brief Mentions of Rape)

---

So I’m in the Hellraiser fandom. More specifically, I’m a Pinhead/Kirsty shipper.

For those of you that don’t know, Pinhead is a demonic torturer from hell who’s design is inspired by the BDSM community. Characters who open a magical puzzle box have unknowingly given themselves away to his violent underworld community of eternal torment and depravity. Hellraiser is a film about romantic and sexual horror, and there’s quite a lot in there about abuse and trauma. Kirsty is a traumatized person, and in my personal opinion, very likely a CSA victim.

And I ship these two characters together.

So the subject matter of my particular fandom is extremely intense and niche and complicated to navigate, although YMMV (I have no trouble with this franchise, but I cannot really handle GOT or American Horror Story, for example). After I grew interested in Hellraiser and integrated into it’s fandom, my perspectives about the way we have conversations about villainous characters started to have a major shift.

I often see people have these intense conversations (and arguments) about where a particular character exists on a moral scale, with the subtext (or outright text) that if they tip too far one way or another, they can be rendered unworthy of their own subgroup of fans within their own fandom. People who love those characters or find them shippable are then subject to moral judgements.

So how does one apply such logic to a psychosexual torture demon?

The answer is you can’t.

The frameworks people online use to have these discussions do not make any sense when talking about my fandom. Hellraiser is a dark horror fairytale presenting disturbing, surreal images and behaviors in order to discuss complex and difficult experiences and perspectives. The monsters within it, like Pinhead, are more metaphor than anything.

Now, my follower count is too low and my fandom is too niche for me to really be on the receiving end of a lot of the cruelty that manifests online about the moral validity of the fiction I enjoy. That said, between the anti-kink TERFS and the younger folks involved in purity culture on this site, I can imagine exactly what it would look like. You know what they would look like.

“You’re an Abuse Apologist!”

“You’re an Abuse Fetishist!”

“You’re reinforcing sexism!”

“he’s an irredeemable torturer, you’re probably okay with literal real world rape lmao uwu”

“This is bad kink representation and you’re complicit in the abuse real men do to women because you like this!”

Now, setting aside the fact that the canon lore context of Pinhead involves him having a human soul brainwashed by a monster god to become what he is, and is also in a roundabout sense “redeemed” in canon, I think most people utilizing this kind of framework would assume that I believe Pinhead can be redeemed in the way online Discourse (tm) means it, because that’s how we talk in fandom about the villains we really like.

I do not want to redeem Pinhead. I don’t think he even needs redeeming. I don’t even see value in that conversation at all. Redemption is not a concept that makes sense for what he is, or what he could become as a character. The framework of Pinhead as a Real-World-Equivalent Human Male Abuser who Cannot Be Redeemed From His Actions would inevitably dominate all conversation, regardless of the fact that it is inherently incorrect and detrimental to real, robust literary analysis of the narrative he exists within and how brilliantly it actually interacts with male on female abuse as a subject. By nature of it’s gross oversimplification and misrepresentation, It ruins the potential for greater, more nuanced and complex conversations.

And that’s the thing: my engagement with this particular story and it’s characters has a lot to do with the potential in the narrative to examine how trauma interacts with love, desire and gender politics. Hellraiser has a very unique way of exploring that kind of subject through a storytelling aesthetic that appeals to me (horror/fairytale, gothic romance, etc).

This is about to get personal, so strap the fuck in.

I am the victim of gendered abuse, in that I had an emotionally abusive step father and sexism was absolutely a factor in why that manifested the way it did. I am also a second hand victim of gendered abuse, in that my biological father was a serial stalker and rapist, and other male abusers (or just self-centered family members) caused severe emotional destabilization in my childhood. I grew up viewing adult men as unstable, selfish children. My family endured a lot, and I came to resent the men in my mother’ life for not taking on the role of protector and nurturer when she needed them most. I had discovered the great lie of traditional masculinity: in the face of real crisis, grown men were not protectors. They did not hold together the domestic space. They abused or faltered and abandoned us. This was a repeated pattern among several men in different roles. I was often left picking up all the pieces, taking on roles as a child that these men could not. I had to have strength they did not.

My experience of desire for romantic intimacy with men and men in roles of stable, nurturing authority now inherently involves a jumbled emotional soup of fear, pain, and a deep longing that comes from a place of feminine vulnerability, a desire to be taken care of instead of being the caretaker.

The narrative of Hellraiser pushes a lot of buttons for me. It speaks to my own trauma experiences in a very specific way. In an effort to further that conversation, I’m trying to create a piece of art (a fic) inspired by the deeply personal feelings this film gives me.

For me, Pinhead represents the Jungian shadow masculine, a simultaneous mix of fear and desire, the potential for suffering and pleasure, and everything in between. These experiences are inherently intertwined for me. And Kirsty’s experiences mirror many of my own.

In other words, in order for me to get out of Hellraiser what I get out of Hellraiser, Pinhead has to be exactly what he is, and everything that he is. Which includes monstrosity. Which includes the potential for change. His place in the narrative must fully, truly embody this conversation I need to have with masculinity, which inherently involves painful, scary things.

Anybody demanding that I either denounce my interest in him as morally offensive because he’s a monster in the full sense of the word (and not just the aesthetic one like what is currently trending in Monster Boyfriend fandom), or force a traditional redemption arc upon him as if he were a real life human person who must repent for his real life sins, are essentially saying that I am not allowed to engage with this work of fiction in a way that is transformative for me. And that’s very unfortunate, because honestly, I think my perspective is so much more dynamic and has so much more to offer.

This is not just about basic catharsis. This is not even a power fantasy about emotionally transforming a powerful (white) dude, or “bad boy” fantasies, both standard arguments for villain stanning that feels like it has never truly represented me or the complexity of my experiences and interests. This is a full-on conversation and act of self expression I want to have through art about the experience of fear and trauma when dealing with men as a woman who desires men.

And I don’t think a person has to be traumatized in order to want to engage with this type of fiction. I want to be clear that my experience is not a justification for my interest (I do not need to justify myself), it is an example of a perspective that gets erased by the framework of these conversations.

To me, the framework of moral validity for enjoying fictional villains and monsters and whatever you please feels incredibly stifling to the complex, dynamic ideas and analysis that I want to engage in, because I, and many people I know, are consistently pressured to structure their thoughts with this framework as the only acceptable baseline of discussion. This is so ubiquitous that when people I’ve known have tried to engage in ways that diverge from that framework, the responses they get are outright confused or direct the conversation right back to the original framework they tried to avoid. Complex conversation gets steamrolled.

Somewhere in the conversation we were all having about acknowledging and discussing abuse and oppression, and acknowledging troubling patterns in media which reinforce the normalization of abuse and opression, some people decided that there was a very serious moral discussion to be had regarding the mere act of liking things which involve dark subject matter and complex, or even monstrous characters. They now argue that there are very clear cut, simple moral frameworks for A) telling stories and B) enjoying stories, and most importantly, that this moral framework is a valid justification for the social treatment and silencing of certain people.

A framework, by the way, which I think is actually not functionally a framework, because like the toxic American fundamentalist christian groups it’s thinking is structured from, it does not account for the vastly diverse moral landscape within it’s own space. There is no objectively consistent body of knowledge anybody is working from, because morals are derived from the human experience, which is inherently subjective.

Interestingly, no where does this have more of an impact than with marginalized people, and people like me, who want to express something deeper and more meaningful in the conversation about abuse and oppression than what this framework really offers us. To be honest, The more I see this kind of conversation making the rounds, the clearer it becomes that it’s a means of control and power game playing. It’s not about morality, but about how morality can be leveraged in order to silence truly diverse and nuanced perspectives and uphold people’s sense of self-comfort. It is a means of supplanting more convenient and easily digestible understandings of these highly complex subjects that require more intensive, thoughtful engagement, especially when it gets challenging. This kind of rhetoric absolves people of making room for complex and diverse experiences, and reinforces an (at face-value) easy to follow set of moral rules of how we are all allowed to think and feel.

The implication of all of this is that if we all adhere to the One True (alleged) Moral Framework of Fandom Engagement, then we will somehow come out on the other side with all the Good People having a Great Time having Squeaky Clean Fun. And I don’t think I should have to tell you at this point how stifling and disturbing the implications of that kind of mentality really are.

 Quite frankly, I think a lot of us are very tired of constantly speaking on other people’s terms.

#abuse tw #rape tw #Fandom #Hellraiser

[sincerelyella]

RAMifications Chapter 5 -  Why Don’t We Fall In Love

Book: The Royal Romance (AU)

Pairings: Liam x MC (Ella)

Song Inspiration: Why Don’t We Fall In Love by Amerie

Characters belong to Pixelberry; MC Ella Brooks belongs to me

A/N: This entire idea came from Burnsy and her unBEARable series featuring her OTP Drake and Alyssa. This is Ella’s backstory and how she met the love of her life King Liam of Cordonia and became his queen. This doesn’t follow much of TRR books, there is still a social season but not all of the players are present. Throw canon out the window!

Catch up here

Warnings: Adult language; NSFW -> second base maybe

Words: 2439 

“Why was kissing me a mistake, Liam?”

Liam stared at her in surprise. He didn’t expect her to bring up the kiss, he hadn’t planned on bringing it up either; but it had been on his mind all week.

“I should have asked; I didn’t know how you felt …” he babbled. You’re blowing this! He audibly swallowed and tried to think about what to say next without looking like an idiot. “I’m sorry, Ella,” he whispered. “It wasn’t a mistake. Nothing with you has been a mistake. I just … this is my social season with suitors. At the time I didn’t think I could have you.” When she remained quiet he continued to nervously prattle. “Then I saw you at the beer garden on a date-“

“Wait,” she interrupted with her hand up. “You saw me?”

Liam nodded. “Yes, Drake and Alyssa and I were driving by, and I saw you get in the car with … someone,” he clenched his jaw. Ella smirked when she saw it and raised a brow at him.

She took a step forward. “Why, Your Highness, were you jealous?”

“No!” He said a little too quickly. He looked away for a second then back down at her and she tried so hard not to smile, but the edges of her mouth were curving up.

She took another step forward. “It wasn’t a date, Liam,” she said softly. “It was a way for me to get my mind off of a certain prince.”

She was so close to him, but their bodies weren’t touching. He could feel the warmth of her through the clothes in between them; the smell of her lavender perfume made him dizzy and rock hard at the same time. There she was, looking up at him with her mouth slightly parted, sending him a message; her eyes darker then they usually were, almost black. His gaze dropped down and landed on her mouth, they were drawing him in, closer and closer. Kiss her! Kiss her now! He quickly dropped his lips down onto hers, not gentle or shy like before, but passionate, like he was drinking from her. Like he was dying and needed her, all of her, to live. He wrapped his arms around her small waist, tugged her tightly against his chest and he felt her arms come around his neck. She softly moaned against his mouth and he took that opportunity to slip his tongue inside. Their tongues massaged each others, their hands were everywhere, soft groans filled the room. Liam ran his hands down to squeeze her ass, then reached the back of Ella’s thighs and lifted her easily off the floor. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he pressed her up against the closest wall. He ravaged her mouth and pressed himself against her throbbing core. She pulled away with a small moan as Liam kneaded one of her breasts outside her sweater. He rested his forehead against hers as they fought to catch their breath.

“Oh … my God,” she panted. Her head was swimming, she had never been kissed like that before. Ever.

Liam watched her with a smirk on his face. He leaned in to capture her lips again, slow and gentle. “I meant to kiss you like that,” he chuckled.

Ella smiled wide. “Uh-huh. Well, I didn’t mind this though … not at all.”

“Neither did I.” He flashed a grin at her and her legs got weak.

He placed one last kiss on her swollen lips before putting her carefully back on her feet and cleared his throat. “I, uh, really did invite you to stay so I could answer your questions. I know all of this is rather foreign to you.”

What were we talking about? “Umm …” she looked up at him with a confused look on her face.

“The social season, Ella,” he laughed loudly. “Come on, I can order us some dinner and we can talk?”

She nodded, just now realizing she hadn’t eaten at all since breakfast and her stomach was growling. Liam stepped away to order some food while she took in the living area and kitchen. Everything was modern, stainless steel appliances, a large kitchen island, marble countertops, a comfortable looking sectional that face a 75 inch flat screen TV. The entire area was simplistic but very masculine at the same time.

“Food should be here in a little bit, come sit with me.” He led her to the sectional, faced her and took her hands in his. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable about being a suitor. I want to be honest with you about everything.” Ella’s brows wrinkled in question and Liam continued. “The social season is a way for single women from all the noble houses in the kingdom to, essentially, compete to be queen. My queen.” He sighed. “In all honesty, it’s basically me … dating these women … at the same time.”

Liam held his breath. He studied Ella’s facial expression then held eye contact, silently pleading for her to say something. Anything.

She stared back at him, trying to gather her thoughts. I left Ethan because he dated multiple women. “So, you’ll be doing what we did in here … with those other women?”

He shook his head fiercely. “No! No, Ella!” He placed his hands on both sides of her neck and stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. “Court dating is very different from normal dating. Everything is done in front of the court, we talk and dance and there may be kisses on the cheek or hands but I won’t be doing anything like that with any of them.”

Ella nodded. Liam leaned over to kiss her softly and a knock on the door caused them to jump, then giggle. “It’s just dinner.” He rose from the couch to answer the door and rolled in a cart of covered plates a few moments later.

As they dug into their food, Liam continued speaking about the social season. “Our next event is in Applewood, the Apple Festival. I must warn you,” he stopped cutting the meat on his plate and looked at Ella. “My father has already told me that I need to … spend time with all of the ladies the last few weeks of the season.” He frowned and started to cut the meat again. “Originally, I was making small talk with them but not fully engaging. My father took notice and … I can’t show any favoritism while out in public, Ella.”

Ella continued to eat, looking down at her plate, thinking about Liam’s words. I don’t belong here.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said quietly.

She put her fork down. “I’m thinking that maybe I don’t belong here, Liam. I’m in school … I am a semester away from getting my degree. I was … planning on working at the children’s hospital.” She sighed. “Do I just give that up? For something I’m not even sure about? What if the court hates me? What if you don’t … choose me after the season-“

“Ella.” He said sternly, interrupting her nervous chattering. She flinched at his tone and looked him in the eye. “I don’t plan on choosing anyone but you,” his voice softened. “The only time I wouldn’t choose you … is if you tell me this isn’t what you want. The crown is a heavy, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone if they weren’t willing.”

Say no thank you, Ella. “I want this,” she blurted out. If she was honest with herself, she never felt anything like what she felt for Liam.

“What did you say?” He heard her, but he wanted to hear her say it again.

“I want this,” she said, louder and with more confidence. “I want this, and I want you. I just … want to figure out a way to also finish my degree.”

Liam smiled and kissed her soundly on mouth. “I want this, and I want you too,” and started placing chaste kisses on her lips over and over until she laughed. “We will figure out something for your school. For the season, however, you may need to drop this semester. Start again in January.”

She nodded. “Alright, I can do that. Now, my sponsors … what are they for?”

“The Beaumont’s have no single women to send as a representative of their house for the social season. So, they find a woman suitable and sponsor her so that she can represent their house.”

They talked through the night, he answered her questions and they had made plans to meet with Maxwell and Bertrand the next day. He taught her how to address nobles with their title and how to curtsy when appropriate. Liam had one of the guards drive her home so she could pack her things and come back to stay at the palace.

*****

The next day

Ella smiled and her thoughts went back to last night. She absentmindedly put her fingers on her lips. This was the last thing she expected when she flew to a country nobody had heard of. Falling for a prince and possibly ending up marrying him - it all sounded a little crazy. She woke up this morning thinking it was all a dream. But a text from Liam that said ‘good morning beautiful’ brought her back to reality. It’s not a dream. Holy shit I’m dating a prince!

On her way to the palace, Ella made a pit stop at the floral truck. Her boss gave her a big hug when she told him everything.

“I knew there was a reason Prince Liam was making you deliver all his flowers,” Aaron laughed loudly.

“Yeah, yeah,” Ella rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry I’m leaving with such short notice, Aaron. I have to postpone school until next semester also.”

He waved her apology dismissively. “Don’t worry about it, you just make us proud and become a damn good queen.”

“Oh God,” she placed her hand on her forehead. “I haven’t fully come to terms with that yet,” her eyes widened.

“You’ll be fine, Ella,” Aaron’s face took on a serious expression. “You took the hospital by storm, you took on this job like a boss, everyone you speak to loves you immediately,” he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, okay?”

Ella swallowed nervously and swallowed. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I have to head to the palace, move in and all that, so I’ll see you around.”

She gave him one last hug before getting back in the car.

**

Liam sat in his quarters with Maxwell and Bertrand, waiting for Ella to arrive. Max was bouncing on the balls of his feet. “I can’t wait to meet her! Alyssa said she was great!”

Liam smiled. “Yes, she is pretty great.”

“Yes, well … great could still embarrass House Beaumont and I won’t have it.” Bertrand said with a frown.

“Aw B, don’t be so stuffy. If Liam is taken with her and Alyssa says she’s a winner then quit worrying!” Maxwell jumped up and down in excitement. “I’m hungry! Liam do you have fruit roll-ups?”

“Fruit … roll-ups??” His brows furrowed in confusion. He never got an answer as Max had already skipped to the kitchen to rummage through the cabinets.

A knock on the door made Liam snap his head towards the sound and start to get up off the couch.

“I GOT IT!” Maxwell hollered and ran to open the door. “Sam! It’s fine! Prince Liam knows Ella is coming … no you don’t need to see the prince right now, Sam … Come on, Ella!” The door slammed and a moment later Max had tugged Ella into the living area. Bertrand and Liam stood and Maxwell grinned from ear to ear.

“Okay! So hi, I’m Maxwell! Alyssa told me soooo much about you! Want some Doritos??” He handed Ella the bag.

“I’m good, thanks,” she laughed. “Nice to meet you Max.” Ella turned to Liam and Bertrand. “Hello, Your Highness, Your Grace,” she gave them a small curtsy.

Liam smiled down at her, took her hand and kissed her knuckles softly. “Hello, Lady Ella.”

Bertrand cleared his throat. “I see you know how to curtsy and address your betters.”

Maxwell gave his brother a glare. “What Bertrand means is … he’s happy to meet you!”

Bertrand rolled his eyes. “Lady Ella, if you are to represent House Beaumont we will need to prepare you properly for the festivities in Applewood. We leave in a mere day and a half.”

There was another knock on the door. Liam cleared his throat. “Excuse me.” He opened the door and was surprised to see who was standing on the other side.

“What in the hell is going on?”

#RAMifications #Liam x MC #Liam x Ella #Liam Rys #trr fanfic #trr fandom #trr #trr au #choices trr #choices the royal romance #choices liam x mc #choices trr au #choices liam #the royal romance #the royal romance fandom #the royal romance fanfic #the royal romance fanfiction #the royal romance au #pixelberry #play choices

[blakelywintersfield]

As a victim of gun violence myself, I will be keeping my guns, thanks. Fear mongering? Maybe a little bit the fact is politicians absolutely “hell yes I want to take your AR15, your AK47”. They’ve said it often and loudly that they would like you to be disarmed. If you feel no one in your home is mentally stable enough for a gun, great, but you have zero right to tell others they should do the same.

1. If you're a victim of gun violence then the NRA gives absolutely NO fucks about you. You're not a victim of gun violence in their eyes, you're a victim of a criminal who happened to have a gun. Calling it "gun violence" is liberal propaganda to blame the gun, instead of the person. The gun didn't create the violence, the person did. That's their shitbrained logic and that's how they would respond to you if you told them (without disclosing if you're a gun owner or not) "I was a victim of gun violence." Because just like your dumb ass, they're not responsible gun owners, they're reactionary gun owners, and if you're reactionary as opposed to rational, you shouldn't have dangerous weapons, and your "you can't tell me what to do" 5-year-old attitude towards that would not hold up in a myriad of other scenarios. By your logic, suspending the driver's license of an elderly individual with dementia is unconstitutional. Not allowing someone with chronic seizures to drive is unconstitutional. Not allowing people to sell food without meeting safety and sanitation standards is unconstitutional. "You can't tell me what to do 'cause muh freedumb" isn't a fucking part of the constitution, you're just a chronic nationalist boot deep-throater whose mommy told him that the world owed him everything.

2. Where did I say guns should be taken away from you, or anyone else in my tags. Where? Here, I'll post the fucking screenshot of it and you can highlight it:

Please show me where I said "people should have their guns taken away" you reactionary cowardly fuck. I'll wait.

3. Politicians stating "no one needs a stockpile of AK47s" is not synonymous with "we want to take your guns". Gun buy-back programs that are VOLUNTARY are not the same as threatening to "take your guns". What benefit would you, as one person, gain from owning 5 semi-automatic weapons in the argument of "self-defense"? Are you going to wield one in each hand, one with each foot, and one with the mouth you can't seem to fucking shut? Do you think any of these weapons would protect you against government militia (which is what the second amendment is FOR, for one, and which the NRA does NOT condone if it's conservative sanctioned militia takeover) breaking into your property with a force of 10 people in bulletproof gear and military-grade weapons that could probably blow your fucking empty head off your body in one shot? Or do you like owning all of these shiny scary-looking toys for intimidation, thinking it'll protect you from future violence, like a fucking Halloween house made to scare away children? If that's your reasoning, then you definitely need therapy because that's textbook maladaptive coping with trauma -- I'd know because I have my own array of self-defense weapons that I got in response to my traumatic event, including a knife that could fatally gut an adult man with one stab. That's not a reasonable response to trauma!! But at least I can admit it! Your pisswad ass on the other hand can't, and views anyone saying "the NRA is a shit organization that doesn't support responsible gun ownership or the responsibility of gun owners and their actions, and is essentially a domestic terrorist grooming organization" as an attack on you as an individual, because you can't stomach the idea that maybe, just fucking maybe, you may be on that list of people who shouldn't have a gun because you're too mentally fucked up to be trusted with something like that, like people who are chronically suicidal (in other words, the MAJORITY OF GUN RELATED DEATHS), people with psychotic tendencies that can lead to hurting themselves or others (not because people with psychosis are "scary evil people", but because those moments of psychosis literally keep a person from making rational observations and decisions, and these individuals are already advised to have possible harmful tools locked up or just not in the house for their own safety), people like incels that believe if their entitlement is denied that they have the right to murder, etc. Honestly, you do sound like someone who shouldn't have guns, because your unstable ass probably read up to the second tag and skimmed the rest in a blind rage before sending an ask two days after I made that post, and seemed to conveniently miss the end:

What's your reasoning for the NRA keeping silent about responsible black gun owners being gunned down by police because the cops know they're legally registered gun owners (Jason Washington, Alton Sterling, Philando Castile, whom the NRA defended being murdered by police while pulled over for a traffic violation, in his car with his wife and CHILD, and verbally informed the cop like a responsible gun owner that he had a conceal and carry permit, and was reaching for his wallet in plain view of his family and the fucking pig)? What's your reasoning behind them callously dismissing police violence against black people who are unarmed or have a history of supporting gun control (Botham Jean, Clementa Pinckney, fucking JAMES SHAW JR., WHO STOPPED A MASS SHOOTING WHILE UNARMED HIMSELF), as though that makes it their fault they were murdered, injured, or otherwise victimized? What's your reasoning behind them only piping up about "muh guns" whenever politicians say "there's a gun problem" after the 29th public shooting that month, but not tackling the issue of gun control disproportionately impacting people of color while letting crazy little white kids run loose with a multitude of firearms? What's your reasoning behind them siding with idiot fascist Trump's temper tantrum over the NFL's protests on police violence -- something they, once again, consistently respond to with "they should've been armed" if the black person wasn't, and give complete fucking radio static to if the black person was armed (even if legally armed)? They're so against gun control, but never seem to care when it affects black and brown people -- only when Jack Incelson, age 16, who posts on 4chan about how he wants to cut women's heads off and fuck their dead bodies, is at risk of not being allowed to keep his AR15. If people of color are killed while armed, it's justified because "they had a gun"; if people of color are killed while unarmed, it's their fault because "they should've had a gun" -- this is something the NRA is notorious for, because they don't give a flying fuck about people who should have the right to arm themselves.

4. On that point: I fully support the Socialist Rifle Association, even as someone who does not want to own guns -- because, as stated in the post you're shitting your diaper over -- I support organizations that vouch for responsible gun owners. The SRA holds irresponsible gun owners accountable. They actually support people's right to bear arms to defend themselves against tyrannical government forces. They are active in disaster aid, in environmental defense, in protecting people of color. I do not like guns but I 100% support the SRA, because they fight for people who do need to arm themselves to have that right, and I support that sentiment. I believe people of color should be able to arm themselves. I believe queer people should be able to arm themselves. I believe poor people should be able to arm themselves. But the NRA doesn't actively fight for any of those groups' rights -- the SRA does.

But you know what the SRA doesn't do? Send out unsolicited letters begging lower-middle-class white people for money so they can "fight the gun-hating liberals" from "taking away our guns n freedumb" and offering "i <3 guns" bumper stickers and shit in return. They don't view any political party as their friend because they know that Republicans and Democrats alike do not actually want you to be able to defend yourself against the government. They don't send fear-mongering letters full of hyperbolic bullshit to scare people into thinking that Biden or Obama or whatever Democrat is in the office is going to break into your house with police, beat your wife and children, and steal your guns while cackling maniacally over you as you sob "why mister president? why would you do this to your loyal and patriotic citizens?" The SRA opposes gun control laws that unfairly target demographics that are at the highest risk of police violence. The NRA does not, and, in fact, has a very heavily documented history of siding with conservatism, including making statements about things that don't even involve guns -- stating that American men are being turned into "second-rate women", outcried banning anti-queer discrimination and compared the ban to slavery, made a call to imprison people protesting against Trump's Cabinet picks, called the Women's March anti-American. These are all recent you shithead, so you must be purposely ignoring all of this to feel justified in defending this domestic terrorist organization, or you're probably a self-victimizing white man who can't handle being told no. Or maybe both. I don't know and I don't fucking care.

Don't fucking message me again. Unfollow me if you were previously following me and haven't already. Get some fucking therapy instead of crawling through strangers' blogs trying to find a reason to justify your irrational anger at them. And while you're at it, do me a huge favor, you cowardly fucking cunt: go to your nearest sex shop, buy 5 gallons of lube, pour them over your guns, and shove each and every one of them, fully loaded, up your ass. That way you can keep a close eye on them since your head is obviously already lodged up there.

Alternatively, you can eat shit and die.

#welcome to the bpd space my empathy is at 0 for you and i would experience a heavenly degree of schadenfreude from watching you suffer #where did you think this was gonna go you dumb cunt? what did you think you'd accomplish? #what about my blog says ''i'm a friendly space for neo-conservative sacks of shit''? #the last tl;dr point of my byf literally says don't follow if you're republican/conservative #and you can pretend you're not all you want but if you see people condemning the nra while stating they support gun organizations that #stand for responsible gun ownership and your reaction is to send an angry ''fuk u deez er MUH GUNS U CANT TAKEEM FRUM ME'' you are reacting #the same way conservatives do. supporting people's rights to arm themselves does not mean you can't condemn shitty organizations like the #nra and in fact refusing to makes you an irresponsible gun owner in itself because you refuse to acknowledge organizations that mow down #people who need to arm themselves so that YOU can. #you don't care about people's rights you just don't want to be told no. like a fucking toddler. #anyways gonna tag some stuff for possible blacklists #violence against women #police brutality #racism #graphic descriptions of violence #long post #can't think of anything else y'all can lmk if there was something i missed

[terfetuloa]

I recently 'peaked' and started doing feel how you do about libfeminism too. I still struggle with this fear that I'm buying into some kinda fascist rhetoric (even though there's no evidence for that) but it makes me happy that there's a community on here of women, many lesbians and woc, who are speaking their mind freely

Hey anon! Beforehand, lemme apologize for replying to you this late, the past days were a bit hectic for me. I sincerely hope for this reply to reach you somehow. 

I'm glad you peaked! It's a hard and confusing process, mixed with disappointment over lots of stuff you've done before 'waking up' and towards people and discourses around you that consider your new opinions as something too extreme, hateful, or even devoid of serious analysis (as if you're just an irrational hateful person who can't think straight). When I first started to question my beliefs regarding gender ideology and trans rhetoric my immediate response to my doubts was to tell myself that I wasn’t a bad person. 

When you're systematically conditioned to hate the evil terfs and to shudder at the mention of radical feminism and terms alike, it's hard to get rid of this impression once you start to realize you're probably one of the evil terves. I had feelings along the lines of "I'm probably leaning towards radfem, but I'm not like them, I can be gender-critical and be a good person". See the problem? Lots of women full of doubts will never approach radical feminism and gender-critical concepts because it's rooted on their very core that said ideas are essentially evil, regressive, even fascist. 

I understand your fears, but after months interacting with radfems and TRAs I can assure you I never saw any radical feminist advocating for trans people to lose civil rights (like healthcare, housing, a job) or sending them rape and death threats, orchestrating campaigns for them to lose their jobs and to boycott their business... While all of this was already done by TRAs against women. As I said in my pinned post, I believe that there are trans people minding their own business, trying to live their best lives without claiming rights at the expense of female sex-based rights. But trans ideology on its political aspect is harmful. Harmful to women as their politics deny them their female-only spaces (like shelters, bathrooms, sports), erase language concerning female reality (by saying "people who menstruate", "people with wombs", "people with vulvas"), by hurting children, especially gender non-conforming young girls (by reinforcing the idea they have to get hysterectomies/mastectomies, puberty blockers that will ruin their physical development, testosterone with its everlasting effects)... 

I see trans ideology as a selfish liberal agenda that only reinforces the ties within which patriarchy holds women submissive. Try to ask a trans activist about what's a woman and be ready to listen 1) circular definitions (a woman is a woman), 2) stereotypical aspects of femininity as equivalent to womanhood (women are fragile, delicate, they like pink and makeup), 3) the "lady brain" argument (neurosexism), 4) the transcendental argument (a woman is a feeling)... And we know that's not why we're women. We're women because we're adult human females. The material reality of my body explains why I was socialized a certain way, why I'm the target of some specific forms of violence. Yes, across cultures gender roles change and the perceptions of what "looks like" a woman or a man too. But the material reality of what is a woman and a man doesn't change.

What makes me a woman is the same thing that defines what's a woman in Sri Lanka, Ghana, Austria, or even in an isolated indigenous tribe in the middle of Bolivia. You know this, everybody knows this, even those too delusional to raise the trans flag know this. If they didn't they wouldn't be so eager to crucify women daring to say the truth, desperately trying to change the meaning or words, and coercively trying to change reality. To call out a woman for stating facts about her material reality accusing her of being a bigot, someone equivalent to a nazi is PURE MISOGYNY. Most of the time you don't even have to say "trans women are men" to receive your Evil Terf badge. You just have to say "women menstruate" or anything related to your experiences as a female. And the backlash is HUGE. So, who are the fascists here? Not the women raising their voices against a male-centered movement trying to pass as an oppressed minority whose tormentors are "privileged cis" women. 

So don't feel afraid, you're not aligning yourself with a fascist movement. It's hard to act based upon what we feel in a world where critical women are haunted down like witches (side note: curious how "oppressed queer people" have such power under capitalism, right?), but you can try to see if you're lucky enough to have any of your irl friends agreeing with you, you can go anonymous and ask questions, you can create a side blog and make new friends... There are lots of smart women here to listen to your questions and share their experiences. Eventually, your fear will pass and you'll find yourself. Be safe, anon.

#drop the t #terf safe #terfs please touch #terfs please interact #peak trans #ask

[do-not-eat-the-dove]

I need to write this, I need to write this because I am so fucking angry. I am so, so fucking angry, and every problematic shipper I want you to read this. Read it, all the way through, because if you don’t then you are ignoring children you might have harmed.

Tw’s for: beastiality mention, sexual abuse mention, paedophilia mention, typical darkfic trigger warnings in essential

When I was nine, I moved into the Aphmau fandom. Earlier than that, I was an avid reader of Harry potter. Earlier than that, I was into stampy cat and iballisticsquid and skydoesminecraft. I have been in fandoms earlier than my body can remember, and I started in on wattpad when I was very, very young. Just writing, only writing. I had a vague understanding of what sex and smut was as a child, because of unmoderated youtube thumbnails. I ran into sexual themes online, because that is what a child does okay? I will admit that I knew about sex as a child if only barely.

As a kid in fandom, you don't know how to moderate things. As a literal fucking elementary schooler who doesn’t know how to differentiate “Their” “They’re” and “There”, you do not know the difference between right and wrong. You do not understand what an 18+ warning is, and you don’t know what the fuck a dead dove is and why anyone would want to eat it in the first place. You do not understand, and i think that this is something that problematic content creators expect of literal fucking children, and i also think that it is extremely irrational and condescending for you to do so.

When I was a bit older, maybe twelve/thirteen, I found ao3. I found twitter, tumblr, bnha and anime. I was excited because it was a community, so I became super involved as fast as I could. I had still not hit puberty yet. I hadn’t even learned the pythagorean theorem yet. I didn’t entirely understand variables and I had no clue that washing your face was basic hygiene. I am bringing this up to display to you that I. WAS. A. CHILD. A kid. Five years ago at this point I still had trouble jump-roping. I was a kid who had average decision-making skills for their age and who found the idea of boys gross, crushes were based on who was fastest in gym class.

I let go of tumblr because I couldn’t grasp what on earth it was supposed to be used for and how it was supposed to be used, I posted shitty depressed memes on reddit because I thought I was edgy. And then I got involved in fandom twitter.

Me, my friends, we recommended each other cute ship threads and discussed Notps and did “toxic fandom stuff” because we were children who still celebrated valentines day with sweet-tarts and holographic paper cards. I still knew jack shit about sex and relationships because as a child sex education is just “this is a penis, this is a vagina, this is how you don’t get pregnant, any questions?” 

So when one day, i decide to type “BNHA” into the search bar of twitter, intent on finding cute things to share with my online friends and instead am greeted with a picture of a character raping another character, I don’t know exactly what to do.

Let me repeat that; I looked up JUST the word “BNHA”. Just that. Nothing else. 

And I, a child, who has no decision making skills, clicks on the post. Because it makes me feel funny, and children are curious.

As a middle schooler. As a child who had the average physical and mental capacity to resist impulse, aka none, as someone who used Uwu and OwO unironically, who thought spelling “as” with a Z made me quirky and fun, discovered a main-tagged post of a character being nsfwed in a sexual assault.

From here, I explored. What you people don’t get is that is what children do. That is what children DO. And you, in all your wonderful wise ways, decide that it is on ME. On someone who had no understanding of what this was, to be the adult and say “I do not think this is right.” You, the thirty year old woman who maintags, are saying that to me, who was a twelve year old. 

I think the most traumatic thing I read during that time was an aged-down character, who went from fifteen to five, being sexually abused and pimped out by his mother and forced to have sexual contact with dogs.

Today, I suffer from intense intrusive thoughts that I do not think I need to be diagnosed for, because constantly wondering if you’re going to be sexually assaulted by every single man you come in contact with, having to shoo away evil disgusting thoughts that have made you involuntarily gag and nearly vomit, having to deal with these awful things in my brain is proof enough. Today, I have such a deep-rooted fear of sex and men and relationships that despite me being entirely Heterosexual, wanting children in the future, having these ideas of a family, I feel incapable. 

Today, I saw a fic saying that it was my own fault if I found their problematic fic, and today I raged for every child that is going to be messed up by people who choose to blameshift just because they want to use maintags. 

As fandom spaces get younger, and the fan age range grows bigger I have noticed a distinct uptick in who is reading and consuming fan content on social media. I know eleven year olds, ten year olds, I have met a nine year old child who messaged like they were twenty. All of these children read fanfiction of characters that they adore, and click on fics that include those characters because they adore them.

I’m going to share another experience that I’ve had with sex and sexual abuse that was self-inflicted, but normalized by the content that I had consumed. As a child, a thirteen year old, I messaged adult men. I went on omegle text chat, I found forums for sexual roleplay, I talked to probably a dozen adults in sexual manners without them knowing or realizing. Even a few women, and I am completely certain this experience is going to scar me until the day that I fucking pass. It makes me feel empty inside, but you know what? Your fics normalized that for me. I read a tweet from an adult, someone much older than me, who talked about having gone into adult spaces as a child. They did the same thing as me. It is a trend, but while I recognize that I was too young to know what I was seeing, reading, hearing from people who were older than me and therefore authority figures, they blamed themself. And that is the most heartbreaking fucking thing.

When you maintag. When you use a main tag, that a child who does not know how to filter out scrolls down on, and they decide that this will be an okay thing for them to consume because adults know better, will you look them in the eyes and tell them the fear of things they don’t understand and haven’t even been introduced to yet is their fault? Will you tell them that ao3 is an adult site for adults and it’s their fault for being stupid enough to read it? Will you tell them that the images that will play in their minds for years until they’re desensitized and so so scared that they’re now a bad person because of it, will you tell them that it was their fault for clicking on it when they were seven, eight, nine? 

Frankly, I do not give a shit about what you write. If it is in rpf and you still push it i will think you are a bad person, but other than that I could never care less. But I do care what you tag, because If you write the word bnha on twitter with an image of a young child's favorite character being sexually brutalised? If you maintag a fic where someone is starved till they are nearly dead, infantilised, sexually abused during all of it, and leave it out in the open on a site you know has children, in a fandom you know is targeted towards kids. If your tags leave a child open for attack, harm, mental scarring? I care, because I will not let another child be blamed for something they themselves did not fully understand the weight of.

#fandom #anti anti #problematic authors #problematic shipping #ao3 #archive of our own #tw #tumblr #fanfic #fandom space #I have never talked about these experiences with anyone but if there is a time to talk about it it is now.

[sailormoonandme]

My thoughts regarding the Usagi/Mamoru age gap

I am writing this in response to this thread.

To be clear as crystal here, this is just my take on the situation.

With all that said, for the sake of argument let's say we are in total agreement that in real life a 14 year old middle schooler and a 17 year old college student shouldn't be dating.*

But that is the key phrase here: 'Real life'.

The thing is...there is no end of fairy tales or media aimed at children that at best start to fall apart or at worst become extremely creepy when you apply a realistic lens to it.

That is the joke about the majority of Disney's canon in fact. For instance, Aladdin was 18 whilst Jasmine was 16. I'm British and over here 16 is the legal age of consent for sex but even so I'm at least iffy on a 16 year old dating an 18 year old. And to trade off some of the comments elsewhere in the above linked thread, you could absolutely argue there was a 'mental gap' between Al and Jas given how she was a sheltered and somewhat naive princess who'd never left the palace and he was a streetwise older guy who'd obviously flirted and charmed his way out of trouble before.

But let's consider a different Disney classic, perhaps their most famous movie, the Lion King.

The Lion King is a beloved and rightly iconic movie but if you take it at face value and realistically (albeit ignoring the fact that animals can talk, sing and are capable of human emotions and cultural references) it's guilty of:

Promoting incest because Simba and Nala would have at best been first cousins (Nala being Scar's daughter) at worst brother and sister. Because that is how lions work. Male lions murder the cubs of other males with the possible exceptions of their brother's cubs where they co-rule a pride. Even with the best case scenario, deleted scenes had Scar try to make Nala his queen and those scenes were reinserted for the hit Broadway musical. So either a brother and sister hook up or two first cousins hook up and a Dad tried to have sex with his daughter.

Promoting racial/class segregation: The Hyenas are from the 'dark shadowy' place and are given traits you can easily interpret as associated with black, Hispanic, Latinex or mentally disabled people. They are also framed with Nazi imagery and it is Scar's decision to let them roam freely that causes famine. Simba beats them, they are forced back to 'where they came from' and all is well.

Promoting authoritarian absolute monarchies. That's the whole movie's plot. Simba must embrace his destiny as the 'rightful ruler' of the pridelands whereby all other animals bow down to him. It's not even like the lions are the ruling class and they are at least democratic amongst themselves, it's literally this ONE specific bloodline that is not only in charge but is SUPPOSED to be in charge. Even if the wrong person from that bloodline is in charge the entire land suffers until the 'right' person takes the throne. That's a pretty terrible and pretty anti-democratic message isn't it, and that's coming from someone who lives in a country WITH a monarchy.

And, I admit this one is a serious stretch, but you could even argue that it's saying two men raising a child is a detriment to said child. Because Timon and Pumba raise Simba into an adult and the movie is very clear that he's grown up wrong, he is not the person he should be because he's embraced Timon and Pumba's upbringing.

So you see...the Lion King is mega terrible.

Except it isn't.

Because we all have the cognitive ability and understanding to grasp that you are not SUPPOSED to take it that realistically nor at face value. Even as children we grasped that, hence the generation that grew up with the Lion King (by and large) obviously don't think incest is okay, don't oppose same sex couples raising children, don't think segregation is a good idea and clearly do not think monarchies are the bee's knees.

Maybe as kids people couldn't put it into words, but material like this essentially exists in this realm of symbolism, psychological shorthand if you will.

In fact all fairy tales do that.

And Sailor Moon IS a fairy tale, or at the very least it borrows a whole lot from fairy tales.

In addition to being a fairy tale though Sailor Moon is a wish fulfillment fantasy story intended for a female audience (or at least a predominantly female audience).

Now of course what one woman's wish fulfillment fantasy might be may not be another's and I wouldn't be so presumptuous as to argue that Sailor Moon even clicks with the wish fulfillment fantasies of MOST female audience members. But I think it's fair to say from the cultural impact it has had, and how it's fanbase is clearly mostly made up of women, that the wish fulfillment fantasy it offers clicks with a sizeable enough number of women.

The reverse is true of something intended as a male wish fulfillment fantasy. James Bond was obviously intended as a male wish fulfillment fantasy, and it's success speaks to how it clearly clicked with a sizable enough number of people. And I don't think I'm being overly presumptuous here when i say MOST of those people were male.**

Both SM and 007 are wish fulfillment power fantasies but they are also romantic/sexual fantasies too.***

I don't think it's unreasonable to argue that for a sizable number (but not necessarily the majority) of women, including the tween/teen girls SM was aimed at, having an OLDER lover is a romantic wish fulfillment fantasy. On the flipside I don't think it's unreasonable to argue that for a sizable number of men and boys having an endless string of casual and completely consequence free sexual encounters with (traditionally speaking) gorgeous women who find you incredibly attractive is a sexual wish fulfillment fantasy.

And the thing is BOTH those things can become bad when you apply a realistic lens to either of them.

James Bond's sex life realistically would involve at least a few sexually transmitted diseases, unintended pregnancies (one of which occurs in the novels) and at least a few callously broken hearts. Even when you look at it strictly from Bond's POV that life only seems glamorous at first glance. Perhaps it is a fun fantasy, but only when it remains in the realm of fantasy. Because in real life that kind of life if lived long term is ultimately incredibly empty and unfulfilling. Even James Bond media has acknowledged this because there have been occasions in the novels and films where he has at least attempted to settle down with a stable partner. Many Bond fans (understandably) decry this as undermining part of the appeal of the character hence Bond inevitably defaults back to being single because that is a baked in part of the wish fulfillment fantasy the character offers.

Let's consider some other ways the Sailor Moon anime offers a wish fulfillment fantasy, namely the future of Crystal Tokyo.

At first glance it seems wonderfully utopic right. It is a beautiful crystalline world where everyone lives in peace and harmony, hunger disease and even aging having been functionally eliminated.

Well, that isn’t the case if you apply a realistic lens to it.

It's an absolute monarchy wherein everyone is functionally immortal and children don't reach maturity even after 900 years. Chibi-Usa clearly chafes at this reality so how do you imagine other children (who aren't royalty) might feel? How might their parents feel having to raise their children and be responsible for them for centuries as opposed to around twentysomething years? What if you became immortal in your 80s, you might be a very healthy 80 year old but you aren't in the prime of your life and you are stuck that way for what is essentially forever. Not to mention what if you don't like or do not agree with Neo-Queen Serenity's policies? What if they are actively detrimental to you, your family, your livelihood, etc? You can't vote her out of power and you can't even hope for things to change because everyone is healthy, provided for and lives forever. The chances of someone else coming to power are at best very, very, very slim.

Then you have the fact that it’s surely a society that would’ve stagnated because everyone is provided for. That’s the whole point of a utopia. It is perfection. But what if you are someone who defined your live by striving for improvement? What if you were a doctor and now found yourself redundant. Sure, you might acknowledge that’s for the greater good but you are still yourself left completely without purpose in this world.

And that’s not even considering the inevitable monotony of existing for hundreds of years. Modern medicine and science has allowed human beings to extend their life spans FAR beyond how long we’d live if we were still just cave people. As biological organisms are concerned we never evolved to live for 80-90 years. Even if your body isn’t breaking down across the centuries the human mind would never realistically be able to cope with centuries worth of memories and life experiences. Mental illnesses and conditions would be rife. If nothing else living in that world would sooner or later become utterly BORING!

Hate to say it and obviously it doesn’t justify their methods, but the Black Moon Clan kind of have some valid points against the world of Crystal Tokyo. At least they do when you break things down REALISTICALLY.

And that’s my thesis here. Sailor Moon isn’t supposed to be dissected realistically, at least not to THAT degree. It is a wish fulfilment fairy tale fantasy and demands a certain amount of suspension of disbelief and understanding of what the fantasy is offering.

And for the record I can 100% assure that no teenager in real life has, or could, ever get into a harmful relationship with someone older than them BECAUSE they watched Usagi and Mamoru’s relationship in the anime.

The human mind is a very complex and very powerful thing. At a younger age it’s impressionable and can therefore be influenced. But it’s not so susceptible that the romantic relationships in a cartoon about schoolgirl super heroes is going to influence a viewer into making any major life decisions that OTHER factors weren’t also influencing them to do.

In other words if a real life 14 year old girl began dating a 17 year old college guy it would’ve happened regardless of whether they watched Sailor Moon as a child or not.

Indeed, one of my frustrations with the podcast Sailor Business is how many guests on the show cite how they liked Usagi and Mamoru as children but now think their relationship is bad and creepy. I disagree with them for the reasons I cited above, but the fact that those panellists nigh universally give that same narrative proves how nobody was ever going to be prompted to do anything potentially harmful to themselves in real life by the show.

*Personally speaking that is certainly my own off the cuff attitude.

**Not to dismiss the fans who aren't, same goes for the non-female SM fans.

***Although I think you could argue SM is more on the romance side of things and 007 on the sexual side of things.

#My Essays #bishojo senshi sailor moon #pretty soldier sailor moon #pretty guardian sailor moon #sailor moon #tuxedo mask #mamoru chiba #chiba mamoru #usagi tsukino #tsukino usagi #James Bond #007 #Lion King #The Lion King #Disney #Crystal Tokyo

[mevekagvain]

Chapter 121 - I hope none of the birds affected by the sleeping gas died from falling from a height, especially if they fell on concrete. I don't think the gas itself would affect the birds but it also very well might since they can't handle as much due to being much smaller animals or from not being able to handle the chemicals used.

Chapter 122 - Shark's expressions are so hideous 🤢

- At least Raizel knows how to be nice by sharing food lmao. Frankenstein beaming like a proud father of a 2-year-old who's doing that is definitely not praxis though.

Chapter 124 - Shark being astounded that nobles care about innocents is amusing. I suppose that aside from the Elders, the Union members think nobles consider other species to be inferior or like cockroaches or toys.

- Although I do find Frankenstein plotting to teach Seira cooking so she can cook for Raizel when he can't extremely funny, I do also find it somewhat disturbing. He's essentially making a teen girl do child labour. Yes she and Regis are imposing on him and I do think they should be doing some manner of chores, but making her cook lavish meals? I also know she's doing it willingly but it still makes me cringe since something being one's choice doesn't negate it being bad. And yes technically she's 'of age' since she's 217, whatever that means since she's still obviously a teen compared to Raizel who actually is an adult going to school with children (which is a whole other can of worms), but aside from her position as clan leader she's very obviously not viewed as an adult by most.

Chapter 125 - On one hand I'd love to get a front row seat to the internal drama within the DA-5 lile M-21 but otoh I don't want to die a painful death or get beaten up.

- So like obviously Seira knows that Raizel and Frankenstein aren't ordinary humans unlike Regis but it is hilarious to think she just told the truth to two men she thinks are frail innocent humans.

Chapter 127 - You'd really think that the Union would be investing more into memory altering drugs but nah. The only ones they have will also fuck your brain up. Really not a good idea when most of your agents/experiments obviously have been administered aforementioned drugs. If it was only used sparingly on civilians I'd get it but it's quite widespread so...

Chapter 128 - As much as Frankenstein complains about the mess the kids make, he enjoys having them over as much as Raizel does. Soft hearted bastard.

Chapter 130 - The girls bandaging M-21 up even as Regis fights has them being smarter than like 90% of other characters in media. They're the real reason he didn't hit the dust immediately smh.

Chapter 132 - I still think the coming of age ceremony has a 50% chance of actually being them ingesting drugs that are the equivalent of stat boosting items in games but also ya know, real world drugs that fuck you up. The other 50% is just them getting much stronger after they turn 200 because their bodies are just like that and it truly is purely ceremonial and a fun tradition like children's day or girl's day or birthdays rather than something that actually affects them.

- Lol Kranz, Regis won't be leaving a corpse if he dies. Purebloods are just special like that. Can you imagine if they did see a pureblood dying? They'd regret killing them so bad.

Chapter 133 - Raizel commanding Frankenstein to stop his experiments is definitely something, like bro maybe he was figuring out electrolysis, not like you know what he was doing. Plus it's not like Frankenstein listened completely. Man has a lab under his house and it wasn't built after Raizel woke. I guess he only stopped modification experiements on others and only did checkups on himself but didn't stop experimenting for other stuff like idk, better fertiliser.

- Kinda amazing Takeo didn't get stabbed in the heart.

Chapter 137 - I know it's just because Gejutel likely explained the lord's powers to him but the idea that Regis knows what a blood field is because Raskreia does demonstrations to entertain little kids is making me giggle.

Chapter 140 - So the Union only came upon Frankenstein's research 540 years ago... that's only 40 years before Raskreia became lord. Interesting.

- Ah yes... the classic joke of Tao not teaching Takeo korean properly. It's also very amusing envisioning Tao teaching the DA-5 members korean.

- ARIS ARIS ARIS. God she looks adorbs. Also I love her referring to DA-5 as 'my children' and 'my babies'. Aris >>> all other scientists. Amd hi Yuri :)

Chapter 141 - Yuri listening to Aris insulting Crombel repeatedly,,, he probably enjoys every aspect of it from knowing she's not aware he's his underling to being able to hear someone insult Crombel.

- Once again union members don't know jack shit. They think werewolves are extinct while Maduke and Lunark are literally Elders 😭🤡😭

- Werewolves having a small population never made sense to me even with the whole thing about them not having mind control and thus keeping away from humans secretly since even civilians are stronger than humans on average but like why tf would wolves have such a low reproduction rate? And that's why I hc that 90% of them are just homosexual.

Chapter 142 - D doesn't consume your lifeforce bro. That's just the drugs causing heavy strain on the body, etc etc. The rest of your explanation was fine but talking about lifeforce or vitality makes no sense.

- We all know Yuri's smart but the fact that he tries to get Frankenstein as a subject by scouting him first is very clever. It's believable too since Frankenstein is supposed to be quite handsome.

Chapter 144 - Well we don't know of Crombel microchips his Assassination Squad but Aris canonically microchips her experiments 🤣

Chapter 147 - Okay but this panel... she's hot. I'd let her dissect me <3

- If this was some other media I'd talk about the symbolism of the attack looking like a rapier and go on for a paragraph but this is Noblesse so it's obviously just a coincidence lmao.

- "A living robot" so like... a cyborg.

Chapter 148 - Yuri getting pissed at being attacked and retaliating but pretending it was him being loyal to Aris... Love it. Also he must be really confused as to who tf Frankenstein is since as one of Crombel's most important lackeys he'd definitely know about such a powerful experiment under him if they existed and thus unlike Aris knows that he's not been sent by Crombel.

Chapter 149 - Yup def confused, especially when he realises Frankenstein's power is like Crombel's.

Chapter 150 - Girlboss,,, also it's been years and I'm still wondering... why is her outfit like that? Neon genesis evangelion girlboss does have a ring to it though.

- Ah yes, Taivra time.

Chapter 151 - Okay yeah I feel so bad for Takeo but also Aris is so good at manipulating him and and and iwi. The fact that she can cry on command though... impressive.

- "From the beginning you were an only child. That's why I got you to experiment on." Okay cool time to ignore that again for my own amusement of having all of noblesse's named modified human women be related to Takeo.

- Okay I'm obsessed with strawberry milk myself but strawberries do not taste anywhere near that good. Not even the sweet ones.

Chapter 153 - Yeah no I don't agree that Takeo losing his will to live is an insult to your comrades M-21. You could have said all that in a gentler way. Just because Takeo was luckier than you experiment wise doesn't mean you get to be so rude.

Chapter 154 - M-21 misleading Tao and Takeo to thinking he's being experimented on and then turning around to laugh at them when they find out it's just ramyeon... mood.

- I really do wonder what 12th Elder's military medals are for.

Sidenotes - Hammer being smart <3 I honestly didn't remember that part of him and I'm glad he's not given purely negative traits. He's the only reason Shark lived past 2 chapters tbh.

- Truly, D is one of the worst letters of the alphabet to have named the drugs DA-5 uses. The other bad choice would be P. On the opposite end of the spectrum, T would have been a great choice for the irony. Not that it matters since the inspiration for the drug from name to physical transformation is obviously 🍆

- Nobles being so nonchalant about murder is kinda fucked up like yeah they suck but you can't just kill them??? Lukedonia my beloved your justice system sucks. I do hc they can't just do this in Lukedonia though or to other nobles even if outside of Lukedonia, it's just that the jurisdiction of nobles doesn't apply outside of Lukedonia and they do on some level think of themselves as a superior species so they're fine with just... killing people.

- Aris obsessing over handsome men as experiments and treating them like toys but ignoring women altogether? Not experimenting on women? Gaslight gatekeep girlboss,,, a feministe of our own,,, perhaps even a... lesbienne. But yeah I just love how she acts and I love her and how she interacts with Yuri. And yeah he's cool too.

- Tbh aside from how short the skirts are and the white blazers, the Ye Ran uniform really reminds me of my own school's uniform. The colours are exactly the same. We just didn't have blazers since it was a forever summer tropical country, only jumpers for if it got too cold in the air conditioned rooms. And for some people who grow up in tropical countries... 25°C can be too cold.

#noblesse #raining while reading #volume 2 done

[the-real-slim-shady]

Transgender and Non-Binary People: The Facts and Science Behind Them

I wrote this essay a while ago, after I had an argument with my mom about transgender people, and I figured I'd share it, it’s really long, so feel free to just skim it and find the important parts lol.

    In recent years, gender issues have become much more prevalent in our society. People who are transgender and non-binary finally feel comfortable being who they are, but there are still people who think transgender and non-binary people don’t exist. Some believe that they’re just seeking attention, or that all of their problems could be solved with therapy. This is a tricky topic because it is hard to scientifically prove how a person feels in their body.

    People usually think of the words “sex” and “gender” as interchangable, but this is in fact incorrect. In general terms, the word “sex” refers to the biological differences between men and women, such as the genitalia and genetic differences. “Gender” is more ambiguous, and harder to define. Gender usually refers to the role of a man and woman in society or an individual’s concept of themselves. To put it simply, sex is in the body, gender is in the mind. Sometimes a person’s genetically assigned sex does not line up with their gender. These individuals usually refer to themselves as transgender, non-binary, or genderfluid.

    We all learn in middle school that the last pair of chromosomes we have determines our sex. XX for a woman and XY for a man. Sex, however, is not that simple. The male/female split is often seen as a man-or-woman binary, but this is not entirely true. Some men are born with two or three X chromosomes as well as a Y, and some women are born with a Y chromosome. In some cases, a child is born with a mix between male and female genitalia. This is sometimes deemed intersex, and parents can decide which gender to assign to the child, but sometimes the child feels neither male nor female or disagrees with their parents’ decision. A person can be female if they have an X and Y chromosome but they are insensitive to androgens, so they have a female body. A person can have an X and Y chromosome and have a female body because their Y is missing the SRY gene. A person can have two X chromosomes and have a male body because one of their X’s has a SRY gene. A person can be female because they only have one X chromosome. A person can be male because they have two X chromosomes and one Y. A person can be male because you have two X chromosomes but your heart and brain are male and a person can be female with an X and a Y because their heart and mind feel stuck inside the wrong body.

    Most people’s sex and gender line up. The expectation that if you’re assigned a male at birth, you’re a man, and you’re assigned female at birth you’re a woman, lines up for people who are cisgender. But for people who are transgender or non-binary, the sex they’re assigned at birth may not align with the gender they know themselves to be. The concepts of gender and sex are socially constructed. We as a society assign gender and sex based on socially agreed upon characteristics. Dresses, the color pink, makeup, long hair, painted nails, and high heels belong to women, but we have seen in the past that this wasn’t always true, and as time goes on, the gendering of the aforementioned products is fading. This doesn’t mean that body parts and functions are “made up”, it just means that we categorize and define things in ways that could actually be different.

    The transgender and non-binary identity has long been associated with poor mental health and trauma that can be “cured” by therapy. Science however, says otherwise. Transgender women tend to have brain structures that resemble cisgender women rather than cisgender men. The bed nucleus of the stria terminalis (BSTc) in transgender women is more similar to cisgender women than cisgender men, and the BSTc in transgender men more closely resembles that of a cisgender man. Science tells us that gender is not binary, it may even be a linear spectrum. Like other facets of identity, it can operate on a large range of levels and operate outside of many definitions. Transgender and non binary individuals are not suffering from a mental illness or carefully “choosing” a different identity. The transgender and non-binary identity is multi dimensional, but it deserves no less respect or recognition than any other facet of humankind.

    It is essential to understand the difference between transgender people and non binary people. Transgender people feel like their assigned sex is wrong, and therefore change their gender and sometimes undergo surgery. Non-binary and genderqueer people identify themselves with neither an exclusively male or female gender, their gender identity is beyond the gender binary, sometimes fluctuates between genders, or rejects the gender binary. People who are genderqueer or genderfluid alternate between genders. Kind of like a craving for food, one day they will feel like one gender and wish to be addressed as such, and maybe in a day or a week they’ll feel like another gender and some days they will feel like no gender at all. This may seem to some people like they should just make up their minds, but trust me, if they could they would. Non binary people, however, feel like no gender, and will always feel like they belong outside the gender binary. Science has yet to provide an insight into the non-binary identity and whether there’s any scientific basis to them.

    Some people say that transgender and non binary individuals are just feeling gender dysphoria, and they can overcome it. Gender dysphoria is actually just a name for how transgender and onbinary people feel before they come out: feeling that your emotional or psychological identiy as male or female to be opposite to your biological sex. Gender dysphoria is a strong desire to be rid of your sex characteristics because you feel like they don’t belong to you. It is a strong desire for the sex characteristics of the other gender, or no sex charecteristics at all. It is a strong desire to be treated as another gender. It is a strong conviction that you are not the gender you were born as.

    Some people believe that gender dysphoria for transgender and non-binary people can be solved by therapy. However, researchers analyzed survey responses from more than 27,000 transgender adults accross the US with a roughly even mix of transgender women and transgender men. People who had undergone conversion therapy at some point in their lives were twice as likely to have attempted suicide than someone who had not. About 70% said they had talked to a professional at some point about their gender identity and of those 70%, 20% had undergone conversion therapy. All of the aforementioned people are still transgender.

    In addition, many medical associations and academies have spoken out against conversion therapy. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry “finds no evidence to support the application of any “therapeutic intervention” operating under the premise that a specific sexual orientation, gender identity, and/or gender expression is pathological. Furthermore, based on the scientific evidence, the AACAP asserts that such ‘conversion therapies’ lack scientific credibility and clinical utility. Additionally, there is evidence that such interventions are harmful. As a result, ‘conversion therapies’ should not be part of any behavioral health treatment of children and adolescents."

    The American Academy of Pediatrics says “"Confusion about sexual orientation is not unusual during adolescence. Counseling may be helpful for young people who are uncertain about their sexual orientation or for those who are uncertain about how to express their sexuality and might profit from an attempt at clarification through a counseling or psychotherapeutic initiative. Therapy directed specifically at changing sexual orientation is contraindicated, since it can provoke guilt and anxiety while having little or no potential for achieving changes in orientation."

    Since the beginnning of the non-binary movement, it has gathered skepticism, critisism, derision, and even violence. Many non-binary people (and transgender people too) are accused of being “special snowflakes” or “drama queens” and “attention whores”. However, this criticism ignores the fact that gender identity is largely personal. In addition, something as simple as the way you wish to be identified tends to cause hatred to be sent your way. There is little critisim towards non-binary people that can be directed towards them in a constructive matter. If a non-binary person is in fact “just doing it for attention” the name calling and hatred would just be feeding into their desire for attention and giving them exactly what they want!

    Finally, if exploring your gender identity is a “trend” as some have called it, then isn’t it better than the previous trend of feeling isolated and alone and having absolutely no way to be who you are and say what you feel? In light of the current lack of any scientific evidence as to the biological nature of non-binary transsexuality, it is best to act in the same way as any situation where there is a phenomenon yet to be proven by science: doubt, skepticism, and open-mindedness, which accepts the potential for truth, but does not assume it.

    Some people are against the idea of calling a transgender or non-binary person their chosen pronouns because they disagree with the way that said person identifies themselves, and they reserve the right to their freedom of speech. Dr. Jordan Peterson is one of these people.

    Dr. Peterson is a psychology professor at the University of Toronto. He released a video lecture series taking aim at political correctness. He was frustrated with being asked to use alternative pronouns requested by trans and non-binary students and staff. “I’ve studied authoritarianism for a very long time, for forty years,” Dr Peterson told the BBC. “It starts by people’s attempts to control the ideological and linguistic territory. There’s no chance I’m going to use words made up by people who are doing that, not a chance.” Dr Peterson is concerned proposed federal human rights legislation will elevate his refusal to use alternative pronouns into hate speech. There is currently a bill in Canada that prohibits discrimination under the Canadian Human Rights Act on the basis of gender identity and expression. Under this bill, Dr. Peterson is not guilty of hate speech, but he could face sanction under Ontario’s human rights code which extended protection to trans people in 2012.

    Conservatives like Dr. Peterson have conjured up images of good people being dragged off to jail for not calling a person by their chosen pronouns. To the contrary, as legal scholars like Brenda Cossman and Kyle Kirkup have patiently explained, the bill in Canada cannot lead to anything remotely like this. But the milk has been spilled, and rants have been recorded, and the subtext is that there is a segment of society accustomed to others accommodating their freedom but not the other way around.

    Some people are confused as to why calling someone by their chosen pronouns constitutes as human rights, but I am confused about something else: In what kind of society does the question of whether we should respect people provoke a major debate? In what kind of society does the sentiment “you can’t make me” constitute a compelling argument?

    In conclusion, there’s no reason to discriminate against non-binary people or transgender people because contrary to the popular belief, you’re not being morally or intellectually superior, you’re just being rude. Use their prefered name and pronouns. I promise it won’t kill you.

#transgender #non binary #social issues #transgender essay #non binary essay #LGBTQ rights

[nanossaestante]

The Truth about the Harry Quebert Affair

Inglês não? Leia em português

By Mari

-

The “Truth about the Harry Quebert Affair”, by Swiss author Joël Dicker, has a pretty objective premise: a 15-year-old girl disappears in 1975 in a small town in New Hampshire, in the United States. Her body is found 33 years later, buried in the garden of a famous writer—Harry Quebert—who, shocker, had an affair with the girl when the writer himself was already 34 years old. This writer's pupil, Marcus Goldman, then decides to investigate the crime and gather evidence to clear Harry’s name.

The novel has all the elements of a good murder mystery: a murder that, at first glance, doesn't seem to make any sense, a set of characters that hide more secrets than they appear and plot twists until the very last minute. These are, in fact, the book's strong points. The solution to the mystery is not obvious; although one may suspect who the murderer may have been, the motivation and circumstances in which all occurred are not clear until the end. The writing is very dynamic and the pages practically turn themselves—when you see it, you have already read 100 at once. With each question answered, three new doubts arise and even that which had been taken for granted is put in doubt in the last chapters with a highly intelligent twist that shows the dangers of an out-of-context narrative.

An interesting aspect of the book is its metalanguage: it is a book about a book, in the format of the book that is described in the book. At the beginning of each chapter, we have a dialogue between Quebert and Goldman with lessons on how to be a good writer. Part of them is directly related to the way the chapter is presented, functioning as a kind of Chekhov's gun.

That said, Dicker builds mystery and suspense well. The novel is a good murder mystery, the overall plot is stimulating and intelligent. The problem lies with the conductors of the plot: the characters.

Perhaps I set expectations too high. I got too used to novels with good mysteries and engaging characters that you really care about (Carlos Ruiz Zafón, I'm looking at you). In “The Truth About the Harry Quebert Affair”, what moved me was just the excruciating curiosity to know who had killed whom. I didn't really care about Quebert's fate, his relationships with Goldman, or anything that had to do with the characters, who were so obviously made of cardboard.

A very common—but no less irritating—mistake in novels that rely heavily on the characters' own narrative is to have them all speaking with the same voice. Of course, the words change, the content changes: if the character is mean, they will say petty things, if they are optimistic, they will say optimistic things. But the way of speaking is essentially the same: the pauses, the cadence, the way the story flows, the interjections. Basically, all narratives are the same. This even reminded me of The Magnus Archives (an incredibly well-written horror podcast, 10/10 recommend), in which, for reasons explained throughout story, people who testify about their supernatural experiences become ridiculously competent narrators. Unfortunately, there are no mystical causes that explain this phenomenon in “The Truth about the Harry Quebert Affair”. We simply have a nationally renowned writer, a waitress with no college education, and a reclusive millionaire telling their past experiences with the same eloquence and pace. Perhaps this is the greatest mystery in the book after all.

The characters’ lack of dimension becomes even more striking in the “romance” between Quebert and Nola Kellergan. Indeed, it is not easy to write a true love story. Characters must have chemistry between them, something that conveys to the reader what connects them so well. Between Quebert and Nola, there is nothing: all interactions between the two are exclamations of how they love each other, they cannot live without each other, and will die if they don't see each other constantly. They don't talk about anything else. It is even strange that Quebert emphasizes how funny Nola was—we don't see any of that, no intelligent response, no debate between them, nothing to show how, after all, they made each other happy. All we know about Nola is that she liked seagulls, dancing, and wanted to have a sun-colored dog. Everything else is her being submissive to Quebert, saying that she wants to be his wife, help him become famous, take care of his children. There is no room for Nola's independent aspirations and, incredibly, neither Quebert nor Goldman seem to find this worrying. All this development is swept under the rug and smothered by one word: love. Even the Brontë sisters, with the characteristic drama of their time, did not take advantage of an abstract ideal as an excuse for not developing their characters.

The ease with which Goldman accepts that Quebert, at 34, had an affair with a 15-year-old girl, is uncomfortable. Again, love is cast as an excuse: we cannot choose whom we love. In the novel, this cliché and simplistic phrase is never accompanied by the commonly given answer: no, but we can choose what we do about it. And while not expressly condemning a practice in a book does not imply that the author agrees with it—tell Nabokov about it—it is uncomfortable how Goldman does everything in his power to convince people that the relationship between Quebert and Nola was a beautiful love story and how he seems to manage to do it. Towards the end of the book, Goldman's secretary goes on to say “I think I [love Nola] too”, putting her as a great heroine who did everything in the name of love. I didn't love Nola, I felt sorry for her. A 15-year-old girl discovering the world, love, and sexuality who developed an unhealthy obsession for an adult 19 years older and who did not have the empathy to seek to preserve her well-being and development above his own desires. The issue is much deeper than calling Quebert a “pervert”, as the town’s inhabitants often did. But again, this issue was not explored.

One point I would like to highlight about the characters’ lack of development refers specifically to women. The book has few female characters and they all seem obsessed with the idea of ​​love, but always in the vague and sappy way that Dicker describes. Tamara Quinn is the only woman who got a bit of depth throughout the story. However, when her journal is uncovered, we see the same desperate allusions to a vague ideal of love that we saw in the letters between Nola and Quebert: again, the characters seem to speak with the same mouth.

To be fair, I have to admit that the relationship between Goldman and Quebert is well developed. Goldman's story as “The Formidable” who had to learn to fall is universal, especially in an era in which young people are constantly pressured to do more and earlier than their antecessors. The art of failure is rare knowledge and the way Dicker deals with the subject, although seemingly caricatural, reflects the extreme reality of some situations. It was one of my favorite parts of the book.

In short, it is a good book, given the merits of the main plot, but that doesn’t quite find its footing when it comes to character development.

 -

BRIEF COMMENTS WITH SPOILERS

The parallel between Nola and her mother when meeting their (supposed) soulmates, asking both of the men not to tell anyone that they smoked, was a sweet touch of irony. Very well placed.

#harry quebert #the truth about the harry quebert affair #book review #murder mystery #suspense #murder #crime #novel #joel dicker #mari

[tthael]

What are your thoughts on trans eddie? I love it bc I'm trans and eddie is like one of my comfort characters. Since you're the best writer I've ever seen I'm curious on your thoughts.

Thank you, that’s so nice! I also have some Gender Trouble (transmasc isn’t quite the right word) and I think about gender dynamics a lot, and I think Eddie in particular has an interesting relationship with his masculinity in canon that makes him ripe for this kind of analysis.

Back when I was mostly interested in Hobbit fanfiction, I read a lot of good fics that played around with the gender dynamics of the characters; so while I know that genderswap fics can be a hot button issue because of transphobia and accompanying dynamics, I do like those stories when they’re well-written and taken seriously. For instance, this Dwalin/Nori fic by @thorinsmut features a genderfluid pirate captain and an identity porn romance during the Golden Age of Sail (https://archiveofourown.org/works/1861419) and it’s one of my all-time favorite fanfictions (content warnings for violence against animals, discussion of sexual assault, explicit sex, and a genderfluid character experiencing dysphoria). I tend to prefer always-a-different-sex fics, but I’ve also read a couple of a-wizard-did-it fics, like this Coulson/Hawkeye fic by amireal (https://archiveofourown.org/works/1173773) from back when I was into marvel (content warnings for internalized homophobia, explicit sex, and workplace harassment). I myself have had an idea for a while about a Hunger Games genderswap fic where, because 1 girl and 1 boy are always sent to the Games, Katniss can’t volunteer to go in his sister’s place, but he can volunteer to go in Peeta’s place because he plans to die to save Prim.

So, if we accept that gender essentialism treats children assumed to be girls and children assumed to be boys differently (which it does), I think that a transman!Eddie would have a slightly different experience growing up. Canon Eddie has a sort of glass closet going on and a lot of his childhood bullying is homophobic, and it’s implied that this is because he’s not performing masculinity to the expected level. Also Sonia’s abuse focuses on illness, injury, and contamination. She wants Eddie to be “safe” (goes into hysterics when he tries to get his feet scanned at a shoe-store because of the radiation), but she also wants him to be “clean” and “good to his mother.” Especially in the 90s miniseries and the Muschietti movies that take place in 1989 and 2016, a lot of that is coded to involve the AIDS epidemic, needles, and fears of transmission, which means that there’s an element of homophobia to Sonia’s influence. Also, Sonia canonically sex-shames Beverly, calling her “a dirty girl” and saying that she knows all about her, specifically singling her out of the whole group of Losers. There’s an element of sexual protection to her emotional abuse, as well as just a general unwillingness to let Eddie leave the house or get free of her control.

So if we reverse this dynamic and Eddie is a transboy, I think that the pressures he would experience would involve him not performing femininity correctly as a child, because he’s a boy. Eddie would still be very polite and somewhat soft-spoken and dreamy, and he’d be squeamish about bullies belching in his face and Richie playing in the sewers, just like he is in canon; but I think that his discomfort with his traditionally “feminine” responses would come from him instead of externally now. I’d have him lean harder into his traditionally “masculine” interests--cars and trains and other vehicles of getting away from his mother--and I’d have Sonia be even more aggressive towards Bill, Stan, and Richie, to the point of them not ever daring to enter the house the way they do in the 2017 movie because I think Sonia would be just as revolted by the idea of Eddie going around with a pack of boys as she is by Beverly in canon. I think that Sonia would be very invested in Eddie’s appearance, probably pressuring him about his hair and the way that he dressed, probably preferring him to wear skirts and nice clothes instead of things that he could wear to ride a bike or go running around in the Barrens in. I think that there would be a greater element of sexual shaming and body- and weight-policing to Sonia’s abuse, with elements of her wanting to protect Eddie’s “virtue” from “those dirty boys.” @pineapplecrushface wrote an always-women AU Nightingale (https://archiveofourown.org/works/24979312) and while Richie and Eddie are women in this story so it’s not the trans Eddie fic you are looking for, I think that the mentions of Eddie’s childhood bedroom seems pretty accurate for the environment that he would grow up in if he were assigned female at birth--a pink canopy bed and looking for clothes that don’t make him “feel like a cupcake.”

Actually, I think that this might look a lot like Carrie. I know that other people have already talked about the similarities between Sonia Kaspbrak and Margaret White, but Margaret’s abuse tends to orient not just around control but also around sexual maturity and perceived virtue.

I don’t know when or to what degree Eddie would transition--I don’t know if he would take the opportunity to do it while Sonia was still living, though I believe he’d be financially stable enough to afford it very early on. It would all depend on how the writer wanted to handle Eddie’s adult life--is he married to Myra? Does Myra know that he’s trans? Do he and Myra have a sexual relationship? Does Eddie know that he’s attracted to men? Is Eddie out before he gets the call from Mike and goes to Derry? What kind of transition does he want to have, if any? There are so many things to consider and I think it would all depend on what kind of story the author wants to tell--for me, I’d probably write a story where Eddie happens to be trans, and I’ve read some good fic to that effect--Rapacious from the Very Start (https://archiveofourown.org/works/22853020) by InkandOwl (I tried to find their tumblr to tag them and couldn’t) is one of my favorites, though tbh when I read fic I’m looking for explicit sex and that seems to be the core of this series.

But yeah, I’d be down for trans Eddie fic. I think that there’s a lot to unpack there, from how Eddie’s “gazebos” confrontation with Sonia would take place because the primary issue there would not be the idea of keeping Eddie compliant and in the house as a mama’s boy, it would be the idea of keeping him locked in a tower like the witch in Rapunzel because Sonia keeps treating him like a princess; to the idea of needlephobia changing from a threat involving AIDS contamination to perhaps something empowering and self-authenticating like T injections. And Eddie’s such a well-rounded character anyway, I think that there’s a lot of room to dig into his bickering with Richie and his outward aggressiveness and see how much of that is stress and how much of that is the idea that masculinity never shows weak emotions and how much of that is Eddie is quick-witted and thinks arguing is fun. There are also several parallels between Georgie and Eddie, particularly in their relationship with Bill; I think that as a kid, Eddie would think that Big Bill is just the best role model in a real little-brother kinda way, and Sonia would be super threatened by that because she’s Eddie’s mother, Eddie’s supposed to want to be like her.

I think in general I’d be down for most trans fic, as long as it was well-written. In the book there’s an interesting passage from the perspective of Richie’s mother where she reflects on how much she wishes that she had a daughter, because she doesn’t understand Richie and Bill, and she’d feel more confident if she had a daughter she could do things with like baking cupcakes. And I think that a trans Bev would change the way that she experiences abuse from her father, who in the book prefers her to behave in a feminine way (stops being angry at her when he thinks she’s afraid of spiders, because “all girls are afraid of spiders”; becomes irate at the idea that Beverly is playing with boys; obsessive over her virginity) but would behave differently if he thought he had a son and that Bev was transgressing masculine rules.

Anyway! *hammers fist on desk* Bring me my all-trans Losers AU!

#transphobia #gender essentialism #gender roles #child abuse #emotional abuse #gendered violence