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brandyschillace · 2 months

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The Forgotten History of the World’s First Transgender Clinic

I finished the first round of edits on my nonfiction history of trans rights today. It will publish with Norton in 2025, but I decided, because I feel so much of my community is here, to provide a bit of the introduction.

[begin sample]

The Institute for Sexual Sciences had offered safe haven to homosexuals and those we today consider transgender for nearly two decades. It had been built on scientific and humanitarian principles established at the end of the 19th century and which blossomed into the sexology of the early 20th. Founded by Magnus Hirschfeld, a Jewish homosexual, the Institute supported tolerance, feminism, diversity, and science. As a result, it became a chief target for Nazi destruction: “It is our pride,” they declared, to strike a blow against the Institute. As for Magnus Hirschfeld, Hitler would label him the “most dangerous Jew in Germany.”6 It was his face Hitler put on his antisemitic propaganda; his likeness that became a target; his bust committed to the flames on the Opernplatz. You have seen the images. You have watched the towering inferno that roared into the night. The burning of Hirschfeld’s library has been immortalized on film reels and in photographs, representative of the Nazi imperative, symbolic of all they would destroy. Yet few remember what they were burning—or why.

Magnus Hirschfeld had built his Institute on powerful ideas, yet in their infancy: that sex and gender characteristics existed upon a vast spectrum, that people could be born this way, and that, as with any other diversity of nature, these identities should be accepted. He would call them Intermediaries.

Intermediaries carried no stigma and no shame; these sexual and Gender nonconformists had a right to live, a right to thrive. They also had a right to joy. Science would lead the way, but this history unfolds as an interwar thriller—patients and physicians risking their lives to be seen and heard even as Hitler began his rise to power. Many weren’t famous; their lives haven’t been celebrated in fiction or film. Born into a late-nineteenth-century world steeped in the “deep anxieties of men about the shifting work, social roles, and power of men over women,” they came into her own just as sexual science entered the crosshairs of prejudice and hate. The Institute’s own community faced abuse, blackmail, and political machinations; they responded with secret publishing campaigns, leaflet drops, pro-homosexual propaganda, and alignments with rebel factions of Berlin’s literati. They also developed groundbreaking gender affirmation surgeries and the first hormone cocktail for supportive gender therapy.

Nothing like the Institute for Sexual Sciences had ever existed before it opened its doors—and despite a hundred years of progress, there has been nothing like it since. Retrieving this tale has been an exercise in pursuing history at its edges and fringes, in ephemera and letters, in medal texts, in translations. Understanding why it became such a target for hatred tells us everything about our present moment, about a world that has not made peace with difference, that still refuses the light of scientific evidence most especially as it concerns sexual and reproductive rights.

[end sample]

I wanted to add a note here: so many people have come together to make this possible. Like Ralf Dose of the Magnus-Hirschfeld-Gesellschaft (Magnus Hirschfeld Archive), Berlin, and Erin Reed, American journalist and transgender rights activist—Katie Sutton, Heike Bauer. I am also deeply indebted to historian, filmmaker and formative theorist Susan Stryker for her feedback, scholarship, and encouragement all along the way. And Laura Helmuth, editor of Scientific American, whose enthusiasm for a short article helped bring the book into being. So many LGBTQ+ historians, archivists, librarians, and activists made the work possible, that its publication testifies to the power of the queer community and its dedication to preserving and celebrating history. But I ALSO want to mention you, folks here on tumblr who have watched and encouraged and supported over the 18 months it took to write it (among other books and projects). @neil-gaiman has been especially wonderful, and @always-coffee too: thank you.

The support of this community has been important as I’ve faced backlash in other quarters. Thank you, all.

NOTE: they are attempting to rebuild the lost library, and you can help: https://magnus-hirschfeld.de/archivzentrum/archive-center/

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ghelgheli · 7 days

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hey you might've been asked this before sorry if so, but have you read or do you have any thoughts on A short history of Trans Misogyny?

I have read it! I have a few thoughts.

I think it's a strong and important work that compiles historical archives into sharp analyses of how "trans misogyny" (using Jules Gill-Peterson's spacing) is not a recent phenomenon but a globalized structure with centuries of history. I also think it's flawed, for reasons I'll get into after a quick summary for those who haven't had the chance to read it yet.

JGP divides the book into three main chapters, the first on the notion of "trans panic". There, she traces how variants of this anxiety with the trans-feminized subject have presented—to deadly effect, for the subject—in such different settings as early colonial India, the colonization of the Americas, the racialized interactions between US soldiers stationed in the Philippines and the local trans women living there, and of course the contemporary United States itself. In every case she analyzes this "panic" as the reaction of the capitalist colonial enterprise to the conceptual threat that the trans-feminized subject poses; we are a destabilizing entity, a gender glitch that undermines the rigid guarantees of the patriarchal order maintaining capitalism. Punishment follows.

The second chapter is my favourite, and considers the relationship between transfeminine life and sex work. I posted a concluding excerpt but the thrust of the chapter is this: that the relegation of so many trans women and trans-feminized people to sex work, while accompanied by the derogation and degradation that is associated with sex work, is not itself the mere result of that degradation inflicted upon the subject. In other words, it is not out of pure helplessness and abjection that so many trans-feminized people are involved in sex work. Rather, sex work is a deliberate and calculated choice made by many trans-feminized people in increasingly service-based economies that present limited, often peripheralized, feminized, and/or reproductive, options for paid labour. Paired with a pretty bit of critical confabulation about the histories of Black trans-feminized people travelling the US in the 19th century, I think this made for great reading.

In her third chapter, JGP narrativizes the 20th century relationship between the "gay" and "trans" movements in north america—scare quoted precisely because the two went hand-in-hand for much of their history. She emphasizes this connection, not merely an embedding of one community within another but the tangled mutualism of experiences and subjectivities that co-constituted one another, though not without tension. Then came the liberal capture of the gay rights movement around the 70s, which brought about the famous clashes between the radicalisms of Silvia Rivera and Marsha P Johnson (neither of whom, JGP notes, ever described themselves as trans women) and the institutions of gay liberalism that desired subsumption into the folds of capital. This is a "remember your history" type of chapter, and well-put.

I think JGP is correct to insist, in her introduction, on the globalizing-in-a-destructive-sense effects of the colonial export of trans womanhood. It is, after all, an identity conceived only mid-century to make sense of the medicalized trans subject; and "gender identity" itself (as JGP describes in Histories of the Transgender Child) is a psychomedical concept conceived to rein in the epistemic instability of trans existence. This is critical to keep in mind! But I also think JGP makes a few mistakes, and one of them has to do with this point.

In her first chapter, under the discussion of trans misogyny in colonial India, JGP of course uses the example of the hijra. Unfortunately, she commits two fundamental errors in her use: she mythologizes, however ambiguously, the "ascetic" lives of hijra prior to the arrival of British colonialism; and she says "it's important to say that hijras were not then—and are not today—transgender". In the first place, the reference to the "ascetism" of hijra life prior to the violence of colonialism is evocative of "third-gender" idealizations of primeval gender subjectivities. To put the problem simply: it's well and good to describe the "ritual" roles of gendered subjects people might try to construe contemporarily as "trans women", the priestesses and oracles and divinities of yore. But it is best not to do so too loftily. Being assigned to a particular form of ritualistic reproductive labour because of one's failure to be a man and inability to perform the primary reproductive labour of womanhood-proper is the very marker of the trans-feminized subject. "Ascetism" here obviates the reality that it wasn't all peachy before (I recommend reading Romancing the Transgender Native on this one). Meanwhile, in the after, it is just wrong that hijra are universally not transgender. Many organize specifically under the banners of transfeminism. It's a shame that JGP insists on keeping the trans-feminized life of hijra so firmly demarcated from what she herself acknowledges is globalized transness.

My second big complaint with the book is JGP's slip into a trap I have complained about many times: the equivocation of transfemininity with femininity (do you see why I'm not fond of being described as "transfem"?). She diagnoses the root of transmisogyny as a reaction to the femininity of trans women and other trans-feminized subjects. In this respect she explicitly subscribes to a form of mujerísima, and of the trans-feminized subject as "the most feminine" and (equivalent, as far as she's concerned) "the most woman". Moreover, she locates transfeminist liberation in a singular embrace of mujerísima as descriptive of trans-feminized subjectivity. As I've discussed previously, I think this is a misdiagnosis. Feminization is, of course, something that is done to people; it is certainly the case that the trans-feminized subject is in this way feminized for perceived gender-failure. This subject may simultaneously embrace feminized ways of being for all sorts of reasons. In both cases I think the feminization follows from, rather than precedes, the trans misogyny and trans-feminization, and there is a fair bit of masculinization as de-gendering at play too, to say nothing of the deliberate embrace of masculinity by "trans-feminized" subjects. Masculinity and femininity are already technologies of gender normalization—they are applied against gender deviation and adapted to by the gender deviant. The deviation happens first, in the failure to adhere to the expectations of gender assignment, and I don't think these expectations can be summarized by either masculinity or femininity alone. I think JGP is effectively describing the experience of many trans-feminized people, but I do not think what she presents can be the universalized locus of trans liberation she seems to want it to be.

Now for a pettier complaint that I've made before, but one that I think surfaces JGP's academic context. In her introduction she says:

In truth, everyone is implicated in and shaped by trans misogyny. There is no one who is purely affected by it to the point of living in a state of total victimization, just as there is no one who lives entirely exempt from its machinations. There is no perfect language to be discovered, or invented, to solve the problem of trans misogyny by labeling its proper perpetrator and victim.

Agreed that "there is no perfect language to be discovered"! But JGP is clearly critical of TMA/TME language here. Strange, then, that less than ten pages later she says this:

this book adds the phrase trans-feminized to describe what happens to groups subjected to trans misogyny though they did not, or still do not, wish to be known as transgender women.

So JGP believes it is coherent to talk about "groups subjected to trans misogyny", which she thinks consists of the union of trans women and what she called "trans-feminized" groups. If this is to be coherent, there must be groups not subjected to trans misogny. So we've come around to transmisogyny-subjected and not transmisogyny-subjected. Look: you cannot effectively theorize about transmisogyny without recognizing that its logic paints a particular target, and you will need to come up with a concise way of making this distinction. But JGP dismissing TMA/TME with skepticism about "perfect language" and immediately coining new language (basically TMS/not TMS) to solve the problem she un-solved by rejecting TMA/TME... it smells of a sloppy attempt to make a rhetorical point rather than theoretical rigour. It's frustrating.

I have other minor gripes, like her artificial separation of "trans women" from "nonbinary people" (cf. countless posts on here lamenting the narrow forms of existence granted TMA people if we want recognition as-such!) or her suggestion that "a politics of overcoming the gender binary" is mutually exclusive from rather than necessarily involved with struggles around "prison abolition, police violence, and sex work". Little things that give me the sense of theoretical tunnel-vision. But I don't think all this compromises the book's strengths as a work of broad historical analysis. I would simply not take every one of its claims as authoritative. Definitely give it a read if you have the chance, especially for the second and third chapters.

#ask answer #jules gill-peterson #(i haven't been asked this before ty for asking <3 🐐)#note that this was mostly off the cuff except what i had taken pictures of bc i left the book in toronto for my mom to read

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tanadrin · 1 year

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I'm imagining the very unfortunate 13 year old trans boy who has top surgery and then grows more later as puberty progresses.

(I know that 13 year olds don't get top surgery unless there's something VERY weird/wrong [for instance: cancer] going on with the kid's body.)

Minors absolutely can and do get, for instance, breast implants--but only if they're cis, and only with parental permission. The fucked up thing is that a lot of medical procedures that are considered perfectly safe and uncontroversial as long as you're cis (puberty blockers, HRT, various kinds of plastic surgery) get rhetorically transformed into a big scary cloud of evil for trans people, and even transphobes who are nominally opposed to, say, breast implants for sixteen year olds certainly aren't going to spend nearly as much time, if any at all, railing against that sort of thing in public. Because all of this is a post-hoc justification for an intense disgust they feel at gender nonconformity, not actually a principled defense of anybody's rights.

This is also why you can't rhetorically pin them down on any single point. They'll lie about GCS; and when you point out that's a lie, they'll go "well, what about puberty blockers?" And if you point out that puberty blockers are pretty safe, were invented to treat precocious puberty in cis kids, and their effects are entirely reversible, they'll leap to bathrooms or FUD about nebulous issues of "women's rights," and if you try to pin them down about that, they'll circle right back around to lying about GCS, hoping any onlookers have forgotten about or missed that part of the discussion.

I have very little sympathy for people who argue so transparently in bad faith and whose pyschosexual obsessions are so nakedly on display. Books like Irreversible Damage lay bear the extent to which transphobia is almost wholly about cis peoples' anxiety about their own gender and gender expression, in the same way that homophobia is often straight people twisting themselves into knots about their own sexuality. What these people really need is therapy, or an ayahuasca retreat, or to do some yoga about it, but that would require the uncomfortable process of cultivating self-knowledge, so plan B is "make sure I don't have to be confronted with evidence that the human experience is more diverse and complicated than I have been previously willing to believe."

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genderkoolaid · 17 days

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sorry if you've talked about it already, but what is it that makes KOSA's idea of online safety wrong? I don't know much about the bill, what does it intend to do?

What do you think is a good way to protect kids from things like online predators or just seeing things that they shouldn't be seeing? (By which I mean sex and graphic violence, things which you'd need to be 16+ to see in a movie theater so I think it makes sense to not want pre-teens to see it)

From stopkosa.com:

Why is KOSA a bad bill? KOSA uses two methods to “protect” kids, and both of them are awful. First, KOSA would incentivize social media platforms to erase content that could be deemed “inappropriate” for minors. The problem is: there is no consensus on what is inappropriate for minors. All across the country we are seeing how lawmakers are attacking young people’s access to gender affirming healthcare, sex education, birth control, and abortion. Online communities and resources that queer and trans youth depend on as lifelines should not be subject to the whims of the most rightwing extremist powers and we shouldn’t give them another tool to harm marginalized communities. Second, KOSA would ramp up the online surveillance of all internet users by expanding the use of age verification and parental monitoring tools. Not only are these tools needlessly invasive, they’re a massive safety risk for young people who could be trying to escape domestic violence and abuse.

I’ve heard there’s a new version of KOSA. What’s the deal? The new version of KOSA makes some good changes: narrowing the ability of rightwing attorneys general to weaponize KOSA to target content they don’t like and limiting the problematic “duty of care. However, because the bill is still not content neutral, KOSA still invites the harms that civil rights advocates have warned about. As LGBTQ and reproductive rights groups have said for months, the fundamental problem with KOSA is that its “duty of care” covers content specific aspects of content recommendation systems, and the new changes fail to address that. In fact, personalized recommendation systems are explicitly listed under the definition of a design feature covered by the duty of care in the new version. This means that a future Federal Trade Commission (FTC) could still use KOSA to pressure platforms into automated filtering of important, but controversial topics like LGBTQ issues and abortion, by claiming that algorithmically recommending such content “causes” mental health outcomes that are covered by the duty of care like anxiety and depression. Bans on inclusive books, abortion, and gender affirming healthcare have been passed on exactly that kind of rhetoric in many states recently. And we know that already existing content filtering systems impact content from marginalized creators exponentially more, resulting in discrimination and censorship. It’s also important to remember that algorithmic recommendation includes, for example, showing a user a post from a friend that they follow, since most platforms do not show all users all posts, but curate them in some way. As long as KOSA’s duty of care isn’t content neutral, platforms will be likely to react the same way that they did to the broad liability imposed by SESTA/FOSTA: by engaging in aggressive filtering and suppression of important, and in some cases lifesaving, content.

Why it's bad:

The way it's written (even after being changed, which the website also goes over), it is still possible for this law to be used to restrict things like queer content, discussion of reproductive rights and resources, and sexual education.

It will restrict youth's ability to use the Internet independently, essentially cutting off life support to many vulnerable people who rely on the Internet to learn that they are queer, being abused, disabled, etc.

Better alternatives:

Stop relying on ageist ideas of purity and innocence. When we focus on protecting the "purity" of youth, we dehumanize them and it becomes more about soothing adult anxieties than actually improving the lives of children.

Making sure content (sexual, violent, etc.) is marked/tagged and made avoidable for anyone who doesn't want to engage with it.

Teach children why certain things may be upsetting and how best to avoid those things.

Teach children how to recognize grooming and abuse and empower them to stop it themselves.

Teach children how to recognize fear, discomfort, trauma, and how to cope with those experiences.

The Internet makes a great boogeyman. But the idea that it is uniquely corrupting the Pure Innocent Youth relies on the idea that all children are middle-class suburban White kids from otherwise happy homes. What about the children who see police brutality on their front lawns, against their family members? How are we protecting them from being traumatized? Or children who are seeing and experiencing physical and sexual violence in their own homes, by the parents who prevent them from realizing what's happening by restricting their Internet usage? How does strengthening parent's rights stop those kids from being groomed? Or the kids who grow up in evangelical Christian homes and are given graphic descriptions of the horrors of the Apocalypse and told if they ever question their parents, they'll be left behind?

Children live in the same world we do. There are children who are already intimately aware of violence and "adult" topics because of their lived experiences. Actually protecting children means being concerned about THEIR human rights, it means empowering them to save themselves, it means giving them the tools to understand their own feelings and traumas. KOSA is just another in a long line of attempts to "save the children!" by dehumanizing them and giving more power to the people most likely to abuse them. We need to stop trying to protect children's "innocence" and appreciate that children are already growing, changing people, learning to deal with discomfort and pain and the weight of the world the same as everyone else. What people often think keeps kids safe really just keeps them ignorant and quiet.

Another explanation as to why it's bad:

#m.#ask box

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sister-lucifer · 11 months

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what’s wrong with you based on your favorite creepypasta

(don’t take these too seriously it’s all /lh)

Ticci Toby: You have the diet of a five year old and need to stop eating whatever food is put in front of you without thinking about it, you don’t know where it’s been. No, it is not okay to dig food out of the trash, even if it’s on top. I’m sorry your family is so shitty. You’re also trans masc and autistic and/or adhd (+ if you like toby you should participate in my strip game w him:))

Jeff The Killer: You need to stop getting violently angry at every minor inconvenience. Like seriously, it’s okay, take a deep breath. And stop yelling at people. I know that to you it’s a normal tone of voice but you’re much louder than you think. You’re also trans masc and still processing your internalized biases

Laughing Jack: Sorry about the abandonment issues, but you also shouldn’t latch on to anyone who shows you even the smallest bit of kindness, you’ll get yourself hurt. Remember, it takes time to build meaningful relationships, and that’s ok. Also your relationship with gender is weird, and you either don’t have a gender or have one that is so hyper specific and personalized that you’re the only one who will really ever understand it. And your fashion sense is weird

Eyeless Jack: Someone really hurt you once and you’ve never really been the same since. You don’t speak very much and sort of keep to yourself and prefer to observe social interactions rather than partake in them. You have more books than you’ve had friends ever and rant to yourself about them. And you never turn the lights on if you can help it

BEN Drowned: Stop hiding your intense emotions behind humor. Memes are not a replacement for therapy. Neither is weed, but you should probably keep doing that because it’s the only thing keeping you from an anxiety attack. Also you’re short. Gross

Nina The Killer: How’s the hypersexuality going? Seriously, you can’t pretend you’re not struggling with loneliness and a lack of meaningful connections by being horny. Get off twitter and ao3 for like five minutes PLEASE. And you’re still thoroughly invested in trends from 2010. You are cringe, but by god you are free. Also sorry about the unrequited crush but you should really move on

#creepypasta #ticci toby #toby rogers #jeff the killer #jeffrey woods #nina the killer #eyeless jack #laughing jack #ben drowned

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 6 months

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Editor’s note: This hypothetically open letter was originally posted by its anonymous author on Medium and was rapidly removed as “hate speech.” We found it to be a refreshing dose of honesty, a charming and relatable open letter from one parent to other parents (not to the child, obviously!) about dealing with a challenging and dangerous moment in raising children, especially “weird” adolescents who search for their identities harder than others and risk making life-damaging mistakes in a way never before possible. We are reposting it here on New Discourses with the permission of the author.

By: Donna M.

Published: Mar 5, 2021

My dear, sweet, son,

I’ve got to break it to you: you’re not trans, you’re just weird.

This seems like a cruel thing to point out right now. Clearly, you are struggling and feeling pretty awful about things. I can see that you are in a rough patch, and one of the first rules of parenting is to not pile on. The world is pretty heavy on your shoulders. You’re fifteen. There’s a pandemic going on. But here I come anyway. I’m about to throw more on you.

When you were two – a happy, chubby, little tyke in pull-ups, you watched the world with wary eyes behind the thumb in your mouth. You leapt with joy in the rhythm of the toddle music classes. You chattered and shared stories about your stuffed animals. You loved your little sister. Enjoyed cookies and finger painting. That was all pretty normal.

But you also started to count to one thousand on our walks. And you started to call out the store names as we drove around. And you preferred reading books rather than playing with the other two-year-olds at preschool. And you hated sitting in the circle when instructed. And you hated the feel of blue jeans. And you threw big tantrums when you lost any kind of game. In other words, you started to show signs that you were… weird.

The grandparents were the first to notice. They said gentle things like “You oughta keep an eye on that one,” and sent us links to Wall Street Journal articles about child prodigies. And then the other parents in the play groups started to comment; “He’s pretty intense, huh?” And the teachers were on to it pretty quickly. They started to use fancy terms like “asynchronous development.”

By third grade, we realized you were different, but we still didn’t realize you were weird. Truthfully, we’re used to people like you. Our family is full of engineers, artists, musicians, computer programmers, and a lot of “free-thinkers.” Family gatherings always have chess, political debates, and quartets around the piano. That’s just us.

And besides, you had a small but solid group of friends. There was Pokémon, then Minecraft, then Magic, then Dungeons and Dragons, then Catan. You were never in the center of things, but you weren’t alone.

But then, in middle school, things started to change. By 7th grade, school finally started to require some effort, and it turned out you were pretty disorganized. People kept calling you smart, but the teachers were annoyed at your humor, and frustrated that you wouldn’t or couldn’t follow the guidelines for assignments. Classmates didn’t appreciate your frank (if accurate) descriptions of their efforts. I’ll admit, we got pretty frustrated with you, too.

And then puberty arrived, with its triple curse of acne, braces, and bizarre growth. The girls appeared to have it all together (I know they don’t, but they do appear that way). And the popular boys seemed to know exactly what to do. They can talk sports to each other, they brag about their romantic exploits. They never get in trouble for stupid reasons like forgetting an assignment three times in a row. Your anxiety started to kick in, and it seemed like you got smaller. And some of your guy friends moved on.

So you drifted over to the weird-o crowd. Well — I’m not sure what you call yourselves, but that’s what we would have called you back when I was in school. At different schools these are the geeks, or the theater kids, the math team kids, or the artsy-fartsy kids. This used to be where the gay kids ended up, but I think they’re more dispersed now. You get some kids whose parents are going through some rough times. Some girls with anorexia. A few boys who are edgy and angry. Kids with a great sense of humor and big hearts.

And some of these kids are really passionate. Just full of righteous anger about the injustices of the world. And some of them are dramatic. And truthfully, that looks pretty attractive to you. Because you share some of that confusion and anger about the world. And though you may not be sure what you think or what you feel, you are certain you don’t want to be on the bad side. You certainly aren’t like those popular boys with their suave charm and dominating manners. You’re not like them at all.

You’re actually more like those vibrant girls who can speak for hours about their ideas. Well, you would be if you could find the words to speak. And there is something so fascinating about those girls, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. You’d never think about talking to those girls anyway, because that’d be weird. Because you are weird. You’ve never been good at chit-chat, or eye contact. Or girls. And besides, you wouldn’t want them to get the wrong impression. You understand that your peers are starting to date, but you really don’t see the point. Sex is still gross and weird to you. It’s better to just call yourself “asexual” or “pansexual.” It’s like a get-out-of-jail-free card that helps you avoid the whole mess. And your group of friends tell you that you are super cool and brave for being able to say that about yourself.

But you’ve fallen into a funk. Anyone can see that. But computer games help. And there’s always trying to beat the speed record for that one game you’re kinda good at. And that one guy on reddit always has good tricks. And the people on that message board seem to get your humor.

So when one of them posts a meme about trans rights, it makes sense that you’d check it out. You’re curious! You’re a free thinker! You’re not like the normies. And the web quiz hits home. You do feel discomfort with your body. You don’t like sports. You do wonder what it would be like to be a girl. You’ve always felt like something was different about you.

You’re right. There is something different about you.

But you’re not trans, you’re just weird.

So we’re right here for you. We’ll always be here for you. But those online folks who urge you to “crack your trans egg” and rush to hormones and surgeries don’t know you at all. They don’t know that gifted kids and ADHD kids and Autism kids and Asperger’s kids are slower to develop emotionally and sexually. They don’t know that sexuality takes time and experience to figure out, and that the majority of trans teens seeking medical treatment haven’t even masturbated or kissed someone yet. They don’t know that 80% of trans children end up becoming comfortable with their birth sex if you just give them time. They don’t know that there are increasing numbers of desisting and de-transitioning people in their twenties. They don’t realize that hormones permanently stunt your growth, decrease your IQ, and can cause sterility. They don’t know that these hormones are prescribed off-label and there’s no research on the long-term outcomes. They don’t even know that the most recent research shows that short-term outcomes are clearly worse.

They don’t realize that you’re weird. But I do. You’re weird, kiddo. You’ll figure that out in a year or two. But that’s okay. We are all weird. And I love you anyway. You’re going to be just fine.

You always hear stories and justifications like, "she never liked wearing a dress," or "he always hated having his hair cut." This is post-hoc confirmation bias. Not only does this confirm everything critics say about this being a movement based on gross stereotypes, but they always leave out things like, "she refused to eat anything yellow," and "he was obsessed with elevator and crossing buttons and would cry if he wasn't the one to light it up."

It's okay to be weird.

#Donna M #gender identity #gender ideology #queer theory #genderwang #trans egg #it's okay to be weird #it's ok to be weird #normalize weird #religion is a mental illness

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neonlight2 · 10 months

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Marauders era Headcanons

I’ll be adding to this throughout the storyline

Masterlist

Sirius Black:

- Partially Deaf, because there is no way he came out inbred and totally unscathed.

- Genderfluid because he’s an indecisive bitch

- Loves when his hair is braided no matter how much he says otherwise (also likes his head scratched)

- Paints his nails just to chip them cause he thinks it looks hot (same thing with smudging eyeliner)

- Calls Lily ‘Evans’, until she and James get together then he calls her ‘Mrs. Potter’

- annoyed he has to share James

- Fidgets with his hair and finger/rings constantly, because he definitely had ADD

- Makes this claw thingy with his hand when he’s nervous (if you know where this is from ily)

- Can dance REALLY WELL (ballet), because of that pure blood privilege, and does the stance naturally

-Can play the violin but is embarrassed so learns guitar so if someone asks him if he plays an instrument he can just say that instead

- Sexuality = Hot people aka Remus Lupin ( he’s just a whore idk what else to say)

-Touch starved/attention whore

- Such a fucking G, this man would riot for anything his friends ask

- If you walked into his closet you would think two people put their stuff in there, no, just him

- Speaks French

Remus Lupin:

- Poor boy is depressed

- And actually poor which is why he sells weed or other muggle things (he hustles the shit out of the students at Hogwarts by saying everything is ‘exotic’ and they believe him because everyone thinks he’s smart)

- Touch starved but doesn’t like to be touched (if you know you know)

-Bisexual panic. All. The. Time.

-Oblivious as hell to the fact everyone wants him— I mean everyone

- Loves tea. SO. MUCH. TEA.

- Has a book club with Lily

- Got a ton of piercings and tattoos over fifth year’s summer, but people rarely see them cause he’s always wearing sweaters or covered up some how

-His whole closet look like it should belong to an old man, yet he still slays

- Bites his lips and inside of cheek a lot, so James carries around lip balm for him

- When he’s high he’s chill

- But he’s hysterical when he’s drunk

-Can read multiple languages, but his pronunciation is god awful (Sirius makes fun of him for it)

-Has Chocolate on hand at all times because once he didn’t and he threw Snape across the classroom

-Man is an uncoordinated tree

James Potter:

- Both the Mom and child of the group somehow

- Takes lots of naps

-Sorry to say but Gryffindor is his personality

- Foot taps

- Holy shit this guy is ADHD

- ‘Bambi’ is his other nickname, and he thinks it’s cute until he watches the movie

- The healthiest mentally of the group

- Golden retriever vibes

- If James hasn’t seen Sirius within 30 minutes and he doesn’t know where he is, he gets panicked

-Has a thing for Youngest siblings apparently (Lily and Regulus)

-Obsessed with Babies

- Definition of himbo sometimes

- He’s good at every sport he tries

- Queer

- Trained Sirius not to say Mudblood throughout first and second year

Peter Pettigrew:

- Trans (I’ll go more in-depth later)

- Ace

- if Social anxiety was a person

- Bakes like an absolute KING

- Chews fingernails, so Sirius got him leather gloves to matches his own to get him to stop

- Knows random shit/facts

-also knows everyone’s business because no one pays him any attention

- Short king

- Hilarious, practically makes the group piss themselves when alone in the common room

- Loves everything fuzzy

- Has been in love with Mary since third or fourth year, but hasn’t said anything because he knew about her and Lily

- Has family trauma too, but he doesn’t thinks it’s enough to complain about because of what he’s seen with Sirius

- Was the first to master turning into an animagus

-As bad as Sirius and James with worrying about his hair, just less loud about it

-He knew about wolfstar before James

Lily Evans:

-Pansexual

- Politics Queen

- As sassy and sarcastic as Sirius

-Stress cleans

- the Left corner of her forehead twitches when she’s mad

- Thick girl (her thighs are HUGE and James practically drools over them 24/7, respectively ofc)

- Short 5’

- the others have to keep her within arms reach because she gets lost easily in crowds, her hair is the only thing that helps

- Human calculator (she gets perfect marks on every subject EXCEPT DADA, which is the class Sirius and James do; it annoys her to no end)

- Most likely to actually throw hands

- Fangirls openly about book characters (with Remus)

- Can’t sing to save her life (poor babe just wants to sing abba, but she just ends up being made fun of)

-Vowed to not cut her hair until she graduated, so around sixth year she had to start braiding it because if she didn’t she’d sit on it

- Can forge a signature/handwriting very well

- Is actually really insecure about her magical abilities because of the rift it caused between her and Petunia

Marlene McKinnon:

-Lesbian

-The only person to actually make her question her sexuality is Remus, and that’s because it’s fucking Remus Lupin

- During fourth year when her and Sirius were ‘dating’, they were just teaching each other how to flirt with girls/guys and they’d kiss just to practice

-Obsessed with Piercings (begged Remus to give her a couple after he told her about how he had the supplies)

- One of the best players on the Gryffindor Quidditch team/ uses it as anger management (Beater position)

-Her and Sirius have an agreement to tell each other the weekly outfit plan so they don’t wear the same thing or color (red or black mostly)

- Roasting people is her platonic love language

-Can play every band instrument

-She looks like a tough, rocker chick but is a softie for Dorcas

- Intimidates everyone because she’s low key buff (can bench more than James and Sirius combined) and super tall (looks like a giant next to Lily)

-Can’t speak in front of Dorcas at first, yet Dorcas understands her

-Big on PDA which leads to Sirius gagging obnoxiously

-Her and Sirius “fighting” is for show so people stop shipping them together/ teasing them

- Dyslexic so Lily and Dorcas read to her if there’s anything important (which leads to them doing it even if she’s not around)

-Simps for James Mum (but who wouldn’t)

Dorcas Meadowes:

- Part of the Slytherin skittles

- Non-binary

-Demisexual

- Dark humor and it’s worse when she’s around Regulus and Barty

- Nyx is her first girl kiss in my oc story (Marlene probably was for every other story)

-Big softy when it comes to Marlene

-Resting bitch face

- Amazing artist/ sketching Marlene constantly

- Makes jewelry (Marlene and her matching rings, and friendship bracelets/ necklaces for the others that they can never take off— she warns them before hand)

- Will go batshit crazy if she stays up after 12 am

-Gets super competitive when playing Quidditch

- Rants about how much she loves pockets every 20 minutes

- Instinctively moves closer to someone she knows when she’s in public

- More introverted than the rest, would rather stay in the common room and chill

-makes a ton of your mom jokes

Mary Macdonald:

- Pansexual or Polysexual

-She loves to embroidery/making clothes, so if anyone needs something made or tailored they go to her

-Hypes everyone up all the time, ‘don’t disrespect yourself’ vibe

- Has the best alcohol tolerance in the group

-James potter triggers her for a multitude of reasons; they have a banter relationship

- She always has what you need in her bag— like Mary Poppins

-Lily was her first love and friend

- SUCH a good listener (like I know canon Remus and Lily would be the best listeners, but I think it’s Mary)

- Both her and Remus had a glow up fourth year and everyone wants to either be them or be with them

- Loves dancing, will do it randomly while doing absolutely anything

-Hates cold weather, she’ll literally wear five jackets DON’T play

-Has had or does have a eating disorder because of societal pressure of internal judgment; not to mention people definitely paint her out to be a ‘slag’ because she happens to be more open about her sexuality (and they don’t do it to Sirius because we live in a fucked patriarchy)

- Will scream “fuck the police” or “fuck the Patriarchy” when running away from an authority figure (or just Lily/Remus)

-vegetarian

-Extroverted (loves to be around people/hates being alone)

Regulus Black:

- Asthma (again, can’t escape inbreeding completely)

-Has permanent dark circles, yet he still looks beautiful??? Looks like eyeshadow to be real

- Demisexual

-trans

-Scratching his knuckles is a severe nervous tick of his

-Writes poetry and short stories

- Plays the piano

-Started playing quidditch to interact with Sirius more and to impress him (but as he got older he didn’t really give a shit anymore)

-Speaks French and Reads Latin

-Really into Astronomy

- He had a crush on James in fifth year but didn’t pursue it because he still somewhat resented him for having Sirius all to himself (and he knew Sirius would get mad)

-Cusses a lot when around his friends

-Best poker face, could lie to anyone and get away with it

-Photographic memory

-Nice to all the House elves (and all the Marauders except Sirius and James)

Pandora, Evan, and Barty

Evan and Pandora are siblings

Everyone in the Marauders and Slytherin Skittles have agreed that Pandora has to be protected at all cost

What they don’t know is that this girl is lethal (Carries around potions she’s created that could burn through steel)

Barty is hella gay, psychotic, and a bit of a pyro

Barty is also low key obsessed with Regulus

Evan is in love with Barty

Rosekiller is a thing, and it is toxic (don’t we just love it)

I’ll probably add more for Barth, Evan, and Pandora later

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gold-snek-hoe · 2 months

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Hello and welcome to Opinions from an Internet Nobody. Today's essay:

"Ger therapy" is the new "You need Jesus": One Weirdo's Navigation through Cultural Shame

This is a supposedly well-meaning sentiment that is often weaponized against people who are behaving outside of perceived cultural norms. It's a favorite of homophobes who see queerness/transness as a mental illness, but I've been seeing it used to demonize kink (which historically is often linked to queerness), and more generally any "weird" behavior that makes people uncomfortable.

For example, otherkin, systems (especially those with fictives), and people who take fictional characters as partners. Y'know, "weirdos" who "can't separate reality from fiction." And, sure, sometimes there can be a problem with that distinction, but I know as well as you that most internet strangers saying "get therapy" don't actually give a shit about the mental health of those they target. It's code for "your behavior makes me uncomfortable, stop it."

Same sentiment as "you need Jesus."

This has actually taken me a long time to figure out. I've been in therapy for my entire adult life, working through various traumas, severe depression, anxiety, all that. Those were the biggest problems as they negatively impacted, and often endangered, my life. It was only after my hospitalization in 2020, where I was finally put on much needed medication, that I could start to grow into myself.

I changed my name. I top surgery. I came out as polyamorous. I finally got my official autism diagnosis. Now I'm fuckin' married! But... there are still things I'm working through in therapy. Mainly, shame over my "weirder" behaviors. My current therapist has been a huge blessing in helping me accept the things I was too ashamed to admit.

Now, I feel comfortable enough to share.

I'm otherkin. Always have been. My connection to my humanity is tenuous, and I'm sure that's connected to my autism. When mad, I feel phantom horns sprouting from my forehead. I have a tail that swishes back and forth at the base of my spine. In my soul, I am monstrous, and years of therapy has not erased that.

I feel like I'm only half in the physical world most of the time. This doesn't hinder my real-world success (I graduated college Summa Cum Laude, have an IMDB page, and am on my third book), but informs the way I look at the world. There's a whole other universe in my head that hums along with me in my day-to-day. That's part of why I'm so skilled as a writer. To ask me to divorce from that is to tell me to stop existing. Sorry, it's how I've always operated.

Lastly, and this is the one I'm really anxious about, I have a fictional husband. Now, looking at my blog, you might say "yeah, no shit," but I don't just ship myself with him. I mean I practice pop-culture Witchcraft, and the Goblin King is my patron. I mean I have a Labyrinth-themed tarot deck that I talk to him with. I mean I held a ritual to spiritually marry him. Basically, I Snape-wived myself.

And guess what? My therapist isn't concerned. It's not hurting my ability to live my life. I have other interests, hobbies, and goals outside of him, which he actively encourages in all our tarot sessions! I wouldn't be doing this if he didn't support me. My IRL spouse is usually there for whatever magical shit I'm doing, and supports me! Some of my closest friends know, and the only complaint I've gotten is "this guy seems important to you, I wish you told me sooner." Hell, my MOTHER knows and supports me, which is huge, because our relationship was pretty damaged after I came out as trans.

If you have a problem with the way I live my life, when literally nobody else does, take a good long look at why. You don't give a fuck about my mental health. You just don't like that I'm weird.

Tl;dr: My mental health is better than it's ever been since embracing the weird, so leave me and my imaginary husband Marak Sixfinger alone.

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crossdreamers · 1 month

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Gender researcher Judith Butler argues that the anti-gender movement is bringing us closer to authoritarianism

The famous gender researcher Judith Butler is out with a new book called Who's Afraid of Gender. In an article in the Los Angeles Times she explain why she thinks contemporary transphobia brings us closer to authoritarianism.

She writes:

The fear of “gender” allows existing powers — states, churches, political movements — to frighten people to come back into their ranks, to accept censorship and to externalize their fear and hatred onto vulnerable communities. Those powers not only appeal to existing fears that many working people have about the future of their work or the sanctity of their family life but also incite those fears, insisting, as it were, that people conveniently identify gender as the true cause of their feelings of anxiety and trepidation about the world. The project of restoring the world to a phantasmatic time before gender promises a return to a patriarchal dream order that only a strong state can restore. The shoring up of state powers, including the courts, implicates the anti-gender movement in a broader authoritarian, even fascist project. We see the rolling back of progressive legislation and the targeting of sexual and gender minorities as dangers to society, as exemplifying the most destructive force in the world, in order to strip them of their fundamental rights, protections and freedoms.

Read the whole article here.

See also:

Feminist philosopher Judith Butler is crystal clear in her condemnation of transphobic feminists

Renowned Feminist Philosopher Judith Butler Tears Transphobic Feminism Apart

Feminist philosopher Judith Butler goes up against anti-trans and anti-gender feminists and conservatives

#transgender #trans #lgbt #lgbtqa #queer #gender #transphobia #culture #philosophy #judith butler #feminism

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bonezlyy · 9 months

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I DIED 🫶🏼

I said I would be insansley active on this account but I wasn’t and forgot about it immediately

Im trying I promise you I just didn’t know what to post

WE’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THE FRIEND GROUPS

WELL THEYRE ALL ONE BIG FRIEND GROUP AND LOVE EACHOTHER EQUALLY BUT THEY HAVE SPECIFIC THINGIES

OKAY SO

THIS IS GONNA BE A WEIRD BIG INFODUMP INSTEAD OF A NORMAL LIST

Starting with Error, Geno, Sci and Night. These fucking nerds 💕 Smart guys that talk about smart guy stuff (Idk what kind of smart things because Im not smart myself but still). They’re all calm and collected people that like to sit together and read books because they’re cute and silly guys. Geno and Night talk about Space stuff while Error and Sci talk about science and tech stuff.

NUMBER 2 IS THE STARS💕

I am so obsessed with Drinkberry you can not stop me. They’re all really silly and positive people and they all kiss like muah muah muah. And btw drinkberry, afterdeath and Scifell are the only canon ships you get. Idk what the other ones are I might just make them all kiss tbh. Well actually you might get Cherrberry too who knows. BUT ANYWAY BACK TO THE STARS. They just sit in on of their dorm’s and watch movies and kiss and cuddle I love them sm

NUMBER 3

I CANT TELL YOU HOW ODDLY OBSESSED I AM WITH REAPER, FELL AND PLUM BEING FRIENDS (cutely changes Lust from Hearts to Plum) THEY MET IN YEAR 7 WHEN NONE OF THEM WERE DOING SWIMMING AND IT BASICALLY WENT LIKE THIS

Teacher: Okay then so what’s your excuse today

All 3 of them at the same time by the power of gay friendship: I have tits

AND THEY JUST LOOKED AT EACHOTHER LIKE ???

And then they talked about being trans for the whole lesson, and then found out they were all bi and decided to be friends until one of them inevitably dies from alcohol poisoning 🫶🏼

I love them sm, they kiss in the best friend way that i long for

I need to get a grip girl they’re just skeletons pls

Obviously Cross, Dust, Horror, and Killer

These little heathens omg

They just create havoc wherever they go, accidental or not

This one is self explanatory tbh

AND THEN THE ART KIDS

Ink, Error, Plum, Reaper, Geno

Error and Plum are in textiles

Ink, Reaper and Geno do like regular art, idk what the word is for it but painting, drawing, charcoals and all that

Ink, Reaper and geno design and draw cool designs for Plum and Error to make as practice

ANYWAY THOSE ARE ALL I CAN THINK OF RN

I should probably start actually writing this soon

Ill post a link to the chapter when I do 💀

Help me I cant tell if my brother has a friend round or if he just randomly has a really good sound system and it sounds like theres someone in his room

Either way I cant leave my room because my social anxiety his horrendous and I will kms if I am seen 🙏🏼

#cross sans #dream sans #dust sans #error sans #fell sans #geno sans #headcanon #horror sans #ink sans #killer sans #lust sans #nightmare sans #swap sans #reaper sans #sci sans #science sans #Drinkberry

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gatheringbones · 1 year

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hello! I wonder if you have a tag for or a few jumping-off points for literature about butches and how we relate to our bodies (size/weight, bulk, muscle, ability/disability, feeling un/desirable, space taken up in the world). If not, I'll search harder! Thanks for researching and reading and posting all you do. Your blog is an incredible resource.

tried to include links to all of these but got overwhelmed: here's everything I could think of off the dome:

Please Come And Be Fat by s. bear bergman, see also hir essay from Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme on butch bodies as sacred multigendered objects worthy of care, as well as the Why Are People Into That? episode on chivalry and the article The Body No Longer Policed By Gender

the essay A Scar Is More Than A Wound that I briefly had access to when JSTOR was free during early 2020; it’s an invaluable text on the intersection of disability and gender nonconformity when it comes to state and institutional violence and the role of aberrant bodies in a violent white supremacist culture

Eli Clare’s books and essays on his history of abuse and how it intersects with his gender and sexuality identity and how that in turn intersects with ability/disability and white american settler colonialist culture

Jan brown’s essay Sex Lies and Penetration from the persistent desire unpacking the myth of the stone butch and diagramming all of the overlaps that crop up when abuse survivors and incest survivors and trans people and broke people and mad people flock to a word like butch and how absolutely none of them need to be “judged, pitied, or analyzed”

Ivan Coyote’s essay from The Slow Fix about butch preparedness anxiety and specifically the bit about lingering catholic trauma, see also Missed Her and Care of and honestly their entire body of work.

Madeline Davis’s essay Oral History and Study of Sexuality in the Lesbian Community: Buffalo, New York, 1940-1960, from Hidden from History: Reclaiming the Gay and Lesbian Past on butch bonding and brotherhood and sex education between older and younger butches and how the drive and willingness to center and value sex and sexuality gave the gay and lesbian civil rights movement the impetus it needed to change the culture and laws of the united states against its will

Barbara Smith’s essay from the persistent desire on butch power and how much it has to do with the context of that butch’s desires (which has as much to do with femme power and desire as it does with gender and race and personal narrative)

Amy fox’s essay from persistence: all ways butch and femme on the joy and power of being a trans butch and how other butches will orient themselves around the question of transness always with a regard towards their own sense of peace surrounding their body and experience

#lesbian literature #trans literature #gender stuff #wasteland radio

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bookshelfmonkey · 1 month

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Thanks for the tag @storkmuffin :)

Are you named after anyone? Not my first name, which I just chose because I liked it, but one of my middle names is Bowie (as in David Bowie).

When was the last time you cried? A couple of weeks ago, when I was feeling completely overwhelmed by the state of trans rights globally and especially in the UK (where I live) and the ongoing tragedies happening as a result. (Sidenote: it's weird to me how little I've cried since starting T, I used to cry multiple times a week and now it's every few months)

Do you have kids? No.

What sports do you play/have you played? I swam for about 6-8 years as a kid but always kinda hated it, and eventually quit when the dysphoria became too much. I did football and badminton on and off too, but was never really good at anything (asthma & possible dyspraxia & hypermobility etc.). Now I'm trying to run and work out mostly just to stay healthy. I'd like to get back into swimming but can't really afford to go to a pool regularly and I'm scared to go by myself. I also go to a lgbtq+ football club weekly when I'm in my hometown (my friend started an under-18s one which I used to do too and it was pretty much my only positive experience of sports).

Do you use sarcasm? Rarely, and only with close friends where we mutually joke like that with each other.

What's the first thing you notice about people? I actually don't know. I think most of the time I'm too caught up in the anxiety of meeting someone new that I'm more focussed on myself.

What's your eye colour? Bluey grey.

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings. I'll watch some scary movies but sometimes they just make me too anxious to enjoy them.

Any talents? I can read pretty quickly with good comprehension (I like to take my time when reading for fun, but as an english lit student who always has a fuck ton of essays and shit to read, it's handy), I can bake really good gingerbread, and I'm weirdly good at immitating people's walks (the same way some people can do voice impressions).

Where were you born? A small city in south west england (not saying more than that for safety/privacy).

What are your hobbies? I read (a lot); I write fiction, poetry, book reviews & TV show reviews (see pinned post on where to find some of these); I embroider and sew; I enjoy baking and cooking but don't do it much atm because I don't like my flatmates so I spend as little time as possible in our kitchen where I might see them; I like going for walks but it can be difficult to get out into nature without a car (ironically) and sometimes I just solve number puzzles/do maths for fun.

Do you have any pets? Yes, this idiot (affectionate). Technically she lives with my parents, but still. Her name's Pepper and she's a generic black cat (it's hard to work out breeds of cats and she's an adopted former stray so there's no breeding history or whatever).

How tall are you? 1.72m

Favourite subject in school? It alternated between english literature and maths.

Dream job? Author/forest wizard/please don't make me enter the workforce (I'm a uni student atm)/I don't know what I want to do with my life.

@yourlocalcorvidcryptid @autisticfordprefect @feral-enfield-with-wifi sorry if any of y'all have already done this and I missed it.

#my posts #my life #tag game

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genderkoolaid · 9 months

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It's honestly really validating to read your thoughts on butch identity. I kept myself from fully accepting I might be a gay trans man for a long time because being a butch woman was so integral to my identity (I wept after finishing Stone Butch Blues. It was like being seen for the first time) and I hated that it felt like there was no way I could be both. So I was sort of performing trans man comphet and trying to convince myself I liked women just so I wouldn't lose that word. There's so much gender nuance to being butch that I feel like gets lost when we only focus on the sexuality aspect of it.

"There's so much gender nuance to being butch that I feel like gets lost when we only focus on the sexuality aspect of it." Yes!!!!!!

I came out very young (elementary school) as a lesbian, and cut my long hair to a pixie in the same year. And then shortly after began realizing was I was trans as well. I spent essentially my entire life being visibly queer and visibly queer-masculine a lot of the time. And this affected so much, because I latched onto "butch" extremely young and that became my model for my gender. I never shaved largely because, due to reading about butches, I felt that it was part of my path, even though I also knew it distanced me from others. My sense of masculinity and masculine fashion has always been deeply butch, regardless of my gender. Its such a deep and integral part of me and has been my whole life. I truly feel that I can't not be butch. I don't relate to a lot of "female socialization" both due to being autistic and being visibly queer; I always knew that, while being categorized as "girl," I was also never going to be a "real girl," and everyone knew that. Becoming a butch adult felt more natural than puberty.

Which is why its so annoying that people center butchness on sexuality, and specifically romantic-sexual attraction to femmes!!!! Because while I have, in fact, dated femmes (arguably I dated too many cis femme women who I felt I had to walk on ice around to avoid scaring them with my butch gender), like I said, my butchness is a natural part of me. Being queer is a part of being butch, but the way we talk about butchness makes me feel like people can only view it existing in relation to romance (and femmes). And obviously because of radfeminism, trans men & mascs' unique relationships with butchness have been largely ignored in any way besides "I used to be butch, but now I'm a Normal Straight Man!" & also the general erasure of transmasculinity in lesbian history. Lesbian spaces have always been a haven for trans people, because for a long time in the West, your options were generally "move to a new town and go completely stealth for as long as possible" or "find your local lesbians and be a dyke within a community." There's a reason "butch" has always held so much gender nuance. Radclyffe Hall, who wrote the famous lesbian book The Well of Loneliness, has been argued to have been transmasculine- but the idea that butches may truly call into question the gender binary causes too much anxiety, so we have to constantly re-affirm that butches are above all else women. I'm a firm believer that butch4butch relationships have long been a way for gay trans men to indulge their desire for men within the context of lesbian identity (because all the trans guys are fucking each other and always have been).

Anyways. yeah. let butches exist beyond our sexuality. Understand that "butch" carries so much color and cannot be reduced down to a simple binary concept.

(Also anon, if you haven't, you should read this article about transmasculine comphet wrt gayness).

#please read The Transgender Craze Seducing Our [Sons] btw its so good #m.#ask box

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teeth-farie · 5 months

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Honeycomb

Muriel/GN Reader

Notes: trans muriel, lingerie, fingering, feminization, roleplay, cheesy housewife novels, 3k words

☞. . . Hey! It’s been a while! This is based on me and my friends headcanon about muriel liking those cheesy housewife novels

Moving in with Muriel was easy enough, you had been together on the hunt for a year, after all. The two of you had long surpassed any discomforts that new couples would face while adjusting in each other's spaces. You found it easy to fall into his orbit, melding together in peaceful harmony.

But one thing you didn’t expect, however, was Muriel’s lack of…everything in his home. Yes, you anticipated it somewhat, but there was nothing to occupy his time or his mind other than work, nothing for him to relax other than a single, woodcarving chisel. There needed to be more, you needed him to have the necessities of life.

So you started bringing home books. Simple, short novels from the shop that would give him a little more wonder to his day. But not many Vesuvians knew how to read, and the thought that you gifted something that he couldn’t use made you panic–but as he picked up the small volume and flicked through, feeling the texture of the pages and taking in the summaries, you felt your anxiety quell. You think that Asra must have taught him when they were young, and the thought of the two pointing to words in a too-large tome has you smiling.

“Thank you,” Muriel breathed, a fascination in his eyes at your gifts, small and lovingly worn in his hands. When was the last time he had gotten a chance to read? A long time. Too long.

He had finished the book in a day.

It was hard to pull him away from it. Many times you caught him flipping the book back open, making his way through chapter by chapter. Nothing could pull him away; he’d use one hand to hold it open while brushing Inanna or stirring stew in the hearth, and it was a miracle that he didn’t try to take the book with him while tending to the chickens.

Muriel finished it during dinner, his attention focused on the page as he spooned hearty stew into his mouth across from you. It was a short book, only about one hundred pages, but it filled him with a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

“Was it good?” You asked, smiling around your spoon, finally catching his attention. He flushed, sheepish as he nodded. “Yeah, I liked it.”

“I’m so glad! Why don't you tell me about it?”

Unfortunately, you had only so many books, and Muriel had begun to get picky with his findings. He liked reading fairytales and poetry, he liked mystical adventures with beautiful creatures, and you only had so much.

So you took him to the market in search for more, sifting through dusted novels and doggy-eared journals for something he’d enjoy. And enjoy he did, walking back home with you with the smallest smile on his face, a new little treasure in his bag.

Nothing was like seeing the awe on his face when the first official library in Vesuvia opened, and while he didn’t attend the grand opening (far too many loud people, he had said), he went frequently thereafter, making unintentional friends with the librarians and allowing himself to bask in the light of the large windows.

You kept an eye out for new literature while you were out likewise, searching through the selections to find something new.

And it was meant as a joke, really. You meant it to be a funny gag gift when you brought home a novel with a hand-drawn cover of a delicate, foresty woman holding onto a well chiseled man.

Muriel’s face had erupted in red, steam practically shooting from his ears. He grumbled, giving the cover a side eye. You hadn’t thought much of it after that, admittedly, aside from the laughs it gave you.

You stir awake, turning over on your side. Muriel’s sitting up in the bed, the bedside candle lit and flickering, illuminating his large form delicately. He’s holding a book in his hands, and you hear his breath softly hitch as he flips the page, his hand coming up to his face and his teeth catching on his thumb. You’ve never seen him react like that before when reading.

“Honey?” You call out.

You hear him choke on his breath and he quickly snaps the book shut, pinching the flame out with his fingers.

“Go back to bed.” He says tightly.

“What were you reading-“

Muriel quickly lays back down with his back towards you. “Nothing!” He practically yelps. “Go to sleep!”

You snuggle back up against him and he begins to relax again. How odd.

Muriel was quiet the morning after that, and while he likes to think he’s sneaky, you know he’s hidden that joke gift book under his pillow. When he steps outside to chop more wood, you take a peek at the book under his pillow. You crack it open to his bookmark, letting your eyes fall on a paragraph.

“-The impish magician finds the nymph under him, her long legs spread open. She smells like lavender and honey, and he wants to eat her whole.

“My hero,” she croons, watery, doe like eyes staring up into his. “Treat me gently, I beg of you.”

The magician's hand is in between her legs, fingers pressing into her p-“

Ah. You hadn’t expected this little book to be that graphic. No wonder Muriel had been so shy about it! You look over your shoulder at the window, carefully peering to see him still halving wood. With a grin full of teeth and a mind full of mischievous ideas, you flick through a few more pages.

…

The next following days you put your plan into action.

Admittedly, you couldn’t wait to get your hands on him. Fortunately for you, Muriel also seemed to be in a touchy-feely mood, reciprocating the touches and kisses. In the back of your mind, you wonder if that novel had anything to do with his more spontaneous libido as of late.

Your hands press against his sides, lightly brushing against his ribs and drawing out a breathy little sound that makes you grin against his lips. His mouth is wet and soft against yours, parted as your tongue swipes against his bottom lip. It makes him shiver, his fingers clutching into the knit of your sweater. The hearth is still burning, the low flickering of the fire warming your skin almost as much as the kissing is.

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” you breathe out, your teeth catching gently on his lip. Muriel makes a whimpery little sound, and you think about how much more you want to hear it. He hums in curiosity, eyes still lidded when you pull away to fetch a bag from under the bed.

You open up your bag, taking out the linen-wrapped package. “What's that?” He asks, interest peaked as you hand it to him. “Open up and see.”

Muriel looks down at the package in his hands and carefully, like he thought it might bite him, he peels away the covering. The sight inside makes his breath hitch, his skin blooming hotter.

White and sage lace, silks, all wrapped into each other to form a gorgeous set of lingerie. He feels his hands tremble a bit, and somewhere in the back of his mind says that this feels familiar.

And then it hits him; this fits the exact description of what the character in the novel wears during one of the scenes in which– oh, oh, Muriel’s face has gotten so very red–

“Like it? I flipped through that book you like so much and thought about doing something special for you.” You rest your hand on his thigh, snapping him away from his flustered focus. He looks at you, biting on his lips. “So what do you say? Wanna put it on, honeycomb?”

Another piece from the book, an endearing nickname for the forest nymph that has him feeling less than innocent.

You’re watching him as he pulls off his sweater, inch upon glorious inch of skin exposing, light brown with scars and stretches. He’s gained weight since you’ve both made your peaceful life together, indulging in things he never thought he’d be able to savor. No longer is his skin clinging to muscles. He's soft, squishy over that strong body, and it takes everything in your power not to sink your fingers into his stomach.

The pants follow next, then his simple underwear, until he’s completely nude in front of you. Vulnerable in all the best ways. He’s biting his lip, gently touching the lingerie in the wrapping.

“Do you want help?” You offer, meeting his shy gaze. “Mm,” Muriel can only whine, slowly, stiffly nodding his head. “Please,” he tacks on for extra measure, possibly a little less shy than you thought; he knows how hot it gets you when he uses his manners.

You feel a little shiver in your spine, one of excitement as you grab the panties and twirl them around your finger. “Come on, big boy,” you whistle playfully and your big boy snorts with a roll of his eyes, standing to his feet before the bed where you sit. “Or should I say, little lady?”

Now that gets you a nice little sound, a stuttery gasp from his kiss-swollen lips. “You like that?” You grin, holding out the leg holes of the panties for him to step into. Muriel grabs onto your shoulders as he does, nodding sheepishly in agreement. “That’s a good girl,” you snap the band around his hips, the sage silks and lace framing his hips and ass snuggly. His hips jerk, already dampening the fabric with his arousal. “So, so pretty. And you’re all for me.” You lean forward, eyes flicking up to his as you press a kiss to his stomach, over the thick happy trail leading into the scrunched elastic of the underwear.

“Ssstop…” Muriel whimpers, turning his face in embarrassment.

“You want me to stop? Are you sure?” You fiddle with the bralette you’ve yet to put on him. “Or are you just being shy again?”

He huffs, face still profoundly red. “Shut up.” He grumbles, though empty of malice. You’ve got your answer, so you hold out the last bit of lingerie for him. Muriel loops the straps over his shoulders, turning around for you to fasten the clasps. You don’t miss how he shivers when your knuckles brush against his spine, or the way his breath catches in his throat when those fingers trail down the length of his back.

“Turn around, let me see you, honeycomb.”

Muriel follows your order without a second thought, shuffling to face you. And he looks gorgeous. Green truly is his color, there’s no doubt about that. The bralette hugs his chest, the scalloped-edged cups framing his breasts. Your eyes rake down lower, down his beautiful scarred chest and stomach, thick patches of hair littering the path, all the way down to the hem of his panties. You almost drool at the way his clit bulges against the cloth, swollen and needy.

“Look at you…” you grab his hips and squeeze, fingers looping under the band of his panties to give them a playful snap. “Back on the bed, hun, come here,”

He crawls into bed after you, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he does. Every shift of his thighs has the heat between his legs growing stronger, a measly friction that makes him feel even more desperate. Muriel’s the one to initiate another kiss, his hands carefully placed on the tops of your thighs. You thread your fingers in his hair, smiling against his lips. You have to use your grip to pull him back to speak, a thin line of drool leaking from the corner of his mouth.

“So eager…Lay down, that’s it,” the blankets are soft below his half-naked skin, although failing to warm him quite like your touch. You spread his legs apart, excitement surging through you at the sight of his dampening underwear.

Teasingly, you run your fingers up the inside of his thigh, up to where he needs you the most. “What was the thing your book talked about? The magician putting his fingers in the nymph’s flower?”

Muriel chokes on a gasp, hands shooting up to cover his face. “Ugh-”

“Come on, honeycomb, don’t you want that too? You’re already dressed up just like her.” Your thumb rubs over his bulging clit, drawing a whimper from his lips. He nods from behind his hands.

“Ah, Ah, I gotta hear you say it.”

Muriel peeks from behind his fingers. “Don’t make me say it…”

You don’t grant him any reprieve, only giving those just-barely-there rubs of your fingers over his clit. He keens, hips flexing up frustratedly. “Please,” he gasps out, “puh-put your f-fingers in my, inmyflower.”

“Oh, good girl.” You grin, relishing the shiver that runs through him. He breathes out shakily when you pull his panties aside, fingers spreading him open. You whistle low, sliding your fingers through his folds, slick discharge and arousal gathering on your skin. “Now that’s the prettiest rose I’ve ever seen.”

Muriel huffs, flustered. You take the time to position your thumb over his clit, rubbing slow circles as you ease a finger into him. His eyes twitch, jaw falling slack at the long-awaited stimulation. “Now that’s a pretty face.” You coo, leaning over to press a kiss against his jaw, teeth teasingly nipping at the skin. “And you’re taking me so well too…” Another finger slid in, two pumping in and out, curled up against the squishy walls of him.

“H-hughh,” his large hand carefully reaches down to where your hand meets his pussy, fingers brushing your wrist. It’s almost like he’s in awe of it, the way you make him feel, the sight of it. His clit sticks out and he can see the way it throbs and twitches when you press your fingers into a good spot.

You take his hand in yours, the one not currently finger fucking him open, and squeeze it tight. “You’re so romantic, honeycomb.”

His whole body feels hot, like a never-ending fever. You always make him feel all…mushy and soft. You make him feel like he’s special and good, and he whimpers when you lean back up and take a good look at him, embarrassment running deep. But, he doesn’t think it’s a bad kind of embarrassment when it’s you.

Muriel clenches down on your fingers when you drag them back out, teasing a third against his hole. “How wide do you want me to stretch you tonight, little lady?” You coo down at him, a devilish little thing.

He swallows, his tongue feeling too thick in his mouth. He’s never been good at saying outright what he wants. “Wide,” he breathes out, thighs trembling while you languidly stroke over his folds.

“Mm, three fingers?” You slowly slide the three in, savoring his shaking moan, before pulling them back out. Muriel whines at the loss, hips bucking up.

“Or maybe four? Or did you want my whole hand? I know you can take it, I’ve seen you do it before, honey.”

The man below you groans, turning his head to hide in the pillows. “You’re teasing me…” you hear him whine, his chest heaving with his worked-up breaths.

“Oh, I know, I’m just so mean to you, aren’t I?” He spares you a knowing glance and you have the absolute pleasure of watching his jaw fall slack and his eyes roll when your fingers plunge back into him. He’s full with three, toes curling when you spread them. “Ah- ah- ah-,”

You pick up the pace, thumbing his clit with every thrust of your fingers—and oh how he squirms, his thighs tensing and shaking, his stomach crunching and body twisting when you relentlessly fuck his sweet spot. Muriel makes such lovely sounds, gurgled little cries as he tugs at his own hair, still squeezing your hand that he won’t let go.

“That’s it, you’re so close, aren’t you?” He nods curtly, biting back a gasp.

“Puh-please, please, I-I’m so close, I’m so close–” His hips buck up once, erratic, teeth grinding. The way he speaks is almost a hiss, hushed and strained. The mossy green of his eyes bounce across your face, lips open in a gape, almost frantic. “I-it’s, it's gonna–”

“I know, just let it out, honeycomb,” you lift his hand to your lips, kissing his sweaty knuckles, and that seems to be what sends him over that beautiful crescendo.

Muriel gasps, strangled, a moan creeping from his scratched throat like gentle hands around his jugular. His body tenses, hips thrusting up–and he squirts, a forceful arc of it spraying from his spasmed core. It paints your stomach, wetting your skin and spitting with each languid thrust of your fingers. “Thaaat’s it, good girl.”

It seems like almost an eternity that he shudders and shakes, his trembling body slowly falling back until he’s boneless against furs and knits. Muriel distantly smells himself when you free your fingers from his cunt, and perhaps he's too worn to be shameful, only crooning softly at the gape. Sweat and cum soaks the hem of his panties, cooling in the settling air. A log from the hearth falls with dimming embers and it becomes clear just how wrapped up in him you’ve been.

“Thank you.” Muriel breathes out, chest still heaving, glistened with sweat under the lace. Wordlessly, you lean down to kiss him, falling between his legs. He reciprocates eagerly, lips parting for your tongue, a shiver riding up his spine. You can feel the heat radiating from his skin, the wetness of your stomach pressing against his. Whether he notices or simply doesn't care is up to you, a languid kiss all that matters.

He’s the one to break the silence after a lifetime of kisses and shared breaths, his arms coming to wrap around your back, his foot nudging your ankle.

“There’s another scene, after this one.”

You grin, bottom lip caught between your teeth. He blushes brilliantly, but the proposal is still there, up to you to grab.

“Enlighten me then, honeycomb.”

#muriel #spicy #sub arcana #muriel the arcana

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