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rin-and-jade · 1 month

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Job Roulette.. or Not: A Post about Alter Roles

Roles like Hosts? Protectors?.. maybe a Cleaner? an Academic?.. why is there an alter who comes out only for driving?! What about these other alters who don't really do much--they got to have one right??

--Are probably what you might be thinking when this topic comes up. But, there's something more into it,, it's not all about what job or how the role is assigned to an alter only.

Well, for this post, lets talk EVERYTHING about how roles work, what kinds exist, why it's there?? And especially, why are some more task specific, multi-role, or even... none? Bowl straight to the point, let's roll out. Haha punny

Ok J, spill. What are they?

Hold on. Im pulling out this dictionary definition of it--ah!

"defined positions that are associated with given responsibilities and are usually allocated according to the position or ability of each person."

To put it in system terms, it's how different parts can do something that others couldn't, or, feel a sense of responsibility in one particular aspect. That's making sense right? But oh.. you still want to know why they're there at the first place. Fine, follow me!

Yeah, show me why!

As aforementioned, this disorder boxes up our different parts of selves with amnesia and weaker bonds of connection which really sets us back on easing our 'modes' for different situations.. not only that, a part's moods and state/personality can greatly affect what kinds of jobs they get, it's not so random as you'd thought.

So, thing is, because some alters have a distinguished ability capable in doing something, depending what fragment or pre-existing knowledge/experience it holds, that can become it's very own job task.

They can be hereditary (upon split or formed), gained (fuse or passed traits), or even learnt (by its own commitment, without any prior skills). Roles come from many origins, and none of them are so different.

But, some are more complex..

I get it, some can have more than one, have ultra specific ones, or literally just don't have any. Now it makes you think--if it was from predisposed strengths each alters naturally have, then why are some more niche? or like, anything else? I know why:

Our brains are complex alright. We both can think maybe we can do (even if we don't like it) and not do something, and these are all compartmentalized in each alters, so basically its part feelings, part acceptance of such trait, and part commitment as the formula. Even confidence or the call to action affects this outcome!

This can apply to who can handle more than one jobs, or for those who are more specific or lesser known roles. In fact, roles do not have any limits, they are specifically tailored for your functionality so don't fret if you have an alter who's job is only to sleep, or anything else 'silly' !

What about the ones without.. roles?

Do you think it feels wrong to not have roles? While it is true that roles are needed, they're not actually a required standard for everyone to have a job task. Mainly, ANP's are the one who usually have roles, but EP's can too.

If they do not have a role, they might be disinterested or think they don't have any potential, or sometimes they're only there to hold memories / don't have the qualified skill sets, and thats okay! You can take proactive action in anyhow you'd like, just remember, every parts aren't forced to contribute, you know? It doesn't make them useless, maybe more on passive support/back ups.

I've also seen some systems who don't really have roles because the alters are all well-rounded, as in pick up other's tasks and that they're not assigned/compelled to do a particular job at all times, like being flexible. everyone's different!

Make sense, anything else?

Well, that we are not bound to roles, they do not define us, and that we can lose, or change roles according to our growth. Have anyone ever mentioned that?

Im aware that we tend to put too much emphasis on having jobs and being contributive, but the most important thing to keep in mind is that we all in this together, and to help each other, in a way or another.

Never forget that you're more than your job! Maybe try to enjoy other parts of life, yeah?

Thats the end of the post. What will you do if you find a new alter with no impressions of having a role? How do you see roles in your own pov? What's the first thing you'd do if you were to be free from your job task, if any? Feel free to let me know, i hope this has been informative, im willing to add anything if something's missing!

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #did system #dissociative identity disorder #sysblr #plural #system stuff #jeducates

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otakusparkle · 2 months

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The Shadow (Ivy) Background Story

Almost all the residents of the town know the Lawson family, the "back-to-back sisters". From the moment they were born, they were determined to die soon. Fortunately, their father and mother refused to give up on them out of their devout faith and gave them names - Ivy and Edith. Young Ivy still remembers how the laughter and joy at home melted into silence, and how the "well-intentioned" temptations from outside the wall turned into malicious temptations.

The resistance to the surroundings and a decision took root in Ivy's heart - her stubbornness did not lead to the ideal result. Severe wound infection took away Edith on the sixth day after the separation operation, and also gave her a disability that could kill her at any time. Looking directly at Edith's face for the first time, young Ivy felt a huge absurdity: when the soul left Edith's body, she almost felt her own death.

"Freshmen" have always been prepared for desperate people. During the few years that Ivy traveled across the ocean and came to a new school, she showed amazing academic talent and made friends with similar fates to herself. Unlike her friends who are obsessed with the field of spiritual healing, Ivey has shown an extraordinary interest in soul science, and then believes that once the soul and spirit can be accurately described, measured and studied, this transcendent and ultimate knowledge will, will be able to fill the deepest void in her heart. Perhaps moved by her obsession, her friends' initial confusion about her research gradually turned into encouragement, and they even provided some pharmacological technical support from the perspective of spiritual research.

However, as the research deepened, Ivy discovered that she suffered from intermittent amnesia and was always immersed in some dreams that gave people a weird feeling. But this was not entirely a bad thing. In that short memory gap, Ivy experienced the feeling of leaping across time, from a moment in eternity, to jumping lightly and flexibly to the "now". The ancient earth, the huge and lush primitive vegetation, and the smell of minerals in the water seemed to have dissipated from us not long ago. Unfortunately, this situation did not last long. After completing hee studies, her friend left, and the feeling became increasingly dilute, until Ivy received some fragments of literature and a diary, the contents of which could provide a complete explanation for his bizarre symptoms. Explanation of. Even though the recorder has quite professional academic qualifications, these words still seem like the crazy words of a mentally abnormal person: an extremely ancient existence that travels freely through different spaces and times and firmly occupies the captive's mind. Brain and mind.

Ivy took the initiative to grasp this fragile straw. When she was conscious, she felt that she had transformed into some kind of indescribable alien, with three huge eyes unnaturally embedded in the eye sockets, and her human throat uttered some incomprehensible and wild syllables, but she Believe that this is a "gift".

Gradually, Ivy stopped showing up in school. No one knew whether she locked herself in her room again or went away.

#idv #identity v #idv the shadow #idv ivy

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misscammiedawn · 3 months

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Ooh I've got a question! When improvising the specifics of an already negotiated scene, I find myself taking long pauses just to come up with ideas for the next suggestion or two.

If this were improv where someone else was chiming in, I'd have time to come up with something new to say as they were talking; But alas, just me. So any time I take to stop and think feels like a pause.

Do you have any advice on how to maintain flow in a scene?

A superb question and one I wished to give time and ensure I answered properly. Apologies for letting others skip the line ahead of you.

A negotiation is typically a framework for a scene. My first bit of advice is to ask about surprises and the spirit of the scene. Having some agreed upon surprises can give you a little something to fall back on to keep things spinning. For instance, I may negotiate a fractionation scene with some amnesia play in which at a certain point I will allow my partner to completely let go, so that the lost time grows more and more with every repetition until I am ready to enact a fantasy of complete helplessness. Then I would work out what level of comfort they have with knowing what will come, what they would imagine/enjoy in those gaps and such. A way of knowing what is within the bounds without committing anything to words so you can be flexible and build the idea into the play and have it grow organically.

And if no ideas come I have been known to just ask my partner to imagine I had done something flashy and imaginative. Because at times the best thing you can do is just lean into the role, even if you're not able to live up to your own hype.

Another bit of advice that plays into it is use fractionation and check-ins to buy time. Know your rhythm and the way your routine ebbs and flows and that will give you time to find your time to fit planning into the activity. The good thing about hypnosis is that bringing people up and down, stopping the play and starting again is all part of the fun.

Next, try to find out signals of what is working and what isn't in the moment. Nothing gets my inspiration more in the moment than feeling out my ideas and seeing something cause a reaction. It may be me using a number of words and seeing one of them causes just the bearest of whimpers or pleading eyes and that just makes me want to find that button and press it again and again.

Keeping the flow is all about seeing what works and keeping it going. Use breaks. Pre-plan and keep stuff in your back pocket and most of all have fun. That's the name of the game after all, isn't it?

#dawn asks #hypno asks #hypnokink writings

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hiiragi7 · 11 months

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I have been doing some reading lately, and wanted to clarify some common questions and misconceptions people seem to have regarding the TOSD.

I'm also more than willing to answer additional questions or asks people have based off my understanding of the theory. I'm also open to being corrected on anything I got wrong.

My system doesn't have any ANPs, we all remember the trauma?

"ANP" (or "Apparently Normal Part") seems to have gotten its definition mixed up in syscourse somewhere along the way. An ANP is not always a part who does not remember the trauma, though they often are - ANPs are parts focused on daily life, vs. EPs who are focused on defense. ANPs can be hosts, caregivers, parts who manage work or socializing, or parts who do chores such as cleaning or cooking.

Instead of complete amnesia for the trauma, it is common for ANPs to instead feel seperated or distanced from the trauma or to not realize the full extent of it or how it affected them.

There is also such a thing as "Mixed parts" which a lot of people don't seem to know about - These are especially common in systems whose trauma blurred the line between "daily life" and trauma, or those whose "daily life" functions became tangled up in trauma (Such as child sexual abuse victims, whose sexuality functions were stimulated by abuse, turning a function regularly associated with normal daily life into one that is attached to trauma and survival functions).

The TOSD lists OSDD as secondary structural dissociation, but my system has multiple ANPs and EPs?

This is actually accounted for within the TOSD. The authors say that the diagnoses attached to each structural dissociation level are generalized examples and not set in stone, these categories are flexible. They also say that elaboration (The distinctiveness and complexity of each part from each other, including different memories, skills, senses of self, names, appearances, opinions, etc) and emancipation (The seperateness of each part from each other, including autonomy, barriers, amnesia, not seeing each other as sharing the same body, etc) can have a wide range of variation within levels. The levels refer to how seperated each function for navigating life (Such as caretaking, sexuality, eating, socialness, defense, and so on) are, and while this is associated with higher levels of both elaboration and emancipation at each increased level, this is not always the case. The authors describe cases of PTSD where only one ANP and one EP exist, but each have their own distinct identities, for example, as well as cases of DID with only two ANPs and two EPs.

Different functions being seperated from each other can take the form of caregivers, protectors, persecutors, hosts, and any number of different roles.

What about endogenic and non-disordered systems?

The theory is not about endogenic or non-disordered systems. It is about levels of trauma-based dissociation - If you don't experience trauma-based dissociation, it is outside the scope of the TOSD to describe your experiences. It is a theory about trauma-based dissociation, not about the origin of all systems and how they work. DID is only a part of the theory - The theory also covers PTSD, CPTSD, BPD, and other trauma-based stressor and dissociative disorders.

If an OSDD system with secondary structural dissociation developed a tulpa, would they suddenly be a DID system with tertiary structural dissociation?

I would argue this misunderstands the TOSD on several levels, and seeing the diagnosis examples attached to TOSD as much more rigid than they are. If you do not meet the diagnostic criteria for DID, then why would the diagnosis change?

I'd argue that the TOSD is not meant to cover endogenic headmates, at all, and bringing them up in a theory about trauma-based dissociation is not really all that helpful to understanding trauma or dissociation.

It is also very important to note that each level of structural dissociation is not rigid - You can change levels over time. The goal of treatment for disordered systems, even, is decreasing dissociation and increasing the ability to integrate new information and share memories and skills between each other more flexibly. If a system chooses to fuse members, some may even lose their "multiple ANPs, multiple EPs" status. ANPs and EPs under the TOSD are functions for navigating life that have become seperated, and increasing communication and cooperation between these parts is considered a goal of treatment for dissociative patients.

Our system doesn't have anyone who just exists to eat or use the bathroom, how can the TOSD still apply to us?

It's actually fairly common to have many generalized roles instead of several extremely specific ones. It depends on to what degree each function of living is seperated to. Some parts may have generalized roles, like everything to do with socializing and eating and work, while others may have very narrow and specific tasks, such as washing the dishes. How many generalized and narrow roles exist in a system will vary a lot, and the elaboration and emancipation (Described above) of each part will also vary heavily between systems and levels.

#syscourse #didosdd #traumagenic

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persoulnal · 1 year

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ALMOST YOURS | JJK PT 4

nurse reader! x mafia jungkook

SYNOPSIS: As a struggling college student that is top of the class and a shoe in for future jobs, helping a gang member on a trip home was not what you expected to be doing. But after helping said gang member, you are pulled into their world after finding out you work with Jungkook, youngest in the gang and possibly the most dangerous. But is this your first time in the mafia world? Is Jungkook the only one with secrets?

WARNINGS: violence, amnesia, usual mafia things. descriptions of fights

WC:3.2k

A/N: hello! Long awaited update! sorry this is not that good and i have not edited so don’t mind errors. :)

OBLIVION: THE STATE OF BEING UNAWARE OF WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU

It wasn't like you expected it to happen. Like most things you aren't sure of its outcome. What would life be if you were to know every ending to every beginning, if you were to be able to predict the future and act accordingly?

Of course, we all wish for this ability but that unfortunately just isn't the case, but perhaps if you had been able to you would have seen yourself standing in the large workout room.

Loose sweatpants hung on your waist and a large t-shirt sat on your shoulders. Your hair was up in a ponytail with baby hairs poking through.

"Are you ready to start?" Jungkook stood in front of you, hands on his waist and hair down in front of his eyes.

"No." You deadpanned, fingers curling over the end of your shirt.

"I expected so." He sighed. "But we have to do this you know?"

And yes, you did have to. You must because you weren't able to see the future that would come from helping a stranger on the street and befriending your co-worker.

"First let's just do some stretches, get loose." Jungkook started to do some stretching and you stood for a moment before realizing that you should follow.

You bent to touch your toes and after brought your hands up to stretch your back. You bent down again and continued to get loose.

"You're quite flexible." Jungkook commented when you went down to go into the splits.

"We had to be." You whisper leaning further into your split. Jungkook looks away from you, hands fidgeting trying to think of what else to say.

"Ok I think stretches are all good. What do you want to start with? Some light boxing? Maybe some sparring?"

"Let's keep it light, I haven't done a lot of stuff in a while."

"Ok, cool. Let's just do some simple technique punches." Jungkook held his hands out and you followed.

"Are we going to keep dancing or are you going to hit me?" Jungkook poked the tongue against his cheek at your words and he lunged forward. You dodged it easily and threw a punch which he also managed to dodge. You spun around and sent an elbow to his back then you turn back around kicking his gut. He grabbed your leg trying to make you fall, he hit your leg and you let out a grunt of pain.

"Sorry!" In his moment of weakness, you were able to pull yourself closer to him and spiral around him, his grip on your left leg loosening so you were able to swing around and throw him down.

"I'm sorry!" You rushed over to him.

Once you reached him, he tugged you down and held you in a straddle, arms pinning yours down.

"You asshole!" You thrashed around trying to get loose, but he gripped tigher giving a slight smirk.

Looking down he loosened his grip but kept his eyes on you, his demeanor softening, "You look really pretty right now."

You froze staring into his eyes and then peeking down at his lips. He did the same, but you quickly pushed him off letting out light coughs.

"I have to use the bathroom."

"Can you do that move?" Hoseok pointed at the screen, eyes shifting from you to the movie waiting for a response.

"Yeah, I think so." You threw a piece of popcorn into your mouth watching Black Widow on the TV screen in the common room.

"What about that one? Ouch- the one where she swings her body around and- get him, get him! Oh, that one's cool. Can you teach me that?" Hoseok kept making comments about the movie that caused you and Jungkook to chuckle.

Hoseok was sitting on the floor with Yoongi next to him and you were on the sofa leaning against Jungkook.

It was movie night and Black Widow seemed to be the consensus for everyone. You were slightly apprehensive about watching it, you knew the basis of it and it felt too close to home. Jungkook made sure to confirm it was ok with you before, to be exact he asked around 14 times before the movie actually started.

"You doing okay?” His eyes fluttered down to your lax figure.

"Yeah." You ran your hand over him for a second. "I'm good."

His eyes turned to crescents, and he was about to say something else when the door busted open. Taehyung staggered in, hand wrapped around his arm and blood smearing down his face.

"What the fuck-"Jungkook and Hoseok were quick to get up racing over to Taehyung who held the door for the next person.

In walked Yoongi holding a man with his left arm. He too had blood that ran down his face.

The man in his hold wiggled around, kicked, fought, screamed. He was struggling to get out of the cuffs and kept asking for the bag to be taken off his head.

"Who is that?" You asked absentmindedly and received no response.

"Who the fuck is this?" Jungkook asked.

"This punk is a part of the Lims. Tried to kill us, sick bastard." Yoongi threw him towards the wall in an attempt to calm him down.

"Someone from the Lims was ballsey enough to just try and kill you out of nowhere?" You followed them watching how the person moved. It wasn't like how someone from the Lims would move. It was sloppy.

"I mean we haven't checked his tattoo-"

You stepped forward ripping the cloth material from the male's head. He shook his hair around and paused when he saw you.

"Y/N."

"You know this kid?" Yoongi held his grip.

"Mark? What are you doing here?"

"I came to get you. I thought that they kidnapped you."

"Why would you come get me?"

"Because the Lims are after you again." He looked down mentioning the Lims.

"Can you guys untie him? I want to speak with him for a moment." You tugged your sleeves down tugging your bottom lip into your mouth.

"Yeah, yeah." Taehyung reached for his switchblade and sliced the zip ties and many ropes letting Mark's hands come free.

You tilted your head to the garden exit and began walking. Mark followed behind and the others watched closely.

"How have you been?" He rubbed his wrists trying to stifle a grimace at his open cuts.

"You didn't come here to ask me I've been. Why the fuck are you here?"

"I told you; I came because Bangtan-"

"Mark.” You paused shoving your hair behind your ear. “Why are you back in the mafia world? You got out. Stay out."

"I can't just let the Lims get you." He held sincerity in his eyes as they glanced at the moon.

"You didn't feel that was the first time they got me." You whispered. "Just go."

You turned away and walked inside not saying a word to any of the men that stood around in fear of what you would do when angry.

Leaving the manor was a lot harder than you expected. With all the cameras, alarms, and surveillance you were almost positive that you would not make it out, but here you are.

You just wanted to go on a walk, you wanted to get out of the house for just a moment to be alone. But anytime you try to leave the house you almost set of fifty alarms.

It took hacking into the system (sorry Yoongi) to disarm the exit to where the manor exited to a small body of water. Around it was shrubs and small wildlife that scurried around.

You sat on a rock throwing stones in the pond waiting for one to skid.

"You know we get alerts when the system gets disarmed right?"

"Yeah, but I turned those off too." You knew it was Jungkook, he approached slowly with muddy boots and a blanket in hand.

"I know." He chuckled nearing the rock plopping himself down.

"Then how did you know I was gone?" You faced him with a few rocks in hand.

"I had a feeling you would try something. Call it intuition." He spun the blanket around your body wrapping it around your shoulders. "You know it's cold out, right?"

"I know." You hummed. "Why are you in the mafia?"

Jungkook was a bit taken aback by your question. It was a strange one and one that he was not expecting to have to answer.

"What?"

"Why the mafia? You don't seem to be forced to be here, you aren't ruthless, so why the mafia?"

"Well. Namjoon saved me, like actually saved me." He sighed, recounting his past was something he didn't do often.

A therapist would tell you to do shadow work, speak to your younger self and relive the moments that hurt you the most. Jungkook did none of that. Similar to you, he erased his past before he met Namjoon.

"My parents were killed by the Lims."

"How old were you?"

"I was eleven." He huffed. "I was supposed to die too, but Namjoon saved me. He raised me. And now I'm here."

"By vengeance or appreciation?"

"Both. Vengeance for my family to kill the sick fuck that killed them. Appreciation for Namjoon saving me."

"Hmm." You hummed tugging your lip into your mouth.

"How fucked the world is huh?"

"Yep." His foot tapped against the ground, he hoped it would show anxiety or restlessness, but you caught on to the fact that it was because he was freezing.

"C'mere." You held your arms open wide signaling for a hug. He cocked an eyebrow at you but slowly moved closer to your warm body. "This blanket is so soft.

"Mhm." He nuzzled his head into your shoulder breathing in.

"You were so strong, Jungkook. I hope you know that. Your parents know that."

He only nuzzled his head further trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill out. He hasn't been held like this, listened to like this, since he last saw his mother.

"You are too." He lifted his head up to look you in the eyes. "My god you are one of the strongest people I know. I am so sorry you had to go through all of this... this shit."

"Shh." Tears poured down his face, you don't even think he noticed the hot stream spilling out.

"I won't let them get you. Not again."

You woke up the next morning with a slight cough and a cold feeling still in your body. Last night you had sat with Jungkook in silence for God knows how long.

"What's this?" When you left your room to get a nice warm cup of tea you saw various men walking around with tinsel, lights, and boxes of hot chocolate.

"Jungkook didn't tell you?" Hoseok lowered the greenery so you can see the top of his head. "Our annual Christmas party is coming up!"

"You guys throw a Christmas party?" You cross your arms in fascination seeing this mafia man hold Christmas decoration.

"Yep. Our leaders of the Child gang come for this more personal one and then we hold one for all the child organizations and our main organizations."

"Sounds fun." You reach out to grab one of the vines. "How can I assist in decorating?"

"Want to help me hang this above the door?"

"Of course!"

Feeling the tinsel was a foreign thing, putting it up was another unfamiliar thing. It had been years since you decorated, let alone celebrated for Christmas. When you went with your uncle there were no celebrations, at least none they would let you go to.

After that Christmas became sort of bitter for you, the decorations and 'Happy Holiday's' bitter in your mouth. It burnt your tongue wishing people a Merry Christmas like the hot chocolate families drank around the fire. Christmas was a holiday you forgot but wished you didn't.

"I haven't decorated for Christmas in so long. Forgot how good it felt to do this." You mentioned as you finished hanging up the last of the lights around the room.

"It's great isn't it!" Hoseok had glitter all over him and you couldn't help but laugh at the shiny specks all over his all-black outfit.

"When is the party?"

"Tonight." Jungkook had entered the room with a bunch of presents in his hand. "I got you a dress to wear, it's on your bed."

"If it is anything like that other dress, I will kill you."

"Trust me, it's better." He smirked and you ran to your room.

And Jungkook wasn't wrong when he said this dress was better. It did cover your ass and was not too low cut, however, the problem was with how it looked.

It was Mrs. Claus outfit, a red dress with a white rim and black buttons.

"You can't just get a normal dress for me?"

"Nope." Jungkook held a smug look on his face while brushing down his coat. He wore a black jacket with an undershirt that was red like the color of your dress.

"Classy." You shoved him while the two of you entered the main room where the other boys were in the circle talking.

Namjoon had called for an emergency meeting to discuss the upcoming party.

"Thank you all for coming. I was not going to do this tonight but with it just being the executives of each gang I thought it would be good to discuss now. There seems to be a spy in one of our child organizations. They are wanting to start a coup."

"Do you have any ideas who is the spy or who is leading this?" A classic rebellion always has a soundproof leader. Often hard to find and someone that would never be expected.

"Soobin or Hueining Kai, the oldest or youngest in the top 5." Jimin answered while turning the steering wheel. "And of course, some of the lower recruits."

"Yes, we suspect one of those two. Please just keep a close eye on any of the younger leaders at this time. Try to find anything suspicious. Taehyung will be leading the investigation tonight so if you see anything strange let him know."

Hearing the noise outside Namjoon clapped once, "Looks like they arrived early so let's get this party started!"

You all filed out of the room, and you strayed behind thinking about the situation he just described.

"You coming?" Jungkook stood by the door as it shut.

"I should talk to each of them. I'm new, maybe I can spot who is acting weird. I'm also trained in reading people too." You stood up brushing down your dress. "Additionally, pretty girls make any man fold."

"Very true but you don't need to get involved. Taehyung's got this." He pushed the door open holding it for you as you ducked below his arm.

"It's ok-"

"Nice to see you, Namjoon." A boy with fluffy brown hair held his hand out and four other men, though you would barely consider them men seeing how young they were, populated behind him. "Welcome back."

"You too, Soobin." Namjoon shook his hand and then greeted the others. They all made it down the line until the boy from earlier named Soobin reached you.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Soobin." Soobin, the boy who Namjoon said to be weary of.

"I'm Y/N." You shook his hand trying to read him in any way possible, He was nice, his aura was naturally charismatic and soft in nature. He seemed like a genuine person that was not meant for this type of life, but those people tend to be the most dangerous. HIs grip on your hand was not too powerful, at least not at first. It was gentle how he caressed your hand, eyes peering into yours intensely. A smile grew on his face and when you tried to pull away, he only held on tighter, making his grip stronger.

"You can let go now." Your eye squinted a little when his smile dropped. He waited a second before lowering his grip.

"Right. My apologies." He bowed and then stepped away.

"I don't like him." You whispered to Jungkook as the two of you reached the table to sit down.

"You and me both." He chuckled pulling out your chair. "Just be civil tonight, ok? I'll be back."

He stepped away leaving you alone at the table swirling your cup of champagne. There was a decent number of people there, none that you wanted to talk to at that moment. So, you sat alone waiting for Jungkook, or any of the Bangtan boys, to make an appearance.

Though the wait was short lived when a loud explosion came from the corner.

Your ears rang as you looked around in the haze of smoke reaching for something, anything in your vicinity but there was nothing but rubble.

"Jungkook!" You screamed out, hand grabbing for the gun in your waistband raising it up. The smoke was starting to clear, and you could see the people on the ground having a full-on blood bath. Men and boys shot, slashed, punched, kicked, fought each other mercilessly.

You kept searching for any of the Bangtan boys, but they must have been mixed in the large crowd.

"This is all your fault you know." A voice appeared beside you, and you jumped back with your gun up.

"What are you talking about?" You looked deep into Soobin's dark eyes.

"They are all going to die because you," He stepped closer and you retreated back almost tripping over a body, "couldn't fucking face your past. You couldn't come back and fight the Lims. And now everyone you know, and love will die."

"No." You shook your head. "No. Shut the fuck up."

"Sweet dreams little swan." A blunt hit to your head and you were out like a light.

"I think she's waking up." Your eyes fluttered lightly trying to adjust to bright lights around you.

"Y/N? Are you awake?" You see a blurred figure leaning over you snapping his fingers. Once your eyesight has focused you were quick to jump up and throw the man to the ground. In the process you found his gun lifting it up to face him and the other three people in the room.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"The ones who saved you." The man below you held his hands up, eyes never leaving the gun.

"From what?"

"Bangtan. They tried to kill you."

"Bangtan?" The name sounded familiar off your tongue. Your head started to have intense pain; you squinted your eyes trying to subside the pain.

"You hit your head pretty badly in the explosion. We are here to help you. You are one of us after all."

"One of what?" You looked around at the four men looking down at you.

"Apart of the Lims. I'm Soobin. It seems you lost your memory." He lifted his hand to reach yours that held the gun. Soobin... that did sound familiar.

"What?"

"I know it's a lot of information but please rest." He took the gun from your hands and brought you to stand. "We can discuss everything over dinner."

Soobin turned away with a grin on his face. Time for phase one to commence.

#mafia jungkook #mafia jungkook au #jungkook fic #jungkook au #jungkook x reader #bts #bts mafia au #jungkook #bts fic

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sonicjustbecause · 2 months

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About Shadow, constantly switching from cool to awful.

I wonder if Shadow is controversial for his being (in some incarnations) a gray (if not dark gray) character of for his being (in some incarnations) a poor character. He suffers for the same inconsistencies of other Sonic characters, for obvious reason (many heads work around Sonic, so this thing is completely normal). Surely, is many incarnations can get crazier than Sonic's. He's not always this sullen calico hedgehog, in some incarnation he may be even cheerful. The only consistent thing is his grim look.

Adventure/Heroes/'06 Shadow

This Shadow is the first and original one. He remembers me a lot Midna from legend of Zelda, a character with a sinister and evil outlook that turned out to be a nice person. The original Shadow indeed is nicer than he might seem at first glance and has a lot of nuances. He's not grumpy and he rarely gets angry, he is overall cool.

He doesn't start as a good guy. He debuts as vengeful, lunatic (he talks like a mad scientist and is melodramatic) and makes a fool of Eggman (Eggman doesn't realize, is funny). All of this was due to his intense unhappiness and his horrible past. He was created on the space colony ARK by Eggman's grandfather, Gerard Robotnik as a living weapon for G.U.N. and as medicine to cure his niece, Maria who had AIDS. Shadow befriended Maria and was a sort of a younger brother to her. Unfortunately, ARK was raided by G.U.N. who feared Shadow, the very weapon they commissioned, and everybody were killed, including Maria who sacrificed herself to save Shadow. One thing that I noticed is that Shadow didn't fight back when he was attacked by G.U.N on the ARK, he just tried to escape with Maria. My interpretation is that Gerard programmed him to be obedient and submissive to G.U.N.). Captured again, he was put in cryostasis. Before being killed, Gerald manages to reprogram Shadow to carry a purpose of revenge, twisting his mind. Yet the core of his personality remain the same, he saves Rouge twice, once not even knowing who she is due to amnesia (Sonic Heroes). Shadow had suicidal thoughs, he wanted to destroy the whole planet while taking also his own life.

Thanks to Amy he reveals his true (and better) colours. Shadow is a brave, selfless yet quiet guy that keeps a low profile, at first glance he may seem timid but is just cautious. When needed he shows a unsuspected boldness and he is not afraid to speak his mind, yet he has very hard time talking about how he feels, shutting off, stopping to talk when stressed. Early Shadow is not always serious. Sometimes he is a fun guy. When around Sonic or Rouge, or when there is a good challenge, he can be playful, mischievous and cocky, talking almost like Sonic, even using his same catchprhrases. He is very stubborn and never gives up, it doesn't matter what.

Shadow lighting the mood.

He is usually sad, melancholic and very lonely, not only because of his past but also because his future and because he is and will always be an outcast. He is a immortal being, halfway between a fully living, organic creature and an android (he is made of flesh and blood and has a heart but his mind and personality is programmable like the one of a computer) and not as confident as he may seem. He suffers from amnesia and PTSD, and this often leaves him confused and doubtful about himself. A misconception is about himself referring as the 'ultimate lifeform' as a badget of superiority, while he often just refers himself either as 'Shadow the hedgehog' or simply 'Shadow' to remember himself that he is also a person and as such he is worthy, too. Since he was meant to die, the sides of his personality are very compressed and complete in Sonic Adventure 2 and remain consistent in Heroes and 06, changing just that bit, according to the nature and the atmosphere of the games, showing that this version of Shadow is very flexible.

At least in SA2 it was shown he could be a good friend to Sonic. With this spontaneous gesture.

Shadow is left handed. I've read somewhere that he was meant to be Sonic twin and he looks identical to him, a full mirror image, just with different colours and quillstyle. SA2 originally was meant to reveal also Sonic's past. However I don't know if is just a rumor or if that there was this idea around.

X/'05 Shadow

Compared to Adventure/Heroes/06, this Shadow is more bold, moody and violent and way less cautious, often taking decision and acting instead of first watching, pondering and then moving like in early videogames. He is more mysterious than early Shadow from videogames. Even to himself. Not my cup of tea, he is too harsh, but he is perfect for those who love anti-heroes. He has the Jessica Fletcher/Conan Edogawa curse, those close to him always die, like Molly. poor thing. The scenes where he suffers the consequences of his PTSD and amnesia are graphic. Oh yes!

Amnesia. Shadow collapsing in pain.

PTSD. He went blank and froze, unable to do anything.

Edgelord(late '00s and '10s)/IDW Shadow

The most awful and unfortunately the most long lived and well know incarnation, this is cemented in all sonic fans. I think of this Shadow a literally anti-Mary Sue. If Mary Sues are those ultra perfect characters, devoid of flaws, loved by everybody and that are always right, anti Mary-Sues are the opposite, character with no redeeming qualities that are troublemakers. And edgelord Shadow can be a great troublemaker at times. I can't see how we got there, or maybe I do. They flanderized the flaws of X Shadow and twisted his good trait. This Shadow is selfish, extremely arrogant, grumpy, short tempered, sometimes blinded by his own ego (zombie arc docet). Whatever he does is just for his personal benefit and nothing else and his dialectic is foreseeable. Team Dark is gone, no relationship of any nature with Rouge and While IDW Shadow is shown to have a soft spot for the chao, in other incarnations of the same period is shown to mistreat them. I may continue but is all bad things, it gets boring.

Archie/Universe Shadow

He is based on Adventure/Heroes/06 Shadow but he is... warmer? More talkative (but still quiet) and slightly more open, also more bold. He doesn't go mute when stressed though he has a tendency to retreat somewhere and brood when upset. This Shadow seems a sort of perfectionist, he hates failures and put himself under a lot of pressure. Overall a softer version of X Shadow. I must say, at the start i believed this Shadow was just a melancholic Sonic. When I played SA2 first I liked Shadow and his refreshing personality, but in later '00 he started to become less and less likeable. I forgot his original personality. Rewatching cutscenes from Adventure 2, Heroes and 06, I remembered why I used to like Shadow and I realized how Archie Shadow made sense.

Chousoku Shadow

I said things in Japan can be crazier than you think, for this I'll mention this outlandish version. Dash and Spin chousoku Sonic is a light hearted comic and Shadow is part of it. This Shadow is quite arrogant, slightly grumpy at the start and a bit aloof but overall is harmless and carefree. The funniest part is when Sonic and his friend make a horror movie (they tease Eggman while doing so). Guess who Shadow plays? The Grim Reaper. Suits him.

tMoStH Shadow

The context is Amy's birthday and it happens on a luxury train. I guess the right place to fix him smootly, if they will actually do that. In fact, this Shadow start out to be close to the edgelord we are used to. You (you play as Barry the quokka, a deliberately generic character that can be whathever you want). According to you, Shadow is frightening. He quickly gets extremely mysterious with his strange requests and his tendencies to avoid you and other characters. Things take a U turn when you and tails manage to make him speak. He is acting this way to prepare a birthday surprise to Amy but you ruin his plans, when this happens he appear resigned and won't get angry at you. After this, you start to realize he is having fun too and that he actually like this place, although he is not too open about this.

Prime Shadow

After years of unbalanced edgelord, we got a more well balanced Shadow. To describle how Shadow fells there to me, I can quote this:

"Where there is light, there must be shadow, where there is shadow there must be light. There is no shadow without light and no light without shadow... Haruki Murakami

This Shadow has some mystical aura around him. He is a living being and real, but when he start to follow Sonic, maybe also for his condition of being a paradox person (even more than Sonic since he can't travel among the shatterspace), he seems halfway between a spirit and a living being, as you except he might suddenly disappear bacause of his elusiveness. He is overall social withdrawn and wary, excepting people might harm him later, competitive, a bit playful and mischievous at times, but he takes things very seriously, is higly focused in his tasks and tries to keep Sonic focused too.

Whatever version you like, one thing I know is when describling a character for your story, original or fanfiction, try to feel, rather than take characters traits as single to describle them. This is helpful especially with character like Shadow (I won't trust those who say 'Shadow is easy to move'. he is not. But is true to all character.

Personality traits are ingredients of a bigger... mmmh... cake? Alone sugar tastes like sugar, milk tastes like milk, egg yolk tastes like egg yolk, but cooked togheter the result tastes like the cake you meant to get. I guess you can put Shadow in whathever situation you like and then ask yourself: 'If I was him there, what would I do?'. Don't think to Shadow as sad, as loner or whathever. Feel it. he will be perceived as real to your reader. Remember it will still be influenced by your experiences and outlook (is exactly for this we see all those inconsistencies on Sonic characters), but as long as you don't use your favourite character as your vessel, things should turn fine.

Youtube analisis are helpful to wrap your head if you have some doubts

My personal favourite is the early Shadow. For light hearted content I'll go more to Prime Shadow or tMoStH Shadow (I like prime Shadow more). If you want to go dark, you're safe with X Shadow. I would avoid Edgelord Shadow (although is the most popular) and Chousoku Shadow alltogheter.

#shadow the hedgehog #shadow #sonic prime

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asspinkie · 17 days

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Tav Character Worksheet

thank you for the tag @hybernating-bear <333

i'm doing my dark urge because she is my favorite! and also because i don't have a tav yet who has a developed enough background to share. i don't have a ton of photos bc i am lazy by nature but this is her:

Name: Finwe (because I am a fringe Tolkien fan and it sounded cool)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Pronouns: She/her

O T H E R

Family: She's a Bhaalspawn so her biological family is Orin the deranged as fuck and Bhaal. Not a great lineup, but she has strong familial companionship with her travelling companions.

Birthplace: Created by Bhaal!

Job: Pregame - murdering the innocent citizens of Baldur's Gate. During game - amnesiac ranger that's gonna save that stupid fucking city if it kills her.

Phobia: spiders. god, why are there so many of them in the underdark.

Guilty Pleasure: Uhm. Thinking about Raphael probably. But also, since leaving the Cult of Bhaal and forging her own identity, she's been trying out a lot of mundane things. Her favorites (which make her feel instinctually guilty because they're not murdery) are 1. saying out of pocket things to the other patrons of the rowdy mermaid to try to get astarion to laugh. he does not. and 2. eating so many baked goods

Hobbies: Doing something hilarious at every opportunity to piss off astarion. She's also trying to learn to play the lute but none of the criticism has been,,, constructive so far.

(sorry if the image quality is terrible! i am not tech smart)

M O R A L S

Alignment: Chaotic good I think? I spent the game picking the funniest (most likely to get her into fights) dialogue options and helping people. Shithead energy for real.

Sins: Death is a necessity and Finwe isn't afraid to be its arbiter if it accomplishes her goals. She takes things too personally and acts impulsively, but is often too stubborn to admit when she's wrong. She can also be on the manipulative side if it serves her purposes.

Virtues: She'll help anyone who asks (if their morals align with hers). She's also fiercely protective of her friends and will go to bat for them if they're threatened in any way.

(^the weed in baldur's gate just hits different apparently) (i just can't take good screenshots)

THIS OR THAT

Introverted / Extroverted

Organized / Disorganized (she spends hours on camp inventory with lae'zel. clipboard and everything)

Close Minded / Open Minded

Calm / Anxious / Restless

Disagreeable / Agreeable / In between

Patient / Impatient / In between

Outspoken / Reserved / In between

Leader / Follower / Flexible (she can and will drag everyone into danger. the only time she steps aside is when its their business - she won't make personal choices for anyone she cares about).

Empathetic / Unempathetic / In between

Optimist / Pessimist / Realist (has a lot of stupid hope that somehow pays off every time?)

Traditional / Modern / In between (this means gender roles i think?? the first person she encountered with amnesia was lae'zel. women are god to her.)

Hardworking / Lazy / In between (often accidentally hard-working because she doesn't ever think long enough to strategize and thus ends up doing everything the hard way)

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

OTP: Astarion, but she's also involved with Halsin.

Other ships: She is a little bit in love with everyone (someone new, Hozier vibes), but if she had to pair with someone else it would be Lae'zel.

Brotp: Her best friend, ride or die, is Lae'zel. they will fuck you up together.

Notp: She's not the best of friends with Gale or Shadowheart. Because she definitely led them both on and is incredibly evasive by nature, so things are a bit awkward now. She also absolutely hates mizora.

thanks again for the tag!! i had a lot of fun with this. i don't really tag, so if you want to do this, feel free!

#asspinkie philosophizes

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restlessthio · 7 months

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Link's and their personalities, in my opinion~

OoT Link is the serious big bro of the bunch (even as a kid). Pretty unaffected by things at this point haha;;;

WW Link is exhausted but keeps on truckin' lol he's also the sassy sarcastic one that always has a little quip ready

SkSw is also eternally exhausted, but he is trucking less.... gung ho. Feisty and hot headed- notably so for a Link.

TP Link is pretty chill actually! He's flexible and accommodating, and can figure out how to work around just about anything.

BoTW Link is responsible, the kind you can call at 3am when you need a ride and he'll be like yeah sure ofc! LOVES a good joke (after the amnesia anyway- he's just 100% work focused pre-amnesia)

#zelda #legend of zelda #loz link #botw link #tp link #ww link #sksw link #OoT link

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arialerendeair · 2 years

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Alec Lightwood Birthday Bash - Prompt Fill

From @to-the-stars-writing

I've seen a thousand amnesia fics, one or the other forgetting who they are, but what about a dual-amnesia fic where something happens on a mission or because of a spell and the others come in to find Magnus and Alec both temporarily forgot who they are, but they're still flirting like crazy with one another

~!~!~!~!~

When Alec woke up, there were three problems immediately apparent.

Number one, he was chained to the wall.

Number two, he no longer had his stele, his bow, or seraph blades.

Number three, there was someone else across the cell and he looked like he was in even worse shape, if that was somehow even possible. Which meant that he was going to be rescuing not just himself, but someone else too.

"Hey," Alec hissed, glancing toward the ominous looking door. "Hey, open your eyes. I can't do this alone, and need your help."

No movement, which meant that the other man was truly unconscious. Alec frowned as he took the other man in properly - pants that, angels below, were they painted on? A shirt that was... less fabric than it was supposed to be based on the slashes he could see, and a faint sheen of glitter on his eyes and hair could only mean one thing. He was trapped in this cell with a warlock, for angels knew whatever reason.

Alec looked around the cell again and tugged at his chains. He had a little bit of give, which was more of a blessing than he would have expected, and his feet weren't chained to the ground. Another quick check confirmed that he still had his boots, and even though the small knife he kept in the holster was gone (dammit, Jace was going to pout about that for hours, that had been a present), what he actually needed was not.

Taking a second, Alec took a deep breath and focused - most of his runes had expired, but he could still hear the sound of guards much further down from their cell. The only breathing he could hear belonged to him and the warlock nearby. Which meant if he made a little bit of noise it wasn't going to bring anyone running. He looked down at his boots and took a deep breath, testing all of his weight on the chains for a long moment.

"Why do I get the feeling that you're about to do something devastatingly ridiculous that only shadowhunters know how to do?"

Alec looked up at the quiet voice and saw that the warlock was awake, relaxing. At least he wouldn't have to be running around with an unconscious body. That would have made things frustrating and unreasonably difficult. "You have a better idea? Magic, maybe?" he hissed back.

The warlock hummed and shook his head. "Unfortunately, however we ended up here and based on the..." he wrinkled his nose and licked his lips. "Memory loss drought I can still taste the after effects of, my magic has either been drained, or I spent all of it. I'm not without some skills, but nowhere near your own, I imagine."

"I'll stand for you being able to walk," Alec muttered, ignoring the way that sparkling gold nail polish on his fingers shone on the faint light of the cell. "You injured anywhere?"

"Thankfully no." A faint rustle. "I am, however, not standing on the ground, so all of my weight has been on my shoulders and arms."

Alec winced in sympathy. That was going to mean he'd be able to walk but not do much in the way of fighting while his arms got their feeling back. "I should be able to get us out of here," he reassured and looked up at his hands again. "This might take me a couple of tries."

He took a deep breath and lifted his legs carefully out in front of him. Breathe in deep, and then move. Shifting slowly with his grip against the chains, Alec brought his legs up further, bending himself almost in half to fumble with the secret latch on the side of his boots.

"Darling, yoga instructors would envy that flexibility," the warlock praised. "Not to mention that it does give one a wide variety of IDEAS, the nature of which is entirely inappropriate for our current predicament."

Alec fought down the urge to snort, his arms starting to burn before he'd worked the lock pick half out of his boot. He dropped his legs back down and breathed through the burning of his arms. "Fuck, I need at least one more round."

The warlock chuckled. "Please feel free to do that as many times as you like. I am quite enjoying the view. I might enjoy a more practical demonstration later."

Alec snorted. "Pretty sure this is not the place to be flirting."

"On the contrary, it's the perfect place to be flirting," the warlock correct. "My name is Magnus, and I will be happy to take you out to dinner after this is over."

"Your wife wouldn't like that," Alec said, his eyes drifting to the ring on Magnus' finger. He took another deep breath and forced himself to relax, waiting for the burning to subside.

Magnus looked at the ring on his finger, blinking in surprise. "I've never had a wife, or a husband, mind you I am as equal opportunity as it comes. Where did..." he flinched, his head aching. "Ah, memory loss potion, right."

Alec gave him a rueful grin. "If it's any consolation at all, I would have said yes if you weren't attached." He'd never met someone as beautiful as Magnus in all of his life. If he'd had the chance, he probably never would have let someone like the warlock go. "All right, let's try this again."

Alec swung his legs up in an easy, determined motion and waited, breathing hard, for his fingers to bump against the lock pick. It took three more tugs, but at last it was free in his fingertips and he could drop his feet again with a groan. His whole body was sore and he was going to pay for doing that without runes tomorrow, that was for sure. "All right, now to see if I remember how to do this..."

Magnus hummed. "Where did a shadowhunter learn the art of lockpicking, I might wonder," he said, watching as the shadowhunter bit his lip in concentration, his eyes drawn back to the delicious sight of those lips reddening.

"My siblings," Alec said, and that was enough explanation, apparently, for Magnus, who said nothing further as he finished getting himself completely unlocked, carefully resting the chains against the wall.

Alec rubbed at his wrists and rotated them, looking down at himself before nodding. He was pretty much unharmed, which was surprising, but he also suspected that whoever had given them both memory loss potions was going to be back soon. He made his way over to the warlock and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Listen, I love being chained up," Magnus said with a squirm, his features twisting in pain. "But I am going to be of no use to you if you don't get me on the ground soon."

"All right," Alec said and stepped in closer before an idea occurred and he flushed, clearing his throat. There WAS a way that he could take Magnus' weight, so he could focus on the lock... "Don't stab me."

"If I'm stabbing you, it's only going to be in decidedly sexy ways," Magnus shot back and he raised his eyebrows as the shadowhunter blushed even darker. "While I am sure that my significant other does not approve, I can't help wanting to chase that blush with my tongue."

"If you want to get out of here without possibly dying, I need you to be quiet for a second and just... let me get you free," Alec growled, closing his eyes to take a fortifying breath. Magnus was married, nothing could happen between the two of them and he was just doing this to help. Reaching down, he grabbed Magnus' thighs and lifted him, easily.

Magnus' eyes widened and he gasped. "Uh, shadowhunter-"

"Alec," Alec muttered, getting Magnus' thighs situated around his waist, leaning in against him to keep him propped up against the wall to take his weight. He felt Magnus cross his ankles behind his back and bit down the noise that he wanted to make as he leaned in, reaching up towards Magnus' hands.

"If I didn't abhor infidelity with every fiber of my being..." Magnus breathed out, clenching his eyes shut as he had every inch of Alec, shadowhunter extraordinaire pressed against him from hips to arms. "You would tempt a saint to sin, Alec. Please hurry, or I'm going to embarrass us both."

Alec bit down a groan and focused on the lock pick. The first cuff, thankfully, was easy and he felt Magnus' relieved gasp, before his arm was flopped down, clearly numb. He shifted and had Magnus throw the arm over his shoulder and moved his attention to the other. "Don't worry, I'm not going to let you fall," he reassured as he worked at the lock.

When Magnus didn't answer, Alec frowned and glanced down at him, but Magnus was biting down on his lip, his eyes screwed shut. They were close enough that it would be so easy to...

"Alec," Magnus growled.

Alec snapped his attention fully back to the lock and finally heard the click that signaled it would let him free. He caught Magnus' other arm easily and slowly, with Magnus sliding down his body in a way that had the both of them groaning, low and desperate, until his feet were on the ground. He reached up and carefully massaged at Magnus' shoulder, helping to work his circulation back to normal, before he moved to the other arm.

Magnus was staring at him with unreadable eyes and Alec flushed, turning away from him. "Are you all right?"

Magnus nodded and tilted his head, studying Alec in confusion. He looked down at his fingertips, a small blue flame sparking around his fingertips and he sighed in relief at the feel of his magic starting to return. "Looks like I'll be back to fighting form soon."

Alec nodded. "We don't have too long, Magnus. We need to get out of here and do it quickly. If they were able to restrain the both of us - that means they caught us once and they could do it again."

Magnus frowned and looked out past the cell door. He closed his eyes and listened, a faint tendril of his magic reaching out. "Two guards at the end of the hallway. There's at least seven other prisoners. More guards further along."

"Do you know where we are?" Alec whispered, glancing out into the hallway. They were on borrowed time, they needed a plan.

Magnus opened his mouth to answer, but was nearly sent to his knees when pain hit his head, making him stumble. Thankfully, Alec, who was the most chivalrous shadowhunter he had ever met in his life, caught him, easily, as though he'd been born to do it. "Memory loss potion took that, which tells me we know where we are."

"Right," Alec said with another nod. "Do you know why they would have given me the potion too?"

Magnus shook his head. "I don't. Nor do I know why they put us together when it seems most of the other prisoners are alone."

"Well," Alec gave Magnus a shy smile. "I'm glad that I'm not alone."

Magnus swallowed, his heart giving a traitorous lurch. He was married, he needed to remember that he was married and pretty boy shadowhunters were... were not meant for him. "Me too, Alec. Me too."

Alec gave a nod and squared his shoulders. "If you..." he hesitated, then held out his hand. "If you were to take some of my energy, would it help recharge you?"

Magnus' eyes widened and he stared at the shadowhunter, who was looking at him calmly. "I... yes, it would, but..." But no nephilim would willingly give their energy to a warlock like that.

"We need each other," Alec said, his voice quiet but firm. "And you need your magic to help the both of us get out of here, right?"

"Right," Magnus agreed, his voice soft. He reached out and took Alec's hand. "I'll try to make sure it won't hurt." With such different energies, such different power, that was going to take more effort than he could maybe afford but he would try.

Alec smiled. "It's not going to hurt. I know that you won't hurt me."

Magnus swallowed, his thrice-cursed heart flipping in his chest again, and he reminded himself that he was married, that he could feel the power his partner had poured into the ring and took a second to blink away the tears before he closed his eyes and breathed in deep. He reached out to establish the connection and gasped, Alec's soul, all his power, completely laid bare for him.

His magic reached out greedily, drinking from the fountain of Alec's soul - but unlike any other session of sharing magic that he had ever done, there was no resistance, no hesitancy. Alec trusted him, and trusted him not to go too far, and not to take too much. Magnus wanted to sob that someone trusted him this easily, this much.

Alec held onto Magnus' hand as tight as he dared, keeping him carefully supported as he felt Magnus draw more out of him, until abruptly, it was over. Without thinking about it, Alec urged more of his power at Magnus, to take what he needed, because they were going to need it. He felt Magnus muffle a noise into his shirt, but he held on tighter, until he finally felt Magnus steady himself, ready for their break out.

Magnus sucked in a frantic breath. He wanted to say something, wanted to explain what it meant for them to be able to share energy, to share magic like this, because it was unheard of. It wasn't supposed to be this easy, and Alec's magic should have resisted him, but…

"Ready?" Alec asked, looking to the door. "I'm going to break down the door and we're going to race down the hallway. Grab what weapons we can and make our way towards an exit. Once we're there we can regroup."

Magnus shook himself and nodded, gathering magic around his palms. "That sounds like a plan. Try not to get yourself killed, shadowhunter."

Alec's lips quirked up. "Same to you, warlock." He winked at Magnus and turned back to the door. He took a deep breath and studied the door before he kicked at where the deadbolt was keeping the door shut, putting every ounce of his remaining strength rune into the blow.

The door burst open and he and Magnus were sprinting down the hallway.

By the time the Circle members, and Alec's had almost frozen at the sight of the scars on their necks, scars that he knew, that he recognized, that made his gut churn and fear choke his throat, turned to attack them, he'd grabbed a seraph blade off the table and skewered one of them while Magnus took care of the other. Relief surged through him at the sight of his stele and he grabbed it, activating runes as fast as he dared before he grabbed his bow. A quick survey of the room showed nothing else and he looked to Magnus, who was staring down at the shadowhunter in front of him in confusion.

"Magnus?" Alec hissed, keeping his voice down. "We have to keep moving, they're going to know we broke out soon?"

Magnus knelt down and touched the ring that was around the dead shadowhunter's neck. A jolt of familiarity went through him and he tugged it off, the chain breaking in an easy motion. He lifted it up and looked at the ring on his finger. They were clearly a matched pair. What was a circle member doing with it?

"What's that?" Alec asked, stepping closer. The sight of the ring had his head throbbing in pain and he nearly stumbled, frowning. "I, fuck, my head, Magnus what is that?"

Magnus' eyes widened and he looked over at Alec, then back to the ring. Alec's fingers were white-knuckled with his hold on the table, and on his ring finger was a very, very obvious tan line. A tan line that matched the ring in his palm. "Alec…" he trailed off and looked at the ring before handing it to him, his hand shaking. "You're… look at your hand. You're missing a ring."

Alec knew they needed to get the hell out of here, they didn't have time for this, but… there was no rune on his hand, which meant that he didn't have the wedded union rune on his chest either, so had he… worn a ring? His grit his teeth through the surging pain and took the ring from Magnus, locking his knees as he struggled to breathe through the pain. "This is part of what I forgot," he hissed, looking up at Magnus.

Magnus stepped in closer and grabbed the ring from Alec, shoving the ring onto his finger. "Sometimes you can trigger memories by putting something back into its proper-"

Alec didn't hear the rest of the words, it was like the world in front of him melted away. Magnus was smiling at him, his eyes bright and golden in a tuxedo with flowers all around them. Music was playing softly and Alec wanted, needed to kiss him with everything that he was. It was a perfect moment, Magnus' hands carefully cupping his as they traded rings and it was slid into place where it would always-

"Alec!" Magnus hissed.

Alec blinked himself back to where they were, captured, with more hostages and then down at his hand that was cupped in Magnus'. Their rings matched, and his eyes widened. He lifted his eyes to Magnus, wide and shocked. "Is that, Magnus, I…"

Magnus grinned, bright and excited. "Apparently I don't need to feel badly about flirting with you now, shadowhunter. My magic knows that ring, even if I do not, and it belongs right where it is."

Hope and joy surged through Alec and he yanked Magnus into his arms, squeezing him tightly, relief that he wasn't even sure he should be feeling making him weak. "We'll talk about this later," he promised, his eyes darting to the other cells. "First we have some cells to open and hostages to free."

Magnus' eyes were bright and angry. "And some circle members to take care of."

Alec nodded and Magnus turned towards the cells, but Alec grabbed his wrist, tugging him back. He dropped his eyes to Magnus' lips. He, he knew they'd kissed, he could almost see it in his mind's eye, but he couldn't remember what it felt like, how it felt to kiss Magnus. "I, Magnus…"

"Come here," Magnus ordered, yanking Alec down by the collar to seal their lips together. He didn't let himself get lost in how easily Alec responded to the kiss, nor did he pin the shadowhunter back against the wall. Instead he pulled back and grinned, winking again. "Now come on, we've got a job to do."

Alec swallowed and nodded, following Magnus back into the cells.

~!~

Hours later, Alec and Magnus were sitting side by side, holding hands tightly as they faced a barrage of questions from their friends and family.

"So let me get this straight," Jace said, rubbing at his temple. "You don't remember the fact that you're married?"

"Nope!" Alec said happily, even as he grinned at Magnus, who grinned right back at him. "Think we're both glad of it."

Catarina sighed. "You're sure it's an Agribar memory loss potion, Magnus?"

Magnus turned to her and smiled. "I am. I can taste it. Which means this particular brand of memory loss will wear off in about twenty-four to forty-eight hours."

"Why do you two look so happy about this?" Isabelle asked, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. "I thought you woke up and didn't know who each other were."

"We did," Alec said, squeezing Magnus' hand again in apology. "But we uh, we figured it out as we were escaping. And now we're both exhausted and want to go home." He shrugged. "I can't go back to work until I can remember things again."

Magnus gave Catarina another winning smile. "And I certainly can't return to my High Warlock duties until I'm sure that I am operating at full strength."

Jace frowned and scowled at both of them. "Why do I get the feeling I'm missing something here?"

Isabelle's eyes widened and glanced between them and she started laughing. "Oh you two are unsubtle."

Alec shrugged. "Seems like a good opportunity."

"A good opportunity for what?" Jace pressed. "Are you both going to be okay?"

Alec cleared his throat. "I'll be back in two days, but I'm going to spend that time recovering with Magnus. I have a lot to remember." He gave Magnus a look and hoped that his blush wasn't showing too badly.

Jace's eyes widened and he groaned. "Oh fucking, fuck you. This is payback for Book Club, isn't it?"

Alec raised both of his eyebrows at Jace. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I am going to kick your ass in training so hard when you're back," Jace threatened, narrowing his eyes at Alec. "Enjoy your days off while you have them."

Catarina watched the shadowhunters stalk off, amused, before turning back to Magnus and Alec, who were still holding hands. "Can I make you a portal home?"

"That would be lovely, Catarina," Magnus agreed, his shoulders relaxing.

With a twist of her fingers, it was there, and Magnus wasted no time tugging both he and Alec through the portal, looking up at his shadowhunter. "We seem to have a unique opportunity in front of us, Alexander."

Alec raised his eyebrows, biting down a smirk. “Oh?”

Magnus licked his lips and started to gently urge Alec back to the bedroom. “Unless you are too tired, of course, but I have no doubt had the chance to explore every inch of you thoroughly as is my right as your loving husband…”

Alec snorted and rolled his eyes. “I’m sure… where is this leading.”

“Well, now I have the chance to explore you again for the first time ever. If you would be interested in indulging me?” Magnus paused, waiting.

Alec reached out to grab Magnus by the belt and tumbled the both of them to the bed, tugging Magnus in for another deep kiss, groaning against his lips.

“That was graceful,” Magnus whispered.

“Shadowhunter,” Alec said, smirking as he pulled Magnus down for another kiss.

And later, when Alec woke curled in Magnus’ arms, all of his memories exactly where they should be, he sighed in relief and pressed in even closer, humming happily as Magnus’ fingers sank into his hair. “Love you,” he mumbled.

“I love you too, my Alexander,” Magnus breathed. “Even when I have no memory of you, you are my everything.”

Alec grinned and rolled Magnus back into the sheets again. “Someone is angling to start our mutual day off right.”

“Of course,” Magnus said with a challenging smirk. “Now, why don’t you show me what you know how to do with all of those memories and experience of yours you have back now, hm?”

“My pleasure.”

#Aria Posts #Malec #Alec Lightwood Birthday Bash #ALBB2022 #Alec Lightwood #BAMF Alec Lightwood #BAMF Magnus Bane #Temporary Memory Loss #Flirting #These two are ridiculous and I love them so much

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