#that you already don’t understand their memes or their slang | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thatdeadaquarius · 1 year

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m thinkin abt the “blunt vs flowery” language thing and…… in the year of our lord 2023, i don't even want to imagine how far back we'd have to go in genshins timeline until we see ‘hey shawty' written on a cave wall-

you try to be better about it, sometimes, using only the fanciest words and the most floral of tones, but all you ever succeed in doing is giving zhongli flashbacks to the archon war-

in the same vein: modern humor. would literally make them think "is this some sort of divine joke im too mortal to understand?" except even the archons need to cite sources on why a piece of bread falling over would be funny- maybe you slip sometimes, but you only ever get halfway through like “i’m neurodivergent and a minor” before you realize they don’t know what that means— “what if i had blue hair and pronouns” but they’re just sitting there like… doesn’t everybody have pronouns….? and kaeya has blue hair- are you implying he’s divine? what about chongyun?? xingqiu??????

anyway um. this is me bringing up my unfortunate (but very funny) habit of saying “i’ll boil you like soup” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced and hoping it triggers Thoughts about the casual/slang threats we make and how they cope

sorry if this reads incoherently it’s 1am for me rn— also i’m debating becoming a regular anon here, are your applications open? 👉👈

SORRY IF I RAN U OFF BY NOT REPLYING QUICKLY!! BUT I’D LOVE TO HAVE LABELLED ANONS! I’ve already added some taken name I could see in my mailbox so check the pinned post and choose whatever isn’t taken! phrase or emoji, etc.! :)

this isnt super long bc ur stuff seemed chill on its own/idk what I could add! So I just focused on one aspect

gif is literally everyone reacting to you trying to speak “flowery” like them lol

ALSO u guys probably dont remember bc I took so long but I’m still writing/going to post that Blunt Lang. AU Fanfic One-Shot! so here’s some quick headcanons ill add on ive got anon!!

No TWs/Content Warnings. SFW.

so this was gonna be chill but-

BESDIES RANDOM SHIT LIKE MEME REFERENCES

THAT WONT MAKE SENSE TO THEM BC INHERENT INTERNET/DIGITAL UNDERSTANDING NEEDED

WHAT IF ALL UR JOKES OR REFERENCES ARE QUITE LITERALLY, ANCIENT??

like anon said about even the archons having to pull out sources/cite your stuff to understand it, like finding really old tablets/scrolls/carved wall words 😭

u giving Zhongli a history lesson/brush up LMAO

If ur annoyed at them u just need to make more jokes, leave em scrambling for their pocket notes LOL

I like to think since you sound the OLDEST

that the ancient shit like Phanes/Four Shades/Seven Sovereigns are the closest in speech

(look theyre all alive and shit for my genshin, goddamit i still gotta tell u guys abt my genshin fill-in lore au)

and they’re closer to the “beginning of history” in teyvat so theyd get more references

theyd literally understand u the best and they like, all in the Abyss or like deep in Teyvat,

so u just casually strolling up to Azdaha’s place instead like

“How’s your day been Azhy?”

“Same as the days many before, my lord. How are thee?”

“Good enough, hey, why don’t I bring some food from my old world by that I’ve made for you to try out? Something new, y’know?”

camera pan left to see Zhongli looking up, then back down as he scribbles notes trying to better understand, Xiao has crossed his arms and is squinting, Ganyu is behind Zhongli and is trying to peek over his shoulder, Cloud Retainer and other adepti have like hidden nearby to overhear lol

♤

FLASHBACKS FOR ZHONGLI-

HE’S OVER HERE LIKE

“Please do not disturb your countenance my Wànsuìyé, the vernacular is pleasant to mine ears and sufficient for speech.”

“I shall, uh, try my best Zhongli, thought I know ye have- wait- thy have? Whatever, accepted it, I shall keep attempting to better match thee!”

HIS FACE-

He’s literally just → 😰😣💀

(flashback to at least 1 really ancient/old god he had to fight for his life against, they were the hardest battle he’s ever faced, and Azhdaha was helping him by that point too, so it wasn’t even like he won alone… rip zhongli got ptsd)

He keeps trying to subtly stop you from practicing it, he also desperately discourages others from helping you 😭

(Zhongli was about to be called Rex Lapis again when Venti was trying to get on his last nerve by constantly encouraging you to speak fancier, but in the incorrect way, at dinner with them one time)

Like that last content with them pretending not to kow each other but 5x the tension and Venti is fooling around even more so than usual lol

THANKS FOR SENDING IN YOUR IDEAS!! I FUCKING LOVE HEARING OTHER PPLS BRAINROTS OVER STUFF!! AND SORRY AGAIN IT TOOK FOREVER!! ITS BEEN A ROUGH YEAR OF UNI FOR ME/IM GRADUATING!! <333 TYSM ANON!!

Safe Travels,

💀 ♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonderss / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylazaa / @genshin-impacts-mee / @wholesomey-artistt / @thedevioussmirk

#fuck my tags #I hate that tumblr doesn't remember for me #im not a machine dammit i cant remember all this shit #genshin isekai #genshin impact #genshin impact sagau #sagau #genshin sagau #genshin reader insert #genshin imagines #genshin god reader #my asks #rip to ppl who wanted longer content from me srry #its coming soon i promise #trying to post p2 of possession au and get that one shot blunt lang au posted :D

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purpleanimeturtle · 7 months

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dum dum

Chapter tree of my Caseytello fic! I really want to post my next chapter tomorrow for Friday the 13th so, here this one is!

3rd person P.O.V.

Casey reluctantly followed the mutant rat-man back into the dojo, which at this point seemed more like a crime scene and that Casey was going to be interrogated for murder. Leo gave him a weak smile as they passed, leaving Casey both confused and utterly terrified.

Casey stood in the doorway, slightly leaning on the screen.

“Come in Casey.” Splinter instructed and Casey did, sitting in front of him on the matted floor.

“So uh, am I in trouble or somethin’? ‘Cause I will easily apologize but-”

The human was cut off.

“No my child, I certainly do not believe so.”

“Great, well it is getting late and-”

“No. I do think however that you should stay here tonight.”

Casey looked at him in disbelief, sure he had stayed the night before, and it would be no problem with his dad if he did stay but Splinter had never really thought Casey should stay over.

“Um okay, but, why?”

“Because you and Donatello should have a conversation.” Splinter sighed, “you are both going through similar things but are both dumb dumbs.”

That was another thing that the boy would have never expected the older one to say, dumb dumb. A slight red flag went off in his mind.

“Donnie and I talk all the time though.” Casey protested, slightly weary of the situation.

“Casey, I know.”

“I’m sorry what?”

“I know what you are, how you feel.”

“S-sir?”

Splinter chuckled, “Michelangelo and I have talked about it before, therefore I know. You have a crush on Donatello.” He finished matter-of-factly.

Of course Mikey had something to do with it. The sudden slang and meme references made sense. But that didn’t stop the human from turning completely red.

“Splinter-uh, you don’t understand. It’s not like that, it's more like- OW!”

Casey rubbed his head from where Splinter had hit him with his staff, effectively shutting up the stuttering and blushing mess of a teenager.

“Shush, go with the others, I wish to talk to Donatello now.”

Raph laughed his ass off as Casey relayed his interaction with the rat to him.

“He, really said that?” The turtle choked out between his outburst of giggles.

“That’s what I’m saying dude,” the latter didn’t look up from his bowl of cornflakes, out of fear of how red his face might be. “Quit laughing man.”

After Casey had left the dojo he had an awkward run in with a certain purple clad turtle, well awkward for Casey at least, no one could really read what Donnie was thinking. Raph caught Casey and now they were eating shity cereal in the kitchen.

“YOOOO!” Mikey entered, very loudly. “So, sleepover.”

He motioned toward Casey who just frowned deeper at the mutant.

“C’mon man, I told him like,” Mikey paused to take a bite of some cold pizza he found. “Like a week ago now!”

“How is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“I never said it would!” The turtle raised his hands in defense.

The two continued to bicker as Raph just rolled his eyes before yelling to a different room.

“Leo! The girls are fighting!”

He snickered, this was the Raph Casey was more fond of.

Leo walked into the kitchen. “C’mon guys, I can’t even hear space heroes over you.” She said, sounding sad about not being able to hear favorite show.

“You guys know what tonight calls for? Movie night!” Mikey answered his own question before anyone else could even try to answer. “I got dibs!” And like that, The brother in orange was gone, shortly followed by the blue sister exclaiming something about how she was already using it. Raph gave Casey a not-so light punch and followed his siblings to the living room.

Plopping down onto the couch Casey felt like he was being watched. You know that funky feeling from your extra sense that you only acknowledge when someone might be looking at you? Yeah that one where the hair on the back of your neck stands up and everything.

So the mentioned boy hesitantly looked around.

April was with her dad so it couldn’t be her.

Raph, Leo, and Mikey were in front of him, fighting over what to watch.

And the alarm system Donnie added would’ve gone off if there was an intruder. But just as Casey could have thought about excluding the missing turtle and their rat father from who it could be, Splinter walked out of the dojo.

To everyone's surprise however, he was not followed by Donnie. But before anyone could question it the purple turtle came out from a shadowed corner, holding a few containers of popcorn, walking over and sitting on the floor.

Much to their families disappointment.

The disappointment however, took Casey by surprise.

This was the longest chapter yet! And also had the most references to the song it was inspired by. Hopefully I can finish and post the 4th chapter tomorrow for the spookies. Love ya'll bye!

#casey jones #caseytello #donatello #jonatello #named after songs #tmnt 2012 #gay #nonbinary #anti tcest #tmnt leo 2012 #tmnt mikey 2012 #tmnt donnie 2012 #tmnt raph 2012

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mothra-mcyt · 3 years

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☾ MCYT's reaction to a gen z reader ☽

!Warnings: mentions of self deprecating jokes!

》 Dream 《

That guy loves your chaotic energy and always pranks other people with you

Would definitely laugh along with your depressing jokes but after a while would get concerned and ask if you're okay

Immediately puts you into the Dream SMP thinking you're gonna be a good character always on his side

Then you end up just end up annoying him (especially when he's in prison) so he threatens you

You can't keep yourself together and just end up having a laugh flash

You once definitely called him a chad for watching football and a boomer which lead to him getting very defensive

》 George 《

Would honestly just end up annoying and pranking Dream with you

You would definitely call him a bottom on multiple occasions. At one point he just accepts it

Gets very concerned at your jokes

You guys definitely make weird tiktoks together

Will just go along with it when you start ranting about how capitalism is the source of all evil

He will also be a victim of your pranks and he can't do anything about it

》 Sapnap 《

Would definitely make jokes about committing arson with you (sometimes he doesn't know if you're joking or being serious about committing arson)

You two are dnf biggest shippers and no i don't take any criticism

When he finds out how touch starved you are he will definitely ask if you two ca platonically cuddle together

You would also be his biggest enemy though always saying how you're going to fight him when you meet him

Will ask you if you have eaten and how much to make sure you eat enough

Definitely anime marathons on discord together when you both can't sleep

》 Badboyhalo 《

This man would be so concerned

Even if you don't swear he still wants to say language at all the self deprecating things you say

You tell him that you don't care that he has a gun and knows how to throw knifes to which he asks why because people should definitely be afraid of that in his opinion

When you tell him that you don't care if you die he gets so much more concerned

Would be the parent who always stops you from doing stupid and dangerous shit 24/7

You definitely called him a boomer once when he said "Language"

》 Awesamdude 《

That man is taking care of you and making sure you’re okay 24/7

After you told him that you haven’t slept in 2 days with you’re reasoning being “Why not” he always makes sure that you get at least 8 hours of sleep per day

Honestly just dad energy

We know that literally half of gen z have daddy issues and when he finds out you didn’t have a good father figure growing up he’s like “I’m your dad now.”

“Have you drank water today?” “Does energy drink/iced coffee count as-” “No they don’t count as water. Go get a glass of water right now.”

At first he wanted to stop you from saying self deprecating jokes but after a while he just gave up.

》 Tommyinnit 《 (platonic)

Chaotic energy²

When the two of you have a plan no one will be able to stop you even harder if Tubbo is with you guys

Honestly just laughs about your self deprecating jokes and says “same”

The two of you have never respected authorities in your entire life and you two will not start

As soon as someone talks shit about the other person hell breaks loose and their ego will get completely destroyed

When role playing on the Dream SMP you guys will definitely just laugh at Dream trying to be threatening

》 Tubbo 《 (platonic)

Depressing jokes. 24/7.You know it’s true. (The people around you will be so concerned for the two of you oh god)

We know very well that Tubbo is not innocent and flirts (makes sex jokes) as a joke with other people his age so he would definitely do that with you if you’re comfortable

The two of you will definitely stay up til the middle of the night playing games (chess, csgo, minecraft etc.)

Whenever someone (probably an authority) is trying to get you guys to do something both of you are just like: No <3

》 Fundy 《

Honestly he completely relates to you

The being touch starved, the loneliness

Difference is he is not used to people joking about those topics to cope

So he's very concerned

"Y/N this is really relatable but are you okay?"

Streams with you two sometimes just end as therapy sessions and both of you desperately need it

He always drags you along to prank people and when the person gets mad he blames it on you and just leaves

》 Wilbur 《

Big brother energy

You are now his little sibling and you cannot stop him

Will definitely cause much chaos with you (poor Philza trying to keep you two under control)

When you two do dangerous stuff he's the one making sure you don't hurt yourself

Whenever someone is mean to you he will definitely destroy them

Will make sure you get enough sleep and will keep you company when you can't sleep

He absolutely loves that you don't give a shit if someone is an authority or not

》 Schlatt 《

He absolutely hates how you not give a shit about what he says to you and how you just roast him

His humor is already broken so he's probably laugh at your jokes and while trying to stop himself from laughing he'll ask if you're okay

Honestly he's just confused on how you're still alive with not taking care of yourself and always getting yourself into dangerous situations

You definitely called him a boomer once

You guys would probably make political jokes constantly

》 Technoblade 《

Anarchy. Lots of it.

Both of you have just random conversation where you start talking about the things you're obsessed with

Both of you are probably gonna have a short attention spam leading to a lot of funny situations

Absolutely loves how you don't give a shit about authorities

Being awkward together in social situations but standing up for eachother

I can just imagine you with the "He asked for no pickles" meme while he doesn't know what to say

》 Philza 《

He is your dad now and he doesn't care if you want him to be.

(He honestly already kinda expected your father figure to be shitty because he knows his audience)

Oh lord when he finds out how you're not able to take care of yourself

When meeting you irl will actually sit down with you and have a talk about you not taking care of yourself

You: "Sometimes i'll just sleep for 14 hours and then i won't sleep for 3 days."

Phil: "...I will punt you into the sun when i meet you irl you idiot."

I could honestly write so much more about Philza basically adopting a young reader

》 Ranboo 《 (platonic)

Constant sassyness

Gen Z x 2

You two would understand eachother so well

Constant zoomer slang and no one except Tubbo and Tommy will be able to understand it

Both of your humor is just so broken and it's so concerning to everyone

Someone is being like "You will do as i say" and you two are just like "No i don't think i will"

Tiktok references. Constantly.

Sending eachother tiktok's about the other's character

》 Eret 《

You two would be good friends honestly

Eret would probably bring out the wholesome part of your personality

Also sending eachother tiktok's and making tiktok references

Arson. Lots of arson. Fire pog.

You will bring out their chaotic side

She loves how you just not give a shit about authorities

Will also make sure that you drink enough water and take care of yourself

》 Quackity 《

He's more random chaos and you're more dangerous and destructive chaos and somehow that works together really well

Definitely invites you to Jack Box streams because you just bring such funny energy into it and chat absolutely loves you

Is very concerned tho when you make self deprecating jokes and when he hears you say one he just looks completely shocked

Completely freaks out whenever you roast someone who's being a bitch (you can just hear the "Where are the askers" playing in the background)

Very dramatic energy from the both of you

Masterlist

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goingmorry · 3 years

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[One Piece Headcanons] OP Boys -> reacting to thirst tweets

Characters: Zoro, Sanji, Law, Kid, Ace, Sabo, Luffy, Killer, Shanks, Mihawk

Tags: modern au, extremely crude language, sexually suggestive, daddy kink mention

Author's Note: Based on Buzzfeed's Celebrity Thirst Tweets. Since no one’s gonna write this, I will! Please don't take this seriously. 😂

RORONOA ZORO

Reads every message with a deadpan expression.

Thinks every message involving violence like "he could punch me and I'd thank him" or "he could step on me and I'd beg for more" are somehow related to training. 💪🏻

Doesn't understand how people can say certain things out loud but he's intrigued nonetheless.

Fan: "I would let those tiddies of his waterboard me any day of the week. 👁👅👁"

Zoro: "...That doesn't seem comfortable. Is that for an endurance exercise?"

SANJI

The thirstier, the better.

Not for his health though.

Nosebleeds after the third message.

His fans are surprised he lasted that long honestly.

And no, not in that way. 😏

Can't stop gushing blood 'cause his thoughts are running W I L D.

Someone has to call an ambulance for an emergency blood transfusion 'cause it's not stopping tonight. 🚑

Fan: "I would love to wrap up my sweet baby boy, Sanji, in warm blankets and cuddle him for being such an angel. But I would also let him raw me so hard until my legs can't hold me up anymore. 😌"

Sanji: *trips over himself, collapses and almost dies*

TRAFALGAR LAW

You know that confused math lady meme? That's basically him.

Thinks way too hard about each message like there's some deeper meaning but really they just want his DICK. 🍆 🍑 👀

Constantly questions his fans' sanity.

Fan: "Law has free reign to pelvic thrust my face until I pass out. And then, he could slice me up afterward and I'd worship him for it. 🥵"

Law: "Interesting. I wonder if you would be willing to accept an examination? Of the medical kind, of course."

EUSTASS KID

Knows that people act differently online vs. in person.

So he adds fuel to the fire.

Acts like he's down to fuck.

But only because he knows most people don't have the guts to follow through.

Fan: "Kid's like 6'8. I'm like 99 percent sure that his cock is fucking massive. He would absolutely D E S T R O Y me, but tbh I ain't gonna be the one complaining. 🤤"

Kid: "Wanna come say that to my face?" *wide grin*

PORTGAS D. ACE

Flustered af but extremely polite it's laughable.

It could literally be the raunchiest message and he'll fucking thank them like they just complimented his hat weaving skills.

Gives a small bow after reading every tweet.

Genuinely surprised that so many people find him attractive enough to thirst over him.

Fan: "I know Ace always prances around shirtless but can he also go pantsless too? Please just let him be straight up naked. I need to admire that thicc ass of his. 😩"

Ace: "That's very kind of you. Thank you so much for the compliment. 😊"

SABO

Cheeky bastard.

Reads the messages very slowly with no shame whatsoever.

Responds cooly and makes eye-contact with the camera.

Fan: "Listen here, bitches. I only drink two things to quench this thirst: water and Sabo's cum. And water's not gonna cut it for me anymore. 🙃"

Sabo: "I appreciate your enthusiasm, and I will keep this in mind." *smirks at the camera*

MONKEY D. LUFFY

Asks a question every single damn time. LMAO.

Straight up definition of ???

Visibly confused like a lost puppy.

"What does bussy mean?"

"What is creampie? Is that food?"

"I don't understand what they mean by blow. They want to blow me? But I can already blow myself."

Proceeds to use Gear Third to enlarge himself. 😧

Chaos ensues. Cameras start flying everywhere and the studio begins to panic.

KILLER

Shy af. 😳

Has to pause in between reading each thirsty message due to embarrassment.

Surprised at the horniness of the tweets.

Luckily for him, his mask hides his flustered face well.

Fan: "I want Killer to suffocate me with those thicc thighs of his. I would literally thank him for it. 😩"

Killer: "Hmm... That doesn't sound very pleasurable."

SHANKS

110% down to clown. 🤡

Laughs every time he reads about people thirsting over him.

He's sexy, he knows it, and he's not going to apologize for it.

Ends up making his fans blush instead.

Asks the interviewer for the most explicit messages.

Basically, do your worst. He can handle it.

Fan: "Shanks, I'm just a hole, sir."

Shanks: "If that's how you want it to be, sweetie. I promise I'll be gentle." *winks at camera* 😏

DRACULE MIHAWK

Out of touch with internet culture.

Lost with all the abbreviations and slang.

Has to ask the interviewer what "thirsty thot" means.

Responds to the horny messages with his own banter but with the most serious expression ever.

Flattered that people find him attractive.

Fan: "Oh god. Daddy Mihawk, please I stg I will literally pay to lick those sweet abs. 👅"

Mihawk: "I'm not your father, but I suppose I will entertain you just this once."

#one piece x reader #roronoa zoro x reader #sanji x reader #trafalgar law x reader #eustass kid x reader #portgas d. ace x reader #sabo x reader #monkey d. luffy x reader #killer x reader #shanks x reader #dracule mihawk x reader #this is a joke post lmao #i need to entertain myself i'm sorry #i understand if you block me #mywriting #one piece headcanons #one piece writing

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jostepherjoestar · 3 years

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Ah I was sitting on this idea while waiting for requests to open! I loved your ask that had La Squadra meeting Risottos daughter from the future that got me thinking what if La Squadra had a memey s/o from present time? Would they ask lotta questions about the future and get confused when they speak in vine or tiktok references? 😆

La Squadra with a meme-y s/o from the future

gn reader // sfw

ahh that was such a cute ask and glad it made you think of this idea! thank your for requesting this and omg so so so so sorry it took so long, hope you’ll still enjoy it none the less! 💖✨ (you and your LS bf have a good comprehension of each other’s timelines and are used to traveling back and forth a bit :D)

Risotto

He knows the complications are endless and at times it all seems incomprehensible- having an s/o who can literally time travel; but your sheer knowledge of memes and the way you seem to effortlessly drop them into everyday conversation is astounding to him.

He doesn’t understand them that well, no amount of context or explaining will help. It’s simply a language he does not understand that well. And the memes or slang he kind of does understand, he just doesn’t find that funny.

However, he will never actually find it a bother when you drop a few weird jokes. The way they make you laugh and sometimes even dry-heave from the hilarity makes him love you even more.

In moments like that he’ll dryly let out a few slang words he remembers. You will never forget the time he let out a serious and deep “yeet” when you were already hysterically laughing, his addition might have made you stop breathing for a minute. It still makes you grin when you remember him shaking your shoulders and telling you to “breathe dammit!!”

Overall this man does not really get it or find it that entertaining himself, but he’ll gladly tease you and make you smile with the stuff he picks up. Risotto just can’t stop staring at your beaming grin.

Formaggio

Although he doesn’t truly grasp the layers of certain jokes or memes, Formaggio is your man! He’ll start using jokes and memes he learned from you and is so pleased when he makes you laugh with them.

Formaggio is great at continuing a bit but once he loses interest he just...stops. Which is kind of perfect since your knowledge of vines is a lot bigger than those of tiktoks so those quick six seconds are easy to get the point across.

He’ll still get some stuff wrong but he gets the gist of them. He loves annoying his teammates with his newfound references and they all can’t stand him. The second he opens his mouth with that smug look in his eyes, they all sigh in unison and prepare for the incomprehensible babbling that’s about to commence.

The rest of the gang likes you but when you and Formaggio are hanging out at headquarters together, they tend to keep conversations quick because they know once you two team up, the suffering will never end.

“Babe, wake up! New meme just dropped!”

You two are a menace to deal with but god if it isn’t sickeningly cute and funny when he calls you his baby, his cinnamon apple!

Illuso

Don’t get Illuso wrong, he loves you but dear heavens you are on thin ice with him. He isn’t the most joke-y type, he likes a good chuckle but please do not oversaturate him with references he does not get.

He has little to no interest in the videos you wish to show him and even less interest in remembering the ones he begrudgingly watched.

At this point you’re allowed a couple jokes a day, he doesn’t count or literally prevent you from saying them, but you know each other well enough to see when he’s actually getting annoyed.

To shut you up he’ll try and fluster you! He’ll look into your eyes so intensely as you continue talking about a meme, one eyebrow cocked and one side of his beautiful lips curled up into a smug grin.

He’ll place a single hand on your cheek, his thumb gently swiping across it while the rest of his large hand and fingers rest on your scalp. As he hears you stumble over your words and can feel your cheeks heating up he’ll get in nice and close to your lips. Ghosting his over yours and placing a single kiss that you wish would last longer. That’ll keep you quiet for a bit 😌

He accidentally (re-)invents “that’s cringe” without your help. (he’s referring to you, sorry bestie)

Prosciutto

Why are you saying these weird words AT him? Why must you crease his brows even further?

Prosciutto’s patience is getting tested with you and your innate need for adding incomprehensible colourful commentary to everyday things and situations. He truly doesn’t get it and there is no amount of explaining you can do to change his mind. Even after the memes make even a little sense, he won’t find them funny.

He does love you, so much in fact, that he knows asking you to stop isn’t going to work and it wouldn’t be a fair thing to do. He sees how your smirk feeds into the satisfaction of landing a joke in your present time where most of your friends know what you’re talking about.

However when you come around his part of the space time continuum, playtime is over. Well mostly. He does enjoy being a bit goofy around you, his snarky comments get a sarcastic edge that parallels your need for adding a fun flair to mundane things.

The only time you made him laugh with a meme was when you kept repeating “i can’t believe you’ve done this” over and over while poking his cheeks during a playful mood. After a final poke, Prosciutto’s resolve finally breaking, he couldn’t help but snicker. With one final addition of the line, ever surprised by the wonderful sound he makes when he finally breaks, you stop and stare. Enamoured by your wonderful boyfriend and his gorgeous smile.

Pesci

He’s the most supportive partner out there! Anything that makes you laugh and giggle, like the memes you keep showing him, fills his mushy heart with joy.

Pesci will kind of get them? They all make sense in a way, but some of them just go above his head because of the layers of internet knowledge he does not possess. Although he really loves it when you show him stuff that reminded you of him.

🥺🥺🥺🥺 <-- his face the entire day after you show him cute pictures of animals and said they made you think of him. He’s just so in sickeningly smitten with you.

He’ll try out a couple of internet slang terms and blush really badly when they make you laugh. If Pesci could, he’d play your laughter on loop 24/7. Him baby, ok?

When the whole internet was debating their existence and that of every object because everything is cake, you quizzed Pesci on his cake-recognizing skills. He failed horribly, they all looked way too realistic and he might have had a small existential crisis.

You playfully bit his wrist to show he wasn’t made of cake, planting some kisses along the sensitive spot. He shivered at your tickling pecks, relieved he wasn’t just a tasty confection and even happier that you’d love him regardless.

Melone

Your meme comrade.

The first mistake was showing him what the internet was like in your future timeline. He got so invested in its machinations and the entire culture surrounding it. He studied every single social media outlet. Every niche he could find only fuelling his curiosity.

Pandora’s box has been opened and there is no turning back now. Not only does he get all the memes and vines you show him, he memorized them too. Melone will artfully display his knowledge in daily life when you’re around and show off.

Do you regret showing him? Maybe...but is it hilarious to hear him quote terribly long copy/pastas? Yes. Yes it is.

He will steal your phone so he can feed into his meme needs, saving the most fried up images that barely make any sense, to your gallery. You sorted the ones he saves into a special folder so you wouldn’t have to strain your eyes so much.

It’s all fun and games until he starts referencing stuff during more intimate times. At first they made you laugh but as time went on you had to ask him to stop.

Hearing Melone whisper “eeby deeby” while kissing his way down your neck might not be the mood you’d preferred. (hearing him sigh and say “so, no head?” was pretty hilarious tho)

Ghiaccio

To your surprise, once he understands the memes and gets the references, he becomes quite good at using them as well. Steering clear of the misspelled ones, of course. (one bad gloop might actually kill him)

Ghiaccio is such a big softie once he’s alone with you, letting his guard down and finally calm, not irked or stressed by his surroundings.

He loves it when you show him new weird pictures you saved because they made you think of him. You don’t allow him to have a smartphone no matter how much he wants it (it’ll mess up sensitive time stuff) so when you’re scrolling through your preferred meme gathering app with Ghiaccio alongside you, he’ll point out ones and snicker a “that’s you”.

It makes your heart melt how cute he can be with the stuff he picks out. Once he actually said “you’re baby” and you felt your soul leave your precious body as his cheeks turned redder than plush tomatoes in summertime.

When he’s around the rest of the squad or in a more public setting, the usual stressors return. But with you around to offer quick witty jokes, things tend to become less focused on irritation.

You are 100% sure you’ve heard him yell the famous words “AM I WRONG?!” during a heated argument with Melone. You had to leave the room to prevent worsening things, holding in your laughter and silently dying as you heard him rave on.

#cozy ask #jjba x reader #la squadra x reader #jjba headcanons #risotto x reader #formaggio x reader #illuso x reader #prosciutto x reader #pesci x reader #melone x reader #ghiaccio x reader #jjba imagines #la squadra headcanons #jojo's bizarre adventure #sfw #gn reader #thank you for your patience guys #it means a lot

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im-the-letter-t · 3 years

Text

Writing Prompts

“If they die, that’s on you.”

“You manage to make me smile on my worst days.”

“If you don’t stop being so cute, I will literally have to cuddle you to death.”

Someone threatens to hurt Person A in order to manipulate Person B.

“What were you thinking? You could have died!”

“You’re baby.” “ What does that mean? You know I don’t understand slang.”

“I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.”

“Of course you had something to do with this.”

“If anything ever happened to you, I would never forgive myself.”

Person A finds a positive pregnancy test in the trash and asks Person B about it.

“There’s a chicken stuck under the bed.” “Are you joking?” “Do I look like I’m joking?”

“When are you two just going to get married already?” “We’re not even dating.”

“I love you.” “Prove it.”

“Hey, only person here I actually enjoy spending time with.”

“What do you want for dinner?”

“How are you this amazing?”

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

“How is it physically possible for you to be this dumb?”

A year long camping trip. They live in an RV for a year and travel the country/ another country.

“We should have a baby.”

“Did you just lick the window?”

“I can’t lose you. I just can’t!”

Person A spends the entire day trying to sneak attack Person B with kisses at random moments.

“When they died, so did I.”

“You’re late.” “Sorry, I would have been on time, but I really didn’t want to come, so…”

Person A, Person B, and Person C are in New Jersey for work reasons. Person A is obsessed with Hamilton and won’t stop saying, “Everything is legal in New Jersey.”

“You deserve to be loved.”

“I need you to stay by my side forever.”

Person A and Person B are in a heated argument and nobody knows why. They’re fighting over who loves the other more.

“What does “power shrimp” mean and why did you write it in your notebook?”

“You light up my life.”

“And there goes the rest of my dignity.”

Person A pins up horribly made memes around the house.

“Sorry I’m late, I fell into the fountain at the park.”

“Why is the dog wearing a Yoda costume?”

“I know for a fact that that isn’t your sweater.”

“What time is it?” “3 a.m.” “Why are you bothering me at three in the morning?”

“Why are there googly eyes everywhere?”

“Why do you have to shatter my heart into a million pieces every time you see me?”

“How can something that made me so happy destroy me like this?”

“You make my soul happy.”

“I literally don’t think I’m physically capable of living without you.”

Person A can’t sleep, so they go to make a snack or something and Person B is already in the kitchen.

“You don’t even live here.”

“Do you love me?”

“I’m so glad you’re okay!”

“It’s not okay, you’re crying because of me!”

“I miss the way things were before.”

“I have no idea what I just witnessed, but it was entertaining.”

“I just want to hold you and never let go.”

“Nobody loves me.” “I do.” “Shut up.”

“How are you so good at this?”

“Why are you dressed like that?”

“Every day I know you, I love you more.”

“You look so cute in pajamas.”

“Why are there googly eyes everywhere?”

“How are you so beautiful?”

“If things were different…” “Will you stop that for one second and just enjoy this moment right now?”

“Are you trying to seduce me?” “Is it working?”

“I can’t believe I forgot our anniversary!”

“You need to sleep.”

“You always manage to make me laugh.”

“I feel like my heart was ripped straight out of my chest.”

“Words cannot describe how beautiful you are.”

“They better not be dead or so help me…”

“I’m cold.” “You’re always cold.”

“They hung up on me!”

“I am not sick!”

“I haven’t seen you in forever!” “It’s been 20 minutes”

“I will never stop needing you.”

“Don’t tell me you’re scared.”

“I’m not marrying them.”

“I’m so in love with them right now.”

“It shouldn’t be physically possible for me to love you this much.”

“What the hell is with all of the sock puppets?”

“You look stunning.”

“Is there really an ostrich in our living room, or am I seeing things?”

“I have an idea” “Uh oh.”

“I wish I could find the words to express just how much I love you.”

“I zoned out like, 10 minutes ago. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You have frosting on your nose.”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Your hair is soft when you brush it.”

“I brought an extra blanket.”

“I know I don’t deserve it, but I need you to forgive me.”

“You deserve to be happy, so I’m not leaving until I cheer you up.”

“You’re okay. It was just a nightmare.”

“I wish I’d never met you!”

“I could be dead and you wouldn’t even care!”

“Please don’t do that again. Ever.”

“I’m a complete mess!”

“Why are you like this?”

“Just shut up.”

“You’re my favorite person ever.”

“You shouldn’t kill them.”

“Just stay right here with me forever.”

“Who would want to carry a giant pickle around the park?”

“I told you not to bring home a puppy.”

“You never take my advice.”

“I love you, but that’s so stupid.”

#writing prompts #prompt list

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imherongraystairstrash · 3 years

Note

I don’t think this is along the line of your usual fics, at least I’ve only seen you post one thing in the TDA series, but would you be willing to write Kit and Kieran bonding after Kieran finds out that they’re related? Because I just feel like Kieran would be happy to have a family member that he actually likes, and isn’t a horrible person.

Yes! Kieran would be so happy to have a family member that doesn’t treat him horribly! I also want to apologize for posting this monster of a fic. I just had too much fun writing this! Kit’s POV is something I didn’t know I needed to write until now. ALSO, it broke my heart to write some of this so... You’re welcome.

Characters: Kit & Kieran bonding times (platonicccc I don’t want anyone thinking this is anything other than platonic because, ew)

Notes: This is a couple of days before Kit goes to live with Jem and Tessa :)

...

Kit had been staring out into the distance for so long, time seems to have lost it’s essence. He kept telling himself to stop standing there and go back inside. Perhaps he should do some packing, since Jem Carstairs and Tessa Gray were going to come in a couple of days and take him to Devon. But all Kit had done this evening was this; looking out at LA and wondering how his life had changed so drastically in the span of a couple of months.

He had the balcony door open and turned to find Kieran standing there.

“Is it alright if I stay here?”

Kit simply nodded at him and then turned back to the view. It was a really nice view. Nothing like the one he had in his old house.

Kieran rested his forearms on the railing and looked out at the city, just as Kit was doing.

“Do you mind if I ask you a question?” Kieran asked.

“Nope, go ahead.”

“When you look out at this view,” Kieran said, “do you see what you would consider to be ‘home’?”

Kit shrugged. “I’ve never seen LA from here before, so it doesn’t really look like home. Except for that street over there; I used to pass it when I was going to school in the morning.”

Kieran squinted, trying to identify the street. He didn’t know why, but Kit sort of liked that he was actually putting in the effort to find the street he was talking about. Most people would shrug it off or nod and smile a fake smile, just so that they could end the small talk. It sort of felt like Kieran actually cared about what Kit said.

“Is it the one that goes along that building with red lights?”

“Uhh,” Kit looked at the expanse of red lights, none of which were near the street he had been talking about. “Not really. It’s the one that has that stop sign at the end of it.”

“I’m afraid I do not have knowledge of what a ‘stop sign’ is or what it may look like.”

Kit’s eyes widened and he bit back the urge to say “wow”. How old was this guy? How secluded was Faerie? He didn’t ask those questions though, because they seemed rude.

“It’s okay, Kieran. I won’t be offended if you don’t want to keep looking for it. I mean, it’s pretty small.”

“No, I want to find this path you had taken to your school in the past. It feels important.”

“Oh okay. Umm,” Kit looked at the street. “Oh, do you see that green car over there?”

“Hm. Oh yes! I do see it!”

“Okay, to the right of that road, is the street I was talking about.”

“Is there a woman and a man professing their love to one another, for all to see, on the lighter road, beside that bigger, darker road?”

Kit blinked. And then he understood. “Oh, you mean that couple making out on the sidewalk? Yeah, that’s the one.”

Kieran smiled, clearly proud he’d found the street. Kit smiled too, because it had been a little fun. Then his mind drifted and he thought about how Kieran was supposedly related to him. That was really weird. He also looked nothing like Kieran; but maybe that was because they weren’t that related.

“Hey, Kieran?”

“Yes?”

“How are we related again? Are we like cousins or something?”

“I think your great-great grandmother was my half sister?”

“Oh.” Kit said. “Well, I still don’t know what to call you. Are you like my great-great-great uncle, then?”

Kieran looked pensive. “Perhaps?”

“Cool.”

“I was thinking it was a bit hot, actually.”

Kit felt his jaw drop. What the hell?

“What?”

Kieran looked at him surprised. “You said you were cold, but I think it’s rather warm outside. Hot, even.”

Kit released a breath in relief. “Oh, oh okay. Thank God.”

“For what?”

“Oh, nothing.”

They looked out at the landscape in front of them. Kit was going to just let the silence hang, when he suddenly felt bad for his Triple-G Uncle (yes, he thought, that’s what I should call him).

“Oh, Kieran?”

“Yes?”

“When someone says ‘cool’ they usually mean, like…‘nice’.”

Kieran looked at him and tilted his head to the side. “I don’t believe I follow…”

“It’s like… uh… you see, i—it’s hard to explain. Let me think.” Kit furrowed his eyebrows trying to figure out how to explain. “Well, it’s like saying ‘awesome’ or ‘great’, you know?”

Kieran pressed his lips together. “Oh. That makes a little bit of sense.”

“Oh, really? Cool! I thought what I just said just confused you even more.”

“No, no. I think I understand now, especially after you used it in a sentence.”

“Huh. And you’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”

Kieran eyed him. “Even if I wanted to, I cannot lie. I’m Fae.”

“Oh, yeah.” Kit bit his lip. “I forget that sometimes.”

Kieran snorted. “I don’t.”

Kit pressed his lips together. He wanted to know more about his ancestors, and now was as good a time to ask. And when would he get a better opportunity to learn? Here was Kieran, who was raised in the Unseelie Court. Just ask, Kit, he thought. Just ask the stupid question already, before you leave and won’t ever be able to know. Just do it.

Kit almost laughed because that reminded him of a vine he had first seen in second period math. Then, he shuddered because ugh, second period math. That class was torture unlike any he had ever endured.

Anyways, what had he been thinking about? Oh yes; he had to ask Kieran his question.

“Christopher?”

Darn it. Just when he was going to ask his question. “Yeah?”

“I do not recall ever having a family member that has never tried to kill me or was cruel, save my brother, Adaon.”

“Oh,” Kit said, eyes wide as he shifted his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “That’s um—that sucks, Kieran. I—I’m sorry?”

“Why do you apologize?”

Kit frowned, “I don’t know. That’s the sort of thing people say.”

Kieran hummed. “You mortals apologize too much.”

Kit didn’t have anything to say, other than ‘sorry’ which would be kinda dumb, considering what Kieran just said. So, he opted for silence.

“As I was saying,” Kieran continued. “I do not think I have had a good relationship with family members for a long time, so I hope you can forgive me if I do not keep good company; I don’t interact well with others because of my upbringing.”

“Oh.” Kit bit his lip, absentmindedly. What does this mean?

As if reading his mind, Kieran added quickly. “I just thought that perhaps we could try to be each other's family?”

“Nobody’s ever wanted me to be their family member before.” Kit mumbled.

“I can say the same for myself.” Kieran said. “I thought maybe we could talk and introduce ourselves better. I know family isn’t just blood but—”

“I’d like that.” Kit interrupted, without meaning to. “Get to know each other, I mean.”

Kieran looked surprised. “You would?”

“Yeah. I mean, you seem pretty dope—I mean, interesting.”

Kieran smiled. “You, too, seem ‘dope’”

Kit laughed at that. Maybe it would be fun to teach Kieran modern slang.

“Okay, first things first though, nobody really calls me Christopher, unless I royally messed up. You can call me Kit, instead.”

And so they talked to one another. Nothing too deep. It was the type of conversation that has no real subject to it, and because of that, it was enjoyable. Kit got to ask his question about Faerie and Kieran asked him questions about the mundane world. Kit even showed him the Katy Perry left shark meme. Kieran’s face when Kit told him that there were people inside those costumes could have also been a meme.

Kit did not know where life would take him. He supposed that living with Jem and Tessa couldn’t be too bad. Who knew? Maybe they won’t ignore him as his dad had. Then again, isn’t that what parents normally do with their children? Just pretend like they don’t exist, except for times when it’s convenient for them?

It didn’t really matter, not right now. At least Kieran felt Kit was worth his time, and maybe, just maybe, he could have the relative he never had.

Yes, that would be nice.

...

Tagging some lovely people: @celias @tsccreatorsnet @atla-lok143 @hitheresomeoneusingthus @rinadragomir @youngreckless @aceofjesper @autumnangel20 @julemmaes @cupcakesandkittens @no-scones-allowed @fictionally-fantastic @stxr-thxif @forjordelia @itsdaughterofthemoon

If you want to be tagged in future fics, notify me! If you asked to be tagged and I didn’t tag you in this post, please remind me (my brain cells are gone at this point)

#kit herondale #kieran kingson #tsc #tda fanfiction #tsc fanfiction #kit and kieran #the dark artifies #idk what else to tag this asss

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foryoumyheroes · 4 years

Text

Stan Twitter

[Midoriya + Todoroki + Bakugou + Kaminari] and their secret stan accounts.

A/N: Gender neutral reader and [H/N] stands for [Hero Name]. Aged-up AU and everyone is already a Pro-Hero. Kinda SMAU?

Disclaimer: I recently became aware that the word “simp” has been appropriated from AAVE. As someone who is not from the black community, I genuinely apologize and I don’t have an excuse for my ignorance. I am removing it from these hcs! I consider myself an ally (but I clearly have a lot of work to do) and it is my own fault for not educating myself, which I hope to do more of in the future.

I also have to give credit where credit’s due I love @myherowritings ‘s SMAUs and was inspired to write this from their works so please check them out if you’re reading this!

Izuku Midoriya:

Goes the whole mile. Has a [Name] stan account with 10k followers. Interacts with other [H/N] stans regularly. Retweets edits and compilations. Makes his own fancams and edits.

Vote [H/N] for the top ten @[H/N]might345 I am so lucky to be able to get the entire @official[Hero Name] x @Super_Groupies collaboration collection!! It sold out within minutes! 💨💨 It was kinda stressful haha. 😅 Thanks again to everyone who supported our favorite Hero! http://bit.ly/G4peUrTd36A

Vote [H/N] for the top ten @[H/N]might345 Thank you to tik tok user @rainbowinureye for giving me permission to post their playdate edit of [H/N]! It’s so well done and the cuts and the scenes line up perfectly 😊 http://m.tiktok.com/WrqKOXWpYbU

Vote [H/N] for the top ten @[H/N]might345 I made another [H/N] edit to the song “This is Love” by Illene Woods slowed and pitched version 😊💕💕 Please tell me what you think and how I can improve! http://bit.ly/dK9-c7QOcWg

Of course it’s edited perfectly with all of the clips synced up perfectly?? It’s a byproduct from his All Might days. He’s still sure to respond to every person who gives him constructive criticism on how to improve his edits.

Unintentionally becomes a meme?? Becomes known as the fanboy to end all fanboys. Like this guy is EVERYWHERE. He’s in the comments of every [H/N] funny moments and [H/N] battles but every fight is poorly edited to the sound of vines and every official interview posted by official YT channels.

Stream Fine Line @randomaccount360 The wildest thing about Twitter is that one [H/N] stan account that comes running whenever you mention their name.

Vote [H/N] for the top ten @[H/N]might345 replying to @randomaccount360 hahaha! I am here! 😁

High-key people think that he’s one of those stalkerish fans?? Like he’ll post pictures of you eating at super close angles that no other news site has and it isn’t like a pic a fan has asked for either... it’s like a candid photo of you shoveling back food

But you guys are legitimately dating?? He lives with you?? It’s just so embarrassing to know that he runs this popular stan account of you that you rarely bring it up asdfg ;; You ;; politely look away.

Vote [H/N] for the top ten @[H/N]might345 Isn’t @official[Hero Name] the cutest? Here’s them eating the souffle pancakes at Flipper's! It was super good! http://bit.ly/fQE__7riZko

Mashomallow @mashomallowfood replying to @[H/N]might345 OP how do you know what the pancakes taste like

Pinky step on me @Minastannn replying to @mashomallowfood OP pls respond it’s a legit question

thehighground @ayeyeye replying to @[H/N]might345 @official[Hero Name] if you are in danger please wink twice

OHH if you get hate?? He will respectfully put that person in their place in the most eloquent way possible. Five pages, doubled-spaced, MLA format, works cited page.

[H/N] > Deku >:( @[H/N]might345 It has recently come to my attention that people online have been saying that Deku is a better hero than [H/N] and I am here to say that is not the case. Not only is pitting two heroes against each other extremely toxic but [H/N] has shown time and time again that they are the more successful Hero. [1/24]

Show this thread

He exposes himself by being tagged in those “Get to know them better” trends and it wasn’t like he was ever hiding the fact that he ran the stan account so he has no problem doing it. He’s so casual with posting a selfie of himself and saying his name and likes and dislikes but the people who tagged him just thought that he was just a regular fan?? Not Pro-Hero Deku??

#WTFDeku is trending for a whole day in Japan.

It answers a lot of questions but opens up more.

Everyone legit thought that @[H/N]might345 was just a rich kid with a lot of free time this whole time. But no?? It was Number One Hero Deku?? Does he make the edits when he’s fighting villains or something asdfg

It makes him so happy though!! You guys would be chilling and his phone dings from notifications and he’s turning to you so happily like, “Look, [Name]! Another popular fan account retweeted my compilation of you! I can’t believe they noticed me!” Asdf i love this boy.

Shoto Todoroki:

LOOK even before you two debuted as Pro-Heroes he was your number one stan buying all the merch, watching all of the interviews.

Interacts with other fans occasionally. 5K followers. Verified by Twitter for some reason. Has a generic name like @[Name]snumberone and thinks that it’s polite to always end his posts with a simple :)

He’s told you about his side account before, but you know that he has one dedicated to Endeavor hate, so you always think that he’s referring to that one.

Horny on main for some reason?? People think that he’s socially inept and doesn’t really understand a lot of jargon or slang, but thanks to Kaminari and all of the other stans he’s studied up because he thinks that’s how you’re supposed to talk on the internet.

Like someone will post a pic of you holding something between your thighs like a water bottle or your phone or wallet while you tie your hair up or sign something for a fan and he’ll be like “goD i wish that was me.”

it’s photosynthesUS @queenking[H/N] Can you believe that there are people out there that don’t think about [H/N]’s thighs at least once a day?? coughcough anyWAY on an unrelated topic here’s several pictures of those beautiful legs http://bit.ly/pH6KeOjpKeI

[H/N]’s biggest fan @[Name]snumberone replying to @queenking[H/N] I can die happy if those legs suffocated me

[H/n]’s biggest fan @[Name]snumberone Another fan messaged me saying that they liked my account :) thank you. I love [H/N] more than anything.

[H/N]’s biggest fan @[Name]snumberone Someone messaged me this from a site called Archive of Our Own? They said since I like [H/N] so much I would like this. It’s pretty enjoyable :) although kind of OOC? (is that right?)

[H/N]’s biggest fan @[Name]snumberone I thought I would try my own hand at [H/N] fanfiction since it was so fun to read I binged the entire tag last night :) But please be warned that it’s not for underage readers.

Would try to fight the haters in the most passive-aggressive and aggressive-aggressive way possible. He had no problem with trying to square up against the chief of police and he’s incredibly stubborn. He immediately responds to their post and tries to shut it down as quick as possible and sometimes it’s ;; kinda hurtful

One time a hater account was spreading negative things about you and after Shoto came on the scene they quickly ended their thread with a “Of course [H/N]’s white knight came to save the day again 🙄🙄”

Within the next hour he changed his bio to “[H/N]’s white knight”

Doesn’t get that trend where after someone posts something thirsty about someone else another user will reply by thanking them for something random?

[H/N]’s biggest fan @[Name]snumberone Has anyone seen [H/N]’s arms after their most recent fight with a villain? They can break my back like a glowstick :) and stick their tongue down my throat ig

Stradandelous @pikadeegeek replying to @[Name]snumberone Thank you for paying for my anger management classes :))))

[H/N]’s biggest fan @[Name]snumberone replying to @pikadeegeek Oh, do you have me confused for someone else? I know that @realbakusatsuou needs anger management lessons

He gets exposed after someone posts a picture of you and him smiling at each other cutely and someone responds with “🥺🥺 get someone who looks at you the way Shoto looks at [Name] and soba. It must be nice to kiss one of the cutest Heroes of the century”

[H/N]’s biggest fan @[Name]snumberone replying to @bossbiccc Thank you but soba will always be number two to [Name] :) and it was nice.

Everyone then collectively LoSeS their minds and connects the dots like hUH?? You included!! You aren’t spared from this shit!! You spend your whole day with your jaw dropped to the goddamned grOUND as you scroll through his side account. Did he try all of that before or AFTER writing his fanfiction??

Endeavor gets news of it and learns just how horny his youngest son is and nearly goes into cardiac arrest.

He just slurps his soba when everyone under the sun confronts him about it and he’s just like “what about it?”

Katsuki Bakugou:

About 600 followers. Doesn’t interact with anyone other than retweeting posts and liking them. Rarely comments. Never answers DM’s. Only follows one person and that’s @official[Hero Name].

You don’t know about it. No one knows about it. If he had it his way, no one will ever know about it.

Occasionally he posts, but it’s mostly him flaunting the fact that he got limited edition or super expensive [H/N] merch that gets sold out in seconds and he’s super fucking smug.

my hero [Name] @[H/N][Name] check out my limited edition [H/N] figurine. their costume is covered in real strakowski crystals. they did a good job with the face too.

Whatcanisayyyy his parents are designers. He has a taste for the finer things in life.

He’s not much of a texter in general? So he doesn’t go off on lengthy arguments with people who post hate like the other two. Surprisingly mature when he does this. He reports or blocks them, but he’s always proud to know that these lowlife people can’t bring up a good argument because he always finds holes in their points. (They also don’t have the whole story. Which is? He loves you.)

NEVER retweets or likes content that involves you and another Hero being shipped together. Purely Ground Zero x [Hero Name] only. Who gives a damn that Creati x [Hero Name] got the most votes from the Official [H/N] Fan Club?? Bakugou ,,, does not see it.

Kinda boring really ;; he only has that many followers because he only retweets the BEST [Name] content and he’s fucking proud of it.

He gets exposed when you and he get dragged to a club with Bakusquad one day. You’re on the dance floor with Mina and Sero and he’s just reclining in the booth retweeting paparazzi pictures of you that night and Kaminari manages to sneak up behind him and takes a picture of him without him noticing. People ofc zoom into his phone screen and find out that hE FUCKING HAS A WHOLE STAN ACCOUNT DEDICATED TO YOU?? When y’all are dating?! He’s retweeting photos of you in your outfit that night when he was right there?? He sometimes uncharacteristically comments 🥺 or 😍 or “my love”???

The goddamned UWUs that are passed around that night!!

The unsuppressed anger 😨😨

Pikachu’s long lost son @NOTjammingway @realbakusatsuou YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!! IT WAS SAID THAT YOU WOULD DESTROY THEM NOT JOIN THEM!!

Red Riot @theofficialredriot replying to @NOTjammingway The PLOT TWIST OF THE CENTURY! NOT EVEN THE SHARINGAN COULD’VE PREDICTED THIS

Cellophane @Serophanetape replying to @theofficialredriot No wonder he’s changed since our school days... 😔😔 as his bros we should’ve seen it... the good in him...the c o n f l i c t

Pro Hero Ground Zero @realbakusatsuou replying to @NOTjammingway Shut. The fuck. UP!!!

Pikachu’s long lost son @NOTjammingway ASDFGHJKLHELPMEEEEE http://bit.ly/DVtNve4qySA

Show this thread

woah pass that @hellofolksclapclap Transcription of @NOTjammingway’s post that was taken from his IG live for anyone that needs it 😊

[Chargebolt]: [to Red Riot] and anyway, I there I was barbecue sauce— [two knocks appear on his door]. Huh? [Red Riot]: [walking to the door] were you expecting anyone? [Chargebolt]: No—? [Door slams open loudly. It falls to the ground off its hinges.] [AHHHHASDGHSPE?] [T/N: how did he manage to keysmash in real life?] Bakugouuuu! [Screams impressively high pitched.] [Ground Zero]: I’m going to fucking kill you! [Red Riot]: Bakugou, no! Stop! What would [Name] think?! [Ground Zero]: [Name] can’t fucking look at me without laughing anymore! [A whole bunch of voices interlap and more screaming ensues.] [A faint ‘wheee’ is heard.] [END.]

Eventually he just fucking owns it and is like yEAH!! I HAVE A [NAME] STAN ACCOUNT WHAT OF IT??

hero for all @official[Hero Name] Love you too, @[H/N][Name] <3 <3

Pro Hero Ground Zero @realbakusatsuou replying to @official[Hero Name] ...You’re lucky I didn’t deactivate the whole fucking account.

He still retweets things to this day, but now he’s getting more bold.

Denki Kaminari:

Unlike the others his official twitter IS his [Name] stan page.

He’s going back and forth from posting about his battles, his promotional content, and then splits them all with retweets that are like “I’ve NEVER wanted to hold a hand so bad before in my life. I SWEAR!”

IMAGINE if he did have a stan account though. He would be going back and forth between his official and stan account and like fake beefing with each other.

Pikachu’s long lost son @NOTjammingway [Name] just defeated 28 villains today!!! FUCK👏ING👏TWENTY EIGHT👏 The talent in this household... the sexiness... 😳😳

i sent you my love pls respond @[H/N]steponme replying to @NOTjammingway Dude I’m going to steal your lover

Pikachu’s long lost son @NOTjammingway replying to @[H/N]steponme You wouldn’t dare 😤 😤😡

i sent you my love pls respond @[H/N]steponme replying to @NOTjammingway If that’s your lover why are they buying MY animal crossing turnips?

Pikachu’s long lost son @NOTjammingway replying to @[H/N]steponme @official[Hero Name]... say it isn’t so...

hero for all @official[Hero Name] replying to @NOTjammingway What the FUCK is going on

Pikachu’s long lost son @NOTjammingway Replying to @[H/N]steponme They’re in your acnh island but they’re replying to MY tweets we are not the same

Since he’s a Pro-Hero and therefore a public figure, sometimes he gets flagged by karens on the internet for saying stuff like “pls sit on my face [Name]” on his official twitter and he always replies to comments that are like “Think about the children!” with “This AINT about them!!”

If his S/O is getting hate he’ll reply to them such as

dog mom coffee lover @lilyjargon920 I’m sorry I can’t help it, [H/N] is so ugly ESPECIALLY after a fight

Pikachu’s long lost son @NOTjammingway replying to @lilyjargon920 That’s a strange way to say that you’ve never gotten anyone hot and bothered

Flip-flops between being super horny and “Can i hold your hand ;;; PLEASE”

Whenever he takes mirror selfies in his bedroom his bed is like ;; half [H/N] plushies

Because he’s not hiding anything he’s able to interact with your page freely and most of the time his retweets get more likes than your tweet because he’s just randomly thirsty without it having anything to do with your og tweet.

He tries tik tok trends on you and reposts it on his twitter as well. He tried the “getting naked in front of partner” challenge while you were in the middle of working at your desk at home and you just looked at him like “Put some clothes on HOE” while laughing and getting back to work.

He posts Boyfriend ASMR POVs but most of them are like self-indulgent fanfiction and he’s talking to “[Name]” instead of making it open to everyone.

Everyone in Class 1-A clowns him so hard for this.

Present Mic plays one of them during his radio one day as a request from a listener and he had to leave the room but since he’s so loud his laughter was basically the only thing people hear.

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maythefandomsbwithu · 4 years

Text

Tattoo artist/ florist au part (1) 2

Sumarry: As it turns out, both Jaskier and Geralt have some very perceptive women in their lives. Jaskier vents about his crush to Ciri while Yennefer tries to pry something out of Geralt about his.

As it turns out Ciri was extremely perceptive and knew something was up the minute she walked back into the shop. Jaskier was standing in the middle of the floor leaning on his brush with that lovestruck look on his face that she’d seen a million times before.

“Who do you have a crush on now?” She demanded, rolling her eyes as the brush slipped from its position and he almost fell.

“What? Me? A crush? Pffft, don’t be ridiculous Ciri, I’m too old for crushes.” He babbled in his defence. Damn her, smart little shit. He needed to get off this topic before she could weasel the truth out of him. She had a knack for reading him like a book, just like her mother. “Anyway, where’s my coffee, I’m thirsty.”

“Yeah you are thirsty.” Ciri snorted at the affronted sound her uncle made as he snatched the iced coffee form her and took a gulp. “It’s the hot tattoo guy from next door, isn’t it?” She asked, innocently sipping on her frappuccino.

Jaskier promptly spat his coffee all over himself, all over the floor, and almost all over Ciri, if she hadn’t tactically stepped back before she said anything. “What? Hot...Tattoo…Don’t be…CIRILLA CINTRA!” He spluttered. He knew by the smirk on her face that he wasn’t fooling her for a second. “How do you even know about him? I only just met him! And what do you mean hot? He’s waaaay too old for you!” He fussed about trying to find something to clean himself with as Ciri just laughed at him. Little brat.

Ciri was in stitches. Jaskier was so easy to wind up. “I saw him walk out of the shop, like, two seconds ago, genius. And I’ve seen him around, he does work next door you know.” She sassed him. Of course she’d seen him, the guy wasn’t exactly hard to miss. “And as for him being hot, I’m seventeen not fucking blind. And I meant that you thought he was hot, judging by that dumb, lovestruck look on your face.”

“I did not have a dumb, lovestruck look on my face.” Jaskier huffed, crossing his arms like a child. He almost felt betrayed that Ciri hadn’t told him about the new neighbours if she supposedly knew so much about them. Especially when their new neighbour was so hot… Fuck! He could see Ciri giving him a sceptical look. He stuck his tongue out at her. “I didn’t. I was just… thinking.”

Ciri snorted, “Yeah, thinking about how hot he is. You’re not fooling anyone, uncle Jaskier, least of all me.” She rolled her eyes once more for good measure and went to find a mop to clean up the spilled coffee. When she came back Jaskier was dabbing at himself with a tissue absently, with that dreamy look in his eye again. She gave an extremely put-on long-suffering sigh. “Okay, tell me about him.” She demanded.

His eyes snapped up in surprise. “What?” he squawked. “What do you mean tell you about him?”

If Ciri rolled her eyes any harder she’d flip the world upside down. “I mean you need to vent and I’m volunteering to listen to your lovesick ramblings.” She finished cleaning up the coffee and hopped up on the counter. She shuffled to get comfy. “Okay, now go.”

His mouth flapped open and closed like a fish before he gave in. This is what they did. If either of them found a new interest or had a bad day or, in this case, had a crush, one would listen while the other vented. He trusted that although she may ridicule him, she would take his secrets to the grave. And he hers. His thoughts drifted back to Geralt. He hardly knew the man but he was intrigued. He wanted to know more. He wanted to know the person behind the frankly gorgeous exterior. “Where to begin?” He sighed.

“Maybe with his name?” Ciri suggested cheekily, earning a pointed look form her uncle which she returned with a more mocking air to it.

“Geralt Rivia.” The first time the name passed his lips it was like opening the flood gates for a multitude of romantic fantasies. It was like he was an enamoured tween, scribbling Geralt’s name with his in a secret note book over and over with pink sparkly gel pen that smelled like strawberries surrounding it with love hearts and flowers. He didn’t even realise how caught up in his thoughts he’d become until Ciri cleared her throat.

Oh gods, her uncle had it bad. He’d only met the guy once but he couldn’t even say his name without drifting off to Lalaland. She tried hard not to scoff at him, she was the one who you would expect to sigh dreamily over boys, not him. “So, he has a name. Cool. And?” She made a sort of ‘get on with it’ type gesture.

Jaskier made an affronted noise. “And? And! Have you seen him Ciri? He’s magnificent. He looks like some kind of lesser known deity, and I would happily bow down and worship him.” Now he was getting started, he couldn’t stop the stream of Geralt’s praise that flowed form his lips. “Don’t get me started about his hair! I bet when its down its soft and flowy and frames his face perfectly. I could sit and play with it for hours. I know he’s not my usual type but come on! He’s got a kind of rugged charm about him, with his tattoos and his muscles and his jawline, ugh I could cut myself just looking at that jawline. And he’s, how the kids say, thicc.”

“Uncle Jaskier!” Ciri exclaimed through her giggles. Old people trying to be cool were hilarious. “I knew I’d regret teaching you modern slang.”

“Hey, I’m cool! I can be down with the kids.” Jaskier grinned at her. “With your meemees and your snappy chats.”

“They’re called memes Jaskier! And you know that!” Ciri countered, still laughing. After they’d both recomposed themselves after their fit of giggles Ciri leaned back on her hands and grinned at her uncle. “Are you done with your ode to Geralt yet or do you have more to add?”

“I’m sure there’s more I can say. Where was I? Ah, him being thicc.” This caused another round of giggles between them. “Seriously though Ciri, he has no business being that handsome.”

Ciri rolled her eyes again, seriously that girl is going to get eye strain, like damn! “Okay, he’s handsome, I get it.” There was only so much she could listen to. “So why was he even here?”

“Alas my knight in ripped jeans didn’t come to sweep me off my feet, if that’s what you mean. He came for inspiration for a tattoo.” Jaskier sighed, wishing he had been the reason for Geralt’s visit. However, this made him remember something that gave him back some of his enthusiasm. “But he’s coming back my dear Ciri! Perhaps it was fate that we had no sunflowers left because he’s coming back on Monday when we restock!”

“Oh joy!” Ciri imitated sarcastically, over-exaggerating the way she bounced in excitement as he had. “Maybe this time you can profess your undying love and ride off into the sunset.” She teased.

Jaskier pouted dramatically and crossed his arms. “Ha-ha Ciri, you’re so funny. I’ll have you know I already have a plan.”

“Really, let me guess.” she scoffed, “You’re going to take him on a moon-lit picnic and braid flowers into his hair. You’ll serenade him as you walk down the beach before dropping to one knee and professing your undying love for him and begging him to elope with you. You’ll be happy in a hidden cottage in the woods while you grow your own vegetables and talk to the forest animals. And even though its hard work and the nights are cold, you won’t care because you’ll have him to keep you safe and warm.” She paused her mocking rant to glance at Jaskier’s reaction. He had his hands on his hips and a was gaping at her. She laughed. “Too much?”

He rolled his eyes. “No, those were all lovely ideas for me to file away for later.” He snarked back at her. “My plan is to be myself and get to know him.”

Ciri’s gaze softened. “Okay, that sounds like a good start.” She smiled. “Just…if find that you really like him… don’t let your pining get out of hand, okay?”

Jaskier’s heart clenched. “Okay. No being a pining mess this time.” He was glad she was trying to look after him. He had been reckless with his heart in the past, too fast to fall in love and too fast to have his love thrown back in his face.

“Sooo...” Ciri broke the moment of silence between them. “Shall we close the shop and get home for Saturday night movie night?”

~~~

Geralt couldn’t help it as the corners of his mouth twitched upward as he left the flower shop at the thought of the chipper man he left behind. He took a short stroll around the block, familiarising himself with his surroundings. Although, throughout his walk his mind kept wandering to Jaskier. It was strange. Geralt was a large man, tall and muscular, covered in tattoos and piercings, wrapped in black leather. Now that was enough for some people to stay well clear of him, those with more… conservative, values. And with a glare that could kill at close range and a general ‘don’t fuck with me’ aura Geralt found he intimidated most people he met. But...this adorable man had grinned and joked like he hadn’t been the slightest bit fazed by any of it. He found it baffling, and a little attractive to be honest.

Before long he ended up back at his shop to find Yennefer waiting for him. She was perched on one of the sofas in the waiting area, flicking through her phone, probably updating the shop’s Instagram with new photos of his work. She barely more than looked up at him.

“Enjoy your little walk dear?” she asked nonchalantly, still scrolling through her phone. She only received a grunt in response but Yennefer had known Geralt long enough to understand his language of grunts and hmm’s. She lowered her phone as he sat down beside him. “Did you find any pretty flowers?” she said knowingly.

Geralt’s eyes snapped to meet hers as he schooled his face to appear unconcerned. How did she know? Could she really read him that well? “I don’t know what you mean Yen.” He stated gruffly, pulling his phone out of his pocket so the look in his eyes didn’t give him away even further.

Yennefer huffed out a laugh. “Don’t play dumb with me Geralt. I wondered how long it would take you to notice the boy next door.” She was met with only the sound of Geralt’s fingers tapping at his phone. “He’s cute, I suppose. In a delicate, flower-y kind of way.” She continued, “Not your usual type though.”

Geralt realised then he wasn’t going to escape this conversation. Yen could be annoyingly persistent and it was easier to give in now than waste energy trying to avoid the inevitable. “What would you know about my taste in men Yen? I haven’t had a boyfriend since …before us.” The truth was Jaskier was exactly his type; lithe body and a pretty face, with a charming grin and soft eyes that held just a glint of mischief.

“That’s an exaggeration and you know it, what about… you know… what’s his name? In the band?” Yennefer offered. She knew he was right… in a way. While Yennefer knew his taste in women very well, herself having been one of the women who he’d been drawn to once upon a time however, in the time she’d know him, he had had much more luck with women than men. But that wasn’t to say there’d been no men in his life.

“Doesn’t count. Sleeping with him hardly makes him my boyfriend. He was a narcissistic prick anyway.” Geralt grumbled. That man was definitely not his type, he couldn’t even remember his name, nor did he care to.

“Oh, so now you’re a romantic?” She scoffed. “But you must have found him at least somewhat attractive to sleep with him, right?” She raised an eyebrow. She knew Geralt. He didn’t go around sleeping with people for the sake of it.

“Objectively.” He grunted in response, folding his arms across his chest.

“Objectively, of course.” She parroted back at him. “So, do you find Julian attractive, more than just objectively?” She wore at cat-like grin as she watched Geralt’s reaction intently.

“Have you been stalking me?” he asked suspiciously. His eyes widened. “Have you been stalking him? Yen you can’t just do that, that’s really creepy.”

Yennefer rolled her eyes. “I haven’t been stalking either of you, you dolt!” she smacked him upside the head. “I found his name on the website for the flower shop, which I glanced at out of curiosity. And I knew you’d like him the minute I saw him but I didn’t say anything because if you thought I was trying to set you up you’d decide what he was like in your head before you met him.” She put her hands on her hips and gave him a look that dared him to deny it.

He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. Damn her for being right. “Whatever.” He grunted, not meeting her gaze. He knew she would only encourage him to pursue this. He wanted to, but he was afraid. Afraid of having his heart broken again. Of Jaskier becoming just another her. It would be better to nip this in the bud.

“That’s not an answer Geralt.” She pressed, her stare never wavering.

“Ugh!” He groaned, pulling his hair down from its bun so he could rake his hands through it. “Fine. He’s …alright, I guess. Whatever.” He told himself he was only saying it to satisfy her, to get her to drop it. He was lying to himself. Jaskier was gorgeous, but Yen didn’t need to know that or she’d never let him let it go like he should.

Yennefer grinned triumphantly. She knew Geralt better than anyone, he was smitten, she could tell. “See, that wasn’t so hard.” She teased. “Now you’ve actually admitted it, why don’t you do something about it?”

“Yennefer.” He growled in warning. “You know why.” She of all people should know exactly why he was guarding his heart so fiercely. She had been there as he tried to gather up the shattered pieces of his heart and stick them back together. But after something breaks once, it will never be as strong again. There will always be a weak spot, somewhere, no matter how small or hidden it is. Geralt’s heart was no exception. She had been his everything, once. He’d given her everything he had to give but it wasn’t enough. It was never enough. He’d given her his heart and she’d chewed it up and spat it back out at his feet. After months of wallowing in self-pity, he’d finally managed to heal some. Geralt was terrified that he’d have to start the process all over again.

Yennefer’s expression softened as she stepped forward to rest hand on his shoulder. “Geralt. Look at me.” She coaxed his chin up to look him in the eye. “She is gone. That toxic bitch is not in your life anymore. But if you let what she did define who you are now, if you let her stop you living your own life, then you’ll never truly be free from her. And she wins. You need to forget her. I know you’ve been trying; I know it’s hard and you’re not the best at emotions. But if you like him, don’t let anyone hold you back, especially not her.” She felt him tug her into his arms and she went willingly, stroking his hair as he embraced her.

“I’m meeting him again on Monday.” He murmured into her hair. He let out one last deep sigh before releasing her and stepping back. “They’re getting more sunflowers in; they were sold out today. For that floral piece I’m designing.” He was still trying to convince himself that was the only reason.

Yennefer smiled. “Whatever excuse you have to tell yourself dear.” She teased, moving to grab her stuff.

“It’s the truth Yen. Jaskier suggested it not me.” Damn her for being able to see through his bullshit.

Her grin widened. “Jaskier? My, my Geralt, how forward, nicknames and a pre-work rendezvous, I expect you’ll be late on Monday then?” She cackled when he threw a magazine at her off the table. “You can tell me all about it after. See you Monday.” She called, walking out the door before he could protest.

Geralt stood a moment longer before locking the door behind her. He put the shutter down and headed upstairs to his apartment to be alone with his thoughts, which kept returning to an image of sparkling blue eyes and a charming smile. Fuck.

Taglist: @andyet-here-we-are @dandelionslute

@welcometothecolemine @wildlyannoyingdoofus

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adelcrait-old-account · 4 years

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Lost and Found— Chapter 15: The Boss

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24522103/chapters/64196512

After discovering a security breach, Vader sends Luke and Piett undercover to a bar frequented by criminals, hoping to run into the woman that is planning to defeat the Empire.

Meme spoilers and a rant under the cut:

Hello!

This chapter was a long time coming thing. I wanted to change the scenario and get them all to an actual planet with real air. Luke’s been up in space for weeks, but Piett must have been there for a few months, if not a year. I’m sending him on a vacation, he deserves it.

July me also thought it was the funniest idea to write Piett, unmasked Vader and Luke in a bar talking about Vader. Luke would introduce unmasked Vader as “his mortal enemy”, and Piett would believe it. I also find it incredibly amusing (to me) that Vader refuses to act as another person because: a) *dramatic spotlight* He is Darth Vader, a Dark Lord of the Sith, Supreme Commander of the Imperial Fleet, current temporary Emperor, Leader of the Imperial Security Bureau, Leader of the not-so-secret Investigation against the Galactical Insurrection....He will not do something as foolish as acting. Do you even know who he is? He is Darth Vader, a Dark Lord of the Sith- b) He refuses to act as Agent Broly because he just doesn’t care. In the end he did reveal his identity to Piett, and he knew it was a risk coming there unmasked, but there is trust between them, and so Vader doesn’t see the point of acting as this Agent Broly.

For some reason when I first started writing Agent Broly I imagined a tall surfer himbo of some sort. Do with this information whatever you want.

1. The Boss

Now onto the star of the night, Anak- sorry. *coughs* the spotlight please? Thank you. nOW ONTO THE STAR OF THE CHAPTER: Darth Vader, a Dark Lord of the Sith, Supreme Commander of the Imperial Fleet, current temporary Emperor, Leader of the Imperial Security Bureau, Leader of the not-so-secret Investigation against the Galactical Insurrection... My mans a bit out of character, but hey! This is an Alternate Universe where Vader when stressed acts like clone wars Anakin because there is enough love in my heart for all versions of this character.

The real boss of the chapter is Miss Celissa Vanis, finally making an appearance after Chapter 6, when Luke and Vader just found her in the Coruscant rebel base. Remember those times? Feels like ages ago. Where has she been? What is she doing? Does anyone know what she’s doing? Do I know what she’s doing? What is her Modus Operandi? Does she have one?

Listen.......She’s out there getting stuff done. It took her less than six months to scare The Darth Vader, kidnap Palpatine and Mothma and start a very organised clandestine riot. SHE’S GETTING SHIT DONE.

I really like her. She is the antagonist of the story, yes, but hey! She’s charming and makes some very good points even if the execution of her ideas is....well, bad. People are dying. But she makes sense, even if I, as a person that is also reading the story and has opinions, disagree with her.

Celissa had a dramatic entrance, and she also got a dramatic exit. It has taken me over 70,000 words, but I finally decided to include something about...you know. That guy.

Celissa stared at the ship. Her people looked at her for guidance, but she didn't have any. She was already planning to get rid of Darth Vader's new Sith apprentice. "You! Pick up the blasters and let's go. The Emperor has some questions to answer."

Palpatine, answering questions? Celissa, teach me your ways.

2. ‘The Skywalkers: I am The Last Skywalker Left, both Skywalkers say’ A STAR WARS STORY

These two... I know they’re related, you know they’re related, everyone knows they’re related, and I know that they will know that they’re related (I’m not telling you the How yet ;D) but...they share one brain cell, and in this chapter Luke has it. Which is understandable, because Vader is out of his comfort zone and has a lot on his plate. He probably hasn’t been to a space!bar since that time Hondo kidnapped Obi-Wan and him...about twenty-five years ago.

Luke, on the other hand, spent most of his life on Tatooine. He probably befriended ‘cool looking people’ in Mos Eisley when he was five and his Uncle had to drag him away because those people were dangerous. Luke in a bar filled with dangerous people is like a fish in the sea. But I think that the fact that Luke and Vader are related by blood will just be a major Plus when the truth is revealed, because I already see that they’re vibing as friends. Hell, they even argue like children through the Force because Vader’s being snarky (because he’s out of his comfort zone) and Luke is just not letting him get away with things Vader usually did.

Hey, and I love them for that.

3. ‘The not-a Commander, Someone Help Him’

I would quote Rickey Thompson’s you are my ride or die video, but I want you to watch it. This is me talking about Luke in this fic. The Commander, Ben Starkiller. As I said before, Luke is more comfortable in the ground with the normal people because he spent most of his life on Tatooine with his Aunt and Uncle, moisture farmers. He understands people, he understands crime, he has seen people being wrongly accused of crimes they did not commit. So when Darth Vader starts talking about criminals, Luke steps in. He said this in Chapter 3, and his position still stands. He might not officially be a rebel anymore, but his morality hasn’t shifted:

Vader continued staring at him. “Why did you join [The Rebellion] ?” Luke clenched his jaw. “The Empire is a rotten, corrupt fascist state that supports slavery and massive genocide,” he said calmly with a shrug, “I have witnessed enough to see that something must be done against it.” “That is all theory, Commander. I am asking what caused you personally to be against it.” “I won't watch how innocent people are killed because the Emperor threw a tantrum.” Vader wanted to say that his Master never lost his composure: out of both of them he was the most likely to throw tantrums. Sidious was more strategic in his murders. “The Empire took the life of someone you knew.” Luke clenched his jaw. “A great deal of many people, sir. This is a war.” He would never reveal what the Empire did to his aunt and uncle, he wouldn't give Vader that pleasure. "No one cares about murders on Tatooine."

4. Hondo Ohnaka, Forever Young

I loved him in the Clone Wars and in Rebels. This is the man that when confronted by Darth Maul and Savage Opress, said the following:

Darth Maul: "Filth, you will pay for your insolence." Hondo Ohnaka: "Insolence! We are pirates! We don't even know what that means. Open fire!"

I can only imagine the kind of stories there are about this man in the galaxy, and Luke has heard them all, so when he heard that Hondo said Vader tried to kill him, I just imagined this:

Imagine sending this without context to someone that hasn’t read my fic but knows the star wars lore....I would be very confused. It could also be an AU where Hondo finds baby!Luke and raises him as a pirate, and then Vader comes for his child and finds Luke Ohnaka speaking fluent pirate slang with the man that raised him.

In case you didn’t know, Hondo kidnapped Anakin and Obi-Wan for ‘business’ in the clone wars TV show. After that, Anakin was too distracted with the war to go find Hondo again, so they left on neutral-to-bad terms. On the long list of people that Vader wouldn’t want to see him unmasked, Hondo is at the bottom, because Vader doesn’t even remember he exists. Imagine you’re Vader (I know, I know), you’re approximately forty-five years old, drowning in work, undercover in a mission, arguing with this boy who is accusing you of being “impossible”, and then he goes very quiet and says “That’s Hondo Ohnaka.” The name is oddly familiar, and you turn around and you see him. That dude that kidnapped you when you were only twenty years old. This was over 25 YEARS AGO, surely he won’t remember you, right?

Right?

5. Captain Kathmir, who?

Captain to Darth Vader at the start of the Empire, led the 501st to battles, a very well known figure in the Imperial Fleet...so why doesn’t Vader want to talk about her?

Piett spoke. "Yes, precisely. [...] Everyone knows what happened to Captain Kathmir."

The Force stopped ticking.

Luke frowned. "Who?"

"Nobody," said Vader urgently, "Drop the topic, now."

She disappeared after failing him. What happened?

The Force became cold, and Luke shivered when Vader spoke. "The story is a lie built on childish rumours." he spat quietly.

In case that you’re thinking Vader might have had something with this Captain, the answer is No. In my humble opinion, in canon, I don’t see Vader having anything with anyone that wasn’t Padmé, and this extends to all my fics. There are enough headcanons for everyone.

And to conclude, a wholesome one:

Thank you for sticking with my nocturnal ramblings about this story! I’m posting another chapter in a few days, where they will do Force magic in the snow.

#lost and found #My posts #my fics

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kiarcheo · 3 years

Text

It’s All Coming Back to Me Now 4/?

To read on Ao3 click here

You can read the previous parts on Tumblr click here

-------------------------------------

By the time Anne announces she is ready to present a first version of her song, everyone is quite curious to see what she cooked up.

‘I thought about what Anna and Kat said last time. About making it modern…and have everyone involved.’ Anne explains as Kat once again sets up her laptop. ‘So Kat is doing the chorus, which would be your parts.’

Grew up in the French Court Oui, oui, bonjour

Laughter immediately follow the exaggerated French accent coming from the queen who speak the language as fluently and perfectly as her native one.

All the British dudes, lame

Catalina and Anna share a look as Kat chimes in with ‘epic fail’. They had bonded over being shipped to a foreign country not knowing a single word of English to marry some random dude...They are not going to have problems singing that part like they mean it.

(Ooh) I wanna dance and sing (Politics) Not my thing

Catalina barely restrains a snort. Definitely her thing.

(You sent him kisses) I didn't know I would move in with his missus (What?) Get a life (You're living with his wife?)

Kat is extremely convincing at acting shocked at Anne’s actions and then clearly uncomfortable at the next verse, looking down at her feet.

(Ooh) Don't be bitter (Ooh) 'cause I'm fitter (Ooh) Why hasn't it hit her? He doesn't want to bang you Somebody hang you

‘Do you really have to use that language?’ Jane asks after they have all complimented Anne for her song.

‘What? Bitch?’ It’s quite clear to everyone that Anne is trying to rile Jane up. ‘If Catalina can say shit, why can’t I say bitch?’

Both Catalina and Anna nod at Anne’s words. Jane sends her a not-impressed look. She knows she is now repeating that word on purpose now, just to annoy her.

‘They don’t actually say it. Neither of them.’ Kat points out, raising her eye for the first time since half-way through the song, but still avoiding looking at Catalina.

'Moving on,’ Jane concedes, ‘while I technically understand all the words, there are some parts I don’t really...what xo means?’ Unlike Anne, Anna and Kat, Jane had not immediately taken to modern pop culture. At the moment she is trying to understand memes, much to the others’ amusement. They even have a group chat just devoted to sending her memes and gifs to see what she thinks they are and then explaining them. Most of the time Jane regrets having joined the chat and she would just abandon it if she didn’t know that they would add her back in immediately…and also that it’s all good-natured teasing.

‘Hugs and Kisses. Like, if you text someone and you sign off with xo it stands for that. X for kisses and O for hugs.’

'Aaah-’ Jane nods. That makes sense. That’s why Kat followed that line with ‘you sent him kisses’. ‘What about x-rated? It's kisses related too?’

‘In a way.’ Anne guffaws.

‘When something has a x rating, it’s because it’s very explicit. For adults only.’

The others look mildly amused at her innocence and Cathy’s explanation, but Anna is sure Jane will be uncomfortable once she realises. ‘Sex, Jane.’ She cuts it short.

‘You know what?’ Jane’s face is aflame. ‘If you give me the words, I’m going to look them up for myself.’

‘Can I talk to you for a second?’ Jane stops Kat as the meeting wraps up.

‘Want me to wait for you?’ Catalina asks.

‘If you don’t mind.’ Kat sends her a smile, before turning her attention to Jane.

‘I wanted to ask if you could help me out with my song. You wrote Catalina’s, right?’

‘Well, she wrote the words, I just played around, adjusted some bits and added others, you know, for rhymes and rhythm, and stuff like that.’

‘It’s just that...I know what I want to say, but words have never been my strong suit.’ Jane admits self-consciously. ‘If you could help me with that too. And the music. Obviously. To use Anne’s words. Not my thing.’ Jane smiles self-deprecatingly.

‘I would love to!’ Kat smiles encouragingly. ‘Have you thought about what type of sound are you lookin...’ she trails off seeing the slight panic on her face. ‘Why don’t you just make a list of singers and songs that you like? And that you’d like your song to...well, not be similar, but you know?’

Jane nods. That she gets. They agree on meeting up soon to start working on the lyrics and that meanwhile Jane will send Kat songs to get inspirations for the music part.

‘Everything okay?’ Catalina asks as they fall into step.

Kat hesitates for brief second. She will know anyway once she starts spending a lot of time out of the house with Jane, just like she did while working on Anne’s song. Probably even more. And the others will find out when they present it. Make no sense to keep it secret. ‘She just wanted to ask for my help with her song.’

‘What about you?’ Kat asks after a bit, noticing the expression on Catalina’s face. ‘Are you upset about Anne’s song? I’m really sorry about...well, you know what part.’

‘Did you write it?’

‘No!’

‘Exactly.’ Catalina had noticed how uncomfortable the girl had looked and how she had avoided eye contact with her pretty much up until they had finished the meeting and she had spoken to her directly, asking whether she should wait for her or not. ‘Besides, she says it herself, she didn’t really mean it.’

‘Then what is it?’

‘Are you okay with all the...losing your head jokes?’

‘Not really bothered to be honest.’ Kat shrugs. She had time to get used to Anne joking about it and she can see the appeal. She had mentioned it to Cathy, who said something about using humour to cope with trauma and grief. ‘But I know it’s not that. What’s on your mind?’

Catalina sighs. Sometimes having someone knowing you backfires. And Kat does know her. Perhaps a little too well. ‘I know that she is playing around a lot. The “just want to have fun” vibe. The slang. Playing up the airhead persona. Blatantly lying about the politics thing.’ She shakes her head. Everyone who knows about Anne Boleyn will know that is not true. ‘But that line about her father...’ she trails off. She never really considered the role family politics might have played into the whole affair. She always assumed it had been all Anne.

‘That’s something you should ask her.’ Kat says after a beat. Her loyalty will always be to Catalina, but they are not pitted against each other anymore. She loves Anne as well and won’t betray her confidence. And this is a perfect example of why, at the time, which now feels like ages ago, she had requested not to be asked about the other queens, but for everyone to take it up with the person in question. ‘Just because you’re my mom it doesn’t mean rules don’t apply to you.’ Kat winks at her cheekily in an effort to lighten up the mood. Rationally she knows Catalina won’t be upset and will respect her wish not to talk about it. But she can’t help feeling like she is letting her down, disappointing her.

‘I’m proud of you.’

'Why?’

Because she is still caring and sweet despite everything and everyone? Because she never hesitates to use her talents to help others? Because she knows that the little girl who served her and whose priority was to please her is still very much present in Kat, no matter how many times she tells her that she is her daughter now, not her attendant, but here she is, in a way, standing up to her, to protect Anne’s privacy?

Kat sounds genuinely confused and it breaks Catalina’s heart. Every. Single. Time. She will keep telling her until one day Kat’s reaction won’t be surprise and incredulity.

‘I’d need a third lifetime to list all the reasons. But I’m always proud of you.’ Catalina slips her hand so that she is holding the crook of Kat’s elbow, now walking arm in arm. ‘Siempre, querida, siempre.’

When it comes to Jane’s turn, the set-up is a bit different. Upon Jane’s request, Kat is going to play the keyboard instead of having a track playing on her laptop. Despite Kat’s encouragement, Jane still doesn’t feel fully confident...especially about some parts of her song. More than once she suggested to take those out, afraid of chocking or freezing when singing in front of other people. Since when they had practiced with Kat on the keyboard, if Jane changed anything, the younger girl had been able to adapt the music on the spot...they had agreed that Kat will play and follows Jane’s lead, if she decides not to go full-out.

‘I’m sorry...you were the one worried about us singing ourselves??’ Anne breaks the silence that had settled as Jane’s song winded down.

‘Yes, girl!’ Anna agrees. ‘That’s some set of pipes.’

‘We might actually have a problem finding people who can sing that. Between you and Catalina...’ Cathy joins in. The new version of the first queen’s song had some new lines, minor changes and tweaks. And lots of riffing, with Catalina fully making the song hers while Kat had sung the added choruses.

‘I was surprised myself.’ Jane admits bashful at the praises. ‘We went through...scales?’ she looks at Kat to make sure she is saying it right.

‘Yes, I wanted to find her vocal range. See what was within her natural reach, how high she could get…and she kept going up and up.’ Kat nods with a laugh, remembering the scene and how shocked they had both been when they realised the potential of Jane’s voice. Once Kat heard her, she knew she simply had to include some whistle notes.

‘I think some vocal training would be good.’ Anne raises her hands at the looks she receives. ‘I don’t mean it like that. I already said that! Just...one thing is doing that once. Another is doing it repeatedly and consistently…and doing it well.’

‘She has a point.’ Everyone who had ever taken vocal lessons agree.

‘It’s like with playing an instrument or dancing. You might have talent, but you need to cultivate it. Study. Practice. Train.’

‘Talking about dancing,’ Catalina starts, ‘what do we think about choreographies? Jane’s song doesn’t lend itself, but I have some ideas for mine.’

Kat looks at her, raised eyebrow and amused expression on her face. Some ideas? She basically has choreographed half of the song already.

The exchange is missed as Anne exclaims. ‘Me too!’

Jane groans. ‘Not that too. I just solved one problem.’

‘Please,’ Anna scoffs good-natured at her, ‘next thing we know you’ll be popping and locking like a pro.’

‘I have no idea what you just said.’ Jane deadpans.

Anne and Catalina are still staring at each other. Kat and Cathy look from one to the other. The first two queens were both renowned, among a lot of other things, for being accomplished and skilful dancers. Things had gone quite smoothly so far, but they learned during their cohabitation to never underestimate what could start a squabble…or worse.

‘So,’ Anne clears her throat, suddenly awkward, ‘team up?’

Catalina ponders in silence a bit longer. ‘You know what? Why not!’

She doesn’t miss the relieved looks on the last two queens’ faces, before they turn to each other with excited grins. She supposes that her girl is happy that she is trying to get along with her cousin, whom she got even closer since they worked on Anne’s song together, and Cathy is probably happy with how her project is taking shape, and that others besides her (and Kat) are showing initiative. And both are probably happy that a potential quarrel had been avoided. The last two queens had been the ones most uncomfortable when discussions would happen at the household.

‘Anyone has anything else to add before we adjourn the meeting?’

‘Ohh, so profesh!’ Anne teases Cathy.

‘I actually have.’ Kat speaks up. ‘I thought about your idea of having an intro song...what if we make it about what we are known for?’

‘Oh. Like, this is what you think you know about us. Then bam! We have our songs that rewrite the whole history.’ Anna picks it up immediately.

‘Making it…her-story,’

Everyone turns to look at Jane, who appears very proud of her pun. Kat is the one who reacts first. Having spent long hours with her cousin while writing her song, she has come to know her love for puns and – usually lame – jokes. She whips out her pen to scribble something down on her pink notebook, before raising her head again. ‘But yes, Anna, that’s exactly what I meant.’

‘That makes sense.’ Anne nods.

‘We should include that stupid rhyme.’ Kat muses aloud. ‘You know, divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived...wait. Wait.’ she raises one hand as to silence the others while with her other hand she is busy writing on her notebook.

‘We are waiting.’ Catalina informs her, tone amused. ‘Not sure what for, though.’

Kat doesn’t reply until she stops writing. She gives a long look at the words she penned. ‘What about.

I'm done 'cause all this time I've been just one word In a stupid rhyme

‘We could use that as an actual intro!’ Anne lights up. ‘Like. Divorced and Catalina enters. Beheaded and I do. And so on.’

‘I haven’t started to think about that song at all.’ Cathy admits. She is slowly putting together her own. There is so much she wants to say and not much time…in a song. Sometimes she wishes she had less time to write, that she was not the last queen, because then she would have to take what she got and present it, instead of agonizing over every single word and whether there is a better one to use. ‘But just like this, on the spot...I think that stupid rhyme,’ she sends a smile to Kat, ‘could also work as refrain?’

#six the musical fanfiction #six the musical #catherine and katherine #six fanfiction #six writing #my six posts #six fanfic #six the musical fic #fic: It’s All Coming Back to Me Now #six the musical fanfic #six fic #mywork #my ideas #my posts

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ask-whitepearl-and-steven · 5 years

Note

Sorry if this is a weird question, but how does it feel being able to fluently understand and speak more than one language? (I'm unfortunately only able to speak english despite my best efforts at french and german so i'm.. curious how it is for fluent multilinguals)

Uhhh I'm sure some other bilingual people can answer it more eloquently but honestly, it doesn't feel like anything. In fact, you probably already know what it feels like because it's likely that you have already experienced something similar by code-switching between slang/memes and more curbed speech with your family and peers.

Think of this this way - even if you can't speak another full language, you can speak a dialect. Dialects are different... Subsections of language. Most of us speak two dialects even if we don't realize it. For example, if you lived in Texas your whole life and then moved abroad to Australia you'd probably change your speech to match that of the local dialect, even if both are forms of English. If you're black there's probably a change between how you talk with other black people and when you're talking with white friends or professors, etc. If you're LGBTQ+ you might end up using specific words with your queer heavy groups of friends that your straight conservative family would not understand at all.

In a similar way, you already speak another form of English because if you've spent enough time on the internet, you probably speak Memeglish. (Not a real dialect, but 🐻 with me.) You know a lot of weird little phrases and expressions that other people might not be about to understand. Things like saying "mood" as a neutral reaction (modern English aizuchi for all intents and purposes) or responding to your friend's text message about how a hot celeb broke up with their SO with "it's free real estate" (+eyebrow wiggle) would be borderline incomprehensible to others who aren't familiar with this form of communication.

That's basically what other languages are like expect like... Ramped up to 11. But the process of knowing them feels the same as you knowing weird little obscure memes and knowing exactly when to use them, even though your mom is looking at you like you're an alien.

#language #linguistics #dialects #chekhov answers #memes #memeglish #q word

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canchewread · 3 years

Photo

Editor's note: The War on Sharing is an informal journal about my life as an anti-capitalist dissident in a burgeoning Pig Empire police state, during a time of normalized fascist reaction. Given the deeply personal nature of this writing, please consider citations to be arbitrary, profanity to be praxis, and slang to be artisanal.

Those who control the present take great pains to control our understanding of the past." - Michael Parenti, History as Mystery (City Lights Books, 1999)

The War On Sharing: Thunderheads

So why the fuck am I starting an informal meme blog? It's complicated.

If I'm being completely honest in this space, I should start by confessing that I don't know how to tell you the things I need you to hear. That is of course a terrifying thing for a writer to admit openly, but recent events in both my personal life, and the world at large have convinced me that I might not have as much time to perfect my revolutionary rhetoric as I had previously believed. What I have come to understand as the global capitalist war on sharing is clearly escalating; in both scope and violence. In light of a recent illness, and my own personal brush with a burgeoning Pig Empire police state, I find myself questioning the value of debunking the individual lies of the capitalist order, and the wisdom of exhausting myself in a hopeless battle against both the neoliberal, and modern fascist propaganda arms of said order. I feel a desperate, almost primary need to put these events into their proper context and reveal the larger picture, but the plain truth of it is that I'm beat up, exhausted, and frankly I don't know how.

Oh, don't get me wrong, it's not as if I haven't tried to communicate the horror of what our capitalist society really is and where it's clearly heading; I most certainly have, by means both painfully earnest, and humorously circuitous as it happens. Unfortunately I am an imperfect messenger, and I have never quite mastered the trick of getting folks to understand something they know is true, but do not want to believe because it's simply too horrible to bear. Faced with the reality that possessing a library with hundreds of books cataloguing the monstrous functions of capitalism, and the historically verified crimes, deceptions, and outrageous abuses of its enforcers, isn't very useful if nobody who hasn't also read those books is even willing to believe you about the established facts of history, I find my academic writing wholly insufficient to properly communicate this larger, and admittedly quite terrifying picture of the reality my studies have revealed to me.

Therefore, I need a blog, or a journal if you'll humor my vanity, because I don't know how to artfully tell you there's a storm coming, or perhaps more accurately, already in progress; a violent pincer "reaction" that's as predictable as rain after thunder, driven by the multiplying crises of capitalism and the rising public embrace of socialist alternatives. I need to tell you these things in plain language because this phase of the class war is going to be hard on folks who sincerely believe you can't get in trouble for having ideas and I cannot allow myself to be misunderstood; the reality is that under the thumb of Pig Empire capitalism, the only truly outrageous crime is having ideas that threaten the continued dominance of capitalist extractivism, and the ruling classes it benefits.

Like clockwork the emergence of an even vaguely cohesive Pig Empire left, has already resulted in the unleashing of yet another flavor of fascist political violence, and legalized oppression by the bourgeoisie capitalist state. As we literally run out of planet to pillage, rising global inequality leads to what amounts the mass murder of the poor, and the bald-faced inhuman monstrosity of our ruling ideology (and the classes of folks who benefit from it) forces the protesting masses into the streets, there is no reason whatsoever to believe this situation is going to improve. Indeed, history says that both the reactionary right, and neoliberal police states in the Pig Empire, are quite capable of inflicting far more violence and terror in the service of protecting the capitalist order than we've seen so far in this particular round of the endless struggle.

The knives are out lads, and reality doesn't actually give a fuck if you feel a way about what is and isn't possible in a so-called "liberal democracy." The simple truth is that the world does not work the way we have all been led to believe, and perhaps more importantly, trained to uphold. Capitalism is not an economic system; it's a hierarchal social order, an ideological prison, and (particularly as expressed in the Anglo-American sphere of influence) a predatory cult. The extraction of wealth from the underclasses, at bayonet point if necessary, is not only the driving force of the last five centuries (and counting) of Pig Empire history, but maintaining, strengthening and obfuscating that primitive accumulation through legalized violence, is ultimately the very reason most "liberal democratic" institutions exist in the first place; from media and politics, to policing and the military.

Does that sound like a conspiracy theory to you? Well let me inform you that it's a simplified Marxist historiographic analysis of modern society, but the fact your brain immediately told you to question my sanity demonstrates the effectiveness of the explicitly capitalist propaganda model that utterly dominates our educational and media environments - does it not? “All that is solid melts into air,” indeed.

So I'm starting a journal, because there are some things I still need to say and don't feel I can express any other way. I'm starting it because there are some nights that I'm just too damn broken and tired to keep proving basic Marxist analysis is not a tinfoil hat conspiracy theory to folks who genuinely want to believe you can topple capitalism at the ballot box. And I’m starting it because I still don't know how to tell you the world is a fucking vampire in the proper Oxford vernacular. As it turns out, life during wartime is no place for meticulous footnotes.

This irregular feature won't replace my regular writing, but given that I'm currently stone incapable of engaging with polite fictions and necessary illusions, it is a vital activity for the preservation of my sanity; if not other's perceptions of the same. If I'm lucky, we'll never do this again; but given that the other option is literally staring at a blank page with tears of frustration welling in my eyes for what feels like the fifth consecutive night, I assumed readers would prefer my emo ravings to continued radio silence.

Additional Reading:

Manufacturing Consent – Chomsky, Herman – Review – Margin Notes

Necessary Illusions – Noam Chomsky – Review

Political Mind Games – Roy Eidelson – Review – Margin Notes

History as Mystery – Michael Parenti – Review

Inventing Reality – Michael Parenti – Review – Margin Notes

Propaganda, Inc – Nancy Snow – Review

Debt: the First 5,000 Years – David Graeber – Review

A Brief History of Neoliberalism – David Harvey – Review

- nina illingworth

Independent writer, critic and analyst with a left focus. Please help me fight corporate censorship by sharing my articles with your friends online!

You can find my work at ninaillingworth.com, Can’t You Read, Media Madness and my Patreon Blog

Updates available on Instagram, Mastodon and Facebook. Podcast at “No Fugazi” on Soundcloud.

Inquiries and requests to speak to the manager @ASNinaWrites

Chat with fellow readers online at Anarcho Nina Writes on Discord!

“It’s ok Willie; swing heil, swing heil…”

#journals #informal writing #nina illingworth #memes #anticapitalism #Marxist analysis #capitalism is a cult #reaction #fascism #neoliberalism #The War on Sharing #propaganda #counterinsurgency #COINTELPRO #Pig Empire

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eat-worms · 4 years

Text

T.H.O.M.A.S

Technological

Human

Operations

Mimicking

Automated

System

Sanders Sides AU where Thomas is a Robot the sides are building.

🤖=🤖=🤖=🤖=🤖=🤖=🤖

Plot: A bunch of 𝑔𝒶𝓎 scientists have to begrudgingly work together on building their robot son.

Patton- Was originally the bubbly receptionist for the lab, but after a few run ins and or shenanigans Janus realizes that Patton is really good with people and is the perfect test subject and consultant for Thomas's emotion replication abilities. So he officially hires him. (cant do tech stuff at all. cant even "hang out" with Thomas without something breaking)

Logan- The one building the robot parts of Thomas. Gets fed up with the other's antics but couldn't do it without them :)

Roman- Engineering. Designs the stuff on paper and in little prototypes. wants to constantly make Thomas "cooler" and adds in random things in the designs like a soda dispenser and Logan is tired™

Remus- Testing. Makes Thomas do stupid stuff and films it and Logan is like "how did you get a degree of science you buffoon??" and Roman just cackles and it inspires him to add more ridiculous and obscure things to Thomas for Remus to test.

Virgil- Techie that programs Thomas and also helps Logan build but mainly works on the safety aspect and fixing stuff after Remus tests. He also loves the wacky tests but if ANYTHING happens to Thomas u will pay. He adds protections and warnings in his comments/notes like "do not. under ANY circumstances. put Thomas within a 5 foot radius of a spider." just to confuse and annoy Logan (he may also be half serious) and Logan doesn't know what to do with any of it.

Janus- Director of the psychological studies for Thomas. He is very well versed in the ethics of the field they are working in and wont hesitate to debate you. He mainly focuses on trying to make Thomas act like a person even though hes a Robot and alongside Roman helps translate that into something that can be built. Hes also kind of the leader, along with Logan.

Moments:

Logan: This is test number three-five-o-two at 3:25 PM EST on July 3rd 2020 to evaluate-

Virgil: Logan, why is Thomas talking to the stove?

Logan: Wh-

Roman: Aw come on! Look at how stupid he looks talking to the kitchen appliances Logan, you made him stupid.

Logan: I dID NOT make him STUPID YOU-

*Janus later has to end the kerfuffle after he walks in on Logan, on top of Roman, holding a soldering iron to Roman's throat*

~~~

*Thomas is booting up but it's taking a while*

Roman: Tom

Patton: Tomathy

Roman: Tommy Salami

Patton: Tomalama ding-dong

Roman: Thomas the DANK engine

Logan: ...

~~~

Logan: I know him better than anyone because I know how he works so-

~~~

🤖💖More Lore💖🤖

Logan does the know exact time thing but says it at the same time as Thomas when someone asks what the time is.

🤖

Virgil will talk to Thomas like hes a person and Logan is confused by this but Virgil uses the excuse that hes supposed to seem like a human so why not talk to him ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Virgil also kinda vents to him but uh big ouch a lot of it gets recorded onto Thomas and that gets turned into either hyjinx and or angst later.

🤖

Patton also talks to Thomas like a person but more like "Yes look and my robot son he is so smart I love him" and he also teaches him puns. The puns get out of hand at some point and Thomas has got it in his neural network that puns are The Exact Right Thing To Say in Any social interaction but they start becoming really obscure because Thomas has access to a lot of information, and he hasn't quite nailed getting puns in context, so one time he makes a pun that is really sciencey and vaguely connected to the conversation so only Logan gets it,,,,, but he finds it hilarious and it's the only pun Logan will admit to laughing at.

🤖

Virgil has that programmer relationship with Thomas. So smthn just wont run correctly and Virgil is like "YOU IDIOT! I'm going to prohibit your mimicking human breathing function if you keep this up!!!" "A SINGLE SEMI COLON ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! Why is it ALWAYS dumb s̶h̶i̶t̶ like that with you Thomas?!" "I have a million copies saved of his program because if anything happens to him I will actually combust." He also has incomprehensible names for variables and functions and stuff and some of them are memes and vine references. Logan has had to learn a bunch of modern slang just vaguely understand what's happening in the code.

🤖

Jan is always recommending certain things to Roman to make Thomas more realistic but sometimes they are obscure because "people and psychology are just weird" so Roman adds them in (or tries) but sometimes Janus just makes it up and watches everyone struggle meeting his request for entertainment. like, "Mhm, ok, fantastic work this week, truly, just show-stopping. However, comma, He just... doesn’t fix his hair enough... You'd be surprised the amount of times the average Male adult fixes his hair in a single social interaction. So....make him do it more." (That request never ended up getting changed back after it got implemented...)

🤖

Remus is always adding things to the list of "things he needs to test with" and Pat at reception starts to get concerned with the 3rd bulk shipment of deodorant that came through. Remus actually uses funds to restock the fridge and snack cabinet a lot along with Roman occasionally.

🤖

Pat is always scolding the others (mainly Remus and Virgil) for swearing or saying mean things too or around Thomas because he "wants to raise him right" and doesn't want him to "learn bad manners". He also may or may not be low-key emotionally attached to Thomas and wants to believe he actually feels things. Janus is simultaneously amused and frustrated with this but he let's it slide because "I guess that means that Thomas is effective...despite the fact that Patton is naive, it's still promising."

(Patton isn't actually naive, just because he wants to treat Thomas like a human doesn't mean he thinks he is. Patton really does it because then the others can be proud of their hard work and can actually see Thomas functioning with a person outside of a controlled environment.)

Yeah so that's what I got so far! I kinda wanna add more to this so if ya like the idea interact with this post n I'll maybe make an update. I don’t have a plot in mind for this other than like, Patton being added to the group. I just think the idea is cute and works well with the dynamics already set up in Sanders Sides.

Also, Disclaimer, I haven't had any experience in Robotics LOL so this could all be actual gibberish. I have done Computer Science and programming tho so I vaguely understand that side of it. But the engineering and actual possibility of making a human-like Robot I have no clue about.

Oh! If you know anything about these topics or maybe just like this au idea and want to add on FEEL FREE TO SHARE! :D I would LOVE to see what people have to add!

See yah~💖🤖💖~

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