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ot3 · 10 months

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The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere

What is it, and why you should read it.

(Art by purple)

The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere is a currently updating webserial by author Lurina. It's one of my favorite things I've read in a long while and I'd like to convince you all to give it a chance.

My elevator pitch is this: A time-loop murder mystery directly inspired by Umineko, with a lot of similar vibes to the Locked Tomb Trilogy - partially due to it's meditations on grief and mortality and partially due to it's far-future magical sci-fi world where we follow a fucked up lesbian necromancer on a task she is determined to see through to the end. A deeply complex, unique, and believable world that plays hosts to one of the best interpersonal dynamics I've read.

In a future so far-flung that it is past the heat death of the universe, humanity has constructed a new society that is post-scarcity but not post-stratification. Utsushikome of Fusai is one amongst a class of prodigious young medical arcanists (essentially grad students) who are invited to visit a recently legitimized conclave of top-of-the-line researchers studying immortality. Accompanying Su is her best friend Ran, a fellow arcanist. Over the course of the novel we begin to slowly unravel exactly what ulterior motives have brought them to this conclave and how events in their childhoods and years of working toward their shared goal has warped their relationship into what we now see. This relationship is the crown jewel of Flower's narrative, and getting to peel back the layers of it as you read is a delight.

Like Umineko, Flower is a murder mystery that prevents itself with in-universe Rules that dictate the murders' parameters, meaning there's a lot to chew on for anyone who likes solving mysteries. For those that don't, like myself, Flower offers instead a richly developed world and plenty of open questions about the sociopolitical and metaphysical implications of its own worldbuilding.

Below the cut, I'll go into more detail about the series (without spoilers!) for those of you whose interest has been piqued.

The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere is currently ongoing, updating every few weeks. It's several hundred thousand words, so if you're looking for something substantial to keep you entertained, you've got it. As you might expect from the length, the pacing is decently slow. I don't see this as a bad thing at all, because within this pacing Lurina dripfeeds the readers enough new and interesting information at a regular rate that it never feels like your time is being wasted. But if you can't handle slow burns, I wouldn't recommend this one for you.

If you enjoyed the Zero Escape series and liked that they stopped solving murder puzzles to infodump about fringe science, I think you'll get a lot out of Flower. Characters are frequently interrupting their life-or-death scenarios to have lofty, philosophical and political discussions. It's a ton of fun if you like reading characters argue.

'People have to sleep.' 'People have to work.' 'People have to die.' But those were just vague rules, phrasing I'd used because it had been easier in the context of that conversation. What really mattered, on the day-to-day level, was the idea that it was all for something. If someone invented a elixir that made people not to need to sleep, it would, in retrospect, recontextualize all nights everyone ever wasted sleeping as wastes of time. Not something that occurred for some inherent purpose, but whims of circumstance, a tragedy of when you happened to be born. If you accepted that all unfair things in the world could be removed, if only someone knew how - fatigue, labor, death - then to exist in the world we had now, with all its grotesque imperfections, was to know that you had been violated by fate.

Along those lines it's just got a sense of humor I really enjoy. Pretty dry and cavalier. It manages to keep the mood light without feeling like it's undermining it's own stakes. I'm particularly fond of Su's penchant for telling incredibly depressing suicide jokes that just Do Not Land.

The peer pressure cut into me like a hot knife. I hesitated a little, biting my lip. "Well, uh, okay. I'll just tell a quick one." I swallowed, my mind quickly scrambling. "Okay, so, there's a woman who runs a dispensary for second hand goods. She sees a man come in who's a regular customer. He's kind of a mess-- Has a big beard, a bad complexion. He buys a razor, and tells her he needs it to clean himself up, because he has a date." I could see that I now had Ophelia's attention and that Kam was looking pleased with herself, but Ran was watching me, too. I could see the look in her eyes. It screamed at me, with such vividity that it could be sold at an art gallery: You better not be telling a suicide joke right now, or we're going to have a talk. But it was too late. The wheels were already in motion.

As I mentioned up top, the relationship between Ran and Su is just one of my favorite interpersonal dynamics ever. Period. The author is playing some insanely complicated 5th dimensional yuri chess and I am absolutely here for it as someone who likes characters who are deeply devoted to each other in a way that is deeply deeply fraught. I cant emphasize enough how obsessed I am with what they have going on.

Additionally, as stated, the worldbuilding in Flower is top tier. The author clearly understands how every part of her world functions, which makes the moral quandaries and politics presented all the more impactful because they're very believable. It's hard to talk about Flower's world without spoiling too much of the specifics that get slowly revealed, but it doesn't fall back on any typical sci-fi standard fare and feels like a breath of fresh air amongst recycled and repetitive worldbuilding tropes.

A lot of really fun side characters. Strong voices for all of the supporting cast (♥♥Kamrusepa♥♥) and even though not every character gets their own arc, they all clearly have plenty of interiority. Once again, another thing that makes Flower feel very believable despite it's absurdities.

Autism

"Did you notice anything out of the ordinary with anyone?" She eyed him. "Anyone who seemed tense?" "Saoite, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but half of our class is so autistic that they constantly seem tense. You might as well ask me to find a specific turd in a sewer." "Just answer the question, please," she replied flatly.

Guys it's really good just trust me I don't want to spoil you for the more intricate plot beats but they're doing some crazy shit here. It's never a bad time to support an independent author's project. If you're sick of corporate mass-media and stuff needing to be marketable, getting into independent works owned and supported by individual creators is a great way to push back against that. I highly recommend it.

#media recs #the flower that bloomed nowhere

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geminimoonmadness · 10 months

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NATAL

RETROGRADES

Copywrites Reserved ©️GeminiMoonMadness

A retrograde in astrology is when a planetary object appears to move backwards, which essentially means the planet's energy is somewhat effected, so those life areas that fall under that planet's domain are not as easily expressed. It’s a very karmic thing to have in the natal chart, your soul chose to incarnate to learn deeper lessons regarding the areas of life ruled by that specific planet/asteroid. To know if you have a natal retrograde in your chart, look for Rx or R on a generated chart calculator.

Fun fact: Mars is the rarest retrograde.

❤️🖤❤️

Planets

If your Ruling Planet is Retrograde it will make you doubt yourself more and you may experience self image issues.

For example: A Gemini Rising with a natal Mercury retrograde or A Sagittarius Rising with a natal Jupiter retrograde.

Mercury Retrograde gives you lessons around communication, learning and intellect. You may struggle to articulate words and speak up or may even talk too much and not know when to be quiet.

Venus Retrograde makes someone’s nature more intense & deep. They take their connections very seriously which may cause these individuals to go through difficulties in regards to their one on one relationships. Since socialising is not taken lightly there can be some sort of awkwardness when participating in small talk and general shyness in order to avoid superficial connections.

Mars Retrograde individuals may lack forward movement, assertive abilities, have a dulled passion & drive. They may feel fatigued & tired more than often. Your sex drive may also be effected because of this.

Jupiter Retrograde individuals tend to have different or unusual perspectives, belief systems, or sets of morals. They prefer to learn from their own experiences rather than from others. This placement gives me “what do you know because you’ve experienced it yourself VS what do you know because you were told” vibes.

Saturn Regrograde burdens you with responsibilities and a sense of duty in your life. You may struggle with boundaries and find it difficult to say no to others.

Uranus Retrograde may make it hard for you to fully express your inner originality and unique side. These individuals are born a rebel and may also experience unexpected & sudden karmic events in their life.

Neptune Retrograde takes away your rose coloured glasses, you may have to face hard and painful realities as the neptunian illusion is stripped away. You’re meant to discover the truth behind your illusions, realise what is sacred and be a source of light in others lives.

Pluto Retrograde brings more growth opportunities into your life. You may have a fear of letting go which you’re here to learn the importance of doing so. You need to take control of your life as your shadow side may take over if you don’t do the work to transform/grow. (Shadow work is necessary with this placement)

(I know Lilith isn’t a planet, just adding it)

Lilith Retrograde can make you a sexual deviant (because sexuality is part of Lilith’s nature and here it's manifesting differently). You may struggle with following your instincts and acknowledging your desires. For example: Someone with a retrograde Lilith in Virgo would not be the typical control freak Lilith in Virgo person, instead they will be very messy.

ASTEROIDS

Chiron Retrograde means that trauma is deep within and may even come from a past life. In this lifetime, these individuals are here to re-evaluate your relationship with anyone & anything that doesn’t support you anymore. They may find it challenging to accept their feelings and the simple fact that humans are imperfect and vulnerable.

Ceres Retrograde individuals can struggle with having the nourishment, support, resources they need and may experience a lack in some way. This usually means that your upbringing failed to teach you the proper lessons about nurture and self care, so you'll have to learn it yourself. Check your Ceres sign and it will teach you what you need to nurture.

Juno Retrograde individuals may have commitment issues or trauma they need to work through. This also is an indication of past life karma in regards to relationships. These people are the lone wolves, they tend to avoid partnerships & may even prefer to be single and independent.

Vesta Retrograde individuals may lack devotion and discipline. It can bring up issues around fear of sexuality or intimacy, obsession, prostitution or selling yourself short in some way. They’re here to learn the value of service, this will examine how much dedication they’re putting into their life. When we put in little dedication, we can suffer. When we put in too much dedication, we can suffer as well. They may struggle with feeling like they fit in because they tend to lack devotion and/or generosity for others.

Pallas Retrograde may make someone aggressive, immature, have criminal tendencies and daddy issues. These individuals strategy may not be accept by society, with a ‘pick me’ vibe. They are inclined to manipulate and lie but can overcome these traits with self awareness and shadow work.

Amor retrograde individuals have some sort of discomfort when it comes to romance. You may have some old love issues and traumas to work through. These people tend to take a different approach to romance.

Cupido Retrograde may mean you have way too many crushes or rarely have any. You become too infatuated at times, or lack passion, and need to find a balance between the two.

Eros Retrograde may cause some issues around sex. This indicates there may be past trauma on a soul level, so you need to work on acknowledging your desires and acting on urges and fantasies in a healthy way.

Hermes Retrograde people tend to be in the wrong crowd and often find themselves taking the fall for others mistakes. These people tend to be good people but they may not be the best at balancing their life and managing their time. Possible fertility issues. Due to past accidents or incidents they have experienced in a past life may give them travel-related fears in this life. (fear of flying, fear of water, fear of driving, fear of bikes, fear of trains, fear of horses, etc.)

Eris Retrograde people may unintentionally cause trouble by doing things they thought wouldn’t be an issue. They may not like confronting others because it feels uncomfortable or they feel attacked whenever they speak up for themselves - They tend to experience a lot of gaslighting yet they usually hate fighting with others. They may often feel as though they are alone even when surrounded by other people.

Aphrodite Retrograde individuals may experience extremes from having stalkers to not being adored by others at all. They may feel unseen and unappreciated by others, making it often difficult to appreciate themselves. They tend to experience a lot of drama and may not be the most jealous person but rather the person who is too insecure to be openly jealous as if it’s like they expected it, “too good to be true” vibes.

❤️🖤❤️

I tried to be as informative as I could and added as much variety as I can with the asteroids I’m familiar with. There are other retrogrades I haven’t listed here.

Let me know which of these you have!

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ohnoitstbskyen · 4 months

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I heard a raw line from Guilllermo Del Toro the other day about monsters being the perfect way to express human failure:

“…monsters, I believe, are patron saints of our blissful imperfection, and they allow and embody the possibility of failing.”

And i was wondering your take on this quote in relation to things like vampire and werewolf and other semi-monster subtexts. “Monstrous” humans that are ironically allowed to act more human more often than… humans. I just find the attempt to make an outlet for imperfection while still at large criticizing it fascinating.

I mean, yeah, there's a long history of interpreting monsters through queer, anti-colonial, feminist and other Outsider lenses for exactly those reasons. The monster is the Other who is vilified by the in-group, which represents all that the in-group hates. The monster must, by its nature, fail to live up to the standards and expectations of the in-group, which is why it must be destroyed. But that also means the monster is free from the standards and expectations of the in-group, including oppressive and bigoted ones.

So, as an example, if you're queer, and rhetorically treated as inhuman and monstrous and diseased anyway, or eugenically classified as a deviant mutation or sub-derivation of "real" people, there is real appeal and a real sense of resistance in claiming monsterhood, in embracing it and glorying in it.

In part, that's what the rallying cry "we're here, we're queer, get used to it!" meant and still means. It is a reclaiming of monsterhood as a source of strength and community and pride, rather than shame. Slurs are used to Other queer people, to set them apart from "real" people and mark them out as a monstrous deviation from the virtuous norm - slurs are used to call us monsters. And thus a lot of queer people find a lot of power and freedom in reclaiming them, in turning their Othering into a flag to rally around.

And I think that's still a big part of the appeal of the monster, honestly, that freedom from being what someone else thinks you ought to be.

If you're a monster, you don't have to have the perfect body, you don't have to suppress your lust or your love. You don't have to shave your body hair or dress correctly for your assigned gender, or have a white picket fence house with a spouse and 2.3 children. You don't have to sit primly at the dinner table, you don't have to repress your emotions, you don't have to hate the foreigner or despise the gays or fear the trans agenda. You don't have to have a small, straight nose or perfect cheekbones, you don't have to wait to fuck until you're married, or pretend you want to fuck at all. You don't have to want to get rich or be a CEO, you don't have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps or be on your grindset, or cheer when the cops clear out a homeless camp.

To be a monster is to be free from the inhumanity that is forced on us by white supremacy, by fatphobia, by heteronormativity, by imperialism, and by the interests of capital. To be a monster is to be human in all the ways that are inconvenient to oppression.

... but I went off on a tangent there a little bit - vampires and werewolves, right. I have no theoretical or academic basis for any of this, so this is entirely a personal hot take, but I think vampires are perhaps a bit more about "passing" as a fantasy. Not necessarily in a gender sense, but the ability to keep your true nature undetected by the "normal" folk, while the secret things that make you different also make you dangerous and powerful. Surviving by stealing sustenance from a world that hates you, on terms that are entirely yours to dictate. "I will survive even if it kills you," that kind of vibe.

Werewolves, on the other hand, feel more like a defiant, angry embrace of the monstrous. Transforming into something vast and powerful and furious, growing out of your skin, out of your form, out of your boundaries; howling your nature to the moon and mauling any motherfucker who has a problem with it. Giving in to all the beastly unnatural urges, and diving into the horrible monstrous wants and desires that boil inside you (which, remember, include things like Not Wanting To Fuck or Wanting To Hold A Girl's Hand In A Lesbian Sort Of Way). Less the "I outfoxed your social game and drank you dry" slick vampire power fantasy and more the "call me a slur one more time and I'm going to wear your entrails like a fucking scarf" power fantasy.

Again, that's just personal hot takes, everyone's understanding of the monstrous in relation to themselves is different. I've seen a number of genderfluid and nb people use monstrousness as a way to defy occupying a shape that can be gendered for example.

#tb answers #monster #queerness

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cosmicdream222 · 6 months

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The void explained in an old Reiki book

The other day @gorgeouslypink posted about Reiki and the Void on her challenge account here. Usui Reiki is the type of reiki I learned back around 2018, although I kinda half-assed the training and never fully read the book 💀 So I found one of my old Reiki books (it’s from 1995!) and flipped to the back to see if there was an index. There wasn’t, so I proceeded to open it to a random page and what is it about? The Void.

It’s kind of flowery Buddhist language but it’s the void y’all:

Here is the text for easier reading:

Reality is created by the action of Mind from the Void. The Void is the depths of fathomless peace, purity, perfection, mystery and joy. In Wiccan terms it is Spirit, Ether or Goddess. All Be-ing comes from the Void, and it is the essence of all existence. All Be-ing (everyone) is already in a state of perfection, a part of the Buddha Nature (or Goddess Within). Reality is also the Non-Void, which is all potential, and a vast complex of worlds and shifting universes.

Mind emerging from the Void is the first Buddha source, but this source is obscured to most people by the illusion of the senses, the Non-Void. The reality created by this obscuring of Pure Mind is like the reality created in a mirror. People in incarnation do not awaken to their intrinsic purity (the Void) which exists beyond the senses. Their understanding is based upon the Non-Void's illusion. A distorted mind on Earth acts to creates a distorted reality, resulting in suffering.

"Mind, which manifests itself as wisdom, is intrinsically Void; yet everything proceeds from it and is therefore mind's creation." Everything real is created from the perfection of the Void. Yet, because of distortion and illusion, we perceive the world as imperfect and remain attached to delusion.

Wisdom=energy=creation is the Void, and participates in Nirvana. Human perception of reality is Non-Void, based upon potential, and participates in the Mind's creation of suffering in the world.

Enlightenment is understanding the joy of the Void, one's perfect Buddha Nature, and leaving the attachments and delusions of the Non-Void and the senses. Once true reality is perceived, attachments and cravings no longer have meaning, and Nirvana is attained. This understanding is Enlightenment, which leads to the release of the soul from karma and incarnation. It happens by the freeing of the Mind from delusion.

- Essential Reiki by Diane Stein, 1995

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・。.。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

My tl;dr summary:

Our reality is created by the Mind, which comes from the Void. Everything comes from the Void, and its limitless potential. The 3D world (the non-void) we see is an illusion created by the senses. Unenlightened people suffer because they are stuck in the 3D’s illusion, thinking what they perceive with their senses is real.

True understanding, or Enlightenment, comes when we grasp the joy and perfection of the Void, realizing we already have it all, and can release attachments and delusions of the senses.

#manifesting #law of assumption #the void #void state #loa #reality shifting #void concept #reiki

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copperbadge · 1 year

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Hi Sam! Because I just saw the post on ao3 and donations, and a different post about ao3s updated statement regarding chatgpt/ai generated fiction, and you generally have a good read on things like this - what's your opinion on it, and how its meant to be interpreted?

(I want to good faith believe, and its a complicated/ongoing topic, but wanted to hear your thoughts)

I don't know which post about the update you mean, Anon, but I assume the update referenced is the one the OTW posted on 5/13 about AI scraping and ChatGPT. I do have some thoughts but I want to go through the post a little because I don't think I'm actually needed to interpret this one -- I think with some critical thought anyone can, but a lot of people don't get critical thinking training in school, so I want to do a little demo of it.

Pre-emptively, this is a list of things I'm not an expert on: copyright law, data scraping, AI, website design, and the legality of certain forms of freedom of expression. But honestly for this you don't need to be.

First and foremost, we really have no reason to disbelieve OTW when they speak on this subject. While there's debate and discussion about AO3 and certainly it's imperfect in a number of directions, they are pretty transparent, generally speaking. I don't believe there is a reason to approach AO3 with an assumption of disingenuity in a general sense. However, the organization is run by humans, who are imperfect and can sometimes be deceitful, so it's good to always approach public statements with a critical eye.

So the post is talking about two separate but related issues: preventing AIs from scraping AO3, and policy on AI-generated works being posted. What we are looking for, from both, is a combination of things: we want what they're saying to make sense both in the world, and within the statement -- no contradictions, nothing that seems illogical, nothing that seems like baseless assumption or generalization. We want simple prose, and we want a look at the reasoning behind the actions they're taking.

When talking about AI scraping, they start with what they've done to counteract scraping, speaking in relatively simple terms but with enough specificity that if you wanted you could look up anything you didn't understand. They list what they've done to prevent scraping, and they also discuss the issues with the kinds of measures that would need to be implemented to fully prevent it. They mention specific examples that people were concerned about, and they talk about what they'll be doing going forward.

In terms of the text, this all makes sense to me -- here's what we've done, here's the problem with doing more, here's what we plan to do next. Internally, no matter what the topic is, this section is logical, there are no contradictions and no particular evasions. Critically it passes muster. Additionally, with the knowledge I do have of website design and data management, I can tell that they're doing all they reasonably can. From a standpoint of ignorance, the statement makes internal sense; from a standpoint of knowledge, they're doing what I would do in their place.

When talking about AI-generated works, likewise, they're pretty open about their process and reasoning. They say look, this isn't against TOS as it stands, and here's a reminder of why, followed by a mission statement. The bolded text of that statement is very clear, and correlates with what I said in an earlier post: their policy is maximum inclusivity of fanworks. This statement is consistent with policy AO3 has held for years, which is well-known to the community.

They go on to discuss how AI-generated work could violate spam policies, but those spam policies apply to everyone everywhere, and they remind us that we can always have the Policy & Abuse team examine a work we're skeptical of. (Inside baseball, I know some people who have beef with Policy & Abuse for being unresponsive, particularly in certain cases where harassment is involved. However, within this document, they are saying both "here's why we do this" and "if you have a problem, here's the first step.")

Again, after saying what's happening and what's being done about it, they move on to say that these are only current policies, and may change depending on future developments, and that those changes will be made available for public discussion. This is once more internally logical, and with the benefit of outside knowledge, perfectly rational.

Because I agree with them -- when I saw there was an "updated" statement from OTW on AI-generated prose I was frankly alarmed because I think banning AI-generated prose from AO3 causes way more problems than it solves. It's pretty restrained of them not to bring up the issue in more detail, but it's not difficult for those of us familiar with the community to project outwards as to why banning AI prose might be a bad thing.

So, think about what happens if an AI prose ban goes into effect and you read a fic you think was AI generated. How can you tell? Have you read some of the human-generated prose on AO3? Some of it's not great. So really in that case, what you're banning is someone saying they AI-generated the fic, which means AI-generated fic would still show up, it just couldn't be tagged as such. It's like Prohibition -- they banned alcohol and people still drank. They poisoned the alcohol and people drank the poisoned alcohol (check out paragraph five for specifics). If you ban something off the archive it'll still show up there, it just won't be tagged, so instead of a bag labeled "dead dove, do not eat" you just step on a land mine in your kitchen. AI prose is not content in the way that say incest or underage sex is; I'm against banning those as well, but at least with those you can pretty clearly say "yes this is" or "no this isn't" based on objective criteria. You can't do that with "was this made by a human or a machine" when it comes to prose.

Which leads to the second issue: if a text is reported as AI-generated and the author says "No, I wrote that," how do you prove otherwise? If you report an author for uploading AI-generated prose, all that will happen is either they just say "No, I wrote that" or someone on AO3's abuse team unilaterally decides that yes, this is AI prose, and punts someone off the website who might just be kind of a crap writer, which is not a sin or a crime. Either way it's a waste of time. So introducing a ban on AI prose is really just introducing either a useless show-law that will still cause AI prose to be posted there, just without proper tagging, or a tool to harass people with. Harassment is already an issue on the archive.

And we can reason all this out for ourselves simply by asking "What is the good-faith reason for not banning AI prose?" Assuming good faith isn't just for blindly trusting, after all; it's also for reasoning out other peoples' motivations for things.

And frankly fandom gets a little weird about assuming bad faith when it comes to anyone who has the least bit of power within the community. It's something I've encountered personally, as someone with some clout in fandom who is occasionally assumed to have weirdly malevolent intent. I'm not malicious. I'm just an awkward dumbass. But this is just something fandom does, so it's also good to check oneself and go, "Hey, is this person being genuinely malevolent or am I just assuming wickedness because it's easier to be mad at a villain than to explore the complexities of these acts?"

It's why I deliberately didn't speculate about the person who uploaded an AI fanfic and didn't respond to others doing so in comments. That person is right there. You don't have to assume any intent at all, you can just ask them. And it's so much more educational to do so!

So yeah, actually real props to whoever wrote that post by the OTW -- it's internally logical, reasonably transparent, simply written, and avoids a lot of prose pitfalls that I would absolutely fall into (did fall into, in this very post). I think within this area, they are doing what they can to prevent scraping and making the correct decisions, for now, regarding AI content on the archive.

#ao3 #otw #ai prose #censorship #archive

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s-soup111 · 4 months

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Make sure it kills me

Paring: Jinshi x (f) Reader

Genre: angst

Tags: hanakai, one-sided love, arranged marriage

“You’re breaking me.” You concluded in your letter. It’s not as if you were going to send it anyway, you placed the carefully folded letter into your locked drawer along with all your other heartfelt paragraphs. What was the point? He didn’t return your feelings anymore. Yes, maybe you did once share small intimate glances, hold pinkies as you walked down the flower garden together. Maybe you did share secret kisses under the softening gaze of the moon-lit pond. Where did that go?

“Was it ever real?” You ask yourself.

Maybe it was. But that was all in the past, Jinshi no longer belongs to you, he belongs to that servant named Maomao. You’ve seen the way he looks at her, with gleaming eyes and intrigued grins. You’ve seen how he gave her his hair pin, you’v seen it all. Jealousy swirling in the pit of your stomach, how pitiful.

Why does he love her? She’s just a servant, strange green hair and a freckled face, she is nothing compared to a beauty like you- you held a graceful complexion, you had an air of confidence not only beautiful but superiority. Just as the daughter of the emperor should. You were perfect, so why doesn’t he look your way anymore? Maybe it was because of how perfect you were. Maomao was anything but perfect, an unpredictable character and lower class. So imperfect but kind.

You choke on something, suddenly you find it difficult to breathe. You struggle in your room but no one comes to help you, all your ladies in waiting are outside by your order. How ironic. You hyperventilate in your own room, coughing, tears swelling in your eyes- you reach out trying to grasp onto something. You fall and your sight fades.

Jinshi is not aware of your falling ill until Maomao is summoned into your quarters. Jinshi knows you will be fine, he is not so concerned for your health as he knows Maomao will fix you some way or another, so he does not find the need to visit you. Not until Maomao ushers him urgently with a sense of panic in her eyes does he start to notice something is wrong.

“The madam is severely ill.”

Jinshi rushes to your quarters as soon as he hears this, you never get ill, so why now? As the emperor’s daughter you have been treated with the utmost care, therefore almost never falling ill. He drags Maomao with him, telling her to fix you immediately, not a request, an order. She’s never seen him this way, not with sweat falling from his face in panic, eyes scanning you with concern, hands shaking. Not the usual flirty, perverted man she’s used to.

You open your eyes, searching around your room for any signs of human presence, you see Maomao sitting next to you, head hung low with dark circles sitting under her shut eyes. She must have taken a long time to treat you, you are grateful. You try to raise yourself but it strains your body, your arms supporting your body are weak and unstable, you let out a dry cough- leaving behind a beautiful pink petal on your bed; yet you do not notice and leave your room quietly.

The moon is bright; yet it is a cold and star-less night, you stare at it for some time before you feel the icy breeze get to you. Your body feels weak and worn. In another timeline, Jinshi would wrap his robes around you, shielding you away from the wrath of the night. You walk away pathetically, not the blood trickling from your mouth.

Jinshi watches you from a distance, he is paralyzed by your beauty, ethereal in the moonlight fanning your pale skin, he watches you gaze into nothing in particular, he sees puffs of smoke leave your mouth every time you exhale. You must be cold, he is too unsure if he should go towards you. He sees you turning to move away, his eyes catches something but isn’t sure what it is. Suddenly, he realizes Maomao isn’t next to you and worries. But this time, he worries for you than her.

You are heard by the maids weeping and sobbing in your sleep, often beseeching Jinshi to come home, the life left your body, only leaving some empty shell, your body pained and ached, vomiting blood and pretty pink petals, your health declined to the point you could not manage your household affairs and Jinshi was forced to take over. Jinshi visited your room as much as he allowed himself to; he watched your weak frame struggle to breathe as more tears rolled down your face.

For some reason his heart ached to see you like this, he thought he’d lost feelings years ago. Maybe his heart just didn’t want to let you go.

“Beloved..?” You reach out one night. Jinshi is nose-deep into his work as he hears your voice. He turns around abruptly, heart hammering in his chest. You looked enthralling even deeply ill. Though, you had tears staining your face, “Jinshi, please.” You cried. You coughed, spitting out flowers that tasted bitter on your tongue.

“You’re breaking me, please stop this my love,”

“You know I can’t do that,”

“Then kiss me. Kiss me like you love me, tell me you love me even if you have to lie.”

“I love you.”

You look at him, the ache in your heart has not gone.

“You’re merciless.”

#the apothecary diaries #jinshi #jinshi x reader #angst #female reader #anime #jinshi x maomao

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youryanderedaddy · 6 months

Text

Give, Take, Borrow

Summary: You wake up in Bane's castle. Chaos ensues. Sequel to Love, Loss, Fire. Commissioned piece. tw: nsfw, female reader, non - con, captivity, possessive behavior, vampires, degradation, threats, choking, spanking, mind break

Your eyes scanned the room for any sense of familiarity - for a sight of dust, of color, of imperfection; of humanity. But there was nothing for you to take in. The walls were covered in gold and rubies, and the smell of velvet and blood tainted the heavy air with pure sin. You looked down at yourself, shivering all over. You were completely bare, except for the flimsy silk robe covering your shoulders. The realization that he must have put it on you while you were unconscious left you with a sense of cold dread, but you didn’t have the courage to think beyond that.

The room was empty, for better or worse. You were feeling dizzy and disoriented, and one quick look at the clock confirmed your fears - it was already well past midnight. You had slept for more than 20 hours, your body completely exhausted after the attack. You took a deep breath before brushing the warm blanket aside - you couldn’t keep hiding forever, even if the thought of facing the monster made your skin crawl.

You stepped on the soft fluffy carpet, enjoying the way it felt against your cold feet - but then you stared deeper into the fabric and recognised it as bear fur. Frowning, you stepped aside as the disgust washed over you. So you weren’t the only prize in the lion’s den - you were just the one left breathing. For now.

Eventually you managed to reach the mirror after crawling around, scared as can be. Terrified to look at the state the vampire had left you in. You slowly let the gown slip past your shoulders, revealing your naked figure. Staring back at you was an unrecognizable face and a body that didn’t seem to belong to you anymore. The black - blue bruises and red bloody hickeys stuck to your skin like a cruel reminder of your new reality.

You couldn’t stand to look at yourself anymore so you averted your gaze to the table. There was placed a small porcelain plate, filled with cheese and grapes, along with a thin glass of red wine. Next to it there was a note drenched in thick black ink - so thick it was seeping through the paper onto the fine wood underneath. It read “You can find me in the ballroom.”, but the splashes of blood all over made it clear that the real command behind it was “Come find me in the ballroom. Or else.”

Inhale. Exhale. You had to keep a clear mind - as of now you were the only one you could trust. Lost were the days when you could use another person’s warmth. You were on your own, caged by the enemy.

Your attention was drawn to the chair next to the bed. On it carefully laid was the most beautiful dress you had ever seen - long and delicate with thin golden embroidery sewn into the sleeves, and a tight corset that left little to the imagination. It wasn’t hard to guess who left it here for you to find. The vampire was probably anticipating your arrival by now, picturing you all dressed up for him like a little doll. Too bad that you would rather die before giving into his twisted desires for a second time.

You tried to look around for your own clothes, but soon remembered that they had been destroyed the night before. You had no choice - you had to go through the closet. You grabbed the first white shirt you could find, as well as a pair of brown pants. They didn’t exactly fit properly, too big on your frame, but it was still better than wearing the dress Bane had picked out for you.

You finally reached for the doorknob, hesitating for a moment. You didn’t want to obey the noble’s demand, but you were starving - you hadn’t eaten in days. Besides, you already knew the vampire’s nature - if you were to rebel, he would simply come and drag you away, kicking and screaming. At least this way you retained some level of control over the situation. You got to choose when, where and how he got to play with you; not the other way around.

* * *

You found yourself lost between hundreds of similar looking corridors, all either purple or red, equally grand, even posh. You had to stop yourself from staring at every single painting, photo or antique on the way - but the absolute abundance of the labyrinth made you feel like it was specifically designed to both fascinate and confuse. And just like that, out of the blue someone yanked your arm and shoved you into the nearest wall with little care about your fragile human body.

“What do we have here?” The stranger stepped outside of the shadows, and even before you could see his face, you already felt uneasy. “Seems like a pretty little human. How amusing.” His companion, the one who attacked you, responded swiftly, and the nasal purr in his voice set all the alarms in your mind off. You had to get away - quickly.

You tried to squirm out of the grasp, but the vampire holding you was simply too strong. The room echoed their nasty, mocking chuckles and you could feel their cold hands running down your body at the same time - groping at your hips, your chest, your thighs; their fingers wrapping your hair into a fist and pulling.

“Not so fast, pretty girl.” One of the nobles hissed in your ear as he bared your throat, preparing to sink his fangs deep into the warm, blood - filled flesh. And then you heard it - your scream. A deep, guttural scream that reached the ceiling and bounced off the chandelier.

Not even a second later you found yourself freed, and fell to the ground, breathing heavily. You looked up to see a familiar face extending a strong, muscular hand towards you. And you took it, albeit gingerly.

“Is everything alright, gentlemen?” Bane asserted rather than asked, leaning against the wall. His presence was cold and perfectly collected, the oppressive air around him dominating over his subordinates’ evident bloodlust - the only sign of annoyance hidden behind his crimson orbs. Immediately the two men straightened their backs, appearing docile - obedient before their master as they nodded to no end, too scared to make a sound. You wanted to laugh, but the little voice telling you that you were no different from them made it die down at your throat.

“Great. You’re free to go now.” The hunter smiled, and your heart dropped. You had never seen such a cold smile before - a smile that could kill. It didn’t take long for the vampires to leave in a hurry, mouthing excuses, dumbfounded and ashamed. Now it was just you and your captor, alone in the endless corridor with no way out, his undivided attention on you once again. You gulped dryly.

“You left me alone.” You were the first to break the silence, looking around awkwardly. It was silly to feel shy at this very moment - you had fought that man, he had seen you at your most vulnerable, panting and helpless. And the situation wasn’t all that different now. You were still vulnerable. You were still helpless before him.

“I thought you didn’t want me around.” The monster replied, playfully raising one eyebrow - yet the coldness didn’t leave his eyes. It always stuck like a permanent reminder not to trust the demon.

“And yet you called for me.” You snapped back, clicking your tongue. It was easier to give into your frustration than to bare your fears in front of him. “The note?” Bane pretended to think about it for a second, but it was obviously just a game of tag. “That was simply a suggestion, my darling.” He chuckled, and you whispered “bullshit” - but even if he heard it, he didn’t say anything, instead opting for offering you his forearm. You took it, sighing. It was going to be a long evening.

* * *

The noble lead you to the table, pulling the chair and gesturing for you to sit. You rolled your eyes, but complied - you were so starved you felt like you would do anything for some food. Fortunately, the table was filled up - meats, sweets, fruits, candy, tarts, puddings, liquor… Anything your heart could desire, just like he had promised that night.

Bane crossed his hands, tilting his head to the side - and just like that a glass of wine appeared between his thin fingers. He smirked at your agape expression.

“Go on.” He looked straight at you as he took a big sip. “Explain yourself, dear. Humor me.” He drowned the glass hungrily, licking his lips - his teeth so white they seemed to glow in the dark with a dangerous light. Alluring. Entrancing. “W-who-what are you talking about?” You stumbled over your words, completely puzzled. “I am talking about you, of course. You’re wandering half naked, carrying around the sweetest fucking scent in a castle full of vampires.” The vampire gave you a crooked grin, and you could feel your cheeks getting warm and your head fuzzy.

“You’re either stupid…” He clicked his fingers and his glass filled up with wine again. “Brave…” He paused to play with the glass. “Or looking for attention.” The glass started shattering under the pressure of his fingers, the broken pieces cutting into his skin - but he didn’t seem to care as he let it fall to the ground. “So which one is it, hm?” His eyes were pinning you in place, unable to move as if hypnotized again. “Answer carefully, little one. My jealousy can be… destructive.”

You blinked twice, unable to believe he was actually accusing you of asking for this unwanted attention. “I was just trying to find the dining hall!” You tried to explain, growing agitated. “It was never my intention to run into those bloodsucking bas–”

“How am I supposed to believe that now, hmm?” The predator cut you off, the ghost of a smile haunting his lips as he teleported right in front of you. Your heart was beating like crazy. “If I hadn’t interfered, it would have been their hands feeling you up right now.” He roughly squeezed your shoulder as if trying to bring you down. “Their hands touching what’s mine.” His expression darkened in the split of an eye, making you shiver all over. “What rightfully belongs to me.” You winced, the pain becoming too much to bear. You opened your mouth, but didn’t know what to say.

“Why didn’t you wear the dress I left for you, pet?” The hunter growled, loosening his grip on you - yet taking a step closer at the same time. Now he was simply towering over you, his shadow hiding you from the outside world.

“I am not a-ah doll you can just dress up however y-you want!” You declared, putting on a brave face - but the shakiness in your voice made it sound just like a whimsical little whine. Bane put his hands around the handles of the chair, caging you in. The atmosphere suddenly grew quiet and sinister. “And do you feel better now, love?” He smiled maliciously. “Wearing my clothes?”

You froze in place. His clothes?

“I didn’t know they were yours–” You started, but his cold breath down your neck made you go silent - limbless. “Of course you fucking didn’t.” Bane hissed, his hips buckling against nothing - you could see the bulge in his pants, and your cheeks instantly reddened. “Do you know how much you smell like me right now?” He groaned, eyes glowing scarlet in the dark of the marble room. “Have you got any idea just how ravishing you look?” He whispered lowly, revealing his fangs to your throat - coming so close you could feel the sharp tips graze against the sensitive skin.

“You may think it’s a coincidence… but it’s really not.” His fangs were dancing over your trembling flesh, too faint to pierce through. “You see, darling, your core has been calling out to me since the day we met.” His fingers entangled into your hair, caressing it gently. “It wants to be taken. Claimed.” You closed your eyes, anticipating the scorching hot pain and then… nothing. Bane let go of you.

Oh how he loved playing with his food - you were starting to see the pattern. You would have been pissed if you weren’t shaking like a leaf, teary - eyed and all. You took yet another deep breath.

“Oh, relax, darling.” The noble mocked, shoving a salver towards you. “I simply can’t have you so soon. That would be terribly rude.” He laughed to himself, taking a step back. You wanted to kill him, and yet your stupid heart wouldn’t stop racing beyond control. “I am a gentleman after all.” He followed your gaze to the plate in front of you. “Here, take a bite.” He commanded, unexplainable excitement in his eyes.

You were scared to indulge in the feast, and yet the meat looked so good. So soft and buttery on an empty stomach. You finally gained the courage to bite into it, your face distorting into a grimace the moment the taste hit your tongue. It was raw. Bloody and raw.

The vampire smiled.

“I wanna go home.” You let out a snuffling sob, covering your face with your sleeve. “Please, you have to let me go. I can’t live like this.” You pleaded with your eyes open wide, softening your gaze to appear even more pitiful - for a moment you tried to forget you were dealing with a cold, unforgiving monster. “And where will you go, dear girl?” Bane hummed, not bothering to even look at you. “Your parents are dead and your so - called friends are probably being sold as blood slaves as we speak.” He smiled to himself in a mysterious way, as if reminiscing.

“Besides, all the territories around your home are stormed by high officials. All cruel bastards, mind you - can’t say we’re the best of friends. Too brutish for my taste really.” He put his hands together, voice sweet as honey. “Do you know what they’d do to a pretty, defenseless little thing like you?” The hunter asked, crossing his arms. You gulped, unsure if you were supposed to answer.

“They can’t be worse than you.” You snapped, clenching your fists. Just the mention of your closest people and their bitter fate made your whole body burn like an open wound. “At least they would quickly kill me.” You uttered with venom, hoping it would hurt him the way he had hurt you so many times already. “Without forcing me to play house first.” You continued, a smug, self assured grin finding its way to your tired face. In a way you did feel proud of yourself. The noble, on the hand, was silent - he hadn’t lost his mischievous cheerfulness, but there was a certain uncontained vengeance in his eyes.

“Shall we play a little game, dearest?” He whispered, reaching out to hold your hand - gently. “You seem to think that you’d be happier without me.” He squeezed down on your wrist slightly, applying just enough pressure to keep your eyes on his moving, threatening lips. “Even death is better than my love, right?” You shook your head, suddenly feeling cornered and exposed. “Oh, don’t go back on your word now, darling. You said it yourself.” He chuckled cruelly. “It’s okay. I don’t mind. In fact I think I will give you a chance to rid yourself of me.” He tilted his head playfully. “Aren’t I so generous?”

Your eyes lit up despite your best efforts to keep a poker face. “You’re playing with me again.” You decided to test the waters, squinting. “When have I lied to you, baby?” The man purred as his hands stretched to the side, revealing his muscles. Your eyes narrowed - you weren’t convinced. “I am serious. Listen to me now - because I won’t repeat myself. I will give you a thirty - second head start. You can run as fast as you can. Or you can sit in the corner and cry for all I care. But if you truly know what’s good for you, you will find a way out of the forest.” He asserted, a little smile dancing on his lips. You bit yours, looking away as the tension grew so heavy you could feel it against your chest, beating the air out of your lungs.

“And if I don’t?” You mumbled, unsure if you even wanted to know the answer to your question. “Let your fantasy run wild.” His grin turned predatory. You could feel your palms sweating - but what other choice did you have? You had nothing to lose anymore. You inhaled deeply. “Catch me, demon.” You declared, high off the sudden adrenaline rush, and perhaps even a bit of dumb courage. “Catch me if you can.”

* * *

You were up on your feet and running before the vampire even started chanting those deadly numbers. The last memory you had was of him smirking sadistically - licking his lips as if already tasting your skin on his fangs. You went through countless doors, corridors and floors, but just that bitter little frame stuck at the bottom of your foggy brain was enough to send electricity up your body, fueling you to keep moving - never slowing down or looking back. And it all paid off, because after what felt like hours you somehow made your way out of the castle. The gates were wide open, as if waiting for you. The guards were under a deep trance. Bane, for once, was keeping his word - and giving you fair play.

You looked around - every road led to the Cursed Forest, so you had no choice. You tried to recollect the map you had put together a few weeks ago while you were still on the run. If your mind wasn’t lying to you, the territories outside of the forest were neutral - they belonged to neither the humans nor the vampires, a war - free zone. If only you could get there before the monster caught up to you, freedom wouldn't be just a dream.

Shots fired, you took towards the old trees with a bold step. The oaks hugged you tightly, casting an ethereal shadow - hiding your steps. The song of the ravens stiffened and slowly died down. All the woodpeckers and owls returned to their hollows. Life stilled, poisoned by your humanity. Suddenly a prickly vine wrapped around your leg and you tripped, shortly falling down across a pile of dry leaves and twigs. You winced at the sharp pain, timidly looking down. Fuck.

Your ankle was bleeding, pierced by a thorn - but not just any thorn, an enchanted one; which meant only one thing. The venom was going to spread all over your leg in the next five seconds, dull and throbbing, and make it impossible to move around quickly. But even scarier was the fact that you could already hear heavy steps coming closer and closer, circling you in.

“Just when I needed a drink.” A voice spoke out from the pitch black darkness, but it wasn’t your enemy’s. This voice was softer, silkier. It belonged to a fox-like predator rather than a demon. “Oh, you’re a pretty one at that.” The stranger exclaimed, coming closer. You crawled back with difficulty, but you were no match for the vampire who simply teleported right in front of you with inhuman speed. “We are going to have so much fun, bunny, you and I.” He whispered hungrily, grabbing your chin to expose your neck. How unlucky could you possibly be, running from one predator and falling right into another. You wanted to cry, but instead clenched your eyes tight, holding back the hot tears. If you were about to die, you were going to do so with dignity.

“Let go of her right now, Carter.” A growl echoed through the forest, raw and reeking of violence. You opened your eyes, gasping as you saw a very angry Bane sprinting towards you - but he wasn’t looking at you. His focus was entirely on the man who had attacked you. “Let her go or I swear I am going to gut you and burn you at the stake with my own two hands.” The hunter cursed loudly, forming a fist. You had never seen him so mad, so out of control - he had always been smug, calm and collected - even in the face of danger. Now he was so enraged his voice was practically shaking.

“Now this is interesting.” The stranger chuckled, tightening his grasp on you. “What is she to you, Baney?” He squeezed your jaw painfully, forcing you to look at him, an unreadable mischievous expression on his face. “A lover perhaps? Or just a shiny new toy?” He paused to send a threatening glare towards the noble. “It doesn’t matter to me, really. I found her first.” His finger traced the outline of your lips and you had to restrain yourself from biting his index off. “And we both know the Cursed lands are under my father’s reign.” A vicious chuckle escaped his throat. “Should have kept your dog on a tighter leash, duke.” Carter teased, letting his sharpened fangs rest against your jugular.

Bane looked almost as pained as you - his eyes hardened, softened, then hardened again. Completely black.

“Please, Smith.” Your captor uttered after a long moment of silence, tone breathy and full of… fear. “I will do anything. Just don’t hurt her.” He pleaded, fighting his own pride just to say those words - and then kept his back straight even as the prince laughed in response, full of mockery. “Anything?” The man repeated with a grin, his eyes lighting up eerily. The hunter mouthed “anything” back, seemingly dazed. “I will remember that, Edwards. You owe me big time.” He hissed, roughly shoving you towards the noble. He in turn nodded with his brows narrowed, catching you in his arms.

Bane started dragging you off the bushes right away and you just let him, too tired and scared to fight. You almost died, and the scene kept replaying in your head over and over again. You just realized you were shaking, barely moving forwards. Your legs were staggering in place and the vampire was pulling you along. And just like that the tears were back - hot, burning, bursting out of your eyes like waterfalls.

“Bane, I am sorry.” You sniveled pitifully, trying to soften the blow. You didn’t even want to imagine what was going through the vampire’s head right now - just what tortures he had in store for you since you had failed, and you were undeniably his now. His to abuse, punish or forgive - and you were begging for the latter. “I was stupid, I shouldn’t have tried to–”

“Tried to what, huh?” Your enemy snorted, turning back to glare at you, eyes still fully black with red lines across the orb. “Tried to escape me? Tried to run away and then what exactly?” He laughed cruelly, a twinge of mania hidden behind his condescending tone. “Get it into your thick skull already - you’re nothing without me. You’re just a weak, fragile, breakable little girl who only survived for so long because I happened to find your clumsy attempts at rebelling amusing.” He snarled, violently pushing you against a tree before reaching for your collar and just pulling until you were forced to stand on your tip-toes - and even like that you were still so tiny compared to the monster.

“T-that’s… that’s not true!” You started off, chest flushing with panic as you failed to keep him at distance. “I am not weak! I can survive on my own if you just let me!” You cried out, your head getting dizzy with humiliation. You didn’t know what hurt more - the insults or the physical force restraining you.

“Oh, of course, princess.” Bane grunted, sarcastic to the bone. His face looked completely overtaken by darkness, and a deep desire to rip into something soft and helpless. “You are so fucking strong, aren’t you? That’s why I had to save your ass twice, right? Why I had to bargain with my father’s biggest enemy? Because you’re just oh-so good at handling yourself, yeah?!” He kept taunting you, egging himself on - he found sick satisfaction in watching your little face twist in pain and regret. He wanted to hurt you the way you had hurt him when you chose to go along with the game. It was a test, and you failed tremendously.

“Go on now.” The vampire whispered at last, tone suddenly low and diabolically sinister. “Show me just how strong you are.” He barked, pinning your hands above your head in a tight aching grip. He wanted you sore - he wanted you to learn once and for all that there was no fighting this, no escaping this fate. No way out of his love and obsession for you. “Come on, little girl.” He hissed, grabbing your bloody thigh and pressing in just the right place - staring in fascination as the blood poured out, dripping into a small puddle. “Show me what you’re made of.”

“It h-hurts, Bane, please stop.” You sobbed, trying to pull your leg away - but your tormentor held it tightly against his chest. “Tsk, you’re hopeless. Can’t even handle a little pain.” He clicked his tongue playfully, but there was nothing jolly about his expression, much less the obvious bloodlust your agony seemed to fire up inside him. “Stay still, okay, pet?” The duke cooed, sharpening his teeth. “I wouldn’t want you to lose your pretty legs now.” He purred, imitating care. “But then again, maybe that’s what it’ll take to keep you with me.” A dark, guttural chuckle escaped his lips as the tips of his fangs grazed against your battered, throbbing skin.

“Bane, I am sorry!” You whimpered, desperation tugging at your heartstrings, the voice inside your head screaming at you to do whatever it takes to leave the scene unscathed. “I am sorry, please believe me.” You let the shameful tears fall down your cheeks, leaving them red and puffy. “You were right… I need you.” You sighed heavily, biting your tongue, so close to losing your sanity you could taste the madness along with the blood. “Oh, I need you.” You repeated through wet, misty eyelashes - and the world seemed glittery and shiny again.

“Not good enough, doll.” The predator scoffed, but soon let go of your leg, opting instead for your bare neck. His fist wrapped around it, squeezing at the pulse points. “Here’s what’s going to happen. I am going to use you. I am going to make you feel dirty - disgusting even.” He tore your pants with ease, feral with need. “And I don’t want to hear a sound.” Your underwear was next to go, lost to the abyss of darkness and mud. “Today is about my pleasure and your obedience.” He took off his belt and fastened it around your sore wrists, paying little attention to your pathetic little whines.

“N-no…” You uttered weakly, shivering as your body got exposed to the biting cold. “You knew what was going to happen if I caught you, no use complaining now.” Bane reminded you with a stern look as he brashly spread your legs and wrapped them around his hips. You could feel his throbbing manhood twitch against your entrance, and you instinctively tried to hide, but your muscles didn’t move an inch.

The vampire spat on his hand, using it to stroke his cock to hardness - almost giddy at the mental image of his pre - cum painting your folds white. He shoved two rough fingers inside you, thrusting half - heartedly, and quickly pulled out - he still wanted you to feel the burn as he stretched you beyond belief. “That’s enough foreplay for a naughty, disobedient pet.” The noble remarked bitterly, pushing himself all the way inside you with two sharp moves of his hips. You didn’t have time to adjust to his massive length properly - you were forced to stay still and just take in every agonizing inch dragging against your tight channel.

“Fuck, darling, you feel like heaven.” Your enemy groaned quietly as your walls closed around his member, spasming involuntarily. “Humans… s-shit, humans say that love shouldn’t hurt but–” His grip around your throat tightened, making you choke on thin air. “I can’t help it when your pain is so fucking delicious.” He blabbered, drunk off lust, only stopping to pull out half - way and buckle into you again, tip brushing against your raw cervix and making you scream.

“Shhh.” The predator covered your mouth to muffle the sound, and his hand connected to your ass with a loud smack. “Oh, baby, your hole tightened just now.” He moaned, groping your blushing buttocks. You went white with embarrassment - this was too much for you. “I should make your ass bright red - it’s not like you don’t deserve it.”

You shook your head frantically, to which he simply grinned, amused by your fear. “Say you love me.” The vampire demanded out of the blue, voice lowering sinisterly. You opened your mouth, but the lack of air and his fingers gripping your chin made it hard to speak clearly - but the man wasn’t too concerned about your struggles. He hit you again, this time using more force. “When I tell you to do something, you fucking do it, slut.” The perverse slap of skin on skin pierced through the silence, sending you into a rabid frenzy.

“Eh wuv yh.” You mumbled in short breaths, the only thing on your mind being survival. “I can’t fucking hear you, sweetheart.” Bane jeered mockingly, enjoying the way you debased yourself to please him. After he got enough of your muffled whimpers, he finally let you breathe. “I love you. I love you. I love you, Bane.” You cried out like a broken record, fully submitting to his wicked torment. You felt his fist wrap around your locks and prepared to feel the pain - but instead he gently caressed you.

“Good girl. Such a doll for me. I am so proud of you, princess.” He kissed your sweaty forehead, wiping off your tears. “Now be a darling and stay still while I fill you up, okay?”

#yandere #yancore #male yandere #yandere oneshot #yandere smut #male yandere x reader #yandere male x reader #yandere x you #yandere oc #yandere oc x reader

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herlondonboy · 3 months

Text

metaphor, clarisse la rue

summary: nudes is a metaphor for love, but surely there are other way to express your feelings?

warnings: ITS NOT SEXUAL!!! it's 100% pg-13. DIOR IS 17, that's weird. nudes is a metaphor for love but reader doesn't get it. just says nudes a bunch. again, NOT SEXUAL.

wc: 1.1k

a/n: please tell me if this makes sense...

you share nudes when you trust someone deeply. it’s considered a high form of showing your love. allowing someone so far away to see you at your most vulnerable. it was what you did when you were in love, right?

did you understand it?

do you understand why, in a world painted with vulnerability, the exchange of nudes becomes a delicate dance of trust? each pixel, a brushstroke revealing the canvas of intimacy between two souls. as you bare your essence through the lens, it's not just skin on display; it's a testament to the trust woven into the fabric of your connection.

the subtle play of light and shadow mirrors the nuanced layers of your emotions, creating a mosaic of intimacy that transcends the physical. each shared image is a whispered promise, an unspoken pact that echoes the trust built brick by brick in the architecture of your relationship.

the digital realm transforms into a sanctuary where openness thrives, and the exchange of nudes becomes a metaphorical bridge connecting hearts. in the vulnerability of exposure, trust finds its strongest anchor, fostering a bond that withstands the test of time.

as you navigate the terrain of shared moments, the pixels become vessels of sincerity, encapsulating the essence of trust in a world where transparency is often obscured. nudes, in this verse, transcend mere visuals, becoming the language of trust that binds two souls in a symphony of shared vulnerability.

in the quiet corridors of your mind, scepticism echoes louder than the gentle whispers of trust. the metaphorical dance of nudes as a symbol of profound love seems like a concept too fantastical to grasp. as you navigate the digital landscape, you can't help but question the validity of such an intimate metaphor.

the canvas of your doubts is painted with shades of scepticism, and you find yourself hesitating at the threshold of vulnerability. the notion that sharing nudes could encapsulate the depth of love feels like a poetic exaggeration, a narrative spun by the romantic minds that may have overlooked the intricacies of real-life connections.

in the glow of your screen, you ponder the fragility of trust and whether pixels can truly translate into a language of profound emotions. the scepticism is a shield, a defence mechanism honed through years of navigating a world where trust is often elusive and fragile.

as you scroll through messages and shared images, you can't shake the nagging belief that love, true and unfiltered, transcends the digital realm. it's a sentiment anchored in tangible actions, shared experiences, and the messy, imperfect reality of human connection. nudes, you argue within yourself, can't possibly encapsulate the complexity of emotions that define genuine love.

so, no. you don’t understand it.

yet, even in your disbelief, a subtle curiosity lingers. perhaps there's a kernel of truth in the metaphor, a flicker of understanding waiting to be unearthed. as you continue to grapple with these thoughts, you find yourself at the crossroads of scepticism and the potential for a deeper understanding of the intricate dance between trust and love.

in the quiet moments of introspection, you wonder if embracing vulnerability in the digital realm could indeed be a bridge to a more profound connection.

then came along clarisse la rue.

she emerges as an unexpected muse, but your scepticism remains steadfast. the fiery connection you share with clarisse doesn't completely dissolve the doubts that linger around the metaphor of expressing love through shared nudes.

in the soft glow of your screen, your affection for clarisse grows, but you continue to believe that love transcends the digital realm. the metaphor, in your eyes, simplifies a complex spectrum of emotions into a narrow perspective. you yearn to express your love for clarisse through diverse channels, beyond the confines of shared images.

for you, love is a multi-dimensional tapestry, woven with actions, shared experiences, and genuine moments of connection. clarisse becomes the recipient of your affection, and you express your love through handwritten letters, spontaneous gestures, and the timeless art of conversation. the pixels on a screen, while a part of your journey, don't encapsulate the entirety of your feelings.

despite the depth of your emotions for clarisse, you remain unconvinced that exposing the vulnerable aspects of yourself through shared nudes is the pinnacle of trust and intimacy. your belief in the richness of diverse expressions of love becomes a testament to the complexity inherent in human connections.

you can show your vulnerability through your words.

inside the area cabin, you and clarisse found yourselves wrapped in the embrace of each other's presence. the soft rustle of leaves overhead provided a natural symphony as you both sat together, the moon casting its gentle glow upon your shared solitude.

as you stared into the distance, clarisse's voice broke the tranquil silence. "what are you thinking about?" she asked, curiosity lacing her words. the night air held a subtle chill, but the warmth of your connection created an invisible cocoon around both of you.

a thoughtful smile played on your lips, contemplating how to articulate the intricate thoughts dancing through your mind. you ended up just settling on a short, “nothin’.”

clarisse nodded, her eyes, filled with a depth of emotion, met yours. in that moment, her voice softened, carrying a weight of sincerity, "i love you infinitely."

the simplicity of those words held a profound impact, resonating with the unspoken understanding that had grown between you. a rush of warmth surged within you as you locked eyes with clarisse. in the quiet embrace of the night, you knew words were unnecessary— your hearts spoke a language more profound than any conversation could convey. than any picture could convey.

with a reciprocal smile, you reached for her hand, intertwining your fingers in a silent acknowledgement of the love that bound you together. the night seemed to stand still as the world around you faded into insignificance, leaving only the intimacy of the present moment.

"i love you too," you finally uttered, the words carrying a sense of completeness. with those three simple words, the unspoken thoughts and emotions found a voice, echoing through the stillness of the night. “i’ll love you for forever and a day.”

as the night continued its slow journey, you both lingered in each other's presence, finding solace in the depth of your connection. the world outside melted away, leaving only the shared heartbeat and the whispered promises of love exchanged beneath the celestial canopy. in the quietude of the night, you revelled in the beauty of a love that needed no explanation— it simply existed, profound and infinite.

in your own way.

#clarisse la rue x y/n #clarisse my beloved #clarisse x reader #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse x you #clarisse pjo #clarisse la rue #elijah writes #does this make sense #please reblog

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