Qui-Gon: *on his first night with Padawan Kenobi after his older padawans convinced him he needed a new baby so he’d bother someone else* Alright, now I think it’s bedtime. I know it’s a bit earlier than usual but you have a whole new set of classes to switch to tomorrow so we have to get up early.
Obi-Wan: *is only 11, is fine with more sleep* Okay, Master! *wanders off to get in his pajamas*
Qui-Gon: *making a pot of sleepy tea*
Obi-Wan: *comes back in jammies looking confused*
Qui-Gon: What’s wrong, Padawan?
Obi-Wan: I can’t find my sleepy cocoon.
Qui-Gon: …your sleeping bag? Oh, I assumed you used that for camping in the room of a thousand fountains, do you usually sleep in that at night?
Obi-Wan: ??? No? No I use it sometimes but you’re right, that’s for camping nights. I mean my sleepy cocoon?
Qui-Gon: …what is a sleep cocoon?
Obi-Wan: It’s… it’s a stretchy fabric that goes over you?
Qui-Gon: …gimme a second, I don’t think I saw anything like that in your bags.
One call to the creche later
Creche Master: Is something wrong with Padawan Kenobi settling in?
Qui-Gon: Um, he’s missing something that I don’t think I’ve seen. He called it his sleepy cocoon?
Creche Master: Oh! That went into the laundry this morning, it probably got delivered back to us, I’ll have it sent right away.
Qui-Gon: Um, I need to ask… what is a sleepy cocoon?
Creche Master: *snort* It’s an anti-grav sleeping tube. It’s a compression material so he doesn’t feel it when he starts to float in his sleep. He’s too close to the cosmic force to control it, so they give him the compression tube.
Qui-Gon: …you’re saying he disobeys gravity in his sleep, so the tube makes him stop realizing it?
Creche Master: Yeah, it’s pretty important, actually. It keeps his joints in place. No cricks in his neck or dead arms if they start to fall.
Qui-Gon: Amazing. A straight jacket for his cosmic force abilities. I adore it. Please send it here. He can get out of it on his own, right?
Creche Master: Oh course, it’s just pressure, not actually being tied up.
Qui-Gon: Delightful. I’ll get him extras for off planet missions.
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You mind writing a little Johnny Slaughter thing where the reader is southern, too? Not from Texas, but maybe from a whole nother state like Louisiana or Mississippi. Like, *really* southern- thick drawl, sassy attitude n everything.
If it's not too much to ask, could the reader first start out as a victim? But the thing is, they're not really one to mess with. They're witty, quick, and honestly a bit of an asshole. They're worried about themselves- going as far as to sacrifice the other survivors to ensure their own survival. Maybe even off one themselves, quickly realizing that they like killing just as much as the rest of the family. Love ur work!
(Also, have you heard about the new Nancy leaks? I'm so excited to see her, you have no idea.)
OMG OFC WAIT THIS IS GONNA BE SO FUN!!
i love requests ongogngrij
also YES!! I love her so much!! i saw someone (i think it was creepling's post) about what Nancy would think about johnny getting a soft spot for someone and oh god the brain juice started flowing with that. i think her and johnny will def be my mains bcs ive been dying for another female family member that isnt sissy (no hate to sissy, but i tried her and she just wasnt as fun as johnny)
anyways anyways anyways, here you go! this is gonna be fluff, but if you want an nsfw part lmk and i can make that work ;) <333 hope you enjoy!!
this is gonna be kinda cheesy and cute aside from the death (whoops) but if i do an nsfw it'll be more serious. i just thought this would be a good opportunity to write a jaw-dropped johnny who's like "oh shit i think im in love"
"The hell you wantin' now?!" You snarled, cracking your neck as you squared off with a man nearly twice your size. He was used to this kind of fighting back, but there was something about your volume, your genuine anger that was new to him. It was intriguing. He almost wanted to study your brain before he ate it.
"All that, and you still got caught, sweetpea. Ain't that quite the case of karma?" Johnny chuckled, casually spinning his blade in his hand. Beneath his feet was a brunette boy, far too bloodied to be anywhere near alive. You didn't know him, didn't care about him, and you were far more concerned with your own well-being than the safety of some stranger.
"Don't tell me yer gettin' cocky now, pretty boy?" You laughed. You'd wrestled unruly gators twice his size, you could manage this egotistical megalomaniac. Hell, you didn't win a championship in bull-riding for sweet talking it.
"Ain't you a little too pretty to be talkin' so much?" Johnny pouted, sulking closer with his head tilted.
"Ain't you a little too muscular to be flirtin' with yer food?" You rolled your eyes, gripping the kitchen knife tighter in your hand. He'd been so preoccupied with the random teenagers to keep an eye on you, exactly as you'd planned. While they were playing duck duck goose in the rickety basement, you'd been granted easy access to the family house. And with it, the kitchen. And with that, the knives.
Your knife was much larger than his, and it made up for the size difference between your bodies. You knew for a fact he was underestimating you, most people did. They thought you were all bark and no bite, but your bark was only really half your bite.
"I've made pie with apples mer fearsome than you," you teased. The man furrowed his eyebrows, seeming a little stung by your remark.
"The hell you from, anyways?" He shook his head, still not letting his guard down, but he seemed to be a little less on the offense.
"Louisiana, born 'n raised. Ain't you able to tell? Or you too dumb for that?"
"Drop the damn knife," Johnny demanded, and you couldn't help but laugh. Literally laugh. Not just giggle, not just chuckle, not just scoff- full-on laugh at his attempt.
"Or what? You gon' stab me with that there lil butterfly blade?" You mused, waving a hand in the air. "I'd like to see you try," you added, your tone a little lower.
Johnny opened his mouth to reply, but there was a voice from behind him, instead. "You-- You killed them! You killed all of them!" A female yelled, sounding hurt and angry. Both of you paused your bickering to turn towards an angry girl, a small pointy bone in her hand. "You killed my sister!"
Johnny scoffed, looking the girl up and down. You eased up as well, watching the interaction. "Ain't you see we was talkin'? Could'a waited your darn turn, missy," you grumbled, finding the interruption rather rude. The girl turned to you, her eyes wide.
"You-- You're that bitch at the bar! You gave my friend a concussion!" She accused, and you scoffed.
"Now, I would neva-- Oh, oh, she's yer friend? Well ain't that right rich! Small world, ain't it?" You laughed, reminiscing on the bar fight you'd gotten into after some city boy claimed he could take more rye whiskey than you. You were practically raised- hell, made out of whiskey. You had to show him up, obviously. It wasn't your fault his little girlfriend couldn't handle him losing.
It seemed as if the girl couldn't choose between who to attack, but when she finally did make up her mind, you found yourself in the hot seat. You assumed it was because she was more confident taking down you than she was taking down the man, but it was merely another case of underestimation. She swung the bone shiv towards you, and although Johnny stepped forward to do something, you had it handled.
You were the last woman who needed a man to rescue her. 'Specially against a pipsqueak like this chick was. As she rushed forward, you drove the kitchen knife directly into the girls gut. You weren't sure what possessed her to make such a foolish move as to charge at a woman with a knife, but it made for an easy means of defense. The brunette gurgled as blood splattered onto your mouth, hitting your cheek as she fell over your arm, eventually collapsing.
You twisted the knife out of the girls gut, reaching up and wiping the blood off of your cheek-- or, trying to, anyways, but you only really managed to smear it on your face. You scoffed in irritation, wiping the blood off on your shirt, and doing the same with the knife. After all, you didn't want to risk damaging the blade from the blood. It seemed like a good quality vegetable slicer.
With a simple clearing of your throat, you shook the girl off of your leg, looking back at your opponent. He was frozen in place, his eyebrows furrowed and his face contorted in a mix of confusion and disgust. "Now, where was we at? Them city girls just ain't got no manners. Momma neva raised 'em right," you complained, giving the kitchen knife a once-over before looking back at Johnny.
He blinked, remaining silent.
"You still home, or you gone out to get groceries?" You frowned, confused as to why he wasn't responding. You snapped your fingers and swung your weight onto one leg, placing your free hand on your hip. "Mister muscles? You missin' yer brain?"
"Who are you?"
You chuckled, shaking your head. "I was merely defendin' myself. Ain't nuthin' special 'bout it. Now, where's we at? You still wanna go, pretty boy?"
Johnny licked his lips, pulling his head back. He tucked his knife into his pocket, and a small smile spread over his face. "You wanna go out sometime?"
"Kidnappin' and threatenin' a woman ain't no way to get 'em in yer bed," you scolded, tilting your head. "I know yer mama's taught you better'n that. Ain't she?"
"You like rye whiskey?"
You smirked. "That's more like it. Count me in."
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Before the year ends, I want to say, thank you for being part of my 2023.
Anyway let us get to the main event.
I secretly did a new years thanks gift for ten of my HXH mutuals 🤭 Just a thanks for being part of my 2023!
1. Shoot is for @lostsoul07b
2. Machi is for @ayellowapple
3. Killua is for @chrollobestsimp
4. Chrollo is for @chrollosbiggeststan
5. Franklin is for @tsuangi-blog
6. Shaiapouf is for @autistic-shaiapouf
7. Phinks is for @pawphin
8. Feitan is for @feitan-portors-wife
9. Colt is for @scremmy-screm-scremmington
10. Gon is for @fireolin (I wasn't sure who you like so I just looked through your Tumblr, and you post Gon a lot!)
To all my hxh moots (and other moots), you guys are amazing and I love talking to all of you. Just remember my dms are always open!
Anyway I should probably go to sleep. Hope you guys enjoy <3
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Obi-Wan: Will you just take your damn hip meds already! Force, it’s easier to get Anakin to take his vitamins, and he’s ten!
Qui-Gon: *waving his cane at Obi-Wan threateningly* Poison! It’s all poison!
Obi-Wan: Oh my god. You’re turning into your master and grandmaster.
Qui-Gon: Take that back!
Obi-Wan: Take your pills and I’ll consider it.
Qui-Gon: *glares him down while taking his meds*
Obi-Wan: *cheekily* Aww, see, you’re just more like them now. They also take their meds when I bribe them.
Qui-Gon: Disowned. I’m disowning you. Get out.
Obi-Wan: Nah, I’m making you soup. Sit down, you can cuddle with Ani when he gets back from classes.
Qui-Gon: *is suitably bribed by grandpadawan cuddles, as all masters can be* I do this under duress.
Obi-Wan: That’s good enough for me.
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