#tbs fanfic

[reneeluv154]

Frostbite

Hope you enjoy🤍🤍🤍

In this imagine Newt finds out you have frostbite and takes care of you.

(More on my profile if you like this.)🫶🏼🫶🏼

I was cold, so cold but I wouldn’t let the others know, we had been walking in the scorch for weeks, although I wouldn’t call it the scorch anymore. It was cold, cold enough to make your lips blue and your skin crack and bleed. Newt tried to offer me his gloves when it first started getting cold two days ago but I denied them, instead wrapping them up in my sock’s.

Now the sock’s were just to hide my gruesome frostbite rather than keep them warm. “Guys, let’s stop here, we’ve been waking for far too long.” I couldn’t agree with Minho more, the blisters on the back of my heels and my toes making it to where I could barely walk.

“Y/n are you okay?” Thomas asked wearily before watching me stumble to the ground. “Woah hey.” Thomas tried to catch me but I hit the ground with him and Newt on either side of me. I began to weep which then turned into sob’s of anger. I punched the ground, “I’m fucking done! Do you hear me!” I screamed out as loud as I could, causing a vicious pain to shoot through my head. Everyone was crouched down forming a circle around me, fear and worry plastered on their faces.

“Hey, take a breath Y/n.” Newt was calm with a comforting hand on my back, the other on the sand, trying to keep from slipping. I violently sucked in air never fully finishing a breath. I truly couldn’t breathe. I looked at him with panic in my eyes as I tried to breathe, tears still rolling down my cheeks. “Okay, everyone back up.” His voice was stern enough so they understood but calm enough to not scare me. He gently grabbed my face.

“You’re gonna be okay. Focus on my heartbeat alright?” He grabbed my hand, placing it on his chest gently, leaving me to feel the calm, steady beating of his heart. After a few minutes, my breathing slowed, and my tears were gently wiped by his simple calloused hands. “You're okay.” He whispered, bringing me into a tight hug. I believe more for him than for me. He knew I never liked hugs. Although I had always wanted one from him, I hugged him back knowing that’s what he needed at the moment. I didn’t want to let go but loosened my grip leaving him to let go.

“Thomas, help me walk her over to that building.” He nodded over to what was more like a small shack a few feet away. So with Thomas on my left and Newt on my right we carefully walked over to the shack, taking a few minutes to settle down. I sat on a small crate while the others cleared spots to sit and sleep for the night. I was staring at the ground when Newt came, sitting down beside me, offering me a cup with something in it. Not bothering to zone back in, I shook my head.

“It’ll warm you up.” He said, setting it by my foot on the ground and kneeling in front of me. “Can you take these off for me?” He asked gently, laying a hand on top of mine. I finally zoned back in still not looking directly at him but carefully taking the socks off my hands trying not to let the fabric pull on the cracked skin.

His eyes widened when he saw the purple and blue, bloody knuckles and fingertips. ‘Fry, can you make a fire real quick?” He asked, not taking his focus off of my hands. “Already on it, Newt.”

“Why didn’t you tell someone Y/n?” He asked gently, trying to warm my hands with his own as well as blowing on them.”I don’t know.” I was quiet, barely even audible. “My feet are pretty bad too.” The look he gave me was the sweetest yet saddest thing I had ever seen. “They don’t have frostbite, just lots of blisters.” He nodded. “Go ahead and take your shoes off, the cold should make them feel a little better.”

I nodded, taking my shoes off while he went and grabbed a thin blanket we had stolen from W.I.C.K.E.D. wrapping it around my shoulders. He was right, the cold felt good on my hot blistered feet. “Here, let’s go sit by the fire.” He handed me the hot cup making my hands sting but I knew that meant it was helping. I was caught slightly off guard when he picked me up and carried me to another crate, this one close by the fire, my feet still being cooled off by the patch of cement underneath me.

I decided to sit on the ground closer to the fire. Newt came and sat on the crate behind me, his legs on either side of me. “Newt?” I asked and received a small hum while he set down his cup which I learned was just hot water, and started to play with some strands of my hair. “Is it okay if I just give up?”

“Give up?” He questioned. “Yeah, If I just quit trying to make it out alive.” I was ashamed of asking such a question but I knew he wouldn’t judge me. He grabbed both my shoulders leaning in close to my ear. “Y/n you can not give up, I won’t for one second let you believe that you can give up because I would never let you do such a thing.” And for the first time in a long time, a small smile made its way onto my lips. It felt so good to smile, especially with someone like Newt.

Around an hour later he had braided my hair and wrapped up my hands now everyone was getting ready for sleep. “Where are you sleeping, love?” He hadn’t called me that since the first time I came to the glade but it made me feel special.

“Can I…sleep next to you tonight?” He nodded, “Of course, c’mon.” He laid out some clothes on the ground and used a jacket as a pillow. “Go on, I'll tuck you in.” He smiled, so I laid down letting him lay two blankets overtop of me, given that was all we could spare. He then laid down, a small bit of space between us. “Goodnight Y/n.”

“Goodnight Blondie.”

I woke up a tad bit cold and a bit scared. There was thunder and rain all around us. The small shack was the only thing keeping us safe and that wasn’t promising. I moved over to where Newt was lying and rested my head on his shoulder, he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me closer. “Are you okay?” He whispered, his voice still sleepy making me blush. “Yeah, I’m a little cold but more scared than anything.” Just then lightning struck close making me jump. “Shhh it’s okay. I’m here, I’ll keep you safe I promise.” He rubbed my back and gave me a small kiss on the head now wrapping both arms tightly around me. Humming a small song, which soon put me to sleep.

#newt imagine #tmr newt #newt #newtmas #tbs #tbs fanfic #tbs imagine #tbs smut #thomas brodie sangster #newt fluff #newt fanfic #newt imagines #maze runner imagine #the maze runner #maze runner #A5 Newt #A5 The Glue #artful dodger #jack dawkins #jack dawkins imagine #the artful dodger #jack dawkins smut #a5 newt #benny watts #benny watts fanfic #benny watts imagine #benny watts sex #thomas sangster #artful dodger smut #jack dawkins the artful dodger

[the-fiction-witch]

The Girl In the Black dress

Media The Queens Gambit

Character Benny Watts

Couple Benny X Reader

Rating Cute 

Concept Benny’s Wife

I headed through the hotel in my a-line white dress with black piping along each seam, my fiery hair half pinned up and half allowed to cascade down to my shoulders and my ankle boots to seal my look. I knew I had to look glamorous after all it was well expected of me. I had taken a year off for myself after my Moscow victory mostly just to spend time with myself, with Jolene, up keeping the house and to mostly decide my next steps given such a victory. I have to admit I was nervous about this weekend, not just about returning after my absence, not that it worried me too much. But about… seeing him. I knew I would and honestly I had been avoiding him. After our… heated discussion before I left for Moscow, I was worried about him, about us even if there really was much of an us.  When he called me up in Moscow there was no one's voice I wanted to hear more than that of benny watts, and he granted me that and I am ever grateful for his assistance. But, my hopes were dashed when I stepped off that plane. I landed into Kennedy airport in New York as it was the best to fly in to come from Moscow and all, I hoped and I suppose expected for me to get off the plane grab my bags and like a terrible movie he'd be waiting for me with a hug and a kiss, he'd take me back to that dirty little basement we'd go over the chess games in ludicrous detail and we'd end the night satisfied in each other's arms, however, that didn't happen.

No one was at the airport for me. I called his phone from the lounge but no answer. So I gritted my teeth and paid for a cab to the Brooklyn basement and yet I found it empty. Luckily I wasn't waiting long, as by the time I reached the sidewalk his beetle pulled up. I smiled and for a moment assumed we must have just missed each other and we'd laugh about it over a game of speed chess tonight. I rather foolishly believed that everything was fine, and good, and had returned to his things when I left New York before everything happened. But I was wrong.

"What? No, I don't have a hotel I assumed I'd just -"

"So you just assumed I'd let you stay? Without so much as a call?"

"Okay sorry I didn't call I just thought I could stay with you"

"I don't really think that's a good idea. Do you?" He says heading down to his apartment not even so much as offering me a coffee.

At the time I was so angry at him but I had since mellowed and come to understand a bit better. I kinda assumed I could just come back to Benny as I had to Harry, abandoned him, left him hanging and then be welcomed with open arms when I came back but no, not with benny. We had barely spoken since and when we did he was clear they were social calls, to talk chess and friends. No, I miss you's. No begging to come to New York. Nothing. It was like before our time together. I understood why I had bruised him before Moscow. And that's not something Benny forgives easily. Even if part of me was still hopeful we could rekindle our New York snuggles and the sweet affection that came with it.

I reached the main lounge area for the hotel where everyone was congregated having a drink before the first games at eleven. Everyone was smoking, drinking and lounging about as usual. I didn't drink, I didn't want to this early not if this tournament would be long lasting as it usually was. I scanned the room at my competition while also semi-scanning for the goth cowboy.

But I heard that family cocky tone "Harmon"

"Watts" I smirked turning on my heels to see him and there he loomed. Stood on the carpet in his usual black shoes however they were slightly different they didn't have that layer of dust and scuff across them, they looked as if they where polished an hour ago his dark blue jeans hugged him close, his leather belt tightly around him with his holster down his thigh his knife sat there as always, his dark green button down barely buttoned exposing his chest and silver chains, his jacket missing, his hat playfully in his hand, his hair fluffy and well fixed, his rings across his fingers and chains around his wrists, he still smelt of his cheap cologne and slightly of mahogany and leather, he looked obviously the same but cleaner, tidier, and that was strange for benny even if he still hadn't had a shave. "Been a while"

"It has. It has" he nods "you playing or observing?"

"Both I suppose" I nodded "it's nice to see you"

"Yeah nice to see you too" he cracked a small smile

"Here you are dear, I'm sorry I forgot it" a voice smiled behind him. I peeked around him as she came into view, a girl. Perhaps a year older than me I couldn't tell for sure her voice was a polite refinement. She stood a fair few inches shorter than benny even if she had a pair of black kitten heels, she wore thin sheer black tights and a tee-length black dress of a chiffon or some other type of fluid-shifting fabric that seemed to have a shift of silver when she moved, the dress flowed from a band just above her waist with two large sections of fabric going up across her shoulders however leaving from the band to her neck exposed in a rectangular opening, small sleeves that sat slightly puffed up with pleats and a similar band that went around the hem at her elbows. A silver necklace on her chest perfectly against her exposed skin. She had sweet well sculpted y/h/c curls, makeup perfectly even if used rather sparingly, she had a white handbag on a silver chain over her shoulder and a few silver bangles and bracelets around her wrists, Benny's trademark leather trench coat over her arm. He smiled so widely when he saw her wider than I think I had ever really seen him smile before

"No worries, thank you for getting it for me darling" he Cooes giving her forehead a peck showing off their height difference as even in her heels he didn't have to move down at all in fact his lips were perfectly where in line with her forehead leaving me to assume out of her heels she'd only likely be at his shoulder. He took the jacket from her slipping it and his hat on "how do I look?' he asked her

"Gorgeous" she smiled

He chuckled taking her hand in his and giving her hand a kiss "thank you, darling"

"Uhhh… introduction? Please?" I asked a little unsure what else to say given what had just unfolded In Front of me

"Course. Y/n this is Beth Harmon" he smiled

"I'm familiar" she smiled sweetly

"Beth this is y/n y/l/n"

She giggled and gave him a gentle elbow "silly boy"

"Oh right, sorry. Y/n Watts" he corrected

"Ohh uhh okay nice to meet you," I said offering my hand which she happily shook "this uhh this is news to me"

"Well it was only last month" she smiled showing her hand and her two rings both a sweet silver one with a large black diamond and the other a plain band, it was then I looked at benny and noticed he did have another ring than last I saw him.

"It's beautiful"

"Thank you"

"I hadn't heard about it"

"We kept it small. Cheap. Quick. We didn't want to wait anyway" he explained "haven't even told chess review or anything, I'm sure we'll see you," he says before the two headed off to talk with others

I couldn't help but watch them go understandably surprised. It's strange benny hadn't told me he was seeing someone let alone that he was engaged and now married. Not that I cared I mean he'd made his position clear it was just weird I guess to see him with someone else.

We had finished for today so I sat in the bar on one of the little stools trying not to watch but I found it rather impossible. It was late now; most boys had headed up to their rooms already, a few still lingered on their last drink, the bartender cleaning glasses and setting the bar up to close for the evening. The music is on low but still playing sweet songs. The lights were a little lower than they had been at the start of the night as most candles on the tables were burnt out by now and the windows were the darkness they would get. I nursed my Gibson, turning my attention to the sight I had been avoiding for what felt like hours.

To the side of the bar was a small wooden dance floor beside a large piano that of course wasn't being used. But the floor was as right in the middle under the glow of the glass chandelier they stood. Benny having set his jacket and his hat on the back of a chair at a side table leaving him in his well-shined shoes, tight jeans, his belt even if it was on a little looser now than this morning, his green button down with his sleeves rolled to his elbows and unbuttoned as always, his hands had begun on her waist but had shifted to her hips and now loosely sat in the small of her back. She wore the same dress as this morning but her curls slowly falling loose, and some of her make-up disappeared from this morning, her handbag was on the table beside benny's jacket and hat, she had begun their dancing in her heels but they had since been removed and now hung from her fingers as her arms rested on Benny's shoulders and around his neck so her heels hung down his back. They were dancing. It began as almost a full waltz at the beginning of the night but has slowed and become the gentle swaying it now was. The two often smiling, giggling and muttering little things to each other inaudible to anyone but them, but you could tell they were chatting and talking from their changes and reactions. The music was low but still enough they could dance.

I couldn't help watching them, feeling strange about it. I thought I wouldn't care and I don't but… seeing him with her, smiling, giggling, being so happy and playful. I'd never seen benny like that, I didn't think it was in his calculated chess brain's nature to be like that. I guess… he just wasn't with me. As they shifted for a moment she disappeared behind him and when the body came around the other side for a moment I saw myself in her place. Perhaps I would be if he had come to Moscow with me. But even if that might possibly make me happy, would Benny be so happy now if that's how things had been? I felt awful at that moment that my selfishness could Rob Benny of his happiness.

She gave his cheek a soft kiss, making him smile rubbing his nose against hers before capturing her lips in a kiss so much they both tightened their grips on each other as they kissed.

"We should get to bed," he told her

"One more song benny, please" she begs moving a hand down his chest

"One more song" he smiled taking her heels from her and sitting them on the floor beside the chair with his jacket and hat the two smiled and got closer so she could lay her head on his chest and he rested his chin on her head often pressing little kisses to her hair, and I smiled watching them it was so sweet and I did really feel happy for him. As they danced they turned in such a way that her back was to me and he looked up seeing me he moved a hand from her back to give me a little wave so I smiled and raised my glass back. And soon enough the song was over they gathered their things and came to the bar,

"You go on up I'll square up and be up in a sec," he told her she nodded giving him a kiss before she headed out and off towards the elevator as he paid up for the few drinks they had tonight

"She seems like a really nice girl"

He chuckled "she is."

"One more?" I offered

"Alright." He says sitting down on the stool beside me as I ordered each of us each a blue ribbon "you're still mad at me aren't you?"

"No. Not really?"

"You should see your face from this side Harmon"

"I'm not mad," I told him "just surprised is all"

"You don't like her. I take it?" He asks sipping his beer

"I met her this morning can't form an opinion that fast"

"Can't you?"

"She seems nice benny," I said sipping my drink

"Nice?"

"Yeah, nice"

"And out come the cat claws"  he laughed

"I'm serious" I complained giving him a shove "I mean it benny, I'm happy for you really"

"Really? Cause kinda looks like your mad"

"I'm not mad. Really. Why expect me to be jealous?"

"I gave her fair warning you might be." He says "I know what you're like."

"Hence the dress I assume" I smirked sipping my drink and he gave me a look so I glanced down to my own chest

"No, she wears stuff like that most of the time"

"she really is your wife" I laughed

"We are similar in that regard" he nods "I have to keep stealing my jacket back from her"

"That's just having a girlfriend benny, we steal everything"

"I know" he chuckled

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Didn't think you really cared? You call me to talk chess didn't think you cared what was happening in my life" he says sipping his drink

"I cared," I answered, "when did you meet then?"

"Believe it or not the day before you came home from Moscow"

"Really?"

"Yeah. After calling you in Moscow I was pretty damn broke. And because life loves kicking me my washer blew up. Had to take all my laundry down to the laundromat, I put a load on and got comfy and I looked over and saw this girl playing solitaire. I went over and asked if I could join her and we played no-bet poker for hours with breaks to move our laundry around. That was y/n."

"That's sweet"

"I was pretty fucked after what happened Beth I won't lie. I thought… doesn't matter what I thought. But when you went off to Moscow without me it broke me, the moment I hung up that phone I cried because of you. I want you to know that. It took me until I called you to even face the idea of speaking to you again and I stand by helping you. But I knew when we hung up I was done. I wasn't going to be some doormat waiting for you to get back and decide if you wanted me. I drew a line. And just so happens I met y/n just after." He explained

"I was only gone a year, and you're already married?"

"It sounds so corny but… you know. I think I knew by our second poker match that I didn't want to let her go. The day you came back to New York,"

"You never answered the phone, why?"

"I was out. On our first date. Three months later she moved in, and four months after that I proposed, married a month ago" he explained flexing the fingers on his hand a little where he had his wedding ring

"Little Fast"

"... It's a strange feeling Beth, you almost don't realize how much is missing until you find who completes you and the moment you find them it's like a light just turns on and the moment they leave whether it's for a second or a year you know you can't go on without them. She brings me a joy I didn't know existed. Sorry it's hard to explain"

"No. I get it." I nodded "I am sorry benny, for how I treated you"

"Thanks," he says sipping his drink

"Guess if I hadn't you and y/n may never-"

"No." He snapped "it's cute to look back in hindsight and claim it was for the better, but that doesn't excuse the hurt you caused. And you have to live with that Beth."

"Sorry"

"It's fine"

"I've never seen you this happy before"

"She completes me. She has endless patience for my stupid rambling. The most support and kindness you could ever ask for. But Enough of a kick to keep me on track. She's everything I wanted and everything I need." He explained "and you know as a bonus fucking gorgeous"

"I did notice" I chuckled

"You should see her out the dress"

"You sure this marriage wasn't what the other head’s thinking?"

"No. I love her, I don't just wanna sleep with her. The body is just a bonus." He laughed "no we didn't have sex till our wedding"

"Whoa. Impressive restraint"

"Tell me about it. Try sleeping next to that for six months without thinking about it. But no not till we got married, she was… innocent anyway"

"Ohh" I chuckled

"I taught her everything she knows" he smirked "I am a fucking amazing teacher"

"An amazing fucking teacher" I laughed

"Both" he laughed

"I didn't know you could dance?"

"Neither did I." he laughs "But she loves it, so I learnt"

"She teach you?"

"Somewhat, I did get myself a small crash course from the learning centre after out fourth date"

"why?"

"I may have dropped her. and broke a table"

"Ohh dear"

"She thought it was funny. I really enjoy dancing with her seeing her smile and hearing her giggle in my ear"

"You'll have to give me a dance one day"

"I'll have to ask my wife's permission for that" he chuckled

"she keeps you on that short of a lead?"

"No, just think it would be polite to ask my wife if she'd be okay with me dancing with you"

"That's very sweet, considerate" I smiled "I'm thrilled, Benny, really. She seems like the perfect Mrs Watts. And it's amazing to see you so happy"

"Thanks, Beth." He smiled finishing his drink "see you tomorrow"

"See you tomorrow" I smiled

He fixed his hat before he headed off in the same direction as y/n went leaving me alone with the rest of my drink.

#the queen's gambit #thequeensgambit #queens gambit #The Queens Gambit #benny #benny x reader #benny fanfic #benny smut #benny imagine #benny watts #benny watts smut #benny watts imagine #tqg benny watts #bennywatts #bennywattssmut #tqgbennywatts #benjamin #Benjamin Watts #tbs fanfic #tbs au #tbs #tbs smutty #tbs smut #tbs sex #TBS Imagine #tbs imagines #thomas #thomas sangster #thomas brodie sangster #thomassangster

[itrin]

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: The Bright Sessions (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Damien (The Bright Sessions)/Owen Thompson | Agent Green Characters: Damien (The Bright Sessions), Owen Thompson | Agent Green, Ellie Wadsworth Additional Tags: Canon Divergence, canon is stuffed into a box and thrown off a cliff, damien is desperate for affection but will bite the hand that gives it, good thing owen has oven mitts, convenient rain, Awkward Conversations, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, stalking as a form of flirting ig, Rare Pairings, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, violin, Touch-Starved Summary:

Damien is – was – always in control. Until now, of course, when he had no control. Not over anyone, and least of all over himself, over anything that matters. For now, sure, but maybe forever.

No control, no knowledge; out of the loop and in the dark. And the last fucking thing Damien needed was some AM heart-eyed dickhead pitiying him, lying to him, lying to him–

It’s fine, though. It is going to be fine, because Damien is still in control; maybe not over anything that matters, but he can be in control over this. No…he can take control over this. . . or, damien gorham is a wet street cat hissing on the side of the road and owen picks him up by the scruff of his neck and gives him a pat

#the bright sessions #damien gorham #damien the bright sessions #owen thompson #agent green #tbs #tbs fanfic

[punksrespectpronouns]

The thrilling finale of my touch-starved Oliver fic is live!

#banquo rambles #oliver ritz #autistic oliver ritz #tbs fanfic #tct #the college tapes

[newtkive]

pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]

ch. 4 - agoraphobia and burger king on 5th street

summary: a personal experience provides a way for newt to connect to y/n.

warnings: strong language, mental health talk, depression, medication (its my literal prescription i mention oops this is like a self insert fr), mutual pining, none really.

➥ m.list

--

THE GLADE

[ 10:52 am ]

y/n: it’s official yall

drugs saved my life

tommy: huh??

minho: same

newt: wow, i’ve never seen your name on my screen before 12 pm

y/n: shut the hell up bitch

newt: ouch, touchy

minho: woah

touchy 👀

are yallll..?

y/n: you’re sick

tommy: are we going to ignore the drugs statement??

like hello are u ok ??

newt: you’re annoying minho

minho: yea <3 😊

notice how they didn’t say no

y/n: you guys just don’t understand how a girl like me needs beauty sleep..

and no we aren’t

gally: all that beauty sleep and ur still walking around with that mug.. yikes.

y/n: 😑

i hate you i haete you i dhateoyifu

minho: great she’s having a fit

y/n: no one cares about me

and you think i’m ugly

this is so sick

and you don’t even care that i’m on drugs

☹️😭😭😭😭 done.

newt: no one said that love

gally that was rude

minho: BRUHHHHH

here she goes

tommy: I CAREE????????

DO I NEED TO COMEGET YOU????

y/n: yes 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

before i do something crazy 😭😭💣

minho: THE BOMB IS WILD

tommy: stay where you are

i have your location

newt: uhhh

y/n: pause what

minho: tommy why would you admit to that

tommy: im On my way! what’s the issue

sorry autocorrect

y/n: WHY DO YOU HAVE MY LOCATION????

gally: can you guys shut the fuck up

minho: the drama queen is here 😍

gally: stop

alby: I have it on Life360, I imagine Thomas does as well. In fact I have all of your locations.

y/n: oh

i forgot about that app..

minho: i didn’t. i get a notif that newt’s phone is at 5% all the goddamn time

even tho he said he deleted it

newt: just turn it off then

i redownloaded it don't track my app intake

minho: no it makes me feel less lonely

y/n: awwwww

idk how you do that newt

newt: do what?

y/n: not charge your phone

if my phone gets below like 15% then the monsters will get me

tommy: omg me tooo 🥹

newt: i was about to say you sound like tommy.

tommy: don’t say that!

she’s on drugs i don’t want to sound like an addict 😔

newt: she isn’t on drugs thomas

tommy: she literally said she is newt :/

5 mins and i’m there y/n

y/n: are you actually fr

thomas..

we live very far away sweetie

newt: i mean

if you were in trouble you don’t think we’d come get you?

tommy: ^^

but life360 says you’re at the burger king on 5th

minho: no that’s me LOOOL

y/n: NEWTTT ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

tommy: wtf

i’m the one who’s coming to get u

why does he get the credit

minho: no tommy you’re coming to get me

tommy: oh yippee i get to see my friend 🤗

newt: ewwwwww

y/n: EWWWWW

tommy: OH STOP IT

y/n: why burger king of all places min

minho: why drugs of all things y/n

gally: she’s not doing drugs are you guys fuckin insane

y/n: yes i am

it’s 10 mg of fluoxetine 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ONCE A DAY!!!!!!

IM ADDICTED

newt: no you aren’t, 10 mg is the smallest dose

minho: told y’all she was on drugs

y/n: ???????

minho: over the year

you’re too hyper to not be on some crack shit

tommy: oh stop that’s not nice.

newt: it’s not drugs like that minho stop.

tommy: uhoh he brought out the . at the end

y/n: it’s just for anxiety cuz i can’t leave the house without going into a breakdown

minho: she got acrophobia

told y’all she was mental

newt: what the fuck are you talking about

tommy: oh i know that word

fear of spiders 🕷️

minho: wtf no

fear of outside

y/n: i’m not afraid of outside

newt: that’s agoraphobia you fucking dumbass

y/n: 😍

i did NOT mean to send that lol oops

newt: ??

oh, okay

minho: when he’s a know it all 😍

when she’s agoraphobic 😍

y/n: when he’s at burger king on 5th because he has no food in his fridge and can only afford a $1.99 whopper with the coupons from the newspaper 😍😍😍😍

minho: 😒😑

newt: LMFAOOOO

GOOD THAT

minho: british people be so annoying

saying shit like gormless minger and good that be sooo real rn

newt: i have never said gormless minger in my whole 26 years of life.

y/n: you just did bro

newt: call me bro again

y/n: bro

brosive

brother

stepbro

minho: laughed until i saw the last msg :/

newt: 😑

y/n: ok youre the perverts

minho: cant you take your prozac and turn back to normal now

y/n: so you DO know what it is..

gally: wym 'back to normal' like there was smth before this??

y/n: real i been like this for life

tommy: i got whopper and two large fries and mozzarella sticks

newt: wow

y/n: wow just call him a fatass newt.

newt: i would never, stop

y/n: 2 large fries is kinda crazy tho

tommy: i have to get enough to share with my friend

minho

gally: surprised you have friends

tommy: yeah you are not one.

gally: RUDE?

y/n: WELL LMFAO

minho: i literally already ate also gally ur not my friend either

newt: same

alby: same

gally: well why tf am i in here

y/n: well you're my friend!

gally: great.

y/n: not with that attitude..

tommy: y/n you're ok though right??

y/n: yes tommy im fine sweetie

go eat your food

tommy: okay i wish you could share these fries with me

y/n: me too :(

minho: i don't

big back would eat em all

y/n: i actually hate you

__

newt

[ 11:45 am ]

newt: hey

y/n: hiii :D whats up??

newt: idk why but this feels like secretly texting you across the room at a party

y/n: actually tho

picture me giving u a look from across the room

newt: you would blow our cover immediately

i just wanted to let you know if you needed any like,, advice or something with your new medicine i'm here for you. i take the same stuff on top of lexapro

y/n: oh really?

newt: yeah i do

y/n: newt :( thank you

i am a bit nervous to start it tbh

newt: i understand, i was too

but hopefully it'll change things for the better

y/n: i hope so

i didn't realize you dealt with anxiety n stuff

newt: more than you know

you aren't the only one and you aren't alone w it

y/n: you're sweet newt, thank you

newt: don't mention it :))

sorry the smiley was creepy

y/n: lmao no i like it

if you need to talk or anything too i’m always here

newt: yeah?

y/n: of course ): you’re my pookie

newt: one day you gotta let go of that word lmao

y/n: but you love it tho

newt: you tell yourself that

actually are you free rn?

y/n: yeah! i’m just about home what’s up?

newt: i’m bored so pick up the phone

y/n: NEWT LMAO

ok fine 😒

#the maze runner #the maze runner fanfic #tmr #tmr newt #newt x reader #newt imagine #the maze runner newt x reader #the maze runner newt imagine #the maze runner newt #thomas brodie sangster #thomas brodie-sangster #thomas brodie sangster x reader #dylan o'brien #reader insert #text au #modern au #newt x reader au #fanfic #the maze runner imagine #newt tmr #thomas brodie-sangter x reader #hi #idk #reader is funny #tbs #tbs x reader #tbs imagine #thomas the maze runner

[stargirlfics]

The Gentleman Fic Series Masterlist

an Alfred Pennyworth x Black Dancer!Reader story

Series Summary: Two chance encounters turn into something quite unexpected the longer you spend around a certain Englishman

Series Warnings: 18+ ONLY, set after the events of The Batman film, age gap - reader is mid/late 20’s or 30’s (up to your preference), mentions of stalking/being followed, canon typical violence, death, protective!Alfred, fluff + angst, smut: PiV, oral (both receiving), light bondage later in series, Alfred is a soft dom in this! Light impact play, light choking kink and daddy kink later in series

*reader is written as and described as black in this but anyone is welcome and encouraged to read!

[Series Playlist]

Chapter One - The Gentleman

Chapter Two - Sugar Plum

Chapter Three - After Hours

Chapter Four - Do I Wanna Know?

Chapter Five - Éclosion

Chapter Six - Tremble

Chapter Seven - This Heart of Mine — coming soon!

#amalia writes #the batman!alfred pennyworth #the batman 2022 #alfred pennyworth x reader #alfred pennyworth x black reader #alfred pennyworth x you #alfred pennyworth x woc #alfred pennyworth smut #alfred pennyworth fluff #tb!alfred pennyworth #alfred pennyworth imagine #alfred pennyworth fanfiction #alfred pennyworth x fem!reader #alfred pennyworth angst #alfred pennyworth fanfic #alfred pennyworth

[sailor-aviator]

Mouse

Story: Two Birds

Love Interest: Jake "Hangman" Seresin & Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw

Growing up in the rural Midwest means polite smiles, impeccable manners, and very little exposure to the darker sides of life beyond small town poverty.

Mouse grew up in small-town America, going off to college at eighteen and then inevitably getting a job upon graduation. Seeking change in her life, she takes the drastic step of moving to New York City without too much of a plan. She gets a job at a local bakery, even finding a roommate that she becomes very close with. Her roommate works as a dancer at an upscale club downtown, one that Mouse begin to frequent during off hours as her roommate is very forgetful. What Mouse doesn't know is that the club, and most of the city, is owned by two crime bosses, the heads of the Dagger Syndicate.

A chance encounter at the club has put her in their lines of sight, and Mouse is exposed to a whole new world. Only problem now is the rival crime syndicate that's put a bounty on her head.

A/N: So excited to share Mouse (or "Trouble" as the boys like to call her) with you all, and so excited for this series!!

#jake hangman seresin #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin x you #jake hangman seresin fanfic #jake hangman seresin fanfiction #jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin x you #jake seresin fanfic #jake seresin fanfiction #hangman #hangman x reader #hangman x you #hangman fanfiction #hangman fanfic #top gun hangman #hangman top gun #two birds #tb #mafia au #mafia!au

[forgetminot]

Hey! Hope you are doing okay 🩷

I have a little request (if you feel comfortable, of course). I would love for you to write about Arthur Morgan x F!reader (Or GN), both are former lovers and they are reminiscing their time together. You can make it romantic, anyway you want. 🩷

Distant Memory

✿ Arthur Morgan x F!reader ✿

Warnings : TB Arthur (based in chapter 4 after he has been diagnosed- iM sOrRy) angst, fluff, past relationship, use of y/n.

Authors Note : I took the 'anyway you want' and rolled with it. I loved writing this thank you for the request queen 💙💙

Summary : You run into a familiar face and spend some time catching up and reminiscing.

You didn't expect him to look so... fragile- he wasn't well and you could see just from a quick glance in his direction. You turn around suddenly, retracing your steps as you follow behind the man and place your hand gently on his shoulder.

"Arthur?" He turns, slightly startled as you call out his name; you take in his appearance, his face was sunken and his complexion sallow. "It is you-"

"Y/n?" He speaks your name so softly you hardly hear him say it. "What are you doin' here?" He questions, motioning his hand to the busy streets of Saint Denis.

"Just visiting, it's nice to get away from the country now and then." You smile gently. "It's good to see you." You whisper.

"It-" He brings his hand to his mouth, coughing harshly. "-It's nice to see you." He responds as he wipes his hand against his shirt.

"You don't look well, Arthur..." You frown, taking his arm and stepping to the side of the street to stay clear of the bustling road. "How are you, how's the gang?" You ask. You knew little of the gang, only hearing stories from Arthur and seeing pictures of their faces littered on wanted posters.

"The gang-" he chuckles. "The gang has seen better days and, well, so have I." He sighs, leaning on his right side against the brick wall.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't be, was going to happen sooner or later." He replies bluntly.

"What happened?" You ask.

"How much time you got?" He asks back.

"I'm not going anywhere." You smile faintly. "Would you like to go somewhere more quiet? It would be nice to catch up after all these years." You suggest.

"Uh, yeah, we can do that." He nods. "Do you have a horse?" He questions as he whistles loudly, watching as his horse trots towards you both.

"I took the train here." You respond.

He lifts himself onto his steed and holds out his hand for you, which you gladly take; he pulls you up and you sit behind him, placing your hands carefully on either side of his waist. He tells you to hold on tight as you both make your way out of the city, dodging people and wagons as you go. You ride in silence for a while and you watch as the landscape changes from thick, murky swamps to the vivid greens of the plains.

"This should do." Arthur says as he pulls tightly on the reins, bringing the horse to a complete stop. He gets down from the horse first and offers his hand once again for you to take.

"Thank you." You smile kindly as your feet touch the ground.

"Course, no problem." He nods and heads towards a small lake, sitting on the ground a few feet from it; you follow after him and sit beside him, grateful that the grass is dry and not caked in mud. "How's your family?"

"Oh- My mother passed not too long ago." You sigh. "She was sick, went in her sleep."

"I'm sorry to hear that, she was always a nice woman."

"She still was, until the end." You smile faintly. "My Pa is well, still strong after everything." You laugh. "I know the both of you never saw eye to eye."

"He never liked the whole outlaw thing." Arthur grins.

"So, what happened?" You ask, referencing back to the gang.

"What hasn't happened?" He scoffs. "Job back in Blackwater went bad, real bad- Dutch shot some innocent girl and he ain't been right since." He sighs. "Then we lost Sean, always thought I'd celebrate the day that annoying boy left." He chuckles lightly. "He was like a brother to me..."

"I'm sorry to hear that." You respond kindly.

"Lost Hosea and Lenny not too soon after that, bank job in Saint Denis went horribly wrong."

"So, that's what all the wanted posters are about." You acknowledge. "Hosea- you used to mention him all the time."

"He was a better father than my real one ever was." He hums. "Always told me I was an idiot for not running off with you."

You giggle. "I can't imagine how that would have turned out."

"Would have been nice." He replies suddenly, surprised by his own response.

"I think you're right." You beam.

"You do?" He questions, coughing lightly.

"You were always good to me, Arthur. Always looked out for me, made me feel safe." You smile sadly. "Maybe in another life, we would have made it work..."

"If i didn't have people to look after I-"

"I know." You cut him off. "You were always so loyal, it's one thing I loved about you."

"Wasn't loyal enough to you." He sighs.

"I always knew that the gang came first, even if you didn't want to say it out loud." You place your hand over his. "They're family."

"You could have been family too." He mumbles, taking his hand from yours as he coughs roughly into it.

You frown, moving your hand to his back. "You're sick, ain't you?" You say, already knowing the answer.

"I'm dyin'" He laughs coldly. "Got tuberculosis, beating a guy for a few bucks."

"Oh, Arthur..." You rub your hand up his back slowly. "I- don't know what to say- I'm sorry." You sniff sadly.

"Dont be, I deserve every last second of it." He states bluntly.

"Don't say that!" You scold.

"I ain't the same man you fell in love with." He responds.

"Even so, no one deserves this."

"I'm a killer, Y/n." He laughs, standing up. "I hurt people, I steal from 'em too."

"There's always some good in people, Arthur. You always did good." You express, standing up to meet his eyes.

"The person you knew, he's just a distant memory." He admits.

"I don't believe that." You step closer, taking both his hands in yours. "I don't think that part of you would just disappear, Arthur."

"You don't know me no more." He shakes his head.

"I do, because the person you are talking about wouldn't have spared me a second glance: wouldn't have helped me up onto his horse and sat next to me by the lake." You grip his hands tighter. "Maybe, if you really think you have changed- you should use the time you have left to be good."

"I- I'm tryin' to help people." He sighs.

"You are a good man, Arthur Morgan." You smile softly. "And I don't think you are too different from the man I never stopped loving." You place your hand against his cheek gently.

"Wish I never left." He whispers, placing his hand on top of your small one.

"We can't change the past." You frown.

"I'll do better." He insists.

You nod, leaning up and placing a quick kiss to his cheek. "I know."

#arthur morgan #arthur morgan x reader #x reader #arthur morgan x y/n #x y/n #arthur morgan x you #x you #arthur morgan x female reader #x female reader #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #red dead redemption arthur #red dead redemption x reader #reader insert #fanfic #fanfiction #tb!arthur morgan #arthur morgan angst #arthur morgan fluff #past relationships #I want to go back in time and save this man #requests #ask and you shall receive

[idontknowreallywhy]

Estera - Ch 23 - Jump

Ok, I lied. I accidentally finished another chapter.

Have been looking forward to this one for a while 😁

What went before

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

He spotted the gap in the hedge and pulled into the small car park, stopping the car a little way away from a huddle of harnessed and helmeted people gathered at the back of a van. He’d assumed from the limited message he’d received Estera was attending some kind of social event, but this looked a lot more like an Activity of some kind… given the proximity of the sheer cliffs this part of the coastline was famous for, perhaps abseiling?

Quite chunky harnesses for abseiling though.

He couldn’t quite spot her among the group and hoped he hadn’t come to the wrong place. Pulling at the sweater to make sure it was definitely hiding the waistcoat, he left his warm but completely inappropriate tailored wool coat in the car and walked as casually as he could towards the van. One helmeted head snapped around as he crunched across the gravel and he felt a rush of relief which partly but not entirely overcame his uncharacteristic self-consciousness. She gave a tiny wave and mouthed “two minutes” before turning back to focus on the person giving instructions. Scott paused where he was and watched as the briefing seemed to finish and the group sprang into action to unload a series of tightly wrapped silk bundles from the van.

His jaw dropped. He knew what those were. Estera turned back and caught his eye and he pointed to the edge of the clifftop and raised his eyebrows disbelievingly. She nodded and grinned slightly maniacally. Then beckoned him over.

He drew alongside and murmured “I thought you weren’t a fan of heights?”

“Just airplanes” she whispered back. “This way you get the rush without needing to get into one. Just, err, don’t mention it to the school kids.”

He chuckled. “Not going to lie, I’m quite envious.”

“Don’t you do this kind of thing all the time? Given your day job?”

“Not for fun. It’s hard to enjoy the moment when someone’s trapped or injured or something and they are waiting for you.”

She looked thoughtful. “Give me a minute.”

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

“We have a rig spare though don’t we? Robin hasn’t turned up.”

“That doesn’t mean we can just let a randomer jump, Tez, you know that. He’s not done the training.”

“He’s done this kind of thing a lot, though, for his job.” She looked round to see Scott happily chatting to a couple of people and suddenly realised that maybe he wouldn’t appreciate losing his anonymity right now. So she fudged it. “He’s in… outdoor pursuits” she invented rapidly “really extreme stuff. In, uh, Australia.”

“Unless he can show me a qualification… the insurance company would string me up if something happened.”

“Isn’t there anything we can do?”

She knew the disappointment was showing on her face and the wheedling was beneath her. She wouldn’t usually push, but… she glanced back over at Scott… she had a sense that he might need this as much as she did today. Mentally slapping herself for being outrageous but ploughing ahead anyway she pulled out her best puppy dog expression and watched Gary crumble.

“He’ll have to go tandem. I’ll take him. And he needs to do the E-learning first.”

“I’m sure that would be fine!”

The stocky instructor approached Scott who stood to attention, being about 8 inches taller than Gary she could see his reaction over the shorter man’s head. Estera could guess the order of conversation from his open-book facial expressions - the grin and sparkling eyes would be in response to “you can jump”, the slight frown probably meant the news that he’d have to go tandem had been delivered and the hastily suppressed cringe was very likely indicative of worse news re the e-learning requirement. Scott nodded seriously, said something she couldn’t hear and accepted the offered tablet, immediately starting to read.

“Tez!”

She jogged over.

“When he’s finished that you brief him on the geography. And get him kitted up.” Gary looked pointedly at Scott’s very-much-not-BASE-Jump-Association-approved trousers and sighed pointedly. “At least his shoes are alright.”

Scott was sat on the footplate of the van, studiously focussed on the iPad but she was sure he blushed slightly. Gary marched off to oversee the setting up of the jump point.

“In fairness I have done far crazier things in similar trousers.”

She tried and failed to suppress a snort of laughter. “I’m sorry… I’m sure if you told him who you were he’d let you do what you liked.”

Scott smirked. “I did consider it. But… he’s not actually wrong. I don’t know any of your equipment, we do a LOT of training with ours. I don’t know the jump site and it isn’t as if I can scan it to get the data to an HUD. It would be pretty awkward if I misjudged and ended up a greasy smudge on the Devonshire coastline… given the day job.” He jerked his head in the direction Gary had disappeared in “Apparently the paperwork would ruin his week.”

Estera spluttered and he grinned up at her. “Just promise me you won’t tell a soul? I’ll never hear the end of it if Gordon or Alan find out. Anyway TEZ…” she screwed up her face at the awful nickname and he winked “aren’t you supposed to be briefing me?”

She pointed at the iPad and tapped her foot. He shrugged.

“I can take in both. Go ahead.” The last two words had a certain… commanding quality to them. Which she guessed made sense. Given the day job.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

“John. I believe there might be a Situation with Scott.”

John nearly inhaled his crème d’oursin and was halfway to his feet before his brain engaged. It was entirely possible he was catching the smotherhen from Scott. Penny had of course remained composed and asked EOS to elaborate.

“Certainly, Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward. I have been monitoring the life signs at the coastal location his rental vehicle reached. There are 16 life signs and I believe one represents Scott Tracy and another is highly likely to be Estera Hermaszewska.”

“Is he injured?

“It appears not, John.”

John placed his cutlery down delicately. “EOS… why? I haven’t asked you to monitor him. In fact I believe Scott specifically asked you not to do so.”

“Scott asked me not to monitor his vitals and location via his personal comm unit. He did not make any reference, positive or negative, to remote monitoring of his vehicle and its environs.” The AI’s voice had a petulant edge to it.

“Reference spirit of the law versus the letter of the law”

A few seconds passed.

“Oh.”

“You still haven’t explained why you are monitoring.”

“I am interested in the development of human friendships and believe Scott Tracy and Estera Hermaszewska would make an informative study. I am simultaneously monitoring three weather fronts, a wild fire in Peru, a developing coup in a Eurasian separatist state and I have learned 14% of the rules of cricket.”

“Still going on the cricket, EOS? It’s been a week?”

“I am determined to master it, John. It is the only sport where my understanding remains incomplete.”

John nodded and glanced at Penny who had been holding her napkin to her lips for rather longer than necessary to wipe the non-existent food residue from her face.

“Dare I ask what the Situation that concerns Scott is, EOS?”

“Yes, John.”

A pause. He clarified:

“What is the Situation, EOS?”

“All 16 life signs appear to have fallen over 100 vertical metres from the clifftop to the beach, John. All 16 remain viable and highly mobile which is anomalous in the circumstances.”

John frowned and ran a quick search on popular outdoor pursuits at the location. Then nodded. And sighed deeply.

“EOS, you need to stop monitoring Scott. He won’t thank you.”

“But John, what about…?”

“The only cause for concern here is that my eldest brother has found a friend as ridiculous as he is.”

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Scott leapt back in surprise and cursed loudly as the frigid water did its best to give him immediate frostbite.

Their harnesses and other equipment had been abandoned along with their shoes just above the tideline. The thrill-seeking group were dealing with the adrenaline comedown by rolling their trousers above the knees in order to sample the waters of the English Channel in late April. Which was clearly a lot closer to the Arctic Circle than his knowledge of geography had previously suggested.

He mock-glared at Estera who was unflinchingly shin deep in the gentle surf and doubled over laughing at him.

“Can’t we just jump off the cliff again?”

“I thought you lived by the sea?”

“Not this kind of sea!” Oops that was edging closer to a whine than he was proud of. Come on Tracy, man up.

He edged cautiously back to where the waves lapped over the pebbles and gritted his teeth to suppress the shudder as the nerves in his toes gave up and died on the spot.

“Last night I went for a swim and it was 72 degrees…” he quickly converted “about 22 Celsius.”

“Aaah this would be about 10.”

That figured.

“You should come back at Christmas, it’s tradition to swim in it on Boxing Day, sometimes we break the ice to do so.”

“Yep, I’m increasingly convinced the British are insane.”

She kicked icy water at him. He shrieked in an incredibly macho way and responded in the only way a self-respecting Commander, CEO and Responsible Big Brother could:

Competitively.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #tb estera #estera #idontknowreallywhy fanfic #EOS #The Commander and the Murderbot #John Tracy #cricket is unnecessarily complicated #i got a bit carried away #but enjoyed myself

[sinfulsalutations]

𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕨𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕤 𝕡𝕥.𝕚𝕚𝕚 ⋆*･ﾟ𝕔𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕠𝕡𝕖𝕣 𝕔𝕣𝕠𝕤𝕤𝕙𝕒𝕚𝕣

ᴘᴛ.ɪ + ᴘᴛ.ɪɪ

➼ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ☆ ʟᴏᴛꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴍɪꜱᴄᴏᴍᴍᴜɴɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ, ᴀ ꜱᴏʀᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴄᴏɴꜰᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ꜰᴇᴇʟɪɴɢꜱ, ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ɢᴇᴛꜱ ᴘᴀʏʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ɪꜱ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ɢɪʀʟʙᴏꜱꜱ ɪɴ ᴛʜɪꜱ ɴɢʟ ɪᴛꜱ ꜱᴇxʏ, ᴄʀᴏꜱꜱʜᴀɪʀ ɪꜱ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ ʙᴀᴅ ᴀᴛ ꜰᴇᴇʟɪɴɢꜱ (ʙᴜᴛ ʜᴇ'ꜱ ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ɪᴛ), ᴋɪɴᴅᴀ ᴀɴɢꜱᴛʏ?, ᴘ ɪɴ ᴠ ꜱᴇx, ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴠᴀɢɪɴᴀʟ ꜰɪɴɢᴇʀɪɴɢ

⋆ ★ ᴀᴀᴀᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴍᴀʀᴋꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪɴᴀʟ ɪɴꜱᴛᴀʟʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛʀᴜɴɢ ᴡɪʀᴇꜱ ᴍɪɴɪꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ! ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟʟ ꜰᴏʀ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪɴɢ, ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢɢɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴛʜɪꜱ, ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ɪᴛ. ɪ ᴛʀɪᴇᴅ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ɴᴇᴡ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜰɪᴄ, ᴅᴜɴɴᴏ ɪꜰ ɪᴛꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇᴀʙʟᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪꜰ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ ʜᴀꜱ ᴀɴʏ ᴄᴏɴꜱᴛʀᴜᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴄʀɪᴛɪᴄɪꜱᴍ ᴏʀ ꜰᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛʟʏ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇᴅ! ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇʟɪᴇꜱ

➼ ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜰɪᴄ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴꜱ ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ. ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ 18+ ᴅɴɪ

⋆ ★ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴏɴ ᴀᴏ3 ⋆*･ﾟ ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ ꜰᴏʀᴍ

Two days later, still barely able to process the events of your last encounter, you corner Crosshair instead of the other way around. You've decided, rather promptly, that you won't take his bullshit. His inconsistency makes you want to rip your skull apart and dig your nails into your skin.

He's just as infuriating, just as frustrating, just as attractive as he was before this whole cascade of events.

And you plan to put him in his place for once.

Wrecker's stentorian laugh is almost as loud as the music playing over the music at 79's, each arm wrapped around Tech and Hunter's necks as he recounts their last hilarious mission on a Mid Rim planet. You can't focus, however, when Crosshair's minatory eyes are trained on you a few stools away. Even from afar, you can feel his hands on you; something about the way he touches your body like something rare yet invaluable is unforgettable. 

You want to feel it again today. Just a little differently.

Crosshair's yelp is quickly silenced when you shove him onto the wall of the upstairs hallway, a storage closet you had made sure was empty beforehand nearby. Even with his surprise, he still manages to be cunningly adaptable; his hands hold your waist hard as you grip him by the collar of his blacks that meet his neck, pulling him in for a harsh kiss; it's all teeth and tongue, nothing nice or deceptively sentimental about it at all.

If he wants to play this game with you, you'll play it right back.

His hands continue to rub up and down your waist, slowly reaching underneath the hem of your pants to hold your bare hips. He gives a testing squeeze, the first time he's ever done such a thing, and you laugh, fucking laugh, against his mouth.

He pulls away, and before he can leave your grasp completely you press your hand to his chest, pushing him against the wall again. His eyebrows raise. You don't even realize this is the first time you've seen him off guard.

"What..." He begins aimlessly, still trying to find his words. Maker, it makes you so smug to see such a usually composed man struggling to find a mere sentence. "What-what are you doing?"

Without giving him the grace of a response, you wordlessly look beside you to the closet you had checked before, gripping his wrists between your fingers and tugging him in, quickly flicking on the lights and slamming the door behind him. Despite his confusion, he doesn't protest. You smirk, and tell him you both damn well know,

"We're going to fuck."

The look on his face is almost worth all the headaches he's induced. Leaning back to slowly close the door behind you, you get comfortable against it and raise a beckoning finger, just hauntingly urging him to come forward and take what you've bestowed upon him.

He does so wordlessly, hands all over you immediately; even though he's much taller than you, and can dwarf you like a tree in a thick forest, you still feel so powerful. Every action, every movement you make he is at your feet. It's intoxicatingly maniacal of you.

"And when we're done..." You continue, hands toying with his codpiece. He hisses viciously through gritted teeth, and you tut, raising your eyebrows at the sudden desperation.

"...You're going to tell me what I make you feel."

***

It's brutal.

Crosshair's entire body is pressed to you like a hot iron, not one part left to yourself anymore. He's lasciviously laying claim on your skin and limbs, over you, on top of you like the sky is the earth, like it's exactly where he's meant to be.

He rocks his cock into you once, twice with a dark sigh, something that sounds more like profound disappointment. Your hands, still holding onto the back of his head as an anchor, tug on large strands of his hair, craning his head from where he hides in the crook of your neck, yanking it again so his eyes open. Pupils blown wide, stare dark and desperate, he pulls back for a moment before he thrusts his hips again, rough.

You cry out, head falling back and in the moment you lose your sense of control his head falls to your neck again, peppering kisses over it like he was someone that loves you; it's the most intimate act the whole night.

But he doesn't stop the harsh fucking he inflicts on you. His hands grip your waist like a lifeboat, no doubt leaving purple and gray bruises for you to trail your hands over in the coming nights. All he's doing, it's to make him unforgettable; the quiet groans in your ear, the hickeys on your collarbone, how neither of you bothered to put on a rubber before he pushed himself into you.

It's just as impersonal as it is filled to the brim with each of your festering emotions.

It's exactly how you want it to be.

You can feel yourself nearing the end, the coil in your stomach tight and ready to snap at any moment, and you're ready to fall apart at any moment as well, when suddenly, Crosshair talks into your ear. He hasn't talked once yet; only the filthiest groans deep into your ear. You expect dirty talk, something that can get your rocks off to full completion.

But what you get is something else entirely.

"You're... infuriating," he grits out. You look at him with pensive eyes, eyebrows scrunched together, but he has his eyes shut tight, a look of anguish over his face. He continues before you can respond.

"You get under my skin like nothing else can."

His head falls and he groans roughly when he finishes the sentence, thrusting into you harder. He found your G-spot long ago but decided not to trail over it. Until now, at least. Now, he hits it over and over again you have to put in an extra amount of effort to listen to what he's saying.

"Make me roll my eyes and want to tear your clothes off at the same time."

There's so much honesty in his voice, a new tone of rawness and vulnerability you haven't heard before. More devastating than the strokes he inflicts,  the bruises and hickeys he leaves. The candor of his words tugs at your emotions far more.

"I hate that karkin' voice of yours, the stupid words that come out of your mouth. Only ever want to hear you moan and scream my name. Nothing else ever sounds good."

When you involuntarily clench around him while nearing your realize, he chokes on his next words, digging himself into your body deeper. His thrusts weaken but don't stop as he continues to take both of you to your releases.

"Maker you get on my nerves," he eventually hisses out, so close to your ear it sends waves upon waves of sinful shivers down your back. "So bratty and entitled."

Suddenly, his hand slithers down your stomach, thoughtfully and carefully before arriving at your clit. He rubs circles into it and you gasp softly, but he pays no attention. He keeps talking.

"An annoying, charming, stunning little princess..."

He thrusts and strokes your clit.

Then again.

And again.

"That's mine."

With that, you fall over the edge; you don't realize until then tears have been welling up in your eyes, and they finally fall down the side as you clench tightly around him, bucking into his heat over and over again. He rides through it, trying to keep up with your thrusts even as he nears his end. And with a guttural groan, he comes inside of you; the spill of his cum is hot and strong inside of you, it's hard not to feel it.

He sighs darkly, the side of his head beside you as he comes down. You turn your eyes to him; he's stroking your hair as his erratic breathing settles into something oddly domestic, something that you could maybe get used to.

Crosshair didn't wait until after you fucked to tell you how he feels.

The realization hits you like a truck, and with wide eyes you bring your hands up to move his face to yours, pressing your foreheads together. 

"Crosshair," You whisper to him. His eyes open, slowly and gingerly, catching onto yours like fish to bait. Droplets of water linger over the corner of his eyes. Tears have welled up in his eyes as well. Knowing that makes you feel less foolishly open.

Without another word, you pull him down for a kiss; his hands find their grip on you again, holding you differently, kissing you differently than before. It's still not as intimate, as romantic as a couple should be, but it's far closer to affection than he's ever been. His lips trail softly against yours, molding and adjusting to fit yours perfectly, capturing you like a perfect holoimage on his mouth to remember when he's away from you.

He feels something.

And you understand.

Not everything is perfect yet, but this is a step that you'll happily revel in.

tags: @pb-jellybeans @corrieguards @badbatchbabe @ladytano420 @jediknightjana @literallydontlook @lightwise @neon-junkie @bucketbunny99 @crosshairs-wife @temple-elder @starrylothcat @hounds-tooth-icto @stardust9905 @nahoney22 @saraoke @coraex p.s. i know some of u arent on the taglist, just wanted to tag you because you had shown interest in more parts/just thought you'd like this! hope you don't mind >.&lt;

#nour writes stuff #bad batch crosshair #tbb crosshair #clone trooper crosshair #crosshair the bad batch #crosshair bad batch #the bad batch crosshair #crosshair tbb #the bad batch #commander crosshair #tbb #tbb fanfic #the bad batch fanfic #the bad batch fanfiction #tb crosshair x reader #crosshair x reader #crosshair x you #crosshair x y/n #tb fic #tbb hunter #tbb wrecker #tbb tech #tbb echo #clone force 99 #hunter bad batch #wrecker bad batch #tech bad batch #echo bad batch #crosshair smut #crosshair x oc

[reneeluv154]

I need you

I hope you enjoy this imagine!!🤍🤍

This is a smut imagine about Newt.

I realize it’s a little long, I apologize. There isn’t really a plot just straight up smut.

:)

I tickled Newt’s hand, making him stir.

“Hmmph.” He grumbled, opening his lazy eyes.

“What love?” He whispered.

His voice made me horny. We may have our own room in the glade but that doesn’t mean the walls aren’t paper thin. Anyone at any time could hear everything. I smirked, wrapping both my legs around one of his and grinding.

He cocked an eyebrow.

“Not tonight love.” He pulled me closer holding me still. I tried desperately to grind on him but he wouldn’t let me.

“Shhh go to sleep, baby.”

I clenched my legs hard. Hearing him call me “Baby” made me need him even more.

“But Newt you promised!” I whined.

“Be quiet, there’s others trying to sleep.” His voice was more demanding. Thirty minutes later we still just lay there. I tried multiple times to grind on him or kiss him just trying to get him in the mood but he wouldn’t budge and he would slap my hand anytime I got too close to his Penis. My next choice was to touch myself but yet again I was stopped, no matter how quietly I tried.

“Newt please, I need this.”

A tear ran down my face in desperation and frustration. He sighed, wiping my tears, getting up and grabbing his shoes before picking me up, and letting me straddle him. I moaned from the contact and immediately began making out with his neck, trying to get more friction by moving myself roughly up and down his chest.

Before I knew it we were at our spot, deep in the deadheads where no one could hear or find us. I squealed when he set me down finally connecting our lips, we made out for a long while before he pulled away, both gasping for air.

“Newt, I need you,” I begged.

“Prove it, princess.” He whispered.

I smiled before lowering to the ground feeling the leaves and grass beneath me. I reached up and pulled down his trousers. Shocked to see he hadn’t worn any underwear to bed. He was huge, I swear bigger than last time. It was thick and long with veins bulging from it.

“You miss him, baby?” I nodded, giving him the cutest doe eyes I could. There was no sense of sleep in his eyes, he was wide awake and so was his Dick.

“Go on.” He pushed.

I trailed my tongue from his v all the way to the tip before taking him in my mouth and softly moving my tongue in circles around the tip. He moaned and threw his head back with his eyes shut.

I very slowly began sucking, moving my head back and forth. I wasn’t going to give it to him that easy, he made me wait, why shouldn’t he?

“You're gonna have to move a little faster, yeah?” He grunted.

I giggled, sending vibrations down his dick, his legs shook from the amount of edging.

“Faster princess.” He was much more dominant now grabbing my hair, and forcing his cock down my throat over and over again until he came, groaning loudly. I felt the sweet liquid shoot into the back of my throat before he pulled out. I looked up at him to show his load letting some dribble down my Chin before swallowing the rest.

“Mmmm, now it’s your turn princess.”

He grabbed me by my arm, roughly walking me over to a tree and tying my hand’s tightly around it, my ass sticking out from behind. He lifted my chin to look at him.

“This is what happens when you aren’t patient.” He gave me a small kiss before making his way behind me.

“I don’t think we need this now do we?” He asked, ripping off my tank top.

I gasped trying to move back against him. “A a ah, you do that again and I won’t let you finish, do you understand me?”

I nodded

“Yes.”

“Alright.”

He ripped both my bra and my panties off, playing with my nipples pinching and rubbing them, making me moan and arch my back. I could feel his dick against my ass making it harder not to grind.

“You're such a good girl.” He cooed.

My wetness was now running down my legs as I felt him sucking on my neck. “Are you ready?”

I smiled. Finally, he was gonna fuck me.

“Yes yes, I’m ready.” He chuckled at my desperate pleas, placing both hands on my hips before pushing his dick further inside me than I felt it had ever been. This was heaven. He began thrusting hard and fast into my sensitive pussy while guiding my hips with one hand, using the other to play with my clit. I screamed my eyes rolling back into my head and my back arching as I hit my high cumming on him but he didn’t stop pulling out a few moments later leaving his cum to squirt up my back. The warm sensation made me smile.

After he undid my cuffs and we both got dressed he carried me back to our room laying me down on my stomach and cleaning me up with a wet cloth before lying beside me.

“Was I too rough?” He asked with uncertainty and worry. I slowly shook my head, still recovering from my orgasm. “You were perfect.”

I smiled, cuddling into his chest.

And I felt a subtle kiss on my head while drifting into a relaxing rest.

Not very proud of this lol I was bored and needed something to write.

#a5 newt #newt smut #newt sex #newt imagines #newt fanfic #newt imagine #tmr newt #newtmas #newt #tbs #tbs fanfic #tbs imagine #tbs smut #thomas brodie sangster #artful dodger #jack dawkins #jack dawkins imagine #the artful dodger #jack dawkins smut #benny watts fuck #benny watts sex #benny watts fanfic #benny watts imagine #whitey Winn #thomas brodie sangster imagine #thomas sangster #the maze runner #maze runner smut #maze runner imagine #the jack dawkins

[the-fiction-witch]

Pew Pew

Media The Queens Gambit

Character Benny Watts 

Couple Benny X Reader

Rating Flirty

Concept Stealing His clothes 

I snuck out of bed as I often did, he’d be in bed for at least another hour and my mind was already racing with things I needed to do today. I made sure to be quiet the only sounds that of my bare feet moving across the stone basement floor I grabbed my little robe from the door handle and pushed the glass door open enough I could escape into the apartment closing it up again behind me as I slipped my robe over my shoulders tying it at my waist with a bow. I went to the kitchen making myself a cup of tea, sipping it as I began my long list of tasks. I had my shower, I put a load of laundry on, swept and dusted the apartment, grabbed the mail from the door, set it on a pile in front of the set up board from yesterday, I cleaned the shower and the sink, giving all the pillows a plump, writing a list for the shopping today looking though the fridge and the cupboards to create an accurate list. I was going to go and get dressed but I didn’t want to disturb him. I know he’s still tired from being away, I spotted the basket of laundry dry from yesterday's laundry load so I went over trying to find myself an outfit for the day, Unfortunately not doing too well at it. 

Black shirt - no that’s benny’s

Black dress, Ohh - No that's benny’s shirt too 

Ohh my big blue dress - Ughh nope benny’s jeans 

Ohh my red panties - Nope benny’s boxers

Where are all my clothes! 

I guess I shouldn't’ be surprised that this is all his clothes given this was yesterday's laundry load, I must have just thrown a load of all Benny's clothes straight out his travel bag when he got home. 

Well I don’t want to go in the bedroom and wake him up given he’s so sleepy still? Maybe I could just borrow an outfit for today? 

I grabbed a pair of his boxers, pulling them up nicely, grabbing a pair of his jeans, having to jump and squeeze myself a little, uhhh come on! Please just let me fit in his jeans, please. Yes! I may not be able to breathe out but there on and they're done up. Even if they were basically high waisted on me because of the length and… to do them up. I grabbed his green button down slipping it on and doing up all the buttons tucking it into the jeans ehhh no doesn't look right so I undid a few buttons exposing my chest giving a rather sexy look given the shirt held my breast so tight now with the center of my chest so exposed I rolled the sleeves up as they were far too long for me if I didn’t pulling my hair back into a long braid that wrapped down my shoulder I smiled and grabbed my big chunky goth boots as I had an idea I pulled them on and tucked the jeans down lacing them up on the steps. Yeah, it works with the vibe I’m feeling. I grabbed his jacket from the look slipping on the long leather trench coat doing a little spin in the mirror over the sink.

“What are you up to?” I heard behind me immediately making me freeze up, I turned on my heels to face the bedroom door where benny stood barefoot, having slipped a pair of his black jeans on hips hips even if they hung low without his belt, his kimono over his shoulders, his arms crossed over his chest leaning on the doorframe and glaring at me 

"Uuuuuuuhhh" I blushed pulling the jacket tighter 

"Y/n?" He glares 

"Howdy" I smiled “Pew pew” I smiled pretending to take a gun out of my coat a finger gun of course and shooting him which he merely glared at me 

“What are you doing?”

“Being a cowboy”

“In my clothes?”

“Your clothes make me look like a cowboy,” I smiled “what is it?” i asked given he had been glaring at me ever since I turned

“I think I need to give you a spanking”

“In a… sexy way? Or In a mad at me way?”

“That’s just what I’m trying to figure out” he sighed “...sexy. Take the jeans off and lay over the bed”

“But-” “Now”

“Yes benny” I blushed slipping the jacket off sitting it on the chair I was about to undo the jeans but he came over and stopped me holding my hips

“Whoa… fuck. You look amazing” He smirked stroking my hips “I should let you wear my clothes more often” He smirked making me turn around “Fuck! Hummm bad bad girl” he growled slapping my ass “you need your own jeans like this, certainly turn some heads at the next tournament” he smirked turning me back to face hi but still grabbing my ass hard

“You think so?”

“Trust me y/n there is not a man or even woman alive that could see your ass in there jeans and not imagine throwing you over the table” he smirked “In Fact.” he growled glancing at the table beside us and before I could say another word he pushed me over the table  and closed the gap between us grinding himself against me. 

“I thought I was getting a spanking” I giggled 

“You are. When I'm done with you” 

#tbs #tbs fanfic #tbs smutty #tbs smut #tbs sex #TBS Imagine #tbs imagines #benny #benny smut #benny x reader #benny fanfic #benjamin #benny watts #benny imagine #benny watts smut #benny watts imagine #tqg benny watts #bennywattssmut #BENNYWATTS #tqgbennywatts #the queen's gambit #The Queens Gambit #thomas #thomas sangster #thomas brodie sangster #thomassangster #thomas sangster imagine #thomasbrodiesangster #thomas brodie sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster i

[imagining-in-the-margins]

The Birds & The Bees (S.R. | Pt. 27)

Summary: Spencer’s half-truths are catching up to him, and Ms. Fletcher is causing problems.

A/N: Welcome back, my bunnies. Three chapters to go. Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Slow Burn (NSFW, 18+) Content Warning: Alcohol, kissing, verbal arguments, allusions to death and blood, ambulances, (metaphorical) hallucinations, paranoia, distracted/emotional driving Word Count: 10.5k

MASTERLIST | Series Masterlist

Since the dawn of man, so has existed the fear of the darkness. I had been no exception to this universal truth.

I’d always written off my fear of the nothingness as a product of my upbringing; my idea of home. Las Vegas was the only place I knew of where the neon signs outnumbered the people. The evenings were often more illuminated than the midday mark when the sun showed no mercy.

But on the nights where I wandered, I would travel far enough until I could find a unique kind of night. I could still feel the crisp air in my blood. With flimsy pedals beneath my feet and the endless desert ahead, I would ride until my legs ached the same as my lungs.

My mother would’ve hated my tendency to wander if she’d ever been able to notice. My father hated it for different reasons.

But if only the world had understood that it was not my love for solitude, but my yearning to be part of something greater that led me to the shrub-laden sand.

When I stood among the cacti and fellow nocturnal creatures, I would find that the night was so much brighter than in my bedroom. I would stand soaked in the starlight that fought against the darkness. Eventually, I would learn the names of every star that had one. They would become something like a friend to me, those stars. The guardians that offered silent, reverent guidance whenever I was lost. All the while flickering to remind me that they were still alive.

It was no wonder to me that I had trouble sleeping when I moved away from the desert and towards the East Coast. My heart knew what beauty hid under the blanket of the bare night.

The nightmares that plagued my psyche were nothing but a contrast to the nights I knew.

It was rare to have nightmares on the nights there had been a Bunny in my bed. Luckily, on those rare occasions, I would still wake from the horror to find her sleeping soundly against my chest. I wondered how the sound of my heart hadn’t been enough to wake her. I thanked whatever Gods were torturing me for allowing her unbroken dreams.

I hadn’t had a nightmare in the five days since Lila’s wedding. Of course, I hadn’t let her leave my side, either. The unique horror that was watching her get hurt, however imaginary, was too painful to bear alone.

But it had come time for her to return to her life without me, even if it was just for a couple hours. I knew I would miss her terribly, but I also knew I had to let her go. I had to allow her the freedom to grow so that when she returned to my arms, there was never a doubt that it was where she’d wanted to be.

Still, I felt an overwhelming relief when I woke to find her already so. She ran gentle fingertips over the rough scruff on my cheeks.

The first thing I noticed was the way her eyes and smile widened when she saw me wake. The second thing I noticed was the same as it always was. Except somehow, in a matter of hours, she had become even more beautiful than when I’d gone to sleep.

“Good morning, Bunny,” I mumbled.

“Good morning,” she whispered back. Her placid voice still shaken by the touch of sleep, she continued, “I missed you.”

My heart wrenched in my chest. It rioted against the starless sound of her sadness, and I was powerless to stop it from using every possible muscle to bring her closer.

Her lips found mine like a sunflower to the sun. Her limbs climbed me like honeysuckle vines searching for home. She found it there, buried in our embrace.

Even in the morning, she tasted like sweetness. She was the morning dew following a cloudless night, my oasis in the middle of a cruel stretch of desert.

When she broke apart to breathe, I found myself still tempted by her honeyed lips. I came closer, pressing our foreheads together like she might be able to read my thoughts. Like always, she giggled like she had heard them.

But when she pulled away again, I let her set the distance. I watched the way her bosom moved with her breath. I cradled her face so that I could count the steady beating of her heart as it resonated through her neck.

I felt how it shifted ever so slightly as he pressed her body against mine like she had something to hide.

“I have a favor to ask,” she said with little confidence.

Quickly, I moved my hands to hide the way I flinched at the thought of what she would want to ask.

I buried my face against the crook of her neck. I breathed in the scent of her hair. I laid hasty kisses against the column of her throat so that the pain in my chest might be mistaken for lust, instead.

“Anything,” I whispered, “I’d give you anything.”

It had been the truth. I would never regret giving her everything she’d asked for, even when I knew what she was about to ask. Even when I knew with the utmost certainty that it would leave me destitute in the daytime desert once more.

My Bunny knew it, too, which was why she was timid when she asked, “I wanted to know if you’d be alright with me going to that party that I was telling you about.”

My heart leapt in my chest with the worst kind of warning, but I tried to remain playful so as to not alert my Bunny of my impending doom.

“It’s tonight? Already?” I whined.

It had worked. She didn’t notice how my lips were more broken as they worshipped her. She only laughed while she squirmed against me and set my body on fire. I continued to kiss her wherever it tickled, dropping lower until I heard her breath catch in her throat.

My Bunny gasped for air while she laced each of her fingers through unruly curls atop my head. She pulled me away, and I obeyed. Yet she gave me enough freedom to grant her one more kiss against her breastbone.

My lips lingered, feeling the heavy beating of her heart. It was too tempting for me not to try.

“Stay with me, instead,” I grumbled against her skin, “I need more time to worship you.”

Her legs rubbed together with obstinate determination.

“Spencer!” she whined back, “You promised you wouldn’t do this.”

She had been right. It had still been worth a try. Just because I hadn’t gotten the answer that I’d wanted hadn’t meant that I would stop attempting to fill each second with adoration. I sighed against her chest and saw how her skin rippled from the humid heat of my breath.

“Of course you can go,” I conceded before I returned to my usual lackadaisical exploration of her.

I had loved her so many times. I knew her body better than my own, yet that morning, I stumbled as I held her. My Bunny was too smart not to notice.

She used her quick grip on my hair to guide me back up to her. Although I knew she wouldn’t fall for my tricks, I still used my leverage to climb atop her while I moved to meet her eyes.

As expected, that clever girl barely paid attention to the erection pressed between her thighs. She recognized my desire as nothing more but a sword and shield to defend against unwanted examinations into my emotional state.

“Is something wrong?” she asked before I could lower my face to capture her lips again.

“No, no. Nothing’s wrong,” I said too quickly to be the truth.

I tried to kiss her again, but that time her hand pressed hard against the top of my chest to keep me from lulling her straight into the bliss of ignorance.

“You’re lying to me… Why are you lying to me?”

She really was a clever thing. Almost gratingly so. Of course, if I’d had nothing to hide, it would have continued to be endearing.

It was my own fault. I was the stubborn one. I was, once again, sabotaging things in an effort to avoid the very result I was leading us to. I looked into her eyes and felt like a damn fool, despite how much she begged me not to.

“I’m sorry. You’re right,” I admitted more freely than the last time I’d kept something from her. Still, I couldn’t fight the urge to write off my concerns as nothing more than meaningless. “But it really isn’t anything important. I just…”

“Spencer,” she scolded.

She’d made me promise to be more honest with her. I had tried my hardest not to break it, but it felt inevitable. There was nothing greater than my desire to protect her purity. It was the very core of my love for her.

I had seen so many terrible things that I would never forget, but my Bunny didn’t need to know what horrors lurked behind prison bars. She didn’t need to confront the demons, the blood-soaked talons that would make home in any ounce of goodness they found.

You’re doing it again.

“Please tell me,” she pleaded.

I couldn’t tell her no.

“I had a bad dream and it’s making me feel uneasy,” I admitted.

“What was the dream about?”

You.

It wasn’t that I hadn’t wanted to tell her. It was more so that my mouth refused to make the words. The oxygen fled from my lungs, turning quickly to carbon dioxide to silence me. My heart was pounding, too far from hers for her to hear it. Yet she could see it in my eyes and feel it against her palm. She saw the terror she had no knowledge of.

That time when I kissed her, she didn’t stop me. I took it as a white flag; a shared realization that there would be some things that still scared me too much to mention.

Emboldened by the ambrosia of her lips, I explained it away the only way I knew how. The same thing said to me by my mother about the monsters in the closet. And like this danger, those, too, had been real.

“All that matters is that it was a dream and there is no reason to worry about it.”

Like the stubborn thing she was, my darling daisy fought against the reduction of my suffering. Her hands became softer while her resolve became more rigid. She wound my hair around her fingers like she might find errant nightmares among the strands.

“You know you don’t have to hide things from me, right? I love you,” she said like it was the simplest truth in the world.

I smiled, still waiting for the day I would believe it fully.

“I know, I try to understand why every second that I’m awake.”

Her nose crinkled with her laughter. What I wouldn’t give to hear that sound every morning.

The truth, I heard from within my heart. That is the thing I am refusing to give.

The realization was so overwhelming that it felt unwieldy. So suddenly, reality collapsed in on itself and fell onto my shoulders in its entirety. Like Atlas, I stumbled. In a moment of weakness — no, strength — I admitted to myself and to my Bunny that it had become too heavy.

“I know you deserve freedom, and you can make your own decisions, and that you are strong and capable and…”

I paused. I looked down at the young woman with eyes wide with hope and I tried my hardest not to crush it beneath my heel.

“I don’t need to worry about you, but I do,” I admitted with a broken heart. “I just hate when I don’t know where you are or what you’re doing, and it eats me alive that you could get hurt and I wouldn’t be there to prevent it and…”

She ended the thought with the cruelest kindness. Her lips felt like water on a fire, and I became lost in the haze left behind. I held her closer. I pushed her onto her back and climbed atop her without any protest from the wriggling rabbit beneath me. I held her head instead of the sheets, propping myself on my elbows so that I could kiss her harder. I spoke to her honestly, then, with fumbling tongues and hurried breath. I tried to explain how deeply these roots ran, how often they had been scorched or severed and tried to find another way.

They all led me back to her.

Before I could open my mouth to speak, to finish that terrifying thought that fought its way to the forefront in every single moment of silence, she stopped me.

“Why are you thinking like that, Spencer?”

For the first time, my instinct was to tell her the truth. For a fleeting second, I considered telling her about Maeve. My mind mapped out each nuance and explanation, but when it came time for my heart to decide, I said nothing.

I let out the breath in my lungs and like dried dandelion pappus, the memory of Maeve fluttered away.

This time would be different. It had to be different.

“Nothing. It was just a bad dream,” I professed. Then, trying to avoid any further expanding on those feelings, I focused my attention on more beautiful things.

My Bunny, beautiful above all else.

“But you’re here now, and I would be an idiot if I didn’t take full advantage of that.”

Any hesitation left her the moment I kissed her cheeks. Her giggling returned; this time accompanied by excited attempts to catch my lips with hers. Once I made my way there, I fell back into the comfortable lull of her love.

“You are so beautiful,” I sighed. “I love you more than life itself.”

The rabbit stilled. The musculature of her face twitched in the most subtle way, but I saw it. I saw how hard my Bunny tried to bite her tongue, but she couldn’t let it go.

“I love you, too…but…”

She looked at me, but not in my eyes. She tried, with naive eyes, to read the unreadable in my tense muscles. I held on, as stubbornly as she had. My resolve gripped the facade as hard as I could, not because I’d wanted to lie to her, but because I’d wanted to lie to myself.

She hadn’t let me, though.

 “It worries me when you talk like that, Spencer.”

“Why?” I asked, hoping for the answer I’d been searching for since the day I met her.

“Because it just sounds like… you don’t value your own life.”

Oh.

“Like you’re just waiting for the chance to jump in front of a bullet for me,” she said as she crumpled into herself. Her shoulders pulled up and forward, and her hand that had been resting on my shoulder fell away.

As it hit the bed, I wasted no time readjusting so that I could hold it there against the sheets. I prayed she couldn’t feel the way they shook.

“I would,” I confessed, despite the fact it was unwelcome. “I would die for you in a second.”

My Bunny gave a solemn smile; sad but honest. It held multitudes of universes that I chased after in her eyes just before she lowered her gaze.

“Please, don’t,” she pleaded somewhat playfully.

Although it had been uttered like a joke, there had been an honest vulnerability in her request. Behind soft lashes I saw the layer of dew gathering in her eyes that she blinked away in a quiet moment.

She had never asked me for much. Still, I couldn’t promise her that I would change as quickly and wholly as she’d hoped. As she had deserved. So, I offered her all that I could.

“I’ll try my hardest, Bunny.”

She accepted it. She soaked in the small change like succulent roots following a downpour. Just like the cacti I’d called companions, her hope brought blossoms to the bright morning light.

“So… what I’m taking out of this is… I can go to the party?” she snickered.

“Of course, Bunny,” I chuckled.

That dastardly desert flower sneaked her hand back just so she could throw her arms around my neck. She pulled me closer, and, in a frenzy of laughter and kisses, she eased the pain that had always accompanied letting her go.

When she’d stopped, though, the fear resurfaced from the cracks in my armor.

“Just… promise me you’ll be safe,” I whispered against her skin. “You can call me any time, and I will be there.”

“I promise, Spencer,” she sighed.

I felt the release in my own lungs. I closed my eyes and lowered myself until our chests met in the middle. I laid my body weight on her like a security blanket, listening for the gentle beating of her heart so mine might remember how to do it right.

“I’ll be curled up with you in bed tonight, just like it should be,” she assured me.

I thought of all the ways that might not happen before I could convince myself to consider the far more likely reality that it would. The tension began mounting until I was worried that I might crush the flower in my grip.

I forced myself to sigh to relieve the pressure once more.

“I can’t wait,” I whispered.

At least it had been the truth.

The air was thick and smelled like a mixture of liquor and smoke. The smoke itself had varying levels of pungency, and I didn’t dare try to differentiate the source of each. I would be lying if I’d pretended the thought of finding something to calm my nerves hadn’t crossed my mind, though.

It wasn’t so much the nature of the party that had me panicked; it was something inside me that seemed to have changed. Perhaps that was why I’d been so insistent to Spencer that I need time to do the things college girls do.

As I stood in a room full of belligerent fools, though, I wanted more than anything to just go home. Even that realization felt frightening. It had only been a few months that I’d known Spencer, and really, it had only been a few weeks since we traded vulnerabilities.

How could it be that I’d forgotten how to blend into a crowd so quickly?

I was supposed to be having fun. But the moment I found a mostly empty room, I took advantage of the reprieve from heavy bass and invasive eyes. I didn’t just stop there, either. I continued to slip into the empty bathroom and let out a deep sigh when I found it was not occupied by a couple who would only feel encouraged by an audience.

No, it was just me. Just me and the muffled sound of a party that I’d gotten dressed up for, even though I knew Spencer wouldn’t be able to see me.

I looked at myself in the reflection the same way I had in Vegas. I touched my own exposed skin and remembered the way it had felt that first night he touched me. Silently, I wondered if it would still feel the same.

A smile appeared before a conclusion had been reached by an inebriated mind. An eerie sense of calm started to cover my skin with goosebumps like lilies sprouting over a grave.

I realized then, as I chuckled to myself in an empty room, why it was so hard to be there. I knew with the utmost certainty that I felt out of place there because I was. I always had been.

This was not to say there was anything wrong with the girls on the other side of the old home’s hollow wooden doors. There was nothing wrong with enjoying a more hedonistic lifestyle and, for many years, I envied them for being able to find the courage to indulge.

But the version of myself that I had presented to them felt as distant from myself as the reflection in front of me.

I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. I pictured a quiet night alone with the man I loved, and I reminded myself that this was not a decision I had to make. I could grow into a new version of myself that existed without him the same way that I’d grown along with him.

At the end of the night, I knew, he would be waiting for me. I couldn’t wait. I wanted to hear his voice, soft and comforting as he lulled me into another wonderful dream.

Just as my heart began to mend itself, and I felt the life returning to me, it drained from me in a matter of seconds.

“Hey Bunny,” a young girl sneered.

My eyes shot open to find that I was no longer alone in the bathroom. I had been joined by a face I knew too well.

Her friends would call her Montana. Spencer would call her ‘Ms. Fletcher.’ But to me she would always be the grating voice of insecurity. The supposed self-appointed President of my boyfriend’s fan club, and the most irritating girl I’d ever had the displeasure of knowing.

I would say that the hostility she instilled in me was a result of the alcohol, but I would be lying. Even Spencer had warned me about her. Never with much detail, but always with an overwhelming amount of disdain. She was the only student in his entire career that he would forcibly remove from his class. When I’d asked him why, he’d simply said that he pitied the girl.

I didn’t ask any questions. The look in his eyes told me she’d done enough to deserve his apathy.

Still, she was young and foolish and hopelessly in love with a man who hardly remembered her name, and so I felt obligated to show her a modicum of respect. Even if the only motivation was my own desire to be kind.

“Oh, hey,” I offered as politely as I could.

The girl stalked forward with enough confidence that it almost made me stumble. Despite her negative qualities, she possessed enough sureness in her own sexuality to make most things seem possible.

For a second, I wondered how different life must be for girls like her, but then I remembered that I didn’t particularly care about how anyone else looked at me. Spencer already looked at me with enough adoration to fill a black hole to oblivion.

Yet when she looked me up and down, I felt myself shrinking, if only for a second. I nonetheless forced myself to stand tall and refuse to cower.

“You look cute,” she snickered, “Where’s your boyfriend? Does he know you’re here?”

“Yeah, of course he does,” I shot back a little too quickly. She latched onto the tremble in my voice and dug her nails into the vulnerability.

“Sorry, I should have specified which boyfriend,” she continued.

This time when my hair stood on end, it was nothing like lilies. It was the needles of a cactus and the thorns wrapped around the roses.

“I meant Spencer,” she purred.

Don’t fucking call him that, was what I’d wanted to say. But the shock of the indecency had rendered me speechless. I just stared at her, exactly like the deer caught in the headlights. I had promised myself not to be prey anymore, but it had been so long since I’d been faced with a predator as ruthless as the unfortunate girl in front of me.

“I know you were seeing a couple guys there for a minute,” she continued without giving me a chance to answer. “I never thought you would have it in you. I guess you proved me wrong.”

A whore by any other name, I suppose.

I tried not to let it bother me.

“Uh… sure,” I said.

It didn’t work.

“Yeah, Spencer knows I’m here,” I repeated.

Her body brushed against mine as she forced her way in front of me. I stood firm in my space, refusing to give her even an inch more of my resolve.

As she perched herself on the counter, she made a point not to fix the risen hem of her skirt. I wondered whether she had meant for me to be jealous of her or attracted to her, but ultimately, I felt neither. If anything, I was confused by her attempted displays of dominance.

“Don’t you find it weird?” she asked as she leaned forward like it had been a scandalous thought, “Calling him his first name?”

“Not really… he’s my boyfriend,” I answered.

“Yeah. I guess it’s different when he’s like, actually your professor,” she laughed.

A familiar nausea began rocking in my stomach. It was unrelated to the alcohol. It was more like a warning of an impending storm that ushered me to find shelter.

But my shelter wasn’t there. He was at home, where I’d begged him to be. He wasn’t there when she said something that made me recoil.

“I almost slipped up so many times in class. Wouldn’t that have been embarrassing?”

I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. It drowned out the distant sounds of the party and alerted me only of my desire to release the rage that had been brewing for several months now.

I took a deep breath in and released some of it with a quick exhale. I stepped to her right and pretended like I had something to fix about my make up so I could stop looking at her shit-eating grin. I ignored the obvious mockery of when he’d actually used the wrong name for me.

Shouldn’t that very incident have shown her how silly this charade was?

“Yeah, you probably shouldn’t call him by his first name,” I said more confidently after the oxygen returned to my brain, “He really doesn’t like it when his students do that. It’s disrespectful.”

She was unbothered by my words. In fact, it seemed like she’d hardly even heard me. She just continued on, each word hitting me like talons and teeth.

“He seemed to like it when I was in his office,” she said. If that had been all, I would have easily written it off. But it hadn’t been.

“Right before Thanksgiving?” she giggled before adding, “Although, I guess you weren’t there for a couple weeks…”

I swallowed the anxiety that shot up my throat in the form of liquor and bile.

“A man like him gets lonely.”

My fingers twitched as they struggled to find something to do. I forced them to move, to fix any errant hair or pigment on my face to not give her the satisfaction she was after.

She was lying. She had to be lying.

It didn’t make any sense that Spencer would cave to something so unabashedly lustful. My mind recounted each time he spoke about purity as the only thing worth protecting, but then the few times he spoke about men broke through.

‘He’s the same as any other man,’ was what he’d said about Kyle.

He had been right. At the time, I knew he was also speaking of himself. But how far did those indiscretions reach? Surely, it couldn’t be what this girl was implying.

Could it? It couldn’t be.

The confidence wavered as I realized that, even if it hadn’t been Spencer’s intention to trick me, he had narrowly escaped any discussion on exactly why he had cheated on Max.

I was taking too long to respond. The silence in the room was heavier than the air. The tension was even worse than both combined. It had only been a few seconds, but it was long enough that she had felt the need to deal what I’m sure she thought would be a fatal blow to a soft heart.

“Not to mention all the late night messages. Those never really stopped.”

Immediately, a burden was lifted from my chest.

“Right,” I laughed. The airy sound of my voice must have tipped her off to something, because I saw her tense in my peripherals. Without even turning to her, I hummed through the continued laughter, “Because that’s what my boyfriend known for. Texting.”

She didn’t concede even when I looked at her with a pout full of pity.

“Yeah, I guess those dating sites are more similar to e-mailing, so the old man is more comfortable with it,” she persisted, nonetheless.

My lips flattened but the sarcastic smile remained. Because I understood then, what Spencer had meant. 

I felt bad for her, too.

I felt bad that she felt it was necessary to lie about any of it. I pitied her because I couldn’t imagine a world where she thought I wouldn’t know about my own boyfriend.

How many men had convinced her that paranoia was normal? Who had taught her pain to the extent that she was so confident I would believe any of the lies she’d told?

“Besides, it’s harder to hide phone calls from certain nosy people,” she spat. For the first time, I saw her initial confidence for what it really was. It was just fear; an almost debilitating amount of self-hatred disguised as something else.

I might not have known what happened with Spencer and Max, but I sure as shit knew that this girl was lying through her teeth.

“Right. I don’t know what you’re doing, but… it’s not going to work,” I told her. I tried to infuse the words with kindness that she was probably not used to. But when I said, “I trust my boyfriend,” she continued to fight.

“That’s so cute,” she snickered with so much disappointment it was almost palpable. “Stupid. But cute.”

I summoned all the willpower I had left after the alcohol had drained away most of my inhibitions. I was going to let her go on believing she had won, albeit with a bruised pride and nothing to show for it.

I was so ready to walk out the door without uttering a single mean word to her.

But Spencer had been right about her. She couldn’t take no for an answer. She just had to keep going.

“Guess Kyle was right about you, too,” she said.

And I snapped.

“What, you expect me to believe that Spencer Reid slept with a student just because she offered? Do you have any idea how fucking stupid you sound?”

The sound of my own voice surprised me. Her eyes grew wide, not with fear, but excitement at having earned the response she was hoping for.

She didn’t even particularly care if I was right, or even if I’d believed her. She just wanted a spectacle, and I’d given it to her.

“Actually, that’s a silly question. Of course you don’t,” I laughed, loud and bitter between the songs. The few people in the room took notice of the two of us, but no one took a step closer.

“You don’t have any idea what Professor Reid thinks about anything, because he doesn’t even know who you are.”

Behind the smile, I saw something inside of her crack. I should’ve known better than to poke the beast, but the rage inside of me demanded it be known. Like the wrath of Persephone, I flung thorned words at the woman and hoped that she would turn to mint and wither beneath my heel.

“The few times I mentioned you, it kind of seemed like he didn’t even remember your name,” I spat, “which is pretty fucking hard to do to someone with an eidetic memory.”

I could hear feet shuffling into the room, I could feel their eyes on my back the same way they stared when Spencer had called me by the wrong name.

I probably should’ve been embarrassed, but I wasn’t. I didn’t feel anything other than anger and hurt that didn’t result from any one specific person. That poor, pitiful girl just happened to be the right person at the wrong time. She had unknowingly batted at the wasp’s nest and would forever bear the scars.

She couldn’t hide her own disdain. She tried to speak, but her teeth told her not to. She bit down on her tongue and avoided looking at me or the crowd I felt forming.

Even though I had turned into the aggressive one, I still felt trapped.

“So you know what, even if he did sleep with you, which I find hard to believe considering — contrary to what you clearly think — he doesn’t really like nasty, vindictive little girls who try to fuck him before they even finish writing their dissertation, you certainly didn’t leave any lasting impact on him,” I shouted. I yelled loud enough for even the people in the hallway had to hear me. Then, much quieter and through what were almost tears, I choked, “And that’s somehow even more pathetic than lying about it in the first place.”

Like a hurt animal backed into a corner, I had lashed out and accidentally shared a glimpse of my insecurity that she wouldn’t let slip away.

“Wow,” she chuckled with a fake pout. “Did I strike a nerve, Bunny? Has ‘your boyfwend’ seen this side of you?”

“God, you’re so fucking stupid!” I spat. I hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but once it started, I couldn’t make it stop. “I don’t even know why I wasted my breath on you. Have fun living in your fantasy world where you think my boyfriend would ever want to fuck you.”

I turned on my heel and threw the door open. It took every bit of focus for me to not fall from the dizziness of the rage and anxiety. Even when familiar, friendly faces tried to stop me, I shoved their hands off me and pushed my way through the crowd.

“Bye, Bunny!” she called.

“Hey, you know, since you’re so obsessed with me, please feel free to date Kyle,” I answered. I threw my hands up like white flags as I ran the other direction, “Heaven knows he’d love you!”

As I stumbled through the crowd, I tried to find any reprieve from the feeling in my chest. I almost thought to lock myself in another, less intimidating bathroom, but the thought of looking at myself in the mirror made me sick.

I knew I wouldn’t like what I’d find.

So, instead of giving in to the misery she wanted, and instead of facing my own misgivings, I threw myself into the life I had once tried to live. I grabbed my friends and a drink I didn’t want.

I didn’t call Spencer.

I knew I wouldn’t like what he’d find.

Don’t think of a pink elephant.

It should be a simple instruction. Think of a blue monkey or a purple bird with a broken wing. Think of a brown bumblebee or any other oddly colored thing.

Just don’t think of a pink elephant.

In 1987, the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology published a paper confirming the existence of the Pink Elephant Paradox, although back then, the experiments dealt with the less alliterative polar bear. The idea remained the same: the more you try not to think of something, the more likely it is that you will.

Perhaps the reason why we switched from tundra bears was more than a mere purple prose preference, and in fact had something to do with the inherently intrusive nature of everything else we’ve come to know by its name. From drunken hallucinations per Henry Wallace Phillips’s The Man and the Serpent in 1896 to the more recent tale of Walt Disney’s Dumbo, there has always been the haunting allure of the Pink Elephants on Parade.

I was not drunk, yet I couldn’t rid myself of the thought that I’d wanted more than anything to forget. I knew the psychology; I knew that the harder I tried not to picture every way everything could go horribly wrong, the more I would fixate on it until I was trampled by two-ton feet.

Thinking about my Bunny being mangled by talons and teeth wouldn’t make it any more likely to happen, but it would certainly drive me insane. Yet it somehow felt like a disservice to not even consider it.

If something did happen and I hadn’t been worried, what would that make me in the aftermath? Nothing different than the alternative, I reminded myself. Because if something did happen and I had been sulking without action, I’d be equally paralyzed by my failure.

Perhaps that was the true source of my torture. It was the powerlessness of it all. This pain, this endless suffering was a remnant of each time that my intellect abandoned me when I’d needed it most.

I stared at the door to my apartment and tried to imagine the wood being adorned with flowers. I looked at it until dry eyes burned and my resolve shattered.

The pink elephant appeared, and on his trunk, he wore a crown covered with wilted flowers and brittle thorns.

Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt.

The sound erupted as I watched blood dripping from its proboscis. There stood the albino elephant stained with the blood of every innocent life lost to poachers. It cried out a warning that would be heard too late.

As I lifted the phone, I knew what I would find.

Don’t think of the pink elephant. Ignore its cries and hold on to the hope that it will be different this time.

But there it was, with LED burning through the daze and refusing to be forgotten.

“You better come get your little rabbit before someone gets hurt,” the message read.

I faced the unfamiliar number with nothing else to say.

“I’m on my way,” I answered.  

And I ran.

No matter how loud the door was when I slammed it behind me, I couldn’t hear it over the incessant pounding of my heart. I was acutely aware that what I was doing was reckless and dangerous, but my body moved without instruction. It functioned purely on a mixture of adrenaline and muscle memory.

Each traffic light that flashed green felt like a mercy and mockery. It was as if some greater being, some bastardization of God was indicating to me that it wouldn’t matter how fast I got there—it was already too late.

My mind was filled with endless images of every vile thing man has ever done. I pressed a shaking palm against one eyelid until I saw nothing but red.

Red like blood-stained lilies. Red like the burning surface of the sun. Red like everything at the end.

Danger.

I could hear the sirens calling my name.

You’re in danger.

But I wasn’t, she was.

This is going to hurt.

I slammed on my brakes just in time to avoid colliding with the ambulance flying down the road perpendicular to my own lane of travel. The ear shattering screech of rubber and asphalt still seemed louder than the high-pitched screaming. The grim reaper with flashing lights affixed to metal limbs.

All the air in my lungs left me at once, like I’d awoken from a dream to find myself stuck in a liminal space.

The sudden shift in pressure and space did, however, alert me to the fact I had little to no clue where I was. I looked up at the street sign and I begged the universe to alter however much was necessary so that it would change.

I didn’t want to believe that it was correct when it told me that the ambulance had become my guide to where I’d needed to be. The world stopped at the same second the stoplight turned red. I waited, basking in the reckoning like humility might save me now.

Eventually, I received permission to proceed, although it did little to assuage a heart that had already broken itself in preparation for what it would find. Each piece of ceramic once held together by the liquid gold flowing from her lips had lodged itself in my lungs.

Yet when I made it up to the house that I knew she would be at, there was no ambulance in sight.

It hadn’t been enough time to find her. It couldn’t have been. Before I got out of the car, I forced myself to don whatever remained of my civility to be sure not to hurt anyone but those who should be held responsible.

I was not judge. I was not executioner. I was just another fallible fool. I tried to remind myself. I tried to maintain any visage of authority before I confronted what would, undoubtedly, be the least helpful collection of young adults in town that evening.

As I approached the door, the few people who braved the freezing temperatures hardly seemed to notice me.

The door was already open. The scene was, however, far from inviting. The heady stench of liquor and marijuana was somehow the least offensive part of what I’d found inside the four walls.

The music was so loud that I could feel the bass in my blood like a hammer to my heart. Every second that passed that I hadn’t found her yet, I felt a part of me dying. The tragic romantic in me swore that was a sign sent from my Bunny.

But it wasn’t. She promised she would call me. She promised everything would be alright.

“Yo! Professor Reid!” a relatively familiar voice called to me.

I turned to find a boy from my class, who I could only assume lived somewhere in the filth.

“Where is she?” I asked with as much patience as I could muster.

Luckily for the boy, he was sober enough to know who I was looking for.

“Around. Somewhere… I think,” he muttered inarticulately, “I’m almost positive I haven’t seen her leave.”

But he hadn’t been sober enough to help, it seemed. I abandoned any hope from him and opted to scan the sea of faces, instead. I tried to focus on any that felt familiar enough to be able to find her.

My heart pounded harder. My rib cage rattled like a death knell. With each passing second, it got louder until it was impossible to ignore.

If I’d been anywhere else, I think I could have pulled it together. I tried so hard not to project my own experiences onto these… children, all things considered. They were kids who just wanted to find themselves. They were going about it all wrong, but that was simply part of the journey.

But in every girl, I saw Alexa Lisbon. In every boy, I saw the faces of the boys who chose to find themselves by stripping me of my safety.

I recalled the first time I’d tried to tell my Bunny what happened to me, only to get lost in the ghosts crawling out of the graveyard buried in my chest. I never wanted her to know what that was like.

Yet when I looked around, I watched every unwanted advance and lost soul bumbling through a group of people who’d yet to learn how awful they could be under the right circumstances. 

That was when the boy spoke again, unaware of what he had been implicitly allowing.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” he laughed “That’s hilarious.”

The mask slipped. It cracked and shattered the same as my heart and I lost any patience that might have remained.

I turned to him but had the wherewithal not to touch him.

He wasn’t Kyle. He was just an idiot.

“Listen, I understand this is all fun and games to you, but if someone doesn’t tell me where she is in the next thirty seconds, I will have every cop in the county at your doorstep before you even have time to climb out of the window. Do you understand?”

His eyes widened before his whole face turned to a nervous grimace.

“Chill, dude.”

A couplet consisting of two of the worst words he could have uttered. But thankfully for him, they had been quickly followed by the only thing capable of extinguishing my rage.

“She’s right there.”

Before I could even turn to see her, I heard her.

“Professor!” she yelled over the music. The title was featherlight and filled with so much joy that I nearly fell to my knees at the mere sound.

It was innocent; still innocent.

“Bunny, oh my god,” I sighed. It felt like the first time I’d breathed since she left me a few hours earlier. I would need the extra air, too, because she tore through the crowd and barreled into me with no inhibition. I couldn’t help but laugh as she nearly took us both down to the ground in her haste.

Despite her fervent, untamable teenage-esque excitement, I managed to hold her with something resembling fragility. My hands knotted in her hair as I held her against my chest. My embrace became stronger the longer she touched me; like she was the roots that kept me tethered to the ground after a lifetime of wandering through drought riddled fields.

It couldn’t have been longer than a few seconds, but the past half hour of trying to find her had caught up to me at once. I savored each second of the peace I found in her.

The same second my arms relented, though, she had straightened herself enough to wriggle her arms free. She grabbed hold of my face with both hands and her full force, and my wistful little lavender girl downright insisted that I kiss her.

I did. Or, at least, I tried. The pungent taste of what I could only imagine was pure liquor almost made me recoil. Once the initial shock had faded, though, I subdued the eager girl into a more tender meeting of our lips.

It took her about five seconds to decide that she’d had enough of that and return to her previous efforts to get me drunk from her tongue alone. That had been a lot, but nothing unmanageable. I just laughed and tried to pry her hands from my cheeks.

When she’d dropped one hand, I thought her sense had returned to her.

But then she grabbed hold of the waistband of my pants and I decided it was probably high-time to take her home.

“God, you are drunk,” I chuckled.

My Bunny was safe in my arms when she hummed. So happily, so freely, she curled within my embrace and nuzzled herself against my chest. My heart had calmed, but still reached out for her all the same.

Gently, I lifted her face back up to look at me. I looked into glassy, bloodshot eyes and still saw universes worth of love. I sought signs of pain and found only the kind that would be rendered inconsequential in time.

Still, I had to ask, “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

“Mmmhm m’great,” she slurred with very little enunciation, “wan kiss more.”

“Not right now. Let’s go home first,” I offered.   

I hadn’t realized how much it would break her heart. Her eyes grew big and filled to the brim with tears that would almost seem comical under the circumstances. I tried to straighten out her disheveled appearance but found myself growing even fonder of her somehow.

Which would work against me when she pleaded, “Please?”

It would never stop feeling like this, I realized. Her begging would never cease to render me stupid. All the IQ points in the world would never make me strong or smart enough not to give into her swiftly and without remorse.

But at the same time, I knew how many people were watching. I knew how easy it would be for someone to read my actions as a rejection rather than a desire to keep her intimacy entirely to myself. So, I gave into her the only way I knew how.

I pressed a soft kiss against her forehead. I lingered there, feeling the warmth of clammy skin that still tasted as sweet as the honeysuckles from my youth. I held her steady like twining vines upholding a weary flower so that she could feel the sun without having to leave the safety of the shade.

She seemed pleased. Her dopey smile, while altered by the alcohol, still seemed as genuine as it had been the first time that I’d held her in the early morning light. 

It would never stop feeling like this, I realized. I would love her with my everything, forever.

What a wonderful, horrifying feeling, to let your heart wander amongst so many that would crush it without hesitation. What a worse fate it would be to have never had it at all.

“Come on, sweetheart. We’re leaving.”

My Bunny followed my direction without another word. There was nothing resembling a protest. Part of me wondered if she would have followed anyone in that state, but I knew it was just my paranoia projecting onto her yet again.

Catherine Adams is dead, I reminded myself. There was no reason to believe that she, or anyone else, might recycle tactics that had managed to hurt me.

Yet the scar on my hand stung the entire ride home. It demanded my attention even more than the heavily intoxicated girl half-asleep in my passenger seat. I couldn’t stop myself from glancing over at her, but every time I did, the pain became even more nauseating until I could hardly focus.

Eventually, though, I’d made my way home without incident. The disgust and adrenaline had exhausted themselves, leaving nothing but the many skeletons in my closet. They crowded my insides until it felt like I would burst with a flurry of acid coated, mineralized shrapnel.

I looked over at my Bunny who fumbled with a still-locked car door. I saw the almost suffocating innocence, the ease with which she could find herself in any number of my work-associated memories.

There pink elephant hadn’t come, no matter how much I’d called it. It couldn’t because Catherine is dead, I reminded myself.

But the man who shot me wasn’t.

“Who were you arguing with?” I asked.

My Bunny gave up trying to leave the car and instead curled into a ball right where she was.

“What’re ya talkin’bout?” she said with a yawn so carefree that a broken heart might mistake it for mockery.

She wasn’t being cruel; just naive. She had been as clueless as I’d always wanted her to be around me. But in that moment, her sheltered mind lacked the imagination to understand why I’d even arrived in the first place.

“You’re… friend, I guess, texted me and told me you were in trouble,” I explained with as much patience as I could.

My Bunny twisted into a perplexed, and slightly defensive posture.

“Whaaat?”

Rather than trust myself to explain it without releasing my internalized hatred and raising my voice, I simply handed her my phone. Again, she grimaced at the contrast of the LED against the darkness. Once she was able to steady herself enough to read it, however, all she did was roll her eyes.

“Oh, well… that sounds way scarier than what happened,” she scoffed.

“Yeah, it does,” I spat back bluntly. The sound hit like a bat to a fragile girl’s heart.

The wounded look in her eyes provoked an all-encompassing regret.

“I feel like… you’re mad at me,” she whispered. She squirmed in her seat and tried to straighten her back only to find herself sliding back down with shame.

I should have apologized to her then. But it had been late, and I’d exhausted all efforts in my attempt to save her from nonexistent enemies, so instead of admitted fault, I clung to the painful memories that had nothing to do with her.

“Who were you arguing with?” I asked again, more aggressively than I’d ever wanted to speak to her.

“A stupid bitch.”

Resting my elbows against the steering wheel, I lowered my face into my hands.

She wasn’t the only one who’d felt ashamed.

“I’m going to need more information than that,” I demanded.

The spunk I’d admired in her came out sounding like venom.

“Why? It‘s none of your business!”

“Don’t give me an attitude right now,” I warned.

She didn’t heed it. Instead, she threw her arms forward to shield her heart and screeched, “Why are you mad at me? I didn’t send it!”

There was nothing left. The well of charitably had been drained and left nothing but starved, scorched roots seeking for something it would never find. I wanted comfort, but she had needed it.

With a raised voice, I shouted, “Because! I just had to walk into a… disgusting house party filled with a bunch of stupid drunk boys because I thought you were in danger, and if it turns out this was all just because you were… bored, or insecure, I have every right to be upset with you, Bunny!”

If I’d stopped for a minute, I would have heard her sobbing. If I had looked at her instead of my own scars displayed against my palm, I would have seen how the sound made her shake.

But I didn’t. I steadfastly ignored the reality that this had not been the time, place, or circumstances to try to sort through my own responses to something that had turned out to be nothing.

“I thought you were hurt! I thought you—!”

My throat closed around the words. I choked on the thoughts that had been filling my head. Even in my panic, my body had known not to speak them into existence. Those thoughts were supposed to be her shield. They were not meant to be wielded as swords.

“I thought…” I croaked.

I thought it had happened again.

But it hadn’t. It hadn’t happened. It had been different this time, exactly as she’d promised.

You’re safe here, she had told me. But that was only because the fear I felt hadn’t been shared or understood by the drunken, withered flower beside me because I hadn’t told her any of it. I had kept it from her—lied to her—only to blame her for it. To punish her for being able to live the way she deserved. The way I had promised to allow her to.

“You scared me,” I said with a trembling, but still rage filled timber.

It was my fault, though. Not hers.  She didn’t scare me. I was just scared.

Before I could craft the words, however, she spoke them for me.

“I’m sorry…” she whispered. Dejected tears began pouring like endless rivers down her cheeks, and I drowned in them exactly like she had.

“Bunny,” I cried with her, “it’s not your fault. I’m sorry. I’m not being fair to you.”

She just kept crying, though. Her sobs got louder the more kindness that I showed her. I couldn’t blame her for the confusion I’d caused.

The clear blood of torn petals soaked the softness of her and made it heavy. I reached over and guided the poor girl back to me. I lifted the weight with careful hands. I wiped her make-up-stained tears aside and tried to find a way to reassure her.

“It’s okay, Bunny. I’m not mad at you,” I swore to her. The gentle words, like the kindness, had the opposite effect of the one I’d intended.

Once she spoke, though, I realized that the tears had hardly been about my actions. In fact, it seemed like a lot of her anger hadn’t been from my unspoken fears, but her own.

“Some stupid bitch told me that you kissed her!” she warbled.

“Well, that’s certainly not true,” I scoffed. Perhaps I would’ve been more articulate about how ridiculous of a notion it had been if I hadn’t been caught off guard by the accusation. But I was truly so confused that I didn’t know how else to express it in the moment.

“S-She told me…” my Bunny whispered between endearing and adorable hiccups despite the tears, “She told me that you slept with her after you kicked me out.”

The rage from earlier returned in full force. One hand gripped the steering wheel enough to void any blood from the space between skin and the bone of once broken knuckles. The monster within me bared its teeth in search of vengeance.

But then it was gone, subdued by the insistent sniffling of the most beloved part of myself. The stubborn leaves that clung to parched branches, beautiful in their resilience while facing the relentless cold.

She had been so beautiful, even then. Even when she had nothing left to give but broken whimpers, there was a light that shone so painfully bright.

I’d tried so hard to prove to her that I would never do anything to hurt her. I had promised her that very morning that, if given the options of losing everything to save her, I would take it without hesitation. I would bury myself under six feet and every regret I’d ever had if it meant that she would never feel pain again.

And there I was, causing it from both my own hand and another’s.

“Please don’t tell me you believe that,” I begged her. “I would never do that. I would never do that to you, Bunny.”

She nodded in agreement, yet she covered her head with her arms as she shouted, “I know, but I still got mad!”

Any relief from her believing in me was outweighed by how pitiful she looked. It wounded me deeply to see her withdraw from me like I would ever find fault in her righteous anger.

I had been angry, too. Angry that someone would dare to use me as a proxy to hurt her. Angry that, through my own desire to protect her, I had probably failed to give her the requisite knowledge to laugh in the face of such a distortion of the truth. 

I abandoned the steering wheel in favor of her. I carefully unfurled the dispirited flower until she revealed her brilliance to me. I comforted her the best way I knew how. I pulled her closer until her small hands clutched my shirt. That time when she nuzzled her face into me, I felt the cool dampness of her tears.

Exactly as I had promised her, I tried to bear the weight of her sadness so that she might be able to breathe again. Eventually, she continued to explain her own frustration. Her voice was small, shaky, and pure, just like the creature I knew her by.

“Who lies about that?” she asked, “Why would you ever do that to someone?”

My mind immediately went back to the young girl that had fantasized about my Bunny’s worst nightmares. The obstinate child who couldn’t take no for answer. The same broken girl that relied on her conventional beauty to hide the ugliness that rested just below the surface of perfectly painted skin.

I refused to let my hands turn to fists. I kept my palm splayed across her back so she could feel the steadiness, the safety of my embrace. I wouldn’t let any anger at her make its way to my darling. The same as before, that girl would not her what she wanted.

“She’s just jealous because she knows she’ll never be you.”

You, my bespoken proof of purpose among the mad. You, with a softness bestowed upon but still envied by the Gods. You, with your trembling hands holding up the weight of a world that will never deserve you.

You, I felt loudly enough to drown out the rest, You are to be perfect to be made into mere tragedy.

“I love you so much,” I said, infusing the words with the metaphors I would never have time to perfect. “I would never do anything to jeopardize your happiness.”

Except tell the truth, a dark voice recounted.

I ignored it’s taunting. I still had time to make it right, but in that moment, all I’d wanted to focus on was my Bunny’s barely perceptible smile.

“I love you, too…” she whispered.

It hadn’t been enough. I had been greedy after a difficult night, so I asked my darling girl for one final favor.

“Stop crying, sweetheart. It breaks my heart.”

“I can’t help it,” she admitted with some strange combination of a chuckle and a sob, “I’m very drunk.”

I laughed, too.

“Yeah, you are,” I laughed because it had been true. I wondered if I would ever get used to bearing witness to such unabashed vulnerability. In my heart, though, I knew I wouldn’t.

It would always be like this, I thought just before the shadows mirrored it back to me in their own words.

It won’t be different this time.

I turned to the night, illuminated only by flickering streetlights. Within the shadows, I saw the ghosts from the skeletons still crushing the tired muscle affixed between many layers of bone cages. My fears sneaked through the sinew and lingered just beyond the glass and metal that housed us.

It will be different this time, I swore.

“Come on. Let’s get you some tissues and water,” I said, definitively making up my mind.

The innocent girl, now free from the tears, lit the way for our return to peace with a smile.

“And cuddles and kisses?” she asked.

“Yes, lots of those,” I assured her.

As we made our way to the door, I fought the urge to turn back. I opened the weary wood that tried to keep us safe. I heard it’s wailing as it fought against the intrusion, it’s harsh sound acting like a warning that something was lurking just beyond the light.

After my Bunny made her way into the meager safety I could offer her, I stood for a moment on the other side of the threshold.

The death knell in my chest rattled louder. It begged me between its beating to look back before taking another step.

I ignored every instinct and followed her, instead.

But in the distance, I swore I heard a strangled cry through torn tusks.

Don’t think of a pink elephant.

(Tell me what you thought of this chapter here!)

Please consider liking, reblogging, or commenting on the fic if you are on the taglist. Otherwise, you are essentially asking me to take an extra step to include you while offering me absolutely NOTHING in exchange, which is a pretty shitty feeling.

Please send me an ask or a DM if you’d like to join the taglist. I also update on my Wattpad and my AO3 at the same time, if you prefer those notification settings.

TB&TB: @dashneydanger , @skiller0dani , @itsmytimetoodream , @dontcallmekittens , @a-girl-interupted , @phantombaby , @fightingdragonswithwho

#tb&tb #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid/you #spencer reid/reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid series #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds series #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds smut #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x reader

[dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3]

Luigi and the Beast Chapter 14

Hi!!!

Ha. Somehow, I have returned. How long will I remain here??? Hard to say honestly, this might be the last chapter I ever post of this fic, if I can't find motivation to finish it. But this chapter was like... 95% done, and someone commented on a few chapters of L&TB and I was like... hey why don't I at least finish the last chapter I have written, huh?? So, I did. And I posted immediately so I didn't forget, or run out of energy/desire to post later.

Anyway, it's late, and I want to start rereading this fic to see if I can figure out where to go from here, so I'll leave y'all with this. The fabled chapter 14 of L&TB. Warning, it's short (for me), about 3-4k words, since it's just an interlude from Mario. But... it's something at least? I do have part of a potential chapter 15 written, we'll see if I can finish it or not.

You can find the chapter here

Summary:

Luigi is a simple man who lives a simple life. Every day is the same as the last, with nothing ever happening that changes the status quo. While some may think his life is boring, Luigi enjoys it well enough, relishing in the simple monotony, not needing endless adventure and excitement to make his life have meaning.

Unfortunately, everything changes when he gets the news that his beloved brother, Mario, has been kidnapped by a fearsome beast in a far off kingdom that he’s never heard of before. To make matters worse, in his endeavor to save his brother, he ends up making a deal with the beast where he has to stay as a prisoner in his brother’s place. Will he be able to survive his captivity in the castle of a beastly king? Or will he find that maybe there is more to life than simplicity, and that sometimes the best things in life require a little risk?

Chapter 14

From the beginning

#Luigi #Bowser #Bowuigi #super mario bros #Bowuigi fic #My fanfic #Bowuigi fanfiction #Luigi POV #Bowser/Luigi #L&tB #Beauty and the Beast #Beauty and the Beast AU #Beauty and the Beast Bowuigi AU #Luigi and the Beast

[punksrespectpronouns]

I posted a new chapter of my touch starved Oliver Ritz fic just in time for Christmas eve, in case there's any other queer ppl spending christmas alone who need some comfort too<333. happy holidays y'all

#banquo rambles #tbs fanfic #oliver ritz #brytz #the college tapes #autistic oliver ritz

[bellzsad]

listening to this while working on my newtmas fic is everything.

ITS LITERALLY SO GOOD BC MOST OF IT IS BASICALLY MY MUSIC TASTE SO I ACTUALLY LIKE ALL OF THE SONGS

thanks maya on spotify ur a real one

#it slays #newtmas #fics‼️ #tmr #the maze runner #maze runner #tmr newt #tmr thomas #tmr tommy #dylmas #tmr fanfic #tmr fic #wattpad #spotify #playlist #dylan obrien #thomas brodie sangster #tbs #thomas sangster #dob #dobrien #newt x thomas #thomas x newt #the death cure #the scorch trials #scorch trials #death cure