#tbf I should probably be more concerned than I am

[bookofhappyescapes]

F: What’s happened to your arm?

Me: Oh, it’s about to dislocate

F: How, how do you know it’s about to dislocate???

Me: Trust me, you’d know

#me #sat there #on every kind of painkiller in existence #I am #acutely aware #of the pain #chronic illness #chronic pain #spoonie #joint issues #dislocation #dislocated joints #tbf I should probably be more concerned than I am #He probably had the correct reaction

[exeggcute]

hello! you seem to know a lot about skincare stuff, so i'm curious what products you use for general daily use? i also have adult acne and it's very annoying. i would also appreciate any lip moisturizing ideas if you have any. thank you, and hope your day's going well!

oh yes! although fair warning that I am not a skincare expert at all (I don't even understand half the lingo that people use when they talk about products lol) so take any of my recommendations with a grain of salt...

other than sunscreen, literally all of the stuff I use is either from paula's choice, the ordinary, or good old cerave. I don't even bother trying other brands at this point because I assume they'll just be overpriced junk—plus, you can get almost all cerave products and a good chunk of the ordinary's products at, like, target. I'd also note that you don't need to (and really should not) go out and buy a million things at once; I have a pretty good arsenal at this point but it took me a couple years to build it up by trying one or two new products at a time and seeing what I like.

both paula's choice and the ordinary have "shop by concern" sections on their websites, so if you want actual targeted advice about what to try then I would definitely defer to them lol. but for some specific examples of what I like:

diehard fan of cerave face soaps. they have a foaming pump and a non-foaming pump, depending on whether your skin is more oily or more dry. I mostly use the latter, but since noelle uses the former I'll occasionally steal a pump of the foamy one if I'm having an oily streak lol.

likewise with cerave moisturizer, specifically for your body, but also works great on your face as a final skincare step. will not make you break out. however (important info incoming!!!) the pump lotion is far inferior to the giant tub of lotion—the pump stuff is just kind of watery and sad in comparison. get the tub. you deserve it.

the ordinary hyaluronic acid 2% serum is another "help I have dry skin but also acne" lifesaver. you can apply it directly to (damp!!!) skin or (wet!!!) hair or put a couple drops in your lotion for extra-moisturizing lotion. but it works by drawing outside moisture into your skin/hair, so make sure you're not applying it to dry skin/hair or it can backfire and actually dry you out.

paula's choice enriched calming toner = dry skin savior.

for acne specifically, paula's choice pore-reducing toner fucking rules. it's not harsh at all so you can use it as much as you want. pairs well with paula's 5% AHA exfoliant (which only use when I'm really flaky, since it is a little harsh, but you can temper it by applying lotion right after).

the ordinary azelaic acid 10% suspension is a little tingly, so I only use it when I'm actively breaking out (which tbf is often lol), but it's a great at starving out pimples.

from the paula's choice CLEAR line, I looooove the purifying clay mask. I use this one a couple times a week as needed, usually right after I get out of the shower, and then I'll wash it off and do the rest of my face potions as usual. even if my skin is pretty clear I just like how tight and clean everything feels after. I also recently tried the CLEAR 5% benzoyl peroxide daily skin clearing treatment (only because I got it as a free gift... otherwise I would Not have tried a benzoyl peroxide product lmao. bad memories of childhood acne treatment snake oil shit.) and was surprised how much I liked it, although I've been applying it verrry sparingly. the bottle recommends applying it (1) to your entire face and (2) EVERY DAY, but I've had luck using it as a sporadic spot treatment. pairs well with the enriched calming toner.

I've also been using this prescription tretinoin cream off and on for the past year (from the dubious skincare-as-a-service online pharmacy "forhers" lol) and it's Good but not a miracle. my skin is already pretty sensitive so I try not to use it that often, but it would probably work a lot better if it did. also makes you photosensitive as hell so watch out (sunscreen is a must).

specifically for lip moisturizer, nothing beats plain old burt's bees lip balm imo but if you need something heavy-duty I do like the paula's choice lip and body treatment balm. it's a little greasy but has great staying power and the tub lasts forever!

also important to note. you should always do stuff in this order: wash your face (duh) > toner > other stuff > lotion/moisturizer. I know you're supposed to do the "other stuff" in a specific order if you're stacking multiple products but tbh I just kind of wing it lol.

#meanwhile my mom gave me a goop exfoliant for christmas and it was so nasty I had to throw it out

[sinsandsweetness]

hey t, 🍒 here!!! i’ve seen 🧸 and bby’s messages and it’s kinda made me feel a bit braver to let this out. i recently turned 18 (like 3 months ago) and my further geography teacher has been kinda perving on me 😭 like don’t get me wrong he’s not bad looking and i’d def SMASH but i feel like it’s a bit off since he’s taught me since i was 16. and it’s not just normal ish stuff like he calls me baby and babygirl (tbf tho he calls everyone nicknames, never that though), and he was helping me out with something the other day and his hand was on my thigh. i feel kinda grossed out but i kinda want him uhhh what do i do??? ts so wrong but like sorta hot ughhh do you have any advice because i feel super objectified but i really want his attention because his subject is important to me and also it does seem like he really cares abt me but i’m still really unsureeee

Hi sweetie <3

I want to be super super clear about this and I don’t want you to think I’m being mean in any way. I just have really strong feelings about your situation.

He’s grooming you.

The fact that he’s your teacher, while the situation might be hot in your mind, would be abusing his power over you. It’s beyond creepy that he has known you since 16 and now that you’re of legal age, is making uncomfortable moves on you. He’s an authority figure and he knows better than to be talking to you that way and touching you that way. I assume he’s in his 30s or 40s and when it comes to maturity, there is a HUGE difference between 18 and 30. Even between 18 and 21, I myself am an entirely different person than I was at 18. Your frontal lobe isn’t even fully developed by 25. I know that might not feel good to hear but it’s true.

To put it blunt, your teacher is a creep. If you were 30 and doing your masters or your phd, I might feel differently. But you’re not. You’re freshly 18 and he���s your teacher.

Don’t go for this. Don’t do it. Don’t romanticize it. Don’t convince yourself that you need to sleep with an older guy just because anyone else is. Or even just because you have convinced yourself that you want to. You said yourself that it grosses you out and makes you feel objectified. That is enough for me to see you don’t actually want this. You just want some form of attention and validation that sleeping with him would bring.

Spoiler alert, it won’t. In fact, it’ll probably make you feel worse. It will make you feel even more objectified.

I slept with guys back at 18 for the sole purpose of attention. Looking back now, there are things I did that I definitely wish I hadn’t. And they weren’t even any older than me.

And sweetie… you’re still a kid. Like you said, you can’t even drink yet. There’s no way for me to look at this situation and feel that sleeping with him or pursuing him is a good idea.

It’s not.

Next time he makes an uncomfortable comment or touches you like that, you should probably bring it up with your principle or some other trusted staff member.

I say all of this with immense kindness and concern in my heart.

Be safe my love <3

#🍒 anon #serious talks with t #inbox

[ethos-logos-pathos-blog]

wow hi!! i’m the entp 6w7 double lion and thanks sm for your detailed response.

there were 2 main issues i had that i should have expressed more clearly- the first is that i felt 6w7 sort of conflicted with the double lion stereotype of charging in and being pretty fearless. i think i project a fearless persona a lot because i feel i am pretty shy and breakable inside (i was an extremely sensitive kid), but i have trouble internally with claiming it as my own because i’m insecure about my previous shyness and feel fake about it, like i’m worried i’m smothering my “true self” (even though i seriously haven’t been shy in years!). i feel more anxious, fidgety, and flighty than how i imagine a double lion. but you’ve addressed that (although i Do feel i put on masks, but that might be a model because it is deeply exhausting to project facades in the long term)

the second and more prominent worry i had is about my mbti functions and lion primary. i’ve always felt i have low fi- i have a deeply unstable sense of self (which is why i am so clearly enamored with personality tests). my fe is by comparison much higher, i have people pleasing tendencies and sometimes sacrifice standing up for my ideals (although some ideals are non negotiable) in favor of maintaining social harmony.

i also find that my fi is weak in a way where i have trouble knowing my own beliefs- others can often convince me of new stances easily if they talk long enough. (tbf i also think i can convince other people of stuff if i talk long enough lol) long term, i ultimately still process and decide whether they feel right to me and if they stick. but i often agree with and see other perspectives very easily and have to ruminate on them.

things “feel right” to me like a lion, but that doesn’t line up with the low fi i know i have?? like would a lion really be so easily convinced of a new stance in the short term like that? i guess i just feel way more reliant on social validation than a lion like i also often have the sense that others automatically know better than me, like i trust myself less. i always find myself become more birdish when i’m questioning myself because it’s so hard to rely on an internal sense of right for me. so maybe i’m a bit burnt hahaha sorry for the big mass of disorganized thoughts! but i just wanted to thank you for your detailed analysis and follow up with you

Thank you so much for following up with me!!! I'm so sorry I didn't see this sooner (I haven't checked my blog recently)!

Okay, let's break this down.

On the surface, 6w7 does seem to conflict with the Double Lion stereotype, but once you get more involved with SHC and the wonderful little community we have, you'll come to find that Double Lions come in all kinds of flavors :) There are plenty of Double Lions that are cautious and have people-pleaser tendencies. It really just comes down to whether or not your moral priorities are internal and felt and whether or not your preferred reactionary approach is just being authentic to yourself.

So it does seem like you've got some built up negative emotions surrounding your personality, and that definitely indicates there might be some burning going on somewhere, but this still reads as Lion Secondary. The thing that stands out to me is that you're most concerned with authenticity. You're worried about whether or not your confident "persona" is true to yourself because you were shy when you were younger, but let me let you in on a little secret: I was one of those super confident kids that everyone looked up to as a leader, that everyone thought was fearless, but the truth was, I was probably just as scared and fragile and flighty as you were when you were younger. In reality, everyone is. No one is truly confident right from the get-go. We're all just trying to find our way, putting on a brave face in the hopes that it'll all work out in the end. A lot of times we throw on that brave mask and part way through we realize we really do have it all together and that's when it becomes real. So it's okay if sometimes you feel like you're acting stronger than you really are, we all do that to an extent, and I don't think it makes us any less authentic.

And maybe sometimes you do put on masks. Being a Lion Secondary - 100% true to yourself 100% of the time - just isn't always feasible as much as I'm sure you wish it was. There are probably times where you have to put on a bit of a performance or a mask just to accomplish a task or work through whatever situation is in front of you. It really just comes down to what you act like when you're at your most comfortable, how you would prefer to handle a situation given optimal circumstances. In those situations, are you putting on masks, using a crafted persona, or mirroring those around you? Or are you just getting to be yourself? As a Lion Secondary (especially a Double Lion), I'm sure you're thinking "Well of course, given the best circumstances, I'd be myself! Who wouldn't?!" So it might surprise you when I tell you that is a purely Lion Secondary thing. Bird secondaries like to craft personas. Their ideal circumstances would probably be a situation in which one of their crafted personas, such as Tutor!Bird for example, comes smoothly in handy. For a Badger, they mirror the energy/vibe/demeanor of the people around them, so their ideal scenario would probably involve getting to work with a group of people who's energy they really click with and getting to bounce off each other. For a Snake Secondary, like me, my ideal scenario is adapting to whatever situation is placed in front of me so well that no one can tell I walked in completely unprepared.

Now, onto MBTI and the Lion Primary conundrum.

So the unstable sense of self is something I think a lot of us struggle with, especially those of us drawn to personality tests as you've so aptly mentioned. And that's okay, or at least it's going to be okay. I think that SHC has done a lot for me; it's really helped me grow to understand myself in tangible way. I hope these personality tests will help you do the same. Of course, personality tests and communities are not therapy, and sometimes we just need to sit down with a professional and work some things out. I, personally, go to therapy, and, while it was one of the hardest decisions I ever made, it's certainly been one of the best. So I'm a big advocate for it.

Anyways, continuing on, Fi is not one of the ENTP's preferred functions, so it totally makes sense that you're more dependent on Fe (need for group consensus, people pleasing, etc.) Now, does this conflict with being a Lion Primary? I don't think so. When you mentioned maintaining social harmony, I did think for a moment that that does sound a little bit Badger, but I think you maybe have just had some stronger Badger voices in your life or environment perhaps? It seems less like something you feel on a deeply moral level, and more like something you feel is necessary for your safety in a way. Like, "I don't feel confident and safe in voicing my true beliefs in this situation, so I feel it's best to go along with how the group feels right now" instead of "These are my people, my community, and it would be wrong for me to not trust their moral judgement because they come first." The first one is a Lion Primary reasoning, and the second one is a Loyalist Primary (Badger or Snake) reasoning. You're an Enneagram 6, so I think it's very possible that you've learned social harmony is safer than social discord, and sometimes disagreements between people we're close to can set off alarms in our heads about personal safety because we relate them to a time of instability in our past where arguments and disharmony were actually a genuine threat to our safety.

"others can often convince me of new stances easily if they talk long enough"

Okay, I may be wrong, but I don't think this is a low Fi thing at all actually. I think this is a developed Fe, high Ti thing. Otherwise known as an ENTP special (although I might be the only one who calls it that lol). I really think this is just something us ENTPs do, and I don't think it has anything to do with morality. As you go on to say next, "i ultimately still process and decide whether they feel right to me and if they stick. but i often agree with and see other perspectives very easily and have to ruminate on them." I'm the exact same way, my friend. I think we ENTPs just really like to play around with ideas. As Wisteria has previously mentioned in some other posts, sometimes Lion Primaries like to do this thing called the "rubber duck method" where we like to drop ideas into the murky water of our minds and see if they float. I haven't collected enough information on MBTI as it intersects with SHC, but I wouldn't be surprised if ENTP Lion Primaries were the kind of people who do this the most. I think it just works really well with how we like to conceptualize and internalize moral systems. I kind of see it like this:

After being presented with an idea

Is the idea even a little bit possible?

If yes, then lets assume it's true.

Now let's explore it as a truth. How does it work? How does it interact with other truths? What are the weaknesses and strengths of this idea?

Does it feel right? How am I responding to it? How are other people responding to it? What final questions do I have about this?

Finally, do I actually agree with this idea and wish to incorporate it into my system or have I decided that it just doesn't hold up to scrutiny?

The important thing to note here is that you're still ruminating on how you feel about it. You consider your feelings on the matter valid input on whether or not something really is true. From what I understand, true Bird Primaries just don't see it that way. They have feelings about issues, obviously, but they personally value their logic and provable truths over their personal truths. It feels irresponsible to them, even, to choose their personal feelings over what they believe is a logical choice. I think that fact that you don't trust yourself, so you're trying to use a Bird morality and it obviously isn't making you happy, is just more proof that you really are a Lion Primary. I think there probably is some burning here, but I think you're starting to become conscious of it, which is a good thing because that means you can work to slowly unburn and start to trust yourself more. Remember, Primaries are supposed to make you feel good. So when you're trying to stay truly Bird because you don't trust your internal compass, and it's not making you feel good, that's a sign that it's not who you truly are.

I want to thank you again for sending me this ask, and I really, really hope this helped a little bit. You're actually my first ask ever, so I was super excited to see this in my inbox! Also please don't be afraid to keep sending asks or comment on this post if you want to keep this discussion going or have more questions; I promise I'm having a great time discussing SHC, MBTI, and Enneagram with you :)

#SHC #mbti #enneagram #Double Lion #ENTP #6w7 #entp 6w7 double lion #ask me

[blackcatanna]

The Tale of the Demon Arms of Horniness Part 4(?)

Finally, we have arrived at Edo Blossoms! Things should be getting real weird(er) soon so I'm looking forward to that... Honestly, I don't like Iba's route, really... I prefer him when he shows up in other people's routes being a li'l shit... Anyway, we'll see how this goes.

"A selfish, ruthless ex-Captain of the Shinsengumi, Kanryusai Takeda," ENTER BASTARD! :')

"Iba, as a descendant of a famous sword dojo, had a reputation to uphold." Fair enough, makes sense. "Thus," uh-huh... "He became a Fury and fused a Demon's arm to his shoulder" o_e -_- I'm sure... Uh... Actually, no. This logic makes no sense at all, especially when you consider that he is forbidden to engage in human conflict in exchange for his demon powers. Historical Iba didn't let losing an arm stop him (not that I would blame him if it had)!

ANYWAY, Chapter 1: A Horny Spectre Looks: in which maybe Iba and Takeda start to get intrusive horny thoughts about our heroine, maybe not, I don't remember how soon that shit kicks off...

"Huh? Why are you thanking me?" It's a fair question (sorry, Chizuru) "If it were just me handling the house affairs, I'd no doubt lose my mind" Awe! Get you, Chizuru, being useful! We stan! And good for Shimada acknowledging her domestic work... Now I am concerned about how much thankless work she may have done back in Kyoto... What does a page even do? Also, was she paid??? I hope so but I doubt it X_X

"I can't look at you without beaming with pride," new dad alert!

"Neither Nagakura nor Harada could emerge from their funk after suffering serious, devastating trauma from the battle," o_e is "funk" a poorly judged euphemism for ptsd???

"Iba, whom I hadn't seen" *flips table* then why the fuck am I here??

Who the fuck ever even uses this medicine? Players of this game, I mean!

"Iba exalted over the steaming tea cup," XD Bless him...

"has that cretin, Takeda," XD FFS IBA! Poor Takeda :')

Iba clearly knows something bad... WHY DOES NOBODY TELL ME ANYTHING???? REVEAL YOUR SECRETS, SLUT!!! (Omfg, I am turning into Miki X_X)

"Spending time with you is such a luxury," BLEURGGH "That it would be a waste to let my mind wander so easily," >:( JUST TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON! STOP TRYING TO DEFLECT WITH PRETTY WORDS >:(

"I wondered what thoughts plagued Iba's mind..." But I guess we can't just ASK because that would be RUDE and UNLADYLIKE -_-

"A feeling of guilt bubbled in my stomach." Repeat this phrase every few lines until the game ends...

COOL, we're going to Yukimura's home! Thankfully, we already know that Kodo's a creep so he won't ambush us! Hopefully, I am correct in recalling that weird horniness ensues...

"..." "Iba...?" Clearly, there is something wrong with this boi! Maybe look into that?? Omg, is it the horniness?!? I BET IT'S THAT! HERE IT COMES, FINALLY (seriously, who thought that this was a good narrative device??? -_- )

"something told me what Iba was concerned with was far more serious..." It's his boner, Chizuru... I guess that a haunted arm, brain and penis is pretty concerning...

"He furrowed his brow in quiet contemplation." XD If I wrong, I am going to look very stupid but if I'm right, this is hilarious!

"I darted my eyes around the yard, hoping to pin down what might've distracted him," XD Tbf, it must be very distracting having the ghost of some guy who's arm you've nicked constantly whispering horny thoughts at you (or however demon-induced-horniness works...) "but I was too nervous to ask him myself." ... Ngl, for once, this is probably for the best (assuming that I am right. I have played this route once before, of course. I feel like no sane person could predict this shit blindly)

"I felt compelled to comfort him." Well, Chizuru, I can think of an easy way for you to do that...

Ooh! I rlly like this musique! :)

"The melancholy in his eyes felt thicker than the dust around us. It was like I was speaking with a shadow." Chizuru should take up work as a goth poet.

"Did something happen, Iba...?" Ya, somebody chopped off his arm and replaced is with a creepy demon arm that wants him to fuck you... I can certainly forgive you for not predicting that last part... You know what, there are SO MANY THINGS which would make more sense! Sad because disillusioned with Shogun. Sad because realises that all his friends are doomed to die in a futile war in which he cannot participate. Sad because lonely because of constant veneer of perfection which no one has ever seen past. Sad because forever barred from using his carefully honed skills for anything which may benefit humanity. Sad because knows his shogunate friends won't understand why he has to abandon them to their fate. Sad because unwittingly unleashed superpowered Takeda on the world after losing his cool one time. I mean, there's so many things going on in Iba's life right now! All of them more interesting than a horny arm!

"You aren't as responsive as you normally are." -_- Perfect boy is broken so let's poke him, I guess...

"... Forgive me." :( Chizuru should kiss him >:( sad boy needs kiss! >:D

"the shogunate's Chief Vassal and I haven't exactly seen eye to eye." Could it be... Not horny???

Awe, Iba's worried about Hijikata bae and upset with the shogunate officials for mistreating him <3

"they wallow in their vanity." Well, this is a better reason to be withdrawn than because horny. Perhaps I misjudged this game but I am not so sure just yet... -_-

"Hijikata will figure something out" omfg, even my dialogue options are leaving everything up to poor Hiji-mama X_X Seriously, does he have to do fucking everything???

"But that smile is more like it. You're beginning to look like the Iba I remember." ... O_e Is Chizuru using toxic masculinity against Iba? Bad feminist: Yukimura Chizuru! Let him be sad, dammit! >:(

"You know, all of that explains so much..." "Iba shied away from me all of a sudden," Oh no... Is there more? Is this it?

OH FUCK, "To tell you the truth, something else has ensnared me. Something for which you may not be prepared..." OH FFS! I ALMOST LET MY GUARD DOWN BUT HERE IT FUCKING COMES X_X

"Huh? What else is there...?" Well, I can think of a few things but none of them include THIS

"Iba reached for me all of a sudden." X_X There it is. Fucking knew it. Dammit, Iba, your boner killed the nice music!

"And then..." "...!" X_X

"Iba tackled me, pinning me to the floor before I could react, kicking up a cloud of dust that tickled my nose." XD What an image!

Okay, now romantic music is playing but Chizuru looks scared shitless... Honestly, I am on the side of the music here! Chizuru, he is your love interest! Please summon some enthusiasm! He's pretty hot!

"I trembled underneath him." Understandable if horny, not if scared. Why would you suddenly be scared of Iba? Maybe she can sense demonic possession but I call bs... Honestly, I feel like this game just wants her to be all disgustingly pure and virtuous and shit. CHIZURU, WE HAVE READ YOUR EPIC THIRST PASSAGES ABOUT HIJIKATA!!! WE KNOW YOU'RE A THIRSTY BITCH LIKE THE REST OF US!!!

KISS HIM >:D

"his eyes had seemed more ravenous than passionate." Seems fine, KISS HIM!!! >:D

Seriously, how is she not even a little turned on by this? Don't you fancy this man? If not, why the fuck are we even here?!

"As I braced myself for my lips to touch--" XD sexy. Plot twist: Iba's demon arm is totally chill but he tried to kiss her and she wasn't into it and so needed to manufacture an excuse to save face. Takeda's in on it, of course. Because why the fuck not? They're boyfriends now. Makes more sense than whatever this shit is.

ANYWAY, yeah, sorry Iba! Even after all the romancing you did in Kyoto and all your childhood memories, guess she still isn't into you.

"I-It's okay!" -_- not terribly helpful or genuine sounding. Why bother, seriously...

"guilt began to well inside of me," -_- uuuuuuggggghhhhh

"My heart was pounding at a frightening pace," yet, for all the wrong reasons -_-

"Iba, a figure of propriety and class, was the last person I'd ever expect to force himself onto me..." WOAH. That's quite a fucking leap, Chizuru! He made to kiss you, you weren't into it, he did not kiss you! Chill the fuck out! Do any of the other guys ask before kissing you on their routes? I haven't played them all but I know that plenty don't.

HONESTLY, THIS WHOLE THING IS SO STUPID. LET PEOPLE BE HORNY ON THEIR OWN.

I couldn't even enjoy this even if I was into this route because Chizuru is so visibly uncomfortable. Seriously, WHO IS THIS FOR?!? People who like to see a woman uncomfortable in sexual situations because it confirms her "purity"??? I am TROUBLED.

Like, at least let her be into it even if she refuses him due to impropriety or literally any reason she likes!

"What was he planning to do...?" Well, seeing as he could physically have done anything he wanted due to his superior strength, it's safe to assume that he did not intend to assault you! Looks like he wanted to kiss you but you weren't into it so he backed off.

Tbf, I can see how this would be uncomfortable. It's always difficult when someone reveals strong feelings which aren't reciprocated

But I still can't believe I played through the entirety of Iba's fucking Kyoto Winds route only for Chizuru to still not be into him... -_- (is this game trying to slut shame me??? "Only a SLUT kisses after the umpteenth date!" "No no! Only a SLUT even acknowledges that they were ever on a date, even when her friend aggressively points it out!" Like, what are these Victorian values that Chizuru seems to embody... No one is like that! It's an ideal of womanhood which exists only in the minds of Victorian vicars! Or, at least, their sermons...

"I thought it better not to ask." Yeah, this doesn't seem important.

Oh, and bloodlust too... Chizuru really said, "I'll let you drink my blood straight from the source but I won't give you a kiss even though you are my love interest and most important guy in the world to me" XD

"A-All good..." Uh-huh... -_-

"Could this be..." PUNISHMENT FOR DARING TO BE HORNY INSIDE A HAKUOKI GAME??? (Better send some goblins after Saito in that one bloodlust scene of his too)

Wow, somehow, the whiteness of his hair only reinforces how pale his skin is.

Bitch, you know for sure that you are not going to use that fucking medicine. Actually, Chizuru might. She seemingly not that into poor Iba. (Side note: when I wrote "poor", my autofill wanted to add "Takeda" XD poor poor Takeda).

Honestly, I feel like Chizuru has her own horny demon living inside her. Its name is Anna and she mostly ignores me >:( but I can make her let I a drink her blood! Tiny revenge...

One of these days, I'm just going to keep making him endure it and watch him lose his mind but I cba today.

"Come here. Take a drink of my blood." XD Why is this funny to me?

"Sweat dripped down the sides of his contoured cheekbones." BITCH, I SEE YOU!!! DON'T YOU DARE TRY AND TELL ME YOU DON'T WANT TO KISS THIS FUCKER!!!

Pretty sure that Chizuru's not completely asexual, based on the routes I have played (though that would be valid) but it's hard to tell since she never really gets to say what she wants... I guess that's the problem with being an otome heroine. Right now, she's possessed with the spirit of a horny goblin but maybe I should ask one of my ace friends to try this game and see what they think... Also, I don't think that I am particularly horny! I identify as demisexual... But I do occasionally do things which some may consider scandalous... But I haven't had sex in well over two years and I'm fine with that... Well, they say that sexuality is a spectrum but I think that it has many, many dimensions... Wow, this got completely sidetracked... This game has got me thinking about assumptions to question, which is a whoooole other rabbit hole and so I shall CEASE.

ANYWAY, despite my urges to Chizuru to kiss Iba, I am really not feeling him... I feel like I would have a huge crush on him if I met him irl but his route is so stale, devoid of chemistry and full of bizarre narrative choices that it leaves me completely cold :(

"What you s-suggest... is s-sickening!" Yaaas! That's right, qween! My ideas are always sickening, no?

"I s-simply have no desire to drink y-your blood." Orlly?

"Promise me that y-you won't--urnh--look back at me until I finish..." Ugh, isn't giving you my blood enough for you?

"You mustn't watch me d-defile your precious body with my g-ghoulish needs..." Firs of all, what a fucking sentence. Secondly, Iba, don't be so selfish; maybe she is into that! Thirdly, I am sensing a fucking purity kink here and I am sooooo not into that XD

"he tepidly stuck his tongue out to lick." Omfg, you're doing it now! May as well enjoy it! -_-

"the pleasure I took in soothing his agony was enough of a distraction." I feel like this is a specific kink but I don't have a word to mind...

"I noticed myself blushing, and felt ashamed for having even fantasized about what had happened." NO, GIRL!!! DON'T SLUT SHAME YOURSELF! LET YOURSELF BE HORNY FOR IBA! YEEESSSSS!!! 3:D

"Or, did Iba have feeli--No. Thinking about it could only hurt me," y tho? -_- Of course he has feelings for you! He has stated as much before! Y U SO DENSE (stupid puritanical womanly ideal >:( )

"We'll all be buried by the time we're done waiting for you." XD seems unlikely, giving Yukimura's character but I always appreciate some good Hijikata snark :')

"I barely recognised any of the Shinsengumi men in their new attire." ... Hmm... Seems unlikely...

"Edo was an unsafe place for a young woman," ah yes, fair enough. I am sure that many thugs, ronin, thieves, drunkards, etc. lurk about :) "what with the Fury Corps on the prowl..." ... FFS GUYS!!???? OMFG!!! CAN YOU MAYBE NOT UNLEASH A SQUAD OF BLOODTHIRSTY, UNDEAD SOLDIERS ON THE CITY?!??? My sympathy with Itou only grows the more I play this game... -_-'

"is this your first time visiting Hachiro's place...?" Alas, yes, since Chizuru seemingly does not wish to hook up with him for some reason... Maybe she also thinks that their chemistry is terrible...

Oooh! Iba is a rich kid, of course! Let's see if his HOOSE lives up to Hijikata's implications...

Like most routes, this is making me love Hijikata more than the guy who's route I'm on... I want to stay with bastard mum, not go live in a gilded cage with Hachiro the Horny!

"a huge, lavish mansion." XD of course!

Hijikata is LOVING THIS!

"She's just wondering how she's gonna fit all her stuff inside, is all." Omfg, this is something that my Mum would say to me as a roast because I really do have a fuckload of stuff (gotta commit to that mad gothic wizard aesthetic)

"I was entranced by the sheer size of Iba's estate." Enough to fuck him? All I want to know is whether Iba has style and taste... Someone get Miki! And Kimigiku! Sen too! Miki's the resident fashion bitch, Kiku is fabulous and Sen seems to be smart enough to care about such important things!

"You may not recall him, but Motoyama will be joining us" XD poor Motoyama! Of course I remember him! He was very memorably scared shitless of the Shinsengumi!

Motoyama, why are you such a fucking mess? Do you have a crush on Hijikata or something???

"Sounds like you can relax a little bit." Hm. We'll see..

"your time'll come." Nope. Demon arm!

"She's a troublemaker." XD Only in the most passive sense!

"he sneered coyly" omfg, I need to see this XD

"See how sweet she is, Iba?" I can hear you X_X

MOTOYAMA FFS "This is the ample opportunity to revel in the pleasures of a honeymoon without anyone else to impede on your celebration!" WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS COMING FROM??? TOO LITTLE TOO LATE! The romance was extinguished before the conclusion of the first game, like a candle deprived of oxygen! Where was your aggressive shipping then?!

"HER? As my wife?!" Um, EXQUEEZ ME!

"I'm unfit to serve as a husband at this time!" XD the fuck does that mean? Bitch, you ain't got shit else to do! You're not allowed to interfere in human conflicts... In fact, you're SUPPOSED to be stopping The Evil Egg and Takeda completing world domination but, since you cba, now is the perfect time to learn how to husband! (Do we think Iba knows what a clitoris is? I vote No). But seriously, it'd be nice to see Iba try to be vulnerable with someone for once. Motoyama can give Iba and Chizuru couples' therapy!

"Well, well. It seems both of you are stuck on the 'Woe is me, I'll never be good enough for the other' stage of your relationship, eg?" ... Did the writers just commit seppukku???

"I have to admit, I'm rather jealous..." Awe, Motoyama, maybe take your own advice and admit to Hijikata that you want him to step on you...

"With a gleeful smile, Motoyama pranced out of the room." XD This bitch! I love him! He is such a queen <3 This is what Iba deserves for being a li'l shit in Souma's route...

"Motoyama has a terrible sense of humor." *flashback to him drunkenly climbing a tree to try and reach the Moon* what are you taking about? He's a fucking genius!

"the two of us ate supper together in silence" is this supposed to be romantic tension? To me, it just looks like two people with nothing to say to each other...

"I found it impossible to sleep, as my attention was drawn to the room's extravagant décor," finally, a relatable moment! Mmmm... Pretty things...

"...I wondered if Iba was having any difficulty sleeping." XD Oh, I am sure he was...

"Hope you don't mind but I prepared some breakfast for you. Allow me to arrange the table for you." ... Chizuru deciding to play Motoyama's game, it seems... X_X IF I FORCE MY FOOD, SERVICE AND EVEN MY LITERAL BLOOD ON HIM, WILL HE LOVE ME THEN???

They're fucking married and I hate it.

Iba is a better Not-Husband than Kazama though... That fucking guy...

"allow me to manage all of your minutiae, including the welcoming of guests and post." OMFG STOP. FUCK OFF. STOP FORCING YOURSELF INTO HIS LIFE. I hate this...

HE HAS STAAAFFFFFF!!!

GIRL, YOU ARE NOT HIS WIFE!!!

IBA, YOU FUCKING IDIOT, DO NOT ALLOW THIS! IF YOU WANT A WIFE, WIFE THIS GIRL!

"I'm not sure I could stand to let any other woman cook for me again." Motoyama is trying his best but I feel like I am trapped in a domestic nightmare... This is weird... Chizuru is throwing her WIFEness at Iba like crazy and he's not acting like a husband in return. It's weird. Chizuru, stop. Back off a little, please!

"Say, why don't all of us go out for a drink?" Please?

LETTER OF DOOM (probably, knowing this game)

Nice to see Iba being angry and upset for a change! Let it all out, queen!

Okay, too far... "Iba began swinging his sword wildly," Perhaps if you let your emotions out more frequently in a controlled manner, this kind of outburst wouldn't happen (and Takeda might still be human... And you, too)

"Erm, why are you so upset...?" ... FFS CHIZURU X_X

"The shogunate ruthlessly feeds them to the dogs!" Yeah, this is pretty horrible, ngl. Genuinely curious as to what inspired such loyalty to the Shogunate in particular from the Shinsengumi...

"They sneer upon the Shinsengumi from their ivory towers," :'( Cruel and stupid, truly an unfortunate combination.

"What could I suggest that could substitute a possibly once-in-a-lifetime opportunity ...?" Well, you could send him to interfere with the demons getting involved in the conflict on the opposing side, you could finally go and fuck up Kodo, Takeda and the other furies, you could set about repairing the damage done to Sen's village, get to know the demons better, now that you are part of their world...

I wish Takeda would show up. I miss him...

"you can't just quit now " yeah, he should've quit as soon as he acquired the demon arm, gone and done something useful...

"I am in no way permitted to use my power against any humans." Dumbass, there'll be plenty of furies for you to slice.

"So, that leaves me with few suitable opponents, notably Takeda, Kodo, and... Whatever Fury cohorts they have in their company." Also, Kazama and friends. So maybe get on that asap, yes? Before they kill more people!

Omfg, my cat just coughed up a fucking enormous hairball on my Mum's cream carpet so I am going to call it a night... I'm probably at the end of a chapter but I need to deal with this! FFS PERCY XD Tbf, he is very fluffy.

#hakuouki #hakuoki #iba hachiro #no Takeda this time :( #Percy the cat #omfg I am so not looking forward to cleaning this up X_X #if I was Iba then I could ask my STAFF to help #or my overenthusiastic wannabe wife

[writesowhatnext]

wouldn’t bet on it // seamus finnigan

Summary: Seamus isn’t just your boyfriend, he’s also the cattiest, judgiest best friend you could’ve asked for

Request: Can you do a fluffy Seamus Finnigan imagine during 6th year where Seamus is dating a Pureblood so she gets forced to go to Slughorn's party and takes Seamus but they ditch early to celebrate their 2 year anniversary (they got together at the Yule Ball)? Also if you wanted to, you can include that they've been watching/giving advice about all the relationship drama between their friends

A/N: I sort of kinda made the reader a non-Gryffindor so big oops but tbf slytherin!reader is my favourite thing as I am completely biased also this is like a combo of the books and films bc I needed a refresher

Reader: unspecified, non-Gryffindor

Warnings: swearing I’m sorry, kissing

If anyone had looked at you and Seamus at that moment, they would’ve said that you were a pair of gossipy bitches and whilst you would never actually knowingly agree with them, you had to acknowledge the element of truth in the accusation.

“Two galleons says Granger is thinking about Weasley,” you whispered, tilting your head towards him, trying to hide your smile behind your glass. You hated these stupid parties, or anywhere, really, where you were invited because you were a pureblood and then had to spend time with other purebloods. However, you did enjoy picking apart the relationships of the school and more than anything, you enjoyed being at Seamus’ side.

“Two galleons? You’re mad. No way. You can’t tell what she’s thinking,” he insisted, shaking his head and leaning backwards.

“Oh really?” you asked, turning towards him with raised eyebrows and a smile. He frowned at you; eyes trained on your face. “Watch and learn, my love, watch and learn.”

You both turned to watch Hermione Granger disappear behind the curtain next to you, hiding from her date, the Quidditch meathead, McLaggen. He’d been handsy and annoying all night and whilst he was a complete idiot, she had invited him. In your book, as long as he wasn’t an arse, she’d just have to cope. Almost seconds later, Harry Potter walked towards you, frowning. He looked at you and Seamus; the both of you conspiratorially standing in the corner of the room, as thick as thieves, watching him. He was slightly caught off guard by your stare but shook his head, remembering Hermione. When he too disappeared behind the curtain, you and Seamus both leant toward it, eavesdropping.

“Hermione, what are you doing?” Harry asked, standing in front of her. “And what happened to you?”

She sighed and you glanced smugly at Seamus behind you. He poked you in the side gently in response.

“I’ve just escaped-“

“McLaggen.” You and Seamus whispered at the same time.

“I mean,” she carried on, looking very concerned. “I’ve left Cormac under the mistletoe.”

You tried to contain your snort, shaking your head at the image of that imbecile abandoned in a doorway.

“Cormac?” Harry frowned and you looked up at Seamus to see the same distasteful expression. “That’s who you invited?”

“I thought it would annoy Ron the most…” she admitted, running her hands up and down her arms.

With that, you circled back to face Seamus, a cocky smirk on your lips. Surprised at first, his expression turned rather unimpressed as his shoulders deflated.

“Two galleons it is,” he sighed, clenching his jaw as he placed his hand on your waist, moving so he was stood behind you. You leant into him, sipping from your drink as Longbottom meandered around in a gaudy white uniform with a tray of drinks. Whoever gave Longbottom a tray of glasses, you thought, did not know him well.

“Don’t worry,” you mused, placing a light kiss on the underside of Seamus’ jaw before turning back around. “That can be your compensation for coming with me to this.”

“Pfft. This party may be a load of rubbish,” as he leant closer to you, you could feel his breath on your cheek. You both looked over at Zabini in a group with some other Slytherins. “And full to the brim with self-important tools.”

“Is that really the end of the sentence? I’m sure there should be a ‘but’ in there somewhere.”

His chest vibrated as he chuckled.

“Couldn’t let anyone else come with ‘ya, could I? Have ‘em steal you away from me.”

“Nobody here is interesting enough.”

“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Don’t get used to it,” you smiled, wetting your lips cheekily as he gripped your waist with both hands, jabbing his fingers into your sides to make you laugh.

You would’ve drawn quite a bit of attention had Filch not stumbled in holding Malfoy by the scruff of his neck.

“Someone’s in trouble,” you muttered.

“When you thought it couldn’t get worse.”

Although you both loved hearing the classic school gossip and enjoyed nothing more than Malfoy getting berated, when you turned to look at him, you could tell you were both thinking the same thing.

“Wanna wag?” you asked, an eyebrow raised with a smiled. He looked at Snape, who had appeared out of nowhere to scold Malfoy, and then back at you. He watched the way you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth in amusement before he kissed his teeth.

“Come on then, you rebel.”

Avoiding Snape and Filch expertly (practice making perfect), you both snuck out from the party, walking around the castle in your evening dress. You probably should’ve been quieter given the time and the fact that you weren’t where you were supposed to be, but when you were with Seamus, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You always ended up having a riot.

“Have you heard about Dean and Ginny Weasley?” you asked, letting go of his hand and walking ahead into the courtyard. The moonlight cast an iridescent light onto your skin and Seamus stopped short, watching you, remembering the last time he’d seen you dressed like this.

“Anybody there?” you waved your arm at him, noticing his glazed-over eyes.

“What are you on about?”

He walked closer to you, out into the courtyard, almost stumbling on the uneven cobblestones.

“I said,” you made a face as you wound your arms around his neck. “Have you heard about Dean and the Weasley girl?”

He didn’t even try to seem interested as his hands found your waist and pulled you into him.

“You look just as beautiful as you did two years ago.”

You bit your lip at his words, remembering the Yule Ball like it was yesterday.

“You look awfully handsome, too,” you brought one of your arms around his head, pressing your thumb into his eyebrows. He just stared at you, his eyes shining, completely unfazed by your movement. “I’m glad they finally grew back.”

“You cheeky-“

You tried to pull away, knowing his reaction, but his arms held you in place as he poked at your sides. A loud, cackling laugh filled the courtyard as you pushed against his chest to get away from his ticking hands.

“Shhh,” he insisted, his expression mocking. “Or we’ll get caught, won’t we?”

You made a face at him, sticking your tongue out. He smiled at that, the same charming smile you remembered from the ball.

“It’s been two years since you first kissed me,” you said proudly, slotting your thumb behind his ear and cupping his neck. You scratched his head softly with your fingernails and he leant into your touch.

“Can’t believe I didn’t do it sooner to shut you up-“ You gasped, an angry pout pulling at your lips. “Y/N, love,” he said, unable to contain his grin. “I love you, but you’re a massive gobshite.”

You crinkled your nose as your mouth twitched in amusement and you couldn’t help but pinch the back of his neck lightly, drawing a disgruntled huff from him.

“What I can’t believe is that you haven’t kissed me yet tonight.”

“Not for lack of wanting, believe me.”

“Crack on with it then.”

When he kissed you then, his hands pulling you even closer, you were reminded of how confident he’d seemed when he asked you to the Yule Ball, the way he’d told you that you looked ‘grand’ when he first saw you that night, his barely contained nerves when he’d tried to dance with you. It reminded you of every time you’d teased him about his explosive tendencies and every time you’d kissed before and in the moonlight, it felt like everything you’d ever wanted in life. He’d only just opened his mouth for the fun stuff when you heard Filch across the courtyard.

“What is going on here?” he shouted, already hobbling after you. You barely had time to remove your lips from his when a breathless laugh escaped your mouth.

“Bollocks,” Seamus whispered before he was already off, grabbing your hand and pulling you with him as you ran away from Filch, your laughter tumbling behind you into the open sky of the courtyard.

#Harry Potter imagine #harry potter #seamus finnigan #seamus finnigan imagine #seamus finnigan x reader #writing #imagine

[skullsandwineglasses]

The Rebel Princess First Impressions (episode 16)

My first drama of 2021 and my first drama in 4 months. 

AvenueX’s harsh review piqued my interest, especially when she mentioned the high production quality of the drama and the list of talent that was behind the production of the drama. So I went into this drama knowing nothing about the plot, having high expectations for the production, and no expectations about the characters because of AvenueX’s criticism. I’ve always respected Zhang Ziyi because of her dedication to the art and her legendary filmography, but I wouldn’t call myself a fan. I agreed with AvenueX; ZZY has an aura and elegance that’s meant for mature, cold characters, so I was wary of her playing a Mary Sue who’s innocent and doted upon. 

I first saw Zhou Yi Wei when he played Zhao Liying’s classy, composed, protective, and rich older brother in My Glamourous Times. He’s not classically handsome, but there’s a measured confidence in the way he carries himself that exudes masculinity, and that’s also balanced by his more feminine qualities like his quiet, airy voice and his full lips. He also has an intense gaze that feels like he’s looking straight into the soul of whoever he’s speaking to. 

I also watched ZZY and ZYW’s collaboration on I Am an Actor, so I knew that the chemistry would be there between them. 

Okay, so enough preamble. Spoilers ahead. 

First 8 episodes:

I didn’t mind ZZY playing a young teenager. Yes, it does take a bit of getting used to, but kind of like the CGI in The Irishman, but it very soon doesn’t become distracting and you manage to suspend your disbelief. I came in expecting the worse, like an exaggerated caricature, but ZZY actually pulls it off quite well. Since this is a coming-of-age drama, it’s a given that the first few episodes are going to be about a main character who starts off as innocent, naive, and carefree. I’d rather have the main actress portray these young scenes than to have a completely differ actress do this. The first few episodes are meant to anchor you emotionally into the drama and to empathize with the FL. If you introduced ZZY after 8 episodes, you wouldn’t really emotionally connect with her since the trauma that catapults the character into maturity was experienced by the younger actress. So for me, the age was a non-issue. I was concerned that it would be cringey, but it wasn’t. It’s called acting ffs. Why can people play older characters when they’ve never been older, but people can’t play younger characters, even though they were once that age. I forgot how pretty ZZY is though. 

Sure, the FL is a Mary Sue, but I didn’t find her annoying. Maybe it’s because ZZY makes it work. Who knows. Essentially, everyone dotes in her, every man has a crush on her. She’s spoiled, she’s kind. She’s perfect. Her lineage is incomparable and powerful (even if a little incestuous). Not to mention a little corrupt as well. I guess she wasn’t annoying because she doesn’t try hard to be righteous. She has a privileged life and she’s just living with what she’s given. She only asks that she is able to have a love marriage instead of an arrange marriage. Typical, but understandable. 

My complaint is that I didn’t feel any chemistry between her and Zi Tan, the second prince. Unlike Ming Lan and Yuan Ruo in Story of Ming Lan, Awu’s first love just didn’t capture the imagination. Maybe it’s because ZYW’s Xiao Qi stole the show from early on, which made it hard to jump on board Zi Tan’s ship. 

Awu and Xiao only had a handful of interactions, but their chemistry is palpable (ZYW’s gaze is just....ugh swoon). They first meet that night at the festival where she unknowingly insults him and then he saves her and Zi Tan later that night. Then a couple episodes later, he saves her again when she falls off the roof during her escape from the crown prince. They only cross paths briefly 2 times in 4 episodes, and one of those times they weren’t even talking to ech other because she faints, and yet he’s totally taken by her. He’s a goner. But he know she’s out of his league, and so he keeps his feelings to himself, even though he can’t stop thinking about her and stays up at night staring at the moon remembering their 2 encounters. Talk about a slow burn. Insta love shouldn’t work, but again, it does here. 

I like Xiao Qi’s character. He doesn’t speak much, he doesn’t emote much, but he’s not the typical cold, distant, irritable ML from idol dramas. Xiao Qi isn’t afraid to love. He’s tender, gentle, composed, and calm. The sexual tension between him and Awu from when he rescued her to when they consummate their marriage is through the roof. He takes on the role of a husband by taking care of her, entrusting her fully with managing his household, puts her above everything else in his life, and always takes her side. He closes the distance between them while still giving her space, respecting her, and waiting until she’s ready. Even though he initially thought of himself ill-suited for her, once they’re married, he slowly wins her over. Episode 13 is obviously my favourite because that’s when Awu finally warms up to him. 

Honestly, this relationship only works because of the smitten looks that Xiao Qi gave her that night when they first met at the festival. Those few intrigued/amused looks carry this relationship for 13 episodes. And I love how he brings up that night again when he’s caring for her after he rescued her from Helan Zhen. 

Speaking of Helan Zhen, I find it funny how it sounds like Helian Zheng from The Rise of Phoenixes, and it’s played by the same actor too (edit: NOT the same actor. This is Yuan Hong who played Jin Si Yu in TROP, and a more veteran actor than than the one who played Helian Zheng. Should have known that ZZY would pick Justin Hong who has much more acting experience. TBF tho, with the facial hair, they look similar) and has similar costuming. 

In terms of the political storyline, it’s not bad, but it’s not great, so I see AvenueX’s criticism here. I haven’t watched too many political intrigues, but so far, nothing has been overly surprising or shocking. 

The level of acting and production definitely lives up to expectations, although I have noticed some jumpy cuts. Some of the night scenes in the palace also look kind of CGI though, especially the sky. 

General Song is great. The ML always has a loyal sidekick. The FL also always has a loyal maid, and a disloyal maid who betrays her. In this sense, the drama is quite formulaic. 

It’s also nice to see Kara Hui and Angie Chiu act opposite each other. Angie Chiu is obviously speaking cantonese, and it looks like Kara Hui also speaks cantonese when she has a scene with Angie Chiu, maybe to help her get immersed into the scene. 

Overall Impressions: My basic self is only watching this for the romance, which so far has been slow and minimal (but really good). Xiao Qi is completely absent in episode 16 unfortunately, which is about Awu gaining the respect of his army. 

I do think this is a good spot to pause though. There’s no angst yet. Awu and Xiao Qi are at a good place in their relationship, even if they’re temporarily physically separated for now. Emotionally, they trust each other. It’s them against the world. 

But I’m worried about the upcoming episodes. Based on comments from MyDramaList, it sounds like there are going to be misunderstandings by around episode 33ish, which I’m not happy about. I was hoping that it would be similar to Ming Lan and Gu Tingye’s relationship dynamic where they trust each other fully and there are no secrets or misunderstandings, and they work together against the antagonistic forces opposing them. But it sounds like the drama is going, to well, stir up drama between the leads. 

I powered through 16 episodes in 2 days, and only 41 raw episodes have been released. Which means that I’ll probably catch up within the next few days, and then I’ll have to play the waiting game until the finale at the end of February. So I’ll just take a pause now before things ramp up and I get too attached and maybe watch something else before coming back to binge this. 

#the rebel princess #上阳赋 #zhang ziyi #章子怡 #cdrama #cdrama rant #cdrama review #first impressions #周一围

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 42 - watching notes

I was up playing partygames over discord until 3 am yesterday, so I didn't get to watch another episode. I complained about it to my friends, which in turn made them complain that I sounded like I would rather watch my "gay chinese fantasy show" than spent time with them. I contemplated saying yes, but decided to keep my friend instead :D

And we were currently in the middle of a confrontation with Jiggy (as I've been informed he's called ... what? ^^) who apparently murdered his son to keep some secret, which with how this shows is going, I wouldn't be surprised is them going full game of thrones and ... you know what I'm talking about

Oh right, Su She is there

He's the Jin Zixun to my wei Wuxian. As in, I can never remember his name or why I should care 🤷‍♀️

(But thus time I DO remember who he is. That is, after lwj said his name ^^)

I'm so sure that jgy hit all evidence by now, btw

Okay, no. his wife is still there

Su She might be an asshole but his hair piece is gorgeous :D

What does it say about me that my first thought about that dagger was COOL!!! 😱😱😱

How dare you take Wen Qing's name in vain! 🤬

😱

I thought she'd stab him!!! Not herself :'(

I'm a bit surprised that with 5 cultivators in the room, no one does more to save her

Oh, JGY is a damn good actor!! I mean we knew that before, but now his apparent confusion and grieve for his wife seems even more (dare I quote lwj?) shameless

Lan Xichen, i know you love him but ...

Fun fact: In German, we call fake tears "Krokodilstränen". Literal translation: "crocodile tears"

That's what this is 😐

Especially about the nie Mingjue

Poor Nie Huaisang 💔💔💔

"Taking the head. Who in the world would have done such an insane act?" GEE, I WONDER ...

Sorry, I still find jgy fascinating, but this is so uncomfortable to watch, knowing at least part of what really happened 🙈

Lord, give me the power to murder people with one gaze like Lan Wangji 🙏

This whole conversation is so supremely uncomfortable

I'm still unsure if Jin Guangyao really doesn't suspect that "Mo Xuanyu" isn't who he says he is or if it's just a very convincing act 🤨

Favourite trope: Hanguang Jun, Yiling Laozou's knight in shining armour

First of all: Hot

Second of all: Lwj internally: DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING TOUCH HIM I ONLY JUST GOT HIM BACK AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN MADE OUT YET

probably

Also, for a split second there, you saw Jiang Cheng leap forward with a real look of concern on his face, like his first instinct was to help wwx himself 🥺🥺🥺

HE'S USING SUIBIAN AGAIN!!!

This feels so huge! 😱

I'm weirdly emo about a sword rn :')

His cover is blown of course

And him and Jin ling just had a good relationship :(

NHS, JL and JGY: How could it BE that this is Yiling Laozou???

Meanwhile Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng

"With the right kind of sacrifice, it can safe one who was seriously injured." Is this another instance of "we can't say this it's necromancy because censors, but y'all damn well know this is necromancy because no one falls down a cliff and then lies there "seriously injured" for goddam 16 years"?

I'm all teary eyed at lwj not even hesitating to flee with wwx :')

Jin Ling 💔🥺

Fuck you Jin Guangyao for playing at his pain!!!

Omg they're as good as holding hands!!! 😭😭😭

Of course, wax is pushing lwj away, OF COURSE. Self-sacrificing idiot!

That mask reveal was *chef's kiss* the drama! The gasps! The ... long-suffering "here we go again look" from lan Xichen :D

I LOVE IT WHEN LWJ SPEAKS UP!!

"You're wrong."

So simple. Yet saying so much: "I kniw him. I trust him. I chose this."

And OF COURSE Wei Wuxian gives him another way out

BUT THESE TWO FINALLY GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER AND COMMUNICATE THEIR THOUGHTS! FINALLY!

"Did you believe in me back then?" YES, I WAS JUST TOO AFRAID TO SAY IT,SO MY CONCERN CAME OUT AS ANGER 😭😭😭

And the single logged bridge again 😭😭😭 I adore that metaphor! And I love that they chose to show us the flashback. Because last time, wwx and lwj parted, took different roads so to speak, one the one of defiance, the other the one of orthodoxy. Neither wanted to part ways, but neither probably thought that they had much of a choice. But they did have a choice and they made it. And lwj has already expressed his regret over that. So here he is again, using his second chance without a thought.

Because lwj believes that wwx is right, MORALLY, so he will go against his clan, reputation be damned, and stand with the man he loves ... finally. He'll choose what they both believe to be right and walk with him "until it's dark" :')

And THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THIS SO MUCH!! It's not just that "oh they're so cute and they compliment each other so well, they must be soulmates uwu". Most of all they share a common morality!!!

I'm so goddamn amazed at this ship! This is not I was thought I was getting when I boarded it, but goddamn it I'm loving the ride! 😭😭😭

And .. just, the look in Lan Wangji's eyes ... they have 50 swords drawn on them, but guessing from the look on his face and the softness of his gaze they might as well be at their wedding 😭😭😭

He looks like a man entirely at peace with his decision :')

Just ...

Look

At

THEM!!!

They're holding hands in that last shot!!!! 😭😭😭

I'm absolutely floored at how utterly beautiful this scene is! "Romantic" seems too insignificant to describe it. It feels more like 42 episodes worth of love and pining and misunderstandings coming to their natural conclusion

My heart is so full right now guys :')

Very nice of these 50 people to wait for their moment to pass before attacking. Very considerate 😁

"Are we going to fight or not." "Too much talking" I WANT 50 EPISODES OF THESE TWO BICKERING!!! 😭😭😭

Jin Ling :'(

Noooo

No

Noooo

I don't know who my heart is bleeding for more here

Jin ling doesn't deserve to have to shoulder his parent's and uncle's pain :'((

All this supporting each other when injured? That's the good stuff

And those flashbacks ... wwx finally FINALLY realizes that lwj never hated him for his actions, he was afraid for him :')

Tbf,the guy has a sliiiight communication issue 😐

That quote about how lwj is at his side now that everyone else despices him!! That's it THAT'S THE SHIP!!😭😭😭

Oh, lwj took him back to cloud recess

I'm surprised he was allowed to, tbh

Ooh, so Mo Xuanyu knew something!

And... someone else must now know about him?

Also, I didn't realise that wwx still had a cut from the curse

I gotta take a moment to scream about HOW UTTERLY DOMESTIC AND AT EAS THESE TWO NOW ARE WITH EACH OTHER!!! 😭

XICHEN!!!

I should have known that the OG wangxian shipper would support them

But he still trusts Jin Guangyao. Not that I'm surprised

It's so weird to see anyone on this show in trousers btw 😅

"You're more than I can handle." Lol ^^

"You trust Master Wei, while I trust Jin Guangyao." Oh boy ...

I feel like this might be more of a confrontation than these two brothers had in their entire lives

Love me some detective-wwx

Poor Xichen 😔 he doesn't want to believe it

Somehow, wwx with a white underrobe makes me think "that's what he looks like when he and lwj accidentally swab robes" :D

Uuuh! The restricted section forbidden chamber!

So ... jin Guangyao somehow got this piece of music from the lan library?

But he's good! He's really good! He consistently uses others weaknesses and prays on them so that they act in a more extreme manner, but not so much that others would suspect foulplay. Case in point: nie Mingjue's death by anger and (more recently) the way he played towards Jin ling's feelings.

Aaaand another rather abrupt end in the middle of a conversation. That's one thing this show does not do well 😅

Anyway, I'm not complaining this episode send my shipper heart (BECAUSE I'M SO DWEP DOWN THIS RABBIT HOLE AT THIS POINT) fly with joy!!

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose 🖤💙🖤💙

#the untamed #sophie watches the untamed #wei wuxian #wwx #lan wangji #lwj #wangxian #lan xichen #jin guangyao #jin ling #jiang cheng #nie huaisang #nie mingjue #the untamed liveblog

[midnatt-heronweather]

MY Thoughts this Aromantic Awareness Week 1/?

Aromantic Awareness 2021 February 21st to February 27th

This will probably make no sense to anyone, but since I’ve got no prompts to fill or questions to answer this is what I’m doing.

“Some” people say you shouldn’t talk about these things, and should keep them behind closed doors, I say. Education and acceptance is more important than some stuck up tarts archaic idea of modesty...

but I do agree with moderation of information of course.

I‘ve a few talking points, I’m not going to say how many because it may be more than I originally start out with. , and as you all know I can go off on tangents.

__________________________ First I guess I should Explain the flag and what it means, because, like other LGBT pride flags the colours have meaning

>Green & light green: represent the aromantic spectrum,aromanticism (represented by green); covers all arospec identities (aro, gray aro, lith/akoi, cupio, quoiro, idem, demi, fray, caed, requis, arovague, and others)

>White: for all the nonromantic forms of love and attraction; friendship/platonic, aesthetic, sexual, sensual, emotional, mental, QP relationships, family, you name it [Alternatively some designs include yellow for this, though personally I avoid yellow for visibility sensitivity]

>Gray & black: for the sexuality spectrum, covering arospec acespecs (asexual spectrum ppl) as well as arospec allosexuals __________________________________________________________

1b of this blog deals with an important subject Discovery - basically its a ramble of an attempt to explain how I know I’m Aromantic Asexual   Rather than being specifically dedicated to the Aromantic side of my Identity this one’s a mixed answer because it covers both Asexuality and Aromanticism as it regards to me: So - I see and hear a lot of people ask “how did you discover you were “<Insert sexual identity here>” and I‘ve listened to a lot of AroAce people give their answers which always seem to sound deep.. Well, make my own seem rather pedestrian; decide for yourself, this here’s my answer:

The truth with me is frankly... I didn’t “discover” anything apart from the term itself; I’ve always been this way. Oh yeah, I went through phases trying to make sense of why I didn’t fit the social norm of being a sex mad teen or even slightly interested and not repulsed by the whole thing I asked the questions “am I gay?” “ Am I wired wrong?” Etc. But it’s all the same because it was just... me.

Of course ‘society’ has had its opinions, for years people called me frigid, told me ‘god’ wouldn’t let a creature like me be ‘happy’, because I was... i don’t know, Pagan/fat/geeky/ somewhere in the LGBT rainbow take your pick as to what “creature” referred to, i don’t delve into the small minds of backwards northerners anymore, its a bog of stench. Another thing I was frequently told was that I pretended not to want something because I knew I was too ugly/fat/repulsive to get “it”. Which given what happened to me on my 18th makes me laugh ironically. But anyway...

I formed my own explanation, either just to wave a geek flag or because it was one of their insults -   I’d get called alien (originality was not something that was encouraged at my school as you can tell), so I came up with calling myself Vulcan, with the lack of emotional response and distaste for social norms it ft me

I’ve never “wanted” romance, and the idea of physical contact makes my skin crawl (literally and figuratively) Sometimes I’d stop and ask myself if I’d felt  ‘feelings’ for someone.. Like the books described or like my favourite characters on TV?  That... butterfly ‘love at first sight’ heart racing at the sight of another person, but th answer was always no. I even asked the few people in my life I looked up to, to describe “love” (still do sometimes, but that’s more fic research stuff) and it never registered with me which has never bothered me more than a passing itch would.

I was/ am me and there was nothing I could do about it, and as that was the only way I’d ever known it was/is natural to me. back to the ‘discovery’ part of this rant/blog: I can’t really separate discovering Aromantic or Asexual as terms, and tbf I can’t really say for certain when either clicked into place. As with most important things I discovered I wasn’t alone or an ‘abnormality of nature’ through a hell of a lot of research.

I was in university, going to my first few (good) conventions, and I felt surer, of myself I guess, as cheesy as that sounds. this was when I was around 25 Ironically for me this was not that long after after I’d met Ally Dark fairy goth sister lady that she is and started actually finding reasons to like and trust .. anyone really, and shortly after this we met Heather and I discovered among the other things we shared, she was Asexual too, but she’s... i think the term is actually allo-Romantic, she’s interested in that sort of stuff, loves a good romance story, and all the mush attached  

I’m still defining the parameters of me, as we all do, people change throughout their lives no one stays precisely the same but. I AM Aromantic Asexual and that is one thing that I am quite happy to say will never change.

The Uk as far as I’m concerned doesn’t recognise Aromantic or Asexual people enough, not that the rest of the world does either, because we don’t stand out as far as their concerned, (well. Most don’t ;) ) but we exist, we are valid and despite what some would have you believe we do count in the LGBTQIA and that is my “discovery” rant/blog/ ASAW day 1 post

#ASAW2021 #Aromantic #asexual #aroace #lgbtqia #pride #self #discovery #flag #aromantic flag #aromantcism #rant #blog #thoughts

[shy-magpie]

RQG 153

And we're 30 seconds in and I just got hit by the realization Azu isn't going to see the sky for a week. I know its not under water in enemy territory but that also means she doesn't have a mission to distract her. I love Cel! Zolf tries to do a leadership and prep them for what to expect (since they don't need the element of surprise this time) so Cel changes form because rats are more easily entertained. Alex has to come in with the restrictions but still a nice way to remind Zolf this is not the nice neat chain of command he remembers. Yeah reverting is better than "ha ha you're now a rat all week". OctoCel! Nice! Zolf is declaring Family Game Night. Speaking of leadership, Hamid remembers this isn't season 1 and thanks Zolf instead of asking the reasonable but not productive questions of where this was last time. Alex points out the space issue again. Still not sure if he did this on purpose as a way to poke at the party and see how they react or if he just didn't design the space big enough last time and refuses to retcon an extra cell into the basement. TBF if there had been 2 cells last time, Hamid & Azu sharing wouldn't have made sense and if they couldn't hug the fandom might have never forgiven Zolf & Wilde. Oh Cel can change 4 times a day Zone of Truth or Dare Not sure if he is joking or not but Zolf getting out of conversation by melting into a wall is an image Thanks Lyd! Hamid "is fine and he can snuggle up with Azu". Thanks Bryn! Barnes makes Carter switch  so he can get some sleep Hamid is such a good person. He isn't trying to charm or justify, it isn't about abstract team cohesion. He just gives a sincere apology for not following the rules because even if he doesn't understand, he does trust that Zolf wouldn't hold him to them without reason. Zolf is great too, and tells Hamid it isn't needed Zolf has grown so GD much! He just cited his leaving and prompted Hamid to ask any questions. Oh I want everything on those 18 months but maybe Hamid shouldn't press when its so hard for him, especially when he can't leave the room if things get rough? I am so conflicted. Thats my little leader, immediately switches the focus to working together again. Ow "honestly we were never that good at working together anyway" so no rosy glasses on Zolf. Helen's gasp is, as ever, a mood Zolf still has that negative charisma. I can't explain how much I like that his mental health kick didn't turn him into a different person. Him tripping over his tongue on things like this is part of why he isn't a Zolf in name only, like I feared when I found out we were getting him back after his breakdown. Aw Azu & Cel offer them the illusion of privacy as Hamid  pretends he isn't hurt. I love Cel's hammock and their shipping. Pausing before it can be jossed, don't think he can duck this time. Called it. Okay but he did admit he cares about Wilde just not romantically and canon doesn't have to see eye to eye with fic. Carter tried to date Wilde? Or at least pursued him? God bless Hamid is cutting straight to the rank issue. Look I know I have a proper thing about rank and that respecting Hamid's growth means not treating him like season 1, but people need to know who is calling the shots in time sensitive, dangerous situations. The proper response to the suggestion they fight it out is not to point out logistical barriers Zolf points out that if Hamid actually fought they would all die which is a heck of a double edged statement. It respects his power while pointing out the collateral damage. Then he points out he would win in a no magic fight which is true but if Hamid doesn't already have a complex about his self worth & magic I'd be amazed. Azu tries to declare they aren't doing this while Hamid comes in with the lore. Because Bryn loves the listeners and wants us to be happy. Ooh if the claws aren't magic magic what about the rest? not that I want him to get pissed enough to breathe fire or whatever it was that got him scaley but at least he can't isn't relying on his wits if they encounter one of these fields in the field. Is Carter being Carter or is he stealing Wilde's bit of uniting the party in hating him? The irony that explaining why Zolf should lead is the single best proof of Hamid's leadership skills is not lost on me. A real leader puts the good of the party above any desire for rank or power. Not sure if this counts as yelling should probably mark as starting around 10 minutes in for CWs Ok I don't know why I am so pleased and surprised at these two having a direct conversation with past incidents as examples using clear language like "I was frustrated". I mean lord knows RQ told toxic masculinity to take a hike from the beginning so maybe its less surprised than grateful? They don't agree but are clearly more concerned with understanding than with getting in a pissing match. "...And I guess I'm not that old because I haven't lived through the 18 months" Look at him learning to stand up for himself while still being fair to the other side. How can you not love him? Bless, Hamid is worse than me, if I talk quick enough the right words will come out before I run out of courage right? I love the peanut gallery. Oh dear that's a tone on Zolf I'm just going to take a moment before the "but" comes in. Zolf is being fair, I don't necessarily agree but he is being fair and sounds willing to listen. Hamid spells it out in small words that the flippant tone is a coping mechanism. Zolf wants to move on to the rest of the party now that they've said what needed to be said to each other. Yeah sorry Carter, Hamid isn't going to let Zolf get lost in his own head any more than Zolf is going to let Hamid run into danger because if he thought about it he would freeze. And Carter & Barnes are sharing all the tricks. Guess Hamid isn't the only one who does better if he can merc a guy after a hard week They are having a direct conversation about Zolf leaving! Backstory! So it was a debt more than a calling Brynterval, useful I needed a laugh break too and this way I don't miss anything. They are keeping up the relationship metaphor for all its worth. It really does work though. Azu quit alluding and tell us your story. Aw he's retelling Dover! I ever tell you guys that's when I quit waiting for him and or RQ to show their bad side? The damn romance novels were like a promise they weren't going to betray the story over "what's expected". I was so braced for that stupid "pick a fight with the toughest guy in the yard to buy respect" trope. Instead they just said nope: no prison fights, no guard abuse, his biggest danger is developing an addiction to cheap books. Thank you Cel! Hamid mentioning Mr Ceiling reminds Zolf that still have Shoin's brorb. Oh the diary Zolf has more Campbells Cel is awesome and asks if Hamid want to talk about Aziza Liliana finally got mentioned, realizing Hamid was the last to know about that part of the story hurt So they might be a hivemind Carter has a nice little cache in the cell of daggers & a wide variety of booze. Carter suggests they should get so drunk their minds aren't worth hiving. Oh Cel & the Elvish mead Carter is drinking the Orcish whiskey to make a point Yeah, yeah, how the heck Hamid came through not only his life preseries but this adventure with a healthy relationship with alcohol is beyond me. Not a patch on his experience and I'm teetotal. That's arguably why it's important to have though (plus if they went anywhere with an alcoholism plot I probably won't be able to listen) Barnes has the rum and is Jeff Goldblum posing. I love one(1) low charisma man. Zolf is trying to draw Azu & Cel into conversation. Azu backstory time! A vision of Aphrodite in her dream led her to follow a wandering paladin. Little leader tucks Carter in Azu asks for Cel backstory Cel is around 97, and they were raised in America. Their Dad was a merchant sailor. The trade cut off and defenses failed destroying the town. Its time to give Hamid crap about capitalism. Zolf tells Barnes to leave off. Zolf joined the Navy because he "killed his brother"!?! Wanna try that again with details? Oh Zolf honey it was an accident. Hamid hugs Zolf while he talks. Zolf says all that then knocks stone out of ceiling in a demonstration of his powers. Hamid remembers Zolf wasn't in Cairo and starts describing the prank gone wrong and I'm just gonna take another sec because if Zolf doesn't take this the right way its gonna hurt. Did Hamid just quote Grizzop at Zolf?   Cel just declared they are staying with the party Just barely through the first quarantine episode. We might hit the same ratio as the dungeon after all. Gosh I love that theme tune

#Rusty Quill Gaming #RQG spoilers #long post #RQG 153 #RQG season 4 #live blog thingy

[zenosanalytic]

4/20/19 HSE 8

Ok back at it

MEAT 15

Cool Fight; Not terribly surprising.

MEAT 16

Dirk’s as much Rose’s father as Rose is his Mother. I guess maybe it’s more convenient, psychologically, to choose a causative direction and stick with it, rather than accept the Mobial nature of their genesis, but for some reason it bugs me this keeps getting overlooked.

Dirk’s over here talking about how right he is all the time and I dont think he was ever right about anything even once in canon(aside from certain aspects of his talk with Dave, and choosing not to kill Hal) XD The only “plan” of his to work was the one re: entering the Session, and 1)he outsourced it to Hal and 2)it only worked because he managed to improvise his way through every aspect of it failing to go the way he thought it would, and even that probably had more to do with their entry being part of HiC’s plan to use them, so she wasn’t trying to wipe them.

Another Thing: I dont think the Ascent Differential is Aspect so much as Personality.

Another Another Thing: That Rose, when discussing her life-long fear of knowledge as a corrupting and ruining outside force(this being a person who always felt her mother wasn’t her mother, in some sense, and responded to that fear by rejecting emotional intimacy with said mother), doesnt see the connection between that life-long fear and her fear that Ascending will be bad, damaging, and corrupting, is Notable. Perspective continues to be important, and lack of self-awareness continues to hamstring ppl in this narrative.

MEAT 17

I feel like this new narrative belligerence on Dirk’s part isn’t going to work out too well for him with a person as aware and recalcitrant to narrative meddling as John. It’s going to be John and WV all over again. This is also a wonderful example of how personal flaw and specificity isn’t solved by Godhood in HS, and can really trip you up; basically all of this, including the “impotence” applies to Dirk, too, when others disagree with the direction he’s trying to push them in, and this whole rant may be meant, ironically, as an example of dramatic irony: basically, that Dirk’s rant about total control and knowledge reveals the limits of his knowledge and will be followed by examples of how limited his control is, which he can’t be aware of, but which the “impotent” audience will.

MEAT 18

...And, almost immediately, John’s objecting to the narration and doing things before Dirk “writes” him doing them(the sigh).

MEAT 19

“So yeah, I’m gonna allow it” Notice how he asserts power over situations he does not, in fact, have power over.

Which is kind of an interesting dynamic to bring up in the context of authorship? I mean: in the realm of nonfictional works an author can’t “make” things happen, only alter for their audience what DID happen. In some respect this is being written as equivalent to that dynamic; the simple admission in M17 that Dirk is misrepresenting events also admits those events happened another way than he’d prefer, meaning it’s also an admission of his lack of power over actual events. And, of course, all the other things I’ve been talking about, and the fact that everyone’s “character” is rooted in natures established in the original work. But in a fictional work an author’s creative power is absolute, and this is a fictional work; though I suppose a derivative or transformational one, which accounts for the shortfall. Another interesting aspect of this is that the “Author” is presented as a Narrator; Narrators merely describe what happened, they don’t create it. I was going somewhere more concrete with this but it popped out of my head >:T >:T

Ok so other aspects of this: I agree that Jane’s been established as a pretty ambitious person, but she was also always a pretty moral person and the way she’s going about this so far doesn’t seem to be in keeping with that part of herself. And also: she literally wants to create shortages, and thus the suffering shortages will cause, for... what? Nostalgia? Because she think she can run Capitalism better than the adults from before all this?? Because Hierarchy is Neat??? Seems like a whole handful of really petty, selfish, and juvenile reasons to me. Also one guaranteed to cause social conflict; I doubt a civ that’s never known material want is going to react too well to sudden starvation and financially-manufactured forced-labor(which, lbr, is what most work in our world is).

Obvsl, as a snake and member of the storied gens Atheris, I agree with Roxy&Calli that patriarchal human concepts of gender are not the end-all-be-all of identity, but what really jumps out to me here is Roxy’s description of the nature of their love for, and previous sexual interest in, Dirk which I find really True. Like: the sentiment of wanting to see children of a person because you really like that person and think they should continue, or of thinking having the kids you might have with another person would be pretty interesting. Also that loneliness is a hell of a drug 8T

I’m trying to figure out why this conversation would be circumstantially simultaneous with The Furthest Ring being “destroyed”, but I got Nothing :T :T :T

MEAT 20

So yeah, Jade’s merging with her Alt!Selves, not too surprising since it was heavily foreshadowed in Endgame.

Given that Sessions are located IN the Furthest Ring, and Sessions MAKE new multiverses, I find it being made out of “negative potential. The absence of a future” pretty ironic :p I wonder if the tentacle hair bit is a nod towards the Horror-Terrors, and theories about them being Players? Rose and Dirk’s view of Ascension would seem to suggest HTs might be SUCCESSFUL players who eventually abandoned their universes out of fear of the damage they’d do misusing their godhood(as it doesnt solve your personal problems), rather than the old HC of them being failed Players.

MEAT 21

My theory about “The Economy” being code for sex doesn’t stop feeling ever more confirmed by this narrative :|

Dirk’s anger at the idea of anyone not thinking he’s right about everything is Palpable on this page. Also I’d just like to note that This:

Is being said by a person currently in the middle of metaphysically manipulating a friends towards her worst impulses(and also potentially some amounts of self-hatred, give her thoughts re: femininity) for the sake of establishing a dictatorship through which she, as his agency-dimmed puppet, will enforce his personal politico-philosophical preferences regardless of what anyone else thinks and he’s saying it about people who just said This:

which is to say: a bunch of political pluralists who are NOT seeking to impose their morality on anyone but rather to establish a system where EVERYONE can SHARE their moral understanding of policy issues and come to a consensus decision on them, within the context of a political society DEFINED by the equality of all as political actors. There’s just so much that’s wrong, weak, and easily dismissable about Dirk’s argument here. Not to mention his obvs, undisguised, physical disgust for trolls >:T

And he’s doing all this Purely because, given his fixation on “Winning”, he wants to Win. Like: he’s not actually even pursuing what he considered good policy; he is, literally, doing this all for Pure Ego, which he has the gall(and lack of self-awareness) to accuse others of acting from. And this self-deluding buffoon is a person who believes himself “Ascended” and therefore possessed of a “higher” and “clearer” perspective on matters above their “petty” concerns about, oh non-humans being allowed to live as they like, or practice any political agency at all, and all ppls being spared unnecessary and pointless suffering due to entirely manufactured shortages. So much (real, actual)Irony, of so many types, in all of this, all at once.

An aside: I am really liking the political-mindedness of these Epilogues so far; really playing to my Interests uwu

The bit about Hybrid babs and shipnames is funny, and it doesn’t read like a shot at the fandom to me at all; it’s more a joke at Dave’s expense given the obvs distress Kanaya’s in and his inability to stop making the situation more awkward(itself prob the result of Bro’s neglect/abuse)

Oh hey look: it’s Dirk the “Omniscient” being distracted, caught unawares and off-guard by the actions of others, unable to handle the role&work he’s chosen for himself(ie “out of his depth”), unable to split his attention between even just two conscious ppl at once, and not knowing what others are thinking. Given this and his handling of Jade’s thoughts in the last section, I kinda feel like it’s less he can actually sense the thoughts of others, and more that he gets some kind of inkling or hunch, or maybe that’s it’s purely just him guessing(that’d fit real well with his comments on Roxy being “inscrutable” to him), or even just having an awareness of the plot he is narrating(and thinks he’s writing). Of course it could also be some kind of Heart thing; not really even access to their thoughts at all, but a sort of awareness of their Agency? Like: Heart is The Self and The Self is expressed through Agency, so he has, in some way, developed an awareness of “Self-Action”, which is to say, Agency? Kinda like how Dave “feels” Time and Jade “feels” Space and Rose “feels” Relevance. Which, just as an asnide, would be something super-basic powers-dev wise, since Dave started having a sense of Time way back in the early Acts, long before godhood. Though I can see how Dirk developing an awareness of OTHERS intentions(and feelings, potentially, given Heart’s other associations) would seem like a big step for him, given how self-absorbed he is.

Ok that’s it for this one I think. I know I’m not being terribly kind to Dirk in all this but, tbf, he’s being kind of a huge snide Dick in basically every respect, and I also don’t have a lot of Chill in me when it comes to 1)arrogant people or 2)manipulators (:T

#Homestuck #HS Epilogue #Homestuck Spoilers #zA Opinions #analytic posts

[rewrittenending-blog1]

emilie de ravin, cis female ( she/her ), pansexual. did you hear ? CLAIRE LITTLETON, a ( canon ) character in ( LOST ), went deviant FIVE MONTHS ago ! now they’re a 22 y/o server. people either think they’re [ KIND-HEARTED & FRIENDLY ] or [ SENSITIVE & NAIVE ] but associate them w/ sandy beaches, peanut butter straight out the jar, converse, emo phases, blonde waves, stars, & knitted baby booties either way. they DON’T remember going into the jungle to find the vaccine. ( pace, she/her, gmt. )

in a shocking turn of events, i have interests other than musicals !!! tbf, lost and waitress are pretty much my two favourite things, but that’s besides the point ! this is claire & i’ve played her in a few different places over the space of, like two or three years, i think ? so i am, to put it lightly,,, extremely overly attached.

CANON FOR THOSE WHO DON’T KNOW:

i assume most people are familiar with lost tbh even if they haven’t seen it, but tldr: a plane flying from sydney to los angeles crashes on an island. drama and sci-fi fun ensues !

claire’s life has been pretty hard tbh. she was driving the car that ended up putting her mother in a coma, she then met the dad she’d been told was dead in hospital after that crash, went to live with her aunt who blamed her for her mother’s hospitalisation, she had to live the next few years feeling guilty re her mum, and living with the fact that one of the last thing she said to her mum was that she hated her, she then got pregnant unexpectedly but decided to keep the baby after her boyfriend essentially talked her into it and had her thinking that a baby could be wonderful despite her very valid concerns, said boyfriend then chickened out AND LEFT HER, leaving her to deal with the pregnancy all on her own, she then decided to give the baby to a family who could look after it better than she should, but was adviced by a psychic that nobody else should raise her baby but her & bad things would happen if it grew up without her kindness and her spirit, got harassed by said psychic, and then ended up on an island thanks to said psychic because he knew the plane would crash and it would stop her from giving the baby up. and that was only before the island !!!!! after the crash the poor git got kidnapped after several attempts were made beforehand and nobody believed her but charlie ( shoutout to my mans ) she had a baby in the middle of the jungle which tbh just sounds like the most unsanitary thing on the planet to me,  had her baby stolen from her, her baby then got sick, she nearly drowned, she got sick, her boyfriend died, THE LIST GOES ON. WE DON’T EVEN TALK ABOUT JUNGLE!CLAIRE. she was essentially used as lost’s chew toy but i’m,,, clearly,,,, not bitter,,,,,

good news is, claire’s only canon up to her baby getting sick ! she got kidnapped while pregnant with him, and was so drugged up while she was gone that she couldn’t remember a damn thing by the time she got back, but when baby aaron got sick, she began getting flashes of her time when she was taken, and remembered that The Others(tm) had been giving her injections, and since she was told it was medicine for the baby, she went off into the jungle to go and hunt for it to help him 

FUNKY RP STUFF:

luckily, claire was holding her son, aaron, when she escaped her canon world, so he’s with her ! and because canon is Gone, he’s perfectly healthy !

memory loss isn’t something that’s foreign to claire in canon, so it felt fitting for her not to remember anything before arriving. she knows aaron is her son ( motherly bonding thing ? who knows ) but can’t remember anything else, and thinks she’s from this world and that aaron was born in blue creek 

tbh she’s not qualified for much, so i gave her a job as a server as it matched one of her canon jobs ( the other was a piercer in a tattoo studio but like,,, with a gun,, and..... bro don’t let anybody pierce you with a gun it’s 2019 just don’t do it. she’s not qualified to actually properly pierce ? plus she was like 17 at the time so like,,, sketchy ) and i’m just thinking that her job maybe has a creche for lil aaron since she doesn’t really trust people with him and he’s still REALLY young. the lil guy is only five months old, but claire needs to earn money somehow so !!! we’re winging it !!! but aaron will probably be present in most threads, but i know that babies are a big Nope for some people so no worries if that makes you uncomfy and you’d rather skip that, just hmu !

despite her hardships, claire’s lovely. she’s definitely one of lost’s softest characters, bless her. she has a heart of gold, and a very hopeful view of the world at times. even when a lot of people had come to terms with the fact they might be on the island forever, claire still hoped they’d get home one day, even if she didn’t logically think they actually would. her mother’s love of nature has given her some wildlife knowledge, she’s very much intro astrology and will happily do your chart for you, she’s usually chirpy, a little naive, very much still getting a hang of this whole Adulting thing, let alone the whole Mothering thing. she’s honestly just trying her best. but she’s very nice !! easy to get on with !!!! maybe a little sceptical at points !!! realising that everything was just on repeat was probably weird for her, and it would’ve been a very shifty-eyed moment and tentatively trying to go off script and change the narrative while being Very Scared 

it’s a good thing her memories are gone tbh, as otherwise she’d be feeling even more,,, ahem,,, lost. like the people on the island became like a family to her and helped her out in so many ways, especially with aaron and coming to terms with motherhood. and she doesn’t remember how much help she used to get, or how minimalist looking after aaron could be when all they had was the bare minimum. she doesn’t have to compare her time, or miss the people she grew to love, especially charlie, kate, locke, sun etc. plus her life sucked and she was sad, so all’s well now, my child 

so she’s just trying to get by ! nice young lady with a crappy job and a baby just trying to live her life !

#dev:intro #﹡ﾟ· ˚ ★ ᴘʀᴇɢɴᴀɴᴛ﹐ sɪɴɢʟᴇ﹐ ᴏɴ ᴀɴ ɪsʟᴀɴᴅ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ ᴏғ ɴᴏᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ﹙about claire.﹚ #pregnancy tw #car crash tw #plane crash tw #babies cw

[sinesalvatorem]

I made a new post because the reblog chain on my previous one had grown too long.

The relevant part of the conversation is that I said:

However, part of the problem is that I’m desperate for help and housing and stuff 100% of the time, and dysfunctional people are more likely to want me around more of the time.

This is largely because, when I’m around, their dysfunctional relationships tend to just… Be less dysfunctional. Fewer misunderstandings happen, because I translate people’s concerns to each other in real time. People get angry at each other less often because I help them to not be angry. But the cost is needing to spend so much of my time with the kind of people who need to be babysat.

And then @acemindbreaker​ said:

I do think that last paragraph is probably the most likely reason. Someone who’s always trying to keep everyone happy can be a really attractive target for people who feel entitled to excessive amounts of emotional labour.

Like, I have borderline tendencies, and I’ve sometimes when upset started thinking that people should just learn how to not upset me, even though when I’m thinking rationally I know that my triggers are often unpredictable for me, and even more so for others around me, so that sort of expectation is pretty unreasonable.

But if I met someone who was willing and able to spend a great deal of effort trying to keep me from getting triggered at their own expense, it would be very tempting to just lean on them and let them manage my emotions because I find it hard to manage them myself. I don’t know how I’d react, and I’ve got fairly good insight into how unreasonable my desire for emotional labour from others is. If I had less insight, no question, I’d take advantage of someone who does emotional labour too easily.

...Oh.

This. This explains (about half of) my abuse. Oh.

The #1 thing that most drained me of my energy and poisoned my thoughts and made me unable to focus on doing any of the things I needed to fix my life is that my abuser outsourced dealing with their triggers (and all other emotional responses, and creating/maintaining their friendships, etc) to me. Like, basically as far as one possibly can outsource emotional regulation. And they’re in the 99th percentile of neuroticism (going by the Big 5), so -

They officially made it my responsibility to change the topic in any discussion nearby to them that might potentially touch on something that could trigger them. They would yell at me if they misheard the lyrics of music I played such that it triggered them, so now I never play music aloud no matter where I am. They once told me that I “Don’t really care about [them]” because I didn’t remember a specific song I’d once played a year before that triggered them (due to the actual lyrics, tbf). They would read my screen over my shoulder very often, and any time they did this I was so scared I wanted to throw up, because I didn’t know what they’d do if one of their triggers got mentioned on my Tumblr dash or something. But literally everything in my life was like this.

(They also used to tell me all the time that, if I were a better partner, I’d never make a mistake and never trigger them even once. And I would always point out that this was literally insane, because I am objectively in the top 1% of everyone for this specific kind of work, and they were working me to the bone and still not getting enough. Then again, they never talked to other human beings, so they might have just not realised that everyone else is even less of a mind reader than I am.)

They would hurt me if I didn’t make sure to ask “Are you OK?” any time they were triggered and let them keep me up until 5am, through two or three hours of me crying and begging to sleep, extracting emotional labour. However, they’d also hurt me if I incorrectly guessed that they’d been triggered and asked if they were OK, because that might by itself prompt them to be upset. So I’d need to intuit when they were triggered from when they weren’t before asking. But they were also really upset at the fact that I can read faces and didn’t want me to ever read their emotions from their expression or behaviour.

And I thought this was all completely OK and deserved because, two years ago, I’d fucked up and said something appallingly stupid that massively increased the severity of their triggers. And they told me that, since I was responsible for their triggers being this bad, I was responsible for taking care of them 100% of the time. And I entirely believed this, and to this day I entirely alieve it.

So, of course, they once made me denounce myself for past actions I’d taken that had hurt them and, after my denunciation, asked me “What punishment do you think someone who did something like that deserves?” I told them that I did not, and never had, believe in people “deserving” punishment. They told me that they thought this was bullshit, since everyone deep down wants the people who hurt them to suffer, but that if I wouldn’t come up with a punishment then they would. They said that I deserved to suffer twice as much as the suffering I’d caused, and no, none of my abuse counted, because that had only been me doing as I was supposed to. What real suffering had I ever experienced?

And that’s how I first came out to anyone as a rape survivor, since I’d previously wanted to hide it and repress it and never think about it. And then they had me describe in excruciating and retraumatising detail everything that had been done to me in the course of my rape. And, in the end, they gave me the stamp of approval of “Has suffered the correct amount” and let me go the fuck to sleep (and deal with my nightmares).

And I can’t even alieve that any of this wasn’t exactly what I did deserve, and exactly what my responsibility to them was. I feel deep down that I have an infinite debt to them. Which is how I know that if I ever lived with them again I would definitely, without a doubt, fall back into this pattern. Which is how I know that I would rather die than go home.

In other news, I’m going home today to collect my remaining possessions from the room my abuser and I share. Wish me luck! I will need it.

#tragic backstory #abuse cw #rape cw

[moonaft]

Rosemary and Rue - Reread

Finally caught up on the series - now to go back and see what I missed before.

Contains spoilers for the series up to The Brightest Fell and the June 2018 Patreon short stories. All the spoilers. So many spoilers.

One hour before the pond - Toby is staking out Simon and enough hints are dropped that something bad comes of it. 

Hi Oleander - have we met another Peri in the series? I guess they are anti-social enough to stay out of Toby’s radar. 

Why doesn’t Toby know for certain that Simon was involved with the underworld before this? He’s been called a villain since at least the 50s and his magic’s been rotten oranges instead of cider for just as long. I guess the purebloods besides Sylvester and Evening aren’t talking to her.  

So all of this was meant to draw October out without giving her allies to draw on - Sylvester’s out of the picture and not in any place to look for her - so that she’s taken out. What did Evening think when Simon turned her into a fish instead of killing her? Toby’s out of the picture - and maybe that’s enough, especially if she dies as a fish. 

How long do koi fish live? Did Simon’s transformation help there? Why does he even have such good transformation magic - he should have blood magic and illusions. Transformation is Maeve’s domain. I guess he gets to branch out - transforming Toby’s shoes in TBF never did wear off, and he did turn Patrick’s suit into something more suitable for the party in a short story.

~14 years later~

Apparently we meet the Luidaeg now when Toby’s working as a checkout girl. Did she know of things that were coming? Wanted to see her niece? Is she in her ‘Cousin Annie’ disguise? Toby isn’t paying enough attention to tell me

Hi Mitch - do we ever figure out what Stacy’s fae heritage is? Is it too faint? How exactly do they end up with two Seer daughters? Is Stacy all she claims to be? 

I am not sure why Toby is so utterly convinced that people seeing one pointed ear is going to betray Faerie - people will ignore and forget about much weirder things. Chelsea managed to get by fine for 16 years. 

-

Tybalt! I don’t recall if we know how they met. Does October even know Tybalt’s history with the Torquill family, or even that he’s of the same generation-ish with them? She definitely doesn’t know about September yet, or that Tybalt was friends with the three of them, or anything else going on in London in the 17th century. 

Did Tybalt know that Simon’s her step-father? He must have. The amount of information her allies don’t bother to tell her is amazing. And why didn’t she investigate Simon more? Any amount of digging would have turned up that relationship. 

- 

Hi Quentin, your life is never going to be the same. 

Interesting that the first description of Amandine we get describes her as a liar. Amandine the Liar. I guess she really did want a human daughter, one that wasn’t going to get involved in Faerie. If it wasn’t for Toby resisting her attempts to make her human, she might have gotten that. 

And now it’s her Changeling Choice - that the Luidaeg told Sylvester about. Is October named after August, or is she named after September? Explains why Sylvester flinches at her name. There is so much that October didn’t know then. 

Are Moving Days ever explained? I guess it’s either May 1/November 1 or February 1/August 1 for when the courts moved from Maeve to Titania and back. Beltane is a celebration in Faerie, so it’s probably May/November. 

June 9, 1995 to June 11, 2009 - I don’t know if those dates have meaning beyond Toby’s time in the pond. Also, does basically everyone in Faerie who cares knows she was there?

Why would Sylvester’s phone number have changed in that time? Why is Evening so nice to October? Is it part of of her con? Her past actions as described in this book don’t match anything else that come later. Early book weirdness? 

Does October know that Cagney and Lacey are spying for Tybalt? Also, what is this about October finding Evening’s sister’s killer? Clearly that wasn’t another Firstborn. Did Eira just fit herself into some other family - but that wouldn’t explain the last name. Someone she convinced everyone else she thought was a sister? This book has so many questions. Evening plotting the destruction of the false Queen’s court? When she was instrumental in getting that queen on the throne? Getting Toby knighted? 

This doesn’t make sense with her motivations later on - and I trust the Luidaeg and Simon with their explanations far more than I trust Evening. I think I will chalk it up to the first book and if it doesn’t appear in another book, it never happened. 

Wait, dammit. Her sister’s name is Dawn, and Tybalt (or Patrick, I can’t remember) explicitly mentions a Daoine Sidhe by that name later. No last name given. Who are you, Dawn? If Evening’s pretending to be a regular Daoine Sidhe, fitting in with an existing Daoine Sidhe family is a good way to go. 

-

“Even Sylvester, the most ‘human’ pureblood I’ve ever known’ - oh October, by TBF you definitely know enough to sense watermarks in people’s blood - you can see that Maida was once a changeling before the hope chest. Did you never think to re-examine your assumptions once you developed new powers? True, I’m sure that the twins were made pure-blooded soon or immediately after birth, but still. There were enough rumors that Tybalt figured it out.

Does August know? Did she think to look?  

-

What’s up with Evening’s human body? Did she convince the night-haunts to leave one and just got up and left after healing? The night haunts didn’t actually eat her bullet-ridden body because she doesn’t show up in the flock later. Maybe she did what April did to get January back? 

I guess some of these spoilers are meaningless without context because that last sentence makes no sense without April’s short story. 

I thought Oberon’s lines had the blood magic? Why does Toby think everyone but the Daoine Sidhe get it from Maeve’s lines? Or does she not know about that yet? 

What is October going ‘to end at last’? What mockery? Her being a changeling? Clearly Evening knew what was going on and meant for her to find the hope chest. If Toby is completely human, maybe whatever destiny is in Amandine’s line is gone. Since Evening can’t harm Toby directly, pushing her in the human world and away from Faerie does basically the same thing. Maybe. 

Was working with Devin and the other changelings a contingency plan in case Toby came back from the pond? A way to get her human?  

-

As far as the false Queen goes, I get why Toby never thought about her ascension. There wouldn’t be any rumors in 2009 that the Queen and King Gilad didn’t share a common race, and Toby didn’t know anything about Gilad. Clearly Mags did, and probably the Torquills, but it wasn’t worth talking about. 

That is interesting timing - everyone says August disappeared in 1906, and Simon was working with Evening by the time of the earthquake in April 1906. That is at most 4 months to exhaust all other options and sell your soul to the devil. 

-

I am concerned that going to Blind Michael for help is even a consideration. Who are the Tarans of the Berkeley Hills? Do they ever get mentioned again? 

Also concerned that Toby can’t tell what blood Devin has. 

-

Were the hope chests made to make the fae races ‘pure’? Who sired the Daoine Sidhe with Evening? Amandine pulled every trace of Daoine Sidhe from August before she was born so August was ‘pure’ Dóchas Sidhe but that wouldn’t work for other races. Do it enough times and you have enough for a population. 

Tybalt, you know that hope chests exist. Are you just surprised to see Toby with one? Maybe that backstory hasn’t been developed yet.

-

Hi again Quentin. Hi Connor. Hi Raysel - I liked you better when you were elf-shot.

Have we found out how Luna and Raysel got out of Simon’s hidden bubble? I don’t think we have. Does Raysel and Connor know that Simon’s her stepfather? I like how Raysel calls her ‘failure’ just like the Luidaeg calls Simon ‘failure’. 

Does Sylvester’s allergy to cats extend to Cait Sidhe? Do purebloods normally get allergies, or is this leftover, like Maida’s scars?

There is no indication that they were as upset by Dawn’s murder as they are by Evening’s. 

-

And Toby is covered in blood for the first time! All of it hers. 

Hi as-yet-unamed Marcia! Toby can’t make out your blood - are you really a thin-blooded changeling, or something else? 

How exactly does Lilly know Amandine? Did she always know who Amandine was? 

Hi Julie, hi Ross - you were gone too soon. 

Toby’s passing out again, yep. 

-

How exactly did Devin save the Luidaeg from burning? She’s been in the city forever. I’d say he was lying if she didn’t confirm it. Definitely lying when he said he called Sylvester though. 

I will say that the Torquills and the Lordens don’t care about mixed marriages, but Raysel and Connor’s children would be interesting. 

Is it adultery if your affair is with a changeling? Human is a definite no, but changeling?

Why does Goldengreen open on Amandine’s name and not Evening’s? 

-

Oh, those times when Luna was friendly. I miss those times. 

And Toby wasn’t paying enough attention at the register - the Luidaeg does have her customary face. 

Rose goblins being “an accident on the part of a niece of mine” - Luna? Or one of her sisters? 

Amandine trying to “fix matters on her own”, oh yes. 

Goldengreen wasn’t the first hope chest, but it’s the one the Luidaeg had before it ended up with Evening. The first one was given to Eira? A half-blood child? Not really how I would describe her, so maybe it went elsewhere. Maybe to the first child who descended from both lines? 

“It all came back to blood and roses” - Amandine’s magic. I forget what the other half of Eira’s magic is, the one that isn’t roses. 

-

At least Devin gets to avoid Evening’s revenge by being dead.

Does Toby still visit Dare’s grave? The books don’t say. She does still have the knife though.

-

Done with Rosemary and Rue! On to Tamed Lightning with January and April. 

There’s a lot in this book that sets up the series, but there’s a lot of pieces that don’t fit cleanly. What exactly was Evening up to with October and the kids from Home? 

#october daye

[calliecat93]

ST: TNG S6 Watchthrough Episodes 2-5

Realm of Fear: Barclay’s back! So this time, our favorite anxious officer is dealing with a fear of transporters. Oh good, it’s not just a trait unique to the CMO’s! But seriously, I fully understand Barclay’s (and by proxy McCoy and Pulaski’s) fear of the things though especially with all the incidents we’ve seen with transporters in both series. I mean just a few episodes ago Geordi and Ro essentially became ghosts! But hey Barclay can eventually go through with it… but during the beam back, he sees some kind of lifeform within it. The poor man just cannot catch a break in any of these episodes! He’s convinced that he’s losing it and may have transporter psychosis, a condition that essentially causes hallucinations. Which him asking the computer about it… wow THAT scene aged incredibly well cause let’s face it, we’ve ALL read medical descriptions online and jumped to the conclusion that we had a serious illness without any actual professional conformation. It honestly makes the episode insanely relatable with Barclay’s anxiety, fearing that he has some kind of serious condition, trying to deal with the issue without seeking help which just makes it worst, and just being a walking bundle of nerves… well, more than usual. I… was actually in such a state not too long ago and am lucky to have a therapist mother who calmed me down, so needless to say he hit me like a lead balloon. I do like that once Barclay does come forward about it, the others take it seriously. Picard even notes that considering everything else, a lifeform in the transporter beam is very much a plausible problem that should be looked into. So I guess the lesson here is that if you’re concerned about something or fear that something is wrong with you, get help. But yeah, good episode! I think it’s my favorite Barclay episode~! Plus he got to save the day in the end, good job buddy~! 3.5/5.

Man of the People: Troi is in love… again. Okay, not that I’m against romance, but do we have to do this as frequently as ST does it when we know it’s not gonna last?! Anyways, we have a negotiator, Alkar, and his elderly, very overprotective mother. Troi and Alkar start flirting… but then the mother dies, and Troi begins undergoing some changes. Not only is she becoming more rapidly negative, possessive and clingy towards Alkar, and outright violent, but she starts aging rapidly. It’s pretty much the aging disease from Unnatural Selection combined with the plot of Violations. So yeah, it’s another ’victimize Troi’ plot because we were just dying for more of that! Seriously, can the show just be nice to her already?! But yeah, Alkar is horrible. The reason Troi is acting this way is because he transmitted his negative emotions into her just like he did his ‘mother’ (who is actually a woman he previously did this to) and comes off just as horrid as the bad guy in Violations. While I hate how they keep doing crap like this to Troi, it is disturbing to see her act so completely unlike herself. She’s usually such a nice, comforting, cheerful person and to see her so spiteful, mean-spirited, and vicious even towards her patients is just… so wrong. Fortunately, Alkar got what was coming to him and Crusher manages to save Troi, which thank goodness that they allowed Crusher to be awesome at least. The episode is overall fine. It certainly freaked me out and there’s a message in there about monsters like Alkar who seem all nice but is actually a terrible person who has killed multiple women. That’s certainly still relevant and Picard calling Alkar out is very satisfying especially when he tries using the greater good as an excuse. It’s what helps me not rate this lower than I do… I just wish that they’d quit using Troi as the designated victim and just treat her better whenever she’s in focus. She deserves better. 3/5.

Relics: IT’S SCOTTY! OH MY GOD!!! So Scotty ended up stuck in a transport beam for 75 years... yes, really. But yeah, the TNG crew bring him out of it so he gets to see the Enterprise-D. It’s actually kinda nice since Spock’s guest appearance keeps him on Romulus and while McCoy did go onto the ship (or at least to Sickbay) in his cameo, that was off-screen... kinda sucks that he only got two minutes while Scotty got a full episode and Spock a two-parter tbh. Ah well. There’s also a continuity error cause Scotty assumed that Kirk sent the Enterprise after him... even though he knows that Kirk ‘died’ cause he was there when it happened in Generations. I guess tbf that hadn’t been planned yet and we can just say his brain is scrambled from being in a transporter beam for 70+ years, but still. Because of those said 70+ years, Scotty is completely out of touch with the changed times, and his engineering expertise and knowledge are decades out of date. It’s really just… sad. He wants to help and tries to get used to the way things are, but you can tell that he’s having a hard time with it. He feels like… well, a relic of the past. Especially when he goes into the Holodeck and brings up the image of the TOS Bridge and they used the TOS score, that was just… damn. Seeing it but it being utterly empty as Scotty wanders around and toasts to his old friends, just perfect execution. Heck seeing Picard on the TOS bridge was such a nice image~! This was such a joy to watch. I know that James Doohan had probably just come off The Undiscovered Country so getting back into Scotty likely wasn't hard, but still. He got much, much more than he ever did in either the show or the films tbh and he did an excellent job and I just feel so bad for Scotty throughout. Thankfully he got to prove that he’s very much still got it and a renewed sense of worth, free to explore the galaxy. His interaxtions with geordi were also good and truly feels like a nice, long overdue pasisng the torch moment that Geordi deserved. It was such a great episode and f was so respectful towards TOS as well, showing that despite its age, it is very much still valuable. That is the kind of respect that I appreciate in reboots/spin-offs so thank you TNG. 5/5.

Schisms: Riker is having sleep problems. He can’t fall asleep at night, falls asleep at impromptu times, and still feels tired afterward. It’s okay buddy, I go through that constantly. But more strangeness happens as incidents like Geordi’s VISOR shorting out occurs and many of the crew find that they have an hour gap in their memories, including Data. So what’s going on? As it turns out… alien abduction. Yes, really. Various crew members have been captured/tested by aliens and poofed back as though nothing happened, but with repressed memories such as laying on a surgical table. It kind of reminds me of Conspiracy where we have an alien race plotting who knows what and we get no real resolution concerning them in the end, though like with that one I think that the ambiguousness actually makes the whole thing scarier. Oh and we also don’t have the possession plot and the graphic bits. So it was overall good. Freaky for sure especially with reveals like Riker’s arm got amputated then reattached and he can’t remember any of it. Not much else to say tbh other than that it’s solid. Also loved Data’s poetry, you keep expressing yourself and your love for your cat buddy~! 3/5.

#st watchthrough

[blackcatanna]

LET THE ORGY OF SADNESS CONTINUE: Okita's Route Part 3: Edo Blossoms

I'm very interested to see how this plays out. Tbh, I don't really get this relationship yet but that seems consistent with how I felt before Edo Blossoms in the other routes so, yes, I am excited! :D I hope that Kaoru doesn't die X_X I want at least one route with Kaoru redemption but I am not at all optimistic...

Chapter 1:

"Something else entirely had me preoccupied..." Could it be... one spicy, stabby boi?

Wait, are we... LIVING TOGETHER? 👀

Quick question: do silver bullets affect demons or just furies?

BWWWWAAAARRRP!!! PHYSICAL CONTACT ALARM! "I held his soft, trembling fingers in my hands," Whoa there. Please calm down. I cannot allow this level of unbridled eroticism in my Good Christian Suburb.

In all seriousness, though, I GUESS this is SOMEWHAT sweet and romantic but I want everyone to know that I'm saying this under duress. >:( If I fancied him, this would wring the fuck out of my heart.

"Are you sure? You aren't just saying that?" Glad to see that Doctor Chizuru studied under Doctor Gregory "Everybody Lies" House.

"Why is it that you're always here when I wake up?" If you can't figure it out, I sure as hell am not going to tell you!

"Okita seemed to take pleasure from my surprise, and he stared into my eyes." X_X Of course he did... Because he loves to provoke reactions.

"Answer me." MAKE ME >_<

"looking off to the side in a fit of feigned indifference." < Okita in a nutshell

Is he upset because I said that I was here because of worry and guilt? Because, tbh, fair enough. Those were pretty dumb things to say, making out like it's a burden instead of admitting that I actually like being around him >:(

"Well, I guess that's fine then." X_X Oh, come on! Don't use the f-word on me like that! D:

"She's lying." YAMAZAKI!!! >_<

"Look, I know you can't stop thinking about me, but this whole doting-all-day-and-night thing is tiring." Called. The fuck. Out. X_X

Tbf, it seems kind of hypocritical to be fussing over someone while refusing to let them even inquire about your own health. Plus, it's a very one sided arrangement, which is not healthy X_X

"stop throwing a bitch fit" XD Okita is my new hero :')

"I didn't know that my behaviour became a cause for concern for them, too." Then, perhaps, you are foolish and inconsiderate -_-

O: Okita!?? Did he faint?! O_O

Woo! Going on an adventure with YAM! :)

There had better not be any creepy bald fuckers waiting in mah house! >:(

Are all doctors bald in 1860s Japan????

I'm so happy that Yamazaki's still alive in this route :) TOUCH WOOD.

"*Grunt* *Cough*..." Ah, I knew it was only a matter of time before I caught tb -_- (jk)

No, never split the party! D:

"However the price to pay is life itself." DUN, DUN, DUUUUUUUUUN!!! So much for it granting "immortality"

"the poisonous Water of Life" uh... Isn't that kind of an oxymoron X_X

"Retaining your sanity is impossible without feasting on blood." Ah, so all along, the Shinsengumi were just feeding the furies a poor diet.

O: ):< WHO DARES THUMP MY YAMAZAKI?

Of course. It's fucking Kaoru -_-

Blah blah, sadistic fuckery, blah blah. I'm starting to get real tired of your shit, BROTHER.

"Was he trying to play a trick on me?" -_- probably, yeah.

Wow, that's... Actually pretty helpful? Thanks!?

Okay, the doctor folk have gone! I give Okita delicious blood now? :)

Oh. HE GAWN!!! O:

WHY ARE YOU UP AND DRESSED? >_<

"Sleeping all day is such a drag." True, so DRINK MY BLOOD AND GET BETTER >:(

Bloodlust time :O Good thing I'm a walking blood pack! :D

"How long have you been doing this?" Uh, haven't you been watching over him night and day?

"I wrapped my arms around Okita and held him tight " BWAAAA- Okay, yes, physical contact. Hug = gud >:(

"Pease, drink this " DRINK THE BLOOD >:(

"I could feel his breath brushing across my skin..." o_o Saucy...

Why are the blood drinking descriptions so erotic XD I mean, I'm not complaining but-

Who is this strange, apologetic man?

Blood > Porridge

Heh heh, apparently, Hijikata acts "all hoighty-toighty"

Oooh! Looks like Okita's trying to break free of his diligent YAM nursing...

"I am calm" Okita, last time you said that, you went on a killing spree...

Ooh, I wonder why Yamazaki and Okita don't get along... I remember seeing a picture somewhere with casual Yamazaki abuse in the background...

"Okita was acting like a petulant child, throwing his toys out of the pram..." X_X Sexy...

"Do you think the Shinsengumi still needs me?" HONEY, the Shinsengumi needs all the help it can GET!! O_O

Omg, Yamazaki's threatening to tell on Okita! XD He's playing a dangerous (and childish) game!

Side note: the painting in Okita's room is distracting me because it kind of reminds me of the dead mice my cats bring in on a regular basis.

WAIT, IT'S A FISH!!! X_X A NICE, INNOCENT LITTLE KOI FISHY X_X I need to stop spending so much time with my cats...

"What, already? Can't I stay up just a little longer?" Hakuoki: Mum simulator!

"I'll turn in on one condition..." Oo-er :O

"Okita grinned mischievously, and he peered directly into my eyes." O_O OO-ER!

"My palms became sweaty, and my heart skipped a beat." IT MUST BE LOVE O_O

"Since you're here, mind laying down next to me?" DUN DADA DUN! *fanfare plays* We got there in the end, folks! :D

DON'T YOU DARE SAY NO XD

"That's not a funny joke." True. And the only way to teach him a lesson is to PRETEND to take him seriously by DOING AS HE SAYS >:)

"You're so dense." FACTS.

WELL DONE, CHIZURU, YOU DONE COCK-BLOCKED YERSELF, I said, berating the fictional character as if that's not totally something that I would do in real life ..

"Okita blushed, turning away in embarrassment." O: CTRL+Z CTRL+Z CTRL+Z ):<

"I want to, erm, talk to you for a little bit longer..." Oh, we can "talk" all night long ;)

"Talk...? With me?" But I'm only a stupid woman, huh dur, with naught to say but um and er! Actually, Chizuru does say ""um..." I couldn't think of anything to say" in this route A LOT so maybe FAIR PLAY.

Just realised that I accidentally made a rhyme.

"Okita sighed, frustrated" HONESTLY, ME TOO.

"How clearly do I have to spell this out for you." I'm beginning to wonder that myself. He just wants some company, Chizuru! Is that SO HARD to imagine? X_X

"He began to run his fingers through my hair." Oooh! Physical contact :3 Chizuru = pet cat!

"as the tip of his finger touched my skin, my heart skipped." Yeeeesssss... Feel the thirst flow through you... 3:)

Are we gonna get a thirsty Western uniform pan, now? :P

"I tried facing him directly, but for some reason my heart was thudding in my chest..." :O Oh my! I cannot think of a possible explanation! You should get that checked out! >:P

"you find me sexy right now, don't you?" AH-HAH! >:D Caught red handed!

Ugh, can't believe he tricked me into saying he looks good. >:(

UGH. Doctor Matsumoto still needs to perform a final exam on Okita?! Just let him go already X_X

Wow, has Okita been seething against Hijikata this whole time? That... Can't be healthy -_-

"Okita had the tendency to act rashly and avoid looking at the bigger picture, particularly when Hijikata was involved." No shit. He's going to be such a handful X_X

"You're coming, right?" Of course. I'm not just going to sit around here while everyone I care about gets killed O_O besides, you need my nutritious and delicious blood to keep you nice and healthy ^_^

"she can't keep her eyes off me for long enough, to the point where she'll follow me wherever I go" Yeah, because that's how you win at this game >:P

"Aw, is that some blushing I see? It's the truth." Yup.

"Well, yeah," SHE ADMITTED IT!!! 8D

"So, Yukimura. It appears you have some feelings for Okita, is this true?" OH, FRICKING GREAT!!! NOW I'M BEING INTERROGATED BY MY DAD'S EX- COLLEAGUE ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE X_X IF THE GROUND COULD SWALLOW ME NOW, THAT'D BE GREAT! OKITA IS SUCH A DICK XD

OKITA. STOP.

Doctor, why you gotta be so serious? O:

"Criminy..." Uh... Is that a real word?...

Omg, it is a real word! I have never heard anyone use it but, tbf, this is the 1860s :P

Okita needs to stop saying that every decision that Kondou makes that he doesn't like is because Hijikata "coerced" him. He's a grown man. He can think for himself. Please respect his autonomy X_X This is not healthy.

Uuuuuugh. Kaoru >_< Seriously, get a life!

"I'm here to watch the Shinsengumi flail around like pathetic losers as they watch their friends die." ... KAORU, THAT DOES NOT COUNT AS A HOBBY >_<

"Looks like you made it in time for the show, though. You'll be able to witness the glorious execution of the Shinsengumi's idiot chief." Or, in other words, we arrived in time to try and rescue him >:)

"You look nice. All your little boo-boos patched up?" Uhh... There's a lot to unpack here...

"Okita reveled in the vicious display, allowing Kaoru's blood to shower him as he swung repeatedly at the Demon." O_O Umm... Okita? Maybe CHILL THE FUCK OUT. O_O HE IS MY BROTHER, YOU KNOW?!

Aaaand, seemingly Kaoru's going to milk that fact... -_-

Did he... Stab me in the mouth?!?? What am I looking at here? X_X

Also, why doesn't he just activate his demon form!?!

Wait, is he feeding me the Ochimizu?!

Kaoru says that the water of life will eat away at Okita's body faster than if he'd just succumbed to TB but that's clearly not true if he's living long enough to see the end of the Shinsengumi. Plus, a short life of action is better than spending the rest of your days fading away in a sickbed.

"Okita comforted me with the soft tickle of his hands as they wiped away each tear with a warm touch." :3 Pretty darn wholesome! I will concede this point!

"you're a sweetheart." :3 Thank.

"You're a good girl" And am I supposed to wag my tail at that? X_X

"I... I am in love with Okita." O: Damn, that'll go straight to his head X_X

"more than anything or anyone" not that that's saying much :P Sorry, romantic moment, must resist shit talking urges!

"I believed that if I died, no one would give a shit." </3 O: )': DX Neveeeeeerrrrr!!!!

I prescribe HUG INJECTION >:(

"You look like shit" -_- Way to kill the mood.

"Here, come closer." :D Okay, I forgive you! <3

Oh, he played the uno reverse card on my hug plan :O

"How could I keep myself calm when the man I loved held me delicately in his arms?" BIG. MOOD.

Awe, he didn't kill Kaoru because "my heart knew it didn't want you to hate me..." <3 <3 <3 >.<

"My heart melted." SAME.

Chapter 2:

Damn, we're only on Chapter 2 and things are already getting pretty fluffy...

"Do you want me to sleep next to you?" DO IT. XD I dare you :P

"I wonder if Okita thought of me as nothing more than a silk kimono and a warming stone, as if that was all I could offer..." Girl, come on! Don't sell him short like this! Oh, and tell me more about what you want to offer him 3:)

Well, it looks like blood is the answer, for now O_O

"Y-You're not gonna offer me a-any blood today? Trying to play hard to get?" -_-

"his warm mouth drew my blood into his full, tender lips." X_X Sounds like someone needs a cold shower...

"I'm a diseased freak with no hope for the future." D: Don't say that! Everybody dies eventually! You still have strength to achieve the things you want and we can still be happy together! :'(

"I will be by your side, Okita... No matter what." YUS >:)

SEN!!! <3

"Would it have killed you to at least write us a letter?" O: I'm sorry! X_X

Ha. Bold of you to assume that Kodo's continued research might be in your favour.

"Kondou has surrendered to the Imperial Army." O_O OH FUCK.

And of course Okita is blaming Hijikata X_X

"You are making assumptions, most of which are uninformed" Yeah, you tell him, Sen-bae!

I still don't see why we can't at least try to rescue Kondou >:( Are we just supposed to sit tight and wait for him to be executed?!??

" I'm sure that Kondou would be very unhappy to hear his life was saved at the cost of Okita's." >:( And I'm sure that he would be even more unhappy to hear that Okita spent the rest of his days confined to his bed, in misery and anguish. >:(

The dream was pretty wholesome :'o

I guess protecting the things that are important to Kondou, like his legacy, is more important than protecting Kondou himself. Kondou entrusted his legacy to Okita, and so his efforts might be better spent elsewhere, rather than on rescuing Kondou. :'( That's up to him, though.

HUG ALERT!!! 8D

"No matter how many times he touched me, I couldn't have imagined ever tiring of the sensation..." XD The thirst is real!

"Y'know, ever since you came into my life, I've always given you a hard time..." WHERE IS THE LIE?

These two assholes in each other's arms, like "Welp, I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of telling you that I love you so we're just going to continue this totally not heterosexual hug right now and stfu."

:D I am happy to see Hijikata! However, I know someone who may feel differently -_-

"Would you like me to wake him." O_O Nooooot a good idea, Chizuru!

"Without me to blame, I doubt he'll have anything to motivate him, and I'm worried he'll lose the will to live." :O Hijikata, that's kind of sweet in a fucked up kind of way but you underestimate the power of LOVE >:)

THIS HAD BETTER NOT BE FUCKING KAORU AGAIN!!!

:O Kazama and Amagiri?! I was beginning to think that Kazama had lost interest in me. Or, at least, hoped he had.

"This evening... Isami Kondou was beheaded." I just gasped out loud! Kondou, no! D':

OMG, IS CHIZURU TRANSFORMING INTO A BADASS DEMON?! 8D 8D 8D

"A woman who has sullied herself with the water of life is unworthy of my love. Consider this over." ... IF I KNEW THAT THAT WAS ALL IT TOOK, I WOULD HAVE DRANK THAT FUCKING CONCOCTION YEARS AGO >_<

"You are dead to me." GOOD.

Awe, Okita! :'(

NOW I'M CRYING, TOO D'X Damn this game DX

Chapter 3:

Chasing down the Shinsengumi >:) ... Again! If this is anything like Kazama's route, this is going to be depressing af...

We're like two fuzzy wood creatures, going from cozy spot to cozy spot to snooze in during the day :')

"Be a good girl," >_< Staaaaaahhhp!!!

"They went thattaway!" XD I know that this situation is pretty dire but that sentence makes me chuckle!

"Fight...? You?" Ye bitch! >:) I got me my ochimizu powers now!

"How dare you, you bastard!" UM. YOU ATTACKED US!!! WE WERE TRYING TO HAVE A NAP!

*Slash, slash, squelch, splat* X_X

"Ahahaha! You're just helpless pigs!" -_- Uh, Okita? Calm the fuck down, k? You're starting to sound like Kazama!

"his sadistic display of sword mastery." Yup, they be the right words -_-

Ugh, I got shot. Probably shouldn't have been standing around doing NOTHING X_X

D: I killed a guy! GUYS, CHIZURU JUST STABBED SOMEONE IN THE HEART, COME AND SEE!!! :')

"Chizuru, you're trying to hard." *Hides guide* I don't know what you could possibly mean :) :) :)

:O a kunai?! Could it be... my boy YAM?!

YAM!!! :'D

"I just assumed you died or something." Okita is the queen of tact, as always :')

Wait, Yamazaki, don't stay behind on your own O':

NOOOOOOOOO O_O

YAMAZAKIIIIIIII!!!!

OMG HE'S OKAY!!! 8'D 8'D

"I... Cannot afford to die yet..." Doesn't stop you in most routes, though, does it? X_X

"This doesn't look good..." Oh no! Is he going to succumb to his injuries off screen?! D': Classic Yamazaki D,X

"You've been spying on us for days, and I didn't even notice." :') That's our Yam boy!

Aw, Okita gave Yamazaki the thank you!

I reeeeeaaally don't think that Kondou would want Okita to murder Hijikata X_X

"I am going to be late, but I promise to return." YOU HAD BETTER. >:( DON'T DIE, YAMAZAKI!

Owl <3 Hoot hoot to you too, my friend!

Don't kill Hijikata, you dumbass. -_-

"A penchant for violence" X_X That's Okita all right!

It would be funny if he were drinking from Chizuru's foot, instead... Just, something about the way he's holding her hand invites that image XD

FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! WHY DOES A BATTLE HAVE TO ERUPT EVERYWHERE WE GO!?!

"Okita grabbed my hand" 8D < Happy Chizuru!

Wait... I'M GETTING BLOODLUST?!? MONSTER CHIZURU IS UNLEASHED >:)

Oh, I guess not. Kinda disappointed, tbh XD

Ugh, can we just catch up to Hijikata already? Let's get this over with.

Wait, his sister was "wedded off to some deadbeat"!?! I wonder how old she was... :/

"I was bullied and given shit all the time." :'(

The CG of Okita giving Hijikata the evils is BEAUTIFUL! X'D

"He was a rich snob" somehow, I doubt that...

Wow, Okita really is seething with passionate jealousy for Hijikata... Even though Kondou gave him the sword X_X

I feel like Kondou's relationship with Hijikata is different enough than Okita and Kondou's that Okita's intense jealousy seems a bit much...

It sort of feels kind of like a kid being jealous of their dad's new girlfriend X_X

MORE HUGS >:D

"Before I knew it, you slithered your way into my heart..." That's a pretty weird but also adorable thing to say X'D SLITHER SLITHER

"And you know just what to say," I KNOW, UNCANNY, RIGHT :) :) :) *hides guide*

"We couldn't help but succumb to the hypnotic lull of our passionate embrace." XD Does this mean a fade-to-black is coming :P

I love that their following Hijikata tracks like they're hunting the wild Hijikata beast XD

Is he all alone?

Oh, he has a bodyguard XD

Really inappropriate time to mention this but this route makes Hijikata seem more attractive to me than before XD Maybe it's because of the contrast with Okita's sadistic, violent, volatile side... Maybe it's because he seems more vulnerable when being berated by Okita, idk XD Leave Hijikata alone, Okita!

"You could have saved him!" But Hijikata has RESPONSIBILITIES. He can't just abandon his men and their cause to save Kondou, even if he wanted to :'(

"I COULDN'T!!!" Yeah, you tell him, Hijikata >:(

OKITA, DON'T PUNCH HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE!!! I mean, uh... XD

Wait, we're not going with the Shinsengumi?! O_e

"Hijikata's a real dumbass, don't you think?" -_- .......NO!

Kondou reading to tiny Okita = mega cuteness!

"If I never met Kondou, there's no doubt in my mind that I'd be waaaaay more cuckoo than I am now." And nobody, NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT O_O

"You and Kondou are pretty similar" Obviously, that's a compliment and I'm super flattered but I reeeeeaaally hope that this relationship isn't just because Chizuru reminds him of Kondou XP

"My heart suddenly melted in my chest." What, again!?! Chizuru's heart had been through A LOT during this route -_-

"To be fair, it was a little strange of Okita to compare a woman he loved to a man he viewed as a father..." <<< See?! :P

Skipping off, hand in hand :')

Chapter 4:

Aw, tiny Chizuru sadness flashback </3

It's unthinkably awful, what happened to the village, but revenge =/= genocide.

Chizuru, y u lie? -_-

"There were men who took pleasure from their evil deeds." And demons, too... And Okita, to an extent XD

Ugh, I bet Kaoru's gonna sneak up on me while Okita's gone and be all, "Yeeeeesssss.... Give in to your anger... Feel the hate flow through you..." Fucking annoying hate goblin child.

OH, LOOK WHO IT IS!!!

"You're a real bitch, you know that?" Oh, I'M A BITCH??!! Sure thing, tiny asshole. -_-

"At long last, we can come together. We can be the siblings were born to be." ... Happy and free from the burdens of hate and bitterness? O_O

"We are going to massacre the evil forces conspiring within this country, for the good of our people." ... What people? The dead ones? Yeah, I'm sure they'll be reeeeeeaaal grateful from their graves. Sounds like you just want an excuse to torment some humans, you sadistic piece of shit -_-

"Suddenly, I craved blood..." OH HO!

"I... I craved Okita's blood..." 'Sonly fair >:P

"my entire body screamed to tear Okita limb from limb." 8O Yikes.

I... Kinda want to know what happens if I give in to the bloodlust... 😏

Buuuuut I gotta endure it. Damn.

Oh, it's cold up North, is it? ;P What can we possibly do to stay warm in bed?

PENGUIN HUDDLE is hopefully the answer.

<3 :D Looking up at the stars together!

"I want to make your wishes come true. All of them..." :D Okita is every girl's dream sexy murder genie :)

""If you still plan on walking away from me and everything you have..." Okita reached his hand to me kindly." :) :) :)

"Then, I will kill you " FFS XD THIS BITCH!!!

I bet we're gonna kiss now or something. Damn that sexy murder genie X_X

Oh, no kissing, just crying XD That's... Actually more appropriate, even if they are happy tears :')

O WAIT, "I grabbed ahold of him madly" ...

SMOOCHY SMOOCHY >:)

"For once in my life, I felt whole," Awe </3 "the thought of which nearly brought my tears." BITCH, UR ALREADY CRYING XD

"each breath between our zealous smacking grew more strained and sensuous." O_e ... Uh, what did I just read? XD XD XD

"now that Kondou's gone... I only have one reason to fight." Uh... I have a feeling that it's a Chizuru reason... He really needs to find his own motivations, instead of just attaching himself to the causes of people who give him attention. Okay, that was a bit harsh. X_X I'm sorry, Okita!

"How about another kiss, huh?" "B-but, um... W-we just kissed..." ... SO!?! GIRL, YOU KNOW YOU'RE HOT FOR HIM!

"I'm askin' you if you'll have me or not." ... When he says "have", does he mean . . .

"Well, I think there's a time and place for everything." ... Damn. Is this game suggesting that if I say yes, I'm a slut and he'll think less of me? XP BOOOOOOO!

"Watching you squirm like that makes me want to play with you even more." XD As I predicted: Big Dom Energy!

"As long as I will live, I will crave your touch..." *Munches popcorn* Just screw, damn it!

"Our plump lips smeared against one another, and he pulled at a fistful of my hair, drawing me deeper into him as he bit forcefully into my lower lip." :O ... Kinky! >:P I totally called it XD

"I do not mind putting up with anything you might do to me, Okita." How... Romantic?? O_e Just admit that you're horny, Chizuru! There's no shame, I swear!

"I bet when I'm gone, you'll sob like a baby." :'O YES. OBVIOUSLY. >:'(

"Okita spooned me," Classic XD

Ew, Kodo.

"You look pale. Please do not tell me that you have been refusing to drink blood." XD Thanks for your concern...

Bless Okita for offering himself as an all-you-can-eat buffet X_X

"If I were to commit to this relationship, then it meant I needed to separate myself from my family." DRAMAAAA! :D *Pulls out another bag of popcorn*

"I have no desire to carve a life that comes at the expense of hurting others." PREACH B)

#hakuoki #hakuouki #okita #okita souji #edo blossoms #LONG #SALT #otome adventures #SO MANY WORDS #I DIDN'T KNOW THAT TUMBLR HAD A WORD LIMIT BUT I GUESS I FOUND IT #Tune in for part 4 #i have an addiction