#sophie watches the untamed

[leahluvr]

gingerbread team - leah williamson x reader

genre: kid fic, pure fluff, baking with your daughter

warnings: pregnancy (nothing bad)

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“sophie,” you gently said, reaching toward the small arms of your daughter, grabbing her sleeves and carefully rolling them up her arms, “i don’t want you to get dough on your new christmas sweater!”

the kitchen was already a mess, flour scattered across the kitchen bench, mixing bowls, and dirtied empty containers filling almost every space left. after decorating the christmas tree, it was only fitting to bake an assortment of gingerbread biscuits.

leah, like captain she is, took charge, demonstrating the precision of mixing while flicking her eyes back and forth to the recipe book. even after becoming a mother, she still couldn’t cook to save her life.

you watched from across the countertop, sitting at a stool and admiring the view of your daughter standing on a dining chair, leaning over the quartz countertop.

“alright, sweetheart, we want to mix the ingredients so they aren’t chunky. see how i’m folding the flour into the dough? that’s it, gentle circles.”

sophie nodded with determination, her small hands mimicking leah’s careful motions. as your daughter struggled with kneading the tough dough, leah shot you a proud glance, appreciating your little one’s enthusiasm for her task. you smiled in return, giggling when you noticed sophie had her tongue sticking out of her mouth in concentration.

“soph, let me help. i know, it’s tough, hey?” leah suggested, also putting her hands into the dough sophie was kneading, helping her to get the task done quicker.

when the mixing was finally complete, sophie let her intrusive thoughts win. your daughter, with her palms open as wide as possible, planted them into the remaining flour on the counter, creating a huge flour cloud.

“soph! no!” leah sternly said, turning to sophie quickly and snatching her hands away from the white powder on the table.

“leah, babe,” you looked over at her, chuckling, “let her be, it’s christmas time ‘cmon.”

“okay then, flour fight!” leah declared, reaching her now floury hands toward sophie’s face, who squealed in excitement.

giggles erupted, and sophie quickly grabbed a small handful of flour, pathetically chucking it at her mother. leah exaggeratedly coughed and playfully growled at your daughter, making her scream loudly. they ran around the kitchen in circles, sophie squealing so loudly.

“mummy! mummy! help! mamas gonna get me!” sophie came sprinting directly toward you, crashing and colliding into you and your swollen belly, making you wince from the sudden force.

“hey lovey, i know you’re excited, but remember what mama and mummy said about being rough with mummy?” you asked quietly, trying to calm her down in the process.

you brushed her untamed hair out of her face and placed your hands on her slightly powdery flushed cheeks.

leah quickly picked up on what was happening, coming to your side for assistance.

“mummy has your baby sibling growing in her tummy, so remember you’ve got to be careful with her, at least just for now, got it?” leah told sophie, patting her on the back.

your heart sank when sophie nodded, looking toward the ground with tears beginning to well in her eyes. her shy sobs quickly became wails of despair. she quickly wrapped her dirty hands around your neck and cried into your neck, letting out a ‘i’m sorry, mummy.’

you internally cursed at yourself, knowing there would now be small white handprints on your back and shoulders, but you let it go.

“sophie, baby, there’s no need to cry, it was just an accident, right? now let’s say you and mama get back to baking, hey?”

after the biscuits had been baked, the decorating stage was ready to commence.

“who’s first on the list?” leah asked, looking at the array of gingerbread men spread in front of her and her daughter.

“aunty katie!” sophie responded.

sophie, at least, tried her best at decorating the biscuit with precision. it was nowhere near perfect, but you’d admit it was pretty good for a 4-year-old.

sophie had opted to colour and decorate each gingerbread man based on every member of the arsenal team and their national team kits.

with katie’s biscuit complete, it was onto the next arsenal player.

“katie’s gonna love that, soph. now who next?” leah encouraged, high-fiving her daughter’s hands.

“tante lia!” sophie exclaimed, holding another plain biscuit in her hand.

despite your attempt to keep yourself awake to assist your wife and daughter clean up the mess they created, the exhaustion of pregnancy overwhelmed you as leah ushered you off to bed, demanding you needed your beauty sleep.

the next morning, sophie, leah, and yourself walked into the arsenal training grounds hand in hand, leah carrying a box of individually wrapped biscuits for each and every player on the team.

when you had found out that leah had stayed up after putting sophie to sleep in order to carefully package each and every gingerbread man, you wanted to cry; pregnancy made you emotional. as if you couldn’t love her any more than you already did. she was more than any mother you could have asked for your daughter and child to come.

you walked into the changing room; the players in the midst of their chatting and changing, paused as leah approached with your daughter’s hand in hers and a box of biscuits clutched in her other arm, while you closely trailed behind.

“aunty katie!” sophie exclaimed, running up to the irish player and grinning widely when she lifted her into her arms and pulled her into a tight hug.

“hey kiddo, what’s in ya box?” mccabe grinned, crouching down eye-level with your daughter.

“there’s gingerbread mans are for you and everyone!”

“sophie, that’s so sweet! thank you so much, pea. did you make these? they look amazing.”

leah passed the clear-wrapped gingerbread man to sophie, who then shoved it in katie’s hands, allowing her to have a closer look at it.

“mama helped me, but i decorated them. it’s green for your other team!”

“soph, that’s fantastic. how’d you also know i was number 11 at ireland?”

“mama told me.”

“you know what? your an amazing kid!” katie praised, pulling sophie into yet another hug and pressing a rough kiss to her head.

after a repeated series of sophie gifting her customised gingerbread men and receiving lots of hugs and praise, the changing room started to empty, leaving your own family left.

“good luck with training, baby,” you whispered to leah, pressing a kiss to her lips and letting her go, “i love you!”

“love you more, see you in a few!” leah shouted, jogging away to join her teammates on the pitch, “soph’s got a surprise for you!”

you were now left with your daughter in the mess of a changing room, looking at her. she had her hands behind her back, shyly looking toward the ground.

“what have you got, missy?” you slyly asked, poking at your daughter’s chest.

she passed another clear-wrapped biscuit into your palms and beamed at you, watching as you unraveled it.

it was another generic gingerbread man except it had a carefully written ‘mummy’ on its chest and a heart-like shape on its centre. your heart swelled with joy at your daughters creation, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

“baby, what’s this?” you ask, looking at sophie in the eyes.

“i made it for you and the baby, i’m sorry i hurt you mummy.” sophie said quietly, fiddling with her fingers.

“sophie, honey, you didn’t hurt me; it was just a little knock, but thank you. i love it so much. i love you so much!” you said hugging her before peppering kisses all over her face as she giggled because it tickled her. “now, let’s watch mama train!”

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an: this was so much longer than i expected it to be, so…sorry! anyway it’s christmas month so 😛

(sorry for any errors fyi)

#leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso x reader #arsenal wfc x reader #engwnt x reader

[annerbhp]

Apparently I’ve been on A03 nearly 17 years now, with only one year in there where I didn’t post at least a chapter of a fic. My A03 account currently has 986,328 hits overall. I wonder if I can get to a million hits before the end of the year? Wild. In celebration, here is a list of fic with the most hits in each year I’ve posted to AO3:

2006 -

five ways Sam Carter got pregnant (SG-1, Sam/Various, cw: non-con)

2007 -

Egeria’s Legacy (SG-1, Sam/Jack) Tok'ra trouble is brewing and Sam gets caught in the middle.

2008 -

String Theory (SG-1, Sam/Jack) Dr. Samantha Carter joins the SGC and discovers a life she never expected.

2009 -

The Raggedy Edge (SG-1/Firefly, Sam/Jack, Daniel/Vala, Malcolm/Inara, Kaylee/Simon) During a rescue mission gone awry, Sam and Jack end up stranded in another galaxy where they find themselves passengers on a ship called Serenity.

2010 -

Compliance (SG-1, Sam/Jack) Carter has always been good at following orders.

2011 -

we build then we break (and build up again) (SG-1, Sam/Jack) Sam’s last mission on SG-1, and the life that follows.

2012 -

No fics!

2013 -

Entropy (CSI, Gil Grisom/Sara Sidle) They've been here before. "Forget Me Not" Post-Ep.

2014 -

Reparations (Leverage, Maggie Collins, Maggie&Sophie) Maggie sees the world differently now.

2015 -

Life is What Happens (Harry Potter, Harry/Ginny) It's their life, and they'll do what works for them. It's not like they've ever particularly cared about rules.

2016 -

Hard Day’s Night (SG-1, Jack-centric, Sam/Jack, cw: domestic terrorism) Jack always knew that desk was going to be the death of him, just not quite so literally. When Homeworld Security comes under attack, Jack discovers he hasn’t lost his edge, or his team. Set post-Continuum. 

2017 -

The Changeling (Harry Potter, Ginny-centric, Harry/Ginny) Ginny is sorted into Slytherin. It takes her seven years to figure out why.

2018 -

we can’t control (watch me unfold) (Harry Potter, Harry/Ginny) It’s a simple arrangement. Between her grueling quidditch schedule and his mysterious auror duties, Ginny and Harry find time to have spectacular sex with no strings attached. It’s incredibly uncomplicated. Except when it isn’t.

2019 -

lips long parching (Harry Potter, Harry/Ginny) Going solo to her ex’s wedding is not exactly Ginny’s idea of a good time, but thanks to a smuggled flask and a rather sullen Harry Potter, it’s about to get a lot more interesting.

2020 -

in my head we do everything right (Harry Potter, Harry/Ginny) It’s not as easy as it sounds, going from hypotheticals to reality. Harry and Ginny navigate life after Hogwarts. Third in the Armistice Series.

2021 -

my kingdom come undone (The Untamed/CQL, LWJ/WWX) --if I am doomed to death, then at least I could be killed by you-- Wei Ying has lost control and there is only one person who can stop him. It's Lan Wangji’s greatest fear unfurling right in front of him.

2022 -

break upon your shore (The Untamed/CQL, LWJ/WWX) Wei Ying’s attention has chased Lan Wangji since the first day they met—relentless, unforgiving, his eyes always looking. One day Lan Wangji can’t help but look back. (WIP)

#annerb fic #retrospective #fics with most hits #don't think i didn't notice all my porniest fics are in there #lol #doing this makes me feel better about my writing desert lately #it's okay #look how much i've accomplished #and how i will always go back to lower case poetic titles #one million hits #can i get there?

[jabbage]

#Letters from Watson #lettersfromwatson

[psychicbergara]

sophie WELCOME BACK can i ask what fandom you fell into 👀

AAAA thank you so much arby!! 🥺💖💖

alskjdfd 4 years late i fell into the wangxian fandom. i watched the untamed and it has me by the THROAT its so tragic for me but i love them sooo much the ship is just SO romantic ugh. and im less engaging in the fandom and more just consuming content tbh but im having fun :D

#thank you for the warm welcome MWAH #asks #sophie answers

[irresistiibles]

starter call for the mini event!! under the cut is a little blurb about each of my characters and what they’re doing and it’s so long and i’m so sorry. i’m not capping this at the moment since i can hopefully queue stuff wednesday and friday before the weekend, so if you want a starter please reply with who you want it from and which of your characters you want it for! also if you want to plot specifically what characters are doing definitely feel free to send me a message or toss this a like!

amber | genshin impact | starters - legolas,  asmodeus alice

archery!! this girl loves it and will be in the archery field forever. she thinks it could be better with some pyrotechnics, but she always thinks that. she’ll probably also dress for the occasion since the outfits remind her of home.

asami sato | the legend of korra | starters - 

may give knife/axe throwing a go. she doesn’t really have experience with it but i think she’d learn fast. 

astoria greengrass | harry potter | starters - fred weasley

very intrigued by the glassware and candle making stuff. she can’t do it herself but she will like to watch it and buy stuff. may do a few simple magic tricks. will probably lowkey dress up

blue sargent | the raven cycle | starters - 

lurking around the tarot card readings and being judgy about it and also helping at the jewelry making stand and craft stand, it’s all about the grind

ciel phantomhive | black butler | starters -  sisudatu, elizabeth midford

unaware ciel thinks this is all super cool. he probably dressed up and will be buying far too many souvenirs. not built to do anything too athletic so he’ll mostly be sticking by the shops and stands.

chihiro ogino | spirited away | starters - sophie hatter

helping sophie out at their stand selling hats and flowers and bopping around. she’ll probably try some games and rides. staying away from food stands out of principal. going to be all over the place

esther mckinnon | harry potter | starters - marina mckinnon, dale cooper

thinks the whole thing is very cute and is probably dressed up. trying like all the games, crafts, and rides that she can get herself to

glinda upland | wicked | starters - audrey rose

absolutely in some elaborate dress and loving all the dress up and shopping opportunities. she may try some of the potion or fortune telling stuff cause she thinks it’s cute 

jin ling | the untamed | starters - wei wuxian, lan jingyi, lan sizhui

absolutely living it up on the archery field. he could do some sword fighting and shopping as well. won’t be in costume his self but will see if he can find one for his dog fairy 

kyoshi | avatar the last airbender | starters - apollo, cornelia hale

will be just generally checking stuff out. intrigued by the performances even though she won’t be taking part. could be absolutely talked into trying axe throwing or pulling that sword out of the stone

lily evans | harry potter | starters - marlene mckinnon, remus lupin, max mayfield,  emmeline vance, albus severus potter

feeling a little weird being out while her husband doesn’t remember her, like just kinda lonely, but will be doing her best to have a good time. she’ll try out some crafts and watching performances and keep herself generally distracted, but probably won’t stay super long

mianmian | the untamed | starters - xiao xingchen

probably won’t take part in sword fighting but will judge people’s technique from a distance. doesn’t really understand everything going on but will look around. she’s showing up in clothes she would wear back home cause she thinks they look better than all the european stuff lmao 

michiru kaiou | sailor moon | starters -  usagi tsukino

having a good time doing some of the crafts and watching performances. i’m tempted to say she’d try out a fiddle but it’s not really her style, so she’ll probably just be enjoying from a distance. i’ll probably message the main and have her do some face painting for people though.

mob | mob psycho 100 | starters -  phawin wanichakarnjonkul

doesn’t know enough about european culture to really understand all of this but hell still check out stands and maybe use his psychic powers to pretend to do magic for kids, though is too awkward for a legit performance or anything. may be pressured into buying some clothes and then wouldn’t actually feel comfortable enough to wear them 

nie huaisang | the untamed | starters - seo haebom, lan wangji, jiang cheng

full cultivator robes may not fit the theme but he’s wearing them anyway. mostly sticking by the crafts and shopping because he knows what he likes

rita skeeter | harry potter | starters - martin blackwood, marlene mckinnon, albus dumbledore

will show up to see what’s going on, decide it looks nerdy as shit, maybe buy one drink and a piece of jewelry, make a mean tweet about it all, and then probably see herself out after complaining a little

san | princess mononoke | starters -  jeyne westerling

doesn’t understand the appeal of most of this and doesn’t like being around too many people but she will like showing off at knife throwing and may try some food

shang qinghua | scum villian self saving system | starters -

staying far away from the activities including weaponry but having a good time trying some of the games and trying like all the food stands

shi qingxuan | heaven official’s blessing | starters - ming yi, hua cheng

1000% drunk. shopping and having fun not too invested in anything in particular but thinks the whole thing is super cute and will be happily socializing.

tessa gray | the shadowhunters chronicles | starters -  jem carstairs, magnus bane, issy lightwood, alec lightwood, eloise bridgerton

happy to be in a comfortable dress again. tempted to try knife throwing but could use some encouragement. she’ll also probably check out the crafts because those are fun even if she isn’t good at them. 

toph beifong | avatar the last airbender | starters - pippin took, suki, aang, katara, sokka

fighting the urge to not just beak the stone with bending and get excalibur. will see if there’s any games she can scam

victor nikiforov | yuri on ice | starters - nick nelson

not as into this as the winter market since there’s no skating but he’ll probably go to the photo booth and check out some of the performances 

zagreus | hades | starters -  hughie campbell

he doesn’t really understand the faire but is intrigued nonetheless. he’ll be doing a little bit of everything but will absolutely show off some sword and archery skills. absolutely down to do some friendly fighting with people and will probably try to genuinely pull excabilur out of the stone

zhongli | genshin impact | starters - lumine

intrigued by it all. he doesn’t know much about european history but at the end of the day he will always be a history nerd. probably mostly just looking around and chatting and doing too much shopping

#hopefully these all make sense #i wrote a chunk of this during work #hw: starter call

[boysbeloving]

10 Fandoms, 10 Characters, 10 tags

tagged by @ahdriking thanks babe! Sorry this is super late!

okay....i might not hit 10? lol but i've also cheated twice 🙃

the following list is in no particular order

Supernatural: Castiel

Yes, yes yes...SPN...sorry...but Cas really is VERY close to my heart...the journey this angel goes through...learning about humanity...learning with humanity...and everything Cas experiences on earth with and without the Winchesters (Misha's portrayal of Cas definitely adds to why Cas is my fav)

2. Queer As Folk: Brian Kinney

This bitch istg...so i watched QAF after it ended and it was during a very difficult/tumultuous/uncertain time of my life...and then having Brian enter my life made it worse 🙃 (in the best possible ways)...He's so annoying, so rude, so slutty, so hurt, so alone...and i just...want to tell him that it's okay to love...okay to feel hurt...okay to reach out...okay to ask for help...no one will think any less of him...'you'll always be young, you'll always be beautiful, you're brian kinney for fuck's sake' okay i'm gonna go cry brb

3. Spirited Away: Haku

He dragon

4. Howl's Moving Castle: Howl and Sophie

They are BRILLIANT!!! as individuals and as a couple...love them so so much...their combined badassery is unparalleled...Howl will be a dramatic bitch and Sophie would be like 'i gotta go save my dramatic bitch'...also..Howl SO gets pegged by Sophie (i know she told me)

5. Kuroshitsuji: Sebastian Michaelis

uuuufffffff.....he's the devil....what more can i say....

6. Goblin: Goblin

okay when eun tak writes 'he has a sad smile' and they ACTUALLY run a montage of his sad smiles...bestie i died....i cried SO MUCH during THAT scene (no spoilers)...he's immortal, he's so done with your shit, he's hurt, he's in pain, he's burdened with life and all you want to do is hold this immortal being and rock him back and forth (also Gong Yoo ssi is just phenomenal...if you haven't watched it then please watch this kdrama)

7. Moon Lovers: Wang So

another hurt man....wow i have a type don't i...it's the 'i can fix/fuck/accept/love him' trope...he was never accepted for who he was, never loved, and it's this lack of familial love in the formative years of his life that fill him with unimaginable rage...and how he still simply moves forward...he achieves a lot later in life (but at what cost uuuffff)...i love the angst....right up my alley...(Lee Joon Gi the actor you are...again please watch this kdrama if you haven't already)

8. Kinnporsche: Kinn Anakinn Theerapanyakul

*waves hand* this entire blog is effectively dedicated to the man...just check my pinned post lol

9. The Untamed: Lan Wangji and Xue Yang

okay...wow...Lan-zhan <333 (i know i'm not supposed to call him that, only one person has the right hehehee)....his stoicism, his no-nonsense persona, his pride, his sophisticated rebellion, his loud and proud declaration of love (and it's not words....it's his actions), his hair, just everything <33 (and the absolute gremlin Wang Yibo portrays him in the live action....boyo!!! it's whiplash y'all hheeehehe...and yibo is my baby btw)

AND Xue Yang...he's one of the villains....he appeared on screen and i was like 'this one....i'm gonna take this one'

so ya...i like one of the heroes and one of the villains...i got range y'all...i got range...hhheehehe

okay now to tag others...do i even talk to 10 people here? hahhahaha i'm not sure lol....but here we go (as always please do this only if you feel like doing it!)

@sereinartemishan @discluded @rainbowcolored7 @aayuthaezhuthu @skamskada @domsaysstuff @mickolo @deliciouswastelandgoddess @matan4il @nattaphum

and anyone else who wants to do this!

#tag game #thanks ahdri! <3

[stansayshi]

thanks for the tag @lapetitepersonne ✨️

Rules: tag 9 people you’d like to get to know better

3 Ships:

Spencer and Olivia - truly the embodiment of best friends to lovers excellence (even with the current angst).

Ryan and Sophie - i absolutely adored the enemies to friends to lovers journey they had and i miss them sm.

Kensi and Deeks - i have shipped these two idiots for over a decade (wtf?!?!) and they are still my faves.

First ever ship:

Piper and Leo from Charmed. the whole witch/whitelighter forbidden love they had going on was top notch.

Last song:

Too Well by Reneé Rapp. the entire album actually.

Last movie:

Home Alone 3. it was orthodox christmas today, and watching the home alone movies is my family's christmas tradition

Currently reading:

rereading Untamed by Glennon Doyle

Currently watching:

Friends because i don't have the brain power to watch new shows

Currently consuming:

unhealthy amounts of coke. as in the drink. don't do drugs kids.

Currently craving:

a good night's sleep

Tagging:

@athenaea @fruitloopdingusss @little-star-in-the-night @beamgreem @do-you-hear-the-bloggers-sing @wingwaver @playitreal @crazyrandom-music @sunflower-honeyy

#i answer #tagged #tag game

[mortimerlatrice]

So this is a bit belated but I was tagged bye @ahdriking for

10 Fandoms, 10 Characters, 10 Tags!

I'm bad at tagging people but let's assume 10 people will see this and they should all consider themselves tagged! ;)

This is so difficult! Characters and their stories go in one side and out the other unless they really strike a chord with me. It's pretty rare that I remember them explicitly and even rarer to seek out fandom. However! I pulled together 10 characters that did mean the world to me so here we go!

Howl's Moving Castle - Specifically the absolutely wreck that is Howl Pendragon (book version is best but Ghibli had that clutterbitch aesthetic and I dig it). He's fussy, he's a bitch, he's got THE worst case of 'gifted child syndrome' and I love him. Also Sophie looks at him and thinks, "You could fix him? Well I can stoop to his level," and that's grand. Bad bitch solidarity.

Teen Wolf - I encountered this show and read fanfiction about this show before I watched the show. Thank god I did. The show has a definite campy quality and it fits the typical questionable taste of every CW show I've sat through, but STILES STILLINSKI makes it all worth it. Silly little ADHD boy who's literally the best friend ever (even if his loyalties often narrow down to the friend only and not the friend's loved ones) and no one in this show deserved him. Also Void Styles was just sofucljlsdkfjlsjkj.

Hannibal - While I love Will dearly, Mads Mikkelson's Hannibal Lecter made this show for me. I watched this with a friend and we cackled like crows every time he made a cannibal joke. His fashion is immaculate (and awful? but it works) and he openly murders homophobic assholes. What's not to like?

Sens8 - Can I consider them one entity? Just the whole entangled lot of them?? I love them so much. I love the dynamic of them being there for each other and connecting with each other across varied experiences, beliefs, and ideologies. I love them learning to cope together and becoming something greater than any one of them individually. If the polycule cluster doesn't count as one, then I'm going with Amanita. Who is decidedly not part of the cluster but is the best individual character with her 3 dads.

American Gods - So sticking to season one on this? I honestly didn't make it super far into season two and haven't seen a scrap of season three. Gossip would have me believe it was downhill from there but idk. Anyway. SALIM and his boyfriend sweater. Salim getting what he thought he always wanted and practically throwing it away because the Djinn/Jinn/Ifrit(?) railed him so good and he's in love. Did I mention his BOYFRIEND SWEATER???

The Untamed - I spent soooo much time in this fandom and I have a lot of feelings about a lot of the characters but most of all Lan Wangji. He's just so... everything. I related to him so much—to being misunderstood, to loving too hard and too impotently. There's a lot of tangled up feelings in him but I just love him.

What We Do in the Shadows - Guillermo de la Cruz, the badass hunter himself. His character arc from obsessed doormat to insane assassin (who is still kind of a doormat) and is now finally coming into his own... Ugh. I don't know if I want him to bag Nandor because he deserves whatever he wants or for him to finally finish growing out his spine like an amphibian and fuck off with his life because he honestly can.

Our Flag Means Death - Jim. Just Jim. They are feisty and sexy and intense and their relationship with Oluwande is so sweet. Their story meant a lot to me and to other folks I know. While a lot of us have stories that don't go so smoothly (their friends accepted them with only a few questions, their parental figure accepted them with barely a blink, and their love interest never gave a damn either way) I think it's so beautiful to see a world where coming out just... goes right. I mean, sort of. Fingers crossed for season two.

Kinnporsche - I love all of them and I want to bundle them up in little terrariums and keep them on my shelf. Porsche is my favorite though, so he would get extra yard time. In the same vein as why I like Jim's story, I love how Porsche's story was handled. He and Kinn really do have some of the best chemistry I've ever seen and Porsche just fills space so beautifully and it was great to see him begin to come into his own.

The Sandman - This one's a bit different. I liked the show well enough but I'm not sure I'd really say I'm in the fandom? I don't find myself desperately wanting more beyond just "next episode" but that could be because Kinnporsche has me by the throat. Except Lucifer Morningstar portrayed by Gwendoline Christie is just so stunning that I want her to do anything to me. This is just pure, unadulterated lust. You should see her boots. I also really want a crossover of her Lucifer with Tilda Swinton's Gabriel because they would be the best snide siblings.

This got WAAAAY long. Oops. Thank you for tagging me ahdriking!!!

#tag you're it #just me #fandom talk

[thirteenthblackbird]

My Halloween Fics

Went looking for them just for fun. 

Linus Meets the Great Pumpkin. Charlie Brown fandom. Linus learns the true meaning of Halloween (cute / fluffy, not all dark and evil).

Look, if anybody in The Untamed would end up jumping ‘verses, it’d be Lan Jingyi. In It’s the Great Pumpkin, Lan Jingyi he meets Linus (Charlie Brown) and in We’re Gonna Pay a Call On, it’s Gomez Addams. 

In Masks, (BtVS) Ethan watching Giles after that turning into your costumes Halloween episode. 

A couple of Leverage stories. In Trick or Treat, Parker asks the kids to pick a lock before she’ll give them candy. Ooh, Marzipan: Parker’s first friend. And in Go Ask Alice, Sophie dresses Parker as Alice in Wonderland for a costume party.

#fanfic #Halloween #charlie brown #the untamed #the addams family #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #leverage

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 50 - watching notes (part 2)

I had to split these liveblogging notes into two posts because tumblr doesn’t allow for more then 10 pictures in one post and it couldn’t limit myyself on the screenshots ^^

Click here for part 1!

THE HUG!!!

People so rarely HUG on this show!!! 😭😭😭

So of course, wwx immediately jokes

Guys he's OKAY!

That's wwx, not exactly like from the start, he couldn't be, but that's HIM. He's healing!! 😭😭😭

A Yuan You Little Shit!!! 😂

Embarrassing your dad in front of your other dad

"And when a pretty lady passes by..." 😂

That's the face of a man who does NOT want his husband to hear such a thing :D

And look at lwj's face

That SMILE!!!

Don't tell me this isn't the little family he longed for all these years that wei Wuxian was dead! 😭😭😭

"I will still plant you in that pit. Understand?"

Oh, he's immediately in parent mode. I'm overflowing with emotions gute 😭😭😭

I only noticed this when o took the screenshot but IS HE TOUCHING THE HEADBAND? 😭

And more importantly, lan Sizhui is letting him!

THE LEG HUG 😭😭😭😭

THEY'RE A FAMILY YOU GUYS!!!

They're little and broken but good, yes, still good 😭😭😭😭

Wen Ning 💔😥

I'm not good with good byes 😭

He'll walk back to cloud recess with A Yuan! 😭😭😭

"For the rode ahead, let me be on my own."

I'm so proud of him!!!!

But still so so so sad

This feels like saying good bye to a friend guys

Or like the end of lotr when the fellowship parts. It's that sadness that settles in your stomach like a warm cup of tea. It's still sadness, but it's comforting

I'm trying to somehow give wird to what I'm feeling because it's just SO much

Lan Zhan ... what are you doing?

No

Don't let these two part as well

No

No

I can't deal with that

No

No

Holy shit that silence

That silence after their melody

Guys no

Okay, there's still 12 minutes kettle

Holy shit it's Gusu

They're both at Gusu

That gave me scare

THEIR SONG!!

I'm still crying ...

WHAT A SHOT!!

I haven't stopped crying in a bout 20 minutes btw

They got their wish guys! 😭😭😭

And... lwj is chief cultivator now? Did I catch that right?

These two!!!!!

WHAT AN ENDING!!!

I'm not used to getting these okay?? 😭😭

Whaaaaaaaat

Right!

There's still the nie Huaisang question 😳

I cried so much I nearly forgot

Wait ... that's... that's

Was he the one who sent the letter????

😱😱😱

SO IT WAS HIM????!!!!

The whole plot against jgy's plot was HIM???

IT WAS HIM!!!

I

Am

Floored

Wait what???

He even let Mo Xuanyu out, leading to wei Wuxian's resurrection?

I hadn't even made that connection!!!

WHAT KIMD OF CHARACTER OS THIS??

Like holy ... shit

They had me

Right until ... well really now, though I did suspect something for a second last episode

But still

They had me!

I did not see that coming!

😳

NO!!!

Can you not head different ways???😭😭😭

Can you not do this to me TWICE show??

Oh god, the way they look at each other

"I will wander the world and make it my own." Oh god guys. Guys. It FITS! The orphan, the outcast, the untamed. He's embracing it! 😭

And lan Wangji... he's chief cultivator. He can't always wander around ... 💔💔

Guys ...

"As long as the sea is bound to wash up on the sand, and stars are above you, we will meet again."

Fuck it, that deserved cursives

I. Cannot. Explain. To you what I'm feeling right now

This this right here

I love it and I hate it

This kind of bitter-sweet and gentle and peaceful "until we meet again"

It hits so so deep

That's... that's life

A thousand "until we meet again"s, even to those you love most

And there is nothing more tender than a promise, we will!

And it fits! As bitter-sweet as it is! It's also so them! They've always kept each other go when they needed it. Because that's what you do for those you love. You let them go. :')

Guys ... I'm overflowing with emotion

OH MY GOD WANGXIAN 😭😭😭

"Way ahead of you."

He was!!! He was!!!

Always one step ahead :')

It's a promise! All of this! This whole ending! It's bittersweet and a parting of the ways, but every sentence spoken is a promise: "We will find each other"!!!

Guys ...

I'm crying so hard

This hits something deep in me

I'm not going to tell you half my life's story but "let go of what you love" is something I learned early and this hits EXACTLY that spot

But ... in a good way 😅

I ...

Again the sound I made when the big orchestral wangxian part ended and it was just wei Wuxian's flute playing was not human

I watched it without typing from there, quite frankly, partly because I was hiccuping, trying to hold in sobs

So what I'm writing now is after I've finished watching.

I honestly can't explain to you what I'm feeling now. That last scene ...

The flute playing into the silence ... already did so much to me

And then

And then

And ...

I have no words

I still have tears in my eyes typing this, even though I took five minutes to get myself together

What I can't show in screenshot, but what took my breath away the most was the fact that Wei Wuxian stops playing just before the end of the song

It's the second to last note he's ending on and ....

The last note of Wangxian never gets played!!!

The song isn't over!

WANGXIAN isn't over! 😭😭😭

I ... I can't put into words what that did to me

I heard that last note that REALLY WASNT THE LAST NOTE and I gasped

Because it just klicked in that moment

Something in my head klicked that THIS WAS HOW THEY'RE TELLING US !!!

This song isn't over

This STORY, their story, isn't over!

And that silence right after the song didn't quite end it took my breath away

It's like the show is telling us!

The silence! THE SILENCE IS WHAT MATTERS!

Look at the space in between! Listen to the silence! Listen to that note that could not be played! This! This is what we're ending on! Listen!

I want to bow down to whover wrote and directed this show!

Guys! I don't know how the book ends (and don't tell me!!) But they took the fact that they can't make this romance "explicit" and made poetry instead ...

All of it ALL OF IT is a promise: "we will meet again", "way ahead of you", the song isn't over, "Wei Ying" ... it's all a promise

I'm speechless

I'm crying and I'm smiling and I can't stop!

And then, of course, that last shot

The one wwx is smiling at Lan Wangji outside the shot (because again, look at what we can not show you!)

I cannot even begin to describe how happy I am that his smiling face as he looks at lan Wangji is the last thing were seeing

I'm smiling. I have tears streaming down my face and I'm smiling. :')

And then EVEN THE THANK YOU NOTE AT THE END FITS THE THEME!!! 😭😭😭

"Thanks to the author, Mo Xiang Tong Chou for bringing the characters to life."

"May their wishes come true thereafter." 😭😭😭

"Until next time."

.

.

.

I ... I'm speechless

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose

Thank you thank you thank you guys! (I might be a tat more emotional than usual right now 😅) honestly, thank you for the great discussions and your insights and reading my rambling and especially thanks to those of you who got me to watch this show in the first place. I am so so so happy right now and so sad that it's over! 💙🖤

#the untamed #sophie watches the untamed #wei wuxian #wwx #lan wangji #lwj #wangxian #lan sizhui #wen ning #jiang cheng #lan xichen #jin guangyao #jin ling #the untamed liveblog #nie huaisang #still haven't fully processed that reveal

[elenirlachlagos]

@inessencedevided summarising what everyone felt throughout most of the show...

#The Untamed #sophie watches the untamed

[shadowglens]

my thoughts on the untamed under the cut (warning: it’s really fucking long):

the only two things i vaguely didn’t like about the show:

the fact that we had to listen to meng yao monologue for like two episodes at the end about why he did everything, like i get it, it helps to make those clear connections, but i really couldn’t care less about yao and just wanted someone to stab him already (thank god for nie huaisang honestly)

the fact that most of the female characters die (and kinda horribly) to make the male characters sad / to progress their character arcs. like i wasn’t too mad about it but i liked the ladies so much.

apart from that though i literally loved every moment of the show!!! i LOVED IT!! i haven’t fervently adored anything like this in such a long time and it was so ... refreshing? to like something? and not be worried about other people

there’s just .... SO MANY THINGS about this show that really truly got to me and i don’t know where to start

lets start with wei wuxian: i’m forever gonna be fucked up about this boy because he gave everything he had, LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING, to make sure the people he cared about were ok and protected with little regard for his own life or how people viewed him and i’m SO fucked up about it. like he gave up his own golden core for his brother, he turned against the entire cultivation world to save wen qing and wen ning and the remnants of the wen clan because they were Good People Who Didn’t Deserve Execution. he would have done AnYtHiNg for cheng and yanli!!! and don’t even get my started on lan wangji like fuck. FUCK! he would have done anything, given ANYTHING, to make sure the people he loves are safe and protected. he doesn’t matter, but them??? he would do ANYTHING

and lan wangji ..... arguably my favourite character on this whole show .... i don’t even know if i have the words to describe HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE HIM. his progression as an individual and the progression of his relationship with wwx really fuck me up, him coming to realise the world isn’t as black and white as he’d been raised to believe, starting to question right vs wrong. also how the fuck does wang yibo do SO MUCH WITH HIS FACE WITHOUT MOVING IT. HOWWW. all the micro-expressions and the little smiles at wwx really fuck me up a whole lot huh.

on the topic of wangxian, i loved them throughout the entire show but MY GOD post-wwx-resurrection wangxian is by far my favourite era for them. lwj is so tender and caring and at the same time so ruthlessly protective of wwx that he would gladly stand in front of the whole cultivation world, would stand in front of his brother and grandmaster and whoever the fuck else, and defend wwx because he didn’t do it before and wwx Died for it, and now that he has this second chance he’s sure as fuck not going to give it up so easily again. the scene where meng yao has wwx by the throat and you can tell lwj is willing to do anything, because WWX IS WORTH IT. FUCKKKKK. lwj always being there to step between wwx and harm, always there to protect him and show him the love HE DESERVES. HHHHHHH. ALSO I CANNOT BELIEVE HE WAS PUNISHED FOR HIS INVOLVEMENT WITH WWX, THAT HIS BACK IS NOW SCARRED FOR HIS DEVOTION, BUT THE SECOND WWX COMES BACK IT DOESN’T MATTER BECAUSE WWX IS HERE AND HE LOVES HIM AND IT DOESN’T MATTER THAT HE WAS PUNISHED BECAUSE HE’S NOT DOING IT WRONG FOR A SECOND TIME!!!!!!!

i don’t have any coherent thoughts about wen qing or wen ning or yanli or jiang chen (as if Any of this is coherent) but i just ..... they’re all so unique and have their own strengths and flaws and mostly would do anything to protect wwx. still cannot believe wen qing and wen ning, when the whole cultivation world wants wwx dead, literally (magically) tied him down and sacrificed themselves for him. still cannot believe the way jiang chen looks at his brother with such openhearted tenderness when he thinks no one else is looking. still cannot believe ANy of this!!!! FUCK!!

also another group of characters that i honestly did not think i would be this attached to was the juniors. THE JUNIORS. GOD I WOULD DIE FOR THAT SMALL GAGGLE OF TEENAGERS. after the post-wwx-resurrection time jump and now having all the context for jin ling and yuan i just combusted!!! seeing wwx in coffin tower (??) surrounded by a small horde of teenagers and suddenly needing to protect them??? the lan teenagers defending wwx even once they know who he is. jin ling Stabbing WWX but then forgiving him and bonding. yuan. Yuan. YUAN. HHHHH. i Knew who he was but the slow reveal over time, the hints, it killed me, but the bit that REally got me was the scene on the docks with wen ning and yuan. ning realising it’s his yuan, questioning him about it, the growing happiness and on the verge of tears and ning saying he looks like his cousin I MCFUCKING COMBUSTED!! I’M SO GLAD NING AND YUAN ARE FRIENDS AND LOOKING OUT FOR EACH OTHER ALL THESE YEARS LATER. but you know the bit that really killed me?? you all know it was the scene at the end when wwx realises it’s yuan. his yuan. the yuan he carried around and planted as a turnip and took shopping with lwj. the yuan he thought had been executed sixteen years ago for his surname. i really did break. not to mention the way lwj was Looking At Him Like JEsus Christ pleaseeeeeee.

honestly though, cannot honestly believe lwj raced back to the burial mounds, alone and scared, and found a feverish yuan huddled in the corner, and didn’t hesitate to gather him in his arms and take him back to cloud recesses and not only nurse him back to health but Raise Him!! teach him everything he knows!! LWJ SEEING YUAN WHO HAD MEANT SO MUCH TO WWX AND TAKING THE TIME AND EFFORT TO CARE FOR YUAN BECAUSE HE MEANT SO MUCH TO WWX SO BE EXTENSION HE MEANT SO MUCH TO LWJ!! I JUST!!! SOMEONE HELP!!!

also i know they couldn’t do anything too explicit because of chinese sensors but my god i’m flawed that So MUch Made It PAst The Sensors. like yeah it would’ve been nice if lwj and wwx kissed or said they loved each other or something, but there was so much emotional intimacy and protectiveness and banter that i almost Prefered it to if there’d been explicit sex or anything. it made it feel more real, it made me HURT, and i didn’t feel like i was missing tooo much in terms of their romance. THEY LITERALLY CALL EACH OTHER SOULMATES??? I’M

ok i think that’s all, there’s probably fifty billion other things i’m forgetting but i just. fuck. FUCK. thanks for this wonderful show i adored it. what am i gonna do with myself now. [throws myself at ao3]

#txt #sophie watches the untamed #this is one big incoherent [WAILS]

[lenafromthenordiccoven]

guess, I’m a dimple now xD

#sophie rambles #xnine #dimples #and it all started with a binge watch of the untamed last week cause it's on netflix now #the untamed

[hollandsmushroom]

You’re trying to help get your grades up so you ask Prof! Tom for some extra help but he keeps getting distracted and you’re like “what’s on your mind?” And hes like “sorry.. you’re just really beautiful and I really want to kiss you, was that too much?”

<33

Kiss You || T.H.

Word Count: 1,147

Warnings: Professor student relationship(both consenting and of age)

A/N: hehe happy birthday Rose, sorry I am a lil late and sorry that I accidentally did the same thing that Cookie did!

You walked up to his desk as the rest of the of the students filtered out of the classroom, your books cradled tight to your chest as you seemed to choke on your words, it wasn't like you hadn't interact with Tom before, you had had to, but it wasn't even that, it was your previous interactions, the ones that had left you with your heart fluttering and a question rattling in your skull, 'did he actually feel the same way that you did?' that were currently causing you anxiety as you approached him. In your head you wanted him so desperately to feel the same way that you did, subconsciously wanting nothing more than to have your English Professor be so much more than that.

“Hey Dr. Holland” you voiced, your hand propping up on the desk, entering his field of vision, his eyes trailing up the limb to your undeniably nervous face, a soft smile spreading across his thin lips at the sight of you, his chest tightening like a young school boy talking to his crush, he found himself getting lost in your eyes, not having replied to you yet, a drawn out silence filling the space between the both of you until he finally caught onto his unhelpful response. Shaking his head he tried to shake the beautiful color of your eyes from the forefront of his mind, not needing to spend this time that he had with you in front of him wondering what color the shade of your irises. 

“Um, yes Y/n, how can I help you?” he snapped himself out of it, his soft untamed curls still bouncing with the vigor of his previous shake. 

“Well, I uh, I was wondering if you could help me with the essay I am writing for this class, I obviously want it to be the best it can be but I can’t seem to get all of my sources included and I just, well I just needed help and you said that we could always ask for help and that your door was always open so I thought I would ask but I totally underst-” Tom didn’t give you the chance to give him an out of helping you, he didn’t want an out, he wanted to help you in any way that he could, he also wanted to make you his but that wasn’t the current topic of discussion. 

“Yes, of course I will help, here let's head to my office”  he offered, gathering his papers and putting them in his briefcase as he stood up and moving to open the door for you, a heat rising in your cheeks as you stepping through the exit waiting for him to lock the lecture hall before he started to guide you to his faculty office. “I'm sure that your paper is amazing, you are one of my best students, Y/n” he uttered, once again pulling a door open for you as he unlocked the door to his office. His words made you feel fuzzy as you stepped into his comforting office, the room smelling strongly of him and decorated sparsely yet in a homey way, there was a framed picture of a grey dog atop of his deep toned oak desk. 

“It’s nice in here” you mumbled, not really knowing what else to say as you settled in on one of the two seats opposite his leather office chair, expecting Tom to take his place in his seat of authority across from you but he didn’t, opting to sit at your side as you pulled out your laptop. 

“I like your screen saver” he complimented, just wanting to give you even a fraction of affection even in the most binary of ways. 

“Oh thanks, um I took the photo myself” you mumbled in reply, he was bringing out a bashfulness in you, he brought out a lot in you, namely the want to cover his face in kisses and forget the business of school. 

“That is super impressive” he smiled at you, god his smile made you want to tear your hair out, it made you want to forfeit your sanity and get lost in his lips. 

“Here, this is the what I need help with” you turned your computer towards Tom, watching as he maintains his soft smile as his eyes run across the lines of words on the screen,  you were watching him, watching how his captured his lip between his teeth as he attempted to stay focused on the task at hand but it was useless, he was alone with you and all he could think of was your lips.

“I can’t do this” Tom uttered, pushing back from where he had leaned over the table, his back colliding softly with the cushion of the chair, palm rubbing against his forehead as he looked sheepishly at you.

“Oh, um, I-I am sorry, I shouldn’t have asked” you mumbled, reaching out for your laptop to press the screen shut but you didn’t get the chance, Tom catching your wrist very softly in his large hand.

“No no, it’s just that I want to kiss you so bad that I can’t pay attention, you’re just so beautiful and I can’t stop thinking about your lips, oh my god, I am sorry I have said too muc-” your eyes fluttered shut as you hinged from your hips, hand coming to cup Tom’s cheek softly in the palm of your hand as you united your lips with Tom’s, so gentle and passionate that time seemed irrelevant, his tongue licking at your bottom lip to ask for entrance into your hot mouth, entrance which you happily granted, letting him roam your tongue with his in a frenzied and unpracticed dance of lust, only pulling back when your chin hurt from rutting into his as you pressed your face into his. 

“I thought you would never ask” you whispered, not wanting to tear the fabric of your rapidly weaved amorous moment. 

“I thought you wouldn’t want me to” his hand brushing over your cheek as he stared into your eyes, now able to take the time to contemplate the possible names for the beautiful hues of your eyes. 

“You didn’t think I would want you too? Maybe you’re right, maybe I am the smart one” you chuckled as you bumped your nose against Tom’s.

“I don’t think I used those words at all actually, I think I just said you were one of my best students” he joked back, pecking hurriedly at your pursed lips. 

“But am I really just your student anymore?” you quirked an eyebrow at him, forcing a chuckle from his lips as he shook his head.

“Oh you are so much more, now” he assured happily, kissing you just as intensely, if not more so than he had moments before. 

♡Taglist♡

@iluvdeja @quaksonhehe @lovehollandy12 @thollandneedy @prancerrparkerr @parkerpeter24 @hollandsour @evermoreholland @spidey-sophie @harmqnia @thehumanistsdiary @samaraaaaa @itscaminow @alinastarkrovs @marvelsbitch8 @celestialholland @kasidy409 @parkerdarling @capital-koreasofia @marvelhasmyheart235 @hackerholland @tom-softie @hollandsjen @tomhollandsbitch8 @bi-lmg07 @peterbarkerlmao @reawritesthings @tomsholland2412 @lowkey-holland @cocoamoonmalfoy @tomhollandlol

#my petal <3 #petal my beloved #tom holland imagine #tom holland fluff #tom holland one shot #tom holland au #tom holland x reader #prof!tom holland #professor!tom holland #i wanna suck prof tom off #prof!tom x reader #prof tom #prof!tom blurb

[theunmappedstar]

thoughts on fitz vacker?

i think fitz is actually a complex character. this might be me, but i’ve never seen a character in the position he’s in be given a struggle with controlling his anger and then be told, “actually, you need to work on this”. 

most of the time, male characters in this position in books are portrayed as “sexy” and “alluring” because of their anger, whereas women in those positions are portrayed as either cute and helpless by the man (which puts the idea in the reader’s head that she isn’t to be taken seriously when she’s upset) or that she’s unladylike and needs to control her temper (placing her underneath the man’s heel so that she shuts up and hides her emotions).

i think it’s good that fitz is shown with this flaw for multiple reasons. as i’m saying above, it’s good because it makes him a well-rounded character and not just the “perfect boy”. and it’s also good because it builds a facet of sophie’s character (in moderation) and doesn’t give in to the the stereotype of “this behaviour in men is okay and attractive”. 

now, i’m not saying people don’t have the right to be angry - in fact, i agree with fitz’s anger (but we’ll get to that later). however, i love the fact that his anger is not necessarily condoned. while it’s justified and characters/readers can empathize, it’s not condonable. i believe there’s a difference: we can understand that fitz uses this as a protection for himself because of the ways he’s been raised, but we also accept that it’s not healthy and fitz will need to grow and learn to cope in another way. 

and sophie is learning to understand this, too. at first sophie tries to ignore it. she very much seems to believe it will either a) go away if she ignores it or b) she can learn to cope with it in her own way, in sense. however, we see her drop this in Legacy. there is a moment between the two where fitz finally speaks his mind (whoo communication!) and sophie finally accepts, “this isn’t right, this isn’t for me”. sophie throughout this relationship actually grows one of her skills that are important for future connections - communication and the act of putting her foot down.

sophie seems very much like the character to get swept aside in her romance, as we see in the first few books. she’s taken by fitz. she loves just about everything he does and she almost refuses to see a flaw. but, as the books go on, sophie begins to note that fitz isn’t this golden boy. he’s a normal boy - and yes, that’s okay.

fitz and sophie’s relationship wasn’t just for the glamour: it allowed for more development surrounding the two characters and their mindsets. because not only does sophie learn to be assertive and speak up when something bothers her, but fitz is beginning to learn that his way of coping may be effective to keep him safe from the guilt, but in the process it endangers others. specifically those he loves.

fitz is a family-centered person who cares deeply for his friends. we see this in the ways he protects and constantly attempts to serve them. i don’t believe his anger exists with malicious intent: i believe he hasn’t understood until now - until he saw that flash in sophie’s eyes - that it’s destructive. he is destructive and his temper is becoming untamable. 

 fitz acts in this way during stressful periods in his life because he, as an elf and a prominent one at that, has not been taught the correct way to react under high-intensity situations. especially not as a child watching his world burn. he is putting himself at risk of death for the organization that is technically against the government fitz was essentially set to idolize since birth. everything he was taught about his world is being challenged.

upon bringing sophie to the lost cities in book one, fitz was excited. he thought it was amazing to get to bring her into a world that he saw as fancy and glittering and perfect, away from the dirty and rampant world that he had been told sophie lived in. and every day, every week, every month, and every year fitz spends with her, his image of this world and its people is flaking away. it’s being torn from him. fitz is finally being forced to confront and see the fact that it is not perfect - it’s far from it. everything he was told to believe was wrong.

and yes, he doesn’t know how to react. so he’s angry. he’s angry at the lies he was fed and he’s angry that it can’t be the truth and he’s angry that he led sophie into the fire and he’s angry that he’s in constant danger when he was promised peace.

....anyway, i should probably stop because i’m just rambling and there’s no exact way i am taking this, so! i hope some of this makes sense :)

IN SHORT: i love him.

bored? send me a “thoughts on” ask!

#anonymous #asks #ask me anything #theunmappedstar asks #kotlc #fitz vacker #keeper of the lost cities #sophie foster #sophitz

[bookwyrminspiration]

Shattered Upside Down

A kotlc wings au: masterpost here

chapter summary: The consequences of Sophie’s decision are starting to catch up to her, but she doesn’t know how to handle them.

Chapter 4: The Broken

Word Count: 4.7k

warnings: crying, numbness, avoiding problems, emotional breakdown (that’s the crying part), swearing, let me know if I need to add anything else

taglist: listed at the end, let me know if you want to be added or removed!

everyone ready? here we go!

ao3 link here or read beneath the cut! 

Sophie held onto the imparter until the buzzing stopped, having gone to whatever the elven version of voicemail was.

It started ringing again.

And another, behind her.

She turned painfully slow, dread curdling her skin, watching as Fitz pulled out his own imparter, staring down with that eerie gaze as it buzzed in his hand.

Then Biana.

Then Dex.

Then Wylie.

None of them answered.

The imparter in her hand chimed once, then again. They’d stopped trying to hail her--now they were sending messages. She couldn’t concentrate on the words flooding the screen, her fingers trembling too severely to hold it steady.

Before she could think it through, she opened the imparter, purposefully not reading the dozens of messages pouring in--from more than just her parents. She typed out a quick message, sent it off, and turned off the notifications, shoving it back into her bag.

The words burned the back of her throat, the ones she’d never get to say aloud, had left sealed behind with that cover when she made the choice--she made this choice--to leave.

She didn’t see what the others did as she continued moving forward, the grasses shifting from decrepit and decaying to unkempt but thriving, the vines becoming more lush, thicker and snaking and warm and untended to.

But she didn’t hear anyone pick up a call. She kept moving.

The area was...peaceful, if a bit wild. The marks left behind were clear--this area had been cared for, once upon a time. Now moss overgrew the trees, the rocks shaped as though meant to be sat upon, woven baskets left discarded on the grown, now-rotten fruits spilling from each.

“Over here,” Biana called, blinking into sight in the distance. Sophie hadn’t realized she’d disappeared.

Biana stood at the base of one of the thickest trees, towering, curling roots tearing into the soil below, sturdy enough that she stepped atop one like a stair. Biana pointed upwards, to what she’d called them to.  

Their panting wasn’t the only sound amongst the trees, the faint chimes of soft bells pealing from above, so quiet she’d almost thought the trees themselves were singing. The sound sucked the air from her lungs, draining her dry as she ran her fingers through the knots of her hair, peeling it from her sweat-soaked neck, twisting it through her hands. Resisting the urge to tear it out.

Once upon a time someone had sung such similar songs to her as they braided her worries away.

Once upon a time she’d sat with them, and cooked with them.

Once upon a time they’d died.

She dropped her hand to her side. Now was not the time.

“Okay...how do we get up there?” Wylie stood at the base of the tree near Biana, hand resting at his chin as he frowned upwards.

Just barely visible through the thick canopy of leaves and vines a rustic, curved base was visible, wrapping and coiling itself around the thick trunk, as if it’d always been there. Greenery covered it, untamed and overgrown, spreading from somewhere unseen up above.

The gnomes abandoned tree-houses.

“We climb.”

Sophie panted softly in the light of the rising sun, palms scraped and aching. It had been higher than she’d thought, no easy way up aside from the branches gracing the trunks--the gnomes had planned it that way. Hadn’t anticipated anything would be able to find a path.

Not that it mattered now.

They stood on a wooden porch, able to clearly see the rest of the homes from here--it was an entire community. She’d known, logically, the scope of the gnomes who’d gone missing. Who’d left. But standing here--there were dozens of elaborate, woven residences clinging sturdy to the forms of these trees, wrapping around them with the trunk jutting through the center.

The chiming of those faint bells reverberated throughout the area, the budding rays of sun peeking through the foliage, reflecting off small gems and pieces of glass scattered throughout the builds.

“Holy shit,” she breathed, spinning slowly, taking it all in.

Linh curled her fingers, and the sound of bubbling water rose from various places throughout the trees, delicate dripping irrigation systems diverting the dew and catching the light. Cascades of warm flowered vines fell from the roofs, curling around the braided edges of the railings on each porch. There was a gap, a gate in each, where a thin path--wood suspended on loose vine--stretched out to the next tree, the next habitat over, some meeting and crossing, each dripping with moss and foliage and morning dew--and gouge marks.

Her stomach turned ice as she tentatively stepped out onto one of the bridges, gingerly fingering the marks. This place was beautiful, yes.

But it was abandoned. Empty.

The people who had woven these bridges, molded themselves into the trees--none of them remained.

The wings at her back shivered, twitching with her despair, and the urge to rend them from her skin nearly consumed her. Monsters had ransacked this place, torn the people from their homes and broken their paradise.

Nothing from below, no.

They’d been attacked by monsters with wings.

“What now, Sophie?” Keefe was looking at her so softly, head cocked to the side, it made her want to rip it from his face. She shook herself internally, dousing the thought with alarm. No. She didn’t want to hurt him. She’d done all this...come all the way out here, just to keep herself from hurting people.

She wouldn’t start now.

She would fight this, whatever was happening to her, whatever was changing within her, as long as she fucking could and she would not let it control her. She’d needed to get out of the underground, couldn’t trust herself to be near them anymore--but neither could they.

“Now…” she paused for a moment, unsure what to do. So many things had gone so wrong so quickly, the ground ripped from beneath her feet. What would they do? “Now, we hurt them back.”

Her resolve was steel against the chill morning air, cutting through the loathing with absolute certainty. At least for now.

Maybe she couldn’t trust herself to be a safe person anymore, but neither could any of them. The wings had come first--and Tam’s eyes had come next. Who knew when--if--it would stop. Where. Maybe it wouldn’t.

They could all be on a collision course, already doomed and just waiting to reach the end of the road. But until then. She was going to do everything she could to hurt back the people who’d taken the safety, the individuality from her friends. From her.

The others felt her thoughts, her determination through their linked minds, and she watched as each of their faces hardened alongside her own.

They couldn’t trust themselves either.

Didn’t matter whether or not they had a dangerous ability, they’d still become an unknown to the people they loved. Still hated not knowing when and if and what would happen and where and if it would stop and whether or not they could trust their own minds.

None of them could, but they were all in it together.

It was a risk. Any of them could lose themselves, turn on each other they way they were afraid they would underground.

But it was a shared fear, a shared future, a shared determination.

But it was all of them, all of them versus themselves.

And that was a risk, a chance, they’d take any fucking day. 

The window in Sophie’s space was broken.

It would’ve been beautiful, once upon a time. Gnomish things often were. Curling, intertwining branches curved around each other, climbing up the wall in a haphazard arc, overgrown with flora. The view beyond was somehow better, the tops of the trees bursting with color, dripping dew set ablaze by the early morning sun.

Now glass littered the floor, dusting the panels, scattering themselves across the floor, pieces of different colors of someone else’s life. Faint tendrils of vine clung to the few cracked panes remaining in the frame, as if desperately holding itself together.

She tucked her knees in closer to her chest.

The light flowed through that shattered window, catching on the pieces on the ground, reflecting back up on her face as she sat there atop someone else’s bed, mussed and pressed against the wall, those wings spread behind her as she sat staring through that shattered hole.

She should be sleeping.

The others were.

She wasn’t.

She couldn’t. Not when the last time she’d done so she’d woken to be someone--something--else. Not when her imparter lay beneath her legs, ablaze with messages she may never read.

Those wings shifted behind her and she grimaced, gaze fixed straight ahead.

She hugged her knees closer.

Sophie Foster was

so

tired.

The wings twitched again, and her breath caught. The trees outside that shattered window grew slightly blurry, and she blinked hard. It wouldn’t go away.

Tear after tear tracked its way through the scrapes and dirt on her face, drifting down her cheeks and dripping their way across the sensitive skin of her neck.

Her nails dug into her skin, trying trying trying to hold those pieces of herself together, hold herself together like that broken window. Those pieces that had been shattered and scattered within moments, flipped around and tossed with abandon.

She couldn’t find that Sophie who’d been so angry, so determined, bursting with fight. Her friends had made a commitment to her and themselves, to get back at the people who’d done...this...to them.

They’d each claimed a home, an old gnomish space.

And when Sophie had walked into hers, chosen it for the wreath of moonflower vines framing the door, the moment her friends’ eyes left her, every bone in her body had turned to stone and her muscles to feathers.

She’d sat before that broken window and she hadn’t moved since.

She couldn’t.

Every time she moved, so did…they.

Just thinking about it sent a jolt through her spine that had them twitching. She hadn’t seen them, hadn’t looked.

She’d seen the stumps in the mirror, had caught glimpses of color and shape in her friends’ minds when she’d crashed into that tree, when she’d jumped from that creature.

Not enough to see them.

There was a part of her, a foolish, hopeless part of her, that thought if she ignored it long enough, it would go away.

If she didn’t look, they weren’t there.

If she didn’t look, they weren’t real.

Seeing them made them real.

She didn’t want them to be real.

She

was

so

tired.

Sophie’s gaze drifted outside the window, wandering between the different colored leaves and the draping vines and the flowers dangling from the--her--broken window.

Then it caught.

Alongside the bottom of the twisted branches was enough glass left for a splintered reflection to stare back, hollow tear-stained eyes, knotted hair stuck to her skin, curled up like she could disappear if she held herself close enough.

Wings.

They were hard to see in the glass, but they spread behind her, as if reminding her they were there. Her pulse roared in her ear, body overcome with that numbing tingle of pure panic.

Sophie inhaled. And slowly turned to look at them.

They were...real.

Attached at her shoulder blades, they spread from her back, the entirety of them on display. She couldn’t...tell what they were. Her friends, they each had something identifiable. An animal, a creature of some kind. Something distinct.

These...weren’t.

But she could identify the base.

Bumblebee.

That was the shape. The delicate, thin membranes threaded through with veins, and as they beat they made the same buzz. That’s what she’d been hearing earlier, she realized. That hum as she walked through the forest--it had been the wings.

But the color was off. Bees' wings were colorless, maybe a gradient of beige near the body. These were alive with splotches of color, translucent blues fading into purples blending into greys, speckled throughout with blinding white.

Like the endless expanse of the night sky. The hollow echo of the void.

Her eyesight blurred again, and she blinked hard as she followed the veins from the edge of the wing, all the way to where it met with her back. It took her a few moments to understand what she was seeing.

Another way she’d been set apart.

There were...feathers. Small, colored feathers textured through with speckles and swirling white patterns at the very base--only at the base. As if those wings had been unable to decide what they wanted to be, and had decided to be everything.

Sophie reached out, tentatively tracing a finger along the membrane.

She jolted, back arching reflexively, as if someone had tickled the bottoms of her feet.

She pressed out an exhale.

So they were sensitive.

Very

sensitive.  

Sophie turned back away, looking out through the window once more, suddenly so so...numb. Her eyelids became lead, trying to succumb to gravity.

No.

Please.

Jerkily, exhaustion-worn, she reached for her imparter, still pressed between her legs. Anything. She’d do anything to keep from falling asleep again.

She thumbed open the messages, the unanswered chats between her and her terrified, desperate, confused parents. She couldn’t read them. The adrenaline trying to sear its path through her veins could’ve been nothing for all she felt.

She knew it was there. But it was doing nothing.

Sophie’s shoulders dropped, imparter slipping from her grasp as the electrical signals in her body stopped working. Her fingertip caught the edge of the screen, sending the conversation scrolling back back back.

Until she could see that one, final message she’d sent her parents.

I’m sorry. I left of my own will. I didn’t want to hurt you. Don’t look for me. I’m sorry. I love you. I always will. I’m so sorry.

And then Sophie Foster collapsed.

She could see herself. She was supposed to, at least. She wasn’t actually there.

There was no her to see.

 The mirrors only reflected themselves back on each other again and again, becoming a darkening, sickening shade of green with each faux version of not-her.

 The mirrors were empty.

 Where was she?

 Why couldn’t she see?

She was here, wasn’t she?

Why couldn’t she see herself?

 The mirrors weren’t supposed to be empty.

 Where had she gone?

Cinnamon and wind pressed against Sophie’s face, and her eyes snapped open, instantly on edge. She jerked up, those wings buzzing with alarm. Her fingers splayed behind in the torn sheets of that bed as all her senses overloaded her mind with too much information all at once.

The sun was still out but it was setting the trees were wet and the fibers of this blanket were individually woven together and the air was rusting the flower petals on the door and--

“Woah, woah, woah. Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you like that.” Fitz was holding his hands out placatingly, like she were some startled animal. Which...she supposed she was.

Sophie took a moment to respond, breathing slowly until all that sensory information became no more than background noise.

“Are you...alright,” he asked, lowering himself onto the bed, sitting diagonal so those wings didn’t get in the way. Those wings. She’d hadn’t looked at them closely yet. Had been too frenzied on adrenaline.

She changed the topic. “Do you know what...kind...those are,” she asked, gesturing towards the wings with her chin.

He grimaced, gazing over his shoulder. “I tried not to think about it, if I’m being honest.”

“But…” Sophie prodded, encouraging him gently with a nod of her head. Her face softened as she scanned him, the rumpled clothes--he’d changed into a new outfit--the unkempt hair, as if he’d pushed it back and forth, torn his fingers through it; the circles and lines beneath his eyes, framing his face like bruises; the scratches lining his knuckles, the way he pulled and fidgeted with his hands as he looked back at her--behind her.

The wings tucked in, resting against her back as she gently nudged him with her arm.

“Well...obviously, I’m assuming a bird of some kind.” He exhaled lightly with faint amusement, rolling his eyes. “You know. Because of the feathers.”  

“Can I...may I see?” Her voice was too quiet, should’ve been too quiet. But they both heard her all too clearly. She winced, starting to pull back, lean away. She’d so clearly hidden the ones attached to her, now she was asking him to show off the pair on his back.

His eyes widened slightly as she retreated, and the wings spread slightly. He shifted on the bed, and the full length extended, wrapping up and descending around her, nearly enveloping her.

She couldn't keep the silent gasp from slipping through her lips, mouth falling opening as she saw the full pattern of those wings. Rich brown feathers melded into warm, golden honey, spattered throughout with occasional pops of cream. The feathers were smaller closer to his back, growing steadily longer and sleeker as they reached the outer edges of the wings, nearly the length of her forearm.

“I don’t know what kind of bird they could be,” he admitted, blush staining his cheeks. “There aren’t many with natural, earthy coloring in the Lost Cities.” His voice broke at the end, and he cleared his throat to cover it. The Lost Cities. They truly were lost now, weren’t they. A faux paradise broken into pieces, nothing more than memory. As ruined and haphazard as she was.

Sophie shook herself. Not now. Fitz needed her. She needed him. She cocked her head, looking at the pattern. “They remind me off…” she trailed off, sending her mind back back back. Something was pulling at her, a memory; something from her human life. There. A day at the San Diego zoo, her human mother holding her hand as they looked through the habitats.

“A golden eagle,” she whispered.

Fitz said nothing as she reached out, almost in a daze, running her finger along the edge of those feathers. He didn’t react, so…

“These aren’t sensitive, are they?” It was more statement than question, but he nodded anyway.

“Why? Are yours?”

Something clanged through her at that, jolting through her muscles and sending her thoughts convulsing into the shadows. Hers. She pushed it aside.

“We’re talking about you right now,” she teased, a little too out of breath to be okay. Her fingers fisted in the ragged bed sheets, resisting the urge to pull at her skin, her scalp, anywhere she could get her hands on.

He frowned at her, scrunching his nose a bit. “This isn’t just a me thing, Sophie.” His voice was too gentle, too caring, too too too aware of everything going on inside her and reading her like a book of melodies he could leaf through at his whimsy. “I haven’t had a chance to talk to you after everything. But I know you’re trying to hide it. The leader we--all of us, Sophie--want you to be isn’t a person who will hide themselves from us. I know it wasn’t the same for you, the mission, waking up, but that doesn’t mean we’re that different.”

He glanced over her shoulder at both those pairs of wings, bumblebee and golden eagle. “Please don’t push us away. You don’t have to talk to me,” he continued, looking down at her clenched fingers, gently uncurling them and holding her hand in both his own. “But please talk to one of us.”

Fuck.

They sat there for a few moments, just breathing next to each other in heavy silence as Fitz brushed his thumb rhythmically over the back of her hand, ready to wait. To wait as long as it took her to say whatever was boiling brewing curling steaming screaming inside her.

It broke her.

Her fingers tightened in his as her whole body wracked with sobs, shuddering and collapsing in on itself. Her free hand slapped to her mouth, trying to push the noises back into her lungs, the room splotchy and blurred as those tears she’d tried so hard to ignore and to keep to herself and to pretend were only temporary slipped through.

She didn’t scream.

Fitz pulled her into an embrace as she shuddered, crying silently into his shoulder. Her throat was so so thick, so tense, her tongue so heavy in her mouth she couldn’t speak. Nails digging into his shoulder blade, fingertips brushing against the base of those wings, and she cried harder.

She wanted to tell him. She wanted to--. What did she want?

His arms were so warm around her, so steady as he held her, squeezing her closer and waiting waiting waiting for her.

She couldn’t find the willpower to voice it, to speak it aloud.

She didn’t need to.

She didn’t have the strength to speak, but her mind was stronger than her body.

I don’t want to become a monster.

That was what she was running from, hiding from. This possibility. The chance that the wings weren’t the end, that maybe this was where the first monsters had come from, all those months ago. And she was next. She’d have to sit inside her body and watch it rot, becoming the very thing she hated, despised, so dearly. Something with nothing inside it, something bloodthirsty who frothed at the opportunity to attack, no thought behind her actions, a danger to anyone near.

And that had driven her away from some of the most important people in her life. Looking back, it was still safest for her to be as far from her family as possible, but it still hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt.

She hadn’t been able to read the messages from her parents, whatever they’d said to her in terror, desperation, fear for her.

Maybe one day it would be fear of her.

She hated what she’d done to them, but she couldn’t fix it. Not when she was like...this. An unknown assuming the worst.

I know. Fitz inhaled shakily next to her ear, and she realized he was crying too. I know...exactly what you’re feeling. His mind was whirling beside hers, both their mental shields lowered as they sat beside one another.

His thoughts were slow but oh so tragic. Each one a nightmare, his body ruined and decaying, a monster that had once been him crawling its way into the underground, tearing the stones from the walls, gouging into the unprotected below.

Ripping his mother’s heart from her chest.

His arms clenched around her and she held him closer too.

Hey. Hey. Hey, she consoled, gently rocking the two of them back and forth. You...You’re not a monster, she finally whispered, and he sagged in her grasp, burying his face in her neck. I don’t think you could be. You’re too...good.

He laughed hollowly against her skin as she released her death grip on his shoulder blades, a hand coming up to cradle the back of his head, fingers running through his hair.

She’d tried to distract herself from the wings on her back by asking about the ones on his...but he’d also tried to distract himself from his quiet nightmares by asking about her own. What a pair they were.

What a group.

This was the two of them, but they were not solitary lights. They were fragments of stars amongst the constellations of people they had chosen to love.

Eight of them living through the exact same waking nightmare, only a few doors away.

“We’ll fix this,” she promised, voice hoarse from her tears. “I don’t know...I don’t know what fixed will be. Maybe we’ll be out here for the rest of our lives. Maybe we’ll go back to the underground eventually. Maybe...maybe we’ll even go home.” Her voice broke on the last word, but his breathing had slowed. He was listening. “But whatever it will be, we’ll find it. We’ll make it. All of us. We work best when we work together. If anyone can fix this...it’s us.”

Fitz leaned back, his palms running down her arms and coming to rest in their laps.

“Yeah,” he whispered, staring down at their interlaced fingers, eyes red and vacant. And it was so so natural to reach forward, brush his tears away with her thumbs, hold his face in her hands for a moment before picking up his own once more.

He looked up at her at that, opening his mouth as if to continue, but he paused, head cocking to the side and a slight smile spreading across his lips.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just...are you--” he cut out, looking down at his palms, laughing slightly as he angled them towards her, so she could see.

The skin of his palms was dusted in a faint layer of light powder, almost a translucent silver. He pointed to her own arms, and she followed his gesture.

“What are you--oh.” All thoughts left her mind, leaving her with just a what? Every inch of her exposed limbs was brushed with a fine layer of powder, clinging to the surface of her skin and catching the sunlight streaming in through that broken window.

Sophie scooted back on the bed, shaking out her arms, a shower of light dust raining down. She wasn’t even angry about it, there was only pure dumbfounded bafflement as she brushed the powder off again and again and again, mostly of it falling to the sheets, but enough clinging to her skin that she was sure she’d never be rid of it.

Fitz laughed louder at her perplexed expression, glancing at him as she shook out her hands again, his voice cracking slightly as he stood, bounding to the broken window and eagerly leaning out, looking around.

“What are you doing? This is a very serious situation Fitzroy,” she said, scrunching her nose at him lightheartedly. Sure, she was confused. But she could handle that if it got rid of that horrid numbness shadowing his face. Whatever it was sent a sweet scent wafting from him, and she smiled slightly herself. He was...genuinely amused. But what was he doing?

He turned towards her and grinned, pointing to one of the flowers framing the glass, a soft periwinkle encrusted with speckles of grey, drooping from the vines. “Look.” Flower between his fingers, he tapped it a few times, a shower of that fine powder falling from the center.

“...and?” She wasn’t following.

“You’re a bumblebee,” he laughed slightly. “It’s pollen.”

“Oh for fucks sake,” she sighed, pressing her hands into her cheeks, squishing her face as she turned to look at him. “Our homes being overrun by mindless bloodthirsty creatures: I can handle. Living underground for months: I can handle. Running away from our families: I can handle that. Growing fucking wings? I can handle it. But this pollen. I just don’t think I can take it. I think this, right here, this will bee my breaking point.”

Fitz full on snorted at that, her little pun, and she found herself grinning back at him.

His smile faded after a moment and he titled his head to look at her, the movement inhuman. “You can handle it, huh?”

She dropped her hands down to her lap, thinking it over. She’d been joking around, wanting to make him laugh, ease the weight off both the shoulders the way Keefe did so effortlessly, but...the words hadn’t come out of nowhere.

“Yeah,” she answered finally. “I think we can.”

Maybe not now. This would hurt, this would linger for a while yet, but she’d get there. There was a while yet to go, but it would be manageable someday.

She’d have to remind herself of that.

He nodded to himself, briefly meeting her gaze, and she was put off for a moment at the intensity of his stare. He nodded again, and something shifted in his stance. His muscles eased and a sturdy calm washed over him, like he’d seen something in her that’d given him confidence.

“I guess then we’ll--” he cut off as both their heads snapped towards the door.

The sound.

Light footsteps pounded erratically against wood, losing their balance several times as they skidded right onto that patio outside. Something pinged in the back of the mindbubble.

Something’s wrong.

They each flinched as the door burst open, Biana’s hair frazzled, eyes wide with pure panic, the scent of damp terror permeating the space. She leaned in just long enough to say two awful words.

“It’s Dex.”

Taglist: @loudnerdfest @rainbowtay-11 @cadence-talle @pyrokinetic-loser @ahecktonoffandomsinoneblog @itstiger720 @loverofallthingssmart @cowboypossume @jolieharkness @wings-of-hell-and-beyond @shellyseashell @blossomjennie @akotlcblog @imaramennoodle @booknerdddddd

#I do not feel bad at all #I have been planning this since the very very beginning #the cliffhanger I mean #one of the og parts of my outline #anyways please share your thoughts #I have many of them #I will talk about this au forever #also it just keeps getting longer #anyways #there are little details in here I'd love to talk about if you just ask #because I'm worried you won't pick them up #kotlc #kotlc fanfic #kotlc fic #kotlc wings au #shattered upside down #my writing <3 #keeper of the lost cities