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fanfic-obsessed · 3 months

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Mediation...?

This one I came up with as I walked to work, and so we will all explore it. It is a Post Empire AU. I know, I do not usually go for post-empire, but the horror and humor of this idea spoke to me.

Let’s take a look, yeah?

The AU part is that both Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker survived through the end of the Empire. So we don’t have to deal with too many changes too early, Obi Wan was severely injured and in Bacta for the entire time of the OT (or he got injured again just before the events of each movie, whichever works better).

After Vader comes back to the light, he is fitted with prosthetics that actually fit (including being the correct height). He is still required to wear a mask ,but it is more like Plo Koons than Vader (covering his mouth and nose but not his entire face). The burns he got from Mufastar meant that he had no hair, and the suit he wore for those years meant that he was unnaturally pale. As a consequence he no longer looks like Vader (not just because he lost 5 inches in height with the correct legs).

Most of the galaxy does not know that Vader and Anakin Skywalker are the same person. Anakin was also largely forgotten, and the few who did remember him (without knowing the Vader connection) would quietly muse about how much Vader seemed to hate Anakin Skywalker, the Hero without Fear (there is no doubt in my head that the person Vader hated the most was Anakin).

The Rebels do know that Anakin and Vader are the same person. Even as they are working to build the New Republic, no one is quite sure what, if anything, Anakin Skywalker should be charged with (War crimes. So many war crimes, they would need to invent new war crimes specifically for Vader-Though to be fair he is not the only living member of the Empire’s ruling body for this to be true). If he does need to be charged, and they could figure out what with, does his fall to the dark side constitute a mitigating factor (some kind of diminished capacity) or an enhancement (like a hate crime)? Where does killing the Emperor fit into any sentence he would have to serve? Is there even a way to enforce any sentence that a court could impose?

All of these questions and more would have to be answered before any trials could commence (including: how far does “following orders” mitigate actions, and how far up the chain of command can that excuse be used?). In the meanwhile Anakin hangs awkwardly around with his son when he is able.

Luke wants, deeply, to help his father become comfortable around people again. He also does not quite…understand is probably the best term…understand the depth of the horrors that Vader/Anakin created in his 20 years in the suit. In his mind he knows, and has been told, most of what Vader has done, but to a certain extent he separated Anakin and Vader in his mind so there is a bit of disconnect (Some understandable cognitive dissonance).

He is at least aware enough that he is not looking to find Anakin friends among the rebels, who would naturally think of Vader first (and thus it would be uncomfortable for all involved). He understands that asking someone like Leia to try and befriend the being that tortured her then blew up her planet is not a good idea.

But there is one person he knows thinks of Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader as two different people. Obi Wan Kenobi. Who is decidedly avoiding Anakin (in this Anakin can not blame him, the return to the light means that he does actually need to face everything he has done), but is also low key avoiding most people. Mostly Obi Wan is staying around the clones that still live (both to help those clones with their own guilt over their actions while chipped, the fact that their aging has finally been brought to human normal, and frankly because he likes them more than most people these days-I imagine at least Cody-CodyWan for the win-, Rex, Gregor, Appo, and Wolffe but there are a good crowd), and the few Force users that survived the Purge. Also spending time with Leia.

Now a few things need to be made abundantly clear at this point. Luke does not know of the horrors Anakin perpetrated, as opposed to Vader (For all that Palpatine labeled him Vader before the march on the temple, I always headcanon that his last act as purely Anakin was the slaughter of the children in the council chamber but even then he did not truly become Vader until after he finds out that Padme died), not really. Few enough who live remember the march on the temple, what it meant that the temple (the home of the Jedi) was pillaged and burned. Fewer still ever knew that it was Anakin that led the march and slaughtered the children.

Oddly enough, Anakin Skywalker is the only person in the galaxy who knows the true horrific extent of his own crimes.

So Luke, with all the best of intentions, notices that Obi Wan is avoiding Anakin, and decides he will help his father and his teacher/mentor/uncle/that weird dude that lived in the desert makeup. Luke is attributing the awkwardness to Anakin’s 20 years as Vader (which, if we are being completely honest, is the least of the issues between Anakin and Obi Wan).

Luke decides he is going to hold something like a mediation to bridge those 20 years. Anakin is, at this point, incapable of denying Luke anything and agrees (in spite of the fact that even he can tell this will go poorly). Obi Wan does not actually agree as Luke does not tell him what they are meeting for, but once he arrives is semi blackmailed by Luke (leveraging the whole ‘you told me my father was dead thing/you lied to me my whole life’) which really only works because Obi Wan is also fairly vulnerable to young Skywalker children who remind him of the people who Obi Wan has lost (Satine would have done something similar, Obi Wan think nostalgically). Thinking that an audience would help create a more neutral location, Luke makes sure that Obi Wan is accompanied by a few of the clones (Appo in particular), and that Leia, Han, and Mon Mothma (as one of the few people who remember Padme and Anakin) are in the room. There are others.

Now Luke has all the best intentions with this, but he is, at best, missing some very critical information. At worst he is taking after one of his father’s worst traits (so sure he can fix a relationship that is not his, and is probably better left broken).

Both Anakin and Obi Wan silently agree to humor the sunshine boy. At first they try to keep it to lighter disagreements and misunderstandings (who saved who and who made the situation worse kind of thing). Anakin brings up at one point being unhappy that Obi Wan hid his children from him for almost 20 years, Obi Wan corrects that he hid them for almost 10 years from Vader, since he believed Anakin actually dead for the first 10, during which Vader maintained that Anakin was dead. Anakin withdraws his objection.

Then Anakin brings up the limb removal on Mustafar (which causes most of the room to go still, no one but the clones-whom Obi Wan had told- knew about the Mustafar fight). Obi Wan shoots back with an slightly irate rejoinder that it was a really measured response considering that Anakin had just: led a group of brainwashed soldiers into their home and slaughtered as many men, women, and children that he could; choked his very pregnant wife; ignored repeated attempts Obi Wan made to end the fight without further violence.

It was at this point that Appo started to have a panic attack (being one of the few surviving Clones who was actually there in the temple). Obi Wan looked over at Luke, apologized and said this was not a good idea. Then left with the clones, all trying to calm Appo back down.

The entire room is just…dead silence. Like Luke everyone, barring Anakin who did know this was going to go so badly, had sort of forgotten that Obi Wan was more than the weird desert guy who hung around with the clones, and sometimes Leia. Luke is sitting there, really pale (He did have good intentions).

Like the people who realized the Jedi suffered a genocide when the Empire came into power had mostly died, the few that had survived all these years had buried that knowledge under the subsequent horrors of the Empire (They also largely forgot, or didn’t understand the horror of the chips both in the context of Order 66 and following orders in the Empire). It was not done out of maliciousness, or even ignorance, because the Jedi and the Clones (in that they lost everything of themselves and their culture in a moment) may have been the first genocide of the Empire but it was not the last.

I’m not sure where it would go from there, other than Anakin is charged with so many war crimes and accepts whatever punishment is determined.

#obi wan kenobi #star wars au #anakin skywalker #codywan #luke skywalker #leia organa #star wars #star wars original trilogy

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sapphia · 1 year

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we need to talk about grian. “alliances in the life series never last” no, your alliances in the life series never last because you don’t want them to. i’m so tired of this bitch making her own destiny and then pulling a surprised pikachu face when the natural consequences of her actions eventuate. grian really spent this season rushing jimmy and joel headlong to their deaths AND helping the only other person likely to beat them there survive, and then he’s surprised when he’s left without a team? the team he tried to kick jimmy out a few episodes ago for literally no reason? he couldn’t sabotage it easily so he just went the old fashioned way of general recklessness.

grian spent his entire first season chained to scar, complaining the whole time of course, humming and haa-ing about what his alliance would be after he died and went yellow. they were literally several episodes in with an entire life built together and he was like “remember this is just until i’m yellow. then i’m off to find a new alliance lol”. as they settle into their long-term stronghold in their sand-monopoly, totally threatening to leave scar alone and in a situation where he’d have to defend the entire desert on his red life. then when grian didn’t go to yellow until really late in the game and their closest allies had died so he couldn’t switch teams anyway, he ends up sticking with scar and actually winning together with him (though he takes the solo win and kills scar in pvp).

then in double life he like… decides he wants to be soulmates with bigb for some reason even though soulmates are chosen at random? like he literally sees bigb running around the mountainside while looking for his soulmate and is like “i wish he was my soulmate😍” and then decides he will be and is disappointed that they aren’t. and then is even more disappointed when he finds out his soulmate is scar, even though they’re good friends and work well together and literally won last time they played together and scar has improved massively at the game since then. (not that grian noticed that at all for the entire season they were paired together. literally he said in limited life “now that i’m not partnered with scar he’s actually dangerous.” BABE. YOU WON TOGETHER IN THE FIRST SEASON. LAST SEASON HE WATERBUCKET-CLUTCHED 100 BLOCKS DOWN FROM RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. HE’S BEEN DANGEROUS TO PEOPLE THIS ENTIRE TIME. YOU’VE JUST BEEN ON HIS SIDE SO HE’S NEVER BEEN THAT DANGEROUS TO YOU).

so yeah then he spends the whole series being “secret soulmates” with bigb for no reason other than he’s annoyed he’s paired with scar/not paired with bigb. in the game with randomly-generated partners. his game with randomly-generated partners.

and even now he had an alliance with scar’s team lined up perfectly. his closest allies on the server and his teammates all dying. note that they weren’t actually dead yet. grian had already given up on his team while they were still alive and kicking. but anyway, he decides he needs a new team and he has a set of very close allies right there. but no, he literally would rather go make an alliance with the singular mortal enemy of his just-dead teammate rather than put himself on the same team as scar again. because alliances and friendships mean nothing here, right? etho and bdubz are out there fighting to roleplay together season after season, scott is giving up lives to someone he partnered with back in season 1 and he and cleo have basically decided they vibe so well together they’ll be bffs through all of time, and ties are creating the same approximate polycule they form in literally every season. but heaven forbid grian has to acknowledge he and scar have spent more time together than apart in this series.

grian thinks alliances break up quickly because he has wildly unstable relationships with literally everyone on the server. he’s the undiagnosed nd girl being like “man, people suck :(”. no girl, you suck at people. you have a condition. get help.

#grian #limited life #limited life smp #third life smp #life series smp #double life #life series #rambling #lol #desert duo #bad boys limited life

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levmada · 10 months

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You said you could write an essay on S3 Eruri poster, DO IT 👁️ 👁️

THANK YOU FOR ENABLING ME😩BTW TELL ME HOW I WROTE A 7 PAGE ESSAY ABOUT ERURI IN LIKE 2 HOURS BUT MY ACADEMIC LIFE IS SUFFERING😭 | 2.2k

alright. (here it is in the best quality i could find:)

this image was a promo for season 3. i believe it refers to both part 1 and part 2, even though Erwin’s major character arc is finished in part 2.

first of all, before dissecting the image i'm going to lay out all the puzzle pieces needed for us to do that. let’s focus on Erwin’s father first.

Erwin’s father’s suspicious death is what drove him since he was a child. he resolves to find out the truth about his death, and that expands to proving his father right about his theories concerning the world that they live in—by any means necessary. his curiosity and sense of justice is a major motivator for him, but arguably the biggest is Erwin's sense of guilt, that he got his father killed for sharing his theories with his classmates.

Erwin becomes a soldier (assumably, as soon as possible at age 12). and at first, he is still open about his curiosity, his hopes and his dreams. in one scene as a cadet he’s insisting to Nile that there’s more to their world than what’s presented to them all, especially concerning the mystery of the Titans, but Nile brushes him off. furthermore, during Erwin’s monologue, we learn that everyone dismissed him as a naive boy with an overactive imagination, as well as a death wish for his intentions to join the Scouts.

[youtube link of Erwin's backstory - a couple second-long clip]

because of that, Erwin became much more closed off. he learned that if no one would take him the slightest bit seriously or even give him the time of day, he would have to present himself as someone powerful and worth listening to. he can’t find the truth solely on his own.

so, Erwin manipulates and schemes to further his goals. only in the no regrets side story do we see that for ourselves before he became commander. and hell, he was practically commander already in every way except in name. he came up with an actual planned formation that decreased soldiers’ deaths; he made the battle plans; he was given full authority over Levi and his friends (notable since they were known as a couple of thugs from the underground at the time) with Shadis having next to no part in such a thing. he blackmailed the powerful politician that wanted to disband the survey corps, he was smart enough to figure out Levi, Isabel, and Furlan’s plans and trick them too. hell, when Levi had the sword to his throat to kill him anyway, Erwin physically gripped the sword and held him back, and convinced Levi to join their cause instead. Levi back then, whose actions always centered around his friends’ survival, who had a clear ego himself.

Erwin must’ve gleaned something from his conversation with levi in the castle, after his first Titan kill. that Levi was fascinated at the idea that he could protect others for a cause.

so in short, Erwin is a genius. he has the intelligence, strength, and charisma - and if not, he gains it - to ascend the ranks as well as keep himself alive.

because of Erwin’s actions and how he reacts to the consequences, it’s easy to conclude that he’s a shameless ego-maniac that believes, and will, do whatever he wants with no regard to anyone else.

that’s not it.

Erwin is universally loved by the entire survey corps in the present. for example in season 2 after Eren is kidnapped, and many are injured after the Colossal and Armored Titans appeared again. everyone appears comforted and in higher spirits when Erwin and his backup appears to assess the situation.

and it’s true. without Erwin’s leadership, the morale and the Survey Corps’ successes aren’t nearly what they are.

but in his conversation with Levi in season 3 part 1, Erwin sees himself as replaceable without a doubt. and that's only the tip of the iceberg.

earlier in that season when Erwin is talking to Zachery, Erwin expresses that he doesn’t know if the coup is right, or whether it’ll just lead to suffering. he has plenty of doubts. he’s actuely aware that his actions are drastic, he holds lives in his hands that he has willingly let slip through his fingers for the sake of the truth.

hell, he isn’t bothered when he wakes up with his arm missing. he will pay the rest of the price when he ‘ends up in hell’. it’s spoken like a joke, too, and after that, Levi helps to ease the tension. in his own way, he tries to make Erwin feel better by teasing him.

later in that scene, when Hange gravely shares their theory that the titans are actually human beings, Levi seems devastated and the mood is clearly solemn, but Erwin smiles. because this was proof that his father’s theories held water, that they’re one step closer to learning the origins of the Titans and the truth of their world.

while a village of people are either titanized or dead. yes, Erwin was extremely selfish in that moment. he is selfish, but he’s not heartless.

if you still have any doubts at all about that, just go and watch the entire crate scene(link). i won’t add screenshots because there’s simply too much to put lol.

Erwin’s guilt is endless. he confesses to Levi that he felt suicidal many times, but his motivation to keep going was for his father, and the truth. it’s a complex in his head that he dissects then and there: that all he’s done, he’s done for the sake of humanity, justice, of bringing freedom to everyone in a world safe from the titans.

but his intentions are also horribly selfish. at his core, he’s still a hapless child who just wants to see what’s in the basement. the truth.

in that monologue, Erwin’s self hatred is completely exposed. he feels that he tricked everyone, including Levi, into ignorantly joining his selfish ploy. that he’s irredeemable, and he deserves a fate even worse than death.

back in the hospital room, it’s canon and has been expanded upon that in that moment when Erwin smiled at the news that Levi realized that Erwin’s true intentions are selfish. but what did he do? he did what he’s always done ever since that fateful day in the storm. Levi learned that there’s a darkness within Erwin, but he still cares for him. even without an explanation, he feels that way. regardless of whether you see their relationship as romantic or not, Levi loved him and that’s undeniable.

back to the crate scene, after Erwin shared all of that with the extra visual of Erwin standing upon a mountain of corpses so high that the ground wasn’t visible underneath, Levi kneels and reassures him. “You have fought well. It's only thanks to you that we've come this far.” and he promises to kill the Beast Titan (furthermore, Levi’s devotion is clear in his obvious passion in season 4 to do just that).

but Erwin’s love for Levi is the same. Levi is also in the image beside Erwin’s father.

back in No Regrets, Erwin is outright smitten with Levi from the beginning when he first saw him using the ODM gear in the Underground. (i'm out of images i can add.. curse you tumblr.)

he needs him to join his cause. and he goes to great lengths to do just that.

Erwin knows that Levi is invaluable. for example in season 1 after Levi announces that he’s going back to his squad, Erwin stops him and makes him refuel his equipment when it was pointless. the truth is that after seeing what the Female Titan was capable of, the last thing Erwin was about to do was risk Levi’s life. ERWIN, the man who’s known for taking risks and making deadly gambles, won’t risk Levi’s life.

in season 3 part 2 the first idea Levi proposes is for everyone who’s still alive to escape on Eren while he fights the Beast Titan. Erwin immediately states that he won’t even get close to him and dismisses it. the most important battle of humanity (said Erwin), Erwin who has gotten countless comrades killed, committed so much sin, has shown himself to be incredibly selfish, would rather die without his life goal being completed than get Levi killed.

you could argue: well obviously not. in both those cases, Levi is in invaluable asset. he’s a tool. of course Erwin would take costly action to keep him alive.

but even if Levi did die to the Female Titan in season 1, Levi wasn’t needed for the operation in Stohess to succeed. in fact, he was injured. assumably he twisted his ankle, and Erwin put him out of commission for weeks. including during that battle against the Colossal and Armored titans, as far as they know the biggest threats to humanity. Levi wasn’t allowed because he had a minor injury. if Levi was just an important tool, Erwin would've gambled Levi's life on killing the Female Titan when he had the chance. Erwin would’ve had Levi join everyone else in rescuing Eren too.

Erwin wouldn’t be able to live with himself if Levi died under his orders. while Levi has expressed many times that even if Erwin were to lead them all into hell, he wouldn’t regret it for a second.

and in season 3 part 2, Erwin sacrifices himself (on top of scores of teenagers in classic Erwin fashion) in order for Levi to have a chance to succeed. for Levi to live, and for there to still be a hope of making a peaceful world.

with all this in mind, we have the tools to understand this promo image (god i'm such a loser).

Erwin’s conflict in season 3 part 2 is between finding the truth for his father’s sake no matter the cost, or continuing living for his duty’s sake symbolized by Levi. selfishly following his personal dream, selfishly pursuing the basement regardless of how many people die. or, selflessly bringing justice to his father’s murder by proving him right even if he can't be a part of it, selflessly leading the fight to finally bring back the hope and strength that Levi represents.

canonically, Levi is also Erwin’s last bastion of his humanity. without him, Erwin would have no qualms of acting like the monster Floch later portrays him to be. (i can add a link of proof later if anyone actually reads this lmao.)

Levi, and Erwin’s father are important to him. they give Erwin his reason to live in different ways.

this is represented by their positions on the poster. both of their profiles are visible, taking up the same amount of space in frame, both are looking back, presumably at Erwin with suggestive looks, as if waiting for Erwin to act.

specifically, let’s center in on Erwin’s father. he’s on the left, notably the side that Erwin lost his arm. this isn’t a coincidence. here, Erwin’s father represents his selfishness, even his suicidality (think back to Erwin’s comment about paying the rest of the price for his sins on hell while referring to his arm). to be succinct, Erwin’s father represents loss. and in a related meaning, he represents Erwin failing, and losing his life.

his father’s expression is different from Levi’s. his head isn’t turned towards him as much as Levi’s is, implying either a lack of confidence in Erwin, or that he isn’t supporting what he plans to do, and yet in his expression, he looks at him imploringly, worried. he’s asking for something. Erwin to stop all this self-torture? Erwin to bring justice to his death and find the truth about their world? pity? it’s not clear.

Levi is on the right. “his right hand man” right? (isayama is a genius by the way). Levi also appears to be in front of Erwin, but he’s looking back much more purposefully. he isn’t afraid, and he has no doubt. his brow is furrowed and he’s looking at Erwin pointedly, also expecting something from him, and that’s to lead him. Levi looks sure of himself, but he’s noticeably frowning, showing that he’s not completely confident. as well, Levi isn’t in uniform. actually his shirt and collar are that from no regrets when he met Erwin.

finally, Erwin. you don’t need to take more than a first glance to understand that he’s in turmoil. although most of his body is in frame, the perspective of the picture is from above him, while his father and Levi are at level with the viewer. as a result Erwin looks smaller, almost powerless. his cape billows behind him so that he isn’t shielded by it at all. symbolically, Erwin the man, and not Erwin the soldier, is being exposed here. one of the lapels of his jacket is blown aside, his commander’s necklace is strewn, and one of his legs appear to be raised as if in the middle of the motion to step back. his fist is loosely clenched by his side, further exuding his lack of confidence. he looks worried.

he’s worried about judgment from both Levi and his father. he has a choice to make that will undermine the other. he’s unsteady, and isn’t sure how to proceed.

this image literally says a thousand of words without saying anything. as i’ve explained, Erwin’s conflict between executing his father’s wish regardless of the consequences and who may die (including Levi, if Erwin were to agree to Levi's plan), or to fight valiantly in pursuit of a peaceful world with everything Levi represents: compassion, strength, sacrifice.

and of course, we know what he chose. he chose Levi. he gave up on his dream, this thing that gave Erwin the will to live, and willingly charged into a battle he knew he wouldn’t live through, let alone win.

even in near-death, coincidental or not, Erwin’s arm raising away from the syringe and his words - the question to his father in the classroom that started Erwin's whole journey - affected Levi’s choice. specifically, Levi recognized that Erwin’s dream was killing him from the inside, and it has all this time. he had become a slave to it like Kenny had. that is one of the reasons Levi let erwin rest, and erased all his burdens with death.

essay complete😈

#i had to reread midnight sun and erwin and levi's last conversations for this essay so i expect compensation for my upcoming therapy visits #/j #aot #aot manga #snk manga #aot official art #snk promo image #eruri #aot analysis #snk analysis #attack on titan manga #snk official art #snk levi #aot erwin #erwin smith #character analysis #erwin snk #erwin aot

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snorange · 8 months

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far too long of a response to @highly-invested 's excellent post and some frankly sickening takes from @breadguyyy . Seeing Moash defenders is always strange as it is not enough for Moash to be a someone who survived horrible circumstances and regained a place in society, but ultimately failed at forgiving the world that created his suffering. Instead they invent lies about him with the only apparent reason being that being a contrarian is more interesting than actually discussing the books. Moash is constantly making choices he knows are wrong because he wants the emotional reward without the emotional consequence of guilt. Moash wants to kill Elthokar because of the perceived justice in doing so despite the fact that Roshone is more directly responsible. Seeing Moash defenders is always strange. Moash is constantly making choices he knows are wrong because he wants the emotional reward without the emotional consequence of guilt. Moash wants to kill Elthokar because of the perceived justice in doing so despite the fact that Roshone is more directly responsible.

If Moash truly believed Elthokar deserved to die for his part in Moash's grandparents death he would have slit his throat one of the many times he was guarding Elthokar, but he doesn't. He is convinced of the "righteousness" of the cause when he joins the diagram. Only once there is a large organization on which for Moash to place the guilt upon does he try to kill Elthokar.

The only noble thing that Moash has done is protect the enslaved singers in the caravan to Kholinar. It is no coincidence that this happens during the time between him being separated from the diagram and before gaining Odium's attention. This is the only time Moash's pain is his own. Thus the most important part of every Moash discussion comparing him to Dalinar. Both have done terrible things, both have taken help from gods to go on living having done these things. However Dalinar is on the path of redemption and Moash isn't. This post and the ones screenshot are in response to a wob with the most important line being, "if Dalinar got redeemed, Moash has gotta go further than Dalinar. At the same time, he is certainly not looking for that." This is the most interesting discussion about Moash and Dalinar, as they are separated because of intent. Dalinar killed Evi without intending to and Moash intended to kill Kalidan, but failed doing so. Both Moash and Dalinar are knowingly and intentionally violating their moral code due to emotion but have the consequences increased by circumstance. Moash is made aware of this increased stake and with his actions state that no price to high to pay. Dalinar is not made aware and both the reader and Dalinar are left with hope a small fleeting hope that if Dalinar knew Evi was capture he would have stopped the slaughter.

Another really interesting point of comparison is the boon that they each received. Dalinar sets out for the Nightwatcher planning on asking for the boon of peace, but ultimately asks for forgiveness once there. Peace has very deep positive connotations in our culture being treated as synonymous with other positive traits such as empathy, compassion, kindness. However peace is the boon given to Moash as well as what is offered to Dalinar by Odium. This peace is what make Moash so hard to redeem. Peace is antithetical to change and growth the most important requirements for redemption.

What really gets me about @breadguyyy's comments is that he decries this series as "liberal Mormon moralizing". The most liberal thing in series is Dalinar learning to fucking read. And I know liberal does meaning any on the Internet its just a buzzword to say you hate the status quo. But even then this book series is so firmly anti-status quo. We got breaking gender norms, dismantling the feudal system, appropriations for slavery in the past, learning how to truly understand and connect with people of other races. All of which is set off by the end of the world.

#stormlight archive #cosmere #stormlight spoilers #oathbringer #moash #dalinar #brandon sanderson #the way of kings #dalinar motherfucking kholin

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pick-me-up-im-scared · 1 year

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So Called Revenge (Hiccup x Reader) (Angst)

Author's Note: I felt like doing a one-shot where the reader gets treated shitty, but then gets revenge. I've read stories where the gang (minus Hiccup) treats the reader bad, and I've always thought "but where's the revenge?". So, now I've taken matters in my own hands and wrote the ultimate badass respond. I'm clearly going through something, haha. I'm sorry Astrid for taking it out on you...

Short Summary: You’re getting abused by the dragon riders, both mentally and physically. Ever since you were a kid they seem to have something against you. Though there’s one person who’s not mean to you. Hiccup. You’ve been friends with him for a while now and your getting along very well. Matter of fact, you have a crush on him.

⚠️Warning!⚠️: This story includes swearing and gore and a brief suicide scene.

And if you're very prude, you might consider that this story including smut. There's no sexual acts, just some light "describing".

(y/n/n) = your nickname

Words: 4489

(I don't own any of the GIFs)

Your pov:

Another day in the beloved village called Berk. Notice my sarcasm. Well let's be clear, it's not necessarily the village that's the problem. Rather the people living in it. Even more specifically, a group of dragon riders. My life hasn't been the best, but it could be worse. That's until I hit my teenage years and the dragon riders decided to make my life a living hell. Don't get me wrong, they've had a thing against me all my life. But it's been more physical in the later years. Don't ask me why. Though there's one exception. Hiccup. He´s never said anything rude to me nor laid a hand on me. I think it's cause he feels pity for me. He knows how it feels to be nagged down. Also, the boy doesn't have a bad bone in his body, so he would never even consider doing such an act. And he'd definitely stop them if it wasn't for the fact they never do anything when he's around. They're smart. They know what consequences their actions could lead to if the Chief saw this type of behavior.

But Hiccup and I have more "history" then this. Well, history and history. He tried to interact with me back when we were 15, cause..... well, we were in the same boat. Though I would love to be friends with him, I couldn't even look at him for more then five seconds. Okay, I'll admit it, I have had a crush on Hiccup ever since we were 15. Why not confess your feelings for him? Hum? Well, he's already taken. And Astrid doesn't seem to like me that much to begin with, and I don´t think she would be more found of me if she finds out I've fallen for her boyfriend. Even though I regret not socializing with Hiccup straight from the beginning I've made up for it over the few years. We've grown pretty close, actually. We soon found out we shared an interest in sketching. He loved to watch as my talented hands worked their magic in my sketchbook. I still remember the day he asked me to make a portrait of him. Let me tell you, if I hadn't fallen in love with him already spending 1,5 hours, looking at his gorgeous, freckled face sure would. If you look past the sweating, butterflies in the stomach, and the shaking due to my nerves, I really like to spend time with Hiccup.

I dragged my limping body towards my dresser, changing into my regular outfit. I got down the stairs to make myself some breakfast. Me and my brother barely see each other throughout the day. Just a quick 'hello' or a simple wave whenever we saw each other around the village. It isn't until he comes home at the evening we could properly interact. But he's usually too exhausted by the day's hard work so we just eat dinner then he's off to bed. Due to our 'situation' he has to work harder in order to provide for the both of us. Both our parents has, unfortunately, passed away. Mother died from pestilence, three years ago. No chance of survival, just counting the days she had left. Our whole family got affected by our mother's death, though our father took it the worse. He fell into a deep depression which lead to him taking his life two years later. He hang himself from the wooden beam in their, well his, bedroom. Leaving me and Christopher to take care of our selfs. Remember the part where Hiccup felt bad for me? Yeah, I think this has some reasons for that too.

I did my part, but my payment wasn't in much help in the long run. So I'd stand for the cooking and taking care of the household to try to make it up for him. Especially the long nights. You see, the gang doesn't "just" call me name or tell me what a disappointment I am to my family. There's been a couple of times where they've hurt me physically, too. Punches against the face, kicks in the stomach, even cuts at various body parts. And who has to patch me up again? Christopher. I get mad at myself for not fitting in. Making my brother lack in sleep because I can't stop being seen as a burden. I see Hiccup as my best, well my only, friend and trust him with all of my problems. But how could I tell him his girlfriend and his friends mentally and physically abuse me? He wouldn't believe me. So I try ti stay away from them, but more importantly don´t be around them on my own.

Once the dry slice of bread was washed down by a glass of lukewarm water I was ready to start my day. I opened up the door to be met by grey clouds. This would actually be considered as nice weather for Berk, since we're used to pouring rain or hail. I walked down the village. Noticing my brother at his second shift at the blacksmith. I gave him a wave once we had eye contact. He gave me a warm smile, since his hands were too busy to answer me with a wave back. I chuckled for myself until my eyes fell onto another familiar face. Hiccup. I stopped in my tracks. He was chatting with the rest of the gang, just outside The Great Hall. I got a bellyache just looking at them. Of course Hiccup isn't the reason to my abrupt stop. If it would have been just him and Toothless I would have ran up and hugged him, chatting about something random like we always do. But his company prevent that from happening. Constant flashback of the last solo "meeting" with the rest of the gang went through my head.

I shield my face with my right hand as I quicken the pace, hoping to get away from them as fast as possible. Without getting noticed. "Hey (y/n/n)!" I cringed before looking up to see Hiccup waving me over. Damn it! He saw me. I walked over to the gang, trying not to look too suspicious where Hiccup would notice. It took every nerve in my body to walk over there, being terrified to find out what they'll do if Hiccup leaves. As I reached them Hiccup wrapped his arm around my shoulder while looking down at me, smiling warmly "How are you today, (y/n/n)?". I could tell Astrid's starting to get pissed by the way he approached me. I removed his arm while laughing nervously "I'm great, Hiccup. Thanks for asking". He nodded, giving me another smile. They went back to their own conversations, not really giving me the opportunity to flick in. I began feeling really awkward, just standing there. Seeing this as my opportunity to avoid getting beaten up, I tried to sneak away. As I turned my back to run off, thinking I successfully left without anyone noticing, I felt a pair of arms around my waist. Damn it!

I got dragged back to the group, my hopes of getting back to my house went further and further away. Getting back to the exact position I was in just a few seconds ago Hiccup held his arm around me to prevent me from leaving again. "Where were you going?" he asked as he tried to study my face. I sighed "Nowhere". He looked suspiciously at me, but didn't ask any further. "So (y/n), we were wondering if you wanted come fly with us?" Hiccup asked with his adorable smile. "Uhm, I don't have a dragon, so... very sorry Hiccup but unfortunat-" "You can fly with me and Toothless" he interrupted before I could finish my excuse as to why I 'unfortunately' couldn't join them. I glanced at Astrid before looking back at him "You don't have to. I'll be fine right here". Hiccup chuckled "Stop it, I know how much you like to fly when we're alone" Astrid's eyes widened. "You're coming. That's a Chief's order" he joked.

"I'm just going to do... some manly businesses, then we're ready to go!" Hiccup informed before starting to walked off. I looked at the group who already smirked at me, giving me an idea of what's to come. Answering with a worried look I quickly grabbed Hiccup's upper arm, making him stop. "I-I'll go with you" I said, trying to cover up how terrified I actually am. He looked at me for a while before saying "Uhm.... I'm going to pee, (y/n/n)". I began to panic even more "I know, but you know, it's always better to do things together" I laughed nervously again "I..... I c-can keep you company!". He looked at me confused "It's just around the corner, I'll be quick". "Oh, babe. Could you get me my spare sweatshirt? I seem to have forgotten it at home" Astrid asked, knowing all too well what she's doing. "Yeah, sure! (y/n) it'll take a bit longer including that, but I'll be back as soon as possible" I listen as my last bit of hope blew away. I'm screwed! I watched as Hiccup left.

"He's nice, isn't he?", I snapped my head towards a smirking Astrid. "Huh?" I asked rather confused. Was she genuinely asking or was this some sort of trick? My question was soon answered as Astrid punched me straight in the face, making me fall to the ground. As I dragged my hand under my nose I saw blood. I tried to swipe it up with the sleeve of my tunic. Hiccup can't see this! I looked up at Astrid as she continued "I've seen the way you look at him. But he's mine, and I don't like other girls looking at my boyfriend". "Why? You're afraid he'll leave you for me?" I snapped back, but immediately regret giving such a cocky comeback. Her eyes widened before she punched me again, this time focusing on my eye. My head fell back with the sudden dizziness.

Astrid grabbed me by the hair to keep my head up while she spoke to me "I don't need to worry about you. Sluts isn’t his favorite anyway". She lets go off my hair and instead grabbed my wrist, pressing it against the ground while she strangled me. I grabbed her face with my other hand, trying to make her get off me. "Hey, Snotlout! Grab her other wrist!" she ordered, and soon both my wrists were against the muddy ground. Astrid brought out her dagger. She motioned to Snotlout who lifted up my navy tunic to my neck, exposing my bare chest to the rest of the gang who were circling us. Both to get a better look at what was happening and to cover up the ongoing situation from the people walking by. They laugh at the sight, which made me fight even harder to get out of their grip. I need to get out of here. Come on (y/n)! Come on!

"Let's see what the guys think when your breasts are butchered" Astrid said when she slide the knife over my exposed chest. I bit my lip at first to prevent myself from screaming, knowing they'll punish me hard if I do. But as she continued to slice my flesh I screamed out in pain. Snotlout was quick to cover my mouth until the damage was done. Astrid smirked devilish at her work as I panted heavily. Snotlout let's go of my wrist, figuring I wouldn't have the energy to do anything anyway. "From what I've heard your bed's pretty busy. At least that's what Calvin said", my eyes widened at the mentioning of his name. Calvin were my ex boyfriend, who I've spent 2 years of my life with. Based on his personality, I wasn't surprised he talked to the gang behind my back. What I'm nervous about is what he told them. You'd think I'm over a relationship that ended 2 years ago, but how can I when it's constantly brought up?

"He would brag about taking your virginity before you were wed" Astrid continued. "No he didn't" I said unsurely, looking up at the rest of the gang that still surrounded me. "Yeah he did. What type of things you were willing to do. The slutty behavior you would take on. I still remember Hiccup's disgusted face when he told us" Astrid continued. He told Hiccup, too? "Stop it!" I screamed, tears steaming down my cheeks. "I know Hiccup well enough to know he doesn't like girls with slutty behaviors like yours. He like his girls virgin and pure. Not someone who's willing to spread her legs at any guy that gives her a little attention. Not that you had a chance with him to begin with" she laughed while looking down at me. My blood was pumping with anger as she continued to lie. Even though all I felt was anger, my words just came out as whispering "Please stop" why wouldn't she stop? "What? I'm just telling you the truth. You're sad now that your imaginary fairytale wouldn't come true, cause Hiccup wouldn't even touch you with a stick?" my blood was boiling more and more with every word Astrid feed me "Come on, (y/n)! Don't aim at guys that's out of your league. It's only pathetic. You know they only want you for what's in your pant-". Astrid was cut off as I pushed her off me and slammed her against a house. I wrapped my fingers around her neck and began to choke her.

"I said stop it!" I yelled straight in her face, not being able to handle the anger that was built up inside of me. "Why won't you listen for once and shut the fuck up?" I said through gritted teeth as I squeeze my hands harder around her neck. "(y/n) stop! She can't breathe!" Snotlout yelled as he approached us. "Don't you dare fucking touch me again!" I snapped back, not taking my eyes off Astrid. A satisfaction filled my body as I saw Astrid chip for air. All the anger I've kept inside from all the things she'd said and all the gestures was being thrown into this moment. I heard Snotlout's steps behind me again. Not wanting to risk this opportunity being disturb I pulled Astrid away from the house wall and put her in a chokehold instead. We turned around quickly to face the rest of the group "I said stay away!" I yelled. Thank gods Astrid wasn't able to fight back due to her unconsciousness, otherwise she'd easily take me down. Snotlout was still walking towards us, making me sigh.

I grabbed Astrid's dagger and threw it at Snotlout's thigh. He screamed out in pain before dropping to the ground. I grabbed my own dagger and pointed it towards the rest of the gang who slowly backed away. The pain of Astrid pressed against my opened wounds was nothing compared to the satisfaction. The satisfaction of finally getting my revenge. "(y/n)!", I snapped out off my focus at the yelling of my name by a familiar voice. Tuffnut took this opportunity to unwrap my arm around Astrid's neck while shoving me to the ground. As I looked up I saw Hiccup rubbing Astrid's back as she was coughing like crazy. He looked at Snotlout who's moaning in pain while laying on the ground, before he turned to me. "(y/n)! What did you do this for?" Hiccup asked with an angry tone. He was clearly pissed off, but why? If he had heard just one of the things she was saying we wouldn't have this discussion now.

"She started it!" I said while pointing to Astrid. Hiccup rolled his eyes, clearly not believing me, "Oh come on, (y/n)! Stop act so childish! You could have killed her!" he raised his voice again, especially at that last part. "Too bad you pushed me away, or I could have killed that bitch" I mumbled. Hiccup snapped his head, staring daggers into me "What did you just say?". I'm not back out of this. I stand for what I think, I'm not going lower myself to that pest's level. "I said, too bad you pushed me away, or I could have killed that bitch!" I repeated while standing up with grace, ignoring the pain. Hiccup couldn't believe what I had just said, even though he heard me the first time. He didn't know what to say. His eyes just looked at me with disgust. I brushed off my pants before making my way back to my hut. As I walked past Astrid I quickly went up to her and kicked her in the stomach. I smirked as I walked off, fulfilling my goal of making her feel at least a tenth of the pain she'd caused me. I ignore Hiccup's upset calls for me, and the rest of the gang's insults that was being thrown.

Hiccup's pov:

"You're so delusional, Hiccup" Christopher, (y/n)'s bother, said while I tried my best to comfort Astrid. She didn't coughing anymore, but she was still holding on tight to my shoulders. I sighed and turned to Christopher "What? Your sister were about kill my girlfriend. If there's one thing I'm not it's delusional". "You can't be this stupid, right?", I felt Astrid stiffing in my arms but played it off as fear. "If Tuffnut wouldn't have pushed (y/n) away she would have kept going until Astrid stopped breathing. Or did I get that part wrong?" I asked sarcastically. "Yeah, she probably would, but she had her reasons". I let go of Astrid to stand up and walk over to Christopher. "Oh, please tell me what reasons she had that would make it sain to kill someone!" I yelled. My gods, what's up with this family? "Because Astrid would do the same to her!" I got a bit taken away by the tone of his voice.

"You all would" Christopher gestured to the whole gang, who looked down in shame. What are they doing? Is this true? "They would never do such a thing" I defending the gang, praying to the gods this isn't true. Christopher huffed "You haven't seen what they've done to her, Hiccup. The deep wounds I've had to clean up. The painful screams and sleepless nights. The old wounds barely having a chance to heal until they're met by one ones. Words a 13 year old girl shouldn't even know exist, non the less being called. All the death threats and names being thrown at her. How would you like it to be called 'a useless whore who's the reason her father killed himself'?". I flinched at the harsh words. My eyes began to get glossy as the information gets feed into my head. What have I done?

"And for you to call yourself Chief and don't know anything about it" he said while poked his finger at my chest before walking away. I look around at the gang while asking "Is this true?". My expression showed the guilty I was feeling. "Is what true?" Snotlout asked, playing dumb. "Have you told (y/n) those awful things and abused her behind my back?" I spat, already knowing the answer based on Snotlout's unnecessary question. I cringed as the words came out of my mouth. I can't believe someone would say and do those things to (y/n). The sweet and beautiful girl I´m happy to even call my friend. For people to say that is fucked up, but these people also being the people I refer to as friends. And my fucking girlfriend being the worse? After some time they all nodded, making me feel like throwing up. Everyone expect Astrid. I walked up to her, not even bothering to hunch down to her level. I looked down at her and asked "Have you been apart of any of these actions, Astrid?" She looked at me nervously, not being able to have eye contact with me for more than a second. "No, I would never do such horrible things, Hic. Not to our beloved (y/n/n)". I knew she would lie. "Why are you lying to me?" I ask with a sturdy tone. Her face dropped "I'm not, Hi-". I cut her off by turning my back to her, walking away.

The information Christopher told me clouded my mind. He's right, I am a useless Chief, even more a friend. If I were a good friend I would have noticed this way before. This explains why she never wanted to come down to the lake to swim. Why she'd stay home for days at the time once she'd been felt with the gang by herself. Gods, I'm an idiot for not connecting the dots! I could feel the tears forming in my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away. I can be the one crying when I'm the asshole. I walked up the porch till I was right in front of the familiar door. I knock. I heard Christopher's voice from inside "(y/n), I told you to sit down and rest! I can answer the door!". I heard uneven steps getting closer and closer.

As the door opened I could see (y/n) limping as she took another step towards the doorway. She supported herself against the handle which allowed me to see the bandage that covered most of her upper body though her opened shirt. What have they done to her? My poor (y/n). She widened her eyes when she saw me. I could tell she immediately tried to hide any signs of her injury, straighten her back. "Are you here to continue yelling at me?" she asked bluntly. I shook my head. "If you're here to receive an apology, you can fuck off! I'm not sorry for finally putting that pathetic bitch in her place" I tensed up a bit at her harsh words, but then remembered the things they've done to her. Now the guilt came back "Yeah, about that, I'm so sorry (y/n). I should have listened to yo-" "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Bye" she cut me off and slammed the door right in my face. Okay, I deserved that. I decided there's no need to knock again. She wouldn't answer it anyway.

I was actually quite surprised to see her at The Great Hall at lunch time. She had a plate of food in front of her, but by the looks of it she hadn't touched it. I grabbed my own plate and made my way over to her table. "Is this seat taken?" I asked, pointing at the spot in front of her. She look at me for a while before shaking her head. I sat down and she immediately turned her head, not wanting to look at me. "Chicken isn't your favorite?" I asked jokingly. "There's other things that makes me lose my apatite" she answered brutally, still looking at the floor beside her. I sighed "Look (y/n/n) I-" "Don't call me that!" she snapped. I jumped at her sudden outburst "Okay, sorry.... (y/n), I'm so sorry, I truly am. I should have trusted you. It's just- I never thought Astrid or any of the others would ever do anything like this to you. Not in my wildest, darkest imagination".

"Well they did" she bite back. "I know, and I don't know what to do to make it up to you. I truly care for you (y/n), and I can't forgive myself for letting you go through this for so long" I caressed her shoulder while pouring out my feelings. She look at me shocked "I-I love you, Hiccup". Now it's my turn to be shocked. S-she l-loves me? "I-I'm sorry, what was that?" I asked, wanting to make sure I heard her correct. "I love you, Hiccup. I have ever since we were 15. I wouldn't socialize with you because I got so nervous whenever you were around. I know we'll never be anything, so I've tried to hide my feelings for you. But I guess Astrid noticed it anyway. Half of the things she told me was surrounding that. Me having a crush on you". Okay, Christopher definitely didn't tell me that. She took a deep breath before she continued "I know you're with Astrid, and I don't mean to ruin anything. I just felt the need to confess and now seemed like a good time". She lowered her gaze in order to avoid eye contact.

I sat with my mouth wide open. I can't believe what she just confessed. She love me? She has loved me for six years and she hasn't told me? "Y-you love me?" I asked, still not sure if this was a dream or not. She nodded. "You can go back to your gang now. I won't bother you anymore, don't worry" she informed before standing up and leave. Due to my shock my reactions were a bit delayed. But as soon as my mind was coping the situation I raised up and ran towards her "(y/n) wait!". Once I caught up with her I noticed the tears running down her cheeks "Hiccup, please don't make this harder then it already is" she cried out "Try to forget about me and go to your girlfriend". As she finished her sentence I grabbed her cheeks and kissed her. I could tell she was shocked but soon gave in. As we pulled away she looked at me confused. "She's right here... in front of me" I said while smiling at her. She smiled back before pulling me into another kiss.

_____________________________________________________________

Author's Note: Not how I planned to end this story, but it's cute. Though I would like to know your opinion on endings. Do you like having them being sad (if it's allowed), or do you like this cutesy 'live happily ever after'- type of endings?

#hiccup x reader #hiccup horrendous haddock lll #hiccup #hiccup haddock #httyd #how to train your dragon #hiccup x reader imagines #angst

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jackoshadows · 1 year

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It’s impressive the way GRRM has two characters make different decisions and still end up at the same place in order to highlight how there are no easy solutions to the hard choices these young leaders have to make.

As KITN, Robb Stark decides to put the North and his campaign above personal self interest and refuses to exchange a high-stakes hostage like Jaime Lannister for his sisters. He still ends up getting betrayed by his men and killed.

As LC, Jon Snow selfishly puts his personal interest above the interests of the Watch and decides to attack the Warden of the North to save his sister. He ends up getting betrayed by his men and killed.

As Queen, Daenerys tries to negotiate diplomatically and sue for peace with the powerful masters because their insurgency is killing people. She even goes so far as to marry one of them, Hizdahr, and stay in Meereen to help the people instead of leave for Westeros and Iron Throne. And still, the Slave Masters (and most likely Hizdahr) try to kill her.

As LC, Jon Snow refuses to meet his deputies half-way on their complaints and disagreements, he ruthlessly overrides their objections and instead depends more and more on the Freefolk to get things done. And still, those deputies end up killing him.

Which is why, as much as us readers can debate on what this or that character should have done and why this character is a terrible leader because they did action A instead of action B or why that character would have survived if they had only done action C, there are always external circumstances beyond the control of these characters and their other actions that push them to that ending.

All these ‘Well he would not have got killed if he had only talked to them more!’ critiques never made sense to me. Even when Daenerys conceded so much ground (There were literal slave markets outside the gates) to the slave masters in order for them to stop their attacks and insurgency, them being utterly terrible people means all that ultimately meant nothing. Daenerys did talk to the slave masters and they were still trying to kill her.

Even if Jon Snow had charmed his men with tea and crumpets, he would have still ended up breaking NW oaths and neutrality to save Arya, leading to the same conclusion of that being the straw which breaks the camel’s back for his men. Even when Robb refused to exchange Jaime for Sansa, his mother ended up freeing Jaime and his own marriage and breaking of promises doomed his campaign.

As GRRM himself puts it:

And whether it be Ned Stark or Tyrion Lannister or Tywin Lannister or Daenerys Targaryen or Cersei Lannister trying to deal with the real challenges that affect anyone trying to rule the 7K or even a city like Meereen and it’s hard. You know, we can all read the books or read history and say oh, so and so was stupid and made a lot of mistakes and look at all these stupid mistakes they make. But these kind of mistakes are always much more apparent in hind sight than when you are actually faced with the decision about, oh my God, what would I do in this situation. How do I resolve this thing? Do I do the moral thing? But what about the political consequences of the moral thing? Do I do the pragmatic, cynical thing and kind of screw the people who are screwed by it? I mean, it is HARD. And I want to get to all of that.

Even worse is when people go, well, character A did this wrong and that wrong and are therefore totally unfit to be a leader, but look character B who has never had to make decisions as a leader that affects thousands of lives would totally be an amazing leader because they haven’t done anything yet. The total lack of logic to make these kind of statements is just simply incomprehensible to me.

#Jon Snow #Daenerys Targaryen #Robb Stark #GRRM #ASoIaF

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necr0maxic · 5 days

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i am completely convinced that henri has it the worst of all the amnesia protagonists and by that i mean he has no redemption, he has no time to grieve, he has no explanation for what's going on and realistically, he is dead after the ending of the game with not a single soul to explain what happened inside that bunker. an unknown tragedy.

daniel and oswald eventually remember all about finding their orbs and the alien power that brought upon them. the shadow, vitae and the rituals were all explained to daniel and he remmbers them. the visions of the future and what oswald did with that knowledge comes back to him. the two get to remember what happened as they'd already had time to come to terms with it and get their redemption once they've been through the amnesia process and had the time to grieve what they did in the past. they to make a conscious choice in their endings too. oswald puts an end to the machine and his own suffering and it's his choice. daniel gets to take down alexander (with or without agrippa) or can choose to let alex complete his goal; even if it means his own sacrifice, daniel chooses his ending.

tasi and the rest of her crew all have a run in with tihana and the other world directly and by the time she gets to make the choice for her ending, she remembers everything and sees the consequences of her actions. given tasi hasn't actually done anything wrong and whose whole story revolves around being a grieving mother, she gets to slowly remember that as she's transforming and come to a newly informed conclusion where she, once again, chooses her outcome. she either sacrifices herself and/or her baby or she takes a risk despite knowing the consequences but the important part is she chooses it.

and what's so special about the three of them is that their choice has an impact on the world past their short lifespans. (going off the "true" endings) daniel calming the shadow, oswald destroying the machine and stopping the massacre, tasi destroying tihana's reign.

justine.... uh, justine is her own situation. she's just living her best life. she has nothing to do with the other world anyway, she really is just thriving. good for her.

henri though? he is never granted that. we don't know exactly when he went into the bunker or what involvement he had with the roman tunnels, but given we get no comments from either him or augustin about the strange events that happened in there, i don't believe either of them were aware. they're in a warzone, it's not uncommon for men to lose their minds and start seeing/hearing strange things. even hearing stories of the tunnels, it's easy to just believe that everyone i just superstitious. all henri knows is he's fighting a war, one day his best friend nearly died on a patrol and then somehow he miraculously survived and ended up back at the bunker. the man has amnesia caused by severe head trauma, that's a damn hefty thing to deal with already. severe head trauma, being in a coma for at least a week or two, probable concussions, retrograde amnesia hell even the fact he doesn't speak throughout the game might indicate aphasia. henri was not present for the tunnels incident not augustin's transformation so he did not already have the time to process and grieve it all. he finds things out by piecing together other people's journals but may not even have much time to do so as he's constantly under threat during the entire game. worse still, this creature that has no earthly explanation is hunting him and then when he reaches the tunnels for himself he suddenly sees floating rocks and visions so that's a whole other things for him to process. he has no idea what the other world is, what the harvesters are or why the harvesters exist. and once he escapes the bunker, he's not even given 10 seconds to breathe before he's at best captures and at most realistically killed by german soldiers who even if they could communicate with each other, would NEVER believe the insane story henri only had a fraction of information about of what happened down there. his death wouldn't affect anything and after the true ending, nobody would even have known he just stopped an almost immortal horror from massacring entire armies. there is no redemption to be had, there is no grieving, there is no rationalising what happened, it's just pure and constant terror.

#amnesia the bunker #some thoughts #i really like the protags but damn #henri clement #has it the roughest

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inbarfink · 7 months

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Before the final episodes of “Fionna and Cake,” there was a theory that Simon would move to Fionna’s world, since that world is normal, and non-magical and Fionna and Cake would live in Simon’s world, that is, in OOO, since that world is magical and full of adventures. Do you think this ending would have been better? Like, Fionna's world is legal, she and Simon can call each other, but they swapped worlds

Hmmmmm... okay, so there's two Things that I think about Re:Endings

Endings can't just get swapped in and out of a story, because Endings are built up to during the course of the entire narrative. To hypothetically change the ending of F&C, you don't just need to change the last few scenes of the show, or even just the last two episodes - you're gonna have to rewrite a lot of the series from the ground-up because it's been building up for that specific ending that we've got.

Fionna and Cake is a series whose core conflicts are not exactly... directly applicable to the real world. All of it's lessons and themes have to be understood via the lens of Metaphor. As such, with Endings in general, but with endings of something like F&C especially - it matters less What Happens on paper and more what does it Mean. The question of which alternative universe Simon or Fionna needed to end up on is dependent on the thematic implications of that plot point.

So, like, the show has already spent a lot of time subtly establishing it's themes of acceptance and self-growth - and the way they relate to Fionna and Simon's issues within Fionnaworld and Mainworld. An ending where they just swap places would probably feel unsatisfying because it wouldn't gel with the thematic and emotional concepts we've set up so far.

Fionna thought the problem with her World was that it lacked fantasy and magic, but her real problem was that she felt stuck, helpless and unable to affect meaningful change in her life and world. So when she learned to think things through and accept that her actions have consequences

She realized that she didn't need the Magical Adventures to make her life meaningful. She can make changes in her world in all kind of wonderful normal ways.

And honestly, if she ended up in Ooo without learning this lesson... she wouldn't have actually being much better off than she was in her old World before the series started.

If anything, she would've been worse off because she was cutting herself away from her entire support network and, as a result of her not thinking about her actions and initially viewing Ooo as just a manifestation of her escapist fantasies and not as a real world with real people... as far as Ooo is concerned she and Cake are violent criminals.

So, like, the only way she could've ended up even remotely happy in Ooo is by learning the lesson that meant that she didn't need to go to Ooo to be happy.

Simon would've been in a very similar position. There's also the problem of him living all of his loved ones behind with just Fionna as a point of contact. And... his depression and trauma would not be cured by just a change of scenery. And sure, maybe he would feel less isolated in a world where he's not the only 'normal guy'...

....or his problems will just end up inverting themselves. Because the experiences of living in Ooo have changed Simon, most notably in the character beat in Episode 3 where he's surprised by the presence of a non-talking cat.

Cause, yeah, Simon is 'just a normal guy' - but he's a normal guy whose been living in a world of Wacky Magic for years now and he survived an apocalypse and he used to be Cursed Wizard and his adopted daughter is a Vampire half-demon and he's technically over a 1000 years old... In an actual Normal World, he might start feeling like a Weirdo.

Which is what he was before the Mushroom War.

Simon never truly 'fit-in' into any 'world' he lived in. So he's better off not searching for the One Perfect Place where he belongs - whatever it's a Normal World, or like a Normal World (with a little bit of magic sprinkled in) like what Fionnaworld ended up being - it's to accept the fact that he doesn't need to perfectly fit-in to be happy and feel like he belong and relate to people.

And the ability to accept change and to stop romanticizing the past is a huge part of the Betty part of Simon's arc. So it just fits in better if Simon also has to accept that the world he exists in and the life he leads have changed, rather than being able to go back to a recreation of the Pre-War World he remembers.

... but I am saying all of this because this is what F&C chose to build up to and what F&C chose as it's themes and metaphors. A version of F&C where Simon ends up in Fionnaworld and Fionna ends up in the Mainworld can absolutely exist and work... it's just that you need to rewrite at least like half of the series to build up to it in a way that feels like a satisfying and appropriate conclusion. But also, like, I'm happy enough with the ending we've got that I don't feel the need to do all of this lol

#adventure time #atimers #fionna and cake #fionna & cake #at #fac #f&c #adventure time fionna and cake #adventure time simon #fionna and cake finale #fionna and cake simon #fionna and cake show #fionna and cake series #simon petrikov #simon adventure time #fionna campbell #fionna the human #adventure time fionna

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skygemspeaks · 8 months

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okay so after seeing all of the first three episodes again last night with friends and falling even more in love with the cast than before, i finally got around to episode 4 today. some thoughts:

i can't gush enough about the set design, it's all absolutely gorgeous. i was completely in love with the little clearing where young zoro and kuina have their match, just seeing the sunlight filtering through the trees...it really gives off that kind of nostalgic, romantic feeling that you get when you think back to a simpler time in your life. and of course, kaya's mansion is gorgeous! it doesn't look like yet another generic rich person mansion. it has character! i loved all the wall art in their dining room, i like the orderly yet cozy cluttered feeling of the kitchen, i love how it all feels lived in, like it has a history

talking more about the technical aspects, i love the costume design too! i like the slightly too clean look of the marine uniforms - it brings notice to the fact that these are new cadets who don't have much fighting history. i like that both nami and sham get to wear practical clothes! no stupid high heels for nami! no short shorts!

i didn't mention this last time, but i LOVE jacob's version of usopp. it's crazy that they managed to find a guy who can do usopp's over the top facial expressions in real life. they really lucked out with this entire main cast, i can't imagine literally anyone else playing our beloved straw hats. i hope we can see at least one more season, and i hope i adore robin and chopper just as much as i love these the east blue crew

as sad as it is, i'm glad that it seems like merry really is dead. i like this more brutal direction for the live action, because it feels like there are actual consequences for them, and i like that you can't take for granted that just because someone survived in the manga/anime, it means they'll survive in the live action too

the child actors are a little stiff, but i think they're really doing a good job given how young they are! young zoro's actor was definitely doing a better job that kojiro's. he sold his grief over kuina's death very well

speaking of koshiro, i still fuckin hate that dude. he did kuina so dirty with his sexism, convincing her she had no future as a swordswoman, making her believe that she could never stand up to men.

i think having koby and helmeppo show up at kaya's mansion and inevitably get duped by kuro was a good choice. it lets koby get a little more experience in a leadership position, and more than that, it helps establish usopp's distrust of the marines. from the beginning he was always interested in the romantic view he had of pirates because of his dad, but seeing that the marines failed him, even after they said they would help him, and that they didn't believe him no matter how much he begged them to, it helps establish a reason for him to go along with the pirates when they invite him to. the marines didn't do shit to protect kaya, but luffy and his friends did everything they could. they loved kaya, maybe not as much as usopp, but they wanted her to be safe.

side note, it's kind of hilarious to think about helmeppo trying to kill luffy, and then going back to the ship and finding out that he's garp's grandson 💀💀

when we are! started playing in the background as the going merry set sail for the first time with her crew...i cried, i'm not ashamed to admit it. gosh, i missed her, and i miss the first opening. it's so nice to see her get to go on more adventures with her crew in this new medium! i know some people were unhappy with her figurehead, but i just adore it, it suits her crew well

luffy's little shit-eating grin when kaya just gives them merry for free, and nami being just SO exasperated because he's gonna be so insufferable now, it made me laugh so hard! i love these idiots

when usopp and luffy were arguing about which one of them was captain, and nami just burst out laughing? and then zoro started chuckling too? that was so healing! they've already had good chemistry so far, and they've shown loyalty, but it's so nice to finally see zoro and nami kind of starting to admit that they do like these people they've become friends with, and it's nice to see that they're coming around to how much they care about luffy

i was a little iffy about them doing the garp reveal at the end. my first instinct was to be really annoyed by it, but after thinking on it for a moment, it honestly does make sense. in the first place there wasn't really a plot reason to put off the reveal until post enies lobby anyways. and then you also have to take into account that it would be a huge success if we ever even get a second season, let alone reaching post enies lobby. so it's not ideal, but i'm not too upset at them about it. ALSO, seeing zoro, nami, and usopp's reaction to the news was fucking hilarious. i hope we get some good dynamics in the next episode! i want to see garp call luffy his idiot grandson. i want that funny family dysfunction.

#opla spoilers #opla liveblog #opla #spoilers #one piece #op spoilers #monkey d luffy #monkey d garp #roronoa zoro #nami #kaya op #kuro op #koby op #helmeppo

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thekingofwinterblog · 2 months

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The Kinslayings, an escalation of Pointless Violence

One thing I love about how Tolkien portrays the Kinslayings of the Feanorians, is how they tell a tale that ties into his ideas of how evil is an influencing force that will destroy a person over time if he ever tries to justify wickedness for "the greater good".

And he should know, as a man who fought and survived WW1, one of the most pointless wastes of human lives there ever was, justified by "othering" men with the same roots, religion and values as oneself in order to justify killing millions of them, as well as sending off an entire generation of young men to die for these hollow ideals, he would know a thing or teo about justifying wickedness "for the greater good".

The start of the first kinslaying is the only one that is arguably "Necessary" from a brutal, utilitarian perspective.

The Noldor need to get across the sea, meaning they either have to procure ships, or they have to walk across the deadly land bridge in the north.

So with these two options, if they choose to sail, they have 2 options. Either they get the ships that alreqdy exists one way or another, or they take the painstakingly longer road of making new ships themselves.

Now this second choice doesnt exactly line up neatly with an event that came later, but it very much brings to mind how during the war of the last alliance, the gathered forces of Arnor and Gil-galad spent years painstakingly making equipment, procuring food, and making battle plans for the campaign that would lead them to victory.

Now they didn't exactly have any easy options then like the Feanorians do, but it shows what Tolkien's message is. The hard road, with work, preparation and planning is the way to go.

But of course Feanor was not one such.

Instead when he was not allowed to borrow the ships, he and his responded with threats, then murder, as they slaughtered their own until just now friends and "Countrymen"(In as so far that they were all elves of Valinor".

It is a brutal, heartless afair that sours any and all goodwill they might have gotten from the Valar if they had done this in a better way, and has massive consequences for all elves who now find themselves barred from Valinor.

But that's not where it ends, because what follows is Escalation.

Feanor and his sons have gone down a path from which there is seemingly no going back from, and so, deciding that if he uses the boats to go back to valinor and ferry across the rest of his own people, his subjects, the people he hinself lead to kill their own comrades and friends, he leaves them to their own fate and burns the ships he stole down, in order to ensure that he would remain the unchallenged leader of the Noldor in Middle Earth.

Taking the boats, horrible, and evil though it was, was a genuine means to an end.

This is simply banal politics that not only split the Noldor at a time they really, really needed it, but probably cost hundreds of thousands of them their lives during the crossing of the Helcaraxë.

Its a slippery slope.

Once you give in to justifying evil for a cause, you will innevitably become more than willing to excuse other evil for it.

But you know what the best part is?

Acording to one version of the Kinslaying, One of Feanor's sons wanted to go back to Valinor, presumably to repent, and despite having sworn an "unbreakable oath", he was willing to go back on it because he came to realise that his actions were wrong.

And he was not killed by some divine bolt of lightning, but his own father lighting the ship he was on ablaze withouth knowing he was there.

Again, Tolkien makes his view on people who cling to "justifications" for evil quite clear.

The second Kinslaying is even worse than thw first, for it exposes absolutely everything for how it is.

It is important that this takes place AFTER the battle of unnumbered tears.

There is no glory left for the sons of Feanor at this point, for any chance of actually defeating Morgoth, avenging their grandfatger, father and all their now fallen brothers and reclaiming the silmarills by some glorious feat of arms has now passed.

They, and all the rest of beleriand now lives in the shadow of Morgoths innevitable victory, which he is taking his sweet time with.

But since there is small chance at taking the silmarills from Morgoth, they give up on that, because that is the hard road, and these men do not have the character of strength to actually take the hard road, which demands actual strength of character.

Instead they decide to target the one they can target, the one carried by King Dior, a man who has done them no harm, no injustice and by all accounts is a good man.

And they murder him. They kill his wife, and destroy his kingdom, one of the few realms that still exists and still fights the good fight against their supposed final enemy Morgoth.

And then, in an act of cruel and wicked spite, angry that this man had the gal to resist when they came to steal from him, and murdered his people, they take his two sons out in the woods, and leave them to starve or be slaughtered by wild animals.

But should we expect better? These men partook in all the ills of the first kinslaying, and so, are willing to cross any and all lines for their "great cause", for that is all that they have left.

Maedhros tries some repentence at this point, and decide to seek out the children his men left so cruelly to die, but he does not find them. The narratice does not reward him for this halfhearted attempt at redeeming himself if he is not willing to give up this vainglorious oath of his.

Which leads us to the final kinslaying, though i would argue there was a fourth one, which serves as the ending of this tale

The third kinslaying is the worst of all, and it is such an evil act that even some of their own troops, people who stood by them through the first kinslaying, the betraying with the burning ships, the tragedic defeat and aftermath of the battle of the unnumbered tears, and the second kinslaying, turns on them and tries to oppose them, having found the guts to do what none of the sons of feanor ever had and abandon this foolish quest.

Upon learning that Elwing, the only surviving member of Dior's family they unjustly slew is chilling with the survivors of the rest of the genocides of Beleriand, they decide, screw it, lets just sack this last remaining, undefended city, kill everyone we can, take the silmarill and sort out the consequnses later.

The previous kinslayings were unjust, evil, wicked, but they were military conflicts. There was a fight, regardless of how onesided they might have been.

The slaughter at the havens is anything but.

Is is genocide, snuffing out, or as good as, the last remaining survivors of Doriath, Gondolin and others.

If any of them survived this final sack, they were so few that their entire cultures effectively died out with them.

And once again, they are denied their price. They capture Elwings sons, Elros and Elrond to use as hostages in hope of negotiating back the silmarills.

With all of this in mind, the final chapter of this story is not particularily surprising.

For after the war of wrath is over, and the Valar's forces has done what they could not, and defeated Morgoth and taken back the silmarills, they are bluntly denied them when they try to claim them from the victorious forces, citing all their very evil deeds.

The two surviving brothers have a debate of what to do. Breaking their oath, or trying to fulfill it, either by once more trying to take them by force, or by going back to valinor and seeking pardon, hoping to once more get back the silmarills not by force of arms, but by showing themselves worthy of them after seeking redemption.

Of course, the first and last option would require actual strength of character, and so the two of them decide to take the two silmarills at hand by force, assuming they will die trying.

However, they are denied that death, and instead the commander, after they slay several of his men, decides to let them go with the silmarils, rather than respond with the death these two probably deserve at this point.

Their prize, as he expected, rejecta both of them.

The holy jewels they started this whole adventure to find, the ones they exterminated people to get, now violently rejects them for their evil deeds and character.

And in one, final set of utter and total showcase of what pathetic men they are, rather than abandoning the gems so that they could be returned to Valinor, they instead ensure that if they cant have them, nobody can.

Maedhras throws himself into a gaping, fiery chasm to ensure that both he and the Silmaril are lost beneath the earth.

Meanwhile Maglor throws his into the sea, to ensure the same thing, only chooses not to take his own life as well.

It is a last, spiteful set of acts that shows that neither of these men ever had the fortitude to do the right thing, and as a consequnce of their horrible oath, it all spiralled to this point, where even if told by the silmarills themselves how evil they have become, they still arent able or willing to do the right thing if it means going against their own oaths.

Because if they did, then that means that absolutely every, single evil, monstrous thing they and their brothers did was conpletely inexcusable, and they dont have the guts to do that.

It takes character to admit that you were wrong, owe up to your mistakes and take responsibility rather than clinging to the justification that brought you down this road to begin with. Or as Tolkien described both himself, his countrymen, and his enemies, all so similar to each other during the first world war.

"We were all Orcs in the great war" - J.R.R Tolkien.

#silmarillion #the silmarillion #feanor #sons of feanor #maedhros #maglor #meta #tolkien's legendarium #j r r tolkien

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magistralucis · 5 months

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Actually I'm not done thinking about this post, thank you @ghostinthegallery for the inspiration. 👀 Motives-wise, Lysikor is the most obscure character in TDK; it's not clear what he wants, other than to steal things and watch Rome burn, and something about him makes the people around him act in unusual ways. It shows most obviously in Oltyx, but also with Unnas and Mentep and all the canopteks he keeps on stealing. I mean, there is no way he ought to have gotten away with the disrespect he showed his world, you know?

Oltyx claims Unnas only spared Lysikor because Unnas was more reasonable at the time (Ruin, Chapter 4). But necron lives are expendable, and many have been killed for doing much less than Lysikor. This dude is ridiculously good at surviving. He repeatedly taps into Oltyx's mind without consent, and those intrusions hardly ever have consequences; he almost fucks up the beginnings of Oltyx's kingship entirely by mentioning The Regicide; of course, he also gets off scot-free at the very end, heavily armed and unafflicted. Why?

My theory is that it has to do with reality. Ithakas is cursed because they tore a hole in reality. In the 9th Edition Codex (pg 11), it's stated that 'the C'tan were bound to reality itself, and so could never be destroyed, only splintered into stunted echoes of their former might' - but they did destroy Llandu'gor, and the Flayer-urge spread from the aftermath, and the Twice-Dead King is about Oltyx's journey to heal what was broken. He has to deny, repair, or move past at least three realities to achieve this ending, and each one is represented by a different character:

Djoseras, for the past reality of Ithakas, when the glory of the dynasty belonged to the stones and not its people. This reality is no longer tenable by the end of Ruin, and Djoseras is killed defending it to the last man.

Mentep, for the present reality of Oltyx, in that he helped cause Ithakas's affliction millions of years ago. Throughout TDK he's trying to atone for what he's done, but the problem with what he's done is that he's made Oltyx paranoid and tyrannical, and his good intentions cannot outmatch the other's violence.

Yenekh (and Zultanekh), for the future reality of the Flayed Ones, the transformative one eventually claimed and shaped by Valgûl's heka. Yenekh gives Oltyx the hope to regrow from the ashes, and Zultanekh validates their new world-order by bearing witness to it. Only after this point are they all somebody, instead of vermin, nobodies, or Nobody (Οὖτις).

Where Lysikor comes in, I think, is the fourth reality: metafiction, the realm outside Oltyx, the Bone Kingdom, or necrons as a concept. Literally the fourth wall. Lysikor knows that he's in a book! His idiosyncrasies make so much more sense if you interpret it as his playing around with tropes. The way he signposts Oltyx's actions with literary devices (e.g. 'the bait's been taken' re: the warboss, describing Oltyx's explanation for Yenekh's exile as a 'story', etc.). How he always manages to steal the exact McGuffin they need. The plan he had to kill Oltyx at the figurative eleventh hour. Of course nothing ever touches him! He literally exists above the narrative!

That too is why he can make nonsense of the order of the world. Lysikor already has his own sense of order, if anything he makes everybody else answer to it. His complete dismissal of heka, Oltyx's and others. The insistence that he be called Duke, which is not an Ithakan title, which he somehow gets people to respect. His cavalier attitude towards stealing as well as giving back. My favourite fourth-wall moment has to be when he answers a question literally nobody asked, the one about the Ithakan serapteks: the last we saw of them was Oltyx witnessing their slow deaths in Chapter 19 of Ruin. So what became of them? Yoinked by Lysikor, of course. 👍

But that's the genius of it. Ithakas has only seven serapteks to spare, and they are the most powerful canopteks there are: 'symbols of dynastic might, reserved for only the most apocalyptic conflicts', as Chapter 11 of Ruin puts it. In a significant sense they are the dynasty. When they pass into Lysikor's possession, it means that he becomes a world unto himself! I think that's why he's as secure with Oltyx as he is: they are supreme leaders, capable of world-shaping heka, just that Lysikor is the only one who knows it for most of TDK. He's forbidden from commanding people, he lives with the figurative animals, as canopteks are ranked slightly above C'tan shards and below all necrons. But what fantastic canopteks! What an army!

Canopteks are often simulacra of beasts pre-biotransference. Lysikor is a simulacrum too, not of beasts but a Synaptic Disintegrator, pointed not at people but into the firmament. He's the perfect deathmark, textually and metatextually, sneakiness and treachery and hyperspace nowhere played dastardly straight. I bet he wasn't even that disappointed Oltyx got away. He analysed Oltyx's character arc carefully and liked what he saw, and it wasn't until Oltyx started bending reality himself that Lysikor was bested. Even that won't be for long. The Twice-Dead King better watch out, eat your heart out, Oltyx, here comes the Twice-Troped Duke 🔫🤪

#warhammer 40k #wh40k #the twice dead king #necrons #oltyx #lysikor #essay #this is way too many words about lysikor lmao i did not intend it to get this long #he's a difficult character to make sense of but that's part of what makes it so entertaining

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whinlatter · 5 months

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author's note: chapter 10: reared & chapter 11: hatched 🐣🎇

thank you for reading chapters 10 and 11 of beasts (and especially for being patient with the bumper doubled up author's note). this time, ginny has a bad new year's eve (attends the world's most triggering party, slops booze down her old love rival, loses to her boyfriend at butterbeer pong) and then an even worse new year's day, featuring boggarts, the hangover from hell, the inevitable consequences of her own actions, and cormac mclaggen. nightmare. if you slog through all this you'll get a sneak peek of chapter 12 so that's my ploy to try and get you to endure my takes on liberal subjecthood and girlhood again. shameless! alright - let's do this.

✨ spoilers for this chapter below the cut ✨

writing notes and headcanons:

parties: i almost called chapter ten party animals. you can be glad that i didn’t. but wow writing parties is hard! you have to keep track on like 30 different attendees! it ends up like choreographing a musical number. and then i had to come up with costumes for all of them AND fun drinks names. nightmare. never again. i only did it to make all the memes

haunted house: ‘they have a house party then ginny gets trapped in the house with both her ex boyfriends, her boyfriend’s ex and also cormac mclaggen’ was a chapter concept i mentally wrote back in february lol. it’s too delicious. i wanted the teenageness of it - the sloppy lazy hangover vibe the day after a house party, but added all these layers of fear and the waiting game with all the left-behind characters. the garden as relief was important, but also the wild overgrownness of it, unmanageable untamed. i have lived in flats in the kinds of london townhouses grimmauld is based on and they very often have these big scooped out brick walled gardens below street level that are just so atmospheric and oasis like but also usually kind of a mess and overgrown. so count this as a love letter to a london garden

ginny and sirius: in these two chapters, the flashbacks are entirely ginny’s memories of sirius black - specifically, of teenage ginny’s attempts to connect with this veteran, someone she canonically cares for and admires, who i think would be something of a god in her eyes, partly because he’s hot/cool/can turn into a dog (slay) but mostly for his enormous self-sacrifice and martyrdom for his friends and for the cause, even before his actual death. i’ve talked about the canon parallels between these two characters in the first of a two part meta here, which lays out my thinking behind sirius and ginny’s relationship as rendered here (ie. sirius would quite like ginny, perhaps see shades of james in her - hence the snitch - but she would always care more about him, and about impressing him, than he ever would about her). one of the most important lines of sirius’ in canon for me is the one he yells at the weasley children the night their father is attacked: they (understandably) just want to go and see their dad, but sirius, as kindly but as firmly as he can, tells them that this is both naive and also counter to what the order of the phoenix exists to do: a resistance organisation that is all about self-sacrifice for the greater good (“This is how it is — this is why you’re not in the Order — you don’t understand — there are things worth dying for!”) through sirius, we learn, ginny began to form a set of ideas about some very important things for her: about how to survive, how to preserve a mind, and about what it means to fight, especially when being held back and deliberately kept out of the fight. all pretty formative in ginny weasley’s book, i’d say. i wanted ginny’s memories of sirius to be very triggered by place, trapped back in this very claustrophobic, very sensorily dense and evocative house. i knew i wanted moments where we have ginny actively drift off into reminiscences in the present timeline (getting caught drifting off fleabag style by ron before the party) or seek out spaces to remember (going into walburga’s bedroom). where previously the flashbacks have been less active and less visible acts of ginny remembering, more standalone cutaways than examples of a character actively going into a memory, it was important to me to start to show memories becoming much more like intrusive thoughts ginny can’t push away as her defensive coping mechanisms come under increasing assault.

animagi: one of the big things ginny first badgers sirius about is how to become an animagus. ginny’s interest in becoming an animagus does, at first, come from a place of childlike awe (especially from an animal lover). but, as ginny eventually hints to sirius, it’s also a reflection of young ginny becoming very interested in possible survival strategies to get out of facing awful memories she’d rather not think about every time a dementor comes to town. she sees sirius becoming the dog as an escape both from literal prison and from the prison of the mind. sirius suggests it’s not quite as simple as that. we’ll be returning to these ruminations in due course….

traitors: as @ashesandhackles’ gift of a question suggests, one of the big themes at work in these chapters, particularly chapter 11, is betrayal and - particularly - the figure of the traitor. as ashes points out, we see a whole lot of traitors mentioned to varying extents (from canon: pettigrew, percy, regulus, sirius himself, marietta, mundungus, kreacher, xenophilius, snape, andromeda…). in c.10 these themes are more dormant, little passing asides (the banality of evil, lol, and geri halliwell betraying the spice girls aka the worst act of treachery in 90s britain). but in c.11, we see the memory of past traitors and the prospect of future ones come to bear: the DA’s interrogation and fear that dean might not be all that he seems, and then rabastan lestrange getting killed by his own brother for, as harry suggests in his analysis of rabastan’s murder, betraying a set of ideas and a worldview that pre-existed voldemort and now survives him. so far in the fic, we’ve seen ginny reflect on questions of the soul as an inherently moral entity, its existence imbuing all who have a soul with the capacity for good, if not compelling them to always do it. here, i wanted to start introducing questions of where the choice to do bad comes from, the big nature vs. nurture, question, because i think this question would not just interest ginny given her own set of experiences (and you can speculate what those might be, because we will be returning to them!), but also because it speaks to a broader set of themes and questions that beasts is trying to expand upon that thread through canon. i don’t want to spoil too much for a future plot point, but needless to say this is a fic that tries to ask questions about selfhood, people’s nature, about motivation, intent, and choices, about childhoods and why people grow up to be who they are and make the choices they make – and also about wizards’ claim of superiority over all other magical beings because they have a monopoly on morality, on conscience, on justice, and therefore, as the most rational, civilised, self-governing political subjects, have the right to make and enforce law over other magical species. the existence of the traitor, for these characters who made moral choices to resist during a war fought over right and wrong, is a fascinating litmus test for any society grappling with the enforcement of justice, what it means to try to do good, and the circumstances under which people choose not to do good - as kingsley’s speech at the end of c.11 suggests, what it is in a person’s development that might lead them in one moral direction or another. “is this who we are?” kingsley asks, and the answer really might be: yes, actually.

the girls’ getting dressed: a) it’s literally always the best bit of any party and b) yes it’s important that hermione granger not just looked hot but wanted to, and that her and ginny had the first meaningful conversation they’ve had with each other while they’re pulling on hoe fits and doing sleakeazy treatments. female friendship arc engaged. also nymphadora tonks just definitely had hot cool 90s clubbing fits don’t know what to tell you (recs below)

the DA: what was fun about writing the party, though, was getting to try and show ginny among her fellow soldiers, and, especially, harry getting to see it. we know that canon ginny is popular and well liked by her classmates pre the war, but the experience of the DA under the carrows (as future flashbacks will show…) would be an intense bonding experience for many, and, i think, of the three leaders (neville, luna, ginny), it would be ginny that would become perhaps the most important emotionally to her fellow soldiers on the basis of her personality, compassion and empathy. in these chapters, you see those who *were* at hogwarts during the war have their guard up, exercise stiff safety procedures, and those that *weren’t* - especially harry - start to clock how much the war changed the DA from duelling fight club to a resistance organisation with military capabilities and procedures. what this means for hinny, of course, is harry, knowing that ginny is keeping things from him, starting to put together that that persecution and torture neville spoke breezily about in the hog’s head tunnel that time might actually have been, er, real, and that ginny might have had her own direct experiences of it that she hasn’t shared with him…

the slytherins: @titaniasthings sent me this ask ages ago about slytherins and i very rudely banked the ask to talk about another day. and i'm not even going to answer it now! i am hugely sorry about that, but i will answer it in due course, so this is me publicly apologising and basically promising to get back to this question, because i think it’s both very interesting and also one of the weakest points of canon that fanfiction can help right in really interesting and productive ways. for now, let me just say theo nott and daphne greengrass’ presence at the party is me flagging that i DO think there are ways that slytherins would have engaged with the DA and with resistance during the war, for lots of different motivations, and look forward to developing this further as this lovely little inquiry gets underway…

deamus: is this deamus or is it dean/rio ferdinand (unrequited)? who’s to say

cormac mclaggen: yes everyone is under attack from a renegade bunch of vigilante wannabe death eaters but you should never let that stop you from going to pound town

cho and ginny: me, posting a sneak peek that looked like it was ginny dialogue but it was actually from cho… 😈

i’ve talked a bit about my thoughts on cho and ginny’s relationship elsewhere, and had this scene written for ages, because i a) think it’s funny when surprising characters call the protagonist out on their shit and impart the most useful wisdom (michael and cho have both played this part so far lol) and b) i wanted ginny’s insecurities about cho, which are understandable but come from a place of teenage rivalry and are quite juvenile, to have to give way to something more mature between them, as part of a coming of age growing up arc. in c 10 we get their petty interactions, judging each other for their outfits, clearly frosty, but in c 11, we see ginny and cho accidentally have probably the most important conversation ginny's had with anyone in ages. ginny has to face up to the fact that since 1995, cho chang has grieved and lived with a reality that ginny fears enormously - the death of the boy she loves - and also all the repercussions that came with it, including the impact of it on her own quidditch ambitions. the cho we see has done a lot of work on her own grief and now has a remarkably healthy reflection on what it is to grow up and to both forgive yourself and release yourself from dreams you had as a child, while also recognising it’s ok to mourn the future you hoped you’d have when life gets in the way. for hinny purposes, i also wanted the memory of cho’s distress and harry’s inability to handle it to resurface before the hinny fight, because i think cho’s weepiness and attempt to ask harry for emotional support would be pretty influential on ginny’s decision to try to avoid doing that at all costs. (ashes also pulled out my agenda behind the cho changing in front of ginny moment: “the difference of Cho's comfort with changing in front of people i.e women vs Ginny - it shows how differently each have built friendships and at what stage in their lives”. cho chang had close female friends before ginny or hermione really ever did and it shows!

rodolphus lestrange: ‘a huge day for rodolphus nation’ - aka just @saintsenara. i have never bought the idea that rodolphus is pure flop and bellatrix is the instigator in their marriage for them joining the death eaters - my personal take is that the lestranges are the gateway for the black sisters being drawn into the orbit of death eaterdom, and am especially a fan of a big age gap between bellatrix and rodolphus, meaning that rodolphus was in the first wave of death eaters/voldemort’s school gang or at the very least an early follower, and that that’s how bellatrix gets drawn from low key pureblood supremacist politics of the black family into the paramilitary activities of the death eaters. i *like* the idea of death eaters who aren’t just thugs for hire but have a real political worldview and a programme that they will continue to pursue after voldemort’s death, and am excited to explore that in the fic (and what it means for plans for postwar reform and societal rebuilding). slay from roddy, basically

ginny’s boggart: thank you to this lovely anon both for the regulus-ginny parallels note and also for asking about ginny's boggart! i am however going to be an arsehole and stay zipped lip on this one for now (we will find out i swear), but just for now to say: i wanted the boggart to both add atmosphere and a lovely sense of oppressive dread (hiding in a broken clock, a forever waiting game), but also ginny’s inability to bring herself to draw it out and face it to be a sign of her struggling to force herself to process dark memories that are proving stubbornly haunting…

the hinny fight: you all have had the patience of saints waiting for this scene fr. pls know this fight took me absolutely bloody ages to write lmao. fights are hard when you want people to be flawed but neither person really be in the wrong! here we have ginny, finally letting out seven years of resentment at being left out, patronised, and over-protected: harry, calling her on the fact that she’s clearly trying to protect him from things that really bothering her, letting her know how hurt he is that she’s excluded him from her ongoing ordeal - but also, in getting her to finally tell the truth, having to face up to the thing he hasn’t wanted to face up to, the possibility of ginny’s enormous sufferings during the war that he literally broke up with her, naively, to try to avoid. it’s a long scene – 4k words lol - but i really wanted the fight to have distinct stages, a crescendo, a cooling off period, building ultimately to a quiet moment of confession from both characters. harry finally says out loud what ginny has become to him, his fears about what happened to sirius happening to her, how lost he feels in a world where he is no longer the chosen one, and the hopes he has for him and ginny as a little family around which he wants to build a future amid uncertainty about literally everything else. ginny finally admits what it is in her past that has shaped how much she is prepared to trust and confess to another person about her fears. and so we leave them having finally aired out things that needed to be said, but lacking direction about how to resolve them. they’ve got work to do, baby (and i’m super excited to share how they’re going to do it). will be posting part 2 of the sirius and ginny meta v soon, which discusses in more depth how the memory of sirius, and especially of his death, influences harry’s ideas about familial love and especially his overprotectiveness when it comes to ginny. stay tuned for that. it’ll be real sad, sorry!

harry left holding all of his eggcups once ginny’s gone back to school:

songs from the playlist for these chapters:

i would personally like to take this opportunity to call out ginny weasley for having such a sad adolescence that i had to write about it and listen to phoebe bridgers the entire time and therefore fuck up my spotify wrapped. that is all

the songs for chapter ten (party party party) are wall to wall bangers. two tribes, with siren, right before the auror alarms go off! yesssss. also slow show is the most romantic song ever written about a party and a person’s dick (‘standing at the punch table swallowing punch’, ‘you know i dreamed about you/i missed you for 29 years/before i saw you):

playing around before the party starts by childish gambino | i predict a riot by the kaiser chiefs | paint it black by the rolling stones | two tribes - we don’t want to die version by frankie goes to hollywood | slow show by the national

the songs for chapter eleven are much more subdued, quiet (hangover-proof), songs for a waiting game. the mitski song is this chapter's manifesto and also is the harry-sirius-ginny arc anthem, i will not be persuaded otherwise (you're an angel, i'm a dog/or you're a dog and i'm your man/you believe me like a god/i'll destroy you like I am). i wanted duets, too, especially men and women duetting together, to echo the conversations that happen across both of these chapters (between sirius and ginny, dean and ginny, and then harry and ginny). and had to have auld lang syne cos it’s bloody new year for GOD’s sake:

ps. the new beyonce song could easily be harry to the DA at the end of chapter 11. get the fuck out of my house!!!

reading list:

on tonks being a hot girl with party streak and a wardrobe that is major:

Leather by @saintsenara/asenora (self-rec! embarrassing!) dead ends by whinlatter

on dean and his mum:

Lifelike by @evesaintyves

on sirius and grimmauld place:

Toys in the Attic by @ashesandhackles and thecat_iswriting Lux Aurumque by @saintsenara/asenora

on peter pettigrew:

All I ever wanted was a life in your shape by saptashati

on cho chang:

overemotional: in defense of cho chang by dirgewithoutmusic

plus the smallest of sneak peeks of chapter 12, coming in january...

They're different, his letters. She knew they would be, though it doesn't make it hurt any less.

#beasts #author's note #all i do in these author's notes is say: wait and see #because i am: annoying!#sorry for the sneak peek i know you said you wanted COMFORT but i'm afraid i only heard HURT #hinny #sirius black #cho chang #peter pettigrew #wizarding politics #meta #hp meta #analysis #ginny weasley

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