#suna rintarō x reader angst

[sukirichi]

[ DUSK ‘TILL DAWN : 007 ]

“we who bear the burden of the crown do not need to love. you only need to stay here, with me, in power, in greed, in lust – in victory.”

c/w. modern royal au. infidelity. angst. gaslighting. toxic characters. suggestive. toxic relationships. mentions of neglect and abuse. hurt and comfort. it’s cringy when suna calls us ‘my love.’ half heartedly edited.

notes. this chapter is dedicated to all my fellow oikawa fuckers, enjoy <33 i’m really in love with how deep his character can be like lowkey he has more personality (as of now) than rintaro lol

series masterlist | next

[ SEVEN ] i know you don’t really see my worth. you think you’re the last guy on earth, well, i’ve got news for you. i know i’m not that strong, but it won’t take long

 “Would you stop pacing?” Prince Tooru reprimanded. His wife, the ever-so-sweet Maiko, jumped a little at the sting of his voice. She was no longer an alien to his harshness, nor was it anything new for her the way he sent daggers her direction. “It’s an eyesore.”

“My apologies, Your Highness. I just... I’m extremely worried for the Princess.”

The Prince kept flicking through the television. However, behind his uncaring facade, he shared the same sentiments as her. Everyone would be lying if they said the entire manor hadn’t been deadly quiet the entire night, save for the hushed whispers between your servants appalled by Rintaro’s display. Tooru was actually impressed they hadn’t called your parents by now. Your servants watched you grow up and had been loyal to your family for years, yet not a single one of them stopped the Crown Prince from dragging their precious Princess like she was nothing but prey. Then again, Tooru mused, maids from a noble family would never go against the crown.

“You heard what Kiyoomi said. The Princess wants space, and Suna will not let us step a foot outside either. We have no choice but to await her return.”

“Would she even return?”

Hearing the scuffle of her feet rubbing against the carpet one more time, Tooru dragged a palm down his face. “Look. I cannot answer your questions, so can we please just go to sleep?” Sleep, of course, meaning that Prince Tooru enjoyed the luxury of your guest room’s king-sized bed while his wife remained on the couch. Hell, he was kind enough to share the same room as her.

Unbothered by the Prince’s nonchalance, Maiko gazed at her feet and fiddled with her fingers.

“Your Highness, I-I know this sounds far-fetched of me, but would you grant me a small favour? I promise I would repay you generously—”

“If you offer to leave me the fuck alone for a month, I might consider it.”

Maiko’s head snapped up. Her husband held no trace of remorse on his face as he pulled the blankets under his chin, handsome as usual—as all the Princes were—even with his eyes peacefully closed. Such a sight made him look unbelievably gentle with the way soft, brown strands of hair brushed over his forehead. And Maiko, poor Maiko who never learned, had no choice but to swallow her pride and give in to the Prince’s request. Whether it was because she had been in love him with him for the longest time and this was the first, possibly last, chance he would ever hear out, Maiko prioritized your well-being over anything else.

“I...Of course, Your Highness. If it is what you wish.”

Tooru raised a brow in disbelief, eyes narrowed at his wife’s sagging shoulders. Just like that? Ah, but he wasn’t complaining. “Fine. What do you want?”

“Please find the Princess. O-Or at least check up on her, talk to her or something. Anything would be of great help as long as she knew she does not have to face this alone. The Princess is having a hard time and it breaks my heart to imagine she is all by herself—”

“Why don’t you go yourself if you care so badly?”

“Because...” Maiko frowned, “If the Crown Prince catches me, I am done for. He might be far more merciful to you considering you are his brother.”

“That is hilarious,” Tooru couldn’t hold back a guffaw. “You think Rintaro would be less bothered if his brother sought out his damsel in distress of a wife? Oh, how gold. Has it not crossed your mind that Rintaro is oddly possessive over his wife? He thinks either Kiyoomi and I will snag her up.”

“But you will not, so—”

“What if I did, hm?” he challenged. Instantly, Maiko held her breath, awaiting the threat—or rather the possibility—that Tooru didn’t jester. He had always made it clear how he didn’t want her. Expressing at any opportunity he could take about his desire to have had the privilege to choose who he could have been married to, and Maiko knew exactly what he was doing. The Prince, just like now, was simply reminding her the consequences of her actions. But she must have been a true masochist as she remained mum in her spot the longer he continued, sitting up now and tilting his head with a smirk. “The Princess is gorgeous. I could easily choose her over you any day, so let me ask—would you still want me to find her and lend her a shoulder to cry on?”

Be strong, Maiko—was what she must be thinking. And honestly? Tooru thought it was complete, utter bullshit. She could plant her feet on the ground as solidly as she could, but he refused to have his bones buried next to hers.

Maiko had already taken his life.

He should choose his own death now, and if that meant slowly driving a dagger deep into her heart and carving out his to place into the mercy of your hands—because god forbid, you would be death of everyone someday—then Tooru would have no regrets. To have his fate intertwined with yours, whether the outcome may be bitter or would shatter him to pieces, would be honourable. A heaven in comparison to the hell bowing his head at him right now.

“We are family now, Your Highness. She needs us.”

“I take that as a yes?” Tooru mocked. He didn’t wait for her response as he was swiping his car keys off the counter the next second, his jacket shrugged on and halfway out the door before he sang, “As you wish, my dear.”

There are some things Tooru would never admit out loud. One, how he grew up closest to Kiyoomi and Keiji out of their shared love for literature, and that those two brothers of his held one of his most embarrassing secrets on how Tooru loved romantic novels. Jane Austen? He personally booked a theatre all for himself just to watch the film adaptations of her works. Margaret Mitchell? Tooru had handmade notebooks buried deep within his study filled with his favourite lines from her in perfect cursive; the younger version of him fantasizing about what it felt like to yearn for somebody your being felt incomplete without them. Two, how grateful he was deep down that Maiko had asked him to find you, because truth be told, only Rintaro got in his way. He would have ran after you hours ago the moment his bastard brother returned to the manor without his wife in tow. But appearances must be kept, trouble must be avoided if it provided more conflict than entertainment, and looking at it now, Tooru didn’t quite regret his previous actions.

The pitch-black sky felt more comforting than haunting as he pulled out of the driveway and headed to town. Maiko informed him you were at your family’s bed and breakfast, quite possibly asleep, but fuck it, right? Tooru convinced himself he wasn’t doing this for his wife. Never for Maiko, but not quite for you, either. Other than having a miserably pretty face that wasn’t as adored as it should be, and a heart bigger than Maiko was capable of, Tooru came to a conclusion he was doing it for himself.

Yes, he was simply a bored prince. Dragged into the edge of the country with no phones to use since Maiko would just snoop around, and Rintaro didn’t help with the situation by driving everybody apart. Even Kiyoomi seemed more of a bore than usual. So yes, Tooru was fetching you for his own gain, because surely listening to a broken hearted woman weep about her woes sounded far more entertaining than pretending to be asleep back at the manor.

No. He did not care about you at all.

He does not care one bit as he found you minutes later, sulking like a little child on the swings under an old sycamore tree whose leaves danced amongst the wind. He would admit, however, that you were undeniably beautiful. You always had been.

With a fresh face that granted him the luxury of seeing how crestfallen, forlorn eyes could remain dull under the moonlight’s gleam, Tooru tightened his grip on the scotch bottle. He wondered how sadness could look so beguiling on someone—whatnot with the lines of your frown and the absence of light you usually emanated. You sat there unaware of his presence looming overhead of you before you kicked and up high you flew. Skirt flowing at the same time you finally turned your head to look up at the sky, eyes glistening with tears and kissable lips quivering with slow, shuddered breaths he knew held back a sob. Tooru couldn’t help but find it befitting how you would one day hold power over everyone, because you were capable of breaking hearts. You could ruin kingdoms and tear everything apart. Yet, Tooru also knew how gentle you could be. He had shared enough family dinners with you to grow envious—no matter if he was aware they were all a sham—with the way you and Rintaro would share knowing smiles with each other like you both spoke a secret language exclusive only for those who had experienced falling in love.

Was this why Rintaro was so adamant in keeping you?

Had his brother even looked at you this way?

You made princes like him who grew up skilled in the arts of swordsmanship and combat weak in the knees. All you had to do was keep kicking your feet and fly higher up in the air and Tooru wouldn’t have argued if somebody told him he saw a fairy that night. A fairy who shed tears for a man unworthy of it. A fairy who mourned for a love that was never hers and whose cries were as muted as the dumbfounded Prince tracing the shape of your lips with his eyes and wonders, what would his name sound like if you whispered it to his ears? Would it feel biblical if Tooru could also share a secret language with you and murmur it into the crevices of your palm in a promising kiss, or would your words curse him into a thoughtless follower who walked into his own demise? You would be his Queen, after all. You would be the one he would fight for his life with, and whose wishes would become his command—his only good reason for living.

“Fuck,” Tooru muttered under his breath as he leant against his car. He could already feel his heart pounding. And for what? The spine-chilling realization of—or more like could no longer deny—that he found his brother’s wife mesmerizing? “Fuck you, Rintaro. I don’t wanna be like you. I’m not stealing anybody’s wife.”

Tooru chanted those words in his head like a mantra.

He needed more than a bottle of alcohol to get him through the night without accidentally blurting anything stupid, which he was certain was the last thing you needed. Tonight, you needed a friend. You needed someone with genuine intentions after being cruelly dragged into a make believe story of Prince meets Beauty, only to wake up with an unfortunate twist of Beauty and the Beast where happy endings didn’t exist when Rintaro was the Beast through and through.

Tonight, you would not be Prince and Princess.

Tooru would come as himself, and with a clear of his throat, plastered on his infamous smirk. “The night is too good to spend alone, Your Highness. I am quite certain no lovely woman would envision their honeymoon to turn out this way.”

You halted your body from swinging up.

Eyes widening at the sight of the Fifth Prince in nothing but sleepwear and a coat, your mouth falls open. You must have remembered you were now a Princess and had to act properly in front of a royal blood that you sat up straight. The action had Tooru sucking in a sharp breath before making himself comfortable on the swing beside you, opting to stare out in the vast fields because his chest was fluttering at the look on your face. How relieved you seemed upon seeing him. Like he was your hero even if he was far from having heroic attributes, and Tooru bit the insides of his cheeks.

He loathed how that passing moment made him feel important and brought a tint to his cheeks.

“Your Highness,” you began, “Wh-What brings you here?”

“To comfort a certain lonely Princess,” he winked, and you respond with a surprised squeak. “What? Can’t believe that the most handsome Prince is now your knight in shining armour? Don’t flatter yourself, though. This will not be a daily occurrence and—”

“Thank you.” Ducking your head, you stare at your lap, and Tooru patiently waited for you to continue speaking. He could see your eyes water as you swallow audibly, “I...I did not think anyone would bother to come find me, much less you, my Prince. Out of everybody, I thought you might have cared the least, but forgive me for I was mistaken.”

“Well,” he shrugged, “Not everyone is as heartless as Rintaro. Not your fault too that you thought of me that way.”

The both of you share a knowing smile—his telling you that you would be alright, and you reciprocating a thankful one. A comfortable silence settled after that. None of you found the need to talk about anything when Tooru wasn’t the best at comforting, and you were more than satisfied for the company. It shocked him, though, how he unexpectedly ended up playing in the swings with his brother’s wife at three in the morning, surrounded by nothing but grass and the faint sounds of crickets chirping. The wind would occasionally hum, and so did you.

The intimate beginning of a core memory felt like a scene straight out of a novel, but Tooru knew better. As much as he cherished this moment of sharing a silence with somebody in a world filled with people demanding for answers and explanations, Tooru understood this moment would not last. He had to remind himself he wasn’t your Prince. You weren’t his Princess. You were both just royals stripped of their titles until they were reduced to nothing but humans at their rawest form—a Princess with a disloyal husband, a broken heart and pride, and him as a Prince who didn’t quite knew where he belonged. At least, Tooru knew his place, and maybe that was why it felt a bit wrong to be the one next to you this moment. You were newly married and should be having this emotional intimacy with your husband. Not his brother. It was a constant fight of push and pull in his brain of wanting to be greedy and have more for this, whatever the fuck this was, whatever the fuck it meant now that you were smiling to yourself without saying anything, but Tooru chose to be the bigger person and stop kicking his feet.

“Say,” he scrunched his nose, “The town is dead, and you look like you have a lot to get off your chest. What do you say about a drive up the hill? You can scream as much as you want there.”

“Scream? Why would I scream?”

“Curse out Rintaro. I do that a lot when he gets on my nerves.”

When you laughed at his words, Tooru had to stop himself from getting too ahead of himself. Surely, it didn’t mean anything at all that he just made a pretty Princess laugh, even if your laugh was so airy and sounded so nice he would have taken full credit of doing a job well done for being a temporary friend.

“That does not sound too bad. In fact, I know a spot.”

The spot being a ten minute walk up the hill, far enough to be hidden from the prying gaze despite everybody being asleep but close enough that Tooru could retrace the steps back to the town in fear you would get lost again. Not that he had to worry. You were already steps ahead of him, shoes looped into your fingers as your toes dug into the bare earth—the very spitting image of a woman he couldn’t have most with sparkling hair pins keeping the strands kissed by the wind at bay.

Right. He needed to look away.

You were not his to appreciate.

“How did you find me, Prince Tooru?” you asked when you’d both settled next to each other, knees slightly brushing with every relaxed move.

Prying his eyes away from your fingers spreading to let the blades of grass peek through the spaces, Tooru raised a shoulder. Stop, he chastised himself. Do not muse about how strong the soil must be that night to carry the unspoken sorrows that weighed heavier than earth itself. Do not put yourself into the shoes birthed with a responsibility you were not man enough to step in on.

“Let’s just say that my wife and I never really went to the shop centres. That was nothing but a lame excuse we had to tell her parents. Instead, I roamed around this lovely town of yours and wished earlier that this might as well be my spot—but of course, this has always been yours, isn’t it?” he attempted to lighten the mood, “You have a lovely view from here.”

While his view from his bedroom, up north in the Inarizaki Tower, granted him the vision of a god who saw all from the citizens rising early in the morning to mill about for work to children laughing as they chased each other outside their parents’ humble, little shops, nothing could have compared to the serenity of Greenville. Miles and miles of land rich with flowers and fruitful trees laid home to rows of grapevines; its scent so addicting the Prince might as well have gotten drunk from a single whiff. The land stretched overhead until the peak of the mountains along the edge allowed room for the sun to stretch its arms out in a few hours’ time. Crickets chirped. The wind sang a lullaby that put the people to sleep, and he had you next to him. Close enough he might have plucked out the flower tempting him nearby with its dulcet beauty and humorously recite you poetry like he was your lover if that would make you smile.

Unfortunately, you didn’t share the same sentiments as him. “I doubt anything could be lovely from now on.”

“Don’t let my brother get to you.”

“That is easy for you to say,” you exhaled, “You and your brothers all the same. We, as wives, never meant anything significant to your hearts. You throw us to the side away like we are lesser than dust. I doubt you could even understand my pain when you are clearly incapable of being a good husband with the inability to feel love.”

Biting back his tongue to ask “don’t you want to prove me wrong about that?”, Tooru blew a low whistle. “You don’t pull your punches, do you? That is harsh.”

“Well, I see no need to coddle you, my Prince. You are a grown man who needs to realize his own disgusting flaws.”

At any other day, Tooru would’ve taken the unnecessary projection of your own heartbreak out to him with disdain, but today was different. For his own entertainment, he would be a little kinder. A little more patient. So he let it slide, and masked his confused heart with the one thing he had perfected—the all-too-confident smile that made men and women weak in the knees. The smile that brought him to where he is now, married and unhappy.

“Oh, there is no need, Princess. I am more than well aware of what makes me terrible,” he admitted, “What my brother did was wrong. There is no excuse for his behaviour, but you must understand—this is all very common to us now. Rintaro was able to deceive you like that because he had seen it with his own eyes; how marriages needed to be successful politically but never romantically, and once he has a goal in mind, nothing is stopping him from achieving that,” it was more of a warning than a reminder, and Tooru snuck a glance to confirm if you understood where he was going. “Do not take it personally, Princess. Rintaro would have been a liar either way whether it was you or not that he first laid his eyes on.”

“Is that supposed to comfort me?”

“I am shit at comforting others—” a laugh was pulled from him before the Prince steals the bottle from your hands and takes a swig. “—but I do sincerely hope you stop crying now.”

His words had the opposite effect. Not even past the neck of the bottle, you choked before him in a fit of sniffles and sobs. Eyes puffy and red, lips wobbly and fingers angrily wiping away at the tears you desperately tried to conceal from his stupefied gaze. “What do you care whether I cry or not?”

Out of instinct, Tooru’s arm reached out to stop you from pinching your cheeks.

Slapped by logic, on the other hand, his arm retreated by itself because he was only here to comfort, not to reassure. And bound by the foolishness that was called the never-learning vulnerable heart, Tooru found himself in the middle of heaven and hell as he sighs. “Believe it or not, Princess, but I do care,” was his confession, though before you could ponder too much about it, the Prince was already hogging the scotch. “Implausible, is it not? But I do not blame you for it. I know I seem unable to care about others when I hate my own wife, even if she has been nothing but an angel to me.”

“So you know Princess Maiko adores you. Why do you not treat her with the same kindness, then?”

Princess Maiko again. It always had to circle back to her.

“She annoys me. She clings to me like an obsessed leech and demands affection when she knows I have no interest in reciprocating it,” he scoffed, “It is for her own good, though. There is no point to fool herself we can be happy together when I never wanted to be married. It is better to break her heart from the beginning than be sweet to her and get her hopes up.” The Prince held no room for argument. Palms leaning back on the grass, he extends his leg and crosses them as he glares at the sky like the darkness caused all this trouble. “No idea what anybody told you, but Princess Maiko and I were not married under the Queen’s choice. It was Maiko’s.”

“Princess Maiko...proposed to you?”

“Something like that. Maiko is a year younger than me, and naturally, since our families had close connections to each other, I grew up treating her like my little sister. She was always clumsy and stupid that I feared she’d get into trouble if not properly watched over. Little did I know that my concern for her would grow into being lovesick, and next thing I know, she is begging with the Queen to marry me. One thing led to another, the Queen saw potential in our union, and now here we are.”

“You make it sound like you had no choice in this, yet you still let her walk down that aisle. Are you sure you are not just using the Queen as an excuse?”

“If I did not marry Maiko, the Queen would have kicked me out the palace.”

“That is legal?”

Tooru wore a face that said beats me. “When there are too many Princes in a patriarchal monarchy, there will be hierarchy among our worth. The First Prince is already worthy to remain in the family as the eldest heir, and then Rintaro is the only child of the King and Queen. Prince Shinsuke will never have to worry about not being Prince when his mother plays a large role in the Kingdom as one of their best lawyers. The twins, too, come from a wealthy mother whose chain of businesses greatly benefits the palace. The youngest, Prince Tobio, is naturally adored by everybody else. He is given everything without having to ask for it. But the rest of us? We have to fight for our place in the dinner table. My clan is not exactly on good terms with the royal family, either.”

“But did you not say you did not care about being Prince?”

“I don’t. The duties of a Prince wears me out and I hate having to put on a facade all the time, but I have no place where I belong in,” his voice grew somber, the tips of his ears tinting red at the realization he was actually being vulnerable to someone who wasn’t his brother. Hell, he didn’t even trust his brothers anymore the night titles mattered more than familial bond, yet here he was. “My mother... her family does not accept me because she was a married woman who had me after having an affair with the King, and the King never looked at me once when I was born. He merely had me to establish ties with the Oikawa Clan, but when he realized my maternal grandparents barely recognized me as their own, I was useless to him. So as much as I despise being a Prince, it is the only way I can actually live. If not for my title, I would have already been sent to the streets.”

Tooru was quietly begging whatever gods looked down on him that you wouldn’t look at him with pity. The last thing he wanted was to be pitiful.

Sneaking a glance after a split second decision dissolved his worries, because you were far from seeing him as less. No, you glanced at him more out of curiosity. Like if he allowed you to give it more thought, you could magically have a solution. “Then...if you are not that important to them despite being an heir to one of three founding clans, why could Prince Kiyoomi not be important, as well? He is the Second Prince. Is that why he married Princess Iris—to ensure his title of a Prince?”

“Nobody knows why Iris and Kiyoomi got married, and neither will anyone of them talk about it. None of us were even invited to their wedding. We just woke up the next day and found out our brother had gotten married with minimal preparations, but it was all over the news. The Kingdom ate their marriage and claimed it to be a firmer peace treaty over Inarizaki and Itachiyama.”

You hid a sniffle.

“...How long has Prince Suna and Princess Iris been together?”

Tooru believed it was best you knew less. But the look on your face begged, pleaded to have that certain itch scratched that Tooru had to give in. “They met when they were in high school,” he supplied, albeit hesitantly, “Iris was a scholar of the royal family as her mother was a loyal follower of the Queen despite being born in Itachiyama, and Iris was an intelligent girl. They hit it off ever since, but drifted apart due to obvious reasons. Then they met again right after the wedding, and have been inseparable ever since.”

God. He really shouldn’t have said it. He had barely finished speaking before you pulled your knees up to your chest, head buried between your legs and sobs stifled in the eerie silence. “Oh my god. I look like a fool, don’t I? They’ve known each other forever.”

“None of this was your fault, Princess. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

“It was my fault, though. I-I knew all this time,” you were full on sobbing by now. “I found out the night we announced our engagement. Ever since that day, I knew whatever we had was never real, but I proceeded with the wedding anyway because I hoped he would still look at me the same way. D-Do you have any idea how much it hurts to learn that you were never loved in the first place?”

Your voice cracked with every sharp breath. Fingers lifting to dig into your scalp deep enough the skin turned raw, and Tooru was immediately peeling your hands away from yourself. “Princess, breathe. Do not hurt yourself—”

“It kills me, Your Highness. I have never felt this pathetic before.”

“Princess...”

“I can’t stop looking in the mirror and find a warped reflection of myself staring back,” you wail and flick his arm away, like the thought of being touched by someone else repulsive. “Every day, I see nothing but my flaws and insecurities and think, is this why he doesn’t love me? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not good enough? Will I never compare to Iris? I feel so horribly ugly and disgusted of my own skin.”

“Don’t think that. You’re beautiful.”

“His Highness said otherwise—”

“My brother is fucking stupid for taking you for granted. If you were mine, I would have never made you feel like you were not good enough.”

Your head slowly turns to face him, the previous sobs now dwindling into little sniffles, but Tooru was already looking away. Downing his wine before you could say anything else. Drinking fast enough his brain felt muddled and there was an ache forming at the back of his head, but anything. Anything to escape the prying eyes wet with tears as the confession settled into the air.

He either fucked it up, or started a new chapter along the way.

The sound of you crying harder again brought him no answer.

“I w-wish...he thought the same way.”

What did it all mean? This moment... when you looked at him now, clinging to whatever hope was left in your love struck heart. When you looked at him now, smile flattened upon the mutual understanding that maybe this was what it meant. Not quite friendship, not quite partnership, not quite acquaintances—but the gentle promise that when the castle and its burdens grew too suffocating, you would have the Fifth Prince to run to out of the thousand others living under the grand halls of royalty. And if you had even the slightest inkling that perhaps Tooru might be growing too warm in a cold night, he was comforted enough by the fact you and him were as impossible as him and his wife.

Whatever attraction he held for you simply had to die. Whatever happened tonight stays within this spot closest to the stars in a quiet town called Greenville.

“Let him go,” was all Tooru could offer before his hand covered yours—that silly smile returning on his face again as if to say the pain would pass. “He’s stupid, anyway.”

“Right.” Finally, fucking finally, you smile brighter than he ever could. “He is stupid.”

“What the fuck were you doing with my wife?”

No good thing ever lasted. It was a fact Tooru learned the hard way, and had to relearn once more when he brought you back ‘home.’ After an hour and a half more of sharing jokes that slowly, the both of you were forming your own secret language Rintaro would not be a part of, you decided to loosen up a bit and steal the rest of his drink. Well, he brought it for you, but he didn’t quite expect you to rummage around his own hidden stash in the car of flasks, only to be giggling and practically dead weight in his arms later on.

It was good until it lasted.

It was good until he showed up. Tooru hadn’t stopped scowling since your husband bundled you in his jacket and held you like you were a fragile woman in need of care. Sure, you could be, but if Rintaro knew it all along, why hadn’t he been more careful since the beginning? Tooru hated inconsistency. Hated lying out of everything—all of the traits his younger brother was an expert of.

It was absolutely revolting how he immediately took on the role of a concerned husband and carried you to bed when you passed out in his arms—like he hadn’t been the reason you felt the need to drink yourself to such a state.

“Only what you should have done.”

Rintaro grabbed him by the collar, their eyes levelled but neither giving in. “Don’t mess with me, Tooru. You think I don’t know what you’re doing, huh? Making my wife warm up to you so you can mess up everything I worked hard for?”

“I didn’t do shit. You ruined everything by yourself and you know it.”

“You still had no business going after her like that.”

“Are you fuckin’ serious?” gritting his teeth, Tooru shoved Rin back hard enough his back hit the doorframe. Although the impact didn’t cause too much of a sound, he still glanced your way to see if you had awoken before lowering his voice. “Your wife cried for hours. She could barely breathe well from how overwhelmed she is, and what were you doing? Oh, that’s right. Fucking your mistress while your wife wondered over and over again just what made her so unworthy of love in your eyes. It’s actually pathetic that such an amazing woman would shed these much tears over a man who can’t even tell her the truth about his malicious nature!”

Rintaro snickered, and it took all of Tooru’s patience to not punch his brother.

“Since when have you cared about the Princess?”

“Maybe we all do, Rintaro! Maybe every single one of us is tired that you and your mother are the exact same—you do nothing but manipulate people for your own gain and then wonder why your lives are so miserable! Your wife loves you, Rin. She would forgive you at the blink of an eye but it does not give you the right to abuse her kindness.”

“That is hypocritical coming from you. You talk as if you do not neglect your wife and leave her crying, too.”

“Maiko, Maiko, it’s always about stupid, fucking Maiko!” he fumed, “Don’t fucking pit me with you, asshole. You courted Princess Y/N for two years and had no intention of coming clean about your sins. Everybody knows I never wanted this marriage. It was Maiko who bound me with these shackles because she was obsessed with me!”

Rintaro was at a loss of words.

He, too, knew that in some way, Tooru had been better. Tooru had always been consistent over his disapproval of the marriage, and had no choice but to accept it in order to survive the harsh environment of the palace. But did Rintaro care?

Obviously not.

“Go back home. I don’t need you here.”

Tooru scoffed. “If it brings you any comfort—” with his back turned to his brother, he glared at him one last time on the way out. “I didn’t come here of my own volition. It was Maiko who requested me to go. Nobody’s out here stealing who isn’t theirs.” An excuse, a valid reason, a half truth—call it what you wanted. Tooru wasn’t sure himself either which one of it he truly meant when he could still smell your perfume all over him on the drive back to the manor.

At one point in your life, you became a Princess before you married a Prince.

It happened that one fateful night. Where elites, nobles, royals, and all the important figures in the world gathered in a grandiose castle in celebration of a Prince’s eighteenth birthday. Naturally, as the daughter of two of the trusted followers of the throne, you had been invited. You could still picture it all clearly—the weeks ahead of preparation despite being a guest who would most likely befriend the shadows and be accompanied by the walls until the party ended. Still, your mother insisted you be dressed to the nines. Calling out for the best dressmakers to travel to Inarizaki with the sole purpose of transforming you into—as what your mother called —“a butterfly who attracted attention, but would be out of reach.”

You were close to telling your mother she would return home from the party disappointed. Unless she could accept you were more of a moth who clung to the unknown corners.

Not that you thought lowly of yourself, but you preferred the term... realistic. Yes, realistic was what you were. You simply accepted the fact you weren’t the prettiest, the most sociable, nor the most interesting woman to ever be attending these balls. Perhaps only slightly above average all thanks to the respectable status and money you were born with, but otherwise not as dreamy as your mother painted you out to be.

See, you weren’t the best dancer. Your mother had given up halfway into dancing classes once she realized you were a lost cause. Little did the both of you know, that from that night onwards, the young woman who had two left feet would someday master the art of dancing all to impress a certain Prince who wouldn’t stop looking at her that night.

His name was Suna Rintaro—the Crown Prince by birth.

And you had caught his eye.

In fact, you must have captured his entire attention and bewitched his whole being that he was unable to take his eyes off of you and pushed through the crowd, all to ask for a dance.

You said yes. He said you made him the happiest man that night.

“Truly?” he echoed, as if a gorgeous Prince like him ever experienced his dance invitations rejected before. “You would dance with me?”

“It would be my pleasure, Your Highness. I...I am not great at dancing though,” you began to stutter, palms growing damp behind the lace gloves. “Perhaps you ought to find somebody better? I am uncertain I am the best choice to dance with tonight—”

“You are the best choice,” the Prince grinned, and your heart skipped a beat in awe at how someone could be effortlessly charming. You barely even noticed he was already leading you to the dance floor until you felt a hundred pair of eyes on you. All these people who bore more importance and held heavier money in their pockets witnessed how the Prince slid his warm hand above your waist then, his smile just as soothing as the little finger rubs to ease your nerves. “You are—” he leant closer, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. “The only one who I want to share this dance with.”

 You awoke with a jolt, heart pounding a mile a minute as the memory replayed in your head. Like a film caught on tape, you could still hear the violins singing at the top of their lungs, the cello hitting deep notes that vibrated within your bones. You could still feel the warmth of the Prince’s touch as he danced the night away with you. How gentle he had been to walk you out the gardens just to shyly murmur how he found you beautiful.

Beautiful.

Until suddenly you were not—or more like, you had never been beautiful to him.

“My love,” a voice—one that used to be comforting but now only brought pain—broke you out of your reverie. “I prepared breakfast for you. We should go downstairs and eat.”

Your husband, Rintaro, sat at the edge of your bed with a pinched frown. As if he was worried. He had no right to be, yet somehow, there was still that voice at the back of your head rejoicing in delight. Because he came. He came to find you. You woke up with him, and sure, it didn’t erase yesterday’s events, but could it mean something? You so badly wanted to reach out to him when his hand snaked across the mattress to find yours. Offering you a small squeeze. Looking so concerned you would have believed it all over again.

How was it possible someone could be both your happiness and torment?

No! your inner voice screamed at you. Don’t let him get close.

Blinking back the tears you hadn’t noticed arrived, you kicked the blankets off of you and trudged to the bathroom when you felt bile rise from your throat. Right. Such great timing. You were pushing the toilet lid up the next second, knees scraping against the floor as you emptied your stomach. Your head pounded as you did so, and you winced, remembering just now how Prince Tooru had visited and you drank yourself to your limit.

Which, obviously, was a decision you regretted making.

“My love!” Rintaro was behind you in an instant. He rubbed your back, held your hair up as you retched a few more times, and whispered sweet nothings that did nothing but to intensify that sick feeling in your stomach. “How much did you drink? I was so worried for you, honey—”

You slapped his hand away.

“Don’t call me that.”

If Rintaro looked defeated, he hid it extremely well. “Please. I only worry for you,” he helped you up on your feet. Fortunately for him, you were too wobbly on your own legs to complain. You quietly let him sit you on the closed toilet and sat down before you, his knees brushing against your bare feet and his handsome face deceitfully worn. “Listen...we can talk about it later, alright? You need to eat first before you get even more sick.”

“You are concerned over my well-being?”

“I am—”

“It did not feel like that yesterday.”

“Please. Let’s stop fighting.” How rare for the Crown Prince to beg, much say please more than once in a row. Wasn’t he too prideful for that?

As much as you basked in how this man was now on his knees for you, you didn’t trust yourself to not give in to whatever he asked of you. True as it was that it hurt, love didn’t disappear in a night. It wasn’t that easy to un-love someone you planned your whole life with. Of course, going back to that same hellish place he put you in would truly paint you the ignoramus, but you currently didn’t have the power to say no to him just yet. It was two years of being wired to please him at all costs. And it would take more than that to unlearn all the habits you’d formed just to align with who he wanted you to be.

But things would change now. It would no longer be the same, and you could only hope the next chapters of your life would bring about a better change.

Today marked the beginning of you detaching from your husband.

Pushing past him, you walked out with clenched fists. You would not cry in front of him now. You would not let him feel the satisfaction of how perfectly he’d executed his plan of wrapping himself around your finger until the end crashed you both. You would not let him see that you still loved him, still craved him, still fucking wished he would be genuine in comforting you and not because he had to keep you as his pliant wife.

No matter how hard it was, you needed to turn your back on him from now.

“Wait,” he grabbed you by the wrist, and you nearly collapsed on the spot from how much you yearned for his touch. “Where did you get this?”

He was pertaining to the scratches on your palm. The ones you got when he rudely pushed you off. “It’s nothing,” was all you supplied, however, because he didn’t need to know. Rintaro would feel guilty and just feed you honey-like words to thaw the ice in your heart. Soon, you would be putty in his arms again if you weren’t careful enough. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Of course I worry.” He said it like this should be obvious to you by now, and you scoffed.

“Why? Because I’m not the perfect Princess you want me to be anymore now that I have wounds?”

Rintaro’s lips puckered out. “Because I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“You hurt me yesterday. Funny how fast your feelings change in the span of a night, no?” you grabbed your wrist before crossing your arms against your chest. “Is this how you always were? Kind one moment, ruthless the next? You put on so many faces and tell too many lies that I have no idea who I am talking to right now. So tell me—are you my husband who promised to take care of me and cherish me until death do us part, or are you the greedy Prince who manipulated me into marrying him?”

Rintaro does not respond. Instead, he manoeuvred around the cramped space of your bathroom and reaches for the first-aid kit on the top shelf. Your husband slowly unrolls the bandages before he takes your hand in his, touch butterfly like that you wondered if he was the same man who had been aggressive yesterday. Still, you waited with baited breath, unable to stop yourself from staring at him. And blessed he was with those hazel eyes who’d seen every ugly part of you yet stayed with you anyway—whether it was out of need or he actually cared sometimes to not mind—and that soft tuft of hair you loved running your hands to. Those lips who recited empty vows and kissed you like he meant it. That voice that made your legs quiver countless nights and now, these hands wrapping the bandages around your blistered palm with patience and grace you knew you had fallen in love with.

Tears sprung once again. Chest squeezing uncomfortably as you realized you still were, and still would, be hopelessly in love with Suna Rintaro. Heart shattering all over again when you began to accept your heart would be a chamber that hung him like an oil painting that never aged through the years. How your love would remain frozen in time along with his smiles, and you loved him so much you sometimes forget he did not love you at all.

He had someone else in his heart when yours cried out no one else’s name but his.

“Why her?” you croak out weakly, nursing your bandaged palm to your chest as you leant against the wall. Feeling your knees weaken little by little. “What does she have that I do not? Why did you love her...but not me?”

“I do not want to talk about it.”

“Why her, Rintaro?”

It was the first time you called him by his first name. The shock is apparent on his face, but Rintaro opted to shake his head before wrapping an arm around your waist. “We should eat first. Then, I will you tell everything.”

Breakfast, while not entirely comfortable, wasn’t as terrible as you expected it to be. It was difficult to stay mad at him when you were greeted by the staff who wouldn’t stop gushing about how your husband stayed up the entire night to cook for you. The said man only blushed in response, seemingly embarrassed and continuously apologizing for the mess he made in the kitchen.

Now, if Rintaro was on a mission to mess with your heart even more, it definitely worked.

All your anger dissipated as you ate the rice soup. The breakfast wasn’t anything flashy, but it contained everything you needed after a hungover. Bananas, some sliced apples, a light soup and some ginger tea to help ease your nausea. Such simple food, yet seeing as how Rintaro grew up with a silver spoon and never had to cook anything in his life before, your husband took multiple attempts to perfect the soup into a plausible taste. Not that you would ever tell him since compliments seemed far and beyond in this already failing marriage. But... you supposed, you could give him some credit. You appreciated the effort, and thanked the staff generously before you both decided to just walk back home and talk.

Greeting people as you go, your husband kept trying to hold your hand. For appearance’s sake, or because he simply wanted to have you close, you didn’t ask anymore. You shoved your hands deep into your pockets and led him into a field of dandelions—one of your favourite places as a child. The bright yellows mixing in with the lush green, along with the fresh breeze, and it would have been picture perfect.

You always wanted to visit here with Rintaro. Tell him some childhood stories. It was something you had been dreaming of around the third month of your relationship, but now that you were here standing next to your husband, you didn’t quite feel the same elation.

“This place is beautiful,” he cut the silence and faces you with a soft smile. “Imagine one day, our kids would run here with us—”

“Why are you doing this to me, Your Highness? Do you take pleasure in my suffering?”

“Princess, I—” he sighed, “Let me explain.”

“Go ahead. Tell me everything from the start and I might be kind enough to understand where you come from.”

And tell you, he did. He told you everything. From how they met, to how he had always felt this ‘pull’ with her and smiled to himself dreamily because gravity pulled him to her; they had this magnetic force that they couldn’t stay away from each other. He told you about the dreams he shared with her. The plans they made. He listed down every little thing he loved about her and remained unaware that you stood there furiously blinking back tears, because you were the wife, and you had never felt so unloved at the face of someone who proclaimed his undying affection for a woman who was not his. He reminisced about how it all went downhill when Iris married Kiyoomi, how they were so lonely that they just found home in each other. He couldn’t help it, he said, I just knew I needed to do everything to make her mine.

We were meant for each other.

And you? Who were you meant for? Perhaps, you were destined for this sick, twisted fate where you felt like the outsider, the third party, the side character, in a story that was supposed to be yours? He looked so in love. And you knew, because you mirrored everything he felt about her. You knew because you looked the same way as he does now when you were in love, and it’s not you—it’s never going to be you. It was never supposed to be you. All you could do was smile bitterly when your husband uttered her name like she had cast a spell on him. Pretending with whatever strength you had left in you to be fine.

“You love her that much you were willing to sacrifice me for it?”

“...I—”

“Did you ever think about how this would make me feel? How-How I welcomed you into my home and told you about my deepest fears and-and none of that had been real? Was there a single moment where you stopped to think maybe you were hurting someone else all because you wanted to be with the woman you want?”

“I never wanted to hurt you.”

“But that is the thing, Your Highness, you already did. You cannot undo what has been done.”

“I know that,” Rintaro stepped forward, only to be greeted by you keeping the distance bigger. The crestfallen look on his face nearly made you feel bad. “I do not expect forgiveness from you, Your Highness. Absolutely not. But if we could compromise on something—”

“What would we compromise on?” you laughed without a trace of humour, “I love you. I married you because I love you, I care about you, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. You married me out of greed. You still wish to proceed with your plans which shows you truly do not care about me, so tell me, what is there to compromise about? I want my husband more than anything else, but that is the one thing you cannot give me.”

Rintaro shook his head. “No, no. I am still yours, Princess. Iris is not my wife, you are. You are the one who I will wake up to every morning, the one I will spend the rest of my life with. We can still do the things you wish for. Iris, she... she is not a selfish woman. She has always been kind enough to let me be with you for the greater good—”

You raised a palm in front of his face.

“Please stop talking.”

Was he defeated? No. Rintaro needed more than this blatant rejection of yours. If he had been that weak or gave up any easily, then he wouldn’t get where he was right now. But at this moment, you could have sworn he meant it when his shoulders fell and called out your name.

“Had we met earlier, I would have loved you first.”

“That just hurts me more.”

“I was, and am genuinely happy with you, my wife,” he reassured, but it didn’t stop making you cry. It didn’t ease the pain as Rintaro slowly encaged you in his embrace. Your tears staining his shirt and fists crumpling the material as you felt yourself die little by little. “Shh, Princess. Not a part of me regrets reciting my vows to you on that day in front of the entire kingdom. Believe it or not, but I adore you. I love listening to your stories and hearing you laugh, and-and you are kind. You are strong. You are an extremely beautiful and loving woman that I am the luckiest man in the world to have been your husband.”

“But you do not love me,” you cried harder, “You will never look at me the way you look at her.” When the Prince remained silent, so did you. He didn’t deny it this time—how you would never receive the same treatment as Iris. That fact alone had you pulling back to stare at your husband’s eyes.

“Does she make you happier than I do, Your Highness?”

Ignorance was bliss, indeed. If only you could turn back time and undo this moment where you stopped curiosity from getting the best of you, perhaps you would not be twice as heartbroken when Rintaro nodded. No hesitation in his features. Just pure love, and an ounce of regret and guilt from the way you slowly crumbled before him.

“Yes, she does. The Princess is my entire universe. I would be utterly devastated and lost without her.”

It felt as if the wind had been knocked out of your body. It became a challenge to speak, to feel the tips of your fingers as you stepped back one time, two time, three times until the distance was just as big as the hole he punctured through your heart. Now, you had enough. You had reached your limit, learned your lesson, been humbled to your place—and Rintaro had no intention of taking his words back.

He meant it.

He would lose himself if Iris disappeared from his life.

With that, you had no choice but to force a smile. “I understand,” you declared, wiping your pathetic tears because it hadn’t been an hour since you promised you would be stronger now. But luck was never on your side, and you still kept tripping and wounding yourself.  “I...I would like to return to the castle, Your Highness. There is no need to extend this trip any longer than it should be.”

“We don’t need to return right away, Princess. There are still plenty of things we can do—”

“Please refrain from sharing any activities with me from now on unless it is bound by duty. No eyes are looking, so you have no responsibilities with me right now,” you sent him a pointed gaze. “I wish to return to the city, and that is final. Do not question my decisions as I will not interfere with yours.”

Rintaro’s lips flattened into a thin line. You couldn’t bear yourself to look at him anymore, so you walked away from him, salty tears cascading down your cheeks, and the wedding ring heavier than the weight in your heart.

From today onwards, you might not recognize yourself anymore.

None of the Princes and their wives questioned the sudden return to Inarizaki Palace.

When they saw you and Rintaro walk in with gloom faces, everyone shuffled to their feet and quickly packed their things. No words or explanations needed. This honeymoon had already ended on a sour note, and now it was time to return to the reality of royal obligations and duties. Duties such as keeping a fake smile plastered at all times when the supportive citizens of Inarizaki waved and cheered at the couples’ arrival. Atrocious obligations such as letting your husband place a possessive hand at the small of your back when the rest of his brothers welcomed you into the lobby, the youngest Prince bouncing at his feet at the sight of you.

“Back so soon, sister? Did you guys enjoy?”

You shared a quick, affectionate glance with Rintaro. “We did. I had the time of my life, but I thought it unnecessary to dilly-dally around in my hometown when royal duties await us all.”

“As expected of my sister. You are always so adept,” praised the marvelled Prince Tobio who had taken himself to looping himself to your arm. It left Rintaro awkwardly following behind as you were guided to your shared chambers, but you weren’t complaining. The youngest Prince was lively and brightened up your bitter days. “Say, would you mind taking me to Greenville someday when we are both free? I heard you had the loveliest manor there.”

“It would be my honour, Your Highness.”

“Please,” he beamed, and instantly, you were given a reason to endure this hell even longer. “Call me brother, we are family now. But ah, it is night time! I should let the both of you rest. Take good care of her, brother!”

Rintaro offered a nod. The both of you waited as Prince Tobio left the room in high spirits when the uncomfortable silence stretched, leaving you to scurry changing into your sleepwear in opt of avoiding your husband’s gaze. Once done, you let your hands roam over the cream pillars surrounding the edges of your king sized bed with a robin egg blue and gold palette. A golden chandelier with diamonds hung from the ceiling above the bed, the bed post textured with coral shaped indents. The same shade of blue hung from the windows. A large television right across the bed with a cream coloured cabinet lined with gold outlines—a perfect room for a man who would be sleeping by himself. Who, by the way, was already comfortably settled into the left side of the bed with his arm propped behind his head.

“Where are you headed?”

“Outside?”

“In your nightgown? Absolutely not.”

“In the drawing room, my Prince. I am not stepping out of our quarters dressed like this.”

“But it is time for bed.”

“Indeed, and I do not wish to share one with you when you and your mistress must have rolled around in it already. Good night, Your Highness,” you sent him a preppy smile, bowing deep before shutting the doors shut. A baffled Rintaro about to leave his bed the last thing you saw.

Hearing the doors close behind you, you practically crashed into the couch. You were beyond exhausted and your head still pounded from your endless crying—it was now time for a good night’s sleep. Not that it would be good, no matter how soft the cushion may be, because the palatial room did nothing but echo the loneliness residing in your heart.

Unbeknownst to you, Rintaro wouldn’t stop tossing and turning in his bed. The clock ticking got to his nerves until he was cracking open every book, tossing the television to random channels, and even swiping his fingers across the countertops to check for dust. He couldn’t sleep—not when his wife wasn’t beside him. This wasn’t how he pictured his marriage out to be; sleeping alone, with his wife intent on keeping her distance. Still, Rintaro thought, shouldn’t he be happy? You were not getting in his way. You were not particularly malicious to Iris on the way back home, or anytime after that, despite his confession that he knew wounded you. You simply ignored her existence, and now it was his turn.

Did you intend on pretending he wasn’t there too? Because Rintaro wasn’t having any of it. He would rather you hit him, scream at him, even call him a monster if it meant you looked at his way.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Rintaro walked to the doors and prepared himself to carry you back to bed when he heard it—the sounds of muffled cries and nearly inaudible whimpers.

He didn’t know why his mouth tasted sour and bitter at the same time.

Rintaro had no idea why he stepped away from the doors like what stood behind it scared him, and slowly returned to the bed. The door acted as a barrier between the two hearts who unknowingly kept themselves up and awake until the sun rose the next morning—Rintaro with a heavy chest of guilt, and your heart gradually losing the spark it once held for him.

 TAGLIST [ closed ]

@themarvelousadventuresoftete @taelia15 @gojojang @tsukkisrightpinky @rafzaha @cosmotoic @rntrsuna @kyriaan @selenelle @cuddlesslut @thatobsessedreader @boosyboo9206 @kitsu-writes @iamtheunknown @princessatoru @delicatedahlias @bokuatsubro @call-me-lulu @creepykawass @sunarinschuppets @coconut-dreamz @chimcrim @myhomeworksnotdone @miyavibes @redflowerinthesnow @jewlmin @seashellmichellee @1ce-in-a-lifetime @saoney @oh-honeyz​ @sh4nn​ @sakuralikestars​ @cookieempress2​ @lilacwh0re​

#suna rintaro x reader #suna x reader #suna rintaro x reader angst #suna x reader romance #suna x you #suna rintarō x reader #rintarō x reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #tooru oikawa x reader #oikawa x you #oikawa x reader fluff #rintaro x reader #rintaro x reader angst #rintaro suna x reader #tooru oikawa x you #oikawa tooru x reader angst #series: dusk till dawn #suna rintarō x reader angst #suna rintarō x reader series

[renardiererin]

tattoo artist!suna who uses his surprising strength to keep your legs spread open with his head a little bit too close to your pussy as he presses the ink into the spot on your inner thigh you requested

tattoo artist!suna whose breathing gets heavier everytime you whimper at the pain of the needle

tattoo artist!suna who “accidentally” runs his fingertips lightly over your nipples when you come back in the next week saying you want a tattoo under your boob

tattoo artist!suna who holds you tightly by your throat when you say you want a tattoo on your collarbone

tattoo artist!suna who puts his thumb on your bottom lip and pulls it down with a light pinch of the flesh when you say you want a tattoo on the inside of your bottom lip

“this is gonna hurt a bit, pretty. you sure you’re ready?”

tattoo artist!suna who can barley contain himself when you realize the pain of a lip tattoo was worse than you expected, as you wrap your hands in his hair and tense every muscle in your body.

tattoo artist!suna who- once you’re dating, and have gotten used to him giving you random little tattoos at home all the time- will hold a pretty vibrator in your dripping pussy, overstimulating you and your pretty clit until you’re crying and shaking as he tells you to stay still so he can finish the tattoo on the back of your thigh

“stay still, doll face, i can’t fuck this up. the more you shake, the harder it is to ink you up”

tattoo artist!suna who happily engraves his name in your thigh, opposite of the spot where he gave you your first tattoo that time when he wanted so badly to take off your little shorts and dive into your pretty pussy right then.

tattoo artist!suna who now knows you’re his and his only, and can fulfill the fantasies that once clouded his brain.

tattoo artist!suna who forces patience out of himself so that first thing when he’s done writing his name on your thigh he can slide off your thin underwear and tell you for the thousandth time about how to take care of a new tattoo in between licks up your pussy, until he’s done and can finally tonguefuck his pretty girl into orgasm.

#haikyuu smut #haikyuu!! #hq #hq x reader #hq imagines #hq smut #hq hcs #haikyu x reader #suna rintarō #suna rintaro scenarios #suna imagines #i need a rin right now :( #rintarou suna angst #suna rintaro haikyuu #rintarou suna #suna rintarou smut #suna rintaro x you #rintarou suna smut #hq suna #suna smut #suna x reader #suna headcanons #haikyuu suna #suna x y/n #suna rintarou #suna x you #suna rintaro smut #suna rintaro headcanons #suna rintaro x y/n #suna rintaro x reader

[k4g3hika]

CONSUME ━ imagine!

suna rintarou x fem!reader

summary: suna rintarou was hard to love, you knew this from the beginning. but when you overhear him admitting how he truly felt about you, it hurt to decide whether to let him go, or let your love for him continuously consume you.

genre: hurt/comfort

wc: 6.2k

tags: this is the longest imagine that i’ve ever written 😭 it was a pain in the ass to write but i hope you guys like it :)

Sometimes, you think it’s hard to love Suna.

Suna is calculating and quiet, the reasons exactly why you find it difficult to continuously pine for him. Though, you already knew he was going to act like this. You’ve gone to school with Suna since elementary, and have even lived in the same neighbourhood since childhood, but you don’t think he knows that.

The thing is, you know Suna, but you don’t think he knows you. Every morning since you were six years old, you’ve seen him make his way to school, but you’ve never had the courage to walk up to him and say ‘hi’. For years, the only parts of Suna that you were able to truly admire were his back and his hair, from behind. The both of you have never been in the same friend group, class, or extra-curricular activity, until your second-year of high school.

You precisely remember the moment you stepped into the gymnasium to introduce yourself as the new manager of the team. It was a rainy day and you were excited, albeit, a little nervous, but irregardless, excited because you know and love volleyball. The sport connected with some of your childhood memories, as you recall playing it with your older brother. Too bad your physical skills weren’t up to par with the school’s expectations, or else you would’ve been on the team. Their loss though, because you found your strategy and knowledge of the sport to be your strongest feature as a player.

As a result of the girl’s team already having a manager, the coach recommended you to try signing up for the role of manager for the boy’s team. Now, you didn’t mind being around boys. Your older brother was enough for you to build up the courage against the challenge that is the hygiene and personality, or well, lack thereof, of boys.

However, the courage built over the years was not enough to stop your surprise at seeing none other than Suna Rintarou, from the front.

He looked completely different from what you remember him looking like. For some reason, you still had the young image of Suna in your head. The Suna you remember had puffy cheeks and neat hair, but this new Suna, was mature, older, and way more handsome. His cheeks thinned out and highlighted a sharp jawline that made his face look so clean-cut, unlike his hair that was messy and all over the place. But, if anything, you think that you prefer this Suna.

Because, God, it made him so much more attractive.

Now, it’s been about three months since you’ve become manager, and in those three months, you’ve tried to show Suna just how much you love him. The years of no talking and never meeting each other were all building up for you, and you just wanted to show him all of the care and affection you’ve held for him over the years.

You’ve cooked bento boxes and given them to him, you’ve filled his water bottle with the expensive electrolytes from the convenience store ten minutes away from the school before every practice, and who couldn’t forget, you make sure that his towel was clean and warm beside his gym bag, so that he wouldn’t use the same one for weeks until it reeked. Your affection was clearly shown through your actions and you prayed to the heavens that he would just notice you. Maybe say a ‘thank you’ or even a little head pat, you really don’t care, just some recognition would make you feel rewarded after all the hard work you’ve done for him.

But, the bento boxes were returned to you either by, Atsumu or Osamu, Suna drank the expensive electrolyte water, however, he seemed to not notice that it was you who put all the thought and care behind the action, and his towel was always just thrown to the side alongside the other towels. Even though the towel you prepped was a personal one from home that had your initials hand sewn in the corner. You thought that at one point he would’ve acknowledged you, but the gratefulness never came.

It didn’t matter though. Because you knew in your heart that you loved Suna Rintarou, and there was nothing that could change that. Even if you did all the sincere actions for him until the both of you graduated and he never noticed you, just knowing that he at least saw the bento box, the water bottle, and your towel, was enough to put a smile on your face. You would show Suna that you love him, ten times over.

“Y/N! Earth to Y/N!” Your head snaps over to your right, seeing the coach look at you with concern. Embarrassed that he caught you in your daily Suna trance, your cheeks heats up and you push yourself to your feet.

“Coach!”

“I thought you would never hear me. Listen, I don’t know what’s taking all your attention away, but can you please head down to the locker room and tell the boys that they need to make their way over here. The drill we spoke about yesterday is a bit complicated, so I would like to get started as soon as possible.” Nodding, you bow and begin to make your way over to the club room.

Your heart begins to speed up a bit, as the thought of seeing Suna shirtless makes your chest burn and your face hot. By all means, you are not a pervert! But just seeing him with all his muscles in the bright fluorescent light of the locker room looked like a cover of a sports magazine.

Suna Rintarou makes you feel so nervous. Unfortunately, you find yourself relishing in the minimal acknowledgement that he gives you, thriving off of the fact that you were in a club that just allowed you to be around him. Maybe it was a sign from the heavens that you weren’t physically athletic, but strategically, which resulted in your application as Boys Volleyball team manager. You’d like to think that despite his ignorance, it was in both of your guys’ destinies to end up with another.

Maybe the both of you were the main characters of a drama, where, despite all the bumps in the plot, you will always find each other being drawn to one another. Yet again, that was all just your stupid imagination, but one can dream, right?

Giggling to yourself, you were about to knock on the locker room door, before you heard loud voices through the small space between the door and the wall. It sounded like they were bickering with one another, and you begin to wonder if it’s Atsumu and Osamu fighting again, while everyone just stood around and observed. Normally, you would be the one to beg them to stop while Kita jumped in after you to pull them apart. But, now that you weren’t inside, you begin to push open the door at the possibility.

“...Y/N?” Your actions falter at the sound of your name.

‘Are they talking about me?’ Before you could do anything, you lean your ear in just to get a snippet of what they were talking about. You know what they say though, curiosity was what killed the cat.

“Come on Sunarin! You have to like Y/N! She’s so cute, and she cooks you all those bento boxes! If that isn’t girlfriend material, then I don’t know what is.” Hearing Atsumu praise you for your efforts made you smile, trying to hide it by covering your mouth with your hand.

“And, let’s not forget how she already likes you. C’mon Rintarou, we’ve seen her personally hand you your water bottle,” The voice you assume to be Ojiro teases, while everyone in the room laughs.

“Oh yeah!! I’ve seen those expensive electrolyte packets in her bag, man, how does it feel to receive such special treatment from Y/N?”

‘So my actions don’t go unnoticed.’ Your smile grows bigger, clutching your clipboard closer to your chest when feeling just how full your heart is with everyone’s recognition.

“Stop it guys.” Suna’s smooth voice finally enters the picture and you try to stop yourself from giggling out loud. “She’s our manager.”

“So?!? Man, that’s even better! You won’t have a girlfriend who doesn’t understand the importance of the sport. If anything, Y/N is more committed than you, maybe you will be the one competing for her attention against the club,” you hear smooching sounds and Atsumu speaks in a voice that tries to mock Suna’s, but did a terrible job.

“Y/N~ don’t forget all about me!! I love you Y/N~!” More kissing sounds can be heard, and everyone in the room laughs one more time.

The joy in your heart would’ve been extended, if it weren’t for the sudden aggravated scoff from Suna, and the slapping of a towel on bare skin. Atsumu yelps and the room suddenly dies down from the initial humorous atmosphere.

“Man, shut up. I don’t like Y/N. She’s alright, I guess.” a locker door slams shut, “But sometimes, she's just so... annoying. I don't know how much longer I can put up with it. And you know, after a while, it just comes off as desperate.”

‘Desperate? I’m not desperate.’ You weren’t keen on Suna noticing you. You just liked doing all those things for him, it showed you cared, and that he was at least deserving of some special treatment, because he was a very special person in your life.

“I feel bad for her,” he continues, “spending all that time doing shit for someone that doesn’t even like her. I can’t say anything though, cause she’s our manager and I don’t want the team to feel awkward. I guess I just have to suffer with her smothering me all the damn time.”

At that, you feel your once fluttering heart stop. You feel tears beginning to make their way to fall from your eyes, as your face begins to feel hot, but not in a blushing way. More like in a, you were about to sob out loud and the tears probably wouldn’t stop for a while, way.

You loved Suna. He didn’t have to love you back, the least you were asking for was for him to say ‘thank you’. But it appeared that your affection didn’t appear as a display of your love, but something that bothered him. Annoying him to the point of seeing your actions as suffocating. But that didn’t entirely bother you.

It was the fact that he didn’t even want to tell you to stop. He was going to live like that until high school was over, because you were the team’s manager, and it would be ‘awkward’. You begin to overthink.

What if you kept on going about cooking those bento boxes for him, filling his water up with electrolytes, and bringing a special towel from home, all warm and clean, without knowing what he actually thought of your displays of affection? You would’ve lived thinking that Suna somewhat appreciated it. Possibly having the idiotic thought that he was just shy, and maybe didn’t know how to exactly tell you that he liked you.

You are such a dumbass.

You begin to tremble, the pen that was once held up by your clipboard clattering to the ground and startling you. It brought you back to your situation, seeing the door still somewhat closed in front of you. Out of fear that they were going to see you and realise that you were eavesdropping, you ditch the pen and begin to run back to the gym.

You were going to tell the coach that you were feeling sick. You hope the teary eyes and flushed cheeks will do you justice, and he’ll send you home without any repercussions. But as of right now, nothing matters, all that did was the fact that you were annoying the boy you loved, and that your pillows were waiting to welcome your tears until tomorrow morning.

—

It’s been two days. Have you missed school for the past two days? Absolutely not. Suna wasn’t going to make you miss class, as much as you wanted to, you know that if you were going to skip, the school will inform your parents, and that last thing you want is your parents to get involved.

It’s just been two days since you’ve been to volleyball practice. You haven’t been missing your duties at all though. Yes, you’ve been in contact with the coach and Kita, with them informing you on the notes of the team and each player’s performance. The reason for that being, some coaches from Tokyo were planning to head down to Hyogo for a volleyball camp. The team needs to know what they have to improve on, and unfortunately, though you felt as if you weren’t in the right state of mind, you had to fulfil your duties as a manager.

You’re not over Suna, and to be honest, you don’t think you ever will be. He’s been such a constant force in your life, that a lifetime without his presence captivating your mind felt impossible to even conjure. You love Suna Rintarou, but you guess you would just have to hold it inside until the both of you go your separate ways. Maybe then you’ll get over him, but the possibility seemed unlikely.

You just have to give up expecting the response to your love that you’ve been hoping for your entire life.

Checking the cafeteria and seeing if you had enough food supply for three volleyball teams, their respective coaches, and their managers. It seemed like a chore to do all on your own, and it was. But you committed to being the team manager. Suna wasn’t going to change that whether he liked it or not.

“Y/N, the Tokyo teams will be arriving soon. Coach says you need to head to the front and help him with dorm placement.” Sighing and nodding, you get up from your squatting position from the bottom shelf. Kita notices your negative mood, by being the observant asshole that he is. As you were about to exit out the only doorway, he grabs your forearm, holding you back from actually leaving. His sudden touch surprised you, resulting in you jolting back. “I’ve been meaning to ask, are you okay?”

His concern falters your thoughts and movements. In all the time that you’ve been manager of the volleyball team, Kita has never really shown you that much care for how you felt. It surprised you a bit, seeing how concerned he looked for your wellbeing.

Yet again, he’s Suna’s friend.

“I’m okay, why do you ask?” He didn’t believe you, that was clear. It was so obvious when his facial expression did not change, Kita was still staring intently at you. It almost felt like he was trying to read your mind.

“You dropped your pen, by the way.” Taking it out of his pocket, Kita hands you your familiar piece of stationary, not thinking about it, you grab it from his hand. “I know you were by the locker room when Suna said what he said.”

‘Oh shit.’ You felt your heart come to a stop, yet again.

“W-What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So it’s just a coincidence that after Suna said that about you, I found your pen in front of the locker room door, and you didn’t show up to practise till today? Y/N, I’m not sure if you’ve failed to learn something about me, but I can tell you that I am not an idiot.”

His words caught you off-guard. Kita managed to figure out what was wrong with you, without even knowing who you were. To be honest, it scared you a bit, getting a glimpse of what Kita can truly find out when he concentrated hard enough. You admire that about him.

Taking your silence as you not knowing what to say, Kita lets go of your forearm and sighs.

“Suna didn’t mean what he said. He’s a very thoughtful individual who was pressured into saying those things by the team. You know how they are. Please try to see things from his perspective, as Suna is often misunderstood.” He begins to walk away, but leaves with a final word, “I’m not telling you to change how you feel about the situation. You have a right to feel how you feel. But, don’t take Suna’s words too seriously.” Kita walks away, leaving you alone in the cafeteria.

‘Did he just say not to take the insults Suna threw at you seriously?’ The aggression left behind the negativity a few days ago wants to say, absolutely not. What Kita said is unfair, to you and your feelings. Suna called you annoying and said you were smothering him, how can you jump around that? So far you haven’t had a night where you haven’t thought about how…mean Suna was. You thought that he only would’ve been mean to Atsumu or the others, but not you, never you.

It’s safe to say that your mind felt like it was on the verge of exploding. It was so stressful to choose whether or not you should believe Kita and show Suna your love again, or just ignore him like what you’ve been doing for the past couple of days.

You think that it’s best to just…not think about the problem. It’s a situation for later, for now, the camp and most importantly, the team needs your utmost attention.

‘God, I hate high school.’

—

“Hey Suna, you good?” Suna takes a sip of water from his bottle, noting that it tasted different from usual. Nodding, he wipes his sweat off with a spare shirt from his bag, also becoming aware that the towel that he was given wasn’t the usual soft one that he had from the beginning of the year. This one was coarse and rough, making him pick up the shirt he intended to wear if he got too sweaty.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Hey, does the water taste a bit weird? Like, spoiled or somethin’ cause it doesn’t taste like how it usually does.” Osamu’s eyebrow raises, grabbing the bottle from Suna’s hands despite his protests, and tasting his friend’s drink. To him, it tasted normal, like the normal water that came from the water fountain.

“No…it tastes like how it usually does?”

“Nah, can’t be man. The water I usually have is sweeter and it tastes like fruit juice. This shit tastes weird.” Suna’s face scrunches up, tasting his water again to see if he was just hallucinating the lack of flavour in his water. It’s stupid, how much he’s overthinking the flavour of something that he shouldn’t think that much about. But he hates how regular water tastes like, only really drinking it if he has to.

Observing Suna, it clicks in Osamu’s head what was missing from the water.

In the past, he has noticed you getting out a packet of electrolytes and putting it into Suna’s bottle with a sincere smile on your face. You looked so cute and happy, it puzzled him why you didn’t tell Suna that it was you that was making his water suitable to his tastes. The silent display of affection made him so jealous, he could only wish that he had someone that cared that much.

“What if you ask Y/N? She’s the one who fills up the water bottles anyway, she should know.” Osamu jogs back to the court, practising once more with the team captain. Inquisitively, Suna does remember that you fill up the water bottles. He also remembered how you asked him once at the beginning of the school year what his favourite drink was, and he only shrugged, saying that he likes fruit chuupets, and ever since then, his water tasted like the familiar fruity taste. Wanting to know why his water hasn’t been tasting like it as of late, it prompted him to go on a search for you. Damn warmups, he needs to know why his water doesn’t have the same taste than it usually does.

Looking around the gym, he sees your figure turn into the hallway. Following you, he begins to walk faster in order to catch up to you, thinking about what to say to you in his head, without coming across as mean.

‘Y/N, why does my water taste bad?’ No. ‘Y/N, why doesn’t my water taste like fruit?’ No, he’s going to sound stuck up. ‘Y/N, why does my water taste like everyone else’s?’ Oh God no, that sounds even worse.

‘Y/N, is there something different about my water?’ There you go. That should sound right.

He was ready to confront you, preparing himself to call out your name. But before he could do so,

“Dove!” Suna’s head snaps to the loud voice in front of him, and so does yours, as a tall, lanky, goofy-looking boy makes his way towards you. Much to Suna’s dismay, for some reason, a smile etches itself onto your face as the other man approaches you. “I thought I would never find you.”

“Tetsu, aren’t you supposed to be practising with your team? You shouldn’t be behind here.”

“Well, I just wanted to see my girl. Is there any harm in that, Dove?”

“Tetsu, stop,” you mutter, a bit shy, “I don’t want people from my school to hear you call me that.”

“Aw, you’re still cute as ever. Here, let me help you with that.” Suna sees the guy, ‘Tetsu’, grab the basket of water bottles from your hands. You protest, pouting a bit as Kuroo brings the case above your reach so that you wouldn’t be able to get it back. “I haven’t seen you in awhile Dove, let me be nice, okay?”

Honestly, he personally doesn’t know what overcame him, but out of nowhere Suna coughed loud enough for the pair to hear. He sees you jump a bit, seeing that one of your teammates, catching you in the midst of a conversation while you were supposed to be doing your duties. And it was even worse for you, as not only was it a teammate, but it was Suna. You assume that he probably hates your guts, based on what he said before. Even so, his glare started to make you feel a bit nervous.

“Can I help you?” Kuroo asks Suna as walks up to the both of them.

“I should be asking you that question. Do you need something from my team manager?” Embarrassed, you look down at your feet, trying to avert your eyes from Suna or Kuroo’s.

Kuroo’s eyes squint, looking at the middle-blocker who, to his surprise, matches his height. The both of them begin to have a staring competition, as one or the other refuses to tear away the eye contact. It started to worry you, because it’s almost been two minutes of harsh breathing and aggressive stares.

“O-Okay, I’ll be taking these then.” You grab the crate from Kuroo and begin to make your way to your original location. “Get back to practise guys! Lunch is in thirty!”

“Who are you and why were you talking to Y/N?”

“Woah, woah, buddy, why are you getting protective? Y/N, is a very, very, close friend of mine, so I think that I have a right to approach her right?” Kuroo smirks, stepping closer to Suna as a form of intimidation. “How about you? Are you her boyfriend or something?”

Suna glares at Kuroo, wanting nothing more than to hit him in the jaw. He would, but one, that would take too much of his energy, and two, he’s pretty sure you would hate him if he does. Still, something in Suna just wanted to tell Kuroo that he was your boyfriend just for him to back off.

But he wasn’t. Because he doesn’t like you. He’s sure of that.

“No.” Kuroo laughs, stepping back before turning to make his way back to the gym.

“Well then, that means nothing is stopping me right?” Kuroo walks away, but not before aggressively pushing Suna’s shoulder back with his own. Though, Suna was too concentrated on what the other boy said to even progress the aggression from the other side.

‘What did he mean ‘nothing is stopping him? Is Kuroo going to do something to you? What will Kuroo do that’ll result in Suna blocking him?’

“Sunarin! What are you still doing out here?!” Atsumu shriek could be heard from down the hall, making Suna jump out of his train of thought. He completely forgot that he was even standing here just staring at a wall and thinking of you. That was weird.

He usually never did.

—

The practice game against Inarizaki and Nekoma was…tense.

You could feel the passive aggressiveness coming strangely, from Kuroo and Suna across the net. Everyone else was curious as well, wondering exactly why these two, who’ve never met before, suddenly have a feud similar to that of a world war. At first, you were completely clueless, but then began to wonder if something happened in the hallway after you left.

Maybe Suna said something to tease Kuroo? Or maybe, it was the other way around and now they just want to kill each other.

In the third set at twenty-two points to Inarizaki and twenty-four points to Nekoma, the stakes and the nerves were equally as high. Nekoma has one win and Inarizaki has the other. It seems that this practice game was being played for far more than it actually was, since Kuroo and Suna never acknowledged each other apart from glaring and swearing at each other under their breath. Their respective teams kept asking them if they were okay, both replying with, “yeah, let’s just win.”

“Do you think something happened between Suna and that Nekoma player?” The coach asks you, leaning in and whispering it so that others wouldn’t hear.

“I’m not sure…but they do seem pretty aggressive with one another.”

Then, as you look away for just a moment, a spike comes from Nekoma, but was thankfully received by Kita. Following a set by Atsumu, Osamu jumped to spike it down, but was then blocked by none other than Kuroo himself.

At the brink of time, Ojiro retrieves it back, calling Atsumu to set it once more, this time for Suna to powerfully spike it down, aiding them in their two point loss between them and Nekoma. As Suna jumps up, you see Kuroo and Kenma jump as well.

A feeling of failure begins to settle in your heart.

Suna hits the ball, powerfully, the first time you’ve seen him hit a ball with so much energy.

But the ball immediately lands back down onto the same side, Kita not able to have caught up to it in time. Nekoma cheers out loud, congratulating each other on their hard work.

While Inarizaki lost, they began to support each other for their efforts, but you notice that Suna didn’t look as relieved as the others. His stare is hostile, facing towards the otherside where you see Kuroo looking at him with the same confrontational gaze. You swallow nervously, beginning to make your way towards Suna to pull him back. The Inarizaki boys take notice as well, observing how Suna and Kuroo were both stomping their way to each other. The same feeling of failure seeps into your chest again and you could sense something was going to go terribly wrong–

Suna punched Kuroo in the jaw!

Out of nowhere, a fight begins between the two players, both of them tussling with one another in the middle of the court. Kuroo lands a punch on Suna but is equally stunned when Suna fights back almost immediately after. You notice how Kuroo was pulling at his shirt, trying to bring him closer to land another blow, but fails as Suna strikes him one after the other. Both Nekoma and Inarizaki run up to their players, trying to pull them apart from one another.

The coaches start to shout at their players, ordering them to stop what they were doing at once.

Successfully, they both are torn apart from one another, but still continue to fight the air as they try to continue their brawl.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Your coach asks, trying to instill some discipline into his player. Unfortunately, your heart fails to calm down after witnessing the both of them fight so aggressively. You’ve never seen Suna fight someone, or him be so mad.

Suna looks up, pulling his arms away from his teammates and stares at you.

As the both of you make eye-contact, you refuse to move from your position and remain shaking. Almost as if you gave him an answer to something, Suna walks away, leaving behind everyone in awe.

Just then, you look up at Kita, who nods for you to go.

‘Should I go?’

The memory of him calling you annoying and smothering comes back in your mind.

‘Does he deserve my comfort?’

“Please try to see things from his perspective, as Suna is often misunderstood.”

Putting down the clipboard on the bench, you run outside to try and find Suna. Fall has never been kind to Hyogo, as rain pelts down from the sky, fogging your ability to try and see Suna. You call out his name, but your volume is minute in comparison to the strength of the rain.

Running into the open hallway, you look left and right to try and find the familiar boy. But, no luck. Your heart begins to ache at the realisation that you had no idea where Suna is. You didn’t know what he was doing all by himself in weather like this. Inside, you sincerely hope that he didn’t run out in the street.

‘Oh God, what if he did?’

Out of sheer panic, you run towards the direction of the gate, praying to the heavens that he didn’t do the latter. With rain coming down this hard, you knew that driver’s wouldn’t be able to see as clearly as they usually do. And the thought of Suna running into the street in hopes of getting his comfort jelly chuupets at the convenience store down the road doesn’t make you feel better at all.

You run out the gate, looking towards the direction of the store, failing to catch Suna or any person resembling him standing in the vicinity of it. Trying to get nearer and get a closer look, the sound of a blaring horn fills your ears. Turning to the left, you see a car heading your way, swerving side to side in a skidding motion. The road was so slippery in this type of weather, but why couldn’t you move?

The car was getting closer and your feet felt like they were stuck on the ground.

‘Why can’t I move?’

“Y/N!” Your body jerks back to the side. The car swiftly passes the both of you, getting back onto its regular general direction before driving further down the road. You feel your heart beating profusely, your heaving chest moving up and down in hopes of slowing it. “Are you stupid?! What do you think you’re doing?!?”

Looking up to thank your saviour, Suna’s panicked face greets you causing you to go silent. Both at the same time, you feel relief and stress seeing his face. Mostly relief because you’ve finally found him after all the events that occured today.

“Answer me—“

“Idiot!” Pushing him back, Suna stands there stunned while you clench your fists by your sides. “What—What do you think you’re doing, getting into fights, running out in the rain…are you a child?!? What is going on with you??”

Suna stands there silently.

“And don’t just stand there, I ran out in the road because, because I thought you went to buy your stupid chuupets that you love so much down at the convenience store! You are like a child, wanting fucking food when you’re angry or stressed. You know, I shouldn’t have come out here. In the rain, getting all wet. But you know what Suna, you know what’s pathetic? This, running in shitty weather like this, wouldn’t only be the most drastic thing I do for you.

Suna, for months, I-I’ve been buying expensive ass electrolyte packets, because I know you wouldn’t drink regular water. You only drink water that tastes like fruit juice. That’s from my own money by the way! I also cook you food, that I spend time out of my nights, and sometimes mornings, because you are picky! I know you don’t like cafeteria food, so I just threw my food into the circle, hoping to God that you just might like it! And-And let’s not forget about my towel, my hand sewn, hand washed, machine dried towel. I bring it for you fresh everyday Suna! I know you don’t like the rough school towels, so I brought mine with my initials!

And do I get noticed? No! I never got a ‘thank you’, or even a nod of recognition?! I have Atsumu or Osamu return my bento box in silence, even my towel, thrown into the pile with the rest of the team’s towels, and I get called annoying. I slave myself every day, Suna, just to get your attention. But I don’t think you realise that, I don’t have to do these things. I have never, ever, forced myself to do these things.

I am sorry, if I smother you Suna. I just love you so fucking much that I don’t realise the things I do to care for you, are exhausting.

But now, I’m exhausted. Of not receiving the gratitude I expect for the things I do. I was fine for awhile Suna, but now I’m—“

Then, you feel yourself being pushed onto his chest. One of Suna’s arms wrap around your waist, while the other holds your head down gently, as if silencing you from saying the rest of what you wanted to say. You feel shock course through your veins as the last thing you expected was a hug from the Suna Rintarou.

You and Suna stood under the harsh rain, their heartbeats echoing the drumming of waterdrops around them. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them in that intimate moment.

“Don’t get tired Y/N, please don’t get tired of me.” Out of nowhere, you feel yourself begin to cry. Wiping your tears onto Suna’s already wet jersey, he manages to sense your exhaustion, urging him to glide his hand on top of your head continuously. “I am grateful Y/N, that you do all these things for me without me having to ask.”

Suna pulls the both of you apart, cradling your face as he attempts to wipe your tears off. Despite his efforts however, you continue to cry, meanwhile struggling to breathe as you attempt to catch your breath. It feels like despite all the tears you’ve cried in private, seeing Suna recognise you brought a whole different wave of emotions.

“Don’t cry, I don’t want to see you crying because of me.” At that moment, Suna ponders for a bit as you see him look at you. You feel yourself freeze as he leans down to plant two kisses on both of your cheeks, an effort to dry your tears. Putting his forehead on yours, his thumbs continuously brush your jawline, as if he was admiring you. “It’s difficult for me to say Y/N, but I love you.”

Your eyes widen.

“I’ve loved you since elementary when you pushed that little boy off the swing after he pushed me off. I’ve loved you since middle school when you would sneakily put chuupets on my desk, even if you thought I didn’t know. You’re beautiful Y/N. And, I’m sorry for not thanking you earlier for everything you’ve done for me. I’m not brave like you, I can’t show the people I love that I care for them.”

“B-But the bento…”

“Of course I ate it. It hurts me to think that I didn’t, I just always asked Atsumu or Osamu to bring it back. You make me nervous Y/N. I can’t confidently walk up to you when you get prettier every time my eyes turn to you.

You make me weak, Y/N.” You huff, sniffling as Suna lands another kiss on the tip of your nose. He smiles and brings you in for another hug, but this time, your arms wrap around him tightly.

It is difficult to love Suna Rintarou.

It was a path fraught with uncertainties and moments of doubt. But as you stood there, holding the rain-soaked figure before you, you knew that the journey was worth it. Because in the depths of his guarded heart, you had found a love that was as powerful as it was fragile, as beautiful as it was challenging. And you were determined to weather the storm, to be the unwavering presence that helped him navigate the complexities of love and vulnerability.

#haikyuu #haikyuu anime #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu angst #haikyuu hurt/comfort #suna rintarou #suna rintaro x you #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintaro fic #suna rintaro haikyuu #suna rintarou angst #suna rintarou fluff #suna rintarou hurt/comfort #suna rintarō #suna rintaro imagine #suna rintaro x y/n #suna rintaro scenarios

[ghost-recs]

CAN I ASK FOR A SUNA REC? (preferably timeskip)

YES YOU SURE CAN !! i may have gone down a small rabbit hole but most of them are oneshots. hopefully you'll find something that fits your fancy :)

Suna Timeskip Recs

love sick by @idlerin

synopsis: you are the campus "cupid" and give out love advice to the other students on campus as a hobby. but what happens when suna asks you to fake date him as a way to fend off the girls you're encouraging?

smau, college au - fun dynamics between characters and i'm obsessed with seeing where this goes [ongoing...]

bet on stones by @animatedrapture

synopsis: suna lost a bet, but for you he'd do it all over again.

a pure fluff oneshot with your pro-player boyfriend!

once in a lifetime by @moonswolfie

synopsis: this may be your once in a lifetime opportunity to talk with ejp raijin's suna rintaro, who could blame you for indulging in your small celebrity crush?

cute oneshot, flirting, i love this scenario

Lame Jokes by hurtbycanonthoughts [ao3]

synopsis: the same grumpy customer comes in every morning. you swear you'll get him to smile somehow.

oneshot! full of bad puns and fluff

clair de lune by MyAUIsAMess [ao3]

synopsis: it's been years since you've seen suna, since he made his promise. you're not sure if seeing him again was worth it.

angsty oneshot, right person wrong time that put me in my sad hours.

untitled scenario by @emmyrosee

synopsis: suna misses you while away for volleyball...

it's just cute, okay? he deserves it!

cameral roll by @haijmei

synopsis: suna is known for not being super expressive with his emotions. so how can you tell if he loves something? easy! look through his camera roll

short little oneshot of suna going through his camera roll

don't smile at me by @atzuums

synopsis: model suna is a real jerk, a hot one, but a jerk nonetheless. you just had to fall for him anyways.

smau, this is a bit cheesy, started off with a lot of good potential, but felt rushed at the end

it's a match! by shittyshima [ao3]

synopsis: matching on tinder with suna made your day. him messaging you was the cherry on top!

college au; i'm not gonna lie i feel like this is ooc, but the idea is cute!

i'm just gonna leave this one here again tho - you're not the one (ik it's not a timeskip but it's so good)

#sunarin supremacy #thanks for asking for this!! #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu suna #haikyuu smau #suna rintarou #suna x reader #suna x you #suna x y/n #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintarō #suna rintaro haikyuu #suna rintaro x y/n #hq #hq fluff #hq smau #fic rec #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #hq x reader #ghost rec

[valleyofheartz]

Pairing: Suna Rintarou x F!Reader

Genre: angst, fluff, strangers to friends to lovers, unrequited love to requited love, one-sided pining, slow burn

Summary: Attending your first year at Tokyo Metropolitan University with your best friends leaves you ecstatic. Things go smoothly until you are awestruck; quite literally, by your friends’ hot teammate. Immediately head over heels, you make it your mission to make him yours. If only he wasn’t so uninterested in you. But you’ll prove yourself to him, one way or another.

Updates: no schedule for now but may change later

Format: smau + written

Content/Warnings: bad humour, occasional inappropriate jokes, occasionally suggestive, kms joke, toxic family relationships, one scene where it is implied that reader does not have big muscles, mention of blood, mention of picking at skin, emotional/verbal abuse, reader is very forward but sensitive, will add as i update!

Taglist: Open!:>

Status: Ongoing

Bootleg Avengers vs Spy x Volleyball Players

1. True love?

2. Pretty Boy

3. New Bestie

4. Love Is An Open Door

5. Got Em’

6. Mission Accomplished

7. Tooru x Angel Day

8. 21 Questions

9. …Chuupets?

10. Badtz-Maru x My Melody

11. Not Mine

12. Cake Day

13. Game Day

14. What It Means to Be 13

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

26.

27.

28.

29.

30.

#suna rintaro x reader #suna x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu smau #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #suna x you #haikyuu x you #suna rintarō #suna rintaro imagine #suna angst #suna fluff #suna smau #haikyuu social media au

[loveephia]

suna rintarō being in love with his close friend who's the complete opposite of him.

a girl who's cheerful and oh, so full of love; always willing to give without expecting to receive in return. a smile from you was very much contagious, as it has proven to work on not only the miya twins, but on kita shinsuke, too.

when suna first met you, he thought that you were naïve, and from his astute observations, he turned out to be right.

but the minute he saw your weary eyes and tear-stained cheeks trying to pick up the shattered pieces of your own heart, suna wanted nothing more than to protect you from all of the harm in the world.

he even considered doing something about the boy who pushed you around, but suna knows that you wouldn't want him to meddle in personal affairs, even if it was for your sake.

so he opts to comfort you in his long arms instead.

"i'll never let another boy hurt you ever again." suna vowed a promise as he held your crying figure close.

© lowercase intended | loveephia

#YES. #THIS IS A REFRENCE TO MY OLD SUNA ANGST POST #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu!! #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x y/n #hq x reader #hq x y/n #hq hcs #tooth rotting fluff #hq #haikyū!! #haikyuu anime #haikyuu #suna x you #suna rintaro x y/n #hq suna #suna rintarō #suna x reader #suna rintarou #suna rintaro drabbles #suna rintaro x you #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintaro oneshot #suna rintaro fic #suna rintarou x you #suna rintarou x reader

[k0dzukeiji]

𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 - 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐚 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨

read pt 2 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

synopsis: you tried to warn him and he didn’t listen. that not only costed him a healthy relationship, but your friendship as well.

genre: angst, friends>nobodies

warnings: cursing, toxic relationship, friend breakups, fighting, suna is an asshole, reader has a crush on suna, regret, made up character is also a bitch, mentions of hell, NOT PROOF READ, PLEASE EXCUSD ANY MISTAKES OR TYPOS (i never proof read), mentions of vomit, probably ooc

wc: 3,220 (sleep deprived me really said 1k+ 💀)

taglist: @hissy-fit18 @ilovejujitsukaisen @misasdeathwish

a/n: I don’t know how I feel about this, kinda sucky but its not horrible considering i wrote it in 2 days without any prep

also imma just complain cause i kept switching to another keyboard while writing this and it was a pain in my ass

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

You and Suna, Rin to you, have been best friends since diapers. The two of you did EVERYTHING together, you even moved with him to Hyogo after he got scouted. You and him were inseparable; Keyword were.

It all started when he met Sato Rei a beautiful girl with an ugly personality. He almost immediately warmed up to her and though you should’ve been happy, you weren’t. It’s not that you were unhappy that he was friends with another girl, never would you be unhappy about that. It’s about this specific girl. Rei was known to be the campus playgirl, but that didn’t bother Suna. You had no idea what Rei’s intentions were so you were tryin x g to stay positive, but you couldn’t ignore that gut feeling that was telling you this wasn’t going to end well.

Over time, Suna and Rei grew closer and he admitted to you that he has a crush on her and pleaded you to help him ask her out. Hesitantly, you agreed but immediately regretted it. I mean who helps set up their best friend with a literal snake? And especially when you’ve had a massive crush on him since the 5th grade.

About 3 months after their meeting, he finally asked her out and to nobodies surprise, she said yes. Despite your aching heart, you were happy that Suna found someone, even if that person wasn’t you. Your mother and Suna’s had always thought that the two of you were going to end up together but now that doesn’t seem like the case.

This all took place about 6 months ago. Ever since the two started dating, Suna didn’t talk to you as often. He didn’t make plans with you, he never came over to your house anymore and he hardly ever talked to anyone except for Rei. You rarely ever got to talk to him except for at volleyball for maybe 10 minutes until Rei would shoot daggers at you through her eyes at come drag him away. No matter where he was, she would be there and no one was allowed to talk to him.

She was also very jealous, whenever you would say hi to Suna you swore you could see the veins in her forehead popping out. You were trying your best to maintain your friendship while still being mindful that you may be making Rei uncomfortable, but no matter how hard you tried she always found something to complain about; this resulted in you and Suna not even greeting each other in the school hallway because apparently you were “making a pass” at him

Eventually, you and the rest of the team grew annoyed with this but you couldn’t say anything, Rei was every where. You couldn’t help but not like her, she lives up to her reputation.

Those 6 months felt like hell to you. You missed your best friend, you missed seeing him everyday, you just missed his presence. You and him were practically attached at the hip, when the two of you moved you had no one else to rely on but each other, so for him to suddenly not be available was really hard on you. However, the holidays were nearing and that meant winter break. Winter break means you and Suna finally get to go back to your home prefecture, which just so happens to be three hours away, meaning Rei can’t go.

Of course when Rei found this out she was extremely unhappy, but there was nothing she could do. Her parents wouldn’t let her go and your families were awaiting yours and Suna’s return. She tried everything to convince her parents to let her go, but they ultimately said no. This lead to her having a conversation with you before break started.

(this took place like 2 weeks ago)

It went a little bit like this:

“What the fuck is wrong with you (L/N)? You really think you can just take my boyfriend away from me? What is your issue?” She snarled at you, her eyes dark and full of jealousy.

“Sato I’m not trying to take him away, we’re not from this prefecture and our families want us home for the holidays” You explained calmly as she rolled her eyes

“Oh as if! Cut the excuse (L/N)! I know what you’re planning and it’s not gonna work.” She accused you. What would you even be planning?

“I’m not planning anything..?” You say, more of a question than a statement and you watch her roll her stupid dumb pretty eyes.

“Just stay away from Rintaro. He wants nothing to do with you.” She said as she turned away, her long brown hair swaying as she walked.

To say you were annoyed would be an understatement. Who was she to say what Suna wants and what he doesn’t? Yeah she’s his girlfriend but they haven’t even known each other for a full year. You were beyond tired of this and you badly just wanted to go home where things would be normal.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

You couldn’t help but smile in relief when you saw Suna walking towards you at the train station without the raging Rei behind him. As he walked towards you, you noticed a small smile growing on his tired features. It wasn’t a noticeable smile, it wasn’t one that just anyone would notice, it was one that you and only you could detect.

On the train ride home, everything finally felt like it went back to normal. The two of you were able to talk freely just like you used to, it felt nice. When the two of you arrived at Suna’s houss, it felt even better. Being around your families reminded you of the time before the two of you moved to Hyogo, everything was good, everyone was happy, up until now.

At dinner Suna’s mother brought up Rei and as Suna began to talk about her you went silent, you weren’t sure what to say. You just knew what not to say, it was something along the lines of:

“Yeah but Auntie did Rin here ever mention that his girlfriend is a complete snake?”

“(Name) honey, is something the matter?” Suna’s mother soon brought you out of your thoughts.

“It’s nothing Auntie — the train ride just left me a bit tired is all.” You laughed a fake laugh which caused Suna to squint his eyes at you. You were hoping no one would notice, but your best friend being the observant man he is, he just had to notice.

“Ah is that so? Well it is a bit late and we’re all done eating. Rintaro can you do us a favor and walk (Name) home?” His mother said in a sweet tone. Your house wasn’t far, just down the street. You didn’t need to be walked home, but you appreciated her caring for you.

“I will, I’ll just use the bathroom first.” He said nonchalantly as he pushed in his chair with his hip and made his way to the bathroom upstairs.

His mother waited a minute until she heard the bathroom door close. She could tell something was off with you. You hardly ever reacted like that, it seemed as if you had a million thoughts rushing through your head.

“Now then tell me dear, what is this Rei girl actually like?” She asks dead serious as she makes eye contact with you.

“What do you mean Auntie..?” You knew exactly what she meant, you just didn’t want to answer out of fear of Rin hearing.

“You know what I mean dear, what do you think of the two of them? Are they right for each other?”

“Honestly? No, I don’t think so. They’re — they’re too complicated and Rei is too… Controlling? I don’t know how to tell Rin though, I’m not sure how he’d react.” You nearly began to rant. You probably would’ve had his mother not calmed you down.

“Relax, it’s okay. I know how you feel about my son, dear. I can tell you like him, if you think this relationship isn’t right for him you should tell him. He’s your best friend, he’ll understand.” She smiled as she squeezed your hands in hers. You couldn’t help but smile back. Suna’s mother always felt like a second mother to you, and you couldn’t help but love her for supporting your feelings for Suna.

“Okay. I’ll talk to him on the way home.” You said as she nodded in satisfaction. If his mother thinks it’ll work, what could go wrong?

“(Name) you ready to go?” Suna said suddenly as he approached the two of you with a tired look on his face, more tired looking than usual. He also took a bit longer than usual… Could it have been Rei? No, that’s not any of your business.

“Yeah let’s go” Hugging his mother goodbye, the two of you made your way out the door and towards your house. The walk was silent for a bit until you decided to finally talk to Suna.

“Hey Rin?” You looked up at him as he looked back at you

“Hm?” He hummed back in response.

“Can I ask you something? About Rei..?” The blocker tensed up at this, why did you want to talk about Rei? You hardly ever talked about her.

“What is it?”

“I just… I don’t know if she’s right for you.” You curse at yourself immediately once you finish your sentence. You knew you shouldn’t have worded it like that but it just came out like word vomit.

“Excuse me?” He sounded offended, rightly so though.

“Shit— I’m sorry Rin I didn’t mean it like that” Your eyes went wide at his tone, you immediately try to apologize but he just shuts it down.

“What is that supposed to mean, (Name)This is my relationship, not yours.”

“I know that I’m just trying to warn you—“

“Warn me about what? Fucking hell (Name! you’re like a toddler, you don’t know when to leave me alone. Can you just butt out of my business for once?”

“Butt out? Rin I’m just trying to help you! I don’t think you’ve noticed, but Rei has been so controlling of you! We miss you, the team misses you, I miss you Rin. I just want my best friend back!”

“Yeah, butt out. I want you to mind your own fucking business. So what if you think Rei is controlling? Whether you like it or not Rei is my girlfriend, she’s my top priority. So I’m sorry if I’m not paying attention to you like I used to but I actually have a life.” Ouch. His words stung like salt on an open wound. He knew how to hit you where it hurt.

“Rin that’s not all I’m trying to say.”

“Oh my god (Name) what part of butt out do you not understand? You’re so fucking annoying. I’m sorry that no one wants you but just cause no one wants you doesn’t mean that you have to come and mess with my relationship! What Rei and I do is none of your concern so I’m sorry if you’re unhappy but you get no say in this.”

“Rin do you hear what I’m saying right now? I’m not saying I should have a say in your relationship, I’m trying to warn you. Please just listen to me, you have no idea what I’ve heard about Rei on campus and—“

“You don’t even know Rei, (Name). You’ve put in no effort into talking to her and now you’re just coming at her for no reason!” He got you at the first part. However he was still partially wrong. You tried talking to her at first, but she turned you down and whenever you’d try she looked as if she was going to murder you so you just stopped trying.

“Oh my god Rin why are you always defending her? She’s not always the victim, y’know what she said to me before we left Hyogo?” He seemed confused so he stayed quiet.

“She told me to stay the fuck away from you cause you want nothing to do with me!” He rolled his eyes at you.

“Oh like hell she did! She wouldn’t do something like that, (Name) you’re just insecure and you’re such a fucking cry baby. Can you just grow up?”

“Grow up? I am growing up, Rin. I’m here trying to be the bigger person and help you but you won’t fucking listen to me!” He only scoffs at you

“I don’t need your help, You’ve never done anything to help me.” That was a lie. He knew it was.

“Shut up Rin. You have no idea what you’re talking about. I have been here since day one, through thick and thin and you’re saying I’ve never helped you? I moved to Hyogo with you so that you wouldn’t be by yourself, I made sure you were healthy and on top of grades, I was always there whenever you needed me.” He knew all of this. He knew how much he owed you but he didn’t want to admit it.

“I didn’t ask you to be there.” He shouldn’t have said that, he knew you were there because you wanted to be, he didn’t have to ask you.

“You didn’t have to! Rin you’re my best friend I would’ve gone through hell and back just to make sure you’re okay! I care about you Rin. All I’m asking of you is for you to listen to what I’m saying. I don’t want to see you hurt.” Your heart was aching and your head was throbbing. This conversation was giving you a migraine.

“Can you shut up? I don’t need you nagging about my relationship when you’ve never even been in one. I get it you care or whatever but I could care less, I said it already but I don’t need your help. Can you just accept the fact that you don’t need to be constantly in my life and you don’t have to be butting around all the time? You say Rei is controlling but do you see yourself? This is why I chose to be with Rei instead of you, she doesn’t always bombard and nag me, she actually— “ This was your breaking point. You could bear to hear him belittle you and compare you to someone you’re nothing alike. He doesn’t even know why he was still talking, its like he can’t control his own mouth.

“You know what? I’m done. I’m not doing this anymore, it’s a lost cause because clearly you don’t want to hear me out! I don’t need you comparing me to her. Just leave me alone Suna.” That’s all you said as you walked away from him. He didn’t think you were being serious when you said that last sentence, he didn’t think this argument was enough to end your friendship, but clearly he had no idea about the impact of his words.

When he returned back to his house, he acted as if everything were normal. The two of you have argued before and he was sure it would go back to normal. He had no idea how wrong he was.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

School wasn’t the same since.

Some things were the same though, he was still with Rei, you were still a manager. But the main difference, is that you two aren’t friends anymore. He didn’t think you were being serious. He thought that you two would just take a break and then you’d go back to normal, but clearly that wasn’t going to happen. It seemed like you truly had no intent of speaking to him again.

In fact, it’s been 2 months since the two of you last spoke and his relationship was going down hill rapidly. Everyone on campus could tell something was up but no one dared to ask. All they knew is that you and Suna were no longer friends, and it ached his heart knowing that it’s his fault.

He tried texted you, but you never answered simply just leaving him on read.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

rin: I’m sorry (12/24/12) 11:30 pm

rin: Please pick up(12/25/12) 10:30 am

rin: (Name)?(12/25/12) 10:32 am

rin: Are you okay? (12/25/12) 10:35 am

rin: I know I fucked up just please answer your phone [phone]:39 am

rin: (Name)‼️‼️ (12/25/12) 10:42 am

rin: (Name) if you dont answer the phone. 10:49 am

rin: Yk what fine I’ll leave you alone (12/25/12) 11:13 am

rin: I miss you, I’m sorry. (1/26/13) 12:47 am

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Suna’s thoughts

“I miss my best friend, but it’s my fault she’s even gone in the first place. I’m sure she hates me, but thats my fault too. I’m sorry (Name)”

Every day he regrets that night. He see’s you in the hallway every day and he can’t help but wish he could just go back in time before he said all of that shit. He feels like a total asshole everyday. He knows for a fact his younger self would have hated him for driving you away. When he sees you, he wants nothing more than you hug you just like he used to. He misses seeing you walking happily around his apartment while you two wait on the food you ordered.

He should’ve listened to you and he knew that. He let his anger get the better of him and he blew up on you.

You warned him and he didn’t listen. He wanted to blame Rei for this, but it wasn’t her fault. It was no one’s fault but his. It’s his fault you don’t want to talk to him anymore and he has no one to blame but himself.

Suna Rintaro is a man of many regrets, but hurting you is his greatest regret.

“I don’t know if she’ll ever want to be friends again. I doubt she does, but I’ll be waiting for her anyway, for as long as it takes.”

Or at least thats what he thinks.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

(Name)s thoughts

“Even though I miss him, I need to heal first. I’m not ready to face him yet, but there is no way in hell I’d ever throw away our friendship. We just need time. I asked him to leave me alone and he’s learning to respect that.”

He thinks you hate him, but the truth is you could never hate him. Even if you tried you don’t think you’d ever be able to hate him. Yes he hurt you, but before he hurt you he protected you with all he had. When the two of you moved to Hyogo, he would walk you to school every morning and night just to make sure you were safe. You still see his messages, you haven’t blocked him, and yes it seems cruel but you just need time to heal. You told him not to talk to you again, but you know you’ll come back. Not any time soon, but when the time is right. It won’t be the same as it used to be, but you’d never leave him alone.

You’re upset he didn’t listen to you, but it taught him a lesson. Plus it’s only your second year of high school, high school isn’t forever. One fight isn’t enough to end your 16 years of friendship, in a few years it’ll only be an old wound that healed and turned into a scar.

You miss him just as much as he misses you, but you are waiting patiently for the right time for you to come back but for now, the two of you need time apart to heal.

“He has nothing to worry about, he’s my best friend and no one will ever take that place from him”

Fin~

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

a/n: thinking about making a part 2 with a happy ending

#arins works✒️ #haikyuu #haikyuu angst #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!! #suna rintarou #suna x reader #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintaro x y/n #suna rintaro haikyuu #suna rintaro x you #suna rintaro fic #suna angst #hq suna #suna rintarō #suna rintaro angst

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Comparing you to their Ex-Girlfriend

Kuroo Tetsuro x Fem! Reader; Suna Rintaro x Fem! Reader (she/her pronouns)

Warnings: Angst to Comfort, the boys are MAJOR DICKS, swearing, alcoholism in Kuroos’, Kenma and Osamu taking their shots 😌, in Suna’s reader falls asleep in her car and it obviously looks weird but she’s just sleeping!

A/N: just me, being self-indulgent again 💅 I’m working on trying to improve my descriptive skills and I figured I’d share my attempts

Kuroo

You and Tetsuro had a great relationship. You had both worked hard to establish trust after your previously failed attempts at love. No relationship was perfect and you definitely had your fair share of troubles, often finding yourself disagreeing with your boyfriend over random things. You both had strong opinions and that was ok, you respected each other and made your relationship work.

Both you and Tetsuro worked long hours at your jobs. He was the sports promoter for Japan’s men’s volleyball and you worked hard in your chosen profession. While you had worked hard to establish a distinction between your home and work life, sometimes your boyfriend found it difficult.

He was always working, always scheming up new ways to bring awareness to the sport. His newest venture had been centered on creating an All Stars match featuring some of Japan’s finest players from all around the world.

You loved Tetsuro with your entire heart but you couldn’t help but feel second in his world at times. You understood how important it was to him and how hard he worked but you still struggled with sharing your boyfriend especially when he was at home.

You had been excited for the weekend, having planned an extravagant date for your and Tetsuro’s two year anniversary. He was coming home at 5 pm to shower and get ready, your reservations were set for 7pm at the cities hottest new restaurant. Your mutual friend, Kenma, had helped hook you up with reservations that were extremely hard to come by.

Everything was planned out perfectly, your outfit, makeup and hair were flawless. You had even splurged on a special lingerie set just for tonight. When 5pm rolled around and Tetsuro hadn’t showed up, you messaged him. You figured his meeting had run a little late but you weren’t too concerned. However, when 5:30 then 6 followed by 6:30 and 7 came you became extremely concerned. You hard called him a dozen times, text him well over that, concerned something serious might have happened.

At 7:45pm, the door finally opened as you shot up from your seat on the couch. You watched as your boyfriend strolled in, tie lose and looking exhausted. He set his briefcase down, before taking his shoes off and looking at you.

“Hey baby, sorry I’m late today was ridiculous! What’s for dinner? I’m starving,” he said, removing his tie and walking into your shared bedroom. You stared at him, completely flabbergasted by how he was acting. Had he really forgotten? This had to be some sick joke.

“Tetsuro,” you said as he hummed a response and walked out into the living room.

“Wow babe you look incredible! Did you have a work meeting today?” He said making his way to the kitchen, “are we ordering our tonight? I hope it’s from that dumpling place we got last week!”

You continued to stare at him, your eyes practically drying out from not blinking, “Tetsuro did you forget we were going out tonight?”

He stopped, turning and sighing, “YN I’m so sorry- my boss came into town and he wanted to see how the developments were coming along, I completely spaced it.”

“And you completely spaced answering your phone or at least letting me know you’d be late? I was worried sick Tetsuro!” You shouted, angry not only because your plans were ruined but because he didn’t even think to let you know about what was going on.

“YN it’s not that big of a deal, we can go out to that place anytime. I promise I’ll make it up to you,” he responded as he came closer, extending his arms as you backed away.

“No Tetsuro, you always promise me and you never deliver. I’ve been flexible, I’ve been accommodating because I know you love your job but it seems that I need to be volleyball shaped in order to get any attention!” You shouted as he narrowed his gaze on you.

“YN don’t you think you’re overreacting? You said it yourself, you how important this is to me,” he said as you stood there, mouth agape.

“Tetsuro, I’m asking for you to be a boyfriend to me, to give me a little time and affection and you think I’m over exaggerating?” You yell. You were so mad and you had every right to be. You stood there, staring at him as he shook his head and began to mumble, “speak up Tetsuro! I know you have something you want to say!”

“I never had this problem when I was with Ally! She knew how important my work was and she never bothered me like you do!” He spat out as you reeled back. How could he bring her up? How could he stoop so low as to bring up the one person who had made you fell inferior.

Ally was Tetsuro’s ex girlfriend and his first love. She had broken up with him right after college when she decided to move abroad. When you met him, he was heartbroken and you slowly worked to help mend what she had wrecked and now he had the audacity to bring her up?

You turned, grabbing your keys and your phone and began walking towards the door. You slipped on your heels, opening the door and leaving Tetsuro standing in the kitchen, absolutely stunned at what he had said. He hadn’t thought about her in so long, why did her memory come flooding back in that moment?

He heard the door close as his breath hitched, realizing you had left. “Fuck- FUCK!” He shouted as he quickly grabbed his keys and ran after you, only to find your car gone. He paced in your parking spot, hand pulling at his hair as the words sank in.

Meanwhile, you drove, mascara running freely down your cheeks as you sobbed and pulled up to an apartment building. Getting out, you walked up the stairs and hit the buzzer.

“Hello?” A voice answered

“K-Kenma, it’s Yn! Can I come up please?!?” You cried as the door buzzed and you ran into the building, Kenma meeting you at his door. You fling yourself into his embrace as he rubbed your back.

“YN are you ok? Is Kuroo ok? What happened?!?” Kenma said, panicked as you pulled away.

“He-he was late coming home and we were suppose to go out for dinner for our anniversary. When he came home, he completely forgot about our plans, saying some bullshit about his boss coming or something,” you blubbered out, “and when I confronted him, he got defensive and then- then he said how Ally would have never bothered him about his work!”

You cried harder as Kenma sighed and hugged you close. Kenma knew all about Ally and how she had broken Kuroo. He knew how much he had loved her and how broken he was when she left. He had spent many late nights up with his friend, talking him down from flying across the world for a girl who didn’t want to be with him or picking his friend up, wasted at the bar and puking because of the pain he felt.

However, all of that changed when Kuroo met you. You made him happy again, you made him smile and laugh more than anyone else ever had. Kenma remembers how the memory of Kuroo’s former love faded, and how it was replaced with the love for you. He knew Kuroo loved you more than life itself, but he couldn’t deny how stupid his friend had been.

“Come on in Yn, let’s talk ok?” Kenma said as you nodded and the door behind you closed.

Kuroo sat in your apartment, eyes red with tears as he cried. How could he do something so awful, say something so unforgivable to you? He thought back to before he met you and how he knew his relationship with Ally was ending. He thought about how she pulled away, saying “I love you” less and less until she finally told him she was leaving and wanted to end the relationship. He was so broken, so pained from the experience of losing his first love.

He drank to numb the pain, sometimes staying late at his office and passing out with a whiskey in his hands. He thought he’d never be able to find someone again. Then, like an Angel, you appeared at his office door. You were so beautiful, so incredibly perfect. It was like God himself had placed you there. You helped him pull himself out from the drinking, from the self-loathing into loving himself again. It was because of you that he had become so successful at work, your support always spurring him on.

He rested his head on his hands, looking at his phone as his background lit up from a notification. The picture was of you two on the night he had confessed his love to you. You were both so happy, your smile filling the screen.

He stood up, grabbing his shoes and slipping them on, his keys and phone going to his pocket. He knew exactly where you went, where you always went, where he would go.

It was late when his car pulled up behind yours, relieved he had been right and that you were safe. He ran up the stairs, ringing the buzzer to his friends apartment.

“Come one come on- hello?!?” He said as the button beeped and he swung the door open. Kenma greeted him in the hallway, standing guard at the door with a scowl on his face.

“You’re an idiot,” he said

“I know-”

“Literally the scum of the earth!” Kenma growled

“I know-”

“I should call Bokuto to come kick your ass!” Kenma whisper shouted

“And I’d deserve it,” Kuroo said as he looked at his friend, “I fucked up- I royally fucked up dude and I hate myself. I hate myself for hurting her and I know I don’t deserve her but she deserves to know how sorry I am.”

“Be quiet when you go inside, she’s sleeping,” Kenma said, moving out of the way as Kuroo walked in. He saw you curled up, asleep on the couch as he quietly approached you. Your face was stained with tears, indicating how badly his words stung. He sat down, next to the couch and watched you as Kenma watched from the corner. He gently grazed you face, moving your hair from it.

“YN, baby,” he said as you gently woke up, your eyes softly meet his teary ones, “baby I fucked to so bad and I’m so sorry. I know I hurt you and I know I don’t deserve you. You’ve made my life worth living and I love you so much. I understand if you don’t want to talk to me and I’ll gladly leave the apartment for a while but please, just know how incredibly sorry I am. I’m not going to make any excuses for what I did or said. I shouldn’t have forgotten about your anniversary and I shouldn’t have said such awful things. I’m a terrible boyfriend and you are so fucking incredible. You’ve supported me in everything and I ruined it all.”

You laid there, your eyes tearing up as you listened to him. As much as his words stung, knowing how awful he felt for saying them and what he had done hurt worse. You sat up, reaching for his cheek as you caressed it.

“Tetsu, I love you more than anything and it really hurt me when you said those things. I really try to let you do your job because I know how important it is but I also miss you. I miss seeing you and spending time with you and I just wanted us to have a nice night,” you said, tears flowing as he looked at you.

“I know baby, and I’m so sorry for everything! I promise, no more working late. If I can’t get it done by 5pm, I’ll leave it for the next day. I want to be there for you YN,” he said as you smiled.

“That’s all I ask Tetsuro.”

Suna

You had known Rintarō a while before you started dating the middle blocker. You had always been attracted to him and when he finally asked you out, you were ecstatic.

Your relationship was good and solid. You had your fair share of ups and downs but what relationship didn’t? You and Rin argued occasionally about minor things, sometimes going to bed angry but then eventually sorting out your issue over the next few days. No fight had ever been serious enough to warrant more than the silent treatment for, at max, a day.

Being the girlfriend of a middle blocker for a professional volleyball team was not only exhausting but also time consuming. You always went to Rin’s games, traveling a few hours if you had to just to show your support and while he never explicitly told you, you knew he appreciated it.

Thankfully, his most recent game was at home against a revival team. Rin did exceptional, per the usual, with EJP beating the opposing team in straight sets. You cheered as the men all lined up to thank their fans, as you quickly hurried to the court.

The usual flood of fan girls overran the team as you tried to make your way to your boyfriend. “Hey YN! Thanks for coming out! Rin’s over there,” Washio, Rin’s fellow middle blocker, said as you hugged him and made your way over to your boyfriend.

You smiled and waved as he nodded at you, the girls surrounding him as he tried his best to calm them. “Ladies please,” he said as you stood back, waiting patiently. He would usually come over to you, giving you a kiss and hugging you in front of everyone. You had never been insecure about your relationship, especially knowing Rin was a superstar because he always made time for you.

However, as he continued to smile and sign autographs, you stood there waiting and waiting and waiting. Soon, twenty minutes had passed and Rin hadn’t come up to even acknowledge your existence. You figured he was just excited, this was a big game after all and he definitely deserved to celebrate but when he headed to the locker room, not even acknowledging your existence, that you deflated.

He had never ignored you for this long or failed to acknowledge your presence. You sighed, waiting for him to emerge from the locker room. When he finally did, you wait again as he talked with Komori, the teams Libero. In fact, it wasn’t until Komori waved at you, that Rin finally seemed to acknowledge you were waiting.

“Oh hey babe, I’ll meet you at home ok? Im going out with the guys for dinner!” He said before waving at you and rushing from the gym. You stood there, hands clasped as you nodded, trying hard not to let your emotions take over. Your turned on your heels, heading to your car and going home to your empty apartment.

When Rin finally came home, it was almost 11pm. You sat up, from on the couch as he entered and removed his shoes. “Man I’m beat! Im going to head to bed babe,” he said, kissing the top of your head as you stared at him. He had barely acknowledged you at all tonight and all you wanted to do was celebrate with him.

Since you and Rin had always had an open relationship, you decided that it was best to express your concerns to him. Maybe he just needed to be reminded that you were there to support him.

“Hey Rin, uhh you didn’t hug me or kiss me tonight after the game,” you said, standing in the doorway of the bedroom as he took his shirt off, throwing it beside the laundry basket.

“Yeah sorry I was busy. It was kind of a big night ya know?” he chuckled as he went to your en suite, grabbing his face wash and continuing about his routine.

“It- it just kind of hurt you know? You always kiss me after a game,” you said, playing with your fingers as you looked into the bathroom mirror. You saw him roll his eyes as he shook his hands, grabbing a towel to dry them.

“Geez Yn it was one time for fucks sakes, please tell me you aren’t going to make a big deal out of this and ruin what WAS a good night?” He said, walking out of the bathroom and past you to the bed.

“Rin, I’m not trying to ruin your night, it’s just that, well I’m feeling a little unappreciated I guess,” You said as he looked at you, confusion growing on his face.

“Seriously Yn? You really want to do this now? Im exhausted and I’m not in the mood,” he began to shout as you whinced, not wanting to start anything but knowing what you had to say was important.

“Rin I-”

“You know, Jenna never acted this way after I won a game. I’d come home and she’d let me be!” He spat as you stood frozen. You couldn’t be he had brought her up, of all the people, why her? You felt your body heat up, your emotions overtaking you as you watched Rin get into bed and turn the light off.

How could he have said that? How could he have possibly brought his past girlfriend up? You knew about Rin and Jenna, how they had mutually broken up a few months before you met him. He didn’t seem to hold any animosity towards her but he never talked much about her and certainly he’d never brought her up during a fight.

Slowly backing out of your shared room, you closed the door as your eyes filled with tears. Not only had he utterly tore you down but he brought up someone from his past, something he knew would hurt you.

You mindlessly walked to the kitchen, grabbing your keys and purse before turning off the lights and silently leaving your apartment. You headed to your car, sitting in the drivers seat as the emotions finally hit. You let it all out, whaling as the tears fell in waves. You couldn’t scream, you couldn’t make any noise, everything was caught in your throat as you tried but failed to let it out. Finally, managing a breath, your body shuttered as you screamed, your head resting on your steering wheel as you continued to cry.

Rin tossed and turned in bed, his body exhausted but he couldn’t sleep. He had instantly regretted what he said about his ex, mentally berating himself for ever saying anything. He thought about what you said, about how you felt. He hadn’t meant to ignore you, he had just gotten caught up in all the excitement of winning. He felt like a complete ass, letting you walk out after he had said such awful things.

He noticed the light in the living room was dim, figuring you had just fallen asleep on the couch. He’ll admit this wasn’t the first time you two had slept apart due to a fight but this time he knew it was all his fault. Truthfully, he hated being without you, he hated sleeping alone. He loved how cuddly and soft you were next to him. He loved the feeling of your body and how your love for him poured into everything you did.

He knew how lucky he was, you came to every game, even to the ones that were several hours away. Hell once your even flown to Europe to see him play in an international match. He knew what true love was and how he had failed to show you that.

Looking at the clock, he saw it was 3:00am. He sat up, throwing the covers off as he stood in just his shorts and walked to the door. His plan was to grab you from the couch, hold you and apologize. He would make it up to you tomorrow, taking you out on a fabulous date to show his appreciation for everything you did for him.

He flipped on the hall light, walking out to the living room. He looked to the couch, noticing it was empty. Confused, he turned and headed to the spare bedroom, knowing fully well you never slept in there because “it was only for guests.”

He threw the light on, his eyes widening when you weren’t in there. “YN!” He shouted as he ran back to your shared bedroom, turning the light on and running to the bathroom. There was no sigh of you as he ran to the living room, turning on every light he could.

His hands went to his hair as he frantically raked through it, worried about where you might be. He ran to the kitchen and the guest bathroom, noting no trace of you.

“YN- shit!” He shouted as he turned, noticing your purse and shoes were gone.

“FUCK!”

He raced back to the bedroom, grabbing his phone before hitting your number, “pick up, come on baby pick up!” He packed back and forth, your phone continuing to ring until it finally hit voicemail.

“Fuck!” he shouted, pulling up the only other person he could think as he sat on the edge of his bed and raked through his hair, his knee bouncing as he waited for an answer.

“Hello?” A groggy voice answered.

“Samu! It’s Rin, have you heard from YN?” He spat out

“What? What fucking time is it?” Osamu said as he groaned, “dude it’s 3am! Why the hell would I have heard from YN? She’s your girlfriend!”

“I fucked up Samu, I fucked so bad man and now she’s fucking gone! She’s never left before man, fuck what do I do?!?” Suna panicked as tears began to fill his eyes. You two had fought before but you had never left, in fact you’d never leave without telling him where you’d go.

“What happened?” Osamu said, sounding more awake than before, his voice carrying as he made his way to the kitchen.

“I- I shit man! She was upset because I didn’t kiss her after the game and when she brought it up to me, I brought up how Jenna would never act that way,” he sighed, his head hanging low at the words resurfacing. He thought of what he said making him sick. He never loved Jenna, in fact, his relationship with her was one of convenience. It wasn’t until he met you that he learned what being in a partnership was really like. How it felt to have someone supporting you and being there when you needed them.

“Damn Rin, what the fuck man? Dude that’s low!” Osamu said as Rin nodded his head

“I know I fucking know! She’s gone dude, and she’s not answering her phone! What if something happened to her? Fuck I’ll never be able to live with myself!” He cried as Osamu sighed.

“Ok listen, I’m sure YN is fine. She’s a smart girl. She’s really upset right now and I don’t blame her. You need to give her some breathing space man,” he said as Rin stood up, pacing once more.

“I can’t- I can’t I have to find her! Fuck man I can’t lose her she’s it for me, she’s the one!” He shouted, tears now overflowing.

“Ok, come over and we can regroup here. I’ll try calling her, maybe she’ll answer for me,” he said as Rin quickly threw on his shoes and grabbed his keys, locking the door before running to the elevator.

“I’ll be there in 5,” he said, hanging up as he raced to his car. In the parking garage he noticed your car was still parked next to his, making his heart drop. His worst fears were coming true. You’d never leave without your car, there was no way!

Approaching the spot, he noticed a figure slumped over the steering wheel. His eyes widened, adrenaline racing as he realized that it was you.

“Fuck FUCK!” He screamed as he ran to your door, throwing it open as you shot up, heart pounding as you met the eyes of your boyfriend.

“Rin what-”

No more words escaped as you were tackled in your seat by your giant boyfriend, his cries penetrating the vehicle as he hugged you tight.

“Fuck baby are you ok?? God I’m so fucking sorry! Im the biggest idiot ever to exist and I should have never said any of those things!” He cried as you embraced him, memories slowly coming back to you.

“Rin, where’s your shirt?” You asked as he looked at you, shaking his head and looking down at his shirtless form.

“I couldn’t sleep. I felt like the biggest ass ever and I went to apologize to you. I couldn’t find you and I panicked. I was so afraid you had left me for good Yn. I know I would have deserved it but I don’t think I’ve been so scared in all my life baby!” He said, pulling you close in the awkward space.

You rubbed his back, feeling bad for causing him so much worry. “I’m sorry for leaving but I had to get out, what you said really hurt me,” you said as he looked in your eyes, his heart crushed that he had caused all of this.

“Baby don’t apologize! This is all my fault! I should have never treated you like that. I love you so much and I took advantage of everything you do. I’m sorry for ever saying those things to you. You are the most important person in my entire life and I love you more than you’ll ever know. I know I don’t show you and I’m going to change that baby, I promise!” He said as you caressed his cheek.

“I forgive you Rin,” you said with a small smile as his lips collided with yours as he pulled you close.

“I love you so fucking much Yn!” He said, putting his forehead to yours.

“I love you too Rintaro.”

#kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo testuro #kuroo x female reader #kuroo tetsuro fanfiction #kuroo tetsuro scenarios #kuroo tetsuro fluff #kuroo tetsuro angst #kuroo tetsuro oneshot #kuroo tetsurou #suna rintarou #suna rintarō #suna angst #hq suna #hq kuroo #suna fluff #suna rintaro angst #suna rintaro haikyuu #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintaro fluff #suna rintaro x you #suna rintaro x y/n #suna rintaro fic #hq timeskip #ejp raijin #EJP Suna #haikyuu!! #haikyu! #haikyū!! #haikyu timeskip #haikyu x female reader

[admiringlove]

[4:02]

.

.

.

you could hear your heart, thumping loudly in your ears as you lay bare-bodied in his arms. the covers are cozy and the air is cold, whilst his embrace brings you warmth. his breath fans over your forehead as you, in a sleepy haze look aimlessly at the wall.

gosh, you wish you could turn the time back.

to when, exactly? when did any of this start? a few hours ago, when the two of you were just best friends watching a movie together? not quite, you think. because in truth, you have never been just best friends with suna rintarō. you have always been something more. the line between friends and something has always been blurry, too.

so when could you go back to? that day last month, when he started seriously flirting with you after his relationship with that pretty girl majoring in english ended? you knew he was messing around. as his best friend, you were privy to these things. suna was the type of boy to take his life lightly when it mattered the most. perhaps he regretted it later, but you'd never know. you never knew what thoughts juxtaposed in his mind. the most you could do was predict his actions. which of course, almost always have shitty fucking consequences.

maybe you'd go back to the really rainy day last year, when it was pouring so harshly that the two of you got stuck at the bus stop downtown. sitting together, thighs touching and hands clasped against one another, shivering against the cold while being inches apart from the other's lips. what a day that was. you finally understood that day that you could never really move on from him even if you tried your hardest. he would simply always be there. rin had that effect on people where he would linger like the scent of a cigarette—not leaving someone's mind for days on end.

or really, should you be going back to that time in high school when you first developed a crush on him? walking home together while talking about volleyball, or watching the videos he took of the twins fighting, sharing chuupets and being excited about indirectly kissing. gosh, those were really the days, weren't they? when you'd get giddy when he simply called your name.

yet here you were. in his bed, staring at the off-white wall, wondering if you could ever go back to being those two hopeful kids. maybe you should have pushed him away when he cuddled close. or maybe you shouldn't have come here at all. but you did. you gave and you gave because that's in your nature. and suna? he's a taker, of course. he never took you for granted though. it's what made you trust him with your life.

your heart still thumped loudly, almost banging in your ears. regret is what you felt—because after all these years, all you were good for was some cheap sex around a month and a half after his break-up. it felt filthy to you. maybe not to him, because he laid next to you, sleeping soundly. your mind, however, would not stop running. it's like suna never got tired of being the most important person in your life. your life almost revolved around him, but at the same time, it didn't.

you slowly turned, not wanting to disturb his sleep. in hindsight, you should have just taken his arm off. but you didn't. you choose the hard way out. because his touch would feel like pity that he takes upon you—perhaps that's why you felt so cheated. never in a million years had he looked upon you in this way, even if his words meant something utterly different. you knew he couldn't see you in this light because you were innocently present throughout his life. he probably saw you more as family than the unholy sins you've committed tonight.

you're finally not facing him, your body barely being covered because suna hoards the covers. you sigh, sitting up. the digital clock on the nightstand reads that it is four-twenty-six in the morning. it pains you to stand and get dressed in such a way. you watch him as you swiftly pull on your jeans, and walk out of the room. one glance is all you allow yourself. because you know it's better not to look. it's better not to give into your deepest desires, since you know that none of them will come true anyway. you grab your things and muster up the courage to leave him like that—alone, and bare.

"what're you doing?" you flinch when you hear it. the croaky, yet deep enough voice that sounds almost hazy like a midsummer fever dream. you turn, eyes glassy and lips parted. he looks at you with squinted eyes and a yawn, as he scratches his head. his hair is inevitably a mess, and he adorns nothing but a pair of sweatpants that hang loosely at the lower part of his hip.

"nothing," you mumble, "i just remembered that i have a busy day so i should probably go."

god, stop talking. you wanted to choke yourself. he looked at you as if you'd said something stupid. and suddenly, you felt like a child in front of him.

"you told me you have nothing to do today before we," he clears his throat, "y'know."

"yeah, and now i have things to do," you say, firmly. you want to stand your ground. you refuse to be a puppet in his games. and you refuse to be pitied. suna was always a puzzle to you, finding ways to keep you coming back for more as if he were some sort of sick addiction.

"oh," he says. he's leaning against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest as he watches you grab your things. you look back at him as you sling the bag over your shoulder, car keys jingling in your left hand. he sighs, "well, i won't stop you if you're busy."

that's the thing. you want him to stop you. you want him to grab your wrist just as you're about to leave, and whisper something to you that'll make you stay. you yearn for him to say something. anything. even if it's blatantly platonic and hurtful, you want him to part his stupidly soft lips and stop you. but he does not.

he stays there, watching you walk out of his apartment. the bitterness in your throat spreads across your body, filtering its way deep into your heart. it hurts so much that the pain becomes physically invasive as you sit in the driver's seat of your car and go through the lonely roads. he still lingers like a tattoo kiss in your mind, and you feel idiotic for thinking he could ever love you. the bitter realization that his heart beats for another would underscore your every interaction, like a discordant note in your sweet, imaginative and one-sided symphony. an out-of-tune symphony, perhaps.

and you think, maybe that was all suna was meant to be. someone who uses you so much that you have nothing left to give anymore. you'll always be the peasant that's on their knees, and he'll be the aristocrat that stands up tall with a smirk on his face—ready to take what he wants at all costs.

to yearn, and yet not be yearned for in return, to love, and yet not be loved in return; this was the dreadful burden born in secret tonight, a cruel punishment for your heart that dared to dream of more than just a mere friendship with him. an almost silent agony, etched in the bitter sweetness of love unreturned, in the silence of a night shared with suna rintarō who was simply, devastatingly, just a friend.

based off this request. part two to this fic is now available.

© all works belong to admiringlove on tumblr. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.

#suna rintaro x reader #suna rintarou x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu!! angst #haikyu angst #hq angst #hq!! angst #suna x reader #suna rintarou angst #suna angst #suna rintarō #suna rintarou #suna rintaro angst #suna rintaro x y/n #suna rintaro haikyuu #suna rintaro fluff #haikyuu!! #haikyu #haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagine #haikyu x reader

[kisses4suna]

“it’s just nine months baby. i’ll be back in no time, alright? i love you so much.” rintarou plants a kiss on your forehead, cupping your cheeks. “just nine?” you ask frowning, “just nine.” he responds smiling, although in the back of his head he knows he’ll go crazy not seeing you everyday.

another away game it is. this time longer than you thought it’d be. almost a year without your boyfriend, almost a year without any company, almost a year without your soulmate, your other half. nine months seems like a short time but for you and rin, nine months is just enough time to change someone- good or bad.

you watch as he drags his luggage away, carrying his duffel bag on his shoulder, he turns around and smirks, “i love you” is what you read off from his lips. you give him a small wave, whispering “i love you too” even though you knew he wouldn’t hear you.

nine seconds pass and you’re standing still in place watching his figure enter the plane.

nine minutes pass and you finally snap out of it, texting him a quick “fly safe rin”, you don’t know why you’re being dramatic its just nine months.

nine hours pass and you’re alone in your bed, thinking about how his plane ride is going, japan to argentina is a long time. and here you are alone in bed thinking about it.

nine days pass and you’re on call with him. “how’s training?” you ask smiling. “ugh don’t even remind me.” you could tell he’s tired but he just wants to hear your voice, “get some rest rin, i love you.”

nine weeks pass and you turn on your tv, your boyfriends face on the screen, he’s being interviewed. “Mr. Suna! how is your girlfriend back at home?” hearing those words he smiles and sighs, “she’s doing good, we’re doing good. i miss her a lot..” he says looking down. “Any words for her if she’s watching this back at home?” the interviewer asks, suna takes a deep breath thinking of what to say, “just hang on in there baby, i’ll be back in no time. y/n, i love you.” you smile and text him, “i love you too rin.”, he looks down on his phone during the quick interview and smiles.

every second, every minute, every hour, day, week, month, he thought of you. you thought of him.

nine more weeks till he’s back in your arms.

nine more days till you see the love of your life.

nine more hours till you see him, and you’re driving through the heavy rain, traffic blocks you from getting to the airport.

nine more minutes till his plane lands.

nine more seconds till he comes bursting through the boarding gate.

just nine.

and there he is, running up to you with the biggest grin you’ve ever seen him have.

“hi.” he whispers in your ear. he doesn’t care if he dropped all of his belongings on the floor, seeing you is worth it all. tears form in your eyes, as he cups your face, “i told you i’d be back in no time.”

#kisses4suna #suna rintarou #suna x reader #suna fluff #suna angst #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #suna x y/n #suna rintarō #suna rintaro x reader

[sunarinscumdump]

methamphetamine hydYOUchloride | fluff ft. sunarin & you

-

his parents warned him about alcohol, cigarettes, and all sorts of drugs.

but they never warned him about you.

the sweetest drug to ever exist. one look at your gorgeous smile, his mind would go haywire. his breath would be taken away. his heart would be beating right out of his chest. all his system functions would explode.

but he can't do anything about it.

that's the thing about drugs. you just can't get enough.

as his fingers combed the loose tendrils of your hair, and your eyes lovingly meet his emerald green gaze as you lay down on his lap, him whispering sweet nothings that make you giggle because of your lover's randomness...

his heart flutters as the effects of his drug, you, kicks in again.

sunarin is an addict.

but there's no way he'll ever go to rehab for it.

#hq suna #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintarou #suna x you #suna rintarō #haikyuu suna #suna x reader #suna rintarou smut #suna smut #suna angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu smut #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fic #haikyuu fluff #suna fluff #suna fic #suna fanfiction #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu!!

[renardiererin]

5 minutes. no-- less than that. 2 seconds. it felt like 5 minutes. 2 seconds, that's all it takes to ruin a love built over 2 years. a stupid argument, it was. what was it even about? he wasn't paying enough attention to you at a banquet, maybe? it seemed so small now. the small disagreement had blown open into a scream-fight. the tears wouldn't stop falling down your face, and you were sure the makeup you had done for the event was washed off your face at this point. you stood in your dining room across from rintarou suna; you're still clad in your stilettos and evening gown, and he was still in the tuxedo he'd been wearing. the only difference in outfit since the beginning of the night was that your hand clutch was flung across the room somewhere and the tie to his attire had been untied and was now loosely draped around his neck. it had turned into the two of you yelling about every little thing going wrong in your relationship: how he forgot to pick up the groceries after practice the day before, how you had to make dinner and clean up every night because he was too tired, how he was irritated that you didn't tell him you weren't going to be home the night before, the list goes on. both of you were flinging your arms around to prove your points, screaming at the top of your lungs, filled with nothing but rage towards one another. 2 seconds. the argument itself was bad enough, but nothing that couldn't be resolved, right? it was fine, up until 2 seconds ago. all it takes is 2 seconds for years of building trust, love, respect, a home, and a family was thrown out the window.

"god, y/n, i wish i never fucking loved you!"

2 seconds was all it took. immediately after the words left his lips, his eyes widened and his hand flew to cover his mouth. "i'm so so sorry, please, i didn't mean that. you know i didn't mean that."

but it was too late. you were already picking up your purse, stuffing some extra clothes into a small bag, and walking out the door.

2 seconds and rintarou was sitting against a wall with his head in his hands, barely breathing out of fear that he'd just ruined his life with less than ten words. 2 seconds is all it takes to ruin everything.

#i'm feeling angsty tonight idk why #haikyuu!! #hq #hq imagines #hq x reader #haikyu x reader #hq hcs #rintarou suna #suna rintaro haikyuu #sunarin #suna x reader #haikyuu suna #suna angst #suna headcanons #suna rintaro x reader #sunarin x reader #suna rintarō #hq suna #suna rintarou #suna rintaro x y/n #suna drabble #rintarou suna headcannon #suna haikyuu #suna hcs #rintaro suna #rin #rintarou suna angst #rintaro suna angst #suna rintaro angst #suna rintarou angst

[universalistotalis]

Beautiful Temptation

Suna Rintarou (Haikyuu! Timeskip x Reader)

Masterlist!

Hello! I’m kinda back after a long time! This has been saved in my drafts for so long too, I just had to share it with you all! Hope you give our dear Suna some love! x

!!!Minors do not interact!!!

Warnings: nsfw, language

WC: 930



Suna Rintarou was intoxicated by you. He may have had his fifth drink of the night in his hands but he has been drinking you in ever since you entered the room. And now, he was dizzy.

The alcohol wasn’t kicking in yet, no. The visual of your plump, cute, little figure prancing inside the bar was driving him fucking insane. Never did he think he’d see you wear that short of a dress being so cool and laid back, when at work, you kept everything professional. As he got to know you, he admired you for your work etiquette and quirky personality that he wished, prayed even, that you would swoon for him like all the other women around you. Even just a little…



His eyes were watching you like a hawk all night, memorizing the way you laughed and the way you crumpled your face at every shot you took. He didn’t want to acknowledge it, but he was so whipped, it was unbelievable.



“Let’s goooo!” One of your friends shouted and your group went to the dance floor to have more fun.



He was about to lose his goddamn mind at this point. His pants got tighter at the view of your hips dancing to the blasting beat of the song. Albeit shyly, but damn! He swore he tried his best to look away, it was for your AND his own sake.



But fuck it! Your dress was riding up your thigh and he was already shaking at the amount of soft flesh you were flashing him with.



“Shit.” He cursed your name underneath his breath. You were such a temptation to endure but he didn’t have the strength to fight his feelings tonight. So with one big gulp of his liquid courage, he walked straight to you.



The hand on your hip came as a surprise. You’ve heard stories about this from your friends but it startled you nonetheless. This was your first time partying and you never thought someone would do such a thing. And as you turned around, you never could have thought who had the audacity to lay a finger on you.



“Suna!” Your voice squeaked.



“Hey there, sunshine. Fancy seeing you here.” He smirked, stepping closer and leaning into your ear.



It wasn’t fair how beautiful Suna Rintaro is. You tried your best to always keep your composure around him but sometimes, it was an impossible task. The flashing lights casted highlights and shadows on his pretty face and each time, he seems more irresistible than ever. His smirk never wavered and his touch ignited a fire deep within your soul. And if that wasn’t enough, he sent a wink your way.



You were burning at this point, ready to fucking combust at any moment. Your breath hitched but you recovered quickly and returned his friendliness with a smile. And it may not look like it but that was enough to make him deranged.



“W-what are you doing here?” You stuttered as he took a step closer.



He shrugged his shoulders. “Same as you? I just wanted to have a good time.”



You wanted to wipe the stupid foxy smile on his handsome face. It was ridiculous, the things that he was making you feel. He was so tall and the way his body was dancing to the beat, so graceful and suave, was making you water in the mouth.



Get yourself together!



“Do you come here often?” You asked, breathless, still dazed, running out of things to say.



“No.” He replied, taking your hand as you both swayed to the music. His arm extended upwards, probing you to do a twirl and you did. But as your back faced him, he took the chance of catching your hips and connecting yours with his front. “I’m glad that I’m here the same time as you, though. Aren’t I a lucky guy?”



Hairs on the back of your neck stood up as he breathed on your nape. His lips ghosted on your skin and his hands squeezed at the plush of your waist. You couldn’t help but sigh at his actions, surprised at how good the electricity felt. You leaned further into him, allowing him to give you a full embrace, his warmth encasing your being. It was almost comforting until you felt the wet and stinging sensation of his teeth, his tongue, and his mouth on your neck. He then sucked unapologetically and there was nothing you could do but extend and expose everything you had for him.



“Hmm, you like that, sweetheart?” He chuckled, not missing the hitch on your breath. His hands didn’t waste a second of pushing you more onto him, losing all sanity at your proximity. “God, fuck! You have no idea how much I’ve wanted you. I can’t keep hiding myself from you any longer.”



His whispers were so aggressive, mimicking his death grip on your skin. His hips bucked and pushed harder onto your ass making his bulge known.



You have never felt so wanton! This was so wrong yet so right! Your head was swimming from all the new sensations that he brings. And it doesn’t help that you wanted him to death too! This was what your fantasies were made of! Him touching you in places for you to reach euphoria…



“Fuck.” You cursed, softly as you felt his fingers swiftly touch your breasts.



He chuckled, the sound vibrating on your back. “Oh, baby, what I’d give to hear you scream that for me.”



A whimper left you again as he turned you around to face him. “Please, go home with me tonight, angel. I promise to take care of you.”



“S-suna, I—“



“Please.” He pleaded, kissing your forehead. “Please, I need you so bad.”



You licked your lips, not knowing what to say. “I-i’ve never done this before.” You whispered and stuttered.



Suna tucked your hair behind your ears and gave you a sincere smile as he said your name. “No need to worry about that, I’ve got you. I swear I’ll take such good care of you… if you’ll let me.”



With your lips almost touching, you lost all inhibitions.



So you nodded and agreed to his beautiful temptation.

—

Masterlist!



HAVE YALL SEEN THAT MAN IN THE FUTURE GODDAMN! I AM SEATED SIR!

had to repost this just because :( hope you enjoyed and lmk whatcha think! <3

#haikyuu!! #haikyu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu smut #suna rintarō #suna rintaro fic #suna x you #suna rintaro x reader #suna x reader #suna smut #suna rintarou #suna headcanons #suna angst #sunarin #suna rintarou x reader #rintarou suna #suna rintaro fluff #suna rintaro smut #suna rintaro x y/n #suna rintaro imagine #suna rintarou smut #suna rintarou x you #inarizaki #haikyuu headcanons #suna rintaro scenarios #suna rintaro angst #suna rintaro x you #suna rintaro haikyuu #hq suna

[kumottai]

saying things that hurt.

no names; saying things that might hurt our loved ones.

what felt like a few minutes started to feel like hours, unaware of what we were arguing about in the first place. our voices clashed as we attempted to defend ourselves, too prideful to give in to whatever had triggered this mishap.

“well i can never get what i want.” he huffed, looking away. i kissed my teeth, annoyed at the lacking exposition. “what do you mean?”

“what i mean is that i can’t get what i want here because i’m always trying to cater to you. i can tell you’re so clingy towards me.”

the upcoming inspiration caught stuck in the middle of my throat, failing to process the justification he gave for his actions. i never wanted to shut up more than i did right now, feeling that breath still stuck halfway through. awkward shuffling came from his end, seeing him come closer to me in my peripherals. “hey, i was just being honest.”

i pursed my lips, feeling the water rise just above the surface of my tear ducts. i looked at him and chuckled, a dry laugh that had no humour in it— empty. “wow,” i finally exasperated, “then i’m sorry.”

“what?” 

“i’m sorry for... doing that to you then. i don’t know how or when i’ll be completely better with my issues, but i’m sorry for putting you in that position.” 

i walked away into the bedroom, grabbing a few of my things and stuffing them into a random bag i found nearby. 

“where are you going?” he mumbled, trying to stop me from packing anything more.

“giving you a place where you can get what you want.”

because love, in the end, your happiness is everything, even if i am not in the same room as you. 

#haikyuu x reader #diamond no ace x reader #kuroko no basket x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #blue lock x reader #relationship advice #relationships #suna rintaro #keshi #haikyuu angst #miyuki kazuya #suna rintarō

[t4kalcvr]

BEHIND THE PHONE — s. kita smau

PAIRING : shinsuke kita x fem reader

SYNOPSIS : After bumping into a familiar rising social media star, the elite 4 try to confirm her true identity, also discovering in the process that a little oreo haired friend seems to have caught his first crush. This suddenly took a turn from identifying her to setting them up. Who knew that Suna was connected to her the whole time? Cause he didn’t.

GENRE : SMAU, crack ??, fluff, angsty if you squint

FEATURING : ( inarizaki ) suna + miya twins + kita, ( karasuno ) daichi !!

WARNINGS : none.

STATUS : ongoing

TAGLIST ( OPEN )

PROFILES takes 3 to spill the tea | elite 4

CHAPTERS

01 — Oh lawd.

02 — Captains talk!

03 — Karasuno Guy?

04 — THE RIGHT THING…?

05 — Unbekiable.

06 — We will never speak of this.

07 — Who even are you?

08 — The Talk.

09 — I can hear the tears.

10 — Please come over.

↳ extra : luna is my 4lifer

11 — THIS BITCH TOOK MY CAR.

12 — I think I just combusted.

13 — mom i want this one

↳ part 2 :

↳ part 3 :

14 —

15 —

…indeterminate

bookshelf

Tag list 🏷️ :: @idkanymorebuthere @iamapotat @midnightemy35 @alienvarmint @cillshot @sukunasrealgf @lycheesuwa @zenilili @kurenix @tkooooop @k0z3me @universal-s1ut @mistcloud2

copyright © t4kalcvr 2023 all rights reserved

#📱—BEHIND THE PHONE! #𝐁𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐅 …+.* #anime #anime fanfic #anime fanfiction #fanfiction #haikyuu!! #kita shinsuke #hq suna #kita x reader #kita x you #kita x y/n #miya twins #miya osamu #miya atsumu #suna rintarō #haikyuu daichi #haikyuu fluff #angst #haikyuu smau #crack #haikyuu #haikyū!! #haikyuu smau series #crack fic #haikyu x reader #shinsuke kita x reader #fluff #suna rintaro haikyuu

[spliffymae]

let u decide, rintarō suna

synopsis: some days you loved him, others you wish you never met him. some days he hated the fact you were simply breathing, other days he wanted to be against your chest, listening to your heartbeat. he’s your ex—your ex friend, your ex fling, your ex boyfriend. you should be moving on! so why are you still with him?

⚠️mentions of drug use, swearing, exboyfriend!suna, plug!suna, on/off again relationship, arguing, guilt tripping, gaslighting, inconclusive ending.

kio’s notes - here’s my intro to the haikyuu fic world! also the ending is intended to be the way it is. the goal is to have you (the reader aka y/n) to determine their fate w suna. y’all gonna continue the cycle or break it?

⊱ ──────── {.⋅ ✺ ⋅.}──────── ⊰

it was one of those nights again. where the weather was chilly, winds blowing any which way. the sky was painted a midnight blue, with purplish clouds. you were sitting in your room, face in your plush penguin as you listened to a video lecture. you were doing homework, struggling to even care about the subject at hand.

if it wasn’t a requirement for your major, you would have never even stepped foot in the classroom. because what fresh hell is this?

anyways—

you were listening to your professor give an example of some term he just said, you don’t know. you had tapped out and were now just waiting for the motivation to hit you again. but that atten got pulled away the minute your phone vibrated from beside your computer. you got a text.

rō🔌🖤🏐

i’m outside.

you furrowed your brows at the message. you now were up from your bed, in front of your window to look down into your complex’s parking lot. low and behold, in the spot reserved for your apartment was suna’s matte black bmw xm.

you let out a deep sigh before turning to your laptop and pushing your finger on the space key to pause the video. thankfully you weren’t in your typical loungewear of shorts and an oversized shirt, but rather black yoga pants and a black hoodie. it was a different level of chili today, so your feet being in warm fuzzy socks were fine outside in the cold. great for you, since the only shoes you could slip them into were your beige crocs.

when you locked up your house, you quickly jogged down the stairs and to his car, wanting to get whatever it was he wanted over.

what was once suna stopping by whenever and coming up to your front door was now you meeting him at his car like his other clients.

you walked to his window, tapping your nail against it to pull his attention from his phone. when he looked up at you, he gave you a lazy smile. he gestured for you to go around and come in, which made you raise your brows. he normally would just roll down his window and hand you the sandwich bag with your weed in it.

you give him the same look you gave him from upstairs and he just chuckled in response, signaling for you to go around once more. because he knew you’d listen.

and when you sat in the passenger seat with your back pressed against the door with an irritated look on your face, he still kept the smirk on his face. “happy to see me?”

“i was doing homework.” you intended to make him feel bad for disturbing your studies. after all, as a fellow scholarship student, suna should know how important it is to be consistent in one’s studies. however, because suna also knew you, he knew you were completely and utterly bullshitting.

“righttt, anyways i got your stuff.” he leaned over to your side of the car, pushing the button to open his glove compartment. he was close, his upper body stretching over your legs to retrieve whatever.

“i didn’t order anything from you. i still have from—.” but you were cut off when you saw a bag with ten, thick and tightly rolled spliffs.

suna smiled, “sure? swore i saw sum on your twitter today about ‘needin’ a blunt and a booty rub?” he quirked up a brow, his fox eyes shining with mischief.

you rolled your eyes with a scoff, “it was a retweet. and it was addressed to no one in particular, nosey ass.” he didn’t pay the name any mind. he never did when you would mock him. he instead just nodded, chuckling at how quick your defense came.

“uh huh, well here. figure you’re almost out of the other one i gave you.” he pushed the bag to you, dropping it on your lap. the smell was potent, each spliff had to have maybe two to four grams worth inside.

you pulled out your phone from you pants pocket, using your face id to open it, “how much you want for it? i just paid rent so if it’s anything more than a bill, ima have to hand it back.” you went to your messages with him tapping on your apple pay.

“i just want you to smoke one with me. no money.” he leaned his head back against the headrest, looking at you with tired but hopeful eyes.

it sounded like a simple request, but you know what came with it. the flirtatious banter and innuendos. circling around the topic of your relationship but never diving in. the stories of all the demons he’s been fighting. how he wishes you would come back to him.

you were his person after all. no one understood suna quite like you. you had a lifetime-lasting ticket to suna. from who he was to what he liked, his coping mechanisms, his defense ones; his favorite things, his most hated moments…you knew him probably better than he knew himself.

but you should tell him no. you should thank him for the offer but push the bag back into his possession. you should decline and leave the car. leave and break the cycle you found yourself in. this toxic reconciliation cycle.

but he was right. you were almost out, and you were planning to text him for a re-up anyways. and his car was really warm in comparison to outside. why waste a few moments of warming up?

after all, suna was always there when you needed him, weed-related needs aside. like when you had missed the bus and was running late to class (one you had to go to because there was an in-class assignment), you called suna and in five minutes he arrived to your apartment to take you to class. and he even waited until you finished to treat you to ice cream. he was also your go-to whenever you were sad—or even when you wanted to share good news with somebody.

so because of this, it was easy for you to relax back in the car seat, pulling one of the spliffs out of the bag with a huff. “you have a light?” you ask him with your hand out towards him, opened and waiting for him to put whatever bic lighter he had in his cup holder in your hand.

suna instead plucked the spliff from your fingers, and when he noticed your irritated face, he shrugged, “whoever rolls lights first. otherwise it’s bad luck for ‘em. you want me to have bad luck, yeah?” he had a smirk, taunting you with glimmer in his eyes and wiggling brows.

you would normally be playful back, usually biting the bullet and letting suna’s stupid jokes win you over. however, this time wasn’t like the other times.

you were really mad at him.

he had been seen around campus with like three different girls, all under his arm with hearts in their eyes looking at him. yes, you two were no longer together, but you still had a habit of being jealous whenever you saw or heard of new women in suna’s life.

and then on your way home today, as you passed by the usual coffee shop that was in between your college and your home, you saw through the window none other than suna, holding hands with a woman you didn’t know, but knew you hated. their hands were on the table, his thumb rubbing the back of hers and staring intently into her eyes. you couldn’t make out what he was saying, but by the way the girl tucked some hair behind her ear and looked down to avoid suna’s gaze, you could tell what type of conversation they were having.

“yes.” you said quietly, just as he slapped a lighter into your hand. he wasn’t thinking that you’d respond, let alone actually answering the question. but when he heard it, he looked up with his brows furrowed.

“now that’s just mean, sunshine. y’know you oughta be nicer to me. i’m a sensitive soul, remember.” he said with a pout and hand to his heart.

you rolled your eyes, “whatever suna.” you glanced down at the lighter in your hand. it was a gold zippo lighter. engraved on it was ‘if my soul was a spliff, you’d be like… the flame to it.’ —something you had said to him when you two were together, cuddled up in bed and off some pot brownies you bought from osamu.

“y’know,” you started, low eyes watching the screen before you as you lied on suna’s chest, arms wrapped around him. he was sitting up in the bed, running his finger back and forth on your arm. he put on bobs burgers, the two of you really wanting it for more background noise then entertainment.

“if my soul was a spliff, you’d be like…the flame to it.” your face was pressed against his chest so your words were a bit muffled, but he heard you and immediately cracked up in fits of laughter.

“no more edibles for you, sunshine.” he said with a giggle, secretly loving what you said. his cheeks started to get warm, and he was happy you weren’t focused on his face so you couldn’t see him. but he didn’t realize you could hear his heartbeat pick up.

“you still have this?” you asked him, looking at the engraved words, rubbing a finger over them. you gifted the lighter to him as a spontaneous and romantic gift. because of his…line of work, suna was always showering you with gifts. if he was out and saw something that reminded him of you? he got it. saw you glancing just a little too much at something in a store window? it’s yours in the next five minutes.

so how do you top a lot of small gifts? with one big, meaningful, romantic gift. and it just so happened to be an engraved lighter with the first time you ever told him what he meant to you.

suna shrugged, putting the spliff between his lips. “some chick told me refillable is to show how our love will never end. thought she was a sappy thing, that one.” he said. when he watched the way your face dropped at his choice of words, he laughed.

“but i think she was onto something.” he took your wrist, bringing it to him so you could light his spliff. you flicked open the top and did as he wanted, watching the cherry form at the end of the spliff. suna always rolled the spliff around the flame, burning it evenly to avoid it canoeing.

he looked at you through his lashes as you lit the spliff, his honey colored, fox eyes glowing with the help of the flame. your eyes looked to his for a moment, and when you met his gaze, you felt a rush through your body.

when it was good, you moved back quickly, closing the lighter but still keeping it in your hand. you squeezed it, a lame way to channel whatever feeling entered your body. it was either squeezing the lighter or your thighs, and lord only knows the ego suna would get if he caught that.

you cleared your throat, “she might’ve just been dumb and in love.” you mumbled as a response. it wasn’t like your rebuttal wasn’t true. when it had come down to it, you were an honors student with a 3.4 gpa. you were going to go in your future career as a dominating force, immovable. so why the hell was your brain so empty when it came to suna? why was it so easy for him to takeover your world?

“you think it was dumb?”

“i think it was unrealistic. love can end.” you didn’t make eye contact with him. you just stared at the lighter.

suna shook his head and clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth. “not ours, y/n. we’re too strong to end.” he passed you the spliff, blowing the smoke he inhaled out. you accepted it and took a long pull, feeling the smoke fill your chest.

when you exhaled, a scoff followed after, “you didn’t seem to think that when you had all those women under you on campus, though. you’ve curated quite the fan club from what i’ve seen.”

“your jealousy is flattering, sunshine. but i only have eyes for you.” suna didn’t take you seriously, he never did when you got jealous.

this time, you forced a laugh in response. “ha! there’s no way you’re saying that to me after i literally saw you with another girl at what used to be our place. starin’ at the bitch like she was all that.” you took one last pull before handing the spliff back to him. you folded your arms, sucking your teeth with a pout. “i’m not blind, suna.” you finished, letting him know that you will be addressing what you saw today.

suna was never one for confrontation—honestly, his reasoning was simply because he never cared enough to. but then he met you, and his entire self flipped on its axis. before, when faced with a situation suna didn’t let it stress him past the moment. you hated how nonchalant he was, but he told you it was just his nature.

but you were everything against suna’s nature. you weren’t nonchalant, you weren’t the calm and reasonable type. when you got angry you would see red and your mouth would grow hot with insults for whoever pissed you off and then some. and soon enough, some of your short-tempered ways transferred to suna. he never got to the ‘seeing red’ level, but it was fair to say he would be on the borderline every now and again.

before, when you’d bring up any problems you had about suna, he would be with folded arms and a straight face, either sitting or standing. he wouldn’t egg you on or snap at you, rather he would just take a deep breath and take full accountability, apologizing and moving on.

but now? ohhh! say something to him. no, really—suna wants you to try him. he wants nothing more than for you to keep the rather bitter and hostile energy you had towards him so that he could take it and give it back to you.

suna rolled his eyes in response, “and i’m not deaf y/n. so give me a break! as if you’re innocent? like i don’t hear how atsumu stays calling you names like ‘sweatheart’ and ‘baby’ whenever you’re in his radius? or how he can’t shut up in the locker room about how cute you looked? you’re throwing stones from a glass house, y/n.” his tone was condescending, talking down to you almost.

“oh! and let’s not forget how every fuckin’ time we face his school, you think kai is a goddamn comedian. all giggly and ‘kaiii stop’.” he imitated the way you would be around kai, how you would playfully push him away with giggles leaving your lips when kai would ask when you would stop playing and let him take you out.

you huffed, “that’s not the same as all these bitches being under you! do you see me cuddled up w tsumu? or holding hands on a date with kai?!”

despite the two of you in a heated argument, you continued to share the spliff properly. following the instruction, “puff puff pass” and handing it off when the other needed it. you both were annoyed that you had to go into a high mad at each other, but you couldn’t help it.

“we’re not together anymore, y/n! you have no right to be jealous when all i’m doing is living my life! if i wanna go on a date then ima go on a date. if i wanna walk around campus with some girl then i’ll do that. you just said our love isn’t strong, but now i can’t move on? make that make sense…”

you pushed your lips out, nodding at his words. not because you agreed, but because you were going to be on some petty shit (since that’s obviously what he wanted to do). “ight.” you simply said, taking the spliff from him while at the same time opening your phone.

the car grew quiet after that, you didn’t leave, and suna didn’t say anything more. he simply watched as you tapped away on your phone with one hand while you smoked with the other.

you soon handed him back the spliff, only glancing at him to see if he’d take it. he did, but there was no doubt he did with hesitation, wondering what you were thinking. he decided to just shelf it, maybe let the moment settle and apologize for his outburst.

but all that went flying out the window when he heard the voice of kai nobuyuki come from your phone.

“baby, just text me whenever you’re ready and i’ll come get you. i gotta see you in that lil’ teal number. you’re killing me here.”

and suna finally saw red.

he snatched your phone from your hand, giving you no time to process what happened until he was out the car, reading through your messages with kai.

“what the hell is he texting you at midnight for?” suna asked as he scrolled up to a conversation you and kai had a last night. “ ‘that picture of you has been doing something to me’ ?? what fucking picture did you send him, huh?!” he tried to scroll up to find it, but it was gone, all he saw was the message you sent along with it,

y/n

do you like it? 🥹i thought of you when i bought it

“suna what the fuck!” you climbed out the car, walking around to grab your phone from him. but suna was a step ahead of you, running to the other side as you came around. “you just told me i don’t have the right to be jealous. hypocrite!”

suna didn’t respond to you, not when he was too focused on going to your photos to find the date of the conversation, hoping to find the photo. your camera roll was filled with memes and pictures of you, some goofy ones you took to send to your friends group chat, some aesthetically pleasing ones for your social media, and just random ones. one suna wanted to make his lockscreen because he missed turning on his phone and seeing your face.

when he found the date that matched with your message, there was a picture of you standing in a store, taking a mirror selfie. you were wearing a black skirt, converse and a white nike crewneck; your bum length braids were tied half up half down as you snapped the picture, glossed lips puckered and fingers up in a peace sign.

it should be a normal picture, one suna should’ve just glanced over. but what caught his attention was the store you were in. it was your favorite place to shop, and you were standing in the lingerie section of the establishment.

“so we buyin’ lingerie for other people now? are you out of your mind?!” he yelled. he swiped, and there was a picture taken from your room. you were bending facing the phone, the shot only capturing your pouty lips and figure in the black lace lingerie set. your cleavage was on full display, with your hand cupping you right breast, french tip acrylics contrasting with the black lace.

he swiped again. you were in a teal, babydoll nightgown, posing with your back to the mirror as you ever so slightly lifted up one side of the dress, showcasing just a peek of your ass. it was enough to get his dick to twitch, and if it did that to him, he could only imagine what seeing you like this did to kai. suna was fuming. this had to have been the photo kai got.

a dark chuckle left suna’s lips, one that surprised both you and him. you hadn’t heard something like this come from him. usually when he was mad he would disassociate himself from the situation, but he wasn’t just mad this time.

he was downright pissed!

“rintarō, you said it yourself we’re done—.”

“because it’s what you wanted me to say. just like how you said our love isn’t forever and that it was dumb and unrealistic. that’s what you said! so of course i’m not going to oppose.”

“and you taking my phone is showing me…that i’m wrong?” you asked with a quizzical look, taunting him. “because this just seems to me like i’m right. like you said, we can move on. since that’s what you wanna do then let me do it.”

suna felt like he was losing his mind, “are you dumb?” he asked, getting you to blink in confusion. “like have you actually smoked your last brain cell? i don’t want to move on, y/n! why the hell do you think i still come here? i still sell to you?” he stepped closer to you. “every fucking time i try there you are. stupid eyes just calling me back, every. damn. time. i try another girl, i end up seeing you. i want to fuck on someone new? my dick can’t get up unless it’s to you. i physically cannot move on. ”

you immediately rolled your eyes. suna had played this game one too many times with you. went on a whole ramble about how you plagued his mind when you two weren’t together. at first you bought it. the second time too because he laid it on thick. but now? you were immune.

fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me…

“am i supposed to believe that? like i didn’t see what i saw today? because it physically looked like you were capable of moving on to me.”

“and what you’re not?” suna was practically spoon feeding you the attitude you were giving him. “because kai would attest to that.” he waved your phone in your face, still opened on the messages with you and kai. you tried to reach for it, but suna was taller than you by a decent amount so he simply raised his hand, stopping you from getting it. you glared at him. neither of you said anything. you just stared at one another in angry silence.

this always happens! every couple months or so, you and suna part ways and do what is a poor attempt at moving on. it never works out though—maybe will last a month at most, but always ends up with one of you in the other’s bedroom, taking hits of his dab pen and cuddled up, back together once again.

it was like you two had built-in magnets for each other. no matter how far you tried to go, no matter how big a gap suna would put between you two, you would always come back to one another.

so would this time be any different?

#🌞🍃spliffymae #hq(／_^)／ ● ⊥ #suna x black reader #suna rintaro x black reader #suna rintaro x black y/n #suna rintarō #i will mention smoking a lot #haikyuu #haikyu x reader #haikyu x black reader #angst #anime x black!reader #plug suna #toxic suna #toxic reader