k4g3hika

[k4g3hika]

eddie x shy!reader , she asks him on a date by giving him tickets to a concert and he thinks its a joke til she walks away feeling rejected & he realizes she’s like dead serious & goes up to her

thanks for your request! i sorta broke my own heart with this one — the one where eddie rejects you and immediately regrets it (shy!reader, hurt/comfort, 2.6k)

bug's summer fic fest ♡

Robin tells you that he’s nice. She says he won’t turn you down because he loves Mötley Crüe too much and he’s called you pretty too many times. Robin Buckley is many things — a dork, a polyglot, and your best friend, to name a few — but she’s never been a liar.

She wouldn’t lead you to the slaughter that way. She wouldn’t just let you get your heart broken. More than anything, though, she knows Eddie far better than you do — partly because she’s actually able to talk to him.

So despite your lingering worry, you swallow her words like a shot of vodka and maneuver helplessly through the bustling crowd of the Hawkins High lunchroom.

Eddie Munson sits alone at the Hellfire Club table — the smallest one in the very back corner by the large square window. 

Instead of eating a real meal (even though the hamburgers might be horse meat instead of cow), the boy eats crumbled-up pretzels from a worn ziplock bag. He pinches them into his mouth blindly because his chocolate syrup gaze is trained on the well-loved book folded in his left hand. 

J.R.R Tolkien’s, The Hobbit.

It makes you smile softly to yourself. You hope one day you’ll have the courage to tell him you’ve read that book so many times you could recite it in your sleep. You hope that day comes soon.

“Eddie?” you call softly to him when you reach his table. Your sweaty fingers fidget with the concert tickets you clutch between them.

He just thinks he hears his name at first. It’s barely audible over the sounds of muddled chatter in the cafeteria. He glances up from his book, not expecting anyone to be there, and gaping when he finds you standing in front of him. 

His cinnamon eyes go wide. The boy blinks owlishly at you once, then flits his eyes behind you like he’s expecting to see someone there. When he doesn’t, he blinks at you again. 

“Hi…” you waver with a trembling smile.

Eddie grins back, still obviously confused. “…Hi?”

“I, uh… I don’t know if you heard, but— well, obviously you heard, that’s… that’s stupid,” you laugh at yourself, shaking your head with your eyes squeezed shut. You’re already stumbling all over yourself, and you haven’t even managed a full sentence yet.

“Mötley Crüe is coming to Indianapolis in a few days, and a friend of mine was selling tickets, so I bought them. For us. Potentially. You know, if you wanted to… to go… With me.”

Your offer lingers and hangs in the air between the two of you.

A smile quirks at the right side of Eddie’s pink mouth. It isn’t a kind one, though. It looks more cynical than anything else.

His head juts back. He’s almost peering at you from the corner of his eye as though you were some suspicious thing he needed to analyze. A laugh sputters from his lips. “Did Buckley put you up to this? Is that what this is?”

Your faltering smile fades entirely. Your features crumble in disappointment.

This worse he could say is no, Robin had told you. 

You hadn’t prepared yourself for this.

“…What?” you wonder, voice fragile like a wilting flower petal.

Eddie chuckles to himself. He sets the book down to give you his full attention, though you’re not sure you want it anymore. “You know, I knew she was upset about me trying to set her up with Vickie and all, but this is a… whole new low.”

“Vickie…?” you murmur through a tightening throat, brows pinched in confusion. “I don’t understand—”

“Look, sweetheart… Tell Robin that this was a real funny joke, but I’m not interested, alright?”

Your chest aches with an empty feeling. You think your heart might be breaking. “J—Joke?”

“—Actually, tell her that this was very not metal of her, and that I will get my vengeance,” Eddie says with a sardonic laugh deeply rooted in his chest. His smile looks almost like he pities you as he shakes his head, eyes twinkling with pessimism. “I’m sorry she sent you to do her dirty work, but… You should probably go now. This is, you know, the Hellfire Club table and everything, so…”

You swallow thickly, then nod.

Eddie doesn’t want you here. Eddie doesn’t want you at all.

“I’m— I’m sorry if I…” The words get caught in your throat. You clear it and blink back burning tears. “I was just… I thought that maybe—”

“Eddie!” a boyish voice calls from across the cafeteria, only halfway drowned out through all the noise. A group of guys in Hellfire shirts walk towards the table.

You take that as your cue to leave. You don’t want to burst into tears in front of your crush and all of his friends.

“I’m sorry,” is all you manage to choke out before turning on your heel and walking away.

He’d been smiling up until that point — like it was all a big joke to him — because it was. 

The girl he’s been fawning over since junior year comes out of nowhere with tickets to see one of his favorite bands? That was the kind of shit he dreamt about — the kind of plan only someone as vicious as Robin Buckley could concoct to hurt his feelings. And after spending so many years being the brunt of bullies, Eddie was tired of being embarrassed.

And at first, he thought you were just a really good actor. You did look almost genuinely confused when he’d snuffed out the plan so quickly. But those wide, glassy eyes you looked at him with — he doesn’t know if a person can fake that sort of heartbreak. That looked real.

Eddie had been close to commending himself for not letting Robin win. He thought he was a genius for not allowing Buckley to use you against him. Now he knows he’s the same dumbass he's always been.

“Hey, man…” Gareth wavers as he sits at his designated seat adjacent to Eddie’s. The boy’s forlorn and faraway gaze doesn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the club. They all share looks of confusion, but the sandy-haired boy is the only one brave enough to speak up. “You okay?”

Eddie keeps his gaze trained on your figure as you maneuver through the crowd. Robin looks happy for you when you reach her, but the puppy-like excitement washes away when she notices how sad you are. 

He feels like someone’s shoved a knife between his ribcage. He wonders if this is what a broken heart feels like.

“I think I screwed up,” he answers, laughing cynically at himself. “Like, big time.”

“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time, right?” Dustin jokes before popping a fry into his mouth. He laughs, but no one else joins him. “…Right?”

Eddie glares at the boy.

He cowers. “…Kidding. I was kidding.”

—————

He stews over it all day — your offer and what he said to you and how sad you looked after he said it. 

He pictures your pinched brows and big, glassy eyes and his chest starts to burn a little. Everyone always thought he was some raging asshole just because he had crazy hair and a crazier taste in music. Now he feels like they were sort of right about him. 

Whatever chance he had with you has surely turned to dust by now. It wouldn’t surprise him after he shrugged you off like he did. But after waging a nearly four-hour war in his mind between lunch and dismissal, he knows he has to make sure. 

He has to know if he’s ruined things entirely or if there’s a glimmer of hope he can hang onto.

He comes to you at the end of the day, dripping in metaphorical blood from the mental carnage he’d endured. He stood across the hall from you for five whole minutes as he tried to come up with something to say. He walks to your locker empty-handed and just blurts, “I thought you were joking,” like a total idiot.

Through the muddled conversation in the bustling hallway, you hadn’t heard him coming. You didn’t know he was there at all until he was right next to you. Seeing someone so suddenly close to you makes you flinch — hard.

And it’s not totally Eddie’s fault. You’re jumpy and too easily frightened at times, but he can’t help but feel like he’s messing things up more than he already has.

“Oh…” you deflate with a sigh, eyes still wide and swimming with something he can’t quite place. You look like you’re almost relieved to see him. Almost. 

“Sorry— shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to…” The boy stumbles over his words, then trails off when they don’t come out the way he wants. He shakes his head and finds it in himself to smile. It’s bitter, though, filled with self-abhorrence. “I wasn’t trying to scare you.”

With one hand still clutching the door of your locker, and the other gripping a stack of textbooks, you peer at him through your lashes. “I know. It’s okay. I just— I wasn’t expecting it…”

He grimaces. “Sorry…”

“’S okay,” you repeat.

“I, um, I only came in so hot ‘cause I wanted to apologize— you know, for earlier. In the lunch room,” he stammers and puts his fidgeting hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. He tries to laugh, but it comes out more as an insincere puff of air. “Honestly, I thought you were joking.”

Your brows pinch. “Joking? Why would I—”

“I sorta locked Robin and Vickie in the old chemistry room in the east wing a few days ago,” he confesses, bouncing his shoulders. “Just because I know they both like each other and everything, and I thought maybe they’d finally admit it if they were alone together.”

“Okay…?” 

“Well, they didn’t. And Robin was pissed. So I thought she was using you to get back at me.”

“Using me?” you echo.

“Yeah. ‘Cause I’ve kinda been into you since junior year and everything,” he admits with a nonchalant shrug. The corner of his rosy mouth quirks into a half-smile. “It’s, like, the one card Robin could use against me that would actually hurt, you know? If she did try to get me back.”

Your heart swells so much it hurts, almost — the same kind of hurt you'd felt in the lunch room earlier. It feels fiery, like someone’s taken a match to your ribcage and lit your heart aglow. But it’s different now. This is a good hurt, a happy hurt.

“Really?” you squint at him, your voice high and light. Your lips twitch like you want to smile, but you don’t let yourself — lest this all turns out to be some kind of elaborate dream. Or a joke.

“Since we had Mr. Kaminsky’s together, yeah,” Eddie affirms with a slow, confident nod. His chocolate eyes flit up to the water-stained ceiling. “Let’s see… We were learning about reproduction, and Tommy Hagan made some stupid joke about using you as a real-life model instead of the pictures in the textbook—”

“I remember,” you nod, trying not to shudder at the memory that still haunts you. 

“And I told him that he was making it real obvious that he’s never seen an actual vagina before and that the one in the textbook looked a lot like his mom’s,” the boy recalls with a soft laugh. “And you looked over at me, and you smiled, and I… have been a goner ever since.”

He looks down at you again, all sheepish like he isn’t gluing your broken heart back together again. His chocolate eyes twinkle in a way you’ve never seen before. They sparkle in their softness. You have to look away before it turns you into a puddle at his feet. 

You smile widely into your locker, pursing it off to the side in attempts to conceal its brightness. 

“No one’s ever stuck up for me like that before,” you confess quietly after a few moments, peeking at him from the corner of your eye. “I’m pretty sure I gushed to Robin about it for days.”

“Yeah?” Eddie hums. He can feel his hopes getting too high.

“Yeah. I told her all about the pretty boy in the back of the room that finally got Tommy H. to leave me alone.”

“Oh… You think he’s pretty, huh?” the boy teases despite his pink cheeks.

You nod — made much braver by his previous admission — though you still have a little trouble looking him in the eye. You drag a notebook from your locker as you tell him, “I think he’s very pretty.”

“Well, I have it on good authority that the boy you think is pretty is super sorry for being such an asshole to you earlier,” Eddie murmurs, his nose scrunched and head tilted. “And that he’d really love to go to that concert with you— if you haven’t found some other schmuck to go with you, that is.”

Your eyes light up like a Christmas tree as you beam at him. No one’s ever looked at him that way before now.

“I’d like that,” you nod, then shrug. “I don’t think I’d wanna go with anyone else, anyway…”

“So, it’s a date?” Eddie asks, just to make sure. His raised brows disappear behind his fluffy bangs. His chin tilts to his chest as he smiles hopefully down at you.

You nod, and repeat it more softly than the loudmouth boy. “It’s a date.”

Eddie can feel himself grinning like an idiot. His cheeks ache with how wide he’s beaming at you, but he's too lovesick to stop. Like squinting into the sun, smiling every time he looks at you is muscle memory by now. 

And what did a freak like him ever do to deserve a date with the freakin’ sun?

[k4g3hika]

good fucking god

[k4g3hika]

part 02 of this angsty piece. thank u sm for the support on the last part, i love u all. there will be one more part after this. steve harrington x sinclair!reader. no descriptions of hair, skin tone, or body type. up to interpretation. tw: slut shaming, public bullying, mean!steve.

part 01

౨ৎ

one day earlier

your nimble fingertips brush against the soft, polyester material of your little black dress, hugging each curve and ridge of your body up until the bottom of your bum. translucent nylons lick up the length of your legs, disappearing into a pair of onyx leather boots that cut off just beneath your knees. a wave of heat washes over your delicate face as you admire your reflection in the floor length mirror of your bedroom, the top row of your pearly teeth indenting against the plush flesh of your bottom lip.

you looked.. sultry.

huh, robin had been right.

the two of you had been finishing up the last bits of your partnered english essay on ‘the catcher in the rye’ the night before, when robin, in her nature, became distracted and started languidly recounting an outfit debbie harry had worn on tour in the ‘70s. the cerulean eyed girl had pulled the cosmopolitan magazine out of her backpack, laying stomach down beside you on the bed as you both stared at the hydrogen peroxide blonde rockstar in front of you. you shyly admitted that you had always wanted to dress like that just once.

it was no secret to the students at hawkins high that you were a sweetheart, a goody two-shoes. you would usually dress in gingham, floral, and lacy babydoll dresses in the summer, or bulky turtlenecks with short skirts and stockings in the wintertime. it’s what drew steve to you originally. your shy smile and innocent doe eyes, waving to him past his car windshield as your silky skin soaked up the summer sunlight, on your way to the flower shop across from the hawkins theatre, sat on top of your two speed yellow bicycle. it threw him for a loop. how much you had bloomed the summer before your junior year. however, your beauty was surprisingly paired with a quick wit and an unmatched sense of creativity. lucas and erica had clearly picked it up from somewhere.

so, after doing some recon on an old, black turtleneck dress that you had worn to a distant family member’s funeral years ago, robin and yourself had successfully designed a little black dress that perfectly melded debbie harry and pat cleveland into one.

you had to be discreet though. your mother, despite being the feminist powerhouse that she was, did not want to have to leave work to give you a change of clothes on the off chance that you were dress coded, which granted- had only happened once. however, despite kindly giving you the snide choice of a sheer cover up to wear when she arrived to that singular meeting, your mother had grilled the geriatric worm that was principal higgens into the scuffed tile of his office floor. at his audacity for making her leave her government job in the middle of the day- all because her fifteen year old daughter, she emphasized for the misogynistic, and terrified, man in front of her, was rightfully showing her shoulders in may.

so safe to say, the spineless principal did not want a repeat of that situation, so while your fashion choices hadn’t changed much, a lot less was said about it.

your mother was dressed in a red plaid pantsuit early that next morning before her shift at city hall, hair big and proud, in the middle of making a cup of coffee before she caught sight of you entering the kitchen. “wow, look at that paint and hair, pretty girl. how gorgeous.” a wave of appreciative embarrassment crept between the hems of your woollen overcoat as the elder woman kissed the crown of your head, smiling shyly as you gratefully accepted a cup of black tea from her manicured hands.

“so, is steve picking you up-?” your mother was cut off when the back door parallel to you two practically flew open, robin’s cheeks flushed with cherry red from the winter air as she dug into her backpack, not noticing your mother or her metal thermos of presumably coffee clanging onto the kitchen tile when it free fell from her bag. finally, your friend victoriously pulled out a half squished piece of banana bread wrapped in cellophane.

“aha! there you are. what’s up this morning-?” robin froze as she caught sight of your mother smirking from her place in front of the coffee machine, watching as the pale girl practically scrambled to pick her thermos up off the floor to avoid causing a bigger mess.

“good morning, robin.” your mother smirked from behind her cup of coffee, plum shaded lips spreading into an amused smile as you giggled at robin’s scarlet complexion.

“m-morning. sorry for the noise mrs. s.” the freckled girl winced in embarrassment at her absent-mindedness, only softening her tense expression when your mother held out of plate of toast, quietly offering her a piece.

“oh, robin. if i was concerned about noise, i would have sent lucas and erica to live with their grandmother a long time ago.” the three of you burst into giggles as one of the devils mentioned strutted into the kitchen, pink denim jeans swishing with every step she took.

“what choice words about your only daughter-“ erica shook her head in disappointment as she reached up onto her tippy toes for a piece of toast, nearly taking a bite before begrudgingly making her way to grab a plate due to the gentle warning glare she received from your mother.

“hey! i was here before you, you little brat-“

“sue me for thinking you were going to college in a year and a half. maybe i’ll stick with ‘your better daughter’-”

“mom! erica hid my walkie!” lucas entered the kitchen with a trail of fire lined after him, interrupting your snide remark back to erica. you and robin groaned with relief as the horn from barb’s mom’s old mini van sounded in front of the house, interrupting the argument for a second before it resumed in full force.

“barb’s picking us up.” you mentioned to your mother, answering her previous question as she half nodded to you in acknowledgment, attempting to break up the ever scaling argument between your younger siblings. “good luck.” you bid her an apologetic goodbye, your mother only huffing as she wished both you and robin a good day.

you were on cloud nine as you walked around the halls at school that morning. it was nearly fourth period, and you hadn’t seen steve in the halls yet unfortunately, but his absence only put a slight damper on your mood. you had gotten so many compliments from the girls in your class and above. nancy wheeler, barb, robin (even though she had practically designed the outfit with you, she had basically screeched in the middle of the arts hall when you finally put your jacket in your locker), chrissy cunningham, tammy thompson, and even anna jacobi!

in the fifteen minute break between third and fourth period, you were taking your time exchanging your calculus textbook out for your history text, knowing that your next class was only down the hall and to the left. however, you felt a large, calloused hand touch the exposed skin between your shoulder blades, jumping as you quickly turned around, nervously gaining the courage to tell off whoever was unrightfully touching you, before you made eye contact with steve.

instantly, you felt a soft beacon of light spread throughout your belly, heart fluttering as you took in the soft chestnut locks that curled beneath the nape of his neck, balancing against the laws of physics atop his head. almond toned eyes, his rigid nose, primrose shaded lips. a breathtaking smile spread across your glossy pout as you giggled excitedly, going in to hug your boyfriend before his unusually stoic face hardened when his eyes raked across your outfit. your outstretched arms slowly fell to your sides as your glittery smile faded, suddenly concerned at the way steve chuckled humorously, his bass tone careless and sinister.

unlike him. with you especially.

you nervously toed your boots into the ground as your manicured nails started fiddling with one another on their own accord, shrinking as he continued to stare you down.

“now i know why billy hargrove asked me if you were free use earlier this morning.” you swallowed harshly, not believing that those words had just come out of your boyfriend’s mouth until you heard the acidic cackles of tommy and carol behind you two. steve however, was not amused. “what in the hell were you thinking when you decided to wear this?” his voice only got louder, catching the attention of a few students passing in the hallways. you fought back the bitter response that was fighting it’s way out of your throat, instead whispering honestly.

“i thought you would have liked it-“

“you thought i would have liked you looking like the freaks groupie?” suddenly, a few band kids instruments stopped their cacophony of tuning and practicing at steve’s semi-booming remark, a few other members of the student body stopping to watch as they caught wind of his comment, both cautiously and minorly entertained.

you felt your doe eyes burn with oncoming tears at steve’s remarks, humiliation running deep throughout your veins as you suddenly felt like you were clad in a cheap halloween costume instead of one of your own designs. your body wrapped your own arms around itself, a self preservation tactic you weren’t aware you were doing until carol laughed.

“you were right steve. she is quite meek, hm?” your glossy eyes whipped up to the boy in front of you for confirmation at the redhead’s poisonous remark, his gaze pointedly wandering away from you as the firm line of his lip wobbled ever so slightly. a reaction so minuscule you would have missed it had you not been searching for any ounce of clarity regarding his behaviour. why suddenly his mean boy persona broke the barriers between you and it.

“you’re being mean, stevie.” you suddenly found your voice, but the soprano tone didn’t sound like it was coming from you, your own trembling voice miles away as you confronted steve. something you hated doing. “i like this outfit, and i don’t appreciate you saying those things-“

“oh, so you think it’s okay that the entire school thinks you’re a slut?” gasps and scoffed out laughs ripped throughout the quickly growing crowd, tommy and carol’s laughter seeming the loudest. your manicured nails dug into the skin of your palms unconsciously, crescent moons slowly pulling blood up to the surface as you tried not to cry.

don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.

you coughed on salty held back tears as they dripped down the back of your tense throat, deciding you were going to walk away and go home before you could be humiliated any further. you felt hurt. you felt betrayed. you felt embarrassed. how could steve, the boy who goofily serenaded you with elvis lyrics into the handle of a baseball bat to make you laugh, who snuck into your bedroom window after curfew to cuddle and kiss you senseless because he missed you. who held doors open for you and left cute little smiley faces and your joint initials in a heart on the corners of your homework papers, just to see you smile. how could-?

“jeez steve, you’d think for a frigid little virgin she wouldn’t put out for the whole school.” your jaw dropped as the crowd around you burst into whispers, remarks, and exaggerated reactions, meeting steve’s eyes that were now half filled with regret, attempting to save face as his expression stoned once more, spitting.

“yeah, you’d think.” you missed the way steve’s eyes widened as tears began to slip down your face, leaving trails of gritty mascara in their wake. the elder boy felt his stomach flip upside down once he surveyed the crowd, once he realized how many people had heard that. something he had promised to never tell anyone.

“‘oh stevie, i’m scared it’ll hurt’ ‘i don’t think i’m ready’ ‘could we just kiss a little more?’ too bad for you, there are girls in this town that aren’t afraid of a little pain.” steve felt his breath shorten at carol’s suggestive comment, however it proved hilarious for the crowd around them. he couldn’t register what was going on, why everyone had suddenly crowded around you two, why he had kept going with his verbal assaults, why he had listened to tommy and carol and billy of all people in the first place, and why he had any nerve to confront you about an outfit that made him insecure and jealous when you were clearly happy-

“carol- shut up-“ steve finally found his voice, dominating and rough with an undertone of fear. he didn’t want this. you were his girlfriend for christ sake. what was wrong with him?

carol however shrugged carelessly, smirking as you quickly turned towards your locker to gather your belongings, mind on overdrive. “look at that, it’s even backless.“

“baby-“ steve whispered towards you frantically, catching sight of your bloody palms from where your nails had bit into them. he felt his heart break when you smacked his large hand away as it attempted to soothe you, sniffling as the crowd behind you oohed in amusement. you felt like you were under a microscope. you wanted to disappear.

“oh look. it’s the freak now. i’m sure you won’t have trouble gagging on his dick like you did with steve’s.” your leather bag slipped from your trembling hands at that comment, it’s contents spreading across the floor as the crowd cackled like hyenas. suddenly, the aroma of cigarettes, woodlands, and something akin to laundry soap filled your senses. hesitantly, you turned your watery gaze onto eddie, who was kneeled in front of you as he quickly packed your belongings back into your bag. you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him that he experienced this kind of torment on a daily basis from tommy, carol, and steve, but was still decent enough to help you through it. he was quick as he packed your things you noticed. steady, quiet, careful-

trained almost.

tommy scoffed at the sight in front of him as eddie wordlessly handed you your bag, his large bambi eyes intently asking are you okay? before you could lie and nod, tommy chuckled. “jeez, munson. i guess now you can finally fuck something other than your right hand. i wouldn’t push your luck though-“

in a second, steve pulled tommy against the row of lockers opposite to yours, a deafening crash echoing above the crowd as his calloused hands wrapped themselves within the crisp white collar of the shorter boy’s t-shirt. “don’t ever” steve emphasized with a push of tommy’s body to the metal doors behind him. you felt yourself clam up with nausea at the potent verbal and physical violence around you, “fucking talk to her like that again, hagan-“

the dark haired boy forcefully pushed steve back into the middle of the hallway, the crowd beginning to chant as you watched in horror when tommy threw the first punch. robin fought through the barriers of the crowd immediately once she heard you and carol screech, narrowly dodging the pair of boys rolling along the gritty school floors just past her worn out converse. the freckled girl attempted to figure out what happened as she made her way to your left side, soothingly wiping away your tears as her cerulean gaze went wild. she had left you alone for ten minutes. soon, two of the senior boys on the basketball team were pulling the pair apart from each other, most likely fearing their suspension with the championship game coming up after winter break.

tommy spat a wad of blood from his lip onto the floor as he shot a loathing glare towards steve. carol’s snide expression morphed into concern for her boyfriend as he panted, before her features pinched with a bitter scowl towards the man of the hour. “don’t look so sad, harrington. now you can actually get your dick wet with some other slut. after all, that’s all you really wanted from her, wasn’t it?”

the crowd erupted into quiet whispers as steve’s wide eyes turned to your frail silhouette, now gone slack with disbelief. his king steve persona had shattered at that moment, bloody lip trembling as he crossed the hallway towards you, however you weakly pushed him away from your bubble with your palms to his chest. “i hate you, steve harrington.” it was the first time in ten minutes that the crowd had gone completely silent, watching intently as you spat emotionlessly, basking in a hatred so unlike you it appeared as though you were possessed. with eddie beside you, those rumours would spread like wildfire, no doubt. steve’s expression fell into agony for every second that passed, watching in almost slow motion as you promised. “never speak to me ever again. we’re done.”

robin quickly led you away after that, shaking her head at steve with disgust as she pushed through the dispersing crowd for you. eddie quickly slammed your locker closed, but not without adding fuel to the fire as he huffed. “it didn’t look like it to me, but i hope that was worth it, harrington.”

and steve harrington, was now, above all else, alone.

just like he was destined to be.

[k4g3hika]

Suna loves nothing more than coming home from practice and taking naps nestled against your chest. He’ll plop himself on top of you, rubbing his nose below your jaw until you get the hint and start running your fingers through his locks, drawing out low hums of satisfaction that rumble in his chest and escape through his lips, akin to the content purrs of a cat.

His large hands, calloused and rough, always settle against your ribcage, absentminded thumbs drawing soft circles against the material of your t-shirt that’s really his t-shirt. He looks forward to finding out which of his garments you’ll adorn as you welcome him home in the hallway. More often than not, it’s his high school jersey that you’d claimed ownership of the first night you spent at his apartment.

Sometimes he’ll murmur a “talk to me baby.” wanting your voice to lull him to sleep. Sometimes just the steady rise and fall of your slow inhales and exhales are enough to send him into a slumber. But regardless of how he falls asleep, he’ll always mumble a small “I love you.” into your chest, waiting for your soft “I love you too, Rin.” before he lets sleep win completely.

[k4g3hika]

how I feel trying to insert myself into a cheerleader!reader fic

[k4g3hika]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩ IN YOUR ARMS (I’M WARMEST) — GETO SUGURU.

contents. it’s a bit of a prequel to this drabble about the shower scene, but can be read as a stand alone, post hidden inventory arc, depressed suguru :(, small spoon suguru bc he deserves to be held, reverse comfort, established relationships, healing suguru agenda !! i’m passionate about this agenda !!!!!!!

usually, instead of you sneaking into suguru’s room, it’s the other way around. usually, he slips under your sheets and curls around your body, your combined giggles seeping into the sheets as he sneaks in a few hours of sleep with you in his arms before he inevitably has to leave before he’s caught.

tonight is different, though—suguru hasn’t come to your room to sleep with you in more than a few days. you don’t even think he even sleeps anymore, if the dark circles under his eyes are of any hint.

so you do the only thing you can think of: sneak into his room.

“hey, are you asleep?” you poke his shoulder—he’s had his back facing the door since you stepped in, and he’s made no move to face you.

“yes,” is all he says.

“wow,” you roll your eyes, “i’m risking a lot of wrath with yaga to be here, y’know. least you could do is face me.”

“you should sleep,” he mumbles, “you have a mission tomorrow.”

“it’ll be easy,” you say wave off, “i’ll be back before lunch time. we can eat together,” you offer.

suguru has hardly been eating—you notice this instantly. if you’d just get one chance to sit and have a meal with him, you’d force a few bites into him, but it’s been a busy week. for all of you. you haven’t properly seen satoru in what feels like ages—the newest missions he’s been assigned have been much more complex, much more difficult for anyone else but him to handle.

he hasn’t known rest since that day.

suguru is alone more now, on missions and once he’s returned. the gap between him and everyone else feels like it gets wider and wider every day. he’s become more distant, in more ways than one.

“you shouldn’t say that. you never know what happens on a mission,” he says seriously. “be careful.”

the last part, barely, just barely, sounds like a plead.

you sigh, wrapping yourself around his back and pulling him against your chest, slipping a hand under his shirt and rubbing slow circles into his bare skin. he likes the feeling, it’s always soothed him.

“i’m always careful,” you murmur, “i’ll bring you soba on my way back. will you eat for me, sugu? just for me,” you pout theatrically.

suguru is always weak to your dramatics—it’s your appeal. he finds it cute, always gives you a chuckle as he caves and gives you exactly what you want.

this time, he doesn’t offer you so much as a hum.

“if i’m hungry,” he mumbles.

“baby,” you sigh, nose burying into his hair. the strands are slightly knotted—something that suguru never lets happen with his hair. “you need to start looking after yourself more. i’m getting worried about you.”

“you don’t need to worry about me,” he mutters, “you should go and sleep.”

deep down, you know he’s gently telling you to leave. suguru is asking you to leave—but you know if you leave, something might change. something irreversible. so you wrap your arms tighter around him, pull him closer as hold his body against yours.

“i always worry about you. and you should sleep too,” you say simply, “we can sleep together.”

he’s silent.

so you let him stay like that, rubbing over his abs slowly and tracing the skin, writing your name with the tip of your finger lightly so he knows he’s yours even when he acts like he’s alone. you press a kiss to his head, and because he’s still your suguru, he melts just the slightest bit against you.

progress.

“hey,” you whisper, chin resting on his shoulder. you watch his head turn slightly as he looks at you from the corner of his eyes.

“what?” he sighs.

“i’ll take care of you, so you don’t have to, okay?” you promise gently. if suguru can’t find it in him to look after himself, he doesn’t need to—not when you’re here. “we’ll start slow, yeah? tomorrow you’ll shower. and then i’ll feed you.”

“you don’t have to—”

“shh,” you hiss, reaching over to press a finger to his lips, “i’ll bring your favorite, and then i’ll feed you like the princess you are. it’ll be nice, trust me.”

“but—”

“i’ll even give you a kiss for every bite. how does that sound?”

he sighs, hand resting on top of yours as you stay rubbing circles into his skin.

“good,” he whispers, “sounds good.”

“i love you, baby,” you kiss his head again, “i’m sorry i haven’t been here all week.”

“it’s not your fault,” he insists, “it’s…it’s been busy for us all. i don’t mind—”

“i’ll make more time for you,” you say firmly, “i promise. okay?”

you’re not sure if you imagine it, but you think his exhale might be a little shaky. and then he nods against you, leaning back so his body is pressing into yours even further. you wrap your arms tighter around him and pull the sheets until they’re under his chin, making sure he’s covered all the way.

it’s cold in his room at night—you can’t always make it warmer, but you can try to share your heat.

“okay,” he says after a while, “i’ll shower tomorrow.”

“good,” you nod, “i’ll handle the rest. now get some sleep, yeah?”

he nods—but even as you slowly doze off, sleep doesn’t come to him. but it’s not so lonely to stay up tonight, and the bed doesn’t feel stiff under his back. his hand is still on top of yours, finger tracing lightly over your knuckles.

“i love you too,” he mumbles—you don’t hear it, but he still wants to say it.

it’s a start.

i should just write a progressive series of suguru slowly healing and then we can have teacher suguru bc imagine him writing on a chalkboard with chalk. yeah. it’s okay if you moan at the idea i did too. i won’t judge !!

[k4g3hika]

▸ A SOUVENIR FOR THE MORNING - GOJO SATORU.

synopsis: you’ve avoided him for the last eight years, only for him to pop back into your life, leaving you with no room to run away as he asks you to kiss him. catch is, he now has a golden ring on his promise finger.

content: 9.2k words (idk how this happened, and it's unedited bc it's too long to go through) afab!reader, she/her pronouns, cursing, explicit smut, light angst, mentions of alcohol, unprotected sex, fingering, cunnilingus, creampie, and anxiety triggers (picking at nails), pet names (baby, sweetheart, love, angel, good girl). minors do not interact.

The room is packed with people when you walk in. It was hard to recall some faces from the mirage of dimmed lights making you feel mildly dizzy and it didn’t help how the buzzing in your head from the smell of champagne and the loud chatter from the already drunk almost thirty-year-olds that can’t seem to contain their liquor-like novices, made you want to go home increasingly more.

“It’s only 9:41, and they’re drinking like they’ve never tasted alcohol before,” you heard Shoko mumble as she searched through her purse to reach for her perfume, “you want some?” Your best friend offered with a smile as she looked at you through the bathroom mirror. 

“I’m okay,” you smiled back, “can’t have all the boys following me around with that,” you teased.

Shaking her head in disapproval, “If you see me go home with any of these drunks, I give you full permission to hit me, no, in fact, I’ll pull up to your apartment every morning with coffee and take you to work for a week if I do,” Shoko shuddered while furrowing her brows only to quickly soften the moment she saw you lightly picking at your thumb – an anxious habit you’ve picked up throughout the years, only but the keenest of eyes being able to notice your anxiety.

“You okay love?” Her voice was sweet as she leaned against the restroom sink.

“Mhm, of course,” you faked a smile, “I guess I’m just a little nervous seeing everyone, you know,” lightly chuckling as you bit your lips. Little was underlying, when the knot in your stomach was building up, making you force down the urge to entirely vomit in the moment. 

“People are thrilled to see you again,” placing her hand on your shoulder, “it’s literally been years for you,” she huffed, pouting as she reminisced over the years she attended alone.  

“well ‘m sure one will be sure thrilled —” her voice suddenly drained from a crowd of people entering the restroom, slightly pushing you towards her, “nevermind come on, let’s go get something to drink,” Shoko muttered as she led you out, gently massaging your tense neck as she encouraged, bringing her lips to your ears, “if anyone bites, I’ll chop their dick off,” Shoko threatened with a flashing smile as she led you to a nearby table.  

It’s only 9:41 — no, 9:42.

College reunions, who looks forward to that? 

There was no particular reason for you to be anxious, it’s been years since. You’ve prepared yourself for this, meditating every single day since you got the notification in your email on a Tuesday evening — an invite to rsvp for a room at the Aman Hotel. 

Maybe it wouldn’t have been so nerve-wracking if you’ve been consistently going out to these every year since they’ve held one. But every year there seems to be a conflict in the schedule that forbade you to go.

One year it was your boss last-minute asking your team to work overtime, when a rookie employee lost all the data when he supposedly fell asleep, accidentally losing months of all your blood, sweat, and tears to make it for the deadline on your next advertising project. 

Poor kid was fired the next day.

The following year, you were determined to go, going as far as walking to the restaurant, when the sudden nausea of socializing plagued your mind. The joyous welcomings and celebrations annoyingly muffled in your ear as you groaned past a familiar voice that seemed to call out your name from a distance. Your feet walking on their own volition through your sleep deprivation. Only to wake up in your bed with countless text messages from your best friend asking what the hell happened. 

No wonder it was so fucking loud that night. 

Another was simple, not your fault this time. Shoko couldn’t make it because of her rounds at the hospital. 

Never in hell were you going to show up alone. 

And the last one, well your taxi got a sudden flat tire. That in itself was a confirmation for you not to go, nor did you have any dying wish to go. Quickly texting your best friend, huffing out a sigh of relief as you pressed send.

<< sorry… can’t make it tonight. I promise, next year!! 

Today, well things seemed to have aligned. No overtime, no flat tires, no sleep deprivation, no nothing.

Maybe it was an excuse? 

Maybe you were subconsciously avoiding it? 

But ironic is it, that life seems to protect you when most fragile, only to push you out into the void when least expected making you feel even more vulnerable, feeling so exposed in such a cruel world. 

Or maybe the universe was waiting for this moment, that despite your consensus or approval, it was determined that you were ready to confront it — well it, being the owner of a pair of brilliant light blue eyes that sparkled like an aqua jewel, shining brighter than when you’ve last seen them clouded in tears as you let go of his trembling hand for the last time, crushing his pure heart as you left him with, “i’m sorry.”

Was that already eight years ago? 

But whether it was the consequence of your selfish choice or a blessing of choosing to be selfless, luck was on your side today…

… well, you hoped at least somewhat on your side.

“My … look who it is,” you heard a voice from behind you.

Turning around, though the shame of suddenly cutting him off enticed your heart as you faced him, you couldn’t help but smile at his familiar face walking over with two drinks in his hand.

Holding the same gentle eye smile, with a lock of his black hair falling down on his left side, donned in a white dress shirt with his sleeves cuffed at the elbows, no tie but buttons loosely opened with a pair of dark slacks and shined dress shoes. Geto Suguru walked over.

“Aren’t you still handsome,” you complimented with a sweet smile.

“Don’t feed into his ego like that,” Shoko chimed as she nudged your arm, “his head is already big enough.”

“Who me?” Exaggerating his response, only to soon level down to the same amiable smile, calm cadence you’ve remembered him to have as he offered you a drink, “I have to take all the compliment I can get, don’t know when you’ll go awol and go missing for another eight years.”

“Funny…” you muttered, rolling your eyes while taking the drink by the stem, “and thank you, Suguru.”

“Where’s mine?” Shoko jabbed while shooting a glare at his nonchalance.

“Not here,” Geto flashed a smile, innocently shrugging. 

“Whatever, I’ll get my own,” shaking her head in disapproval, grumbling while making her way to get a drink, but still making a point to stop in front of the man to warn, “Don’t say anything weird Suguru, I barely got her to come today.”

“Relax, ‘m just trying to catch up with an old friend,” Geto countered, making a point to whisper while smiling at you.

“I won't hurt her, that I promise,” Geto affirmed. 

Your best friend walked off only to turn around for a brief moment as she worriedly looked back at you “Text me for anything okay?” 

“I’ll be fine! Don’t worry,” you reassured.

“And don’t forget what I said, I’ll even cut his,” deadpanning while looking at your male counterpart, “I got no problem doing it, I’m medically certified anyways, there’s nothing that a sharp scalpel can’t fix, ” Shoko stated with an innocent smile while walking off. 

“So,” releasing a sigh as he pushed the strains of his hair back, “how’ve you been?” Geto smiled.

“I’ve been… okay,” you confessed while placing your lips against your glass before taking a sip, “could be better.”

“Thought you were living your life,” Geto teased, his voice laced with sarcasm, “Shoko wouldn’t tell us much about you.”

“I… I told her not to,” you confessed while leaning against your table, the pain of your heels starting to ache up your back. 

“How come? Weren’t we your friends too?” 

“I just didn’t think it was best to keep myself in the circle when I —” biting the inside of your mouth to stuff the suffocating knot forming underneath your lungs.

“ — When you broke up with him?” Geto finished your hesitation.

Nodding yes, you softly whispered, “I thought it was for the best for him.”

“For the best huh?” Geto chuckled, “well I guess you didn’t know him too well then.”

“What do you mean?” Your brows furrowed as your mouth started to feel dry, “I did it because we weren’t compatible, I would’ve been a stumbling block for him,” you stammered as your voice started to shake, “I- I would’ve halted his growth, and he would’ve hated me in the end if I selfishly held onto him when he was worth so much more than being with me,” you confessed with lips quivering as a tear fell, only to quickly brush it away before Suguru could notice.

But nothing passes with him, he reads right through you. His voice softened, “Was this your insecurity you’ve decided for him or — ” turning his body to face you while his body leaned on his arm against the standing table, “Was this something he actually would’ve struggled with?”

“I can’t change the past Suguru.” You shamefully avoided his gaze, “I still stand by my decision.”

“I don’t doubt that,” shrugging as he exhaled, “I mean, you did avoid him for almost a decade.”

“H-he seems happy,” you let your thoughts slip.

“You think so?” 

“Shoko would tell me about everyone, you, him” you unnoticingly spewed out your thoughts. “Of course not in full detail, but that you’ve established your own studio, and that you’ve finally released those photos.”

“Mhm, that’s correct, would’ve loved to have invited you to the exhibition, it was quite… a moment,” he chuckled while playing with his fingers. 

“That Megumi’s in high school and that he’s gotten in trouble for beating up the school bullies,” lowly laughing as you remembered how cute yet scarily mature he was for his age.

“Nanami hates corporate life, but still listens to what he has to say even if it’s outrageous.” Taking a sip of your drink, the sparkle of the beverage mildly burning your throat, “... and that he’s traveling the world living his life.”

Mumbling under your breath, “he’s even recently gone to Paris and had a night picnic with —”

“You stalked him?” Geto teased as he huffed out a laugh when he caught your shocked expression

“No — I mean, Shoko would tell me,” you stammered.

“Sure, whatever you say, sweetheart," Geto teased, "but just to let you know, he just got back. And from what I know, they haven’t met since he arrived. His plane should’ve landed,” while dramatically looking at his watch, “I don’t know like an hour ago? He’s probably on his way over here,” Geto handsomely winked as he suddenly placed a gentle hold of your waist and brought you near his side.

“You know… he’ll look for you, now knowing that you’re here” Geto whispered into your ear.

“How does he know… I told Shoko to not tell —”

Blinking innocently at you with a smile, while playing with his phone, “can’t avoid the poor guy forever.”

“I’m not avoiding him,” you sighed knowing what Geto had done, “just didn’t have a chance to run into him.”

“Whatever you say, sweetheart,” releasing you with a smile, “ if you’re really sure about where you stand, then don’t run away from him.”

Geto's eyes flash to the entrance doors for a split second and land back on you.

“But would you look at that,” humming as he pointed to his empty glass yet his eyes caught sight of a familiar figure. It was the first in a while that you felt your heart sinking, all the blood in your body rushing out, making you suddenly feel lifeless and queasy.

“Gonna get another glass, you want one?” Suguru suggested.

“I’m okay, but thank you Suguru,” you quickly stated as your heart started to beat faster by the second.

“Sure, just don’t be a stranger again,” Suguru teased as he started to walk off, but your hand immediately reached out to catch his arm to quickly reinforce, “I- I mean it… thank you.”

Knowing your implication, smiling as he received your thanks, “No need, as fucking cringe it is,” chuckling as he shook his head, looking over your shoulder and back at you, “he’s my best friend, of course, I’ll be there for him.”

Letting go of his arm, your hands anxiously balled into a fist as you quickly turned around to avoid him, doing anything to hide from his sight. You felt your breaths becoming increasingly more difficult to inhale, and stagnant as your palms started to sweat. 

“I’m not avoiding him… I’m not avoiding him” you quietly mumbled to yourself, your words contradicting your actions as you walked further away onto the balcony, texting Shoko, 

<< I’ll be outside getting some fresh air (: let me know when you want to leave.  

Closing your phone, as you let the night breeze wash against your face, leaving light chills around your body, you nervously sighed, “It’s been eight years you say…”

— 

Your story was nothing short of the typical — difference in class and status, trying to make things work just for the convenience of love. It wasn’t hard at first to situate yourself into his life, nor was it any difficult for him to become accustomed to yours. 

They say time will change things, circumstances will get better. Be patient with your season, and you’ll be rewarded for your hardwork.

But somethings never change no matter how hard you try to alter the dice. He’s rich and you’re just average.

Money works for him, while you had to take on multiple jobs just to make your next rent at the start of your career. 

He was bound for greatness at a young age, trained by the best professionals and tutored by an exquisite league of mentors. While you had to settle for things, simply dreaming of the what can be. Thus, you worked even harder. You pushed yourself to keep up, to become of the level of who he’s supposed to be, and what he could accomplish. 

When he dozed off in class, you stayed up. You studied, pulled all-nighters, chugged caffeine, and oftentimes had to push back dates with him for simple study sessions — he didn’t complain, said he liked to just sleep with his head rested on your lap while he cuddled into your stomach while you studied. 

“Don’t mind me, I’ll be your personal radiator,” he would chime with a boyish grin on his face, taking off his sunglasses as he stretched his long legs before latching behind you like a koala, “wake me up when you’re done, I’ll drive you home,” Gojo peacefully murmured without forgetting to place a kiss to your shoulder, while you stressed over your next exam. 

With him, even the coldest days always felt warm.

And on the next day, he’ll always take you to class with some soup and hot tea, murmuring about your poor dietary choices and how you often neglect your health to study. But at least he’ll be gentle, and wish you the best on your exam with a light kiss — an innocent kiss that lasts a bit too long, his hand always gracing your body as he reluctantly releases you, brushing off the saliva that linked your lips together — his good luck charm he’ll argue, a little tease of what he’ll reward you with later when you got home for being his good girl. 

Gojo will always try to convince, “Life isn’t always about studying, baby,” stating with a pout, after your fifth time canceling a date he’s planned to instead go on a simple walk outside your flat, “you gotta live life to the fullest! And why stress when you’ve snatched me?”

“Well, I can’t live life to the fullest if I don’t study now, Satoru. And who’s gonna pay for all that ice cream you eat? All the sweets you stock up on?”

“What do you mean?” Deadpanning as he stopped in his tracks, “you have me, what more else do you need? I'm a double threat — I’m rich and handsome.”

“Satoru — I… never mind,” rolling your eyes, as you were hit with his puppy eyes. 

“Just promise,” his tall frame blocking you, “that you’ll always stick with me.”

“I’m not a piece of gum to just stick onto you, Satoru,” pushing him away, only for him to reach out to delicately hold your hand, “You know, if you’re a gum, you’ll be the sweetest one.”

“Yea, why so?”

“Because every time I eat you, you taste so sweet,” he teased with a flirty wink, “if you get what I — ow!” 

Rubbing his forearm that barely hurt, Gojo loved to exaggerate when he was with you. 

For Gojo, things came easily for him, as if the universe highlighted his life as a thousand-year blessing, nothing was out of his reach — that is, nothing but you. 

Shocking to many, he pursued you first. When asked about how you guys met, or what’s the story behind you two, or even if no soul asked… he’ll blabber on with an outrageous story, saying he fell in love the moment he laid his eyes on you, that you were the apple of his eye — an over the top fanfiction of you and him of how he just knew you were the person for him when you stumbled into the library, arms full of books and coffee in the other, and you magically just happened to just bump into him. And if it wasn’t for that encounter, then he would’ve never gotten your number. 

And without your number, he wouldn’t have been able to woo you with his charm, he’ll always add with a wink.

“You can say it’s fate,” he’ll proclaim, “I never went to the library, you know,” as he munched on his icecream with Megumi and Tsumiki savoring theirs, both unbothered by the story he’s told them countless times, “and the one day I chose to follow Suguru because he was simping over someone, I get coffee spilled all over my clothes and meet her? Damn, the heavens just wanted us together.”

All you remember of that day was that your precious coffee went to waste, with your books embarrassingly spread out on the floor, and you were stuck having to dry clean his ridiculously expensive clothes. 

But with him, you experienced all your firsts.

Your first handholding — Satoru confidently took your hand, immediately interlocking his fingers with yours, his palms engulfing yours entirely, “don’t be scared baby, I’m not scared,” flexing his muscles as he proudly smiled,  “I’ll protect you!” as he leads you through the haunted mansion, jolting through every jump scare, absolutely refusing to scream. 

You remember his palms felt particularly clammy that day. 

Your first kiss — on a spring picnic as he laid on your lap, his eyes sparkling a little more than usual as he looked up at you, innocently asking, “can I kiss you?” 

Your first argument. Ignoring him for a whole week, only for your resolve to quickly break when Suguru urgently called you to his house stating that Satoru was deathly ill — dark circles under his eyes, cheeks frail from not eating, wrapped up in his blanket as he dramatically announced his dying wishes while sneaking obvious glances at you. 

Geto’s diagnosis: pure insanity. 

To your first cuddle buddy, to innocent make-out sessions, to wonton looks and lustful touches for more. leading to your first sexual experience, both unknowing and inexperienced as he groaned into your ear in the back of his car one rainy night as you struggled to take his girth.

He was your first taste of goodness — like a forbidden fruit, you increasingly wanted him more. In soul, mind, and body, you etched yourself into him, making the tear even more painful to rip apart. 

Sure, loving him was easy — but loving you, the version who was so lacking compared to him and insecure was hard.

You tried to ignore it, you did your best to brush off the insecurity that came with each day of choosing him. But having the message that you were worth less than he was being constantly blasted to your face — the blatant discrepancies between social classes and the nature of how you both grew up, to the constant side glances you’ll get wondering how someone so normal like you, got with such a high net worth — gradually, it all made you dissociate from him. 

So you worked even harder. You stayed up longer than anyone else just to get that better grade. You worked that extra shift just to prove that you were capable. You doused yourself in knowledge, yet tried to stay humble to be seemingly perfect… but in that, you unknowingly pushed him further away, losing parts of yourself while at it. 

And your final straw? It was a text message you accidentally read on his phone while he silently napped, cutely dozing off as you massaged his scalp.

From: Mom.

>> Remember the girl I talked to you about? Nitori-chan’s family requested that we set up a date for you two. The faster the better, no need for our families to meet, it’s all settled. 

To: Minako.

<< Let’s meet. When are you free, Minako? 

From: Minako.

>> Whenever! I can meet now!

>> Is this about our potential engagement?

To Minako.

<< Yea, let's meet tonight to talk about it.

You remembered, that night you couldn't reach him.

The final trigger that blew it over. The rambling of your thoughts paralyzes you from thinking rationally.

You didn’t need to search up who she was. Nitori Minako, the youngest daughter of Japan’s leading technology company that rivaled to that of America’s fruit. A girl that was a year younger than you — smart, adamantly cute, cunning and rich — always following him around a bit too closely for your liking, preaching about how “Gojo-san promised he’ll marry me when we were young! Isn’t that so cute?”

how long was this going on for? 

Has he always been going on secret dates like this? Was he always just willing to let it slide when you rejected his dates because he had other options?

Was he leading you on this whole time before he’ll leave you for what he rightfully deserved? 

Was all of this a lie? All of what he said?

The pinnacle of your sanity breaking as your thoughts became corrosive and brittle the more you dove deeper into the pitfalls of your insecurities — of course what people said was right, there was no way someone like him can settle for any less.

... Ultimately, everything led to you quietly blurting out as he rambled about his day. 

Playing with your hand, smiling like a loser as he intertwined your smaller fingers with his, “Geez, there was this jeweler that I wanted to take you to, but dammit, the store closed early today. Maybe we can go — ”

“Let’s break up,” you suddenly announced, looking straight ahead.

The room suddenly felt quiet, so quiet that the thumping of your heart felt like loud sirens blaring next to your eardrum, and your body felt numb. 

After a few seconds, Satoru stammered, “w-what?”

Sighing as you closed your eyes, “I said, let’s break up, we aren’t — ” you reiterated.

“I heard you the first time,” Gojo hissed, still playing with your fingers but his grip now harsher, “just wanted to make sure you weren’t bullshitting right now.”

“I’m not joking, Satoru,” your voice stripped of any emotion, “we aren’t good for eachother.”

“Says who?” the man challenged. 

“It’s something that’s been on my mind,” you responded back while trying to pull back your hand, “l-let go, Satoru, it hurts…”

“Is it because of the text?” Gojo refused to let go, even more so gripping even harder, “Fuck... I'm sorry I should've explained earlier," his voice pleading for you to listen.

"I swear nothing happened, and nothing will ever happen, b-baby look at me,” your boyfriend’s — now, ex-boyfriend's — voice elevating and shaking. 

“Gojo,” softly pausing after his name, “let’s end it when things aren’t so bad… I can’t have you hating me more when we have no other choice but to break up,” finally pushing his grip off, “it’s inevitable, we’ve been walking towards a destined finish line from the beginning, let’s just call it quits a little earlier.”

“no... you can't do this, you can't do this to me,” he vulnerably uttered, his body noticeably trembling as a tear dropped onto the back of your hand as he reached over to touch you, hoping it'll mend whatever hatred you had towards him, “you.. we promised,” his voice shaking.

“I’m sorry Gojo,” you dodged his grasp, “guess promises are only good if you can keep them, and I can’t.”

Days of him begging at the forefront of your door, crying as he asked for an explanation, his missed texts and calls that would go straight to voicemail, to Suguru stepping in to ask what the hell was going on… all leading you to cut off every aspect of Gojo Satoru out of your life, except Shoko.

After two years of dating, at the ripe age of 20, you experienced your first heartbreak with Gojo Satoru, marking the end of the final chapter of your love story with him. 

To you, he’ll be the greatest warmth you’ll ever experience. 

To him, you’ll be the heartless bitch that left him cold.

—-

“Hmm,” looking at your empty notifications, “guess she’s a little busy right now…” you hummed. Despite your outwardly calm demeanor and the stillness of the serene summer night, juxtaposed was your mind with wandering thoughts that wrecked havoc in your head. 

Shoko would update you occasionally about him, not going too far into details. You knew he was successful in his craft, excelling in it as he ranked 11th in Forbes 30 under 30 list, losing the tenth spot barely to a Zenin. It would be a lie if you weren’t curious about him, your mind wandering and weak during the quietest of nights, making a burner account to stalk his socials, only to immediately regret the moment you see photos and stories that presumably show that he’s in a relationship — with a gorgeous one in fact.

You’ve briefly heard of his dating history, hearing it from Shoko directly, as it mindlessly slipped through her tongue as she complained that he’s broken up with another girl. 

Throughout the years, you’ve concluded maybe this was your punishment for leaving him. Damnation to feel stuck in the same perpetual regret of hurting his heart, of choosing to look at your fears instead of maybe trusting in him. 

But, at least he looked happy. and you clung onto that reserve.

Maybe it was for the best that things happened this way  —

Your ears perked up as you heard the tapping of shoes coming towards you, your stomach suddenly dropping to the floor. 

“Were you planning on avoiding me the whole night?” 

You were sure, there was no denying that was his voice. 

Yes, it was a bit deeper from when you last heard it. The decibel of his voice is now infused with power and confidence, yet still with the underlying tone of softness from what you remembered. 

“Ah, sorry… how rude of me,” you mumbled, the pounding of your heart beating through your ribcage. You quickly placed an arm over your chest, a hand over your heart, doing anything to muffle the harsh pulsing, terrified that he was going to hear, “it’s been a while Gojo,” you offered him a light smile, “I’m sorry, but if you’ll excuse me Ieiri is waiting for me,” you tried excusing yourself only to be met with his stance unchanging, unmoving. 

You felt his eyes pierce into your skull, “Gojo?… ah that’s right,” his voice guarded as he looked over in another direction, his face pointing specifically elsewhere, the moonlight highlighting his perfect features.

“I think she’s pretty busy, don’t you think?” he shrugged.

Dammit she was your ride home. Guess coffee is on her for the next week. 

“Oh sorry,” you muttered under your breath.

Grinning as he licked his lips, “You’re awfully saying sorry a lot over nothing,” Gojo chuckled, “guess old habits die hard,” his last words spewed with a hint of bitterness as he clenched his jaws. 

Only to relax seconds later, placing his drink on the railing, softly grunting as he pulled off his jacket, and placed it over your shoulders, “It’s cold, don’t want you getting sick now,” the smell of his cologne filled up your lungs, hypnotizing your senses — a bit strong but nonetheless intoxicating.

You couldn’t help but feel guilty for feeling a sense of security from the weight of his heated jacket, and in response, you started to immediately pick at your thumbs. 

“It’s okay!” You tried to object, trying to take it off only to be met with a stern yet gentleness of his voice, his large hand stopping you, now calloused and thick yet the warmth of his palm brushing against your smaller one felt nostalgic and sinful, as your eyes immediately noticed a gold sparkle on his ring finger, “it’s fine. my body runs hot, remember?” 

“T-thank you,” you muttered, the harsh beatings of your heart quickly making your cheeks feel hot. 

A ring? you wondered.  

“So, what made you come today?” Gojo huffed as he looked off into the distance.

“Had no excuse not to come.”

“I see,” his voice deep, taking the last swig of his drink, deeply inhaling to release a long breath, “It’s good to see you though.”

“Yea, me too,” you quietly responded, the awkwardness of the conversation eating at your bones, the tightness of your stomach knotting increasingly more.

Laughing as he turned around, his long legs crossed, showing a bit of his socks peeking out of his slacks as his dress shoes reflected the moon's shine. Surely, they were expensive, probably equaled to a month of your rent on his feet. With his arms crossing his chest, leaning against the railing, the quiet winds brushing against his soft hair, lightly masking his cerulean eyes as he faced you, “Liar, you were always good at that.”

Taking you off guard, your eyes immediately connecting with his, your breath stopping as if a sudden load was pushed onto your chest, you felt a wave of sadness rush over you as you ventured into his empty eyes. 

Since when did he have that ring? 

Did he find someone at Paris? Shoko told me — no, there’s no way he found someone so soon.

Or maybe he’s trying to settle down —

“Are you happy?” His question brought you back into reality.

“What?” you whispered.

“I don’t think I’ve asked a hard question,” he responded, his voice now harsh and impatient, “I asked if you were happy.”

Your finger pricks at your thumb, “I guess so…”

Rolling his tongue against his teeth, his finger playing with his ring.   

Taking no regard for catering to your comfort, he jeered, “Why’d you do it?”

“What are you talking —” you stammered.

“You know damn well what I’m referring to,” Gojo spat. 

“Excuse me,” You muttered, your eyes refusing to disconnect despite your whole body fighting against it.

“I- I got to go, Ieiri is waiting —”

“No, you already used that excuse,” pulling you in by your wrist, immediately caging you in between his arms, with you now leaning against the railing, your eyes level to his broad chest — has he always been this big?

“Answer me, at least you can have the courtesy of honestly telling me why you left me like that eight years ago.”

“I don't remember,” you stated with eyes threatening to spill.

“Liar,” his body leaning down, the hurt in eyes even more apparent than before, “you’re a fucking liar,” Gojo spewed with no resolve to withhold a solid tear from falling, his face now dangerously close — lips even more threatening to touch.

All you wanted to do was say sorry, to cup his face and kiss his tears, to say it was a mistake that you’ve never intended to let him go — you selfishly tortured him by continuously keeping him in your heart without giving him a chance to prove you wrong. 

“I’m so sorry,” was all you could respond.

“Did you not trust me?” Hurt was apparent in his voice, “Was I that untrustworthy for you to just leave like that and just disappear for eight years?”

“No, no… it’s not like that,” you tried comforting, unknowingly placing your hands on his chest, “it was never like that.”

"then tell me why," he forced out through gritted teeth while furrowing his brows.

"I just thought it was for the best," you quietly whispered.

"you thought it would be for the best?" Gojo scoffed, "And how the hell did you come to a conclusion to just leave like that?"

" 'm sorry, Gojo... I - I truly am," you pleaded while clenching his shirt.

"You must've really enjoyed watching me beg huh," Gojo challenged, "absolutely thrived knowing this was all for my own good, right?" Gojo spat out his anger.

"It wasn't like that, i'm so sorry, I was hurting —"

“Stop fucking apologizing! you don't get to do that," His voice shattered the serene night. Chest heaving as he clenched onto the stone railing, "I didn’t go through shit these past eight years just to hear your selfish sorry's,” he stated with gritted teeth, as he threateningly moved even closer, “d-did you even love me?” 

“Yes, of course!” You immediately cupped his face, finally letting go of the years you craved his touch, your heart shattering as you felt him melt into your wicked hands.

“Then kiss me,” he suddenly whispered, the slight scent of alcohol mixed in with cologne altering your judgment.

“Y-your drunk, Gojo,” you pleaded, immediately letting go of his face as you tried to push him off.

His voice elevated, "Why not?" Gojo growled, "Like you said, it's not like you left because you didn't love me. Or are you lying about that too?"

“don’t make this hard, we — I can’t do this with you anymore,” guilt running through your veins as the image of his ring blared loudly in your head.

You couldn’t do this to another girl, he wasn’t yours anymore… 

“stop the bullshit,” Gojo growled before his lips slammed into yours, his large hands cupping your face, leaving you no room to run away. his tongue forced its way into your mouth, teeth painfully clashing yet you didn’t mind. because against your resolve, your arms immediately wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to taste the sweetness of his saliva and feel the warmth of his tongue.

The groan of his voice vibrated against your lips, as his clothed hip bucked into your pelvis, his lips trailing down from yours to your neck, tongue sloppily trailing down with it as his hands wandered down to hold your hips.

“Tell me you missed me,” he moaned out as you gripped the ends of his hair,  his tongue teasing down your sweet spots, pecking kisses as he inhaled your scent.

“Say you loved me, I don't care anymore if it’s a lie,” your ex now pleaded, his hot breath heating your cheeks.

“… I love you,” you confessed.

Lowly laughing like a maniac, staring deep into your wanting eyes, the man whispered back, “aren't you fucking heartless.”

...

You don’t recall how you made it into the hotel room. In a moment your lips crashed with his on the balcony, and only a second later you found yourself with his large hand securely wrapped around yours, silently waiting for the elevator to bing on the twentieth floor as your ex-boyfriend led you into his hotel room.

Now, currently, you’re pressed against the wall, shoes thrown aside groaning with your hands tangled in his soft hair, as he hurriedly stripped you out of your dress, lips hungrily moving against each other as he growled into the kiss.

Though its been years, his touch never faltered from remembering your body — immediately tracing over your sweet spots that he’s located in your early twenties, now with more experience and strength he dove deeper in.

“Fuck, missed these beauties,” he groaned as he cupped your breasts, his thumb playing with your hardened nipples as he quickly released the back strap of your bra, promptly latching his lips onto your swollen ones again right before you released a moan.

Your body had a mind of its own. Fallen into sin, your hands unbuttoned his shirt, quickly revealing his toned, muscular build as your hands ran against his pecs. You felt his stomach flex as you started to unbuckle his belt and zip down his pants, his lips hungrily chasing after yours as he caressed your body, hands slipping down further into your inner thigh, his index starting to play with your swollen clit — his fingers have always been so pretty, especially with his ring

“G-gojo stop!” Your eyes immediately shoot open.

“What,” annoyed, the man hissed, looking into your eyes with his pupils dilated, hair absolutely disheveled, until moments later his lips are impatiently back onto yours again. 

“We.. we can’t,” you cried out as you melted in his touch, “y-your ring,” you gasped out, suffocating as he stripped you of oxygen.

“Ring?” he stopped for a brief moment, chuckling as he brought up his finger, “you worried about this?” he teased.

Intoxicated in his touch, you were willing to throw away your pride and dignity just for one night — one night can’t hurt, right? So you take the ounce of courage you had left, placing a tender kiss on his lips as a sign of surrender as you gently cupped his face, “take off your ring,” you whispered as you guilty looked away.

Chasing after your kiss, pushing you further into the room as you yelped at his force, your arms entangled around his neck and fingers around his hair as you tried to stabilize yourself, “I promise you it’s nothing, sweetheart,” he coaxed with his sharp canines flashing through his wickedly handsome smile. 

And running his lips against your chest, leaving small denture marks on your skin that forced moans out of you, with his pants now pooled at his ankles before shimming them off, his cock fully erect, unapologetically twitching in his briefs.

“For you, I guess,” Gojo hummed as he watched the thin line of spit that connected you both dissipate away, existing as a sign of proof of the situationship he currently had with you. 

Taking his ring off, he set it down near the bedside table, "there it's gone."

At least for this night, he was yours. 

You’ll repent for your sins, and receive any punishment the gods had to give you tomorrow, but today, you chose him.

And right now, you also chose to kneel in between his thighs, hooking your finger under his waistband to pull his briefs off. Satoru immediately lifted his hips to help you while releasing a sultry groan as he felt the cold air elope his sensitive tip. 

Was he always this thick? You remembered his cock being pretty, but also what the fuck were those two veins running down his shaft? And was he always this… groomed? 

“Are you just gonna stare at it… or do I need to use your mouth to get some action?” Satoru impatiently asked with his cock twitching, his finger brushing against your heated cheeks as he palmed his member.

“It’s just been awhile,” you murmured, licking your lips before you opened your mouth to have him enter.

“Fuck, " Satoru shuddered as the base of your tongue brushed against his frenulum.

"i must be dreaming,” Gojo murmured under his breath, your head rising up as you released his cock with pop! With your hot tongue swirling against his head, there was no chance for Satoru to stay strong. and you enjoyed every second of seeing him slowly unravel in your power.

“j-just like that,” he ordered while placing his hand on top of your head, guiding your momentum. 

His precum tasted salty but pleasant. Hell, he wasn’t even close to the other men you’ve been with, incomparable starting with the size of their dicks to his.

Hallowing your cheeks and expanding your throat to take in his shaft, with your hands gently playing with his balls, you felt his cock hit the back of your throat the moment you saw his head fling backwards, gasping as he pushed down his spit down his dry throat.

“You like that?” Gojo hissed as he bucked his hips into your warm crevice, “you missed my cock, angel?”

You honestly agreed, tears staining your vision with his length stuffed into your orifice, only to get a spiteful laugh in return, “well, guess that makes two of us,” he huffed while crowning over your body, pushing himself deeper into you, his stomach hitching as he groaned out your name.  

“Fuck this shit,” he moaned, as he urgently pulled himself out of your mouth, sacrificing his impeding release for abstinence. 

“You’re driving me crazy,” he gasped when your thumbs swirled around his pulsing head, “you always do,” he purred as he nibbled on your lower lip, promptly pulling you onto his lap, one hand straddling your waist while the other mounded your ass.

And looking up at you, with his blue eyes now darkened in full blown lust, his hot breath sending chills down your spine, “tell me what you want? I’ll give you anything.”

“Y-you,” you shamefully confessed, gasping as his cock grazed against your sensitive folds, your fingers gripping his shoulders as you started to grind against his length, “I want you inside me again, Satoru” you whispered into his ear, lightly moaning out his name.

“Shit,” Satoru croaked, pulling himself down as he gently released you to lay on the bed, “I dont have a condom,” he confessed as he gently kissed your cheeks, “ you gonna be okay without it?” he asked.

“Mhm, j-just hurry… please,” you murmured. 

“Good girl, now come here,” he coaxed as he placed a soft pillow under your head. 

Taking a brief moment to observe your face, reading any sign of forced emotion that you might try to hide, only to ease himself into the kiss when he feels you impatiently desiring his touch, “relax, baby,” he cooed as his kisses traveled southward.

Placing each delicate kiss on your body as his soft hair trailed behind, lightly tickling you as your thighs gently caged his waists into you, “you know they wanted me to thank you,” Gojo breathed out as he split your thighs open, settling himself in between your legs.

“W-who?” you whimpered as his calloused hands massaged your muscles, his soft lips easing out the tension boiling in your core while your hands immediately went straight to grip his hair.

Lips drawing closer, closer and closer until his breath knocked against the frame of your dripping cunt.

“God you’re so fucking wet,” blowing air onto your sensitive nerves, looking up to watch your body shiver at his power as he slid his finger down your folds, pushing in one finger, two, and eventually three into your tight hole as he watched you stretch, your viscous juice soon dripping down his forearm.

“They wanted me to thank you for how good I eat pussy now,” Gojo smirked before he took a swipe of his tongue against your womanhood, spreading out your cunt as he purposefully flicked his tongue against your clit, lightly sucking on the bud thereafter.

… 

How many times as it been, you wondered? More than once or twice, maybe four… five — you moaned out when you felt your legs hitching up to his shoulders, his cock hitting just at the right spots he remembered from years ago. 

“Angel,” Gojo huffed as sweat dripped down his temple, grunting as he felt your tight walls fluttering against his length at the call of his sweet pet name, “you have that much leisure to be thinking about something else when I’m fucking you?” 

Kissing your ankles, his pelvis showing you no mercy as his wet skin slapped against your ass, the sound and sultry smell of hot sex filtrating your room, “still so fucking tight,” Satoru grunted as he pushed his body onto you, your legs hooking against his shoulders, his strong arms holding you from under.

“G-gojo!” you rasped out, barely audible and inable to breathe from his heavy weight and humidity of the room, “it’s too deep! Slow down!”

Growling into your ear, his teeth nibbling against your earlobe, his hot breath stinging your face as he scoffed at your choice to call him so mundanely.

“you gonna be so impersonable,” his thrust going deeper, harder into you, “when I’m so deepily inside you?”

“Ngh,” gasping, “it’s too much,” you sobbed with his face planted into your neck, and his ass clenching with every push he drove into your gushy walls that still wrapped so perfectly around his — just like how he’s last felt you around him, just like how he’s molded your insides just for himself.

“You let anyone else fuck you?” He suddenly hissed, panting as he tried to catch his breath, the sweat on his back making it difficult for you to hold onto him, “you let anyone else see this side of you?”

“It’s too much —” you pleaded, avoiding his question.

“Answer me,” he lowly ordered.

Unable to withstand his power, absolutely willing to fold for him and his desires, you fastidiously nodded, “only a couple,” you shyly confessed.

"how many," he growled, disappointed in your answer, "how many fucked this."

"o-one or two, ngh I-I don't remember," you panted.

“One or two, you say,” he cooed as he pulsed his cock swiftly into you in rhythmic motions, satisfied seeing his length disappear inside you. his pace driving you to the brink of insanity as your lower belly started to fire up again as he knowingly pressed his palm down on your stomach.

“Then I gotta fuck you twice more to force out all memory you have of those stupid fucks,” grunting as he cupped your face to look at him, lips swollen with his skin marked by your nails, hips unapologetically thrusting into you as he watched you unravel in his lead, “because this pussy’s always been mine.”

Seven.

He’s definitely made you cum seven times. you remembered the count just before he groaned out your name, his thrusts sloppy and strained, gasping as he pulled you tighter into his embrace, face caved into your neck as he finally released his thick loads into your abused walls, sobbing out cursed moans as you held him, expending out every last ounce of energy you had for him in mere four words,

“I’ve always loved you,” you whispered before completely passing out. 

You failed to notice a tear fall from his eyes drop to your face. He hoped that it’ll stain you, wished it would reach all the way through to your heart to burn you. But he couldn't, so instead he carefully wiped it away as he gently kissed your face — inch by inch of your canvas before he chose to face you again.

“you’re so heartless,” Gojo chuckled as he pulled you in for a tight hug, straight into his chest as he laid beside you, refusing to pull out and have his cum spill onto the sheets — a feat he’s never dared to do with anyone else, he’s always fucked protected.

“what am I going to do with you," he breathed out.

"even with all this time, I’m still so weak for you,” he quietly confessed, reaching over to the side, reaching for his ring to put on the empty finger, before he too fell into the abyss of another dimension with you in his arms. 

—-

Lowly groaning as you opened your eyes, your body felt oddly heavy and aching, but yet warm and safe despite feeling on the absolutely verge of possibly snapping in half and breaking with any force.

Blinking a couple times before you started to register the room, you felt a slight huff next to your ear and the tightening around your waist as your back leaned against something hard.

Gojo Satoru, in all of his glory, was sleeping so soundly next you.

Carefully turning around to face him, you observed his features as you ran your fingers against his skin.

His lashes were still so long and soft, you giggled when Gojo twitched his nose at your touch.

His cheeks were still so smooth, without a spec of a blemish, but you can see the little bags under his eyes and the small creases on his skin. he’s probably tired from traveling.

Your finger travels down to his chiseled jaw, and defined collar bones, examining the light scratch marks on his pale skin, and the bruising of his nipple — wait… his lips are chapped and swollen, and his cock… oh god, his cock was brushing against your stomach — hard and pulsing. 

Immediately gasping, you felt the blood in your body drain at the revelation that you’ve fucked your ex — no, you fucked your ex of eight years, that you were still crazily hung up over that most likely had a girlfriend waiting for him to respond back to.  

Before you could think, your adrenaline pressed forward to act before your mind, immediately unlocking his hands from your naked waists, standing up too quickly only to stumble from your trembling legs. You felt something drip down your thighs — white viscous slowly running down your legs, your face heating up at the memory of last night. 

“I- I need to leave,” you whispered, quickly gathering your discarded clothes and undergarments as you rushed to the restroom, forcing down your whimpers as your sensitive cunt brushed against your thighs with every step you took.

“I can’t be here, t-this was a mistake,” you stammered while putting on your dress, quickly stuffing your used panties into your purse.

You looked like a mess, but it didn’t matter because you needed to get the hell out of there before he woke up, but somehow your feet didn’t move in the direction you wanted them to — out the door — but instead towards him unknowingly sleeping.

And quietly sitting against the edge of the bed, carefully pushing away the edges of his bangs that covered his handsome face, you decided to take a minute to absorb the last images of what you’ll have of him. And there you decided to let a tear or two drop from your eyes as you said your last goodbyes, gently kissing his lips before you made your way out the door, whispering, once again,

“I’m sorry…”

—- 

It’s been close to an hour since your walk of shame out the door. Since then you quickly checked out of your room and made your way out of the hotel. 

You immediately called for a taxi to get home, groaning as you were hit with the realities of your mistakes last night.

Treading up the stairs your legs quivered with every move. It's been a while since you've been fucked that hard, nor even had a partner that lasted so long.

You needed to text Shoko, you prayed that she didn’t blow through your notifications when you suddenly went missing last night. Sighing, you absentmindedly tried to find your phone in your bag as you punched in your door keys.

You started to think, maybe the whole fucking universe was now against you, for your sins, because your phone wasn’t in your purse.

You tried to retrace your steps to where you’d last used it as you made yourself over to your bed, stripping off your clothes as you walked over to the shower.

And to your last memory, you texted Ieiri out in the balcony… and then,

“Shit,” you hissed, remembering how your bag was tossed to the side when you were being feverishly stripped of your clothes, “it’s probably under his bed or something.”

“I hope no one calls… or tries to contact me until he leaves his room,” you groaned as the hot water massaged your tense shoulders while your fingers ran down your body.

Washing every crevice as you also tried to erase away the memory you had with him, you forced yourself to retract your tears. This was your punishment you repeated, this was the outcome of your selfishness. You lathered yourself in soap, trying to scrub away the pent-up guilt until you noticed something flash under the light.

You never wore your jewelry into the shower, you’ve always had a habit to take them off to not tarnish. 

But there was a golden ring, a ring that fits a little loosely on your promise finger.

Unable to understand why, all that circled through your mind was to go back.

Quickly washing off, throwing on any pair of clothes before running to your door, you could feel your anxious heart beating loudly in your chest as your ears started to feel plugged from the tension. And just when you’re about to open your door, you hear a buzz that silenced every chaos around you.

Looking through the peep hole, you felt faint, your heart entirely about to burst — is this reality or am i still dreaming?

“It’s me,” you heard his calm voice.

Your hands trembled as you slowly opened up the door, your eyes taking a moment to quickly scan his body — donning the same clothes as yesterday with the top buttons of his white shirt undone and ends stuffed into his slacks, his hair lightly messy and eyes a little sunken.

“How’d you get here?” you gasped with your ringed hand clenched, hidden behind your back, while the other pricked at your thumb.

“You left your phone in my room, and I found it because Ieiri was blowing up your phone," Satoru calmly stated as he handed over your phone, "so I asked where you lived to drop it off.”

“She didn’t say anything?” you warily asked

“Well, she did ask about us."

“And… did she threaten you or anything?”

“No, why would she? But,” stretching out his arms as he released groan, “I told her we fucked,” he boyishly smiled. 

Afraid to confront your messy rendezvous with him, you nervously bit your lips, and you avoided his gaze. Noticing your tendencies, you felt his hand cup your face to meet his while his thumb gently soothed your aching lip, "hey," he whispered, "don't do that."

And stepping closer to you, the mild fragrance of his shampoo dancing in your nostrils, “Did you see it?” he asked.

“Mhm,” you acknowledged, “I saw it just now while showering,” you looked into his eyes to seek an answer, tears starting to cloud your vision.

“You know, I’m not the same anymore,” he confessed, “I have power, I’m strong, and I’m able to do things now,” pressing a kiss onto your forehead, “but the only thing that stayed the same about me," chuckling as he shook his head — as if he couldn't even believe it himself.

"is that I didn’t change my number since we’ve broken up,” he stated before taking a step into your apartment, the click of his shoes hitting the tile floor echoing throughout the hallway, “I just hoped maybe one day you’ll call.”

"why?" you honestly questioned, unable to understand why he would choose to do that.

"I don't know," Satoru shrugged while pulling away, "guess I really tried to subconsciously manifest the we were fated to be bullshit that I preached."

“But that girl,” you quietly muttered while you unknowingly pouted when you saw his arms cross against his chest, the tightness of his sleeves about to burst from his muscles bulging.

“Girl… what girl?” Your comment took him aback.

“The one you were in Paris with,” your face feeling hot, embarrassed that you outed yourself for stalking him.

“You stalking me?” He chuckled while leaning against the wall, "it's not what you think," Gojo sighed as he pushed back his hair, "that girl, it was Suguru.”

Raising an eyebrow as he examined your expression, sighing as he saw the unbelief in your eyes, “Here look,” he commented while pulling out his phone to show you pictures, “we went for his art exhibition or some shit because his girl couldn’t make it with him.”

“B-but you came late to the reunion.”

“Yea, because I wasn't going to pull up looking mid when I needed to make you regret ever dumping me,” he joked while pinching your cheeks, "I didn't have plans on attending until that jerk sent me a photo of you," he shamelessly confessed.

“You’re stupid,” you grasped his hand to check his finger — ringless.

“But it was worth it, no? Got you to indirectly confess,” emphasizing his last few words, “that maybe you still love me."

"Whatever," you mumbled, "I said I loved you."

"fine by me," Satoru accepted, " but the fact is that you still think I’m hot, no? Or maybe you just missed my cock? ”

“You’re crazy,” you stated while wiping your tears.

“Yea, I know,” his gaze softens as he sees you playing with his fingers, your small ones wrapped around his.

“and this ring is too big for me,” you cried as you melted in his touch, his right thumb gently rubbing against your cheeks.

“That too, I know,” he smiled stepping closer into your house, and slowly closing the door behind him, “we’ll get another one together soon, only if you'll let me.”

"I'd like that," you whispered.

“I just couldn’t get it for us when you heartlessly broke up with me eight years ago," Satoru confessed while brushing the tip of his nose against yours.

“I’m so sorry Satoru,” you snuggled your face into his strong chest, his arms tightly wrapped around you, cooing as he steadied your breaths, “Shhh, it’s okay baby, it’s okay.”

“I’ve hurt you, I’m the one that caused all this,” you heaved as he pressed light kisses all over your face.

“Through everything,” kissing your swollen eyes, taking his time to savor your touch as his lips traveled their way back to its home, briefly kissing your ringed finger as he looked into your eyes. 

And sealing his final destination, he whispered before locking his lips with yours once more,

“I’ll always find you even if you run away because you’ll always be mine.”

author's comment: sheesh, I didn't expect this to get this long... but here it is! I wanted to write the typical exes-to-lovers trope, but I was stuck on the quote with Satoru teasing how his past partners wanted to thank the reader for teaching him how to eat pussy... and here we are over 9k words later.... oh wells

again, i hope you enjoyed it!!

p.s. i might just have one exes to lovers in the drafts for geto, as well.... hahahahaha but you didn't hear that from me, nope (,:

[k4g3hika]

hi guys!

just wanted to say that my requests are open!

i will write anything from stranger things, haikyuu, jjk and even kny. i have a lot of imagined in the works, but i also want to hear from you guys on what you would like to read :) but please do remember that i reserve the right to not right anything i’m not comfortable with.

don’t be afraid to leave smthn in my inbox!

#stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things s4 #haikyuu #haikyuu anime #eddie munson #steve harrington #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fluff #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #demon slayer imagines #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #kny angst #kny fluff

[k4g3hika]

this is absolutely amazing 😭

𝐇𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ✯ 𝐀.𝐌𝐢𝐲𝐚

"𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙗𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙪𝙨 𝙖𝙨 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙖𝙨 𝙞𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙪𝙨."

PAIRING. Ex-Husband!Miya Atsumu x f!Reader

CONTENT. Angst!!, Sexual Content, Vaginal sex, Protected sex, Adultery, swearing, oral sex (f. receiving), usage of the nickname ‘Baby’, nickname, Vanilla,

Y/N grapples with an anguishing cycle of reuniting and parting ways with her ex-husband, Atsumu. Despite divorcing and attempting to move on, their magnetic pull keeps drawing them back into each other's arms. Y/N's struggle to break free from this toxic pattern intensifies until she faces a gut-wrenching truth: the cycle may never end.

WC. 4.9k

A/N. Inspired by Lorelai and Christopher from Gilmore Girls. One scene inspired by Little Women. Changed my theme. Haven't written a smut in a hot minute, hope you enjoyed. Not proofread

WARNING. Minors DNI

The golden rays of the morning sun filter through the sheer curtains, casting a warm glow across your bedroom. As you stretch and yawn, a tinge of anticipation tingles within you. It's a new beginning, a fresh chapter, a chance to finally leave behind the turbulent past that has held you captive for far too long. But as much as you try to convince yourself that today is different, a persistent whisper of doubt lingers at the edges of your thoughts.

The scent of freshly bloomed roses filled the air as you opened a window to greet the sun. Your heart, however, was anything but calm. The wedding was mere days away, and doubts gnawed at your thoughts like a persistent whisper. The man by your side, gentle and understanding, seemed to be the epitome of everything you ever wanted. But why did your heart continue to waver?

As you looked at his smiling face on your phone, you couldn't help but recall the tumultuous journey that brought you here. Atsumu, your ex-husband, still lingered in the corners of your mind. The father of your child and the keeper of countless memories, he was a force you thought you'd escaped. Yet, like the tides that return to the shore, he kept coming back into your life.

The sun dipped below the horizon, casting a golden glow over everything around you. Your thoughts wandered, tracing back to those moments with Atsumu. The magnetic pull between you two was undeniable, even after the bitterness of divorce. The way his lips touched yours, as if every kiss was a bittersweet promise of what once was. It was a dance you couldn't escape, no matter how hard you tried.

But you swore to yourself that you would not fall back into his arms. The cycle had to end. The pattern of coming together and then falling apart was a poison that had seeped into your veins for far too long. You had a new chance at happiness, a fresh beginning with a man who adored you. You had a child to think of, to protect from the storm of your past mistakes.

Despite your best intentions, the pattern persisted—new men would come into your life, each one kind, attentive, and eager to show you the love you deserved. They would sweep you off your feet with their affection, their promises of a brighter future, and their genuine efforts to mend the pieces of your wounded heart. You would let yourself believe, if only for a moment, that this time it could be different.

But the echo of Atsumu's touch lingered in your memory, and each time you gave in to the lure of someone new, you found yourself inevitably drawn back into his orbit. It was a dance of desire and despair, a tug-of-war between your longing for what once was and your determination to move forward.

No matter who or what, heated passionate nights were spent with Atsumu. In those moments, it felt like you were defying the past, proving that you were capable of experiencing love and intimacy once again. But as dawn broke, reality would seep in, leaving you alone in the tangled sheets, the remnants of a whispered promise hanging in the air.

Morning after morning, you would awaken to find his side of the bed vacant, a hollow emptiness that mirrored the recurring ache in your heart. He had a way of slipping away without a trace, leaving you with unanswered questions and a sense of abandonment that cut deep. It was as if he was a mirage, a figment of your imagination, haunting you until the next time he would reappear.

The aftermath of those stolen nights left you raw and vulnerable. It was a cycle you couldn't escape, a cycle that played out like a broken record, each refrain a reminder of your unhealed wounds. You would retreat into yourself, nursing your heartache, vowing that this would be the last time. But when he inevitably reappeared, all your resolve would crumble in the face of his familiar presence.

The constant push and pull between you two had become a toxic addiction, one you knew you needed to break free from. You had tasted the sweetness of a new beginning, felt the warmth of someone else's arms around you, but the pull of your shared history was an anchor you couldn't seem to release. It was as if the gravity of your past was too strong to resist, and no matter how hard you tried, you found yourself falling back into the same patterns

The divorce came with its fair share of heartache and tears, but you shared something that could never truly be severed – your daughter. The piece of your love that remained intact, a beacon of hope that someday you both could find happiness beyond the wreckage of your marriage.

But as the years passed, you found yourself caught in a web of emotions that you couldn't escape. Every attempt to move on ultimately led you back to Atsumu. It was as if a magnetic force drew you together, your bodies intertwining with a familiarity that bordered on painful. The pull was stronger than your will, a constant battle between your heart and your mind.

Then, when you least expected it, another man entered your life. His name was Futakuchi Kenji, and he brought with him a sense of joy and stability that you had been craving for years. His love was patient, his laughter infectious, and his presence brought a sense of calm to the chaos within you. With him, you thought you had finally found the solace you needed, a love that could mend the broken pieces of your heart.

Yet, the excitement that had once consumed you was now mingled with uncertainty. The dress fits perfectly, the flowers are exquisite, but an invisible cloud hangs over you. Are you truly ready to say goodbye to the echoes of yesterday, to the tumultuous love that has both lifted you and shattered you?

You stand before the mirror, your reflection a mixture of hope and apprehension. Your fingers brush over the delicate lace of your dress, and you wonder if you're making the right choice. Your daughter’s laughter echoes in your ears, a reminder of the little girl who deserves a happy family. You close your eyes, willing yourself to find the strength to move forward, to embrace the happiness that is within reach.

You had fought against the tide of doubt and uncertainty, working to convince yourself that this new beginning was what you truly desired. The doubts had quieted, your heart finding solace in the tender moments you shared with your soon-to-be husband. Yet, the memories of Atsumu remained, woven into the fabric of your history like an indelible thread.

It was on a night when the stars were hidden behind a blanket of clouds that you heard a soft knock on your door. The hour was late, the world outside enveloped in a gentle darkness. Your heart quickened as you approached the door, your senses tingling with a mixture of curiosity and apprehension.

As the door swung open, there he stood. Atsumu. His silhouette was framed by the faint glow of streetlights, his gaze meeting yours with a mix of vulnerability and longing. Time seemed to stretch, the years between you collapsing into a single heartbeat.

"Atsumu," you breathed, your voice betraying a surge of emotions you had worked so hard to bury.

His lips parted as if he wanted to say something, but no words came forth. Instead, he took a hesitant step closer, the tension between you palpable in the air.

"I... I needed to see you," he finally managed to say, his voice a mere whisper that carried the weight of years of history.

Your heart raced, conflicted emotions swirling within you. The memories of passion and pain warred within your mind, a reminder of the intricate dance you had shared with him. You opened your mouth to speak, to demand an explanation for his sudden appearance, but the words caught in your throat.

He seemed to sense the turmoil within you, his gaze growing more intense as if he were trying to read the very depths of your soul. The silence between you was a canvas upon which all the unsaid words of your past could be painted.

"I know I've hurt you," he finally said, his voice trembling. "I know I've left you alone, time and time again. But I couldn't stay away any longer."

The vulnerability in his eyes struck a chord within you, resonating with the parts of your heart that had never fully let go. You felt the walls you had built over the years begin to crack, the defenses you had erected threatening to crumble.

"You can't keep doing this, Atsumu," you whispered, your voice laden with a mixture of longing and resignation. "We've been down this road before. It's not fair to me, to us."

He nodded slowly, his gaze never leaving yours. "I'm not asking for forgiveness. I just... I needed you to know that I've regretted everything. The pain I've caused you, the choices I've made. And now, seeing you on the brink of a new chapter, it's like a knife twisting in my chest."

Tears welled in your eyes as you looked at him, torn between the memories that tied you together and the desire to finally break free from the cycle of heartache. The weight of his presence was overwhelming, a reminder of the past that had never truly let go.

"I can't keep living in the shadow of our history," you said, your voice wavering with emotion. "I deserve a chance at happiness, Atsumu.

He took a step closer, his hand reaching out as if to touch your cheek, but he stopped himself before making contact. The distance between you felt both vast and minuscule, a reflection of the complex emotions that had defined your relationship.

The world outside was still and quiet, as if it, too, was holding its breath, waiting for the next chapter of your story to unfold. The weight of your shared history, the moments of passion and pain, seemed to hang in the air like an unspoken secret.

And then, as if the universe itself had conspired to intervene, the words slipped from Atsumu's lips, a fragile plea that shattered the fragile equilibrium you had forged.

"Don't marry him," he said, his voice a hushed whisper that reverberated through the room, carrying with it a mixture of desperation and sincerity.

You pulled away slightly, your gaze meeting his, the raw vulnerability in his eyes cutting through the layers you had built around your heart. The words hung in the air, a delicate thread connecting you both, threatening to unravel the careful tapestry of your new beginning.

"Why?" you questioned, your voice barely more than a breath as you sought to understand the depths of his plea.

His eyes bore into yours, a storm of conflicting emotions brewing within them. "You know why."

The answer lay in the unspoken truths that had always lingered between you, the wounds that had never fully healed. But facing those truths meant confronting the painful memories and the reasons you had let go in the first place.

"No, no, stop it," you said, your voice shaking as you fought against the pull of his words. "Atsumu, you're being mean. Stop it, stop it."

His gaze held yours, unrelenting and intense. "I'm not trying to be mean, Y/N. I'm trying to be honest. For once."

His words struck a chord deep within you, resonating with the fears and uncertainties you had been grappling with. It was as if he had stripped away the layers of pretense, laying bare the complicated emotions that had always been at the core of your connection.

Tears welled in your eyes as you looked at him, your heart a tangled mess of conflicting desires. The years of pain and longing had etched themselves onto your soul, and Atsumu's presence brought them all rushing back to the surface.

"You can't just appear like this and disrupt everything," you said, your voice trembling with a mixture of anger and sadness. "You can't ask me to question everything I've built."

His expression softened, the intensity in his gaze giving way to a tenderness that mirrored the Atsumu you had once known. "I'm not asking you to question everything. I'm asking you to question whether you're truly happy, whether this is what you want."

The words seemed to hang in the air, a suspended moment pregnant with the weight of your decisions. The room was a cocoon, shielding you both from the outside world, as if time itself had frozen, allowing you to confront the emotions that had been bubbling beneath the surface for years.

You looked at him, your eyes tracing the contours of his face—the familiar lines, the small imperfections, the memories etched into his features. His gaze held yours, patient and understanding, as if he recognized the turmoil within you and was willing to bear the weight of it alongside you.

"I don't even know anymore," you admitted, your voice a fragile thread woven from a tapestry of doubts and longings. "I thought I did, but now... everything feels muddled all because you're still here, Atsumu. But i've made my choice"

Atsumu's gaze was unwavering, his eyes a canvas that painted a portrait of his longing and regret. In that moment, you saw the depths of his soul laid bare, the vulnerability he had always hidden beneath a façade of bravado. The years seemed to melt away, leaving only the two of you suspended in a timeless embrace.

As you met his gaze, a mixture of uncertainty and desire swirled within you. The memories of the past were like a tide, pulling you back into a dance you had known too well. But this moment was different—it was a crossroads, a pivotal point that could lead to either heartache or redemption.

His hand reached out, his fingers brushing against yours, a touch that sent a shiver through your entire being. Slowly, his thumb traced a path along your skin, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. His touch was a whisper, a wordless declaration of the emotions that flowed between you.

And then, as if following an invisible script written by fate, Atsumu's lips met yours—a tender caress that held all the weight of years gone by. The kiss was a delicate dance, a symphony of past and present, a melody that spoke of pain and longing, hope and redemption.

His lips were a promise, a promise of a love that had never truly left, a love that had always been woven into the fabric of your existence. The kiss was a testament to the unspoken words that had always lingered between you, the emotions that had been too complex to articulate.

As his lips moved against yours, the sensations were both familiar and new, a reminder of the passion that had once consumed you both. It was a kiss that spoke of unspoken apologies and silent forgiveness, a kiss that held the weight of all the times you had come close and then pulled away.

In that moment, you felt a rush of emotions—the ache of the past, the uncertainty of the present, and the possibility of a future rewritten. The kiss was a bridge, connecting all the fragments of your shared history, reminding you of the love that had been both your salvation and your downfall.

As the kiss deepened, the world around you seemed to fade into the background, leaving only the sensation of Atsumu's lips against yours, the heat of his touch searing into your very soul.

When the kiss finally broke, you were left breathless, your heart pounding in your chest like a captive bird. Atsumu's gaze held yours, a mixture of vulnerability and hope shining within them. It was a gaze that laid bare his heart, his desires, and his willingness to confront the demons of your shared history.

The silence that followed was a canvas upon which all the unspoken words of the years could be painted. The room was pregnant with possibility, a testament to the choices that lay ahead. And as you looked at Atsumu, the man who had once held your heart, you realized that this moment was a turning point—a point where the past and the future converged, where old wounds could finally find their healing.

With a soft exhale, you closed the distance between you, your lips meeting his once again.

How can you resist him, when he makes you feel so good? When he’s giving you butterflies? 

How can you resist him, when he’s kissing you like you and him are the only people in the world right now.

How can you resist him, when he always knows your sweet spots? When he always knows how to make you moan his name?

How can you resist him, when you’re still always drawing back to him?

Atsumu let out a soft groan, he pushed his hands up your shirt. But before he continued he asked., “Where’s our daughter?” 

“She's at my mom’s house.” You looked up at him. He forms a big jerk smile on his lips as he continues his actions. He smashed his lips onto you as he moved up the stairs, pressing kisses along your exposed neck and shoulders. He opened the door and rested you on the bed. This has become such a cycle that he didn't even need directions to the master bedroom. He leaned down to turn on the lights and threw off his jacket. You kicked off your slippers and got on your knees to crawl to the edge of the bed.

You reached for the hem of his black shirt and pulled it up, “Your body still hasn't changed.” You said, staring at the familiar body you always seemed to end up under.

He kissed you again, now rushed and sloppy, gripping the skin of your ass. He laid you back down on the bed, hovering over you. He let go slowly biting your swollen lips before he kissed down your neck, sucking and leaving bruises along your collarbone and the top of your chest. He reveled in the soft moans he managed to get out of you, sounding so angelic.

He lifted your nightgown off you leaving you with only your panties, staring at your bare chest. He brushed over your nipple with the pads of his thumb, squeezing it before putting it in his mouth, sucking and licking on it while his hand groped the other one. you squirmed around letting out soft moans of pleasure. 

"You always liked getting your tits played with," he smirked. You bite your lips and nod your head. Of course he knew, he knew everything about you.

Through your panties, he pressed his thumb on your clit drawing out small whimpers from you. He moved his fingers down your clothed slit, cocky smirk on his face “Baby you are soaked." he chuckled. "Tsumu please." you whimpered. "Please what? tell me what you want" he continued rubbing you through your panties. "Please make me feel good." you whispered, embarrassed. He hooked his fingers through the lace, pulling it down and throwing it on the bedroom floor.

 He got down between your legs, throwing your legs over his shoulders. Lining kisses down your thigh and stopping just before your entrance, sucking on your thighs leaving marks. He always loved to leave bite marks. He looked up at you.

“Let me make you feel good, to remind you that no man knows your body like I do.” He moved his head back down and started sucking and licking your clit like he hadn't eaten in days, he was sloppy with it. 

Noises filled the air and you felt dirty. You wanted to feel bad for fucking your ex husband days before your wedding yet the only thing on your mind was Atsumu.

“Atsumu!” you cried out, closing your eyes and gripping on his blonde hair. “Look at me baby, please" he said, stopping his action. You followed his instructions but the eye contact and the stimulation was sending you over the edge. 

"fuck Tsumu im so close!" you whined. He just continued working his tongue over you while you pulled on his platinum blonde hair. You felt the familiar sensation in your lower body.

Atsumu licked up every last drop from your cunt. "You ready for more baby?" he asked, pushing his middle and ring finger past your folds, reaching further than yours ever could. "S-so good" you said trying to push the words out of yourself. He curled them inside you, rubbing against your walls, hitting the perfect spots inside you.

He leaned down and kissed you, tongue immediately in your mouth. “I think you're prepared enough.” he eased his boxers down off his hips and dick sprung out from the waistband. He got off the bed to grab and get his pants. Atsumu fumbled with the pocket, rushing to grab his wallet, in it was a picture of your daughter and you. He got out a condom packet and went back to his previous action.

He ripped the wrapper open and pushed the condom down his length and hovered on top of you, your arms finding their place around his neck bringing him closer. “Atsumu.” He lined his tip up with your hole and gently pushed himself inside you. He was stretching you out so good, the pain mixed with the pleasure was driving you crazy. This was the familiar feeling, the one your body knew all too well.

He was taking his time but you needed more, he knew that. He spread your legs further, pushing himself deeper inside you. He moved at a faster pace, hands squeezing tightly around your hips. "God y/n your body feels so good" he whimpered. His dick hit your g spot so right you weren't sure how much longer you would last. when he put his hand on your tit, squeezing and tugging at your nipple your chest arched into his hand.

he moved his thumb to your sensitive clit, rubbing slow circles over it, making you jump. "oh my god!" you wailed. "No one knows how to make you feel like this. No one can fuck you the way i do. No one knows your body the way I do." he said with a cocky grin on his face.

"Who do you belong to?" he asked, increasing the speed on your clit while he dug his hips into you. You could only whine and whimper in response. "Answer my question. I want to hear you" Your mind was clouded and all you could feel and think about was him. 

 "Atsumu fuck i'm gonna cum, i'm so fucking close.”

"Go ahead baby" was all he said and for the second time that time you came, face hot and chest heaving.

"I love you so much Y/N" he leaned down to kiss your forehead before he felt himself close too.

“I l-love you too Atsumu.” You weren't just saying this from the euphoria you were experiencing, you really meant it. No matter what man entered your life, he was always in the back of your head. He continued pumping inside you, until he whimpered and groaned, not breaking eye contact with you as he came too.

He flopped down in the bed next to you with a grin on his face. He reached a hand out to your cheek bringing you in for a gentle kiss. your legs entangled each other's and his arms wrapped around you bringing you closer as if to completely morph into you. "You okay?" he asked, rubbing a thumb over your cheek.

"yeah I'm okay" you smiled. 

His embrace was a promise, a silent commitment that spoke volumes without a single word. As the hours melted away, you lay intertwined, the rhythmic rise and fall of your breaths creating a symphony of shared hopes. His warmth against your skin felt like a shield against the doubts that had haunted you for so long.

"Stay," you murmured against his chest, the words a whispered plea that hung in the air like a fragile confession. "Promise me you won't leave."

His fingers brushed against the back of your hair, his touch tender as he held you closer. "I won't leave, Y/N. I promise."

The words were a melody that echoed within your soul, a promise that resonated with the deepest corners of your heart. As the night deepened, you drifted into sleep cocooned in his arms, his steady heartbeat a lullaby that chased away the ghosts of your past.

The night had been a fragile dance of vulnerability and longing, a tapestry woven with shared confessions and whispered promises. In the cocoon of darkness, you found solace within each other's arms, holding onto the belief that this time could be different, that the echoes of the past could finally be silenced. As the room embraced the hushed murmurs of your hearts, you held Atsumu close, his presence a lifeline that seemed to anchor you to a future you both yearned for.

Morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a gentle glow that painted the room in shades of dawn. You stirred, the remnants of dreams fading as you gradually returned to consciousness. But as your hand reached out, seeking the warmth of his embrace, you were met with emptiness—a void that seemed to echo with the hollowness in your chest.

Panic surged within you, and your eyes shot open, scanning the room for any trace of him. The sheets were rumpled, the indentation where he had slept a stark reminder of the promises that had been made.

Your heart raced as you sat up, the weight of disappointment settling over you like a heavy shroud. And then, your gaze fell upon a folded piece of paper on the nightstand. Your fingers trembled as you reached for it, unfolding the note with a mixture of dread and hope.

"I'm sorry," the note read, the words etched onto the page like a painful truth. "I wish things could be different, but I can't stay. It's better this way." The handwriting was a cruel testament to the fleeting nature of his presence in your life. 

The room was a prison of memories, each corner echoing with the promises he had made, the moments you had shared. But those moments were like fragile glass, shattered by his absence and your own naivety. The room felt like it was closing in on you with each breath you took.

The pain was a vice around your heart, squeezing out every ounce of hope that had dared to take root. The cycle had not been broken—it had merely paused, and the emptiness left in its wake was a gaping wound that seemed to bleed into every crevice of your being.

With a heavy sigh, you crumpled the note in your trembling hands, a symbol of the shattered fragments of your heart. The room held the ghosts of a love that had always slipped through your grasp, a love that had only ever brought you pain.

Tears welled in your eyes, blurring the words before you. The promise, the vulnerability, the hope—it all seemed to crumble in the face of his absence. The room was a silent witness to your heartbreak, the walls seemingly closing in around you.

The echoes of his presence seemed to linger, mocking the moments you had shared, the words you had exchanged. The morning sun, once a symbol of hope, now seemed to cast a harsh light on the reality that he was gone.

As you sat there, the room an empty canvas of broken promises, you realized that the cycle was far from broken. The pain was as raw as it had ever been, and the ache in your heart was a testament to the futility of hoping for change.

With a heavy sigh, you folded the note and placed it back on the nightstand. The room held the remnants of your shared night, a night that had held the promise of a different future. But as the sun continued its ascent, you understood that promises were fragile, easily broken by the weight of history and the pull of old habits.

As you rose from the bed, the room seemed to echo with the echoes of your footsteps. The cycle had repeated itself once again, and all you were left with were memories of a night that had briefly held the allure of a new beginning. 

Each step down the hallway was a testament to the weight of your heartache, a reminder that the cycle was an inescapable prison that had ensnared you both. The echoes of his absence followed you like a haunting melody, the anguished chorus of a story that had never been yours to control.

As you stepped out into the cold reality of a world that had once again robbed you of the happiness you so desperately craved, you carried with you the scars of a love that had always been a double-edged sword—a love that had promised salvation but had only ever delivered despair.

©Minarixx 2023 - please don't copy, repost or translate without my knowledge credit or permission.

[k4g3hika]

Sundered 6: DREAMS

Pairing: Gojo x reader

• Part 1  |  Part 2   | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 |…+

Genre: Angst

tags/cw: angst, babydaddy!gojo, babymomma!reader, motherhood, insecurities, arguments, implied noncon, sexual assault

word count: 6.7k

He wished to tell you that he loves you too but that wouldn’t be right.

“Megumi.” Toji warned, raising a finger at the breathless, laughing toddler. “No jumping on the bed. You’ll fall.” He put an apple in his mouth as he watched them. You combed the ends of your hair, leaning on the doorframe. Toji was sitting on the bed, while the two kids were playing beside him, jumping up and down.

“Yui, baby, can I ask you something?” He gently picked the little girl up, glancing at you as he put the bowl of fruit down. He sat her on his lap, “Who's Gumi's Dada?” Yui looked up at him, pointing a finger at his chest. “Alright, very good. How about you? Who’s your Dada?” You know what he’s trying to make her understand.

Yui just developed that habit because oftentimes, Megumi would run and call Toji. And what her playmates do, Yui does too. She would follow him screaming ‘Dada’ as well, but Toji never failed to gently correct her. “Toru!” She raised her short hands, clapping as she looked at you. “That’s nice. So, you call Satoru Dada, okay?” He tapped her cheek.

“Toji no? No Dada?” She shook her head at him, asking. “Yes, just look at your hair.” You butted in, pointing playfully at her as you walked towards them. You can feel Toji’s eyes on you as you sit down in front of them. You’re still not over the conversation you had earlier. But you’re not letting the kids hear about that.

Yui was pulling at her hair, trying to see the color and looking back at Toji’s to check. “See? You and Satoru look the same.” You pinched her cheek “Yui hair white.” Megumi pointed at his playmate, “Yeah, you’re getting good at colors!” You raised your hand, asking for a high five, which he gladly returned with a shy smile.

Toji looked at you as you scooted beside him, before placing a hand on your thigh. He’s ready to apologize, but he doesn’t know if he can let it go. Toji’s mind is still stuck on that day you told him Satoru was still in love with you. And if he’s being honest, it puts him in a really rough spot.

“It’s getting late.” You tapped on your phone, allowing it to light up. “Why are they not tired yet?” You yawned, feeling his thumb rub on your skin. “'cause they ate the cake.” He sighed, stretching his back before staring at you again, “What?” You asked, watching him shake his head. “We got things to talk about.” He nodded.

“I know. Later, we will.” You moved to him, pecking his lip quickly, “We can’t talk about it with the children in here.” Scrolling through your contacts, you pressed Satoru’s number. “Yui, come here, we’ll talk to Dada.” Tapping a quick message that you’ll call, you sat your child in between your thighs.

“Do you want to say sorry to Dada? You were mean to him earlier.” You poked her side, watching her nod before throwing something at her playmate.”’Gumi, sit down first.” Toji told the boy and he followed, but only to continue playing with Yui. Megumi’s a quiet kid but with playmates around, he can get hyper too.

“Wait, what if he’s asleep now?” You asked Yui, “Maybe we can apologize tomorrow when he picks you up, okay?” You kissed her cheek, hearing her whine, “Now Mama. Yui says sorry.” She tried to grab the phone. “Okay, okay. Alright. Wait a second, we’ll try.” You pressed the telephone icon. There were multiple rings but no answer.

“Dada’s asleep.” You pouted at her, “He said he wants to sleep early so he can see you early tomorrow too!” You tickled her side, making her flinch with a smile, followed by fits of giggle that made Toji chuckle. ‘Gumi quickly replaced you, laughing with the little girl as he pokes her tummy.

“Let them play like that, they’ll get tired quicker,” Toji uttered, putting a hand behind his head. “What happened earlier? I thought it was his schedule today.” He asked, referring to the events earlier. “You said that his mom was there.” He added recalling what you were explaining to him before you fought.

“Yeah, and he had to take Yui back here with me. We were supposed to eat Yui’s cake there before he takes me home because that’s what she wants. But of course, the devil ruins things.” You rolled your eyes just thinking about his Mom. You still haven’t told your mother about it, knowing how she gets when it’s about you.

“Does Satoru’s father know that she’s like that?” It’s now your turn to nod, “He’s just tired of her, actually. I know.” His father’s always busy but you’d never forget how he’d always take your infant for a walk to give her some sun.

“Oh, I thought your son wasn’t married yet. Look at this cute baby girl.” An elderly man who once visited said to him, It worried you that your child was born out of wedlock. You used to avoid going out with them to avoid this type of situation but his father didn’t mind.

“They’re not married yet. This one’s a…”mini advanced gift” for us.” He chuckled, lightly bouncing the infant in his arms. “Oh, she's like a little girl version of Satoru.” The elderly cooed when Yui opened her eyes. Whenever Satoru’s mother tries to argue with you and he’s around, he’d also say a sentence or two just to stop her.

“You’re not thinking! Getting a baby’s ear pierced. What kind of a mo—” She rambled on, claiming that I was harming her granddaughter when they visited Satoru’s house. “You’re crying about this more than the child who got her ears pierced.” Satoru’s father cut her off, rubbing his temples as he sat beside her.

Satoru was taking a call outside and his mother just had to take this opportunity to antagonize you. “I’m her grandmother. I got the right to protect her. She’s a newborn!” His mother was hysterical and if it weren’t for Satoru’s father, you would be talking back to her by now. “She’s 5 months old, Cynthia! She’s an infant. Stop arguing with the mother.”

You sat far from them, not wanting to scare the baby in your arms. “She’s not capable of—” His mother tried to retort but Satoru’s father was getting fed up “You’re not capable of understanding.” With that, the fight came to an end and after a few minutes, Satoru was walking back to the living room. “What’s going on?” He asked but his mother could only scowl.

After a little while, the kids started to get sleepy. Yui was whining as she rubbed her eyes, and Megumi kept asking for the phone. “You could let him watch something that could help him sleep. Like the—” You were about to suggest but Toji was already picking the child up, answering: “Ah, no. My wife used to cut off his screen time 30 minutes before sleep.”

You remained silent for a minute as you took off Yui’s hair ties. “Let’s go to bed.” You whispered after combing the toddler’s hair. “Come on, so we can talk.” You lifted Yui up before walking to her room with Toji trailing behind you. When Megumi and Toji stay over, he and Yui share a bed. Thankfully, it was big enough for the two of them as Yui rolls around a lot in her sleep.

You were supposed to sleep over at Toji’s house tonight. But because of the fight that you had, you figured that sleeping here would be more comfortable. It was good that he always kept some extra clothes for Megumi in his car.

Now, the two toddlers are peacefully sleeping and you two are starting to feel the tension again.

“You can go first, what is bothering you?” He asked as the two of you walked back to your room. You don’t know why but for some reason, you feel embarrassed that you’re getting jealous of his wife. Not only that but it also makes you feel overreacting. You took a deep breath as you closed your eyes, telling yourself that it was better to say it now than to let it get worse.

“It’s because…you keep talking about your wife.” You let your shoulders slouch as you plopped on the bed, watching his face contort into disbelief. “My wife?” He repeated, he looked at you as if you just told him a dark secret. “Toji, look. When you want to tell or suggest something to me, Can you not… always say that your wife did this and that? I mean… I just get uncomfortable.”

There was a pregnant pause as he straightened up, pacing back and forth as he thought of an answer. You wished he didn’t take that long because now it’s making you feel like it’s hard to decide between the living and the dead. It’s making you feel like you're not even in his top five; like you only come after someone who can't even be here.

It’s making you feel like you’re just the second best. And that’s all you’ll ever know of him too.

“Look, I am simply putting her words out. You know how much they mean to me, you know how much and what she means to me—” He sat down on a chair across the room, explaining as calmly as he can but that hurts and before you know it, you’re already asking him: “Then, what do I mean to you?” Toji looked at you, mouth slightly ajar.

“You’re jealous? Of my dead wife?” He tried to clarify like it’s the most unbelievable thing you said. “It’s not jealousy, I just—” He cut you off by exhaling harshly, rubbing his face. “She’s not here, Y/N. I could only think of her, but you’re here with me. How could you feel jealous about that?” It’s only making you feel bad; like what you’re feeling is trivial.

“It’s because you make me feel that way.” You clenched your fist. This type of pain is making you angry; not because it hurts too much but because it’s pissing you off that after everything during these months, he could still make you feel like this. “I know that if you're given a chance to choose you wouldn't want me in her place, but I wish you didn't make me feel like that too much.”

“Do you really just expect me to never reminisce about her? She’s my first wife. I lost her so suddenly I didn’t even have time to process it.” Everything that he’s saying is wrong to you and you’re not afraid to express. You cannot live with a man who probably wishes that you were someone else. “Then, why did you even date me?” Your words were sharp, like how you’re looking at him.

“And why did you even date me when you still can’t get over your ex?” He retorted, “You won't let me call you a petname because he used to call you that. How is that any different?” Now, he’s just as aggravated as you and you hated it. You hated arguing with him even if it was just about simple things and now that it’s not something simple, it frustrates you even more.

“Satoru isn’t dead, Toji. I wished that you called me something else because it’s triggering, and I don’t get to control that.” You tried to keep your voice down as your hands clenched. “I do it because I’m protecting my peace, not because I compare the things you do.” You panted, looking at him with nothing but exasperation in your eyes.

“Toji, I’m starting to feel like a placeholder.” You put your hands on your knees, hanging your head low. “I’m starting to feel like a stand-in for your dead wife. And you would keep telling me what she used to do so I could perfect it.” Biting your lip as you shook your head, “I wish you’d just understand me. I really want to try with you…”

He leaned back on the chair, keeping his eyes on you. “Look, Y/N. I’m sorry.” He spoke after a couple of seconds, “I can’t promise to not think about her because that person; that woman is the mother of my son.”

“And I want to try with you too, you know that. Maybe this will all get better with time. But I can’t find my peace knowing that he’s just there, loving you.” The room felt so big now that there was a space between you and Toji. A space that is bigger than the actual size of your room.

“Then, what should I do?” You asked him, genuinely clueless as to what he wanted to happen. “I don’t know, Y/N.” He shook his head, sighing. “What should you do when someone keeps trying to get to you?” There was an obvious answer to that.

“You know I can’t just do that. He’s the father of my daughter, Toji. You know where I’m coming from—” You looked at him, your eyebrows knitted together. “I don’t. He literally told you he regrets you and your daughter, isn’t that enough for you to take Yui away?” You shook your head, eyes tearing up as you realized what he just said.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that. Babe—” He walked towards you, grasping the weight of his words. “Don’t touch me.” You shut your eyes, not wanting to shed a tear anymore. “Just…just don’t talk to me right now, Toji.” Your hands gestured for him to stay back as you shook your head.

“I can’t believe you’d use my pain against me.” You whispered to him as you stood up, walking out of the room.

—------------------------------------------------

“What about…Yui?” Your eyes glimmered as you looked at him, “Ah…I like that.” Satoru smiled up at you, before leaning down. “Yui? Do you like that—” Before he could even finish his sentence, you stared at each other with wide eyes. “She just kicked…” He laughed, placing his hand on your bump.

“Yui. How’s my little girl?” He asked again, earning another kick after a couple of seconds. “That’s so cute, Satoru.” You gushed, happy tears pooling in your eyes. “She likes that name.” He sighed, kissing your stomach before standing up. The sinking sun made your eyes gleam.

“She’ll be here soon.” He kissed your forehead, putting his hand around your waist as he closed his eyes feeling the wind blow on his face. At that moment, he felt like he’s got everything already. At first, you talked about how everything you’ll do is just for the child.

But as months went by, seeing your face first thing in the morning and last thing in the night has already become Satoru’s favorite thing.

“What are you thinking about?” You looked up at him as you stood there on his balcony, holding his hands on your stomach. “You. So, kiss me.” He leaned down as you giggled, pecking his lips. “More.” He intertwined your fingers with his, brushing his nose on your outer ear until you gave him another one.

You wouldn’t have met if Satoru didn’t enter the bar you were working at, and that thought made Satoru grateful that he did because this is something he wouldn't want to miss.

“Y/N, stay with me.” He whispered, feeling you lean your body on him. “I love you...Y/N”

“Kiss me…” And so Naomi did, putting her lips on his as she tried to prepare him. She closed her eyes as he heard him hum, speaking other words unknown but she knew that it was to urge her to continue. “More…” The word made her exhale, relaxing more and more as he coaxed her, probably half asleep.

Maybe he’s just too sleepy and drunk. She thought, putting her hands on his chest to support herself. She raised her lower half, aligning herself with him. She traced her fingers on his arms before lacing them with his. She felt his warmth as she took a deep breath, thinking one last time before throwing it all away, frustrated.

She was ready to put it in, take all of him in her, and just let it all happen. You were a stranger to Satoru when he chose to keep a life with you. But I’m his girlfriend; his salvation and love. Satoru wouldn’t deny me and his child to me. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to find the final push to proceed.

But it only took one word from him for her to come back down. Her temperature dropped low as she felt her blood run cold.

“...Y/N.” Naomi halted her movements, eyes wide in shock. Did he just call your name in his sleep? “...Stay with me.” His brows furrowed in his sleep, and Naomi could only look as his image got blurry because of her tears. What? “I love you…Y/N.” She clasped her hand over her chest, trying to move away.

He’s dreaming about you? All this time? Tears fell from her face as she tried not to make another movement or sound. And he said he loves you? Her initial suspicions were right. Naomi’s throat constricted as she held in her sob. “No…” She whispered, finding it hard to breathe. Her ears were starting to ring as she struggled to get up.

*Ring. Ring. Ring.*

Naomi’s breath was knocked out of her lungs as she noticed Satoru’s phone ringing and vibrating beside his pillow. He can’t wake up. Not now… She thought as she forced her weak knees to work and grab the phone without startling him but it was impossible as it was right beside his head, partially covered by the pillow.

Before she could even get it, Satoru stirred awake, blinking his eyes up at her. “Naomi?” His eyes scanned her before realizing the situation she put the both of them in. “What the fuck?” His eyes went wide, trying to get up. Naomi was panicking, stepping off of him as he looked at her with confusion and disgust.

“S-Satoru, it isn’t like—” She tried to hold his hand, face wet with tears as he tried to get away from her, “What the fuck are you trying to do?” Pulling his pants before standing up. She picked up her silk robe, trying to give herself some decency as what she did started to sink into her. “Were you—fuck!” Satoru’s frustration was obvious, making Naomi flinch as she wept.

“Were trying to sleep with me while I was out?” His eyes were filled with emotions; dismay, disgust, fear, and disbelief. The last thing Satoru remembered was staring at his phone before he dozed off. Then, he remembered dreaming about you. Satoru rubbed his forehead with the heel of his palm. He knows that he shouldn’t have taken shot after shot even if he’s at home.

Satoru’s a lightweight and Naomi knows that. Could it be… “You made me drink on purpose.” His voice lowered as he pointed a finger at her. “No…I didn’t. I—” She tried to utter, voice coming out as a squeak, “I am not asking a question. I know that you did.” Satoru gritted through his teeth.

“Do you know what can happen to you?” Satoru walked towards her, glowering. “I could put you behind bars for this, Naomi.” Satoru was fuming, he didn't even know where the alcohol in his body went. He just knows that he’s dizzy. Raising his hand only to put it back down again, he doesn’t want to risk anything.

“What were you trying to do?” He spoke in a low voice, reaching for his phone on the bed. Your name was written in bold letters when he looked at his notifications. So, it was you who was calling. Once again saving him from whatever type of hell he got himself into. “N-nothing happened.” She shook her head, trying to convince him with her eyes.

“I’m not asking you if something happened or not, I’m asking about what you were trying to do.” His jaw and teeth hurt by how hard he is biting down. She sat there with tears cascading down her cheek while Satoru waited for her. “Please, don’t make me do this—”

He can't believe that a face as angelic and tame as this could do something so evil; so vile.

“Don’t make you do what? You feel embarrassed now but you weren’t embarrassed earlier when you were assaulting me!” He snapped, watching her eyes widen and her fear flashes on her face. “It’s not that, Satoru. I wasn’t trying to…” She walked to him, grabbing his hand with her cold ones. Satoru snatched his hand away, taking a step back.

His glares sent daggers to her heart. Never once has he been like this to her. “I…We were having problems. I thought that a…a child—” Naomi stopped talking, crying even more as Satoru closed his eyes and shook his head. He could tell that he was holding back on her.

“We were having problems so you thought having a child would fix it.” He finished for her, biting his lip. Her tendencies scared Satoru. He remembered how he decided not to tell her about his feelings for you earlier when he had every chance to because he felt bad. And now that one decision almost ruined him. “I’m gonna tell you now. Nothing will fix this.”

Naomi could feel her heart crack and break at his words. “Is it because of her?” She scowled, thinking about his mother’s words. “Is it because she got a boyfriend? Satoru, she's only trying to make you jealous—” She tried to explain, desperate to make him listen to her. “I don’t fucking care. I don’t care if she doesn’t take me back, I don’t care if she's only doing that to spite me.” Stopping, he took a step towards her.

“Naomi, I don’t give a fuck if she hurts me back because I fucking deserve it.” He panted, “For all the shit I put her through when I decided to be with you instead of fixing things as I promised her.” His mouth quivers as memories flash across his vision.

The day he let go, the day he started over for himself, the day he chose only for himself while you were out there waiting for a change.

“You know… I don’t regret meeting you. Because you helped me. You were a great friend to me. But I regret choosing you over Y/N. We should’ve never been something like this.” He sighed deeply, listening to her sniffles and apologies. “I should’ve just told you earlier that I’m still in love with her.” With that sentence, all her questions got answered. Naomi's world came apart.

“You’re getting checked tomorrow.” He stood up straight, grabbing his phone as he headed for the door. “Satoru, nothing happened, there’s no need to—” She tried to go after him, stopping when he paused by the door. “I don’t trust you.” He spoke before stepping out, leaving Naomi in the room with nothing but her broken heart, shame, and humiliation.

Satoru sat on the couch, running his hands through his hair. He stared blankly at the dark corner of his room, thinking about all the wrong paths he took. So much has happened and it’s not even a whole day yet. First, his mother ruined his child’s family day, and now— Cutting off his own thoughts, Satoru started to suspect something.

Naomi said she spoke to his mother. Is she, by any chance, involved with the decisions she came up with?

As much as Satoru hated to think about it, with the way his mother was acting, he couldn't help himself from thinking that she told Naomi something that made her do this. Even if she didn’t directly command her to do that, she could still be involved. Tears pooled in his eyes as he thought of it all. He did his everything to try and understand his mom, to be a good son to her.

“Naomi,” Storming back to the room, she found Naomi speaking on her phone. Terror appeared as she looked at him, hurriedly ending the call. Trudging towards her, she tried to put her phone away but with their size, it was impossible. “Who are you talking to?” He was far too angry to listen to her pleas and calls of his name.

She desperately tried to get it back but she was too late. “So, I was right? You talked to my mom about this.” He laughed bitterly, clenching the phone in his hand. “Satoru, let me explain, please. I won’t lie. We had a chat, we—” Naomi rambled on but Satoru was already pressing the call button, walking out as she chased after him.

“What?! You came up with that plan, deal with it!” Satoru can tell how annoyed she was by how she immediately answered, not even thinking about who it was. Satoru tried to keep Naomi away as she tried to grab the phone, calling her mom. “Did you coach her to violate your own son?” Satoru felt nauseous. He wants to throw up everything in his stomach.

“Satoru? No, honey, I didn’t tell her to—” Her voice cracked, shaking and tears finally escaped Satoru’s eyes. Naomi could only stand there, watching the man she loves break down because of what she did. Because of what they did. She should’ve listened to her conscience when it was telling her to stop.

Her desires brought her nothing but a quick, frail pleasure and a lifetime of agony. They gave her something to regret for the rest of her life.

“I’ll be in contact with Dad. And you won’t ever hear from me again once I settle all of this.” His voice was hoarse, low, and rough. Not giving himself a chance to hear his mother’s cries, Satoru ended the call. Before Naomi could even talk he was already harshly shrugging her touch off of him, “Don’t even try to explain. It’s clear to me now.”

“Satoru, can you just listen for a bit, I didn’t want to do that—'' She choked on her own sobs, “But you did! And I could get you arrested for it.” Satoru threatened, making her shake her head in fear. “You’ll get tested tomorrow.” He pointed a finger at her face, before turning to leave.

Entering his child’s room, Satoru sat on the bed, letting himself crumble and fall apart.

—-------------------------------------------

“Mama, mama!” You woke up to the feeling of someone jumping on the bed beside you. “Eat, Y/N. Let’s eat.” Looking down, you found two children looking at you in their pajamas. “Alright, alright. I’ll be up in a minute, calm down. “ You rubbed your eyes, smiling even as you remembered how the other night went.

After an hour of sitting in the kitchen, Toji came out. You refused to look at his face, but you can feel his cautious movements around you. You subtly wiped your cheeks, trying to hide the fact that you cried. You always know that it’s alright to cry to him, but for some reason, you feel like you’re so far away from him right now.

You felt like he was holding a weapon against you. One shot could be enough to tear you down again.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, after a couple of seconds of standing in front of you. You looked down, leaning on the kitchen counter. “I didn’t mean to say that.” Toji took a seat on one of the chairs, patiently waiting for you to respond. Sighing, you looked up at him, seeing him looking at you with contrite in his eyes.

“You’re a father too, Toji.” You tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear, before letting your hand rest on your nape. “I know, Y/N. I shouldn’t have said that.” Toji admits that he felt like you were being unfair to him. He didn’t realize that he was the one being unfair to Satoru when he’s obviously trying to stay at a distance.

“Please, understand that I’m not asking you to forget your wife. I just don’t like feeling like I’m…like I’m not enough.” You swallowed right after saying it, as if it’s a strong medicine that tasted bad enough to numb your tongue. “I’ve had enough of feeling like that.” It was barely above whisper, Toji didn’t really catch it but he wrapped you in his arms.

“I’m sorry, I really am.” Kissing your forehead, he felt you relax in his arms. Toji hated himself for making you feel like this again. He hated that he let himself project his feelings on you. The jealousy was coming from him and not you. He failed to understand your point because he was blinded by his bitterness over the fact that you and Satoru are finally getting along.

He didn’t even think of the child involved.

“I’m tired. I just want to sleep.” You murmured to his chest, “Alright, alright. Let’s go.” With that, you and Toji went to bed; with his arms around you and your back against his chest. You didn’t want your head against his chest, you can’t bring yourself to look in his eyes.

You were afraid that you’d hear a different name if you listened to the beat of his heart. It would be painful to see a different woman in the reflection in his eyes.

Picking up your phone, you felt the two kids lay beside you. There were texts from Satoru. You initially assumed that it’s probably because of your missed call from the night before but your brows furrowed in confusion when you saw how early he sent them. 4:37 in the morning.

Opening the messages, you heard Toji enter the room. “What are you two doing? I said "no jumping on the bed.”” Your eyes were glued to the screen of your phone, taking in every single word in Satoru’s messages. “Good morning,” You felt a kiss on your forehead, “You okay?” Toji asked, curious as to why you looked worried first thing in the morning.

“Satoru’s got matters, he can’t pick Yui up until later today.” You spoke, opening the next message. I saw your call last night. I couldn’t call back because it was late. I fell asleep early. “It’s probably because of what happened yesterday.” You caught a sigh escape from Toji’s lips. “He’ll be ok. He won’t let you get caught up in this.”

He sat down next to you as he looked at the screen, you didn’t bother hiding it, not wanting to make him feel like you’re hiding something. “Do you want to talk to him?” You looked at him as soon as the words escaped his lips. “It’s okay. He would say that if he needed that.” You replied, looking away after giving him a small smile.

“Well then let’s have breakfast, I cooked something. The kids woke up really early.” He chuckled, pecking your cheek. “I’ll be there.” You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into you as you kissed his ear. “Thank you so much.” You whispered to him, feeling his weight on you.

“Anything for you.” Only Toji knows how much he meant those words.

—-------------------------------------------

“It will be out in two days.” Satoru threw the car keys on the couch, before walking towards the stairs. “You can take all your belongings. If I–“ He trailed but Naomi cut him off, “Satoru, I’m sorry. I was just desperate to–“ He gave her a warning look, making her look down. He’s been nothing but cold to her.

“You’re desperate so you tried to do that to me?” He shook his head, “You know, I’m sorry too. I regret that I didn’t just tell you what was really going on. I should've just broken up with you that day. I thought I could save it if I tried, even just for the sake of the time we were together and what you did for me, but I can’t. This wouldn't have happened, you wouldn't have gotten a chance to do that.” Satoru was getting harsher and harsher with his words.

Filled with mixed emotions, he watched as the woman he trusted cried again. She’s been crying since the night before but he couldn’t find it in himself to comfort her. He doesn’t even want to be under the same roof as her at that moment. When he thinks about what could’ve happened if he didn’t wake up on time, or if you didn’t call, all he feels is dread.

“I will be the first to touch the test results.” Satoru declared as he clenched his jaw, “Satoru…can’t we just wait until—” Naomi tried to grab his arm, looking at him with teary, pleading eyes. She’s shaking, and her fingers are freezing. “Wait until what? ‘Till I can’t go back? ‘Til you achieve what you’re trying to do?! ‘Til you ruin every hope that I have?!” The woman cowers in fear and embarrassment.

“Naomi, are you not scared? Of this mess that you got me in?” He hissed at her face, watching her look down as she sobbed. She’s visibly trembling at this point, “You should be ashamed.” Satoru nodded his head, clenching his fists. “For what you’ve done... you should be ashamed.” He walked out of the room, slamming the door on her as she fell down to her knees, wailing.

Locking the door, Satoru changed quickly, before laying down on the bed. His head’s been killing him since last night; hangover, sleeplessness and stress are continuously tearing through every muscle. He looked at his phone, seeing the hundred missed calls from his mom who probably came earlier, as expected, when they went to the hospital.

Satoru was just about to put his phone down when it started to vibrate. Your contact with a picture of Yui and you flashed on the screen. He didn’t waste any time answering the video call. Seeing his little girl made all the tiredness leave his body. She looked down at the phone, smiling at him.

“Dada! Dada, Hi!” Waving at him, “Hey, baby. I’ll pick you up in a bit, alright? Dada just needs to nap.” He watched her scrunch her brows, seeing your frowning face for a second. “Yui don’t want.” She whined, hearing the word ‘nap.’ Laughing, Satoru saw you peek on the screen, “Not Yui. Dada will nap.”

“Take your time to rest. You look really tired.” You talked, holding a baby plate in your hand. “I just noticed she’s starting to look like you.” He chuckled, sighing as his eyes blinked slowly. You remained silent on the other end of the line, feeding a spoon full to the toddler.

“What were you going to say to Dada?” You talked to Yui, wiping her chin. “Sorry. Yui, uhm, Yui not nice.” The view kept shaking as she struggled to hold the phone in her small hands. “It’s ok, baby. Dada will buy you the cake, as promised.” The way her eyes lit up as she heard the word made Satoru forget about his problems.

After a little bit of talking and watching his daughter eat, you took the phone from her but still kept the camera on her face. “Say bye-bye now, let Dada sleep for a bit.” You spoke, and the kid obediently followed, waving her father goodbye, “Bye-bye. Dada.” She looked up at you, “See you later,” Repeating each word you say, Satoru could only tell her how much he loves her.

He wished to tell you that he loves you too but that wouldn’t be right.

“I’ll call later. “ He talked to you, hearing you hum, “Alright, rest well.” With that, you ended the call, leaving Satoru on the verge of sleep. He prayed to dream of you and maybe even do the things that he wished to do with you. He wished that he could just ask you to hold him before he breaks down again.

He realized that all this time, it’s you, it’s your arms that he needed to put him back together again permanently and not just as some sort of comfort that could so easily break. If he had a choice to turn back time, he’d turn it all the way back to when you, Yui, and he were together; not before he met you.

Because even if his relationship with you began with an obligation, it was still his choice to love you.

—------------------------------------------------------

TWO DAYS LATER

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. It’s alright.” He spoke to the phone, struggling to put his seatbelt on. Satoru’s been anxious, he couldn’t even sleep properly. Today, he’ll be receiving the test results. “I just got back from Toji’s, and he’s got something to do so he couldn’t take me to pick Yui up.” You sighed from the other line.

You were about to take a cab to Satoru’s house but he insisted that he’ll just drop Yui off back to you. “Let’s talk about the car next time, okay? So, you don’t have to commute.” He reminded, hearing you hum. “Yeah, ok. I’ll tell Toji about it too.” With that, you bid farewell, telling him to drive safely before dropping the call.

“Alright, let’s go to Mama.” Satoru looked over at his daughter who was sucking on her binky. She nodded eagerly, wiggling her little legs as she claps her small hands. Satoru didn’t tell you about what happened with Naomi. He doesn’t even know if he’ll be able to. That night was still clear to him. He closed his eyes, grabbing the steering wheel before starting to drive.

The car ride to your house was filled with little giggles and occasional singing of his little girl. She slowed Satoru down, preventing his mind from overheating from thinking about things as she playfully calls him every now and then. "Dada! Yui hair!" She pulled at the strands, scrunching her nose as she laughed. "Dada hair!" Her fingers pointed at him.

Satoru smiled at her through the mirror, instantly understanding what she was implying. "Ah, yes, we have the same hair." He cooed, making the little girl cover her eyes as she smiled, "You're a smart kid." In no time, the two of them reached your apartment. The kid kept hugging her Dad as they walked up your steps, as if sensing his distress.

"Baby!" You opened the door for them, kissing Yui's cheek. He can see your eyes scan his face, a hint of worry was etched on your features, "Would you like to come in? How did things go?" You were reluctant to ask the question, worried that it might be a bit too private for you to know. But it looked like he needed it when a small, sad smile appeared on his lips.

"Not good," He sighed, "I'll tell you about it some other time." Satoru went inside but only to put down his daughter's bag. "I, uh, have a delivery coming today, so…" Nodding, your mouth formed an 'O' shape, "Alright, you better get back then. Say bye to Dada." You adjusted your daughter on your hip, urging her to give her father a kiss.

"Bye love, I'll see you in a few days." He pecked the kids forehead, patting her hair and smiling at you as he went. His head, his heart and his feet felt heavy as he walked away. It's like the second Satoru left your apartment, his headache was back knowing that whatever's waiting for him at his house could be another obstacle to pass. And the worst; it could be something that he can never run away from.

He arrived only a couple of minutes earlier than the mailman. The envelope felt like a tonne in his hand as he took it, signing quickly before thanking the worker. Satoru stared at it as he walked to his living room, sitting down on the couch when he felt like his knees were about to give up. With cold fingers, he opened it, going directly to the section where he could find his peace.

Eyes widening as he breathed out the air he didn't know was holding in, he slammed the papers on the table as he pulled his phone out and dialed the number he's been hoping to call ever since the incident.

"Dad, I need to talk to you."

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[k4g3hika]

CONSUME ━ imagine!

suna rintarou x fem!reader

summary: suna rintarou was hard to love, you knew this from the beginning. but when you overhear him admitting how he truly felt about you, it hurt to decide whether to let him go, or let your love for him continuously consume you.

genre: hurt/comfort

wc: 6.2k

tags: this is the longest imagine that i’ve ever written 😭 it was a pain in the ass to write but i hope you guys like it :)

Sometimes, you think it’s hard to love Suna.

Suna is calculating and quiet, the reasons exactly why you find it difficult to continuously pine for him. Though, you already knew he was going to act like this. You’ve gone to school with Suna since elementary, and have even lived in the same neighbourhood since childhood, but you don’t think he knows that.

The thing is, you know Suna, but you don’t think he knows you. Every morning since you were six years old, you’ve seen him make his way to school, but you’ve never had the courage to walk up to him and say ‘hi’. For years, the only parts of Suna that you were able to truly admire were his back and his hair, from behind. The both of you have never been in the same friend group, class, or extra-curricular activity, until your second-year of high school.

You precisely remember the moment you stepped into the gymnasium to introduce yourself as the new manager of the team. It was a rainy day and you were excited, albeit, a little nervous, but irregardless, excited because you know and love volleyball. The sport connected with some of your childhood memories, as you recall playing it with your older brother. Too bad your physical skills weren’t up to par with the school’s expectations, or else you would’ve been on the team. Their loss though, because you found your strategy and knowledge of the sport to be your strongest feature as a player.

As a result of the girl’s team already having a manager, the coach recommended you to try signing up for the role of manager for the boy’s team. Now, you didn’t mind being around boys. Your older brother was enough for you to build up the courage against the challenge that is the hygiene and personality, or well, lack thereof, of boys.

However, the courage built over the years was not enough to stop your surprise at seeing none other than Suna Rintarou, from the front.

He looked completely different from what you remember him looking like. For some reason, you still had the young image of Suna in your head. The Suna you remember had puffy cheeks and neat hair, but this new Suna, was mature, older, and way more handsome. His cheeks thinned out and highlighted a sharp jawline that made his face look so clean-cut, unlike his hair that was messy and all over the place. But, if anything, you think that you prefer this Suna.

Because, God, it made him so much more attractive.

Now, it’s been about three months since you’ve become manager, and in those three months, you’ve tried to show Suna just how much you love him. The years of no talking and never meeting each other were all building up for you, and you just wanted to show him all of the care and affection you’ve held for him over the years.

You’ve cooked bento boxes and given them to him, you’ve filled his water bottle with the expensive electrolytes from the convenience store ten minutes away from the school before every practice, and who couldn’t forget, you make sure that his towel was clean and warm beside his gym bag, so that he wouldn’t use the same one for weeks until it reeked. Your affection was clearly shown through your actions and you prayed to the heavens that he would just notice you. Maybe say a ‘thank you’ or even a little head pat, you really don’t care, just some recognition would make you feel rewarded after all the hard work you’ve done for him.

But, the bento boxes were returned to you either by, Atsumu or Osamu, Suna drank the expensive electrolyte water, however, he seemed to not notice that it was you who put all the thought and care behind the action, and his towel was always just thrown to the side alongside the other towels. Even though the towel you prepped was a personal one from home that had your initials hand sewn in the corner. You thought that at one point he would’ve acknowledged you, but the gratefulness never came.

It didn’t matter though. Because you knew in your heart that you loved Suna Rintarou, and there was nothing that could change that. Even if you did all the sincere actions for him until the both of you graduated and he never noticed you, just knowing that he at least saw the bento box, the water bottle, and your towel, was enough to put a smile on your face. You would show Suna that you love him, ten times over.

“Y/N! Earth to Y/N!” Your head snaps over to your right, seeing the coach look at you with concern. Embarrassed that he caught you in your daily Suna trance, your cheeks heats up and you push yourself to your feet.

“Coach!”

“I thought you would never hear me. Listen, I don’t know what’s taking all your attention away, but can you please head down to the locker room and tell the boys that they need to make their way over here. The drill we spoke about yesterday is a bit complicated, so I would like to get started as soon as possible.” Nodding, you bow and begin to make your way over to the club room.

Your heart begins to speed up a bit, as the thought of seeing Suna shirtless makes your chest burn and your face hot. By all means, you are not a pervert! But just seeing him with all his muscles in the bright fluorescent light of the locker room looked like a cover of a sports magazine.

Suna Rintarou makes you feel so nervous. Unfortunately, you find yourself relishing in the minimal acknowledgement that he gives you, thriving off of the fact that you were in a club that just allowed you to be around him. Maybe it was a sign from the heavens that you weren’t physically athletic, but strategically, which resulted in your application as Boys Volleyball team manager. You’d like to think that despite his ignorance, it was in both of your guys’ destinies to end up with another.

Maybe the both of you were the main characters of a drama, where, despite all the bumps in the plot, you will always find each other being drawn to one another. Yet again, that was all just your stupid imagination, but one can dream, right?

Giggling to yourself, you were about to knock on the locker room door, before you heard loud voices through the small space between the door and the wall. It sounded like they were bickering with one another, and you begin to wonder if it’s Atsumu and Osamu fighting again, while everyone just stood around and observed. Normally, you would be the one to beg them to stop while Kita jumped in after you to pull them apart. But, now that you weren’t inside, you begin to push open the door at the possibility.

“...Y/N?” Your actions falter at the sound of your name.

‘Are they talking about me?’ Before you could do anything, you lean your ear in just to get a snippet of what they were talking about. You know what they say though, curiosity was what killed the cat.

“Come on Sunarin! You have to like Y/N! She’s so cute, and she cooks you all those bento boxes! If that isn’t girlfriend material, then I don’t know what is.” Hearing Atsumu praise you for your efforts made you smile, trying to hide it by covering your mouth with your hand.

“And, let’s not forget how she already likes you. C’mon Rintarou, we’ve seen her personally hand you your water bottle,” The voice you assume to be Ojiro teases, while everyone in the room laughs.

“Oh yeah!! I’ve seen those expensive electrolyte packets in her bag, man, how does it feel to receive such special treatment from Y/N?”

‘So my actions don’t go unnoticed.’ Your smile grows bigger, clutching your clipboard closer to your chest when feeling just how full your heart is with everyone’s recognition.

“Stop it guys.” Suna’s smooth voice finally enters the picture and you try to stop yourself from giggling out loud. “She’s our manager.”

“So?!? Man, that’s even better! You won’t have a girlfriend who doesn’t understand the importance of the sport. If anything, Y/N is more committed than you, maybe you will be the one competing for her attention against the club,” you hear smooching sounds and Atsumu speaks in a voice that tries to mock Suna’s, but did a terrible job.

“Y/N~ don’t forget all about me!! I love you Y/N~!” More kissing sounds can be heard, and everyone in the room laughs one more time.

The joy in your heart would’ve been extended, if it weren’t for the sudden aggravated scoff from Suna, and the slapping of a towel on bare skin. Atsumu yelps and the room suddenly dies down from the initial humorous atmosphere.

“Man, shut up. I don’t like Y/N. She’s alright, I guess.” a locker door slams shut, “But sometimes, she's just so... annoying. I don't know how much longer I can put up with it. And you know, after a while, it just comes off as desperate.”

‘Desperate? I’m not desperate.’ You weren’t keen on Suna noticing you. You just liked doing all those things for him, it showed you cared, and that he was at least deserving of some special treatment, because he was a very special person in your life.

“I feel bad for her,” he continues, “spending all that time doing shit for someone that doesn’t even like her. I can’t say anything though, cause she’s our manager and I don’t want the team to feel awkward. I guess I just have to suffer with her smothering me all the damn time.”

At that, you feel your once fluttering heart stop. You feel tears beginning to make their way to fall from your eyes, as your face begins to feel hot, but not in a blushing way. More like in a, you were about to sob out loud and the tears probably wouldn’t stop for a while, way.

You loved Suna. He didn’t have to love you back, the least you were asking for was for him to say ‘thank you’. But it appeared that your affection didn’t appear as a display of your love, but something that bothered him. Annoying him to the point of seeing your actions as suffocating. But that didn’t entirely bother you.

It was the fact that he didn’t even want to tell you to stop. He was going to live like that until high school was over, because you were the team’s manager, and it would be ‘awkward’. You begin to overthink.

What if you kept on going about cooking those bento boxes for him, filling his water up with electrolytes, and bringing a special towel from home, all warm and clean, without knowing what he actually thought of your displays of affection? You would’ve lived thinking that Suna somewhat appreciated it. Possibly having the idiotic thought that he was just shy, and maybe didn’t know how to exactly tell you that he liked you.

You are such a dumbass.

You begin to tremble, the pen that was once held up by your clipboard clattering to the ground and startling you. It brought you back to your situation, seeing the door still somewhat closed in front of you. Out of fear that they were going to see you and realise that you were eavesdropping, you ditch the pen and begin to run back to the gym.

You were going to tell the coach that you were feeling sick. You hope the teary eyes and flushed cheeks will do you justice, and he’ll send you home without any repercussions. But as of right now, nothing matters, all that did was the fact that you were annoying the boy you loved, and that your pillows were waiting to welcome your tears until tomorrow morning.

—

It’s been two days. Have you missed school for the past two days? Absolutely not. Suna wasn’t going to make you miss class, as much as you wanted to, you know that if you were going to skip, the school will inform your parents, and that last thing you want is your parents to get involved.

It’s just been two days since you’ve been to volleyball practice. You haven’t been missing your duties at all though. Yes, you’ve been in contact with the coach and Kita, with them informing you on the notes of the team and each player’s performance. The reason for that being, some coaches from Tokyo were planning to head down to Hyogo for a volleyball camp. The team needs to know what they have to improve on, and unfortunately, though you felt as if you weren’t in the right state of mind, you had to fulfil your duties as a manager.

You’re not over Suna, and to be honest, you don’t think you ever will be. He’s been such a constant force in your life, that a lifetime without his presence captivating your mind felt impossible to even conjure. You love Suna Rintarou, but you guess you would just have to hold it inside until the both of you go your separate ways. Maybe then you’ll get over him, but the possibility seemed unlikely.

You just have to give up expecting the response to your love that you’ve been hoping for your entire life.

Checking the cafeteria and seeing if you had enough food supply for three volleyball teams, their respective coaches, and their managers. It seemed like a chore to do all on your own, and it was. But you committed to being the team manager. Suna wasn’t going to change that whether he liked it or not.

“Y/N, the Tokyo teams will be arriving soon. Coach says you need to head to the front and help him with dorm placement.” Sighing and nodding, you get up from your squatting position from the bottom shelf. Kita notices your negative mood, by being the observant asshole that he is. As you were about to exit out the only doorway, he grabs your forearm, holding you back from actually leaving. His sudden touch surprised you, resulting in you jolting back. “I’ve been meaning to ask, are you okay?”

His concern falters your thoughts and movements. In all the time that you’ve been manager of the volleyball team, Kita has never really shown you that much care for how you felt. It surprised you a bit, seeing how concerned he looked for your wellbeing.

Yet again, he’s Suna’s friend.

“I’m okay, why do you ask?” He didn’t believe you, that was clear. It was so obvious when his facial expression did not change, Kita was still staring intently at you. It almost felt like he was trying to read your mind.

“You dropped your pen, by the way.” Taking it out of his pocket, Kita hands you your familiar piece of stationary, not thinking about it, you grab it from his hand. “I know you were by the locker room when Suna said what he said.”

‘Oh shit.’ You felt your heart come to a stop, yet again.

“W-What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So it’s just a coincidence that after Suna said that about you, I found your pen in front of the locker room door, and you didn’t show up to practise till today? Y/N, I’m not sure if you’ve failed to learn something about me, but I can tell you that I am not an idiot.”

His words caught you off-guard. Kita managed to figure out what was wrong with you, without even knowing who you were. To be honest, it scared you a bit, getting a glimpse of what Kita can truly find out when he concentrated hard enough. You admire that about him.

Taking your silence as you not knowing what to say, Kita lets go of your forearm and sighs.

“Suna didn’t mean what he said. He’s a very thoughtful individual who was pressured into saying those things by the team. You know how they are. Please try to see things from his perspective, as Suna is often misunderstood.” He begins to walk away, but leaves with a final word, “I’m not telling you to change how you feel about the situation. You have a right to feel how you feel. But, don’t take Suna’s words too seriously.” Kita walks away, leaving you alone in the cafeteria.

‘Did he just say not to take the insults Suna threw at you seriously?’ The aggression left behind the negativity a few days ago wants to say, absolutely not. What Kita said is unfair, to you and your feelings. Suna called you annoying and said you were smothering him, how can you jump around that? So far you haven’t had a night where you haven’t thought about how…mean Suna was. You thought that he only would’ve been mean to Atsumu or the others, but not you, never you.

It’s safe to say that your mind felt like it was on the verge of exploding. It was so stressful to choose whether or not you should believe Kita and show Suna your love again, or just ignore him like what you’ve been doing for the past couple of days.

You think that it’s best to just…not think about the problem. It’s a situation for later, for now, the camp and most importantly, the team needs your utmost attention.

‘God, I hate high school.’

—

“Hey Suna, you good?” Suna takes a sip of water from his bottle, noting that it tasted different from usual. Nodding, he wipes his sweat off with a spare shirt from his bag, also becoming aware that the towel that he was given wasn’t the usual soft one that he had from the beginning of the year. This one was coarse and rough, making him pick up the shirt he intended to wear if he got too sweaty.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Hey, does the water taste a bit weird? Like, spoiled or somethin’ cause it doesn’t taste like how it usually does.” Osamu’s eyebrow raises, grabbing the bottle from Suna’s hands despite his protests, and tasting his friend’s drink. To him, it tasted normal, like the normal water that came from the water fountain.

“No…it tastes like how it usually does?”

“Nah, can’t be man. The water I usually have is sweeter and it tastes like fruit juice. This shit tastes weird.” Suna’s face scrunches up, tasting his water again to see if he was just hallucinating the lack of flavour in his water. It’s stupid, how much he’s overthinking the flavour of something that he shouldn’t think that much about. But he hates how regular water tastes like, only really drinking it if he has to.

Observing Suna, it clicks in Osamu’s head what was missing from the water.

In the past, he has noticed you getting out a packet of electrolytes and putting it into Suna’s bottle with a sincere smile on your face. You looked so cute and happy, it puzzled him why you didn’t tell Suna that it was you that was making his water suitable to his tastes. The silent display of affection made him so jealous, he could only wish that he had someone that cared that much.

“What if you ask Y/N? She’s the one who fills up the water bottles anyway, she should know.” Osamu jogs back to the court, practising once more with the team captain. Inquisitively, Suna does remember that you fill up the water bottles. He also remembered how you asked him once at the beginning of the school year what his favourite drink was, and he only shrugged, saying that he likes fruit chuupets, and ever since then, his water tasted like the familiar fruity taste. Wanting to know why his water hasn’t been tasting like it as of late, it prompted him to go on a search for you. Damn warmups, he needs to know why his water doesn’t have the same taste than it usually does.

Looking around the gym, he sees your figure turn into the hallway. Following you, he begins to walk faster in order to catch up to you, thinking about what to say to you in his head, without coming across as mean.

‘Y/N, why does my water taste bad?’ No. ‘Y/N, why doesn’t my water taste like fruit?’ No, he’s going to sound stuck up. ‘Y/N, why does my water taste like everyone else’s?’ Oh God no, that sounds even worse.

‘Y/N, is there something different about my water?’ There you go. That should sound right.

He was ready to confront you, preparing himself to call out your name. But before he could do so,

“Dove!” Suna’s head snaps to the loud voice in front of him, and so does yours, as a tall, lanky, goofy-looking boy makes his way towards you. Much to Suna’s dismay, for some reason, a smile etches itself onto your face as the other man approaches you. “I thought I would never find you.”

“Tetsu, aren’t you supposed to be practising with your team? You shouldn’t be behind here.”

“Well, I just wanted to see my girl. Is there any harm in that, Dove?”

“Tetsu, stop,” you mutter, a bit shy, “I don’t want people from my school to hear you call me that.”

“Aw, you’re still cute as ever. Here, let me help you with that.” Suna sees the guy, ‘Tetsu’, grab the basket of water bottles from your hands. You protest, pouting a bit as Kuroo brings the case above your reach so that you wouldn’t be able to get it back. “I haven’t seen you in awhile Dove, let me be nice, okay?”

Honestly, he personally doesn’t know what overcame him, but out of nowhere Suna coughed loud enough for the pair to hear. He sees you jump a bit, seeing that one of your teammates, catching you in the midst of a conversation while you were supposed to be doing your duties. And it was even worse for you, as not only was it a teammate, but it was Suna. You assume that he probably hates your guts, based on what he said before. Even so, his glare started to make you feel a bit nervous.

“Can I help you?” Kuroo asks Suna as walks up to the both of them.

“I should be asking you that question. Do you need something from my team manager?” Embarrassed, you look down at your feet, trying to avert your eyes from Suna or Kuroo’s.

Kuroo’s eyes squint, looking at the middle-blocker who, to his surprise, matches his height. The both of them begin to have a staring competition, as one or the other refuses to tear away the eye contact. It started to worry you, because it’s almost been two minutes of harsh breathing and aggressive stares.

“O-Okay, I’ll be taking these then.” You grab the crate from Kuroo and begin to make your way to your original location. “Get back to practise guys! Lunch is in thirty!”

“Who are you and why were you talking to Y/N?”

“Woah, woah, buddy, why are you getting protective? Y/N, is a very, very, close friend of mine, so I think that I have a right to approach her right?” Kuroo smirks, stepping closer to Suna as a form of intimidation. “How about you? Are you her boyfriend or something?”

Suna glares at Kuroo, wanting nothing more than to hit him in the jaw. He would, but one, that would take too much of his energy, and two, he’s pretty sure you would hate him if he does. Still, something in Suna just wanted to tell Kuroo that he was your boyfriend just for him to back off.

But he wasn’t. Because he doesn’t like you. He’s sure of that.

“No.” Kuroo laughs, stepping back before turning to make his way back to the gym.

“Well then, that means nothing is stopping me right?” Kuroo walks away, but not before aggressively pushing Suna’s shoulder back with his own. Though, Suna was too concentrated on what the other boy said to even progress the aggression from the other side.

‘What did he mean ‘nothing is stopping him? Is Kuroo going to do something to you? What will Kuroo do that’ll result in Suna blocking him?’

“Sunarin! What are you still doing out here?!” Atsumu shriek could be heard from down the hall, making Suna jump out of his train of thought. He completely forgot that he was even standing here just staring at a wall and thinking of you. That was weird.

He usually never did.

—

The practice game against Inarizaki and Nekoma was…tense.

You could feel the passive aggressiveness coming strangely, from Kuroo and Suna across the net. Everyone else was curious as well, wondering exactly why these two, who’ve never met before, suddenly have a feud similar to that of a world war. At first, you were completely clueless, but then began to wonder if something happened in the hallway after you left.

Maybe Suna said something to tease Kuroo? Or maybe, it was the other way around and now they just want to kill each other.

In the third set at twenty-two points to Inarizaki and twenty-four points to Nekoma, the stakes and the nerves were equally as high. Nekoma has one win and Inarizaki has the other. It seems that this practice game was being played for far more than it actually was, since Kuroo and Suna never acknowledged each other apart from glaring and swearing at each other under their breath. Their respective teams kept asking them if they were okay, both replying with, “yeah, let’s just win.”

“Do you think something happened between Suna and that Nekoma player?” The coach asks you, leaning in and whispering it so that others wouldn’t hear.

“I’m not sure…but they do seem pretty aggressive with one another.”

Then, as you look away for just a moment, a spike comes from Nekoma, but was thankfully received by Kita. Following a set by Atsumu, Osamu jumped to spike it down, but was then blocked by none other than Kuroo himself.

At the brink of time, Ojiro retrieves it back, calling Atsumu to set it once more, this time for Suna to powerfully spike it down, aiding them in their two point loss between them and Nekoma. As Suna jumps up, you see Kuroo and Kenma jump as well.

A feeling of failure begins to settle in your heart.

Suna hits the ball, powerfully, the first time you’ve seen him hit a ball with so much energy.

But the ball immediately lands back down onto the same side, Kita not able to have caught up to it in time. Nekoma cheers out loud, congratulating each other on their hard work.

While Inarizaki lost, they began to support each other for their efforts, but you notice that Suna didn’t look as relieved as the others. His stare is hostile, facing towards the otherside where you see Kuroo looking at him with the same confrontational gaze. You swallow nervously, beginning to make your way towards Suna to pull him back. The Inarizaki boys take notice as well, observing how Suna and Kuroo were both stomping their way to each other. The same feeling of failure seeps into your chest again and you could sense something was going to go terribly wrong–

Suna punched Kuroo in the jaw!

Out of nowhere, a fight begins between the two players, both of them tussling with one another in the middle of the court. Kuroo lands a punch on Suna but is equally stunned when Suna fights back almost immediately after. You notice how Kuroo was pulling at his shirt, trying to bring him closer to land another blow, but fails as Suna strikes him one after the other. Both Nekoma and Inarizaki run up to their players, trying to pull them apart from one another.

The coaches start to shout at their players, ordering them to stop what they were doing at once.

Successfully, they both are torn apart from one another, but still continue to fight the air as they try to continue their brawl.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Your coach asks, trying to instill some discipline into his player. Unfortunately, your heart fails to calm down after witnessing the both of them fight so aggressively. You’ve never seen Suna fight someone, or him be so mad.

Suna looks up, pulling his arms away from his teammates and stares at you.

As the both of you make eye-contact, you refuse to move from your position and remain shaking. Almost as if you gave him an answer to something, Suna walks away, leaving behind everyone in awe.

Just then, you look up at Kita, who nods for you to go.

‘Should I go?’

The memory of him calling you annoying and smothering comes back in your mind.

‘Does he deserve my comfort?’

“Please try to see things from his perspective, as Suna is often misunderstood.”

Putting down the clipboard on the bench, you run outside to try and find Suna. Fall has never been kind to Hyogo, as rain pelts down from the sky, fogging your ability to try and see Suna. You call out his name, but your volume is minute in comparison to the strength of the rain.

Running into the open hallway, you look left and right to try and find the familiar boy. But, no luck. Your heart begins to ache at the realisation that you had no idea where Suna is. You didn’t know what he was doing all by himself in weather like this. Inside, you sincerely hope that he didn’t run out in the street.

‘Oh God, what if he did?’

Out of sheer panic, you run towards the direction of the gate, praying to the heavens that he didn’t do the latter. With rain coming down this hard, you knew that driver’s wouldn’t be able to see as clearly as they usually do. And the thought of Suna running into the street in hopes of getting his comfort jelly chuupets at the convenience store down the road doesn’t make you feel better at all.

You run out the gate, looking towards the direction of the store, failing to catch Suna or any person resembling him standing in the vicinity of it. Trying to get nearer and get a closer look, the sound of a blaring horn fills your ears. Turning to the left, you see a car heading your way, swerving side to side in a skidding motion. The road was so slippery in this type of weather, but why couldn’t you move?

The car was getting closer and your feet felt like they were stuck on the ground.

‘Why can’t I move?’

“Y/N!” Your body jerks back to the side. The car swiftly passes the both of you, getting back onto its regular general direction before driving further down the road. You feel your heart beating profusely, your heaving chest moving up and down in hopes of slowing it. “Are you stupid?! What do you think you’re doing?!?”

Looking up to thank your saviour, Suna’s panicked face greets you causing you to go silent. Both at the same time, you feel relief and stress seeing his face. Mostly relief because you’ve finally found him after all the events that occured today.

“Answer me—“

“Idiot!” Pushing him back, Suna stands there stunned while you clench your fists by your sides. “What—What do you think you’re doing, getting into fights, running out in the rain…are you a child?!? What is going on with you??”

Suna stands there silently.

“And don’t just stand there, I ran out in the road because, because I thought you went to buy your stupid chuupets that you love so much down at the convenience store! You are like a child, wanting fucking food when you’re angry or stressed. You know, I shouldn’t have come out here. In the rain, getting all wet. But you know what Suna, you know what’s pathetic? This, running in shitty weather like this, wouldn’t only be the most drastic thing I do for you.

Suna, for months, I-I’ve been buying expensive ass electrolyte packets, because I know you wouldn’t drink regular water. You only drink water that tastes like fruit juice. That’s from my own money by the way! I also cook you food, that I spend time out of my nights, and sometimes mornings, because you are picky! I know you don’t like cafeteria food, so I just threw my food into the circle, hoping to God that you just might like it! And-And let’s not forget about my towel, my hand sewn, hand washed, machine dried towel. I bring it for you fresh everyday Suna! I know you don’t like the rough school towels, so I brought mine with my initials!

And do I get noticed? No! I never got a ‘thank you’, or even a nod of recognition?! I have Atsumu or Osamu return my bento box in silence, even my towel, thrown into the pile with the rest of the team’s towels, and I get called annoying. I slave myself every day, Suna, just to get your attention. But I don’t think you realise that, I don’t have to do these things. I have never, ever, forced myself to do these things.

I am sorry, if I smother you Suna. I just love you so fucking much that I don’t realise the things I do to care for you, are exhausting.

But now, I’m exhausted. Of not receiving the gratitude I expect for the things I do. I was fine for awhile Suna, but now I’m—“

Then, you feel yourself being pushed onto his chest. One of Suna’s arms wrap around your waist, while the other holds your head down gently, as if silencing you from saying the rest of what you wanted to say. You feel shock course through your veins as the last thing you expected was a hug from the Suna Rintarou.

You and Suna stood under the harsh rain, their heartbeats echoing the drumming of waterdrops around them. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them in that intimate moment.

“Don’t get tired Y/N, please don’t get tired of me.” Out of nowhere, you feel yourself begin to cry. Wiping your tears onto Suna’s already wet jersey, he manages to sense your exhaustion, urging him to glide his hand on top of your head continuously. “I am grateful Y/N, that you do all these things for me without me having to ask.”

Suna pulls the both of you apart, cradling your face as he attempts to wipe your tears off. Despite his efforts however, you continue to cry, meanwhile struggling to breathe as you attempt to catch your breath. It feels like despite all the tears you’ve cried in private, seeing Suna recognise you brought a whole different wave of emotions.

“Don’t cry, I don’t want to see you crying because of me.” At that moment, Suna ponders for a bit as you see him look at you. You feel yourself freeze as he leans down to plant two kisses on both of your cheeks, an effort to dry your tears. Putting his forehead on yours, his thumbs continuously brush your jawline, as if he was admiring you. “It’s difficult for me to say Y/N, but I love you.”

Your eyes widen.

“I’ve loved you since elementary when you pushed that little boy off the swing after he pushed me off. I’ve loved you since middle school when you would sneakily put chuupets on my desk, even if you thought I didn’t know. You’re beautiful Y/N. And, I’m sorry for not thanking you earlier for everything you’ve done for me. I’m not brave like you, I can’t show the people I love that I care for them.”

“B-But the bento…”

“Of course I ate it. It hurts me to think that I didn’t, I just always asked Atsumu or Osamu to bring it back. You make me nervous Y/N. I can’t confidently walk up to you when you get prettier every time my eyes turn to you.

You make me weak, Y/N.” You huff, sniffling as Suna lands another kiss on the tip of your nose. He smiles and brings you in for another hug, but this time, your arms wrap around him tightly.

It is difficult to love Suna Rintarou.

It was a path fraught with uncertainties and moments of doubt. But as you stood there, holding the rain-soaked figure before you, you knew that the journey was worth it. Because in the depths of his guarded heart, you had found a love that was as powerful as it was fragile, as beautiful as it was challenging. And you were determined to weather the storm, to be the unwavering presence that helped him navigate the complexities of love and vulnerability.

[k4g3hika]

#part 1 !

⟲ (part 2)

☆ gojo is a nerd + class topper (and should i add, your secret bf) x f!reader

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ content: explicit content, vaginal penetration, unprotected sex, name calling, creampie, cunnilingus, blowjob

-this will be divided into a few parts because i wanna keep a story flow instead of writing straight porn (don't blame me i just cannot get a boner without a story line)

Slow winds of incoming rain were making the cherry blossom leaves quiver as a thin gray blanket of clouds started to engulf the once clear blue skies, rest of clouds getting darker by each passing minute but soft chirps of the birds who were making their way back to their nests and chattering of the students who had their free period going on were distracting you.

the big class where the sunlight was slowly seeping out from was way too quiet for you. It was making your nerves irritated.

The day wasn't looking like it was any close to ending, it felt dragged and every fiber in your body was feeling restless, you felt like you were going to go insane, like you would jump up right this instant and start screaming and begging to leave if you heard another "turn to the next page now" from your teacher.

How the hell was it possible?? How is it taking so long for the bell to ring?? Why the hell is nobody complaining?? How is it possible for the teacher to not even pause for a second??

You didn't even bother to show like you cared at this point, you were literally slopped down with your chin rested on the surface of the table as you played with your pink mechanical pencil that had a kuromi cap and scrunched your nose everytime another "turn your page" left the old man's mouth, you ignored him and continued to swing your legs back and forth out of sheer boredom.

The teacher wasn't even going to bother with you at this point,

You are a very average student who manages to pass their classes, but oh lord, class hours were unbearable for you. You hated this, you hated the silence, you hated having to force yourself to listen to the lectures when you're in the brink of passing out, you hated how much your ass and back hurt from all the sitting. You were a loud person, so fcking loud that you would go around befriending students and shamelessly managing to sneak them into parties or influencing them to join you in one, one that was filled with kids who'd throw them when their parents left for vacations, now y'all know what goes down in those parties, in all together, teachers saw you as a really bad influence.

And you are self aware, you know you are a bad influence, but so what? You only live once.

But so worried about your future, the teachers made you sit next to the class topper, the tall guy who was seen out of the class only when school was about to start, lunch break, and when rhe school got over, damn did he have a face that could pull a crowd, not to mention how the shade of his snow colored hair and crystal blue irises definitely made him stand out in middle of a big crowd, not a single part of his uniform will you find out of place, his glasses always sitting clean on the bridge of his nose, he really left the teachers with nothing to complain about,

but oh dear, he looked like a dark cloud to all the other students even with all those features.

It's like he chased away everyone who tried getting close to him, start even a word with him, and he'll make sure that you stop talking after the two lines of 'hi, what's your name? are you free?', at times Gojo would just stand up mid convo if the person still continued to talk after those two lines and walk away with one of his assignments in his hands so he could find himself another peaceful place to complete it, leaving the person feel baffled and humiliated.

So now, nobody even tries to approach him anymore.

However, believing that his good etiquettes would teach you a thing or two the teachers asks for you to be his seatmate thid year, since the session was anyways going to end soon.

But to the teachers surprise, you were so excited to sit with gojo,

you had the most evil grin stretched on your face as you agreed with them with an "oh definitely, ill be the best seat partner he could ever ask for!"

you were so excited to bring the worst out from this quite kid who all the kids believed was a literal sociopath.

You believed that none of these kids had the balls to try hard enough to bring him under the influence! You were so ready to prove that you could make anyone turn up the parties and run them down the wrong road if you wanted!

However,

Gojo never even responded to you.

All those sweet "good morning!~" "mhm you you look really good today Saroru~" (like he didnt look the same everday with his neatly pressed uniform) the way you would bat your eyes and go "i forgot my book, can we share?" just to try pressing your boobs closer to his arms, "i love that! can i have some?!" whenever you watched him pull out a snack,

all unanswered,

he didnt even turn to look at you!

if you called his name, he'll walk away,

and during classes he didnt have any problem being under the influence,

of his fucking textbooks.

You tried to get his attention, tried so hard to the point you had to throw your rubber at his face mid lecture to get his attention, now don't get me wrong, you may be a bad influence but you'd never resort to violence, however, this literal statue in front of you stole your last straw, but that just ended up with gojo fixing his glasses which shifted a bit when you threw the rubber and also the teacher noticing your action and you being kicked out of the class and made to stand outside.

You had to force yourself to not curse and scratch his face when you turned to looked at the gojo's face just to see him look back at you with a calm poker face like you didn't just try to hit him, but now not only was gojo looking at you but all the other students were also looking as you stormed out of the class annoyed.

Now its been seven months since.. and nobody could have guessed that you two would be secretly sneaking around and seeing each other by now?! Hell even you couldn't have guessed so for yourself! you had no idea that this whole time you would fall prey!

Satoru showed you things that none of those never ending parties or flirty jerks and their flings could've showed you or made you feel, all those things he showed you made you so attached that you were obsessed with him at this point! You refused to take him to the parties because there was no way you wanted anybody else to see this side of Satoru that only you knew about!

After weeks of getting ignored by your seat partner, you had been blessed by the heavens. Your teachers paired you and satoru for the biology group project! and while you were busy celebrating in your head and fighting a huge victory smile, you were taken by surprise because that was the first time that you actually saw Gojo genuinely pissed, you swore you heard a really really quite mutter of "fucking geezer" leave his lips which made you snap your head at him to find him still looking down at his books still but now his eyebrows were twitching like he wanted to knit them together so bad.

he looked like a robot who was so close to breaking his character.

Then the day finally came when you got to go to Gojo's place,

But that wasnt how you expected to feel when you left his place,

You refused to let anyone know what happened the night when you went to satoru's place for your 'biology project' in which your main plan was to convince him to show up at the bigass party that Choso was throwing as per usual, you even made a bet with him that if you were able to make Gojo turn up to the party he'll have to pay you thirty dollars.

Thank god gojo's parents weren't home or you might have not really had the best impression in front of them, but not even trying to physically pull satoru with you was working.

You barely managed to pull him with all your strength till his doorframe when suddenly, finally being so done with you he so nonchalantly picked you up from your feet and tossed you to his bed instead causing his neat sheets to crumble under your sudden weight which felt illegal cosidering how neat his room looked like he hasn't even been living in it up until now.

You were really baffled by his sudden action as he just calmly stared at you, you knew he could've yelled at you or some out of annoyance, but not literally pick you up and throw you on his bed.

You didnt even try to get up immediately from his bed from how surprised you were, so he started taking slow strides towards you without muttering a word until he so casually got on top of you and said "y/n, did you really invite yourself here to my place to study about the frog's discectomy procedure?" he cocked his brow at you, you could smell his minty breathe just inches away hitting your face, your small frame squirmed a bit under his caged arms, and you have no idea what took over your body, its like you were a total different person suddenly, hell, its like he was a total different person now, its like you both were suddenly completely opposite of who you usually are. you had no clue what to answer. The only thing you could force out was a stutter of

"Y-yes?"

and your answer was followed by a silence.

He just stared at you without a word, his icy blue eyes making you feel smaller and smaller under his gaze. you had no idea where all the strength in your body left.

and after a minute or two you felt a shiver run all the way down your spine when with your big doe eyes you watched his lips curve up in a really evil grin, almost like he was mocking you as he replies in a very low voice that made your loudly beating heart slowly become a puddle,

"i really hate liars y/n."

And god were you prepared anything else but how that night was going to end.

Not only did gojo not turn up to the party, but you didn't show up either to everyone's surprise.

your phone rang for the 10th time.

Several missed calls piling up in your contact from god knows who at this point

Choso:

"Are you really not even gonna bother to answer us at this point??"

-7:30 pm

Choso:

"Are you still at satoru's place?? pick up the call for once at least?? if you want the thirty dollars that bad, I'll just give them at this point no need to spend the whole night convincing that dude!"

-7:45pm

Shoko:

"Girl, dont tell me you are actually doing your biology project rn 😟"

-7:50

"fuck, your side chicks talks a lot" satoru groans as he tosses your phone away at the sofa and looks down, his annoyed expression soon fading into a sly one as a smirk forms on his face at the utter mess he has made you.

you sit on your knees between his thick bare thighs which were parted open as he laid back on his clean white sofa, your own thighs rubbing against eachother to create some sort of friction between your legs, your insides burning at this point from how badly you wanted his attention.

your brows were knitted and eyes glossy with tears running down your puffed cheeks as you try to take in satoru's thick heavy cock in your mouth as much as you could. drool spilling out from the corners of your lips as your try so hard but your jaw hurt so much and it was becoming impossible for you to take his big cock any further than you already did which was just some halfway past his leaky meaty tip. your small hands squishing his heavy cum filled balls

with his glasses that were lying somewhere in the corner of the bedroom by now his crystal clear bedroom eyes watched you calmly, as his buff bare chest glistened under the golden dim lights everytime he slowly heaved, the roots of his hair soaked in sweat so he ran through the locks of his hair to tossle them back.

Something posessed you to never remove your eyes from his face, maybe its cause a part of you always knew that satoru could give so much more than what he usually gave, and now you were finally getting it, a lot more than you even asked for.

he softly smiles as he runs his thumb, caressing your puffy cheeks and then slowly combing back the strands of your hair that was falling down your face.

he asks

"Say my cute horny little pot, wanna stop this and go to the party of yours?" he sly smile stretches further, already knowing your answers.

he knew you were under his influence, he knew the control he hadover you right now.

From combing your hair back he trails his hand up and grabs a lock of your hair, pulling your head back and pulling his cock out of your mouth.

he cautiously watches you and as you begin to quickly shake your head,

"What do you wanna do y/n?" he playfully asks.

And you didn't even hesitate,

"wanna stay with you, satoru.." You whine as he grins before immediately standing up and pulling you with him and swinging you up in his big arms,

you gasp and wrap your arms around his neck, your legs immdiately wrapping around his hips as and he turns to push your back against the cold white walls of his room, making you arch your back.

He brings his face close and cranes his neck down to stick his tongue out, flattening his tongue against your sweaty collar bone and then swiftly licking up to your neck causing you to throw your head back, you let out a shaky moan as he flicks his tongue all the way up to under your chin.

pushing your back up and harder against the clean white walls of his bedroom, his lips linger near your lips. Your eyebrows knitting further as you feel the hot tip of his cock kiss the entrance of your folds. but he doesnt move any further.

Closely starring at your expression as you mumble out a "i-im on pills".

That causes him to let lout a low breathy chuckle as he runs his hand up to slowly massage your plump soft breast in his hands like he was enjoying every second of you in desperation.

You start kicking your feet "Satoru just slam your cock in me im fucking b–"

You whine when he slams his rough lips against your soft and glossy ones to shut you up causing your heart to beat loud, warmth starting to engulff you starting from your toes up to your thighs and so on, smearing your gloss over his and your face as you both messily biting and pulling, savouring the taste of eachothers mouth, gasping in his mouth when you feel the tip being shoved past your wet core, your sticky liquid sliding down his length, your nails digging into his broad sweaty pale back.

Your hips start to tremble as your eyes snap open when you start to actually realize how fucking big he really was when his thick sticky girth starts plunging up his drooling cunt, stretching your soft tight warm caves which immediately embraced his heat in desperation after yearning for it for so long now. He continues pushing his junk further up in you you as you heard him lowly mutter incoherent words under his breathe while having his face burried in your neck.

Tears start seeping out of your eyes and toes curling. He slowly lifts his head up, watching every shift of your expression while biting down on his bottom lips hard as he watches you whimper and jut your bottom lips out

He inhales and leans in licking your bottom lip, which unintentionally causes you to part your lips, and he doesn't say anything. He just quietly leans in, pushing his hot tongue into your warm mouth, tip of your noses softly grazing against one another as you feel him softly smile against your lips when the ridges of your gummy wall start to lure him further up inside you

You would've never thought you would receive the best dick of your experience from the nerdy class topper.

You felt like this was your first time all over again. It felt like you were being suffocated by the gates of heaven as your eyes started to roll back. Senses so intoxicated by the heavy smell of sweat, warm breathings, and his fresh grapefruit and minty scent which was becoming heavy the more sweaty your connected bodies got,

Satoru's scent was burning shivers to every ending of your nerves that day.

He threw you both onto the duvets where he rutted shamelessly in you like an aggressive dog in heat, your teeth gritted as you cried and tried breaking the kiss trying to catch your breathe but he didnt even give you two seonds before holding your jaw and forcing your head to turn and lock his lips with yours yet again.

"Toru-!" You mispell his wrong at this point from how cock drunk you were, "D- Deeper! Shove it all in, wanna stay wrapped around your thick cock so bad"

He squirts hard in you, unloading every drop of his thick, heavy cream into your small warm pot,

leaning to the side now he is still snoggling inside your welcoming heat right after as you held onto him with desperation and he ran his fingers through the locks of your hair, licking your lips and harshly pecking your jaw as his hands trailed down to rub and harshly pinch your clit causing your hips to jolt.

"Satoru! h-hurts!" you cry and he starts to wordlessly massage your crotch, and although the rough texture of his palm felt kind of painful against your skin it was enough for your hole to gape and a slow long push of his cock which causes you to come hard with his cock still pressed deep in, but your inside were so full now that the liquid ran down your butt and started to wet his clean sheets.

You whimpered as your hips shook, and you continued to release some more, further wetting his sheets.

Slowly parting your eyes, you find his crystal covered hooded irises looking at you tiredly.

"S-sorry" you mindlessly apologized for messing his sheets, you felt your heart being engulfed by something warm as you stared longer into his tired eyes, not a single words leaving his plush red lips from the amount of times he sucked and kissed your skin and lips, and before you could say anything else he sit up and pulls out making you think it was over,

But before you could make yourself sit up, he gropes both your thick thighs and harshly pushes your legs open, making you yelp he watches as your hole leaks out the mixed juices of yours and his. And he couldnt help the feeling that took over him that moment, you squirm from pure embrassment and heat consuming your cheeks from the sudden shy person he has turned you into as you tried to close your legs when he was lost in his own thoughts while he stared at your cunt clenching around nothing but slowly leaking everything that you both just did. The desperate need that crawled up his head to give into his intrusive thoughts, and he finally gave in,

just as you finally managed to let out a

"sa-satoru- its dirty d-dont look-" a moan ripped past your throat,

he shoved his face into your gaping cunt.

you cried loud immediately pushing your hands to cover your mouth as he swirled his tongue and dipped it in your cream filled hole, lapping all the juices, he was cleaning you up at this point.

He grinned against your wet lips as he lowly mumbles "look at the all the juices you were holding slut, is it from before or you are still coming as we speak?"

You swore satoru barely talked through your whole session, making you think if he was regretting it while doing it, but whenever he opened his mouth, the filthiest words left his lips.

your thighs wrap around his head, and you should be afraid to suffocating him, but your walls were throbbing so hard you were too focused, the way you were litrally trembling.

he continued to eat you out like you were a doughtnut that he himself prepared. Was he wrong, tho?

crying and shaking your head in utter bliss as your eyes dialated when he holds your thighs with his left hand, and his other one runs up to grope one of your boob, pinching your painfully swollen buds and massaging them as he continued eating the shit out of your hole like he has been starving the entire day and this was his first meal of the day, he looked so busy and lost, like he was savoring every inch of the your wall that he dirtied himself

eating you out clean and licking your clit after you came once again he finally pulls himself up to look at you,

you look at his face that was now flushed, roots of his hair sweaty and disheveled,

unconsciously you run your hand up his cheek which felt so warm under your touch,

you slowly sit up pushing him on the back on the bed, and you have no idea if he was way too tired to do anything, but he doesn't stop you.

You slowly let your weight down on his chest as you look into his eyes that looked a little lost,

a little innocent smile forms on your face as he waits for you to speak, You finally ask,

"your bulge is really hard and i believe that its trying to get my attention, mind if i suck your balls?" you bat your eyes,

and for the first time you see him break into a genuine laughter although it was a soft one as he throws his head aside and tries to act like you never said that to him

you wanted to laugh with him but you were way too focused on how his eyes crinkled and the contrast of his flushed pink cheeks on his pale skin made it look like he was blushing, soft strands of his snow painted hair covering parts of his eyes as you feel his chest shake while laughing at what you just said,

"you really are shameless" he pokes at you, smile still on his face as he finally stares back at you, you felt this wild urgency to hold him and and not let him go again,

"or we can makeout till you fall asleep" he nonchalasntly suggest,

you furrow your eyes

"but your paren-"

he cuts you off.

"They only come back home during the end of the months"

you raise your brows at that,

"You told me that we had to finish the project early because your parents would be back home soon and won't want any 'noisy' guest?"

he shrugs

you gasp

"You were so desperate to kick me out back then!"

his reply to that was pulling you back against his chest and engulfing his lips with yours while slowly caressing your head, and you melted so damn fast.

then a lot of things happened since, things escalated, after lot of drama between you both you finally had enough and just ended up asking him to go out with you,

and satoru froze,

he turned his face a bit to glance at you, his brows knitted with pure annoyance in his face,

i mean, who wont,

you both were in the middle of your fucking midterm exams filling up your answer scripts and satoru was trying really fucking hard to remember the words that he was chanting like a mantra to memories last night and the foggy words were this close to reappearing in his head when you suddenly ask him out.

satoru swore you had a habit of pulling the most random shit in the middle of something important everytime,

should've thanked god he didnt bury you that day for what you did, but atleast he took you in that offer and he ended up fucking the life out of you in the janitors room. You forced him to carry you back home all the way on his back that day. It was alright since nobody was around.

You doubt you will ever regret ditching Choso's party that day for Gojo.

You quitely giggle to yourself as you remember all the events that led you two to be together rn, but you get pulled out of your thought by the low

"What's making you giggle like a seal suddenly"

Your head snaps up to look at your boyfriend who was quitely gathering his stuffs now, his glasses resting down on the bridge of his nose and his eyes focused on the table to make sure he was packing everything and not forgetting anything. You didn't even notice that the class got over.

A big grins forms on your face as you push yourself close to him and whisper

"toru~"

He looks unfazed as he continues to do what he was doing, his posture still straight and way better than yours even after all the hours of classes.

"my pretty boyfie" you giggle causing him to scrunch his nose before finally looking at you and saying "i have to talk about some things with our chemistry teacher, you should head to the physics class without me"

you immediately whine, "ill come along with you!" as the class goes empty leaving only you two behind

"no can do you will be whining to leave, plus the teachers will be weirded out seeing us together there."

That causes something to shift in your heart, feeling something falter as you just give up and huff in annoyance,

"Whatever!" You stand up immediately, and satoru notices how your already ever so mini skirt was folded even further up due to the way you were just sitting, and he pulls your arms, making you halt. He pulls the folded piece of your skirt down, fixing it.

you carefully watch him before folding your arms at him annoyed,

he notices your expression and innocently asks "what?"

"ugh i feel like a fucking wall that follows you around, whenever we are in school!"

he raises a brow,

"why?"

you huff,

"well maybe talk to me more idk?"

he pats your head at that, "we can talk anytime doesnt have to be everytime during school hours, ill send you the notes i took just now when we get back home so go through them later"

that makes you further annoyed.

"What makes you think i dont take those notes as well!" You voice,

He laughs, "babe you were in the brink of sleeping and barely tried sitting up."

You almost melted when he called you that but pulling yourself together

before he could say anything further you push his hand away and pull your stuff away angrily trying to not scream when some of your so many dangling keychains on your bag almost gets stuck between the chair and satoru tries helping you but you told him to get away,

You walked away immediately, leaving him alone in the class, taken aback as you walked, letting your long, freshly blonde dyed flow and walking with you hips swinging side by side as per usual.

When you made it halfway through the hallway you admitted that you were being dramatic and petty asf out of nowhere, you were aware, this was so not you who never bothered much with any guy, but satoru made you question at times if he was actually genuine about liking you.

What if he was just keeping you to blow his stress before continuing with his whatever class duties. But you felt bad for acting how you just did when he was just trying to help you, you wanted to cuss and kick your legs, oh god satoru had a fcking hold on you, you knew that so well.

He can make you so fucking insecure at times out of nowhere, most of the time it was just you overthinking tho, you knew that. You had no idea why him out of every other guy you've met was making you feel this way, You swore your periods were close, and you were feeling extra moody than usual today.

When you sat down for the physics class you shifted to sit in the front desk to actually take notes this time since satoru wouldn't be here for a while like he mentioned earlier.

The physics teacher was surprised to see you willingly take that seat, and made a note to tell your class teacher that it seems like the class topper was, in fact, having a good influence on you.

Time ran by fast this time for some reason,

The class was almost ending in 5 minutes and satoru was nowhere to be seen,

you were fidgeting your fingers in fear, regretting the way you behaved with him before the class.

your head was literally fighting demons at this point, overthinking eating you alive.

was he mad at you?? is that why he didn't even show up because he is that bad?? no way, you tried to throw that thought because no matter what a petty interaction like that would be gojo satoru's last reason to not show up!

or you were trying to gaslight yourself by thinking that, and he actually didn't wanna be near you.

your palms felt sweaty, what if he asks you to break up over something like this?? you wanted to see satoru right this instant for the love of god. you wanted him to hold you and say that its okay.

your palms were getting sweaty and feet cold but you continued to take the notes, maybe if he tried breaking up with you you can say that you have changed and are a good girlfriend taking notes for him??

your head was just noisy and wouldnt catch a break until you meet satoru.

class ended, satoru didnt show up.

You were running through the damn halls, not caring that if you ran faster your high pumps might break and you might twist your ankles along with it.

"where the hell is satoru?" you cussed as you irritatingly ran through the whole school, you finally paused for a second to catch your breathe.

you immediately pulled out your pocket mirror and saw how sweaty your forehead was and how much all the wind from running messed your hair up.

cussing yet again you pulled out your pink gloss and started to deligently apply it to cover your dry ass pale lips, if satoru was gonna break up with you looking like a mess was the last the last thing you wanted at that moment. You wish if he was gonna break up he might atleast feel a bit of regret!

Choso notices you in the hallway and immediately approaches you,

"y/n! did you hear Geto is throwing a pool party -"

you cut him off,

"Shut up, not now." You shove the mirror and gloss back in your faux fur covered bag and start your run again.

you swore your back hurt from all the running, the way your boobs were bouncing along your run didnt help at all.

you finally paused, You see the figure of your boyfriend near the staff room.

You almost make a run to him but you pause, not able to make a step further.

In the quite hallways that was illuminated with the evening sunlight your boyrfriend's long snowy hair shined as he held his preetiest grin out there for the world to see, any naked eyes that could see the view right now would instantly fall in love with the being. You thanked god the halls were empty,

but he wasnt alone.

Utahime, the class president was besides him.

They were in some deep conversation, not noticing any other presence in the hallway,

i mean, you were standing pretty far away for them to even notice you from their view.

your heart clenched, and you felt a sting in your chest as you stared at them. Interact, he was laughing and saying something to her who leaned so close to him and whispered something, causing him to laugh further. You have seen those laughter when you both were alone. You know that laughter is genuine.

and it crashes you at that moment. Maybe you were insecure because gojo wasn't like any of those lifeless douchebags you dated up until you and him happened. You bacame as lifeless as them along the way and forgot you need some actual priorities in life. That this momentary fun you were enjoying so much wouldn't last that long to guarantee you a ground to stand in the future.

There were so many girls aside from you who had their shit pulled together. Someone like gojo could easily get any of them if he wanted. Satoru was the stability you always needed in your life and now that you got a taste of it you were afraid you will fall back into your messy lifestyle if he ever decides that he is tired of your bullshit and walks to find someone way better than you, a girl with actual priorities who isnt a whole mess. Maybe that's why you were so eager to hold onto him, knowing he was the only actual and stable person you have in your life right now. He could do so much better, and you weren't that better.

- end of pt.1 ! -

[k4g3hika]

"i wanna Be Cool, but only if you want me to."

"want to impress you"

synopsis// everyone knows that basketball is the way to someone's heart.

pairing// satoru gojo x gn!reader

word count// 3.8k

contents// college au, basketball au, mutual unknown pining?, friends to lovers?, gojo is a loser, obligatory this is for you and misses

notes// lu wanted a basketball au so lu gets a basketball au. also obviously inspired by the basketball scene in jjk s2 anywho this is just kinda short n goofy :p also inspired by the song i wanna be cool by super whatevr. also i have no idea how basketball works and only ever played for fun so ermmm if anything is wrong bring that up with the universe !

Shoko unwillingly finds herself sitting on a random bench in the boys locker room, her arms crossed as she glares at the two boys in front of her.

“Why did you guys drag me in here?”

Geto speaks up first: “In my defense, this is all on Satoru, and I have no part in this.”

“You still dragged me in here, did you not?”

“…Yes.” 

“Then you took part in it.”

Gojo smiles as he smacks Geto on the back. “Exactly! You’re my accomplice.”

Shoko rolls her eyes. “Again, why did you guys drag me in here?”

“A presentation!”

“A presentation I have nothing to do with,” Geto chimes in as he takes a seat beside Shoko.

She briefly raises her eyebrow at Geto before directing it toward Gojo. “A presentation?” 

“Yes!” 

“I don’t see a projector or anything worth presenting here,” she says, looking around the room unamused.

“A presentation minus the actual presenting part...”

“So you dragged me in here just to talk to me?”

Geto leans in and whispers, “He actually wants to ask you something.”

Gojo stomps his foot like he’s about to throw a tantrum. “Geto shut up!”

“Can you just hurry up, Gojo?" She asks impatiently. “It reeks of axe body spray in here; I think it might actually kill me.”

He ignores her dramatics because, honestly, she’s not wrong. “You're coming to our game tonight, right?”

“I mean, yeah? Who isn't? It's the biggest game of the season.”

Geto adds, “That's what I said!”

“Do you know if Y/N is going?”

“Is that what you seriously dragged me in here for? Why didn't you just ask Y/N themself? You guys are friends, are you not?”

“Well yeah!” Gojo mumbles sheepishly, “But when I asked, they said maybe...”

“That means no,” Geto says quickly through a cough, as if trying to cover it up.

Gojo hears anyway and outstretches his arms toward Geto as if trying to draw attention toward him. “Exactly!” He then brings his hands in front of his face in a praying motion and begs, “Shoko, please!”

“Oh my fucking god, I don't know why you don't just ask them out already.”

“That's what I'm trying to do! But in order to do that, I kinda need them to go to tonight's game.”

Shoko glares at Gojo for what feels like forever, and Gojo glares back like they’ve suddenly entered a staring contest, and it’s Shoko who breaks eye contact first.

She sighs and pushes the hair out of her face as she mumbles, “God, you're lucky I'm tired of both of you pining after each other.”

“Thank you, Shoko!” he beams. “Also here.”

Shoko takes whatever Gojo is handing her and holds it up, her eyes slightly wide as she inspects it. “…Is this your jersey?”

He nods, fully confident within himself now that Shoko has agreed to drag you to the game, but tilts his head at her because he has no idea why she’s confused. “Yeah, I want them to wear it?” 

“You make me sick to my stomach, fine.”

“Shoko, do you wanna wear my jersey?” Geto suddenly asks.

She stares at him blankly, as if to ask if he really asked her that, knowing damn well she does not like him like that and she has a girlfriend, though after a few moments he finally gets the hint.

“Oh my god, not like that; I just want someone supporting me too.”

She sighs in relief, “Oh, thank god, don’t scare me like that, but yeah, fine, I’ll wear it.”

“Wait, what the hell?” Gojo exclaims, drawing Shoko’s and Geto’s attention back to him. “Shoko, would you have worn mine if I asked?”

“No.”

“What?! Why the hell not?”

“I like Geto more than I like you.”

He glares at her and quickly points out, “You're lying; if that was true, you wouldn't be helping me!”

Shoko simply shrugs and mumbles a small “bye” before getting up and leaving.

Geto stands up and takes his place next to Gojo, softly patting his back as he whispers, “Dare I say this ends our lifelong debate on who's superior?”

Gojo shrugs his hand off of him and speaks harshly through clenched teeth, “Shut. Your. Mouth.”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

“Why would I want to go watch a bunch of sweaty men fight over balls?” You mumble offhandedly, focusing your attention on netflix playing on your phone rather than on her.

“Ok, Y/N, first of all, there's only one ball, and second of all, did you forget Gojo is on the basketball team?”

You quickly turn off your phone and sit up, clasping your hands together in your lap. “….Have I ever mentioned that basketball is actually my favorite sport?”

“Jesus Christ,” she mutters under her breath, pinching her nose bridge. “You're so obvious; why haven't you told him yet?”

“Are you insane? Gojo is hot, and on the basketball team, do you know how many people he already has crushing on him? I'm literally just another name on that list.”

“Sure,” she nods, “But the difference is that you're his friend too; you have more of a chance than anyone else.”

You sigh and frown at her. “Doubt.”

Shoko shakes her head, knowing that you two could spend all day here in your dorm debating whether you have a chance or not, but that’s not what she’s here for, so she’ll let you believe what you want, knowing that (hopefully) Gojo pulling whatever it is he wants to pull will prove you wrong.

“Whatever, put this on,” she says, throwing the jersey at you.

You catch it, your mouth slightly agape as you stare at it curiously. “…Isn't this?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know, is it?”

“Shoko.”

“Can you just trust me?”

“I'm literally just gonna look like another one of his groupies," you say, disdain and disappointment lacing your words as your eyes dart back and forth between her and the jersey.

She smiles, and it’s off-putting because it’s not her normal smile; no, you know, this is the smile she only wears when she’s about to drop a bomb on you. “Difference is that that's his actual jersey.”

You freeze.

“What?”

“I’ll save you a seat. Bye,” she says as she walks out of your dorm.

The slam of your door restarts your heart, and suddenly it and your mind are racing at 100 miles per hour, and the only thing you can do is word vomit despite the fact that Shoko is gone.

“What do you mean by that?! What do you mean this is his actual jersey?!” You run and fling open your door to yell out into the hallway, “Get back here!?” 

Shoko is a good bit away at this point, but she still hears you call out for her and acknowledges that with a wave, yet she still keeps walking away, and you're stuck in your doorway with your chest heaving. You look back down at the jersey in your hands.

Holy shit.

Not only is this a jersey with Gojo’s number on it, but it’s his jersey. How did Shoko even get this? Did she just take it without him knowing? Too many thoughts are in your head, but there’s only one that keeps overlapping the others, there’s only one that’s consistent, only one that electrifies every neuron in your body:

Holy shit, this is Gojo’s jersey.

Fuck the questions and fuck the answers you know you won’t get; the only thing that matters to you right now is that you have and are about to wear Gojo’s jersey. You have to be dreaming; really, that’s the only logical answer, but holy fuck, if you’re dreaming, you do not plan on waking up anytime soon—or ever.

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

The two teams quickly start filling up the court and taking up their respective spaces as they warm up, but Gojo, being Gojo, isn't doing that. Instead, he’s standing on the sidelines, looking in at the crowd of people starting to take their seats for the game, and his heart is racing as he searches the crowd for you, and it drops when he inevitably doesn’t find you, but he’s not discouraged, not yet at least, because the game hasn’t officially even started yet, so there’s still time for you to show up.

There’s still time.

He has to keep reminding himself that the whole time he’s warming up—now that he’s actually being forced to, though it’s a half-assed warm-up—he and his coach don’t even know whether what he’s doing could be considered a warm-up in the first place. The game is about to start any second now when Geto approaches Gojo.

“Nothing?” 

Gojo’s head drops as he reluctantly shakes it.

Geto hums and searches the stands for you, but when he doesn't find you either, he tries to find the next best person, Shoko, and it's quite easy to find her considering she’s wearing Geto's jersey.

“Shoko!”

She looks down from the bleachers and sees Geto staring at her as he gestures toward Gojo, and she knows he's trying to ask where you are, but in all honesty, she has no idea either. She shrugs, and even from as high up as she is, she can hear Geto groan before grabbing Gojo by the shoulders and forcing him to look at him.

“I'm sure they’ll come, dude.”

Gojo blankly stares at Geto, an eyebrow raised skeptically, as if to say, really? but before he can verbally reply, their coach comes over and removes Geto’s hand from Gojo’s shoulder to place his own hand there.

“I don't know what's going on with you, but whatever it is, fix it.”

Geto and Gojo tense up at his tone, full of nothing but pure determination. This isn't him asking; this is him demanding that Gojo get his shit together.

“This is the biggest game yet, and I'm not gonna let you and some petty college drama get in the way of that. You're our best player. Act like it.”

Gojo can only nod. His mouth suddenly feels dry, and it's like his throat is closing, but he tries to will the feeling away. Though his reaction is enough for his coach, who starts walking off.

Geto stares up at Gojo with his eyebrows knit, concern lacing his voice, “Gojo...”

Gojo shakes his head and takes a deep breath before flashing Geto his signature smile. “I'm fine, Geto; cmon, we got a basketball game to win.”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

To be totally honest, the reason you were running so late to the game was because you were mentally shitting your pants the entire time you were getting ready. For a good chunk of time, you just sat on your bed with the jersey laid out in front of you, staring at it. Just staring at it, that's all. Because yes, even though you said fuck the questions and fuck the answers, you very much could not do that, not when too many questions and unknown answers were flooding your brain like a dam had cracked. You think you probably would've stayed like that all day and night, missing the game entirely, if not for Shoko spam calling your phone.

“What?”

“Don't 'what' me, where the fuck are you?” She snaps through the phone.

“Uh, getting ready?”

“Y/N, the game started twenty minutes ago.”

“Oh shit,” you say, hopping off your bed and quickly grabbing the jersey.

“Yeah, oh shit! Get your ass down here!”

You don't bother saying goodbye; instead, you quickly hang up, throw the jersey on as fast as you can, and bolt out the door. The halls are empty as you race through them, and you're not surprised; everyone is already at the game—everyone but you—and you speed up your pace just a smidge more. God, you're an idiot, missing the best game of the season—okay, you don't actually care about that. God, you're an idiot, missing seeing Gojo and maybe getting answers on how Shoko obtained his jersey—that's better.

You get to the gym in record time, slightly surprised at how quickly you got there, but you ignore that as you try to catch your breath before walking in and try to prepare yourself for the amount of noise that will assault your ears when you do. You can already hear how loud it is; the walls not doing very much at all to muffle the yells of people. You walk in and wince slightly at the noise as you look around for Shoko. She immediately finds you and waves her hand in the air for you to find, as does Utahime, who's sitting next to her. You smile and quickly make your way toward them, apologizing to the people you pushed through to get to them in the first place. You take your seat next to Shoko with a sigh.

“What did I miss?” you ask, leaning forward slightly just so you can look at both Utahime and Shoko.

Utahime has a small grimace on her face, and Shoko merely motions toward the scoreboard, and the minute you look, your jaw drops. Gojo’s team was losing. No. Losing isn't even the right word here; they were getting absolutely destroyed. They had zero points—none at all. You look back toward the two girls in disbelief.

“What the fuck?”

“Gojo is literally sucking so much ass that it's throwing everyone else off,” Utahime says with a shrug before glancing down at your clothes. “Are you wearing his jersey?”

You clear your throat awkwardly and look away, ignoring the smirk on Shoko's face.

“So, uh, do we know why Gojo’s sucking ass?” You ask after a brief moment of silence.

“Nope,” Utahime responds with a shake of her head.

“I do,” Shoko says nonchalantly.

Your head snaps back toward her. “What? Why?”

“Yeah, you didn't tell me either!”

Shoko rolls her eyes and ignores both of you as she loudly calls out to Gojo, who, by some grace of god, hears her over the hundreds of other people yelling for him. Gojo’s eyes immediately find hers, and he watches how she subtly jerks her head to the side, and like some angel descended from the heavens, like a god showing itself in a moment of dire, he looks and finds you sitting there in his jersey, and he can't help the smile on his face, can't help how just your presence lit a fire underneath him, can't help how just seeing you gave him his pep back in his step.

Gojo finds Geto’s eyes on the court and nods determinedly. They are winning this game, whether it's the last thing Gojo does. He's not going to look like a fool in front of you. So that's exactly what Gojo does. Once the second period starts, Gojo steals back the ball with a new sudden ease, and by halftime, he’s gotten the team caught up to the other one, starting the third period with a tie.

“How the hell did he do that? I thought you guys said he sucked!”

“Aw man, I was rooting for the other team,” Utahime says, frowning, and you have to resist the urge to chew her out in defense of Gojo.

Shoko shrugs. “He was till you know…”

You stare at her blankly. “No, I don't know, actually. Care to enlighten me?”

“No, I do not,” she says before turning to Utahime. “And don't worry, they're only tied; there's still a chance the other team will win.”

Utahime cheerfully hums as she rests her head on Shoko’s shoulder. “You’re right!”

“Don't encourage her to root for the other team?!” 

Utahime sticks her tongue out at you, and before any of you can say anything else, a loud buzzer rings across the gym, indicating a point was made, and to your delight, it was for Gojo’s team. For the rest of the third period, it was just buzzer after buzzer as Gojo’s team took back their rightful place on the scoreboard, completely smashing the other team into the ground, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of pride swell in your chest. Watching Gojo in his element was doing detrimental things to your crush on him, only making it worse, but you can't even seem to care. Shoko looks over to you and laughs.

“I can practically see the hearts in your eyes.”

You scoff. “Shut up!”

Down on the court, they had just started their last two-minute break between third and fourth period, with the coaches gathering their respective teams into a huddle.

“Alright guys,” Gojo’s coach began, “Keep your heads in the game; we’re taking this victory home, got it?”

All the boys nod hurriedly, and the coach leaves them to do what they need to before the last period starts, but Gojo doesn’t let them get far.

“Whatever fucking happens, I'm getting that last score, got it?”

Everyone on the team exchanges uneasy glances, and Geto rolls his eyes and sighs before apologizing for Gojo.

“He just has a plan and wants to do something, guys.”

The boys nodded, seemingly satisfied with that answer.

“If you guys mess this up for me, I swear to god, I will make you wish you were never born,” Gojo says with his usual smile, but in this case, all his smile does is make him seem feral.

Geto slaps Gojo across the back of his head and huffs, “He doesn’t mean that, don't worry.”

“Oh, I fucking mean it.”

“Gojo, shut the fuck up.”

Before anyone else can say anything, the timer goes off, and into the last minutes of the game they go. As the game goes on, everyone is on the edge of their seat, even if deep down they know who will win. You and Utahime are no exception to this, but apparently Shoko is.

“Why the fuck are you guys on the edge of your seats? It's obvious we’re gonna win.”

You go to glare at her but can’t even hold your stare long enough because you're so enthralled by the game. “Still, it's so nervewracking!”

Utahime laughs. “I'm only on the edge of my seat because I want the other team to win.”

“Why are you such a hater, dude?” you ask defensively.

Utahime doesn’t mind; she knows all too well about your little crush on Gojo, so she doesn’t take offense to your tone. “When it comes to Gojo, I'm always a hater.”

You finally find it in you to glare at her. “I hope Shoko breaks up with you.”

She rolls her eyes and glares back. “Oh, haha, you're so mature.”

You say nothing but stick your tongue out at her childishly, and she does the same, to which Shoko groans and rolls her eyes before grabbing both of your heads and turning them to face the game.

“You can fight after the game; there's only a few seconds left.”

Gojo glances at the time and realizes it’s now or never. He finds that Geto has the ball and calls out for him. Geto, on the other hand, hesitates to pass him the ball, with a look on his face asking if he really wants to do this, and Gojo can only nod. How could he not want to do this? This is the only thing he can do; it's not like he knows how to ask someone out the normal way, so this will do; it has to. Gojo tries to control his breathing as he makes his way to the hoop, the ball dribbling in tune with his heartbeat, and nothing matters to him in that moment except you and scoring—his surroundings completely drowning out. Everyone holds their breath waiting for him to shoot, and right before he does, his eyes lock onto yours.

“This is for you, Y/N!” He yells out as he shoots, and…

And he misses.

Horribly.

And there's no chance for him to redeem himself because the minute the ball hits the ground, the buzzer goes off, indicating the end of the game, and everyone seemingly ignores whatever the fuck he just did and erupts into an uproar at the fact that they won regardless of Gojo’s miss.

“What-“

Shoko slaps a hand over her mouth, attempting and failing to hold in her laughter. “Did he just fucking miss?”

Utahime is hunched over, her head between her knees, laughing. “Oh my fucking god, he's an idiot!”

You blink, not moving, not saying anything, but with how hard Shoko is laughing and Utahime leaning against her as she laughs as well, Shoko ends up bumping into you, and she instantly grows quiet, her head snapping toward you.

“Oh, why are you still here?”

“Huh?” 

"Why aren’t you down there?” she asks, pointing down to the court.

“Am… Am I supposed to be?”

“Uh duh!” Utahime speaks up, peeking out from behind Shoko. “He made that shot for you! Well, he missed that shot for you.”

“Oh,” you say blankly. “Oh. Oh shit.”

You stood up abruptly, and with how fast you went down the bleachers, you almost tripped once you made it onto the ground. You quickly catch yourself, and the moment you look up to find Gojo, he’s already standing right in front of you.

“You're-you're wearing my jersey,” he says breathlessly, but not in a I-can’t-breathe way, more in a holy-shit-my-crush-is-actually-wearing-my-jersey way.

You swallow thickly and nod. Your gaze flickers down to the jersey before going back to his face. “I am.” 

“You are.” 

“What was that Gojo?”

He seems to grimace at your question. “Ah, well, you see, I was actually gonna say if I make this, you owe me a date, but that’s a really long sentence to shout, and what if I didn’t make it? That would’ve been so embarrassing.”

You laugh under your breath. “Gojo, you didn’t make it regardless.”

He frowns. “Don’t remind me.”

You smile and push a strand of hair stuck to his forehead out of the way, watching how he blushes furiously at your touch, and it makes your heart swoon. Who knew the confident number-one basketball player could crumble so readily under your touch?

“You know, I’m still more than happy to owe you a date.”

He smirks as he pulls you closer toward him by your waist and coos, “Yeah?"

“Yeah… But get the hell off of me, Gojo; you’re sweaty and you stink,” you grumble as you push against his chest, trying to free yourself.

Gojo ignores you and pulls you in closer (if even possible), his body engulfing yours as he rubs his face against yours, making sure his sweat rubs off on you too.

You struggle against his hold. “Gojo gross!” 

“Sorry, I can't hear you over the people. What are you saying? Hug you closer?”

“Gojo, don’t you dare.”

You hear him chuckle before rubbing up against you again, and you groan but stop resisting, which he hums happily at before starting to pull away. You watch how his face abruptly twists into feigned disgust.

"Ew, Y/N, get the hell off of me; you’re sweaty and you stink,” he mocks as he pushes you out of his hold.

“I hate you.”

“If you hated me, you wouldn’t be going on a date with me,” he singsongily says.

“Yeah, not anymore,” you mumble with a wry smile as you start walking away.

“Hey, wait, Y/N, come back!”

©TODAYISAWTHEWHXLEWXRLD

[k4g3hika]

CONSUME ━ imagine!

suna rintarou x fem!reader

summary: suna rintarou was hard to love, you knew this from the beginning. but when you overhear him admitting how he truly felt about you, it hurt to decide whether to let him go, or let your love for him continuously consume you.

genre: hurt/comfort

wc: 6.2k

tags: this is the longest imagine that i’ve ever written 😭 it was a pain in the ass to write but i hope you guys like it :)

Sometimes, you think it’s hard to love Suna.

Suna is calculating and quiet, the reasons exactly why you find it difficult to continuously pine for him. Though, you already knew he was going to act like this. You’ve gone to school with Suna since elementary, and have even lived in the same neighbourhood since childhood, but you don’t think he knows that.

The thing is, you know Suna, but you don’t think he knows you. Every morning since you were six years old, you’ve seen him make his way to school, but you’ve never had the courage to walk up to him and say ‘hi’. For years, the only parts of Suna that you were able to truly admire were his back and his hair, from behind. The both of you have never been in the same friend group, class, or extra-curricular activity, until your second-year of high school.

You precisely remember the moment you stepped into the gymnasium to introduce yourself as the new manager of the team. It was a rainy day and you were excited, albeit, a little nervous, but irregardless, excited because you know and love volleyball. The sport connected with some of your childhood memories, as you recall playing it with your older brother. Too bad your physical skills weren’t up to par with the school’s expectations, or else you would’ve been on the team. Their loss though, because you found your strategy and knowledge of the sport to be your strongest feature as a player.

As a result of the girl’s team already having a manager, the coach recommended you to try signing up for the role of manager for the boy’s team. Now, you didn’t mind being around boys. Your older brother was enough for you to build up the courage against the challenge that is the hygiene and personality, or well, lack thereof, of boys.

However, the courage built over the years was not enough to stop your surprise at seeing none other than Suna Rintarou, from the front.

He looked completely different from what you remember him looking like. For some reason, you still had the young image of Suna in your head. The Suna you remember had puffy cheeks and neat hair, but this new Suna, was mature, older, and way more handsome. His cheeks thinned out and highlighted a sharp jawline that made his face look so clean-cut, unlike his hair that was messy and all over the place. But, if anything, you think that you prefer this Suna.

Because, God, it made him so much more attractive.

Now, it’s been about three months since you’ve become manager, and in those three months, you’ve tried to show Suna just how much you love him. The years of no talking and never meeting each other were all building up for you, and you just wanted to show him all of the care and affection you’ve held for him over the years.

You’ve cooked bento boxes and given them to him, you’ve filled his water bottle with the expensive electrolytes from the convenience store ten minutes away from the school before every practice, and who couldn’t forget, you make sure that his towel was clean and warm beside his gym bag, so that he wouldn’t use the same one for weeks until it reeked. Your affection was clearly shown through your actions and you prayed to the heavens that he would just notice you. Maybe say a ‘thank you’ or even a little head pat, you really don’t care, just some recognition would make you feel rewarded after all the hard work you’ve done for him.

But, the bento boxes were returned to you either by, Atsumu or Osamu, Suna drank the expensive electrolyte water, however, he seemed to not notice that it was you who put all the thought and care behind the action, and his towel was always just thrown to the side alongside the other towels. Even though the towel you prepped was a personal one from home that had your initials hand sewn in the corner. You thought that at one point he would’ve acknowledged you, but the gratefulness never came.

It didn’t matter though. Because you knew in your heart that you loved Suna Rintarou, and there was nothing that could change that. Even if you did all the sincere actions for him until the both of you graduated and he never noticed you, just knowing that he at least saw the bento box, the water bottle, and your towel, was enough to put a smile on your face. You would show Suna that you love him, ten times over.

“Y/N! Earth to Y/N!” Your head snaps over to your right, seeing the coach look at you with concern. Embarrassed that he caught you in your daily Suna trance, your cheeks heats up and you push yourself to your feet.

“Coach!”

“I thought you would never hear me. Listen, I don’t know what’s taking all your attention away, but can you please head down to the locker room and tell the boys that they need to make their way over here. The drill we spoke about yesterday is a bit complicated, so I would like to get started as soon as possible.” Nodding, you bow and begin to make your way over to the club room.

Your heart begins to speed up a bit, as the thought of seeing Suna shirtless makes your chest burn and your face hot. By all means, you are not a pervert! But just seeing him with all his muscles in the bright fluorescent light of the locker room looked like a cover of a sports magazine.

Suna Rintarou makes you feel so nervous. Unfortunately, you find yourself relishing in the minimal acknowledgement that he gives you, thriving off of the fact that you were in a club that just allowed you to be around him. Maybe it was a sign from the heavens that you weren’t physically athletic, but strategically, which resulted in your application as Boys Volleyball team manager. You’d like to think that despite his ignorance, it was in both of your guys’ destinies to end up with another.

Maybe the both of you were the main characters of a drama, where, despite all the bumps in the plot, you will always find each other being drawn to one another. Yet again, that was all just your stupid imagination, but one can dream, right?

Giggling to yourself, you were about to knock on the locker room door, before you heard loud voices through the small space between the door and the wall. It sounded like they were bickering with one another, and you begin to wonder if it’s Atsumu and Osamu fighting again, while everyone just stood around and observed. Normally, you would be the one to beg them to stop while Kita jumped in after you to pull them apart. But, now that you weren’t inside, you begin to push open the door at the possibility.

“...Y/N?” Your actions falter at the sound of your name.

‘Are they talking about me?’ Before you could do anything, you lean your ear in just to get a snippet of what they were talking about. You know what they say though, curiosity was what killed the cat.

“Come on Sunarin! You have to like Y/N! She’s so cute, and she cooks you all those bento boxes! If that isn’t girlfriend material, then I don’t know what is.” Hearing Atsumu praise you for your efforts made you smile, trying to hide it by covering your mouth with your hand.

“And, let’s not forget how she already likes you. C’mon Rintarou, we’ve seen her personally hand you your water bottle,” The voice you assume to be Ojiro teases, while everyone in the room laughs.

“Oh yeah!! I’ve seen those expensive electrolyte packets in her bag, man, how does it feel to receive such special treatment from Y/N?”

‘So my actions don’t go unnoticed.’ Your smile grows bigger, clutching your clipboard closer to your chest when feeling just how full your heart is with everyone’s recognition.

“Stop it guys.” Suna’s smooth voice finally enters the picture and you try to stop yourself from giggling out loud. “She’s our manager.”

“So?!? Man, that’s even better! You won’t have a girlfriend who doesn’t understand the importance of the sport. If anything, Y/N is more committed than you, maybe you will be the one competing for her attention against the club,” you hear smooching sounds and Atsumu speaks in a voice that tries to mock Suna’s, but did a terrible job.

“Y/N~ don’t forget all about me!! I love you Y/N~!” More kissing sounds can be heard, and everyone in the room laughs one more time.

The joy in your heart would’ve been extended, if it weren’t for the sudden aggravated scoff from Suna, and the slapping of a towel on bare skin. Atsumu yelps and the room suddenly dies down from the initial humorous atmosphere.

“Man, shut up. I don’t like Y/N. She’s alright, I guess.” a locker door slams shut, “But sometimes, she's just so... annoying. I don't know how much longer I can put up with it. And you know, after a while, it just comes off as desperate.”

‘Desperate? I’m not desperate.’ You weren’t keen on Suna noticing you. You just liked doing all those things for him, it showed you cared, and that he was at least deserving of some special treatment, because he was a very special person in your life.

“I feel bad for her,” he continues, “spending all that time doing shit for someone that doesn’t even like her. I can’t say anything though, cause she’s our manager and I don’t want the team to feel awkward. I guess I just have to suffer with her smothering me all the damn time.”

At that, you feel your once fluttering heart stop. You feel tears beginning to make their way to fall from your eyes, as your face begins to feel hot, but not in a blushing way. More like in a, you were about to sob out loud and the tears probably wouldn’t stop for a while, way.

You loved Suna. He didn’t have to love you back, the least you were asking for was for him to say ‘thank you’. But it appeared that your affection didn’t appear as a display of your love, but something that bothered him. Annoying him to the point of seeing your actions as suffocating. But that didn’t entirely bother you.

It was the fact that he didn’t even want to tell you to stop. He was going to live like that until high school was over, because you were the team’s manager, and it would be ‘awkward’. You begin to overthink.

What if you kept on going about cooking those bento boxes for him, filling his water up with electrolytes, and bringing a special towel from home, all warm and clean, without knowing what he actually thought of your displays of affection? You would’ve lived thinking that Suna somewhat appreciated it. Possibly having the idiotic thought that he was just shy, and maybe didn’t know how to exactly tell you that he liked you.

You are such a dumbass.

You begin to tremble, the pen that was once held up by your clipboard clattering to the ground and startling you. It brought you back to your situation, seeing the door still somewhat closed in front of you. Out of fear that they were going to see you and realise that you were eavesdropping, you ditch the pen and begin to run back to the gym.

You were going to tell the coach that you were feeling sick. You hope the teary eyes and flushed cheeks will do you justice, and he’ll send you home without any repercussions. But as of right now, nothing matters, all that did was the fact that you were annoying the boy you loved, and that your pillows were waiting to welcome your tears until tomorrow morning.

—

It’s been two days. Have you missed school for the past two days? Absolutely not. Suna wasn’t going to make you miss class, as much as you wanted to, you know that if you were going to skip, the school will inform your parents, and that last thing you want is your parents to get involved.

It’s just been two days since you’ve been to volleyball practice. You haven’t been missing your duties at all though. Yes, you’ve been in contact with the coach and Kita, with them informing you on the notes of the team and each player’s performance. The reason for that being, some coaches from Tokyo were planning to head down to Hyogo for a volleyball camp. The team needs to know what they have to improve on, and unfortunately, though you felt as if you weren’t in the right state of mind, you had to fulfil your duties as a manager.

You’re not over Suna, and to be honest, you don’t think you ever will be. He’s been such a constant force in your life, that a lifetime without his presence captivating your mind felt impossible to even conjure. You love Suna Rintarou, but you guess you would just have to hold it inside until the both of you go your separate ways. Maybe then you’ll get over him, but the possibility seemed unlikely.

You just have to give up expecting the response to your love that you’ve been hoping for your entire life.

Checking the cafeteria and seeing if you had enough food supply for three volleyball teams, their respective coaches, and their managers. It seemed like a chore to do all on your own, and it was. But you committed to being the team manager. Suna wasn’t going to change that whether he liked it or not.

“Y/N, the Tokyo teams will be arriving soon. Coach says you need to head to the front and help him with dorm placement.” Sighing and nodding, you get up from your squatting position from the bottom shelf. Kita notices your negative mood, by being the observant asshole that he is. As you were about to exit out the only doorway, he grabs your forearm, holding you back from actually leaving. His sudden touch surprised you, resulting in you jolting back. “I’ve been meaning to ask, are you okay?”

His concern falters your thoughts and movements. In all the time that you’ve been manager of the volleyball team, Kita has never really shown you that much care for how you felt. It surprised you a bit, seeing how concerned he looked for your wellbeing.

Yet again, he’s Suna’s friend.

“I’m okay, why do you ask?” He didn’t believe you, that was clear. It was so obvious when his facial expression did not change, Kita was still staring intently at you. It almost felt like he was trying to read your mind.

“You dropped your pen, by the way.” Taking it out of his pocket, Kita hands you your familiar piece of stationary, not thinking about it, you grab it from his hand. “I know you were by the locker room when Suna said what he said.”

‘Oh shit.’ You felt your heart come to a stop, yet again.

“W-What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So it’s just a coincidence that after Suna said that about you, I found your pen in front of the locker room door, and you didn’t show up to practise till today? Y/N, I’m not sure if you’ve failed to learn something about me, but I can tell you that I am not an idiot.”

His words caught you off-guard. Kita managed to figure out what was wrong with you, without even knowing who you were. To be honest, it scared you a bit, getting a glimpse of what Kita can truly find out when he concentrated hard enough. You admire that about him.

Taking your silence as you not knowing what to say, Kita lets go of your forearm and sighs.

“Suna didn’t mean what he said. He’s a very thoughtful individual who was pressured into saying those things by the team. You know how they are. Please try to see things from his perspective, as Suna is often misunderstood.” He begins to walk away, but leaves with a final word, “I’m not telling you to change how you feel about the situation. You have a right to feel how you feel. But, don’t take Suna’s words too seriously.” Kita walks away, leaving you alone in the cafeteria.

‘Did he just say not to take the insults Suna threw at you seriously?’ The aggression left behind the negativity a few days ago wants to say, absolutely not. What Kita said is unfair, to you and your feelings. Suna called you annoying and said you were smothering him, how can you jump around that? So far you haven’t had a night where you haven’t thought about how…mean Suna was. You thought that he only would’ve been mean to Atsumu or the others, but not you, never you.

It’s safe to say that your mind felt like it was on the verge of exploding. It was so stressful to choose whether or not you should believe Kita and show Suna your love again, or just ignore him like what you’ve been doing for the past couple of days.

You think that it’s best to just…not think about the problem. It’s a situation for later, for now, the camp and most importantly, the team needs your utmost attention.

‘God, I hate high school.’

—

“Hey Suna, you good?” Suna takes a sip of water from his bottle, noting that it tasted different from usual. Nodding, he wipes his sweat off with a spare shirt from his bag, also becoming aware that the towel that he was given wasn’t the usual soft one that he had from the beginning of the year. This one was coarse and rough, making him pick up the shirt he intended to wear if he got too sweaty.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Hey, does the water taste a bit weird? Like, spoiled or somethin’ cause it doesn’t taste like how it usually does.” Osamu’s eyebrow raises, grabbing the bottle from Suna’s hands despite his protests, and tasting his friend’s drink. To him, it tasted normal, like the normal water that came from the water fountain.

“No…it tastes like how it usually does?”

“Nah, can’t be man. The water I usually have is sweeter and it tastes like fruit juice. This shit tastes weird.” Suna’s face scrunches up, tasting his water again to see if he was just hallucinating the lack of flavour in his water. It’s stupid, how much he’s overthinking the flavour of something that he shouldn’t think that much about. But he hates how regular water tastes like, only really drinking it if he has to.

Observing Suna, it clicks in Osamu’s head what was missing from the water.

In the past, he has noticed you getting out a packet of electrolytes and putting it into Suna’s bottle with a sincere smile on your face. You looked so cute and happy, it puzzled him why you didn’t tell Suna that it was you that was making his water suitable to his tastes. The silent display of affection made him so jealous, he could only wish that he had someone that cared that much.

“What if you ask Y/N? She’s the one who fills up the water bottles anyway, she should know.” Osamu jogs back to the court, practising once more with the team captain. Inquisitively, Suna does remember that you fill up the water bottles. He also remembered how you asked him once at the beginning of the school year what his favourite drink was, and he only shrugged, saying that he likes fruit chuupets, and ever since then, his water tasted like the familiar fruity taste. Wanting to know why his water hasn’t been tasting like it as of late, it prompted him to go on a search for you. Damn warmups, he needs to know why his water doesn’t have the same taste than it usually does.

Looking around the gym, he sees your figure turn into the hallway. Following you, he begins to walk faster in order to catch up to you, thinking about what to say to you in his head, without coming across as mean.

‘Y/N, why does my water taste bad?’ No. ‘Y/N, why doesn’t my water taste like fruit?’ No, he’s going to sound stuck up. ‘Y/N, why does my water taste like everyone else’s?’ Oh God no, that sounds even worse.

‘Y/N, is there something different about my water?’ There you go. That should sound right.

He was ready to confront you, preparing himself to call out your name. But before he could do so,

“Dove!” Suna’s head snaps to the loud voice in front of him, and so does yours, as a tall, lanky, goofy-looking boy makes his way towards you. Much to Suna’s dismay, for some reason, a smile etches itself onto your face as the other man approaches you. “I thought I would never find you.”

“Tetsu, aren’t you supposed to be practising with your team? You shouldn’t be behind here.”

“Well, I just wanted to see my girl. Is there any harm in that, Dove?”

“Tetsu, stop,” you mutter, a bit shy, “I don’t want people from my school to hear you call me that.”

“Aw, you’re still cute as ever. Here, let me help you with that.” Suna sees the guy, ‘Tetsu’, grab the basket of water bottles from your hands. You protest, pouting a bit as Kuroo brings the case above your reach so that you wouldn’t be able to get it back. “I haven’t seen you in awhile Dove, let me be nice, okay?”

Honestly, he personally doesn’t know what overcame him, but out of nowhere Suna coughed loud enough for the pair to hear. He sees you jump a bit, seeing that one of your teammates, catching you in the midst of a conversation while you were supposed to be doing your duties. And it was even worse for you, as not only was it a teammate, but it was Suna. You assume that he probably hates your guts, based on what he said before. Even so, his glare started to make you feel a bit nervous.

“Can I help you?” Kuroo asks Suna as walks up to the both of them.

“I should be asking you that question. Do you need something from my team manager?” Embarrassed, you look down at your feet, trying to avert your eyes from Suna or Kuroo’s.

Kuroo’s eyes squint, looking at the middle-blocker who, to his surprise, matches his height. The both of them begin to have a staring competition, as one or the other refuses to tear away the eye contact. It started to worry you, because it’s almost been two minutes of harsh breathing and aggressive stares.

“O-Okay, I’ll be taking these then.” You grab the crate from Kuroo and begin to make your way to your original location. “Get back to practise guys! Lunch is in thirty!”

“Who are you and why were you talking to Y/N?”

“Woah, woah, buddy, why are you getting protective? Y/N, is a very, very, close friend of mine, so I think that I have a right to approach her right?” Kuroo smirks, stepping closer to Suna as a form of intimidation. “How about you? Are you her boyfriend or something?”

Suna glares at Kuroo, wanting nothing more than to hit him in the jaw. He would, but one, that would take too much of his energy, and two, he’s pretty sure you would hate him if he does. Still, something in Suna just wanted to tell Kuroo that he was your boyfriend just for him to back off.

But he wasn’t. Because he doesn’t like you. He’s sure of that.

“No.” Kuroo laughs, stepping back before turning to make his way back to the gym.

“Well then, that means nothing is stopping me right?” Kuroo walks away, but not before aggressively pushing Suna’s shoulder back with his own. Though, Suna was too concentrated on what the other boy said to even progress the aggression from the other side.

‘What did he mean ‘nothing is stopping him? Is Kuroo going to do something to you? What will Kuroo do that’ll result in Suna blocking him?’

“Sunarin! What are you still doing out here?!” Atsumu shriek could be heard from down the hall, making Suna jump out of his train of thought. He completely forgot that he was even standing here just staring at a wall and thinking of you. That was weird.

He usually never did.

—

The practice game against Inarizaki and Nekoma was…tense.

You could feel the passive aggressiveness coming strangely, from Kuroo and Suna across the net. Everyone else was curious as well, wondering exactly why these two, who’ve never met before, suddenly have a feud similar to that of a world war. At first, you were completely clueless, but then began to wonder if something happened in the hallway after you left.

Maybe Suna said something to tease Kuroo? Or maybe, it was the other way around and now they just want to kill each other.

In the third set at twenty-two points to Inarizaki and twenty-four points to Nekoma, the stakes and the nerves were equally as high. Nekoma has one win and Inarizaki has the other. It seems that this practice game was being played for far more than it actually was, since Kuroo and Suna never acknowledged each other apart from glaring and swearing at each other under their breath. Their respective teams kept asking them if they were okay, both replying with, “yeah, let’s just win.”

“Do you think something happened between Suna and that Nekoma player?” The coach asks you, leaning in and whispering it so that others wouldn’t hear.

“I’m not sure…but they do seem pretty aggressive with one another.”

Then, as you look away for just a moment, a spike comes from Nekoma, but was thankfully received by Kita. Following a set by Atsumu, Osamu jumped to spike it down, but was then blocked by none other than Kuroo himself.

At the brink of time, Ojiro retrieves it back, calling Atsumu to set it once more, this time for Suna to powerfully spike it down, aiding them in their two point loss between them and Nekoma. As Suna jumps up, you see Kuroo and Kenma jump as well.

A feeling of failure begins to settle in your heart.

Suna hits the ball, powerfully, the first time you’ve seen him hit a ball with so much energy.

But the ball immediately lands back down onto the same side, Kita not able to have caught up to it in time. Nekoma cheers out loud, congratulating each other on their hard work.

While Inarizaki lost, they began to support each other for their efforts, but you notice that Suna didn’t look as relieved as the others. His stare is hostile, facing towards the otherside where you see Kuroo looking at him with the same confrontational gaze. You swallow nervously, beginning to make your way towards Suna to pull him back. The Inarizaki boys take notice as well, observing how Suna and Kuroo were both stomping their way to each other. The same feeling of failure seeps into your chest again and you could sense something was going to go terribly wrong–

Suna punched Kuroo in the jaw!

Out of nowhere, a fight begins between the two players, both of them tussling with one another in the middle of the court. Kuroo lands a punch on Suna but is equally stunned when Suna fights back almost immediately after. You notice how Kuroo was pulling at his shirt, trying to bring him closer to land another blow, but fails as Suna strikes him one after the other. Both Nekoma and Inarizaki run up to their players, trying to pull them apart from one another.

The coaches start to shout at their players, ordering them to stop what they were doing at once.

Successfully, they both are torn apart from one another, but still continue to fight the air as they try to continue their brawl.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Your coach asks, trying to instill some discipline into his player. Unfortunately, your heart fails to calm down after witnessing the both of them fight so aggressively. You’ve never seen Suna fight someone, or him be so mad.

Suna looks up, pulling his arms away from his teammates and stares at you.

As the both of you make eye-contact, you refuse to move from your position and remain shaking. Almost as if you gave him an answer to something, Suna walks away, leaving behind everyone in awe.

Just then, you look up at Kita, who nods for you to go.

‘Should I go?’

The memory of him calling you annoying and smothering comes back in your mind.

‘Does he deserve my comfort?’

“Please try to see things from his perspective, as Suna is often misunderstood.”

Putting down the clipboard on the bench, you run outside to try and find Suna. Fall has never been kind to Hyogo, as rain pelts down from the sky, fogging your ability to try and see Suna. You call out his name, but your volume is minute in comparison to the strength of the rain.

Running into the open hallway, you look left and right to try and find the familiar boy. But, no luck. Your heart begins to ache at the realisation that you had no idea where Suna is. You didn’t know what he was doing all by himself in weather like this. Inside, you sincerely hope that he didn’t run out in the street.

‘Oh God, what if he did?’

Out of sheer panic, you run towards the direction of the gate, praying to the heavens that he didn’t do the latter. With rain coming down this hard, you knew that driver’s wouldn’t be able to see as clearly as they usually do. And the thought of Suna running into the street in hopes of getting his comfort jelly chuupets at the convenience store down the road doesn’t make you feel better at all.

You run out the gate, looking towards the direction of the store, failing to catch Suna or any person resembling him standing in the vicinity of it. Trying to get nearer and get a closer look, the sound of a blaring horn fills your ears. Turning to the left, you see a car heading your way, swerving side to side in a skidding motion. The road was so slippery in this type of weather, but why couldn’t you move?

The car was getting closer and your feet felt like they were stuck on the ground.

‘Why can’t I move?’

“Y/N!” Your body jerks back to the side. The car swiftly passes the both of you, getting back onto its regular general direction before driving further down the road. You feel your heart beating profusely, your heaving chest moving up and down in hopes of slowing it. “Are you stupid?! What do you think you’re doing?!?”

Looking up to thank your saviour, Suna’s panicked face greets you causing you to go silent. Both at the same time, you feel relief and stress seeing his face. Mostly relief because you’ve finally found him after all the events that occured today.

“Answer me—“

“Idiot!” Pushing him back, Suna stands there stunned while you clench your fists by your sides. “What—What do you think you’re doing, getting into fights, running out in the rain…are you a child?!? What is going on with you??”

Suna stands there silently.

“And don’t just stand there, I ran out in the road because, because I thought you went to buy your stupid chuupets that you love so much down at the convenience store! You are like a child, wanting fucking food when you’re angry or stressed. You know, I shouldn’t have come out here. In the rain, getting all wet. But you know what Suna, you know what’s pathetic? This, running in shitty weather like this, wouldn’t only be the most drastic thing I do for you.

Suna, for months, I-I’ve been buying expensive ass electrolyte packets, because I know you wouldn’t drink regular water. You only drink water that tastes like fruit juice. That’s from my own money by the way! I also cook you food, that I spend time out of my nights, and sometimes mornings, because you are picky! I know you don’t like cafeteria food, so I just threw my food into the circle, hoping to God that you just might like it! And-And let’s not forget about my towel, my hand sewn, hand washed, machine dried towel. I bring it for you fresh everyday Suna! I know you don’t like the rough school towels, so I brought mine with my initials!

And do I get noticed? No! I never got a ‘thank you’, or even a nod of recognition?! I have Atsumu or Osamu return my bento box in silence, even my towel, thrown into the pile with the rest of the team’s towels, and I get called annoying. I slave myself every day, Suna, just to get your attention. But I don’t think you realise that, I don’t have to do these things. I have never, ever, forced myself to do these things.

I am sorry, if I smother you Suna. I just love you so fucking much that I don’t realise the things I do to care for you, are exhausting.

But now, I’m exhausted. Of not receiving the gratitude I expect for the things I do. I was fine for awhile Suna, but now I’m—“

Then, you feel yourself being pushed onto his chest. One of Suna’s arms wrap around your waist, while the other holds your head down gently, as if silencing you from saying the rest of what you wanted to say. You feel shock course through your veins as the last thing you expected was a hug from the Suna Rintarou.

You and Suna stood under the harsh rain, their heartbeats echoing the drumming of waterdrops around them. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them in that intimate moment.

“Don’t get tired Y/N, please don’t get tired of me.” Out of nowhere, you feel yourself begin to cry. Wiping your tears onto Suna’s already wet jersey, he manages to sense your exhaustion, urging him to glide his hand on top of your head continuously. “I am grateful Y/N, that you do all these things for me without me having to ask.”

Suna pulls the both of you apart, cradling your face as he attempts to wipe your tears off. Despite his efforts however, you continue to cry, meanwhile struggling to breathe as you attempt to catch your breath. It feels like despite all the tears you’ve cried in private, seeing Suna recognise you brought a whole different wave of emotions.

“Don’t cry, I don’t want to see you crying because of me.” At that moment, Suna ponders for a bit as you see him look at you. You feel yourself freeze as he leans down to plant two kisses on both of your cheeks, an effort to dry your tears. Putting his forehead on yours, his thumbs continuously brush your jawline, as if he was admiring you. “It’s difficult for me to say Y/N, but I love you.”

Your eyes widen.

“I’ve loved you since elementary when you pushed that little boy off the swing after he pushed me off. I’ve loved you since middle school when you would sneakily put chuupets on my desk, even if you thought I didn’t know. You’re beautiful Y/N. And, I’m sorry for not thanking you earlier for everything you’ve done for me. I’m not brave like you, I can’t show the people I love that I care for them.”

“B-But the bento…”

“Of course I ate it. It hurts me to think that I didn’t, I just always asked Atsumu or Osamu to bring it back. You make me nervous Y/N. I can’t confidently walk up to you when you get prettier every time my eyes turn to you.

You make me weak, Y/N.” You huff, sniffling as Suna lands another kiss on the tip of your nose. He smiles and brings you in for another hug, but this time, your arms wrap around him tightly.

It is difficult to love Suna Rintarou.

It was a path fraught with uncertainties and moments of doubt. But as you stood there, holding the rain-soaked figure before you, you knew that the journey was worth it. Because in the depths of his guarded heart, you had found a love that was as powerful as it was fragile, as beautiful as it was challenging. And you were determined to weather the storm, to be the unwavering presence that helped him navigate the complexities of love and vulnerability.

#haikyuu #haikyuu anime #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu angst #haikyuu hurt/comfort #suna rintarou #suna rintaro x you #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintaro fic #suna rintaro haikyuu #suna rintarou angst #suna rintarou fluff #suna rintarou hurt/comfort #suna rintarō #suna rintaro imagine #suna rintaro x y/n #suna rintaro scenarios

[k4g3hika]

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 2

Warnings: angst, hurt/no comfort, heartbreak, break ups, jealousy, mentions of cheating, mean!Nancy, King!Steve, no upside down

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!cheerleader!reader , Steve Harrington x Nancy Wheeler

Summary: After the breakup you try to go on with your life but it's harder than you thought, especially when you have to see him with her everyday.

Word count: 6.9k

Notes: The upside down doesn't exist here. All the older teens are 18 & 18+

series masterlist

prologue | part one

-

He drags himself through the streets of Hawkins. The wind is harsh and the thin jacket that you threw back at him after you had followed him down your driveway, does little to shield him from the cold autumn wind. The rain is falling and the darkened sky forecasts the storm that is heading to this town. The leaves are falling, stripping the trees from the colorfulness. 

A frown is stretched across his face, his shoulders are slumped, wet strands of hair are hanging in front of his eyes, he doesn’t bother to push them away, he doesn’t even bother to hurry and get home faster to shield himself from the rain and the storm that comes closer and closer. 

He didn’t drive to your place the way he usually would, today he walked. 

His heart is aching in an unfamiliar way, it’s something he had never felt before. He can’t identify this feeling, he doesn’t understand what it is. He just knows that he feels bad for what he did to you. He always felt bad about the way he treated you but he never changed, not for you. 

He rarely ever gave you good moments to remember, yet you only held onto those. You didn’t care about the way he was treating you. You didn’t care that he looked at other girls or even flirted with them. You didn’t care that he forgot dates or even ditched you to hang out with Tommy instead. You didn’t care that he only gave you weekends.

The flowers he gave you, the little presents here and there, the I love you’s, the kisses in the rain, the few soft moments were enough for you. You loved him, no matter what. You loved him on his good days and on his bad days. He can’t do the same for you. He can’t love you, not the way you love him. 

He walks back into his house, not caring about the rain that soaked through his clothes, making it cling to his skin uncomfortably. He feels awful, he felt that way all night after you walked away from him. It was the first Friday night without you and it felt.. wrong. You always stayed over on weekends, his bedroom felt empty and lonely without you. 

After kicking his wet shoes off and throwing the soaked jacket on the ground, he drags himself upstairs and towards his bedroom. He eyes his bed, the one he slept with you in, the one he kissed you in, the one he held you in. The picture on his nightstand makes the ache even worse– you in your cheer uniform and him in his basketball uniform after a game, his arm is wrapped around your waist, you are both looking at each other with big smiles on your faces. Your green scrunchie is laying on his nightstand, along with a bottle of your favorite perfume. Your clothes are in his closet, your magazines and favorite books are laying around. 

Where does Nancy fit into all of this? 

This is so wrong, so so wrong but Steve doesn’t realize it, yet. 

For a moment, he lets himself feel. He sits down on his bed with a heavy sigh, he reaches for your scrunchie, holding it in the palm of his hand, he stares at it. He remembers the night you stayed over at his place for the first time. You were nervous and shy as though it was the first time alone with him– it wasn’t. You have known each other since you were little kids, your mom’s have been friends since their days at high school, they have even gone to summer camps together and are friends to this day. You and Steve have been around each other since, well, always. Whenever your mom’s would have ‘girls nights’, the two of you would hang out in yours or his room, listening to music or watching movies together. You were friends before you became more than that. He has yet to realize what he actually lost. 

The first time you stayed over, he walked into his room after giving you privacy to get changed. You were sitting on his bed when he walked back in, in nothing but one of his big shirts, your hair was open, your face free of any makeup. You looked so beautiful, he remembers the way his breath got caught in his throat, the way you blushed when he stared at you for a long time before speaking up. He remembers the way he sat down behind you and gathered your hair with his hands and pulled it into a low ponytail before he kissed your neck softly. 

He doesn’t feel the smile tugging at his lips at that memory. 

He looks at the picture on his nightstand, he reaches for it. The smile on your face so different from the look on your face he saw earlier– the tears in your eyes, the quivering lips, the sadness and the pain in your features. Steve stops breathing for a moment, a sinking feeling takes place in his chest and stomach. 

What did he do? 

He looks up and looks around his room with a weird feeling in his chest. The energy in his room is off, he can feel it now. He looks at his desk, books and papers are laying messily on the table. He remembers studying for a science test with you on his lap, for every right answer he got a kiss from you. He looks over to his bathroom, the door is wide open, he stares at the sink and thinks about the way you used to brush your teeth together in the mornings after you had stayed over.  

The moment those memories start to flood back, he shuts them out. He throws the scrunchie on his bed and gets up, he leaves the room and comes back with an empty box, moments later. He fills it with all the things that belong to you, everything that you have left behind goes into that box, which then goes into the back of his closet. He can’t get rid of it but he can’t give these things back to you either. It’s over but he just can’t give it back. 

He can’t let go. 

He can’t let you go, not yet. 

Not even when he ends up calling her after putting your things into the very back of his closet. Not even when he takes her out on their first date later that night. Not even when he kisses her when he drops her off again– ignoring the way it feels so wrong to feel someone else’s lips on his, ignoring the way it feels like he is betraying you.

-

Sunday morning. No arms are wrapped around you, no kisses are left on your shoulder, no ‘good morning’ whispers. You wake up to an empty bed, goosebumps arise on your skin when the cold wind touches your bare arms, you left the window open for him but he didn’t come, of course he didn't, what were you thinking? That he would climb through your window, apologize for what he did and beg for forgiveness? Did you really think that he would do that? You didn’t but you had hoped that he would. 

You lay in your cold bed, beneath the sheets that do nothing to comfort you. You look around your messy room, it feels so lonely. The house feels lonely without him here. Your mom is rarely ever home, too many shifts at the station keep her out of the house most of the time but Sunday mornings are always spent at home. 

The weather matches your mood, it’s raining harder than the day before and thunder rumbles in the sky. Tears well up in your eyes when your mind takes you back to him. How will you keep going? Your life turned upside down in the span of a few days, you lost him– not only your boyfriend but also your childhood friend. You lost both. He threw it all away, he threw you away like you never meant anything to him. 

A sob rises up in your throat, the ache in your chest is so fresh and it hurts so bad. It makes you want to rip your heart out of your chest to get rid of all this pain. 

You hear dishes clattering in the kitchen. You’re excited to see her so despite the pain and the sadness in your chest, you sit up and drag yourself out of your bed, using the bathroom and freshening up before you make your way downstairs. The smell of coffee lingers in the air, bringing a sense of comfort to you. The radio is on, if you leave me now is playing– how ironic. You roll your eyes and bite back your tears as you walk into the kitchen. Your mom is standing in front of the window, a cup of steaming hot coffee in her hand and a magazine in the other. She is wearing her workout clothes, she must have been on her morning run already.

You swallow, blinking a few times to make your eyes look less glassy. 

“Good morning, mom.” 

You quickly turn towards the coffee pot before she turns around, reaching for the orange mug. You miss the look of surprise on her face when she sees you up so early. 

“Good morning, sweetie.” 

She places her magazine on the counter, leaning against it, she presses the mug to her chest and watches you. You pour some sugar and milk into your coffee, stirring it slowly with the silver spoon, not glancing at her just yet. 

“What are you doing up so early?” 

Is it early? You didn’t even check the time when you got up. A glance at the clock on the wall tells you that it’s 8am. Great. You only slept for two hours. 

“I went to sleep early last night,” you lie and take a sip of your coffee. You turn your back to her and walk towards the kitchen table. You can feel her eyes on you. Maybe it was a mistake to come downstairs already, you are not ready to tell her about what happened. 

She grabs the magazine again and joins you at the table. 

“No date night last night?” She teases you, not knowing that this is enough for you to tear up again, “is Steve still sleeping? I bought those bagels he likes so much.”

Your bottom lip quivers and your eyes well up with tears. 

You and Steve always spent Sunday mornings sitting at the kitchen table with your mom, eating breakfast, drinking coffee and talking for hours. Sometimes Steve’s mom, Lauren would come over as well– now it’s all over. 

You shake your head slowly, staring at the dark liquid inside your favorite mug, “n-no.” 

She doesn’t have to look at your face to know that something is off, the way you are sitting with your shoulders slumped is more than enough for her to figure out that you are not feeling well. She furrows her brows and leans forward. 

“What happened, y/n?” 

You press your lips together, blinking rapidly, as though it will stop the tears from falling. You look up at her through your bangs, tears continuing to well up. Your hands are shaking and it takes everything in you not to break down.

Her eyes flash with realization, she raises her brows and sighs. Her gaze softens and she instantly reaches out to grab your hand, “oh y/n.” 

She doesn’t need words or an explanation to know what happened. The look on your face, the tears in your eyes are enough. She knows it all too well. 

You break down in front of her, not caring about holding the tears in any longer. She hugs you tightly, runs her fingers through your hair and comforts you as best as she can but it does little to make you feel better. The pain is just too fresh. 

How will you keep going? You ask yourself again. Steve had been there all your life, ever since you were little kids, he was there. He was always there and now you just have to accept that he is gone? That you have lost your boyfriend and your best friend? That he fell for another girl and left you for her? That you weren’t enough? That he never loved you when he said he did? 

What if you never crossed that line with him? What if you just stayed friends? What if you saw through him from the start? 

There are so many what if’s running through your mind, so many questions, though you don’t have any answers for them. 

There are so many things that you don’t understand. How could he say I love you when he never meant it? I love you under the moonlight, I love you between kisses, I love you during classes, I love you before he hung up the phone, I love you before going to bed, before leaving your house, before parting ways at school. So many I love you’s, so many lies. How could he touch you and still sleep with you when she was already on his mind? Did he think about her when he was with you? 

You hope he didn’t but that hope dies when you see him a day later, walking down the hallway with a smile on his face, hand in hand with another girl. After only two days of being without you, he is already with her, looking happier than ever. It tears a gasp out of you, it makes you stare at him in shock and with tears in your eyes as he looks right at you. 

Curious eyes, shocked faces and hushed whispers.

Steve swallows nervously, he puts on a brave face. He can see the look in your eyes, the tears, the pain, the shock when your eyes move over to her. Nancy Wheeler. She is holding his hand tightly, looking around shyly when she notices all the stares. Her hand feels different from yours. 

All eyes are on the new couple but his eyes are on you. He watches the way your face goes from shock to pain to betrayal to disappointment. Questions run through your mind, he can tell by the look on your face. He can tell by the way your eyes flash with confusion when they meet his again. How could you? You were mine last week and now you are already hers? Were you ever mine? 

Uncertainty fills him the longer he stares at you.

This was the right decision, right? 

You stare at him for what feels like forever. Time slows and it’s just the two of you in this hallway. He forgets about all the people staring at him, he forgets about her. For a moment, it’s only you and him. Tears that he would have kissed away in other circumstances threaten to fall down your cheeks but you don’t let them. You force them away and blink rapidly. You are suffering because of him. He knows it and it makes his heart sink to his stomach. 

He forces himself to look away from you. He forces himself to look at her. Though his eyes itch to glance at you when he hears your locker shutting and your footsteps echoing through the crowded hallway as you hurry out of the school. You brush past him, the smell of your perfume invades his senses. 

He wants to turn around but he doesn’t. 

-

You knew this would happen, you knew you would break down the moment you would see him. The mention of his name was enough to make you cry but seeing him with her after he just broke up with you was too much. 

You didn’t want to run away, you didn’t want to break down but you couldn’t help it. The moment you saw him with her, a wave of nausea fell over you, you had to get out so you ran out of the school with your backpack in hand and your jacket in the other. You ran to the back of the school, the place where all the stoners– no one is here now, you are grateful for that. 

You throw your backpack on the ground and sit down, leaning your back against the wall, you pull your knees up to your chest, still biting back a sob as tears begin to fall down your cheeks. You are supposed to meet up with Heather and Chrissy at the library but you don’t feel like going back in there and quite frankly, you don’t want to see the pitiful looks in their eyes. 

You lean your elbows on your knees and cup your cheeks as you stare into blank space. 

You don’t understand, how can he be with her after not even a week? 

Was he with her all this time already?

Did he cheat on you? He must have.

The smell of smoke fills the air and the sound of footsteps follow but you don’t bother looking up, hoping that it’s just some random student. Luck isn’t on your side though, it never is. 

You see his boots first, glancing up a little, you see the denim jacket and smell his cologne. The usual eye roll that he would get from you is missing. He doesn’t say anything, instead he blows smoke into the air and sits down next to you. 

You sniffle quietly, hiding your face by looking down. 

“Do you want me to kick his ass?” Billy asks, “cause you know I will.” 

You shake your head. 

He sighs, placing the cigarette between his lips, he turns his head to look at you. Tears roll down your cheeks, the wind blows through your hair, exposing your face a little. You are quiet as you let yourself cry, in front of him. You never thought that you would ever cry in front of Billy, out of all people but right now, you couldn't care less.

“You know, I always thought you were too good for him.” 

You want to scoff and roll your eyes but you don’t have the energy to, not today. 

“That’s bullshit,” you mumble. You know what type of man Billy is, he is just like Steve– if not worse. 

“No, it’s not,” he chuckles, “I might not be the guy you want to hear this from but you deserve better than fucking King Steve. There’s plenty of other guys for a pretty girl like you.”

“That’s not helping,” you mumble. Raising your head to look at him, you expect him to stare at you with a smirk on his face or amusement in his eyes but you find neither. His face is straight, his eyes are filled with– you don’t know what his eyes are filled with, he is hard to read. You don’t see any pity and that’s good enough for you. 

He shrugs and continues to smoke his cigarette. 

You turn away from him again and lean your head against the wall. You look up at the sky and watch the clouds move. 

“I saw them together two weeks ago.” 

You look back at him, watching him through your blurry vision, “w-where?” 

He takes his last drag of the cigarette before he throws it on the ground, he blows the smoke out into the air and turns back to you. 

“At the diner, they were in his car and,” he pauses when he sees the fresh tears in your eyes. 

“And?” You ask. 

Your heart is racing, fear settles in the pit of your stomach. Does it even matter anymore, what he did with her? He left you for her already, it shouldn’t matter anymore but it does. 

He blinks, looking away, he feels a sense of pity for you. Billy doesn’t know what it’s like to get his heart broken this way but he knows what it’s like to be left. 

“They kissed.”

Despite everything that happened, despite the things he told you already. These words still feel like a stab to your heart. Your eyes drop, your shoulders slump and a heavy sigh falls from your lips. 

“Oh..” 

Two weeks ago. He called you after he went to the diner to ‘study’ with her to say goodnight the way he always did but that night was the first time he hung up without saying I love you.

You want to run again. You blink rapidly, wanting the tears to be gone. You get up and grab your stuff, ignoring the weight of his eyes on you. You want to run and get away from everything including yourself.

“Where are you going?” 

You shrug. 

Where are you going? You don't know where you should go.

Billy gets up as well, reaching for your wrist to keep you from running away. You look down at his hand before you look up and into his eyes with a frown on your face. He holds his car keys up, “wanna get out of here?” 

Billy is not someone you want to spend the day with but Steve is now the last person you want to see. You are desperate to get away and you would leave with just about anyone if that means that it will keep you away from him and her.

“Okay.” 

-

Who could’ve ever prepared you for such pain? Absolutely no one– not the many heartbreaking books you’ve read, not the relationships you have watched falling apart, not even your mother’s heartbreak when your father left could have prepared you for the pain that you have been going through since he left you. It should be getting better by now, right? But it doesn’t, if anything, it keeps getting worse and worse. 

Everywhere you go, you see him, everywhere you look, you get reminded of him, memories follow you every way you turn to. He cursed you with love, pain and heartbreak and you despise him for it, you despise the way he shattered your fragile little heart, the way he broke every promise he ever made, the way he never loved you when he told you he did. 

‘I-I’m not even sure if I ever loved you, y/n. I wouldn’t have fallen for her if I did love you, right?’ Those words haunt you, they haunt you day and night, when you wake up in the bed you used to sleep with him in, when you get ready in the bathroom, staring at your reflection, thinking about a time when he would come up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist, when you walk down the stairs only to think about all the times he would walk through the front door with freshly picked flowers, your favorite ones. Those words haunt you at school, when every place you turn to is nothing but a reminder of him, when you see him with her. They even haunt you in your sleep and there is nothing you can do about it. 

Curious and confused glances were thrown your and Steve’s way after the breakup, whispers in the locker rooms, bathrooms and hallways– you heard them all. You weren’t the only one shocked about Steve’s actions, everyone else was too. 

A month of torture had passed and you know that it’s far from over. No matter what you do, no matter who you are with, you can’t stop thinking about him, you can’t stop hurting, you can’t stop crying every time you think of him, you can’t stop tearing up every time you see him. This morning you had walked in on them kissing in the bathroom, her back was pressed against the wall, his hands were on her waist, he was kissing her hungrily. Neither of them saw you, you left just as quick as you came. It ruined your day before it even started. 

Will this ever end? This pain, this heartbreak? 

Your knees are pulled to your chest, your eyes are closed, your chin resting on your knees. You should be at cheer practice, instead you are crying your eyes out on the cold bathroom floor. 

The door opens and two different voices fill the silence in the bathroom, ones you instantly recognize. 

“I just don’t get why you’re so mad–”

“You promised that we’d leave together but you just ditched me because you wanted to lose your stupid virginity to King Steve, who’s by the way, a huge asshole,” Barb grumbles, “I bet it wasn’t even worth it.”

“I-It was! And he’s not an asshole!” You hear Nancy exclaim, “he’s sweet a-and it was.. nice. And it’s not like something happened to you, you got home safe, didn’t you?” 

Your eyes snap open, you place your hand over your lips. Your heart leaps to your throat and your stomach clenches uncomfortably. 

So he didn’t sleep with her while he was still with you. It does little to comfort you, it still makes you feel sick to know that he is with her, that he is so happy while you still cry yourself to sleep every night. 

Does he hold her afterwards? He never held you after you had sex– maybe once or twice on nights where you had felt sad, he traced your skin, drawing stars around the scars that only he got to see. Does he kiss her afterwards? He never kissed you, most of the time he only pecked your forehead and then he would turn away from you. Does he fall asleep afterwards or does he actually bother to take care of her the way he never took care of you? 

“Right,” Barb scoffs, “well, don’t be surprised when he leaves you for another virgin.”

Virgin. Is that what he wanted? Another virgin, another notch on his belt? A new thing to brag about? 

“Why are you so mean?” Nancy mumbles. 

“I’m not mean, I’m just telling the truth, he seems to be moving on quickly– he was just dating y/n and now he’s with you, like he wasn’t in a long term relationship.” 

You hear Nancy shuffling around the bathroom, placing her bag on the floor, followed by a loud sigh. 

“I mean, it wasn’t love.” 

You raise your eyebrows and clench your jaw. Anger fills you and pain tugs at your heart. You know it wasn’t love for him but it still hurts you to hear those words. Does he talk to her about you? Does he laugh about what he once knew love to be now that he has her, the girl he actually loves? 

“It wasn’t love?” Barb asks, laughing at her friend's words, “I don’t know about you but they seemed pretty in love to me.” 

“Well, he wasn’t in love with her– I mean, he dated her because that was expected of him, right? She’s the popular cheerleader, the pretty rich girl,” she says mockingly, “those have nothing in their brains and they’re pretty boring too so.. It was all just for show, I-I mean, do you really think he wanted her for her? I’m pretty sure that she’s already onto the next guy anyway, girls like her are–”

“Whoa that’s mean, Nance.” 

Yeah, these words are mean for someone who looks so sweet and innocent. You don’t know whether to laugh or to walk out and slam her stupid face into the mirror. You have been holding yourself back from confrontations, not wanting to reveal how hurt and angry you really are about the breakup and about her stealing from you. 

“It’s the truth! Steve told me that Billy Hargrove was after her since he moved here this summer.”

“What does that have to do with her being ‘easy’? He’s after her? So? Half of the school would die for a chance with her, that doesn’t make her easy, it’s not like she’s after them– besides, even if she was, she’s single and free to do whatever she wants. She wasn’t the one who went after other people while she was still in a relationship unlike your boyfriend. The only easy one here is Steve– seriously, stop being so mean, you got what you wanted, what else do you want?” 

That’s what you ask yourself as well, what else does she want?

You push yourself up and smooth down your skirt but before you can leave the stall and make your presence known to them, their footsteps echo through the bathroom, the door opens and they leave without realizing that you were there. 

Sighing, you slump against the wall and look up at the ceiling. You never really cared about Nancy Wheeler, you never had anything to do with her. You didn’t mind her, not even when you saw the way she looked at Steve while he was still yours, her big and innocent eyes trained on the King. She always batted her eyelashes at him, giggled at his stupid jokes and it drove him crazy, he loved it, the attention he got from another girl. She wasn’t the first one who looked at him that way, who touched his arm and giggled at his jokes but she was the first one who managed to steal his attention away from you. 

She was the first one who made him doubt his feelings for you. 

And he let it all happen and it angers you because you feel like a fool for loving him despite the things he put you through. He will never be yours again and you will never be his again, you know it and yet it’s still such a hard thing to grasp. It’s only been a few weeks without him, yet it feels like a lifetime.

You know you have to let him go. 

You kept holding onto him, hoping that he would come back because you thought you knew that he would come back but he won’t and he never will. He looks happy with her, happier than he ever looked with you and no matter how much it hurts, you let him go and you get rid of every part of him that you kept holding onto.

The sweater that he left behind in your bedroom, the collection of polaroids in the shoebox under your bed. The necklace he gave you on your sixteenth birthday. The bottle of cologne that he left on your dresser. The ring he put on your finger– a promise ring. You throw it all away, not letting the memories get to you this time. You push them all out, you force them all out of your mind. 

You let him go. 

-

Steve Harrington stopped existing in your life. Days and weeks have passed since the day he left you and it’s as though he became a ghost in your life. You stopped looking at him, you stopped acknowledging his presence– whenever you walk past him in the hallways, you pretend to not see him, when you’re in the same class, you never spare a single glance at him, not even when you have to walk past him to get to your seat, when you’re both at basketball games and you have to cheer him and his team on, you look at everyone but at him and it bothers him. It bothers him to see you acting like he doesn’t exist to you, like he’s not even there, like he’s invisible. 

He doesn’t understand what the feeling in his chest is every time he sees you– odd. It feels odd to see you walk past him without stopping by his locker to steal a kiss– he did this, he caused this. He didn’t want you anymore. He wanted her and now he has her but why does he feel like the worst person alive? Why does he feel so unhappy when he finally has what he wants? 

“Steve?” 

You stop in front of your locker, opening it, you look at yourself in the tiny mirror you put into your locker– you look beautiful, the way you always do. Your hair is pulled into a loose ponytail, you’ve got your cheer uniform on like always, a cardigan that looks way too big on you hangs loosely on your form, it reminds him of the way his big sweaters would look on you. 

He wonders if you still think about him. He wonders if you still hate him for what he did to you almost two months back. He wonders if you would curse him out if he came over to talk. He wonders if–

“Steve!” 

Nancy tugs on his hand and says his name a little louder, pulling him out of his thoughts and forcing him to tear his eyes away from you. He blinks, furrowing his brows as he looks down at her. 

“Yeah, what is it?” 

“Are you… okay?” She asks, giving him a small smile. 

“Yeah,” he mumbles as he looks back at you again, “yeah, I’m okay.” 

“What are you doing tonight?” Nancy asks.

He shrugs, “I don’t know, I thought we could watch a movie or something.”

“Oh uh, about that,” Nancy starts, looking around, she doesn’t even notice the way he looks at you, “I have this thing–”

Steve frowns, though it’s not because of his girlfriend’s words but because of the man approaching you. 

“Thing?” Steve mumbles. 

“Yeah, I’m working on this project with Jonathan and we gotta get it done before christmas break, so..” 

“Oh, yeah that’s fine,” Steve says without really thinking about her words. His attention is elsewhere. 

Billy Hargrove. 

Steve had always hated him. He moved here this summer and left an amazing impression the first time he met him. Billy had set his eyes on you the moment he stepped into Hawkins. 

Every party you and Steve had gone to together, ended with you arguing because of Billy Hargrove– well more so because of himself and his jealousy, because he couldn’t contain it, because he was too insecure, because he saw the way he looked at you, like he knew that he would get you eventually, like he knew that he would get you to leave him. 

Maybe that’s where it all went wrong.

Maybe his insecurities got the best of him. 

Maybe things would have been different if he wasn’t so jealous all the time. 

“Hey uh– I’m meeting Barb at the library, I gotta go,” Nancy says before she grabs his chin and pulls him in for a short kiss. 

Steve forces a smile onto his face and pecks her lips once more before he lets her go. He watches her leave and waves at her when she turns around to flash him another smile. When she is gone, he turns back to you. 

Billy’s hand is resting on the locker next to yours, the usual smirk on his face is wide as he eyes you up and down. You don’t seem too happy about his presence though, rolling your eyes at whatever he is saying to you. Billy leans even closer to you and you don’t hesitate to push him away from you, you sigh, he can tell by the way your lips part and the way your chest rises. You press your fingertips against his chest to keep him away from you, saying something to him that Steve can’t make out from afar before you turn around and leave. Billy doesn’t even look fazed, if anything, he smirks even more and tilts his head, licking his lips as he stares at your legs. 

Steve rolls his eyes, still hating the way Billy looks at you. He shuts his locker and walks into the same direction you walked to. It’s the last class of the day, the one he shares with you; English class. 

You are already in your seat when Steve walks into the classroom. The seat next to yours is empty, it still is ever since he moved. You are looking down at your notebook, a pencil tugged between your lips as your other hand is propped against your cheek. He looks away and makes his way over to his new usual seat when he realizes that it’s already taken by Tommy Hagan who looks at him with a smirk on his face. His girlfriend, Carol is chewing her gum obnoxiously as she sports the same smirk as her boyfriend. Steve clenches his jaw in anger, irritation sparks inside of him. 

These two have been making his school days more unbearable than before ever since his fallout with Tommy. 

“There’s a free seat,” Carol smirks as she points to the seat next to yours, “the queen looks pretty lonely without her king, don’t you think?” 

Tommy chuckles, “yeah, don’t worry we won’t tell your mistress.” 

Steve scoffs at their words, rolling his eyes, he looks around the classroom. The seat next to yours is indeed the only free one. Fuck. He shakes his head and turns away, begrudgingly making his way over to his old seat. He glances at you when he throws his books on the table. 

You don’t acknowledge his presence but you freeze when he sits down next to you. You pause what you are doing, clenching your hand into a fist and taking deep breaths. Steve notices it all– he wonders if you are angry or nervous. 

He leans back in his seat and turns around to look at his old friends who are already giggling. He glares at them and turns back around, hoping that this lesson will go by quickly. 

He tries to keep his eyes off of you but he keeps glancing at you every few seconds or so. He notices something, it’s a small detail but he notices it, the eyeshadow on your eyelids has been replaced by black eyeliner, that must make your eyes look brighter– if you just looked at him, he would know. 

His mom asks about you all the time, he felt bad when he had to tell her that he broke up with you, he felt even worse when he had to tell her about his new girlfriend. She wasn’t too excited to meet her. His mom adores you. He doesn’t remember the last time she saw you. He doesn’t even remember the last time he saw you out of school. You started skipping cheer practice, you stopped coming to games even though it is your job to do so as the cheer captain, you have slowly started to give that title over to your friend, Chrissy. Some days you even came to school with your regular clothes, ditching the cheer outfit for a pair of jeans and a sweater. 

He wonders how you are feeling. 

He wonders what you do in your free time now. 

He wonders if you still listen to the same music. 

He wonders if–

“You’ll be working on this assignment in pairs.”

“Do we get to choose our partner?” Carol asks with a smirk on her face. 

Panic fills Steve’s chest when he stares at the teacher. He missed the whole class because he was staring at you.

“No,” Mrs. Jones says with a straight face, “not after the last time. You work with your seat partner. You got a little over a week, so–” she pauses as she takes a look at the calendar on her wall, “you will get to finish it just in time before Christmas break.” 

Steve drowns out the rest of her words, he swallows nervously as he looks over at you. His palms get sweaty and his heart begins to race in his chest. 

You are not giving any reactions, you pretend to be unbothered by this whole situation. When the bell rings and everyone gets up to leave the classroom, you get up and gather your books. 

Steve runs his hand through his hair and looks around before his eyes find you again. He speaks your name with uncertainty in his voice. 

“Don’t bother, Harrington. I’ll write the assignment myself, not that you’d be much of a help anyways,” you mumble, coldly. 

This is the first time you have said anything to him in weeks, you didn’t even bother to look at him. You didn’t even bother to wait for him to say something. You turned around and left without sparing a single glance. 

“Y/n!” He calls out to you but you are already gone. 

Sighing, he slumps back into his seat, not caring about the many eyes on him. 

“Aw,” Carol coos with a smug look on her face, “cute, the lovers will reunite again. Isn’t that how you met Nancy?” 

Tommy chuckles, throwing his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulder, he looks down at Steve, “yeah,” he nods, “don’t think that King Steve will get his queen back though,” he chuckles. 

Carol’s eyes flash with amusement, “right, last time I checked she was screwing around with Billy,” she says. Giggling when she sees the shocked look on Steve’s face, “oops, you didn’t know?” 

She pouts at him, “guess your fear was valid after all, I mean that’s what you were always afraid of, right? That he would steal your girl?” 

Steve swallows harshly, he feels like he has been punched. You are sleeping with Billy? The guy you always told him not to worry about? The guy that caused all his jealousy?

“Don’t worry, Steve,” Tommy laughs, “it’s just sex, damaged girls like her just wanna be fucked," he says before he turns around with a chuckle, he and Carol leave before Steve gets to say anything back.

A bitter taste lays on his tongue, he leans back in his seat, staring down at the hair tie around his wrist.

He can't believe it, he can't believe you.

-

Again, I only do taglists for my friends and mutuals! You can follow my sideblog and turn on notifications so you don't miss new fics and updates! @andvyswritingss

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「 CRY FOR ME 」 ♡ MASTERLIST

PAIRING : Suna Rintarō x Reader. Sakusa Kiyoomi x Reader.

GENRE : Angst.

TAGS/WARNINGS : NSFW. Fake Dating. Unrequited Love. Profanity. Enemies (not really) to Lovers. Friends with Benefits. Not very canon compliant.

SYNOPSIS : You have been in love with your best friend Sakusa Kiyoomi for as long as you can remember. The problem? He is in love with somebody else. And for you to snag even the tiniest bit of his affections, it seems like you would willingly go through drastic measures.. Even if it means teaming up with his lifelong rival, Suna Rintarō

TAGLIST : CLOSED

PLAYLIST + sunayn texts + sunayn crumbs

CHAPTERS

PROLOGUE

ACT I – PARTNER

ACT II – PLAYING WITH FIRE

ACT III – BLUR

ACT IV – LET'S NOT FALL IN LOVE

ACT V – SAFETY NET

ACT VI – LIE TO ME

ACT VII – TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE

ACT VIII – ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS STAY.

ACT IX – ALWAYS

ACT X – BITTER LOVE

ACT XI – AFTERGLOW

THE FINAL ACT – CRY FOR ME

EPILOGUE

[k4g3hika]

FAVOURITE MISTAKE ━ imagine!

steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: steve harrington was aloof. one moment he was loving and another he treated you like you were garbage. but at the end of the day, you knew he loved you. even if he was dating ms. perfect, nancy wheeler.

genre: angst

wc: 2.8k

note/warnings: this was based off season one steve! season two, three, or four steve would NEVER. so i warn you now that steve is a major asshole in this, and there is no remorse. there are mentions of sex and cheating. reader is the other woman no matter how much she wants to deny it. also shoutout to giveon for inspiring me to write this ToT. and!! thank you so much to @andvys for rekindling my love for steve harrington!! haha you inspired me to write again <3

tags: fwb, angst with really no comfort, reader and steve are 18+, DNI if you are under 18 please.

Steve Harrington was…aloof. One moment he was ignoring you, treating you like you were scum and the last thing that mattered to him in the world. Then, there were the times when he adored you. He treated you as if you were the love of his life and worshipped every part of you.

You wished that he acted like the latter every time. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much whenever you saw him prancing around with his picture perfect girlfriend, Nancy Wheeler. Who, he claimed to love to the core, but behind the door you knew that wasn’t true. You heard it from Steve himself.

“Steve…wait,” lightly pushing Steve off of your neck, you stare into his eyes as he bore into yours, “I have a question.”

“Okay, is everything alright honey?” He got up a little, pushing himself to your side instead of right on top of you. What you were about to say took a lot of bravery. It’s been on your mind for the last couple of weeks, but you just couldn’t manage to spit out the words.

“Y-Yeah, everything is great. I just…” you sigh and look at Steve, who was leaning on his elbow as he looked down at you. His touch gave you goosebumps as he brushed it on the little exposed part of your stomach that your shirt couldn’t cover. With moments like these, the intimacy was just too much. You couldn’t handle seeing him ignore you at school and adore you in the privacy of his or your house. The frustration was finally getting to you so you muttered, “Do you like me Steve?”

He scoffs, “well, of course I like you Y/N. I like every part of you-”

“No. I mean, like, do you like-like me?” Your face begins to feel hot. Steve’s eyebrow perked up and his touch along your stomach stopped.

“Yes, Y/N, honey. I like-like you. Why are you asking? We sound like middle-schoolers.”

Relief fills your heart. You couldn’t believe that he actually liked you. But before a smile could grow on your face, you ask him one more question.

“Then…why don’t we date? Like, with a label. If you like me so much,” your eyes drop down, “why are you still with Nancy…” the room got quiet. You could hear Steve’s pause in his breathing, before he exhaled loudly. His silence got you nervous, and you suddenly wanted to leave. You knew you shouldn’t have asked him. Now you’ve gone ahead and ruined everything.

But before you could leave, Steve gets back on top of you and puts his hands behind your neck. His thumbs begin to caress your cheeks. You could feel your heartbeat quicken, as his silence along with his eye-contact was making you nervous.

“Nancy is just…an image. She’s cute y’know. But you?” His lips land on yours for a quick peck. “You’re different. You’re my favourite.” At first, Steve’s kisses all over your face made you giggle and his reply to your question eased your heart.

But now, when you look back, you should’ve left Steve right there and then.

Noise from your phone interrupts your chain of thought. You finally look around your room, realising that you were not in fact at the Harrington residence. And in place of Steve, was your body pillow clutched tight to your chest. Recollecting yourself, you notice that the phone is still ringing, urging you to immediately get up and answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Honey.” Your heart stops. Speak of the devil. “Can I pick you up? I miss you.” Looking up at the clock on your bedside table, the time reads out ten o’clock.

“But Stevie, it’s late-”

“I know honey, but I really want to see you,” you hear sighing on the other line, “please?”

You can never say no to Steve. Even if all your friends and family claimed this relationship to be toxic, denying Steve would be like giving up an addiction.

“Okay.”

“Great, I’ll pick you up.”

—

Steve’s BMW pulled up to your house and you wrapped your jacket tighter around your body. It was fall, prompting Hawkins to have this breeze brush through and freeze everyone in the process. He honks the horn, and you pull open your front door and rush to his car.

“Hey honey.”

“Hi Stevie.” You shyly mutter, jumping into the passenger seat and shutting the door behind you. “What’s wrong-”

Almost instinctively, Steve kisses you straight away with a need you’ve never felt from him before. You try to protest, but he just pushes deeper, holding your face and attempting to pry your mouth open with his tongue. Beginning to get uncomfortable, you praise God that Steve finally leans back, looking at your equally swollen lips.

“Steve! What-what are you doing!” He leans back into the driver’s side, pushing his hair back with…was it frustration? “Steve, what’s wrong?”

“C’mon honey, I just wanted to see you. Why don��t you let me kiss you, hm?” You furrow your eyebrows, trying to see any clues in his posture, face, anything really, to see why exactly he was acting like this. Sure, there were times where either of you couldn’t wait to get your hands on each other, but this time it felt different.

Almost like Steve was trying to kiss and forget, like he had a problem weighing on him that he wanted you to erase.

But you cared too much to just be a memory eraser. You wanted to know what was wrong with Steve, and you wanted him to vent to you about it.

Like a couple.

“Steve, tell me what happened-”

“Y/N.” His sternness pulled your words back. “Can you quit asking questions? Jesus, you’re acting like you’re my girlfriend.” Silence ensues the conversation. You were taken aback.

It’s true, you aren’t his girlfriend. But…didn’t he like you? You thought you and Steve were more than this. More than a hello, fuck and bye.

You were, right?

“Listen, come here, ‘kay? Help me feel better and I’ll tell you after. If that makes you happy.” Pausing, your hands clench out of unease. You console yourself, promising that Steve was probably just frustrated and tired. Hopping over to the otherside, you sit yourself onto his lap and look into his eyes.

They looked almost empty, apart from the obvious lust that he had for you. But was there anything else? He said you were his favourite, Steve didn’t like Nancy, he liked you.

Steve pushed his lips onto yours, hands rubbing all over your back and lifting your loungewear. Caressing every part of you, he continued to kiss all over your neck, finding his favourite spot to leave a mark. Your hands gave a slight pull to Steve’s brown curls, emitting a groan from him and him pulling you even closer.

“Love you honey…thank you.”

That’s right. Steve loves you. Not Nancy Wheeler, not any other girl in Hawkins. Steve Harrington loves you.

Now, looking back, you notice that Steve never told you why he was so upset.

—

You walk up to Hawkins High, holding your textbooks to yourself. Chrissy says something that you don’t really pay attention to, probably something about Jason or cheer practice later that afternoon. The parking lot was filled with students, and even more as the school bus came around and dropped off more kids.

As the both of you came closer to the school, you knew that this was where Steve normally parked his car. Getting giddy, you try to take a peek at the familiar BMW, but in contrast, you see quite an unfamiliar sight.

Steve and Nancy were passionately arguing. Not that they didn’t argue, it was normal for a couple. However, this one seemed more angry, mainly coming from Nancy which was unique. She was the quiet type and usually didn’t get mad. Being nosy and all, you continue to stare in hopes of catching what exactly they were talking about.

“Oh my, is that Steve and Nancy shouting? Is the dream couple finally gonna break?” You hear Chrissy giggle beside you. Your best friend didn’t exactly know what was happening between you and Steve. At the beginning, before his public relationship began, she was made aware of your situation. But as soon as Steve and Nancy were a thing, you kept you and him a secret.

It’s not that you were embarrassed, you just didn’t want to receive criticism for what you were doing.

“Wait, Y/N, is that not your claw clip?” Looking up, you see an object that Nancy was holding in her hand. It seems to be the subject of their argument as Nancy had it in front of her, accusingly pointing it at Steve. Trying to take a closer peek, you see the familiar white clip that had gold lines engraved all over it. It glittered in the Hawkins morning sun and your heart came to a stop.

It was your clip. It must’ve dropped last night when Steve took it out of your hair. You swore you grabbed it, but then when it was missing this morning, you just assumed it was in your closet somewhere! You began to panic, and grab Chrissy’s arm to walk faster towards the school.

Turning around, you make eye contact with Steve. His gaze was low and angry, making your heart jump out of fear. You knew Steve wouldn’t get mad at you, but maybe he was just annoyed that Nancy was screaming at him. In a public parking lot at that.

“Y/N?!? What are you doing?” You walk speedily to your locker, opening it up quickly and stuffing your books inside. “Y/N? What’s the matter with you? You’re scaring me.”

You don’t know why you were feeling so anxious either. But, seeing how Steve was looking at you, it made your knees feel weak and not in a good way. Your arms held onto the books that were on the verge of falling out, shaking. Your arms were shaking.

“Nothing Chrissy! Just…see you at Bio, okay?” Leaving Chrissy in the dust after slamming your locker shut, you made your way to the restroom. Trying to ease your pacing heart, you rub your chest and get in front of the mirror. You know Steve likes you, so shouldn’t you be happy that Nancy found out about the cheating?

Cheating…it wasn’t cheating. You were with Steve way before he began to date Nancy. If anything, she was the other woman.

Oh God, what if Nancy sends whispers around the school about you and Steve. You would be seen as the other woman, even though you most definitely were not. Nancy Wheeler is the other woman.

Wait.

Suddenly, a smile etches on your face at the realisation of something. Steve and Nancy will surely break up, maybe already have, right? She found another woman’s clip in her boyfriend’s car. That should be the last straw. That means, Steve will finally be yours. And you and Steve will finally go public. This must be a sign. It was meant for your clip to be left in his car, it was for Nancy to finally realise that he didn’t love her.

He loves you.

—

Later that night, you wait for Steve’s call by the phone. It will come. You know it will. He will call you, say that Nancy and him broke up, and the both of you will finally go public. No more kissing in his car or his room, maybe you can kiss in the hallway, or even at parties. Steve Harrington will finally be in your arms, and you can actually call him your boyfriend.

However, instead of the phone ringing, a knock comes from the front door. You lift your eyebrow, looking down at the phone expecting something else. Maybe Steve wanted to do a surprise visit? He never knocks though…

More knocking came, and you lifted yourself off of your bed, going to the door while pulling on one of Steve’s sweatshirts that he gave to you. When it will be made official, might as well wear something of his right? Since you were going to call him yours and he was going to call you his. The thought made you giggle, and you open the door with joy etched onto your face to meet just the person who you were looking for.

But instead of relief, Steve’s expression was filled with annoyance. His hands were on his hips as he looked at you like a stern parent.

“Steve! You’re here-“

“Are you crazy?” He spat. Your heart came to a stop. “You left your clip in my car last night Y/N. Do you have any sense?”

“What?” You pull open the door more, wanting to pull Steve inside but he stood his ground. “Steve-”

“You know that I have a girlfriend Y/N. How can you leave your shit when you know she’s in there every day! You’re so fucking careless.” Steve heaves, wiping his eyes with his fingers. He really left you speechless, because instead of saying what you wanted to say, you could only stutter. “What, you have nothing to say? Did you want me and Nancy to break up or something? For what, so that you and I can be together?”

You purse your lips and thin them out, fingers coming together to fidget with one another. It felt weird, having what you wanted to happen thrown at your face in a fit of rage.

“God, this was all a mistake. Messing around with you, was a huge mistake!”

“Why are you saying these things? I thought you liked me, Steve.” Muttering your words almost like a whisper, Steve chuckles demeaningly. Your heart continues to hurt, however, you stay and stand in your place, ignoring the ache.

He rolls his eyes, “Y/N, listen, I like you…but for an entirely different reason. Way, way, different from Nancy…

You’re a good fuck.”

You felt your heart shatter. “W-What? What do you mean Steve?” You walk forward, attempting to hold onto his shirt. Trying to find solace in him, Steve responds by stepping back looking almost disgusted with your touch.

Why, why is he doing this to you?

“Trust me, we have fun. But I can never be in a relationship with you. So get that dream out of your head, and don’t leave your crap in my car.” Steve begins to turn around to head towards his car, stepping on the last bits of your heart with every step he takes. But before he finally leaves, Steve spins with one final heart wrenching comment.

“And take that shit off, I better not see you wear that sweater out. If Nancy sees, she might actually break up with me.” He chuckles, “plus, it looks fucking weird on you.”

A sob leaves your lips. Without any guilt or remorse, Steve gets into his car, reversing out of your driveway. You realise that he didn’t even turn off the engine, making you see that he really didn’t give a shit about you enough to think he was going to be here long.

You fought the urge to slide down your doorway. The last thing you wanted was your neighbours to see you helplessly sobbing on your doorstep. Opting instead, to close the door and sit on the floor. Covering your mouth, you cry, wiping your tears off with your sleeve.

You feel your shoulders shake with every sob of anguish that was pulled out from your body. Your hands felt like leaves shaking in the wind like the ones outside in the cool autumn breeze. Everything felt so useless and inside, you felt so helpless.

You were an idiot for thinking that Steve ever liked you, or even ‘loved’ you. But it just seemed too good to be true. All he wanted you for was sex, and it made you feel empty, as if starved from something you thought you had.

But, you couldn’t hate Steve. At the end of the day, you see that it was your own idea of Steve that made you stay.

You saw Nancy’s Steve. The affectionate one that kisses you in front of people and shows you off at parties. The one that takes you out to breakfast and dinner, and cuddles you on the couch.

You failed to see your Steve, who called you past nine o’clock at night, ignored you at school, and made you feel loved, only when no one was looking.

Steve didn’t play Nancy, no, the only fool who was a pawn at his game was you.

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