#such a late and shitty response from myself lol sorry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

foggyparadisecandy · 6 months

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[Trauma dumping - scroll on by if you are looking for horny stuff]

I know, I know ... another one. I'm just purging it out as fast as I can. Catharsis in a public blog. Why not?

This one in particular is written for my ex-partner even though I know she won't read it. I just have to play pretend to feel remotely good about things.

Hey D - I want to start off and say that I love you, I care about you, and I forgive you for anything and everything. Please remember that you can always reach back out to me.

Yeah, what you did was pretty shitty tbh. But ... it's ok. I mean ... yeah ... do better. Good people do shitty things on occasion and IDK.

Maybe I'm way off base but everything points to a horrible trauma response. I could be wrong. I don't think so though.

Either way, who gives a shit at this point. I forgive you and the point of this letter is to ask that you don't use your treatment of me or us to beat yourself up.

It hurt. It still hurts. It probably will hurt for awhile but I'm going to come back stronger than I was before so, in the end, it will be a net positive for me. Except for losing you. That ... really ... is awful tbh.

I've told you how much you brightened my life in other letters so I'm moving past that one here. Let's talk about me for a moment and where I'm at and where I'm heading so you can feel like "hey ... Foggy is going to be ok ... I didn't permanently harm him and it seems like he's actually doing well."

And let's really quiet that subconscious that makes you want to feel bad - at least on this particular issue. It's all going to be better than fine for me in the end. I know that and you should feel ok about me.

I've made a lot of new friends who have been very kind and accommodating to my pain. You know I'm a curious dude and it's been very interesting to hear so many stories from other people. Love it.

I've reconnected with some old friends - online and in RL. I've got a pretty full social calendar these days which is a first in ... a loooong time. Pretty ironic considering how much I was always telling you to build connections and my own were thin.

I've started working out. It's only been 7 weeks and I'm doing pretty freaking good tbh. I started doing pushups and planks every time I thought of you but ... that got exhausting fast ... you are always on my mind lol. So I cut back to 30 minutes per day.

I've had it out with my wife about everything. Well ... not exactly everything but most things. I'm not sure where that goes but I know I don't want to go back to a boring status quo situation. You opened my eyes to a new way to exist and I want more, not less. It'll be ok either way - I know that for sure.

I've lost 8 pounds in 7 weeks. This one isn't really a blessing lol. I couldn't eat or hold food down for the first five weeks. Only really started eating again recently. But it is what it is. I wasn't heavy at all but I'm happier thinner so ... a win?

I've ... mostly ... started to be able to sleep through the nights again. For the longest time, the most I could sleep was 3 or 4 hours then wake and could not drift back off. I still ... am struggling ... a bit. Woke up the other morning at 4 am crying. That wasn't fun. But it's rare lately and I'm guessing will be gone soon enough. Not sure if this is a win or if it's me just feeling sorry for myself. I'm guessing the latter but I'm leaving it in here because it *is* better than it was early on so it's progress.

I've started therapy to figure out why I chase after helping others (mostly women) to fill the sad little hole in my soul. Actually ... I already know why. You know all the shit with my mom and ... yeah ... I'm working on it. Trying to get healthy for the first time since I was a ten year old kid. Kind of silly that it took you breaking up with me for me to figure this stuff out. It is really breaking me down to realize my life since ten has been so fucked up with trauma. Can you imagine not clearing your trauma away for that long? Can you imagine that? I hope not. Did you get that hint? I hope so.

I've refocused on work for the first time in a decade. I've set some huge fucking goals. I want to hit it big and I've given my team through the end of next year. I'm going to do it and then I'm going to fuck off from work and shift my priorities to something else - something more fulfilling. It's still to early but I want to take some of those self-improvement things we did together and do something with them for others. I'm using them on myself so I can see how they work and where they need to be fine-tuned. We'll see how it all goes.

I'm trying to figure out what makes me genuinely happy. All of my belief systems have been shattered tbh. I ... don't know yet if that's bad or good or just is what it is. I don't know anything atm about love or happiness or fulfillment or ... anything. I'm still more than a bit lost. You untethered me from everything I knew about myself. I'm not saying this is a bad thing ... I'm saying ... I don't know what comes next. Knowing me, it's going to be fucking great and better than it was. I've always been pretty good at solving problems and making great things happen for myself and those around me (as you know).

I'm doing my best to be kind to myself. I am not sure when the last time I was kind to myself was. I honestly can't remember when I've had a decent thing to say about myself. It's always been "do better" "be better" stuff. I'm working on it as fast as I can. Beating yourself up is an awful way to live. Not sure why I need your splitting on me to figure that out.

I have realized ... despite everything ... I am a good and decent and kind person. I lost sight of that for a hot minute there. I'm not perfect. Hah. Nope. But I do the best I can and I am quick to take steps to change up when I know I've fucked up. But yeah ... I'm good and decent and kind. I know those things now better than I ever have.

And ... you are good too. I know it deep down in my soul.

I see it in you. You are not your father. Far from it.

And you didn't permanently hurt me here. Lots of good will come from this. Believe it. Thank you for everything.

And I believe good things will happen for you. I have full faith in you.

I am no longer in a position to tell you what to do but ... please work on your trauma. For your own sake. And find a new path in life. I know you feel like your current job is your life but ... that job will bring you nothing but misery and sorrow and trauma and damage.

You deserve better. You know that. Deep down, you know everything we shared showed you a different path.

You deserve far better.

You might need to go through some pain to get on a new path but I know who you are. I know you are a fighter and know how to get shit done. You can and will do it. Start planning. Start doing.

And legit ... I'm still here and willing to boost you along in life.

I've always wanted one thing: to see you reach your full potential. It's amazing. The world is waiting to see it.

One final thing that I have discovered and honestly I feel really good about this one - even if you never reach out again:

I love you sincerely and wish nothing but the best.

#catharsis #self care #thoughts

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heart-bones · 1 year

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Here are my nosy questions!! Sorry I am late to the party!!

3,5,8,9,10 to start (theyre my favorite numbers!!)

15,21,24,29

AAANND 38,41,42,43,44!!!

I'm finally answering these!!! thank u @fujoneshi ilu bb

3 do I smoke : nope, I grew up around cigarettes and weed and I dislike both. (certain cigarettes can smell good but marijuana almost activates my fight or flight response I don't know why I just fucking hate it so much)

5 do I take drugs: alas, no again! I come from a family of addicts and drug dependent depressive messes (I love them all so much) so I just kind of avoided everything. the downside is I'm also a depressive mess and am just rawdogging it

8 want any tattoos : I cry every day that I'm not covered in tattoos, yes I want so many. I sometimes feel that I missed my window of opportunity to start because they're so much more expensive now and exclusive too (like in a good way because the quality is better its safer now a lot of the artists now are more respectful and aren't like. scuzzy dudes giving shitty blowouts to girls and making them get unnecessarily naked and uncomfortable BUT also in a bad way because everything is 500$ or more and you have to get on a waiting list or enter raffles lol )

9 got any piercings? : just my stretched earlobes and I had one lip piercing on the bottom left in my late teens early 20s that I closed up.

10 want any piercings? : oh yes also eternally. Septum, nostrils, bridge, philtrum, more up the shell of my ear. I also want to stretch my earlobes more, maybe up to 1inch. (they're at 1/2 ! )

15 favorite movie : oh so hard!!!!! here's a random list in no order - interview w the vampire, it, candyman, beauty & the beast, hunchback of notre dame, the little mermaid, mask of the phantasm, batman returns but also batman forever, crimson peak, the producers, the silence of the lambs, red dragon, like I can go on forever but I think the first six are really always on rotation.

21 what I love most about myself - I just keep Doing It, even when I really really want to d*e. And cats like me.

24 my relationship with my parents - SO MUCH BETTER now that I don't live at home. it's nice to like have that distance that lets you see each other more as people. I wish often that they could have let themselves do better things for their own lives instead of shelving a lot in the name of the family but you can't go back or shoulder that burden since they made the choices, you know? I was closer to my mom like against my will and she was often super emotionally volatile & combative. my dad and I are super similar (literally almost the same) and I think we're closer now even though we don't live together anymore.

29 a reason I lied to a friend: I really think a lot of times it was to shield them or spare their feelings? in my later teens after a while I stopped going to our core groups' house parties, often saying I had to go to work, because after a certain point it was just everyone getting so drunk they'd fuck around or pass out by the toilet and it made me super uncomfortable but I was embarrassed to say that to them ? 🙃

38 my childhood career choice : a librarian or a teacher, but also a vampire. Later teens I wanted to be a writer, then a professional madame lol I think I still sometimes want to be all those things

41 where I want to be right now : 4digit minimum in my bank account with my passport getting ready to go to Japan. Or the first part and just at a bookstore with a milk tea and a cute girl to hold hands with. But also in bed with my cat is fine too.

42 last thing I ate : a strawberry princess cake from feng cha with a tall tumbler of ice water and a milk tea

43 sexiest person that comes to mind immediately : ooo this is also kind of hard? Sam Reid because Shoulder to Waist Ratio 👀 but not because I want to have sex with him its because I want to Look Like That.

44 random fact about anything : did you know that Mariska Hargitay was 35yrs old when she started working on SVU ? Because I definitely thought she was middle 20s (u look at those season 1 episodes from 99 and she's a baby. but she's literally my age?)

#bless u fujo this was fun

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emkay512 · 3 years

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Just For Tonight

What if it had been Liam’s idea to have house Beaumont sponsor Riley in his social season? And what was Liam’s night like after he dropped off Riley in the very first chapter?

A/N: I watch a lot of rom-coms and chick flicks and couldn’t stop thinking about Liam and came up with this 🙃 This exists in my OUAT universe, so I’m using those tags, I hope that’s ok and you enjoy!

Thank you at @sfb123 and @queenrileyrose for pre-reading and giving me that extra confident boost! I think I was marinating on this too long! Lol 😅

Warnings: Some language, but that’s about it.

Tags: @burnsoslow @bbrandy2002 @ao719 @kat-tia801 @sincerelyella @charlotteg234 @neotericthemis @queenrileyrose @kingliam2019 @iaminlovewithtrr @amandablink @iluaaa @jared2612 @sfb123 @twinkleallnight @tessa-liam @secretaryunpaid @ladyangel70 @gkittylove99 @texaskitten30 @shanzay44 @ofpixelsandscribbles

Word count: 1,676

Liam’s head was swimming. He and Riley just piled into a cab to escort her back to her apartment after their midnight rendezvous with the Statue of Liberty. That kiss she gave him on the ferry had him dizzy, he was losing his inner fight to remember his duty bound responsibilities and wanted to embrace her again, but he also didn’t want to lead Riley on.

As if Riley was reading his mind, she broke the silence and asked, “hey, Liam?” Liam focused his gaze on her in reply, “what if just for tonight, we indulge in ourselves a little?” Liam lifted his brow in confusion.

“How do you mean?”

Riley was feeling quiet vulnerable with her idea, but in keeping with her own suggestion, she explained, “I have a feeling about you. That you’re used to putting your priorities and desires dead last in life. I’m even a little afraid that you may come to regret this night with me because you will convince yourself you had over indulged by allowing a little personal pleasure in your life. I’m saying, don’t do that. And I won’t either. I’m not sorry for opening up to a prince I know I’ll never see again. So… so how about you do the same?” Riley felt her cheeks blush and she looked up at him to see his eyes soften, knowing he was moved and would agree.

“Ok.” Liam smiled genuinely, she was completely right, and now thanks to her, he wouldn’t allow himself to feel any shame for enjoying this night. “Ok, Ms. Riley Brooks, I’ll do the same. Just for tonight, I will feel no shame for enjoying myself, for letting my heart call the shots for once.”

“Good.” Riley almost felt her eyes well up with tears from both the most sincere happiness she was feeling mixed with sadness of the night ending. Just then, the cab slowed to a stop right in front of her stoop. “Well, this is me. Good night, Liam. Thank you for the unforgettable evening.”

“Riley,” was all he could whisper before they both leaned in, closed their eyes, and surrendered into their goodnight kiss. Liam had relaxed completely, and it was Riley that deepened the kiss. She had parted her lips for him and he allowed himself to touch his tongue to hers, reveling in her sweet taste. He took one hand to cup her cheek and his other hand around her waist, both hands pressing her body as close to his as possible.

At the sound of the cabbie clearing his throat, they parted, both a little out of breathe. With smiles on both their faces, they said at the same time, “well, good night.”

They awkwardly laughed, and Riley touched her hand to his 5 o’clock shadow and said, “I think you are amazing, and thank you again for tonight.” She offered him the sweetest smile and then moved to exit the cab.

Liam replied as she was making her move out, “goodnight, Ms. Riley, and just so you know, I will never regret this night.” It was the right thing to say, as he saw nothing but elation on her face as she gently shut the car door and turned to walk into her apartment.

After giving the cabbie the name of his hotel, Liam leaned back in the backseat of the cab with nothing but stars in his eyes. He couldn’t believe the night he just had, and he was too far gone in his euphoria that he wouldn’t allow himself to think back to the reality that awaits him. Just for tonight. Just like they had said. He would allow himself to close out this night on his love sick high.

Upon his arrival back to the suite he was sharing with his friends, Maxwell was the only one still up. Liam could swear that his good, cheery, friend, Maxwell Beaumont, operated on constant energizer bunny batteries and actually didn’t sleep.

“Well, well, well… couldn’t quiet pull off the next-morning-walk-of-shame, my prince?” Maxwell knew Liam hated the formalities among his friends so he knew right away that Maxwell was in a full ball-busting mood. But Liam didn’t care. And to his dismay, Maxwell noticed. “Whoa. What the hell is that dopey look on your face!? You did get laid??” Maxwell was sincerely perplexed because he knew that a one night quickie was unlike Liam, but he could think of no other explanation.

Liam chuckled and shrugged, knowing he was unable to shake the grin off his face. No, he didn’t get laid. But he did get kissed. Twice. By a woman he knew he wouldn’t shake from his thoughts, for probably the rest of his life. Just for tonight. He continued the mantra in his mind. He’d let his mind wander to the idea of seeing her again. “Calm down, Max. She just showed me a very lovely evening. She pulled off a trip to the Statue of Liberty. Just for me.” Maxwell was not missing the stars in Liam’s eyes and couldn’t resist in fucking with him a little more.

“Huh, so your tryst involved another lady? Ya know, Lady Liberty? Kinky.” Liam rolled his eyes, that’s not even creative or funny, he thought to himself. “Wait, so how in the hell did you pull that off? I know you get shit done, but a last minute late night boat ride in a foreign country to impress a girl? How did you do it?”

“I didn’t. It was all the other way around. She called in a favor to impress me, and as you can see, I was quiet taken.”

“Well damn, sister’s got some moves! I mean, look at you, I’ve never seen you so smitten!” Maxwell was still muttering some mockeries at Liam, something about Liam being a smitten kitten. But it was something else he said that stuck out to Liam. Sister. Maxwell had call her a sister. After a second, a wild idea popped into Liam’s mind.

“That’s it! That’s it, Maxwell you genius!” Maxwell blinked up at Liam, very unsure what part of his rambles got Liam so excited. “House Beaumont still needs a sponsor for the social season, right?”

“Uh, yeah. That’s right.” Maxwell was clearly not putting two and two together.

“Catch up, Beaumont! Her! Riley! What do you think? We could catch up with her in the morning and ask her to join the season under your house. Well?”

Maxwell was grinning from ear to ear. He thought it was such a good idea that he was disappointed he didn’t think of it. “You’re on. You and I can find her in the morning before your early flight back and if she says yes, I’ll bring her back here to get the guys caught up and she’ll fly back with us.”

“Genius! Ah, I could kiss you right now Maxwell! I’m gonna try to catch some sleep before the morning.” Liam said while pumping his fist in excitement and he half jogged into a separate room to fall asleep.

The next morning, Liam and Maxwell caught sight of Riley walking up to her bar. Maxwell still had a curious amount of energy in him and next thing Liam knew, he was jogging ahead to Riley with his hand in the air to get her attention. “Hey! Hey, Riley!” Liam kept his pace as Maxwell rushed ahead.

Riley whipped around to see Maxwell charging at her. “Oh, hey. It’s you. One of Liam’s friends, Maxwell, right?”

“Yep! Good memory! Anyway I’m glad I caught you. I’m here because I want to formally invite you to Cordonia to participate in all the festivities for Liam. Normally you wouldn’t be allowed to join, but I want to sponsor you!” Maxwell could see the shock and confusion on her face as he continued to explain. “I’m from a noble house, but I don’t have any sisters so we don’t have anyone in contention to marry the prince. Instead we get to pick any girl to sponsor, and I pick you!”

“Wh-why me?”

“I’m not doing it just for you.” Just then Liam caught up and strode into the scene.

“Good morning, Ms. Riley Brooks.” Liam used his most husky and calm voice possible. He knew he was about to be asking a lot out of her.

Riley instantly picked up Liam’s voice as he walked up and greeted her, “Liam? What are you doing here?”

Liam approached and grabbed her hand, bringing it up to his lips for a quick kiss. He met her eyes as he explained, “I’m here to do the same thing my good friend, Maxwell, is here doing. I want to convince you to come to Cordonia. Everything he said is true. You can participate as his sponsor.” Riley moved her eyes from Liam and looked just over his shoulder at Maxwell, she was trying to decide if he was someone she could trust and someone whose house she wanted to join. She saw a very promising and honest smile on his face, and she felt comfortable. She then looked back to Liam, who was still holding her hand.

“I… I don’t know.. that’s a big commitment..”

“Look,” Liam said quickly not wanting to lose his momentum. “I’ll level with you, Cordonia won’t be like New York, but there’s something about you. About us, that I trust. There’s something here Riley, why not give it a shot. Come on, I know you feel it too.”

She most certainly felt it too and she thought about last night and the opportunity that could be ahead of her, versus her current shitty bartending life in New York, and she came to her decision. “Ok,” she smiled and looked him in the eye, “I’m in.”

“Yes!” Maxwell shouted from behind them, “go pack your bags, this is going to be the adventure of a lifetime!”

Riley looked at Liam and said, “I guess we’re shooting for more than just for tonight, huh?”

Liam replied, “heh, yeah I guess you’re right.”

#choices trr #choices #king liam #liam x riley #the royal romance #trr #trr liam #liam x mc #trr Liam fic #trr fic #trr ouat

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bringingglory · 3 years

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@eerna oh my god acshdgagaahhdvsahsv I never expected you to see my post, so I won't lie, I feel like super embarrassed acsgsga

anyway! not gonna lie, this wip has been sitting in my drafts for months now because I wanted to see if I could plan stuff but then I got stuck because Details are hard to figure out BUT I did write out a few scenes, so I'll put them below the cut because they're kind of long. the first one is the "opening" of the fic and the second one is a sort of reimagining of the Silent Princess memory. i have a few other scenes sort of scribbled out, but these are the most "polished" of the stuff i've written alsdkfjasdfk

the opening lol

Link wakes to a faint buzzing in his ear that sends little darts of pain shooting through his skull. He waits for it to end, and when it doesn’t he groans and rolls over, smacking the space around him to find whatever was making that noise and make it shut up. He can’t fathom why his brain is rolling through his skull like that and why there’s an intense pressure behind his eyes, but when he rolls onto his side, he has to press a hand to his abdomen to settle whatever was sloshing around inside his stomach.

Ah. He’s hungover.

Link peels open his eyes and the light sends a fresh wave of pain ricocheting through his skull. He blinks once, twice, and then forces his eyes open to find a phone the size vibrating against the ground a few inches away from his hand.

Link groans and pushes himself up to a sitting position before grabbing the phone and dismissing the alarm. When the phone falls silent in his hands, he finally looks around and tries to assess the situation.

He’s sitting in a bathtub, the porcelain slightly damp from what he hopes is just water. His shirt smells vaguely of cheap vodka and he still can barely look at the sunlight streaming through the window without wincing.

A moment later, he realizes the phone in his hands isn’t his.

Link holds the phone up to his face and rubs the grogginess from his eyes. He swipes up on the screen, surprised that it isn’t protected by a password.

The phone is open on note in the notes app, and it reads:

link, if you’re reading this right now, im so sorry for leaving you in the tub like that!!! my dad’s supposed to come home from the office today and the document case i was telling you about is missing and he cant know i lost it. i know we just started getting along, and im so sorry to ask you this, but could you find the document case? impa’s in my contacts and she can help you. also you have permission to dig through my phone, just dont judge me if i have anything embarrassing on there. can you find the file by midnight? his flight leaves at 3 and i can stall him until then.

it’s 6:11 right now so i have to run before he gets back, but please hurry! i’ll be waiting for you

-zelda

Link blinks and turns the phone off.

Last night? What happened last night? Why can’t he remember anything?

Well, if his raging headache tells him anything, it’s that he had probably blacked out last night.

Link isn’t usually a drinker or a partier. He isn’t really one to go to big social events. So he’s really confused as to why he woke up passed out in a tub with zero memories.

And also, why Zelda left her phone with him.

a version of the Silent Princess memory but they're at a party and its modern

Zelda laughs. “I think I got a little too sober from the Yiga incident to enjoy the party now.”

Link isn’t sure if he’s supposed to laugh with her, but nods anyway. “Do you want to get some air?”

Zelda gives him an odd look, then sighs. “Yeah. Yes. That would be a good idea.”

Surprisingly, she grabs his forearm and leads him through all the bodies pressed against each other. He can feel the heat of her hand wrapping entirely around his arm like a hot glove, even above the heat of the late summer air and the heat from other people in close proximity.

Somehow, they make it to the other side of the house. Zelda pushes the back door open and pulls him past the other stragglers outside before they find a nice tree with a patch of grass that seems generally clear of alcohol and vomit.

Zelda releases his arm as soon as she finds the tree and she sits down, dropping her head against the trunk.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

Zelda waves her hand vaguely.

Link pauses. “Do you need water?”

“If you get me any more water, I’m probably gonna piss myself,” says Zelda. “Sit down.”

He sits down.

The crickets hum vaguely around them, mingling with the distant buzzing and thumping bass of the music from the party. But without people pressing in from all sides and an open field in front of them, it finally feels like he can take a full breath.

The silence settles over them like a blanket. It feels comfortable to him, but he isn’t sure if it’s supposed to be.

“Oh, Link, look.”

Link cranes his head to see Zelda twist around and point out a blue flower glowing vaguely in the dark. It was beautiful with blue petals so light they looked almost white, and a sky blue bleeding out from the center before fading out.

He wants to give her a questioning look, but she’s transfixed on the flower. He can see the smallest of smiles creeping up onto the corners of her mouth.

“It’s a Silent Princess,” she says. “It was my mom’s favorite flower.”

He can tell something important is happening, so he keeps his mouth shut.

“She said that we can’t grow them domestically yet, despite our best efforts.” Zelda breaks into a full smile and it’s radiant. “The Princess can only thrive out here. In the wild.”

They both turn to look back at the house as another loud WHOOP cuts through the air, followed by the sound of a can being crushed against a head.

“Nature is beautiful,” says Link.

Zelda swats him and he has to bite back a laugh.

She turns and runs a gentle finger along one of the petals before sighing and leaning back against the tree.

“Thank you,” she says suddenly. “For being there with the Yiga. And for being there the whole party.” He can hear her swallow. “I’m sorry for being a bitch.”

“You weren’t being a bitch,” says Link.

“I was, though.” Zelda inhales beside him. “I mean, just because I’m under a lot of stress from my dad doesn’t mean I’m allowed to take it out on other people. I was acting like a kid.”

“To be fair, your dad sounds like an asshole sometimes.”

Zelda snorts. “Yeah. He can be.” He turns his head to see her lean forward to fiddle with the grass. “But he’s got a lot on his plate. And it probably doesn’t help that his daughter doesn’t want anything to do with his ‘legacy.’”

“Just because your dad’s under a lot of pressure doesn’t mean he’s allowed to be an asshole,” Link points out.

Zelda finally looks up at him and offers him a small grin. “Fair enough.”

“And besides, you’re your own person. You don’t need to follow in his footsteps.”

“That’s what I said,” huffs Zelda. “But of course it’s, ‘blah blah you have a responsibility. I didn’t raise you like this so you could waste your time researching pointless things.’” She sighs. “It’s fine. It’s whatever. I came to this stupid party to blow off steam, I guess. But Goddess, I did not eat enough today to drink that many cans of shitty beer.”

Link sits upright, alert. “Do you need to get food or—”

“No, no, that’s fine.” And that smile returns and Link wonders what else he can say to make it stay. “You’re sweet. But I’ve probably gotten drunk enough tonight.” Her eyes slide up to him and the mischief in them stops his heart for a moment. “You still have to try the Hot Frog.”

Link blinked. “...what is that?”

the endings are abrupt on both of them just bc i wasn't entirely sure how to end them akldjfasd. also the "Hot Frog" is gonna be some kind of mixed drink that gets link really drunk -- me trying to allude more to the original memory from the game haha

anyway, thank you so much for the ask! and thank u for coming up with the shitpost because it made me laugh the first time i read it hasdklfj hopefully i'll continue this one day and do ur shitpost au justice!

#lmao i just realized i titled the fic 'the lelda of zelda: breath of the weath' bc of a meme i saw at the time of making the google doc #also this is completely unimportant but im normally a past tense kind of gal #so it was a bit of an experiment writing in present tense for this #i might end up switching to past tense again later anyway aksjdfhasd #anyway thank you again for the ask <3 #eerna #asks

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swiftlymoniquesblog · 3 years

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Only You: Dean x Reader (Requested)

Requested by: @littlemissmoxley: I was hoping for a Dean x Reader please? I’m fairly new to the fandom so I’ve only seen 3 seasons so far lol. I was hoping for a story where the reader feels like she is constantly compared to Cassie in Dean’s eyes even though she is a hunter too and she confides in Sam but Dean overhears the conversation and tries to convince the reader that he appreciates her for who she is and is sorry if he made her feel differently

A/N: Welcome to the family! We hope you enjoy your stay! I like comparing this fandom to the song Hotel California because like they say “you can check out any time you like but you can never leave!” lol don’t worry, that’s meant as a joke. It’s a very fun and very loving family so I hope you enjoy it!

Had to jump all the way back in season 1 for this and Dean gave me MAJOR feels throughout but totally worth it!

Also I don’t think this is my best work but I did my best

Warnings: Angst, swearing, angry!Dean (that’s a sexy warning) fluff, slight mention of sex but very light

Word Count: 2,752

Taglist requests are open!

Supernatural Masterlist| Masterlist of all Masterlists

You had been living and working with the Winchester Brothers for the past year after they called on you for a little help with a case. You knew their Dad sort of well at one point in time after he saved you from a rather sticky situation with a vengeful spirit. At the time, you were working late and had gotten off of work when the attack happened but it ended up working out where John came to your rescue and made sure you were okay until he moved on to his next case. However, before he left you, he called his sons and had them come and stay with you longer because you were injured. John Winchester was not a man who would stay behind for an extended period of time to help some civilian but what he failed to learn but Sam and Dean stuck around to learn, was you weren’t a civilian; you were a hunter too. When they got to your apartment that night, you threw them for a loop.

“So what did our Dad say attacked you?” Sam, the youngest brother you found out, asked you.

“He said some kind of mental subject high on meth or something? Some total bullshit if you ask me. I know I was attacked by a vengeful spirit,” you say nonchalantly.

Both brothers just gave you a bizarre look, like they were freaking out over how you knew what was going on. No one needed to lie to you because you were aware of what was happening and that was unusual to the brothers.

“Wait, our Dad told us you were a civilian?” The eldest brother, Dean, asked.

“Yes that’s what he told you but see boys, your Dad didn’t stick around me long enough to know the truth; I’m a hunter too. I guess it was pure luck your Dad was close by when I was attacked because I knew I was getting myself into some shady shit when I had to dig out some corpse to stop a track of killings in Tucson but I wasn’t expecting more than one spirit to be involved here,” you explain, smirking as the tension was drawn away from the brothers.

A big part of every hunter's existence was to keep the job a secret from civilians; no one usually believes you anyways. So always having to come with an excuse for what happened when civilians almost died is exhausting. Lucky for the Winchesters, they didn’t have to worry about lying with you. After staying with you for a few days to make sure nothing was still trying to come after you, it was Dean who decided to have you live with them. He insisted on it due to how severe your injuries were but it didn’t bother you; you liked his company. Not that he really took care of you, he was just concerned. It was Sam who really took the time to care for you and that was how you and he had gotten so close. In fact, you confided in Sam about everything that was going on in your life so when you started doubting your relationship a year later, you went to him.

“Hey Sam, I need your advice on something,” you asked, going to see him in the War Room. He was currently sitting at the Map table behind his laptop, looking intently at the screen in front of him.

“Hey (y/n) sure, what’s going on?” He asked, eyes leaving the screen and landing on you.

“Well it’s about my relationship,” you say and Sam grows more concerned.

“Dean’s not hurting you, is he?” He asks, jumping to one of the most extreme scenarios. You had started going out with Dean a few months after you

“No, no, of course not. He’s been nothing but a gentleman but something seems a bit off.”

You and Dean started dating a little while after you agreed to go with them on their hunts. It was actually really great and you liked him a lot, but lately, you began to question everything about your relationship.

“Off? Like how?” Sam asks, motioning for you to sit down across from him.

“Well, he uh, did something odd,” you say, a bit hesitant on sharing what happened.

“What did he do?” Sam pressed you.

“Well, uh, we were making out the other day and he said another girl's name,” you say, cheeks turning bright red but you knew you could trust Sam. He’s not the kind of guy to make fun of you or tease you that often; he was sweeter than that. Unlike his brother of course, who thrives off teasing you.

“Who’s name did he say?” Sam questioned.

“Cassie? I-I don’t know who she is or where that came from but it was weird. And when I confronted him about it, he blew me off and wouldn’t say anything about it. Not to mention, he won’t even come near me,” You explain everything that happened.

“Oh….shit,” Sam said, knowing exactly what was going on.

“Sam? Who-who’s Cassie?” You ask.

“Cassie was Dean’s, first love. He was crazy about her and we ran into her again about a year ago. She called him because her Dad was killed by some racist truck that was driven by another vengeful spirit,” Sam explained his brother’s odd behavior.

“Oh, well that explains a lot. He-he probably has been comparing me to her this whole time! And I think I’m failing,” you say, an expression of realization on your face.

“No (Y/N) that’s not…” Sam tried to call after you but you left the room and went out to the motel lobby.

“How can I help you?” The young girl behind the front desk asked you.

“Yes, I need to get a room. I’m not sure for how long yet but I can pay for one and I need one as far away from room 113 as possible,” You say, sliding the fake credit card over to the lady.

She quickly took down all your information and put it all through her computer, verifying you wanted a room farther away from Sam and Dean’s room, before she finalized a few things, sliding your card back to you and a room key, bidding you a ‘pleasant stay.’ You walked back to get your belongings from your shared room with the boys and before walking in the door, you scoped the surrounding area to ensure you wouldn’t run into either brother and when you were sure the coast was clear, you frantically start packing your bag, making sure to get in and get out as fast as possible. Zipping the bag, you scribble down a note to Dean, and set it on the table by the front door, and head out. Making your way to the opposite side of the property, you find your room, unlock it and let yourself into your new home for as long as you and the boys would be in town investigating.

Dean’s POV

“Hey (Y/N/N), Sam, where are you guys?” I called out for the others living in the room with me to see if someone could help me with these groceries and take out what I bought.

“Hey Dean, let me grab some of that for you,” Sam says, grabbing some of the bags out of my hands and placing them on one of the counters.

“Where’s (y/n)? She said she was getting hungry earlier and I got her favorite food,” I say, excited to surprise my girl.

“Um, she’s not here,” Sam says, a hint of hesitation in his voice.

“Well, where is she?” I ask.

“She left,” Sam kept his response short.

“Sam, I need a much better explanation than just that.”

“There’s a note for you on the table by the door,” he says, unloading the bags of groceries.

I walk back to the door and there is, in fact, a note with my name on the top.

Dean,

I think it’s best if we part ways for a while since...well you know what happened; the incident. I talked to Sam about it and he told me who she was. I get it, Cassie was your first love and after just seeing her recently and hooking up with her again, I’d probably say her name too.

I’m not mad, in fact, I understand. I just think it’s best we aren’t in a romantic relationship since you’re not over her. Makes me wonder if you’ve been comparing me to her this entire time and I believe I fell short. I did a search on her and she is stunning in every way and I simply am not.

I’ll stay to help you and Sam with the remainder of this case but afterward, I’ll head back home. I know this may seem surprising to you but ultimately, it'll be ideal for all involved.

-(Y/N)

“Son of a bitch!” I said, crumpling up the note and throwing it at the floor.

“What’s wrong, what did the note say?” Sam asked.

“She left me, Sam. We were making out the other day and I said Cassie instead of (y/n) and now she thinks I’m still hooked up on her and that I’ve been comparing her to Cassie this entire time!” I yell, throw punching the wall.

“Well, she couldn’t have gone too far, she hates being by herself,” he says, trying to add some comfort to the situation.

“I can’t believe she thinks I still give two shits about Cassie! I haven’t even thought about her in the last year except for that one time,” I say, feeling shitty about this whole thing. I should’ve been more careful and paid better attention to (y/n). She probably thinks I don’t even care about her at all since we’ve been so busy lately with this case.

“I gotta find her Sammy,” I say, feeling helpless about everything but I at least needed to get started finding her and explaining to her where I’m coming from.

“Let’s go up to the front desk and see if she left anywhere,” Sam suggests, making me remember why I’m lucky to have him. I wouldn’t have thought of that on my own.

We head up to the desk and are met with a girl who looks like she’s just fallen in love. Guessing she finds us attractive by the way her eyes travel up and down both of us.

“How can I help you, boys?” She asks, smirking at Sam.

“We’re looking for a girl, about yay high, (y/e/c), (y/h/c) she goes by the name (y/n/n)? Have you seen her anywhere?”

“Oh, she checked into another room,” the girl says and I sigh in relief; she’s still here.

“Great, what room is she in?” I ask.

“I can’t tell you that, Sir,” she says to me, rolling her eyes and popping a bubble with her gum.

“I’m Agent Ackles, this is my partner Agent Padalecki, (y/n/n) is our partner and we need to know her whereabouts as soon as possible. We believe she might be in danger,” I say, flashing my FBI badge, Sam following my lead, and the girl quickly jumps to the computer and pulls up your information.

“She checked into room 2 earlier this afternoon,” the girl says.

“Where is room 2?” Sam asks, knowing all the rooms we’ve seen have been in the hundreds.

“On the opposite side of the property; those are the single-digit rooms.”

“Thank you,” I say, folding the badge and putting it away.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Sam asks.

“Nah, I got this. I’m hoping to work this out with her and if we do well,” I say and smirk, Sam immediately knowing what I was implying.

“Right, well thanks for that. I’m going to head back to the room then and you just call if something doesn’t go as planned,” he says and heads back to our room.

I follow the directions the receptionist girl gave me and after a surprisingly long walk, I find room 2. That girl wasn’t kidding; it really was on the opposite side of the property. I go over to the door and raise my fist to knock, pausing just a moment to gather my thoughts before finally making contact with the door.

“Just a minute!” She calls from the other side of the door and then she goes quiet for a while. “What do you want, Dean?”

“Look (y/n) I got your note, can we talk about this please?” I say, almost pleading for her to open up.

“I don’t have anything more to say to you,” she says.

“But I have plenty! Come one (y/n/n) please, let me explain.” She opens the door and looks pissed off.

“And why would I do that?”

“Because you love me,” I test, knowing we haven’t said that to each other yet.

“And how do you know that?” I can tell she was affected by the comment but she kept fighting me.

“Because I know you and if you didn’t care anymore, you would’ve left.”

“Fine,” she says and steps aside, allowing me into the room.

“Look, (y/n) I’m sorry okay? I don’t know what happened that day. Maybe I was thinking about her subconsciously but I promise you, I am crazy about you and only you.”

“But you told her about our work; she obviously means a lot to you,”

“Meant a lot to me, yes, but YOU are the one who means more to me than, I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but more than Baby.”

Her head snapped over to look at me, she wasn’t expecting that one and neither was I.

“I mean more to you than your prized Baby?” She asks, cocking an eyebrow to see if there were any signs of deceit but I was sincere.

“Yes, sweetheart. You are my girl and I’m crazy about you. You’re the first person I want to see when I wake up in the morning and the last one I want to see before I fall asleep at night. I want to be there when you’re not feeling well so I can cuddle you and tickle you until you feel better again. I want to cook you meals and I want to be able to binge-watch Scooby-Doo with you. I want to play with your hair and see you fall asleep with your head in my lap because you’re so incredibly beautiful and I cannot believe you are mine. I am so sorry you thought you weren’t good enough for me or that I’ve been comparing you to Cassie this whole time because I haven’t been. I’ve been pinching myself every single day I see you and get to kiss you because I’m still thinking I’m going to wake up from a dream and it’ll all be gone. I hope that isn’t true and that this is all real. After all, I can’t imagine my life without you in it because I love you. That’s right, I love you (y/n) and I don’t care who knows it! I am so in love with you that I was going to go insane if I hadn’t told you,” I fully express all my feelings, in a non-Dean way.

She keeps quiet and just when I think the worst happens, she makes her way over to me and grabs my head, bringing my lips to hers in a kiss. Instinctively, I grab her hips, holding her tight, and push her against the nearest wall. She’s completely trapped as my lips make the kiss more passionate by traveling down to her neck and over the tops of her breasts that were kind of spilling over by her pajama tank top. Just before anything gets too heated, I pull away to make sure we were on the same page, that she was okay with whatever plans I had conjured in my head and when she didn’t seem to hesitate and she lifted her shirt over her head and threw it on the floor beside her, I knew she was all in. I’ll admit, I forgot what I was doing for a minute as I pictured her lying under me as I do some rather fun things to her, but she snaps me out of it and I go out to put a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door, slamming it and locking it behind me. Yep, she was my girl again.

Taglist: @calaofnoldor @thinkinghardhardlythinking @tloveswriting @akshi8278 @baby1967impala @deansmyapplepie @marvelfansworld @spnjediavenger

#dean winchester #dean #dean girls #dean girl #supernatural #dean x reader #dean x you #dean x y/n #requested #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural family #supernatural fandom

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straycat-writes · 4 years

Note

i saw that you write for ikemen vampire as well, so if it's alright with you i was wondering if you could write headcanons for mozart, vincent, comte, and arthur with a depressed/suicidal s/o who's main coping mechanism is humor? like they joke abt suicide a lot + make jokes abt feeling shitty when asked since they dont wanna worry anyone much but their jokes start getting increasingly concerning bc its smth i do a lot lol,, u dont need to do this if ur not comfortable.. thx and love your work!!

anon added: wait fuck i just remembered only three characters for headcanons so just do it for mozart, vincent, and arthur. thank u!

notes: Whaaat, come on, you cannot just do my husband dirty like that, of course I’ll do all four 😆 Before we begin, since everyone experiences stuff like this differently, our experiences might not be exactly the same, so these might not be universal. In any case, I hope you feel better 🥺💕

trigger warning(s): depression, mentions of suicide, and suicidal ideation.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

He did notice the jokes each time, but at first, he didn’t necessarily feel the need to intervene.

Once was alright, he thought you might just have a different sense of humor. Twice was morbid, but he brushed it off. But thrice was downright worrying, and he was starting to suspect something might be wrong.

He observed you make increasingly dark jokes for weeks on end, and brush off anyone who tried to ask you about them, before he decided that enough was enough.

“What is wrong with you?”

It’s a blunt question, completely tactless, but only because he’s actually quite concerned and doesn’t how else to put it. Nonetheless, it catches you off-guard.

“What do you mean?”

He rolls his eyes, “Don’t play dumb with me, (y/n). Have you been spending too much time with shitty Dazai again?”

When you don’t say anything, the scowl on his face melts into a concerned frown. He wants to help, he really does, but it’s hard for someone like him to deal with such heavy feelings, whether his own or someone else’s. After all, words have never been his preferred medium of expression.

So, he decides not to use them. Instead, he envelopes you in a long, silent hug. It’s a little stiff, but when you start crying softy on his shoulder, he gives in and pulls you even closer, gently stroking your hair.

Up until then, you had no idea that the stern, ice-cold Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart could ever feel so…familiarly warm and soft, with his arms around you.

“I’m not asking you to confess anything, (y/n). I’m not even asking you to tell me anything. I…actually have no idea how to fix any of this, but…Just…know that you don’t have to deal with this on your own.”

Vincent van Gogh

Out of everyone, it would probably take Vincent the least time to notice when something is wrong with you.

The morbid humor is one thing, but what really concerns him is how hollow your laugh has started to sound, and the glazed…empty look you get in your eyes when you think no one is looking.

He notices because he knows what to look for, because he has already seen too much of it, in himself.

“(Y/n), sweetheart, are you okay?”

“Hm? Yes, of course, Vincent. Why do you ask?”

“…Why do you think?”

There is a certain look in his eyes, so wistfully sad, as if mourning something he hasn’t even lost yet, and you just know that he knows. There is no use lying to him. In hindsight, you think, you should have known you could hide it from anyone except him.

When a lone tear slips down your cheek, he gently wipes it away and holds your face with both hands, looking into your eyes. To your surprise, and immense pain, his own are glistening with tears too.

“Why didn’t you say anything to me?”

“…Because it’s my problem and I didn’t want to drag you down with me.”

You realize it doesn’t make much sense now when you say it out loud, but you knew he was all too familiar with this complete and utter despair, this emptiness you felt inside of yourself, and you never wanted him to feel it again, even if it was by proxy.

But now, he stands in front of you, hands on either side of your face, and he places a chaste, gentle kiss on your forehead. He doesn’t say anything, but you realize what he means. I’m here. I understand. You’re not alone.

(note: for those who don’t know, Vincent van Gogh committed suicide at the age of thirty-seven.)

Le Comte de Saint-Germain

He is used to the residents of his mansion having…strange sense of humor and habits, honestly.

Even so, when you make a jest about killing yourself for the fifth time in a row, he can’t help but be worried. There are only two explanations, you either just have a very, very dark idea of humor, in which case there was nothing much he could do except gentle advisory, or there was indeed something very wrong.

He keeps hoping it’s not the latter, but days pass and your jokes keep getting more and more morbid, and any attempts to talk to you about the issue are only met with smooth elusiveness.

“I’m only kidding, Comte. Of course, I’m not going to throw myself off the roof. Probably.”

“…I think we need to talk, ma cherie.”

That sentence in itself is enough to scare anyone half to death, and when you have so much to hide, even more so.

The talk is long and tedious, with quite a lot of repressed emotions involved. On your part, first there is the defensive anger. Of course, there isn’t anything wrong, how dare he imply otherwise? Then there is the desperate denial, because ‘ignore the problem until it goes away’, right? Except, this problem isn’t going away on its own, and you both know that.

Finally, there is the reluctant acceptance, and a lot of crying. Throughout this, he is as calm and collected on the outside as he always is, even when you grip the front of his coat and cry in his embrace. You’re barely holding yourself together, so he needs to be your support.

But on the inside, there is a storm raging. You were supposed to be his responsibility. He was the one who brought you here, and he was just watching you wither away like this in front of his eyes? What kind of a person did that make him? Just how much of a failure is he?

“I’m so sorry for not noticing sooner, ma cherie. I have failed you.”

“Wh-what?”

“I was supposed to protect you from everything, including yourself. Evidently, I have failed at that, and my heart aches at the thought of you suffering all on your own. But I intend to rectify my fault a thousand times over.”

You stare up at him with wide eyes, and without a warning, more tears spill.

Arthur Conan Doyle

Peculiar taste of humor is kind of Arthur’s brand. He enjoys his shamelessly perverted jokes, so he assumed you enjoy your dark ones.

Even so, he does get a little worried when he notices how your first instinct to almost anything is self-deprecation and jokes about killing yourself at the slightest provocation, and how you laugh a little too loud and too much when asked about any of it.

The more he notices, the more concerned he gets, and the more confused about just what to do about it.

At first, he tries to deflect your morbid jokes with some of his own, just to see how you would react. But the moment he talks of killing himself, you go pale, asking him to stop with such distress in your voice that he ends up feeling guilty.

But even after that, it doesn’t stop you from doing it yourself.

“Welp, guess I’ll just go drown in a river somewhere.”

“Ahahaha, but consider this, how about you…don’t?”

He’s always so playful, and even fickle that it almost slips your mind that he is a writer, after all, and a very observant one at that. He is intelligent and notices every little thing, even if he doesn’t show it. That includes the fact that your laugh has been sounding more and more empty lately, your smile seeming more and more like fake plastic.

So, when he confronts you about it, it takes you by surprise.

“Whatever do you mean, Arthur? I’m fine.”

“Right…Stop lying to me, (y/n).”

You frown. You should have known how hard it would be to hide anything from Arthur for too long. How long did you really think you could keep up this façade? The realization comes like a slap to the face, and it’s almost like your metaphorical mask drops. You start crying.

He is distressed at the sudden turn of events, but tries his best to console you. As he hugs you to his chest, gently rubbing soothing circles on your back, he wonders if he could have done something to help you sooner.

“Listen, sweetheart. I don’t claim to know what you’re going through, but I do know that you need help. I know I cannot just fix whatever…this is, but I can promise that I’m going to be here with you, through everything”

You laugh bitterly, “It gets ugly.”

“I don’t care.” He shakes his head, “I’m going to be here with you, whether you want me to be or not, and I promise to hold you together as you scream your throat raw trying to hold yourself together, promise to…stand by you as you save yourself. You do not have to do this alone.”

He kisses you softly, only for a moment, soft and true on the lips.

“Show me every dark and hideous, every bitter thing about your soul…and then, let me love you anyway.”

#wolfgang amadeus mozart #vincent van gogh #le comte de saint germain #arthur conan doyle #mozart x reader #vincent x reader #saint germain x reader #arthur x reader #ikevamp x reader #ikemen vampire #headcanons #imagines

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rip-a-dip-dip-you-potato-chip · 3 years

Text

what have I created?

idk if yall like this, but they just exist not i guess :/

ok the the first one is Royalty AU

first things first, when I say Royalty AU, I don't mean the classic shit we've all become accustomed to. Im talking about the good old Chinese royalty! And I want to emphasize that these guys will/should be dressed in century appropriate attire. As someone thats read a handful of 'marinette, princess of china' fics from the ML Fandom, I've noticed a common trend. Marinette wouldn't be in the culturally appropriate clothes, always ballgowns. Not that there's something wrong with it, its just most of if not all these fic are set in China, so I'd expect Chinese royalty to dress as THERE dress code calls for. And since this AU takes place far in the past like, it won't make sense for any of the characters to be in royal clothing that wasn't from there region. I'm not trying to white knight/gatekeeping. Im Guyanese not Chinese. But since JTTW and Monkie Kid take place in China, it's only right. In my opinion that it. You don't have to outright agree with me.

With out of the way, it's time for that good old AU crack

- Wukong is the king of the Flower Fruit kingdom(or a different one if you'd like, again I'm only familiar with what western culture has taught me, but I'll try my hardest)

- he’s single but rumor has it he used to/still is dating the Vigilante/thief The Six Eared Macaque

- *chants ShadowPeach violently*

- no one know whether it true or not

- On of his wanders around the kingdom he finds an abandoned baby in a basket.

- and no shit sherlock it's fucking baby Xiaotian

- I think we all know where this is going because i'm a simp for Monkey Dad & Monkie Son shenanigans

- Xiaotian becomes prince

Shit, ill be referring to Xiaotian as Mk from now on, I mentioned this before in a fic I wrote for lmk that Mk's a nickname for Xiaotian for some reason- wait i don't have to explain my self to you people!

- Sun loves his son

- MK is treated differently by staff and others because he's not blood related to the king

- no one mistreats MK per say, because there King loved his adopted son, but words are said behind his back

- Sometimes MK hears what’s said, and he feels as if he won't live up to his dad’s legacy.

- He meets Mei during a festival

- Mei is from a noble family, that wouldn't mind if they got a connection into the royal family.

- but it becomes hella clear to Mei’s family very fast that the two are just friends, and will always will be. but hey there daughter is bffs with the prince so that's a plus.

- the Demon Bull Family is rules a kingdom as well, I dont/am not creative enough to think of a name I leave that to you.

- It's a common misconception that DBK is a tyrant, when he’s not.

- most of the time...

- they have been at war with the Monkey King for some time now and settled for a peace agreement.

- that agreement being there sons to marry

- oooo original i know

- MK and Red Son are roughly the same age, Mk being 20 and RS 22

- RS is revolted/disgusted at the idea of being wed to the Monkey Kings child, even more so when he realizes MK is adopted,

- but, that all changes the second he meets MK while he meets him by accident when he gets kinda lost in the palace when he and his parents go to discuss the arrangements.

- the second he looks at MK, he's instantly in love. MK less so, he's nervous and honestly kinda bummed he's not marrying someone he loves but it's for the good of his ppl, and he'll do anything for them.

- RS isn't even aware that MK is Suns adopted son until MK walks him back to the meeting room.

"Oh There you are MK! I was about to have a servant go fetch you!" Sun Wukong says, gesturing for his boy to come sit with him.

"S-sorry for keeping you waiting I got caught up in my lessons with Mr. Tang" MK responds, sitting next to his father. Red Son looked gobsmacked. The beautiful young man he had bumped into, was the prince of this land? Damn, life truly blessed him. Or cursed him depending on how you looked at it.

- the two are left alone in a separate room for a while.

- And MK straight up tells RS why he's agreeing to this union.

"Look Red Son. I've dreamed about meeting my one true love for a while. And I would give almost anything for that dram to be real. But I wouldn't ever dare give up my people, for as there price they mean more to me. I'm doing this for them, no other reason" MK says, his back straight and hands folded neatly in his lap. The look in his eyes was a mix of sadness, but that was drowned out by loyalty and determination. It just made Red Son fall for him even harder. Clearing his throat Red spoke.

"I understand, for im doing this for the betterment of my people to. But I propose a wager"

"A wager?"

"Yes, if i can make you fall in love with me by years end, before our marriage, we can live together like in the fairy tales from far away. But if I fail, in a years time afterwards you will be permitted to find your own path in life" Red Son stated. MK took a moment to process what was happening.

"So, if you succeed in making me fall in love with you, before our marriage we can live happily ever after?" Red Son nodded in response, letting the younger continue.

"And if I shouldn't fall for you, in a years time after our union, im free to leave?" Red Son nodded once more.

"So, what do you say?"

...

"Deal"

In the end, your free to choose their fate, should Red Son win the hart of Mk? Will he fail? Or will he let him go, and let him travel the country, after all Mk's a free spirit and keeping him trapped in a big house is like keeping a cannery trapped in a cage only for its song, only for it to dul. Or will the unthinkable happen and will both boys find their freedom? together or appart? I don't know, because that's all up to you 😉

personally, I’m partial to where MK and Red Son both find freedom together. Like they straight up run away together to somewhere far away and just live out there lives together.

this could also be genderbent thing as well. MK or Red as their respective counterparts. Again it doesn't have to be, but it’s whatever bro. im just spitting out the idea.

Also, there is a main side plot that they fight the WBS throughout the year as well, along with other shenanigans you wanna throw in.

____

The second is a My Hero Academia/BNH/MHA AU

truth be told i'm not a big fan of MHA i think it to over hyped(this is also coming from the same person that’s a Fairy Tail fan lol), and the fandom i don't even know how to describe that mess, but I will admit not the whole of its toxic since every fandom has some toxic members, some even more so.

I just sometimes find myself enjoying MHA AUs like the Fullmetal Alchemist, Danny Phantom, Evil!Deuk AU and several others.

to make it clear I don't see this AU taking place the same time as the main plot of the actual Anime/Manga. This could be either like 6-10 years before or after the plot idk bro. But i’ll do this after the main story plot of MHA, so keep that in mind ya? another thing, the gang is still in China, the top hero school in the world just so happens to be in Japan, and it’s only ever mentioned by Sun wukong and other pro heros. So MK never attended AU. in short it’s only ever mention/ reference.

- Mk was considered Quirkless as a kid.

- he was just a late blumer, i swear

- Mai’s Quirk is called Dragon.

- it pretty much works the same way as it does in the show(duh)

- Tang’s got a knowledge Quirk,

- my man can retain information and he’s basically an archive of information drawback being his personality lol

- Piggsy is a Animal that gained a Quirk

- in cannon to my current knowledge, there are two other characters that can confirm animals can become sentient. the characters being Fumikage Tokoyami, & Nezu the principal at the school UA.

- Sandy is just Conner Kent, aka he like superman but can't fly, or shoot lasers from his eyes. And blue.

I have two scenarios for Macaque and Wukong

*- The first one is that, Sun Wukong & Macaque are brothers. twins to be exact.

- they where legit people, but have mutation quirks that made them too like monkeys.

- the added powers were just a boues.

- Sun and Mac are close growing up, like there brothers but also best friends.

- the draw back to there quirks could honestly be whatever you want bro idk, same with the others tbh. Personally I like to think Sun just has lack of motivation, and Macaque needs to draw on other people's energy.

- Sun is a hero, Monkey KIng and Mac is a villain Six Eared.

- Sun was always treated has the golden child in the family, Mac always resented that, but there shitty up bring didn’t stop the two from being good brothers to one another.

- soon tho the resentment became hatred when Sun was able to attend UA in Japan, while Mac didn't.

- Mac be angy

- so he became a villain, and joined the Chinese branch of the LOV(league of villains)

- Sun doesn't know this till he finds out during the all out war during the main story. and by that time he’s a full on hero with is own agency(The Flower Fruit agency)

- when the hero's ultimately win and Mac is arrested

- This ultimately hurts Sun a lot, his brother was in jail now, arrested for his involvement and wrong doings, he knew nothing about this! this brother, his blood. A bad guy? why? he hadn't seen his brother since he left for UA, he hadn’t seen him when he came home, and started his agency.

- this just puts Sun into a funk so he’s not as active as he used to be, and he starts thinking he might need a successor

*- The second one is that they were two separate people that had similar quirks and both attended UA but Sun ended up in the hero corse. so 1A.

- Both Macaque and Sun have similar quirks, Sun’s is obviously more light based while Macaque’s is more shadow based(this applies to the first one as well)

- Macaque was placed in class 1B, U.A.’s High's Heroics Department, I believe, you can correct me.

- In cannon Class 1A and 1B both went to the training camp. I can see the teachers pinning Sun and Macaque against each other to hone their skills.

- And because of that they become great friends

- In fact when they graduate they both co-found there hero agency together in China and are a duo.

- But due to Monkey King’s popularity and Six Eared's association with shadows(people sometimes saying he has more of a villains quirk than a heros) the public see’s Macaque as Sun’s sidekick when thats far from the truth.

- now it’s up to you whether you think that Wukong and Macaque would be in a relationship together, but knowing how cooked we all are, ShadowPeach is a thing here more than likely.

- If you do or don’t support/ like the ShadowPeach aspect, the two would be living together regardless since its more cost efficient.

- They my be heroes but living costs are expensive!

- I would imagine there would have been a huge fight/argument between the two in privet of course, at there home.(or in there shared office if you want the extra angst of the other people they work with hearing them fight)

- If the two are dating, then this would either lead to an out right breakup, or Macaque just up and leaving with Wukong thinking he’ll come back once he’s cooled off. But after a week, with no sign of his partner, or him answering texts or calls, not even coming into work. Wukong gets worried that something might have happened to him. so there wouldn't be a confirmation if they were still a thing or not.

- But Wukong remains hopeful, despite the nagging at the back of his head, and gut telling him to go find Macaque, or atleast make a public statement, or even just tell another pro hero about it.

- on the not so shippy side, Macaque and Wukong still have there argument, and much like the ShadowPeach esc side, Macaque up and leaves, and isn't seen for weeks. the only difference here is that when Wukong comes home one night to there flat, most if not all of Macaques stuff is gone.

- where as if this was the ShadowPeach side, Macaque leaves all of his possession in the flat he and wukong share. for the simple reason being, he still loves him and wants to go back, but Macaque being Macaque can’t bring himself to do it, especially after seeing just how hurt Wukong looked when he yelled at him just before he left.

- in other words, ANGST DIALED UP TO A 10 BABY

- in either case, its a news report that confirms Wukong's suspicions that he desperately didn’t want to believe, and that is Macaque turning into a villain.

- much like if the two were brothers, Wukong just can’t take it and is no longer as active as he once was, and is thinking about, either A) Retirement B) Saying, “Fuck Society, Be Gay Do Crime” and join Macaque as a villain himself, or C) find a successor, and a way to bring Macaque back to there side, but most importantly, back to him.

- also extra points if you're after people's hearts and want to make them suffer; - If there dating, Wukong curle’s up in the bed he and Macaque shared, holding/wearing something of great value to Macaque and just crying himself to sleep, where as Macaque is getting wasted on alcohol, as he stumbles out of the bar he’s in, he either see’s something that reminds him of Wukong or while he’s trying to put his wallet back into his pocket, a photo of them on their first date fall’s out. and Macaque just cries in a nearby alley way. And it’s there where he gets indoctrinated into the League.

- If there just friends, macaque heads to the nearest forest and just levels it, where as Wukong just gets engrossed into his work, trying not to think about it. you could add you own spin on this, again i'm just spitballing.

- NOW BACK TO MK! :D

- Obviously MK is a huge Monkey King fan

- at Twenty MK has come to terms he's quirkless (HE’S NOT)

-for ANGST reasons MKs fokes kicked him out at this realization at 13.

- he works at Piggsy's Noodle shop, and has been since he was 14.

- don't need a quirk to drive or cook!

- the boy lives a content life with his new family, till DBK happens :D

- DBK runs a Mafia(in conjunction with TLOV) and has been in jail for like 5 years thanks to Monkey King, PIF and RS brake him out one night when MK's out making a late night delivery since Piggsy had the bright idea to go 24/7 service!

- one thing leads to another and Mk somehow manifest what looks like the Monkey King's staff, but its not, it’s MKs powers, it just so happens to be the same power the Monkey King has. And it practically goes down the same way in the pilot.

- but unlike the pilot Mk and Mei go straight to the FF Agency, after making a panicked call to Pigsy and Tang.

- one way or another Mk are lead into Wukongs office. Mei being forced to stay in the lobby.

- they have there convo, butterfly monkey squishing included.

- "And so, I want you do be my success-" BOOM 💥

- from there they rush downstairs and see that the lobby has been infiltrated by the DB fam, and you know fight.

- once the DB family seems like there down, PIF wisks them away. Much to Monkey King’s displeasure.

From there stuff kind plays out like cannon, the calabash ep is just a conjoint quirk the Demon bros have. As for EP9, ill have to script that one out myself lol. I'll get onto it as soon as my will to commit stabs me in the face. Till then have a dancing Kermit the frog.

Now if you'll excuse me, am about to Kermit a felony :D

(For legal reasons thats a joke)

Psst @writingamongther0ses its done

#lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lego monkie kid au #rip a dip dip wrights

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frangstfontaine · 4 years

Text

Hello fellow bioshockers (can’t help being cringe, sorry), I know I’ve not really been gone or anything but I’ve been getting progressively worse at being present and responsive since probably the tail-end of 2019. I’m not bold enough to assume you’ve noticed, but I thought I’d spill my guts anyway because it’s super rude of me to kinda just creep about on here being as socially constipated as I have been and not explaining myself. Even ruder that I always talk about improving on this but never change.

I hope this turns out comprehensible because I’m just gonna type this out without overthinking for once :’’’D

I’ll try to keep this short and sweet lol (won’t happen). I’ve got a big ol’ case of social anxiety that somehow got worse online than it ever was in real life. This is probably because it’s so much easier to overthink when interacting with people online because you get the chance to overthink before you press send or post. This is more relevant on this account than my others, because the bioshock community is just so lovely and nice enough to send me hilarious and interesting and thought-provoking asks (which I love so so so much), and I inflict this irrational pressure on myself to answer with something interesting in return. And because of this I end up thinking too much and leaving it too late to answer, when really just an acknowledgement that i’ve read and thought about what you’ve said would probably suffice. Would be a lot less shitty of me than just not answering at all.

All this has gotten to the point where I’m filled with dread and guilt whenever I post something and usually end up deleting 5 mins later to ease my mind. Which I know rationally is silly. It’s just a post that people will either read or scroll past and get on with whatever else theyre doing.

I also have this terrible mentality where I believe that eventually anyone who interacts with me enough will start to hate me or I’ll bore/annoy them and become a bother and I don’t want to ruin the friendship I have with them,,, like I want to freeze the relationship at the point it is at and never taint it. But that just means I ruin potential friendships because I just don’t give anything to work with. But at the same time I love socialising, I love what you guys have to say you’re all so funny and clever! I wish I could know you without you having to know me but that’s not how interaction works and it’s selfish of me to want that. I don’t know why I’m like this when everyone on here has been nothing but supportive (aside from the people who called me a fascist for drawing fontaine but that’s a story for another time)

In the past this is something I could keep on top of, but since the end of 2019 things in my family life got hard to cope with, but necessarily, I think (there’s comfort in that) and that became more urgent than anything else. But recently, something happened that shocked and scared me enough to bring me back down to earth, and all my previous worries seem so trivial now. Like, why the hell am I so scared of logging into a tumblr account? Why am I ruining something that I enjoy and brings me a lot of comfort in these trying times? I know this sounds silly and I don’t mean to make what happened about me or my fuckin bioshock blog lol. It’s just that comfort is really important and we should indulge in it where possible.

Also, I miss the fuck out of everyone on here.

Anyway, sorry about this big boohoo essay amidst worldwide struggle. I also just want to mention that despite my blubbering you don’t have to walk on eggshells around me. You can be as mean and sarcastic to me as you want, I won’t take that as you hating me. In fact, I’d take that as a sign that you feel comfortable enough to be mean and sarcastic with me which is great! :’’D

Ok, I’m done talking now… I don’t know how to end,,, uh, peace out? (wtf I never say that)

TLDR:

#aaaaaaaagh post #not bioshock #ramblings

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hollyand-writes · 4 years

Note

Just wanted to say that I saw your post about Blond Boy Romance discourse and wanted to thank you for such a succinct write-up about Anders. I got into the fandom in late 2019 and i was SO confused about this huge gap in art and fic. Like, dead links and missing blogs and deleted posts. And I couldn’t figure out what happened because no one was talking about it, and I’m very shy after a mess in my last fandom. So...yeah. Thank you for writing that up, it’s nice to finally know what happened even though it’s really depressing. Also, thanks for staying in this fandom. You’re a wonderful example to others and an amazing creator.

Hello wanderingnork, and a very belated welcome to the fandom! 🙌🏾 Well. Welcome to what’s left of the fandom anyway LOL ❤️

Thanks so much for reaching out and sending me this really kind ask message (the post being referred to is my addition/reblog here) but yeah, I guess for those who weren’t in Dragon Age 2 fandom or the Anders side of fandom between December 2017—July 2018 you wouldn’t have seen how horrifying the bullying got. I’ve seen at least 3 people who aren’t friends with me reblog my post saying that what I described was why they themselves quit DA fandom or the Anders side of fandom too.

And those are the Anders fans who DIDN’T delete their Tumblr blogs. Obviously the ones who DID delete and/or quit aren’t here to confirm that they, too, quit over that Anders wank in 2018.

The worst of it was that the wank was started entirely by a group of Anders fans who – to my knowledge – still see themselves as the real victims to this day, even though they only stopped their callout posts and bullying (both in public and behind the scenes in private) when they learned that the Anders fanartist they were bullying was considering taking legal action. (You KNOW things are bad when fandom wank gets so bad that it becomes actual harassment that breaks the law.) And like I said, they posted some pretty shitty things about those of us who were friends with this artist too, causing many of us to block them.

They backtracked like fuck in July 2018, but after seven months (maybe more?) of constantly bullying this one popular Anders fanartist (who’d repeatedly apologised, deleted the NSFW sideblog AND the offending art, and posted how the whole thing had driven that artist to a breakdown and suicidal thoughts), maybe it should never have got that far?

I don’t know how active they are in DA fandom now – but I DO know one of them notoriously posted that us blocking them was “bullying”, and that “bullying is child abuse” for “children” like themselves... despite the fact that they admitted they were 23 and therefore were very much not a fucking minor or child. (They had a lot to say about how WE should have been responsible for their “online safety” as well, and that Anders was their “comfort character” whom they only wanted to see sweet fluff content for, and they regularly triggered themselves by searching out Anders content that was less than fluffy or sweet to complain about on their blog. Not to mention how many of us queer POC Anders creators in our 20s and 30s – including the Anders artist they bullied – were accused of being “white” and “boomer-passing” for defending Anders content they didn’t like LMAO)

I’m so sorry to hear about the huge gap in art and fic you experienced on coming in to Tumblr Dragon Age fandom, but given how many creators took one look at the bullying and thought “fuck this, I’m leaving” and either deleted their blogs or Anders posts/fic/art/meta or simply left for kink-friendlier fandoms, I am honestly not surprised to hear this. I am also sorry to hear that there was a mess in your last fandom too; and I hope that this fandom is better to you.

Dragon Age fandom is a difficult fandom to be in, but trust me when I say there are lots of good people in it. They’re just harder to find, and often they’re not as prominent or in-your-face as the nastier types. But I know they’re there because I’ve found them, and I treasure them, and I’ve been here since 2014.

I think really all we can do is block the haters as much as possible, and carry on creating whatever the fuck we like – and tagging appropriately. I learned my lesson from that wank in 2018: if someone(s) is really determined to destroy you and just wants you gone, there is no apology or deletion you can give that will be good enough. Besides, there are so many problematic themes and content in Dragon Age canon that I don’t think it’s reasonable to ask creators to completely shy away from exploring those if they want to, or from making OCs that mirror a canon character’s traumatic background, or from writing/drawing canon characters as anything less than healthy and wholesome and pure (which NONE of them are in canon, anyway) – especially if it’s tagged and warned for.

I mean... we all paid Bioware to purchase and play this 18+ game with its uncomfortable, difficult and sometimes problematic themes and content. I feel that if the Dragon Age franchise was so terrible and traumatic and problematic for someone when playing, then I do question why they joined the fandom afterwards. And I don’t think the onus should fall solely on fandom creators – who are doing this for free, unpaid, in our spare times – to create perfect, unproblematic, wholesome content that just wasn’t in the games themselves. Different people have different definitions of what is “perfect”, “unproblematic” or “wholesome” anyway.

(On that last point: look at how the people behind The Mess callout tried to accuse people of being racist for romancing Cullen with pale-skinned Lavellans; back in 2016/2017 you got accused of being racist for romancing Cullen with darker-skinned Lavellans. How times have changed 🤔 There’s a LOT of content in this fandom that I don’t like, or that squicks/repulses me, but as long as it’s tagged in a way that I can avoid it, I’m not gonna police what people create. And if there’s one thing I’ve noticed the Dragon Age fandom IS very good about doing, it’s that most people are careful about handling problematic topics and content in a sensitive way. So that’s not a thing I worry about.)

Anyway. I’m rambling. But yeah, that recap of 2018 (which several people have confirmed is true now) sums up why there is such a huge gap in Anders fanart and fic, and is why very few people create Anders content anymore – I know I myself abandoned a Garrett Hawke/Anders longfic in 2018 because I didn’t want to create for Handers fans if the only ones around were bullies who believed they were victims. But it’s been well over 2 years now, so.... I might get back to writing that fic. The Gym AU is still very much alive in my brain 👀

So! That’s what happened... but despite everything I want to emphasise that there IS much good in this fandom, even if it’s harder to find among all the shit there is 💩 and that I hope your stay here is a good one. Thank you so much for saying you think I’m a wonderful example to others and an amazing creator, though! ❤️ I don’t know how many people will agree, but I do try!

But yeah, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from being here since 2014 – and from surviving several attempts to run me out of fandom (including for having an elf/human OTP) and off this platform – it’s this: The people change, and the characters and subjects being wanked over change, but fandom wank itself never ever changes.

#wanderingnork #replies #also #tagging this as #anders #fandom wank #fandom critical #long post

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horanghaechan · 4 years

Text

Freedom (Johnny) - final

pairing: Demon!Johnny x Dancer!You (female character)

word count: around 6k

synopsis: After dancing at NCT’s party and having a private session with Johnny, you find yourself in a different situation.

Inspired by Freedom - Kris Wu ft Jhené Aiko.

(Part 1 here)

[a/n]: i actually had a side-blog once and posted it there but i got author’s block and deleted everything. anyway, i’m rather proud of this scenario so i decided to post it again lol

You say you want some freedom You ain't got a leash on, you ain't coming home But where you wanna go You already know We can blow a creeper on the low I’ll be on my throne Tryna take it slow Guess you can control, let's play

On rainy days, Y/N would rant about having to go to college in such a weather, then she would eat a schwarma and watch a good “Vines Compilation” until her mood was slightly better. Chances were that, if the “Bewitched boy vine” or the Mexican kid screaming "Alguien se comió mi torta” were in them, she’d smile.

However, since Johnny Seo happened, Y/N didn’t do any of that.

And that was three months ago.

“You’re really refusing a ride for college in this shitty weather?!” Yuta rolled his eyes.

“I’m refusing dying for a second time, Yuta.” Y/N chuckled.

“I won’t pick you up if the storm gets stronger, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know.” She opened the door of her apartment. “Before you leave, turn the lights off.”

“Why don’t you move back to our house?”

“Because I can’t stand Youngho.” Y/N quipped. “Don’t forget the lights, dear!”

“I’ll pick you up at 9PM, college’s main door. One minute late and you’ll go back home all alone and in the rain.” Yuta yelled while she was leaving.

“Thank you.” She grinned, knowing he would always play hard to get.

Later that night…

When Johnny heard a loud – excited – scream coming from Lucas, he knew she was there. It took her almost two months to come back... But who was counting, huh?

He pushed the girl out of his lap and barely looked at her while he dressed back.

“You gotta leave.”

“What?” The blonde beauty glared at him, shocked.

“You gotta leave. I need to address to an important matter right now.”

“B-but you said you didn’t have any business today!”

“Turns out I do.” He sighed. “Hurry up, I’ll escort you to the door.”

The girl pouted, but it didn’t make him change his mind. His attention drifted to the new female demon that had entered his property, the one that made his blood boil. He checked himself in the big mirror, feeling extremely hypnotising and sensual. Obviously, Y/N would pretend not to feel a thing, but he wanted her to be a bit shaken by his appearance. They didn’t part in good terms, so Johnny decided to give her a sample of the life she lost by gently telling him “to fuck off” and storming out of the room like a crazy ex-girlfriend. While closing his door, he made sure the sound was loud. When he walked to the stairs, he could hear Taeyong and Yuta saying something about ‘kitchen’ and there was a small silence. Perfect for his dramatic entrance.

Y/N looked up to the foyer at the sound of steps, her insides tightening at the sight of Seo Youngho. Then, right behind him, there was a tall, golden-haired lady that looked like a model.

“Cassiopeia is leaving.” Johnny announced in that hypnotic voice of his.

“I thought she had just arrived?!” Lucas frowned.

“Turns out she has some stuff to do.”

The girl looked so offended by his remark but didn’t object to any of it.

“Oh, ok then.” Lucas shrugged. “Y/N, Doyoung and I are going up to play some games, she’ll sleep over. Yuta and Tae are cooking dinner. Wanna join us?”

“Yes.” He shook his head. “Bye, Cassiopeia.”

And without a word, he left her alone in the staircase. She made an ‘I’m offended’ sound and came to the main floor, looking at Y/N and Lucas in pure annoyance.

“Johnny said he didn’t have anything to do, but then he kicks me out… What is happening, Lucas?” She inquired, trying to pout cutely.

“How would I know that, dear?” Lucas ventured, dismissing her with a soft grin. “C’mon Y/N, I’ve bought the French deck so you can teach me that truco game.”

Truco is a card game for two, four or six players, who shout a lot and make signs to tell their partner what cards they had. It’s a popular game in Latin American countries, with some regional differences, but funny either way. She was used to play that with her friends, Inez being the one that taught them how to. Since she couldn’t see the girls ever so often, Y/N decided that she would teach the boys, so whenever she felt like playing, she’d have company.

When Lucas opened his bedroom door, Johnny was there – his silky black hair parted in the middle and the white button-up shirt with the three first ones unbuttoned. Y/N felt as if she was punched in the stomach, his beauty too much for her own good.

“What are we playing?” Johnny asked.

“Nothing.” She replied. “Actually, I’ll go to the kitchen to help Yuta and Taeyong.”

“Are you really going to run away every time we meet?” Johnny pouted. “I didn’t take you as a coward, mei fortuna.”

“And I didn’t take you as a joke, Youngho, but look at where we are now?!” She spat.

“Ok, I’m gonna get Doyoung and when I come back, I want everyone behaving politely and pretending to be friends, huh?!” Lucas spoke slowly, as if he was talking to small, naughty children.

He left the room, closing the door with a dry sound. Y/N sighed, throwing herself on his bed and facing the ceiling in a stupid attempt to ignore the male demon.

“So, how’s life?” Johnny tried going for a small talk.

“Pretty good.” Y/N muttered. She intended to sound rude.

“Did Yuta tell you about the party this weekend?”

“He did, yes.”

“You coming?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe.” She looked at her nails, pretending to be uninterested.

“You can’t possible think about living only with your friends’ sins, Y/N. What if they notice you’re always the reason they start gossiping?”

“I don’t live off of only gossips. People commit sins every hour, duh.”

“You manipulate them to commit small sins, then?” Johnny laughed. “That isn’t enough.”

“Well, you should’ve thought better before ruining my life and turning me into a demon. I prefer doing things this way, it’s easier and doesn’t make my conscience ashamed.”

“Are you kidding me? You make your friends sin! What type of conscience is that?”

“And what about you? Do you even have one? You, I quote again, ruined my fucking life!”

“Aw, don’t be petty. At least I did it for myself and never pretended to have done with for something or someone else.” The corner of his mouth quirked up and she rolled her eyes.

What was she expecting, to begin with? That he killed her to save his friends?! To save the world?! Ha, ha.

“See? And I’m doing this for myself too.”

“You won’t be powerful enough if you keep doing it.”

“I don’t intend to be powerful enough.”

“Are you sure?” Youngho tilted his head to the side, only the tiniest bit, but it drove her crazy. That horrible man was so sarcastic and so arrogant… Ugh! She wanted to choke him!

Doyoung walked in with Lucas, automatically putting an end to their discussion.

“Let the games begin!” He shouted happily.

Y/N really tried not to get affected by Johnny’s presence, but it was impossible. She couldn’t stop remembering everything. Every fucking thing.

The tension when they met, how she was so hypnotised by him at first glance. Her dance and his eyes on her all the time. When they flirted. When she rejected him. The lap dance. When they kissed. When they fucked and how amazing, ethereal, unique that was… Then she died because of him. Fuck, it was so hard to accept the truth! Only being able to live because she took advantage of others and made them sin… She even brought her loved ones into the mess! What kind of disgusting creature would even do that?

But demons were like that and the faster she learned to deal with it, the better.

Also, there was one more thing bothering her: if she hadn’t arrived, Johnny would’ve slept with that Cassiopeia girl… Right? She said he kicked her out when they arrived.

Y/N felt the need to vomit.

“You seem a bit off, dear.” She was surprised by Doyoung’s soothing voice and the petname. Normally, Lucas was the one to be affectionate (and caring).

“I’m tired from college, so I can’t get into my competitive mode and make the game funnier.”

“How many months until it ends?”

“Two, thank God.” She chuckled, earning three smirks in response.

“You’re really a believer now.” Johnny teased her, knowing she would get annoyed.

“I actually had no other option.” Y/N’s tone was dry and she refused to look at him.

“Well, I’m sure the supper is almost ready, so what about we stop the game for now and go to the kitchen? If you eat you’ll get a boost of energy.” Doyoung held her hand, shocking her even more.

Did the boys actually feel sorry for her having to put up with Johnny?!

“Agreed.” Lucas shook his head. “Let’s go, princess.”

Youngho was frowning due to Doyoung’s odd behaviour, but it got unbearable thanks to Lucas’ boldness. What the fuck was wrong with his friends? Did Y/N need to be pampered and treated as the most delicate flower now?

If he was going to be honest with himself – which he was not –, he'd admit that he was a bit jealous. Y/N didn’t need sugar-coated treatment; she liked things rough, she was tough and cold when she needed to be, and knew how to put people in their place. A woman like her should be treated as a goddess, not as a fragile lady. And, well, Johnny knew how to treat her right. He knew exactly what to do to make her squirm, to capture all of her attention, to crawl under her skin. Unfortunately, since they were connected by her transformation, he was sure Y/N knew what to do to him as well…

Even though she never seemed interested in using it to her favour.

That was the saddest thing about turning people into demons: you created a bond with them; so you could feel when they are struggling, when they’re excited, when they’re mad or happy... That’s why less and less demons offered or agreed to do so; it was too much trouble. When Y/N woke after “dying” and they talked, Johnny went out to find more experienced demons who could help him figure out what really had happened, but there wasn’t much information about what happened when someone becomes demon without selling their soul and requesting to come back as one of them. Then, he wasn’t able to answer all of her questions and Y/N freaked out, deciding she had enough and was wasting her time... So she left him.

Him.

She didn’t leave Yuta, Taeyong, Lucas or Doyoung.

She left just him.

Moreover, it was a hard punch on his ego. No one ever left him, he left them.

When they sat down for dinner, Y/N was between Yuta and Lucas, looking more relaxed than before. She loved Taeyong’s food because it was always homemade and he usually cooked dishes she could use as “comfort food”; besides, that’s what eating meant to her: comfort. He had prepared dough soup (sujibae), mushrooms, courgettes and garlic bread as sides, and for dessert chocolate lava cake.

Yuta poured her some soup while she devoured in one bite the bread.

“Do you live in hunger?” He joked.

“Only when the weather is shitty.” Y/N stated. “Oh God, Tae, I love your food!”

“I’m glad I can help.” The leader smiled lovingly. “Did you have fun playing cards?”

“No, dear, not at all.” She shook her head. “Would you ever be so kind to pass me the mushrooms, Dodo?” The adorable smile she gave Doyoung (and that hideous petname) made Johnny scow.

What the fuck was happening there?

“Should we start with the British accent as well?! Maybe some Regency outfits and a full decoration?” Doyoung joked, handling her the mushroom bowl.

“Capital! That would be precious.” Y/N leaned forward, a hand on her heart and eyes twinkling. “I’d like to be called ‘Your Grace’ or ‘milady’.”

“Holy fuck!” Lucas tried to muffled a laugh. “Suits you perfectly, tho. However, since I’ve always been calling you ‘princess’ I might have to stick with ‘Your Highness’, huh?”

“The higher the better.” She winked.

“Damn, you’re still here but I’m already missing you so much!” Yuta bawled. “Please, come back home! You’ll be safer and happier here, I swear.”

“Agreed.” Lucas and Doyoung said at the same time.

She felt her heart warm up with that. It was awesome living together with them – unfortunately, she didn’t want to put up with all the trouble Johnny brought her, and he sure would. Also, what would she do if he showed up with girls night after night? She couldn’t spend the whole day in the bedroom and the boys would think she was sick or going officially crazy… Yes, of course she could talk about Johnny with any of them, but she didn’t want to. Talking about him would make things more real… And she preferred to ignore it.

“You know I can’t, Yuta.” She was about to change subjects when she earned the puppiest ‘puppy eyes’ look of all them: Taeyong. “Stop, Tae! Don’t look at me like that! It’s not good for the baby.”

“Which baby?” He paled.

“Me.” Her mouth twitched.

Lucas chuckle soon turned into a laugh and soon everyone started laughing too… Everyone but Johnny. His eyes were bored into her, trying to tore her skin and uncover all truth she had hidden – sincerely, with the intensity of that gaze, she wouldn’t be surprised if she was naked.

Johnny left her mouth, his strong body hovering over her and his hand kept its work. Y/N felt her heart beating loudly thanks to the pleasure.

It had to be the pleasure.

‘We’re not doing things your way.’ She moaned.

‘Are you sure?’ There he was again, being the stupidly arrogant man he was.

‘We’re not.’ Y/N tried to assure her own head.

‘Aw, I think we will.’ His long digit eased its way inside her, making Y/N’s eyes shut automatically. The hideous man! ‘What do you say?’

‘Stop, Youngho, that’s what I say. Stop.’

He paused as instructed but his finger was still in her.

Y/N abruptly shifted on the bed, the wet dream still painfully alive on her memory. She looked to the side – Lucas, as the heavy sleeper he was, didn’t even flinch at her agony. Leaving the mattress, she grabbed her night-robe and decided that the kitchen was the best place to deal with frustrations… Or whatever “wet dreams” should be classified.

She was in the middle of preparing hot chocolate when she heard steps.

“Oh, you’re here.” Johnny’s voice sent shivers down her spine.

“Youngho.” Y/N breathed in.

“Y/N.”

“Why are you here?”

“Am I not allowed to enter my own kitchen?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I’m here because I was hungry and smelled chocolate, so I thought Tae was having a midnight-crisis and wanted to bake something to chill out.” He shrugged. “Anyway, mei fortuna, what about you? What made you wake up so early? A wet dream?” He smiled innocently at her, doing his best to look uninterested.

“How the fuck did you know?”

“I’m connected to you, I told you already.”

“Yeah, in a really dumb and weak way.” She sneered. “Stop reading my mind, then.”

“I’m not reading it; what the fuck do you take us for?! We’re not in Twilight!” Johnny crinkled his nose. “You died in lust and greed, that’s why these are more intense in your life now. And, not to be nosy, you need to fuck often.”

“Oh my fucking God.” She rolled her eyes, turning off the stove.

“You’ve been calling Him a lot.”

“Yeah, I found out He’s the only one listening to my complaints, currently.”

“Aren’t your soldiers working hard to grant each one of your wishes?”

“My soldiers?”

“Lucas, Yuta, Taeyong and Doyoung. I’ve never seen them this devoted.”

“They aren’t my soldiers, but I won’t apologize for the way they treat me.” She smiled coyly. “If it bothers you, I suggest you mind your own business, then.”

“It is quite hard to mind my own business when they’ve been all petnames and sugar-coated actions on you.” Johnny stated matter-of-factly. “You don’t need this.”

“What are you trying to suggest? That I don’t deserve to be pampered?!”

“Precisely.” He agreed. “You don’t like that.”

“Do you even listen to yourself sometimes?” She scoffed, offended.

“Mei fortuna, you like roughness and choking, you like playing the femme fatale and you like the idea of being in control even when you know that it ain’t true.” Johnny raised a brow. “Or am I wrong? Do you really enjoy those ‘princesses’ and ‘dears’ and ‘sweethearts’?”

“Judging by this I suppose you call me a whore when you go on with your ‘Mei fortuna’ thing, right?!”

Johnny’s eyes lighted up in surprise. He thought she would know by now, but that wasn’t the case.

“Actually it’s a Latin expression that means ‘My luck’… Since you’re my lucky charm.”

She didn’t mean to be touched by it. She didn’t even like what it represented… But she, somehow, felt her heart getting warm and small.

Oh, for fuck sakes, the man was hideous!

“Hmpf. Well.” She stuck her nose in the air, dismissing him. “I’m going to sleep.”

“Without your hot chocolate?”

“You can have it.”

“Are you coming to the party this Saturday?”

“Perhaps I will.” Y/N disappeared into the hall, leaving Johnny with a smug smile.

It was flattering that she had a wet dream with him and felt bothered by it. He couldn’t wait to put his hands on her again… And he would make sure to do it on Saturday.

●●●

Yuta had showed Y/N all the possible souls she could buy or feed off. He knew how to handle her and how to make it all seem less horrible – which she preferred.

“You have to feed yourself, love. Properly.” He had told her, compassion shining on his dark eyes.

Yuta was right, as expected. After corrupting two souls, her body felt stronger, alive. And the feeling was addictive; she wanted to keep doing that for ages.

Congrats Y/N, you’re a hideous being. – her conscience screamed.

A tall man walked past the group she was talking to, the dark blue suit so beautiful and shiny that it caught her attention. Her eyes went straight up to the man’s face… Just to find out he wasn’t a stranger at all. Of course Seo Youngho would be walking around as if he was God himself. They exchanged glances and Y/N felt another type of hunger.

Damn, she would give everything to get dicked down by him (again).

With a handshake, she dismissed her targets and approached Devil.

“Youngho.”

“Y/N. You came.”

“Not really.” She couldn’t help but rejoice in his grin.

“That can be arranged.”

“Oh, I’m afraid it can.” She shook her head positively. “These guys are really easy to convince. In fact, Yuta showed me some of them, and the rest happened almost automatically.”

“So no more gossips? Are you eating properly?”

“Wanna check out?”

“No, no. I might get jealous.” He gave her a half smile. “But I’m glad you’re finally doing it right.” His eyes turned slowly into the devilish cognac colour, shining with wickedness and proudness, and Y/N felt her throat burn with desire.

That man was impossible.

“Isn’t Cassandra around?” Right after asking, Y/N felt stupid and childish.

“Cassiopeia?” Johnny looked at her with humour. “I don’t think she will come. She’s mad at me and I’m not in the mood to deal with humans.”

“But are you in the mood for demons?”

“It depends. Are they female?”

“Maybe…”

“Interesting. What else?”

“It’s just a possibility, though.” Y/N started cautiously. “I mean, you’re really arrogant and I’m still fed up with all that happened months ago – but maybe, and I stress it, maybe, I want us to fuck.” She blushed. “The wet dream and all…”

Johnny smirked.

“Wanna discuss it somewhere private?”

“Please.” She agreed.

They got inside Johnny’s chamber and Y/N remembered the day she went there for the first time. Apparently, even though she didn’t sleep with him that night, it was bound to happen. And now, luckily, she would lay on that wicked bed and do wicked things with Mr. Wicked.

“Why are you still mad?”

“I’m having a hard time concealing my demon shit with my previous life. Now that I’m eating properly, it downed on me it’s real, you know?!”

“Yeah, it is tricky in the beginning.” He chuckled. “But I don’t see why you should stay mad at that, nor at me.”

“Oh, of course you only turned me into this, but where’s the problem, huh?!”

“Are we having this conversation again?”

“Well, I apologize for not fully adapting into a life I didn’t ask for!” Her tone was sarcastic, but the way her brows knotted together made her just cute.

He could feel her anger and her lust… Oh, she was so adorable! He couldn’t help himself.

“Y/N, look, I know you didn’t ask for it and I know you’re annoyed by what happened but there’s no way to reverse it. So, instead of being bitter and petty forever, why don’t you enjoy what was given to you? You have powers, you can manipulate lives and destinies… And you have me.”

“What?” Her jaw dropped.

“Well, I’m here to fuck you senseless, aren’t I?”

“I-I kinda hope so… I guess.”

“Then let’s close the topic. After I'll fuck your brains out, I think you’ll be able to see things clearer, alright?” Johnny locked the door. “Now be a good girl and strip for me. This skirt is driving me nuts.” He gestured to her leather skirt.

Her hands went to the clothing piece, but she stopped mid-way.

“What?” Johnny inquired.

“I was thinking… I’ve stripped for you once and did a lap dance.” She tilted her head to the side. “Would it be too greedy of me if I ask you to take them off yourself?”

He hesitated for a brief second, then smirked.

“It would be a pleasure.”

Y/N felt her heart beating fast while he approached her – those long fingers going straight to her cropped top. Her boobs fell down, free from the fabric, and Johnny’s mouth watered at the sight. He played with one nipple, feather touches, just to tease. Y/N was too focused on his alcoholic yellow eyes to try to make him stop with the teasing.

“You make me so thirsty, Youngho.”

Something in the way she said his name – as if it was a prayer – ignited him inside.

“For what?” One of his hands travelled up to her chin, cupping it.

“For cognac.” She closed her eyes and breathed in. “For kisses.” And then when she looked at him again, her irises were also yellow. “For you.”

He kissed her urgently, passionately, violently. It had been months since he felt something like that… Something so right. It couldn’t be just because he transformed her; he had that feeling long before. However, Johnny didn’t want to analyse anything but her body… Well, not yet. He tugged on her skirt, pulling it down slowly. Stopping the kiss to look at her in her burgundy lace set, he sighed contently. Oh, he would devour her.

“What?” Y/N questioned.

“Nothing. It’s just that you are too pretty for your own good.”

“And you’re too dressed for my own good.” She giggled.

“Well, do you want me to strip?” His voice was pure mockery, but his eyes were predatory.

“If you’d ever be so kind, sir.”

“Oh.” He smiled, his body beginning to withdraw from hers. “Then if you allow me to be greedy too, I have a request.”

“I thought you were the boss here.”

“Normally, yes. But once in a lifetime I can let someone else play the role… That being said, can you call me ‘Youngho’ or ‘Johnny’ as for tonight? Nothing about ‘sir’ or ‘Devil’.”

“That’s an odd request coming from you, sir, but I can comply.”

“Alright. Now that we’re settled, maybe you should sit down… I won’t be able to catch you if you faint while I strip.” He blinked in fake innocence, which made Y/N grin.

She didn’t want to argue with him right now. They were teasing each other and it felt good, not resentful like it has been for the past months. Even though calling him by his name would make things way more intimate, she couldn’t bring herself to care. Also, she needed a proper fuck. She needed someone like Johnny; and she didn’t want to ruin everything before she had an orgasm.

When Y/N sat down on his bed and it was as if she was embraced by pure lust. She touched the black satin sheets and smiled to herself… She had a set that looked like that, and it was her favourite one. Then she looked up and forgot how to breathe. Handsome boys undressing from their suits should be elected as the first of the Seven Wonders of the World. After taking out his jacket, Johnny started unbuttoning his shirt, loving the way Y/N followed his fingers as if she was under hypnosis. He threw it aside, hands now on his belt, and Y/N licked her lips.

“Holy fuck, let me do it.” She reached out for him, but he slapped her hand.

“No, no. This is my time to shine, mei fortuna. You asked for a strip and you’ll get one.”

“You’re taking too long!”

“You took two months and a whole ass song! I’m not even gonna take four minutes.”

“My tongue is impatient.” She nagged. “Please, Youngho.”

“What does your tongue have to do with it?”

“I want to lick every inch of you, that’s the problem!”

He chuckled, finding her eagerness so adorable that he gave up. “Oh, ok then. Guess you can control now.”

Y/N wanted to take her time with his body, so she started from his neck. Getting up, she let her hands touch his shoulders while her mouth went to his chin and collarbones. Oh, he was delicious and addictive! What a horrible, hideous man! Johnny’s chest rose, breathing in, closing his eyes to enjoy the caress properly. Her tongue left small licks all over his torso, getting lazier with every step further down, next to his belt. One warm hand got rid of his trousers in a quick move, leaving him with his underwear. Y/N smiled to herself, undressing him from his last piece of clothes. Without warning, she swirled her tongue over his shaft, receiving a raspy grunt in response. She looked up, repeating the movement, slower. Youngho sighed, feeling shivers run through his body. He watched, mesmerised, Y/N start to suck him off, swallowing him as far as she could handle. He tightened the grip on her head, but not moving at all, because it was her time to dictate the rhythm. Her large nails clawed at his thighs and the shivers intensified. He let out a loud groan as Y/N squeezed her testicles lightly, testing them. Johnny leaned against the wall, succumbing to the pleasure, but his attention remained on her, unable to take his eyes off the wonderful scene that Y/N was sucking his dick.

She guided his wrist to her hair, not really needing to “be in control” to make him cum. Johnny accepted it as if he needed to be tugging on her hair tightly for his life. He kept her head still and started to fuck her mouth. Y/N looked up again, and her eyes were so lustful that it was more than he could bear; Youngho was never prepared to see her as beautiful and disposed as she was in sex. He really wanted her to be in Louvre, the most precious paint to ever be shown.

“Can I cum in your mouth, mei fortuna?” He asked, wiping a small tear from her eye, his thumb caressing her cheekbone while he kept thrusting inside.

She shook her head positively the best she could, due to their position. It didn’t take much to make Johnny cum – he got out slightly, so he could see his seed filling her mouth. It was all too erotic, too lustful, so right. He watched Y/N eagerly lick her mouth, giggling. Without giving him more time to take enjoy of the scene, Y/N stood up.

“I think you should lay down, Youngho.”

“Anything you want, love.” Johnny mocked her, doing as she suggested. “What are you going to ride tonight?”

Y/N tried to pretend she wasn’t surprised he guessed what was going to happen. “Your face, and then your cock... If you behave.”

Johnny chuckled. “The only noise you’re going to listen from me is my mouth devouring you, I promise.”

It took her a deep breath to start moving. Her heart was beating so fast and she was so anxious to have his mouth on hers that she, for a moment, thought she wouldn’t handle it. Y/N passed one leg on either side of his face, slowly going down before sitting on that pretty mouth. His tongue began to move, the friction and speed so wonderful that it made her moan loudly. That was so much better than what she had imagined. Holding on the headboard, Y/N tried to focus entirely on the sensations. Youngho licked her like a lazy cat, sucking ever so often on her clit and letting one hand rest on her thigh. When she felt fully enchanted, her hips started moving slightly, riding his face as she had warned before. Johnny growled, his tongue speeding up.

“If you suffocate, please just throw me aside.”

He pushed his face further on her pussy, as a response. Y/N’s eyes flew shut, the orgasm building quickly. Oh, the hideous man he was! Her body just couldn’t get enough of him! She gasped, tipping her head back, enjoying the tight grip on her stomach. Somehow, he smacked her butt and it was everything she needed to fall into the pool of pleasure.

Johnny didn’t wait for Y/N to calm down. He gently pushed her to the side and sat down, bringing her to his lap, kissing her hungrily. In a matter of second, she was already aligning herself in his member. His eyes brightened in anticipation. It was incredible how anything made by her became an intense erotic act. Her breasts arched forward while she sunk on his dick, and he took them in his hands, squeezed them, sucking her nipples and leaving little bites that made Y/N moan loudly. He stared at the spot where they met, feeling pure bliss. The first thrust was so precise that she ran out of air. Only Johnny could touch her in the right way, make her feel right. At that moment, while the two were together, Y/N did not think about her problems or their complicated relationship; she concentrated only on Youngho and all the wonderful things that made her feel. How desperate she had been for him, and it seemed to get worse over time. Staring into his alcoholic eyes, Y/N began rock against him, increasing their pleasure. She was still sensitive from the past orgasm and that was enough to make her hungry for another. Johnny grabbed her hip, the noise of thrusts being louder than the grunts and gasps they let loose. She ran her hands down his tanned backs then wrapped them around his neck, still grinding, but she lost some speed as he lowered his face and sucked one of her nipples. It was hard to focus on only one place in her burning body. She began to quiver, her nails digging into his shoulder and indicating her orgasm.

“Here.” Youngho took her hands on his, intertwining their fingers. “To keep you steady, love.”

The petname was too much.

He should come back with ‘Mei fortuna’ or anything that remembered her of who they truly was… But ‘Love’ was too much. ‘Love’ made her heart feel warm and melt. ‘Love’ made her think she could never stay a day without looking at those yellow eyes.

Y/N gave in to the spasms and searched for air as she reached her high – she was far away, plunged into absolute delight. No more than a minute later, she felt Johnny's arms hold her down, laying her on her back while he climbed up and shoved into her again. Y/N let out a little shriek from the surprise thrust. The strength in which he held her would leave marks, but Youngho was too eager for release to care. When he came, he moaned loud his hips slowing down only a bit. He grinned, sticking his forehead to hers and opened his eyes.

“One time I heard Lucifer is the prettiest being alive.” She murmured, hypnotised. “Are you sure your name is Youngho?”

“I am, Y/N.”

“Damn, if he is prettier than you than I hope to never meet him.”

Johnny couldn’t help but chuckle. “It’s good when you don’t die after we fuck.”

“It only happened once.” She groaned. “Are you really going to ruin the mood?”

“It keeps me from doing something crazy.”

“Such as?”

“Asking you to move back home… Asking you to stay.” He shrugged, getting out of her.

Y/N sat down, shocked. “What to do you mean?”

“I thought fucking you would make you come to your senses, but turns out it backfired.”

“Youngho, I don’t have time for metaphors.”

“Maybe demons do fall in love, Y/N, and maybe I’ve fallen for you.”

She choked, too surprised to answer or pretend to be fine with what he said.

“And maybe that’s why you didn’t officially die when I corrupted you.” Youngho ruffled his hair, wiping a bit of the sweat off. “I don’t know, honestly. Nothing like this happened to my friends that corrupted beings of light, but none of them felt this drawn into their victims.” He approached her, holding her chin up and looking into her now yellow eyes. “When we met… When you left two months ago… It was you from the beginning, Just Y/N, not your light.”

Oh, the hideous, horrible man!

And just like that, he had her heart wrapped around his finger.

#johnny smut #johnny scenarios #nct smut #nct scenarios #johnny seo 😔#youngho smut #youngho scenarios

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transvoxman · 3 years

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hold on, isnt it shadowy in the carl episode? its shadowy pretending to be venomous. its not actually venomous. this is heavily implied since we HAVE an episode with ven and ko to compare their interactions to, and he straight up wears shadowys gloves driving home. thats why he was trying to get tko out. "teaming up with shadowy" was more shadowy taking over and locking venomous away (like we saw tko do once or twice to ko)

It IS heavily implied, but I’m not sure what I headcanon personally. For one thing, I don’t trust shadowy figure as far as I can throw him, so when he says that venomous tried to reach an agreement with him, I can’t decide whether venomous really did try to work together with shadowy at first, or if venomous was genuinely trying to get rid of shadowy 100% and shadowy completely took over before venomous could succeed.

I do think that by the time he’s wearing shadowy’s gloves driving home, shadowy’s definitely fully taken over, but there’s so many possibilities for how much venomous was in control up until then.

SO many theories under the cut I’m so sorry for this oncoming wall of text

The most straightforward theory is that shadowy’s been completely in control ever since venomous found out about him in Let’s Get Shadowy -- it would certainly line up with his threat to take over venomous permanently if fink told venomous about him. BUT on the other hand, I feel like it’s one of the less interesting explanations, because it doesn’t give venomous the chance to be confronted with the choice between getting rid of shadowy and pursuing more power.

Then, there’s the possibility that venomous came back at the end of Let’s Get Shadowy, and was genuinely trying to get rid of Shadowy like he promised KO, but for whatever reason (the intense anxiety of knowing how high the stakes are if he fails to get rid of shadowy, the panic of realizing how much he’s upset fink and boxman and so many others while in a form he can’t control or remember, etc) he transformed into shadowy against his will, and THEN shadowy fully took over and didn’t let venomous come back. This one gives venomous the most benefit of the doubt, and like, yeah, I’d love to believe that this is what happened, but I don’t know. Maybe it’s just because we got barely any episodes in season 3 to develop venomous’s character, or just because I love angst too much, but I don’t 100% buy that venomous has grown enough as a person yet to do this. It would’ve just been SO EASY for him to rationalize not completely getting rid of shadowy, like “I’ll just figure out a way to stop myself from transforming against my will, and then I can very carefully learn how to gain control over the power and it’ll be fine”. Like, this man has such poor impulse control, and is so bad at standing his ground in certain cases, y’know? So then there’s the possibility that venomous really did succumb to the temptation to see if he could control shadowy instead of getting rid of him, but as soon as he tried it out, shadowy instantly took over completely, which would mean that shadowy’s in full control from the very beginning of the episode Carl. This Might be the one I think is most likely? But it’s totally fair if everyone disagrees with me here, I’m Here for angst and super flawed characters but I know not everyone is. And finally, there’s the option that I think is the most fun, although I’d need to rewatch the episode before I said anything about whether I think it’s actually likely or not: venomous DID give in to temptation, made an agreement with shadowy, and for a little while, shadowy let him co-pilot, so venomous would let his guard down a little and get some hope that he really COULD have it all. So then, at the beginning of the episode Carl, venomous really is mostly in control. He might’ve lied to K.O. about getting rid of shadowy, but all that matters is that he’s got it under control, right? He could even tell himself that this was even better, because now that he has shadowy under control he can teach K.O. how to get TKO under control! A win-win! Another fun thing about this would be the parallels it has with the episode where KO and TKO co-pilot his body together and it briefly seems like it’s working out fine. But anyway, over the course of the episode, shadowy takes over for brief moments that get more and more frequent, and then by the time venomous realizes that shadowy’s trying to fully take over and never meant to keep his end of their agreement at all, it’s too late, and sometime later in the episode, shadowy’s taken over completely. AND ALSO, all of these theories aside, I’m really conflicted on what the show’s trying to say about whether the dark alter egos are separate people or not, and by extension how much responsibility they should take for what their alter egos have done. On the one hand, there’s this entire heartfelt message about KO realizing that he and TKO are the same person and he has to stop thinking of them as separate people, but on the other hand, TKO repeatedly gets angry at people for calling him KO, so he clearly wants people to respect them as separate people, and I think it’s common decency to respect that! And yeah, the obvious thing to point out here is that TKO and Shadowy Venomous do things that KO and Venomous would Never Do, AND in venomous’s case he doesn’t even REMEMBER what shadowy does while he’s in control, both of which are big points in favor of KO and Venomous not needing to take all that much responsibility for their alter egos’ actions. BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, the entire climax/message of the show being about TKO and KO accepting that they’re the same person is a pretty big point in favor of the completely opposite view. And since I’m so torn here, I think the best thing I can do is set my stance on a middleground--venomous and KO should absolutely not be held COMPLETELY responsible for their alter egos’ actions, but they still need to take SOME amount of responsibility. It would be shitty if people blamed them for causing so much pain and destruction in their turbo forms, BUT it’s still their responsibility to work towards learning how to be in control of their alter egos / emotions so their alter egos can’t hurt people like that again, and I think it would also be a good idea for them to help with damage control when they DO regain control of themselves--like in the episode TKO Rules, KO cleans up after TKO even though it wasn’t exactly HIS fault, he doesn’t just say “I didn’t do this, so it’s not my problem”.

So, I don’t know exactly where I stand on literally anything I’ve written here, but the bottom line is, I think it’s more complicated than shadowy taking over venomous against venomous’s best efforts to get rid of him, and I’m conflicted on whether I absolve venomous of ALL blame for what shadowy does. I tend to lean towards whatever I think is the most interesting to explore in my headcanons, which Also tends to be the least charitable interpretation, BUT I realize that this show’s tone can often lean towards being more lighthearted, so what I think is most interesting to explore has no relation to how likely it is to be true.

So yeah, personally I THINK I lean towards venomous being in control for part of the episode, and even if he’s not in control for any of it I think it’s a little too straightforward to say that he’s 0% at fault for anything shadowy does. But that’s completely just my edgy headcanon/theory lol

#ask #okko thoughts #transvoxman talks #professor venomous #shadowy venomous #I also gotta clarify that I love venomous as a character #and being skeptical of his ability to Do the Right Thing probably at least partially stems from the fact that I project onto him #and maybe subconsciously I headcanon the Least Charitable things about him because of doubting Myself and My ability to do the right thing?#not to overshare in the tags BUT #I project onto a character and am immediately like 'hm i think they make terrible choices. nothing more relatable than that!'

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