#still thinking about poor jake lloyd

[pathetic-lifeform]

After witnessing Hayden’s return to Star Wars, first in OWK in 2022 and now in Ahsoka, I cannot help but think that why did it take us nearly 20 years to collectively claim this man as our own? Do we even deserve him?

In the prequels he gave his everything, his portrayal of Anakin was incredibly nuanced and he clearly had done his homework (e.g. nailing JEJ’s speech pattern and his vocal cadence, as well as David Prowse’s physical mannerisms). Looking at Hayden you could see exactly what George Lucas meant when he said he wanted someone who had ” that presence of the dark side”. But you could also distinguish the former innocent slave boy, who wanted to be a Jedi and make his loved ones proud. He was Anakin, he was Vader.

It still makes me extremely sad and upset that some fans thought their image of Vader at the time was the only right one. They had their heads too up their asses to see that Anakin/Vader was right there, exactly as George Lucas had written him, both passionate and powerful but also sad and pathetic. And of course there were those who did see it, most of them were just too young at the time/without a platform to express all that awe and outpouring of love, as it was mostly drowned out by the loud, spiteful hate and criticism.

I can’t even imagine the things Hayden had to hear, directly from fans and from the media. It must’ve been so discouraging for a young actor. Heck, he was 24 when RotS came out. 24. And still, after everything, he decided to come back. He could’ve declined when Deborah Chow called him and asked him to return to the franchise, I would not have blamed him.

We are extremely lucky to have him back as Anakin and Vader again. And we better remember that.

#that man deserves the world #I also hope we have learned something from this #also also #still thinking about poor jake lloyd #I hope he’s alright #hayden christensen #anakin skywalker #ahsoka #obi-wan kenobi series #ahsoka series #rosie rambles #salt #fandom salt

[universitypenguin]

Reissued Post - Backstory

Author's Note: Because Tumblr was having issues when I posted the original version of this, some of my followers are having trouble accessing it. I'm reissuing a few of my side piece stories so everyone can read them.

Masterlist

Word Count: 3,132

Masterlist

When do you think Lloyd realized he cared and had feelings for princess? I recall in the story that the guys would give Lloyd a hard time when princess finally found a boyfriend that Lloyd would be devastated (poor thing 😭) I also kinda wanna know how he felt while she was dating Aiden. Obviously we know he didn’t like Aiden at ALL lol but did Lloyd ever feel hurt in a way watching princess go on dates with him and when she talked about him?

Learning about Aiden

“Why are you being such a space case?” 

You jumped at Lloyd’s question, startled out of your own little world. Scrambling, you shut your screen and re-focused. 

“Sorry. I was distracted. What were you saying?”

Lloyd’s sharp blue eyes narrowed. 

“Who are you texting?” 

“Uh… no one?”

He leaned back in his desk chair and looked at you steadily. You curled tighter into the couch on the other side of his office, looking down at the floor. 

“I still have that report to do… maybe I should go work in my office. I don’t want to distract you.” 

“I’m already distracted, Princess. What’s the big secret?” 

“I met a guy. You know that alumni mixer I went to a few weeks ago?”

Lloyd grunted. “Yeah.” 

“His name is Aiden LeDoux. He moved in similar circles to me during college. We kind of hit it off.”

“That’s LeDoux, spelled like the country singer? What state does he live in?” Lloyd asked. 

He typed the name into a search engine with the word, ‘Virginia’ to filter the results. 

“Twenty-six, graduated three years ago, and works for AVT security?”

“That’s him. What did you find out?”

Lloyd glanced over. “You haven’t run a background check on him?”

“No. That’s for when I’m deciding whether to go on a date with him. But I’m curious.” 

“Ah. Let’s do this.” 

Lloyd cracked his knuckles and leaned over his computer. Your phone dinged with a message from Aiden, which you responded to as Lloyd typed. 

“No speeding tickets, no parking tickets. His academic record was less than stellar. Apparently he subscribes to the philosophy that C’s get degrees.” 

“Not everyone is academically inclined,” you said. 

“But you are. What will you guys talk about on a date if you have nothing in common?”

“I don’t know. Football?” 

Lloyd snorted. “Doesn’t start until September.” 

“Oh. That’s why you’re not showering me with long winded descriptions of the athletic accomplishments of people I don’t know.” 

“You could always mention how happy you were that the Atlanta Braves won the Superbowl.” 

Your eyes narrowed. “I know that’s wrong, but I’m not sure which part.” 

Lloyd snickered. “If you have to comment, just say that you’re a fan of anyone who isn’t the New England Patriots.” 

“Noted. Anything else on Aiden? Slaps on the wrist from university institutions, or other authorities?”

“Ah-ha. He has three parking tickets at the university. And a complaint for under age drinking. You should reconsider the date. He’s clearly an alcoholic who steals parking spots. One of these tickets was for him parking over the line. Disgusting.”

You laughed. “Terrible. He was probably drunk when he parked. Maybe even high.” 

Lloyd toggled over to a different page, one that Jake had set up for him. He typed in Aiden’s information and was surprised to see several security clearances. He checked out the company he worked for and found they had several Department of Defense contracts. 

Lloyd memorized the contracts and filed the information away for future use. 

Just in case. 

Date # 1

You were wearing a short black dress with tights and a blazer. He’d noticed the hemline was shorter than usual, but the jet black tights made it work appropriate. The color only served to highlight the shape of your legs. Lloyd had tried not to be distracted. He failed miserably. 

It didn’t help that the cut of the dress perfectly flattered your figure. He caught a glimpse of a spaghetti strap underneath your jacket and the image circulated in the back of his head for the rest of the day. 

Fuck. He needed to get laid. 

You were his friend and he needed to put aside this nonsense. The chemistry between you would never be realized and that was for the best. He sometimes wondered if the chemistry he felt was all one sided. Maybe you only saw him as a friend and a coworker, not a man. 

“Has Y/N mentioned that she has a date tonight?” Jake asked. 

Lloyd stiffened. “No. Why?”

“Just wondering.” 

He tried to brush off the irritation, but it bubbled up throughout the day. 

You had a date. That was fine. It was what single people did, right? They went on dates. He could arrange a date of his own, if he liked. With an age appropriate woman and not someone who was starting on soft foods when he was choosing a college. Lloyd’s eye twitched. 

He glanced at the clock. If he wanted an update on the insurance investigation reports he needed to catch you before you head out. Reluctantly, he set off down the hall for your office. 

Your door was closed, so he knocked. 

“Just a sec!” 

Did you sound breathless? When you opened the door, he saw why. The black tights were gone. In their place was a different kind of tights, made of mesh with a floral pattern that wound around your legs making them look long and sexy. The blazer was gone and your dress was held up by the thinnest of straps connected to a tight fitting bodice. 

Your height was different, which prompted him to look down. 

Fuck me heels. That’s what they’d called shoes like that when he was young. As the saying went, ‘you can’t walk in them, but you can wear them in bed.’ 

“What do you think?” you asked. 

“Is this a first date?” 

“Yes.” 

“Do you have any concerns about breaking an ankle? Or perhaps an entire leg?”

The shoes bothered him more than the dress. 

You laughed and turned to the mirror you’d hung on the far wall of your office. He watched as you applied a fresh coat of red lip lacquer. The shiny finish made him think it wasn't lipstick, but at the same time, it had more color than lipgloss. He wondered if it was one of those fancy products with the no transfer formulas. The kind women usually wore when they planned on kissing a man. 

A vibrant image of you on your knees with your lips around his dick came to mind. Lloyd shook his head to dislodge the image. 

“Okay, now what do you think?”

“You look beautiful.” 

He genuinely meant it.

“Really?” You tilted your head. “What’s missing? Please, just tell me.”

“Well… maybe it’s the context, but you don’t look like you in this outfit. It’s probably just me. I usually l see you in office wear.” 

You flashed him a smile. “That’s perfect. I’m going more for attention than authenticity, you know?”

He didn’t, and couldn’t untangle the concept behind your statement. The authentic you was a far better version than this glamorous photo shoot ready version of you. With a quick peck on his cheek, you skirted by him and down the hall to the elevator. 

Lloyd stood there, confused, disgruntled, and irritated that he hadn’t even asked about the insurance investigation he’d planned to bring up. He rubbed a hand over his face. 

Fucking hell. 

When he stepped into your office to lock the door, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. An imprint of red lipstick was on his right cheek. He stared at it for a long moment before he rubbed it away with his thumb. 

Lloyd returned to his office in a much better mood than he’d left it.

Date #3 

Jake had informed him of your last date, but this time it was Zach who let him know you were going on your third date with Aiden. 

Lloyd ground his teeth. 

“Careful there. Don’t crack a molar.” 

“Shut. Up.” 

“Would I do a thing like that?” Zach asked. 

He was grinning like a little boy with a sadistic streak and a magnifying glass on a bright summer day. 

“You’re enjoying this.”

“Heck yeah, I am. Have you met the dude?” 

Lloyd’s head swiveled. “No. Have you?”

“Yep. I waited outside, pretending to be on a call, so I could catch a glimpse.” 

“That’s creepy.” 

“No, it’s being nosy. I’m a private investigator. Being nosy is literally my job.” 

“Well?” Lloyd said. 

“He’s six foot three and probably weighs one forty. It’s like looking at a baby colt - all arms and legs, no substance.” 

This was great news. If you weren’t attracted to him this would probably be over quickly.

“Did you to talk to him?”

Zach smirked. “I texted her that you needed an update on the insurance case and cornered him in the lobby.” 

“She’s going to kill you when she finds out.” 

“I bought him a coffee and did a twenty minute interrogation. He didn’t even know what I was doing. He thought I was just being friendly.” 

Friendly wasn’t a word often applied to Zach Hightower. Lloyd got along with the Texan because they shared a devious streak and could lose themselves in the hunt; especially when the prey was other human beings. 

“Give me your impression.”  

“He’s squirrely. I don’t like him one bit.”

Lloyd focused completely on Zach. 

“In what way?”

“He used the phrase ‘I was in a mood,’ and not ‘my mood was.’ Stuff like that. Princess got pretty annoyed when she found me getting cozy with her boyfriend.” 

“She probably thought I sicced you on him.” 

“She asked me what I thought of him this morning and I had to dodge the question,” Zach said. “Landon noticed I didn’t answer and asked what was up. When I told him about interviewing Aiden, he said the mood thing is a sign of a personality problem.” 

“What kind?”

Zach shrugged. “The kind that makes you an asshole.” 

“She’s going out with him tonight?” 

“I guess so.” Zach said. 

A long moment passed as Zach stared at Lloyd, expectant. 

“Well?” 

Lloyd raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Aren’t you going to say something to her?” Zach asked. 

“You’re the one who thinks her boy toy has a personality problem. You say something.” 

“Landon said that, not me. I can tell he’s the kind of guy things just ‘happen’ to. The kind that doesn’t realize they’re responsible for how they act.” 

“I’m not going to disturb her relationship.” 

Zach sighed. “You’re such a bitchy little girl.” 

Lloyd sneered. “And you’re a nosy old woman.” 

“It’s my job, asshole.”

Date #5

Lloyd should’ve been suspicious when Zach brought him to a bar that didn’t have chandeliers made of antlers. 

Obstensivey, this outing was to distract him from your date tonight. When he found himself sitting at a table on the mezzanine of a place called “Club Violet,” questions should have come up. 

Jake sat to his left and Zach across from him. When Zach’s eyes began to stray around the room, Lloyd mimicked the behavior, almost out of habit. The lower area held the majority of the crowd. Its large dance floor pulsed with activity and the bar was packed. 

Then, he saw what Zach was looking for. You were perched on a barstool, your arms twined around Aiden’s neck. He was standing in front of you, his hands caressing your hips, straying lower than they ought to. 

Lloyd’s breath hissed. “Jake, if I throw Zach head first over this railing, do you think he’ll die?” 

“Huh?” Jake’s head snapped up from his phone. He stared. “What?”

“I could just snap his neck with my bare hands.” Lloyd’s tone was conversational. 

Jake looked between them and then back to his phone. “Landon will be here any minute.”

“Off topic, boy wonder,” Lloyd grumbled. 

“It’s relevant. We need two of us to break you up.”

“He’s been waylaid,” Zach said.

Lloyd glanced down and saw that your position had changed. You’d let go of your boyfriend to speak with a newcomer. Even from a distance in dim lighting, he could identify Landon’s fade haircut and the military straight posture. 

“Damn it.”

He snarled at Zach, who returned a Cheshire cat grin. 

“Well, well, well… look who's coming up the steps.”

Lloyd didn’t need to look. He knew you’d be on your way over. He covered his eyes and groaned. 

“I’m blaming you for everything. Everything.”

“Why are you guys playing the role of protective older brothers?” Jake asked.

“Because Aiden’s a squirrely little punk,” Zach said. “See? He isn’t even coming with her.”

Lloyd uncovered his eyes and frowned when he saw Zach was right. Aiden was still at the bar. He’d turned to a girl with raven’s wing hair and was chattering away, looking suspiciously like he was trying to pick her up. His eyes narrowed as something cold moved in his chest. 

You arrived on the second level with Landon and were rapidly approaching.

“What’s our cover story?” Jake asked.

“No cover story,” Zach said.

At least Zach was being straightforward, even if he was obnoxious. Lloyd tossed back half of his bourbon and hoped some liquid courage would take the edge off. 

Your eyes cut to Zach when you stopped at the head of the table.

“What are you? The Gladys Kravits of Bishop & Howard?” 

The big, blond Texan flashed a smile. 

“Why thank you, sweetheart. In my profession, that’s the highest compliment one could hope to achieve.” 

With an exasperated groan, you dropped into the chair beside Zach, and turned to Lloyd with an expectant expression.

“Can’t you collar him?”

“I’ve tried. Shock collars, choke chains… Nothing has worked.” 

Zach slung an arm around the back of Princess’ chair. 

“Your boyfriend is an asshole. Landon? You talked to him.”

“Just for ten seconds.”

You shared a look with the dark haired man and slanted Zach a sidelong glance. 

“You’re paranoid. I think you should see someone about that.”

He laughed. “I have. They can’t fix me.”

It was annoying that Zach’s arm had moved forward on your chair and was now pressed against your back. Did he think he was your best friend, rather than Lloyd? He had the urge to kick the other man under the table. 

You turned to Jake.

“What do you think?”

“I think you’re right. These two,” he gestured to the older men, “are crazy. I think it’s age.”

“Shut up, punk. I can kick your ass any day of the week,” Zach said.

It was pretty much true. Zach only had two inches in height on the young man, but it was the solid 60 pounds of muscle that made him an immovable force. You couldn’t see the weight until he took off his jacket and even then, there was only a hint of the musculature. Zach never wore clothing that drew attention to his physique. He let it come as a nasty surprise to anyone stupid enough to mess with him. 

You were bantering with the Texan about him being your nanny. Lloyd watched closely and all he could see in Zach’s behavior was a paternal kind of affection. He knew a thing or two about Zach and because of that, he doubted there were any hidden motivations behind his actions.

What about Aiden had triggered Zach’s instincts? The way he talked. The lack of ownership of behavior. Lloyd tried to evaluate that on its own, treating it as fact. He could see the issue Zach was insisting was such a problem. Sitting there with the others bantering around the table, Lloyd turned his thoughts inward, pretending to present as he ran through the logic in his mind. 

He was paying enough attention to the conversation to notice you were gently trying to soothe Zach’s nerves. It seemed to be working, too. Landon was watching you closely and asking questions from interrogation school 101. By the time you left the table, pausing to hug Zach and reassure him that you were totally fine and had listened to all of his red flags, Lloyd had come to a decision. 

“What do you think?” Zach asked Landon when you were gone.

“I’m not sure. He seems insecure but hey, some guys of his age just are.” 

Zach groaned and shook his head. He picked up his beer and tilted it at Lloyd in a salute. 

“Look at the benefits of being nosy. I talked some sense into her.” 

Lloyd grunted. He waited for the right moment to corner Landon alone. He caught his shoulder and turned him away from the bar, where he’d been heading. 

“Come on. You don’t need another beer.” 

“Excuse me?” Landon demanded. 

“I want to talk to this Aiden kid. If Zach’s this worried about him, we need to check him out.”

“When did this become ‘we,’ rather than just you,” Landon asked. 

“Hurry up, we’re losing him.” 

Aiden was heading toward the door and the crowd prevented them from following as closely as they would have preferred. By the time they hit the sidewalk, Aiden was out of sight. Lloyd spun around, scanning the area. 

“Shit. We lost him.” 

“Is that him?” Landon asked. 

Lloyd whirled. 

He searched the crowd for a tall, thin man but didn’t find him. 

“Where?”

“With the blonde.”

Lloyd’s eyes narrowed on the silhouette of a couple standing in the shadow of a street lamp. 

“Are you sure?” he asked. 

“No,” Landon said. 

Lloyd was almost ready to approach when the couple turned and began walking away. 

Landon grabbed his elbow. 

“Come on. Let’s not be weird. If you have something to say about Princess’ relationship, say it to her.” 

“What, exactly, am I supposed to tell her that Zach hasn’t already?” 

Landon snorted. 

“You know he’s only saying it because he knows you won’t.” 

Lloyd paused. “He is?”

“Yeah. We were expecting you to meet him at least before date number three. But she said you didn’t seem interested, so she wasn’t going to bother.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“Because we talked about it-”

“We? We, as in who?”

“Everyone. Except for you and Princess.”

Lloyd grunted. “Which is why Zach decided to get nosy.”

Landon shrugged. “He’s your best friend and you’re her best friend. It balances out. We get why you don’t want to step in, and that’s why Zach did.” 

They were nearly at the entrance of the club again, when Lloyd stopped short. 

“Should I be worried about this guy?”

Landon grunted, rocking back on his heels. The look on his face was all the answer Lloyd needed. 

“Right. I’ll look into it.” 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Masterlist

#series: the princess & the lawyer #the princess & the lawyer #the princess and the lawyer #lloyd hansen fanfic #lloyd hansen fanfiction #lloyd hansen fic #lloyd hansen au #chris evans characters #chris evans characters fanfic #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen x you #lloyd hansen x y/n #lloyd hansen x female reader #lloyd hansen x fem! reader #the princess and the lawyer: ask #the princess & the lawyer: ask

[qqueenofhades]

I think the big loser in all this amazing, celebratory, emotional 6-episode saga that is Obi-Wan Kenobi is poor Jake Lloyd.

Aha, you know, I thought about him the other day, in the middle of what is now like my... third straight Star Wars rewatch (the prequels, Kenobi, Rogue One, and the OT, in that order). It's a pretty sad story; the whole backlash against a literal CHILD basically put him off acting and he followed the troubled child star path and had to go to rehab for drugs and etc. Like, the SW fandom is very often total trash and has treated MANY actors very badly (it's not their fault that they're playing the character as written and directed! Why all this backlash against them instead of the old white guys who came up with it???) But I think Jake Lloyd stands out as a definite worst-case example in terms of them being so shitty that they literally ruined, again, a CHILD'S LIFE OVER A STAR WARS FILM. Oy. And like, he's not bad (especially in the middle of all the other things that were wrong with the prequels) and certainly no worse than any other child actors in cheesy 90s films. There were just so many wild expectations and grandiose ideas and I guess they settled on him as the easiest target? Or something? Which... yeah. Sucks a lot.

Speaking of reassessing Anakin prequel actors, since everyone is (justly) commending Hayden for his performance as Anakin/Vader in Kenobi (especially that scene in episode 6 where Vader's mask breaks and he manages to do so much with literally only one eye visible) I was watching his physical/nonverbal acting carefully in AOTC/ROTS. And like... it's really quite good, especially in Revenge of the Sith. Yes, he has to speak the stilted wooden dialogue, but if you watch just his face in ROTS, it's incredibly subtle and expressive and does a whole lot more than the script. If you watched it on mute, you would get all the emotional beats and the journey and the fall, without actually having to listen to any of it. Some of his facial expressions right as Anakin is about to go over the edge are FAR more powerful than anything Anakin ever actually SAYS. Which, again, points to the essential writing and directing problems with the prequels, and not necessarily to a lack of acting talent on anyone's part. E.g., Natalie Portman is obviously talented, but she sounds like she's bored witless and just reading right off the page in TPM, is stuck with the godawful Romance TM of AOTC, and has very little to do besides cry in ROTS. Some of the older actors were able to get around the bad dialogue and still give fairly good performances, but others were stuck with the clunkiness of it all, and that is not necessarily their fault.

Anyway, yes. Jake Lloyd really got shafted, in a lot of ways, and I feel bad for him. He likewise deserves his rehabilitation opportunity, if he wants it. So yes.

#anonymous #ask #star wars #i am full up on my sw feelings since it is all my brain is able to process right now #so we are just on a permanent rewatch loop at the moment #(anyway yes please talk to me more about sw ahem)

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Hmmm…most excited to see Ransom, definitely. A little bit disappointed that he is gonna end up with a young one but I guess twenty something girls are definitely more attractive to trust fund boy

I’m really curious to find out how Flora is gonna find herself between his clutches. I’m not even sure Lloyd would have something to do with it and something tells me he will not be happy about it. (Well maybe that’s what my brain wishes, some fight between those two assholes)

Also, still want to know who the hell is Steve. I’m keeping my theory that he is just some psycho who stalked Tweed. Jake and Bucky helped him. Poor Tweed will turn out crazy…😫

Hehehe. Yeah I don't think Lloyd will be happy but we know Ransom is greedy...

And you're onto something about Steve for sure.

[gffa]

Is it weird I'm kind of hoping we don't get a young Luke (or Leia for that matter)? I just can't help thinking about Jake Lloyd and how SW was not a great experience for him. Some poor unsuspecting kid playing Luke freaking Skywalker. Fairly sure parts of fandom won't care he's only 10 if they disapprove of him.

I’m on the fence.  On the one hand, the kind of vicious shit the fandom will sling at the people involved in Star Wars is still alive and well, and no one should ever be exposed to that, much less a child. On the other hand, I don’t think Luke would be a major part of the story, if he’s not listed in the cast.  Jake Lloyd was hit with some of the most awful shit, but he was also playing the central character of the saga.  If some kid were coming along to play Luke Skywalker as the central character of a show, the most popular Star Wars character, the heart of the saga, then I would be a lot more wary. But I think whatever role Luke’s character has in this, it’s going to be pretty minor.  That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still be careful about how we treat any potential actor, that we shouldn’t help support any actor who is getting shit from the fandom, that we shouldn’t still be talking about what other young actors go through (those Stranger Things kids deserve SO much better omfg), but I’m not super worried about it given the limited structure of such a role. (If I’m wrong, I’ll be furious, but also I think this is part of why I’m hoping for any potential young Luke appearances to be relatively limited.)

#obi wan kenobi series #piepeloe

[ariainstars]

Star Wars, the Last 20 Years or Can We Please Try to Stop the Blame Train?

I would like to touch a subject that’s starting to grate on my nerves a little.

Anyone here knows that I disliked The Rise of Skywalker heartily. And I’m not the only person here or elsewhere who tore it to shreds. But I am reading (again) over and over why and how JJ Abrams, Chris Terrio, Kathleen Kennedy and Co. made this mess. Instead of searching for culprits, this time I would like to point out a few things.

I. Star Wars Prequels

Jake Lloyd, Ahmed Best and Hayden Christensen had to endure awful harassment in their time: the audience largely vented their frustration on them because when the prequels hit theatres, they did not get the Star Wars they had wanted. Politics are a dry subject, and young Anakin and the Jedi Council were all too human to be liked by fans who expect coolness in a hero more than everything else; which is probably why Darth Maul is a huge favorite although we hardly learn anything about him and he says almost nothing. Ditto Obi-Wan although he is clearly not suited to train Anakin and it’s him who maims him and leaves him to burn in the lava. (Until I saw the film, I had always assumed Palpatine had tortured Anakin to push him to the Dark Side.) 

The prequels’ messages in general were not liked: the Jedi were not perfectly wise and cool wizards, the Old Republic was stagnant, Anakin was a hot-headed, frustrated young man desperate to save his wife and unborn children. The films do not want to excuse what he did; however they portray him not as a monster but as a human being who was under an almost unendurable pressure for years and years until he finally snapped.

These messages may not be “cool”, but they were realistic and most of all, humane. Portraying the Jedi as well as Anakin as powerful, flawless heroes and the old Republic as a just, prosperous and balanced place would have meant undermining a central theme of the original trilogy: the former generation could not have been all that powerful and wise, else the collapse of their world and the failure of their convictions would not have happened in the first place. It is a sore point, but still twenty years later Obi-Wan and Yoda denied that Vader was human and expected Luke to commit patricide. 

All of this goes to show that the Jedi’s moral standard was flawed and their attitude not rooted in compassion and pacifism the way they claimed. In the end, what they cared about was winning, no matter the cost. In this, they were no better than the Sith.

~~~more under the cut~~~

II. Star Wars Sequels

J.J. Abrams, Kathleen Kennedy, Bob Iger and company were the ones who introduced the Star Wars sequel trilogy and with it its themes, characters, setting etc. to us in the first place: I think we should give them credit where it’s due. Rian Johnson made a very beautiful second chapter with The Last Jedi, but he did pick up where the others had left. 

Kelly Marie Tran made experiences similar to Jake Lloyds or Hayden Christensen’s when The Last Jedi was hit theatres. She was disliked for not being “Star-Wars-y” enough, chubby and lively instead of wiry and spitfire, and also taking a lot of screen time while many fans were impatiently waiting for some grand scenes from Luke and / or Leia. 

That Episode VIII, the central and most important one, was called “The Last Jedi” cannot be overstated. Luke was literally alone with the heavy task of rebuilding a religious order that was gone and destroyed long before he even learned about it, and at the same time he had to patch together his own family and atone for his father’s sins. This is a crushing burden for anyone to carry. It was important both for Rey and for the audience to meet Luke to see that he was a good man, but still just a man.

When Luke spoke openly to Rey about the failure of the Jedi Order, it was the first time he ever spoke about it that we know of; this wisdom he obviously acquired only after his nephew’s fall to the Dark Side. Luke has understood that the ways of the Jedi were wrong; but he does not know a better alternative. Force users are still born all over the galaxy, and they have to learn to use their powers - only how? Again, Luke is not to blame. How is he to know, when the Jedi of the Old Republic had lost sight of Balance in the Force for so long that they didn’t know what it actually meant anymore? 

Same goes for Leia, the princess without a realm, who tried to rebuild the Republic after the galaxy had been terrorized by the Empire and devastated by war for many years. She assuredly did her best, but she was only human. That she failed her son is of course shocking, but after the horror she had to endure at the hands of her own father it is not surprising that she would be terrified of her son possibly going the same way. Ben, like Anakin, was crushed under a legacy and responsibility that was by far too heavy for him. The tragedy of his life and the disruption - and in the end, obliteration - of his family was another proof for the failure of the ways of the Jedi. 

All of these lessons until now were not learned from. But let’s be honest: how many of us come from dysfunctional families? If we do, was getting away from them enough to heal the wounds of the past? Did we find out what to give our children on their way in life, or did we fail them because we had not elaborated the past enough to make way for a better future? Such problems are very common, and to heal them is complicated and takes time. A “happy ending” e.g. in form of finding a new family is not enough, on the contrary, it can lead to wanting to leave the past behind, leaving wounds unhealed that will fester their way through our lives again, sooner or later. Star Wars always was an allegory of the human mind, even if deeply cloaked in symbolism. The saga also abundantly takes inspiration from the Bible, and I think it’s not coincidentally said there that the sins of the fathers are visited upon the children. 

As fans, we would have wanted to see films that cemented the Jedi as guardians of the galaxy, with the Skywalker family right at the center. Which in itself is impossible because Jedi are supposed to remain unattached, making the mere idea of a Jedi having a family absurd. If the prequels told us that the Jedi were flawed, the sequels tore down the myth of the Skywalker family. And both trilogies showed that you can’t be a Skywalker and / or a Jedi / Force user and have attachments and a happy family of your own at the same time. At least, not until now. 

 III. Film production

Many fans of old complained because the sequel trilogy implied that the “happy ending” of the original trilogy’s heroes had not been so happy after all and that after having made peace for the galaxy, they had failed to keep it that way. Other viewers however liked the new trilogy and new characters right away and began to root for them. But they, too, jumped on the blame train when the trilogy had ended: expectations were not met, and now director, producers, script writers, cutters etc. are faulted all over again.

The first person coming up with the idea of Han’s and Leia’s only child turning to the Dark Side was Lucas himself. It always was a main theme of the saga that war separates people who actually belong together, like family, couples or close friends; that is not played for mere drama, but because it emphasizes the absurdity of war.

We as the audience do not know how production went - it is very possible that Lucas approved the general storyline, and there is always a whole team on board. It is not easy to purchase such a large and immensely popular franchise; it was to be expected that if things went not the way the audience expected, the Disney studios would be blamed harshly for having “ruined Star Wars”. With the prequels, at least Lucas was still at the helm; it was conceded that maybe he had lost his magic touch with storytelling, but certainly not that he was trying deliberately to ruin his own creation. And the fans who could not praise the Disney studios enough after The Last Jedi came out, now blame them over and over.

The Disney studios have long-term politics to consider and contracts to observe, and we don’t know their contents. We have every right to be disappointed, but I think it’s not fair to blame one or a particular group of persons who are trying their best to satisfy as many viewers as possible. If they simply wanted to satisfy the average dudebro who sees nothing but clichés, two-dimensional characters and Good against Evil - then why did they allow The Last Jedi to be produced in the first place? The studios obviously are aware that there are fans out there who are ready to look deeper in the saga’s themes, who wish to see the Force coming to Balance, who value family, friendship and love over “victory at any cost”, and who do not place the Jedi on some kind of pedestal.

In a sense, The Rise of Skywalker seems like a bow before The Last Jedi: the weakest chapter of the saga followed one of its strongest. Maybe the authors were aware that equaling or even topping what Rian Johnson had created would be next to impossible, so they patched up the open threads of The Force Awakens together with some fan service hoping to be out of the business as quickly as possible.

In retrospect, the infamous podcast with Charles Soule might also be tell-tale: Soule obviously is not elbows-deep in the saga and largely ignores its subtext. Since his The Rise of Kylo Ren comics are quite well-made, I assume that the general storyline did not stem from his own creativity and that he only carried out what he had been advised to do. The production of the whole sequel trilogy may have happened in a similar way. I am not excusing the poor choices of The Rise of Skywalker; merely considering that one or a few persons cannot be blamed in a studio that has thousands of creative minds on board.

I am still hoping for the next trilogy to finally bring Balance to the galaxy, and also into the fandom. Rian Johnson had negotiated the rights for the next trilogy along with The Last Jedi; I assume it is very possible that there was a clause about intellectual property saying that only he would continue Episode VIII’s topics, nobody else. This would at least be an explanation, given the embarrassing, jumbled mess that Episode IX was.

The overall title of the saga assuredly never wanted to inspire the audience to start online wars attacking the studios or the actors or other fans out of the conviction of being entitled to blame someone else’s worldview. The saga’s message is compassion. Both George Lucas and the Disney studios are telling us their story; the idea and the rights do not belong to us. Harping on “whose fault” it allegedly is won’t bring us anywhere; what we can do is make the studios understand that we’re not too stupid not to understand the subtext, the symbolism and metaphysics of the saga beyond the action story. If they listened to the Last Jedi haters, in all fairness they are bound to listen to us, too. 😊

  IV. Will Ben’s story continue?

My husband already warned me years ago that Ben most probably wouldn’t survive, or at least not get a happy ending. As Kylo Ren he had already been the head of a criminal organization for six years at the start of The Force Awakens, but all of that perhaps could still have been condoned within the scope of war. It was the very personal and intentional act of patricide, the killing of an unarmed, forgiving man, who turned him into a damned person. And after the deed, Ben was aware of it. He knew there was no way out for him, he had gone too far.

Many members of the audience did not understand that Kylo / Ben is not an out-and-out villain and that this narrative ultimately was about his redemption. Bringing him back to the Resistance after the Exegol battle alive and by Rey’s side would not have been accepted; how was Rey to explain everything when she hardly understood it herself? How would the audience have reacted to the former head of a criminal organization, a patricide, suddenly standing out as a hero? Remember how in Return of the Jedi Luke asked Vader to come away with him. Now suppose Vader had complied? It would have seemed (and been) sheer madness. Nobody would have believed neither father nor son that the terror of the galaxy had had a sudden turn of heart. Nobody knew that he was Luke’s father; Luke himself did not know Anakin’s backstory; nobody knew what had transpired between Luke and Vader so far. Yes, Ben was young and healthy, but he still had terrorized the galaxy for years and killed his own father. He knew himself that he was damned and could not go back to normality, as Vader did.

Rey was coded as the heroine: narratively, the sequel trilogy was her story. Ben couldn’t become the hero, with or without her, at the very last moment. She usurped power like her grandfather in his time, the Skywalker family was obliterated the way the Jedi were, she takes over another mantle (Skywalker) the way Palpatine did (becoming the Emperor). Balance in the Force never was truly in the cards, it was only vaguely hinted at in The Last Jedi by the Force mosaic in the Ahch-To temple. Balance is a complex and difficult subject; it would have been extremely difficult to develop it in the sequel trilogy together with introducing the new characters and giving the old ones closure.

However: if Ben is brought back in the next trilogy, his sacrifice for Rey will have been his atonement. If his role this time is not that of the villain but of the hero, it would reverse Anakin’s path and make clear that he no longer is the same man. Vader was redeemed, not rehabilitated. His grandson might still have the chance to go that way.

- Luke had promised Rey a third lesson, and it happened. He also had promised Ben to “see him around”, which has not taken place yet.

- On Tatooine, Rey watches the twin suns setting, same as Luke before he met the other half of his soul (his twin sister) again.

- The studios had said that the sequels would be “very much like the prequels”; the prequels were a tragedy where the Dark Side (Palpatine) won that was followed by a fairy tale where the Light Side won.

- The Skywalker saga is closed, so if Ben comes back it would be justified by his being a Solo, i.e. the story of his own family and not his grandfather’s.

- Given the parallels with Beauty and the Beast, the Beast died before the broken spell brought him back, making him a wholly new person - his past identity, purged and redeemed.

- George Lucas repeatedly said that the prequels and the classics belong together as one narrative, with Anakin Skywalker at its center. First news of the next trilogy came up with The Last Jedi. Since there are strong parallels between Ben and his grandfather, we may assume that this six-chapter instalment will be his; Anakin also was left for dead but came back with a wholly different role and name.

- When Anakin was reborn as Darth Vader, he “rose” slowly from the ground, clad in his black armor. Ben fell to the ground abruptly and shed his black clothes, disappearing. This could be another clue. (It was also already speculated that Leia’s body dissolved exactly in this moment because she gave her life-force to her son for him to have another chance to live. Both Han and Luke had done what they could to atone for their remorse towards Ben; this might be her turn.)

- Much as I love Luke Skywalker, I can understand that Lucas did not see him as the saga’s protagonist. The overall arch is not so much about Luke’s heroism than about Anakin’s redemption and atonement. It is unusual because we expect the story’s “hero” to be the one who kills the Bad Guy; and indeed Anakin is, because he kills Palpatine in the end, the twist being that technically he is also a villain though not the archvillain.

- Ben had promised Anakin he would finish what he started. Anakin had been meant to bring Balance to the Force, and he had started a family. Until now, Ben did neither.

- If Ben and Rey are a dyad, i.e. one soul in two bodies, then Rey is in urgent need of her soulmate for her future tasks. She has her friends of course, but none of them gets her the way he did.

So, I still see reason to hope for a continuation, and, hopefully, satisfying conclusion of The Last Jedi’s themes.

  Film production: on a side note…

In the Nineties, Kirk Wise and Gary Trousdale were the directors both of Beauty and the Beast and Atlantis: two more different stories are hardly imaginable with regard to everything - drawing style, setting, characters, development, music etc. This outcome can’t have been only due to the director’s choices, there must have been a wholly different idea behind both films right from the beginning. Just saying.

#star wars #disney lucasfilm #george lucas #the rise of skywalker #the last jedi #the force awakens #rey #kylo ren #ben solo #bendemption #savebensolo #reylo #palpatine #darth vader #anakin skywalker #star wars prequels #star wars sequels #jj abrams #rian johnson #read more

[scottymcgeesterwrites]

10 Underrated Movies of the 2010s

1. John Carter (2012)

Before Snow White and the Seven Dwarves was even produced in 1937, Disney was considering producing an adaptation of Edgar Rice Burrough’s A Princess of Mars as Disney’s first animated film. During its pre-production stage, producers weren’t quite receptive to the concept. The story was about a man being transported to Mars, where its gravity gave him super powers, and he fought with four-armed green-skinned aliens. Back then, space ideas were the last things on people’s minds in the ‘30’s. They wanted something uplifting from The Great Depression. Disney didn’t quite scrap the story; they shelved it for later and decided to go with Snow White and the Seven Dwarves as Disney’s (and the world’s) first feature-length animated movie. John Carter holds the award for the movie with the longest time spent in “development hell”. For the next 75 years, different directors and producers would try to bring back the classic tale of daring-do on the planet Mars. Growing up reading Edgar Rice Burrough’s novels, I was enthralled to hear that they finally produced a live-action film to be released on 2012 – and it was even near my birthday! March of 2012 marked 100 years since Edgar Rice Burroughs published A Princess of Mars. It was like all the stars were truly aligned for something great. The movie finally came out and it . . . didn’t do well at all. It’s also notable for being one of the most expensive movies ever made – and it was all for nothing. What happened? Most of you reading this may even be unaware of the hero John Carter or A Princess of Mars. I find that the main issue was the problem of John Carter being largely unknown because it has been long overshadowed by Flash Gordon, Superman, Star Trek, Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica, and literally everything else that owes its inspiration to John Carter. Superman got its concept of gravity-granting superpowers from John Carter. Flash Gordon got its human-on-another-planet heroics from John Carter. Star Wars derived nearly everything from Flash Gordon. The domino effect goes on. The further you go, the more people forget the original inspiration, and we live in a world now where people don’t really care about who did it first, but who did it best.

There’s a particular scene in the movie John Carter where the titular hero has to fight monsters in an arena. Many critics were bored of the scene, claiming they saw it already in Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones; which is ironic being that the arena scene was written almost a full century before Attack of the Clones. Scantily clad Carrie Fisher in Return of the Jedi? That’s a Deja Thoris reference from A Princess of Mars.

It can be difficult to judge a movie or story by itself aside from other derivative works. When that source material is some obscure adventure tale that is literally older than World War I, you should realize that probably not a lot of people have heard about it nowadays.

The film suffers from two other major points: the runtime and the combination of books one and two of Burrough’s original trilogy. A Princess of Mars is a rather simple tale of a man saving a princess on Mars. Its sequel, The Gods of Mars, goes into more complex matters as the evil Therns are revealed as a group of mysterious aliens controlling all culture and life on Mars for their benefit. The movie John Carter tries to combine the two, and I see why. Modern audiences are uninterested in seeing another adventure tale about a guy saving a princess. Ironically, that would have worked much better in the 1930’s, but the Disney board at the time was like, “Space? What’s that? Mars? What’s this newfangled spaceship business?” John Carter ultimately had the unfortunate and unique experiences of being both too ahead and too dated for its time.

I still highly recommend it because the production value is amazing and it’s still highly entertaining. The score is fantastic (Michael Giacchino), and the performances are great, albeit with some cheesy dialogue. The screenwriters added more depth to the character of John Carter that really pulls some heartstrings, especially during one particular scene where he’s bashing hundreds of aliens to a pulp.Unfortunately, the poor performance of John Carter prevented its sequel and the planned trilogy from ever being produced. At the end of the day, I’m still content with seeing the world’s very first space adventure that ultimately inspired Star Wars finally put on screen. 2. Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)

I was frankly surprised when nobody else cared about a Solo movie coming out. Having read A.C. Crispin’s Han Solo Trilogy when I was a kid and having overall grown up loving the character, I thought ANY Star Wars fan would be pumped. That was the issue right away before the movie even hit theaters – Nobody. Fucking. Cared. The previous year’s Last Jedi left a sour, divisive taste in the Star Wars fandom. Toxic fans threw their hands in uproar and an entire debacle unseen since the prequel trilogy exploded. Like with Jake Lloyd in The Phantom Menace, fans had continually harassed and bullied Kelly Marie Tran for playing Rose to the point where she quit Instagram. YouTube videos nearly 30 minutes long were dedicated to bashing the film and “SJW culture” and “virtue signaling”. The entire debacle was a nightmare that makes me shudder to even think about. It was like everyone was tired of Star Wars by the next year. Some people like to say that “Star Wars fatigue” wasn’t the thing because nobody was tired of Marvel movies. I disagree. First of all, I witnessed immediate responses to people’s reactions at the trailer. They said “I don’t care” and “Why do we need that?”. Second, Star Wars and Marvel are two completely different universes. Marvel has a nearly infinite range of various stories with various atmospheres and moods and characters. One Marvel fan can “specialize” in Doctor Strange while another mostly loves Thor. Star Wars follows the same group of characters over the same damn story that we’ve already known for the past 42 years. Like John Carter, Solo had the same problem by being too confident and throwing too much money into its production. Solo also happens to be on the list of the most expensive movies ever made. Its poor performance and inability to make a return on the total costs scrapped the possibility of any more future standalone Star Wars films. Further dissections of why it didn’t work out vary. Some people hate the droid L3-37 and claim unnecessary SJW content. I disagree with that too. In my rulebook, something in a story is not unnecessary unless it proves crucial to the plot; L3-37 is the reason why the Kessel Run worked. Were it not for her fanatic desire of starting a droid revolution, Han wouldn’t have survived. The idea of revolution is also crucial and foreshadows the coming Rebel Alliance. I wonder if people would have had the same reaction to L3-37 if the movie had been released years before the current political situation; if we would have just seen her as a cool, kooky and rebellious droid instead. Solo: A Star Wars Story reveals that Han has always been around instances of rebellion, which he has tried to ignore. It isn’t until A New Hope that he finally gives in for good. I honestly don’t see why some people say it doesn’t fit with A New Hope when it clearly does. One of my favorite parts is when Q’ira tells Han, “I know who you really are.” From the trailer, you would expect her to say “A scoundrel.” But in the film, she says, “The good guy.” The film cements the idea that Han has always tried to look and act cool but deep down he gives in to doing the right thing, which separates him from the other scoundrels at the cantina. It’s because of this adventure that he ends up helping to blow up the Death Star later on. Also, like John Carter, the score is absolutely fantastic. I could go on about it but that would derail the topic for another time. 3. The Gift (2015)

I ended up seeing this movie on a whim by myself after someone bailed on me at the last minute to hang out. I had nothing to do but wanted to do something and checked what was playing in theaters at the time at my local theater. The synopsis hadn’t told me enough about what was really going on while at the same time enticing me. Jason Bateman though really surprised me in this role.I really don’t want to give anything away other than what you can find on the basic synopsis. Jason Bateman is married to Rebecca Hall and the two share a completely content life, until an old school friend of Jason’s starts visiting them. Joel Edgerton plays the school friend, and it’s quite amazing that he both wrote and directed this film too. 4. Prisoners (2013)

This movie was great – and absolutely nobody talks about it. I recall wanting to see a movie with my mom around fall of that year. We realized there was really nothing interesting in theaters. It was a lull where there was nothing really interesting playing. No blockbusters and no Oscar buzz. We chose Prisoners solely based on the fact that we like Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal, and I guess we also gathered the general sense that it was a mystery.I became glued to the screen during the entire movie. The story revolves around Hugh Jackman’s daughter supposedly abducted by Paul Dano, who plays a mentally ill suspect. Jake Gyllenhaal plays the detective tasked with finding the daughter. With Paul Dano being unable to articulate his thoughts, everyone is left distraught on how to solve this case. Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal take drastically different routes in trying to find the girl.Out of everything on my list of underrated films here, this was the most nail-biting. Highly recommend. That ending. Whoo. 5. Source Code (2011)

This movie is a real mindbender. It might be so much of a mindbender that it’s the reason why people didn’t talk about it more. They probably just thought, “Huh?” and wanted to rewatch the previous year’s Inception again instead.Jake Gyllenhaal is on a mission to find a bomber on a train in a computer simulation. That’s how it starts at least. . .   Another movie I probably shouldn’t explain too much, but it explored themes about a post 9/11 world and the nature of self. 6. The Big Short (2015)

This movie was a hit and then everybody forgot about it. Heck, I know a bunch of you didn’t even see it. I find this really concerning. Brought to you by the director of none other than Anchorman, Adam McKay directed a very entertaining but distressing take on the Great Recession. It has an ensemble cast of Brad Pitt, Steve Carrell, Ryan Gosling, and Christian Bale. The movie manages to translate complicated, bullshit concepts in Wall Street into layman’s terms. Every performance delivers, yes, but it was also staggeringly prophetic in what would come a year later in the 2016 election – “I have a feeling, in a few years people are going to be doing what they always do when the economy tanks. They will be blaming immigrants and poor people.” This movie should have seriously started a riot. But it didn’t. Watch it. 7. Spectre (2015)

Many Bond fans hated Spectre, and it’s often compared to the supposed high-and-mighty Skyfall. I beg to differ. Spectre brought back the fun in Bond without also resorting to the really obnoxious misogyny. The Daniel Craig era of Bond films went back to Ian Fleming’s original intention of Bond being more of a “blunt instrument” than the tongue-in-cheek action hero he came to be known in the film series. And that’s okay. But you can’t help but be bored once and a while by the recent trend of “making things gritty in the new millennium”. Spectre brought back the evil Blofeld, Bond’s nemesis. Fans hated it because this movie implies that every other Daniel Craig movie has been tied to Spectre, ruining the standalone nature of Skyfall and feeling like Spectre was a shoe-in.

This situation requires a lot of explaining, but I’ll be brief.

The creative entities of Spectre and Blofeld were tied up in a copyright battle for almost half a century. Back when Ian Fleming was still alive, he was working on a script for Thunderball with a screenwriter named Kevin McClory. Long story short, there was a dispute on who created Spectre and Blofeld – Fleming or McClory. McClory won the dispute and MGM (the producers of the Bond films) were prohibited from using the names and characters of Spectre and Blofeld.

The last time we officially saw the character in name was in 1971’s Diamonds are Forever. Blofeld made a cameo in 1981’s For Your Eyes Only but was never mentioned by name, but you knew it was Blofeld because he was always the man with the white cat. McClory did eventually make his own version of Thunderball in 1983’s Never Say Never Again, which was an unofficial Bond movie yet it still starred Sean Connery (crazy, I know).

Fast-forward to when the Daniel Craig era started in 2006 with Casino Royale. Spectre and Blofeld were still under copyright protection of McClory. Instead of using the name Spectre, the writers had to come up with another Specter-inspired evil corporation. So they came up with “Quantum”, the evil company behind the plots of Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace.

BUT THEN, the McClory estate officially settled the matter with MGM in 2013, and Spectre and Blofeld could now be used. The writers jumped on it and that’s why to some Spectre feels like it was a shoehorned at the last minute.In my opinion, Skyfall had more issues being a standalone film. The villain Silva was supposed to be working alone and yet somehow create all these elaborate, time-sensitive plots that was just too much for one man with maybe a few henchmen to pull off. In Spectre, it’s implied that Silva used Spectre’s resources to help him plan his revenge. This would realistically make more sense. After all, it’s in the name: SPecial Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge, and Extortion. One would go to Spectre in order to enact revenge on someone if one didn’t have the means or resources.

And the whole Quantum being a part of Spectre thing – so what? Quantum was meant to be the same thing anyway. Lastly, there is some dispute on to the nature of Blofeld’s relationship with Bond. Bond suddenly has an evil foster brother now? Some complained about it. I thought it was fine. It gives a reason for Blofeld to go out of his way to torture Bond rather than just shoot him, which is a point always parodied in Bond spoofs. So again, it actually makes sense. I thoroughly enjoyed Spectre. It was virtually not misogynist out of the new Bond films. It treated the main girl, Madeline, very well, as well as the “other” girl Lucia. Yeah, some of the action is dumb and more out of spectacle than realism. It’s still done with the same wit and style of the old Bond films. 8. Shazam! (2019)

Yeah. I get it. Everyone’s tired of the god-awful, insipid DC Cinematic Universe (except for Wonder Woman), which pales in comparison to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But Shazam! was finally a very fresh, funny, and lively DC movie. What makes it stand out to me was how it ended up revolving around the main character’s friends standing together with him, rather than just simply being an origin story of one superhero. Nothing felt like it fell flat. The humor was spot on. The action was good. You had a really pained, terrible villain. Some of the plot may be simple but it had a satisfying ending. Shazam! has the same kind of energy as Spider-man: Homecoming, but by doing its own thing and having its own theme of what a family really means. It revels in the genre by literally putting you in the shoes of a child’s wish fulfillment. 9. Safety Not Guaranteed (2012)

I saw this movie on a whim on Netflix. Nobody has made any fuss about it. I think it was fantastic. It’s a quirky sci-fi comedy with Aubrey Plaza playing a newspaper reporter investigating an ad someone put in the classifieds asking for a time travel companion. She goes along with two other co-workers, played by Jake Johnson and Karan Soni (who later becomes the taxi guy in Deadpool). I have to be honest – I don’t find Jake Johnson that funny. In most things I’ve seen him in, I feel like his reactions are forced. But his deadpan deliveries in this movie are on the spot. Mark Duplass was still relatively unknown at this time, and played the oddball guy who placed the ad and firmly believes he made a time machine. The entire movie only costed $750,000! Movies today need to spend over $10 million in order to try and make something as compelling as this. This movie alone influenced the modern indie film industry by combining forces with Netflix. Maybe Netflix and chill wouldn’t have been a thing if it weren’t for this movie. 10. The Nice Guys (2016)

I saved my personal favorite for last. The Nice Guys is my favorite underrated movie that I have seen this past decade. It has everything I love in a buddy film; wit and style. Written and directed by Shane Black, this movie has some real zingers and hilarious deliveries. Ryan Gosling plays a jittery private detective, who unwillingly teams up with Russel Crowe, who beats up people for a living. The story revolves around a missing girl who is a key witness to a grander conspiracy involving the automobile industry. This is one of those movies that never fails to make me laugh. I can rewatch the same scenes over and over and still crack up with laughter. My only gripe is that the final confrontation can be a bit unrealistic at times, which can be close to breaking that border of “Okay, is this witty satire like Coen Brothers or just outright comedy sketch like The Naked Gun?” So to me it felt a little imbalanced in the last quarter. Still, the rest of the movie really hits the right marks.

#ryan gosling #john carter #movies #theaters #brad pitt #steve carrell #sci-fi #movie #onmovies #film #oscars #shazam #shazam! #james bond #spectre #ian fleming #aubrey plaza #star wars #solo: a star wars story #solo movie #han solo #prisoners #edgar rice burroughs #barsoom #mars trilogy #a princess of mars #pulp fiction #disney #unederrated

[ivy-miranda-2390]

In Defense of Anakin Skywalker (and Hayden Christensen)

I grew up with Star Wars, my whole family loves Star Wars. I was 8 when I saw Episode I and afterwards, I was completely immersed in the Star Wars universe. Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan Kenobi was probably my first fictional boyfriend and I'm unashamedly still in love with him too.

Episode II: The Attack of the Clones came out when I was 11 and so naturally I was excited to see the continuation of the Star Wars prequel universe. However, nothing could have prepared me for the absolute utter gorgeousness of Canadian actor, Hayden Christensen who was cast to play the adolescent Anakin Skywalker.

My memories of first seeing Episode II are fond because I got to see the movies with my older siblings while on vacation in Myrtle Beach. It was probably my first experience of being accepted among my older adult brothers and sisters or the feeling of 'grownupness' as I like to call it.

So Attack of the Clones has always been an special film to me because I saw it at a time when I was no longer being viewed as a child, but as a growing teenager.

It's also why I've always been rather defensive of the film too. While the film was titled Attack of the Clones, it may as well have been re-titled, "Attack of Anakin Skywalker (and subsequently, Hayden Christensen)". For over 20 years, there has been an absolute and indescribable hatred of Anakin Skywalker and many people blamed both Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen's supposed poor acting as the result of a badly done Anakin.

And to be honest even though I had a massive crush on Hayden Christensen and was hardly a movie critic at the time, I felt that at times that Anakin could have been better acted. However, I was young and didn't care about the script or the acting. Yet, for years I constantly defended, Attack of the Clones, Anakin Skywalker and Hayden Christensen. Partly due to nostalgia, partly to being a teenage girl and most of all partly to do with understanding the character of Anakin as being misunderstood, misinterpreted and not being treated as an adult by the elders in his life.

Did Anakin have problems? Yes.

Were most of these problems his fault? No.

Did Anakin ever try to fix these problems and better himself? Everyday of his life.

He had nothing, but he gave everything

 The prequels were written as a timeline of a boy's journey from goodness into darkness. Anakin's life is a story arch of sacrifice and redemption. Life has not always been good to Anakin. He was born a slave with no father. He was raised in the strong love of wonderful mother Shmi Skywalker. While Shmi may have been scared and confused as to how she conceived a child without a man, she raised her son in love and simple contentment.

Chances are Anakin and his mother probably faced terrible abuse in their time as slaves and more than once, Anakin may have been separated from Shmi as leverage for greedy slave owners. Although a slave, Anakin was never a victim. He may have been physically owned, but his heart and mind were free. He was his own person, always thinking outside of the box, building, creating, questioning everything and everyone. Not to mention a little wild and rather reckless.

Even as a child Anakin was a little strange to people. For a slave to have such a hopeful and positive attitude may have seemed bizarre to outsiders, but that was just the norm for him. Shmi once remarked that her son knew nothing of greed. For a boy raised with nothing, all he had were his talents as an inventor and growing pilot. And he used his talents for other people. He built C-3PO to help his mom, he entered the podrace to help Qui-Gon Jinn, he always gave without any expectation of being thanked.

A spirit that refused to surrender

After Anakin is freed and sent to train as a Jedi, that wild spirit was still intact. Much to his by-the-book master's dismay. Anakin didn't have the opportunity to grow up in the strict Jedi Temple that was built on order, rules and tradition. As a child, Anakin was use to being himself and not fitting into anyone's mold. His original dream was to be a pilot, not a Jedi. No one asked him if he wanted to be a Jedi, no one asked him if he wanted to be trained by Obi-Wan Kenobi.

While Anakin may have been grateful for both opportunities presented to him, overtime he may have seen this new life as not to different from the one he left. A life run by others. Telling him what to do, where to go, how to dress, how to behave. He survived as a slave because he dared to dream and imagine and refused to be defined by others.

Now he's thrown into a culture where individuality is looked down upon. He lived through the stifling Jedi order because he still held onto those qualities. He was going to be himself on his terms. He would nod his head and say yes when he needed to, but off the clock he would live by his own rules. Something that Obi-Wan and the Jedi order could not understand. And Anakin is getting frustrated by this.

So now we get to Attack of the Clones (and the Attack of Hayden Christensen). Critics came down hard on both Anakin and Hayden. Constantly complaining about Anakin's constant complaining, his tantrums, broodiness and being a crybaby about everything. Critics blamed the disaster of Anakin Skywalker on the terrible miscasting of Hayden Christensen. The only redeeming quality Hayden Christensen had that saved him was the fact he was so easy to look at.

For years, fans were desperate to know who Anakin Skywalker was. And so the pressure to deliver a good character that could measure up to the icon of Darth Vader may have seemed insurmountable. And so when people got this confused, overemotional 19 year old, who has no experience in love or sex, but is madly in love with a beautiful young women; and who wants to be respected in a highly established culture, without losing himself or conforming, well people were just disappointed. The disappointment can be explained in one of Anakin's most famous lines.

"HE'S HOLDING ME BACK!"

He, being George Lucas who was holding back Hayden's actual talent to create a good three dimensional character. Plus his bad script writing. Poor Hayden was just made to read lines on a page and somehow make this sad character somebody that people can root for. Unfortunately fans and critics ate him alive. It's only in recent years that people have begun to realize that they were blaming the wrong person. And by blaming Hayden, they were completely misunderstanding Anakin as a character.

His most beautiful gift, his most fatal flaw

Of all of Anakin's gifts, his ability to love deeply was probably his most profound and his most dangerous. The Jedi Temple forbade romantic attachments to others and for good reason. When you become attached to or love someone beyond the boundaries of platonic friendship you become afraid of losing them. The end of my review for the Star Wars prequels sums it up the best:

In The Phantom Menace, Yoda warns Anakin about the dangers of being afraid. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. Anakin's most beautiful attribute is also his most fatal flaw. His ability to love deeply. Yet, if you love someone you will always live in fear of losing them. Anakin was created by darkness, but raised in the light of his mother's love. His own love was made manifest by Padme and then by their unborn child/children. However, Love no matter how strong can be weakened and even be destroyed by the evil of fear. If the prequels taught anything about life, it taught how fear (even in its smallest form) can be be our most detrimental enemy. Living alone in fear and not seeking help is a signing of our own death warrants. What might have happened if Anakin had gone to Obi-Wan and seek his help? Would things have been different? The prequels were not meant to tell a happy story. They were written as a timeline of a boy's journey from goodness into darkness. No, they don't have the silliness or humor of the Originals, because there is nothing humorous about someone's self-destruction. Yet, the story of Anakin Skywalker's transformation had to be told in a way that was real and heartbreaking. To take Darth Vader and make him a human who could feel and understand and love could be an insurmountable task. Yet, you only need to watch his death scene at the end of Return of The Jedi to see that the humane part of Anakin Skywalker had always been there. The prequels were made to be built on that final scene of redemption and human love. A husband's love to save his wife became a father's love that could overcome darkness and hate. An extreme love that defied fear and held on to hope. That was the love of Anakin Skywalker.

Anakin could be a bratty and immature young adult. However, to only base a character by his few annoying flaws is overlooking the bigger and better picture. Anakin was an outsider his whole life and yet that never seemed to bother him. He never cared about fitting in. He was content being himself and he refused to let Obi-Wan or the Jedi Order or even Padme change him. He held onto who he was for as long as he was able to. Then the tragedy of losing his wife changed that. The indomitable spirit wasn't broken, it was destroyed. Anakin re-entered a life of slavery for over 20 years.

And he was ultimately freed by one person. An orphan who once had nothing but a talent as an inventor and dreams of being a pilot. A young Jedi with an unbreakable spirit that refused to surrender to evil or fear or pain or loss. A son who loved his father so deeply that he would fight to the death to free Anakin Skywalker forever.

#star wars #anakin skywalker #hayden christensen

[tornadoofcreation]

Season 11 episode 9-14 thoughts

I loved that when Kai feels useless because he doesn’t have powers, Lloyd immediately sympathizes because he’s been through the same thing.

He’s so hesitant to leave Kai behind! He even stops on the car and looks back, one more time.

JAKE!! J A K E

F👏O👏R👏B👏I👏D👏D👏E👏N 👏 S👏P👏I👏N👏J👏I👏T👏Z👏U👏 L👏L👏O👏Y👏D

Okay I’ve loved seeing this more badass but still vulnerable side to Lloyd bc I feel like he’s always either the damsel in distress or this amazing, unbeatable, savior

JAKE JUMPS IN FRONT OF THE NINJA

Aspheera’s stupid snake servant (char?) has the same voice actor as one of the old serpentine (either the fangpyre general or clancee or someone) and I can’t pinpoint out who

He’s hilarious though I love him

Okay my inner musician is coming out, but the soundtrack? The variation on the original season 1 serpentine theme? woAH!

Lloyd is so desperate to get the scroll back, you can tell he’s upset with himself for losing it

Honestly though, I feel like this is something Lloyd does a lot where he gets really upset with himself when he fails bc of all the pressure put on him at such a young and impressionable age (like when he thinks he should have helped Wu in s7 etc)

Anyway that’s enough Lloyd angst

Me? Crying because Nya is a wonderful, powerful, goddess? More likely than you think

The way they animate the water is so pretty, especially against the fire. Like it’s not sons of garmadon level cinematography (If you can call animation that) but it’s gorgeous

I’m so confused why is the Oni soundtrack playing while talking about wu befriending aspheera?

Baby garmadon and wu are so cute I’m crying

King mambo the fifth? Mambo no. 5? Coincidence? I think NOT!

Little aspheera gives me a lot of hermionie vibes. This season as a whole gives me a Harry Potter vibe for some reason

This ^^^ makes up for all the flaws in the season. This cured all my life’s problems. This is the single cutest thing I have ever seen

UM GARMADON’S FORBIDDEN SPINJITZU IS SO COOL!

The ninja are so mean to wu. They’re out here acting like they weren’t the ones that released aspheera back into the world.

Also 99.99% of problems in ninjago are caused by Garmadon, Wu, and Lloyd

Clutch powers: I have a broken leg I can’t help Lloyd: b**ch I fought the Overlord, evil incarnate, at age 9 with a broken leg, don’t even start with me

PIXAL my Queen!

Poor Kai

Okay is it just me or is it kinda weird that wu feels far more guilt over aspheera than he does about worse things like Morro? Like I get that you done screwed up, but it’s not like this is anything new

“[Ninjago’s] fate it always at stake” I mean Clutch, you’re not wrong

Also, totally unrelated, but did Lloyd get highlights in his hair?

Did one of the snakes just try to eat a barrel of weapons?

I never thought I’d feel all these emotions about Wu.

“We’re a family” WELL THAT LINE JUST DESTROYED ME. Honestly though, that’s one of the things that ninjago does really well. It shows the love and relation between every single character

Also on that note, I’m glad the newly established relationships from season 8-10 are still strong. Lloyd and Nya and Cole and Wu especially

Well I audibly gasped when the explorer turned around and had 7 arrows sticking out of the explorer’s back, so I’m low key worried for all the 8 year olds this show is marketed for. (Despite the fact that after the last three seasons, that should definitely change)

I would’ve paid to see Nya bear up an old, pompous explorer

Ah yes, the legendary green ninja, whom everybody knows has just arrived in a ninja uniform, armed to check the air conditioning

Rip stuffed chicken; gone but not forgotten

Hey it’s the mirror of erised, Ninjago style... or wait it’s fear. So the mirror of .... reaf

LLOYD’S GREATEST FEAR IS TURNING INTO HIS FATHER, BUT AT THE SAME TIME A DIFFERENT VERSION OF THIS FATHER IS LLOYD’S HERO. I can’t with the garmafamily angst anymore.

Also just another sign of how much Lloyd has changed and grown up through the show. At the beginning, he wanted to be just like garmadon and now it’s his biggest fear. (Granted garmadon has changed a lot too, but still)

Why did wu just tell Lloyd not to handle the scroll and not Nya and Zane? Is it because he’s the grandson of the FSM or bc he’s part oni if smth?

“I said I’ll be careful” HOLY CRAP, IF MY SON IS TURNED EVIL BY THIS SCROLL, I WILL CRY

These last few seasons pixal has been amazing

OMG I THOUGHT PIXAL JUST YELLED “GET AWAY FROM THEM YOU B**CH” INSTEAD OF WITCH AND I LOWKEY HAD A STROKE

All of their forbidden spinjitzus are amazing and I love them.... if only the minifigures didn’t make them look like rock candy

ZaNE!! HOLY CRAP NOT AGAIN!!

Never mind he’s okay, we’re fine.

Pixal’s nightmare is not okay. That picture of them is not okay. Zane being banished is not okay.

wow, Wu’s our here like “I’m just gonna yeet myself into a foreign realm and none of you can stop me.” Now we know where Lloyd gets his “I’m going to go fight my father and none of you can stop me” from

THE CHICKEN

Also why is Lloyd, who is known for tripping and falling, sent on a stealth mission? I can count at least 10 times Lloyd has ruined something important or tripped and fell during an important moment. Knowing him, he’ll just fall right on wu.

FS Wu is actually really intimidating

It’s cool how they all throw the traveller’s tea to their most trusted. Lloyd to Kai, Kai to Nya, Nya to Jay, Jay to Cole and Cole to Lloyd

Oh boy, they’re just stuck in a foreign realm.

THIS SEASON WENT FROM “NINJA HAVINF FUN AND BEING A DESASTER FAMILY AND LEARNING HOW TO BECOME A TEAM AGAIN AFTER GOING SOFT INTO BEING TRAPPED IN A FORGIN REALM WITH NO HOPE OF RETURN” REAL QUICK

#ninjago season 11 #ns11 #secrets of the forbidden spinjitzu #soft fm #lloyd garmadon #kai smith #jay walker #nya smith #cole brookstone #zane julien #pixal borg #ninjago lloyd #ninjago kai #ninjago nya #ninjago jay #ninjago cole #ninjago zane #ninjago pixal

[fatstinkynuts]

NOW YOU ANSWER ALL OF THEM

aaaaaaaaAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaA I had to draft this last night drunk off my ass lmoa

A movie you’ve seen most times in cinema.I saw Godzila KOTM twice like a responsible adult.

Your most rewatched movie.

I’ve watched John Carpenter’s The Thing once a year since I saw 7, plus a few showings to friends, so that’s roughly 36 times.

A movie you quote on a daily basis.

Kung Pow: Enter The Fist: “Let your anger be as a monkey in a pinata.. hiding amongst the candy.. hoping the kids don’t break through with the stick!

Favorite movie soundtrack.

Godzilla (1954)

Top 5 films of your favorite actor and actress.

Kurt Russel: The Thing, Big Trouble In Little China, Escape From New York, Stargate, Tombstone. And for Sigourney Weaver: Alien, Aliens, Ghostbusters, Cabin In The Woods, Galaxy Quest. Pretty much applies to their Top 5 Performances for me NO I AM NOT USING AN EXCUSE TO SKIP IT.

A movie storyline you wish you had actually lived.

Pacific Rim, because holy SHIT dude.

A movie that reminds you of your mom.

The Thing. Thanks for letting me scar myself at 3am with cable tv one summer when I was 7.

A movie that reminds you of your dad.

The Godzilla franchise. He bought me every film on VHS that was available in the US, took me to see the 1998 film, the first and only wide released TOHO film Godzilla 2000, and continuing to watch all the new ones since 2016. Thanks, dad.

Favorite movies from your childhood.

Godzilla, Carnosaur, Xtro, The Fly, Mortal Kombat, The Thang

Favorite quote(s).

I know you gentlemen have been through a lot. But when you find the time… I’d rather not spend the rest of the winter TIED TO THIS FUCKING COUCH!

Top 5 favorite female performances.

Anne Hathaway (Colossal), Sigourney Weaver (Aliens), Miho Yoshioka (Godzilla Tokyo S.O.S.), Rinko Kikuchi (Pacific Rim), Naomie Harris (28 Days Later)

Top 5 favorite male performances.

Keith David (The Thing), Roddy Piper (They Live), Idris Elba (Pacific Rim), John Goodman (10 Cloverfield Lane), Chris Pine (Into The Woods)

Favorite year for movies.

Can’t quite place a good exact year, but a number of my favorites mainly came from the early 80s period.

Your favorite movies from [insert year].

2016 brought us Arrival, Shin Godzilla, Colossal and Train To Busan off the top of my head.

Favorite [insert actor/actress/director] movies?

John Carpenter

List all you’ve seen from [insert actor/actress/director].

If you know his filmography, then there you go.

An underrated actor.

I don’t think John C. Reilly gets enough love. He played a really good serious and comedic role in Kong: Skull Island. He could do a lot more given the chance I think.

An underrated actress.

An underrated director.

Gareth Evans. Go watch The Raid 1 and 2.

An overrated actor.

Jim Carry.

An overrated actress.

Scarlett Johannsen

An overrated director.

J.J. Abrams. Wasn’t a big fan to begin with. Saw Super 8 when it came out, that REALLY didn’t help. I have no faith in whatever the hell he is doing with the supposedly still in development Half-Life and Portal films

A film you wish you had seen on the big screen.

Would have killed to see Shin Godzilla during the limited run here in the US. FUCK.

A movie you’ve seen that you think no one else’s here will have heard of?

Pontypool. Zombie film where the virus is transferred through language.

Favorite movie characters.

R.J. MacReady, Snake Plisskin, Dr. Daisuke Serizawa, Ellen Ripley, Mako Mori

A film that was better than the book.

Stalker was loosely based off Roadside Picnic, but I like how much more vague things were than straight up alien stuff.

Best remake.

The Thing, straight up

Your first favorite actor.

ARNIE

Your first favorite actress.

Sigourney Weaver

Favorite animated film.

Dead Leaves

Your most anticipated films.

Antlers, Godzilla vs Kong, new Tohoverse Godzilla films

Last movie that disappointed you.

Pacific Rim 2 was an absolute trash fire

Last movie that surpassed your expectations.

Rampage. It looked like a dumb, fun video game movie, but it ended up being a hell of a lot better than I expected. Hell, I loved it.

Actor in need of new agent.

idk lmoa

Actress in need of new agent.

I still dk lmoa

Share an unpopular film opinion you have.

Jar Jar was not so bad that his actor needed to be bullied so badly. Neither was Jake Lloyrd. You wouldn’t believe how many people shit on Jake Lloyd. Poor kid’s mental health suffered horribly and no one ever talks about him or how much they regret bullying him like they did Jar Jar’s actor. Also Leonardo DiCaprio isn’t attractive.

Favorite Oscar win/speech.

Biggest Oscar snub(s).

Who do you think is overdue for another nomination/win?

I have never watched the Oscars. For real.

How many movies have you seen (rough estimation)?

According to Letterboxed I’ve seen 2,032 films, counting short films.

A movie that made you go ‘wtf was that’.

The Void was an incoherent mess to me. Really sloppy editing and cuts made a lot of it just seem like a mess.

A film that scarred you.

The Thing made me afraid of dogs for a long time as a child

Most movies watched in a single day.

9 different Godzilla films across multiple eras

A film that always makes you cry.

I don’t fucking know why, but Click

A film that always makes you laugh.

Kung Pow

Movies that you think everyone should watch (not necessarily your favorites).

Critters 1-3, Gremlins, Pirahna, Kung Pow

A movie that took you a couple of viewings to appreciate.

Sunshine

A book you want to see adapted to the big screen.

Statement Of Randolph Carter and relative stories

A book you really, really, really don’t want to see made into a film.

A full adaptation of Roadside Picnic. Americans are already about to fuck up Metro 2033.

Favorite child performance.

Quinn Lord was creepy as Sam in Trick ‘r Treat

Favorite pre-code.

The Island Of Dr. Moreau

Favorite silent film.

Nosferatu

Favorite coming of age film.

CRITTERS

Favorite superhero film.

The Rocketeer

Best cinematography.

The Thing

Movies you know you should watch, but can’t bring yourself to do it?

John Wick, Shutter Island

Favorite genres.

Scifi, horror, comedy, action, western, romantic films

Least favorite genres.

coming of age films, torture porn

Biggest movie pet peeve.

characters more powerful than everyone else just because of writer self-insert bullshit, self-insert bullshit in general

#flapjacques

[3x3racha]

Dating Kim Seungmin would include:

A/N: The original post got deleted and I didn’t save the finished product so I tried my best to modify my last draft of it. I apologize for any spelling and/or grammar errors. I hope it’s still as good as the first one.

The OG A/N: You’re actually the first person to request this sadly. He needs more love ugh but I was already working on this on the side bc boy needs more content and I love him so much. Anyways thanks for requesting! I hope you like it!

~Admin Yeong ☾

Crush Phase:

He wants to talk to you he thinks you're absolutely stunning 

But he’s scared he might mess upHe would try to hide his fear and nervousness as best as he could

You start to notice he slowly keeps standing closer and closer to you until one day he’s shoulder to shoulder with youTries to sit by you often The boys tease him a lot for it 

He’s shy about starting a conversation but once he does he can’t stop smiling and the conversation becomes super easy

This makes it easy for you guys to become closer friends

He starts becoming the friend you can rely on and he’s always there for you when you need him

He’s had a crush on you since the start but now you’re close friends and he doesn't want to ruin that so he pushes his feelings for you aside not willing to take the risk since he doubts that someone like could ever fall for him poor baby

Confession:

Confession you ask him for relationship advice or about a crush and he puts himself in the guy’s shoes describing to you how he would treat you Then he accidentally lets it slip that he’s in love with you

He realizes that he totally outed himself and he just sits there silently, not moving an inch, his eyes wide looking everywhere but at you.

He starts rambling and apologizing out of his nervousness 

“Oh god. Y/n I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Well I mean it I just didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I’m so sorry. I know you don’t feel the same so we can just pretend that it didn’t happen. I’m really sorry-”

“No-no-no. Seungmin, I like you too. I just thought you didn’t feel the same.” 

“Oh. Wait, really?”

“Yea, I’ve liked you for awhile now.”

“Then uh, do you maybe want to go on date with me tomorrow.”

“I’d like that.”

Then he nods and quickly kisses your cheek and blushes. 

Dating:

He doesn’t really know what he’s doing but somehow he does everything right and you can’t tell that he’s freaking out on the inside 

Shy baby at first but becomes less shy as the relationship progresses

He’s honestly such a hopeless romantic

Cafe dates 

Dates where you can do fun things together like roller skating or ice skating 

Picnic dates

Ice cream dates 

Cute bookstore dates 

Just starting out in your relationship he’s nervous to do close affectionate things out of respect for you

You fell asleep while watching a movie in the dorms and he carries you to sleep in his bed and he sleeps on the floor 

Kisses all over your face

Long sweet kisses

Holding hands but him being shy about it in front of others

So you discreetly hold pinkies

He’d trace your fingers

and compare his hand size to yours while cuddling

Nose kisses and lots of them

Cups your face when he kisses you 

Loves it when he rests his head on your chest as you run your fingers through his hair and vice versa

Cuddles you like a teddy bear

Buries his head in the crook of your neck

Strokes your face admiring your features when you fall asleep in his arms

When you hug he’d gently lift up and sometimes spin you around causing you both to giggle

Calls you angel or baby or princess/prince

HE LOVES TO CALL YOU LOVEBUG

You guys always falling asleep on the couch in a tangled mess

Him setting up a blanket fort in his small bedroom so you two can cuddle and feel alone in this whole world.

Stealing kisses randomly

Like you’ll be in the middle of working on something and he’d just come up and kisses you then walks away blushing

ESKIMO KISSES 

HE DOES THIS TO YOU ALL THE TIME ESPECIALLY WHILE CUDDLING

Making you flustered by backing you up and puts his hands on the wall and presses his forehead against yours (kind of like what he does with Jeongin) but then he gets super flustered too  

His face lights up when he talks about you

It’s so cute

Having such a close connection with each other like

Automatically knowing when something was off with the other people

Sleepy pillowtalk 

Sleepy ‘I loves you’s

It’s like 3am and you wake up to seungmin explaining all the reasons why he loves you 

Constantly reminds you how much he loves you

Loves to get you flowers

Gets you obnoxiously large plushies 

Getting you random gifts bc 

“It reminded me of you.”

Adores you with all his being

Staring into each other’s eyes completely in love

Acts starstruck over you like he looks constantly shocked that he’s actually with someone like you he’s so in love

If you’re ever cold he’d offer himself like full on ‘let me cuddle you then you’ll be warm’

A parents’ dream future son-in-law

He’s so sweet, caring, and respectful towards you

who wouldn’t want a boy like that for their child

Being so encouraging and inspiring towards you

The boys teasing him calling him ‘lover boy’

He always looks at you like you’re the only person in the world

Wants to know everything about you 

Being so comfortable with another to be vulnerable to one another 

Matching lockscreens

Likes to get you random meaningful gifts

hiding small notes into your backpack so you can smile if you’re having a long day at school.

Plans the future

Wants to get a pet with you

Like any animal, he’s down as long as you raise them together

Planning trips together 

Wanting to travel the world together

Lowkey pictures your guys' wedding in his mind all the time

Then y’all get into some serious conversations about how you guys will spend the rest of your lives together

Secretly has your contact info with his family name 

You being close to Jeongin and Hyunjin

And they thrive on teasing you two

 Binge watching tv shows

Binge watching crime tv show which leads to in-depth conversations on who’s the perpetrator 

Watching romantic films together

Is one hundred percent down for an 80s’ movie marathon 

He’d probably steal cute date and romantic ideas from them too

Like it’s your birthday and he recreates the final scene from Sixteen Candles where Sam and Jake are sitting across from each other with the birthday cake inbetween them 

“Happy birthday, Y/n. Make a wish.”

“It already came true.”

Then you kiss

OMG SEUNGMIN BEING YOUR LLOYD DOBLER I HAVE LOST IT MY HEART HAS BEEN EVAPORATED 

I love 80′s movies so much you don’t even know

Takes photos of you when you’re sleepy bc he thinks it’s adorable

One day he just random grabs one of his large hoodies and shoves it over your head 

He takes cute photos of you when you’re not paying attention And posts them everywhere

Being everyone’s relationship goals

You’re like a trending instagram couple 

Y’all are cute and aesthetically pleasing together 

Him feeling comfortable with you to be loud with and it’s something to cherish Sometimes he will act super animated it’s cute

Him serenading you randomly

Like if you come home and you feel like garbage cuddle up with this boy and he’ll sing to you 

You say that you love a certain song

And later he’d start singing you that same song

Remembers everything about you

Asking you random questions

Like when watching a movie

“Who’s your favorite character?” 

Or “if you were in their position what would you do?” 

Or just hang out and he randomly asks what you have and haven’t done 

He’d love to learn what you love to do 

He’d make an attempt to try it

He’d also love it if you wanted to try singing or dancing he’d be so excited to teach you even if it’s a trainwreck

Teasing him about his diary IM NOT EVEN SORRY HE HAS A DIARY THAT SHIT IS TOO CUTE TO NOT GO A SECOND WITHOUT MENTIONING IT

He gives you the puppy eyes whenever you’re mad at him

Trying to make one another flustered but while doing so you make yourself flustered too

Hums you to sleep

Him being insecure and you are constantly reassuring him how amazingly talented and beautiful he is Stan him seriously!

May not look like it but he’s a strong protector when it comes to you

SUPPORTIVE BOYFRIEND

Gives you everything he has

So dedicated 

Remembers your food orders

Notices the smallest things about you that no one else, not even you would notice them, until he brings it up 

Y’all being overly happy together

THE STEREOTYPICAL NO YOU HANG UP FIRST 

Occasionally chasing each other around

Playful like a puppy

Values your opinion 

Jeongin singing “Seungmin and Y/n sitting in a tree” 

Which then causes the other boys to join in

Seungmin is so sweet to you 

Highkey moms you a lot 

Takes care of you 

If you're sick he’d cancel everything to come take care of you 

Even if it was just a headache

Constantly make sure that you’re eating and taking care of yourself 

He’s such a sweetheart who’s head over heels for you

Honestly husband material af

Send your requests here!

~Admin Yeong ☾

#stray kids #stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids headcanons #kpop #kpop reactions #kpop headcanons #kim seungmin #dating seungmin #boyfriend seungmin #dating would include #chan #woojin #minho #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #jisung #han #felix #seungmin #jeongin #i.n #requested #admin yeong

[auroranotsogreat]

Black Sheep ( a Jacob Seed thriller w/my oc Emily Rose)

A/N:This was the request of @fanficsforheartandsoul, i hope i can managed what you have wished for! the writing is unedited, as always. so if you find any mistakes ( i am sure you will) please remember this warning!

R: M for possibility of using strong language.

length: 2310 words.

summary: Emily encounters a shepherd who is complaining about Jacob’s wolves killing his herd. but the journey he begins for the sake of his animals, turns into his own life.

Bobby Joe was a simple farmer in a village just outside of the Hope County. He had problems with wild animals before, too. But this one was way out of his league. The wolves still kept coming. He tried everything to get rid of them. Cages, traps… Simply everything. But those wolves smelled and looked different than the other wolves. They had some kind of cloud above their heads and they were actually marked by someone with a blood red paint. Maybe even with the real blood.

“This is the fourth one.” The voice from the distant called for him as confirming his fears. Almost all of his flock were killed by the strange wolves. This was enough. He would find and deal with the person who had these wolves.

There was the only place on his mind for the place the wolves kept coming, the other side of the mountain. There had to be some kind of place there for the wolves to stay.

He packed his essentials for the trip he began. It was a shame that he had no vehicle to drive him there. They were living like Amish people; no electronics, no technology. On the endless fields of grass, just 4 shepherds were living across the mountain.

He stood by the only road just outside the Hope County borders, it had been 3 hours without a car passing. He was losing his hope as the sun was setting. He brushed his auburn beard with his hand. He was upset and disappointed because he had thought he would have dealt with the situation by now.

Just as he thought he had to go back without having any solution, he heard a loud voice of a SUV or maybe a 4x4.

* *  *

Emily was driving throughout the borders, just to have a little fun. She couldn’t have a proper argument (or more likely a fight) with Joseph. Therefore her rage stood her as long as she calmed herself down. Driving was one of the things that she could use as an antidepressant.

She was about to turn back and prepare for hunting with Jacob when she saw the old man. He probably as old as Jacob was, he looked exhausted and given up. There would be no one in any circumstances, with that information, the man gained her attention and she stopped the car right next to him.

“Where to, mister?” she asked.

“Eyy, you know where this wolves come from?” he raised a judge’s hide.

Emily frowned. How this person wouldn’t know meat lover Jacob and his favourite toys, being his wolves. This was unbelievable. She nodded the man and they began driving together, to Jacob’s “cave”, the Veteran Center.

On their way to Jacob, Emily learnt that Bobby Joe was a shepherd. He had no family here because he wanted to keep his family safe from the wilds. ‘Good call’ she thought. The problem wasn’t “wildlife” actually, the problem was the bloody Seed Family and their so called cult.

It fascinated her how he could be so unaware of everything, but she wished she would have too. She could give whatever it took to go back and never go back. However, it was not that easy anymore. She now believed that Joseph was her real soulmate, and there was reason to come all the way here.

Just before the gates of the center, their car was stopped by the peggies.

“Good evening, gentlemen.” She murmured gently, she was trying not to piss them off. Otherwise, she and the man sitting next to her couldn’t see Jacob, more accurately, they couldn’t see the sunrise again.

She was absolutely terrified from their behavior against her. She could accept if they would have just attacked her but today was not her lucky day after all. As they were searching the car, Emily and Bobby Joe waited impatiently.

Bobby Joe didn’t understand a thing. Why were they searching the car, and the nice lady who was sitting right next to him? He needed answers. “Why are they searching the car, and why are they talking to you like that, ma’am?”

Emily stiffened where she sat. She whispered a silent curse and returned her unexpected guest. “Let’s just say it a misunderstanding between the Herald and me. I am with his younger brother for a month now, but they still don’t seem to trust me, yet. At least I can wander off whenever I want. As long as I am searched by his men, of course. Look up, can you see the men with arrows here?”

Bobby searched the area with his narrowed eyes. He saw nothing but overgrown grass and untouched trees. “No, I don’t.”

The girl next to her chuckled. “Well, that is the point. But beware, those are so-called hunters. They watch us as long as the searching lasts. If you do something nonsense, or move unexpectedly, they will knock you down. They are trained soldiers of Jacob.”

“Who’s Jacob?”

Emily sighed. Ignorance really was bliss. “The herald I am talking about.”

Bobby was terrified and amazed by what he just learned but he tried to hide his amazement and fright. That man, Jacob, had to be a very important man. Such a badass.

“You seem to like that guy already.” Emily asked blatantly. “Wait until you see him.” She started the engine and moved forward to their way.

A little while later, the car stopped. Bobby Joe saw a man with red head and ginger beard. The other men were around him while he was talking. He couldn’t hear his voice though, and his presence were too distant from him to identify his features.

Emily got off the car and raised her hands like she surrendered. “Hey Jake, I have someone for you. He wants to see you in person.”

‘She is talking about me.’ He thought and got off the car immediately. He was standing as he would fall easily.

“Bring that one to me.” Jacob’s voice was very familiar, as if he heard him somewhere else before.

Emily pushed him gently, leaving enough space to protect him from any harm against the hunting knife Jacob’s holding reluctantly. She nodded at him encouragingly, and he began to speak. “Bobby Joe Lloyd, mister. Your dogs keep eating my lil lambs. That’s why I am here.”

Jacob tilted his head, his eyes were searching something on Bobby’s face. Jacob’s face was unreadable for a second. Then, with full joy, he spoke. “Didn’t you miss your old friend Jacob Seed, Bobby J?”

It took time to sinking in Bobby’s head. This ginger guy in front of him, was his friend from the army. “Jacob Seed? How didn’t you end up dead in that desert?”

Jacob’s eyes darkened. Emily knew that he remembered Miller, his buddy. Such a tragedy. “I managed to survive.” He gently spoke. “Please, come inside.” Jacob turned to Emily. “And you there, wait for your friend. You won’t come with us.”

“Aye aye, Captain!” she murmured. She didn’t care whether Jacob would be pissed or not.  

* * *

“Long time no see, huh Bobby?” Jacob stated laughing.

“Yeah, dude. You look like shit!” Jacob’s eyes narrowed from this comment but he continued to laugh, anger could wait a little while.

“So, you said you have a problem with my wolves? How is that possible BJ? Where do you live exactly?”

“Just across the hill. The lass found me and brought me here. What is wrong between you and her? Your men weren’t nice when we were pulled over.”

Jacob gritted his teeth. That was none of his business to ask something like this. “Well, BJ. There is a misunderstanding between us and her. That’s all. Jacob was constantly asking himself not to kill his long lost friend, but Bobby Joe was making everything more and more complicated. He was signing his death toll without even realizing it.

Jacob was aware of his situation, he didn’t know anything about the cult apparently. Or he “did” know something, but Bobby wasn’t smart enough to connect the dots between the cult and Jacob. He was clueless all this time around. Jacob wanted to leave it that way. It was easier to kill someone when they had no information about what you had done. They all tended to be trustful.

While the old friends was taking a trip down memory lane, Emily was extremely nervous about poor Bobby Joe. He probably wouldn’t be alive after this encounter with Jacob, and she was sure about Jacob wouldn’t be solely honest with him. She needed to save him in some way.

When she saw him with Jacob getting off the room, she got visibly relaxed. But that was just only the beginning of the hunting party, she knew that with her all heart.

She was planning their escape route from Jacob, and suddenly she heard his voice calling her. “We don’t need you anymore, Emily. You can go to Joseph now. He would be worried about your late arrival.”

“I can drop Bobby off whenever he wants.” She stroked her own arm because she was shivering with fear. She wished that Jacob didn’t realize her fear.

Jacob raised his one brow, staring at her like saying ‘I know what you are doing’ and shook his head with rejection. “That wouldn’t be necessary, Emily. My men can take it from there. We don’t need your services, but thanks for asking.”

“Come on Jake. It’s not a big deal. I know you have some problems with the security, like a spy wandering around your own region. You need your men here.” This was the last silver lining that she had. If that didn’t work out, she didn’t know what would. And she sure as hell knew that she found his soft spot, and Jacob wouldn’t like it. He was thinking of killing her right there, she could say that by looking his stormy blue eyes.

But Jacob somewhat found a way to torture her in his mind, he let her to take Bobby Joe with her. Jacob pushed Bobby gently to Emily, encouraging him to go with her. Bobby took his leave with a short farewell ceremony, without having a single clue that the man in front of him was thinking of killing him in his own twisted mind.

Emily grabbed his arm and tugged him to the car. Without saying a goodbye, she started the engine and headed off.

After some time and being sure that they weren’t followed by the chosen, she decided to warn Bobby about Jacob and his plans. “Look, Bobby. You are a good man and I don’t want to scare you but the things I am going to say maybe a bit scary for you. Jacob doesn’t the man you have known anymore. He is some sort of a leader of his own brutal army. And you really shouldn’t whine about his judges and your losses. I am not so sure but I see his eyes that he wants to kill you because of your attitude towards him. Your acknowledging him before doesn’t change anything in his own eyes and mind. So here’s what I am trying to say; leave here. As soon as possible. Find some place to hide, grab all the money and food you have and leave. Don’t tell anyone anything. This is your life that I concern. If you don’t believe me, well I can understand if you don’t, find a place to watch your place at night. See for yourself.” She handed him a paper that some numbers were written on it. “Here. Those are the safe frequencies of the resistance. They are fighting them time to time and I am sure they can help you if you can’t find any place to stay. And I am sure they can provide your leave from the county.”

“Wait wait wait wait. Hold on for a moment lass. Why are you with them if they are that bad?”

“Believe me BJ, I ask the same question to myself every single day. But my situation is different than yours. I am into the abyss right now. But I can save you, and that’s what I am trying to do.”

She stopped the car and watched his getting off the car. She looked at him worried. “Good luck.” She murmured.

* * *

Bobby Joe did exactly what she had said to him early. He packed his bags and found a good spot to watch the village from above. If Jacob’s people came to kill him, they wouldn’t find him.

And he suddenly saw everything. They were killing every living thing on their path to find Bobby Joe. It was a slaughter. The worst thing he ever saw before. They burned the whole village when they realized he was not there. Bobby Joe grabbed the radio with his trembling hands. As soon as he heard someone, he started to talk. “I need help.”

* * *

Emily woke up with her parched throat. She wasn’t in her bed with Joseph, no, she was sitting on an old chair. She knew that chair so well. She didn’t even bother to check her ankles to see they were tied up or not. She knew the answer already.

Jacob would never forgive those who betrayed them. And the thing that Emily did, was the worst betrayal ever. Even being Joseph’s soulmate couldn’t save her from his wrath.

“I know you’re awake, honey.” Jacob’s voice was soft, but cold as ice. “You should know that you’ve woken the bear up. I hope you are happy now.” He held her arms tight. “What are we gonna do with your stubbornness? Ah, I think I know a few tricks.”

That was the last thing Emily heard before everything went red.

#far cry 5 #jacob seed #joseph seed #whitetail mountains #fanfiction #writing #requests #writing asks #fc5 #deputy emily rose #original character #my oc

[buzzdixonwriter]

Inefficient As Hell

It only took 49 years, but I finally saw Haunts Of The Very Rich, a 1972 ABC-TV MoW (movie of the week).

For those unfamiliar with the term, a MoW was a 75 minute made for TV movie in a 90 minute time slot.  ABC made more than 250 of these over a 6 year period, modern day versions of the programmers and B-movies of the 1930s and 40s.  

Many MoWs served as pilots for later series (The Six Million Dollar Man, Kolchak:  The Night Stalker, etc.), a few were attempts at serious drama (Brian’s Song, That Certain Summer, etc.), a couple were surprisingly good (Duel, Trilogy Of Terror, etc.)…

…and most were like Haunts Of The Very Rich.

It’s pretty much a quintessential example, showing all the strengths and weaknesses of the form:  Sensationalistic story, stellar (at least by TV standards) cast, plus enough time and budget to be more technically proficient and aesthetically pleasing than a typical TV episode are the plus side of the equation; cliché’, hackneyed, predictable, turgid, and astonishingly offensive for racial sensitivities of the era.

If the title didn’t tip you already, the first two minutes hammer the point home:  They’re DEAD!!!  And they’re going to HELL!!!

Okay, dynamite TV cast for the era:   Lloyd Bridges, Cloris Leachman, Edward Asner, Anne Francis, Robert Reed, Donna Mills, Tony Bill, and Moses Gunn all turn in performances ranging from good to very good indeed.

Paul Wendkos director, a respected journeyman director who never made it to the A-list but worked consistently in film and TV across a wide range of genres.  He demonstrated an unsuspected flair for the supernatural in his best known theatrical film, The Mephisto Waltz, and manages to bring that same sensibility to Haunts…

Script?  Eh, don’t ask…  William Wood’s teleplay (story by T.K. Brown III, which I suspect is a pseudonym) is a ripoff of the 1923 play Outward Bound already filmed twice as Outward Bound and Between Two Worlds, but to modern audiences it looks like a Twilight Zone mash-up of Gilligan’s / Fantasy Island.

Seven very rich people (upper middle class bourgeoise, if you ask me) find themselves on a mysterious jetliner taking them to Seacrist, a tropical vacation destination, run by Mr. Seacrist (Gunn) in an all-white outfit than anticipates Mr. Roarke’s wardrobe by a good five years. 

I strongly suspect all the wealthy characters initially represented the seven deadly sins (pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth) but by the time ABC got through mucking with it those distinctions were lost.

Not that it matters.  The seven stooges arrive and run through their various melodramas.  Seacrist resort is cut off from the outside world by a hurricane.  The native help abandons the resort, Mr. Seacrist goes off to find help, the rest of the cast mopes around as resources and tempers grown thin, and it finally dawns on them that they’re DEAD!!!  And they’re in HELL!!!

Folks, ///National Lampoon/// did that as a one panel cartoon called “Presbyterian Hell.”  EC’s Tales From The Crypt would have batted this one out in 6 pages.  As a half hour Twilight Zone it would feel padded (it might have worked as a short segment on Night Gallery).

Despite Wendkos and the cast doing their (dare I say it?  I dare…) damnedest to make the material work, but that script is a killer and not in the good sense.

Case in point #1: Mr. Seacrist is of African descent (Gunn provides him with an erudite, quasi-British colonial accent suggesting a Caribbean background), the staff -- “They understand English but I’ve instructed them not to speak it” (yeah, so the producers don’t have to pay for speaking parts) -- are either Native Americans or of African descent.

The stooges actually comment how surprised they are that Mr. Seacrist is running the show because native staff is one thing, but isn’t there usually a white guy in charge of everything?

Say wha -- ?!?!?  This was 1972, people might still be thinking that b.s. but only Archie Bunker would be saying it out loud.

Case in point #2:   Timothy Leary, Bishop Pike, and Carlos Castaneda’s The Teachings of Don Juan were pretty well known to the American public in 1972, and so Robert Reed’s reverend was given a big anti-drug scene.  I suspect the heavy handed anti-drug message was added not only to blunt (no pun intended) his character’s earlier mention of peyote but also to undercut the pretty chilling “there is no afterlife” context of the original scene.  (Despite this, it’s still the most best thing in Haunts… and Reed shows some fine acting chops here).

Case in point #3:  Lloyd Bridges is a married serial adulterer with a clinging wife he can’t stand who briefly enjoys a romantic fling with the equally married Cloris Leachmen (though if they’re dead, their wedding vows are now null and void).  Bridges’ wife can’t live without him and kills herself, showing up at the end to make his hell complete.

It’s hilarious when it happens to Harcourt Fenton Mudd in Star Trek, it’s horrific for all the wrong reasons here.

Why should she be eternally punished for his being an asshole?

Which leads us to the observation poised in the title of this post:  If this be hell, it’s a damned inefficient one.

Seacrist the vacation / damnation destination is actually the Villa Vizcaya in Florida and I must admit it’s a great location, a huge sprawling estate that gives off the same familiar-yet-somewhat-odd vibe as Portmeirion, Wales did for The Prisoner.

But in the context of the story, why go to all that effort to torment just seven people?  

Ever see Johnny Got His Gun?  The wounded WWI vet in that is blind / deaf / mute / limbless / unable to eat or taste anything (his genitals are still attached and functioning; rendering him the polar opposite of Jake Barnes in Ernest Hemingway’s ///The Sun Also Rises///) is trapped forever in an eternal sensationless hell.  Why go to the trouble of this elaborate stage show that lasts less than a week when these poor bastards are going to be stuck there for hundreds of thousands of millions of billions of trillions of years? Just shove ‘em in airtight boxes and stack ‘em away in a hot room.

The only thing that would make sense about Seacrist would be if it’s not Hell but Purgatory, and the stooges’ suffering will eventually guide them through to eternal bliss.

I suspect that’s what Mr. Seacrist started as; an allusion to “see Christ” but the network suits apparently freaked out over that and made him just a run of the mill sinister host.

 . . .

BTW, I caught Haunts… on the Creature Features channel on YouTube.  Vincent, Tangella and Mr. Livingston picked up the torch (or should I say cigar?) from the late John Stanley and are churning out episode after entertaining episode.  I find they strike the right balance of humor and informative interviews and the show is delightful.  Check ‘em out.

 © Buzz Dixon 

#review #Creature Features #Haunts Of The Very Rich #religion #writing #television #made for TV movie #movie of the week

[lauralot89]

Laura’s Controversial Star Wars Opinions

Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen gave perfectly good performances whenever they weren’t being made to deliver clunky dialogue

If the effect weren’t so badly done, I wouldn’t give a damn that Han didn’t shoot first

Some of the later edition changes were necessary and improved the films

Despite the bad dialgoue and poor direction, there’s a lot that’s still enjoyable about the prequels

There’s also a lot that’s just as silly or clunky in the original trilogy, and we just ignore it because it’s classic

The Red Letter Media reviews are great fun but are not the final word on the prequels, and ignore the intriguing structural depth of the films

People who in one breath complain that The Force Awakens is a rehash of A New Hope and in the next complain that the new characters make no sense because they do things differently than the original characters make me shake my head

Jedi Rocks is catchy

IG-88, 4-Lom, and Bossk are all cooler-looking bounty hunters than Boba Fett

The more I think about it, the more I absolutely want Kylo to be redeemed because Leia deserves something good, damn it

The Ewoks are dangerous creatures who don’t get the respect they deserve for that

People who argue against the claim that Jyn Erso gets so much hate because she’s a ‘mean’ female character by arguing “Leia’s mean!” are confusing “snarky but still puts a blanket over a guy mourning the loss of his mentor while she lost her whole planet” with “realistic depiction of the coldness and isolationist behaviors resulting from trauma,” and you can’t judge the latter by the former

Some parts of the Holiday Special were fun

Jake Lloyd didn’t deserve any of the shit he got

The Jedi kind of had it coming

Despite the issues with only shooting on green screens and creating questionable artificial environments and beings, Lucas’s experimentation with CGI gave us really cool developments in that industry and I’m glad for that

Luke Skywalker is ace as fuck

I don’t give a damn who Rey’s parents are

A lot of good things about Star Wars happened in spite of George Lucas, but if it weren’t for him, we wouldn’t have it at all, so all the “GEORGE LUCAS RUINED STAR WARS” stuff makes me roll my eyes

All this wank about how Kylo shouldn’t be redeemed makes me wonder what even appeals to these people about Star Wars in the first place, it’s very much a POWER OF LOVE story

I don’t have a problem with midichlorians

The Vader costumes in ROTS and Rogue One looked just fine

Yoda’s not actually a very good teacher, good teachers don’t stop teaching for the day because their students ask too many perfectly relevant questions

Elan Sleezebaggano is amazing

I don’t know why Disney’s trying to make porgs happen when BB-8 is the cutest thing in the history of Star Wars

We don’t talk enough about how Hannibal Lecter designed the Death Star

I don’t understand people who don’t like Luke

#Star Wars / #long post

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 31 - EDM - Dumb and Dumber

3-2 OT Win

Dumb and Dumber is an iconic movie. It was one of three enormously popular movies the great Jim Carrey made in 1994. There is this one scene where Lloyd (Carrey) and Harry (Jeff Daniels) are at luck’s end, on the run from the law and literally hundreds of miles off course. They had even lost their ride, the 1984 Ford Econoline van dressed up as a dog. The two titular heroes are split up and Harry is walking down a desolate prairie road when Lloyd rides up behind him on the smallest of motorized scooters. Harry utters the legendary memeable line: “Just when I think you couldn’t possibly get any dumber… you do something like this… AND TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF!” Okay, so I don’t recommend that movie if your faint of heart or squeamish but it’s a classic my dad beat every line of into me. I could recite that film to you. The Buffalo Sabres found themselves in exactly the position to make me utter such a line for such a situation. After outright losing to the Calgary Flames on Thursday, the easiest win out of the NHL Clubs in Alberta and British Columbia simply by virtue of the standings, they put up an entertaining but frustrating show in Vancouver that saw Tyler Myers remind us of old days before an OT loss that was ultimately just not good enough. Like Dumb and Dumber stupid crap like Tyler Myers’s two points, or a Milan Lucic goal or an Eichel OT winner essentially getting iced by a separate penalty comes up to make your jaw drop. All the while the lack of a desperately needed roster move is forcing the coach to rotate in and out players and tank the value of Colin Miller who now is apparently on the trade block (WE WANT YOU TO TRADE A D-MAN, BUT NOT THAT ONE)! This game came with the dumb plot element of Casey Mittelstadt getting healthy scratched for Evan Rodrigues. In the Dumb and Dumber analogy I’m trying to figure out who the headless parrot is. Either way the little scooter comes humming down the highway late on a Sunday night when you think the road trip has tanked all hopes for the resurrection of this Sabres Season. Then it happens: “…you do something like this… AND TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF!”

The Dumb and Dumber analogy felt so right. The trials of this insane road trip and the team they fully beat is the best of them: the Edmonton Oilers! This Eichel v. McDavid thing has gotten old hasn’t it? Nobody really cares for that narrative in a league bursting at the seems with hot young talent. Nonetheless I’m bringing it up. McDavid was kept quiet on the scoresheet, you know who wasn’t? CAPTAIN JAMES JACK EICHEL OF NORTH CHELMSFORD, MASSACHUSETTS! Ok, so it was a secondary assist on the OT game winner BUT BY GOLLY THE STREAK CONTINUES! WATCH OUT NASHVILLE, WATCH OUT ST.LOUIS, YOUR BANNERS AND TROPHIES WON’T HELP YOU NOW! Yeah, so this game was 90% confused Santas wailing on each other at Santa Con. There was not a notable name on the scoresheet but there was four goals in regulation. The first was Kyle Okposo, somehow on a real roll now, tipping in a shot originating with Marco Scandella four minutes in. With that the GLO line, somehow the most consistent line on this team in this version of Dumb and Dumber, drew first blood. This game was excellently matched as all of the top lines seemed to cancel each other out. That’s shocking for me to see written on this page because I woke up this morning not worried about the Baltimore Ravens or the challenges of my Master’s Project; no I woke up fearing Connor McDavid. The guy is an animal and four years in Edmonton has turned him into a Liam Neeson movie villain all grizzled and hairy with nothing to lose.

Well the dumb part of this game was nothing went the way you expected it… well except the powerplay: that’s dumb, it still sucks ass. Did the Sabres give up juicy chances for the Oilers when they were in fact on the powerplay? Dumb gets dumber and Jimmy Vesey and Rasmus Asplund come flying into the Oilers zone shortly after the home team got a great chance in the other end. Asplund’s shot didn’t go and who finds the rebound? Johan Larsson. How about that? He tucks it in five hole on Mike Smith with a just abhorrent level of disrespect. So as fun as that weird dumb shit was it is followed by just enough expected malaise this team has gotten us used to. They don’t score again in regulation. The Edmonton Oilers come back and dominate the shots battle in the second period. They climb all the way back; they don’t call 2-0 the most dangerous lead in hockey for nothing. The Sabres sure as hell aren’t bucking that trend against a team not from New Jersey. Like we’ve been seeing so much since the end of October really, the Sabres completely devalue possession. They dump the puck in. They slow down the passes because they like to pretend scoring effects don’t come for everyone. They drop the puck in dangerous places and so many offensive zone turnovers turn into scoring opportunities for the other team. That’s exactly what happened when Riley Sheahan got the puck in the neutral zone and took it all the way in past Linus Ullmark to cut the lead in half. What a pretty first goal as an Oiler, eh? Want to get mad? It seems to be all the rage on Sabres twitter right now. Here it is: Zach Bogosian single handedly gave Edmonton all their powerplay chances in the second period. Oh you bet! On the second installment of that shit saga Joakim Nygard tips in a Darnell Nurse shot to even it up. Goodbye lead! Hardly knew you. I should’ve warned you the Sabres aren’t a safe place for leads.

By dumb luck that score line remained through the third period. No goals for the rest of regulation and I had a feeling we’d see poor possession come into play in 3-on-3 OT play. It just felt like we were due for one of the three headed monster on the Oilers to eat us alive. Here comes the redemption: the Sabres possessed the puck for the 1:13 of OT we did get. Bucked trend. Jack Eichel paraded the puck all the way around the offensive zone not taking a shot before laying it off to Marcus Johansson on one side of the Edmonton net who pitched it to Colin Miller on the other side. In the press box no more, out for Jake McCabe’s sake no more, trade asset for a not sexy Alex Galchenyuk no more please! Colin Miller slams it into Mike Smith’s pads, and it trickles in for the Game-Winning Overtime Goal! You lose two games you should have won and then you go AND TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELVES! SABRES WIN 3-2 IN OVERTIME! And you bet that secondary assist was Jack mother fucking Eichel! You bet! You thought the Bills would be your source of joy today and… well that was a good guess, but No, it was the Sabres who won their game! Surprise assholes!

Okay so the problems are still there. We’re still going to need y’all to win more than about three games a month. We’re going to need you to make a trade, a smart one preferably, involving a defenseman of salary. We’re going to need more than 50% of the points out of a soft(er) road trip. But funny thing: right after Miller scored the OT winner Dan Dunleavy said something curious: “The Sabres get the much needed two points here out of Edmonton!” All points in the standings matter in the unfun language of the hockey world but the Sabres were in a playoff spot before this game. Say what you will about the last three games, what was so especially needed about these two points? Dunleavy will never admit it, but these two points were for us angry, cynical fans. We needed some holiday cheer in all this dumbness. Two points out of Western Canada is ugh. Three out of six? It’s only half but its enough to get us down off the ledge a little. We’re going to need some patience this win saved against St. Louis and Nashville. It will be an interesting week, especially if Jason Botterill makes yet another trade with his hockey daddy Jim Rutherford in Pittsburgh. Like, comment and share this blog because you bet I’ll be writing that up when it happens. Get those sleigh bells ring ging gingalin’ because December has some more surprises, painful and fun, in store for us! I can just feel it after how this road trip went! Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for Reading.

P.S. But yes, I didn’t forget. I said I’d look like a clown if I predicted four points out of this trip, impossible after the Vancouver loss, and then see the Sabres get two points out of Connor McDavid and the Oilers. I am in fact the clown here. What balloon animal do you want?

#buffalo sabres #NHL #Hockey #blog #edmonton oilers

[jacobtmcelroy-blog]

Batman the Animated Series: ALL Episodes Ranked

Over my lifetime, I have seen many live action and animated television programs. Out of all of those, I have never watched a show I have as much adoration for as Batman: The Animated Series. The series premiered in 1992 and could have been a cheap cash-in on the success of the first two Tim Burton movies. However, thanks to the storytelling skills of Bruce Timm, Kevin Altieri, and many others, Batman TAS was a massive success. The show was dark, mature, but still great for children and adults alike. Two episodes even won Emmy’s. So, I recently re-watched the series and decided I am going to take on the brave task of ranking every episode. Because there are so few purely bad episodes of Batman TAS, choosing the top groups was incredibly difficult. However, I did my best to complete the tall task and my hard work lies below.

The Dreadful, Horrible Tier

As I previously stated, there are very few bad episodes of the BTAS. Very, very few. However, those select few are pretty atrocious. Basically, this is the “what this show could have been with lazier, cheaper writers tier”.

102. Showdown

This episode has absolutely nothing to do with Batman. That is all. Let’s continue.

101. I’ve Got Batman in My Basement

Batman: The Phantom Menace. Seriously, these kids were as bad as Jake Lloyd Anakin. 

100. Tyger, Tyger

Who thought turning Catwoman into an actual cat was a good idea? It definitely was not.

99. Love is a Croc

Odd pairing couple strategy just ended up being... odd.

98. Cat Scratch Fever

Man, Catwoman had some bad episodes. This awkward commentary on animal testing was one of them.

97. The Demon Within

This just feels nothing like a Batman episode. The evil kid is really annoying too.

96. Critters

Joel Schumacher takes over the helm of this hilariously bad episode... at least it seems like.

Of Lower Quality Than Others Tier

While not horrible and a disgrace to existence like the prior episodes listed... these are not too great either. They are at least watchable. Usually these are either uninteresting, laughably entertaining, or just REALLY mediocre. At least there’s no “I’ve Got Batman in My Basement” here.

95. Prophecy of Doom

Batman versus... Miss Cleo, the fraud psychic from the 90′s! It’s about as interesting as it sounds honestly.

94. The Underdwellers

Hey Arnold’s Sewer King episode was much more interesting. Not much else to say honestly.

93. Terrible Trio

Talk about appropriate title names. The plot isn’t terrible, but the villains certainly are. One of the show creators called this the worst episode of the DCAU.

92. Make’em Laugh

See? Even the Joker can have a bad episode.

91. Blind as a Bat

“ALFRED, I CAN’T SEE!!!” Possibly the worst delivery from Kevin Conroy for one of the most melodramatic lines of the series. The Penguin has another flop here.

90. The Cape and Cowl Conspiracy

The poor man’s Riddler takes on Batman in this underachieving episode that actually could have been interesting.

89. The Forgotten

Cool Hand Batman! If the villain wasn’t a joke, maybe I would not forget this episode as much.

88. Moon of the Wolf

Entertainingly stupid, but also stupid. Why would “advanced werewolf-ism” cure werewolf-ism?!

87. Sideshow

A bit of a controversial placement on this list, but I just don’t think Killer Croc is a sympathetic villain. He is pretty much a pure evil character. Just my opinion.

 Jason Bourne Amnesia Tier..../Forgettable

We have escaped the very worst of what BTAS had to offer. The problem is there are so many good episodes of the series that some fall through the cracks. Oh, and there are also some mediocre episodes in this tier too. Especially, forgettable sequels to really good first episodes.

86. TIme Out of Joint

Basically, this is one of those. A disappointing sequel to a stellar introductory episode to the Clock King. This one also has too much of the Saturday Morning cartoon feel to it.

85. Animal Act

Mad Hatter definitely had some good episodes in this series.This one was not one of them. The writers tried to institute Dick’s circus past into this episode, but they just don’t do it very well.

84. Cold Comfort

Essentially, this is the Saturday Morning cartoon Mr. Freeze episode. Both of his other episodes were mature, dark, and tautly written. This one is not terrible, but it is just really disappointing based on his prior two.

83. Be a Clown

This episode isn’t near as bad as I remembered it to be and it actually has a nice lesson for kids and parents. However, there are some really stupid parts. Why did Bruce, Mayor Hill, Gordon, or anyone else not recognize the Joker in disguise... AS A CLOWN?! He even puts a bomb with a Joker face on the cake. Oh, and the kid is kind of annoying.

82. Fear of Victory

This is not a terrible episode either, but it feels a lot more juvenile than most episodes in the series. Comparing this to the other Scarecrow episodes makes that more obvious. Pretty forgettable too.

81. Bane

Bane’s sole appearance on his own in this series is fairly mediocre honestly. His fight with Batman is good, but Bane’s representation in this series is sort of laughable. His lines and character are ridiculously over the top and almost cringe-worthy at times. Also, Robin is a joke this episode.

80. Torch Song

I have always thought Firefly was an underrated Batman villain, but his iteration here leaves a lot to be desired. His burning the city plot is kind of cliche and the girl he is stalking is really unlikable. However, the ending has a nice “burning” feeling to it. (*facepalm*) One of the better of the series actually.

79. A Bullet for Bullock

I wish this was a more memorable episode based on the fun but complicated relationship between Batman and Bullock. However, the abrupt and awkward ending drops this episode’s quality significantly.

78. The Lion and the Unicorn

Looking into Alfred’s past and making him more involved was a good idea, but bringing back such a mediocre villain like Red Claw sure was not. Her accent is just as awful as it was the first time.

77. Fire from Olympus

Fire from Olympus is entertaining, but Maxie Zeus and his plot is honestly too cartoony and goofy for a cartoon with the tonality of BTAS.

76. It’s Never Too Late

This is not a bad episode by any means, but I forget it exists most of the time. Enough said.

75. P.O.V.

Remember what I said for the last one? Same case here.

74. Girls’ Night Out

Despite Supergirl’s appearance, Girls’ Night Out is by far the least memorable of the Harley/Ivy team up episodes. The dynamic between Supergirl and Batgirl is fun at times though.

Flawed... But Still Entertaining Tier

This next group of episodes is a decent step up from the last section due to them being a little less forgettable or at least trying a new concept, even if it does not fully work. Still, once again, these are where we are starting to venture into the decent category. (very good for most other shows...)

73. Chemistry

This episode had an interesting and much higher usagee of Bruce Wayne, which helped its cause. However, the plot feels way too similar to the superior “House and Garden” episode from the second season making it a retread.

72. Night of the Ninja

Kyodai Ken brings in elements from Bruce’s past, which I always like when the series does. However, his plot and overall character, in this episode, are just kind of boring and cliched. His fight with Bruce near the end (with a nice touch as Summer is covered by a curtain) was pretty solid.

71. The Worry Men

The Worry Men is fun and is full of fan service at the end, but its twist is just a little too predictable for my liking.

70. What is Reality?

The Riddler’s back... and he either watched Spy Kids 3, Tron, or Sword Art Online while he was gone! The use of virtual reality really has not aged well in this episode... at all. Still, it’s at least fun even if parts only sort of make sense.

69. Mad as a Hatter

Oh ho ho, another controversial placement. While almost all the established origin stories are good in this show, I have always felt this one pales in comparison with the others. Not saying it is bad, but Hatter’s first episode’s plot does not pop out to me as much as others.

68. Sins of the Father

Tim Drake’s origin episode should have been a lot better than this. The death of his father did not leave him with a single tear, which took out all the needed emotion in this episode away. Compare that to the masterful Robin’s Reckoning. Dick’s reaction after leaving the circus for the first time carried more emotion than this entire episode combined. Still, at least it is entertaining. 

67. Off Balance

Off Balance is thoroughly entertaining and introduces us to Talia and briefly Ra’as. However, it just does not stand on its own well. It’s well... off balance. (Da dum tis)

66. Eternal Youth

The sight of Poison Ivy’s end plan is pretty horrifying. Alfred and a lady friend are a bigger part in this episode, which is also a nice touch. The part that bothers me is not a single person recognizes Poison Ivy’s Clark Kent disguise. She should have had a lot of media coverage after trying to kill Harvey Dent, right?

65. The Cat and the Claw

Catwoman just could not stop from being paired with either bad villains or bad villain plots, could she? The parts that focus on her and her relationship with Batman in this episode were great as most would expect. However, Red Claw and her atrociously fake accent is such a boring villain that it takes away from the rest of the episode.

64. Avatar

Batman: Raiders of the Lost Egyptian Tomb. This is sort of an out there episode for Batman TAS, but admittedly it is pretty entertaining. Bruce, Talia, and Ra’as have such an interesting relationship that it makes any episode with all three of them in it at least fun. Once again though, this just does not feel much like a Batman episode.

63. Cult of the Cat

I really do not like the re-designed Catwoman suit in the later seasons of the series. I had to say it. Besides that, Cult of the Cat is a fun Catwoman episode that lets her be slightly more evil than normal. The action is high octane and kickass here too. However, the villains are kind of stock and bland making this episode not stick out as much as it should.

62. The Last Laugh

“You Killed Captain Clown!”. What a wonderful line and moment of the series. Besides that, line nothing really stick out from the pack of great Joker episodes in BTAS. The plot is okay, but forgettable. 

61. Lock-Up

This episode never reaches the heights that it should given timing of it to all of those villain reform episodes. It is entertaining, a little silly (Bruce’s smoke suitcase he borrowed from Clark Kent, I guess), but cannot land the Shoryuken it sets up before the time skip. However, the ending is brilliant and one of the best in the series.

Now These Episodes Are Good Tier

Now, this is what I was talking about. From here on out, I can say every episode it at least in the good category and would be really good for most other shows. Are episodes in this tier masterpieces? No, but while they would not be the first I would recommend, watching these will at least entertain and leave most viewers feeling mostly satisfied.

60. Paging the Crime Doctor

The creators of the show dub this episode as “the geezer episode”. Despite this moniker, the storytelling under the hood is both suspenseful and gives a different feel than many other episodes of the series. The only real downside is we never the see “The Crime Doctor” again in the series, which is a shame because he is an interesting character. It makes the episode lose some of its punch because of it.

59. Holiday Knights

While not groundbreaking, Holiday Knights is a really fun episode. In fact, it is the only anthology episode in the series, which gives it a different vibe. Of the three stories, the best one I believe is the Harley/Ivy going with Bruce on a shopping spree story. The following two are not quite as strong, but fun episode all and all.

58. Heart of Steel

Holy invasion of the body snatchers Batman! The fact this is a two part episode feels a bit odd to me, but it is entertaining despite it being way over the top. Building up Barbara’s character and her relationship with Bruce was a nice touch here.

57. Day of the Samurai

Batman meets anime. The Big O? Not quite, but we will get to that later. Day of the Samurai is a much better Kyodai Ken episode than his prior appearance, but still feels a little out of place. However, the setting and classic samurai style to the story makes Day of the Samurai an entertaining watch.

56. Zatanna

Zatanna is one of my favorite DC heroines, and her appearance here came out of nowhere for me. While the plot and Batman/Zatanna team-up is really fun, the villain is kind of average and forgettable. The flashbacks in this episode were particularly strong on another note.

55. Christmas with the Joker

“Jingle Bells! Batman smells! Robin laid an egg!”. Christmas with the Joker sure is not deep, but it is still a fun Christmas episode that I watch every year during the Christmas season. The only aspect of the episode that bothers me is that the ending is incredibly similar to The Last Laugh. Still though, nice Christmas episode.

54. Mean Seasons

When an episode like Mean Seasons only finishes mid-pack, you know you have a good show on your hands. Mean Seasons is a clever narrative on age and beauty standards in modern times in the entertainment industry. It stands up really well. However, for some reason or another I still forget about it when I do my watchthroughs of the show.

53. Appointment in Crime Alley

Roland Daggett appears in episodes all over the board in quality it seems like. While Appointment is not his best episode, it is definitely solid. The ending is another one of the best ones in the series. Once again, not much terribly wrong here, I just tend to forget about it.

52. The Mechanic

The Mechanic is a highly underappreciated episode of the show. I usually find it ranked in the bottom ten to twenty in most lists that I see. Unlike most, I think the Mechanic has great action and a nice, different twist on the origin of the batmobile and its creator, which one never really thinks about. Plus, the duck scene is one of Penguin’s most menacing of the series. Is it deep? No. Is it fun? Yes.

51. Batgirl Returns

Of all the characters who received great iterations in BTAS, one of the more underrated ones was Batgirl/Barbara. Her character is extremely likable. Combine her and Catwoman (plus a disapproving Robin) and you get a fun episode. This episode fades in comparison to her premiere episode, but this one is pretty good too.

50. On Leather Wings

The first produced episode of Batman is definitely a good one. In a rare occasion for this show, I believe the sequel to this episode is superior. However, that does not mean On Leather Wings is a bad episode. The action is great and it is a good early Batman against Bullock episode.

49. Baby Doll

Well, here comes another controversial placement. I do definitely think Baby-Doll is an emotional, zany episode with a solid ending, but it just feels too zany and unbelievable at times. Despite that opinion, Baby Doll is one of the more interesting original villains introduced in this show. She’s certainly a lot better here than in “Love is a Croc”.

48. Second Chance

While The Riddler will always be my favorite Batman villain, I personally believe Two-Face was the best and most consistently written villain in this series. All of the episodes based around him are good, but that also means some fade into the mix. Second Chance is one of those due to Judgment Day using a similar twist in a little better way. That is not to say Second Chance is not good. Because it definitely is. 

47. Beware the Creeper

Woah, what a zany, fun episode. This could also be one of the most risque in the series too, especially due to the very seductive, and hilarious, Harley Quinn inside the pie mix dance for her and the Joker’s anniversary. The Creeper himself is a crazier version of the Joker, created in the same way the Joker was in the 1989 film. I did not think a crazier version of the Joker was possible, but alas here he is. While I do not think this episode reaches quite the heights it could, the Joker screaming in fear to get away from the “crazy guy” is never not funny.

These Are Really Good Tier

Well, you read the tier name. Let’s continue.

46. The Strange Secret of Bruce Wayne

Now, this is what I am talking about. An interesting plot, a great early series supervillain team up, and a hilarious twist make Dr. Strange’s lone appearance on BTAS a good one. My only real complaint is Bruce makes some uncharacteristically stupid decisions in this episode that propels the plot into motion.

45. Vendetta

Killer Croc has never been amongst my favorite Batman villains, but this tautly written episode makes the best use of (solo) Croc in the series. Besides Croc’s appearance here, the Batman/Bullock relationship is explored and is made a central focus of this episode. As one may expect, I like that. 

44. You Scratch My Back

As previously stated, Catwoman had some real duds in this series. However, her later appearances tended to be solid. Teaming Catwoman up with a rebellious and somewhat angsty Nightwing was a smart move by the writers here. While I saw the twist of the episode coming, it was still really entertaining and made for one of Selina’s best episodes of the series.

43. The Ultimate Thrill

So... this could be one of the racier episodes of non-adult cartoons I have seen. Roxy Rocket mounts a rocket for a large portion of the episode, gets off due to Batman chasing her, and is half-dressed a large amount of time. I can understand why this episode was skipped when it aired later on. Besides what I mentioned, The Ultimate Thrill is a really solid episode with really nice action setpieces. It all feels a little... strange, but still a good episode.

42. Legends of the Dark Knight

Episodes like this one with so many in jokes only comic book fans would understand are wonderful. The kids’ throwbacks to the 60′s campy Batman and the gritty Frank Miller Dark Knight Returns Batman are spot on. I also love the jab at Joel Schumacher with the kid named Joel’s ridiculous description of what he thinks Batman is like. It’s hilarious. The only real uninteresting part of this episode is the frame story.

41. Riddler’s Reform

Of all of the season 2 redemption episodes, Riddler’s falls into the upper tier. Yeah, a couple we will talk about soon are definitely better, but Nygma’s reform path is a good one. I like how Ed actually sort of wants to reform in this episode but is just to obsessed with riddling Batman and Robin to actually reform. Oh, and the ending is executed really, really well.

40. Read My Lips

I have always found the Ventriloquist to be an underrated Batman villain despite how silly he is in premise. The writers of the animated series always utilized the character’s multiple personality syndrome really well and in the most realistic way possible. As one may guess, the character’s premiere episode was really good. However, (unpopular opinion) I think some of his later episodes are a nice step up.

39. Joker’s Favor

How does the average Gotham citizen view the Joker? Well, similarly to how most of us would view a homicidal maniac it ends up. Joker’s relentless torture of an average guy is an interesting idea for an episode that is well executed throughout. Another plus is this episode created Harley Quinn. So, there’s that. Oh, by the way, that makeshift bat signal would not have worked if Bruce was 100 feet further ahead. 

38. Nothing to Fear

Besides one misstep of an episode, Scarecrow is another villain with a tremendous track record in BTAS. His premiere episode is a great introduction to the character and slowly introduces who the character actually is and why his motives are what they are. Crane’s later episodes are mostly improvements, so we will talk more about those soon.

37.  Shadow of the Bat

As I said earlier, Batgirl’s representation in this series is well done. The way the writers introduced Barbara first similarly to the way the writers introduced Harvey Dent and Two-Face gave viewers a basis for the character early. As most two part episodes in this series, Shadow is great. The slow burn of Batgirl being looked at as a joke to a somewhat reliable ally for Batman and Robin is written well.

36. Deep Freeze

Backing up Heart of Ice was an almost impossible task. While Deep Freeze is a lesser episode in comparison to the aforementioned masterpiece, Deep Freeze is a terrific Mr. Freeze episode... even though it inspired the plot of Batman and Robin. Despite that, the emotion is still here and Mr. Freeze’s voice is still kick-ass.

35. Mudslide

Similarly to Deep Freeze, Mudslide is a small step down from its predecessor, but Feat of Clay was one of the best of the series. So, take that as it is. Mudslide continues the tragic downfall of the drug addict Matt Hagan and his yearning to become fully human again. This episode does a stellar job at showing showing what desperation can do to those most in need of a cure to their ails.

34. Birds of a Feather

The Penguin had a few major clunkers in this series, but Birds of a Feather is far from that. In fact, it is another one of the best attempts at reform episode in the series. In fact, I was halfway cheering for Penguin during the course of the episode because of his sincere effort. The ending is both tragic and fitting for character like Oswald despite this.

33. Harley’s Holiday

If one would like to watch one of the funniest episodes of Batman, look no further than here. Parts of Harley’s Holiday are hysterical. One scene (at about 1:30 here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J064TI8WDKo) where Harley recognizes Bruce’s chin and identifies him as Bruce Wayne rather than Batman is brilliant. In fact, all of Harley’s interactions with Bats in this episode are. A certain other comedic Joker episode beats this one out, but Harley shines here big time.

32. Joker’s Millions

Remember that Joker episode I mentioned one episode ago? Well here it is. Joker’s Millions is probably the funniest episode of the series. The fake Harley Quinn and tryouts to be the new Harley Quinn are possibly one of the funniest scenes of the series. (another certain Joker scene takes the cake though...). I found the twist a little predictable, but this episode is perfect if you want some Batman action and laughs at the same time.

31. House and Garden

Of the reform episodes of the series, this is probably my second favorite overall. Poison Ivy somehow becomes sympathetic and really disturbing in the same episode with a perfect mix. Without revealing spoilers, the twist is revealed in an effective, slow-burning manner.  Just give this one a watch. You will not regret it.

30. See No Evil

If I had to rank the most underrated or overlooked episodes of BTAS, See No Evil would easily make the cut on that list. Why is this exactly? Mainly, this episode is genuinely really, really creepy. A man with an invisible suit could have been a lame and cliched cartoon villain, but like with many other things, Batman did it right. The episode has some stellar dialogue, action, and a surprisingly funny moment in it. Oh, and Batman has one of his coolest lines of the series near the end.

29. Never Fear

Never Fear, one of the Scarecrow’s best episodes, dares to answer the question: what would Batman be like if he killed people? Never Fear uses the opposite formula (literally in a way) than the rest of the Scarecrow episodes as his fear toxin in this episode gives the unlucky victim no fear rather than all the fear in the world. Its effect on Batman alone makes this a fantastic episode. The guy takes out alligators with his bare hands in this episode for God’s sake.

28. Harley and Ivy

A Harley Quinn/Poison Ivy team-up episode did not have to work, but fortunately for everyone, it did. This is one of the first episodes to show what Harley could do without the guidance of her “Puddin’”, and the added new element to her character improved it even more. Poison Ivy is fantastic here as well in the mentor role to criminal noob Harley. Oh, the Joker’s material here is as good always too.

27. Dreams in Darkness

The best Scarecrow episodes are the ones that ask the most questions. Here, what if Batman was insane? Dreams in Darkness is my favorite of the many great Scarecrow episodes due to the challenge of Batman facing off against his sanity, (something he also does in a certain Mad Hatter episode...) which is something we do not see that often. The narrative all the way up to the ending with giant versions of his rogues gallery makes Darkness ultimately satisfying.

26. His Silicon Soul

I love many things about His Silicon Soul. First, the animation was done by Sunrise, the animator for Cowboy Bebop, Outlaw Star, Gundam Wing, and The Big O. In fact, this episode was the single biggest influence on Sunrise on The Big O’s creation. That anime was essentially BTAS in look, characters, and tone. Good show. Another discussion for another time though. Back to the episode, this use of HARDAC was much better than the first time. Creating another Batman and sticking him in Gotham was more clever and deeper than the prior two-parter combined. The ending is also a work of art.

The Elite

During the NCAA basketball season, the polls and pundits keep a Top 25 list of the best 25 teams in the sport at the time. These teams are powerhouses, the best of the bunch, and not surpassed by any others. Same can be said here. Out of all the wonderful episodes of BTAS, these are almost the best of the best.

25. Pretty Poison

While I have made many obvious and repetitive statements while making this list, I will say again Batman did a fantastic job of establishing its villains before they became villains. Pretty Poison establishes Harvey Dent as one of Bruce’s best friends before ongoing his transformation, and it pays dividends later on. As for this episode itself, Poison Ivy is established early as one of the most dangerous re-occurring villains of the show. She is seductive, tough, and clever all at the same time. Her plot in this episode is simple yet suspenseful due to tight writing. Make this an essential viewing.

24. Terror in the Sky

On Leather Wings was an entertaining and explosive start to the series that lacked... well... something. However, Terror in the Sky added whatever Man Bat’s first escapade was missing. The action in Terror is some of the best in the entire series from the motorcycle chase to the final showdown on the plane. Also, the twist is a classic in the series. Without spoiling anything, this overlooked episode of Batman is one of the very best action focused episodes of the series.

23. Judgment Day

Without spoiling everything here, Judgment Day probably has one of the best twist endings in the entire series. I was genuinely shocked after my first viewing of this episode. I may have been six or so, but still it is really clever. Aside from the ending, Judgment Day features some nice action, a mysterious new vigilante character, and whole lot more. Just watch it.

22. The Clock King

While Mr. Freeze is the most famous example of Batman’s rogues gallery being revitalized, The Clock King is honestly a close second. Clock King really had not been utilized since the 1960′s as a Batman foe, so using a gimmicky, sort of goofy villain here in a 1990′s cartoon was a shock. Luckily for the show, they had world class writers that converted Clock King into a gimmicky, but psychotic, vengeful villain. After being late for once ruined his life, Temple Fugate devoted his life to trying to humiliate and murder Mayor Hill in, of course, a time-themed way. This episode could have been really silly, but Clock King ends up being a fantastic villain in a well-paced, action packed episode of Batman.

21. Joker’s Wild

Of all the wonderful Joker episodes, I find this one to be the most overlooked and underrated. The episode starts off with a fun interaction between Joker and Poison Ivy, kind of like the awkward best friend who hates her friend’s boyfriend type of situation. After setting his sites on destroying a new casino designed after him, the Joker is actually shown escaping Arkham, which is a rare occasion in the series. What follows is a brilliant scene where Bruce Wayne eggs on the real Joker, high octane action, and the expected brand of humor. Simple, but great.

20. Catwalk

Now we are finally talking, Selina Kyle. Catwalk is one of Catwoman’s final episodes of the series, and it ends up being her best by far. After giving up her life up as Catwoman, Selina is trying to blend in with the real world with the aid of Bruce, but it just is not working. Subsequently, Kyle is given an offer by another certain rogue that she cannot turn down. Thus, Catwoman returns. What makes this episode strong is the twist, the dynamics between Batman, the other villain, and of course Catwoman. She gets to be more of a villain this episode, or at least more gray, and that is how it should be. Good job Mr. Altieri.

19. Old Wounds

After the events of Robin’s Reckoning, one could start to tell the relationship between Bruce and Dick was starting to weaken through their differences. A major wrench was thrown into that already strained relationship when Barbara played her hand as Batgirl. Thus, we have Old Wounds, one of the best flashback episodes of the series. Without getting into spoiler territory, a traumatic event on the night of Dick’s graduation from college, when Dick was already fed up at Bruce for pulling him away from, almost completely severed the head off their relationship. While the ultimate reason is a bit of misunderstanding and involved jealousy, it is really sad to watch unwind even if we know what is coming. Nightwing’s mullet suck still though.

18. Over the Edge

Let me get this out of the way. Over the Edge could have easily been a top 5 episode if the ending was not such a cop-out.  *sighs* Oh well I guess. But seriously, other than the asspull of an ending, Over the Edge is the most suspenseful episode of the entire series without a doubt. Without spoiling things again, shit hits the fan about five minutes in here and everything snowballs from there. Watching it is thrilling, unnerving, and feels nothing like most of the other episodes of the series. Seriously. When a certain other baddie comes in at the end (in a much better appearance than his first, mind you...), things get even more intense. Give this one a try even if the ending leaves something to be desired.

17. Perchance to Dream

Once again, I will start on the only tiny negative of this episode. If you know the villains’ theme music like I do, you will know who the villain is in this episode early on. Anyways, dream episodes when they really should dream episodes can be very good. HINT HINT. Perchance to Dream is definitely one of those. After waking up in a world full of his greatest desires, Bruce has to unravel what has happened to him and what actions he should take. That may sound vague, but I am trying super hard to avoid spoilers in these top few episodes. Just watch this one and wait for a wonderful ending and a great dual performance from Kevin Conroy.

16. The Laughing Fish

Who would have thought an episode having to do with copyright law and patents would be the Joker’s best episode? Not me. But, The Laughing Fish is indeed my favorite Joker episode (where the focus is on his plots). After making nets full of fish in Gotham harbor carry his signature smile, the Joker tries to patent the Joker fish. After being denied, old Jack Napier takes revenge on everyone who stopped his original plan in a demented, funny, and tightly written plot. Hell, there is a scene where the Joker dresses up like the Gorton fisherman. This episode is a blast.

15. Growing Pains

Well, I feel depressed after watching this one. Growing Pains is one of the most heart-wrenching episodes of the animated series. Not only is it painful for the viewer, but even moreso for Tim Drake’s Robin. I feel like this is the best utilization of his character. After not listening to Batman’s advice, Robin gets more wrapped into helping a young girl who is seemingly running away from her abusive father. This plot brings back Drake’s relationship with his own father and his empathy for others he sometimes lacks in other episodes. Oh, and the twist is brilliant and connects the later episodes to the original series satisfyingly. 

14. Double Talk

Ah, the best redemption episode of the series. Not only is Double Talk my second favorite episode in the later seasons, but it is one of my favorite dramatic episodes of the entire series. The Ventriloquist could have easily been a joke of a villain, but he has several stellar episodes in this series. Out of all them, Double Talk is definitely the best. The audience is cheering for Wesker to get over his issues, and his battle to overcome them is suspenseful and well written. The ending is poetic as can be, and I love it. Give this overlooked episode a watch and you will not regret it.

13. Feat of Clay

The downfall of Matt Hagan is one of the most depressing storylines of the entire series. The allegory for drug addiction with Matt’s reliance on Renuyu and the awful things he would do for just a little bit of it is a true tragedy. The allegory went over my head in my younger years, but watching now after seeing several people I have known my entire life struggle with addiction, the episode has a heavier hit. The two-parter’s first half ends possibly on the most horrific scene of the series. Anyone who has seen this knows what I am talking about. While the second half is not quite as strong as the first, Feat of Clay is a top flight Batman episode. 

12. Robin’s Reckoning

Speaking of depressing two-parters, Robin’s Reckoning is the closest thing to a tear-jerker in the series. The scene where Dick leaves the circus left the production staff silent for several minutes supposedly because of how emotional it was. While Robin’s Reckoning is one of the many Robin origin stories in existence, it is definitely one of the best ones. The raw emotion makes RR one of the best episodes of the series. Robin’s decision at the end of the second episode is tense. Maybe that is why it won a Daytime Emmy.

11. Harlequinade

Have I stated on this list before that I really like Harley Quinn and her episodes? I guess I have. Out of all of them, this is my... second favorite. Tough decision. It is painful making this one miss the top ten. Especially after Harley’s rendition of Say We’re Sweethearts Again. And Batman facepalming on a table. Literally. The plot revolves around the seemingly serious sounding plot of the Joker stealing an ATOMIC BOMB and threatening Gotham. Batman teams up with Harley Quinn in exchange for her immunity to bring down Mistah J. What results is one of the best and funniest episodes of the series. Just watch Harley’s karaoke moment of the episode if you do not believe me. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vp6wLXj4-5A)

The Masterpiece Tier

The title should  say enough for these episodes of BTAS. While Batman of the 90′s has so many stellar episodes, these are the best of the best and incredibly difficult to rank. I tried my best though.

10. Almost Got’im

When this episode ranks as low as ten... woah. AGI is the best episode with mulitple villains collaborating in one episode. While they are not coming up with an evil plot in this episode (well, mostly...), the group discusses the closest each of them got to killing Batman. Each tale is fun and the other villains’ commentary on the other stories is even better. The interaction between Two-Face and Poison Ivy is particularly good. The final line of the episode is also wonderfully poetic. Almost got the that top spot...

9. Mad Love

Of all the top notch Harley Quinn/Joker episodes in this series, Mad Love takes the cake as the best one. Based off the graphic novel of the same name, Mad Love possesses all of the extreme emotions and dark realism as its source material... besides some of the racier stuff. Still though, Mad Love does not hold back. The relationship between our two leads is completely one-sided and abusive making this episode work as the perfect allegory for all too common abusive relationships in the real world. Just because the main focus is on the clowns this episode, does not mean Batman is not excellent this episode. Because he is. Also, the Joker says, “May the floss be with you” at one point...

8. I Am the Night

Possibly the most emotional episode in the series, I Am the Night takes the animated series to its darkest depths. While laying flowers on the site of his parents death site, Batman misses a police sting where Commissioner Gordon ends up shot and critically injured in the hospital. Batman, feeling useless and underappreciated, vows to stop being Batman because of his failure. Every supporting character is utilized perfectly in this episode to stretch Bruce’s mental health in very different directions. Bullock and Robin represent the most extreme opposites. The ending is super satisfying and can teach everyone a lesson if they are feeling underappreciated.

7. Heart of Ice

Before Joel Schumacher and the Governator took a steaming pile of crap on Mr. Freeze’s new origin, Batman the Animated Series revamped the character with this well-known masterpiece. Seriously, this one won an Emmy too. Before the 1990′s, Mr. Freeze was a lame, generic ice villain, kind of like how Firefly is a lameass fire villain in this show. Heart of Ice is shockingly dark, soaked with emotion, and cold-hearted to the core. Mr. Freeze’s voice is soooooo perfect in this series too. Not much else to say that has not been said.

6. The Man Who Killed Batman

The premise to this episode is so simple that it is unbelievable that it is so good. A small time crook nicknamed Sid the Squid, while awkwardly stumbling on a rooftop, appears to kill Batman. After this moment, Sid becomes an idol to all the criminals in the city. Unfortunately, this is not all good news for the squid. What follows is some top notch comedy when everyone in the city might want to fight him now. Even the Joker makes an appearance. That appearance I personally believe is the best for the Joker in the entire series. Don’t believe me? Watch this scene. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ld0uIhst3TA) It is possibly my favorite of the entire show. All in all, watch this episode for something great from beginning to the end.

5. Beware the Gray Ghost

Alternating from the top comedy of the prior episode, The Gray Ghost is one of the more depressing episodes of the series. Without spoiling as much as I can, it is also one of the more uplifting that gives me chills almost every time I view it. A type-cast actor who used to play a superhero on a tv show is struggling financially, with his career, and overall emotionally. His state gets involved with Batman when the episode’s villain’s plot collides with a plot from an old episode of the Gray Ghost. At first bitter and not wanting to help, Batman soons teams up with his hero to take down the villain and it is almost perfect. Who plays the Gray Ghost by the way? Adam West. Whoever came up with that idea deserves a medal. Also, Bruce Timm plays the villain in this masterpiece, which is pretty badass.

4.  The Demon’s Quest

The second best two-parter of the series, The Demon’s Quest combines the best of Batman with arguably the best iteration of Ra’as Al Ghul as well. The whole episode feels like an Indiana Jones film, which is not a bad fit honestly. The first part does a nice job establishing Ra’as and Batman’s relationship, and the second half does a stellar job of completing the plot with major style. Talia and Robin also make major appearances in this episode and both really work. Once again, watch this rare world domination episode of Batman for something very different, but very good.

3. If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Rich?

Now, here is my sleeper episode in the top five. I see this episode on people’s list every once and a while but rarely this high. Is this a Riddler (my favorite villain) bias? Maybe a little bit, but I personally think this is one of the strongest episodes due to several factors. One, this iteration of the Riddler is terrific. John Glover is perfectly cast as the genius and knocks it out of the park. His plan involving revenge, video games, supposed mental superiority, and of course riddles is well written. Robin makes one of his best appearances in this episode as a good foil to Batman’s riddle solving methods, and having superior video game skills predictably. However, the most stalwart aspect of this episode is the ending. It’s chilling and perfectly poetic at the same time. Way to go, Nygma.

2. Trial

Remember when I mentioned Almost Got’im as the best villain teamup episode? I lied. Flat out. Trial combines all of the best aspects of almost all of Batman’s reoccurring rogues gallery and all of them are at the top of their game here. Batman is captured and put on trial in Arkham, and the new DA, who hates Batman and thinks he belongs there as well, has to defend the Dark Knight. Joker plays the judge, Two-Face the prosecutor, and several other villains take the stand as witnesses. Guess what? It’s an absolute blast to watch. The episode has good comedy, top notch dialogue, and a terrific ending note. Trial is guilty of nothing but being one of the best episodes in the series.

1. Two-Face

Not the most original choice, but Two-Face was my clear cut favorite episode of Batman the Animated Series from the moment I considered composing a list. As I stated before, Two-Face is the best villain in the animated series overall. This episode really aided in making that true. So did Pretty Poison’s establishment of Harvey Dent. Seeing Harvey’s downfall from beloved District Attorney, fiance, and best friend to Bruce is painful, tragic, and as well written as humanly possibly. I feel like the first half is slightly better than the second, but both are masterpieces and work perfectly together despite a time gap which all other two part episodes lack. So, all in all, Two-Face is what I believe to be the most masterful episode in a series full of masterpieces.

Thanks for checking out my list. I had a fun, but strenuous time making it and hope you check out my future lists too!

#batman #batman the animated series #dcau