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disneyprincemuke · 5 months

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bother figures * fem!driver

being the designated baby sister of the grid by default is never as easy as you think it would be

pairings: alex albon x fem!driver, max verstappen x fem!driver, george russell x fem!driver, lando norris x fem!driver

warnings: ugh annoying men

notes: this is hardly funny but like i've had to take inspiration from my bother-less life rn so i'm like rly going through it rn LMFAO and it's almost 5am here but as far as i'm concerned, it is night time somewhere so teCHNICALLY i'm not late to an update!

(series masterlist) | (📂 the rookie season)

in the almost empty room, she sits in the corner seat as she taps away on her phone a message to reply to her siblings' group chat. she had arrived early for the driver's briefing and decided to take solace in the corner with a cup of hot chocolate.

she was enjoying the peace and serenity with the soft chatter in the background as she tried to lock herself in for the race weekend. that was until she felt a presence looming behind her with an aura she couldn't possibly ignore.

she slowly lifts her head up with a mean glare. she turns her head and meets max's blue eyes and sly grin. "what'cha doin'?"

she puts her phone on her lap as a scowl replaces her dead expression. "what do you want?"

"what are you doing?"

"does it hurt you when you see me and like... not do anything to annoy me?"

"yes, actually. i like talking to you."

"i just wanted to talk to ciara."

"now you can talk to me."

"but i don't really feel like doing that."

"why not? i'm here in front of you and not behind a phone screen. where's ciara?" he looks around, then at her with a beaming smile. "oh, would you look at that? not here."

"because she isn't an f1 driver."

"still not here to talk to you and provide you the joys of interacting with somebody face to face."

"max."

"(y/n)."

"times like these i remember you've got a younger sister."

"what's that got to do with anything?"

"you've mastered the practice of being annoying growing up, obviously. you're such a pro at it."

"how can you say that?" max cries, hand on his chest to feign hurt over her words. "i'm not annoying. please take that back!"

"you realise you made me stop my conversation with my lovely sisters because you saw me sitting alone."

max reaches out and pinches her cheek, grinning when blood rushes to her cheeks. "you were just looking a little lonely. just wanted to make you feel a little accommodated to, that's all."

she stares at him, lips pressed together. "okay, that's actually pretty sweet. i kinda feel bad now.”

“and you should!” max frowns, folding his arms over his chest. he leans back into his seat and rests one leg over the other. “you’re mean, you know?”

“i’m an oldest sister.”

“i’m an oldest brother.”

“i have three younger siblings that made me wanna shave my head bald.”

“that’s kinda crazy.”

“i know,” she sighs tiredly. but she smiles slightly. “but it’s kinda nice. with oscar and logan taking over those responsibilities growing up, we never had a moment of boredom at home.”

“cute!” max smiles. “if i lived with you growing up, you might’ve actually run away for good.”

“i could run away for good now if you’d like.”

“seb wouldn’t like that.”

“you’d have to deal with it. i’ll leave a note on my team’s fridge with your name on it.”

“you need to put the reason underneath. if not, your team will think you’re just naming the most handsomest driver on the grid,” max shakes his head in disappointment. “don’t wanna give off the wrong idea, you know?”

“if you say ‘handsomest’, it doesn’t need a ‘most’ before it,” she says, lips parted slightly at the atrocious grammar. if there’s one thing she can’t stand, it’s most definitely the reigning world champion making simply grammar mistakes. “you should get more sleep.”

“i do! i slept like 10 hours last night!”

“somehow i find that hard to believe with the bags under your eyes.”

“what are you two bickering about?” a hand lands itself on the back of her chair. carlos stands next to her with one hand on his hip. “i could hear you from the hallways.”

“damn, you should really keep it down, max,” she chuckles, sending him a shocked look before she clasps her hands together and rests it on her stomach. “you’re too loud.”

“i’m sure he meant you. you like… swallowed a mic as a kid,” max scoffs. he looks up at carlos. “tell me she was louder than me.”

carlos sighs. “you were loud on the same level, i believe.”

"see? i told you."

"you're moving in with logan?" alex's jaw drops, the tiktok video no his phone left to play on repeat as the younger girl dropped the news that logan's moving into her apartment. "mate, what?"

she looks up at him with a confused stare. "what?"

"i thought you said you didn't want people talking about you like that?" alex asks, raising an eyebrow. "people will definitely talk if you move in with a man."

she presses her lips together. "you've got a point, i suppose. but logan's my best friend. we've been talking about moving in together forever! since i was 15!"

"i'm just looking out for you, kid. you should really think this through," alex sighs as he slumps his shoulders. of course, he knows just how close she and logan are on a day-to-day basis. but people tend to be quite ruthless with women and he just can't see this going any other way. "you know how people are."

she sighs, shaking her head. "i don't know. i just don't think people would pay attention to that aspect of my life. i still deserve to make decisions that wouldn't be at risk of scrutiny, right?"

she takes a step forward towards alex. she hadn't exactly thought of the public implications that this would cause her. all she knew was that they'd talked about this for years and were ecstatic when logan shyly brought up their conversation from years ago.

"that's the basic that we all hope for," alex frowns. "but you know how people are. you've seen how they treat you just being here. imagine the chaos."

"maybe i'll just keep it under wraps and hope for the best," she suggests with a small smile on her face. "that could work, right? i don't wanna have to put down something i spent forever talking about."

"if you can keep it under wraps, i applaud you," alex smiles, slinging an arm around her shoulders. "and i thought you've had enough of men - why are you still moving in with one?"

"to save money, really," she smiles. "and with kidnapper and stubby at home... i think living with another person is best."

"but doesn't logan like dogs more?"

"yeah, but kidnapper's taken a very weird liking to him. he doesn't wanna admit, but i know logan really likes kidnapper a lot."

"typical logan, really."

"you'd be surprised how much feelings that loser's holding in."

"oh?" alex smiles mischievously. "tell me more?"

"nice try," she scoffs with an eye roll. "i'm not spilling the beans about logan's love life. that's lore you've got to unlock the longer you race with him. just hope he's feeling friendly enough to share, yes?"

"so true," alex frowns. "but what if he's not friendly enough? means you are my only source for material to piss him off with. so, 'fess up!"

"can't betray my best friend like that, i fear," she frowns. though, her smile grows slowly. "but i can be bribed."

a scowl carves her face as she stares at the roll-in whiteboard with pictures held up against it with sesame street magnets. she sinks into the plastic chair she's given and tilts her head at the men gathered around her.

"and that's why i think you should get the same car as me," lando says simply, recapping the marker in his hands. he turns to her with a proud smile after his presentation.

her lips part. "so that we can matchy and..."

"and fuel rumours," lando repeats. "i'm involved in too little drama this year. it's always 'no wins' this, and 'no podiums' that... i want more."

"that's not a very good argument," she answers slowly, confusion contorting her face that almost makes alex laugh. "i said that i want an easy car, not a supercar. i've made that clear to almost everyone on the grid, yes?"

"yeah, but like," lando whines, throwing his head back as he stomps a foot into the ground. "seriously? you can't do this one thing for me? i'm asking you a favour!"

"to spend big money on a supercar i have to drive like it's made of glass!" she laughs dryly, hands thrown in the air in disbelief. she looks around at the men that have forcefully pulled her out of her garage and put her in this private room, in this plastic chair when she could've been taking a power nap. "is this what i'm here for? you lot are trying to convince me to finally purchase a car?"

"as per logan's request," alex shrugs, sipping on his juice box. "he said you've been putting it off all year. the season's about to end."

"and you listened to that nonce?" she cries, pinching the bridge of her nose. "you guys are absolutely unbelievable. i can't believe i'm wasting my time here!"

george, sitting next to her with a picture in hand, points at the whiteboard timidly. "i really put in a lot of thought about a car you should get," he says softly, looking slightly disappointed that she's caught on a lot faster than they predicted. "can i at least show it to you? i don't have to present."

"aw, george," she sighs, shaking her head. "it's not another supercar, is it?"

"it's not, i promise!" he perks up with a small smile on his face. he turns to lando with a small scowl. "only lando did this presentation with his best interests in mind. alex and i took the task seriously - just hear us out!"

she looks between george and alex, contemplating if the brit is telling the truth. instead of getting up like she had initially planned, she leans back into her seat. "fine. if it's anything like lando's, i'm leaving immediately. i don't care who has yet to present."

"but this ferrari looks so pretty," charles frowns, turning the picture in his hand to show it to her. "it's matte black and all. i thought we could match."

"that is also a supercar."

"he's presenting last, so i really don't care what he says," george mutters, shoving lando away from the whiteboard. he picks up a big bird magnet and pastes his picture between lando and max's proposal. "so, i think you should get this super cute toyota car."

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#alex albon x reader #max verstappen x reader #george russell x reader #lando norris x reader #fem!driver #female driver #f1 fem!driver #f1 female driver #vettel reincarnate #disneyprincemuke #disneyprincemuke imagine #disneyprincemuke imagines #disneyprincemuke f1 #disneyprincemuke vr #formula 1 x reader #f1 x reader #f1 grid x reader

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kissitbttr · 2 months

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mafia!toji first time meeting stripper!reader

a/n: reader is fem. and since i’ve been hit with biggest writers block known to a man, this one is inspired by one of my old work called gold. enjoy!

toji zenin is a ruthless man. that, you can definitely count on.

he’s known to be the one who shows little to no mercy. who’s soul isn’t as clean due to the countless of lives he had taken.

as crazy as it sounds, toji craves for the sound of piercing cries from someone who begs to spare them compassion. he likes to taunt them. mock them. pretending that he would eventually let them go just to see that little flicker of hope lighting upon their gaze.

a sinister smile would play coyly upon his lips before he decides the latter. pulling the trigger and watches the victim face planting the dark tile as their brains scatter all over the walls and floor.

it’s one way to teach people a lesson to not fuck with him. to not fuck with his business. because toji zenin is crazy like that.

he has no time for patience nor pity.

toji fixes the collar of his black sheer shirt, checking himself out in the mirror to make sure he looks good tonight. who are we kidding though? he’s toji fucking zenin,

tonight was supposed to be his day off. he had plans. before a motherfucker who runs a strip club decides to mess with him about the package deal and had almost lost him half of the money he’s supposed to own,

he could’ve let his right hand man to handle it. but this is bigger than anything he had ever done. is this goes to south, then one person’s death wouldn’t be the only thing on his agenda,

he’ll track down every single one of the bastards and kill them with his own hands,

however, tonight needs to be as clean as possible.he’s aware of the reputation he has put on himself to the world, so no point of hiding or camouflage. yet, he still doesn’t want to cause too much of a scene,

stepping away from the full length mirror, he swiftly picks his black velvet coat off the hanger before shrugging it on,

“talk to me, satoru” his heavy voice echoes the hallway as he steps out of the room to walk downstairs, watching a few of his men pocketing their weapons,

gojo satoru. his right hand man, nods,

“he’s there. word from bianco. he appears isn’t expecting you to stop by” he informs, showing toji the message on his phone. “it’s going to be crowded. but bianco is taking care of that right now. he’s got nowhere to run”

toji scoffs, snatching a glass of whiskey off the table before downing the remaining drink. “good. i need him to see me when he less expects it. owes me more than some fucking money” he mutters, tucking the G21 down his holster.

gojo raises an eyebrow. “G21? you’re going soft tonight eh, boss?”

toji shoots him a hard glare, one where the white haired man only chuckle at. “the car’s ready?”

another nod, gojo leads toji down towards the basement. “as requested. Lamborghini Murcielago. your personal favorite. packed with 640 PS and 471 Kw—i think you know what that means— rules around 213 mph if you consider on going hit and run. i packed a standard aeropack wing if you wanna go slow. windows? bulletproof. in case anyone tries to kill you” toji knows for a fact that gojo is only joking about the last part.

no one dares to try to take him down before he does it. it’s a pattern everyone knows by now,

toji lets out a low whistle, head softly shaking at the machine beauty before him. fingers tracing along the hood of the car,

“shit—you know i need to lay low, man? got anything less attractive?”

“i don’t do less. you know that, boss” he winks playfully, laughing to himself when he watches toji rolls his eyes. “besides. this thing right here will for sure earns you a bird. take her out on a stroll, bring her home. women love fast cars” he comments,

humming as a response, toji walks towards the driver’s seat. “i don’t date. were you born yesterday or something?” he speaks in a firm tone before catching the keys that gojo throws at him,

“no I wasn’t. but isn’t ‘she who shall not be named’ is like what? two years ago? and you got to stop with the one night stands. go get a girl tonight” he suggests, watching the dark haired man sliding himself into the car,

toji gives him a half hearted smile. “noted”

“i’ll be right behind you, boss. slow down, yeah?”

it takes about thirty minutes prior to arrival. toji blames it all on the traffic and the slow pedestrians crossing the road. cursing to himself every five seconds, each time he stops at red lights.

he parks his car close to the entrance before exiting from the vehicle, tossing his keys at one of the valet but not before roughly grabbing his collar and threaten to kill him if one scratch is prominent on his car.

clearing his throat, he walks into the bar. ignoring the stares and whispers at the sight of a notorious ruthless man who decides to pay the club a visit.

one thing he first to notice, the club is indeed packed. gojo wasn’t lying. as if God knew what is about to happen later on and isn’t going to let him get away with witnesses. he needs to play it safe tonight.

as he strides through the darkened room to find the table he had been reserved for, a few half naked girls walk right pass him. delicate fingers stroking his chest and brushing against his shoulders, making him smirk. he can’t lie, most of them are gorgeous and he’s tempted enough to touch their skin, but he has to hold it. not that he isn’t interested, because his mind changed. he is definitely taking someone back to his place tonight.

fucking gojo. he has to be right every time.

speak of the devil, the white haired man appears by his side in minutes. nodding his head towards the area where the business should be conducted. toji follows him close towards the end of the room,

he gently pulls back a chair for him to sit, as gojo and the two of his other men stands behind to watch over. toji specifically asks for the furthest table, with a glass of whiskey has been prepared for him.

toji feels irritated. he hates doing all of this dirty work just because some fucking bastard isn’t able to keep up with the deal. he should’ve known not to trust alec to do business, yet when the pathetic excuse of a man begged on his knees with a gun knocked against his head, toji thought why not? if he didn’t get to fulfill his demands, he gets to kill him either way.

“alright, alright—fuck! easy man!” alec’s frantic voice causes toji’s eyes to avert from the scene of the crowd. his eyebrows knitted, threatening gaze bores upon the man whose pushed forcefully by his men to sit, “mr. zenin! it’s always a pleasure to see you!”

mind that alec owes him more than fifty grand, and this fucker had the nerve to walk in and act like nothing happened,

he is definitely going to kill him,

“you don’t fucking talk to me that way, alec. i’m not your friend. you owe me something” toji warns, his finger pointing at him as he watches the trembling man gulp. “you remember?”

alec couldn’t feel more terrified as he casts a glance of toji’s gun on the table, facing towards him. “i—i know, man—sir” he corrects himself. “i didn’t forget. it’s just that the money is tight right now. the girls aren’t earning amount of money they—“

toji could only scoff, head thrown back. “i didn’t fucking hire your girls. i hired you. stop being a pussy and own up to that. you should know that me and patience never get along. i have one body bag left in my car and it would give me the tremendous pleasure writing your name on it” he grits his teeth, looking at alec with a dark look in his eyes as he balls his fist,

“i just need more time—“

“one month isn’t enough?!” toji barks, making alec jumps at the booming voice

“i need more. i promise. give me one more month. and i will do whatever you ask me to, sir zenin.” alec begs with hopeful eyes,

toji finds it disgusting and repulsive to see someone like him begging for mercy. or anyone at all. that gesture is weak and vulnerable. “i don’t give out second chances”

alec hears a gun clicks from behind. he doesn’t need to ask, he knows that one of the two men behind him is ready to blow his brains out. “sir zenin, please! just one more chance! please”

once again, toji isn’t a very patient man. he knows enough to understand that it’s a mistake. but he would love to see how this one goes, playing along with this little game of his.

toji isn’t a fool. never was.

he looks over at gojo, as if to ask what he thinks. the answer that gojo could give is ‘your choice, boss’

toji sighs, head shaking. “fine. you give me your best girl of the night, and i’ll give you one more month” he offers, taking a sip of his drink, leaning himself back to relax. “no more than that”

alec nods. though he feels like shitting himself because one month isn’t close enough for collecting the amount of money he owes toji to. still, he thinks this is better than nothing.

“take your pick, mr. zenin. or i could bring one or two here? we have twins in the back and they sure are on high demand, everyone has been begging me to—“

toji could only hum in response, not listening to a word he’s saying. his green eyes scanning over at the scene. the girls are putting on a show, showing off their skills, some are pulling a lap dance on a few customers. he cringes when one suddenly takes her bra off like she costs nothing. seems like none of these girls are his type. gorgeous? yes. but they don’t seem to do enough to make his cock twitch,

he’s about to take back the offer until his eyes fall on her. eyes widening in amusement and toji finds himself freezing on the spot.

a slight curvier woman has her leg hooked around the pole. long dark haired brushing against the marble floor as she arches her back slightly. toji observes the way her body moves so sensually yet gracefully, almost like a feather. the way she bites onto her pink glossed lips and how her eyes manage to flirt with the crowd with one simple look. she has them lured into her presence. himself included.

her body—fuck, he doesn’t even know where to begin. delicious curves cladded in navy blue bodysuit, full breasts supported by the cup of her outfit that bounces each time she moves. soft thick thighs wrapped by a white fishnet stockings and legs decorated in white fuzzy pumps. overall it’s quite revealing, but it still presents the modesty she has on her. he’s not quite sure if it’s the outfit or it’s just her,

but only a fool would assume that it isn’t the latter.

toji feels his pants growing tight when his gaze lowers to how her hips moving in circles. in painfully slow motion too. almost like she knows how to tease and she’s doing it so perfectly. if only he had spotted her from before, he would’ve move closer.

a damn fucking beauty she is.

“her. i want her” toji speaks in a firmer tone, almost territorial. he just can’t take his eyes off the woman. watching every single move and a wink being thrown.

he chuckles when she swats a couple of old hands who seems desperate to try and cope a feel with a dirty look on her face. he couldn’t make out what she’s saying but he knows for sure that she’s telling them off,

‘gorgeous and a fighter’ he thinks to himself

“angel? you want her?” alec asks after he realizes who he’s pointing at,

“that’s her real name?”

“no. she doesn’t let anyone know her real name. she goes by that ever since she starts working here” alec informs, watching toji nods,

so she’s new?

“some calls her birthday cake”

that makes toji’s brows scrunched. he is about to ask why the name until the answer is immediately given to him when she decides to do a side split, making her plump ass bounce against the floor.

oh that’s why

“gorgeous” toji breathes, cocking his head to the side. “not taken is she? not that i care anyway. what a fucking dime she is. you’re going to give her to me, correct?” his voice is threatening enough, dark eyes moving to look at alec who nods.

“yes! of course, sir! if that’s what you want”

“fuck yes i do. bring her to me” he demands before gulping down his drink, watching how alec immediately scrambles off the chair and hurries towards where angel is performing,

toji keeps his eyes set on the mysterious lady. refusing to move. he doesn’t want to miss a single thing. especially when she’s on her hands and knees, ass up in the air for the crowd to see and eyes looking over her shoulder earning cheer, applause and money flown just for her.

gojo lets out a wolf whistle. “good choice, zenin”

he hums, the girl now up on her feet. lifting herself up after she hooks her arm around the pole and give them a twirl. “tell me gojo. have you seen anyone as beautiful as she is?”

“definitely not. you just might hit the jackpot”

indeed he did. toji may have made a lot of mistakes but he’s never wrong when it comes to choosing partners . he’s always careful with it.

there is something so different about her and he’s very sure about it too. from how she’s not afraid to tell the men in the audience off, putting that smart mouth to use. unlike the girls he has seen around where they just take the humiliation. but her?

she fights back. just how he likes his women.

“fuck off alec, i mean it! my shift is almost over. i’m not interested being passed around to your friends or co-workers!”

he hears her protest. toji doesn’t even realize that she’s walking closer towards his table with alec’s grip around her elbow,

“who said anything about passing you around? i just need to introduce you to one of the most important men here!” alec defends,

“weird way of saying you want me to suck their cocks” she comments

a foul mouth indeed toji thinks

alec throws her a hard glare, in which she only scoffs and roll her eyes. “mr. toji zenin, I would like to introduce you to angel. she’s been here for almost a year now.”

toji grins at that, standing up from his chair and looks over at the beauty with a disinterested look on her face. seemingly look like she doesn’t want to be here. yet she smiles at him anyway, and he swears he has never seen something so pretty,

“nice to meet you, beautiful ” toji extends his hand for her to take, giving a soft kiss on it. his eyes aren’t looking away from hers. “hell. you’re even gorgeous up close”

she won’t deny it. this man is absolutely handsome. and she doesn’t see a lot of them working here. most are old and married, which something that she finds disgusting. but this man, toji? he is far from ugly.

first thing she noticed was how broad he’s built. the way he towers over her and he’s not even standing that close to her small figure. even the dark room fails to hide the definition of his muscles through the black shirt he’s wearing. and the thin scar over his pulled lips, showcasing a smirk.

is this man even a man?

as handsome as he is, angel raises an eyebrow, not feeling entirely influenced by the gesture. “so have you been observing me this whole time? that’s creepy”

“angel” alec hisses, gripping her elbow a bit tighter making her flinch a bit and her body to cowers a little.

“sorry” she mutters in irritation, gaze falling down to the floor

the interaction somehow irks toji to the bone. he eyes how alec treats her in front him, it would probably even worse behind closed doors.

he doesn’t even want to know.

“you can fucking let go now alec, you’re hurting her” toji demands, throwing him a sharp stare. alec’s pupils are wide open at that, causing him to release his grip almost immediately and for angel to nurse her reddening skin.

one thing that toji wouldn’t accept, is violence against women.

toji’s gaze beginning to soften yet again when he watches the pretty girl before him. how her long hair cascading down her back, exposing the sharp of her collarbones and valleys of her breasts,

if only her look of fear is replaced with a look of comfort,

“you can leave us be. thanks” toji coldly orders at alec, not wanting to be near his presence anymore. he’s had enough seeing that bastard,

he nods, avoiding his stare but not before muttering a ‘don’t fuck this up’ to angel before one toji’s men escorts him out,

“don’t worry about him doll. he’s gone, yeah?” he comforts her almost immediately, not wanting her to be scared anymore,

“oh—yeah, uhm thanks” she shoots him a smile. a genuine one this time, taking his hand in hers when he offers it. "so how do you want this--''

“if you don’t mind” he puts a hand behind her back immediately to guide her to the couch behind, earning a quizzical look on her face. “i want to get to know you first”

“mr. zenin. with all due respect, this is not a date. i’m working”

he chuckles at her forward response, still she lets him lead to the velvet couch. angel sits first, eyes glancing up for a moment and see a handsome white haired man with his arms crossed. he quickly removes himself from the presence and walk out. his other men following him from behind.

and now there’s just two.

“i just want to take my time with you. is that okay?” toji sits back down, watching her crossed her legs as she keeps the distance between them,

she smiles with a shrug, toying with the strap of her bra, “you could do that while i’m giving you a dance—if you want?”

toji makes a mental note on how her eyes glow under the violet lights when she stares at him. almost like it’s so easy for him to see what goes beyond that. they’re so so pretty. prettiest he’s ever seen indeed. despite the flirty tone lacing under her response, she still has the look of innocence that makes him smile back.

she’s no better too. the way he’s looking directly into her eyes should be a crime. his gaze speaks something. something… lustful and dangerous.

he nods, letting out a breathe of relief as he leans himself back before spreading his thighs as an invitation.

“show me what you got then gorgeous”

angel swears she can hear the beat of her heart getting louder the moment she sits herself down on his lap. still, without him having to suspect anything, she keeps her flirty persona for a show.

“my, my—you really are a fucking dime” he lowly whistles, eyes falling to the curve of her breasts. “i can see why people were loving you back there. hopefully they don’t get jealous when i stole you away”

she giggles, a small blush creeping on her cheeks. “aren’t you a flirt. you do this to every girl?”

toji places his hands on her plump ass, resting it there. he knows that there are rules where it’s forbidden you touch the dancers. but he doesn’t give a shit. and it’s not like anyone had the balls to tell him off anyway.

“only to those who i find interesting, baby” he says, eyes not looking away from the beauty as be squeezes her flesh making himself groan. “fuck me. that’s an ass? right here?”

his comment makes her laugh as she throws her head back. loving how genuine he actually sounds when he said that.

“so—mr. zenin” she begins, giving him a naughty smile as her hands finds their way to his shoulders, feeling how tense they are under his grip. “what brings you to this awful depth of town, hm?”

he clears his throat, wetting down the bottom of his mouth while keeping his hands steady on her hips. finding no desire to move them. “business. your bastard of a boss owes me something. I didn’t think i would actually be here right now, accompanied by a gorgeous woman like yourself”

damn. he sure is charming and cheeky. definitely a player. “you sure are a sweet talker, mr. zenin” she tells him before slowly beginning to grind against his bulge causing him to exhale another deep groan. “are you sure—you don’t make bitches wet talking like that?”

he mutters a low ‘christ’ when he feels himself growing hard under her sultry move, yet she isn’t stopping. and she only had just started. “believe me doll, i’ve had my fair shares with many—but damn, they sure don’t make me hard like you do—cross my heart”

her hips the move in tiny circles, keeping a painfully slow pace but enough to keep him satisfied. “i don’t trust you but okay—anyway, what did you and alec talked about anyway?”

“nosy, huh?”

she rolls her eyes. “i have the right to ask since he practically sold me to you for tonight—my shift was supposed to be over, mr. zeni—“

“toji” he cuts her off, thumb softly stroking against her hip bone

“what was that?”

“just call me toji” he repeats with a small grin. “and okay that’s fair—he has something very important of mine. was supposed to pay a month ago, but that piece of shit isn’t known to be the one who keeps his promises”

she hums in response, leaning herself back slowly and rests her palms upon his knees to keep her body steady. her hips are now moving back and forth.

toji shamelessly let his eyes wander down from her breasts to her thick thighs. “i was going to blow his brains out tonight. right here. on this one spot. but he begged like a bitch and i wanted to see how far he goes” he laughs almost darkly,

it scares her a little by how calm he’s being about murdering someone. with the way his eyes staring at her aren’t really helping too. like a predator eyeing his prey. almost like he knows how to make her weak on the knees.

“looks like he’s in big big trouble, then” she giggles cutely. “not surprised anyway. he owes alot of money to the girls too. mine included”

he cocks an eyebrow, feeling himself tensing. “does he now? how long?”

“can’t count. i had to pull bunch of shitty excuses to the landlord just so he won’t kick me out of the apartment. half of our earnings each night, goes to him. saying that he’ll pay me back but I know he never will” she spills casually, then her movement comes into a halt. “oh fuck, don’t tell him i said that”

with a chuckle, his head shakes. “i won’t. but i could kill him for you, if you want me to. just say the word” he speaks lowly, continuing to admire her body. “mind if i ask how long have you been working here?”

it takes her a while to answer. “almost a year. I quit college for this. not because i love it entirely, but i couldn’t pay for it anymore.” she sighs,

“i’m sorry to hear that. what were you studying?”

“bio-engineering” she smiles, “people tend to be surprised when i told them that”

“count me in as well, sweetheart, damn. not only she’s hot as fuck but she’s smart too?” he shakes his head in disbelief. “you even real, right now?”

she laughs, flipping her hair. “thank you, toji—can i ask you something?”

he hums, callouses hands move towards her back, holding her steady,

“what happened there” she points at the scar, struggling to find the urge not to trace her fingers across it,

he shrugs, “was from a fight years ago. nothing major”

“can i—touch it?” she softly asks him, looking so innocent yet teasingly,

toji smirks, head nodding. “go ahead, baby” he speaks in a low baritone. voice so deep and flirty that it almost makes her squirm,

she ignores the butterflies in her stomach when he calls her that. and without being told twice, she leans closer and her fingers reach out to pad the scar gently. feeling how soft his lips against her skin, paying attention to every single detail of it. wondering how on earth could a scar fit someone so perfectly.

there is no doubt on her mind, that he is the sexiest man she has ever come across to. she can feel the weight of his palm lowering itself down to her plump cheek, squeezing it. usually, she would tell anyone off for touching her like that. but this time, she doesn’t say anything. not because she’s afraid of him but she feels strangely turned on.

“fuck” he breathes out, feeling her ass one more time. hearing him like that just makes her giggle as she gradually picks up the pace grinding on him, catching toji off guard.

“such a naughty little girl—bet you wouldn’t mind having that ass spanked now would you?” he whispers against her ear, biting his lower lip hard.

though she would admit that she wouldn’t, she won’t allow him to win this game. she slowly shakes her head with a smirk, removing herself off his lap causing him to whine. angel spins around, not without swaying her ass side to side, sneaking a glance to make sure he’s watching,

her hand immediately circles around the pole in front of them. “dinner is mandatory if you want to go down to that path, mr. zenin”

toji watches carefully with lust and admiration as she now securing her arm around the golden pole, lifting herself off easily and give her body a gentle spin. eyes screwed shut and head thrown back. coming back down slowly, she re-enacts the movement from where she performed for the audience. legs spread apart, landing in a perfect split. long brown hair covering the side of her beautiful features, tongue licking her upper lip.

he follows the curve of her ass, eager to get his hands on them but he knows that he has to wait. there, he spots a small heart tattoo inked on her ass cheek,

angel is a little teaser. that’s for sure. enjoying herself too much in making a man hard yet refuses to be under the spell of a man’s touch. he likes that actually. likes that a lot. it may be painful to have his cock hard at the moment while she’s not doing anything about it but she’s worth it.

so, so worth it.

“you are so. fucking. sexy.” his voice switches into something darker, a seductive grin slowly forming as he thirsts over her. “must have made a lot of men mad out there”

“so i have been told” she declares with confidence, innocent smile pulling upon her lips as she begins to gently crawl towards him, eyes never leaving his.

she halts in between his open legs, settling on her knees. being the little minx she is, her hands find a place on top of his thighs. “i sense you carry danger everywhere you go, mr. zenin—am i wrong?”

she’s not dumb. she spotted his gun strapped against his holster an hour before she was even being introduced to the man.

he delicately caresses her soft cheek, almost came in his pants when she leans against his palm. “why? that scares you?” he moves a few strands of hair that are blocking his view of her pretty face,

she shakes her head, a smile doesn’t leave her face. in fact, he hears a soft giggle escapes her.

his eyes move from the curve of her breasts and up to her mouth. eyeing the way that pink gloss compliments her pretty skin.

“would love to have a taste—right here” toji whispers, his thumb grace her lower lip. his breath immediately hitches, and a groan rumbles deep in his chest the moment she opens her mouth.

“fuck—what a good girl” he moans lowly when she lets his thumb rest upon her warm wet tongue. the angelic look in her eyes disappears and is replaced with a look of lust. “s-shit” it takes him by surprise when she decides to suckle it, head bobbing her head up and down painfully slow,

“jesus—i wish it was my cock you’re sucking right now, baby” nonetheless, the amount of pleasure she’s giving him is enough to keep him satisfied,

“holy fuck, wow” she pops her lips off his thumb. wiping the saliva from the corner of her mouth before giggling again. the sound makes toji smile. genuinely.

“you’re trouble” he comments with a tsk, chuckling at the way she shrugs innocently as if she has no idea what he’s talking about. “alright. up you get, baby”

she gives him a questionable look, following his movement and rise to her feet. “mr. zenin, we still have thirty minutes left. alec gave me at least an hour and he would be upset if i—“

“if he touches you, you tell me and i’ll kill him. understand?” toji sternly orders, brows furrowing at the thought of that lowlife bastard putting his hands on her,

she’s baffles at that. how could he know what goes behind closed doors? still she nods anyway. “yes, sir”

“toji, baby. toji” he corrects with a smile. “besides, if i stayed for another ten minutes, i’ll l cream in my pants and that would be embarrassing” he shamelessly points out. she blushes at that and it makes toji’s heart skips a bit,

“this doesn’t mean it’s a one and done. i would love to see you again, sweetheart. can’t let you go too far now can i?” he pulls out his wallet from his back pocket and hands her thick amount of hundreds. “here you go, angel”

she gasps softly as her eyes go big, shocked by the bundle of cash in his hand. if she counts it right that’s gotta be at least close to one grand.

“toji this is—fuck this is too much, I—i can’t take these. twenty or fifteen is enough for me”

he frowns. who in the right mind think it’s okay for men to tip a gorgeous woman with a rocking body some loose change? fucking assholes.

“baby, you do realize who you’re talking to? i don’t give out twenty or less” he quirks an eyebrow, watching her adorable expression. “money isn’t a problem to me. a grand isn’t a problem to me. come on, you deserve it”

she stares down at his hand and hesitantly takes the money. flashing him a wide smile. “mr—i mean, toji, oh my god thank you so much. thank you, thank you!” without any second thoughts, she jumps out and wrap her arms around his neck,

“you don’t know how much this means to me. i needed this”

toji stumbles a bit, the sudden movement surprises him but he appreciates it. the way she keeps thanking him, muttering couple of blessings has somehow gives his heart a little kick,

a good one.

“no need to thank me, baby” toji grins, holding her by the waist to keep her secured for a moment before pulling away. “you take care of yourself yeah? don’t be wandering too far. would love to take you out on a stroll” he leans down to peck her cheek,

“I’ll be sure to stop by and see you again, gorgeous” with one last devilish smile, he walks out of the room. leaving her still in complete shock,

he is no ordinary man, alright. it kinda makes her feel a bit weird by all the butterflies that are erupting her stomach by how he acted earlier. has it been.. what? two or three years since she had been engaged in any sort of relationships with a man. and there has been no real man crawling around this city. only rats. she fucking hates rats.

but toji zenin? there’s definitely something about him that makes his whole aura and appearance a lot more sexier. again, she’s not stupid. she has seen the gun. observed his interaction with her boss. and the men he had protecting him suits?

that’s no 9-5 man. it’s dirty work.

and it should’ve scared her. it should’ve been a warning made for her to run and avoid him because he’s a man that carries danger everywhere he goes. toji zenin is a man that would not hesitate to paint the whole town in blood of his victims if one ever crosses his territory.

yet as she glances down at the bills being handed at her and promise from him that he would see her again, it makes her smile. heart thumping at the thought of the beautiful man coming back only for her.

angel clutches the money against her chest, squealing as she does little bounces in her heels with a giggle. overjoyed with the amount of cash that would help her,

she’s definitely making toji her new favorite client

#mafia!toji #toji fushiguro #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro blurbs #toji fushiguro smut #jjk

486 notes · View notes

maplesyrupsainz · 22 days

Text

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙make you mine | CL16 LN4 ˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader y/n (she/her) x lando norris

genre: social media au, polyamorous relationship

warnings: just polyamory & fluff

summary: in which you never censor yourself online but your boys wouldn't change you for the world

a/n: i luv the polyamory reqs lollll

request!!!: I've been obsessed with Charlando recently so I was wondering if you could maybe write a smau for them with singer!reader, I don't have a plot other than the fact that they are dating someone like Renée Rap with zero PR training, can you imagine the chaos

my masterlist

twitter ->

instagram ->

charles_leclerc posted a story

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, and 432,054 others

landonorris you're telling me

liked by charles_leclerc

user1 omg aw

user2 awww our precious girl

user3 still not used to u dating her

landonorris posted a story

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, and 389,766 others

user4 charlando looking after y/n <3

charles_leclerc only if we feed her 🤔

landonorris well..... true

user5 yummm pancakes

francisca.cgomes i miss her

landonorris i told her and she literally squealed at the mention of your name..

francisca.cgomes heheheee that's my girl

landonorris and here we were, thinking she was ours

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by francisca.cgomes, lilymhe, and 982,712 others

user6 omg

user7 i am no better than a man

user8 what have they done this time

liked by yourusername

landonorris baby please we said sorry it was an accident

charles_leclerc ma belle please we're begging

francisca.cgomes posted a story

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, and 134,927 others

charles_leclerc she's with YOU?

landonorris return her to us this instant

francisca.cgomes idk what you're talking about 🤷‍♀️

user9 make em squirm

user10 😍

yourusername 📍 paris

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 1,043,365 others

yourusername the boys forgot about me but she never would

tagged: francisca.cgomes

view all 8,943 comments

francisca.cgomes i wouldnt dream of it sweetheart 😍

yourusername stop im blushing....

landonorris stop flirting where we can see it charles is distraught

yourusername so was i when i realised you'd both forgotten to include me in your travel plans

user11 LOL is she being serious😭

user12 the most beautiful wags by far

pierregasly go away back to monaco and free my girlfriend

yourusername YOUR girlfriend? huhhh i know you aint talking about my girl kika

pierregasly @.landonorris @.charles_leclerc please make her forgive you so i can live in peace

charles_leclerc you don't think we're trying 😢

francisca.cgomes try harder 😋 (or dont) (i love having her around)

user13 LOL y/n always brings the chaos to social media 😭

user14 i just know lando & charles' PR team are tired

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by francisca.cgomes, carlossainz55, and 671,346 others

lilyzneimer deserved

yourusername right?!

user15 hahaha what a fun spectacle to watch unfold via instagram

carlossainz55 you guys are crazy

yourusername 😘 perhaps true

carlossainz55 no, definitely true

user16 i know this was charles' idea

charles_leclerc 📍 monaco

liked by pierregasly, yourusername, and 844,971 others

charles_leclerc time to get serious for the home race

tagged: yourusername, landonorris

view all 7,375 comments

pierregasly thank god

charles_leclerc 🤨

user17 OMG THEY R SOOO CUTEEE TOGETHER

user18 im so jealous of them

yourusername get my boys on the podium!!!! 🥇

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris

user19 she gets it

landonorris us going back to being rivals on the track: 😢

charles_leclerc my heart isnt in it, dont worry

user20 omg why is the cutest thing ever

yourusername posted a story

liked by francisca.cgomes, lilymhe, and 612,854 others

lilymhe bored much?

yourusername they are too busy and serious to entertain me. send help

lilymhe im coming to collect you immediately

francisca.cgomes they bored you into becoming an impromptu artiste?

yourusername pretty much 😂 lily said the same thing

francisca.cgomes ok good cause me too. On my way!

user21 trust y/n to supply us with the charlando content 😻

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername 📍 monaco

liked by lilymhe, oscarpiastri, and 1,024,736 others

yourusername congratulations to my boys on p1 and p2 🩷✨🎀🥰🌸💘🌷🩰 never been so proud in my life!!! by the way i just dropped a new song called make you mine .. this one's for my boys:))) ily all

tagged: landonorris, charles_leclerc, lilymhe

view all 14,827 comments

user26 NO WARNING?????

user27 what the fuck

lilymhe i screamed tbh

alex_albon can confirm

yourusername oh stop it you guys 🤭

francisca.cgomes IIIII WANNA FEel the RUSHH

yourusername real 👀

user28 SCREAMMMMMM

user29 our chaotic queen 👸

landonorris oh my god baby

charles_leclerc no way

messages ->

instagram ->

landonorris posted a story

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 716,826 others

user30 oh god i love these three

oscarpiastri cute

lilyzneimer love her <33

user31 sickly sweet😭

charles_leclerc posted a story

liked by landonorris, pierregasly, and 801,626 others

user32 the hand drawn hearts is too cute

user33 y/n is the luckiest girl in the world

user34 giggling and kicking my feet over them

pierregasly you guys are crazy

charles_leclerc crazy in loveee 😎😎😎

yourusername posted a story

liked by charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes, and 974,626 others

user35 the red and orange hearts😭😭😭

user36 them all posting each other celebrating i could die rn

user37 idk who i wanna be more

francisca.cgomes my fav throuple

yourusername how many others do you know

francisca.cgomes not the point!

landonorris

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 837,907 others

landonorris live inside my mind you can see the shrine got you on my walls ..

tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername

view all 11,737 comments

user38 omg🥹🥹🥹🥹

user39 omg they are sosososososo cute together i cant cope

user40 oh to be y/n y/l/n

francisca.cgomes a moment for make you mine song of the year 🙏

landonorris pinned 🧷

yourusername iktr 😎

charles_leclerc my honeys 🍯

yourusername hehe

landonorris i love you

charles_leclerc i love you ❤️

yourusername i love u sweeties

user41 the little nicknames🥹🥹🥹

user42 i'd die for them

landonorris same

THE END ❤️🧡

829 notes · View notes

pancake-breakfast · 10 months

Text

This panel stuck out to me when it showed up in TriMax Chapter 3, but honestly, I wasn't quite sure what to make of it at the time. Or, rather, I wasn't sure where Nightow might be going with it.

Meryl is trying to defend her time with Vash as not being a that bad, but then her coworker (amazingly named Karen) calls her out, telling her that, as a woman, there's no way Meryl could have been happy having her life constantly threatened while running around with Vash.

My first instinct is to defend Meryl, to shoot back at Karen that what defines Karen's life may not define Meryl's, and Meryl might be the more adventurous type who genuinely doesn't mind the danger. And besides, having one's life constantly under threat is psychologically wearing on anyone regardless of gender. So shouldn't she just shut her yap?

But then these words come up again later in the chapter. For (what I think is) the first time in the series, Meryl finds herself with an actual loaded gun leveled directly at her head by a person who fully intends to pull the trigger. She has no known help in sight, and the gunman calling her foolish makes her remember what Karen said.

And Meryl just... closes her eyes, and she thinks about all the danger she's been in with everyone from Gosef to E.G. Mine. She thinks about the Fifth Moon Incident. And she thinks about Vash.

But she doesn't think of gunman Vash. She doesn't think of Vash in a panic telling her to run away from danger, of Vash fleeing for his life over and over and over again.

She thinks of him smiling.

Not only is he smiling, but compared to the darkness and chaos of the other panels, he's a beacon of light in those memories. (You can almost hear the tense, dark music that's been flowing through the scene break into something lighter at his appearance.) And that image of him smiling kindly, still striving for love and peace, grows to dominate her mindscape.

It would be easy to write this off as her growing crush on Vash, or as her seeing him telling her that it's alright and dealing with things like being hunted and having your life regularly threatened aren't actually that bad, that perhaps these things appeal to a sense of adventure and/or what makes life worth living. After all, we've seen similar messages come up in similar fashions in so many other anime and manga series.

But that's not what Meryl concludes from it. Instead, she thinks about Vash's smiling face and concludes her coworker is right. There isn't a way for she, Meryl, to truly be happy when she's constantly getting thrown into these situations.

Her conclusion doesn't end there, though. She doesn't look at the situation and go, "Well, I guess it's time for me, a girl, to throw in the towel so I can pursue a happier existence."

Instead, she concludes that she has to keep doing this sort of thing anyway regardless of any danger or fulfillment.

She realizes that what she dealt with for the time she followed Vash around was crazy and terrifying and, yes, life-threatening. And she realizes that this is how Vash lives all the time. Unlike her, it's not something he has the option to just tap out of when the mood suits. As we were shown in the previous two chapters, Vash genuinely can't just make a new life or career choice or whatever and just... hunt for his own happiness instead. Chaos is going to follow him unbidden wherever he goes.

But he keeps going. And he doesn't just keep going, but through it all he keeps smiling kindly at others, offers them encouragement, and despite all he's seen and been through, keeps trying harder to work for a world with more love and peace. Not because it's safe or happy or appeals to a sense of adventure. It's none of those things. He continues on this path because it's the right thing to do.

Meryl realizes the same thing is true for her. Accepting another assignment from the company to follow Vash around isn't going to bring her the kind of life Karen suggested was ideal. In fact, it's more likely that following in Vash's footsteps (whether figuratively or literally) is going to end up with Meryl in additional stressful situations with her life on the line far more than is truly reasonable for anyone (regardless of gender). It isn't necessarily going to bring her happiness. It certainly isn't going to bring her peace.

But it's the right thing to do, which makes it the only path forward for her, and so she'll embrace it despite all the struggles it brings.

#meryl stryfe #character analysis #manga analysis #trigun #trigun maximum #volume 1 #trigunbookclub #pancake thoughts

605 notes · View notes

rosie-writings · 2 months

Text

You’ve Got my Body, Flesh, and Bone Part Two

Summary: You didn’t think you would let it go this far, but alcohol always gives you the bite to challenge Colby until you’re both faced with the things that keep you from being together.

Warnings: Colby x Reader smut, Angst, Slow Burn, Dom/Sub dynamic, slight Predator/Prey kink, Overstimulation, Bondage, Overstimulation, Subspace

Words: 23.4k

No Y/N Used

Title is from ‘The Summoning’ by Sleep Token

Part One

My blood rushed my veins a degree warmer. I looked down the hallway from where I stood in front of the biggest mirror I had ever seen. The girls partied loudly with drinks and music, and they ruined the kitchen with snacks. I walked back over to them.

And that was the only time I broke the law for the next 10 hours.

The only recognizable thing were the messages from Colby that flooded my phone. Other than that, I woke up in a house I had never seen before. My head laid on the foot of the bed and my blanket hung over the edge. At least I was alone. But Tara and the others were not with me.

I shot up and raced out of the room.

Tana and Brooke were passed out on the same sofa in the living room.

I checked every bedroom and finally the erratic racing of my heart stilled when I found Tara curled up in a dark cozy bed alone.

What even happened last night?

I scoured the house for a quiet secluded place, and I went back into the bedroom I woke up in. There was a patio and private sliding doors, so I went outside. I didn’t want Tara to know that I was breaking the rule again.

He answered quickly.

”Holy fuck you sould like shit,” he laughed.

”Excuse me? I just drank myself to death and got sick like three days in a row; you can’t be mean to me.”

”No, I think this is the perfect time to be mean to you especially for how much of a lightweight you are. You’re sick all the damn time.”

”Hey! At least I get sick once and then I’m fine; you and Sam rot in bed for two days. How boring is that? That seems more like lightweight behavior to me.”

”Whatever,” he laughed. “Do you really not know where you are?”

”These are Tana’s friends I’m pretty sure. I kind of remember her talking to them, but it was kind of crazy last night, and there were a ton of people here.”

”At least you guys are safe,” he sighed. I didn’t enjoy the warmth that invaded my skin. “I’m suffering.”

”Why is that?”

”What do you mean ‘why is that?’ Now I understand why it’s taken Sam and I so fucking long to go to Australia; this flight sucks.”

“Aw poor you; willingly taking a first class flight to Australia to meet up with friends—“

”Shut the fuck up, bitch.”

”Call me a bitch again—“

”You would like that, wouldn't you?” I gasped in shock; my face flared.

”Not as much as you, you fucking asshole.”

”And who said I would like it?”

”You called me a bitch first, bitch.”

”Wow, now look who’s calling who a bitch.” I sighed in defeat. I took a breath to say something, but he interrupted me.

”You’re doing a poor job at entertaining me.”

”What? I’ve sent you two photos and have answered your texts at any chance I can.”

”Yeah like twice.”

”What can I say, I’m a busy girl.”

”Yeah, busy with partying like it’s the end of the world.”

”You’re one to talk,” I spat back. This time, my voice laced with a whiny teasing tone rather than spite. And dare I say, the joking tasted better in my mouth than the hatred.

I was fed up. I didn’t like how we leaned on one side of the fence anymore; was this uncharted territory really all that safe, albeit uncomfortable?

“You know what? You’re right. We too will be busy with partying like it’s the end of the world with friends.”

”Aw, that sounds nice. Have fun being so busy partying with bros and fucking bitches.”

“Whoa, no one said anything about that. Got something to tell me about last night?”

”Wouldn’t you love to know.” My skin crawled at the way he sighed my name.

”Oh? Did you break your stupid rule?”

“What? You know about the rule?”

”Tara told on you. Can’t believe you’re breaking rules for me, that's so embarrassing for you.” My hand held onto the roots of my hair for support.

”You’re making me feel gross, I’m going and taking a shower—“

”Or maybe you feel gross from the partying so hard you got sick—“

”Alright motherfucker, when you haven’t drank yourself sick come talk to me.”

”But it’s so fun talking to you now.”

”Colby,” I laughed and groaned his name simultaneously. “Yeah because you’re so bored now, right?”

”Yes I am. At least bring me with you when you shower.”

”Whoa,” I faked a shocked gasp. “At least take me to dinner first.”

”I fucking paid for your rent the past two months, bitch.”

“Your shower privileges are revoked.”

”No I didn't mean it,” he laughed.

“Aw, you’re sounding desperate now?”

“No, just want what you promised me.”

”And what’s that? I don’t remember promising you anything.”

”Entertainment.”

The gravity of the situation yanked my stomach out of its place. I sat in the chair frozen as my body caught on fire. I heard a singular uneven breath on the other side of the line.

He didn’t reroute his words. He doubled down on them with every silent second that passed.

”I’ll see what I can do.”

And I hung up on him before he could get another word in.

With every shaking fiber of my being, I collected myself and tried to get my ass in the shower without passing out. I would never admit to a soul—including my own—that a stupid man made me feel like this. A best friend, at that.

Completely undressed, I stared at myself in the floor to ceiling mirror that stood in the threshold between the bedroom and bathroom.

I sat on the floor.

I snapped a photo.

I didn’t respond but I didn’t tell him that I did as he told.

I washed the heat in my body out with a chilly shower.

When I got out, I found the crew zombified trying to pull together an edible breakfast. Somehow, someway, Colby’s conversation was the fuel I needed to not tear anyone apart.

This fuel came to a climax that night when a text message revealed itself on my phone.

It wasn’t me, this time, who broke the rules. It was his fault.

I tried to keep the breath in my throat, but it left me quicker than I could hold on. My eyes raced up and down his body, and I didn’t stop myself.

I scrolled to the message he emphasized; the photo of me undressed while I sat on the floor. My vision darkened as my heart beat loudly in my ears.

I very much knew the position I put him in. I needed him to say it; paint the picture for me.

My legs pressed together and I thanked the heavens that I sat in the chair against the window that overlooked the skyscrapers of the city. The girls were lounging. We watched a show and baked cookies. It was quiet time.

And, oh, how I hated how hot my body was. The ache in between my legs should have been illegal, and I took a glimpse at the girls. I couldn’t even make up a lie. Lying was my second language, and someone my first language was annihilated before I even moved to stand up.

My legs moved before my brain processed.

”Where are you going?” Brooke asked. I paused and words left me. Tara gasped.

”Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answers to.”

The girls teased me for a moment and I flicked them off.

I still went to my bedroom alone.

I locked the door.

I sat on the bed. My heart so ferociously worked that I wondered if I lived my last few seconds.

His lack of immediate response told me everything I needed to know. He wasn’t messing around. I never pinned Colby as the type of person to mess around with things like this; but I never anticipated him being so quick. So bold with it.

My uneven breath tangled in my throat as my back hit the bedding.

Tears welled in my eyes from the amount of desperation that his simple texts alone injected into my bloodstream. Perhaps it was my lack of quick response, or maybe he supernaturally sensed a morsel of my trembling need, but he went gentle on me without my asking for it. My phone buzzed one last time.

And so I did.

After that, Colby and I didn’t speak for a long time.

Perhaps the pressure was relieved, and the visceral irritation I felt towards him and our situationship cooled off for the time being.

He sent me photos and updates here and there, and I ate all of them up. Of course I reciprocated, and the tension between us nearly subsided completely. We were friends—best friends—again, and there was a part of me that was excited to go home and spend time with him and Sam.

When I got home, the excitement turned into nervousness. Butterflies drenched the inside of my organs as I waited for their not-so-distant return from Australia.

Four days.

When the morning of their arrival greeted me, a snap from Colby said hello with it.

I rolled my eyes at the way my body shuddered. Why did I allow him to swoon me like that?

I replied with finality; see you soon.

He responded with a black heart.

Two months ago, we all planned for a party at their house because it just so happened to coincide with trips our friends took as well. Friends from other countries and also states visited LA that week, and so Sam thought it would be a perfect end to a month of traveling. He wasn’t wrong. It sounded phenomenal.

Well, it sounded phenomenal before Colby and I became something.

I could see it in his eyes.

I didn’t say a word, a breath of relief washed over me. I wanted to cringe at it; spit it out of my mouth. But his eyes alone felt like a welcome home hug, as much as I didn’t want to come to terms with it, and I decided to give him the responsibility of approaching me and sharing the first word between us in person in over a month.

Colby didn’t look away from me; that was the problem. He didn’t smile either which should have been a good thing, but it was the alternative expression pulled at his face.

I didn’t think even Sam could take his attention from me.

Maybe if we were alone I would have withstood this staring contest, but we weren’t alone. The music, the voices, the partying was all too much, and even though probably not even a single one of them paid attention to us, I was convinced the world watched our every move. So I caved first.

”You made it back in one piece,” I said as he made his way towards me. He still wore the same flannel and that dumb hat. His eyes flickered to my mouth on instinct. I did talk a bit too low for him to hear in the chaos around us.

”Did you?” He asked me and chills raced across my skin from the unfiltered decibels of his voice. It wasn’t distorted by a phone call.

I also didn’t mean for that flirty smile to lift on my mouth. I shoved it back down with words as fast as it came.

”Does that matter?”

”What?” He gasped but I shook my head. A darkness covered his eyes as they lingered on me even as I broke our stare, and started conversation with other people.

I talked to Sam, to Kris, to friends I had longed to see for quite a while, and we settled in conversation about our trips. In between sentences, I took a glance at Colby, and a pit opened in my stomach when I locked gaze with his darkened eyes. He didn’t even blink. His hat and backpack were now out of sight. He swallowed the sip of his drink he took and I returned my attention to the conversation at hand.

Tara spoke enthusiastically about the night we had at the club that was particularly notable considering Brooke—of all of us who were there—was stood on the table screaming at someone. It never crossed my mind that Brooke would be the one permanently banned from a club in New York City, but I supposed I didn’t know much at all.

From the way Colby's presence ever followed me, surely I knew nothing at all.

I played it off well. His eyes were there when I searched, his back was closer to me as he spoke to people, and he moved from place to place as I did. I didn’t know how much longer we would play this game.

I was long past the finish line, and when we trapped each other in the kitchen with our best friends on either side of us, that was when I realized he had crossed it long ago as well.

Now, we simply waited.

Maybe it was the alcohol that gave me confidence to challenge him; if often did. But as friends were distracted with their games, their conversations and sharing of substances, I found him there in that hot kitchen.

“So what, are you second guessing the risk you took in coming back?” I asked him with eyelashes that were heavy. He looked down at me, not smiling.

”What are you asking for if not this?” He asked and the alcohol was the only thing that kept me from caving in on myself from that deep tone of voice.

”I don’t know; you didn’t kiss me when you saw me, didn’t even hug me. I was afraid you didn’t want it.” He laughed with a certain kind of venom on his smile.

”No. I’m just afraid that if I touched you right now, I wouldn’t be able to stop until I made you a mess of yourself lost in your headspace, and I didn’t think that was very appropriate for this party.” My eyebrows shot up as I stared at him in awe.��

“I mean you’ve never ruined a party before so why not do it now?” Colby laughed back at me and shook his head.

”Why should I start now? Why should I ruin my own party?”

”If anything, this is Sam’s party.” He rolled his eyes.

“That gives me even more reason to not ruin it.”

”Whatever,” I sighed as I turned back to the island and grabbed a bottle to pour another drink for myself. “I don’t care. Make me wait.”

”Yeah, I will,” he scoffed. I felt his warmth on my skin as he stood impossibly close to me without touching me at all. “I mean I’ve waited all this time to tear you apart, what’s a few more hours?”

I stared through the alcohol that poured in my cup as my vision blurred with the nasty thoughts he gave me. Then the bottle was out of my hand.

”And that’s enough.” He took the cup from my hand as well.

”What? I’m not even drunk yet.”

“Uh, you think I don’t know you? You’re drunk as hell.”

”You’re an idiot.”

”No, I just know that only drunk you can talk back to me like that.” I stared up at him in frustration. “Fine, take it back.” He held the cup to me. “But I would rather you remember the first time I take my time with you.”

He smiled evilly as I walked away from him empty handed.

It was two hours later when I heard his voice again.

”Sam, you’re going home with her, right?”

”Obviously,” he laughed. “And I’ll either stay with her or Jake until you text me.”

My stomach was in knots.

It was only two am and the majority of people were gone. I hadn’t gotten as drunk as I anticipated, and Kris and Celina were sober enough to drive back to their hotel. Sam got in that Uber with the girl he introduced me to during Christmas, and then the front door was closed.

Besides the slight mess, the house was exactly the way we left it a month ago.

Only this time, it was silent. Beckoning.

Colby turned around and faced me, and I stood like a deer in headlights in the middle of the foyer.

When his lips turned up in a smile, as did mine, and when he took his first step, I took off deeper into the massive house.

”What? Where are you going?” He laughed. But I heard his shoes chase me faster than I ran.

”No where! Why-Why are you chasing me?” I laughed back. I skirted around the bar area and through the kitchen. I ran through the room that should have been the dining room, but he was still hot on my heels.

”I wouldn’t be chasing you if you just let me catch you.”

”If you can’t catch me then why do you think you deserve to tear me apart?” His uneven gasp switched the tone of his voice so fast that I nearly had whiplash.

”Oh alright, if you wanna play that way then maybe you should run faster so that when I catch you, you can get a bigger reward.” His smile was gone and his voice reverberated in my bones. I trembled with a desperation to run, run, run and I aimlessly chose my next escape.

“Colby!” I screamed when he also rounded the corner as scrappily as I did. “Get away from me!”

”Oh that’s not what you’ll be screaming when I catch you.” I knew better than to take the stairs; his legs were much longer than mine. I retraced my steps and took off into the kitchen again. “You’re making this too easy for me,” he sighed.

And he easily cleared the island.

”No! Colby—“

His hands grabbed my waist with an intensity I had never known.

He absorbed the shock from leaping over the island by pushing me back and back until I collided into the wall.

A hand pinned me to the wall with enough force to convince me that he actually thought I would try to run away.

He was finally mine, how could I?

He didn’t stop; it was all the same motion from when he cleared the island to kissing me like it was our last. It was always and forever would be like that between us, wouldn’t it? I cried into his mouth as I tasted him for the second time, but this felt like the first.

He licked into my mouth with fervor and my hands found his neck, his hair, and I yanked him closer as if it were humanly possible. I didn’t mean to moan when he pinned me against the wall so hard that I had nowhere else to go but up. My leg wrapped around his waist, and his hand grabbed the back of the other one to lift me fully off the floor.

“Colby—“ I quietly gasped his name in choppy breaths. He moaned against my skin as if he tried to say something, but simply couldn’t. My heart pounded from our chase, and this amount of contact didn’t aid it.

The world spun around us until there was nothing but us alone.

”Oh fuck!” I cried when he finally grinded against me. “Holy shit, I always dreamed of how you sounded,” he whispered against my hot skin before he kissed me again and again.

He drank down my moans as he kept a steady pace, and I wish he gave me the second to beg but he didn’t. My hands clawed at his clothes and he pulled them away over and over until he groaned in frustration.

”You are so impatient,” he spat when my wrists hit the wall above my head.

“Can you blame me, fucking asshole?” I swear his eyes turned black.

”If you’re going to keep talking that way then you better choose a safe word now.” My throat clamped shut. Dizziness overwhelmed me and I tried to stand my ground.

I laughed.

”You really think you can make me use it?”

“You’re going to have to be a bit more convincing, sweetheart.”

I stared at him dead in those fiery filled eyes.

“No. You should convince me already.” And of course Colby laughed at me.

He didn’t say another word as he all too sweetly kissed my skin. He must have felt the erratic beating of my heart, but he didn’t move furiously nor painfully. I tried to catch my breath as I sat in anticipation over his eerily gentle behavior.

When he unbuttoned my pants, I allowed him to pull them off and I graciously didn’t try to run away.

“Oh my god—Colby—“

”Shut up,” he demanded and went back to his work. “Just shut the fuck up already and let me have you.”

”Take me,” rushed out of my mouth faster than I could reel in the thoughts. “Take all of me—“ I cut myself off with a gasp when he dropped me. My feet hit the floor, but he still held onto my wrists high above me. Then I looked down and watched as he unbuttoned and unzipped his pants.

”Please-Please just let me—“

”You’re already begging for me?” He laughed. “That’s no fun now, is it?” My knees gave out at the sight of his mocking smile.

I paused, I looked up at him with a wide smile.

”I’m having fun playing along with you,” I said, and apparently it was the wrong thing to say because I was back in my place pinned to the wall with my legs wrapped around his waist.

”Alright, tell me when you’re not faking then.” My stomach twisted when his hand shoved in between us.

”Colby,” I whispered his name breathlessly. Heavy breaths came from his lips, and I couldn’t pull my gaze away from his mouth

Without another word, he pushed inside me, and he didn’t let me catch my breath.

”Colby—“ My voice rose. He didn’t answer me. Instead, he thrusted forward. Again. Again and again. “Colby.” This time my voice shook with weakness. His eyes found mine like he knew. His parted lips pulled in a small fond smile, and his free hand fell from my neck and to my hips to hold me still to the wall.

“Colby!” I finally broke, and my yell mixed with the sound of his body colliding into mine.

”What?” He sighed with a teasing pout in his eyes. “Having an issue with faking already?”

”You just feel so good,” I gasped. He faltered. His eyes glazed.

”Fuck—“ He gasped and hesitated. “The-The way you make me feel—“ He didn’t finish his sentence.

He didn’t change his rhythm and it drove me crazy.

He was too much, not enough; I couldn’t decide.

”How do-How do I make you feel?” I choked. He shook his head as his sanity melted before me.

So he fucked me harder.

”Oh my god—!” I screamed, but his thumb gouged into my side to shut me up. My back arched off the wall, and that was when his voice broke with moans as well.

“Fuck,” he grumbled lowly, and my eyes had to close our else another glimpse of his perfect face would put me in the ground. “I need—Fucking hell—“

”Colby!” I gasped, and when he let go of my wrists, my arms wrapped around his neck.

His arms held me under my thighs and I was whipped around towards the kitchen.

”Holy shit—“ I gasped shakily when my hands hit the island countertop. He stood behind me, hands on my waist.

”Need to tear you apart, remember?” He pulled my underwear to the side and shoved inside of me all over again.

My moans echoed across the granite, and I crumbled at the sound of his uninhibited moans. He was so—

Just so.

Speechlessness. It washed over me with every harsh thrust given. And when his hand met the back of my neck and pushed down, I closed my eyes and relaxed my body to give him all of myself. My fists and nails tore at the granite as if it could splinter, and I pushed my forehead to the chilling slick stone for support.

”Colby! Oh my god—I can’t—You feel so damn good.”

”Holy shit,” I think he mumbled again, and he breathed loudly as he raised my hips more. “Up here, baby,” he muttered gently, and I felt his hand link under my knee. I rested my knee up on the edge of the island so that he could have better access.

I think I blacked out.

I wasn’t sure.

“Yeah baby, you sound so good let me hear you.” His hands pushed my hips back more, and he reached the pressure point inside of me that melted my vision. I couldn’t hold on anymore and I forgot to act. Why did we act anyway?

This was better than I could ever imagine.

”Colby—“ My voice came off as a warning.

”What?” He spat. I think I mumbled. So, his fingers tangled in the roots of my hair, and he yanked.

I gasped as my back arched and his face came to the side of my head.

”Finish your sentence,” he warned.

”I’m—You feel too good.”

He laughed again.

”I don’t think I can feel too good yet, just wait. I’ll let you know when it’s supposed to good.”

”Colby, I’m going to—“

”You’re not going to do anything except sit here and take it like a good girl.” My voice was caught in my throat. It felt like cotton stuffed in my ears and replaced every coherent thought in my brain.

There wasn’t a feeling I experienced that compared to it, to this.

”Maybe—ugh,” I moaned as my eyes rolled back from another thrust and scratch of his nails. “Maybe you’re the one-the one who has to be good and-and fuck me like you mean it.“

”Oh my—“ He laughed loudly and pulled out of me.

”I said—“ He spun me around and his chokehold cut my sentence short.

”You’re really going to repeat that sentence?” The deafening weight of his whisper actually twinged whatever courage I mustered. I swallowed tightly, but his fingers squeezed the sides of my neck tighter. My vision blackened.

”I might if-if you don’t…”

”If I don’t what?” I opened my eyes again as I tried to keep myself from passing out.

”I-If you don’t fuck me like you mean it.” His grip lightened and his thumb dragged across my cheek.

”Look at you,” he mocked sweetly. “You’re such a mess for me already; how do you know I haven’t meant it?”

”I can still talk, can’t I?”

”And is that a problem for you?”

”It will be if you don’t-if you don’t give me everything.”

”Then it sounds like you should get your ass upstairs then, hm? Or can you not walk?”

So, in my stubbornness, I shoved him off of me and waver in my stance. His eyebrows shot up.

“I can walk,” I scoffed. “You’re the one who won’t be able to catch me.” He burst out laughing.

“I caught you once. This time you’ll just run into my trap, so—“

”How do you know it’s yours and not mine? Just ‘cause I’m not fucking you to hell and back doesn’t mean it’s not my trap.”

”You—Oh my god,” he laughed as I took off. I heard him follow me quickly, and I took three steps at a time; the adrenaline must have caught up with me.

It was flesh and blood after I burst into his room.

The only light was the orange glow from one of the bedside tables, and my stomach turned with the realization that this was getting real. He slammed the door behind him until the walls shuddered, and I stood in the middle of his room with my back to him so that he could catch me. His hands didn’t touch my skin, no, they yanked the rest of my clothes off without remorse.

I turned around.

He actually allowed me to undress him. I unbuttoned each button of his flannel slowly to test him. I watched him and waited for him to break, but he didn’t. When the soft fabric fell from his ever darkened shoulders—I forgot, it’s summer in Australia—my hands moved to his waistband. His pants were already unbuttoned, so I pulled them down.

My eyes locked with his as I dropped to my knees.

His clothes didn’t hit the ground—they didn’t even reach his knees—before I finally had him in my hand, and had my way with him. His eyebrows furrowed and lips parted with illicit moans pouring from them.

I didn’t take my gaze off him as I took him in my mouth.

It took all but two motions, and his head tipped back with pleasure. His fingers found my scalp and I moaned around him.

His moans filled the air that already thickened with a tension, a frantic heat I wasn’t prepared for. I didn’t use my hand, no. He grabbed my hair with two hands and I fell into him at will. His hips pushed forward until I couldn’t breathe, and I tasted him in the back of my throat. My eyes rolled back and I pushed the back of my tongue tightly around him.

Expletives shot into the air as I was the one who quickened the pace. Then he fucked his hips forward with every yank of my hair.

But, apparently I did too much. Or—

“Alright, baby,” he sighed unevenly. He let go of my hair. “Give me your hands.” So I raised them. He took my wrists in one hand and pinned them back to the bed. I still rested on my knees on the floor, and a high pitched whine escaped my mouth as my body bent backward in a compromising position. “You’ve had so much fun with me, but I thought you wanted me to use you. So be a good girl and relax that throat for me.”

My lips parted, and I looked up at him darkly. His legs stood on either side of me. My head hit the comforter as he thrusted back in.

“Oh fuck—“ he gasped and instantly, my knees spread and I fell deeper under him. Again, my eyes rolled back and I relaxed. One of his hands still held himself, though, and for that I was slightly grateful, but it took me knocking his leg with my knee for him to take his hand away and catch himself from falling.

In the jostle, he fucked into my throat as deep as he could reach, and I gagged but didn’t push him away. He gasped and looked down to make sure I was fine.

I didn’t know what I looked like, but apparently it was enoguh for him to fuck his hips more and more—

I moaned particularly loudly, and his grip on my wrists tightened to the point where I assumed when I got them back they would be blue with bloody crescent moons in them.

I couldn’t believe the heat in between my legs. I needed something—anything—and I rolled my hips like there was something in front of me that could grant me friction.

Of course cool air was all I was met with.

”You are so insane,” he gasped as he pulled out of me. I gasped for air and he pulled my hair out of my face. “Get up,” he demanded. “Get up now. I need both of my hands.”

I didn’t utter another word, no; I wouldn’t dare. Not when I knew where he was about to put the remaining of my control of self.

He tossed me to the bed and my head hit the pillows. Before anything else, he grabbed my wrists and pinned them above me. I stared at his face in a trancelike speechlessness; his eyes focused on the work of his own hands.

In mere seconds, my wrists pulled and they were so tightly locked in place that I hardly budged.

What caught me off guard, though, was the cold sharpness of the metal cuffs. I didn’t anticipate the pain. I thought my hands would be met with the warm softness of fabric cuffs or something; not a pair that no matter how much I wrestled, I would never escape without his key.

”Colby,” I cried; my voice roughened.

He sat on his knees in between my legs.

‘Finally,’ his expression seemed to convey. Then he slowed down and took the rest of his clothes off.

“Look at you,” he sighed and I melted under his gaze. He soaked in every ounce of my body. “Your cat and mouse game was so cute.” Chills fell across my body. He crawled hauntingly slowly over me; his warmth grazing my skin. I was so attuned to it that it felt like I held onto it like my only anchor in reality.

I looked across his body; the warm lighting of the light glowed his golden skin softly, and I wanted nothing more than to touch every inch of it. His fingers raised and touched my mouth. On instinct, I parted my lips, and his fingerprints rested on my tongue.

Oh, I pulled on him. I tasted him, licked them clean even though they weren’t dirty, and I didn’t take my eyes off of him. Then he dragged them down my chin, my throat, and my breath stopped heavily in my chest where they touched next. My stomach rose and fell again quicker and quicker as they reached my belly button and lower, lower—

His eyes looked back up at mine.

”I don’t even have to touch you,” he said. “Can already see how ready you are for me.”

’Please,’ I thought I mouthed, but no sound came from it. His head cocked to the side.

”Can’t talk already? Or are you still faking?” My heart couldn’t keep up. I blinked quickly.

My speechlessness told the whole story.

”And I haven’t even paid the attention to you that I wanted to yet.”

So he leaned over. My eyes rolled back in frustration because what now?

My chest caved in on itself when he came back.

A small wand vibrator sat in his hand.

“Colby—“ I choked.

”Oh, now you can speak?”

”I-I—oh god—I haven’t—”

”You haven’t what?” It was the calm tone; that’s what it was. That’s what did it for me. A storm was behind his eyes, but the calmness in his tone made every hair stand up on my body.

“Haven’t used a vibrator in so long—Please don’t—“

”Wait, what?” He gasped, out of character for a moment. “You don’t have one?”

”It-It broke so long ago and I-and I forgot to get another—Oh my god Colby, please don’t—“ His evil smile twisted my stomach with sparks.

”This got a lot more entertaining for me,” he remarked.

And he turned it on.

”Oh my—“ I gasped when he pushed it gently against my aching arousal.

Like that, I swear he brought heaven down on earth.

”Colby,” I gasped his name, and already my arms twisted in the restraints. “I-I’m not going to last long. I literally-I literally already feel like…”

”Like what?” That sweet airy tone should be the one in trouble next. No, it wasn’t fair.

“So close,” I whined.

”It’s on the lowest setting, baby, and it’s hardly touching you.” Another string of loud moans poured from me. “Fuck, you know I’m not taking it off of you until I’ve had my way with you?”

I nodded furiously.

”Good, then that means I’ll let you come, but the sooner you do, the more orgasms you’ll have.”

Shit.

This ounce of control he gave me was already wasted.

It built in my stomach, and my muscles contracted to keep it at bay, but holy shit, it was too entirely impossible with that look raining down on me.

”Colby, fuck, oh my god, you fucking, oh my—“

”Yeah?” He laughed. His eyes watched my body. He pushed it harder against me. I gasped and my back arched. I wiggled my hips from him, but he pinned them down with his other hand.

It didn’t help that my thighs were tossed over his, and he still kept his firm stance on his knees.

”How close are you?”

”Going to,” I gasped.

”Fine,” he sighed. His eyes watched me and maybe that was what pulled it out of me so fast. Maybe that was the reason my first orgasm crashed into me with such intensity I swore I blacked out. “Holy shit,” he laughed. “Yeah, come so hard for me. Oh my fucking god, you look so good.”

”Please—“ I gasped for air.

Then, the overstimulation.

It reigned over me without remorse. It wasn’t kind, and Colby was lesser. He didn’t take the vibrator away; he turned it onto the next speed.

I screamed as the burning pleasure turned into pain. His eyes glazed into darkness as they focused on my face.

”You know your safe word.” The challenge still hung on his words. I opened my eyes, and I smiled back.

He turned it higher.

Maybe it was a mistake to challenge him back, I couldn’t decide. This wasn’t a pleasure I was familiar with. We had never met before. His nails made permanent imprints on my thighs to keep them spread. I tried to kick my legs, but he was still so much stronger than me.

It was the first time that I thanked the gods that their house was big enough to contain the loudest noises.

“Please-Please, Colby please! Holy shit!”

”You are so fucking hot,” he laughed. “But no. I’m not done with you. I thought you were going to be good and take it.”

”I-I am! I did.”

”No, I’m not done yet.”

”Inside.”

”What?”

“Inside, please!”

”I don’t know what you’re asking me for. That’s not a full sentence baby.”

”Ugh! Oh my god, fuck you—“ The words hardly escaped my mouth before he slapped the fuck out of my hip.

”I’m playing nice right now, baby. If you want me to be mean I can be, but you won’t be too happy about it considering you can barely handle this.”

”I need you inside of me, please! Need to be full.”

”There, that wasn’t so hard now, was it?” I hummed a mixture of whines and moans.

He didn’t let up the vibrator. Two of his fingers accompanied it and pushed ever so slowly inside of me. I ached—writhed and gasped and moved—for more, but only his fingertips teased me.

”You want it that bad?” He asked sweetly.

”Yes, I need it. You-You were already inside of me once! How-How—I need it again.” My voice tore out of my throat harshly. He didn’t even flinch.

”Tell me how much you want me to fill you.”

”I need you so bad I’m going to cry; please! Give me your fingers I need them.”

”Tell me you’ll be so good and sweet for me, and that you’ll take what I give you.”

”I’ll be so-so good for you, Colby,” I whined as my hips shook with another harsh was of overstimulation. His eyebrows shot up as he pinned them down. “I’ll do anything you tell me to; I’ll take whatever you want to give me.”

”Alright, you said you’ll take whatever I want to give you so…”

My breath was taken from me when three fingers pushed into me. He thrusted them in and out with no remorse, and mixed with the vibrations, I knew it wouldn’t be long before I met another high.

Which terrified me.

Rarely ever did I finish more than once in a single session, but something about the way he touched me promised me another one and another—

Then he found it, aggressively.

”Fuck!” I gasped quietly. My back arched and he used his elbows to keep my legs apart still. “There, there, there,” I whined.

”Yeah? Does that feel so good?” He teased. I nodded quickly. Tears flooded my eyes. “You going to come again?” He asked.

”I-I—“

“Tell me, baby.”

”Yes, I’ll come again.”

He didn’t say anything else. He moved quicker and quicker, and my breathing rose and rose—

He pulled his fingers out of me when my orgasm was two paces in front of me.

”No! Please don’t! I’m—Oh shit—“ My orgasm was ruined on the vibrator, and I shook from the violent sting of it.

“And that was called punishment for teasing me for so fucking long and making me want you the way I do.”

”Colby,” I gasped. It was a habit at that point.

And just as the overstimulation came with a vengeance, he pushed himself inside of me.

Another wave of moans and noises poured from me, but he didn’t move. I saw it on his face, oh, he wanted to fuck me until I couldn’t breathe, but he waited. He watched, he listened. I writhed on him and humiliation showered on me when I realized he smirked at the fact that I was crying on him without him even moving.

”You’re so pretty when you cry,” he sighed.

Then he slowly pulled out of me.

”But only when you’re crying on my dick.” And he pushed back in. A gasp ripped from me. He pulled out and pushed back in again, and again.

”You’re-You’re fucking—Ugh, Colby,” I cried, and dragged out his name with a whine.

”Yeah, holy shit, you feel so good,” he moaned and he savored some selfish seconds for himself as he gained speed.

I dug my head into the pillow as he pushed my hips further back. One of his hands pressed against the underside of one of my thighs, and I couldn’t look away from him. His hair began to separate from the heat in the room, and his eyebrows furrowed with pleasure again. I only needed to watch his face to find my pleasure, so I tried to block out the feeling of the powerful vibrator in between us or else I would finish again.

”Colby.” Now I was embarrassed about the amount of times I chanted his name tonight. “I can’t take it, I’m-I’m going to again.”

”Fucking hell,” he laughed. “Again? You’re crazy. No way you can come that many times.”

”You—oh my god—It’s your fault.”

”My fault?” His tone pretended to be innocent. “How is it my fault?”

”You’re such…” My insult fizzled into inaudible moans.

”I’m so what? Do you want to try to finish that pathetic sentence?”

”You’re such-such a cocky asshole.”

”Oh yeah? And who’s making you feel this way?”

Before I could respond, his hips collided into mine harsher. I gasped and I swore in that moment, my nails tore into the skin of my palms. He fucked me like he meant it. I was to blame for that.

”The-The vibrator.”

”Oh yeah?” He choked a laugh. “It’s making you feel so good, isn’t it?” I only hummed in response because holy shit he nailed that spot inside of me. “God, you’re so close already. Can tell by the way you can’t even talk or look at me. You’re breathing harder and your moans are getting louder—“

”Colby!” I snapped at him, and just as my orgasm hit he pulled the vibrator away. “No,” I gasped, but the tidal wave of pleasure was too steep to ward off.

I writhed through my ruined orgasm with nothing but him inside me unmoving.

And his cruel laughs filled the air around us and mixed with my moans.

“You act so tough, like you have something on me, but now here you are crying and coming on my dick like a slut when I’m not even doing anything to you.”

And that was where I drew the line.

”Oh my god,” I gritted my teeth as my senses slowly came back to me. “Fuck you, you motherfucker. You’re such a—“

I knew he was testing the waters in a less confident way. That’s why when his hand met my face it certainly wasn’t hard enough to blush it red, but it was harder than any other time he touched my face. My eyes must have stared up at him wide and bright because his dominance began to melt into concern.

“Don’t act like I haven’t been slapped before.” The astonishment on his face was worth getting in trouble over.

”Jesus Christ, you are such a brat, honestly, I should just tie the vibrator to you on the highest setting and leave you here all night.” I burst out laughing.

”Yeah, like you’d be able to handle that. You wouldn’t be able to listen to me moaning for ten minutes before you’d run in to fuck me.”

”You’d be surprised. Wanna test it? We’re alone in this house.”

The gravity of the situation fell on my shoulders; I clearly was all bark and no bite.

”Yeah,” he laughed as he held my face. “That’s what I thought.”

”I want you to come in me now. Tonight, as soon as possible. I don’t want the vibrator without you.” More expletives rushed under his breath as he thrusted his hips forward. I hummed with him in contentment.

I was so entirely and utterly full under him that I couldn’t foresee myself wanting anything else, anyone else, like I wanted him.

“If that’s what you want, then you need to be patient for it.” His eyes searched mine. “I mean, you can be. I already see how hazy your eyes are. You think you can handle much more?”

”I can handle as much as you want to give me,” I rushed out before I could think about what I said. A twinge of question pulled at his face.

He knew.

Then I understood.

I stopped pulling at the cuffs long ago. I relaxed my hips, the pain was far from me. I was safe and desperate. I didn’t challenge him anymore.

”I’ve got you, okay?” The sudden real and soft tone was jarring.

“Okay,” I whined, and I inwardly cringed at the high pitched break in it. He brushed my hair back and fucked his hips into mine brutally.

The pleasure returned like a train and I was strapped down helpless on the tracks.

His hands wrapped around my waist and held me down as he used me as he pleased. I could only lie and take it, and my eyes closed. I couldn’t handle seeing anything at all anymore. I couldn’t handle hearing; that was thrown out the window a few seconds ago.

My senses were all so overstimulated that I could only handle and focus on the feeling of him viciously claiming what was his. I tried to grab onto something, anything at all, but there was nothing.

“You’re so good for me,” he whispered praises in between moans. I was sure his hands memorized every round of my skin. “Fuck,” he breathed with another wave of bated breath. “You piss me the fuck off.”

”How?” I gasped.

“You-You match me,” he grunted as he sat up more. The angle switch shoved a gasp out of me. How can he have a conversation at a time like this?

“What?”

”I don’t fucking know,” he snapped through a roughened moaned. “You-You just keep up with me and fucking bite back, and-and I’ve been so scared to break that.”

”You-You aren’t,” I whined.

But he nailed that spot inside of me.

The tears streamed down my burning face.

”You sure?” He laughed. “Because you’re falling apart for me.”

”No,” I cried. “This-This isn’t the bad break.” I was glad he understood because I used the rest of my vocabulary.

How disgusting, vile, wretched; I lost my mind and my sense of self and speech on a man’s dick. How low did he make me swoop? Never in my life did I allow myself such dissonance within myself. Or maybe he caught up with me. Maybe I didn’t swoop down and handed him my autonomy.

Perhaps all this time we kept up with each other, and I handed my autonomy over when he clearly trusted himself to hold it and protect it.

”Oh my god—“ And when he moaned my name, any concern that crept up my bones disintegrated.

“Please,” I whispered.

”What else do you want from me?” He sighed like it was a burden. Of course I knew it wasn’t actually a burden; he probably fucked me in shock as if he couldn’t imagine giving another layer of himself to me through all this time.

”Just-Just come, I need it. I need you inside of me. Please, fill me up; I want you to come inside of me.”

”Alright—oh shit—Okay baby, you don’t have to beg,” he gasped sweetly as his hand found my face again.

This time, he leaned over me, and as much as I could see it in his eyes—he wanted to kiss me, and I kiss him back—we couldn’t. It felt too good, like too much, and open mouthed moans pushed against my lips, my own breath.

He said my name again; clearly, with more purpose. I watched as his eyes couldn’t stay opened and I didn’t even consider another release for myself. I just needed him.

“Baby,” he warned.

”Please.” God, I hated begging. “Colby please—“

And a hand held my neck and face while the other snaked behind my back. He held me like I belonged in his arms. His open mouthed kisses, nose, and breath pushed against my neck, and his body shuddered when it fully pushed flush with mine.

I think I moaned his name again before a loud moan poured from him. At that point, every touch far surpassed his intentions. Everything he did, he meant it and then some.

A few seconds passed, and those open mouth moans against my skin melted into kisses. I caught my breath, and I still couldn’t open my eyes as if I was the one who found heaven in that minute.

”No!” I practically screamed when he pulled out of me. “Don’t I need—”

”Sh, I’m not going anywhere.” His voice was entirely gentle now, relieved. I opened my eyes. Not a cavern of his eyes elicited another ounce of dominance or frustration. I liked it. I liked that I stuffed those feelings in there and I liked that I was the only one who could yank them out.

What I didn’t wholeheartedly like was the fact that his man decided he could do the same to me.

He kissed down my body, and my breaths caught unevenly as I realized that we weren’t done yet. He wasn’t done.

”Colby!” I cried when his tongue dipped in between my legs.

“What?” He teased me. My skin crawled from his voice touching it. “You didn’t come with me.”

”Pf, yeah!” I shouted as my hips writhed away from his brutally gentle touches. I felt his breath on me while two fingertips lightly teased up, down, up and down. “But I already did like three times? I don’t remember.”

”Okay, then make this another one you can’t remember.” I hated him. I hated that banter; he always had to one up me, but I would never let him win. “I haven’t even tasted you yet.”

That was a lie; his tongue knew my skin.

I think I moaned his name again, and I didn’t concern myself about the feeling of the fluids slipping from me. He might have caught the mess or he might have let it fall to the bed. I didn’t care about it; I couldn’t admit to anyone except for my own conscience that I liked our mess, and I would bathe in it like it cleaned me.

His tongue met me again, and he moved with my hips this time rather than controlling them. Then his fingers pushed inside. I basked in the feeling of his giving; that was all he did, wasn’t it? How did I not realize it before? I built it up in my head that he took and took without fairness, but there clearly wasn’t a cell in his body cut out for that.

He ate me like I was made for him.

I didn’t warn him when he pleasured me through my orgasm. It came without my telling, and he knew it. I knew he knew me thoroughly already. I always knew he was a fast learner. The problem was, he knew when to stop but he didn’t care.

”Colby!”

“Let go,” he demanded. And when my body screamed at me to obey, I did. I gasped when his fingers fucked me faster than he did a second ago, and I made another mess of us. ”Holy shit—“ he gasped as if he wasn’t sure if he could get me to do it.

I was sure I chanted his name louder and louder until he finally eased up on me. When his bright eyes met mine, out of defiance, he dipped back down and didn’t break eye contact. He licked up the mess and, this time, pushed his moans against me.

”You taste so good,” he whispered when he finally crawled back up to me.

”Please,” I whined with the remaining of my strength.

”Now what?”

“Let me touch you.” His eyes flickered to the cuffs.

And he unlocked them.

I thought I would pounce, at least that was my plan, but my arms laid there rendered useless.

”Baby,” he gasped. He didn’t move to clean up. Instead, he lay next to me and kissed my skin. His fingers touched my skin again and again.

“Sorry—Hold on.”

”Don’t say sorry,” he laughed. “I can’t tell if I did my job well or not enough.” I laughed.

I shook my head.

”What are you talking about? I’m a mess.”

”Yeah, you are,” he laughed at me. “But you almost slipped and then I pulled you out of the headspace. I thought you wanted to.” I shook my head.

”I wanted to stay with you and feel everything you would give me.” His silent answer must have meant contentment.

Then, I opened my eyes.

I pushed him to his back and he drew in a sharp breath when his head met the pillow. I looked down on him as I straddled him and he looked up at me like he couldn’t dare to blink.

”When is it my turn to make you fall apart?” He actually laughed this time; his smile shined up at me like he wasn’t past the point of exhaustion. It neared four am.

”Tomorrow.” My eyebrows piqued in interest.

”And the next day?” I asked.

”Yeah, and for everyday you think you can get away with it, it adds on to your punishment.” I hated the way my throat tied in a knot.

”Oh okay, so what you’re telling me is to do it for a week?” That was when shock pulled at his face.

”What are you not okay with?”

”You keeping yourself back from me.”

”You just want me to test your boundaries.”

”What am I supposed to have boundaries with you for if you don’t test how strong they are?” I swore his eyes rolled back with something.

”You’re going to kill me.”

I was sure those words alone proved to the both of us what we knew all this time. It wasn’t him over me, it wasn’t me on my knees for him, no. It was us fighting and wrestling the fact that we pulled on each other equally.

And there I was all my life thinking I didn’t have a match.

“If you’re going to die, then at least I’m the one doing it.”

The nod of his head told me that he agreed and it was the same for me.

I didn’t remember much else aside from sharing the same body with him until the sun rose.

✧˖*°࿐

Taglist (Comment to be added):

@a-random-google-user

#colby brock #sam and colby #sam golbach #18+ only #minors dni #colby brock smut #colby brock x reader #rosie writings

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lucid-loves · 3 months

Text

Anon+ Requests: Come a Little Closer Part 2 (One Shot)

Pairing: Ghost x 141!reader (fem!reader)

Word Count: 6.6k, Second part to a One-Shot

CW: strong language, fluff, bullying, slight mention of violence, one-shot, clear attraction, reader POV and Ghost POV, Minors DNI, EXPLICIT SMUT, P in V, making out, oral, teasing, edging, rough sex, raw sex, protected sex (IUD)

Let me know if I missed any CWs.

Story Synopsis: You have just joined the 141 and getting to know the boys has been a lot of fun. The only one that you seem to be having trouble getting close to is Ghost. It doesn’t stop you from having a crush on him or trying to catch his attention any chance you get.

Part Synopsis: Ghost makes efforts to make you feel better after learning about your harrassment. This includes getting closer to you, showering you with affection, and destroying the lives of your bullies. Feelings are finally confronted after a meeting for a new mission, leading to the both of you to indulge as much as you can before deployment.

Part 1 ~ Part 2

You woke up in an empty bed, feeling well rested, cozy, and warm. Your senses first registered that familiar scent you fell in love with, reminding you of where you were. An involuntary grin crept along your face. There was something about waking up in Ghost’s bed, even if he wasn’t there when you did wake up. It felt like you belonged in his bed. It filled you with butterflies.

Sunlight poured in through the window, illuminating the room brightly without the need of the electric light. Ghost was nowhere to be seen, but it wasn’t like he left without a trace. On the nightstand was a light breakfast of eggs, bacon, toast with jam, a fruit salad, and tea. It was obviously food from the cafeteria, but the fact that Ghost went all the way there, organized a plate for you just how you liked, and brought it all the way back for you to wake up too had you melting from the inside out. You knew that he could be sweet when he wanted to be, but this was a whole different level.

And he wasn’t even your boyfriend.

You took up the plate to enjoy, noticing a note underneath addressed to you. It was on a sticky note, so the message was brief. However, you still felt the care that went into each stroke of the pen.

Y/n,

Try to take it easy today. See Price for a new room when you’re ready. There’s some better clothes for you on top of the TV stand.

-Simon

You were nothing but goo on the inside at this point. Your cheeks turned pink and you grinned with joy. It was crazy how happy you felt by his consideration. It seemed like he really cared about you. For a moment, you wondered if all of this chivalry could mean something more. Did he have feelings for you too? Would he be this way with another girl? Was he just being nice out of pity?

Shaking your head, you cleared the intrusive thoughts. Ghost wasn’t the type to be considerate out of pity. He was just considerate. You didn’t want to spoil your appetite either thinking about him doing this with other women. It may have been selfish, but for a little while, you just wanted to pretend that all of this was exclusive to you.

As you ate through your breakfast, you thought about your potential new room. Cleaning up your old one and salvaging what you could was going to take a little time. Perhaps you should consider installing an extra lock just in case.

Meanwhile, Ghost was busy examining camera footage from last night in a security room, trying to catch the assholes that decided to harrass you. He examined the monitors closely, watching the past-you head into the showers with your caddy and clothes without a care in the world. Then, he saw the culprits creep along the halls. A group of young boys. Four of them. After congregating outside the showers, they split into pairs. One pair headed into the showers, soon coming out with your clothes, while the other headed down to your room. They made quick work of picking your lock, the locks themselves quite dated since it wasn’t much of a priority to fix on base.

Underneath one of the boy’s shirts was the outline of a few beer bottles. The door closed, hiding all the awful things that they did from the camera’s perspective. However, within just a few minutes, they all came back out, prideful grins on their punchable faces. He was quick to identify the men with the security tech. From there, he pulled their files up.

He read all of their personal information without remorse. Reputation notes on base, strengths, weaknesses, family history, educational history. Ghost realized that this was your old squad. Compared to your file, the boys were unexceptional. No wonder you were pulled from them.

No wonder they had a bone to pick with you.

The pieces of the puzzle began to fit together as Ghost investigated more and more. Pulling out old mission files from your old squad revealed consistent success, yet, not without teamwork struggles. Accidents, incidents, and “mistakes” were recorded in each mission. It was clear that you picked up the pieces and dragged the team to success despite the tension, an unfair burden to place on your shoulders.

There was no record of explicit details of harassment or reports of bullying. He deeply sighed, picturing you facing your harrassment only to decide that it was better not to say anything. Surely, you weren’t afraid of the consequences if you spoke up. Ghost knew that that wasn’t how you were based on how you have worked with them. No, you kept your mouth shut to save your own reputation. You were someone that wouldn’t be sway by something as juvenile as bullying out of jealousy.

For a moment, Ghost admired your resolved. At the same time, he wanted to scold you for being stubborn about not telling anyone. These boys didn’t belong on base. They didn’t even seem to belong in higher education.

Ghost decided that these boys had to go.

You were cleaning up your old room, taking irreplaceable belongings to be moved to your new room. Price was notified about what happened from Ghost. When you saw him about a new room, Price more than complied. He got you a room closer to the other 141, figuring that you would feel safer if your neighbors were your teammates. He also demanded full details on any and every past incident of harassment, taking careful notes to keep on record. This would make sure that the boys would really be blacklisted from other branches of the military.

It felt awkward telling him the long list of incidents, your captain’s eyes staring straight into your soul to get every ounce of the truth. Every so often, he looked like he wanted to scold you for not speaking up sooner, but he choked it down. You did what you thought was right and it technically was. It was clear that you were someone that didn’t crumble under pressure. You’ve proven yourself fully on that front. His trust in you grew as he looked at the long report you both worked on.

“Y/n, do you want these to fix?” Soap asked you, holding up a broken picture frame that, with a little wood glue, could be fixed. You would just need a new sheet of glass for it. Soap and Gaz had volunteered to help you clean as soon as they heard what happened. They were in your old room with you, picking up anything you deemed unsavable for trash.

“Sure. Thank you guys again for helping me out.” You graciously thanked, putting the broken frame in a box along with other things you plan to fix.

Gaz waved his hand, dismissing your gratitude. “It’s nothing. You’re one of us. We would do this for any of our team members.”

“How’s Ghost doing? Have you seen him?” You couldn’t help but inquire. You haven’t seen him since last night when he tucked you into bed. There were rumors circling around the base that he was in a sour mood with the rookies, taking it upon himself to dictate their training regime today.

Soap shook his head and chuckled at your question. “Giving them hell out there today. I saw him earlier doing spar training. He’s beating the shit out of them. Not sure if it’s actually helping better his mood.”

A laugh escaped Gaz as he swept up broken glass. “Knowing him, it’s probably not. He won’t be happy until he sees tears.”

You pictured Ghost demanding more laps, more push-ups, and more pull-ups. Throwing hard punch after punch towards your bullies as they try to figure out what they did to piss him off so bad. The idea of him defending your honor like that made you feel fluffy inside. Yet, your brain told you that you should probably talk to him about it, especially if he wasn’t feeling better after it all anyway.

Looking around the room, you could tell that you were just about close to done. Cleaning was easier to do when you just simply had to throw most of the things away. You managed to save your pictures and personal trinkets. Anything cloth was ruined, but replaceable. The mattress had to be tossed, but that was on the military to replace since it was just one of their standard-issue barracks mattresses.

As you took a look around, Gaz handed you a cold soda. “You going to miss it?”

You shrugged, the soda opening with a satisfying sound. Soap was handed one as well to which he gratefully drank. It was pretty warm in the rookie barracks, the building getting the most sunlight beating down on the building. The air conditioning system was pretty old as well, making air circulation a challenge. Soap, Gaz, and you were sweating through your shirts.

“Nah, not really. As much as I tried to make it look like home, it didn’t really feel like it, you know? Not too many pleasant memories here either.” You honestly answered, tucking your small box of things between your side and your arm to carry out. Gaz and Soap finished their cans and grabbed as many trash bags as they could.

Before they closed the door to the empty room, you said a silent, final goodbye to it. You weren’t going to miss it, but it was still a small part of your life that you wouldn’t forget.

As you and the men walked across base with your things, you could see your old team completing jumping jacks, sweat soaking their clothes and their skins completely red from exhaustion. Ghost was glaring them down, conveying that if they even thought about slowing down that he would have no problem tacking on another ten.

You sighed and turned to Soap, holding out your box of things to keep safe. “You mind holding this for me? I’m gonna go talk to him real quick.

Once he took your things, you made your way to Ghost who didn’t even realize you were coming. It wasn’t until one of the boys locked eyes with you with a contemptuous stare that Ghost realized that you were behind him. He had the urge to punch him just for looking at you like you were the bad guy. However, he held his cool for you.

“Y/n, something I can help you with?” He asked respectfully, his tone full of his lieutenant authority. As much as he wanted to be sweeter with you, he couldn’t let down his deadly facade in front of the boys who decided to take their jealousy out on you.

You looked to Ghost and then to your bullies, seeing just how exhausted they were. Their chests were heaving, trying to take in as much air as they could. They had bruises forming on their arms and legs, injuries from sparring. They looked like they could drop dead at any moment. “I think they need a break. Don’t you think so?”

Ghost narrowed his eyes at them, seeing how exhausted they were for the first time today. He was pushing them hard. Too hard. He didn’t regret it though. But, he supposed that they suffered enough before being discharged. “Alright. You’re done with your drills. Follow me to your captain. We have some important news to discuss.”

The rookies sighed in relief, their legs shaking from fatigue. In the brief moment when they took a quick breather, Ghost turned back to you, his gaze softening slightly. “I’ll see you later. Still have business to take care of.”

You gave a respectful nod and salute before heading back to your new room. As you left, Ghost watched you go. The plain shirt and simple joggers he left for you fit nicely on your figure. He was worried that it wouldn’t be suitable for you. Thankfully, you seemed perfectly satisfied with your new clothes.

The way the joggers hugged your hips and accentuated your curves near had him drooling, though.

Snapping out of his stupor, he barked at the rookies to get a move on to their captain. Finally, they will be sent back home and learn more consequences for their actions.

It’s been a week since you first moved into your new room. It was a little bigger than the rookie barracks, allowing more pieces of furniture to fit in the room if someone had a piece from the outside. You had spent your nights settling in. Fixing your things, putting them up, folding new clothes and uniforms, and decorating the space with new things. You had a new bookshelf now which Ghost built for you while you focused on the new wardrobe.

You told him that you could build a simple IKEA bookshelf by yourself, already grateful that he was proactive in getting rid of trash soldiers that didn’t belong. However, he was insistent on helping you out, finding any and every opportunity to spend time with you. Not that you were complaining. You loved how much he was spending time with you.

Everything seemed just about perfect. Until the 141 was called into a meeting to discuss the details of the next mission. Another deployment to save the world. The team was given their target, their route, and their grace period. Deployment would start tomorrow.

It felt a little strange to say goodbye to your new room so soon. It felt like you just managed to call it home. As you looked around, taking it all in, there was a soft knock on your door. When you called for them to come in, you were met with a rather anxious-looking Ghost. You’ve never seen him this way before.

“Hey, is something wrong?” You asked softly, conveying a certain gentleness that made his heart stir.

He cleared his throat as he closed the door behind him, wanting a little privacy. “Actually, I wanted to check on you. You seemed depressed at the briefing.”

You gave him a small, appreciative smile. “Thanks, but I’ll be fine. Just didn’t think we’d be deployed so soon. That’s all.”

He nodded in acknowledgement, but didn’t make a motion to leave. For a moment, he looked around your new room, taking in all the pictures of family, friends, and art. You looked so happy in all of the pictures, a wide grin on your face in each one. The combination of smells from your detergent, perfume, and air freshener suited you well. He couldn’t imagine your room smelling any other way.

On the wall was an empty picture frame. It was small, only being able to house a picture less than the size of a standard sheet of paper. It was on your nightstand, clearly meant to be something important to you. “What’s supposed to be in that frame?”

You looked at what he was referring to and picked it up, tracing the smooth frame with your fingers. “I’ve been saving this frame for a special picture. A team picture whenever there’s a chance to take one. Gaz, Soap, Price, Kate, you, and me. Sorry if that sounds cheesy.”

“It’s not.” He corrected you quickly, taking the frame out of your hands to put back on your nightstand. He actually found it really sweet. He had a few pictures of him and his team, but it needed an update to include you. The picture he had was a little dated anyway, showcasing a team when they first formed.

With a warm smile you, pat the space on your bed next to you, gesturing for him to take a seat. He took it, his weight causing the mattress to dip in. You ended up moving closer to him from the sudden dip, your side pressed against his. Awkwardly, you laughed and scooted back further, trying to give him some space. Your cheeks were burning red hot from the contact, something that Simon definitely noticed.

As he looked at you, his heart began to pick up the pace. It’s been a while since the two of you were in a private space together like this. While he did help set your room up, the door was always left open and you were obviously busy working. Now, he had your full, exclusive attention.

Simon has been waiting for a moment like this. Since the team was to be deployed tomorrow, it was now or never to do what he wanted to do.

“Y/n, I got something important to tell you.” He began, his stomach tying itself in knots. He hasn’t confessed to anybody in a long time. Actually, now that he thought about it, he never did. He was always the one being confessed to. His feelings have never been strong enough for anybody to be the one to confess first. Until he met you, that is.

You looked up at him, your head tilting in curiosity. What could Ghost possibly want to talk about? His expression was gravely serious, making you filled with anxiety. “Yes?”

He took a deep, shaky breath as he tried to find the words to say. As much as he ran through a script through his head, it was hard to say the words out loud. It was like the words would stop in his throat and choke him. Damn, why was this hard? His gaze dropped to the floor as he kicked himself for being so pathetic.

Seeing him seem to struggle with his words broke your heart. Wanting to provide some encouragement and comfort, you took his hands into your, giving them a little squeeze.

When his eyes met yours again, he saw nothing but warmth. Nothing but love. For a minute, one of his hands left yours to remove his mask. For the first time, you saw Simon’s face in the full light. It took your breath away. The way his eyes shone a brilliant blue, sharp to match his features that seemed to be carved from marble, made you feel like you could jump with joy. It was an honor to be trusted this much.

The hand that left yours went up to caress your cheek, Simon not being able to help but touch you when you looked at him like he was the most handsome man you have ever met. He took in your features too. Your beautiful eyes, kissable lips, the cutest nose he’s ever laid his eyes on.

He still couldn’t say the words he needed to say, however, he was a man of action anyway. Slowly, he leaned in to kiss you, something that you met halfway because you wanted to kiss him just as bad. The feeling of his lips on yours gave you shivers, a warmth creeping to every part of your body. Simon’s lips were a little chapped, yet soft nonetheless. Already, you felt like you would become addicted to his kisses.

Feeling a little greedy, you deepened the kiss, your kisses becoming more intense and feverish. Not being able to resist, Simon leaned into it, his tongue swiping your lips for permission to which you eagerly granted. When his slick tongue met yours, you moaned against his mouth, control crumbling away each second.

God, he tasted so good. So much better than you imagined. His hands landed on your hips, pulling you closer to him until you were flush against him. He ate up every moan that came from you, his tongue gliding against yours to keep them coming. You shuttered as his hands gripped your hips, refusing to let you go for even a moment.

Simon pulled to let you catch your breath. However, he was far from being done with you. As you gasped for air, he peppered your neck with intense, needy kisses. His tongue dragged along your skin followed by a bite to leave a hickey. Hands began to crawl up under your shirt, his large, strong hands feeling up your smooth skin.

You trembled and bit your lip, praying that he wouldn’t stop touching you. Your thighs rubbed together tightly as you felt the electricity travel through your sex. There was no doubt in your mind that you were already getting hot and wet for him. The love bites he was leaving on your skin felt amazing.

Naturally, you fell back onto the bed as Simon kept leaning towards you. Before he knew it, he was on top of you, fondling your breasts underneath your clothes. His fingers worked their way underneath your bra to pinch your nipples. They were hard between his fingers as he squeezed, pinched and tugged.

Your back arched from his touch, legs spreading unconsciously so he could fit right between them. As your back arched, he took the opportunity to unsnap your bra. His lips crashed into yours after he pulled your bra and shirt over your head, allowing him to have a clear view of your gorgeous body.

As he looked down at you, he swallowed hard. Perky, pink nipples, blushing skin, shivers traveling through your nerves. Christ, he was turned on. There was a tent in his pants that rubbed against your crotch, sending delicious aches for more through you.

“Sorry, love. I didn’t even say what I wanted to say yet.” Simon suddenly apologized, realizing that he was eating you up much too quickly. He couldn’t help it. You were his favorite meal now.

You gave a genuine chuckle, finding his thoughtfulness yet thoughtlessness cute. “It’s alright, Simon. We can keep going. I don’t mind it if that’s how you want to convey how you feel.”

His eyes flashed with pure love for you. He was grateful that you could read him this way. Still, you deserved to hear the words out loud. “My feelings for you extend past just physical contact. I want us to be together with the long-term in mind. This is just me being unable to resist you.”

While unconventional, you still found his words to be romantic. He was making the effort to say them to you, after all. Your heart swelled for him, filling with joy as you learned that he shared your feelings. A large smile naturally formed on your face. “I feel the same exact way. I want to be with you as a couple. The more I have gotten to know you, the more I want you.”

Simon gingerly laid himself on top of you, sealing the deal with a deep kiss. You could feel his heart hammering inside his chest, feelings overflowing from the both of you. When he pulled away, you cleared your throat awkwardly, a new embarrassment sweeping across your cheeks.

“So. . . Are we going to continue?” You cautiously asked, afraid that you’ll sound like a complete pervert if you didn’t choose your words carefully.

He quirked a brow, propping himself up with his muscular arms to see you better. Simon didn’t expect you to want more even with how far you’ve already gone. He didn’t want to rush you, but he wanted to be honest. “You want to? If we do, I can’t promise that I can be gentle right now.”

The sound of your beautiful laughter filled his ears again. “Thank you for your honesty. I still want to. I don’t mind if you’re rough with me. I just want to experience all of you before deployment. Who knows when we will get this chance again.”

Your honesty was a breath of fresh air, relief falling upon his shoulders. The fact that you were willing to accept all of him meant the world to him. You wanted him as is, no matter what that entailed. Ghost would do his best to not push you too far. However, he still planned to fuck you good. So good that you would never imagine being with another man.

He stripped his shirt off, allowing you to touch his scarred chest freely. Shivers went down his spine as your hands traced them, his muscles flexing under your touch. You were practically salivating at his muscles. Simon felt amazing to touch and see in the light. You could hardly believe that you had the privilege to touch him like this.

You gulped, your cunt getting slicker as he slowly pulled your pants off. The terms “boyfriend” and “lover” floated around your brain along with “Simon.” All you could think about was him and the fact that he was now your boyfriend. Plus, he wanted to fuck you as much as you wanted to fuck him.

Raising your hips, you allowed your new boyfriend to remove your pants completely along with your panties. Simon took a second to get nude too, not wanting you to feel alone in your vulnerability. From his pants sprung his arousal, slightly bigger than average and girthy. Throbbing, aching. The sight made you shutter in anticipation, imagining it filling up your pussy and fucking you like he was claiming you. God damn, did you want him to make you his.

Instead of filling you up like you wanted, he continued more foreplay, needing to make sure that you could fit him comfortably. Besides that, he wanted to drive you crazy. He wanted you to get so worked up that you would beg for him. He wanted you to not just want him, but need him.

Simon began raining kisses down across every inch of your skin. He nipped, bit, licked, and suckled everywhere, taking note of your most sensitive spots to exploit. So far, you whimpered when he attacked your neck. You gasped when he bit your nipples. You moaned when he squeezed your thighs. Flipping to expose your back, you absolutely squirmed when he traced his tongue along your spine.

“Hold still, love.” He sensually whispered, kisses landing on your sensitive back with his weight trying to hold you down. You moaned as you felt him suckle, determined to leave his marks all over you.

“I can’t when you’re teasing me like this!” You confessed, shuttered as his fingers slowly traced the curve of your back.

He smirked behind you, watching you tremble. “Your back sensitive, love?”

A small nod signaled that you were. Your hips were lifted naturally as you arched, perfect ass pressing against Simon’s hard-on. His breath hitched and he grabbed your hips to stop you from any attempts at grinding. Your pussy was drooling down your thighs, folds swollen pink. As he guided you to raise your hips further, he sighed. “Damn, look at this fucking mess. Hold still for me. And I mean it.”

Before you could ask what he was doing, you felt his tongue lap up your mess, causing you to moan loudly into the pillow. It felt like your whole body was charged with electricity as Simon slipped his tongue into your dripping, hot cunt, tasting you like candy. Trying to stifle your volume, you buried your face and bit your lip.

He traced the length of you, feeling how soft you were from your entrance to your swollen clit. All with his wet tongue that you couldn’t get enough of. As he devoured you from behind, his hands grabbed your body, groping your hips, waist, thighs, and back to feel more of your softness. You were nearly screaming as he sucked on your clit, lathering it with his taste buds. It became nearly impossible to stay still, earthquakes running through you in waves.

“Even if I keep cleaning you up, you keep making more of a mess. Are you that turned on, love?” He teased, his tone light but his voice husky. Simon hardened his grip on you as you shook to keep you still.

“S-Simon!” You whined, embarrassed by his teasing. Hearing his name cry out for him like that made him throb, his cock aching to be inside you already. Little did he know that he was actually edging you. You were incredibly close to an orgasm with how long the foreplay was going. You felt your pussy tighten and leak, yearning for release. However, Simon always slowed down just enough to keep you hanging.

What you really wanted to do was cry out for him, beg him to fuck you already. Of course, you didn’t say anything though. All you could really do was moan and whimper to avoid fully embarrassing yourself. You didn’t want to seem desperate, even though you were.

Simon was ready to hear you beg, though. “What is it, love? What do you want?”

He continued to tease you, still darting his tongue out to play with every corner of your cunt. You gasped as he began to eat you out again, a mix of his saliva and your nectar running down your legs and staining your new bed sheets. Fuck, why won’t he just fuck you already?!

It suddenly clicked for you. Simon was waiting for you to beg. The longer you held it in, the longer he would wait to give you what you really wanted. You didn’t know that Simon was that kind of dominant man in bed, but Jesus, did it make you melt for him.

“S-Simon, please! Please fuck me already!” You cried, not being able to take any more of his teasing.

His kisses on your cunt slowed to a stop, a grin forming on his face as you begged for him. Just before he could reach down to the floor for his pants to fish out a condom from his wallet, you grabbed his wrist. Butt still in the air, you wiggled your hips. Your eyes were glazed over with desire, making his breath shutter.

“Now, Simon!” You continued to plead, losing your patience by the second.

“Love, I need to get a-”

“I have an IUD! Fuck, just put your cock inside me already!” You interrupted him, the need in your body almost painful at this point. Whether he meant to or not, he edged you for too long.

Ghost wasn’t prepared to hear such dirty talk come from your sweet mouth, but he loved it. He loved that you dropped your manners in desperation for him. Without any hesitation, he positioned himself behind you, rubbing his head between your folds to get some of your natural lube on him. The feeling of his hard erection entering you was agonizingly slow for your needs.

Clinging onto the sheets, you whimpered, the feeling of his huge cock stretching you out making you quake. However, it wasn't enough. You didn’t care if it would hurt. You needed all of him. Now. “Si-”

Before you could call for him for more, he roughly slammed his hips against you, bottoming out completely all of a sudden. Your breath got trapped in your throat as an orgasm crashed over you. All that edging made you cum just from being entered so roughly. Pleasure traveled all throughout your nerves, Your pussy clenched down tightly, Simon having to grip your hips to steady himself. The feeling made his own head fuzzy. “Shit, love. You’re so fucking tight! Did you just cum?”

Your heart was nearly thumping out of your chest, still getting over your sudden climax. “You were edging me! I couldn’t help it!”

“Oh, sorry, love. I’ll make it all up to you.” He promised mischievously before absolutely ravaging you with his cock. His thrusts were hard and fast, sending ripples along your ass as he pounded into you.

You screamed into the pillow, the sensation almost overwhelming you completely. He rubbed against every sweet spot you had, hitting you deeper than you ever experienced before. Hands landed on the small of your back, holding you down on the bed as you took every single inch of him. This downward dog position had him rub your g-spot over and over again. Your mind began to feel numb, moan after moan leaving your lips that sent Simon into a frenzy.

He wanted to make you moan even more. More than that, he wanted to hear his name from those pretty little lips of yours. “Moan my name, love. Let me hear you cry it out.”

His cock pulsed as you gave him exactly what he wanted. You gasped, moaned, and cried out his name, each time sending you closer to the edge again. Having his name escape from your lips made you aroused as well, your pussy clenching around him in a way that made Simon want to give you even more. He was glad that you liked it rough. Of course, he would eventually make love to you nice and slow. Tonight though, he really wanted to keep fucking you as if you’ve been together for a long time already.

This was him at his most wild. Thank god you could be wild too.

“Fuck, love! Keep tightening around my cock like that and I’ll cum!” Simon groaned, getting lost in his own pleasure as your hot cunt stimulated every inch of him. Each time he moved out, your pussy tightened around him to keep him in. Your juices were covering him entirely, making a mess out of the both of you.

Hearing him warn that Simon will cum inside you sent a delicious shock of pure pleasure through you. You wanted him to do exactly that as soon as he mentioned it. Your insides craved it, tightening around him more to incentivize him to do it. “Do it, Simon! Please, give it all to me!”

He moaned, completely losing it as you begged for his cum. Without warning, he took one of your arms and pinned it behind your back. His other hand rested on your head, grabbing a fistful of hair to completely pin you against the mattress in an inescapable position. Your vision blurred with stars as he railed you. Your abdomen clenched and your body trembled as you felt another orgasm hit you.

As you cried out in ecstacy, Simon gave away his own grunts and moans, feeling the pressure build up. You felt so good cumming all over his length. How that much slicker you got, how you tightened to milk him dry, how you quivered against him.

Before he knew it, he reached his own climax. Hot ropes of cum poured into the deepest parts of you. Jolts of electricity ran through you as you felt him throb at each release. You whimpered at the sensation, the feeling prolonging your orgasm. By the time he was done filling you up, you were shaking like a leaf.

Finally, Simon let go of you, slowly pulling out and watching your combined fluids drip down your thighs and to the bed. He noticed your arms were red with how firm he gripped you. Sweat shimmered on your body, giving you a whole new beauty that he fully appreciated. He gently helped you lay down, your limbs feeling like total jelly and your mind nothing but fuzz.

As you caught your breath, Simon grabbed one of your small hand towels along with a bottle of water from the mini-fridge he helped install in your room. For a moment, he was worried that he was too rough with you. However, as you came to, your expression seemed content. Satisfied. You’ve never been dicked down like that ever. It was something you always wanted to experience. Masturbation wasn’t enough to give you an orgasm that strong either.

You were glad that you could experience it all with Simon as his new lover.

He handed you the bottle of cold water, allowing you to drink first. As you drank, he cleaned you up with a towel. It was nice that he could be such a gentleman even after such rough sex. “You okay, love? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“Not at all. That was fucking amazing!” You honestly confessed, a grin on your face. Now that the both of you were done and he’s seen it all from you, you weren’t as embarrassed as before.

Simon gave a soft smile back, drinking from the bottle when you handed it to him. “Good. You really are something special, you know that, y/n? You take me for me. You aren’t afraid to say what you want and get what you want when it comes to things you really care about.”

His compliments were so sweet and heartfelt that you felt compelled to kiss his cheek. And that you did, your soft lips landing on his cheek. “Thank you, Simon. I really appreciate it. You know, I think you’re really special too. You were my muse during my training, you know? Seeing your high scores around the base, hearing about all the great work you’ve done, all the respect you earned. It inspired me to become the best soldier I could be for my country. So, thanks for believing in me and helping me do just that.”

Suddenly, he pulled you into a tight hug, laying in your bed with you. Hearing those words come from you meant everything to him. While he had confidence normally, a part of him always wondered if he had become the man he always wanted to be yet. You had just given that confidence boost he needed to know that he was a good soldier, a good man, and a good lover worthy enough to be yours.

You laid in his arms, taking everything in as he hugged you close. Finally, he was all yours.

The plane was getting ready to take off, just waiting for your team to load up and settle in for the ride. You had a long trip ahead of you. A tough mission too. Gaz, Soap, and Price patted your shoulder as they got on, you having beaten them in boarding first. Then, Ghost came aboard, skull balaclava clinging to his face. He looked you up and down before giving you a firm nod of approval, taking the spare seat beside you. You haven’t told the team that you two were officially dating yet, but they had their suspicions. Especially after Ghost disappeared into your room until morning last he was seen the night before.

Now, it was quite obvious as he sat beside you, closer than every and taking your hand in his. They didn’t say anything, of course. They were just happy that the two of you finally got together. Everyone noticed how you looked at Ghost and how he looked at you.

Simon squeezed your hand reassuringly as the plane took off into the air. You suppressed an obvious smile and closed your eyes, patiently waiting for you to arrive at your destination.

While you were normally a bit nervous before a new mission, this time, you felt no fear. It was hard to feel any fear now that you had everything you could possibly want. A supportive team, friends for life, a new home, and the love of your life.

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thecherrytarot · 1 year

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𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭.

how will they heal you?

pile 1 → pile 2 → pile 3

Pick the photo you feel the most drawn to and please remember that this is a general reading so take what resonates!!

listen to: love me like that by Sam Kim

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏:

"you see the world in colours i view it black and white. paint me a picture, out of the lines that i live in all of the time"

They will heal you by letting you shine in your feminine energy, regardless of your gender. With them, you feel in touch with your divine feminine energy and your creative side will shine. They will help you gain strength and for some of you, it could even mean that they give you the strength and confidence to be vulnerable and show emotions. You no longer have to pretend that you are some cold-hearted person that isn't affected by anything. I just saw someone crying alone and then heard a voice say "It is okay, let it out, I am here with you" so take however that resonates. They will help you by showing you the world through a new and better perspective. You will stop looking at life through illusions and negative ways. I feel like in some way or the other they will remind you of your past self, the one that you had to leave behind in order to move forward. They will bring that version of you back and make you believe in a 'magical world' once again.

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐:

"sunshine left today, got caught in the rain, all alone. can you come and pick me up from my blues? or am I late to ask you?"

This might be someone who is a foreigner and/or a long distance and for some of you, you might meet them when studying abroad (either you or them also could be both) I keep thinking about the movie "Like Crazy" where an American guy falls in love with a British student but yours is with a much happier ending. They will heal you by being there for you, life will feel less complicated and you will feel like all that you have been through was worth and now no matter what happens you will rise because now you have someone that has your back. You will get out of your bubble with them and be more sociable and childlike (i keep imaging a bunch of friends driving in a car late at night, listening to indie/alt songs and singing out loud, laughing and having the time of their lives) also instead of how will they heal, I'm getting the message of the connection feels like. There will be a strong psychic connection between you and them, the moment your eyes meet you will know and they will know that this is the "warmth" that you both have been searching for. Like when Lana Del Rey said it in her poem called The land of 1,000 fires, "I have never really fallen in love but whatever this feeling is i wish everyone could experience it."

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑:

(this pile has a similar message to pile 1, so make sure to check it out in case you felt drawn to it)

"i get defensive and insecure my own worst critic behind a closing door, i'm fragile and fractured, that's for sure, i burned myself down to the ground. oh, can I ask of you to treat me soft and tender, love me hard and true? keep my heart from building walls so high, you can't get through, treat me soft and tender"

They will heal you by helping you love yourself and how you need to give importance to yourself first and that too in a healing manner instead of selfish (your old pattern) You might have thought that you knew how to take care of yourself by prioritizing yourself but still found yourself being stuck in the same old negative cycles, they will help you understand the true and the raw meaning of self-love. They help you by providing the stability that you always desired. I feel like a lot of you were abandoned in the past and after that, you put your guard up and pushed people away from you but then you come across them, and it takes you by surprise because you didn't expect to catch feelings for someone so fast. You found yourself in a dilemma because you have such strong feelings for them and yet, you feel afraid cause you don't want them to abandon you. Don't worry, they will help you get out of your old and no longer-needed mindset of resisting the change that you know will set you free.

#future spouse tarot reading #fs tarot reading #fs tarot #love tarot reading #love tarot #free tarot reading #pac tarot #pac reading #general tarot reading #tarot reading #pick a card reading #free tarot #love pac #fs pac

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thesirencult · 6 months

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PAC READING: YOUR DIVINE FEMININE'S AURA

Discussing your feminine's general aura and characteristics. Friendly for both men and girls/theys who like girls. You can also pick it to see how your aura is as a feminine ❤️

Book your reading by sending me a private message xoxo S.

Pile 1

7 of pentacles, 8 of pentacles, 10 of swords

Your DF has the aura of a sweet herbal witch. She lives in her little cabin in the woods and like a fairy she works on perfecting her craft. Greens and purples look great on her.

This is a slow and steady energy. This is someone who loves taking their time. She loves learning and implementing her skills. Making coffee becomes a daily ritual and same goes as washing the dishes.

Her attention to detail is immaculate and that can drive you crazy sometimes but you know that with all that good comes some bad. Very well presented, you can take her anywhere and all eyes will be on her. Very earthy, stable and focused on building a foundation for all things practical before she jumps onto commitment.

Her steady "working on myself" attitude stems from getting backstabbed one too many times. She knows that she has to build herself up and after that all her dreams will manifest. She is into self development and may love going through that tag on Tumblr. She may even be a blogger herself.

She is investing in herself and doesn't shy away from learning about accounting or law. Nothing will stand on her way to that cute fairy cottage *aggressive cute walk* 😉.

Pile 2

9 of pentacles, queen of swords, the magician

Whoever has this DF as a counterpart or has that aura, WOW. Miss Independent. A handful. We love seeing that *sprinkle, sprinkle* here. CEO. That's C-Suite energy!

This woman is someone powerful and dominant. Like a race horse you will always bet on because you KNOW, it will always come first 😉 (pun intended). She works very very hard for what she wants and similar to pile 1 she can be in accounting, finance and law. Good with numbers and her hands. I bet she has a dirty sense of humour.

From the first moment you see her you will know she is the real deal. Others blend in the background while she power walks in the room. Penetrating stare and red bottom high heels, her allure is different. She doesn't have to show dominance, others feel that she is the boss. Mami energy. Ferocious when someone comes for her loved ones. She could even be in law enforcement.

Red and brown. Symbolising high energy that's still grounded and serious. Do not cross her.

Pile 3

King Of Swords, Knight Of Wands, Ace Of Swords

Now, this one? A handful ! Try to tie her down. You just can't. A brat.

This person is very fluid. They don't care about terms and conditions. They are highly intelligent and her mind walks a thin line between spirituality and logic. The most unconventional, they will find a solution no one sees yet it's right in front of them. Highly intellectual and well versed in philosophy and math.

This reminds of a movie with James Franco where he played a start up founder who was into spirituality. A crazy genius. A party is a party and they will be there.

Partying in Ibiza? They've done that. Phuket for a Muay Thai Camp? That did that last year! Eiffel tower to try a croissant with pistachio filling? They just got back yesterday and guess what? They hate pistachios.

This person is the type to run a start up company focused on clean energy and when shit hits the fun they will call an astrologer and ask for recommendations. They respect everyone. They will listen to your mom and dad when they talk about their days and take mental notes of great ideas. They know great ideas come from the most unconventional places and fields.

Pile 4

Page Of Cups, Page Of Swords, The Fool (5 Of Swords + 8 Of Swords + 5 Of Pentacles flew out)

This can be my age difference pile. They will run you to the ground lol.

This is someone with lots of mental capacity. You ask them about World War II and they will tell you how Nazis and Churchill used astrology and why the war happened and after 5 hours you will be listening to them about Ancient Mesopotamia. "How did we get here?" You will think.

Well, it doesn't matter cause you love listening to their voice and their warm heartfelt laugh. They look innocent and pure and even if they try to intimidate you you will let them think they can but in reality they look like a cinnamon roll and they are a cinnamon roll. Their life was not the best and they have lots of trust issues. They may look innocent but their eyes hide a painful past. Like a kitten thrown out and left out in the cold they feel lost and unappreciated.

You listening to them means the world and you will be shocked at how appreciative they are and how loving with you. They are very romantic and they may have great expectations and daydreams about their love life.

I get that you might start off as friends and meet in a very random way on a daily run or while getting groceries or a tire changed. You will immediately fall in love with them and they will seem like they don't suspect a thing. Let me tell you, they know, they are just too scared to show their feelings and until you grab them and kiss em you won't know how much passion is brewing underneath this innocent and clever facade. They might turn into pile number 2 in a few years lol.

Ready for everything, you will always be a warm embrace and their home when they come back from exploration. You will love how they yawn while reading a book and how they stretch when they wake up showing revealing their tummy. They are cute to you, even if everyone else sees them differently, that's how you view them. They might be a black mysterious cat but you think of them as a tired little kitten waiting for a safe home that will accept them as they are.

#astrology #tarot reading #tarot #pick a card #pick a pile #pac reading #pick a photo #pick a picture #soulmate #future spouse

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mswyrr · 6 months

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THG is the only pop culture story I can think of where the heroes (Katniss and Peeta) are disabled* and their happy ending doesn't require that they be "fixed" in order to be happy. IMO, part of why there's such controversy over the ending of the books in particular is that Collins wrote the pov of Katniss as a woman who is content and loves her life and her spouse and kids, but she's still very clearly mentally ill (and arguably somewhere on the spectrum). She has coping strategies and her life is good, but she will never be "normal" and Collins doesn't let the audience think that.

The one part, where she talks about how she handles the darker days, when she's really struggling, never fails to move me:

I’ll tell them that on bad mornings, it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because I’m afraid it could be taken away. That’s when I make a list in my head of every act of goodness I’ve seen someone do. It’s like a game. Repetitive. Even a little tedious after more than twenty years. But there are much worse games to play. (Mockingjay, 332)

It's hard to express how important that is to me. Someone doesn't have to be "normal" to lead a good life. Someone doesn't have to be "normal" to have a life worth living, to give and receive love in good ways.

And, so, when people look at the villain in the prequel and say "he's just crazy, that's why he's evil. He's just a psycho, he's nuts," it's so out of place, it's so dissonant to me -- I think that's absolutely not the kind of story Collins would tell, given her prior handling of disability.

I don't think she's suddenly turned into a Victorian writer where you can know someone is evil because they're disabled because the writer thinks disabled people are warped creatures incapable of doing anything but bringing evil into the world. And the way people assert this, as if it's the pure, wholesome, most politically advanced reading of the prequel, is just - it doesn't compute for me. I don't understand how people get there.

I studied (for years) the treatment of mentally ill people in the mid-20th Century US. It was horrific. US forced sterilization and eugenics laws actually inspired N/azi Germany's forced sterilization, eugenics, and mass murder campaigns against mentally ill and disabled people. Nice, normal people have repeatedly convinced themselves that torturing and killing disabled people is how they will "purify" their society - they've done great evil in the name of rooting out the people evil is supposedly located within biologically.

Is it so hard to believe that people with normal brains do evil? Is it truly so impossible? Even in a story where the Games are about how a lot of people, the majority of whom are neurotypical, can be brought, via media presentation and entertainment techniques, into taking pleasure in their participation in evil? It's so hard to fathom that evil can't simply be located in someone being "psycho"?

Ballad already has Dr Gaul, who is evil and clearly neurodivergent. If Snow is too then the message starts to get kind of worrying? IMO, Coriolanus is more effective as a kind of “everyman” as an 18 year old - an example of the incentive structures (rewards and punishments) and propaganda that motivate “normal” people to go along. Of course, he will later become something far worse than that, someone who takes control of this thing, who uses his intimate knowledge of it and his insight into other “normal” people to make it worse, but that’s not the part of his life we see the most of. The part the book focuses on provides what I consider a powerful depiction of how ordinary people are acculturated into corrupt societies.

It's fiction so there's all kinds of interpretations that the text can support and exploring those is good. It's a stronger text because it has ambiguities and can be interpreted more than one way. But the intensity of some of the rhetoric is an unsettling contrast to what I've thought, for over a decade, Collins' themes and pov are as a writer.

*Shame on the films for removing Peeta's physical disability, though; in the books he lost a leg during their first Games

#thg meta #my meta #i'm gonna try to leave it at this now - i don't want to keep letting this bother me so much #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #maybe Coriolanus Snow is the evil neurotypical representation we need lol #i'm going to unsubscribe from the reddit i think #that is where i am seeing a lot of this #and it's just not worth it

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bettyshoweduptotheparty · 5 months

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Happy 4th December - No, we are not there yet

Sorry in advance, this is a bit of rant, which is not something I usually post. But it's a wet Monday morning and I've had a really frustrating weekend, and today, on this anniversary of maybe the biggest piece of gaylor lore, the pictures and headlines I'm seeing just tipped me over the edge into a rant.

So, on this 4th December 2023 it is 9 years to the day that the world woke up to grainy pictures and videos of Taylor Swift, the world's most famous popstar and America's ultimate good girl, allegedly kissing a woman at a 1975 concert. And the tabloids and social media went crazy over it. And not in a good way. I remember the way I felt, so very nauseated about reading words like 'lesbian affair', 'shocking' and 'fling', not just on Taylor and Karlie's behalf, but the way it made me feel about myself, too. I was brutally reminded that 'lesbian' in 2014 was still seen as a dirty word and society's default was to see sapphic relationships as something scandalous and a fall from grace, rather than something beautiful. To this day I look at this photo and can't help but feel awed by the love and intimacy that their body language exudes, but the world didn't see it that way, they were just obsessing over whether they kissed or not and how to spin that into a dirty story.

That was almost a decade ago. So, have we made progress? Is it all fixed and every queer person (especially artists and celebrities) can live authentically and freely? Well, no, of course not, as was possibly proven again this weekend by Billie Eilish, who confirmed that she is gay (more or less unplanned) in an interview. Nobody should be surprised as she was never subtle about her queerness, yet it cost her over 100,000 social media followers in just 24 hours after explicitly coming out. Being gay, especially for women, is only acceptable when mainstream society don't have to see it. Don't talk about it and God forbid, don't kiss in public. Never mind that straight people do it all the time. The very same tabloid paper that printed kissgate pictures with the word 'shocking' next to them, put Taylor on the cover two years later and described her romance with Tom Hiddleston as 'exciting' and 'sexy'. And on the very morning I see the tweet about Billie, I find this message in my inbox:

Why indeed...? And I was of course expecting Taylor to show up at another football game, but to see her looking somber in a Carol-esque red fur coat, while her partner and all her friends are having a lovely time in LA... it just makes me angry today. Yes, maybe we've made progress in same ways, but we are still so far from where we need to be for everyone to be able to come out without repercussion. In a better world, Taylor would have been in a gorgeous dress next to her wife, rather than sitting next to the girl who would have bullied us in High School.

(And btw, not only was Rebel Wilson blackmailed into coming out by the Sydney Morning Herold, she has lost thousands of followers and has pretty much focused on film making rather than acting since coming out. Maybe this was always her plan, but also, maybe not. Interesting, that film making is also seemingly becoming Taylor's second career leg...)

So, anon who sent me the question above, take this as my answer. Why is the most famous popstar in the world not out in 2023? Most likely because it would cost her so much of what she's worked hard for over the last 17 years. Not withstanding that the answer may also be 🛴 and what he did in 2019 that prevented her from coming out then, the world is just not a very good place for a celebrity to be anything other than straight, white and cisgender. And after 10 years of activism in LGBTQ+ organisations, today I feel a bit deflated by that. But with every single person who feels brave enough to shout their truth from the rooftops, we break down the walls a little more each time. 🌈

#lgbtq community #lgbtq rights #taylor swift #lgbetty #friends of dorothea #anon ask #personal rant #one day the world will be a kinder place

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chuncao · 1 year

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Proposal

“Oppa! I know who I want to marry in the future!”

“Huh?”

Yoo Mia - his sister - excitedly exclaimed. Yoo Joonghyuk instantly whipped his head to her side. They were sitting in the living room, Yoo Joonghyuk playing on his switch while his sister watching some cartoons on the TV.

“I want to marry Kim-seonsaengnim! He’s really pretty.”

She dreamily sighed. Kim-seonsaengnim? Oh, that kindergarten teacher of hers. Yoo Joonghyuk had heard enough of the teacher from his sister that he remembered the man loved to read novels and hated to eat tomatoes. He also knew that Yoo Mia was especially fond of this teacher, judging from how she couldn’t stop talking about him every time she came home from school.

“Today Kim-seonsaengnim made me a heart, isn’t it pretty?”

The pink heart origami was badly folded but his sister looked at it as if it was the most precious treasure in the world. She still kept it on one of her bedside drawers where little trinkets could be found.

“Today when we went to the park, Kim-seonsaengnim told me that I’m prettier than the flowers there!”

The teacher must have said it to all of the students in the class but his sister somehow mistook it for herself. Really, where did she get her confidence from?

The list went on and on. But one thing for certain was that his sister was obsessed with this Kim-seonsaengnim.

“Yeah?”

Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t pay much attention to her words. He was busy defeating this particularly hard boss in the game he was playing.

“I’m serious, Oppa!”

The girl went to where he was lying and blocked his view from the screen. Now that he couldn’t see what was going on, Yoo Joonghyuk had no choice but to entertain his sister.

“Then why do you want to marry him?”

“He’s pretty! He’s nice! And he called me a princess too!”

His sister giggled. Yoo Joonghyuk loved his sister, but sometimes he had no idea what was inside her 5-year-old tiny brain.

“But what if Kim-seonsaengnim doesn’t want to marry you? You know you have to get his consent too right?”

He tried to reason with her. Wanting to marry a fictional character is one thing but wanting to marry her teacher is a completely different matter.

“I know! But Kim-seonsaengnim said he loved me too so our feelings are mutual!”

When did she learn to use the word ‘mutual’? Seriously, his sister was growing too fast for him to catch up with.

“But Mia-ah-“

“Joonghyuk-ah, Mia-ah, dinner is ready!”

The voice of their mother calling them from the kitchen disrupted him. At the sound of ‘dinner’, his sister perked up, running straight to the dining room. Yoo Joonghyuk, now left alone in the living room, sighed inwardly.

“I hope it’s just a one-time thing.” The boy thought to himself.

—

Yoo Joonghyuk was seriously sleep-deprived. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a sleep that lasted more than 5 hours. These days, he was busy studying for the upcoming finals. Normally, he wouldn’t try this hard but his parents had promised him that if he managed to get first place, they would finally buy him the PC that he had been begging for. Therefore, Yoo Joonghyuk studied like crazy, even abandoning sleep for the sake of learning new English vocabulary.

“Joonghyuk-ah, I’m busy so can you go pick Mia up for me today?”

A message arrived when he was solving some math questions. Tomorrow was finally the exam day so Yoo Joonghyuk decided to go over the mock exams again.

Yoo Joonghyuk looked into his phone to see that it’s already been half past three, meaning that Mia would get off soon. He quickly brushed his hair, changed his clothes, locked the door, and hopped on the bike. It took him 15 minutes to get to the kindergarten and by the time he’d arrived, he could already see parents coming in and out of the school to pick up their children.

Leaving his bike in the parking area, Yoo Joonghyuk walked to where his sister's class was. While he had taken her to school numerous times, this was the first time he came to pick her up. Because Yoo Joonghyuk had to be in time for his classes, they usually arrived at the kindergarten quite early in the morning, when there weren’t much people. As a result, he found it quite strange for the place to be filled with people walking around.

“Hello, I come to pick up Yoo Mia.”

Yoo Joonghyuk talked to the teacher that was standing closest to the classroom’s door. He recognized her as the female teacher who was always here early in the morning. Her name was Yoo Sangah, right?

“Ah, you are Mia’s brother! Please wait a moment, I’ll go get her for you.”

She gave him a small smile before heading in. A few moments later, Yoo Joonghyuk saw his sister coming out of the classroom, her hand holding someone’s. Apparently, she was talking to that person.

“Kim-seonsaengnim, why don’t you want to marry me? I thought you loved me!”

Yoo Mia pouted, her voice sounded like she was whining.

“Mia-ah, teacher can’t marry you. Don’t you know that?”

The other person gently answered her while giving her a pat on the head.

Wait, Kim-seonsaengnim? Isn’t that the same teacher who Yoo Mia wanted to get married with? He thought it was just a one-time thing but who knew she could be this persistent.

“Look, isn’t that your brother? See you tomorrow, Mia-ah.”

The teacher suddenly looked in his direction. The moment their eyes met, Yoo Joonghyuk felt his heart skip a beat. The man was… really pretty. Black smooth hair, porcelain white skin, long thick eyelashes, and red pump lips. His eyes were particularly appealing, reminding Yoo Joonghyuk of the starry nights that he saw once on a hiking trip in the countryside. The boy didn’t know why but he couldn’t take his eyes off the other man.

“No! I won’t go home until you agree to marry me!”

His sister crossed her arms, refusing to move an inch. Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to apologize for her behaviors, but his mouth just didn’t listen to him. He was too busy looking at how the white apron the teacher was wearing really fitted his slender figure.

“I’m sorry, Mia’s brother. She is usually more well-behaved than this. I’ll try to persuade her.”

The man gave him an apologetic smile before crouching down to face his sister. Shit, even his smile was out of the world. If his eyes were small stars hanging in the night sky, his smile felt like one of those bright constellations that could be seen without a telescope. It was dazzling, so dazzling that Yoo Joonghyuk forgot how to breathe. Now he could partly understand why his sister wanted to marry the man.

“Mia-ah. If you go home now, I promise that I would make you some flowers tomorrow. Didn’t you say that you wanted one today?”

The teacher smiled sweetly at his sister. Somewhere in his heart, Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to become the recipient of that smile.

“No, I don’t want flowers. I want you to marry me!”

The girl mumbled before turning to where Yoo Joonghyuk was standing.

“Oppa! Can you tell Kim-seonsaengnim to marry me? I promise that I will eat all of my bell peppers if you do!”

“Mia-ah…”

The teacher, not knowing what to do, looked at Yoo Joonghyuk as if asking for help. Yoo Joonghyuk froze under that gaze, not expecting the man to pay attention to him. Seeing that his sister was causing a scene and other parents were staring at them, Yoo Joonghyuk decided to say something so that Yoo Mia could stop bothering her teacher. But before he could think, his mouth moved on his own:

“Do you want to marry me instead?”

Yoo Joonghyuk blamed the sleep he was missing.

#omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv #joongdok #kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk #kdj #yjh

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groupielove21 · 5 days

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I need a Buddie fanfic inspired in "Down Bad" by Taylor Swift's because that song screams Buddie.

Imagine this...

"Did you really make me up?

In a cloud of sparkling dust

Just to do experiments on

Tell me I was the chosen one

Show me that this world is bigger than us

Then I sent me back where I came from

For a moment I knew cosmic love"

Eddie already left Marisol because he realized that he actually likes men, but Buck is still with Tommy and Eddie realizes that everything he wants in a relationship he already had with his "best friend", but now not even that exists and they have to learn to live in this new world where Buck begins to spend less and less time with the Diaz boys.

"Now I'm down bad crying at the gym

Everything comes out teenage petulance

"What if I can't have him"

"I might just die, it would make no difference."

Down bad, waking up in blood

Staring at the sky, come back and pick me up

What if I can't have us.

I might just not get up

I might stay down bad

What if I can't have him

Down bad

What if I can't have him"

The only moments Eddie and Buck spend together now are in the gym between shifts, and as Buck trains, Eddie thinks about if this is all they're going to do now, if this is all he can have from the man he loves.

If the hands that saved him from bleeding to death in a street on LA would only touch him again just to heal some wound, but would never touch him because they really want to.

Buck will never touch him the way Eddie wants.

"Did you take all my old clothes?

Just to leave me here naked and alone

In a field in my same old town

That somehow seems so hollow now

They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about the existence of you

For a moment I was heaven struck

Like I lost my twin

What if I can't have him

Down bad

Waving at the ship

What if I can't have him"

And Buck doesn't notice any of this.

On the rare occasions that he spends the night at the Diaz house, he continues to steal Eddie's sleeping clothes.

And Eddie always has to stop himself from shouting how much he loves him, finding relief only when he sends long messages to Hen, who tells him that it's crazy to suffer so much for Buck if he's not going to do something about it, but Eddie can't do anything.

The prospect of losing Buck feels like a piece of his soul being ripped away.

"Encounters closer and closer

All your indecent exposures

How dare you say that it's -

I'll build you a fort on some planet

Where they can all understand it

How dare you think it's romantic

Leaving me safe and stranded

Cause what if I was in love

What if I can't have us.

Cause what if I was in love"

And one whole day, it just...explodes, right in Eddie's face who has to listen (again) as Buck talks one night about Tommy, as he is the first person who, beyond seeing Buck for what he really es, he also loves him completely, unconditionally, and Eddie just can't stand it because it's not true.

It isn't true.

Because Eddie has loved Buck for everything he is for years and he's not going to stay silent again.

He refuses the idea of living in a world where Evan Buckley doesn't know that the first person who loved him with all his heart is Eddie Diaz.

(And we could have an chapter dedicated solely to Buck figuring out his life and returning a week later to his favorite couch because he's not willing to lose the love of Eddie Diaz.)

If anyone writes this, let me know so I can read it and put it on my fanfic masterlist!

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elliespuns · 5 months

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So 16yo Ellie and 55yo Joel live together in the normal world. They live the best-shining example of a father-daughter relationship, and yeah, well, Joel is a busy man, working out of town, and he gets this deal where he has to leave for two weeks and he can't take Ellie with him because she has school, and it's not that easy, and she's like, "Go, I'll be fine, you know me." and he's like, "Yeah, fuck I do!" and is refusing to leave, but it's hard because he needs the money, and this opportunity means more money, and more money means making Ellie's life more comfortable, and he's thinking about it, and it's fucking him up. One night he has a chat with Ellie, and she finally convinces him to go, and he's like, "Okay, but under one condition. You're calling me every two hours to tell me you didn't set our house on fire. And if by any chance you did, you call to tell me that you'd at least run outside." and she huffs a laugh and is like, "You know I'm spending almost 8 hours a day at school, right?" and he just cups her cute, freckled face in his hands and kisses her forehead, "Then cut the classes and call me from the bathroom." he jokes. They both laugh. It's decided. He's going.

The next morning, he comes to her room to tuck her in bed, kiss her head and then leaves with a heavy feeling in his heart. He will miss that girl like crazy and worry all the time. But at least he's giving her some space, right? She's 16 after all—not such a kid anymore. So he leaves her money worth two weeks of spending with a loving message pinned on the fridge for when she wakes up. "Please don't starve to death. Eat properly! Miss you already. P.S.: every TWO HOURS!"

I just had this five-second scenario entering my mind about Ellie going grocery shopping, and I'm dying because this would literally be her idea of two weeks of food supplies.

peanut butter, jelly, Frootloops, milk, mac n' cheese, Milk Duds, M & Ms, Reese's, two frozen pizzas, waffles, deodorant, big tub of ice cream, cookies, tampons, two cans of Dr Pepper, big bottle of Mountain Dew, RedBull, Sprite, apples, Oreos, chips, popcorn, muffins, pancake mix

After two weeks, Joel pulls in the driveway with a 'luckily, the house is still standing' thought in his head and then comes home to all the junk lying around the place like, "That girl is going to be the death of me, I swear."

#something that just crossed my mind #the last of us #tlou #ellie williams #ellie tlou #joel miller #joel tlou #ellie and joel #joellie #tlou game #the last of us game #ellie and joel fic #elliespuns writes #ellie goes shopping #don't tell anyone she's home alone that'd get him in trouble

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butididntpourthewhiskeys · 11 months

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D O P A M I N E

Chapter III

🎧: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQeBFjbo4KQ

She sits there, sandwiched between her family, right around the big round table in the middle of the cozy living room. Her uncle Andrew tells everyone about their recent vacation to Hawaii, and in the corner of her eye, Taylor can see her mother nodding at everything she hears with a smile. She’s in desperate need of a beach holiday. And so is Taylor. While unlocking her phone, she makes the mental note to plan a nice getaway with Matty and her family. After the past six months of this little human disrupting life as they knew it before, a tropical holiday is definitely needed. Taylor checks her phone screen for the tenth time in the past thirty minutes. She swallows once, then carefully opens the baby monitoring app again. The little boy in the big bed upstairs seems to have turned his head to the other side a few minutes ago. Aside from that, he’s still peacefully sleeping in the big bed that’s theirs for the night. Taylor doesn’t even know why she’s so anxious all of the sudden, but she has to stop herself from not running upstairs and just grabbing the little body and holding it close to her. Maybe it’s because this is the first time that her baby is sleeping in a house that’s not hers. They have security with them, and made sure the house is as safe as possible. Still, she worries. As always when it comes to this little human being.

"Are you okay, honey?" she hears her mother's voice close to her ear, pulling her out of her thoughts. Of course, her mother would notice her staring at the sleeping baby on her screen. Taylor nods quickly, but Andrea can see from her face that she's not fully herself tonight. She knows that Taylor's been a lot more irritable since becoming a mother. But still, she notices that Taylor's drifting away in her thoughts quite a lot tonight. A sense of uneasiness that she's lacking this weekend.

"Yeah, I'm just... it's weird that he's sleeping in that room all by himself, so... far away from me. I just... I think I'm going crazy," she says, almost laughing at herself while placing the phone on the table in front of her. She knows her phone will go off the second there's any movement or crying in the room upstairs. Time to put the phone down for a second. She looks back at her mother, who gives her a warm smile. She's been there too, it seems.

"Have some dessert, and your mama hormones will calm down." Andrea laughs at her daughter and moves the little plate filled with Alison's world-famous pumpkin pie into Taylor's direction. Taylor smiles, and a "thank you" rolls off her lips. Of course, her mom still offers her to eat the dessert first. Just one of the many kind gestures she's always known from the warmth of her mom.

"Where's Matty? His special order of pumpkin pie with vanilla ice cream is coming right up and will be melting soon," she hears Alison's voice yelling from the kitchen. Suddenly, she feels all these uncomfortable stares on her. She swallows a bit, unsure how to react. In fact, all she's been trying to do in the past few minutes was to distract herself from the fact that she knows he's struggling yet he prefers to be alone rather than talk to her. She doesn't want to seem uncomfortable, doesn't want anyone around this table to suspect that something is going on. She clears her throat, then slowly gets up.

“Uhm, I think he.. he got a work call a few minutes go.” she says, a little fake smile escaping her lips hoping that her story makes sense. Because the truth is, she doesn’t know where he is. She doesn’t know where he went to blow off some steam in this house.

“Okay honey, can you tell him to come sit back down? If not there will only be melted ice cream.” Alison replies and Taylor nods, slowly leaving the living room off to find him for a second time tonight.

__________________

<Shit, I should’ve texted you. Sorry. Just wanted to get away for a few minutes. Want to come join me?>

<Don’t laugh, okay?>

Taylor stares at her phone, suddenly receives a shared location from him. She clicks on the pop up message, can see on the little red dot that he’s less than 10 mins walking distance away from the house. She zooms in. What on earth is he doing? Running away from her family’s thanksgiving dinner just to blow off some steam? She can’t believe him sometimes. As much as she loves sharing her life with him, and the fact that he will forever keep things interesting and exciting, she sometimes wishes she could look into his soul. See the things like he sees them. Understand his fast, intelligent and chaotic mind that she loves so deeply.

Taylor has to laugh quietly while standing in the hallway, staring at the lid up display of her phone. He must have walked to a gas station?

<Don’t tell me you’re hiding at a 7 Eleven from me.>

It takes less than two seconds and he sends her a picture as a reply. She can’t help but giggle. He’s just sent her a selfie of himself inside of what seems like a Starbucks. The background is lid up, and he’s holding up a coffee cup with the dark green coffee logo. She can’t believe him sometimes. But she also knows he needs his space whenever he’s not well. She’s learned that in the past 15 years of knowing him. She’s learned that while supporting him in his therapy. It’s his way of carving out space to find new mechanisms to not indulge himself in substances. And she’s glad he’s been able to find ways to deal with it. Healthy ways. Non-destructive ways. Even if that means he wants to be sitting at a random coffee shop all alone to clear his thoughts in the middle of the night.

<It’s actually a Walmart. Come join me. Not a single soul here.>

She can’t help but laugh once more, wants to reply but then hesitates. She can’t believe he’s sitting inside a Walmart. On Thanksgiving. This weirdo. Taylor checks the time on her phone. 10.25pm. Of course no one else is shopping at Walmart at this hour. She looks up again, takes a deep breath. Time to live a little?

<I’ll get a hot chocolate with caramel syrup and whip cream. There in 10 minutes.>

__________________

“Where are we going exactly?” Brandon asks, takes a look at Taylor through the review mirror of the big range rover. She can tell that the strongly built man is confused to drive her around, all by herself, on Thanksgiving eve in this tiny town. She reaches for her seatbelt, has to giggle a bit about herself. She’s glad she reached for her navy wool coat. It really is cold outside.

“So apparently my husband decided to spend the rest of the evening at Walmart. It’s like.. five minutes from here, I think.” she says, already leaning forward to share the location he just sent with him. Brandon takes a look at the map, then slowly starts driving. Taylor leans back, takes a deep breath. As weird as this situation is, she has to admit that she craves to get away for just a bit too. She can’t remember the last time she was at a Walmart? It must have been at least fifteen years ago.

Taylor checks her phone again. Thank god her mother promised to go upstairs, and check on Marly. She’s so lucky to know that her baby is always in the best possible hands whenever her parents are around.

“I think we’re already there, miss.” Brandon says after what feels like a minute of driving. The big car pulls up and drives through the big empty parking lot. It’s not a normal parking lot though. This one is massive. Right next to the gas station she could see on Google maps earlier, she can now also see the huge Walmart. This really is Texas.

“I’ll be right behind.” Brandon says as he parks the car right in the first parking spot near the entrance.

“Sounds good. I think there’s not many people in there at this hour anyways.” she says, leaves the car with the big man right behind her. He gives her some space, never walks right besides her to at least make her feel like she’s not under surveillance when she’s in private. Taylor enters the big department store, can already see the big Starbucks logo on left hand side. This store really is huge. The smell of plastic and cleaning products reminds her of past days. When she was younger, she would love to go shopping at Target or any of these department stores on the weekends. Getting a large Starbucks drink and roaming the stores with her mom. Memories of her life, back then, when she was just a normal person running errands like everyone else in this country. Without paparazzi hunts or fans building groups around her.

With the white wool beanie on her head that she got last week, Taylor slowly walks across the sterile shiny floors. The radio is running in the background. Only one cashier is busy. It really seems like no one else had the idea of going shopping here on Thanksgiving eve. Not a single soul looking at her weirdly. No screaming. No nervous laughters. A nice feeling of normalcy on her chest for once. Even though there’s nothing normal about being at Walmart at 11pm on Thanksgiving eve.

After a few more steps, Taylor can see the big Starbucks counter, filled with lots of sweets. The girl behind the counter smiles at her. It’s a confused, nervous and insecure smile. She knows exactly what thought process she just went through. From confusion, to denial, to nervousness. It’s really true that no one would probably expect her in a Walmart in a small town in Texas on Thanksgiving. Taylor just smiles kindly at her, hoping deeply that she won’t take out her phone and film her the next second. Just when she looks away again is when she can see the familiar man sitting on a chair on one of the small tables by the window, right in the corner. He turns his head to look at her, and the smile she’s met with almost still makes her knees go weak. She doesn’t say anything, just slowly opens the buttons of her winter coat and sits down across him. He still smiles, a little laugh escaping his lips as he carefully moves the warm cup closer to her. Her hands are being warmed in an instant.

“Nice to meet you, you look just like your pictures.” he says with a smirk. Taylor wants nothing more than to stay serious, but she can’t help escape a little laugh too. She takes a first sip from the comforting hot drink in her hand, closes her eyes relishing the sweetness. She just loves chocolate. As well as whip cream. All of the things she so happily indulges in since she’s pregnant.

“I actually like meeting strangers at Walmart in the middle of the night. It’s just a normal thing I do, you know? When my husband is busy with work.” she replies, and it makes him laugh. Matty just can’t stop staring at her. All these dark thoughts on his mind, that almost seemed to kill him from the inside a few minutes ago seem to have vanished. Now that he can look into her face again. Now that she sits there in front of him at Walmart with her blue eyes and short nails, the little eye bags and her bangs that are ever so messed up since taking off her beanie. It’s been ages since he experienced her in an environment as mundane as the four walls of a department store chain. He’s always loved reality with her, more than anything else they do. Because both of them are very much aware that the majority of their lives happens in a non-reality like universe. A beautiful, privileged bubble that not many get to experience. A bubble, that the both of them almost never get to leave.

But not tonight.

“Thanks for joining me, my love.” he says then, his voice suddenly on a level of gentleness that it hasn’t been before. She can feel him reaching with his hand for hers. He still looks at her, hasn’t stopped looking at her face since the second she walked in tonight, a little laugh escaping his mouth as she puts her drink down. A mustache of whip cream is covering her upper lip.

“Can I kiss you?” he says then.

“Not here.”

“Baby, there’s no one here.”

“Okay, but..”

In that second, Matty has already leaned across the table, stolen two gentle kisses from her lips. When he sits down again is when she can see him licking his lips, clearly enjoying the taste of her caramel whip cream. She suddenly realizes, carefully reaches for her upper lip to check if she’s got any more whip cream stuck on there.

“You could’ve just told me, you know.”

“Nah, this was more fun.” he says, doesn’t let go off her hand, just leans back in his chair and takes a sip from his coffee.

Silence comes over them. The radio in the background is playing an old Justin Timberlake tune. Matty just sits there, staring at the blonde woman in front of him. She doesn’t say anything either, just gives him this one look he knows too well.

“So?”

“So what?”

She sighs, her hand definitely not letting go off his right now.

“What are we doing at Walmart instead of being at Alison’s house at this time? Where my entire family is at? Where our baby is fast asleep…”

Matty doesn’t reply. He just sighs, takes a look outside of the window. It’s pitch black outside. There’s a huge digital banner at the end of the big parking lot that switches from advertising an insurance company to a bunch of fruit displayed. A local fruit shop. They really are in the middle of nowhere.

Matty can feel her squeeze his hand gently, taking him right back to reality. He takes a deep breath, looks back at the familiar face across him.

“I just wanted to get away for a bit. Just went for a walk and decided to get a coffee. Then you texted, and I couldn’t think of anything better than to get away for a bit with you instead of just being by myself.”

Taylor feels her heart growing, swallows for a second. She’s never been more thankful for any explanation he’s ever given her before. He’s being honest, and it fills her heart to know that he still chooses her. That he still wants to spend time with her. Still looks at her with the same amount of gratitude and love as he did back then.

“It’s been a while since we went on a date just you and me.” she replies then with a little smile on her lips, and Matty laughs quietly.

“Is this a date?”

“You bought me a drink and we’re sitting around a table that’s not ours, in public.”

She convinced him. He adjusts himself a bit, then sits upright again. Both his elbows on the table, his head hunched forward to be able to speak with her a bit closer.

“I was thinking a bit, clearing my thoughts while walking here, and I.. I just want to apologise to you.” he says then, a bit more serious than he was a minute ago. Taylor still hasn’t let go off his hand, just sits there across from him in her coat. A slight smile on her lips. She places her cup in front of her to have both hands free. Both hands free to wrap around his hand. To hold onto his hand as tight as she wants to. For the rest of her life.

“My head’s been everywhere this week. I just.. I feel ashamed sometimes when I get confronted with that aspect of my past. Especially when I’m around your family. Because it becomes even more obvious to me then, that you deserve so much better. And all I can..”

“Will you shut up?” she interrupts him. She can’t believe he says this. If only he knew how much better he is than any other man in her life before.

“I’m just being honest. You know. Sharing my feelings with you.”

She sighs. His eyes are fully focused on his hand now, and especially on the way her small hands are caressing his. She’s so gentle. She’s so full of love. He can’t believe she decided to get married to him. He can’t believe she’s his. After all these years.

“Matty.” she says in a soft voice, not demanding, not mad or as passionate as she was before. He looks back up into her eyes. A moment of calmness overcoming him. “I love you. You’re the best person for me. Stop these thoughts please. Nothing about your past will change what we have now. I was there back then, remember? I’ve seen you at your worst and I’ve seen you today. And I’m so proud of you. And I’m so… in love with you. Stop these thoughts, my love. Promise me.”

He lets her words sink, and just nods. She’s right. The more he lets her words sink in, the more he realizes that this train of thoughts was caused once again by his anxiety. By his anxiety that always comes up when thinking about Trevor. About Trevor’s laugh, and the warmth of his family. The smell in his nose whenever he walked into his parents house hallway. The very first day they met at school back in Manchester when he was just a kid. The very first day he showed him how to find the right vein, for the right shot. The right shot of clear crystals in his blood stream. The right shot to take his life away.

He swallows.

“I love you, too.” he just says quietly, a whisper more than anything else. He knows so well that this is the only way to ease his pain.

Her love. The cure for everything else these past years. She looks at him, her left hand caressing his stubbly cheek for a moment.

“Also, I don’t want you to apologise. I’m glad you share with me whenever you’re not feeling great. That’s what I’m here for.” she smiles at him. He can tell that she’s so much happier than she was an hour ago. He can tell how happy she is that he’s let her in. And Matty nods, manages to fake a smile as well.

“You’re unreal.” he just sighs, moving her hand closer to his mouth. He’s ready to leave these dark thoughts behind. Just for tonight. He gently kisses the back of her hand.

“Thanks for coming on a date to Walmart with me. Brings up some memories for me actually.”

She giggles, takes one more sip from her cup and just looks at him with a smile.

“Here, have you tried this? It’s so good. The whip cream with the caramel drizzle.. might be my new pregnancy craving.”

She’s already shoved her drink into his hand, and Matty takes a sip. His face looks disgusted all of the sudden. He looks back at the cup, opens the lid for a second to reassure himself that she’s not drinking poison, then looks back at her. She already has to giggle at his face. He looks as disgusted as back then when she made him try the celery juice she always drinks while being on tour.

“Your taste buds are broken, my love.”

“Shush.” she laughs, rolls her eyes and enjoys the warm drink herself again. Matty laughs at her jugging down the sweet drink. He has no idea how she can drink the whole thing without feeling sick. It’s sweet. More than sweet. A sugar rush that will make her shaky in a bit, that’s for sure.

“How are you feeling? How’s little bean doing in there?”

She has to smile at his words. She loves whenever he calls the baby in her belly ‘little bean’. When she was pregnant with Marly, he would always call the embryo in her stomach ‘tiny bug’. It’s his way of loving whatever is growing in her stomach even before having met the baby. She smiles.

“Little bean is good. I’ve been feeling pretty good, just a bit tired. I can’t believe I’m not nauseous this time around, but let’s not jinx it. Maybe keeping busy really is the secret to not feeling pregnant. Like, I’m too busy with Marles than to feel tired or sick. It’s actually amazing.”

He carefully listens to her talking, his chin resting on his left hand. He smiles. With every word, he feels like realizing more and more that there will be another soul living with them soon. Another bundle of love, that will absolutely turn their lives around. Again. Making humans with her was something he always wanted, but never dared to actually do. Until there was that second pink line on this test. Out of nowhere. Unplanned but oh, so so wanted.

“You’re superwoman, you know that?”

Taylor has to laugh at him.

“Stop it. You’re weird tonight.”

“When have I not been weird.” he replies in a thick accent. But she knows. She knows he’s extra clingy these days. He looks at her with a certain level of gratitude these days. She loves seeing the love in his eyes these days, that is extra strong at the minute. But at the same time, she knows he suffers. She knows he suffers, and their connection is his only cure right now.

“You know what I think?”

He looks at her in expectation, his coffee cup already empty.

“I think we should go shopping now before heading home. Haven’t been to Walmart in ages. Let’s get some candy, and some slippers. Maybe they have some cute stuff for the cats. Their pet section was always amazing.”

Matty pretends to be annoyed. But she knows he loves this, can’t hide a smile from her. She gets up, reaches for his hand and pulls him up as well. He sighs, wraps his arm in the big old leather jacket around her shoulder. He presses a kiss onto the fabric of her beanie and lets her drag him into the first isle of the big store.

__________________

“Here, what about this one? I think this one will absolutely make sure your tree will go up in flames..” he mumbles, holding up a box of fairy lights shaped like Santa Claus. He can already hear her giggling, a few meters away. In her high heels and her short hair in a beanie, she just gets back to him. Her red lips forming a smile.

“Nah, I have a color theme. Remember? I said green, gold and burgundy.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. How could I forget.” he says with his big curls, making her giggle again.

“Give me that.” he mumbles now, reaching for the shopping basket in her hands. She doesn’t really react, doesn’t want to show him how appreciative she is of this little gesture. She knows that he would hate to admit it. But he does have a soft side to him. It always jumps out whenever he’s trying to hide it away the most.

“Okay, so we got… fairy lights, napkins, candles…” she mumbles to herself, looking at the shopping list in her phone.

“Mental breakdowns…” he adds to her list, making her giggle again. He loves whenever that happens.

“I think we’ve got it all, actually.” she says proudly. Matty nods, the christmas playlist playing in this Walmart making him sick to his stomach. But maybe it’s not the background music. Maybe it’s the fact that he knows that having gotten everything that was on her shopping list will mean that they’ll be done soon. That his chance has passed.

Taylor starts looking around, almost as if she’s trying to find her way back to the check out section. And he’s not having any of it. Maybe, it’s time to be bold.

“Hey, I think we forgot something…”

“Really? Wh…”

The second she feels his lips on hers, is the second her brain starts to melt. She didn’t expect him to be this gentle. She didn’t expect him to do this, right here, right now, right in the middle of the Christmas section.

He slowly pulls back, his hand still gently on her cheek. She swallows once, almost seems out of breath.

“Sorry, I just.. I had to..”

“It’s okay. It’s.. you’re allowed to do that.” she starts mumbling, and it makes her laugh. He loves making her feel this way.

As they stand there, caught in the moment of their very first kiss, two pounding hearts and the smell of smoke in her nose, the bustling sounds of Christmas shoppers in the isle right next to them seems to fade into the background. The world is on pause, as if granting them a private moment amidst the chaos of this time a year.

Taylor looks into Matty's eyes, her heart racing with a mix of excitement and uncertainty. She brushes her fingers through his curly hair for a second. His cheeks flush with a mix of nerves and exhilaration, realizing he has taken a leap of faith for once. They both sense the electricity between them, a magnetic force drawing them closer. Suddenly, nothing really matters. With a shy smile, Taylor leans in for a second kiss, deepening the connection for a moment. Time slows down as they lose themselves in the soft touch of their lips, savoring each moment of this unexpected intimacy. Savoring each moment of her becoming bold suddenly, her hands still securely on his cheek.

As they make their way to the checkout a few seconds later, the atmosphere seems to have changed. The aisles that once felt ordinary and mundane now brim with a sense of magic and possibility. The Christmas lights twinkle with renewed brightness, mirroring the sparks that ignited between them.

__________________

Taylor opens her eyes. The first thing she sees is his face. She closes her eyes again for a second, stirs once more before opening her eyes up a second time. Morning light is flooding the room. He smiles at her from his side of the bed. His hair as messy as mostly when he’s just woken up. Grey brown curls in all directions. A very active, very happy baby on his back right between them. His father’s protective hand on the small belly. Marly is stretching his legs out, a cooing noise escaping his mouth while his tiny fist almost punch his mom’s face. Taylor rubs her eyes then. She loves to find Matty’s hand gently caressing the baby’s stomach. It seems her boys have spent the morning waking up without her.

“Morning, my love.” he smiles at her. His hand leaves his son for once, and lands gently on her soft cheek. She knows her hair must be messed up and in all directions. But the way he looks at her makes her feel at her best again. The most gentle smile. He loves her. She feels it in every ounce of this moment.

“Morning.” she murmurs, the side of her head still in the big pillow of Alison’s guest room. Her hand now on the baby’s cheek, kissing the bald head good morning.

“Gimme a kiss.” she hears the sleepy man next to her whisper, feels him come closer and then enjoys every second of peace in her while he just casually gives her a gentle good morning kiss, leaning over the baby between them.

“You guys are up already?” she says with sleep in her voice, and Matty laughs quietly. He seems to be in a much better mood than last night. She loves it. She loves the inner peace it brings her.

“I woke up to someone sucking my nose, as if it was a boob.”

Taylor has to laugh instantly. This has happened already a while ago and it was a picture for the gods. Marly sometimes mistakes fingers or noses or other objects that are suckable for the place where he gets his food. A good indicator that someone’s ready for breakfast.

“It happened again?” she laughs, already sitting up a bit to steal her baby a big kiss on the chubby cheek. Matty just remains still, leaning with his back against the bed frame, and nods. He loves watching her right now. He loves how much sleep there is in her eyes. He loves how gently she just sits up, wearing one of his old 1975 shirts that’s way too big on her. How she leans down to her baby, stealing the happy baby what feels like a dozen kisses. Marly starts giggling, wiggling his legs in excitement. He can’t help but laugh, too. These are these moments. These moments that will change his heart forever.

“You’re so funny… you are so funny, you know that?” she whispers in a high pitched voice at their son, and Matty has to laugh as much as Marly does. Taylor notices Matty’s smile as she reaches for her baby, places him securely in her arms. She moves around in bed until she finds a comfortable seating position, leaning against Matty’s torso, sitting upright in bed. Her naked feet securely tucked into the warm bed sheets from before. She casually lets herself fall against him, loves feeling his arms wander around her already. One hand on her thigh, and the other one stroking her long blonde hair away from her neck, so that he can kiss the spot gently while she starts freeing her left boob, adjusting her baby right underneath her. The little boy needs less than five seconds to latch onto her, and starts chugging down his breakfast. Both Taylor and Matty have to laugh at him. He seems to be extra voracious today, loud swallowing noises coming from the little mouth.

“He’s got the thirst from his father.”

Taylor turns her head, gives him an annoyed but amused stare.

“Come here.” he mumbles then, helps her lean back an inch to be fully cuddled into his arms. He lowers his head to kiss her shoulder once, then looks at his baby just like she does. An unreal feeling to see these beautiful green eyes staring back at them. A one in a billion chance to ever be able to look into his son’s eyes. One in a billion and he still shares this moment with these two humans. Matty’s right hand wanders to her stomach. She welcomes the gesture, moves her head to his face then. She looks at him with puffy eyes and smiles, doesn’t need to say anything else. He can’t wait to meet their second angel.

And neither can she.

__________________

“Alright, do we have everyone on board?” Alison yells, while standing in the door frame. Half of the Finchley’s are out of the door already, whilst the other half is still getting dressed for the cold. Ready for a true autumnal walk through Kingwood park. One of the most beautiful areas to be at during winter. The leaves are still colorful, the trees not too empty and naked as they are in almost any other part of the country now. It was Taylor’s idea. One of the things she always tries to do, now that she’s a mother. She wants her son to experience seasons. She wants him to leave the house, not just grow up in between four protective walls. She knows that the risk of someone taking a picture is there. But she’s doing the most to enable him to grow up normally. Seeing colorful leaves on the ground. The fresh air of autumn. Her favorite season.

“Andrew, Scott, Austin, Maureen, Jackson - you can take the first car. We’ll take the bigger one with the baby.” she already organises the big group to get going. Taylor has got Marly on her arm already. A small bag wrapped around her torso, her favorite green scarf wrapped around her throat. But she’s not the only one dressed ready for the cold. The little boy on her arms is packed up in a warm winter jacket. The tiny beanie with cat ears is covering his bald little head. He looks so cute, isn’t even crying at all. He just looks around all fascinated by everyone gathering outside and jumping into one of the cars one on one.

Matty is still busy unbuckling the baby shell from the portable stroller they brought. He’s just getting a look from Alison, and has to laugh as well. He’s got two diaper bags around his shoulder as well as the maxi cosi in his hand now.

“Are you guys sure you’ll need all this for an hour of a walk..”

“She’s the boss.” Matty just replies, making Alison laugh as he already disappears by the car to store the bags securely in the back. Taylor just looks at Matty and rolls her eyes.

“I don’t know if we’ll need all this but I just want to make sure we have everything in case.”

Alison laughs at her niece, closes the door behind her. She knows what it means to be a mother for the first time. It comes with a lot of anxiety and uncertainty. Always wanting to do the right thing.

“That’s fine. Let’s get going, darling.” she says. Andrea and her aunt Marjorie’s husband Greg both get into the car. Matty signals Taylor to hand Marly to him.

“Get in and I’ll give him to you when you sit.”

Taylor hands him the little boy, then slowly makes her way into the mini van. She sits down right behind the driver, facing the little baby’s car seat next to Andrea and Matty. She reaches for the little boy and places him gently in the car seat. Andrea immediately helps her to buckle him up securely while Matty gets into the car himself. Unbelievable how much effort it is these days to go for a walk somewhere.

“Are you sure you want to sit this way, honey? Do you get car sick?” Alison asks but Taylor shakes her head, already fastening the seat belt herself.

“No, if I sit this way I can have an eye on him.” she says, and everyone nods. The car starts driving and Matty opens the hood of the little grey maxi cosi a bit more. Marly looks up at him, then back at Taylor who’s sitting right in front of him. He looks confused, doesn’t really understand where they’re going.

“Where are they dragging you now, huh” Matty jokes, making everyone in the car laugh a bit. Andrea starts talking about the last time she visited Kingwood park. Taylor watches Marly’s eyes getting smaller and smaller. But what makes her feel warm inside is the fact that he’s holding onto Matty’s big finger for the entire drive. It melts her heart how much they love each other. Taylor looks out of the window. She loves driving through new cities, seeing people walk on the pavement and just live their day to day lives. She listens to the conversations of everyone, slowly closes her eyes for a second.

She opens her eyes for a second time today, realizes she’s still sitting in the car, and they’re still driving to Kingwood park, at the very Northern end of the city. Alison told her that the ride would be a little less than an hour, but she didn’t expect the drive to take them around oh so many curves and bumps here in nature. She turns her head to the front, finds Marly still fast asleep in his baby shell. Matty smiles at her, still in the midst of a conversation with her mother. She looks outside again. The scarf around her neck making her feel like she can’t properly breath. She swallows once, feels this exhaustion in her legs again. It’s weird. She’s used to feeling tired, but this is a next level tiredness. She takes a deep breath. If there’s one more bump on the road, she might actually get sick. With her hand, she just holds on tightly to the scarf on her lap. This can’t be happening. She can’t be getting sick now. Taylor looks outside of the window, taking a deep breath. Of course she can feel that Matty feels that something is up. He’s still listening to the conversations in the car, but reaches for her hand now. Just when she touches him is when he looks at her a bit more worries than before. Her hand is cold and sweaty. She’s shaking.

“You okay?” he says then, and everyone suddenly stares at her. She would’ve loved if he hadn’t said anything. But maybe, it was the right call.

“I don’t.. I just feel really dizzy and..”

“Mate, can we please stop the car for a second?” Matty already yells at the driver, who stops the car at the sideway of the road. Taylor just brushes her bangs out of her forehead with her free hand, the shaking of her fingers being visible to everyone now.

“Honey, what’s going on?” Andrea says now, can clearly see that her daughter is as pale as a white wall. She holds one hand in front of her mouth, as Matty already opens the door, helps Taylor to step outside for a second.

She just stands there, taking deep breaths. Her entire body in her wool coat is shaking. Matty’s arms wrapped around her from the side.

“You okay?” he whispers, she just shakes her head.

“I just.. I’m so sorry. I just got so dizzy and… nauseous.” she mumbles, and he can still tell that she’s shaking. Her hands that hold onto him are cold, sweaty and shaking more than he likes to see.

“Come here, sit down for a second.” he says, walking with her to the pit of the highway and helps her sit down for a second. She needs fresh air right now.

“Do you.. do you need to..?”

She doesn’t say anything, just shrugs her shoulders. If she wasn’t feeling so dizzy, she would definitely be more than embarrassed now. Her family, including the driver are just witnessing her having a pregnant breakdown in the car. If she actually throws up on the side of the road now, they will officially think she’s lost it. She just covers her eyes, taking deep breaths. She can’t throw up now. She can’t throw up now.

“Do you have some water?” she then hears Matty asking everyone in the car. It takes less than a second and Andrea gets off the car as well, handling him a bottle of still water. Matty takes two steps closer to her, sits down in front of her and opens the cap, handing her the plastic bottle instantly.

“Honey, is this from driving backwards? You never had problems with that, did you?” Andrea just looks at Taylor in worry.

“I.. I don’t know. I just got super shaky and sick suddenly. Was weird.” she mumbles then, sipping on her water bottle, praying that her mother won’t get the obvious. It’s true that she never suffered from motion sickness. She never does. Unless she’s pregnant, apparently.

“I’m so sorry guys.” she says, still shaky and pale. She just sits there, in the middle of nowhere, next to the big car, praying that she won’t throw up in front of everyone. Matty knees in front of her. Of course, he’s worries. She can see it in his face. He takes the water bottle from her, then reaches for her ice cold and sweaty hands again. He looks at her, wants to reassure himself that she’s okay.

“Stop apologising. Want a snickers bar? To get your blood sugar up again? We can also drive back and get some rest.”

She shakes her head. Just the thought of food could result in her vomiting right here, right now.

“No, I.. I just need a few minutes. Fresh air is good.” she says, just sits there. Everything is still turning. Little stars in the corner of her eyes. She hates whenever this happens. It happened only twice in her life. Once when she was sixteen and had a bad sun burn, and once last year. Being pregnant and not having eaten enough.

Matty sits down next to her, his arm around her making sure she’s supported and comfortable.

“No rush, baby. Take your time. Drink this.” he says, handing her the water bottle again. She looks back at him, then nods. Thank god she’s got the most caring person by her side, as always. She takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels herself slowly coming back to her senses as her mother’s eyes meet hers. She knows. Taylor should’ve known that she knows. Andrea just smiles, having figured out in Taylor’s face that she understood and then slowly gets back into the car.

It takes less than five minutes, another desperate try of Matty to get her to take a bite from the snickers bar he found in the car door until Taylor gets up and feels ready to get into the car again. But this time, she’s taking Matty’s seat. He insists. As she sits back down on the warm cushion, she can feel everyone’s worried looks on her.

Uncomfortable. More than uncomfortable.

“I’m good. I promise.” she says, a smile on her face again. She does feel better, takes one quick look at the sleeping child next to her. Matty looks at her with a questioning look. She knows that she just needs to say a word and they’d be on their way back to the house. She appreciates it. But she’s okay. She will be okay.

Just in that second, she can feel her phone vibrating in her small bag. She reaches for it, can see that she’s got a missed call as well as a text from Matty’s mother. She clicks on the notification and reads. Her heart stops beating for a second, and her stomach almost churns once more.

She swallows, texts her back and looks at her husband in front of her. This time, he’s the one looking out of the window. She doesn’t know why, but a bad feeling creeps onto her chest. A really bad one.

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