#spousal abuse

[faramirsonofgondor]

“Gabe isn’t abusive in the show” ARE WE WATCHING THE SAME SHOW???

Gabe is literally introduced by yelling at someone who, when Percy apologizes for Gabe’s behavior, says “I’m walking out, you’re walking in. I should be apologizing to you.” And then Percy reluctantly and slowly walks inside. And Gabe immediately starts in on him (calling him “Genius” in a mocking tone) as Percy repeatedly expresses that he just wants to talk to his mom ( and Gabe’s subsequent “Is that all you have to say to me?”) The fact that he answered Sally’s phone and acted like he had every right to do so?? The way he shows begrudging respect when thinks Percy was violent towards another kid at school?? The “you would think that because you’re a child, you don’t understand things…” The way he gets annoyed that Percy wants to know where his mother is. The “what are we doing Percy? every time! wow…wow!” in such a condescending tone??? Percy’s immediate alarm when Sally calls Gabe’s name. Gabe immediately yelling at Sally, not knowing anything about Percy’s life (he didn’t even know his school’s name despite literally just talking to them), the way he makes Sally negotiate to use the car (“Why am I okay with this?” “Make sure they put the hot peppers on my sandwich please!”) the way he acts like his tone of voice shouldn’t matter to Sally because he said “please” the aggressive behavior even after he concedes to letting them use the car (getting in Percy’s face, pointing his finger at him, etc.), like???

Just because he isn’t depicted as smacking the shit out of them doesn’t mean he isn’t abusive. He is constantly yelling, even when it’s not necessary, and is overall condescending and rude towards both Percy and Sally. He has a positive reaction towards the idea of Percy being violent, which means that he probably has no problems getting violent himself, even if it isn’t show on screen. The fact that he is constantly trying to redirect Percy and Sally’s decision to make himself the center of it (he is trying to goad Percy into an argument when he gets kicked out of school and overall keeps trying to redirect the conversation back to himself, he acts like he is allowed to breach Sally and Percy’s privacy but then makes Sally get his permission to drive somewhere, and even then she has to give him something in return). Like he is very clearly controlling and emotionally/financially abusive (he acts like Sally’s things are his despite not having a job and likely blowing through their money). It also seems like he tries to diminish Percy’s self esteem, possibly to keep him and Sally under his thumb (it’s a common tactic used by abusers to make the victims feel like the need to depend on the abuser). Overall, just because he might not be physically abusing them, doesn’t mean he isn’t abusing them and doesn’t mean his actions aren’t harmful. Furthermore, just because he isn’t violent on screen doesn’t mean he isn’t violent.

#pjo series #pjo tv show #pjo fandom #pjo #percy jackson #gabe ugliano #sally jackson #tw child abuse #abuse mention #tw abuse #emotional abuse #mental abuse #financial abuse #spousal abuse #abuse is still abuse no matter what it looks like #emotional abuse can be just as hurtful as physical abuse

[nansheonearth]

(if you prefer, you can listen to the article by clicking the link. it is 4:13 long)

Inside the ‘high-conflict’ parenting class some Mass. judges require for separated couples

Jenifer B. McKim

January 17, 2024

Updated  January 17, 2024

Melissa was filled with dread in early 2022 when ordered by a Massachusetts family court judge to take a parenting class with the estranged father of her child.

She had no desire to participate in sessions with the man she says abused her and her elementary school–aged child.

But fearing losing custody, Melissa — who asked us not to use her last name — agreed to pay $900 to take a remote course titled “High-conflict Parent Education” from William James College in Newton.

“I left my abuser, and I expected protection,’’ Melissa told GBH News recently. Instead, she said, “I have been court-ordered to be back in a relationship with him.”

What followed were nine weeks of 3-hour classes. The “high-conflict” parenting course involved homework assignments where parents were asked to find "positive traits" about each other, consider ways not to irritate one another, and phone calls to discuss common goals.

Supporters of the class — estimated to have been taken by some 600 parents over the last decade — say it is meant to protect children from the debilitating “toxic stress” caused by living between battling parents. But critics say the course is causing unneeded trauma, especially for victims of domestic violence.

The debate comes amid a broader discussion about how to improve court-order classes for separated parents — and, in some circles, whether there is any benefit at all. For years, divorcing parents in Massachusetts were required to take a shorter, less expensive parenting course — one of 17 states to do so. But the requirement has been suspended since 2021 over questions about the classes’ consistency and effectiveness.

Melissa is one of a handful of women who talked to GBH News about their concerns with the more intensive class for “high-conflict” parents. It's the only known such program in the state, distinctive because of its cost, length and requirement that "high-conflict" parents take the class together. All of the women say they were too frightened of repercussions to their fragile families to speak on the record. They describe the class as, “shaming,” “cult-like” and “creepy.”

Several women told GBH News they felt unsafe in the class, even when held remotely during the pandemic, sometimes forced to be in unmonitored breakout sessions with their estranged partners.

One woman from Middlesex County told GBH News said she was horrified her case’s judge ordered her to take the class. “I was very sickened that I would have to attend such an intimate class with my ex-husband, who is a very abusive man,’’ she said.

She took the class, but said it felt like a cult. “They would literally call you out, right in front of everybody and say, ‘You’re doing it wrong, you’re damaging your child. You do it our way,’” she said.

Another woman sent GBH News an essay she wrote about the experience — written to express her frustration. In it, she said, “I was instructed to write down the ways that I trigger my abuser's anger and what I can do different in the future, so my children would enjoy better academic and emotional outcomes. I was tempted to write down, ‘breathing.’”

Now a Boston College law lab is circulating a “white paper” that substantiates some of the women’s concerns. The authors say the “high-conflict” course is not regulated by the state, can take months to complete, and, “most worryingly,” forces some parents who’ve suffered domestic abuse to take classes at the same time.

“Parents ordered to take the class have legitimate worry,’’ the paper concludes. If the state suspended a parenting class out of concerns about “compliance with certification criteria,” the report questions, how can a class not regulated by the state be allowed to continue, and parents ordered by judges to participate?

Claire Donohue, an assistant clinical professor at Boston College Law School and lead author of the report, says she launched the inquiry at the behest of two former participants, one of whom was Melissa. Researchers asked for information from William James about the program, she said, but never received any documentation or response.

Donohue hopes that the report will fuel a conversation about the program and a wider debate about court-ordered parenting classes in Massachusetts.

“It feels a little weird. It’s like being sent to the school of good parenting,’’ Donohue said. “Who’s to say just because my marriage falls apart ... now all of sudden I have to open myself to the advice and the opinions of absolute strangers?”

Court officials declined to comment specifically about the Boston College report. In an email response to questions last year, court officials said the court does “not regulate or oversee” the William James course and directed a GBH News reporter to reach out to the college with further questions.

“The Probate and Family Court is aware of concerns from some [participants] and lawyers related to high conflict parenting courses,” the statement said. “The general focus of most parenting courses is to educate parents on the harm that can occur to children when exposed to parental conflict and how to co-parent.”

In July 2021, John Casey, chief justice of the Probate and Family Court, suspended the mandatory class for all divorcing parents after determining that the class could not prove its effectiveness and individual providers "failed to adhere" to reporting guidelines. The chief justice's decision followed an article published in Boston Magazine titled, “Is Massachusetts shaming divorced parents?” — a story Casey pointed to while explaining his decision.

Court officials told GBH News that they are working to re-launch the state-required program with an “updated, evidence-based” curriculum. State guidelines from 2010 mandate the program runs for at least two sessions totaling at least five hours at a cost of no more than $80 per parent, with the possibility of a fee waiver. Spouses were required to attend different sessions.

Court officials originally planned to start a new course in the fall, but delayed the launch after concerns from some legal service attorneys. The new course will apply to “married and unmarried parents where there are contested issues of custody and parenting time,” court officials told GBH News earlier in January.

Jamie Sabino, attorney with the Boston-based Massachusetts Law Reform Institute, told GBH News that a group of lawyers had raised issues with the new program, partly concerned that victims of domestic violence would feel they needed to attend courses, even separately. However, she said court officials are working to address those concerns, providing clearer notice to victims they can ask for a waiver.

Sabino says she's much more concerned about problems with the William James course.

“I’ve heard many reports of people, where there’s domestic violence, where there have been restraining orders — and they’re cooking dinner for the other side and being told they have to say nice things about their partner,” she said. “Our clients are trying to figure out how they can parent on their own after the trauma of the relationship and the divorce. And this is extremely traumatic.”

Jenifer McKim GBH News

William James officials defended the program in several emails to GBH News over the last year.

Kelly Casey, managing director of the college's Department of Forensic & Clinical Services, wrote in an email earlier this month that the course is based on a “successful” Kids First Center in Maine and was designed by experienced behavioral health practitioners.

“Research finds that children in high conflict home environments show the significant effects of psychological stress,” she wrote. “Over many years, the Courts and participants have seen great value in the program and continue to recommend it to parents and their coordinators.”

In another email last year, Jessica Greenwald O'Brien, then-director of the school’s Center of Excellence for Children, Families and the Law, wrote that people who have active restraining orders can ask a judge to pull them out of the class — but the judge has final say. In general, college officials don’t accept parents who have experienced “violence within the six months prior to intake,” she wrote.

“We are attempting to move coparents to a point where they can have basic, civil, information-based communications on their own regarding their children,” said O’Brien, who has since left the college for another job.

Melissa says she was required to take the class amid continuing conflicts with the father of her child, someone she never married and had been with for less than two years before their separation.

She felt obligated to comply or risk losing custody of her child. “You don’t really have a choice, especially when [the judge] says you can’t come back to court until you’ve passed the class,” she said.

In late December 2022, Melissa completed the course. It wasn’t until the following November she received notice that she had passed. She said even receiving the certification brought back unwanted emotions of dread and shame. Over the last year, she joined a group of women who connect online to discuss the trauma they experienced while in the class and seek ways to shine light on the problem.

“Everyone is complaining about it. Everyone is experiencing trauma. Everyone thinks it’s inappropriate,’’ she said. “This will keep going until we call them out.”

#jennifer mckim #gbh #boston #judicial #domestic violence #patriarchy #male violence #institutional misogyny #misogyny #o #radfem #women's rights #spousal abuse #feminism #npr

[youknowihadtodoittothem]

@ihatemenandtherearereasons

@maledepravityarchive

#male violence #spousal rape #spousal abuse #do not partner with men #rape cw #rape #radfem safe #radical feminists do interact #feminism #graphic descriptions of violence cw

[frankencanon]

headcanon for how alastor become a cannibalistic serial killer:

one day his abusive father goes too far and kills al's mother, causing him to... snap. he kills his father in an unplanned crime of passion.

but now he's got a problem: he's a child with no means to provide for himself, alone in a house with two corpses... and he's hungry.

(sure, he could ask for help from police or neighbors... but he's been raised by an abuser who highly discouraged doing so—for obvious reasons—and alastor's still young enough and brainwashed enough not to know better.)

eventually he's discovered and, as a child, is not charged with anything. perhaps if he'd had family to take him in he would've received help, gotten therapy... but he didn't, and so instead he was thrown to the foster case system where he was promptly forgotten and abandoned.

years later, he discovers a friend of his is being abused by her boyfriend... and history repeats itself.

#alastor #alastor the radio demon #alastor theory #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #cannibalism #cannibal #abuse #spousal abuse #domestic abuse

[radfemtaquito]

Can we please acknowledge that it's common for domestic violence victims to not have photographic evidence documenting their abuse?

It's often dangerous for victims of domestic violence to take pictures documenting these things. If their abuser goes through their phone—as many abusers do—they could easily find those pictures and punish them for it. It is so common for abusers to exert control over their victim's use of technology.

The standards you are setting for victims to speak out against their abusers are almost impossible for most victims to meet.

#domestic violence #domestic abuse #depp v. heard #i stand with amber heard #anti johnny depp #pro amber heard #feminism #violence against women #radfem #radical feminism #spousal abuse #mine #text

[enoughdonegone]

Hey. If you're still having sympathy and compassion for the person who hurt you, it's really ok.

I said 'fuck that guy' in my last post. But it took me a really long time to get there. Also, that may never be how you feel about them. That's ok too. You don't have to hate them.

Your feelings toward them don't invalidate what happened to you. And your feelings certainly are not evidence that it 'wasn't that bad'.

I think there are a lot of people out there that think that there's a single 'correct' way to heal. You can process and heal in whatever way works for you. You don't have to follow someone else's blueprint.

Give yourself space, grace and time.

#healing #survivor #recovery #emotional abuse #ptsd #trauma #spousal abuse #recovery is not linear #enough #i'm done #i'm gone

[hussyknee]

(alt included)

#misogyny #generational trauma #sexism #domestic abuse #female exploitation #terfs dni #emotional neglect #spousal abuse #eldest daughter #toxic parents #toxic masculinity #knee of huss #parental abuse #childhood trauma

[why-i-love-comics]

Cult of Carnage: Misery #4 (2023)

written by Sabir Pirzada art by Francesco Mortarino, Java Tartaglia, Dono Sanchez-Almara, & Fer Siduentes-Sujo

#misery #liz allan #marvel #wednesday spoilers #spoilers #comic spoilers #spousal abuse #tw: spousal abuse

[sjsmith56]

Chance Encounter - Part 1

Summary: A chance encounter at a supermarket triggers a brief memory in Bucky. When he investigates he finds a link to his past.

Length: 4.5 K

Characters: Bucky Barnes, named OFC, named OFC (child), named OMC

Warnings: Evidence of spousal abuse, forced marriage to a minor, feeling of familiarity for Bucky, HYDRA memories.

Author notes: This story started out as a meet cute but took a serious 180 degree turn.

🛒 🛻

The first time Bucky saw the young woman was in the supermarket, the big one with tall shelves full of everything the discerning customer would ever need. She stood in the middle of the aisle, looking like she was ready to cry and wringing her hands. Her whole look and manner seemed out of place in the modern environment, as her long dress skimmed the floor; its tiny floral print reminding Bucky of something the older women in the neighbourhood would wear when he was a boy, not something a woman of her age would choose in these modern times. Even her hair was different, braided, then coiled around her head and covered in a large dark kerchief. He watched for a moment, as she looked helplessly at the upper shelf, while people blithely walked past her, ignoring her confused and frightened face. A couple of times she tried to stand on the edge of the bottom shelf to reach the product she wanted on the top, but she still couldn’t reach it. Just as she was about to walk away, he came to her rescue.

“What can I help you get?” he asked, kindly.

She was startled at his approach and immediately looked down at the ground as she answered in a voice so muted that even he had trouble hearing it. “The onion soup mix, please. The large box.”

Easily reaching up, Bucky grabbed one of each of the three brands that had a large size. “Take your choice,” he said.

Grabbing the closest one she quickly put it in her cart and smiled briefly. When she looked up at him, she gasped, her face a bright red while she mumbled her thanks.

“No problem,” he answered, placing the other two boxes back up top. “Is there anything else on this aisle you need help with?”

She shook her head and pushed her cart quickly down the aisle away from him. As she slipped away around the corner she looked back, and he had a brief flashback of a moment when he was the Winter Soldier. There was something about the way she looked at him, then the memory was gone, and he was left puzzled at why she seemed even remotely familiar to him. Her body language hinted that she was either extremely introverted or was so terrified that the act of grocery shopping was a stretch for her. Certainly, she wasn’t comfortable inside the store and although he could empathize with that, having experienced it himself when he first began acclimating back to society, it wasn’t something he had witnessed in anyone else, not in the way she manifested it.

As he approached the line of cashiers, he saw she was already in the process of having her items rung through. Each sound of the scanner as it read the barcode made her jump a little, as if it was a foreign sound to her. When the total was announced, she pulled a change purse out of a pocket in her dress, opening it up, and carefully pulled some folded bills out of it, placing them on the surface of the counter as she separated the denominations. That was followed by several coin pieces as she tried to pay as close to the exact amount as possible. While the person who was bagging her purchases made small talk with the cashier, the woman looked nervously through the large window of the store to the parking lot, as if she was expecting someone to be waiting for her. With the last item bagged and her cart in front of her, she pushed it out the door but didn’t enter the parking lot. Instead, she sat on a bench, pulling the cart closely to her.

She was still there when Bucky exited with his own purchases. Looking mostly at the ground in front of her, she occasionally looked up whenever a vehicle entered the parking lot. He pushed his cart to his SUV, opening the back and slowly transferred his bags in, while still observing her. When a large black truck entered the parking lot, she looked up and for a moment a flash of fear appeared on her face, but she quickly stifled it and stood up, waiting for the truck to stop in front of her. A considerably older man got out, and right away Bucky knew there was something about him that was even more familiar. His hulking frame indicated someone used to dominating people, in the same way as a guard … a prison guard. The man barely glanced at her, just uttered a command and she got inside the truck, sitting in the back seat of the large cab, next to a child in a car seat. He transferred the groceries to the truck box, then got back in, not even returning the cart to where the others were nestled together at the cart station. Bucky pushed his cart towards it, looked at the licence plate and watched as the truck pulled away from the front of the store and left the parking lot. Back in his vehicle, he dialled Sam.

“Hey, what’s up?” asked his partner. “You’re not bored already. You’ve only been home a day.”

“No, I need you to access the vehicle database,” said Bucky. “Had an encounter with someone today and it brought up a brief memory of when I was the Winter Soldier. She was picked up by a man whose face reinforced that feeling. I have his licence plate number.”

“You think they’re HYDRA?” asked Sam, his voice becoming more businesslike.

“I don’t know. She seemed out of place, like being in a supermarket was something totally foreign to her. She was terrified of it, Sam; the same way I was when I first got away. If she’s HYDRA, it’s not by choice. The guy, however, gave off completely different vibes.”

Once Sam was logged in Bucky gave him the licence plate number and vehicle description. The name it was registered to meant nothing to Bucky, but Sam ran it through another database, bringing up a picture that he texted to his partner.

“Yeah, that’s him,” said the former Winter Soldier. “There’s something familiar about him but I can’t place it. Maybe it’s in a repressed memory or something still fragmented.”

“Leave it with me,” said Sam. “I’ll do some digging and start up a file on this guy. You going to put them under surveillance?”

“Something like that,” answered Bucky. “You might as well come up when you have some intel.”

For the longest time after Sam hung up, Bucky looked at the image of the man on his phone, Sergei Ivanov, age 53. There was something definitely familiar about him, something chilling. Recalling the look of fear on the woman’s face when the truck first appeared he was sure that she wasn’t with the guy freely. He could look in his cloud storage for the HYDRA files he had but without a context to the two people, it would be a slow process. If he could just remember why they seemed familiar and from where, perhaps he could narrow it down.

After returning home and eating dinner he changed into something more suitable for surveillance. Looking up the address that Sam pulled from the truck registration he headed out. As it wasn’t far, he didn’t use his own vehicle, primarily so it wouldn’t be seen and identified as belonging to him. Instead, he took the subway for one stop, then walked the rest of the way, checking out the neighbourhood, assessing the exit points if things led to a confrontation. Not that he was planning for it, but if this guy did turn out to be ex-HYDRA, then he was going to assume the man had combat skills.

Staying in the shadows as it got darker, Bucky approached closer to the address, a square, ugly building with cheap siding on it. Everything about it on the outside screamed that it was the type of place you wouldn’t want your family living in but by what he could see through the narrow slats of the blinds on the windows the man in the truck lived here with the woman from the supermarket, along with the small child, sitting in a booster chair as she ate. The man finished his plate, then gestured to the woman. Quickly, she stood up, but it wasn’t quick enough for him and he struck her with the back of his hand. Bucky curled his fists up tight when he saw that, then he heard the man’s yelled words to the woman, words that were said in Russian.

“I should have left you to rot there with your parents,” he spewed as she attempted to keep from crying, while hurriedly transferring more food for him onto his plate. “You’re useless, just like your idiot father when he got a stupid idea and sealed his fate.”

She put the full plate of food on the table, then slunk back to a corner of the kitchen, watching him with fearful eyes, as he continued to snarl at her while eating his meal. She began making a lunch for him, three sandwiches, fruit, and cookies, along with a thermos of coffee. Packing it into a metal lunch box, she put it on a table near the door, then backed away again, out of his sightline, and out of his reach. The man finished his meal, looking at her and shaking his head in disgust before leaving the kitchen. Bucky followed the man’s path in the house through the window, seeing him enter a bathroom and closing the door. When he looked back at the woman, she rubbed her cheek and cried silently, before picking up the child and kissing it, fussing over it.

A sound from the bathroom, probably the toilet flushing, alerted her to the man’s imminent appearance and she quickly put the child back in the booster seat, whispering to it. Her face was obscured so Bucky could only assume she was telling the child to stay quiet. The bathroom door opened, and the man came out, going to the bedroom, coming out dressed in a security guard’s uniform. According to the patch on his jacket arm he worked for Marina Security. Returning to the kitchen, the man picked up his lunchbox and thermos, sneered at the woman again and left.

Dropping back into the shadows, Bucky watched the man get into his truck, light up a cigarette, and start the vehicle before he drove away. Back at the window he could see the woman was still in the kitchen, sitting at the table with her face in her hands. There was still no memory of where Bucky had seen the man or the woman before, but he did know one thing. He wasn’t going to leave her there, not with that man using violence against her so easily. Coming out of the shadows he approached the door and knocked on it. It took several long moments before she opened it but when she did her eyes opened wide.

“Soldier?” she asked. “Is it you? Is it really you?”

“It’s who I was,” he replied. “I’m not him anymore. You know me?”

It took a moment for her to realize that he didn’t remember her, and she stepped back, making it possible for him to enter. Closing and locking the door behind him, she stepped past and walked into the kitchen, picking up the child, who just stared at Bucky without fear.

“I’m Katrina,” she said, with the slightest of Russian accents. “You killed my parents.”

Those words hit Bucky hard, even though they were said calmly, without fear. A heat filled him up inside as he felt sick at her revelation. His mouth was dry, and he licked his lips, trying to find a way to answer her statement.

“I don’t remember,” he finally said.

With a sad smile, she nodded, then swallowed. “Sergei said they tried to help you get away from HYDRA about a year before you were recognized, so he betrayed them, and turned them over to the man who was your handler in America. They processed you to perform the execution, wanting them to be an example to anyone else who thought of helping you. Sergei took me back to Russia in 2014 and forced me to be his wife. A year ago, someone contacted him, said they found you here, in New York, because of the Flag Smashers. He came back here with me and my daughter. You must leave before they find you.”

“You’re coming with me,” said Bucky. “I saw how he treated you and I’m not leaving you here.”

A genuine smile appeared on her face, but she shook her head. “He’ll find me. He always does. If I’m with you, then he’ll find you and he will say the words to turn you.”

“They don’t work anymore,” replied Bucky. “I’m in control and I will never be their weapon again. Katrina, you’re terrified of him, and it won’t be long before he turns his anger on your daughter. You know that, right?”

She nodded her head slightly. “He was angry that I didn’t give him a child for so long, then he was angry it wasn’t a son. She’s only three but she already knows he’s not to be trusted.”

“I have friends,” said Bucky. “We’ll protect you. Please.”

She considered his plea, studying his face for some time, then nodded and went into the bedroom, to pack for herself and her daughter, Anna. When she was finished packing, she came back out to the kitchen, stopping in front of a locked cabinet. She looked at Bucky’s left hand.

“Can you break the lock?” she asked.

“Why?”

“I need what’s in here,” she said. “It’s a supplement that Anna and I take every day, during breakfast. Sergei said if we don’t take it then our health will suffer. I don’t know if that’s entirely true, but I don’t want to take any chances.”

Taking hold of the lock in his left hand, Bucky twisted it, tearing it off the door. Katrina opened it to show several unmarked boxes. She pulled them out, then took an already opened bottle that had English handwriting on it. Suppressants for Subject Alpha / Delta / 1. She looked up at Bucky.

“I think I’m Subject Alpha / Delta / 1. Sergei would never say but I know he took these from the base outside Washington and hid them with someone. We were almost out of them in Russia, because he started giving them to Anna about a year ago, and this is all that’s left here.”

“We’ll take them all,” said Bucky, looking for a cloth shopping bag and placing all the boxes and the single bottle inside.

He took the bag and the suitcase, while she picked up Anna. With a final shudder at the cheap accommodations, she went through the door without a backwards look. They walked to the nearest train station, boarding it, and getting off near his flat. Even dressed as they were nobody gave them a second look. They waited briefly in the shadows, while Bucky scanned the area around his residence. Satisfied that nothing was out of place he escorted her into the building, and up the elevator to his floor. Once they were inside, he put her suitcase in the bedroom, pulling out some sweatpants and a T-shirt for himself to wear.

“You and your daughter take the bed,” he said. “I’ll take the couch. Tomorrow, I’ll take you someplace safe, I promise.”

“Soldier,” she began.

He interrupted her. “My name is James Buchanan Barnes. You can call me Bucky. I’m not the Winter Soldier anymore.” He took a ragged breath. “I’m sorry for what I did to your parents. I don’t remember it, but I never had a choice in any of my missions. I still did it, and I accept that responsibility.”

“Bucky,” she said, then she smiled. “I never blamed you for their deaths. You were just the weapon they used.” She looked at her daughter. “I should get her to bed but I would like to talk to you after. Can we do that?”

He nodded and as she prepared the child for sleep, he changed out of his clothing into his comfortable clothes. When she came out of the bedroom, and closed the door, she was also changed, wearing a long-sleeved nightgown. Bucky handed her a throw from the couch as she sat at one end of it and him the other. It took several moments of awkward silence, but he finally turned to her.

“Who were your parents?”

“Irina and Pavel Medvedev, technicians; Papa worked on the cryogenics crew while Mama worked on your arm. They were brought here from Russia, and I was born here in 1998. I didn’t see you often, but when I did, you would watch me. One time, I was playing outside the base building near Washington, as you were escorted out. The guards were ready to kick me out of the way, but you stopped them, even pushed the one man into a fence. Then you waited while I picked up my toys. After that, it seemed like you always watched out for me. We never spoke or interacted that I can remember, but you wouldn’t let them bully me or abuse me.”

“I had a sister,” said Bucky. “13 years younger than me. Maybe you reminded me of her. You’re 26 years old now?” She nodded. “Where were you when your parents were working?”

“I was allowed to go to regular high school,” she smiled. “My parents tried to shield me as much as possible and give me a normal life, but I knew it wasn’t a good place. I always had people watching me, making sure I didn’t say anything about the base, or my parents’ work, or you. Pierce even came to see me several times.” She became solemn then and her lips trembled. “He did say I had a purpose and that when I graduated from high school, I would be brought into the fold. It didn’t happen as he was killed, you escaped, and HYDRA fell apart. That’s when Sergei came and took me away. He said I would be arrested but he could get me to safety. It didn’t take long for me to realize that he was a liar but by then I was in Russia, couldn’t speak the language very well, and he had my American passport.”

“He’s abused you since then, hasn’t he?” asked Bucky.

She nodded. “I was to dress modestly, behave as if I were invisible, don’t speak unless I was spoken to, cook, clean, and keep his house, then submit to him whenever he demanded it. That has been my life for ten years. I had resigned myself to living this way forever.”

The sound of defeat in her voice both saddened and angered him. Yes, her parents were HYDRA but obviously they were not true believers, not if they tried to help him, or they protected her from what was really happening.

“What did Sergei do for HYDRA?” he asked.

“He was part of the guard detail on you,” she answered. “He didn’t like you and I would hear my parents talk of how he would torment you when he thought no one was watching. Several times, he mentioned doing things to you … terrible things that I’m ashamed to repeat.”

“Don’t say them. I have access to the HYDRA files, and I’ll look it up if I want to know. I remember almost all of my victims, but I don’t remember them so either they were wiped completely from my memories or … or they weren’t my victims.”

She shifted more towards him when he said that. “I saw you do it. Pierce ordered everyone to witness it. He said it was an object lesson.”

He looked away, feeling shame that she had been forced to see that when she was so young.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I was responsible for so much death.”

“Bucky, even I knew you had no choice.”

When Katrina began yawning, he encouraged her to go to bed. They could talk more in the morning. Once she was in the bedroom Bucky texted her name, her age, and her parent’s names to Sam, telling him of their HYDRA connection. Then he laid back on his couch, using a cushion for his pillow, and the throw blanket for his cover. It was some time before he fell asleep as he kept thinking there was more to her than even she knew. She was familiar to him, that was certain.

He woke to the touch of a very small but soft hand on his cheek. Opening his eyes, he found himself looking at the face of 3-year-old Anna, who smiled at him.

“Hello,” he said. “What are you doing up?”

“Toast,” she declared. “I want toast.”

“Okay,” he said, standing up. He looked at the time. It was early but not too early for him. “Let’s get you some toast.”

She waited for him to get off the couch and he sat her on a dining chair, telling her to stay while he went to the bathroom. When he came out, she was still sitting patiently. He opened his freezer, pulling out a couple of slices of bread, popping them into the toaster. Since he didn’t know if she had a peanut allergy, he took a jar of strawberry jam out of the fridge.

“You like jam?” he asked. She nodded her head. “Milk?” She nodded her head again. He had another thought while they waited for the toast. “Do you have to go to the bathroom?”

“Yes,” she said, sliding off backwards from the chair.

Taking her hand, he took her to the bathroom, then took a look under her nightgown, noticing she wore a pull up diaper that was wet. Looking away, he slid the diaper off, then sat her on the toilet. Folding up the wet diaper, he put it in the garbage, then opened the door to the bedroom, where Katrina was still asleep. Inside the open suitcase were several unused diapers and he grabbed one, closing the door quietly behind him. When he got back to the bathroom, Anna was still sitting there.

“Are you done?” he asked. “Did you do number 1 or number 2?”

“Number 1,” she answered, putting up one finger. “Toilet paper, please.”

He took some off the roll and handed it to her, looking away while she took care of that, then he put the pull up over her feet, before lifting her off and pulling it up the rest of the way. She stepped close to the toilet to flush it, then smiled at him.

“Good girl,” he said. “Wash your hands.”

He squeezed some liquid soap on her hands, then watched, amused, as she rubbed them together to distribute it. Turning on the water, he held her up so she could rinse the soap off her hands, then dried them with a towel. By the time they got back out to the kitchen the toast was up and he spread jam on it, then cut the slices into quarters, poured her some milk and watched as she devoured the food.

“More?” she asked.

“Do you like eggs?” he asked, thinking some protein would fill her up.

“Yes.”

She smiled sweetly at him, so he pulled the carton of eggs out and made her a cheese omelet, cutting it into pieces for her. While she ate, he made himself an omelet, dicing some onions, peppers, and ham into it, along with the cheese that he always bought pre-shredded. By the time he finished making it she was done, and she looked at him again.

“More please.”

“You’re still hungry?”

She nodded and he kneeled down to her level, looking closely at her. Her eyes were slightly different from the previous evening, as if a different colour was bleeding through. Not only that, he was very aware of her scent, of how much she smelled like her mother, but there was also something else there, something familiar. He cut his omelet up into small bits and moved the plate in front of her, watching as she ate the whole thing.

“Anna, where is she?”

Katrina was standing in the bedroom doorway, almost panicking, then appeared relieved when she saw her daughter. Bucky stood up and looked closely at the woman, noticing changes in her as well, particularly in her eyes. They had started changing colour, just very subtly.

“What?” she asked, noticing how he stared at her. “What’s wrong?”

“Your eyes are changing colour,” he replied. “Both of you. Anna’s also very hungry and has eaten more than an adult for breakfast.”

“Did you give her a pill?”

“No, I didn’t think of it,” he said, watching as Katrina took the bottle out of the shopping bag and removed a green pill from it.

She looked for a glass, filling it with water then offered the pill to Anna, watching carefully as she took it and drank the glass of water. She took one herself then continued to watch Anna carefully, especially in the eyes and began acting normally again as the girl’s eyes went back to their dark brown colour.

“Next time, make sure she has it before you feed her,” she said to Bucky. “Otherwise, she will have a tantrum as her hunger takes over.”

“Who are you, really?” He stared at her, noticing her eyes were also returning to their original colour. “That child ate as much food as I do, and both of your eyes were changing colour, and are now going back to their original colour.

“I don’t really know who I am,” she admitted, seeming distressed. “Everything I told you last night is what I know or remember. Yes, sometimes we get hungry, very hungry to the point of eating everything we can see. I can control it, but Anna is just a child and if she doesn’t get what she wants then she has a tantrum. I don’t know what happens if her tantrum gets out of control because Sergei never let it get that far. There is so much that I had questions about, but he never gave me an answer.”

“Then I’ll take you to someone who can find out the truth,” he said.

He wanted to believe her. Everything in his training indicated she was telling the truth but there was something off about her and the child. Perhaps, it was something that was deliberately kept from her as she grew up. There was only one way to find out and that was going to involve a bit of a drive. He was going to take them to the compound.

Part 2>>

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#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #buckybarnes original female character #hydra #forced marriage #spousal abuse #buckybarnesshortfic #bucky Barnes short fiction

[snarklordjwc]

I noticed something on my way to work today. There is a large building that is a comic store. I was amazed that this was the first time that I realized I was driving by it in this 5 months since I left my abuser.

Amazed because during my abuse that comic store was very important to me. It has large banners on the outside depicting popular super heroes. As the abuse worsened seeing them became my only interaction with any kind of cultural entertainment. Hardly deep but my abuser would only let me see any type of video if she was watching and mostly only rarely.

I was never really deep into comics but I don't know... Maybe I'll get a Superman from the library.

#emotional abuse #abuse tw #spousal abuse #surviving abuse #mental abuse #superman

[nansheonearth]

39 year old man with a net worth of 70 million felt insecure about his girlfriend, 25 year old professional surfer Sarah Brady, wearing bathing suits. Bathing suits that she wears to do her job. Embarrassing. He just wanted a young woman to control. Fucking loser.

#sarah brady #radfem #jonah hill #feminism #spousal abuse #emotional abuse #abuse #male #dump him #o #gender #patriarchy

[life-set-to-random]

Spoiler Alert!

This is from Usagi Yojimbo volume 34, Bunraku and other stories, first chapter, titled “The Hero”. If you haven’t read it and don’t want the ending spoiled for you than stop reading now.

This is Usagi’s friend, Lady Mura, she was a very successful author and her scumbag husband was jealous of her success outshining his own. Even with his own Master praising her talent and saying, “You must be very proud of her.” the jerk could only muster the feeling of jealousy and rage towards his spouse. He kills her and rides off, leaving Usagi to try and comfort her in her final moments.

They’re last panel is heart breaking. I didn’t get a romantic vibe off of this story but I suppose one could look at it that way. Personally I feel they had more of a strong, if tragically short, friendship based off of a shared heritage and mutual respect for each others skills and intelligence.

PS. This guy was an asshole.😡😝

#miyamoto usagi #usagi yojimbo #tragedy #spousal abuse #true friendship #stan sakai #more than just a funny animal comic book #i love this series sm #my childhood #damn good read #japanese culture

[gaycharov]

Hey @staff what the actual fuck is this that you’re allowing on Tumblr Live :)?

“Husband Beater”? Really?

#abuse #spousal abuse #tumblr live #I’m so tired #this isn’t quirky or cute #beating up your spouse isn’t cool just because you’re a woman

[sometimes-men-need-help-too]

As with anything I share from reddit, I cannot verify if this is 100% true or not. However, I’m sharing because of the comment you’ll see next. It’s another example of blatant double standards. But before that, I want to talk a bit about OP’s edit. 

No, the people who told him to man up or grow a pair are not right. That’s victim blaming. I really want people to think about that. Why is it his fault? 

I agree that a lot of people on reddit (or elsewhere) tend to say break up or divorce and usually, it’s not necessary. However, even though that person did come around in the end, that initial comment doesn’t sit right with me. 

She defo sounds like she’s being a monster...but maybe there’s something you’re doing that upsets her? 

This enables abusive women. Why assume it’s all on him? Now, I’m not calling the commenter an abuser, but that is what abusers do. They will blame you. They will manipulate you into thinking it’s all your fault they snapped and did X thing.

“I wouldn’t have gotten mad if you didn’t___” 

“I wouldn’t have hit you if you didn’t__” 

“You shouldn’t have___” 

#mens rights #double standards #male victims #male victims of abuse #spousal abuse #it's still up on reddit #but please don't look for it so you can harass the negative commenters

[abigailmthomasauthor]

If your spouse/partner think they can “confiscate” anything from you, leave them; that is abuse, in its very definition.

#emotional abuse #mental health #mental abuse #abuse mention #spousal abuse #financialabuse

[enoughdonegone]

Unlearning

I was driving around seeing clients yesterday for about 6 hours. I'd only had a bagel for breakfast and it was nearing 6pm. I was pretty hungry.

I stopped for food, and I felt really bad about it. I confessed to my partner that I'd stopped, expecting her to agree with my assessment that it was financially irresponsible.

She didn't. Naturally. Because eating is not a luxury, and it's worth the $17.

#unlearning #food #ptsd #survivor #emotional abuse #healing #recovery #trauma #spousal abuse #psychological abuse #financial abuse #he was bad