#sorry this is still like. top ronan moment of all time. ever.

[in-a-pynch]

Talk to Me

A Pynch Fic

Words: 2919

TW: Abuse (typical Robert Parrish bullshit), Food issues due to anxiety

Ronan paused in the entry way to the dorms at Harvard, struck by what some might call anxiety. Except it’s not. Because Ronan doesn’t get anxious.

What if he doesn’t want me here? What if everything is fine and I’m overreacting?

Ronan clamped down on that idea fast. He knew Adam. And because he knew Adam, he also knew that things have been off, and Adam was trying to pretend that they weren’t. At first, Ronan was going to wait for Adam to come to him, like the adults they were. Ronan didn’t like the idea of him having to beg Adam for information any time something was wrong. But that was before Adam’s roommate, Eliot, texted Ronan. Ronan swiped at his screen to look at the message again.

Yesterday 5:30 PM

Crybaby 1

Hey, I hate to do this but I’ve got to ask, is anything up with you and Adam? He’s been acting strange and distant for like 3 weeks now and every time we mention it he says he’s “fine.” The man is running exclusively on 5 hour energy drinks and granola bars twice a day. We’re getting worried but he won’t talk to us.

That text was what put Ronan over the edge. 

He’d hoped that if Adam wasn’t talking to him, he would at least be getting support from his other friends. He hadn’t seen it until late, but he had immediately sent a response.

Yesterday 10:03 PM

No idea. Be up tomorrow.

Ronan paused, then:

Don’t tell Adam.

So now Ronan was in Cambridge. Standing outside his boyfriend’s building like some sort of coward. He knew Adam missed him. At least, he sure missed Adam. Still, the fear that Adam wouldn’t tell him what has been bothering him or, worse, Ronan is what has been bothering Adam, kept him glued to the sidewalk.

Deep breaths. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Ronan decided to take the stairs. For exercise, obviously. Not because he was nervous. Despite his racing thoughts, Ronan had to admit he was excited to see his boyfriend. Adam hadn’t made it back for spring break this year, and it had been far too long since Ronan had a chance to see his Magician. Stopping in front of Adam’s door, Ronan shrugged his backpack more squarely onto his shoulders, gave his trademarked slouch, rolled his eyes at his own ridiculousness, and then knocked.

The door opened. Adam stared. Ronan blinked. It was Adam that broke the silence.

“Ro? What are you doing here?”

For a second, Ronan had to gather himself, not really believing his eyes.

What the fuck Parrish?

Ronan wrapped his arms around Adam and pressed his cheek to the top of Adam’s head. Rather than give a real reply, a reply which Adam certainly would not have liked, he shrugged into the embrace and simply said,

“I missed you.”

Ronan doesn’t lie, but he also loves his boyfriend enough not to tell the whole truth. Yet. Instead, Ronan squeezed tighter.

Fuck he’s lost weight… Eliot wasn’t kidding about the granola bars.

Adam pulled away enough to look at Ronan’s face, likely trying to read his expression to see if there was more. Whatever he decided, he didn’t elaborate, replying with a tentative smile and a kiss.

“Yeah, well I missed you too, you sap.”

Ronan scowled without any real malice. “Shut up Parrish.”

Adam pulled away fully, but linked their fingers together, using them to tug Ronan into the dorm. Ronan shut the door and followed Adam into the tiny, but still cozy, bedroom. Ronan tossed his backpack on the floor and turned around to Adam pushing himself up onto the slightly elevated twin bed. Ronan stopped and took Adam in for just a moment.

As sexy as his boyfriend was, it was not a good moment.

Despite the smirk on Adam’s face as he watched Ronan get situated, his face showed the marks of what could only be pure exhaustion. Dark circles lined his kind eyes, and his bottom lip was chapped from where Adam nervously chewed on it. Just like he was doing right now, as Ronan so obviously analyzed his appearance. Fuck. Ronan forced himself to smile, he didn’t want to ruin the reunion.

We’ll talk about this tomorrow, Parrish.

“You know, Opal’s going to kill me for coming to see you without her,” Ronan admitted.

Adam laughed.

Damn if I didn’t miss that laugh more than anything.

“Oh yeah?” He replied, “Chainsaw isn’t enough to keep her occupied for the weekend? What ever will she do without you there to brood at her?”

“No you idiot,” Ronan vaulted himself onto the bed, planting himself firmly on the pillows. “The problem isn’t that I’m not there. The problem is that she isn’t here with your smiling face…” Ronan faltered for a second, realizing that if Eliot was being honest, this is probably the first time Adam has smiled in a while. Ronan pulled his leg onto the bed to untie his combat boots. Pulling one off and chucking it at the wall, before repeating the process with the other to procrastinate starting another conversation other than, ‘What is your deal?’. Adam must have sensed his hesitation, quickly saying,

“So, have you completed any of those projects you had set out to do on the farm the last time I was home?”

Ronan glowed at Adam’s description of the Barns as home and, just like that, Ronan and Adam talked as though nothing was wrong. Chattering about the new floors Ronan was putting in one of the stables and the new cow Opal had taken a liking to. Time slipped away as the two boys filled each other in on things too trivial to be worth mentioning in their phone calls. Not that Ronan didn’t notice Adam deflecting questions about himself or how his classes were going or what he had been up to with his friends lately. Ronan absolutely did, and each denial and topic change had his hackles raising because why won’t he just tell me what’s wrong?

Ronan was uncomfortably reminded of the early days of his and Adam’s friendship. When it had been clear that they had more in common than Gansey’s unyielding loyalty, but still didn’t quite trust each other with the things that mattered. The days when Adam would show up with a black eye and reply “Oh this? My hand slipped at the shop and I dropped a tool on my own face while under a car, dumb right?” Or the weeks after that god-awful dream when Ronan didn’t sleep because “fuck off Parrish, if I needed another Gansey I’d let you know.”

Ronan went to pick up pizza so as not to absolutely lose it.

And it worked. Mostly. Well, it worked until Adam sat there on the bed claiming he was full after having only picked at one small piece of pizza. Ronan ignored him, shoving another slice of veggie into Adam’s hand.

“You need to eat. Chainsaw eats more than you.”

Adam sighed, putting the pizza back into the box, not doing anything to help Ronan’s already stellar mood.

“I eat.”

“Fuck off with that bullshit, Parrish. When was the last time you ate a full meal?”

“Ronan,” Adam rolled his eyes playfully, clearly trying to lighten the mood. “You’re overreacting—“

“Am I Adam? You see, I don’t think I am, because it appears this isn’t the only thing you’ve not been upfront with me on recently.”

Adam’s eyes went cold.

“Cool, I was wondering when we were going to get to the actual reason you’re here right now.”

“Can I not just want to see my boyfriend after two fucking months apart?”

“Don’t lie to me, Ronan. You’re bad at it.”

“That’s fucking rich coming from you.” Ronan combated dryly, trying to restrain his frustration.

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

Ronan laughed without humor. “It means that for some fucking reason my boyfriend has been falling apart at the seams for weeks and didn’t tell me shit until it got so bad that his roommate texted me to see if he was okay! It means that you don’t look like you’ve been sleeping enough and you definitely haven’t been eating enough but you still start every phone call with ‘I’m doing fine how ‘bout you, Ro?’ It means that for some reason I’m being shut out, and you won’t tell me what I did wrong!”

After airing his frustrations, Ronan deflated. He rubbed his hands over his face, then through his hair to rest on his neck, curling in on himself. He sighed, resigning himself to whatever answer his boyfriend had to give. 

“What did I do wrong, Adam?” His voice cracked.

Ronan looked up at Adam, who looked smaller than Ronan had seen him in a long time. As soon as the question had sunk in, Adam was immediately shaking his head, reaching to hold Ronan’s face between his warm dry palms.

“No, no.. Fuck, Ro, this isn’t your fault at all.”

Ronan put his hands on top of Adam’s, whose thumbs were rubbing small circles on Ronan’s cheeks.

“Then what is going on Adam? If it isn’t me that’s the problem, then why won’t you open up to me? I haven’t felt this distant from you since before you left that fucking trailer—“

Adam froze, a look in his eyes that Ronan hadn’t seen in a while: fear and… is that guilt? Ronan grabbed Adam’s hands tighter as the realization seeped in.

Robert Fucking Parrish.

“When?” Ronan said with steel in his voice, lowering their hands from his face but still gripping them tightly.

Adam avoided his eyes and gritted his teeth. “When what?”

“When did he fucking contact you Adam?”

“Ro you don’t get it. This is my fault.”

“In what universe has anything he’s ever done to you been your fault..”

“I told them they could—“

“Could what?!”

“Could contact me and—“

“And why the fuck did you tell him that?!”

“For god’s sake Ronan would you let me finish?” Adam said harshly.

Ronan closed his mouth, took a deep breath, and then opened it to use a word he’d been practicing.

“Sorry. Go ahead.”

Adam’s face softened, and then returned to the guilty look from earlier.

“When I graduated..” Adam swallowed. “When I graduated I went back to see my mom. I did it while my dad was at work. I had some crazy idea in my head that now that I had graduated and made it into an Ivy League that she would maybe listen to me for the first time in my life…” Adam trailed off, lost in his thoughts.

Ronan squeezed his hands and Adam’s eyes focused again.

“I had gotten it in my head,” he continued, “that my mom wanted to leave just as bad as I did. That she too was tired of my da— Robert’s behavior and would want to leave if she had another option. I asked her to move to Cambridge with me.”

Ronan inhaled sharply. Why didn’t he tell me?

“I figured that we could get an apartment and drop off of Robert Parrish’s map. It wouldn’t have been easy, but god if I didn’t want to do for her what you did for me.” Adam’s eyes went glassy and he squeezed Ronan’s hands tighter. “She said no, of course. Told me that she loves him and everything that happened was my fault, but it was obvious she was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince me.” Adam took a big inhale and then exhaled. “I said okay. I know as well as anyone that you can’t leave a situation like that until you’re ready, and even then sometimes it just doesn’t work out like that.” A tear leaked down his cheek, which he wiped clumsily on his shoulder as to not let go of Ronan’s hands.

“I gave her my phone number, just in case she changed her mind. I wanted to let her know that there’s a way out, even if she chooses not to take it.” Adam stopped, trying to calm himself, but Ronan could tell that wasn’t the end of the story.

“She called for the first time about a month ago and told me she was done, that she wanted to leave. I was so relieved. I told her to pack a bag and let me know a time and place, that I would drive down to pick her up. That we would figure something out. I immediately got online and started looking for apartments… I even applied for another job so that I could pay for it. But then I didn’t hear from her for a whole day, and I was getting worried. I didn’t want to call her in case he picked up because then she wouldn’t be safe, so I waited. A day and a half after she called the first time she called again and said she had made a mistake. That I needed to stop planting ideas in her head and that their marital problems were all my fault anyway. I could tell she didn’t mean it, that she was scared, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.” The tears were flowing freely down Adam’s face at this point, but he seemed not able to bring himself to care.

“To make things even better, somehow Robert got ahold of my number,”

Ronan felt his shoulders tense.

“And, now, he calls me three or four times a week to remind me of how I ruined him and my mother, how his drunkenness is a result of how difficult I have made their lives, and how my entitlement was really the root of his inability to hold a job. Somehow.” Adam managed a watery chuckle in spite of himself, and then sobered. “I can’t block him because mom might change her mind. I can’t possibly imagine where I would be if you and Gansey gave up on me every time it caused you a bit of trouble.”

Ronan’s heart ached in his chest, knowing Adam was never any trouble to either him or Gansey, but also knowing Adam was not in a place to hear this. Instead, he pulled Adam into his arms, as if cradling him to the source of the hurt would soothe the pain. In some ways it worked. Ronan took a minute to gather his thoughts (also something he had been practicing) before he spoke.

“You have the kindest heart of anyone I know and the patience of a saint, Adam Parrish. You shouldn’t be punished for that kindness.”

Adam shook his head and the tears ran faster down his face as Adam turned around and swung his leg over Ronan’s. Now straddling him, Adam leaned his head on Ronan’s chest, hearing his voice vibrate through his good ear.

“I know you think that there is no other way to deal with this other than continually putting yourself through the very abuse you worked so hard to escape from. I want you to remember that, as much as your mom is a victim, she also had a duty as your mom to protect you and care for you.” Ronan kissed the top of Adam’s head. “She hasn’t held up her end of the bargain for the last 20 years. It’s a lot to ask of yourself to play the part she should have been playing all along when it means you have to face the very same verbal abuse she was complicit in.”

Adam nodded, but Ronan could tell that, while Adam knew logically that his mom’s situation is not his burden to bear, he couldn’t yet make his emotions reflect that reality. Suddenly, Adam sat up, face to face with Ronan.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Ronan,” he said softly. “I was embarrassed I got myself into this, and I knew you wouldn’t have approved of me talking to my mom again. I didn’t want to burden you with a problem that you would have been able to avoid.”

Ronan scoffed gently. “Idiot. I wouldn’t have known if I could avoid that problem or not because I’m not you. As much as I care about your experiences and try to empathize, it would be very unfair of me to make assumption based on my own life. I need you to talk to me. It sucks feeling distant and hopeless.”

Adam sniffed though the slowing tears, but smiled slightly. “Yeah, okay, Ro.”

“And we can handle this however you want. I am here for you regardless.” Ronan pulled his sleeves over his hands and used them to gently wipe off Adam’s face. “I just need you to work towards being okay again. Eating, sleeping… you know the basic bullshit we have to do as humans.” Ronan said with a half-smile.

Adam just looked at Ronan for a minute, giving him time to think, damn I’m lucky, before being pulled into a gentle kiss.

“Now,” Ronan said with a yawn and a smile, “it’s time to catch up on some of that sleep you desperately need.” He ran his thumbs feather-light over Adam’s dark circles before tipping the two of them over in bed.

Ronan tangled their legs as he pulled the covers over them both.

Fuck, I missed this.

“Tamquam,” Adam whispered into Ronan’s neck.

“Alter idem.”

Ronan closed his eyes as Adam snored softly.  

This was my first fic so I’d love to know your thoughts!

AO3 @ in_a_pynch 

#pynch #ronan x adam #ronan lynch #adam parrish #pynch fanfiction #hurt/comfort #abuse #food issues

[emmerrr]

Possible prompt if you’re interested could be Declan finally seeing one of the portraits Jordan does of him! Alternatively, jordeclan moving in together and creating a space where neither of them has to hide themself in an attic

i can’t resist a moving in fic and i’m sorry this took so long

-

It’s late afternoon when the final box is removed from the moving van, and just for a moment, the excitement is overshadowed by the overwhelming task of unpacking that lies ahead.

Boxes, boxes, everywhere. Declan closes the front door and follows a trail of them to the bedroom where he finds Jordan, curled up on top of the bed they’ve not long finished making. Her eyes are shut, her breathing even, but Declan isn’t fooled.

He crosses his arms and leans nonchalantly against the doorframe. “Faker.”

Jordan affects a snore which makes Declan laugh, and she opens an eye, that wicked grin that stole his heart spreading across her face. She pats the empty space beside her. “You know you want to.”

He really, really does. He kicks off his shoes and crawls up beside her, his feet instantly grateful for the reprieve. He groans happily, sinking his face into the softest pillow in the world. He feels Jordan press her face into his arm and turns his head, and for a moment they just watch each other.

“We have so much unpacking to do,” Declan finally says.

Jordan nods. “We do. Don’t worry, it’s not going anywhere.” She lifts Declan’s arm and tucks herself underneath, then kisses his collarbone.

He sighs, happily resigned to his fate. The house is still a mess of boxes, they need some more furniture, and the whole thing is still too new and alien for it to quite feel like home. But with Jordan in his arms, nodding off to sleep in the bed they now share in the place that’s just theirs, it’s the closest to home Declan’s ever felt.

-

“What do you think?”

“It’s hideous.”

“Isn’t it?” Jordan says dreamily. “Sit on it.”

Declan eyes the armchair dubiously. It’s some kind of paisley print in the most garish of colour schemes; bright pink and orange, smatterings of yellow and turquoise. “It won’t go with the rest of the living room furniture,” he tries.

“Your doubts are duly noted,” Jordan says sagely. “Sit.”

“...This feels like a trap.”

“Sit.”

Declan sits.

It’s the most comfortable chair he’s ever had the pleasure of sitting on, and he does everything he can not to let his face give that fact away. He shrugs. “It’s alright.”

Jordan grins the grin of the triumphant, and Declan knows they’re getting it.

He tries to imagine it in their space, and suddenly finds that he can. He can picture where it will go; at an angle, equidistant from the fireplace and the TV. He can picture them in the winter, him and Jordan cuddled up together, blanket tossed over them, snow falling outside, the light of the fire covering the whole room in a cozy glow.

He thinks he might be going soft, and he thinks that might be okay.

“I told you we’d find something in a thrift store,” Jordan says, her fingers twined through his as she leads him to the checkout counter.

He pulls her hand to his mouth, kisses it gently. “So you did.”

-

The furniture is pulled back from the walls and newspaper covers the floor as Jordan and Declan stand, paint rollers in hand, transforming their bedroom walls from a bland and safe off-white to a lovely deep forest-green.

Jordan’s phone is playing music through wireless speakers, a playlist that seems to jump from Rihanna to Metallica to Taylor Swift to Arcade Fire to some K-pop band Declan doesn’t know the name of, and so on, in no discernable pattern that he can follow.

“What playlist is this?”

Jordan smiles wryly. “It’s all songs that Hennessy hates.”

Declan thinks about that, and about all the canvases in the spare room that Jordan has set up as her art studio, original pieces that she started and then aborted.

“Is there still a part of you,” he says carefully, “that thinks everything you like, or create, or choose, is really just some facet of Hennessy’s personality and not truly your own?”

Jordan’s expression hardens, and he knows he’s hit a nerve. “That depends,” she says evenly. “Is there still a part of you that thinks this is doomed? You and me?”

It’s Declan’s turn for a wry smile. “Touché.”

Their love story is a unique one, and Declan can’t deny he’s had his moments of thinking that it’s all going to end in flames. But through it all he also knows that he’d still be here, even if they were heading towards their inevitable end. He wants this, for as long as he can have it.

It’s hard to stop constantly thinking about worst case scenarios, because it’s so ingrained in Declan to do just that. But Jordan quiets that part of his brain with a touch, or even a look. Just being in her presence is a balm to his heart and his mind.

They’re happy. And maybe they’ll be okay. Who’s to say?

“For the record,” he says at last, “I don’t think this is doomed.”

“No?”

He shakes his head. “No. And also, you are your own person, independent of Hennessy.”

“You think?”

“I know.”

Jordan puts down her roller, and cups Declan’s face, bringing it down to hers as she kisses him. She’s probably getting paint on his face, but he doesn’t care; not now, not ever.

“For what it’s worth, you are the best choice I ever made,” she says fiercely, her forehead pressed to his.

He kisses her again, soft. “It’s worth everything.”

-

“When are you going to put your paintings up?”

It’s a fair question. They’ve been here almost four months now, and everything from Declan’s attic in the D.C. house is still leaning up against the wall in Jordan’s art studio, covered over.

“There’s no attic here.”

“Ha, ha,” Jordan says sarcastically.

The truth is, he doesn’t know quite why he hasn’t gotten around to it. At first it was for practical reasons; they had painting and other repair work to do in several rooms, so it made sense to wait until that was all finished.

But it is finished now, and it has been for weeks, and other art pieces and photographs have gone up; some of it Jordan’s own work, some that she bought (or stole) once upon a time, some that they bought together. But nothing from his own collection, nothing that he had kept locked up for his eyes only until Jordan had shown up and gently prised the key from his hand.

His silence drags for so long that Jordan drops the sarcasm. She puts her hand on his chest. “This is our place. Yours and mine. You don’t have to hide here.”

Because he has been hiding away, for years, so much so that it’s habit more than anything that seemingly forbade him from doing anything that wasn’t cookie-cutter.

But Jordan sees him, she knows him; the real him behind the slick, designer veneer, and that’s the part she loves.

The part that wears fancy shoes.

“Come on, then,” he says, taking her hand. “You can help me decide where they should go.”

“I’m so glad you said that because actually I already have some ideas,” she says, and that's how they spend the afternoon.

They take Declan out of the attic, one piece at a time.

-

It’s quiet when Declan gets home. He takes his shoes off by the door and hangs his coat up, then makes his way through the house, peeking in each of the rooms in search of Jordan.

She’s not in the living room, where Declan’s favourite hideous armchair now lives. Matthew fell asleep in it on New Year’s Eve, and Ronan drew a monocle and handlebar moustache on his face. It had been a quiet one; they’d played games most of the evening, almost all of which were won by Adam, and at midnight Ronan and Hennessy had been in charge of the dream fireworks they set off outside.

The kitchen is also empty when Declan scans it, his eyes lingering on the slight chip in one of the floorboards from where Jordan had dropped the admittedly ridiculously heavy cast-iron skillet when they were unpacking. He remembers accidentally flipping a pancake right out of the pan and onto the burner. He remembers burnt toast and spilt coffee and broken crockery, and various other messes, but most of all he remembers the laughter that went along with all of it. The dancing in the kitchen at 2am, the doing the dishes in companionable silence, the domesticity in helping each other prepare a meal.

These are the things Declan now thinks about when he thinks about the concept of home. Maybe it’s a place where the good memories you make outweigh the ones that hurt. Maybe home is what you make of it, the stamp you put on it to make it your own. Maybe home is a person. 

Maybe it’s a combination of all of those things.

Declan finds Jordan, inevitably, in her studio. She has headphones on which explains the quiet, and she’s working on a painting, the canvas almost as tall as she is. There’s no reference that Declan can see, and it’s not a copy. She’s painting just for the sake of it, a complete original.

He moves carefully around until he’s in Jordan’s eyeline, and the laser focus in her eyes shifts to a smile of delight when she spots him. There’s paint splattered on her overalls, specks of it on her face and in her hair, but she never looks more radiant than when she looks at Declan like this.

“You’re home!” she exclaims, pulling her headphones down.

“I am,” he agrees, warmth settling in his chest.

“I’d kiss you but I’m all painty.”

“I don’t care,” Declan says, and he closes the gap between them, sweeping her up into his arms as he kisses her, swallowing up her delighted little “oh!”

“You’re in a good mood,” she says with a laugh when he puts her down.

“Just happy to be home.” It’s so strange to finally be able to say that, and to really mean it. He’s home with Jordan, where he belongs. “You about ready to take a break? I was going to make coffee.”

“I’ll be out in a minute. Make me a latte?”

Declan smiles. “For you? Anything.”

#cdth #jordeclan #dreamertrilogy #tumblr prompts #trc

[nicole-lynne]

Cold Houses Cause Confessions

Description: Lip’s defensive about reader wanting to put in money for the gas bill. Confessions and feelings are spilled. (Set in Season 1).

Warnings: Swearing

Pairing: Lip Gallagher x Reader

“Jesus, why is it so fuckin’ cold in here?” You exclaimed as you strolled into the Gallagher kitchen, wrapping your sweater around you tighter. 

Fiona looked up at you and opened her mouth to answer when Carl leapt down the stairs. 

“Turned it down so I could see your nipples, sweetcheeks.” He said as he blew you a kiss and a cheeky wink. 

You wrinkled your nose at him. “Piss off, Carl. Fi?” 

“Gas bill was late, ew Carl, don’t put that up your nose, anyways so now they won’t turn it back on unless we pay the whole thing.” Fiona said as she frantically cleaned up the kitchen table. She wiped some grime off her face and glanced over her shoulder with a ‘same fuckin’ shit’ look. 

“Oh damn, that sucks.” You turned to dig through the laundry on the top of the washer. A small smile slipped as you found one of Lip’s hoodies and tugged it on. “How much is the bill?” 

“Like 530 bucks. Debbie, go check the cushions. That should be good for at least 5 or 10 bucks. Has anyone seen Ian or Lip? Carl, please stop melting things in the microwave. ” 

You watched the girl who was practically your sister as she ran around the kitchen, picking things up and setting them back down as she got distracted. She looked stressed to the max and you knew that this gas bill was just another card on a trembling tower. 

“I’ve got $120 from winning a couple games of pool from some losers at the Alibi, let me put that in.” 

Lip stomped down the stairs, his boots hitting the floor loudly, “no, keep it. We’ve got it covered.” He barely glanced in your direction as he crossed to the fridge and buried his head in it. 

You scowled at his back and crossed your arms angrily, “You can’t tell me what to do, Lip. I may be your best friend but you’re not the boss of me. I’m here all the time so it’s only fair for me to pull my own weight.” 

“I said, you’re not giving us any fuckin’ money.” 

Lip slammed the fridge, he brow scrunched together with frustration. Automatically, you glanced down to watch his hands flex and curl together. He had a cigarette dangling between his lips and your heart sped up with desire. Finally, you cleared your throat and forced yourself to focus back on the current conversation. 

“Are you even listening to me right now, Y/N?” He spat out.

“Lip, can you please stop? She’s the nicest girl that’s ever stepped foot in this house and she’s never gonna come back if you keep being mean.” Debbie whined from the living room. 

You rolled your eyes with exasperation. “Debbie, I’m not gonna stop coming around just because Lip is an asshole.” Lip gave you a deep frown. “Besides, I like you and Fiona so much better than him.” Fiona flashed a grin at you from across the kitchen. 

Lip opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by Steve slamming open the door. He waltzed in with a big goofy smile on his face and his eyes brightened as they landed on Fiona. You waved lightly at him before looking back at Lip. He was leaned against the counter, glaring out the window. 

“Hey guys, we’re going out with V and Kev tonight. Think you can handle watching the kiddos?” Fiona asked, a begging smile sent in your direction. 

Lip sighed loudly and crossed his arms tightly over his chest but you jumped up to block him. “Yeah of course, Fi, I’ll watch em. No promises that Carl won’t blow a hole in the wall, but he’ll have all his limbs at the end of the night.” 

Steve grimaced, “god, please don’t give him any ideas.” 

You laughed at the look on his face as he imagined Carl laughing maniacally in the middle of a giant hole in the side of the house. Fiona yanked a tank top off the washer and threw it over her head, shaking out her wild hair. She giggled as she stumbled to put her heels on before grabbing Steve’s hand. 

“Fucking hell...” Lip muttered under his breath.

“Y/N, are you sure you guys will be good? Liam should be out already and Debbie just needs to-” 

“Fi,” you wrapped your arms around Debbie as the little girl padded into the room and placed your chin on her head, “can you just go have fun, please? I’ve handled these heathens before and I will handle them again.” 

Fiona gave you a look of relief and Steve mouthed a ‘thank you’ from the door behind her. You shoo-ed them both out the door. Fiona hollered out goodnights to Debbie and the door slammed shut. 

“Okay, kiddo, why don’t you go grab a few comforters and bundle up on the couch. I brought us some microwave popcorn and feature flick.” You winked at her and she squealed excitedly. You chuckled as she dashed into the living room. “Oh, and put on another sweatshirt!”

You whirled around to smile at Lip but immediately frowned when you found the kitchen empty. Your heart sank into your stomach. The sleeves on Lip’s hoodie dropped over your fingers and you rubbed the worn edge nervously. 

Debbie yelled from living room that she was ready, so with a turn on your heel, you headed into the living room to snuggle with her. 

“Carl! Get your ass down here, we’re watching The Hangover! And put on a couple pairs of socks, we can’t afford you losing a toe from frostbite.” 

Carl thudded down the stairs and jumped over the back of the couch. You tucked the blankets around the three of you tightly, in a slight attempt to keep the chilly air out.  You pecked a kiss on Debbie’s cheek, rolling your eyes when Carl puckered up for you, instead you leaned forward and clicked on the movie. 

~~~

The credits started rolling and you shifted slightly just in time to catch the clock flipping to 12:30am. Softly, you tugged your arm out from under Carl to rub your tired eyes. You twisted and turned and slipped up from under the two little bodies, shifting them onto the couch better. 

You kissed both the kids heads and whispered, “Goodnight kiddos, I’ll be right upstairs.” 

Straightening up, you stared up the stairs and gulped. You hadn’t seen a glimpse of Lip for the whole night and your anxiety was growing more and more by the second. You pulled the hoodie over your nose and took a deep breath in. 

There was a flutter in your heart at the smell of Lip and there was a tug at your being to be with him. The corners of your mouth fell again thinking of how angry he looked earlier tonight. You couldn’t figure out what you’d done or said to piss him off so much when you were just trying to help the people you considered family. 

You released another large sigh and drug your feet up the stairs. It was as quiet as it could be in the Gallagher household but you always felt comfortable surrounded by these walls. You shimmied in between the crack of Lip’s door, glancing at Ian’s sleeping body. 

For a moment, you considered passing out in Carl’s empty bed but the draw to Lip was overwhelming. Silently, you slipped your pants off, dug through Lip’s drawers to find a pair of sweats, and tugged them up. 

Hestitanting for just a moment longer before the cold settled on your skin and you heaved yourself up the bunk bed. Lip was facing the wall but you watched him shift to give you room to crawl under the covers. 

Quickly, you cuddled against his back trying to soak up any bit of warmth, noting how tense he was. You traced shapes on his shoulder blade with your fingers for a few minutes, trying to decide how long you should wait before you passed out. 

“L? You still awake?” 

He was quiet and you were positive that he truly was asleep. Just as you closed your eyes, he rolled onto his back. His eyes were wide open and he was staring at the ceiling. 

You peaked your eye open to look at him and then closed it again, promptly deciding to ignore him. He rolled again and suddenly his arm was flung over your waist and his legs tangled with yours. 

It was dead quiet between the two of you. 

“I’m sorry I yelled at you tonight.” 

You looked over at him. His icy blue eyes were filled with regret and you felt your heart soften just a little. 

“I didn’t deserve that, Lip. And I’m not quite sure why you were so mad at me for wanting to help out.” 

Lip lifted his hand and stroked his thumb against your soft cheek. “I know. I know that, Y/N.” 

“Then why’d you do it, L?” 

“Because you shouldn’t have to waste your money on us. You shouldn’t have to be to be brought down by the Gallaghers.” 

Your mouth gaped open in shock. That hadn’t been what you were expecting. You had thought maybe he’d gotten screwed out of some money or Karen had been a bitch that day, but not some ridiculous thought like the family being a bother to you. 

“Are you an idiot, Phillip Ronan Gallagher? This is my family and you are not some deadweight that’s bringing me down. Where would you even get such a shit idea?” 

Lip’s eyes fell, “I’ve seen first hand the destruction that we can cause. I just don’t want to see you caught up in it all. You should be saving your money instead of spending it on our gas bill. That money could pay for your college.” 

You twisted your hands into Lip’s shirt tightly. “Lip, I love yo-all you guys. I don’t give a shit what happens, I’m with you through it all. Even if that means having to beat a few more dickbeaters at pool to throw in some cash.” 

“But what about-”

“No, L, not even then. Not after anything.” Lip started to relent and gave you a small smile. “Besides, I think I might have a future with Carl.” 

Lip growled and smacked you in the face with a pillow. You erupted in a fit of giggles as you tried to escape his grip. Lip was laughing with you, tickling your sides, enjoying the sight of your smiling face. 

“Can you two lovebirds shut the hell up, I’m tryin’ to sleep over here.” Ian’s voice rang out in the room. 

You and Lip froze, wide eyes looking at each other before bursting out in laughter. Lip pulled you in a little closer and slipped his hands under your shirt. You squealed loudly as his ice cold fingers ghosted over your stomach. 

“Fuckin’ christ, it’s colder than a witches tit in a brass bra.” 

“God, you’re such a fuckin’ weirdo, L.” You giggled.

Lip pinched you lightly, “you’re the weirdo who stole my sweatshirt, babe.” 

You stopped squirming and looked up at him, your cheeks red with embarrassment or cold, you couldn’t tell. “Um, I’m sorry. I was just freezing and it was the first thing I saw. I’ll give it back-”

“Y/N, stop, I don’t want you to give it back. It looks way better on you, you should keep it.” He paused, sitting up and resting on his elbow. You rested your head against his pillow and watched the curve of his neck, his bicep tightened, and the rise and fall of his chest. 

“I really appreciate how much you do for us, Y/N. You...you help keep the house together when Fiona’s stressed, Debbie loves having another girl to hang out with, Ian thinks you’re the only funny one, and hell, you’re the only one that Carl doesn’t try to explode.” He paused. “I just want to protect you from bad things, and I know how bad the Gallaghers can be.” 

Your set a hand over his forearm, “newsflash, L, you’re a Gallagher too. And you’re the best guy I’ve ever known. I love that you want to protect me, but you can’t protect me from your family because they’re my family too.” 

Lip’s eyes were shining brightly, taking in everything about this moment. 

“I love you, Y/N. Like I’m in love with you.” 

You pinched your brows together and the breath was caught in your throat. You must be dreaming, this cannot be real life. The person you’d loved for years was saying the words you’d longed to hear for so long. 

“Wh-what about Karen?” You stammered. 

“Fuck Karen. She’s nothing to me, she hasn’t been for a long time. I’ve just been ignoring what was right in front of me for so long.” 

You were hypersensitive to the feeling of Lip’s fingers on your skin, rubbing back and forth. It was hard to think of anything else then his body against yours. The sound of your heartbeat was pounding in your ear. You were positive that Lip could hear it too, maybe even Ian across the room. 

“I-I don’t know what to say...” 

“Tell me that you love me too. I know you do, Y/N, I can see it in your eyes. Every day, you look at me with your big beautiful eyes and I can feel how much you care about me.” Lip inched a little closer. “At first, it scared me. It really did. The thought of having someone, my best friend, who loved me after all this fucked up shit, that I could fuck up and lose the one person I relied on...” 

“Lip-”

“No, let me finish.” He rested his forehead against yours. 

You placed your hand on his cheek, encouraging him to continue. 

“Y/N, you’re the person that I know I can count on every day. I wake up in the morning and my day, my life is chaos, but you always know exactly what to do to make things calm. I’m tired of pushing away my feelings. I’m tired of you not being mine...” He trailed off. 

You paused to see if he was finished before taking the leap and smashing your lips against his. Your heart was singing at the feeling of Lip tightened his arms around your body and kissed you back hard. His tongue traced along your bottom lip, asking for permission. You opened your mouth and his tongue swept in against yours. 

Lip rolled on top of you and slipped his leg in between yours, swallowing a moan that came from you. You ran your hands through his hair and pulled slightly, your legs wound around his waist. Your lungs were burning for air and you finally separated, both of you panting heavy. 

“God, I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.” Lip mumbled. 

You smiled at him lovingly. You could feel his heart beating against your chest and you had this urge to be even closer to him. 

“I love you too, Lip. I’ve always loved you. I-I just never thought you could love me back, so I’ve never said anything. Every girl you’ve been with... None of them have ever deserved you.” 

Lip pecked a big kiss on your lip. “Now I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.” 

“Stop saying that, L. You are amazing and I’m extremely lucky to be here with you.” You nuzzled against his chest. 

Lip bent his head down and pressed his lips to yours again. This was a more gentle kiss than the first one. This was the one that felt more real, something that wasn’t only fueled by lust and passion. This kiss felt like it would be the beginning of a happy story for you two. 

“I swear to god, you two better not fuck while I’m here. I’ll smother you both in your sleep.” Ian groaned loudly before shoving his pillow over his head. 

You and Lip broke your kiss in shock before starting to laugh again. Lip tipped over to your side and tugged you in tight against him, smoothing your wild hair down.

“Get the hell over here and warm me up, babe.” 

You grinned to yourself before shoving your face into the crook of his neck. “We are so paying that gas bill tomorrow, I can’t have you losing any important parts.”

#lip gallagher #lip gallagher x reader #lip x reader #shameless #phillip gallagher #shameless season 1 #fiona gallagher #ian gallagher #debbie gallagher #carl gallagher #reader insert #x reader #fanfiction

[astudyinfreewill]

dear adambra, can u spare a chainsaw & adam bonding time with a pinch (heh) of ronan pining for this trying times 😔👊

vila!!! 💕sorry it took me so long but i finally got around to this. i hope you like it! 😚 (and anon – i hope you don’t mind that i joined these two prompts!! 💞)

this and more i sat divining

1.3k, fluff, (sort-of-mutual) pining, pre-relationship (takes place before trk)

read on ao3

The thing of it was, Ronan thought glumly, that Chainsaw was a filthy little traitor.

It was hard enough to stop himself from spilling all of his secrets in front of Parrish; he didn’t need his psychopomp – one of his own secrets! – to expose him like this.

Ronan had spent a long time trying to hide the truth of his feelings from himself. He had done this by keeping them mired in self-loathing and buried under self-destructiveness. But something had changed over the summer.

Why do you hate yourself?

I don’t.

And he didn’t, not anymore. Not much, anyway. There were good days and bad days; but the important thing was that once that wall had crumbled – once Ronan had started loving himself again – he’d cautiously dared to reach out to the rest of his feelings, including the ones he felt for a certain over-tired, stubborn, car-fixing, uncanny, beautiful-handed magician.

The problem was that once he’d started – once he’d thrown open the floodgates – he’d been unable to stop feeling those feelings. Ronan now lived in fear that one word too much would give him away, reveal his innermost desires, gushing out of him like a volcanic eruption. Adam probably knew, anyway. He was clever like that. Ronan thought he knew, at least – there was something different, weighted, in the looks he sometimes cast Ronan’s way – but if he did, he hadn’t said anything about it, whether to acknowledge Ronan’s feelings or reject them.

Ronan could tell him. But he didn’t know what it would do to their friendship. And it turned out, now that he was no longer consumed with jealousy over Gansey or trying hard to choke down his own shameful, fearful feelings, he quite enjoyed being Adam’s friend. He didn’t want to ruin it all on a chance. So he kept quiet; he hoped and waited and watched (literally – he looked at Adam quite a bit, more than before, probably more than was wise).

Which would be far, far easier to do without a certain feathered traitor.

Because as Ronan’s luck would have it, Chainsaw fucking loved Adam Parrish.

Right now, for instance, she was perched on Adam’s shoulder with a startling gentleness, one she didn’t even display for her own creator, if Ronan’s constantly scratched shoulders were anything to go by. Well. He supposed wearing tank tops didn’t help, but still. You could just see Chainsaw holding her body primly so she wouldn’t weigh down Adam too much. Damned ass-kissing bird.

Right now, she was staring adoringly at Adam as he tried to eat a truly pathetically thin peanut butter sandwich without jostling her too much. Ronan could tell because he was also staring from across the cramped St. Agnes attic (no, not adoringly, fuck you very much).

…Okay, maybe a little adoringly.

Chainsaw hopped down from Adam’s shoulder to land on his forearm. She cocked her head imploringly, black eyes fixed on the sandwich. “Kreker?” she asked shamelessly. Ronan could have smacked her - or himself. He hadn’t spent hours trying to teach her to speak just so she could try and steal Parrish’s sad excuse for a dinner.

“No, not a cracker,” Adam replied, seriously, as if he was holding a conversation with an actual person. He paused for a moment, as if he was looking for a term that a corvid could replicate more easily than peanut butter sandwich.

“Snack,” he landed on eventually, waving the sandwich a little as Chainsaw followed it avidly. “It’s a snack.”

Chainsaw flapped her wings once, then cocked her head to the opposite side. “Snack,” she barked.

Well, Ronan thought. I’ll be fucked.

“Clever girl!” Adam praised, kind of in the same tone he used whenever Gansey demonstrated that he’d retained a fact about car engines. He tore off a corner of his sandwich – with some difficulty, since he still had a very hefty raven pinning his arm down – and offered it to Chainsaw, who gobbled it up greedily.

“Hey, shitbird! That’s not yours. Leave Parrish’s sandwich alone,” Ronan called out across the room. Leave Parrish alone, he wanted to add. Stop acting like all you want is to be near him. This was a dangerous game to play. Adam knew Chainsaw was dreamt. He knew about how the night horrors, his deadlier-looking dream creatures, only ever wanted what Ronan wanted. He knew Ronan looked at him more than a friend should. He was observant, and he was smart. It was only a matter of time before he connected the dots. If he hasn’t already, Ronan thought with some unease, glaring at Chainsaw as he nervously bit on the leather bands at his wrist. Seriously, just stop.

Chainsaw blatantly ignored him.

“It’s alright,” Adam said, looking back at Chainsaw. Which meant he had been looking at Ronan just now. Possibly. Maybe. “I don’t mind,” he added, tearing off another piece of bread and feeding it to the raven. There was a small smile playing about his lips, amused and almost fond – like he was enjoying Chainsaw’s proximity and attention, even if it was coming at the expense of his food.

Chainsaw chirped happily – since when did ravens chirp, anyway?! – and flapped herself back up to Adam’s shoulder, hopping closer to his head this time. Most people would be a little nervous having a huge-ass bird with an extremely sharp beak that close to their face, but Adam only held himself still, waiting, his head tilted a little to the side. Chainsaw took that opportunity to nestle into the crook of his neck and puff up contentedly.

Oh my God, are you fucking kidding me, Ronan thought furiously. He thought he could feel a blush creeping up his own neck.

He wanted badly to call Chainsaw back – assuming she would even obey – but he couldn’t bring himself to do it when Adam looked so genuinely pleased, like any and all affectionate physical contact was surprising and delightful.

“Atom.”

There was a moment of silence in the room.

“Did she just say my name?”, Adam asked.

“Not sure,” Ronan lied, studiously staring at the raven  – glaring at the raven – and not Adam.

“Yeah, she did. She said ‘Adam’.”

Ronan made an ‘eh’ face. “I think it was more like ‘atom’.”

Adam shot him an unimpressed look. “I doubt your raven is interested in molecular science.” He carefully put down his sandwich and reached up to gently pet Chainsaw, using one long index finger to stroke down the soft feathers around her beak. “Even though she is very clever. Good girl!”

“Atom!” Chainsaw crowed again. The word wasn’t any clearer but the way she rubbed her head into Adam’s jaw made the meaning very apparent.

Adam looked at Ronan with a little triumphant smirk. Ronan rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, Parrish. Here, you little bastard. Let Parrish finish his food.”

Chainsaw flapped her wings in discontent. “Atom snack?” she asked balefully.

“No,” Ronan said firmly. “Enough ‘snack’ for you.���

Even as he was still speaking, Adam replied, to Chainsaw, “Yes, Adam is gonna eat a snack. Clever girl. Good bird. Are you gonna let me finish it?”

Chainsaw barked once at him, but not unkindly, before flying the short distance over to Ronan’s outstretched arm.

Ronan glared at her for a few moments, then turned his glare on Adam.

“You’re undermining my parenting,” he accused.

“Well she has to learn manners somewhere,” Adam replied around a mouthful of sandwich.

“Hilarious,” Ronan muttered, stroking Chainsaw’s head, absently tracing the same path Adam’s finger had. She tucked her head in contentedly, as if allowing him to pet her was a conciliatory gesture on her part. She was still staring at Adam as he wolfed down the sandwich.

Well, fuck. This was going to be a problem.

#trc #pynch #ronan lynch #adam parrish #chainsaw #my writing #answer #sonboyadam #fluff #mp #took me a while to write this but i loved it!!!! i love chainsaw #yes i used THAT poe reference and what of it

[booklover41802]

Could you do another one where Cardan forces Jude back to Elfhame? But this time it’s 5 years after her banishment and she‘a happily married with a child. And Cardan confronts her about this and it again leads to greater angst?

Angst is your request, angst is what I deliver :)

Thank you for the ask, love!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jude

At seven in the morning, all Jude wanted to do was snuggle into the sheets with her husband for an extra minute before the children woke up. However, her husband, Sam, was currently fast asleep, drool pooling out onto his pillow. She studied him, looking at his sleep mussed russet hair, and dark brown skin. He was perfect, save the drool dripping out of his mouth. With one finger Jude gently reached out to wipe it away, accidentally sticking her finger in his mouth as he shifted in his sleep. Sam’s chocolate brown eyes opened sleepily, amused at the predicament. “This wasn’t how I thought I’d start my morning, but I’m not complaining,” he murmured, proceeding to flick his tongue against her skin. Bastard. She hissed, quickly pulling her finger out before he got any more ideas. “There was drool seeping out of your mouth! I only intended to wipe it away as a courtesy gesture!” Huffing to herself, she promptly flipped over to the other side of the bed. Behind her she heard Sam chuckle, and then the sound of the mattress squeaking as he moved closer to her. His arms wrapped around her middle, pulling her close to him. Though they were both clothed, the embrace felt very intimate as he rested his chin on her head. “Mi corazón, have I told you lately how much I love you?” A grin slowly began to spread across Jude’s face. “And how much you need to shower?” And just like that, she scowled. As if knowing how her facial expression changed, his hands came up to run down her shoulders, lightly, sending pinpricks of ecstasy flowing through her. The gentle contact was her favorite part of the morning, when it was just Sam and Jude, and no children. “I jest, I jest! You smell heavenly.” Emphasizing his point, he inhaled near her hairline. “Just like wildflowers and sunshine.” His hands stopped near her elbows, drawing small circles round and round. Closing her eyes, she focused solely on Sam, wanting to enjoy every moment. “The sun doesn’t have a smell.” “Untrue, you are what I imagine the sun smells like. You are the center of my world. And I suppose it doesn’t hurt that you’re hot enough to be the sun.” Jude groaned and shoved herself out of his arms, glaring down at him. “That was the worst pick-up line I have ever heard.” “I don’t need to pick you up, you’re already mine.” He blew her a kiss. Rolling her eyes, Jude opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the sound of running footsteps outside of the bedroom. The door slowly opened up, revealing Jude’s three children, still in their night clothes, with wide eyes. Her eldest, Ronan, determined himself the leader to speak up. The twins, Sofia and Ava, huddled behind their elder brother, seemingly terrified of something. Before Ronan responded, Jude got a terrible feeling in her chest. A feeling that her past was coming back to haunt her. And that history was about to repeat itself. “Darlings, why do you look like deer caught in the headlights?” Her husband asked, now sitting up, throwing his legs over the side to go to their children. He was, thankfully, wearing pants. Jude was frozen in place, her mind racing as to how he had found them. How had he discovered where she lived? Vivi didn’t even know. “A strange man is at the door,” Ronan said in a hushed tone. It was Cardan. She knew it. It was too early for this shit. She uttered a string of curse words not meant for young ears.

Cardan

For the first time in five years, Cardan was about to see his wife. He nervously checked his reflection in the window, making sure his hair was perfect. This day would be perfect. Jude would return to Elfhame with him, and then they could rule together, as High King and Queen. Without his Jude, he was unbelievably lost. He couldn’t handle the pressures of court if she was not by his side. He had even brought a crown for her, as an apology. Cardan hoped she still loved him, otherwise this was about to be very awkward. But he couldn’t stop thinking about the little boy who had answered the door. The boy resembled him, and around five years old. Was the boy… no that was impossible. It was only one time. It didn’t happen that fast. At least, that’s what he’d been told Cardan was spared from his thoughts as the front door opened, and Jude’s stormy face greeted him. She looked beautiful with her rumpled blouse, hastily thrown on bottoms and sleep mussed hair, exactly like the sun. Terrible and enthralling all at once, and if you got too close, you’d get burned. “What are you doing here, Cardan.” Behind her, three children gathered around her legs, and farther back in the room, he saw a man with a worried expression on his bland human face. “To see you, what other reason would I have for visiting the mortal lands.” There was a tug on the hem of his tunic. He looked down to see the boy looking up at him with wide, black eyes. His eyes. “Mister, are you a prince? I’ve read all about them in books and you have a crown.” Cardan smiled indulgently at the child. “Better than a Prince. I’m a King. Would you like to try my crown on?” “Yes!” “No, you will do no such thing, Ronan,” Jude snapped, pushing the kid behind her. As soon as the child’s name slipped out of Jude’s mouth, horror entered her expression. As if she didn’t want him to know. As if it was meant to be a secret. Taking a step closer, so they were mere inches apart, Cardan cocked his head, peering into Jude’s brown eyes, noticing how much older and wiser they seemed. And happier. “May I come in?” “Can he, mommy? Please?” Ronan begged behind them. Jude stared him straight in the face, unwilling to back down. It was just one of the many things he loved about her. “If I say I’m sorry, will you let me cross the threshold?” All emotion was wiped clean from her face at his words. “You destroyed my life, and you think saying sorry will fix it?” She breathed under her breath, so quiet he had to strain his ears, “No. You may not.” Her expression turned fierce, a mother bear protecting what she loved from an intruder. Him. The man he had seen in the shadows earlier now stepped forwards, placing a hand on Jude’s shoulder. “Leave my wife alone, haven’t you done enough damage to her?” Wife. His wife. This was about to get interesting. Cardan flicked his gaze to Jude, noticing how she shut her eyes at her husband’s words. “Your wife? My, my, Jude, you’ve certainly been busy. And here I thought you already exchanged vows.” “Cardan, please-” “I thought you loved me.” There was silence now, from both of them. Jude merely opened the door wider, a defeated slump to her shoulders. The boy, Ronan, cheered when Cardan stepped over the threshold. “Jude, I don’t like this,” her husband said, in an annoyingly worried tone. Cardan smirked at the man, the man who dared called Jude his wife. “You don’t have to. You’ll be out of the picture soon enough.” Cardan looked around the home, noting the family portraits, the wedding photos, the warmth radiating out of the walls. It felt like a place where family didn’t stab each other in the back at the first opportunity. Literally. The man stepped in front of Jude, pushing her behind him, as though she needed protection. If anything, he was the one who needed protection. He was willing to bet the man didn’t know the half of Jude’s past. The bloodthirsty Queen who manipulated every situation to her advantage to gain more power, her ambitions flying higher with each passing day. “If you harm Jude, or my children, you will regret ever coming here.” His children, so there was no way that the boy was his. Cardan was oddly disappointed. “I’m leaving with Jude or I’m not leaving at all.” He turned his head towards his Jude. “Darling, won’t you come home with me?” He stretched out a hand to the woman who held the shambles of his heart. Jude crossed her arms. “I cannot. I’m banished, or have you forgotten that as you conveniently failed to remember how deeply you betrayed me at the first opportunity?” Here came the fun part, where he revealed everything in front of Jude’s husband. His lips stretched wide, teeth gleaming in the low lighting. “You seem to have forgotten the vows we exchanged, and how we consummated it that night.” Her husband looked on stonily. Cardan examined his nails. “Marriage to a King is no small thing, in fact, there’s a little thing that allows you to be elevated. You, my dearest Jude, are the Queen. Your bag of tricks finally ran out and I picked up the remnants. I learned from you, you see. You only need to be pardoned by the crown. With your marriage to me, you are Queen.” “If you’re a Queen, mommy, does that mean I’m a prince?” Ronan excitedly asked from his place beside Jude. Jude looked at Cardan with no emotion, stroking the top of her son’s head. “Yes, I suppose it does. Having a King and Queen for parents often does that.” “Yes! I can’t wait to tell the kids at school!” Cardan felt the blood drain from his face as his suspicions were confirmed. “Are-are you saying what I think you’re saying?” The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. The kids seemed oblivious to all. “Ronan is your son. Ava and Sofia are not.” “Jude, is it wise to tell him that? Who knows what he’ll do with that information.” “Sam-” Jude started. “What is one child to me? I care nothing for him, only my Jude.” Sam snarled, getting right up in Cardan’s face. “Jude isn’t yours. She never was, and never will be. The sooner you understand that, the sooner you can leave my family alone.” The fool had no idea to whom he was speaking. He wondered just how much she had revealed to him. Surely she hadn’t told him everything. Jude didn’t let people in like that. Once she had let him in, and he had used the opportunity to show her they were evenly matched, mind-mind. Jude’s hand snaked around Sam’s arm, drawing him away from Cardan. “Sam, can you give us a moment alone, please.” Her husband looked into Jude’s face and found her pleading eyes looking back at him. He loosed a breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “This wasn’t what I thought marriage would be like. Sofia, Ava, Ronan, come with me for a moment.” He left the room with the kids in tow and shut the door to a bedroom. Now it was just him and Jude. Endless words rose up between them, as though they were two figures on a broken bridge with Cardan trying to fix it, while Jude laughed at him. “Do you love him?” Silence greeted him. Only the children’s giggles from behind the door alerted Cardan that he was, not, in fact, in a graveyard. The silence was as haunting as a ghost’s final resting place. The way she stared at him, as if she didn’t know him, hurt Cardan more than he thought it would. Jealousy was a festering wound, the more you picked at it, the more it bled. “Yes, very much. While I’ve been away from Faerie, I never realized how different it was here. It was a shock to find that I quite liked the Mortal Lands and found no sorrow that I was to stay here. At first it seemed like a punishment, but now it has been a blessing.” Jude took on a love-struck expression that made Cardan sick to his stomach. “Did you ever love me?” He asked softly under his breath, daring to lightly run his fingers down her face. Her eyelids fluttered in response to his touch. Angling his head to study her, he wondered at how easily she could turn her emotions on and off like a lightswitch. “Love is a dangerous word.” Jude reached up and clutched his hand. At first, endearing, but as her grip began to tighten, Cardan knew he was about to see the wrath of Jude Durate. She opened her eyes, where he met only a razor sharp focus. “If I told you I only used you for power, what would you say? If I told you I loved you so much that I feared my heart would burst, what would you say?” His fingers strained to escape her iron-clad grip. Any harder and she would break his bones. “Does it matter what I felt? You certainly didn’t seem to take that into consideration when you humiliated me in front of the Court. What difference did it make to you, when you are the High King, and no one matters but you. Let me tell you this, I did love you. Once.” His fingers snapped. A broken cry escaped his lips, though she didn’t seem to hear it, not as she was lost in her passionate speech. As she raised up on her toes to whisper in his ear, Cardan wondered how he ever thought he could match her. “It was a mistake. You were my biggest mistake.” She released his hand and stepped back, arms crossed. Cardan staggered back, clutching his broken hand to his chest. “I still love you. All the stars have winked out in your absence, I beg you to return so that the shadows may disperse. You are the only source of light in my life. Please, return with me.” There was no emotion on her face, wiped clean like a blank canvas. “You have no one to blame but yourself.” The door cracked open and the twins bolted out, laughing as they proudly carried an object in their hands, staggering with the weight. It looked like… a sword. And not just any sword, Nightfell. Jude’s choice of weapon. Sam hurriedly dashed out behind them with a panicked expression on his face. “Ava! Sofia! What have I told you about playing with weapons? They’re too dangerous for young hands.” He plucked it from their hands, sighing as he went. As if realizing he had an audience, he looked up at the two of them, in close proximity, and he just looked… tired. Placing the sword out of reach from the twins, he slowly bent his head and swallowed. “Sam,” Jude whispered. Sam raised his head up and looked at Jude with a sad smile. “If you go with him, I understand why you would want to. He’s a Faerie in a magical land from fairytales, the place where you grew up. If you wish to go, I won’t stop you. After all, what can I offer you other than my heart? Do you not wish to be waited on hand and foot at a castle, versus working yourself to the bone in our small home?” Jude’s eyes began to water, and forgetting as though Cardan was even there, she rushed into Sam’s arms, burying herself against his chest. His arms wrapped tightly around her, his head resting on the top of her hair. “All I ever wanted was you. I love you. I’m not ever leaving, not for the memory of the childhood that scarred me in more ways than one.” She pulled back to look into his eyes. Cardan’s jealous heart rose up into his throat, red entering his vision. He was about to do something very stupid. “You are my home, no matter where we go. It is not Faerie, not anymore.” Cardan’s uninjured hand began to creep towards his jacket, where he stored a hidden dagger. A dagger that was sharp enough to pierce a heart. He’d been training with the Court of Shadows these past few years, and his aim was impeccable. So as the two lovers held each other in their arms, Cardan flung the knife as fast and as hard as he could for Sam’s chest. If he was gone, Jude would have no choice but to return with him. But Jude saw the knife coming. She flung herself in the path of the dagger, where it landed true, into her heart. Cardan’s world narrowed to the blood pouring out of her chest, staining the white blouse she had donned. Distantly he walked over to her in a trance, not seeing how her husband’s face went white with anger, nor the children screaming, drenched in their mother’s blood as they rushed around her. Sam gripped Cardan’s lapels with his hand, yelling in his face. Cardan didn’t hear him, his focus was on his darling Jude, bleeding out onto the floor. Cardan did the thing that was natural for him. He pulled another knife out and stabbed the man in the small of his back. If he was going to destroy himself, the other man was going with him. Sam slumped to the floor at Jude’s feet, his eyes glassy, unseeing. Already his hair was soaking up the blood pooling out from Jude. The children were crying, begging their father to wake up. Cardan had broken this family. He knelt next to Jude and held her icy-cold palm in his. Miraculously, she was still alive. “I’m so sorry. I-I didn’t mean- this wasn’t supposed to happen. We were going to be happy together. You and me, just like it’s always been. That’s all I wanted,” Cardan’s voice broke, tears now pouring out in great rivulets down his skin. With great difficulty, Jude opened her mouth. “You were never the villain in my story, Cardan. You have always held goodness in your heart. You must go on, as it seems that my tale has come to an end.” She stretched up her blood-stricken hand to his hair. “When we were younger, I fell in love with the boy who showed kindness in the smallest of ways. Though you say your heart is but embers, don’t let the light go out.” Her children were still crowded around their father, tears pouring down their little faces. “ All I ask is that you don’t bury me in Faerie. I want to be laid to rest next to my parents. And please, take care of my children. Don’t give them the childhood I had. Ronan is my legacy, as he is yours, and the heir to the Greenbriar throne.” Jude coughed, specks of red flying out. “Make sure they don’t forget me.” With trembling hands, Cardan moved his fingers to her face and cupped her cheek. “You’re not going to die. I-I can save you! Hold on!” He shoved every healing spell he knew into her chest, light wildly flaring out of his touch, not noticing how she had gone still, or the garden that had erupted under his touch, flowers of every kind sprouting up from the wood flooring. Before long, the house was overtaken by greenery and Jude’s final resting place was a garden of Cardan’s own creation. “Just… one… more. Stay with me!” Finally he looked at her, and saw the unnatural stillness of death. She was gone. His light died, as the darkness crept in once more. Jude Durate, High Queen of Elfhame, Queen of his heart, was dead. His darling Jude was gone, and it was his fault. He glanced over at her children who were looking at him with heartbroken expressions, like lost little lambs in a den of wolves. “Sorry doesn’t really help here, does it.” Cardan didn’t expect them to answer him, and they didn’t. “Come with me, and I will show you a place full of magic, where fairytales come to life. You can wear the finest clothing available, and sit on a throne. You will be elevated to royalty.” He offered them a hand, a hand still caked in their mother’s blood. Cautiously, but unsure of any other lifeline, and drawn in by his words, they took his hand. Biting back the terror and fear of what his life now meant, he brought Jude’s lifeless body with. Despite her words, Jude was to be buried at the Greenbriar mausoleum, where all the Queens before her dwelled. Against her final wishes perhaps, but he did not wish for her to be so far away. One final, selfish desire. Cardan brought the children to Jude’s old rooms at the palace, where he called for Tatterfell, who dressed and bathed the children. She promised to look after them while he went to give Jude a proper burial. Someone had cleaned her up, so that blood did not cake her skin, her clothing no longer torn. She was a Queen he could not reach, as she was lost to the void of the Afterlife, a star in the sky winking down at him. He placed her sword in her hands and as she was entombed, Cardan vowed to himself he would make Faerie a better place in Jude’s memory. From that day forward, it was decreed a crime against the crown to abuse mortals and glamour them against their will. Any found guilty immediately faced Cardan, where they met no mercy. The offenders were quickly put to death. No mortal would ever suffer the fate of Jude again. Every Sunday of the month, Cardan visited Jude, and told her everything she had missed. Every detail, no matter how small, echoed in the walls of the mausoleum. And as the years passed by, Cardan made sure Ronan, Sofia, and Ava were given the best treatment and education the crown could offer. He raised them as his own children, but never kept their past a secret. They knew Cardan had killed their parents. Sofia and Ava were willing to forgive Cardan as they got older, as they were much too young to fully remember. But Ronan was always distant. Some days he was warm and friendly towards him, others, an impassive stone. Cardan didn’t blame him. Cardan hated himself more than ever, and slowly let the grief devour him. He even refused to let his hand fully heal, as a reminder of the cost of jealousy. Though he was a just ruler to his subjects, he never let himself forget what he had done. He made sure Jude was never forgotten. Statues were erected in her honor, her would-be crown seated on the throne next to his, as a reminder that the Mortal Queen still lived. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ronan

Fifteen years after Jude’s death, his father sat in his room, looking into the flames of the fireplace with a blank expression. Ronan crouched in front of him, searching for the father who had raised him and given him a childhood away from the corruption of Court. But no matter how many times Ronan said his name, or pleaded with him, he would not rise. Under his breath he kept repeating, “Forgive me, my Darling Jude. Forgive me. I cannot forgive myself.” Again and again and again until his voice grew hoarse, but even then, he continued the mantra without pause, not even for food or water. Day by day he wasted away until he was a shell of who he used to be. He ignored all signs of life, until the last day, when four days had passed, and his father moved his gaze to Ronan. “You have her smile, and her kindness. I’m thankful I got to see them again.” Then promptly slumped in the chair, eyes looking forever towards the fire, begging for forgiveness. Suddenly Ronan was five years old again, and screaming for Sam and his mother to wake up. He saw the blood coating the walls of their small home, and the garden that had sprouted as Cardan attempted to save his mother. But here he was, aged twenty, and an orphan once again. Grief and guilt had killed as surely as a blade. Ronan was immediately declared the High King and took up his father’s mantle and legacy. He would never forget the man who read him stories long past his bedtime, nor the woman who taught him to never give up. His parents, the High King and Queen, left him a clear road to follow, and he took it, in their honor. Neither would ever be forgotten to the rot of time, he would make sure of it.

Tags: @illyrian-bookworm, @highladyofstoriesandmusic, @webcraft4eveh, @captainthefangirlofhp

#ask #thank you for the ask! #booklover41802 answer #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #tcp #twk #qon #the cruel prince #the wicked king #queen of nothing #holly black #my writing

[sargentr]

crisp trepidation

wrote this thinking of the song fine line by harry styles.

read on AO3

"Parrish." the voice said, "Parrish. Wake up."

Adam jolted awake by two hands who shook him slightly. Around him he could only see the dark, pitch black sky, shimmering with stars and constellations that came with the Virginian night, miles away from the cities. He noticed then he was still in a car, seat let back completely and a leather jacket covering his bare arms. He didn’t turn to look at the person who called him; he thought about closing his eyes, hoping what had just happened was all a nightmare.

Adam did not move. Instead, he kept looking at the stars. Altair, Deneb, Vega, Arcturus. He could name half of the sky.

The silence lingered, almost like it made noise to him. "Adam." The voice was softer. Adam turned his head ever so slightly to look up at Ronan Lynch, peering down into the open driver’s door. Blood and black stains still covered his skillfully sketched face, and traced dots and lines down his dark clothes. Like this, Adam could only see his eyes. "Come on." said Ronan, quietly, unlike himself, or, like entirely himself around people he trusted, "You can't sleep in the car." Adam sat up, and just then realized he wasn't at the parking lot of St. Agnes like he was expecting to be. No, Adam found himself staring at a family house, posted in the middle of nowhere, with barns at its outskirts. He sighed, visibly. He wanted to ask Ronan why he had brought him here, ask why he would come back here right after his mother had just passed. Ronan Lynch, he thought, full of surprises. Ronan tapped a finger once on top of the car, then lifted his posture to start walking inside, irritated to a bare minimum because Adam was clearly still out of it, "You staying there, shithead?" and so Adam got out of the car, hesitating. His limbs felt sore, and his eyes felt heavy, but sleep seemed like a million years away from catching up to him.

The Barns, just like Ronan, was not a place to play with. He didn't know what that meant exactly. He didn’t like the feeling it gave him; of belonging, trusting. Those concepts were foreign to him. He was his own home. His body, his mind, his relationships. Home wasn’t a place to Adam, because he had never had a physical home. He didn’t know how it felt.

He had a hunch it felt like this. They marched up the porch in unity. God, that porch. Just to think that merely days before that he was kissing Ronan Lynch to death, a metaphor he then thought was harmless. Now, that moment seemed as distant to Adam as being a child. It had felt like peace in his troubled routine, to be a normal teenager for a night; being able to kiss the boy he liked, to cuddle on the couch and trace fingers across his skin and exchange soft words in Latin until life caught up to Adam like it always it. He should have known it was too good to be true. Too good to last. A wind had blown by, he remembered. Adam had shivered against Ronan's pressed up body as they kissed. A small frown formed on Ronan's face when they parted, and Adam almost lifted his hand to touch were his eyebrows met in worry that he might be cold. He pulled Adam to him even more that he already was, and slipped his arms around his hips, touching the side of their faces together. That was when Ronan's hands traveled upwards, and caressed his arms in hopes of warming him. Adam pressed the side of his face to his collarbone, hands drawn up to their close chests, and sighed. "We should head inside." he had said against Ronan's skin.

He couldn't describe it, and that panicked him. Not knowing what it meant to be that warm, numb and to lose the use of his body completely when his fingers and Ronan's were tangled, being pulled to the couch, and before he could even process what had just happened, Ronan's lips were on his already.

He remembers smiling against them, not even trying to contain it. Happiness felt like a prize Adam wouldn't have expected to receive, and yet this made Adam realize how incredibly euphoric he had been in that moment. And that had been their second kiss. Now, a thing like that seemed impossible. They stepped inside, and just then it hit Adam, "Where's Orphan Girl?"

Adam's voice sounded surreal. It was too quiet, making his already cracked voice sound unbearably unfamiliar. Ronan was by the kitchen counter, walking towards the sink before he opened the tap, "Upstairs already." he said, "You to sleep for another ten minutes in the car. So I let her into Matthew’s room."

He put a hand on the wooden island, sitting down on one of those rich people high chairs, "Why didn’t you just wake me?"

Ronan closed the tap and reached for a piece cloth, turning so he could lean on the counter. He crossed his legs, shrugging.

Adam knew Ronan was either arranging for him to sleep somewhere, or just needed some time to think. Ronan was not good with words; Adam didn’t needed to remind himself of that detail. Adam looked at his nails, bloody, probably from Ronan. He felt physically so incapable of moving he would gladly sleep on that kitchen island and only wake up by sunrise. His eyebrows met, eyes still fixed down, "Can I, uh, shower?" Ronan let out a laugh. Adam looked up, "Knock yourself out." he said, almost like Adam was supposed to, even before he asked, "You can use Declan's." They didn't say anything else. ***

Adam debated wether he should just lay down and sleep or walk downstairs to talk to Ronan.

He exited Declan's bathroom, towel hanging from his hips and paced to the bed. Adam sat down thinking about how his best friend had died and come back, merely hours ago; he didn't know what to think right then. Gansey, he thought, I should be with Gansey. Don't cry, he told himself. Quickly, Adam put on the clothes he had been wearing before; blood-stained shirts and dirty jeans were not exactly new to him. He walked outside, and when he was about to turn the corner and trot down the stairs, he saw Ronan walking up, and stopped. "Where do you think you're going, Parrish?" Ronan frowned a bit, crossing his arms over his chest. Adam said, "I was going to look for you.” Ronan frowned, looking at Adam's body, trailing up and down, "Why are you still in those filthy fucking clothes?" Adam lifted his eyebrows, thinking, "Well, I didn't exactly have time to pack--"

"Wait here." said Ronan, and before Adam could protest, he had sprung past him and into his own room. A moment later, Ronan came back with a pair of grey sweatpants and a white tee.

He took Adam’s hands from his sides and placed them on his palm, "I forgot to put these in Declan's room." Adam inhaled. Something inside him was poking his stomach. He said nothing, he just stared at clothes.

It wasn't the fact that Ronan had thought of something sweet to do --Ronan was, and not surprisingly, someone who cared about others-- it was the thought that Ronan had done it for him. Something as simple and intimate as letting Adam borrow his clothes.

Adam forgot, just for a fraction of a second, what they had just gone through. Instead, he felt giddy with surprise and affection that Ronan was giving him his clothes to wear. He was also dumbfounded to be so emotional over old sweatpants and a plain white shirt. Ronan noticed. Of course he noticed, "Fine. You can sleep in dirt, for all I care." "Wait." Ronan was going to take back the items of clothing before Adam pressed them to his chest, "Sorry. I’m tired, I can't function properly." Ronan's jaw clenched, "Go to sleep, Parrish."

Adam barely nodded, and when Ronan turned to walk back to his room, a wave of panic struck through Adam's body, "Ronan?"

He stopped and looked back. Adam knew Ronan hadn't brought him to the Barns so he could sleep in Declan's room and leave early to work, but he also didn't know what he wanted that exact moment. Kiss me, he thought, do something. In all honesty, Adam felt drained of whatever love he had left in him. It wasn’t fuel to simply run out, he knew that, but he felt empty. Deprived. Lost. Shaken. And God, he just wanted affection, for once in his goddamned life. He inhaled, and realized his eyes were starting to water. He gazed down, trying to control it, but Ronan had already walked to him. He wiped his tears; Ronan was too close, and still did nothing.

Adam let out a watery, breathless short laugh, peeking a look at Ronan's hesitant state. He had never seen Adam cry. He hadn’t ever had to deal with it, so Adam spared him, “You don't have to ask my permission to touch me, you know that, right?"

Ronan's expression changed, defensive, "I know that, asshole." There he is, Adam thought. He nodded, trying to contain a small smile of amusement at Ronan having absolutely no clue on what to do. Ronan just then moved huffed a laugh as well, and left almost no space between him and Adam. And just like that, they weren’t smiling anymore.

Adam didn't dare break eye contact. He hadn't realized being this up close to Ronan would leave him suddenly breathless, lips parted, waiting. Ronan touched the side of his face, fingers grazing his jaw ever so lightly Adam couldn't stop it when his breath hitched at it. His thumb found a still wet spot on Adam's cheekbone and wiped it, before leaning down and touching his lips to Adam's.

It wasn't like their other ones. No, this one was lighter, softer, something Adam was waiting for since their first hurried kiss; Ronan’s unmasked gentleness. His hands were placed involuntarily on Ronan's sides, bringing them closer and deepening the kiss just merely.

Ronan shivered under his touch. It was something Adam found quite exquisite, his effect over him. Ronan’s body was shaking under his hands, making something hot speed through Adam's whole body. Ronan stopped kissing him for a second, and Adam thought he might've done something physically that implied the feeling. "What?" asked Adam, voice rushed, light and sweet. Adam's eyes seemed glued to Ronan's blue ones, "Nothing." he whispered, a smile almost slipping. He exhaled, and let his hands slowly travel down Adam's arms until he had reached his hand, taking them in his own. "C'mon, loser." Adam knew Ronan was trying his hardest to hide a smile. Ronan led them into his room, to his bed, and sat down. Adam stood between his legs, and rested his hands on Ronan's neck, looking down at him. And just like that, it hit him. As Adam's hands rested on Ronan's neck, just above his collarbone, he could feel how swollen it was, how the colors around his fingers didn't match Ronan's skin. Adam dropped his hands almost immediately, and avoided Ronan's eyes, his own glued to the monstrosity he knew was his doing.

"Hey." he said softly, taking one of Adam's hand in his own, trying to stop him from stepping away, "Adam?"

When he looked up to meet Ronan's eyes, he knew his own were displaying how horrified, petrified, he actually was. Ronan, though, only expressed worry. He inhaled, almost nervously, "Adam, no." "I did this-" "You didn't." cut Ronan, taking his other hand and guiding Adam a few steps forward, "You'd never hurt me." Adam shook his head, eyes still fixed at how bad Ronan's neck actually looked and thinking to himself how he did not notice that before, "Ronan, I-" "Hey." he said again, soft as ever, and if Adam wasn't melted by fear that exact moment, he'd be starstruck by it, "It's okay." Ronan lifted both of his hands, and Adam knew where they were going, "Adam. Look at me." He did. Ronan's eyes were as trustworthy as Adam had been to Cabeswater. Slowly, Ronan touched Adam's fingers to his bruised neck. He flinched, "Ronan." his voice broke visibly, "S-stop."

"It's okay." he gave Adam's fingers a light squeeze before setting them. Adam's breath hitched, "It's you. It's okay."

It took him a whole minute to do anything other than just lay them there. After that, one of them slipped to the back of Ronan's neck, and the other to his jaw, "I'm sorry." he whispered. He knew Ronan was looking at him, appreciating whatever he saw in Adam that made him worthy of appreciating. Adam kept his eyes fixed on his hands caressing his jaw, "Why didn't you stop me?" "It wasn't an option." he said, not hesitating, “A guy finally kissed me back, Parrish. If he wants to choke me then that’s fucking fine.”

Adam let out an un-calculated scoff. He silently thanked Ronan for trying to lighten the mood, “Asshole.”

Ronan smirked, "If the situation were to be inverted, you'd do the same.” Adam frowned at that, "God, no." he shook his head, playfully, "You'd kill me twice as fast. Have you seen your size compared to mine?" Ronan's tipped his head back to look up better at Adam when he took a step closer. Ronan face was a centimeter away from his chest now. He smiled up at him, playfully, “You calling me fat, Parrish?" He smiled back. At that, Ronan placed his hands on the small of Adam's back. Adam got the idea and straddled Ronan, unhurried and calmly, letting them both appreciate new grounds. “This is okay.” he said, when they touched their foreheads together, “Right?” Ronan had closed his eyes. He gave Adam’s the softest smile, “Yeah. It’s okay.” Adam kissed him. It started off the same as the last one, though Adam knew it was going to end completely different. Kissing Ronan Lynch was different from making a bargain with Cabeswater, or doing something as crazy as finding a dead Welsh king. No, kissing Ronan Lynch felt like he was playing a game of chess, in which there were no winners, and the only way out was to break the pieces. Adam did not ever want to commit such a crime. They kissed, and kissed and kissed. This or that, Ronan made it feel like it was the first time he'd ever done it. This once, Ronan starting kissing the outline of his lips, then his cheeks, and down his neck, and Adam couldn't help but feel so incredibly comfortable he slowly made Ronan trail back before he ground his hips down. Ronan displayed a type of surprise, though he was violently trying to fight against it. Adam kissed him again, and felt how breathless he already was, "Is this okay too?” Their noses were still touching, too close. Ronan held Adam's waist close, "God." he breathed, "Yeah, asshole. You don’t have to ask every time."

Adam didn't know what he was expecting, or what he wanted for that matter. All he knew was that kissing, straddling and grounding into Ronan like he was that instant felt too good to be true.

It was a medium to calm rhythm. Both of them were exhausted, drained, incapable of wanting more than just each others presence. After what felt like an eternity of panting, of feeling each other fully and completely aroused, pressing together and hearing Ronan’s muffled groans on his neck, both of them came. Clothed, warm, entwined.

They were breathless, panting slightly, mouths touching but not kissing. Adam laughed, just merely, contented and sated. Ronan placed a kiss to his cheek, and pulled him to lay down. He had a feeling they were going to ignore the mess in their boxers, and found he didn’t really care.

Now, sleep was a second away from catching up to him. They faced each other, knees and noses touching, Ronan’s hand traveling up and down his back. He was already trailing away when Ronan's deep voice broke silence, "I'm not sleeping." he said.

Adam wanted to protest, he really wanted to, but he knew how many times Ronan wanted to do that as well when Adam worked and studied himself to death, and still did not dare say a word. Adam had warned him too many times those were not subjects his friends had sayings in, and Ronan would avoid a fight with Adam any day of the week.

"Okay." he whispered back, touching the side of his face just once before letting his hand drop between them, "Wake me up if you need anything." Ronan nodded, patiently. When he realized Ronan wasn't going to say anything else, he exhaled before turning his back to him and turning off the lamps.

Before sleep took him, Adam had the faintest feeling that they were going to be all right.

#adam parrish #ronan lynch #pynch #pynch fanfiction #pynch fanfic #pynch fic rec #pynch fic #the raven cycle #TRC #call down the hawk #cdth #mlm #adam and ronan #idk running out of tags

[archadianskies]

Whumptober Day 3

Forced to their Knees + Held at Gunpoint

Whumptober Masterlist | 03/31 of RK900 short stories ↳ on Ao3

Tags: Robbery × Mugging × Stargazing × Pining × Mutual Pining × Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human) × Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Siblings  × First Kiss × Gun Violence × Gunshot wounds

It is not often he accepts social invitations, but Simon has requested his company and there is very little he will not do for Simon. The Bell Isle Conservatory has a new Planetarium on the newly expanded land, adding yet another educational destination for school-aged children as well as internship opportunities for new graduates.

“Thanks for coming out with me.” Simon’s smile is slightly self-conscious, and Ronan shakes his head.

“Not at all, Simon. I am glad to be spending time with you.” He does not miss the faint lilac tinge across the bridge of his nose and the tops of his cheeks. “Our duties keep us increasingly busy, so it is a welcome reprieve.”

The PL600 ducks his head shyly, looping an arm through the crook of his arm as they make their way through the winding gardens passed the conservatory, towards the planetarium at a leisurely pace. It is a crisp Friday evening, early enough in Spring it is still on the shaper side. The building is open until late to accommodate those wishing to attend after usual business hours, for which Ronan is grateful.

“I accompanied the class of one of the girls I used to look after,” Simon begins and Ronan nods to encourage him. “The parent who was meant to be chaperone fell ill and with all the other parents working, she suggested I come along instead. Perhaps one of the only times in my life being a PL600 proved advantageous.” His smile is bittersweet, and Ronan does not like it. “Anyway I loved it. I had such a good time, perhaps even more than she did. I’m not-” he presses his lips in a hard line, and Ronan stops walking to give him a moment to compose himself. “Domestic ocular units are not anything special. We only have rudimentary scanning capabilities, and our eyesight is really just replicating human 20/20 vision.” Simon rubs his own upper arms, seemingly curling in on himself. “He- Markus once remarked how bright Venus looked one night. To me it just looked slightly brighter than a star but… He can see it, the night sky without the light pollution. He can filter it out somehow, something about specialised RK ocular units. I have to go to a planetarium to see such things.”

“No.” Ronan shakes his head. “You do not.” Looking around them, he finds a park bench not too far away, and guides Simon to sit beside him. “Look up, right there.” He points upward, before letting the skin recede from his hand and very gently resting it atop Simon’s. He feels Simon accept the connection, turning his hand palm side up so he can tangle their fingers together. Ronan looks up, adjusting his vision to filter out Detroit’s heavy light pollution. It takes a moment, but soon the Milky Way is stretched out above them and Simon gasps, mouth open in wonder as he sees through Ronan’s eyes. Simon turns his head this way and that, marvelling at the glittering lights splashed out like swathes of jewels twinkling in the inky sky.

He’s gripping Ronan’s hand tightly, and he wishes they could stay like this forever. He wishes his entire world could be reduced to this moment, right here on a bench on a chilly Friday evening, holding Simon’s hand while Simon looks up at the galaxy in childlike wonder. He wishes he could hold Simon’s hand outside of this situation too. That would certainly be nice.

“We can.” Simon whispers, and Ronan turns to blink at him in surprise.

“Pardon?”

“Hold hands.” He is blushing and smiling at the same time and Ronan belatedly realises they are still connected, and Simon has been privy to all those thoughts.

“Oh.” He says, because that is all he can manage right this moment because he has never seen Simon blush and smile at the same time and he thinks it might be the loveliest sight he has ever seen, Milky Way be damned.

“No, shh!” Simon laughs, clapping his hand over Ronan’s mouth even though he had not spoken those words aloud. “Stop! I can’t bear it!” He is giggling and Ronan thinks very hard that it is a lovely sound and Simon buries his face in his shoulder to hide his embarrassment. They are still holding hands, though, and Simon seems as equally reluctant to let go as he. Ronan brings their twined hands to his lips, and presses a kiss atop Simon’s fingers. 

“Shall we head inside? The show is due to start in fifteen minutes.” Ronan suggests.

“Are you sure it won’t bore you? You can see our galaxy splashed out above us, I'm not sure how much fun it’ll be for you.” Simon frowns.

“I will enjoy it because I will be spending time with you.” He says sincerely, and there is that lovely lilac tinge again blooming on his cheeks and yes, even the tips of his ears. 

“And then you can choose where we go next time.” Simon declares as they get back on their feet, Ronan closing the connection but still holding his hand. Next time, Simon says, next time, and though the night is far from over he is already looking forward to that too.

 *~*

As they resume their leisurely walk towards the planetarium, Ronan’s proximity sensors come alive, filling his screen with red warnings. He manages to jab his elbow into the throat of the closest assailant and break the left kneecap of another, but he freezes at the click of a gun and Simon’s startled yelp.

“Don’t. Move.” Human, but using a vocal modulator to prevent him running a voice sample through their database. Clever. “On your knees.” The man, guessing by his strength and build, presses the barrel of his gun harder against Simon’s LED, the PL600 wincing. Ronan slowly gets to his knees. “You’re one of ‘em fancy ones aren’t you? Yeah I seen you online.” The other two assailants slowly get back upright, though their injuries prevent them from holding their guns steady. “It’s our lucky night. We thought we’d find a couple of AP700s but instead we have the Terminator himself.”

“And completely at our mercy.” The one with the shattered kneecap sneers. “Eyes. Give us your eyes.”

“They’re worth a fucking fortune.” One of them laughs, making an impatient beckoning gesture with his hand. “Come on, out with them or the blondie gets it. We’ll take his eyes too and then go on our merry way. No one needs to get hurt.”

“I’m sorry!” Simon blurts, and it aches for him to see Simon like this- at someone’s complete mercy and still apologising for things out of his control. “If you hadn’t-”

“It does not matter.” He shakes his head, before addressing the man holding the gun to his head. “Let him go and I will give you what you want.”

“Give us what we want, and we don’t put a bullet in his head.” The man shrugs. “Smartest android out there, aren’t you? It’s a no-brainer.”

‘I need you to suddenly lean forward and jab your elbow as hard as you can into his ribcage.’ He sends the message directly to Simon, whose eyes widen just a fraction as he hears it. ‘I will disarm the other two. I have already alerted the police.’

[I’m- I’m not sure I’m fast enough!]

‘You are, Simon. Just do it with as much force as you can muster. Ready?’ Simon tilts his head subtly. He turns up his visual acuity, increasing the speed in which his optics process images and allowing him to track faster than the human eye. Simon jerks forward and jabs his elbow into the man’s ribcage, an audible crack heard above his pained scream. Ronan springs forward and grabs the gun from the one closest to him, pivoting to shoot the second man in his dominant shoulder which causes him to drop his gun. Turning back, he shoots the last assailant in the foot, and Simon lurches free from his hold.

It happens in seconds, too fast for them to process, but fast enough no one dies. A shame, really. Anyone who threatens Simon should not live to tell the tale, but he thinks Simon might not share such sentiments. He hands the gun to Simon who promptly removes the clip as he picks up the other two guns and repeats the action. Bell Isle security has been alerted and he can hear shouting, hear their approaching footsteps. He holds out his palm and displays his badge as they point their guns at him.

“Detective Ronan Anderson, DPD.” He turns to Simon at his side. “Simon of the Jericho Four. DPD has been notified and has already dispatched officers. Please phone for medical help.”

 The night slips away from them as the police arrive, and footage must be handed over, statements must be given. EMTs arrive for the injured assailants and all this time Simon has tucked himself close at his side and Ronan has not let him out of his arms. 

“We’ve missed the last show.” Simon sighs mournfully, looking at the planetarium in the distance. “I mean, not that I’m not grateful given the circumstances.” He huffs a laugh, shaking his head. 

“Come on.” Ronan coaxes him to keep going up the path, the crime scene behind them finally wrapped up. They reach the entrance and the EM400 gasps.

“Simon! Oh!” He thrusts his hand out and shakes Simon’s hand enthusiastically. “Oh! An honour to meet you!”

“Sadly we missed the show due to an incident not far from here.” Ronan explains. “We were hoping you could run one more, if it is not too much trouble?”

“Oh for one of the Jericho Four we would do anything.” The android nods rapidly, and Simon ducks his head shyly. “The current show is finishing in three minutes. Please make your way to the theatre entrance and another Jerry will show you inside. Again, it is such an honour to meet you, Simon.”

“Oh um-! That’s- it’s very lovely to meet you too!” Simon stammers, giving him a little wave as they head inside.

 They sit in the very middle with the best view, as reassured by the Jerry attendant, before he leaves to dim the lights and start the show. Simon looks up, enraptured as they take a tour through the animated sky, ‘visiting’ constellations and planets in their galaxy. 

Slowly, Ronan moves his hand sideways and tangles their fingers together again, and though Simon does not look at him, a lovely smile spreads on his face. 

After a moment, Simon leans over and presses their mouths together and they kiss under the billowing pillars of the Carina Nebula.

#rk900 #dbh simon #simon pl600 #Detroit: Become Human #simon900 #whumptober #annie writes: dbh

[blairwaldorffashiongg-archive]

31) 3 favourite boys names, 32) 3 favourite girls names, 33) favourite actor, 34) favourite actress, 41) top 10 favourite songs and 94) favourite lyrics right now - sorry for so many, i'm curious!

Nicolas, Leo, Max

Victoria, Isabel, Vanessa

Yon Gonzalez

Keira Knightley

10 favorite songs I’ve been listening to recently, not in any specific order

Seven by Taylor Swift

Cinnamon Girl by Lana del Rey

Salvame by RBD (their music is finally on Spotify!!)

Slow Burn by Kacey Musgraves

Fake Mona Lisa by Carly Rae Jepsen

Tell Me by Saoirse Ronan

Cardigan by Taylor Swift

Hunger by Florence and The Machine

La Fuerza del Destino by Fey

Mirrorball by Taylor Swift

Favorite lyrics:

Please picture me In the weeds Before I learned civility I used to scream ferociously Any time I wanted

I've been having a hard time adjusting I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting I didn't know if you'd care if I came back I have a lot of regrets about that

And I'm still a believer, but I don't know why I've never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try I'm still on that trapeze I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs The smell of smoke would hang around this long 'Cause I knew everything when I was young I knew I'd curse you for the longest time Chasin' shadows in the grocery line I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired And you'd be standin' in my front porch light And I knew you'd come back to me

They mistook my kindness for weakness I fucked up, I know that, but Jesus Can't a girl just do the best she can? Catch a wave and take in the sweetness Think about it, the darkness, the deepness All the things that make me who I am

Oh, and you in all your vibrant youth How could anything bad ever happen to you? You make a fool of death with your beauty, and for a moment I forget to worry

I'm alright with a slow burn Taking my time, let the world turn I'm gonna do it my way, it'll be alright If we burn it down and it takes all night It's a slow burn, yeah

Thanks for asking! xo

[abarbaricyalp]

To Be Seen As We Are

@pynchpromptweek

Pynch, Prompt: Hurt/Comfort, Rated: M

Warnings: Discussions of canon typical abuse/self harm/violence, vomiting before the cut

Not quite NSFW, but mature discussions and intimate touching

AO3 Link

By some ungrace, Ronan and Adam hadn’t gotten much further than making out and holding onto each other’s fingers or face or hair by the Christmas break, hadn’t gotten to slip under shirts and cling to shoulder blades and trace ribs, too afraid that wandering hands would find the weak spot in this happy mirage. That, plus the fact that Adam still spent most of his time in the Aglionby uniform or coveralls, two of the most difficult outfits for Ronan to get his hands under. But over the break, while Adam half moved into the Barns and suddenly disregarded his uniform for a whole month, they, and their hands, had gotten braver.

Adam supposed he should’ve said something instead of just tensing up .2 seconds before  Ronan's calloused hands found the raised line of skin scarred over. And then another and another and another. All the way down his back, crisscrossing and becoming each other. He froze. Adam froze. 

"I-um-I..." Ronan started, but had no words. Gently, he moved Adam out of his lap, into the soft downy of Ronan’s bed, the blanket that had kept him warm and safe for ages before he’d left, for the same years Adam was… He made a dash for the bathroom. He didn't make it to the toilet, but the sink worked just as well as he heaved back out whatever take out they'd dug out of the fridge.

Adam stared off at the wall the bathroom door was set in, unable to bring his eyes to Ronan’s shaking back. He knew should’ve said something, at least mentioned it, but he hadn’t expected Ronan to react with such revolusion to one of Adam’s darkest secrets laid bare like that. Ronan, who had taken everything in such stride--an angry scowl when Adam showed up with a blackened cheek, the quiet deliberate revision of his behavior if he ever caught Adam flinching when he spoke too loudly or moved too quickly--had suddenly found his limit with how broken Adam was.

He had to let go of the blanket when he realized the seams were beginning to pull apart. When he heard the water turn on in the bathroom, he slowly stood up. Every part of him wanted to run out the door and never look Ronan in the face again, but Ronan was still coughing in the bathroom and he went to him instead.

“Wash your mouth out,” he said as he stepped behind Ronan, running his hand over the other’s back and then fixing the tank top he’d rucked up a few minutes ago.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” Ronan snarled into the sink bowl.

Adam blinked and some part of his traitorous heart that didn’t want to be the victim loosened. “Wash your mouth,” he repeated.

Ronan’s knuckles went white on the edge of the faux-marble countertop and Adam quickly placed his hand over Ronan’s. “If I ever see that shitstain in public, I’m going to fucking kill him.”

He straightened up suddenly, sending Adam almost stumbling backwards, and then pulled him into a tight hug. For a moment, Adam was so lost and confused, his arms didn’t come up to Ronan’s waist. But slowly his body at least decided that it knew this. It knew pressing close to Ronan’s chest and taking heat and love from him.

“Adam, we knew for so long what was happening. I think about what we allowed to happen, what happened because we didn’t speak up, all the time and it makes me sick,” Ronan muttered into Adam’s hair.

“Are you sure it’s not me who makes you sick?” Adam asked quietly, muffling against Ronan’s neck.

Ronan physically jolted away, hands up coming up to Adam’s shoulders to keep them close. “What? What the fuck, Parrish? Of course it’s not you. Why would it ever be you?”

Adam brought the heel of his hand up to his eyes and quickly wiped away at the tears he was gearing up to deny. “I’m not an idiot. I know scars aren’t nice to look at. And you’d look at scars on my back a lot.” Eventually. Hopefully. God, what was wrong with him, talking about that kind of thing right now?

Ronan continued to stare at him, jaw a little loose, eyes very bright. “Are you kidding me?” he asked and reached for Adam’s hand, folding his fingers firmly over the scars that cut across his forearms. “I’m the last person who can say shit about scars. I mean, God, Adam, you let me hold you all the time. You hold my arms every night we fall asleep. I don’t mind scars.” They had more than enough between them for a lifetime, and those were just the ones they could see.

Adam had never considered Ronan’s scars the way he thought about his own. Ronan’s scars were just a part of him, a story he missed by a few months. Sometimes he thought about whether or not things would’ve been different if he’d started at Aglionby a year before he did, and sometimes at night, he stared at Ronan’s face and tried to decide if he was still dreaming of a way out, but those were the few times Adam actively even noticed the scars. The rest of the time, it was just Ronan and his body. He didn’t like to think he almost didn’t get Ronan.

Ronan brought his hand up to Adam’s cheek, holding him like he was something worth taking care of. “I care about you so much. A few scars aren’t going to drive me away. I’m just...so angry at everything about your situation.”

“It’s done, Ro,” Adam muttered, quiet and serious. He felt a little foolish, but it was drowned out by how raw he felt, ready to flinch at every word that sounded like goodbye. “There’s no going back and changing things. And I’ve...made peace with it. He can’t hurt me again.”

Ronan shook his head and hugged Adam again. “I’m angry at everyone. You dad, Gansey, the cops, the jury, but mostly me. I’m sorry.”

Adam contemplated that. Telling Ronan there was nothing for him to be sorry about would do no good. Instead, he said, “Wash your mouth.”

And Ronan finally listened, spitting mouthwash mostly anywhere but the sink. “Can I look at them?” he asked softly, looking suddenly younger, like a boy Adam only heard about from Gansey.

Adam nodded and brought Ronan back to the bedroom, kneeling on his bed. Ronan followed after him, knees pressed against Adam’s, and he reached for Adam’s hands. Adam pressed his fingers under Ronan’s bracelets.

“When I first started dreaming about guys, y’know, in a hot way, I could never see the guy’s face,” Ronan said softly, looking at where Adam’s fingers were tracing over his skin. “And I always covered his eyes, like I didn’t want him to see me. It wasn’t right. He wasn’t right.” He looked up at Adam’s face, at the hurt and hope there. “I want you to see me, Adam. All of me. And I want to see you,” he said.

Adam shifted to crawl into Ronan’s lap, thighs hot and tight around Ronan’s hips as he reached for the hem of Ronan’s tank top. When Ronan’s fingers found the hem of Adam’s shirt, he looked at him seriously. “Are you sure?” he asked.

“Parrish, if I don’t get my mouth on the rest of your freckles right now, I’m gonna go mad and you’re gonna have to put me in a hospital,” Ronan said and finally the corner of Adam’s mouth tilted up. He pulled his shirt off and Ronan met him immediately for a messy, clashing  kiss, fingers burning against bare skin and shoulders brushing shoulders.

Adam worried suddenly again, about the scar by his collarbones where it broke once and never healed properly or the small burns on his shoulders, but then Ronan’s mouth found a cluster of freckles at his armpit and a birthmark on his sternum and he traced his collarbones without even pausing at the scar. Adam had never considered that there were things to love in his skin too.

Ronan’s hand found the small of his back, pressed flat over a pile of scars, and he slowly lowered Adam back into the bed, moving to straddle him at the same time and then getting his mouth on his chest again. “I wanna memorize you,” he breathed and the huskiness of it went right through Adam like a lightning bolt. Ronan’s mouth continued down the flat line of Adam’s sternum, following the curve of his pectoral muscles, coming back to experimentally lav his tongue over Adam's nipple. He needed to stop. He was getting light headed with want and adoration. Probably, he thought, there was no blood left in his head at this point.

“Turn over,” he finally said and Adam did. He could feel the bed shift as Ronan sat back and a few seconds later, his hands were tracing the old lines of belts and cords that had cut across his back years and years ago.

“It was only a few years. Around when I started high school. I don’t know why he picked it up, or why he stopped,” he explained softly, pillowing his arms under his head. “He’d make me count until I couldn’t anymore. And then he’d keep going in case I was faking it.” He remembered the nights vividly. They were loud and endless. A neighbor confronting him was probably the only reason he stopped.

Ronan’s fingers curled around Adam’s ribs and the bed shifted again before Ronan was suddenly dragging his lips over the scars, tip to bottom for each one, slowly and entirely. Despite the nerve damage under the scars, the skin between them sang with pleasure as Ronan’s warm breath and warmer mouth touched on it and eventually he dragged a whole moan from Adam’s throat, stifled though it was.

“One day, I’m going to have you laid bare and I’m gonna learn every secret you have to tell,” Ronan murmured, pressing his face to Adam’s ribs, where he could feel his stuttering breath.

“How many secrets do you think I have?” Adam asked, though he knew they were both still brimming with them. “I don’t want to keep anything from you, Lynch,” he murmured honestly.

Ronan nodded, skin brushing skin--an acknowledgement, an agreement--and leaned up to kiss Adam deeply over his shoulder. “Want a secret?” he asked, like they were actually bartering in gossip and stories.

“A Lynch secret?” Adam asked.

“My secret,” Ronan said. “I’m so in love with you, Adam Parrish.”

Adam turned back over, not hiding the scars on his back, but exposing the cage of his erratic beating heart and all the beauty and hurt of it. “I see you, Ronan Lynch. I see you.”

#pynch #fanfiction #adam parrish #ronan lynch #hurt comfort #prompt #writing #otp: in more than his lips #cw: abuse #cw: self harm #cw: vomit

[cold-neon-ocean]

Let’s talk about Ronan and Crystal for a hot second please

Y’all it astounds me how much this fandom grossly mischaracterizes Ronan and sleeps on his relationship with Crystal like... have any of you read the comics??? Do you not know what an absolute love-struck doofus this man is?????

The War of Kings and Realm of Kings comic runs were are first REAL look at Ronan’s character. Prior to he’d been mostly an antagonist figure who was slowly evolving into more of an anti-hero. But we hadn’t spent any significant time getting to know him outside of the Annihilation run (and even there it was still limited). How he behaves with Crystal is a showing of who he genuinely is and how he naturally behaves. The Kree are in a very difficult spot in their history at this time, being unable to evolve, but despite this Ronan never has a short fuse with Crystal, never raises his voice at her, he’s never once in his whole character run even REMOTELY angry with her of his own mind, even when Medusa pushes him to his limits. He never takes out any of his frustration on her, and is only ever respectful and understanding. Coming from all the previously known info about Ronan, painting him as nothing but this difficult, aggressive, blood-thirsty, conquest hungry, warlord, to THIS, a very caring individual capable of loving and loving purely, giving his 100% devotion to this one woman was very surprising to say the least. 

I could get into all my thoughts about Ronan as a character as he’s my end all be all single favorite fictional character and has been for the past... almost 6 years now~ but I’ll save it and get into beginnings of his and Crystal’s relationship! 

I’m gonna start from the beginning of Realm of Kings, after the complicated war with the Shi’ar just so I can get to the meat of their budding romance and just how much of an absolute dork Ronan is (I’ll touch on the preceding events in War of Kings and some stuff after Realm of Kings a little in this too but I’m gonna save most of it for a separate post!) For context, the Kree are now being ruled under the Inhuman Royal Family. Ronan and Crystal were arranged to be married as a political symbol of the two races’ newfound unity and it was meant to be just that. Their relationship was a pretty slow burn that neither of them, or anyone, expected.

[ Above - Realm of Kings: Inhumans 01 ] So from the get go Ronan is just,, PROTECC even tho at this point their relationship is SUPPOSED to be purely political he’s still so sweet and polite with her just out of seemingly sheer natural instinct. This guy isn’t used to relationships okay, he’s literally only ever been in one other one his wholeass life and it didn’t really go very well. He’s very much just trying to do the chivalrist thing and doesn’t demean her in any way, or at least he very much doesn’t mean to, nor does he think she’s incapable he’s just naturally trying to be a gentleman.

[ Above - Realm of Kings: Inhumans 01 ] Their growing relationship is very subtly hinted at in the early interactions between them, as they’re both very polite with each other. Crystal’s genuine kindness towards him REGULARLY catches Ronan very much off guard as he’s just... not used to that kind of interaction with others?? He’s so used to being approached with hostility or fear or an uncomfortable worship like respect that when someone is just.. genuinely nice to him he can hardly process it.

Crystal would visit him in the hospital after the Shi’ar attack on their wedding (where Ronan nearly died) and Ronan was probably so surprised to see her there like “I forced her to marry me so I could maintain some political status over the Kree which I already felt bad about, then our wedding was laid waste to by the Shi’ar but she came to visit me in the hospital??? Why would she do that, doesn’t she hate me?????” But no she doesn’t hate him, and not only does she visit him to keep him updated on how the Kree were fairing she’d go so far as to just take him outside for some fresh air and a break from staring at nothing but four hospital walls all day. She doesn’t HAVE to be doing any of this, she doesn’t HAVE to care about the Kree or him but she does, and Ronan is just unable to understand why because all he ever receives is hostility; the Kree abandoned, tried to wipe out, then tried to re-enslave the Inhumans, he was well aware she didn’t want to marry him, and yet here she is- caring about all of the Kree, caring about him. Even the Kree people themselves have been shown to be quick to turn on him, despite his lifelong devotion to them; but SHE, despite having no reason to, is genuinely compassionate and caring with him so how could he not start falling for her just a little?? 

Alrighty so this is gonna be a LONG ONE so I’m putting the rest under a cut for the sake of your dashboard :’D 

[ Above - Realm of Kings: Inhumans 02 ] More big protective husband mode. I love that she keeps having to remind him that she’s fine but his brain is just in constant “PROTECC WIFE MODE” he’s a disaster. A total and utter disaster of a man. Also Crystal casually calling him “husband” kasjdfashf meanwhile he’s not sure if it’s okay for him to refer to her so casually (even tho it is you blue dumbass) so he just calls her either “my lady” or “Lady Crystal” respectfully or just by name. He called her “my wife” once before this in WoK but he was talking to Medusa as he said it and not addressing Crys directly.

[ Above - Realm of Kings: Inhumans 02 ] By far one of my favorite single comic panels in existence. STILL BEFORE THEY ACTUALLY REALIZE AND GIVE IN TO THEIR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER, he get 1(one) kis for checking in on her after they run into Pietro (who is an absolute garbage man btw I could talk about him too). Look at his face. He is on cloud nine right now, he could die happy right here. He got kis and frankly he deserves u3u (I’ll talk more about this panel later!)

[ Above - Realm of Kings: Inhumans 03 ] (sorry if this is a little hard to read) Look at him confess to her at how genuinely impressed he is with her. Not because of how she treats him, he’s of course leaving his personal gratitude out because he’s already been told their relationship is supposed to be political, but because of how she’s gained respect from the Kree people- more so than her family has! Because why? Because Crystal has shown actually cares, wow! The Kree aren’t exactly what one would call “popular” among other races in the cosmos, and they don’t particularly care, so Crys giving a genuine care about them (especially given the Inhuman’s personal relationship with the Kree) is astounding. The fact that she has any room in her heart for them and assumes her responsibility over them maturely and with and honest desire to do right by them~ Ronan is so grateful, especially given that she’s pretty much the only one aside from himself advocating for the well being of the Kree to Blackbolt and Medusa.

[ Above - Realm of Kings: Inhumans 03 ] Another of my favorite Ronan moments because.. just.... GOD! It’s Zarek’s insult to his patriotism that sets him off because he’s been through plenty of that before, but you DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT INSULT HIS WIFE! It’s the insult to HER that enrages him. Let’s face it, if Crystal hand’t asked him not to, Ronan would have ceased this man’s whole existence in an instant.

[ Above - Realm of Kings: Inhumans 03 ] But of course, she still appreciates the sentiment! Also Ronan’s deadpan “Just about” makes me wheeze aloud ever time. He wanted to eviscerate this dude for insulting her but didn’t because wife asked him not to. He’s so fucking mad tho look at him akjsdhfa wife please let me destroy this man in your honor

[ Above - Realm of Kings: Inhumans 03 ] And then he goes and lets his feelings slip! Which she’s actually kind of amused by, as she’s been picking up on his affections for a little while now (he’s been totally subtle about it /s). But her last marriage didn’t end well at all so no doubt she was probably withholding to see just what kind of man Ronan is (spoiler alert: he’s a grade-A husband turns out and a really genuine guy when you get to know him. Or should I say when he lets you get to know him lol!). He also very subtly calls her ‘fine’ here which, I mean.. she is let’s be real. 

[ Above - Realm of Kings: Inhumans 03 ] (again, sorry this is hard to read! tumblr really didn’t want to work with me on these pics akjsdh) Probably one of my top two favorite Ronan and Crystal moments. She calls him out on calling her “beloved” and this ABSOLUTE DUMBASS first tries to play it off like he has no idea what she’s talking about then is just like “oh uh.... well I mean... it was... the heat of the moment......” Excellent cover, my good sir, no one suspects a thing. But of course Crystal isn’t gonna let him get away with that so easily. And in a moment of pure bad bitch energy she THREATENS TO KISS HIM if he keeps it up. And he’s just AGHAST, SCANDALIZED, HOWEVER COULD SHE HAVE FIGURED OUT HIS FEELINGS FOR HER??? HE WAS SO SUBTLE, SO RIGID IN HIS COMMITMENT TO KEEPING THINGS PURELY POLITICAL. SHE MUST BE SOME SORT OF PSYCHIC! (insert metal gear solid exclamation point sound effect on Ronan’s face in the last panel someone help this man)

Crystal: “You said you liked me.”

Ronan, the pinnacle of Kree dignity: “.......... No I didn’t..”

[ Above - Realm of Kings: Inhumans 04 ]  Crystal is nothing if not a lady of her word and it doesn’t take her long to cash in on that threat~ When Maximus mind controls Ronan and tries to force him to kill himself (Bioshock 2 style) Crys figures this is the perfect way to snap him out of it, and she was very correct. Ronan’s face I just sob lol, he’s always so lost for words when flustered bless this adorable soft man. He’s not used to kisses. (Also Crys putting a hand on his chest is my favorite thing, and just wait until they start holding hands)

And from this moment on these two are pretty much all in on this relationship. No more hiding, no more denying their feelings for the sake of politics. There’s of course a lot more in War of Kings about the very beginnings of their character dynamic and their arranged marriage but I’ll get to that in a separate post (if you made it this far I appreciate you so much and apologize profusely)! 

What I’ve always loved about their relationship and why it’s my all time favorite is just how pure and genuine it is, and how much they benefited each other and how much they grew as individuals through each other. Ronan from the beginning felt bad about their arranged marriage, he didn’t do it for any other reason than needing to maintain a seat of authority when handing over leadership of the Kree to the Inhumans in the hopes the Inhumans would help them with their stagnant evolution. He never tried to solicit anything from Crystal, and maintained a respectful space, never overstepping any boundary unless SHE invited him to do so, but always offering himself should she need. The relationship only ever moved at the pace she wanted. Ronan valued her input and views and demanded nothing but respect for her from others (I mean look at what happened to Zarek when he called Crystal a “pink-fleshed lab animal”).

[ Above - Realm of Kings: Inhumans 02 ] (spliced this page for the sake of posting) Jumping back in the timeline a little bit, this particular moment is one I find very important. Crystal defending Ronan in front of her ex-husband Quicksilver (who sucks) while also subtly hinting at her own growing affections for him. She says that Ronan is actually “rather sweet”, so his constant protectiveness is clearly something she takes no offense to. Not only that, but when Quicksilver asks if Ronan makes “her feel the same way he used to”, Crystal ADAMANTLY says that Ronan does not and the’s grateful that he doesn’t. She told him that she doesn’t need to justify anything to him yet she makes a point to be very clear that Ronan has shown himself to be better of a husband than Quicksilver was. Remember, Crystal and Quicksilver’s marriage didn’t end well (I’ve personally never liked how lightly Marvel has taken it and how things seem to smooth over rather unrealistically. The things Quicksilver did should be unforgivable.) so not only is Crystal going to let Quicksilver show up and interrogate her on her new marriage, she’s definitely not going to let him down-talk her new husband, who frankly, she’s surprisingly happy with and who’s treated her better and valued her more than Pietro ever did. Also to clarify, this is the conversation where Ronan comes in and checks on Crystal afterwards, asking if she’s alright and insisting he’s not trying to pry (and getting that kiss on the cheek from her); he doesn’t butt in on the conversation at any point and gives them space. I don’t think he’s aware of their previous marital status, that subject might be a bit too heavy for Crystal to share with him so early on, but he clearly senses the tension and makes a point to ask Crystal if she’s okay when he’s able. I think Crystal saying aloud what it is about Ronan that sets him apart from Quicksilver, and how he’s turned out to actually be a really good husband is what maybe flipped that final small switch in her, like hearing it out loud made her think “huh he really has been nothing like I expected, maybe he is someone I can be happy with~” thus prompting the kiss on the cheek even tho she hasn’t yet confronted him about his feelings or made her own clear to him. She’s just very grateful to him, of how kind he’s been, how he’s listened to and valued what she has to say more than Quicksilver or her own family seems to, and of course she’s just endeared to his surprising gentle and sweet nature.

It’s a real shame that Marvel erased all of this in the MCU, Ronan has shown a few minor hints of what could be a personality similar to this in the movies but we all know that didn’t last long. Ronan’s a surprisingly deep character, and a rather sad one when you look at his history, it’s just a lot more subtle than a lot of the big name Marvel characters. Crystal was probably the first truly good thing to have ever happened to him, and aside from her daughter of course, he was probably the same for her as well. The writing of their relationship is my absolute favorite due to how mature and subtle it was. Ronan never tried to win her over so that their marriage would seem more like a desirable thing to her like you’d expect characters in a situation like this to do. He gave her space and respected her boundaries and was just genuine and kind (something we didn’t know he was capable of up until this point), and in doing so she just naturally gravitated towards him. They were both always mature, no petty relationship drama like jealousy or miscommunication like so many couples in fiction are written for the sake of making things interesting (which they never do in my opinion, it’s just annoying) and then is dragged out unnecessarily. None of that cliche “they could easily sort things out if they just talk to each other!” or “person A is jealous of person B just talking to their ex even though there is no reason for them to be”. Crystal and Ronan are both too old and have been through too much to deal with petty nonsense like that. They see each other for their true and genuine selves and love each other for them and that’s all that matters. Like I said, Ronan was willing to defy the whole of the Kree empire, the empire he’s given his life to, for her without a shred of hesitation; and when the Inhumans decided to leave Hala and return to earth, Crystal chose to stay with Ronan (all moments I’ll talk about in a separate post at some point!) 

There’s so much more I could say about just these early stages within Realm of Kings alone but there’s even more within War of Kings and following comics like Fantastic Four and others I want to touch on in another post as alas I don’t have the room for all the images I want to share :’D 

But thank you for reading this far if you did! These two are so special to me and I could talk about them endlessly ;;

#Marvel #Ronan the Accuser #Crystal Amaquelin #ronan x crystal #Kree #Inhumans #War of Kings #Realm of Kings #Marvel Comics #MCU #[ I could write a book about Ronan okay listen #I've invested 6 years of my life into this big blue dumbass #and I don't care what anyone says I like the Inhumans #and Crys is my favorite Marvel lady #her and Ronan could have been such a power couple in the MCU #*shakes fist at marvel* why yall gotta ruin my kids ] #long post

[screamingatanemptyroom]

I Can’t Eat Love- Side Part 1 - Nate

This is the first of 4 or 5 side parts (I might do an Edith part, but if i do it will be fairly short). We’re starting off with Nate, with plans for Rig’s to be the next one. 

Master post linked here. (I’ll update it again after posting).

Again, this will be from Nate’s POV. 

Enjoy!

______________________________

In a previous life...

No one ever truly looked at me, despite being a prince, despite trying my best. Their gazes always slipped past me, to focus on someone else. I felt sometimes that i was shouting, screaming for someone to see me, see who i was... but it always came to nothing in the end.

I noticed it early on.

______________________________

“Nate!” My older brother George called out as he crashed into my room without notice. “People are in trouble! We have to go help them!” 

I sighed loudly. George always said the exact same thing. Last time was because his favorite shop was out of sweets. “What is it this time?”

“I saw some people didn’t have homes on the streets, I’m going to help them.”

“You want to start a charity?”  I stood, up, already thinking through the steps that would need to be accomplished.

George stopped in his tracks, his enthusiasm waning. “Eh, a charity? Can’t we just… get them off the streets?”

A headache started forming behind my eyes. I rubbed my temples, closing my eyes. “I’ll take care of the paperwork. We’ll get a charity started and help the people you are worried about.”

“Perfect!” Excited once more, George clapped me on the back before charging back out, the open swinging door the only trace of his outburst. I sighed again.

I would be busy for a while.

______________________________

“George! We are so proud of the charitable work you’ve been doing lately!” Father spoke up at dinner, his eyes warm as he studied my brother.

Wait, what? I looked up from my meal, shocked. Neither of my parents paid any attention to me, however, both focused on my older brother.

“Thanks!” George happily accepted the compliment, never glancing in my direction. An angry flame built up in my chest.

Why wasn’t he telling them that I did most of the work? Why doesn’t anyone care that I was the one who made this project a success?

“But…” I tried to speak up, feeling embarrassed but determined to be seen.

“You need to be more like your brother, Nate.” My Mother smiled calmly at me, not noticing the pain she was causing. “You could learn a lot from him.”

 My determination shriveled to nothing in my chest, and i stared back down at my plate, blinking back tears.

I didn’t finish dinner that night.

“Why didn’t you tell them?” I asked him later, upset. His only response was to stare innocently back at me.

“We both worked hard. I’m sure they realize that.”

But they didn’t.

They never did.

______________________________

“Let go of her!” George yelled out, charging into the middle of a group of men harassing a young woman. They outnumbered him twelve to one, and he had below average fighting ability, he was quickly restrained, a punch landing on his stomach by a smirking gang member.

Seeing all this as I arrived, I ordered the royal guards I had brought with me to split the group in half, quickly joining the side that held my brother captive. 

“DO YOUR WORST YOU COWARDS!” George screamed fearlessly at them even as he was helpless to break free. 

I saw the knife pointing in his direction, and jumped forward to protect him without thinking, wincing as the blade cut through my skin.

At least I had saved him, despite his rashness. I felt my heart lift, ignoring the painful bleeding wound on my arm. They would have to see me now.

______________________________

“WHY DIDN’T YOU GO WITH YOUR BROTHER?” My father was angry, glancing between a bruised and battered George and me. “He wouldn’t have been hurt nearly as badly if you had been there from the start!”

I gritted my teeth, still holding pressure to the bandage across my slashed arm. “I don’t know what George told you, but we needed reinforcements…”

 “He said you didn’t care when he told you about the young woman in trouble.” My father’s eyes were cold, freezing my heart.

“I just said we needed more people to do it safely… I was always planning to help but...”

He raised a hand, dismissing my words. “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” 

Looking at George’s pitiful smile, and my father’s uncomfortable stare, I slowly closed my mouth, refusing to speak further.

______________________________

Incident after incident, it was always me bailing him out of trouble, yet somehow he took all the credit for the achievements, and I was responsible for all the failures. A darkness grew in my heart, a deep and angry bitterness that I couldn’t suppress.

Why was I helping him?

The thought came more and more frequently. 

And then came the day.The terrible day i regretted more than any other.

“People are in trouble! There are bandits! We have to go help them!”

I smiled coldly at my brother’s frantic words, but never looked up.

“Then go help them.”

“…” George stared at me in shock. I understood. In the past I had always leapt to my feet, eager to help any way I could. 

“You should probably get more information, such as locations and numbers. Make sure to bring reinforcements, too.” I spoke carelessly as I continued to read the book in front of me, ignoring him.

“Aren’t you going to take care of things?”

“No.” I smiled, looking at his disappointed expression without flinching.

“Don’t you care about our people?”

“I’m just taking our parents advice to heart.” I laughed, but it was a bitter, unpleasant sound. “I’m going to be more like you. I’m going to sit here, and let someone else do all the work.”

I felt a brief moment of elation as he left empty handed. This time, I wouldn’t be used. This time, our parents would see that it was always my hard work that George had depended on. They would look at me, truly look at me, for the first time. 

I smiled, turning my attention back to my book, not sparing another thought as George slammed the door behind him.

But that was the last time I saw my brother alive.

At first, it seemed like a bad joke. How could he die the one time I didn’t help him? Why did he just rush in like always without reinforcements, had he thought I would come despite what I said?

All my anger, my frustration, my jealousy… it was left without a target.

It was just me left.

But still… no one truly looked at me.

The nobles, the castle servants… my parents. They continued to mourn, and now instead of fighting to be compared to an imperfect older brother, I was constantly haunted by the perfection of their memories.

I was trapped.

______________________________

I traveled a lot, hoping to escape their sad gazes. Escape my own guilt. In Reterand, I met some interesting people. Jim was an official in the Royal Treasury, who spent some time explaining economic theory to me. The Queen in particular was kind, even if she spent most of her time telling me how wonderful her “daughter” was and how much we would get along.

I found this confusing. As far as I knew, The Royal family only had one child, a son.

I didn’t stay long in that kingdom. The crown prince Ronan was particularly annoying. He spent the majority of his time boasting about his many talents, and the small remainder complaining about his fiancé, who he called “a boring girl.”

I felt sorry for her, whoever she was. It wouldn’t be easy to marry a man like that. 

I returned to Tilendria, and never thought much of it again. A few years later, however, a report crossed my desk.

“Ronan broke his engagement?” I raised an eyebrow as I read the report, a slight pain in my chest as it described the way the poor girl had been callously tossed aside at a public party.

“And is now engaged to her close friend, the daughter of a count.” A servant confirmed.

“Poor girl.” The words left my mouth in a whisper. I searched my memory, trying to think if I had ever met her, but came up blank. I hoped she was able to find a better life. Ronan would not have made a good husband. I set the report down, shaking my head as I caught sight of the name at the top of the page. “Poor Lenora.”

______________________________

It wasn’t until almost two years later that I visited Reterand again. Any time spent in the presence of Prince Ronan and his wife Edith was insufferable. Ronan was no better than the first time I met him, arrogant and loud. Edith was even worse, with no sense of propriety. She would attempt to order me around as a servant, claiming that Tilendria was a “small, insignificant country” and I should be glad for the opportunity to serve her.

What a fool. I ignored her, curious instead as to why I could no longer meet the Queen. She had been kind and helpful last time I had visited, if a little obsessed with her daughter. But when I asked around, everyone had similar uncomfortable expressions.

“She’s in mourning, Your Highness.” One of the more competent butlers, a man named Hallers, informed me finally. I was curious, and couldn’t help asking.

“Who is she mourning?”

“…” Despite the man’s professional mask, I caught sight of a brief flash of grief behind his eyes. Hallers hid it well, but he seemed to be deeply affected by the loss of whoever had died.

Seeing his reluctance to speak, I simply patted him on the shoulder, allowing him to leave. Such a cold, professional man, what kind of person could have gotten close to him to leave him so heartbroken? 

Still thinking of this, I headed out of the castle, wanting to escape spending time away from the prince and his group. I decided to go igcognito, using a scarf and cloak to hide my features and forgoing my guards. It was a little foolish, but I felt that as long as I wasn’t recognized, I’d be fine. 

I was definitely mistaken.

______________________________

 “Give us your money!” A pair of burly men cornered me in an alley. He held out a knife towards my face, giving me a gap toothed grin.

“I can honestly say I don’t have much on me.” Other than a couple of crowns, which I readily held out, I hadn’t brought anything with me. My free hand gripped the pommel of my sword under my cape. I wasn’t a brilliant fighter, but I should be able to hold my own against these two. 

But still I hesitated. If I was found to be involved in a bloody incident, this could have some diplomatic ramifications. While I was thinking this over, the man stepped closer, his eyes vicious. “Then I’ll just have to cut you open and see what else is worth selling.”

My hand tightened on my sword as he drew near, but before I could draw it…

THUD.

 A throwing knife grazed the man’s face, hitting the wall behind him. The sound of happy laughter filled the air. 

“What the…?” Surprised, all three of us looked up at the roof of the nearby building, the source of the attack. To my utter shock, a beautiful young woman sat on the edge, spinning a blade on her palm. She was dressed in black, loosely fitting clothes, her light hair tied up behind her head. The woman was smiling, but it was not a kind smile. And her eyes…

Intelligent, sad… they were deeper than any other I had ever seen. I was lost in them.

“Hate to spoil your fun, but you know that Rig doesn’t like you two doing business in his terf.” She laughed again, a pleasant sound. I felt my cheeks flush with warmth. I had seen beautiful women before, there were plenty in the royal court, but none with the simple confidence and steadiness she displayed with the smallest of actions. It was breathtaking to watch.

“WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE…?” One of the robbers started to shout, only to be stopped by his friend, who was still clutching his bleeding face.

“Shut up, fool! That’s Rig’s daughter.”

“The brat he picked off the streets?” The other man’s eyes widened.

“He threatened to absolutely destroy anyone who hurts her.”

THUD.

Another knife flew past, a long slash appearing on the previously uninjured robber’s chest. He screamed in pain, holding the wound. I stared up at the woman, but all she revealed was a cold grin.

“That’s assuming you are talented enough to hurt me.”

“Don’t be so cocky!” One robber raised his fist. “I’ve heard that’s there’s a noble with a grudge out on Rig. If he get’s taken out, don’t think you’ll last long!”

She picked up a third knife, shrugging. “I’ve given you so many chances, and you’re still not leaving? I guess you’re ready to die then.”

“…” Without another word, the two men turned and ran away. She watched them leave, her face expressionless, her eyes filled with sadness.

“Hey mister, you should be more careful in the streets.” At her words I clutched the scarf that hid my face closer, and made sure my hood was still up. “You stick out while you’re hiding you’re face like that.”

I gave a formal bow. “Thank you for saving me. I wasn’t paying proper attention.”

“Of course.” Grinning, she jumped to the ground in front of me, and gave a formal curtsey. It was flawless, and I stared at her in shock. “Nobility running around without guards though… you could really get into trouble.”

“I could say the same to you.” I returned her words, unsure of what secrets this girl was hiding. She had been formally trained in etiquette, though, it was easily visible in every movement she made, every gesture.

“I’m not nobility… not anymore.” She had a bitter smile, but even more so she seemed… lonely. I found myself wanting to reach out, to comfort her, but my hand froze mid-gesture, unsure if she would be insulted.

 “What’s your name anyways?” She studied me curiously, her eyes looking straight at me. “If you don’t mind me asking?”

She was my savior, how could I refuse? I started to pull down the scarf covering my face.

“I’m…”

“LENORA!” A voice cried out, and a distraught young man looked around the corner into the alley, his face pale. “IT’S RIG… he’s…” He trailed, off, shaking his head.

I heard her breath rush in. “Let’s go.”

She ran after him, pausing in the alleyway entrance to look back at me once. “Be careful in the future. I may not be there to save you next time.”

I grinned. “How about next time, I save you?”

“Deal.” She laughed, although anxiety now had crept into her voice. She was obviously worried about her this man Rig. I hoped he was okay. Without another word, she turned around and left, and I was alone once again.

I stared at the spot where she had been for a long time, my heartbeat in my ears, before turning back and returning to the palace.  

______________________________

On my arrival I received a message, calling me back to Tilendria. I hesitated, my mind turning to the young woman I had met today, unable to completely forget her. Was she okay? Did she need help?

She was the first person to reach out and help me, not expecting me to do anything in return. So many people were willing to use me, wanting me to help them… even my own brother… but this woman… Lenora, they had called her….

I wanted to see her again.

I returned home, heeding the urgency in my summons, but I didn’t forget. I sent some of my servants back to Reterand and asked them to search for the young woman, and to offer help immediately if she was found. They had discovered that Rig, who had apparently run an information and spying ring, had been murdered, and the remainder of his gang had been imprisoned or killed. 

My heart in my throat, I had them examine the bodies, and look at those captured, but none of them matched the description of Lenora.

Had she escaped?

Weeks, months went by without a word. I visited Reterand again, ignoring everyone else, just wandering around the Capital city, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, but my efforts were fruitless.

Until a terrible day came, and they found her.

______________________________

My men’s faces were solemn as they reported to me, the sense of failure hanging heavy around them. i fell to my knees, my breath freezing in my lungs. It was too late.

She was dead.

I had them take me to her, a stabbing pain in my chest. I took in her overly thin form, her gaunt face which was still, so different from the lively woman who I had met on the streets that day. 

I reached out, touching her cold, stiff hand, blinking back tears. 

“What happened?” My voice was cold, I saw some of the servants shiver before one stepped forward to answer.

“We examined her… it appears to be starvation that took her life. Only…” He hesitated again, but at my glare swallowed and continued on. “Someone must have had a grudge against her. Her body was taken away to the palace, for a short while, and then tossed out into the wilderness beyond the city for the animals to dispose of. In fact, the only reason we were able to find her was due to those strange movements.”

I felt my heart break, my hand tightening on hers. Starvation. What a terrible death.

“I promised to save you.” My words were whispered, but each one hurt like a blow. 

“Your Highness…”

“We’ll bury her in Tilendria. In the Royal plot.”

Silence filled the room for a few tense moments.

“A-are you sure? That’s only for…” He trailed off, unsure, but I smiled, knowing what he was trying to say.

It was a place made for the burial of royalty. Typically the only ones who could be honored there would be my parents, myself… and my wife.

“She saved my life.” My words were simple, but the servant flinched away from me, bowing.

“It shall be done, Your Highness.”  He left to make arrangements, and I stared at the young woman once more.

We had only met once, but she had left such a deep impression on me. What would it have been like if we had lived side by side?

I closed my eyes, grieving. “If there is another life, Lenora. Let me help you in that one. If I’m fortunate enough to meet you again… let me fall in love with you. Let’s get married, and live a happy life. I won’t lose you next time, alright?”

I opened my eyes but the scene before me hadn’t changed, I stood up, staring at her face for the last time.

“Goodbye.”

______________________________

 In another life…

“Nate!” A small hand waved in front of my face and I caught it in my own, laughing. Looking up, Lenora was smiling at me, all traces of the troubles she had recently been through long since faded away. 

“Yes?” I continued holding her hand, watching with interest as  her normally confident expression faltered, her cheeks flushing a bright red.  She shook her head slowly, as if trying to clear it.

“Do you believe me?” Her voice was quieter than I was used to, a tone of uncertainty in it that tore at my heart. I reached out, pulling her in with a tight hug. 

“Of course.” It was a fantastical tale. She had lived and died, being reborn five years earlier and given a second chance to change her fate. If it were anyone else I would laugh, call them crazy.

But this was Lenora.

The strange, beautiful girl who saw things too clearly. Who sacrificed herself at a moment’s notice to prevent anyone from starving within her duchy. Who had stared at her fiancé and best friend betraying her with tired eyes, as if it were only to be expected. If anything, her actions, her pain, made a horrifying amount of sense.

“Do you regret how this life turned out?” I kept hugging her, my heart beating rapidly in my chest.

I loved her. 

Even at our ridiculous first introduction when she grabbed my arm, frightening me by demanding my clothes, she had unknowingly become an irreplaceable presence in my heart. Each moment I spent with her from then on, from arguing with her day after day in lessons with Jim, to helping her gather resources to build a fortune, I fell further and further, unable to escape how I felt and without desire to. Whether we were fighting, or agreeing, or working together she had always truly seen me.

I still thought this might be a dream. That her telling me she loved me too, agreeing to marry me might be a fantasy my desperate mind cooked up. But here she was, by my side, smiling.

I hoped she was happy.

“No. I like this ending much better.” She grinned, leaning up and kissing my cheek. I felt myself turn red, looking up at the ceiling with a sigh.

“Still, it seems really unfair.” I frowned at her. “You knew everyone else in your previous life. Even Rig and Marile were close to you. But you didn’t know me?”

Lenora shrugged, a smile tugging at her lips as I pouted. “I’m pretty sure I would have remembered you.”

“Well, if I had known you in the previous life, I would like to think I would have tried to help you.” The thought made me curious. A life that only Lenora could remember. A life where we never met.

What kind of person would I be, if I hadn’t met her when I did? She had changed my life so much already…

“Well, I guess you’ll have to work even harder in this life, since you didn’t get a chance to know me last time.” She teased me, but her eyes widened with shock as I let go of her, kneeling on the floor in front of her with a solemn expression.

“I promise to try my hardest as your future husband to make you happy in this lifetime, so you won’t regret it.” I reached out, taking her hand and kissing the back of it, enjoying the sight of her being flustered. I was usually the one who got embarrassed first.

“THIS IS SO CUTE!” 

A shout caught both of our attention. To my shock there was a whole group of people hanging behind the cracked door of the room. Hallers and Rig, with serious expressions, had their hands clapped over Lady Erica’s mouth, who had obviously been the one shouting. Marile and the Queen stood nearby, pretending that they hadn’t been spying.

As they let go of her, Lady Erica rushed forward, hugging us both, before grabbing the Queen and Marile to immediately discuss wedding plans. I watched them with a smile, sitting back down next to Lenora, ignoring Rig and Hallers’ cold stares at the closeness between us. I broke out in a cold sweat at the intensity of their gazes, but held on to Lenora’s hand, refusing to move.

She chuckled at their expressions, waving them to sit down. “Stop trying to scare him.”

“He’s a very lucky man, Miss.” Hallers spoke quietly. I fought the urge to hide behind my fiancé at his tone. “We’ll have to have a… talk… with His Royal Highness before the wedding of course.”

Rig cracked his knuckles, grinning. “Yes. A talk. Just so he understands how our girl needs to be treated.”

“I look forward to it.” I lied, hiding my terror.

Lenora burst out laughing, and unknowingly the whole room smiled at her. I squeezed her hand.

“Thank you.”

For looking at me when no one else did. For loving me. For using a second chance at life to spend it with me.

She smiled in response. “Let’s make a new future.”

I nodded, agreeing. “Okay.”

And we would build a new future. Side by side. 

Together.

#writing #i can't eat love #side part 1 #Nate's side #a little past #a little future #Rig is next

[darkness-444]

Description; you were driving home from your job when you get lost. In the middle of the road you spot what appears to be a large dark figure. As you approach it you realize it appears to be a wolf that’s wounded.

{Warnings; this fic is nsfw, extreme sexual explicit language & scenes. however this part 1 does not contain nsfw }

╔ —————————╗  

      PART ONE

╚ ————————— ╝ 

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••                  

“Good job, [Y/N]! You can go home now.”

“Thanks, Joe...” You tiredly answered.

Throwing on your blue, white and grey over-sized plaid button up, you begrudgingly grabbed your keys and handbag, slowly exiting the restaurant. You were extremely tired, made almost no tips despite working a 9 hour shift with little to know break. You opened up your car and threw yourself into the drivers seat, slamming the door shut.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” You yelled while slapping the steering wheel.

Rent was due in less than three days, and you had about $300 to your name. It wasn’t like you were irresponsible with your money, but your shitty roommate and her inability to pay rent was making it harder and harder for you to save so you could move out of the shithole you called your hometown. You started your car and drove off, deciding to take the back roads instead of the main, considering you needed to let out some steam before you got home. It was dark, a little rainy and it was hard to see. Flipping on your high beams, you could now see the road much more clearly. As you were going to make a turn you suddenly see a dark grainy figure laying on the ground. Slamming on the brakes, you came to a close stop in front of it.

You jumped from out of your car, which normally you would never do because that’s how people are murdered or kidnapped, but from what you were scared it might have been someone dead. Approaching the figure slowly, you first yelled out to see if they would start moving. 

“Hey! Are you alright?” You yelled. 

You waited a few moments for a response. It was dead silent. All you could hear were the sounds of the night; crickets, drops of water, and your car engine. 

You took a few more steps, your heart ready to give out at any moment. Patting down your pockets you looked for your phone. When you found it you pulled it out from your back pocket and put on the flashlight. The light showed the shape of a large black wolf, panting, with a large wound on the back. You ran towards the wolf and placed your hand near their snout. 

“Oh my God... holy shit..” You whispered.

You took your plaid shirt off and wrapped it around the wound. The wolf was bigger than you had ever seen. It was probably about 2 feet taller than an average dog. Nonetheless, you were more worried about their well being. You placed one of it’s paws around your neck and proceeded to life the wolf, struggling to carry them to your car. Unfortunately, you weren’t the strongest, but you did your best and managed to get the wolf to your back seat, which they barely fit into. 

Once settled you jumped back into the drivers seat, your crop-top sweater now bloody, you tried wiping some of the blood on your hands to your shirt and jeans. Taking out your phone you quickly googled animal hospitals near you, hoping that there was one that open 24 hours, considering it was nearly midnight. You cursed under your breath, ‘the nearest one is fucking twenty miles away’, you thought. 

Starting your car you drove off trying to figure out what you could do. You couldn’t send them to the hospital, most doctors don’t know how to operate on animals, and also they are a lot bigger than most wolves, so you thought it would not be safe to drop them off there. You bit your thumb nail, trying to stay calm and figure what to do. You did know where the town’s veterinary clinic was, so you tried calling anyways. As it rang, you prayed the doctor would answer, hoping they might have still been inside.

“H-hello?” You heard a groggy voice answer.

“Hello! Hi, Dr. Vandyke! It’s [Y/N]! I am so sorry to call you this late and I’m sure the clinic is closed but it’s an emergency!” 

“Okay, okay, calm down... I understand.. What’s going on?” Dr. Vandyke’s voice still groggy, she sounded as if she was getting out of bed. 

“Uhh, well I was on my way home and I found this dog- well wolf,” You laughed nervously, “...and yeah it’s wounded really badly and I nee-”

“Got it. How far are you?” She answered sternly. Her voice sounded more professional now. 

“Uh... probably like five minutes?” 

“Great. See you in a bit.” She hung up.

Confused, yet grateful, you hit the gas and drove as fast as you could to the clinic. A few minutes later you pulled into the clinic. Outside stood Dr. Vandyke, and from what you could remember she had always been a very tall and stoic woman. She had bleach blonde hair, olive skin and sharp hazel eyes. She was wearing her doctors coat, some gloves and holding onto what looked to be a stretcher. There was another person next to her who you never seen before but you didn’t have time to question it. 

Hoping out of the car you quickly opened the back seat, seeing the blood now all over the seat. The wound bled through your shirt that you wrapped, and you were feeling sick, thinking of the worst. Dr. Vandyke and the other man pushed past you and placed the wolf on the stretcher. The wolf could barely fit, their legs hanging over almost touching the ground. You closed the door behind them and followed them into the clinic. As they entered they headed straight for the back and before you could follow them in the man stopped you. 

“Wait here.” He demanded. 

“O-Okay..” 

They went in and you could hear all sorts of sounds. You sat in the waiting room bench soaking wet, tired and bloody. You tried to figure out what compelled you to do all of this, and although you loved animals, you never thought you could ever go this far for one. Suddenly, the cost of this visit and the bills to come started daunting over you, even though you felt guilty for thinking it, it was going to be another bill you could not possibly pay. As you sat and waited, minutes turned into hours and you dozed off. 

“...I can’t believe him.. I told him to stay indoors especially tonight...” 

“Madam, I’m so sorry, next time I’ll be more careful in watching him...” 

You slowly opened your eyes after hearing the whispers, and when you finally regained consciousness you sprouted up from the bench. 

“Is the wolf okay? Are they okay?” You panicked. 

Dr. Vandyke shifted her glasses and placed a hand on your shoulder. 

“Yes, he’s alright.” She reassured. 

You let out a sigh of relief. 

“It was a good thing you brought him here... any longer and he’d have died,” 

You took a deep breath and sat back down. Looking at your jeans and shirt you rolled your eyes. 

“You can take a shower upstairs if you’d like,” She went on, “I don’t think you’d want to go to work like that.” 

You checked the time on your phone, and gasped. It was already 7 in the morning, and you had work at 10. You thanked her and followed the man upstairs. He gave you a towel and washcloth, you thanked him and got inside. It seemed that Dr. Vandyke lived upstairs, and was nice enough to let you use her shower. You stripped, looking in the mirror in disbelief how disheveled you were. Turning the hot water on in the shower, you recalled the earlier conversation that woke you up in the first place.

Why were they talking as if they had already known the wolf? You thought. You jumped into the shower and the warmth of the water hitting your body felt right. You were finally able to relax. When you were done you wrapped the towel around your body and opened the door. There stood before you what looked to be a beast, standing on two legs while eating an apple. You shrieked, slamming the door and slipping on the wet floor. 

“What the fuck was that!?” You screeched. 

Panting, you gripped onto your towel brighter. You heard a knock on the door. 

“I won’t hurt you...” you heard as the deep solemn voice heard behind the door. 

“Thank you for saving me last night,” You heard again, “I promise I won’t hurt you, I’ll leave...” 

You slowly got up, took a deep breath and opened the door to take a peak. The beast was gone, and you almost dashed out of the bathroom. Finding yourself in what looked to be the living you saw the beast again, this time sitting down- like a human on a white couch. You stood still. Your eyes kept trying to process what you were seeing. 

“Wha-what is going on...” You whispered, your eyes welling up. 

The more you looked at him, the more you noticed things you had not seen before. He had on your plaid shirt wrapped around his waist, a bandage around the same area of the wound of the wolf you found, and your brain putting two and two together figured it out. 

“You’re the... wolf...” 

The beast jumped up, wagging his tail and pointing his claws toward you.

“Yeah! Yeah! You saved me!” 

You flinched, trying not to get too close. 

“Why are you talking? And standing on two legs?” 

The beast stopped. He got on all fours like a wolf and sat up like a dog. You almost wanted to laugh but you were too confused to even process what you were seeing. 

“He’s a werewolf,” You heard from behind.

You spun around and it was Dr. Vandyke. 

“A what?” You asked in disbelief. “No... no way... isn’t that just an urban legend..” 

“No, he’s a werewolf and I’m his mother. I’m human by the way so don’t worry, I won’t eat you.” She joked. 

You smiled half-heartily at her dark joke, but you were naked and defenseless. This is obviously the part where they kill you for knowing a crazy secret like this. Backing away, you tried to find the nearest exit to escape. 

“He’s harmless- you don’t need to feel so restless. I have some clothes waiting for you,” She continued, “Ronan! Go get the young lady the clothes I laid out!” 

After hearing the command he perked up and ran towards the back and the whole apartment shook. A few moments later he came back with clothes in his mouth. Uneasy, you took a couple steps back and he placed them on floor, running back to the spot he was before. Picking them up while maintaining eye contact, you quickly dashed back to the bathroom and locked the door. 

Your heart beating quickly, you threw on the clothes and exited the bathroom what felt like seconds later. Dr. Vandyke now sitting on the couch and petting the werewolf, you asked if you could leave. 

“Why are you asking? It’s not like we’ll hold you hostage... just make sure you don’t tell anyone about this and we’re all good!” She smiled. 

You nodded furiously in agreement and ran out of the apartment, back downstairs to the clinic. You saw your keys and purse near the bench, quickly snatching them and headed towards the door. Diving into your car you started it and drove away. Your anxiety and blood pressure rising, you could no longer contain your emotions and started yelling as you drove away. 

•• ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ••                 •• ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ••

A couple of days passed, and you were in your apartment still in your bed, trying not to think about what conspired a few days ago. You took the day off, which you never do, but it was clear you were having trouble concentrating at work. While playing on your phone you got a call from one of your friends.

“Hey, [Y/N] what’s going on with you?” 

“Nothing... I’m good...” 

“Uh.. yeah right. That’s why you haven’t texted any of us in almost a week.” They snapped. 

You sighed and rolled your eyes. You got off the bed and headed towards the kitchen.

“I’m sorry for not calling you guys but I’ve been going through some things...” 

Just as you were going to turn into the kitchen you see a tall dark figure rummaging through your fridge. Shocked, you drop your phone from you hands and clasped your hands on your mouth. 

The figure reared it’s head and turned to you, let out a yelp and fell to the ground. Upon closer inspection it was the wolf from before, in your apartment, with a piece of old Chinese noodles hanging from his mouth. 

“Sorry, sorry...” The wolf spoke. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” You hissed. 

The wolf stood up, almost hitting his head on your ceiling. You flinched, and he went back to being on all fours like a regular wolf. 

“I came to apologize, and thank you for the other day...” 

You nodded.

“Okay, well you have to leave. I have a roommate and if they see you they’ll freak.” 

The wolf began to whimper, pointing his snout down to you and looking up at you with his puppy-dog eyes. You groaned, slamming the fridge door and motioning for him to follow you. You were still uneasy with his presence but it was clear he was not really a threat to you. Entering your room, the werewolf immediately pounced on top of your bed, only for you to instinctively yell ‘down boy!’. 

He listened and hopped off the bed and on the floor. You dusted off your bed and sat down as far apart from him as you could. 

“Okay, what do you need to say to me?” 

Positioning himself, he sat on his butt, his tail wagging and crossed his legs exactly like a human. He fiddled with his paws, which her as long as fingers with long sharp nails. The more you stared at him the more you saw more human like features. You wondered if he even had a human form. 

“Well... you saved my life... and I wanted to say thank you... although I did not expect to scare you...” 

“I-It’s okay... I’m glad you’re okay,” You answered reluctantly. 

Still fiddling with his claws, his tail stopped wagging he looked up at you directly in the eye. Your body stiffened, and you felt your heart beat faster. 

“I apologize, for damaging your car and shirt too...” 

You shook your head.

“It’s okay... Is that all?” 

He looked sad, and you felt bad. Everything in you was to be as scared as possible, but another part of you wanted to pet him as if he was like a real dog. 

“I’m sorry... actually do you want something to eat?” You asked hesitatingly. 

His face brightened up and he shot up, hitting his head on the ceiling. You let out a light chuckle and got up, telling him to stay put while you go cook.

“Ah, wait- before I go... can you eat human food?” 

He looked to be frowning and responded offended. 

“Of course I can eat human food! I’m half human, though I can’t eat chocolate but other than that-” 

This time you laughed harder, with your head all the way back. He looked at you perplexed but seemed amused by your amusement. You closed the door and started to cook. This seemed like the beginning of a weird friendship. 

#monster fucker #werewolves #werewolf #werewolf x human #werewolf x reader #monster bf #reader fic #mywork #fanfics #wips #fluff

[taylorswiftstan4ever]

Thursday, September 17, 2020

Hi Taylor,

So as my last ever ranking, I put together all of the rankings I did for your eight masterpiece studio albums, as well as songs you wrote for other artists, songs you were featured on, and songs that you released that were not on your studio albums. I omitted covers for the purpose of these rankings, even though your covers are always top-notch.

Some people are bound to disagree with my ranking, but it is based on my own preference during my current mood. In fact, some of the tracks are listed in different order here than they are in the studio album rankings simply because my rank changes depending on the moment. Anyway, this was definitely the hardest one so far and thankfully, the last. So here we go…

157. Half of My Heart - John Mayer **I'll be honest...I really like this song with your vocals, but since I can no longer listen to it without thinking about how the relationship behind it ended up, I put it last***

156. Christmas Must Be Something More

155. Girl at Home

154. How You Get the Girl

153. Untouchable

152. Sweeter Than Fiction

151. So It Goes...

150. Don’t Blame Me

149. You Are in Love

148. I Think He Knows

147. Highway Don't Care - Tim McGraw ***Love your vocals on this one***

146. ME!

145. SuperStar

144. Wonderland

143. It's Nice To Have A Friend

142. Only The Young

141. Beautiful Ghosts

140. Eyes Open

139. I’m Only Me When I’m With You

138. The Moment I Knew

137. Long Live

136. This Is We Can’t Have Nice Things

135. The Outside

134. Both of Us

133. London Boy

132. Innocent

131. Shake It Off

130. I Know Places

129. Ours

128. Come In With the Rain

127. The Other Side of the Door

126. Jump Then Fall

125. King of My Heart

124. ...Ready For It?

123. A Perfectly Good Heart

122. Cold as You

121. The Man

120. Welcome to New York

119. Mean

118. Stay Beautiful  

117. The Lucky One

116. Look What You Made Me Do

115. The Best Day

114. Mary’s Song (Oh My My My)

113. Out of The Woods

112. New Romantics

111. Breathe

110. Tell Me Why

109. You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home - Miley Cyrus ***I would love to hear you perform this to see what your take on it was when you wrote it***

108. Change

107. Come Back...Be Here

106. If This Was a Movie

105. This Is What You Came For- Rihanna ***I love Rihanna, but I also really love the videos of you performing this live and am so happy that you are finally getting the writing credit you deserve***

104. Holy Ground

103. Stay Stay Stay

102. Superman

101. Christmas Tree Farm

100. Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince

99. Treacherous

98. Sparks Fly

97. Never Grow Up

96. I Almost Do

95. All You Had To Do Was Stay

94. Haunted

93. False God

92. Better than Revenge

91. Fearless

90. I Forgot That You Existed

89. End Game

88. Our Song

87. Starlight

86. Tied Together with a Smile

85. Babe ��� Sugarland ***I LIVE for the concert videos of you performing it***

84. I Heart ? ***This song NEEDS to be on Spotify***

83. peace

82. the lakes

81. Safe & Sound

80. Sad Beautiful Tragic

79. State of Grace

78. The Last Time

77. I Don't Wanna Live Forever

76. A Place in the World

75. Red

74. Gorgeous

73. seven

72. epiphany

71. mirrorball

70. Paper Rings

69. I Wish You Would

68. Christmases When You Were Mine

67. You Need To Calm Down

66. The Story of Us

65. You’re Not Sorry

64. Invisible

63. Clean

62. illicit affairs

61. Style

60. Bad Blood

59. Call It What You Want

58. mad woman

57. the 1

56. Dress

55. Two Is Better Than One

54. Everything Has Changed

53. Dancing With Our Hands Tied

52. Beautiful Eyes

51. Enchanted

50. Daylight

49. Speak Now

48. Better Man - Little Big Town ***I usually listen to the version of you performing this at the Bluebird Cafe because I can hear how you envisioned it when you wrote it, but I still love LBT's version too***

47. the last great american dynasty

46. Hey Stephen

45. I Did Something Bad

44. hoax

43. The Way I Loved You

42. Best Days of Your Life - Kellie Pickler ***Love your vocals on this one***

41. Picture to Burn

40. I Knew You Were Trouble

39. Afterglow

38. Lover

37. august

36. cardigan

35. 22

34. Forever & Always

33. Mine

32. invisible string

31. Should’ve Said No

30. Today Was A Fairytale

29. Cruel Summer

28. Love Story

27. Cornelia Street

26. You Belong With Me

25. Dear John

24. this is me trying

23. Crazier

22. White Horse

21. Tim McGraw

20. Death By A Thousand Cuts

19. Wildest Dreams

18. The Archer

17. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

16. my tears ricochet

15. Delicate

14. Last Kiss

13. New Years Day

12. Begin Again

11. exile

10. Blank Space

9. betty

8. This Love

7. Getaway Car

6. Back To December

5. Teardrops on My Guitar

4. Fifteen

3. Ronan

2. Soon You’ll Get Better

1. All Too Well

Alright. Now that the rankings are done, I can start doing way less stressful posts haha As always I hope that you and your family are safe and healthy.

Sincerely,

Holly

@taylorswift

@taylornation

#taylor swift #taylornation #i love taylor swift

[spiltscribbles]

11 for pynch please and thank you! 💙

~Notes: TYSM sweets!!! I hope you enjoy this! A reblog is worth a thousand stars

.-

From this List  |  Send Me A Prompt

.-

Ronan wakes up unceremoniously on an ordinary Tuesday afternoon to the sound of muffled footsteps and clacking pans in the kitchen below.

No, not an ordinary Tuesday afternoon, not exactly. Not when Adam’s here, in the barns, with Ronan. It’s the first time in months that he’s been here for longer than a night or two at a time, and Ronan can hardly believe that the fall semester is finally over and he gets to actually stay here with no real time limit that makes everything feel like it’s entirely too fleeting.

Ronan feels his heart swell at the thought of finally having him here till at least mid January. Of them spending their second Christmas together as a couple, of getting to exchange champaign soaked kisses on New Year’s Ee, of just getting to exist in the domesticity of it all. 

He shuffles closer to the warmth of Adam’s conspicuously vacant side of the bed, plunges his head in the pillow that still smells like him— like lemons and sunlight and something distinctly Adam’s own, tries his best not to get lost in the memories of what they’d done only a few hours prior. Ronan lies there for a moment more, waits for Adam to exit the bathroom or come back from studying in the den (where Ronan had left him before taking a lazy midday nap). But the noise from downstairs is really getting at him. He knows full and well if he allows Opal to act like a complete heathen, with  this much noise now, that she’ll just take it and run. 

So with a long suffering sigh, Ronan rises from the warm duvet, slips on a pair of sweats and black tank before marching downstairs, a tongue lashing poised to pounce just as soon as he catches Opal making a muck of things…. The only problem is that once Ronan gets to the kitchen, it’s not Opal’s ratty old skullcap  and impish smile that greets him. 

Ronan is face to face with a child, a little boy to be exact. He’s got a mop of sandy blonde curls that nearly covers his deep set, blue eyes, and a dusting of freckles dotting the tops of his cheeks and nose. The child’s nothing more than skin and bones, at least fifteen pounds underweight. He’s trembling in what must be some sort of fear, the spout of a teapot in one hand and the rest of it in another. 

Though if Ronan’s being honest, he can’t really spare a single fuck over   that— his eyes are laser focussed on the too big, painfully familiar sweatshirt that he’s wearing— wearing is the wrong word, it’s more like he’s being swallowed up by it. It’s crimson colored and has got the word Harvard splayed out in large letters.

Ronan knows that sweater, had watched his boyfriend slink it back on only a bit ago before kissing Ronan and retreating back to look over his books and shit in the den.

Wholly fuck.

Ronan is definitely insane. He knows this. Ronan is insane which is literally the only reason why he’s even about to utter this name, but he needs to just get it out of the way. Speak it, confuse the kid, and then figure out what in actual hell is going on.

Ronan is fucking insane, which is why he’s opening his lips and actually speaking the name out loud.

“Adam.”

The kid shrinks back, eyes winced and shoulders clenched. 

“I—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it! I, I was just trying to get a glass of water and it slipped.”

It’s like Ronan feels it when his gut shrivels up and his chest plunges down to his stomach. He literally can’t process a thing.

“I’m sorry,” is all the kid says. No not kid… Adam. No, that’s still not right because if this was his Adam he would’ve just tossed it in the trash and probably buy Ronan a knew one— even if Ronan curses at him that he doesn’t need it. This Adam, this kid— he looks terrified— like he’d be punished for it. 

“Adam… Do you know who I am?”

The kids bottom lip starts to tremble, and their’s a distinct sheen  to his big eyes. 

Ronan feels helpless. 

“I’m so sorry, please don’t tell my dad, I didn’t mean it.”

Ronan doesn’t give himself the time to curse a thousand more deaths— painful and twisted— towards Robert Parrish, instead he just shakes off the steaming hot fury, and kneels down in front of the kid— of Adam.

Jesus fucking Christ what is his life.

“Hey, it’s fine, you’re okay.”

Ronan reaches out to cup his shoulder reassuringly, but Adam just shutters back, terrified. 

Okay fine, Ronan spares himself one curse.

“Where, where am I? Who are you?”

Ronan reminds himself that if this is truly a kid Adam that it’s far before they ever met. Of course he doesn’t know who the fuck Ronan is. It’s not Ronan’s fault, and Adam— his Adam— Will be back soon. His Adam had loved him, that just doesn’t go away. This is only temporary. 

God please let this only be temporary, Ronan can’t imagine it not. Can’t imagine finally having him and then forced to let go, to lose him in a new, cruel way. More inventive than the death of his parents, because this would mean that Ronan doesn’t have the right to mourn him, only what they had. He would have to watch Adam grow up and become a man and Ronan would be absolutely nothing to him.

A voice whispers in Ronan’s ear that he’s being a fucking selfish prick, that maybe this is a blessing, a second chance for Adam. A chance where he doesn’t have to grow up with fucking Robert and Claudia Parrish. That he could be safe and tended to and appreciated like he deserved by some new parents. He never has to know what it feels like to be taken over by some dream forest or discover one of your best friends is dead and another is destined to die a second time before actually coming to life. A chance that he could meet someone better than Ronan, someone on his level.

God damn it.

Ronan crinkles his fingers to a fist and keeps it to his side, looks straight into the kids eyes.

“I’m Ronan, I’m a friend.”

The kid frowns now, brows pinched and chin jut out. 

God, he is Adam isn’t he.

“A friend? The Parrishs don’t have any friends.”

“Sure you do, not your parents, but you do Adam. You’ve got friends.”

The kid’s eyes scan Ronan’s face, studying him for a tell. Ronan has no idea why he feels so unnerved.

“Did Mis Maguire tell then? Did they take me away from my parents like my ma said they would?”

Ronan doesn’t lie, so he just averts his gaze, gnaws on his bottom lip.

“Are they okay?”

“They’re fine kid.”

He purses his lips, spindly arms crossed against his chest.

“I’m scared. I don’t know you.”

“I know,” Ronan tries not sounding so utterly helpless. “But I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

“Okay…”

.-

“He smells like Adam,” Opal announces, blunt.

“I am Adam?” The kid replies from where he’s curled into a tiny little ball on the couch, eyeing Opal like she’s a completely new species— thank god she’s still got on her boots, Ronan can’t imagine the kid’s reaction to seeing a set of hooves on her.

By the time Ronan got him to change into some of Matthew’s old clothes, and had called Blue— demanding her to come over and bring whatever fucking voodoo books she and the witches of Fox Way study, Opal had come in from a day of exploring around the barns— mud splattered and preening, curious as all get out once she spotted him. 

“You’re too small,” she tells him, making Adam’s face go a furious red. 

“You’re barely taller than me!”

“Adam’s nearly as tall as Kerah,” Opal sniffs, head tilted imperiously.

“Who is Kerah!” 

Before Ronan is forced to get between that brawl, the doorbell mercifully rings.

“Ronan, I’ve missed you,” Gansey— as glimmering as always— greets while walking in, a stack of pizzas in one hand and the other used to give Ronan a one armed hug.

“We were having a movie night,” Blue informs him. “Considering it’s Adam’s first day back we thought you two were gonna spend at least a week catching up on lost time… Though that is unless your stamina isn’t up to par?”

Ronan bares his teeth at her and Blue just cackles ebulliently. 

“Speaking of which, where is our darling Henrietta prince?” Henry asks, setting down the soda on the coffee table and looking around the room confusedly. “Thought at the very least you two would be attached at the hips.”

“When I show you pricks, you can’t make a fucking deal out of it in front of him, got it.”

“Oo,” Henry beams. “Mysterious~”

“What did you do,” Gansey asks worriedly. 

“Fucking nothing— or something. I don’t know, just don’t make him frazzled.”

They chorus their agreement, and Ronan takes a deep breath before leading them into the other room, met by Adam and Opal arguing over something about Adam being too skinny— both pint-sized and loud as all hell. 

“Lynch what the actual fuck—“ Blue marvels, causing both Adam and Opal to swivel their gazes around to the foursome.

Adam’s face goes flushed at the sight of Blue, and Ronan kind of hates everything. 

“I brought more friends.”

Adam stays quiet, just nods at Ronan and focusses on how he can knot his fingers together. 

Gansey’s the first one to step up, crouching in front of him. Ronan would like to say it’s all because of his intellectual curiosity, but knows full and well that the slightly broken look to his features is the same sort that Ronan’s been sporting for the past hour.

“Adam?” he asks, adjusting his wireframe glasses with a nervous sort of tension. 

The kid nods.

“Seriously Lynch the fuck did you do?” Henry skewers him with a look, but Ronan can’t help but feel like he deserves it.

“Nothing! I’m telling you! One moment he’s leaving our bed to go study and the next, boom. I wake up and he’s, he’s—“

“I’m sorry, is the first thing Adam says in front of everyone, voice small and self deprecating. “If I’m being too much trouble, I can go home now. It’s okay.”

“Hey!” Ronan very nearly barks. “Don’t be ridiculous kid, I told you I’m gonna take care of you, right?”

Adam doesn’t answer, but Blue swats at his arm, glaring. “Chill, won’t you.”

“Figure this out!” Ronan counters, desperate. “Won’t you.”

aggrieved, Blue just rolls her eyes heavenwards   before taking a seat besides Adam.

“Hey hon,” she starts nice and slow. “You’re not any trouble at all. But can we just ask you a couple questions?”

Adam gives her a one armed shrug. “Sure thing.”

“God he’s so adorable,” Henry gushes. Ronan feels totally justified when he elbow checks him in the stomach, hard.

“Okay,” Blue smiles kindly. “So what’s the last thing you remember?” 

Adam starts shaking again, hands clenched tight.

“M—My dad, he was mad.” One of his hands inch towards his forearm, and Ronan hates the thought that there’s a mark there— a bruise. “B—But I don’t remember much of it, when he’s like that it’s helpful to think of other stuff, like school and the cookies Ms Edna down the street makes sometimes… It helps me not feel anything totally.”

Ronan feels fucking sick.

He wants to drive into Henrietta proper and beat that bastard to a pulp all over again. He wants to not stop either.

“Is that the last thing you remember?” Blue asks, voice equal parts sad and quiet. 

“I think I fell asleep, and then someone must’ve brung me here,” Adam says. “Was I s’pose to come?”

“Yes, positively Adam. You’re meant to be here,” Gansey tells him immediately.

Ronan wants to ensure Adam that he won’t ever have to go back to that place, but if this really is just a temporary blimp in the cosmos, that would be a lie. And Ronan could never lie to any version of Adam.

He thinks that Gansey and Blue feel much of the same way if the fraught look in their eyes is anything to go by.

“Gansey, Henry, why don’t you take Adam out to the back. Show him the cows and chickens and sheep.” Blue suggests in an obvious ploy to get to talk to Ronan alone. 

“I’ll show them the way,” Opal says, chest puffed out and marching ahead like a general leading her troops.

Ronan doesn’t miss the way Adam rolls his eyes at her.

“So what! The fuck is going on!” Ronan asks once they’re gone.

“I’m not sure,” Blue tells him, biting down on her lip and reaching for the large, dusty looking book she had brought. “He was fine after we separated when we got back from that eclectic shop in DC, right?”

“He was perfect.” Ronan sits besides her, tries to feel like his world isn’t tilting off orbit and speaks out loud the fear that’s been squirming in the back of his mind. “What if this is part of that circular time shit you witches are always talking about? Like Cabeswater and all that?”

Blue shakes her head, doubtless, and Ronan’s suddenly, acutely thankful that she’s here with him, figuring it out. Blue’s always a grounding presence, she cuts out all the crap and figures out the black and white of the situation, they’ve always been alike with that practice. “He’s still deaf in the left ear, I could tell by how much he was toying with it. And he’s still got that cut on his upper lip from—“ She doesn’t have to finish the sentence, they’re still all too raw from it, unable to think of those hellish hours even now. “So, ah, yeah. He hasn’t like switched places with his younger self, it’s more like he’s been transformed back to that state. Did he ever tell you how old he was?”

“Seven and a half,” Ronan answers mechanical. 

“Jesus, a small ass seven year old.”

Ronan doesn’t respond, and Blue swallows down the thickness in her throat.

“Okay, so he’s most likely only got the memories up to that age also.”

“Then what!” Ronan almost screams.

“I don’t know!” Blue actually does shout, and he can finally take in the wetness to her eyes and how she’s shaking so much that one of the sleeves of her sweater has slipped off to expose one brown shoulder. She’s just as scared and confused  as him, all of them are.

Ronan bows his head, a silent apology, and Blue nods her own, excepting it.

“You sure nothing weird happened?” Blue asks, and Ronan rattles his brain for any innocuous thing that might’ve caused this.

“No, no, we got home, fooled around a bit and then….”

“Okay, before that then.” Blue presses. “Nothing strange when we were in DC?”

“No,” Ronan repeats emphatically. “We stayed away from all that weird mojo killing shit like you said.”

“Are you sure!” Blue asks again, shrewd.

“Yes! We were just looking at the normal, drugstore shit they kept in the back.”

“What normal shit?” Blue wrinkles her nose at him, scathing. 

“I dunno,” Ronan toots. “Those cheep ass plastic stars you can stick on your ceiling, the ones that glow up. I told him how Niall had dreamt me and my brother up some that were literal consolations.”

“And what did Adam say to that?” Blue asks critically.

“I don’t fucking remember what he exactly said!” Ronan harrumphs, helpless.

“Ronan, please for the love of God, if you ever want our Adam back, stop being such an ass and figure it out!” Blue scolds, looking like she might literally fume— as if she were a Disney cartoon or some shit.

Suitably scolded, Ronan sifts through his memories of the morning. Of Adam’s radiant smile, and husky laugh, and the way the sunlight turned his pale brown hair tawny in the light of day. Ronan remembers feeling so inn love with him, and so utterly sad when Adam had just shrugged, blasé, when saying that Robert’s never done anything like that for him. That he’s never had any real childhood.

Ronan and Blue figure it out at the same exact moment.

“Oh fuck.” They chorus.

“Do you think that was enough?” 

“Probably!” Blue scrambles up, calls for Gansey to give her a ride back to Fox Way. “I told you guys that it wasn’t a place to screw around in!”

“How was I suppose to know!” Ronan shouts back.

Gansey races in, wearing one of Opal’s pink bows in his hair and eyes frantic.

“I’m gonna ask my mom and Calla if they have the shop owners number, maybe they’ll know what to do.”

“Um, yes, spot on. But darling what did you two figure out.”

“No time,” Ronan and Blue say in unison, both of them practically shoving him out the door.

“I’ll call if we figure anything out.

“Fucking hurry,” Ronan shouts after her.

.-

It’s been at least a quarter of an hour since Blue and Gansey had raced out, probably half way to Henrietta with how Gansey drives, and Ronan feels like their’s an itching squirming beneath his skin. He can’t sit down or do anything but compulsively check his phone, heart lodged in his throat and the memory of Adam’s— his Adam’s— thin lipped half grin directed at Ronan. Soft and splendid and glittering. 

Ronan has no idea how to keep that memory forever in his mind’s eye if it turns out he’ll never get to see that warmth directed at him again. Knows in his heart that he’ll never want to feel that same sort of devotion for anyone else, that he can’t ever feel anything akin to what he felt for Adam.

Speaking of which….

Ronan hear’s the backdoor open with a clack, and gets up to find the kid— sweaty and smiling in a way he knows in his heart he’s never smiled while in the trailer park.

“Hey kid.”

“Hi,” he blinks up at him, suddenly a bit reticent. “Opal and Henry are still in her tree house having a tea party, but I got thirsty for something real.”

Ronan quirks up his lip humorously. 

“The fridge’s water is filtered, let me get you a glass pipsqueak.”

Adam’s face glows ten fold just as Ronan hands it to him with a pack of cookies, (oatmeal and raisin the weirdos favorite.)

“Thank you Mr.”

Ronan can feel the blood drain out his face with how weird that is to hear.

“Ronan, just call me Ronan.”

Adam just shrugs with a nod, inhaling a third cookie, ravenous. Ronan offers to make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich too, reckons that he can at least start to get some meat on his frame. 

Adam nods giddily, probably accustomed not to be passing up food when it’s offered.

“So is this place all yours?” Adam asks, owlish. 

“My family’s, yeah,” Ronan tells him, pretends not to see the wistful look in his eyes. This place must be a fortress to him, who’s only ever known the doublewide. 

“It’s really great.”

“Thanks,” Ronan snorts, caps the jelly before tossing it back in the fridge and cuts up a banana next to the sandwich. 

“Where’s your family then?”

Yeah, Ronan supposes he should’ve seen that one coming.

“Ah, my parents aren’t around anymore,” he swallows down the thickness in his throat, concentrates on pouring a glass of milk.

“I’m sorry,” Adam says, nibbling on a fourth cookie.

“Don’t ruin your appetite kid,” Ronan reproves with no heat, sets the meal in front of him.

“So it’s just you in this huge castle?” Adam asks, feet kicking up and down in the air.

“Yeah, pretty much. My brothers are in the city, so it’s just me and Opal and…. Ah, my boyfriend.” Ronan isn’t sure why he says that, but is glad he did.

Adam is regarding him curiously now, big eyes peering up at Ronan while he takes a swig of the milk, and fingers tapping an unbalanced staccato on the counter top.

“Cool,” Adam says and Ronan feels a ridiculous amount of relief by. “I’m gonna live in a castle someday too.”

“Oh yeah?” Ronan smiles at him, elastic and charmed.

“Mmhmm, my dad’s gonna be so proud. Ma too.”

Ronan frowns now, heart sinking. 

“You don’t have to make them proud Adam, you’re great.”

Adam reddens, and Ronan slowly realizes that he’s probably never heard that from anyone before. So he repeats it. 

“You’re great kid.”

“Thanks,” Adam mumbles before stuffing another banana slice in his mouth, effectively cutting the conversation short. Already a pro at diversion. 

Ronan feels his phone buzz, sees a message from Blue.

Maggot: We figured it out

Maggot: Headed ur way rn with a cure

Ronan thanks God, Jesus, and the Wholly Ghost above.

.-

Adam races towards blue once she and Gansey walk in, and she kisses the top of his forehead, a ginger hand carding through his hair.

Ronan is not petty.

She sends him to get the final ingredients of the freaky spell, drink concoction that Calla had brewed, (a piece of his Adam’s clothing for the kid to wear while he’s asleep, and fucking Olive Oil of all things). And when Ronan gets back, Blue is preening and the kid isn’t looking straight at Ronan. 

They give him the drink to swallow and tell him to change before he’s off to sleep. 

Adam rubs his eyes with a yawn. 

“I don’t wanna go back to the doublewide,” he tells Ronan while they all tuck him into bed. 

“You won’t go back,” Ronan says with conviction, ruffled his  disheveled locks before picking him up and placing him in the center of Declan’s old bed— it felt to skeevy to put him in the one they ordinarily share as partners. 

It’s Henry who blankets him in and Gansey reads him an old fairytale from Aurora’s favorite storybook till he’s fast asleep. 

“He looks like such an angel,” Henry croons. 

“I know,” Blue beams.

“Get the fuck out before you wake him up too early!” Ronan gripes.

They all decide to just stay the night at the Barns, to ensure everything’s alright with Adam in the morning. 

“You know Lynch,” Blue preens like the cat that’s gotten into the cream. “You put a number on that kid.”

“Shut up,” Ronan huffs, passes over her cup of tea before pouring his own.

“It was so cute!” Blue insists. “When you were upstairs getting that old T-shirt, you should’ve heard him talk about you. Even admitted to me he had a little crush, asked if your boyfriend was just as pretty as you.”

Ronan’s heart does a stupid, hiccup, and he feels his skin burn red. Fuck his pale Irish ass.

“What did you tell’m?”

“I mean the truth, that your boyfriend is leagues ahead of you, but hey the kid wasn’t convinced.”

Ronan tosses her the bird, tries to tempt down the ridiculously gleeful grin that threatens to tear his face in half.

He must look like such a lune.

.-

Ronan wakes up the next day with the sensation of someone stepping on his diaphragm.

“Oh shit,” Adam— still sleep drunk and groggy, says apologetically. His tuffs of hair spread out every which way and delicious mouth set in a pout.

But it’s him.

It’s his Adam, beautiful and whole and there.

Ronan leaps off from where he was lying outside Declan’s door and crashes into him, squeezing Adam as close as physically possible— them pressed chest to chest and Ronan plunging his nose into the hallow of Adam’s long neck, taking him in completely.

“Ronan?” Adam asks deliriously.

“God fucking damn it Parrish, don’t ever leave again.”

“Where did I go?” Adam asks, confused, is surprised when Opal, from out of no where, pops up and takes him by the hand adoringly.

“You smell like Adam,” she grins.

“Erm, I am Adam?” 

#PYNCH #Adam Parrish #Ronan Lynch #The Raven Cycle #Spilled Ink #churlaloo #SPILT INK

[babypinkstyles94]

Cigarette

Cigarette

Duncan Shepherd x reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, fingering

Notes: Yes I had to re-upload this, there were some problems with it the first time. Duncan Shepherd at the MET gala because we all know he is a fashion hoe! I am really excited for you all to read this and threw in a little surprise :) so I hope you enjoy, I recommend listening to Cigarettes by Amir Obè and please let me know what you think or if you want to be tagged! Xx 

The MET Gala was the hottest and most important fashion event of the year, the biggest names in Hollywood all came out and walked the carpet dripping in millions of dollars. How you had gotten here and were standing on the baby pink carpet was still hard to wrap your head around. You had been invited as a plus one by your best friend, who was a stylist to many of the stars and you have been studying under her for a while. You were amongst some of the last people to arrive and as soon as you stepped foot on the carpet your eyes were blinded by the camera flashes.

Your dress fit like a glove and showed off every curve perfectly, expensive rings adorning your fingers, and a pair of heels that made your legs look miles long. Photographers shouted at you to look at them and you froze a couple of times at the flashes. As you walked up the steps you lost your balance a little bit but there was a hand on your waist to catch you. Looking over with a blush and a smile you meet a pair of bright blue eyes, dark purple eyeshadow surrounding them. His hair was messy with waves and the suit he wore made your mouth water, the sleek black pants making the white button down that was almost all the way unbuttoned look very professional. His jacket was the center piece of the whole look as it was cut to accentuate his waist and was a dark purple velvet lined with gold sequence and diamond jewels dripping throughout the whole jacket, a true piece of art work. You could see the heeled boots on his feet as he walked up the stairs past you, looking back every now and then at you.

Finishing off the carpet with a slight new confidence to you, you made it into the gala and grabbed a drink from the bar. Your friend had wondered off and you took your chance to take in the exhibits alone. Everything was beautiful and made your heart swell with each outfit in its glass case, you just wanted to run your fingers across all the different fabric. As other guests made their way through the halls where you were you said a small hello and even made friends with Saoirse Ronan whose dress you were absolutely in love with. A drink was brought to you by a waiter and just as you’d taken a step out of the way of another waiter, you almost slipped on none other than Cardib’s train of her dress. A strong arm wrapped around your waist before anything bad could happen and once again you were met with those blue eyes.

“Now I’m starting to think you keep tripping just so I can catch you.” He said with a smirk on his lips. A smug expression made its way onto his face as he noticed how flushed you became. “I’m sorry! I’m usually not this clumsy,” you let out a nervous laugh and felt his hand squeeze your hip.  “No worries darling I don’t mind catching you. Your dress is stunning by the way, wanted to tell you on the carpet but I could tell you wanted to get off the carpet as soon as possible.” He chuckled and you saw his gaze linger at your cleavage.

The two of you made eye contact and you shyly said “thank you” to him. His hand was still on your hip and your skin felt like it was on fire under his palm, it made your stomach clench every time he squeezed a little. “I’m Duncan by the way, Duncan Shepherd.” Your heart jumped at his name, of course he was one of the richest and hottest men from Washington. You knew who he was as you worked a lot with the brand he usually wore, even having been to a meeting where he was the client. You remember staying off to the side and developing a crush on him after he’d sent you a thank you note which he’d sent to everyone but not a lot of people did that for the people who worked behind the scenes on designing.

“I’m y/n…” His smug smile came back and he repeated your name, in that moment your brain had the thought of what it would sound like of him groaning your name as you had your lips wrapped around his cock.

Just as you were trying to get the filthy thoughts out of your head your best friend came down the hallway with her phone in hand. “There you are! Come on dinner is about to start and I hear Cher is preforming!!” She said giddy and started to pull you with her. “We’ll catch up some more later doll, just try not to trip anymore without me around…wouldn’t want someone else hands on you.” Duncan leaned in and placed a quick kiss to your cheek and squeezed once more at your hip.

Your friend gave you a knowing look and you just rolled your eyes at her, walking towards the ballroom where dinner was being held. The food was good and the entertainment was fabulous, pink feathers just about everywhere and drinks on the house. Your eyes searched for Duncan throughout the room and the glint of the diamonds on his jacket was what caught your eyes. He was bobbing his head to the music, a glass of what looked like whiskey in his hand and smile that showed off his teeth.

His eyes met yours as he looked your way; you hadn’t realized you were staring until he threw you a wink. The music suddenly got louder and the lights dimmed out almost all the way but you could still see the sparkle of Duncan, and he could still see you and was watching you intensely as you danced close to your friend. As the alcohol moved through you the more you loosened up from the nerves, you weren’t drunk by any means as you really didn’t need a headline about you the next morning.

Shawn Mendes approached you and put a hand on your shoulder, leaning in close as to talk about how much he loved your design that you worked on for your friends’ client. He wanted to set something up soon for you to work on some things with him, as he wasn’t too thrilled with his own stylist right now. It was completely flattering and you couldn’t help the beaming smile that spread across your face. Duncan caught your eyes and you noticed how tense his jaw was, his face scowling as he drained the glass of brown liquid at once.

Halfway through the night you’d decided to change dresses as it was getting hotter and kind of uncomfortable. This dress was shorter had crystals embellished in the cleavage of it, something that you hoped would catch Duncan’s eyes if you were being honest. As you came back into the ballroom there were pink cupcakes being passed around and you moaned as you took a bite of it. The frosting making its way onto your top lip and your fingers, unbeknownst to you Duncan was watching as you licked the top of your lip and stuck your fingers past them. He felt his cock twitch in his pants for the hundredth time tonight as he looked your way, he needed to get you alone soon or he was going to explode.

You finished up the cupcake and decided to go to the bathroom not quite liking the sticky feeling left from the frosting. Surprisingly the bathroom was empty as the majority of people had made their way to the next party or were busy dancing, which was a nice break from the chaos out there. As you were washing your hands under the warm water you heard the screech of the door open, looking up to smile at the person you froze.

“ ‘S a waste to wash that sweetness from your fingers darling.”

Duncan’s smirk made your heart skip a beat and you stopped your movements, the scald of the water bringing you back to earth. Duncan Shepherd had just walked into the restroom, presumably for you and had just called you darling for the second time in the hottest voice ever. “I- what are you doing in here?” You asked and he took a few steps closer until his hand was back to being wrapped around your waist, resting on your hip tightly. “Told you we’d catch up some more didn’t I? Seems like you’ve been busy talking to someone else though.” He whispered in your ear as your eyes met through the mirror.

“Sounds like you’ve been watching me Mr. Shepherd…” The confidence shot through you as you decided to follow his lead very much hoping it would go the way you were thinking about all night. Duncan let out a groan that was deep in his throat and his hands tighten on your hips, suddenly spinning you around. “Don’t think I haven’t seen you too. Your eyes staring at my chest and I even saw you staring at my hands, isn’t that right y/n.” It was true the moment you saw how his long fingers wrapped around the glass of whiskey you couldn’t help but think about them pressed into your mouth or better yet, three of them fucking your cunt.

His hand came up and gripped your chin, pulling your face back up to meet his and he licked at his lips. In that moment you threw every nerve out the window and smashed your lips to his. All that you could hear in the bathroom was the breathy noise you made as Duncan pulled back a little and the clatter of your heels on the floor as he moved you back against the wall. Fingers threading themselves through his hair and tugging as his hips thrust up into yours.

The two of you were breathing heavily as you pulled apart, Duncan’s eyes darker with lust and making their way to your breast as they heaved up and down. His mouth pressed against the base of your throat and he sucked a big bruise into the skin. He moved his hands to your dress straps paused, a whimpered please breaking past your throat. The cold air hit your nipples and they pebbled up which caused Duncan to let out a little chuckle. “Thought about sucking your tits all night and it seems the feelings mutual.” That stupid smirk catching his mouth as he sucked a nipple into his mouth and grasped the other in his hand.

As he switched sides the cold air hitting the spit that covered your nipple made it almost painful but as he wrapped his mouth around the other you squeezed your thighs together, which he noticed. You gripped at his hair tightly as moans escaped you, fingers moving to pull his face back up to yours. Duncan caught your lips and kissed you with so much fever behind it. He pulled away from you and grasped your hand in his bringing it up to his mouth and you pushed two fingers passed his mouth.

A gasp fell from you as he sucked on your fingers, his eyes never leaving your face. His cock was rock hard at this point and he had to thrust his bulge into you to get a bit of friction. Feeling bold you reached down and palmed his cock, smiling as you felt him shudder. You squeezed him a couple of times and enjoyed the way his moans vibrated your fingers. Suddenly his hand gripped onto your wrist and he pulled away from your fingers in his mouth.

“Mmm sweet but I bet your pussy is sweeter.”

Duncan dropped onto his knees and his hands ran up the length of your legs to the sides of your thong. “Is that ok? Me having a taste of your sweet cunt darling?” His voice was deep and you nodded yes to him before repeating it him with your voice. He pulled your thong down your legs and moved the dress up around your waist. When Duncan finally wrapped his lips around your clit it made you jump slightly, his slight stubble tickling at your thighs which you were praying left an ache to your skin to remind you of later.

“Duncan! P-please use your fingers!” As good as his mouth felt on you, you’d been dying to feel his fingers inside of you. Suddenly he pushed two into you with no warning and the stretch made you yell out. His fingers pumped in and out of you with a steady rhythm and he gave a moan of approval as you started rocking your hips against his mouth. The tight ball in your stomach was getting closer and closer to exploding, Duncan catching on as he felt your pussy clench his fingers and your hand tighten in his hair.

“OH god yes!” A third finger was added and almost immediately your orgasm hitting you hard, your fingers moving down and grabbing at the white shirt stretching across his broad shoulders tightly. Duncan lapped up all of your release until you had to push him away from the burn on your thighs and the sensitivity.

“ Been wanting to fuck you all night, my cocks been aching seeing you looking at me all night instead of all these other men trying to talk to you.”  His lips met yours once more and you could taste yourself on his tongue. “Then fuck me,” you whispered in his ear and gasped at his hard thrust into you. Your fingers nimbly unzipped his pants and pushed them to his thighs. “Don’t have a condom, fuck! Of course I don’t have one.” His forehead fell onto your shoulder and you whimpered, “It’s fine... I’m clean… I swear” and he nodded.

Grasping his cock into his hand, Duncan teased at your slit before pushing into you slowly. The way his cock stretched you sent shivers down your spine and you tried as hard as you could to bite back the yell you wanted to let out as he bottomed out. “Move Duncan please move.” He started to thrust into you harder and buried his face into your neck, groaning and nipping at the skin there.

“Oh fuck! Y/n you’re so fucking tight for me…thought my fingers would have stretched you out but fuck your pussy’s so tight.” Duncan knew he wasn’t going to last that long as he’d been leaking since dinner at the thought of this. Your mouth hung open and your eyes squeezed shut as he pounded into you, his hands most likely leaving marks on your waist from his grip. The second orgasm was fast approaching you as he kept up his pace, your moans getting louder and the feel of the vibrations of a song being played outside.

Duncan’s right hand pulled your leg up to wrap around his hip and the new angle had him hitting that spot inside of you perfectly. All that fell from your mouth was his name over and over again as your orgasm finally rocked through you. Lightning burst from behind your eyes and they snapped open at the command of your name from Duncan. “Wanna see those pretty eyes as you cum darling.” You were lost in his face, the dark purple makeup surrounding his blue eyes making them look so much more intense.

“Fuck I’m close, better tell me if you want me to come inside you or somewhere else. Don’t think your friend would like a cum stained dress.” He chuckled and squeezed his eyes shut for a second as you clenched around him again.

Pushing forward you kissed him deeply, teeth clashing for a second and you broke away to get on your knees. You took his cock into your mouth and sucked at him a few times before taking him as deep as you could. His hips thrusting forward with a deep rhythm, you could tell he was trying to not go to hard. You pulled off of him and pumped him with your hand a few times before saying, “cum for me Duncan, want to taste you.”

Duncan clenched his jaw and threw his head back muttering, ‘I’m gonna cum!’ as you took him into your mouth again. His cock twitched before you felt him release in your mouth, some of his cum dribbling past your lips. You swallowed his load and stood up straight, a little wobbly from being on your knees and his lips pressed to yours again. That sexy smug look was back on his face and he helped fix up your dress but stuffed your thong into his pocket, which he sent you a wink as you raised your eyebrows.

“A party favor, we should probably get back out there I’m sure someone’s looking for you.” His head pointed at your phone as the screen lit up.

As the two of you exited the bathroom together with Duncan’s hand on your waist again, he spoke up. “You have some cum on your lips there darling.” Just as you turned to look at him and wiped your finger along your lip sucking at the missed cum and moaning, you bumped into someone.

He looked startled obviously having heard Duncan’s remark and seen your response. Embarrassed you glared at Duncan and immediately could not look back at the strangers face as the man next to you zipped his pants up. The baby blue cowboy boots in front of you quickly walked away as the two of you made your way back to the ballroom. Duncan grabbed his jacket and draped it over your shoulders, the velvet just as soft as you’d thought.

“Let’s go back to my hotel darling; we can have some more privacy for you to yell my name louder.” That fucking smirk met your eyes again and you grabbed his hand following him out.

*Special thank you to @coollangdon for pushing me to write this and helping me with ideas, ilyyy* I lost my tag list but can remember a few lovely people off the top of my head and some people I hope don’t mind me tagging them, please let me know if you want to be added!

tagging: @americanhorrorstudies @langdonsoceaneyes @1-800-bitchcraft

@ghostiesbedroom @avesatanormalpeoplescareme @sojournmichael @langdonsdemon @ms-mead @langdvnshepherd @langdonsinferno

#duncan shepherd #duncan shepherd x reader #duncan shepherd smut #duncan shepherd blurb #michael langdon #michael langdon smut #michael langdon imagine #jim mason #duncan shepherd imagine

[davieslandon]

discord || Best Friend Cuddles

DISCORD THREAD FEATURING: Landon and @romanbeckett

MENTIONS: @jayceelynd @ellicfm

WHERE: Roman’s place

WHEN: after Roman got back home from the hospital 

DESCRIPTION: Landon texts Roman after he finds out Ro was admitted to the hospital and goes to visit him at his place.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: hospital mentions

ROMAN Roman was tired, but he’d managed to get some rest at the hospital. He was administered plenty of fluids, and ate some as well before he was allowed to leave. He felt so stupid for letting himself get to this point, feeling defeated as he sat up on the edge of the bed, Jay finally sleeping soundly beside him. She’d been through more than any of them lately it seemed, and he’d only made things even harder on her. At least she was able to catch up on some sleep now. Ro pulled on an old Rolling Stones T-shirt with his dark grey joggers, and then pulled on a beanie to hide his crazy hair. He looked cuddly though, rubbing his eyes like a sleepy baby when he opened the front door for Landon. “Hey.” He rasped with a smirk, leaning in to hug the smaller before even letting him inside.

LANDON Landon was completely exhausted but he knew he wouldn’t be able to rest until he saw for himself that Roman really was okay. Finding out he was admitted to hospital was yet another shock to the system and he needed to keep reminding himself that the other boy was home now so it had to mean everything was okay. He called Ellie to ask her to babysit Elle while he wasn’t home and tried not to feel too guilty that his daughter was spending more time with her babysitter lately than with him. His guilt was momentarily forgotten when Roman opened the door and pulled him in for a hug. He was okay, he was right in front of him and he was fine. “You scared the shit out of me”, he said, squeezing him tightly. “Don’t ever do that again.”

ROMAN Ro closed his eyes when Landon said he’d scared the shit out of him, squeezing him slightly in reassurance. “I know, I’m sorry. Come in.” He stepped aside to let the smaller inside of the house, making it a point to lock, and deadbolt the front door behind them out of habit. He was always super paranoid when it came to locking up the house, even though they lived in a gated community. “Do y’want anythin’ to drink?” Roman turned to look at Landon, still clearly feeling terrible about what had happened.

LANDON Landon felt a lot more relaxed now that he got a chance to see for himself that Ro was fine. Well, maybe not exactly fine since he did end up going to the hospital from stress but at least he was alive and well. “Um, sure. Some water would be good.” He kept glancing at the other, looking for any signs that he was still unwell but apart from looking tired, Ro looked fine. “You feeling any better?” He figured the least he could do was actually ask him instead of just trying to catch glances at him.

ROMAN Ro nodded, and then headed straight to the kitchen, expecting Landon to follow him. He scratched the back of his head underneath his beanie when the other asked if he was feeling any better, supposing he kind of did somewhat, though his head was still pounding. “Yeah.” He replied, not one to complain, or go into further detail. Ro retrieved a bottle of water from the fridge before turning to hand it to landon, then chose to lean back against the counter, and cross his arms. “How about you? How are you feeling?”

LANDON Classic Ro, asking about Landon when he was the one who ended in hospital. Knowing he wasn’t likely to get anything more out of him before he answered, Landon shrugged. “I’m good, feeling great.” In reality, Landon wasn’t doing so well. The stress of the past few days was slowly catching up on him and it felt like he couldn’t keep up. He was just so tired. It’s not as if he was about to say that to Roman though, especially not after what happened. The other boy already had more than enough on his plate without Landon adding more to it.

ROMAN Roman could tell that Landon was putting on a show, but he wasn’t going to pry further. Honestly? He was just glad to see the smaller, because he was his best friend, and fuck if he didn’t just really need his best friend now. Ro nodded soon after Landon had answered him, waiting for the right moment to just step forward, and hug him yet again. He buried his face in the other’s beck, deeply inhaling his scent as he tried not to cry, yet again. Landon had dealt with a crying Roman more than enough lately. “I feel like I’m going crazy, Landon.”

LANDON Landon hugged him back, running his hand through Roman’s hair like he knew he liked. It was hard seeing his best friend in this state but he knew it was to be expected with everything going on. Once again he felt guilt tugging at his stomach. Things started going to shit when he decided to stay in New York. Maybe going back to London would have been best for everybody’s sake but it was too late now and he needed to live with his decision. He just wished there was something he could do to make Ro feel better that didn’t involve staying out of his life. Because even though he knew the other’s life would be so much easier without him around, he didn’t think he could ever do that. They were too intertwined together.

ROMAN They stood like that for awhile, Roman clinging to landon like a massive dog on a child, feeling himself start to relax with the way landon was running his fingers through his hair. That always made him feel better, every damn time. He didn’t need landon to actually say anything, he just needed him to be there. Ro pulled back after probably way too long, his eyes and face clearly damp from a few tears. “I’m sorry. Do you wanna sit on the couch? Or, you don’t have to stay long. I know you’re probably tired.”

LANDON It was obvious Ronan was crying but he didn’t mention it. With everything going on lately, Landon would have been surprised if he wasn’t crying. “Yeah, let’s sit down”, he said, leading him over to the couch. “I can stay as long as you need, Ellie’s with Elle.” He almost made a joke on their similarity in name but he felt like he this wasn’t the tune to be making jokes. Instead he pulled Roman close, wrapping his arms around him and nuzzling his face in his neck. ROMAN “That’s a lot of Elle’s.” Roman made the joke for him, because if Landon wasn’t gonna point it out, then of course Ro was going to comment on it instead. That was his job. Kind of. Not really. Self proclaimed job. He couldn’t say he wasn’t relieved though when the smaller pulled him close, and nuzzled against him like he knew Ro needed. This wasn’t about sex, or romance, or any of that. Landon was his best friend, the person who knew him the absolute most, and sometimes, certain types of pain can only be eased by your best friend. “I love you, Landon. I’m sorry I’ve been such a shit friend, but I promise I’m gonna change that. I want to be better.” LANDON Landon huffed out a laugh, glad that Roman made the joke for him because it eased his worries that things might still be a little weird between them. If they were joking around as usual then things couldn't possibly be that bad...right? The other boy couldn't possibly know how much Landon needed to cuddle like this with his best friend right now. He needed the comfort of knowing someone he cared about so much was by his side. He needed not to feel so alone. Landon bit his lip over what Roman said. He wasn't going to cry, he wasn't going to cry. This wasn't about him. "You're not a shit friend", he said once he felt he could talk without his voice breaking. "You're Ro. Always there for me when I need you and never giving up on me."

ROMAN Roman closed his eyes when Landon said he wasn’t a shit friend, going on to say things he certainly didn’t have to say. Ro was the least deserving of being lifted up right now. In his mind, he recieved what was coming to him, and had been pending for a long time. You can’t be reckless in life, and expect no consequences. “I would never give you up.” He admitted quietly, squeezing his arms around the other male as a single tear slid down his cheek. This was his best mate, his first friend, his first everything. Their connection was rare, and more special than he felt he should be allowed to have. Why would he ever want to get rid of that?

LANDON Landon allowed himself a small smile at the other’s admission. He knew they were of the same opinion but it was nice to have it confirmed. Things weren’t easy for them right now but they’d gone through much worse and managed to come out on top so why couldn’t this be the same? They always said they could get through everything together. The silence between them wasn’t awkward, both having so much to think about but Landon finally broke it to ask, “Are you feeling a little better?” He really hoped this was working, even if just a little. Cuddling was all he could really offer to help out.

ROMAN Ro smirked when Landon asked if he was feeling better, surprised by just how much he felt better. Though, he had no idea why that surprised him at this point. “Much better. Thanks.” Roman squeezed his tiny friend, thankful that he was here, even if he didn’t feel he deserved it. “You always know how to make me feel better. That’s why I need to keep you around. I’m selfish.” He joked, though there was so much truth in that statement. LANDON “I think if everything that happened lately has taught us anything, it’s that we’re all a little selfish.” If he wasn’t, maybe Landon would have been able to let him go without causing so many problems. Although maybe that wasn’t completely true. Roman was so much more than an ex for him. He was his first real friend, his first love...his first time. Not letting go wasn’t just out of selfishness but out of a need to keep one of the most important people in his life close. Landon wasn’t sure what he would do without Ro. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

ROMAN Roman actually giggled a little at that, because maybe Landon had a point. But, still. It was in his nature to automatically obsess over his own part in things, because that’s the only bit he could control. Well. Kind of. Clearly he had less self control than he thought he did. Ro pulled back to look at the smaller when he said he was glad he was feeling better, a soft smirk on his lips before he decided to just lean in, and place an innocent kiss to the corner of Landon’s lips. It just felt natural to do so, so he did it, and then cupped the side of the boy’s neck. “I love you, Landon. Thank you.” LANDON Landon wasn't expecting the kiss but he didn't mind. He could tell it wasn't meant to be anything more than a friendly kiss between two people who cared so much about each other. His only worry was that Jaycee was sleeping upstairs and could wake up at any moment. The last thing he wanted was for her to get the wrong idea while he was in her home. "I love you too. You know I would do anything for you. I'm just sorry things turned so messy between us but I promise it's going to get better, okay?" ROMAN Ro just nodded, lifting a hand to tuck some hair behind his ear before looking down at the couch between them. It was such an odd feeling right now, stuck between falling back into their old dynamic, and realizing what they were now. Even after all this time, Ro still had a hard time putting a divider between himself, and someone he considered an extension of himself. “Yeah. It has to be, right?” His gaze flicked back up to Landon’s insanely blue eyes, a hint of a smirk on Roman’s lips once more. “You look tired. Go home and rest. I’m okay. I promise I’ll do better taking care of myself.”

LANDON Sometimes it felt like his brain was still stuck to when they were eighteen years old and he could make anything better with a nice make out session and maybe a quick round in bed. He needed to remind himself that time was long gone and he needed to focus on not ruining their friendship with all of that. They did it once already and the aftermath was not pretty. "Are you sure? I'm not that tired I swear. I can stick around if you're still not feeling good." Roman didn't have to know about his breakdown a few days before.

ROMAN Roman simply rubbed Landon’s cheek, and then sighed as he dropped his hand, and leaned back on the couch. That was the problem, he didn’t know what he wanted. He didn’t actually want Landon to leave, but he knew that was probably for the best. If he stayed around any longer while Ro was allowing himself to be vulnerable, he might do something he shouldn’t. “I’m sure. Honestly, i feel loads better since you’ve stopped by. I jus’ really fucking needed my bestmate. I always need you.”

LANDON Landon couldn't deny that he was a bit disappointed. He knew Elle was at home so he wasn't completely on his own but it was moments like this that made him miss living with an actual adult he could have a conversation with. Going home meant going back to feeling more lonely than ever but he knew, deep down, it wasn't a good idea to stay. Keeping their distance always got that much harder the longer they were around each other. "I'm just glad I could help out a little", he said, before getting up. "I'm here if you ever need me. I don't care what time it is, I'll be there."

ROMAN Roman nodded, because he fully believed Landon’s promise in that regardless of where he was, and the time, he would be right here if he needed him to be. That was just the way Landon was - he would do that for any of his friends, not just Ro. But still, he knew what they had was a little different, okay, a lot different. “I mean, I’m always up to kick your arse in a game of Mario Kart if you’d rather stick around.” He challenged with that stupid lopsided grin of his, the one that was extremely imperfect, yet perfect all at the same time. “If you think you can stay awake.” He teased the smaller, playfully reaching out to pinch his cheek. LANDON If there was one way of getting Landon into a competitive mood, it was by bringing up Mario Kart. He liked to call himself a pro and Roman loved to disagree and try and prove him wrong. It was just what he needed for him to stop feeling this bone aching tiredness he'd been dragging around with him since the pride party at throuple so he found himself nodding. "Oh, I can stay awake I just don't want to make you cry when I end up beating your arse over and over again with my mad Mario Kart skills."

#discord #best friend cuddles #c: roman #m: jaycee #m: ellie