Tumgik
#so we clearly think alike there
euphoricfilter · 6 months
Text
standing next to you:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing: dancer! jungkook x f. reader
genre: fluff || smut || non-idol au || strangers to somewhat lovers
summary: with all those eyes on him, he only had eyes for you
word count: 4k
tags/ warnings: infidelity (womp womp), m/c has a crusty rich old bitch of a husband, smut in the forms of: dom! jungkook, who is a little condescending (because we all know i like that), subby! reader, semi-public sex?, oral (fem. receiving), unprotected sex, the pull out method (womp womp), multiple orgasms, cum marking? jungkook has a dick piercing!!!! lets goooo!!!!
notes: yippee jungkook gave me another smut idea. kinda half edited so if there’s mistakes then no there isn’t <\3
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.
It couldn’t have been more than half a second, Jungkook’s eyes catching yours for the briefest moment as the spotlights dance over the crowd, what could have been mistaken for the galaxy reflected in your irises as you look at him.
The eyes that told a story of worship, how his mere existence was a crazed phenomenon your brain was barely able to process as you follow his body across the stage.
For months now, he would catch glimpses of you, always sat at the same table with the same people. Never once talking to them as your focus lays solely on him as he dances on stage.
Your face is soon veiled by one of his back-up dancers, flicker of a moment gone. Whatever was there, a short spark of interest simmering out as your face is no longer in his line of sight. Buzz of something a little more snapped, dissolving into fine dust under the orange hue of the light.
There was such innocent wonder in your eyes as your gaze flickers across the stage, entirely enamoured by what lay before you. The theatre nothing like you had ever seen before, ever so extravagant, and elegant. Male dancers dominating the stage, flowing as if they were dancing on ice, so free-spirited in the ways their bodies move.
Constant stimuli of such an event scratching the back of your mind—the way Jungkook moves enough for you to drown out the rest of the chatter behind you, your existence nothing to any of these people.
Your heart hammers in time with the base that tickles the bottom of your feet, broaches on the dancers’ jackets star-like as the spotlight finds its place back on stage, Jungkook’s face soon illuminated again. Face sculpted, a gift from the high heavens, a man that captures the hearts of many, man and woman alike.
He wonders if your eyes remain on him, bright with wonder as he glides across the stage, trying his hardest to find your eyes behind the harsh glare of the lights, sat ever so pretty, the prettiest little thing he’d ever seen.
It’s only when the lights dim does he see the hand on your thigh, silver band of a wedding ring sat one of the fingers.
Though you don’t seem to notice, entirely focused on the stage you don’t seem to realise when your husband squeezes your thigh, entirely unaware when he pushes his chair back to stand up. Ignorant to the fact that he saunters over to another woman a couple of tables behind where you’re sat.
Left alone in the company of your husband’s friends, who have no means to talk to you, nor acknowledge your existence. Because who would talk to the wife of the man who clearly has no care for what should be his lover? And as much as you pretend to not notice, never once asking why he gets home so late, or the messages that flash across the screen of his phone, never once have you brought it up.
Because that wasn’t your job. You weren’t there to care, to worry about who got your husband’s dick wet or who was stuffed full of his cum, who had it dripping down their legs when he re-emerges after you hadn’t seen him for what felt like hours. You were there to look pretty, and to smile at any man that gives you attention, nothing more and nothing less.
Jungkook thinks you must be the first to stand on your feet once the performance is over, eager in your applause. Too shy to meet his eyes from where he looks down at you from the stage, but not enough to not show your appreciation for his art. Glittery shimmer of the dim light illuminating you, stood centre of the room, awe reflected from your face as you quickly glance up to look at him before the curtain lowers.
So many minutes of your life stolen by him, perfect in the way his body moved, moments you never wish you get back because you wished to watch him dance forever.
Your eyes flit down to the sliver of stomach that peeks from beneath his blazer when he raises his arms at the applause.
You swallow at the deep rumble of his voice as he thanks the crowd, turning to thank the back-up dancers too before he’s facing you again, hint of a smile on his face as he takes one final bow. The curtains falling from the ceiling, your hair tickling your neck at the short gust of wind it produces.
It takes a moment for you to gather yourself, mind reeling as you glance around the room. Entirely isolated, even with hundreds of people surrounding you.
You can’t see where your husband had wandered off to, swallowing down any apprehension you have as you sit back down, fingers gentle as they pick up the flute of champagne—too expensive for your tastes, and you hate to think just how much it costs. Much rather having the host spend that sort of money on the reason for this evening than wowing guests with expensive alcohol and high-end food. Because surely the fund raiser would fare better with all that money than the pompous assholes that laughed in the face of the less fortunate.
You almost jump out of your seat when a heavy hand lands on your shoulder, eyes wide as your tilt your head upwards to see who it could be. Heart hammering when your eyes meet Jungkook’s, flickering across his face.
You swallow, “Hi” you breathe, turning your body to face him a little better.
The corners of Jungkook’s lips curl up into a smile, piercings catching the light, “What’s a pretty girl doing sitting alone?”
He pulls out an empty chair beside you, your head flickering across all the empty chairs around the table, wondering where all your husband’s friends had gone.
“Oh just…” you start, turning back to look at him, words dissolving on your tongue when your eyes meet his.
He raises an eyebrow, leaning back in the chair a little, legs spread wide. His eyes flicker down to the ring on your finger.
“I thought your performance earlier was amazing” you rush, hands running over your silk dress. Perfect change of conversation.
Jungkook leans a little closer to you, reaching across the table a little to grab your glass of champagne. Your eyes stay trained on his lips as they wrap around the rim of the glass, breath catching in the back of your throat as he downs the rest of your drink.
“I don’t think I ever caught your name?” he urges, eyes sharp as they flicker across your face.
“Y/n” you breathe, “and you are…”
“Jungkook” he holds out his hand for you to shake. You take it, toes curling, imaginary electric current slipping down your body at his gentle touch.
“I could show you backstage if you like?” he offers, hands smothering down the imaginary creases in his suit, nodding towards the stage, “It’s pretty nice back there”
You glance over your shoulder, eyes scanning the room for a moment before you’re looking back at Jungkook nodding, “I would like that” you murmur, taking his hand when he offers it to you. He tugs you a little closer to his side once you’ve stood up, linking your arm with his as he walks the both of you around the maze of tables.
Not once does it cross your mind that all the people in the room can see you clinging onto another man, eyes glued to the side of his face as you paint a picture of him in your mind. After so many months of watching him perform on stage, a perfect entity so far out of reach, he was not stood beside you. Warm flesh radiating underneath his suit jacket, scar on his cheek deepened from the overhead lights, calloused hand holding yours.
Someone that had felt entirely unhuman, so long of yearning, but there he was, touching you like it were nothing and he weren’t one of your dreams. Silly little fantasies of a man that should never be yours, dreams of what days would be like with someone like Jungkook. Dreams that should have never been yours to begin with, not while the slippery claws of the law tie you to another man.
Jungkook, ever the gentleman, helps you up the stairs backstage. Narrow hallway entirely empty as he flicks the light on, “It’s truly wonderful back here” he tells you, not letting go of your hand once.
You look around in awe, head turning to look over the outfits hung on clothes racks as you walk by.
“We can order food in my dressing room? I assume you haven’t eaten yet and I don’t think they plan to bring dinner out for a while longer” he tells you, pulling a set of keys out the front pocket of his jacket, opening the door with ease.
“I am a little hungry” you hum, stepping into the dressing room, sitting on one of the couches when he motions for you to make yourself comfortable.
Your eyes flicker towards the door when he locks it, apprehension clawing its way up your body.
“Jungkook…?” you ask, gaze never leaving the lock, even as he slinks towards you, long steps across the room having him in front of you in no time.
“You’re tense” he sits beside you, hand running down the length of your arm, “Let me fix that”
You don’t miss the dark haze in his eyes, cunt clenching at the mere thought of a man of his calibre wanting you in any sort of way.
You swallow, eyes glancing down at his lips then back up to his eyes, “We can’t” you whisper.
“Why’s that?” he murmurs, fingers training over your thighs, silk dress soft under his fingertips.
“Because…” you start, swallowing down a whimper when his fingers graze your warm skin.
“Because” he urges, teasing as he inches his fingers that little big higher.
“Because my—” you swallow, Jungkook’s scoff cutting you off.
“Because of your incompetent husband?”
You tongue wets your bottom lip, fingers clenching by your side, “Yes” your voice breathless.
“Leave him” Jungkook groans, hand tugging yours closer to him, slipping the wedding ring off your finger.
You watch as he holds it, prickle of guilt building within your chest at the fact you don’t feel bad in the slightest for what you want from Jungkook, nor the fact he holds a symbol of love and you can only wish for him to take it forever, no longer yours. No longer a burden you wish to carry.
He slips it into the pocket of his jacket, leaning forward enough for the tip of his nose to kiss yours, short huff of a breath slipping past his lips. He tilts his head a little, gentle hesitation tugging at his body; leeway for you to pull away and stop this whenever you want.
You let out a shaky breath, fingers curling into the collar of his jacket, tugging him towards you. A groan catches in the back of his throat when your lips collide with his, desperate need radiating from every pore of your electrified body—tongue prodding at his bottom lip.
“My darling” he breathes in the brief moment you part, though he wastes no time tilting your head backwards that little bit as he kisses you again.
You hum against his lips, eyes slipping shut as his hands wander the length of your body, thumbs digging into your hips, down the length of your thighs until he’s tugging at the hem of your dress.
Your pussy clenches as his fingers inch that little bit higher, moan caught by Jungkook as he ghosts over tender skin, pulling the fabric higher and higher until he’s brushing his knuckles over your panties. Damp beneath his fingers as he presses through your covered folds, your hips bucking upwards when he nudges your clit.
A breathy laugh is pulled from him as you rock forward a little, chasing the pleasure as he presses his thumb a little harder against your clit.
“Pretty girl” he murmurs, hand slipping from between your legs to tug at your dress, pulling it up and over your head.
Your arms fold over your bare chest, Jungkook’s tongue wetting his bottom lip as his eyes rake down the length of your body, fingers digging into the meat of your thighs.
“How beautiful” he says, bending down a little to press a gentle kiss over your collar bone. His hands leaving your thighs to tug your arms away from your chest, guttural groan vibrating from his chest.
You let out something similar to a squeak when he wraps his lips around one of your nipples, goosebumps prickling up the skin of your arms at the flash of pleasure that shoots down your spine as his teeth graze over the sensitive skin.
Slick leaks into your panties as your hand grazes over the evident erection that strains behind the expensive fabric of his pant, cock twitching beneath the tips of your fingers as you squeeze his length.
“Want you” he ruts his hip upwards into your hand, tongue flat over your tits before he sucks at your warm skin, red blossoming with every mean little nip of his teeth. Claim of your body as his, evidence of his lust and your leaking pleasure that pools between your legs.
“You have me” you breathe, fiddling with the button of his dress pants, stumbling over yourself a little as he helps you lay back on the couch. He tugs your panties down your thighs, bottom lip tucking between his teeth as he watches the string of arousal that connects the cotton to your sodden pussy, all puffy and pretty. Clit erect and desperate, moan slipping off your lips when he leans down to press a kiss to the swollen little nub, pocketing your panties in his jacket.
“Jungkook” you moan, fingers digging into his hair, pulling him further into your pussy, hips rolling up into his face as he lays his tongue flat for you to ride.
He tugs down his pants and underwear just under his straining cock as you use him to get yourself off, shameless in your own pleasure as he moans into your pussy—incoherent whisper of how good you taste drowned out by the slick sound of your folds parting, fingers prodding at your entrance before sinking between your walls.
You clench around the intrusion, fingers tightening their hold on Jungkook’s hair as you moan out his name, mind nothing but lust filled mush, pleasure coursing through every inch of your body as he sucks on your clit.
“Gonna cum” you moan, fingers tugging at your nipples. Hiccup of his name catching in your throat at a particularly hard suck, thick fingers curling right over your sweet spot.
He presses a second finger into your, incessant nudge against your insides sending you reeling over the edge. A cry falling from your lips as you reach your peak, hips still rutting up into Jungkook’s mouth as you ride your high.
“Good girl” he murmurs against your pussy, fingers slipping out of you so he can drink down your release. Tip of his tongue pressing past your entrance to take whatever your body has to give him, cum coated fingers pressing slightly over your still buzzing clit, fiery pleasure thrumming beneath your skin.
“S’ too much” you whine, pushing his head from between your legs, sheen of your arousal coating his mouth and chin shiny.
Your eyes flicker down when something shiny catches the light, and they widen slightly when you see his hand wrapped around his thick cock, thumb running over the king’s crown piercing.
“Oh” you murmur, pussy clenching at the prospect of him being inside of you.
Jungkook hums, fingers squeezing tighter around his length, “You like it, baby?”
You swallow, tongue running over your bottom lip.
You nod, legs falling open a little wider for him, “Want it” you mumble, fingers parting your folds, silent invitation for him to split you open, fuck and fill you until you’re nothing than a pile of pleasure.
“Yeah?” his lips curl at the corners, hint of a smile showing.
“Mhmm” you nod, and his eyes catch sight of your cunt clenching.
“What do we say when we want something, baby?” he urges, scooting between your legs, pressing his cockhead through your folds, watching your hips jolt at the gentle stimulation to your clit.
You arch your back, dribble of slick caught by the tip of his cock as he slicks his length up with your arousal.
“Please, Jungkook” you breathe, “Please I need you”
“So good for me” he groans, thumb pressing just under his piercing, pressing his cock into you.
Your mouth falls open into a silent moan, ache throbbing down your length as his cock splits you open.
“Good girl” he murmurs, stomach tensing when you clench around his cock, piercing dragging deliciously against your walls.
“So good” you moan, hands finding his hips to pull him further inside of you, desperate for every agonising inch he had.
He holds himself inside of you, pelvis flushed with the backs of your thighs as he helps you rest your legs around his waist.
“Yeah, you feel good, baby?” he leans down, lips pressing against your jaw, fingers sinking into the flesh of your hips, gently rutting his cock into you, “Better than your husband could ever make you feel, yeah?”
He lets out a breathy laugh when he feels you clench around his girth, thighs twitching at his words.
“Come on baby, tell me how much better I make you feel” he taunts, dragging an inch of his cock out of you, distressed whine tumbling past your lips as your pussy clenches, trying to pull his cock back into you.
“Tell me” one of his hands takes hold of your jaw, tugging your face so your eyes meet his, “Tell me”
“You make me feel better than he does” you mumble.
“Louder” he shakes your head a little.
“You make me feel better” you say a little louder, chest tightening.
“Than who?” he urges, thumb running over your bottom lip, pressing into your mouth and over your tongue.
“My husband” you slur, mouth tugged open by his thumb.
“And who do you belong to?”
You blink up at Jungkook, drool gathering in the corners of your lips, such a pretty little thing. Ever so messy and desperate, awfully cute if you asked Jungkook.
“Who?”
You swallow, pussy clenching, “You”
“Mmhmm” he hums, “that’s right, all mine”
You rut your hips upwards, clit dragging against his stomach, thrum of pleasure making your toes curl, eyes still trained on Jungkook as you try and get yourself off.
He tugs at the corner of your mouth, thumb pressing into your cheek, watching as the skin bulges. And he wonders briefly what you’d look like with his cock stuffed in your mouth, pretty eyes blinking up at him like they did when he performed on stage; like he held all the secrets to the world in the palms of his hands. Those same hands that would smother your body with his love, dimpling pretty skin and pulling you back onto his cock.
“Jungkook” you whine, hips rutting a little more desperately, so needy for a second orgasm.
“A needy little thing, that’s what you are” his lips curl into a smile, thumb falling from your mouth as his hips pull backwards, your thighs quivering at the drag of his piercing inside of you.
He pulls out until the tip, hands tugging your thighs open a little wider before he’s snapping back into you, relentless as he picks up his pace. He holds you by the backs of your knees, angling your body that little bit off the couch, cockhead pressing against your sweet spot with every rough jab back into you.
“Shit, that’s good” he groans, wet smack back into you echoing off the walls of the dressing room.
You moan a staccato of his name, nothing but how good his cock fills you up in your mind, so entirely full of Jungkook in every respect of the word.
He doesn’t slow down, rhythmic with every thrust back into you, pussy clenching as your fingers slide down the length of your body, pressing over your sensitive clit.
“I’m close” you moan, free hand dragging down the length of his arm, grabbing at the fabric of his suit as your back arches.
“Come for me, baby” he groans, “Make a mess of my cock”
Your hand slips from his arm, grabbing hold of your chest as you continue to flick your clit, moan catching in the back of your throat as you slip head first into your orgasm.
Jungkook watches your face contour in pleasure, snapping his cock into you sloppy. He twitches between your walls, fingers digging into you a little harder, staving off his orgasm for as long as he can while you ride out your high, mind so far gone, eyes glazed over as you look up at him.
“That’s it, baby” his voice is gruff, pressing his cock against your sweet spot, your hips jolting, pleasure slipping into odd tingly overstimulation as he ruts into you, your fingers still pressing over your clit.
Jungkook moans, cock slipping out of you, his hand quick to wrap around his length. Slick noise reverberating in your ears as he brings himself over the edge, angling his cock so his cum paints your stomach. Thick string of white coating your skin, spurts of it shooting out of his cock. His stomach tenses, eyes slipping shut as he squeezes his cockhead, final spurt of his seed slipping just over your clit, joining the wet mess of your cunt as it slips down your folds.
“That’s a good girl” he groans, letting go of his softening cock.
He looks at you down the length of his nose, watching as you smear his cum over your skin, absolutely fascinated as it clings to your fingers.
His cock stirs in interest when you dip your fingers into your mouth, tongue licking up his release.
“You little minx” he laughs, bringing your legs back down, bending to press a kiss to your cum stained lips.
Your eyes slip shut as he kisses you, any tension left in your body dissolving as his tongue licks up his own release from your lips.
“Leave him” Jungkook murmurs, mouth hovering over yours, eyes still closed as the both of you bask in your afterglow. Skin sweat tacky, cooling slowly as his fingers dance over your skin, final humming of pleasure beneath your skin fizzling away.
“I can’t” you breathe.
“Run away then” he says, “with me”
Your eyes slip open, hand holding Jungkook’s jaw.
“Jungkook” you warn.
“What?” he mumbles, eyes slipping open to meet your own, “We can go somewhere far, he won’t find you… he won’t find us”
You wet your bottom lip, mind reeling as you weigh out your options.
“He doesn’t love you” his thumb runs over your cheek.
“I know” you whisper, eyes flickering between his, “But do you?”
Jungkook swallows, “Not as much as I want to, but that doesn’t mean what I’m feeling isn’t love”
You glance over at the clock on the wall, bottom lip tucked between your teeth as silence stretches out between the both of you.
You let out a long sigh, “We have an hour at most… before he’ll come looking”
Jungkook can’t help the smile that tugs onto his lips, “Then we should get going?”
The corners of your own lips tug upwards, “Yes… I suppose we should” you say, taking the hand he offers to help you sit up.
“Don’t make me regret this” you warn him as you slip your dress over your head, cringing at the drying cum that clings to your skin.
“I won’t” he promises.
2K notes · View notes
batmanisagatewaydrug · 2 months
Text
I've recently been subjected to the first two X-Men movies and I literally cannot stop thinking about what a shitshow professor x's academy for mutant babies is as an actual school.
there's no way they're accredited, right? there are four teachers (three post-X2, RIP) and three of them were raised by the fourth. you clearly don't need any actual teaching credentials to work there other than a mutation and nepotism. I don't believe any of these people have a degree in the subjects they're teaching, let alone in education or human development. there appears to be a total lack of counseling services available, despite the fact that most of the student body are apparently runaways who all face heavy society discrimination. did Rogue get any support after she was kidnapped and almost killed by Magneto in the first movie or did Xavier just give her brain zappies until she was functional again.
there's no way in hell a "diploma" from the charles xavier institute for genetically anomalous youth is worth anything on a college application. do all of these kids end up having to get a GED if they want to have a prayer of accessing higher education? do they receive any support for that?
also did I mention there are four adults in this entire school. in X2 they all take off on the same night and leave the kids in the care of Logan, a famously unstable man who freaked out and stabbed a student last time he visited. it would have been lethal if it was anyone but Rogue. also in X2 half the student body has to flee in the night in their pajamas with no one to take care of them but a teenage Colossus and the adults just. do not feel the need to follow up on that. because they're busy dealing with the stupid plot du jour.
the entire setup seems like a massive lawsuit waiting to happen; while we the audience obviously know that there's nothing malicious happening to the kids (except for mutant terrorists and trained mercenaries alike regularly infiltrating the school) you have to admit that an unlicensed group home for children, some of whom are very young, masquerading as a school and staffed entirely by people with no real credentials to speak of is a pretty bad look. I think genuinely any parent would have a pretty strong case for a lawsuit here and it wouldn't even necessarily be mutantphobic of them to do it, although of course anyone with an anti-mutant agenda could have a field day here. genuinely I have to assume that the only way they've avoided it this long is Xavier lobotomizing anyone who tries it, which is so cool and normal.
933 notes · View notes
wilwheaton · 10 months
Text
When you watch The Curse, you are watching two children who were abused and exploited daily during production. No adults protected us.
This was originally published on my blog in August, 2022.
I had a wonderful time at Steel City Comicon this weekend. It was my first time at this particular con, so I didn’t know there was such a huge contingent of horror fans, creators, and vendors who attend.
I love horror, and I was pretty psyched to be in the same place as John Carpenter and Tom Savini, across the street from the Dawn of the Dead mall. Pittsburgh feels like one of the places horror was invented, at least to me.
A number of these horror fans came to see me, and asked me to sign posters and other things from a movie my parents forced me to do when I was 13, called The Curse. I had to tell each of these people that I would not sign anything associated with that movie, because I was abused and exploited during production. The time I spent on that film remains the most traumatizing time of my life, and though I am a 50 year-old man, just typing this now makes my hands shake with remembered fear of a 13 year-old boy who nobody protected, and the absolute fury the 50 year-old man feels toward the people who hurt him.
I told this story in Still Just A Geek, and I’ve talked about it in some podcasts I did on the promo tour, but I’ve never put it out in public like this, in its entirety.
I suspect someone at the publisher would prefer I tease this and hope it drives book sales from people who want to read all of it, but I honestly don’t want to have another weekend like this one where everything is awesome, except the few times people who have no idea (and why should they) put that fucking poster in front of me, and all the fear, abandonment, and trauma come flooding back as I tell them that I won’t sign it, and why.
To their credit, each person was as horrified as they should have been, told me they had no idea (if they didn’t read my book why would they), and quickly put the poster away. They were all understanding. I am grateful for that.
But I really don’t need to tell this story over and over again, so here it is, with a child abuse and exploitation content warning, so I can just tell people to Google it.
After Stand by Me, everything changed. The attention from entertainment journalists, casting directors, and especially teen magazines came pouring in. The movie was a generational hit, beloved by critics and audiences alike, and every single one of us could pick anything to do next.
River’s parents and his agent got him Mosquito Coast, with Harrison Ford, as his next movie. I also auditioned for the role, but I knew even then that River was going to book the job. He was perfect, and I’d have to wait a little bit for my opportunity to come along.
I went on a lot of theatrical auditions after Stand by Me. I had tons of meetings with directors and the heads of casting at every major studio. It was all a very big deal, and I felt like we were all looking for something really special and amazing as my follow-up to Stand by Me.
At some point, a couple of producers contacted my agent with an offer to play one of the leads in an adaptation of H. P. Lovecraft’s “The Colour Out of Space.” The script was titled The Farm. (It would, of course, be changed when the film was released).
I read it. I did not like it. It was a shitty horror movie, and I saw that right away. It was the sort of thing you rented on Friday when the new release you wanted was already out of the store.
My mother, already an incredibly manipulative person, used every tool at her disposal to change my mind. My father threatened me, mocked me, told me “It’s your decision” when it clearly wasn’t. It was all so weird; I didn’t understand why they cared so much.
I told my parents I didn’t like it and didn’t want to do it. I clearly recall thinking it was a piece of shit that would hurt my career.
It wasn’t the first thing that had come our way that I wanted to pass on, and every other time, it hadn’t been a very big deal.
Sidebar: I was cast in Twilight Zone: The Movie, in 1983. The film tells four stories, and I was cast as the kid who can wish people into cartoonland. It was a GREAT role, in a movie I still love. (Note that Twilight Zone had four directors. One of them got three people killed. The segment I was cast in was not that one. I mention this because too many people zero in on this to deflect from what this whole thing is actually about.)
But I was CONVINCED by my parochial school teacher that if I worked on The Twilight Zone, which she had determined was satanic, I would go to hell. (This woman and her bullshit played a big role in my conversion to atheism at a young age, but when she told me that, I was all-in on the supernatural story they taught us in religion class.) I was so scared, more scared than I’d ever been to that point in my life, I cried and wailed and begged my parents to not make me do the movie. And I never told them why, because I was afraid my dad would laugh at me for being weak and afraid. My agent tried to talk me into it, and I wouldn’t budge. It’s the only thing I deeply and truly regret passing on, and I really hate I made that choice for such a stupid reason.
Okay. Back to The Curse.
This time, when I told them how much I hated it, they wouldn’t listen to me. My mother, already an incredibly manipulative person, used every tool at her disposal to change my mind. My father threatened me, mocked me, told me “It’s your decision” when it clearly wasn’t. It was all so weird; I didn’t understand why they cared so much.
That is, until they made me take a meeting with the producers of the movie, in their giant conference room on the top floor of a tall building in Hollywood. All I remember about this place was that it was huge; the table was way too big for the five of us who spread around it, and there were floor-to-ceiling windows on three of the walls, but the room was still dark. There was a weird optical illusion in the center of the table, this thing they sold in the Sharper Image catalog, made from two reflective dishes with a hole in the top of one. You placed an object in the bottom of the bottom dish, and it made it look like that object was floating above the whole thing. They had a plastic spider in it. What a strange detail for me to remember, but it’s as clear in my memory as if I were sitting in that room right now.
One man, who I presumed was the executive producer, was European or Middle Eastern (I didn’t know the difference then, he was just Not Like People I Knew), and I was instantly afraid of him. He was intimidating, and seemed like a person who got what he wanted.
So we sat there, my father who didn’t give a shit about me, my mother who was cosplaying as someone with experience, and me, thirteen years old, awkward as fuck, and scared to death.
I don’t remember what they said to me in their pitch or anything other than how uncomfortable and anxious I was to even be in that room. I tried so hard to be grown up and mature, but I — and my parents — was way out of my depth. I’d done one big movie and that was it. We didn’t have my agent with us, who had lots of experience and would have known what questions to ask.
No, in place of my experienced agent, my mother had decided she was going to be my manager, and she tackled the responsibility with an enthusiasm that was only matched by her absolute incompetence and inability to go toe-to-toe with producers the way my agent did. She was outwitted, out-thought, and outmaneuvered at every turn.
“You don’t have a choice,” my father commanded. “You are doing this movie.”
So we sat there, my father who didn’t give a shit about me, my mother who was cosplaying as someone with experience, and me, thirteen years old, awkward as fuck, and scared to death.
At some point, this man, who is represented in my memory by big Jim Jones sunglasses under dark hair above an open collar, said, “We are offering you a hundred thousand dollars and round-trip travel for your whole family. We will cast your sister, Amy, to play your sister in the movie.”
It all made sense, now. I was only thirteen, but I knew my parents were pushing me so hard because this company was offering me — them, really — more money than I’d ever imagined I’d earn in my life, much less a single job.
I knew that the right thing to do, the smart thing to do, was to say no. There would be other opportunities, and it was stupid to cash myself out of feature films for what I thought was, in the grand scheme of things, not very much money.
It’s incredible to me that I knew all of this. It’s incredible to me that I could see all these things, plainly and clearly, and my parents couldn’t (or, more likely, chose not to).
So after this man made his offer, all the adults in the room ganged up on me, selling me HARD on this movie.
My mother said, “Don’t you want your sister to have the same opportunities you’ve had? Wouldn’t it be fun and exciting to go to Rome? Think of all the history!”
The experience was awful. It was the worst experience I have ever had on a set in my life, by every single metric. The movie is awful, and it is the embarrassment I knew it would be.
I don’t think about this very often, because it’s super upsetting to me. Right now, I’m so angry at my parents for subjecting me and my sister to this entire experience. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
In that moment, I felt bullied and trapped. All these adults were talking to me at the same time, and I just wanted it to stop. I just wanted to go home and get out of this room. I just wanted to go be a kid, so I did what I’d learned to do to survive: I gave in and did what my parents wanted.
The experience was awful. It was the worst experience I have ever had on a set in my life, by every single metric. The movie is awful, and it is the embarrassment I knew it would be.
But here’s the thing: when you watch The Curse, you are watching two children, me and my sister, who were abused on a daily basis. The production did not follow a single labor law. They worked us for twelve hours a day, on multiple film units (while I work on First unit, second unit sets up and waits for me. When I should get a break to rest, they send me to Second unit, then to Third unit, then back to First unit. I was 13.) without any breaks, five days a week. I was exhausted the entire time. I was inappropriately touched by two different adults during production. I knew it was wrong, but I was so scared and ashamed, and I felt so unsupported, I didn’t tell anyone. I knew my dad wouldn’t believe me, and my mother would blame me. Anything to keep the production happy, that’s what she did. That was more important to her than the health and safety of her children. The director was coked out of his mind most of the time, incompetent, and so busy fucking or trying to fuck one of the women in the cast, he was worse than useless. He was a fading actor who was cosplaying as a director, as in over his head as my mother. My sister and I were never safe. Instead of harmless atmospheric SFX smoke, they set hay on fire in barrels and blew actual smoke onto the set. They took buckets of talc, broken wood, bits of wallpaper and plaster, and threw it into my face during a scene inside the collapsing house. My sister is in a scene where she goes to get eggs from some chickens, and they attack her. So they hired Lucio Fulci, the Italian horror master, to direct her sequence. His idea, which everyone was totally on board with, was to throw chickens at my sister. Live chickens, live roosters, live birds. Just throw them at a nine-year-old girl. Oh, and then tie them to her arms and legs so they’ll peck her. All of this happened under my mother’s observation, and with her full participation.
Everything I need to know about who my parents are is wrapped up in that experience: the total lack of concern for my safety and happiness, treating me like an asset instead of a son, lying to me, manipulating me, and using me to get things they wanted, and then gaslighting me about it.
If just ONE of the things I can remember happened to someone I loved, I would have grabbed my kids, gone to the airport, and flown home. Fuck those abusive assholes in the production. Let the lawyers sort it all out. Nobody hurts my children and gets away with it.
My mom says she “had some talks” with the producers. She claims that, once, she wouldn’t let us leave the hotel. (God, what a fucking dump that place was. It was just slightly better than a hostel.) I have no memory of that, but honestly the entire experience was so traumatic, I’ve blocked most of it out.
The movie was the commercial and critical failure I knew it would be. My parents spent the money. I don’t know what they spent it on. I got to keep fifteen cents of every dollar, so . . . yay?
My sister and I hardly ever talk about this. I suspect it was as upsetting and traumatic for her as it was for me. I told her I was writing about it, and asked her if she remembered anything. She told me she’d been lied to her whole life about this movie. Our mother let her believe she had been cast on the strength of her audition. “I was excited to work with you,” she said. She reminded me about some stuff I’d blocked out, including a scene where my character’s older brother (played by an actor named Malcolm Danare, who was kind and gentle, and made both of us feel safer when he was around) shoves my character into a pile of cow shit. When it came time to shoot the scene, the mud they’d put together to be the cow shit looked an awful lot like cow shit. When Malcolm pushed me into it, we all found out it was real cow shit. I was FURIOUS. The director had lied to me and had allowed me to have my entire body shoved into an actual pile of actual cow shit. I don’t remember what I said, but I remember he treated me the exact same way my father did whenever I got upset: he laughed at me, told me I was being too sensitive, reminded me that he was the director and he wanted to get a “real” performance out of me, and concluded, “If it bothers you so much, we’ll get you a hepatitis shot,” before he walked away.
My sister also recalled that, after she survived the scene with the chickens, it was the producers’ idea to give her one as a pet.
Okay, let’s unpack that for a quick second: you’ve been traumatized by these birds, so we’re going to give you one as a pet. That you’ll somehow keep in your hotel, and then will somehow get back to America. It will shock you to learn that neither of those things happened.
She remembered, as I do, the huge fight I had with my parents in our kitchen, where I told them I hated the script and I hated the movie. I didn’t want to do it, and I hated that they were making me do it.
“You don’t have a choice,” my father commanded. “You are doing this movie.”
“This is the only film you are being offered,” my mother lied to me. She made me feel like, if I didn’t do this movie, I would never do another movie again in my life. I had to do this movie. As my father bellowed, I had no choice.
Both of my parents denied this argument ever happened. Can I tell you how reassuring it is to know that my sister, who was also there, remembers it the same way I do?
The makeup department decided they would literally cut my little sister’s face with a scalpel, in three places, and put bandages over them.
But one thing she told me, the thing I did not know, the thing that makes me so angry I want to break things, actually managed to make the entire experience even worse than I remembered it.
There’s a scene after her chicken incident where I check up on her in her bedroom. She’s got cuts and bruises, and I guess we talk about it. I don’t remember and I can’t watch the movie because I’m terrified it will give me a PTSD flashback (I’ve had one of those and I recommend avoiding it). Here’s the thing about that scene: she has some cuts on her face, and those cuts are real. They are not makeup.
I’m going to repeat that. My nine-year-old little sister had actual cuts on her face that were placed there by an adult, on purpose.
The makeup department decided they would literally cut my little sister’s face with a scalpel, in three places, and put bandages over them. My sister told me our mother wasn’t in the makeup room when this happened — honestly, it seemed like our mother was strangely and conveniently absent when most of the really terrible things happened to us on the set — and when my sister told her what they’d done, she “lost her shit” at the production. She was pissed, I guess, which is appropriate and surprising. I wonder what would have to have happened for her to put us on a plane and get us home to safety? I mean, her son being abused daily didn’t do it, and her daughter being CUT IN THE FACE ON PURPOSE didn’t do it.
I just . . . I can’t. I can’t understand or comprehend allowing your own children to be physically and emotionally abused. They were literally selling my sister and me to these people, like we were some kind of commodity.
This was a tough conversation. My sister’s experience with our parents is very different from mine. My sister and I love each other. We’re close. I know it’s hard for her to hear that her brother, who she loves, was so abused by her parents, who she also loves. I was really grateful she made the time to talk to me about it, and grateful the experience wasn’t as horrible for her as it was for me.
As we were finishing our call, Amy also remembered one man, a young Italian named Luka, who was our driver for the movie. I haven’t thought about him in thirty years, but I can see his face now. He was kind, he was friendly, he taught us how to kick a soccer ball, and in the middle of an abusive, torturous experience, he stood out as a kind and gentle man. I mention him because she remembered him, which made me remember him, and goddammit I want at least one small part of this thing to not be awful.
The Curse remains one of the most consequential times the adults in my life failed to protect me. I’m 50. I still have nightmares.
Ultimately, as I predicted and feared, this piece of shit movie cashed me out of respectable films forever. I got offers for movies, but they were always mindless comedies or exploitative horror films. They were never the serious dramas I wanted to work in after Stand by Me. The industry looked at me and River, wondering if one or both of us would become a breakout star. They quickly saw that River was doing real acting work, and I was in this piece of shit. For River, Stand by Me was a beginning. For me, it would turn out to be pretty much everything, at least as far as film goes.
There are thousands of reasons film careers do and don’t take off. Maybe mine wouldn’t have taken off anyway. Clearly, it’s not where my life ended up, and I’m super okay with that now. But when all of this happened, it hurt and haunted me.
The Curse remains one of the most consequential times the adults in my life failed to protect me. I’m 50. I still have nightmares. Everything I need to know about who my parents are is wrapped up in that experience: the total lack of concern for my safety and happiness, treating me like an asset instead of a son, lying to me, manipulating me, and using me to get things they wanted, and then gaslighting me about it.
This annotation is the last thing I wrote before I turned this manuscript in, because opening these wounds is hard and painful. I put it off as long as I could, and I feel like I’m still holding back, because just this small glimpse of the experience has taken me a week to write. I can’t imagine trying to go back and unpack the whole thing. (Note that is not in the book: I’ve made an EMDR appointment to work on this because the nightmares have come back after the weekend).
Fuck The Curse, and fuck every single person who exploited and hurt two beautiful children to make it. You all participated in child abuse, and you all knew better. Shame on all of you. I hope this follows you to the end of your life. I hope that living with what you did to innocent children has been as hard for you as it has been for me, because you deserve no less.
2K notes · View notes
stuffeddeer · 4 months
Note
imagine mistaking beastzai as your usual dazai (you thought he wanted to be emo for a day) and like did usual silly cute things with him then dazai came home and he’s like HUH WHO IS THIS GUY R U CHEATING ON ME :(( but in the end you have… double boyfriends but one’s moody and one’s fucking annoying
Tumblr media
anons that think alike omg telepathy … use ur powers for good!!! two asks in one btw i feel so productive
alsooo beast!dazai would be giddy like a child to be in the main tl w his love… he’d be twirling you around and enjoying what could’ve been before he has to go back!!! all dazais are cringy and in love w u it's true they told me themselves !!!!
“What’s with the outfit?” You spoke bluntly, clearly a little put off by the reappearance of the black coat and red scarf. “Dude, you look like Mori.” Harsh, sure, but your boyfriend worked so hard to walk alongside you in the light, so the last thing you wanted was to see what would’ve been, if not for — 
Dazai smiled, seemingly amused. “Ah, love, it’s merely a costume. Thought you’d get a kick out of it,” he replies easily, pulling off the long red scarf: a staple of the Port Mafia’s boss.
His words help to relax you, letting out a small sigh as you push the coat off of his shoulders. “Let me grab you your coat, I know it’s around here somewhere…” You flittered about your shared apartment, pulling a backup brown coat from its spot buried underneath your closet. “This better suits you,” you speak under your breath as Dazai pulls it on. The fit seems a little… different. Is it somehow looser than normal? You frown.
“Thank you, love,” he repeated the same pet name. It felt as though he missed saying it, which doesn’t quite make sense.
You choose not to dwell on it — maybe seeing him in black again just rewired your brain for a moment. He’s alive and well in front of you and nothing else matters. A nod is all the reply Dazai gets before you slip on your shoes.
“I thought you might have headed to work early when I didn’t see you in bed this morning, but I guess that’s my fault for assuming the impossible,” you decide to tease.
Dazai easily slips behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin against your shoulder. “Mm… I love you, you know that? Let’s skip work today. We can spend time together, ‘kay?”
He’d always been unpredictable and spontaneous, so you merely laughed in response. “I don’t have work today, remember? But you still do.”
Shaking his head, he pouts — there’s the Dazai you love. “Nope!~ I refuse to go into work today. I’m spending my whole day with my love!” He practically jumps for joy, hands moving to gently hold your waist. “Let’s bake cookies.”
There isn’t much you can do, watching with an amused grin as Dazai unties your shoes before dragging you to the kitchen.
“It does not take two hours to make cookie dough…” you sigh, trying to jostle the white flour from your hair. “We baked cookies together, like, two weeks ago! How could we already have forgotten everything…”
Dazai grins, planting kiss after kiss on your cheeks, melted butter staining your skin from when he accidentally tried to drink from the cup you’d used to soften it. “Hard to remember much when I’m with you.”
“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” You chuckled, grabbing a towel from the counter to wipe both your face and his lips.
“Yep!~ It’s like.. my love is so pretty I can’t think when I’m around them! Oh, I could just die in… No! I don’t even want to die! I could live in your arms, grow old together and watch you get all frail and saggy,” Dazai speaks dreamily, swooning over the idea of growing old with you. How sweet.
You push him away gently and begin balling up the chocolate chip cookie dough, pressing it onto the silver pan you made Dazai buy when you first started staying over. “Saggy? No, I’ll be young and beautiful forever,” you joke, but Dazai only nods in response.
“It’s true! No one holds a candle to my love. Why, I wish I could spend every day just staring at you.” Dazai’s voice always sounded teasing when he was with you, but even as you put the last of the cookie dough onto the tray (only had enough to fill one, since Dazai kept spilling, throwing or eating the ingredients..) you could feel the genuineness in his words.
Oven preheated, you slid the sheet in to bake (making sure to start the timer) before turning to Dazai. Before you could get a word in, the front door to your shared apartment creaked open. Heart dropping to your stomach, you grabbed the closest thing to you: a whisk your boyfriend had licked clean. Said boyfriend only seemed to sigh, falling into a more somber mood, head hanging before he sent you a sad smile.
“I think the jig is up, love…”
Your name is called from the front door, the voice… suspiciously familiar. “Are you in there? You weren’t answering your phone and I got worried...” Dazai stepped into your apartment, hanging his keys by the door before turning around (an addition you made, since he tended to forget his and jumpscare you by picking the lock every few days).
The three of you stood still, no words spoken and the only sound being that of your metal whisk dropping to the floor. Spinning from one Dazai to the next, you wiped a splotch of flour from your shirt collar. You felt guilty for some reason, like you were at fault for not recognizing an imposter Dazai, and wanted to make yourself look more presentable.
“Awww, love!” The Dazai at the door pouts, throwing his coat on the floor as he quickly heads over to you. “Are you cheating on me?” He continues, slouching over you to impose as much of his weight as he can. You struggle for a moment, his bone crushing hug enveloping more than you expected.
Guilt still apparent as your tummy twisted, you shook your head. “I didn’t— “
The other Dazai, the one wearing a black tie and covered in various cookie ingredients pouted as well. “Maybe she’s cheating on me! I mean, I can’t believe my love moved in with another man…”
God, this was too confusing. You gently pushed Dazai A off of you, stepping back from the two. “I don’t— “
“I can’t believe this… I head to work early one time and now you’re making cookies for someone else!” Dazai A whined, face smooshed against the oven door’s glass in longing. “I’ll never be on time again! In fact, I think I’ll always have to be late.”
Dazai B pulled Dazai A back towards him by his collar, whispering obnoxiously, “I’ll share the cookies if you share the beautiful partner.”
Dazai A nods in approval, eyes closed and arms crossed like it was the easiest decision to make in the world. “I want half the sheet. And, I want a kiss…” He pouts towards you. Ugh, how annoying.
You deadpan towards the two, no longer feeling guilty. These two were just as much Dazai as they could get. Arms spread, you let Dazai A pull you into a hug so you can give him a proper welcome home kiss. “Both of you are obnoxious. Is that all I’m worth? Half a sheet of cookies?”
“Half a sheet of your cookies,” Dazai B grins. “That’s not something either of us would give up lightly.” The other Dazai nods in agreement.
Both of your stupid, annoying, clingy boyfriends tug on your sleeves, forcing you over to the couch so they can both receive your affections while the cookies bake.
the timer goes off after a while but they both whine about not wanting to let u get up. once you threaten letting the cookies burn they're quick to let go. i hate them both.
662 notes · View notes
minty364 · 3 months
Text
DPXDC Prompt #61 Part 5
There were two new arrivals to the dining room. Both with black hair but one of them had an odd white stripe, the stripe reminded him of his hair in ghost form. 
The one without the stripe sat next to Tim and the other one sat next to Danny. 
“You weren’t kidding when you said they looked identical,” the guy without the stripe said, “Names Richard Greyson, but you can call me Dick”
Dick had a bright smile on his face, it was clear he was a morning person. 
Damian made another ‘Tt’ noise at his introduction. 
The guy with the stripe in his hair grunted in agreement before holding out a coffee mug for Alfred, who was already standing next to him ready to pour. He took a swig before speaking, “Names Jason, you may look alike but seeing Damian eat meat, even from an alternate universe is weird.”
Danny took a bite of his bacon and swallowed like he was making a point before speaking, “I go by Danny, I faked my death years ago, as far as I’m concerned we were all strangers in my world.” He started, he took a moment to think about exactly how’d he explain everything. He knew it wasn’t exactly a pretty story but he also knew from the stories Talia told him when he was younger that Bruce was all about planning ahead, so keeping information from  him might not be the best way to go about all of this. 
He took another bite and swallowed before speaking again, “My foster family is fine though, I have a roof over my head and food. They spend most of their time in their lab working. They study Ectology, or the study of ghosts.” Jason raised an eyebrow at this but didn’t say anything. Danny continued, “They actually succeeded in building a portal to their realm, the realm of ghosts, or Infinite Realm as we call it.”
“We? You say that like you're one of the ghosts” Tim asked laughing a little bit.
He quickly got silent when Danny wasn’t laughing with him.
Damian made another ‘Tt’ noise before speaking, “Clearly this imposter has lost it, ghosts don’t exist and all of this nonsense is just that nonsense.” He glared at Danny.
Danny smiled at him and it caused Damian to falter a little before he glared at Danny again.
“Yes, Ghosts are real,” Danny sighed before continuing, “Trust me, it sounds crazy but I’ve seen some crazy things in my world. Although now I’m wondering if just showing you guys would be easier… Alright I’ll show you all but know that no one except my sister knows. Secret identity and all.”
“Wait,” Dick interrupted, “Does Robin not exist in your world?”
“Robin existed but there hasn’t been a Robin since Joker murdered the last one.” Danny answered. 
Everyone fell silent at that and the atmosphere got heavy. Everyone, especially Jason was giving each other knowing glances.
Danny cleared his throat before continuing, “Anyways, yes ghosts exist, unfortunately the portal in this world probably doesn’t work like my own world. It’s been about a year since I turned it on and since I was here in Gotham when they tried it in this world there’s no telling what they did after it didn’t work. Actually now that I think about it, I wonder if they exist here,” he thought about the GIW in his world and it occurred to him. If ghosts weren’t running rampant in Amity Park, they probably didn’t exist here.
He brought out his phone from his pocket and looked it up. His eyes lit up a bit at the information he found. Or more accurately the information he didn’t find. Searching GIW in this world brought zero results, so great he wouldn’t be hunted for existing here. 
He let out a sigh of relief at this. He turned to everyone and they were watching him closely. He gave them a small smile, “It’s been a while since I had a moment where I didn’t have to worry about being hunted for existing.” He explained. He figured he might as well get the conversation out of the way no matter how difficult it was. 
Everyone at the table was silent as they waited for him to continue. The tension was thick in the air however, you could tell that even though Danny had just arrived everyone was ready to jump to defend him, even if he wasn’t their Damian he was still part of the family even if he had just arrived into their lives. It cemented Danny’s determination to tell them the truth.
He took a deep breath and then spoke again, “The portal didn’t work at first when they tried it, I of course wanted to help so when they were away I went in to see if I could figure out the problem… Long story short, it helps to build the on switch on the outside of the portal. I’m not proud to admit that even with all of my training, there were just too many cords that even I tripped.” He didn’t have to say much else about that as their faces told him they understood what happened. He gave a dark chuckle and continued, “Yeah hurt like hell but I don’t have to worry about losing anything anymore.” He then took his phone and phased it into his chest.
The room went silent again for a moment, but it was broken by Jason who started cackling. 
He wheezed for a moment before he got out, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t ready for not Damian to make a fucking pun!”
Meanwhile everyone else was still too stunned to speak. Finally Damian surprisingly spoke, “What else can you do?”
Danny smiled, this was going to be fun.
Master Post:
Last:
702 notes · View notes
kyluff · 4 months
Text
— ↺ Pregnancy Cravings
Tumblr media
✎ gojo + geto + nanami + toji + choso x reader !
✦ summary ➠ headcannons on how jjk men react to your cravings during pregnancy.
✦ warnings ➠ pregnancy, nausea, puking
✦ note ➠Hi! Can there be a part 2 of this like pregnancy cravings? - asked by erajoie07 under my ‘baby daddy’ post.
Tumblr media
✪ Satoru Gojo
— Pregnancy had brought both negative and positive aspects to your life; exhaustion and energy, tears and happy tears, hate and love. But a very prominent thing that you, and Gojo, noticed was that it brought many cravings. That’s what brought you to where you are now, walking down a street that was littered with food and trinket stands alike.
It all started when you said you wanted ice cream, but not just any ice cream that you get in a pail. No, you wanted to have it scooped by a worker and given out in a large waffle cone, it had to be a waffle cone, not a regular cone. If it wasn’t then you didn’t want to eat it anymore. So you loving husband brought you to a ice cream stand.
“Thank you.” You heard your husband thank the cashier, taking the cone and turning to bring it your way. You were sat on a bench, wishing to sit for a while and rest your swollen feet. To be honest, you started to feel a little queasy ever since you reached the farmers market and had taken in all the smells it produced. It was hard carrying around a almost eight month baby. “Here you go, your precious waffle cone and chocolate ice cream.”
“Actually, I think I’ll pass. I’m not feeling well.” You grimaced, scrunching your nose up and the sight of the dripping ice cream. “Thank you for getting for me though.” You kissed his cheek.
“That’s alright, I can have it for you.” He assured you. “Feeling sick? Want to go back home?” He asked, sitting down beside you and pulling you closer to lean onto his body. Sure, he did let you drag him all the way here just to get you your special treat, but he understood. Pregnancy did a lot of things to a woman.
“No! I think I just need something salty to eat, sweetness it totally throwing me off right now.” You nuzzled into his shoulder, letting all your weight fall onto him.
“Good idea, maybe a soft pretzel, how does that sound?” He bumped your shoulder and you nodded as a response, letting him hoist you up. He secured an arm around you, steadying you while you walked to the pretzel stand, his other hand still holding onto the cone.
Once you had the pretzel secured, you bit into it, smiling at the salty taste that melted into your tongue. Quickly though, your smile faded and your lips trembled in an attempt to hold in the puke that was inevitably rising up your throat. You rushed to the nearest garbage can and let it all out, Gojo followed behind you in worry.
“I think it’s about time we go home.” He had already finished your forgotten ice cream, using one of his hands to pull your hair out of your face while the other worked to rub comforting shapes onto you back.
“No, no. I need a drink, I heard that ginger ale was good for upset stomachs.” You tried to reason, straightening your posture to stand fully.
He breathed in once, shutting his eyes slowly. Why were you being so stubborn, you were clearly sick and needed rest, but you insisted on staying here. He’d go easy on you, you were carrying his child after all. He regained himself, nodding in agreement. “If you get sick again, we’re going home, that’s final.”
You frowned, feeling guilty about making him do all these things. Once you reach a stand that had what you needed, you took small sips of the bubbling liquid, hoping it would react ok.
Gojo was watching you intently, to see if you showed any signs of discomfort or distress.
You paused, feeling another wave of nausea wash over you again. You did your best to hide it from the man that was looking at you, smiling shyly and starting to walk back down the street. “Let’s go home, I’m tried.” It came out shakily.
You did go home, speed walking to the bathroom to relieve yourself of this yucky feeling. You hovered over the toilet, all of the contents of your day coming up. You sighed and wiped your lip, finishing washing your hands. You reached for the door, but Gojo beat you to it. He had a disappointed look on his face, swaying his head side to side.
His silence made you speak, caving into it. “Look, I felt bad, I made you run all over just to get me some food. And I barely ate any of it!”
He softened, bringing your face close to his. “I don’t care about that stuff, I care about you, alright? Your my wife, my pregnant wife that is going to be the mother of my future kid, so if you want me to run you errands then I don’t care. I’ll buy you ten ice creams if that’s what you want.”
✪ Suguru Geto
— You and Suguru have been married for some time now, four years to be exact. And you weren’t first time parents either, you had twin girls that were already three years old by now. You both thought it was the right time to bring another kid into the mix. That’s how you became pregnant now, with your third child.
Your toddlers were asleep finally after they did their toddler activities all around the house. Now it was your time to relax, maybe read a few chapters of the book you started. You entered your bed, turning off the ceiling light and sticking with the candles you had lit all around the bedroom.
As you make yourself comfortable on your bed, your stomach decided to let out a large gurgle, signalling you were hungry. Really? Right now, after you were just about to start reading. You sighed, struggling to lift yourself off the squishy bed. Everything was more difficult when you had a belly the size of a watermelon attached to you. You got to the point where you were sat up, about to slide on your slippers before your husband had barged through the door.
He smiled at you, holding up a brown paper grocery bag up in front of him. “Just swung by the store and saw that they were finally back in stock with the chocolate you’ve been wanting so bad lately.”
You almost cried at the words Geto spoke, he had perfect timing. You were brought back down when he pulled the chocolate bar out of the bag and passed it to you.
“I love you.” You couldn’t help but blurt out, pulling him down with you and you fell down against the bed, kissing him deeply.
“Love you too.” He laughed, you were very random sometimes but he would never dare decline saying a ‘I love you’, especially when it involved you.
✪ Kento Nanami
— It was fairly early in your pregnancy, but it had already affected your emotions greatly. It made you into such a grump, and when you weren’t grumpy you were a cry baby. You’d cry at the littlest things, like if you were watching tv and a sad commercial was shown. You couldn’t help it though, it’s just how your body decided to react to the growing babe in your stomach.
You were a very lucky woman to have such a loving and considerate husband. He understood what you were going through right now, not even batting an eye when you screamed at him in anger, or when you wailed into his embrace.
Right now you were doing the latter of the two, you had been sitting on the couch and had the tv playing when a commercial about elderly dogs came on. When Nanami saw what was on the screen, he quickly sprung into action, switching the channel and looking at you to see how’d you react to this. You were trying to keep it in, taking deep breaths in and out. He stared at you, waiting for something to happen, anything. Then it did, trails of tears streaming down your cheeks.
“Nanami, did you see that poor, old dog?!” You cried out, pointing at the tv even though he had already changed the channel. “He was grey all over, and he had crooked teeth, and his eyes had a shine to them like he was crying!”
You fell into his lap, curling into a sad ball of cries. “And he looked so tired and done with life!”
“Yes, I saw.” He was usually good at coming up with what to say, but what was he suppose to say about a random dog. He regained himself, testing the waters. “He looked quite cute didn’t he?”
Your cries slowed a little, only a little, before they became worse then before. That seemed to be the wrong thing to say. “Such a cute face that’s going to meet its doom, he’s probably going to die in a few years!”
He tried to calm you down with physical comfort instead of verbal. He brought his hand to lay flat against your red cheek, using his thumb to wipe away the constant fall of tears. This didn’t even work though, because you shoved his hand away and covered your face with your own hands. It’s never been this bad, or this long before. You’d usually go back to your normal self after he passed a few words of reassurance or held you close. He didn’t know what to do, but he did what he did best; communication.
“Look, honey, I’m not sure how to help you here. What would make you feel better? Tell me, please, and I’ll do it, anything.” He expressed his feelings forwardly, allowing you time to digest his words. His pointer finger begun to curl with the ends of your hair, waiting for your response.
You mumbled something out against the hands that covered your face, he couldn’t quite understand you. “Say it again, louder this time please, for me?”
“I said ‘a bag of sweet chilli heat Doritos’ would be nice.” You removed your hands this time, ensuring he would hear you.
“Thank you for telling me,” He lifted you gently off of him and placed you back down on the couch as he stood. “I’m going to the convenience store on the corner, I’ll be back soon.” He left you with a small peck on your forehead.
When he returned home to you, he had two white plastic bags with him. “I got you the chips, and I few other things you like.”
After you had your fill of the treats he had brought, you were back to your normal self like nothing ever happened. But this would happen plenty of more times during the 8 months you had left to go, but Nanami didn’t care much. As long as you were happy, and your baby healthy, he was content in life.
✪ Toji Fushiguro
— Toji has been busy with work lately, a particularly hard case was passed onto him to take care of. But now that was all over, he successfully captured the target and handed them off to whichever client has hired him.
He sent a text your way, informing you that he had finished early and was going to be home sooner then expected, which excited you. Your hand subconsciously went to rest on your baby bump, rubbing soothing circles on it. You found that you did this when you were feeling intense emotions, either that being when you were stressed or you were happy, like in this situation.
You decided that you were going to make a proper dinner upon Tojis arrival. That’s the least he deserved after working so hard, and besides, being able to sit down and eat with him would be romantic for both of you after all this time apart.
“M’home.” He mumbled out, kicking off his black shoes and discarding his bag at the entrance. His face shifted slightly when he entered the dinning area, only you could tell though, only you could read him.
“Welcome home,” You skipped up to him, draping your arms around his big shoulders. You pressed a wet kiss to his cheek, then his nose and then his scar. Lastly placing one onto his lips, his own pair of lips chased after yours when you parted from him. “I made your favourite for dinner.”
“Oh ya?” A smirk tugged at his mouth, his hand slipped down so low on your waist, boarder line groping your ass.
“Mhm,” You nodded in response, taking his hand to lead him to the table you set up. There were two plates laid out, filled with food. “Sit down, let’s eat.”
The night consisted of laughs and deep conversations, you could finally talk about what you have missed from each others lives. You picked up your fork, planning to stab into another piece of a side dish you had made, but you were met with nothing. You frowned, that was the one you looked forward to the most while cooking.
Toji picked up on this, he watched as you started mindlessly playing with whatever was left on your plate. Letting the moment play out for awhile, he smiled down at you.
You’ve had enough, standing up and walking to where your boyfriend sat. You kicked the chair leg, telepathically telling him to push back from the table. He listened, leaving enough room for you to squeeze your way onto his lap. Toji accepted the situation, placing his hands on your hips gently, letting you do your thing.
“What’s up?” He hummed in a teasing voice, anything he said came out in a teasing way really. You took his fork, using it to eat what you had wanted to earlier from your own.
“Your sons hungry,” You said before taking another bite. “And he really seems to like this.”
He only nodded his head, letting out a quiet groan as he rubbed up and down the sides of your body.
✪ Choso Kamo
— Choso has always been an obedient boyfriend, doing anything you asked of him with no complaint. This time you might’ve crossed a line though, tonight you asked him to spoon feed you the vanilla yogurt he had just got back from buying you. This just might be the most outrageous task you’ve ever thrown his way, but he agreed to it still, that’s just how much he loved you.
“Can you really not do this yourself?” He asked you as he sat in front of you, lining himself up so he could perform what you wanted to be done.
“I could, technically speaking. But I much rather my handsome boyfriend do it for me.” You passed him the spoon and opened yogurt container.
“Hmm,” he hummed out quietly, taking the two objects you happily gave him. “I still don’t understand why you would ever possibly want this, though.”
“Because it’s romantic, Choso,” You educated your the man. “It’s like you’re feeding our baby yourself.” You giggled, this was a joke of course, I mean the logic behind your words made no sense. But this awakened something in Choso, he felt sparks forming in his heart. He never thought of it in that way, but he sure was now. And he liked that idea.
He quickly scooped up a chunk of the white substance, bringing it to your lips. You smiled at his knew found sense of enthusiasm, opening your mouth to welcome the silverware. You shut your mouth closed, swallowing the yogurt and letting out a satisfied hum.
“Wasn’t that nice? Very intimate I’d say—”
Your boyfriend didn’t respond, only forming another spoonful for you to eat. You smiled as you watched him, to think he was considering saying no to this, now he was enjoying it so much.
684 notes · View notes
toji-girl · 3 months
Text
come back to me 1 | pro hero k. bakugo
tags: you two are divorced and parents + angst + repost from my old blog + this part and all the others have been edited to add more
part two | part three | part four
Loud squealing could be heard coupled with loud laughter and heavy footsteps when you knocked on Katsuki’s door. It was the Monday following his weekend with your children and you dreaded this.
Not that you would ever keep Aya and Kouki away from their dad, after all, they are a lot alike. "Mommy!" Aya cried when she was the first one to open the door followed by Katsuki who was dressed up as a villain of sorts if you had to guess.
It's just seeing the only man you ever loved after such a painful divorce that made your heart ache and twist in your chest, and not in a good way either.
They were clearly in the middle of playtime and your stomach dropped. Your ex-husband stood behind his mini him, the little one who looks so much like him down to the resting mean face. "I told you not to open the door without me present my princess." He grumbled with a huff.
"I knew it was mommy though!" She shot back with a little bit of an attitude and waited until you crouched down before wrapping her small arms around your neck followed by her older brother who was dressed as a hero and came running towards you.
Katsuki watched you hug your babies who weren't babies anymore, with Kouki who just turned seven, and Aya five. "I was able to beat the villain and save the princess!" He announced proudly with a smile.
You raised an eyebrow and laughed looking at them and stood up as they both looked at each other. “I’m glad you guys are having fun. Are you two ready to go? It’s getting late and a thunderstorm is going to start very soon so we need to get back before it starts.”
“Can we stay a little longer, please? We still have to finish this and have dinner.” Aya asked, her bottom lip jutted out perfecting the perfect pout to try and persuade it to fall in her favor, her red eyes turned glassy making you nod your head in agreement.
Your eyebrows knitted together a bit as you stood up and looked at Katsuki. You really didn’t want to stay any longer and have to be around the man who has seen every fiber of who you are, and the part that sucked is you still love him so much it hurts at times.
It took him a while for him to admit he liked you but the day he did you'll never forget it, it was the night of high school graduation when he pulled you into an empty classroom to tell you how he felt.
From there you both spent a lot more time together, eventually, he was your first kiss and first everything, he's the only man you've been with and you don't think you're quite ready to get with someone else.
When you got pregnant at the tender age of nineteen, a year after high school it only made sense to get married and you were highly in love with Katsuki but later it all came crumbling down when his job took precedence over everything in his life, including his family.
He’s still madly in love with you and has been since middle school, during his time at UA the relationship was strained a bit as you didn’t go there and his dream of being a pro hero meant everything to him but he still did his best in spending time with you.
Four years into the marriage it was to the point that you couldn’t bear it anymore, no matter how many conversations you had to have about it nothing ever changed and you couldn’t hold him back either.
At the age of twenty-three, you found yourself a single mother with two children.
“If you want I’d never tell you no, it wouldn’t hurt to have dinner as a family.” Katsuki said with a slight grunt as he watched you step inside the house you two bought years ago. You kicked your shoes off and scooped up your children kissing their cheeks with a soft smile.
You followed the blonde male into the kitchen and sat Kouki and Aya down in their chairs at the table. The room smelled delicious, yet another thing you missed about Katsuki then your mind filled with painful memories of spending time dancing in the kitchen.
Aya watched and followed you once you departed from the table, her tiny fist curled into your pant leg. “Did Daddy tell you he has a girlfriend?” She asked looking up at you with an innocent smile.
Your heart sunk to your stomach like a rock being thrown into a lake. It seems he’s moved on and there’s nothing wrong with it because you were the one to ask for the divorce. “No he didn’t, is she nice to you?” You asked in return hoping your voice didn't creak or break.
It's been three years since the divorce and it only made sense for him to move on, you didn't blame him but that didn't lessen the pain you felt, it was a never-ending soft pulsing pain that stung.
Katsuki stared at his daughter while making the plates, it was something he wanted to share with you privately but it seems like now is the best time. He could see it clear as day the pain in your eyes and wondered why you felt such a way after divorcing him.
“She is yes! She takes Kouki and me to school and makes desserts!” Aya replied not understanding how that could affect you in such a manner.
Katsuki cleared his throat and made the table. “Sit down, Aya.” He told her.
His voice was soft but still something you didn’t want to argue with. Your bottom lip wobbled a bit as your stomach curled. “How would you two like it if you were able to stay with your dad one more day? I’ll pick you up tomorrow.” You asked with a soft smile that was fake.
The air felt thick inside your lungs, like it was mud and breathing was no longer an option. You needed to get out of there before you broke down in a fit of tears and the last thing you wanted was for your kids to see such a thing. You knew why it hurt still. You love Katsuki.
“You don’t have -” Katsuki began then cut off at the eager nod of their heads at the prospect of being able to stay. You smiled and kissed their foreheads and swiftly gave each a tight hug before pulling away to stand up.
You looked at Katsuki and then down at your plate, you were starving but wouldn't be able to stay any longer to eat, and he was right, it would be nice to have a family dinner until the bomb was dropped.
Was it a bit cowardly to run away? Perhaps.
But you couldn't help how you felt about him. You'd always love him no matter what.
Aya dug into her food as did your son thanking their dad for everything. "Before the storm hits I gotta go, and my apartment is about thirty minutes away anyway." You explained and turned your attention back to your children.
"I'll see you two tomorrow morning then, be good and make sure you listen well to your daddy." Your voice wavered with unshed emotions, and being by yourself meant you could get the chance to calm down and think about him moving on. 
With another handful of hugs and forehead kisses, you walked to the front door to slip your shoes on and open the door only for it to be shut, and Katsuki's arm next to your head as he stood behind you so close you could feel his warmth and smell his cologne and him.
His chest brushed against your back when he took in a deep breath. "Don't go. The kids don't want you to go, you can sleep in ou- my bed and I'll take the couch, it's raining already anyway, so stay here."
You cleared your throat and turned to look at him, but instead, your gaze dropped down to the faded text of his Pro Hero name on his shirt. It was one you've worn too many times to count. "I'll take the couch then and we'll head out after breakfast then."
532 notes · View notes
island-in-the-shadows · 3 months
Text
I absolutely get the takes that Oliver never really knew Felix. Just knew some sort of idealised version of him. And there is credence to it. However, I think it's a little bit more complex.
I think Oliver did know Felix. I think that Felix probably told him things he hadn't told anyone else. It's easier to open up to people you've just met about some things than it is to open up to someone you've known a long time. You don't want relatives to know certain things or you don't want them to judge you. We see conversations that they have but we don't hear them. We're not privy to what they say to each other. Why is that? Simple. Oliver doesn't want us to know.
Everything is coloured by Oliver being an unreliable narrator. Felix, in particular, is inexorably coloured by the deep and complicated love Oliver has for him, by his nostalgia, and by his anger and frustration. But it's also coloured by Oliver's perceived possession of Felix.
As much as, from what we see (if we take it at face value), Felix is clearly possessive of Oliver, so to Oliver is possessive of Felix. We see it again and again. Hell, (imo) the ending of the film is not so much about possessing Saltburn as just real estate and social status, etc. as it is about possessing Saltburn as an extension of Felix. And this possession colours the narrative. Even if he's telling this to a comatose Elspeth. In Oliver's mind, his claim over Felix supersedes Elspeth's even though she is Felix's mother.
So it's not that he didn't know Felix. It's that we don't know Felix. We never really do. We see bits of him. But it's because we are not allowed to know him. Oliver does not want us to know him. His Felix--God and human, perfection and foible alike--is not for us. He never could be. Oliver would never allow it.
569 notes · View notes
dmwrites · 3 months
Text
Cleo was tired. The first few weeks on a new server always were. They were back at their starter base after a long walk to find some mangrove trees. Their starter base wasn’t much yet, but they could appreciate its simplicity as they collapsed on the only chair they owned. As soon as their butt hit the chair, though, there was a knocking sound on her front door.
“Hey, Cleo? Sorry to bother you so late.” Joe could be heard over his knocks.
Cleo stumped over to the door and opened it. “Joe, I- oh no, what happened?”
Joe looked up at them sadly, holding stuffing in his hands. He had a few arrows sticking out of his blue skin, and a slash in his stomach, where the stuffing was leaking from.
“I was caving, and I may have run into a skeleton spawner… and a stalagmite.” Joe replied sadly. “But with this new puppet body, I don’t know how to heal myself.”
“Oh Joe.” Cleo chuckled in sympathy. “I think you and I need to stop hanging out- we’re too alike.”
“What do you mean?” Joe asked, still clearly upset.
“You need stitches like I do to my own skin. Come in, I’ll show you how to do it.”
Cleo had the puppet of a man sit on the only chair, still cradling his stuffing, and went to get her scissors and industrial-grade string.
“Right, arrows out first.” Cleo told him, setting down her equipment. “You just hold onto that stuffing… wait, would those be your organs, technically?”
Joe looked down at the white fluff. “I guess so, yeah.”
“That’s so gross, I love it.” Cleo said, and reached for an arrow lodged in Joe’s shoulder. “Okay, ready? I’m gonna pull it out in three, two, one.” they tugged the arrow out, and looked for any signs of distress on Joe’s face.
“Oh, that didn’t hurt at all!” Joe said, a little more cheerfully. “Now that I’m thinking about it, none of my wounds hurt, it’s just the emotional part that got me.”
“You make being a puppet sound more and more appealing.” Cleo grumbled, pulling the other arrows out in rapid succession. “Alright, let’s deal with this stomach wound- did you bellyflop onto a spike? How on earth did you do this, Joe?”
“Yeah, that’s it, really.” Joe said sheepishly. “Wait, don’t you need gloves or other sanitation methods to do major surgery?” He continued as Cleo reached for his stuffing.
“You’re a fucking puppet, Joe, if an arrow does nothing to you, germs shouldn't either.” Cleo replied, giving him a withering look.
“You’re right! Okay, let’s stuff away!”
Joe and Cleo stuffed the stuffing (or guts, depended on how you looked at it) back into Joe. Cleo carefully sewed him back up, showing him how it was done as she did. In no time at all, Joe was all put together again.
“Okay, here’s your own scissors and string, so you should be set to go now.” Cleo said, handing her extra supplies over to the puppet.
“Oh, thank you for stuffing me full of the good stuff, Cleo!” Joe beamed.
“Good lord, don’t tell people I’ve been stuffing you full of the good stuff, Joe, or we won’t hear the end of it.” Cleo sighed, but waved Joe off nonetheless.
499 notes · View notes
bruisedboys · 5 months
Note
I’d love to see candy cane ❛ wow i really can’t speak, huh? must be because of how pretty you look. ❜ IT’S SO JAMES CODED OMG
also congratulations on 6k you deserve it so much!!
omg it is sooo james coded!!! also this is funny bc a while ago my bff aerial did this exact prompt with james for a request I sent in! great minds think alike I guess
james potter x fem!reader
James is bombarded with your loveliness the moment he walks in the door.
“Jamie!” You beam at him from where you’re folding laundry on the living room floor. You roll up a pair of his socks before scrambling to your feet to meet him. “Hello, honey. How was work?”
You throw yourself at him in a clumsy but no less affectionate hug. James takes the brunt of your weight happily, his hands folding around your waist.
“Hello,” he says back, a little dazed. You smell lovely. His hands skim over the strip of bare skin on your back, where your top rides up. You’re warm under his palms. “It, um. It was good.”
You pull back, still positively beaming. James blinks at you. You’re so pretty and so clearly ecstatic to seem him. He could die.
“Yeah?” You ask him, head tilting slightly to the side. James thinks you resemble a puppy, a little bit. “That’s good. Are you hungry, baby? ‘Cos I haven’t started on dinner yet, but I can get it going now, if—“
“Sweetheart.” James stops your sweet rambling, and brings a hand to your jaw. “I’m okay. I’ll eat whenever you’re ready, yeah?”
You nod. “Okay. You’re sure you’re not hungry?”
James does his best to smile at you, but it’s hard when you’re being so lovely and all he really wants is to kiss you silly. “Yes. I’m sure, bub. Let me help you with the laundry?”
You let him help you, albeit grudgingly. You both sit on the floor and sort things into piles. James notices, with not much surprise, that your folding is much neater than his. You’re chatting away to him, and he’s listening, he swears he is, but he’s so distracted by how achingly lovely you are that it’s hard to pay attention.
When you’re done you crawl across the piles to sit closer to him, crossing your legs so your knees press into his. You put your hand on James’ thigh and he feels starstruck.
“So, for dinner,” you start conversationally, like you’re not being the loveliest most captivating girl he’s ever met right now. “I was thinking mac ‘n’ cheese? There’s lots of pasta in the cupboard for it. Or we could do tomato soup, or just takeout if you want. Whatever you like, Jamie.”
And you push your hand further up his thigh, and smile this awful smile that makes James’ heart race, makes his palms sweat and his head swim.
“I— okay. Um. Uh, um.” What were you talking about again? He thinks you might have mentioned pasta. “Pasta is good, I think?”
You give him a half bewildered, half amused look. “James, what?” You say, giggling a bit. You bring your hand to his cheek and he hopes he’s not as boiling hot as he thinks he is. “Are you okay?”
James shakes his head from side to side as if to clear it. “I’m fine, it’s— I’m just. You’re—“ And he literally has to stop talking, because the way you’re looking at him is tying his tongue in knots. How do you expect him to be able to function properly when you’re being so lovely? When you’re touching his cheek and sitting so close, asking him what he wants for dinner and looking at him like he’s made of starlight. He puffs out a big breath, hot in the face.
“Wow, I really can’t speak, huh?” He admits, totally embarrassed but also totally past caring. “Must be because of how pretty you look.”
The spell breaks. You rolls your eyes and huff at him, good natured. “James,” you groan.
“What?” James laughs and takes your hand from his cheek, lacing his fingers with yours. “I’m serious. You’re messing me up, sweet thing.”
You squint at him, like you’re trying to figure out if he’s being serious or not. Your must realise he’s totally and completely serious, because you wrinkle your nose at him.
“Ugh.” You say, and unfold yourself to stand up.“You’re impossible.”
James gawks up at you. “I’m impossible? You’re the one bewitching me like some sort of evil witch woman.”
You giggle and flounce off, saying something about putting the pasta on to boil. James is left to sit there wondering if you really have put him under a spell. He sure feels like it.
634 notes · View notes
wileys-russo · 7 months
Text
childhood sweethearts (8) II a.russo x reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
series playlist one two three four five six seven
will they? won’t they? the age old question x
childhood sweethearts (8) II a.russo x reader
once again alessia found herself sat alone in the same cafe as last time, profound deja vu setting in. her leg was bouncing anxiously and her eyes flickered to the door every few seconds, nervous you'd not show despite having been the one to extend the invitation to her.
but this time alessia knew she was early, having been far too worried about what you might actually have to say to her that she'd shown up a whole forty minutes before your agreed meet up time.
having sat in her car for the last twenty five she'd ventured inside, waiting until it was five minutes before you'd hopefully show to order your coffees, remembering what you had gotten last time and crossing her fingers it was what you'd want again.
her body relaxed the moment you walked inside, raising her hand as you spotted her, the blonde cursing to herself at the awkward gesture as you sat across from her with a smile, seemingly quite relaxed which alessia didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad.
"is this mine?" you asked gesturing to the iced coffee in front of you as the blonde nodded, rambling out that she hoped it was right and that if it wasn't she could easily get you another. "hey, alessia breathe. this is my regular order, it could be two degrees and i'd still get an iced coffee." you joked.
the two of you made some polite small talk, alessia asking about your week as you enquired about hers. the two of you swapping a few stories and a laugh before you decided to put her out of her misery, easily sensing her obvious nerves for why you'd asked her to meet with you in the first place.
which you could hardly blame her for given how your last conversation had gone, and it had taken you a lot of thinking to actually move past that.
"so i obviously asked you to coffee for a reason." you started, alessia nodding as she finished the last mouthful of her drink, setting the empty glass aside.
"i know that the last time we spoke was a bit...tense?" you smiled awkwardly, as one does when the last time you're present in front of someone you scream at them about your dead dad and then promptly collapse into a disgusting sobbing mess.
"and i appreciate you giving me the space that i asked for." you thanked her softly. "there's obviously a lot of history with us alessia and its not something either of us can or should forget, the good and the bad alike." you continued, the blonde across from you twisting her rings around her fingers, clearly still apprehensive about what you might say but listening intently.
"i won’t lie i was so incredibly angry with you for a really long time. and i was hurt and upset and i didn't understand why you did what you did or why you thought i’d have not supported you from the beginning.” you continued, alessia accepting your words with a nod.
“it took me even longer to actually come to terms with my pain and start to move past the anger because it didn’t do me any good, leaving it and you behind. i remember when you won the euros i was grateful to be living overseas because i don’t know how i’d have coped seeing your face plastered everywhere when i had been trying my best to move on with my life.” you were perhaps a little blunt in your words but the blonde across from you appreciated the honesty.
“i got over the breakup a lot faster than i actually got over losing you. i may have lashed out at you about it but you weren’t wrong, we were a huge part of each others lives for a long time before we dated. and i think i felt like once I moved past losing you as a partner, it hurt more to grieve the actual history and years of friendship and that immense bond we had before which was just suddenly gone.” you admitted quietly, a flash of pain glancing across both yours and alessia’s faces momentarily as the blonde was briefly plagued by the memory of her own feelings toward the loss.
“but look i think there is some merit in saying that people change. and i can see that you're making an effort to try and show me that's not who you are anymore." you noted, pausing for a second to collect your thoughts.
"i still feel that the kiss was a mistake, and that it can't and won't happen again. i’ve moved past those feelings for you and i just can’t risk being hurt like that again.” you remanded softly, alessia's stomach clenching at the memory of your lips on hers but she made sure this was disguised, nodding along. unbeknownst to her all of this was also playing on your mind, but you’d shoved deep down how good it felt to lean into the feeling of her lips on yours in favour of not ever wanting to be so let down again, you had your walls up for a reason and you’d learned to protect yourself as best you could.
"but you were right, we do both live here now and its obvious our mums are clearly back in one anothers lives again so we are going to have to interact regardless. so, i guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm open to trying to be friends again." you revealed, alessia's eyebrows shooting upward unable to disguise the obvious surprise on her face at your words.
"but slowly. i still have a lot of trust issues after everything, and they don't just go away overnight." you warned as alessia nodded furtively, clearly trying to hold back the grin which you could see tugging at the corners of her mouth.
"okay." the blonde breathed out, biting her bottom lip to stifle her smile as you shook your head with a smile of your own. "okay?" you chuckled, sipping on the last of your coffee.
"okay. yeah this is good, this will be good. but slowly! i can do slowly." alessia nodded, more as if to reassure herself than you as you hummed. "and just friends less, that other chapter is closed now and i don't want to open it again." you cautioned gently, aware that obviously all of this would be triggering things for her too, not just within you.
"i understand. like i said, i've missed you. to have you back in any capacity is more than i deserve, thank you." alessia admitted quietly with a shy smile, her heart admittedly pounding. again there was the soft vulnerable shy side of her you’d rarely seen growing up, and it was obvious that in her maturity there’d been some changes to her once almost aggressively over confident demeanour.
but between this opportunity that alessia been presented to have you back in her life coupled with the fact you'd just not called her by her full name without correcting yourself, she was quite the happy mess.
"to friendship." alessia lifted her empty glass with a grin causing you to laugh. "really?" you raised an eyebrow in amusement as alessia nodded and gestured for you to do the same. "it's empty! its bad luck to cheers with an empty glass.” you accused pointing to her finished coffee with a roll of your eyes.
"there's some...watery coffee like liquid left." the striker peered into her glass with a wince, the two of you sharing a look and a wide smile.
"fine, to friendship." you knocked your glass into hers, downing the last mouthful of your coffee as the blonde sipped the few milimetres of melted ice left in her own, grimacing in disgust.
"so, how do we um…do this?"
~
walking into training that afternoon there was seldom a thing someone could have said to wipe the shit eating grin off of alessia's face.
she was always known to be a positive person by nature, never unkind or rude to any of the staff or her team, always yelling out encouragement during drills or games, cracking jokes or messing about with the girls who she was closer to.
however to those same girls it was also not hard to see that today there was very obviously an extra bit of pep in the young lionesses step as she sauntered into the cafeteria for lunch, flashing around a toothy grin.
"you're even more chipper than usual less. have a good morning?" lotte questioned with a surprised smile as alessia sat down with her tray of food, humming in agreement. "would you like to elaborate?" lotte chuckled picking at her chicken as vic sat down followed closely by katie and caitlin.
"russo! you're glowin today. have a cheeky midnight rendezvous did we?" katie teased as alessia's face blushed bright red which vac wasted no time teasing her about, pinching at her cheeks as alessia shoved her off with a playful roll of her eyes.
"no. just caught up with an old friend for coffee." alessia explained with a shrug, shoveling a mouthful of food in as lotte narrowed her eyes slightly. "not..." she trailed off with an insinuating look as alessia avoided her eyes.
"oh less." lotte sighed, shaking her head as she picked at her food. "not the ex missus from the bar?" katie caught on quickly with a shocked look, alessia hissing for her to be quiet and smacking her arm across the table.
"an ex girlfriend? you like girls? why am i the last to know about this?" vic scoffed in offence shoving the blonde beside her. "cause you chose not to come out that night! russo here got beyond blind pissed and called her ex missus who had to come and pick her up, and the poor girl was not happy about it." katie caught the dutch girl up as caitlin shoved her, nodding to alessia with a firm warning look.
"oh was that private information? sorry less." katie winced slightly as vic rounded on alessia with a hundred questions. "okay fine i'll tell you! just shut up for five seconds." alessia huffed at the shorter girls persistence who immediatley went quiet, all four girls now looking to the blonde for an explanation.
so with twenty minutes left before they were expected into the gym, alessia opened up about almost everything between you and her, well as much as she was willing to share with her friends anyway.
"christ russo, you planned on leavin without even tellin her? harsh. i'd have dumped ya too, and kicked your arse!" katie whistled, caitlin stomping on her foot with a firm look at her girlfriends inability to clearly read the vibe of a room.
suddenly the training staff called for everyone to head toward the gym as the girls stood, alessia appreciating the forced cut off of their previous conversation as they all dumped their trays and split up to head off out of the cafeteria.
"i stand by what i said early on, are you sure this is a good idea? that you're able to be just friends with her? that break up had you really not okay for a long time less." lotte questioned softly, eyes shining with care for the younger girl.
"look i can't answer that right now. but i would rather have her in my life as a friend than nothing at all. she’s been my best mate since we were five lotte and we've spent too long apart, i miss her." alessia admitted with a sigh, lotte nodding in understanding, pulling her into a tight side hug before they were split up for drills.
~
"oh look what’s come crawling out of its cave, it lives!" your older brother harry teased as he opened the door and let you in, causing you to shove him with a roll of your eyes. "hello stranger." your older sister lilly called out from the sofa causing you to groan in annoyance.
"sorry i have a life outside of mooching off mums cooking and fully stocked up cupboards." you retorted back, shrugging off your jacket and hanging it up by the door.
"they're not here yet." harry added as you glanced toward the backyard where several people littered about. alessia hadn’t been wrong your mum had organised another get together with the russo’s, however of course being the hostess with the mostess she had also invited several of her other friends and their families along too.
“why are you both hiding out in here then?” you chuckled, wandering into the kitchen and shaking your head at the amount of prepped food, enough to feed twice the amount of people. though it would mean you could likely steal some leftovers for your work lunches this week and that was a promising thought.
“i’m taking a break from all the polite small talk and lil’s sick of people touching her tummy.” harry chuckled nodding to your pregnant sister who nodded in agreement. “how is my little niece or nephew doing?” you grinned happily, thumping yourself down beside her and looking at your sister with hopeful eyes as your brother ventured back outside.
“i already told you we’re not finding out the gender until the baby comes, nor will i be revealing any names!” your sister warned making you groan in annoyance, giving her a pout to which she just playfully shoved your head away.
“buzzkill. where’s oli then?” you asked, unable to spot your sisters husband anywhere. “work. he’s taken up every second weekend to try and help us save for the little one.” lily patted her stomach. “you know for some extra money we could capitolise on you being pregnant. i’m sure thats like a fetish or something somewhere.” you shrugged casually as your sister looked at you like you had four heads.
“i’m not even going to dignify that with a response god you are so weird!” your sister shook her head as you only grinned. “so how was your date then? i don’t see a ring!” she teased as you rolled your eyes. “is there anyone mum didn’t tell?” you huffed in annoyance at the ever meddling behaviours of her. “please you know her hairdresser, the market attendant and her nail lady are all rooting for you to find a husband or a wife soon.” that caused both of you to break out into a laugh.
“i date all the genders and yet here i am the only single sibling. i’m honestly shocked mums not tried to set me up with someone or sell me off like a prized cow yet.” you rolled your eyes with a smile.
“oh believe me she’s open to it! but you’re lucky she’s so gullible because i personally know you didn’t go on a date, you were just avoiding alessia.” lily quirked an eyebrow knowingly. “i was not!” you defended though you quickly abandoned that strategy at her firm gaze, seeing right through your lies.
“it didn’t work anyway she just came over afterwards.” you sighed as your sisters eyebrows raised. “oo did you two have hot hate sex?” lily asked as your eyes bugged and you smacked her on the arm. “what? of course not!” you scoffed in offence with a deep seeded frown.
“please if you think i didn’t know the two of you were more than friends once upon a time then you’re even more of a moron than i thought. harry and i have known for years!” your sister chuckled as your mouth formed a small o in shock at the reveal.
“how?” you questioned with a frown. “well firstly because you didn’t just deny it-“ she started as you groaned. “and secondly you were both horrible at sneaking around. the shared love bites alone were enough, you’re just lucky mums so oblivious.” she chuckled as you sighed, head thumping back on the pillow.
you’d told her way back then that both you and alessia had decided not to be friends anymore after she kept going to college from you, but you’d never told her the true nature of your relationship.
“why didn’t you ever tell me that you knew! especially after i came out!” you shoved her in annoyance. “i figured you’d want to leave it in the past. plus with dad and everything you had enough going on without the added stress.” her voice softened as you nodded.
“so she came over afterwards? are you two working it out then?” lily asked curiously as you shook your head firmly. “not like that. but we are slowly working on building a friendship back.” you revealed as your sister squeezed your shoulder in a silent understanding.
“well that’s nice then. but come on, if we don’t go and mingle soon i fear mum will send in a search party.” your sister rolled her eyes before you helped her up, the two of you making your way outside, greeted by cheers as you were passed from old family friend to friend giving pleasantries and half sincere smiles.
and that’s exactly how alessia found you as the russo’s arrived, the sun already setting as they made their way around the side of the house, gio and luca bickering as mario warned them to drop it.
they were a little later than everyone else, as arsenal had just won 4-1 with a lunchtime fixture much as alessia had encouraged her family to come here and she would meet them later they never missed a match where they could and she was grateful for their undying support.
as her family dispersed to greet everyone alessia’s eyes of course found you first, a soft smile coming to her lips as she watched your head go back with a laugh at something.
long gone were the days the two of you would hide away from everyone up in your room, it had seemed time had busted you right out of your shell as the blonde watched you effortlessly and confidently engage in conversations with everyone, joking around and waving your hands about as you clearly told some sort of story which had the group around you in stitches.
but well aware that the two of you were trying to go slow alessia chose purposefully not to go to you first, instead making her way around to those who she knew saying hello. she found herself engaged in a heated conversation with her brothers and a few of her dads friends about the match which just passed, playfully taking the mick out of them for the fact they were spurs supporters and that’s who she’d just beaten.
“lessi darling have you eaten anything since you played?” your mum interrupted, grabbing her arm with a smile as alessia shook her head. “well we can’t have that. come with me!” alessia laughed as she was lovingly dragged inside where the rest of the food was, chatting away with the older woman as she piled a plate high with it.
“mum for god sakes stop force feeding people!” alessia’s head turned as you appeared, stepping through the back door with a playful roll of your eyes. “she hasn’t eaten and she’s just played a full match! let your mother be a mother would you.” the older woman swatted at you as you grinned,
“heard you lost, what a shame.” you sighed toward the older girl who rolled her eyes. “no it’s not like golf, remember the team with the most goals wins!” alessia quipped back, thanking your mum with a kiss on the cheek as the woman placed a stacked plate of food in front of her.
“boring.” you shrugged, sending her a smile and offering her a drink which she accepted, your mum excusing herself back outside. “you went to a sold out semi final of the world cup without even knowing the rules of the game, and as an english woman. you’re lucky you didn’t get your head kicked in on the train home!” alessia laughed after she’d swallowed a mouthful of food.
you chuckled at that and retorted that you were not anyone’s favourite person that next day at school especially your very torn up very australian students. but the comment did have you thinking back to that night, where you had to see her for the first time in years and she didn’t even know you were there.
your coworkers had all but dragged you to the match, and despite not being a football fan you didn’t live under a rock. you knew alessia was in the england squad, your social media had been drowned in friends and family all posting and sharing about the teams extremely successful tournament.
englands love and pride for football ran deep and despite being in another country it seemed you just couldn’t escape the beloved strikers face following you around.
it had been the same for the euro’s however you’d been able to try and avoid that as much as you could with that not being something many australians bothered about. but with this tournament happening on the same soil you worked and lived on, it had become ten times harder to ignore it.
it had taken two days of stress and panic for you to actually come to terms with the fact that you’d be seeing her again, even from hundreds of metres away up in the stands, kept safe by the four walls of the corporate box you were all being treated to. your coworkers had forced you into a matilda’s jersey however you made a point of buying an england scarf as to not entirely betray your home country.
it had comforted you to know that at least alessia wouldn’t know you were there, and unlike every other time you’d supported her at a match in the past her eyes wouldn’t meet yours with a cheeky grin and a point in your direction when she scored.
that didn’t however stop you from cheering when she did, you were after all still very proud of the team and knew what this would do for womens sports even if you weren’t personally a die hard football fan. the cheers which were very quickly silenced by the murderous glares of the australians surrounding you in the box.
“you wore an australian jersey?” alessia gasped in disbelief as you revealed that to her. “i was trying to fit in! i had an england scarf.” you defended yourself with a laugh, the two of you sat on opposite ends of the lounge after alessia had finished eating.
“traitor to your own country.” alessia tutted making you roll your eyes before the blonde let out a large yawn, quickly covering her mouth as her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. “sorry!” she apologised, shaking her head as if to wake herself up a little.
“don’t be. i was actually going to head home pretty soon, do you want a lift?” you offered hesitantly, alessia assuring she didn’t want to be a bother. “you’re not, pretty sure everyone’s made a point to tell me you only live a few minutes down the road. and I’d like to get out of here before they break out the karaoke!” you joked as alessia couldn’t help but nod in agreement, accepting your offer.
it took the two of you a further hour to say your goodbyes, the time now ticking over past eight in the evening you accepted the boo’s and the jeer’s that you were bailing early, brushing them off with a smile and a hug.
promising carol you’d come over soon and see her properly you finally made a break for the exit, alessia following suit as you made a beeline out the door and toward your car.
“they don’t ever get tired of making the point we grew up and aren’t thirteen anymore huh?” you laughed as you both buckled up. “oh look at you! so grown up! so beautiful, looking just like your mother!” alessia cooed sarcastically, reaching over to squeeze your cheeks and shake your head back and forth as you laughed and swatted her away.
it was almost scary how easy it felt to slip back into this light banter with her, chattering away as if no time had passed it surprised you how effortlessly the chips had fallen into place.
though despite that your walls were still very much so up, and you knew there were certain topics of conversation you’d avoid with her, and you still wanted to take it slow.
“hey this is really random, and please feel free to say no. but do you want to go get ice cream? there’s a gelato place not far from my apartment and i’ve kind of been craving it lately.” alessia asked apprehensively, fiddling with her hands.
“weren’t you just yawning a few minutes ago?” you chuckled, not catching the way alessia’s face flickered into disappointment for a moment before a smile quickly tugged at her lips.
“but hey who would i be to say no to ice cream.”
~
“this is me just up here.” alessia pointed as you nodded, driving a little down the street until you found a park. “you really are quite close, i could have walked from my place.” you smiled as the two of you got out of the car.
“the winds picking up and it’s supposed to rain tomorrow you might want a jumper or something.” alessia noted as you nodded, opening the back door and frowning at the empty seats.
“oh my jacket!” you remembered with a groan as realised you’d left it at your mums house, and of course it was one of your favourites. “dressed inappropriately for the london weather, remember you’re not in australia anymore!” alessia teased as you closed your door with a huff.
“i had one! i left it at back at mums place.” you sighed, wrapping your arms around yourself as indeed the wind had picked up. “typical. wait here.” alessia rolled her eyes playfully, stopping herself from inviting you inside well aware that might be a little too soon.
“less its fine i’ll warm up as we walk!” you called after her but the stubborn blonde dismissed you with a wave, glad to be facing away from you as she hurried toward her front door, hiding the smile which wound its way onto her lips at you again not calling her by her full name.
progress.
“here.” the striker returned a few minutes later, holding out a large charcoal grey coat in your direction, having slipped on a hoodie underneath the puffer jacket she was wearing earlier and tied her hair back into a low bun.
“your arms are so long.” you shrugged it on with a huff and rolled up the ends of the sleeves making alessia laugh. “not my fault i had a growth spurt and you’re the same height as when you were twelve.” the blonde smirked causing you to push her with a roll of your eyes.
“i am not! i’m barely a head shorter than you.”
“wow i didn’t realise heads were a metre long.”
“at least i know the size of my own legs. i saw you fall over before!” you grinned, the blonde indeed having tripped over the leg of a chair and tumbled down to the ground, relentlessly ribbed by her brothers for it she had been grateful no one else had seen.
or so she thought.
“thank you though.” you spoke more sincerely, definitely grateful for the barrier from the icy sharp poke of the london evening wind.
as the two of you walked it took every single ounce of your restraint not to focus on the fact that the coat smelled like her and that her scent had changed over the years from how you remembered it.
no longer was it plagued with notes of bergamot and lavender, or her infamous green apple shampoo. now you found yourself drowned in the faint but still ever present aroma of what was likely a rather expensive perfume, much more floral and light but still with some woody undertones, like how the ground smelled in spring after it rained.
it seemed ridiculous to say but she smelled rich, and yet still just as ever alluring as she had when you were younger and you’d steal her hoodies. relishing in pretending that she was with you in bed on nights where the two of you had to be apart, the blonde away on some sort of football tournament or camp.
if anything that made it a little easier to just tell yourself it was someone else’s coat given the unfamiliar aroma, to delude your poor overworked mind that you didn’t notice that you could still find yourself in a drunken haze on how intoxicatingly comforting it felt to wear her clothes, which had always hung off of you in the most ridiculous ways given your height difference.
because you wouldn’t dare to fall back into that trap, you couldn’t.
“can i try that one please?” alessia asked politely with a smile, pointing to a rocky road flavour as your eyes surveyed the counter, biting down on your bottom lip as your options ticked over in your head.
“oh yum. hey try this.” she nudged your shoulder with hers and held out the half eaten spoon toward you without a second thought. you knew she hadn’t meant anything by the casual gesture, the two of you had always shared food or drinks without a care.
but now, with your walls up and already struggling to pull your head out of the hazy fog caused by the fact you were wearing her coat and drowned in her smell, the simple gesture felt far too familiar for you to accept.
so you shook your head, pushing it back toward her and avoiding her eyes you felt look toward you. “can i please get a scoop of the caramel peanut butter and one of the cake batter please? in a cup.” you requested with a smile toward the young girl serving you.
“can i get a scoop of the rocky road and the cookies and cream please? in a cone.” alessia ordered her own, moving toward the counter as you were preoccupied with reading all the other weird and wacky flavours in the small but seemingly busy shop.
with you distracted she wasted no time paying for both of them with a simple tap, thanking the girl and grabbing both her cone and your cup, chuckling at your sweet tooth and making her way to you.
“that’s not fair! you payed for coffee too.” you scowled once you realised what she’d done, the two of you sitting down on a small table outside. “you can pay next time then.” alessia smiled over her ice cream causing you to roll your eyes.
“so do you have a busy week? though that’s probably quite a stupid question given your job.” alessia asked and quickly clarified with a sheepish chuckle.
“you’re not wrong. but they’re actually a great group of kids, a couple i have to keep an eye on but i love teaching them at this age. they’re just starting to learn and develop opinions and big feelings and watching that and encouraging it is so rewarding. much as those big feelings can sometimes be very overwhelming.” you laughed and suddenly realised you were rambling, a slight blush covering your cheeks.
“sorry. but no my weeks okay? I actually have monday off because they have an excursion and i drew the lucky card of not having to chaperone.” you sighed happily, as much as you did adore your class to wrangle over 40 kids in an environment outside of the school was often a nightmare, so you weren’t upset at missing out and having a three day weekend.
“did you really draw cards?” alessia asked with an amused smile. “no we draw names out of a hat.” you teased before explaining there was a rotating roster of which grade teachers had to attend each excursion.
“but a three day weekend means rory is dragging me out tomorrow night. which feels illegal given it’ll be a sunday!” you chuckled with a shake of your head, your long time friend forever trying to harass you into going out with her had meant she’d capitalised on this opportunity as soon as you’d make the mistake of mentioning it.
“what about you?” you switched the focus back to alessia who paused to swallow her mouthful of ice cream. “a few of the england girls are around london for an award show tonight so we’re going out tomorrow night to catch up. though for some reason they’ve decided to let tooney plan it so god knows what we’ll end up doing!” alessia rolled her eyes with a smile.
“award show? look at you, the little football mad girl from Kent going from mud wrestling and slumming it in the boys team to living it up in london rubbing elbows with celebrities.” you grinned as the two of you decided to start walking back.
“hardly, it feels so odd. people knowing who you are, wanting your attention or an autograph, knowing you’ve made their day even just by giving them a wave. you ride out the highs but then there’s the lack of privacy and all the media assumptions and the news articles and the criticism of every single match. i’m so incredibly grateful for all of it but sometimes its a little much.” alessia admitted with a sigh.
“i’m sorry i can’t even begin to imagine how that feels.” you empathised with the taller girl with a small frown. “i don’t even think i know how it feels. one day it’s the best job ever and you’re getting silverware and praise and the next you miss one kick and feel like you’ve let an entire country down.” alessia continued with a wince.
“social media would really make it worse huh.” you winced along with her at the thought of the millions of trolls which could hide behind the anonymous natures of theirs accounts. “god you have no idea. it was really bad when all the contract negotiations were going on with united before i moved to arsenal.” alessia sighed as you listened intently.
“everyone was telling me what to do or assuming what i was doing and that would lead to another news article speculating about my future and suddenly everyone feels the right to tear down everything. my football, my family, my weight, my appearance, everything. and it felt like i couldn’t escape it anywhere, even my own teammates were questioning what i was doing and where i was going if not with united but without a contract signed with arsenal yet because of the transfer window i legally couldn’t tell anyone what was happening.” alessia vented, the two of you finishing your ice creams as you dumped your empty cup in a nearby bin.
“sorry! that was…look its in the past. but yeah, social media sucks.” alessia caught herself becoming overtly emotionally at the memories and quickly breezed over them. “hey that sounds awful and i’m really sorry you had to go through that, but less don’t diminish the fact it felt horrible. people can be so cruel and cowardly on social media.” you grabbed her arm and gave her a smile so soft it had alessia’s knees wobbling.
“thank you. if anything nowadays it just drives me to train harder and play better, the best way to shut them up is by proving them wrong.” alessia shrugged, wrenching her eyes away from yours for fear of drowning in them.
“wow well it’s comforting to know all those years of torture kicking footballs at my head was worth it then.” you smiled bumping your shoulder into her. “mmm yeah using you for target practice really paid off, thanks!” she bumped you back with a grin as the two of you arrived to your car.
“text me when you get home safe yeah?” alessia asked with a slight frown as you nodded, unlocking your car and shrugging off her coat, folding it neatly and handing it back to her. “they have these crazy things called heaters in cars now.” you joked before she could offer for you to keep it, not wanting to entertain the thought.
“thank you, that was nice. catching up and stuff!” alessia smiled, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. “yeah it was.” you agreed sharing her thought, as nice as it could be for exes who suddenly decide after six years to try and be friends, nothing weird or hard about that at all.
a silence fell between the two of you, both sizing the other up and very clearly unsure how to end things. did you hug? did you both just part ways? did you say goodbye?
you both obviously picked up on the slightly awkward tension and chuckled shyly, and then with a few more moments of silence alessia decided to go for it well aware of a potential rejection.
she stepped toward you and opened her arms slightly, clearly hesitant as you paused. but then your arms were wrapped around her and your face was pressed into her chest and alessia held her breath for fear if she even moved slightly you might disappear.
your body filled with a warmth you’d not felt in years as her taller form wrapped around you in a tight hug, the double layers of clothing covering her only bringing more comfort as you could have melted into her.
but your walls suddenly sprang back up and you pulled away, sending her a rushed smile and a quick goodbye before slipping into your car as she made her way to her front door, watching as your car pulled off and disappeared around the corner.
busy driving you failed to see your phone light up with a notification as you turned your music louder to try and distract your mind from overthinking.
@alessiarusso99 has requested to follow you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
chapter nine
641 notes · View notes
pupmkincake2000 · 4 months
Text
Characters study?
Since I play as Gale, I wanted to look at relationships from his side and from my own, since I think that Gale and I have very similar beliefs regarding relationships.
Don't get me wrong, I love Halsin,
Tumblr media
he's an incredibly kind and caring teddy bear, but being in a relationship with him is not for everyone. And there are moments in the conversation with him that were very unpleasant for me. But I’m glad that he warned me in advance how he perceives a relationship with someone.
Yes, there are many people who are into polyamorous relationships, but I don’t think Gale is one of them, despite the opportunity to sleep with Halsin even when playing as Gale (I think that in this case some lines should not be available at all as it was with the Dark Urge, when you cannot resist your nature, even when playing a good character).
Now I will explain why.
Halsin honestly admits that monogamy is not for him. He considers us someone special, in fact, declares his love, but immediately says that we are not that special at all and he, even having entered into a relationship with us, will still be free to sleep with other people.
His words are not a lie, but they seem to contradict each other.
That is... there are more people who want to be something special, who want exclusivity from those they are dating than those who would prefer polyamory, I believe. In the case of Halsin, you will simply be just one of his huge number of lovers, and, perhaps, in another couple of decades, he will say those words about love and specialness to someone else, as he spoke to us. It's not mine cup of tea, to be honest. I am a selfish person, and I would like to be special for someone I love. And I really didn’t like that Halsin, without even knowing whether such a relationship suits me, says he hopes to sleep with the person I am dating too. This remark made me understand that although Halsin is still my type of men in appearance and character, he absolutely does not fit into my understanding of relationships, love and specialness. Let me remind you, I play Gale's origin and I am sure that Gale would also refuse and be disappointed.
Just like Astarion. And I will now explain why.
Literally Gale's entire problem and trauma is based on the fact that he wants to be loved,
Tumblr media
he wants to be cared for, seen, considered special (which in the case of Halsin will be impossible), he wants to be visible and significant. I know that playing his origin you are still able to choose any lines but... if you play Tav and romance him, Gale does not agree to share his love with someone else and does not agree to be shared too. I believe that Gail is monogamous, and not just monogamous, but he won't allow the thought that his loved one could be with someone else or that he himself could be with someone else while already being in a relationship. Such people rarely fall in love, they are like the wolves Halsin spoke about, who choose a lover for the rest of their lives. And no, I don’t think Mystra was such a lover. I'm sure Gale wants in a relationship not so much exclusivity, but to have something of his own. Something that no one can take away from him. Someone only his.
The same story with Astarion.
Tumblr media
He hasn’t had anything of his own for 200 years, and despite his mannerisms and flirting with everyone, he also wants to have something of his own, something that no one will take away from him, and something that will belong to him and to no one else. He is also desperately looking for someone who will be his. Only his. Yes, he agrees to a threesome, he agrees to share his lover with Halsin, but he clearly does not want this and agrees only because he is afraid of losing his love. He refuses to have sex with the drow twins, and if you agree, he will most likely end the romance with you. He is very afraid of not satisfying his lover; he wants to be desired and loved. He and Gale are very much alike when it comes to the relationship, although their reactions are different. Both want exclusivity. One speaks about it directly, the second one shouts about it with his behavior and body language.
I think that's why I love the ship so much.
Tumblr media
They both want the same thing, they just express their desires differently.
415 notes · View notes
eddiesghxst · 6 months
Text
PRICE OF FAME (PART 8/12)
Tumblr media
18+ — MINORS DNI
pairing: rockstar!eddie x journalist!reader
summary: eddie is bad with words
contains: enemies to lovers trope, smoking, drug and alcohol use, sexual themes, moreee jealous!eddie, mentions of piercings, smut, King James III, flirting, tension tension tension, and eddie being... idk, here u go <3
word count: 6.2k
| previous part | next part |
| series masterlist | -main masterlist- |
Tumblr media
“A date?”
The room has kicked into an orderly chaos compared to how it was just seconds ago. Richie is rallying the boys out of the room, an assistant is walking through with a trash bag to clean up the disastrous aftermath of pre-show rituals, and James is looking at you like you both have all the time in the world.
“Yeah, I mean… we don’t have to call it a date,” he shrugs, “we can just… hang out, maybe? Grab a bite to eat, maybe? Whatever you want.”
And oh god, Eddie was right.
And fuck— Eddie.
You scan the room for any sign of Eddie, but you find none, just the remains of smoke in the air and an irritated assistant picking up sticky bottles.
James’ hand has dropped from your waist, and his fingertips now lightly dance across the back of your hand, slinking around to grasp two of your fingers and give a light squeeze. Your heart races, eyes snapping back to his kind gaze. “Oh, um… okay, yeah.” You nod.
James smiles and tells you he’ll be out in the crowd with you in a little bit, and you nod before making your way out of the room. 
You said yes.
You said yes to James’ date, and honestly, a small part of you is excited because, god, it’s been such a long time since you’ve been on a date.
It’s hard to find time to date when you’re busy jumping from band to band, writing articles and music reviews, and still, somehow, managing to balance your own home life.
However, you were also under the impression that you and James had more of a friendship than anything romantic, so a bigger part of you is shocked (and slightly annoyed that Eddie managed to catch onto it before you did).
And then there’s that feeling. That tiny feeling in the corner of your mind that just wishes it was Eddie who had asked you. It’s a small feeling, yes, but it has a loud voice, and you find yourself growing irritated that you’re even thinking about Eddie when he only ever made things difficult.
But is it wrong to want somebody who doesn’t know what they want for themselves? Is it wrong to want someone who can’t even bring themselves to look you in the eye and be honest for one minute?
Because it’s no secret, the chemistry brewing between you and Eddie, from the moment you met, there was an obvious attraction, and the only thing that got in the way of that was Eddie’s aversion towards your job— which is beyond your control. 
And though there’s obviously a sexual attraction between you both, you can’t seem to deny the emotional connection you also share— because you and Eddie are more alike than what meets the eye.
Clearly, you both share a love for music, but you also grew up with similar experiences— from being teased for being and liking different things than your peers to having your heart broken by who you imagined would be your forever person.
God, why are you thinking about Eddie when you’ve just scored a date with James? 
You’re not paying attention when you step out of the dressing room, so you’re shocked and slightly spooked when you feel a hand wrapping around your bicep and tugging you off to the side of the door.
It’s Eddie; you know it’s Eddie because you’ve become an expert at depicting Eddie’s scent, and right now, you’re drowning in him. 
Eddie’s eyes are sharp and angry with a chilling undertone of something you can’t quite pinpoint. Fear? Jealousy? Resistance?
“Not into each other, huh?”
You blink at Eddie, still trying to find your way through the daze of events you’ve just gone through, and your eyebrows furrow in annoyance, “Oh, for fucks sake, Eddie. Are you serious—” “You can’t stand here and lie to me when I just witnessed whatever the fuck that was in there.” He gestures to the wall beside you, the wall that separates you and Eddie from James.
“It wasn’t anything.” You lie. 
Eddie doesn’t buy it, however, because he’s leaning in closer, alcohol and mint-coated breath fanning across your face as he calmly asks, “Then what did he say?”
You shake your head, dizzy with his proximity and the fear that James could walk out any second and see you and Eddie practically pressed against each other and misread the situation— because even though you may not precisely like James romantically, you still care for him, and you don’t want to hurt his feelings. 
How will you let him down easily after the date, then? What if the date goes well, and James thinks you’re more interested in him than you actually are? This is a mess, and your mind is a whirlwind of things you shouldn’t have done.
You blink through the haze once again, “Huh?”
Eddie’s jaw ticks, “What did he say to you? You looked shocked; what’d he say?”
Oh god, Eddie saw that? You thought he’d maybe have gotten bored of watching, and now you wish Richie had bursted through the doors just a few seconds earlier. And why do you even care? Why do you care that Eddie saw or what his reaction might be if you tell him the truth? 
Your heart is racing, and Eddie’s eyes are beautiful, and he’s still holding your arm, and you hate how much you want to scream at him to just let you in. Because, suddenly, you don’t want to go on a date with James, even if James is the kinder route, the more willing candidate, the one that makes more sense.
“Why do you care, Eddie?” You snap.
“Because I,” Eddie pauses, frustration settling into his bones. He looks at you like you might be the only thing he’s ever truly seen, and you don’t realize how your fingers are curling around his elbow, both of your fingertips sinking into the warmth of what could be.
“Eddie!” 
Eddie removes his hand from you as if your skin is hot to the touch, and you drop your hand as well, curling your fingers into the palm of your hand and clenching with a deep breath.
Eddie turns to Richie, who’s holding a clipboard and barking directions at staff and crew. “Come on, man, you’re on in 30.” Richie waves his hand.
Eddie turns back to you, dark eyes now cleared and holding urgency as he speaks, “Can you just— fuck,” Eddie tugs at his curls, and your face twists in confusion. You say his name at the same time that Richie calls him once again, and Eddie grumbles, “One second, Rich!” Eddie calls back.
“Just don’t go anywhere for the first few songs, okay?”
“What?”
“Eddie, 10 seconds!” 
And Eddie’s pacing backward as he speaks to you, “Just the first few songs. Please?”
Please. You never thought you would hear that word coming from Eddie— and your stomach twists, but you nod anyway, and then Eddie’s off to the stage.
For some reason, tonight has spun out in ways you’re having trouble wrapping your mind around, and you barely hear James walking out of the room until he presses a gentle hand to your shoulder, pulling your eyes to him.
He has your lightweight jacket in one hand as he offers it to you, “I was thinking maybe we could dip out now? I know a good place for burgers, and I figure we’ve seen the show plenty of times now— I mean, unless if you’d still like to watch, that’s not a problem,” He’s rambling, and you find it cute, so you reach out a hand to press to his arm and thank him for your jacket.
And you feel bad, glancing over your shoulder as you hear the crowd screaming upon the band's entrance, but you figure James is right— you have seen the show plenty of times, so one night off won’t hurt, will it? And besides, it’s not the big finale yet, so you’re not really missing anything.
You nod as you slip on your jacket, “Yeah, let’s go; I’m in the mood for a good meal anyway.”
Tumblr media
James’ universe is fun and bright and spontaneous, all things he is. It’s something you find yourself admiring as you watch him jump from game to game at the arcade he dragged you to after dinner.
You were both full and satisfied from heavy burgers and fries, and James decided you both needed a way to shake off the food coma; and, as James said, “What better way to wake up than lose money in a bunch of rigged games?”
You start strong with a winning streak in Mortal Kombat, Daytona USA, and Star Wars, but you eventually lose your stretch when James crushes you in Dance Dance Revolution. You made him go a second time, but you still lost, and James called your frown cute, and it made your stomach twist because— fuck, this is a date. You aren’t here as just friends.
You make your way around the arcade until you both decide to call it a night and wrap it up with a few rounds of Pac-Man. It’s chillier in the city tonight, so James takes it upon himself to haul over a taxi to take you both to the hotel.
It’s nearing midnight when you and James walk into the hotel lobby, well past the ending of the show, and you’re holding your breath all the way to the elevator, silence taking over when the doors shut. And tonight was fun and lighthearted, and you’d hate to end it on a dull note.
You should just rip the bandaid off. Do it quick and get it over with so you don’t mislead James, because god, he’s such a good guy, and you’re just… you’re all confused with yourself and— fuck, James is looking at you, just do it.
“I think we should just stay friends.” You rush out.
If James is surprised, you wouldn’t be able to tell by a long shot because he’s simply shoving a hand in his pockets and shrugging, “Yeah, I kind of figured when you avoided holding my hand.” He scratches at his neck, and you fail to hold back the sympathetic twist on your face, “I had a really great time, I did, but I just can’t do anything serious right now…” You shyly explain, and James nods his head.
It falls awkwardly silent, and you curse Richie for booking the entire crew near the top of the building because the floor numbers seem to change slower than the seasons. James breaks the silence just four floors away from your destination, “It’s Eddie, isn’t it?”
You freeze at that, head snapping to look at James in shock, “I— what?”
James shrugs for the second time and turns to the doors, “I kind of clocked it as soon as you joined; you two have some weird thing going on.” He halfheartedly teases, and you feel your body heating up because if James can notice it, then who else has noticed it? God, this is more of a mess than you thought.
“Nothing is going on there,” you lie, “Not sure if you’ve noticed, but Eddie hates my guts, so.” You jokingly shrug. James laughs to ease the tension, only glancing back at you when you slow to a stop and the doors open, “I had a fun night, too, by the way. No hard feelings.” And with a wink, he wanders off to his room, and you’re left stepping out into the hallway. When you turn the corner, you find yourself wishing the floor would open up and swallow you whole because right outside of your door stands Eddie Munson.
He watches you walk down the empty hall until you stand before him. He’s leaning a shoulder against your doorframe, one hand tucked in his pocket as the other works his cigarette back and forth from his lips. He’s in his usual all-black attire, and his eyes are dark beneath the smudged eyeliner and eyeshadow from the show. And it seems as if he got off the stage and came straight here, seeing as his hair is still slightly damp with sweat and the chains on his neck stick to his chest.
He speaks around a cloud of smoke, dark hooded eyes peering down at you with a gaze so sharp you almost cower, “Where were you?”
Jesus Christ, the audacity of this man.
Your initial thought is to snap back at him and ridicule him for being an asshole— and what’s his deal with always coming to your room? But then you remember you walked out on him when he’d asked you to stay for the first few songs.
“I’m sorry, Eddie, I—” “You went on a date.”
You freeze at that, blinking up at him as your face twists in confusion, “How do you know that?”
“Because where else would you be?” He counters.
“Maybe I got sick.” You argue, and Eddie raises an eyebrow, eyes dancing over your figure, “You don’t look sick.” He points out.
Your eyebrows pinch in frustration as Eddie takes another hit of his cigarette, “What do you want? I already said I’m sorry— which is much more than you’ve ever done, by the way.” 
“I said sorry.” Eddie snaps. Eddie snuffs out his cigarette in the large plant next to the door as you scoff, turning to angrily shove your keycard into the door, “What, that shitty apology in the garden alleyway? You call that an apology? How fucking dense are you?” You open the door, moving to step in until Eddie’s fingers wrap around your arm, turning you back to him, “I said sorry. An actual apology, I did it, and you weren’t fucking there to hear it.” He seethes.
And woah, what the fuck does that mean? You weren’t there to hear it? What does he mean?
You blink, head shaking in confusion as you gaze up at Eddie, brows furrowed, eyes searching for an answer as you ask, “What do you mean?”
Eddie’s eyes are so beautiful, with swirling pools of forest ground and the tiniest specks of honey, and you believe somewhere within his eyes lives a fairy that gives him that ability to pull you in every time. He’s a hypnosis of a human, and it’s dangerous the way you can’t seem to fight through it.
Your eyes flutter shut when Eddie leans close enough to graze his lips over yours, and your heart races in anticipation of a kiss, but you can physically feel Eddie holding himself back.
“Eddie,” you lowly say, “What do you mean?”
Eddie turns his head to where his lips kiss the skin of your cheek, breath tickling the warm skin and sending shivers down your spine. He lets out a shaky breath, squeezing his eyes tight and muttering a curse under his breath as your hands slink up his chest to curl into the fabric of his shirt. The soft, curly strands of Eddie’s hair dance across your lips, and you want to scream because every inhale and exhale of your lungs is full of nothing but Eddie.
His name prances across your tongue once more, and Eddie cracks.
Eddie cracks wide open; one last hit of your hammer, and he’s putty in your hands, mouthing at you as if his life depended on it, devouring you and breathing you and pushing you until you have nowhere to go but inside your room.
“I’m sorry,” Eddie mumbles against your lips. “I’m sorry… let me make it up to you.”
You’re breathless and dizzy from lack of air, and Eddie is pushing you back onto the hotel bed, “I— what?”
Eddie’s fingers slip under your top, cool fingers pressing into your warm skin and causing your breath to hitch against his lips, “Let me make you feel good.” Eddie whispers against your lips.
And fuck, this is insane. 
This is insane.
Just a few hours ago, you would’ve shoved Eddie away from you and told him to eat shit, but for some reason, with the way Eddie’s touching you and talking so gently, you find your body melting into his touch as you nod your head. “Yes?” Eddie seems like he doesn’t believe it, and your stomach twists as you clench your thighs together, nodding once more, “Yes.” You confirm.
Eddie kisses you once again, hastily and eagerly, as his hands push your top further up your torso. Your muscles tense and twitch beneath Eddie’s calloused fingers, and Eddie hums against the softness of your mouth, panting against your lips as he repeats, “Gonna make you feel good. Make up for what I did.”
You breathlessly laugh, “S’gonna take a lot more than this, Munson.” 
And although you were slightly serious with that comment, you suppose Eddie takes it as more of a challenge as he shoves your top entirely over your chest, pulling away to tug the shirt off of you and toss it to the side.
Eddie surges forward to press sloppy kisses against the uncovered skin of your chest, sucking tiny little marks as he moves further down your body, pressing a hand to your chest to push you down into the bed when he reaches the waistband of your skirt.
It’s a black denim skirt, and Eddie takes a moment to admire how they hug your thighs perfectly— and he can’t seem to bring himself to remove it from your waist, so he pushes the skirt up around your hips instead. Your heart is racing, and you can’t help the heat that rises to your cheeks as you attempt to close your thighs, but Eddie places his palms flat against the warm insides of them.
“Don’t tell me you’re getting shy on me already. I haven’t even taken off these cute little panties of yours.” Eddie presses a thumb to your cotton-covered clit, dragging the pad of his thumb down your slit and pressing into the damp spot. Your breath hitches, sparks flying throughout your body, and Eddie smiles. You whine, “I thought you were apologizing.” You frown.
Eddie hums, leaning forward to press a kiss right where your thigh meets the fold of your pussy. You squirm, and Eddie snickers, “I am.” He responds.
You sit up to lean on your elbows, glaring down at him between your thighs as you speak, “You’re not. You’re just teasing me.” You point out.
Eddie doesn’t respond as he hooks his fingers into the band of your panties, drags them down your legs, and drops them to the side, gaze flickering up to yours as you clench your thighs together. Eddie holds your gaze as he wraps his arms around your thighs, hooking his hands into the dip of your waist and tugging you to the edge of the bed. Your center throbs in anticipation as Eddie sinks to his knees on the carpet floor, dark eyes still locked onto yours as he fits his upper body between your thighs.
And Eddie doesn’t even bother looking between your thighs when he dips his head in and begins devouring you.
Eddie, you find, eats pussy like he has all the time in the world.
He’s sloppy with it, lapping at your center and suckling your clit until you’re a whiney mess beneath him. His fingers curl into the denim skirt that’s bunched around your hips, and his rings tauntingly wink up at you under the light as he clenches his fist against the material, tugging you closer to him so he can thrust his tongue further into you.
While Eddie is busy tasting you, you scramble to reach behind your back and unhook your bra. Between your thighs, Eddie watches as you toss the garment off to the side before cupping your tits in your hands and rolling your nipple between your middle and forefingers. Eddie moans against you, burying his face deeper into you and suckling enough to have you crying out in pleasure.
Eddie pulls back for a moment, sticky strings of his saliva and your arousal dripping from his lips as he removes one hand from your waist to sink two fingers into your cunt. You pant out his name, your face twisting in pleasure when he curls his fingers up against your walls. Your eyes are screwed shut so you don’t see Eddie leaning forward to purse his lips together and let a drop of saliva drip over your pussy and sinfully coat your clit. He’s quick to attach his mouth to the throbbing bundle of nerves, and you reach out a hand to thread your fingers through his hair, knuckles curling at the root to drag an animalistic growl from Eddie.
Eddie is one of the best, if not the best, head you’ve ever received. By the time you begin teetering over the edge, your thighs are twitching and tensing as if you’ve already come undone, and your chest is heaving beneath Eddie’s fingers as he toys with your tits.
When you cum, Eddie becomes greedier than he’d been before, licking and slurping up every last drop you have to give until you’re twitching away from him and pressing a shaky hand to his shoulder. 
Eddie slinks up your body, sinking his fingers into his mouth to clean off your wetness before you slink an arm around his shoulders and pull him down to kiss you. Eddie’s fingers are wet as they cup the left side of your face, and the feeling of something wet on your face would usually have you cringing in distaste, but you only moan and press yourself further into Eddie.
You mumble for him to take his shirt off, and Eddie follows swiftly, too eager to go back to kissing you. He shivers when your hands meet his bare chest, fingertips exploring the vast expanse of untold stories in ink, hard yet plush muscles of his arms flexing beneath your touch. 
“I wasn’t done saying sorry.” Eddie pants against your lips, and you breathily laugh, “You can finish some other time; I want to feel you now.” You respond, busying your hands with trailing down his lower stomach, sinking past the waistband of his leather pants.
Eddie kisses his way down your neck to begin sucking pretty bruises into the skin, and your core clenches when you realize Eddie is wearing nothing beneath the leather pants— and you try hard not to imagine how he’s probably been pressed up against the rough fabric, achy tip undeniably receiving pleasure from the sinful ways he uses his hips when he’s on stage. 
Your shock doesn’t end there, however, because when you sink lower to wrap your hand around his cock, your body goes still at the feeling beneath your fingertips. Against the fiery skin of your cheek, you feel Eddie’s lips stretch into a smile and your heart races.
“What’s the matter, princess? Find something you like, hm?” Eddie can’t help the way his voice shakes near the end because you're giving his cock an experimental squeeze and running a finger over the sudden surprise.
You smile as you speak, “Is that a piercing?”
Eddie hums, turning his head, nose smashing against the side of yours as he presses a kiss to the side of your mouth, “Maybe..” He teasingly confirms.
And god, you might pass out.
Eddie’s dick is pierced. You’re not sure what more you’d expect from a rockstar, but you’re still shocked and ushering him to remove the annoying restriction of his pants.
When Eddie finally gets rid of his leather pants, you’ve shifted to sit on your knees in the middle of the bed, and Eddie stalks over to the edge of the bed, beckoning you over.
You don’t waste time crawling over to him, eyes stuck on the pretty sight before you. And sure, it’s not the first time you’ve seen a pierced dick (you’ve spent too much time working with rockstars), but it sure as hell is the first time you’ll be fucking one— not to mention his cock is perfect. It’s shaped and cut to perfection, something you’d expect from a pornstar, but Eddie is not a pornstar, and god, the sight of the metal barbell nestled right beneath the pink tip on the underside of his cock— it’s dizzying to see.
You peer up at Eddie, wrapping a hand around his cock and stroking him once, chest fluttering when he fails to hold back a moan. “It’s really pretty, Eddie.” You softly say, and Eddie sheepishly and breathlessly laughs as you squeeze at his tip. “Want you to fuck me with it.”
Eddie groans, muttering a curse as he leans forward to press his lips against yours, pushing you until you’re crawling back up the bed to lay beneath him.
“I’ve never been with someone with a piercing…” You admit, and Eddie smiles at you, and your stomach twists when he reaches down to gently guide your movement up and down the length of his cock.
“Really? You’ve never fucked a pierced cock before?” He manages to say through his pleasure. Your teeth dig into the inside of your cheek as you shake your head no, and Eddie snickers when you ask, “Have you?”
His lips quirk into a smile, “Honey, you think I got the piercing done without a test run on how it feels?” He jokes.
You snort at that, and Eddie beams at you. You swipe your thumb over his leaking tip, and Eddie curses, watching as you mindlessly bring the glistening pad of your finger up to your tongue and hum. 
“How’s it taste, sweetheart?” Eddie teases, and you hum as you respond, “Good. So good, wish I could taste more—” “No, no, no.” Eddie cuts you off with a shake of his head, reaching down to wrap a fist around himself.
“This isn’t about me. Plus, I’m losing my patience right now; I’ve been thinking about this since I fucking met you.” He presses himself flat against your pussy, and you gasp, fingers digging into his shoulders as he rolls his hips to slide himself up and down your wet cunt, the cool metal of the piercing catching onto your clit and sending shivers up your spine.
His gaze falls between your thighs to watch as your slick centers meet, cursing at the way your wet folds part around each drag of his cock. “You have such a pretty pussy, princess, fuck.” He rasps.
Your mind is spinning with the roll of Eddie’s hips, his dirty compliment, and his admission that he’s thought of fucking you before. You don’t dare to tell him you’ve thought of it too or that you’ve gotten off to the thought of it. You don’t even have to think about it because the tip of Eddie’s cock is catching the slickness of your entrance, and you’re gasping, body jerking in pleasure. Your lips accidentally smear against Eddie’s shoulder, and he hums, tilting his head and dipping to catch your lips in a sloppy kiss.
As he distracts you with his mouth, he slowly presses into you, and you lose your ability to keep up with Eddie’s lips because holy fuck— Eddie is bigger than you thought. Sure, you got a good look at him when he removed his pants to show you his surprise, but your mind must’ve been too muddled with lust to clock the size of him.
You can feel everything as he sinks into you, every vein running up the sides, and the mind-numbing sensation of the barbell as he presses into you. “Holy shit,” you breathlessly whisper against the skin of his shoulder, legs tightening around his waist as the burning yet toe-curling feeling settles in. Eddie snickers above you, “That good?”
You’re coherent enough to snap back at his cockiness, “No.”
Eddie laughs, and you want to make a snippy comeback, but it gets lost on your tongue when Eddie gives his hips one experimental roll.
Tumblr media
Eddie is pathetically close to cumming.
Eddie’s cock has only been nestled within your warm, wet, pulsing walls for barely two minutes, and he’s about to blow like he’s a goddamn teenager— and it doesn’t help how heavenly you sound and look writhing beneath him.
Eddie’s not sure where to look; your face, your tits, or the hypnotizing sight of your cunt sucking him in over and over with each thrust he gives you. “Fuck,” he curses, “You’re taking me so well, princess.” He leans in the nose at your cheek before licking at the curve of your jaw, shivering at the wet moan you pant into his ear.
“Been hiding this pretty pussy from me?” Eddie hums, sucking a delicate bruise right below your ear. And god, Eddie could spend forever like this, drilling into you and marking you everywhere and pulling these pretty sounds from you. Eddie’s so close, oh god.
You mewl at his words, hips squirming as Eddie snaps his hips into you, “No,” you whine, “You’ve been mean to me.” And Eddie thinks you’re awfully cute when you’re blissed out and pouting. And your eyes are glossy, lips slick with spit and swollen from kissing.
Eddie wishes he had a photographic memory because he doesn’t want to forget a single detail of this moment. Eddie has one hand clutching the sheets beside your head as he lets the other hand coast up your side to land on your chest, thumb brushing over your nipple to pull a moan from you. “I know,” Eddie lowly replies, “I’m sorry, princess.” He kisses your chin, and you clench around him.
Eddie’s fist clenches around the sheet, fighting to hold himself back as he presses deep into you and stills, cock twitching within your walls. “Gonna let me show you how sorry I am?” He asks.
You're hazy and cockdrunk, and Eddie can’t wait to unpack the fact that you go braindead when you’re fucked good. Eddie nudges himself into you, although he’s pressed all the way into your cunt, and you whimper before eagerly nodding.
“Yeah?” Eddie teases. You nod again, fingers digging into Eddie’s arm as you speak, “Yes, Eddie— fuck. Yeah, show me, please.”
Eddie almost loses it.
It’s slightly scary how much Eddie likes this, how much he’s enjoying this— the feeling of you beneath him, the wetness, the heat, the sweat-sticky touches, and the sloppy smattering of kisses. God, Eddie’s in love with it.
The short five-second break Eddie managed to pull from questioning (teasing) you was enough for him to get ahold of himself. Eddie sits up and grasps the back of your knee, hauling your leg over his shoulder to get a better angle at fucking you, and you gasp when his cock rubs against your spot.
Eddie doesn’t waste time once he gets the position situated. He leaves one hand splayed beside your head to hold him up as the other hand grips the warm flesh of your thigh before resuming his thrusting, this time at a deeper and quicker pace.
The sound of skin meeting and the wet sloshing noise of sex echoes through the room amongst the mix of moans and sultry-soaked remarks. Eddie doesn’t notice his hand slipping from your thigh and slinking up to wrap around your neck, but he hesitates when you whimper. He almost removes his hand, but you wrap a shaky hand around his wrist and nod— and fuck, Eddie will never be the same man after this.
Eddie can feel the heat and the pulse of your heart as his fingers tighten around your neck. Your moans are becoming more and more frequent and higher in pitch, and Eddie can feel the way you’re fluttering around him more sporadically, and he can’t wait to feel it when you cum.
Eddie leans over you, lips brushing your parted ones as he encourages you to let go, “Come on, let me feel it. I’m not leaving until you soak my cock, princess.”
Tumblr media
Your body is on fire.
It’s almost alarming how easily and well Eddie has unraveled you. His presence is nearly overwhelming with the way he’s hovering so close over you, but you love it— the tickle of his long curls on your shoulders and chest, the intoxicating smell of him, the dizzying hold he has around your neck— you preen for it.
You’re so close when Eddie tells you to cum, and you barely have enough time to prepare for the earth-shattering orgasm that ripples through you the second Eddie presses a thumb to your aching clit and rubs tight circles against it.
Your body tenses, and your moans crack upon the surface as you melt into him until you’re nothing but a quivering mess. Eddie talks you through it, tells you how pretty you sound and how good you feel wrapped around him. Your orgasm had hit you so hard that you barely registered the broken moan that came from Eddie before he pushed deep into you and emptied every last drop of himself into your pulsing heat.
Eddie curses, his cock pulsing within you, and you let out an exhausted yet satisfied sigh when he rolls his hips into you once more. You’re both silent for a long moment as you come back down to earth, Eddie’s forehead pressed against your shoulder as you subconsciously let your hand run up the side of his torso.
Eddie shifts to turn his head to where he can slightly see your face as he still hides against your shoulder, “Apology accepted?”
Tumblr media
Saturday morning, the next day, you wake up and want to bury yourself under the hotel sheets.
Last night was… interesting, to say the least. It was good— mind-blowing— but you still have that lingering feeling in your chest that maybe you and Eddie shouldn’t have slept together. Maybe you let him in too quickly. Maybe it was all a lie, Eddie’s ‘apology’. All the gentle caresses and the passion-filled kisses with the heart flutter words. Maybe it was all for show, just to get you to let your walls down so he could have at you.
Eddie didn’t spend the night with you.
In fact, Eddie practically ran out the door after your extremities were over, and you were left with the aftermath of spinning thoughts and an aching chest. So much for sorry.
The dining room is buzzing with chatter and laughter of excitement— today is the last off day before the final show of the residency— but you’re too in your head to join in on the conversation because Eddie won’t even look at you.
Your throat feels tight, and you spend the majority of breakfast just pushing your food around the plate, and you manage to pull a smile and nod your head when Naomi asks if you’re okay. But fuck, you want to scream.
You should’ve never believed Eddie when he told you he’d change or when he practically spent the entire night worshipping your body and begging for your forgiveness. Eddie didn’t want forgiveness. He just wanted to fuck you, and you should’ve known that from the second he kissed you.
But Eddie’s kisses can tell a hell of a lie, and damn you for falling for them.
You’re spooked when you feel a hand rest on your shoulder, pulling you from your thoughts. It’s Richie, and he peers down at you and gives you a tight-lipped smile as he leans in and lowly speaks, “Can I speak with you outside?”
You nod, dropping your fork onto your plate and quietly rising from your chair. And for the first time today, Eddie looks at you. Your chest tightens, and you think it’s stupid that you’d been upset about this because it’s Eddie for fucks sake. He’s a rockstar, and he surely never made the mistake of presenting himself as if he was anything other than a man who fucks whoever they want and moves on the next day. Eddie’s jaw ticks, he looks away, and you bite your tongue as anger floods your body.
You ignore it as you turn around and follow Richie into the hallway.
You’re hardly paying attention when you both step out of the room, but the slamming of the door is the cue for Richie to start speaking. “Listen, Birdie,” he begins, “You know I adore you. I’m always in your corner, no matter what… But I have to put my boys first.”
It’s concerning, the way Richie is beginning this conversation, and it’s even worse when he can’t seem to look you in the eye for more than five seconds at a time. Your heart rate picks up, and you begin to think maybe…
No, Richie can’t know. There’s no way he’d know, right? Unless if someone told him. One of the band members, or James, or— fuck, there’s too many people that know at this rate. But you didn’t think it would reach Richie.
No, you’re just spinning out. Richie doesn’t know, and this is about something else; it has to be.
You shake your head, brows furrowed as you speak, “I’m not sure I understand.”
Richie glances around the corridor and shifts in his spot, scratching at the back of his neck as he speaks, “Listen, I uh,” he glances at you, and your heart drops because you now know why he’s pulled you aside. 
“I know about you and Eddie.”
————
part nine
————
a/n: hiiii, you made it to the end !! IM SORRY FOR ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER FRIENDS, i promise there won't be anymore from here on out (i think hehe), BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS SMUTTY LITTLE PART, thank you for reading, ilysm and i appreciate all and any feedback <3
————
cutie lil taglist: @mastermindmiko @whataboutbibi @ryanmxrie @ihatepeanutss @tlclick73 @motherfckerrr @emxxblog @jesssssmaybankk @eddiesguitarskills @bibieddiesgf @chloe-6123 @micheledawn1975 @demxnicprxncess @emma77645 @sidthedollface2
@daddyhetfield @s-u-t @hereforshmut @mmunson86 @welcometohellsock @lma1986 @birdsinmywalls @animechick555 @sheneedsrocknroll92 @spideydreams00 @lorosette @prestinalove @sirensleepingsoundly @nabiiturner @catherinnn
702 notes · View notes
vetteltea · 5 months
Text
Love Will Always Show | CL16 & CS55
Tumblr media
Summary: The choice of a lifetime is yours to make, your husband and lover both longing for your heart. They face conflict, choices and most importantly, one another.
Word Count: 8.4K [& a bit more]
Warnings: angst, mentions of cheating and dishonesty, manipulation, hospital talk.
Note: The fact I was a newbie to F1Blr when this started and now...here we are. I want to thank each and EVERY person who has ever read this series. It's changed everything for me, it is truly my love letter to you all and I hope you enjoy the finale. You are all forever in my heart and I cannot thank you all enough.
PART 1: A House, A Home | PART 2: Where Do We Go? | PART 3: ‘You Think, You Know’ | PART 4: 'Love Will Always Show'
Tumblr media
Love is a gentle hand cradling your back. 
Time had suspended when your body had collapsed onto the rough floor outside of the Scuderia Ferrari hospitality. Immediately, several scarlet-clad personnel were running over, shouts echoing across the open space, somebody mumbling that they needed to get you somewhere safe and warm before your body temperature dropped dangerously. 
There’s a question of who to call; your father wasn’t in the country, ever since your mother’s funeral, he’s become silent, your siblings having been lovingly sent to stay with a close aunt. He had been absent from the previous Ferrari meeting, his assistant having sent a message to say he would be absent for a little longer. Clearly, the death of your mother was taking a toll. 
The next obvious choice of course, was your husband. However, with the win that he had been craving for oh-so-long, he was currently wrapped up in press, endless ‘congratulations’ messages from celebrities and presenters alike. Nobody would know where to find the monegasqué right now, let alone how to tell him of his wife’s status whilst surrounded by endless television cameras and sly reporters. 
There’s no need for him, anyway. Leaving the media pen after vigorous questioning of his loyalty to the team and his current emotions on a premature end to the race, Carlos’ dark eyes quirk to the side, registering the crowd of bodies circling the hospitality area. They only widen when the realization dawns on his clouded mind that it’s you, your body is the one thing they are all crowding around. 
His steps break into a run, no signal being given to his media manager nor his cousin. He speaks a few sharp, spanish words, creating a break in the circle, able to insert his toned body into the sea of red, immediately squatting, one hand coming out to elevate the back of your head. He knows how particular you could be with your hair, how you insisted on now sleeping on silk pillowcases to keep it healthy. Asphalt ground was not comfortable nor hygienic. 
There’s talk; talk about whether to take you to the hospital, whether to wait for your husband to return and make the decision. Carlos feels his blood curdle at the use of marital status. His teammate, the man who had treated you no better than the way he had treated bonds of trust, was the one to make a choice of your health and wellbeing. 
He simply cannot stand for that. 
“We need to take her to the hospital.” He interrupts the commotion, the strong tone settling over the panicked employees. “Surely that is the best place for her if she is unconscious, no?” The whispers and mumbles which echo the surrounding members of the team signify agreement. 
There’s a discussion of how to bring you in without drawing attention to the media. Surely, if a giant ambulance or even a medical car was to storm through the paddock, no doubt endless media outlets would be creating headlines before even bothering to speak to anybody present. The Spaniard is already making his own choice, using his arms to gently adjust your body.
He shouldn’t; he really shouldn’t be moving you, not when you haven’t been checked for broken bones or concussion. Yet, the idea of the most beautiful girl, Mariposa, lying on a hard floor with no form of comfort or safety sickens him to his stomach. Carlos is still gentle with the movements, letting your head lean into his stomach, one hand is supporting your back, tanned fingers digging gentle patterns into the curve of your skin. The other one traces once, twice, three times around your cheekbone, dark eyes transfixed on your features. 
You must have hit your skin when falling to the ground; there’s a graze dancing across your cheekbone, specks of dirt resting in between each knock. The man cradling you is gentle, moving his shirt just enough up his body that he’s able to take the hemmed end, feather it across your cheek in an attempt to remove the offending chunks. 
Someone nudges Carlos’s shoulder, more in an attempt to tell him somebody was just outside the Paddock; that they could drive you to the hospital right now. He…he can’t bring himself to leave you. A strong grasp lifts you from the ground, holding you close to his chest, murmuring that he would get you there, and he supposed somebody would have to find Charles. 
The area grows quiet; Carlos’ pace draws away from the Paddock and to the back entry. He was thankful that the entirety of the drivers were still either trapped in the media or with their own teams, celebrating or commiserating. He had enough of that for one day; an entire six laps was barely worth speaking about. 
You’re still unconscious, still limp in his arms. However, there’s a rise and fall of your chest, you’re still breathing. That’s all he could ask for at this present time. He silently promises himself there and then that when you wake up, he’s making his final move. Where Charles has been playing chequers, he is playing chess; he had proven that even whilst you were stuck with your estranged husband, he would love you regardless.
There’s a people carrier in the car park, he’s certain he’s seen various drivers use it before; a built-in stretcher lies in the back, it’s ideally a discreet ambulance. The media could be brutal with gossiping when any driver had to leave the track. It would look worse if Charles Leclerc’s wife was seen leaving the paddock with his teammate. The driver of the vehicle nods when seeing the two get closer, stepping to sit in the driver’s seat whilst Carlos adjusted his grasp. 
He lays you down onto the stretcher; it’s secured, you’ll be safe for the drive. The man can’t help but feel a draw of protectiveness over you. What on earth had caused it to collapse? Had he done something? Blood boiled, if your husband had done anything to cause this, he could personally guarantee that Charles would not be finishing any races for the remainder of the season. He would make sure of that. 
His attention is caught by the glimmer of silver on your left hand; your wedding band. When he reaches the car, tucks you into the seat carefully and makes sure the seatbelt is secure around your frame, his fingers glide over your hand, removing the band and putting it in his own pocket. 
‘It’s for your own good,’ he tells himself. ‘If your fingers swell up, they may need to cut it off.’ He could tell himself this story a thousand times; it doesn't hide the fact that his true intention in this moment is simple; for once, he could be the devoted husband, taking his wife to be nursed back to health. 
The Spainard leans down, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your forehead, murmuring that you were going to be okay, that he would stay with you the entire time. The driver shouts, telling him to take a seat so they could get there before the press figured out something was wrong. He kisses your skin once more, before closing the doors, sprinting to the backseat, throwing his body in carelessly. 
Angst overtakes his senses, shouting at the driver to start the car, he doesn't care about being strapped in. This way, he’s able to lean over the backseat, one hand reaching out to clasp at your own. You need to know that somebody is there, that he is there for you. He’s always been there for you. The car pivots out of the parking space, beeling for the main road and to the hospital. 
Love is a scream for your name. 
“Charles, tu dois ralenir!” Joris is insisting he needs to slow down the car; turning the current Leclerc in hospital into a duo would not be a satisfying outcome. 
Ever since he’s been told, all your husband can see is red mist. One Ferrari employee had sprinted up to him whilst he was in the midst of cameras, the grin on his face as he’s finally able to seek his wife out, wanting nothing more than to skip on the Scuderia celebrations and take you instead, your beaming smile radiating the energy he had been bathed in. 
It’s funny how life can change in the matter of a few moments; one second, he’s on top of the world, the next, Charles is pushing through every media outlet, fan and celebrity, barging himself into his driver’s room. He doesn't have time to remove his fireproofs, to pick up any of his belongings apart from his car keys. He isn’t communicating, french profanities fall from his lips, shaking his head in rage that nobody could find him to tell him. Tell him that his wife had been taken to hospital. 
Joris had been the one to sprint after him; he knew better than most, when Charles saw nothing but mist, there was no getting to him, not whilst he was determined to do something. The driver knew in his heart his best friend was not to blame; after all, he had no idea of your disappearance, he had been with Charles almost the entire time. And yet…he can’t bring himself to even speak to Joris. Not until the duo make it to his rented car, Charles is adamant he is driving. 
He only starts speaking when his best friend tells him to slow down. The driver barely does, only drawing to a slower pace when he sees the traffic lights start to build in front of him. Even in a panic, he respects road rulings. Drawing to a stop, the man finally has a second to take a shaky, unbalanced breath, angry tears pooling at the bottom of his eyes. 
“Why did nobody tell me my wife was at the hospital?” His voice is strained, he’s clearly holding back tears, whether they’re angry or fearful is a different question. “She’s my- she’s my wife!” He can’t stop repeating it, as if it’s a prayer. His wife. His wife. 
“She’ll be okay.” Joris knows that’s quite possibly the worst thing he could say to his best friend, but it’s the only thing he can bring himself to say. “She will be. C’est juste par précaution.” 
“Putain!” Charles’ words are sharp, immediately pressing on the acceleration as the light switches to green, overtaking three cars in a matter of moments. He’s a man of regret, he has been ever since he realized how much he adores you. In that moment, he can’t help but think of everything he could have done differently that afternoon. He could have come and found you right after the podium, could have given you his jacket and told you to stay in his driver’s room, he would come and get you after. He could- he could of-
He could of waited with you after the funeral. He could have come and picked you up from Milan when you went to spend time with Carlos. He could have deleted his mistress’ number, and told her he was married. 
“Tourner à gauche.” Joris tells his best friend to turn left, the Hospital Car Park coming into view. Charles turns the car, immediately eyes are roaming for any space, anywhere he could put the car. A sharp whistle and point from his best friend shows him a space right by the Emergency Department, parking the vehicle in possibly the worst way he ever has done. Within three seconds, the engine is switched off, seatbelts are unbuckled, and he’s shouting to Joris to pay for the parking, he needs to get inside. 
For a driver, his sense of direction is becoming worse. It takes him a solid minute to read a sign, before his legs break into a sprint, skidding into a bustling Emergency Room. There’s old men, leant over in pain, convinced they’re dying. A child snuffling, masses of paper towels on her head. A woman with a twisted ankle, her attention engrossed by the magazine in her grasp. It smells of hand sanitiser and bleach, the yellow walls are hurting his eyes. 
A woman behind the desk taps the counter, drawing his attention. “Hey- Sir!” She snaps. You can’t blame her; it’s hour thirteen of her fifteen hour shift. “You can’t be in here unless you’re hurt-”
He shouts your name. It’s as if he completely forgets he’s in a building. Charles is embedded in a maze, even if a lady in front of him can pull up your immediate location, he needs to find you himself, and he needs to find you now. 
It isn’t until Joris comes in, having heard his best friend scream your name, that he overtakes Charles so overcome that he’s now hiding his head in his hands, unable to say anything that wasn’t your name. His ears prick up when the second man starts speaking, giving the woman your first name, your last name- Leclerc- and when you had been bought in. There’s a light tapping of the keyboard, she tells Joris you are in the department round the corner, room ten-
Charles is gone before she can finish her sentence, catapulting down the hallway, dodging round endless people, frantically searching for doors with numbers, not names. He sees the number four. Six. Eight. 
Number Ten rolls into view. Without a single word, his hand latches around the door handle, pushing so violently the door smacks onto the inside wall. His eyes immediately fly to the bed, you’re lying there, so unconscious, still so beautiful, some strips over the graze on your cheek. Still, arms to either side, one hand connected to an IV, clearly in an attempt to rehydrate you. His first question is the location of your wedding ring, where on earth was it? Has it been taken away? It’s a question he completely forgets about when his gaze travels further. 
The other hand is being held by a Spanish man he knows all too much about. 
Love is notes left on a coffee cup. 
Both men stood, silently hovering over your body whilst the nurse came in to run a course of tests, check your blood pressure, the IV line, make sure you were being cared for in the best capacity. Each held a coffee cup, Charles’ still primarily full, he couldn’t stomach anything; he felt sick from seeing you lie here, not laughing, smiling, speaking. Carlos had downed the drink bought in by Joris in a matter of moments; to him, it was fuel. Something to keep him awake until you woke up. 
Whilst Charles was the one to ask questions; ‘Do you know what caused this? Is she going to have any long-term issues? Does she need any assistance when she wakes up?’ Carlos has captured the marker which has rested alongside the clipboard of your notes, his tongue poked out in concentration. The marker grazes along the cup, leaving a note, drawing a tiny picture of a butterfly- Mariposa- and placing the cup on your table, a silent message for if you woke up and god forbid- he wasn’t there.
The nurse draws away from your body, diverting her next task to the two men. 
“I need to continue the examination but…” She looks to the door. “I cannot have you both in here. You need to wait outside, the Doctor will come in for further tests-”
“Can one of us wait here?” Carlos is the first to interrupt, the look on the woman’s face tells him he’s made a mistake. 
“Both.” She clarifies, pointing at himself, then at his teammate. “One and two. You need to wait outside. If she wakes up or there’s any…issues, we will let you know.” 
It turns out, both men are hesitant to leave you; Charles moves first, crouching by your side, running a gentle hand over your hairline, pressing his lips carefully to your temple. He’s murmuring, french words of adoration and comfort, that he will be right there when you need him. 
When one steps away, the other comes forward. Carlos doesn't say anything, instead tracing a gentle finger across your cheek. His touch tells you everything, it speaks volumes. He loves you, he’ll be outside, don’t be afraid to come running into his arms like you had done once before. The nurse begins to lose her patience, ushering both men out into the corridor, telling them to sit in the plastic chairs provided or go somewhere else; she really didn’t care. 
The scene is reminiscent of two boys sitting outside of the principal’s office; Charles’ head hides in his hands, leaning forward, still dressed in his fireproofs. He’s tied the sleeves around his waist, the dark undershirt now drenched in sweat from the driving, both on track and to the hospital. 
He feels movement next to him, Carlos’ hand dips into his pocket, pulling out something small, silvery. Her wedding ring. He supposes Carlos means it as a sign of goodwill, that he kept it safe. In the Monégasques mind, it’s the fuel to light the fire. Scoffing, he snatches the jewelry off of his teammate, placing the band onto his pinky finger, it’s the only one it would fit on, the only way he could keep it safe. 
“Funny. You took it off her.” He’s growing mad, aggravated that Carlos wouldn’t just go away and leave him and his wife alone. Hadn’t he done enough already? “Why don’t you go back to Natasha?” The blonde ex-media woman for their team is referenced. Carlos opens his mouth, ready to snap back, it was a low blow for Charles to reference his history with the woman. 
“I know what you did.” He huffs. There’s something…different. Different in the way he speaks to Carlos now compared to every other day. The polite, civil conversation is gone, the fact he couldn’t pass judgment because of his own actions has evaporated. “I know you invited her to Madrid just to make a move.” He remembers seeing the instagram stories, how your eyes were wide, full of life. He made you remember life is beautiful. “You kept her close. You wanted her and didn’t like that she was mine.” 
“Yours?” He scoffs. “She’s not your property, Charles.” 
“No. But she’s my wife. I’m the one she lies next to every night, I’m the one who will care for her in sickness and health, who’s shoulder was leant on through every bad time.” He pauses. “Who picked her up after you coaxed her into your bed.” He laughs. Actually, laughs. The memory replayed in his head, how sleepy you looked as he guided you back into the SUV, how your heart sank when seeing the blonde approach his front door. In that moment, you had convinced yourself you meant nothing to Carlos apart from lust. 
Charles was a jealous man; he had taken pride in stripping off his teammates' clothing, wrapping you in his own, soft hoodie. You were his. Carlos wouldn’t care for you the way he did, he was a man too full of lust. He was convinced the Spainard didn’t make you laugh, didn’t make you smile, didn’t make you come- 
“You corrupted her, Carlos.” He finishes. “I know what you did-”
“-And I know what you did.” Carlos snarls. He doesn't care about anything more; he knows all too well that his teammate could go crying to the Ferrari bosses, have him removed from the team in a blink of an eye, throwing some false information out which he would have to comply with. But he doesn't care. His affection has grown too strong for that. 
“I know everything, Charles.” He’s monotone, he’s stating facts. “I know how she waited at home for you on her birthday, whilst you were in your mistress’ bed.” Carlos remembers asking you about your plans the previous week, how you had brushed them off. “I know how she made you dinner every night, how you refused to eat it.” Charles feels his stomach drop, the endless leftovers stacked neatly in the fridge, the meals he had never bothered to try. “I know on your wedding night, you came into the hotel room drunk, covered in bites and she slept on the sofa-”
“Enough!” Charles’ voice shouts, standing up from the plastic chair in the corridor. He doesn't have to hear this, he can’t bear to hear this. One mistake a day was something he was always able to brush off. Hearing each and every one of his infidelities laid out in front of him sent his mind into overdrive. “You have no right to comment on-”
“On what?” The Spainard is standing up now, chest out and arms folded. “On your marriage?” He laughs, he smirks. “Can you call it that? A marriage is a bond between two people who love one another-”
“I love her!” Charles cuts him off, stepping closer. “I love her.” He repeats himself. Carlos looks gobsmacked, shaking his head in denial. 
“You have a really weird way of showing her you love her.” He continues to poke, to prod. “Sharing a bed with another woman is not how you show love-”
“I admitted to my mistakes!” He’s quick to defend himself, how the restraining order was placed and a lawsuit filed, how he promised if you wanted to know anything, see anything, he would let you. How he would spend the rest of his days always feeling dread and regret. “I fixed them-”
“Who says she still loves you?” Carlos has snapped.
Charles hates to admit that he may be right. Is it really fair for him to expect your love after everything that has happened in the past year? It didn’t matter how many times he begged, he pleaded or promised. The man you had married had spent the better part of 365 days in the arms of another woman, a woman that as he stood here, clinging onto any hope of his marriage, meant absolutely nothing to him. 
His slim fingers trail down, circling the cool band which rested on his left finger. He had decided there and then, he would keep it on, always. There would be no more reasoning, none. If Lewis could wear his earrings, Charles would wear his wedding ring. He looks back up, Carlos still boring into him with dark eyes, the anger he radiated almost entirely visible. 
“Do you love her?” He presses. He needs to know; he doesn't bring himself to care that you had spent a night in his arms, not when he had done it to you a thousand times over. The idea makes him sick, but nothing compared to the idea that you are in love with somebody that isn’t him, not when he needs nothing but for you to come home, back to your home with him. 
Charles swears he feels vomit rise into his mouth when Carlos nods. He’s not stupid, not really. He knows how he fell for you properly in the past few weeks, how for Carlos who has been in awe of your affection and attention, the center of every race weekend you had reluctantly attended. It may have been to support him, but you could still enjoy the fact that Carlos would be there, too. 
Your husband isn’t sure what he wants to do anymore. If there wasn’t an examination happening, he would have run into your private room and locked the door. Instead, his glassy eyes gaze up, catching Carlos’ dark ones. It hits him at once; his teammate, somebody who he once considered a close- no, best friend, was the one who had taken his wife away from him. His brain can’t catch up with his body movements, the red mist clouds over once more. 
Charles Leclerc punches Carlos Sainz in the nose. 
He doesn't intend for it to be a strong punch; Formula One drivers are a lot stronger than they realize, and the contact not only causes the Spaniard to knock back, shouting out in pain, but a sharp sensation rockets through Charles’ clenched fist, wiggling his fingers as they relax. Carlos’ nose is immediately red, becoming scarlet by the moment, though no blood has fallen. Your husband’s immediate reaction is ‘Should have punched him harder.’
He doesn't have time to think about anything else, not before he has two strong hands on his chest, shoving him harshly. The sudden sensation causes him to lose balance, falling to the floor and landing on his back. A shock radiates through his body, Carlos looming over him, clearly ready for a second punch. 
That thought is drawn away when the door to your room opens, both men immediately staring at the nurse, her hair worn and eyes tired. Before either man can throw a question at her, she speaks. 
“She’s still not awake, we’re going to bring her around in an hour, but she’s going to have to stay overnight for observation. If one of you could get her some overnight things-”
“I can.” Charles immediately cuts off the nurse, pulling himself to sit up and stand from the floor. “I’m her husband. I will get them.” It’s a subtle jab to the man in front of him, Carlos still holding his nose, convinced it was about to start bleeding any moment. He would have gone and sought out attention for himself, if he hadn’t felt a sharp vibration in his back pocket, a phone call. In any other time, he would have ignored it. But he knows who it is, he knows how important it is. 
Without a word, Carlos answers the call, rapidly speaking in Spanish as he walks down the hall. 
Love is a pocket square at the bottom of a suitcase.
The contrast of Charles leaving the hospital was night and day to him arriving. He hadn’t spoken a word to Joris, apart from expressing that he needed to go back to the hotel to get your overnight items. Although it was barely a ten minute drive away, every minute felt like a century; he wanted nothing more than to go back to the hotel, sit by your side and hold your hand until you woke up. 
He could have sent Joris back, given him the room key and told him to grab some things, but it didn’t seem right. The idea of his best friend going through your suitcase didn’t sit comfortably with him. Moreover, he didn’t know. Charles knew; he knew what pajamas you found the most comfortable, what outfit would be easiest for you to travel back in, how you wanted your panties and socks paired together and how your phone charger had to loop clockwise. 
The ornate hotel room looks dull without you; your suitcase still rests in the bottom of the wardrobe; you had hung up evening wear, dresses for the inevitable after-parties. Folded in your suitcase remained your other clothing. Charles is quick to select his items; the tropical cotton pajamas. You had bought him a pair in the same fabric, telling him that they would be the comfiest thing to sleep in. Your stitched jumper and comfiest jeans. You had worn those jeans when you had tagged along to his photoshoot for the Ferrari livery, holding his water and the APM Monaco jewelry he couldn’t wear. Your outrageously expensive hairbrush. You had brushed his hair through after a particularly bad race, whispering promises that it would get better, that the car was going to evolve for him, the best driver on the grid. 
Bile rises to Charles’ stomach and with no warning, he sprints to the bathroom, dropping to his knees by the toilet and throwing up the barely-there contents of his stomach. He had barely eaten, barely drank any water, but couldn’t help the sickness in his tummy. 
He pulls away from the toilet basin, eyes watery, breath trying to catch up with the speed and cries.
Charles doesn't realize it’s happening at first, he hasn’t cried like this in so long; the kind of crying where you can’t fathom words, you don’t make a sound because you’re crying so deeply. The kind where your chest is exploding and your heart feels like it’s going to explode. The kind where all he wants is for his mother to cradle him like she did when he was five, run her hands through his hair and whisper him words of comfort.
This time, he doesn't want his mother, he wants you. 
It’s selfish, it’s so incredibly selfish and it hurts to know that it’s taken him until now to realize what you mean to him. It would never happen, but his wound-up head can only close his eyes and visualize you running in, pulling his head into your chest and running your hands through his dark tufts, pressing cool lips to his forehead and promising him over and over that it was going to be okay. You were going to be okay. 
He lets himself cry for five minutes; he times it because he wants to collect your things and make his way back, Joris was waiting in the car. When the five minutes are over, he pinches his nose, taking short, ugly gasps until his eyes remain bloodshot but not blurred. The sound of the toilet flushing echoes through the hotel room, making his way out of the bathroom and to the items he had hurriedly dropped atop of your suitcase.
Nimble fingers cradle each item, carefully rolling and tucking them into a pillowcase; he didn’t have a bag big enough to suffice each item and couldn’t bring himself to bring your entire suitcase along, it almost seemed as if once you had it, you could disappear from his life. At least this way, he could have one final farewell if you chose to leave. The items are almost secure, until his grip on the pillowcase folds, glassed eyes catching a glimmer of blue hidden at the bottom of the case. With no hesitation, he pulls on the fabric. His heart drops on the realization of the item. 
It’s a pocket square. More specifically, it’s his pocket square from your wedding. 
You don’t know when you had started packing it, but you supposed it was from your mother’s own doings. After her wedding to your father, she had always carried around her ‘something blue,’ as a gesture of good luck, of safety. After the first time you had found out about Charles’ mistress, you had discreetly tucked the fabric into your bag, carrying it around, a silent hope your husband would return to you. 
It hadn’t worked in Jeddah. In Imola. In Spa. In Monaco. You had reluctantly taken it from your bag one evening, on the plane home from consoling your family, using your pen to doodle in the very corner ‘Mr and Mrs Leclerc,’ a silent fantasy of the loving marriage you had dreamed of. 
That night was the first time you and Charles ever shared a bed. 
The fabric lingers between his fingers, the blue contrasting against the silver of your ring, still resting on his pinky finger. Now changed into his own clothes, he slides the ring off, wrapping it gently in the pocket square and sliding it into his trouser pocket. As he does, he recognises your handwriting, the titles printed in the bottom of the fabric. 
He can’t help the tears rolling down his cheeks once again. 
Love is a desperate telephone call.
Carlos is still pacing around the outside courtyard of the hospital, having been on hold for a grand total of seventeen minutes. He is not a man of patience, he is not a man of quiet. 
The phone buzzing in the corridor had been a welcome call, despite the situation. His lawyer, finally ringing him back after what felt like days of apprehension. He had dipped from the public eye to try and grab hold of some privacy, slipping in his wireless headphone so as not to hold the device to his ear for hours upon hours. 
Almost thirty minutes ago, his lawyer had called him, confirming his thoughts of the previous days. 
"You're not wrong." His lawyer has already clarified it once, twice, three times. "If there is evidence beyond a shadow of a doubt, then it is the correct term for a divorce.
Carlos feels his blood run cold. He loves her, he's as certain as that as he is of the fact that the sky is blue and his win in Silverstone. The man wants nothing more than to make her feel cherished, adored. Taking a bite out of his teammate was just a bonus feature. 
That had been a few days ago, when the anger had surpassed him after Natasha’s return, how that made him look as bad, if not worse than Charles. He’d immediately sent her packing, blocked her on every form of media, gone as far as to insist if she ever came for a visit, he wouldn’t be present. 
The second part, the evidence, had been laid out all too perfectly. 
The line suddenly clicks, signaling his lawyer had returned. Carlos doesn't wait for a verbal queue, the audible sign of his return is more than enough. 
 “Do you have it?” He asks, barely any time to let the man on the other end of the phone respond. “You must have it, no? It should have been sent. I made sure it was sent.”
“I have it.” He clarifies. “I have them right here.” A rustle of paper is heard from the other end of the telephone, content of an envelope being spilled onto his desk. “Are you sure you want me to send these to be confirmed as evidence? That the women in the photographs will not retaliate?”
Carlos had not been entirely honest with you. Not about his knowledge of Charles’ situation. Ever since the confession all those months ago, the understanding that you knew of Charles’ affair, he had been playing a long, patient game. He had photographs, evidence of the mistress’ appearance at each paddock, her arms snaking around Charles’ body, kisses between the duo. How he could continue to do so, whilst you, the epitome of beauty, sat in his drivers’ room, playing the doting wife.  At one point, he had considered going directly to the press, directly to Ferrari themselves to out their ‘Golden Boy.’ 
And then…he had seen you with him in the Paddock that one race, looking through the window of his driver’s room. How your fingers latched onto one another, how genuinely shattered you looked when she had shown up yet again, lingering outside of the hospitality area. The guilt snuck through him, how he had seen her arrive, and yet failed to mention to you, give you any warning of her presence. 
Even if he had been the one to invite her. Even if he had been the one to press her about sending the photographs to Charles, not blackmail. Merely a reminder of his actions, how much he supposedly missed his mistress. 
“She wouldn’t.” He’s quick to respond. “She wouldn’t care.” He’s not wrong, his mistress being in the limelight would only elevate her status, with the way his teammates’ brain worked, it would more than likely draw them back to one another. 
“And Mrs. Leclerc?” 
It’s the first time Carlos has hesitated. Even if he couldn’t admit it to himself, he knew that your relationship with Charles had grown, that ambient it was made paper-thin, the trust was slowly beginning to come back. He thinks about how your eyes blinked widely, in awe of your husband on the podium earlier that day, how it supposedly didn’t matter he had spent most of your marriage wrapped in her arms, you still looked at him like that. Did you look at him like that? Like the way he looked at you. 
This action could draw out a multiverse of reactions but at the end of the day, he had settled with two. The first was that you understood, that you would see the evidence, and understand the case. Divorce Charles and marry him, even if it meant he would give up everything. 
The second is that you would see the chaos he caused and you would never speak to him again. 
“Mr. Sainz?” The voice at the end of the telephone draws him from his questioning, running a hand across his red, swollen nose. It wasn’t broken, but god it was hurting. Bruised, most likely. “I need an answer.” 
He needed to speak to you. 
“Can you just-” He huffs, running a hand through his dark hair, his fingers almost getting caught in the strands. Of course his hair was tangled, he’d been doing nothing but pulling on it ever since he arrived at the hospital. “Let me speak to her. Hold it for 24 hours. You can do that, yes?” It’s not even a question now, nor a request. It’s a demand. He can’t do this, he can’t openly destroy your marriage for his own sake without speaking to you, without knowing for a fact that you love him.
Your name is carved onto his soul, onto his skin. The first thing he thinks about in the morning, and the last thing he would think about at night. There is no life he wishes to live in if you’re not there. Even as his friend. 
There’s suddenly a light tap against glass, snapping the man’s attention from his device. He mumbles something in Spanish, telling his lawyer he would call him back, dreading who was coming out into the private courtyard. 
He visibly relaxes when he sees it’s just a man, sneaking out whilst tears pool on his lower lashline, giving Carlos a warming nod. 
“You don’t mind if I join you, do I?” The Spainard shakes his head. “My wife- she’s just being induced and wanted some space. She’s…” He gestures, trying to explain to a complete stranger how a few minutes ago, his wife wanted to cry and shake her head, but wanted nothing to do with him. It was all his fault. 
Carlos offers a warm hand on his back, patting him firmly. “Congratulations. Do you know what you're having?” He’s invested, anything to distract him from his previous phone call, the weight of a decision on his shoulders.
The stranger grins. “A girl.” He smiles harder. “I don’t mind, as long as they arrive happy and healthy. But god- a girl, just like her.” He thinks. Carlos thinks. In an alternative universe, he’s sat by your side, pressing kisses and praises to your skin, holding you tighter as your daughter enters the world, ready to meet her mother and father. She would be like you; your eyes, hair, smile. It would be another you to love, to adore. 
“Your first?” Carlos presses his question. The man sighs, shaking his head, shoving his hands into his pockets as he looks into the polished corridor. 
“No. She’s…” He pauses. “We got together after hiding how we felt for so long, how we wanted to be with one another.” He looks to Carlos, clearly ashamed and embarrassed of the situation. “I know how it sounds, but sometimes you can’t help it. I- I love her.” 
A band snaps in Carlos’ stomach; love knows no bounds. 
Love is waking up to think of your person.
The first thing you register when you come around is brightness. You’re not in the soft glow of the luxurious hotel room you and your husband had been given, nor the candle-lit bedroom of Carlos’ apartment. No, the light is bright, blinding. An off-white which made your eyes squint. 
Your senses are heightened; the only scent which flares through your nostrils is hand sanitiser and overpowering lilies. Nose scrunched, you attempt to wiggle your body upwards, aware of the IV line pinned into your hand. Panic immediately settled through your tummy, until your eyes flickered to the bag, realizing it was just water, they just wanted to rehydrate you. 
Hesitantly, you wiggle each part of your body. Arms, hands, fingers. You’re able to move, though you couldn’t…you couldn’t remember why you got here. Memories are hazy, you remember Charles’ podium, the way he kissed you so deeply, so lovingly. Carlos’ hand on your waist, pulling you back to stop you from the champagne trickling over your body. You were overwhelmed, overworked and…you guessed it just all became too much. 
You just about manage to turn your body, the first thing you’re aware of is that your cushion smells familiar. Warm nodes, sandalwood and seasalt. It’s a smell you’ve grown all too accustomed to, burying your face into their chest whilst you took refuge in his arms, in a hotel room. Charles had been there, already. His celebrations had clearly been cut short, whether or not it was for show or because he cared. 
The second thing is the coffee cup. Cardboard, the contents clearly already drained, but handwriting etched onto the side in a thick, black marker. The handwriting, the doodle of a tiny butterfly. Carlos had been there, too. 
There’s a sharp pinch on your cheek, fingers reach up to your skin and feel the butterfly strips against you. Immediately, a thousand questions come back to your mind, none of them being answered through your own memory. Instead, the door opens, a nurse in clean, bright uniform walking in, closing the door behind her. She beams at the realization you’re awake, shoulders relaxing. 
“You’re awake!” Her tone is incredibly warm, seemingly very happy you’ve decided to wake up on your own terms. She’s quick to move to your bedside, pressing the back of her hand to your forehead. “How are you feeling? Have you warmed up?” You’re not sure what she’s referencing, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She takes the look on your face as unknowingness, able to fill in the gaps. 
“You collapsed on the track.” She’s trying to get through everything she needs to tell you. “We did some tests, you’re incredibly dehydrated for a start, you need to try and get some rest.” She pauses. “It’s nothing to be concerned about, we have collapses from dehydration every so often, more than you would realize.” Her eyes flicker down, finding it hard on how to phrase the next part of the question. “You also seem…incredibly worried.” You’re not sure how she could tell that from simply examining you, but you nod in confirmation. “Your blood pressure, it’s incredibly low. That’s why you fainted.”
“Yes.” You pause. How on earth were you about to explain the past twelve months to a nurse, a complete stranger? “There’s been some…reasons. You know, for the stress.” Her eyes soften, but the questioning continues. 
“Are you trying for a baby?” You shake your head. “Moving house?” A shake. “Have you…lost somebody recently.” 
You freeze, memory flickering to your mother, how in the midst of fixing your marriage, discovering your affection towards another, she had disappeared from the world. This time, you nod your head, drawing your knees up to your body, shivering. The nurse is quick to wrap a blanket over your shoulders, closer to the answer. 
“I lost my mother.” You breathe out, shaking your head. “I lost my mother, and she’s the only one I can go to.” Now you’ve started speaking, you can’t finish. “I want to make them happy. I want to make him happy.” There’s tears glassing over your eyes.
You want him. You want him right now. 
She sympathizes, she understands. “Sometimes, all you need is for them to tell you it’s going to be okay, right?” She lets her words trail off, turning to the door of your room. “He’s outside. He’s been waiting to see you.”
Your blood freezes.
“Would you like me to get him?” 
You nod before you’ve even realized, your body clearly knows better than your mind. The nurse stands up straight, pacing towards the door as you feel your heart begin to race harder, frantically. She steps out of the room, a minute mumble on the other side, clearly a warning to be incredibly careful. It’s barely a minute before the door swings back open, dark hair and frantic panting. 
You glance up, your heart softens at those eyes. 
The eyes that you, the reader, wanted to see as you glanced to the door.
Tumblr media
GREEN EYES [CL16 Ending]
BROWN EYES [CS55 Ending]
Tumblr media
This is everyone who asked to be tagged! @Mac-daddy-210 @aundercover@barnestatic@omgsuperstarg@chimchimjiminie16@caelum-the-part-time-nihilist @magicalcowboyarbiter @gaslasysblog@junetto @beatrizmel-472 @motorsp0rt@crowdthena@screemqueen@lewislvr@styles-sunflower@itspaddockprincess@adeptustemptations @amalialeclerc @meetmyblondemuffins@formulanando@lorarri@christianpulisic10@gaypoetsblog@thisbitxhs-blog@goldsainz@ru-kru@magical-spit@hrlzy@nooshytushie@gaslysainz@marvel-at-stucky@sugarvibez@adeptustemptations@roseseraj@leclercdream@pjofics@hecatesfavoritechild@poseforme@thisbitxhs-blog @adalynneva @meganlikes2purr @sabrinaselina55 @laneyspaulding19@heavenlyiecreature@pink-teddy-bear@nooshytushie@strawberries-and-racing@milasexutoire@ohthemisssery@florkt@obsessedwiththeideaofyou@ru-kru@myhomeworksnotdone@ineedafictionalman@bregarc@allywthsr@summerslike11@wildcupcake@willowpains@marlenamallowan@leclercloml@katzenwahnsinn@be-your-coffee-pot
569 notes · View notes
morganbritton132 · 9 months
Text
David knows who Dustin is as soon as he walks into the gym for Career Day. Mainly because there’s a picture on Steve’s desk of him but also because the two of them are bickering with each other. Real sibling behavior.
When he gets closer, he hears that they’re bickering about batteries. Apparently it’s always the goddamn batteries.
David is noticed almost immediately and gives a little wave before asking if there’s anything he can help with. Steve pulls him in and then snaps his fingers at Dustin specifically because it annoys him, “Dustin, this my friend, David. Be nice to him and he might find a place for your lizard -“
“It’s an iguana.”
“-while I figure out what the hell is going on over there…. Mrs Bennett, can I help you?”
Dustin goes back to untangling a bunch of wires when Steve leaves so David awkwardly throws out, “I could tell you guys were brothers. You look alike.”
“We look alike?” Dustin says slowly, amused. When David just nods, he adds, “Steve’s adopted.”
“I’m not adopted!” Steve calls from three booths down.
“You could’ve been!”
“I still think you look alike,” David says, deciding to double down on that thought even if it’s not true. They look passable related, maybe. “So, uh. Pretty cool that Eddie came to help you set up. I know he’s - Steve’s mentioned that he’s busy with his….”
David hesitates just enough to acknowledge he doesn’t know what Eddie does only that it sometimes involves a red carpet, “….his movies.”
“Movies?” Dustin says in a tone that clearly says David guessed wrong. He turns around in Steve’s direction and asks loudly, “This guy is supposed to be you friend??”
David thinks to himself, Eddie must work in tv then.
988 notes · View notes
kraeftwerker · 8 months
Text
One thing that we don't talk about enough with fashion trends like dark academia, cottagecore, etc. is that sometimes the pining for those clothes is pining for an era when clothes were sturdy and dependable. The aesthetic aspect of it for me - and the vintage clothing - is in no small part about high quality materials that are fitted to *your* body and will last.
In this essay I will ...
lol but no really! I bought pants from Torrid that had houndstooth pattern, and I didn't think to check the material (i couldn't see the picture very clearly) and was so disappointed when I got them and the houndstooth wasn't stitches, but just ... a pattern on some ponte. Like. The POINT of houndstooth is that it is a clever way for fabric to be made durably.
I'm really sick of living in an era of expensive look-alikes that don't last over a year. Fast fashion makes up something like 25% of global carbon waste. I just want something that is made out of fabric without any petroleum in it. I know it costs more but that's also why we need to pay people more jfc
605 notes · View notes