#just my two cents

[houseofpurplestars]

What really gets me about the sentiment "Don't look away" is that its always used in the wrong context. People may be well meaning, but what they end up doing is flooding the conversation with zionist carnage in a manner not unlike the way zionists *want* their atrocities to be seen.

Rather than thinking, "I must traumatize myself with this image for Palestine," try, "I will not turn my back on the people of Palestine." Watching them die is not enough. Speaking only of their suffering is not enough.

Don't look away when Palestinians resist. Don't condemn them when they fight for their lives and land. Speak for their rights to live and move freely in their own homeland. Do not look away from their life. Palestinians are here, they remain, and they will remain, and they are in the future, and they will live free and happy lives just as anyone else should be able to.

"Don't look away" should not be a call to engage in real life atrocities like its a horror movie. "Don't look away" should be a call to make Palestine the focus of everything. Don't let people FORGET or IGNORE what is happening. You can talk about what is happening without sharing the same ghoulish photos that zionists love.

#just my two cents #while i understand documentation #there is no lack of evidence here #only lack of accountability #zionism is terrorism #free palestine #free gaza #gaza #palestine #i stand with palestine #free drc #free sudan #free yemen #free lebanon #free hawaii #stop cop city

[island-in-the-shadows]

I absolutely get the takes that Oliver never really knew Felix. Just knew some sort of idealised version of him. And there is credence to it. However, I think it's a little bit more complex.

I think Oliver did know Felix. I think that Felix probably told him things he hadn't told anyone else. It's easier to open up to people you've just met about some things than it is to open up to someone you've known a long time. You don't want relatives to know certain things or you don't want them to judge you. We see conversations that they have but we don't hear them. We're not privy to what they say to each other. Why is that? Simple. Oliver doesn't want us to know.

Everything is coloured by Oliver being an unreliable narrator. Felix, in particular, is inexorably coloured by the deep and complicated love Oliver has for him, by his nostalgia, and by his anger and frustration. But it's also coloured by Oliver's perceived possession of Felix.

As much as, from what we see (if we take it at face value), Felix is clearly possessive of Oliver, so to Oliver is possessive of Felix. We see it again and again. Hell, (imo) the ending of the film is not so much about possessing Saltburn as just real estate and social status, etc. as it is about possessing Saltburn as an extension of Felix. And this possession colours the narrative. Even if he's telling this to a comatose Elspeth. In Oliver's mind, his claim over Felix supersedes Elspeth's even though she is Felix's mother.

So it's not that he didn't know Felix. It's that we don't know Felix. We never really do. We see bits of him. But it's because we are not allowed to know him. Oliver does not want us to know him. His Felix--God and human, perfection and foible alike--is not for us. He never could be. Oliver would never allow it.

#saltburn #felix catton #oliver quick #cattonquick #just my two cents #i know it can be interpreted in many ways

[waywardangel-wilds]

Can we talk about how Gale having that conversation with Peeta about who Katniss will choose is a sign that, in a way, Gale has retained some innocence or naïveté that Peeta and Katniss had long lost by then. That’s the only thing that makes any sense to me, because Katniss and Peeta’s minds were in completely different galaxies and Gale was still thinking silly teen boy thoughts.

#just my two cents #the hunger games #everlark #peeta mellark #thg #katniss everdeen #katniss and peeta #gale hawthorne

[apencilandpen]

i think of you more often than i'd like to admit...

#happy valentines day a day late #category is: ships that make me fucking LOSE IT!!!!!!!!! #2/3 otp challenge #song reference: crow - bears den #kanej #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #six of crows #six of crows fanart #just my two cents #my stuff #my post #digital scrapbook #my art #digital sketchbook #artists on tumblr

[upinyourcortex]

I was having thoughts about yellowjackets and taissa, specifically her relationship with jackie, and how the jackie-shauna-tai triangle was mostly projection on jackie's part (and within the fandom), in my humble opinion. I'll even go as far as to say taissa was more respectful of jackie than shauna (and the other girls) ever were in the wilderness.

I mean obviously we can't deny that tai didn't respect jackie's status as team captain at the beginning of s1 with what happened to allie, but I wanna talk about what happened in the few eps before jackie's death.

First of all we have tai breaking up a fight between jackie and natalie, and putting herself in between them, in an obviously protective stance in front of jackie

Then, during dinner before the final argument with Shauna, when Jackie refuses to say grace, who tries to defend her and says she doesn't have to ? Taissa.

When Jackie takes her stuff to sleep outside, who tells her not to, and then immediatly gets insulted ? Taissa. She even looks confused when Jackie goes "don't pretend this isn't what you wanted the whole time", like girl where did that come from ?

Who is the only one trying to get Shauna to talk to Jackie while she's outside ? Taissa.

Taissa was even more respectful towards Jackie's dead body than Shauna was. Taissa was the one who barged in the shed and saw the makeup on Jackie's corpse. She's the one who told everyone that they should burn it, cuz let's be real, Shauna would have continued to play with it like a Barbie doll until it was completely rotten guys. She was also the only one who was viscerally disgusted after realizing she ate her, throwing up when Van told her she ate Jackie's face.

Taissa is a perfect example of a character whose actions contradict her words entirely. In my opinion, she was more of a friend to Jackie in her last days and after her death than Shauna ever was in what we've been shown.

#yellowjackets #taissa turner #jackie taylor #shauna shipman #just my two cents #but i always had a problem with this supposed 'rivalry' and how it was perceived especially by fans #like. taissa never had a problem with jackie #jackie was deeply insecure and scared #and forced to live in an environment that was incompatible with her on every level #(this is not jackie hate btw just an observation) #also hate to mention s2 cuz taissa wise i hate it. at least the majority of it. they neglected my girl

[byler-alarmist]

Unpopular opinion maybe, but I don't see Byler having kids. Like, at all. 🤷

#and not just bc it was harder for gays in the past #they just don't strike me as the type #plenty of gay couples don't have kids #i feel it's common in fandom and especially among young afab ppl to have the kids vision #but just bc a couple are soulmates for life and want to grow old together #doesn't mean kids are part of the equation #i think mike and will would be happier just playing thejr games and maybe get a pet or two #just my two cents #byler headcanons #byler headcanon #byler hc #byler

[spirker]

I actually think Taika here is wearing a perfect Ed-coded outfit and I would have loved to see it in the show.

Ed fishing his leathers back out of the ocean and putting them back on to go get his man is all about him reconciling Ed and Blackbeard - the two parts of his character that have felt in opposition in the past but are finally able to come together to fight for love.

So the leathers are the right outfit for him to be wearing when he chokes out those soldiers while reading his love letter - he’s wearing Blackbeard’s clothes, he’s ‘being’ Blackbeard, but he’s being spoken to as Ed by Stede through the letter, he’s being told how loved he is by the man he loves. So it’s a moment of reconciliation with that leather outfit.

But this moment here, when they’re standing on the porch of the inn, looking at each other so softly? Yeah, Ed is wearing his leather jacket, he still likes some bits of the old Blackbeard look and he knows he looks good in it.

But Ed also likes softness, and being comfortable, and expressing his identity.

So the lavalava with the leather jacket - that’s the perfect encapsulation of Ed. It’s the two sides brought together in harmony.

#just my two cents #ofmd #our flag means death #ed teach #taika waititi #ofmd bts #stede bonnet #ed and stede #edit to add culturally appropriate name

[ineffectualdemon]

I saw a tiktok that has been bothering me since

Now the context doesn't really matter but she was saying basically that when you first come out there is a stage where you are all happy and excited about your identity and dressing in rainbows and joyful

And then basically said that everyone does (or should) grow out of that stage and end up in the angry, cynical, pissed off activism stage

Essentially saying that taking joy and excitement in your sexuality/gender is "cringy" and "immature"

Now she wasn't being awful and was saying people should leave those who are excited and happy alone and let them be but it's still bothered me

Because you can be both

You can be excited and take joy in your sexuality and gender while also being filled with rage about injustice

I don't know. Maybe this is because I am knocking on the door of 40 but to me taking joy in your gender identity and sexuality is a radical form of defiance

Our stories were tragedies

Our identities were shameful

Picking up a rainbow flag and saying our existence is beautiful and magical and lovely and something to take joy in was an act of rebellion and reclaimation

To say that people experiencing joy in themselves is some how "cringy" or less important or useful than people being angry is...misguided to me

The rage at injustice is important but I also think the celebration of a part of yourself you have been told to hate is just as important

And they just aren't mutually exclusive

Self love can be a "fuck you" to people who want you to hate yourself

#queer #lgbtqia+ #queer things #just my two cents

[riemmetric]

One frustrating thing about being a mathematician is that people who aren't into math heard that Einstein quote that's like "you haven't understood something unless you can explain it in layman's terms" and use it to mean "if it can't be explained to me in five minutes it's needlessly complicated, this person is a pretentious snob and academia is gatekeeping knowledge". And like everything in life, the matter of scientists not being able to/not caring to explain their work to people who aren't at the same level of expertise as them is a complex one that is worthy of being discussed, but here's the thing that you have to keep in mind if you haven't done math since high school:

the further you get into math, the more specialized your field becomes. You start working of puzzles that are small, but fit into a greater web of similar problems, like knitting a beautiful flower that's meant to be incorporated into a huge quilt. And all of math is build on top of each other, so you can't get to the most interesting, current math being discussed in the world without getting through the building blocks that are taught to you in elementary school, high school and the university.

You ask me to explain my thesis to you and I can tell you the title, but you won't know what the main words in it mean. And that's not because you are stupid, that's just because to learn that word you have to spend time learning a hundred others. I love math, it's my favourite thing in the universe and I always have time to talk about it, so if you want, we can sit down and I'll tell you everything you need to know to understand what I'm currently working on. You can ask me questions and I will reformulate, you can ask me to go over things again and I will oblige. With your permission, I will get a piece of paper and draw shapes and schemes to help us, but it won't take five minutes. It can't take just five minutes. That is a concession you will have to make if you truly want to learn.

(Unfortunately, I don't want to disclose the title of my thesis on tunglr dot hell, because it's super specific and I don't feel like doxxing myself. But I hope this resonates with some people. I work both in symplectic geometry and Riemannian geometry, and I have to say between the two Riemannian is a little bit easier to explain, because I can just talk about distances, but symplectic geometry or Lie groups... I'm afraid I just can't explain those in a sentence because they rely on people knowing what differentiation means, and that's not knowledge you necessarily retain if you work outside a stem field. Explaining that in a few sentences would eat up the whole five minutes).

#mathblr #just my two cents #maybe I AM just stupid and bad at words #but i think this is a problem specific to maths because a lot of our stuff is abstract examples and applications of other abstract things #stuff that applies to surfaces and curves? i can kinda explain those #but something like coadjoint orbits? how the hell do you explain that to someone who barely remembers what a function is? #how do you get through the progression of lie groups - lie algebras - dual lie algebras with someone who doesn't know what differentiaion i

[ofmd-ann]

Ed x Stede

(meme template link)

#but tbf ed is also sunshine #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #just my two cents #our flag means death #ofmd #stede bonnet #edward teach #shipping dynamic #my edits #ofmdann edits

[whoishotteranimepolls]

My observations after running this blog for a month

I have observed trends relating to multiple fandoms and how they behave/interact with my polls here's some examples. I hope someone finds this entertaining as I did. Because I do read most of the comments and tags

Black Butler, Jujutsu Kaisen and Dorohedoro. You guys are the most insane, feral, unhinged and I have debated marking my post as mature content simply because I knew what you will put in your tags and comment. I worry about you people sometimes Because I do read what you put in those comments and tags and now I know what you will allow these characters to do to you and what you want to do to them. (This also applies certain specific characters from other fandoms) But you three. My little unhinged trio. It's just fandom wide. Doesn't matter the character. You will go crazy. It's entertaining to watch. Don't get me wrong but I hope everyone is doing okay

One piece You guys request a lot and show up. You guys also like meme and cursed polls. Yes they are funny most of the time and you guys have plenty of characters to choose from for the meme and cursed variety. But your fandom also has a list of characters that fall under the should I mark this as mature content because of what is inevitably going to end up in the tags and comments. Because I have seen your characters referred to as "daddy" or "mommy" Way more than JJK or the other two members of the unhinged trio and those fandoms are way more crazy collectively.

Trigun is the most loyal ride or die fandom that will show up for any poll with one of their characters no matter what. With a level of enthusiasm that is impressive but lacks the pure crazy of the unhinged trio

Mob Psycho 100 I've only had one character submitted from your show but you guys show up almost as much as Trigun but I don't know if that loyalty translates to other characters

Jojo you guys either show up and vote and reblog quietly or are just as bad as the unhinged trio 50/50 chance also depends on the character so I never know what to expect.

Now Attack on Titan. Is that fandom alive? Because I have gotten a few requests to do their characters but they have never shown up to defend their character. Which is funny because they're still in the top 20 anime and Manga fandom charts. But as far as I can tell the fandom does not exist or they're invisible so are you guys doing okay? I know the final season was supposed to be traumatic or something but I mean so was JJK season 2 and it just turned that fandom into an unhinged mess so you all should be fine or at least have a pulse. Do you guys need to speak to the Hannibal fandom for support? I mean they're still alive all these years later even after their tragic ending.

Hunter x Hunter You're a fandom that shows up consistently. Vote and reblog but you don't make a scene. That's all I can really say. It's very similar to how the Trigun fandom behaves but not quite the same enthusiasm as Trigun that is ride or die no matter the character

Fate is another fandom where you either show up or you don't. There is no in between. I wonder if it depends on the character. But I don't know. There just hasn't been enough polls

Soul Eater. You guys are unhinged only when it comes to Stein any other character I don't know but Stein 100% ride or die.

Dungeon Meshi very similar to JoJo except if it's Senshi or Falin guaranteed you guys will be just as bad if not worse than the unhinged trio any other character there's a chance you might not show up at all

Now to all the people who find the Senshi polls annoying. I would like to apologize for the monster I mean meme I accidentally created. It was never my intention for this to get out of hand I hope you can forgive me one day. But apparently they're going to kill King Charles. I still don't get it I might be getting old

If I haven't mentioned your fandom, it's probably because your characters don't get submitted enough for me to notice a trend but I will be watching. This is just what I've observed so far I hope you enjoyed my observations. I found these trends interesting

#not a poll #just my two cents #fandom #fandom culture #poll analysis

[island-in-the-shadows]

On Felix Catton & Disgust/Desire

I had been waiting for a long while now to write this post. I wanted to do another full re-watch before I got into it because the ideas for this have been sitting in my mind for a long time. This is going to be a long post and, hopefully, not super pretentious. Most of us fans of Saltburn know, to some degree or another, that the core themes of the film revolve around disgust, desire, and obsession. And the biggest entry point to discuss this is the actions of our protagonist, Oliver Quick re the object of his disgust/desire/obsession Felix Catton.

I've written before that I believe that Oliver did know Felix and that Felix was emotionally vulnerable and candid with Oliver. I further stated that we, the audience, are forbidden from knowing the details of this intimacy because Oliver does not want us to truly know Felix. This means that the bits we get of Felix are small and very subtle. It means that we can interpret Felix's core personality, true intent, true desires in a litany of ways. My opinion is, realistically, no more valid than anyone else's. But for today, I wanted to discuss what I view, from the bits that we get, is Felix's relation with the core themes of the film. And, because I saw a truly heinous takes about a different fandom I'm in and I don't want to think about it, my brain said: hey...let's talk about Felix Catton and his disgust and desire.

Pt. 1: "Only rich people can afford to be this filthy."

When Oliver says the above, he and Felix are in Felix's messy and disgusting dorm room at Oxford. When you take a closer look at the room (which I admit was difficult on my first few views because Felix is lit and positioned to take all of your focus), it is a total shit show. There's clothes everywhere, empty containers everywhere, other unidentifiable debris...honestly wouldn't shock me if there was some used condom somewhere. We know from Oliver that, not only does it look like chaos, it smells terrible. However, Felix is unbothered. He is concerned only with the heat which, in this case, is an external force that he cannot control no matter his good looks, his charms, his pedigree, or his money. By what we see, Felix is quite happy and content in the filth. It is only when Oliver points out the filth and points out that Felix won't take care of it, that Felix reacts negatively.

Felix, as we know, is very accustomed to his messes being cleaned up for him. Before we even get to Saltburn it's a safe assumption to make. Prior to college/uni, he would've gone to some posh boarding school or other. I doubt that they were made to clean everything in boarding school (though if any of you know please let me know). We also know that wealthy people tend to have hired staff who clean for them. This is a young man who has never had to clean up his spilled milk and it has never even occurred to him to do it.

However, the important bit to note is not that Felix is messy and that it doesn't occur to him to clean. What's important to note is that the mess simply does not bother him. Just because he is born to extreme wealth and privilege does not mean that he would have to be this way. There's been germaphobe rich people or people who prefer to have a minimalistic space or any number of things. Regardless of wealth, some people are fine with mess and some people require mess to be done away with immediately. Felix is in the former category. He certainly must notice the mess at some point (even if, clearly, he's nosebleed to it) but he is comfortable in his space.

This is also true of his room at Saltburn. We barely see it, I know, but let's take a look at that glossy af pic of it from the Architectural Digest Article...

There is crap EVERYWHERE. The more you look at it the more crap you find. You can't even say that it's perfectly clean either because there's dirty clothes in spots, there's multiple pillows on the ground, there's a random used water glass, there's either toilet paper or paper towels on the night stand, the bed isn't perfectly made, I could go on. Chaos and filth and mess is, technically, Felix's natural habitat. It's the kind of mess that is surrounded by opulence, certainly, but it's still a mess.

Only rich people can afford to be this messy because they can also dictate when and where their staff cleans. Presumably, there are things in Felix's bedroom (perhaps the toilet paper/paper towels which have a...purpose) which he has instructed Duncan to leave alone. Or Elspeth has put terms for how often the maids come in the rooms. It could be framed in a multitude of ways. The point stands that Felix can exist in these chaotic and, even, disgusting spaces because he chooses to be. What his privilege does, then, is afford him absence from judgment.

We see the staff at Saltburn clean up after the party. We see that they quietly replaced a broken mirror before anyone can question the cracks. We never see the staff judge. Do they? Certainly they must, we all have opinions. But do they express their judgement to the masters of the house? No. It's not their place to do so. They are considered staff and therefore their opinions do not come into play for the Cattons nor would they want to hear them. Even Duncan's genuine unease and grief after Felix dies is mostly kept under control. He's not paid to express his emotions or his thoughts, after all.

And why go into all of this? Because Felix is content to live in the mess, to revel in the gross and in some version of the abject. What Felix cannot handle is being confronted with his pleasure. To me, this (along with wanting to separate Oliver from staff when the younger boy starts actively cleaning) is the main reason why he snaps when Oliver points out the disgusting state of the dorm. He does not need or want to know how he fits outside a specific role that he was born to play and, likely, believes he has to play. Even if it didn't occur to him to clean, he could've used his wealth and influence to find someone to clean for him. But he didn't. Because it doesn't bother him. Oliver being bothered and pointing out that Felix is so wealthy that he can live in the filth is what bothers him, instead.

Pt. 2 "Was it? Was it awful?"

I am going to keep this section short, because there have been much better posts about this and I, personally, go back and forth on this all the time. Regardless, Felix having an interest in a made up fantasy of a shitty childhood and what he can, likely, envision as some Dickensian nightmare of a situation falls into his relation to disgust and desire. What Felix knows of true poverty and addiction likely comes from media or exaggerated stories from people who have been in contact with someone who was an addict or something to that extent. His imagination must be running wild with theories. And while I do think that he did have good intentions regarding Oliver when it comes to this, his demeanour also shows an attraction to the grotty aspects of it. Oliver only ever calls him out on this, to a degree, in the maze. Before this, Felix can be interested in what he imagines is the horror of Oliver's childhood but not be caught out as being a tragedy whore or someone with a saviour complex or anything else, because his interest is not being pointed out. Again, he has an interest or desire for mess and chaos as long as it is not pointed out.

Pt. 3 "You're supposed to be here with me."

Let's, briefly, talk about queerness. Let's talk about how Felix has an image to maintain. How he has expectations put upon him. Yes, he has privilege and wealth beyond understanding, but these things often have a tradeoff. Celebrities, for example, have to forfeit a lot of their privacy. Royalty and nobility (regardless of country) often forfeit chunks of their privacy and the possibility of living outside of a script (publicly, at any rate). Felix CANNOT go off script.

He is implied to be the heir to Saltburn and everything that comes with it: money, land, title, expectations. Like in the days of old, it's probably expected of him to produce an heir. It's also expected of him to marry a lady from his class in order to produce said heir. And, back in 2006/7, people were less acceptating of LGBTQ+ people that they are now, and Same-Sex marriage was not a thing in the UK and it wouldn't be for another 7 or so years. So Farleigh, who will inherit nothing and only ever be given scraps, can embrace his queerness; Felix cannot.

Personally, I believe that Felix did have some sort of interest in Oliver. It's not just in the fact that he is possessive of Oliver to the point of disregarding his family. It's in all the Bambi eyed looks that we see Felix give Oliver. You could argue that these are exaggerations from Oliver but then, how do you explain the POV shots we get of Felix looking at Oliver? How they are also romance coded, lustful, pinky and fluffy? There is something there. To what extent there was something is pure conjecture. But, I personally believe that he had some kind of feelings for Oliver but could not express those feelings and, to an extent, found his feelings for Oliver disgusting.

Even if his mother is, in her way, tolerant of queer people, this does not mean that she would be ok with Felix being with a man. I doubt his father, who is in his 60s at the time, would be any happier about it. Again, Felix needs to have an heir and take over Saltburn. So, at most, they would've tolerated that Felix had a "friend" tucked away somewhere that Felix could go to every so often. Queerness is not the desired outcome and so, at some point, Felix would've had to separate any feelings from the matter. And, hypothetically, in boarding school any hand jobs etc. from other boys would be viewed as part of a norm that exists within the realm of "no homo."

So, given he has been emotionally intimate with Oliver and, given that he has felt more for Oliver than he probably thinks he should, he feels disgust as much as he feels desire. He can, and personally I think does, want Oliver, but feels disgusted by his feelings and has a strong desire to keep them channeled in the "appropriate" way. Just the same, he gets jealous and he does not want to share. He cannot abide by Oliver being free to pursue another partner (guarantee he would be equally as incensed if he had found out about Farleigh and it probably would've slightly registered had Oliver actually slept with Indabel). It's specifically a slap in the face that it's Venetia who has done this kind of thing before and who is allowed to be physical with these friends of Felix's with whom Felix does not feel he could or should be physically intimate. Thus, the possession and the jealousy and the spurned wife behaviour of it all.

Pt. 4 "You make my fucking blood run cold."

Bref, I think Felix had good intentions but poor thinking skills when he wanted to take Oliver to his parents' house. Multiple posts have discussed this bit and I do think he wanted to further trauma bond with Oliver the way they further trauma bonded when Oliver's dad "died", afterwards, per the script, they were "closer than ever." And then they had that intimate moment on the bridge and spent some time there completely alone instead of being at a giant party. I think he thought that the experience would bring them closer and that he would be there to, in his way, protect Oliver. And I still think this plays in to all the little ways in which Felix desires disgust and is disgusted by his desires. But he does it anyway.

The betrayal of trust and intimacy that follows has to feel like a bomb has gone off in Felix's mind. But what's worse for him, again this is solely my opinion, is that he still desires Oliver regardless. It might not have fully formed in his head and he then dulled it with drugs and alcohol and with his shoddy attempt at fucking Indabel in the maze, but possibly the inkling of why Oliver lied the way he did had entered his brain. Oliver already tried to explain. Told Felix in the hallway when they got back that he wanted to be Felix's friend. And Felix likely relived his entire relationship with Oliver including what Oliver just told him. And, to me, Felix was not entirely opposed to it. He didn't immediately kick out Oliver or cause too much of a fuss. He wanted space. He wanted to not think about it for a while. But Oliver forced his hand.

Again, here we have a Felix who is disgusted by his desire. A Felix who, deep down, knows that he likes that Oliver lied. That he likes that Oliver desires him so much that he would do anything for him. Likes that, despite NEVER wanting anyone to know the most debauched parts of him, Oliver is close to knowing all of his darkest parts and loving him for them just the same. But a Felix who, nonetheless, does not allow himself to revel in the filth once it's pointed out.

And Oliver points it out. In a big way. "Everyone puts on a show for Felix! [...] doesn't this just prove how much of a good friend I actually am? How well I actually know you!" He does know him. Felix knows this. Felix CANNOT go off script. Felix cannot acknowledge his love for things that are disgusting or less than savoury. So too he cannot allow them or acknowledge them here. And then we have something in the script vs. how Jacob actually looked that's what inspired me to write this overly long post in the first fucking place.

This is not the exact beat. Because this is after Felix says his line about his blood running cold. The vibe is the same, though. Regardless...is THAT the fact of disgust? Because to me, that is not disgust. That is some form of desire that most mortals will never experience. But then...it also IS disgust. Because the two are intertwined for him. Because he desires because of the disgust at the situation and at the lengths of debasement Oliver will go to to please him. He is a boy who loves mess and chaos and who makes his home there. And, to whatever extent, his heart could've made a home in the mess and chaos and filth that Oliver brought to the table. Even if Felix has to be disgusted at his desires and prevent them. Even if Oliver took any option or opportunity away from Felix.

Oliver makes his blood run cold, but Felix never said that was a bad thing. And it isn't. Just as Oliver revels in the filth of bodies and their fluids and the inferred possession that comes with them, so too Felix revels in the filth of places and things he shouldn't want and things he can only truly savour in the shadows where no one points them out.

TL;DR Felix is as much of a freak as Oliver is, though in a different way. He is shown to be comfortable and even like messy and gross things but, he only does so when it's not pointed out. He can be, to a point, physically close and emotionally intimate with Oliver and, even partially overlook a betrayal of this intimacy, but only if it's never pointed out. Only if it doesn't break with the expectations and social script on which he has been raised and to which he has to stick. He serves to demonstrate the relationship with disgust and desire as much as Oliver does, but his relation is more subtle and harder to see. And maybe, just maybe, given time, he would've at least bent the script.

--------------------------------------0--------------------------------------

Super sorry for how long this is, I just needed to get it out! Thanks to @ollieapologist for being my biggest cheerleader about this post. Sorry if this is incoherent!

#saltburn #felix catton #cattonquick #super long post #just my two cents #literally I know this can be interpreted in so many ways but it's been rattling around my brain for a WHILE now #now can we get some uni prof to come grade me? lol. I think I did ok #saltburn meta

[galacticlamps]

ok I have A Lot of thoughts about the staircase confession (well really about Edwin's whole character arc, but all roads lead to rome) but for now I just wanna say that, yes, I was bracing myself for something to go terribly wrong when I first watched it, and yes, part of me was initially worried its placement might be an uncharacteristically foolish choice made in the name of Drama or Pacing or Making a Compelling Episode of Television but at the expense of narrative sense--

But I wanna say that having taken all that into account, and watched it play out, and sat with it - and honestly become rather transfixed by it - I really think it's a beautifully crafted moment and truly the only way that arc could've arrived at such a satisfying conclusion.

And if I had to pinpoint why I not only buy it but also have come to really treasure it, I'd have to put it down to the fact that it genuinely is a confession, and nothing else.

That moment is an announcement of what Edwin has come to understand about himself, but because it takes the form of a character admitting romantic feelings for such a close friend, I think it can be very easy, when writing that kind of thing, to imbue it with other elements like a plea or a request or even the start of a new relationship that, intentionally or not, would change the shape of the moment and can quickly overshadow what a huge deal the telling is all on its own. But that's not the case here. Since it is only a confession, unaccompanied by anything else, and since we see afterward how it was enough, evidently, to fix the strangeness that had grown between him & Charles, we're forced to understand that it was never Edwin's feelings that were actually making things difficult for him - it was not being able to tell Charles about them. 'Terrified' as he's been of this, Edwin learns that his feelings don't need to either disappear completely or be totally reciprocated in order for him to be able to return to the peace, stability, and security of the relationship with which he defines his existence - and the scale of that relief a) tells us a hell of a lot about Edwin as a character and b) totally justifies the way his declaration just bursts out of him at what would otherwise be such a poorly chosen moment, in my opinion.

Whether or not they are or ever could be reciprocated, Edwin's feelings are definitively proven not to be the problem here - only his potential choice to bottle it up - his repression - is. And where that repression had once been mainly involuntary, a product of what he'd been through, now that he's got this new awareness of himself, if he still fails to admit what he's found either to himself or to the one person he's so unambiguously close with, then that repression will be by his own choice and actions.

And he won't do that. Among other things, he's coming into this scene having just (unknowingly) absolved the soul of his own school bully and accidental killer by pointing out a fact that is every bit as central to his self-discovery as anything about his sexuality or his attraction to Charles is: the idea that "If you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell"

So narratively speaking, of course it makes sense that Edwin literally cannot get out of Hell until he stops punishing himself - and right now, the thing that's torturing him is something he has control over. It's not who he is or what he feels, but what he chooses to do with those feelings that's hurting him, and he's even already made the conscious choice to tell Charles about them, he was just interrupted. But now that they're back together and he's literally in the middle of an attempt to escape Hell, there is absolutely no way he can so much as stop for breath without telling Charles the truth. Even the stopping for breath is so loaded - because they're ghosts, they don't need to breathe, but also they're in Hell, so the one thing they can feel is pain, however nonsensical. And Edwin certainly is in pain. But whether he knows what he's about to do or not when he says he 'just needs a tick,' a breather is absolutely not what's gonna give him enough relief to keep climbing - it's fixing that other hurt, though, that will.

Like everything else in that scene, there's a lot of layers to him promising Charles "You don't have to feel the same way, I just needed you to know" - but I don't think that means it isn't also true on a surface level. It's the act of telling Charles that matters so much more than whatever follows it, and while that might have gone unnoticed if anything else major had happened in the same conversation, now we're forced to acknowledge its staggering and singular importance for what it is. The moment is well-earned and properly built up to, but until we see it happen in all its wonderful simplicity, and we see the aftermath (or lack thereof, even), we couldn't properly anticipate how much of a weight off Edwin's shoulders merely getting to share the truth with Charles was going to be, why he couldn't wait for a better, safer opportunity before giving in to that desire, or how badly he needed to say it and nothing else - and I really, really love the weight that act of just being honest, seen, and known is given in their story/relationship.

#dead boy detectives #edwin payne #the case of the very long stairway #im sorry this really IS the short version of my thoughts i swear #i didnt want to get long and rambley backing everything up and mentioning everything else this forces me to reconsider #i just feel like i've barely interacted w this fandom and still seen quite a few odd duck takes on this moment imo #i dont think he wouldntve got the nerve to say it otherwise #(he was already going to! & if anything his new experiences in hell only cement that being the right choice) #and as much as i get what fear can do to a person i still definitely dont think he was resigned to staying in hell if charles reacted badly #i truly think he just couldnt keep it to himself any longer #the show is upfront about his escaping hell being a testament to his own strength rather than a lucky break of some sort #so i think even being on the receiving end of a rescue mission getting out still must take a lot of strength in this universe #and telling charles that definitely made him stronger/in less pain #so yeah totally necessary it happened where and when it did in my book #also i hope it doesnt sound like im being dismissive of anything charles says in this scene #but the way i see it those were all things they both already knew #so reaffirming them just adds to the idea that the act of Telling Each Other Things is what's so important here #rather than counting as a truly separate thing this conversation achieves #just my two cents

[apencilandpen]

this is how we're supposed to be

#just my two cents #my stuff #my post #digital scrapbook #my art #digital sketchbook #the untamed #the untamed fan art #wei wuxian #lan zhan #mdzs #mdzs fanart #im honestly really pleased with this #its not perfect and i worry i might have gotten too Caught Up in some of the details and strayed a little far from the sketchy vibe #but thats okay bc i really really like it #there are some things im not sold on still but overall its very sweet and almost exactly how i saw it in my head #which is always super super nice #ANYWAY i have a playlist for them now and im fine about it #song referenced is fortress by bears den

[queerbuckleys]

i think that they are all getting a commendation for the cruise ship rescue

#just my two cents #esp with the chiefs white lie on the news at the end #bobby and tommy included if that wasn’t a given #911 #911 spoilers

[akiakianna]

Ok y’know?

After seeing The Images in Hollow Mind in HD and from what we get, Caleb is starting to seem…less of a great guy. Because by all accounts tbh…he pretty much abandoned Philip when he was a child for a witch and given the fact we see her pregnant in another image makes it kinda wondering how willing he was to get back home.

I’m NOT trying to defend Philip here (although I find sympathy for child Philip) or demonize Caleb, but I’m pointing out how…weird this is.

what are y’all thoughts?

#the owl house #just my two cents #philip wittebane #caleb wittebane #wittebane brothers