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mysmegrace · 3 years

Note

Hii! Could I request “why is it so hard for you to believe me?” “I love you” prompts with Jumin, Zen and Saeran? Thank you!

hello~ omg anon you are giving me too much fun with these prompts lmao. i’ve decided to split them up in a fanfic style. i’ll post jumin’s here, then later zen’s and saeran’s. i’ll leave the links to them here once they become released but i’ll also have the links in my masterlist. have a great day!

summary: jumin comes across a text notification that flashes on mc’s phone. being curious, he reads it. things don’t add up to him and he accuses mc of cheating. mc is heartbroken, as the text was nothing more than a friendly conversation between cousins. it’s only until later does jumin realize his mistake.

topics / tw: cheating, angst, pregnancy, death, wrongfully accused individuals, car accidents, drunk driving, definitely not spoiler free.

words: 5.3k

*reminder: you can check out my masterlist to see which requests i am currently working on!*

just wanna put out there that the title is a lyric from shin yong woo’s (jumin’s VA) song. i plan to title saeran’s fic and zen’s fic the same way, just with different songs. here’s a link to the song if you’re interested.

Sad Endings Stay Sad

---

october 5th marked the birth of one of south koreas brilliant billionaires. and of course, there were ups and downs to that kind of life. living the rich lifestyle while working your life away for your young years. however, birthdays were supposed to be exemptions for the hectic ways of that life for just a day.

jumins birthdays consisted of four main concepts. birthday presents from people he’s only spoken to once, being met with “happy birthdays” whenever you turned the corner, parties being held in his honor (four-to be exact), and his favourite part, time spent with you and elizabeth the third.

he could endure the day as long as you were at home, safe and secure, waiting patiently for his return. knowing that made his struggles a little more bearable. he had all he could’ve asked for in his possession, things money can’t buy.

hence why he always asked you to refrain from giving him birthday gifts. he already had everything he needed, he could buy anything should he desire it, they took up unnecessary space, and they were pointless to him.

so when he arrived home that night to pick you up alongside driver kim in order to attend the han family birthday dinner, the look of confusion on his face once he laid his eyes upon the birthday gift left for him on the kitchen table was understandable.

had you forgotten his wishes, or were you simply teasing him? he knew his wife liked to play around from time to time. perhaps this was just another one of your silly “i love you” gifts. he decided to give you the pleasure of watching him open your gift, seeing your face light up playfully as he received a small plushie or tiny confetti canon.

little to his knowledge, you had planned something different to gift him. something incredibly more significant that you both were expecting to happen in the near future. after five years of marriage, you were excited to be sharing this news with him.

facing the mirror, you had heard the door open and close, signaling his arrival. meanwhile you were still getting ready for the dinner. so you allowed him a couple minutes to himself, taking in the foreign object greeting him.

with the last flick of mascara, you reached for the door handle, preparing how to answer the questions he was bound to ask. walking out to greet your husband as you weakly closed the door behind you, he turned his head to the sound of your heels meeting with the floor.

giving you his typical smile, the one that made you want to melt into the expensive floor tiles, he walked to greet you as you made your entrance in the living room. his beautiful wife was always a wonderful sight to see at home.

regardless, he knew you both had a place to be and he needed to hurry the conversation up. the last thing he wanted to be was late. so he questions,

“love, i thought i told you not to gift me anything this year. having you with me is more than enough.”

a modest giggle left your lips, those beautiful lips he would kiss every morning before work. you made a small gesture to the present, telling him to open it. yet as he picked the gift up, you noticed you didn’t have the birthday card on you. you couldn’t have a birthday gift without a birthday card. everything had to be perfect.

after all, it wasn’t everyday that you would announce you were expanding your small family. so you quickly exclaimed, “one second, i forgot something!”. he stopped, taken aback but respecting your wishes. he watched as you ran off to the bedroom, leaving your phone on the table.

as you were off scrambling through your shared drawers, he was examining his surroundings to pass time. the clock seemed to be forward by five seconds...strange. he’d deal with that later. yet suddenly the ping of your phone caught his attention.

you had a text message. he bent forward ever so slightly to read the contents of the text, not daring the move the phone from his original spot. you two trusted each other, no way would he consider this a branch of your privacy. despite that, he felt the need to read the previous messages with this person after reading what was shown on your scree.

he could feel his heart drop as he read, “okay see you then, love you”. he had never heard of this man you were texting with, but why was he texting you using that language? the language of a lover that should be reserved to coming from him towards you, not from anyone else.

and from the looks of things, you had made plans to meet this man beforehand. you had never made any mention of him yet you made plans with him? his heart was racing, he wasn’t sure if it would remain in his chest at this rate.

swiping up to investigate further, he was met with your password screen. thinking nothing of it, he inputs your password. the same one you had for years and shared with him, even when you changed it. however this time he was met with an innocent password notification.

surely this was a mis-input on his end. re-entering your password with a slower, more accurate, finger aim. the outcome was no different, “incorrect password”. why had you changed your password and why hadn’t you told him?

things were not adding up. all rational thoughts were leaving his mind as everything he had never wanted to happen might have been happening right in front of his eyes.

meanwhile you were continuing to search for the card in the bedroom, you couldn't find it anywhere. yet your attention directed to the hallway, hearing the voice of driver kim throughout the house, yelling “you’re going to be late, hurry”.

crap, you thought. things would have to wait, on your side and jumin’s. he had no time to question you about the text, silently deciding to recluse into a reserved state for the rest of the evening, from everyone, including you.

walking out of the bedroom, you met jumin in the hallway as he picked up the umbrella sitting beside the door to shield the two of you from the downpour of rain outside. opening the door, he left, barely leaving it open for you. that was nothing like jumin. perhaps he had rushed because of the time, you thought.

through a slow car ride, you felt an overwhelming sense of awkwardness. he wasn’t acknowledging your presence, which was quite unlike him. his face just remained with the same blank expression facing forward.

this behaviour continued all throughout dinner. only talking when expected to, turning his shoulder everytime you walked towards him, and disregarding any words you spoke to him. you knew this man like the back of your hand, there was 100% something bothering him.

what took a prick to your heart, however, was how he hadn’t told you what was on his mind yet. you understood the concept of privacy, but you had promised each other to always confide in the other through anything, so why was this time different?

who knew two hours could feel like two days as you waited for the event to come to an end. that way, you could finally confront him about the situation. it was killing you.

in the corner of your eye, you watched as a few of the associates started to clear up the area. you could feel the breath you weren’t aware of holding release as you began thinking about the next course of action. knowing your love, he doesn’t make sense of things unless they’re said blatantly.

finishing up with respectful goodbyes, jumin lightly signified for you to join his leave. boarding the car, nothing was changed since the car ride to the event. just the presence of jumin, driver kim, and yourself. now you had to encourage yourself to sit through another awkward car ride with your anxiety consuming you.

you found yourself at a slight ease once driver kim had pulled up to the home you and jumin shared. it wasn’t long before you found yourself alone with jumin in the comfort of the familiar walls. just as you began to get your words out, you were interrupted by your husbands deeper tone of voice.

“explain the text on your phone from earlier” he said, almost as if he were making a statement. the feeling of your jaw slightly dropping didn’t catch your attention, but it caught jumins. taken aback, you start rethinking all the texts you had received from that day. however you couldn’t come up with any results that would warrant his question being asked.

taking notice of your face, he continues, obviously not expecting a response from you anytime soon, saying “i saw the text you received earlier from a male saying he’d see you soon, even referring to you as love, what is that about?”

you couldn’t reply. you didn’t know what to say. were you really being accused of cheating right now? did his trust for you fall that much..? yet you hadn’t seen such a text. truth be told, you haven't even looked at your phone since you left to grab the card.

your thoughts were suddenly interrupted, hearing “not to mention that you’ve changed your password to your phone and haven’t told me. haven’t we agree to rely this information to each other?”. at this point, you weren’t sure if you were in shock or dreaming. surely this wasn’t real, you would never cheat on him. the only texts that were kind of similar to what he said to have seen were the plans to meet up with your friend and close cousin.

other than that, nothing he was saying was making sense. yet how come you couldn’t respond..? you didn’t want to hurt him, but you couldn’t let him go on another minute thinking you had cheated. with your phone now in the bedroom, it wasn’t like you could walk away to check what he was speaking of from the living room.

“are you cheating on me?” he asked, clearly not wanting to waste anymore time before deciding his next move. mustering up the little willpower you had left, you mumbled back “no”, leaving space to continue, but not knowing what to continue with.

a sign escaped his lips, before they parted to speak, “you’re not very convincing. you have nothing to say for the text message and sudden password change, this is very unlike the mc i know, or used to know.” those last few words sparked something in you.

perhaps it was because of the shock of the situation or the emotional imbalance you were currently dealing with, but you started to fill with many negative emotions, more so than before. betrayal, anger, and defeat were beginning to run rampant. you knew that you could not prove your innocence to jumin in this state.

giving it a go, you start to confront his accusations, saying “i don’t know what you’re talking about. i have never, and will never, cheat on you. why don’t you believe me? i love you! how could you think so little of me? are you that insecure to think every man i talk to is someone i’m trying to persue?”

oh no, you thought. you hadn’t meant to touch on his insecurities like that. you let them slip in a fit of hurt, but didn’t think about what you were saying in detail. you felt incredibly guilty as soon as the words jumped out. maybe, a night apart would be good to calm the both of you down and think rationally.

therefore, you followed up saying “i’m sorry, i’m going to leave for now, i can’t do this tonight”. quickly looking down as to not be swayed by any expression he makes, you nearly run to the bedroom.

pulling out the backpack you had since you were 18, you unzipped it to prepare for everything. you would only take essentials, such as your phone and some cash you had earned on your own, securing the items before turning the door.

walking out to the hall, you saw from the corner of your eye how jumin had left, leaving the area empty. yet one thing caught your eye, that being the present you had left from earlier.

not thinking about it much, you ran to grab it, shoving it in your bag as you left through the front door. in your unusual luck, no security guards were around. giving you the perfect chance to left without bringing yourself anu attention.

reaching the outdoors, you begin walking. to where, you haven’t decided yet. after all, you had a lot to think about. refocusing your mind after a few disappointing seconds, you pulled out your phone, being met with the lockscreen of jumin and elizabeth the third taking a nap together.

oh how things have changed in such a short time. looking through your notifications, a message from you cousin had crossed your eyes. “see you then, love you” it read. oh god, how would you explain that to jumin tomorrow.

you hadn’t introduced him to your cousin yet, mainly because he lived half way across the world. the two of you had always been close however, being there for each other when your immediate families weren’t. saying “i love you” was normal, because as children the only time you would hear those words were from each other.

never have you even thought that it could be interpreted as a romantic relationship. for many reasons, the biggest being that you were biologically related and he didn’t have a romantic attraction towards women.

thinking about it, you could understand how jumin could have taken it. as for the password, you had only changed it because of the employee who had taken your phone without your knowledge correctly guessed the password, attempting to become closer with the chairman.

coming back to your senses, you find yourself looking down the empty road with only the streetlights and moon providing you any sense of sight in the late night. you began looking for hotels nearby, coming across an affordable one for the night.

only problem being that it was 30 minutes away by car, and in your tired state you were not willingly to walk for so long. so off to booking a cab you went. finding the cheapest option, saving some money for anything you may need later, you promptly requested a ride.

with the cab puling up 10 minutes later, you began your journey to your residence for the night. the wind hitting your face from the open window as you were riding provided you with serenity, reminding you that you were still living in this moment.

as the minutes passed, you started noticing some questionable things about the driver. sure you weren’t an expert driver, but you were fairly certain cars weren’t supposed to be driving over the white line dividing the lanes. you weren’t oblivious to the cars unnecessary fast speed either. was this driver okay, you thought.

as time went on, you could only feel the car getting faster and faster. you tried getting the drivers attention, but to no avail. now they were driving completely in the opposite lane. only to switch over, then back, then over, then back.

you would be lying if you said you weren’t scared. you could feel your heart racing, almost like it were about to jump out of your chest, with your gut telling you something horrible was about to happen.

everything happened so fast. half way through the trip, a car driving towards the vehicle as the driver was driving in the wrong lane again, crashed into you head on. you started grabbing onto random things in the car as they flew around, just now noticing the several empty vodka bottles in the trunk. you felt yourself spinning inside the car uncontrollably.

glass had pierced through several parts of your body, deriving from the mirrors. with no warning, the car had fallen off the road, down through the wooded hill on the side.

with the driver now passed out on the stirring wheel, you were at a lost on what to do. the only option was to relax and pray you’d survive. suddenly, you shot forward in your seat as the car collided with one of the many trees. you felt a piercing pain throughout your body, yet your brain had no time to reregister where the pain was coming from as you passed out with your head on the drivers seat.

yet jumin was completely unaware of this. he had walked off to pour a glass of wine, and saw that you left not long after.

being left alone was nothing unfamiliar to him, but it became an extremely unpleasant circumstance after he had formed a relationship to you. he always thought you would be there with him 24/7, but now that wasn’t the case.

he couldn’t wrap his head around the events that just took place. of course he trusted you, but he couldn’t ignore the text. needing clarification as soon as possible, he contacted seven.

knowing his hacking abilities, he could only rely on him to give him peace of mind. he knew it wasn’t right, but he felt the circumstance was understandable enough. hence why he asked seven to hack into mc’s phone without giving him too much detail.

seven hesitantly agreed, it was her husband after all. if there were any affairs going on, though he doubted it, he deserved to know. getting to work, jumin got his results quickly. he was sent dozens of screenshots containing the conversation between her and this man.

it was only an easy job for seven, hacking into phones was nothing for the genius. while reading through the text messages, jumin became overwhelmed with guilt.

he read as they reminisced over their childhoods, talked about what the future held, and even planning to meet each others significant others. he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. had he really driven her away because he assumed the worst of her?

the sooner he could find where she was staying, the better. apologizing was his first priority, he would answer to his work later. being wrecked with remorse, jumin sat facing the window overlooking the city, preparing for the worst as he became increasingly more drunk as time went on.

he didn’t want to live a life away from his soulmate because of one stupid mistake. the years you had spent together meant too much to be thrown away so effortlessly. calling seven back, he asked for him to track you down.

there were many ways he could go about this. he could track her phone, follow cctv footage, or go looking around himself. whichever way he choose, jumin would give him the resources possible to do so. it made his heart break thinking how you might be spending the night alone, crying to your pillow instead of him.

upon tracking your phone, as seven had chosen to do, he had to do a double take. things weren’t adding up. were you sleeping down a hill? deciding to get clarification before taking the wrong moves, he decides to follow you along cctv footage as well.

that way, he’d be able to directly see what you were up to. following along carefully, everything seemed normal. well, as normal as the situation could get. however it didn’t take him long to catch onto the drivers horrible driving. just like you had thought, he knew something bad was going to happen.

as time went on, he watched in horror as he witnessed the car getting hit, spinning off the road, smashing the windows, and ending up in the ditch as it aggressively hit a tree in the wooded area. seven hasn’t been speechless many times in his life, but he couldn’t say anything at this moment in time.

after a minute of sitting with his face close up to the monitor, he recollects himself as he dials jumins number. the reality of the situation kicks in. how would he be able to tell him that his wife had gotten in a serious car accident? one that definitely killed the driver, there would be no way in hell they would’ve survived the impact.

“jumin, she got into a car accident. she’s besides the road outside of the city. we need to call somebody” he said, his voice slightly raising as he begins to panic. his friend was in a car accident, how could he not panic?

jumin didn’t give his mind time to process the situation before calling driver kim to take him to the scene of the accident. everything else could wait. he couldn’t find himself caring about the cheating accusations at the moment, his wife was possibly dead.

god, that broke him. his soulmate might be dead. no, she couldn’t be. she’s survived so much in her young life, a car accident wouldn’t take her that easily. but in case of the worst scenario, he needed to be prepared.

on the way to the scene, he arranged the best doctors to treat her in the nearest hospital. even if she were to end up depending on him for the rest of her life, he would be there everyday.

he could hear the sounds of sirens as they approached the scene, increasing his anxiety more and more. practically jumping out of the car as they arrived, he laid his eyes upon a box of metal extremely crushed, what he assume to be the car.

it was horrendous. the windows were completely gone with glass everywhere, the hood was shriveled up towards where the front mirror was supposed to be, and two tires had rolled off of the car.

what was of more concern to him was his wife, who was being lifted onto a stretcher. there wasn’t much he could see over the paramedics, but what he did see wanted to make him crawl up into a ball and pretend like it never happened.

like this was all a dream. like he didn’t make her want to leave their safe home, resulting in her injuries. wasting little time, he spoke to the paramedics as they examined you. careful to not direct their attention off of you, but still asking questions.

“is my wife okay? what happened?” he asked. he knew the answer to a certain extent, but he needed someone to give him the facts. not moving an eye off of your body, a male paramedic responded “we don’t know for sure. we will give you the results at hospital once we can conduct a proper exam. what i can tell you is that she’s alive, though looks to be in critical condition. the driver has passed unfortunately”.

with all due respect, he didn’t care about the drivers life in this moment. they had almost taken your life with theirs, so why should he feel sorry? the paramedic continues “as for what happened, we’re still actively investigating but this is very likely to be a case of drunk driving due to the empty vodka bottles and the drivers blood alcohol levels.”

he had to pause and compose himself, because he nearly had a heart attack hearing that information. how could someone put their passengers life in danger like that? did they not know how special you were? perhaps the driver was lucky to be dead, because if they had survived, they would be living the rest of their life behind bars.

he would get you justice for this one day, he promised himself. with jumin being allowed to ride with you in the ambulance, he quickly hopped in as you were being loaded in.

now he was given a clear view of your face right in front of his eyes. a face so beautiful given so many scars. the glass in your face, the bruises, the blood leaking from your head, they were all staring at him.

he could do nothing but stare at you the entire ride. he was worried you would give up on him if he were to turn his back. the shallow breaths you took in reminding him of your living form.

the sights around him blurred as you entered the hospital, only focused on you. he followed until a nurse told him to take a seat in the waiting room as you were rushed into surgery upon further examination.

hence why he found himself surrounded by white walls on the night after his birthday. staring straight ahead as to live fully in his head for the time being. now was when he could truly feel himself becoming tired. most likely the alcohol had worn off on him, leaving him in a haze.

3 minutes turned into 30 minutes, which turned into 1 hour, which turned into 2 hours, which turned into 3 hours. all extremely drawn out times, the only interception being the visit from the paramedics.

they had given him the things you had brought with you, many bent or broken. there laid your essentials as well as the present you have given him earlier. he could try to open the present, but it would be no use. it had already been deemed unrecognizable just by the packages damage.

exactly 200 minutes, over 3 hours, later, he was greeted by the main surgeon. mentally preparing himself for the outcome, he listens as the surgeon speaks, saying “mr. han, we tried everything we could..”

no, this wasn’t happening. he knows how this goes, but he doesn’t want to accept it. if there is a god out there, please make this be a big nightmare, he thought. yet he knows, he knows. this is real, too real.

the surgeon continues, “...unfortunately she had succumbed to her injuries. she fought until her last breath...” he blanked, being left speechless. this couldn’t be real, you can’t leave him like that. you can’t. you were supposed to grow old together.

he could feel as every structure and thing with significance fell in his life. hell, he didn’t know if he still had a life outside of you. how would he go on..? you had showed him the path to true love, accepting him like no one else ever had.

his company flourished with you present, people being grateful you were there to convince him to be a tad more human and give some laid back time. you had lightened up everyone’s life in many ways.

“...the baby unfortunately did not survive either..”

cutting off his thought process, he was now faced with confusion. the baby? what was the surgeon talking about? “what baby?” he asked.

“the baby, as in the baby you two were expecting in around 7 months?... were you not aware?” the surgeon responded. she was pregnant and hadn’t told him...? there’s no way this was actually happening. maybe they got her confused with another patient. he would know if she was pregnant, wouldn’t he?

his thoughts were cut off by the surgeon pulling up her medical records, confirming his previous statement. everything was there. he couldn’t believe, there was too much going on.

he first lost his wife and now he lost his unborn child, one he didn’t even know existed. sensing the agonizing energy in the room, the surgeon leaves with his best wishes. now left alone, he was stuck.

he had no idea what to do. he felt like crying, could he even cry...? everything just felt so numb as he realized he was on his own again. allowing his face to drop and relax, he stared at the floor thoughtless.

somehow his father knew and showed up at the hospital. had jumin called him? he couldn’t remember if he were honest, everything was going in one ear and out the other. he doubted if he was even seeing things right.

later, as he was invited to give his last goodbyes before her body would be taken to the morgue, he spoke to his love for the last time.

“i’m so sorry i couldn’t protect you...thank you for giving me the life i’ve always wanted. i never meant to hurt you like i did, please give me your forgiveness through the afterlife. take care of our child up there, my love for you won’t stop until my heart does. rest easy darling”.

grabbing a hold of your delicate hand for the last time, he placed a kiss as he left. letting you go like the princess you were. eventually he found himself outside your room door, standing in the narrow hallway. was this it for him? nothing else mattered to him as much as you did.

finding himself at home once again, the sun being awake at this point, everything hit him like a truck. only this time, he could feel his tears plaque his face. last night you were breathing, this morning you weren’t.

how could the universe do this to him? hadn’t he proved himself worthy enough of you? in the back of his head, he was reliving the event every second. he would never forgive himself for what he said to you the night before your death. he would blame himself for the rest of his life.

he could only hope you would have forgiven him by time he meets you again up there. the next week was nothing but a blur, the only thing he could remember was your funeral.

how you laid so beautifully down, now at eternal peace. being laid to rest with the child he never got to meet, but already loved so much. everyone said their goodbyes, as your friends wept for hours.

finding himself at home again, he really started to hate the place. he wasn’t meant for only him. yet at the same time, he couldn’t leave. you had lived here with him for years, your mark was stick.

as advised to do so by many, he cleared out the drawers and closet of your clothing to save in a box. one he would take with him to the grave. amongst the pile of clothes occupying the top shelf, an envelop met with his head. standing in confusion for no more than a minute, he opens it.

he could feel his eyes swell with silent tears as he read the contents of the envelope. it was a card with a picture of an ultrasound. things were making sense, you were planning to surprise him for his birthday. he couldn’t believe what he had done.

he couldn’t go on. it all hurt him too much. stopping the cleaning process, he went to lay on his bed. observing the photo of the unborn child, he couldn’t control as the tears fell, clouding his vision in seconds.

he laid there for the following evening hours, fantasizing about a life with you and the little one. wondering which parent they would’ve taken after most, innocently hoping it would’ve been you. imagining them getting married, having a happy family of there own.

but he would never experience that while on earth now that you were no longer under the sky. over time, he let fatigue overcome him, drifting off with the ultrasound photo held to his chest.

that night, he could’ve sworn it was you how had embraced him and whispered “i love you” quietly in his ear. anyone might call him crazy, or say that he’s going crazy despite his usual rational nature.

no matter what anyone else thought, he knew it was you. there was no doubting that.

---

01:32 AST - 07/28/21

#mystic messenger #mysme #mysme jumin #mysme fanfic #jumin han #jumin #jumin x mc #angst

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dianapana · 3 years

Text

SH Day 6: Marriage Agreement: ‘Til Our Contract Do Us Part

@sasuhinamonth

Hello dears, this prompt is composed of an older story that I changed a bit here and there and finished just now (it’s somewhat finished as in the ending isn’t too open, but it is open enough for me to continue if I ever wish to). I was very excited to finally use it after having it in my docs for idk maybe a year or so. It’s veeery long compared to what I usually write for these prompts but it just didn’t feel right to split it into parts anywhere.

~Love, Dia

Modern AU, OOC

Champaign

Hinata couldn’t help but sigh in relief when the waiters started walking around with trays full of Champaign glasses, it meant that the speech and toast part would come soon, that was her dad’s way of ending these events, thanking everyone for coming. Usually after the toast people drank their glasses quite fast and they all shook hands with Hiashi before leaving, considering there were about a hundred people around that would take about another hour. She made it thought the preparations for the event and the event itself which took over 7 hours, the worst parts ended, she will survive the goodbyes.

Once the trays were all empty and everyone had a glass in hand Hiashi walked to the middle of the room at what seemed to be the slowest speed possible. Everyone was watching him, nobody dared talk. For most people this wasn’t their first Hyuuga Event and they knew how things worked, and even those that attended it for the first time were smart enough to follow everyone’s lead and stay quiet.

Finally reaching his usual spot Hiashi rose his glass and started speaking. Hinata sent a small prayer to the heavens wishing the speech to be short.

“I want to start by thanking everyone for coming over tonight, especially in such a short notice” it was indeed short notice, Hyuuga events happen 2 times a year on the 20th March and 23rd September; spring and fall equinox. But Hiashi decided a month ago that a mid-June event needed to be held this year. Nobody knew why. “I hope everyone had a pleasant time today, from our oldest friends,” Hiashi said turning to the Nara and Yamanaka leaders “to our newest friends” his eyes moved to Fugaku Uchiha “and everyone in between”

Hiashi started talking about the notion of friendship and how important bonds are in ‘our world’. Hinata could tell the speech would be a long one, and with every bullshit word coming out of her father’s mouth she wanted to roll her eyes. But she couldn’t. The elders were watching her every move, Neji and Hanabi were in the same position, having eyes on them at all times. They all had to smile and nod and act like these events are their favourite place to be, no matter how big of a lie that was. She was tired, the servant woke her up at 5 in the morning to start getting ready, her father didn’t agree with the first two dresses she had put on, the putting on and taking off, took her about 2 hours in total and was extremely exhausting despite the help from the servants. The preparations for the event also took longer than usual. Her father kept telling her how important it was for her to behave. Hinata had never been the one to cause problems during such events, no matter how much she hated them, but for some reasons, it was her that was always given the longest lectures.

The windows were open at least and the night summer wind gently blew inside. The dress Hiashi approved of was a deep red long evening gown. All the skirt layers were extremely heavy and she had been standing on high heels for longer than it should be humanly possible, the corset was so tightly tied, at times she’d have issues breathing and to top it all off the dress had long lace sleeves which were sticking to her skin. It had not been a fun dress to wear in the middle of a heatwave. Her mind was still drifting in space when all of a sudden, her father stopped talking.

“I know many of you have been wondering the reason for this event and we shall let you know. Fugaku would you mind joining me?” The Uchiha leader went to the centre of the room as well. Whispers started going around the crowd, nothing like that had ever happened before. Hinata looked to Neji trying to see if he was aware of any of that, but her cousin would not make eye contact with her. Neji’s head was lowered, his fist was clenched and the hand around the glass was white-knuckled, it was a miracle the glass hadn’t shattered in a million pieced from his grip. Neji was aware of what was about to happen and he was not pleased.

“Today is the first time in over 100 years when the Hyuuga and the Uchiha families meet in peace at an event such as this. The bond between the two is alone a motif to celebrate but we must do everything in our power to keep this bond as strong as we can which is why we have decided to bind the families together thought marriage.” Hiashi’s voice boomed with pride. The crowd’s whispers grew in intensity. Hinata looked at Hanabi, both girls looking shocked and even scared. Hanabi wanted to reach out and hold her older sister’s hand. Grip it tight and pray that they both get over this event intact, but before she could make a move Hiashi started speaking again. “Hinata, my daughter would you please come here”

All eyes turned to her. Her heart beat a thousand times per second, despite her sudden fear her body moved gracefully, her mind was in utter chaos but her body knew the drill, it obeyed whatever her father told her to do. As she was passing by people, a familiar hand gripped her for a moment, trying to say so many is such a small touch. Ino, her best friend, tried to give her all the strength she had, she wanted to assure her everything will be fine, and also thought that touch she said sorry. She said goodbye. Hinata reached her father’s side and turned towards the people. She had never been in the front of the ballroom before, had never had all the eyes on her. Hiashi put his hand on her shoulder and smiled at her, the kind of smile she had never seen before. The smile she had wished to see as a child, there was pride and content in it, but it only made Hinata’s heart break further. The emotions were not directed at her as a human, he was not proud of her, his pride came from finally finding it, a way to get rid of her. He had married her off.

“Sasuke my son, come!” Fugaku’s command was just as loud and even stiffer. Hinata found Ino’s eyes in the crowd. Her friend was crying silent tears. Seeing Ino cry made Hinata oddly detached. It was a strange sensation, she almost felt like her soul had left the body and she was watching from somewhere far away all of this happening to somebody else. The Hyuuga girl moved her eyes from her friend to the man walking towards them. Her future husband.

Once the young Uchiha stood in place Hiashi raised his glass and finished the toast. “To my beautiful daughter and her fiancé,” they cheered for her. They drank for her. And yet she didn’t. The Champaign glass was still full. She was lost… not in thought, her mind was blank but she wasn’t present either.

“Look alive princess” Came a voice from her right. Sasuke took her glass and finished it in one gulp. He placed both his and her glasses on the tray of a waiter and took her hand and kissed the back of it. People gasped and whispered. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him. With her on heels, his mouth came to her ear. “Smile sunshine. This is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Fool them all” His voice was oddly gentle and it broke something in her. She would have cried but Sasuke was right; she had a part to play. Taking a small breath in Hinata fell in character.

Hiashi told them to do the honours and say goodbye to everyone, after all that was their engagement party. Hinata looked up at the man she would spend her life with and gave him a sweet and shy smile, she even managed to make herself blush when he smiled back at him. She smiled and blushed whenever someone congratulated them or made a comment about their engagement. From time to time, she’d steal a glance at Sasuke and look at him with what she hoped came across as admiration. They made eye contact a few times, he winked at her twice. They were both playing their parts flawlessly. One could not tell that they had never met before, that they were not indeed lovers. Fugaku called Sasuke to him and Hinata was left alone to say goodbye to the guests. A few older ladies praised her for being able to catch such a handsome husband.

The next in line was Gaara. Hinata’s heart broke a little more upon seeing him. He too looked sad, which her brain turned to something else despite knowing it not to be true. Her feelings for Gaara had not gone away as she had hoped they would after finding out that he was in a secret relationship. “I am sorry Hinata” He whispered as he kissed her cheek. There was nothing either of them could do, people were waiting in line to talk to her after Gaara. Her father and fiancé were in front. Hinata smiled and thanked him just as she had everyone else. Gaara would not save her, he couldn’t and even if he could…he wouldn’t.

Ino was one of the last people to come talk to her. She had gone to the bathroom to pull herself together after crying. The blonde was stronger than that, but she had cried for Hinata because at that moment Hinata could not afford to cry. The Yamanaka girl hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear encouragements that they both knew would not help.

Everyone had left but the Uchiha family and the main Hyuuga family. Even the Hyuuga elders had seen themselves out. Habani was nowhere to be seen. Neji, her father, Sasuke, Fugaku and Sasuke’s elder brother Itachi were all talking among themselves. To the side was Mikoto, Sasuke’s mom. Hinata was still by the door; now that everyone had left, she was unsure of what to do, under normal circumstances she would be allowed to leave and go to her room, but her father hadn’t dismissed her yet. The Uchiha woman looked to her, smiled and started walking towards her.

“You look lovely dear. I’ve been keeping my eye on you the whole event but Fugaku would not allow me to come and talk to you sooner. Come dear let’s sit down and gossip while the men talk business”. The two women walked to the first table and sat down next to each other. “The event was so long; I thought your father would never make his speech. It must have been hard for you too, staying all those hours on high heels and in that dress, what were the servants thinking giving you such a heavy and warm dress to wear; do they not know it’s summer?” Mikoto went on about trivia things a moment longer. Hinata had yet to say a word, however, her future mother-in-law didn’t seem to mind her silence, for she filled it with mindless talk.

“I know it’s a difficult time for you,” The woman said and took Hinata’s hands in hers. “They were unfair to you, they should have let you know earlier.” Mikoto touched a strand of Hinata’s hair. “You have nothing to fear. We are a good family. My son will take care of you. It will take a while for you to adjust I know, but this is not the end of the world.”

Hinata opened her mouth to say something but found her throat was so dry she couldn’t say anything. After clearing her throat, she tried again. “Will I be leaving with you tonight?” the idea of leaving tonight and not being able to say goodbye to anyone was unboreable.

“No sweetheart. The Uchiha is an old family with old traditions, you will move in with Sasuke only on the night of the wedding. It is a sin to live under the same roof before that.” Hinata nodded. At least she still had some time before that.

“When is the wedding?”

It was easy to see Mikoto was an affectionate person, she moved her chair to be closer to Hinata and hugged her. Something about the woman put her at ease, her voice and hair reminded her of Hikari, her own mother, it was a strange feeling. “The wedding will be in three months. Before that we have to pick a dress, everything else has been pretty much done, you can look over everything and make the last-minute decisions. Of course you and Sasuke will spend some time together to get to know each other and-“.She was cut off by Sasuke himself when he addressed her “Mother” Mikoto squeezed her harder one more time before letting Hinata go. The woman got to her feet and kissed Sasuke’s cheek. “Goodbye Hinata, I will see you soon dear”

She and Sasuke were now alone. He took a seat in the chair Mikoto had emptied. For a moment they didn’t talk. It was all moving along too fast for Hinata to comprehend. Just under 2 hours ago, all she wanted was the event to end so she could sleep. Nothing could have prepared her for the change her life took. It almost felt like it wasn’t real; or that it was all happening to someone else. She had not made a single decision about this.

“Tomorrow I’ll come and we will have lunch together and talk more. It has been a full and exhausting day.” His voice was just as gentle as it was when he whispered to her before. “What would you prefer we eat? I will make reservations ahead of time”

“Anything will do, I don’t mind” Hinata answered. She appreciated that he didn’t want to ‘get to know each other’ then and there. She was indeed tired and needed to think about everything a little more, in order to realize that it was all indeed real. Looking up at Sasuke she had to say she was lucky; he was very good looking and so far, had shown her kindness. If what his mother said was true her destiny wasn’t as cruel as it could have been.

He got up and extended his hand for her to take, which she did. Hand in hand they walked back to where both families were still discussing. Neji would still not look at her, Itachi offered her a kind smile, Fugaku only a nod.

“I see that the two of you hit it off.” Her father said, it appeared he was really happy with the arrangements. Sasuke nodded to her dad. Hinata was certain that if Hiashi had his way she would leave with the Uchihas that very moment and never return.

“Hinata is tired, it is quite late so we should go. I will return tomorrow at noon in order to take her out for lunch Hyuuga-san.” Sasuke had not asked permission to take her out. He had simply stated that he would. That was the moment she realized her father was no longer the one to command her. Sasuke was. She wasn’t sure if what she felt was fear or excitement.

“Yes of course. Hinata you may leave” Hiashi said but Hinata didn’t move for Sasuke was still holding onto her hand.

“I will walk her to her quarter.” Hinata barely had time to bow to what would soon be her family before Sasuke started pulling her along. “In my presence you will not follow his word. My word is absolute, his is barely wind blowing by you.” Sasuke appeared to be annoyed by the fact that her father dismissed her. “If he says go but I am standing still, you too will stay unless I decide we will leave”

“Yes.” She knew how their world worked; despite them living in the 21rst century where women were seen as equals more and more every day, their world stopped evolving. The husband was the ultimate master while the woman was a possession. First, she was owned by her father, then by her husband.

They walked quite fast when leaving the ballroom, but once they were out of sight Sasuke slowed his steps. He was aware of the difficulty of walking in heels, his mother always made sure to complain about it. Her hand in his felt small and fragile, he had never been given something to take care of, sometimes that was his and his alone. He had been against the marriage at first. He wanted to wait until he was the Uchiha head later in life before taking a wife but his father insisted, he needed to marry young and have heirs because Itachi could not. His older brother had been his father’s favourite from a young age; that was until Itachi was 18 and Sasuke 13, about 10 years ago. On his 18thbirthday Itachi gave up his title as the heir in a very public way only to than later inform his father that not only does he not want to be head but he would not be fit for the role, for he could never give heirs to the clan. Itachi’s infertility came as a shock to the whole family. Sasuke was tested as well as soon as possible but thankfully the tests proved that he would be able to have children.

Fugaku had learned in the past 10 years to accept Sasuke as his heir, his relationship with his father was better now than it had ever been, but even so they were not as close as Itachi had been with him. But Fugaku put in all his efforts to try to make Sasuke the best, he taught him everything he could and allowed Sasuke to do as he pleases as long as what he did would be useful to the family. So, when he informed Sasuke he had picked a wife for him it came to no surprise that he had chosen a girl from a very important family, a family even older than the Uchihas and just as influential. The girl was known among her people as an angel and was believed to be the most beautiful Hyuuga girl to ever be, so of course, Fugaku wanted her for his own heir.

Upon seeing Hinata for the first time that night Sasuke had concluded the rumours had not been false. He had not been disappointed in the slightest. He was actually impressed. He expected two outcomes: either the girl to cry and make a fuss about the marriage or to be the ditzy kind of girl he had seen around that throws herself at him. She had been neither. For the shortest moment she had faltered and shown her true feelings, disbelief and numbness, but she pulled herself together as soon as he spoke to her. She had acted and played her part perfectly.

The pavement was old and uneven towards the main house. Almost nothing had been altered from the time the house was built, only maintained, so cracks and unevenness in the pathways happened. Hinata was trying her best to walk over them in her heels. Normally by that point in the night, she would take her heels off but she was not alone. Noticing her slowing down Sasuke stopped.

“Would you want me to carry you?” The offer was unexpected and it made Hinata quiet for a moment which Sasuke took as ‘yes’. He slightly bent and placed an arm under her knees and the other around her back. On instinct, Hinata placed both her hands on his shoulders to steady herself.

“You didn’t have to do that” Despite saying that she was thankful. Her feet were killing her.

“How high are your heels?”

“About 6 inches. Why?”

“6 inches and I’m still 6 inches taller than you.” He made a humming sound. Hinata didn’t know what he was thinking but she didn’t try to figure it out either. It was hard enough trying to figure out what she was feeling, there was no energy or time to uncover the mysteries of Sasuke’s mind. Her body was tired but her brain was even more exhausted. At this point not really caring anymore, she placed her head on his shoulder and just enjoyed the ride. Upon getting to the main house Hinata instructed him to go to the 2nd floor to the left. There was a guard outside her door that did not stop him from entering her room but actually held the door open for him. Two servants were inside waiting to help her undress and wash before going to bed. Sasuke put her on the edge of her bed.

“Thank you for bringing me here.” Hinata said. She felt a bit shy now, not really knowing how to say goodbye to him. This was the first time a man beside her dad and Neji entered her room. Not even the guards were allowed inside.

“Goodnight Hinata, I will see you tomorrow” Sasuke said, he kissed the back of her hand once more and left. Not waiting for her reply. Once again, a choice was made for her that day, but she was grateful for it this time.

The servants were gossiping about her fiancé and how gentle and beautiful he was, about how he had looked at her and how he had carried her like she was the most precious thing in the world. They guided her to her feet and to the full-length mirror to the side of her bed.

All their words were flying around her but none of them really registered; her brain was still not processing much of anything. She was still in the ballroom holding her Champaign glass praying for her dad’s speech to be short.

The servants untied her corset and Hinata took in her first deep breath in what felt like ages. They peeled off her sleeves and pulled the skirt away from her body. She was left in her underwear and heels in front of the full-length mirror. Her arms were splotchy and red from place to place from the itchy lace, her breasts and abdomen had red traces from where the corset was too tight on her. Her panties were red to match the dress, her legs were white and smooth but they were barely holding her at that point in the high heels, they were visibly shaking. Her eyes moved back up over every inch of naked skin until it reached her face. She wasn’t sure what she expected to see there, maybe something different. Some kind of evidence of the announcement from that night, but everything looked just as it did that morning.

One of the servants had just finished putting the dress away for it to be cleaned the next day, while the other filled her bathtub with hot water, salts and oils. Hinata would usually take off her heels and walk on her own to the bath but she was still looking at herself in the mirror, her eye make-up wasn’t smudged at all, her lipstick had gone after eating and drinking halfway through the event, so she excused herself to the bathroom several hours ago to take it off, her updo had lost some of its volume and a few strands had fallen around her face. She was too close to the mirror, her image being all she saw. Hinata took a few steps back and tried to picture Sasuke next to her naked body. They would make a beautiful couple even she could admit that.

Not being able to stomach the image she had in her head anymore the Hyuuga girl finally turned around and sat on the bed for a moment to take her heels off. She walked to the bathtub and took off her underwear as well and lowered herself in the hot water. Her head was resting on a soft towel; one of the servants started taking her make-up off and cleaning her face with scrubs and putting gels on her face and gently massaging everything in.

“Haruhi, could you please put some music on?” Hinata asked the servant that was not busy at the time. A moment later soft music started playing in the background. Once the facial massage was done a charcoal mask was applied to her face and finally, her hair was taken from the updo. Mina, the servant washing her poured some warm water on her head in such a way as not to get it on her mask. Her hair was shampooed twice and conditioned and rinsed and finally, put in a towel.

Haruhi came to help with washing her body, they scrubbed at her neck, collarbones, arms, hands, breasts, back and every other part of her. Her body was rinsed and washed again, more gently with moisturizing lavender soap and rinsed again. Her facemask was taken off, the water drained from the tub and she stepped out of it allowing the servants to towel her off. Mina placed a large towel over her bedsheets and Hinata laid on her back and enjoyed as both her servants massaged every part of her body with more oils, once they were done on one side she turned on to her front and they started to work again.

Her massage was almost done when Hanabi busted through her door. Hinata lazily opened her eyes, she was tired and finally relaxed, thus on the edge of falling asleep. Her sister was in her night attire, her hair still wet from her own bath most likely. Her eyes were red, she must have cried, but she looked angry at the moment. Hinata’s servants did not stop their massage despite the company of her sister.

“How can you stay there and enjoy your massage?” Hinata asked sounding astonished.

“You had enjoyed your bath time, why shouldn’t I?” Despite all of Hinata’s efforts over the years she and Hanabi weren’t as close as she wanted. Hanabi had always resented her for being older, the firstborn, the heir. When Hanabi was 3 and Hinata 7 the younger spent her days playing and reading stories and being watched by the elder women while Hinata was studying with the men. Hanabi had asked once why that was the case and an elder said “Your sister is the heir. She has to know how to be a leader, while you my dear, you will be a wife to someone” Despite that incident, things slowly started changing over the years, Hinata lost her father’s favour and Hanabi was taught leadership skills while Hinata was toughed to cook. Despite the obvious manner in which Hiashi favoured her now, Hanabi had always felt jealous of her sister, for she always believed what that old woman said to her in her childhood, she resented Hinata for she was to be the one that would not be married off. What an irony.

“Why aren’t you upset?” Hanabi’s voice was breaking and she was shaking. “Why aren’t you angry?” her fists were clenched and she looked like she wanted to start a riot. “Why aren’t you in dad’s office demanding he change his mind?”

“There’s nothing to change Hanabi.” Hinata finally got up and gestured to the servants to leave. She took the towel and put it around her body as the two bowed and left the room, left the sisters to talk among themselves. “Dad did it in such a way that it cannot be undone.” Hinata walked to her closet looking for something to wear to bed. “He didn’t tell me before so I couldn’t contest it, and now I can’t. Everyone that matters in this world knows about it. Unless I have a good reason, a very good one, there’s nothing that can stop this. In three months I will not be here anymore” Hinata finally picked a silk shorts and tanktop combo and put it on. “And you little sister.” The older one said as she walked towards her sister “You will be a Hyuuga forever, this will be the only house you know, these will be your people.” Hinata wanted to finish her sentence with ‘just as you’ve always wanted’ but stopped herself short.

Hanabi was crying again. She had prayed and wished to be the one to stay for so many years. But she had never thought about her sister leaving. She had always been bitter and held Hinata at a distance even when the older one tried to make the gap between them disappear. She had never taken the opportunity to get to know Hinata, and now she couldn’t.

“I’m sorry.” Hanabi said and hugged Hinata. They hadn’t hugged in ages. This time it was Hinata who pushed away.

“It’s over for today. I have not yet realized that this is not a dream. We will speak tomorrow. I’m going to bed now” She was a bit angry at Hanabi for only now trying to act like a sister. She had tried before that evening too, right before Hinata’s name was called, but even then it was in a moment of weakness, of fear, it wasn’t out of love or care. For most of her life Hinata tried to convince herself that she was fine with the way her and Hanabi’s relationship was, after trying for a few years to bond with her and being rejected, Hinata became content with what they had because she believed Hanabi not to be able to connect on a deeper level. She didn’t connect with Neji or Hiashi either. But seeing that she is indeed able of that connection, that she just didn’t want it before, hurt her more than Hinata would ever admit.

Hanabi left and Mina and Haruhi peeked in Hinata’s room. “Good night Himata-hime” they said in union and Hinata wished them a goodnight as well. Them calling her hime reminded her of the way Sasuke had called her Princess. ‘Smile sunshine. Fool them all’ he had said. And she did. She smiled and fooled them.

Now that her head was finally on her pillow, hair still damp, sheets cool and comforting, the room dark and quiet she allowed herself to admit a few things out loud. “I am getting married. I will be an Uchiha. Sasuke will be my husband.” The silence in the room was deafening “I am scared.” A little voice in the back of her brain whispered ‘I am excited’ but she didn’t say it out loud. With those thoughts in mind, she fell asleep.

________________________________

The next morning felt normal. She woke up, brushed her teeth, washed her face, got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. She didn’t feel different. Upon reaching the dining room she realized for once she was the last to arrive. Hanabi was in her seat looking upset, Neji was frowning at his phone and her dad was reading something on his pad. That is what the house would look like in three months. She moved from the doorframe and all eyes turned to her. Hanabi still looked sad, Neji looked sorry and her dad was happy. Hinata walked around the table and sat in her chair.

“Good morning sunshine. How did you sleep?” Hiashi had stopped calling her sunshine when she was 4 years old and Hikari died.

“I slept very well, how about you father?”

“I did as well”

Neji was looking at Hinata almost expecting her to cry or scream. He was looking at her face trying to find proof of tears from the night before, but her face wasn’t red or puffy. She looked well-rested.

The breakfast was finally brought for them to eat and they did so in silence. Hiashi was the first to finish and instead of leaving to go do work as he would normally, he started talking.

“Sasuke will be here at noon. You should start getting ready after breakfast” Hiashi too wanted to test his daughter and see how she would address the situation. He wanted to know if he had to give her a lecture about her behaviour around the Uchiha heir.

“Yes, I know. I already thought of what I want to wear. I will change and come seek your approval as I would for an event.” Hinata said between bites. “He didn’t mention where we were going but he did say he will make reservations so I am assuming it is a dressy place despite being a lunch date”

Everyone was taken aback by her answer. Hinata had not lied, she slept very well and woke up early. She accepted her fate almost entirely, she picked what she wanted to wear and even thought about a few things she wanted to ask Sasuke. In all truthfulness, she was a bit excited but was trying to keep her expectations low, that way she would not be disappointed if this change was not for the better. The only thing she didn’t particularly like about this was not seeing Ino and Neji. They were her best friends despite Neji’s behaviour in those 2 days.

Seeing as nobody spoke anymore Hinata excused herself and went to her room to start getting ready. It was only 9 in the morning. Sasuke would only come in about 3 hours but there wasn’t much else she could do.

She didn’t even reach her closet to take out the outfit she had thought of wearing when Neji came into her room. He walked to her and bowed. “I’m sorry” he was apologizing for not telling her, for not being able to stop it, for the way he treated her.

“It’s ok Neji. Everything could have been worse.” She wasn’t lying. She heard of many girls that had married old and abusive men. Their whole life they were raped and beaten. She didn’t know Sasuke at all but from the 2 interactions she had with him, he didn’t appear like he would hit her. Mikoto too seemed nice enough. “What is one prison exchanged for another?” She wasn’t allowed to do much in the Hyuuga household anyways, read and study. She was a bit eager to see if she had a bit more freedom as an Uchiha and if not, she was already used to being a caged bird.

“I couldn’t convince uncle not to do that. The bond with the Uchihas was apparently necessary. And Fugaku requested you to marry his son. Uncle couldn’t deny a direct request like that. Plus...” Neji decided to stop there.

“Plus, dad would rather Hana be the leader.” Hinata continued what Neji wouldn’t say. “I know that Neji. I’ve known that for a while now.”

“If one of the leaders were to request to marry you as well uncle might need to reconsider” He didn’t sound sure at all.

“He wouldn’t change his mind. The relationship with the Uchihas is more important to him than any other family at the moment. In addition, nobody would risk their bond with both us and the Uchihas for my hand in marriage” Hinata absently replied while looking through her collection of necklaces while sitting at her vanity.

“If we ask Gaara maybe-“

“He wouldn’t. and I would never ask him either” Yesterday she might have jumped up at the idea of marring Gaara. But something changed and made her realize her feelings for Gaara were never really for the man, but the freedom he represented. Gaara was her friend, he was a leader and if he would have been her husband, he would have offered her the most freedom a woman can have in their world. “I would never ask your boyfriend to marry me” Hinata said this while watching Neji’s face in the mirror.

Her cousin blushed and looked alarmed. “You are mistaken Hina-“

“Stop” I know I’m not. Her eyes softened. “It took me a while to realize but I did. And I confirmed my suspicions when I told Gaara about my feelings a few months ago and he said he was in love with someone himself. I asked why he wasn’t marrying this girl and he replying that his relationship was taboo. I thought she was a married woman maybe, a commoner. But it clicked when I saw him look at you.” Neji was still not moving or breathing.

“I will not tell anyone about the two of you Neji. It is nobody’s business but yours.” She got up from the vanity and walked to him and hugged him. “For what is worth…I wish you both happiness.” She knew that their relationship would not be accepted in their world and her heart wept for both cousin and her friend. The world was cruel. “I hope you find a way to be happy and free” She wanted that for herself too. Happiness and freedom to find who she was and then be herself.

Neji hugged her back. “That means the world to me Hinata.” He sighed long and his body felt like it was deflating. “I hadn’t realized how it would feel to hear the words from someone other than him or me. How much I wanted someone to validate the way I feel” Neji took a step back and kissed her forehead. “I wish you happiness and freedom as well Hinata. I hope your life as an Uchiha to be better than your life as a Hyuuga has been.”

She hoped that as well. After another hug, Neji remained in her room and the two of them chatted while Mina and Haruhi were doing Hinata’s hair and make-up for her date. The dress Hinata had chosen was a black beach dress with daisies and sunflowers on the skirt. The skirt was cut on one leg to her mid-thigh. The upper part was like a tank top in the front but the back was almost bare, only a few strings places in a random pattern kept the front from falling. She would pair the dress with gold wedges and a gold choker and her normal hoop earrings. Her makeup was done also in soft golds and whites. Her hair was braided in the front like a crown and she asked Haruhi to braid some small daisies in as well. The rest of her hair was free and in waves from not drying it properly before bed. Neji had left right before she changed her clothes about 10 minutes ago. Being finally done she did as promised and went downstairs to get her father’s approval, it was still only 11 so if he had any complaints she would have the time to change, or so she thought. After knocking on his office door and being granted access Hinata opened the door only to find Sasuke in the room with her father.

Hiashi looked up at her and he only nodded his approval for her attire. Sasuke had on a white button up with the last 2 buttons undone and the sleeves rolled to his elbows and a short pair of black slacks.

“Come in Hinata, Sasuke came early so we had a talk while you were still getting ready” Hinashi beckoned her to enter the room but she didn’t move to which Sasuke smirked.

“Actually, I think we will be leaving now, seeing as she is ready as well. I will see you later Hiashi-san” Sasuke greeted the older man, took Hinata’s hand and closed the door of the office. Neither of them said anything as they walked to Sasuke’s car.

Hinata was starting to get nervous, not only for the date and being alone with Sasuke, but because she hadn’t been outside without her father or at least Neji. Sasuke opened the door of her and she got inside his car. He walked around and go into the driver’s seat. Before starting the car though, he kissed the back of her hand.

“You look lovely today as well.” He turned her hand around and kissed her wrist. “You were a good girl Hinata, not listening to you father.”

Her breath hitched due to the second kiss, no man touched her wrist before, let alone kiss it. During her talk with Neji they discussed Sasuke as well. Her cousin said that he is known to be cold and quite cruel. But he had been anything but that to her. He had been gentle and affectionate, something she had never experienced. Nobody in the Hyuuga household hugged her or kissed her hands.

Sasuke looked at her and smirked at her blush, he could tell this was the real deal and not a fake like the ones from last night’s goodbye charade. He finally started the car and drove down the Hyuuga driveway till he reached the first gate, one of the security men opened the gate for them and they continued down the driveway to the second and final gate, this was opened for them as well and they were finally on the road.

“I have never left without father or Neji the premises of the house.” Hinata admitted.

Sasuke looked at her for a split second from the corner of his eye. She was looking out the door with a small smile. “Not even to a friend’s house? I noticed you talking with the Yamanaka girl a lot. Were you never allowed to visit her just with a guard or two?”

“No. Neji always had to come along” Sasuke’s reply was a small hum. He hadn’t realized that the Hyuugas were that strict.

“I will assign my best guard to you once you move in with me. When I am at work; because unlike your father I am away from the house quite a lot, you will stay with him. You are free to go as you please as long as he’s with you”

‘You are free’ was what Hinata heard. She had wanted to be free for such a long time but now that I was so close to her, she wasn’t sure what she’d do with said freedom. The rest of the drive she spent trying to come up with what she would do the first chance she got.

The restaurant was in the centre of the city, where she had never been before. The amount of people walking around was mind-blowing. There were kids laughing, people talking walks and strolling around just because they could. Her whole life the thought of public space being dangerous had been drilled in her head. Other families could be around, they could hurt her. ‘People are mean and cruel’ that was Hiashi’s go-to answer when one of them wanted to go somewhere. Despite Hinata never really believing what her dad said, his words were on repeat in her head, so without really meaning to she took a step closer to Sasuke, held onto his arm with both hands and tried to hide away. Even if one does not believe the things they are told, if they are told them often enough, they become involuntary habits; she had been taught to think she was always in danger, paranoia was not easy to let go of.

When he had said they’d go eat at a restaurant she thought he meant one owned by the Hyuuga or by the Uchiha family, a restaurant from their respective part of Konoha. She knew what part of the city belonged to the Hyuugas and looked up what parts belonged to the Uchihas and this part wasn’t owned by either.

He noticed her stiffening in the car when he parked it. He noticed her fear and the way she clung to him for dear life. “What’s the matter Hinata?”

She looked up at him with big eyes, she looked like a deer caught in headlights. “Aren’t we in danger?” Her voice was low and trembling. Sasuke stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and took both of her hands in his. Hinata took a step in front and pressed her body to his, still trying to hide.

“Why would we be in danger?” he was genuinely confused.

“People are mean and cruel. This isn’t our territory. Someone could try to shoot at us.” The reply rolled off her tongue without much thought. She had heard them so many times they felt natural.

Sasuke placed one of her hands on his chest and the other on his back above the waistband of his pants. Hinata’s eyes grew even larger when she felt both guns. “This is neutral space. We’re not on anyone’s territory.” He said softly and let go of her hands but they stood in place. “And even if someone was to try to harm you, I’d kill them all” he whispered in her ear in the gentlest way possible. The threat should have scared her, but it made her feel secure. “I will protect you with everything I have. Nobody will dare touch a single hair from your head for the fear that I’ll destroy them all” Sasuke tucked a hair strand behind her ear as he continued to spill threats to any future danger. “Do you feel better now?” he finally asked.

“Yes” Hinata answered but couldn’t look at him. She felt silly and embarrassed for being worried. They were a few steps from the restaurant and had been standing in place being an inconvenience to people passing by. “Let’s go inside” she turned around and started walking to the door and Sasuke followed. He could see her flushed cheeks but allowed her to think she had hidden her discomfort from him. There were things on his mind, her fear had been real. She had been taught that if she were to ever leave her house she would die, her father hadn’t been above lying, traumatizing and manipulating her emotions to keep her in place and in control. He had always stayed home to work so he could keep an eye on all of them. Sasuke did not agree with his methods at all.

They were finally seated at a private table on the second floor. Hinata was looking at the menu with a sparkle in her eyes. “Do you know what you want to order?” Sasuke asked her. The restaurant was fancy enough to have steak and lobster but it also had hamburgers.

“I think I’ll take a chicken cheeseburger. I tried making one in secret home and it was good enough but I’m curious to see what a real one tastes like” She said with enthusiasm. “What about you? What are you ordering?”

“I think I’ll have a burger as well, the extra spicy one” Just as the two closed the menus the waiter came to take their order. Sasuke ordered for them the burgers and a big portion of fries and onion rings with a side of all of their 4 sauces, neither of them wanted soda so they decided to order a large bottle of water.

“You’ve never eaten a burger before?” Sasuke asked trying to go back to what she had said before.

“Only the one I made. Our cook usually makes food for 2 days so he has Tuesdays and Thursdays off. In those days I like cooking something that I want to try rather than just help him with whatever dad ordered he cooks…Most what dad wants is traditionally Japanese food and I like it, but I see some foods in movies and I want to try them.”

“So, you like watching movies?” He wanted to know what her hobbies and interests were in order to provide her with them so she wouldn’t get bored alone at the house when he was away.

“I watch a movie once every 2 weeks when Ino comes to visit me.”

“She only visited you two times a month?” He had believed the Yamanaka girl to be her best friend.

“Yes, that’s how many times father allowed her to come over…” Her voice so far had been light but it had a tint of sadness when she had revealed this last part.

“What about other hobbies. What do you do usually in a day?”

“Hobbies? Oh well, umm…Usually I wake up and if it’s a day where the cook is at work, I help him make breakfast, lunch and dinner. In between I had a few classes that the elders taught me about leadership. Neji and I usually have tea in the garden when he has the time…”

He was furious. Hiashi was killing her. He didn’t allow her to leave, but she couldn’t get visitors, she wasn’t allowed to do anything but exist. He wasn’t sure if he could wait three months for her to move it. Hinata was his and she was unhappy. He could tell Hinata was feeling a bit awkward because of her answer which is why he didn’t push it. The food came and they ate in silence. Hinata had loved her burger. She tried all 4 souses and really liked the sweet chilli and the honey mustard one. After the waiter took their empty plates Sasuke ordered dessert.

“Did you enjoy the food?”

“I did. The burger was much better than the one I made home…” Her smile had returned on her face. Despite the fact that he had been against the marriage before, Sasuke was eager for it now. From the moment he had laid his eyes on Hinata this feeling overcame him, the need to protect and please her. She was his and he would keep her safe and happy no matter what. Whatever she’d ask for he’d give her, if she wanted the moon, he’d find a way.

“I’m glad you liked it. Next time tell me what other foods you want to try and I’ll think of a place to go.” Hinata agreed. They talked a little more about the food when the dessert finally came. He had ordered a lava cake with vanilla ice cream, according to many people that was the best dessert the restaurant offered.

“There’s only one. Do you want to split it?” Hinata asked but Sasuke only shook his head and pushed the plate in front of her.

“I don’t particularly like sweets so you can eat it.” He watched her enjoy the cake. She had giggled after cutting into it and seeing the molten chocolate pour out. She had never eaten a lava cake, of course. His chest felt tight, like something was squeezing his heart and wouldn’t let go. He couldn’t stop thinking about how Hiashi had sheltered her from all these small pleasures of life, he wanted to hit the older man, but at the same time, he couldn’t wait to see Hinata experience everything for the first time. It was like watching a child, she had the same big and innocent eyes.

When Hinata finished the cake, the waiter took the plate and brought the check for which Sasuke paid but they didn’t get up to leave yet. “I have a few things for you” he said. And pulled from his pocket a new phone with the charger and its pair of headphones. “I already programmed my number there and Naruto’s; he will be your bodyguard. If anything happens during these months when you are still living with Hiashi call me and if by any chance I can’t pick up call him.”

Hinata was staring at the phone like it was alien technology. “You’re giving me a phone?”

“Yes. I want to be in touch. Sadly, I can’t come and eat with you every day so on the days we can’t meet I want you to call me. I’ll call you as well when I get home if it isn’t too late and we can talk, you can tell me about your day and such” Hinata nodded and took the phone from him and stared at it for a second longer. “You can add any number you want, Neji’s, Ino’s, your sister. It will be helpful to have them for when you come and live with me and feel lonely.”

“I can add other numbers…?” Hinata was once again hit with the realization that Sasuke was offering her freedom and she didn’t know how to take it. She was overwhelmed by the fact that she had a phone, let alone that she could use it to call Ino.

“Of course. It has an unlimited number of minutes and internet too. You can watch movies if you wish. Also, if you want to buy something online use the phone, I programmed it so it would automatically take money from my account and I’ll be notified.”

Hinata was trying her best to keep tears from spilling. For some reason the fact that he allowed her the freedom of a fully functional phone felt like a huge step, he was putting his trust in her. At that moment Hinata made a promise to never betray his trust. In the few hours that Sasuke was the one in charge of her, he had been more indulging and kinder than her father had been during 22 years.

“And the last thing” Sasuke said as he took a red velvet box out from his other pocket. He opened it and inside was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. The band was made of white gold and it had a big red ruby in the middle and on each side three smaller diamonds. The ring wasn’t overly huge, but it was beautiful. “I didn’t have the time to give this to you yesterday, I’m sorry” Hinata shook her head, there was nothing he should apologize for.

Sasuke held out his hand for her to place hers in so he could slip the ring onto her finger. It fitted perfectly and looked gorgeous on her finger. It felt a little strange, she had never put on rings on her left hand because it was considered bad-luck, so the feeling was foreign but she knew it would go away soon enough and the ring would turn into something that brought her peace at all times just from looking at it.

“I love it thank you” The squeezing was back and more powerful this time. She was wearing his ring. He had proof to show to the world that she was his. Sasuke was the one to get up first and Hinata followed. They walked out of the restaurant and back to the car hand in hand.

It was barely 2 in the afternoon. “I’m sorry I can’t spend more time with you today.”

“It’s ok. It was more than enough. I had a wonderful time, thank you” Hinata was still looking at the ring with a smile on. It was weird how something that yesterday felt like the end of the world, today felt like the beginning. Her heart fluttered when Sasuke opened the box and showed her the ring and it violently beat in her chest as he was putting it on her finger. Maybe marrying her off was the best thing her father could do.

They reached the Hyuuga house faster than either of them would have liked. “I’m not coming inside this time” Sasuke said as he walked her to the door. Hinata just realized that that had been her first date. She saw similar scenarios in the movies she watched with Ino. The boy walked the girl to the door after their date and he would kiss her. Would Sasuke kiss her? Did she want him to? A part of her was scared but the other part of her was screaming ‘KISS ME’. But Sasuke didn’t kiss her, at least not on the lips. Just like last night he kissed her forehead and left saying goodbye.

Hinata walked inside the house and it felt even colder and duller than normally. She wasn’t sure she could survive another three months there, not when freedom with Sasuke was that close. Hinata didn’t go to tell her father she was home, instead, she ran up the stairs to her room where Mina and Harushi were waiting for her. Her servants were a few years older than her, yet Hinata had never considered them friends because Hiashi drilled the belief that servants were to be servants since she was small, but her dad had been wrong before, so maybe he was wrong on this occasion as well.

The two girls bowed to her and Hinata stopped. She wasn’t sure how to act, a sudden image from a movie popped into her mind. When one of the girls would tell the others about her crush and they’d all jump up and down and screech. So, she took in a deep breath.

“You can raise your head” she said in her normal tone. The girls did as she asked. Taking in another breath she extended her left hand for them to see the ring. “Isn’t it beautiful?” Her energy was overflowing and she couldn’t contain it anymore. She started jumping up and down and laughing.

“Today was the best day ever. He was so lovely and just everything was amazing.” Hinata took one of Mina’s hands and one of Haruhi’s and started jumping up and down. The servants looked at one another before starting to laugh too and jumping with her.

“The ring is lovely” “And he’s so handsome” “I’m glad you had a lovely date Hinata-hime” “Did he tell you when the next one will be?” The two were talking alternatively.

“He didn’t but he gave me a phone and said he’ll call everyday he can’t see me” She showed them the phone as well. Hinata wanted to call Ino as soon as possible but she didn’t know her friend’s number. Whenever she wanted to talk to Ino she’d use Neji’s phone. Hinata started walking towards the door to the hallway, she wanted to look for Neji to get him to put his number and Ino’s in her phone.

The rest of the day went by faster than most of her days do. She talked to Ino on the phone for hours then took a bath and as she was changing in her night attire her phone rang. Sasuke had kept his promise to call her when he got home. She told him about talking to Ino and asked about his own day. Their conversation wasn’t very long but it still made Hinata smile. She fell asleep with a smile on her face and thoughts of Sasuke in her mind.

________________________

The following morning the first thing she did upon waking up was to check her left hand to make sure the ring was there and that it wasn’t all just a dream. She couldn’t help but smile upon seeing the piece of jewellery.

Sasuke’s question about hobbies bothered her a little, she had never really had the means of finding a hobby, she either didn’t have the time or didn’t know what to try besides cooking recipes she made up. But now she no longer needed to attend the leadership classes, her father informed her of that at breakfast, and she now had access to the internet, she could try learning a new skill, discover what she liked to watch or read, find out something she enjoyed doing. That was on her to-do list until she met with Sasuke the next time, get a hobby.

Ino liked gardening and making flower arrangements, Hinata liked helping her around the garden as well but doing the arrangements themselves was always difficult and not particularly enjoyable. The one thing she knew she’d like was drawing but was a bit scared. She had always doodled on her notes but had never tried to do an artwork. So that was the first thing she looked up on youtube, drawing videos. She found many and every single one was more amazing than the one before.

Hinata immersed herself in the videos and all the different ways in which one could create art.

________

Despite being in the middle of work Sasuke couldn’t help but think about Hinata and the things she said during their date a few days ago. She was basically a teenager getting her first phone. Sure, she knew a shit ton about leadership, her family and their world but she knew nothing about the outside world, technology and real human relationships. She didn’t know herself either, that part, seeing her figure out who she was as a person, what she enjoyed and what she didn’t, would be lovely to watch. But Sasuke was still confused about how Hiashi thought he could shelter his heir from everything, had Hinata been the leader she would have been lost, not because she wasn’t fit for it but because she didn’t know how to navigate her way through the outside world, she didn’t know what to do when someone wasn’t giving her orders. Her father had succeeded in turning her into someone submissive not because she was weak but because she had never been given the opportunity to be independent. Hinata had amazing skills, she knew over 5 languages and was taught how to fight, but she didn’t know many basic things.

Sasuke kept thinking of the best ways to slowly expose Hinata to more of the outside world and its customs, the Yamanaka girl wasn’t as sheltered but she wasn’t exactly well versed in ‘normality’ either. Naruto would spend a lot of time with her too but he couldn’t entrust the blond to teach her things, who knows what dumb stuff he would fill her head with. Of course, the obvious solution would be his mother, she was the sanest out of everyone he knew and she could help her prepare for the life of ‘the wife of the Uchiha leader’, but he would like to assign someone that’s around their age as well, someone Hinata could consider a friend and not feel overly anxious around.

Before he could find the perfect candidate, his cousin Shisui came to inform him his father wanted to talk to him. He forced himself to focus on work, but lingering thoughts of Hinata distracted him every now and again. He was still worried about her being in the Hyuuga household still, time seemed to be moving in slow-motion, the beginning of September appeared to be years away.

________

Her eyes were sparkling as she was telling him all about the painting tutorials she watched the past three weeks, she apologized for wasting so much money on ordering acrylic paints and brushes. When Hinata mentioned the money issue his temper almost got the best of him, Hiashi had so much money, enough to have a Rolex to ear for every day of the year, yet he couldn’t allow his daughter under 100 dollars to buy paints? Not to mention, but Hinata’s perception of money was off, she apologized for spending 12 dollars on a tube of paint without knowing that the phone she ordered it with was almost a thousand times more expensive. Hiashi only ever spent money on his daughters if it fit his needs, he dressed them well so people could see their wealth, Hinata had been nothing but a trophy.

“I’m sorry I asked for your address, but I just don’t want the order to come to the Hyuuga estate, I’m sure father would destroy everything I bought…” Hinata said, the tips of her ears red, as if she was embarrassed for having him as a father. It wasn’t her that should have been embarrassed but Hiashi.

“It was a nice surprise, seeing you order and send things over to my place already made it even more obvious to me that the wedding is going to happen soon” That wasn’t a lie. When her first order of brushes and canvases arrived Sasuke asked the servants to clear a whole room downstairs, one that had a glass wall towards their garden and turn it into a painting studio. Besides what she ordered he got more, he bought every type of paint there was, acrylic, water, oil and many others. He even talked to Sai, one of his workers that is a famous painter and asked if he would be open to giving Hinata a few hours, of course, provided she was fine with the idea as well.

“H-how do you feel about the marriage…? I can’t imagine you were pleased with it…” her face was lowered, her eyes watching as she was playing with her hands in order to distract herself from the question. She was scared he’d say he hated the idea, especially since over the past month since the announcement, her feelings slowly turned to happiness and excitement.

“I was slightly annoyed when dad first told me. But I’ve changed my mind and I cannot wait” Sasuke answered and placed one of his hands on top of hers to calm her down. “It drives me mad knowing you’re stuck in that house for another 2 months. I have to constantly fight the urge to just sneak in and kidnap you” His tone was light thus turning his words into a joke, Hinata giggled at it, but Sasuke was dead serious.

“I’m glad” Hinata admitted and grabbed his hand with both of hers and brought it to her lips and kissed his knuckles. Her feelings for Sasuke were complex, they started out as indifference when they were simply just individuals belonging to the same world, then they turned to fear and maybe a light form of hate the moment Hiashi announced she had been sold off, but after spending the slightest time with him, she felt relief, admiration and gratitude towards him. He represented a better future, one with freedom and happiness, a future away from her father. Sasuke was her saviour, but even those feelings started to change, her heart would flutter whenever his voice echoed from her phone, she’d constantly check for new texts from him, the days in between their meetings were the longest, while the time spent with him seemed to be so short. Every time he kissed her hand or her forehead she wanted to grab onto his face and bring it down to her face, she wanted to hold his hand, to hug him, but the urge she had most often and the one hardest to fight was to ask for the wedding to be held earlier. Whenever Sasuke drops her off at the Hyuuga estate she wants to ask him to marry her right that moment so she could go home with him.

She spoke to Ino about her feelings and about Sasuke, Ino told her that she was so glad the Uchiha was so nice to her, but that she should be careful, her feelings appeared out of nowhere and they developed so fast, she shouldn’t get too attached to him, shouldn’t become totally dependable of him because in their world ‘love’ was never one to last. Ino’s view on love was jaded after her parents’ divorce, Ino’s father was devastated when his wife left him and his daughter was there to pick up the pieces. Hinata was aware her friend was trying to warn her and shelter her from future heart break, but the thought of Sasuke hurting her seemed outlandish.

They ate pasta this time around, and with every bite, her eyes got bigger and bigger. “This is the best thing I have ever eaten. How can something be this delicious?” She kept praising the food throughout, whenever the waiter came to ask if they needed anything else Hinata would ask him to tell the chef that he is a genius, that his food is the most amazing thing ever. Sasuke smirked and shook his head every time.

“I can stay for longer today, is there anything else you’d like to try?” He asked her as they were walking around the pedestrian central part of Konoha. Hinata had been utterly confused with the concept of a part of the city denying car access, whenever they crossed a street, she’d still check for cars despite Sasuke assuring her that there was no way for one to get there. The central part was crowded and busy with people, Hinata stood a step behind Sasuke trying not to bump into anyone, looking over his shoulder at her to see if she heard his question Sasuke realized she had not, she was far too focused on not hitting anyone to concentrate on anything else. Reaching for her with his hand, he placed his arm around her waist and drew her close to his body. Her face instantly turned beet red and she looked up at him. He lowered his face towards her and Hinata’s brain picked up speed, he would surely kiss her, but there? In front of all those people? Wasn’t a public kiss a bit too much? However, his face passed by hers and only stopped when his lips were next to her ear “I asked if there is anywhere else you want to go. It’s too loud and you couldn’t hear me”

Due to her embarrassment and agitation, she simply pointed at a random building, which turned out to be a Starbucks. The two of them walked together, Sasuke still holding her by the waist, but upon walking into the café he let go, she was disappointed, but only for a moment, for he was simply letting go in order to hold her hand. Their fingers intertwined and the world fell into place, the smell of coffee wasn’t overpowering, actually, the café smelled more of chocolate. Sasuke stopped before reaching the end of the line.

“Take a look at the menu, being here for the first time can be overwhelming with all the options. If you want, we can buy so pastries as well” He already knew well that she enjoyed sweets very much. “What do you usually get?” Her eyes were glued to the menu reading all the ingredients for each beverage.

“I don’t think you’d like what I get. I get a large Americano with 3 espresso shots and no sugar.” Upon hearing his order Hinata scrunched her nose in a disgusted expression, she looked up at him. “So you drink just…black coffee, willingly?” he couldn’t help but laugh at her disbelieve “My dad drinks it that way too, says that putting anything else in coffee is blasphemy. I once asked for sugar and he got so mad… I hadn’t had coffee since then” Her story left a sour taste in his mouth.

“Maybe I’ll get a large Latte with 3 shots of espresso and one cube of sugar after all…” That conversation made him realize that there was nothing he’d hate more than her believing him and Hiashi had anything in common, he’d drink sweet coffee with milk from now until forever if it meant distancing himself from her father’s image. The change in his order made Hinata smile. “I decided as well, I want a vanilla and cinnamon Frappuccino with almond milk” Sasuke placed their orders and out a few fruit tarts as well. Their lunch date turned to a dinner date as well, which had been the longest period they had spent together in one day, thus making it especially hard when it was time for Sasuke to drop her off. Hinata watched from the hallways window as his car slowly disappeared behind the huge gates of their estate, watching him leave made her heart hurt. She knew Sasuke hated leaving her as well, still, she couldn’t help but feel abandoned.

“Are you back?” Hanabi asked as she exited the library, she probably had just finished one of her classes. All of Hinata’s bitterness towards her sister disappeared, now she only felt pity. Hanabi would be stuck in the house forever and she would be free, it was scary how one’s view on certain events could change so fast. Barely a few days ago Hinata thought she was the one being punished, but now realized it was her sister.

��Yes I’m back” Despite her pitying Hanabi, the two weren’t close enough to offer kind words of encouragement and support. “But I’m a bit tired so I’ll go to sleep”

“He didn’t hit you, did he?” it was barely a whisper, but it made Hinata’s blood boil. Her alliances changed the moment Sasuke treated her nicely, hearing Hanabi badmouth him made her want to scream at her sister, but she didn’t. She turned around slowly and smiled. “He didn’t. He would never. He won’t. he isn’t father, there is nothing about him similar to father” Hinata didn’t stay behind to hear Hanabi’s reply. She ran up the stairs and the moment her bedroom door was closed she called Sasuke, he picked up on the second ring.

“I miss you” The words were out of her mouth before she even realized, but she didn’t regret them. “I miss you” she repeated, to show to Sasuke, to herself that she meant them.

“I miss you too” his voice was softer than she had ever heard it, it was a shame she couldn’t see his expression. She closed her eyes and wished for the weeks to fly by.

________

Despite her newfound freedom in the form of a phone with full access to the internet, Hinata’s days seemed to move slower than ever. The time in-between her ‘dates’ with Sasuke were dragging on forever. She’d talk to Ino on the phone, watch videos, read from an ebook, listen to music, cook and barely 2 or 3 hours of the day would have passed. The highlight of her day was always her chat with Sasuke. Apart from their night calls, they kept texting throughout the day as well, but he was busy with work so his replies were few and far in between. Wasting time and dreaming of her future became her routine, each day seemed to be a carbon copy of the previous one. Not today, however, today was a special day, today she, Mikoto and Ino were going to choose her wedding dress. Hinata was practically bouncing, eager to leave the house, eager to try the dresses on, eager to see herself in white, the dress would be proof not only that the wedding was getting nearer, but also that it was indeed reality and not one of her daydreams.

She had been worried her father wouldn’t have allowed for it, but both Fugaku and Sasuke assure him that Naruto, her future bodyguard, was the best and he would be able to protect the three women for the day. Thankfully her father was just as excited about the wedding and would not go and do anything to potentially ruin his newfound friendship with the Uchiha head.

The plan was for Naruto and Mikoto to get to her house around noon, then they would drive to Ino’s and to the dress shop. After picking up the dress they’d go to eat and see the wedding venue and all the plans Mikoto arranged, to make sure Hinata liked everything and if she didn’t so they could change everything by the wedding which was 3 weeks away. Hinata woke up at 7, unable to contain her longing to be outside, she got dressed up, ate and has spent the last 4 hours pacing around the entrance hall.

When her father passed by her early in the morning he lectured her, telling her how she should behave, be respectful, yet vigilant because ‘people are mean and cruel’ because ‘the shop isn’t on out territory’, because ‘you are always in danger.

Neji also spent about half an hour with her talking about her feelings about the wedding, her impression of Sasuke. Her stories and happiness eased his mind and guilt, for he had not been able to stop the arranged marriage. He truthfully wished for her excitement to never die; he hoped the Uchiha household would be a proper environment for her growth.

The only one in the Hyuuga household that was not on board with the marriage was Hanabi. She continued making remarks about Sasuke’s renowned cruelness, hinting that Hinata would not know happiness in her marriage with him. She constantly asked whether he had any violent tendencies towards her, whether he ignored her, whether he cheated on her. Hinata always tried to not let her words get to her, Sasuke was wonderful and more than she had ever hope for, she had no reason to doubt him, so all of Hanabi’s words never had any impact but annoy her. Hinata always defended Sasuke and Hanabi would answer ‘my foolish sister’, patronizing her, making it seem as if she knew more than Hinata herself. Hinata tried to understand where Hanabi was coming from…all of her life she had hoped to be the heir and now she was. But Hinata’s happiness was yet another source of jealousy for Hanabi, she was slowly realizing that once again, she was the one who had the short end of the stick, thus all of her remarks weren’t for Hinata to believe, but for herself. She tried so hard to convince herself Hinata’s future was bleak and Hanabi had to pity her, not the other way around.

Once again, right before Mikoto and Naruto arrived Hanabi made a remark that hurt Hinata’s feelings, a remark which Hanabi too regretted instantly, her remorse could be read on her face, but her ego stopped her from apologizing. “Make sure you pick a pretty dress Hinata, that’s what you’ll be buried in when he kills you on the wedding night” she said loud and clear, for the servants around to hear, had Hiashi been there he would have punished Hanabi for trying to destroy the Hyuuga-Uchiha Union, but all Hinata did was give her a sad smile and answer with “Good luck to you too little sister” Their relationship could never be fixed, not when jealousy was the primal feeling Hanabi held for her, not when her ego stood in the way of a sincere apology, not when Hinata was resigned and no longer wished to try.

Mikoto came like a hurricane, she entered the house without knocking, she hugged Hinata and kissed both of her cheeks, she complimented her on her dress and make-up. Behind her was a blond young man that gave her a warm smile. “This is Naruto, he will be your bodyguard when you enter the family”

Naruto took a step closer but made no attempt to touch her, he simply smiled wider and bowed his head slightly. “It’s a pleasure to meet and protect you Miss Hinata” Naruto’s use of her name and not of Hyuuga felt odd, but freeing; she wanted to move past this family. She would not forget them, for they were part of her, they made her who she was at that moment, but she wanted to leave them and this variation of herself behind, she wanted to become independent and someone she chose to become.

After picking Ino up the group was ready to go to the dress shop, Mikoto had asked Ino to sit in the front seat for she wanted to talk to Hinata in the back. Hinata couldn’t help but notice her friend’s red cheeks whenever she looked Naruto’s way. Hinata couldn’t tell if the flushness was due to the fact that Naruto was a man Ino had never had contact with when she was young, thus she wasn’t used to his company, or whether her blush had a deeper meaning. In the backseat, Mikoto explained certain details about the wedding preparations, her tone was light and she talked without any formalities. Whenever Hinata answered it was an awkward mix of formal and informal language and she refrained from addressing Mikoto directly, for she didn’t know what to call her, Mrs Uchiha, or was that too formal for someone to be her mother-in-law in 3 weeks? Mikoto, but wasn’t that rude to address in such a manner to an older relative?

Upon reaching the dress shop, the designer working there assured the women that she had reserved the whole shop just for them. She was eager to help and to please any and all of Hinata’s requests. “Call me Sakura!” she said as they met “no need for formalities, after all I am here to help you find what you will be wearing on the most important day of your life”

Hinata tried on 5 dresses before finding ‘the one’. It was perfect in every way possible. The bodice was made entirely of lace that was a bit see-through, thus had white material around the chest area in a heart shape. The skirt was long and flowy but not overly heavy, it had beautiful lace details on the bottom of the skirt and a split on the left leg until above the knee. It was a stunning dress, but so were all the ones before, however, the moment Hinata tried it on, it felt different, it felt right. Seeing herself in the mirror her eyes got a bit misty and in her overflow of emotion turned around to hug Sakura who just finished buttoning the last button at her back. She told her how she felt the dress was the one and Sakura’s eyes got a bit misty too. This is what she did that job for, these moments in which a young woman found her perfect one and only dress to wear on her wedding day, she lived to see the happy tears and all the smiles.

“Stay here for a second, I’ll announce that this is it, this is the dress” She learned in the years of doing this job that whenever an instant click between woman-dress happened it should always be said to the party that came to help pick the dress as well so they would not criticize anything and break the magic spell of the moment. “Hinata found it, her perfect dress” Sakura said just moments before Hinata walked in wearing the most radiant smile ever, Ino screamed and ran to hug her and shower her in compliments, Mikoto watched from the side-line as the three young women discussed how perfect the dress was. After a short while, Hinata turned to Mikoto with bashful red cheeks “What do you think Mrs. Uchiha?”

Mikoto went to her and hugged her close as well. “The dress is perfect, it’s everything I hoped you’d find and more” she made a short pause for she felt this pressure in the back of her throat as id she too was about to cry. “and please, call me mother, I know that the wedding will only be in 3 weeks, but you already are my child Hinata dear” Mikoto’s kindness and warmth only made Hinata cry more. Naruto watched with a smile the whole event, he too liked Hinata from what he had seen of her, he was glad his friend was lucky enough for the arranged marriage to lead him to her. Even before he met Hinata he saw Sasuke’s expression when talking about her, he heard the soft tone in which he spoke about her and could tell that his friend held a deep affection for his fiancé.

After the dress picking event, Hinata asked for Sakura’s number to call her in the instance of the dress needing anything done day-of the wedding, that was the excuse anyway, in reality, she simply felt as if the moment they shared in the dressing room was special and wanted to try and keep in contact with her. Their next destination was the wedding hall, followed by other shops to get the wedding shoes, jewellery and her second wedding outfit in which she would change after their first dance. Just like the days in which she had dates with Sasuke, the time flew by and soon enough it was dark outside and time for them to return. After dropping Ino off, instead of driving back to the Hyuuga estate, Naruto took a sudden left turn which led to Hinata’s confusion, doubt and for the smallest second fear. Mikoto placed her hand on her knee and smiled at her, letting her know there was nothing to be afraid of. Despite being quite late, it wasn’t dark out yet, the summer sun refused to set.

The car stopped in front of a restaurant Hinata knew. “Are we getting dinner as well?” She was wondering why did they drop Ino off, maybe Mikot had something to discuss with her in private? Before she could come up with any other speculations, her car door opened and a familiar face greeted her with a smirk on. Her heart started beating faster the moment her eyes met Sasuke’s. She placed her hand in his and was smoothly pulled out of the car and into his arms. “Thank you, mother for dropping her off.” He said and then nodded towards Naruto expressing his thanks to him silently. Hinata was still in a daze and looking up at him as if he was a mere hallucination.

“I finished work earlier and Naruto told me you guys were still out so I asked him to bring you to me” He explained the situation to her and ushered her towards the entrance of the restaurant. It was the same restaurant in which they ate that pasta, out of all the things they tried together those were her favourite. Looking up at Sasuke Hinata kept wondering how Ino could expect her not to fall for him when he treated her this way, he had brought her more joy than she had experienced in her whole life, the memories she had of him were her favourite. He was slowly and steadily becoming the centre of her universe.

Since the moment they got seated and he reached out to hold her hand and slowly brush her wrist with his thumb, Hinata had been fighting the urge to simply utter ‘I love you’. Was it too fast? They met about 2 months ago, they went on dates about twice a week maybe three times if Sasuke’s work allowed for that, however they talked daily, her thoughts were filled with him. She wasn’t confused, these feelings might have started as gratitude for being saved, but they were romantic, she was in love with him, that much she knew. Sasuke noticed how distracted she was during their meal, she barely complimented the chef, but he decided not to pry yet, however, her silence during their walk after dinner bothered him more than he cared to admit. He loved how her eyes sparkled when she spoke about things she loved. She stopped walking and turned to face her, cupping her face in his hands, her eyes fluttered shut for a moment. She looked so lovely, and so utterly small and fragile, he would protect her with everything he had, he would help her build her strength enough to be able to protect herself, but even then, when she was capable, he’d do everything in his power to destroy anything that posed as a threat to her, whether physical, emotional or mental.

“What’s the matter Hinata? You’ve been in deep thought all night” he had been excited to hear all about her day, Naruto kept him updated every hour, but hearing the events from her would have been much more entertaining. Hinata looked into his eyes longingly, he wasn’t sure what she wanted but whatever it was he would give it to her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in.

“I have been...thinking whether I should tell you something the whole night and I cannot seem to find the right answer, what do you think I should do?” her eyes were still closed, too scared to see his reaction. Sasuke was the one confused now, why would she be struggling in such a manner? She should always tell him everything, anything no matter how trivia, he wanted to know every single thought that went on in her mind.

Sasuke took a step closer to her, their bodies were almost touching and he was still affectionately holding her face. “I think you should tell me; I think you should always tell me everything” Hinata’s heart was beating out of her chest, she was scared to look into his eyes as she said it, but she wanted to see him as she said it too. Choosing to be brave today, choosing to believe that Sasuke would catch her when she fell, Hinata opened her eyes, placed both of her hands over his on her face and smiled.

“Ok, I will tell you” Her mind was made, but she still needed a second to compose herself. “I love you”

The feeling Hinata had when putting the dress on was similar to what Sasuke experienced upon hearing those words, however, the magnitude of his feeling was much stronger, it felt as if the planets aligned, as if all the events ever in the world and its history happened as they did in order to lead to this very moment. A star exploded that lead to the creation of a galaxy, to the creation of a planet, to the creation of humanity, all for this one single moment.

He had not thought in depth about his feelings for Hinata, not because he didn’t want to admit them, but rather because it was unknown territory, but the moment she uttered the words he knew them to be true on his side as well. “I’m glad” he answered, his voice cracked so he cleared his throat. “I’m glad you decided to tell me” Hinata’s smile was stunning, she had told him and he was happy, he was moved, she could see a myriad of emotions in his eyes, all slowly falling into place. Sasuke wanted to say the words back but felt oddly fearful and uncertain, he had never experienced that level of awkwardness. “I do too” he muttered feeling defeated, he had chickened out and took a shortcut, but he will try to work harder, he will be able to express his feelings.

Hinata wasn’t mad or sad or disappointed by his answer, she could tell he was trying his best and if she were honest, it was lovely seeing him be the flustered one for a change. They were still in the same position, their faces close to each other, so Hinata once again took the initiative and raised on her tip-toes and kissed him, it was merely a peck. She knew the Uchiha traditions now and wished to follow them thus not being able to fully kiss him, however, the moment felt monumental enough for a small peck to be excused, plus nobody would ever know.

Sasuke stared at her for a moment longer, she was such a complex antithesis, she was weak yet strong, afraid yet brave, clueless yet intelligent, and everything about her made him glad for all the decisions he ever took that led him to her. He was thankful to his father which without even realizing he showed, since his and Hinata’s engagement was announced he and Fugaku have been getting along much better, everything at work went smoother and he often worked harder and faster in order to get a day off to spend with her. Hinata too helped him, their relationship was equally beneficial to both, they both took and both gave.

________

All of the final preparations for the wedding were coming along beautifully, the big event was the next day, but for Hinata even that was too long, the past three months had felt longer than her whole life before her engagement. Everything was better in the Hyuuga household, Neji and her were closer than ever, for he was finally able to be fully honest with her and she too was much happier and open. Her father mostly left her alone, apart from a small incident in which he admitted that he had spoken to her doctors to have her fertility tested almost half a year ago when he and Fugaku were first talking about the union, the test came back positive, but Hinata still felt like that was a huge invasion of her privacy and complained to Sasuke, who in turn argued with both of the older men, but the deed was long done and there wasn’t much he could do but think even lower of Hiashi and treat his father coldly for a while, until Hinata assure him that she had moved past that issue. Even Hanabi stopped her remarks after the incident on the wedding-dress day. After choosing the dress she and Mikoto went out to spend time together a few more times, she even met up separately with Ino and Sakura twice. When Hinata talked about her new friendship with Sasuke he was, in her words ‘delighted’; Sasuke had hoped for the wedding dress girl to become Hinata’s friend after she first told him about her. He had wanted her to have a friend that was well-versed into normality in order to help Hinata at times navigate society, however, he wished for that friendship to bloom naturally, sure he could have done as others would, namely bribe someone into being her friend, but that would only cause issues later, plus being close to Hinata is payment enough.

The weekend before the wedding Hinata was invited to have dinner at the Uchiha estate, she and Mikoto were already very close, however, Fugaku still scared her a little while Itachi seemed nice, but maybe a bit cold and detached, unwilling to fully interact with this world. He reminded her a little of herself when she still lived at the Hyuuga household. Being able to form that connection, after dinner she sought him out and talked to him alone, trying to relate his feelings with her own. Itachi wanted to be freed from his family much like she did, however, the ties keeping him there were much stronger, he loved all of his family but could not fully function and integrate into their world of organized crime.

After her talk to Itachi ended, Fugaku apologized for breaching her privacy and welcomed her to the family. She knew how much that meant, her father had never apologized for anything, so she could only imagine how hard it must have been for Fugaku to step over his pride and ego, she appreciated it more than she let on.

The night before the wedding Hinata had a dream, in that dream, she and Sasuke were laying together on a bed just looking at each other while holding themselves close, she felt at peace with her surroundings and Sasuke’s eyes on her made her feel seen and loved. The whole dream was peaceful, they sit in silence, then talk a little followed by kisses and laughs, which would quiet down to silence and the circle would start anew.

When her servants woke her up at 5 am, she wasn’t annoyed as she normally would have been before any other event, she had taken with her the peacefulness of her dream, she had waited so long for this day it almost felt like this was just another dream too, but the scrubbing her servants did during her bath stung, letting her know that this was reality, the happiness she felt was going to be a constant, for Sasuke will make sure to keep her smiling throughout their whole lives.

Unlike the preparations for other events in which Hinata didn’t particularly care about her looks, she was very specific this time around, she and Mikoto picked together her hairstyle too, her makeup colours and every little detail. Time seemed to dilate at times and a minute felt like an eternity, while other times it felt as if it were on fast-forward, she’d close her eyes for a second and a full hour would have passed.

By 9 am she was completely done, looking at herself in the mirror she remembered the day the engagement was announced, how picturing herself next to Sasuke felt strange, but now, picturing herself without him felt unnatural, her brain and heart finally agreed and they both knew Sasuke was her everything, he would be the one and only to ever stand by her side. While she was admiring herself in the mirror Neji walked in, telling her it was time to go to the church, the wedding was about to begin.

Nothing could ruin her perfect day, not even Hiashi holding her hand proudly as he walked her down the aisle, not even Hanabi refusing to make eye contact with her, all she could see and all that mattered was Sasuke at the end of the red rug, standing tall and handsome. Everything that had happened before in her life almost didn’t matter, this was the moment her life began. She barely heard anything the priest said, her answers were mostly done on auto-pilot, only when it was the moment for the rings to be exchanged did her eyes water, hearing Sasuke say ‘I do’ was a memory she’ll treasure forever. Their first official kiss was short, much shorter than she had hoped it would be, but even that didn’t ruin her mood, for she had walked inside a Hyuuga and left an Uchiha.

It was during their first dance that Sasuke whispered “I love you” he softly into her ear, only for her alone to hear, it had taken him a bit longer than her but he got to the point in which he could express his feeling in words too, for he had told her he loved her countless times with his actions alone. “I love you too” she replied and pulled his face to her for a kiss, not caring remotely that people were watching her. She would not be punished for causing a scene, Hiashi had no more power over her and Sasuke would never cage her or treat her like an inferior. She had the freedom to do whatever she wanted, and her first choice was to kiss her husband in front of all of those people on her wedding night.

@sasuhinamonth

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crystaljins · 4 years

Text

Equinox

Characters: Jimin x Reader

Word count: 7.2K

Synopsis: When it first was announced that the King of Spring was to marry the Queen of Winter, shock and outrage poured across the nation. Now, six months later, Jimin can’t help but feel maybe the Queen of Winter isn’t as evil as she seems.

King of spring!Jimin x Queen of Winter!reader

Notes: This is NOT the huge fic I’m working on LOL. It’s a drabble that turned into a BIG drabble, in dedication to my good friend, who wanted to see a fic where both main characters are royalty.

Well, here we are.

Warnings: Not really any? Pining, maybe, mentions of death and tragedy, and maybe one big kiss?

Jimin has spent an entire three months of the year in the Central Palace every year since his coronation as the King of Spring. Yet, despite his familiarity with the luxurious building, this year it feels particularly unbearable.

It isn’t the palace itself that is unbearable. After all, the Central Palace fulfils any need he could have for luxury and then some, with expansive grounds and an imposing throne room and a ball room that many have only dreamed of seeing. It almost reaches the point where he’s sick of it sometimes- the gold rimmed pillars and the intricate carvings of the stairwell railings and the other numerous unnecessary and excessively decadent detailing.

It’s just... He much prefers his small cottage and the lovely little orchard he looks after. Sometimes children from the local village will sneak in and steal fruit but he merely smiles privately to himself when he hears the peals of laughter filter through the open windows of his home. And ever since he received a letter a week ago informing him that you had made his cottage your current abode, he has been inexplicably eager to return home.

The end of his current stay (which has actually been a six month stay this time around instead of the usual three) draws near, with Spring just on the precipice of Summer. As the reigning King of Spring, it is his duty to oversee the entire kingdom during the season where his powers are strongest, to manage the season and ensure his people prosper, and then prepare the way for the Queen of Summer to take his place for the next three months.

Today is one of the days where his duty feels particularly tedious- he has never particularly minded Haeun and her chatty nature, but today she just seems absolutely asinine. Perhaps it is the fact that she seems uninterested in discussing anything aside from the current status of the Queen of Winter when there are so many more important things to discuss, like the crop maturation this year and how much sunlight would best benefit their ripening, or even the Equinox Ball tonight which marks the official changeover between his season and her’s. Instead, the only words that have been coming out of her mouth are with regards to you, and him, and your fairly recent wedding.

When he had been wedded to you on the Winter Solstice, many had been shocked, but none more so than the Queen of Summer. After all, for the last few hundred years, the one who bears the crown of Summer had always been betrothed to the ruler of Spring. It was only natural, as Spring prepares the way for Summer, and such a pairing enhances the powers of both parties. The kingdom had faced many centuries of prosperity thanks to what was essentially a match forged in the heavens. No doubt in Haeun’s mind, her rightful place was as his bride. And Jimin can’t blame her- for many years, he had thought the same thing. He had assumed his life would follow a similar path to those of his predecessors and that he would inevitably end up marrying Summer. And yet, here he is, married to the evasive, mysterious, and apparently cruel Queen of Winter.

It had been the Elders to make the call to arrange such a shocking match up. To have the Queen of Winter marry the King of Spring was unheard of- ridiculous, even. But you were unlike the rulers that had gone before you- your powers were endless, unstoppable, and the Winters brought by you were unforgiving and cold, and many lost their lives. Something had to be done- your powers had to be balanced since you couldn’t seem to reign them in. And since it has always been Spring to conquer the cold aftereffects of Winter, to warm the earth and coax life back into places where frost had chased it away, it fell to Jimin to take the place as your husband and to prevent disaster striking the Kingdom. A duty which he had taken up with a resigned sense of obligation.

At least at first.

“So are the rumours all true about her?” Haeun enquires. Her question seems innocent enough. For whatever reason, you had always remained frustrating allusive to the others. Locked away in your wintry fortress (or at least, everyone assumes that’s where you must be despite the fact that no one has ever confirmed the presence of a fortress within your domain), everyone reports that you must be ruthless and cold-hearted. Perhaps even evil- after all, when you are seated upon the throne, the harshest and most brutal Winters ever seen in history terrorise the lands.

But the question has Jimin on edge, for he has found that you do not fit nicely into the box of icy and cruel that he had thought you would.

“I would say those rumours do not hold an ounce of truth to them.” Jimin offers mildly, pausing from where he strolls along Haeun to observe a rose bloom that has begun to wilt. Normally, the palace gardens are impeccable, and the gardens thrive during Jimin’s reign, but things always seem to get a bit messy at the transition between seasons. This particular bloom must be the victim of his and Haeun’s powers clashing as she prepared to take the throne for her season. He gently runs his fingers over the drooping petals and instantly the rose brightens, petals curling upwards as it finds new life in response to his presence. It reminds him of the first time you had borne witness to the effect of his powers and the quiet awe on your face. Not for the first time since Spring began, he feels a strange ache in his chest at the thought of you. You’re at his cottage right now, surely. What kind of expression are you wearing as you gaze upon his carefully kept orchard?

“Really? She’s always so haughty at the Equinox ball that I was sure she thought she was better than us. Just because her powers are stronger- does she not know that people die because of her?” Haeun sniffs, clearly displeased by the way Jimin has not joined in her obvious attempts to complain about you.

“I think she is aware of it.” Is all Jimin offers to Haeun, but internally he recalls the way you lock yourself in your quarters for the night whenever word reaches you that another innocent has died at the cold hands of Winter, and the way you spend most of your free time pouring over books and texts trying to learn how you might control your powers and soften your Winters. Haeun makes an annoyed scoff and folds her arms across her chest.

“Being aware of it isn’t enough, Jimin.” She says, and Jimin does not miss the way she uses his name when it is customary to call him by his season. “She needs to control it. We all do! It is the whole reason we take the throne. What use is she, if she cannot manage her own season? If I had were Winter, I would-“

“Haeun.” Jimin says firmly, and her eyes widen because even though she often takes liberties and calls him by his name, he has always been respectful and referred to her as Summer when it comes to the transition meetings between seasons. “It is not my place to discuss the personal life of Winter. And as her husband, I respectfully ask that you do not speak so liberally about my wife again. Unless you have anything further to discuss about the Equinox Ball tonight or about the occurrences during my season, I’ll be taking my leave now.”

He bows deeply, demonstrating the respect her position demands, before turning on his heel.

“Doesn’t it bother you?” She calls out. Jimin pauses, glancing over his shoulder. The sun peeking through the pillars of the pathway catches Haeun’s hair and highlights the softness of her features. Across the land, she is known as the sunlit beauty- warm and gentle and pretty, like the Summer season she reigns over. When he was young and still a prince and everyone had thought she was his future wife, he had even harboured a crush on her. “That you’re stuck with her? All she brings is coldness and death. You were forced into it- I know you were! Doesn’t it hurt to be wedded to her?”

The unspoken sentiment that Haeun does not voice is “when you could have been with me”. Looking at her now, perhaps her sudden interest in you has more to do with Jimin than any real sentiment towards your actions.

And perhaps, Haeun’s words are closer to the truth then he wants them to be. Initially, it had bothered him. Why had the Elders had forced him to marry you? Was there not an easier way to subdue your immense powers? Why could you not just... control them? Even Autumn, free-spirited and lazy as he was, kept his season well-managed. And why did it fall to Jimin to fix something that was your own fault? Haeun was a much better match for him in terms of strengthening his powers, and he absolutely loathed the season of Winter- marrying the ruler of his least favourite season is certainly not something he had ever imagined doing.

He had spent the first three months of his marriage staying with you in the Central Palace fuelled by that sentiment and at first you had made yourself very scarce. It had suited Jimin just fine- after all, he did not bear any particular affection towards you- perhaps he even detested you a little, and if the rumours were to be believed, he’d be better off interacting with you as little as possible.

And then things had changed, for whatever reason. He can’t be sure what prompted you to do it, but one morning you had been sitting across from him in the dining quarters, enjoying your breakfast in silence as had become customary for the two of you, when you had decided to speak.

“Winter isn’t as bad as you think.” You had said softly, taking a long sip of your drink, before fixing Jimin with a level gaze. He had glanced up in surprise- at that stage he could probably count on one hand the number of times you had spoken in his presence.

“I never-“ Jimin had begun, ready to defend himself but you had cut him off.

“You didn’t have to.” You had said, though your tone had not been unkind. You actually have a very sweet voice, one that contrasts with your icy reputation. “But, today I have nothing scheduled, and I wouldn’t mind showing you a few things. It must be better than wondering aimlessly around the palace.”

Against his better judgement, perhaps, Jimin had accepted. Whatever his feelings were towards you, he was sick of wondering aimlessly. He missed his little cottage and he was beginning to grow sick of the giant, draft-y Central Palace. Any change to the lethargic rhythm of his days, even if it meant spending the day with you, was a welcome one.

And you were right. Wintertime is more than coldness and death. As the ruler of Spring, he had always thought of it as such- after all, it has always been his duty to remedy the devastation left behind by Winter. But Winter is also a time of festivities- of huddling in the warmth of a fire along side your family. Its catching snowflakes on your tongue and children laughing as they skate over frozen lakes and form little ice sculptures from snow. He hadn’t known it until he spent those three months with you. And after that first day where you had taken him out to a frozen lake close to the palace and shown him how to ice skate, spending time with you had become more of a regular occurrence.

Which brings him to today.

“I’m not stuck with her.” Is what Jimin finally says to Haeun, who deflates, just slightly. He does not explain any further- he’s not sure he can. He certainly doesn’t feel the burden of obligation that had weighted his every step when he first married you. He perhaps even misses you, after three months of separation. It’s all a little scary and confusing but all he knows for sure is that being married to you is no longer the offensive chore he initially viewed it as.

This time when Jimin turns away, she does not stop him. He is relieved- he is sick of hearing Haeun speak so disrespectfully about you. He’s sick of the way servants whisper in the halls when you walk past. He’s sick of the way travellers tell stories of evil Winter, who takes lives for fun and revels in the cruelty of her blizzards. He doesn’t know why, given that it has only been six months since he married you, and three whole months since he even last saw you in person, but he feels a strange protectiveness towards you. Just the thought of those whispers when he knows of you, curled up beneath the security of a warm blanket on the hearth, with the fire’s glow highlighting your features, still studying away even after a full days’ worth of royal duties so that you can learn to control your powers makes his heart ache. He wishes, just once, that he had been brave enough to curl up beside you and to listen to the steady sound of your breathing, the rhythmic turn of a page, the crackle of the fire’s warmth. Or brave enough to hush the terrible whispers. Anything to wipe that expression you get on your face when you know people are thinking unpleasant things about you. That guarded, reserved expression that he knows is concealing a broken heart.

“My Lord!” Jimin hears a voice call, and he almost curses. He wants nothing more than to return to his quarters and begin packing up. It has now been six months since he has been in his actual home, and when he received that letter from you a week ago informing him that you had taken up residence in his home, he had only been more eager to return. He wants to know what his home looks like with you in it. He wants to know what you look like in the brightness of Summer, away from the grief and cold of Winter. He wants to see you again to the point it is almost alarming. “My Lord!” The voice calls again, and one of the servants skids to a stop before Jimin. It is Namjoon. Jimin recalls his name because Namjoon is one of the few servants you are rather fond of.

“Hello, Namjoon.” Jimin greets warmly, and Namjoon looks surprised and delighted at the sound of his name. “How can I be of service?”

Namjoon is slightly out of breath, and he reaches for the pocket of his trousers, fishing around until he produce a single crumpled piece of paper.

“It is a letter from Winter.” Namjoon says. “She asked me to relay to you that she will not be attending the Equinox Ball and that she shall see you tomorrow at the your domain.”

Jimin’s eyes widen and he quickly snatches the paper from Namjoon’s hand. He does not mean to be quite so aggressive with his movements, but he is shaken at the way you have abruptly cancelled. Without even realising it, he had hyped himself up at the thought of seeing you again after a long three months.

It’s a lengthy apology, neatly written and well-articulated. It basically gives an entire, eloquent list of flimsy excuses as to why you should not attend.

But Jimin sees straight through it. Perhaps in the past, he would have let it be. Let you sit at home and then awkwardly greet you in his cottage the next morning. But now that he knows the way your expression shutters when people mutter rude things under their breath about you, now that he knows the way you lie awake at night, haunted by grief and guilt, he knows that you are running away. After all, the whispers had only gotten worse after your marriage- the Evil Queen of Winter shackling the charming and kind King of Spring is certainly quite the tale to set tongues wagging.

And while Jimin hates the thought of you spending an evening in discomfort when there are about a thousand better ways for you to spend your time, he hates the thought of people thinking of his marriage to you as a tragic event even more. He wants to stroll into the ballroom with your hand in his, to proudly show off that he is not some tragic heroine trapped in a loveless marriage to an evil overlord. He wants people to see you, your kindness and your sweetness. He wants people to realise that Winter can be even warmer than Summer sometimes, in the right circumstances.

“Is she currently in my domain?” Jimin asks softly, but he knows from the floral, woodsy scent of the paper that it was written in his home. Namjoon hesitates before offering an awkward nod.

“I believe so.” He admits. “The messenger who brought the letter was one of the keepers of your orchard.”

Jimin nods, tonguing thoughtfully at the inside of his cheek. A well-cared for horse would allow him to reach his home within a couple of hours. He keeps his own horses at the cottage who would be able to take the two of you back in time for nightfall. He is to give a speech at the Ball and that will be his last official duty until next year. And for whatever reason, he does not want to give the speech if you are not there, amongst the crowd. It’s still possible if he leaves now.

“Ready a horse for me, Namjoon,” Jimin finally says, shoving the letter into the pocket of his trousers. He’ll have to change into gear more appropriate for a long ride.

“But, my liege, the ball-“ Namjoon protests.

“I’ll be there.” Jimin reassures him, though his expression is grim. “And so will my wife.”

Namjoon doesn’t need to be told twice.

Jimin has really, truly missed his home. Nothing quite compares to it. When they had first identified him as heir to the throne of Spring, the Elders had initially planned for him to stay in the castle inhabited by his predecessors. After all, since he did in theory bear their spirit, the castle should technically be to his tastes.

But he guess he differs to his previous incarnations, since he only lasted a few weeks before he moved into the cottage his parents owned close to the castle. It’s not unusual for tastes to change like that with different incarnations of Spring- though he feels that he can recall their previous lifetimes if he thinks very hard about it, they are different people and incarnations. The only traits he shares with those who had gone before is his power over the season of Spring.

Perhaps that is why, despite the fact that previous Springs have deeply loved Summer, he cannot stop thinking about Winter. Especially as the edge of the orchard draws into view.

Oddly, you aren’t in the cottage when he enters. There’s evidence that you’ve been staying there- some of your books are scattered over his work desk and the gardening implements around the back of the cottage are shifted around as if someone has been sorting through them. But it does not take long to locate you deep in the orchard, crouched beneath the orange tree. You don’t seem to have registered his presence yet given that you continue to mutter to yourself as you stab aggressively at the soil with a tiny hand shovel he recognises from the implements he keeps around the back of his cottage.

He’s about to confront you, but the sight of you, crouched down and wearing oversized trousers and an ugly, soil covered shirt he recognises from the very back of his wardrobe, has him completely frozen. It’s hard to explain the emotion- a powerful, roaring wave crashing down on the peaceful shorelines of his heart.

“(Y/N),” your name comes in a exhale of his breath, one that’s not entirely voluntary. It’s his mistake though, because you were absolutely not anticipating his presence, and you leap about a metre in the air in your shock.

Stumbling back a few steps in a sort of awkward crab walk, revealing your handy work. A small hole you had been digging and a handful of withered, lifeless daffodils.

“J-Jimin,” you stutter, and your accidental use of his name when you had previously only referred to him as Spring has his heart racing in his chest for reasons he doesn’t quite understand. “T-this isn’t what it looks like!” You cry. “I was just...”

It takes a moment, but Jimin manages to shake himself out of the trance long enough to realise that the withered and lifeless daffodils just so happen to be his favourite flowers from

his front garden. Immediately, whatever mysterious emotion that had overcome him prior is replaced by abject horror.

“My daffodils!” He cries, stricken with grief. And they had been so young, as well! Such lovely, bright blooms, withered and dried up! Abruptly, you scramble to your feet and dust the soil from your hands and knees, scrambling towards him.

“I was just trying to water them!” You cry, hands outstretched in an attempt to calm him in his distress. “I don’t have any flowers in my domain since the ground is not very fertile and I was just trying to tend to them!”

“They’re dead!” Jimin points out. “How much did you water them?”

You pause, shrinking under his gaze, before holding up ten fingers.

“Ten?” Jimin asks, and you nod. “Ten what?”

You mumble something he doesn’t quite catch. He steps closer in an attempt to decipher your sheepish mumblings.

“What?” Jimin asks, and you sigh before fixing him with a steady glare.

“Ten buckets!” You cry. “I asked your gardener and she told me that these are fickle plants that require constant moisture!”

“So you watered them with ten buckets of water? You drowned my daffodils!” He cries. You deflate, just slightly, glancing forlornly at the fallen remains of his beloved babies. He’d so carefully tended to them as well! They were just reaching the point where he could lift the buds and replant them. There’s a nice sunny spot at the back of the orchard that they would have thrived in, and now... and now...

“I’m sorry for your loss.” You finally offer, stepping forward to comfortingly pat at his shoulder. “They lived a good life, under your care,” you continue. “And once you finish off your duties at the Equinox Ball tonight I’m sure you can...” You trail away slowly, and the hand stroking his shoulder slows its pats. And then you gasp in horror when you register that Jimin is here, in his orchard, grieving over some dead daffodils instead of finalising preparations for the Equinox Ball. “Jimin!” You cry. “The Ball! How can you be here? You’re supposed to be preparing for the Ball.”

“Well,” Jimin snaps, perhaps a bit more grumpy than the situation really warranted, but you also killed his lovely daffodils. “I am supposed to be there, but my lovely wife decided she’d much rather kill my daffodils and hide the evidence instead of attend the Ball as is her duty!”

You flush, a shade that he can’t help notice is a rather endearing shade despite everything. Dimly, he recalls that overwhelming feeling he’d experienced when he first saw you earlier, but he pushes it down. There are more pressing matters to attend to- his daffodils can be given a proper burial later.

“Yes, well, as you read in my letter, I thought it would be far better for me to-“ you begin, clearing your throat awkwardly as you often do before giving a formal address. It only irks him further that you’re placating him as if he’s a random parliament member who needs coddling or a foreign emissary you have to charm. He’s your husband and he’s sick of people- you included- pretending otherwise.

“You’re running away.” He offers quietly, and your eyes widen. Perhaps you had been expecting him to dance around the bushes. After all, three months ago during Winter, though you had grown undeniably closer, there had always been the feeling of treading on eggshells around each other. Like neither of you really knew how to react together. But a lot has changed, in three months. Jimin has had three months to overthink and to pretend he doesn’t know the name for the feelings of longing he can’t shake off and to deny that he misses you and now that you’re finally here in front of him, he does not want to waste another second.

That crashing, roaring wave in his heart will not quieten, and finally he gives it a platform to pour out.

“You’re scared. I get that. You don’t know what you’re feeling and everyone and their mother seems to have an opinion on our marriage and maybe you think it will be easier if you stay out of the public eye,” Jimin tells you urgently. He steps forward as if he is approaching a startled deer. “But it won’t be. They won’t ever stop. So why let them dictate what makes you happy?”

You just stare at him, speechless, and he takes your silence as permission to step a little closer. Every movement he makes is slow and steady- you have to option to pull away at any moment. He stretches out a hand, wraps his fingers around yours and then raises your hand slowly towards his heart, letting you rest your palm flat against the thrumming rhythm.

“I missed you.” They aren’t the words he intended to say. He’s not even entirely sure what words he had planned to convince you to come with him. But those words are the ones that burst forth. He can’t hold back anymore. He feels like he’s spent three whole months trying to prevent a volcano from erupting, and he’s exhausted. He can’t hold back anymore, he can’t keep up the facade that he’s ok, when you took his heart with you when you agreed to move out of the Central Palace at the request of the Elders three months ago. “I want you to be at the Ball with me. If we leave now, we can make it. Please- do this with me.” He begs.

He’s met with silence. The longer it stretches out, the more dread slowly filters into his heart. It takes him a long few moments, but when he finally gains the courage to gaze upon your expression, his heart drops into his feet.

Tears pour over your cheeks. You’re normally so put-together, but with your guard down in his absence, dirt smidges your cheeks and the sun gilds your skin. You’re so heart achingly beautiful. It’s like the sensation of stone giving way, the way he feels a crevice form in his heart at the sight.

“Jimin,” you finally say, and your voice is barely above a whisper. “We can’t...”

You trail away, but it’s enough. He feels a bit like you’ve slapped him. He’d thought... he’d thought it had been the both of you struggling in your separation, but it seems it was only him. He’s a fool- how could be have ever thought he was strong enough to thaw the frozen heart of Winter?

“Right.” He says, humiliated by the way his voice cracks. “Well. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. Duty calls.”

He turns on his heel so that you can’t see the way tears sting at the back of his eyes.

You don’t stop him as he leaves.

The Queen of Winter is a dignified woman. Tucked far away in her fortress, the common folk speculate that she does not have a heart.

For a long time, you’d thought maybe it was true, but this constant ache in your chest is proving otherwise.

“Are you just going to watch him go?” Yoongi, your personal guard, asks lazily. He is reclined in one of the cosy arm chairs in the centre of Jimin’s cottage, munching away at one of the apples he stole from the tree at the front of the cottage. You spare him a glance over your shoulder, before returning your gaze to the cantering horse that moves further and further away with each passing moment.

“What else can I do?” You finally ask, tearing your gaze from the window and settling into the chair opposite Yoongi. Unlike him, you sit neatly, with your knees pressed together and your ankles tucked delicately to the side. Yoongi shrugs, crunching through another mouthful of apple.

“Well you could have said no one was home when Summer knocked on your door last week like I suggested. But no. You had to invite her in and make her tea and let her get under your skin and now here we are, missing the feast of the year so that you can sulk.” He grumbles, crunching a bit more aggressively. Normally, Yoongi is a placid, lethargic sort of guy, but he’s been grumpy ever since Haeun showed up unannounced last week. Well, actually, he’s been like this ever since you received the order from the Elders to vacate the Central Palace in case you disturbed the prosperity of the oncoming Spring. After all, their plan had worked- having Jimin stay with you in the Central Palace had been enough to curb your Winter, but they didn’t want to offset his powers of Spring.

“Yoongi,” you begin tiredly, ready to feed him the same ridiculous lines about your duty and your out of control powers that you’re sick of saying, but he cute you off.

“No.” He snaps, the most forceful he’s ever been with you in perhaps his entire life. “You listen to me.”

You’re too surprised by his aggression to retort, which gives him the opportunity to launch off in a furious tirade.

“You finally had a good thing going for you. Finally someone who didn’t blame you for your Winters, someone who was kind and made you smile for the first time in literal years, and now you want me to sit here and accept that a cantankerous, overheated she-witch has the power to take that way with a couple of weak and not very witty jibes?” He demands. “What happened to the Queen of Winter? The woman who ate hearts for breakfast and drank the blood of her victims as wine?”

“She never existed.” You frown. “I faint when i accidentally kill a mosquito-“

“But you let those rumours circulate. You never tried to correct them because you never gave a damn about the small fry, so why are you letting some over-baked half-wit get to you?” He demands, pointing an accusing, half-eaten apple in your direction.

You are silent as you recall the encounter the previous week. You had just finished penning a letter to Jimin to inform him you were looking forward to meeting with him when he returned to his cottage, when there had been an unexpected banging on the door.

Haeun and you have never had a good relationship. Instinctively, Summer and Winter are on opposite ends of the spectrum, but she’d also always loathed the way your powers ran wild. After your cold, unforgiving Winters, she always had to burn hotter, and more intensely during the Summer to compensate, and it probably took its toll on her. And to add insult to injury, you had married the love of her life at the request of the Elders. The knowledge that you had taken something so important from her had been why you couldn’t just slam the door in her face even though Yoongi had gestured for you to do so just out of her view.

He’s usually right though, since he’s quite gifted at reading people, and he was right that you should have kicked her out then and there. Haeun had nothing but poison to spill forth from her lips.

Logically, you know the things she was saying were said with the intent to hurt you. Jimin had proved his kindness and warmth again and again during the three months you had lived together and it had even started to reach the point where it felt like he was your real husband. Not just an assigned keeper with the legal right to receive your belongings if you one day died. It felt like he actually cared- the way he sat with you on long, cold nights, the secret smiles he offered over breakfast, the way he left tea outside your bedroom door when he knew you had been up late studying.

Jimin had done the impossible, warming the cold, frozen tundra your heart had lived in, and what you long for in return is to be the person who brings warmth to his Winters. Who holds him in the cold. Who rejoices with him in the bright months of Summer. You’d spent the whole of Spring in a joyful, happy cloud, remembering the way your Winter had been gentle and soft for the first time in your whole life.

And then you’d heard what Haeun had to say.

“I’m just concerned.” She had told you, dress in a dainty Summer dress that allowed the warm Spring sun to warm her shoulders. She always wears loud, cheerful colours and on that day she had worn a bright yellow to match the daffodils you had desperately been trying to keep alive. “I’m only saying this because I know you care about him too, and I would want to know this if I were in your shoes.”

Yoongi had been watching the whole exchange with an expression on his face like he’d swallowed a sour lemon and he had rolled his eyes when she’d said that. And yet, you hadn’t been able to approach her words with the same disdain.

“You know how beloved Spring is. For him to be wedded to you is causing a lot of distress within the kingdom! And the things people are saying about him- that he’s bewitched by your enchantments, that he’s weak-willed and unworthy to lead.” She gazes at you with a glare and the hardest part of all this is that she’s telling the truth. She really came here out of a sense of duty to Jimin because she wants you to stop interfering with his life. “Why couldn’t you have just learned to use your powers instead of turning his life upside down like this?”

And hadn’t that been the final nail in the coffin. Even now, a week later, you are still reeling from her words. It had been with a heavy heart you had decided not to make an appearance at the Ball.

But you hadn’t expected this to happen- for it to hurt just as much to refuse Jimin’s request to go with him. Why does it hurt both way? Why is it that if you have him, you ruin his life, but if you reject him, he looks at you like that? Like you’ve betrayed him? Like you’ve set fire to his orchard before his very eyes?

“Because I love him.” You admit to Yoongi. He chokes for a moment, surprised by your admission, before staring at you with wide eyes.

“You what?” He demands, and you offer him a weak smile.

“I love him, Yoongi.” You say again, and Yoongi’s gaze softens because he’s known you since you were a child in the Central Palace for the first time and he’s never seen such warmth in your eyes. You aren’t the Queen of Winter for nothing. “I love him so much I don’t know what to do and I just feel like no matter what choice I make it hurts.”

You hate the way your voice chokes, and Yoongi lifts from his chair, walking over to you to rest a warm hand over your own.

“So if your choices are being hurt and miserable and being hurt and happy, why not choose the path that has at least a little bit of good in it?” Yoongi asks you gently. You stare at him, surprised, and he offers you a grin. “There’s a dress in your wardrobe with your name on it and if we leave now we should make it in time for Spring’s Official Address.” He tells you, straightening and stretching out with a yawn. “Better go get my riding boots.” He sighs.

For a moment, you are frozen at Yoongi’s words, but then slowly a grin splits your face.

He’s right. Both choices hurt- so why not choose the one where you get to be with Jimin?

You gaze out the window at where the Sun is just beginning to sink into late afternoon.

You have a Ball to get to.

Jimin isn’t sure how he’s made it this far into the night. He feels like he’s just hollowly going through the motions and it’s a wonder that no one has picked up that he feels like he’s walking around with a stomach full of glass shards. If he’d known a broken heart hurt this much, he’d have long ago cast aside his heart to save himself the pain.

“Are you excited?” Haeun questions cheerfully. She wears a long, golden dress that shimmers and catches the lights of the chandelier overhead as she moves. Her hair is carefully braided over her left shoulder, leaving her collar bones and delicate throat exposed. Yet the sight of the daffodil flower crown woven into her hair atop her head just seems to mock him.

“I suppose.” He answers, with an empty smile. Haeun beams in response. She’s in an awfully good mood today and it only seems to worsen his own mood. “I’m ready for a nine month break from my duty.”

She offers him a bright laugh, and the two of them are interrupted by a firm clap against Jimin’s shoulder. He winces and turns to find Taehyung beaming at him.

“Hello, brother!” He says cheerfully. “I haven’t seen you since the start of Spring! How is your lovely wife? I was just thinking I should pop over to visit her and then I learned that she wasn’t in her domain. Imagine my surprise when I head that she’s been staying in the Spring domain for the past three months. I trust the marriage is going well?” He questions, with a suggestive waggle of his strong brows.

Jimin is unable to stop his expression from falling. All night, he’s managed to at least keep up a facade that he’s ok, but those words hit just a little bit too hard. He just and quickly slips the false smile back onto his face, but the King of Autumn has always been quick-witted, and he does not miss the devastation on Jimin’s face.

“Jimin?” He asks slowly. Haeun looks a little confused at the slow, careful tone of Taehyung’s voice and at the use of Jimin’s name. “Is everything alright?”

Jimin offers him another hollow smile but he is saved the effort of lying when his advisor comes rushing over.

“My Lord!” Seokjin cries. “It is time for your address! Please hurry to the stage.” He clicks his tongue a few times, corralling Jimin towards the stage.

He supposes it is now or never.

The tradition for the handover of Spring to Summer is fairly straight forward- at the Ball, Jimin is to deliver an address, celebrating the prosperity of Spring and wishing Summer well for her season. It’s usually one of his favourite duties- to gaze upon the faces of his subjects, to know that his words kickstart a weeklong festival where people will dance in the streets and sing with joy at the arrival of their long awaited Summer. But today, he feels as if he is made of wood as he takes the stage.

“I thank you all for coming,” he begins. A simple spell cast upon the stage allows his voice to be amplified so that everyone can hear him. “As you all know, this particular Spring has been a big one for me. I have spent not three, but six whole months in the Central Palace, overseeing the seasons.” He offers a fake cheeky smile. “Safe to say I’m a little homesick.” That earns him a little chuckle for he is infamous for his simple and modest home. “But it has been my most triumphant Spring yet, because I...”

No one is more surprised than him at the way his words seem to fail him.

“Because I...” he tries again, but the words are choked off and the audience starts to murmur in confusion.

He can’t do it- he can’t fake happiness and merriment. Not when you aren’t even here. Not when you had been the source of his happiness for the last six months.

“Because...”

And then the doors to the ballroom swing open and he gazes upon the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.

You wear a floor length gown. As is custom, your dress matches your season, shimmering blue with diamonds cast upon it that catch the light and dance like floating snowflakes. You hair falls around your face, flushed with exertion and your eyes are bright, even from across the room.

An eerie hush falls upon the room. No one has ever seen Winter so dishevelled; and yet she is by no means ugly or unappealing. No, in fact, for years after people will sing songs about your beauty this night- how your eyes shine brighter than the stars in the sky and how your smile holds a joy no one had ever thought you capable of.

Slowly, you step towards him. The crowd parts around you, and yet it is like you are the only person in the room. Even if he had wanted to speak, he would have been incoherent. The roaring feeling in his heart is now a tsunami- he’s swept away. He’s in love beyond what he ever thought was capable. He loves you- he loves you!!

“Jimin,” you say, smiling sweetly when you finally stop in front of him. “I’m so sorry I’m late.”

And then you kiss him, bold and happy, in front of the entire ballroom and Jimin feels his heart may explode.

There is, of course, much to discuss after your arrival to the Ball. Haeun’s words- your fears and insecurities- Jimin’s own feelings. There is so much to discuss and yet that night, Jimin is only capable of one thing. After his address finishes, he holds you in his arms as the two of you sway in a gentle waltz. He presses a gentle kiss to the crown of your head and he feels you smile into the crook of his neck.

There is so much to say, and so much to do, but the two of you have your whole lives together to discuss it.

#jimin x reader #park jimin x reader #bts fluff #jimin fluff #park jimin scenarios #writing

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qiankunfics · 3 years

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Fics Alert & Updates

New Fics

KunTen

1. My gorgeous by Holmes_n_Moriarty

Summary: Kun is perfect until he's not. Rating: General Status: On-Going

2. Lil' Something by ugly_little_sandcastles

Summary: There's just something about Ten that burrows beneath his skin, prickling and sharp and hot, hot, hot. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

3. Dandelions by eyesonflowers

Summary: After four years, Ten reunited with Kun. Rating: Mature Status: On-Going

4. to fall in love in the wintertime by energyboyeric

Summary: To fall in love in the wintertime, Ten decides, is to fall in love with stillness. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

5. honey, shut your mouth by lowkeyamen

Summary: It's date night but Kun, wrecked from work, is on the brink of falling asleep. Ten knows just how to solve that. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot Fem!KunTenWin

6. The Home My Forefathers Built by jiaqins

Summary: Kun is a brilliant Parisian med student, he has two jobs which he is fond of and relatives whom he loves—even when they are as annoying as his cousin Yangyang. But too many challenges stand in his way and disturb the stability he cherishes so dearly. Rating: Teen Status: On-Going

7. crazy over you by andnowforyaya

Summary: The photo of Kun's next mark was a flattering one. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot Trigger: Death

8. When the time is right by drawing_board

Summary: Nothing in the way he feels towards Ten significantly changes. But he realizes that somewhere in there was a latent desire for more. Rating: Mature Status: On-Going

9. the last three times we'll meet (see you again) by kloudoie

Summary: Ten sees the number he'll meet people behind their backs–except one. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

10. better days around the corner with you by tullycat

Summary: On a Monday afternoon, the most beautiful man Kun has ever seen walks into the café. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

11. Dreamscape by YHXLWTK

Summary: Ten sighed dramatically and took a step forward so he was standing beside Kun. “You’re my partner for tonight.” Rating: Mature Status: On-Going

12. No matter how goods you're at pretending, your eyes can't lied by Mywoojinie

Summary: NCT2020 promotions really makes relationship between Ten and Kun stumbles. Well. Johnny are there, of course Kun would be jealous. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

13. Unnatural by dojaefairy

Summary: The first time Ten cheats on his boyfriend, he tells himself it's a one-time mistake. It's unnatural of him to cheat on Johnny. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot Trigger: Cheating

14. Mystery Boy by taetens

Summary: Kun has kept most of his life private, so when he opens up about his newest relationship with some hot shot fashion designer, no one believes him. Rating: Mature Status: On-Going

15. The Good Side by starrykun

Summary: Kun and Ten work for the same company and were paired to work together to make a collab album. But will things work out between the two? Rating: Teen Status: On-Going

16. slow dancing in the dark by camellia117

Summary: in which kun needs to learn how to slow dance, and he trusts ten to teach him. or maybe, a story where two lonely boys find love accidentally, by slow dancing in the dark. Rating: General Status: Completed

17. sync up, fall harder by suheafoams

Summary: kun agrees to help ten plan out a date for his friend. more falls into place than what he initially anticipated. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

18. Hearing Your Voice (Is All I Need) by peachy_beomie

Summary: But there’s only one person who calls him Yongqin. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

19. it’s almost like you’re in love with me (or something) by Markmeinyourheart

Summary: four times kun and ten were complicated and the one time they really weren't. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

20. cat got your tongue? by starrytae

Summary: kunten miraculous ladybug au Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

21. when he sleeps by bahasakalbu

Summary: Ten can't sleep, and Kun is in a deep slumber beside him. Ten minds wonders around their previous memories, while looking at Kun's sleeping form. Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot

22. Home-cooked Meal by autumn_sparrow

Summary: Kun makes dinner while Ten takes a nap. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

23. See You Soon, Baby by nekowafers

Summary: Kun is an office worker who lived a pretty boring until he met Ten, an annoyingly good-looking vampire who won't stop sneaking through his apartment window. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

24. Not Like That by Meow12251

Summary: “You know, Kun, you’re not really my type,” Ten says. Kun opens his mouth, face scrunching, unsure what to say. He wonders if he should take offense. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

25. Welcome Home by DestinyHope

Summary: Ten and Kun were living in their house, dreaming about adopting some kids and finally have a family of their own. They didn't expect to end up taking care of boys around their age in need of love and care. Rating: Teen Status: On-Going

26. softly killing me by yeollama

Summary: Ten and Kun lived the ideal suburban dream, suffocating marriage and all. Of course, it wasn't without a few secrets. Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot

27. persona by latedreams

Summary: However, there were pieces that seemed to have been carved to fit together perfectly, edges effortlessly moulding to each other, creating a perfect harmony. Those were Ten's favourites. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

28. whispers of only the two of us by frinkles

Summary: Ten’s hair sits so well between Kun’s fingers. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

29. Floating Encounters by stupefiscience

Summary: Kun, an exhiled assassin from one of mainland china’s biggest crime groups tries to find his redemption by taking down Ten. An unknown jack of all trades menacing the powerful dogs of the city. Things take a spicy turn, though. Rating: Mature Status: On-Going

30. give all my secrets away by yeollama

Summary: Finding out Kun and Ten had some weird secret life which involved violence, cars and constant lying was not what Yangyang planned to overhear, but oh well. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

31. hold onto my mask by moonjongup (nicrt)

Summary: They fell in love over time. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

32. your ethereal existence by moonwalker116 (mikararinna)

Summary: “Because if humans can imagine what aliens look like, who’s to say that they haven’t seen a ghost in real life and spreading tales about them?” Rating: General Status: One-Shot

33. gold star of friendship by sunkissedhyuck

Summary: kun and ten didn't know what to expect at first when putting chenle into school for the first time, but it certainly wasn't anything close to this. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

34. Penis Colada by pinkfire

Summary: “So, what brings you here?” Ten prompted.“My dick,” Kun blurted, and Ten, who was mid-sip, laughed a spray of tea back into his mug. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

35. Second Chances by Vante_20

Summary: That night Kun left Ten hanging. Now he is second guessing himself. Things go down and he knows he won't be able to live with himself if give them a chance. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

36. In A Blink of An Eye by haneyangie

Summary: A secret melody that only he knows. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

37. Some Other Day by qianwtch (dxnutcare)

Summary: Ten somehow felt more homesick than usual. He had been laying in bed doing nothing but trying to sleep his frustration away. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

38. The Finish Line by Maiamia

Summary: Kun is a serious man. Always. It is a requirement for his job after all. But when he’s forced to rely on a shameless, way to handsome driver and his team of outlaws to complete the most important mission of his career, he might realize that keeping it professional is not as easy as it seemed. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

39. Are You A Magician? (Cause You Make My Breath Disappear) by peachy_beomie

Summary: “Why would I embarrass myself more than I already have?” “Cause your future husband Ten Lee thinks you’re cute, idiot!” Rating: General Status: One-Shot

40. in the frozen land, on the night where everything sleeps by 10vesyou

Summary: It marked their one of many, their last strive to save their brother. Tracing the flakes of snow hovering in the air, they set their heart on finding the hidden secret of the world: The Tree of Language. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

41. advil and antagonism by ouchsolo for zhosungs

Summary: Kun doesn't think his life could get anymore laughable, until the man he's sworn to hate forever is sitting drunk on his bed and he has no idea what to do with him. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

JohnKun

42. The Day You Walked Away by senja

Summary: 9 years later, and the same fate was repeated, only this time, only one walked away. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

43. My Universe by senja

Summary: Kun was trying his best to stay cool by drinking a cup of iced americano in a middle of a busy cafe and suddenly a (not really) unfamiliar man came up to him and asked a question he have never received before. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

44. Work From Home by jhengchie

Summary: Inspired by the Song Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

45. not coming back by Kiyuan

Summary: Kun doesn’t like talking about his school days. He’d rather not relive the days he spent hopping between worlds, thinking about nothing else than his partner, his friend and the adventures. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

46. Trust Me by seungwanxndxnly

Summary: Qian Kun and the Case of the Big Bomb Rating: Teen Status: On-Going

KunWin / WinKun

47. i could be your escape by bambirouge

Summary: Kun’s voice drops to a downright sinful level. “What if I got you hard, right here, right now, in the middle of all these people?” Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

KunCas / LuKun

48. Collar Me by softyjseo

Summary: Lucas and Kun were meant for each other, in all of the different ways they can imagine. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

Twitter Fics -

49.https://twitter.com/peachy_beomie/status/1384891177636405248?s=21

Summary: Ten rates his boyfriend’s reactions to his petnames.

50. https://twitter.com/dojaefairy/status/1377708043807436805

Summary: Ten decides to confess to Kun on April Fools Day so that he can pretend his confession was just a joke if Kun rejects him, and things get messy.

Updates

KunTen

1. Wrong (Right) Ad by Alette 2. Has To Be Mine by rowx3yourships 3. catch him if you can by blazingsirius 4. No Biting by taetens 5. Coming Home by YeolsTruly 6. electric magnetic by miramiro 7. Escaping The Moon by Chi_Can 8 .Countdown from Nine by MailOrderBride 9. Pierced! by HaloHalo 10. You Make Staying Away So Hard by Kill3rWhal3D1ck 11. On Thin Ice by taetens 12. all's well that ends well. by chenaki 13. diamonds by rainingover

JohnKun 14. Afterglow by owzy

#kun #qian kun #kunten #johnkun #kuncas #lukun #kunwin #winkun #tenkun #updates #new fics

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svtshine · 3 years

Note

can you please do a fluffy 17 + 19 with mingyu 🥺 ik it’s kinda weird so it’s totally fine if you don’t do it but tyty in advance

Hi anon! it’s not that weird but it was kinda tricky to write because i couldn’t find a plot at first :’) so it might not be what you wanted but hope you like it

3am nuggets

17: “Will you marry me?”

19: “I know it’s 3 am but could you get me some Mcdonald nuggets”

Pairing: Mingyu x reader

genre: fluff

type: imagine

extras: You can still request! Link can be found in my description or down below.

The story is written in Mingyu’s POV (sorta)

Mingyu has been wanting to do it since the start of the year. He has everything planned, we’ll sort of.

He just didn’t know when was the right time. At a restaurant? But if it’s too noisy? At the park? What if you didn’t like all the attention? All the troubling thoughts has been making him anxious and stressed at the same time.

Of course, he never acted differently around you. He would still return home and greet you with a kiss as usual, cuddle with you, buy you gifts to make you smile, bring you on dates. But every night, after you’ve fallen asleep, he would pull out the ring box from the night stand beside him and stare at it before turning to look at you.

You were worth the wait, even when you were snoring with your mouth slightly open and drool dripping down your chin. Mingyu loved you to the moon and back, and he just wanted this to be perfect. Because you deserved that.

Mingyu would turn around after setting the ring box in the same place and stare at you. He would smile to himself at your adorable self, wiping away your drool and bringing you closer to him. Mingyu would kiss your forehead before whispering.

“Just wait a while longer babygirl, i love you”

Mingyu has been confiding about his conflicts with the rest of the members and hyungs. The different suggestions and countless of ideas has made him stuck.

“Hyung, just wait till you feel the moment” Dino suggested.

“Yeah Mingyu, we’ve already gave you so many suggestions i don’t know if we can suggest more ideas.” Jeonghan slapped Mingyu’s back.

Mingyu nodded, it didn’t seem like a very bad idea overall and there wasn’t any other ideas he could think of.

The members patted his back and resumed practice.

A week later, Seventeen had gotten a three day break after a heavy performance. Mingyu was estatic that he was going to be able to spend more time with you.

“Honey, i’m back home” He called out to you when he reached home after the performance. It was around 7, the performance recording had ended early since they were doing it for the whole day.

“Sweetie?” You left the kitchen and greeted him with a hug and a kiss. “You’re back so early today, i’m still making dinner” Mingyu smiled at you, happy that he was able to surprise you. He brought out the flowers he hid behind his back and presented them to you.

Your eyes widened and you took it gently from him. You were so happy that your boyfriend was able to get off work early and even brought you flowers.

“Thank you gyu” You said softly.

“Now” Mingyu rolled up his sleeves and put down his bag. “let me help you with dinner” taking your hand and bringing you to the kitchen.

Mingyu accidentally threw flour on you and a food fight began between the two of you. You poured the beaten eggs on him and ran away but he grabbed you from behind and tickling you. Mingyu carried you by your things and lifted you onto his hips, he kissed you fully on the lips. He placed you on the kitchen counter and the two of you made out.

Mingyu gently held your cheek and looked into your eyes, “I love you”

You kissed him again and said “I love you too Kim Mingyu”

The two of you finally noticed the mess you guys made, looked at each other and burst out laughing. The both of you cleaned up and ordered take out before going to take a quick bath.

Mingyu helped to wash your hair and body. He also helped to blow dry your hair and comb it thoroughly. That was when the doorbell rang signalling that the takeout was here. Mingyu was still drying his hair but went to collect the takeout.

Afterwards the both of you had your takeout with wine and binge watched your current favourite series. After clearing the trash, Mingyu suggested building a pillow fort.

“It’ll be fun babe, we’ll prepare snacks, movies and some fairy lights” He convinced you.

After about three movies, it was nearly 5 mins past 3 am. You were feeling hungry since the snacks were gone pretty quickly.

“Mingyu ah, i know it’s 3 am but could we get some Mcdonald nuggets” you said, climbing onto his lap. Mingyu watched you plead, wearing nothing but his hoodie that was large on you. He wrapped his arms tightly around you. “Anything for you sweetheart” Your smile couldn’t be more bright

That was when Mingyu felt it. He knew more than anything, that he would be the happiest only when he had you with him, by his side. For you, he would do anything and that was because he loved you. Mingyu was scared of growing old, but if he could get Mcdonald nuggets with you 30 years down the road at 3 am in the morning with you, the thought of growing old didn’t scare him at all.

As long as he had you, he would be able to do anything, conquer anything and love with his whole heart. Mingyu doesn’t want to get mcdonald nuggets at 3 am in the morning with anyone else except you.

He would follow you to the ends of the world anytime.

Wasn’t that what marriage was about? A holy ceremony to bound two people who love each other, till death do them part.

Mingyu’s heart was racing as he asked you to go get some sweatpants and he stuffed the ring box quickly into his hoodie pocket, hoping you wouldn’t notice.

He was wearing his shoes when you came out, sure you just worn your grey sweatpants and your hair was in a messy bun. You still looked like the most beautiful person he has ever met.

You took his breath away.

He drove you to the nearest Mcdonalds and ordered while you waited for him in the car.

Mingyu went up to the counter, “hello, i’d like to order a set meal with extra nuggets. And do you guys happen to have extra balloons i could use, i’m going to propose just outside” he pointed to the car.

The worker clapped excitedly and the remaining staff searched for decorations he could use.

Mingyu realised you were using your phone so he quickly decorated the back of his trunk.

“Gyu what are you doing?” Mingyu was rushing and putting everything in place. The fairy lights, the nuggets and the Mcdonald balloons.

“er er” Mingyu said as he checked everything. “Come out baby”

You were curious but as you got around the car, you immediately covered your mouth. Mingyu was on one knee and the nuggets were aligned to spell out, ‘Will you marry me?’

Your eyes glistened with tears. Mingyu opened the ring box and it sparkled under the moonlight. It was a classy yet beautiful. You couldn’t believe your eyes as you walked closer to him.

“Y/n L/n. We met two years ago, and i have never felt more complete than i do right now. With you, i feel that anything is possible, with you i never feel alone. I feel like i found my missing half” Mingyu said softly his eyes watered.

“I want to grow old with you, spend everyday of my life with you. Have our own children, spoil them. Buy more nuggets at 3 am” The tears ran down your face. “i want to do everything with you by my side. I promise i would always stay by you, take care of you and love you. Y/n, Will you marry me?” Mingyu finally said.

You shook your head immediately and rushed to him.

“I do, i do, i do, i do, i love you so much Kim Mingyu” Mingyu hugged and twirled you around before setting you down and kissing you.

“I’m sorry it wasn’t the best proposal, i’ve been thinking of the best proposal for months and i just couldn’t choose. Dino told me to wait for the perfect moment. And this was” he smiled cutely at you holding your hands closely to his chest, stared into your eyes.

“I don’t care as long as you’re with me Gyu” You giggled and told him.

Mingyu winked at you

“What do you say we go home and eat the nuggets my fiance?”

Masterlist

Prompt request link

#seventeen #svt #boyfriend #husband #fiance #marriage #svt proposal #Svt x reader #Kim Mingyu #Mingyu #fluff #scenario #Mingyu x reader #Mingyu x reader fluff #Fiance!Mingyu

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op-peccatori · 5 years

Text

shake my heart and let love fall out| MLQC Victor | Kinktober: October 23rd

Prompts: Lingerie || Hate-fucking/Angry sex || Forced orgasm

Here’s entry number 6 for @alloveroliver’s Kinktober 2019!! Hope you like it.

Fandom: Mr. Love: Queen’s Choice

Pairing: Reader/Victor

Rating: 18+ (nsfw)

Word count: 7500

Warnings: explicit sex and language, angst porn??, angry sex, overstimulation, hickeys, mild spanking, kinda forced orgasm, possessive Victor, marriage, idiotic decisions made for the sake of angst, the sense of flight is stronger than the fight, I have proven yet again that I'm incapable of writing angst

When I write, I like to play a little game: how many synonyms can I use? ha...hahaha...smut is in the second half! There’s a mood board too, my first one ever!

Will I ever stop getting carried away when it comes to writing for Victor? ...probably not

High heels clack down the long hall, the sound echoing off the marble floor.

The sight of a familiar broad back has your throat tightening, steel grey eyes that seemingly look beyond you making your heart race as you reach the top of the sprawling staircase. Victor’s face is beauty carved from the smoothest stone, and his gaze is cooler than December rains.

Your fingers twitch with the urge to cup his face, to coax out some form of emotion.

You know you look good, but that never seemed to stop him from complimenting you in the past. Your dress is soft, cream satin on your body, your hair curled to perfection. Your neck is bound by thin lines of glimmering gemstones, a gift you found waiting for you when you stepped out of the shower. To have him barely glance your way now – it hurts you more than you’d like to admit. But you can admit that you had it coming.

“I see you’ve decided to end your vacation,” he’d asked you, hours after your return, his tone frigid enough to freeze your breath in your lungs. The deep bags under his eyes struck you harder than his words. “Did you finally remember you’re married?”

You never forgot. You have been a coward, tormented by thoughts of confrontation and rejection. You ran away. It was a mistake, you know that now. A split-second decision you can't take back, resulting in a whole year away from the man you still love but don't know how to be with.

The wedding band on your finger still burns with the weight of your decision.

Your hand in the crook of his arm feels natural, the heat of his body comforting; you have to refrain from leaning into him As you descend the steps together, you can’t help but glance at the people waiting at the bottom. At the woman who had called you exactly two weeks ago, crying and pleading with you to come back. Aunt Grace smiles back at you, the look of worry in her eyes fading. You don’t know why she thinks you can fix anything, to be honest. All you do is run. You hadn’t expected anything less than the frosty welcome you got from your husband and it has only gotten worse since then.

“You both look lovely,” she says with a wobbly smile in place, as Victor’s father smiles like he thinks everything will be okay now. You can feel the guilt threatening to burst forth, with the knowledge of what you’re hiding. For now. “Have fun at the party!”

You met Victor in your last year of college, at a farmer's market of all places. It took one impromptu lesson in how to select fresh produce, one cooking class, and a heart-melting kiss under the stars for you to fall in love. You both got married right after you graduated – it was the perfect fairy tale romance. You had been utterly consumed by how much you loved him, to the point where you just...lost yourself, somewhere along the way. You wanted to be with the love of your life. You didn’t know who you were without him.

And then, a year into marriage – the fights started. It was normal, everyone said. Fighting makes you stronger. It didn’t seem that way, it only seemed to weaken you. You two were barely talking. Eventually, you only saw him about twice or thrice a week. He came home later and later, and you stopped waiting up for him. There were no apologies, just expensive gifts. His company was doing so well, deal after deal cementing him as the entrepreneur everyone wanted to do business with. Rumours of his supposed affairs were making rounds in the gossip rags and even though you didn’t really believe them, it fueled the ugly parts of you. The resentment, the jealousy, the insecurity. You were suffocating, under your unwillingness to step out of your little bubble.

But you still didn’t have the courage to confront him.

You don’t even want to think about what your sex life had devolved into.

And then you reconnected with your childhood friend Gavin. He knew you beyond what most people now knew you as- the wife of a successful man. It was refreshing, and it gave you the courage to be more adventurous. You knew he used to have a major crush on you, but it was just something to laugh about after all those years. But Victor had never liked him in the past, and he didn’t like him when he flew back into your life, the perfect distraction from your dull life. You started spending more time with him, handsome and kind Gavin, always there to lend you a shoulder, always there to accompany you wherever you wanted to go.

You think that was when you saw Victor at his ugliest, when you were out with Gavin at your favourite restaurant and he came home early for once, to watch Gavin walk you to the front door. Except, then he tried to kiss you. You rebuffed him as politely as you could, he apologized for overstepping and both of you were mortified. And then there was only dread when you walked in to see Victor. Accusations were hurled, each comment more biting than the previous, and things that could never be taken back were thrown out in the open.

Did you fuck him?

You hurt each other.

We were a mistake.

You made it very clear things were platonic between you and Gavin, but the naked pain on his face still haunts you. The wounds were raw and bleeding after that, and neither of you knew how to patch them up. You couldn't stand the sight of each other for a while. He shut you out, so you left. You took a break. You went to your father’s hometown, where he had established his production company. His protégé, Anna, welcomed you with open arms and encouraging words. You needed a break, you needed to rebuild. And Victor needed time to get things in order, but you secretly hoped he would figure out how to give enough time to your relationship.

There was no more word from Victor though, he just sent over the luggage you had packed but left behind, with a message from Goldman to let him know if you needed anything 'while you were away', and when you planned to go back. You left the more expensive gowns and jewellery he had bought you in your closet and thankfully, he respected it and the distance you chose to put between them.

Taking over your father’s company had been terrifying when you had only worked with them briefly in the past, but it felt right. It’s one of the best decisions you’ve ever made for yourself, and you could finally begin discovering you were without the man who completed you.

You still cried yourself to sleep more often than not, but that was something you kept to yourself. This was something you needed to do.

It was the first time you made a big decision without Victor’s steadiness to take comfort in. Releasing that you are capable of making decisions without him was thrilling, yet devastating. Because he wasn’t an option at the time. It was only a matter of time until you received the divorce papers or a demand from him to return.

Sometimes, you thought of just going back. You knew you could. But something stopped you. Just a little more time, you told yourself. Your company was growing by leaps and bounds. And before you knew it, a year had passed. You were so different from the woman Victor married, yet your feelings for him still ran deep. You kept a close eye on any news you could find on him – the media had a blast speculating about the lives of the young couple. You had managed to survive without him, despite the loneliness. You didn't want to be alone, you wanted him. But you just didn't know how to fit the new pieces of you with his and you didn't know if he even wanted you to.

But he never asked you to return or leave him, and here you are, walking arm-in-arm into the party to announce your return. People whisper excitedly, but most seem to have believed you had just been busy being a successful producer and running your company. Not entirely untrue, but you aren’t going to comment either way, and it seems like Victor agrees.

Not until you talk to him about your future, with or without him.

You accept two flutes of champagne with a dazzling smile, passing one over to Victor with familiar ease. Clinking the glasses together, your eyes meet over the glasses and flick away, your masks in place, ready to meet the world. You hesitate before you leave his side, brushing a hand across his forearm willfully, squeezing once before you’re off to socialize. You know he watches you go, held in place by the sway of your hips.

You greet old friends and new, longtime enemies and people who aren't too excited to have you back. You deflect catty remarks, accept envious compliments aimed at the new jewellery your husband has so lovingly gifted you, field questions about your work. Your smile is flawless regardless of who you speak with, your gaze never too far from Victor as you watch people fall all over themselves trying to impress him.

It’s hard to hold a smirk back at the sight – some things will never change.

Goldman pulls you aside to stare at you for a few seconds before telling you that you're despicable, a coward for doing what you did. “But, I’m so glad you’re home. It was getting...difficult.”

That’s the problem, something that really bothers you. Aunt Grace, Victor’s father, Goldman – everything they’ve said implies that Victor’s been in unending agony in your absence. You shouldn’t have given up, you knew that. But after the big fight, you had tried. Not often, but you tried to talk to him. Victor, he barely came home and you just...couldn’t do it anymore.

Victor seems to have forgotten you were ever in love. It doesn’t help.

Kiro greets you with a brilliant smile and then Victor’s eyes feel like hot coals on the back of your head. You should feel a little more shame at the vindictive satisfaction that curls in your heart.

“I heard your new album,” you tell Kiro excitedly. “You’ve outdone yourself yet again. You must make an appearance on our show!”

“Aw, thanks, ___! I’ve been keeping up with your adventures as a producer too.” Kiro’s smile is warm and knowing – you feel strangely touched. “I’m glad. You seem so different. In the very best way, of course.” He squeezes your hand in support and your eyes meet stormy greys narrowed in a glare.

Whatever. If he has a problem with people talking to you, he can try doing it himself.

Chik is the next to step up to you, with her pin straight hair and dramatic falsies, expression peeved as she curls her arm around yours, leading you to the long table with a mountain of appetizers. You eye each other warily, nibbling on what seems to be a fancy mozzarella stick. "It's nice to see you, Chik."

She glances around to ensure your privacy before she snorts. "Took you long enough. I'm all for extended vacations, but this was too long ___. " You glare in silence, and she meets your narrowed gaze with her own. "You're starting with the fried stuff. Must be pretty bad."

Your expression is enough to make her wince.

"Ah, well. He's still sickeningly in love with you, so I'm sure it won't be too bad. Just, I don't know, fuck his brains out till he forgets you were gone for a year."

"Chik!" you hiss, but you can't hold back a grin at the scandalized looks you both get from the old couple hovering nearby.

But her words throw you for a loop; your plans jumble up by the second and you feel less certain of yourself. You don’t see him watching you from across the room until you're desperate for a distraction, and then it cuts into your path smoothly, with the lethal grace of a panther.

Victor is excellent at feigning disinterest in what you're doing. But it’s when you’re talking to Professor Lucien that he finally seems to have had enough, cutting in stiffly. The Professor’s sultry gaze has produced far better results than you could’ve predicted. Fingers clench at your waist reflexively before stroking your side, a sign of his agitation. He could never resist the feel of satin on your skin, something you’ve taken advantage of far too many times to count.

“We should be getting home, it’s been a while since I had my lovely wife all to myself,” he says with a tight-lipped smile, his eyes brewing with the beginnings of a hurricane. Lucien inclines his head, drawing out a promise from you to catch up soon. At that, Victor’s fingers dig into your flesh, Lucien smirks wittingly and your heart flutters with expectation.

You leave the ballroom in silence, not looking at each other, almost strangers – almost, but for the strange, buzzing tension between you both. The long hallway is nearly deserted, but you spot lovers whispering to each other in a corner, giggling and touching and blushing. You’re distracted by the sight, the sting it brings, the memories it digs up, and so you’re caught off guard when Victor pulls you into a shadowed corner of your own.

It's like stepping into a muted space, one that is cut off from the rest of the world. You’re stuck between the wall and him as he presses closer, breathing in the fresh scent you like to wear, his expression mostly hidden in the dark. It is here that he loosens the reigns, just a little; his hands glide up your sides, just barely brushing the sides of your breasts and it’s enough to tug at your own tightly wound strings. His mouth skims along your jaw, your mouth, tempted and tempting, not quite a kiss – and he’s straining, you feel it when you touch his shoulders, his chest, the iron of his control tight in his muscle.

“___,” he breathes, your name a prayer and a curse in the way it falls from his mouth. His hand splays against the curve of your hip, his tongue traces the shell of your ear, and your breath catches on a moan. And then he rips himself away from you, leaving you bereft and gasping, struggling to process his actions and the depth of your craving.

The ride home is silent. You feel a bit drunk on his achingly familiar scent, the perfume you’ve always loved; your eyes are unable to keep from peeking at the sharp angles of his face. His suit jacket is draped over the top of his seat, the cuffs of his sleeves rolled up to his thick forearms, his shirt straining across his broad chest. His knuckles are white from how tight his grip on the steering wheel is.

You get home, and you think it’s finally time to talk.

He opens the door for you, but in your haste to step out and talk to him, your heel gets wedged between the cobblestone lining the pathway. It breaks in half, the snap of it damning and you flail as you go down, your embarrassing dive on the walkway stopped by steady arms winding around your waist.

It's a terribly romantic moment, one where you're close enough to count his lashes, close enough to see the sudden spill of warm yearning in his eyes. He squeezes you closer for a second as if he can’t help it, before he, quite literally, sweeps you off your feet and walks to the entrance. Your face flushes deeper when you catch sight of the grin on his staff's faces. The walk through the door, with you in his arms – you can't help but remember the day of your wedding, when you made a similar entrance. This time, he pauses in the living room, gently placing you down on the couch and your heart swells with hope.

“Victor–“ He walks away before you can continue, without even a hint of acknowledgement, and you freeze at the sight of his back to you. It’s not the first time, but you’re left staring into nothing as you remember all the times he’d walked away when you tried to talk to him. It still stings and you’re unable to say a word.

You miss his glance back at you, the furrow of his brow. You slip off your heels and slink off to your room, something heavy settling in your stomach.

‘There’s no point.’

The divorce papers, empty of any signatures, sit in your bedside drawer.

Victor could never put aside his pride and talk to you. He’s left vulnerability behind in the past. You squeeze your eyes shut as more flashes of your wedding day pass through your mind, of soft eyes and softer smiles. Of twirling on the dance floor, high on your joy at marrying the man of your dreams.

It’s alright. You’ll have to resort to more drastic measures, but perhaps that’s what is needed. You don't know what he wants, all you can give him are options.

You look at your reflection, at your teary eyes and defeated expression. You wonder how, after all this time, you’re back here in the very same position. Focus. You need to get dressed for bed before you can give in to the urge to barge into Victor's bedroom and throttle him. The necklace is the first thing to come off, followed by the pins keeping your hair in place, and a wince when your scalp aches. You almost don't want to take the dress off, but it's too pretty to be ruined by sleep.

Your zipper is stuck, and it feels like the thread you were so determined to hang onto finally snaps. A surge of helplessness takes over, you're left with few options. Your despair mounts, and your fingers itch to break something. It’s not a good thing. You’ve already proven yourself capable of breaking your own heart.

You hurl the broken stiletto at the wall instead, letting it bear the brunt of your displeasure.

“I see you’re still unable to manage your emotions like an adult.” You whirl around and see Victor standing in the doorway, a glass of whiskey in hand paired perfectly with an eye roll. You observe him as he steps in and closes the door behind him; he's exchanged the sleek suit for an old grey sweatshirt and dark pants, both hugging his body in ways that seem unfair. Your old room, usually unreasonably spacious, feels small with him in it.

Your mouth dries up, and you feel the regret sharply in your throat, cutting you. “And you’d know all about that, of course.” He remains silent, and you’re so sick of his silence. “Oh wait, that would imply you actually have any.”

He simply rolls his eyes again. It’s still annoying and draws out indecent reactions from your body. You want to sink your teeth into his thighs and see if he still rolls his eyes like that. “I didn’t come here to trade insults, ___.”

Ignoring the jolt in your belly in response to him saying your name, you keep tugging at your zipper to no avail, staring at his reflection in the ornate mirror warily. The things you had left behind are still here, dusted and in place; the whisper of your name in a dark corner is still fresh – you don’t know what to feel.

“Then what do you want?” He sighs and walks over to you, placing the glass down on your vanity and slipping his other hand out of his pocket to help you. It cooperates with him right away, the traitorous thing, and you’re left melting at the feeling of his warm breath in your hair, the stroke of his knuckle on your skin.

“I...think we need to clear a few things up.”

“Thank you.” But his hands haven’t fallen away, and you can see his eyes glued to the bare expanse of your back, his finger tracing the edge of your bra. You’re wearing one of his favourite sets, you realise belatedly. The one you’d bought for one of his birthdays, with pebbled peaks clearly visible through the sheer material. The delicate one he’d refused to let you take off until he’d fucked you twice already, that he’d then unclasped and peeled off with such care you had giggled until he stuffed his fingers in your mouth.

‘I have to tell him. I have to tell him. I have to tell him.’

Your heart pounds in your ears as he slips the straps of your dress off your shoulders, one at a time, fingers stroking down your arms leaving goosebumps in their wake, letting the dress pool at your feet. His eyes lift to join yours in the mirror, his pupils dilating until his eyes are nearly black with desire at the sight of you, exposed and trembling with your own want. His fingers dance along the waistband of the material adorning your hips, that hides nothing. The calloused digits trace a teasing path along your spine, tangling with the hair at the nape of your neck.

You can’t quite breathe, torn between saying something and arching into his touch. True to form, you’re quick to step away, slipping over to the window to put some distance between the two of you. To escape whatever seems to be building between you two, the desire in his eyes that mirrors your own.

“Yes, I have some things I need to tell you.” You need to get this out before you end up doing something you...probably won’t regret.

Clearly, Victor has other ideas. He strikes fast, your wrist trapped within the confines of his hand before you can stop him. You try to back up and he lets you, but follows along, prowling after you with dark desire clear in his stare.

Outside, the sky is darkening with impending rain, and all you hear is the beating of your heart, all you sense is the longing for his warmth, his touch a balm on your starved skin.

“No more running away,” he says quietly. You’re still trying to free your wrist from his grip when his eyes fall to your wedding ring. “Did you ever take that off?”

You still, knowing the various questions hidden within those few words. And they all had one answer. “No. Of course not. But I...”

He doesn’t reply, just steps closer, pushing your wrists up until they’re pinned above your head, your back flush against the cold glass of the windows. His fingers come up to trace the soft curve of your mouth, smearing the lipstick with an electrifying intensity in his eyes. “Victor...”

“You made me wait for so long.” You try to reply but he doesn’t let you, slipping his index finger into your rapidly drying mouth. “You left, ___.” You left me is left unspoken, but you hear it clearly enough. His leg slides between your thighs, firm against your mound.

You whimper and his slips his middle finger through your lips. “I never knew you could be so resolute. I have to admit, I’m almost impressed.” He towers over you and you’re struck silent by how furious he looks now, the devastating rage in his eyes robbing you of words. Your tongue licks soothingly along his fingers reflexively, and you hear him suck in a breath. Then you’re gagging on his fingers with wet eyes, his lips warm against your temple. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I have you now. You’re not going anywhere again, not anytime soon.”

The words sound ominous, his expression slipping into something unhinged but you’re too distracted by the fingers pulling out of your mouth to slip down your body, shoving your panties aside to tease your wet slit. Your breath stutters and his lips brush yours, featherlight.

You breathe each other in, eyes fixed on the others. You lick your drying lips and then his other hand is around the back of your head, tugging at your hair as he releases your wrists. The sound he makes when you mewl at the sensation is guttural, painfully raw. Like a man possessed, he yanks your head back and then his mouth is on yours, kissing you like he’s desperate to love you and hurt you with this one action.

You feel like you’ve been struck by lightning, and your heart feels unbearably full. His lips are hard and bruising, tongue intertwining insistently with yours, moving with a ferocious hunger that threatens to steal the very breath from your lungs. You respond with the strength of a thousand fevered thoughts behind you, every bit of longing you’ve tried to suppress in your heart, every filthy dream you’ve had to try and forget.

He nips at your mouth, hands moving down your body with intent, tugging your panties down your thighs. “You won’t be needing these.” You step out of them without protest, quivering at the way Victor caresses your sides, your abdomen clenching when his hand slips between your legs again. “Stay quiet, I don’t want to hear a sound from you.”

His fingers push their way into your sex, and you yelp into his mouth. The sudden stretch is painful but there is pleasure etched in the pain, his fingers knowing how to curl and where to rub, to make you writhe. Your hips grind into his hand, but he pulls it away, leaving you moaning and chasing after his touch as he sticks the glistening fingers in his mouth.

“Tch. You just can’t listen, can you?” But you know he’s pleased with your inability to stay quiet when he touches you. Victor’s always easier to read when he gets riled up. Stripping you of all sense and control never failed to do so, and you’re satisfied to see it still holds. “And you’re so wet already.”

It feels like there has been no time away at all, in this moment. You don’t think you’ve ever wanted him this badly before, your need for him raging through your veins and threatening to drown you. Victor can’t seem to step away, his tongue tracing along the edge of the cloth hugging your breasts, his teeth tugging at your skin. He takes special pleasure in giving you a new necklace, this one made of bruises, crafted by his teeth.

His hands squeeze your plump rear, kneading the flesh as he works your mouth open again, tongue slipping in and out of your pliant mouth, intent on devouring you like a starved beast. His lips trace a wet path down your jaw to your neck, and you moan, hands slipping into his hair, down his back; his throat vibrates with a rumble when you leave scratches on pale skin. Your eyes slide in and out of focus and, like gravity bringing you back down, fall on your bedside drawer. You freeze at the reminder of what sits there and Victor does the same. His chest heaves as he pulls away, staring at you questioningly.

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” You can almost choke on the guilt you feel. Should you just forget about the papers and burn them later?

“And why not?” God, his voice. It was rough with need and so fucking deep, you could probably come just listening to it. But you can’t. Because you’re here for one reason only-to do what’s best for Victor. Well, what you thought was best for Victor. In the long run. It’s probably not great for his blood pressure.

“We need to talk.”

“We can talk later.” You want to cry at the way he half-bites his lip, caressing your hips meaningfully.

“No. Look, I...this is such a bad time to do this but you need to know something.” Victor raises a brow, nearly unable to keep his eyes from falling to your body. There’s not much that can keep him from fucking you right now. “I didn’t come back to be a burden. And to avoid doing that I...” You’re done holding him back. You’re doing the right thing. Right?

“What did you do?” he asks quietly, eyes suddenly even more intent on you. You take a deep breath. “I thought you came back because you were ready.”

‘Just rip the bandaid off.’

“I wanted to resolve things and I wanted to, I don’t know. To free you.”

Oh God, why did I say it like that?

There’s complete silence in the room now that you’re not panting like you’re in heat. The sky is rolling with thunder, flashing violently. It’s akin to the look in Victor’s eyes before he speaks, hands falling away from you.

“To free me?” he repeats, his fists clenching at his side. You bite back a whimper at the ice in his voice, but keep going. You’re half-certain you’ve got this completely wrong now because Victor did not touch you like a man who wants to be freed.

“Okay, that didn’t come out right. But, yes. It’s not fair to you. None of this is. I couldn't just, waltz back in. And you never said anything. I didn’t know what you wanted. So I, I got divorce papers drawn up before I came back. In case that’s what you wanted. I just...want you to be happy–“ Victor doesn't even let you finish, a vein threatening to burst on his forehead before he turns around and storms away, his fury coiled around him like a venomous snake. You slump against the glass, dread pooling in your stomach at this new blunder.

You should’ve just kept your mouth shut.

The room spins violently, and then your front is pressed up against the cool window – for a moment, you’re not sure what happened. The entire length of Victor’s body presses firmly against the back of yours, a sense of danger so very alluring settling in the air. You flinch when his palm strikes against the window, fear and anticipation coursing through you in equal measure. The aggression is rolling off of him in waves and then he’s crushing you to him.

“To free me?” he laughs, low and disbelieving at your ear. He struggles to speak through the outrage, you can feel it. He kisses your neck so softly, a tendril of fear curls around your spine; you feel like prey caught under the enraged lion’s paw. “You want me to be happy?” His words are a snarl and you do whimper now. “You think you know what’s best for everyone, don’t you? You think we shouldn’t be around each other, so you leave. You decide that wasn’t enough punishment so you come back, to tell me you want a fucking divorce?” His hand comes down on your ass hard, making you cry out before he presses you more firmly against the window, his throbbing cock pressing against the curve of your rear insistently. Your breath fogs up the glass. “Well, fuck that.”

Your heart seizes in your chest. “I didn’t-that’s not what I-I don't want-“

His hand is heavy on your back, pressing down and you’re unable to get any more words out when you realize what he intends to do.

“We do have important things to clear up. I see you’ve gotten more idiotic in your time away. Did you really delude yourself into believing I would want that? Or did you just want a reaction?” His voice edges on dark amusement now, as if you’ve done something extremely stupid. “You’ve got it. Is that what you wanted to hear? To see proof of your place in my heart? Silly girl.” He strokes your slick sex avidly. “It doesn’t matter where you go, this cunt will always be mine. You will always be mine.”

Relief mixes with shame at his words. You’d told yourself over and over that he would want nothing to do with you. But in the deepest parts of your mind, you could admit that this was also a provocation. Something that would make him react for sure, that would shatter the ice. That would make him so angry he would act with only honesty.

Well, here you are. Burning inside out, getting what you wanted. His honesty and his wrath.

You hear him unzip the fly of his pants, your entire being aching with the need to see him. But he doesn’t want you to. This is not two lovers reuniting, this is him punishing you for your idiocy, your cruelty. This is his response to your actions and your words. As if on cue, he finally speaks.

“You’re not to come until I tell you to. You’re going to be a good girl and let me use your pussy for as long as I want. And I’m going to fuck you until I think you’ve learned your lesson.” They’re simple statements. A command you’re expected to follow. You feel the tip of his cock hitting your ass and your walls quiver at the knowledge that he’s pumping himself in preparation. “Is that clear?”

“Y-yes sir,” you rasp. He lines himself up with your entrance, and you brace yourself. But nothing could prepare you for the way his thick cock pushes past your folds, hot and hard, in one swift movement. He doesn’t stop to ease you into it. It hurts, it burns, your brain short circuits. Your hand smacks the window in a bid for something to hold on to as a scream tears out your throat.

“Fuck,” he hisses, and as your eyes roll back at the feel of him hot and hard in you – you can relate. God, you’ve been dreaming of this for so long. Of being so full of him that you can feel him everywhere. He pulls out halfway and slams his hips into you so hard a vague part of you is surprised you didn’t go flying out the window even as tears pool in the corner of your eyes. Each thrust is punishing, aiming to drive a lesson home. “Fuck, I lo-I missed this. I’m never letting you go again.” He’s relentless as he fucks you against the window, his pace charged by the depraved cries crawling out your throat and the anger burning him inside out. Your hips will soon be mottled by bruises with how hard he’s gripping them. But the feeling of having his cock in you, pounding your pussy, filling it up after so long is too much to bear. “Mine. My wife. My cunt. This is mine.”

“Yes, yes, yes.” Your cheeks are wet, and you feel him growl when your walls clamp down around him tight. He stops his thrusts right away and you cry out in earnest.

“Victor, no no no, please. Please, please please.” His palm comes down hard on your asscheek. He spanks you again and you whine, trembling with arousal and desperation.

“Shut up.” His tone is unforgiving but it’s said with a groan, his hand roaming the skin available to him fervently. He cups your breasts, his touch greedy, and pulls you up against him. His dick slips out of you and you whine out loud again at the loss but you’re immediately cut off by his teeth sinking into the side of your neck again. Victor studies the blossoming bruise with carnal satisfaction. “I said, shut up. This is what you wanted, isn’t it? So take it. Take it all - but only when I want you to.”

He turns you around again and, unbalanced, you fall into his arms, a hand on your jaw forcing you to meet his fervid gaze. Your makeup is a complete mess, your hair is in disarray, and you pant wantonly against his collarbone. You’re completely exposed save for your sheer bra, and Victor still has all his clothes on; there’s something deeply sensual about the kind of vulnerability you feel as your bare skin meets soft cloth. He looks like he wants to kiss you and strangle you simultaneously, his chest heaving and flushed pink.

He sweeps your loose curls away from your face. “Did you let anyone touch you in my absence?”

“No!”

“No? Not even once?” His hands are still squeezing every inch of flesh they can reach on your body. His touch is frenzied and ardent, amped up by your tongue flicking his nipple, grazing it with your teeth. “I find that hard to believe. Look at you, you’re such a little slut.” Only for you, you want to say. You know what he wants to hear.

“Not even once.” Your voice is hoarse and your throat feels raw. “I’m still–still yours. Your wife. Your slut.”

Victor tugs at your hair again, but you can tell he’s pleased. “Mine? You chose to refute that claim when you ran away.” His hands are on the back of your thighs, lifting you, still pressed against the window. Your legs wrap around his waist, your mouths close. “And now you want to do it again.”

“No. I’m sorry. I’ve always been yours.” Your words are a sincere whisper on his lips. “Always will be.”

He nuzzles the soft spot behind your ear. “Did you think about me?” he whispers, darkly.

“Every day. Every night.”

“Did you touch yourself?” Your fingers can’t compare to the lazy glide of his length along your slit.

“Yes. But it wasn’t enough,” you breathe. You have your reasons for leaving, for staying away and he will hear them. For now, his cock is entering you again and you’re helpless in his hands, unable to do anything but let him fuck you senseless. His pelvis grinds against you and you try to throw your thoughts elsewhere, anywhere, to keep from coming. “I’m – yours.” Your head falls back, your eyes glued to his face. His hair is wild and sweaty, his muscles flexed as he holds you up against the window.

“Don’t come.” His voice is rough and he knows you won’t be able to follow his demands. You can hear the anticipation hidden in his voice. You try, though. You sink your claws into the figurative cliff edge, holding on for life. He’s merciless, driving into you with the sole purpose of seeing you break. He wants to see you in pieces. “Don’t you dare fucking come.”

And break you do – by the quick drag of his skin on your swollen nub. You’re driven over the edge, the wave of mind-shattering pleasure sweeping over you and you barely hear yourself wail over the growl of thunder. Your walls grip him possessively, massaging his cock and pulling him in with you, robbing him of all control. He chokes out your name as his cum fills you in hot, throbbing spurts –you’re still convinced nothing feels better, your silky walls milking him avariciously. He groans into your hair, his shallow thrusts into your sensitive flesh making you sob.

“I told you not to come,” he murmurs.

You can’t bring yourself to regret it when he pushes you facedown onto the plush rug, half climbing over you, kissing you until you can feel him swell against your ass once more. Arching your back and, looking at him with a hooded gaze over your shoulder, you part your knees invitingly, obedient in a way you know drives him crazy.

You’re left incapable of even standing by the time he deposits you on the bed, primal satisfaction curling along his mouth. Your neck is littered with teeth and finger marks, matching your hips and thighs that still quake and have trails of drying semen courtesy of how many times he came inside you, like an animal reinforcing his claim on his territory. You enjoyed every minute of it, even the bit where he coerced orgasm after orgasm from you, determined to make you forget your own name, to make sure you associate pleasure with only his name. You’re sore from your throat to your toes, not entirely sure you’ll get out of bed tomorrow.

Victor helps you pull on a pair of panties, refusing to allow any ideas of cleaning up. “You’re going to keep all of it inside. It should help keep any more absurd thoughts at bay.” You just know he’s going to want to shower together.

Your husband looks spent, his clothes having come off some time into the second round, his bangs slicked back, eyes more sleepy and satiated than angry.

You want nothing more than to fall into blissful sleep, a feeling that’s encouraged by the way Victor pulls you into his arms, caging you against his trembling body. You pull the blanket over your bodies, both of you pausing to watch the rain for a moment. You swallow a few times to soften your throat, trying to think of something to say but he beats you to it.

“Where are the papers?” His question is asked quietly but it feels like ice shoved down your shirt. You pull out of his arms slowly, tears held back and knees shaking all over again, and you reach into your drawer to pull them out. He takes them from you, studying them silently as you try to regain the ability to breathe, and then looks up at you.

He tears them in half.

“I meant what I said.” He pauses and you wait with bated breath. The anger finally falls away, leaving pain in its wake. He presses his forehead to yours, eyes shut against the vulnerability. “I can’t let you go again.” You burst into tears and he rolls you both over to hover over you. “You need to understand something. It doesn’t matter how long you were away. It doesn’t matter where you were or are on this bloody planet – you’re mine.” He punctuates the words with a hard kiss. “And I’m yours. That will never change. We have to work on us. I won’t just...let you leave without even trying.” You cry and cry and he just kisses you softly, his own eyes wet with pain.

“I just want you. Just you. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you blubber and he shushes you, sighing into your hair. “I love you. I love you. I don’t even want a stupid divorce. I thought you might. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Idiot. You weren’t.”

You’re half afraid you won’t get another chance like this, so you try to pull yourself together. “I guess I have a lot of explaining to do.” He hands you a glass of water, having switched to watching you. You know, somehow, that he’s cataloguing all the changes, all the ways you’ve grown. Without him. You had done the same while he was pretending to ignore your return, the longer bangs and tired eyes at odds with the memories you had of him.

“That’s putting it lightly,” he replies, wrapping you up in his shirt and stretching out on his back as he waits for you to start talking. And you talk. You tell him everything, every part of ‘your side of the story.’ The impulsive decisions, the terror, the growth. The hardest to admit to are the insecurities. He listens, with agony in his eyes and his mouth pursed.

But he listens.

“And none of this excuses what I did,” you tell him. “It doesn’t justify it but...”

“I get it.” His voice is gentle. “You needed space. But...the day you came back, you looked at me with so much caution, so much fear that I didn’t know how to react. So I just didn’t. And the anger kept building, you kept treating me like a stranger. I felt so...angry. ‘You’re my wife,’ I wanted to say. Does that mean nothing to you anymore?”

You let how a shuddering breath. “I feel like I’ve changed so much. I didn’t-I’m not who I was when I left.”

“Neither am I. I do wish you’d given me the chance to be there with you. But...at least something good came out of it. ___, you shouldn’t have run away and I...I should’ve tried harder to stop you. I took you for granted. I thought...there will be time for us later, building us an empire took priority. And then you just left, and you didn’t come back. I knew you needed time but then you just. Didn’t come back. I’m still so angry with you, you idiot girl.” He lets you hug him again, lets you cry into his shoulder. He kisses you again and again, with anger and with more love. “But ___, you should know how proud I am of you. I’ve seen your work. I’m so, so proud of you sweetheart. It’s changed you for the better. And the pain of your absence has changed me.”

Your arms tighten around him when he sinks into your embrace, his breath a shudder against your neck. “And I know I can’t live without you. So we’ll try harder. I refuse to entertain any other ideas. And you need to come up with less extreme methods for dealing with problems.”

“I thought you wouldn’t want me anymore,” you admit quietly. He scoffs at your words, pulling you even closer to soothe the sting.

“If I ever stop wanting you, you can safely assume it’s an imposter.” You giggle weakly, struggling with the insecurity and hope warring in your heart. “___, l will spend the rest of our lives showing you how I feel about you. Nothing can change that. Not distance, not time, not even your extremely moronic tendencies. So, I’ll try. I’ll listen.”

“And I won’t make any more stupid decisions. At least not without consulting you,” you promise him, laughing when he pinches your cheek. “No more running away. You're it for me, you always have been. I've done a terrible job of showing it, but...we've got time. I'll work hard.”

Nothing is fixed, but it’s a step in that direction. You’ve both got a lot of work to do. You’ve got a lot to make up for. But the way his body curls around you drives away most of your fear. And the soft kiss he presses to the band around your finger tells you that this time, he won’t stop you from trying.

#alloverkinktober #mlqc victor #mlqc #mlqc fanfic #smut #mr love queen's choice #mr love: queen's choice #love and producer #mlqc li zeyan

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80s-roger · 4 years

Text

Not On My Watch (pt 5)

Pairing: Dad!Roger x Mum!Reader

summary: you’re divorced with queen’s roger taylor due to constant cheating and irrational behaviour towards you. but u have one person in common: your daughter, Laura aka your favourite human on earth. Your marriage with roger had its ups and downs but laura was the happiness in it. Now that she’s 8 and starts to realise how your terms with roger are, you finally tell her that you’re seeing another man except her father and she took it really warmly. She seemed excited to meet the new man unlikely your ex husband who accidentally learns about it by Laura, the weekend you would leave her at his place: on weekends you had some cute getaways with R/N because the court decided that Laura could stay or visit her dad on weekends and stay with him for five days each Christmas and easter vacations. On summers he has the right to be with her for two weeks.

check: masterlist // dialogue prompts

If you haven't read the previous chapters, here they are: part one // part two // part three // part four

note: it wasn’t supposed to be this specific plot, but I promise you the good one is at next one ;)

warnings: flashback scenes, angst, fluff

words: 2,849

taglist: @madeinheavxn @namelesslosers @stacymaytaylor (send me an ask or a message if you want to be tagged)

You set the table, eating like a proper family for the first time in two and a half years. Laura was extremely happy seeing her family reunited. You were telling her stories from the past, which she found intriguing and interesting. You didn't forget mentioning about Roger taking you with him on tour in the United States, a year after started dating. It was the first time you went abroad. You fell for Roger hard. Losing him made you lose yourself too.

"Wow mum, you never told me stories with dad. Fairytales are boring." She gasped after hearing your US experience.

"Why didn't you tell her stories about us?" Roger curiously asked.

"Because at the time, our marriage was going downhill. You know, so I tried to not think of you." You answered.

"Oh.." he didn't have to say something. "So Laura, do you want to hear another story of mum and me?" He asked. Meanwhile, you prepared the dishes for the washing machine. Laura nodded, waiting for the narration.

Flashback

"So you're going out with Kath's friend?" Brian asked Roger.

"Yes," Roger answered while fixing himself at the mirror. "So Kath is your new girlfriend? I thought she was a groupie." He joked.

"Haha, very funny." Brian mocked him. "She's a nice company." He added.

"What about the bone zone?" The blond drummer pondered with a naughty smile on his face.

"That's good too, I don't complain." He shared a laugh with his friend. "So where will you meet her?" He questioned.

"Outside of the pub we met." He answered. "Where should I take her?" Roger nervously asked as if he never went on a date.

"Where do you take most of the girls you like?" Brian asked trying to help him think rationally.

"Bed?" He said back and gained an eye roll from Brian. "But Y/N is so hard to get, I don't know. I'm afraid if I say something wrong she'll lose interest in any second." He mumbled.

"Easy Rog.." Brian tried to calm his friend down. "She agreed to go on a date with you, that's progress, right?" He continued. Roger nodded. "Which means she finds you cute or hot or I don't know how girls describe us." He chuckled at the end making the blond drummer laugh.

"Alright, maybe if I take her to some other pub where we can talk?" Roger thought again.

"Excellent. She's not like the other girls you date, Roger. She's, you know, -" Brian tried to explain what type of girl you are.

"The I-want-the-man-to-chase-me. She's screaming that." Roger described what girl you are and he was right. "It was so hard for me to get to talk with her after our gig ended, I'm even surprised she finally agreed." He added, now wearing his perfume, ready to meet you.

"She likes you, pal. Good luck!" Brian hugged his friend and Roger was on his way to meet you.

You were nervous too. You didn't want to be late. You were used to never arriving on time, but this time, it was a date with a man you liked from the first moment, as much as you denied it. There wouldn't be any other second chance with him, he'd become a famous rockstar.

"There you are!" Roger spotted you coming faster to his place.

"Shit, am I late?" You asked, checking your watch.

"No, no, I just arrived." He was waiting for you, for about ten minutes. But he came at the checkpoint a little earlier due to impatience seeing you.

"Alright then." You stopped a little to catch your breath. Your high heels hurt your feet by walking so fast. But you wanted to look beautiful. The blue dress you were wearing had Roger staring at it and you all the time.

"You look so beautiful Y/N." He gasped as he was checking you out. "Nice dress, nice heels, nice hair, nice you." He ended the compliment with a hand kiss. He really wanted you to catch feelings for him.

"Thank you, Roger." You smiled after receiving his kiss and his compliments. "Where can we go?" You asked.

"There's another pub downtown that plays jazz music and we can talk without shouting." He joked and gently grabbed your hand, opened the door for you and placed you inside.

"Oh, I like jazz." You were surprised that he was probably into jazz. You waited for him to get into his red Renault car.

"Perfect, let's go." He started the engine and nervousness hit your body. You were shaking, feeling like throwing up. A handsome guy next to you, an upcoming legend wants to go on a date with you. "Hey, are you alright?" He asked after stopping at the red traffic light. He checked your hands trembling and gently placed his on yours. "You're not cold, are you?" He asked. You can't be cold on a May night.

"No, I'm just a little nervous." You tried to keep smiling. You're not the tough girl he met a couple of days ago, but a vulnerable nineteen-year-old girl trying to find love.

Roger was feeling split: He had two options in his head. Should he take you to the pub you both agreed or somewhere isolated to talk with no one seeing. That would make you feel more uncomfortable.

"What do you want me to do?" He asked waiting for any answer. "You want me to keep driving or stop somewhere? I promise I won't do anything." He shared his ideas with you. You looked at him confused.

"Could you stop somewhere, please?" You politely asked trying to not sound bitter after your sudden mood.

"Sure, are you alright?" He asked again, trying to find any isolated place for you two.

"Yes, it happens a lot when I'm feeling nervous." You explained.

He didn't say a word. Until he found that place, behind a church, with no soul around. It seemed creepy if you consider you are on the car with a man you met a week ago. But you liked him.

"Listen, if you are feeling nervous, we can call it off." He showed empathy at you feeling awkward.

"No, I won't have another chance with you if we call it off." You got out of the car, trying to get some air. Roger followed your moves, now standing behind you.

"What do you mean?" He asked raising his hands.

"I mean you'll become famous and everything that goes with it and you'll forget about me anyways." You tried to explain.

"Why would I forget you? I like you." He straightforwardly said, sending you shivers.

"I like you too, but I don't want me to love you." You are a person full of emotions, throwing that to Roger made him feel weird.

"Why are you talking about love? This is a date, not a wedding." He objected.

"Exactly, I'm afraid if we become a girlfriend-boyfriend thing, I'll eventually love you and then things will get nasty." You could look years away. Look at you now.

"Are you nuts? I wanted to get to know you, I want to know you well, be my girlfriend, how do we call these things?" He questioned.

"Relationship." You answered turning around, to face him. "Would you like that? I wanted that for years." You asked trying to hide your desperation. But you couldn't.

"Hold on, you never had a relationship?" He asked confused, coming closer to you.

"Don't make fun of that, I never liked the boys who approached me." You admitted. You could see his eyes, sparkling from excitement because he knew now how inexperienced you were on that part. A hopeless romantic with huge fantasy.

"Well, I'd like to be the one." He smirked and grabbed his hands around your waist, pulled you into his arms and kissed your lips. Your first kiss ever. His lips harmoniously moved onto yours giving them what they needed all this time. Tenderness. "How was that?" He asked, his eyes now focused on yours.

"Amazing." You licked your lips and smiled, not feeling nervous anymore.

"Is the pub still a plan?" He asked.

"Yes." You were so hyped after your kiss you couldn't focus on anything besides Roger. His hand caught yours leading you back to his car.

Flashback ended.

"Wow, mum!" She turned to your place. "Dad was your first kiss?" She asked fully awed by the narration.

"Yes, he was." You blushed as you both looked at each other. He was fluttered by your current reaction. Your first everything.

"Oh dad, tell me more!" She begged for more stories, but it was time to leave.

"No young lady, I need to have some other memories between your mum and me." He playfully berated her. "Besides, we have to take you to Laura." You stood up from the chairs and moved towards the hall, wearing your shoes.

"Mum, will you tell me these stories instead of fairytales?' She asked while Roger helped her once more with tying her shoes.

"Yes, I will." You answered. You wanted to tell her stories about you and her father, but most of these are explicit. Not special for children.

-------------------------------------

Roger drove off to John's house to leave Laura. "I'll take her inside." He declared and you stayed in the car to wait.

"Daddy, what about my stuff?" She asked.

"We're going to mum's place now to take your stuff. We'll come again." He rubbed her head before knocking the door.

"Hey Roger, I was waiting for you now." He smiled at his bandmate and turned his gaze to Laura. "Hello, Laura! The other Laura waits for you inside! Come in!" He kissed her head.

"Bye, daddy!" She hugged him and walked inside the house.

"I'll come back again to bring her clothes and tomorrow's books for school," Roger said.

"Sure. I'm waiting for the details tomorrow." John winked.

"Ah, I see where you're getting with that." Roger laughed. "Just the abstract." He joked and left the grand house to come back to you.

"You have the keys to your apartment?" Roger asked you.

"Yes. And a piper spray for any case." You showed him that, referring to R/N who could wait for you around the corner.

"He won't harm you, over my dead body." He reassured you and placed a kiss on your forehead. "Shall we go?" He asked and you nodded.

There wasn't any talk during the car drive, but that didn't make it awkward. It was a peaceful silence you used to have before the dark days arrived. You couldn't hide your fear though, it was visible. Your hands were rubbing your thighs nervously. Roger, noticed your behaviour and placed his hand on yours. "It's going to be alright. That's why I'm here, with you." He placed his head on yours, giving you a reassuring kiss. You hugged him in return, feeling his scent against your senses. He smelled amazing. His perfume combined with nicotine was what you could characterize him.

You opened your apartment's door, seeing the inside of the house upside down. You knew he would fuck it up. All you could think of was who's going to clean this mess?

"Oh God-" you gasped and closed the door behind you.

"Y/N, don't worry we'll fix this mess together." He reassured you. "Do you think he did it on purpose?" He asked trying to figure out what was R/N's intent.

"Shit." You gasped again, looking at your ex-husband horrified.

"What?" He asked after seeing you turning pale.

"FUCK." You yelled, running to Laura's bedroom, looking for your diary. He knew about it.

You searched for it at the place you're hiding it and thanked your lucky stars it was up there inside the pillows you keep at the closet. "Oh God, oh God, thank you!" You stared above, kicking out all your angst while holding your huge notebook. It was clever of you to hide something personal at your daughter's room, in a cupboard she never uses. Roger followed you and sat next to you.

"Y/N, you alright?" He asked placing his hand at your back. His eyes fell at the notebook you were tightly holding. "What's this?" He curiously asked and tried to hold it but you politely refused. "Oh. Is it personal?" He questioned.

"I was keeping a diary all this time." You confessed.

"A diary? How long?" He asked as he was checking all these used pages.

"Before you." You smiled and scrolled a few of your pages.

"Wow, that's a lot..." he was amused. "So I guess I'm in there, aren't I?" He asked checking for assurance.

"Don't guess. Be sure." You smiled.

"Can I see just one page please?" He politely asked.

"I'll show you my favourite." You seemed too excited to get to a specific page.

Roger next to you was smiling through the entire process, trying to read while pages were fastly zapping, until you stopped somewhere from the first twenty pages. He focused on your point of view, trying to understand what you were writing about.

"Oh, your first time." He awed. After reading the sentence: my heart was beating so fast at the moment he was inside me, even my soul could see his, from our eyes. "I didn't know you were so sentimental about it." His cheeks blushed from everything you wrote.

"Of course I was, it was my first time. I loved you, Roger." You opened your heart to him for one more time. His eyes were wide opened. It was the first time he got to hear from you how you really felt about your first time. He continued reading to the next day, how you behaved after your first time.

It had to happen right? Or not? My parents are going to kill me. It should have happened after marriage. That's what they've been saying all my life. I love Roger but he would never settle for a wedding. He's a rockstar now, he would probably abandon me if I ask him to marry me. I have to keep it a secret.

"Y/N, you never told me that your parents are against sex before the wedding." He was shocked at what you were writing.

"I know, I had to do it, otherwise you'd break up with me. I didn't want that at the time." You said feeling secure now that he's still by your side.

"Oh, baby..." he whispered and kept you in his arms. "Was it too important to your family to keep your virginity?" He asked.

"It was for them to keep it until my wedding night." You started. "But you know? I only wanted to give it to the man I loved so bad one summer night. And it was special for me, you made it all about me." You continued and stayed in his arms for a couple of minutes. "They always believed my first time was at our wedding."

"I think you have to take this with you. It's not safe on its own. We should grab Laura's stuff and drive them off to John's." You both stood up and put your daughter's stuff in a bag.

You got in the car again, still silent. You were just reading random pages from your diary, getting all emotional. From you meeting him, dating him, marrying him, giving birth to his child, divorcing him... You wrote many things in there. It has an emotional value. You knew by now that Roger was the only person you wouldn't bother reading it, after your permission of course, because almost every page has his name on it.

---------------------

After giving Laura her stuff, you went back to Roger's fancy house. You were getting used to getting there. He looked like wanting to stay with you again, without including the disagreements. He opened the door and you both walked upstairs, leading to his bedroom.

"Do you think you should stay here now?" He asked.

"Why?" You returned as you placed your diary at the nightstand.

"That asshole could come to your place, any moment. You're not safe." He explained. "Maybe you should stay here. With me." He came closer to you, his face inches away from yours. You didn't say anything. Just let him do all the work for you.

His kiss was deep and his hands couldn't restrict themselves from touching your waist. These couple of days, you are much closer than you were when your marriage went downhill. You wanted to give it a chance.

"Tonight, I want you to be loud. I missed that." He stated, looking you into your eyes.

"Loud?" You asked, trying to understand his motives.

"Really loud. This is why Laura isn't here." He winked and left his room, going to the bathroom to take a shower.

"You're the filthiest man I know!" You playfully yelled at him.

"Oh, I know love!" He loudly answered from the bathroom and so on, you went downstairs to fix two glasses of red wine. Chilling situations like these, haven't happened since Laura was a baby.

#roger taylor #Roger Meddows Taylor #roger taylor fic #queen fic #queen band #queen #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor x oc #roger taylor x female reader #roger taylor x Y/N #john deacon #freddie mercury #brian may

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a-second-hand-sorrow · 4 years

Text

Our Next Adventure (The Master X Reader)

WC: 1137

Warnings: Gets a bit steamy, spoilers for Spyfall pt 1 if you haven't seen it

Summary: When two equally chaotic Timelords fall in love and get married, their lives together are nothing short of mad.

A/N: Guess who finally started writing again??? surprise, it’s me. I legit watched season 11 and 12 of Doctor Who in two days and I’ve now got a big fat crush on Sacha Dhawan as the Master. Hope you guys enjoy this!

Y/N almost swore that in the time she had been with the Master she had forgotten what peace and quiet was. They were married very soon after they left the Academy and had been together for hundreds of years, travelling almost every inch of every known galaxy and universe together. They made quite the team, and they were so very proud of the fact that they were hated by all other Timelords.

Y/N had seen the Master through a good many faces, and he said seen her through a good many as well. Each face and body had its perks, but she definitely had a preference for his current one. His fluffy hair, eclectic dress sense and the madness that reached his eyes when he got incredibly excited made her almost weak at the knees, though she’d never let her husband know that. It would boost his ego right through the stratosphere.

As she slowly woke up, she noticed that she was alone in the bed. That was normal; sleep was a human thing that the Master had no time for, but Y/N liked to indulge in it occasionally. However, what was somewhat unusual was that his favourite purple coat was still bunched up at the foot of the bed. A smirk crossed Y/N’s face, knowing that the coat was normally off limits.

She quickly pulled on a t-shirt and a pair of pants, and she grabbed the coat, savouring the feeling as she pulled it on. Wearing the coat felt like her husband was right there, his scent bringing a smile to Y/N’s face as she began to make her way to the console room.

Clearly her footsteps must have alerted the Master to her presence, as he began to address her without even looking up. “I was wondering when you were going to make your appearance, love. You do enjoy your occasional beauty sleep.”

Y/N chuckled, quickly walking over to the Timelord and leaning against the Tardis console. “Well good morning to you too Koschei.” Y/N muttered, her words managing to draw his gaze to her figure.

“I was going to comment on the fact that it’s actually mid-afternoon in this time zone but that is no longer important. Is that my coat?” He said, his eyes raking over her body slowly.

Y/N nodded, slowly whirling around in the dramatic fashion that they both loved. “Well, what do you think? You just left it in our room, so I figured it was free game.” Y/N said, an almost cheeky smile on her face.

The Master’s eyes finally met Y/N’s as he slowly walked towards her, eventually settling his hands on her waist. “Were you trying to kill me? Was that your little plan because by god is it working.” He said, his voice low and his pupils blown.

Y/N couldn’t help but feel satisfied, knowing that even after centuries of marriage she still managed to affect him in this way. “I think it kind of suits me, to be honest.” Y/N said nonchalantly, gently placing her hands at the back of his neck, toying slightly with his hair.

“You are devious and crafty and I have never been more in love with you.” He said, immediately closing the gap between the two of them with a rough kiss. Y/N’s hands moved further up into his hair, lightly tugging at it which elicited a groan from her husband.

The Master’s hands squeezed at Y/N’s waist, pulling her closer to him so their chests were against each other. Eventually the need to breathe made them separate, but Y/N rested her forehead against the Master’s, revelling in the soft thud of his twin heartbeat combined with her own.

“I’m taking that as a sign to steal your coat more often.” Y/N said, smiling as the Master rolled his eyes.

“How do you expect us to wreak havoc across the worlds when you keep distracting me like that? Honestly woman, its like you have no respect for what we do.” He said, trying to keep a straight face as Y/N glared at him with mock-menace.

“No respect for what we do? Did you see me the other week when we absolutely destroyed that Skithra platoon? I was the entirety of the brains behind that operation, Koschei, and you cannot tell me otherwise.” Y/N said, untangling herself from her husband’s grip as she moved to the other side of the console, crossing her arms over her chest defiantly.

“I know, love, and you were brilliant, as ever. You’re always impeccable, and we work so very well together. I actually have an idea for what our next adventure can be.” He said, and Y/N raised her eyebrows, leaning forward in curiosity.

“Do tell, darling. I always love hearing your plans.” Y/N said, watching eagerly as the Master grinned and made his way over to her side of the console.

“Well, it’s a very long-term plan, but it will be very rewarding when it plays out. You know how I’ve been discussing a sort of alliance with the Kassavin?” He said, and Y/N nodded, prompting for him to continue.

“To cut a long story short, I want them on my side so I can ruin the Doctor’s life in the most spectacular way possible. Initial thoughts?” He said, watching for Y/N’s response. The broad grin that spread across her face was enough for the Master to continue.

“It will involve us posing as MI6 agents, and the TCE will take care of the agents we’re replacing. We’ll make sure we work with the Doctor at least once before the grand plan, so she can trust us. We’re going to get that tech mogul Daniel Barton in league with us and the Kassavin, who we will order to assassinate various intelligence officers from around the globe. After that, we’ll make sure the Doctor comes to us to help assist her, and then eventually we’ll end up in an automated plane with a cockpit bomb and a reveal that’ll leave the Doctor breathless.” The Master was almost out of breath, his eyes sparkling with madness and joy as he waited for his wife’s response.

“You always manage to come up with the wildest plans, Koschei, and this one is no exception. I love it. I’m already imagining the look on the Doctor’s face when everything is revealed. Ooh, I’ve got goose bumps just thinking about it.” Y/N said, the devilish smile on her face matched by her husband’s.

“Oh I knew there was a reason I married you. We are going to have so much fun watching her crumble, my love.” The Master said, pressing a brief but passionate kiss to Y/N’s lips before pulling away.

“I’ll be looking forward to every minute of it with you. Now, let’s get to it, shall we?”

#doctor who #doctor who x reader #doctor who imagine #the master #the master x reader #the master imagine #dhawan!master #dhawan!master x reader #sacha dhawan

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outerspaceisbetterthannothing · 5 years

Text

Truth To Be Told [Ashton One Shot]

Warnings: slight cursing

Pairing: Ashton Irwin x Reader

A/N: this was supposed to be Anne’s @bringmethehorizonandpizza birthday present, but i’m the most awful friend, so i’ve finished it only now, hope Anne doesn’t hate me as much as i deserve to be hatedfor that 🙈 i also hope you’ll enjoy this cliche bff to lovers story. My prompt was “I wanna eat you up like a candy” 😈 Feedback is extremelly appreciated, as always! Happy reading!

You were rushing through the rain in the busy downtown, being awfully late to your date. You looked at your watch and cursed under you breath. You just couldn’t get how it all happened.

And what happened was you simply forgetting about the date in the first place. Unbelievable, but you did. It wasn’t like you didn’t like the guy, completely opposite for that matter. You and Nate had been seeing each other for almost three months now and everything was going great. He was smart, but not a snob, had nice sense of humor, normal job and usual interests. He was absolutely normal and you often thought you liked that most about him. And it definitely wasn’t like you didn’t wanna go on this date. Nate booked a table in that Greek restaurant you wanted to visit and you anticipated that evening. You just… forgot.

It happens, right? Sometimes people forget things and there is nothing criminal in that. To be honest, it wasn’t even your fault. You had woken up with mild headache that morning and it really distracted you. You also had a really tough time at work, and by the time you actually realised it wasn’t just Friday but also that Friday, the Friday you had a date, you were already late. And yes, you felt awful. Because you liked Nate. You liked him enough to really wish for things to work between the two of you. So you were almost running. Cause you cared. You really did.

The restaurant was full, which didn’t surprise you as it was Friday night, but the waiter didn’t make you wait any extra minute. Nate smiled when he saw you and you felt the anxiety knot in your belly weaken. He wasn’t angry, he understood. He kissed you and helped with your chair and joked how he had some extra time to choose wine, so it was even better that you came late. He was a perfect gentleman, you wondered how you could even wish for anything more. And even though the annoying voice in the back of your head was nagging you about that ‘more’ you were wishing for, providing you with images and memories, you pushed it all back and focused on Nate. You didn’t quite know what was about to happen, but you had the feeling that tonight was somehow important for your boyfriend.

The waiter brought you wine and you felt that was the moment. Nate coughed and fixed his watch, he was always doing it if being nervous. You tried to guess what it was he was about to say. You’ve met his friends already, but it was too early to meet his family yet. You never had the exclusivity talk, but from the beginning of your relationship you both understood it was implied. Was he about to hand you the key to his apartment? Or was it also too soon? Or maybe he wanted to suggest going on holiday together? You felt your insides tremble in anticipation.

Nate cleared his throat again and started, “Y/n, you look wonderful today.” You smiled. He lied. You looked usual, but you were thankful to him for this little lie.

“And you always look wonderful, I have no idea, how you manage to do that, but you do. And I just wanted to take this opportunity to express my feelings to you,” he took a pause and you felt ice cover your still slightly trembling insides. Good God, was he about to say the L word? But you sure as hell wasn’t ready for the L word, no no no, how could you stop this? “You’re beautiful, and incredibly funny, and you’re smart, and kind, and caring. Honestly, you’re picture perfect. And I’m even not going to say how you’re the most sensible woman I’ve met in my entire life,” he paused again. You were just looking at him, feeling flattered and scared at the same time. And then he said it. “And all of that only leaves me utterly surprised why we don’t work.”

You felt the air leave your lungs. You even thought about asking him to repeat, but there was no need, as he continued. “I mean, please, tell me if I’m mistaking, but there’s just no spark between the two of us, is there?”

You looked away from him, moving your sight to your slightly shaking hand on the table. He covered your hand with his and, suddenly, you calmed down. You looked back at Nate and shook your head.

“No, there is no spark,” you admitted with a smile. “We’re more like a quiet couple with 15 years of marriage experience.”

Nate giggled. You liked his giggles, the sound fresh and light. But not as wonderful as your favourite giggles.

“This is unbelievably cruel,” he said. “I mean, we should be perfect together! We fit wonderfully and you’re gorgeous! What’s wrong with us?”

You shrugged, sipping on your wine. “No idea, Nate. To be honest, I haven’t felt so comfortable with a guy for a long time. So I’m just as confused as you are. And a little disappointed,” you admitted to your wine glass.

“Hey, don’t be, please,” he asked you, squeezing your hand. “If you think we need more time-”

“No, Nate, you’re right. I don’t think time will help here,” you forced yourself to smile again. Nate didn’t deserve your sad face, it wasn’t his fault after all. “What are we gonna do now?”

Nate laughed. “To be honest, I have no idea. That’s like, the most civilized break up in my life. Usually it’s scandals and tears and friends picking up your stuff from your ex.”

You laughed too, it was sincere this time, cause you knew that pattern just as well.

“What people do when they just stop dating without all the drama?” he asked.

“Well, I still have your sweater,” you reminded. “And you have my book.”

“Which I hope to finish by the next weekend.”

“So,” you started timidly, “maybe I could step by around the weekend and exchange your sweater for my book?”

“And we could then go and drink some coffee,” Nate nodded in agreement. He probably saw the slight hesitation in your eyes, as he added, “Don’t get me wrong, I just don’t wanna lose you completely. As I said, you’re one of the best people I know. Do you think we could still be friends?”

Of course, you could be friends. Obviously, you were a wonderful friend. And never a girlfriend. But, Nate didn’t need to hear that from you. So you agreed and smiled and you just spent a great evening enjoying the food and chatting about everything and nothing at the same time. When the night was over and Nate was paying the check (he insisted on doing it himself, as, technically, you were still dating while ordering) you thought, that the dinner went just as smooth and enjoyable, as you could expect. Only you weren’t a couple anymore. But it didn’t change anything, nor in the mood, neither in your feelings. And if what Nate said didn’t persuade you that breaking up was the best decision, that indifference you had now inside finally did.

Nate waited for your uber with you. He hugged you and wished you good night and promised to text next week. And just like that another unremarkable relationship in your life has ended.

***

Ashton started talking before he came up to their place at the counter.

“I do think we need to add more guitars to that song.”

Calum rolled his eyes. This conversation had been going all day long. And even now, late in the evening in a bar, where they decided to spend the night just to relax a little, Ashton couldn't let it go.

“You know what? You’ll tell that Mike and Luke on Monday. And now you’ll finish your drink and we’ll go home.”

“If you disagree, mate, you should just say so,” Ashton frowned. “No need to be passive aggressive.”

Calum chuckled, taking a look around the bar. He had no agenda, they weren’t expecting any friends, he just took a meaningless look around. And he wished he didn’t.

“Hey, Ash, isn’t it-” Calum started, but just as abruptly stopped. What reaction would Ash have? Calum knew about his feelings and wasn’t sure if it was so smart of him to show this to Ashton.

“What?” Ash looked at him quizzically.

“Nothing,” Calum shook his head and downed his drink. “You ready to go?”

Ashton chuckled nervously and looked at his best mate. “No, I’m not ready. And what did you want to say?”

“Nothing. Just thought I saw a familiar face, but obviously I’ve mistaken.”

But that was enough for Ashton to start looking around.

“You haven’t,” he informed Calum, his voice dropped. He turned back and looked into his glass.”

“So it is Y/N’s boyfriend?” Calum stated, confirming his earlier suspicions. They both looked on their right to the further part of the bar, where the guy they’ve met only several weeks ago as Y/N’s new love interest, was sucking on some girl’s face who was definitely not Y/N.

Ashton nodded and finished his whiskey.

“Come on, man, we should go,” Calum tried and patted his friends shoulder. But Ashton changed plans already. He beckoned the bartender and ordered one more round for him and Calum.

“Ash, don’t think it’s a good idea,” Calum frowned. “We better go, mate.”

“Hey, we’re just spending an evening. Promise, I won’t do anything, just let’s stay for a while.”

Calum sighed and let his friend pay for his drink. He knew it was a bad idea. But he also knew he’d rather die than leave his friend in a state like that. They were stuck together even through the worst ideas ever. So he stayed. But no matter how hard he tried to discuss new songs or studio work or his sister’s life (for the lack of topics), Ashton kept staring at Y/N’s boyfriend.

“I mean, how does she manage to do that?” Ashton finally muttered halfway through his glass.

“What?” Calum scrunched his face, looking away from his instagram feed.

“How does she manage to always choose such losers?” Aston turned to his friend. His gaze was already a little fogged by the alcohol.

“He didn’t seem a loser when we met him,” Calum shrugged. It wasn’t like he didn’t feel bad for Y/N, he just learnt long ago not to get into other people’s relationships. But Ashton was different, of course. They were much closer friends with Y/N and there were some other, well, pretty obvious reasons.

“He’s dating one of the most wonderful girls in the world,” Ashton started, looking at his friend like he was a complete idiot, “but instead of being with her and loving her, like she deserves, he’s in a bar cheating on her.”

“You don’t know everything, Ash,” Calum shook his head, while trying his hardest not to get into this argument. And pretty much failing.

“Like what? You think she deserves that?”

“Jesus, Ash, of course no!” Calum huffed in his glass. “No one deserves this. I just-” he threw another glance at the guy. “Maybe he has a twin brother.”

Ashton laughed, loudly and quite sad. He looked at Y/N’s guy again and his face fell.

“How am I gonna tell her that?” he asked.

Calum looked at his friend, thinking of a better answer. “You can keep it to yourself,” he finally said what he really believed in. Calum knew Ash would never agree on that, but honesty was one of the main principles of their friendship, and Cal wasn’t ready to break it, even for the sake of a girl his brother was in love with.

Ashton gave him a long heavy stare. “Are you even serious right now?” “Dude, not all the people wanna hear such things, you know,” Calum tried to explain. “Have you had a talk with her about that? Are you sure she would like to know and to know from you? You won’t believe how many people would choose to live in ignorance.”

“No, you don’t know what you’re talking about, mate,” Ashton was fast to dismiss all his arguments. “I know her, okay? I know Y/N, she would like to know. I just need to figure out how to break it on her,” he sighed. Then he downed his whiskey and ordered one more.

“Hey, buddy, that’s not the best idea,” Calum tried to stop him, but it seemed like Ashton didn’t even hear him.

“I just don’t get it,” the drummer huffed and went on drinking. “She’s smart and funny and it’s so easy to talk to her. I can literally talk to her about everything. And she’s the kindest person ever, so supportive and thoughtful. How can they keep doing this to her?”

Calum sighed. He knew for sure what was gonna happen next. “She’s your friend, Ash, obviously for you she’s one of the best-”

“No, you don’t get it. She’s not one of the best. She is the best,” he stated passionately. “She’s the most beautiful woman in the whole world. And, god, I shouldn’t think this way about her, but she’s so sexy, Cal! It’s like-” he took another gulp of his drink. “It’s the hardest part of being her friend. She’s unbelievably hot. And he can have her, but chooses to have that,” he motioned to Y/N’s boyfriend. “Seriously, man, what’s your problem?” he exclaimed loudly enough.

“Okay, buddy, let’s keep it low, shall we?” Calum cooed, patting his shoulder and turning him back to the bar counter. “We don’t need a scene.”

“I’m alright, I just-” Ashton stumbled.

“You just what, buddy?”

Ashton sighed and looked at his best friend, his eyes full of sorrow. “I just love her so much, Cal, how can I break her heart like that?”

Calum smile softly and answered, “Here’s a revolutionary idea, Ash. How about telling her all that?”

“Of course, I’m gonna tell her, did you even listen to me?” Ash rolled his eyes.

“No no no, not about her douchebag of a boyfriend,” Calum shook his head, smile still on his face. “About how you love her. And all the things you’ve said about her, how she’s the best, you know?”

Ashton sent his way another heavy look and indulged in his drink.

“You know I can’t do that,” he mumbled couple minutes later. “She deserves someone better than me.”

***

You were sitting on your couch with a glass of wine in the shittiest mood ever.

And what was not to be angry and upset about. You’d just been dumped after all. You huffed in your wine glass, recollecting on your most civilized break up. The worst thing was that you couldn’t even blame Nate. No, he didn’t do anything wrong. The only fault he had was not being the man you truly wanted to be with.

You rolled eyes on yourself. How pathetic you were in this longing after your own friend. Each time you were starting a new relationship, you did everything to finish them as soon as possible. Of course, not intentionally. You truly wanted to be with someone, to love someone who could love you back. But each time you were too restrained, too closed off. And naturally your partners felt it. No matter how much you wanted your relationship to work, you just couldn’t devote to them fully. Cause deep down inside, in your subconscious, hidden from the light, there was a question. The question you’ve kept asking those long sleepless nights. If you ever had a chance with Ashton, how would it be? Would it be different? Would you feel different? Would he make you feel like you, real you, and not like you were playing a role you’d never bothered to learn properly? Whatever the answer was, one thing you always knew. If Ashton showed up on your threshold asking for a chance with him, you’d break any relationship in an instance.

So every your breakup was your doing. It was your fault. And what was even worse, you wasted your partner’s time shamelessly. You wasted Nate’s time. And Nate didn’t deserve that. He was kind and caring. And he was always honest with you. You treated him ill, you knew it.

You poured yourself more wine. Maybe you should have stopped dating for some time? At least till you could look at Ashton without lusting after him. You emotional status wasn’t healthy, obviously, so it was better to wait till Ash would be out of your system. You just needed a break. Just for now.

Harsh knock on your front door startled you. You looked at the door, not fully getting what you had to do. But when the knock repeated, followed by muffled “Oh, fuck, don’t tell me you’re not home!”, you realized you had to open.

“You’re home, great,” Ashton mumbled, basically falling into your apartment, as you opened the door for him.

You fixed the bathrobe you were in and looked at the drummer, who managed to stumble twice on the way to your couch.

“Are you drunk?” you asked wearily. Drunk Ashton always scared you a little. He was either super sad or super angry, and you weren’t sure yet which one you got tonight.

“Nah, just had a couple with Cal,” he answered and by how slowly he was speaking, you understood he had more than couple glasses.

“And where’s Cal?”

“He dropped me off here and went home,” Ashton yawned, slowly slouching down on the couch. “He’s been saying I should go home all night. But I needed to see you.”

You came closer, thought for a minute and sat on the coffee table in front of him. Ashton smiled to you drunkenly and fully lied down, fixing a cushion under his head.

“Need to tell you shit,” he went on explaining. “Bad shit. Really, really bad shit. You’ll hate me for it,” he added, his voice sad and low.

You looked at him with a smile. “I could never hate you, Ash,” you answered quietly, thinking he was already asleep.

But then he opened his eyes and looked at you, confusion on his face. It looked so funny, drunk and confused Ashton lying on your couch, you even wished you had your phone with you to take a picture.

“How can you be so sure? You don’t even know what I’m about to tell you.”

“Whatever you tell me, it won’t be enough to make me hate you.”

It was almost sad how true those words were. You’ve loved him for years, let him call you his friend, saw his half naked one night stands leave his bedroom in the mornings. You were positive, nothing in this world could make you hate him, if even your broken bleeding heart couldn’t force you to do it.

“I was in a bar with Cal,” Ashton stated.

“Yeah, you told me already.”

“No no no, you don’t get it,” Ashton scrunched his face. “I was in a bar with Cal. And there was that wanker you’re dating, what’s his name again?”

“Nate?” your insides froze. Was it possible, that Nate actually knew about your feelings to Ashton. Did he say anything to him?

“Yeah, that wanker. How do you manage to choose such losers, doll?” Ashton asked you, but before you could come up with at least some answer, he already continued. “So he was there and he was kissing some other girl.”

You kept gaping at Ashton.

“There, you can hate me now,” he finished, yawned again and closed his eyes.

You stroke his hair and smiled again.

“I don't hate you.”

“But I just told you your guy is cheating on you!” Ash exclaimed.

“He was not cheating on me, we’ve broken up.”

“What?” Ashton opened his eyes again. You nodded in confirmation of your words. “That doesn’t matter, he could wait, show you some respect. Why do you always choose such losers?” he repeated his question.

You sighed, not really knowing what to answer to that. Were they really losers? Or was it you, a loser in love with your own friend?

“You deserve so much better,” Ashton muttered, while you were thinking about your answer. His speech was getting quieter and slower, he was slowly drifting off to sleep. But then he added with sorrow, “If only I could love you, I’d treated you like a queen you are.”

“You wanna love me?” you shot back before you could think what you were saying.

“Of fucking course I wanna love you, doll,” he frowned, his eyes are still closed. “I wanna love you and care for you. I wanna come back home to you every night and call you seven times a day from the tour like Mike does to Crystal. And I wanna touch you and kiss you, wanna kiss every inch of your body. Hell, I wanna eat you up like a candy. But oh well, you’ll never know anyway, so what’s the point.”

He tugged himself further in you couch, let out the final yawn and fell asleep. Leaving you stare at him mindlessly. You felt like some part of your world, really important part of it, had just crashed down, but you had no idea what it meant for you or what you felt about it.

You stood up, your limbs hardly moving. Looked at a six foot tall giant, crouched on your too short for him couch, and thought how he’ll be sore in the morning. You covered him with a blanket, which was thrown over an armchair, and went to your bedroom to spend yet another sleepless night because of Ashton fucking Irwin.

***

Long moan, full of pain and regret, was the first thing you heard from Ashton in the morning. You were surprised he woke up so early, it wasn’t even seven yet, but you were also extremely happy about this fact, as you didn’t manage to find your rest last night. You spent several hours staring at your ceiling and guessing if he really had said all those things, or you just imagined them. And trying to predict what it would mean for your friendship. You were angry and confused. You felt a newborn hope inside, starting to bloom from his drunk confessions, but were so scared to let it grow. He did keep all those things from you, obviously he had a reason. Judging by that, he didn’t want to be with you. But still he said he wanted to love you. So did he? Or didn’t he?

God, you were tired. Not only from the last night, full of discoveries and doubts. Standing in your kitchen and listening to his moans and curses, you realized you were tired of Ashton, of all the sadness and distress he brought in your life.

Ashton appeared in the door frame. His shirt was crumpled, just as his face. He was rubbing his eyes, messy curls falling on different sides of his face. He stumbled over to the chair and gave you a hard look.

“Hey,” he muttered.

“Hey,” you echoed.

You felt a change in your feelings. You had no idea how much of last night he remembered. And it wasn’t like seeing him made you less angry. If anything, your annoyance only got stronger. But at the same time you felt nervous, you were almost scared of everything that was about to happen.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m really glad I woke up on your couch and not on the pavement somewhere,” Ashton said, distracting you from your worries, “but how did I get here?”

So he didn’t remember. Or was he just acting he didn’t remember not to discuss it? You shook your head lightly. The questions were endless, fueled by your fear of losing something you’d spent years dreaming about. You just had to shut your subconscious up and go with the floow.

“You came,” you shrugged, rushing to answer his question. “Said Calum dropped you off.”

“Can’t remember a thing,” he mused out loud, hiding his face in his hands.

“So, why did you get so drunk?” you asked, your slightly shaking hands clenched in fists.

Ashton put his hands away from his face and frowned, remembering what he could from the previous night.

“You know, the day was hard, and the week even harder.”

“So it wasn’t because you saw Nate kissing some other girl in the bar you were with Cal at?”

He closed his eyes and let out under his breath, “Shit, Y/N, I’m so sorry, you shouldn’t have found out like that.”

“Old news,” you dropped, examining his reaction. You’d know Ashton for several years already. Hell, you’d loved him almost all this time. You knew he wasn’t lying or acting. He didn’t remember last night.

“How is that old news?” Ashton frowned, more surprised by your tone, than your actual words.

“We broke up, so he can basically kiss whoever he wants,” you explained and crossed your arms, feeling insecure under his stare all of the sudden.

“Okay,” Ash said, his eyes not leaving your face. “What else did I say?”

You chuckled, anger spreading over your face. “Well, after informing me about Nate’s dissolute behaviour, you went on how I always choose losers-”

“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” Ashton interrupted you, “I swear, I’m never drinking again. I-”

“But I think the highlight of the evening,” you kept telling him, not paying any attention to his apology, “was definitely the moment you stated you want to eat me up like a candy.”

Ashton choke on his own breath. He looked up on you, eyes full of pure terror. He didn’t say anything, and neither did you.

“You-” he started in whisper, but hesitated.

“Is that true?” you rushed him.

“What exactly?”

“That you want to eat me up like a candy!”

He winced. “You don’t have to repeat that.”

“Well I’m sorry. I kinda spent the whole night playing on repeat my best friend telling me he wanted to eat me up like a candy! Can’t get it out of my mind now!”

“You weren’t supposed to know. Especially not like this.”

His words were full of regret and that was what hurt you the most.

“Obviously, that was the only possible way for me to find out,” you shrugged. “Why?”

Your sudden question took him by surprise. Ashton looked at you, confusion on his face.

“Why wasn’t I suppose to know?”

He sighed, and looked down on his hands. You waited. A minute passed, but he kept sitting there in silence, the lack of answers playing on your nerves.

“Why, Ashton?” you almost yelled at him.

“Because I’m not the one you need!” he threw back.

You gaped at him as he went on. “I’m out of the city seven months a year. You deserve someone who’d be there for you. Not the guy for whom late night calls and occasional facetimes are the only option. I have no idea what other shit I told you yesterday, Y/N, but I guess you could read between the lines, if I didn’t say this,” he took a deep breath and admitted, “I love you. I’m in love with you. And I know better than anyone, I don’t deserve you a bit.”

You nodded, looking at him. Then looked at the kitchen island, separating the two of you, picked up a mug you’d taken out of the cupboard earlier and threw it right in Ashton’s head.

He dodged by some miracle, not less, his reactions are naturally slowed down by his hangover.

“What are you-” he tried to question you, looking back at the pieces of ceramics on the floor behind him, but had to stop, as the next mug flew in his direction.

He stepped aside, dodging from this one, and looked at you. You opened the cupboard, took the first piece you could find and prepared to the next throw, when he yelled, “Not this one, that’s your grandma’s set!”

You looked at the old china cup, put it down on the counter carefully and turned to the pile of IKEA plates.

“Jesus Christ, can you stop? What is-”

But you threw the plate, making him hide behind the island.

“You don’t deserve me?” you yelled at him.

Ashton peeked from under the kitchen island, but instantly hid back as you send another plate his way.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Stand up and face me like a man, Ashton!”

He stood up carefully, took a step to the side of the island. “I would love to face you, if you weren’t about to tear my head down, doll,” he chuckled cautiously while keeping moving.

“Well you fully deserve that, asshole!” another plate was smashed on the wall behind him. You were getting better at aiming with every other throw, and that was making Ashton nervous.

“Can you, please stop trying to kill me?”

“How dare you say things like that to me?” you shouted back, not even getting what he was talking about, your full attention on your own pain and fury. “I’ve been going crazy for years, Ashton!” you threw another one. “Feeling guilty for falling for my best friend! Getting insecure cause you’ve never even looked my way, brining all those models and groupies at my parties. Breaking up with normal guys cause I couldn’t get you out of my head!” you threw the last plate you had in your hands and looked around in search for the next shell.

“And all of these for you to spill your drunk guts one night? For me to learn that you actually had feeling for me accidentally?” you picked up a small pan from your stove and threw it. “Fuck you, Ashton!”

“Okay, this is too much!” Ashton muttered, looking at the pan flying past him. “Do you- Do you love me?” he asked, turning to you, realization creeping up him slowly.

You stopped, breathing hard and met his eyes. “I don’t. I hate you. I can’t put into words how much I hate! Why haven’t you ever told me? Not even given a hint?”

“And why haven’t you?”

You felt a hole left in your heart by this question. You were standing in your kitchen surrounded by shattered dishes, both wide-eyed, breathless and shocked. You couldn’t believe the words he’d just said. He was afraid of the reaction they may cause.

“Get out, Ashton,” you whispered, feeling the lump in your throat. Your eyes burnt with tears about fall.

He took a step towards you.

“Get the fuck out,” you repeated.

He smirked, covered the distance between you two in couple more steps and pulled you into him. What he didn’t envisaged was that you had just enough time to grab a spatula and start hitting him with it.

“Can you- just- not-” he stumbled through his words, one hand grabbing yours with the spatula, and another trying to keep you close to him. You two struggled for some time before he bent down to you and covered your mouth with his.

Even the kiss was a struggle. Your knees were shaking from the feeling, but you kept trying to bite him. Ashton huffed, let go of your lips and looked at you, his sight heavy, but you recognized little devils dancing deep inside his eyes.

“Try to bite me or hit me again, and I won’t eat you up,” he threatened.

You froze. You were still furious with him, you really were. But not to the point of risking the prospect of being eaten up by this man. After everything that asshole put you through, you were positive you deserved some special treatment.

He looked you in the eyes and smirked, taking in your obedience.

“Good girl,” he mused and kissed you again, this time deeper, with more passion and lust. “Now, how about moving this argument to the bedroom?” he asked, picking you up from the floor and turning around. “What do you say, my little candy?”

“Oh, gosh,” you chuckled into his neck, you face turning bright red. You knew the nickname would stick, but right now, in the arms of the man you’d been dreaming about for so long, you had nothing against it.

***

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