#so there you go that's my ill thought out post

[hana-no-seiiki]

WHY DON’T YOU GIVE ME A SMILE? (ACT 2)

YANDERE! BATFAM x JINX (ARCANE/LEAGUE)-ESQUE! READER

[ ACT ONE HERE ]

cw/tw: mentally ill reader. schizophrenic reader. reader w/ abandonment issues. manipulative reader. crimes. arson.

summary: we dive deeper into Gotham's explosive personality and history with those that took the title of ‘boy wonder’

MORE ON YOUR ORIGINS

“They were right! You’re just a Jinx.”

“Everybody shut up! I need to think!”

“We weren’t . . . “

As much as you scared the crap out of Joker’s goons. Since they saw you grow up first hand. A lot of them tended to be overprotective over you.

I mean, they’re insane enough to follow Joker. What more you?

They see you as his successor. An heir of sorts.

Which is why Jason Todd felt like he had no choice but to either fix you or keep you locked up.

You don’t remember much of him. If you did you would hate him.

He was the one that essentially helped you pull the trigger on your family.

If you haven’t read my other posts about it, here’s the rundown.

Jason had a massive crush on reader when the two of em were kids. Prior to everything. Before he was adopted, before reader set their world ablaze, before shit hit the fan essentially.

He saw how neglected you felt. The rejection you faced from your peers for not being strong enough. For being small and weak.

Him and your sister were pretty popular amongst the kids but it only made the comparisons worse.

It was always how they were “twice the kids at [Y/N]’s age.”

And so he thought of a little gift. Just a little something to show the others how cool you really are.

He didn’t expect you to use it that way. And the worst part of it all, he wasn’t there to comfort you. I mean sure, dozens of people died that day. Many of which he was somewhat fond of. But he was sure they’d want him to comfort you. To say that it wasn’t your fault.

And despite all that, you only knew Jason as that one guy Joker went too far with.

“Hey, [N/N].”

The call of your name almost froze you on the spot. Their screams pushed forward from the back of your mind into the forefront. You didn’t think. Your hands just pulled the trigger of your machine gun on its own.

“Who the hell are you?” You grit your teeth. You’ve heard of this Red Hood going around and ruining your adoptive father’s plans lately.

And what’s worse? The man kept forcing you to stay away. Plying you with all sorts of prostitutes and all the money you could ever need or want.

Despite your hostile disposition, the man in question doesn’t return it. “I’m sorry. This was all my fault. I shouldn’t have left you behind.”

“Leave.” You lowered your machine gun. A sudden wave of drowsiness overwhelmed you. A sense of calm. Weakness. Everything was screaming at you to end the source. But if he kept dodging your bullets them perhaps diplomacy would work.

You breathed out. [Y/N]. That name, that identity — though it fell down a well and was long dead it still had it uses.

Softened voice, doe eyes, and posture loose. If you had no other weapon they you always had your vulnerability.

“You need to leave, Joker is coming soon and I can’t help you if you’re caught.”

“Who was that, Jinx?” Joker asked.

You turned around. Your eyes meeting his chest and then his face, where that wide, freakish grin was stuck unto him.

“Old man, I think you mean what.” The toxic pink glint flashed through your eyes as you once again buried your old self along with the rest of the corpses that have met their demise by your hand.

“Meet Fishbones.”

BACK TO YOUR RIVAL:

Recently Tim had been . . . more agreeable to your demands somewhat?

You could tell he was pulling his punches.

Sometimes he’d even join you in your exploits.

You never trusted him of course. You never trusted anyone but yourself. But he was fun to be around is all. Whether it was you two beating each other to near death or blowing up buildings (he made sure to evacuate its residents before you two went all out).

“You know. I kinda wanna blow up that building. Don’t you think we’ll have a better view of the sky that way, Timmy?” You pointed to the structure with your signature gun shaped hand gesture.

That was one of Bruce’s buildings.

“You . . . “ Tim blinked at you a couple of times. “are so right.”

“Let’s go.” You yanked him the hand.

Tim smiled. Even if he wasn’t making direct contact with your skin, and you with his — he couldn’t help but smile at the intimacy of this moment. What were his worries with you beside him? All the sadness and anger felt so fleeting when he was with you.

His glee almost costed him his life as it took him a couple of moments to realize that you have pushed him off a building after a while of parkour.

He managed to grapple himself back, and with your assistance, he got back up to the ledge you two were on.

He gave you one half hearted glare. You laugh at his face, “You’re such a loser! Always ready to cry! Wah wah wah!” And you set off. Getting within the building with no care for stealth whatsoever.

What was the point of being all sneaky like when you had bombs on you?

"Wait up! Get back here!" Tim ran after you. He didn’t mind that you were essentially destroying all his and Bruce’s hard-work on his industries, but you were being too reckless. He would sure as hell minded if you were caught.

Turns out he wasn’t so far off when it came to his fears and suspicions.

“You. You set me up.” You glared at him. Hands on your blaster. Ready to shoot at a moment’s notice. Your eyes flicking between the men in front of you, wondering who was best to pick off first.

Batman, Nightwing, or the man you stupidly thought was your friend.

“No. No you have to believe me I—“ Tim tried to explain. But Dick cuts him off, “Good job, we couldn’t have done it without you.”

“You traitor. I knew it. I knew it.” Your voice got weaker and weaker.

No, no, no. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. This wasn’t part of the plan. Tim was supposed to be with you for longer.

“I told you, you have no choice.” Bruce finally spoke. His cape moved to his back.

He wasn’t going to let you go. Not without making it bloody.

“Oh, boohoo. You’ve always been no fun!” Your eyes never leave the two dark suited men, but Tim knew you were speaking to him. “Good thing I never trusted you.”

And you take a deep breath, dropping the laughing gas Harley gave you for emergencies. It wasn’t as strong as the original one, hell you’re sure that those people probably expected that move. But it at least blocked their line of sights on you, allowing you to create some distance.

You managed to get far enough to ready your weapons and send a call of help to your adoptive parents before your prediction proved to be true — footsteps behind you; loud and clear.

“Look’s like we’ve got even more company. Huh, boy savior?”

“Don’t move and I won’t cut you down.”

Pow pow in your hand, and desperation in your mind. The last thing you heard is a blade unsheathing before you pull the trigger.

୨ ©️ ୧⸝⸝﹕hana.no.seiiki - yun | 2024﹐⊂☁️⊃ ‹𝟹

AUTHOR’s NOTE: YALL THOUGHT THIS WAS GONE!! WELL THINK AGAIN!! I AM BACK!!! Sorry for the late update!! Man I’m so excited for season 2 of arcane ahahsheudidj

Taglist: @w31rdg1rl @cherry-peach-flavored @ice-cream-writes-stuff @speckle-meow-meow @inejghafawifesblog @sitepathos @mimiissia @rolo-at-midnight @mossyvampire @kawaiimusiccollection @harpy-space @takottai @maddeningmangos @obsessed-with-a-fictional @ihatemylifeuwu @caramelstrikezz @szapizzapanda @vanessa-boo @imbiafandbored @victor-rose @earphonejack09 @rainnyydaysworld @bubbabobabubbles @ksziggy @evan-trand @emo-z0mbiezzz @nyra-42 @h0rr0r-10ver-69 @orangeboulevard @alwayszealousdetective @huhuhhuhh @iwasveronica @imginarygirl @nebuluma @heyitsaloy @mysticalhills

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere imagine #yandere fic #yandere core #batfam #batfamily #yandere batfam #yandere batfamily #batfam x reader #batfamily x reader #yandere batfam x reader #yandere batfamily x reader #bruce wayne #bruce wayne x reader #yandere bruce wayne x reader #yandere bruce wayne #dick grayson #dick grayson x reader #yandere dick grayson x reader #nightwing #nightwing x reader #yandere nightwing x reader #jason todd #yandere jason todd #red hood #yandere red hood #jason todd x reader #yandere tim drake x reader

[sammyche]

in light of recent events (Dovi praising Marc on live TV) I wanna share even MORE jealous!Vale thoughts my ill brain created

In my mind their reconciliation happened during Vale's last year on the grid, but it begun after Marc's injury in 2020

Vale obviously knows that during their break up Marc had others, he even knows who more or less (he got tired after the like tenth guy he named) but the name which remained more sour in his mind was Dovi's

It was another Italian guy, one who shared the grid with them and which never actually distanced himself completely from Marc, always luring in the shadows ready to console Marc if he had a bad race and Vale couldn't sneak to his motorhome fast enough to be the first to talk to his boy.

Marc doesn't even realise that Vale is NOT happy with his closeness with Dovi because he just sees it as that rn, not as anything remotely romantic or sexual anymore.

But when he finds out OH MY GOD is he bratty about it.

He runs to Dovi first thing after the end of the race, long face and practically throws himself in his arms for a hug, and he knows Vale saw that, he can feel his piercing blue eyes burning a hole in his head and killing Dovi with a stare.

After returning to his motorhome Marc practically rushes to the bedroom, making sure he's got lube ready near the bed, takes off his racing gear and puts on an ols crumpled shirt Dovi had left at his sometime ago, with a fading print designed to look like a 04 on front.

He waits the usual 10 minutes they give each other before Vale comes to him, and those minutes are extremely long for Marc, he's now set on pushing as many buttons as he can to get Vale to fuck him so good he forgets about the race.

When the inner timer ticks 10 minutes Vale is inside the room, wearing one of his ridiculously oversized hoodies, and when he turns he finds an innocent acting Marc, sat on the bed, smiling in his usual warm way.

Vale tries not to act out with Marc because he knows it's just from his POV that the relationship between Marc and Dovi is something to be jealous of, but when he goes to kiss him and sees the tshirt... Oh may God have mercy on Marc's soul

He freezes, stares at the tshirt and then at Marc, who still is sat on the bed, and looks up to him with the most innocent eyes ever and asks what's wrong. and then Vale obviously asks who's tshirt is that and Marc goes "Oh yeah this was Dovi's but he gave it to me last year it's just so comfortable I can swim inside it look" and he is starting to show it to Vale which finally has enough of that bullshit and just grabs Marc's wrists and without saying a word takes off his tshirt, leaving him in boxers for three seconds and then proceeding to dress him with his hoodie, ending up being shirtless

"There, this is more comfortable and doesn't belong to that fucker. I don't want you to go around smelling like him, I want you to wear MY things got it? you are not his or whoever else's you fucked with last years, you're mine and I'm not letting you wear his fucking merch"

Marc is completely red, he loves this side of Vale, it shows he truly cares, and he finds it extremely hot. "Maybe just to be sure he or anyone else gets ideas I'm gonna mark you up, what do you say mh? Would you like that Marc? I'm gonna leave hickeys everywhere on your body, I want them to get that you're mine and they don't get to have you like I do"

At that point Marc is hard as hell and they end up fucking in his motorhome, trying to be as quieto as possible but doing a terrible job at it.

the next morning Marc posts a pic of him with an oversized hoodie which lets his neck visible, full of bites and hickeys, the post description being something like "I know with who I belong"

oh yeah mhm mhm

marc with dovi's merch to piss off vale that's a+. i thinking after that stunt vale would make marc throw away all the merch of dovi he kepts and he would replace it with his. like my number is the only one that you will wear.

#motogp #marc marquez #valentino rossi #andrea dovizioso #dovquez #rosquez #asks

[prentissluvr]

HI MARI !!

IM HERE WITH MY DEAN THOUGHTS!! (mostly platonic)

when you become friends/best friends, he’s ride or die for you

not on the same level of sammy but it’s a close second

the playful banter between the two of you is just great

although he knows that he can be annoying and uses it to his advantage

flirting with you to annoy his brother (he knows that sammy is in love with you and does it to get on his nerves)

PET NAMES!

has a reserved nickname for you but does pull out the pet names if you’re having a bad day

speaking of bad days/sick days

he will go out of his way to take care of you

pulls out all of the stops for his bestie

this is when you realize this man is a secret softy at heart (refuses to admit it, because he’s a “big bad hunter”)

platonic cuddles/casual physical affection

dean is reserved with physical affection (im thinking post hell! dean) (earlier szns dean wouldn’t hold back tbh)

but once he’s comfortable with you (and is sure that you won’t leave him or sammy)

then it’s a free for all

swinging his arm over your shoulder, sharing a bed if there’s only two beds (sam seethes sometimes but this is way before you guys get together lol), resting his head in your lap during movie nights (starts off as a joke wanting to annoy you but then does it almost everytime you guys have one, loves when his hair is getting played with)

there’s def more but ill cut it off here (i love bestie dean but im also in love with him LOL) (the winchester brothers have a GRIP on me)

HELLO DAISYYYY HEHEHEHE this is amazing i'm so obsessed <33

cw : mentions of injuries, pet names obviously , dean is annoying ofc <3, sammy and reader like each other, swearing probably, alcohol mention, unedited! wc : 1.5K

⟢ ride or die : i mean yeah, this is pretty much undeniable. sure, sam will always be his first priority, but the moment he knows that you're a part of the team, no doubts, he's prepared to do just about anything for you. both fortunately and unfortunately, this does mean he gets really protective of you similarly to how he is with sam, especially if you're younger than him. and even if you're not, the fact that you're his best friend makes you family, and we know how dean feels about family <3

⟢ playful banter : this is basically just your whole friendship with him HAHA. not truly, of course, but mostly heh. like idk what else to say, he'll take any opportunity to tease you or make you fake angry because he just thinks it's too funny. and he'll love whatever way you respond to that. he definitely enjoys if you return his fire with your own teasing and retorts and i personally think you are so allowed to be mean to him because he's an idiot!! obviously don't be actually mean, but he enjoys having a teasing relationship where you can call each other stupid and know that the other means it with love lol.

when the two of you get into it, sam gets so annoyed. like you'll be arguing about the value of mustard on sandwiches and both of you are so invested in winning the argument and sam is like oh my god, dean please focus on the road and shut up, both of you😭😭 the boy is trying to sleep, he doesn't need this right now. so you either keep arguing in hushed tones (which doesn't last for long) or you pick it back up at another time (that's also probably inconvenient and annoying to sam still HA).

and yeah, dean can be very annoying and he loves to rile you up LOL. it's great when you reciprocate his banter, but sometimes he's just so ridiculous that it has you rolling your eyes and groaning in frustration. and unfortunately for you, that, or any other dramatic response, is exactly what dean is trying to get out of you. "dean, will you shut up?" is one of his favorites. he just laughs at you, he thinks the way you say it is so funny and cute.

he does other annoying things too, like rest his elbow on your head or shoulder if it reaches, he doesn't care if you're his same height, barely shorter, or significantly shorter, he's gonna make fun of your height. and if you're taller, yeah he's still gonna make fun of that, too. he'll playfully put his hand on the top of your head, just for the pure intention of annoying you. idk basically anything that annoys you, he does it (usually without going overboard, he knows where to draw the line).

and yeah, the flirting is more about annoying sam, but it's a total plus when you give him that look saying, "really, are you kidding me?" he'll love a good banter on that end of the spectrum too, if you're down for flirting back. unfortunately, this sends sam the wrong message for the longest time, but it's not your fault that you don't know that he likes you back! you're just playing around with dean heh.

⟢ pet names/nicknames : yes yes yes!! he absolutely has a nickname that is specific to you!! basically your version of "sammy." it might be a nickname based off of your given name, but it totally could be an inside joke, something silly and cute. it might even be a pet name that he uses for you exclusively. i can see him calling a younger best friend "pumpkin," mostly as another method of annoying you. that one is used pretty sparingly though because it's a little over the top for the both of you. he definitely uses it a lot less than whatever his main nickname for you is, which he uses just about all the time lol. if you have a nickname based off you name, sam probably uses that, too. so, dean likes having a separate nickname that he came up with which only he uses.

and yes! he does use pet names casually and occasionally, but he's far more likely to use them if you're having a bad day, if you were injured on a hunt, or something like that! i think maybe this is just because i'm obsessed with the time that dean called lisa honey once, but i think the idea of dean calling his best friend honey is really adorable. that one is used for maximum comfort, especially if you're injured <3 "c'mon, honey. keep your eyes open, you're okay." i can also see dean using baby platonically sometimes!

he does occasionally use over the top names like sugar plum or honey bunches to annoy you lol. he will "sweetheart" you in a teasing way because he loves the way it makes you fume LOL. but in special circumstances, he'll call you sweetheart sincerely (also more likely when you're injured—"you're alright, sweetheart, we're almost to the motel"). idk if this counts as a pet name, but he'll definitely call you kid and kiddo if you're younger than him like how he does with charlie <3 i see him using darlin' very casually! "alright, c'mon darlin', let's see what sammy found." casual pet names means he's in a good mood though. he also will use insults like pet names because you're his idiot best friend <33

he won't tell you this but he likes if you've got a nickname for him, too! but he will tease you if you try to use the same pet names for him, even if you're casual about it in the same way he is.

⟢ taking care of you on bad/sick days : uhm yeah, he tries not to be obvious about it, but when he goes the the store just to pick up your favorite treat or kisses your forehead like fifty billion times when he thinks you're asleep, there's no way you can miss what a big softie he is. if the way you wear your hair allows, he'll brush any stray strands out of your face, especially if you're sick and it's stuck to your face with with sweat. checks your temperature on your forehead with his hand <3 then if he thinks you have a fever, he busts out the thermometer and takes your temp that way just to make sure you don't have to go to the hospital. he brings you your meds and lovingly bothers you about eating enough food. makes you watch movies with him lol

on days that are simply just bad, well, he's horrible with emotions, but he knows that pie and alcohol can fix almost anything (this is not true, but it still helps you to have a treat and a drinking buddy). while he's bad with emotions, he is absolutely more than willing to listen to anything you need to talk about. he's not sure how to tell you that he's there for you out loud, so he'll pour you another drink if you're not too drunk and rub your back with a soft, but firm hand. his go to phrase to comfort you is, "we'll figure it out," and it works because you know he really means it, and he says it in a soft and sweet tone that's quite rare for him.

⟢ physical affection : he can definitely be more reserved sometimes with touch, but he welcomes any physical affection that you initiate. if you purposefully stand shoulder to shoulder, he'll put his arm around you, and he'll certainly accept any hugs you have to offer. like you said, once he's even more comfortable and confident in your being around, he's much more open about swinging an arm around your shoulder and any given moment (especially because he can shove you around a little that way lmao).

he's definitely okay with the bed sharing, mostly because it's a necessity, though he tries to get you to share with sam much more once he realizes that you like each other because he can see sam physically become upset when you share with dean lmao.

movie nights are prime time for physical affection with dean!! i definitely agree that he puts his head in your lap first to annoy you, but when you don't bat an eye and start running your fingers through his hair, he's done for. he always is trying to get you to do it again, every time you watch something together, and that's when it gets annoying lmao, because he won't let you rest your head on his shoulder anymore or let you be the one to put you head in his lap. he'll make an exception if you're having a bad though hah. once again, he will dial down the cuddles if he can tell that it's bothering sam, but will absolutely not give up the physical affection with you because he thinks sam needs to get over it LOL. because, at the end of the day!! you'll always be his best friend, and he will always respect you and your relationship with sammy.

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x sibling!reader #dean winchester x sister!reader #dean winchester x gn!reader #dean winchester platonic #dean winchester x y/n #supernatural platonic fic #supernatural x reader #dean winchester x platonic!reader #dean winchester x best friend!reader #dean winchester #dean supernatural #. >> asks ! #. >> mooties ౨ৎ ! #. >> daisy ౨ৎ ! #. >> dean ♥︎ ! #. >> spn !

[just-late-roman-republic-things]

CW for historically-typical violence.

The Roman Republic practiced total military conscription, the dilectus. Everyone fought, and even those who did not go on to further service as part of their political careers would serve several years.

Ancient warfare was brutal at every level. “Foraging”, as a military term, means the wholesale theft and violent extraction of all available grain and food nearby. This usually involved sexual assault of peasants as well as kidnapping them into slavery. Even in friendly territory, towns and cities were willing to spend massive amounts of money to keep armies from being billeted in them (Cic. Ad Att. 5.21, Plut. Luc. 29.8). After foraging, Romans would then fight in battle, and sometimes afterwards explicitly ordered to carry out genocidal and mass-punishment actions of slaughter and torture.

My question is: This seems like a recipe for massive, society-wide PTSD. Is that supported by our sources?

I haven't looked into the sources for the evidence. So this is just my best guess:

War-related trauma was probably extremely common for all the reasons you describe. Some researchers argue that the traumatic impact of inflicting violence varies by culture - e.g. if it's socially acceptable to kill outsiders, you probably won't feel very traumatized by killing an outsider. The Romans weren't raised with ideals like equality, peace, and multiculturalism, ideals which often make modern soldiers horrified when they have to kill. But that's only one part of all the trauma war creates, and we have records of ancient Assyrian soldiers struggling to reacclimate to civilian life, so I suspect some Roman soldiers encountered that, too. Generational trauma would also continue to impact populations for decades after a war ended.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a 20th century concept, previously called "shell shock" to describe soldiers in World War I who became too emotionally paralyzed or overwhelmed to fight. Like all disorders, it contrasts with what we've defined as "healthy." Would the Romans have thought it unhealthy to be on guard for violence every time you left your house (hypervigilance), or just good sense in a dangerous world? Would they think it mentally unhealthy for a girl to hate sex after she was enslaved and raped, or perfectly logical?

Conversely, they might be harsher on some things than we are: a veteran who startles and hides under his desk whenever he hears a loud noise might be seen as a coward rather than a man having flashbacks. It might be seen as a character flaw rather than a symptom of illness. The girl who was raped might be expected to get over it because she's married now, and if she doesn't have kids, who will care for her when she's old?

Forgive me if this sounds like I'm quibbling over definitions. I suspect the widespread trauma you imagine was very real, but that cultures have different ways of conceptualizing it, and different ideas of what "healthy" and "unhealthy" behaviors are. It's one of several reasons why we can't diagnose historical figures with mental disorders.

Mark Antony would've probably been offended by Adrian Goldsworthy's suggestion that he was suffering from something as "weak" as PTSD after Parthia. He'd much rather be called an asshole!

(Anyone who knows more about this topic, feel free to chime in!)

#trauma #psychology #rape cw #genocide cw #torture cw #just roman asks

[wild-at-mind]

I’ve been thinking about the reason I feel so weird about people on tumblr who aren’t living in the UK making jokes about how great it would be if the UK split up and abandoned England (where I live) and made the great Celtic aliance and whatnot....like, I acknowledge I really have no good social justice approved reasons for feeling weird about this. I’m English in England and I do understand the long history of England oppressing and colonising all the other nations. This isn’t in question. I’m sure it would be better for all the other nations if they left England, and if there was a way it could be done very easily and quickly for everyone, then I’d say do it in a heartbeat. It feels really daft of me to be like thinking about actual logistics because of a fucking joke post which no one really needs, but I always do for some reason and it’s just so stressful to think about. The UK is fucking falling apart right now, it can’t manage anything. Our last Prime Minister lasted 49 days. No one has been elected as PM for like a decade, they all just take over from the last failure in this fucking endless conservative government. It feels never ending. I feel like it was also really easy for people outside the UK to judge Brexit as a terrible idea, but from the inside it was never that simple. It was a really bad idea for sure, and it caused this massive influx of xenophobia, but while it was going on it was all so complicated and there was so much shit on both sides. You would think it would be easy to say like ‘I don’t want to be on the side of xenophobia so I’m anti-Brexit’, but then you would get accused of being in an ivory tower and not affected by the employment issues concerned caused by EU workers or w/e. Someone would write a thinkpiece calling you classist or something, using the exact same emotive language people deploy all the time on here for their good causes. It’s not so easy to be like ‘ok this is good emotive language making me think the right thing, and this is bad emotive language making me think the wrong thing’. In reality, of course, it was never a case of just working class people wanting Brexit and just middle class people wanting remain, that was more fucking propaganda and it was sooooo much more complicated than that. I hope this is starting to get across the problem a bit. A few people were even arguing that Brexit was good because more workers of colour could come into the country if we stopped having so many white EU workers so Brexit could actually be anti-racist. (As if the current government would willingly do anything like that...lol.) What I’m trying to say is it split the country in so many ways, it was a really ugly time. I have heard similar things from people living in Scotland about the last push for Scottish Independance. Whether you were pro or anti, it got ugly and caused massive painful rifts. Now, i do think at some point Scotland will gain independance and I will cheer them on. But it won’t be an easy split, because they never are. The other thing I think gets glossed over is that we aren’t a very big country, of course there’s a lot of movement, many people in England have very recent roots in Scotland, Wales and/or NI. When you make it more distant roots, then it’s a vast percentage. And it’s worth noting that identifying as English specifically, if you live in England, has some connotations of racism and xenophobia against immigrants. (England for the English, that kind of fucked up thing.) People who do not want those connotations who live in England will tend to use the term British to self describe. I don’t know what it means to be ‘English’, specifically, without racism coming into the frame pretty quickly. I think that’s why these posts also read a bit as if annexing England will free the other nations from racism, whether or not that was the intention.

#uk politics #english politics #politics #this post was probably a bad idea i know #i'm being 100% sincere in it if that helps it's not irony poisoned #i think it may be something to do with the fact that it's always weird when people who don't live where you live talk about it #i remember in 2011 during the protests in egypt my housemate who was anglo-egyptian and had lived there for several years #was really bothered by the press coverage and i think this was part of the reason why #because he often couldn't really identify what was bothering him other than the focus on brits leaving (v fair) #but it wasn't just that i think it was also the way Egypt's politics were talked about from an outside perspective #obviously i;m not saying the UK is like Egypt! #in any way other than this specific thing #americans also quite rightly hate the way other nations use them as the butt of a joke about the country being regressive #like there aren't real people there who are living it #it makes me cringe tbh i hate that brits and other nations are so obsessed with the 'lol Americans!' jokes #so there you go that's my ill thought out post

[feelo-fick]

I WANT ENDLESS BLISS!!!

HALF-AWAKE, HALF-DEAD, HALF-LIFE CRISIS

ALL NATURAL POMEGRANATE PULP.

FERMENTED TO PERFECTION, SAVOUR YOUR SAVIOR.

Q: What's your favourite food? A: THE ALE THEY SERVE AT THE TAVERN!

other versions : )

#uhhhh happy pride month have a fucked up chilchuck that im really proud of #i took so long on that hair rendering just so i could cover it up with the stars... #this was a reaaaally experimental one #if i had another go at this id change a lot of things but sometimes you gotta know when to stop #ive learned my lesson from this one so ill do another one with my knowledge now ykyk #ive discovered i reaaaallly reaaaaaally like thin lines #still figuring out how rendering + painting works but hey it was a nice attempt!! #this is my first finished peice in a looongggg loooooongggg time and it makes me really happy how well it came out #i guess switching things up really helped with things.. i usually get stuck at flat colors because i get so bored #cw alcohol #cw alcoholism #eyestrain #<- maybe? its really saturated #chilchuck #chilchuck tims #dungeon meshi #by the way i always thought him saying “ale” as an answer to “favourite food” was odd #maybe its a translation thing where theres a japanese wprd that covers both food and drink and the translator just estimated it to “food”? #cause if its not... sir??? chilchuck thats not a food... my man... you have a problem... #this is #[ tragedy au ] #but honestly you could take it as set in canon #by the way do you like my little poem : ) im pspspsps-ing at the dungeon meshi fandom/fandom in general to write more poetry/short lit #maybe ill tweek it and post the poem on ao3.... shrug !

[toldentops]

talk about kinoga. NOW.

GAH I JUST THINK THEY ARE SO............. well first of all. they are so cute and handsome. look at them right now

Second of all I have one million feelings about them and it's barely an exaggeration. For those who aren't familiar, Kinoga is one of my beloved splatoon ocs and I think about them all the time. Originally made when I tossed a "what-if" idea about Trito, my first splatoon oc, who was once part of the octarian military, if he runs into one of the old squad members on the surface, and Kinoga was born with the help of @igneouskit. Brainworms ensue. its terminal. check out their toyhouse

(extremely brief rundown for those unfamiliar with splatoon lore the relevant bits are as follows: some octolings are part of a military that were forced underground after a war with the Inklings over land due to rising seas. At some point during the plot, the song Calamari Inkantation is sung by the two idols, which is apparently imbued in the DNA of all creatures and compels octolings to see the surface. In the splatoon 2 DLC, octo expansion, some octolings are recruited by a shady company called Kamabo Co, which entices participants to enroll in tests through a deep sea metro, and offers the "promised land" as a reward. Completing the tests entails collecting parts of a blender, and the "reward" is getting blended into sludge. This sludge can get injected into other octos which causes them to lose their will and consciousness ("sanitization").

timeline-wise much of their story takes place between splat 2, through octo expansion, and is currently in the splat 3 era. When they were still in the military, they ended up hearing the Calamari Inkantation like Agent 8 did. Kinoga and their squad were incredibly close to each other. Unwilling to just up and leave the underground but wanting to give their squadmates a better life, Kinoga hears about Kamabo's "promised land" and wants to seek it out, so they leave the squad to embark on the metros and promises to return. They do not <3 Some of the tests make them encounter sanitized octolings and they begin to question what's really happening in the metros. Their tipping point is when they run into Agara, one of their squadmates that decided to enter the metros to look for Kinoga and ends up being sanitized. Kinoga, facing the crushing realization that their squadmates had followed them, unaware of the danger, narrowly escapes being killed by Agara and eventually makes it to the surface.

This results in them experiencing a good amount of crushing guilt about leaving, they never knew it would lead to the possibility of dooming their whole squad that followed after them because they were loved and trusted. Kinoga had no way of letting the rest of them know that they should turn back and it's so. AAUGH. They have no choice but to continue on, finding life on the surface and eventually making it to splatsville with the belief that the rest of the squad may be gone. Agara and Trito end up running through the metro, Agara gets sanitized and Trito survives, albeit without getting a nasty scar from an accident that nearly got him sanitized.

Trito makes me insane also. he's my funny silly rabbit. I care about him so so much. trito goes through the metros, to maybe catch up with kinoga or meet them at the promised land, trusting that it was worth leaving if Kinoga decided it was worth it for all of them too.

Trito, upon learning about The Horrors in the metro later, realizes what could have happened to Kinoga and Agara and is unwilling to return to the rest of the squad with this knowledge, struck by the possibility that they're both gone. <-also has to realize that these horrible things have been happening to all the octlings that left to go do the metro tests. He too, eventually escapes to the surface and makes it to Inkopolis.

Years later, Trito, on a day trip to Splatsville, encounters Kinoga on the streets, and they lock eyes. and. fuck. They thought they were dead and had dealt with the grief and accepting that they were gone, effectively pushing those thoughts aside, and now they're physically in front of each other and they have to deal with it again. they make me SICK. Kinoga knowing that trito went to the metros and followed them and made it out also. Trito knowing that Kinoga experienced the horrors as well and survived. Neither of them able to return to tell the rest of the squad but they're both here, alive on the surface and aarrghhhhhhh. now they have to cope with this. they hastily exchange contact information, having to leave each other again, and end up meeting later to really catch up.

I'm so normal about kinoga and their relationship to trito post-domes. They don't even realize that they miss each other so much because they accepted that they were already gone. Seeing how much the other had changed. Being each other's only tie to their previous lives and it dawns on them that they never can move on from this. Kinoga struggles to tell Trito that they couldn't bring themselves to go back, not knowing if they could escape a second time, not knowing if any of their teammates were still left, already dealing with occasional spurts of being wracked by grief. Trito feeling the same, wanting to forget the terrible things and find happiness on the surface, but disheartened when learning that Kinoga also couldn't bring themselves to go back to look (though now that the both of them are together.....they do eventually muster the courage to go back to the domes to look for their old squadmates). It like. sucks so bad. They didn't intend to abandon their squad, but they were given circumstances where they just could not, and none of the other squad members could have known and suffer for it. aarghhhhh.

They end up at Trito's place, Kinoga and Trito end up being very affectionate towards each other after reuniting, definitely Trito being clingier...Compelled to hold onto each other and not let go, not after feeling so much regret about leaving in the first place. It's like. they left once before and terrible things happened out of their control, so they're allowed to hold each other as close as they can so it doesn't happen again (THE DEMONS) (GRIPS). it's irrational for Trito especially to think that he'll never see Kinoga again when they have to leave, since they live in separate cities and have to go in the morning. and kinoga knows it's irrational and they do their best to comfort him anyways because. who could blame him for wanting to keep them there after being gone for so long and so unexpectedly. The slow, crushing experience of not fully registering that someone could be gone and it creeps up to them until it hits. auuuuugh. they have to be so tender with each other, not really knowing where to take things afterwards but relishing in the moment of having each other there. riding the high of each other's comfort. fuck. this post is just getting worse as it goes. Trito breaking down in Kinoga's arms because he's had to hold in his grief and having nowhere to put it and then finally being able to release it. just being able to feel Something again. kinoga feeling so heartbroken to see trito like this, remembering that he was always so outspoken and smiling and having him curled up against them unable to say anything. holding him as tightly as they can. Feeling the need to take good care of him. They aren't his squad leader anymore but they still feel compelled to look out for him because then they can feel like they're doing at least something right. whatever. you guys get the gist. I'm way too much of a sucker for like...............pained intimacy. I'm down terrible. I think both of them deserve a little kissy and more. again. very touchy and affectionate with each other, I guess theyre still like "friends" (A WARRIOR'S BOND. OR WHATEVER) and are not "together" like a couple but here are words from igneouskit who put it better then I could ever. they love each other so much and they make me blow up. worlds most situationship

and also one bit I forgot to mention is that Trito has a huge scar on his chest that he hates talking about, it just brings back the fear and pain felt when he got it, and by association reminds him that he's alone from his squad who may never see again, so he's very protective of it. Upon getting back to kinoga, they do find out about the scar accidentally, and Trito lets them. like auuuugh they were so familiar with each other and now get to see what's changed since the last time. exploring eachother's bodies. whatever

Kinoga also ends up feeling really guilty at some point for Trito being immediately so affectionate towards them, they harbor thoughts that they don’t deserve it after having him go through that pain, and trito having to tell them that he made his own decision, nobody was forcing him to go, and besides, did it to see kinoga and now that they’re right in front of him he can give him all the love he’s been holding for them. Auuughhhh. Like don’t worry about feeling guilty for it. It wasn’t their fault. What matters to him now is that they’re both alive and with each other. I feel like blowing up

Even after Kinoga goes back to splatsville the next day trito is still aches about them......like a few days of reunion could never be enough to compensate for the years that they spent apart. every time they meet up after that trito jumps in kinoga's arms and kiss them like it was the first time they'd reunited

anyways. they eventually go back down to the domes to find the others. By that time, Agent 8 had dismantled Kamabo, the Sludge shit was no longer in operation, and octolings have started going to the surface. Kanu, another squad member, left the domes to find Kinoga, Agara, and Trito(jilon was another squad member who left for reasons I haven't decided yet). Denchu, the last remaining member, stayed behind, holding on to the hope that the missing members would someday return (denchu is a whole other can of worms. theyre everything to me and I feel so terrible for them <3). Trito and kinoga meet denchu, they update them on everybody else, leaving agara unaccounted for. Kinoga, who was the only one to see Agara firsthand, knowing that she might be completely unsalvageable, hesitates to bring it up, but Trito insists on going to look for her. aughhh. kinoga wants to spare trito the pain of seeing her dead or unconscious. They do eventually find her </3

She is alive, but not doing well at all, Kinoga desperate to maybe find some way to undo sanitization and restore her to full health, knowing full well that it may not be possible. They take Agara back with them to the surface and Kinoga spends a lot of time agonizing again over having caused this, feeling that agara's state is somehow their fault (ITS NOTT they're beating themselves up so bad for this because they feel responsible for the squad. aughhh).

I think thats all I have for kinoga. for now. obviously there are more thoughts I can get into but currently my brain has just latched so hard on trito and kinoga's fun situation and I love them so much. didn't think I'd get attached to them this bad but here we are </3. I hope everyone who has read this far also enjoys them as much as I do

#THIS TOOK FOREVER TO TYPE. KEPT GGETTING SELF CONSCIOUS ABT HOW MUCH IVE ALREADY TYPED FOR THEM IN OTHER POSTS #my ocs #my art #trito #kinoga #splatoon #splatoon ocs #THEYRE SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #I have been so crazy about them. so crazy. this post doesnt even encapsulate all my thoughts about them #basic arc(?) in chronological order and some thoughts also #cant even describe the like. aching. burning. thinking about kinoga #like I need to kiss them of course but (AGONIES) trito misses them so so much. #loves them so so much and has to deal with it when it floods him all at once during the first encounter #sorry if none of this is like. comprehensible #I've been so ill about them and trito for weeks #these thoguhts are usually for rotating them in discord servers but you all get to get blasted by them all at once #STRUGGLED so bad to write this out because every time I had a new thought I had to go lie down and think about it #anyways. anyways. care about them so much. what ever #its still mostly about trito since he's like my 'main' character but kinoga still gets roped into these feelins #also joked that if trito ever gets a partner itll be like #'this is my partner' #'and this is my friend kinoga who id die for and trust with my life and kiss on the mouth' #more realistically trito just loves all his friends as closely as he would a partner. he has so much love in his heart #blows up I just reread this I think I used ‘crushing’ as an adjective like 4 times. whatever

[neednolighttoshine]

For 2,5 years he’s been shunned, holed up, depressed and suicidal. I’m not delusional, if the allegations are true he’s the cause of the same pain and suffering among the women accusing him. All I’m saying is and eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.

I will never forgive people who intentionally set out to destroy other peoples lives. I’ve seen several people on here, on Twitter and on TikTok already who’s come forward and apologised for lying about being SA’d by Lucas. It makes me sick to my stomach that people will go out of their way to ruin a person like that.

My heart broke while watching the documentary. Seeing him so broken, honest and raw brought out my own buried emotions and made me face them. I’m glad to see him working through it with the help of friends, family and members. And I’m so, so relieved that he’s able to look forwards.

Life is now. You’ll face setbacks, tragedies, grief and sorrows - but you’ll also be faced with joy, happiness, love, inspiration and warmth. Try to enjoy the bright bits of life, and don’t watch as it passes you by.

#lucas #lucas wong #huang xuxi #wong yukhei #nct #wayv #my thoughts are so scattered i don’t even know where this post is going #im really happy to see him and to hear him talk again #i dont even know what to say #im just happy #and sad at the same time #ill see you out there lumis #side note he looks very fine #a post of mine

[skitskatdacat63]

For everyone who wanted bullfighter Nando when I mentioned it the other day, here you go :D

+ this one I don't feel like coloring yet(imagine he's in Ferrari colors!!!)

#did you know bullfighters dedicate their kill to a friend or member of the public by giving them their hat? #i really wanted to draw silly vettonso where fernando offers seb his hat #seb retires from bullfighting(yeah its an au now) and fernando in his green costume is like; #'here is my hat. now will you come back from retirement? 🥺' #but yeah feel very abnormal abt that ^ and also the thing abt them having someone who helps them get into their costume as a sacred ritual #theres just a lot of thoughts and ideas floating around in my head bcs of it #anyways i liked drawing this but it was very suffering too and took me like 5 hours #its like. you see the intricate embroidery and im like ah! omg! i love painting details!!! #and then remember im not the best w coming up with ideas for the embroidery pattern itself #so pls bear with me 😭😭 mainly i was trying to reference the diamond logo of renault #but most of it kinda just ended up being austrian knots i guess bcs thats what my mind defaults to #i thought the shoulder pad would be the most difficult but that came together the easiest and made the rest actually work in my head #aaahhh also im surprised w the angle of his face! im usually not good at side profiles as well as tilted down heads #but i think he looks pretty good honestly??? #also w the sketch i just wanted to post it bcs i liked his face okay 😭😭😭 #i wanted to paint it too but I realized im so naive thinking i could paint two of these horrifically detailed things in one session #but his face 🥹🥹 i like it!!! theres some renault era pic of him i really like where hes sun drenched and angry looking #^ and i think i captured the vibe well so!!!!! #well anyways mayhe ill draw more of this. it was fun but also like sucked my life force out bcs it kept going from easy to 'I CANT DO THIS' #the pictures of matadors are just...insane to me. tiny waist fat ass flamboyant costume. im dead 🫠 #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #catie.art. #fa14 #matador au

[good-beansdraws]

Very silly sequel to my other Fuuta/Mikoto duet art -- it turns out both VAs were in this singing group anime together! (I haven't seen any other Milgram vas overlap songs, and now I've found two for them, huh...) I cut the songs together to make a fun little duet, but the individual versions are here: 🔥 ⚾

The outfits are courtesy of @clover0101 's au here :D

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #mikoto kayano #i hope you dont mind the tag but ahh i thought the designs were so cute :'))) #if anyone knows of any other overlapped songs lmk 👀 #i want to edit monopoisoner like this where they go back and forth (since the version i like has them both singing simultaneously) #but that requires some pitch editing and it was taking me too long to figure out #this was super quick but ill sit down and figure that one out sometime lol #they both have such pretty voices ;---; #i cant remember if putting links in a post actually hides it still or not but eh its fine #reblog my post boy #just something silly and fun while i try to remember how to draw adfsd #i feel like my art suddenly got worse so im trying to sneak in fun things here and there before i tackle my other #wips/beancret santa stuff...

[hayakawapartner]

aki with a s/o with chronic pain . . .

!!! this post is sfw, but minors/ageless blogs dni with this post/blog !!!

notes: gn!disabled!reader, this is self indulgent i tried to make this fitting for more general chronic pain! reader might come across as ehlers danlos-coded (is that a thing?? weird thing for me to type)

aki is already so sweet and caring with you, of course he would be helpful when your chronic pain flares up.

he notices that you’re moving a bit slower, taking shorter steps, taking a longer time to get up from your seat… and he’s immediately there to help

VERY quick to ask what you need, but he also tries to offer your usual solutions

“where does it hurt? do you need a heating pad? painkillers? tiger balm? do you want me to run a warm bath?”

if you have fluctuating mobility/occasionally use a mobility aid, he does his best to keep everything in a convenient spot for you. crutches near the bed so you can slide your arms in and get up with a bit more ease, rollator in a place where you don’t trip but it’s easy to access…

he was initially Overly Careful with you so he didn’t aggravate your pain further, but as he grows used to your needs, he’s still careful but he’s not scared of breaking you like he used to be

kisses the back of your neck while gently massaging your sore joints/muscles, murmuring soft “i love you”s and “you’re gonna be okay”s while he’s rubbing tiger balm onto your sorest spots

if he hears your joints pop he gets really nervous until you specify if it was a good/bad pop

if a spot is too sore, he won’t touch it in case he hurts you even more.

and if you just Can’t get out of bed for the day? he calls off from work to take care of you. brings you comfort food, helps you to the bathroom when you need it, makes sure you’re hydrated and taking your meds…

SPEAKING OF MEDS. this man is so good at reminding you

“did you forget to take your meds? maybe you should take them now, love. it’ll help you feel less sore.”

he’s very careful to make sure he doesn’t shame you for forgetting meds, for needing help, for being in pain. he just does whatever he can to make sure you’re okay and empathises with your complaints about your aches.

while he hates seeing you in pain during a flare-up, he becomes extra doting just to make sure your needs are met. cooks your fav comfort meal, makes sure all your pillows are soft and arranged to keep you comfy, refills your water bottle whenever it’s almost empty, etc.

he’s just so loving… aaauuuu

#aki hayakawa #aki hayakawa x reader #disabled reader #op #ive been having a lot of flareups due to the weather recently :’) rain my fucking beloathed #so this thought has been massively comforting to me #this was written 99% for self indulgence so it is based on my own personal experiences #but i tried to make it a lil broader and include things i dont use so others can enjoy :-) #i use forearm crutches sometimes + cant take many painkillers so tiger balm is my bestest friend #btw just a tip. if you cant afford tiger balm? get coralite from the dollar store! same pain relief (i use the patches) #akiiii please help me put pain patches on my back and tell me its going to be okay…… cries and cries and CRIES #maybe ill make an eds-specific version for even more self indulgence #also i wanted to include aki carrying you since i like tht for me but idk if others like tht when it comes to chronic pain so. left tht out #i might write more disabled/disabled-coded reader stuff later #this was just me being sore at 1am and throwing my thoughts out #or maybe ill write more aki things since i like him very much #going to post this and sleep. GOODNIGHT HAYAKAWA NATION 💪 #imagine

[m00ngbin]

Take some Teru concepts I made while I finish up the last few things I'm drawing!!!

I'm so sorry they're taking so long I have had a really long week 😭

Go read The Forgotten Son pretty pretty please :3 it's by @teruthecreator on ao3 and it's so good. You'll love it I promise

Oh um this is me editing this, I originally forgot to actually tag him when first I posted this. ANYWAYS HE USES THE SAME NAME ON AO3 AS HE DOES ON HERE

#HOPING AND PRAYING THAT HES AT LEAST A LITTLE RECOGNIZABLE #oh btw i drew the one on the right the most recently so thats the most accurate for how im going to draw him in the future #so the one on the left is how i originally thought his hair looked while i didnt have references #i think i misunderstood what sweeping bangs are #the one on the right is what he ACTUALLY looks like #i had a reference this time #THANK YOU MITCH AND ALSO DYKEYAOI FOR YOUR REFERENCES #even if you (dykeyaoi) had no idea i was using your art as a reference #anyways the bottom/middle one is how i usually draw post canon teru #i just added him for reference bc i wanted to make tfs teru look a little thinner meaner and more tired #i hope i succeeded but idk #tfs #should i tag mp100 bc this is like very specific to the forgotten son #yeag i should probably #mp100 #OH ALSO THE THINGS IN THE TOP LEFT CORNER #those are things i made when i was trying to figure out how i wanted go draw his aura #wanted to* #i settled on a mix of the top and bottom right ones #but that might change depending #im sorry this isnt really anything big but shading and color theory are kicking my ass BUT im almost done #with the biggest thing and im hoping ill be done tomorrow #artbin #just putting that there for categorizing purposes

[todayisafridaynight]

whatever og text i had in mind for this post about ko shibasaki looking like sayama in this movie is completely cancelled on account of utsumi (this character)'s first name being kaoru and i only found this out cause i was looking up her name just to be sure when making this post

like jesus christ i legally have to make this post now

#snap chats #they literally never say her first name in the movie. i think lol LIKE WHEN I FOUND OUT I WAS JUST 'NO FUCKING WAY' #i do have to be tbh and say her face /is/ a little more round than sayama's #and its absolutely predominantly because of how her bangs and wardrobe are so close to sayama's that i think she look like her #BUT I CAAAANT THE WHOLE MOVIE I WAS JUST THINKIN ABOUT SAYAMA... i miss her... #OH RIGHT THE MOVIE THOUGH noooo fuck you this movie was so good it actually made me want to write a summary for it LMAOOO #LIKE I LIKE WRITING SUMMARIES BUT IVE JUST BEEN SO LAZY ABOUT IT WITH THE PAST FEW THINGS IVE SEEN BUT GOD. #ignore the fact i finished this movie two hours ago i was too busy fiddling with a card holder kit but. ill make a post about that next-- #THIS MOVIE THOUGH NOOOOO IT WAS SO GOOD //SCREAMS AND YELLS AND DESTROYS A SNOWGLOBE// #god the part where ishigami and yukawa are walking by the homeless and it just lingers on an empty spot.. LIKE I THOUGHT I WAS WACK #CAUSE I WAS LIKE 'hang on wasnt there a guy there last scene' and obviously there was since the shot lingered right #BUUUUTT WHEN IT WAS REVEALED DOWN THE LINE SHUT UPPP I LITERALLY YELLED IM SO GLAD. my roommates arent home.. #on god i thought the movie was gonna end with utsumi and fukawa's convo from the beginning #and i was gonna make a gaf about how fukawa was acting irrationally because he was too in love LMAOOO #BUT THEN IT KEPT GOING AND. im so glad it did. ishigami valid tbh #id also cover up and take blame for AND ACTUALLY commit murder for a girl if she said hi to me and made me lunch while i was trying to kms #while fukawa and ishigami were talkin that first night tho i just thought of after the rain.. lol... maybe the mangaka was inspo'd by that. #anyway. this movie was great. it reminded me of sherlock but if it was directed well and actually let you solve the mystery too #CAUSE WHILE I WAS WATCHING THERE WERE POINTS WHERE I TOO WAS JUST 'hang on' AND I JUST POCKETED THE INFO FOR LATER #i kicked and screamed when ishigami was talking abut how he formats his tests LIKE I SAID 'oh you fucking slipped' #when ishigami called and told her he had a white envelope in there bitch i knew it was gonna be the stalker letter i YELLED #LIKE I LIKE HOW THE MOVIE SETS THINGS UP SO ABUNDANTLY. IT'S FUN SEEING IT FIT IN THE MOVIE LATER ON #the twist of there being two bodies was so fun tho cause at the start of the movie i was sure two murders happened the same night #so when it was played off as just one i was like Oh. Ok. im still stumped on how he snuck a body out of the apartment #but yk what one detail is like. whatever in comparison to the rest of the movie being fun to watch #god im running out of tags POINT IS. PLEAAASE watch this movie if you got two hours #ive left some minor warnings on my Watchlist doc but there's nothing. TOO extreme ?? #i mean there's an aforementioned suicide attempt but aside from that it's nothing too grotesque. for an rgg fan ig #ok bye i have to ramble about the card holder i got <3

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

"yes im so fine"

*researches whether i can get my hands on ipecac*

#tw ed #obligatory MASSIVE do not do this #straight up poison that can kill you from one (1) time #used to be used to induce vomiting #directly the cause of death of karen carpenter and countless others #i wont i swear i wont #but i still researched it bc i was curious #tbh there are easier ways of poisoing oneself than semi illegal drugs #also if yall remember the post about a poison i own: i did more reseach and while that amount would probably kill me w no medical #intervention; it would take just under three times as much to be absolutely certain of hitting the toxic dose (calculated quantity per kg #of the top end of a given range. so it could kill me but if i was gonna go out that way id want about three times as much to be sure.) #honestly surprised ive never heard of any deaths from it. the most likely way to survive would be to throw it up i think #(or present to hospital and take charcoal or smth) #honestly though. my research says loss of consciousness and required intubation within half an hour in case studies #hence if you werent in reach of medical attention youd probably collapse an die #and i am very deliberately NOT mentioning what it is bc of how toxic it is #ive thought of combining it and another method to be absolutely sure but eh #honestly if it DIDNT work it sounds straight up embarrassing to admit to people tho thats one of the things stopping me #but literally a dose in a child requiring intubation and kid ended up in a coma recovered w no ill effects. #thats the dream yk. try and succeed and youre free; try and fail and you see no ill effects. #but yeah i wouldnt try w only the amount i have. #so im safe #....rereading the above. okay i might be a little mentally ill lol #but i am safe and absolutely nobody call the cops on me. #im fine. #tw suicide #puddleglum hours #nobody worry abt me ok. im fine. #just thinking silly lil thoughts like usual :) #EDIT: just occurred to me that using this poison could make it not look like a suicide

[good-beans]

@gunsli-01 making a separate post so I can ramble a bit but ;_____;

So much of Yuno's discussion is on emotional needs, her wanting warmth and love and something real. But there's a something to be said about her themes in the context of literal, physical life. There's a focus on being young and having fun, which could be seen as simply experiencing life. She mentions not wanting to live too long, likely because she's been fed the expectations that being "old" isn't the same enjoyable living anymore.

But it's all colored with the loneliness you mentioned: she's living and breathing all on her own. She tries to engage in something that will connect her with others -- something that will put air in her lungs and make her heart race -- but it's over quickly and she's left wanting more. She doesn't want to breathe air into others because right now she's the one that needs the life support. She's the one who's missing something, even if she doesn't fully realize it. She asks Es if she's really alive. Yuno my beloved :(

#milgram #yuno kashiki #i was like 'ill make a separate post so i can collect my thoughts' and then didnt write out a single coherent thought #it makes sense to me though and thank you for the tags because now im going crazy over her #i was usually only consider the emotional side of her themes but OUGH this got me #rose posts

[realsorcerershit]

Hey, I'm gonna make a bit of a long post here. It's going to be ramble-y, it's going to be kind of a stream of thought deal, and I don't really know where it's going to end up as I'm writing this. It's personal, and it's something I feel strongly about, and it has to do with my last textpost.

So. The topic of today is:

I Don't Like Talking About Myself Anymore.

And no, this isn't going to be some post where I'm just venting, but moreso analyzing why. I need to get my thoughts out there on this, and I need to...talk about it, really. Just throw it off my chest, into a wild where maybe six people will read it. So let's get into it.

Last night, in a small bit of frustration, I made a post talking about people trying to over-analyze media, and give it an objective rating of it being good or bad, and indirectly using that as some high ground, telling people that they shouldn't like something because it's "objectively bad". If you want to read that, I'll put a link to it below.

Link to post: Fair warning, I use a bit of harsh language. I stand by it, though.

And ever since I posted this, I've been in a lot of thoughts about it. What brought this surge of emotion up? Why do I feel so particularly strongly about it? Why is this a belief I hold close to my heart? And - the answer isn't really simple. Like most emotions people go through, it ends up being a complex weave. So let's start with the absolute basics.

First thing's first. Part of the reason I feel so strongly about this is, that, there's a natural element of attachment to the media that people enjoy, and that includes myself. *I* have some form of attachment to the media I enjoy. FPSes, the dnd campaign I play in every week, the small bits of music and other games that I enjoy, the people I like watching on youtube or even the small amount of shows I enjoy watching. All of it takes up at least somewhat of a portion of my life, and as such, it becomes part of...who I am, in a way. Media sticks with people, it can influence them in various ways.

And now, we live in a world where people end up trying to analyze everything to a point where nobody can just admit that they *dislike* something these days. There always has to be some kind of justification for their dislike, there always has to be some logical, realistic reason for it that makes sense in their head. So, they come up with reasons why. And those reasons can range from a wide variety of things. For example, if I told someone I liked the genre of metal in music, I could get a response along the lines of, "Oh, metal (the genre of music) is too formulaic. Everything's the same, so it's bad. And, the lyrics end up sounding like a kid wrote them", instead of that person just saying "you know, I really do respect your tastes in music, however, I am not a fan of metal, because it simply isn't for me." The latter of these two responses would legitimately tell me, the person speaking, that, hey. I can respect that this isn't for them, and that I can disengage the topic on friendly terms. Not everyone's going to mutually like the exact same things, and that's part of being human. However.

The first response is where things get bad. Because now, suddenly, I feel confronted. I now have to sit there and justify my like for something, in a heated debate that I didn't want to have in the first place, because here I was, pouring my heart out about something I love. And now, that love is being attacked by someone who had no real purpose in it. And it doesn't even come out of a place of malice, most of the time. People are nowadays super trained into thinking that they have to fit into these very specific camps or else like...they'll be laughed at, or whatever.

So, this all leads me back to the topic at the top of this post. I don't like talking about myself anymore. I don't like going off about the hobbies I have. The OCs whose stories I think about every day, my favorite video games or movies or songs or...any of it. Because the default response these days seems to be that, if I'm not talking with someone who likes the things I like, that I'm going to be met with some form of backlash on it. And it hurts. It genuinely really hurts. I hold up something I genuinely love, and I want to talk about it with people. (At least, when people want to hear about it. Don't force things on people, that also isn't right. Something I'm working on myself, too.) I want to share it, and now I'm afraid to, because at the end of it all, I think I'm going to be...harassed, or chastised, or ridiculed, or some other thing, because that happens to be the default now. And now I feel backed into a corner, where I've put myself in some kind of shame box that I'm only now after maybe 15 years starting to slowly work my way out of.

Just respect other people's hobbies, as long as they aren't harmful. That's all I ask.

#sorcerer rambles #long post #final extra thoughts: #I once had someone who I am very good friends with say something along the lines of like #"oh #And in the moment I really didn't know how to respond #I like the gunplay and the world and the gameplay of it all #and if the person who said that reads this #I do not harbor any ill will towards you for that. You apologized and owned up #I'm just using it as an example because it was the first thing that came to mind #but like I was legitimately hurt in the moment #something about it felt like I was being insulted for this thing I like #and I know that this experience isn't going to be universal #but it's important enough to me. To who I am. #I want to love other people's hobbies. I want to take part in other people's joy. #I want to love my own hobbies too. But now I'm just afraid #I'm afraid to talk about it. I'm afraid to even *like* my hobbies at this point #and I need to grow out of it. So talking about it like this is a step. #And it's a step I need to continue taking. Be cringe and be free. #Cringe culture is dead anyways. Fuck that