#so its really rough on my hands

[nordidia]

having a very rough night so raph doodles needed to be made

when in need, mash two interests together

#i love him so muhc ghghgh #and uh please stop sending me asks straight up demanding me to draw more /nm #if u've sent me an ask just regarding art before pls dont feel anxious this is about people actually DEMANDING like im some sort of machine #im absent due to my work/mental health situation going up and down #tmnt will ofc always be special interest but right now its in the back row #theres little time for anything but work and meetings and thinking about work and.. well.. monster hunter escapism egsfkhjhh.. #but yeah i promise im still here #and i want to draw him when i can #but stress is high right now and drawing takes too much wrist stamina to do often now #i hope u understand #sorry if i worded myself badly im very tired and stresed n its ... oh its 5am great. wellp. goodnight skafklgsjdklfnshh #my art #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #nordidia art #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt raph #id in alt text #also one would think my art style is easy on my wrist but #i gorilla grip my pen and when i learned to write as a child i held the pencil jank #and it stuck like that #so its really rough on my hands #sadly

[milkweedman]

Finally making a start on the handspun linen summer blanket (just a big garter stitch rectangle that so far I've only knit out of cotton. The gaps allow free air flow so it adds no additional warmth, but it's still quite heavy and feels like an actual blanket). Of course, still spinning the linen for it. I'm currently on skein #2... definitely will need to spin quite a bit more. I do also have a failed project that used a skein or two of this stuff that I cam unravel though, so that might help.

The little skein is what I just finished up today. Didn't feel like fighting with my wheel to ply a full bobbin--by about 2/3 full it's too heavy to treadle if wetspun, and must be turned by hand. And my wheel's center of gravity was definitely not made with that in mind. Might do exclusively mini skeins of linen in the future, its definitely less annoying.

#spinning #handspun yarn #knitting #flax spinning #linen #knit blanket #summer blanket #flax #my hands are like. already messed up from spinning just that skein really slowly #have been knitting intermittently which messes up the same fingers so im sure that doesnt help #bc its currently pretty rough. ow though

[wlw-cryptid]

as a service butch, there's nothing i'd love more than helping a femme princess with her end-of-day routine. my hands are rough but i'll be gentle, i promise 🧡

sorry for purring and melting under your fingertips

#its really important and special to me to think about a butch. helping me be a princess like that. thank you #like its hard for me on my own n i struggle a lot a lot a lot to ask for help with. beauty things like that. feel like i can only ask for #basic survival necessities . washing my face for me would be so tender and affirming #especially at end of day. having together time like that before bed would be so. mmmphgdhdyhdhv 💞💝💞💝💝💘💗💓💞💘💓💍 #she speaks #asks #anon #anyways. thank you. youre an angel #i think the rough hands would make it even better . i love rough butch hands #but yeah if you pamper me i belong to you forever sorry i don't make the rules

[teamseaslug]

Saw an ad for a girls fight club in my neighborhood. Shaking and sweating this is like my nightmares come true

#i really like fighting + play fighting!! extremely!! #but when i was younger i would do it too rough and accidentally hurt and upset the girls i would do it with #+ always kinda feeling like a guy... i always just feel like im beating women?? which isn't ACTUALLY whats happening but thats always in the #back of my head #so it twists into I Dont Want To Hit Women but i distinctly want to wrestle and punch ALWAYS #and full body fighting with mixed genders is NOT a thing here really #im so tempted but im like. petrified of the idea at the same time. #its on one hand everything i want but i inherently feel bad for wanting it #sydney talking

[angel-archivist]

God the horror genre. Is so many things. 

#AUGHh its so frusterating cuz like i feel like horror has such a potential as a genre to be worked into one that highlights opression #instead of feeding into it and there are def horror movies coming out and that have come out that tackle their themes in a way that works #not to endorse the fear of outsiders or the unknown but instead the fear of what is very well known but often ignored #but like ok so slashers right? I love a good slasher n the genre has so many really good movies but then you get movies like sleepaway camp #which are just. SO entrenched in transmisogynist ideas and queerphobia that its just like. yikes. #and then you have books like dracula and cosmic horror stuff by lovecraft and both the book and that author in speciifc feed into horror as #a genre of hatred where the 'unknown' is whats to be feard and the fear of the unknown too quickly leads into the fear of queerness or #different cultures or races #into bigotry #like i know dracula is big but as someone who read the book and wrote an essay on it. it is so important to acknowledge the copious amounts #of bigotry and misogyny and hatred that stoker wrote into that novel #ITS JUST god i love horror so much but there are just. some films that will never appeal to me cuz i just cant get over the hurdles of #intense hatred #like i could watch all of Halloween because of the amount of ableism like #also to be clear: it was a blind watch my parents are both pastors lol they werent sitting me down to watch slashers in my infancy and ive #only recently started going through and watching a lot of the 'classic' horror films #its fun! ive been having fun most have dated moments but god the first halloween film was rough #still wondering how that kid from middle school who's parents hated gay people and were like conservative catholics were chill with their #like 12 year old son watching a bunch of horror movies #n i couldnt even get my hands on one if i wanted to

[rowavolo]

i am offering you a leaf as both a thank you and a preemptive apology. it's me again and i'm so normal about lucifer obey me /lie

he's the guy ever. hitting him with The Beam. the entire scene where we make a pact with him is…. “i can’t have you lumping me together with everyone else. that won’t do.” going crazy. if you hug him after he says "this is good enough for now" and i'm supposed to be SANE??? he cares so much for his family, he literally broke his core ideals to protect them (technically an hc but i’m correct about it). he notices so much about the people he cares for—he could tell the bottle of golden syrup was empty before levi did without ever touching it himself. his gift was a brooch that "caught our eye." he cried when we had to leave, and- “after you went back to the human world, did you ever think of me? not of my brothers, but me? tell me you did. tell me that i’ve been on your mind since the day you left. i don’t think i could handle it otherwise.” what else can you want in a man!!!! catastrophically unwell. would you believe me if i said this was half the original length of my talk about him because it is.

yearning aside, your vision of the celestial realm is clicking in place in my head like a lego brick, especially the tower design. very interested in the metal caste system you mentioned, and i am also Staring at your s/i’s lore. i’m a sucker for heaven/holy beings turning out to be bad/oppressive. an outcast from heaven finding a safe space in hell? in an arranged marriage on top of that? putting him in the microwave to watch him spin on the dish.

— blue anon (<- for no. particular reason /silly)

omg please PLEASE there is no need to apologise at all, I really enjoyed reading this and i feel like you summarised a lot of what i like about his character too! I feel like his individualism and want to be seen as separate to his brothers is a really integral part of his character, but hes also so intertwined with his role of looking after his brothers (insert some ramble about him being like someone in the parentified eldest daughter role) ANYWAYS im shaking you thank you so much for this big ramble and i would absolutely believe that theres more to this because its just like !! raah i can just feel the vibe and it's just !! im really happy you shared it with me because i liked reading it so much !!

ALSO thank you, i had so much fun working on this sort of original angel-inspired species a few years ago and im glad to be able to reuse some aspects of it in a way that im able to interact with and write about tangibly!!

AND THANK YOU i just vibe SO MUCH with this particular s/i, theres something so special about his vibe, and his arc of slowly realising that maybe the way he grew up wasnt so healthy after all and eventually settling into this space full of other outcasts (and i feel like a lot of the way you see Lucifer is displayed in how he is with my s/i in this particular AU (and the alternative version of it, in which my s/i was another 'brother', but one that fell for michaels manipulation and stayed behind in heaven)).

Like, the whole trope of finding a group that's like... theyre not just like you, but the way that theyre different from the others is compatible with the way that you are. youre playing different songs on the same wavelength. if that makes sense.

just something about my s/i finding that and learning to be at home and happy with it all

#until he realises that his new home is slowly poisoning him anyways :) #general barks #angel tag #asks #GAH sorry if this is a little incoherent ive been having a rough few days but like #i love hearing people infodump so if theres ever anything else you wanna say feel free to let me know! #i havent actually gotten All That Far in the obm games (and i dont really plan to thanks to its inaccessibility) but i just. the. i . #(waves hands about vaguely) #my writing #lore drops #rowavolo #Blue anon

[fulcrvm]

im being so brave about the potential demise of my academic goals :')

#like. generally. there are no bad outcomes of this situation #but as im working on my appeal to remain in the major its just... #actually incredibly disappointing how close i was to being exactly where i wanted to be with my dream major and everything #yes ill be fine if i have to switch majors to illustration or something. ill still be able to build a future and career out of it #doesnt mean that it doesnt hurt. it hurts a lot #its also really rough quoting all the ridiculous and slightly cruel feedback from my prof in my appeal to support my argument #dont like rereading it :/ #but itll be out of my hands soon and then i can rest #then i can rest and draw #i dont mean to keep posting about it!!! but really i have no where else i can talk about it without getting unneeded input from family #or others so. ough. i promise im not wallowing in self-pity because thats not productive #but i gotta get these feelings out somehow #just. dont want advice i dont ask for also #//

[b4kuch1n]

thank you so much for sharing your process/lineart/and just in general. i've been watching your vods on youtube and it's rlly inspiring and satisfying to watch...godspeed!

it's no problem at all! and I'm very glad you enjoy the VODs haha, they're really the best way to see how I go about anything! including the pixel-pushing and repeatedly redrawing the same line lol

#bakuspeeck #ask #tbh Im just always a bit embarrassed by how many hours of absolutely unscripted words said in my voice there are #my art stuff aside. truly how do u guys sit through That #fskjdfhd sometimes u can really tell I don't speak english in real life #tbh even with the video Im wrestling with I do think the streams are good Specifically for the #kinda rough parts. like theyre the most realistic estimation of my actual drawing speed lol #the video just so that it can actually be followed has to be edited. once again I'll try my best. but its a video #you dont get to see me spamming undo and turning the canvas like a pinwheel in a video. ideally #but those are crucial steps. to drawing #its a bit of why I try streaming. Im a staunch believer in being the worst anyone has ever done it #so people can look at me and say wow. theyre doing absolutely kindergarten shit. maybe drawing isnt a miracle art #its just grit and sweat babeyy! annoying and tedious sometimes. but always can be done #holds ur hand. lets draw ok? a whole world awaits us

[asafeplaceforus112]

I use to play hockey like 5 days a week for like 5 years and then quit cold turkey because I needed to focus on uni and also because I got sick of the environment

Anywyas I went to the gym first time ever!!! That was fun!!! I forgot how much I enjoyed the endorphins you get from exercising!

Oh the other hand, my thighs be aching like when I first started playing hockey and oh man that ache, struggle af for us since we're afab

#hockey #exercise #first gym #gym #did osdd #did #osdd #joke #idk #words #i found exercisng really fun though! #turns out i really enjoy it when its on my terms and at my own pace! #which i guess i already knew since i had a whole procedure to get warmed up for the hockey game and stuff #but like #being able to like warm up at your own pace without the worry of “will i be ready in time???” or “i wish i wasnt slower then everyone else” #is like so liberating!!! #plus!! #i really enjoy the treadmill???? like i enjoyed how you could work out walk on it without like the heat and rough roads and stuff #like the ability to walk without it being 27 degrees hot sun with the worry that someone might grab you from their car is very nice #i definitely need like to put a movie on!!! i cant play the games because i want to do consistent heart beat so hands on the thingies #but also staring outside sucked because it felt like id make eye contact with someone at any point #im too chonky to do the down leg things which is sad but thats okay! #i did the leg up machine and kept clanging the stuff and i feel really bad #im used to doing quick back and forth movements so i feel really bad! i just never really needed yo learn how to do slow controlled stuff #it was just more efficient for me to learn strong fast moves but thats not going to work in a gym #omg??? gym contracts are so evil??? #like i knew??? but i didnt KNOW you know??? #i think im going to need to get a pt to learn how to use the gym so im not bad at it + help with what exercising would help me #(i am aiming for weight loss ):) #which isnt great but im at a point where im not the level of squishy i like being

[robocops-a-christ-allegory]

Im still wondering what the deal was with the joke at the start of peacemaker tries hard about people being mad about lore being retconned (and also how anybody mad is a dumb idiot who doesnt understand how comics work). Like the only people I've ever seen talking about Peacemaker's previous stuff being ignored in a negative way besides ME are people who arent actually interested in the character and just wanted to hate the show because they hate James Gunn (and it is very obvious from the way they talked about it that they didnt actually get who Peacemaker was as a character since most of those people were also convinced he was a serious antihero pre-show which like. Yeah ok.)

I dunno. Still convinced it was making up a guy to be mad at and is part of why I was annoyed with this miniseries from the start. Also because of the fucking sexual assault joke Im not ignoring that.

#I am still really pissed off about the casual joke about Peacemaker assaulting people what the fuck was that #am i the only one who saw that what was that #but yeah I dunno sorry complaining about this fucking miniseries again. its kind of interesting to me how rough it is. #Also my friend found out Red Bee is currently in a JSA somewhere so now I am like #CERTAIN DC handed Starks a list of characters to include and that explains everything #WHICH MAKES ALL THE JOKES ABOUT NERDS EVEN MORE ANNOYING TO ME. AND THE COMIC REFERENCES FLEXING. #Like if you just got hired to write a peacemaker comedy book thats fine man you dont have to PRETEND youre like #SUPER INTO COMICS and also constantly talk about how much you hate those #frothing at the mouth peacemaker stans who are so mad about peacemaker's lore being retconned. the hundreds of them. #Is it a angry fanboy georg situation. am I bringing up our numbers here by complaining too much. #ok done now. thanks.

[milkweedman]

Nothing certain in life except the callouses formed by interdisciplinary hand crafts

#very thick guitar callouses on thr fingertips of my left hand #as well one that goes the length of that thumb and forefinger from all the flax spinning ive been doing. was a blister earlier so im glad #side of my right hand has a long weird callous from scraping against the metal teeth of blending board a couple thousand times #plus a few fingertips on the right hand have callouses from fingerpicking #and my palms are pretty calloused though from what im not sure. hand cards maybe #i know i have knitting and writing callouses as well although i think theyve been subsumed into other ones at this point #since those are very small and knitting is the easiest thing on my hands by far #anyway this post brought to you by the fact that my hand feels like its burning bc i was a little too rough with the blending bpard today #that thing can really scrape you up. at least if you use it like an idiot. which i do

[trans-estinien]

Sometimes I feel like doing this with my brain

#its 12 am and i should probably sleep instead of rambling but #man. its rough having your fav blorbo be a fucking terrible person #cause on one hand you have the villain woobifiers and people who just completely ignore major aspects of a character for a fucking ship #and on the other hand you have people who hate you for enjoying a character. and thinking said character is interesting #and yeah yeah i know not everyone will like me and i should just ignore it and keep on doing what i enjoy but. ugh. #and im also constantly worried that ill fuck up and become a villain woobifier myself #and im also constantly worried that when im writing my cannon blorbos ill fuck up and write something super ooc and people will get mad. #i think fandom was a mistake #but i also wouldn'tve met the besties without fandom so? you know. everything's got two sides #this is such a stupid thing to get all upset over but. #unfortunately i am a horrible man enjoyer this has been consistent my entire life. #and people usually dislike people who like your typical tumblr sexyman type character. which is fair most fans are insufferable #veils if you read this far this isnt abt you it's abt someone else. dont want to like start shit so i wont say names #but i saw. a vauge post from someone i thought was cool and i just. i knew it was directed towards the tags i left on their post #and i felt bad so now im having big anxiety over it. its really stupid i know #i am just going to retreat to my corner and hope to creation that im left alone. im just playing dress up with the blorbos #and like. they're entirely allowed to have their opinion im just. brain is convinced everyone hates me now for no fucking reason. #i gotta. work on this but idk how. therapy fucking failed cause i forgot about it 💀 #but. i should sleep. its past 9pm so my brain is not to be trusted. #ok fuck it ill just say it i feel guilty that Emet-Selch is not only my favorite character but also my comfort character. #im not going to stop liking him because that wouldn't be fun. plus others opinions dont really matter i can like whatever characters i want

[southerngothicaf]

Ohh no.

#ignore #clownery ahead #i may be fucked. this concert and this whole trip has like solidified my feelings for my best friend. #like before they were like there and i knew and it was def growing bc of living together and stuff #but i was getting on top of it and being careful and smart about it. ive done it before and everything #but man this whole thing. the way we've interacted #its a level of comfortability we havent really done before. #idfk why maybe bc of like natural progression of friendship idk #i wrapped my arm around her shoulder more today than i probably have in my whole life #we were so touchy at the concert bc yknow we're having fun dancing and singing and stuff. sitting close to each other #but the way my insides go crazy at every touch. whether its her touching my arm with the back of her hand to get my attention and resting #it there for a moment. or the hug we had after the concert that was so fucking strong bc we were both emotional. #i go wild inside im like a fool. all butterflies and warmth and that shit #thats not good to feel about my best friend and roommate 😐 and i know and i gotta work on it and find some solution. #but bro if we keep being this touchy. like if this is just how our friendship is now. #it will be the best and worst thing to happen. because it feels amazing but it will never progress further and god do i want it to #and i gotta stop being jealous abt every dumb guy. its bc of insecurity and i know it. i instantly compare myself in the most painful way #every time she talks abt her crush it hurts so much and i gotta stop myself from thinking those thoughts or lamenting that she will never #talk that way about me or feel that way about me #fuck this is gonna be a rough one #but i am still choosing to not let that tarnish the amazing time i had seeing taylor swift. she was the first artist i ever wanted to see #in concert bc she was like the first artist i ever became a fan of as a lil 6 year old #and i finally got to see her and it was incredible and i wish it had never ended #(and it wouldnt have been as amazing as it was if she hadnt come with me)

[zebratimw]

assortment

#uugg #svsss #mdzs #man I don't wanna tag shdjfkg #all of these excluding jiang cheng I plan to finish some day anyways dhfjkg #altho when is the question... hngg.... #also the first one is dhfjgkg bingqiu but like... withthat new geisha skin from idv #its called resilience of bamboo and is a rich green with bamboo and a black n red fan... idk man it just makes me think of them 🥺 #also I'm djjfjgg stressed rn #I'm making cosplay and I keep making little mistakes that ruin everything shfkgkg #ah.. it's so annoying... I hate all of it... but gotta push through anyways 💪 #also I got accepted teehee its an open enrollment so I was going in no matter what but its nice to get rhe email after waiting hehe #but also I think my friend is irritated with me so I've been leaving them alone but they also had like a breakdown so #idk how to go about interacting with them rn #cause like on one hand they completely ignored me earlier so clearly they don't wanna talk to me #but on the other hand they were having a rough time and maybe I should've said something anyways #and now its been hours and I'm still stewing on it shdkfkg so like I wanna say something still but now its awkward hfjfkgkh #man... I'm just gonna keep working UAHDKFKG #aiya.. I've been thinking about it before and moreso recently but I really don't make a good friend do I ? #sometimes I wonder if I'm capable of deeper emotion beyond myself cause moments like these make me think about how I always retreat #instead of pushing forward yknow like its awkward and weird but better going than pussyfootin around but ah I feel too awkward #so I just don't so like.. isn't that just me saying to myself I don't really care for my friend ? like even if its awkward for me wouldn't #it be better anyways? I've always been bad with comfort I've lived a very sheltered life so I lack a lot of experience and in a way empathy #so I've always been more on the cowardly and selfish side of things for sure... for a friend one should do better right but I can't seem to #be capable of doing more I just loiter jrjrjt how much is it base personality and how much is just lack of any real experience ? ehh.. #well no need to think too hard or else I'll be more useless sbdjgkg at least lets work and be a bad friend than be useless AND a bad friend

[videostak]

society if the atari 7800 didnt have the worst sound chip imaginable.

#watching footage of the 7800 donkey kong and dk jr ports compared to the colecovision and even tho the graphics are more faithful #and the dk jr 7800 has the electricity stage im still like yikes cause the sound alone is soooo just tone deaf and grating #tho ive had my 7800 for ever now and like even tho i only have a handful of actual 7800 games most of the ones i have sound v fine #ms pac man sounds great aside from the jingles robotron sounds perfect #i think its just really bad at doing music like it can do music but everything is so tone deaf and rough #but then like even the sfx on dk and dk jr were v v like equally as grating so i guess it depends on game #anways im praying to god everything works well with my colecovision cause im looking up more stuff abt it and it really seems to be like #a perfect console for arcade fans of that time period like everything looks so faithful and great #like sure it doesnt have alll the popular arcade games its missing some of the big ones like space invaders pac man joust dig dug #but it easily seems to make up for that due to the fact that everything it does have in terms of ports beats the competition

[magnoliamyrrh]

oh fuck. i just realized. november is always the month in which my cptsd is maybe worse than ever...,,,, i feel like that has something to do w how badly ive been dissociating lately and why. a myriad of symptoms have come back again

#ive been so out of it #and it just keeps getting worse this whole month #honestly tho like..... i dont think ive ever been this visibily mentally and physically ill in my life. i really dont like it #and its just gotten worse throughout the quarter #though like? in the early weeks of in one of my classes there was a rough switch as well out of... nowhere. but not like this one #but whole damn time. everything hurts in every class and i cant sit still or sit normal or not crack things or rub my joints or anything #and idk its some combination of dissociating headaches near-flashbacka and body pain and eye pain which just #has been making me have to so often keep my head in my hands or my hands over my eyes or my eyes closed or lay my head down on the table #bc its just too much. and even while im still trying to listen i just start shutting down? #...... . .. and i always feel so out of it. and every day feels fragmented. everything kinda seems fragmented...? and like its not really #happening ... . i feel so distant from myself and from my trauma and yet im somehow being consumed by it at the same time #and i really have no damn idea how its already the 28th