#thats not good to feel about my best friend and roommate 😐 and i know and i gotta work on it and find some solution.

[southerngothicaf]

Ohh no.

#ignore #clownery ahead #i may be fucked. this concert and this whole trip has like solidified my feelings for my best friend. #like before they were like there and i knew and it was def growing bc of living together and stuff #but i was getting on top of it and being careful and smart about it. ive done it before and everything #but man this whole thing. the way we've interacted #its a level of comfortability we havent really done before. #idfk why maybe bc of like natural progression of friendship idk #i wrapped my arm around her shoulder more today than i probably have in my whole life #we were so touchy at the concert bc yknow we're having fun dancing and singing and stuff. sitting close to each other #but the way my insides go crazy at every touch. whether its her touching my arm with the back of her hand to get my attention and resting #it there for a moment. or the hug we had after the concert that was so fucking strong bc we were both emotional. #i go wild inside im like a fool. all butterflies and warmth and that shit #thats not good to feel about my best friend and roommate 😐 and i know and i gotta work on it and find some solution. #but bro if we keep being this touchy. like if this is just how our friendship is now. #it will be the best and worst thing to happen. because it feels amazing but it will never progress further and god do i want it to #and i gotta stop being jealous abt every dumb guy. its bc of insecurity and i know it. i instantly compare myself in the most painful way #every time she talks abt her crush it hurts so much and i gotta stop myself from thinking those thoughts or lamenting that she will never #talk that way about me or feel that way about me #fuck this is gonna be a rough one #but i am still choosing to not let that tarnish the amazing time i had seeing taylor swift. she was the first artist i ever wanted to see #in concert bc she was like the first artist i ever became a fan of as a lil 6 year old #and i finally got to see her and it was incredible and i wish it had never ended #(and it wouldnt have been as amazing as it was if she hadnt come with me)