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tommiruewrites · 1 year

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Hi! I would like to request a Tewksbury x fem’Reader (romantic)! Reader is Enola Holmes’ sister

So basically, I was hoping for this to take place in Enola Holmes 2 in the theater fight scene. If you remember, Enola almost gets stabbed, but her corset protected her. So what if it was reader instead, and the corset didn’t protect her? Reader does finish the fight like in the movie because she’s just a girlboss like that and has that whole moment with Tewksbury after, but the stab wound finally takes its toll. That’s sort of just the base of the idea, you can do whatever you come up with after that! I sort of think of this as an angst + fluff? Thank you!

Just a Little Longer - V.T.

word count: 1.2k

requested: yes | no requests: open | closed request rules here

warnings: fem!reader, fluff to angst (but mostly angst bc i love to make myself miserable but in a cute poetic way), brief mentions of fighting, talk of blood, major injury, main character death, best friends to lovers/idiots in love, tragedy, holmes!reader, NOT PROOFREAD

a/n: i'm SOOOO sorry, ik it's been ages since you put in this ask, but my adhd slump was a pain in my ass. it has finally been forcibly lifted (by yours truly) bc i want to write again, and i found the start of this fic in my drafts and decided to finish it. i hope you're still active and able to read this, lovely anon! <3

remember to like, comment, and reblog to support my writing <3

part 2

· • —– ٠ ☆ ٠ —– • · • —– ٠ ☆ ٠ —– • · • —– ٠ ☆ ٠ —– • ·

Everything went by in a blur. You were fighting alongside Tewkesbury and Enola, dodging weapons and fists. The next thing you know, you’re on the floor, wind knocked out of you.

A loud crack rings out and you feel an intense pounding in your head, so you guess you must have hit it when you fell back. As you begin to stand, you feel a dull ache in your ribs. You look down to see the cause, and you thank the heavens that you’re wearing one of those god-awful corsets you've always hated so much. Shouldn’t leave more than a nasty bruise.

You hear Tewksbury —who’s still fighting from across the room— call out your name to make sure you’re alright, but you don’t have time to respond. Your sister reaches a hand out to help you up off the floor as she dodges a hit. A bit preoccupied in a fight of her own she misses the silver handle sticking out of your corset.

“Are you alright?” she screams over the chaos.

You stand firm on your feet, still staring down your opponent. “Fine. Just a little fall, nothing I can’t handle.” Pulling the blade from your abdomen, you miss the red glint of blood as you resume the fight.

———————

The battle is over, and the energy is high. You and Tewkesbury bounce off the walls blabbering on about the recent events, adrenaline running through you while Enola concludes the investigation with your brother, Sherlock.

“Did you see me! I got some really good ones in there. Think I got him in the nose!”

You laugh, breath like shard of glass in your lungs from the cold, "You were wonderful! Just like I showed you."

He beams at that, his cheeks glowing a warm pink, which he hopes could be chalked up to the biting chill outside, “You didn’t do so bad out there yourself.”

“Not bad?” you scoff, "You must have missed the look on that guy’s face when I threw him across the room!"

You both laugh softly, your breath visible in the winter air. You ignore the tight feeling in your lungs.

Suddenly you’re both hyper aware of the lack of space between you. Looking between his cold pink lips and his glassy doe eyes, you hold your breath as he begins to lean closer.

Just as you feel his intoxicating lips graze yours, your knees buckle beneath you. You try to steady yourself against Tewksbury, hand pressed against his chest, as he quickly grabs your waist to hold you up. He chuckles a bit as he tries to help you regain your footing, but immediately stops when notices that you’re practically limp in his hold.

“What's wrong? Talk to me.”

It feels like your chest is collapsing in on itself, and your head starts to spin. “Oh- I’m fine. Just cold.” Mostly reassuring yourself, nothing bad could happen right? You won after all. You beat them. Your family is safe and your best friend that you've been in love with for years is finally kissing you. Those are all good things. Really good things. So it's just the cold making you feel weak and breathless, right?

“I’m just really, really tired.”

Just as you begin to stand up straighter, sharp pain shoots through your stomach and your knees buckle again, causing Tewkesbury to almost fall over. He panics when he hears a gasp that sounds too much like you’re in pain.

“Enola! Something’s wrong!”

Enola and Sherlock stop their current debate and immediately notice your uncharacteristically frail state, rushing over to help Tewkesbury get you on the ground. They sit you down as quickly as possible without hurting you, your back to Tewksbury’s chest so he can keep you stable. His shaky hand tremble against your hips as he surveys your body for injuries. Enola kneels to be eye-level with you, “What's going on? Are you hurt?”

"No-" You nod your head, "I'm fine, I just-" you cut yourself short, unable to create a more convincing reply as a groan of pain rips through you. Thats when Enola notices a deep tear in your dress.

“Her corset. Take off her corset!”

Enola and Sherlock work to quickly remove the thick article of clothing, Tewksbury squeezing your hand reassuringly when you wince at the movement of him lifting your arms. Once the corset is successfully removed, a deep cut reveals itself, crimson red seeping through your under-dress. "Oh my god-"

You look up, the concern in Tewkesbury’s voice making you nervous. “What is it? Is something wrong?”

Enola grabs your focus when she presses her hands against your wound.

"Oh..."

Sherlock frantically removes his coat to tie around you and try to stop the bleeding. “Nothing's wrong. Nothing at all. You’re going to be just fine.” He rambles out, trying to calm both you and himself.

In your hazy state you can't fully sense the anxiety all around you, or how serious your injury truly is. You only register one thing. You’re going to be just fine. Your brother would never lie to you. Not ever.

Your breathing begins to slow as you relax, leaning your head back against Tewkesbury's shoulder. You begin to feel your own shoulder dampen. Looking over at the cause, you see Tewksbury’s face tacked with glistening streaks down his cheeks, staring at Enola and Sherlock frantically try to stop the bleeding as he helps where he can.

“Tewks?” His eyes jump to yours, sniffling. “What's the matter? Why are you crying?”

Much to your dismay, that makes him cry harder. "Nothing’s the matter."

You reach a weak hand up to wipe tears from his cheek as more roll down in their place. “Then why are you crying?”

There’s a long pause, your sibling’s desperate shouting falling deaf on your ears as a faint ringing replaces it. "I’m just so proud of you is all."

You smile at that, "I'm proud of you too, fighter." You tease. He chuckles weakly, not surprised that your wit is still intact even as you're bleeding out. Your eyes begin to feel heavy as you stare into his, eyelids fluttering open and closed.

“Hey! Hey, keep your eyes open for me. Just a little bit longer.” He stammers, squeezing your hand to keep you awake. "We just need a few more minutes. Just a few more minutes, and then you can rest, alright?"

You groan in discomfort, feeling all of your energy go into the one simple task as your body begins to feel floaty and numb. “Tired.”

“I know, I know. Just a little longer. I promise everything will be fine. I promise. Just please, don’t close your eyes.” He sobs out desperately, interlacing his fingers with yours.

Enola and Sherlock keep trying everything in their power to stop the bleeding, sobbing and begging for anything to work. For you to be okay. You try your best to keep your eyes open for them, you really do, but it’s just too difficult. You can hear distant shouts of your name as you finally let the peaceful darkness consume you.

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portlandwithyou · 2 months

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Fraser/Vecchio- A Personal Reflection

Now I came to Due South on the trail of the killers of my father-- wait, no, that's not quite right. Let me try again. I came to Due South on the trail of this gif set. Eaion sold me the instant I saw it. I knew I had to see these two guys who were stuck in crevasse together.

One slight problem- the gif set is from the very end of the show and I had a daunting sixty-some-odd episodes, and a whole different partner, between me and it. It's fine, I told myself; I'll check out the first guy, see if he's worth it, and if he's not, I'll move on to the main attraction.

So I started at the beginning--and that's where I fell in with the show, the characters, and a brand new ship. These are my thoughts about the Due South pilot, written out while I re-watched the pilot.

I liked Fraser instantly. It's not hard to in those first few minutes; he's a grieving son who is searching for his father. He's sweet, he's polite, he's dedicated to justice-- literally what more could you ask for?

What I didn't expect was to like this first Ray so quickly. When he strode down to Fraser doing statute duty, shirt open, chain visible, loud mouth going, I knew I was in love.

But I hadn't yet spotted the ship on the horizon. I was simply enjoying the burgeoning friendship as we met Diefenbaker and began our investigation.

I started to see the glimmer of something in the scene where Ray find Fraser reading Bob Fraser's journal in the diner. I adore that we see Ray opening up to Fraser about his no-good father, and we get that sharp contrast between the two.

But the ship finally took form during the dinner scene. I am a complete sucker for the way the Vecchios immediately take him in as one of their own. I mean, the way Ma Vecchio says she likes him because he's polite-- does that not read like something you would say if he brought a girlfriend home?? It's so natural for Fraser to be there. It's like he was always a missing piece in Ray's life.

Just, oh gosh, the way Ray so clearly trusts Fraser (he brings him into his home!) and the way they're already falling into place makes me grin like a total fool. That's literally what I'm doing as I write this!

Then, we get to see them track down a lead together. Now, this is an integral moment in a buddy cop dynamic. They have to have some chemistry as they solve cases, and by god, Due South delivers in spades when the time comes. Fraser trying his hand at one of Ray's hunches! They're already rubbing off on each other. And Ray gets a great moment of comedy as he reacts to Fraser's first licking scene.

So here's another thing that kills me-- Ray calls them friends as they walk to the Chinatown apartment! They have an immediate connection! I'm screaming! They are meant to be together!

After they establish that they're friends, we get to see some angst—beautiful, wonderful angst. Everyone is at their lowest, and circumstances are pulling Ray and Fraser apart. Tell me this isn't just the normal 2/3rds point in a romance novel where our couple is pushed apart.

But that makes their reunion so much sweeter. Ray came all the way up to bumfuck nowhere NWT after solving a case he probably wasn't even on anymore! He was that eager to come up there and tell Fraser what he'd discovered.

And then, of course, they look you right in the eye and have Fraser ask, "Can I help you out of that?" I AM SCREAMING! Literally kicking my feet up! They know what they're doing!

Next is the big fight/chase sequence where Fraser gets to drive Ray around on a dog sled which is cute and sweet.

Special mention here of Diefenbaker, as I've mostly been glossing over his cuteness. And he's a poor baby at the end.

Finally, we have the ending. Not Ray riding off into the distance together-- I'm talking about when Fraser is standing guard outside of the consulate again, and Ray is already back prattling at his new best friend. ❤️

#this is lame #SORRY IF IT IS #but I just have so many feelings about Ray and Fraser #ds30below #due south

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love-at-first-bite · 1 month

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I really am getting tired about the way people talk about Laios.

Talking with my co-workers/friends and they all call him a freak and weirdo. People on here call him that too and irks me just the same. But these people know me. I can't help but wonder if that's how they see me as well. A weirdo freak who's life is effected by a disability.

Autism is a disability. I know some people don't like hearing that but it's true. My autism effects every step of my life, literally every step as it effects even the way I walk. I don't get sarcasm or most jokes. I talk too fast and too loud. Lights and sounds and smells and textures can be hell for me while for others it's normal and fine. And don't even get me started on the whole social cues stuff.

I talk with someone at work who speaks mostly sarcastically and worry I talk what she says the wrong way a lot. I think she's always mad at me. My friends on Discord say things in a jokey manner rather often and I have to remind them that I think they're being serious unless otherwise stated, which I know gets annoying for them. I talk fast enough as it is (it's a Southern thing) but when I get even a little excited my words blur together and I have awful volume control, coupled as well with hearing issues so I get even louder. I have to make myself talk slower, which makes talker even harder than it already it as my brain and mouth don't sync up so I fumble over words. Someone brought in Valentine's treats for our big work lunch and the texture of it was so bad I fought back tears cause I couldn't just spit it out, even though people told me it was okay, cause that would be plain rude.

But I work with other autistic people. Surely they don't see them as a weird freak? But only I get the weird looks. Autism is only really accepted when it's cute and quirky and when people don't have to be reminded that it's a mental disability that makes living hard. Special interests are only cool when it's something cute, not anything like bugs or medicine or weapons...or monsters. Everyone thinks the person who pretended to be a wolf or a dragon should have been bullied harder when they were young cause maybe they wouldn't be "weird" today. Maybe if I wasn't a freak as a child I wouldn't be a freak today.

Laios is a fictional character. He can't be hurt by people calling him a weirdo freak online. But people who relate to him might be hurt by the things people say. Laios is excitable, talks fast, doesn't understand people's social cues, adores something everyone else around him see as strange and odd, grew up alone and seen as weird, was even physically hurt by people who didn't understand him, didn't want to understand him. Wanted to talk about this for a bit so I'm putting it here. I don't really find it funny that he gets hit and smacked around by his friends just cause they don't understand him. Be bullied because people don't understand your disability as a child/teen is hard enough, but being ragged on by your own friends? Physically too? Which loops me back around to the start of this whole thing.

I'm tired. I'm tired of hearing about this character I love and relate to and see myself in being mocked and called a crazy weird unhinged freak just for being autistic. People can say what they want, but I can't help but feel that's the way they actually see me, see others who are just like me. I already don't feel like I belong in life. Even my closest, bestest friend doesn't understand and I can tell she gets frustrated when I get a little "too autistic". I can't change who I am, despite my mother's efforts to erase my autism in my childhood and just ignoring it now in my adult years. I just wish people were a little nicer to people like me.

Happy autism acceptance month or whatever.

#victor beeps #sorry i'm not putting this under a read more this is ya'll's trial #real people feelings over fictional characters saying that right here right now #but the way some of you talk about fictional characters really shows how you actually feel about real people who are like them #like i've been wanting to talk about how people treat shane and pam from stardew valley but that's another conversation for another time

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raccoon-eyed-rebel · 1 year

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Part 25

Masterlist

Series masterlist

Part 24 🍂 Part 26

Pairing: Syverson x ofc

Series summary: Life with Sy, what more can you wish for? The most amazing husband and father to a whole litter of cute little kids... Sometimes you wonder "how did you get here?"

Chapter warnings: I secretly hate having to fucking spoil this here Mentions of pregnancy, angst, fluff...

Word count: 1.3k

A/N: Well, well, well... I managed to drag this out for over 40k words. I'm proud of myself. @keanureevesisbae, are you proud of me too? (And are you finally happy, now that the whole buikgriep thing is over? XD)

@deandoesthingstome @geralts-yenn @omgkatinka @summersong69 @beck07990 @peaches1958 @sillyrabbit81 @ellethespaceunicorn @livisss @sofiebstar

You had done the math thirteen times in the shower. Then twice when you got out, then six more times while you waited the exact amount of time recommended by the not-to-be-missed blue numbers on the box you had hoped to keep stashed in the back of the bottom shelf of your medicine cabinet for at least another year. Maybe two. Or three. Or more. Now, tears were streaming down your face while you looked at the two life-changing pink lines. You had no idea how long you had been sitting there when you heard footsteps in the hall. They were way too light to belong to Pat, and they definitely weren’t Sy’s, so it had to be Jules. It honestly could have been a satanic easter bunny with a chainsaw; you wouldn’t have moved either way.

“Lara, we’re going h-” Jules shut her mouth mid-sentence and rushed over to you as soon as she saw you sitting on your bed. “What’s going on? Can you hear me?” She sounded really scared. There was nothing you could do other than hum softly at her question, all other functions of your body seemed to have been turned off. It was only a matter of time before she looked down at what you were holding in your hands.

“Oh.” That was all she said for a while, but when you still didn’t reply, she continued: “I don’t know what to say. If you’re happy, I’m happy for you. It’s just that you don’t look happy.” Probably because you weren’t feeling very happy, and though you were mostly shocked and definitely more than a little bit freaked out, you weren’t unhappy, either.

“I don’t know, Jules,” you said, now entirely unable to stop your crying. How was this even possible? You didn’t remember throwing up anywhere in the past weeks, there were no unexplained pills left in your strip, or the last one. No antibiotics, nothing. Of course, a one percent chance was still a chance… The footsteps on the stairs were clearly Sy’s – you’d recognize them from a mile away. Normally, the sound comforted you, because… Well, because it was Sy. That was plenty. Now, it just threatened to send you into hysterics.

“Lara, listen to me,” Jules said, “I’m going to leave. You two are gonna talk. It’s going to be fine. I promise.” You just hoped she was able to gauge Sy’s reaction better than you were, because your brain was cooking up doom scenario’s left and right.

“Talk about what?” Sy said as he opened the door. Jules didn’t leave in a gigantic hurry. You appreciated that, it calmed you down somewhat. It gave you some time to take a few deep breaths while she said goodnight to Sy before leaving him by the door in a state of bewilderment and suspicion.

When he walked over to you, you turned your head to look at him– which was the first time you moved in what you now guessed would have to be about fifteen minutes.

“Sugar, you’re scarin’ me,” Sy said with one raised eyebrow and a hesitant half-smile on his face. Without looking, he sat down on the bed in front of you, and put a hand on yours. “What’s that you’re holdin’?” There was no point in lying to him. Besides, he was already holding the test – and his initial reaction wasn’t that much different from yours.

“I’m pregnant,” you said. It was the first time you said it out loud – although ‘loud’ was a serious overstatement. Was a part of you banking on the off chance that this was a false positive? Probably. Sy’s reaction didn’t help. Why didn’t he look happy? He’d known he wanted kids for God knows how long! He should be ecstatic, right?

“I can see that,” he said softly. In his voice, you heard the tears you saw in his eyes, but he didn’t give you any indication of whether they were happy tears or… You didn’t even want to think about the alternative. The idea of Sy not being happy about this absolutely shattered your heart, which could really only mean one thing… You’d made up your mind. “What I really wanna know is… Sugar, are we havin’ a baby?”

“Yes,” you said, your voice remarkably strong as you did. The word was barely out of your mouth, or Sy’s lips were on yours. The kiss was fierce, gentle, caring, full of love, protective, intense, relentless, very thorough – and so much more. It was everything he was, everything he had to offer, and all of it was for you, and you alone.

Seeing him cry was something else: it broke your heart, even though you were absolutely convinced they were tears of joy. He didn’t speak. He just pulled you into his lap, and let you curl up into a ball.

“A week ago, we were fighting about whether or not I saw a future for us,” you murmured. You’d never been more certain of that future, but at the same time, you were terrified. Having a baby with the guy you’d only been dating for four months sounded crazy, everyone could see that. Even if that guy was Sy. The two of you got into bed, and you didn’t waste a second to crawl back into his arms.

“Sugar, we don’t have to do this. Whatever you decide, I’m right there with ya.” How could he even say that? Did that mean…

“You don’t want this…” It wasn’t a question. Why else would he even suggest not seeing this through?

“Whoa! Sugar, let me tell ya somethin’,” he said, “I was there when Wes was born. Actually, I’d just spent a day or two in jail for chasin’ Betty’s good for nothin’ son of a bitch ex, Joe Warren, down and punching his lights out, but that’s not important right now.”

“Jail?” That seemed excessive…

“Small town, Sheriff saw me, I gave him a li’l too much of an attitude. Parents weren’t too eager to come pick me up, figured it’d do me good to spend the night.” He was smiling, clearly it hadn’t left any kind of permanent trauma. Still seemed weird, though. “They were a few towns over for a funeral, anyway, so they weren’t even thinkin’bout picking my sorry ass up. Sheriff let me go when my sister called the office, said she needed me at the hospital.”

“Wait, if your parents weren’t home, how did she get to the hospital?”

“Georgie had driven her,” Sy said as he smiled at the memory. Somewhere, instinctively, the math didn’t work out there. “Fifteen years old. They let ‘em keep their learner’s permits, him and Ricky. Like I said, small town.” Sy shook his head while you silently jumped for joy: You’d been right, the math didn’t work out.

“Sheriff took ‘em back home. I stayed with Betty. I’ll tell ya, Sugar, I wanted to run, I was freaked out.” “But you didn’t.” That had to be the point, right?

“I didn’t. He’s Jonathan Wesley Syverson for a reason,” he said. Shortly after, his expression turned the slightest bit sour. “McGraw, nowadays.”

“Your sister’s husband adopted him?” you asked. Why did Sy seem upset about that? “I’m a little shaky on the names, still, sorry.”

“Bill,” Sy reminded you. “He did. I shouldn’t be mad about it, he’s a good man. Great father. But it pissed me off when he waltzed in and… What I’m tryin’ to say, Sugar: The moment I held my nephew, I knew I wanted kids of my own someday. I’ve been wantin’ this since I was seventeen years old. Ain’t gon’ change my mind about it now.” Somehow, that story helped a lot, and what’s more; you noticed Sy’s hand had moved – without you realizing it – to your stomach.

“I’m scared,” you whispered. Sy’s lips found your temple and kissed it softly.

“I’m right here.”

#syverson x ofc #syverson #captain syverson fanfiction #captain syverson #syverson fanfiction #syverson fluff #cpt syverson #syverson fic #henry cavill characters #henrycavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill

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mfjenks · 7 months

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My being delulu is growing!

There is one more work I'm actually proud of (mostly of the idea, not of the style of writing). I've decided since Charles's appartment is a crime scene he has to move to Oliver's for some period time. He has to fight his growing anxiety which makes him unable to sleep without having nightmares, but Oliver is there for him

Oliver woke up to hear screams from the next room. Charles. His heart skipped a beat. He jumped out the bed and rushed to the room his friend slept in. He opened the door and saw him - tossing and turning on the bed, frightened like he was vainly trying to run away from a huge beast. A nightmare? Oliver leaned over Charles and started to shake him by his shoulders gently, but persistently.

"Charles, wake up. Charles. Charles. Wake up. Wake up". Shaken, Charles opened his eyes slowly,trying to understand what was real. When he finally managed to focus, he saw a pair of eyes looking at him with some worry and tenderness. When Oliver caught his look, he sighed with relief.

"It's okay, Charlie. I'm here, you're safe" he smiled softly and carefully patted Charles's shoulders.

Charles took a deep breath and looked around the room. He really was there at Oliver's. When he understood what happened, he suddenly felt ashamed. He sat down on the bed and started to shake his head.

"Oliver, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up, I..." Oliver sat next to him and placed his hand at his friend's back.

"Shhh, it's fine. You've got nothing to be sorry about. A nasty nightmare, isn't it?"

"Y-yeah... I'm such a mess, I shouldn't scream like a little child, I..." Oliver wrapped one hand around Charles's shoulder, pulling him closer, and raised the other one to make him stop talking.

"Charles, stop. It's okay to be scared". He put his hand on Charles's and started patting it with his thumb. "I really... want you to feel safe, believe me, but... with everything you've been through, with this, you know, possibility of some psycho being after you-...sorry-... You have every right to be scared".

Charles turned away and lowered his head. They spent a few moments in silence trying to collect their thoughts.

"You know, it may become easier - and it may not, and it will be fine - if you tell me what you've seen. Sometimes telling this at loud can help. I'm here".

"You've actually told all of that yourself... I just feel like... All I can do is to push people away and lose them. I can't be anything but alone, I can't handle any relationship, my ex-ex is a murderous psychopath, Joy was the only one who liked me for decades and now she hates me, and Sazz... being killed... mostly likely because of me... And I still all I can care about is my life like I'm the only one who is the victim here. You were right, I make everything be about myself. I don't know, Oliver, it feels like I'm cursed. And maybe I deserve it".

He looked like a scared wet puppy, and Oliver felt his heart bleeding for him. He carefully got down on the floor and took both Charles's hands with his.

"Don't say that. Well, maybe you are cursed-" he made a face at Charles and then looked at his eyes again. "But there is no way you deserve any of that. I know I don't usually tell nice things to you, but... You are a good man, Charles. Probably the kindest man I know. And I really appreciate your company. None of things that happened is your fault, you hear me? Don't be so harsh on yourself. And, well, maybe it's not something you dream about at our age, but you are not alone. Mabel and I are with you, you know".

"And I've nearly lost you too".

Oliver felt a pang of guilt and looked away.

"It's... I'm sorry. But it won't happen again. I've been fixed" he gave a reluctant smile.

"You know it doesn't mean it won't happen again. At your age with your eating habits and your personality, it-"

"But mom! Stop it. I understand it, okay? But there wouldn't have been any guarantee that we would live any longer if we had been younger than Mabel and I hadn't have this heart condition. We can't be sure, you know it. It doesn't mean you should spend your whole life thinking only about losing people. And Charles Haden-Savage, don't you even think of getting rid of me. I'm not giving up on you".

Finally, Charles managed to smile, and Oliver couldn't but give him a fond smile too.

"Thank you, Oliver. It really means a lot. I feel like I owe to you know".

"Only these 50 bucks for that lunch".

"But it's you who owe me and it's 100 bucks!"

They burst out laughing.

"See? For real, Charles, you were there for me when I was a complete mess waiting for DNA-test results, you and Mabel spent five days sitting at my bedside in the hospital, do you really think I'm an ungrateful jerk?"

"Of course I don't. I've never thought you were ungrateful".

Oliver's smile broadened. He got to his feet and tapped Charles on his shoulder. "You know, when Will was a little boy and couldn't sleep because of nightmares I used to watch some cartoons or dumb TV shows with him. Roberta wasn't a big fan of this idea, said I could excite the kid even more, but it worked, actually. He fell asleep everytime with his cute tiny head on my laps" he smiled happily with a feeling of nostalgia. "So, I guess you won't fall asleep immediately if I leave the room, so we can also make a try".

"It can work" Charles gave him a grin.

"So let's go, big boy" he slapped Charles on the back.

***

So here they were sitting close to each other in front of the TV.

"You are a good friend and a good father, Oliver".

"Thank you" answered Oliver, touched by his words and feeling sleepy and a bit drunk because of the Gut Milk. Well, "You know..." he moved closer and looked into his eyes. "I meant every word earlier tonight, Charles. I'm really lucky to have a best friend like you and I would do my best to make you feel safe. Just don't make me worry about you. For a moment I decided you had a stroke or were shot or there was some guy with machete in my appartment".

"Sorry. And thank you too" he put his arm around Oliver. Oliver, in turn, put his head on his best friend's shoulder.

There was a silence for a few minutes. Then Charles opened his mouth to say:

"We c-" he noticed his friend had already fallen asleep. He waited for some moments not to wake him up, then raised Oliver's head from his shoulder gently and laid him down on the couch. He took a blanket, covered Oliver with it and patted him on the head.

He left for the bedroom, fell asleep and no more nightmare could bother him that night.

#only murders in the building #omitb #omitb s3 #omitb s4 #oliver putnam #charles haden savage #olicharles #charles x oliver #i love them so much your honor #they can just cuddle and comfort each other for the whole season and i will be glad #yes poto line as the title #fanfic

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multifandomwhore-003 · 2 years

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Sunshine, nice to meet you

Pairing: bisexual! JJ Maybank x bisexual! female! reader because happy pride month

Summary: You stole JJ's snack for the night, and he's not happy about it

Genre(s): pre-smut? Maybe?

Warnings: mentions of weed and alcohol, implied smut (fxf)

Taglist: @pankowfruitsnacks @youdontlikethatdoyoucupcake @fdl305 @rafecameronswhore @prettiestgirlontheblack @barbiekatz @gabiatthedisco @l-o-v-r-s @kaitieskidmore1 join the taglist here

Gif credits to whom it belongs

Part two on the masterlist!

𓆉︎𝙹𝙹 𝙼𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚁𝚞𝚍𝚢 𝙿𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝𓆉︎

REQUESTS CLOSED

THIS IS NOT FREE USE, YOU CANNOT USE MY WORK

Reblog if you like

If there was anyone bitchier than the blonde bitch himself would be 'Sunshine', or at least that's how the entire island called you. It began as a simple family nickname that quickly spread to your friends as nothing more than a tease, but it was tossed around so naturally, you would never respond if someone called you by your actual name, you'd even go as far as introducing yourself as such.

"Sunshine, nice to meet you,"

And there wasn't really any irony with the name and your attitude, you were really a positive and nice energy to be around with, if and only if, you liked the person, you weren't rude, just selective. Well, except with JJ, he's a whole different story, it didn't matter the day or the mood, you always loved to get under your skins, although this time maybe you went a bit too far, which is why you ended up sat down in John B's sink with your back pressed against the mirror and his face fuming right in front of you.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, what are you talking about?" you doed up your eyes.

"Don't- don't play innocent with me,"

"I-" you chuckled cynically, "I have no idea what you're talking about,"

It began with a normal and casual party at the Chateau, you know, the ones where all the Pogues come. John was being the perfect host making sure everything was in check, Kiara was debating everyone within a six-feet radius, Poe was trying his best with... everyone really, JJ was eyeing everyone that had a heartbeat, and you were at the center of the living room laughing, joking, making conversation. At one point you caught with the corner of your eye the Maybank boy soothing yet another visitor that was sure to stay the night, something lit up inside you as you machinated the idea of stealing her for yourself, so, when he and John went to get more beer, you didn't waste a second to swoop in his place, you offered her a blunt that you both shared in a quieter place. By the time they got here, you were both nowhere to be seen, until eventually, you both came out of the bathroom, Melissa, poor Melissa as a flushing mess with her lips all plumped, her hair in a tangle, and the straps of her sun dress pushed down; you, on the other hand, came out with freshly washed fingers and a cocky smile, and as soon as you came out of the bathroom, you were shoved inside once again and shortly carried to be placed in a more vulnerable position.

"You know you just cost me tonight's snack, right?"

"Real classy Maybank," you frowned, "But honestly, you should be thankful, if anything she's more than ready to continue with anyone,"

He tilted his head in annoyance, "Do you really think I wanna be stuck being second round?"

"Look, I'm not really looking for one of those dick-measuring contests you men love so much to feed you pathetic pride, mostly because even tho I don't have one it still manages to be bigger than any of yours,"

"You don't say,"

"Well, I mean," you grinned, "I just stole the girl, and she was fine as fuck if I say so myself, but you already knew that," you bragged, "You would've loved her, loud but not too loud, whiny, needy, clearly had a praise kink, and her voice, fuck, I don't think my name has ever sounded better," you bit you bottom lip missing her body details, you had to lay off a little.

He bit the inside of his cheek, "You think you're funny?"

"No, I think- No. I know I'm hotter than you," you pulled a perfectly rolled blunt out of your bikini bra, -neat trick, horrible timing- you thought, because it was indeed perfect, worked every time.

"You're fucking insufferable,"

"Oh, relax, there's like at least 50 girls out there who would love to be dicked down by you," you put it between your lips.

"Go to hell," he took a step back.

"Oh, yeah? And where do you think you're gonna end up ol' sport?" you also took out the box of matches, "Because last time I checked," you lit it up, "Us fags aren't going to heaven," you took a hint, relaxing your head back and releasing the air. You made eye contact again, he was still pissed, "Let it go, pretty boy, what are you gonna do about it, huh? Fuck me instead?"

Okay, I know I'm a fucking tease but in my defense, I have no idea how to continue this, please give me ideas for part 2 otherwise I genuinely won't know how to continue

Love y'all

#jj x reader #jj maybank x you #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank smut #jj maybank obx #jj maybank x fem!reader

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crmsnmth · 1 month

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September Sky Chapter Six, Part 2

"How bad are they?"

"I guess there not as bad. I still can ignore them mostly. It's not really any worse than when I'm alone. I guess they happen more, but are less intense?"

She wrote on her pad. She was quick. Her pen moved quickly. I tried to catch a glimpse at what she's writing. Of course, I knew I couldn't.

"They aren't that bad, really. Like I said, I can manage them. It's not debilitating anymore." I said, feeling awkward from the silence.

"But they're more frequent."

"Yeah, I guess. But it kind of makes sense. They're usually just short little thoughts about me being awkward or weird or antisocial. I catch myself being out there, and then I feel kind of ashamed by it. It's stupid, but I don't want to chase Addison away with me being messed up."

"Do you think you're going to chase her away?"

"Sometimes, yeah. But it's not a constant thought. She's really understanding when it comes to my head. Which is weird."

"Do you think with Addison being so welcoming to it, that we are making some progress here?"

"Sort of. I don't know. Maybe?"

"Ok. That's fine. It's okay to not be sure."

"I guess so."

"I think this Addison is having a really good effect on you. Even on an off day, you seem brighter." She used words like that to explain my moods. Brighter and darker. All about finding the balance within the shadows.

"I think it's a lot more than just Addison."

She looked up at me from her beneath her lashes as she wrote. "Well, let's talk about that. What else is going in your life?"

I stared at her as my mind went blank. Anything I could use as some made up reason. I couldn't think of one, no matter how much I tried.

"You should admit that this Addison is bringing out the best in you. She is."

"I don't want that to be the only reason I'm doing better. I don't want to put her up on some pedestal. I won't do that. I can't do that. Mostly because I'm scared of it. At the same time, I feel like I'm being brought back to life after being in the darkness for too long. I can't let myself believe that it's all because of one person. That's insane. I know that's insane." My words came quick and sharp. Her pen scribbled. The sound of the pen scratching the paper was loud.

"Is that really such a bad thing? One person can help change a person. It happens all the time. And it's obviously working for you. You're doing things again. You're going out in public, and not just content to sit alone on a bar stool."

I didn't say anything. Instead, I stared out of the window, not seeing anything. She was right. I hated to believe she was right. In fact, it irritated me. For the last few years of my life I made a promise to myself I'd never let another person in. I was perfectly okay with my isolation and solitude. I had made peace with the fact that I was going to finish my life alone. That might seem a bit depressing to most, but once you make peace with it, it's sort of liberating. It's a very strange sense of freedom.

"Chris? You've gone silent again."

I sighed loudly. I really didn't want to be here today.

"Because I have nothing to say," I said.

"Do you at least see what I mean?"

"Yeah, of course I do. I'd have to be blind not to. It's just...uncomfortable."

"That's because you've been shut down for the better part of three years. You've sunk into yourself and made a nice cozy home in your head. And now your being pulled out of that nest."

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the-drug-addicts-diary · 10 months

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My first manic episode

They told me, that despite my bipolar medication, I can still get mood swings. Most likely, I can still get depressed. And i did during winter. Nothing severe, it was just seasonal stuff. So I am always kinda ready for depression, but I wasn't ready for mania. I thought it couldn't happen to me.

And I was wrong.

My medication works perfectly and I'm very responsible when it comes to it. I got into full remission for a long time, so i really didn't see it coming. My lithium levels most likely dropped a bit, which should be fine. We'll just wait for the results to come and increase the dose. I'm not afraid much about that part.

But there were signs. Many weeks before that. Signs i didn't pay attention to, because it didn't occur to me that this could happen. I never heard of the prodromal phase of mania before. For example, depression is one of many possible symptoms, i mean, what the f...?

In 12 years of being treated as a bipolar patient (and 7 of being diagnosed) i never even got manic before. I had mixed episodes or depressions.

I had a couple of cases of hypomania as well, but it was so rare and mostly harmless, that i never really cared.

Most of it happened during active addiction and it pretty much made me believe that since I'm clean and medicated, it won't happen again.

Hypomania was laughter and higher self esteem.

It was buying stuff i didn't need. It was high heels and a minidress, and drinking with strangers. It was bright and pure. It was creativity and stupid impulses, with more or less severe consequences. It was fun.

But mania was a killer.

My heart was so full, that if i'd get any happier, I'd explode into millions of pieces of joy and rage. It was gaining more and more energy from any attempt to get rid of it. Mania was not being able to think or speak coherently, because every single thought shattered into thousands of others. Mania was "I'm not bipolar" thinking.

It was two weeks of my life i have almost no memories of.

It can still be a part of a mixed episode, but i'm starting to doubt that.

Thankfully, I didn't do anything I would have to regret. I learned to love myself so it would probably take much more to make me do anything, that could harm me in any way. Mostly, I was just making videos as a "project" for youtube (which was, luckily, forbidden by my wife) where i was trying to describe how i felt, and got frustrated every time, because i couldn't speak.

It makes it easier to remember, but really hard to watch.

But i finally understood how nasty this disease is. A part of me always thought that I am "faking it". I had these thoughts during the episode, and I kinda have them now, while not even sure if the episode is truly over, or if it's just a temporary effect of the antipsychotic pill i took 2 days ago. Anyway I tried to really fake it yesterday, just so I'd know, and it's not physically nor mentally possible.

Which means, it was real.

Those signs i talked about earlier, they are still here. I don't need much sleep. I'm forgetting to eat, but still have lots of energy to keep me going. My thinking is different. My cognitive functions are one big mess. I can't focus, I'm easily distracted. My memory sucks. But it's still much, much better than it was a couple of days ago.

It wasn't fun. It was horrible and i wanted it to end, while being eternally grateful that i get to experience it. It was inability to hold a thought long enough to share it out loud. It was a shadow, appearing in the corner of my eye, but disappearing before i could take a good look at it. It was being frozen in one moment, just a second before my reality was about to collapse. It was creepy... and it was loved.

There are so many words i could use for describing what it was like. I could precisely describe it in many ways. But I can't say how i feel about it right now.

There are no words for that.

(Update: yeah, i was definitely manic while writing that, but I'm still gonna keep it here.)

#bipolar disorder #bipolar mania #manic episode #mania #bipolar #bipolar thoughts #mental health #manic depression

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silvertws · 8 months

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Mh yes, I could have been obsessed over I don't know... mythology, dinosaurs, maybe some more known media like Percy Jackson.

But no.

I got obsessed, over Minecraft steves.

You've read that right.

FUCKING MINECRAFT STEVES.

CURSE YOU YOUTUBE FOR YOU PAGE.

I could have been watching maybe good quality Rps.

But no.

One video, and I was already hooked.

Goddamn it.

You know how many different series I've watched up until now?

Let me show you.

First video was episode 118 of "The Legends of the Balancers" back when it just came out, then I kept watching from there and after I finished that I decided to watch it from the start.

And you may think "surely 100+ episodes of a Minecraft Steve saga satisfied their needs" right...?

WRONG.

I.kept.going.

Bedrock Rising, Ruined Reality, Steve Saga (no, not Sabre's one, I tried that one but uh... I couldn't bring myself to enjoy it, I do love his newest series tho!), Ore Quest prime, A dark soul, Crimson Life Origins, and AT LEAST another one that I can't remember the name of- ToT it even was a log one I'm pretty sure. AHHHHHH

Oh and yes.

This all happened in less than a month.

I have a problem.

But it's fine :}

THIS IS MAKING ME WANT TO MAKE A FANON OC- WHY- WHY DO I EVEN HAVE A STORYLINE IN MIND- WHY AM I LIKE THIS.

AND. I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRAW THEM MFS-

LIKE WHAT.

like sure, I have head canons, I have made some sketches, BUT HOW.

Like, take FUCKING TIME STEVE-

IS IT A MASK? IS IT A FLOATING CLOCK HEAD? IS IT A CLOCK FUSED WITH HIS FACE?

I don't know.

It just exist.

oh and let's talk about THE FACT THAT THEY ALL WEAR THE SAME FUCKING SHIT-

MY MANS, I AM HORRIBLE AT DESIGNING OUTFITS, GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WORK WITH PLEASE.

I am going insane.

I am now attached to all of these characters.

Yes.

All of them.

I cannot help myself.

I have low standards I know, I'm well aware-

Anyway.

Someone should really make a Bingo for those series like:

"Naive AF mc, Darkness Go brr, Fought a God, Got mind controlled, has multiple people in their head, is in the WRONG DIMENSION, uses a crystal of some sort, L i g h t, music is loud AF and I cannot hear what you're saying, puberty hit during the series so the voice just changed, Sabre (which, I can exuse cuz yk, it's Sabre), got created by an all powerful being, is supposedly very powerful but somehow loses pretty often ngl (sorry <3), amnesia..." and so.much.more.

Which isn't bad, cause they're all unique in their own way <3

I mostly find that funny :3 they are all based off the same thing after all, so it makes sense.

I swear I am a responsible and serious adult.

I just uh... Like funky stuff ig-

Don't come at me please :'}

I feel like you can see my road trip to madness here.

Don't worry, this happens everytime I hyperfixate on anything.

Well, anything that I can't really talk about with any of my friends because they don't know and I don't want to bother them because if I start talking about the lore...

I won't stop.

You will have to stop me, knock me out or something.

I know my friend will read this, so *hi* :}

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shenashygans · 1 year

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THE SUNDAY CURRENTLY -11-

Good morning! It's still morning, right? How was your week? Lemme summarise mine. Because it's Sunday today!!! Another TSC by yours truly~

Writing

The Sunday Currently! Idk if this is really my 11th TSC post. I forgot? I promise to write longer than last week. But I can't promise that I will do it today :) So how was your week? Mine is.. meh. It's been pretty calm. Which is good!

Feeling

Cold! I was up (5th floor) and out (the podium) earlier to capture the sunrise. And Goddddd. What a view. What. A. View. Always worth the wait! But I think I was waiting for a good 10-mins out in the cold, morning air. It's fine. I got to see the sunrise for the first time this year. I always see it when it's up already kasi.

Loving

My beautiful sunrise & sunset shots! It became my morning & afternoon routine when I found out someone likes seeing them. But I mostly, those shots are for myself. It reminds me to be thankful that I get to see the sun every day. Oh, the litol things~

Wanting

To quit my job. I know, I know. I've been saying this a million times. But I want to quit, and find a new one here. I know, I know. I told myself that I will go home after quitting. But as a balisang Gemini.. idk idk. Let's just cross the bridge when we get there, I guess?

Needing

To have a general check-up. Suki na ako sa hospital last year. This year din ata siguro? Chzz. UAE's healthcare facilities are chef's kiss, but why am I still scared going there? Huhu. Too afraid on what they'd find wrong with me? Too scared to catch something when I visit there? Ahhh

Smelling

Myself. I'm wearing my Santal 33 dupe perfume. The spaghetti my colleague made for us. The burger my other colleague made for us. So I'm smelling mostly food rn :))

Wearing

My (not complete) uniform. And shorts. Maybe that's why I'm feeling cold?

Listening

To the sound of the leaf blower. It's too early to be this loud. The songs I've been listening to, well, the playlist are from Peej Radio and Ben&Ben Radio. I love discovering new/old songs/artists.

Wishing

To call someone and talk their ears off. But life is shitty, and you really can't get what you want. Wishing for more better days for me, the people around me, and the people I care about.

Hoping

That my immune system won't let me down this year. Almost done with the first month.. so far, so good. I hope (and I pray) that all will be healthy this 2023 🙏🏻

Thinking

On what to do on my day off? Should I just go to Dubai? Tapos uwi din agad. Nag-sayang lang ako ng oras 🤣 should I get a driver's license here? Saan naman ako kukuha ng pera? ChZz.

Reading

I'm still on a reading slump. Idk. I binged read Freida's books and stopped abruptly. Maybe this is my mind saying, "tama na kabaliwan muna" :))

Watching

Coco! Yes, I know. I've watched this too many times. I'm watching Weak Hero Class, too. Maybe, The Glory next or Reborn Rich. Depends on my mood. I'm still waiting on Hobi my love so sweet's docu on Disney+ next month! Time for me to download it hehehe

Eating

Mostly veggies, fish, seafoods, and fruits! It's because we're trying to eat healthy. Well, my roomie is trying to be healthy. Damay damay daw. But I'm eating istapeggy & burger right now. And it's delicious! We tried Pani Puri for the first time, too! SOBRANG SARAP DI KO MAEXPLAIN. I want more, that's for sure.

See? I can post naman weekly if I remember it. Have a great week ahead! See y'all next week ☺️

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moonflower1605 · 1 year

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Chapter - 9

(Ella's POV)

The next few days went by real quick. Each morning I would teach Percy Ancient Greek.

Though his attention was mostly focused on me instead of the Greek lessons. It ended with me snapping my fingers in front of his face every thirty seconds.

After a couple of mornings, he could stumble through few lines of Homer without my help.

Thursday came by real quick. I was heading to teach the Apollo kids music lessons.

You might be wondering, 'Hey Apollo is the God of music, so why is a daughter of the lightning god teaching them music instead?'.

Well to answer your question, apparently, one day Chiron heard me singing in my cabin (weird, I know..). He said he had never heard anyone sing so well. He asks me if I'd be willing to take over music classes & I happily agreed.

I reached the amphitheater early & saw everyone talking to their friends.

Will Solace from the Apollo cabin came over to me, "Hey, Nora!"

"Hey, Will. How's my little bro doing?" I pull his cheeks. He playfully slaps my hand away.

You see, Will & I are actually the same age but he came to camp a month after me. Ever since we started talking I've always felt connected to him just like I did with Jason so I've called him my as my little brother.

"I'm good, Nora." We began talking, but my thoughts soon drifted off to Percy.

"Whoa, whom are you day dreaming about?" Will asked waving a hand in front of my face.

"No one." I said quickly. I might've blushed.

Will notices, "You've got a crush! Who's the lucky guy?"

"Shh! Not so loud. I told you it's nobody."

"Uh-huh. Fine! Keep your secrets." I sighed.

"Look, I'll tell you when I'm ready. I promise."

"Okay, I trust you."

"Thank you." I said smiling.

Music class ended & I was free till lunch so I decide to go for sword-fighting. Many kids at camp always said I was the best sword fighter they'd ever seen. I never really believed them honestly.

As I reached there i saw everyone in pairs. Percy was there too, paired up with Luke. I guess Luke was teaching him a few moves.

It was a while until Luke called for a break. I wanted to get revenge on Luke for what he did at the campfire that day. That's I saw Percy head to the cooler, so I called him.

"Psst! Percy!" He looked sppoked as if he'd heard a ghost. I giggled to myself.

"Hey! Perce, over here!" I say waving. He finally notices me & comes over.

"Hey, Nora. What are you doing here?"

"Okay, so I don't have a lot of time to explain. Luke can't see me here now or else my plan for revenge won't work."

"Revenge?"

"For what he did that day at the campfire. I know you're wondering why I sat with him even after what he did right?" Percy nods.

"Well I did because I saw the future where you come & ask me to walk with you." His mouth formed a silent 'oh'.

"So, what do you need me to do?"

I quickly explained the plan to Percy & he nodded in understanding. He went back.

I looked into the future & see Luke demonstrating a disarming technique, on Percy, which I was already great at.

Then the two of them duel until one of them pulls it off. Percy was successful in the first attempt but when Luke asks him to do it a second time Percy fails.

I come back to reality & see Luke still demonstrating the technique on Percy. After a few minutes they begin the duel.

Percy manages to pull of the manoeuvre the first time just like I'd predicted. Luke was clearly impressed & he asked him to try it again.

I caught Percy's eye & mouthed 'get ready'. He nods. I walk towards them, but controlled everyone's mind. So no one except Percy was able to see me. I raise my left hand - blue wisps danced across my fingertips.

As soon as Luke lunges at Percy I shot a ball of power near Luke's feet. A long blue python comes out of the ground. He filnches & stumbles but tries not to scream.

This gives Percy enough time to disarm him. I laugh so hard & was glad that no one except Percy could see or hear me.

"STYX! HOLY HERMES! WHAT IN THE NAME OF HADES WAS THAT?" He lets out.

I was down on the ground laughing by now. Percy saw me & laughed too. Everyone else was laughing along as well.

"JACKSON! WHAT WAS THAT? HOW DID YOU DO THAT?" He questions Percy.

Percy looked over at me. I gestured for him to act dumb. He smiled & nodded.

"I don't know what you mean Luke."

I winked at Percy before gesturing toward the door telling him that I was leaving.

It's been a while since I laughed this much....

Link to the next chapter is here.

Link to the prev chapter is here.

Comment, like & share.

Take care my lovely readers.❤

Alice signing off.

XOXO.

#percy jackson #x reader #percy jackson x reader

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pillowcaseghostie · 1 year

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Does anyone else text or message their partners when they're asleep with whatever random things? Sometimes I'm feeling sad or thinking about some of my traumas and get a boost of confidence in talking about it with him but I don't want to wake him up when I'm "fine" for the most part and can handle how I feel until he is awake.

I just kinda spent an hour writing to him in discord. It started off about sorrow about what became of childhood pottery pieces and spiraled out from there. It's sad to get into these feelings but it's also freeing to be able to share.

I just gotta make sure he knows not to read it before work because it's all kind of a giant bummer. I mean he's mostly a pretty happy guy full of self esteem and doesn't get bummed out by my stories but still.

But for now I feel a little better. My birthday always makes me sad but at least I feel I did something constructive by talking about it.

Im also kind of trying to come to terms with the fact I keep trying to replicate flavors and food from growing up because I miss the few stable moments in my childhood and because I feel like I'm lacking in identity.

Italian American families even ones who have never been to Italy always seem so confident in their "Italian-ness"

My grandpa was an immigrant but grew up here mostly so he was very Americanized. I suspect my great grandpa pushed for that as the time they immigrated would've been a time where having an accent was a pretty no go for the Italian and Irish. Ironic that these groups are so racist against others in the same boat in the present day but I digress.

I looked up a recipe to try to get a starting point for the meatballs he used to make and found it's a Sicilian type recipe. Left me with questions like "I thought we came from Naples." And "Is Sicily in Italy?" Which made me feel even MORE American and not Italian American.

My brother is boisterous, confident, loud, and embraced the food culture so heavily but I'm more subdued unless I'm confortable, I lack in the same confidence, and I feel disconnected from it. Sometimes I feel more at home with asian inspired dishes. Truthfully it's because of a strong weeaboo phase but that weeaboo phase is distinctly mine along with me acquiring these tastes on my own through my own exploration, unlike some of the foods thrust upon me.

I don't know anything about my own culture and I feel so lost because of it.

Sorry for such a personal post but I suspect it'll be buried before I even realize it's something I shouldn't have posted, but I'm so tired of feeling ashamed for my true feelings and myself that I don't want to keep it inside either.

Anyway happy birthday to me lol

#blogging #self reflection #disconnection #italian american #am i alone

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ava-achlys · 3 years

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The Boyz NSFW Scenarios

Kim Sunwoo - Hands Off [Requested]

softdom!Sunwoo x gf!reader

Request: Sunwoo likes to play with his girlfriend's breasts

Warnings: mentions of bullying, body image, underage drinking, anxiety (very brief), titfucking

Long overdue request for @ace-seventeen-world , I hope you like it! Also first time writing anything about titfucking, I hope it turned out alright. 🙏🏽

Sunwoo loves you even when you don't feel like loving yourself.

Being well-endowed since puberty hit meant you received a lot of unwanted attention from all genders. Some would pass judgement, calling you desperate for attention; and some would ogle and make lewd comments. This led to you coming to school wearing oversized baggy clothes and even turtlenecks no matter the weather. The less your body was apparent for people to judge, the better, you thought. Except the comments never stopped. You were so sick of your body being the talk of the student population of your small-town high school that you couldn't wait to graduate; and move far away to start afresh in college, where you futilely hoped that people would be more mature about these things.

Moving away for college turned out to be the best decision you made. You made a whole bunch of new, more mature friends who taught you to embrace and appreciate your body. Inappropriate comments from strangers still came your way, but with your new, reliable support system, you learnt to shut them out, and your girlfriends would even try to fight them for you, which made you feel very touched and grateful. Apparently, this sincerity didn't stop with just your good friends. That was also how you met your current boyfriend. Your friends had convinced you to come with them to a party during your first semester, and you allowed them to doll you up, upon much pestering. You were dressed in a nice blouse and skirt, which turned some heads at the party, and though you felt rather self-conscious in the beginning, you loosened up after a few drinks and dances. From there, you didn't care if people paid good or bad attention to you; all you wanted was to have fun with your best friends.

One of your friends introduced you to a gaggle of other first- and second-years, who were very loud and goofy, except for one; who had previously been laughing boisterously along with them until he set his eyes on you. He abruptly stopped laughing when you made eye contact, and you could have sworn he developed a light flush. With pouty lips and dark eyes, and a mop of fluffy black hair, he smiled shyly at you, nodding in acknowledgement and softly introducing himself. His voice was deep and had an attractive drawl and a pleasant raspiness. His name was Sunwoo, and you ingrained it into your memory easily, smiling shyly back at him. You mostly kept to yourself as the rest of them chatted, nursing your drink when a flurry of words and a loud slap shook you. You whipped around to see one of the boys, with cotton-candy hair and sharp feline eyes rubbing his arm and muttering under his breath next to Sunwoo, who was staring at you while whispering something to the boy - Eric, was it?

"Apologize!" Sunwoo hissed, nudging him. You tried to back off but Eric nervously came forward and rubbed his neck sheepishly, stuttering an apology while avoiding your eyes. He didn't specify what he was apologizing for, but you already had an inkling. All your friends were now staring at you, confused as to what had transpired. Unable to handle the stifling awkwardness, you quickly murmured "It's fine, Eric," before speedwalking away to get some fresh air, unaware that a certain dark-haired boy was scurrying after you. You turned to the nearest balcony and hurriedly gulped some fresh air to calm down, all-too-familiar feelings of panic and shame drowning you. You fought back tears, ignoring some of the smokers occupying the same space, who were looking at you with a mixture of confusion and pity. You managed to calm your breathing, and blink back tears, when a figure slowly comes to stand next to you. He doesn't look at you out of courtesy, fixing his gaze straight ahead. "Are you alright?" he asks softly. You nod firmly, trying to seem completely calm. "Eric... sometimes says things without thinking, but I know that's not an excuse. I just want to apologize again, for making you uncomfortable." His voice is gentle and soothing, and you tilt your head to face him, since he was a bit taller.

"It's not your fault, but thanks Sunwoo. And don't worry, parties aren't really my thing, I just came cause my friends were begging me to join them," you chuckle softly, to which Sunwoo gives you a lopsided grin.

"I feel you on that. I'm here to look after my idiot friends."

You share a good laugh, and spend the rest of the evening getting to know each other, but conversation comes easy, like you've known each other for years.

You and Sunwoo's paths seem to cross often, apparently because his faculty was right next to yours, and soon your friend groups merge and become one massive group, and you've even forgiven Eric. Days turned into months, casual meetups turned into lunch and movie dates, and soon you and Sunwoo are constantly switching back and forth staying over at each other's apartments.

Ever since you two started dating and you've gotten used to wearing more comfortable clothes around him, you've noticed him staring at your chest every now and then, but at least he had the decency to look apologetic and embarrassed whenever you catch him. You started to tease him, and he would bashfully hide his face and whine cutely. To get back at you, he'd purposely keep his hands cold and hug you out of nowhere, just to hear you squeal, knowing you're ticklish. Sometimes he'd be even bolder, trailing his hands up your sides and cupping your breasts under your shirt, especially when you walk around the house with no bra on. He'd do it when you're cuddling on the couch watching a movie, or worse, when you're trying to study. You didn't mind it usually, since you appreciated the support from his hands since the weight of your breasts takes a toll on your back, and you weren't fond of wearing a bra 24/7. Except the little shit likes to tease, jiggling them around and squeezing them when he's being extra playful, even grazing your nipples with his fingertips; chuckling lowly in your ear when you gasp or squirm in pleasure.

One night in bed, you confront him jokingly. Your period was on its way soon, and your breasts were feeling extra tender and swollen, something you had complained about, so your dear boyfriend very happily obliged, massaging them gently to ease your discomfort. After a while he gets bored, and starts prodding them, round eyes watching intently as they bounce. You can't help but laugh at how adorably fascinated he looks, so you ask him why he's so enamored by your boobs.

"They're just.. fun to play with, yknow? Bouncy and squishy. Can't help myself okay, you're just so perfect," Sunwoo grumbles, blushing again since he got caught.

"Yeah? What if I lose weight and they get smaller? Will you still like me then?" you ask, feeling rather self-conscious, irrational worries that he only likes you for your assets filling your mind. You try to ignore them, knowing your relationship with Sunwoo was much more than superficial, but trauma and bad memories keep causing you to doubt yourself.

"Of course I would!" Sunwoo gasps, reaching up to hold your face urgently but with such a tender gaze in his eyes. "It's still you, and you'll always be perfect, and I love you no matter what."

Tears welled up in your eyes when he said those words. Few people had treated you with such genuine kindness and you were so grateful to have him as your partner. You squished his cheeks together and pressed a kiss to his lips, surprising him. "I love you too, Sunwoo," you whispered, a small smile on your teary face. A cheeky grin slowly replaces the shock on his face. "Shall I show you just how much I love you?" he drawls, crawling on top of you, making you lay down on the bed. Sunwoo positions you to nestle comfortably against the pillows, helping you take your shirt off afterwards.

Your cheeks start to heat up at Sunwoo's intense gaze raking over your body, and your arms habitually come up to shield your breasts, but he's quick to catch them, gently pulling them away. "Don't be shy. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met, inside and out," he murmurs, making you blush even harder. He kisses you deeply, before trailing his lips down, pressing light kisses down your neck and across your chest, gently nipping at the skin just above your right nipple. He resumes massaging your breasts, admiring the way your face scrunches up cutely in pleasure, his warm hands on your skin making you sigh happily. He leans down again, tracing a circle around your areola, making you shiver. He teases you a little more, flicking your hardened nub with his tongue before finally latching on and suckling on it, rubbing it periodically with his tongue. His hands are still massaging your breasts, twisting and tugging on your other nipple.

He pulls off with a satisfied 'pop' when you whine, pleased with how raw and puffy your nipple has become, glistening with an abundance of his spit. He dives back down to subject your other nipple to the same treatment, but this time, his free hand creeps down your tummy and between your thighs. You moan when he grazes your clit with his fingertips, and you can feel his plush lips smirk into your skin, obviously proud of himself. You willingly part your legs, and he dips his middle finger straight into your folds, your juices coating his finger instantly. He raises his head to look at you, eyebrows raised cheekily. "So wet already, babe? Always knew your nipples were so sensitive," he chuckles, slowly pumping his finger in and out of you. You shut your eyes, the stimulation of his mouth on your chest and his hand on your pussy clouding your mind. He inserts another finger and pumps you faster while he drags his teeth against your puffy nipple, making you shiver and moan even louder.

He starts leaving hickeys and bites all over your decolletage, looking forward to seeing those pretty marks bloom purple tomorrow morning. Finally, he eases up on his ministrations on your chest, and focused on fucking you hard and fast with his fingers, slamming three digits into your core, gleefully watching the way your breasts jiggle from the impact. He glances up at your face, finding your head tossed back, soft mewls and moans falling from raw, bitten lips. You're clutching the bedsheets in a death grip as Sunwoo starts sucking on your clit as he fingers you. He sucks hard, nudging it with his tongue every so often as he slows down his thrusts, opting to scissor you open and drag his fingertips along your walls, rubbing hard against your g-spot when he finds it, indicated by your shrill yelp. "B-babe, gonna c-cum," you gasp, still writhing in pleasure. "Go on, love, cum for me," he mumbles against your core, and soon you're clenching on his fingers, coating them with your cum, and he continues to fuck you through your climax.

Gasping for air, you wince as he pulls his fingers out, pussy clenching on nothing as you watch him idly put them in his mouth, sucking them clean. He smiles lazily at you, telling you how sweet you taste and even gives you a kiss, making you taste yourself. Your cheeks turn crimson again, and you decide you want to return the favor, having felt his hard cock pressing against your thigh when he leaned down to kiss you. You eye the tent in his jeans, and start unbuckling his belt. He looks at you in alarm, grasping your hands to stop you. "Baby, you don't have to do that, this is about you," he smiles gently. You pout at him. "But I wanna help you too! I have an idea that I always wanted to try with you…" Sunwoo takes a moment to consider, making sure you were genuinely comfortable doing so, and his eyes glimmer with anticipation when he nods in agreement. You beam wordlessly at him, helping him out of his jeans and boxers. You can't help but lick your lips at the sight of his erect cock.

Sunwoo's dick always made you feel good, whether it was fucking your pussy or your throat, but you always wondered what it would feel like sliding between your bountiful breasts. You pull him up to straddle your chest, and his eyes widen when he realizes what you want him to do. "Really?" he gasps, dick twitching with excitement when you readily nod. He chokes on a moan when you swipe your finger up his cock, gathering his dripping precum to slather it between your breasts. He slowly slides his dick into the valley between your breasts as your hands push them together, making it even tighter around him, and he groans lowly. Sunwoo thrusts shallowly, loving the way the smooth skin of your breasts feels around his aching cock. He begins to take over, his larger, warmer hands replacing yours, squishing your tits together as he rocks his hips faster, becoming addicted to the the feeling. It wasn't much physical stimulation for you, but you felt yourself getting hot again watching his face contort in pleasure, his tightening grip on your tender, sensitive breasts rather arousing. You can't look away, mesmerized by how good he looks with his lower lip caught between his teeth, grunting softly as he uses your tits to get himself off.

"You look so hot like this Sunwoo," you murmur, your hand resting on his thigh as he continues to piston his hips. He barks out a breathless laugh, "Have you looked at yourself properly? You're fucking gorgeous, babe, don't you ever forget that. Although, I'm down to remind you all the time." he winks. You smirk at him, and your hands come up to squeeze his muscular ass, the same way he likes to squeeze your boobs. He's got a nice butt, you had to admit, toned and sculpted from years of various sports, and it was your weakness the same way your breasts were his. He moans louder when he feels you groping his ass, hips stuttering as he approaches his climax. He throws his head back as he fucks erratically, squishing your tits even tighter together and you keen at the rough treatment. You coax him in a soft whisper to cum all over your tits, and soon he does, painting your chest white as his hips slow down, and he's gasping for air. A little bit of his cum has spurted onto your lips, but you willingly lick it up and smile up at him, your hands still soothingly rubbing his cheeks as he comes down from his high.

You grab some wet tissues from your bedside drawers and clean up your chest as best as you could, wiping away all the cum before Sunwoo flops next to you, resting his head on your chest the way he usually loves to. You lay there in comfortable silence for a while more, stroking his hair and you feel him smile into your skin, his finger absentmindedly tracing the hickeys he's left across your breasts. Maybe going to that party all those months ago was the best decision you ever made (second only to moving here for college), and maybe you and Sunwoo finally get out of bed to shower, and maybe you go for a second round in the bathroom, filling the steamy air with echoes of wet skin slapping and soft proclamations of 'I love you's.

#achlys: tbz imagines #the boyz smut #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #the boyz #the boyz sunwoo #kim sunwoo #sunwoo smut

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loostssoul · 3 years

Text

if you kissed me - Rodrick Heffley | 1.9k

Yeah yeah i know i haven't written since a million years ago. and yeah yeah i know this is my first real fanfiction i posted on tumblr. fair warning, i'm not the best writer, i honestly just do this for fun and i'm totally up to criticism because i do want to make my writing better. if this is literally inaccurate, im sorry its been like 5 years since i've read the books. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this fluff-fest that I created in the span of a few hours.

paring: rodrick x reader genre: fluff. lots of fluff

Credits to the maker of the picture! 15 Days till the Contest | 9:42 PM, Saturday

Plick, plick, plick

My speakers were blasting so loud I almost didn’t hear the sound of pebbles hitting my window.

Plick, plick, plick

I rubbed my eyes and slammed my laptop shut, walking toward my bedroom window. Peering down, I saw a figure a few yards down from my second-story bedroom, looking back up at me. Dark brown, messy hair that stuck up around his face. A red and black flannel, black ripped jeans, and, (of course) a tee-shirt with “Loded Diper” clumsily written on it. A grin spread on his face as he saw my face come into his view, causing me to blush. Rodrick Heffley, Crossland High bad boy, and my boyfriend.

I unlocked the latch to my window and stuck my head out, taking in the cool air and letting the neighbors enjoy the music I was playing (they never did). I looked down.

“Y/N!” He whisper-yelled

“Evening, Heffley.”

“I need to tell you something!”

“What’s so important that you have to scratch my window instead of using the power of modern technology to call me?”

His mouth opened to give me a response, but nothing came out. I smirked, “Come on up.”

I opened the window wider as he climbed the trellis that lined the back of my house. I backed up to my door and locked it. Precautions, my parents liked Rodrick but they definitely wouldn’t approve of him in my room at night. I looked back and I saw him, every feature of him illuminated by the light of my room. His cheeky smile and chocolate brown eyes. He slowly closed the window and walked toward me, brushing a strand of hair out of my face. I still got butterflies whenever he touched me.

“Hey, Spiderman. What did ya climb in here to tell me?” I asked

“I got Loded Diper into a contest.”

My eyes widened, Loded Diper, my boyfriend’s rock band, wasn’t exactly known for being the best. It was mostly known for his mom’s insane dance moves during the Plainview Talent Show. But of course, i'll never say that in front of his face.

“You did?! That’s awesome Rodrick!”

“Yeah! It's a battle of the bands contest, we’re going against two other bands. I really think this is gonna be our big break!” His eyes sparkled in excitement.

His happiness was contagious, he was like a goddamn puppy. I pulled him into my arms. “I’m proud of you Rod.” I muttered and smiled into his collarbone. I felt him inhale the scent of my hair and twirl my locks around his fingers.

“Hey,” he said, breaking the hug. “I’m having practice tomorrow with the band, you wanna come?”

“Sure. I go to every practice anyway, why miss out on this one?” I shrugged.

He chuckled and looked at me. Really looked at me. That’s one of the reasons why I fell for him. It never seemed like it, but he paid attention. We’ve only been dating for 4 months, but he knew me like no one else did, and I knew that in the way he looked at me. I felt his hand cup my face, his thumb rubbing my cheek in small circles. I looked up at him, noticing how tall he was, how close he was. Was I the one who leaned in? Was he the one who leaned in? Did we just do it subconsciously? Did he want this? Was he ready? Was I ready?

The ringing of Rodrick’s phone filled the room. The daze we were trapped in was gone and we separated, our faces red. Rodrick picked up the phone, it was his mom.

“Yeah, mom? Mom...I’m in the middle of something. I’ll do laundry later, ok? Now? C’mon… Alright, fine. Bye.” He hung up. “Sorry, I gotta blast.”

“It’s fine, I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked him as he started toward my window.

He looked back at me and planted a kiss on my forehead, the farthest we’ve ever gone with physical touch as a couple.

“Tomorrow”

~~✰✰✰~~

14 Days till the Contest | 1:22 PM, Saturday afternoon

“Should we take it from the top?”

Practice wasn’t going so well. I could feel the nervousness, the tension. Drums were slightly off beat, the guitarist’s fingers would fly to the wrong places on the fretboard, lyrics would go all over the place. The contest was two weeks away, and Loded Diper was already feeling the anxiousness. I sat on the floor of the garage, on top of a picnic blanket I found. To Rodrick’s dismay, his mom forced him to let Greg watch band practice, as a form of “brother-to-brother bonding time.” Greg sat next to me, mockingly covering his ears.

“Oh thank god, it's done.” Greg said with an immense amount of sarcasm and uncovering his ears.

Rodrick threw a crumpled-up piece of paper at his head, “Shut up.”

“Both of you, be nice.” I laughed. “I think you guys should take a break for a while, maybe shake off the nerves.”

“Good idea Y/N, 20 minute break everyone!” The lead singer said. Everyone spread out, grabbing a piece of pizza ordered earlier and laying down. Greg ran out of the garage, yelling, “I’m free!”

Rodrick stood up and began gulping down a bottle of water. He wore a black tanktop and black ripped jeans, sweat dripping down his forehead. I ran up behind him and wrapped my arms around his torso. He turned and faced me, running his hands through my hair, lost in thought.

“You ok, Rod?” I asked him.

He sighed, “nerves”

I leaned my head on his chest, “You’re gonna do great, you’ve done so many gigs in the past. Think of this as one of those!”

He smiled at me, “You know what would make me feel a lot less nervous?”

“Oh god. What?”

A really common thing Rodrick did was try to bargain a kiss on the lips from me. It's been an ongoing joke, a meaningless bit he did all the time. I’ll do my homework if you kissed me on the lips. I’ll smile in the picture if you kissed me on the lips. It still hasn’t worked.

“I might be less nervous if you kissed me on the lips.” He whispered to me.

I rolled my eyes, “If that’s what it takes then I think you’ll lose the competition.”

He let go of me and laughed, my favorite laugh. “Worth a try.” He shrugged, going off to join his bandmates and the pizza. But as I watched him smile and laugh with his friends, I lost myself. I thought about the previous night. The way we fit into each other, the closeness, the fact that was so close that I could see my reflection in his eyes.

Maybe I should just say yes.

~~✰✰✰~~

The Day of the Contest

For the past 2 weeks, Rodrick has given me the “kiss-bargain” joke 9 times. Every time, I deflected it with sarcastic remarks, and every time I regretted not agreeing.

I sat on the front steps of my porch, waiting for Rodrick to pick me up. I regretted the jean shorts and plain black tee-shirt I had on, as a cold breeze brushed my skin. I pulled my black leather jacket on, which I painted “Loded Diper” on the back in white paint. Then, I heard it. The echo of heavy metal turned to full blast, and… the faint sound of something big getting knocked over. Oh god, they’re here. The white van with “Loded Diper” written in huge words screeched to a halt in front of my house.

The window rolled down, revealing my boyfriend and his excited grin. “Get in.”

~~✰✰✰~~

30 minutes till Loded Diper preforms

It felt surreal to be backstage, and really exciting. Energy was flowing through the room, as all the other bands talked and played. The rest of the band members seemed excited, full of adrenaline. Except for Rodrick, he’s been nervous ever since soundcheck. His leg was bouncing,he twirled his drumsticks around, drumming them on random objects, and his eyes stared into nothing.

“Rodrick, you want me to do your eyeliner?”

“Huh?” He didn’t take his eyes away from the ground, his voice seemed far away.

I lifted a liquid eyeliner pen I had in my pocket, “Eyeliner. I just did mine, we can match!”

He lifted his head and noticed me. I had my eyeliner smudged, just like he always does during a gig. He grinned, “Yeah. Yeah sure.”

I’ve done his eyeliner many times in the past, and I loved doing it because I had to be as close to him as possible. So I hopped onto his lap, pressing myself close to him, trying to comfort him with my warmth.

“Close your eyes.” I ordered.

As I applied his eyeliner, I could feel his heartbeat against my chest. It was heavy, and fast. I’m pretty sure I would still hear it if I wasn’t as close to him as I was, even though the loud music blasting through the theatre.

“Done”

He opened his eyes, and butterflies flooded my stomach. We were close. Very close. Should I do it? Should I lean in?

Rodrick probably sensed my flustered-ness. He smirked, “Cat got your tongue?”

I rolled my eyes, blushing hard. “Shut up.” I said, playfully punching him.

~~✰✰✰~~

“5 Minutes until Loded Diper performs!” A man exclaimed to us.

Rodrick was as nervous as ever. We’ve been standing on the left wing of the stage, watching the other bands play. It felt like a bunch of Loded Diper copy-pastes. A bunch of high schoolers, weird names, very aggressive playing. But they were still pretty good. Rodrick was biting the nails of one of his hands and tapping his other hand on the wall behind him. I looked up at him and held his hand, stopping it from fidgeting. He smiled nervously.

Now or never Y/N…

“Hey, you said that if I kiss you, you won’t be as nervous. Right?”

He looked at me, wide eyed. He seemed to be trying to compute what I said.

I stood on tiptoe and put his face in my hands. It was that night all over again. Every detail of his face, of him was in full view. His eyes, his eyeliner, his scent, his lips. I leaned in.

His lips were soft against mine, but they were tense, flustered. I was terrified, It was the wrong place, the wrong time. Until I felt one hand in my hair, another on my waist, pulling me closer.

How long was the kiss? A few seconds? It felt like minutes, hours. Sparked ignited. Butterflies flew in my stomach. His scent was the only thing I smelled, his warmth was the only thing I felt. The music faded away. Everything faded away. It was just him and I. Until we broke apart, taking in deep breaths of each other. We wanted more, but Loded Diper was playing in a few seconds.

“Hey, Rodrick.”

“Yeah?”

“If you win I’ll kiss you again”

We both knew I would kiss him regardless.

I didn't edit this because editing is for wimps (just kidding be responsible and edit your work)

please like and reblog because it gives me serotonin and i need that

#rodrick x reader #rodrick heffley #diary of a wimpy kid #rodrick rules #diary of a wimpy kid rodrick #fanfiction #rodrick heffley x reader #doawk #devon bostick

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symptoms-syndrome · 2 years

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There's a certain Way I've found many (mostly younger) people talk about mental health that's just so infuriating to me, and I think I've finally been able to pin down why. Firstly it feels very self centered, but it's also generally very New. Someone goes to college and develops depression, or just figured out they have trauma, or what have you. Secondly it's relatively (relatively) manageable, it's stressful and maybe you drop a class or two and make a comic about it or something.

But I think that really infuriates me, and triggers me to be honest, is what this sort of talk means when I'm in the room, when it's directed at me (exclusively or as part of an audience/conversation with others)

Generally, one of two assumptions is made. The first is more uncommon, but it's that I am a Neurotypical™ and thus could never understand The Struggle. Generally this has only been asserted when I've challenged something someone has said. The second is that I'm Just Like Them, after all we both have [insert thing here, often autism as I feel I am somewhat obviously social cue deficient] so we must be the same! But their experience is like. Not at all like mine. And there's no way to correct either assumption without giving out information I would prefer not to give.

Not to mention a lot of people I've met who are Like This need to be the most struggling person in the room, obviously none of their audience could ever be on the same level of horrible, awful mental health crises they experience, none of us could ever understand. Which can be awful frustrating to listen to from someone who just now started suspecting something might be wrong with them when I've been told there's something extremely wrong with me since I was like. Single digits. Like you think you're autistic now because you like weighted blankets and kids TV? That's cool n valid n all but I was harshly punished for rocking back and forth and not being able to be in loud rooms. Like not even trying to do any trauma Olympics just acknowledge that not everyone has this sparkling clean, frogcore experience with autism or whatever.

IDK it just feels. Bad. Seeing ppl all happy to start trying "happy flapping" when I was told to sit on my hands until they went numb. I'm glad they find joy in it, and I'm not even ashamed of being autistic or anything, it's just so utterly unrelatable to me while being treated as some Universal Experience.

Also there's a general theme that showed up in something else today of people mistaking my having worked on myself and made progress as me not having started yet, if that makes sense. Like I'm not curbing my talk about my SpIn because I haven't unpacked my whatever I'm doing it because I've learned how to have good back-and-forth conversation and not "hog the mic" so other people can talk about their interests, too. Or like, I'm not saying I don't want to talk to you about my trauma details/mental illness/etc because I'm "not ready to come to terms with it" I'm saying that because I've recognized that I don't generally gain anything useful from strangers regarding things I've been working on with friends, loved ones and my therapist for years.

I guess for context the other thing I was thinking about was that, when going around and giving names/pronouns, I mentioned I use "any pronouns" and someone said something along the lines of "ugh, I used to be like that but too many people used she and it was gross" and I'm like. Okay? Good for you, but I'm not new to this game. I don't need your help to discover I'm actually a he/they. I've been around the block and I've come to the conclusion, after years of experimentation, that I really am fine with any pronouns. You don't get to decide what you think I want/is best for me.

#dont rb pls #ask to tag

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