symptoms-syndrome

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Kind of thought I was over the despair about being treated like a dog because of the sexualizing it/bad dog -> fun puppy pipeline but lately I have been Tormented by being a bad dog.

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me trying to convince myself that the whole spectrum of human emotions is a good and necessary thing to feel even if its not comfortable while im actively experiencing emotions that make me feel like my bones are being dissolved in acid

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i must not stir the pot. stirring the pot is the notifications-killer. participation in the discourse is the little-death that brings total activity obliteration. i will face the bad opinions on the internet. i will permit them to pass over me and through me. and when they have gone past, i will turn the block button onto their source. where the discourse has come from there will be nothing. only i will remain.

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dog metaphors are all about devotion, devotion to a person, a concept, a place etc, to be a dog is to be devoted.

there are three types of dogs

dog 1: pet dogs; loyal and devout, they follow after the object of their devotion desperately even when it is not reciprocated or out of their reach. they are usually (but not always), somewhat innocent (think puppy love). they are below or believe themselves to be below the devoted in terms of power/worth/status etc, at the end of the day they are just someone's dog. they feel they are owned by who or what they are devoted to, whether enforced by them or by their "owner" differs. some are naturally selfless and obsessive, others bullied into submission, some are mix of both.

dog 2: guard dogs; aggressive and loyal, protector and/or provider in some way, (think knight and king dynamic) use anger and violence as an expression of love and devotion, either prone to harming who/what they are devoted to or are dedicated to the protection of it in all forms. this varies depending on the morality of the characters. low morality guard dogs are possessive and challenge their devotion using violence and threat to gain control. others are valiant and heroic, usually with a strong moral code that will not be broken. they are often bad at communication and addressing their own emotions, choosing to speak through their actions rather than using words.

dog 3: wild or wolf-like dogs, at their core they are a large animals that are unaware of their strength and size, their displays of love and affection, although genuine and passionate, can end up harming or negatively impacting the objects of their devotion, (think dogs showing affection through biting not realising the sharpness of their teeth), usually impulsive, controlled by emotions and erratic, they are volatile and often illogical. to love and be loved by them is dangerous. violence is a natural or taught characteristic of theirs that is inherent and inescapable. these characters often don’t intend to cause harm and when they do it’s usually from an un-calculated place of impulsive destruction or an emotional outburst.

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Not to be Marxist on main (or side I guess) as my first post in a long while but class really is the defining factor huh. Class really is the biggest reason that I can't relate to and often resent other traumatized people online. Our experiences are so so so different even though you think they are the same.

#not about anyone here BTW #race is the second factor usually

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I'm so tired of the type of post which acts like being an introvert means being a deep, intelligent, real person and being an extrovert means being a simple, "stupid", superficial person. Because whether you recharge alone or with others says NOTHING about any of that

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Honey Ginger Jacyln

🐱 Selkirk Rex

📸 Marina Dmitrenko [Honey Ginger]

🎨 Chocolate Tortoiseshell Bicolor

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your friends & partners will actually love it if you enforce your boundaries b/c then they will never again need to guess if they're ever making you uncomfortable & don't know. healthy living tip :)

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some of y'all need to learn how to accept hospitality. stop assuming people are only offering to look after you out of twisted obligation that they don't actually want to do. when you assume that, you are often denying someone the opportunity to genuinely show a friend or stranger love. even if you don't really care about what they're offering, it's respectful of their desire to be kind to accept it anyways.

i had a bunch of girls i've never met over for a women's group. every single one of them denied my offer to make them tea (despite already making myself a mug anyways), get them water, a scone, etc.

i can tell when people refuse to let me be a good host because they "don't want to be a bother". like no!! please be a bother!!! i want to serve you and make you comfortable in my home!

not to be like "we live in a society" but really do live in a modern culture than emphasizes individualism to the point where people will reflexively deny any help or kindness from others for fear of treading on their independence. newsflash: dependence on each other is what makes a community. next time someone offers you kindness, accept it instead of making excuses for why you don't need it. otherwise you've robbed both yourself of being loved and someone else from showing love.

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this is kind of changing my life as we speak

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You should cut autistic people some slack when it comes to being blunt, not understanding social cues, or not understanding social norms.

But.

If somebody is being a dick to you, if they’re flirting with you and won’t stop when you ask them to, if they’re being really inappropriate or invasive, it doesn’t matter that they’re autistic! You’re allowed to be uncomfortable with that.

I am autistic and sometimes I do have trouble with social interactions. I often cannot detect sarcasm unless it’s clear from context, I can’t always tell when something is a joke or when somebody is exaggerating, I often can’t tell what people are ‘saying’ if they don’t say it outright, and, though I try to guess anyway, it is extremely taxing and confusing for me.

But that doesn’t mean I can walk around stomping on everybody’s boundaries after they make them explicitly known to me.

I have read far too many stories of specifically some autistic men being completely inappropriate around women, only for the women to be told something along the lines of, “he can’t control it, he’s autistic.” If he can independently go places, he should be able to learn to stop when you say to stop. If he really can’t learn that, then he needs more support (maybe a carer to be out with him and to help him navigate social situations), but, either way, it is completely unacceptable to write off sexual harassment or bigoted behaviour just because somebody is autistic.

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wingbeats

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I engage in gossip like I engage in cigarettes, which is to say it's a temptation that I sometimes give into in small doses at bars when offered to me or when I'm really stressed out.

Anyway one of my biggest pet peeves is when I want to engage in a Small Gossip, just a puff of someone's cigarette, and they start fucking chain-smoking the entire pack. Girl I don't care about how you hate every single club and event and bitch in this city.

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Chag Purim sameach!

Ty anon!!! I'm gonna make raspberry hamentaschen :3

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text transcribed under readmore

SMALL DOG SYNDROME 

small dog you’re so funny when you snap small dog you’re so funny when you shake small dog you’re so bad when you bark small dog you never learned the rules

small dog lays flat on the floor  and sighs and whines  while it waits for you to come back from wherever you go  all day small dog doesn’t know if you’re coming home small dog hides under the bed to puke does it quiet eats its shame before you ever smell it  small dog’s bark is worse than its bite  small dog you are so funny when you bite  small dog it’s so funny when you’re mad  so by all means pick it up throw it around  lock it in a cage while you laugh small dog you are so funny when you cry

small dog can’t remember being a wolf  can’t remember being big  howling in harpstring harmony  like a plucked and quivering note in a catacomb  sleeping in a warm pile of bodies in a dry place that smells like family  the taste of fresh hot blood and wet bone iron fire honey salt 

small dog run free beneath the moon in your dreams

small dog is so happy you’re home!! small dog loves you!!!

JMGD

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everybody wants to be the perfect victim but the truth is that abuse and trauma make you a worse person (and that's okay). we can all readily admit to depression and anxiety but what about exaggerated self importance in the form of neuroticism, or how believing in your own victimhood makes you think your feelings are more important than others'? what about envy and jealousy, and constant distrust? what about volatile emotional reactions, however you justify them to yourself? these things actually hurt real people who matter. i am guilty. i want to change.