#so i'm like??? i should be able to deal with this. i'm used to it. pretty much every second of every day my body feels like i'm being | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dira333 · 2 days

Note

kenma!!! for your plot bunny game hehe

You're being a lil meanie for requesting him *pouty face* I don't know what this is. He deserves so much better than I'm being able to write.

🐈.🐈.🐈.🐈.🐈.🐈.🐈.🐈.🐈.🐈.🐈.🐈.🐈.🐈.🐈.🐈.🐈.🐈.🐈.

It's impossible.

You cannot sit next to Kenma without wanting to touch him.

But also cannot touch him, because that would be weird, wouldn't it?

The back of the cab feels tiny and enormous at the same time.

Kenma's thigh is pressed against yours and his elbow digs into your arm everytime he moves, which is often, because he keeps playing a game on his phone to pass the time.

If Kuroo on your right is saying something, you don't hear it. You're too busy thinking about the fact that Kenma is touching you and you are touching Kenma and that his hair is really pretty in the flickering light of the streetlamps and how it would feel like if you touched it and-

Someone shoves his hand unceremoniously between the two of you and opens your seatbelt. You flinch and look up, face Kuroo's knowing, teasing grin. Oh no.

The only free seat left is next to Kenma. Of course.

You're not sure how you're going to survive a whole movie pressed against him, because you will be, because Bokuto always takes up more space than necessary, usually ending up with his head in your lap and his feet crossed over Akaashi's.

Maybe that will give you something to do, to distract yourself and you're right. It's a little bit easier to deal with Kenma being so close yet so far away when you're playing absentmindedly with Bokuto's hair. And it gives you the added bonus of him falling asleep, offering you half a movie without his incessant commentary.

Not that that matters, because close to the end Kenma's head sinks to the side, pressing heavily against your shoulder blade. You stop breathing for a whole minute, all your blood flooding to the scene of the crime. Maybe, if you'll never move again, you could stay like this?

You like the timbre of his voice, the honesty of his comments, the fact that his eyes never seem to miss a thing.

He's generous and helpful, never once complaining when everyone uses his house to crash or celebrate in.

If you dared to think about it, maybe you'd dare to tell him how you feel.

"What are you even scared of?" Kuroo asks over lunch one day, slipping out of his role as your supervisor like it's just another one of his suits.

"Being myself," you answer because the past has taught you to be wary.

"Are you okay?"

Kenma's face is pale, his eyes are moving left and right at a speed that's dizzying, even to you.

The mall is packed and the air is thick with perfume from a nearby vendor. For a moment you're not sure if he's going to faint or run off and before you can stop yourself, your hand takes his.

His skin is cold and slick with sweat, but his fingertips dig into your hand, squeezing so tight it should probably hurt.

You pull him in, acting on instinct and addiction more than anything else, needing him to be closer, closer, closer. And safe.

His face settles in the crook of your neck, your free hand rubbing over his back.

"Wanna get out?" You ask. He nods, his chin knocking into your chest.

His hand doesn't leave yours. When you urge him into the passenger seat he pulls you in with him until you're both crammed into the small space, you on his lap, his face pressed into your side.

You sit like that for a while, not speaking.

In all honesty, you're impressed you're acting this normal about it, when all you've been dreaming about lately is to slip into his skin, to be closer to him than humanly possible.

Eventually though, Kenma's breath evens out.

You drag a hand through his hair, guilt sitting heavy in your stomach. Should you really touch him like this when he just went through something like that?

"Hungry?" You ask. "I have a fruit snack in my purse."

He nods slowly, though he doesn't move otherwise.

"Sorry I just touched you like that," you mutter.

"I like it," he says, voice a little muffled.

The realization hits you a little sooner than him and you gasp, only to feel him dig his hands into your sides.

"Kuroo said you've got a crush on me too," he rushes to add, not yet showing his face, "if that's a lie, just say so and we'll forget this ever happened, okay?"

"It's not a lie."

Kenma's sitting in your lap. He's heavy and warm and his head is snuggled right against your collarbone in a way that must be torture for his back but neither of you is complaining.

"You're so gross!" Kuroo points out from the other side of the Couch. "Some people are single around here."

"Hey," Bokuto exclaims loudly, "I said not to make fun of it."

You ignore both of them, your left hand creeping up Kenma's back under his hoodie. He snorts lightly, shivering against the touch. He's ticklish.

Maybe, if you were alone together, you'd put your whole head under the hoodie, slip into it and share it with him.

But that can wait until later.

#plotbunny game #dira.asks #kenma x reader #kenma #kenma fluff #kenma kozume #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x you

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t3a-tan · 3 days

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Ooh! 2 for tiny James and human Oliver? (I'm so curious to see how you'd make that situation happen 😭)

2. “So are you just going to keep me in a jar forever, or…?”

Although it did take a minute to figure out a situation that Oliver might trap James in a jar I had a lot of fun with this one hehe

From this!

-----

Since James had gotten more comfortable around Oliver he had also been getting more reckless.

Oliver could remember the first time the borrower took a leap off of the counter, shouting something about a ‘trust fall’. Thankfully he caught him before he could get injured, but that only spurred the man on more… At first Oliver fretted every time, but soon enough it became like a routine.

After realising that James's reckless behaviour was a sign of his trust in him, Oliver became fond of those sorts of interactions. He could usually tell when James would start being more impulsive like that, and the borrower would also avoid messing around too much if Oliver was trying to focus.

Today Oliver was filling in a bunch of forms, flipping between various files and writing notes down for different referrals. He was focused and a bit tired because of how long it was all taking. Even so, he minimised any distractions so he could dedicate himself to the task at hand.

James didn't get the memo clearly.

Oliver was filling the forms in at the kitchen island, and as he worked and sipped on his cup of tea he was suddenly made aware of James’s presence when the borrower climbed onto the island counter.

“What are you up to, mate?” He asked, curiously, moving closer to the forms and inspecting them with a discerning gaze. Oliver had learned that James wasn't able to read and only recognized certain words and phrases for survival purposes, so it was no wonder he didn't understand what he was doing. Still, Oliver was tired from the repetitive task and trying to focus.

“It's for work.” He responded simply, using his right hand to gently shoo the borrower off of the files, worried that they might get footprints on them and he'd have to reprint the papers and fill them in all over again. Oliver yawned slightly, squinting down at the forms with exhaustion. “Can't chat at the moment. Perhaps tomorrow…?”

James bristled at the sight of the giant hand shooing at him, frowning and raising an eyebrow at the human. He looked tired… Why would he keep working if it's making him tired?

“Maybe you should take a break?” He pointed out, moving closer again, not really seeing the importance in all these papers and words… It couldn't hurt to stop for a bit, could it? Oliver certainly seemed like he needed it.

The human shook his head with a hum, continuing to write undeterred by James's advice. James narrowed his eyes slightly before thinking to himself about how he could get his friend to see reason. It wasn't healthy to just stare at paper for that long, surely… Getting a great idea he smirked to himself, side-stepping towards the edge of the counter closest to where Oliver was sitting, before jumping off.

Oliver snapped awake immediately, jolting and quickly catching James before he could reach the floor, falling back off of the stool in the process. He cupped his hands together around James to shield him, but that left him with no hand to brace his fall. He groaned in pain as he fell onto the hardwood floor, nothing broken, but his body wasn't exactly thanking him either.

“James…” He began with a scolding tone as he opened up his hands, revealing the dishevelled borrower and a cheeky smile on his face. Oliver's heart was still racing from the scare— he thought for a moment that he wouldn't be able to catch him in time. “I almost didn't catch you. Why would you do that?”

“But you did.” James pointed out, much to Oliver's frustration. He didn't have the capacity to deal with stuff like this when he was doing time sensitive work and was already exhausted. James shook off the slightly miffed look in the human's eyes, despite how it made his instincts scream in protest. “And like I said, you need a break. Didn't mean to make you fall though…”

Oliver sat up more with a small groan, his back still aching from the sudden fall.

“I don't have time for a break tonight. I apologise, but you need to leave me to my work.” He managed to retain his composure for the most part, trying to emphasise that he needed to focus. He couldn't focus if James was going to be chucking himself off of every surface, whether he was trying to help or not. He stood up.

“Well if you're not gonna take a break, I guess I'll have to keep jumping off until you do.” James insisted stubbornly, crossing his arms. Oliver squinted at him for a moment, trying to figure out if he was telling the truth or not because he knew James was a very sarcastic person and he usually didn't pick up on it. With a sigh, he placed James back down on the counter and sat down again.

“If you do that, I'm not against putting you in a jar for the time being whilst I get my work done.” He responded, just in case James was indeed telling the truth. He hoped it would dissuade the borrower, but as he picked his pen up again James did just as he said he would.

Oliver was faster to catch him this time, and even managed to stay seated, but his frown only deepened at the childish behavior his friend was exhibiting. He knew that most borrowers probably lacked an understanding of jobs and how important they were, but he thought James would be at least a little more respectful.

Fine. I did warn him, so he already accepted the consequences beforehand.

Standing up, Oliver walked over to the drawer he kept empty jars in— usually they would be for him to fill with homemade preserves and spices, but tonight they would be filled with a borrower. He pulled one of the taller one's out and placed it onto the counter with a ‘tink’.

“Woah woah— y-you weren't being serious, right Oliver?” James suddenly began to kick at his fingers in protest, but Oliver was too tired to register the very real fear in his friend's movements.

“I’ll let you out when I'm done. It should only take a few hours.” He assured, lowering his hand to the mouth of the jar, tilting it so that James would slide in without any risk of falling and injuring himself. Once he was in the jar Oliver set it down and sat down at the island again, getting to work.

“Oliver! Let me out!” The borrower banged his fists against the glass fruitlessly, panicking slightly at the feeling of being trapped. He can't be serious. He won't actually leave me in here, right?

But as Oliver ignored his shout and picked up his pen, James felt his throat go dry. Oliver was always no nonsense, but he would never go this far… Unless he was actually starting to get sick of him? James sat down at the bottom of the jar silently, watching Oliver write.

After a few hours Oliver didn't let him out— he had fallen asleep at the island counter before finishing, and though James made a few attempts to get him to wake up it didn't work. He was getting more anxious the more time that passed, resigning himself to his fate in the jar for however long Oliver decided to keep him in.

Oliver woke up with his neck aching terribly from the way he had been leaning over and lying his head on the cold hard counter. He yawned, blinking slowly as his surroundings become more clear the more he woke up. Oh. I must have fallen asleep before I finished. What time is it?

He checked his watch, squinting at the numbers. 5:30 AM. That's enough time to finish. He reached towards the pen at his right only to straighten up in surprise at the sight that greeted him. Everything suddenly came rushing back, and Oliver was hit with a wave of guilt as he made eye contact with James, who looked so small huddled in the corner of the jam jar.

“So are you just going to keep me in a jar forever, or…?”

Oliver's eyes widened at the defeated tone James was speaking in, concern furrowing his brows as he leaned down to peer at his friend through the glass, dropping the pen immediately.

“Stars… Of course I'm not, James. I'm sorry, I… I must have fallen asleep.” He shook his head, expression becoming serious although riddled with guilt. “I shouldn't have trapped you in the first place. I wasn't thinking as clearly as I should have been…”

As he reached for the jar he paused again, thinking better of picking James up right now after what he did. He might be scared of me. I would deserve as much…

“Is physical contact okay? Or should I just tilt the jar over?” Part of him was still hopeful that he hadn't broken James's trust enough that he would be uncomfortable with being touched. They had been doing so well after all; Oliver didn't want James to feel like he needed to go back into hiding again… But he would respect it if that was the case.

James seemed to hesitate before averting his gaze guiltily.

“Just…tilt it, please mate.” His voice made it clear that he hadn't slept at all— probably kept awake thinking his friend had suddenly betrayed him.

Oliver nodded slowly and reached forward again, carefully turning the jar so that the borrower could walk out by himself. Once that was done he stood up and put the jar back away in the drawer, gaze lingering on it for a few extra moments.

What does he think of me now?

James watched as Oliver walked around to the other side of the island, staring at his back and thinking to himself. He was still pretty upset about being trapped for so long, and by all means he should be packing up and leaving immediately. But Oliver sounded genuinely remorseful…and honestly, James had never had a friend before. He didn't want to give that up.

He continued to watch as the human sat back down, glancing him up and down for a couple of moments. James took a breath before running and jumping off of the counter, just as he had last night. Please catch me please catch me—

“James!” Oliver's alarmed voice boomed, and James was relieved to feel warm hands close around him. He should feel mortified, but all he could do was smile when he was raised up to his friend's eye level. “I…should I put you down..?” He asked, a hint of nervousness in his furrowed expression.

“Nah.” James replied, patting the thumb beside him. “But you should take that break.”

#g/t community #ocs #g/t artist #ask box #g/t writer #g/t #oc asks #borrowers #ask #giant/tiny #g/t writing #g/t angst #g/t fluff #giant/tiny writing

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ravenstargames · 3 days

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✦ Lost in Limbo Devlog #12 | 06.09.24

And it's time! 💜 Another month, another devlog, and this one comes with great news!

First of all, we FINALLY settled everything with our studio's bank account, which means we can start sending the necessary documentation to Steam so the demo can be approved. Beta testing has almost ended and all that's left is a bit more of anxious revisions and getting the paperwork together.

We will announce the demo release date very very soon; as soon as we can announce our Steam page! We are hoping that can be settled this upcoming week, but let's see what happens. As the finishing line approaches, we have less to show mainly because we are saving some juicy things for our Kickstarter Pre-Release, so bear with us for a minute! ; v ;

Also, let's be real—paperwork is boring. No one wants to read about me fist-fighting Steam or the Spanish government.

So let's jump into it! 💜

PD: I have a lot of asks left to reply to, so let me apologize for being a bit on the slower side! T_T

This month, for mermay, we got a wonderful shrimp prince! 🧡

Seriously, though; he's supposed to be a lionfish, but the shrimp joke was too funny. Just look at this shrimpy beauty! 🦐

When it comes to the sprites, Raquel wants to add some touches to a few expressions, but she's now focusing on getting our merch art ready. We are so so excited to be able to show it! :')

🎉🎉All the backgrounds have been finished!🎉🎉

Well, all the assets have been finished, should I say! Everything is animated, programmed, and ready to go.

Programming wise, the beta testing process has been going great. Special thanks to Allie, our editor, and Lem (@crescencestudio) for offering their help in beta testing the demo! Also, A.J, Narjs, and Ela, our other beta testers that have given us invaluable feedback! 💜 I think we are almost finished; we are still waiting for one of our VAs to deliver their lines, and I want to give another round of testing to the mac version of the game.

The mobile version will most likely come later than the PC one, as it's stated in our masterpost! 💜 I'll start working on it as soon as the remaining voicelines are incorporated and the betatesting for the PC version is completely finished.

This month we started to reveal our amazing cast! 💜 So far you've met Amon (Brian Vaughn), Envy (Aaron Moy), Xal (Francfil Pontañeles) and our Mysterious Seer (Callum Sanders). Everyone has been wonderful to work with, and we can't wait for you to meet them all in game!

We are also starting work on our teaser trailer; if we are lucky, we'll be able to work with a wonderful artist!

We are sorry this devlog is a bit on the boring side—what's left for us is deal with the hell that is founding a studio and publishing a game. Taxes, build distributions, taxes, taxes, paperwork, reading lots of scary stuff...At the end of the day, we are just four little cryptids trying to stay afloat. I'm very proud of how far we've come, but now that things are getting very serious, I can't help but to shake in my boots a little! T^T

Our demo release date announcement is very, very close. We haven't said anything about it yet because we want to be certain everything is in order and as perfect as possible for the release. We know that's impossible (I mean, being first-timers, stuff is prone to happen), but we want to work as hard as we can to avoid oopsies.

And that's it, folks! We hope we can keep coming at you with good news, and we are very excited (and terrified) of what's to come. Thank you so so much for your support, for sending us asks, for your lovely comments, and for being interested in our game.

As always, please take care, stay hydrated and healthy, remember to eat and take breaks, and make sure to give yourself some love today! 💜

#lost in limbo #visual novel #otome #interactive fiction #oelvn #devlog

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vladdyissues · 3 days

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Hi, I'm asking this question because I'm genuinely afraid. I want to post art I did/I commissioned a different artist of Pompous Pep on my blog, but I'm terrified of others attacking me. I've always liked this ship since I was kid and didn't it was considered taboo until I was older. How do you deal with hate? Would it be better to post on a side blog? My main DP AU does have Pompous Pep when Danny is in his early to mid 20s.

I answered a similar ask here, but this one also deserves its own answer. Here are some things you can do to protect yourself from hate:

✦ Turn off anonymous asks. That curbs 99.9999% of abuse, because haters are too chickenshit to send stuff that they can get reported for and possibly have their account terminated. If you do decide to open anonymous asks at some point and receive hate, you can still report it. More on blocking here.

✦ Make sure you tag your post with "pompous pep" so those who love the ship can find it and those who have the tag blocked can avoid it.

✦ As you can see, there are quite a few of us Pompep fans here on Tumblr, and it's good to be part of a community. Being able to laugh off anon hate with one another is a superb morale-booster. (If you spend any amount of time on Discord, DM me. We have a server, and you'd be very welcome there.)

Bottom line: Haters will always find a reason to hate something they don't like. You can never "perform" purely enough to please them, so don't even try. If you age up Danny and Vlad, they'll still bitch about the age gap. If you make them the same age, they'll bitch about the "toxic dynamic" of Enemies to Lovers. If you make an AU where they've always been friends and are the exact same age, they'll still accuse you of Shipping Crimes™ because it's still the same characters—even if all the obstacles that made the ship problematic have been removed. All you'll do is wear yourself out trying to conform to their standards, so just say "fuck em" and do what you want.

Me, personally, I've been in fandom too long to be bothered by anon hate. I report them, block them, and delete the message, and I don't waste any more energy than necessary. I also follow the golden rule of Don't Feed the Trolls. Haters thrive on attention, and if they get no response from you, they'll eventually give up their attack and move on.

I'm sorry that the actions of an idiotic, vocal minority have made you afraid to participate in fandom activities. No one should ever feel that way. Just remember that you're not alone. Almost all of us Pompep fans have dealt with negativity at some point in our lives, but that hasn't stopped us at all. We're still here, and we'll always be here.

✦ As for sideblogs, they're great if you want to keep certain stuff separate from your main blog, but it's totally up to you. Just keep in mind, if you want to block anyone from seeing your sideblog, it must be done from the Blog Settings of that particular sideblog. More on sideblogs here.

I hope this post answered your questions and eased some of your fears. If you have any further comments or questions, you know how to reach me :)

#asks #pompous pep #[tumblr]#dealing with anon hate #antis #blocking #sideblogs #info

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antiadvil · 3 days

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what are some phancoded songs?

okay i have been sitting on this for a while bc i feel like all of my suggestions are basic but i've been emboldened by the recent phan song posting. a lot of the songs on my phlaylist i added because i associate them with wad/ii/etc but here are the ones i can actually lyrically defend:

the tortured poet's department (taylor swift): look. this song is way more toxic than i usually like to imagine dan and phil. but some lyrics are just SO. look.

But you're in self-sabotage mode Throwing spikes down on the road But I've seen this episode and still loved the show

imagine: it is 2010. dan is saying he doesn't know if he and phil should move in together because phil makes him too happy and complacent in life. self sabotage mode!! throwing spikes down on the road!!

Who else decodes you? And who's gonna hold you like me? And who's gonna know you, if not me?

like. when you just click with someone. and you're like: this is it for me. if they leave me i will never love or be loved again. one of the things i like about this song is just how intense it is- i think it captures the intensity of their relationship (especially their early relationship) or at least, the intensity i feel about their relationship lmao

I chose this cyclone with you

this is probably my favorite lyric on the song and i think it's something many mentally ill people want to hear from our partners: you're an intense, dramatic mess, but you're my intense, dramatic mess, and i love you.

they don't know about us (one direction): okay this one is a little more self explanatory and like, thank god, because if i go to that level of depth on every song i'm going to be here all night.

They don't know about the things we do They don't know about the I love you's But I bet you, if they only knew (They don't know) They would just be jealous of us They don't know about the up all nights They don't know I've waited all my life Just to find a love that feels this right (They don't know) Baby, they don't know about, they don't know about us

like. you get it right? it's just. it's just them

that's so us (allie x): this one is sooo basic but i just had to put it. "we've been a wreck together since 2009." <3333333333

danny don't you know (ninja sex party) just has some really crazy parallels lmao, i saw someone use its lyrics once for a gifset and i was never able to unsee it:

Hey little Danny, don’t you cry I am you from much later in your life I know your hair is wild, I know you have no style

Danny, don’t you know that you are cool as fuck on the inside? You’re just going through an awkward phase from 12 to 29

Now you’re on tour and they want more! You step on stage and they come alive No one cares that you’re 35 You’re a rock star on a centaur! Where'd he get a centaur? You’re still a nerdy kid inside But now you’ve finally found your tribe Hear the crowd roar! Give ‘em what they came for!

like!!! they even got the hair!!! (dan has always had a sense of style though i think. not always a good one. but he had one)

sinners (lauren aquilina): this song just reminds me a lot of how dan talks about his internalized homophobia (and of my own experiences with that).

And judgement taught us that our hearts were wrong

The rules say our emotions don't comply But we'll defy the rules until we die

The world may disapprove But my world is only you

You showed me feelings I've never felt before We're making enemies, knocking on the devil's door And how can you expect me not to eat When the forbidden fruit tastes so sweet?

yeah this is like half the song. deal with it. like. i think there can be something very healing about entering into a queer relationship with someone who makes you feel loved and safe after years of being told that was wrong. "how can you expect me not to eat / when the forbidden fruit tastes so sweet?" when i was young i had a very powerful sort of reverse conversion experience, where i had been struggling to make sense of catholic teachings on homosexuality because like... it just didn't seem that bad. but everyone around me was saying it was. parents, teachers, family friends. and i was like, 14, and at that age, you kind of assume that adults do know more than you. they wouldn't all be against this if there was no reason, right? and then i fell in love with a girl and i was just like. wow. okay. these people are just wrong?? because this feels so good and normal and right?? like. yeah. the forbidden fruit tastes good. and is good for you, actually.

the alchemy (taylor swift) is just like, a power couple song. i don't know that any lyrics are super specifically phan coded (phoded if you will) like i just hear anything about love and go "oh my god that's so dan and phil coded." but:

Call the amateurs and cut 'em from the team Ditch the clowns, get the crown Baby, I'm the one to beat

These blokes warm the benches We've been on a winning streak

like! they are THE youtube couple sorry everyone else is just trying to be as cool as them.

'Cause the sign on your heart Said it's still reserved for me

gay

Where's the trophy? He just comes runnin' over to me

boncas anyone????

okay this is like so long and i have so many chores to do so i'll cut it here but not without adding still into you (paramore). self explanatory

#Anonymous #dnp #phan #dan and phil #phancoded music #phlaylist #lou is loud #asks

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studentinpursuitofclouds · 2 days

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Hi hello 👋👋👋

Im the one that asked about Mr Qi headcanons last time and I'm about to ask again

Do you have any angst for our funny blue man? :]c

Hey hey 👋

I have a few random headcanons here, but hope you like it 😄 Thanks for your ask and have a nice day! 💕

_________________________________________

If you ask Mr. Qi his first name, he will only smile and say that it is a mystery. "A mystery even to me" will always echo in his head. Because he no longer remembers what his name was. I think Mr. Qi has been around long enough that he already has trouble remembering who he was in his past life. Did he have friends? Did his parents love him? Were there parents at all, because he doesn't remember their faces. All these memories have turned into one big mirage, and he no longer knows what is true and what is fantasy. It doesn't matter now. He's Mr Qi. now.

Even the Ferngill Republic itself didn't have such a huge number of enemies and ill-wishers as Mr. Qi personally had. If you have very valuable information, some superhuman power, or magical artifacts, some people will sooner or later find out about it and want to "become friends" and use you. There are so many of them that Qi has to deal with his enemies almost on a daily basis. This has become so commonplace for Mr. Qi that he no longer sees these people as people, but as annoying mosquitoes that buzz above his ear. He knows they're asking for it, but he's been so indifferent to human lives lately.... Sometimes this thought makes him shudder.

Grandpa and Farmer weren't the first to whom Mr Qi offered his unusual challenges. There were many more candidates before the two of them. Some, whom the mysterious blue man had managed to befriend, like Grandpa, had died. Some had decided to stab him in the back, trying to cheat or even sell information about his whereabouts to his enemies. You might not be able to tell from the looks of it, but Qi had experienced loss and betrayal painfully. So he became more cautious of people. But still he did not give up his idea to make the world more interesting and strive for perfection.

Mr. Qi knows that Grandpa deserved to rest after all the trials he had passed honourably. He knows that he should not have become attached to the man when he himself was already an immortal. But the death of a close friend, perhaps his only true friend, was the hardest. Such was the curse of immortality - to see your family and friends pass from life forever. He had watched Grandpa from the very beginning of their acquaintance, how he had bravely dealt with every hardship, and yet had not lost his kindness and generosity. How he remained the same wonderful and honest man, even with wealth and recognition. And how Grandpa, before his eternal sleep, was able to comfort his friend and give him some wise advice. To him, the great Qi who knew about everything and had everything he wanted, who was usually the one who bestowed something, not the other way round....

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv mr qi #sdv headcanons #thanks for the ask!

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phoenixcatch7 · 1 year

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Cap marvel headcanons I Will integrate into a fic one day but also have Zero basis in canon to my knowledge (this ended up being LONG):

The living lightning is an ancient force akin to the speed force, and the 'true' guardian of magic, being possibly the first 'magical creature' ever created.

The rock of eternity only recently became based on earth, in the past several thousand years, with the planet's deities acting as mountains in the rain cycle - funnels to safely channel the magic back into the Champion. It's a fully symbiotic relationship that benefits the planet and its people immensely.

This means previously the rock has been based on alien planets. Previous champions are ancient aliens, many from species that no longer exist, either because the species died out or evolved into something unrecognisable.

The champion of magic may have inspired the oua (?), the creators and high council of the green lanterns. Ooh maybe an oua was selected as champion, which is how they learned of it!

The living lightning, when not in a mortal vessel, rests in the heart of the Rock in a large brazier, with a smoke lid of white edged with gold in a familiar pattern. It is tradition, or perhaps instinct, for a Champion to light the brazier whenever they visit the Rock. It will be lit for as long as the visit lasts, and be extinguished the next time they come.

Should it choose to take form, the living lightning resembles a washed out combination of each of its previous Champions. Its form is solid and clear, strong and made for battle, but distinctly uncanny. It doesn't leave its brazier, nor speak.

The 'ideal form' of a hero varies all the time, doesn't it? Especially if you're a kid still growing and learning about yourself and the world. Headcanon cap ever so subtly changes features sometimes. Gradually. Height and build changes sometimes. One of the league members has noticed but they really can't prove it to themselves and it's driving them crazy. Billy has no idea.

On that topic, the 'ideal form' also includes the clothes, right? The red costume? If Billy transforms with the intent of doing something outside his normal hero things (ie, attending a celebration), the outfit has every reason and ability to change to reflect that! Everyone expecting cap to show up in his normal gear and ready to throw a formal suit at him to wiggle on over his costume and he shows up in a red and gold set with a little one shoulder cape like 'yeah I have no idea either'.

Cap marvel Is An Adult. Billy isn't, but cap is in every single way that someone could count. This is probably canon but in some fics I think the jl forgets lol. It's still the same soul, just, with an adult filter instead of a kid one. However that filter manifests.

Not sure this is canon too, but the idea of the mind/soul/whatever of cap manifesting as this great impossible mass. A storm, or a tiger, or a barrier of lightning. This giant, untouchable, dormant mass of power and implied Danger™. Again, Billy has no idea. J'onn is eying warily from a very safe distance.

His wiki practically waxes poetic about his abilities and skills in strategy, mathematics, nigh precognition from ability to spot and manipulate patterns. Captain marvel is unbeatable at chess. Batman has lost to him. Billy cannot do fractions and it drives him up the WALL.

The champion, and ONLY the champion, can share his powers. If shazam wants a second champion he has to give a new set wholesale or convince the champion to share. Similarly, those patroned by the champion cannot transform unless the champion is also transformed. Because otherwise that would be too easy for Billy lol.

Every time Billy asks, tawky gives a different canon origin story. Billy has no idea which is true.

Billy's parents died accidentally freeing Adam on their expedition. Probably crushed by rubble :(. The wizard is the only one who knows and really isn't inclined to share, and Adam either hasn't connected the dots or never really noticed they were there.

Cap and Billy love each other, regardless of whatever version their whole thing is. They're the only reason the other remembers self care and that kind of self love, even if he's not sure he deserves it, makes a world of difference with how they portray themselves to the world.

Cap doesn't need to breathe to speak but he never remembers that and has repeatedly choked in water and space. Superman empathises but tries not to find it funny after the third time it happens.

Billy has showed the wizard memes.

The wizard internally refers to Billy as the 'sassy, lost child'. He has a pointy hat like any good wizard but refuses to wear one since Billy keeps asking him to, pretty please.

Cap once won an arm wrestle with superman by pretending to lick his hand. He didn't. Billy would have.

Cap marvel CANONICALLY bites but after the first time he regulates his jaw strength. Thankfully it was Black Adam so no one lost a hand. He had him in a headlock so who's fault was it really.

Ebenezer doesn't have a strong opinion on cap marvel either way. Billy thinks that's almost worse.

The living lightning isn't lightning. It was around before lightning. It is living, however. It is that 'living' that forms the main consciousness of the Champion form, in this case Marvel. Its not sentient or sapient itself, that's the vessel, but it is the building blocks of it.

In dc (again no idea if this has any basis in canon) magic is the fifth state of matter, above plasma. Yes this interferes incredibly with quantum physics and theoretical science. No the magic users don't know how it works either. No they will not help you they have their own research (into the exact same thing) to do.

If the Rock is obliterated cap marvel will die (along with pretty much everything else but irrelevant). However, if he manages to save the brazier, he will continue on. Magic as a whole deal won't be very happy and aeons of magical knowledge and history and artifacts will be lost, but cap will live and can rebuild from the ashes. The brazier is Heavy but enough super strength can move it if you don't mind bringing a chunk of floor. And the rock is so weakened it's literally falling apart but those are the right circumstances anyway so.

#We should be able to put multiple read mores in posts #I had more headcanons than I thought #If anyone has anything proving/disproving any of these PLEASE let me know :D #I'm still pretty new here and I don't know a lot of the canon material #Wish we could get post checks from others without having to @ them I'm not RUDE #but fr if anyone wants to whip out their reading glasses and comically large Well Actually book of references please do #dc comics #captain marvel #dc captain marvel #billy batson #shazam #headcanon #long post #I REPEAT LONG POST #also blanket permission for anyone to use these if they give you Ideas #I really want to write a fic where the jl (mainly superbat) help cap with saving the Rock and fail #But at the last second he swaps to desperately trying to rescue the brazier but his powers failing and he can't move it he's in tears #And superman has to haul it out while someone else carries an inconsolable cap #And when they get outside to safety they're like 'so what's the deal with this over literally everything else in there' and poor Billy just #Has had possibly the worst day of his life his powers fading just tries to scrabble into the brazier (he needs help and its uncomfortable #for everyone involved) and curls up like goodNIGHT and pulls his cape over his shoulders which turns to stone and he dissolves #To sleep and recharge and now the jl is stuck with the source of all magic which is big and heavy and has their unconscious teammate in.#And also it can't leave earth so no watchtower to put it! Very angst hurt comfort identity reveal methinks. HEA ofc #So.... Yeah

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nexus-nebulae · 5 months

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odd thing we've noticed. the less okay we are the smaller our active system gets

#like logically you'd think we'd get more members while stressed but we don't usually #we actually split way more often when we're feeling okay and alive #i think it has something to do with mental bandwidth #like when mental health bad we don't have enough mental energy to put towards the system #so we just. reduce a lot in size. to make the workload easier #like a few months ago we had about 100+ people active at once all rotating out frequently and cofronting a TON #and now we're down to like. three or four active the rest really only able to be active for a few minutes at a time #we're just too exhausted to deal with the chaos of so many people so it kinda. slows down a ton #it's hard to get used to when everything was So Loud before. its kinda scary sometimes #like damn. i cant just call Incredibly Specific Task Guy to deal with this task i really cannot do right now. that kinda sucks #but knowing that this is like. more bc of the fact that we Can't Deal With Much More Than This makes it a little easier #we're a bit like my current computer. shit ass RAM bc its got like 50 malware (illnesses) on it #and once i get a new computer (get a little better and more functional) i can get back to multitasking #side note my god my RAM on this computer is shit running tumblr and minecraft at the same time totally breaks it #like it makes the Entire Computer run at 10 fps it's Great #i'm getting a new one at the end of this month hopefully #and hopefully Actually Nice Thing Accomplished will also help brain a lot #also not having to stress about how annoying to use our computer is should help lmao

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inniave · 1 month

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every once in awhile i have a flashback so bad it triggers a seizure & nobody really knows why

#i am so fucking tired #and so fucking done #i would rather die than go in tomorrow but that's not an option anymore so fuck #the flashbacks have been constant for as long as i can remember but it's been awhile since they've been at this intensity for this long #i used to think i didn't have ptsd because i didn't have flashbacks until i learned that always feeling like it's happening again is indeed #a flashback #it's just not so isolated for me #so i'm like??? i should be able to deal with this. i'm used to it. pretty much every second of every day my body feels like i'm being #raped and tortured and beat and literally getting drilled in the bone i should be used to this #but it's so much it's so heavy there's no way out i cant do it #but i have to there's no other option except not get surgery which is not really an option :/#cause the pain from the bone is right where their cocks were 🙃 so that's been it's own special form of hell #and now i have to let someone cut me open there 🙃 and i cant be under general anesthesia 🙃#oh yeah and ITS EXAFTLY FUCKING LIKE THAT DOCTOR THAT ASSAULTED ME WHEN I WAS A FUCKING TODDLER COMING OUT OF SURGERY #fuck dude #sometimes i think maybe if it only happened once i'd be okay #ive lost track but i think we're up in triple digits at this point :/#not including the constant stuff in childhood #fuck no wonder i kept trying to kill myself jesus fucking christ #i'm so fucking scared #i'm so ready for all this to be over #it's been years of pain and this whole last month where it's become much more acute and all this visits and i cant take any more #we are at Capacity #we're splitting like hell already #fucking entire new subsystems fuck #fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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magentagalaxies · 2 months

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#this might be both oversharing and being too vague rn but it's 2am and i'm emotionally exhausted #i can't believe during one of the most traumatic moments i've had in the past year i was lucky enough to have scott as my biggest supporter #the entire time as i was going through it he was so supportive giving me space to process shit and always having my back #and yet there are some people in my life who are always going to villainize him for one comment he said during that time out of context #or even if they're not ''villainizing'' him i now feel like i have to begin every sentence about scott with #''yeah we don't agree on everything but we're still friends and isn't that amazing!''#which yeah that is true and i do genuinely enjoy when scott and i disagree and are respectful about it #BUT WHY DOES THAT HAVE TO BE THE FIRST THING I SAY ABOUT HIM????#and honestly that whole experience made me agree with scott on way more than i started out with #i'm proud of how i was able to grow as a person and for the fact that it brought me and scott much closer together #but that shit i went through at my college was still traumatic. and it did change me as a person #it completely changed my relationship to activism in a way i'm not happy about bc i want to be more of an activist #but when i had someone use social justice language to justify horrible things against me it's hard not to be wary #of how hollow and performative a lot of conversations can be #and like i'll even say it. like people might get mad at me for admitting it #but that whole traumatic situation has irrevocably changed my relationship to gender as well #or at least how i label myself and how i move through these conversations #and in some ways i'm grateful for it bc i do feel like i know myself more and like i don't have to worry about what others' think #or even what other people understand #but it shouldn't have had to go down like that. and as much as the time i got to spend with scott during that time was so much fun #and such a great experience and he was truly the perfect support system during that time #he shouldn't have had to deal with that and neither should i #and the fact that scott somehow got villainized in some people's minds while the person who actually caused that trauma #is instead treated like ''yeah he was a bit misguided and made a mistake but he was probably anxious about it!! he's just a person!!''#that's never going to stop being painful. especially the idea that with the importance people put on labels #i would supposedly have more ''community solidarity'' with that asshole than a cis gay man like scott #idk i think i'm past the timeframe of that traumatic experience bc it's not consuming every day like it used to a few weeks back #but something triggered it tonight so i just need to process it. anyway shoutout to scott for being there for me i really needed it

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zellk · 2 months

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I'm in love with Aamira ❤️❤️🙏 can you give us more info about her? Some fun and maybe not so fun facts about her?

Hi Anon ! Thank you for your kind words and for your interest \o/ Aamira's side of the family is the one that Qalaa got her "Beast Curse" from. It's a bloodline hereditary curse that boosts the strength of those in good health (like Qalaari) and eats away at those that have a weak constitution... like Aamira. "Weak" members of the family are usually cast aside or cast out. Aamira ; while still quite young, 16 or so ; ran away from all of this to try to live her life following only her will and enjoy as much of it as possible. Even without the curse Aamira would have had a weak health, but think of it as her Beast basically making her immunodeficient and weaker and weaker as the years go by.

She managed to make a little life for herself in a small unremarkable place close to one of the older forest of the region. There she developed close ties with two siblings, Temhos & Olgha. Both of them members of a tribe that lives deep deep withing the old woods who come to visit the village semi frequently to trade goods and buy things to carry back where they live. Both siblings tried to court Aamira (after months of good relationship), and, eventually, Aamira chose Temhos. For two or three years things were pretty idyllic fro all of them. But then Aamira started talking about wanting a child... Temhos tried to reason with her that with her health it was really fucking dangerous for her to try and that her chances of not making it through were too high for his tastes... Aamira pretended to listen but actually didn't and things got really bad when Temhos found out she was pregnant. They argued, Aamira's health took a downside, Temhos took care of her until she got better again (and Aamira, with her rose-tinted delusional glasses, thought it meant he'd stay). When Aamira was around 7 month pregnant Temhos ran away (very very far away). It broke her heart but not her (by now frantic) determination to see her pregnancy though. She (somehow) found her away again to Temhos' village where she was taken in by Olgha (who was very confused, then very angry (at both Aamira & Temhos), then very panicked). Qalaari was born in this village. Olgha became her surrogate parent to help Aamira raise her (she was still in love with Aamira, but knew that her heart, broken as it was, would still never be hers... I think Aamira knew Olgha's feelings too and could only just be very thankful she still helped her raise Qalaari, despite how painful it must have been for her.) Aamira was very loving with her daughter, but her (now very bad) health and broken heart left her with long dissociative episodes, on top of moments where she wouldn't even managed to get out of bed. That's when Olgha would take care of Qalaari most (frustrated and heartbroken as she was over the whole situation, Olgha genuinely loves Qalaari like her own daughter.) 12 years after, the Beast finally eroded all of what Aamira was (she was still young... probably around 32 or 34 years old ??) and she passed away. Also, how Aamira survived giving birth is nothing short of a miracle. Most likely due to her will of titanium to meet and raise her daughter... Eventually the Beast got the best of her, but she managed to hold on for 12 more years !!

#and now Qalaari has trauma #and also an Inner Beast that makes her REALLY FUCKING VOLATILE #think hypersensitivity #except you are and get strong enough to destroy houses and whole villages when you are submerged by your emotions #Olgha has lost an eye during Qalaari's second worst “crisis”#which is the crisis that triggered her (temporary) banishment from her village #she is travelling now since she isn't able to come back for 3 years...#Olgha was banished too when she was younger so like it's “not the biggest deal” in the sense that you WILL be reintegrated when u come back #but it's still a big deal lmao #especially to Qalaa who can't really... control... her beast...#in the DnD AU apparently the Molandine familly (Aamira's side) has ways of 'taming' the Inner Beasts #but i don't have a lot more info bc i didnt get to delve too deep into what my GM has planned yet #but i'm eyes emoji #anyways that was Aamira's whole life without TOO much of the little details of the messes of her various situations fkjshdgkjh #but as you can see it's a mess #Temhos is probably the only person in the world that Qalaari wants to and would absolutely kill on sight #like she is so fucking kind and forgiving and patient #because all of her hatred is concentrated and pointed at This One Person kfmsdjhgj #also because Olgha and Aamira taught her so so much about Love and the strength of it #and about how she should use her own strength and unnaturally powerful body to do Good #aamira #aamira croquelune #aamira molandine #qalaari croquelune #qalaari #olgha #olgha croquelune #temhos #temhos croquelune #beary talk

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