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ocd-kenobi · 2 years

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tell me about obi-wan's gay ocd! (meaning what are his obbsessions? his compulsions? how does this relate to his sexuality?) i love your blog you're rigt about everything

Thank you, that means you're right about everything too!

Some of my Obi-Wan's OCD headcanons:

I think for large chunks of his life, he's high-functioning enough and so driven by self-consciousness that he manages his OCD well enough to hide it even from himself because it doesn't visibly take up enough time to disrupt normal life. As soon as he notices one of his compulsions being noticed and drawing judgment by others, he alters the behavior to be smaller, but the obseession-compulsion program is still running in his brain and taking up energy and time.

Lots of symmetry OCD, intrusive memories/thoughts, trichotillomania.

Like, maybe when he was ten while walking down a corridor in the Temple with his friends, one of them asked what he was doing and he realized his friends were waiting and staring at him. And he realizes that he's gone back three times to walk over the same tile because he stepped on a crack and he has to set his feet perfectly evenly within the tile now before he can move on, but he is also self-aware and insecure enough to realize that this is absurd. So he doesn't tell them. He clenches his fists with symmetrical pressure until they feel even instead and decides it will have to do even though he still feels the urge to fix his steps. But his friends don't notice he's being weird if he just squeezes his fists instead so that becomes his new ritual for when he steps on a crack. And he doesn't even really realize it aside from judging himself for being so fucking weird.

The name "Anakin" becomes a ritual for him. He has to say it so much, and at the beginning, he can't get the syllables to feel right in his mouth. He refrains from muttering it out loud, because that's weird, but he shapes his tongue/the interior of his mouth around the syllables repeatedly before saying it out loud and then after, too, until it feels right. He ends up saying it so much that he becomes a master of saying it the way that feels right. He says it the same way every time, equal time on all three syllables, first syllable stressed to offset the softness of the last syllable. It becomes his favorite word to say because it's a ritual he can complete and no longer takes up inordinate amounts of time.

Does this with bits of the Code, too. Will answer intrusive thoughts about what an angry, violent person he is with "There is no passion, there is serenity." But he has to say it perfectly evenly in his head. It takes dozens of tries to get it right, all in his head.

He had a thing about swinging his lightsaber an equal number of times (or until there's an equal nebulous weight-feeling) to right and left. The only OCD behavior Qui-Gon ever noticed, because it ate up some of their training time. He mentioned it. Obi-Wan immediately stopped. Started shifting his grip on the hilt evenly between his two hands instead, back and forth, forth and back.

Anakin notices this. Asks. Obi-Wan has to think hard to remember why, but he hates withholding information from Anakin. Ultimately, he honestly tells him he doesn't know why, it just feels wrong if he doesn't. I think Anakin is the only person close enough to ever be curious about any of this and ask further questions from a place of wanting to understand.

He grows a beard out because pulling head-hairs is too obvious, unprofessional, and feminine. Scratching a beard actually makes you look like you know what you're doing (even when you DON'T even know that what you're doing is half-consciously looking for that one perfectly textured and sharp hair-of-the-day to run your finger over and then let go of, catch and release.)

Not a head-canon, but there's a bit in Master & Apprentice where he tugs "nervously at his Padawan braid," then stops himself mid-tug because it "was a bad habit he wanted to break." He then proceeds to stroke his beard for the rest of eternity, especially in moments of uncertainty or stress.

So many intrusive thoughts about turning dark side. (Again, in books, has been known to just bring up this fear out of the blue.) He'll be trying to study Old Alderaanian texts or something, and he'll suddenly be attacked by a memory of that one time he snarked back at some bully instead of turning the other cheek. He'll replay the memory on a loop trying to find a clue that it meant he was going dark, or to Solve The Puzzle of what the Good Thing to do would have been to make that past, long-gone situation go better. Of course, if he told literally anybody (except maybe Qui-Gon who is fucked up about such things) that he was worried about going dark, they would be like "what the fuck are you talking about bro." And he doesn't even realize he hasn't made it past a page of Old Alderaanian text for the past fifteen minutes because he's been stuck on this puzzle until he looks up at the chrono and then berates himself for wasting time, what a Bad Person thing to do.

Textually: The amount of time he spends in the books repeating phrases as reminders or to analyze numerous potential solutions to past events is a big part of why I headcanon him as having OCD. Or rather, it's the ease and comfort with which he accepts this as a valid use of time. It's the way he is used to his brain functioning. He's never like, "Geez, why am I dwelling on this?" the way another character might, the way Qui-Gon does.

Meditation helps reduce his symptoms. They get better at times when he is better at meditating. I guess they call that getting in touch with the "Living Force" or whatever.

His symptoms get worse on Tatooine. His distress makes his obsessions seem "reasonable" because his brain has evidence now that he fucked up. Plus, he doesn't need to curtail his compulsions because there's no one around to witness him. He has worn down grooves in that cave with specific patterns of steps he goes over again and again until they're right. He spends hours a day bombarded with invasive memories of Bad Things he did that led to Anakin's ruin. Things like leaving his hand on Anakin's shoulder one second too long that one time. Maybe if he had lifted his hand just a second earlier. Or left it a second longer and turned it into a shake. Maybe if he replays the memory enough times he can Solve The Puzzle.

His sexuality fits into his OCD in the way that all self-hating gay people with the usual, legacy-variety fears of being a Predatory Gay will use whatever tools they have in their mental arsenal to self-recriminate. He pays more attention than most people to his own sexuality because it is a Different sexuality, and one that comes with fears of corrupting others. Laminates nicely onto fears of turning dark and hurting others. His OCD loves it all, will take all the food.

He has Gay OCD because he is Gay and therefore his OCD is, too :)

If Darth Vader kept him in subspace constantly then he would be cured :))

None of this is medical advice. I am not a clinician. I just have OCD and relate more to the way Obi-Wan Kenobi's mind works than I can say for almost any other character in my 30+ years of reading books.

If anyone else has ideas/headcanons to share, please add them! Or send me asks! I love talking about Him.

#obi wan kenobi #ocd things #of course I know him he's me #internalized homophobia #obi wan's darkside contamination fears #asks #you know what's funny is when you spend hours researching OCD because you think maybe having OCD doesn't mean you can speak with any #authority about it or maybe you don't actually have OCD and you were wrong about it so you shouldn't talk about it at all #and then all the articles you read to research tell you if you are spending time reading articles about whether you have OCD because you #had an intrusive thought that you were misdiagnosed #then STOP RIGHT NOW #so I stopped lol #here we are

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hirookouji · 1 year

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nohebi third years + kuguri + the guy that was behind daishou in that one scene

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astral-from-afar · 10 months

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Watching Sarah Jane Adventures again after so many years

#astra writes #I only saw a few episodes #when it had reruns #got nightmares of one of the creatures #so I stopped lol

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reineydraws · 7 months

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this is a scene from opla s2, black leg gazpacho told me himself!!!

src by @op-trash-blog-of-hell

#one piece #black leg sanji #roronoa zoro #opla fanart #opla #zosan #one piece fanart #one piece live action #vinsmoke sanji #sanzo #comic #op comic #incorrect one piece quotes #did yall notice mackenyu has slight dimples. i cant stop noticing them now. 🥲💖#and taz skylar's smile... ah. 🥰🥰#anyways i saw this post and thought it was perf for opla bc zoro was like 'why are we bringing the waiter' lol #and i wanted to draw mackenyu's zoro a little bit bc he is so!! pretty!!!!!

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batbabydamian · 4 months

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*you opening the love letter* what does your damijon look like, pls pls pls pls pls pls pls, i know it would be so cute, i just know it 🙏🙏🙏

here you go! thank you for the ask, this was a lot of fun to do! they're working on a case together ^^

#ask #super sons #jondami #damian wayne #jon kent #batbabyart #after getting this ask i couldn't stop thinking about older Damian outfits 😭#just based on comic artists throughout the years Damian's got a fairly decent range of style it was hard to choose but v fun!!#Jon's wearing a bunch of layers to cover up bulk while Damian's layering to give off more bulk LOL #i decided to lean a bit into Cizmesija's recent look for him and contrast Jon's more colorful casual wear #didn't want tooo much Batman 666 vibes so i tried giving Damian another color option thru A but i still liked B more lol #also every time i draw older Damian his hair keeps changing sdfgh that one poll apparently did not help me decide haha

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inkskinned · 6 months

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in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!

they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.

they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.

you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.

but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.

where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.

and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?

doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.

but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.

what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.

just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?

your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.

#spilled ink #warm up #writeblr #this is about someone specific but feel free to blorbo on main.#tbh this is familial for me so that is an element but it's also about childhood best friends #and probably about ur enemies to lovers blorbo #(but i want to specifically say if ur partner is like this. not necessarily a good partnership lol.)#(the dynamics at play in familial/friend relationships feel equally important and in some ways are HARDER to escape.#bc we can see that this is a potentially toxic romantic foundation.#but in family ? ...... it's toxic and it doesn't stop u from loving them. bc u always have.#and i think that makes it harder. by a lot. which is what this is referencing).#but genuinely and really truly forever feel free to tag ur potentially toxic enemies to lovers on this and all my poetry #here i'll do one for u - adora & catra :x

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devsgames · 3 months

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Me: "hey game developers, especially AAA ones, are getting laid off en-mass and it's awful for our industry" Gamer: "well I only play INDIE games and the problem with AAA games is they are creatively bankrupt"

Me, slamming my fists on the table like a baby: "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS IS ABOUT A BUSINESS PROBLEM PERPETUATED BY CAPITALISM NOT A STATEMENT ON CREATIVE DECISION MAKING"

#look I think AAA should make weirder games also but I wish we stopped treating that like some kind of solution and not just a fun idea #the problem is capitalism. its always capitalim #its not like AAA studios would have less problems if they made weird indie games lol #also hey spoiler alert: indie studios need to organize their labour too #in fact I think the organizing movement would be stronger if more indies adopted it first #anyway im busy so imma mute some posts now #thoughts #blog

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mel-kusanagi · 13 days

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so i watched fallout because of these two, here's a wip 🙆‍♀️

#stopped at ep 4 but i will finish the series eventually #i read ao3 fics of them before i even watched the show lol #i will color this but im also very busy on uni so it might take long to finish it #lucy maclean #cooper howard #the ghoul #ghoulcy #vaultghoul #fallout #fallout prime #my art #wip

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notherpuppet · 1 month

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Chaggie moments in rule 63 AU

#chaggie is so cute #I love them in every universe #hazbin hotel #chaggie #charlie morningstar #Vaggie #vaggie’s name stays the same because when does v*gina stop being the best thing ever #if that lore is even real lol #I still don’t know if Adam was being serious or not #anyway #my doods #hazbin hotel fanart

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enderscribbles · 4 months

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Dunmeshi request, Chilchuck and Marcille interacting? 🥺 Or standing next to each other that works too. Could be hugging, or sharing a meal/food, or…

Got a bit out of hand with the prompt XD I ended up doing a scene inspired by this fic! Based on that time Marcille Izutsumi and Chilchuck were sharing a bed in chapter 47. It felt very memorable so I tried to recreate it but I kind of went offscript because I was basing it on my recollection of the fic lmao

^Obsessed with this guy and how he lets Izutsumi use him like a hot water bottle bc it's comfier.

I think he'd hardly ever act this soft + tolerant of physical affection unless it's situations like this: When the others are too sleepy to remember it LOL

#dungeon meshi #ダンジョン飯 #chilchuck tims #chilchuck #marcille donato #fullertom #izutsumi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #also i ended up drawing his dottirs whenever possible #idk if i like the values for the colors all that much but it's been around too long #so i really just want to post it LOL #uncaptioned #<- ill do this later when im not sleepy asf. or if you want to caption for me ill credit you and add it in alt #january 2024 #my art #sorry i havent stopped drawing chilchuck sorry for being a chuckhead.#except not sorry. you will see more of him

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despite-everything · 2 years

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just found the funniest stickers to put on my car

#idk why but 'stop plate tectonics' literally made me laugh out loud #so obvs i had to get it #then i saw 'reunite pangea' and thought it'd coordinate wonderfully #(then i got 2 so one can go on my car with the tectonics one and the other can go on my water bottle lol)#tree talks #geology

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puppetmaster13u · 6 months

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Prompt 113

“I seem to have been taken hostage.” Batman’s words almost had Superman panic if not for the wry tone, a tone which the others didn’t know if their freaking out was to go by. Clark sighed through the comms, tired after battle and honestly wanting to go to bed now.

“I’ll be right over, what child has latched onto you now?” He asked while switching to a more private channel.

“I can already hear you making fun of me…” Wha- Oh. Clark bit his lip to keep himself from laughing as he took to the air. “They appear to be a pair of twins with…”

“You gotta’ say it Bruce, you gotta’,” Clark couldn’t stop the chuckle when he saw his friend on the top of a building, cape curled around his form in a way usually reserved for the robins.

“... with dark hair… and blue eyes…” That was it. Clark absolutely lost it in laughter.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #Danny & Ellie fell into this world during an invasion were very scared #Latched onto the first semi-ecto contaminated person they found #Bruce gives off slight ghost vibes and feels safe so they aren't letting go any time soon #Could be Superbat might not up to yall lol #Batman is just staring down at the small children who have latched onto his leg and are crying #Look the man is a dad and a hero and isn't going to leave the kids there #It's also highly concerning when he finds out they're not in the system #And their DNA is only half human with the rest being... something who knows #Apparently he's adopted a pair of half aliens but that's not going to stop him #“I could take them if you need-”#“No they're my babies now no takes backs”

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daeyumi · 2 months

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i love it when ppl put kirby into desserts

#kirby #hoshi no kirby #kirby of the stars #kirby fanart #oh no i don’t know how to tag for kirby i’m so sorry kirby fans (i’m kirby fans)#daeyumi art #thanks for the request!#anyways fun fact i can’t stop buying the re-ment kirby blind box sets where he & his friends are sculpted with all the lil themed foods #agh it’s way too cute & kirby is one of my absolute fave characters ever #anyways i have too many kirby figures now cuz they’re all so cute & now i have to be really picky about what kirby figures i buy lol

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meatcutie · 10 months

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god i love fat people so much. i'm so tired of thinness being default and seen as innate to beauty. I want more fatness in art. I want more fat people to make art about themselves.

#i want skinny people to stop being so self obsessed and defensive lol #chatty

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magic-owl · 1 year

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I don’t believe in gatekeeping at all but if you flat out admit to me that you’ve consumed little to ZERO of the canon media and have gotten all of your information based off of reading fluffy fic with woobified characters, I will not be taking ANY of your fandom opinions or meta seriously

#i will clarify: you’re more than allowed to have fun! write all the fic you want and play in the sandbox!#but do NOT ever act like you know what you’re talking about lol #‘canon is Wrong and i’ve only read fanfic so that makes me an expert on these characters uwu’#STOP IT NO #one of my friends thought i shouldn’t kick the beehive #but i’m ready #owl blabs

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honnelander · 8 months

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go fish! part 2

guyssss i did NOT expect this little series to blow up. y'all are amazing! i'm turning into a Sanji writing blog and am i mad about it? no lmao i received a couple of requests and i'll work on them as soon as i can. i'm really in the zone rn so i'll ride this wave as long as i can. if you want to be a part of the taglist for whenever i post new Sanji content, lmk. i hope you enjoy!

WARNINGS: none

word count: 2.8k

pairing: opla!sanji x fem!reader

summary: after being humiliated by Usopp earlier, reader stays in her room to decompress. however, she gets a visitor.

prequel part 1 part 3 part 4 masterlist

taglist: @smolracoon25 @mischiefmanaged71 @jovialcat123

Mortified. That’s how you felt. Still.

Ever since you ‘forfeited’ from finishing your Go Fish card game with Usopp a couple of hours ago, you had taken your glass of water that Sanji had poured for you and boarded up in your shared room with Nami, refusing to come out due to “heat exhaustion”.

Poor Luffy, ever the golden hearted captain, was immediately worried for your wellbeing as soon as he heard that but after multiple reassurances from you and getting up off of your hammock multiple times to prove you were in fact, just fine, he relented from wanting to stop by the nearest island so he could find a doctor for you. Usopp had managed to convince him as well that all you needed was some water, alone time, and that you would be fine by dinnertime.

You rubbed your eyes as you let out a sigh, vowing to yourself that the next time you wanted some time by yourself, you should just take a bath or something, since any other excuse would cause someone on the crew (Luffy) to lose their mind at the thought of someone not feeling well.

You readjusted yourself, sitting more upright, as you downed the last of your water, it being warm by this point since it had been poured by Sanji hours ago.

Sanji. Ugh.

Your heart fluttered once again at the mere thought of him, but that flutter was immediately replaced by a wave of crashing embarrassment at the thought of the afternoon’s sequence of events. What had happened earlier wasn’t even anything that groundbreaking or special, but to you? It was everything. It wasn’t common practice in your life for the object of your affections to be so kind towards you, so thoughtful, to read and anticipate your needs before you even knew they were even there. But Sanji? He was all of that and more. And you didn’t even know him for that long! You’ve all been a part of the straw-hat crew for 5 months at this point and it felt silly to admit to yourself that you had developed a crush on one of your crewmates in that short amount of time.

And having feelings for your crewmate? Someone who you literally couldn’t get away from since you all were trapped on a ship together (not that you would ever want to be away from him or anyone else for that matter, besides Usopp, but still), it felt morally wrong. You guys were all a team. Sure, you all were off to sail around the world and chase dreams, but achieving all of that required teamwork and trust, and that was hard to do if two of those people were caught up with matters of the heart every hour of every day.

Like, what if things didn’t work out in the end? Would you really want to put the crew’s dynamic at stake just because you thought the blonde guy was cute? No, you wouldn’t. It would be selfish so you would never dare to put yourself or Sanji in that position. No matter how much you liked him.

So as much as it pained you, you could never tell Sanji how you feel. You would never cross that line of being a ‘professional pirate’ into something more, like a pirate wife. Or a pirate chef’s wife.

It definitely didn’t help that freaking Usopp of all people on the crew knew about your affections for Sanji. Ugh, you groaned. He was the absolute worst person to know about it too. Why did he have to figure it out? Why did he have to be the one that had put two and two together to equal four? That your random bouts of awkwardness and shyness plus ‘heart eyes’ and blushes whenever Sanji was around equaled to you having a forbidden crush on the crew’s chef? It was embarrassing. And complicated.

He loved to stir the pot too, so whenever he could tease you for it when you both were alone or in front of a clueless Sanji, he would. You remembered the kiss he had shared with Kayla back when the straw-hats had acquired the Going Merry, so you definitely jabbed him right back when you had had enough, since part of you felt guilty for it since Kayla was thousands of miles away and Sanji lived on this ship with you. Your situations were slightly similar but completely different.

Also, completely different in the way that him and Kayla were basically dating at this point, albeit long distance, and had shared a kiss while you could barely sustain eye contact that lasted more than 5 seconds with Sanji.

You were hopeless.

“Knock, knock,” a familiar accented voice came through the closed door. “Y/n? Are you awake?”

"Sanji?” you blurted out in complete surprise.

Shit. You weren’t mentally prepared to see him just yet. At all. You were still replaying the interaction you both had earlier in your head, your overthinking mind going over every minute detail to figure out if Usopp’s careless teasing had given away your affections.

Usopp, you mentally ground out. You were going to kill him. Sanji had never stopped by your room before so what on earth was he doing here now?

Suddenly, a thought struck you like a bolt of lightning and made your stomach drop fifty miles below sea level: if Sanji had specifically stopped by your room just to gently let you down, that no, in fact he did not feel the same way about you, that he only thought of you as a member of the crew and nothing more....then yeah, you were definitely going to kill Usopp and throw him overboard.

Before you could mentally plot out more details on Usopp's murder, the door opened and the straw-hat chef’s blonde head appeared. His eyes quickly scanned Nami’s empty hammock on the room’s left side before turning his head to the right, his blue eyes immediately finding your surprised ones, a (relieved?) smile lighting up his face at the sight of you.

“So, I take it you’re awake?” Sanji asked in a light, teasing tone but not making an effort to move himself away from the doorway.

“Uh, y-eah,” you stuttered out in surprise as you just stared at him dumbfounded. You still couldn’t figure out why he was here.

Sanji continued to lock eyes with you, making your cheeks flush the longer you both stared at each other, and your palms sweat as the silence stretched on, making the tension in the air become thicker by the second. He blinked, his eyes darting to the side in confusion, raising an eyebrow as he asked, “May I come in?”

“OH! Yes, of course- sorry,” you stuttered as you waved him inside, sitting up in your hammock and mentally face palmed yourself. Of course, Sanji was waiting on you to invite him inside. Like always, he was acting like a true gentleman. “Please, come in. Have a seat. Sorry, that was rude of me. Make yourself at home.”

Sanji stood up to his full height and walked into your room with an easy smile and a small laugh, closing the door behind him. “Ah, don’t ever apologize y/n. You could never be rude to me,” Sanji rebuttalled and waved off your apology as he looked around and took in your very plain and basic shared room with Nami.

Your room, or side of the room more specifically, wasn’t much to brag about considering you really didn’t have much to your name but for now, it was home to you. Your side consisted of your hammock, a wooden barrel next to it to act as a makeshift nightstand that housed your only book, a journal, and a lamp, along with an empty wooden crate to act as a makeshift seat and another to hold some of your other clothes and small travel bag. Nami’s side was similar to yours but had a touch more personality as she hung up some maps she found at various markets and drew up herself on her wall.

You swallowed, suddenly feeling a tad self-conscious about the lack of things in your room considering your current guest was dressed, as usual, to the nines in his signature black suit and blue and white striped shirt complete with a skinny black tie. “Sorry for the sad state of my room-”

“Sad?” Sanji stopped admiring your room and snapped his gaze to look at you. His eyebrows pulled together as another confused smile adorned his features. “Why would you say that? Your room isn’t sad, I like it. It’s a reflection of you,” his next words came out softer, “and I think that’s beautiful.”

You could feel heat crawling up your neck at his words as you busied yourself with placing the empty glass in your hand on your barrel nightstand. There was no way Sanji was calling you beautiful, he was just commenting on your room. With Nami. On your shared room that owed any ounce of ‘personality’ to the ship’s navigator because it was obvious you literally brought nothing special to this room whatsoever.

You stopped yourself from spiraling into ‘I don’t bring anything special to the straw-hats, I don’t know why they keep me around’ thoughts because now wasn’t the time to think about any of that. Those dark thoughts were reserved when you couldn’t sleep in the middle of the night.

As you placed the glass on the nightstand, you asked, “So, what brings you all the way to my room? Aren’t you usually prepping for dinner around this time?”

Sanji’s eyes followed your hand and lit up when he saw the sole book on your nightstand. “Oh, a book? I didn’t know you liked to read.” His megawatt smile lit up a couple of notches as his eyes sparkled, he looked like he had just learned one of the universe’s greatest mysteries as he took a seat near you on an empty crate. “What book is that?”

“Oh, that?” You mentally deflated at the fact you now had to tell Sanji about your favorite book, “It’s Pride and Prejudice.”

You weren’t ashamed of having that book specifically, you loved it and it was your favorite book of all time, you had lost count at how many times you had read it at this point, but it was the fact that you now had to share this part of yourself with the guy you fancied. Guys normally scoffed and turned their nose up at romance book and romantic things, so you were bracing for Sanji to scoff and laugh at you like all the other guys did (like even Zoro and Usopp did when they first saw you reading it) but it never came.

Instead, Sanji’s smile remained bright. “Ah, so you’re a lover of classic romances? Pride and Prejudice? Romeo and Juliet?”

Immediately, you smiled, finding yourself instantly comfortable suddenly whenever you got to talk about one of your favorite things. “Absolutely. I don’t think there’s a problem big enough out there that love can’t solve. Family backgrounds? Wealth and status? At the end of the day, none of that stuff matters. What matters is if two people love each other.”

Sanji stayed quiet for a moment, looking into your eyes with a twinkle of an emotion that you couldn’t decipher. It made your heart skip a beat. “Yeah,” he agreed quietly, never breaking eye contact. “I agree.”

You swallowed. “You like this stuff too? Have you read Pride and Prejudice?”

Sanji blinked and that indescribable emotion he had in his eyes was gone. His smile remained, however, and became sheepish as he held up his hands, “Ah ok, you caught me. I’ve never read the full thing, but I know the main parts of the story. My favorite part that I did read though, was the first dinner with Mr. Collins and he complimented the Bennets on their ‘excellent boiled potatoes’.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, shaking your head slightly as you teased, “I should’ve known that the chef of the Going Merry’s favorite part of the book is when food is discussed!”

The blonde cook held his hands up again with a good-natured laugh, “Ah, you got me!” His face softened as he asked, “What about you?" He nodded towards the book. "What’s your favorite part?”

You paused for a second as you mulled the question over. “Well, I'm not sure if you know about this part since you never read the book...”

“Try me,” he encouraged softly.

Your face turned to the side, your eyes looking at the wooden wall to your right, unable to bring yourself to look at Sanji as you told him your favorite part of your favorite book. You took a deep breath to steady yourself and calm your nerves, your voice becoming quiet as you told him, “My favorite part is...when Mr. Darcy barges in on Elizabeth for the first time, while she’s at her friend Charlotte’s house writing a letter. He had come to practice ‘conversating’ with her since he admitted that it wasn’t something he was good at and she had told him to practice it. So, Mr. Darcy just barged in and they had one of the most painfully awkward conversations ever...and he did all that just because he loves her. He did something he hated and was bad at, and opened himself up to embarrassment just because he wanted to improve and be better for her. It’s so romantic and beautiful.”

The air was quiet after your mini monologue and for a moment, nothing could be heard except for their quiet breathing and the occasional crash of the ocean from outside your small window.

Part of you worried that your little rambling had bored Sanji, so when you finally looked at him, imagine your surprise when you found him leaning in towards you, hands clasped, elbows resting on his knees and his eyes watching you, completely engaged. It was like he was hanging onto your every word.

Sanji scanned your face for a moment, the corner of his lips curling upwards as he said, “Yeah, you’re right. I’m not familiar with that part in the book,” and before you could open your mouth to bring yourself down, he continued, “but, that doesn’t mean your answer is wrong.” He leaned back and slapped his hands against his thighs, “Hell, it’s a much more insightful answer than mine!” He laughed. “I just liked how they were poking some fun at boiled potatoes.”

You laughed with him because yes, that part in the book also made you laugh as well. But at the mention of food, you realized that you still didn’t know why Sanji was here in the first place. Wasn’t he normally prepping for dinner at this time? He had to be running behind schedule at this point.

“Why are you here, Sanji? Isn’t it almost time for dinner?”

“Yeah, it is actually but I heard you weren’t feeling well so I wanted to check in on you, make sure you’re feeling alright and see if you have any special requests for dinner?”

You couldn’t help the slight smile that overtook your face, trying to hide the blush at the fact that he was kind enough to check in on you and offer to practically be your own personal chef for the evening.

You hummed for a moment, acting like you were deep in thought before asking with a raised eyebrow, "And what would you say if I requested some boiled potatoes?”

The smile that lit up the chef’s face was priceless. He had never looked more beautiful. “To that, I would say ‘Absolutely. If that’s what the missus wants, then that is what the missus will get.’”

Missus. There it was again. You felt all warm inside whenever he called you that, it made you feel like he was your husband and that you were his wife. But that wasn’t the case. Sanji definitely must have called other women that before. You weren’t special to him, he was just being polite.

You swallowed down your emotions, putting your sudden wave of sadness away for later, putting on a small smile. “Then that sounds perfect. I would like to formally request some ‘excellent boiled potatoes’ as a side for dinner, please.”

If Sanji noticed your sudden change in mood, he didn’t show it. Instead, he grinned as he said, “Excellent choice, Madam. Boiled potatoes, coming right up.” As he stood up and made his way towards your door, Sanji did one of the most unexpected things that nearly knocked the wind out of you. With his left hand on the doorknob he said, “And don’t worry, Madam. I’ll sprinkle in a little bit of extra love in there,” he turned and winked at you, “just for you.”

With that, Sanji left your room, gently closing the door behind him, leaving you completely dumbstruck in your room, your mouth agape and body frozen.

Did Sanji just say he loved you?

You shook your head, because there was no way he did, right? He said he’d ‘sprinkle in some extra love’ into your potatoes, not 'I love you". You weren’t a chef, maybe that was a euphemism for something.

You sighed.

Those better be some good boiled potatoes.

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