#bc we can see that this is a potentially toxic romantic foundation.

[inkskinned]

in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!

they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.

they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.

you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.

but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.

where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.

and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?

doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.

but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.

what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.

just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?

your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.

#spilled ink #warm up #writeblr #this is about someone specific but feel free to blorbo on main. #tbh this is familial for me so that is an element but it's also about childhood best friends #and probably about ur enemies to lovers blorbo #(but i want to specifically say if ur partner is like this. not necessarily a good partnership lol.) #(the dynamics at play in familial/friend relationships feel equally important and in some ways are HARDER to escape. #bc we can see that this is a potentially toxic romantic foundation. #but in family ? ...... it's toxic and it doesn't stop u from loving them. bc u always have. #and i think that makes it harder. by a lot. which is what this is referencing). #but genuinely and really truly forever feel free to tag ur potentially toxic enemies to lovers on this and all my poetry #here i'll do one for u - adora & catra :x

[r-2-peepoo]

I think Codywan has such a wide appeal and is only growing in popularity (even if they’re still pretty small compared to how huge the whole fanbase is) bc they have a canonical close friendship built on a deep mutual trust so there’s already a foundation for a relationship there (there is the dilemma of ranks but it’s less of an issue imo bc we know Obi Wan isn’t the type to cross anyone’s boundaries like that) but also because it’s simultaneously far enough removed from canon (we see less of them together than other pairings, romantic or otherwise, but still enough that it doesn’t feel forced) that you get quite a lot of creative freedom with them. This works even better when you realise both of them are very reasonable, levelheaded people which explains why so many of the fics about them are just pure fluff or at least hurt/comfort. They provide the best sort of escape from the immediate angst of canon which is why cosy romance really suits them. They’re both also pretty tragic characters and sort of embody the overall tragedy of the entire story in a way so, while angst also works really well, picturing a sadness-free ending for them is always lovely.

Obi Wan’s pain obviously gets more of a focus in canon, what with him being a main character, so it’s so nice to see someone like Cody be able to relieve him of some of it, or at least help him cope. The idea that when you rewatch A New Hope, you could have in the back of your mind that he actually wasn’t alone all that time is just really reassuring to think about.

But also the benefit of seeing so much of Obi Wan is that we know what he’s like as a person really well and so we know he would do exactly the same thing for Cody, hence the real potential for balance in their relationship. I do not think Cody’s pain gets focused on nearly enough in canon (that goes for all of the clones honestly) or in fics, but we can feel safe knowing that if Obi Wan were real, he would be the most accommodating, patient, compassionate person anyone could ever have as their partner or their friend or anything else.

I know I’m just stating the obvious here but there is so comforting about two genuinely kind, good people having a healthy, balanced relationship and that’s why literally no one else compares to them imo. Ik not everyone captures this balances in every fic, but that’s how I view their canon dynamic and how it translates to fanfiction. There doesn’t need to be toxicity because they know how to communicate. They’re definitely both still melodramatic, I mean they are Star Wars characters after all, but it never has to swerve into being unhealthy. They feel like if the feeling of a hug was captured in a ship.

#star wars #commander cody #clone wars #obi wan kenobi #codywan #star wars prequels

[frommybedroom]

Ok but aromantic people can actually give really great romantic advice bc we can see things on a clear level. We have literally no stakes in this relationship, and we’re not gonna be biased based on past romantic relationships we might have had that maybe ended poorly. But also, how different are friendships to romantic relationships really? I mean, the foundations are all the same, right? Treat each other with respect, don’t do anything non-consexual, make each other laugh, feel like you can be yourself around the other person/people, etc. So just because we may not have ever had a romantic relationship (or don’t understand why people would want one in the first place) doesn’t mean that we don’t understand potentially toxic situations or just relationships in general.

TL;DR: aros can also give romantic advice bc we have the ability to be completely neutral in a situation like this

#aromantic #discourse #lgbtq+ #aro #aromantics can give romantic advice too!! #i feel like this was really rambly #hopefully i got my point across

[apicturewithasmile]

just for “fun”, which blacklist ending do you think is most likely: a) lizzington happens but bc it’s written by the same dudebros who gave us k2 it’s completely toxic b) lizzington happens and it’s great for two seconds but then red dies c) red and liz both die d) liz gets with ressler and red either dies or gets dad-zoned again, or e) ryan comes back for the final episode so tim can get the happily ever after he never deserved

Hey anon,

god I wish I knew. By now I have literally zero expectations for anything and I just want it to be over. Please let season 8 be the last so we can all. move. the fuck. on. However, I want to comment on some possibilities and topics you touched on.

Lizzington: First of all I don’t like defending Lizzington by claiming it’s a “non-toxic” ship (in general or even in comparison to others). Frankly, I hate that kind of language that’s been used for shipping lately where there’s this moral component added and a ship is only allowed to exist/happen if it’s 100% soft uwu healthy. We’re talking about the mastermind of the criminal underworld and a woman who burns people alive and dissolved someone’s corpse in acid. Like??? These two fictional characters are both completely fucked up and in my fantasy world where they are a romantic couple it is clear that they are both psychological trainwrecks. But trainwrecks that are good for each other, you know? That’s what I had hoped for when the show started and they baited the shit out of us with Lizzington - a dark romance where Liz was eventually giving in to her “dark impulses” and actually sides with Red (and not with Katarina “mother of the year” Rostova wtf???) and together they’d repair some of each others’ damaged selves while still being, you know... partners in crime. So basically what happened after Liz shot Tom Connolly and they went on the run together. THAT’S what I had expected from the show and what I wanted from this ship! But I have very little hope they will be able to turn the show around to give us that in the end. They’d have to rebuild Liz’s character from the ground first and there just ain’t no time (or competence) left for that.

K2: The problem I had with K2 wasn’t the fact that Tom was a bad guy - I actually enjoyed the role he played in season 1 - but rather how the writers decided over night that he shall be redeemed now and we should all move on and collectively forget that he’s a wife beater and a murderer. See, there are a SHIT TON of parallels between Red and Tom and that could actually be really interesting to analyse through Lizzington goggles. So yeah... I don’t really know how to express this better other than saying: I don’t consider K2 a “toxic” ship because that’s anti rhetoric and I hate it and try not to think in that way. I don’t give a fuck about “toxic” ships. But I give a fuck when they are badly written. And K2 and Tim Koon’s character were terribly written after season 1 and his presence ultimately ruined the entire show in my opinion.

Red dying: I am dead certain that Red will die. I have suspected this to be his destiny in the end for a loooong time, even way before he got that illness. I was more on the line of “he’ll get tragically gunned down in the street and die in Lizzy’s arms” but mystery illness seems to be the route tptb are going with now. (Also if they want to ~suBvErT eXPecTAtioNs~ by not making Raymond Reddington the no.1 on the blacklist then they are idiots who should never be allowed a job in television ever again!)

Liz dying: nah, I don’t think that’s a likely outcome at all. it just doesn’t make sense for her character arc (if you can even call it that) and I think tptb know that.

Keenler: *sigh* Lord give me strength! You know... if they had spent any reasonable amount of time during the past seven years to give Donald “proud member of the NRA” Ressler an ounce of character development and actually built that ship up in a meaningful way then I might be able to be cool with that potential outcome even if I don’t ship them. But I simply cannot ignore that for two and a half years Lizzington ticked off every romantic trope in the book; that both Red and Liz canonically love each other (one way or another). And Keenler had.... what? One chinese take out dinner on Liz’s birthday? I don’t care if people ship it, don’t get me wrong. To each their own. But if that’s what tptb decide to go with in season 8 then it will have no foundation whatsoever in the seven seasons prior, especially not compared to how big they made Lizzington out to be in the beginning. However, as already established: tptb are idiots so I wouldn’t be surprised if they actually go with Keenler.

Dad-zone: Yeah, probably. The writers and media outlets just cannot stop referring to Red as a “parental figure” and it is so boring and annoying and stupid. But I fear tptb made up their mind on that in season 4 when they realised that Spader really isn’t getting younger. Unless they go FULL daddy kink (which they won’t) then Red will end up being stuck with the “father figure” label whether he wants it or not and it’ll make zero sense for his character and his relationship to Lizzy but they will paint it like it was always meant to be that way [fast cut to Lizzy’s sex dream and Red’s sex voice vibrating in our collective lap “What do you really want, Agent Keen?”].

Tim Tim the Koon coming back from the dead: No fucking way. Honestly. No. That bitch is dead and done with and even a show as ridiculously inconsistend as TBL couldn’t find a way to bring that fucker back to life. NO!

So.... I don’t know how much “fun” that was to read, anon lol but there you go. Those are my nightmares thoughts and it actually felt good to get that rant out of my system.

#tbl #not putting this in any of the tags bc it's just ranting #and negativity #who wants that in their show or ship tag?

[misterbitches]

i said i would talk about saizon and usually i would be under the influence. but i am not yet. read the * at end of the post first if u want clarification of overall.

i might mention torfight (will refer as f/t) but if anyone gets upset just chill. it’s a really inconsequential opinion. the chances of someone stumbling upon this means nothing. it isnt’ a compare and contrast just how i personally feel while viewing these shows. and i probably want to dive into what this means in a broader context since i have all the time and brain space in the world 

from the first encounter of saifah and zon or their first encounter outside of their “kiss” (LOL? so unnecessary) it was clear that as awkward as it could or may be there was natural chemistry. which i want my tiny head to explore.

so a lot of BL (which is like....tv and movies etc in general anyways) hell even dramas may have a less sexual undertone to get to where they are going. which i think is a problem with tv in general (a friend was bringing this up with the new rules of social distancing on set which...capitalism but whatever)  where sex is a vehicle for connection. a lot of BLs can be explicit i suppose, but in the west it’s like jumping into bed is a huge base for a lot of couples. also everyone fucks too much who cares.

but sex, kisses, hookups, any nudity, etc is not a placeholder for like actual intimacy, romantic love, showing love. that’s part of why i hate the concept of love at first sight, at least the way it plays out. you can really like someone, hell maybe even love, when you see them or feel this bond but the bond isn’t because you TOUCHED them.

there’s a difference between natural chemistry and forced. natural chemistry is what you would prefer which is why casting directors have literally chemistry tests to test your compatibility as actors, with a writer/director, and on camera. there can be people whose chemistry develops and we see the potential, or people who we know don’t love each other IRL and this is acting but it’s still powerful. but this always means you have to give them the time and space. actors can jump in/out of character but it’s human nature. if two peopl eare meeting for the first time and have to simulate sex there’s going to be this natural like...strangeness. obviously. viewers can see it.

so when you get two people who click irl and it doesn’t always have to be romantic or sexually it’s kind of more of a thrill. very obviously mii2 are a lot more flexible around each other so it is less mechanic. i think i like watching tharntype because even tho i feel like parts of it seriously need some oil, i can see and understand a relationship developing through their characters as they act (and i do not particularly think they are good actors.)

the friendship that saizon display—whether we think it is spontaneous and too quick or not—is legitimately nice. and they are very obviously comfortable with each other. i guess there can be an idea of romantic friendship (but idk abt that one, we dont have to fucking label everything you can love someone so deeply in your own way outside of our parameters bla bla capitalism ruining everything bla bla individualism)

they got in each others faces, then would do very weird shit together, because that’s who they are. for me personally i think being able to have fun with your partner is iMPERATIVE. one of my fav moments is when they fucking meow at each other (which i know is a thai joke, right? idk) and it is so weird but you can tell they understand the way they communicate?

to me  like...having someone you feel something deep with is that there’s this role you guys are playing, it’s a joke you started, and with the best kind of intimacy and love your partner can keep it going, keep it rolling, hang it up in the air and you guys just go back adn forth....forever lol 

i also legitimately think it is important to hammer home the fact that you are yourself without a partner and i really resent a message that makes it seem like you can’t live without someone. maybe a lack of saizon was good that way. like they existed as two seperate people. their love and attraction weren’t the only thing going for them. it was just natural and very nice.

this particular display of romance and affection is one that’s strong but doesn’t take itself too seriously. not because you don’t want to lose them but because there’s enough security. or like, it’s really guided by this unspeakable feeling you feel with another person. 

i’m not sure if that means soulmates but it’s something close. saifah doesn’t expect zon to be someone he can’t, but it doesn’t mean he has to let himself go completely for him. when he expressed being sad that zon pulled away it’s normal. and zon knew he couldn’t do it but they still got through it. and then he pats the bed and saifah jumps on him.

these types of couples remind me of why i feel the way i do about love. i can’t imagine something fucking bogging me down, where i feel like i can’t get up without pulling me, where i don’t feel myself first. zon was figuring himself out and he was thinking of himself and his feelings. bc he should. 

that’s another reason why trapped MC (H3) is one of my favs. first of all THEY LAUGHED TOGETHER WHICH IS LIKE A REQUIREMENT UR NO FUN IF UR A SQUARE and second of all they were going to spend year apart and could do that. had to. fuck the carceral state but. 

you don’t ask someone to give up a part of themselves, you only want them to be the best they can be. it isnt through demands it’ sgrowing with them and fucking respecting them with everything you have. and it means having a foundation outside of them, too. 

i know people get upset at the “love anybody but u have to love yourself” adage but i don’t really see it tht way. i absolutely believe you need to learn to be healthy alone and have a community. rely on all sorts of people. have different types of love and figure yourself out. we can’t be free as human beings without it and i would rather fucking die than not feel free. 

oh and like....being with someone where you feel seen and heard not shamed. i read this thing in the atlantic like, partnerships fail a lot because of lack of validation. imagine having someone who trusts you, and maybe helps to trust yourself, and validates you by being there. nice.

and it’s nice having someone you love so deeply and beautifully along for the ride. instead of no actual pleasure outside of sex, your relationship IS the pleasure. beautiful stunning etc. and that’s what makes everythign feel good the love, sex, living, whatever. with someone and with yourself.

this got away from me in conclusion theyre very cute eand that’s cos it’s easy and natural. mii2 are fun to watch as saizon and themselves. life shouldnt be too hard. im a big fan of working as little as possible and being happy kekekek

*i am talking monogamy, love, and the self. why only ‘traditional’ rships? first: i literally cannot handle people because i can’t handle my mind. non-monagamy is incredibly alluring to me for my autonomy, in the abstract, and in theory. however, in practice, i don’t think—for me as a black woman and what it means for me—i can enact anything i feel would be detrimental to me or puts me in a position where i feel forced into a dynamic i no longer care for. 

and who knows if that changes? i only do and care about the things i like and find important. no one else but me, family, and friends. how i choose. so i am talking abt monogamy but u can interpret that for other rships if you wish. 

second: it’s. my. life. 

i dont carrreeee about monogamy/non monagamy outside of liberation and sexual freedom and what does that mean?  there is no blueprint for that. there is no future expectation for a relationship, there is nothing but how we choose to interact with the world and community. first and foremost: love means so many things and it doesn’t have to mean any “new” ideas. or “instincts.” who fucking cares. we can’t reimagine literal relationships, people are fucking toxic in all types of them, only reimagine how we interact with ourselves and each other. there is no fucking guarantee with any of this we are safe. you cannot predict life. just live it. honor yourself first. there’s some black feminists books on like love and intimacy if you are curious how capitalism binds us. we keep wanting to find solutions WITHIN when its like nah, it;s our own fuckin terms. self-love becomes the love you can extract from others. it isn’t sustainable. 

ROMANTIC LOVE WAS INVENTED TO MANIPULATE WOMEN = JENNY HOLZER

#these are all lit FOR ME #a thot #and if ppl like it so be it #saizon #i am an iNSANE romantic #huge #heh