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milkbaer · 3 years

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Eye of the storm

Nikolai Lantsov x Tidemaker!Reader

summary: »In the eye of the storm it’s always the calmest« — love hurts, even more when you met your lover again and things have changed. Especially when faced in battle love only remains a bittersweet memory. wordcount: 2.2k warnings: betrayal, angsty, hurt, „villainous“ reader a/n: played an online escape game yesterday and got inspired by it plot ... or its ending, both could be improved tbh. Bon appetite, i hope you all enjoy it. And thanks again to @sumsebien for helping me edit and finding a name :) ✨

Ravkan words

Milaya — Sweet Girl

Moya lapushka — my darling

His breath tickled your skin until he pressed his lips to your shoulder, you could still feel it, him. Even filled with exhaustion Nikolai couldn’t stop cherishing, loving you. Yourself always felt a bit disgusting, skin sticky and shining, tasting like salt. But he never cared how much you sweat or its reasons, sparing or bed, he simply couldn’t stop caressing your skin with his lips. Suddenly they were pressed flat again your shoulder blade, body laying against yours. You could feel his laugh vibrating through his body before it escaped his lips, light-hearted and true.

„What? Why are you laughing?“ You asked him groggily. But all he did was shaking his blonde messy locks, you never could resist playing with his hair, chuckling. Nikolai only admired you with a cheeky smile, hazel eyes twinkling. Never did he tell you what he found so funny, always keeping it to himself. „Nothing.“

„I am only admiring beauty itself,“ he said.

„How so? I see no mirror.“ Nikolai grinned at your words, pressing his lips to your shoulder blade in a gently but loving kiss.

. . .

„You don’t need to do this Y/N!“ Nikolai yelled, waves splashing around him, hitting the sides of his ship, mirroring his emotions. The sea was enraged, maybe more so than him. Maybe it was your doing, anger and betrayal boiling inside of you by the sight of your former lover pointing his revolver at you, his other hand resting on the holster.

His words were unheard by you, not drowned by the sea but you simply chose to ignore them. „I should’ve known that it was you behind Sturmhond. — That name is ridiculous,“ you spat, arms stretched and hands ready.

„Oh, Y/N there’s no need to hurt my feelings even more,“ he said. If you’d not threaten him with your powers, if there wasn’t the danger of battle, Nikolai would put his hand to his heart and pretend, very theatrically, to be hurt deeply. „My heart‘s already shattered.“

. . .

Head laying on his chest, feeling the beating of his heart underneath you. The steady rhythm calmed you but him telling you the story of a pirate with childish excitement in his voice did more. Looking up, lifting your head from his chest, loving the smile and excitement in his face, you said, „he sounds great, the pirate.“

Since sleep refused coming over you, even though your day had been busy, Nikolai gladly offered to tell his love a story. Not an old tale his nurse used to tell him as a young, tiny princeling. But one of a mighty, and very charming, pirate who loved to trick the rich of Kerch, Fjerda and Ravka alike.

„Privateer,“ Nikolai corrected you. „Not pirate.“

At that you rolled your eyes at him. For you there was no difference, just synonyms for the same occupation. „There’s clearly a difference.“

„Which is, pirates are very sexy and privateers not so much?“ You asked, earning a gasp from him.

„Are you telling me that you’re having a secret liaison with a ruthless, attractive pirate?“

Giggling you shook your head. „A friend lend me a romance novel with a very handsome and charming pirate.“ Nikolai looked at you with judgmental eyes, facetious telling you that he couldn’t believe you read such kinky literature. “Don’t look at me like that,” you said. “I know you read The Princess and The Barbarian. Don’t deny it, I saw a copy of it on your nightstand.”

He chuckled at that, thinking that he should’ve hid the novel in the drawer. Only few people, one could count them on one hand, knew of his love for these novels. Nikolai couldn’t explain it either but after dealing with politics, war and blueprints, these books were a nice alternative. “They’re not lewd, it’s fantastical romantic literature and very entertaining, you should try it too.”

“Hmm, maybe after you finish telling me your privateer story.”

He needn’t have been told twice. Smoothly, he continued the story where you had interrupted him, as if nothing had happened. By the smile on his face you, no, everybody even the king, could tell that Nikolai enjoyed this story. There was nothing but pure joy on his face, childlike enthusiasm. When he ended his magnificent tale, you smiled. “I think I like him, your privateer.”

“Oh, I bet you would. You know, he’s just like me, very charming and incredibly handsome.”

Playfully you scoffed, patting his chest lightly. “Don’t flatter yourself, honey.”

. . .

But it was all but a sweet, painful memory. Remembering his story, you should’ve known that he was behind Sturmhond and nobody else. Back then he had practically told you everything about the privateer, the tale and Sturmhond were almost identical. When he told you the story to make you fall asleep had he already made his plans to abandon Ravka, to leave his love behind all for a teal frock and the sea?

“You don’t understand, bastard prince,” you sneered, knowing very well that it hurt him when the one he loved referred to him as mongrel. It was easy for him to shake it off if his enemies called him like that, fuelling the rumours of Nikolai not being a Lantsov at all. But when someone familiar, someone you trusted and loved called you that, it stung. “You would never understand. I do this for Ravka, for the Grisha! No one should ever live in fear because they are gifted!”

“Y/N you’re right, no one should live in fear!” Nikolai gripped his revolver, secured in its holster, tighter when the ship wavered dangerously by your power. Not only did the true sea portray his emotions very well, they also captured yours perfectly, getting influenced by your anger. “But you’re not doing it for Ravka. This will not bring peace, not for the Grisha and not for Ravka! The only winner is the Darkling and he doesn’t care for you or our country!”

You scoffed, believing none of the lies your former love told you. “Do you? Do you care for this country?”

He wanted to say yes. Of course he cared for Ravka, its people and for you. But you left him gaping like a fish, stifling his words before he could even utter them. “No, you don’t. You left Ravka to do what? Play pirate? We’re at war and all you do is sail the sea to annoy rich men. Do you call that caring? Did you ever care about–“

“Milaya.” Sweet girl, you hadn’t heard that word in ages, not from him. Nikolai put his hands up, showing you slowly how he put his revolve back into its holster. He stood there barehanded in front of you with both hurt and anger portrayed on his face.

It was ridiculous, but that one word, one of his stupid words he used to call you, had thrown you off completely. After all that time, weeks and months of not hearing anything of him, thinking he had forgotten you, leaving you behind as if you meant nothing, he dared to use this stupid word?

Your fingers twitched; a wave of newfound pain raged through you. Without much ado, you let the sea crash against the ship’s side making Nikolai tumble in surprise and fall to his knee.

“You’ve no right to call me that!”

. . .

The warmth of the sun grazed you skin while the wind tickled it with moving grass. You shielded your eyes from the sun, tilting your head to look at the blonde prince on your right, who enjoyed the kisses from the blazing star. He looked absolutely beautiful, perfect and calm, truly like the heroes from fairy tales. It sounded cheesy, especially when you thought about that Nikolai would say the exact same about you, but you could watch him for hours. “I’ve read your book, it is really good.”

With a grin he looked at you with one eye. “Have I promised too much? I told you it’s fantastical romance literature.”

You giggled. “It is way better than I thought, really entertaining.”

“I can’t believe you hadn’t read it before,” he said, propping himself up with one arm and grinning cheekily at you. “But now that you know it, we can certainly reenact some scenes.” It was highly possible and believable that Nikolai would try out some of its scenes. He even would let you be the barbarian. Laughing and snorting you hit his chest, and he couldn’t help but to laugh along with you.

More time passed with you laughing and just laying beside each other, enjoying each other’s company. But when the clouds began to wind up, (big and fluffy but clouds nonetheless) their shadows on your face, you began to wonder. He was a prince and you Grisha. As beautiful as it was, this wasn’t meant to last.

“Sobachka,” you mumbled.

“Da, moya lapushka?”

“Will you miss me?” You asked, starring into the sky and watching the clouds slowly moving by. Nikolai didn’t know what has suddenly come over you, you didn’t know either which wave had hit you, but you didn’t dare look at him.

“Depends on where you are going,” he said nonchalant. “You’re the thief of my heart. I miss you the second you’re not by my side.”

Your heart felt heavy in your chest, imagining a life without him or seeing him in the arms of another made you want to cry. But your future was laid out like this. Nikolai was a prince, and you were a soldier of the second army, a tidemaker not a princess or diplomat’s daughter. You could serve Ravka only in one way. “I know tidemakers aren’t as useful on the field as heartrenders, inferni or squallers. And there’s a higher chance for you to die by assassination or as a solider…”

Nikolai looked at you, he knew where this was going, he knew what you were saying, and he didn’t like it. Even as the second heir to the Ravkan throne he sadly knew that he wasn’t holding the strings for his future love life. But he hated to think about it. Hated to think about you and him not being together, about you dying. Already he feared that enough.

“I know we don’t have a future together, but–” you began to sob. “I miss you. I will miss you from my grave if I have to.”

“Milaya,” Nikolai whispered, gently wiping your tears away. “Lapushka.” He took your hand in his, gently kissing it, letting his lips travel from one knuckle to another. “I miss you. I always do and I certainly don’t intend to leave you. So don’t rack your pretty head about it.”

. . .

Quickly Nikolai extended a hand but not to stop you, it was meant for his crew. It was crazy, he must have lost his mind but for now, he did not want anyone to interfere. Not even the twins were set into action, even though their power could end this tragedy in a second.

Nikolai tried to regain his balance on the madly swaying ship, knowing it was all your doing. When he finally could stand on both of his legs again, he slowly moved forward, step by step. Only for you to have him fall down again with another strong wave. He shouldn’t have but he felt proud of you, admiring your power and the way you could held yourself steady on your feet. “Y/N, love, I never intended–“

“Don’t call me that!” You shrieked, sending him back to the floor when he tried to get up again.

“I never intended to leave you.” Nikolai knew he couldn’t say that he hadn’t left you. Well, he hadn’t abandoned you. Not on purpose. When he got send to Ketterdam he swore to do the things lovers do, to send letters. First, he wrote you almost daily, mostly raving about how huge the university and interesting the city was, but also how boring classes were. Even when he got no letter in return, he kept writing, telling you monthly about his adventures on the sea only to forget it. Life as a privateer had been busy.

“Saints, stop telling lies!” You raised your arms, hands ready for the final blow. Your heart ached, still longing for the boy kneeling before you. But he had dumped you, left you in the palace, on the battlefield to play privateer. The Darkling had been right, he felt nothing for you. How would he ever understand what it felt like to be Grisha?

Finally, the tears you had been holding back for so long began to pour, streaming down your cheeks in sorrow and rage. “Don’t paint me as the villain! Everything I do, I do it for Ravka.”

“You never were the villain, love.“ His words got devoured by the sea. Blinded by your rage and pain, you let two big waves ravage over the ship’s deck, right where Nikolai stood. You couldn’t see much, your eyes grew heavy, tired, until they fell shut. The storm inside your heart was calming down, arms feeling weighty as tons. With a scowl you noticed too late that this must be the work of a heartrender, calming your heart until you fell asleep, like a raged child. The world grew dark around you, sedative and warm, letting you slip into dreamland and not even make you question why you were still alive.

#own writing #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov x reader #grishaverse #grishaverse imagine #grishaverse fanfiction #siege and storm #king of scars #shadow and bone imagine #nikolai lantsov imagine #shadow and bone fanfiction #sab #im editing this so much #Sorry Nikolai you don’t deserve this 🥲#Nikolai lantsov fanfic

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triptuckers · 3 years

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Two Homes (part 6/7) - Nikolai Lantsov

Request: no Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader Summary: you’re finally back in ketterdam Warnings: language Word count: 3.8K A/N: I literally love the crows so much they’re my comfort idiots <3 PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART TAG LIST (two homes and/or all grishaverse fics): @godsofwriting @im-constantly-fangirling @ayushmitadutta @mrs-brekker15 @dancingwith-sunflowers @thegirlwiththeimpala @parker-natasha @story-scribbler @romanoffstarkovs @daliareads @meiitanoia @itsnotquimey @sanktaesperanza @whymyparentscheckmyphone @aleksanderwh0r3 @ilovemarvelanne1 @marlenaisnthappy (if your name is in bold it means I couldn't tag you) add yourself to my tag lists here

The cold wind on your face feels welcoming. You can smell the salt and there’s water all around you. You’d made the journey across the True Sea before, but it felt like a lifetime go.

Maybe because it was a lifetime ago.

You look down at the golden ring on your finger. It feels heavier than it used to. As if you’re suddenly aware of its presence.

When you first sailed across the sea, you were Y/F/N Y/L/N. A merchant’s daughter who had joined a gang in secret. You had learned how to fight, to steal, and a number of other illegal but useful things. You had earned your place among the Crows, joining them on jobs and secretly stealing small bits of your father’s fortune job by job.

And now you’re on a ship again, as Y/F/N Lantsov. A queen, of all things. Of a country you barely know. Married to a king you met less than a year ago.

Of course, you hadn’t given the captain of the ship you’re on your real name. You’d used a name Kaz had given you once as an alias for a job. Luckily, the captain didn’t ask much questions.

You look out at the sea again. Would the Crows treat you differently now? You wanted to believe you hadn’t changed. But everything had changed. Your entire life. Still, you loved the Crows like they’re your family, and they loved you back. But you couldn’t help but wonder if they would love Y/F/N Lantsov as they loved Y/F/N Y/L/N.

You’re lost in thought, unaware of the people walking around the ship behind you. It isn’t until you hear a loud voice, you look up.

Someone is standing at the front of the ship, pointing ahead. He shouted something in a language you didn’t know. When everyone moved to see what he was pointing at, you followed them as well.

After making your way to the front, you see what he was pointing at. In the distance, barely visible on the horizon, you can see land. A city. Your beloved Ketterdam.

You’re home.

You feel like it takes forever to dock and be able to get off the ship. After pulling your hood over your face to hide your identity, you finally set foot in the city again.

Nothing’s changed. You see people moving swiftly between the people who just got off the ship. As a member of the Dregs, you know they’re pickpocketing. How many hours had you spent on the docks yourself, under Kaz’ watchful eye as he taught you.

And now, you realise you’re among their targets. You grin as you start to manoeuvre through the crowd. You know the weak and strong points, and where it was most likely to find a gang member.

Because this part of the docks belonged to the Dregs, you make sure to give them all the signs you have money on you. You keep patting your pocket. To them, it would look like you were merely checking if your money was still there. But you know for a fact your money isn’t in that pocket, and you’re simply luring them to you.

You know how to pick pockets, so you know how it feels. You walk through the crowd, fixated on your coat pocket. When you feel something brush against it, you grab the wrist of the person who walked past you, pulling them back.

The person lets out an annoyed sound and tries to pull their wrist out of your hand, but you hold a firm grip.

‘You’re still bad a this.’ you say. ‘You should let Jesper do it instead.’

You smile and let go of the wrist. When you look up, you meet Nina’s widened eyes. Your hood is still covering most part of your face, but you know she recognised your voice in an instant.

She opens her mouth to say your name, but you stop her.

‘Not here.’ you say, grabbing her hand and leading her away from the crowd. You’re impressed by her patience. But once you’re away from the crowd and in a deserted alley, she fires questions at you.

‘Y/N, it’s so good to see you!’ says Nina. ‘How are you? How is Ravka? Why did you come back to Ketterdam? Oh, tell me you pissed Zoya off in some way, I would have loved to see the look on her face.’

You chuckle at her rapid questions and hold up your hands. ‘Slow down, Nina, remember to breathe in between questions.’ you say, smiling at her.

‘I’m just so glad to see you.’ says Nina.

She reaches out to you and pulls you in a tight hug. You hug her back and inhale the scent of her signature perfume. When Nina pulls back she looks at your face and smiles.

‘Bags under your eyes, but still as gorgeous as ever.’ says Nina, winking at you.

‘Not as gorgeous as you, though.’ you say and Nina laughs.

‘You worked on your flirty comebacks!’ she says.

You smile briefly. ‘That’s what you get when you spend so much time with Nikolai.’ you say.

‘Of course!’ says Nina. ‘How is he? Why isn’t he here?’

‘I chose to come alone.’ you say. ‘I got homesick.’

‘Well, I’m glad you’re here, we have a lot to catch up on. Matthias finally took the next step.’ says Nina, smirking.

Your eyes widen. ‘He did what?’ you say. Before you left, you were Nina’s favorite person to talk to about Matthias. Whenever he said or did something, you were the first one to know. Nina told you she was hinting for Matthias to kiss her, but he remained oblivious as ever. Looks like he finally managed to figure out all of her hints.

‘Later!’ says Nina. ‘Let’s get you to the Crow Club first, I don’t want them thinking I’m keeping you all to yourself.’

Nina links her arm through yours and together, you start walking toward the club. You look at the familiar streets and shops, constantly smiling. You were finally back in Ketterdam. You’d missed it so much, it felt good to be back.

While it’s in the middle of the day, the Crow Club is busy. It always is. As you walk to your usual table with Nina, you spot three familiar faces. Inej is the first to see you.

When she does, she leaps to her feet and runs over to hug you. Her hair tickles your cheek as she hugs you. Like Nina, she immediately starts interrogating you about your time in Ravka.

After promising her you’d tell her everything, you walk the last bit to the table, where Wylan and Matthias are sitting.

Wylan smiles brightly at you and stands up to hug you as well. He’s happy to see you as well but unlike Nina and Inej, he doesn’t ask all about Ravka. Instead, he asks you how you’re doing and how your journey was.

You smile at him and tell him you’re fine, that the journey went well. Sometimes you still wondered why the always energetic Jesper had been able to find his match in Wylan, someone who you’d always considered so calm and quiet.

Matthias holds out his hand for you to shake, before Nina pulls him to his feet and basically pushes him into your arms. You laugh at his bewildered face as you hug Matthias as well.

Meanwhile, Inej had ordered a round of everyone’s favorite drink, and you all sit down. As expected, they all start to ask you all sorts of questions. About Ravka, the palace, the wedding, what it’s like being queen, and of course, Nikolai.

You tell them you refuse to answer their questions until Jesper and Kaz are here, so you can tell them all at once. Wylan had told you they were away on a job. To kill the time, you asked them what had happened in Ketterdam while you were away.

Apparently, a lot.

‘I got shot.’ says Inej.

‘Twice.’ says Wylan, taking a sip of his drink and turning back to you. ‘And Jesper almost dropped me off a building.’

‘Come again?’ you say.

‘We were on a roof during a job, Jesper wasn’t paying attention and nearly knocked me off of it.’ says Wylan, not a single hint of fear in his voice. He had changed so much since you first met him. Maybe that’s what Ketterdam does to you, it hardens you, forces you to grow up.

‘I got in a fight with the Stadwatch.’ says Matthias.

‘And I had to bail you out of a holding cell.’ says Nina.

‘Only because someone knocked me out from behind. It wasn’t a fair fight.’ says Matthias.

Nina turns to you. ‘Heleen wanted for Inej and me to come back to the Menagerie.’ she says.

‘You’re kidding, right?’ you say. ‘You’re telling me she had the fucking guts to ask you that?’

‘Well, it was more like sending one of her new guys to deliver the message. Kaz sent him back with five fingers instead of ten, and without a tongue. I think she got her answer.’ says Nina.

‘Sounds like something Kaz would do.’ you say. ‘What else did I miss?’

‘Jesper almost let Wylan shoot with his guns.’ says Inej.

You raise your eyebrows at Wylan. ‘Jesper allowed you to touch his precious revolvers?’ you say.

‘Almost.’ says Wylan, correcting you. ‘He changed his mind right before handing me one.’

You’re enjoying their company. You laugh and catch up on what’s happening in Ketterdam, buying rounds for the table. Every now and then they ask you something about Ravka, but you still refuse to tell them anything until all of the Crows are present.

Several drinks and card games later, the club slowly begins to empty. Just as Wylan beats you in a game of card, his eye catches someone behind you and he waves at them.

Before you can turn around, you feel a pair of arms wrap around your shoulders, and a chin on top of your head.

‘There’s only one person who always sits in this spot.’

You smile and turn around. Towering over you, and with a huge grin on his face, Jesper is standing behind you. Your expression mirrors his as you stand up. Jesper wraps you in a bone-crushing hug. You close your eyes, grateful for his embrace.

When you let go of him, you smile up at him, then your eyes catch the person who had been standing behind Jesper.

‘Hi Kaz.’ you say.

Kaz nods at you and you’re convinced you can spot the smallest smile on his lips. Barely visible, but still there.

Wylan pulls two more chairs from the empty table next to yours, and Jesper and Kaz sit down.

‘So.’ says Jesper as Wylan hands him his drink. ‘What did we miss? How much have you all heard about a certain king?’

‘Nothing.’ says Nina. ‘Y/N didn’t tell us anything. She wanted to wait until you two got here a well.’

Jesper turns to you and winks. ‘Here I am. I’m all ears, darling.’ he says.

You take a breath and finish your drink. ‘Alright.’ you say. ‘What do you want to know?’

Everything, it seemed. They asked you about life at the palace, about your daily routines, if there really was a buffet every day, and if it was as big as the stories described. And they wanted to know all about Nikolai. What he’s like, if he’s a good king, what it was like to be married to him.

You told them life at the palace couldn’t be more different from the life in Ketterdam. You told them about the gardens, the meetings which were boring almost all of the time, the triumvirate. You told them Nikolai is very sweet, handsome, and a great king.

The rest of the night is spent talking, laughing, playing games and ordering more drinks. You’re exhausted but grateful to be back as you lay down in your old bed. Just before you fall asleep, you realise just how happy you are to be back.

It’s easy to fall back into your old routines when you walk down the stairs to the kitchen. Wylan and Inej are already there, along with a plate of steaming hot pancakes.

You’re grateful to be back, and eager to accompany them on jobs again. Still hiding your face and true identity. Last time you were in Ketterdam, you worried about your father finding out you were a member of the Dregs. Now you had to hide the fact the queen of Ravka is running along with gang members. Needless to say, you were slightly more nervous about someone recognising you.

But when you joined Jesper, Wylan and Nina on a job later that day, their presence was enough to soothe your nervousness.

Everything felt right. Though you had been away for almost a year, it was like you never left. The way you knew what to do without them having to tell you was comfortable. Everything was all right. You couldn’t believe you were finally back in Ketterdam.

You had missed life in Ketterdam and your crows very much. And you were thankful to see they didn’t treat you any differently. On your first night back, your life in Ravka had been the number one topic, but now you felt like Y/F/N Y/L/N again.

You joined them on jobs, played card games, chatted with Nina and Inej over drinks. It felt good to be home.

But a little over a week after you arrived in Ketterdam, you start to feel down. You didn’t know why. You’re finally back home, just like you wanted. You should be happy, grateful, not miserable.

You’re sitting at a table by yourself, silently drinking your favorite drink, when suddenly Kaz joins you.

It was unusual for Kaz to join anyone for drinks. Mostly he was upstairs in his office, doing whatever the hell he did up there. Looking for new jobs maybe, or making sure the younger Dregs didn’t do anything stupid.

When he would join you and the others for drinks, it was mostly because you all had begged him to come along. Kaz wasn’t one to join someone for a drink out of nowhere.

Nevertheless, you were happy he decided to join you.

‘How are you liking Ketterdam?’ he asks.

‘It’s good to be home.’ you say, smiling at him.

You watch as Kaz studies your face. You know there’s something on his mind, and you’re waiting for him to speak up as you nurse your drink.

‘Something has made you upset.’ says Kaz.

It wasn’t a question, more like a statement. You look at him in silence for a while. You tried lying to Kaz once, and he could tell immediately. You figured it was some sort of hidden talent of his. No one could lie to him and get away with it.

You look at your hands, to avoid his eyes.

‘Why didn’t you come to my wedding?’ you say.

‘We didn’t want to risk it.’ says Kaz. ‘Traveling abroad would have ended in our capture. Besides, I thought you didn’t want to marry king Nikolai.’

‘I didn’t.’ you say. ‘Not at first. But once I got to know him, well, it all changed. He’s actually a really great guy.’

You finally look up at Kaz. You finish your drink and signal to the bartender for another one. Again, Kaz is studying your face. You wish he’d look away, you always felt like he could see right through you.

‘There’s something else.’ he says.

You frown. ‘No.’ you say, truthfully. There was nothing else to mention.

‘Come on, spit it out.’ he says.

‘There’s nothing to spit out?’ you say, confused.

‘You’re not yourself. Not like I remember, at least. You said you’d be happier once you got back to Ketterdam. Well, you’re here now. You were happy last week, when you arrived. I have yet to see you genuinely smile, aside from the night you got back.’ says Kaz.

Why did he always have to be right? It was starting to get annoying. Kaz would tell you the truth, even if you didn’t want to hear it.

‘I thought I’d be happy to be home.’ you admit softly, avoiding his eyes again. ‘I’m not. And I don’t know why. I’m finally home, like I wanted, but it doesn’t feel like it.’

‘Y/N, look at me.’ says Kaz.

You keep looking at the table. The bartender sets down your new drink in front of you and you briefly look up at them to thank them. Still, you don’t look at Kaz. As you reach to grab your drink, Kaz’ cane lands on the table hard. Shocked and a bit offended, you look up at him.

‘Listen to me.’ says Kaz. ‘You can have two homes, Y/N. You came back to Ketterdam because you miss us. But you haven’t taken your ring off. Despite leaving the palace, yous till use Lantsov as your last name, aside from when you had to travel across the True Sea. Go back to the palace. Tell that king of yours that you love him. And come visit us during the summer.’

You look at Kaz, letting his words sink in. Two homes. Os Alta and Ketterdam. It could work. You’d spend your days with Nikolai, and spend the summer in Ketterdam.

Suddenly, you think back to your goodbye with Nikolai before you had left for Ketterdam. It wasn’t a proper goodbye, because you couldn’t wait to go to Ketterdam. He deserved more.

Maybe Kaz is right. Maybe you could have two homes.

Kaz had been looking at you as you went over it all in your head.

‘Two homes.’ you mutter softly.

You quickly finish your drink and get up. ‘I have to go.’ you say.

Despite it being late at night, you head up the stairs of the Slat and to knock on everyone’s door. You knew they’d be alarmed if you wake them, because there was an unwritten rule that you didn’t wake someone up in the middle of the night, unless something very bad was going on.

When you knock on Jesper’s door, Wylan is the one who opens it. There’s still light in the room and there’s a pencil in his hand. He must have been working on some sketches for a new project. When you glance over his shoulder you see Jesper sprawled out on the bad, fast asleep.

‘Is everything alright?’ says Wylan.

‘Yes, it’s fine, I just came to say goodbye.’ you say.

Wylan frowns, then smiles. ‘You’re going back to Ravka.’ he says.

You nod. ‘I need to see Nikolai.’ you say. ‘Can I say goodbye to Jesper real quick?’

Wylan steps aside so you can enter the room. You walk over to the bed, kneel beside it and shake Jesper’s shoulders. He wakes with a string of words you can’t quite understand.

‘Jes.’ you say softly. ‘It’s me, Y/N, I'm here to say goodbye. I’m going back to Ravka.’

He mumbles a “good for you, have fun” before falling back asleep.

You smile at move to rise to your feet again. You hug Wylan and after another goodbye, you leave their room, walking the stairs to the next floor.

Inej walks out of her room, holding a bunch of dirty dishes in her hands. She must have been on her way downstairs to put them away.

‘Hey.’ she says. ‘What are you still doing up?’

‘Saying goodbye.’ you say. ‘I’m going back to the palace.’

Like Wylan, Inej smiles. ‘Tell the king I said hi.’ she says.

‘I will.’ you say. ‘Goodbye Inej, I’ll be back for a visit soon.’

You walk to the next floor and knock on Nina’s door. It takes her a while to open the door, but you knew she would. When she does open the door, her hair is messy, she was clearly fast asleep just like Jesper.

‘What happened?’ says Nina, voice thick of sleepiness. ‘Who’s in trouble?’

‘No one’s in trouble.’ you say. ‘I’m here to say goodbye. I’m going back to Nikolai.’

‘You’re leaving again?’ says Nina. ‘But you just got here.’

‘I’ll be back for a visit in summer.’ you say. ‘In fact, I’m going to visit every summer. But right now I need to go back.’

‘To Nikolai.’ says Nina.

‘Yes.’ you say.

‘Give him a kiss from me.’ she says.

‘Nina!’ you say, making her laugh.

‘I’m kidding!’ she says. ‘How about give him a hug from me?’

You nod and Nina pulls you in her arms. You close your eyes, trying to capture the moment. You were going to miss them. But you’d be back in summer. When Nina lets go of you, she smiles brightly.

‘Wait here, you can say goodbye to Matthias too.’ she says.

She enters the room and seconds later she reappears, with Matthias behind her. Just like Nina, he looks like he just woke up. He’s squinting his eyes as he looks down at you.

‘You’re leaving?’ he says.

‘For a while.’ you say. ‘I’ll be back in summer.’

‘Alright.’ says Matthias.

Unlike the night when you arrived in Ketterdam, Nina doesn’t have to shove him into your arms. Matthias steps forward and pulls you in for a hug.

‘Take care.’ he says as he pulls away.

Nina moves past Matthias and pulls you in for another hug.

‘That first one was for Nikolai, this one’s for you.’ she whispers.

You blink furiously to stop the tears from falling. Saints, you really were going to miss them. But there was no need for tears, you’d see them again in summer. You smile at her as she pulls away.

‘I’m going to miss you.’ you say. ‘All of you.’

‘You’ll see us again.’ says Nina. ‘Now go! You’ve kept him waiting for long enough.’

You walk down the stairs, and grab your coat when you get to the bottom of the stairs. You poke your head around the door and see Kaz is still sitting in the same spot.

‘Bye, Kaz!’ you say and you wave at him.

He nods at you and briefly smiles. And then you’re out the door.

You don’t even know if there would be a ship at the docks that would sail to Ravka. But you’re still determined to head to Ravka as fast as you could. You walk down the streets toward the docks.

You were going back to Ravka, to your king.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

#nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone #grishaverse #Nikolai Lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov fanfiction #nikolai lantsov fanfic #nikolai lantsov fanfics #Nikolai Lantsov fic #Nikolai Lantsov fics #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone fics #two homes series

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aquagirl1978 · 3 years

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To New Beginnings - Lovestruck AU Fanfic - Various Love Interests

A/N: I thought I was done with the original trilogy, but Antares returning brought a fourth chapter out of me. In this chapter, the group gathers to say goodbye to the LIs that are returning for new routes. I was inspired by @aliboo's amazing artwork in where she created "glam" portraits of some LIs (permission granted by @aliboo to repost)

Credit to @violettduchess for creating this amazing AU where all the retired LIs continue to exist - her story can be found HERE.

Warnings: None

Tagging: @mcira @enchantedlovestruckfan @otakufangirl-12 @fan-girl-2 @remys-lucky-franc

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"Here you go, Nikolai. Just as you asked," she said with a wink as she pressed the martini into his hand. "Shaken, not stirred."

"Niko, you've truly taken to the notion of the masquerade party, completely transforming yourself into your chosen character," Remy announced as he swept into the room. He sat across from Nikolai in a plush velvet lounge chair and crossed an ankle over his knee. "Aeryn, is my tea ready yet?" he asked, a faint Russian accent slipping into his voice.

Nikolai peered at Remy over his martini glass, his brows furrowed. "Now who are you supposed to be?"

"Why you, of course!" Remy exclaimed, his green eyes sparkling with joy. "Onyx was kind enough to find me some turtlenecks. You remember your phase years ago when all you wore were these things?" Remy tugged at the neck with his fingers. "How did you do it, these are dreadfully constricting?" When he noticed Nikolai's mouth agape, with no words coming forth, Remy continued, returning to his French accent. "Anyway, I thought you'd be flattered I chose to dress as you, Niko."

"I'm not sure flattered is the word I would choose. Perhaps, instead..."

"He's flattered, Remy," Aeryn interjected, placing a gentle hand on Nikolai's thigh. "He's just not there yet."

"Oh no, no. Not more of this!" Nikolai shouted when Jett and Leon entered the room. Jett was dressed in a crisp white shirt and tailored black suit jacket. Leon was sporting a plaid button-down shirt and black suspenders.

"When Remy told us who he was dressing as, we thought we'd join in the fun," Jett said. "I also never thought I'd ever get Leon to wear my suspenders."

"How much convincing did he need?" Remy asked.

"Not nearly as much as you'd think," Jett replied, gently elbowing Leon in the ribs. "It suits you, Daddy," Jett added with a smirk.

Leon's cheeks immediately turned pink. "Stop. Just stop."

"Don't you two look cute," Sevastian snickered, leaning lazily against the wall.

Nikolai nearly dropped his glass. "Now who are you supposed to be?" His face was blanched; Nikolai looked truly terrified by the wicked prince.

Sevastian pushed himself from the wall and made his way to the nearby mirror to fix his hair in the reflection. "Dave...something?"

"David Bowie!" Jett shrieked in Nikolai's ear as he plopped down next to him on the couch.

Nikolai arched an eyebrow. "I assume you had something to do with this?" Nikolai gestured towards Sevastian.

"I think you look great," Aeryn offered, ignoring Nikolai.

"You think so?" Sevastian asked sincerely to which Aeryn nodded. "Do you think she will come?" he whispered, speaking only to her.

Today was a special occasion. Normally, this group of retired LIs celebrated when an LI joined them when their route ended. But today...today they say goodbye to some of their friends. Antares, Nova and Aurora were leaving them to start new adventures with new MCs. To mark this momentous occasion, some of the current LIs and MCs were coming to bring them back.

Sevastian, of course, sent word to his MC, inviting her to join him at this party. He went as far as to tell her he was dressing up, and with Jett's help, gave her an idea or two of who she could come as.

"Yes," Aeryn replied, smiling. "Of course, she will come. And I'm dying to meet her!" Sevastian brightened, a small smile forming on his lips.

Remy stood and clapped his hands. “Let’s go mingle with the others. Can’t hide here in our little corner all night,” he added with a chuckle, winking at Nikolai. The group stood and followed Remy to the party. Nikolai begrudgingly joined them, Aeryn’s hand clasped firmly in his.

“How’s this all going to work…an LI paired with a new MC?” Jett asked as they entered the main room. The party was in full swing, with some of the partygoers dressed in costume and others remaining in their regular clothes. Unlike parties of the past, the music was not loud and booming, but rather somewhat subdued. There was a sense of sadness lingering in the room; usually these parties were to welcome a friend, not say goodbye to one.

“It’s cheating, if you ask me,” Leon replied, grabbing a glass of champagne from a nearby tray. “I would never want to return with a new LI.” Leon smiled at Aeryn as he spoke, his eyes twinkling with love.

“I agree with Leon. I would never want to come back with a new MC,” Nikolai added, placing a sweet kiss on the top of Aeryn’s head.

“I would gladly come back,” Remy interjected.

“That’s simply because you only got 4 seasons,” Nikolai said with a smirk. Remy scoffed, mock affronted.

“Oh look,” Aeryn said while grabbing Nikolai’s arm, an obvious move to change subjects. “Look at Atlas! Is he --?”

Nikolai peered over Aeryn’s shoulder, observing the pilot in the distance. Atlas was wearing a shabby black vest over a plain shirt that once upon a time might have been white. His MC was with him, her hair in a style he could only describe as appearing to be cinnamon buns. Atlas was, much to Nikolai’s shock, positively glowing. His cheeks were a ruddy red and he was roaring with laughter.

“He is most definitely plastered!” Jett snickered.

“He’s just excited the Emperor is leaving. Means more time with his MC,” Sevastian noted wistfully.

"Where's Antares, Nova and Rory?" Remy questioned.

"Nova and Rory said their goodbyes last night. Antares early this morning," Leon answered. "They wanted their final moments to be private. As they should be." The group murmured in silent agreement.

“Speaking of MCs…. shouldn’t the others be here by now?” Aeryn asked, glancing around the room. Off to the side, Aeryn spotted Darius chatting with Cal and Wrath. Only Darius was dressed up in a leather jacket and, for some unknown reason, wearing sunglasses indoors. Aeryn couldn’t put her finger on who he was supposed to be, but knew he was trying to be someone.

“Slater,” Nikolai groaned painfully, “please tell me you were not responsible for that.” Nikolai pointed an angry finger at Sascha. The entire group cringed as they watched Sascha dance dramatically around the room, dressed all in black, his face covered in black and white markings.

“Bloody hell,” Jett uttered. “No. Absolutely no. I had nothing to do with that.”

"Does anyone know who that is?" Aeryn points out an attractive brunette dressed in a maroon off-the-shoulder jumpsuit.

"She's kinda cute," Remy leered. Nikolai rolled his eyes at the Frenchman.

"She reminds me of my race car driving days, but I don't know her from anywhere," Leon reminisced. "Maybe she is..."

"They're here, they're FINALLY here!" Onyx's voice rang throughout the room.

Sevastian nervously glanced around the room, his fingers fidgeting by his sides. They're here; she is here. That is, if she came. What if she's not here? What if she wanted to, but couldn't come?

Sevastian was so preoccupied by his rambling thoughts that he didn't notice Aeryn approached him until she was under his nose. "You won't find her standing here," she said softly, urging him to search for his love.

With a smirk, Sevastian turned, and headed towards the crowd. Please let her be here, please, please, please. He thought it was her when he spotted a flash of red in the crowd, but it was only Cecelia. And he ran into Darius again. He stopped and began to seriously fret that perhaps his love just couldn't come. And then he felt it.

It hit him so fast; their connection had laid dormant for so long that he almost didn't recognize it. He didn't need to see her to know she was there, he felt her. Their connection tugged at his heart as a sense of serenity washed over him, stilling him to his spot.

A pair of hands slid over Sevastian's eyes as a familiar voice tickled his ear. "I almost didn't recognize you." Krystal felt his body slump against hers in quiet relief. He moved her hands from his eyes down to his lips, where he brushed a kiss on the inside of her wrist, before finally settling her hands around his waist. "So warm," she teased, as she soaked in his scent. He huffed out a small laugh as he intertwined his fingers with hers, enjoying the press of her body against his.

He shifted in her arms, unable to wait even a second longer. He had to see her, taste her, feel her. He cradled her face in his hands; his eyes gazed down upon her, admiring her like she was his own special gem, while his thumbs grazed her pink cheeks.

“I missed you.” Her lip trembled as she whispered the words. Krystal looked up at him expectantly, her turquoise eyes full of love, shimmering against the lights of the party. His thumb brushed against her lower lip, causing Krystal to sigh and shiver against his taut body.

With eyes closed, his mouth found hers. He buried his hands in her hair, pulling her closer to him. Breathing in her sweet, floral scent, the scent he gave her, he deepened the kiss, his tongue twisting and twirling around hers. They soon parted, both panting, foreheads still touching.

He eventually pulled back, curious to see how she looked. His breath hitched when he saw what she had done to herself – her fiery locks were teased, curls spilling down past her bare shoulders, and on her face, her skin was adorned with sparkling jewels and gems.

“You’re ridiculous.” She slid her hands in the open cut of his shirt, resting her palms on his bare chest, his heartbeat quickening under her touch. “A very sexy ridiculous, but still…” She rose on tiptoe and placed a quick kiss on his lips. “Ridiculous.”

“And you, my love, are magnificent.” He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, nudging her closer, and kissed her again. They stood there, embraced in one another’s arms for what felt like both an eternity and a split second. “I have some friends I’d like you to meet,” he murmured tentatively into her hair.

Taking his hand in hers, Krystal looked up at his, smiling brightly. “I’d love to.”

After introducing Krystal to the group, everyone gathered by the bar for a much-needed drink.

“I see he is still having fun,” Leon pointed to the pilot, who was surprisingly still standing after all this time.

“Let the lovebirds have fun, Leon!” Aeryn chided.

“I agree,” added Krystal. She nuzzled against Sevastian as he wrapped his arms tightly around her.

Leon, Jett and Remy all look down into their drinks and groaned in unison. Nikolai shared a knowing look with Sevastian, winking at the Winter Prince. It was good to see him smiling again.

“What does someone have to do to get a drink around here?” a voice from behind called out arrogantly.

“Spoiled by your private bar, eh, Emperor?” Atlas called out from the other side of the bar. Antares sighed and shook his head. He glanced over by the pilot, and saw his MC.

His face immediately fell, and he awkwardly adjusted his necktie. “Stupid blasted costume,” he muttered to himself. “Should have worn my uniform, would have been happier…” Antares looked over at his MC again. She was holding Atlas’ hands, leaning into every word he was saying. Probably regaling her with some stories about his days with the Union. Antares scoffed. Antares had stories, many more left to be told. Only now they will be shared with a new MC.

He picked up his glass of honey wine and before he could take a sip, he noticed everyone staring at him. “Yes?”

“Let’s make a toast,” Remy announced. He held his glass up and the others followed. “To new beginnings.”

“To new beginnings,” Antares whispered.

#lovestruck #fanfic #fanfiction #lovestruck fanfiction #reigning passions #queen of thieves #sevastian of the winter #nikolai stirling #jett slater #remy chevalier #leon kwan #antares fairchild #atlas molniya #starship promise

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fromdarkseekinglight · 3 years

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Leave Mal Alone + Shadow & Bone Trilogy Review

OK, here it is my long review about Mal character and why you really cannot hate him. I was kind of shocked of reading people calling him “controlling” “alpha-male with masculinity issues” “abusive” “anti-feminist” etc. etc. First, you all are maybe kind of exaggerating !!! Second, judging someone (fictional or not) without actually understanding what he/she is going through or went through, shows a huge lack of emphaty. Let’s breaking it down together: Mal and Alina are family for each other, loving each other like brother and sister, and once they grew up they started feeling something more. Maybe Alina understands that sooner, while Mal lingers a bit in this new life of super successful hot soldier/tracker (reminder, he is 18 !!! and grew up with nothing so it’s just so human to let the fame kind of taking you away). BUT STILL, he cares a lot for Alina. Beginning of book #1 , the night before the crossing - YES he goes with Zoya (he is single right?) - but FIRST he goes checking up on Alina, because he worries about her and tells her that on the other side of the fold they will be together drinking “JUST THE TWO OF US BECAUSE IT’S ALWAYS BEEN ME AND YOU” (quote Mal). Also, Alina never shared with him her feelings so he might just be as stupid as every boy and not suspecting anything. He might even be already feeling something for her, but afraid of being unrequited . We will never know because we are in Alina’s mind since the book is in her POV. Going ahead in the story, Alina shows her power and is brought to the Little Palace where she struggle a bit but then kind of fall for the Darkling (FAIR, she is human too and you need a lot of strength to resist THAT - also she is single so she can do as she pleases). Like Mal she gets herself little transported by fame which is completely OK, they still care for each other but they are both still single, right? Mal is kind of shocked by that night on the skiff but actually he asks around and tries to find info about her, how she is, how he can reach her and no one answers him. Gossips say she is being tortured, and off he goes on a suicide mission just to have the chance to help her and meet her again. After months in the ice he makes his first kills and loses two friends so HE IS KIND OF TRAUMATIZED, you know?! He arrives finally at the Little Palace, finds her all happy with the Darkling and even though he didn’t have the right he gets mad (again, he is human, traumatized, didn’t quite process yet the love for her, and little overwhelmed.) BUT STILL, After that night, he manages to pull out a long list of things he does out of love and utter devotion for her: - He deserts, giving up his life of successful tracker and knowing he might end up hanged for saving her life; - He is actually the one proposing to get the stag for Alina so she can get stronger and fight (so NO he doesn’t seem he is afraid of her power - NO masculinity issues at all); - They get captured, he is about to die, and yet tells her the he loves her, even the part of her that loves the Darkling (one of the best love lines ever, much butter than the one they put in the show); - After being a little bit on the road, because they did not have much choices, they get captured again, and yet he helps her killing the second amplifier while she couldn’t, even though he was concerned because she told him how actually wearing TWO amplifiers can be dangerous. - She decides to go back to Os Alta with Nikolai without even discussing it with him first (OF COURSE they have to go back and fight but he is wanted and might end up dead so it would have been nice to decide together how and when go back and fight, since you guys are in a kind of relationship) - STILL, he follows her, accepted to hide their relationship for strategical reasons, to be nothing more than a personal guard, they are never alone, they don’t see each other that much, she doesn’t talk to him for weeks about her visions and eventually she flinches when they kiss.

Now tell me, how can a human - a VERY YOUNG HUMAN BEING - profundly in love can bear all of this and not braking down. Yes he turned miserable and gets mad and start drinking and eventually refuses to let her explain but he was just broken and Alina helped a lot in putting him so down (even though I might understand some of her choices and that she felt overwhelmed and alone too). One thing sure, for all the second book I wanted to kick both of them CAN YOU JUST TALK kids ???!!!! However, he eventually pushes himself out of misery, proposing again to go and find the third amplifier for her while she stay safe and sound with Nikolai at the Palace. What then? The Darkling attacks them and while Nikolai runs to safe his family she decides to stay and fight and OF COURSE Mal NEVER leaves her. NEVER. He became a blade, a weapon, just to keep her safe, shutting out his feelings because he finally understand that his profound love in their sad historic circumstances couldn’t be a priority and was just making him act like an idiot, he tells her to marry the prince so she can be a Queen. Ah, major detail, in the end he dies for her.

So NO, I don’t think he can ever possibly be labelled as bad or abusive or controlling, I see just a human (beyond gender) who suffers and makes mistakes along the road but makes up for them quite fast and stays loyal all the time with his emotions and he is just completely devoted to the woman he loves. Please just find me a man like this.

So, concluding my pleading for my beloved Mal and going back to a more general review of the trilogy, I will add that the three books are quite obviosly a love story (every book starts and ends with the girl and the boy, com’on) set up in dark fantasy world. Mal and Alina love story is given to you right away like the main theme of the trilogy. They grow up they make mistakes the fight they suffer and all the time they have to adjust to new circumstances both alone with themself and in their relationship. Sometimes life makes people grown apart but other times the love is so profound and pure that you make it work despite everything.

I really love the ending, because in a world (like our real world planet earth) where love doesn’t matter anymore and humans are just constantly greeding for more power our sweet and strong she-hero eventually choses LOVE. And it was a honest choice, because even though she had lost her powers for major force reasons, Nikolai still wanted her to be his queen and she said no.

(Also NO Mal didn’t ever ask her to give up her power, of course he wished to have a normal life with her without power and responsability but he knew it wasn’t just possible).

I will just say one more thing for those who made it at the end of this long post. Since I finished the books some days ago I kept thinking and struggling over this question: how can I, a 33 yrs old woman (def not a YA) can manage to be so hit by this story? Now I finally have the answer: Alina and Mal are real humans that make the fantasy fictional background - which I love - less important. Leigh has done an outstanding work in builiding and stratifing her characters, even if we are always in Alina’s mind, I had always an incredible emphaty with both Mal and The Darkling just by reading their dialogues with the protagonist, thus in an indirected way. Maybe it’s because I’m quite older than the general audience and life thaught me a bit about understanding the others emotions and story before to judge at all.

At the end, we are thrown in this world without asking and we are just making our best.

#Malina #Alina Starkov #Malyen Oretsev #Mal #Alina #Shadow And Bone #Siege And Storm #Ruin And Rising #Shadow And Bone Trilogy #Shadow And Bone Books #Grishaverse #Alina And Mal #Mal And Alina #Leave Mal Alone #Love Really Matters

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nazyalenskyism · 4 years

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Share This Dance

Summary: A last dance between a general and her king. A/N: A late day 14 of @spookywafflesandkruge ‘s Soft/Angstober prompt list using ‘dance’ and ‘cry’! I enjoyed writing this one and I hope you like reading it! <3 As always any feedback is appreciated! Ao3: Share This Dance

“Thanks,” Zoya mumbled, taking a glass from a passing serve hoping that maybe this drink would be enough to help ease the pain. It probably wouldn’t, but that wouldn’t stop her from trying. Across the room, she saw Genya, with David at her side entertaining a group of guests, Tamar and Nadia flirting in a corner, and Tolya stationed a slight distance away from the stage at the front of the room. And then there, in the middle of the dance floor, Nikolai spun his new fiancé around in their first dance as an engaged couple. Zoya refused to let herself turn away. This was a reality. She was the one who had pushed and pushed for this exact result, she didn’t get to feel wary about it now. Her king, her country, her people, this decision was what was best for them all.

She wondered if she could leave yet. Maybe she could excuse herself, saying she was unwell, falling asleep until this nonsense was over. But she was commander of the Second Army, a member of the King’s Grisha Triumvirate, a high ranking general, and a woman who would be murdered by Genya Safin if she even thought about leaving less than an hour into the festivities. As if sensing her traitorous thoughts, Genya’s eyes found hers, and she could see the warning in them, ‘if you leave…’ she didn’t want to finish the thought. Giving Genya a small nod, she continued to scan the dance floor, looking for a distraction as the music ended, when he looked right at her. He held her gaze for a moment, and for that second, Zoya thought she saw something flicker in his eyes. Something. Nothing. But sooner than she could think on it, he turned, offering a hand to Genya and pulling her onto the floor for the next dance. Zoya took the opportunity to leave her comfortable corner and stand with David, as she knew Genya would want her to do. She spent the entirety of the next song chatting with the Duke of somewhere and the Duchess of elsewhere, grateful for all the times Nikolai had dragged her along to his meetings with nobles. She had been standing in for the role that Nikolai had now filled, a wife, a queen, who would help with that, and in all other aspects of his life too. The foolish part of her mourned that time now lost as she sat alone in her chambers, finishing her work in a tired silence without the companionship of the last three years to make it bearable.

The last few notes of the quick tempoed song ended with a flourish as she assumed people clapped at Genya and Nikolai’s enthusiastic performance, the two best dancers in the palace were also the two biggest show offs. Zoya’s conversation partners hurried off as whispers spread of the next song after the break being a classic for the Lantsov’s parties. Surrounded by Ravkan’s in all their finery, she felt the stone tumbling down the well of loss inside her, they all left her. They always left her. She was as alone as she had always been. ***

As Genya scurried off with David in tow. Nikolai took a second to catch his breath, Genya could give him a run for his money with her dancing. Her last words before she pulled away replayed in his mind, ‘I can see the way your eyes follow her.’ He’d brushed it off in the moment, but the more he thought about it now, the more discomforted he felt. She had been able to see something within him that he would never be able to acknowledge again.

Whispers filled the air about the next song that would be playing. Nikolai had chosen it to be the third dance of the night, it was nearly twice as long as the standard song, and it carried a significance he couldn’t afford to put into words. Her eyes were closed when he approached, as if she was trying to pause time to take a single breath. Under the brightness of the chandeliers and moonlight she looked like a lonesome saint, in her sapphire blue of her elegant gown she shone in a manner that would put the vault of Lantsov jewels to shame.

“Commander Nazyalensky,” her eyes flew open, and he thought he saw a spark of anger following her initial confusion. Was she mad at him? Or had he imagined it? Perhaps she was simply irritated that he’d interrupted her quiet. “Commander Nazyalensky, would you do me the honour of sharing this dance with me?” Zoya’s eyes darted to his extended hand, the slight inclination of his head. Her fingers shook near imperceptibly as she slipped her hand into his gloved one and he led her to the dance floor. She carefully placed her hand on his shoulder in textbook position, making sure there was a solid distance between them.

“Speak, Nazyalensky. If you keep scowling at me like that, people may think you don’t like me.”

She rolled her eyes, her posture relaxing slowly as the music began to play. “I don’t like you.”

“Three years working together and you can’t praise even one of my many good qualities?”

“What’s there to praise?” she scoffed, “ even if there was, I couldn’t risk your ego getting any bigger.”

Nikolai felt himself smile as they swayed across the dance floor, the distance between them slowly getting smaller. Something had changed in the past few weeks. He’d been busy with Ehri and planning for the ball in addition to his usual work, anything to take his mind off of a certain raven-haired storm. Since that night in the fold, he felt like they’d toed a line, but that they hadn’t been able to cross over to either side, so now here they stood, with no choice but to stay faltering in the middle or be torn to either side. She had been perfectly civil in meetings and when they had joint tasks, but he missed having her there in the mornings when he woke up, in the evening when they worked as a team, at night when she locked him away. She’d insisted that none of it was necessary anymore, and she’d been right, they both knew it, but it didn’t ease the heart of the boy who longed for his companion.

“So,” Nikolai began, shaking out of his reprieve as the music began to pick up.

“So…?”

“Did you know that this song was composed for the very first Lantsov King by Sankt Grigori? It was meant to be the Saints’ gift to the new king.” Zoya nodded, and he paused to spin her, trying to ignore the way his heart lurched when her hand braced on his chest before settling back on his shoulder. “It’s supposed to be a welcome to the new king, a piece reminding him about loss but also a hopeful future.”

Zoya hesitated, “so you chose it to make a statement? To celebrate your new engagement, and to usher in a brighter future?” She felt that same jolt of pain she’d felt when Nikolai had announced his engagement. She had no right to feel anything at that. He was not hers, he had done nothing to indicate that he had ever wanted to be hers— and even if he had, they both knew that it would never be possible. But as much as she tried to rationalize it, it still stung. She had always wanted to know if someone like Nikolai could love her— and now she realized, as the moonlight lit up his intelligent eyes, she’d also wanted to know if someone like Nikolai would.

Was it the ridiculous emotions bubbling inside of her, or was he drawing her closer? “Lantsov.”

“Nazyalensky?”

“What are you doing? Don’t think I won’t step on your foot for your impropriety.”

“I have no doubt that you would,” he smiled, but she could sense a hint of wistfulness in his gaze as he drew her in closer yet, still a socially acceptable distance but much closer than she’d been earlier. “I just wanted to enjoy this moment,” he whispered slowly, not meeting her eyes. “I thought you might appreciate the meaning behind the song. When I was revisiting it’s history I thought of you.”

Her eyebrows furrowed, “you thought of me? Why, because I’m a hopeful future? For what? Ravka, as it’s ‘protector?’” She was truly confused, what was he going on about?

“Each Lantsov king interprets it differently.” Nikolai drew in her for one final spin as the last notes of the song played out, and she felt his lips brush her ear as he guided her past him. “It’s a song of loss, of what could have been, the hope of a future that we may never see, to me.”

She felt her feet stumble at his words. She tried to meet his eyes as the song ended, demanding an answer but before she knew it he was pulling away, bowing slightly before kissing a chaste kiss to her hand. He turned, marching back to Tolya while she blindly made her way over to Genya’s side, dumbfounded.

She was itching to go to the library, she needed to read about the song, but she still couldn’t leave, not with Genya glowing with pride at her creation. She suffered through hours more of the ball, entertaining dignitaries while watching Nikolai’s gilded hair rounding the dancefloor from the corner of her eye. When the festivities were finally over and the king had left, she broke away to the library, needing to know what that idiot had been prattling on about. Only when she was back in her chambers did she open the book. There, under the passage about the different interpretations of the song was a sentence underlined in black ink, leading to a note carefully calligraphed in the margins. She recognized the writing, she saw it daily. She recoiled as she read the words, sinking back against the door. The words were what he’d said to her before the Saints had taken them.

“This is the part where the king of Ravka surrenders himself, and the love we never had lives on in ballads and song.”

Zoya let out a hiss as she felt anger and pain build behind her eyes, blurring her vision. She had wondered, wanted to know if someone like Nikolai could love her, would love her. But the problem was, someone like Nikolai would never be Nikolai.

#zoyalai fic #zoya nazyalensky #nikolai lantsov #kos #kos fic #tgt #tgt fic #king of scars #zoyalai

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draggingthedregs · 4 years

Text

as i said earlier, it is an ungodly length but i hope you can enjoy my late night, book-drunk opinions anyway!

***

guess who just finished “ruin and rising”?

i’m seriously not okay. someone send help. i got lots of thoughts, none of which you are obligated to read but this seems like the best place to share.

oh and spoilers, duh.

for starters. woah.

i can’t say it was what i expected but i had known that what my heart really wanted was kinda far out of reach. the ending felt real and feasible, complete with love and loss.

in terms of “ruin and rising” alone, i think it was possibly the strongest of the three books. the pacing was good, nothing felt like it dragged on too long or went too fast for its own good. i think that was really important as well, considering the fact that there was always something going on. literally,, always. no one ever got a damn break.

mal’s “death” hurt me more then i had expected. which honestly leads back to one of my main gripes with this story. the love square (which i elaborate on later in this post, just hold on a bit). i’m not going to lie. i hated mal. through the middle of “siege and storm” up to page 168 of “ruin and rising” (and even then it was a long road from hate to crying over him). he was an ass, i think we can all admit that. for awhile there, i even jumped on the “fuck mal” train and had no plans to stop at any station anytime soon. for the longest time, the relationship with alina felt so fragile and forced, like the only reason it existed was because leigh had written it into existence. though, as i read on, i saw why it was so strained and saw the eventual resolution, which i will admit i was happy with. mal and alina, however annoying and troupe filled their personalities were, did develop as characters. and their relationship made some semblance of sense in the grand scheme of things. does that mean i forgive the “on-again-off-again”, “cold-shoulder”, “we-cant-be-together-in-this-lifetime” bullshit? no. does that mean i suddenly love mal? also, no. does that mean i ship them? ugh slightly. does that mean in a magical dream world where i got to chose what happened, they’d still end up together? impossible to say. BUT i can say, that they deserved each other. and i am happy that they got their peace together like they both always wanted (no matter how out of place it felt at any point), especially considering the fact that she literally had to kill him.

my dear dear darkling... i knew what fate awaited you and yet, when the time came... it hurt just the same.

okay,, that was a bit dramatic. but come on. leigh wrote a damn good villain with aleksander morozova. i meAN, thE lAYERS. he was a horrible person and yet, so many of us still love him. he killed for fun, manipulated no matter the cost, preyed upon the weak because he could, literally blinded his own mother and still! i can’t help but love him. there was so much human woven into his darkness. the moments of simple longing, of exhaustion, of loneliness. in all honesty, if there had been a way to humanize him, to erase or explain away his atrocities and have him just be aleksander again, i feel like i would do it. but, in the context of the story i do understand why it wasn’t possible. redemption for the darkling was off the table, no matter how much humanity still remained. but that’s what makes him such a good character. you want him to be different because you can see the good and all the potential for things to change, for them to rule ravka side by side, but at the same time, he’s the same man who is still actively creating more shadow demon creatures to eat whoever he wishes. you can’t resist him and that’s why he’s so wonderful, yet horrifying at the exact same time. (though don’t worry i am still a trash can and the darklina ship is still superior in the love square. again, i promise i will get there).

i feel like i have to talk about how much i loved the “secondary characters” (i struggle to call them that because they actually run this shit). i will say, at first, i hated zoya. i am not a big fan of the “mean girl” troupe or the “i’m-prettier-than-you-and-i-know-it” thing but... she really grew on me. i looked forward to zoyas comments and constant bitchiness, as did the characters in the books. and when she left the note and the blue kefta with alina in the epilogue,, oh god my heart. and the ragtag crew of grisha making up the remainder of the second army were amazing. their banter and dialogue were some of my favorite scenes to read in “ruin and rising” and i want books just filled with them and only them. david and genya deserve the damn world, adrik was so great, nadia and tamar are so precious, and i will miss harshaw’s weird ass more then you’ll ever know. don’t even get me started on misha and oncat. they are the true stars of this series, you cannot convince me otherwise. god i love them all so much, what a brilliant cast of characters. except the apparat. fuck the stupid ass apparat.

i know what you’re thinking. “you forgot nikolai.” no. i promise you, i most certainly did not. i just love him so much he gets his own chunk.

i mean, how could he not? he’s one of those rare, genuinely perfect characters that are impossible to not love. and i don’t mean perfect because he has no flaws or he’s written unnaturally, i mean perfect because of all of his flaws. he is arrogant and calculating, brash and unapologetic in his ways, but he’s also kind and caring, witty and charming and way too clever for his own good. i rooted for him more then i have ever rooted for someone in my entire life. he made everything ten times better. you can always count on his ass to pop up in a flying ship with a shiny pair of boots, a witty remark, a new plan, and too many ideas.

now, the important business... the ominous love square.

i think the words i used were “one of my main gripes with the story” which is true, but i think leads to a bigger issue with some of the characterization in the story. the “love square” was a term i thought of in relation to the many overlapping and confusing ships that center around alina (obviously being mal, the darkling, and nikolai). all of the ships were so entertwined and written over top of one another that there was no other way for me to describe it and the square seemed like a nice enough analogy. it just felt like way too much on everybody’s plates.

i love nikolai and alinas friendship. i mean, LOVED it. because i loved it so much, i found the little nods to a ship odd and unnecessary. their story line was very focused on the fact that ravka would need a king and queen, hence the scene where he gives her the emerald and all but proposes right then and there. however, that scene would have made scene and carried the same weight had there not been the splashes of romance both before and after. now, i understand why people ship them. and honestly, if under different circumstances, i probably could’ve and would’ve shipped them myself. they would have had one of the best marriages in a society where you didn’t get to marry for love. but it just made everything more complicated. people would’ve speculated on a ship had there been no kisses or pining, soley based on the possibility of a marriage and because of their close friendship so, why was the canon addition of it necessary? i just couldn’t get behind it when i loved their platonic relationship so much and when there were two stronger and more developed ships, waging war in the background.

now, my final bone to be picked... let’s be real for a second, alina in “shadow and bone” sucked. she was annoying and had no personality beyond being a sad, lonely, orphan in the darklings sparkly new grisha world. though i will say, in the later two books, i grew to like her. her character development did its job and i actually think she grew to be a pretty good protagonist. she did her best with the cards she was dealt and i think she did really well. however, her inability to pick a boy constantly bothered me. after being in love with her best friend for literal years, she is really ready to be be the first lady of the second army. and yes. sure you could justify it. she wasn’t getting letters in return, she’d been away for months, she was adapting to her new life, the darkling made her feel seen and wanted which is all a very new feeling to her. but then she goes right back to mal after he makes a confession that he didn’t realize he loved or needed her until she was gone for months (this was one of my biggest problems with mal. my problem only grew when he spent the entirety of “siege and storm” being a dick. but like i said,, we have reconcilied. we are fine now). there were times throughout the series where i genuinely didn’t understand why they were together, why i liked them together, or why i even wanted them to end the series together. alina even asks mal at the end of “ruin and rising” if there entire relationship was based solely on the fact that mal was the last amplifier and the fact that she even had to ask really says something. was their entire romance because of the amplifier? was it because of the “we-are-just-meant-to-be-together” thing? or was there actual chemistry? i really couldn’t tell sometimes. and the darklina ship was even more twisty and winding. he went from telling her deep dark secrets because he wanted to hear the girl he loved say his name to literally threatening everyone she loves because he wants her weak and all to himself. like,, whAt? (again,, layers) and don’t even get me started on the darkling and alina apparition interactions. those were a wild fucking ride. i felt like i was getting manipulated along with the both of them in those. but maybe that was the point of the darkling and alinas relationship. it was supposed to be so horrible yet so electric that you couldn’t pull away. but i doubt the same was meant to be said for mal and alina.

now i feel like i may be coming off in the wrong way. i loved more about this series then i didn’t. but me gushing about every fine detail and conversation that made my heart melt wouldn’t make for the most interesting read, if it was even coherent. all in all, i think it’s safe to say the grisha trilogy is great. does that mean it doesn’t have flaws? of course not. does that mean the flaws outweigh the good and the actual point of the story? absolutely not. my small complaints about a few things really do not take always from the fact that i love this series. i would love anything written by leigh bardugo, especially in the grishaverse.

if you’ve made it this far, that’s commitment. thank you brave soldier. don’t take anything i’ve said with anything more than a grain of salt. seriously. if this is your favorite series, don’t let my lil complaints ruin your day. because really, the good outweighs the bad here tenfold. i’m just a girl with a lot of opinions and a platform to share them at four am... it’s a dangerous game.

but, goodbye grisha trilogy. you have served me well and i will return to reread you soon. but for now i will do a lot of writing (i already have so many fic ideas brewing) and read all the fan fiction and tumblr posts i’ve been avoiding for fear of spoilers.

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kchuarts · 3 years

Text

Flowers in Blood

A/N: I am SO sorry for the late update. I've been in a funk and blegh. Well, 2 months later here we are and I'm updating!

Summary: Love hurts

Warnings: none really that I can think of

Taglist: @lucywrites02, @shiningloki

Chapter 19: Cyclamen

SMACK!

Abbadon hit the floor after being struck by her brother, tears in her eyes. “He was one of your men!! Why do you have to take it out on me!?”

“He was one of the finest I had!! He did not waste time and kept his promises, unlike YOU.” Daniel pointed a finger at his younger sister and grabbed her by her throat. “Travis being killed is a greater loss to me than losing you as Wolfsbane’s leader!! He was not soft nor did he hesitate to go through with murder!!” He shoved Abbadon to the ground and breathed heavily, staring at her with such malice in his gaze. Truth be told, Daniel never felt any true love for his sister and only used her as a pawn in his games. He knew that one day she would do exactly as she has done and try to escape the family business of crime. “In addition, he didn’t have a snivelling brat that I had to lock up-”

“YOU LEAVE MY SON OUT OF THIS!!” Abbadon stood to her full height, teeth bared and fists clenched. “Nikolai has nothing to do with your vile follower’s death! The only one who is at fault here, is you.” She snarled. “Maybe if you were not such a piss poor crime lord, none of your lackies would be dead!”

“So you think you are better suited for the job then, dear sister?” Daniel growled, snapping his fingers. At the sound of the snap, four of his bodyguards came in with their guns pointed at Abbadon. “If I remember correctly, you wanted no part of this. All you wanted to do was run away with that silly dream of yours. It is not my fault at all here, I did nothing wrong! It was their piss poor decision to be vulnerable.”

The honey brown eyed woman knew what Daniel was trying to do and his gaslighting tactics would not work on her. She had grown up with this form of abuse and had become a master at detecting it. “Say what you want, Daniel. You know deep down it is your fault because you cannot process it through that thick bloody skull of yours.” Abbadon pursed her lips tightly as the barrel of a gun was held beneath her head. “Do it. Kill me and see how far it gets you.” She did not fear death.

For a moment, Daniel considered blowing her head off but raised his hand for his men to stand down. A sick smirk spread across his face and he clicked his tongue, “Would you want little Nikolai to suffer? Knowing his mother chose death instead of him? Such cowardice… Perhaps I can raise a little soldier out of-”

WHACK!!

Abbadon’s fist connected to her brother’s face and almost immediately she was tackled to the ground. “I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE MY SON OUT OF THIS YOU EVIL FUCKER!!” She screamed, struggling against the men holding her down.

The leader of Belladonna wiped his now bloodied lip and chuckled to himself. “The anger of a mother never gets old. Take her away back to her cell. I no longer want to see this traitor for the time being.” He paused and then looked at Abbadon with a smile. “Oh and if she tries anything, make sure that little Nikolai learns a lesson of when his mother decides to be a bitch.”

“My, my.” Another woman’s voice enters the room. She giggles at Abbadon and motions the bodyguards to stop for a moment. Her long purple nails sink into the auburn haired woman’s jaw as she forces her to look into her black, cat like eyes. “Abbadon, you look positively dreadful. Then again, you’ve always been hideous in my eyes.” The Korean woman gave Abbadon a toothy grin before letting her go, but not before slashing her nails across her cheek. She continued to laugh as Abbadon cried out in pain from the unprovoked attack and made her way over to Daniel. “I hope that you have made yourself comfortable my dear leader.” She purred, wiping her now bloodied nails on a handkerchief before offering her hand to Daniel.

Swiftly, Belladonna’s leader took her hand and placed a chaste kiss on the back of it before releasing it. “I can assure you that I much enjoy Seoul more than I do Tokyo. Thank you, Churihyang.”

Daphne’s leader, Dea “Churihyang” Park, had become Daniel’s most favored branch due to his partial favor to Korea and Dea’s tenacity. He enjoyed having her as an ally. While she was certainly lazy in some aspects, she never failed to impress. “Excellent! My dear leader I have much to show you~ I’ve got new women that I need you to inspect.” Dea smiled wickedly, giving a chesire like expression and led Daniel into the den of The Tigress.

------------------

What felt like days had finally come to an end once Jonathan and Katie had reached a nearby city. There was no possible way they would be able to make it back to Tokyo as they hadn’t the faintest idea of where they were exactly. In the meantime, they stopped by the local clinic and had Katie assessed for any sort of damages.

“Sate, hidoku sonshō shita mono wa nani mo nai yōdesu.” A female doctor nodded, smiling at Katie. “Tadashi, seikō suru mae ni sukunakutomo 2-shūkan matsu koto o o susume shimasu. Anata wa mada kanzen ni chiyu shite imasen.” She added.

The brunette nodded and inwardly sighed at the fact she couldn’t have sex for around two whole weeks. “Arigatou. Kanarazu adobaisu sa sete itadakimasu.” She tried to hide her disappointment from the news. It wasn’t the end of the world but she wanted Pine to claim her again and make her forget that whole experience.

Jonathan looked over at the clock on the wall of the waiting room and chewed the inside of his cheek. “Could really go for a smoke right now.” He muttered under his breath.

“Ja, arigatou! Sayonara!!” Katie came out of the office and looked at Jonathan with a pout. “We have to wait two weeks.” She whined.

“Oh come on, it’s not like it’s the worst thing in the world to wait.” Pine took her hand in his own, lacing his fingers into hers and walking out of the clinic. “Right now I could use your help in finding a place to buy cigarettes.” He peered around, his hunger for nicotine needing to be sated.

Katie scoffed at him and giggled, “I can wait two weeks for sex but you can’t wait for more than a minute for those gross cigarettes of yours.”

Jonathan rolled his eyes, pulling her along in search of some smokes.

Once they had found some cigarettes, Katie and Jonathan returned to the hotel they were staying at. “Oh my god it feels so nice to wear pants again.” Katie fell back against the bed and laughed as she heard Jonathan sigh loudly at her comment.

“You’ve been saying that ever since we got new clothes. It’s getting a bit annoying.” He stared out from the balcony, cigarette between his lips.

“I know, but I’m just telling the truth.” Katie rolled over to the side Jonathan slept on and propped herself up on her elbows. She couldn’t stop herself from staring at what a nice ass her boyfriend had. In truth, he had a nice everything. The only thing she could do without was that nasty smoking habit of his. “Can I suck you off?” She asked abruptly

Jonathan inhaled quickly and began to cough violently, turning around and patting his chest. “I beg your pardon?” He got a control of his coughing and looked at her bewildered.

Katie’s cheeks turned red and she gave a coy smile, “Can I give you head? It’s not fair that you have to wait for me-”

“No.”

“No?” Katie was taken aback.

“No.” Jonathan confirmed and put the cigarette out in the ashtray, walking in and sitting in the chair next to the bed, facing her. “You don’t have to do anything to please me. Just you being alive is more than enough satisfaction for me. I want you to remember this; you don’t owe anyone anything.” His face fell into a serious expression.

Katie thought about it for a moment and realized that she was using an old habit of hers when she was with Travis. He had always told her that it wasn’t fair for him whenever she got something she wanted, and that she owed him more than her own worth. “Oh…” She sat up, biting her lip and feeling the urge to cry come on. “But Travis-”

“But Travis what, Kate!? He’s dead!!” Pine snapped at her and immediately regretted doing so as he saw her eyes glittering with tears. His face softened and he shook his head, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that- but Kate, please realize that he cannot hurt you anymore and that he is gone. You are free.” He tried to take her hand but she pulled it away.

“He is still here though!! You don’t get it!! I see him in my dreams and I hear his voice tormenting me every single fucking day! You helped quiet his voice for a while but his voice… It’s so loud.” She grabbed her head, covering her ears.

Jonathan sat there and inhaled deeply, running a hand through his hair. “Katie I think we need a break.” He let the words fly out of his mouth without abandon.

“What?” She looked up, her eyes wide.”

Pine growled out of frustration and stood up. “You just can't let him go! You’ve been so hyperfocused on him this entire time and while I believe you love me, you still have an unhealthy attachment to a dead man. You’re acting like a child- because you are one!! I should have never-”

“Never what?! Don’t fucking finish that sentence!! Don’t you dare!!” Katie sobbed, her mind racing a mile a minute. He was breaking up with her when she needed him most. “You know what? Nevermind.” She got up quickly, her lip quivering. “If you really think that low of me, then why did you decide to want something with me? You’re still playing games, Jonathan Pine. I-I’m done. My heart cannot take anymore of this shit.” Her voice cracked a little and she stormed out, exiting the hotel. Tears ran down her face as she made her way over to the Shinkansen and took the first train back to Tokyo.

Jonathan didn’t even try to chase after her this time and just sat there, staring at the ground. He ran his hands over his face and began to cry in broken sobs. Not only was he angry at Katie for her sudden actions and potentially putting herself in danger, but he was angry at himself. She needed him and he fucked up bad. He could only hope that she would return to the rental, pack her things, and fly back to the USA. That’s what he originally wanted after all, he didn’t truly love her did he? Who was he to talk when Sophie’s death also plagued his mind, each day and night.

By the time Jonathan had gotten back to the rental, all of Katie’s things were gone. It hurt his heart to have the place so empty. Sure, they had a hell of a time and not exactly pleasant but he missed the sound of Katie’s voice. “It’s for the best.” He sighed, running his hands through his hair and sitting down in a chair, thinking what to do next.

“Is it?”

Pine got up quickly, pulling out his gun that he now carried on him. “Roper! I know you’re here!” He growled, looking around the house and finding Richard making himself at home in the kitchen.

“Tea?” Roper held up the kettle but put it down as he heard Jonathan load the gun, making it ready to go. “Alright, don’t then.” He muttered and pulled a gun of his own out. “You know it’s ironic that here we are in Japan where guns are heavily restricted-”

“ENOUGH!! Why are you here!?” Jonathan’s hands started to become clammy.

Roper looked around, raising his eyebrows “Your little vixen is gone is she? Oh dear, hopefully she’s somewhere safe. Masayuki is dead so you don’t have to worry about him… Also, nice job killing Travis-”

The look in Jonathan’s eyes was one of intent and he wasn’t about to play around anymore.

“Fine, fine. No small talk either. I just thought I would stop by since I was in the neighborhood. Check in on my old friend Andrew Birch.” He gave a toothy smile, now walking in a circle as Pine still held his gun up. Roper was not one to back down either as his gun was also aimed at the other man. “I’m here to tell you that you’re not done. If you haven’t figured it out already, we both have a common enemy; Daniel.”

“What’s he to you? I thought all of you crime lords were the same, don’t you have some sort of alliance going on?” Jonathan felt a bead of sweat roll down his face as he concentrated, watching Roper carefully for any sudden moves.

“All that time under my wing and you didn’t bother to learn that we don’t form alliances? Pish Posh, Andy! I expected better from you. Even Corky knew better and he was inebriated half of the fucking time!” Roper’s smile faded and he raised his gun a little higher, still walking a circle of questionable predicaments. “No. He is nothing more than a nuisance in the scheme. His work is so sloppy and I can tell he’s stopped with being all fancy and putting flowers on the crime scenes. He messes everything up and someone has to put an end to the short-tempered bastard.” Roper shrugged.

“Then why come here? Why come to me, knowing that I want nothing more than to put a bullet in your skull?” Jonathan hissed, narrowing his eyes.

“I’m here to tell you that the Japanese police force is after Todd Redwood and Kit Redwood. They are warranted for arrest and will be sentenced accordingly for all the crimes they committed. I know I said I wouldn’t help you anymore, but this little game is just too fun! If I were you, Andrew Birch, Jonathan Pine, Jack Lindon, Thomas Quince, Todd Redwood… I’d run.”

Jonathan swallowed hard, “How long until they reach us?”

“Twenty minutes. Pack your bags and I’ll get you out of here and on the way to Seoul. I know that Miss O’Connor is already there and by herself. If you still have any care for her in the world, I suggest you hurry. The Tigress has a fondness for women with green eyes.” Roper watched as Jonathan made a run for it to grab his belongings.

It only took five minutes for Pine to grab his things and hop into Richard’s car, speeding off toward the airport. Thankfully, Richard owned his own private transportation so Pine wouldn’t have to worry about being caught… Until he did.

Richard whipped his head around, hearing police sirens blaring as he drove like a maniac. “We’ve got company!! Do me a favor and blow some tires.” He focused on the road. Several more police cars came into view, speeding toward them.

Pine nodded, pressing the window button and leaning out of the car. He aimed his gun at the wheels and shot at them. Jonathan sincerely hoped that he wouldn’t hurt anyone or cause a giant mess. Unfortunately, one of the police cars flipped over, causing two more to crash into it at full speed. Jonathan felt sick and hurled out of the window at the fact he had killed innocent officers just trying to do their job.

“A pig is a pig! Get over it!” Roper rolled his eyes.

“Th-Those were innocent men!! They have families!! I-I killed them-” Jonathan felt sick again and threw up a second time out of the window.

Richard groaned loudly, hitting the gas and finally out running the officers to cease Pine’s antics. “Come off it. You’ve killed a man or two plenty of times before and now you’re getting upset over it? You’ve grown soft!” He slaps Pine’s back, making sure he didn’t have anything left in his stomach to vomit.

Jonathan coughs and rests his head against the headrest of his seat, closing his eyes. When he closed them, all he saw was Katie. It had only been a day since he last saw her but it was killing him.

“So, we’ve got around five hours at the rate I’m driving. Why don’t you tell me what happened between you and your little lass.” Richard prodded.

“No.” Jonathan growled.

“Suit yourself. I completely understand the lack of trust and I would do the same exact thing.”

True to his word, Roper and Pine reached the airport in five hours. Jonathan stepped out of the car and stumbled a bit. He shot Roper a glare when he heard him snort in amusement.

“Not even a thank you? After all I’ve done-” Richard began to speak.

“You haven’t done me any favors yet. Until you’re six feet under ground, then you will have done me a favor.” Jonathan huffed, opening up the trunk and pulling his belongings out. He quickly made his way to the plane and didn’t even look back. All he wanted was for Katie to be safe, he understood why she was mad at him. He could only hope that she understood his frustrations in turn.

Once Jonathan had boarded the plane, Roper pulled his phone out and got into his car. “He’s on his way now. I don’t know where lassie is over your neck of the woods, but she shouldn’t be too hard to find. Remember, don’t grab him until you have her.”

Katie paced back and forth, biting her nails as she began to panic. She had gotten herself into a big mess trying to do this on her own. First of all, she didn’t even know where to start or who to ask. All she knew was that Daphne needed to be taken down and arrested, not killed. She was so tired of all the death around her, all the frustration. Travis’s death seemed to impact her more than she thought as the moment of him falling replayed over and over. “Cam…” She broke down into tears, falling to her knees and holding her face in her hands. “Cameron I wish you were here!! I don’t know what to do anymore!!” She continued to sob, curling into a fetal position. “I’m so lost and, and Travis is dead and Jonathan hates me-” She stopped for a moment, her mood suddenly turning angry. “That stupid son of a bitch!!” She stood up, punching the hotel pillow over and over. “I hate you!! I hate you! I hate you, Pine!! You fucking asshole!!” her sobs became more intense as she then grabbed the pillow and hugged it. Katie unleashed a heart wrenching scream into the pillow so as to not draw any attention to her room. That was the last thing she needed.

The brunette gasped as she came up for air but let out another ugly sob. “I still love you!! I still love you Jonathan!” She couldn’t deny herself. Katie knew it wouldn’t take a day for her to get over Travis and that it would take time, but she needed Pine’s love and help. “I’m so stupid!! I’m so fucking stupid!!” She buried her face back into her pillow and screamed again.

Katie sobbed for around three hours until she could cry no more, eventually passing out for the evening. Her last conscious thoughts were of being in Jonathan’s arms, where she felt the safest.

The door to Katie’s room clicked open, yet it did not wake her up. Jonathan walked in, sighing and knowing that this was a horrible idea. He saw Katie laying on the bed, tightly clutching a pillow with tear stains on her cheeks. Carefully, he moved her into a more comfortable position and pulled the blankets over her. When he walked in, Pine noticed a couch and decided he would take up that for the night. He figured that she wouldn’t even want to be near him at all since their fight yesterday. Jonathan made himself as comfortable as he could on the couch and found some difficulty trying to fall asleep. He hoped that he would wake up before her as he finally fell asleep. Pine did not know what would happen if she woke first.

#flowers in blood #spies in love #the night manager #the night manager canon divergence #jonathan pine #jonathan pine x ofc #tom hiddleston #my writing #fanfic #writing

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caddy-whump-us · 4 years

Text

I need to whump Nikolai more. I love him and therefore want to whump him. But he’s a little harder to write than Etienne because he’s not as rebellious and difficult. Etienne’s just like “Come at me, bro!” and gets whumped for it whereas Nikolai reasons that being a little more agreeable means a little less pain. So while he hates his situation, he’s not about to cause himself more trouble. Now the aftermath of his captivity… But I digress.

As requested here’s some angst with a soft fluffy middle.

(Honestly, I think the saddest thing here is realizing how puckish Nikolai used to be and how cowed and fragile and subservient he is now.)

---

There were voices coming from the room when Nikolai approached it. A postulant had brought him a message from Adrastos as soon as evening began to come on. And so, Nikolai had answered it.

The doors were shut. Nikolai slipped up to the door and pressed his ear against it. His master was almost certain to hear him (there were times when he felt sure his master could hear his heartbeat wherever he was in the house), but he still listened for a moment before he opened the door.

There was a stranger in the room.

“Is the young man your son?” the stranger said.

“My ward. He came to me because he needed a firmer hand, given his age.”

“I see.”

“The house where he was raised--well, he was left to run a little wild,” Adrastos said. There was the sound of paper tearing; he was reading his letters. “I try to endure it, but he pushes me beyond my limits sometimes.”

Nikolai stood still, holding the doorknob. Do I?

There was the sound of metal against metal--not weapons, but more like tools, instruments, something small. Medical instruments--and the phrase floated up in Nikolai’s mind and his stomach tightened.

“Sir, excuse my saying so, but I would have preferred to have come somewhat earlier in the day--” the stranger was saying until Adrastos interrupted.

“Yes, but with my obligations, there was no other choice.”

There was a breath of silence. Then:

“Yes, sir. Of course, sir.”

“And you needn’t worry about the trouble of coming all this way. I’ll be certain to--”

Nikolai opened the door and stepped into the room, quiet, humble, head held low.

“--ah, there he is,” Adrastos said.

Nikolai bowed--first to his master, then to the stranger--and shook his hair out of his eyes as he stood up.

“He doesn’t seem as wild as I expected,” the stranger said, smiling. He wore a white smock and shiny buttoned boots. “Well, come here and sit down.” And he patted a stool set up in front of a dresser and mirrors.

Nikolai looked towards Adrastos, who waved him on and went back to reading his letter. Nikolai sat down and set his feet up on the rungs of the stool.

The room reflected in the triple mirrors was new, unfamiliar, more a dressing room than anything, and better suited for a lady, all soft colors and high windows and mirrors. This was a lady’s vanity, not a commonplace dresser. And certainly, up to now, the room and the furniture were unused (but that was nigh-undetectable: the whole room was cleaned and newly done too; there was still a faint smell of lemon and vinegar in the air). Though there was a sheet laid out on the floor under the stool.

Nikolai raked his hair back again after looking down at the sheet and tried to look anywhere but at the mirror.

“There, that,” Adrastos said, pointing at him with the corner of the letter; he caught Nikolai with his hand still in the air. “It’s unbecoming. He looks like an urchin or a farmboy when he does that.”

Nikolai dropped his gaze and brought his hand down again, resting his knuckles against his mouth. He saw now that there was a cloth or a towel on the dresser with shears and combs and scissors and a razor laid out on it and he closed his eyes.

“We’ve been invited to the home of one of my relations and I just can’t take him when he looks like a street urchin.”

The barber scruffed Nikolai’s hair. “Well, I’ll tidy him up for you,” he said and took up the scissors.

“Better you do it than I do it,” Adrastos said, looking at the letter in his hand.

The barber draped a towel around Nikolai’s shoulders and Nikolai looked down at his feet in their thin leather slipper-shoes and waited.

He’d never bothered with his hair particularly. He’d have it cut, then let it grow as it pleased (he kept it off his shirt collar at least), until his uncle scolded him for it. And Nikolai would roll his eyes, have it cut again, and then let it grow until his uncle scolded him again. It was as regular as any farming season: harvest, growth, harvest again. Though perhaps it was more like keeping sheep.

And perhaps he had been a little wild, running around in the woods and fields as he had. His aunt and uncle ignored him as often as not until they were appalled with him over something. Then he’d be punished until they tired of punishing him and he’d be overlooked again and he’d go back out to the woods and fields--which was how he had met Jonathan anyway.

Jonathan had liked his hair, though Nikolai disagreed: Jonathan was the one with the coppery-bronze hair that shimmered in the sunlight and Nikolai said his own hair was just black. Although when Jonathan had called him “funny little blackbird,” perhaps he’d not minded it quite so much.

That had been that autumn, before they gave each other their rings in the summer after.

Later in that same autumn, he’d set off of an afternoon to Jonathan’s house, down through the woods rather than by the lanes and roads--hardly a distance, only a few miles, though longer by the lanes.

He still walked the distance going the long way around, looking for rabbit snares along the way, snapping a fox trap shut with a rotten branch like a gamekeeper (the sight of a fox in a trap still rose up in his nightmares). The fields were mown and barren for the moment, all the late-summer work done. The smoke from the cottagers’ fires was blue against the trees until it turned gray against the sky. Someone was shooting in the distance--grouse, geese. He tramped through the leaves, turning them over and smelling mixed mold and spice.

Jonathan’s house (his family’s house, really) flashed gray and grand through the trees as the woods gave on to the parkland around the house. The grass wasn’t quite brown with frost on the rise up to the house, but stones of the house looked cold and the ivy along the back arbors was red from the frost.

Nikolai tripped up the hill on the grass rather than the path and slipped around to the back of the house, jumped the stone wall and trotted up the steps to the windows that looked onto the gardens. He passed them, low, crouched, but peering up into each one to see who, if anyone, was there. And, at last, in the library windows, he saw Jonathan. Propped up against the sill and balanced on the tips of his toes, he tapped at the window.

Jonathan started at seeing him there; Nikolai waved at him through the glass, grinning. Jonathan draped his book over the arm of his chair and came to push open the window. Nikolai set his elbows on the sill and pulled himself up a little closer.

“Let me in.”

Jonathan looked around the garden: empty, quiet. Gardeners weren’t needed for fading flowers. He took hold of Nikolai’s arms and Nikolai scrambled into the room.

He hopped from the windowsill and into Jonathan’s arms and they stood there together for a moment.

Jonathan kissed him at his temple, then leaned back in close again. Smoke, cold, the spice of leaves. “I can smell the autumn in your hair.”

Nikolai caught his hand and held it; his fingers were cold and Jonathan’s hand was warm. “Come out with me. It’s chill, but it’s wonderful.”

“My mother has company.”

Nikolai looked around the room, then back at Jonathan. “You’re not with them now. Take your coat. Come out with me.”

Jonathan looked aside for a moment, then down into Nikolai’s eyes (bright, sparkling from the cold air). He sighed and smiled. “All right. Wait for me outside.”

He helped Nikolai back out the window again, looked over his shoulder for a moment, and closed the window again.

Nikolai leaned against the wall of the house--which was warmer than he had expected but then the sun had been beating on it all afternoon. He pulled his cap a little lower over his eyes, leaned against the wall, and waited.

Jonathan came back to the window, now wrapped up in a jacket and scarf and cap, and clambered down. He pushed the window as shut as he could from the outside.

“It’s hardly fair that you’re tall enough to climb in and out without help,” Nikolai said.

Jonathan pulled up the brim of Nikolai’s cap. “You have your ways of getting out and I have mine.”

Nikolai grinned again and took Jonathan’s hand in both of his. “Come to the woods with me. I don’t have anything to talk about. But come walk with me. There might be stags or a fox.”

They hurried down the hill and into the woods again, Nikolai sliding a few steps ahead of Jonathan. The house at their backs, they passed through the orderly parkland near the house and into the real woods.

It was all well and good to carry on a romance with whomever one chose when one was young. But here, they were both going to university in a year--less than a year now. And that was quite old enough to have outgrown those freewheeling affairs. So it was only when they were in the woods, shuffling and crunching across the dead leaves, in between fading ferns, that they took one another’s hand and walked together.

A hawk passed over, calling, and Nikolai pointed--

“Sir? How does this suit you?”

Adrastos answered, “Perhaps a bit…” He trailed off. He must have gestured.

Nikolai opened his eyes to see clots of his hair scattered on the sheet under the stool. The barber tipped his chin up with a comb and Nikolai closed his eyes before he could see himself in the mirrors.

--Evening came on fast in those cold days. They had toyed with the idea of starting a small fire, perhaps on the stones on the banks of the stream, but instead kept walking.

They stopped at the top of a ridge and sat down under an oak. It kept its dead leaves for the winter and would lose them only in early spring and the dead leaves rattled. A crow called and another answered. They leaned against each other and held to each other’s hand.

As evening came on, the light poured down from behind them and down into the hollow below them and fell golden on the next rise across the hollow. The trees cast shadows on each other, but the leaves below them were all caught in that gold light.

Their shadows stretched out before them and down into the hollow and across to the other rise. Nikolai stood up and stretched his arms over his head, watching his shadow. It disappeared in the dark of the hollow, but stretched up the rise.

“I might be able to climb in that window if I were as tall as this.”

“You might be able to climb in my bedroom window if you were as tall as that.”

“And I would too, you know,” Nikolai said, turning to him. “I couldn’t stand up in your room, but I’d still come to your window. Every night.”

“And every morning?”

“Oh, yes, of course.” He sat down again. “And every afternoon.”

They looked across the hollow at the golden, liquid light. Nikolai turned to Jonathan and Jonathan leaned in to kiss him, once, softly. The tip of his nose was cold, but his lips were warm.

Nikolai put his hands around Jonathan’s face and kissed him in return. And one kiss led to two, to three, to four.

Jonathan tucked a lock of Nikolai’s hair behind his ear. “We should go back before it’s fully dark.”

--There was something cold on the back of Nikolai’s neck--no, that hadn’t happened that afternoon. That was the razor, that was the razor scraping on the back of his neck--

“I know. But just a moment more. It’s not dark yet.” And he smiled, crooked and sly.

The golden light rose up the trunks of the trees, turning from gold to rose. And only when it had slipped from the tops of the trees did they stand up and turn back towards the house--

“Oh yes, that’s far preferable,” Adrastos said. “He actually looks civilized and respectable now.”

Nikolai still kept his head low, hiding from the mirrors. The barber was shaking the towel out and brushing Nikolai’s shoulders off.

“See the footman at the door on your way out,” Adrastos went on. “He should have something for you.”

“Thank you, sir.” The barber collected his tools and rolled them into a leather kit. At the door he turned back and gave a fussy bow before leaving.

The door shut. Adrastos came over and set his hands on Nikolai’s shoulders. “Look at yourself,” he said.

Nikolai kept his eyes turned down. Clumps and strands of his hair were scattered on the sheet. Some postulant would collect it and shake it out a window, perhaps.

And then, perhaps, birds would find it and make nest of it.

And, perhaps, Jonathan would find one and know where Nikolai was and find him--but that was fantastical nonsense.

“Look at yourself,” he said again, an order, a command.

Nikolai looked up to find himself reflected around the three mirrors. At least he’d not cried. Where his hair had once fallen as it pleased on either side of his face and down between his eyes, now it was cropped short around his ears (mercifully not scraped bald) with a rough forelock hanging over just to his eyebrows. He tugged at it, then touched the back of his neck: that was shorn.

(Jonathan’s hands in his hair. “Funny little blackbird.”)

“I like you looking the way I choose. That is how it should be, don’t you think?”

#whump #vampires #traumatic haircut #fluffy angst #angsty fluff #Nikolai #jonathan #adrastos #control #dehumanization #memories #nostalgia

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dregstrash · 5 years

Text

Hey I am back very briefly to post this very random thing. It’s basically a secret dating/high school!Zoyalai au. Where Zoyalai is one of the rebellious kids that skip classes and don’t give a shit. And Nikolai is the Golden Class President that everyone loves. It’s random. I’m inspired. Thank you for reading.

One time Zoya was able to fully outrun two police cars that were chasing her and Genya when they had been caught tagging the side of the school building. Another time she had successfully lifted enough Pop Tarts for her and Aunt Lilyana to live off for the next month-- granted her aunt made her go back to the store and pay for them, but still it was the principle of the thing. She taught herself how to hot wire cars, sneak off of campus with knowing being the wiser, and even gave Genya the piercings she proudly wears on her ears. There were a lot of things that she was proud of in her seventeen years of life.

Making out with Nikolai Lantsov under the bleachers of their school’s stadium was not one of her finer moments, but damn did it feel good.

She supposed that if it had been the first time, she would have shoved him away and given him the smirk that he was so fond of and just walked away. But they were long past the first time-- and she was long past caring whether or not her notorious reputation was at stake. Especially when his mouth was so damn soft against hers and his tongue was tangled with hers in a way that almost made her completely melt into him.

One of his hands had crept under her leather jacket and she could feel the heat of his hand through the thin material of her ripped blouse. The other was wound through the back of her head, cradling it like it was the most precious thing on this earth.

Her arms were wrapped around his neck, holding him like her life depended on it, and it wasn’t until she felt the hard metal support beam of the stadium that she gasped back to catch her breath.

He pressed his forehead onto hers and held her even tighter.

“Have you been practicing on someone else, Zo? Cause I swear to all the saints you’re getting better.” His eyes were still closed when he spoke. His hair was out of its usual neat style, and was almost standing on its end from where she was running her fingers through it. His mouth was stained red from her lipstick, and she could see the traces of it across his jaw where she had spent some time when he had first appeared to their usual meeting place. Despite the teasing in his voice, he looked positively wrecked, and it only made her want to start kissing him again.

Zoya snorted weakly, “It’s you who needs the practice, Lantsov. You were getting sloppy there for a second.”

The huff of his indignation fanned across her face, and Zoya licked her kiss swollen lips.

“I’m never sloppy, Nazyalensky. Or do you need more proof?” He opened his eyes and the hazel of them almost knocked what little breath she had out of her chest.

“I don’t think you’d really be able to prove anything. We know I’m the better kisser.”

A spark of a challenge flickered across his face, but before he could say (or do) anything the sound of heavy footsteps had them breaking apart quickly.

“I told you I saw Zo sneak over here!”

Zoya internally cursed as she recognized the voice.

“Damn it. It’s Genya. You have to go!” She whispered to Nikolai, who was busy trying to fix his hair and uselessly trying to wipe away the residue of her lipstick off his face.

She could hear Genya and another pair of footsteps come closer, and she started to feel panic race through her.

“Can I at least text you later?” Nikolai whispered as he picked his jacket off the ground.

“Don’t.” Zoya said firmly. “I’m probably going to have to lie through my teeth to reason out of this. I don’t want to be lying to them later either.”

Nikolai grumbled something under his breath that sounded awfully like, “you don’t have to lie to them at all.” But she chose to ignore it.

Zoya’s world was leagues away from Nikolai’s. She lived on the east side of town, where kids had to scrap by to have a decent meal. He lived behind metal gates and had enough to share food with the entire school. If her friends knew that she was dating him, they’d tear him apart. And if his crowd knew who exactly has been stealing him away in the middle of most school nights...well she can only imagine what they’d say-- Not that she’d care what anyone thought, but Nikolai did. Nikolai who took so much pride in being the best school president they’ve ever had. He’d lose that golden boy status quicker than he could think if he decided to go public with whatever they were.

It was better if they kept their....extracurricular activities....secret. It was better for everyone.

Genya was getting closer, and to Zoya’s dismay Nikolai was still standing there.

“Nikolai! Go!” She whisper yelled.

Nikolai glared at her for one more second before pulling her in for one last kiss and then dashing away as silently as he could.

Zoya had barely recovered from the loss of his lips on hers before Genya rounded the corner with Nadia in tow.

“There you are!” She exclaimed. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

Zoya rolled her eyes, and ran her hand through her hair in what she hoped looked like a careless gesture.

“Why in the hell would you be looking for me?”

“I think the better question is why you were down here in the first place.” Nadia brought up leaning against a support beam directly in front of Zoya.

Zoya shrugged, “I was bored. One of the soccer guys was available. Figured I killed some time before my bus came.”

Genya’s eyes lit up with mischief, “Ooh good kisser?”

You have no idea, She thought. But she snorted, “Hardly. He tried to go a little further and that was the end of that. Now, back to my question. Any reason you had the search party after me?”

Nadia pushed off from her position and went to stand by Genya, “Aleksander’s back. He wants to see everyone at the Little Palace tonight.”

This time Zoya couldn’t hide the tension in her shoulders. Aleksander was back. He was back and was already trying to regain back whatever authority he had lost when he got expelled last year.

“I’m busy tonight. Just fill me in later.” Zoya said she pushed past her two friends.

“You’re gonna want to come tonight, Zo.” Genya brought up. She stopped walking, but didn’t turn around. Her stomach was flipping in a way that could only mean trouble.

“Aleks said that he wanted to change things for us on the east side. And I think it might have to do with the Lantsovs.”

#zoya nazyalensky #nikolai lanstov #zoyalai #nikolai x zoya #king of scars #kos #Genya Safin #Grishaverse #hey i finally wrote a thing #does this remind me of riverdale?#maybe #this was really fun to write

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whippedkoalas · 5 years

Note

Hi! I just wanted to ask whether you plan to write a fic for William’s birthday? It would be so lovely!

Hey! thank you so much for your ask.

Actually, I did! It’s not quite as happy as I wanted but well. I hope I haven’t made too much mistakes and that I managed to get the age right, lol.

Happy Birthday, William!

January, 10th 1997, 21:13

Marit Magnusson gives birth to her second son alone in a private clinic of Oslo. Her husband should have been there and she tried to wait for him, hoping he would support her. She has given birth before and she didn’t think she would do it again anytime soon. But David didn’t care about Nikolai, and he wanted to have his own son and she desperately wanted David to stay. She thought he would care.

The nurses have this look on their faces, they feel sorry for her.

William is born at 21:13. He’s tiny and when she puts him on her chest, William makes a sound that makes her smile. She’s tired, sad and disappointed but William is here now and maybe things will change. David will focus on William, now.

William will probably walk on his father steps and be a smart, beautiful and charismatic businessman.

She doesn’t feel like a mom yet, but her heart is full of love for this tiny human.

January 10th, 2000.

William is three years old, Amalie two. William doesn’t fully grasp what a birthday is, he is just happy to have gifts.

When he opens it, it’s a car. He’s ecstatic and can’t wait to play with it. He also gets lollipops. He knows Amalie loves the strawberry ones so he shares with her.

When he looks up, he realizes that his dad left the room and his mom is on the phone. Only Anja, his nanny is looking at him and opens her arms. She kisses him and tells him a happy birthday. He stays in her embrace for a while, leaving his car just for a few seconds on the floor. Just enough time for Nikolai to destroy the car.

January 10th, 2003

William is six years old. He thinks he’s a grown up now. Six years is old. At school, his teacher has a birthday cake ready for him. His friends sing for him and give him little presents. He’s very happy.

Amalie is five. She is the first to tell him happy birthday because they’re sharing a room. Amalie doesn’t want to sleep in her room, because she says Nikolai loves to scare her during the night when she’s asleep.

His nanny has also prepared something for his birthday and he even gets a kiss and a little moment alone with his mom. She reads him a story and tells him he will always be her baby boy, and right at this moment, he believes her.

January 10th, 2007.

William is ten years old. It’s his first birthday without Amalie. He tries to forget what day it is. But he can’t. Even if everyone seems to have forgotten.

Nobody wishes him a happy birthday, and he pretends not to care. He’s a strong boy, as his father always says. Men don’t cry is his father motto. But when he goes to bed and Amalie isn’t there anymore to take all the space in the bed, he just can’t do it anymore and cries himself to sleep.

January, 10th 2009.

William is 12 years old and he’s alone in the apartment. He doesn’t know where Niko is, and he doesn’t care. Niko had another tantrum a few days ago and he begged his mom to do something, but she had already finished her second bottle of the day and William isn’t even sure she heard him.

But his mom and Niko disappeared the next day and he has no desire to know where they went.

His father calls him. William wants to tell him about his life, the movie he saw the other day, his school project about London as he chose to talk about London because of him but his dad doesn’t have time. He promises that William will come to London soon, that he will be coming here when his father finds a great school for his smart son.

William believes him.

January 10th, 2012.

William is fifteen years old. He wakes up in the apartment and goes to the kitchen. Niko made a mess as always. He’s too tired to fight him again.

He wants to throw Niko out. He even called their mom and told her that Niko was out of control again but she said that it wasn’t her problem. Whose problem it is, then?

William looks in his school bag to read his English paper again. He has to hand it to the teacher in class today. The paper isn’t there anymore. William is 100% sure he put it in his bag when he finished. There’s only an option left. He foolishly told Niko he was proud of him for that homework.

Niko. He is going to kill him.

He wants to barge in his room and wake him up just to kill him but someone is knocking on his door.

It’s Chris.

Chris calms him down. He knows about Niko. They met in class and Chris is great. He doesn’t ask questions, he just knows. Niko tried to be friends with Chris, telling him secrets that weren’t true about William, but Chris didn’t even listen to him.

William finds his draft in his room and writes it again quickly, with Chris’ help.

Chris invites him at home, where his mom is waiting for him with a birthday cake and a present. She kisses him and gives him a hug. She refuses that William goes back to the apartment after dinner. When the boys are going to bed, she hugs him a bit longer and whispers to him “you know you can stay as long as you want right?”

She knows too.

January 10th, 2015.

William is eighteen years old. Finally, he’s an adult now.

His dad calls, but he’s busy. He tells him that as soon as he graduates he can come live with him in London as planned.

He doesn’t want to believe him just yet, because his dad promised him that he would stay in London with him when William was 9. Almost ten years later and his father hasn’t fulfilled his promise yet.

He spends the day with his friends and it’s a simple but great birthday. One of the best so far.

January 10th, 2017.

William is 20 years old and wakes up with a headache. As always. He looks around him and his room is a mess.

He wakes up alone, thankfully but he has a weird feeling, something that he can’t explain. He realizes that he dreamt of Noora, for the first time in a really long time. Usually, he dreams of Amalie.

He doesn’t know if Noora is thinking about him. Maybe she will send him a birthday text?

He realizes that he has spent ten birthdays without his sister and suddenly it’s just too much for him.

For the first time in ten years, he cries himself to sleep.

January 10th, 2019

The first sound William hears when he wakes up is Noora wishing him a happy birthday. She snuggles against him, a smile on her face.

They probably should leave their bed but neither of them seems very keen on this idea.

Noora kisses his cheek and turns over. She takes a plate and puts it on their lap.

So she did leave the bed.

“surprise. Breakfast in bed. I guessed we will hide there all day. Does that sound right?”

William doesn’t hesitate and says yes.

She prepared a quite healthy breakfast because she is trying to introduce him to healthy life since they moved into their new apartment just a few weeks ago.

But she also brought waffles and pancakes because she knows he loves that.

William eats in silence.

“best birthday ever!” he says, still eating a pancake.

Noora laughs.

“thanks but surely not.”

“well last year was great, that’s true but I mean it”

Noora sits up a bit.

“How was it when you were a kid?” she says tentatively. She doesn’t want to kill the mood.

“mostly lonely. Spending my day waiting for my dad to call, hoping my mom wouldn’t drink too much,” he replies, not meeting Noora’s gaze.

“no birthday parties?” she asks.

“when I met Chris and the boys, yes. Chris tried to organize something every year. His mom baked cakes and had always a gift for me. But I was already a teenager.” he explains.

Noora nods.

“that’s lovely of her. Your mom never did that?”

“real birthday parties? No. We used to celebrate together but when Amalie died she said there was no reason left to celebrate. So she acted like it was a day like the others.”

“that's…. Ugh. So insensitive of her.”

“I told you she was a cunt. You called me out.” he points out, jokingly.

Noora smiles and kisses him.

“What do you want to do today? We could do something fun or maybe ask your boys if they want to have dinner? The party is on Saturday but that doesn’t mean we can’t make your birthday a special day”

William shakes his head.

“I want to spend the day with you. Chilling at home is more than fine” he replies pointing to the window. The weather isn’t that nice today.

“that’s a bit boring? If your birthdays as a child weren’t that great, we should step up our game now.”

“my birthday is fantastic already as it is. I mean it. Noora, I don’t think you realize that waking up next to somebody who loves me is already a huge upgrade for me. I don’t think you realize how you changed my life. I don’t think I have woken up on the 10th of January to someone wishing me a happy birthday for a real long time. See? My life wasn’t that bad overall but you showed me how it is to be loved and I will forever be grateful for that. Spending time with you is how I want to spend my birthday. I mean it.”

Noora is touched by his words. William is not someone who speaks a lot. The last time he said something like this was when they got back together so this is not something new to her but it’s always good to be reminded that she’s his home.

“William, it’s your birthday, shouldn’t I be the one to confess my endless love for you?” she says with a smirk.

“endless love?”

“endless love. You know it don’t you? You are never getting rid of me. Never. That’s our fate.”

“do you think fate has something to do with this?”

“yes, I do.”

William smiles at her.

“do you want to have a philosophical talk about fate on your birthday?” she asks, raising her eyebrow.

“what else could we discuss? Do you have a better topic? History? Galaxies? What car are we buying?” he laughs.

Noora sighs.

“we were having a romantic moment, William.”

William kisses her cheek.

“you’re sexy when you’re pouting.”

“that was the plan. Could you get the hint?”

William laughs. “I’m so in love with you, oh my god.”

He kisses her, with a hand on her cheek.

Noora breaks the kiss.

“that’s convenient because I am deeply, madly and truly in love with you”

“do you want to add the song to our playlist?”

Noora rolls her eyes and shuts him up with a kiss.

#noorhelm #drabble

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savinscripts · 5 years

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❝ Paradise was always over there, a day’s sail away. But it’s a funny thing, escapism. You can go far and wide and you can keep moving on and on through places and years, but you never escape your own life. ❞

And just as he’d told her he would, Fane had sorted everything from transport and their final destination (carefully selected to meet their criteria). They’d flown out of London Gatwick, having called in a favour with a friend of a friend meant wait-times in the lobby were cut and it was just a matter of handing the car over to the valet and then walking to the private check in which led straight to the plane outside. Fane had already donned a set of shades and wore a pleasantly satisfied grin on his lips having kept rather tight-lipped about where it was they were set to go. Walking towards the small private jet that waited on the runway Fane gestured for Faye to go ahead the attendants busy loading their bags in the meantime. Faye didn’t know where they were headed, and he was absolutely ecstatic to whisk her away for the trip of a lifetime.

The flight was generally uneventful, Fane alternating between watching TV, fiddling with his phone or lightly needling Faye about where she thought they might be going. Several hours later, landing and getting a lift to the harbour they ultimately ended up on a speed-boat that motored across the ocean’s surface cresting waves with the occasional bob. At the announcement of their driver Fane lifted his eyes from where he’d been otherwise lounging enjoying the sea air on his face to the large isolated island that their boat was fast approaching, moving over to stop behind Faye he rubbed her shoulders ducking down to kiss the side of her head “well-- here we are love. A month entirely to ourselves… You excited?”

The next morning, Faye and Fane had taken the evidence (after making several copies of the documents for safekeeping, just in case) back to the Ministry and handed it over to the appropriate people. After an hour or two of paperwork, writing up what had happened - including a slight fudging of the details in regards to one large, cock-less Russian, who was apparently nowhere to be found - and one more hour being debriefed, Faye turned in her immediate request for time off. She had months and months of unused vacation time, having rarely taken off in the last decade. That, plus the evidence that could be a vital break in this ongoing - and financially draining - case that had been leading nowhere for months, gave Faye’s boss every reason to sign off on her request almost immediately.

“It’ll take at least two weeks to get these wands properly processed,” he had told them after handing Faye her signed leave papers. “Then after that, we’ll have to follow-up. Will we be able to contact you?”

“Emergencies only,” Faye said. “Otherwise I won’t answer. I’m tired, sir. We’re tired.” Faye glanced at Fane.

Her boss could only nod. “Emergencies only. Have a good rest, Faye. Mr. Savin. And good work. When you get back, we just might be ready to make a move.” He’d shook both their hands, and that was that.

Faye, for her part, kept her word. She let Fane plan everything, other than securing Maya’s help to feed Scratch and check in on him. Cato could take care of himself, as long as there was an open window for him to fly through. Faye had even let Fane take her shopping for appropriate attire, since most of her clothes were made for work or cooler weather. Certainly not anywhere tropical. The plane ride had been a new experience for Faye, but an exciting one since she loved to fly. She spent a good bit of the trip watching the clouds pass by out the window, or dozing while watching tv with Fane. It took awhile for her to truly start to relax, to unwind and realize that they had a good long while before they had to be responsible for anything again.

By the time they were on the boat, Faye felt the realization starting to sink in. That they wouldn’t be going home in a few days. Or even a week. This beautiful place, warm sun and cool ocean spray, would be their home for a full month. Fane came up behind her, and she leaned back into him, turning her head so he kiss her better. “I can’t believe you booked this place for a month,” she grinned, shaking her head a bit. “But yeah… yeah, I am.” She turned her head and kissed him proper as they slowed a bit as they neared the docks.

Once tied off, their bags were handed over and loaded aboard a trolley that floated just above the pier. They climbed off the boat, Faye letting Fane help her step up, and were immediately directed towards a gentleman and a lady standing at the head of the pier. “Who’re they?” Faye whispered to Fane as they approached.

His hands rubbed her arms affectionately, his eyes hidden beneath the shades but the grin plastered across his mouth saying so much more than anything else ever could. With one kiss pressed to her head and the next to her lips as she turned to face him more directly he broke away his thumbs rubbing soft arcs into her skin. “I called in some favours, and you said anything goes love… and that’s precisely the motto of this place.” He was glad to hear she was excited though, it seemed everything was off to a good start and he intended to make sure it continued that way.

Once their bags were unloaded, and Fane helped Faye onto the dock his arm naturally slipping around the curve of her waist and keeping her wound close to his side. “Nikolai and Amanda Coster,” he answered into her ear voice low enough that just Faye could hear what he had to say “owners of the island and resort make a habit of greeting all the new guests. Just to make sure we know if anything happens we can contact them if needs be, formalities hm?” As they approached the other young couple who smiled in greeting Fane let his hand drop to Faye’s hip the other shaking Nikolai’s warmly.

“Welcome back Stefan, we weren’t sure we’d see you back here” Nikolai said in a heavily accented tone, something more Eastern European.

“But we’re glad you decided to change your mind,” Amanda chimed in and Fane grinned at them both “and I see you brought company, care to introduce?”

“Well maybe if you charged less I’d be more inclined to come back more often,” they all laughed at that “and I thought I’d treat my partner to a well deserved break in a place supposedly known for offering the best time ever… Amanda, Nikolai this is Faye” he gave her a little squeeze his eyes softening happily as he looked aside at her. “And she’s to be treated as nothing less than royalty hm? Only the best.”

Faye watched the exchange between Fane and the other man with quiet interest. She noted that they were on a first name basis, and that it seemed Fane was no stranger to this one of a kind resort. She made a mental note to ask him about the last time he’d been here once they were alone again.

Fane introduced her, and Faye shook both their hands, noting with an Auror’s trained eye - that she truly couldn’t help - that they seemed utterly genuine. Smiling faces, warm handshakes… the works. Though for the amount of money she imagined Fane had paid out for a holiday like this, they damn well better be smiling. “Nice to meet you both,” Faye said, glancing back at Fane with what might have been perceived by others as the long-suffering but loving look of a woman used to being treated ‘like royalty’ and having grown used to it. While that wasn’t the case at all.

Faye was simply a bit overwhelmed by it all, and was shooting him a look for the hell of it. But it wasn’t a bad thing. She’d agreed no fussing, no saying ‘no’ unless she was just absolutely uncomfortable with something. Though Fane had kept pretty mum on what ‘anything goes’ meant. Though for once, Faye couldn’t wait to find out.

Formalities over with, Amanda and Nikolai introduced them to their small entourage of personal assistants for the duration of their stay. Two men and two women, all of which were introduced by their first names. All dressed in simple, chic, weather appropriate clothes. Faye looked at Fane and raised her eyebrows. ‘Personal assistants?’ the look said. But they were whisked on their way to where they would be staying before she could ask out loud.

“This is… how does this place even exist?” Faye asked a bit later, once everyone was gone and they were mostly settled in. She was looking out at the slowly setting sun from their private veranda. “Is this real? Or am I in a coma dream?” Turning to look at him, she smiled. He looked so relaxed. So at ease. So at home here. Like a different person almost. One free of stress and the rigors of everyday living. That in itself was worth it to Faye. To see him like this.

“So… tell me… everything goes? I’ve got a pretty good imagination you know. What’s that mean exactly?”

“Lovely to meet you,” Amanda beamed seeming genuinely happy to have them here, which she was because the better time they had here the more likely it was they might return in the future. Business Woman's prerogative and all that but it didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy her job whilst she was at it. “You know, I knew the first time we met you must’ve had someone” and for once a touch of red stained his neck and brought about a rosy flush to the tips of his ears feeling inclined to hide his face in Faye’s neck but he merely chose to stay close. To hold her just a fraction tighter and smile with pure affection before pressing a kiss to her head because there were no prying eyes here, he didn’t have to worry about the thought of who might see them and he wanted to revel in it. They weren’t at work with Faye’s imposed rules and regulations here they could just be-- they could just be together, as a couple, as partners.

Once things were finalised and they were introduced to the people that would be taking care of the formalities and helping them out Fane merely returned her questioning look with a mild-mannered shrug.

Ultimately, they ended up being taken to a chalet located out on a stretch of sandy beach and crystal clear waters remote enough that it could be considered entirely private but also within walking distance to the main resort slightly further inland. They had a kitchen if they so wished, but Fane had no intention on cooking anything really unless it was maybe the odd breakfast or snack here and there but this was a trip about indulgence. In showering her with everything and anything he or she could ever want. So once they were finally alone, Fane picked up the expensive bottle of champagne that had been left on ice with a couple of glasses stepping outside with her.

“The Coster’s bought up this land generations ago, they always were the indulging sort-- made their finance off of retail and they saw a market they enjoyed working in. It developed from there really.” While he spoke he worked off the paper covering the cork “I caught wind they were having an event and it was just a matter of asking whether we could come along.” Gripping the bottle and aiming it up slightly he loosened off the cork until it shot off into the air and the champagne began to bubble and spill over his hands that he licked off “I mean, it is really what you make of it” he tipped the bottle up filling the glasses with the bubbling drink before setting the bottle down. “An island free from limitations, where anything you want to do or experience goes within reason of course. Nothing happens here without anyone’s initial and absolute consent, the only rule is everyone has fun and no one gets hurt.” Again, preferences dictating explaining why he and Faye were allowed to come along. “I’m also going to say now that yes, you’re probably going to see and maybe experience a few illegal contraband… But you’re not an auror, you’re here to have fun” he picked up the glass offering it to her with a grin “but they take every precaution here hm? So there’s nothing to worry about.”

Faye didn’t miss the way Fane flushed at Amanda’s words. Not usually one to get flustered, when it happened, it certainly drew Faye’s attention.She would definitely have to ask him about the last time he was here. He squeezed her a bit more tightly, and Faye could only smile. Her own small blush rose to her cheeks. Because it hadn’t escaped her notice that he’d been much more publicly affectionate since they left London. But then again, so had she. And even though she knew Fane didn’t like it, and pushed the limits of her work rules as much as he could - her desk could attest to that - Faye had her reasons. And Fane knew it.

Her job was dangerous, especially right now. The case they were pursuing - once they got back after this well-deserved vacation - was even more dangerous. As well as very public. Faye and Fane were both survivors of the war, of the Battle of Hogwarts that saw the end of Voldemort. It was a very close and very personal case, this possible rise of a would be Dark Lord. And Faye would be damned if she let that happen again. They’d lost entirely too much the first time through. She wasn’t going to lose anything else.

Which was why Faye had insisted - for the time being - that they keep a low profile as to the true nature of their personal relationship as far as work was concerned.

But here, they could forget about all that. Here they could be their true selves. Be as they were in private, but outside in the sunshine and the warmth. In the beauty of the water and the sand, surrounded by others but bothered by none unless they wished. Or so Fane said.

Faye watched him as he opened the bottle of champagne, grinning as the cork shot off into the distance and the fizzy alcohol poured out over his hand. The sun was warm on her back as she reached out and took the offered glass. “An event is it? What sort of event? And... “ She took a long sip of her drink, the bubbles tickling her nose. “I figured as much,” Faye said of the contraband, though it made her feel much better to know that there were safety measures in place. It also made her feel more comfortable in her decision to try things she never had before. Because Faye had promised to trust Fane no matter what. And this trip didn’t change that. They would likely not get this sort of chance again for a long while once they got back, so Faye was going to make the literal best of it. No limits. No rules. No expectations. No inhibitions.

She was willing to try anything, as long as Fane was there beside her.

“Well, good thing I’m no Auror right now. I’m just Faye. Your willing and ever malleable lover.” She tipped her glass against his with a small clink. “So, what’s first?” she grinned, downing the rest of her glass and holding it out for another.

Fane knew well enough the danger of her work, but just as she had told her boss he was tired. They were tired. Of this case invading every corner of their lives and this trip was an attempt to try and take back some corner of their lives for themselves or so it was what Fane hoped would come of this. He was already sinking into the enjoyment of just being able to touch her and kiss her without worrying about who might be watching because no one here cared. No one here had any real ulterior motivations beyond having a god damn good time and that, was something Fane was entirely here for.

Licking his hand clean he grinned at her happily, his eyes hidden behind the reflection of his shades not that she needed to see his eyes to be able to see how happy he was already. “The fun kind, a month of celebration of magic and music which means… every night and every day I can take you dancing, keep you wrapped up in my arms, spin you, kiss you dizzy hm?” setting the bottle down he shifted closer his arm naturally moving to wind around her waist once she took her drink. “Then we can find our way back here, or maybe we won’t-- maybe we’ll just fall asleep under the stars tangled together with just each other for warmth” he pressed a kiss to her temple then, eyes closing as he breathed her in and rested against her before drawing back. The fact she didn’t make a big deal about the things that would be around did bring about a quirk to his lips.

Because he had absolutely no intention of going anywhere.

“It’s true you are very malleable and not to mention flexible” he agreed grinning playfully at her as their glasses knocked lightly and he took a sip of the light beverage. “Well, what do you want to do? Get food? Explore? Go for a swim? All of the above? Or just relax here tonight?” they had time after all. A whole month of it.

“That sounds divine,” Faye smiled. “You might not get me to go home…” It wasn’t something she wanted to say too seriously to Fane, both because she didn’t really, truly 100% mean it (though she did seriously debate it at times), and because if she ever did mean it, he would whisk her away in a heartbeat and they would never look back. Or he wouldn’t. Because there were few things that could make Faye leave her job permanently. And until she decided to do so on her own - just like this holiday - Faye would never be able to settle. But once her mind was made up, like now, she was all in. “I try. Though you’re rather bendy yourself.” Faye hummed around her own drink. “I think after being on the plane and then the boat, I’d like to look around? Maybe go for a swim even. It’s been ages since I’ve been in water that didn’t smell like dead fish. Then maybe dinner here?” She gestured at the private veranda. “I’ll let you order for us, hm?”

They spent a bit more time chatting about what they were going to do, exchanging a few kisses and touches, and finishing off the bottle of champagne while they took a better look around their home for the next month. By the time they made it to the beach, the sun was touching the water. There were others out and about, but not many. The atmosphere was one of people either packing up from a day on the sand, or just coming out for the evening, much like Faye and Fane. They walked close together, the warm surf rushing gently up over Faye’s feet. Her sandals were in one hand, her other clasped loosely in Fane’s.

“So…” Faye asked, looking out over the water. “When was the last time you were here?”

Walking around the island brought a mixture of feelings to him and while the pleasant warmth of alcohol and encouraging touch of Faye’s fingers twined around his own certainly served to loosen his tongue and permitted a flow of conversation all while they wandered around a place he hadn’t been in such a long time. When he’d been a rather vastly different person the last time he was here. More inclined to darker delights and in search of absolute escapism. Whether that was drink, drugs, sex or a widely varied combination of them all he’d found them all here and for a time perhaps the only time he’d thought himself possibly capable of staying.

Unfortunately, the mind was a strange thing and as with most things he’d ultimately come to convince himself that he was undeserving of these things. That losing himself to the depths of pleasure would never wash away the sins and atrocities he had committed. The warmth that came earlier in the day had faded, leaving them alone with the shores and ocean that had come to be a welcome escape so often across the years. Not that he minded the assumption that came in some of the places he had visited that he preferred to be alone. Assumed to be a loner rather than asked. Not that he minded, the quiet lonely nights giving him time to reflect on why this was the consequence and aftermath of his life. Why he spent nights away from the one place, one person he might only have ever truly called home.

But now she was here with him, sharing in this secret place and Fane was glad to share it with her. He’d not bothered with shoes when they had left, walking barefoot and the tide sloshed around his ankles as they waded through the gentle swell of the surf. They had lapsed into a comfortable silence a while ago, only the rush of ocean and rustle of foliage sounding around them and Fane had lost himself to his thoughts. Though as Faye spoke he glanced aside at her. “Oh--” a slow rush of air left him and his shoulders lifted falling a moment later his eyes drifting down to the water frothing around his feet as he dragged them through the swell “a while ago now. I was gods, don’t know-- maybe twenty four?”

Faye hadn’t honestly thought it would be all that long ago. Of course, Fane didn’t speak all that much about his life before he’d come back to London. So there were still many things Faye didn’t know, even now. Though she was fairly certain if she asked he would tell her. Same with her. The big things he knew: her joining the Aurors, Roger, her accident and what followed, her Gram’s death, smaller things here and there. They were fairly well-rounded in what they knew of each other’s lives, though there was always something new to learn. And Faye would be content to spend her life doing just that: finding out everything there was to know about him.

“Twenty-four,” she repeated. “How long did you stay?” She was already an Auror at twenty-four. A new one, but fully-fledged nonetheless. Bells, whistles, badge. All of it. She idly wondered if he’d been alone on that last trip, though thinking back to what their host’s had said, it seemed as if he had been. Faye didn’t watch him as he thought over her question, knowing sometimes it was easier for him to answer if she wasn’t staring at him expectantly. Which she wasn’t. Expectant, that is. Anything he didn’t feel comfortable answering she would hardly ever push him to, unless it was needed. This wasn’t. This was curiosity on Faye’s part.

If Faye asked he would answer, it was more a matter that more often than not she didn’t and therefore most of the things Fane did or had gotten up to over the years had been left to dwell in the shadows. There also wasn’t much he’d done that he was all too proud of. More than once he’d ended up holed up high and entirely dosed up on some magical concoction or another until he’d finally come out of the state and been forced to come crashing back down to reality. A reality he had created and morphed for himself, one of carefully designed and implemented isolation that regardless of how many people graced his bed or were allowed the opportunity to use his body he still remained fundamentally disassociated and unattached. Because ultimately for all the distraction and attempts to convince himself that he was fine alone, or the times he finally succumbed to those dark impulses it was never enough to fill that chasm that had slowly been starting to fill in over the last couple of years.

“A few weeks maybe,” maybe more maybe less, if Fane was honest it was just another thing he didn’t entirely remember. “I can’t remember really” he didn’t remember much of any of those years most of them lost to drug induced hazes. But Faye had asked, and he would tell her what he could. Raising a hand to tug lightly at his ear never entirely comfortable with having to admit things about the state he’d really been in whether that be emotionally or mentally over the years “I never really stayed anywhere for long,” which was something she probably knew from the times she’d been trying to chase him around the globe. The trail of this so called dark wizard that had evaded and befuddled the Ministry at every turn which lent itself prove to his inability to stay anywhere for long both due to his flighty nature and the fact being caught meant facing the possible persecution that came with being put on trial for things he was only partly guilty of. Things he’d spent all that time punishing himself for, he didn’t need other people to do that for him “but-- it was fine” he didn’t say this for any other reason than being honest. He’d managed by himself, he was still here even if there were times of what felt like almost insurmountable sadness wasn’t he? So of course it was fine in his opinion, it always would be and now? This was so much more than he ever thought to expect or thought he would ever possibly be deserving of.

Faye knew there were dark things in Fane’s past, things she couldn’t even fathom. She’d seen him at his lowest, the night he’d confessed about the circumstances surrounding his brother’s death, and Faye - angry and shocked and confused - had left. She’d come back a few hours later to find Fane barely breathing, lying in a pool of his own blood. That had been their worst, and it had scared Faye to death. Yet she knew there were even worse things floating in the ether of the last fifteen odd years. That didn’t mean she would shy away from them when their ghosts seeped through the cracks into the here and now. They would work though it together, like they always did.

Faye’s own attempts at escapism hadn’t been as in-depth and varied. She still had her job to think about, her way of supporting herself. So she chose to seek out catharsis through physical means. By letting men hurt her. Muggle men. She’d seek them out in pubs and shady dives, nightclubs and the occasional street party, leaving no doubt what she wanted. And more often than not she’d end up in a dirty bathroom, or an alleyway, or even bent over the boot of a car while some roughneck took his frustrations out on her. She’d often end up bruised and sore, sometimes bloody, but the men never remembered a thing. And they never hurt her more than she allowed.

And then there had been Roger. Another failed attempt to make herself forget. To move on. That had ended badly.

But they were here now, and while none of those things would ever go away, it was a bit easier to handle when they weren’t alone. Faye hummed at his answer, thinking that it wasn’t fine, but it was so long ago was it really worth arguing over? Probably not. “I thought about leaving a few times. Going somewhere else. Starting over in America. Or Europe. Never could though. Guess it’s a good thing. You might not have found me otherwise, hm?”

His fingers toyed idly with her own as they walked along the beach, a gently twining or squeeze here and there indicating that he was feeling a little fidgety. Something that wasn’t all that uncommon when speaking about those years between his departure and subsequent return. It wasn’t quite fear anymore, though there were things he had yet to admit openly, but it was a certain shyness regarding what she might think. She’d stayed through most of the horrors and it eased him a little when others rose their heads, his trust in her absolute even if he still sometimes felt a little flighty. Not to mention the lingering shame and guilt over some of the habits and tendencies he’d developed to cope which in his mind weren’t so bad. Not really. Not when he had them under control but by an outside perspective might’ve been considered questionable and even life-threatening.

His thumb rubbed her hand with his thumb as their hands swung between them both, the walk slow and leisurely as his eyes trailed the cresting waves on the shore thinking of what it would be for Faye to go elsewhere. Of Faye to leave and them never to see each other save for that last fateful glimpse across a battlefield, before his mother had tried to kill her and driven him to lock into a gruelling and furious duel. “Where did you think about going?” he asked instead, though there was no helping the way his heart beat just a fraction faster at the thought of her leaving for any reason. In the last couple of years he’d grown to be… rather possessive of her, even if he couldn’t openly display that but it came from the dependency he had on her to help him through the rough patches when they hit because he wasn’t sure whether he was capable of dealing with them alone anymore.

Not after knowing what it was to have help, to have someone he trusted so absolutely to be there when he needed them. But as they walked a little longer a thought came to him, and he couldn’t help but ask it both for his own curiosity and peace of mind. “Would you ever leave it? The Division?” There were a thousand questions behind that. What would it truly take for her to leave the job she’d had and worked so hard for? Would she do it for him? Would she ever consider a life of just living in peace; the simple normalcy that came with a simple existence beyond the horror and grotesque things the criminals they hunted left in their wake? Had she ever considered it? Would she consider it? Perhaps it was another reason for this trip, to see what life might be like without the lingering worry or threat of harm befalling them. Would a month translate to what a lifetime might be like? He wasn’t sure, but a part of him was truly curious to find out the answer.

Faye shrugged. “New York maybe. Los Angeles. Seattle. Miami. Someplace big and distracting.” Because London was busy enough, and it wasn’t like she was ever just sitting at her desk twiddling her thumbs. But everything reminded her of a life she’d lost. A life she would never have. Because the only person she wanted it with was dead. Or so she’d thought. After her accident, she’d almost transferred out. She couldn’t stand the looks she got when she’d finally come back from leave. The whispers of what had happened. Or hadn’t. Depending on which rumor mill you followed.

Faye just wanted to do her job and be left alone.

Though you fire enough hexes and razor-edged words at people and they eventually learn to shut up. When you’re around at least. But that was then. Now, Faye was neck-deep in this investigation. Probably further than she needed to be. Further than was healthy. This vacation was a much needed break. Even she couldn’t deny that. Because all thoughts of leaving had gone out the window once Fane had come home. She wasn’t going anywhere, not now. The very thought of leaving Fane behind made her uneasy. And not just because she loved him, and never wanted to be without him. But also because of the thought of what might happen to him if she did. Of what might happen to her. None of it was good. And she had already settled it in her mind that nothing could ever drag her away from him. Not again.

So when he asked his question, about her leaving the division, Faye frowned slightly. After a moment, she nodded slightly. “I mean… sure. Maybe. If I had to, or if… if there was something that was more important. Something that… that without it, what’s the point of the job? Or anything really.” She shrugged one shoulder. “So sure. I’d never say never. I also wouldn’t say right now, but… I can’t do this forever, right?”

Truth was, Faye would go. If Fane came to her, and with all sincerity and seriousness asked her to leave, to come away with him and start a new life… Faye wasn’t sure she could say no. She wasn’t sure she could look at him, at the one person she loved more than anything else in this life, and tell him she couldn’t come with him. Because a job that would replace her the day after she resigned.

He was her one true weakness, after all.

“I thought you didn’t like the big cities?” he pointed out curious what would drive her from her countryside retreat to somewhere far bigger and noisier by comparison. “What’d you do there? Set up shop and open a bar?” but Fane could understand the appeal of larger bigger than life places. Places where you could lose yourself in the crowds and just become another anonymous passing face. A place to vanish. Where you wouldn’t be recognised when walking down the street for one thing or another. He’d experienced it more often than not over the years and couldn’t say it was a bad feeling, to just feel normal for once in his life because by now Fane was tired of feeling anything but normal. If working at the Ministry had shown one thing it was that people would never forget who he was, what he was and the rumour mill would always continue to churn about just what he really intended to do at the Ministry.

He hadn’t meant to open a deep feelings discussion, but he would’ve been lying to say it wasn’t a can of worms he wasn’t curious to know about. To know whether, for the right reason or right person she might be persuaded to leave those fair isles and seek out something new. Something that would ultimately be safer and better for them both, because despite the happiness being with Faye and working with her brought about it didn’t stop him wondering about asking her to leave. To just pick up everything and move their lives somewhere better and start anew. Together.

Was it really such a terrible idea?

But in this Fane was stuck with one rather pressing matter, Faye’s wish to see justice done. To catch this killer and see them brought to accountability for the things they had done and while he understood the desire, it didn’t ultimately change the risk that also came with it. That being said there really was no one better suited for this life than Faye, but it didn’t mean he would ever stop being concerned about the danger she constantly put herself in. He had lost her once, and if something happened to her and he couldn’t stop it… Fane already knew that it would destroy him. “I don’t mean having to, I mean-- would you ever choose to? Y’know willingly without any outside influence, no pressure just… Decide to leave it all and start again, somewhere new. No pretenses, no being called out to categorise a crime scene or hunt a murderer just-- Just live a life. An entirely normal life?”

“I don’t. But I knew it would distract me enough to keep my mind off things I wasn’t ready to think about.” It was true. Faye preferred the quiet countryside. Not so far away that she couldn’t easily apparate of even drive to town, but away from the bustle. She needed peace. She needed nights where you could see the stars. Hear the leaves rustle. Feel the breeze on your face and not smell ozone or garbage.

“I really didn’t think that far,” she said as he asked what she would’ve done in another place. “I guess deep down I know I’d never leave. It almost felt like… giving up. On myself. On you. On everything I’d worked so hard for. Though I don’t know. I think I would’ve liked to be a singer.” She grinned at him, remembering fondly all those nights they’d spent at bars around London. Him playing piano and her singing until last call. They made a good duo, knowing each other so well. Fane always chose songs that were good for Faye’s voice, and Faye always sang along with nearly everything, unless he tried to make her think fast and play something off the wall.

Faye didn’t mind the questions. They talked often, sometimes for hours about anything and nothing. So she relished - even though it frightened her a bit - the chance to talk about something on a slightly deeper level. This trip was about reconnecting, wasn’t it? What better way than to be open and honest in everything?

So when he reformed the question, Faye took her time to seriously think about it. Even if she was doing her best to keep work out of their lives right now.

“At the moment? With this thing unclosed? No. I wouldn’t choose to. Not on my own,” she amended. There were things - circumstances and events, and Fane himself - that could make her choose to leave it all behind. “I’ve got to finish this, Fane. After that…” Faye looked at him, really looked at him, for a long moment. The way the setting sun made him look. His dark features highlighted against the warm light. “I could see myself choosing to leave. For the right reasons.” The way her eyes moved over his face would speak plenty. ‘Reasons’ being him. He was the only reason she’d ever choose to go. And she wanted him to know that.

Faye squeezed his hand, pulling him closer and wrapping her arm through his. He could ask more questions if he liked, but at the moment, after such an admission, Faye needed a moment.

“So… what’s after dinner tonight?” she asked. “If you’re up for showing me, I think I’d like to do something I’ve never done…” Faye tipped an eyebrow at him. “Something that… feels good? Whatever you like…”

Things she wasn’t ready to think about, the passing remark struck a chord and his eyes drifted back to the water that lay ahead on their slow meander back to the beachfront villa. “Well, I guess if there’s anything that’s true you’re not one to give up without a fight” he tried to inject a certain amount of humour into the remark but even for him it felt a little flat. The overbearing thought of what could have been weighing down the lightheartedness. Which certainly hadn’t been the point of this trip, so as she brought up something less dour he latched on eagerly “ooh, you know they have pianos here… We should do that one night, you and me… Just get hammered ‘n’ just have some good old fashioned fun…” because there was no one he wanted to spend time with more than he did with her. “Do you still sing?” he asked looking aside at her then it was a passing remark, Fane couldn’t actually remember hearing her sing. At least not recently, and it caused him to wonder if she had stopped entirely.

Honesty was one thing, and Fane did appreciate it but for the most part he wasn’t sure how to take her answer. The immediate no, at least with this ongoing case caused him to drag his foot a little in the sand not wanting to be petulant but also not quite feeling capable of truly being--- well, happy with the answer. But just as he knew it ultimately all boiled down to seeing justice served and it wasn’t as if she said never. Just a moment more of, not right now. So even as she looked at him, practically and Fane knew she was doing it deliberately, imploring him to take notice which he did and he didn’t need to look at her to know the truth. But it didn’t change the fact that he didn’t want to go back, that he wanted to whisk her away to some life where they could start again together without ever having to deal with the darkness of their hometown again. So, he nodded, a slow and deliberate motion “yeah…” he didn’t want to admit to feeling a little hurt that not even he was enough to convince her to leave right now so instead he mustered a smile easily enough after a lifetime of learning how to pull a convincing look out of thin air “‘course that makes sense.”

Even if a part of him wondered, how much longer will this cast last?

So he let her jostle him, slipping her arm through his and Fane held her close, secure into his side as they approached the villa and by now the sun was vanishing behind the ocean casting the sky into a soft haze of orange, pinks and purples. But his melancholy was set aside as she asked what they could do after dinner, and a spark lit in his eyes not to mention the playful smile on his lips “well, that depends on what you want-- something relaxing? Or something more… provoking hm?”

“Not usually, no,” she grinned. “Not in my nature to give up. Not in yours either.” They walked along for a few more paces, but Faye frowned a bit as he commented on her singing. “Yeah… ‘course I do. Remember? You played for me just the other night before we left?” She was a bit fuzzy from jetlag, so she brushed the lapse of memory off as simply that. Or else he was messing with her. Fane knew she sang. They’d done it dozens of times. So Faye didn’t think anything else of it after she said that yes, she’d like that very much.

For her part, the fact that Faye had said she wouldn’t choose to leave on her own while the case wasn’t finished was true. Especially considering her rather prominent role in it. She wouldn’t. But that didn’t mean that if Fane put up enough of a fight, and had a good enough reason, that she wouldn’t consider it. Even do it. Just… well, not on her own. Though she could tell he wasn’t all the pleased with the answer. Honestly she hadn’t expected him to be. But she wouldn’t lie. He had asked her a direct question, so she had answered. Even if her answer could have been slightly misconstrued. Which she wasn’t entirely certain if it was, or if it was simply the fact that her answer hadn’t been yes.

But she didn’t want that to cloud over anything. They’d been having an amazing time so far, and Faye couldn’t be happier than she was right now. This trip was good. For them both. For Fane because he deserved it a thousand times over for putting up with her and helping her and being amazingly patient. All while trying to have a life around it. A life with her. And for Faye, that’s what this trip was about. Seeing how it could be. Seeing how a normal life (though this place was hardly normal by her standards, though that wasn’t the point) with the man she loved could be. Seeing how much she loved just… being a couple. Being in love. Being young. It could go a long way to convincing her to find a new career path. But she also didn’t want to think of this as some sort of… exercise. Something that either would or wouldn’t make her choose a new path.

It wasn’t that at all. It was simply a deserved break. Another part of life. Their life. Together. And Faye planned to take full advantage of it. She wouldn’t speak a word about work again. Kissing his arm after he murmured that it made sense, Faye hummed thoughtfully. “Provoking sounds like a good time, hm?”

They made their way back to the villa, Faye leaving Fane to order their dinner while she went to freshen up. She changed her dress, slipping into a different one that wasn’t mussed from the plane and boat ride, and combed her hair out with her fingers. She didn’t bother with shoes, since even if they left the house it was mostly sand, soft grass, or walkways charmed for walking comfort. She picked two bottles of wine and brought them to chill in the ice bucket already waiting on the veranda dining area, and moved to sit on the luxurious patio furniture that was nicer than what was in her house. She lit a cigarette, offering him one if he wanted. “So… what’s for dinner? Or after?”

With dinner for tonight left entirely up to him Fane had considered the extensive menu left in the apartment, naturally going with the one thing he always fancied eating. That being prawns in a garlic butter for a starter along with pao de quejo; fluffy cheesy balls of bread typically sourced in Brazil, followed up by a large platter of seafood including lobster, crab, fish and scallops served up with pasta and salad. Thanks to the use of magic, and a well-equipped staff it wasn’t long before Fane was assured their food would arrive. Alongside this, came the request for some--- certain other things to also be delivered later on. Thanking the staff for their aid and discretion Fane set the phone done, and just as Faye had opted headed to grab a quick shower.

Changing into a set of slightly nicer clothes and choosing to leave his hair wet Fane finally headed out onto the veranda where Faye was waiting. Considering the night had yet to cool and the ocean breeze blowing in off the open ocean his hair was stirred into slight wavy curls as he stopped by her seat, his fingers brushed her shoulder more as a way to let her know he was here considering he hadn’t said anything. Though as she offered him the cigarette he plucked it neatly from her fingers raising it to his mouth for a slow drag, the filter glowing as he inhaled the smoke filling his lungs and then exhaling it slowly. “They have freshly sourced seafood here, some of the best-- though they’ll cook anything you fancy so long as you ask but I thought shellfish would be nice hm? As for after dinner, well, why ruin the surprise?”

Letting her take the cigarette back after another puff he sought out the wine bottle, cracking it open and pouring them both a large glass. Picking his own he swirled it idly, moving to put some background music on the stereo system coming to sit down in the chair opposite her stretching his legs out languidly thinking on how much nicer this would’ve been ten or twelve years ago. They weren’t old, he knew, barely touching thirty-four but he couldn’t help but feel like there was so much of life that had been wasted. It was his fault, but Fane knew dwelling on such thoughts was perilous so after a sip of his drink he looked over at her, illuminated in the soft light from a magical fire-pit that had stirred to life as the night began to creep in. “So, what do you think of it so far?” he asked a small smile gracing his lips as he settled back into the chair comfortably.

Perhaps tomorrow night Faye would look over what was available for dinner and try her hand at ordering. She’d learned a fair bit about the art of food in her time with Fane, and thought herself a decent hand at ordering items that went well together. But she still wasn’t as well-versed as Fane. So tonight she left it entirely up to him, both food and other things, more content than she’d been in a long time to do so. And truth be told, there was a strange sort of appeal whenever she watched Fane doing something he was good at. Perhaps it was pride. Or affection. Or arousal. Or all of the above. Either way, Faye always felt a familiar tightness in her chest. And it felt good.

She looked up at the sound of his footsteps. The brush of his hands along her shoulders had her letting out a low sigh of contentment. Her eyes ran over him as she passed the cigarette, admiring and commenting on his attire. He looked… well, Faye thought he looked good enough to eat. And she wasn’t shy about letting him know it. Though for now, she was content to leave him in his clothes. Because this was nice. “Shellfish is perfect. Does the wine suit?” she asked as she took up her own. Another thing he knew more about was wine. But she was learning. It tasted amazing, though she had no doubt everything here was top shelf. “I love a good surprise,” she grinned around the glass.

Faye felt the same way from time to time. That so much of their life had been wasted. Wasted in not being together. In reality, being magical, they had another century of life. And Faye planned to make the most of it. What that meant, she wasn’t quite sure yet. Other than it meant spending her life with the man across from her. She looked around at the beautiful villa, the firelight, the water, and then back at him. “I love it,” she said quietly, reaching out to rub his calf with her foot. “How about you? Are you happy?”

“It’ll match, and if not we’ll just have to drink this and open another one hm?” it wasn’t hard for them both to get entirely lost in a bottle of wine (or several) before a night was through. Though usually wine between the two of them indicated a more amorous mood between the pair of them. If the liquor was harder, something more like whiskey or bourbon it indicated that the night was likely going to take a darker and more twisted turn. Not that either of them truly minded such things, more often than not needing those moments to reconnect and re-establish the balance between them both. Wine would suit for now, there was no doubt that throughout the other evenings they were out on the island there would be other drinks available and Fane would be loathe to miss the opportunity for a body shot or two. So after the smoke, he gazed at her contently “you know,” he commented thoughtfully around the rim of his glass “I’m going to take you dancing tomorrow and we’re going to get hammered and just-- have the most amazing time… Maybe we’ll play a game while we’re at it.”

His canines flashed at her, a smirk gracing his features and amusement glimmering in his eyes. Who could resist? Especially when it stood to reason he could also flaunt his gorgeous girlfriend off at the same time and maybe even provoke a few interested parties in a bit more--- well, fun.

The pressure of her foot grazing his calf might’ve caused him to shift, if he hadn’t know or at least got an idea of the game she was playing. Instead, Fane let his legs indolently spread into a comfortably open position. “How could I be anything but happy when I’m here with you?” And it wasn’t long after that the table transformed, magic stirring the atmosphere around them as their dinner arrived served up on tantalising silver platters and more than enough to satisfy an appetite and Fane more than happily tucked in. Eating his fill of the sumptuous starter before moving on to the main course. If there was one thing that was true it was he loved food, and could more than happily pack away a large amount in next to no time. And by the time he was done, Fane sat back licking off his fingers, “God I love food.”

“Sounds good to me,” Faye nodded, lifting her glass in agreement. This was only their first night of many, as Fane thought. Faye was content to let tonight play out as it would, with wine and food and whatever else Fane had ordered for later. Part of her was a bit nervous, never having ventured too far down the rabbit hole. But the other part was excited to try something new. Especially because she trusted Fane implicitly. He would make sure it was safe, though she also remembered the island had failsafes built in as well. Though just because it was highly unlikely something would kill you, that didn’t mean you’d like how it made you feel or what it did. But Faye was open to anything, just like she’d said.

And there was plenty of bourbon and whiskey back at the villa’s bar for another night. She swirled what remained of her wind in her glass, a smile on her face as he mentioned dancing. “I’d like that. What kind of dancing though? I haven’t waltzed since Hogwart’s, just so you know.” Faye grinned. It was highly doubtful that Fane meant any sort of classical dancing. But whatever he had in mind, she would adapt to. She always did. “What sort of game? Like a wager?” Faye sat forward. “You know I like a good bet now and then.”

Faye had already notice a few wandering eyes moving over them. She didn’t mind. It was a heady sensation, walking around a place like this, with all it’s beauty and glamour in both the island itself and the people staying here, and knowing you were drawing someone’s attention. It was something Faye and Fane hardly ever got the opportunity to enjoy. What with life back in London being what it was. But here… here, no one knew them, and they could be themselves. As hedonistic and playful and outrageously decadent as they wanted.

Her eyes wandered over him as he relaxed under her touch. Finally settling on his face, her gaze softened. “Me too.” She really was happier than she’d ever been. And she hoped it showed.

Dinner arrived then, and Faye was a bit taken with how much food there was, but funnily enough, she was able to eat more than she thought. It was all amazing, and by the time they were done the table and it’s contents were well and truly done for. Faye honestly didn’t know where Fane put it all. With his tall lean frame. Faye had to keep herself fit or everything would go straight to her hips and her boobs.

She laughed low in her throat as she sucked a bit of butter of her thumb. “I’d hardly noticed. That was… amazing. If all the food is this good... “ Faye shook her head. “I’m going to have to run three miles every day not to gain twenty pounds while we’re here.”

“I mean, we could waltz but that wasn’t exactly what I had in mind considering it’s more of a party--- well,” his grin was lopsided “let’s just say it’ll leave plenty of time for me to get you all hot and bothered.” But talk turned to other things and his grin grew a bit more devious, “well, how’d you feel about the idea of some other people joining us for a night? Whoever brings back the prettiest person-- well, how about they get control and whatever it is they want for the night?” Fane knew well enough there were more than enough people on the island that they would likely fit the criteria so he wasn’t too worried about that but he also was curious to see whether it was something she might enjoy.

With dinner done, more wine vanishing in the process between the two of them Fane grinned and sat back stretching himself out for a moment. His bare feet crossed and he rolled his head to one side as he looked at her as she commented about gaining weight whilst they were here. “Seafood isn’t all that bad, and if you want to eat healthier some nights we can do that” they also had plenty of fruits on the island which meant breakfast and lunch didn’t have to be cop-outs either. There were ways of staying healthy on holiday, but it didn’t hurt to indulge sometimes “does that mean I’m going to have to start running?” he pulled a face, not quite petulant but it was all in jest if it meant time with her he wouldn’t complain (too much).

Licking his lips he sighed contently, though there was a playful gleam in his eyes “but you know, there are plenty of other fun activities that burn calories y’know…. Get all wet, have fun whilst you’re doing it...” he trailed off before tacking on “obviously I’m talking about going for a swim.”

“Waltzing is a bit… stuffy for a place like this,” she agreed. Though the conversation quickly moved on to far more interesting topics. Though what Fane suggested wasn’t anything near what Faye thought it might be. Strangely though, she found herself entertaining the idea. Refilling her wine glass, she sat back, her foot still toying about his calves as she thought over the suggestion. “Could be fun,” she said finally, a small smirk growing on her face. “We’ve never tried that before.” It wasn’t something Faye had ever ruled out trying, but back home their options had been slightly limited due to several factors. But here… here the options were only limited by the number of people on the island.

“Oh, well… then you’ll definitely win. My flirting style is… non-existent. Other than you, of course. I don’t know if I could entice anyone back to our bed.” It was just a bit of a self-esteem issue on Faye’s part. She wasn’t blind. She’d seen the people that watched them as they’d been around the island today. Just as she and Fane found those that were attractive to them. “But… deal. One person each. Prettiest wins.” She downed what remained of her glass of wine, and poured another. “Though if I’m honest… I’m in a mood to not make any decisions tonight, if you catch my drift.” She grinned at him around her glass. “But fair’s fair, right?”

“I’d never dream of making you run with me. We’ll just go with it, hm? I’m sure we’ll get up to enough to keep us both trim and fit over the next couple of weeks, hm?” As the remains of dinner vanished back to where it came from, Faye stood. “We can swim if you like… maybe do some prospecting? See who’s interested?” She moved past him, dragging her hand along his shoulders. “My money’s on the boys…” Faye had caught several men paying attention to Fane as they’d walked along the beach earlier. A couple of them were a few years younger, and didn’t seem to have much experience in keeping their gaze low-key. Though that wasn’t a bad thing. Faye could enjoy enthusiasm. As could Fane. It might even be fun, finding someone so eager and making them wait. In a place like this, she doubted there was a lack of them.

They would just have to see what happened.

#hp au #scene

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