#so he cant even imitate him

[albino-whumpee]

Mentioning Sann and Al on therapy is so embarrassing. I already know what they truly mean to me, man, don´t say it outloud like that. 

Tho, I have the sensation that my therapist messes who is who sometimes, so sometimes his examples arent very accurate. But something that made me relax was his words about their relationship. How Sann first started reciprocating his feelings because he felt indebted and slowly realized he didn´t have to pay back even if there was nothing specific that provoked it was somewhat relieving. 

But I wonder if he understood later he feels lacking and frustrated when he can´t give back the care and comfort Al provided when he was recovering from his conditioning, because he feels that its not an equal exchange and sees the impact in Al´s depression turning worse and worse.

#he knows he is not supposed to take care #like being completely responsible for his feelings #but he feels like he isnt helping at all #and all the strategies al used for him dont work the other way around #so he cant even imitate him #and its so hard #because he didnt fight all the trauma himself #he somehow just allowed time to heal him #and proximity with al helped #but for al #it doesnt work that way #i dont like comparing traumas #but albus trauma is not something sann wouldve been able to endure #so sann is at a loss on what to do #even if he tries his best with what he knows #i think it hurts him so much to see al understand that #and that he kind of doesnt expect him to help him #as if he was used to dealing with everything and himself all alone #it fuels his anger and drive tho #he wants to prove he can be helped #and that he can help #ah the baby #wuv u sann

[discountsoysauce]

I'm curious what people think about Victor and Eli's relationship during the Lockland Era. I'm of the opinion that Eli cared about Victor as a person more than Victor cared about him, which isn't to say I don't think Victor cared, but I think his care was a lot more focused on himself and how Eli made *him* feel. This isn't an analysis or anything, really. I don't have evidence from the books to back me. I'm just more sharing a headcannon than anything. If anyone has any thoughts on this please share them I'm curious

#its like #i feel like Victor saw Eli as a puzzle to be solved #he wanted his attention and companionship #but any actual worry or care he has for him is stuffed down so far it only surfaces when he thinks Eli might not come back #And Eli definitely has those moments of selfishness too #but he clearly cared a lot more about Victor's safety than Victor even cared for himself #his feelings are nowhere near entirely selfless but to me it felt like he had a lot more affection(?) for Victor before it all went to shit #which made him even more willing to kill Victor in the end #because in his mind the Victor he knew and loved was already dead #and whoever was left was just a crude imitation wearing his skin #and when that opinion gets called into question he doubles down on it #because he cant handle the idea that this is who Victor really is #or the fact that everything hes done was to his real friend #anyway thats just my take on it #let me know what you think #vengeful ve schwab #vicious ve schwab #victor vale #villains series #eli ever #eli cardale #evervale #vicious #vengeful

[llumimoon]

Started thinking about the oak family again mood board

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #OUGHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHH PUGHHGGHFFGHHHGGHHHHB #had the horrible terrible thought of henry dying some time after normal is born and before season 2 starts #like when normal is like ten maybe #and I got this like. vivid image in my head #of a reversal of the oak twins reactions to their dads death in comparison to the stabbing #LIKE. IDK #I think in lark’s brain he sees it as he indirectly killed his dad when he decided to summon the doodler #that henry probably died bc of doodler stuff #and being an adult and having that perspective of what he was like as a teen #and having to confront how he treated his dad after he died #idk I think lark would have lost it #and for sparrow…. #i think up until that point he has spent so long repressing parts of himself I think he feels a little numb #like he can’t believe it kind of way #and he also has a family now #he cant come home to his kids a mess. he feels like he has to hold that in #and I also think that makes sparrow trying so hard to imitate henry’s kinda lifestyle even more devastating #like he’s trying to chase after his memories of his dad to try to understand him after he’s gone #also have had lots of thoughts of hero and normal going to their grandma Mercedes whenever they get into a fight at home #also thinking about normal and henry. #OUGH. #JUST. MANY THOUGHTS. #should I character tag this #fuck it we ball #henry oak #lark oak garcia #sparrow oak garcia #normal oak

[camels-pen]

got inspired by a fic i read the other day, but didn't quite hit the right spots for me so. time to write out a new wip idea

The concept of that fic really grabbed me - Jason and Tim having a bodyswap the same day Jason wakes up in his coffin, at a point after Tim had already visited Bruce and Alfred with his insistence that Batman needed a Robin - but for what I was thinking, by the time Jason convinces Bruce and Alfred of who he is, Tim's already started to dig himself out of the coffin. And when the three of them show up at the cemetery, the grave's empty.

Tim would be catatonic and go through much of the same stuff canon Jason went through before being found and dunked in the Pit. He'd end up enduring the whole League of Assassins shtick that canon Jason went through while at the same time Jason is dealing with Tim's regular person life. Both of them struggled a bit trying to imitate the other, but they managed- Tim with not much issue considering no one in the LoA was close to Jason, and Jason trying to manage Janet Drake's clearly growing concern every time he slips up.

Like, imagine Tim, desperately trying to imitate what he knows of Jason from watching Robin on the streets and seeing Jay in a few galas here and there. And one day, Talia tries to tell him he'd been quickly replaced to get him to finally listen and Kill Somebody/accept he was staying with the League until they deemed him fit to leave.

And Tim looks at a picture of himself, hanging around the front yard of Wayne Manor with Bruce, Alfred, and Dick. Another picture showing himself in an ill-fitting Robin uniform on a rooftop and seemingly getting lectured by Batman, who looms in front of him.

And he says "I'm not buyin' it."

Somehow convinces Talia that he's not convinced that the Tim in the photo (who is probably Jason and thank god, Tim was really worried about what happened to Jason's mind- or rather, his own body; he didn't actually consider Jason coming back to life until now) and she arranges a short trip for him to Gotham to see for himself.

Tim really struggles the next two days to keep up the Jason act, but he's pretty sure Talia and the others were just chalking it up to nerves at seeing his family again and the "newest addition".

When he finally gets to Gotham, he doesn't bother being stealthy. He doesn't have the skills- no matter how much Ra's and Talia's goons have been trying to beat it into him- and even if he did, he doubted he'd be able to sneak away from his own teachers that were stalking him from the shadows.

So he does his best to be casual. Walks straight towards Wayne Manor, and when he can actually start to hear his assassin stalkers the tiniest bit as he approaches the gate- a sign they're getting really restless- he decides now or never and bolts the rest of the way.

He thinks, if he had come sooner to Gotham, he would've tried fitting through the gaps in the bars- as if he was still 13 and small enough to fit- but as it is, Tim's spent 6 months in this body and he's not going to make that mistake.

Instead he slams a hand on the buzzer and says as fast as he can, "it's Tim! Tim Drake! There's assassins, open the gate!"

He has a heartstopping moment when nothing happens- when there's no answer and the ninjas are getting closer and closer and- And then it opens and Tim doesn't stop with his relief, he runs.

The door is opened not by Mr. Pennyworth, but by Bruce himself, a belt clipped around his waist, but entirely in sleepwear. He has something in his other hand and as he yells, "duck!" Tim can only think it's some kind of bomb and dives for the ground.

He was sort of right. It was a smoke bomb. He heard and smelled it hissing away behind him, and saw the cloud of smoke in his peripheral vision.

Bruce wasted no time running past him and barking, "Follow Alfred to the cave!" Tim took a moment to just breathe, feeling much more safe with Batman fighting to protect him. When Bruce looked back at him through a spot in the smoke, he yelled, "Go!"

Tim scrambled to obey, trying to run and stand and awkwardly doing both to get in the home. Mr. Pennyworth was just inside the foyer, out of sight of the windows, now that Tim noticed, and holding a shotgun.

He was also wearing a fluffy blue bathrobe and fuzzy pink bunny slippers.

Tim blinked. "Uhhh,"

"Come along, Master Tim. We must be quick."

He didn't protest and followed him down to the Cave, where Jason in Tim's body sat waiting at the Batcomputer.

Man, I'm not completely sure on the timing, but imagine Tim finally getting back into his body and it's- he's taller than he used to be, bulkier too. And there are reflexes and muscle memory stuff he doesn't remember at all, but now just has.

He- he was Robin. Or, his body at least, and he felt like it. But he never was Robin. Not really. He never got a proper outing, never even received Bruce's official approval for it.

It was strange. And not totally a good strange.

He thought about the body he had. He didn't have a lot of love for it- puberty would do that to anyone- but it was his. And that saying about not knowing what you have until you lose it? Yeah.

Tim felt like crying.

#dc #bodyswap #tim drake #nemotime #didnt really focus on the jason bits here but if i ever actually write this- jay would probably get more of a comedy/humour role? #like yeah they gotta find tim and tim's parents are genuinely concerned and all #but much of it would be just funny shenanigans of Jason being saddled with two sets(?) of worried parents #and just when he manages to get things sort of under control. Dick shows up #i havent yet decided if he just becomes Very Annoying Older Sibling who has no idea how to process his emotions currently #and tries to fall back on tried and true tactics #OR if he is in Complete Denial and thinking this was just an elaborate ruse by Tim & lists the exact ways Tim would know how to imitate Jay #(he's right and each accusation/point would probably be juxtaposed with a brief switch in scenes to whatever Tim is currently up to #which also happens to prove Dick's point exactly even though no one can except the audience can see that) #Jay would knock sense into Dick eventually but the point is. I could make his life humourous suffering :3 #Either way Dick would show up some time after Bruce remembers to call him & he would Not leave the manor until Tim is back safe and sound #(not for Jason obviously. pfft. Jason's just fine. Dick doesn't need to stay at the manor to make sure of it. He's just staying to find Tim #okay. realistically. this would just be a hella lot of angst. However! Having that shift from Angst with Tim to Laughing at Jason would be. #so fun. #tho i'd probably still sprinkle in some Angst with Jason bc i cant help myself lol

[selkiecoded]

a sumi haircut variation ive been testing out. i wanna say its a bit post-canon, not too far off, maybe a year or so. hasnt quite figured out what to do with herself yet, but shes getting there. only a little ways away from graduation.

#the clock chimes at midnight #selk.art #okay because im going stir crazy in my beautiful mind here. i forgot where everyone in the royal ending went so ive just kinda been doing a #post canon au based entirely arnd sumire and the only person whos really gone is ren. the others are in school and stuff still lol #ANYWAYS she and ren start dating a few weeks before 2/3 and after they restore the world its a very tumultuous start considering ren #immediately gets sent to jail. even after he gets out theyre both grieving akechi + it feels like theyre just going through the motions. #everyones like omg we could tell this was gonna happen! and it makes them uncomfortable for reasons they cant articulate #ren is using sumire to get over akechi + sumire is modeling rens identity + both see akechi in the other and are sad abt it #on top of all that they get into a huge fight when sumire learns rens leaving in like. a month. and she didnt know. #(he genuinely didnt realize she didnt know but gets bitchy in return) #they try to make it work long distance for a month/two but eventually mutually breakup (both a little bitter but agree to remain friends) #overall its a cute relationship with um . very odd undertones. #anyways she still wears her hair straight up or straight down during all that point. HAHAHA remember this is abt hair! #after ren leaves she latches onto ann + ryuji who are still going to school w her. and after the breakup simply bc #ryuji is a Boy and sumire is a Girl and They Enjoy Being Around Each Other they both reflexively think abt getting together #sumire starts to imitate him (bc for some weird reason she keeps wanting to be like boys!) and ryuji is like am i breaking bro code rn.. #nothing ever happens bc neither actually wants to date the other and ann is always hanging around but its an odd time for everyone #she bleaches the tips of her hair for a little bit but its so small when she gets it chopped off its like nothing happened lol #this is probably around third year when ann/ryuji have graduated and the only thief around is futaba. #and. please nobody kill me for this. i think the two have interesting thematic similarities but the ship between them has always felt like #pairing the same-age spares to me. and i havent read anything thats convinced me of its full potential yet. #that to say i think theyre friendly but not super close. so sumire has to learn to just. exist by herself for the first time in years. #like i said this is probably when this actual haircut starts getting used. shes figuring it out! #after she graduates shes the first one to find akechi again and theyre both doing a lot better and become very close. #they move in together! platonically! unless...? but thats not the point! akechi helps her realize shes transmasc at which point she gets a #real short haircut. i cant decide. theres one thats like a curly haired bob almost and one thats shorter + looks kinda windswept #and thats all the haircut hcs i have for her postcanon timeline! spreads hands jazz hands. not all the timeline hcs but my thumbs r tired.

[thedeadthree]

🌸💕

I FEEL OKAY !!!!!!!!! I FEEL FINE ! REALLY!!!!!! THE HUG SCENE HAD NO EFFECT ON ME IM NOT CRYING!

#leg plays bg3 #bg3 spoilers #leg.txt #crying on the floor!! and crying on the floor bc i fixed the save shenanigans!!!!!!! yay! #godd okay the scene i almost feel like in the case of yana was that she didn’t want him to hear her thoughts skjzjzhz #how she’s morning someone she doesn’t remember no one in particular hehe <3 so she chose to hug him instead !! #i yelled about it in twt but I found a mod where you can wear g*ortashs gauntlet and it gave me THOUGHTS !! #and i thought what if he made one for yana (it’s more decoration than functional but yk !!!!) and the BRAINWORMS I GOT FROM THAT #the thought she is the way she is with ast is things she instinctively remembers from him and its SO #even the unhinged can be soft and mourn lovers they don’t recall bc I SAID SO!!!!!!! she has range!! #oc: anasyana an enaviryn #ITLL hurt like NO ONES BUSINESS when i save to write the scene where their tryst comes to an end RAHH #did it mean anything was it just her imitating what she had with someone else to bring back a semblance of what she lost WHAT WAS IT 🥀😵‍💫 #i mean either way they’ll both walk away better and worse for it in the end so!! #but i mean i think he is resigned to that their history was something he knew would be an undertaking to keep up with ✨😭🥀 #(though his resignation won’t last long as it’s the one where he ascends so it’s fight night at wyrms for yanas hand or something 🥀😵‍💫) #(i mean it’s not like THAT that ofc but the besties get it <3) #not to worry vampire pookie you’ll get the sweetest romance ever with sarspira JUST U WAIT MY LOVE!! #oh i cant wait for her playthrough RAHH i am so excited it’s the one i have planned where sarspira’ll resist her urge ill be EMOTIONAL #in that one scene especially where yk he sits with them the whole night while they’re tied trying to zero them GAHH

[dirt-str1der]

Kiryu would literally hate meeting any alternate version of himself like he spends all his time pretending like his body doesnt exist in the third dimension , if he sees a doppelganger he would be like oh ha ha another copycat and then when he realises no. Thats literally another instance of himself he would get so scared and when he gets scared he gets pissed off and he would be unable to stand this other him

#Yakuza loveblog #this is literally such a niche trope i love but like meeting yourself is like being torn into half #a thousand times worse than looking in the mirror. your skin crawls the more you notice the differences but the worse than those #are the similarities. the way they carry themself mirrors you perfectly #the way they breathe the way they turn their head the faces they make. a perverse imitation of you #i was terrified thinking of doppelgangers the other day they are so ... scary ... dont you think so #how can it be ... i want to perish the thought but i simply cant #anyway im forcing kiryu to meet his clone and then im forcing them to have sex and he would be so angry at this other him #like it would be his first actual hatefuck and he would literally hurt him and be too rough and not stop even when told to <- and then they #will start shoving each other and bristling then throwing punches and then wrestling and spitting thorny words at each other because kiryu #literally doesnt like himself and he can ignore it most days but its impossible when faced with ... yourself

[luveline]

Bombshell reader is my queen. What would happen if she like got hold hostage or something? She’s usually so confident, I’m sure going thru that would rough her up. Would Spencer take up the more ‘active’ role and take care of her

tysm for requesting ♡ fem, 1k

Spencer doesn't know if you're aiming for him when you come out but he grabs you as soon as he can get his hands on you. You were running hard enough to wind him, breathless yourself as you gasp into his shoulder. He can't feel you right wearing the FBI vest, desperate to take it off. 

You won't let him go. 

It must've been bad inside to panic you like this. "Are you okay?" he asks, forcing you away to check you over. "Do you need medical?" He's mildly hysterical.

"No," you say, eyes closed, shaking your head until he lets you back into his arms. "I'm fine." 

"You don't sound fine–" 

"Spencer, I'm fine." 

Spencer can't remember the last time you called him Spencer. He's used to Spence, babe, baby, handsome. He's even used to your hand on his elbow to say hello without speaking. So no matter what you say, he knows you're not fine. 

Spencer leads you over to the back of an ambulance, where you glare at him. You've definitely never done that before. 

"I don't need medical–" 

"You have to get checked out." He's definitely never spoken to you like that. Terse, his hands on your arms to stop you from getting up. "Non-negotiable." 

Your eyes shine with betrayal while the EMTs check your vitals. You have a bruise like whiplash against your neck that's tender to the touch, wincing as they prod it with their white gloved fingers. You're acting peculiarly but not outside of the realm of reasonable. 

A car backfires somewhere in the street and you flinch. "Spence," you say, looking up at him through your lashes, "can we go?" 

He waits for a nod. "Yeah, we can go." 

The issue is that you can't stand. You push up, you blink, and you sit down hard again, making a small pained sound from the back of your throat that Spencer cant abide by. "What's wrong with her?" he asks.

"Adrenaline." The EMT squeezes your shoulder affectionately. "You're alright, hun. You can sit here until you feel ready." 

She and her partner take a break in the front of the ambulance and tell you to shout if you need help. Spencer hesitates for a few seconds, looking down at you with a quick assessment of behaviour. He finds the things that are wrong with you —shaking hands, painful contusion against your throat, obvious emotional distress, weak legs— and he runs through options on how he's going to help you. 

Spencer takes your hands into his, just a little smaller, less skinny, and way softer. He doesn't know whether he can truly smell your hand cream or if he knows the scent from the hundreds of times watching your routine. You take it from the pocket in your purse, squeeze the smallest bit from the tub, and rub it in slow circles around your palms. It calms you in your rare wounded moments, and Spencer imitates that now. He draws gentle circles into your skin, the tremble ever so slightly quelled. 

"Is it bad?" he asks you, transferring both of your hands into one. Freed, he trails the knuckles of his left hand parallel to your wicked bruise. 

"It hurts." Your eyes are glassy, your lips in a downturn that turns his heart. "Hurt my ego." 

"He got a cheap shot," Spencer says sympathetically, dipping forward to kiss your jaw just above the bruise. You go still. He worries it was the wrong thing to do, but you crane your head forward into his chest.

Your tired sigh is like a rake.

"It's okay. It's okay." He takes your hand again. "We'll ice it at the hotel. With arnica, it'll be gone in a week."

"I was really scared," you murmur. 

Sitting as you are in the back of the ambulance, he doesn't have to bend much to press your joined hands to his chest. Eyes shut, that close to one another, Spencer swears he can hear your rapid heart. 

"But you made it out. You're always going to make it out, because we have a great team and you're good at what you do. You're strong. Smart. And you're brave, because you got scared and you kept going anyway. You saved someone just now." 

You push him away without malice, your perfect eyebrows pinched up at the starts. "I thought maybe this time I wouldn't make it out. Not like me, huh?" 

Spencer sits next to you in the ambulance, sliding his fingers into yours with more confidence than he feels. "That's easily explainable. Do you know what working memory is?" 

Your stress melds fond. "No." 

"Working memory is one of the brain's systems necessary for thought and function. It's important for everything. And when you're under immense pressure, the strength of your working memory depletes– being in a high stakes situation like that, it's natural to choke. It doesn't mean you underperformed. It doesn't mean you let anyone down." 

"I never said I let someone down." 

"I worried you were thinking about it." 

"I was." Your glassy eyes have clarified. Spencer lets out a breath of relief as you raise your hand to his cheek, stroking it briefly with the back of your fingers. "I'm glad you think that, but I doubt Hotch will say the same thing." 

"Hotch will tell you well done and make you take mandatory leave for a week. We should regroup with the others." Spencer nudges you in the arm. "I'll write your paperwork if you tell me what to say." 

You drop your face into his shoulder. "I'm recovering from a traumatic event. Can't you do the muscle work?" 

"Y/N!" Hotch calls, a phone glued to his ear. "Well done. Nothing else tonight." You smile. "You can do the paperwork when you get back next week." 

"Ugh." 

"Told you. Well done, mandatory leave," Spencer says. 

"Excessive," you mutter into his arm. It takes you a few seconds to warm up, and when you do it's like groundhog day, sunshine filtering through the chill, "Thanks, handsome. For everything." 

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader

[hana-no-seiiki]

cat villain reader my beloved. I'm so obsessed with it already. Please tell us more.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA THEY ASKED FOR IT SO YOU CANT BLAME ME NOW F-

@sophiethewitch1 hi here’s your daily schizophrenic voice giving you even more mental illness

another short one cause im still lazy asf

I feel like a broken record just playing different flavors of the same oc/reader on my blog with the batfam i swear

tim is the only batfam member who figured out your identity prior to your own snooping

mostly because bruce’s identity was already aired out to your by selina and damian being his blood born son + appearing out of nowhere was a given.

as such it provided a lot of interesting scenarios

such as that one week where you were extremely active in your heists. like more so than the usual which was already a lot.

of course, you always tried to keep a sense of mystery as your cat villain self so asking you as robin wouldn’t have worked

so tim decided to approach you in class ( you were his senior or maybe even a young, fresh out of uni prof) and ask you why you seemed so…different or frantic lately

“oh. am i?” tim narrowed his eyes. it was so you to answer with another question, even as a civilian.

“sorry, i’m just really excited about this new limited edition robin figure of the new guy in the suit and—“

you proceeded to go on a ramble about your headcannons of the dude, saying how different and/or similar he was to robins of the past and ofc how much you admired him

this leads to his eventual downward spiral into depravation and horny

oh and unrelated to the boys, my headcannons for reader’s powers are as follows (mostly inspired from cat related cartoon characters)

invisibility/teleportation (from kitty chesire)

and cataclysm (from chat noir)

okay back to the boys

you and jason definitely had the biggest enemies to lovers arc out of everyone

like next to dick and damian, jason and you definitely hated each other’s guts

at that time you were dating dick and wanted him to stay as robin. pretty much in denial and anger, which led to you lashing out on jason.

at that time you still had hope for batman’s parenting skills and wanted jason to not take the opportunity he was given for granted

eventually you two found a lot in common and after a lot of deliberating and losing your mind with thoughts of “what ifs” and “but what about”s you broke it off with dick to pursue him

only to find out that jason was killed

people that knew you say you moved on pretty quickly. as if he was no more than a passing thought in your pretty little head.

but people like selina knew that out of everyone on this planet, the incident broke you the most

turning you into this near-empty husk, an imitation of what you were like

only filled with fear and anxiety

you would hurt people more, be more reckless

and boy do these men like playing savior to the fallen like you.

EXTRA:

i absolutely believe that as soon as you found out red hood was jason you two boned. like literally on whatever street/alleyway/battle you guys were in

emotions were high

and you two definitely cried the whole time im not sorry-

also you two always quote pride and prejudice lines at eachother

went from rabid dog that bit you several times to your goodest boy fr fr

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere imagine #yandere core #yandere batfam #yandere batfam x reader #jason todd #jason todd x reader #batfam #yandere jason todd x reader #yandere jason todd #yandere tim drake #tim drake #dick grayson #yandere tim drake x reader #tim drake x reader #yandere dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x reader #tw yandere

[rowretro]

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬

An enha reactions

Warnings: None I think other than kissing, not proof read saur do tell me if i do need to warn abt anyth

HEESEUNG:

The male had spent the whole day streaming and gaming while you were patiently waiting for him to finally notice you and shower you in love. And exactly how long did your patience last?... luckily for you, Heeseung had just ended his stream, leaving his PC to find you. There you were sitting on the sofa munching on marshmallows...

"Oh darling~ you waited for me?" Heeseung asked with a smile as he leaned in to kiss your cheek. However, instead of letting him, you moved well away from his lips, making him fall forward, and kiss the butt-warmed seat on the sofa instead. "Oh darling, you only just noticed that you r dear girlfriend had waited a whole 5 hours while you gamed and replied to all those girls's comments?! wAh hEEsEunG oPpAr sO hANDsOme~ Oh hEE bE mInE, hEESeUng nOtICe mEEEE" you poutily imitated as Heeseung snickerred.

"God you're so fucking cute baby~" He simply said as you frowned at him. He simply pulled you into his embrace, despite your protests, his lips now pressed against your lips, as he kissed you passionately, pulling away moments later, having you yearn for his soft lips again. "I'm sorry for not paying you enough attention, but I'm all yours now mkay baby?" Heeseung smiled, as he kissed you yet again.

JAY:

It's midnight, and you're alone, waiting on the sofa, yet again. He said he'll finish at 6, he promised you that he will have time for you, but he's still not home. You couldn't be mad at him, if anything, being a CEO is pretty hard, especially after the recent scandal in his company. Jay had a lot of cleaning up to do, even though he didn't cause the mess in the first place.

These recent days, Jay hasn't paid any attention to you, he's become pretty cold and distant, and it's really upsetting you. Your thoughts were interrupted by the front door opening. In walked an exhausted Jay, he put down his items, slipped of his shoes, and hugged you. "You didnt have to wait all night- " Jay said as he leaned in to kiss you, but you pulled away before his lips even landed on yours.

"I did have to- you said you will be here at 6 but its way past the time... Jay- you never have time for me- you know- if you have any problems at work I can help you right, even if I cant- at least tell me, i can listen... you've become so cold these recent days its really upsetting..." You finally blurted as Jay sighed and kissed you slightly with force. "first, dont ever dodge my kisses baby, you know my lips too well to make a ballsy move... and second... i've just been a little to busy dealing with the aftermath of the scandal babe, i swear in a week or so, everything will be back to normal ok?" jay reassured as you kissed yet again.

JAKE:

There was no reason why, this boy is a simp, a lover boy, he's head over heels for you and is there at your every call.  But you, being the oh-so-perfect girlfriend you are, just had to try this prank on him. You were expecting him to be a big pouty baby, get all sulky or be extra clingy, but you also had a feeling... he might surprise you.

The moment he got home from practice, he greeted you with a big hug and a loving kiss, to which you pulled away from him. "wah- I- babe wait let me kiss you-" Jake cluelessly said as he tried to kiss you again, too bad you dodged it again, just the realization hit him, in the mirror he saw your little smirk and boy was you messing with the wrong person.

His arms wrapped tightly around your waist as he trailed open mouth kisses up your shoulder, stopping by your lips. He turned you around and kissed you messily, taking you by shock, he lifted you off the ground and carried you to the sofa. "Would you dodge my kisses again princess?" Jake asked as he tilted his head a little. "If dodging your kisses gets me that  then yes hell yes!" You smiled as Jake kissed you softly, seeing how cute you are.

SUNGHOON:

Sunghoon isnt always a PDA kind of guy, but he's still extremely sweet. There are times he gets very clingy, and those are times that you should cherrish. You were sitting on the sofa scrolling through your phone, when you felt Sunghoon sit right beside you. He rested his chin on your shoulder and wrapped his arms around your waist, making you blush. "What are you up to?" he asked, staring up at your eyes,  as your heart flutterred at the action. Boy he was making it so hard for you to do the prank.

"Just chillin-" you said as Sunghoon leaned in for a kiss, to which you ducked, as he froze "Did you just..." Sunghoon trailed off as he narrowed his eyes at you, within seconds he had your arms pinned above your head "Try dodging this." He said as he continuously kissed you on your lips, bruising them a little, and trailing wet kisses down your chest. "You think your little pranks will work on me baby? you're messin with the pro here missy." Sunghoon warned as he left you gasping for air.

Sunoo

You wouldn't dare do something so stupid without a reason. I mean why would you?! he's Sunoo, he'd always kisses you anytime anywhere, the man showers you with love, he spoils you rotten. However, these recent days Sunoo has been giving you extra attitude, he has become pretty rude and EXTREMELY sassy. It's just getting on your fucking nerves, what happened to "I love you y/n" or those cute, cheesy compliments and texts he spams you with. You had it with his chaos... So you decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.

He came back from work a little earlier than usual, coming home thinking he would receive a sweet, loving kiss from his girlfriend... But instead he came back to nothing.  A little confused, he frowned and called out for you when he did find you, he leaned in to kiss you, but was taken aback when you pulled away, going to the other side of the bed to fold some clothes.  "What?" you plainly replied to which he scoffed, he didn't know what you're game was but there's no way you're giving HIM any attitude.

"Oh nothing-" Sunoo smiled, simply pulling out your favourite snack hoping that you'll crack. "One kiss is all it takes sweetie..." Sunoo simply said as You narrowed your eyes at him "If you want a kiss why don'tchu come get it yourself?" you asked as you started running, but to your dismay he knew your game, catching you in the doorframe, his arm tightly wrapped around your waist as he leaned down to kiss you rather roughly. After a little he pulled away and walked off  as if nothing happened.

Jungwon

There was no specific reason why you decided to prank him... well- except for that time he had ruined your favourite Spotify playlist with your favourite songs being replaced by Justin Bieber songs... Ok he's a menace, so you had to get him back, take something he loves and make it torment him for the rest of his life...

It was simple, you're something or well someone he loves, and you can also be annoying. Jungwon had just taken a long shower, slipping into the seat beside you. You were focused on the TV, rewatching modern family. Jungwon rested his head on your shoulder, playing with your hand noticing that you seem a little distant. The male leaned in to kiss you, though his cologne is so alluring, and you want nothing more than to be in his embrace, you had to fight your own urges.  

As he leaned into kiss you, you pulled away, going to the far end of the sofa. Jungwon frowned, clearly not liking your ignorance. He yet again tried to kiss you, getting in the way of your view, but you dodged it again, your focus solely on the TV. Jungwon simply carried you, your legs straddling his waist as you immediately snuggled into his chest. Jungwon placed a little kiss on your forehead, snuggling you close to him. he's a little menace... but he's your menace.

Niki

Riki was overly annoying at times, purposely testing your patience, teasing you for your height stealing your snacks. Moving in with him was rough, but you tried to be as calm as you can. So what are you going to lash out at him? yell at him? argue? no... you were going to speak to him in his language. no mater how much he teases you, you can't deny that you love those things...

You had been acting a little cold the whole day, though he didn't take it, constantly towering over you, trapping you between himself and whatever surface you were near, just to ask you a question. As you were sitting on your bed, doing something on your laptop, Riki sat down beside you, wrapping his arms around your waist lovingly.

He leaned down to kiss your forehead, only for you to pull away and sit on the other end of the bed. "Is this one of those tik tok pranks or are you mad?" Riki asked, as he sat beside you yet again. "what?" you asked not even looking his way. "Whatever it's not gonna stop me" Riki smirked, placing the laptop elsewhere, pinning you down and showering you with kisses, trapping you with his body. "You going to avoid my kisses from now?" Riki asked as you caught your breath.

"Well if avoiding one kiss gets me infinity then yes I will" You smiled as riki placed a soft peck on your lips, snuggling you.

too long?

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen imagine #enhypen x reader #enhypen reaction #enhypen reactions #yang jungwon #nishimura riki #park sunghoon #park jongseong #engene #kim sunoo #lee heeseung #sim jaeyun #ni ki #sunghoon #sunoo #jungwon #heeseung #jake #jay

[its-the-ratdawg]

Hannibal can be very subtle when he sniffs people (as he does). like in the scene where he smells Bella's perfume you cant tell he even did it aside from the emphasis of the camera and his comment abt her perfume. but in the "did you just smell me" scene he was so FUCKING obvious, maybe because no one else was watching him with Will's back turned, but he absolutely could have gotten in an adequate huff without Will noticing if he wanted to. but no he had to perform his best imitation of a cartoon character thats just caught the aroma of an unattended pie on a windowsill

#hannibal lecter #will graham #hannigram #what is WRONG with him #nbc hannibal

[rinkkuma]

୨୧ HAUNTED HOUSES

ft. isagi yoichi, sae itoshi, & michael kaiser

tags. a bit of cussing, gn!reader, kaiser being a little shit as always / author's note. HI GUYS im back on my writing grind Kinda maybe hopefully. i also cant believe its almost halloween already… anyways! i hope you guys like this small piece while i try to ease my way back into writing <3

ISAGI is the sweetest ever. you two stand side by side while he wraps his arm around your shoulder, holding you close. does not matter if you're scared or not, just wants to keep you close just in case. they're actors yoichi puts on a brave face and honestly is pretty good at it until, a clown jumps in front of him out of no where. you try so hard to not laugh, but it ends up coming out. “don't laugh at me!” yoichi mumbles as he adjusts his shirt, acting like nothing had happened. “i'm not!” as you gently punch his arm and lean into his warmth.

SAE doesn't know how he got here. is he scared? you honestly cannot tell because of his imitating, but oh so pretty resting face. in reality, he does not give a flying fuck about the actors. what he is really wondering is why people pay to get scared like? but hey, if you want to he'll go along with it. he stays behind you to make sure none of the actors scare you from behind, which he almost punches one because of one really good actor (emphasis on the really good he swears) scaring him. what really gets him screaming, running, crying is a section where the actors have fake chainsaws and start chasing you two. well, at least you got to see one thing that phases him.

KAISER laughs at you the whole fucking time. some of the actors even start feeling bad about scaring you because of how much of a ruckus he's making. “your scream is kinda cute sorry, baby.” he says as he's laughing up another storm. “oh you're so sleeping on the couch tonight.” you mumble. “you wouldn't dare.” he gasps as he deadpans you. “i would.” “you wouldn't.” “i would.” this keeps going until you two finally reach the end of the haunted house, completely forgetting that people were scaring you.

#blue lock x reader #isagi x reader #isagi yoichi x reader #isagi yoichi #sae x reader #sae itoshi x reader #sae itoshi #kaiser x reader #michael kaiser x reader #michael kaiser #blue lock #blue lock fluff

[bluewhitehues]

I hate you not ♡

Choi Seungchol × f. reader

/Arranged marriage/ forced marriage /

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Genre: Angst,fluff,sort of enemies to lovers.

Summary:Married against their will, seungcheol and y/n end up hating each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part1 | Part 2

It was past 9 pm and you still weren't home. Seungcheol was started to get worried and he couldn't even call or text to ask you. You despise each other or atleast you both tried to.

He is out in the garden of your house strolling there ..well it's an excuse, he's just waiting for you. The guard opens the gate and then he sees you getting out of a car, leaning down to the window and smiling at the person inside. He looks handsome seungcheol notices. It makes him clench his jaw unknowingly.

When you get inside and notice him standing there you pass by him,completely ignoring him.

As soon as you enter the house,he follows closing the door behind him.

"who was he?" He asks unable to control his curiosity .

You huff , "Relax ..I'm not cheating on "you" in our nonexistent relationship."

" I didnt say anything like that,I just asked a question. Cant you ever just answer what is asked?

"Why? who are you to question me and do I have to answer you?" ..you huffed angrily trying not to raise your voice ..you just wanted to eat finally and go to sleep after the exhausting long day but he had to ruin it.Ofcourse.

Listening to you he was barely controlling his anger, he just asked a question why couldn't you just answer it.

"Yes we are still married we live in the same house,I'm still your husband i think i should kno-"

You cut him off with a laugh .."funny ,learn to act like a husband first then go around saying 'we're married I'm your HuSbAnd' " You imitate what he said.

"Are you doing all this just because you don't want to tell me who tf he was?"He says glaring at you angrily.

You scowl at him"You disgust me and he is a friend of mine and a very nice human being who dropped me off because it's late, unlike you who treats people like shit." "And the next time you talk to me like this I'll break your fkin face." You say through your gritted teeth,pointing a finger at him, slamming the door of your bedroom at his face.

"I don't treat all the people like shit it's just you"He shouts back pettily trying to have the last word.

But when he hears your sobs after a few minutes when he was passing by your room to go to the kitchen,he feels bad ..his heart stung ..he regrets whatever he said.

You hated each other's guts but he always tried not to take it too far ...because you were wronged just as much he was ...you both were put together in this against your wills ,you never wanted it .. He doesn't like to admit it but he has been getting soft for you,whenever he saw you smile or laugh,he found himself smiling unknowingly. And when you were being sweet to him, took efforts for him, made food for him,smiled at him, he forgot that he didn't want this marriage,he couldn't help himself when you were made to be loved and adored ..he started to like you and when he realised that ,him being him the most stubborn idiot, in his own spite he didn't want to prove his parents decision right and be happy in this marriage so he did what he thought would be the solution and pushed you away.

He shouldn't have gotten angry at you as soon as you got home ..you locked yourself in the room ,didn't even eat dinner. He leaves the bowl back in it's place, he can't get himself to eat after making you cry.

He decides it's better to stay away from you and give you space as much as possible..you wouldn't want to see him anyway.

In your room you are crying with your face down in the pillow lying on the bed.

You are so exhausted with all this, you just want your own peace and you can't even have that because of him ...why does he have to talk to you when you purposely stay away from him.

A partner is supposed to be your home, your comfort but all you've gotten in this 3 months is this hell.

In a world where you want to do nothing but hide in your Lovers arm at the end of the day and forget all the worries, you got more worries instead with the form of your husband. You tried your best to give this a chance,you were good to him,you took efforts but him..he never cared saying "you don't have to pretend to be a good wife, we both know we didn't want this so stop all this bullshit ..it disgusts me "

That was the first day you cried after the marriage..all your hopes of "No he can change later, may be he will open up to me he's not that bad of a person is he?" All that crushed down..you felt like a fool for being nice with him and trying to make it work ..so since that day you treated him like exactly how you should have.

There's nothing much to happiness in your life ..and the remaining bits of it, which your friends give you, you lose it all as soon as he behaves rudely with you that is almost everytime he talks to you.

Seungcheol is in his room trying to sleep but he can't because he keeps seeing your crying face since he heard you crying.. he thinks about it, about how you were the first one who took efforts to make this so called marriage of yours work, when it should have been him..atleast he should have treated you nicely like you deserved...but he just kept fuvking up and it got worse..to the point he thinks he made you cold took the warmth away from your eyes, he thinks about apolozing to you atleast about today but wonders if he even deserves to be forgiven by you..he feels awful and guilty to say the least.

The next day he decides to talk to you, goes to knock on the door of your bedroom in the morning and chickens out when he hears your footsteps..he goes straight to kitchen.

And before he has any chance to say anything to you, you go straight to main door already leaving for your work.

In the evening he goes early from work, setting up the take out he brought for both of you ..he goes to freshen up and waits for you ..he is sitting on the couch when you arrive...you were going straight for your room when he calls you.."Y/n wait"

You close your eyes trying to compose yourself ..."I'm so done with you seungcheol choose your words very wisely" You say very calmly, your back still facing him.

"I know I- can we talk please? I'm not going to argue I promise"

You sigh turning to face him, "ok..what is it?"

"I'm sorry ..for yesterday " there's a surprised look on your face because you never expected him to even know those words.

When you don't say anything he continues . "And for everyday till now" He says looking at you with a weird look in his eyes which you have never seen .

"What are you doing? Do you want anything ? Why are you saying this?" You ask looking at him in disbelief as if he told you the worst joke ever.

He shakes his head looking at you, "I don't have any other intention behind this ..I'm genuinely sorry ...I didn't mean to treat you like this ...I just i was angry with my parents ..and I took it out on you ...and I'm so sorry for that ..you didn't deserve it." .."I want to solve this ..whatever happened till now."

"I'm finding it very hard to believe all this, trust me I'm trying to ..but you've never talked to me like this..this nicely" You say still looking at him as if he's onto something may be he's pranking you but then his rude boring ass doesn't seem to even know fun.

He closes his eyes with a sigh,then he says "I know shit-..you know what don't forgive me yet I don't think I deserve it ..just I won't ask anything else from you but I want us to be atleast civil with each other and again I know it was all me, you were nice to me but please ..can we start fresh? Forget that we are married and all. We don't know anything about each other ..can we start with being friends?" He asks looking at you nervously.

You tilt your head giving him a small smile,"I tried to do exactly that seungcheol..you didn't want it ...you forgot that I was forced into this too but you didn't care..atleast I took the courage to mend this, I tried and you called it bullshit,pretending and what not ..told me to not do any of it, that it disgusts you...you made me feel like a complete fool for trying to save our marriage." You got teary eyed while saying all that and he again curses himself for being such a fcking idiot

"No it wasn't your fault I'm the fool not you..I'm the biggest idiot to ever exist.I was never angry at you.. it was my parents. I just couldn't deal with this situation properly ..but let me change that ..I'm exhausted too -"

You cut him off, "what changed? I mean I'm glad and all that you came to this realisation..but why?"

He's at loss of words, he's not sure if should say it when he just asked you to be friends .."I-uh ..do I have to?" He looks at you pleadingly as if saying 'don't make me say it please. '

"If you want me to actually believe you ..then yes." You shrug pressing your lips in a thin line. "Wait fuck is it because you saw seokmin dropping me off yesterday? What are you jealous or something? " You ask him your eyes comically widened,your nose scrunched in a light scowl.

His own eyes are wide as well"Noo it's not that" He says.

"Then?" You ask again.

His eyes soften somehow, "You didn't eat dinner yesterday,also you didn't eat breakfast today..I- I realised that my behavior affects you and I shouldn't make you go through all that ..I know I didn't deserve to be in a forced marriage but I knew that you didn't either ..it's not your fault and I made your life even more miserable ..shit now that I'm saying all this I'm so fcking sorry for being such an asshole... I'm not a bad person i swear you can ask anyone it's just ..I was blinded by my own rage my own pain that I couldn't see yours .."

He doesn't mention it but you know he might have heard you crying and then felt guilty may be. But you hope it's not just that and he genuinely wants to start fresh.

"I thought you'd never figure that out, but thank you I guess ..and you were right about that ..I can't forgive you that easily I hope you know that."

He nods at you," yes ..so- friends?" He asks awkwardly stretching his hand towards you.

You look at his hand and back at his face, giving him a crooked teasing smile. "Yeah..I'll think about it." And you turn towards your own room smiling to yourself.

He brings back his hand pushing it through his long black hair, turning around with his back towards your room, trying to stifle his own smile as he shakes his head. Ofcourse it's you after all savage as always.

"Also-" he turns to face you when You peek from the door of your room "I think you'll have to try a little harder Mr. Choi" You say narrowing your eyes,scrunching your nose a little.

He throws his both hands up saying "On it. I brought dinner for you please eat it with me?"

You go inside closing your door shut, shouting, "OKAYY". You smile to yourself because seeing this side of him is something you never thought you'll witness..and he's been looking at you all softly today since you stepped in..though you don't know that it isn't the first time. You still can't seem to wrap your head around it. Choi seungcheol finally realised that he's been an asshole and is finally treating you nicely. Unbelievable.

Masterlist

A/N: I hope you enjoy it. Will post in parts because it always gets so long :') I promise I'll try my best to post the other half in only one update😭

#scoups x reader #seungcheol x reader #seventeen x reader #seungcheol fluff #seungcheol angst #svt scoups #seventeen imagines #seventeen angst #seventeen #seventeen fanfic #seventeenimagines #svt x reader #svt fluff #fanfic #choi seungcheol #seventeen seungcheol #svt angst #svt imagines #svt dokyeom #svt kim mingyu #svt vernon #svt wonwoo #svt woozi #svt hoshi #svt jun #svt minghao #svt seungkwan #svt dino

[thegoldencontracts]

Too Late!

You and Azul are texting each other one day when he accidentally sends you some more honest texts.

Note/Warnings: Azul/Reader, fluff with a smidgen of angst (specifically Azul insecurities, he gets comforted tho)

You loved Azul. A lot. You'd been dating him for quite a while now, after all. But you couldn't deny that it felt like he was a bit- formal with you, to say the least. Sometimes, it felt like he was playing the role of a perfect boyfriend in a Romance Novel's screen adaptation. How did he really feel? Was he happy to be somewhere, or was he just playing along so that the other students in his dorm could see how attractive and understanding he was while they seethed in envy at the fact that they were single and he wasn't?

Which was why when Azul slipped up one day when you were texting, you were very, very happy about it.

It was a boring evening, like always. You were texting Azul, complaining about your homework while lounging in your bed like always. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Zuzuuu <3: You know, if you'd like, I'd be happy to assist with your homework. It'll even be on the house, just for you.

Me: cant believe im dating a capitalist mf /lh

Me: really tho, tysmmm for helping <3 I don't deserve u bbg...

And then, something completely out of the ordinary happened.

Zuzuuu <3: how could you say that you're literally so perfect? I love you so much I keep doodling you bc you're so. Pretty. I simp so hard for you plz never say that again <3

At first, you wondered if Floyd wrote the text as a joke. It was pretty in character for him, after all. But that didn't make sense. This wasn't Floyd's way of texting, nor did it even attempt to imitate Azul's. When Floyd was in the mood to prank someone, he put in the effort to make it good.

Whatever. You took a screenshot of the message so you could treasure it forever. And lucky you, because right after you did, the message was deleted.

Zuzuuu <3: Please don't say such things about yourself, even for comedic purposes.

He was not being slick with that. You sent a text in response, giggling all the while.

Zuzuuu <3: Regardless, would you like to come over later today?

Me: Real slick hehe... Plz show me ur doodles of me they probably look so good bc you're good at art just like everything else somehow

After a while, Azul replied.

Zuzuuu <3: I don't know what you're referring to. Regardless, would you like to come over?

As much as you wanted to press, you decided not to. Too much pressing would just make Azul clam up more. You'd just have to get him in person, where it'd be harder for him to run away when you showed him the screenshot.

Me: Sureee! Heading over right now

And so, you set out for Octavinelle, evidence in hand. You were going to make him admit he sent that text.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time you got to Azul's room, you had everything planned out. He wasn't usually so candid with you, and he was clearly ashamed of it when he was. You were going to figure out why.

You knocked on the door, and Azul opened it, letting you in.

"Come in," he said, tone even more formal than usual, by some miracle.

"Thanks," you said, taking a seat.

"So, about that text-"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Azul said, quick to cut you off.

"So quick to interrupt, Azul!" You said with a mock-pout, before grinning as you pulled up the screenshot on your phone. "But I think you do."

First, Azul's mouth hung open in shock. Then, his whole face turned red, lip quivering as a high-pitched whine left his mouth. Then, he moved to snatch the phone from your hands.

You narrowly dodged, and you couldn't resist sticking out your tongue at him.

"Too slow!" You laughed as he tried to grab the phone from you again, only to fail even more without the element of surprise on his side, because for all of Azul's many strengths, speed wasn't one of them.

"Delete that at once!" He shrieked, voice cracking in the middle.

He kept trying to grab it for a while, before finally giving up.

"Fine, fine," he grumbled, pouting like a kid. Cute. "You win. Are you satisfied now?"

"Very," you said, "because I get to see you. Your actual thoughts. Not just the ultra-filtered version."

Azul scoffed at that, seemingly in disbelief, though you saw the way he stifled a smile.

"Don't flatter me," he said. "My 'true thoughts' are not something you'd want to see in the slightest. Merely a more pathetic, messy version of what I already tell you."

"And that's precisely why I want to hear it," she said. "You sound so perfect all the time that I wonder whether you're really being honest with me, you know. It's just so refreshing to see you be gushy and candid about things. And pretty cute."

"How odd," he said, before turning to you with a face more genuine. "Thank you. For what little it's worth, I'll try to be a tad more honest with you. I can't promise anything, though."

You smiled.

"That's all I ask."

And really, truly, that was enough.

Bonus:

"So, how'd you learn so much internet lingo? Never took you for that kinda guy."

"I'm in the board games club with Idia Shroud. What did you expect?"

#azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul x reader #azul x you #azul Ashengrotto x you #hurt/comfort #twst x reader #aaah i love the mafia octoboy sm <3

[gubsbuubs]

Wanna come over tonight?

(18+nsfw)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~ 2k

Warnings/Tags: smut, Pet names, fuck buddies, creampie, slightly Dom Spence.

Request: Can you write something with the song called If you think I’m pretty by Artemas? That part that goes “I know that you’re shitty and you’re bad for me but I cant stop thinking about it”

Summary: Spencer and Y/N navigate a complex relationship as occasional “fuck buddies,” irresistibly drawn to each other despite the acknowledgment of their mismatch. When Y/N plans a date with someone new, Spencer’s jealousy surfaces, prompting him to encourage her to cancel. As she’s on the phone with her date Spencer decides to tease her and make her job harder.

My requests are open!

English is not my first language- barely proof read this. 🍒

I had been completely preoccupied looking for a particular file pertaining to a 1999 murder case in Pennsylvania when he made his entrance. I stood in the middle of the file room, lost in thought, staring at shelves full of carefully arranged archive boxes.

I only became aware of his presence when his distinct scent reached my nose, immediately followed by the warmth of his arms enveloping me and his lips gently grazing beneath my ear. I could recognize this embrace anywhere, so there was no need to turn around.

“Hi sweatheart" His voice resonated in my ear as I surrendered to the embrace, letting myself be engulfed by his comforting presence.

“Hi Spencer,” I whispered, a smile forming on my lips.

Turning to face him, he shifted his hands to my waist, pressing me against the archive shelves in the dimly lit file room.

"So..." he began, a mischievous twinkle danced in his eyes, the tone of his voice carrying a flirtatious hint.

"I heard you got a little date tonight," although his voice carried a touch of jealousy his lips sported a loose smile, as if he found the situation amusing.

Meeting his gaze, I lightly raised an eyebrow, inviting him to continue. "What's on your mind, Spencer?"

"Oh, really? And who might have been spreading such rumors?" I teased, leaning in closer to him, his mischievous twinkle growing brighter as he leaned in as well.

"Let's just say I have my sources," his smirk widened “So, do you?".

I couldn't help but giggle, "Maybe." I held a mischievous expression.

"Maybe." I replied once again, his gaze trailed down to my lips, a subtle yet deliberate movement.

His eyes locked onto mine, and the corner of his mouth lifted in response, "Didn't you already go on a date with Anderson?"

My hand gracefully found its place on his chest, my fingers tracing slight patterns over the crisp white fabric of his shirt.

"And he's worth a second date?" He furrowed his brows in confusion as he awaited my response.

"Maybe," he mockingly replied as he tried to imitate my voice.

"Are you jealous, Reid?"

I watched his expression change—a mix of surprise and smugness. His gaze lingered on mine for a moment before he finally spoke.

I chuckled softly at his playful response, my eyes still locked with his as he brushed a strand of hair away from my face.

"I will not confirm it or deny it"

"Oh, so it is true."

I leaned in even closer to match his proximity, “You sound jealous, Spencer."

His head found refuge in my neck as he chuckled, obviously amused by my comment.

"Stop talking...' A smile played on my lips as he reached for my hand, delicately placing a small, tender kiss on it.

"I don't need to be jealous, Y/N." I could feel the sly grin planted on his lips. "After all, you always find your way back to my bed."

He left a small kiss on my pulse before slowly traveling up to below my earlobe, where he whispered, "Not just my bed, but my car…" The vibrations of his voice resonated against my skin. "This file room, my offi.."

I decided to interrupt him, husking him with my finger as he was about to finish speaking.

"What?" He held a defensive tone, "You know the truth; he can’t fuck you like I do." His lips brushing over mine sent a shiver down my spine, drawing me in with an undeniable sense of desire. As his words hung in the air, I felt the temptation building within me. I knew, deep down, what would happen if I gave in to him.

“Have you fucked him yet?” he asked in a low tone. I took a momentary pause as I contemplated my response. The intensity of his gaze made it clear that he was not just seeking information.

“Spencer… Grant is a great guy; he…”

“So that’s a no,” he laughed, interrupting me. His laughter had a hint of mockery, as if he knew the answer before I even spoke. I could feel his jealousy radiating off him, mixing with his desire for control.

"We need to let this go, Spence. I'm trying to find someone else; you should do the same." My hand gently met his cheek, caressing his face softly as he leaned into the tender touch.

“But I don’t want it,” he whined, pursing his lips into a pout.

“How did your date go? The one with that blonde from White Collar Crime? " my tone was sweet as I let my hands roam his hair..

“It was fine,” he muttered, his eyes avoiding mine.

“Just fine?”

"Yeah, it was good, but… as soon as her lips wrapped around my dick, I could only imagine you on your knees,” he said before placing a kiss on my neck again. I chuckled softly, my fingers continuing to weave through his hair.

“Spence, stop,” I gasped, my voice trembling as I tried to regain control.

He sighed "I just miss you," his voice filled with longing.

I felt his hips thrust into me, his hand leaving my hip to slowly raise my leg.

“Why?” he asked as the kisses on my neck grew messier and hungrier.

“This is not right,”

“You don’t mean that,” he whispered against my lips.

"We can't keep doing this," I finally managed to say. "You know this is wrong; we don’t work together.”

“Shut up,” he said, holding my chin as his eyes locked on mine. “I know that you’re shitty and you’re bad for me; you don’t need to keep reminding me of that,” he said as his lips met mine. He kissed me hard, his desperation evident in the way he clung to me. It was a toxic cycle we couldn't seem to break, despite knowing it was tearing us apart. “I just can’t stop thinking about it.” He whined.

As our kiss grew more urgent, his hips pressed against mine, a familiar ache building between us. With only the flimsy material of our clothes between us, I could feel his desire as he pressed into my covered core.

"Can you please come over tonight, baby?" he asked, his voice husky with need.

"Spence, I have plans,” I replied, trying to resist the pull of his desperation. But deep down, I knew it was only a matter of time before I gave in to him once again.

"Oh, come on, you’re not balling on me for Anderson,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Why? I can always come running back to your bed, right?" I chuckled in amusement. “I think you can wait until tomorrow.”

His hands proceeded to loosen my belt and slip down the zipper of my jeans, and the mere thought of his touch sent shivers down my spine. He captured my lips once again, his fingers now trailing behind my pants, brushing over my lace panties. I couldn't help but moan softly as his touch ignited a fire within me.

"Did you pick them for him?" he remarked, a hint of jealousy creeping into his voice as he playfully snapped the band of my panties against my skin.

I blushed at his comment, feeling a mix of excitement and guilt.

"It's a shame he won't get to see them." He laughed mischievously, his eyes gleaming with anticipation. "You're ruining them, getting them all wet," his words carrying a provocative edge as his middle finger came into contact with my slit. I felt a surge of pleasure shoot through my body.

"Maybe you should cancel your plans and reschedule? What do you say?" He suggested it with a sly smile as his finger breached my entrance and entered me. He pumped it in and out, skillfully teasing my sensitive walls. I couldn't resist the urge to give in to his suggestion.

"Fuck Spence," I said, falling forward, moaning into his chest as he slipped another finger in, his hand picking up speed.

With a mischievous smile, he got my phone from my back pocket and handed it to me. "Go ahead, sweetheart; let him know something came up." I took a deep breath, trying to keep my focus as I dialed Anderson's number.

The phone rang in my ear as Spencer removed his right hand from my cunt, letting it fall to my hips and pulling my clothes down. His hands then reached for his own belt, freeing himself.

I struggled to maintain my composure as I stepped out of my jeans. Anderson's voice echoed through the phone "Y/N, Hi!".

"Grant, hi!" I replied, trying to sound casual despite feeling Spencer´s cock brushing over my clit. I shot him a warning look as if to say, - not now.

"Do you need anything, or are you just so excited you couldn't wait to talk to me later?" Anderson asked, remaining oblivious on the other side of the line. His attempt at flirting was evident; he was completely unaware of the unfolding situation.

"I'm sorry, but I think I have to reschedule tonight," I quickly muttered, my voice strained.

"Is everything okay, Y/N?" Anderson asked, his voice tinged with concern.

I tried to keep my composure as Spencer slammed into me. "Spencer…" I gasped, unable to stop a moan from escaping my lips.

"Spencer?" Anderson asked in confusion. "Is he okay?"

Fortunately, he didn't realize what was happening and remained unaware. Spencer laughed slightly as he slammed into me again, attempting to make me break while I was still on the call with Anderson.

"Yeah, yeah, he's fine. Something came up; I'll have to reschedule. Is that okay?" I tried to speak, but my voice trembled with the effort.

"Sure, Y/N. No problem at all. Life happens, and I completely understand. Take your time and let me know when you're free," Anderson replied, his tone carrying a sweet and understanding demeanor.

"Thanks; I'll reach out; take care."

“He’s so sweet and understanding” Spencer laughed as I hang up the call.

"You´re such a jerk," I said, trying to contain my moans as he pounded into me with force.

His cock slid in and out of me with ease as he guided his hips towards my sensitive spot. The sounds of wetness filled the room as I gasped in pleasure. The feeling was overwhelming, I could feel every inch of him, the intensity building with each thrust. Spencer's hands gripped my waist tightly, his movements becoming more urgent. The connection between us was electric, a mix of desire and raw passion.

My mind was consumed by the intoxicating sensations, and my body surrendered to the waves of pleasure that washed over me. Spencer's deep, husky voice filled the air, his words laced with desire and a hint of dominance. "You liked that, didn’t you?" he whispered, his breath grazing my earlobe. Every nerve in my body tingled with excitement as I nodded, unable to form words.

"Having him listening as I shoved my dick in to you," I was a moaning mess of pleasure, unable to resist the overwhelming sensations that Spencer's words and actions were evoking within me.

"Maybe you shouldn't have hung up, and he could’ve listened as I make you cum on my cock" My mind raced and my body trembled with each thrust, surrendering to the pleasure that Spencer was delivering. The room was filled with our moans and the sound of skin slapping against skin

"Fuck Spence, I´m going to cum," I gasped, my voice barely a whisper as the intensity of the moment consumed me.

"Cum for me baby, common." Spencer's voice grew huskier, matching the increasing urgency in his movements. When I reached my peak and my walls thickened around him, I felt Spencer realease inside of me in a wave of ecstasy.

As he pulled away and relaxed against the shelving unit, we both stood there breathless, relishing in the aftermath. Our foreheads glistened with sweat, and our bodies continued to tremble with pleasure.

"So, since you don't have plans anymore, wanna come over tonight?" He asked laughing sarcastically.

#spencer reid smut #criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #mgg x reader #mgg fanfiction #mgg smut #mgg x y/n #spencer reid fanfiction #mgg #criminal minds smut #spencer reid x fem!reader smut #dom spencer reid #Spotify #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x you #dr spencer reid #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fic

[consistencynevermether]

Ice cold: Astarion x reader

content: ascended Astarion x gn tav, angst, tav is goin through it in this one yall, i give karlach a more hopeful ending in the background bc i just want her to be happy, karlach and tav besties agenda, sfw, cannon typical violence

summary: after breaking it off with ascended Astarion, you meet again at a winter ball

word count: 6k (apparently i cant shut up about this man)

a/n: man i gotta write more happy Astarion content fr i keep putting this man in situations.

How many years had it been since you’d seen Astarion? 3? 5? Maybe more? You try to remember what your last moments with him were like before you decided to break things off. It was definitely after he ascended, but was it before you had gotten rid of the tadpole, or after? Honestly, after a while things had started to blur together really. After so many years, only the painful parts remained clear in your memory. How you, with tears in your eyes, had told him you couldn’t do this anymore. And the look of condescending and uncaring as he stared back. It had shattered you into a million pieces to end things with Astarion, but it would have hurt even more if you had stayed. Whoever he had become after he ascended, it wasn’t your astarion, not really.

Why were you reminiscing about your lost love? Well because after all these years apart, he was now standing about 5 feet away from you. Gods above how did you get yourself in this situation?

Let’s start a few years back after Astarion had left to be the new lord of Baldur’s Gate and you had stayed, shattered. Having to pick up the broken pieces of what you once were, having to figure out who you would be without him. You probably should have taken some time alone, now that you think about it. Processed your emotions, talked to a professional, properly mourned what you had lost before continuing on.

Of course, you had done the opposite and instead had decided to travel with Karlach and Wyll to Avernus. Going to hell is probably not the best way to cope with a breakup, but that was the only option anyone could think of to try and save Karlach from the fate of the engine in her chest. And after what had happened to Astarion you just-

You just couldn’t 

You couldn’t lose someone else, if you did, you felt like you would have been shattered past the point of repair. You couldn’t take losing one of your only friends right after losing your love. So you gathered up the broken pieces of yourself and headed straight into the hells. 

You were down there for a few years probably. 

Maybe? 

Honestly, you didn’t remember. Time became sluggish and foggy after Astarion had left because it kept marching forward, away from your time together with him.

Yet in the end, Karlach had gotten her engine fixed and all 3 of you had climbed out of hell. A few more burn marks and scars, but nothing more than that had changed. Physically at least.

You had somehow managed to put your broken pieces back together, but you weren’t the same as before. You didn’t feel complete, more like a jumble of razor-sharp shards being forcefully welded together trying to imitate what you once were. But now you were jagged, and cracked, and tired

Gods, you were tired. The dark circles under your eyes never left, no matter how much you slept. Or tried to sleep that is.

Sometimes in the dead of night, you would replay Astarion's ascendance in your mind over and over again, wondering what you could have done differently then. Or even before. Where had you gone wrong? Was there another outcome that you failed to make happen? Was there another reality where the two of you were happy together? Gods how that thought hurt. 

 Sometimes, you thought about the what-ifs. You imagined what would have happened if he hadn’t chosen to ascend. What both of you could have been. What you so desperately wanted but could never reach. Eventually, you stopped that line of thought at night. It was too crushing to imagine how things could have been different. What you could have done differently. 

After emerging from hell, you had on and off traveled with some of your previous party. 

You and Wyll had headed to Waterdeep once to help Gale with a sea monster problem 

In an amusing team-up, you had helped Halsin and Lazel find an enchanted bracelet they were both searching for, though they both argued on how to act upon most things during that entire adventure, so you had felt almost like it was a babysitting gig the entire trip. 

There was also that time you helped Minsc dispose of some bandits robbing people near Baldur's gate, but you had dealt with that sorry lot fairly quickly and got far away from Baldur's Gate even quicker. You didn’t want to accidentally run into a certain lord. 

And now you had an entirely new quest, in the bitter cold land of Sossal. A few weeks ago, you met back up with Karlach who apparently had been looking for you.

It’s not that you disliked seeing Karlach at all, in fact, you were both very close, which was part of the problem really. Part of why it stung a little to see her. 

She saw you. She saw how much you hurt even after all this time. Your other friends seemed to have assumed that you had gotten better. That over time you had healed and it had gotten easier for you to come to terms with leaving Astarion. But Karlach knew the truth, She saw right through you, and it was mortifying. That every day the hole inside your heart had just got wider. She feared it would swallow you up one day, and you didn’t blame her. It didn’t help that being around her just made you feel so

Pathetic. 

She had been to literal Hell and back and could still smile and laugh, while you had only lost one person and had cracked and splintered like glass. It hurt to see the light that shined off her while you could only fall deeper into darkness. 

Of course, you knew none of that was her fault, you only had yourself to blame for who you were, so when she came asking for help, you didn’t hesitate to say yes. 

She was having engine troubles again. It wasn’t as bad as before, thank the gods, but it did have a tendency to overheat ever so slightly whenever she felt a strong emotion, and if you didn’t do something one wrong spook could set her ablaze. Luckily she had gone to Gale first and discovered a gem Called the frostbite tear. He could attune the gem to Karlach and make it so that every time her engine began to overheat, the jewel would immediately cool it down, negating the problem before it became a real issue like when you had first met her. Last anyone had heard of the gem it was with some noble in Sossal. 

So here you were. You, Karlach, Shadowheart, and Gale all together at the midwinters ball held here in the capital. Gale had procured the invites for you all, and every noble in Sossal, plus some from other territories, would be here for this celebration. Gale had even been nice enough to give you a beautiful outfit for the ball, made of silvery-white sparking silk. It reminded you of fresh snowfall on a winter's night. Admittedly it wasn’t very practical, and Gale did make you shower before putting it on. (Rude. You didn’t think you smelled t h a t bad.)

You were so focused on helping find this noble (and robbing him of the frostbite tear) that you hadn’t even considered Astarion might be here. 

Not up until the moment that his vibrant red eyes locked onto yours across the room. 

You couldn’t move. Everything was moving too fast and also in slow motion. Your legs felt like lead and your mouth was bone dry. The numbness that had settled in your chest for years now cracked open with new pain, and you weren’t sure which of the sensations you hated more. 

All all this panic and emotions, and yet in your mind all you could think of was how he looked just the same as the day you left. He hadn’t changed. And that made it all the harder. Because now it was easier to forget all the years between you two. He still looked the same as what you saw when you closed your eyes each night. It was Astarion. But on closer examination, not your Astarion. 

There was a coldness to him now. A certain reservation in his smile that made you feel like you would be a mere annoyance to him if you dared to approach. He seemed sharper somehow as well, like a finely honed blade. And his attire was extravagantly beautiful, the white fur-lined cloak he was wearing was probably more expensive than anything you had ever owned, including your current attire. 

You were so busy taking this all in mentally that when you went to glance at him again he was gone. For a split second, you genuinely wondered if you had finally snapped and just hallucinated all of that when an all too familiar hand took yours. 

You hadn't looked away for more than a second and astarion was right there in front of you, kissing your knuckles. The brush of his lips on your skin was nearly enough to bring you to your knees. All these years, and he still had so much power over you with one little motion.

To any outsider, this looked like quite the cute interaction really. The handsome new lord of Baldur's gate spots an incomparable beauty from across the room and is instantly smitten, so he effortlessly woes them the second he steps into the ballroom. But life is no romantic play. 

“Hello darling, it certainly has been a while. We simply must catch up” 

Before you could even attempt to respond, his hands were around your waist, guiding you to the dancefloor as the orchestra began to play, and other couples began to join the dancefloor as well. 

You’d hoped maybe the dance would save you from the conversation, but it seemed the opposite was what occurred, as Astarion leaned closer to your ear to whisper, “So, 7 years without a trace, and suddenly you show up looking positively exquisite. Do tell me what you’ve been up to.” 

Your mouth opens to respond, but you realize you have no idea what to say. What could you possibly say to him, and why would you even say it? 

Luckily you were spared any more torture when you noticed Astarion staring intently at your neck. The sight reminded you of that night you found out he was a vampire spawn, and you had let him drink from you for the first time. But instead of hunger Astarions brown was furrowed with another emotion. Annoyance? Concern? Worry? You couldn’t tell anymore. It had been years since you could tell what Astarion was thinking

His voice broke the silence once again. 

“Is this new?” His long pale fingers brushed across the burn scar near your collarbone.

Ah. So that’s what he was staring at. 

“Well it’s been there a few years, so I wouldn’t really consider it new but-“ you shrug at the end of your sentence, and you both know what you meant. It was only new to him. He may have stayed unchanged all these years, but you certainly hadn’t. And it seemed Astarion was beginning to notice. 

His eyes raked over you, taking in the changes. You were a bit more muscular now, all that constant fighting no doubt. Your new(er) scars were more visible in this outfit, which admittedly was a little revealing and definitely not meant to withstand the harsh outside winter. And the years now showed in the tired look in your eyes. You imagine that your eyes aged you quite a bit honestly, maybe you should be shocked he even recognized you now. 

“So”, he started, decidedly keeping his hand firmly around your waist so you couldn’t run from the conversation, “when you made my undead heart beat again only to toss it on the ground at my feet again like it was nothing all those years ago, I always imagined how nice it would feel to see you struggle while I thrived as lord of Baldur's Gate.” 

Wow. Impressively bad flirting. Had he gotten worse at this over the years? Or maybe he just detested you so much he didn’t even think there was a point in even pretending to like you anymore. 

“But now that I’m actually here and you look-“

He gestured at you vaguely 

“Well a bit like you’d been the one who got dumped, it doesn’t feel very satisfying.” 

“Mhm,” you responded, in a stroke of pure poetry. 

“Darling, you have to give me more than that. The silent treatment after all this time is just petty, even for me.”

He had a point. And part of you did want to know-

“How have you been, Astarion?” 

His steps faltered a little when you said his name, but he quickly recovered, smoothly continuing the dance 

He smirked, his fangs visible on one side “Well certainly better than you if I had to wager, the stuff under my eyes is eyeliner, not sleep deprivation side effects.”

You close the distance between you two involuntarily to get a closer look at his face. He was wearing some sort of golden liquid as eyeliner on his bottom lids. It was subtle but beautiful, and it shined when the light hit his face just right. On instinct, you began to reach towards his face, but you quickly stopped yourself. You needed to stay focused, damnit. You were here to help Karlach.

Astarion's smooth voice cut in once again. “Still making me do all the talking? Honestly, I don’t ever remember you being this quiet before.” 

You startled and realized you had been staring at his face for a while, and then trying to snap yourself out of it, all while not making a sound

Gods you don’t remember it being this hard to talk to him. But then again, you found it harder to talk to anyone these days. you just-

You just didn’t expect that to also apply to Astarion. Further proof that despite him looking the same, there was distance now. A silent gaping chasm that you had no way to cross. But that is what you wanted, wasn't it? To get away from this Astarion. The one who considered you a pet, or an object to be displayed. Treasured, and loved, but never his equal. Never fully having free will, everything you would have done would have had to be something he approved of. 

You loved him, more than anything. You still did. Deep down you knew you would die for this twisted version of your love, and if he asked you to rip out your own heart and serve it to him, you would. But you couldn’t be with him. Everything else you would do for him, but that was where you drew the line. It hurt too much, to be reminded every day of what you had lost. Of what you have failed to protect. That sweet high elf with a silver tongue and a heart of gold he let so few see. The one who wished for freedom more than anything, but still stuck by your side. Because at some point, he wanted to be free with you. And that was not this Astarion. 

Despite all that, just for this moment, you wanted to forget it all. To be held in his arms once again. Maybe, if the gods blessed you, see a real smile of his. You just wanted this one moment. Then your greedy heart would be satisfied. You could burn this image of the two of you dancing forever in your mind and have it sustain you. You’d gladly take another trip to the hells if it meant just a moment where you could pretend you were with your astarion. The one that lived on in your memories. Though you didn’t dare hope that he was still in there somewhere, you don’t think your heart could take it. 

You inhale deeply and begin to talk. You tell him about the quests you’ve been on, the adventures you’ve had, what you’ve been up to these past years. Including why you were here, and your quest to help Karlach and find the frostbite tear.

Eventually, you get to the point where you tell him why you're here, and what you're looking for. But as you do you see a scowl twist on his face. 

“Astarion?” You question, “What’s bothering you?”

He huffs in reply, and you can’t help but smirk. 

“I’m sorry but I do remember someone just talking about how petty the silent treatment is.” You prod, and lock eyes, a sign for him to tell you what’s on his mind

He rolls his eyes at your persistence, but nonetheless, he begins to speak. 

“Hm. Just seems like you and Karlach are so very happy together. A bit of a downgrade if you ask me, but that’s certainly no fault of hers. I mean, once you’ve had me, all you can do is go down from there.” 

“Karlach and I aren’t dating.” You deadpan. 

She was more like a sister to you than anything, and besides you’re pretty sure she already has eyes for someone. 

“Oh?” Astarions eyebrow raises. “So who have you been shagging all these years then? Wyll? Shadowheart? Surely not Gale. Oh please tell me it’s not Gale, I think that might actually hurt my feelings a little if we both shared being to your tastes.” 

“Be nice. Gales is a good friend. FRIEND. They all are. And to answer your prying question, I’m not with anyone. Not since you.” 

It was true. You hadn’t loved anyone since astarion. It just didn’t feel right. Even the idea of a casual fling didn’t feel at all satisfying. And there was no way you would actually consider dating someone again. Not when Astarion still held your heart. 

You could see a few emotions go across Astarion’s face, but you couldn’t recognize them. You remember when you used to be able to know what he was thinking, when he was lying or not. But not anymore. Maybe it was because he was always putting on some act now. 

As you stared, his hand wrapped around your waist and for a breathless moment, he effortlessly lifted you up into the air, gently twirling you around him. then he put you down and smoothly continued the dance as if that was always part of the steps. 

Your face flushed at the amount of contact, and the smirk once again graced Astarion’s lips.

“So, nobody since me? Seems like someone’s not quite over the Lord of Baldur’s Gate.” He singsonged, taking great pleasure in how momentarily flustered you were. “It's ok if you're not over me darling, I can’t blame you.” 

Clearly, he meant this as a joke, one you were supposed to roll your eyes at and ignore. But there was no point in lying, so you just nodded and continued the steps of the dance. 

Astarion stopped dead in his tracks. 

“I-

Wait what? You're still-

Ah- 

You're not over me?” 

“Astarion, the song isn’t over.” You tried to nudge him back into the dance, but his feet were planted firmly, and he wasn’t going to budge. 

“Answer me.” 

You sigh. He wasn’t going to move. So now you were just standing here. In the middle of a ballroom. With everyone else dancing around you. Great. This was super inconspicuous and undercover. 

“I will only continue to talk if you move your damn feet Astarion. Hells I’m supposed to be blending in not standing out.” You hiss and kick at the side of his shoes to indicate for him to get moving.

He recognizes the determination in your eyes and you can see him deciding mentally that he’ll probably get his answer sooner if he does as you ask, so he picks up the dance once again. His grip on your waist is now like iron though, not painful in any way, but there’s absolutely no way you could get out of his grasp now. Not even if you put all your efforts into trying. 

His eyes never left yours, his intense stare practically commanding you to talk.

Which you did say you would do. 

“I still love you.” You shrug. “Never stopped loving you.”

“Then why did you leave?” The hurt in his voice is evident, and you immediately feel like someone hurled a spear of ice directly into your chest. 

You can barely raise your voice above a whisper without it cracking. “You know why. I already told you when I left.” 

“Bullshit. Because you loved the person that I was? He was pathetic. Only a fool would want the lesser version.” His voice was like ice, you could feel the hatred he held for himself.

And you instantly felt your anger flare up at his words.

“Don’t you ever talk about-

About him like that”

It felt weird referring to past Astarion as someone else. But it was true. They were two completely different people now. And honestly, you didn’t care about the semantics, your blood was practically boiling. 

“He was the love of my life. He was everything to me. So don’t you dare insult him.” You spat, practically seeing red

Astarion's face twisted in rage. 

“Maybe you liked me pathetic, hm? Maybe the only way you could possibly love me was if I was beneath you. A precious pet spawn, entirely dependent on you, living in your shadow to protect me from the sun that I now bask in.” He sneered, meeting your rage with his own.

And just like that, you had shattered all over again. 

It was your turn to stop dancing now, unmoving in the sea of swaying nobles. 

Astarion's rage seemed to have flickered out seeing the look on your face.

What did your face look like? Were you shocked? Were you crying? Somewhere in the back of your mind, you could register the feeling of hot tears down your cheeks, but you paid it no heed. 

Instead, you wrapped your arms around Astarion, putting your face in the crook of his neck. 

Astarion completely froze at the sudden contact, not even taking a breath. Although he probably didn’t need to actually breathe anyways so maybe that was normal.

“I’m sorry. If-

-If you truly believe that I ever thought that way about you, then I messed up beyond repair. I'm so sorry.” 

You tried to continue, to apologize for all the times you had failed him. For making him feel like that. But you realized you couldn’t speak. Your body was silently heaving with sobs, tears flowing down your face and ruining Astarion's nice clothing.

Great. You couldn’t even cry without screwing him over. And this was definitely not inconspicuous. 

You lifted your head, making a move to step away, but as you did you saw a blue glint on one of the lapels of some well-dressed lord.

Holy shit.

The frostbite tear. You had found it. And all it took was sobbing on your ex to spot the damn thing. That didn’t make you feel pathetic at all. Though admittedly this was the perfect distraction from this soul-crushing conversation. Maybe with any luck you wouldn’t even have to address that embarrassing display that no doubt disgusted astarion, he was probably hoping you’d get the hell off him already.

So you did just that, jerking back from the hug and keeping your eyes glued on the gem. 

“Astarion look. It’s the frostbite tear. On that lord.”

But you could tell Astarion’s eyes were firmly glued to your face. 

You tried to slip away, to follow the frostbite tears owner and relieve him from its ownership, whether that be by swiping it, lying, or just straight up threatening the guy. But Astarion held you firmly in place. 

“What are you doing?” You whispered, to not startle your target. “He’s right there. Let go.”

“You can’t just drop that on me and leave” he whisper-yelled back 

“I’m not leaving, I’m just grabbing something real quick. Now let go, it’ll take 5 minutes tops.”

“What if you decide you don’t wanna talk again and run off?” He countered 

“Then you can corner me because you're the vampire ascendant.” 

“What if he catches you and you get arrested?”

“Then you can visit me in jail because you're the vampire ascendant.” 

“What if-“

Oh for fucks sake. 

“Whatever happens, I assure you, you will be able to say whatever you want to me after because you are the vampire ascendant. You made that fact very clear to me when we were together. Now let go.” You cut him off, and then try once again to move towards the target. But his grip remained firm 

You look up at him, now filled with annoyance and desperation. The noble could escape if you didn’t do something now, and yet Astarion seemed insistent on trapping you. 

“Just one more dance, alright?” He bargained.

Unbelievable. That was his priority? You knew it had been a while but you never expected him to disregard a former ally so blatantly. Karlach needed this. 

But upon closer inspection, he almost looked… a little guilty? Worried maybe? That didn’t seem right. What on earth?

Just then, Astarion pushed your face into his chest, wrapping his arms around you, almost protective. Protective but restrictive. You couldn’t move away no matter how much you pushed on his chest or tried to slip out of his hold. 

“Astarion. Let. Go.” You hissed.

But your attempts at breaking free immediately stopped when you heard an ear-piercing screech and the sound of heavy footsteps. 

On instinct, you reached for where your weapon would normally be, but you had nothing on you. Shadowheart had a few small weapons concealed on her in case things got messy, considering her attire was a bit more conservative than yours, but she wasn’t anywhere near you now. 

Damnit. On instinct, you tried to twist around in Astarion's grasp to a more protective stance. Of course, you knew he didn’t need your protection at all, it was just a base instinct kicking in. Unfortunately, he didn’t allow you to move out of his grasp, so all you could do was squirm. 

“What is wrong with you??” You practically shouted. If there was danger, then just standing here like this would leave you both wide open. Had he lost all common sense? 

Unless- 

At that exact point, a guard of the lord of Sossal burst through the doors, covered in blood. 

“Vampire spawn are attacking the gates!” She exclaimed, cradling her arm, which was profusely bleeding. 

“I didn’t know you would be here.” He murmurs, almost as if he’s telling this to himself more than you. 

He wasn’t trying to keep you here, you realize. He was protecting you. None of the spawn would dare come near you if they saw Astarion holding you like this. 

But at this moment you didn’t care. For years you had mourned over the loss of your Astarion. You had tried so hard, attempting to separate him from this ascended Astarion. But you had never been truly able to get over him, to accept he was gone. Because deep, deep down, no matter what you told yourself, you still believed he was in there somewhere. Behind all the silks and sharp gazes.

And you felt that hope die as you heard the hissing of the dozens of spawn outside, mingled with the screams and cries of the guards. He was gone. And your heart was shattered all over again. 

But it was different this time. Before, you had pulled yourself together again, deformed and jagged, but still together. You couldn’t do that this time. There was no coming back from this. You could feel it. This pain wouldn’t fade. But there was something else there that wasn’t there before. Anger.

Astarion was protecting you, yes, but Gale, Shadowheart, and Karlach were here too. If the spawn got into the ballroom, they would be in danger. Not to mention this made procuring the frostbite tear infinitely more difficult. 

Rage burned in your eyes, and for the first time, you saw the great vampire ascendant stumble over his words a little, as he tried to explain something about how the lord of Sossal had insulted him, but you weren’t listening. 

While Astarion was struggling to explain himself, you realized he wasn’t paying as much attention to you. Good.

In one swift movement, you slipped out of his grasp and frantically looked around, searching for your friends. It was nearly impossible to hear anything over the screaming and panic of the nobles. It also wasn’t helping that Astarion was probably going to be right on your heels the second he recovered. Or maybe he’d just leave you to be eaten by his spawn. You didn’t really care. 

After continuing to weave your way past frantic nobles and shouting their names, you were able to see a red hand waving you down from the far left balcony. It was Karlach, and she was with Gale and Shadowheart. Good. With all 3 of them together any spawn that came after them would be screwed. But you still had a mission to complete.

You looked up at Shadowheart and held your hand out for a weapon. You were going to track down that damn gem if it killed you. That noble was about to have a very bad day. Well. A worse day. 

You were focusing all your hurt onto this, all your rage. But you needed to. You needed it because you had no idea what else you could do now. You needed something to focus on. Something to distract you from your shattered heart. 

Shadowheart saw your determination and tossed a short sword down to you. Not your preferred weapon of choice, but it would do.

You whipped around, hand around the short sword at the ready, but also because it felt grounding, to be fighting once again. Now it was time to hunt down your prey.

You quickly ran in the direction you’d last seen, glancing over every lapel for that glowing blue light. It was hard, many of the nobles were dressed in a winter theme, so shades of white, silver, and blue were all too common in the sea of panic. 

You continued to push past nobles, searching for that faint blue glow. You refused to let this go, you would not let Karlach down. You fought for too many years in hell getting the engine in her repaired to go all the way back to square one again. 

You feel yourself tunnel vision on finding a blue light, your head whipping back and forth on the hunt, it felt good to let everything else fade away into numbness as your only thought is tracking down this gem.

A glimmer out of the corner of your eye. A flash of blue. The shine of fine silk. There he was. In a crowd of panicked nobles trying to run into other parts of the castle and hide from Astarion's horde gathering outside. Honestly, it was a pretty understandable reaction, you didn't blame him for running at all, but you needed that gem. You hope he survived honestly.

Survived.

Because Astarion planned to turn this place into a bloodbath. Your Astarion. The one who you had sat under the stars with, and he would teach you all the constellations whose names you didn't know, his silky voice lulling you to sleep when insomnia or worry had hit you. 

You'd rather still be in the hells honestly. 

You took a deep breath, centering yourself back to the present. Get the gem. 

You dashed after the noble, drawing your shortsword and charging at the man. If possible, you'd do this quickly.

Ducking under the other guests, you grab this unfortunate noble by the collar, the moment you do he screeches, clearly fearing the worst. Luckily for him, you were only after his gem, not his blood. With one slice you cut the gem off the cloak, shredding the beautiful white fabric. 

Not even bothering to explain yourself to him, you pocket your prize and turn on your heel, heading back in your friend's direction, when all of a sudden you hear the noble you had just stolen from scream again. But this time it was followed by the screams of a few others 

You look back and that’s when you see her. A vampire spawn. Clearly on her way to the ballroom, but judging by her smile, it was clear she had just found some horderves. 

You could have run. You were the only person with a weapon and the farthest away from her. She definitely wouldn’t pick you as her first target, she’d go for one of the defenseless nobles right next to her. You should have met up with the others and gotten the hells out of this place.

But the noble whose lapel you had just torn apart was so young. They were people. Scared people who got unlucky and were about to die because someone had offended the great vampire ascendant. Maybe you wanted to save them. But more likely, you just wanted something to take your anger out on. Or maybe you were just dumb as a rock.

But regardless you turned around and began to sprint towards the spawn instead of away, angling your weapon so that you would have the perfect angle to go for her collarbone. 

Yet as soon as you locked her on as a target, her eyes went wide with..fear? She was a vampire spawn, surely she’d had a few of her victims fight back yes? Was this her first hunt? 

Soon you realized that wasn’t the case at all as you felt a chill run down your spine. Even now with all his power, it wasn’t hard for you to identify the presence now standing menacingly right behind you. The familiar smell of bergamot filled your senses with the closeness. You could feel his chest pressed against your back. You didn’t know what kind of face Astarion was making right now, but whatever it was, it terrified the vampire spawn, her form now shaking and cowering before her master. 

Funny. Even now after everything, you couldn’t find astarion scary. You probably should, considering how he just appeared behind you. But after everything you still couldn’t. 

There was no point in delaying this any further. You turn around, and as you do his eyes immediately move from the spawn back to you. And his gaze softened. Before this whole ordeal that single action probably would have caused you to melt. But now it was different. You had already resigned yourself to being without him. You couldn’t turn back time. You couldn’t save him. All you could do now was try and find a way forward. And you certainly wouldn’t find that staring into his crimson eyes. 

This felt awful. You felt awful. Walking away from him now didn’t feel like closure, it felt like someone had just stopped writing on the page mid-sentence. But you had to stop. Just stop. You couldn’t spend the rest of your life like this, mourning what you lost. Astarion would have an eternity to forget about you, but you only had this one life. And for the first time in a long time, you finally felt like you wanted to move forward with your life. To start living again. You were still mad. And upset. And it still hurt. But you wanted to get better. 

So you turned around, not looking at Astarion, and left. Walked right past him without saying a word. You didn’t know what he would do. Let you leave and forget you ever existed? Grab your arm and try to talk again? Decide he had had enough and just drain you dry? You honestly had no idea anymore. But you knew one thing.

You wouldn’t be the one to look back.

part 2 here :)

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