#and its so hard

[madtangledblues]

#esp bc this is without the conversion #and its so hard #and its cold here #and im tired of taking orders (being broke) #trc

[xiaophobic]

the last of us is over my life has no meaning

#wdym i don’t get to see bella ramsey every sunday now. I HAVE TO WAIT TWO YEARS???? #and then no more pedro because…well. #if you don’t know nothing about the game don’t look at this #but what the fuck #this is ridiculous #i hate everything and the world is dark and cold #AND ITS SO HARD #AND ITS COLD HERE #atlas.rambles

[albino-whumpee]

Mentioning Sann and Al on therapy is so embarrassing. I already know what they truly mean to me, man, don´t say it outloud like that. 

Tho, I have the sensation that my therapist messes who is who sometimes, so sometimes his examples arent very accurate. But something that made me relax was his words about their relationship. How Sann first started reciprocating his feelings because he felt indebted and slowly realized he didn´t have to pay back even if there was nothing specific that provoked it was somewhat relieving. 

But I wonder if he understood later he feels lacking and frustrated when he can´t give back the care and comfort Al provided when he was recovering from his conditioning, because he feels that its not an equal exchange and sees the impact in Al´s depression turning worse and worse.

#he knows he is not supposed to take care #like being completely responsible for his feelings #but he feels like he isnt helping at all #and all the strategies al used for him dont work the other way around #so he cant even imitate him #and its so hard #because he didnt fight all the trauma himself #he somehow just allowed time to heal him #and proximity with al helped #but for al #it doesnt work that way #i dont like comparing traumas #but albus trauma is not something sann wouldve been able to endure #so sann is at a loss on what to do #even if he tries his best with what he knows #i think it hurts him so much to see al understand that #and that he kind of doesnt expect him to help him #as if he was used to dealing with everything and himself all alone #it fuels his anger and drive tho #he wants to prove he can be helped #and that he can help #ah the baby #wuv u sann

[borrelia]

if you donate one single us dollar to the unrwa, you will have donated more money than you would have by clicking that stupid arab.orb link every day for four and a half years. yes, they do actually donate money to the unrwa, but even with tens of thousands of clicks, most of that money is the baseline $90 they send every quarter. from 2023 quarter 4, half a million clicks turned into $380.57. maths out to six hundreths of one cent per click. just donate to unrwa.

#myaa #everyones pushing so hard for the clicks and like #its nice you think you can make a difference by clicking #but you should understand how minimal the impact of that site is #i can understand if you literally cannot donate #but its frustrating to see ppl reposting the click link so many times without the link to ACTUALLY donate...

[koddlet]

personal rules for winter ❄

#this was fun bc i didn't intend for it to be kind of cryptic #i just wanted to make some reminders for myself about winter cuz i never learn #especially the back cover which i guess isn't really a rule but still stands. i'm in a rural place so when it gets dark it's Dark #and its hard to want to do anything #zine #mini zine #illustration #nonfandom #analogue art

[pbnmj]

THE NOIR-HOBIE INTERACTIONS THAT I MADE UP IN MY MIND ARE VERY REAL TO ME. SONY PLEASE PICK UP WHAT I’M PUTTING DOWN!!!

#atsv spoilers #atsv #across the spiderverse #across the spider-verse #left the theatre knowing my gf is coming back immediately ofc had to draw this . #written hobie's dialogue here as though someone might incidentally forget he's british. LOL #sorray brits i will never be good at ur slang. i think bruv is a liiiittle old but he also said mandem so whatever #wanker/geezer is rly not used anymore but im sorry . i refuse to keep looking up british slang. its too hard #hobie brown #peter parker #spider-man noir #spider-punk #spiderman noir #spider punk #itsv #spiderman #into the spiderverse #my art

[stil-lindigo]

hobie motherfuckin' brown!!!!!!

#i am so normal about hobie brown (lie) #what the hell has this movie done to me #i have taken art drugs #cant. stop. drawing him. oh my god #its hard to tell but the webbing behind him spells out his name #my anticapitalist king. im sorry but i /will/ be purchasing a poster of you #hobie brown #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #spiderman #spiderman across the spiderverse #stillindigo art

[bordonfreeman]

I do not have the energy to make this look nicer but i felt i needed to get this out or it would consume me.

I have been feeling an immense amount of rage and grief lately and this only encapsulates some of my thoughts

#a shut up #art #free palestine #cease fire now #its been very hard to verbalize my thoughts and feelings so hopefully this gets some of it accrost #comic

[rozecrest]

hey don’t cry. spiro the bald eagle failing at catching a crab, okay?

#guys i’ve literally been thinking about this video for DAYSSS ITS SO FUNNY #if you’re wondering spiro did eventually catch a fish to court his partner misty and they had two chicks! only one survived though it was a #hard summer 💔 #island of the sea wolves #chats

[milo-is-rambling]

Therapy with a therapist who is actually good at their job top ten best and hardest experiences

#WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO FIGURE PUT HOW TO TALK ABOUT THE SHITTY THINGS IN FRONT OF ANOTHER HUMAN BEING #IT MAKES ME WANNA THROW UP BUT IT ALSO MAKES ME EXCITED AND MOTIVATED AND I FEEL SEEN BUT I ALSO HATE IT #AND ITS SO HARD #I WANT TO BE IN THERAPY CONSTANLTY BC THE SPACE BETWEEN THERAPY SESSIONS IS SO HARD #LIKE YES I GET TO TALK ABOUT THINGS GET THEM OFF MY CHEST BUT THEN THE THINGS ARE JUST IN MY BRAIN LOUDER THAN USUAL FOR A WEEK #anyways. finished virtual therapy like a half hour ago and I’ve just been listening to music and hanging out with funk and debating #journaling or not bc I feel like I have nothing to say I feel so empty but I also feel like my brain won’t shut up and it’s going fast

[pastadoughie]

#art #my art #mspaint #rowens liddol guys #i got testosterone :3 #not liek today its been like #2 weeks sence i got my first injection #my healthcare provider fucked alot of stuff up during the whole process so #ive been kind of upset lately becsause like #it should not be this fuckin hard #but whatrever #i am over it (lieing) #biblically accurate rowen #almost forgor that one

[autumn-may]

Mostly spoiler free summary of my viewing experience

#The boy and the heron #how do you live #studio ghibli #ghibli #in all honesty that movie was legitimately so fantastic and im like changed as a person #Story wise as well! It hits really hard if you know a bit about miyazaki and his legacy. Its a very personal movie i think #And you can feel it in every aspect #The eng dub voice actors were really good as well and the animation was beautiful as always #Also really loved the tone!!! The story really relied a bit on the use of negative space in both sound and pacing and i enjoyed that alot #in conclusion go read a article about miyazaki and his son and then go watch the movie it’s probably going to be one of my favorites #image id in alt

[wizard0rbs]

when the academic article is so good it has you giggling and kicking your feet

#im sitting in my uni library trying really hard not to jump around with joy #this article is soo fascinating and has so many interesting points ugh #also itll be very helpful for a paper im writing so double yay #its 'the trick of the runes in the husband's message' by john d. niles btw and its available on jstor #in case anyone is interested #OE studies #aca #studyblr

[blueboyluca]

“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”

— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)

#dog books #this chapter was very sad reading #when you become aware of punishment #and its use and its prevalence #it's hard not to despair #again this is why positive reinforcement feels like absolution #maybe now my eyes are open I can make up for what I did #what I did because it's what everyone does #because it's more acceptable to punish than to do anything else #I've been having so many thoughts about punishment and society and justice #this book was very validating #another great validating moment in my jumbled thoughts #was listening to the You're Wrong About episode on justice #with Amanda Knox #it helped to ease the despair a little

[yookikiku]

I tried animating a dress up game!

#original #animation #2024 #yookiko #i worked really really hard on this!!!!! #it makes me so happy to know it's possible to create things I vision in my head like this! #ART IS SO FUN!!!!!!!! #this probably wont go off since its original and this character is my persona but but...! Im so proud of myself for this!

[orionis13]

This moment brought to you by ice feast

#art tag #starchive #fantasy high #fhjy #riz gukgak #gorgug thistlespring #porter cliffbreaker #fhjy spoilers #i did this so fast i thot the scene was cool and i had to get itnout of my system #the values got away from me a little but oh well its just kinda hard to read hdjshf #and i liked the visual of riz in the floorboards and lava shooting porter while gorgug had him grappled #cool moment i thought