#so fuck now time for marie's route D:

[wetcatspellcaster]

7 and 8 for the Tav asks. :D and congrats on the thesis!

Thank you for the questions! Sorry for the long answer!

7. Describe their arc. How would a player help resolve it? What choices can be made? Can your Tav be turned down a dark path, or pulled to a lighter one?

So I thought about this a lot, the Good Ending for Rosalie is she's Just A Person, the Bad Ending is that she volunteers to become the mindflayer at the Orpheus decision for ENTIRELY THE WRONG REASONS (feeling like a liability, believing it's the only way to cure her mental illness, seeing herself as the weak link in the group, being depressed, etc. - this ending bought to you by me staring at that decision screen for an hour KNOWING she'd turn herself into a mindflayer in a heartbeat but feeling physically ill over her logic behind that decision). This is the 'exalted mind' ending.

So there is a bad path for her, but it's one bought about by being self-sacrificing to the point of absolute idiocy and self destruction. I think that Tav literally swerves her away from it by teaching her to be a little selfish and to value herself lmao. Literally the opposite of most of the other companions, and kind of what I wish you could teach Wyll in his storyline tbh!

Her arc would be her just generally being over-emotional and reckless, with lots of camp chats about morality in Act 1 (I would probably double down on the tropes that fandoms hate in female characters a la Katara in Avatar the Last Airbender just for the lols). I want her ending Act 1 feeling like a trite 'heart of the group', ridiculous Mary Sue, she talks to you a lot about how you're feeling, are you ok? Borderline annoying tbh, but with the EA Halsin Effect of "oh, you're the companion who's nicest to me!!". Then in Act 1/2 depending on approval she does something utterly stupid, like run into a fight alone unprompted (death to a wizard), or possibly have Ethel specific dialogue that pisses Ethel off if she's in your party, and the player starts thinking "god this girl is a bit weird and reckless and stupid at times actually", and calling her out on it gets the illithid tadpole as anxiety med drop.

Act 3, you start meeting people from her past (bonus comedy route for if you just enabled all her behaviour at this point to be nice to her and get her approval bc then the illithid tadpole drop happens here). Larroakan is like "aren't you that mousy little scribe who completed those commissions for me?", you can find Threnn, possibly did an infernal translation for Gortash (not canon just for story tie-in)???? and they're all like "who the fuck are you? why are you so different now". There would be a confrontation about lying about who she is, a camp conversation about the pressure they face as the 'heroes of Baldur's Gate" and how she feels inadequate. And then in the conversation with Threnn, and the final Orpheus conversation, Tav can encourage Rose to have an actually healthy relationship with her emotions and not see her every choice as a failing actually. Then you unlock real Rose personality and a final decision where she doesn't try and throw herself on her sword.

8. After Act 3, what does their life look like? What are they talking about at the reunion party?

Good ending Rosalie has rebuilt her relationships with her family, she's back at the Watchful Order but getting all their backlog of heroic deeds retroactively converted into a wizard qualification, and unromanced she'll mention that she's either considering going on secondment to Avernus or helping Halsin in the Shadowlands/feywild as her practical project for the final part of her grade. She will have visited every single companion in the six months (Wyll/Karlach as a projection). She will mention going to tea weekly with Gale given that she's fast-tracking wizardry/he needs a friend group and practice at being a normie and they live in the same city. She will name drop being friends with Tara very smugly.

Bad ending Rosalie is a mindflayer and will talk about the magic she's capable of and the power she's unlocking, now she's no longer letting emotion cloud her judgement. You can ask her about her parents and if she's gotten back in touch and she says, "oh, right. I used to have those."

tav ask game! :)

#asks #ask game #tav ask game #honestly Rosalie is me getting frustrated at Lawful Good being seen as the 'boring' option and doubling down... #...so I imagine she'd annoy a bunch of people A LOT :') #(it was a very specific Early Access feeling... ifykyk)

[vaindumbass]

till forever falls apart by ashe and finneas

okay first of all: damn. d a m n  what a song. second of all: 

this is the ideal song for a jily wartime wedding

I think I’d start it off with the saat phere (as I’ve learned, a hindu wedding tradition where the couple circles a fire (symbolizing agni) seven times, reciting their vows while tied to each other) 

to be more precise, in the sixth round of the saat phere, where the bride and groom ask for a peaceful long life with each other, bc i enjoy irony & pain

but u know it would all be very happy!! maybe just a little simmer of the war going on, a mention of a few empty seats at the wedding but not much aside from that

we all know that lily’s sister is shit so instead of petunia stealing james’ shoes (joota chupai) we’re going with the found family route so it would be Sirius, Remus, Dorcas, Marlene and Mary (and Peter) hiding the shoes 

it’d be absolute  c h a o s  

they were planning on scouting out the wedding venue beforehand to find a good place to hide it 

but hadn’t gotten around to it (too much order missions) 

and so everyone’s looking for a good hiding place at the very last minute

Marlene, however, has a plan

She goes up to euphemia potter and says: ‘isn’t it a lovely wedding? Such a shame that I don’t have sunscreen, I burn so easily,’ 

‘Oh dear,’ Euphemia says, ‘no need to worry, here, take my keys, I’ve always got some in my car,’ 

(marlene knew that already) 

(marlene is planning a heist)

(or, at least, that’s what she likes to call it in her head) 

she hides the shoes in James’ car

when she comes running back, there’s practically no time before dorcas takes her arm and apparates them

there’s been a death eater attack

lily and james are on the front lines, still in their wedding attire, although james has lost his dupatta and they aren’t tied together anymore

there’s debris everywhere and they’re busy shooting spells 

and they’d been living in a bubble for a bit, and lily can admit that but it’d been so nice ignoring everything that was going on 

‘can’t believe i have to share you with dumbledore on my wedding day,’ she says

james scoffs a bit, and he’d love to engage in some fun banter but he’s a bit busy evading a stunning spell

‘that almost sounds as if you aren’t having a good time right now,’ 

lily laughs, ‘well, i had the best time falling into love, nothing can really top that,’ 

‘yeah,’ james says, a tad wistfully, ‘for a while i was all yours,’  

‘fucking dumbledore,’ 

‘fucking dumbledore,’ james agrees, ‘but at least I’m not married to him,’ 

‘luckily for me,’ lily hits someone who was about to attack james, ‘but i know it’s only a matter of time before you leave me for him,’ 

‘what?’ james gasps, affronted, taking her hand and running to where they can see remus and sirius sitting (they haven’t seen mary for a bit. they don’t mention it), ‘don’t say that, i’ll be yours forever’ 

till forever falls apart, lily thinks, but she doesn’t say it out loud

‘finally you’re joining us,’ sirius calls out, ‘what were you doing back there, having a romantic date?’ 

he says it the same way he used to in school, eyebrow wiggling and all

‘oh, we were,’ james says, ‘but we realized there’s nothing more romantic than dying with your friends,’

and it shouldn’t be funny, because it’s just a little too close to the truth

but they laugh, what other option do they have? 

(crying in the midst of battle isn’t a good idea) 

and this fic would end

well

we all know how it ends, don’t we?

#wow i went off with this one this is a lot of words #sorry for making it so happy at the beginning but sal mentioned a thing abt stealing slippers and i love that so much- #but also wow what a good song #thanks so much for sending that one in!!! #it was inspiring skjfhjkds #jily #lily evans #james potter #lily x james #jily fanfiction #marauders #mywriting #if anything abt the wedding is inaccurate of offensive please tell me!!

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Reasons Javier Garcia’s Pretty Great

Of all the games in TWDG, A New Frontier seems to get the most shit. Stick around this fandom long enough and that’ll become apparently pretty quick, especially on other platforms such as reddit and instagram... and y’know, I get it. ANF is far from perfect, parts of the storyline go no where and characters don’t get the development they should have, a lot of people were upset that Clementine wasn’t the main playable protagonist, and certain character models look like... well, they look like potatoes. 

Hell, I’ve talked to some people who flat out say they don’t even consider ANF as part of the canon and skip it when they replay the series, which.... harsh, but you do you. However, if you do skip over ANF for whatever personal reasons you have, you are missing out on what I would consider the best part of that game: Javier Garcia. 

I love Javi, and I will stand by the fact that he’s a pretty damn good playable protagonist. I just wish more love and time was put into developing ANF to give him an even better story but y’know... Telltale was goin’ through shit, so we got this... 

But, I still wanna talk about how great I think Javi is so c’mon, let’s take a walk. 

5. Javi’s relationship with David

Now this might come off as a weird one, especially if your Javi has a more hostile relationship with David. Even so, I find the dynamic between Javi and David to be one of the more compelling aspects of ANF and I wish it was more front and center than it is but y’know. 

So we got Javi, who is the younger, more irresponsible brother who became this hotshot baseball star only to lose it all by gambling. Then you got older brother David who is a military man with a couple kids and a second wife, and he’s always felt a little overshadowed by Javi. This creates this dynamic of brothers who do love each other, but don’t always know how to communicate and confide in one another and it can lead to a lot of tension or hostility.

The route I usually take with a Javier who tries his best with David, who wants this connection despite everything, who made the promise to their father to look out for David and be there for him, to stand with him when he needs it, y’know? 

Some stand out moments for me is during the baseball flashback when David’s trying to open up about something, but struggles because Javi isn’t taking a hint about the serious nature, when they stand together on the roof, and the last conversation we see between them if David survives. 

Oh, and ya can’t forget the “I love you”’s when David is two seconds away from murdering Javi... that’s the good shit. 

And y’know, on the flip side where Javi is against David every step of the way, you can still argue that acts as a more tragic yet compelling story of two brothers who never saw eye to eye, never tried to, and it ended in tragedy... I personally don’t prefer this route, but to each their own. 

Again, this is at #5 because it’s not handled the greatest and it’s a bit of an unpopular choice.... but I don’t care, Javi and his relationship with David is one of my favorites. 

4. He’s pretty charming, isn’t he?

I’m sorry, I can’t help it.... if a charming character can make me laugh, then I almost always end up loving them. Javier Garcia is so damn funny and I love him for it. 

Yeah, ANF is a mess but this dude makes it so much better with his dialogue, a great performance by Jeff Schine, great facial expressions, and just an overall charismatic air around him. 

He’s just super likable, okay? Even when you play him as a total bastard, I have a hard time not enjoying his presence. I’ll be honest, if Javi wasn’t the playable protagonist or if he was this bland, watered down version of himself... I might be one of those people who skip over ANF. 

He’s easily one of my favorite parts of this game and one of the few redeeming things about it. 

3. His growth as a character

Like I mentioned in #5, when we first meet Javi he’s this irresponsible ex-professional baseball player who wasn’t around, even though his father was dying from cancer. After his father dies and he runs to try and make it home in time... he’s too late and David and their mother are pretty upset with him. 

And then his father turns into a walker, and the apocalypse happens. Javi is now trying to survive with Kate, Gabe, and Mariana while everything goes to hell around them. But for someone known to not be around or to skip out when things get a little tough, Javi doesn’t abandon them. Nope, he stays with them for years, traveling around and surviving, making sure they have what they need. 

By the end of the game? Javi’s proved to be a leader, proved that he’s better than he once was. Again, this is ANF so this growth isn’t super smooth or the greatest, but damn it, Javi makes it work. 

He and his family, no matter the combo you got, are staying in Richmond and they’re going to try to start over and rebuild it, make it better than it was.... which I can only assume they succeeded because after that they were never heard from again. 

Also, Javi is constantly having shit thrown his way and somehow he manages to pull through. 

So good job, Javi, you did it. 

2. Javi’s got a lot of force

Listen... Javi is so fun to play as. Like okay, I know that Telltale games don’t have the most complex combat system... you literally just push the buttons as they appear on screen. But I don’t care because Javi makes that fun. 

Javi really puts all of his weight into each hit and you feel it. I don’t know how to explain it, but there’s something satisfying about the way Javi fights with a melee weapon, and it’s not something you feel when you play as Lee or Clementine. You do get it a few times when you place as Michonne in the mini-series, but even then, I would argue that Javi did it better. 

It’s especially prominent towards the end of ep5 if you go after David and Gabe,  and Javi’s on this motorcycle with his damn bat knocking over walker after walker until he finds them... then you get all this intense force when Javi is just gunning and beating down walker after walker to get to the vehicle Gabe and David are trapped in. I love it so much, it’s easily one of my favorite moments in ANF. 

Don’t get me wrong, I have fun playing as Lee and Clementine, but Javier Garcia hits different, y’know? 

1.  He’s really trying his best to care for everyone, okay? 

When we think of Lee as a playable protagonist, we tend to think about how wise he was, how he always seemed to know what he was doing and how much he was willing to sacrifice for Clementine... and when we think of Clem as a playable protagonist in S2, we’ve got this sad little girl who gets punished no matter what she does, she’s smart and often underestimated, but she makes plenty of mistakes which she learns from.

And then we have Javi who has a bit of both in him. He’s older and can have his moments of wisdom [like with Gabe and Clem] but he also has plenty of mistakes he’s gotta learn from and sometimes no matter what he does, everything goes to hell... but Javi does manage to stand out on his own among these two. 

Javi does what he can, he tries his hardest to look after these kids even though he never planned to be a father figure, he works with Kate to make sure they’re safe. When he fucks up, he tries to make things right... even though it doesn’t always work out. He loves Gabe and Mariana, and you can see and feel his heartbreak when he’s the one to bury Mari after she’s killed.... and now he has Gabe, who’s hurting, and he does what he can to make sure he doesn’t meet the same fate which.... sometimes doesn’t work out depending on your ending.

I just-- he’s trying, okay? Javi is trying his best and I love him for it.  

---

Honorable Mentions

-Javi has some of the best deaths/fails moments... seriously, I could watch him confidently run right into those metal stairs and fall to his doom a hundred times. -He’s a literal disaster bi.   -He fucking loves pudding and I mean, who doesn’t? Y’know?  -His bromance with Tripp is pretty good until Tripp dies for death quota reasons. 

---

So what are your thoughts on Javier Garcia? Do you agree with these reasons, or do you have any to add? Lemme know, it’s always fun to have character discussions.

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

Next week’s T5F

#twdg t5f #twdg javi #twdg david #twdg gabe #twdg mariana #twdg kate #twdg clementine

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe and some rather tatty blue slippers, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to the weekend!

Next Friday is Black Friday. Guess how much I’ll be spending? Go on, take a guess! That’s right: fuck all. I don’t need anything. My house is overflowing with books I haven’t read, CDs I haven’t listened to, clothes I haven’t worn. And, if the truth be told, you don’t need anything either! I think those companies had enough of our money during lockdown. Amazon boss Jeff Bezos made $34 billion in the first six months of 2021. If you really (really) need to spend money next Friday, shop local and buy fresh, purchase something from a sole trader on Etsy, or purchase directly from someone’s website or Bandcamp. In truth, though, you probably don’t need anything. In 12 months, you’ll probably go through your wardrobes and drawers, fill black plastic sacks and take them to the local recycling plant! This madness has to stop!

I’m very pleased to say I went for a walk yesterday. First walk in seven weeks! It wasn’t sunny but it wasn’t cold, so I was quite happy walking my familiar route, round and round Roundwood Park. The work schedule has been pretty unforgiving since term began, so I was glad to get some fresh air and stretch my legs. I used the opportunity to catch up with some friends. Haven’t even had time for phone calls!

This weekend, we go to Hove to see Lady Wesker. She would quite happily cook for us but I thought I’d buy her dinner on Saturday night. There’s this gastro-pub that she likes nearby, so it will make a nice change. We can only stay one night, as we have far too much work to do in London. The Trouble came home from work yesterday and, like many of you, ate her dinner and fell straight to sleep in front of the TV. Hove is our weekend treat. Mum will tell us outrageous stories, as usual. 85-year-old women have no filter. Yes, I know we need a holiday, but that can’t happen just yet. To be honest, getting into my bed at night is all the holiday I need right now.

Look forward to the pleasure of your company tomorrow at 1.00 p.m. for ‘The A-Z Of Mi-Soul Music’ (The Letter D Pt. 4.) Tomorrow’s Executive Producer is Sharon Stubbs from Lexington in Kentucky. Trinidad’s Finest, Avril Marie Ashby Thurston did a great job last week and Sharon has truly stepped up to the plate.

If you’re looking for something new to read, check out the things I’ve written (via Amazon.) Have a fabulous and funky Friday! I love you all. You’re probably thinking, “You don’t even know me!” but, if people can hate for no reason, I can love!

#mixcloud #mi soul #lockdown #new blog #dj #music #coronavirus #books #weekend

[tlou2holland]

Joel x reader ( pt 9 )

summary: You and Joel prepare for the upcoming patrol 

warnings: none 

you can read the previous parts here

“I don´t think its a good idea to split up.“ Jesse shakes his head and you look at him out of the corner of your eye, him and Dina sitting next to you. Joel and Tommy sit across from you while Marie and Ellie each took a seat at the head of the table. “But the infected has been sighted here-“ Tommy points to the card in front of him and marks the place with a red pen. “in town and here.“ He connects the dots to show how far away from each other they are, and Maria sighs. “We have to get to them somehow, we can’t risk to let them any closer towards Jackson.“ She takes the map and slides it over the table towards her, looking at the route with a deep frown. “what if we build teams to secure our lookouts, and meet up somewhere in the middle after we’re done?“ Ellie looks around for any faces of approval, and you nod. “This could work, If anything goes wrong and one of us doesn’t show up to the meeting point, we know where they went missing and can take a look.“ “but some lookouts might be more overrun than others.“ Joel sighs and takes the card from Maria, trying to find a route that is somehow a little safe for everyone. “That could also happen on normal patrols, we can try to come from all sides and meet up here-“Dina leans up from her seat and points to the supermarket Joel and You cleaned a couple weeks ago. “This way each of us can cover a lookout and has roughly the same way to the meeting point.“ “and some lookouts were freshly cleaned this week, it shouldn’t be too much trouble.“ Tommy tucks a strand of hair behind his ear and looks at Joel. “What do you say?“ “I don´t like this, but it might work.“ Joel shrugs his shoulders and you nod, looking at him. “Let´s partner up then, who knows each lookout the best?“ You say, sinking deeper into your seat and waiting for someone to speak up. “You know your way around the radio tower?“ Jesse asks Ellie, pointing to the first dot on the map. She shakes her head, no. “I know this route, I used to do go with Eugene.“ Dina speaks up and Jesse briefly looks at her before approving. “Alright, you and Ellie take over the west side, after you’re done you can check the village and go to the supermarket.“ “Are you sure you know the way?“ Joel stares at Dina and you can tell he’s worried, while Ellie lets out an annoyed huff. “I do, don´t worry Joel.“ Dina smiles and Maria claps her hands, getting everyones attention. “Alright, Joel and Tommy will cover the east side, you know your way around the hotel and lodge, right?“ Maria looks at her husband and Tommy elbows Joel who has a frown on his face. “We got this.“ “Y/N and I will go through to the city and forrest.“ Jesse and you make eye contact and you smile at him, nodding despite the nervous feeling in your stomach. “I´ll send a troop to clean the areas close around Jackson so you guys don’t have to do everything alone.“ Maria circles the lookouts on the map and slides it back towards the middle for everyone to see. “Everyone´s okay with this?“ She asks, rubbing her temples with her fingers. “Do we have another choice?“ Joel chuckles and starts pushing his chair back, you getting up as well. “Okay we will wait for the weather to clear up and leave in one or two days.“ Jesse starts putting his jacket back on and Ellie gets up with a sigh. “fucking infected.“ She mumbles while Dina walks over to her, a small smile framing her face. “Everything will be okay.“ She says goodbye to everyone and you wait for Joel to finish chatting with Tommy before walking back home. “This whole partner patrolling doesn’t sit right with me.“ Joel mumbles under his breath and you link your arm through his while you leave Tommys neighborhood. “Why?“ You cuddle into his side to block out the cold and Joel sighs, looking at his boots. “Dina and Ellie and Jesse and you together? It would have been better to pair you guys with Tommy or me. We know our way around and have more-“  “Hey.“ You interrupt him, stopping your tracks and standing in front of Joel to make him look at you. “Jesse is very responsible and wouldn’t do anything that puts us into unnecessary danger. Ellie knows her way with guns and Dina is a cautious person. We will be fine.“  You shrug your shoulders and Joel tilts his head to the side, scanning your flushed face. “I worry too much, don’t I?“ He lowers his head and you giggle, continuing your way home. “Yeah, you need to stop or you’ll get wrinkles from all the frowning.“ “I already have wrinkles.“ Joel furrows his brows and you laugh. “That´s cause you’re old.“ You tease and Joel mocks your laugh. “Ha ha, very funny. You’ll look like that one day, too.“ He nudges your side and you put on a serious face, eyes looking into his hazel ones. “Hopefully, and when I grow old its your turn to make fun of me.“ “I´d like to see that.“ Joel opens the door to your home and you slip inside, instantly shrugging your snowy jacket off and hanging it onto your wardrobe. “You want some Tea?“ You ask as you walk into the kitchen. Joel grunts and you hear his heavy boots walking upstairs, probably to change. You put some water onto the stove and prepare the tea leafs. You wait for the liquid to boil and pour it into two mugs, giving Joel the one with the owl on it. You make sure to grab the handles tight and make your way upstairs, squinting back and forth from the mugs to the stairs in front of you. “Joel?“ You shout as you gently kick the door to your bedroom open with your foot, only to find it empty. “In here, baby.“ Joels voice comes from somewhere behind you so you turn around and check the bathroom, finding it empty as well. It’s not until you hear the itching of a blade against wood that you groan at your own stupidness and go into Joels crafting room. There he sits, knife in one and a piece of wood in the other hand. “What are you working on?“ You ask as you sit down next to him, placing the mug onto the work plate. “That´s a surprise.“ He smiles at you and you take a sip of your tea, cursing when you burn your tongue. “Am I allowed to see?“ You try to peak over Joels hands but he covers most of the wood with his palm. “Don´t spoil yourself, it’s not finished yet.“ “How long have you been working on it?“ You hug Joel from behind and he drops the wood, quickly covering it with a cloth. “Started last week.“ He leans back into your chest and you rest your chin on top of his head. “I didn´t notice.“ You kiss his hairline and he runs his hands over your arms, holding your shoulders tight. “That was the plan baby.“ He chuckles and you play with the fabric of his shirt. “But now I know about it.“ You tease and Joel rotates his chair so he’s facing you. You stand in-between his legs as he holds your hips, massaging the soft flesh. “Also planned. I know how impatient you can be.“ He smirks and you gasp, slowly sitting down on his lap. “That´s torture!“ You hold onto his neck for support and Joel bounces his knee, urging you to inch closer. “It will be worth it.“ He nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck and starts placing kisses along your veins. “You´re getting my exceptions up.“ You say laughing while squirming away from his wet kisses. “Are you implying that its not enough that I made it? With love?“ He gives you puppy eyes and you push him away, standing up and grabbing your mug. “That´s always enough. I´m outside at the porch if you want to join.“ You turn around and Joel hums, turning his chair as well to continue his work. “I´ll come soon.“ 

You sit outside and inhale the cold winter air, legs crossed and arms leaned on the table as you continue to embroider a jacket you found some time ago. You hum a soft tune and are very cautious not to poke your thumb with the needle. Your tea is long finished and your body is getting more and more heavy when Joel joins you. “Evening madam.“ He lifts his imaginary hat and you look up, piercing the needle into your fingertip. “Ow!“ You drop the jacket and hold onto your thumb, glaring at Joel. “You scared me!“ You rub the irritated fingertip and Joel chuckles, sitting down across from you and picking up his guitar. “Sorry babe.“ He softly smiles at you and you put your stuff together, extending your arms. “Let me play, I’ve been practicing.“ “sure your thumb can take it?“ Joel teases and you roll your eyes, hiding a smile when he hands his precious guitar over to you. “If I continue to get better, I´m gonna need my own soon.“ You brag as you rest the painted wood on your lap. “convince me.“ Joel leans back in his chair and crosses his arms, eyes fixed on you. “I will.“ You bite your lip and look down, preparing to grab your chords when you already strum a side and a crooked sound escapes. “ups.“ You laugh nervously and wipe your sweaty hands on your jeans before trying again. “but I´m not singing.“ You briefly look at Joel and start playing the song he played you at your first evening together. “Not bad.“ Joel smiles proudly and you start bouncing your feet to the music, concentrating on pulling the right strings. “I´m still wobbly with this part, my fingers can´t spread that far.“ You frown and stop playing, but Joel stands up and simply stands behind you, grabbing your hands and placing his fingers over yours. “Let me help you.“ His hot breath tickles your ear and you watch as he presses your fingers back onto the neck of the guitar, changing the position for your index and ring finger. “Now try.“ He whispers and you strum the sides, beaming when it sounds right. “See, you can do it.“ He kisses your temple and you drop the guitar next to your chair, leaning to the right and quickly pulling Joel down to kiss you. “Thanks love.“ You mumble against his lips while he pushes his tongue past yours. His beard scratches against your cold face and you grab his cheeks, feeling the stubble itch in your palm. “Wanna go to bed?“ He pulls away and you nod, out of breath and with flushed cheeks. “I feel like an ice cube.“ You shiver as you get up and Joel laughs while grabbing his guitar, opening the door for you and stepping inside after you. “You know, once patrol is done, I have a little surprise for you.“ He cheekily kisses your neck and you squirm to the side, almost tripping on the steps. “Another one?“ You ask gasping. “I promised you a proper date, didn’t I?“ Joel pinches your sides and you grab his hands, pulling him up with you. “I thought you forgot.“ You happily look over your shoulder and Joel chuckles. “I didn´t. Just took me a while to find everything I need for it.“ He shrugs his shoulders and slips past you as he makes a line to the bathroom, you going into your bedroom to change. You lay in bed and wait for him, eyes wide open and staring at the small lamp in the corner. “Can I guess?“ You ask as soon as Joel returns and lays down next to you. He smells like soap and toothpaste and you instantly snuggle closer, head laying on his chest while your arm wraps around his torso. “No. I won´t budge.“ Joel closes his eyes and blindly switches the light off, trapping you in his arms afterwards. “Not even a little bit?“ You mindlessly play with Joels shirt and feel his chest rumble with laughter, before rising and sinking slowly again. “Go to sleep babe, you need to rest.“ He kisses your hairline and you huff, laying your hand flat on his stomach and finally closing your eyes. “You´re a tease.“ “You love me because of that, don’t deny it.“ Joel gently massages your back and you sigh. “Yeah I do.“ 

“Joel? Y/N?“ Loud banging on your door wakes you up and you groan, instantly covering your face with a pillow. “What time is it?“ You mumble sleepily as you roll over, not meeting any resistance. You frown and open your eyes, pillow slowly sliding down your face. “Joel?“ You reach out with your hand but it lands on an empty mattress, and you lean over his side to turn on the light. He´s nowhere to be seen, so you quickly get up and rub your eyes to get the sleep out of them. “I´m coming!“ You shout to the impatient visitor, its hamming against your door not slowing down. “One sec.“ You tiredly fumble with the lock and curse at the coldness on your naked feet. Now in front of you stands Tommy, fully dressed and with a rifle hanging over his shoulder. “Tommy?“ You ask confused, voice raspy from just waking up. The sun barely started to rise and the sky is still painted in darkish colors, making you wrap your arms around yourself. “Can I come in?“ Tommy cranes his neck to look past you and you nod, moving to make space for him. “Of course.“ You close the door after him and wrap your robes tighter around your body, feeling slightly exposed in your shorts and shirt. “Where´s Joel?“ Tommy asks as he rests his rifle on top of your dining table. You shrug your shoulders and open your mouth to say something, but another voice cuts you off. “I´m here.“ Joel comes walking down the steps, clothes covered in dust and wood splinters. “Maria is sending us out, the weather cleared up faster than expected. We´re meeting in one hour at the east gate.“ Tommy looks between you and Joel and an uneasy feeling settles in your stomach. “I thought we’d wait a couple days.“ You furrow your eyebrows and a  deep wrinkle forms on your forehead. “Change of plans.“ Tommy shrugs and Joel sighs, a deep hum coming from his throat. “One hour?“ He asks. Tommy nods and moves to leave again, grabbing his rifle and scratching it over the waxed surface. “I got to go and tell the others.“ He leaves without another word and you stand on your spot, arms hanging from your sides and body too tired to move. “That´s a bummer.“ You mumble as you rub your temple, Joel skipping down the steps and walking over to you. “Let´s get this over with. When we come back you’ll get your surprise.“ Joel wraps his arms around your neck and pulls you into a hug, your own arms winding around his waist. “You finished?“ You mumble against his chest, inhaling the strong scent of soap and dusty wood. “That´s why I got up early.“ He clears his throat and you look up, the tiniest smile forming on your lips. “You didn’t have to do that.“ You kiss the skin within your reach and Joel laughs softly, slowly loosening his grip on you. “I know, but I wanted to.“ His hands skim down to your back and sides, quickly slipping under your clothes and brushing over the naked skin. You shiver and straighten your shoulders, looking deeply into his eyes. “You and Tommy will be fine, right?“ You ask, voice dripping with worry. “of course, always are.“ Joel leans down and kisses you softly, no tongues, just lips moving in sync with each other. “Don´t worry baby, or you’ll get me worried again.“ Joel jokes to lighten the mood and you chuckle, kissing him one last time before pulling away. “Sorry, I’ll stop.“ You giggle when he attacks your cheek and jaw with kisses and his stubble brings your skin to life. It prickles and burns slightly at the same time, a sensation you’ve grown to love. “Joel you’re distracting me.“ You weakly push your hands against his chest and he pulls away, a smirk on his tired face. “Good.“ He is about to dip down again when you turn your head and make his lips land on your neck, gasping when you feel his teeth gazing your flesh. “I´m serious.“ You say with a giggle, grasping onto his bicep for support as your knees become wobbly. 

“We need to get ready.“ You breathe into his ear and Joel nods, teeth slowly sinking into the crook of your neck, surely leaving a mark. “I know.“ He calms the flesh with a kiss and pulls away, biting the inside of his cheek at your flushed expression. “You´re the death of me.“ You mumble with a weak smile and Joel retreats from you, slowly turning to walk into the kitchen and make breakfast. “If that is all.“ He winks and you shake your head laughing, walking up the stairs to get ready for the day. When you come down again, Joel is already sitting at the table and cuts some bread, mindlessly humming a tune you never heard him sing before. You creep up behind him and quickly kiss the back of his head before joining him on the table, giving your grumbling stomach the food he so desperately grumbles for. You barely get to clean your plates afterwards, when Joel places your backpack on the table with a heavy thud and calls out for you. “Y/N we have to go.“ He slides his own backpack on and you open the drain, letting the soapy water wash down and wiping your wet hands on a towel. “I´m coming!“ You quickly place Joels mug next to the sink to clean it later and join him in the dining room, grabbing your rifle and knife before putting on your jacket and backpack. “Can´t say I missed this.“ You groan as the strings sink into your shoulders, the weight of the weapons and your first aid kit heavy on your back. “You carrying stones in there or something?“ Joel asks with a half smile, handing you a pair of gloves you happily slide your hands into.“No, just the necessities.“ You step out of the comfort of your home and breathe in the cold ear, the munching of boots against snow ringing in your ears. “Alright.“ Joel sighs next to you, grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers. You look at him in disbelief, as its something he’s never done out in public before, but he looks straight ahead and starts walking. “Don´t look so surprised.“ He says bluntly as you keep staring at your intertwined hands while walking. “I´m not suprised, just happy.“ You respond instantly, holding his hand tighter and walking so close to him that your shoulders occasionally brush. “When this is all over-“You start, waving your free hand in front of your face. “How about we go into a museum? Ellie told me you showed her one with dinosaurs and space. I´d like to see it too.“ You look to the side to read any emotion in Joels face. He briefly looks at you and nods. “Sure, I think you’ll like it there.“ “Did you go to museums often? Before the outbreak, I mean.“ You ask casually, enjoying the conversation more than silence. “Yeah, you can bet Sarah made me go into every damn museum in our country. She loved them.“ He smiles sadly and you nod, comprehending what he just said. “Did you enjoy them, too?“ You ask after some time. “Some more than others.“ He looks at you with a crooked smile and licks his lips, the cold drying them out. “I´m more the movie guy.“ He adds after some thinking. You bite back a laugh and bite your tongue. “I haven´t noticed.“ You joke, implying on the endless nights you spent on the couch with some 80´s movie running in the background. You know Joel loves them, Ellie told you that long before Joel and you were even a thing. “I can´t help it I’m a guy with decent taste.“ He laughs and you rest your head against his shoulder, your temple brushing up and down with each step. “We´re almost there.“ You blurt out as you spot the others in the distance, horses already prepared and ready to get picked up. “I know.“ Joel stops and cups your cheek, making you look up at him. Your breaths mingle in the cold and you stare into his eyes, trying to simply take all of him in. “I love you.“ Joel whispers and dips his head down, meeting your lips in a sweet kiss. “I love you.“ You say back, swallowing down the anxious feeling in your chest and hugging Joel close. After some seconds of just standing there and sharing intimate kisses, you pull away and grab his hand again. “Let´s meet the others, it looks like they’re already waiting for us.“ 

——————-

Sorry for the wait, but I’m only now starting to feel better. I´m busying myself with writing tho, so the next chapter shouldn’t take too long :) we´re slowly coming to an end y´all, I´m not ready.. 

#tlou #tlou ellie #tlouedit #TLoU fanart #tlou joel #tlou2 #tlou2 fanart #tlou2 ff #tlou2 fanfic #tlou2 icons #tlou2 imagine #tlou2 x reader #Joel Miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanart #joel miller imagine #joel miller series

[theclawsareoutandthespotsareon]

👀👀👀 I FINALLY wrote something for Miraculous Ladybug.

Also whyyyyyy does Tumblr hate me it took forever to format this

Things that cannot be unsaid (a balcony to cry on)

Preview;

“It shouldn’t surprise me at this point,” Gabriel continued, “in these past few years you have made it clear to me that a failure is all you are ever going to be. The only redeeming quality you had was that you could have at least been a decent model, but you are a failure at that too! A disappointment and a failure, it’s no surprise Emilie left if it meant she could be free of the utter fucking failure her pathetic son has become!”

////

Gabriel takes things a step too far, and Adrian goes to the only place he’s ever felt safe.

///////

“Where have you been?” Those four words stopped Adrian cold, foot still half raised to the next step on the winding staircase in the foyer.

Adrian had finally gotten home after yet another akuma battle, Plagg so exhausted that Adrian had risked walking home rather than overtaxing his kwami. He had desperately hoped that Nathalie would let him get to his room without alerting his father, but it appeared that hope had been in vain. He saw her standing slightly behind his father now, who’s imposing figure stood directly between Adrian and his escape route to his room.

“I asked you where you have been” Gabriel practically spat, “and I dearly hope you have a satisfactory answer.”

“There was an akuma attack,” Adrian said after a moment, eyes focused just above his father, “I-”

“That is not good enough!” Gabriel’s voice was loud in the silent foyer, “You were supposed to come directly home after your photoshoot. A photoshoot you apparently never showed up at! Instead you were off with your needless school friends and costing my company hundreds of euros. Nathalie also informed me that you have been giving sub-par performances in all your lessons as well!” His father cast a quick glance at Nathalie who confirmed his statement with a nod, not sparing a glance at Adrian.

“I’m sorry Father.” Adrian said, voice small. He hated that. He could face down an army of Akuma that could and would kill him and crack jokes. But in front of his father, a man who Adrian could probably toss across the room in his civilian form, he was afraid to even look in the eye.

“As you should be,” Gabriel replied, turning to give his full (unwanted) attention back to Adrian. “Ever since you went galavanting off to Lycèe you’ve become nothing but a disappointment.”

Adrien just barely suppressed a flinch at Gabriel’s cutting words. More and more whenever he had the rare chance to see his father, in person or on that damn tablet, it was only so the former could berate Adrian about all his recent failures.

“It shouldn’t surprise me at this point,” Gabriel continued, “in these past few years you have made it clear to me that a failure is all you are ever going to be. The only redeeming quality you had was that you could have at least been a decent model, but you are a failure at that too! A disappointment and a failure, it’s no surprise Emilie left if it meant she could be free of the utter fucking failure her pathetic son has become!”

By the end of his tirade Gabriel was practically in Adrian’s face, and in trying to lean back Adrian’s foot slipped and he went crashing down the stairs, limbs flailing as his exhausted reflexes failed to respond.

At one point in his fall his chin had gotten slammed on the corner of a stair, and by the time he reached the bottom his freshly split lip was already welling up with blood. As Adrian lied there in shock blood slowly dropping onto the cold marble floor, he felt himself begin to tremble.

Looking up he immediately found his father’s cold eyes regarding him, filled with disappointment and loathing. Not a hint of remorse or kindness was left in his father's steely gaze, and when he turned slightly he saw that Nathalie held a similar expression.

“Pathetic,” was all his father said, and suddenly Adrian needed to get out.

With unquardenated limbs Adrian got slowly to his feet, chest heaving as his throat got tight and tears gathered in his eyes. There was only one place he could think to go at a moment like this, and for the millionth time he was so, so very grateful that he and ladybug had revealed their identities to each other months ago.

With one last glance at Gabriel, his father, Adrian turned-tail and fled out the door.

////

“...What have I done?” Gabriel’s voice shook once the sound of footsteps and slamming doors had faded, leaving the Agreste Mansion in horrified silence.

“Sir…” Nathalie couldn’t think of anything to say, still shocked by her own actions as well. “Let… let Adrian go for now. Going after him will only lead to you both saying more things you regret. For now we should look back over the potential Akuma plans we were talking about last week.”

“Yes, I um, you are correct Nathalie. Let’s head up to-” Gabriel cut off with a hiss, hand reaching up to clutch his tie, under which the Butterfly miraculous was practically scorching him.

“It’s, it must be Adrian. I should…” He shared a glance with Nathalie before slowly lowering his hand. “Let's go over those potential Akuma, Nooroo is too exhausted to make another tonight.”

“As you wish sir.” Nathalie replied softly, and together they made their way up to Gabriel’s office to plan. Besides, once they succeeded everything would be set back to the way it was supposed to be.

////

Ka-thump!

Marinette jolted upright from her uncomfortable position face-down on the desk in front of her computer, sending her abandoned homework fluttering to the floor as she brushed loose hair out of her face. She had spent the past half hour unsuccessfully trying to solve the first question on her physics homework, and had been in the process of falling asleep when the sudden sound from her balcony put her on high alert. She threw a quick glance to Tikki, who was sitting up tiredly from her little nest, half eaten cookie lying forgotten.

It had been a rough week. In total there had been twelve Akuma that had all taken at least two lucky charms and more than a few cataclysm’s to defeat, and each and every one had managed to land at least one devastating hit to both Ladybug and Chat Noir. They had just fought the last one no more than two hours ago, and she and Chat had practically collapsed onto each other when they had finally defeated it.

As she moved up to her bed Tikki flew and settled on her shoulder, half hidden in Marinette’s hair. “If this is another akuma,” Marinette muttered, “Hawkmoth needs a better freaking hobby.”

She paused before she opened her skylight, listening for any clues as to what out there, but besides the murmur of a passing car the streets were quiet. Marinette quietly pushed open the skylight, poking her head out while still making it so that she could slam it shut should something jump at her.

When nothing happened for several seconds Marinette had almost convinced herself that whatever it was had been a figment of her exhausted mind when the muffled sounds of sobbing reached her ears.

Alarmed Marinette pushed herself fully up onto her balcony and just about screamed at the sight that greeted her; Illuminated by the fairy lights she often forgot to turn off, Adrian Agreste was curled up in the smallest ball possible where railing met brick, sobbing into his hands as

Plagg hovered directly in front of him, trying to comfort him however he could.

“Plagg? Why- what happened?” Tikki’s high voice was shrill in Marinette’s ear, and caused the ting god to tiredly turn towards the two.

“Hey Sugarcube,” Plagg greated quietly, his sharp green eyes glanced quickly back at Adrian before he turned to address Marinette. “Wish we could meet again under better circumstances little bug- could you come help me out here? I’ll tell you everything you want to know while you get my Kit calmed down.”

Marinette gave a shaky nod in reply and slowly scooted over to where her partner was, stopping an arms length away as she took a moment to really see him. “What, what happened Plagg?” she repeated Tikki’s earlier question, slowly reaching one hand out but stopping abruptly when Adrian flinched from the motion. Seeing as her partner usually relished in any kind of physical contact, this further proved to Marinette that something was very wrong.

“His father is what happened,” Plagg said with disgust, “said a bunch of shitty things to my kit about how he’s a ‘disappointment’ and basically said that it was Adrian’s fault that his mom left!” By the end of it Plagg was fliting about like he was just holding himself back from rushing to the Agreste Manor and cataclysming Gabriel himself.

“Oh minou-” Marinette’s heart broke for her partner, and with slow movements she reached out once more and slowly and gently pulled Adrian’s hands down so she could properly see his face. The puffy, red-rimmed eyes and tear tracks she sadly expected, but the blood on his chin and hands was not. A split lip was still slowly oozing blood and several of his nails had been chipped and torn, prompting Marinette to once again look to Plagg for answers.

“Asshole practically pushed him down the stairs,” was Plaggs angry reply, “And when he ran over here he didn't bother to transform so he hurt himself climbing up here.” By the end of Plagg’s explanation Adrian was finally starting to come back to himself, and Marinette moved so she was sitting more comfortably in front of him, Tikki perched once again on her shoulder and Plagg going to curl up in Adrian’s messy hair.

“Hey kitty,” Marinette greeted softly, and as Adrian’s eyes slowly focused on her she continued in a low, calm tone, “gave me a bit of a scare there.” Suddenly she had an arm full of shaking Chat as her partner tried to burrow himself deeper into her shoulder.

“M’lady- Mari, I oh I couldn’t-” his voice broke off as he cried harder, “h-he said, he said I was a d- he said my mom-!”

“I know Kitten, I know. And you have to know that everything he said was a lie minou. You're not a disappointment to anyone. Without you I wouldn't be half the ladybug I could be,” she continued to soothe while rubbing small circles in his back.

“Let’s go sit somewhere a bit more comfortable, eh Chatton? I don't know about you but after that last Akuma sitting on the floor is probably the last thing I want to do.” She got a choked laugh in response, which Marinette considered it a win.

After a while and some careful maneuvering they were mostly settled on the small couch Marinette had moved out to her balcony after one too many nightly chats ended up with her and Adrian sprawled uncomfortably against the wall of her balcony. Adrian’s sobbs had dwindled down to the occasional sniffle as the four of them sat quietly and watched the darkening sky.

“Feel a bit better now?” Marinette eventually asked, shifting so she could look her exhausted partner in the eye.

“Yes, No, I just- kinda just feel empty,” Adrian admitted, reaching up to rub at his eyes and accidently smearing some of the mostly dried blood on his chin.

“Ok, well for now let's head inside so we can change and clean that blood off. in the morning we can talk with Mamam and papa and we'll go from there. There's no need to try and sort it all out now. Besides, I think my papa has some leftover Camembert from some danishes he was testing out.”

At the mention of cheese Plagg perked up slightly, and with a soft glance at Adrian he dragged Tikki along with him to help on his quest.

After a quick shared smile Adrian and Marinette slowly followed their kwami, supporting each other as they prepared to face their next challenge.

Because they were marinette and Adrian, but more importantly they were ladybug and chat noir. No matter the challenges they would face they would overcome them.

It was them against the world. Together.

#miraculous ladybug #ml #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #Plagg #Tikki #ml fic #ml angst #gabriel agreste #gabriel agreste A+parenting #adrienette #hurt/comfort #ml post reveal

[frighthouseofalighthouse]

I'm gonna do it. I'll take all the history asks for 500, Alex!

OKAy. I may have to reblog and do an add-on, because I will almost certainly go over the 250 paragraph limit. ALSO NICE JEOPARDY REFERNCE. Okay, ready? Go.

1: Historical role model?

We could all stand to be more like Julie D'Aubigny.

2: Favorite underrated historical figure?

See above.

3: Funniest historical kerfuffle?

In 1774 Boston's Committee of Safety (John and Samuel Adams as well as Joseph Warren and PaulRevere were on it) was made up almost entirely of patriots, except for one man: Daniel Leonard. They couldn't decide anything important with him around so they would have a fake meeting and then be like OKAY IT'S AUGUST WE'RE HOT AND TIRED, LET'S GO HOME, and then after he'd left they'd lock themselves in a room and have their REAL, TREASONOUS MEETING. Reading about this is objectively one of the funniest things I have ever heard. It's literally the beack house episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine where they have a fake party for Captain Holt.

4: Favorite conspiracy theory revolving around history?

Whatever the fuck the real story of the X FIles was (I've watched the whole thing multiple times and I still don't know what exactly what the point was. DOn't get me wrong I love it. It just makes no sense.)

5: Favorite political scandal to examine?

The XYZ Affair because I was there for it all and it's...a lot

6: Opinion on the presidential assassinations and their impact on America?

I answered this in depth last time I got that question and you can read my response here.

7: Which time period would you like to live in?

Either take me back to the revolution or put me in Victorian England (BARRING MEDICAL NONSENSE AND SOCIAL BARRIERS)

6 (again?!): Favorite historical fiction book?

See the assassination link!

8: Favorite tv show based on historical events, but not really faithful to real life?

Top choices are Outlander, TURN: Washington's Spies, Black Sails, and Ripper Street.

9: Favorite musical based on history?

*sarcasm* Definitely NOT Hamilton whaaaaaaat why would you even assume that?! Ahem. Also Les Mis is cool I guess.

10: Favorite movie based on history?

Wonder Woman!!!

11: Favorite biography?

The Swamp Fox by John Oller

12: If you could prevent one tragedy, which would you choose?

The Trump Administration.

13: Fun fact?

MLK and Anne Frank were born in the same year.

14: Favorite female monarch?

Cleopatra or Mary Queen of Scots.

15: Favorite war leader?

I'm biased but George Washington.

16: Favorite controversial leader?

Winston Churchill

17: Favorite feminist pioneer?

J U L I E D ' A U B I G N Y. Also Mary Read and ANne Bonney my queer pirate gals

18: Which president, in your opinion, was the best speaker?

No contest, Abraham Lincoln.

19: If you would travel back in time and kill anyone, who would it be?

Listen I’m not a fan of these questions when people are like “I’d kill Hitler” etc. bc butterfly effect, BUT The British officer who shot John Laurens can CATCH THESE MF HANDS

20: Opinion on each of the founding fathers?

Oh boy. This is an interesting question at this point in time because I am currently grappling with the fact that the people I worked with did not really believe in equality for all, and the system we built was designed to reflect this. However, it is a system that I believed in and put my everything towards so I have many conflicted feelings toward it rn. Anyway here's the low-down on the major ones. GEORGE WASHINGTON: Good guy, needed to loosen up and not be a slaveholder. JOHN ADAMS: old stinky man. Called me mushroom excrement once. Put him back in the swamp from whence he came. THOMAS JEFFERSON: Rapist. Slaveholder. Really stuffy. Founded an entire political party for People Who Don't Like Hamilton. Fuck him foreverrrr. JAMES MADISON: Friendly with me but betrayed me when Jefferson came back from France. 2/10, cute but do not trust him with your secrets or coffee order. JAMES MONROE: A teenager during the war and I barely ever saw him after that but he was fine ig. ALEXANDER HAMILTON: that me! Made mistakes but all around a cool(tm) guy. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: fresh funky and really funny. Cooler than you'd expect an old man with gout to be.

21: Which leader do you think would make the best spouse?

No leaders are good spouses bc superiority complex.

22: Most pointless war in your opinion?

All. But King Phillip's War was especially whack.

23: John Wilkes Booth - crazy or crazy with a cause?

I mean of course he had a cause, but it was a bad one and having a cause doesn't make him less crazy. He was...really yikes.

24: Why do you think Lee Harvey Oswald killed JFK and did he act alone?

Most certainly did not act alone. But I feel based on timeline of events and maps of the area that either he was paid off either by our own government or the Soviets, or one of the two set him up as a patsy. Then Jack Ruby was paid to cover up the tracks.

25: Opinion on assassinations of leaders in general?

Same as killing anyone else, I guess, murder is bad, and I don't think that's really the route that should be taken to remove dangerous parties from power. But in some cases it may be the only way of removing them, and, well, that is what it is.

26: Do you think we're going to repeat history because we haven't learned from it?

Always. It is constantly happening. There is nothing new.

27: Have you ever been teased for being a history nerd?

hahahahahahahahaha yeah. Ever since first grade.

28: Which historical figure do you think has been subject to the most fictionalization and elevated to a godlike status nowadays?

Due to the musical, Alexander Hamilton (me.) People need to realize that I wasn't perfect but also not evil. Just human.

29: Rant about your favorite topic?

See the other part of my Lincoln Assassination rant here

30: Favorite kids/teens history books?

The Dear America series and the Liberty's Kids novelizations are WHERE ITS AT.

31: How was your interest in history started?

I don't even know exactly when or how anymore. My mom's a book nerd and an archaeology/anthropology major, so I grew up in a house chock full of books, including history books. I've loved it ever since I could read, honestly.

32: Do you know a history professor?

I do not!

33: How did your favorite history teacher structure their class?

I was homeschooled so it was my mom. She made sure we covered every period, but other than that just let me pick out what interested me and what I wanted to read and explore. She read a ton of big historical books right alongside me and we'd discuss as we read. We still do this!

AND THAT'S THE HALFWAY POINT OF THESE. I HAVE TO GET READY FOR AN OVERNIGHT SHIFT AT WORK SOON SO I WILL LEAVE THIS HERE FOR NOW AND REBLOG WITH THE REST OF THEM UPDATED TOMORROW. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

#a series of essays anonymously published #history asks

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

and the rewatch continues

So rewatching most of season 5 and dipping into season 6, after coming from season 4, I found some things very interesting, things I actually had forgotten about and some that just hit differently now that the show has ended:

Season 4:

Brothers - different iterations: Had that finale happened after this season, it might have made better sense (though I STILL say the manner of Dean’s death is laughable)

Destiel & Cas: While Cas and Dean have some uncomfortable staring contests and there’s chemistry, I didn’t get the whole Destiel vibe (this is just my personal take), yes there’s a bond there, a growing partnership so to speak but I feel like Cas is not around enough for it to be in the forefront of the story or even to demand Dean’s attention in a way. Like Cas made his big entrance in 4x01 and we saw how things took off from there for the story and for this connection/bond between he and Dean but Dean is early season Dean and Cas is early season Cas. Though I found Cas’ interest in everything Dean Winchester to be intriguing (and he put Dean back together with his own hands, I just...this really does become the greatest love story ever told, I swear), I personally didn’t get the whole UST vibes that has been talked about. I actually found myself wanting to go deeper into Cas’ story (a la 6x20 style) aside from Dean’s and Sam’s. 

Anna: That whole night with Anna was purely that: a night. There wasn’t a whole lot of chemistry between Jensen and Julie and it’s very clear that this whole sex-on-last-night-on-earth thing is for comfort, for both characters. I kind of get why they switched up gears there for Dean’s angel role, even if they didn’t intend for Destiel to read as romantic at all initially. 4x09 & especially 4x10 were so obviously trying to ying and yang the brothers and the sides that had chosen them/complemented them: Anna | Ruby, Heaven | Hell -> eventually Michael | Lucifer. But back to Anna, while I enjoyed her character and would have loved to delve deeper with her, I am glad Cas was the one who got to stay. Anna and Dean had no chemistry, outside of a couple of glances before the big hookup/last night on Earth deal, there wasn’t really anything there. Tbf, they didn’t have a lot of private time before that, except maybe one convo. To me, in this scenario, Anna was a source of comfort (after she tells Dean he needs to forgive himself for what happened in Hell which I very much appreciated, someone had to tell him that) and attraction, letting her have her last night on Earth, a hookup, etc. But there was nothing deeper there. And for this bond with an angel to happen, there needed to be something deeper there. Perhaps had Anna been around longer and didn’t go the way she did in season 5, it might have but I honestly tend to doubt it. We all know Cas and Dean’s (Misha’s and Jensen’s) natural chemistry is off the charts. I’m not sure Anna (Julie) could have competed with that had both Cas and Anna stuck around together. I know I’m completely biased here, but I almost felt like Anna and Cas had more chemistry together, it might have been because they got more face time, I’m not sure. But I thoroughly enjoyed watching it all go down again.

Adam: Omg I forgot about how Adam wasn’t Adam when Dean and Sam first met him. That was heartbreaking on so many levels, but mostly for Adam and his mom dying the way they did and of course, for Dean and Sam. Namely Dean because he was the most affected by finding out about Adam’s existence. And I swear I fell in love with Dean more in that episode as a character because despite his pain, his anger, his hurt, he still tries to do the right thing by Adam, to honor his dad’s wishes. And John...that mf’er doesn’t deserve any of those boys as his sons. What an asshole through and through. 

Season 5:

Destiel & Cas: And now we see Cas becoming a bit more forefront and the vibe has changed...slightly. Now it’s a partnership turning into a friendship. Dean and Cas get a bit more face time and it shows. 5x03 was awesome and of course the wholly unnecessary line of “One, Bert and Ernie are gay” -- like where did that come from? I still loved it. It was tough to see Dean and Sam go their separate ways in the beginning but we still got some gold out of it with 5x03 and 5x04. And thankfully, we get more into not only more of the angel and apocalypse lore this season, but we also get to see how Cas’ relationship with the Winchesters is changing and more of what makes Cas tick as a character in his own right. And of course, bamf!Cas was very present. 

Brothers: Once again, had that finale happened after this season, it might have made more sense (sans the junk death) - because it’s very obvious that the co-dependency is alive and well here and it would have made more sense for their characters - while they have others outside of the two of them they are caring about (Bobby, Ellen, Jo just to name a few), it’s still the exclusive Winchester-only club. I truly enjoyed watching these two working together and moving towards the season finale. Dean’s memory of Sam and the fireworks, Dean talking about how Sam’s best memories weren’t the same as his (shocker, John Winchester is a d-bag, I’ll keep saying it), Dean struggling to make the decision to say yes to Michael, having to agree with the plan for Sam to say yes to Lucifer to try to trap the latter, Dean showing up to the cemetery -- all of it was incredible and the two of them were the beating heart of the show at that point. 5x22 will always be one of my favorite season finales for that show. It was pure awesomeness, truly epic and perfect.

Dean: holy hell, they really, really threw a lot into Dean this season - not that they hadn’t before, but damn. Each season just amps up the Dean game, just like I remember, and I am happily here for it again. No offense to Sam at all, but Dean is just so complex, so complicated yet straightforward, and there’s so many layers to him that they just keep peeling back and they feed us well each season. I swear, if you turned the sound off and just watched that scene where Dean tells Zachariah to call Michael, where Dean and Sam go their separate ways, you would know exactly everything Dean is feeling and thinking thanks to the incredible talent of one Mr. Jensen Ackles. Just really incredible. How this man never got nominated for an Emmy at any point for this show just astounds me. Yes, I know that show wasn’t considered a contender for that type of award run, but dammmnnnn. He deserves it and more. Watching this season and season 4 really brought back the original reasons I fell in love with Dean as a character in the first place. One of the best characters ever, I’m telling you. And may I just say, I hated that they brought back John’s leather jacket for him in the season finale but I get it, it was Kripke’s swan song (did I just do that? I believe I did) so we of course went back to core Winchester things, not just in story but every element. I’m ngl, I was so glad to see Dean shed it though when he is sitting down to dinner with Lisa and Ben.

Apocalypse: I thoroughly enjoyed this whole plot line - this really was high stakes, more than ever before, and though angels were dicks, there was Lucifer of course and a mysterious though mostly absent God behind the curtain - you just never knew what was going to be thrown at you next, just like the boys were going through.

Heaven/Mary: even though this definitely has to do with Dean more so, I did enjoy them seeing Ash and Pam, Ash’s setup, and of course Mary being there, seeing how such a good memory could be manipulated by the dick angels and the horrible things Mary said to Dean. Of course, I felt for Dean but it was interesting to see that whole scene play out. Plus we got even more confirmation of what we’ve known all along: John is a bonafide asshole and Dean really did experience facets of spousification, even before Mary died (which just makes me so sad for him, I swear if they don’t put a Cas vs John scene in the reboot... because you know Cas will win that thumb war)

Meg: ngl, I wasn’t really crazy about this iteration of Meg - I don’t mean Rachel Miner’s version, just this particular performance, which I chalk up to whoever decided they wanted her to go this route in her performance - I couldn’t believe it was the same character, the same actress - I am so glad the show/Rachel developed the character we all love to hate and secretly really love to how she was in later seasons

Jo: omg Jo. I have to admit, in season 2, in the first episode she showed up in, I despised her. She was like that bratty teenage kid who’s a real pain in the ass and whines and doesn’t get it. But after that episode, I grew to love her with each one she was in. She became a bamf in her own right and I loved seeing that come through this season especially. Her death was horrific (what is it with this show killing off bamf female hunters in such a gruesome way? it brought back horrible Eileen flashbacks for me personally, and for them to turn Meg and Ketch into somewhat redeemable characters after that... you know, I swear...) but heroic and I had never been more proud of my girl. Except the scene with Dean in the kitchen. As much as I love my chaotic hunter son, I was glad to see Jo flip him off in the way she did. So proud. And then her goodbye with Dean, I had forgotten exactly what he did so I was going “omg, she just saved you, Dean, this girl has feelings for you, she deserves at least a kiss, kiss her. right. the fuck. now!” and sure enough, he did, on the forehead, which I was like okay, well I get it, he doesn’t return those feelings but he does care about her but dammit, she deserved for him to plant one on her. and then he did and I was just gone, I was a complete bawling mess. And her goodbye scene with Ellen, and then her death along with Ellen’s sacrificing herself to stay by Jo’s side and give the boys a chance to get out of there...yeah, I didn’t stop crying for about five minutes. I cannot tell you how much I miss those characters and I would have sold someone else’s right arm to make their return in the series finale happen. Besides the obvious characters that should have been present, Ellen, Jo, and Ash deserved to be there (just not Samantha and Chad, if we can get a “Cas helped” for the third major character/lead, we can also get a “Ellen and Jo went to assist in setting up the honeymoon suite above the roadhouse - I said what I said).

John: usually, I cannot abide giving any time to this jerk, never mind talking about him, but I have to say I enjoyed seeing pre-loss John in 5x13. That conversation he has with Sam I think is so glaringly important. I know it was for Sam to forgive John and heal, but the fact that John himself is saying “how could he do that to you? he was supposed to protect you” -- yep, that was pure poetic cinema in my eyes. Because pre-loss John is right, how dare post-loss John do that to his boys? There’s no excuse anyone or this show can give him. As much as I love JDM, post-loss John Winchester will never be okay in my book.

Adam: omg Adam. First of all, I loved his dynamic with Sam and Dean. I really, really wish we could have had him around longer just for that alone. What an awesome character we could have had giving Dean and Sam a run for their money. “Well, we’re working on the power of love.” “How’s that going?” “Not so great.” -- give me an episode of the three brothers on a milk run hunt (sans generic mask-wearing vampmimes) with all of the fixings and I swear we would get done!Sam, consistently being roasted between Dean and Adam, and then Dean thinking he’s got a mutual now, a BFF, and Adam turning right around to roast him as well. It would be epic, I tell you, epic. I wish Adam had gotten a better end, this season and at the end of the series. He certainly deserved better. And this may be a random observation but why did Michael take Adam at all? I know the countdown had begun and he was desperate to grab a vessel so he could fight Lucifer at the appointed time and Dean was not giving in (that he knew of), but what chance of victory did he think he had without using his true vessel? Using that logic, I guess Michael’s end in the series makes more sense now...? Who knows.

Chuck: Swan Song (5x22) and the lines, “Endings are hard. Any chapped ass monkey with a keyboard can poop out a beginning but endings are impossible. You try to tie up every loose end but you never can. The fans are always gonna bitch. There’s always gonna be holes. And since it’s the ending, it’s all supposed to add up to something. I’m telling you, they’re a raging pain in the ass“ -- did anyone else feel like that was Kripke speaking or is it just me?

Season 6:

the whole Lisa thing: while it was nice to see Dean go domestic, I have to say I was more invested in Dean and Ben’s relationship development than I was with Dean and Lisa’s. The chemistry just wasn’t there, I have to be honest (he and Anna actually had more chemistry for a few minutes than he did with Lisa this whole season). I don’t doubt they loved each other, it was real, and Lisa was good for him at the time but it just didn’t have that spark. I loved Lisa as a character in her own right, but I was happy to see her and Dean eventually go their separate ways. Though my heart broke for Ben on that one. He and Dean really had a whole father-son bond happening there. I appreciated that when Ben called him, even that one time that nothing was really wrong, Dean dropped everything and headed right over. They had a bond of their own happening outside of Dean and Lisa’s. I think Dean ultimately made the right choice in the end to keep Lisa and Ben safe (though they should have been able to choose if they wanted this), but God did that cost him and we see it in that scene outside of the hospital with Sam. How much that hurt for him, and for us to see how it killed him to do it. I’m still grateful that he got to see what the domestic life was like and that he got a reprieve from hunting for a bit. It made complete sense as to why Cas didn’t want to pull him back in to ask for help with Raphael.

Destiel: Welp, now there’s definitely an emotional relationship happening. Meaning the bond has become even more forefront and not only is Dean affected, but we also see that Cas is, too. Dean’s reaction to finding out Cas was working with Crowley the whole time, Cas’ reaction to Dean choosing to save the two boys instead of focusing on finding Eve, Cas’ reaction to Dean’s stance on the Crowley situation, Dean’s finding out Crowley kidnapped Lisa and Ben, Cas asking Dean to trust him, Dean seeing Cas becoming the new God and needing to summon Death, etc. It was fantastic. While it hurt during some moments, I enjoyed seeing the dynamics and reactions to these situations play out. This is definitely a friendship now, a family relationship formed (and still forming) like Dean says in 6x20. Imho, Jensen and Misha knocked it out of the park this season when it came to that relationship. I loved it.

Cas: holy hell, 6x20 has become one of my all-time favorite episodes of SPN. I loved seeing Cas’ POV. Cas was already a fave character of mine but this episode made me fall in love with him all over again. This was incredible and I’m so thankful they fed us so well with this one. I really enjoyed seeing Cas as a character stepping into the forefront, right there with Dean and Sam. Yes, he was a part of TFW before this, but you have to admit that in this season, it becomes a whole new ball game. Really amazing stuff and of course, Misha slayed it all.

Meg & Megstiel: I was so happy to see the iteration of Meg return that we know from later seasons. Maybe I’m just too used to that version but to me this felt more effortless for the character and for Rachel, that really let both shine. Personally, I’m not a Megstiel shipper. While I love their dynamic, it just isn’t there for me, but I really did enjoy their scenes together. Cas felt as if he needed a little shaking up so to speak so I think she was perfect for that. Plus, I have a hard time forgiving those in the show that sic Hellhounds on my bamf female hunters so that might be partially the reason for my bias, just saying. (I never really forgave Ketch either)

Samuel...& Co: I just...why? Don’t get me wrong, I liked Mitch but this felt a bit...I don’t know...off? Other than some place for Soulless!Sam to go while Dean was playing house and for nabbing Alphas for Crowley, I don’t get what the point of this story line was? Was it to show us that Mary’s dad was a d-bag? Check. Was it to show us how people sometimes make the worst decisions when it comes to their family? Double check. Like, we kind of already got that and it was just unnecessary confirmation if that makes sense. And the thing that kills me is that Samuel was in Hell (or goes to Hell, I kind of did other things in the background during that arc) but he loved his daughter enough to betray her sons and do the wrong thing but John gets to go to Heaven? This still confounds me. Though I enjoyed Gwen and it was a shame she couldn’t be a family contact in another state for the boys later on to pop up every now and then.

Soulless!Sam: I enjoyed this part of Sam’s arc but I won’t lie, I was relieved like everyone else when he finally got his soul back though waited with bated breath for the other shoe to drop. But it was interesting to see this side of Sam.

Dad!Dean: I know I mentioned Dean and Ben above, but that one episode with the shifter!baby, that was priceless and God, did I love it.

I just loved going back to this for both boys

#spn posts #spn rewatch #episode mentions #spn 5x03 #spn 5x04 #spn 6x20 #spn 5x22 #spn 4x19 #spn 5x13 #spn 5x19 #this was in my drafts #i'm kicking it out #spn season 4 #spn season 5 #spn season 6 #destiel mention #anti john winchester #dean winchester

[raccdog]

UNHEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS (Part 5)

(NOW ON AO3!)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Adrien laughed at the joke Nino had just told him. He was eating lunch with him and Alya, on one of those rare occasions where his father let him have some free time. The girl was going through her mobile phone, a slight frown on her face. She was sitting on the opposite side of the table, right in front of her boyfriend Nino, the space to her side empty as they waited for their fourth friend.

Adrien smiled to himself. He was glad he had made up with Marinette yesterday. He had spent the rest of the evening with her and Luka and it had been the most fun he’d had in a very long time. He had tried the tea -he had almost barfed from the pungent smell,- played videogames, sang to Disney songs as Luka played them with his guitar and most importantly, he had eaten a good deal of baked goods. That night when he had gotten into bed his stomach had been as full as his heart. The warmth of the bakery following him to his cold sheets and never leaving. One of the perks of being friends with Marinette was that, he supposed.

“Hey guys what do you think about the way Ladybug’s been acting,” Alya’s sudden question pulled him from his reverie. “What do you mean?” The blond asked, wincing inwardly. He had been avoiding the heroine, choosing the patrol routes he knew were more uncommon and not meeting up with her before or after them. She had tried calling him at the beginning, but after his avoidance she stopped, just sending curt messages in case of akuma attacks.

He knew he was acting childishly, but he couldn’t help it. Their last argument had left a bad taste in his mouth and he dreaded talking to her again, in fear of another vicious altercation happening between them. This was not the time for in-fighting either. With Master Fu and Chloe gone, and the miraculous in Hawkmoth’s possession the Parisian heroes needed to stay together more than ever.

“It’s just, there are so many reports of civilians seeing Ladybug out on patrol, even during the day too,” Alya explained. “She’s never been that active before. It’s as if she was looking for something.” Adrien frowned at that. That’d make sense actually. Maybe Ladybug had been trying to locate Master Fu’s or Hawkmoth’s location?

Deep in thought, he didn’t see a black-haired girl rushing towards them.

“I’m sorry I’m late guys!” Marinette panted behind him, startling him. “I had to talk to a teacher beforehand and I couldn’t find them anywhere.”

“Girl were you running the whole time? You look like you’ve just ran a marathon,” Alya commented worriedly, her eyes scrutinizing the other teenager. Adrien agreed. Marinette was heaving loudly, sweat running down her skin, her expression pained.

“Yeah...I didn’t want to be late to lunch,” she groaned, sitting down besides the brunette, sighing in relief as she rested, eyes closed.

The rest of the day was pretty boring, even by Adrien’s standards. The only thing he looked forwards to was his evening meeting with Kagami after fencing class.

They walked down the Seine, ice cream in hand, making small talk. Kagami hadn’t made any advances on him this time though, and Adrien felt guilty when that made him sag with relief. He liked Kagami’s company and wanted to spend time with her, but he’d be lying if he said the idea of kissing her felt... off.

It’s not that he didn’t find her beautiful, as she was ridiculously his type, but the idea of intimacy with her put him off for whatever reason. He hadn’t voiced his worries with her yet, too afraid of the consequences. Maybe it was a bit selfish of him, but he still wanted to hang out with her. If he could prolong this as long as she’d let them without any further need for intimacy, he’d try his luck, as bad as it was. He was sure the ache for close affection would appear eventually anyway, so it was only a matter of time.

“Hey, is that Ladybug?” Kagami said, looking up towards the roofs a block ahead of them. Soon enough, a flash of red could be seen jumping across Paris’ roofs. Adrien tensed for a second when she stopped and looked down, her eyes fixating on the pair for a minute before she took off, running and jumping away once again.

“I wonder what’s she doing here,” Kagami wondered aloud. “Do you think there’s any trouble?” Adrien only shook his head, anxiety crawling like bugs under his skin. “There hasn’t been any akuma alerts yet, there’s probably nothing wrong,” he told her.

But as they resumed walking his mind was filled with doubt. Something was wrong, very terribly wrong.

It was midnight when he decided to go patrolling. He was planning on talking with Ladybug today. Alya was right. The superheroine had been seen at all hours several days in a row. She was probably overworking herself again. Whatever she was doing seemed important and he couldn’t let his own pettiness get in the way of their hero responsibilities any longer.

It was almost an hour later when he decided that Ladybug wouldn’t show up tonight. Cursing his luck, he moved to a more deserted part of the city. There were plenty of abandoned sheds and factories there, where they had fought Copycat a long while ago. That would be his last stop before he gave up.

Of course the night he finally decided to meet and talk with her was the night she chose to take a break. Karma had decided to bite him in the rear, apparently. Grumbling, he paused on top of a large abandoned warehouse to check his baton. Maybe he could check his messaged and try to call her? But just before he could dial Ladybug a whiff of a familiar scent made him halt.

That smell... But it couldn’t be her. What could she possibly be doing here, so far from home? And at this hour too?

Bristling slightly he followed his nose, and soon he found the cause of his displeasure a few meters down the street, walking and scribbling away on her notebook, not even looking up. Was she crazy? Didn’t she know how dangerous it was for a girl like her to be walking alone at this hour, on a pretty deserted zone no less? With his baton’s help he leaped from the top of the warehouse, landing right in front of her and making her shriek in fright.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He chided, a growl rumbling in his throat.

“Chat Noir! You almost gave me a heart attack!” She complained, her hand on her chest.

“Don’t even start!” He yelled back, anger and worry pouring out. “What are you doing here? At this hour too!”

“Well I-”

“Do you know how dangerous it is for you to walk alone at night? And you weren’t even paying attention! What if something happened to you!”

The girl only rolled her eyes, making him flare in annoyance. “Ok mom,” she retorted, not looking at him. Chat Noir gasped indignantly. “Marinette! Don’t give me that!” He roared. “Are you out of your mind?” He waited for her to say something, his eyes searching hers, but she was still pouting and looking away from him. “What happened? What could possibly be enough of a reason for you to be fucking here!” She flinched at his cursing, making Adrien feel kind of bad for rising his voice, but at the moment he couldn’t care. She still kept silent.

“Tell me!”

“I needed inspiration for designing!” She finally screamed, her glare turned to him. Adrien felt himself take a few steps backwards, her explanation muddled by his worried and anxious thoughts.

“D-designing?” He whispered in disbelief. She was this far from home in the middle of the night just for that? He felt himself grow dizzy as he shook his head. He had to sit down before he blacked out.

“Are you trying to kill me princess?” Chat Noir sighed as he leaned down on the sidewalk, his head between his hands as he closed his eyes, the panic from before receding. He had been so unsettled with the idea of Marinette walking the shadows all alone and unprotected. “You can’t do this to me Mari, I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you,” He confessed, his voice trembling as his shoulders shook slightly.

Chat Noir heard her approach but he didn’t move. He couldn’t. Even as she sat down beside him and embraced him sideways he still couldn’t.

“I’m sorry,” her voice said in his ear. “I didn’t mean to make you so worried.”

They stood there for a while, neither of them saying anything. Chat Noir found comfort in her warm embrace. She was still there with him. She was ok. Nothing bad had happened to her. He sighed, tension finally leaving his shoulders. He returned the hug, savoring the way her body felt against his. Marinette hugs were pleasant and cozy. He wished he could get them more often, both as his superhero-self and as his civilian-self.

Finally deciding it was late enough, he stood up slowly, grabbing her hands as he went so that she followed after him.

“Come on princess, let’s get you home,” he said, Marinette nodding and stepping closer, her expression a mix of guilty and tired.

The journey to the bakery was a quiet one. Her arms around his neck held him tight as he carried her bridal-style. Chat Noir saw the bakery come closer as he jumped from house to house in mild disillusionment. He wanted to stay like that a bit longer. Keep her in his arms just for a couple of hours more, the moment unbroken. He knew she’d be safe that way at least. But, it was very late, and he didn’t have the luxury to be selfish right now. Because that’s what he was. Selfish.

Soon they landed on her terrace and she stepped down, luckily for him without her noticing the grabby motion his hands had made unthinkingly after they separated. They stood like that for a minute, neither of them sure of what to say. He searched her eyes and so did she. Her blue eyes glowed especially tonight, her gaze mysterious and bright, but so tired. He hated seeing her like that. So drained. He’d give her his own energy if he could.

Not being able to resist anymore, he stepped closer, holding her arms gently.

“Promise me you’ll never put yourself in danger like that princess,” he begged. Her eyes widened at his words, and an odd expression he couldn’t read crossed her face.

“Chat I can’t-” But he cut her off. “Please promise me Marinette,” he murmured, resting his forehead on top of her head. She just stayed silent for a while, before hesitantly nodding, making him slump in relief.

He untangled himself from her, his face feeling warm as he smiled softly down at her. Her face remained conflicted and oddly unreadable, but her promise was enough. He turned to go back to his house, barely reaching the rails before soft fingers around his leather-clad hand stopped him.

He looked at her once again, her bluebell eyes wide and bright. Too bright. They were almost gleaming. Before he could ask her if she was ok she spoke. “Chat I’m...” she started before her mouth snapped shut. She stared at him, her eyes darting all over his face. He waited for her to continue, not wanting to make her more upset than she appeared, and it seemed like whatever she was to say was of big importance. The magic was abruptly cut when she smiled, softly shaking her head as she closed her eyes, which made him blink in surprise. He had been so entranced in her deep sapphires it’d felt like a shock when they disappeared behind her eyelids.

A mild chuckle left her rosy lips, and he felt his eyes immediately zeroing on them, his face warming up even more. She looked at him once again, appearing resigned for some reason. “Nevermind Chat,” she said. “I’ll tell you another time.” She let go of his hand.

“Goodnight Chat Noir.” She whispered.

“Goodnight, princess,” He answered, frowning, but parting ways nonetheless.

As he leaped away, he couldn’t help but feel like she had meant that goodbye to be a final farewell. And he hated it.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

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[katybaby00]

Life as I knew it

Pairings: Young!Dean x reader (underage), Dean x reader (tiny) age gap, season 3 Dean.

Warnings: NSFW, (MoC), tiny bit of angst of you squint, definite slow burn, slight dub-con, smut, that’s it. 18+ there is the sex!

Authors note: alright! So before you read you must know that this is my first story I’m ever posting. So yes this is an original piece! I’ve wrote before when I was like 13-14 but that’s just... scary to think about. So!! My inbox and page are always open for your requests and criticism as well. Also everything in italics are flash backs! Enjoy my loves!

Word count: 5,176

(GIF is not mine)

You knew it was wrong. You knew that working woth the Winchester’s was a bad idea.

Your father, Clint, was a wonderful man. Sweet, kind, honest, and trustworthy. He had grown up with John Winchester. They were inseparable, "attached at the hip" as my mother, Grace, used to say. My mother and I had always stayed home when my father went on "business trips". That's how I had grown up with Dean, him being only 5 years older than me. My mother and I were always over at John and Mary's home. My mom and Mary became close friends. Mary and her would talk about where my dad was when John was busy with us kids, not wanting him to know of his "job". Dean and I became very close very fast. Him and those damn green eyes. I developed a very large crush on the boy at a very young age. I guess it just never went away. John had no clue about the hunting life until the night Mary died. He started hunting and dragging his boys along with him.

Naturally Sam and Dean spent a lot of time around my family. It was mainly the boys and my mother and I, because John would almost always convince my father to go with him. When I turned 11, my father died. He was in a car accident involving a drunk driver. We always thought he would go out hunting. My mother died at the hands of a demon when I was 15. I have been on my own ever since.

~Present~

Another town. Another demon. Another case. Time just seemed to blur by. Drinking, fucking, and hunting. Rinse and repeat. Nothing special. Being 25 now, I knew I wasn't going to settle down and have the "apple pie life".

Quietly my phone started buzzing on the bathroom counter, Bobby Singer, "What the hell could he want at this hour?" I thought out loud. "Hey Bobby, how have you been?" I said while spitting my toothpaste into the sink. "Hey Y/N, I was wondering if you have heard from Sam or Dean?" "No Bobby, Dean is an ass who left me on my porch crying, and Sam is too tall for his own good, so it's been a couple years since I have seen or heard of them. Why?" Bobby sighs on the other end, "I was afraid of that, they got into some trouble down in Mississippi, haven't returned my million phone calls. Was wondering if maybe you could pop on down and check on them?" I could hear the silent pleading in his tone. I know this is going to be a bad idea. "Yeah, I guess i can. Anything for you Bobby. I'll call if things get too out of control." He laughs happily, "Okay Y/N, thank you, I owe you one." "Damn right you do Singer. Now, what town?" "They are in Ocean Springs, at the Siegel Select Gautier motel, right off Route 90. That's the last I heard. Room 19. Let me know what you find." You write down the address on an old piece of paper from the motel. "Thanks Bobby."

As you head out on your quest to save these fucking Winchesters, you turn up the radio and blast some boy band that's got you hooked. Your phone starts buzzing in your pocket. Dean Winchester... "Son of a bitch!" Picking up the phone you put it to your ear, "Y/N, I need your help, it's Sam." You scoff into the phone, "I swear to god Dean! You always think you need me to help clean up your mess! Ever since we were fucking kids! But since it's Sam... I guess I have no choice. Right?" Dean is hesitant at first and then he finally breathes, "Y/N, I'm sorry for all of the things that have happened in the past. I'm not the same person I was back then and I am so fucking sorry for everything," He takes a deep breathe, "please help me?" Taking a deep breathe, you sigh, "Dean I'm on my way now. Bobby called me and said you probably would need my help. So I packed my shit and I'm on my way. Don't get mushy and shit about it." Dean chuckles into the speaker. "Okay. You know I don't do that chick-flick bullshit. I'll see you when you get here. Bye Y/N." You pause, "Bye dean," He hung up the phone, "I love you...".

Pulling into the motel in this shit-hole town, you see the Impala in all her glory parked in front of room 19. Parking right next to the beautiful car. Getting out of your shit-box truck Bobby had given you for your 16th birthday. You patted the top of baby, "Hey sweetheart. You look good." You said as you walked past the car.

Tomorrow is your 18th birthday. Ever since your family died and you were left alone you never really celebrated. That was until this year. You were sitting on the front porch listening to the summer breeze wrestle the trees when you heard the sound of a familiar engine rolling up your driveway. As usual, Dean was behind the wheel and Sam in the front seat. They looked older. Dean looked very… mature. Sam is still the tall and goofy giant he has always been. I have missed them. Mainly Dean.

Stepping out of the car Dean grabs you in a big hug lifting you off the ground. You breathe him in and your stomach clenches. Whiskey, gunpowder, and leather. “I missed you D.” He chuckled deeply and you felt the rumble in your chest, “I missed you too sweetheart.” The nickname makes your cheeks heat up. He put you down and Sam wrapped you in a hug and you both said you missed each other. “What are you guys doing here?” Following them to the trunk. “We wouldn’t miss your 18th birthday for the world Y/N, and besides, you’ve always made the best pie.” That made Sam let out a chuckle. “You guys really didn’t have to come, it wouldn’t be the first birthday I've spent alone.” Trailing off you started walking to the house. Sam stops in front of you, “Y/N, we know how hard it is spending birthdays, christmases, and thanksgivings alone. This is a big birthday for you and we wanted you to have a good one. So that's why we are here.” He looks at you sincerely. Dean comes up next to you, and puts his hands on your shoulders, slightly rubbing, and it sends shivers down your spine. “Thanks guys. I appreciate it.” Smiling genuinely.

Once inside and the boys being settled into their spare rooms. You grab your mother's old cook book and get to work on one of the boys favorite to have when they used to come over. Sam comes to stand in the doorway leaning against the frame, “Hey, you need some help?” You turn around and look at him, “As long as you don’t get in my way Winchester, you can chop some tomatoes.” “Sounds like a plan boss.” He says while he shoots you a wink. Sam has never made you uncomfortable. Being almost the same age you guys had always been best friends. That is one thing that has never changed, and hopefully never will.

Finishing up dinner you call for Dean to come eat but he doesn’t respond. That’s odd, you thought. “I’m going to get Dean, I’ll be right back.” Walking up the stairs you go past your room and then Sam’s. As you get to Dean’s door and are about to knock you hear grunting on the other side. Taking a few steps back and then putting your ear to the door you hear Dean breathing heavily. Grunts and moans coming from his mouth. “Oh… fuck… Y/N.” You take a couple steps back from the door. Never in a million years would you think that Dean fucking Winchester would be interested in you. Knowing EXACTLY what he is doing in there. You knock. “Shit, h-hold on. One second.” “Hey D, dinner is ready.” Dean slaps his hand on his thigh, probably hoping you didn’t hear what he had just been doing. “Yeah, okay, I’ll be down in just a second.”

Sitting at the dinner table you try not to stare a hole through Dean. wondering that maybe you probably just imagined the whole thing. ‘Damn you are really going to have to get a hold of this crush Y/N’ which you thought you had said in your head but apparently the whole table had heard. “What was that Y/N?” You’re in shock. You don’t know what to say, “O-oh n-nothing, just thinking.” Sam leans over and puts his hand on yours. “Whatever it is, you can tell us, we are practically your big brothers.” He said with a chuckle. Well damn Sam way to punch me in the gut like that. Dean sits at the end of the table nursing his beer. “Do you guys want dessert? I made pie.” Dean immediately perks up. “Hell yeah we want pie. Are you kidding?” Getting up to grab the pie off the counter, you can feel someone staring holes into the back of your head. ‘I wonder who that could be‘. Turning around you catch Dean's eyes staring right at your ass. “You know what. You boys enjoy your pie. I’m going to go shower and get in bed. It's been a long day.” You gave Sam a goodnight kiss on the forehead and patted Dean's shoulder.

After showering and putting on some cozy pajamas you walk back to your room and find that your bed is not so empty. “Dean?” He jumps when he hears you. “What are you doing… in my bed?” He stares at you and walks towards you. He wraps you into a big hug and kisses the top of your head. “I just wanted to be the first one to tell you Happy Birthday.” Looking over at the clock on your nightstand you realize it’s 12:02, “Oh D, thank you.” “You should get some sleep sweetheart. You’ve got a big day tomorrow. Goodnight Y/N.” You squeeze him back. “Goodnight D.”

You awoke the next morning to the smell of fresh coffee, bacon, eggs, toast, and pancakes. Wondering who was cooking that amazing food in your kitchen. Turning into the kitchen your eyes go wide at the freshly squeezed orange juice, fresh cut strawberries, pineapple, kiwi, and cantaloupe. Taking a strawberry off the table you take a bite and look at everything else. “Oh! Good morning Y/N, how did you sleep?” Sam came into the kitchen wearing his grey sleep pants and a white cotton shirt. “Happy birthday Y/N. I see Dean has out done himself this morning.” “Yeah, you’re definitely not wrong. Speaking of Dean. Where is he?” Just as you said that he comes into the kitchen in plaid pajama pants, black T-shirt, and a kiss the cook apron. “Good morning sleepy heads!” He bellowed in excitement. “D, did you do all of this by yourself?” He grabs you in a side hug and squeezes a little. “I sure did. It’s your 18th birthday. You deserve nothing but the best sweetheart. Now sit and eat. We've got plans today.” You sit in your usual spot, grabbing eggs, bacon, and pancakes topped with strawberries. You dug in and caught Dean stealing quick little glances at you while you shovel your face full of the delicious food. Sam is looking between the two of you, almost knowingly. “So guys, what’s the plan for today? I need to know so I can either wear shorts or a dress.” Dean chokes a little on his eggs and washes it down with a gulp of coffee. “Sorry about that,” He chuckles, “we have decided that you’re going to go hunting with us. Simple salt and burn. For your birthday.” Tears welled into your eyes. You sniffed because you always thought your father would have taken you. But now you’re sitting here with the Winchester’s, they tell you that you’re going hunting for your birthday. Your mind was trying to wrap around it. “I would love that so much!” You jumped up wrapping your arms around Dean’s neck and he pulled you into his lap. Making your cheeks heat up. You kissed his cheek and walked over to Sam wrapping your arms around him too. “Well come on guys let’s go!” “Woah, hold on there Y/N. we have to get all of our bags and things packed. I need to make sure baby is in tip top shape before we just hop on the road. So Sam is taking you into town to get you some boots and some pants and other things that you might need.” You chuckle and walk to the hallway closet, open the door, and flip on the light, “Dean, trust me. I am more than prepared for this occasion.” He walks up to the closet that is covered with warding symbols and sigils of all kinds. Guns, knives, lore books, and holy water line the shelves neatly. Your dad’s journal at the very top. “You did all this yourself?” You nod. “Well I’m impressed. Right Sammy?” Sam clears his throat and walks over to the closet where you and Dean are standing. “This is most definitely impressive.”

Walking up to room 19 you sigh before you knock knowing who is on the other side. Knock. Knock. The door swings open before you have time to even get a word out, you are wrapped in a rib crushing hug. “Oh my god! Dean. let me go. I can’t,” gasping for air he loosened his grip. “Breathe. I missed you too.” Saying those words felt like a kick to the chest. You knew he didn’t feel the same way you always have. Maybe when you were younger. But definitely not now. “Alright. Let’s get down to business so I can get out of here.” setting your bag down on one of the dusty motel beds. Dean frowns. Not knowing what to think. “Why do you say that? Haven’t missed me?” You chuckle turning to look at him, “Dean. You can’t be serious? It’s been 7 years, you have obviously already forgotten. So I won’t bring it up again. We can talk about it when you remember how you left.”

He just stares at you. He walks over to the fridge, grabs a beer and tosses you one too. “Alright,” he began, “Sam fell into hell, h-” You choke on your beer and spit it onto the floor. Interrupting him. “He WHAT?!”, Dean fucking Winchester. You better be pulling my fucking leg because if you aren’t I swear to god I will shoot you.” Dean stares at you with wide eyes. Thinking of his response carefully. You can practically see the gears turning in his head. “He fell into hell. More like Adam dragged him down with him. He slipped and now he’s down there. I have been up day and night thinking of what I can do to try and save him. He told me to go and have a normal life, go find Lisa and Ben. But, I can’t give up on my baby brother like that. He didn’t give up on me when I was in hell.” You walk over to him. “Don’t you think you should at least try to have a normal life? For Sam?” He looks at you, tears in his eyes. You’ve never seen this man cry. “I want him back. I don’t want to just give up like that.” “Dean if he told you he wanted you to try and have that life. Then I think you should at least give it the old college try. Go find Lisa and Ben.” He stands, turns to you and pulls you into another hug. “I don’t want Lisa or Ben, I want you.”

When you arrived in some small town in Texas you stepped out to stretch your legs. “You guys hungry? We could get pizza?” Your mouth starts salivating at the thought of a greasy piece of pizza. “That sounds really good.” “You guys can get a pizza, but make sure you grab me a salad too.” Sam says. You laugh at the green giant. Following Sam and Dean into the motel room you see that there are only 2 queen beds. “Rock, paper, scissors for who gets the beds. Whoever loses takes the floor.” Dean looks at Sam with question all in his eyes, “How about the losers have to share a bed?” Sam deadpans. You roll your eyes and stick your hands up, ready to win. In the end Sam won and you and Dean ended up sleeping together.

Later that night while you were about to hop in bed you see Dean put a pillow next to him in the middle of the bed. “Wow Dean. I don’t have cooties you jerk.” “Oh, no, sorry. It’ll just be… safer this way.” You’re definitely confused but you just shrug and climb into the scratchy sheets. Back pressed against the pillow and you can hear Deans breathing start to even out. You slowly sit up to see that he’s asleep and you let the silent tear roll down your cheek.

In the morning you stir awake but only to find that Dean had thrown the pillow to the floor and is down cuddling you. You can feel the slow rise and fall of his chest and his breath fan across your neck leaving goosebumps in its wake. You try to move. To untangle yourself from his hold. To no avail of course, everytime you would try and get away he would just pull you closer. Not realizing until he pressed his hips to your ass. He was hard as a rock. You let a slight whine fall from your lips which must have woke him up because as soon as it happened his whole body went stiff pushing away from you. “Y/n, I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” You jerk away from his grasp. “Thanks for making me feel better Dean!” Slamming the bathroom door you sit down and cry into your hands. ‘How could he not see it. How could he just push me away. I’m 18. I’m not a child anymore. I haven’t been since my parents died.’ You get up off of the floor and open the bathroom door to see Sam gone, and Dean sitting on the edge of the bed, hands in his hair. “I’m going to take a shower, or do I need your permission since you think I’m still a child.” You say as you walk over to your bag on your side of the bed. “Y/n, I never said I thought you were a child. I’m sorry about cuddling you this morning. But I can’t do that to you. You just turned 18 yesterday. I would be taking advantage of you.” “Wow Dean. You know you would think that all the experience you have with women you would know when one was interested in you. I know that I just turned 18 Dean. But guess what? I don’t care if you’re older than me. You could be 10 years older than me and I wouldn’t care. But seeing you literally push me away this morning gives me my answer.” Grabbing your clothes out of your bag you walk into the bathroom slamming the door before Dean could say another word. When you come out dressed and ready to go Sam is back and greets you before walking into the bathroom. “I’m going to grab coffee. Need anything?” Dean just shakes his head. You scoff and walk out.

While in the car with the boys you in the backseat Sam and Dean are discussing the plan for tonight. ‘Simple salt and burn Y/n. Simple salt and burn.’ Trying not to psych yourself out. ‘Everything is going to be fine. It’s all going to be okay. Easy peasy…’ “Y/n,” Sam starts. “I know the first hunt can be a little scary but trust me if you’re anything like your dad you will be just fine.” Giving Sam a genuine smile you look in the rearview mirror to see Dean staring at you. “I’m really glad you guys decided to take me hunting for my birthday. I know how hard the decision must have been.” “Why do you say that?” Well, maybe because Dean thinks I’m still a child and the only reason I felt anything for him is because I have always been alone, you thought to yourself. “Because you both,” adding emphasis on the word both just for Dean, “see me as a little sister, and you would hate for something to happen to me just as bad as I would hate for something to happen to you.” Sam gives you a side smile and Dean just lowers his head and sighs.

It was simple enough. You did just fine. Even Dean was surprised that you handled it so well. You did great research and handled your own. Dean climbs into the driver seat and Sam slides into the passenger side. “Alright Y/n, congrats on your first kill. Now how about some juicy burgers and a beer to celebrate?” Sam looks back at me and smiles. “I’m totally in! Can we try that bar I saw on the way into town?” “Of course we can, birthday girl.” “Dean, my birthday was yesterday.” You deadpanned. Making Sam raise an eyebrow. “Everything, okay with you guys?” “Fine.” You both say. “Hey D? I still have one more thing I would like to do for my birthday.” “Oh yeah, and what’s that?”

“Y/n, you can not drive my baby this fast you’re going to wreck! Do you even have your license?” You laugh speeding along down some backroad Dean had pulled off on so you could drive. “Of course I do D.” You lied. “Okay. That's enough. Pull over so I can drive. You’re done driving for the rest of your life.” Pulling over you jump out of the driver seat and give Dean a giant hug. “Thank you so much. I have always wanted to drive your car. Since I was little.” “You’re welcome sweetheart.” That damn name. Sam gave you a hug too, He whispers in your ear. “You know you’re lucky right? Dean doesn’t even let me drive his car. Unless absolutely necessary.” That makes your body heat up, you had no idea that even Sam hardly ever got to drive Dean's car. Later the next day you had finally made it home collapsing on the couch and breathing in the scent of your home. “Are you guys going to stay another night or head back out?” Dean is standing in the doorway talking to Sam. As you turn the corner you see them standing there. A hurt look on Sam’s face. “Bye Y/n. I’m really glad that I got to see you and spend time with you on your birthday. I’ll see you around.” You gave Sam a goodbye hug and turned to Dean. “I’m really glad that you guys came and spent time with me. It really means a lot. I know that you have to go and save more lives. So i will see you and Sam around sometime.” Turning to go back into your house Dean grabs you by your upper arm and spins you right into a bruising kiss. His mouth melts against your own. It ends too soon. “Y/n, I love you. But I can’t drag you into this life.” He turns and walks down the steps, down the sidewalk and into the impala. “Dean wait! Please wait! You can’t leave like that!” You fall onto the ground and watch through blurry eyes the impalas taillights fade out of your view.

“Dean. I thought that you didn’t want me? You said you loved me but I thought you meant as a sister. I thought that’s why you told me you didn’t want to drag me into this life. Was because I was like a little sister. Not that you actually loved me.” Dean took a deep breath and grabbed you tighter. “Y/n I love you so much. I always have. That’s what I was going to tell you that night I was waiting for you on your bed. But I thought you didn’t feel the same way I did so I pushed you away. Please don’t hate me for waiting this long to tell you. I was just scared that you would reject me. I-I’m so-.” You crashed your lips to his and pulled his face closer to yours. “Dean Winchester. I have loved you since I was 13. Don’t you ever push me away again.” “I promise Y/n I won’t. Never again. I love you so much. I want to have the apple pie life with you. I don’t want anyone else but you.” “Okay D.”

The kiss continued to deepen as he made his way down to your neck and then your collarbone. He ripped his leather jacket off and then yours. Hands reaching the hem of your shirt and pulling it over your head. Only breaking the kiss for a few seconds before fisting your hands in his hair and bringing him closer if that was even possible. He broke the kiss and took his shirt off and your hands clung to his biceps and shoulders and chest trying to get a feel of his god like form. He grabs the back of your neck and pulls you apart. “Y/n please tell me that you want this and it’s not just me. I want you and I want all of you.” Breathing heavily you grab at the back of his neck and pull his face close enough to feel the heat from his body, “Dean Winchester, if you don’t fuck me like you mean it I’m going to shoot you in the leg.” At that, Dean kisses you and you jump up to wrap your legs around his waist. He grabs at your ass and thighs desperate for any type of friction. His cock is pressed right up against your clit causing just enough friction to make you whine. He grunts in response and tosses you onto the bed and climbs over you. “God Y/n you’re so damn beautiful. Can’t wait to taste you.” You sigh in response and he goes to work. Tugging your shorts and panties down your legs in one swift motion. He climbs up your body and unclasps your bra, tossing it to the floor. Fully naked and exposed underneath him. He groans and runs his hand down your body. From your lips, to your neck, down to your nipples, to your stomach, and finally down to your aching pussy. “God you’re so wet. This all for me?” “God, yes Dean please. I need you.” “Already begging sweetheart? I thought you were stronger than that.” He sinks two thick fingers into you and you clench. He starts slowly thrusting and curling his fingers right into your sweet spot, kissing down your neck and along your collarbone. “Dean.. I.. ah!” You came clenching around his thick fingers. “Fuck Y/n. I need to be inside of you.” He lines up with your entrance and inch by glorious inch he sinks into you. Stretching deliciously along your folds. Bottoming our he lets out a low groan and falls to his elbows next to your head. He’s deeper than you thought possible. “Fuck baby. You feel so fucking good wrapped around my cock, so tight.” “Dean. Please move!” He slowly drags out of you almost all the way before he snaps his hips forward and and scream leaves your lips. He sets a bruising pace. Your pussy clenching tight around him. You can feel your stomach heat up and the coil tightening. Threatening to snap any minute. He’s so fucking deep. His breathes are coming out ragged and sharp. “Y/n I don’t know how long I can last with you squeezing me like that.” He groans out. Know one has ever been able to fuck you like this. Your orgasm hits you like a cement truck you clench around him, white spots flooding your vision. Not soon after his hips falter and he’s cumming deep inside you. His moans in your ear are the hottest thing you’ve ever heard. He rolls off of you and pulls you into his side and falls asleep.

The next morning you wake up blushing from the events that had occurred the night before. Turning over trying not to wake Dean. You roll out of bed and take a shower. The hot water runs over your aching muscles from last night's previous activities. You take a deep breath. ‘What if he doesn’t feel the same?’

Coming out of the bathroom the steam follows and you see the groggy man in your bed stirring. “Good morning D. Did I wake you up?” “No sweetheart, I just got up. What time is it?” He rolls over and checks his burner phone and groans. “It’s only 9:30. Man I was hoping it was later.” You smile and climb into the bed and snuggle up next to him. “D?” “Yeah Y/n?” “What are we going to do about Sam?” “He told me he’s always wanted me to have a normal life. So I think that I should do just that… with you. Because, you see, baby, I love you I have since we were kids. I thought that since I was older and you were a little younger than me that you would have a thing for Sammy. But you didn’t. It was me all along and I didn’t realize that until your 18th birthday. I’m sorry Y/n. I’ll never leave you again. I promise.” You cuddle up closer to him and pull him tight. “I love you too Dean. Always have. Always will. No matter what, and if a normal like is what you want then a normal life is what you’ll get. I promise.” Dean rolls over and kisses your cheek and scoots closer to you. Grabbing your hip and pulling you closer to him. “I know I’m not one for the mushy moments right?” You sigh and nuzzle into his chest. “Yes Dean. I do. I haven’t been since my parents. I never thought I would love anything ever again. Not until you came along. You waltz in on my 18th birthday and suddenly all of those winks, nicknames, and lingering looks made sense.” Dean just pulls you closer. “Of course they made sense Y/n. I never thought it would work until you practically slapped me with your words. But it worked, and I ain’t ever letting you go.”

Tags::

#dean x reader #supernatural #deanwinchester #spnsmut #supernaturalsmut #smut #dean smut #young dean winchester #spn season 3 #smutty

[greenishbucket]

good vibez only

Perhaps it’s not in like, the festive spirit or whatever, but Dex refuses to feel shame in reactivating and skimming through his array of dating apps the second his flight gets delayed.

nursey/dex, tindering in an airport au, 1.6k. For @ellienchanted! thanks for the help with this and happy new year :D on ao3

Perhaps it’s not in like, the festive spirit or whatever, but Dex refuses to feel shame in reactivating and skimming through his array of dating apps the second his flight back to New York gets delayed. What else is he going to do? Read a book? Talk to the people around him? Not likely.

And like, he’s just maybe been feeling slightly more desperately alone than usual, after the holiday period spent with family. His parents were his parents and even his shithead brother had been lovey-dovey with his admittedly very nice girlfriend, not to even mention the bloodbath that was social media.

It’s only midday on New Year’s Eve, but Dex can sense in his old-man bones that it’s already ramping back up again after a few days of quiet after Christmas. Picturesque, loving content as far as a guy can scroll, most likely.

Not that Dex is bitter. He has friends, has love in his life and shit. He’s on his way home to show his face at Ford's party, after all. Except the plan is to prove he didn’t die en route, get smashed as efficiently as possible, then probably get kissed platonically by six people at midnight because his friends are like that, before ultimately heading home alone and passing out alone.

Dex is, in short, just acutely fucking aware of his singleness right now.

In the heart sense and in the dick sense, unfortunately. Whatever. He’s got a few boring hours stretching ahead of him; even if he doesn’t match with or message any of the many dudes he can swipe through, at least a good twenty percent of them are hot enough to pause for a whole second.

One guy, after some fifteen minutes of mindless, semi-horny swiping, warrants more time than that.

He has a tattoo. It wraps around his very nice bicep and Dex’s mouth goes dry. His name is Derek, and he has a couple shirtless pics, a hockey one, a few ones Dex figures are trying to convey culture – museums and art and like, sweeping landscapes – and ends it with a meme.

Which is like. It’s kind of funny, and this dude is super hot, but really? But also he is so, so hot. In like, a hot way, and in a beautiful way, so Dex can at least entertain the idea of their boning. Then Dex reads Derek’s bio:

‘what i want is what i’ve always wanted. what i want is to be changed.’ im pretty and my meat is huge. good vibez only, no haters ✌️

Dex doesn’t smile a little. He doesn’t. He definitely just rolls his eyes hard and swipes left. That quote. He doesn’t have the patience, not even for someone that looks like that.

“Ouch,” says a voice from over his shoulder. “Hard no for that one?”

Because of course, because his flight is delayed and the drive to the airport had been shit anyway, because of course – it’s the dude. He’s not just nearby, he’s literally right there. Derek. Sitting in the row of seats backed up against Dex’s, twisted round to watch over Dex’s shoulder in a flagrant disregard of like, normal fucking behaviour, and somehow even hotter in the gross airport lighting. He’s doing some kind of smirk thing that Dex isn’t into at all.

His voice is like– It’s nice. Dude has a nice voice.

And of course, instinctively, result of being a grumpy fuck since birth and years in the big city, Dex’s immediate response is, “Fuck off, asshole.” Then, back up instinct, result of his mom’s loving care and years in a small town, he adds, “Shit, sorry, that was- I didn’t mean- um.”

Derek’s smirk solidifies. Something natural rather than an expression he’s holding there, not that Dex would’ve recognised it wasn’t completely assured and legit until then. “No worries, man. It’s chill. Sexy pic with the lobster, though.”

-

Nursey absolutely, completely, fucking two thousand percent should not have said anything. He’d almost be surprised at himself, watching this whole thing happen out of body, except this is the least surprising behaviour from him ever. Like he’s ever been able to let a minor hurt pass without poking at it until it’s something unbearable and he has to nope out like that’d been his plan all along.

Whatever. It’s chill. He’s got this. They’re in an airport, so Nursey can nope out whenever he likes, and more effectively than usual. It’s going to be fun.

“Excuse me?” says Will.

Will, who Nursey had first noticed for his massive ears and exhausted vibes, then absently clocked as attractive, and then clocked some minutes later as the same dude whose profile he’d just come across. Will who Nursey had just swiped right on, though not before screencapping his profile and sending it to Chowder, captioned ‘a straight???’

Like. Okay. Nursey doesn’t want to stereotype, or whatever, tries really hard not to, but when a dude sees a bio like I'm Will. I like hockey and lobster-fishing and good beer. We should get to know each other? He's not proud of it but questions start arising.

“Sexy pic with the lobster,” Nursey repeats. It had been, honestly, in a kind of weird display-of-masculinity way that Nursey doesn’t want to unpack right then but definitely would with some weed.

“Thank you?” says Will. A pause. “Are you making fun of me?”

“No,” Nursey replies honestly. But that feels like some kind of defeat, because this guy is cute and freckly and like, certainly has hands, but he also just dismissed Nursey’s careful construction of self while Nursey watched, so he continues, “I mean, I’m a vegetarian? So I kind of do disagree with the concept of trapping and killing an innocent animal for your own consumption, or whatever.”

Will snorts. “Of course.”

Nursey’s stomach sinks. He should’ve known. Pretty eyes or not, it wasn’t going to be fun with a guy who is a self-proclaimed hockey and good beer fan. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” says Will.

Nursey doesn’t want to get into a full-blown argument in the middle of an airport, so he lets it drop. But he also doesn’t want to sit here in awkward silence or have to get up and haul all his shit over to somewhere else. “So, while we're both sitting here, any pointers for improvement?” he asks instead.

“What?”

“For my profile, dude. Gotta up my game, clearly.”

"Why?"

"Self-improvement is my new year's resolution," Nursey replies easily, only half-lying; it's been his new year's resolution for like, five years straight, whatever. "I'll start: you need a better bio, or just scrap the whole thing. You're just about cute enough to pull it off, but it does you zero favours, dude. Bland as fuck."

Will goes pale, then red, then says, "What the fuck? Who asked?" Nursey waits, unsure if he should keep pushing or if he's maybe crossed a line, and after a long moment or two Will sighs. “Okay, fine, I hate doing description things and I'm shit at it. But yours also sucks. You could try with less of the pretentious quote shit, for one thing.”

“Less Mary Szybist?” Nursey asks, only having to up his aghastness a little. “Mine does not suck. I’m trying to convey an inner sensitivity, bro. Poetry is a window to the soul.”

Will frowns. “I thought that was eyes.”

His frown is cute. Shit. “First, a little thing called poetic license? Second, you said I was pretentious.”

“It’s Shakespeare,” Will says, unimpressed. “You didn’t do Shakespeare in high school?”

“Sure,” Nursey agrees, “but clearly it didn’t stick,” which is a lie. “Haiku, though. That’s the good shit.”

“What?”

“In my bio. It’s a haiku, five-seven-five syllables?”

Will visibly goes through Nursey’s bio, mouthing out the words, which, hey. It left an impression, at least. “That’s not five-seven-five,” he says.

“I’m pretty and my / meat is huge. Chill vibez only / no haters. Peace sign,” Nursey recites easily, clapping the syllables out like they taught in elementary school.

Will snorts out a laugh and can’t quite seem to reign his face back into looking unimpressed. Nursey smiles back and can’t quite reign that in either. The bitterness from watching Will swipe past him seeps almost entirely away at last, Nursey finally able to unfold his arm from around his stomach; Will’s shoulders come down from around his ears, too.

“Um. I did actually like your photos,” he says after a moment, almost hesitant, those same ears flaming. “Like, a lot."

"Ditto," says Nursey, as casual as he can. Will is pretty great in pics, if unfortunately blind to his angles, and even better plus assholeish irl, which is a beauty of a combination.

"But you’re cheating your syllables with that peace sign bit, pretty sure,” Will adds.

Nursey rolls his eyes, ignores the warm glow. Not a straight, definitely. And Will thinks his pics are good, at least, which is a success of sorts. He doesn't know what flight Will is getting, but his own back to NYC has been delayed by a few hours, so maybe he should try and shoot his shot one last time.

He chucks his stuff over to Will's side of the chair-row, then hauls himself over. Pulls his sweater back down. Fuck this twisting around in his seat nonsense.

Will blinks, face pink. "Hi," he says, a little hoarse.

“I think you mean bye. I said no haters, didn't I?”

Will laughs again, full and warm this time. “Fuck off, asshole,” he says, and this time Nursey laughs with him.

#my writing #omgcp fic #nurseydex

[naruhearts]

14x18 First Watch Thoughts: Mary Winchester the Mirror, TFW and Destiel

**FLAILS**

My thoughts are practically incoherent because I’m having BIG FEELS right now...VERY big feels re: TFW/Destiel narratives.

I am SUPER glad Berens was the one who penned Mary’s death!! The episode was just well-done all around from start to finish and intensely executed, with the proper solid balance of angst, emotional insight from the characters placed inside Mary’s cathartic contextual role, and the consistent reiteration of Mary as TFW’s overall Parental Catharsis in 14x18′s storytelling (and S12-14′s whole parental premise in conjunction with John Winchester’s ghost). 

Mary was portrayed as the singular contrasting foil to TFW’s individual and combined arcs. Absence was, obviously, a core theme, with Mary’s absence -- her death -- playing out as A. familial purpose (accountability and her death as the impetus to work together --> forgive each other, forgive yourself), B. self-purpose (self-realization via Jack: what did I do? Why did I do it? Why do we do things?), and C. romantic purpose on the Dean/Cas front. 

Let me explain C. -- well, WE BEEN KNEW. The metasphere wrote about this (my post x).

x

Dean was HEAVILY subtextually framed as the angry spouse undergoing a rough patch with Cas over Mary’s death  (the tension, juxtaposed by sad orchestral strings and soft lighting, Dean lashing out at Cas, romantic framing via Dean’s back turned to Cas, their interactions holding frustration yet still underpinned by certain tenderness etc *sighhhhh*) and Dean continuing down the route of giving Cas, not Sam, frosty shoulders -- emphasized by the romantic visual framing of space between them e.g. Sam preventing Cas from comforting Dean during Mary’s funeral, backs again facing each other, Dean and Cas interacting sparsely, Dean bitter and disengaged, Cas longing for forgiveness from Dean, Sam as the overt brother caught in the middle as he embodies the role of mediator and stable thinker for both of them etc -- just strengthens my belief that Destiel is going to experience another (hopefully) intense romance-coded confrontation as intense as the one they had in the cabin -- one that leads up to a lover’s make-up or some kind of emotional breakthrough/realization which has Cas happy enough to be taken by the Empty (remember, DEAN STILL DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT CAS’ DEAL. Cas’ life to save his son’s life, harking back to Dean’s own fatherly self-sacrificial deal by saying Yes to Michael. He is utterly unaware that he’ll lose Cas) and it’s a double punch here, because Dean will realize how stupid he is for not appreciating Cas -- more accurately, trying to be mutually transparent and honest with him (he has, though, and he’s made leaps and bounds) before it’s too late but failing (final regression before progression). He does appreciate Cas, and Cas means more to him than anyone could ever describe *points at his Mind!Bar 14x10* yet their love languages still don’t align. IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN, DEAN! 14x19 is written by BL so I additionally hope the D/C subtext from this point onwards works in our favour!!

As I said in above and in my liveblog posts, a summary: 

The differences in Dean’s grieving are a COMPLETE visual comparison to 12x23, complete with overhead 📸 shots and differing funeral pyre scenes: when he grieved over Cas, he was alone, kneeling on the ground, and was blatantly numb/emotionally incapacitated – Dean mourned the loss of his lover. When he’s grieving Mary, Sam is by his side. Brothers mourning the loss of their mother. Romantic vs familial.

Overt romance-coded parallels with Sam/Rowena keeping constant contact just like Dean/Cas do both offscreen and onscreen

Sam telling Dean IT WASN’T JUST CAS and his own emotional pull in this ep as expressing accountability for TFW’s actions in general – besides internalizing/talking about the self-guilt, shame, and the inevitable pain of losing people despite saving people (also re: the 🔑 theme of doing the wrong, stupid thing for the right reasons) -- was character development on a marvelous scale. Dean was enlightened and began to admit it himself. Honest, open words. Dean and Cas should learn from him!!

 Cas was absolutely humanized, subsuming the Winchester Way of Bringing Family Back, and he additionally evoked honesty/an emotional justification while admitting his mistakes and again representing FAITH: faith in Jack narratively linked to FAITH IN HIMSELF and the season-long theme of believing there’s another way -- in believing that good things shall come. As he appropriately told Anael last episode -- loneliness is a construct misconstrued by her; not being in one’s physical presence doesn’t mean they aren’t there -- they are there. They are there for you. Narrative symmetry with 14x17′s presence of emotional acknowledgement despite physical absence re: God (and TFW; just because Cas wasn’t with the Winchesters did not mean he loved them any less) vs 14x18′s absence of full-frontal communication despite physical presence re: Dean and Cas/TFW (being physically present also entails being emotionally present through HONESTY). Berens interlinked the subtext. Negative spaces are being filled. And there’s also an Evil/dark dimension added to this Presence vs Absence commentary: Lucifer’s a visage in Jack’s mind, just like Sam. Jack’s soullessness has come to a psychological crux. He’s teeter-tottering – tried desperately to bring Mary back, and now he might have fucked up the natural order (if BTS pics of zombies in 14x20 is linked to this).  Furthermore:

(*clutches chest* There’s the heartbreaking spousal-coded visual narrative.)

Oh, Cas...Jack is BOTH good and evil. This is the intrinsic dualism of human nature. It’s what makes Jack human. And goodness involves badness. 

CAS: [Jack] was good for us. Indeed, we know he was. The unhealthily-codependent-abusive notion of family TFW used to possess (where their overarching parental issues -- Chuck’s absence, John’s abuse and Mary’s absence -- crippled their early formative growth, extending into decades) was deconstructed and rebuilt in healthier ways. Being a parent to Jack offset their true capabilities/qualities: FAITH (Cas), HOPE (Sam), and LOVE (Dean), alongside all the stickiness that came with his birth. By direct association, Cas learned (is learning) how to believe in himself. Sam learned (is learning) how to hope in himself. Dean learned (is learning) how to love himself. Mental/emotional release from their internal chains took place (will come to its final culmination in S15). In other words, Jack the Unifying TFW Mirror -- like Mary -- was the great interpersonal conduit for (a Jesus-figure-representation) honesty, appreciation (spending time with your loved ones), positive vs negative self-process, and self-awareness. Keep in mind that Jack has characteristically taken the place of Dean, Cas and Sam’s own dark arcs (Soulless!Sam, in particular) with what looks like a Godstiel mirror in 14x19 -- he’s literally becoming textualized as TFW’s mirror -- and, like his parents, he is going to make his independent (wayward) choices and question the primacy of human nature: good, evil, and the grey in-between. Will he listen to his head or his heart?  Most of all, Jack taught them that HuntingTM is filled with pain, horror, and death, but genuine purpose lies beyond it. The lives they live are also innumerably interlinked with joy and happiness. These positive things aren’t as sparse as they think: they have each other.

Mary Winchester is ⚰️ and resides in Heaven (her death successfully made me emotional and packed a deep personal punch; the black and white flashbacks interspersed throughout 14x18 relative to Mary’s influence on TFW was A++). She disappeared right when TFW’s arcs came together to display character progression. Her purpose – pushing TFW to engage in self-introspection, personal growth, and honesty with the Self and others – is done.

Mary, the Cas mirror, carved M.W. into the table with S.W and D.W. You know who should be next, right? CASTIEL W. (and Jack W.) (recall that in 14x17, Mary relayed to Dean that she treasured and enjoyed her time with him and Sam -- channeling Cas’ 14x12 farewell speech. Mary has always embodied LOVE, both romantic and familial, with the great virtue of honesty, and Dean, by proxy, has been telling his family he loves them. Again, who is the next family member he’ll say I LOVE YOU to? What do Dean and Cas WANT? Time to answer this question!!)

WE HAVE COME FULL CIRCLE. Narrative cyclism, y’all. Mary and John Winchester are finally at ✌️, and by so doing, TFW will experience emotional/personal/psychological ✌️ as they leave their past behind to create their own optimistic self-actualized future. THERE’LL BE GENUINE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DONE.

TFW MUST TALK

I mean, I’ll probably reblog this with new thoughts during the next few days, but yes, ENDGAME’S UPON US, and all the extensive meta regarding Dabb Era Love and...Love, Unity, Family, Honesty, the centrality of interpersonal relationships and Reconciliation of the Past & Future since Season New Beginnings 12/13 over Season Who Am I 14 should be realized in the final two ANGST-filled eps. TL;DR a gigantic multilayered soup of character-positive/relationship growth-positive meta coming to fruition for the main plot.

Berens has killed us all. 14x18 is one of my favourite Emotion-centric episodes yet!

RATING: 10/10

Thank you for reading my sloppier-than-usual word-vomit!

#my stuff #my meta #meta review #supernatural #mary winchester #narrative #tfw #destiel #deancas #spn s14 #14x18 #CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT #long post for ts #narrative cyclism #hunter husbands #married!destiel #parallels #romance tropes #jack winchester #nature vs nurture #positive endgame #endgame destiel #Jack must die so he can live #subtext vs text #THIS IS A BERENS APPRECIATION BLOG #Jack the TFW Mirror #good vs evil #spn 14x18

[erekuri]

OK BIG BRAIN TIME! Joker Game x BABYMETAL AU

For anyone who may not know who BABYMETAL is, they are a Japanese idol group/metal band with 2 (formerly 3) members. They are popular for the way they combine Japanese idol cuteness with heavy metal, and some have dubbed their style “kawaii metal.” Their music is amazing for real please check it out! 

BABYMETAL are loved in Japan and around the world, and they’ve met many big names in metal/rock such as Metallica, Judas Priest, and Dragonforce. They have choreography in their songs and their performances are really fun to watch :D

So, I was in the shower when this idea came to me. Since originally they had 3 members, I was thinking that the 160 cm trio of Miyoshi, Hatano, and Jitsui would be well-suited for this. BABYMETAL also consists of a band, so the other 5 spies would be in said band, and Yuuki would be the manager. So it’ll look like this:

IDOLS:

Miyoshi (center/lead vocalist)

Hatano (vocalist/rapper)

Jitsui (main vocalist)

BAND:

Kaminaga (drums/waidako)

Tazaki (keyboard/piano)

Fukumoto (lead guitar/violin)

Odagiri (bass guitar/cello/harp/acoustic)

Amari (secondary guitar/trumpet/saxophone) 

IDOLS:

By center, I mean that Miyoshi will almost always be at the center of their photos and is deemed as the ‘main member.’ (In K-pop terms, think of visuals and centers such as Yoona from Girls’ Generation or Kai from EXO.) He’s the member who will usually take the lead in interviews because he’s the oldest, though all 3 seem to have drunk from the fountain of youth lol. Jitsui is the main vocalist, so he gets the most lines as well as the high notes if the song has one. Hatano gets the least, but generally the line distribution is even enough that there are little complaints. He will also rap on occasion (think Linkin Park or Hollywood Undead) but most of their songs are singing-based. Hatano and Miyoshi will also do adlibs while Jitsui is known for his stunning vocal runs. Even though Jitsui is their main vocalist, Miyoshi is the one who gets put in the center of their dance formations more often. 

Ah right, their voices. (Since I am more familiar with K-pop rather than J-pop vocalists, they’ll be my main references here. My apologies in advance.)

Jitsui is the main vocalist. He needs a sweet voice to compliment his sweet face, but it’s also gotta be powerful. Ryeowook from Super Junior would be the perfect fit here, because it’s got this sweet tone to it but also nice and clear and the high notes would sound like a literal choir of angels. 

Miyoshi’s vocal color would be like Suho from EXO. Clear and sweet and comforting. His falsettos are the most flawless thing you’ve ever heard, and the emotion he puts into his singing is on another level. His voice is, in a word, PRETTY.

Since Hatano does both vocals and rap, I’m thinking his vocal color would be like Key from SHINee. With that higher tone he has, it suits Hatano’s appearance and personality wonderfully. Both his singing and rapping are amazing and he likes to scream sometimes to hype up the crowd lol.

(All vocalists mentioned are from SM Entertainment groups,,, damn, I really said SINGERS ONLY and I really like all 3 choices I made omg. MY MIND.)

(In the real BABYMETAL, member Su-metal sings the majority but I am not deep enough in the fandom to know how fans feel about it. I don’t mind too much since the songs slap either way lmao. And I think the balance is nice but that’s just me. However, for the 160cm trio, I had to even it up because I am someone who typically prefers more even line distributions when it comes to idol groups.)

As for their dancing, BABYMETAL’s choreography is a unique one where 1 is center and the other 2 are backup. For my AU, however, I’d make the choreo more like EXO-CBX in that it’s suited for 3 people, while also taking notes from Super Junior (for their earlier metal songs) or Dreamcatcher (for their famous ‘anime-style’ music.) 

BAND:

Because they’re a metal group, Kaminaga will almost always be on the drum kit, and by God he is good at it. The drum kit he uses is one you’ll see in most metal bands, but he also uses an auxiliary drum kit (which is electrical and has sensors and stuff) for the group’s more experimental tracks. When they want to go something more traditional or epic, he’ll bring out his wadaiko (traditional Japanese drum) and go at it. He’s also the unofficial leader of the band. 

Tazaki plays the keyboard. I personally envision Tuomas from Nightwish when I think of this position, but there are other keyboard players in metal bands out there that are fun to watch. Tazaki is generally a calm person, but when he plays he headbangs like crazy. He’ll play the piano when they do softer songs, and his pretty fingers are mesmerizing to watch. Oh yeah, and the keyboard he uses is a synthesizer due to the underlying ‘pop’ aspect in their music, considering it’s for an idol group.

Fukumoto would be the main/lead guitarist. He’d get pretty much all the solos (though Amari might join in as the secondary guitarist). He’s hailed as one of the best guitarists of all time, and he plays a major role in the musical arrangements of the songs. He’s also a prodigy when it comes to the violin, which he’ll sometimes use instead of his guitar for a more ‘symphonic’ sound. In reality, he’ll switch between them as he sees fit. 

Odagiri is the reliable bass guitar; underrated, but without them, the song just isn’t the same. As the bass player, he helps to balance out the guitars. He plays the cello when they want a jazzier theme or an orchestra kind of sound, and when they go the traditional route, in comes the harp. When the boys want to sing an acoustic version of their songs to show off their vocals, Odagiri will be the one to play the acoustic guitar to accompany them.

Amari is the secondary guitarist, and arguably the most versatile player in the band. He can not only play the electric guitar, but he can also play the trumpet and the saxophone. Their jazz songs would require them to be in the same song, but he can switch between the two easily enough, provided he’s given enough time to transition (otherwise he’ll simply use a pre-recording of one while playing the other live.) When a song requires both violin and guitar, Amari will take the role of the lead guitar while Fukumoto plays violin.

(The instruments mentioned are their main ones, though I’m sure they could all play more if they wanted to. I just don’t have the brain cells to spare for this lol. Maybe some other time I can give more thought to the band, but I’m ok with what I have for now. Besides, most metal bands will have 1 person per instrument or will bring in a whole orchestra, so what I have is farfetched ngl, and yet I like it because the D-Agency boys are just so talented at anything they try hehe)

OTHERS:

As stated earlier, Yuuki would be their manager. He is known to all as just “Yuuki.” He is the one who brought the group together, as the trio were originally part of an idol group but were mostly in the back, while the others were notable musicians who had no band to belong to. In his prime, he was an acclaimed songwriter and producer, but he’s also super happy doing what he does as a manager/producer for the 160cm trio and the band. He fought tooth and nail for the formation of this group and is more than satisfied with their explosive popularity. He will often clash with the CEO of their label, IG Productions, because he refuses to let them hold back the band’s growth. 

Now, y’all may be wondering… where is Sakuma??? 

Sakuma, Gamo Jirou, Yuriko Nogami, and Miyoko Yasuhara are all well-respected actors under the same agency (not IG but another one lol.) 

Yuriko and Miyoko are mostly in theatre, but Yuriko is a recurring favorite in J-dramas while Miyoko is popular in movies. 

Jirou is super versatile, and he’d be kinda like Robert Pattinson in the sense that he will often make fun of the stuff he’s been in. He likes to take on bizarre roles that test his limits as an actor, and his range is pretty much unmatched. He’s recognizable but people will still lose themselves in his brilliant acting. He is more often seen in movies, but sometimes he’ll star in a drama, especially one where he plays a villain/antagonist or a second-lead.

Sakuma is another J-drama favorite, and he has a legion of fangirls; as of late, those fangirls include aunties who love his clean and respectable image. He made headlines once when he shaved his head for a role as a soldier because it was such a shock that he looked as handsome as ever. He loves being in movies with a lot of angst/sad endings, and don’t get me started on how sad some of the dramas he’s in can be. And as a bonus, his characters almost always die and oof it really breaks people’s hearts. Occasionally, he’ll take on a more light-hearted role such as a friendly teacher. 

Sakuma and Gamo are both openly gay, and many fangirls will wish for them to find boyfriends because they want these actors to be happy. They have starred in movies together and their friendship off-screen can be considered ‘iconic.’ Fans ship them platonically. 

Sakuma would also be a major fanboy of the D-Agency band, and Miyoshi is easily his favorite member. He attends their concerts in disguise because he has a reputation, damn it. One time he dragged his actor friends along, and Gamo fell for Jitsui HARD. Meanwhile, Yuriko eventually starts a romance with the bassist, Odagiri, when she wanders backstage by accident on her way to the restroom. (Sakuma is jealous as fuck that she managed to get backstage but he won’t admit it.)

Alain, Marie, Jean, and Johann are all foreign celebrities, who are all wildly popular in Japan. Marie would be a popular actress who travels to Japan to participate in a film (directed by Jean, a highly-respected director) that takes place there. It’d be a collaboration project between a French studio and a Japanese one. Alain would be a famous pop artist in France, and his songs can be meaningful and uplifting or super raunchy and inappropriate as hell, no in-between. He goes to Japan because he’s interested in their newest idol/heavy metal fusion group. Johann is a talented lyricist/producer and he prefers to write songs for other people and avoid the drama that comes with being a celebrity. Alain drags him to Japan because why not?

END:

Back to the band, their debut song would be ‘Reason Triangle’. ‘Double’ would be for a J-drama collab in which Sakuma finally gets to meet his favorite group (???) idk but their discography would also include songs like:

Taking Off - ONE OK ROCK

Fukagyaku Replace - My First Story

Take Off - 2PM

Cosmic Railway - EXO

CORE PRIDE - UVERworld

Signal- TK from Ling tosite sigure

FEED THE FIRE - coldrain

Kyouran Hey Kids!! - THE ORAL CIGARETTES

And that’s all I can think of for this AU. I can’t believe I wrote so much but this idea just wouldn’t leave my head so I had to write it all down. I hope y’all enjoy my ramblings lol. 

#joker game anime #joker game #joker game au #jga #miyoshi #hatano #jitsui #kaminaga #tazaki #fukumoto #odagiri #amari #yuuki #sakuma #gamo jirou #gamou #alain lernier #marie torres #jean victor #johann bauer #d agency #idol au #i spent too much time on this shit #will i ever write this? probably not

[bionicdragonguardian1]

Voltron Rewritten Defender (1/8)

Also known as My Almost Raging Bitch List for this Goddamn Disastrous Disappointment of a Show

I binged all 8 seasons in under a week, so believe me when I say almost nothing was forgotten between seasons/episodes and I do tend to note that.

If it’s not obvious by the title, I’m planning an entire show AU. I am extremely open to people’s opinions on what I’m currently thinking and when I finally post this I’ll be open to criticism there too. If you would like to avoid seeing anything in regards to this feel free to blacklist #voltron_rewritten_defender because that’s what I’ll be using for this whole thing.

Enjoy, I guess.

Fair warning I am a multishipper, but for this show I leaned towards Klance, so if that bothers you that’s okay, I’m not going to be bashing any other ships (mainly just Dreamworks’ forced Allurance). If you think I missed something for any other ship lemme know! If you wanna have a ship discussion that’s cool too. The only other thing I can think of is that Allura’s attitude in S8 really stuck with me to the point that she bothered me throughout the entire rewatch (I was admittedly one of the people who thought she could be very Mary Sue ish when I first watched this) so that’ll show up now and again.

If you want to look at the Google Doc for the whole show, click the link, if not you can expand this post to see Season 1. I’ll be doing these in chunks, but as some of you know I do a FicRecList on one of my other accounts here @sorcerusdragonbionics​ so I’m gonna be alternating between that and these for the next couple days.

If you do the Google Route it’ll have you ask me for permission, this is normal and if you request it I’ll give you commenting abilities.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1t30IRJonrBFh0qvs8recf3ayGoQ0rx02y0Tg1e4NTaI/edit?usp=sharing

Key

Things I kinda wanna bitch about

Things I did genuinely enjoy and like 

Rewatch Thoughts (basically what I remember from further forward and how I feel like it reflects back on earlier seasons)

Ship Talk (behold my multishipping insanity)

Things I think I’ll do in the Rewrite

Writing Notes (mainly for me or as explanation for what I’m planning)

VA and Closed Captioning Things

Other Fic Thoughts

This ended up being music commentary in S8

Season One

Problems with the Season overall:

To be honest if I hated this season I wouldn’t’ve kept watching because by the time I started S3 had just dropped

Episode 1

Here’s the deal, WHY ARE YOU SO LONG BUT SO EMPTY?!?

Yeah, nope, that’s mostly it

Fix the problem of telling instead of showing about the other Lions and remove Allura’s explanation of the Lions if possible (thank you Kross for explaining why it felt so empty- this vid is actually where I started getting the idea to actually go through with a full series AU)

DON'T RUSH THE LION INTROS

Also let the 5 introduce themselves to Allura and Coran

Also Character Drive to Complete Mission Should Be A Thing

Flesh out Paladin Personalities so that the Aris Arrival is End of Part One (making it closer to the length of E1)

Flesh out Lion intros so part 2+3 are more like full Eps without Sendak

Episode 2

75 degrees… that’s definitely in Fahrenheit, which why?

How does no one have a watch with a date on them?

“A man can be driven to do anything if a beautiful woman is just really really mean to him”

More inbetween scenes bc I can

I will accept the transformation sequence here, I’m just not going to write it

Episode 3

Please watch the use of Earth Time Slices please, because it’s confusing

I love the portrayal of PTSD in this show and I would die before I change it

Bye bye transformation sequence

Pidge’s talk with Shiro can please change

Episode 4

“I say Vol, you say Tron” will come up again if it kills me

Lance, how do you know what hotdog water and feet taste like?

I love how Coran is completely nonchalant about the fact that he’s drinking a hair tonic

Shiro, don’t bring down the mood

Goddammit Sendak, you could stay for this arc, but god I want you GONE!

Keith, having an emotion? Really?

The Pidge plot DID NOT NEED TO HAPPEN LIKE THAT!

Fight me I will change it

Or minimally change the fact that their selfish motivations are revealed to BAD and should be changed

Oh yeah, let’s not give the ONE GUY with notable homesickness a character arc around that

That moment when you realize Allura is like ‘wtf is a peanut’

Allura, don’t push it, some people don’t want to talk about it

You will have something to talk about, BIOLOGY

Decryption happens here, and next attempt to find family occurs… when?

Poor Coran, if there is anyone who was more forgotten than Lance it was him

Keith isn’t wrong, but he also doesn’t know how to say it without getting mad, which mood

Just pointing out Lance is not only smart, but selfless, tell me how he’s not the main character

My inner Shance/Klance shipper is sobbing

“Bomb fuel” mentioned here, occurs… actually it’s ok

Timelines need to be a thing!

Can I make the fight scenes more intense? Yes, I write them for my YJ Scripts. Will I? Almost definitely.

Keith with that much fire your mask should be closed because smoke inhalation is bad

Can we explain Vrepit Sa before s6?

It feels like Coran forgets that 10k years have passed under an evil empire and part of me likes it, but it hurts me

Episode 5

The Katie flashback is hurts me

I want to add Gender Identity

Can we talk about how Shiro is a nickname for Takashi Shirogane?

That’s not how an EMP works

The Coran sitting on Hunk’s shoulders with a machine gun is everything

I know the back x-ray was a joke, but I still don’t like it

Rax is an idiot, just saying

Bonding Moment!!!

Episode 6

“Intergalactic time measuring competition.”

“We had a bonding moment!”

Where is Sendak’s arm?

Fight me, Pidge’s ‘gender speech’

It will be a gender speech if it kills me

Lance, why are you acting the way you are?

“I figured” and “We were supposed to think you were a boy” ARE NOT PROPER REACTIONS!

Rolo, sometimes I want to punch you in the teeth

Lance’s boner is going to get someone killed

Lance had 4sec of logic and then Nyma brings up Keith, which ofc does him in

Let’s expand on the Komar, yeah?

Quiznack means fuck and NO ONE can tell me otherwise

Keith’s ability to fly is impressive and it’s awesome

Friendly reminder that Lance acknowledged the bonding moment

Episode 7

I LOVE the laser gun sound effects!!!

I just realized that Allura has no clue what an Acronym is

We… literally just talked about this and YOU didn’t know that Shiro, I understand the point, but seriously?

LIONS are TELEPATHIC Shiro DID NOT need to say that aloud!

I do actually like the fact that Kieth gets excited before realizing what he did

FIRE and ICE PEOPLE come on! What the hell?! You barely had to try

“Yes sir?” Keith to Shiro, what?

I love them and their cute little arguments

Left vs Right, thank you Zamber

We be lovin’ Hunay bc it’s pure as hell

Thank you Shiro for validating Hunk’s concerns

You could check  a little faster, Allura

I LIVE for this scene

Was it actually Rolo?

Do they have teleporters?

Keith being weird is my favorite thing

I love good big bros who argue tradition to save their baby sis

Zarkon is a bit of a moron

THEIR LIVES ARE IN DANGER ALLURA!

They all came through different doors… how?

What if the answer was no?

I’m ok with Lance embarrassing himself when he’s cocky, some people seem to forget that

Bye transformation sequence, I explained you ONCE and that’s it

Prorock… why are you familiar?

Episode 8

I admittedly forgot that they didn’t know these things would be different

Flying fight scenes I can do, teleporting not so much

Poor Shiro he thought he had an idea and he was wrong

I love Coran’s reaction

Also NO SHIT Allura

UHHHH Pidge said that not and of the other three so how did He know?

Allura may piss me off, but I do love this speech

“Your Altean Energy”??? Coran, you’re an Altean, I’m confused.

The “Sacred Altean” thing I get, but you must be more specific cuz it makes Coran sound like he thinks he’s not a proper Altean.

Oof, angsty

Also, I  know we can’t kill Allura yet, but... 

I love that Hunk forgot they hadn’t formed Voltron

Bye bye transformation sequence

Ummm, they NEED to explain the Bayard Equip bc that’s… two very different things that occurred between Hunk and Keith’s Bayard Weapons

Why is this a scene? It’s not a dog. So, yeah, I’m with Keith here

Episode 9

THIS IS NOT HEALTHY ALLURA!

I just realized that this doesn’t come back until S..7? 8? Whatever, WAY too long

I can’t unhear “Training Dick”

Did they have homework on Altea?

Be still my Punk shipper heart

WHY is he SO pretty?!

Y’know, the glowing red eye is usually a bad sign

I could SO mean and hurt Keith here

That moment when you’re like 90% sure Shiro heard that somewhere

Not what haunted means Coran, but accurate

Why could Lance see Alfor for a second?

I too would like the answer to “where was the Red Lion?”

PTSD IS AMAZINGLY WRITTEN!

It’s a shame this is NEVER treated properly again

Thank you for NOT making the swimming thing a thing

You didn’t need to TRY Voltron, what the hell?!

Here’s the deal,  Altea not being Obliterated-obliterated is actually a really interesting idea

Lance still wins, for the record

If she was infected in any way this wouldn’t drive me crazier than a bot on Halloween

But she’s not so this is BULL

Shallura confuses me SO much…

Ok, admittedly the scene with Allura and Alfor is beautifully heartbreaking

Episode 10

The fact that Zarkon was a close friend to Alfor should be addressed

Also Shiro calling himself “an inexperienced Pilot” hurts

Allura’s a MORON!

YES! MASSIVE ISSUE WITH YOU COMING

Nice puppetry Hunk

What happened to THIS Allura?! She’s reckless but not INSANE (or so boring I might cry)!

Is this the same Druid from Season 8? Pretty sure it’s 8… I forget which, but the one Keith fought

“Don’t walk through that door!” / Keith does/ “I think I told him” // “You are a paragon of leadership, Lance”

Hehheh I love Hunk teasing Lance about Allura

I do actually the fact that I can’t tell what size the purple container is until Keith grabs it

Heheh the Allura interacting with the Galra soldier

The computer sounds like Lance

Also Shiro had that “holy shit” moment

I HATE WRITING TELELPORTING FIGHTS

I’m 99% sure that the ONLY reason I didn’t fall into the Galra Keith rabbit hole was the fact that I binge watched

This scene confuses me… so much now that I know Shallura was apparently never going to be a thing

So confused

Episode 11

That hair flip though...

Coran, I get it, but calm down

Okay, but Keith has a point. Seriously, he’s not wrong. 

For the record, Haggar scares me

So much makes so much more sense now that we know Zarkon is the Original Black Paladin

That… makes no sense… “enough essence to open a wormhole”

Why are you transforming? More pieces to shoot at is usually a smart idea…

Hey hey, THACE!

Why can’t you have two active at once? I’m honestly serious.

I mean too OP, got it, but you can maneuver around that for temporary stuff

Shiro, use your words, yeah?

“Thinking” uh huh you mean “telepathy” right?

I genuinely forgot that Shiro got booted from Black

Damn! Yes Shiro! Kick some ass!

Ok, here’s the deal, Keith’s not listening to Coran, but he doesn’t have all the info (LIKE THE FUCKING BAYARD), Zarkon’s the OG Paladin, and he’s in distress

I HATE TELEPORTERS!

“Could have been” … uh Kuron exists ?? 

Also, Shiro with yellow eyes is fucking terrifying

We ain’t ficking stupid VLD

Zarkon’s a fucking idiot

Written properly his power-hungry attitude works even with him destroying his own ship

But it wasn’t so it’s null

You aren’t even subtle about Galra Keith

How can Allura see through Illusions?

Nobody knows!

Shiro, you have no jetpack, how are you so fast?

“Who cares, wormhole!” mood

I… uh… I want to do SO many things with this idea

Preferably not what they actually do...

#voltron legendary defender #voltron legendary disappointment #voltron legendary disgrace #voltron legendary disaster #voltron #voltron rewritten defender #voltron season 1 #ship thoughts #multishipper #episode thoughts #season thoughts #shiro #lance #keith #voltron allura #pidge #hunk #coran

[finding-the-daylight]

Today has been a very stressful day, so guess wtf time it is? Drunk Breaking Dawn Pt. 1. Here is what I soberly remember of the movie (I have not watched it since BD2 came out): 

1. There’s a wedding.

2. There’s a honeymoon.

3. There’s swimming in the ocean.

4. There’s an accidental pregnancy.

5. The baby almost kills Bella.

6. The canon incident that we all hate happens.

7. The Volturi evilly laugh. 

Same as Eclipse, my drunken narration of the movie will be below the break.

A brief intro statement, I was 100% sober and just beginning to drink at the beginning of the Eclipse post and progressively got more drunk. For BD1, I’m throwing back before I even start watching this shit show.

- I love the effects of the intro. it’s very calming. THe putting away childish things quote is literally a Bible verse. I hate that Stpehen appropriated Quileute culture, Christian culture, and every culture. I know she’s mormon but sitll. THis shit feels real appropriated.

- Idk why rennee is all happy. she never gave a shit before.

- OMG ALICE TEHCING BELLA TO WALK IN HEELS IS THE CUTEST ICRY.

- carlisle carryign the bench is literally the hottest hting i’ve ever seen fck

- lowkey kinda creeprd out because she’s literally sacrificing her humanity to marry this deud she’s known for like a year but everyone other than jacob is super supportive

- damn she’s looking @ this dreamcatcher and it’s making me sad but tbh that shit probably caused half her nightmares because she’s not native so sleep paralysis (if you know you know).

- DAMN EDWAD RELALY JUST ADMITTED HE’S BEEN A VIRGING FOR OVER 100 YEARS WHAT AB RAVE MAN WE STAN

- BUT FOR REAL WHY IS NO ONE FREAKING TF OUT THAT SHE’S LITERALLY BEGGING TO DIE FOR THIUS DUE?

- he just todl her hes killed people and explained it and it didn’t work she’s still down to clown with this vapire emo boi

- HOW HE’S SMILTING @ HR WTF I AM SO ALONEEEE

- i just wama ne im loved amd ne loved in retun plz

- this dream sequence is awful also fck the volturi is til hate that they never overthrew that crabbyass monarchy bullshit they were powerful enough

- i just wanna be like rosalie when i greow up

- charlie knew shit was off when he saw those crapsk 

- why the HELL is renen actin liks she cares? bitch go the fuck back home

- jessica is the only one with any damn common sense in this whole series talking about they’re too fucking young for this shitt bitch true and itm akes sene now why she was the valedictioajrn 

- SLEEPING AT LAST IS THT GROUP IDK IF YALL HAVE HEARD ANY OF HTEIR OTHER STUFF BUT THEY’RE AMAIZNG AND I USED TO CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP # THAT SHIT

- damn id’ be fuckign panicking too your lfie is over hoe 

- stpeheen sto pwiht your racist ass smiling its offensive

- CHARLIE FUCKING DEWEVRE BETTER SOMEONE LOVE HIM PLEASR

- this wedding is gorgoeus though i live for hte fuckj g aestiec 

- OH MY GORD THE PROM SONGGGGGGGG  FCK ME RIGHT IN THE EMO 

- IT JUST HIT ME WHN THEY WRE LOOKI  @ EACH OTHERS EYES THIS BTCH REALLY MARYING AN UNDRSF VAMPIRE HOE this shit is horryighn why was i not scare?

- carlisle is the love of y life

- sth is a lil ray of sunishen 

- i just reaized howd fucked it is that sue and chalrie are starng to catch feelz ut sue knows his daughter is funckugn off with a unded vamp emo iboi

- OMG I FCUKING HATE STEPHENE RACIST ASS I LEGIT MADE AP OST EARLIER SYAING LAURENT WANTED TO DO THE RIGHT THING ANDWOUVLEBE BEND A VEGETATIAN BITCH AND IRENEA CONFIRMED FCK THIS SHIT IM OUT ANG ANGRY

- charlie is gget ing drunk as hell my spiritn animel

- jesica is smart and beautiful she needs t os stop being jealous and petty know ya wotht girlie you got itl

- I SWEAR WHEN IGET MARRIED OSMEDAY IF ANYONE GIVES A SPEECH LIKE THIS I WILL PERSONALLY DRAGT HER ASS OUT.

- edwar lves her so much fck im all alone\

- how haoph hacob is when they hig i hate canonn they were best friends fc,

- jacob stay the fck outta her sex life she;s been wanting this for ad dman year fkc steohe let them jsut befriend

- steh is so swert but e is a chidl fck the is reacist plot bulshit

- CHARLIE DESEVRD BETTR FCK THIS PLOT FOR REAL I HAE CANON

- bela looks os ad she knows it’s goodbye but edward’s family is all smiling because they have her now hwat fthe ckc

- jac0bs cryng my heart brke

- i love bineg dunk 

- the scene isn rio is my faorite isn any of the movies eveyrhting looks warm and happy

- this bich can drive ab oat too damn he can just fod evryhin cant he

- CARLISLE BOUGHT A WHOEL DAMN ISALND FOR HIS WIFE AND I CANT ECVE GET A TEXT BACK? 

- deis this honeymon scene make anuone else unconmfy becuae same

- marying a vampire would be horrying af but also hot af and good af becuase htye oculd love so much and protect you from everythign fck 1-/10 woukd efeel safe

- bwll gaving a panic attakc ism e anyt tinme i try talking to an attractive man

- slepeign at last fckign ti up agin bit ch theis m yshit 

- when he said it was the best night i cred 

- tstoehe added the chess game like this shit is a hoje but i would love to play chess on my honemodn idk how uut  i want a man to each me but not mansplin

- WHY THE FUCJ AR THEY SO CTE ON THIS AMN HONEYMOON?

- i know i sadn it was horryig but i want a hotass vamp emo boi husband plas 

- damn jacob is being too emo she aint really gonan be ded for ever youll see her agianb itch

- ‘CULLENS ARE NOT A DNAGER TO THE TOWN OR TRUBE” BITCH IB EG TO FUCKIN DIFFER THIS SHIT BIOLOGICAL WARDARE RACIST ASS STPEHEN WRITING THIS FUCKING BULLTSIT

- ‘NONE OF THEM BELONG TO THEMSEVLES ANYGMROE” - SOMEONE SAID IT BITCH THSI SHIT IS FUCKRE IP

- i fucking hates these vamp racist bitches but i want a nonracist va,p husband bitch thus hot afck

- how tf does she not know shes rpegr yet eatin this weid ass shit?

- THESE FKERS BEEN AROUND FOR CENTURIES TLAKING BOU IDK IF ITS VEEN POSSIBEL BTICH YU SHOULD FUCKUGN KNO BY NOW

- ROVERT SPOEAKIN G PORTGUEVE IS SO KING ATRACTIV

- poor bella her life chaned so uqick and she[s soc scared fck dcnaon

- POOR CHARLIE I HATE THIS HE DESERVES TO BE LOVED AND TURTH TOLD

- ROSALEI IS THE EST 

- “YOU LOOK TERRBLE’ THIS IS THE FRIENDHSOP WE WANT WHYT THE FCK DOES FOPSTHE RUIN EALL THIS SHIT

- CARLISE IS FUNCIGJ HOT

- LIRALY BITCH I JUST WNAT A PURE FIRENDHSIP WUTH JACOB AND BELLA ITS WHAT THEY DESERVE FJC CAON

 - this montage is turopy a f when youre drunk waht the helc por jake thugh

- im sorry but i;n laughign my ass off at these fuckugn wolf vocie overs lmaoooo this shit hilarious

- SETH HAS SUCH A PURE HEART WHTY TF DID SPTEHEH RUIB HUS FUCJING CHILDHOOD BULTHIST

- WHY IS EVEYRIJE BSUCG AFUCKUGN BUTCG TO LEAH???? SHE DESEVRED THE FUCKING WORLD STPEHEN IS A RACISHT BITCHHHHHH

- calisbe is fos unicngn hot

- i just reaized robert is like the best fuckugn actor like this diolaguge is wha k as fuck btu he’s acitng all emo boi oscar worhty shti

- they realy had her fuckin drink blodo i hate cannjnonnn

- ifelel the same as kaje watchign this 

- but carlisle’s prety face made it all fuckig hetter

- FUCKRT HIS SHTI CHARLIE DESERVED BETTER HE’S THE BEST DAD FCK CANO NFUCK STEPRHNE 

- okay ut id is cute as fkc whe nedward hears the baby 

- esme and calrisle wilougn to risk their lives for bella i cryi

- fkc i really do hate cnaon because jake is acting liek an adult now and trying to do the honrble thig bue he should be a hpaoy chidl 

-  resnemsien is a ficking ridjcils name and we all fuckj nnew

- i ahte this part i’n bot even wathcing this shit rgros me rout 

- WHY THDID FUCK DID THIS BITCH HAVE A FUKCUNG SYRINGE OG VENOM LAYING AORUND? HOE!?!?!

- literlaiy fuick the dynamics of this whole moty hfknfucjg storyline plot bitch

- LEAH AND STHE DESERVERD BETTER

- SO DID JACOB

- SO DID ALL THE WOLFPAKC STPEHEN IS A RACIST AS SHOE

- aw hell here the fucks we hgo with theu ickgn im************** bulshit i ghate cnaojn canon can suck ad ick

- YES BILLY DEFEND YOUR CHIDL 

- rosalie is literally perfect when cnai b ehr 

- im real glad im drunk rin now because ioculd nto sit throguh this shit sober

- imp&******* is the worst plotline fkc]

- bit iamgiben falling alseo lookin gsick and waking up fhot as uck goals

- this sogn making me cry literlalu imcruing ims o alone lmao

- rheye really ended htoe move wirh red eyws lmaoooo

- hodl the fick up a damn minute stpeehebn producre htis cufkcng shit?

- now heres the hoes iv’ve been waiting on burnt the monarch fuckwits i hate thes epompis fuckers

- OVERTURBR THESE FUCKSERS THEY HAVE TIOO MUCH POWR 

CARLISR COULD FUCKING D OI T I HATE CNAON BRING THE VAMPIRE DECONOARCY

- OOHG BRUNNO MARS BRINGNG THE FUCKING SIMPSSHOES ANTHM I NEEDLOVE IT

#Twilight #Twilight renaissance #Breaking Dawn #Breaking Dawn Part One #Breaking Dawn review #simp ass hoes #simp ass hoes fandom #we hate canon #WE HATE CANON HERE

[berlinaura]

Oh how the laziness has taken over. My school motivation has completely disappeared and the only thing keeping me going is the fact that the work I have to do are group works. I am allowing myself pass classes with minimum effort right now. 

On the week after my birthday party my Finnish friends were in Berlin. I was at school on one day of that week. We drank 4 days in a row (okay I had to take one chill day in between because I had the throw up kind of hangover). We went to some bars and Mauerpark flea market on Sunday. 

The next Monday I had an intervietw for an internship in Berlin. I was stressing over the interview for the whole night and got only 1 hour of sleep. I felt like a shaking zombie. Nevertheless, the interview went alright in my opinion. They made me speak some German and wanted to hear why I applied for the position. That’s basically all they asked me. They promised to let me know their decision by the end of the week but so far I have heard nothing from them (now it is Monday again and exactly 1 week has passed). That is alright because I also got a job offer from Finland and I am pretty sure I am gonna accept it no matter what. The tasks and salary are too tempting and unfortunately outweigh Berlin. I also got another interview for an internship in Berlin and even though I have basically made up my mind, I am gonna do the (phone) interview for practice. 

Last Thursday me and my friends were at Escape room. It was a birthday gift I recieved from them and it was so much fun! I have never been to an Escape room before so I had no idea what to expect. We took one called “Puppeteer” and the idea was to escape from a puppeteers workroom before he makes us into puppets. We had a creepy ass robot baby, quietly saying “take me with you, take me with you...” that we had to carry from a room to another. We did so well and only needed “1,5 hints” from the game master. And even got 2 spare minutes in the end! I definitely want to try this game again.

Afterwards we went out for a couple of drinks and to analyze our game. Suddenly we got the best idea ever: we are going on a road trip in February, after exams! It didn’t take long and suddenly we already had a route planned, From Barcelona to Montpellier, from there to Lyon and ending at Genf. I have been wanting go on a such adventure for ages and now I can’t wait until the exams are over!

On Friday me and a friend went spontaneously for drinks to an Indian restaurant called Amar. I found my new favorite drink “Touch down”. One thing I love about Berlin that the cocktails are often so cheap and good and you can get them from normal restaurants. It feels kinda luxurious but at the same time it only costs around 4 euros each. Also, they were super strong and only a few cocktails got us drunk and talk about deep stuff. I wish I had one right now...

On Saturday I tried my best to concentrate on school work. I didn’t proceed at all. I ended up playing Mahjong and taking a nap. In the evening I had a super fancy sweatpants, tv and frozen food -kind of date. The best way to relax after a hard week, am I right! 

On Sunday me and friends decided to check out an Asian restaurant called Umami. Their food was delicious. Always when I try food like this I try to analyze which ingredients they have used so I could redo the dish at home but I never end up doing it. 

The next week was nothing but school work from the morning to the evening. I have three presentations coming up, one paper to write and of course exams and normal homework. I feel like I am learning so much and these courses are actually beneficial for me but at the same time I feel like there is no point in stressing over grades and stress over studying. I think I have found a nice balance in working hard during week and then being super lazy during the weekend. 

After one Thursday we went to have a drink to a bar to plan our Spain/France roadtrip. After 30 minutes we had already booked flights to... SCOTLAND! No idea what that trip is about but I can not wait for the exams to be over now. We are going to visit both Edinburgh and Glasgow. Hopefully the weather is not going to be a classic February gray rain weather, though. 

On Friday 31.1. we were supposed to have a house party but decided to do a pub crawl instead. Somehow our group grew to 10 people and towards the end of the evening we were having a hard time to fit into the places we wanted to go to. The first one, multilayerladen was the stereotype of a hipsterish Berlin bar where people sat on swings, Mary Poppins film was projected to the wall and rusty shopping carts were used as a decoration. They made a delicious and affordable Gin & Tonic though so nothing to complain there. Then, naturally we ended up at Que Pasa to order their 3,5€ cocktails and read palms. Then towards the end of the evening our group started to crumble. At the last place we found fun pinball arcade machines, had conversations about language grammar and smoking and then finally left the extremely crowded yet cozy place (Clash).

I had the laziest fucking Saturday yesterday and I plan to spend my Sunday exactly the same way. I already slept for 13 hours and now I plan to play some sims, maybe bake something and maybe in the evening do something for school. If the stores were open, I would have wanted to go thrift shopping today, it seems like the perfect day for that but unfortunately I have to leave that for the week. 

Recently I have been feeling melancholic because I know my exchange year is ending soon. It is hard to enjoy fun moments when you know you are going to leave these people soon and go back to your normal life. I should accept that this semester is just a temporary part of my life and I won’t feel the same after a year. I know that after being in Finland for a couple of months, I am already used to it and don’t feel so dead inside anymore :D Also, I can always come back after graduating. Literally, who knows what I am going to do. At least now if I ever think about moving abroad, I know I’ll manage and fear isn’t holding me back.

#berlin #erasmus #exchange year