Akriloth the Protector Akriloth the Destroyer Speculations...mostly ramblings
I have to say the recent Inn fight for Akriloth was somehow both an odd breath of fresh air and bewilderment. To see this dragon of fire, who has been antagonistic to the point that trait of theirs has transcended timelines, being not only visibly earnest towards the presence of other humans but also enraged towards the threat of cruelty and suffering was rather cathartic, to say the least.
Now of course within the context of Dragonfable’s current lore regarding the Great Elemental Dragons, the visage of Akriloth in the Inn does not come as a complete surprise. With the ability to reincarnate as many times as necessary to preserve the balance, it is only natural that there would be a version of Akriloth capable of displaying noble traits, such as empathy or compassion, especially at the very dawn of their creation after the Twins went missing. The result? An Akriloth who is duty-bound to protect the balance of Lore and the domain of Fire.
Though this begs a simple question? Why is the incarnation of Akriloth encountered in book 1 so destructive and arrogant? Why is it does he seem to care nothing of human life nor even maintaining the balance?
What drove them to utterly annihilate Maar? It is here I would like to speculate as to why this change in goals occurred by examining events that potentially pertain to the state of Akriloth’s place in Book 1.
First, I would like to examine when the iteration of the Akriloth we encountered in the Inn likely existed. Judging by the look of them, I’d say there’s a good chance that this is perhaps the very first one that was created by Fiamme, the avatar of fire, namely for one reason: the jewelry that adorns Akriloth’s head. The reason I believe this points to this one being the very first incarnation of them is that if we consider that the Avatars made each Great Dragon to essentially copy the role of the Drahr Twins after they had disappeared, it is possible they also tried to replicate some of the symbolism that came with their appearance, namely the jewels and gold the Aequilibria embellished the twins with.
Admittedly, however, this piece of evidence may fall flat if we take into account say Genokratos, for example, since if we assume that based on their size and knowledge that they truly have never died, and therefore never reincarnated, then it begs the question of why all the great dragons weren’t adorned with jewelry. Unless Genokratos did have some bling on them before outgrowing it.
Alternatively, I also believe that it is entirely possible that gold encrusted onto Akriloth’s face might be a human addition of all things. The reason I believe this to possibly be the case is because noticeably there are three orange feathers, possibly his own, affixed to his horn via golden studs. Now why might this be evidence that humans were responsible for this? Well, some of the obsidian castings that contain the remnants of those that lived on Maar, curiously, have feathers, seemingly in a pair of three, wrapped around their heads. It, of course, is entirely possible that inhabitants that occupied Maar simply wear the feathers to pay homage to Akriloth himself, but I like to think it’s entirely possible that when Akriloth started working more closely with the humans as their protector he grafted on his feathers to show respect to a preexisting cultural practice.
If the pierced feathers are in fact a result of human influence, I wonder at then the red gem, presumably the Heart of Maar itself, that hangs from Akriloth’s snout, if it too was perhaps a crystal that was sacred to the people of Pelekoa that they gave to Akriloth to symbolize their trust and pact with one another. Assuming of course, that the gem is not at all related to Akriloth ties to the Plane of Fire.
Questions about which version of Akriloth this is, before the one we fight in BK1, or why he’s stacked in golden drip aside, I think we can reasonably assess at least when the version we fight in the Inn was active and that time is likely a little while during or after the Shadowscythe made their move 1000 years ago.
The evidence that I suspect supports this belief is the dragonlord attendants that accompany Akriloth in their boss fight with namely the Fang of Akriloth attendant giving the most damning evidence as they hold a dragon amulet in their hands.
As many of you reading this know, the dragon amulets were made by the Avatars as a means to foster trust, and likely a modicum of respect, between humans and dragons so that they might stand a better chance at striking back at the forces of Doom. The threat of the Shadowscythe likely also explains why the dragons are noted to be “sworn or promised” to protect humans because after all who would they need protection from initially? Furthermore, I suspect the Shadowscythe likely are the beings that Akriloth possibly accuses of suffering and cruelty, in our fight with them, given inflicting such brutality is effectively their modus operandi. Additionally, as a being meant to impose destiny and protect the balance, it makes sense as to why their hatred of them specifically would be everlasting.
Whatever the case we can safely say that this Akriloth, along with their attendants, has been dead for some time. What exactly killed them I cannot quite say. It could have been the Shadowscythe or some other force, but I believe what is clear is that they all likely died together defending Maar in one final stand against their enemies. At least, that is what I infer from Scales’ and Fang’s popup dialogue when they are on their last legs in the trio fight anyways.
This brings us to the mystery surrounding the events that led to the tragic fate of Maar and those that inhabited Pelekoa. I truly wonder where the relationship between Akriloth and the rest of the world broke down. Clearly, the incarnation we are more familiar with had reached the adulthood stage of most dragons meaning they likely had to have at least two or three hundred years of experience alive before they were slumbering beneath Maar.
The reason why I say “before” their slumber is because Pelekoa seemed to have a vested interest in making sure Akriloth remained undisturbed for some reason, as outlined in the design notes designated: Jaania’s Thorns (which details Tipu and Ahimsa’s backstory), almost as if they knew exactly what would happen if he ever woke up again. Though I suppose its just as likely that something amiss while Akriloth was asleep as well.
Either way, this is where things become confusing. Akriloth was known as the fabled defender of Maar and yet the very fact that the Pelekoans wanted to keep Akriloth’s presence a secret would indicate that for some time they no longer saw the Great Dragon as their trusted protector. So, what went wrong? For all intents and purposes, it feels like nothing should have gone awry. It’s outlined in Jaania’s Thorns that Pelekoa was a place where its human occupants lived in peace with the dragons residing there, in addition, it was also the place where the Guardians of the Fire, the holders of the Fire Orb created by Fiamme, dwelt.
For some time, Maar seems like it should have been a stronghold for order and stability of the Balance. So, why in one dark moment did its most legendary defender destroy it all?
Clearly, something went wrong, but when and why? I’d say whatever steered Akriloth toward the path of destruction likely occurred before he took his molten nap. Though the question is what could it have been? Well, I think there might be three potential candidates here. The first is quite possibly the Shadowscythe itself. We know that the adventurer responsible for waking Akriloth up was fooled into finding them in the first place which likely means whoever tricked them wanted Akriloth to be disturbed in the first place. We know that members of the Shadowscythe often have far reaching plans when it comes to obtaining their ultimate goal to the point, they will slowly nudge events along in the hopes it will lead to enough chaos in the future to gain the upper hand. If we consider this line of thought, then perhaps an agent of Doom, quite possibly the Mysterious Stranger, infiltrated the city of Pelekoa and discovered that Akriloth was sleeping beneath the earth. Knowing full well that Akriloth was in a delicate state while under Maar, this agent leads an unassuming adventurer, foreign to Pelekoa, to wake Akriltoh up so that they would destroy the island and its defenders. All the while getting the benefit of Akriloth making a beeline for the Land of Dragons and subsequently throwing the region into further chaos.
The second canidate, though perhaps not as likely, is the Magesterium. The reason why I peg them as a candidate behind Akriloth’s lack of care is primarily two sources, or rather the existence of at least one of them.
We know, according to Voyna, that the dragons present on Azaveyr betrayed their oaths to protect the humans there.
Now for what reason the Azayveran dragons turned their backs on the humans cannot be said but what I find curious is that this relationship between them and humanity was characterized as an alliance of all things.
An alliance of all things implies that both sides had to have some mutually beneficial incentive in mind to want to enter it in the first place, so what could it have been?
Well, again it was likely the threat of the Shadowscythe as who else would humanity need protecting from?
Circling back to the conflict with the dragons, Voyna’s journal entry mentions that their people’s highest-ranking mages, likely early Magesters, were sent out across the sea, to the Land of Dragons, to find something, anything, that could help turn the tide against the dragons in their favor. Now with the recent quest of Project Casca being released, we know this was the Fissure, and by extension the piece of the mana core that was previously in their custody. Before Roirr basically ate the damn thing.
With these details in mind, I’d say there’s a good chance they crossed through Maar either on their way to the location of the Fissure or on their way back from it when they acquired the fragment of the Mana Core.
So, what if, while Akriloth was relatively still young, the collective mages and forces they brought with them fought their way through Maar, fighting its inhabitants, and in the ensuing battle managed to either significantly wound Akriloth enough to the point where they were forced to sleep and recover beneath Maar for centuries or the Mages used their magic, which I can imagine was the refined type if they were going back to Azaveyr, to trap Akriloth beneath Maar keeping them from escaping until this magic lost its hold when that unknown adventurer was fooled into finding Akirloth’s lair. In either scenario, I’d imagine Akriloth would be pretty pissed off that they were attacked and confined in this manner and possibly would have condemned all of humanity for suffering such a fate, even blaming their allies for not being able to properly protect them.
Alternatively, this could have also taken place long after the conflict with Voyna/the Whisper had concluded and the Shapeless Empire had been established, though likely still in its infancy as an empire. It may be possible that scenario I described took place on Maar just some time after the humans were able to push the dragons out of Azaveyr though I imagine this time around such an event involving the Magesterium’s interference would have been way more covert.
The third, and perhaps oddest of all candidates, is that the culprits of Akriloth’s ire and madness were the Pelekoans themselves. If we consider once again the details outlined in Jaania’s Thorns, the Pelekoans kept Akriloth's presence as their most well-hidden secret. Potentially, this would mean they quite possibly never wanted Akriloth to be disturbed from their slumber. So, what if the reason for this course of action is because those generations before Tipu and Ahisma were responsible for keeping or forcing Akriloth beneath Maar to sleep. It would explain why Akriloth made sure to kill everyone and everything on the island. Imagine that for years, and past lives, you protected the lives of these humans that were supposed to have your back only for them to turn on you and imprison you for Avatars knows how long. You would probably want to wipe them off the face of the Lore as well.
Now I do find this theory to be somewhat unlikely for two key reasons. Namely, my skepticism comes from what Tipu and Ahisma tell us as when we question them about their background at the base of Jaania’s tower they tell us that they were meant to be heroes amongst their people. Now that might not seem like it means anything at first until you glance at the breastplate that is present on both twins’ armor. It shares striking similarities o the Fang of Akriloth attendant’s breastplate on their armor.
This resemblance leads me to believe one of two things: that Tipu and Ahisma were being trained as dragonlords and had dragons that are now very much dead if Tipu’s words are anything to judge by or they may have quite possibly been trained to be the new attendants of Akriloth in their generation. Combine that possibility with the fact that both the dragons and humans on Maar were still living in harmony before Akriloth woke up and it begins to become confusing as to why they specifically would trap Akriloth below the island destroying that bond in the process.
The fourth possibility, although the least interesting one among them, is that this version of Akriloth was just an asshole with a bad temperament from the get-go this time around and the Pelekoans knew if anyone woke them up early, they’d all be screwed regardless of anyone having done anything to Akriloth personally. Heck this scenario doesn’t even necessarily require Shadowscythe interference just some mischievous goober that thought sending someone to get eaten by Akriloth would be funny .Jokes aside, it is certainly possible that this Akriloth was just never raised correctly given that even after destroying Maar, Akriloth takes actions that specifically threaten the Balance. Care towards human life aside, you would think the one thing they were born to uphold and not threaten would be Akriloth’s next step but nope, he just wanted to burn everything to the ground after waking up from his lava nap. Which does seem feasible given it is mention in Book 1 that they needed to be raised properly to do their job. Which tragically might mean that whoever was responsible for caring for Akriloth this time around simply failed to instill in them the proper values to uphold their responsibilities
Unless, of course, Akriloth was always just predestined to be evil this time around if we consider that their actions were required of them when the prophecy of the Twins went into motion again. Although that seems like a stretch.
With my speculations regarding the truth of why the tragedy of Maar occurred concluded, I think we need to look towards where Akriloth could go from here. The reason I say this is because by the end of the finale of the orb saga, Akriloth has already reincarnated.
Furthermore, despite previously being within Sepulchure’s custody when his new fortress was destroyed by Drakath, the baby version of Akriloth managed to escape the catastrophe and is now somewhere on Lore doing who knows what.
I firmly believe that this new incarnation of Akriloth being found will make all the difference between them being the Protector they once were and the monster we’ve come to remember them as.
Ah, but that concludes my thoughts on Akriloth for the moment. Man, this ended up being way longer than I intended. Oh and here’s a link to the Jaania’s Thorns DN: https://www.dragonfable.com/gamedesignnotes/Inquisithorns-5641
Ya know in case anyone was interested in reading that source.
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A Shattered Peace: Chapter 12
A Bit Like Home
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Pairing: Commander Wolffe x FemJedi!OC
Word Count: 5.5K
Chapter Rating: T
Chapter Summary: Abregado, from Amara's POV.
A/N: *Cries in six months since I last posted a chapter*
Also available on AO3
Amara stared out the viewport of the Sagacious, an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.
The Four-Fourteen were returning to Coruscant, finally, after a month of back-to-back missions. She should have felt relief, eagerness even. But that feeling, gnawing away at her insides, told Amara that something, somewhere, was very very wrong.
“You’ve run the systems check?”
Beside her, Commander Riv nodded. “Twice now, Sir. Everything’s working as it should.”
“And the scanners?”
“Nothing out of the ordinary.” In the corner of her eye she saw him turn toward her, but Amara stayed staring at the blue-white rush of hyperspace. “The Four-Fourteen’s fine, General.”
She pursed her lips. “I know.”
And she did. Nothing was wrong with her battalion. They were safe and well and on their way to a much deserved break. But that feeling … she’d never been wrong about that feeling before.
Which could mean only one other thing.
Amara raised her wrist and keyed in a code on her comm. “Comet, this is General Kora. I need you on the bridge.”
*****
Three Weeks Earlier – Somewhere Outside the Ryloth System
“I appreciate your concern, Master Plo, but the Four-Fourteen and I have it handled.”
“Even so, I’ve sen—” the holo in front of Amara flickered in and out, breaking up Plo’s response. “He’ll arrive so—”
“Master Plo?” Amara fiddled with the frequency, trying to get his projection back on the table.
“It’s no use, Sir,” Flame spoke from the control port. “We’ve lost external comms.”
“Excellent.” She glanced around the room. “Anyone have a clue what he was trying to say?”
There was silence for a beat and then, “Not so much what he said, general, but a ship just exited the nearest hyperspace lane. ”
Amara turned to the screen Captain Hall was pointing at, narrowing in on the flashing beacon. “Is that an x-wing, Captain?”
“Yes, Sir, I believe it is.”
She shook her head. Overprotective and meddling men. That’s what the entire 104th was made up of now, she supposed.
“Captain Hall, try to figure out the communications issue and make sure it doesn’t cross over to anything else. I won’t have us completely cut off whenever the Seppies finally decide to make a move.”
“Yes, general.” Hall paused, raised an eyebrow. “Is that the ship I think it is?”
“Yes it is, Captain.” Amara sighed. “I hope we have a spare bunk.”
*****
One of the very first things Master Plo had ever taught Amara after she’d become his Padawan was to never be afraid to accept help. He’d taught her through his own actions, letting her assist him on missions or with tasks that he could have easily done on his own, liaising with other Jedi to solve problems Amara knew for a fact he’d already solved in his head.
She’d questioned him about it once. When he’d let her lead them on a roundabout route across a seemingly barren planet and gotten them into a scuffle with the locals. Plo, gracious as always, set things straight and led them to safety within a standard hour.
“You could have taken over from the start.” She’d pouted, arms crossed and kicking at a patch of grass as they walked. “All my ‘help’ did was cause more trouble.”
“I don’t view it that way. Neither should you.”
Amara stopped in her tracks and stared at him until he turned to face her. “I almost got us killed.”
Plo chuckled. “Far from it, young one. The locals were merely curious. As were we.” He gestured to the area around them. “And now we know more about this planet and these people than we did before. Far more,” he tilted his head, “than we would have if I’d led us directly to our destination.”
Amara let her eyes wonder across the plains around them, pushing down the uneasiness at the way the grass against her calves echoed grass on another planet from long ago. She took in the purple blue sky, suns settling in the distance. It was a beautiful place. Still … “I didn’t plan this.”
Wrinkles appeared around Plo’s mask and she knew he was smiling. “When we accept help, we accept everything that comes with it. Expected and unexpected alike.” He turned to watch the setting suns with her. “How much more pleasant it is to view that with excitement at discovering something new than with trepidation about the unknown.”
As she stood in the hangar bay now, watching a maroon-striped x-wing settle into the space across from her, Amara tried to keep Plo’s words in mind. Help should be welcomed. Even if she didn’t need it.
Even if she strongly suspected Plo was relying on her remembering what he taught her so she wouldn’t be upset that he was being overprotective.
She grit her teeth and waited for the ship door to open.
When it did, and an all too familiar clone stepped out, Amara felt all the anger in her deflate. There were only so many people Plo could have sent that would have guaranteed a less angry response from her, and Comet was top of that list.
That didn’t mean she wasn’t still going to demand some answers, though.
She raised her voice to be heard over the hangar clatter. “He sent you before he even made the call, didn’t he?”
Comet took his helmet off, a grimace already visible. “The general or the commander?”
Amara blinked. She had meant Master Plo, but now that Comet mentioned it …
“This was Wolffe’s idea?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You pretty much did, Comet.”
Comet scratched at the back of his neck, squinting over Amara’s shoulder. “It’s good to see you, General?”
Amara opened her mouth to get them back on topic, to remind Comet that as happy as she was to see him, she didn’t need a babysitter. But something in the clone’s voice stopped her.
In all her time with the 104th, Comet had always been the calm, lighthearted, happy one of the group. The first to try and put a smile on everyone’s faces. His words just now fit that category, on the surface. But Amara could feel all was not exactly right. Not at all.
She tilted her head, took in the dark circles under Comet’s eyes. The too-thin lines of his mouth trying to smile, but not quite succeeding. “What’s wrong?”
He blinked a few times, not-quite-a-smile wavering for a moment before he pulled himself up straighter. “I’m just here to help, Sir.”
Amara didn’t buy it, not for a second. Especially not when she opened up to the Force and felt something hovering in Comet’s soft yellow aura that she’d never associated with him before: shame and hatred. There was much more at stake than he was letting on.
She stopped in the hallway, and, after glancing at the passing clones, pulled them into a quiet corner. Comet avoided her eyes as she put a hand on his shoulder. “I might not be your commander anymore, Comet. But I still know when something’s wrong.” She waited until he finally looked back at her before continuing. “And I don’t need to be your commander to still care, either. Wolffe sent you for a reason. I’d like to know what that reason is.”
Comet leaned his head back against the wall and sighed. “Permission to tell you once we finish this mission?”
Amara peered at him for a moment longer, tempted to remind him that secrets didn’t make for successful missions. She would listen, she would understand. But she remembered something Wolffe had said to her as she’d watched his brothers leave a small pile of helmets on a coral reef on Tibrin, before everything had gone to shit but after they’d already lost too many. She’d wanted to go to them, to share in their grief and comfort them. Wolffe held her back with a hand on her arm and just a few words:
They don’t need you to comfort them. They need you to listen.
So she swallowed back her words, let her hand fall from Comet’s shoulder, and nodded. “Permission granted. Let’s get you up to speed, yeah?”
Comet released another breath and the Force around him lightened, just a bit. “Yes, Sir.”
*****
Despite everyone’s worries, the mission — several tricky supply runs to refugees on the neighboring planets of Ryloth — went off without a hitch. And despite Amara’s concerns, Comet had been immensely helpful. He’d let the reconnaissance skills he was so well known for in the 104th take over during the mission, and if Amara hadn’t known better, she’d have said he was perfectly fine. It didn’t help that working alongside someone she’d trained with for months instead of just a couple of weeks was easy to fall back into.
So easy, that part of her almost wanted to leave it alone. To let Comet do what he wanted so long as it meant a part of the 104th could stay with her. And maybe that’s what Commander Kora, someone who never really had to make final decisions and could rely on others to pick up where she slacked off, would have done.
But that wasn’t what General Kora, responsible for every soldier under her name, could let herself do.
When they entered hyperspace and left Ryloth’s nearest moon far behind, Amara found Comet alone in the training room, staring down a punching bag.
“You know,” she said, walking up to the other side of the bag, “I found Wolffe in exactly this position just before we last left Coruscant. Turns out he had a few things he wanted to say, too.”
“Guess it runs in the genes.” He nodded at the bag and Amara held it steady, bracing for his punches.
“I’ll take your word for it because I’ve given up trying to figure that one out.”
Comet landed his first one-two punch, eyes focused, mouth set in a firm line. Then he landed another. And another. And more until there were no breaks between the sets and Amara was relying on the Force to keep the bag from swinging into her face. She stayed in her position, regardless. Comet had something he needed to work through, and he was allowing her to exist in his space while he figured it out. She’d learned from Wolffe that such a thing wasn’t something she should take for granted.
Finally, when his punches came more slowly and his breathing evened out, Comet spoke.
“The last mission the Wolfpack was on …” he grabbed the bag and looked off to the side, the Force around him tense. “I fucked it up.”
Amara had assumed whatever was bothering him would have come from something like that. She’d looked up the mission report, chest briefly aching at the familiarity of Wolffe’s detailed writing. There had been trouble at the Nexus, a floating trading post on Quarmendy, and Plo had sent the Wolfpack to secure the planet away from Separatist control.
She moved to his side and put a hand on his shoulder. “I read about the mission. Aside from the Nexus being destroyed, it seems like everything was a success. About as good as it gets these days, anyway.”
“Do you know how many people died in that explosion?”
“They weren’t able to gather exact numbers,” she let her hand slide away, “but Wolffe estimated about two dozen in his report.”
Comet nodded and stepped away from the bag, eyes still focused on the far wall. “It was my fault, the explosion. Said the wrong thing to Tambor at the wrong time.” He shook his head. “Those people … their deaths are on my hands. Most of them didn’t even have anything to do with the war.”
“The report didn’t say anything—”
“Yeah,” Comet laughed ruefully, finally looking at her, “Wolffe’s real good at not pointing any fingers. Said it was a ‘collective oversight’ so I wouldn’t risk getting a mark against me.”
Amara hesitated, crossing her arms over her chest and wondering what in the hells she could say to him. The clones were made for war, for battle, for casualties and hard choices. Despite how open Wolffe had been with her — and if she was honest with herself, he hadn’t really been all that open —, most of his brothers were good at hiding what their true feelings about everything might be.
She wasn’t used to being on the receiving end of a guilty war-time confession.
She did, however, have some idea of what Comet was feeling. She imagined it wasn’t altogether very different from how she’d felt in the immediate aftermath of Tibrin. No one had been able to explain or excuse her guilt away, and she had a feeling the same would be true for Comet.
So, despite the fact that she knew Wat Tambor would have destroyed the Nexus regardless of what Comet did or didn’t say, Amara focused on something the clone could answer.
“Then why are you here, Comet? Wolffe wouldn’t send you away for something he doesn’t blame you for.”
“Believe me, he didn’t want to.” Comet hesitated, words coming more slowly. “I asked for a break.”
“But a break is—” Amara blinked as the reality of what he’d said settled around her. Anger took over her confusion and she ignored her previous determination to be gentle with him. “What the fuck were you thinking asking for that?”
Comet looked a bit ashamed but at least had the decency to not turn away from her. “Wolffe wasn’t too happy with me either.”
Amara took a moment to calm the rising anger and horror in her chest. Of course Wolffe wouldn’t have been happy. For a clone, ‘taking a break’ wasn’t a respite or a holiday or anything that resulted in some kind of calm. ‘Taking a break’ was being sent to Kamino for secondary duty, risking analyses and tests that could result in battalion transfer or sanitation duty or something much, much worse that the clones never even wanted to talk about. ‘Taking a break’ was effectively asking to be set out to pasture and forgotten about. How the hell had Comet come to this in the two months since she’d last seen him?
The same way you almost stepped away after Tibrin.
Amara closed her eyes and took a breath. She could see very clearly now why Wolffe had sent Comet to her rather than anyone else.
So instead of a lecture full of words that wouldn’t really mean anything, Amara sat down on the padded floor and gestured for Comet to join her.
“You know … I questioned everything after Tibrin. When I blew up that last reef? I wasn’t even thinking of the people on it. The only thing on my mind was protecting my men, buying us a little more time to figure something out.” She took breath. “I haven’t told anyone this. Haven’t even let myself think it, but … I could feel when they died. I was in the water, halfway back to our reef and everything around me just lost its color for a moment. The water wasn’t that bright turquoise, the corals weren’t that dusty pink. It was all grey.”
Amara replayed that moment in her mind. Could feel the waves rushing against her chest, the agony of such an abrupt loss threatening to pull her under. When she’d pulled herself up onto the reef, she’d acted like it was no big deal, just another action in the time of war that she’d swallow down. But it had taken everything in her just to turn her back on the destruction she’d wrought.
“When one of you dies,” she finally looked at Comet then, saw him focused intently on her, “or one of the Jedi, I feel it. The loss, the pain. The freedom, sometimes. But nothing … nothing ever quite like that before. We got on the Resolute and I didn’t want to risk ever putting myself in that position again.”
Comet nodded, a rush of empathy coloring the Force around him. “What changed your mind?”
“Master Plo.” Amara smiled, thinking of the talk they’d had in one of the Temple gardens. “He told me the Republic need generals who learned from their mistakes and who genuinely cared. To take one more position away from those who might not.”
“Do you ever wish you’d made a different choice?”
Every day, a voice inside of her whispered. But Amara wasn’t sure that was entirely true. Yes, she spent a few moments every day thinking on her choices. Thinking on the paths that led her to where she was. But that didn’t mean she regretted the life she’d committed to.
“I wonder if what I’m doing actually makes a difference. If what I’m adding that’s ‘good’ balances the bad.”
Comet sighed. “I know what you mean. I’m afraid of what other guilt I’ll have to carry around. Of what else this war will make me do that tips that balance in the wrong direction.”
“Then don’t let it,” Amara shook her head, trying to shake away the truth in Comet’s words. “That guilt you feel, Comet, it doesn’t have to consume you. Learn from it. Let it make you better. Let it make you even more of the kind of soldier that maybe we don’t deserve but that we desperately, desperately need.”
They let the words hang between them. Amara wondered what Wolffe would think of everything she’d just said to Comet. It wasn’t more or less than anything they’d said to each other. But there was something different about sharing this, something she’d used to forge a connection with Wolffe, with someone else. The thought brought with it an overwhelming sense of longing in the pit of her stomach.
She swallowed tightly around the pain as Comet shifted next to her. She could think about Wolffe later. Maybe she’d send him a message, ask to debrief back on Coruscant. She could make time in her schedule for him. She would make time.
“You know,” Comet chuckled to himself, pulling Amara away from her thoughts, “I get it now.”
A smile pulled at her lips as Comet kept laughing. “Get what?”
“Why Wolffe likes talking to you so much.” He wiped at his eyes, missing the blush that rose to Amara’s cheeks.
She didn’t speak to the men about what Wolffe might or might not think about her. The conversation with Sinker that last night with the 104th was the closest she’d gotten and she was thankful for that. It was hard enough dealing with her feelings without knowing what he said about her to other people.
Still … it wouldn’t hurt to know just a little. After all, it had been nearly two months since she’d last seen him.
“How would you know that?”
Comet raised an eyebrow at her. “He sent me here for a reason, right?”
Right. That was it. Of course Wolffe didn’t talk about her with Comet in any other way. Why would he? They were just—
“And he told me to give you this after the mission.” Comet reached into the pouch of his belt lying next to him and pulled out a holo puck, guilt hedging into his smile. “I would have given it to you sooner, but I knew you’d want to talk and I just … wasn’t ready.”
He placed the puck in her palm and Amara had to remind herself to breathe. The promise of hearing Wolffe’s voice again, after so long without it, was enough to make her want to sprint back to her quarters, abandoning Comet on the training room floor. She shook her head and put the puck away safely in her own belt and eyed Comet.
“You’re lucky you didn’t lose that.”
“And risk never being allowed to return to the 104th?” He placed a hand over his heart. “No chance.”
Amara hummed, pleased to hear a bit of the old Comet back in his voice. “So … no ‘taking a break’?”
Comet huffed out a breath. “No. No, I think I’ve put that behind me.”
Unexpected tears stung the back of Amara’s eyes and she blinked them away before he could see. Maybe agreeing to be a general, agreeing to keep fighting in this war she still wasn’t sure about, had been worth it, even if just for this.
“Well, if you ever need ‘a break’ again,” she narrowed her eyes at him, “you’re always welcome here. Let that phrase mean something else from now on, understood?”
Comet nodded, face serious but the Force much lighter around him than she’d seen it since he first arrived on her ship. “Yes, General.”
“Good.”
Amara stood up, checking briefly to make sure Wolffe’s holo puck was safely tucked away, before pulling Comet up with her. He smiled, gathering up his things to leave. But Amara hesitated.
Now that she was free to run off and listen to Wolffe’s message in peace, she found that she was terrified to hear what he had to say. Her expectations, she feared, were too high. She cleared her throat and, when Comet glanced back at her, she gestured to the square in the centre of the training room where the clones usually sparred.
“The Four-Fourteen are good sparring buddies, but it’s hard to beat the 104th. Think I might be getting a bit rusty.”
Comet stared at her for a moment, clearly reading between the lines. If he’d been Boost he would have called her out on it. Sinker would have shook his head and walked away. But Comet was, despite everything, still Comet. He smiled and dropped his stack of armor.
“I did notice you struggling to hold that punching bag still, General. Sure you’re up for a round?”
Amara followed him to the square, relief relaxing her shoulders and centering her mind away from Wolffe. At least a bit.
“I said I was rusty. Not that I couldn’t still kick your shebs into the next sector.”
Comet laughed and it sounded just a bit like home.
*****
An hour later, Amara walked into her quarters, sweaty from sparring and finally ready to listen to Wolffe’s message.
Well, she looked down at her shaking hands, maybe ‘ready’ was a bit of an overstatement.
Comms with the 104th had never recovered after their initial breakdown when Comet arrived, and any contact she’d had with her old battalion preceding that had been only with Plo. Amara tried not to read into that.
She took out the holo puck from her belt and tossed it between her hands, feeling the cool metal against her skin and thinking of the last words she’d said to Wolffe, back on Coruscant.
See you around, Wolffe.
It had been a promise, small and subtle enough to ignore if they wanted. But she didn’t want to. And she didn’t think he did, either. They’d see each other again, so long as they survived. They’d exist in each other’s lives, even if that existence looked a little different than before. Whatever was on this holo had all the leverage in determining just how different that existence would be.
She wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted, but maybe that was for the best. If she couldn’t decide between her feelings and her duty, then whatever Wolffe said, whichever way his message might lean, stood no chance of disappointing her.
Master Plo would have seen right through that excuse, but he wasn’t here. Amara was alone. And she could make that excuse her reality as much as she damn well pleased.
Settled, Amara set the puck on the shelf next to her bunk, turned it on before she lost the nerve, and curled up with her back against the wall, ready.
When the blue-white recording of Commander Wolffe of the 104th Battalion smiled across at her, a softness in the wavering depths of his eyes that she hadn’t known she’d missed, Amara let herself relax and she let herself smile back.
****
I’ll see you around, Amara. I don’t know when or in what way, but I’ll see you. That’s a promise I know I can keep.
The end of Wolffe’s recording echoed in Amara’s mind as she tried to explain to Comet why she’d called him to the bridge when she couldn’t exactly explain it herself. Wolffe would never break a promise, if he said he would see her again, he would.
Unless he’s dead. Amara blinked the voice away.
“If you’ve had any contact at all with the 104th, Comet, I need to know.”
He could be dead.
Comet shook his head, the rest of his body perfectly still. “No, General. Not since I left the Triumphant three weeks ago. Are you sure it’s not just an issue with our own comms?”
He’s probably dead. Amara stared out into the whirl of hyperspace, letting Riv answer for her.
“Comms are working fine now. We’ve sent messages back to Coruscant, requesting an update and received nothing back so far.” Riv glanced at her but Amara stayed staring forward. “But the general has a … feeling.”
The weight of Comet’s stare added to Riv’s. They were waiting for her to say something, anything. Amara couldn’t get her mouth to move.
“General,” Comet moved to stand next to her, eyes still on her instead of the viewport. “What kind of feeling?”
Amara finally looked up at him and saw all the fear she felt reflected in his dark eyes. She owed him, of all people on this ship, an answer. She didn’t have one, but she had to give him something. She was the general here, it was her job to keep the men moving, alleviate their worries, give them some hope. She cleared her throat, ready to tell Comet it was just a worry, maybe an overreaction.
And then her head exploded into a thousand pieces.
“General?” Hands grabbed at her, trying to … pull her up? Was she no longer standing? “General Kora what’s wrong?”
Amara shook the hands off, her skin sensitive with a deep-seated ache as she pushed her own hands against her forehead, trying to escape the pain. She could see everything around her in staggering clarity, but it was grey, so grey. Grey like it was on Tibrin when so many people died all at once.
It was happening again. The loss. The pain. The ache in the Force. But this time was so so much worse. She’d been naive, back then, to think she’d experienced the worse of death. This felt like pieces of her brain, of her heart, ceasing to exist. She couldn’t speak.
Dead
She could sense people moving around her, could feel the ship humming beneath her, could see the lines of worry in every face. Was that Comet? Ordering a medic to help her? And Riv, messing with the communications hub?
She couldn’t speak.
They’re all dead.
She couldn’t—
“This is a message for General Amara Kora of the 414th battalion.” Master Windu’s voice, always a solace to her, pulled her back from the brink. Amara blinked and stared at his outline on the holo table, everything else fading into the background even as the pounding in her head and chest continued. “The 104th have encountered a dangerous new weapon and we have lost contact. The 414th is to continue back to Coruscant immediately. We do not yet know how to defeat this weapon and we cannot afford to lose another battalion.” He stared at her. She wasn’t sure he could actually see her, didn’t know if this was live or recorded, but he stared right at her. The seriousness of his next words highlighted by the stern set of his mouth. “There is nothing you can do right now. Return to the Temple and we will debrief you there.”
The holo winked out of view and Master Windu’s voice was replaced by Comet’s.
“He didn’t tell us where they were when they lost contact. Why didn’t he tell us where they were?”
Amara leaned against the table, brushing off their medic, Helix, with a gentle nudge. “Because he knew if he told me, I’d ignore his orders and take us there anyway.”
Comet scoffed. “Because that’s the reasonable thing to do, General. We’re a full battalion, we can help.”
Amara stared at the empty holo table, wincing at the similar emptiness she felt in her head, in her heart, in the very core of her being. Every bone in her body was screaming at her to exert all of the 414th’s resources on finding out where the 104th was. She needed to find them. Needed to know exactly how many of them were dead.
Because they were dead. She could feel the absence of so many she’d come to know over the past months, even if she couldn’t pinpoint exactly who the absences belonged to. They were dead. They were dead. They were dead.
There was absolutely nothing she could do about that now, but she could get these men, these very alive men, back to Coruscant. To whatever passed for safety these days.
I don’t know how long I’ll last in this war. Amara closed her eyes for just a moment against Wolffe’s words before she straightened up and let go of the holo table.
She looked Comet directly in the eye, because she owed him that much. “We increase our speed as safely as possible. But we continue our path to Coruscant all the same.”
Comet shook his head, anger darkening his Force color. “You don’t mean that.”
She turned her attention to the 414th clones on the bridge and spoke with as much strength as she could muster. “Understood?”
“Yes, Sir”s echoed around her and Amara made her way the bridge door.
“General, you should come with me.” Helix blocked her exit, concern etched across his brow. “If I hadn’t watched you in there just now, I’d say you have a concussion.”
Amara shook her head, holding back a wince at the staggering pain. “I’m fine, Helix. I just need to meditate.” She waved a hand and pushed past him. “Jedi stuff. You wouldn’t understand.”
She had the vague impression of Helix protesting behind her, but she continued on down the hall and toward her quarters. Her head screamed with every step, something pulled at her heart with every breath. She needed to lie down. She needed to meditate. She needed to figure out what the fuck had happened.
She needed, desperately, to let herself cry.
“Wolffe would go after you.”
Amara stopped, hand reaching out to palm her door open, and tried to focus past the pain. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Comet.”
“The hell I do, General. He would go after you. And you know it."
I miss you, Amara … It’s enough for me to know that you know.
Amara pulled her hand back and turned to face Comet, the light behind him making her squint. “No he wouldn’t. He would get his men to safety. He would—” She paused to rub at her eyes. The light was too fucking bright. “He would put everyone and their needs ahead of himself and his wants because that’s what we do. I have a responsibility to these men. Wolffe would understand that.”
“You used to have a responsibility to the 104th, too. General.”
His words hung between them, weighing the air down and threatening to bring forth the tears Amara was trying so hard to keep at bay. This wasn't the Comet she knew. Even at his worst, he'd never talked to her this way. But she could feel his pain in the Force alongside his anger and it matched her own. She was the general, he was the soldier, and she was responsible for him. Regardless of whether he believed it or not.
“I don’t think Wolffe would have sent you to me if he didn’t think I still took that responsibility seriously.” She turned away from him and opened her door. “Get some rest, Comet.”
The door swished close behind her, but not before she heard the loud thump of a fist connecting with a durasteel wall.
Pulling Wolffe’s holo puck out of her belt, Amara sank to the floor. With shaking hands, she turned on the recording.
General Kora … Amara. I asked Comet to give you this recording …
As words she’d already memorized consumed her, Amara tentatively reached into the Force, searching for his distinct signature. They were so connected, so in tune with one another that surely she’d feel him. Surely she’d be able to know for certain if he was …
A wall of pain blocked her from searching further. Her connection with the Force was too fraught, too sensitive, too overwhelmed with loss. If she tried any harder, she’d risk hurting herself permanently.
I hope that when you’re listening to this, you’re rolling your eyes and muttering something about how I didn’t need to explain it so much because you already knew.
Amara looked back at the holo, eyes tracing the quirk of Wolffe’s lips, the gentle set of his arms crossed over his chest.
I also hope you know that I’m explaining it all because I miss you.
As a sob yanked itself free from her too-tight throat, Amara covered her face and finally let herself cry.
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