to all my US followers:
“I’m not sure if you’re aware but the US Supreme Court just struck down affirmative action (saying you can’t “discriminate” on the basis of race) (affirmative action just says that a a policy aimed at increasing workplace and educational opportunities for people who are underrepresented in various areas of our society most often looking at people of color) but allowed a homophobic website designer to not have to create a website for same sex marriage (saying you CAN discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation)”
if you are one of my US based followers, please please look into how you can best support the rights of minoritized individuals near you (i’ve attached a petition that was sent to me)
(to the individual that submitted this in an anon ask i am not trying to steal your thunder tumblr just wasn’t letting me answer it!)
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if that inspires you, can you do please lumax + 16 "things you said with no space between us" ?
helloooo nonny! this one's a few days late and i'm so sorry, but i finally got to finish this lil thing and now i'm having brainrot fr. (small cw for allusions to max's family situation)
lucas will NOT be seeing it (2017) in theaters.
16. things you said with no space between us
There’s this horrible quiet that comes with doom.
Max knows it well at this point, actually finds some comfort in it now that she doesn’t have to drown out all her thoughts with music. It’s such a certain thing. The ultimate perspective on life, the knowledge of what’s important and what isn’t. Max maybe kind of likes it.
Lucas, on the other hand, gets antsy.
Silence, to him, isn’t a comfort. Maybe ever. Max understands it in a way – the Sinclair house is rarely quiet. Erica alone is loud enough to fill any room with life, but Sue isn’t far behind her either, a more comforting but steady stream of chatter she keeps up easy as breathing. Charles is the only reserved one but even he gets animated when the right subject gets brought up. Like planes or Lucas’ biology homework. (Erica once confided in Max that she’s 100% sure Lucas got his “nerd genes” from their father’s side of the family. “You should hear Uncle Jack go off,” she’d said with a long and meaningful look.)
Spending time at the Sinclairs’ definitely shed some light on Lucas’ constant bickering with Dustin and Mike. There’s no fear in him that a simple argument can shift and shake in a single word. His parents built him and Erica a home where they never have to be truly afraid of their punishments.
If Max had that, maybe she wouldn’t relish silence either.
But she did, and so she does, while Lucas gets into his own head. He and Mike can give each other a run for the money in pacing.
And sometimes, like now, Max can’t take it. She waits for him to pass her and stops him short, tugging at his sleeve. She’s sitting crisscross applesauce on the ground and at this point they’ve done this often enough, so he knows what she’s saying.
With a sigh he abandons his route and lowers himself to sit in front of her. He spins himself so it’s his back to her and she uncrosses her legs so he can lean back against her while she brackets him, leaving little to no space between them.
It makes her feel better, knowing that she's someone's resting place. Sometimes it's nice to feel relied on.
“Do you want the Walkman?” she asks, hands hovering over it at her side. Sometimes that helps, to introduce sound into the dread. They’ve learned to communicate with the lights anyway, he doesn’t always need his ears.
“No,” he says. “I just wanna get this over with.”
Max laughs, a little bitter. “You know after this there’s just gonna be another one. And another. And another.”
He tilts his head back. She’s already looking down at the top of his head, so their noses are almost touching now. The smell of him sits deep inside her chest, an automatic recognition of him.
“Yeah, but eventually we’ll figure out how to get to the end,” he says and sounds wonderfully confident. Against her better judgment it warms Max from the inside out. His conviction is always so infectious, it’s hard to resist
Still, she can’t resist challenging him just a little. “What if we don’t?”
He shakes his head and she feels it against her torso and bumping against her legs. “We will.” He bumps his nose against hers. “And then I never wanna see a Stephen King movie again.”
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Hi! What can you say about Lilith earth sign trine Saturn earth sign in natal chart? Thanks sm!
Lilith - Saturn Aspect
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Lilith is influenced by Saturn, which provides a valuable lesson in concentration, learning from discipline, and taking steps to work smoothly and create your personal structure and authority. It's your behavioural choices to achieve work-life balance while maintaining your stability and security and focusing on more meaningful aspects of life. Striving for balance and moderation is essential lesson for you - to avoid places that trigger insecurity or fear of losing what one desires.
notes: If square or opposition aspects are present, taking responsibility may be challenging.
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It is the observation based on my experiences - If you have different opinions, please share them with me. I would love to hear them. ♡
@botanicalsword
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for me an essential element of dean’s character is that there’s some unspoken part of him that always goes unresolved. like dean is someone who is heavily repressed and limited by the facts of his upbringing and his life, but for me I think that unresolved-ness goes deeper than that. that even if you were to remove him from hunting and permanently place him in a stable and loving environment, there would still be some part of dean that is in perpetual disquiet. collapsing all the tensions that hold dean together would mean collapsing the character itself. and I think where this particular disquiet resides is in the realm of his relationship to masculinity.
and I don’t mean this in a depressing way! I’ve been trying to articulate why certain fanon trends don’t really do much for me personally without sounding like a spoil sport. but I find the popular interpretation of dean as transmasc un-compelling FOR ME PERSONALLY because for me transness has always been about self actualisation. It was like the missing puzzle piece in my life finally slotted into place and I no longer interacted with the world through a haze of existential confusion. my “problem” was, in a word, resolved when I discovered I was trans.
but back to dean. this tension of dean clearly having something vaguely wrong with him and covering it up by trying to be The Perfect Son is such a fundamental component of who he is that, even in an ideal scenario (be it post-canon or alt canon or what have you) where dean is living the normal life he wants to live, there’s just something about him that still feels slightly out of reach. dean is a guy who is never fully at peace with himself and he has, ironically, made peace with that unease. he failed at being a son, he tends to fail pretty frequently at being a man, he failed his brother, he fails fails fails. and the “self-actualisation” component for dean that I’m partial to is one where he embraces this failure for what it is. guess I’m just a bad son! guess I just suck at being a dude! oh well! guess there’s just something wrong with me. and he doesn’t move past that. he just makes peace with that and doesn’t pick at it further.
so like the incredibly specific flavour of trans dean that I like is one where it’s always beneath the surface. it’s not a conscious thing in that he can think about it in concrete terms, it’s just this vague notion of self-otherness that doesn’t go away. he is clearly not good at being a man, and it’s certainly not for lack of trying. but manhood is what he’s used to and what he knows best, so he just keeps going through the motions of being a man because in the grand scheme of things it’s not that big a deal. small, private transgressions of gender are savoured and sporadic, taken at face value as “indulgences” and then never examined beyond that. I like the idea of dean as vaguely nonbinary but he himself isn’t aware of it. it’s always unresolved.
I feel like I’m still not explaining myself well lol. I just personally can’t conceive of dean as someone who goes through big revelations about his identity because a core part of his identity is the fact that he will always be a try-hard and he’ll never quite know why - he did everything his father ever asked of him and it still wasn’t good enough, so it must be something deeper than feeling or reason (the truth of course being that john withheld approval as a form of control, but also dean couldn’t ever be what his dad wanted anyway because he’s not that kind of man). and that informs not only his relationship with other men but also his relationship with his own masculinity. this disquiet with his own manhood hangs eternally suspended, unspoken but present in his life, this almost comforting constant of yeah lol I guess I’m just weird. oh well. he’s not out and proud, nor is he ashamed, it just is what it is.
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Hello, I am new in manifesting, and I just discover your blog today, I am curious about the void and manifesting, I don't completely understand what the void is, but I already understand that what is on your imagination, can be on our 3D. So, can you manifest something it is necessary to enter the void? Or is affirmations fine? And, also, do you have any advice to manifest our ideal life?
Thank you, and sorry for all the questions 🤧💗
Hi anon! The void state (from my understanding/perspective) is a deep meditative state where you are absent from the 3D world. In the void state anything is possible, such as instant manifestations,respawning, shifting, ANYTHING! This is because the “void state” is completely 4D.
Manifesting is when you decide you want something, live as though it’s already fulfilled, and accept it internally within. (Methods are also a “help” when wanting to manifest to remind yourself you already have it.
Also, you can manifest ANYTHING, please remember the void state is ONLY A METHOD. you never have to use the void, nor is it the only way for instant results. Affirmations, are FINE whatever you want, your reality your rules.
The only advice I have (if you’re affirming because that’s what I’m assuming you want to do while reading this) is to affirm, and be in the state of wishful-filled. You can use blanket affs, like for example make a doc of your ideal life down to every.single.detail. I don’t care make it 100 pages long however you want and affirm that you have your ideal life, and that it’s already done and manifested. ( what type of affs don’t matter) whatever you like! You don’t have to affirm on a loop, but whenever you desires come to mind affirm from having what you want not trying to. The only reason you affirm is to remind yourself! I hope this helped if not please feel free to inbox/dm/ask me for more info!
Also you didn’t ask alot of questions :) Happy Manifesting!💝💝
{ PS. IM TRYING TO RESPOND TO ALL INBOXES, SO PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME! I PROMISE IM NOT IGNORING YOU😭}
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did I do something right? the world is being kinder to me.
no, it's not being kinder. I've finally started accepting its kindness. I breath in the air and hold on to the good; and I keep the bad in my heart, to keep me human. I keep everything inside of me as a reminder that I'm real, I'm alive, I'm here.
I'm here, and the wind rushes as I run. I'm alive, and I stifle laughter from outrageous messages. I'm real, and I reach out - and people reach back. they're real, they're alive, they're here, and they've been calling out for me, for us.
I did do something right. I started loving myself a little bit more. the world is not kinder; I am.
thank you for your loving.
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