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figsnpassionfruits · 2 days

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Paint Away, My Little Dove - Chapter 6

word count: 2.2k tags: arthur morgan x fem!reader, fluff, kisses, mentions of sa, mentions of death, canon-typical themes, mentions of human trafficking dividers by: @strangergraphics-archive pictures are from pinterest

“What do you think, Arthur?”

Both of you were back at the Heartlands, close to a nearby farm you had seen last time you rode past. Arthur came up with the idea of letting you practice sketching animals. You wanted to include them in your art; it was just that Arthur could not be around all the time to sketch them for you. So, he came up with the idea of teaching you.

He leaned over, eyes scanning over the cow you had sketched. “Aghhh-“ He started. “If I saw a cow like that I would’ve shot if out of pity.”

“Arthur!” You yelped, slapping his arm in a playful way. “You’re horrible.”

“m’sorry, dove. But we gotta keep on practicin’.” Arthur had a big smile on his face, his voice erupting with laughter as he kept teasing you.

Both of you had missed this. Just sitting on the dry grass, a soft blanket underneath you to protect the clothes from the dirt and a can of dried peaches for the missing sweetness in your mouths. After the past few times you had met, it had been nothing but bad news. This? Yea, Arthur had missed this. The joy you would bring him would make him feel young again. Slowly, his doubt was starting to vanish. Maybe the age gap would not mean that he, an older man, was stealing away your youth. Maybe you were just ready to share a chunk of that.

Arthur had allowed you more insight into his life. The morning after your nightmare he had made the decision to tell you about his upcoming. You had poured out your heart to him. It was only fair to you for him to do the same. Thus he started talking about his camp and the people who brought it to life. He told you stories about each of the members and the adventures he had lived through with them; good and bad. It was heartbreaking hearing him talk about the deaths they had to endure at Colter. Arthur was such a good man, always trying to protect and defend his loved ones. Even without all this knowledge, you had a feeling that he was a hard shell with a soft teddy bear inside. On that morning, he proved you right.

Laughter after laughter you had leaned onto one another, shoulders and arms grazing each other each time the sound would fill the air. His deep voice would harmonize pleasantly with your higher one. Gosh, anyone watching from afar would think that you were on your honeymoon.

Without realizing you had bit your lip, drifting your upper body closer to his, trapping your bottom lip between your teeth as you did so.

Arthur had caught on to your motion. His laughter died down along with yours as he analyzed your movements, trying to predict the next. To him, it seemed like you were leaning in for a kiss. Whether you had comprehended it or not, he did not know. Either way, Arthur was not backing up.

Pecks on shoulders, hands, cheeks and foreheads you had done. Touching each other’s lips, however; not.

And so you stopped. In order to come over the awkwardness, you let out a small cough and plucked an imaginary feather from his hair, mumbling something about that it had annoyed you before he replied with a small ‘thanks’ in return.

“So, ehm- when will I get to meet them? Your camp, I mean.” A pitiful attempt at changing the topic, but it was better than silence.

“I don’t know, Y/N. It’d be safer right now not to. You know now what kinda bastards are looking for us. Not the kind to take it easy on folks. I just don’t want you to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

You hummed to his response. He was right. From what Arthur had told you before, the Pinkertons were constantly on their tails, just waiting for the right moments to strike. How the gang dealt with the stress, you could not explain to yourself. But you could relate to being on the run. That feeling of constant anxiety and fear was nothing you would wish on your worst enemy. The toll it could take on someone could end with death. Paranoid people throwing themselves on train tracks or jumping off cliffs was not rare at this time. And no one could blame them. Folks would rather meet death than whatever else life had in store for them.

“What about that Charles? You always speak so highly of him?” You asked, moving loose strands out of the Arthurs face. “I’d just be at ease knowing you’re around someone that I know as well. That’s all.” You explained, softening your voice, hoping to receive a positive response.

Arthur smiled as he put his rough hand on your cheek, covering most of your soft skin with his. “Alright, darlin’.”

Hours after asking more about the social circle around Arthur and poor attempts of drawing various deformed animals on paper, it had become nighttime. Crickets were making their presence known as coyotes barked all over the Heartlands. Sleeping together in a tent was not unknown to you both anymore. Rather, it had become a routine whenever you spent more than a day with each other. Your body knew who was next to you. Therefore, it was not uncommon that you would snuggle his arm in your sleeping state. Arthur was no different either. Every once in a while he would find himself having a meaty arm around your form, squeezing it tighter instead of letting go when he caught himself doing so.

The chirping of the birds and the warm rays of the sun beamed through the thin fabric of your tent. Arthur was usually the first one to be awake. Today it was no different. As you stirred around, humming soft and quiet sounds, Arthur was leaving soft kisses on your forehead, travelling his lips from that very spot to your nose to give its tip a peck as well, refusing to ignore it. As he was roaming his blue eyes over you, he thought about the conversation you had. Arthur wanted to keep you safe. But at the same time, he was refusing to let you get involved with the gang. There was no way he could be at two places at the same time. If you were at Hamish’s, he was either there or not. If you were at the camp, at least someone else could keep an eye on you. Now that Bronte knew you were still alive, you basically had a target on your back. Minutes and minutes passed as Arthur weighed out his options, pondering about what was the right decision to take. Nevertheless, he could not find an appropriate answer. No matter what it would be, he had to hurry finding it. Time was ticking and Bronte was just getting started.

………………………………………………

Arthur was sitting in the wagon along with Dutch, Bill and Hosea. The four were on their way to Angelo Brontes mansion who was hosting some sort of party. The Italian had invited them to join and so Dutch accepted, assuming it would be casual business. Arthur, however, felt different. None of the others could figure out his mood. For them, he just looked extra grumpy today, not knowing the devastating reality behind it. Keeping his cool was something Arthur never had to struggle with. Tonight, oh god, he did not know if he could.

“Y’okay, boy?” Hosea questioned, sensing Arthurs energy deficiency as the rest of them were laughing over the suits they were wearing. Never had they imagined to be dressing fancy like this while being on the run from the Pinkertons.

Arthur nodded, not facing the older man, staring out of the window instead.

Upon arrival, the four removed their weapons and handed them to Brontes guards at the gate. It seemed like an eternity as they strutted through the massive mansion, following a man who was leading them to a balcony a floor or two above to meet with Angelo Bronte.

Once Arthur set his eyes on him, he could not turn away. Every single thing you had told him about what that man did to you was now being envisioned. No matter how hard he tried to block it out, the rage could not be filtered.

Thankfully Dutch took care of the talking.

To calm himself down, Arthur accepted a cigar given to him, bit off the tip and started inhaling the tobacco within. Every word said by Bronte was igniting the fire within him. ‘Why the hell did I agree to this?’

Angelo Bronte had mentioned something about a trolley station that he would allow to be robbed, whatever that meant. Now being able to recognize the Italians false facade, Arthur did not believe him. Not a bit. Dutch however, gave into it right away, making Arthur curse under his breath, just loud enough for himself to hear.

After what felt like hours of torture, the four had managed to act normal and socialize with the rest of the guests. Arthur had poured drinks here and there, Bill succeeded in stealing a letter from the mayor to Bronte and Dutch and Hosea blended in with the high society.

“Dutch, we gotta leave. I’on know how much longer I can stay here without doing anything stupid.” Arthur said to Dutch as he looked around the garden, faking a small smile to the guests passing by.

“Whatchu mean, Arthur?” Dutch questioned, raising a brow at his statement.

“Ain’t you realizin’ what’s happenin’’ here?” Arthur whispered in a quiet, yet harsh voice. “That man was about to traffic little Jack to sick people and out of a sudden we are fine with him. Who knows how many children are involved.”

Dutch let out a sigh as he put a hand on his shoulder. “Arthur, this ain’t our fight. Senior Bronte just offered us to rob a station in the middle of Saint Denis. He is basically handing us money. We gotta take it.”

“The hell it ain’t, Dutch.” Arthur brushed off his hand off him, taking a step back, shaking his head in disbelief at Dutchs words. “This is wrong and ya know it.” Arthur was pointing a finger at him, venom spitting from his tongue with the way he was accusing him.

Just as they were about to leave, Bronte stopped them at the gate, saying his farewells as he watched the outlaws grab their weapons from the chest they had previously placed them in.

“Mr. Morgan!”

Arthur did not look at him. If he did, he did not know what he would have done to that man, if you could even call him that.

Bronte came up to his side, putting a hand on the taller mans shoulder, standing close enough to Arthur so only he could hear his words. “Did you think about my negotiation?”

His touch felt disgusting. If this was under normal circumstances, Arthur would have pushed his slimy hand off and ground pounded him until he was choking on his own blood. But they were on his property. If he would not get pulled off right away, he would have been shot. This was neither the time nor place.

Arthur joined the rest of the gang, letting Brontes hand fall from his shoulder with the large steps he took. He did not even care enough to look back at him as he stepped into the wagon. Arthur was not going to pretend. That man made him sick and he was not going to allow Bronte to believe otherwise.

……………………………………………

Arthur had returned in the middle of the night, declining the thought of letting you sleep by yourself at the camp you both had set up.

The tents dark fabric was flowing along with the slight wind. Arthur pulled the opening apart, seeing your sleeping form rising and falling in the same slow pace. Even after all the anger he had felt, he could not help but crack a lazy smile at your sleeping position. Your hair was all over the place, mimicking a snake attempting to strangle its prey. After taking off his coat, he crouched down to your level, removed your hair from your face before delivering a kiss to your nose once again.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

Stirring at his words you gently fluttered open your eyes, smiling at the sight of him. Even if it was late, you did not mind being woken up by Arthur. Especially in this way. “Hi.”

“You sold enough art in Rhodes t’day?” He asked while getting under the covers which you had slightly lifted up for him.

“Mhm.” You nodded. “Enough to get by for some time.”

Arthur mimicked your nod, putting his calloused covered hand underneath his head, placing his other on your waist to pull you closer to his broad torso.

His shoulders were a dream to sleep on. If you had been the slightest bit more tired, you would have already fallen back asleep.

“What was your most expensive sell?”

“Today?”

“Yea.”

You snuggled further into him, intoxicated by his scent as you smiled to yourself. “Fifty-three.”

“Jesus, woman.” Arthur chuckled, pulling you even closer to him. “Tomorrow ya gotta go back to O’Creagh’s, alright? Don’t wanna risk things if someone followed me.”

“M’kay.”

- 🍯

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #paint away #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x female reader #arthur morgan fluff

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yolowritter · 2 days

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In Defense of Chloe Bourgeois Part 1: Who is Chloe?

Well...shit, here we go again! Hello there everyone, welcome back to the source of my endless exasperation! Before any of you pick a side to the argument, I want to make it perfectly clear that this isn't a post about whether or not Chloe should have had a redemption arc. This is not my point, and any argument for either side have been repeated so many times by now that I can recite most by memory. So, let's begin by establishing why exactly I'm even writing this post!

Chloe Bourgeois is one of my favorite characters in Miraculous Ladybug. The...the fanon version, obviously. Canon can go keel over in an alleyway, it already has more holes in it than the average swiss cheese. I've been a part of this fandom for a good few years now, and at the time of watching Miracle Queen was understandably upset at the...direction, that her character was taken. It left a sour taste in my mouth because I honestly didn't see it coming, but I'll get more into that later. Point is, I was once a defender of Chloe's redemption arc. I am not stating if I am or not still one of those at present, because that's not what the point is. Regardless of what side of the fence you're on, we can all agree that her character was horribly mismanaged in the latter half of this show. Erratic, extreme and oftentimes illogical choices that sound stupider than Lila's average gaslighting scheme, and a character who previously had an arc going for her now being defined only by the sheer inconsistency that writhes every moment she's on-screen. I'll be honest, I no longer particularly care if Chloe "should" have been redeemed or not, because either avenue could have allowed for some brilliant (or at the very least pretty decent) storytelling.

This defense strives not to strip anyone of their arguments, nor to challenge anyone's headcanons, or make a point about what the "correct" way to handle Chloe's character should have been. Again, I lost interest in the debate a long time ago. I'm simply here to examine who Chloe is as a person, what drives her, what her life experiences have been like, and where all this could logically lead from both a writing and human perspective. I care about Chloe as a person, and about a character who if nothing else, at least acts consistently, in a way where the audience can watch them and understand why they're acting like this. I'll be trying to give context to some of her actions and fill in as many plot holes as I can, as well as giving a glimpse as to how a possible Redemption or Corruption Arc could have gone. So without any further ado, let's dive right in!

Firstly, let's start by laying out some common ground. After the Gabriel Agreste post, I think it's necessary to establish some clear lines as to what exactly we're talking about here. So before anything else, let's look at what we learn about Chloe in Season 1, yeah? Without going episode-by-episode, we generally don't get a good impression of her. Chloe is clearly spoiled by her father, used to always getting her way, and has no problem pressuring others into making that happen. She treats her classmates more like annoyances if not outright minions (Sabrina and on occasion Kim), has little consideration for other people's feelings, and likes appearing superior to everyone else. A pretty bad start, all things considered. She bosses Sabrina around, and we're explicitly told that Chloe often bribes her with her second-hand stuff, or whatever she wants to get rid of. Sabrina clearly doesn't know how to stand up for herself, and Chloe seems perfectly willing to take advantage of her doormat status. She also has the roots for a sweet sweet superiority complex firmly planted, considering how she rejects and humiliates Kim when he tries to confess his love to her. I'll be damned if I ever understand such bad taste, considering how Chloe is generally disliked by the rest of the class, but the point stands. She could have just told him no, even rudely if need be, and left it at that. Instead, she actively chose to humiliate the poor guy. Something similar happened with Nathaniel, whose feelings about Marinette she made public to everyone else for what seems to be entertainment value.

All in all, Season 1 Chloe has all the stereotypical makings of a popular girl from a 2010s American high school movie, including the narcissism, bullying, strong-arming school staff into not punishing these behaviors, inflated ego, and the complimentary minion! Except...Chloe isn't popular. With anyone, actually. Most of the class dislikes and barely puts up with her on a good day. They don't laugh along or jeer at whomever she's giving trouble to. Instead we have several instances where people actively try to either push the teachers into doing something or remove her from a situation where Chloe is causing problems. Think about the filming scenes in Horrificator for example. Chloe is acting like her usual self again, and refuses to allow Marinette to be the lead actress because she'll get to kiss Adrien. A tragedy, I know! Therefore, there's a whole plot to get her out of the room long enough for the scene to happen. People actively consider her at the very least a pain in the rear, and probably someone they just don't even want to talk to.

Obviously this isn't an excuse for anything she does. My point here is that from the perspective of the narrative, even while acting the part of a "Queen B", Chloe reaps none of the benefits, and in fact only serves to make people dislike her more with every episode that passes by. Even Adrien, who I'll circle back to in a second, her childhood friend who has a good opinion of her when he first comes to school, eventually stops trying to defend Chloe's behavior. There are, I think, a lot of reasons as to why she acts this way. Precisely none of them are an excuse or a "get out of jail" free card. Chloe still chooses to behave the way she does, regardless of the motivations.

About Adrien, we know that he and Chloe have known each other for a long while now. She was quite possibly his singular friend during his otherwise relatively isolating childhood, and she's very clearly attached to him. Chloe constantly clings to Adrien and drapes herself over him, and while he seems to find it annoying, there's still never a sense of disgust like with Lila in later Seasons. She's being suffocating, but there is never a connotation of romance here. Still, Chloe does everything she can to keep Adrien close to her, and (in Origins) "teach him how things are" in school. She's the one who got him signed up as a student in the first place, mind you, so she very clearly wants him to be around her. And while Chloe does brag about him being a famous model, she could just...do that without ever actually bringing Adrien out of the house? Clearly that's not the reason why she went through all the trouble to actually get him in the class, because bragging about it would probably go worse if she did it in front of him, or in an environment where Adrien could easily hear about and react to it. Chloe is very possessive of her "best friend" (and only friend, discounting Sabrina), and constantly belittles Marinette for trying to get close to him. Mind you, she doesn't find out about her feelings for Adrien until Season 3 I think. We never see Nino get bullied for befriending him, so what gives?

I'll talk about reasoning later down the line. For now, let's move onto Season 2. Amidst the beginnings of Ladybug handing out Miraculous jewels like candy to her best pals, seriously Season 4 overdid it, Chloe also exists. And during Despair Bear, Adrien finally puts his foot down about her behavior. He tells her that he can't be friends with someone who acts like a bully, and Chloe is genuinely hurt by this, to the point where she does her best to put on a good show and convince Adrien that is capable of not being an ass. Which is actually the case, believe it or not. She holds back the snides, does her best to make casual conversation with the people she considers to be inferior to her (I'll get to that, don't worry), and makes a real effort to keep at it for the sake of their friendship. The reason why she blows up here is made very obvious by the episode itself. Chloe is in unfamiliar territory and clearly reining herself in a lot, which Despair Bear pokes fun of in several back-to-back scenes. She doesn't want to do this, clearly has mutual dislike for the people she's forced to put up with every day and has made up her mind about a long time ago, for the sake of the one person she considers a genuine friend. And mind you, Chloe never uses Adrien for something. She brags about his job in Origins, and preens about their friendship often, but she never takes advantage of him like she does Sabrina. I will get to their toxic friendship in a minute, don't worry, but Chloe chooses not to try doing this with him. Adrien is...oblivious, to put it nicely, and she could easily try and play around that to serve her own goals, but she doesn't. Keep this in mind.

Anyway, she blows up because Armand (also c'mon, if you wanted to make the joke that Chloe doesn't know her butler's name, Jean "insert today's last name" was more than enough, Thomas) keeps lugging her teddy bear and playing pretend with her in a room full of people. I'm sorry, but that may be the most relatable Chloe moment in the whole show. Are you kidding me??? Of course she'd be embarrassed by this! I mean sure, her reaction to the situation is wrong, she shouldn't have screamed at him or threatened the man's job, but Chloe has serious anger management issues. That is obvious, because she acts like this every single day! Why would Armand do this??? She's already way out of her comfort zone by even hosting the party in the first place, surely there's easier ways of reminding Chloe not to be a bitch? Just tap her on the shoulder and say "miss, remember Adrien?" because that's the whole reason this is happening! The teddy bear is completely unecessary! Especially the voice acting! It made me laugh so hard when I first watched that episode but can you blame Chloe for being pissed? Again, she reacted poorly because her self control is comparable to Plagg's when there's camambert in his field of vision! So yeah, it's wrong to scream people's ears off like that, but she was also upset. And she's fourteen mind you!

Anyway, my actual point about Season 2 is that we get to see Chloe's character development. Thank Nooroo, finally a proper arc in this damn show! And we also get to see her family life. Side note, Andre Bourgeois is a spineless coward who I'll be bashing momentarily. But Chloe's mother is horrible! Audrey Bourgeois is blatantly neglectful, if not abusive to her daughter! She treats Chloe the same way Chloe treats everyone else! As disposable, expendable things that don't "deserve" her attention because they're not good enough. Like, if this doesn't give a six year old some hefty trauma along with an inferiority complex, what will??? And the situation becomes even worse as Chloe becomes incresingly desperate during Style Queen, trying again and again to please Audrey by copying her behavior (which she's been doing this whole time) even more intensly, and acting like the entitled, self-absorbed narcissist that her mother is! And this is where we see exactly why Chloe does what she does! Again, none of this excuses her actions, but it does help us understand the behavior. Audrey constantly puts Chloe down and belittles her the same way she does to Marinette...only to later pick the kid that Chloe is jealous of (I will explain this in a second!) to come with her to New York, where Audrey had presumably yeeted herself off to years ago and never bothered to come visit! We already know that she pressured her husband into giving up his love for film to stay with her, maybe even during her pregnancy or after Chloe's birth. Only to promptly vanish and leave him (a person who never grew a spine or managed to stand up to what is undoubtebly a toxic relationship) with her miniature copy. It's obvious that Chloe's barely ever seen Audrey, but she idolizes the woman because that's her mother! Heck, Adrien idolizes Emilie even if she was arguably not a great person (see here) and Chloe is always kicked to the curb for just doing the same!

Audrey is a horrible person and an even worse role model, but when you're five years old and she disappears from your life, is it any wonder that there's a steaming hot pile of mommy issues here? If Chloe has been told by Audrey from the moment she was old enough to understand words that she isn't "exceptional" enough to "deserve" her time, then isn't it obvious why Andre tries and fails to make up for this by always coddling his daughter and giving in to her every whim? He's trying to please her and give Chloe a sense of self-importance that Audrey made near-impossible to develop, and also makes up for his own absence by basically bribing his own child! Not that Andre is innocent in this! If anything, he's even more at fault than Audrey! Because while she flew off into the sunset to fire her twenty-seventh unpaid intern of the week, he was still in Paris with Chloe! Who grew up with him, mind you! And sure, he got elected into office and had a busy job as a single parent! You know what else he did? Crime! Almost everything he does in this damn show is completely illegal! Bribery, blackmail, undue termination of Roger's position as a police officer, who Andre doesn't even have juristiction over mind you (because Paris had the National Police until like 2021-ish if I recall correctly), he's just a corrupt, scummy politian whose ideas (see Megaleech) are harmful to the people he's supposed to be serving and outright motivated by greed! And also, we are explicitly told that he taught Chloe to do these same things! Andre Bourgeois is a total idiot who's probably been committing tax evasion for all we know, and Audrey is a self-absorbed diva who bullies her own child constantly, when she even bothers to go see her! Which is never, unless she needs to be in Paris for some other event related to her job!

Thomas, what the heck do you mean Chloe is evil? Lila is an accomplice to a domestic terrorist, and a psychopath against whom the only protection is the show's PG rating! If Lila could, she'd burn Marinette's house down for shits and giggles my good man! Audrey is everything I just mentioned, Andrey is a corrupt, spineless politician, Tomoe physically abuses her daughter with fucking katanas on the daily, Gabriel Agreste is that domestic terrorist who almost fired every nuclear warhear in the USA by the way! Because that was stupid of the NYC special to do! But he still did it! Plus the genocide in Shanghai! Accident or not, Hawkmoth is still responsible! And later on he also put his son in a room! A rubber room! Thankfully there weren't any rats, as if he needs another OSHA violation! Are you people insane when you say "I don't know why Chloe acts like this"? Have you lost your marbles??? Do you want me to have an aneurysm? Of course a child is going to act the way Chloe does if this is the shit she's been dealing with since Day 0 of her life! Does that make it okay? Absolutely not! But does it mean that she deserved what happened to her canonically? Also no! I'll talk about how the corruption arc could have worked at the end, because they tried and failed to do that, so let's circle back to the "jealous of Marinette" thing from a minute ago, kay?

Note: We're doing this in part 2 because this is closing in on 3k words already. The whole rant is done, no you don't want to know how long it is, I'm just splitting it because nobody will ever read 7.5k words worth of anything on Tumblr dot com.

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greatwesternway · 3 days

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Do war machines have a higher threshold for trauma than their civilian counterparts? Do engines in general have higher thresholds for trauma than humans?

It's less that engines have a higher threshold for trauma than that they don't consider bad things that happen to them to be traumatic. Most of the worst things that have happened to our machines are still accepted aspects of their lives. Every engine knows they'll end up in the scrapyard one day; war machines have every expectation of being destroyed in battle or having to destroy others.

It's also that they are, the vast majority of them, creations of times and places where the way you dealt with trauma is by getting over it and getting back to work. The idea of addressing trauma at all, let alone healing from it, is quite modern.

Beyond that, we very purposely do not put much emphasis on dialing up the drama on events in our engines lives that could be spun as traumatic because we're just not interested in it.

In 2020, my husband was killed in a car accident. I think that event could be construed outwardly as traumatic, yeah? I expected to feel that way about it when it happened. But I don't. It was horrible, it changed my entire world and expectations for my life. I had to deal with so many things immediately when all I wanted to do was lay on the couch and debate the merits of throwing myself off my balcony. Then when all the immediacy was dealt with, there was the years long wait for the legal matters to be settled.

My husband's death informs my life now, of course, but it's also not a looming shadow lurking behind every moment. I am moving on (literally). And I am not interested in writing about trauma. It feels melodramatic to me now.

Personal tragedy aside, I think Ray and I both are also just exhausted with the state of the world. I mean, is not being alive in this time kind of an ambient collective trauma? I am thirty-six years old and it seems every year since 1999 the world has been determined to one-up itself in shittiness.

The great appeal of this project to us is that these trains have this magnificent history, with both good and bad in them, that they can only look back upon now because their story didn't end when they thought it did. Not only that, but their history is still being built upon to this day. They remember the past, but they don't dwell in it. Their lives go on; they are good to each other and they are living well. Maybe the world at large is insurmountably dogshit, but that doesn't matter in our letters because our trains love their museums and they love their friends and they love each other.

It's hopeful. It reflects the way I am living now and it's what I wanna put out into world.

#the future is still silver and black

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andrewwtca · 9 months

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did I do something right? the world is being kinder to me.

no, it's not being kinder. I've finally started accepting its kindness. I breath in the air and hold on to the good; and I keep the bad in my heart, to keep me human. I keep everything inside of me as a reminder that I'm real, I'm alive, I'm here.

I'm here, and the wind rushes as I run. I'm alive, and I stifle laughter from outrageous messages. I'm real, and I reach out - and people reach back. they're real, they're alive, they're here, and they've been calling out for me, for us.

I did do something right. I started loving myself a little bit more. the world is not kinder; I am.

thank you for your loving.

#andrew's writing #poetry #this is isn't quite a poem but those makes the best poems #right?#I feel so blessed lately #I've fought to stay alive #and I finally feel like I'm living #it's horrifyingly human #it demands vulnerability and sacrifice #I have to repeat to myself every day “we carry on we carry on”#I have to carry on with a wounded heart without knowing where it goes (if it even goes to where it needs to)#but I'm not sending my love into a void #thank you to everyone sending kind messages or cheering me on or simply leaving a like #thank you for affirming that I'm real and that I am loved #you are loved too #we are all horribly human and horribly loved #thank you <3

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twoelectrichearts · 4 months

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Noah Schnapp is literally beyond evil. Like, spawn of satan level of evil. He only deserves to suffer for the rest of his existence. How dare he have empathy for innocent civilians in Israel and Palestine. First of all, there’s no such thing as innocent Israeli civilians. Second of all, you can't have empathy for both. Especially if he is a Zionist. All the Jewish people who identify as Zionists are evil. Israel has absolutely no right to exist and Jewish people have no right to exist in Israel. So many Jewish people who are Zionists claim that’s what Zionism means to them but they’re wrong. Zionism is pure evil. You can’t be Zionist and want peace and self determination for Palestinians. I’m not Jewish but I definitely know better than the Jewish Zionists who claim that. They’re all evil lying monsters. They want every Palestinian wiped off the face of the Earth. Hamas would never want such a thing. It’s not like they had a charter that said that about Jewish people. Even if they did, they supposedly recently changed it to Zionists instead so it’s all good now. Hamas is totally accepting of Jewish people now and would welcome them with open arms as long as they aren’t Zionist. Noah, if you’re a Zionist, don’t be anymore. You can change your evil ways. Hamas changed. Yeah, they may have killed civilians and taken hundreds hostage, they may have said October 7th was just the beginning and that it was going to happen over and over again, but they’re no longer antisemitic. They’re just anti Zionist so they’re good people now. You can change and be good too. You’re so young. There’s still hope for you. Stop lying and telling us how you want peace and self determination for Palestinians. We all know that’s not true. It can only be true if you aren’t Zionist.

You liking something like this makes absolutely no sense if you’re Zionist. I bet you don’t even agree with it and just liked it by accident or something. It’s crazy how I even managed to come across this months ago considering nobody talked about it or brought it to light. You liking that sketch of people in the LGBTQ+ community simping over Hamas got so much attention and caused so much outrage though. Funny how the internet works. Anyways, as a bisexual, I was so offended by that video. Hamas are well known LGBTQ+ allies. How could you like that video as someone who’s gay? It’s probably because you’re lying about being gay too. Shame on you.

Last thing I’m gonna say is fuck Israel and fuck Israelis. That country and all the people living there are evil. They’re all colonizers and occupiers. It needs to cease to exist and all the people currently living there need to go back to where they originally came from. All of them came from Europe, right? That’s what I’ve been hearing. They all need to return to Europe. Gosh, why’d they ever leave there in the first place? I know Jewish people say otherwise but they’re wrong. They’re either lying or in denial. They’re not indigenous to Israel. They’re indigenous to Europe. Us non Jewish people really need to educate them more about their own history, religion, ethnicity, etc. We need to teach them what antisemitism actually is. A lot of them don’t seem to understand what it is. We do that to every other minority group that we aren’t apart of, right?

#this post is sarcastic in case you can’t tell #bottled this up for so long and finally exploded lol #gotta learn to just not give a shit #noah schnapp #will byers #byler #I guess I’m also a terrible human being for having empathy for every innocent person affected #Netanyahu hamas and the idf suck #all terrorist groups and militaries suck #they shouldn’t even be a thing #one of the many reasons this world can’t be peaceful #I wish we all could live in peace but that’s never been reality and will never be reality because this world is terrible #if there actually was a god why would they allow all these horrible things to happen?#this is why I’m a former catholic turned atheist #stranger things #I can’t think of anyone more perfect to portray Will #actual gay actor playing gay character #love the representation #so many people who don’t personally know Will demonize him bully him and call him slurs #so many people who don’t personally know Noah demonize him bully him and call him slurs #thank goodness they both have family and friends who care about them and love them #antisemitism

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badolmen · 11 months

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hey you guys know that even if the people inside that submersible are rich billionaires, dying in that metal tube at the bottom of the ocean is a horrific way to die right. like. yeah stupid choices were made by the people in there signing off on a waiver that says the sub is not approved by anyone and they could die. but it’s the fault of OceanGate for knowingly putting people into a Home Depot DIY sub rigged up with an Xbox controller all to make a profit on people’s curiosity.

#ra speaks #personal #oceangate #missing sub #be normal on this post or I’m going to be disappointed in you and hope you grow as person #listen I’m not touching the ‘site of a horrific maritime disaster being used as a tourist locale’ with a ten foot pole #but like the people in that sub are currently going through something incredibly traumatic and will be lucky to survive #and I know we all love to laugh at dumb rich people suffering the consequences of their hubris #but jfc maybe I’m insane but like on a human level can you respect the horror of what is happening to real living ppl for a goddamn minute #there’s also a good chance these folk aren’t millionaires #they’re probably upper middle class folk splurging for the start of summer vacation #‘oh but I bet they’re still rich assholes-‘ THERES PEOPLE IN THERE. THEY MIGHT DIE. WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO GRASP AS A TERRIBLE THING???#me. low empathy: wow this is horrible. I quite literally can’t imagine how the people down there feel but I’m sure it’s incredibly traumatic #dumbasses making memes: haha dumb rich kid and his dad are gonna suffocate in a metal tube lol

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transmascutena · 2 months

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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

#akio and utena #m #long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human #he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims #he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios #(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her #i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing #not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did #but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway #idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims #the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive #but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her #but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had #reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly #wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.

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obey-me-headquarters · 1 year

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I understand what people mean when they say they wish the demons in Obey Me acted more "Demonic" or whatever, but honestly, for myself at least, I appreciate the narrative that the demons aren't that bad of people.

Diavolo wants to unite the three realms together because he believes that demons, angels, and humans aren't that different. If demons and humans are very different with demons being incapable of growth and only see humans as a meal or something to torture that it would go against the core message of the game.

I know a lot of people prefer Season 1 writing where the demon brothers were a lot more violet but I like that they changed. It shows that Diavolo's dream is becoming a reality. That by having a human around and falling in love with a human the demon brothers have became softer.

#i get why people like the edge s1 had #and that they wish that the bros were more violey #but like. i already played too many Otome games where the male love interests are violet jerks to the Mc #who dont understand consent and frequently abuse them #and while i doubt Obey Me would ever go that far im glad we never really got close #the writing has to be a little funky imo for Diavolo's dream to work #like i cant imagine that the exchange program would succeed if demons were all horrible violet people who ate and tortured humans #like i understand the appeal. but i dont think it would fit with the narrative Obey Me has built up

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monards · 2 months

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i know hoyo is setting up rhine to have good intent and whatever in her trying to 'save' khaneri'ah or whatever; but i REALLY hope they stay with the cruel persona thats been built up for her. because it would be so wonderful to see a character who had good intent in the beginning just get absolutely corrupted; with the inability to ever go back to that prior state purely because of what had happened. also because there is NO way in her turning back after all that shit

#sorry. i dont think theres any good and plausible explanation for rhine to still be a kind or gentle person in general #she can (and SHOULD) have her moments. but it'd make so much more sense (and be much more impactful) for her to be inherently cruel #because look at all the stuff thats happened #i love the indomitable human spirit trope. dont get me wrong.#but rhine has that in the way she WONT stop her research till shes either dead or murdered. she is not gonna be gentle kind and optimistic #she watched all her kids (that she was SHOWN to care for) get very brutally murdered.#had to then go and kill her next creations that she didn't consider perfect (which most certainly fucks a women up. no matter what you say)#made the 'perfect creation' and the way she treated him was obviously a HUGE contrast to how she was before (being gentle and nuturing)#and left him (albeit with what we can guess was good intent) with NO goodbye just #a recommendation letter. a text. and his final mission #she could have good intent #and still care for others #dont get me wrong!!!!!!!#but shes. human???#humans can be (as much as i hate to say it) a tad selfish when it comes to survival #and being antagonized demonized AND shunned by teyvat and even her own people. having to survive multiple gods wrath #isn't. gonna be good for the human psych #and it isn't gonna be something fixable #look at how furina progressively faltered over a hundered years WHILE being adored #she already started waning in her ethics and morals (as someone immortalized as a human WOULD)#with exposing lyney and all of that when it was VERY clearly the morally wrong thing to do (which her as a human would know)#and being relatively pessimistic and clearly spiralling #(no hate. i love furina with all my heart.)#if thats how FURINA started going #imagine rhine who has nobody (save maybe alice. but i doubt she'd be constant given her spontaneous nature and refusal to sit still)#shit man. even I'D go crazy and be horrible.#its okay and natural to be bitter #and its not as if anybody was there to help #hexenzirkel has a ton of women who survived their own nations falling yes #but not ONE of them (from what we know) has had circumstances any where near rhine's

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laniidae-passerine · 8 months

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I think some of you guys hate Izzy more than you ever liked Ed and no amount of “he’s my special babygirllll 💞 she’s just a sparkle princess you can’t hold her accountable for anything 🥰✨” posts are gonna be able to hide that

#like yeah nice try using the brown dude as a shield for your hate campaign or whatever but it isn’t working lol #I’m sure they kinda like Ed. but they sure don’t like Ed as much as they like hating on Izzy #who Ed loves btw. let’s just circle back there sometime they love each other. eat dirt maybe #I adore Ed and I love how nuanced and messy his breakdown was #how his actions aren’t motivated by being Evil but at the same time his actions are his own #and they’re undeniably fucked up to the nth degree and he has to own them #because it’s kinda relatable tbh!! I’ve never been that horrid but I’m a person and I’ve fucked up before #and even if I was struggling deeply at the time because of other’s behaviours towards me it was me who did those things #and I had to own them. and grow from it #and my queerness and brownness and trauma didn’t make me exempt from growing and being responsible #which also meant I’m not exempt from personhood and growing and bettering myself and loving myself and all the good that comes with humanity #Ed did fucked up horrible things to the crew and Izzy. and if you can’t acknowledge them for what they are and how awful they are #then you can’t really acknowledge Ed as a character and person beyond the limited ideal you made of him in your head. what he did was wrong #and that’s not alright. but it’s okay. because we know he’s gonna have to grow. that’s the bit people who really care are looking forward to #I’m tagging this #the izcourse #because I kinda feel like it’s overlapping with really shitty Ed takes and meta

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flowerflamestars · 1 year

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Timeloop au snippet

Lucien had always been quick, but in his own territory, rattled to the point of a constant knives edge since Feyre’s kidnapping, Tamlin was quicker. Snapping the door shut, wards of the house slamming down, containing them all in one place. “Lucien.” Nesta’s hand slid beneath his shirt, gesture hidden, aligned to the scarred skin of his back in silent apology. “Tam,” Lucien swallowed. “I can explain.” Flowers blooming in his eyes- a lord of becoming, a lord of mad folly, Lucien’s friend of centuries, torn apart trying to rescue the woman he loved from what he knew to be only one of the most feared creatures in Prythian. Slowly, Tamlin sank back against the door, furious expression muddling into a muted horror. Both palms pressed over his eyes, he said, in a gentle sort of voice Lucien had frankly forgotten he was even capable of. “You’re her sister. The one she wrote to.” “Yes.” Steel in the word, but also- Nesta slid out from behind him in exaggerated human slowness, coming back onto her feet to raise her chin in what read, to faery eyes, as warning. “And I wrote back. Lucien answered.” Unreadable, Tamlin dropped his hands to stare at her. “Did he?” “Tam”- “My sister loves you,” Nesta said, right over Lucien. “So much so we let her go again, because she could not bare a world where she had not tried to save you. I couldn’t reach out, not to you, not after all that happened to her. But I couldn’t stand not knowing if she was alright.” With his real guilt, Lucien fell into his role. “They deserved to know,” Lucien told him, quiet, unable to stop himself from smiling, just a little, at her unwavering expression. Tamlin caught it. Of course he did- Lucien was an excellent liar, but he wasn’t even trying. “And now,” he said, tipping his head between them, “You”- “Yes.” Nesta said. The High Lord of Spring heaved a sigh, scent of roses rising through the air. Tired, stricken- but then he smiled. “You cannot be blamed for that.”

#the timeloop is about an incredible number of things #including my feeding my brain every au possible #Tamlin finding human Nesta in Lucien's bed?#immediately swinging from what the fuck to horror to #WE HAVE TO HIDE THIS LADY #classic Tam as canon erased my babes #Also Tamlin: Lucien is...in love...with this random hot human? Yeah sounds about right. Archeron's are intensely lovable. yep yep yep #ALSO TAMLIN: okay okay okay I will get rid of Hybern you hide and then we have to fine the other sister and then..dinner? humans need food.#Do you like to paint? Are you warm enough? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S A DEAD ILLYRIAN IN YOUR HOUSE?#Nesta:#Lucien (kind of dying inside): ... half a dead Illyrian? actually? if we're being specific my lord #listen is Tamlin a MESS?#yes #does he fuck up horribly with Feyre? yes #he's garbage #but he's REALISTICALLY FUCKED UP and constantly trying his best in a world that keeps violently destroying his chances #the mans guilt complex has to be epic #Nesta has already committed one murder this loop and she's never gotten to meet Ianthe before #something something tiny lil Nesta being the violent one in ALL versions #in my notes loop 30 is called RAMPAGE LOOP #No grave can hold my body down #a finale that goes out with a bang in every sense

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vole-mon-amour · 18 days

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'kids are cute' 'we were all kids once' 'you have to respect kids' 'we need more kids in public places' 'hating kids isn't ok' 'people letting their kids acting up in public places is totally okay & we need more of that' 'there's something really wrong with you if you can't stand kids'

i don't have to respect them, i don't have to like them, i don't want to interact with them and their parents' nonsense, ever.

FUCK! THEM! KIDS!

gtfo.

#childfree #get human children away from me #especially the ones whose parents are doing a horrible job #also #if someone has been an addict #doesn't mean they have to love that period of their life when they got clean #or some dumb choices that they made #yeah we were all idiots once #is that what you're saying?

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mothmouth · 2 years

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Splatoon 3 hero mode spoilers past this point!

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Am I the only one who feels really fucked up by like, log four's lore? It's really horrifying how it's described. Like, imagine being the scientists, so desperate to see the sky, that your ambitions end up snuffing out humanity for good. But that's not all! The log goes absolutely out of the way to let us know that anyone who survived the initial disaster died soon after.

Imagine being a child during all this. Perhaps your name is Rhea, and you don't exactly know what the sky is like, but you're excited for the big day of the rocket launch because your parents are. But then everything goes wrong. There's so much screaming and fear, then silence. You emerge from the rubble not knowing what happened or where your family is. And now you can't do anything but wander the ruins of humanity, scared, alone, and soon to be very hungry.

Or maybe you're Marcus - somehow, you got out unscathed say for some scratches when your apartment collapsed. But, you've got a problem; you're trapped. The walls caved in in such a way that you have plenty of air, but no hope of escape. You can only scream for help, struggle, pace and eventual lay down in what you realize is your tomb.

Hell, maybe you're even one of the luckier ones. You're Salem, and you don't really care that much about the launch. You were having a wonderful afternoon nap when you were awoken by a horrible noise - and following soon after it, a cacophony of screaming and crashing. You scramble to your window to be met with the sight of the sky falling in on itself into darkness. As your freeze response hits, you have just enough time to comprehend what's happening and despair over the loss of humanity before your house is hit and you die instantly.

There are theoretically infinite scenarios to describe the last humans of splatoon's earth and their experiences. Those pinned under rubble, realizing everyone they know is dead, or those injured horribly but still struggling to live. Something about the way that they specifically described the disaster really makes it real to me. It's upsetting in a very compelling way. Like - all that was left of humanity died! And given the time span of the event, there were almost certainly children and elders and others who were even more helpless than everyone else. That's fucked up.

#splatoon spoilers #hero mode spoilers #splatoon 3 spoilers #splatoon #splatoon 3 #tag your own alternan who died horrible in the notes #there's so much writing potential its horrible i love it #PLUS LIKE OK #log five makes me emotional in an entirely different way #how sentimental yet sad that sealife eventually fulfilled humanity's wish and carries it with them to this day #AND MR GRIZZ TOO!! he is so fucked up and sad #he wanted things to go back to what he understood #i think we all know that impulse #before the pandemic and global warming ramping up and political extremeism #i wish things could be simpler but i also understand its not like the before times were perfect either #and its ultimately a futile desire #in the end his search for the past made him no longer a mammal himself #and i just noticed that since the ooze acts on peoples thoughts its only natural it turns into furry ooze in his hands #he wanted mammals so it replicated human life #but just like the sky it's only a facsimile #it's just goopy crystal. it's not the same #this game feels so poingant to what a lot of us have been feeling i think

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