#see the thing is i know to ppl who dont know me very well i come across as insanely obnoxious

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out #i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity #but me i like to chill out. #and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed #at the thought that others might want to see me working #if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do #catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries #for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day? #or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk #not in the slightest #but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior #that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation #this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age #and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative

[puppyeared]

i like him

#somebody needs to keep me 8 metres away at all times or else ill start chewing on him #i just want everyone to know if i end up making a character who happens to resemble harvey in any shape or form #it probably wasnt a coincidence 😐and it will happen again #if i remember maybe ill try getting stardew when it goes on sale.. my friend showed me her farm and she named her chicken after doja cat #or maybe it was nikki minaj i cant remember. and she also said smth about monsters and passing out if you stay out after a certain hour #idk how accurate tht is all i know is the funny fucked up grandpas bed #i read somewhere that harveys supposed to be in his early to mid thirties and i dont have a problem with it but i think itd be very funny #if hes actually younger than he looks hes just a med school postgrad lmao. idk how well that headcanon would hold up since ive #never played the game and idk how often ppl talk about his age or if itsjust an implied thing. i just think its really really funny #im trying to get into the habit of drawing poses so im using reference images to try and build up muscle memory #i found some cute pictures of two ppl playing by the sea shore and it reminded me of xin and sailor so im gonna draw em like that #i havent drawn em in so long..... maybe i should update xins reference since i changed their lore quite a bit #myart #my art #doodles #stardew valley #stardew #sdv #sdv harvey #kinda wanna see him whimper a little bit. as a treat

[infizero]

listen i was guilty of this once upon a time too but dawg ppl GOTTA stop calling any platonic dynamic they like “siblings” without any precedence 

#there are many characters where there is good right to call them siblings. but ppl have gotten so trigger happy w it #and like theres nothing wrong with viewing a dynamic that way ig but at the same time it makes ppl who may ship those characters really #uncomfortable. bcuz although there is nothing to suggest that those characters view each other in that way by calling them siblings #instantly you've made it weird for anyone who might interpret the dynamic differently #idk this is very nuanced but it just irked me a little bit #absolutely nothing against the person in the tags of my art btw power to you #but. as someone who ships pearl and scar a little it was a bit uncomfortable to see them be called siblings #i dont like ppl making ANY of the hermits siblings. like grian and pearl are a common one i see and i just. i dont get it i truly dont #none of their dynamics read like that to me. idk. again ppl have their own interpretations of things and they didnt mean any harm by it #it just made me feel a little weird #and this is a problem or well. trend ive seen in all fandoms recently #please. people are allowed to be friends and have close friendships and not have a familial element involved #esp with a girl and a boy THEY CAN JUST BE FRIENDS! YOU CAN HAVE THEM BE TOTALLY PLATONIC WITHOUT CALLING THEM SIBLINGS #whatever whatever idrc. just something ive noticed i know other ppl have talked about this before #again this is not a callout or anything im genuinely not mad or weirded out or anything please dont think i am #serena.txt

[soldier-poet-king]

Normal people keep an ongoing list of Despair Characters on their phone. They gotta have some combo of depression, terrible circumstances, isolation, grief, and a commitment to Duty or a sense of Fundamental Decency that makes them drag themselves through the Horrors even though they're Unending. Often they die or are sole survivors left to live with the grief.

Crucially, they CANNOT have a happy ending. Bittersweet and melancholy and full of grief, with maybe some slight hope? Sure. But happy? Illegal. There will be no rewards for Goodness, it must be Obeyed and Pursued anyway

#the duality of fran #<-i promise i am a normal guy with normal feelings and motivations and not at all neurotic depressed #vimes starts out like this but gets to heal. as does caleb. so they dont count #orym is still up in the air #thara isnt finished yet but even if he gets with iana #i dont see k addision wrapping it uo neatly with a bow #that would cheapen the story shes put so much effort into crafting (i admit i am a little afraid. the list started with thara) #i dont actually know how Andrej ends yet either. but for now. he gets a spot #oural of glome would count except for the very ending of the book when she is transfigured. NOT ALLOWED #gabriel syme also is almost this #anyway. you picking up what im putting down??? ykwim???? #always taking suggestions for the kind of guy who keeps me alive and functional #if also. miserable. #smthn about the most miserable ppl on earth still trying to be good. its. the most important thing to me specifically #fran its not that deep you are simply self loathing and depressed. #well. its. its my whole life. thats what i am. it IS that deep. its my soul. the only thing i am. #once i actually finish the brothers k its over for yall #i keep startint and then having to stop. bc. im insane #also knowing cr orym will probs get a happy ending with dorian. #but for NOW. in my sad kindhearted windower heart. he fits

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill #well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst #like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc. #so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made #bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you #but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings #and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste #there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc #so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously) #but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything #if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is #which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose #anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate. #and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic! #if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it. #like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages #or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing #i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know #it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess #as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence #the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education #i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is- #writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl- #will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype #sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen #there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions #like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of- #'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity #like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem #but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

SENDING MY FIRST ASK FROM THE NEW BLOG!!!! i feel like i am sending a letter from a new address... crazy. ANYWAY HOW R U TONIGHT!!!! i hope ur havin a good day!!!! kicking my feet like a teenager at a sleepover rn tell me abt ur day who r the blorbos in ur mind rn what kinda art r u workin on lately how's it going friend!!!

HIIIIIII HI HI . HELLO SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG- i mean catboy cellbit!!! . dude i am. dreading the coming week tbh but it is fine !! we will get thru it we will survive!!! i am so sleepytired but alas i also cannot sleep so i may just have another night of reading and music ahead of me . wah. i hope u are hsving a good night <3 IVE BEEN COMPLETELY ART NERFED TOO BTW. my laptop died on me a couple days ago and while i was able to find a new one affordably it will not be here until the 13th 😔 so no digital art from me for a while. sigh. i DID just decorate my new sketchbook with stickers tho so im hoping that will get my brain in gear for traditional art again. AS FOR BLORBOS. oh . u know. the usuals. vash the stampede. zacharie from off . masky marblehornets (also tim marblehornets) . to name three of them.

#who are ur blorbos rn. i dont watch qsmp i think sering ur posts abt it are really funny bc im like. guy walks into the room on fire gif. #i have no idea whats going on in here congratulations and/or my condolences <3 #thank u thank u i love the sleepover vibes. literally had gossip talk w one of my other friends earlier #(name withheld for reasons but if u see this u know who u are and i love u ) #so the vibes are so correct #i have 2 work tomorrow :( not looking forward 2 that. #however it IS my last day of my long term overnight job which means i will be able to sleep in my own bed tomoerow night. #this is something i have not done for like. close to a month now. whcih is why ive been sleeping so awfully! so hopefully that fixes me #also have. job interview on wednesday for another aquarium place.. #fingers crossed this goes better than my last one but also part of me is kind of hoping it doesnt go well #bc i hate transitional periods and i dont want 2 go thru the moving process again #and i dont want 2 meet a bunch of new ppl all at once again. and do the while job training thing. #alas that is the anxiety talkimg and i do actually want the job bc it would be good for me <3 #sorry it is late and im soooo fucking sleepy so im rambling !!!! do not feel like u have to respond to . gestures vaguely at all that #its blorbo talk time. i desperately want 2 warch more mh right now #however the house im.staying in IS in the middle of the woods and very isolated and i have been so scared and paranoid #so i am OUTTA LUCK sigh. i will simply watch smth silly instead like gg tmph or david attenborough or perhaps spongebob will b on the tv. #asks #friends!!! #false-anachronism #<< oh fuck new url!!! i got like halfway thru typing ur old one before i was like WAIT SHIT.

[computerpeople]

i think with the discussion of autism people forget that a lack of social skills also makes you look like a fucking loser sometimes and its still ableist and embarrassing to be made fun of for it. and that its still intrinsically tied to your symptoms. and also it presents as annoying as shit. and also is still a symptom. you know what i mean?

#txt #going to a special ed school was very inreresting because it was like #it made me realize how different 'social ineptitude' can look in different people #and the thing is they cant help it either and i cant help it and sometimes whern you mock that person whos a total loser you ARE mocking #them because of autistic traits that they have. and no matter how many times someone goes 'but its the autism. youre mocking autism' #it like doesnt click bc its still 'loser behavior' to the person. you know? you know? #ive been thinking about it since i saw the autistic sex post. 'what does being autistic have to do with not having sex' well you see the #thing is a lot of allistic people think autistic people are annoying losers who are selfish and bothersome #and a lot of autistic people see their OWN community as the same thing. because a lot of types of autism dont mesh together #so... you know. sometimes the social disability is socially disabling #and ppl think ur lame bc of it

[heartyearning]

the way i live my life is LIDORALLY just like doing whatever’s gonna make my friends have a laff. have a good chuckle. no matter how stupid the thing is or how silly it’s gonna make me look to other ppl if it makes them do a little snort come hell or high water i will do that thing

#like for instance going to the tea party themed christmas party dressed as the teapot #see the thing is i know to ppl who dont know me very well i come across as insanely obnoxious #esp bc im one of the only dudes in my dept so ive run into ppl being super judgey about that #(not in a 'not all men' way that im saying this btw its just like. we got some ppl who are leaning a liiiiiittle too close to terfism for #my liking. they havent Quite crossed the border and they also dont know im trans but if i was transfem instead of (passing) transmasc... #who knows. not me) #so anyway yeah i come across as obnoxious or as though i take up too much space and i do recognise this but like #my friends like it. and fucking hell i didnt wanna do a theme w the WHOLE dept like the 3rd yrs are nasty anyway and dont like anyone #if it had been just us i also fully would have pushed for the divorce theme bc we did wedding last yr #and everyone had a good laff at that suggestion but like 2 ppl were soooooo against it which like #if it were for a good reason ofc fine but they didnt wanna do it bc they wanted to do . tim burton characters. #girl. no! #like also we're in fucking costume design you cant think of smth for urself ??? also just no ? #anyway. divorcebabesdivorce isnt happening even tho feiran specifically asked where the theme went on the poll #(shes like a friend of mine but not like A FRIEND of mine shes moreso just a classmate & i like my classmates) #so just to be like. see even ppl who arent naturally indulgent of me liked that idea. #anyway. teapot time is fun too

[sanstropfremir]

which male idol in your opinion has the best style? if we exclude stylists’s outfits and group appearances. Also who do you think dresses up? Like maybe wearing clothes that are not them just bc it’s the trend. would love to read your opinion on that xx

oh dawn, 100%. he has some of the best understanding of fashion and specfically how to use silhouette and statement pieces. key obviously, also. all the guys in a.c.e are pretty well dressed but particularly sehyoon and donghun (whom i think dress the others actually lol)! both of them play around a lot with silhouette also, and sehyoon in particular loves accessories and will pull some insane combos that i am obsessed with:

(that's his mom's watch in the second one btw)

suho also has really great taste, his instagram now that he's come back is just a parade of nice clothes. tbh it can be kind of hard to tell when idols are dressing themselves and when it's a stylist, especially just from pictures, if you don't know what event it is/have the context of what they were doing at the time. and added onto that, a lot of the items in idols wardrobes are gifts, either from sponsorships or fans etc, so in terms of 'people that wear clothes that they wouldn't normally', well that's just most idols lmao. you do also run into the phenomenon of guys with good pieces in their wardrobes but don't seem to be all that versed in fashion (minho, junhee), and this comes down to a grey area where a lot of guys just do not know how to dress. that doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't interested in dressing well, it just means that it's not something that they have much experience in and they don't know how to go about asking. so often they end up with those good pieces bc a stylist puts it on them/gives them advice and they either take it home or find something similar to it, which puts them in a kind of a limbo spot in this particular ranking system; they would not have known about or gone out and bought that item if the stylist had not shown it to them, but it also doesn't mean that they're 'dressing up' bc it's something that they do like. you can see minho talk about this in his devil wears jungnam episode actually!

#oh i probably shouldnt forget gd. his personal style is actually very good #i was debating whether or not to put hongjoong on here #bc he IS very well dressed and i know he often has a hand in his own stylings and is interested in fashion #but often when we see him 'off duty' he's wearing comfortable/lounge clothes #and you kind of run into a weird defining line here of: yes ppl are 'dressing up' for camera appearances #but there's specific instances in which people who do put a lot of time into fashion will wear specific things #and i know this from experience. i wear different things when i go out and know that im going to be seen than i do when im at home alone #is there some overlap between those two spheres? yes. but both are still true to me yanno? #kpop questions #kpop styling #text #answers #OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE I ALMOST FORGOT BAMBAM #junhee has a fucking killer pair of pants that he wears sometimes that i do NOT know where he got them from but they are so fucking good #and he wears them sometimes but he self admits to not knowing anything about fashion #tbh this is not exclusive to men it affects ppl of all genders #also i dont really think much about people 'dressing up' as 'not themselves' bc sometimes its fun to wear clothes you wouldnt normally #the only thing that i dont particularly like that is a part of 'dressing up' is obviously branded luxury items #but ive already talked about that before lol #and it looks doubly out of place in casual wear like come on you did not need to buy a prada bucket hat

[orcelito]

thought about the fact tht getting mental health help means talking about my #Problems again

ugh

#speculation nation #negative/ #like i dont have trouble talking about this stuff in an informal setting bc im like. not self conscious about it exactly #assuming i'm talking to ppl who r understanding #but even then i curate it. i always curate it. i never tell anyone just how ugly my thoughts can get #though if youve read my writing you probably have a Pretty good idea (akechi pov) the kinds of ways i think about things #i dont share that for common life stuff bc it's just. it always makes people uncomfortable. and i dont want them to worry about me #when people worry about me it makes Me uncomfortable. like there's something wrong with me. #like the very makeup of my brain is worthy of making people worried #bc that's the thing. this is intrinsic. it's never going to stop completely. there are parts to it that i dont even Want to stop #but people will always be worried. sooo scared for me and the sanctity of my shitty flesh prison #therapy shit is that but worse. because they Will pry about it #every time i see that lil questionnaire with 'have you had thoughts about suicide' and 'have you harmed yourself' im just like #might as well lock me up Boys cause this one's goin on my record! again. and again and again and again #im not even going for this shit. i dont have depression im depressed cause my life sucks & im stressed all the time #but they always see the bad and assume it's because of the Chemical Imbalances bc no Whole Person would EVER want to hurt themselves! #i can be perfectly happy and content with my life and still have these urges. it's not a depression thing. it's just a me thing. #i want help for my constant fatigue. my probable adhd that's been kicking my ass my entire academic career #im not fucking anxious. i'm not fucking depressed. i'm stressed and struggling to do fucking Anything because everything is always Too Much #but i just know they'll focus on those lil markers by the self harm/suicide shit because they Always Fucking Do #i'm not a suicide risk. ive long passed that stage. thoughts may float by sometimes but i'm never going to act on them #not unless things in my life go very Very wrong. aka there's no longer anyone who cares about me level of wrong. #so long as there's at least one person who cares about me then I'm going to keep on living. i'm not a suicide risk. #... anyways i looked into the mental health shit at my school again and im gonna have to call to set up an appointment i guess. ugh. #aka that's not happening tonight. not with the way i'm feeling rn. #suicide ment/ #self harm ment/ #lolololol sorry for being so blatant on main today but i'm having a Shit day

[yongseungkim]

.

#its been great like not being as interested in social media #but unfortunately for me that means a lot of the anxieties that came with social media have like #infiltrated real life in very real ways and its scary and i dont like it #i dont like thinking like this #these ppl are too precious to me #i try not to act on it but man are the thoughts the exact same no matter what social thing im a part of #like ive never felt truly included in online spaces or just feeling unpopular or like whatever #kinda the odd one out #and even irl it feels that way #the thing is i have good people and good friends in my life #like i know theyre not the problem #its just me and my thoughts that havent literally changed forever and like now its annoying #bc i care about these people and maybe selfishly wanna keep them in my life (?) #although based on my interactions and conversations w them it feels the same for them too yaknow like reciprocated #but i feel like these days my thoughts have really just been making me not the most fun person to be around sometimes #im not acting on them fully but like maybe slightly (?) #the closer i personally feel to people the more hurt i unintentionally get #i have such unrealistic expectations sometimes it feels #and i feel like my few attempts at trying to get closer with certain ppl one on one hasnt always went down well and like #this has to be a two way thing so i cant really blame em but it also hurts idk :( #i just feel like im always doing something wrong bc ppl never seem to like me as much as i like them ? #idk i think its the superficial things too at the end of the day that bother me more than they should #i feel like i wouldnt be missed like i have to always do the reaching out whos reaching out to me :( #there are ppl that do though and im so thankful to them but things like idk #feel like ic ould shut my phone off for a week and not see anyone and just hear from no one #which is fine i guess but it makes me feel very invisible #its been strange i have feelings im trying to reconcile but not sure how to #socializing is so hard so so so hard ive just been almost confused to a frozen amount #and its been harder these days cuz the rose tinted glasses are off like my friends do re energize me yes but i feel a lot of anxiety too #rambles

[arolesbianism]

Y'know now that I'm seeing a small handful of ppl actually giving a shit abt oni lore it's making it so much harder to not become a nerd emoji every five seconds anytime I see someone talk abt oni because I forget that every source of oni information is comically outdated

#rat rambles #oni posting #I have had my fair bit of mistenteripitations as well I have to fight myself every day to not go and delete a bunch of old posts #I wont delete them because they are a catalog of me getting into oni and thats rly important to me but also aghhhhhh #I was wrong abt so much shit that wasnt even because of misenterpretation just me being bad at reading lol #Im still learning new things every time I revisit the logs because I am that prone to misreading and glazing over things #which is why I Really need to finish up and post all the logs so that other ppl can double check with me lol #well in theory theres still not That many ppl interested in lore and Im not even sure if said ppl would see my catalog #but I still want ppl to have an actually complete source for this stuff so Ill probably start cleaning it up more tomorrow #I also will have to go double check that I didnt miss anything because it's very likely I did #it wont be too hard to clean up just annoying since its copy and pasted from the code #again its just abt cleaning it up so that its a bit more readable #I will keep in the name of each log in the files because I think thats information that ppl should be able to access #yknow in case you wanna read it in game without having to hunt it down #for context you can manually unlock a log in one of the oni folders where log unlocks are stored #you can just open it on a note app or smth and add the logs you wanna unlock and it should add them #I haven't done it myself but Ive done similar stuff and its not hard as long as you know the file names #not saying ppl Should cheat in the logs just that I want those who want to to have the option #now my biggest problem is that I dont actually know which logs are spaced out logs #idk maybe theres a way to tell in the files but chances are Ill just have to leave it unspecified for now #I also might end up digging up any set piece item descriptions since while the vast majotity of them are very much not lore relevant #I know at least 2 (3 To Me) are and if I include those and not others thatd just feel weird #its a similar thing I had with the artifacts where the line between lore relevant and not gets blurred the more I include #so yeah Ill start with just logs and artifacts and Maybe do setpiece building descriptions if I feel up to it #but if any of you find the jackie's office setpiece in your saves then know that you have access to both my favorite setpiece and one of my #favorite lines of text in the game Period #its maybe not that big of a deal but it is 2 Me Ok #and to be clear its not jackies desk although I do love that one too girlie is not over her divorce #anyways time to shower and think abt sploon toon some more since well yknow

[another-runaway]

Not my ex logging onto tumblr dot com to tell the most contrived, contextless version of the worst fights of our relationship to make herself appear like the delicate victim of my anger lmaooo

#look im not gonna spend too much time and energy on this #coz i dont like ppl who spend so much time badmouthing their ex after a relationship #like it may be that your ex acted like shit but also you stayed in that relationship so yknow some of that is on you too #(i also make a difference between processing pain which is fine obviously #and badmouthing which to me means like #putting the whole blame of the relationship going badly and any bad things you felt on the other person... anyways) #anyways #and thats the attitude i hold myself too like yeah there are a lot of things that i dislike that happened in our relationship but like #its on me that i let it happen again and again #and hopefully in the future i'll have learned from it to have better relationships #all that being said... #boy i love (sarcastic) the way she tells those stories because i sure as hell have a very.... very.... very different version to tell LMAO #but oh well you know what #the good thing about breaking up is #nobody needs to agree anymore on what happened we can just walk away with our own version #and also tbf its her own tumblr blog like if she wants to process our breakup that way all the power to her... #its just... really fucking funny to me the way she tells what happens... but oh well. at least i dont have to deal with this stuff anymore #i finallt blocked her after months of hesitating so she shouldnt be able to see this #and i can finally go back to using my tumblr blog as ... my tumblr blog

[officialspec]

can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

#ask #headcanons #passes out. my Mind #dunmesh

[enamouredfae]

little astro observations i've made based on my little chart collection and experience 🎀

honestly i've observed this only in myself but you have a natural pull to people who's sun is the same sign as your 5th house, mine is in pisces and my bf, my best friend and my cat are all pisces, not to mention that 90% of my crushes have been pisces as well.

there is something about pisces and bunnies, they will either love bunnies (have tattoos of them, make art about them, be their favourite animal), own or have owned a bunny or they look like one, (my bf is all of the above).

in synastry a north node over a person's mars may indicate the north node person taking the mars person's virginity.

in synastry a person's moon in your 9th house may indicate they understand/feel/empathize with emotions in a different way from you due to where they come from and how they were culturally socialized, i have this with my bf and he comes from a north american individualist country where your emotions are your responsibility and other's are theirs and i come from a post communist country where you are responsible for everyone's emotions, and ppl live for other people.

in vedic astrology i am a hasta moon, claire nakti made a video on hasta nakshatra and describes hasta natives as "fairy pretty" and i have a pair of dragonfly fairy wings tattooed on my back, plus ive been told (before my tattoo) that i give off fairy vibes.

saturn ruled 3rd house makes you have to spend a lot of time in public transportation, for example you might live far from where you need to go, for me it used to take me 1 hour at least to get to some places, sometimes i'd have to wait an hour just to then spend on hour on the bus. just overall imposes patience for transportation

a lot of astro observation posts say that an aquarius 4th house makes you feel like u dont belong in your family or that you're the black sheep of the family, but i dont find that accurate at all, i feel like it makes the native the one to challenge family values, they may be the one to make their family change for humanitarian reasons

idk if this is a real technique already used by astrologers but i have a wholesign MC theory. in wholesign the midheaven can fall in the 9th/10th or 11th house. my theory is that wherever it falls is the way you get ahead in life, the way through which u become publicly known or get your career. If it falls in the 9th your career is owed to ur studies/travel, 10th your hard work/experience/reputation, 11th your connections/social media/friends.

i think i have the most literal astrological placements being passed down from your parents example. obviously placements dont always get passed down, my sister has none of their placements, but perhaps being the first child may have contributed to this since the first child is when parents still have their personality not yet influenced by parenthood. so my moon and my sun, which we know symbolize the parents amongst other things, are at the same degree and they sextile eachother exactly, which I think is an indicator that my parents are very harmonious together; they are still together and in love even now. furthermore, my moon and sun are the same signs of my parents' stelliums, i have a libra moon and my mom has a libra stellium, and my sun is in leo and my dad has a leo stellium.

sibling's ceres in your first is feeling like a parent to them, i constantly tell my sister she's my daughter, we even have an inside joke that i gave birth to her at 5, and my ceres is in her fourth, the house of motherhood so she definitely sees me as a parental figure.

me and my bf have eachother's jupiter in our 7th houses, besides being in a serious committed relationship, we want to start a business together. so i feel this is a great indicator for great partnership in both regards.

i feel like this is also a technique but i haven't really heard much about it, generational planets affect us through societal conditions/problems whereas personal planets affect us through personal problems. for example: let's go with two malefics, i have pluto in the first house which i feel would be very different from having let's say mars in the first house. the first house is amongst many things our appearance which i am insecure about. i have never in my life been told i am ugly, i am actually constantly told i am beautiful, and yet it does not click. it isn't through personal experiences that i have problems with my appearance but through consumption of society ideals. this is of course an oversimplification but you get what i mean.

chiron retrograde in natal changes our perception on trauma. me and my bf have the same chiron, his is retrograde while mine is not. he constantly says he is not traumatized, whereas i can tell i am. he 100% has traumas, the thing is that it's like he's left them behind? he just says it happened a long time ago so it's done. my observation is that retrogrades in your natal may make u leave things in the past or have a "it happened a long time ago it doesn't matter" attitude towards trauma. the thing is he acts like a non-traumatized person which is crazy to me.

i have a skin condition called dermatographia, also overall very dry itchy acne prone skin, i also have scars. here are a few placements that i have that i feel may be an indicator for skin conditions: mars ruled first house (traditional rulership) mars is inflamation and scarring, saturn in seventh saturn is dry and some people consider that libra(7th house) rules the skin, saturn opposite ascendant, saturn square venus i see venus as clear skin due to its aesthetical perfection.

saturn in 1st, especially conjunct ascendant indicates identity issues. borrowing elements of identity from people you admire, not feeling like you identify with the gender assigned at birth, not identifying with your birth name, etc.

having a libra 12th house can indicate traumatic female friendship. the 12th house is the house of hidden enemies, so you perceive these people as your friends, sometimes even best friends, so when they betray you it is very jarring and traumatic. having female friends that are jealous of you, female friends that pretend to like you, female friends that talk shit about you and even sometimes lie about u, friends that purposefully hide information from you, that want what you have, sometimes sabotaging what you have or trying to make u lose the thing they want, etc. this is a very difficult placement, because you love these people so much that you would've given up things, changed things or shared things with them if only they were honest with you. in the best of cases the friendship is real and full of love but you grow apart, and this is also painful because you can't control it.

venus square ascendant is people telling you they love you and you not believing them. just overall hardships around love and seeing yourself as loveable. double points when it also squares saturn making u think that if u are loved it's hard work or that people had to convince themselves to, that you're hard to love.

people with venus conjunct mars in first are stunning and have an androgynous vibe to them. sometimes this is visual, strong muscular body with graceful posture, but it can reflect in their personality, just strength imbued with vulnerability, people that surprise you, that are balanced.

taurus 6th house can indicate finding romantic partners in the workplace.

having a stellium in the 4th and no planets in the 10th, can indicate a strong connection to your mom and a disconnect from your dad, especially when the sun is in the opposite sign of your tenth house(in your 4th) feeling like your dad is not the way he should be.

🎀

please let me know what you think, im very curious how they hold up in other people's charts, critiques are welcome and invited.

#astrology observations #astrology #enamoured fae #astro tumblr #astro #astro notes #astro community #horoscope #birth chart

[sabh0]

"If you want me to talk solely about the manga vs anime skk"

I do, actually.

Please.

Pretty please with a cherry on top.

PART 1.

Aight!! I will be just pointing out some differences/stuff that was deleted from the anime.

Under the cut

THE DUNGEON SCENE:

-When they first meet again in the manga, they throw some silly jokes at each other (like Dazai asking Chuuya if he's hiding a bald spot. And Chuuya just taking his hat off to show him he's, in fact, not balding)

-In the manga when Chuuya calls Dazai the youngest mafia executive, in his mind Dazai is wearing his ADA clothes but keeps the black coat and the bandaged eye. I think it's a very silly detail

-In the anime, in anger Chuuya actually cuts Dazai's cheek with his knife. In the manga, the moment he starts getting angry he jumps away from Dazai and then throws the knife to the floor, not touching him at all

-Manga Chuuya falls to his knees (basically standing on all 4s), having a lil crisis after realizing Dazai only stayed in the dunegon to meet him. He gets up in a while, just to yet again squat on the floor after Dazai yapps more

-Obviously the pigeon-stand scene: in the manga Dazai is laughing to tears at this, while in the anime he stays silent. (Tho i must say i find it funny that Chuuya gets angry over Dazai not laughing,, like he tried so hard and this guy just :| him)

LOVECRAFT FIGHT:

-This is not about skk but lord yall know that panel where Chuuya ie standing on all these Guild ppl being all like im gonna beat ur ass next. He's just standing normally on the floor in the anime. Aughhhhh this panel is so good aughhhh. Ok anyway back to skk

-When Dazai nullifies John's ability, in the anime Chuuya just kicks Steinbeck from behind. In the manga, skk perform that silly move where Chuuya jumps from behind Dazai. It just shows how even after 4 years of not working with each other, they instantly work together as well as before

-Skk arguing about who's walking next to who like some preschoolers ('dont walk next to me' 'its you who's standing next to me' typa thing) then deciding that they're gonna stay at least 2 metres away from each other

-The manga clearly shows Chuuya's expression when he's talking about 'being happy when Dazai left'. He definitely doesn't look very happy. (In the anime we just get some background drawings)

-Manga Chuuya's lil blush when Dazai compliments his taste in shoes 😭😭

-When Dazai asks for Chuuya's knife, in the manga Chuuya just goes 'oh sure lemme find it' and is actually ready to give him the knife. In the anime? Chuuya doesn't search for the knife, instead he just gets annoyed

-Anime deleted the scene where Dazai talks to Chuuya about recording Kunikida while he was cursed with Q's ability. Chuuya going bruh he also annoys ppl in the agency

-those two idiots calling each other stupid nicknames for half of a page

-Chuuya mentioning keeping a track of women Dazai made cry and threatening him with sending them Dazai's address????

-Dazai telling Chuuya that his intelligence will be consumed by his hat (im currently looking at my polish version of the manga so the translation may be a bit off but anyway)

-Before activating Corruption, they yet again call each other a bunch of stupid nicknames (ahah consider this a silly form of goodbye if anything happens)

-Remember my post about Dazai keeping his eyes on Chuuya at all times during Corruption in the manga? In the anime he looks either at John or at Lovecraft, no puppy eyed loser

-Just a mention that in the manga we see Chuuya sleeping while he's sitting, he doesn't flop passed out to the ground (until later)

Well i will stop there for now bc it's past midnight and umm this is gonna be long af if i continue with the rest so,, i will add the differences in the next skk interactions tomorrow or something muah

#sab q&a #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #skk #soukoku #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #tagging this more this time bc aughh i need ppl to read the manga to see all the differences #i dont think dead apple is very different #15 has A LOT of differnces so it will take a while to go thru #there's also some tiny differences in the Meursault arc but yesh #anyway goodnight #hope this will be enough for tonight muah #sab yapping