#second section especially I think is where I'm really like- man I *hope* I'm expressing myself alright and people get what I'm laying down

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Let's Talk About Lincoln And His Dads, Okay?

I think people claiming that Lincoln and Grant "aren't so different after all" because, like everyone else in the show, they both have blood on their hands, have mostly missed the mark on where the core of Lincoln's issues with his dad(s) lie in the first place.

Moreover, I'm tired of people insinuating that Lincoln's troubles pale in comparison to Normal's or Scary's or Hermie's, and I'm tired of people saying that Lincoln is overreacting, or that Lincoln is a hypocrite for calling out his dad's behavior, or that he is in the wrong for setting boundaries, or that he's ungrateful, or that he's responsible for ensuring his dad's emotional wellbeing and not the other way around!

*breathes* So let's. Let's finally talk about Lincoln and Grant (and Marco also him).

[WOAH THERE! Hey you, yeah you, this is a long-ass post, mhm, it's one of those, so please keep that in mind before venturing below the cut. Maybe grab yourself a drink or a bite to eat first, yeah? Additionally, sorry the transcript stuff is a bit messy in this one, tumblr has a 30 image limit and well, I had to find workarounds. Also, I haven't yet added alt text for the transcript screenshots- I plan to when I have a bit more energy for it, but I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause in the meantime!]

Part 1/4: "Honesty is hardly ever heard, and mostly what I need from you"

Lincoln is certainly a pacifist at heart (in more recent times important examples of this include Lincoln's refusal to harm Scary in the Swallows household, as well as Lincoln being the only one of the teens to successfully avoid using violence in front of d00d during their most recent standoff with Willy), and in good paladin fashion functions as the group's moral compass the majority of the time.

Despite this, Lincoln's morals are not so simplistic and idealistic as to not differentiate between different motives for violence, nor does he view acts of violence in and of themselves as signs that a person is "evil" or "irredeemable". He can for example, see the difference between the acts of Willy and those of the kiddads, as he tries to explain when confronted by the other teens on the matter:

In fact, even after Grant tells Linc all of this during the incursion:

Lincoln's primary goal is still to save his dad first and foremost, then offer him the room to explain himself, without immediately chalking him up as a bad person because of what he has done.

Lincoln certainly doesn't approve of Grant and his violence, though he can understand that things are seldom black and white. But the killing is far from the only issue here. In fact, it's not even the main issue.

Grant creates a foundation based on trust and accountability whose importance in the Li-Wilson household is hammered in from the very first episode.

And we see throughout the early episodes of the season just how strongly Lincoln believes that Grant would never lie to him.

Then of course the incursion point encounter happens. There are several elements of this encounter that we will gloss over for now and go back to later, but of immediate importance is the fact that this interaction serves as direct confirmation for Lincoln that his dad has in fact been lying to him his entire life.

Additionally, he learns that Grant possesses a deep hatred of himself, wants to die, perceives himself as "broken beyond repair", and fears that Lincoln will somehow wind up just like him. That's a lot for one kid to have dropped on them, let alone all at once and without warning!

So- Lincoln wants to confront his dad after this both because he wants his dad to explain himself and take accountability for his dishonesty and for his actions more generally, and because he is concerned for his dad's wellbeing.

Now let's look at how Grant has, over the course of the season, responded to Lincoln's attempts to get him to take responsibility for his actions, and talk about his mental health:

The first thing Grant does is pull a classic Wilson "we'll talk about it later". Then the very next thing he does is lie to Lincoln again, now pretending that his plan is to fix things with Erin by offering her a gift (when of course he's actually set out to steal the sun)

Then as a deflection when Lincoln further tries to confront him about the lying, he indirectly equates everything he has kept secret from Lincoln (see the incursion point stuff) to "little white lies" and, contrary to the philosophy he so heavily instilled in Lincoln, argues that sometimes lying can protect the people one cares about:

Which as a point of interest I would like to compare and contrast to something Lincoln says in an earlier episode:

"lies can protect" vs "protecting is also trusting"- anyways moving on,

From there Grant's plan to steal the sun eventually comes to light (heh) and gets foiled, forcing the teens to be the mature ones in the situation and try to negotiate something with Erin. While he is certainly disappointed by everything going on, however, Lincoln's priorities vis-à-vis Grant are still, first and foremost, to ensure that he is safe, and when time allows for it get an apology from him and get him to talk openly about everything he has withheld. At this point in time Lincoln, while obviously angry at his dad, still very clearly cares about his dad and just wants to be able to talk with him without all the lies or deflection or excuses.

Then the teens are backed into a corner when their attempts at negotiation go sour, and ultimately wind up helping Grant steal the sun. Once that is over, Lincoln tries to confront his dad again, now with regards to some of the things he said about himself:

(Do note that last bit especially as it will be of relevance in the next section)

Then after Grant ignores the other teens when they try to talk to him, Lincoln calls him out and once again asks him to apologize, in part for having told Lincoln previously that they were dangerous and that he was not to hang out with them:

(as you might have guessed, Grant does not apologize).

Then it is established that the "zone of truth" in the Li-Wilson household isn't actually a spell but an agreed upon promise between Marco, Grant, and Lincoln to tell only the truth when someone calls upon the zone of truth, further cementing the degree to which honesty is an important Li-Wilson family value. Whilst in the zone of truth, however, Grant beats around the bush with regards to his intentions, and the teens ultimately decide that they do not want him to come along with them to the church of the doodler, as he is untrustworthy, in addition to Lincoln saying that he needs some space for his own sake. Grant then pretends to respect this decision, though he is in fact once again lying through his teeth, and sneaks back on later.

Before exiting the bus for the first time, however, Lincoln tries to get his dad to open up a bit about his feelings. Grant's response?

Time after time after time, Grant refuses to confront himself and address anything from what occurred at the incursion, and in fact adds on to everything with a whole new slew of lies, and with each failed attempt at connection the rift between Lincoln and Grant increases. And Lincoln, true to his values and how he was raised, is not a hypocrite in wanting openness and accountability from his dad. Lincoln is not and has never acted like he is perfect and beyond making mistakes, but Lincoln takes responsibility for his actions, even when the degree to which he is actually complicit in the crime at hand is questionable. He writes a letter to the families of the firemen because he feels responsible for their deaths. He apologizes to Taylor for lying to him about the bracelets and helps not only Taylor but also Nicky escape the clutches of the FBI, even though the consequence of doing so could easily have been his own death. When he thinks he may have inadvertently lead Hero on, his immediate decision is to take accountability for it and clear things up. All of this in addition to consistently apologizing to his friends when he thinks he may have hurt them for one reason or another.

This is also an important thing to consider when we talk about the place of violence in the show. Yes all the characters, including Lincoln himself, have had to kill at some point or another for the sake of survival and protecting the ones they love. But Lincoln does not use the blood on his hands to justify violence in future decisions. Despite the fact that he has had to kill before, Lincoln, as mentioned in the beginning of this essay, continues to try incredibly hard to act as pacifist whenever he can, choosing to protect those around him with as little collateral damage as possible. Does he have a perfect track record? No! Does he still try his damned hardest to choose kindness and mercy? Absolutely! And this is an important distinction especially between Lincoln and Grant.

And then Grant kills Terry. Now Lincoln must shift his priorities towards protecting his friends from his dad, but in running after Scary still finds himself forced to confront him. So what does Grant have to say regarding his actions?

Both Lincoln and Scary are right to be furious with this response, Terry Jr. is dead and all Grant can offer in response is what is essentially another excuse. Grant's mental state does not absolve him of responsibility or accountability for his actions, which as Lincoln points out (and repeats later) consist not only of the singular choice of shooting Terry, but of every choice he has made before and after that. "I'm sorry your dad is broken" obviously doesn't bring Terry Jr. back, but perhaps more importantly demonstrates that Grant is still not willing to reflect on his actions any further than that and work on himself moving forward.

So Lincoln does what is perhaps the most difficult thing he has done in his life, and disowns his father. This is not a rash, impulsive decision. As established, Lincoln has given Grant many chances throughout the season to address his behavior and at least fucking *talk* with Lincoln about his mental state, but he refused. He refused, not because he means harm, but because Grant truly believes himself to be fundamentally broken and irreparable, and doesn’t see the effect that his own suffering is having on his son. This, in addition to continuously failing to take Lincoln seriously and treat him as more than a little kid, both in failing to listen to Lincoln's voices of concern as well as in disregarding any of his proposals to go about things differently (whether that means avoiding violence, trusting rather than lying, or both).

So when Lincoln says:

"It's not about what you just did now, Dad. It's all your choices. You chose me. There wasn't some passion, or, or just a kid. You chose me as your kid, knowing you were broken. You can't take that back. And… I love you, and I hate that you made me love you, when… you are who you are and you knew it."

This isn't Lincoln saying that Grant should not have had a kid because he is mentally unwell or has trauma, it is Lincoln saying that Grant continues to make choices without acknowledging his agency in those choices and the effect they have on those around him, instead choosing to pin his mistakes on his perceived brokenness without any resolution to do something about that.

And before you say, "but Grant didn't have a choice in becoming Lincoln's parent since he saved him from the Titanic":

This simply isn't true, as strictly speaking there was nothing stopping Grant and Marco from putting Lincoln up for adoption if one or both of them did not feel themselves to be ready or capable of taking care of a child and

Ignoring Lincoln's exact phrasing, "choosing to be a parent" is not just about the literal choice to have a child, it's about every choice you make before and after that. It's choosing not to express your concerns over parenthood with your spouse, which based on Grant's track record:

-Is definitely in-character for him. Conversely, in Marco's case, it may be choosing not to ask your partner about their feelings on the matter (because, really, asking Grant on the spot while literally on a sinking ship if he's okay with adopting the baby they just found is kinda rough). It's choosing not to go to therapy (not that we know whether Grant specifically did/does or not but all the same). It's choosing not to apologize when your child is upset with you because of something you did. It's choosing not to take them or their friends seriously. It's choosing to lie instead of trust. It's an endless amount of choices that Grant (and Marco) made every step of the way!

As a final note for this section, what's particularly unfortunate is that even with Lincoln's disownment, Grant still has failed to show any major signs of change. Note this telling exchange (from episode 40):

Grant: I-I understand that. I just thought. Just something that just occurred to me. Hey Dood.

Dood: Yeah?

Grant: Why did you kill those two guys?

Dood: Because I love you so much and I wanted to protect you.

Grant: Okay. That's all I wanted to know.

In which Grant is still making excuses rather than owning up to or apologizing for anything or striving to change his behavior in the future. What's great about Grant's "point" here too is that the two guards that d00d killed were absolutely unnecessary deaths, so this example does anything but work in Grant's favor.

Part 2/4: "My mother hates her body, we share the same outline"

But this is only part of the problem. As aforementioned, we learn early on and see repeated on multiple occasions that Grant thinks ill of himself to the point of believing that he deserves death, and does not want Lincoln to be anything like him.

This affects Lincoln in two major ways. Perhaps most obviously, it leaves Lincoln greatly concerned for his dad's wellbeing, which in turn acts as his main motivation for trying (and failing) to get Grant to explore and explain those feelings. Additionally, however, Grant's self-loathing also has a passive but deeply damaging effect on Lincoln's self-worth. The most important indication of this is when Lincoln says:

"Okay. Look, Scary, I just... You know what? I don't even care. I just needed a friend and I don't know… I don’t know what you're going through, but… no, my dad always said you can't love somebody unless you love yourself, right? Well, last time I asked him if he loved himself, he… He doesn't. So… I don't know, so maybe he doesn't love me either. And you seem to know what that's like, and, you're my friend! You're dealing with these things and I'm just here. I just, I don't know! I don't love myself either! I don't know! But I know that more people will die if we can't do this together, and you're the only person, like, in this group— I mean you guys are, I mean— [sighs] Look, you can go. I'm not going to stop you. You go if you want to go. I'm done."

Also classic Lincoln move to say he doesn't care then proceed to hug Scary through an Eldritch Blast. In this essay, on why people misuse the word "apathy" in applying it to Lincoln,

Though the issue comes up again in a less obvious but very interesting way when Lincoln says that:

Which I assume probably seems pretty out of left field. To explain a bit what I'm trying to get at here, consider the following scenario:

Your parent, who you care about immensely, possesses certain qualities (say, idk, intrusive thoughts or mood swings or delusional thoughts or *something*) that they possess great shame over, and truly, wholeheartedly believe makes them "evil" or unlovable or even outright deserving of death. Of course, you do not believe that your parent is any of these things, it hurts to see that they feel this way about them-self, so you try your best to support them, even if you know deep down that you are their child and this should not be your responsibility. Your parent does not see the effect that their mental state is having on yours, does not take your voices of concern seriously, and mostly leaves you feeling like you are talking to a wall.

This hurts already, but it gets worse. You are your parent's child, and you are human, and so you inevitably find yourself with some of the characteristics that your parent loathes so much in them-self. Maybe you have similar thought patterns. Maybe you've made similar mistakes. Your parent doesn't love them-self because of these qualities that you now see in yourself, so how can you be sure that they do not hate you for them too? Do they believe that you deserve to die for these things as well? Your parent obviously assures you to the contrary, after all, they love you more than anything. But your parent fails to offer any meaningful line of distinction between their flaws and yours (after all, there isn't one, not really), and continues to assert that, unlike you, they really do deserve to die. Your parent is a hypocrite, and their reassurance does little to convince you.

Hopefully that makes some sense. With regards to the "dreams about killing my dads" part, mostly what I'm trying to say is that these dreams, while certainly very different from Grant's conscious thoughts about violence, still tread the line of mimicking them to some degree, and Grant's "I deserve to die because of how my brain works, don't be anything like me because that's bad!" really doesn't leave Lincoln with a healthy way to process and interpret this fact about himself, even if these dreams don't actually say anything about who he is as a person.

Anyways all that to say, on multiple levels Grant's unwillingness to even try to love himself and treat himself better has been having effects on his son that he can't even begin to realize, in addition to everything discussed in the first bit.

"But baba," I hear you say, "what about Marco? Why has Lincoln seemingly disowned both of his dads?"

Part 3/4: Three is the loneliest number

Well, I think there's a couple things going on here. For one thing, I think in a sense Lincoln sees his dads as kind of a "package deal", which is to say that from his pov disowning Grant means Marco would have to pick a side, and though it pains him immensely (as we see evidence of on several occasions), Lincoln would ultimately rather give up Marco than have Grant be left alone without either of them, because he will always love and care about Grant, and because he's selfless that way.

Additionally, for a good long while, Lincoln doesn't actually appear to harbor any resentment towards Marco:

However, this later part of the season has brought with it a new wave of disillusionment, and in its wake Lincoln has finally come to question the last major issue characterizing his relationship with his parents: social isolation.

We have known from basically the first episode of the season that Lincoln has lived a very isolated, lonely life, and that the only reason he's even going to public high school now is because he finally convinced Grant to let him:

As a side note, I have seen discussion of the fact that since Lincoln was rescued from the Titanic, it's possible that he was homeschooled solely because he did not legally exist. The above statement from Matt seems to work against this theory, in addition to the fact that if Lincoln was missing legal papers to get into elementary school... That would also prevent him from going to high school. Also, I mean. If you actually were to find an abandoned baby there's a whole legal process you're supposed to go through, and since Lincoln surely wouldn't have any close blood relatives around, that would still leave the possibility for Grant and Marco to adopt him legally if they wanted to (and if they chose not to go through said process, that's kind of on them?). Which isn't to say that this theory is out of the question, but in any case being homeschooled is one thing, whereas the actual degree of social isolation Lincoln goes through growing up is way more than just that, as we will delve into.

Now, we know that Grant eventually puts an end to Lincoln and Normal seeing each other on the basis that Lark and Sparrow are dangerous, which... Itself is actually fair tbh, in particular given what we now know about Hero. Not fair to Lincoln or Normal, obviously, but understandable. Much less acceptable, is the fact that Lincoln actually grows up without any friends his age whatsoever:

We understand of course that the motives behind this extreme social isolation are not malicious or otherwise done with ill-intent, but that doesn't make this even remotely okay! Of course then Lincoln is very clingy and perhaps even territorial over his dads, to the point where one of his biggest fears is his parents having another child who would take some of their attention away from him- they've created an environment in which they are basically all he has!

As a direct result of this, Lincoln gets lonely very easily, and when he finally does make some friends of his own, he will do anything and everything for them, even if it means risking his own life (at least then he isn't alive and lonely!)

This is also why Lincoln is so especially distraught after the loss of Mr. Kicks, a digital avatar whom he considered his best (and only) friend.

Additionally, Lincoln's fear of returning to his lonesome childhood creates an unfortunate scenario in which he cannot be honest with his dads about the fact that he is being bullied at school

Even though that is definitely the case (and in fact we see it first-hand on many occasions), because to do so would run the risk of his dads taking him out of public school, and that, to him, is worse.

Lincoln beginning to view this aspect of his childhood (the isolation but also the over-protectiveness and overbearing attitude more generally) for what it is is why Matt's intros have recently shifted from "schooled at home" to "schooled in prison", in addition to pretty directly saying that high school was like heaven compared to his home life (in episode 40), and I don't think Lincoln is even remotely in the wrong for looking back at his isolation and thinking "hey, even if you had good intentions, that was kind of fucked up actually, and I need to distance myself from you for my own sake."

Not that Lincoln wanting freedom from his overbearing dads is a new thing! I mean apart from what one can logically infer from Lincoln convincing Grant to let him go to public school, Matt does drop a bunch of telling details here and there such as Lincoln's favorite sound being "the silence of being home alone and free". It's just that now is when these feelings are finally starting to come to the surface.

It is also something that Lincoln naturally would hold against both Grant and Marco, because they are both aware of and responsible for this aspect of his upbringing (whether Marco acted actively or as an enabler in the matter notwithstanding- though I would look no further than both Grant and Marco getting red cards the one time they tried letting Lincoln play soccer with other kids to observe how that family dynamic plays out), hence feeling the need to cut himself off from the both of them in order to set a long-overdue boundary. That said, to be honest with you, I really don't think he's actually all that upset with Marco, and would mostly just like to see him again.

If the events of the Titanic help to ease any aspect of Lincoln's frustration, it would be this one. Not in the sense that it magically makes what Lincoln went through growing up okay, but it does still recontextualize Grant and Marco's degree of overbearingness and (part of) why they are how they are, and I absolutely think that Lincoln would have sympathy for that.

So, where does that leave us?

Part 4/4: What remains (+ the case study of Scary)

"But baba," you say, "Grant and Marco are not just their mistakes! They've both done so many things right as parents, and they love Lincoln more than anything!"

I turn to you, tears in my eyes. "I know," I say, "I know, but that does not contradict or erase the fact that they have inadvertently hurt Lincoln in many, many ways, and he has a right to be upset with them, and express that, and set boundaries if he feels the need to."

You sigh. "So do you think Grant is a good dad or a bad one?" you ask.

I shake my head. "He's just... He's just a dad. A dad who's had a rough swing of things from the beginning. He never meant to hurt Lincoln, and I truly believe he's got a good heart, but I want to see him try harder. I need to see him try harder than he currently is to better himself, for Lincoln's sake as much as his own."

Is... More or less how I feel. I absolutely agree that as a parent Grant obviously gives a shit, and my intention here is absolutely not to say "hey actually, Grant is awful!"

As I mentioned at the very beginning of this essay, however, collectively I have found over the course of the season that Lincoln's trauma and struggles have gone severely understated and undermined, sometimes to the point of even turning him into the bad guy or depicting him as acting dramatic for a decision that I think was very brave of him, actually. So... It does feel necessary to me to point out that, as much as I care about Grant and recognize that he's suffered immensely too, he's still made a lot of mistakes over the course of the season, and still has a lot of room to grow as a person.

As things currently are, I would not blame Lincoln if he did not forgive Grant by the end of the season. Do I think that's what's gonna happen? No lol.

If you'll excuse a mini side-tangent, because for now I don't really want to make this a separate post, the mid-season evolution of Lincoln and Scary's relationship is actually a great case study for Lincoln's capacity for forgiveness, in addition to his inability to give up on people:

Tony Pepperoni's murder is, I would argue, an attack against Lincoln most personally (relative to the other teens). Aside from Lincoln having the strongest pacifistic tendencies of the group, it's in his home, it's in front of Marco, as established in the 3rd section Tony Pepperoni, by virtue of having been over for dinners at the Li-Wilson household before, is someone Lincoln knows more personally than the other teens and one of the only people in his life he could have possibly approximated to a friend. Most importantly though, Scary goes behind Lincoln's back in letting Willy out and disclosing the location of the party, and that is a significant breach of trust.

So Lincoln kicks Scary out of the house (and more or less out of the group by extension) because protecting the others from her is the most important thing at that point in time (sound familiar?). For the next bit, Lincoln's behavior towards Scary becomes a juggling act of keeping a close eye on her to make sure she doesn't cause more harm (and yes, it's also when they are meanest with each other), but also keeping a close eye on her to look after her (a notable example of this being that he doesn't leave her behind in the hall of mirrors, even when it would have been easier and perhaps even "beneficial" to do so in the context of the anchor quest).

And yet despite all the mutual hostility, Lincoln without question also fights the hardest to get Scary back. He breaks the pick as a sign of trust (and as Freddie put it: "that's love babeeey") and to show her she's welcome back in the group, follows through on this decision despite the fact that it creates a temporary rift between him and the others (Normal and Taylor) who oppose her return (perhaps a good time to also say as a reminder that Lincoln was the most against letting Willy out in the first place), breaks a door down to protect her from Willy even when everyone else in the house treats him as crazy for doing so, refuses to fight Scary when she goes on the offense, and hugs her through a god damn eldritch blast because he can't let her leave and hurt more people but still cares about her to the point that he would literally choose to die before hurting her or giving up on fighting for her. Like, if that's not love and forgiveness, I don't fucking know what is. This in addition to him encouraging the others to go easy on her and otherwise looking out for her past that point.

So do I think Lincoln Li-Wilson has it in him to forgive Grant in spite of it all? That is a resounding yes from me. Will the events of the Titanic facilitate this if only by painting Grant's situation in a more sympathetic light and showcasing some of his virtues? Totally, I mean, there's a reason Anthony decided to make the arc go this way. But will I be a bit disappointed if this forgiveness comes without any major growth on Grant's part? Also. Also yes yeah.

MM. I DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW TO END THIS ONE TBH. Heh. Well, thank you for one thing, for taking the time to read a post this long. If you're reading this not too long after I posted it I am most definitely pacing around rn going "oh god they hate it!" but uh. Well that's a me problem lol. Anyways, I hope this proves to be at least somewhat insightful? ...Yeah no apart from that I really am struggling to end this properly and honestly I'm real sleepy lol so I'll just say again (whether you agree with the points listed here or not) THANKS FOR HEARING ME OUT Y'ALL AND TAKE CARE.

#dndads #lincoln li wilson #grant wilson #Nervous about this one! Well I always am with these but people can be a bit touchy when it comes to Grant especially so there's that. #dungeons and daddies #but what can you do ig! #marco li #long post #baba babbles #<- tag I still don't use usually smh #second section especially I think is where I'm really like- man I *hope* I'm expressing myself alright and people get what I'm laying down #scary marlowe #suuuuure yeah enough Scary here that I can tag her in I think

[n-blanca-archived]

↳ CLASS 1-A HC’S TO MAKE YOU SMILE (hopefully) 

A/N: i’ve been on class-1a brainrot (yes, all of them. collectively) for SO LONG and honestly? I love it here. romance is all good and dandy but FRIENDSHIP? good shit. 

on that note, these pairings are all platonic! just little things i like about their dynamics or things i think they’d do when they hang out :) feel free to see them as romantic though, not like i can stop you :P

p.s sorry for dipping??? for like months???

genre: fluff

warnings: minor situational angst

→ Denki & Izuku

❑ These two boys are the other’s hype-man, totally. Kaminari absolutely does not mind sitting through Izuku’s ravings about the fluctuating hero rankings, or even just the times where Izuku mutters on and on. 

❑ Kaminari’s been ignored enough times to know that it doesn’t feel good at all to want to talk to someone and for them to sheepishly tell you they’d long since stopped listening. Izuku does the same for Denki, no question. Sometimes Denki starts talking, and he doesn’t really...stop. 

❑ But Izuku finds it’s nice to hang out with the boy, and he doesn’t mind not contributing to the conversation when Denki looks so elated to see someone listening for once. 

❑ While I will forever be the number one advocate for Bakugou tutoring Denki and finding different studying strategies that work for Denki instead of giving up on him, I think Izuku’s just as likely to do that for kami! 

❑ It’s a frustrating first session, but once Izuku’s brian suggests that Kami might just need another method of studying, he takes that idea and runs with it. 

❑ The next week, kami goes to Izuku’s room a little afraid of the freckled boy rejecting him- but to his surprise, Izuku presents him with all types of new study methods, including colored index cards and a home-made sentence reader that covered the entire page except for one line at a time.

❑ (yes, he did tear up for a second.) 

❑ They end up going through that week's chapter in half the time it usually took Denki to get a subject, and they got to play video games afterward! 

→ Ochako & Katsuki

❑ While I don't think the boys in 1-A look down on the girls in the sense of "but they're girls so they are weaker :(" all that much- Katsuki was the first and only one really to make that clear. He didn't see her as something or someone to pity. She was an opponent and a damn capable one at that.

❑ So, yes. Maybe Ochako and Katsuki aren't exactly best friends who'd die for each other. But they’ve proven to each other that if there's someone who'll bring their all to a fight no matter the circumstance, it's each other.

❑ Ochako’s weariness when it came to Katsuki was short lived. It was kind of hard to be so...afraid of someone who treated you better than others seemed to coddle her when she told them she was a hero-in-training. 

❑ It starts small, too. At first it was just teaming up occasionally during class for spars. Then it was going to the gym after school with Katsuki and Eijirou. 

❑ Tiny little hang-outs like that then turn into joining the blonde on his morning runs every once in a while, and eventually Ochako found herself seeking out Bakugou every weekend, and the blonde seemed to be on the same mind-track, too. Every Sunday, when Ochako pulled open the front door, she spotted Katsuki, stretching out in the front lawn, waiting for her. 

❑ (and if they occasionally have breakfast together after their bi-weekly sunday training sessions, then that's their business.)

→ Shouto & Eijirou

❑ them hanging out wasn't really ever. Expected. Like, at all.

❑ but kirishima's shown that he has a knack for weird, almost hostile awkward boys with low friend counts

❑ so shouto fits right in

❑ really it starts when Kirishima finds Shouto in the common room, staring into space. Usually he'd leave him be, but it was weird to see the boy without his group of friends joining him

❑ in an effort to get to know shouto better, kiri offers to play a few rounds of super smash bros,,, and shouto just. blinks. at him. And kiri blinked back for a second before he realizes shouto didn't know what super smash bros was

❑ and of course, to kiri, that's absolute blasphemy

❑ so kiri abandons his trip to the kitchen in favor of sitting next to shouto on the couch, and teaching him how to play as many video games as they could fit in one night

❑ (the first time kiri sees shouto laugh, he can't help the way his face splits into a grin. Todoroki, while not mean, was someone who came off as cold most of the time, so to see him so relaxed made Eijirou feel warm.)

❑ somehow it becomes a regular thing-- shouto would come downstairs, and eventually Kirishima would show up. Sometimes they were both alone, sometimes they were surrounded by their friend groups. But every time without fail, Kirishima would take his place next to shouto, hand him the blue controller that he favored, and turned on the TV to select the first game they'd be playing

❑ (watching Shouto start to gain some of Kirishima's vernacular was also an interesting - read:hilarious - experience)

→ Mina & Yuga

❑break dancing buddies

❑ like. I'm not kidding these two have moves.

❑ well. Mina does, at least. Aoyama gets it pretty quickly but it took him a second to familiarize himself with how your body moves when your break dancing.

❑ aoyama's danced ballet most of his life, so dancing wasn't new to him

❑ but this particular type of dancing was new to him- so of course he reached out to mina after the UA festival

❑ mina, ever the angel, agreed!!!!! Dancing buddies!!!

❑ Mina's also loved dance for a good amount of time

❑ it started in middle school, and just carried into highschool. The idea of being to express yourself with your /body/ was exciting, plus you looked really cool while doing it too!

❑ so when she gets asked by Aoyama to teach him how to breakdance she's nervous, but completely giddy to be able to be someone else's intro to a hobby that was a big part of her life

❑ it's not an uncommon sight to see mina and Aoyama, in their workout clothes, working through moves Step by step with Mina's phone blasting some random song that was beat heavy

❑ (Aoyama would be an interesting extra add on to the bakusquad. Am I wrong? No 🚗)

→ Hanta & Tsuyu

❑ Sero never really interacted with tsuyu, not to say he didn't like her! she just wasn't in his social circle

❑ so to say he felt awkward when he found her in the corner of the library during free period- curled up and sniveling away - was an understatement

❑ still, he put down the fourth issue of a manga he was /really/ looking forward to catching up on, and sat next to her until she calmed down enough to tell him what's wrong

❑ turns out, winter always sucked and made her tired, which made her sad. Added on to the already existing amphibian instincts in her that hated loud noises or too many people, it could get really overwhelming for her

❑ Sero offered to let her into his room whever she wanted to hang out in the quiet, if she felt embarrassed to do so with her closer friends

❑ she seemed surprised, but quickly agreed.

❑ Sero wouldn't tell her, but he often felt the same in a sense. The only two people in his friend group who could be relatively quiet in more personal settings were Bakugou, ironically, and Kirishima. So he often found himself leaving group hang-outs just a little early, to destress in his quiet room.

❑ tsuyu hadn't expected him to stay with her, and especially not offer his room to her whenever she needed to get away. Still, she agreed, knowing she'd probably never take him up on his offer

❑ she was proven wrong three days later, when Ochako squealed about...something.

❑ tsuyu couldn't say for sure what the floaty girl was yelling about. Normally she was attentive, really! But her head was throbbing and she was on the verge of falling asleep then and there when Ochako burst into a loud yell of excitement, startling the frog-like girl

❑ so tsuyu gathered her stuff as quickly as her sluggish body allowed, rushed out a quick goodbye to her baffled friends and made her way to the dorms

❑ the elevator was a struggle, with the humming of the machinery almost lulling her to sleep. She made it out successfully, though due to her drowsiness and increasingly blurring vision, she realized just a little too late that she had wandered down the wrong hallway

❑ sero's name plate made her stutter in her tracks, but after a moment of deliberation that left her swaying on her feet, she knocked as strongly as she could on the thin door, hoping the lanky boy was in his room

❑ thankfully, he was, and he only offered her a small smile before ushering her into the room and guiding her to his bed. Tsuyu thinks she croaked out a tiny "thanks", but she couldn't really be sure

❑ she slept better in those 39 minutes than she had in weeks

❑ after that, tsuyu somehow got into the habit of wandering down the opposite hallway once she left the elevator, and most of the time Sero would open his door when she knocked, only giving her a smile before letting her wander to his bed or, more commonly, the pile of blankets and bean bags he had in a corner of his room.

❑ (she wouldn't admit it, and neither would he, but the times where they walked back to his dorm together once their free period began were their favorites. and the days where tsuyu wasn't so sleepy and they talked for the hour they had weren't so bad, either)

okokok i’m cutting it here since that last section was super long! who knew i had so much to say about hanta and tsuyu ,,,, 

anyway! this was super fun, so i’ll definitely be doing stuff like this more in the future. if you have two characters you’d particularly like to see, don’t be afraid to jump into my ask box! 

#class 1a #class 1a headcanons #blanca.txt #bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #denki kaminari #izuku midoriya #uraraka ochako #bakugou katsuki #shouto todoroki #kirishima eijirou #mina ashido #yuga aoyama #hanta sero #tsuyu asui

[chronicallylatetotheparty]

Float Like A Butterfly Ch.3 Unwanted Burdens

Summary:

Marinette and Adrien are trapped in cages of duty and resentment.

--------------------------------------------------

"Don't you think Adrien's been acting weird?" Marinette asked.

Alya glanced from Kitty Section readying their instruments to her best friend. She wanted to reassure Marinette that her concerns were just her imagination running away with her again. But Alya noticed it too.

"You mean with Chloe?"

Marinette's nose wrinkled at the mention of Adrien's first friend. But her worry quickly came back. She never realized how little time they spent together until they started spending more. It wasn't what she would call a positive development. They seemed to argue a lot more now.

Alya looked at Marinette and knew they were thinking the same thing. Going over what she overheard in her head.

"I'm no good at being nice, Adrien."

"You don't have to be nice. You just have to not be cruel."

That was after Chloe had acted like her usual self with Sabrina. Alya didn't know if she agreed with Adrien or not but she never told anyone. It was a private conversation. And Chloe sounded oddly... vulnerable.

"They've been acting weird," Marinette conceded. "But there's something else that's... off about him." Her eyes widened. "What if it's something I did? Or something his fans said online? Or something worse!?"

Marinette blinked as she realized she was leaning into Alya's space. Stepping back Marinette slowed her words down to a less panicky level. "Could you check with Nino, please. Just, of course, you know, casually."

As if she summoned him with talk of his best friend Nino showed up. Frowning at his phone.

Giving Marinette a worried look Alya complied. "Nino, any word from Adrien?"

Nino bit his lip. "He can't make it."

"What!?" Marinette winced as her yelp attracted unwanted attention from the rest of the ship. "Did he say why?"

"Something about messing up on the piano?" Nino glanced back at his phone, expression shifting into a glare. "It's just like Adrien's old man to be a killjoy the five seconds he spends with my bro!"

"Hey," Forcing some optimism into her voice Alya placed a reassuring hand on her boyfriend's shoulder. "I'm sure Adrien will sort it out. It's not the first time his dad has kept him from hanging out with us.

Nino wasn't convinced but he nodded anyway and let Alya kiss his cheek. He also noticed that Adrien was acting weird. But no matter how Nino asked, Adrien always evaded the question. It was wearing on his patience.

"Captain Anarka speakin' to ya! So, how's it comin' along me young pirates!"

Marinette started as Juleka's maman appeared out of nowhere. She was loud and jovial and apparently didn't like cleaning? Maybe it worked for the Couffaines but Marinette's mind needed a bit more order to function properly.

Still, it was her home, er, ship so Marinette could appreciate Anarka's unconventional hospitality. A smile formed slowly as Captain Couffaine's exuberance pulled her and her friends out of less pleasant thoughts.

 -------------------------

Adrien played the piano mechanically. Feeling his skin burn under his Father's stern gaze. When he wished for more time together Adrien didn't mean being judged in person.

Despite the focus Gabriel's mere presence demanded, Adrien's mind wandered. Juleka had extended an open invitation to the entire class for the music festival. That was the first time one of his... not-exactly-close friends had actually invited him over.

And he was stuck here.

Adrien winced as a discordant note echoed from where his finger slipped on the wrong key. Eyes glancing fearfully at his father.

"I've heard enough." Gabriel raised his hand to forestall any more noise from Adrien. "Are you sure you're practicing, Adrien?"

Standing, Gabriel showed his back to his son. Not looking at Adrien when speaking to him. Voice full of accusation and annoyance.

In other words, Gabriel acted the same as always.

"... I'm just doing the same exercises over and over again..." An idea came to him. "I think I could make better progress if I could just play with other musicians." Adrien forced his tone to be hopeful, trying to reason with his father. "After all, music is meant to be shared with other people don't you think?"

"We Agrestes are soloists." Gabriel crushed Adrien's argument dismissively, deigning a glance at his son. "Not mere group members. I suggest you rehearse your piece some more. You'll play it for me again later today."

His heartbeat spiked. "But- Father! You promised that I could attend my friends' concert!"

"Not after that performance you've just given."

But you promised! Adrien's jaw clenched to keep the words down. There was no point in arguing with someone who didn't listen.

"Which is probably due to their influence.

His hands trembled. You don't know them! You don't know anything!

"You need to refocus, Adrien."

With that Gabriel and Nathalie, who Adrien had forgotten was even there, left without a backward glance.

"You need to refocus, Adrien."

Adrien sat their as a growing pressure built in his chest. Clawing, demanding, yelling.  Jerking to his feet Adrien paced, trying to get his body and mind to quiet down.

"You need to refocus, Adrien."

Rubbing at his eyes Adrien sent a brief text to Nino. Forcing his breath to even out. He didn't feel like talking at the moment.

"You need to refocus, Adrien!"

That done Adrien snatched up his basketball and threw it at the net. His piano disappearing into the floor. Grabbing the ball as it bounced he threw it into the net again. His piano rising from its hiding place.

"YOU NEED TO REFOCUS, ADRIEN!"

Again he threw the ball.

Down it went.

Again into the net.

Up it came.

Again.

Down.

Again.

Up.

Again.

Down.

Again.

Up.

Again.

Down.

Again.

Up.

Again.

Down.

Again.

Up.

Again.

Down.

Again.

Up-

"YOU NEED TO REFOCUS, ADRIEN!"

Adrien shoved the ball forcefully away from him. Not caring what it hit. Grabbing the remote he turned on his TV and raised the volume as high as it would go.

-------------------------

Marinette stared openmouthed at the massive shockwave that came from Luka's electric guitar. By comparison she was only mildly surprised when police helicopters appeared overhead.

Sabrina's dad pulled up with a megaphone. "Mme. Anarka, are you completely out of your mind!?"

M. Raincomprix was on a first name basis with Juleka's maman? That probably wasn't good.

"It's the National Music Festival today, Officer Roger! My crew's allowed to play whatever they want!" Anarka projected over the speakers.

Definitely not good. Marinette tried to de-escalate the situation. "Uh, maybe we could turn the volume down a bit, Captain? Then there'd be no more problem, right?"

"No! Out of the question!" Anarka dismissed immediately. "I didn't name my galleon Liberty for nuthin' y'know! It's a matter of principle!"

From there things quickly spiraled. Anarka's stubborn refusal to listen to anything Roger had to say prompting him to pettily give more and more tickets. Each addition enraging her so much her voice stuck in her throat.

Anarka stalked away from the others on deck once Officer Roger and the other police left. Face red and fists clenched.

Marinette looked at her friends, all of them worried. Especially Juleka and Luka.

Luka. "Are you okay?" Marinette asked.

"Um, yeah." Luka gave a wan smile. "It isn't the first time ma's gotten mad at the cops."

That didn't reassure Marinette the way he probably meant it to. "So, this, happens often?"

"I wouldn't say often." Luka's gaze landed on Juleka, currently being comforted by Rose. Appreciation lit up his eyes. "It's harder on Juleka. I help where I can but I can't stay with her all the time. Rose has been amazing the past year. She stays with Juleka if me and ma are working."

"You have a job?" Marinette blinked in surprise.

"I have to. Maman can't pay for-" Luka stopped. Apparently realizing that he might've said too much. "Anyway I help her out... Doesn't leave much room for hanging out, though."

His gaze travelled across the deck. Taking in all of Marinette's friends. For the first time she realized no one from Luka's school was there.

"That's... You're a good brother, Luka." Marinette felt she understood the older boy a bit better. Even if the Couffaine's as a whole were even more unclear.

He shrugged in a 'anyone would do it for family' kinda way. "I-"

Dark, purple-ish fluid flowed from the helm, covering the entire Liberty.

Marinette went cold. "Oh, no!"

Sure enough, Anarka was akumatized.

Captain Hardrock wanted to destroy the music festival until only their song remained. Amid the fear and uncertainty of being in the power of an akuma without her transformation, Marinette felt pride that her friends rejected Captain Hardrock without hesitation.

Marinette's mind raced as she struggled to find a way out of the chains that bound her with Luka. No one else was coming. She was the only hero Paris had to protect it! She had to find a way out! She had to-

Tikki peered at Marinette from her purse. Smiling in relief, Marinette gave her a subtle nod. Stealthily, Tikki phased through the lock, chains falling with a clatter.

"Wow! How'd you do that?" Luka gave her a wondering look.

"Uh, I, uh- With this!" She held up the guitar pick he'd given her.

"Your amazing," he praised, helping her up. "A real magician, Marinette."

"Uh, you think so? Oh, it was nothing. Uh, amazing? Really?"

" 'Scuse me but some of us are still chained up here, y'know," Alya interrupted.

"Right!" Marinette placed herself between her friends line of sight and the locks. Obscuring Tikki from view. Soon everyone was freed.

"How're we getting off this crazy ride, dudes?" Nino asked.

Luka looked around the inside of the Liberty, which wasn't as transformed as the outside. "I have an idea."

------------------------------

"Few! That was close!" Tikki looked out from Marinette's purse at the others who made it off the Liberty in makeshift rafts.

They were on the opposite side of the Seine. Luka, Juleka, Rose and Ivan. Marinette gazed after the Liberty. Alya, Nino and Mylene still onboard. Liberty's chains catching them before they could take off.

Anxious, persistent defeat loomed in the back of Marinette's mind. Threatening to drown her. She pushed it back with difficulty. "Tikki, I have to save my friends!"

"But last time you struggled without someone to help you," Tikki pointed out. Concern for Marinette's wellbeing overriding any other considerations. "You should go to Master Fu for help."

Conflicting emotions flickered across Marinette's face. "... You're right," she agreed, resigned.

Quickly, Marinette found a hiding spot and transformed. With a backward glance at the destruction wrought by Captain Hardrock, Ladybug reluctantly swung towards the Guardian.

-------------------------

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng, pick an ally you can trust to fight alongside you in this mission. Choose wisely. Such powers are meant to serve the greater good. Once the mission is over you will retrieve the Miraculous and return it to me."

Ladybug was only half listening. Engrossed by the only Miraculous that lit up in her mind.

No. Please not his. Please.

But no matter which Miraculous she looked at her gaze was drawn back to his ring. Hand trembling, stomach turning itself inside out, (Ladybug didn't want anyone else) her fingers closed around Chat Noir's ring. Once it was in her hand she pressed it to her chest. It was the only thing she had of him.

Master Fu's eyes widened at her choice. "Are you sure, Marinette?"

Ladybug just nodded.

Staring at her for a moment, he finally spoke. "The Miraculous of the Black Cat is the most dangerous out of all in existence. Whoever you choose must put others above himself."

The words entered but did not impact her. Like a stone being thrown into waters too turbulent to make ripples. "Of course... Master Fu."

---------------------------

"Luka Couffaine, this is the Miraculous of the Black Cat. Which grants the power of Destruction. Once our mission is complete you will return it to me."

Eyes wide in disbelief, Luka carefully took the offered Miraculous. Wonder quickly morphed into confusion, however. "Wait. Black Cat? But what about-"

A ball of green energy shooting out of the ring interrupted him. When he lowered his hand at the fading light a small, cat-like being floated in front of him. Its ears drooping and eyes sad.

Luka took an involuntary step back as a requiem filled his head at the sight of it. Fingers twitching for his guitar.

"You're not-" Green bubbles erupted from its- his mouth, gaze turning toward Ladybug. "Why isn't it-" Again green bubbles came out before he could finish.

Ladybug gave the small, sad, cat-like being a pained look. "We need your help, Plagg. Paris needs your help... Please."

An unspoken understanding passed between Ladybug and Plagg. A conversation Luka was not privy to.

With a nod Plagg sized Luka up. "Well," he said with a mocking grin. "You're not much to look at. Name's Plagg."

---------------------------

With every misstep Ladybug reminded herself that Panthera was not Chat Noir.

That she couldn't expect him to function on the same level as someone who had his Miraculous for over a year. Couldn't expect someone she only just met to know her movements as well as someone who'd fought by her side since the very first akuma. Someone who'd never held a staff to wield it as expertly as someone who'd spent hours trying to figure out every possible use.

Ladybug reminded herself of this every time Panthera was caught in Liberty's chains or lost his staff to Captain Hardrock's swordplay or held back when he should push forward.

Her earrings beeped insistently, reminding her that time was almost up. Finally, Ladybug managed to trap Captain Hardrock to the helm with her Lucky Charm. Cataclysm destroying only the compass instead of the entire ship like she planned. Luckily, it turned out that's all they needed and she purified the akuma.

As the Miraculous Cure set everything right Ladybug turned to Panthera and- Luka was grinning at her. Relief adding to his joy. He held up a fist. Hesitantly, Ladybug raised her own, rewarding him with a smile.

"Bien joue."

-------------------------

I hate you!

Adrien glared at the screen, having turned down the volume once the news reported something of actual interest: the akuma attack... And Ladybug's new partner.

I hate you!

Panthera, as he called himself, had a rather uninspired suit design. The only significant difference from Chat Noir's look was his green hair.

I hate you!

Heartbeat pounding in his ears, Adrien dissected everything about this 'Panthera' as he could from the shaky broadcast. The newbie held his staff like a club, having trouble with the extending functions.

I hate you!

Captain Hardrock thrust with her sword. Pushing Panthera back. Splitting his staff in two he held them in an X, blocking an overhead blow. But immediately Captain Hardrock switched to an underhand strike, separating the two halves of the staff and sending one flying into the Seine.

I hate you!

Ladybug's yo-yo pulled Panthera out of the supervillain's sword range. But not before losing his remaining staff.

Captain Hardrock charged. Ladybug dodging both her and the flying chains. Panthera jumped away from her sword... and right into the boat's chains.

The remote creaked in Adrien's tightening grip; teeth clenched.

I hate you!

Quickly breaking Panthera's restraints, Ladybug helped him to his feet. Together they charged. Or rather, it should have been together. Panthera had to retrieve his staff which threw off their timing.

Ladybug leapt from chain to chain in midair, as graceful as a gymnast. Panthera a fraction behind her. Captain Hardrock took advantage of the minut delay by breaking past Ladybug's assault, jumping onto the mast net.

I hate you!

Sweat beaded on Adrien's forehead despite the coolness of his room.

Ladybug summoned her Lucky Charm -her own chain- and searched for how to use it while Panthera protected her from the Liberty's attacks. Finally getting into his role.

They conferred for a moment before the chains forced them to split up. Ladybug disappearing below deck while Panthera took on Captain Hardrock. He was marginally better than before, returning her strikes blow for blow. But Captain Hardrock still managed to pin him to the mast with her chains.

I hate you!

Panthera was saying something to the supervillain... Attempting to reason with her. It didn't work, of course, but it gave Ladybug the distraction she needed to rescue him. As they fought Ladybug maneuvered the supervillain towards the helm. In one swift movement she tied Captain Hardrock to her own wheel.

I hate-

Adrien jumped to his feet, eyes wide as the first vestiges of fear mixed with his already pounding heart; the ship sailed through the air for one moment before crashing to the ground. Sagging back down he saw Panthera call on Cataclysm. And Ladybug's cure put everything back to normal.

Nadja went on to heap praise on this 'new Chat Noir' and ask questions Adrien hoped no one ever found out. I hate you! Scowling he turned it off.

I hate you! Adrien's frown deepened. Ladybug... was usually better at communicating her plans. I hate you! It was a confusing thought. I hate you! As it meant Panthera wasn't the only one to blame for such abysmal teamwork. I hate you!

A sharp crack brought Adrien's attention to the remote still in his clenched fist. Uncurling his fingers Adrien stared at the break running along the bottom. I hate you! If you weren't looking for it you wouldn't even notice. I hate you!

The sound of Adrien's door opening was the only warning he got of Nathalie's entrance. (Why didn't he have a lock? Every other room in the manor had a lock, even the kitchen had a lock! So, why didn't he?) Not for the first time Adrien noted how she didn't knock before entering.

His father's assistant glanced between him and the piano but said nothing about it to Adrien. That didn't mean she'd say nothing about it to Gabriel.

"Adrien. Your father had something come up at work and won't be able to hear your recital today." Nathalie's impassive expression never changed. "...He still expects you to practice. I'll try to fit you in tomorrow."

"..."

"Adrien-"

"I get it." Adrien snapped, unclenching his jaw. "Father has more important things to deal with."

Nodding once, Nathalie left as quickly as she arrived.

Adrien's chest rose and fell as his breath came rapidly. I hate you! Mind snapping back to the akuma fight -fingernails digging into his palms- or more specifically, Ladybug's new partner.

Panthera wasn't any better than Chat Noir. I hate you! Adrien's hands were shaking. I hate you! He wasn't a better fighter. I hate you! The remote slipped from his grip as he clenched and unclenched his fingers like claws. I hate you! He couldn't follow Ladybug's signals like Chat Noir could. I hate you! Adrien's vision blurred, eyes burning. I hate you! It was hard to tell across a screen. I hate you! His throat was too tight. I hate you! But the only significant difference was how silent Panthera was compared to-

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate-

Was that the only reason?

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I-

Wildfire raged in Adrien's chest. Burning his throat, his stomach, his head.

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

Did they really choose this wannabe Chat Noir because he WOULDN'T ASK QUESTIONS!?

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

Building pressure pushed at Adrien's chest and jaw and throat and eyes and fists.

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

Choose him because he would be quiet and obedient and SYCOPHANTIC!?

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

Bile rose into his mouth and stung his throat.

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

Adrien's whole body shook. Everything blurred, nothing was clear. Except the great, persistent, growing pain that threatened to shake him apart. He could feel himself cracking, breaking, shattering-

His phone rang.

Adrien scrambled for it. Like it was a rope tossed into the deep, dark well he found himself drowning in.

I hate you!

Without bothering to glance at the caller Adrien answered.

"Sup, bro!"

Blinking rapidly, Adrien saw Nino, Alya and Marinette crowding into the screen. Behind them were their other friends making some last minute preparations for the music festival. Suddenly his raging storm was much more endurable.

Nino leaned into the camera. "Dude, is your camera off? It's all dark."

"Uh, yeah, just a sec." Realizing that he must look like a mess Adrien hit mute and hurried into his bathroom. The red eyed, tear stained face that he washed away made him grateful his friends hadn't seen him.

I hate you!

With a deep breath Adrien turned the mic and camera back on, forcing a smile. "Hey."

"There he is!" Nino grinned.

Alya turned the phone to focus on her. "So, we know you were looking forward to being here. Which is why this girl," Alya wrapped an arm around Marinette and hugged her close. "Had the brilliant idea to do this video chat!"

Smile softening into something more genuine Adrien gazed at Marinette's pink face. "You were thinking of me?"

"W-well, I just thought that it was a shame you couldn't tea- be here! So, I just, yeah..." Marinette trailed off, eyes everywhere but the screen.

His heart slowed from breakneck speed to merely sprinting. "Thank you."

Marinette squeaked and muttered what could have been a 'you're welcome' before pushing the phone back to Nino. Wiggling out of Alya's grasp as she dashed off.

His best friend grinned at them as Alya chased after Marinette offscreen. But once his eyes came back to Adrien, Nino's brow furrowed slightly. "Seriously, bro, how you holding up?"

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

Something must've shown on Adrien's face as Nino asked: "That bad?"

Trying to downplay it Adrien shrugged. "It's not like it's the first time he's changed his mind."

That was apparently the wrong thing to say, as Nino scowled at the specter of Gabriel Agreste. "Dude. No offence, but I wanna sock your old man."

Laughter bubbled up and spilled out of Adrien. Blocking his breath and forming a stitch in his side. Vision blurring. Hand covering his mouth as he tried to control himself. Tried to stop it from devolving into hysterical sobbing.

"Adrien!?" Nino's eyes were wide with alarm.

Biting the inside of his cheek Adrien gasped for breath. "S-sorry." He fought of the giggles that threatened to choke him. "It's just... he's a head taller than you."

Nino drew himself up indignantly and Adrien was relieved to see his misdirection work.

"That bony hermit never gets off his rear-end! My little brother could kick him into next week, dude!"

A bark of laughter escaped Adrien's control. Thankfully not igniting the false manic glee. "Thanks for that."

Despite his confusion Nino still smiled at Adrien. "What are bros for?"

Gazing gratefully at Nino, Adrien felt himself balance on a melancholy plateau. "I really will be okay. This," by which he meant their call, "helps."

Nino fidgeted, adjusting his cap. "I just... wish I could do more, y'know?" The unspoken for you was clear as day.

A pleasant warmth bloomed in Adrien's chest, softening further the ache that remained. "I know, bro. That's why I love you."

"I love you, too." Nino searched for something more to say as he searched Adrien's face for what remained unsaid, but nothing came to him. "Well... Kitty Section is starting soon. Might as well greet the band before they become famous and forget they know us."

"No, we wouldn't want that would we..." Adrien could almost ignore the pressure in his chest.

After a round of waving and sympathizing with him for not being able to make it, they began. Kitty Section was amazing. Rose's voice was never like that! Juleka smiled widely, carefree. Ivan was the most intense Adrien had ever seen. They looked... alive.

Gabriel would certainly classify it as 'classless noise' but to Adrien? Kitty Section had something that he couldn't replicate inside the four walls of his cage.

I hate you.

At least, not without Plagg.

While he stayed in frame Luka never took his eyes off Marinette. A hopeful smile evident even across the screen. As night came on and the band went from rehearsing to performing, Luka seemed to play for one person only.

Adrien had never met Luka, despite hearing about him from the bandmembers in his class. And he didn't really count saying hello over video chat like his father. The older boy was nice, polite and good at guitar. Besides dyeing their hair Adrien couldn't honestly say Luka bore any resemblance to his sister.

"-out of chaos comes creation!" He heard Anarka spout in the background, talking to someone he couldn't see. Adrien didn't know why but the phrase stuck in his head. It was like a promise.

Out of Chaos comes Creation.

Wrapping it tightly about himself, Adrien brandished it like an amulet against the voice that wouldn't stop whispering at the edges of his thoughts.

I hate you.

Apparently, that wasn't why Adrien's mind had latched onto the phrase.

Trying to drown it out with Kitty Section's illegally loud music didn't work. It was always the same volume.

I hate you.

Distracting Adrien from enjoying his friends' concert. Like a thorn in his side.

He knew what it was. It was everything he was trying to ignore. Everything he felt at seeing himself replaced so easily. At the excitement in Alya's voice when she shot out theories about Panthera. At the Guardian, at Ladybug, at himself. All summed up into three little words Adrien had never said to anyone.

I hate you.

Despite Adrien's attempts to even his breathing and calm his heartbeat, the voice continued to plague his thoughts for the rest of the night.

I hate you.

A reminder that, even in his own mind, Adrien could never be free.

#ml angst #ml au #adrien angst #adrien agreste #captain hardrock #marinette dupain cheng #float like a butterfly #ml fanfic #ml fanfiction

[pilyarquitect]

Getafix’s mistake - Chapter 5. Reunions

Hello everyone! Here I bring you a new chapter of this Asterix fic, I truly hope you’ll all like it. I think the title says everything you need to know, or what it can be guessed it’ll happen here.  😊

Well, I’d like to give a special thanks to Drummergirl for helping me editing this story. I’m really, really, really grateful to her, she’s awesome!

Okay after say all this, here you have the fifth chapter of this story, I hope you all will like it!

********************************************************

The villagers were gathered around Vitalstatistix's cabin, waiting patiently – some more than others – for their chief to tell them why they had gathered them all there.

During the wait, which was taking a little while, Cacofonix emerged from the crowd saying:

"I’ve composed a new ode that will help us wait –"

He couldn’t finish speaking, because at that moment a fish thrown by Unhygienix hit his face directly, causing the bard to fall to the ground. As soon as he got up, he glared angrily at the launcher, turned his back on him and murmured:

"Ignorant… they don't understand my talent."

Just then, Vitalstatistix came out of his cabin and his bearers raised him on his shield. The village chief looked at everyone around him, and gloomily began to speak:

"My friends, I’ve summoned you here to ask for your help. I fear that… I fear that one of our own… one of our best friends… is in great danger. I need your help to look for him.”

"By all the gods! Who is he, oh Vitalstatistix?” one of the villagers asked.

"It’s Asterix." a voice answered from behind the crowd.

They all turned to see the one who had spoken, who turned out to be none other than Obelix. He was standing next to the old druid with a face of deep sadness, but also extreme determination.

"Asterix may be in danger. We’ve got to go and find him." continued the red-haired Gaul.

"Obelix’s right. We must leave immediately," added Getafix.

"That's just what I was going to say," said the village chief.

The concern for the blond Gaul soon became palpable among everyone present. Even the day itself seemed to have grown gloomier after receiving the harsh news.

"Then what are we waiting for?" said one of the villagers.

"Yes, by Belenos, let's not waste time," added another.

"True by Tutatis, we must hurry!" said a third.

Getafix intervened at that time, saying:

"Everyone calm down. It’s true we must go as soon as possible to look for Asterix, but before going, take some magic potion. You may need it."

As soon as he said this, all the villagers went to the druid's house to take a drink of potion and thus be able to immediately go out to find their missing friend. Everyone carried sadness and concern on their faces, but also deep determination. They would find Asterix, no matter what it cost. They wouldn’t abandon one of their own to an uncertain fate. Especially the village’s warrior, since he had done much for them. He had saved them countless times from grave dangers that had on multiple occasions threatened the survival of the village.

Yes, Asterix had always been there for them at all times, although the other inhabitants didn’t want his help since they thought they could solve their problems alone or they just didn’t want to recognize that what the blond Gaul did was for the well-being of all. A man like Asterix, despite his short stature, was someone for whom everyone had deep admiration and respect. No, none of them would allow anything to happen to him, not if they could avoid it.

Obelix was becoming increasingly concerned. They had searched for what seemed like hours, and there was still no sign of Asterix anywhere. The great Gaul was following his faithful pet, Dogmatix, who without lifting his nose was sniffing every section of the ground, looking for any trace of the blond warrior.

Suddenly, the small animal raised his ears and sniffed more intensely in a specific area of the forest. Then raised his head and howled indicating he had found a trail to follow.

When Obelix saw his puppy howl, his mind filled with hope. Now they were closer to finding Asterix. He could almost see himself talking to his best friend again, but any illusion the great Gaul had at that moment was truncated when he saw Dogmatix suddenly began to growl, indicating he detected enemy odors in addition to that of the blond Gaul.

Obelix's heart filled with fear imagining all the possible scenarios of his best friend in enemy hands, so he immediately shouted:

"Come on, Dogmatix! Let's not waste time! Take me to Asterix, quickly!"

Obeying his owner, the puppy began to run, following the trail that would lead them to his friend.

The other villagers saw Obelix and Dogmatix running and they soon guessed what that meant, so they instantly joined the race after the small animal. If their friend was in danger, they would rescue him soon, and in the process, they would make the Romans or whoever who dared to attack one of their own pay.

As they advanced, they realized that they were getting closer and closer to Totorum's camp. That could only mean Asterix was there.

Obelix was in the lead, knowing Asterix was almost certainly behind the doors now in front of him, his brow furrowed almost reflexively and his determination stronger than ever. If the Romans had done something to his best friend, they would regret it. He would personally assure it.

The two soldiers who guarded the camp’s entrance immediately turned pale when they saw the wave of Gauls coming over them. And although they tried alert the rest of the guards, they didn’t have time to do it. All the Gaul villagers rushed in a breakneck speed against the doors and entered the campground.

Obelix followed Dogmatix while sending all the soldiers who appeared before his eyes flying. The little dog then entered a tent. The great Gaul stopped dead when he reached the tent’s entrance. Although the menhir dealer wanted to come in and see how his friend was, he also feared the state he was going to find him in. His heart rate flurrying, his breathing became a little shallow, and his legs trembled slightly from the uncertainty that now filled his mind. Was it really a good idea for him to come in alone? If Asterix was wounded, he wouldn’t be the best candidate to help him. Just thinking his best friend might be hurt made Obelix's heart clench and a new wave of fear flooded his senses.

Finally, the desire to know what had happened was stronger than any fear that could occupy his mind. For that reason, Obelix took a deep breath, and with trembling hands, slowly removed the cloth that covered the entrance to the tent. When he had done so, he looked inside and saw a boy who was smiling because Dogmatix was licking his face enthusiastically, tickling him with each lick. When the little boy noticed the presence of someone else in space, he looked with frightened eyes at the newcomer, but his expression changed when he saw he wasn’t a Roman… at least, that's what Obelix supposed.

The boy looked at the great Gaul for a few seconds and then asked:

"Are you Mr. Obeliscoidix?"

At that moment the world around Obelix completely collapsed. The great Gaul hoped to find Asterix unscathed and completely safe, as he had been only a few hours ago, before Asterix went alone into the forest. But he’d never have imagined finding him in such a state, as when he was a child and believing Obelix himself was actually his father, Obeliscoidix. How to deal with such a situation?

"Getafix!" little Asterix yelled again "By Tutatis, I'm so glad to see you, oh druid."

Obelix then turned his eyes to Getafix, who had insisted on joining the search for the blond warrior. The druid, for his part, widened his eyes when he saw Asterix’s state. He certainly would never have expected his potion to produce such effect. The great Gaul looked again at his best friend and realized the eyes of the little Gaul had begun to shine with unshed tears. This caused Obelix to come out of his trance and rush to where Asterix was. He tore off the rope that kept his friend's leg attached to the tent pole. Then he also tore off the ropes that held the blond Gaul’s hands together, trying, in both actions, to be as gentle as possible with the child.

Finally, when Asterix was completely free, Obelix wrapped him in his arms and cradled him protectively.

For the menhir dealer, seeing his best friend, someone he considered his brother, on the verge of crying, caused him deep sadness. At these moments his heart was a whirlwind of emotions. On one hand he felt rage… rage against what had happened to Asterix… rage because the Romans had caught him; on the other hand he felt disappointment… disappointment with himself for not having been with Asterix when everything happened; but above all, he was afraid… afraid that Asterix would stay like this forever… afraid of what might have happened if they hadn't found him.

On the other hand, Obelix couldn’t imagine the fear that Asterix must have felt in this state, alone and being a captive of the Romans. Who wouldn't feel that way just being a child?

This situation brought to his memory the moment when his gluttony made his own body shrink, though he kept his mind intact. That didn’t deprive him of feeling alone and helpless when he was captured by the Romans. Although by far, the worst moment of all from that adventure was the moment he felt completely helpless, because he wasn’t going to be able to stop Asterix being thrown into the sea full of sharks. Fortunately, at that time, the red-haired Gaul regained his size and strength, so he managed to save Asterix before it was too late.

Since then, Obelix had promised himself he would never allow anything to happen to his friend, but now, in this situation… he had failed his promise, and the little Gaul was paying the consequences. If only he had hurried up and distributed the menhirs earlier, he would have gone with Asterix to the forest and none of this would have happened.

Obelix was deep in thought, so he was startled when a hand landed on his shoulder. Looking at the owner, he met the sympathetic gaze of Getafix.

"Obelix, please, I understand how you feel, but you need to let me see Asterix to see if he has suffered any damage." the druid smiled affectionately "It’ll only take a moment, you’ll see."

The red-haired Gaul lowered his gaze to the boy who was lying in his arms. Asterix was crying slightly, although he seemed happy to be with someone of Gaul origin and not Roman. Still hesitant, Obelix slowly lowered Asterix to ground level. Once there, the little boy ran into the druid’s arms.

Getafix hugged the Gaul boy while he buried his face in the druid's beard and cried. Between his sobs Asterix said:

"Oh Getafix… I-I was a-afraid, ve-very afraid…”

"Asterix, it’s all over, everything has already ended." the old druid tried to reassure him. He bent down to his level and helped the boy maintain eye contact with him.

"Come on Asterix, tell me what happened."

"The b-bad ma-man said h-he was going to ta-take me to Ro-Rome to f-force a-all the vi-village to s-surrender." said the little Gaul between sobs.

Getafix put his hands on Asterix's shoulders and spoke to him with reassuring words:

“Asterix, this won’t happen. It’s over. You have nothing to fear. We're here and we'll take you back home, I promise. But first I need you to do something for me, okay?”

The Gaul looked at his druid with a little surprise, and even with tears in his eyes, but nodded anyway.

"What do you need, oh druid?" he asked as he wiped away his tears.

"What I need is for you to tell me if something hurts, it’s very important."

Asterix stared at the ground while thinking for a moment. When he looked up again, he said sincerely:

"Right now, nothing hurts Getafix, but when I woke up a while ago everything hurt. Especially my head and… here." he put the palm of his hand on his chest.

The village druid looked where the boy indicated. His expression relaxed and smiling he spoke again:

"It's okay little one, just one more thing. What’s the las-?"

"I want to go home with my parents." said the little Gaul with new tears in his eyes. He wanted to get out of that place as soon as possible. He wanted to go back to the village and, above all, he didn’t want to go to Rome. So, the sooner they left, the less likely they were to take him to Rome.

"Yes, we’re leaving soon, but I need-" Getafix tried to say, but again he was interrupted by the blond Gaul.

"No, I want to go home now… please Getafix." Asterix pleaded.

"Okay, let's go." the druid finally surrendered. He knew from experience Asterix as a child had been a very, very stubborn boy, and opposing him wasn’t always a good idea.

Obelix had been silent the whole time. As soon as he heard his friend say the Romans intended to take him to Rome, a veil of rage covered his mind. This was the last straw! This time the Romans had gone too far. His hands were clenched into fists, and they trembled with the anger he was barely able to contain. Everything around him seemed to have vanished, he was alone with his thoughts…

"… -lix?"

The red-haired Gaul blinked up at his druid with Asterix in his arms and looking at him with concern.

"Obelix, are you alright?" Getafix spoke again.

"What? Oh yes, yes, druid, it's just…”

"I understand," said Getafix, guessing what was happening in the great Gaul’s heart, "but now we must return to the village, for the sake of Asterix."

Obelix looked down at the little Gaul, who had fallen asleep in Getafix's arms. The menhir dealer couldn’t help but smile seeing his best friend asleep soundly. But he realized that, although asleep, the boy still let out a sob from time to time. This was like a thorn digging into Obelix's heart. In a low and soft voice, he said:

"Getafix… do you…. do you mind if I take him?"

Getafix smiled and replied:

"I don’t see why not. Here, take him carefully so he doesn’t wake up."

And then he spread his arms allowing the great Gaul to pick up his best friend and cradle him in his lap. Little Asterix moved for a moment to better position himself in Obelix's arms. He seemed to be very comfortable in his temporary bed, so Obelix smiled again seeing Asterix was now sleeping peacefully and he had stopped sobbing. To Obelix this seemed almost like a sign that his best friend was still able to recognize him despite his current state.

When they had made sure Asterix was comfortable, they left the tent, picking up all the Gaul warrior’s belongings, especially the canteen. Getafix was glad to see the canteen still contained enough potion inside. If he could study its contents carefully, he would probably find a cure to return the blond Gaul to his original state.

Once outside, druid, Gaul and puppy met with the other Gauls, who had finished with the "cleaning" task.

The moment the other villagers saw Obelix arrive with little Asterix in his arms, a collective gasp was heard from them all. Vitalstatistix looked from his position on the shield to the boy and asked:

"Getafix, is he… is he really Asterix?"

"I am afraid so Vitalstatistix." replied the druid.

"Oh, by all the gods!"

"Shhh, I recommend keeping quiet and going back to the village, I wouldn’t like Asterix to wake up here again." Getafix spoke again.

"Okay, but… you can fix this, right, druid?" Fulliautomatix asked, who like everyone else was worried Asterix would stay in that state forever.

"I hope so, Fulliautomatix, I hope so."

After the old druid's last words, all the men started on the way back to their homes. None of them wanted little Asterix to wake up again in that place. He had already suffered enough.

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Overanxius was excited – practically elated. His inspection of the rest of the camps had been quite satisfactory. Now the time had come to return to the capital of the Empire, taking with him the little Gaul prisoner. Caesar would be proud of him and sure he’d reward him for his performance in Armorica and for making the indomitable village finally bow to Rome’s power. The gods had been benevolent to him.

The senator was about to arrive at Totorum camp and then realized the watchtowers he had seen before were now gone. This is very strange, thought the envoy from Rome, what could have happened? Then an overwhelming sense of restlessness seized his being, so with a whip to their horses, he made them pick up their pace to reach his destination as soon as possible.

When the camp appeared before his eyes, the vision was one of complete desolation, chaos, and destruction. This couldn't be the same camp he had been in just a few hours ago! He drove his carriage into the compound, only to find none of the tents were still standing and all the legionaries were scattered on the ground, many of them still unconscious. He got out of his means of transport and went straight to where Caius Marsupialus was. His face was red with anger. He shouted to the Centurion:

"By Jupiter! Can I know what happened here?”

"The Gauls happened," replied Caius Marsupialus.

The Roman senator turned even redder than he already was and looked around as though he were searching for something. Almost dreading the answer he was going to receive, he asked:

"And where is the prisoner, if you know?"

"They took him," was all the Centurion replied.

"How?! By Neptune! And you did nothing to prevent it?!”

"How were we supposed to stop them? The Gauls possess their magic potion that gives them superhuman strength. We are no match for them when they take it,” protested Caius Marsupialus.

Overanxius didn’t know how to contain his anger. All his plans, his desire for glory, had collapsed in a moment.

"And how did the Gauls know that we were holding that child here?" he asked again.

"We don’t know. We only know that they all came at once. They’ve destroyed everything and… they took the child." explained one of the legionaries defending his superior.

"It seems like it was the dog," said another of the legionaries.

"A dog? What dog?" the Roman senator inquired again.

"A small white puppy that always goes with the chubby Gaul, the best friend of the Gaul we had here as a prisoner." explained the legionary.

"So, in your opinion, that dog led all the Gauls here," Overanxius conjectured.

"It’s more than likely. It isn’t the first time something similar has happened," Caius Marsupialus said.

"Okay, okay…" Overanxius closed his eyes and massaged his head in an attempt to ease the sudden headache he now felt.

He opened his eyes again and said angrily:

"Do as you like, but I want that Gaul again!"

 *************************************

Welp, this is the fifth chapter. I'll be honest, I felt bad for Obelix when Asterix called him Obeliscoidix. He hoped to find his friend save and sound, but it happened exctly in that way. Poor Obelix... and what bad news for Overanxius, to know his prisoner had been recued, and the Roman camp now seemed a battle field. Well, things never happen as expected 😉 

Okay, after say that, I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I also would like to thank to all the people who’d read this story and: @elianemariane17 @theholypencil @alyxox02​ @lilacivories​ @coconuttyglittersmurf​ for their likes

See you in the next chapter 😉

I forgot to say this chapter includes a piece of art made by the awesome artist @zeragii I hope you liked it!

#asterix and obelix #Getafix's mistake #Asterix #Obelix #dogmatix #Getafix #all the village #attacking the Romans #someone is really mad

[prxttypxrker]

[secrets: part six]

[part] one two three four five

The more he thought about it, the more he justified his actions. If you went on to becoming friends with his heroic side or something more - which would’ve made things very awkward - then he would be spending at least half of his time worrying about whether you made it home safe or not. However, the friendship was something he couldn’t lose. He only had three people he was close with, especially at school, and you were one of them. Was he really willing to throw it away because of a secret?

When he walked through the doors of the school that morning, he made a beeline for where Michelle’s locker was located. He normally met you at the front before going inside, but after a few minutes of waiting he figured you were already in with MJ. However, you were nowhere in her vicinity. Peter reached her and looked at the girl with an anxious look, causing her to look at him oddly. “What's up with you?”

“Y/N - have you seen her?”

“I have - we walked here together.” MJ stayed silent after that, and the brunette widened his eyes just a bit.

“Are you not going to tell me?”

“Nope.” She closed her locker and readjusted the strap of her bag, giving her friend a sarcastic smile before heading in the opposite direction he was facing. He scrambled to catch up with the pace she was walking, keeping a hold on the straps of his bag until he was right beside the decathlon girl. She didn't even pass him a glance after noticing he was still there, ignoring his presence for as long as she could. Feeling his gaze on her, she sighed and crossed her arms. “Look, she's pretty hurt by whatever you've been doing. So if you want me to tell you, you'd have to fix the problem.”

The brunette boy gave what she said some thought. It was an obvious solution, but not a simple one. If anyone against Spider-Man found out about your connection to him, it would cause more than a distraction. There was a good chance you'd be targeted; possibly kidnapped or injured just to spite him. His conscious just wouldn't allow him to tell you anything, but he knew it had to be done eventually. The fact that the risk of losing you was so high because of a secret was ridiculously... ridiculous? There was a reason heroes kept their identities hidden from everyone around them. Yet Peter couldn't help but think of some supers who had friends or family find them out and ended up being a huge asset to that side of their lives. So with a deep sigh that caused Michelle to raise an eyebrow in his direction, he looked over at her and nodded his head. “I'll fix it.”

•••

It still took longer for him to get anything out of MJ about where you were. Class didn't start for another half hour, so that gave him enough time to get there, tell you who he was talk to you, and hopefully come out being friends without anything else going wrong.

Once Peter made it to your location, he stopped and caught his breath as he stood before the closed door. Through the small window all he could see was an empty chemistry classroom save for your figure hunched over an open textbook and several types of equipment. He didn't move, only started to overthink. Each and every possible scenario that could happen roamed around in his mind as if they were regular memories. You could be in awe or shock. You could love the fact that your friend is a superhero. You could get upset because he didn't tell you and he really did lie during all the incidents that had happened. You could even stop speaking to him as a whole because of how big a secret it was without you even knowing. It all kept him in place and frozen in anxiety.

Any confidence the teenager had faded away in an instant when you noticed the unmoving person on the other side of the door and raised an eyebrow. With a slow wave and confused expression, all he could do was give you the same gesture with a nervous grin to match the way he was feeling. He continued to look between you, the doorknob, and down both ends of the hall before catching a glimpse of you starting to speak. Your voice was muffled, but he was able to hear it well enough to know what you were saying. “Are you coming in or not?”

“Oh! Uh, yeah.” Peter nodded his head, but still didn't move an inch. He tried to build his confidence back up as much as possible, which only confused you as the only thing you saw in that moment was him closing his eyes. With a deep breath on his end and a shrug on yours before you went back to work, he opened the door and walked through, making sure to close it behind him. He made his way over to the desk you were hunched over, not surprised when you didn't make any movements to properly acknowledge him. “So... hi.”

“Hi.” It was silent for a few seconds, but those seconds felt like forever to the boy with another identity. He just wanted to blurt it out, but he knew that with the amount of distance this has caused, it wouldn't help soothe the result of telling you.

“What are you doing?”

You looked up at him. “My grade is still slipping, so Mrs. Simms gave me an independent project.”

His ears perked up at the sound of an opportunity presenting itself to him. Maybe if I help her she'll be more relaxed! Peter moved himself to the other side of the surface so he was right beside you. His eyes scanned the contents of the book. “What do you need to do?”

“Um..” You stared at him while he continued to flip through pages of the section the textbook was open to. It was obvious you weren't too keen on speaking with him, as that seemed to have been the way of the world the past few weeks anyway. Yet here he was, wanting to stay and likely help out despite the weird tension around you two lately. “Just to create something new? I don't know. She seems to think I have this huge potential.”

“You do.” He looked at you, bent over the equipment and chemicals placed around the lab bench. The expression on your face was neutral, but he knew just how much pressure you felt, and it weighed on him. He was part of any stress you were having. From unintentionally neglecting the friendship to showing up as Spider-Man and implying they couldn't be friends to you knowing he was keeping something from you. Not to mention the pair of you were usually science buddies, which was partially why you did so well. Since the internship began, there was no time to study or work on an assignment together outside of class, so there was a fair chance that discouraged you from trying harder on your own.

You chuckled and stood straight, “I'm glad one of us thinks so." Your gaze traveled back to Peter's to find him already looking at you. Despite the drama that's gone on for weeks now, the crush you had on him never went away. However, you were still frustrated with the main issue of things being kept from you even with the several, weird Spider-Man situations going on. “Anyway—what is it that you needed?”

It seemed like you spooked him when his eyes widened, but really he just nearly forgot the actual reason he went looking for you in the first place. “O-oh, yeah. Um. I wanted to talk about what happened on Friday.”

It was quiet for a moment, then— ��Okay, so talk.” You moved to another desk and used the surface to pull yourself up so you could sit on it.

Peter turned enough for him to face you fully, the nerves making their appearance again when he realized he was about to expose himself as the neighborhood's hero. There was no easy way to tell someone that you were the guy in red and blue swinging around and shooting spider webs at bad guys. Especially when that someone was important to you. Even with the amount of anxiety the current predicament gave him, he just wanted to get it all out. He took in a large breath, and opened his mouth. “I'm Spider-Man and I really hope you aren't angry but I swear the only reason I didn't tell you was because I wanted you to be safe so I'm really really sorry for everything but please don't hate me.”

The words tumbled out like a tsunami. Somehow you were able to catch each and every word in his rapid vent, and it only made your own breath hitch in your throat. It all made sense to you now. He wasn't just “friends” with the suit clad hero who saved your life, he was that hero. That was why he had Ned try and give the spider boy a bad name at lunch. That was why he was always late to hangouts or missed them entirely. Why he didn't have time for you guys after school. He was off doing brave and heroic things to keep Queens and other cities as safe as he could. Though, it also meant he was the one who came to you that night and—behind the mask—told you you couldn't like him or be friends with him. You even asked him after that night if he knew anything and he denied it when it was clear he was the only choice for how the hero knew that information. He wanted you to be safe, but was it really so dangerous when you were best friends with him?

#marvel #marvel fandom #peter parker #tom holland #spiderman #spiderman homecoming #hollander #marvel fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #reader insert #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #fanfiction #mcu #peter parker au #tom holland au #fandom

[inevitably-johnlocked]

LOVE YOUR BLOG!

Hi Nonny!!

Thank you! I’m glad you’re enjoying my blog!!! You’re in luck, because I LOVE LOVE LOVE slow burn fics!!! First, let me direct you to this post here, where I have a list of Platonics, Fluff, and Bedsharing fics! You also might enjoy my MONSTROUS Pining Sherlock Fic Rec List, because it’s also one of my all-time fave tropes. And my Epistolary / Texting / Letters Fic Recs! (there, I think I got all of the ones I was thinking of)

Next, you can check out ALL my fic recs on this masterpage here, in case I missed any! It’s updated every time the third reblog of the post hits my dash! :)

Finally, I shall take this opportunity to share one of the two last sections I have collected on my offline document of the fluff fics :) (I’ll share the last one when someone unknowingly brings it up, LOL. ‘Cause I’m a jerk like that, LOL.)

You’re lucky that I LOVE SLOW BURN FICS, especially fluffy ones (I also have an angst slow burn list but I’ll save that for one of the MANY angst requests I got!) HERE WE ARE! This is byfar not all I have, but just currently all I have sorted so far! I have SO MANY and am still working through my bookmarks, LOL! Hope you enjoy!

LOVE CONFESSIONS / SLOW BURN / DEVELOPING REL.

New Year, New Beginning by DaisyFairy (T, 810 w. || New Year’s Eve, John POV, Post S4, Friends to Lovers) – New Year at a crime scene and John makes a decision.

Ex by Itsallfine (T, 1,248 w. || Love Confessions, Coming Out, Exes, First Kiss) – One night, in the midst of their post-case high and on the cusp of something more, John and Sherlock run into John’s ex. His ex-boyfriend.

There’s Always Three of Us by Itsallfine (T, 1,765 w. || Post-S4, Parentlock, Love Declarations, First Kiss, Anniversary, S4 Fix it Fic, Fluff) – Sherlock takes John and Rosie out to Angelo’s and gets a chance to correct the biggest mistake of his life.

Want by siennna (T, 1,806 w. || Fluff, Pining, First Kiss, POV Sherlock, Requited, Second Person POV) – When John speaks, you hear more than words. You hear the rise and fall of his tone, the comfortable quake of his laughter, the warm pauses of silence in between. When John laughs, there are stars glittering on his tongue and galaxies resting just behind his teeth, and you wish you could press your lips there and burrow into the warm sound. Part 6 of sienna’s favourites

The Marriage Proposal Negotiation by Goddess_of_the_Night (G, 2,161 w. || Dev. Rel., Possessive Sherlock, Insecure Sherlock, Fluff, First Kiss, Post Mary) – Sherlock hasn’t ever really done anything the traditional way, so of course it wouldn’t bother him to propose to John even though they’re not even dating. And the fact that John is already on a date with someone else when he decides to do it? Tedious.

Moonlight by ConsultingPurplePants (E, 2,213 w. || First Time, Scars, Camping, Sherlock’s Bum) – Sherlock is standing near the door, wearing, for what John thinks may be the first time in their acquaintance, jeans and a jumper. John drags his eyes away from the way the jeans cling to Sherlock’s just-muscled-enough legs to notice that Sherlock is wearing his own backpack, and is also carrying a collapsed tent. John’s jaw drops open. Is he about to go camping with Sherlock Holmes!?

The Case of the Made-Up Case by DoubleNegative (T, 2,394 || Fake Relationship, Clubbing, First Kiss, For Science) - Sherlock takes John to a club. For a “case.” Yes, John, a case. Part 1 of The (Secret) Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

No Strings Attached by Elster (G, 2,714 w. || Magical Realism, Fairy Tales, Love Confessions, Fae/Faeries) – To save John from being spirited away Under the Hill, Sherlock challenges the fairy queen to a fiddle contest.

What He’s Like by magikspell (E, 2,919 w. || Love Confessions, Fluff, First Time, Inexperienced Sherlock) – Realistic first time. They love each other so much.

Right Foot Red by Irrevocably_Sherlocked (E, 3,089 w. || First Time, Board Games, Frottage, Masturbation, Frottage, PWP) – …ok, it’s juvenile, but at least it’s a game where touching is allowed. And if something more were to happen, well, John can’t say he’d be too upset about that. “What are the rules of this game?” Sherlock asks, the disdain evident on the word ‘game’. “I spin, you do as I say.” John thinks he sees a slight widening of those pale grey eyes at that, just for a fraction of a second, before it is shut down. Oh, this is interesting, he thinks.

Affirmation by jamlockk (E, 3,096 w. || First Time, Dev. Rel., PWP, Love Declarations, Emotional Sherlock, Comforting John, Gross Fluff) – “Sunlight dappled John’s skin, casting a glow across his spreadeagled form as he dozed among the rumpled sheets. Sherlock knew the expression on his face was hopelessly soft but for once did not care about showing his true feelings so openly. He simply stood there, in the doorway, gazing at the impossibly beautiful man currently snuffling softly in his slumber.” Part 8 of All the ways we love

It Wasn’t Just the Mistletoe by Irrevocably_Sherlocked (E, 3,593 w. || Christmas Fluff, Mistletoe, First Kiss / Time, Frottage, Masturbation) – Sherlock and John just stood there, seemingly frozen. Sherlock was desperately trying to think of a way out of this. There was no way he could kiss John, even a small kiss, and not have him know immediately how he felt. Sherlock could lie, and fake and sham, but there was no way he could hide this.

Christmas at Holmes Cottage by johnlockedstarkid (G, 4,295 w. || Christmas, Fake Relationship, Love Confessions, Holmes Family, Pining, Kisses, Fluff, Allusions to Mystrade) – Sherlock doesn’t want to have to deal with his mother’s wishes for him to find a partner when he goes to visit them for Christmas, so asks John to pose as his boyfriend. Little does he know he’s not the only one who wishes that the relationship could be real.

Forty-four by jamlockk (E, 4,415 w. || John’s Birthday, Fluff, PWP) – John turns forty-four, gets some advice and the best birthday present he could’ve ever hoped for.

How Will I Know? by eragon19 (E, 4,895 w. || Pining, Love Confessions, POV Sherlock, Fluff, Sherlock’s Imagination, Papa Lestrade) – Here was the problem: Sherlock Holmes was completely and irrevocably in love with John Watson, and he had absolutely no idea how to tell him.

Sociopathy and Other Fibs by kinklock (M, 5,314 w. || 5+1, Miscommunication, Humour, Friends to Lovers, Post S3, Love Confessions) – Five times John called Sherlock out, and one time Sherlock returned the favour.

Tease You Till You Come by phoenix089 (E, 6,090 w. || First Time, Clueless Sherlock, Texting) – Initially, Sherlock was rather put out by John’s lack of presence on the case. But then he starts to recieve pictures, several of them, of an unexpected nature. The case is forgotten rather quickly after that.

Closeted by sussexbound (T, 6,115 w. || Love Confession, First Kiss, Games) – Sherlock and John get trapped in a closet while on a case. Some revelations are made while they play a game to pass the time. Part 1 of Intimacy

Naked by sussexbound (E, 6,166 w. || Fluff, Frottage, Love Declarations, First Time, Intimacy) – This is the sequel to Closeted and MUST be read. It’s so good! Sherlock is soft and clueless and John is just John. Part 2 of Intimacy

Onomatopoeia by aquabelacqua (M, 6,904 w. || First Time/Kiss, Frottage, Dirty Talk, Domestics, Word Kink) – Something is the matter with John. Sherlock is determined to figure out what it is. Mark his words.

What Meets the Eye by worldaccordingtofangirls (M, 8,251 w. || Amnesia, Fluff) – Amnesia is just another case to solve. Piece together unfamiliar faces, reconstruct the old identity, the lost reality. A challenge that Sherlock could even enjoy. He can read people like books. The man with the silver hair is his boss. The tottering old woman, his landlady. The girl with the worried look in her eyes…infatuated. And as for John Watson? His husband. Obviously.

The Thin Line by Odamaki (M, 10,809 w. || Virgin Sherlock, Awkwardness, Confessions, First Times, Anal) – John swallows. Keeps his eyes on Sherlock. Begs him not to ruin him.Sherlock leans forward over the witness box ever-so slightly, “I was distracted,” he informs the court, “by my partner, John Watson.”

Iris by slashscribe (E, 11,948 w. | Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Post-S3) – Sherlock does his best to make John happy when John comes back to 221B with his new baby after the events of Season 3, but Sherlock has a track record of getting things wrong in this area. This story is an exploration of their gradual shift from friends to lovers, told from Sherlock’s perspective, full of a lot of pining and lack of emotional awareness.

Speaker for the Bees by antietamfalls (M, 14,649 w. || Deaf Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Fluff, Sign Language) – It isn’t always easy assisting a deaf detective. Luckily for John, they make a pretty good team.

A Silver Sixpence by doodle (E , 16,400 w. || LIVEJOURNAL || Fake Relationship, Fake Marriage, Case Fic, ) - John and Sherlock have to get married for a case, and learn some things about each other. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this story, though it’s on LJ.

At the Edge of Desire by philalethia (E, 16,375 w. || Post S3, Pining, Arse Worship, Humour, First Kiss / TIme, Sexual Fantasy, Awkwardness) – While helping John move back in to the flat, Sherlock discovers a strap-on among John’s things. He finds the discovery considerably difficult to move past.

The Effect of Memory by testosterone_tea (E, 6,430 || Praise Kink, First Kiss / Time, Fluff, Smut, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Confused Sherlock) – John has temporary amnesia coming off of anaesthesia after an operation and not only does he not recognize Sherlock, he starts flirting with him! After John recovers, he doesn’t remember the incident at all. But Sherlock does. Confusion ensues.

Tap by doctorcaseyholmes (G, 896w || Fluff, Morse Code) – Sherlock finds an unobtrusive way to let out his feelings for John.

A Need To Know Basis by mattsloved1 (G, 934 w. || Humour, Romance) – As the cab door shut firmly, the DI had yelled out they were to make an appearance at Scotland Yard the next day. It was while John watched London pass by that it happened.

BBCSH ‘How To Save A Life’ by tigersilver (T, 2,784 w. || First Kiss, Angsty Schmoop, Requited Love) – Pining, requited, and unabated spates of ‘first kiss’ fluff. Post Mary, AU, mildly cracky. John lays a smooch on Sherlock’s nape in passing. The world does that thing it does when it wobbles and Sherlock practically falls off his own pins. Part 1 of 'How To…’

A Bit of Indulgence by beltainefaerie (NR | 3,364 w. || Fake/Pretend Relationship, Developing Relationship, Love Declarations) - A case leads John and Sherlock to fake being boyfriends and John runs into an old acquaintance.

Once is Enough by Jominerva for inkandsoul (T, 3,030 w. || Love Confessions, Domestic Fluff, Whump) – Just as the earth rises to meet the sun at every mountain crest, John reaches out for Sherlock and takes his hand in his own.“Tell me it won’t end like this,” he says, blue eyes holding grey while he laces their fingers together. Sherlock lets out a shaky laugh and shakes his head. “I wish I could.”

A Lifetime Together by LondonGypsy (M, 8,886 w. || Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Falling in Love, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Pining Idiots, Alternating POVs, Domestics, Retirement) – John and Sherlock falling in love.

The Newlywed Game: Johnlock Edition by patternofdefiance (E, 9,020 w. || Fake Relationship, Fake Marriage, Friends to Lovers, Humour, Romance, Smut, Case Fic, Self-Esteem Issues) – John and Sherlock pretend to be married in order to be contestants in a Newlywed Game. Of course it’s for a case. Of course it doesn’t stay that way. Part 8 of I Blame Tumblr

Merlot by Itsallfine (E, 14,844 w. || Christmas, Pining Sherlock, Wine, Slow Burn, First Kiss / Time, Love Confessions, Wine, Holmes Family) – Sherlock and John work toward becoming something more as they prepare to host the Holmes parents at 221B for the holidays. Part of 25 Days of Fic-Mas 2015.

Twelfth Night by yourdykeinshiningarmor (E, 15,139 w. || Friends to Lovers, Fake Rel., Fluff and Angst, Mutual Pining) - John is invited to his aunt’s Twelfth Night ball. Sherlock offers to attend with him as a friendly face among strangers, but John’s family force him to address his true feelings for Sherlock. [[this one is cute]]

About Sleep and Coffee and the Existence of Fate by Atiki (E, 17,426 w. || Fluff, Marriage Proposal, Humour, 5+1) – Naturally, John was startled when suddenly the ultimate solution occurred to him: Marriage. This was, of course, a bit of a fundamental problem rather than an actual solution. One didn’t simply use the words “Sherlock” and “marriage” within the same sentence. Not even in a hypothetical context. Five times John kind of wanted to propose to Sherlock, and one time he didn’t have to.

Once More, With Feeling by cellard00rs (T, 21,178 w. || John’s Family, Fake Relationship, Romance, Fluff, Humour) – To put off his meddlesome, matchmaking mother, John convinces Sherlock to play the role of his significant other. Unparalleled awkwardness ensues.

The Norwood Love Builders by flawedamythyst (T, 47,798 w. || Fake Relationship, Slow Burn, Post TRF Angst) – Sherlock and John go undercover to solve the murder of Joanna Oldacre, but things are complicated by the many feelings John has been repressing in the wake of Sherlock’s faked death and return.

No Good Without You by textsandscones (T, 4021 w. || Case Fic, Busking, Violins, Fluff) – A diverting new case surrounding musicians and stolen instruments captures Sherlock’s attention, the consequences of which lead both detective and doctor to see one another in a different light. Part 1 of Prompt Fills

The Importance of Torn Papers by MyLittleCornerOfSherlock (G, 2427 w || Pre-Slash, Love Declarations, Fluff) – Little things make a big difference, even little notes of thanks. Small reminders to show he cares.

Laid Bare by esplanade (T, 6529 w. || Romance, Fluff, Pining, Angst) – “I suppose it comes as no surprise that I always rather detested grand romantic gestures. They struck me as unnecessary and contrived, feeble attempts at desperately holding together relationships, most of which should have been allowed to fall apart.”

Law of Reciprocals by thequeergiraffe (T, 4377 w. || Fluff, Angst) – “Law of Reciprocals, is it? You’ve saved my life enough times. I figure, turnabout’s fair play.” Sherlock finds ways to reciprocate his appreciation of John.

Pleasure to Burn by scullyseviltwin (E, 17,863 w. || Firefighter AU, Firefighter John / Arson Investigator Sherlock, Slow Burn, Pining, Case Fic-ish) – “If you’d kindly stop knocking about in there and destroying all of my evidence, it would be most appreciated!” John groaned and for a moment rested his head against the side of the truck. Of course he was the only captain left on the scene, which meant he would have to be the one to deal with the arson investigator.

A Life Well-Lived by Kate_Lear (E, 20,121 w. || Original Male Character, Sherlock Woos John, Jealous Sherlock, Reluctant Bi-John) – John got scared off men by an abusive past relationship. Sherlock has to try and woo him while not scaring him off with protective possessive rage.

“finally kiss the bloody idiot” by Salambo06 (E, 29,812 w. || Mutual Pining, Declarations of Love, First Kiss / Time, Angst, Misunderstandings, Fantasies POV John) – Inspired by a fic idea on tumblr : “John and Sherlock know the Yard has a pool going for when they’re finally going to get together. It’s been running forever, and it’s worth thousands of pounds. It’s all fun and games, hahaha, until they find out Lestrade is in dire financial straits (dog needs emergency surgery, he’s putting his kid through gymnastics training, I don’t know, something), and they decide to fake a relationship to win the pool for him. Sherlock figures out the day and way that Lestrade thinks it’s going to happen, and they act it out. It’s all for a good cause, fake relationship style, until it’s not.” Part 1 of The Pool

Hitting the Water at Sixty Miles an Hour by what_alchemy (E, 30,568 w. || Fake Rel., Roadtrips, Slow Burn) – “You love your mother, Sherlock?” John watched the muscles in Sherlock’s jaw jump. He nodded in one sharp jerk.“Then we’re going to her party and making her happy.” John let out a resigned sigh. “As a ruddy couple, you bastard.”

A Study In Auto-Signatures, Sniper Dolphins, and Sex Holidays by cwb (E, 32,690 w. || Case Fic, Post S3, Evil Mary, Dev. Rel., Honeymoon, Epistolary, Bottomlock, First Kiss / Time, Fluff, Secret Agents, BAMF!John) – John and Mary go on their sex holiday, and Sherlock is grumpy and pining about it. Part 1 of HOT DOLPHIN SEX

Bedtime Stories by Liketheriver (M, 34,388 w. || Emotional H/C, Romance, Angst & Humour, Bed Sharing, John First Person, TRF, John Whump) – John’s POV during Season 2 and beyond when Sherlock takes up semi-permanent residence in his bed. A collection of codas and missing scenes wrapped up into one long fic and topped with a bow that takes the story beyond Reichenbach and into happy territory once more. Part 1 of Bedtime Universe

LHR-HNL by scullyseviltwin (E, 35,066 w. || Hawaiian Vacation, Post-TRF, Friends To Lovers, Slow Burn, Just Talk Already, Drinking, Mutual Pining) – In need of an endangered flora sample, Sherlock and John must make a trip to an unexpected destination.

once upon a time by darcylindbergh (M, 6,501 w. || Fluff and Angst, First Kiss / Time, Love Declarations, Christmas) – It starts with a wish. In the beginning, John comes home. Part 1 of things fairy tales are made of

The Newlywed Game: Johnlock Edition by patternofdefiance (E, 9020 w. || Fake Rel., Friends to Lovers, Humour, Romance, Smut) – What it says on the tin: John and Sherlock pretend to be married in order to be contestants in a Newlywed Game. Of course it’s for a case. Of course it doesn’t stay that way. Part 8 of I Blame Tumblr

Turbulence in the Sky by esplanade (T, Fluff, Pining, Anxious Sherlock, Love Confessions) – “But some things needed to stay secret. Or at least, that was what he told himself every time he lost his nerve.”

You fit me, Sherlock Holmes by orphan_account (G, 10,077 w. || Fluff, Slow Burn, Idiots in Love, Experiments) – An unfortunate series of events leads to John accepting being a part of Sherlock’s study in physical intimacy. As the days pass by, John realizes he might be in for more than he bargained for. He doesn’t entirely mind.

Bread and Wine and Curry Once a Week by cwb (E, 8737 w. || Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Stroppy Sherlock, Love Letters, POV John) – Sherlock asks John for relationship advice. Little does he know that it’s him that Sherlock is in love with.

Correspondence by Cleo2010 (T, 8,031 w. || Letters, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, Pining) – Sherlock’s been spirited away on a case for Mycroft. Part of the deal was that he and John could communicate via letter until the case was completed. Maybe the cliche is true, absence does make the heart grow fonder. Or perhaps something is growing on the feet in the fridge.Read their letters month by month. Written after series one.

Turn the key, and come home by TooManyChoices (M, 2,718 w. || Angst/Humour, First Time/Kiss, Happy Ending) – Sherlock and John have been dancing around what’s between them for years. Will John return to Baker Street, and if so, will things ever be the same?

Overture by Kate_Lear for fengirl88 (M, 4,435 w. || Friends to Lovers, First Time) – A short snippet on how John and Sherlock might have got together.

Acceptable Behaviour by bbcatemysoul (M, 3449 w. || Fluff, Dev. Rel., Miscommunication, First Time) – Sherlock isn’t really sure why John wants to shag him, but he’s certain that if he’s careful to behave properly about it, John can be persuaded to keep doing it. In other news, John is a good boyfriend and Sherlock is an idiot.

First Night Out by verityburns (M, 3251 w. || Romance, Christmas, Dev. Rel.) – As John recovers from the effects of a brutal kidnapping, he and Sherlock attend the Yarders’ Christmas Party. There are… developments on the dance floor…

Confessions by crimsonwinter (T, 4711 w. || Love Confessions, Fluff) – John and Sherlock finally confess their love for each other.

that thing you like by misspamela (E, 7165 w. || Holmes Family, Fake Relationship, Friends to Lovers) – “Happy Christmas, etc. etc.” Sherlock and John go to the Holmes’ for Christmas, and everyone thinks they’re together.

Their Great Reward by BeautifulFiction (T, 10,095 w. || UST, First Kiss, Fluff) – Boxing day, in John’s opinions, is the worst day of the year. Christmas is over, the tree is wilting and stripped of gifts, and there’s a week of dead-time until the clean slate of the new year. However the combination of a blizzard, a power-cut and Sherlock might just make it a day to remember.

Matters of National Security by mistyzeo (E, 8465 w. || Jealous Sherlock, First Time, RST, Idiots in Love, Frottage) – John starts dating a male client of Sherlock’s, and Sherlock can’t figure out why he’s so incensed about it.

Paparazzi by SilentAuror (E, 10,543 w. || Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Post S3) – John moves back into 221B Baker Street after his marriage falls apart and the paparazzi won’t leave him and Sherlock alone about the status of their supposed relationship. Sherlock, of course, never denies it, until one day he does…

At the Heart of it All by SilentAuror (E, 19,812 w. || Virgin Sherlock, Post S3, POV John, Domestics, First Time, Kissing, Romance) – John has been back at Baker Street for four months now and thinks it’s about time they had the Talk to see whether or not they could be more than friends. Sherlock has a lot of uncertainty about this concept for multiple reasons. Unabashed romance.

Hallowed Eve by EventHorizon (T, 14,750 w. || First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Halloween) – It probably wasn’t the smartest idea to let Sherlock choose the costumes for Halloween, but John never considered himself the smartest man in the room, anyway.

Once More, With Feeling by cellard00rs (T, 21,178 w. || Humour, Romance, Fluff, Fake Rel.) - To put off his meddlesome, matchmaking mother, John convinces Sherlock to play the role of his significant other. Unparalleled awkwardness ensues. [[nice amount of fluff and pining!]]

Brief Conversations with the Woman by May_Shepard (E, 21,906 w. || Pining, Love Fairy Irene, Filler Fic, UST/URT, Drug Use, Clueless Sherlock, Relationship Advice, Angst w/ Happy Ending) – Sherlock has a puzzle to solve, and his name is John Watson.

Tomorrow’s Song by agirlsname (M, 24,645 w. || Post-TRF, POV Sherlock, Angst with a Happy Ending, Virgin / Repressed Sherlock, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Pining) – How can he think a relationship with me would be a good idea? I am the sort of person to take a break from my life and when I come back after two years, I expect to find it exactly as I left it. In reality I find it shattered to pieces. (I actually equate you with my life. When did I start doing that?)

State of Flux by Atiki (E, 24,655 w. || Sherlock POV, Slow Burn, First Kiss/Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Cuddles and Snuggles, Awkwardness, Insecure/Virgin Sherlock, Romance) – John’s marriage is over and he is finally back home (i.e. at Baker Street, where he belongs). Sherlock is awfully insecure and John is awfully hesitant, and they’re both awkward idiots, of course, but they figure it out. Many First Times happen.

Don’t Leave Anything Out by lookupkate (E, 27,422w. || Epistolary, Falling in Love, Misunderstandings, Alternate First Meeting) – The first letter John writes home from Afghanistan is meant to go to a woman he went on only one date with. How it ends up in Sherlock’s hands is completely innocent. What happens next is not. What do you do when you find out the person you’re in love with has been lying about something as monumental as who they are? What do you do when you’re the one who lied? How on earth do you put the pieces back together?

Hitting the Water at Sixty Miles an Hour by what_alchemy (E, 30,568 w. || Road Trips, Fake Rel., Family) “You love your mother, Sherlock?”John watched the muscles in Sherlock’s jaw jump. He nodded in one sharp jerk. “Then we’re going to her party and making her happy.” John let out a resigned sigh. “As a ruddy couple, you bastard.” (FAVE!)

The Sum of His Parts by CommonNonsense (T, 4,311 w. || Body Worship, First Kiss / Time) – There are eleven major organ systems in the human body. Sherlock knows about all of them to some degree, but none fascinate him as much as the ones that make up John Watson.

The Detective and the Pin-Up by XistentialAngst (T, 15,683 w. || Romance, Humour, First Time/Kiss) – Sally Donovan discovers an old secret John Watson considered long buried - a ten-year old “Men of the Armed Forces” calendar, which has John as a very enticing pin-up for August. The image of John might just change the way everyone sees the unassuming sidekick, even Sherlock Holmes.

Unwasted by patternofdefiance (E, 8,966 w. || First Time, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Dev. Rel. Smut) – John finds it three months after he’s moved back.He’s on the hunt for something to make for dinner, is scrounging through the cupboards, when he happens upon the graveyard of pasta boxes Sherlock still seems to create when left to his own devices. Behind seven boxes of pasta, all almost completely empty, is a dark-glassed bottle, with a paler coat of dust. It’s unopened. John’s face falls slack when he sees it, instantly recognises it, and for a long moment he just stands and looks at it.

Wars We Fought, Things We’re Not by blueink3 (M, 55,204 w. || Parentlock, Fluff & Angst, Kidnapping, Whump, Post-TAB, UST, Slow Burn, Couple for a Case) –  Five months after John’s world has fallen apart, Mycroft sends the consulting detective and his doctor on a case that neither is prepared for.

The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E, 44,025 w. || Post-TRF, Case Fic, UST, Homophobia, Friends to Lovers) – Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants in the course of a case.

Anytime by SilentAuror (E, 17,995 w. || UST, Porn With Feels, POV Sherlock, Romance, UST/URT, Happy Ending, Drunken Endeavors) – Sherlock blinks and attempts to focus. There is a little too much vodka in his veins at the moment and it’s having an unfortunate effect on his brain and retinas both. There are two Johns sitting across from him, and both of them are frowning at him.“You’re drunk,” the Johns tell him. Sherlock blinks some more. “Says the man with Mrs Hudson’s doily on his head.”

John Watson doesn’t have a Boyfriend by naughtyspirit (E, 18,932 w. || UST / URT, Fluff & Smut, Voyeurism, Masturbation) – John’s date has gone very well. Sherlock requires tea. John wishes he hadn’t resolved that their relationship was strictly hands off and isn’t about to address it.Unless he has to. Smut, fluff and shower time for a naked John Watson.

Just a Kiss by emmagrant01 (E, 19,695 w. || Case Fic, 5+1, For a Case) – Five times John and Sherlock kissed because of a case and one time they kissed for real. (Chapter 7 is the one you want :D)

You Can Imagine the Christmas Dinners by ardenteurophile  (T, 23,584 w. || Humour, Romance, Drama, Fluff & Angst) Sherlock takes John along for Christmas dinner with Mycroft and Mummy (And “Anthea”, too). Over the course of the evening, John realises that everyone in the room - apart from him - seems to think that he and Sherlock are a couple. Part 2 of Xmas Dinners Verse (I LOVE THIS ONE)

Bedroom Tales by Junejuly15 (M, 49,950 w. || Friends to Lovers, Through the Years, H/C, Military Kink, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Insecure Sherlock, Voyeurism, Post-TRF, Ficlets, Fluff and Angst, Fix-It Fics) – Bedroom Tales is a collection of John and Sherlock ficletsThey are set at various stages of their relationship and are in no particular order. Some are fluffy, some sexy, some angsty, there is hurt and comfort, romance and love. What unites them is that they all play in a bedroom, but not necessarily the one in 221B.

John Watson’s Twelve Days of Christmas by earlgreytea68 (M, 53,464 w. || Christmas, Holmes Family, Fake Relationship, Alternate First Meeting, Falling in Love, Fluff and Angst, Hardcore Pining) – It’s the holiday season. John Watson needs money. Sherlock Holmes needs something else.

Uphill by scullyseviltwin (E, 77,750 w. || Olympics AU || Sherlock POV, Skier!Sherlock / Medic!John, Rivalry, 2014 Olympics, Happy Ending) – Sherlock Holmes is striving for gold in this, his fourth and final Olympics as a downhill Alpine racer.

Definitions by siennna (T, 101,528 w. || Dev. Rel., Pining, Fluff and Romance, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Fluff, Cuddles) – Sherlock’s journey in defining his flat mate and stumbling through the muddled world of emotion.{{This feels complete; the chapter count is listed as ? but I feel like it is done}}

between each beat are words unsaid by darcylindbergh, hudders-and-hiddles (T, 107,998 w. || Epistolary, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Angst, Happy Ending) – On their wedding night, John and Sherlock gift each other with the things they each said when the other could not hear, the things they each put down where the other could not see: a collection of writings that illustrate the way their love for one another has grown over the years. Part 1 of between each beat

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #fluff fics #slow burn #GIVE ME ALL THE BURN #Anonymous

[death-selfie]

Put Your Head On My Shoulder

Chapter 2: Maybe You And I Will Fall In Love

When I woke up, my first thought was of Gerard, the hippie I met last night. Immediately, I felt regret. I know I shouldn't be thinking of someone else when I'm perfectly happy in my current relationship, especially a man. I can't help myself though. What I felt in that one conversation was almost everything I was missing in my daily interactions with other people. He seemed genuinely interested, and no one has been that interested in me since Jamia and Bennie.

Gerard was the main thing running around in my mind while I did my usual morning routine. The thing was though was that it didn't bother me one bit. I was perfectly happy thinking of him all morning. The smallest things that reminded me of him, like my pomade, made me smile. There was something about Gerard that put me at ease. I knew that I needed to see him today, even if it's only for a minute or less. I even dressed nicer than I usually do. The main reason is because of the dance Jamia and I are going to later this evening. The other reason is because of Gerard. I want to look nice for him, and I'm hoping that he will dress as nicely as I imagined last night. My mind can only wonder.

I headed down the street in the same direction as Gerard went last night. Anxiously, I looked down both sides of the street as if he could pop out at any moment now. I don't know why I was so anxious. Gerard could just see me as a friend after all, and I would be the fool rushing into this. I walked into town, but still no sign of Gerard. Where would a New Jersey hippie go at 10 am?

That's when I came upon a roadside flower shop. Gerard was slightly leaning over a section of pansies with a judgemental look on his face. At this moment, I could've sworn my heart went off on a highspeed chase then. I smiled softly to myself and with a skip in my step, I approached him. "The fact that I find the likes of you by a flower shop," I smirked.

Gerard looked up now. I could tell he was a little surprised by the greeting. Now he smiled at me. "What can I say? Flowers are beautiful specimens!" He chirped, plucking a flower out to inspect it. "Like this one! Pretty little petals, hm?" He held it out to me now. The pansy he picked had dark violet petals with a bold black center. I smiled. "Pretty."

Gerard smiled softly at my response, which set my heart on another chase. Now he tucked the pansy back with the rest. "What flowers would work for uh...what're those things called? Corsages?" He sniffed as he swept his gaze over the variety of flower breeds presented in front of him.

"Why do you need a corsage?" I asked, genuinely curious. This provoked Gerard to look at me with a serious look in his hazel eyes.

"Isn't there a dance tonight?"

Now I stared at Gerard. How did he know about the dance? Did I say something about it last night? "There is--"

"Aha! Do you think you could take me to the dance? I dropped out of high school before I could attend those silly things," Gerard interrupted. He bit his lip and tucked some of his long hair behind his ears. "Y'see, I never had anyone to go with, but now that I've...met you, I thought you'd take me."

I looked at Gerard blankly. Oh, he's not going to like the news I'm going to tell him. "I'm already going with someone, Gerard." His face told me everything he was feeling. That was enough to make me feel terrible. "But if you'd like to catch up after the dance, we can."

Gerard shook his head. "It's fine," He muttered. "You can spend the night with them."

"It's not 'fine,'" I protested. I took a step closer to him and spoke in a quieter tone before anyone could catch on to our conversation. "I would like to take you to the dance, but I don't think they'd let you in. The school, I mean."

Gerard waved me off. "Yeah, yeah, I know that. As I said, it's fine." He let out a sigh now and took a step back. "Look, I'm gonna go. See ya around, Frankie."

I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and stop Gerard from walking further away from me, but he was already a half-block away. My heart sunk. There is nothing else I could do. I wasn't sure if I'd see him again. Was this the end? This can't be...

--

At seven sharp, I was at Jamia's front door as I had promised her. Behind my back was a bouquet of flowers that I picked out at the flower shop earlier in the day. I also bought a corsage, or two. I was still hopeful to see Gerard tonight, and I hope that I could make it up to him by giving him the corsage he wanted. I waited for about a half minute until the door finally opened to reveal Jamia. The sight of her in the dress she wore nearly took my breath away. The dress hugged her slim torso and at the waistline, it flared out slightly. It was made of the prettiest pastel pinks. The skirt of the dress donned a lacey pattern. The dress wasn't the only thing making Jamia stunning, it was also her makeup. It was as if the best artist in the world did her makeup. It appeared natural and minimal, and she was wearing a lipstick shade that complimented her dress.

"Well, say something!" Jamia giggled softly. She performed a little twirl for me, and I smiled. "You look amazing, Jamia," I whispered. I held a hand out to her now, and once she took my hand I revealed the flowers I held behind my back. Jamia let out a slight gasp. "Oh, Frankie, they're stunning!" She placed a delicate kiss on my cheek before gently taking the flowers. She handled them with such great care I almost believed she thought that she'd break them. 

The rest of the night went as I imagined. Jamia and I met up with our cliques and our friends alike at the dance, and we both had the night of our lives dancing on the open floor in the school gymnasium. The live band that played for the dance was absolutely amazing. They played all of the greatest and popular songs that matched the mood of the evening. Everything from the dance to the food made our special night spectacular, but all night I couldn't stop thinking of Gerard. I was constantly wondering if he was alright, and where I might find him tonight...

--

As the night grew older, the students slowly began to leave the dance. My group also lowered in numbers. Soon, it was about me and Jamia's time to leave, so I hooked arms with her and lead her outside to the parking lot. However, when we neared my car, I could see someone off in the grass dancing alone. From where I was, I could barely hear music from the gymnasium so I don't know what that person was dancing to.

During the whole drive to Jamia's home, my mind slowly made the connection that the person swaying alone to no music was most likely Gerard. Was he waiting for me? Did he still want to see me tonight? These questions encouraged my heart to beat fast from excitement. I know it isn't wise to hope so much but I couldn't help myself because just the thought that Gerard could be into me in some way excited me. So shortly after I had kissed Jamia goodnight and watched her walk inside, I sped back to the school as fast as I could. It seems as if luck was on my side tonight because the lonely person was still there. Smiling, I exited my vehicle and approached the dancing figure.

As I guessed, it was Gerard. Before I approached him, he was caught up in his own little world. His own beautiful world. His expression was one of pure carelessness and freedom. He had the softest smile and his eyes were closed in a pleasant way. His movements were intricate and calculated, yet delicate and slow. He wasn't wearing any pants this time. Instead, it was a simple patched skirt. Who knows where he found that old thing. The odd thing about it, though, was that he pulled the raggedy look off well.

"Gerard?"

My words shattered the undisturbed silence. Gerard whirled around to face me, his face full of shock.

"Frank!" He exclaimed, his eyes wide in horror. "You-- You're-- I--"

I could tell he was embarrassed to be caught. I gave him a calm smile. "Relax, you're fine," I said. "You looked beautiful."

Gerard gaped at me for a few seconds before blushing madly. He smiled bashfully now and dipped his head. I took this opportunity to step closer and take his hand. "What do you wanna do tonight? Take me anywhere. I'm all yours." His hazel eyes traveled up to meet mine, and I swear I've never seen them so bright. I went to lean in, but...Gerard seemed to have other ideas. He gripped onto my hand tighter and suddenly began to drag me towards the direction of the football field. Somehow the lights still stayed on, even this late at night. Maybe there were other couples here for obvious reasons.

Gerard let my hand go now and sprinted to the middle of the field. He stretched his arms out to the dark sky and let out a deep breath. "Although I've never been a big sports guy, I do miss the games, the atmosphere," He said. He seemed to be speaking more to himself. After a moment, he turned to face me. "Sucks we don't have any music."

I nodded. Too bad I wasn't much of a musician myself. I took a few steps closer to Gerard. "You really wanna dance, huh?" Well, where could we dance? The school parking lot? No, we'd be caught and that wouldn't be pleasant.

Gerard sighed. "Hm, well, maybe we can just...imagine the music." Now he was the one to take my hand. I observed how he thought through how we would dance. His lips were slightly puckered and his eyes glanced over me about ten times. When he had analyzed everything, he finally took my other hand and closed the remaining space between us. His eyes met mine. "Do you know that song by Paul Anka? It was kinda popular back in my high school days."

"Tch, you make that sound like ages ago, Gerard," I smiled. "Of course I know that song. Put Your Head On My Shoulder, right?" To that, Gerard smiled rather coyly. He didn't say anything in response though. He simply began to hum the familiar tune and soon we were slowly swaying along to it. The two of us were completely absorbed into the dancing, we didn't care to look for anyone watching. To us, we were the only ones on Earth. We were the last remaining people dancing slowly on a football field under bright lights.

As the end of the song neared, we had stopped dancing. I wanted to attempt a kiss again, but I wasn't sure how Gerard would feel about that, and honestly, I wasn't sure how I would feel about it either. Any such homosexual acts are considered taboos... So I ignored the urge for now.

"C'mon, let's go for a stroll," Gerard said suddenly. He let my hands go and began to walk down the football field. He had a cute little skip in his skip, and my heart did not fail to flutter at his actions.

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