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wwilsonbarness · 2 months

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when we get home

pairings: sam wilson x bucky barnes

summary: Bucky opens up to Sam about his past.

warnings: mentions of sexual assault, mention of Bucky’s being held by HYDRA, flufff

word count: 1271

a/n: i’m trying to get back into writing so this isn’t written the best but I really wish we got a conversation like this in the show :(

Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :)

I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.

masterlist

“Are we gonna talk about it?” Sam almost whispers. Not one word had been spoken between them since they arrived at Sharon's safehouse.

Bucky doesn’t move his eyes from his hands where he was playing with his fingers. “Talk about what?”

“You know what.” Bucky takes a deep breath, he wishes he didn’t know. He knows already that him and Sam aren’t really friends, yet something in him feels safe enough to open up to him.

Sam moves closer to Bucky, close enough that their thighs brush together. “Buck..”

Bucky can feel his eyes grow wetter as the flashbacks of his time at Hydra flash through his mind. He turns to Sam and looks into his eyes, they’re full of trust, full of care. “I just.. I haven’t spoken about that with anyone before.”

“Look, you don't have to talk about it.. just know that you can anytime and I’ll listen.”

“You won’t judge me? Or look at me any different?”

Sam shoots Bucky a slight smile. “I promise.”

“I only remember parts.. a lot of my time with Hydra is still full of gaps, it comes back sometimes at random times but I remember..” Bucky pauses for a second and tries to think of a way to word this.

Sam puts his hand on Bucky’s thigh and squeezes slightly. Once his hand makes contact he worries he might have overstepped but Bucky leans into his touch and pushes those concerns away.

“At first when they found me in the snow it wasn’t bad, I honestly felt relieved that I had been found, but then they told me who they were and I knew I wasn’t safe. I noticed too late, there was no way for me to escape. They locked me in a room and left me there for what felt like days. Food and water would appear in my room but I never saw anyone come in or out. I later found out that they would put gas into my room to knock me out.” Bucky feels like he is going off topic but Sam reassures him he’s okay to continue.

“Once they’d gotten in my head with those damn words, they controlled everything I did. They would use me for their missions as you know, but it didn’t stop there. At one point, I don’t even know when but they moved me to a room and it had windows. At first I thought this was a good thing but then I realised they were only one way windows. I couldn’t see out but they could see in.”

Sam didn’t say anything but nodded, urging Bucky to continue.

“They would take turns coming into my room, one at a time but I could hear the others on the other side of the window. They made me do different things and I’m still putting the pieces together but I remember one in particular. He would make me stand right in front of the mirror and take my clothes off.” Bucky felt Sam tense beside him and looked at him, checking if he should continue. Sam’s heart melted at Bucky, even at his most vulnerable he was checking on others.

“It’s okay, only keep going if you want to.”

Bucky nodded before continuing. “Once I had my clothes off, sometimes he would make me..” Bucky’s voice grew smaller and smaller as he continued, so much so, Sam could almost not hear him. “He would make me touch myself, whilst they all watched. I could hear them laughing, like they were enjoying themselves. The guy in the room, he would keep telling me what to do but he would stop right before I..” Sam gave Bucky a look of understanding, Bucky was thankful he didn't have to say it. “He would do it over and over again, never letting me finish.” Bucky cringed slightly at his wording but kept going. “Once they'd had their fun they’d just leave me there in pain.”

Bucky suddenly felt like he had to defend himself. “And it’s not like I wanted to.. but anything would have been better than having to wait it out.”

Sam can feel his anger rising, thinking back to earlier in the night. Zemo asking Bucky to go back into that mindset and let him touch him was uncalled for. He felt guilty for letting it happen even though deep down he knew it had to happen. Still he made a mental note to apologise to Bucky when the time was right.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to defend yourself. I can’t imagine how hard that would've been.” Bucky felt relieved at that, he almost felt silly for thinking Sam would judge him but after a second he realises probably not everyone would react this way. He really was grateful for having Sam. He made him feel safe and listened to so he kept going.

“There was another man, he only came in a few times and he would touch me.. but…” Bucky took a deep breath and paused for only a moment. “He wouldn’t use the words. He just told me to lie down and I would do it. I just let him.”

Sam didn’t want to interrupt Bucky but he couldn’t let him blame himself for that. “Bucky.. That wasn't your fault. Whether he used the words or not, it was against your will.”

“But I could have stopped him, If i’d just been toughe-”

“Bucky no. Please listen to me when I say this.” Sam shifts sideways slightly and grabs Bucky’s hands. He looks up into Bucky’s eyes and continued. “None of what happened to you is your fault, you had no choice in what happened.”

Bucky can feel a tear run down his face before he can stop it. He quickly brings his hand up and wipes it away. “I’m sorry for this. I know you probably don’t want to hear about it.”

“Buck” Sam chuckles lightly. “I like to think we’re close enough now that we can vent to each other. This is gonna be pretty tough if we can’t.”

This brought a little smile to Bucky’s face. “Thank you for listening to me Sam, and thank you for not looking at me like I'm some freak.”

“You’re not a freak. You’ve been through a lot, that doesn’t make you a freak, that makes you strong. I know this was hard to look back on but I’m glad you felt safe enough to..with me. I’m here for you okay? From now on, we have each other's backs, no matter what.”

“I’m here for you too. You can talk to me, I know I’ve been a bit of a dick in the past but I promise I got you. You can talk to me about anything, I know you’ve been through a lot too. It must be ha-”

Before Bucky could finish speaking, the door swings open and Zemo walks in. “Gentleman.” Bucky pulls away from Sam and wipes his face once more, he absolutely does not want Zemo to crack any jokes about this. He shoots Sam an apologetic look but there's no need, Sam understood and nodded slightly to show that. “ Are you two ready to leave? We’re waiting.”

Sam and Bucky both clear their throat before standing up. Both mumbling a response that sounds like a mixture of “Yes” and “Let’s go”

Zemo leaves the room first and Bucky goes to follow but not before looking back at Sam and grabbing his hand.

“When we get home.” They both smile slightly and Sam squeezes Bucky’s hand.

Sam nods before responding “When we get home.”

#wwilsonbarness #when we get home #sambucky #sambuckyfic #sambucky fluff #sambucky fanfic #samwilson #bucky barnes #marvel #bucky barnes fanfiction #sam wilson fanfiction #sam wilson x bucky barnes #bucky barnes x sam wilson #the falcon and the winter solider #sebastian stan #anthony mackie #winterfalcon #fanfic

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mimisempai · 11 months

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Hi! Sambucky + #36, pretty please?

Hi ! I don't know if it was you were waiting for but I really Hope you'll enjoy it! Here you go !

#kiss ask game #sambucky #sambuckyfic

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honestlyfrance · 2 years

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*spins teh wheel* 26 or 47, :3 - 🔮⛈ (@enchanted-lightning-aes)

star-struck lovers / sambucky

One of the most baffling things Bucky Barnes ever had to witness was himself change into a version of someone capable of loving. It was terrifying. Dare he say, scarring; if it was a physical change, there would be scars all over him— he could not recognize himself, but there were bits and pieces that he remembers was from his previous self.

For example: he remembered how tender he loved, how ever-lasting his feelings exist and the ways he could showcase this. And when Bucky found Sam Wilson, he knew that this love would last longer than the lifespan of any star.

The way Bucky loved Sam, it was without hesitation. He bought flowers "just because" and pulled the man close just so he could hold him any time he wanted. Bucky would ask permission for any kiss, and Sam's affirmations would only taste sweeter with every answer. It was wonderful. They both feel ecstatic.

You might think that the way Sam loved Bucky was kind of scary, because he's seen him at his worst, at the edge of inhumanity, and at the end of all things happy; then Bucky got better, he learned to smile again, and the way he says Sam's name birthed universes on his tongue. It's not scary at all; in the moment, it made sense to fall into each other's orbits. They made sense, is the thing. Everything made much more sense in their lover's presence.

Sam is star-struck, loving like a romantic with an affinity for words and Bucky, who has all the time in the world to match his man's energy, has whole constellations in his eyes. What a pair they make.

#sambucky #onlysambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #winterfalcon #sambuckyfic #france: works #france: requests #AHHH SORRY THIS WAS SO LATE LIFE WENT KINDA DOWNHILL 😔😔#this ones for you enchant 🥺🥺#france: writing

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mbbmdymm · 1 year

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), Marvel Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson Characters: Sam Wilson (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes Additional Tags: Dry Humping, Car Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Bucky Barnes Loves Sam Wilson, Sam Wilson Loves Bucky Barnes, Established Relationship Summary:

Bucky is enraptured with the sight of Sam during a Gala they attend together, and his usual all-consuming lust for all things Sam ensues.

#sambucky #ao3fic #sambuckyfic #How to make this about Sambucky is my motto

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burnthatbridge · 2 years

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Setting Sam Up by burnthatbridge and velociraptorerin T | 16k | no archive warnings

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Sam Wilson Tags: 5+1 Things; POV Outsider; POV Multiple; Fluff; Idiots in Love

Summary:

“I’m not so desperate that I’m sinking to that level yet.” “What? Resorting to exploiting your position or to downloading a dating app?” Sharon laughs at the exasperated look on his face.

“Either.”

“Well, they do say dating is hard as a celebrity, and that’s certainly what you are now, Cap.”

“Yeah? You got any suggestions for this celebrity?”

She thinks on it for a moment, drinks some of her wine. She’s probably got a few people who could be an option for Sam, actually. “I think you’ve come to the right person,” she tells him, sly smile on her face. “It was previously my job to get people the things they wanted, and I was the best in the business.” Five times others try to set Sam up on a date (and realize something about his relationship status that he hasn't) plus one time Sam takes matters into his own hands (well, with a little help from Bucky).

For @winterfalconevents’ WinterFalcon Big Bang 2021. Huge thanks to the organisers for putting this event together!

And thank you so much to @velociraptorerin-art for the truly incredible art you made for this fic! I love it more than I know how to express. Working with you has been the highlight of the BB for me <3

Preview of said amazing art (see the work on AO3 for the full):

#sambucky #winterfalcon #winterfalcon big bang #winterfalcon big bang 2021 #sambuckyfic #myfic #ao3

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buckyismybicycle · 3 years

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Hello lovelies, here’s my MASTERLIST all in one place!

Please read the tags and warnings on each of these as there is a lot of variation. If you’ve enjoyed any of my works, please consider reblogging & helping me share! I have tried to condense my lists as much as possible into four main categories for now, subject to change. Feedback/comments and any interactions are SO very much appreciated. 💕

═══

If you prefer the individual pages, they can be found here:

➳ Bucky/Sam

➳ Bucky/Reader

➳ Bucky/Steve

➳ Bucky Centric/ Other ships

➳ All Events/Participation

═══

Disclaimer: I do not agree to any of my works being re-posted or cross-posted on any platform without my knowledge and without my explicit agreement to do so. None of these characters belong to me unless specified, and I do not profit from any of the stories I write. For all fics marked explicit, you acknowledge you are at least 18 years of age by clicking the provided links.

#masterlist #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes #falcon and winter soldier #sam wilson #steve rogers #my works #winter soldier #white wolf #stucky #sambucky #sam wilson x bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #falcon and winter soldier fanfiction #fanfic #fic recs #sambuckyfic #sambuckyrec #Bucky x Reader

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cyclogenesis · 3 years

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Missing Scene. Sam/Bucky, Explicit. 23,229 words.

After a year and ten months of following up on leads that led to nothing but ransacked buildings full of decimated HYDRA goons, Sam finds Bucky Barnes when the dude walks right past him dressed in skintight jeans, a jacket straining over the wall of muscle that is his upper body, and leather gloves, and heads into the gay bar next door.

In which Sam finds Bucky before the events of Civil War, and what they do in Paris has a profound effect on how the next several years of their lives go. Written as a companion story to the films and the series, canon compliant with a whole lot of secret feelings.

#sambucky #onlysambucky #winterfalcon #sambuckyfic #sambucky fic #my fic #we did it kids i can't stop crying #devastatingly i had to cut a scene because of my artistic integrity so although it WAS the longest fic i've ever written it isn't now #but i do feel pretty good about it anyway please tell me if you feel good about it too

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wrathofthestag · 3 years

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Coffee with Chicory

“Just try it.”

“It smells weird,” Bucky said as he raised the coffee cup to his nose.

“Will you just try it, man?“

Sam and Bucky had returned from the Piggly Wiggly. The groceries hadn’t even been fully unpacked yet, and Sam insisted on making coffee right then and there.

“Trust me, you’re going to love it,” Sam said as he put the lid back on the can of Community Coffee.

“Why does it smell like that?” Bucky asked.

Sam sighed.

“It’s chicory. Look, I know how hesitant you are about new things,” Sam said with extra emphasis on new things, “but this is just coffee, Buck. That’s all.”

“Isn’t chicory some sort of weed?”

Sam shook his head and mumbled something about not having time for that nonsense, and he’s lucky he’s cute.

Bucky looked at Sam, who stood against the kitchen counter, gripping his Tulane mug.

Sam raised an eyebrow at Bucky, and Bucky, in turn, took a sip. Bucky swished the coffee around his mouth and swallowed. Oh god. Well, it was definitely an acquired taste. Something he’d probably not be too interested in having... ever again. Still, Sam looked at Bucky with that giddy anticipation, that abundant enthusiasm and openness that Sam approached just about everything in life with.

It was one of the many things Bucky absolutely adored about Sam.

“Well?” Bucky shrugged.

“It’s good, Samuel.”

Sam grinned.

“See? I told you!”

Sam put his coffee down, gave Bucky a quick kiss on the lips, and continued unpacking the groceries.

“I was thinking that tomorrow, maybe we could go see the boys’ baseball game.”

Bucky handed Sam the peanut butter and smiled.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

#SamBucky #SamBucky fic #SamBucky ficlet #sam wilson #bucky barnes #domestic fluff #My FF #look i love coffee with chicory #side note: chicory is a perennial herbaceous plant #~* The More You Know! *~#i prefer Community Coffe with chickory to Cafe du Monde's #sambuckyfic #onlysambucky

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enchanted-lightning-aes · 3 years

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Enchant Presents. . .

[ID: Purple header with a circular photo of Sam Wilson and white text on the left that reads “Sam Wilson Being Cared for Fic-Rec Part 2” /finish ID]

Since part 1 seemed to be successful, here’s another compilation with the same theme, except this time: semi-TFATWS edition! Happy TFATWS Friday everyone even tho it’s been a month and a half since the final episode aired. Really, it’s a surprise to even find Sam Wilson being cared for fics being a rarity during and after the show aired.

Part I

Here’s some official (!!!) Sambucky soundtrack music to listen to while reading this. Yes it’s all from 1x05!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Alrakjs_w6s - Real Partners

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsslvmaRLJ4 - Home Truths

And a fanmade one by an amazing writer too.

https://pianistwriter80.tumblr.com/post/642962182570639360/sambucky-theme-song

Now here it is:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31145780 - If I Could Tell Him by slothbaby424, where Sam’s having a hard time hiding his feelings from Bucky and it actually gives him an emotional catharsis that we should have gotten. Post-1x06.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30690599 - My Heading Needed More Time by @pianistwriter80, also known as OhHelloFandoms123, wrote this beautiful one-shot of Sam having some self care and TLC by Buck, and his feelings are given time to explore. Post-1x04.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29600586 - Encourage by pianistwriter80 again, because it handled Sam’s doubts as Cap and Bucky’s there to reassure him of it.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29458470 - I Need to See Him by pianistwriter80, because protective!Bucky is a classic trope, I love in this house.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30891806 - What I’ve Been Waiting for by pianistwriter80, because it has the Sam Wilson Needs A Hug tag and he receives it! <3 Post-1x06.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31262747 - if i gave you my hand (would you take it) by @omg-just-peachy, a lovely tale where Bucky is attentive to Sam in many ways. Post-1x06.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8127745 - Let's Fly Away by unclesteeb, and a complete Sam Wilson focused fic with elements from the comics and Redwing making sure Sam gets looked after even though he may say otherwise.

Seriously, Sam Wilson is a precious treasure and must be protected at all costs even from the fandom that doesn’t appreciate him as much as he should be.

#sambuckyfic #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky #winterfalcon #sam x bucky #sam wilson fanfic #rec list #sam wilson fic #sambucky fanfic #sambucky fic

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enterprisecatsblog · 2 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Winifred Barnes, James "Bucky" Barnes & Sarah Wilson Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Steve Rogers, Sarah Wilson (Marvel), Winifred Barnes Additional Tags: Angst, Fluff and Angst, 5+1 Things, Pre-War, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Past and Present, Memories, bbweek22 Summary:

Birthdays through the years.

A 5+1 written for Bucky Barnes Appreciation Week 2022.

@buckybarnesweek2022

#bucky barnes #sam wilson #steve rogers #sambucky #fic #sambuckyfic #fanfiction #bbbweek22

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the-lunar-pull · 3 years

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Almost missed promo Monday for SamBucky week! I am new to the fandom and only have 3 stories published but I have a few WIPs at the moment. Feel free to send me an ask/prompt to help me get inspiration ☺️

1. When You Awake

[canon universe, memory loss, Sam-centric, explicit]

“Mr. Wilson, what do you remember?” Dr. Ramirez asks, her voice tense.

And here is a moment of choice for you. There’s a part of you that wants to lie; wants to simply ignore this terror and just pretend. There’s a part of you that is paralyzed with fear.

But there’s another part of you, sure as the rising sun, that will never back down. You don’t know who you are but you know you cannot turn away from this or any other challenge. You’re not built like that, that much you know.

You open your eyes again. Take a deep breath.

“I don’t remember anything.”

2. New Territory

[Canon universe, one shot, first time, explicit]

After a few weeks of sharp kisses and tentative touches, Bucky and Sam are finally alone.

3. I Am Trying to Break Your Heart

[Modern AU, love triangle, mentions of past drug abuse, eventual wedding fluff, past SamSteve, mostly just messy drama, I can’t even lie]

Today is the day that Steve received an invitation to the love of his life’s wedding.

#fysbmonday #onlysambucky #sambucky #sambuckyweek #sambucky fanfiction #sam wilson #Bucky Barnes #mcu #sambuckyfic #sambuckyfics

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saryasy · 3 years

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So, I made this post a few day ago, and since no one stepped up to write it, I decided to give the people (me) what they want and wrote this:

'cause, baby, we're meant to be

I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I enjoyed writing it.

#sambucky #sambucky fic #sambuckyfic #Sam x Bucky #bucky barnes #sam wilson

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liminalmess · 3 years

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I’m back with more *you guessed it* sambucky words

Fandom: TFATWS/MCU

Pairing: SamBucky

Title: 4 Times Bucky Won’t Admit He Loves Redwing And 1 Time He Does

Rating/Warnings: T, kissing, spoilers for ep 6

Summary: “So you like Redwing so much you had Shuri make me a newer, fancier one that turns into two, huh?” Sam says with a smirk as him and Bucky walk away from the mess of reporters, emergency vehicles and government officials.

#my fics #sambuckyfic #sambuckyfluff #sambucky #winterfalcon #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #redwing

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honestlyfrance · 3 years

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just feel; let’s exist

ship: sam/bucky

warnings: hurt/comfort, suicidal implications

summary:

“Where are you, Sam?” Bucky whispered, dragging his hand on Sam’s back, rubbing careful circles to ease the tension in his man’s muscles.

Sam shuddered at the touch, murmuring, “I don’t know,”

Bucky tries to keep Sam grounded for the night.

—■—■—

We’d all like to know what’s it like living in the Avengers Mansion secluded in the vast forest, the same mansion that you could only reach with a rocky dirt path, the same one where it stretches with its landing strips and pools, the same one where it looked more like a castle lost in the 16th century than one in the 21st century, and the same one where the sunrises were almost as perfect as the ones in Wakanda. Despite this description, Sam Wilson would tell you it was a noisy place, always full of fights and silent conversations—other times it’s a game of cat and mouse on who can eat the last platter of brownies before the super-soldiers can get to them.

Everyone wanted to know what it felt like to live at the top of the world, unbothered and untethered. Not even touched by the weather, god gifted and forever immaculate: What does heaven feel like? They’ll say it tastes like copper blood, everlasting and stained. Others would say that heaven does not exist, and it’s hell on earth in the Avengers Compound; constant tension in the hallways, there’s always a reason for thunder to break through the walls and shatter the mirrors. It doesn’t sound like heaven, and maybe it shouldn’t be called as such.

Most nights it did feel like heaven on earth, when the room was just the right cold, the water pressure was just right, and the hallways were peaceful as it can be on a Thursday, it’s almost as if you were on top of the world. Damned those who think not, it was better when it was empty and vast as it should always be.

It was always so full of life, and other times it was full of sorrow, resentfulness, and even, death.

This was one of those nights, the nights when Sam feels decayed and broken to the bone , almost numb at the overriding sensation throughout his body. It should’ve been illegal to feel this way, empty and vulnerable to even air, feeling as if you may crumble at the very touch of kindness. It shouldn’t be like this, but it always has to be; c'est la vie. What can anyone do?

Sam sat on the rounded couch in the vast living area. It had high ceilings, two chandeliers hanging precariously with its heavy diamonds and crystals; the couch was in an unlevel flooring, shaped for the large rounded velvet couch; the moonlight was streaming in the drawn open French windows that reached the arches of the walls; the rose bushes were in full bloom in view of the windows, full and lovely; the TV screen was sat atop a long desk, decorated with picture frames of the members of the Avengers all smiling and serious; the room was dim lit except for the moonlight, and there’s an uneasiness in the room. It was nearing midnight, and Sam didn’t make any plans to go back to bed.

Everything seemed to swallow him whole, and the vastness was only eating at his sides, bringing him down just to build him back up again with hope; it’s a sickening plot to take him down but his mind was almost peeling at the seams, and there’s a need to kill his overwhelmed senses before dawn, because there’s a ticking in his head that he had interpreted as a ticking bomb that would implode him and his thoughts when the sun would rise.

It’s saddening, how the world could beat him down into a pulp, taking his mentality and sensibility. The world has stripped him down to the bone and left his soul to burst into flames, an open-to-all show for the world to see. This is your Captain America! and you’ve let him burn to ashes! The world has left him to drown like an Icarus, burnt to a crisp and broken like glass. Nothing could ever piece him back together except for death, and even then it wouldn’t be the same. There’ll be an aftertaste in his mouth that would taste like gunfire and carcasses, and he wouldn’t be able to wash that foul taste without burying himself six-feet-under.

In the silence of the mansion and the dimness of the night, it’s here that he let himself daze into nothingness, feeling the void wrap itself into his bones, etching his fate with a pen-knife and salt, embracing his wounds as if the Mona Lisa to its Louvre. Sam lets himself decay with the stars, and if his fate leads him into his bed, then so be it; he’s lived long enough, won’t that mean he’d die short enough?

The silence seemed to ring in his ears, and there’s an ache in his chest he couldn’t cater to; it seemed too far away for him to reach, and if it was close enough for his fingers to grasp, it would turn futile. He would let it be; who’s going to tell him otherwise? There’s not a person in the world who decided to let Sam thrive, and even if they did, it was obviously not enough. Sam knew his worth, but did he know this could save him? Months of spiraling into the void, Sam has finally recollected and called himself “extinct.” Reminiscing would lead him nowhere, and the happy thoughts he had clutched onto had become stone; Sam did know his worth, but it only became his enemy.

Sam knew what it meant to know things and had felt things to conflict it, in the end burying himself in his own grave from the pressure of the world. Life has offered him endless tragedies and he has offered nothing but service, ruthlessly nice and angelic to the halo and wings, and it’d be a shame to have him drown in Atlas and the world’s burdens, but that’s what people make him do; stripped down to “support” and “partner” all in one, the world will forever see him in this facade.

As the ache in his chest began to sear him, Sam suppressed his cries to beg mercy at the world; he’s been abused to the bone that he’d let himself get down on his knees to beg for a sliver of mercy from the world. There’s tears rolling down his cheeks as he gritted his teeth, clenching his jaw at every sensation he felt. There was the need to numb himself, and he’d do that even if he has to physically hurt himself, to ache at the skin— yes, maybe that would work…

Footsteps approach Sam, breaking his soliloquies. Sam was left with ragged breaths, wiping his tears away with his bare hands when Bucky Barnes had plopped down right beside him, invading his personal space. Bucky was panting, wiping his forehead with a face towel before facing Sam with a splitting grin; it disappeared when Bucky saw the red in Sam’s eyes, and so Bucky immediately gave the man some space.

“Hey,” Bucky gently spoke, his hands wringing in between his thighs, “You— You don’t have to say anything,” he put on a small smile for Sam, but the man only sniffled, turning into convulsive sobs, “Do you want me to leave? I can give you more space. Do you want me to stay? I have some, uh, few ideas to get your mind off things…”

Sam turned to the rough fabric of the couch for comfort, crying into it as he choked on his sobs. Bucky sat beside the man, resting his chin on his crossed arms on the backrest of the couch; he had fear glinting in his eyes as he watched one of the strongest men he knew break down in pieces. There’s an unmistakable anguish in the air, one that brittles the strong with crashing waves, and Bucky feared for it.

“What do you need right now, Sam,” Bucky whispered into the darkness, and there’s a softness in his tone that just breaks Sam even more.

Sam looked up from his arms, a glare burying Bucky to the ground as he says, “Don’t treat me like I’m fragile,”

Bucky took a double-take, but nonetheless nodded carefully, afraid he’d hurt Sam even more. There’s an unspoken rule about comforting someone: Don’t hurt them even more . Bucky stood up, arms in awkward positions as Sam went back sniffling into his arms. Bucky’s heartstrings chimed to the tune of a love song, one that sings just for Sam; there’s now the only goal he had in mind: make Sam happy .

“Everyone’s fragile, Sam,” Bucky whispered, his voice barely above a murmur, but Sam must’ve heard it, because he stopped his whimpers and stayed robotically still, “Their brokenness only depends on how people handle them,”

Sam looked up, his lips twisted as his eyes searched for something in Bucky. “Stay,” he whimpered.

Bucky warily comes back in his seat, Sam inching towards the warmth of Bucky. Bucky wrapped his arms around Sam’s waist as the man leaned into Bucky’s body, nestling his head on Bucky’s chest. They lied down like this for minutes long, feeling each other’s breathing blend into each other. Bucky tries to even his breathing, already fearing the way his own heart beats deafeningly into the night; does Sam hear the fear and anxiety Bucky feels for him revibrate in his chest, or was Sam too deep into his thoughts to feel anything outside of him?

Bucky planted a soft and gentle kiss on the top of Sam’s head, and Sam instinctively groaned at the action; Sam’s body reacted by burying himself deeper into Bucky, as if it was still possible. If anything, they were practically connected into each other, atoms sharing and merging with one another they wouldn’t be surprised if they had melted into each other's souls by dawn.

Dawn .

Sam lifted his head, and Bucky whimpered at the loss of heat. Sam set his hands on Bucky’s knees as he blinked at the darkness, trying to figure out the murky shapes in the living area; he almost jumped when he saw something move in the darkness, only to realize it was Natasha Romanoff’s cat, Liho, moving around by the carpet. Bucky watched the back of Sam’s head, his eyebrows knitted together as he tried to decipher Sam. It seemed like everyday that Sam was jumpy and spaced out, almost like an astronaut from the many times he’s been into the void — Bucky just wanted to bring him back down with him on Earth.

“Where are you, Sam?” Bucky whispered, dragging his hand on Sam’s back, rubbing careful circles to ease the tension in his man’s muscles.

Sam shuddered at the touch, murmuring, “I don’t know,”

Liho is now on the other end of the couch joined by the other cats, Alpine, Goose, and Figaro; so that’s what those menaces do at night.

Bucky sighed, bringing back his grip on Sam’s shoulder, easing out the ache of the world out of him; if it was only possible. Bucky wished it was that easy, because Sam didn’t deserve an inch of this bullcrap, however the world seemed fit, angels just don’t need the burden of Atlas as if it wasn’t from different religions in the first place. If there was just a magic word Bucky could say to bring Sam back down on base, he'd make a song out of it— Anything. Anything that would give back Sam his control, Bucky would pick it out from hell itself if it could bring Sam peace and comfort.

“Why do I bother,” Sam murmured, his voice raspy and ragged.

Bucky hesitantly set his forehead on Sam’s back, breathing in the scent of him; he exhaled, saying, “We bother because we care,” he breathed in once more, his eyes shut closed, “Sometimes we care too much to feel anything. Which is why we rest… Feel… Breathe in…”

“I know,” Sam’s eyebrows furrowed, staring into the void of darkness as his idle hands grew sweatier and colder, “I… I can’t seem to do anything right now…”

“Then let’s just exist, Sam. Come back down for you.”

Bucky rested his head right on Sam’s back, eyes upwards as he heard the mewling of the four cats approaching them. They both chuckled at that, and for a moment, the world stopped spinning and had rested just for the two of them. Sam lied back down, bringing Bucky down with him; Sam curled himself deeper into Bucky’s chest as the other rested his feet on top of the mahogany coffee table before them. Liho finds a spot between Bucky’s legs and Alpine is soon behind him; the other two cats, Bucky thinks, should scram before the two of them do anything more.

They sat down for a moment, overwhelmed by the silence to move, and it feels nice to have the weight be lifted from one’s chest; there’s a pang of pain to breathe but there’s also the love that revibrates within the heart, and it blares so loudly between these two it shouldn’t be hard enough to stay oblivious to this.

“You don’t have to talk,” Bucky whispered in Sam’s ear; Sam hummed in acknowledgement, “I know. I know it’s hard, and it’s fine to be fragile,” he rubbed circles on Sam’s back with his palm, then his fingers, feeling Sam sigh deeply into his chest, “One thing I’ve learned is that… You should just exist. Alone or together, any is fine; just breathe and feel, Sam. The pain leaves like a bandaid,”

It’s probably near two in the morning when Natasha emerges from her bedroom on the other side of the mansion to retrieve Liho, scooping up the noir feline from Bucky’s legs. In exchange, Natasha had brought the two a blanket, and apparently Bucky had requested to bring his laptop and secret stash of champagne. No sooner had she left with her cat, Goose had followed as well, meowing all the way down the hallway.

“What are you doing?” Sam drawled out, suppressing a grin as Bucky laid out the blanket around them.

Bucky had set down his laptop on his lap, opening up a browser and going incognito; Sam watched Bucky enter a website that had too many ads for one’s liking, entering a movie title that had only disappeared from the cinemas just yesterday. The movie began to play and Bucky raised the volume, Alpine setting her paws on his arm as he did this. Chuckling, Sam popped open the champagne with surprising ease, laughing fully as some of it spilled; Figaro crawled on top of his legs, and Sam had run a hand across his cat’s fur as Bucky snuggled deeper into the duvet.

They took turns drinking the alcohol straight from the bottle, and no sooner had Bucky seen a smile form on Sam’s face, all gap-tooth and wide, it was too beautiful to miss, even in the darkness. Everything fell back into place, but there’s a new atmosphere surrounding them as explosions and guns blared from the speakers, their two cats purring in the background making everything harder to move, and their breathing was too close to each other to ignore.

They didn’t know who was the first one to lean into the kiss, but they both knew they wanted this. Long and languid kisses ensued between them, and Bucky’s advice ringed in their heads: Just feel , and they did; they felt each other’s skin against each other as their hands found their way to cup the other man’s cheek and bring them closer with a hand on the neck. They rested against each other’s foreheads as they breathed heavily, eyes still closed as they let the taste of the other be ingrained into their heads, never wanting to forget what love finally tasted like: it tasted like champagne turned into wine and the living room into an abandoned movie theatre, and it felt ten times colder but they were too warm in their hearts to complain.

They stayed like this for another movie, just existing together and alone, and if the world has decided that enough was enough and that they should break apart, just know this: though they were both fragile, in each other’s presence they felt too strong to even believe they were weak in the first place. Dawn had just arrived, and they could say they’ve stayed for another day.

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #winterfalcon #sam wilson sundays #france: works #france: writing #sambuckyfic

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labyrinthof-fan-fiction · 3 years

Text

Breathe {2}

Part 2

Masterlist

A/N: This is the most planned out fic. I think I’ve ever written, holy cow. Steve would be yelling language so much at this chapter. I cannot stress to all of you how much Sam or Bucky are not straight in this.

Rating: M

Summary: Six months after Endgame, Bucky sees John Walker with the shield, it’s time to talk to Sam. Steve died of old age and is the Major Character Death. Unrequited Stucky, eventual SamBucky.

Warnings: Major Character Death, Self Harm, Swears, Angst, Grief,

Word Count: 2,301

Six months passed, Bucky had been a stranger, but he had been busy. Getting acclimated to the modern world was not as easy as he had hoped. Brooklyn had changed, just like everything else. Businesses were gone, families he had known died, but it still was Brooklyn. He had taken a self guided tour when he first moved into the apartment. There were plaques all over the place with his and Steve’s name on them. He remembered staring up at their old building, or at least the plot of land it had been in, that was now some kind of apartment complex, and wondered why the hell they had thought to put a bronze plaque out front. Reading the plaque had caused his skin to crawl, the two friends lived together for years. That shouldn’t bother him as much as it did, but it kept nagging at his mind. Two friends, that’s all they were, no matter his feelings, they were friends. Til the end of the line. That phrase popped back into his mind. Bucky had ninety years, but there were three words he never got to say.

He had turned away once he finished reading, tears starting in his eyes and his hands clenched. He stumbled into two men who were holding hands.

“Watch it!” The taller one snapped, pushing the other behind him protectively. Bucky had frozen for a moment, eyes flicking around the two, whose hands remained intertwined. The one who had been pushed aside whispered in the other’s ear. “Alright, let’s go, but watch where the fuck you’re going.”

Bucky mumbled an apology, but his eyes wandered back to the couple as they walked away, their hands intertwined. He pushed down the ache he felt in his chest, shoved his hands into his pockets, and shuffled his way back to his apartment. Once he was at the place he now called home, he got onto the computer that had been left for him. Hydra had taught him how to use one, that was one skill he was grateful for.

Aside from reacquainting himself with life, he was making amends for his time as the Winter Soldier and attending his court mandated therapy sessions with Dr. Raynor. Busy, cleaning up years of messes he had made for Hydra, catching u At least that’s what he kept telling himself every time his phone dinged and it was a text from Sam. I’ll get to it. He kept saying, but he didn’t.

He sat in front of her birch tree wallpaper. He hated the room, the couch, not so much Dr. Raynor, but he hated the situation. He spent years with someone else in his head, and he didn’t need another person added to the list to comb through his mind.

Bucky continued in his usual fashion of giving her one word answers. Then he started to talk about the name he crossed of his list of amends, he parroted back Rule Number Three.“I am no longer the Winter Soldier, I am James ‘Bucky’ Barnes, and you are part of my effort to make amends.”

“Give me your phone.” She ordered, he sighed and handed it over, she started going through the phone. “You’ve been ignoring the texts from Sam.” He shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “You’re alone, you have no family. It’s sad.”

He clenched his jaw. “I’m trying. I had calm in Wakanda, for ninety years I have gone from one fight to another.”

“So now that you’ve stopped fighting, what do you want?”

Bucky paused and considered his answer. “Peace.” He answered.

She scoffed, “That’s bullshit.”

Bucky remained silent, because he knew she was right. He did want peace, but that wasn’t his top priority. “Thanks doc.” He muttered as he walked out of her office and made his way home.

He grumbled to himself and made his way to the makeshift bed on the floor. He had tried to sleep in the bed, that first night after Steve was gone, but he couldn’t. Too soft, too warm, but the floor, that was just right. He sat on the floor and turned on the television, turning to the news channel, it was the only thing he could tolerate, at least it used to be the only thing he could tolerate. Sam had given up the shield. And now some asshole was walking around with Steve’s legacy on his arm. Bucky hadn’t met Walker, but he already knew, he wasn’t Captain America. The pomp and circumstance around his announcement disgusted him, Sam wouldn’t have done this. He reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, glancing at Sam’s message from earlier that day.

I’ll be in town this week. Teaming up with the Air Force, wanna grab a bite?

Bucky felt guilty for ignoring him all this time, he hadn’t wanted to. But he didn’t want to burden Sam, from the little bit he had learned from Steve, Sam had baggage too. He glanced back at the message. Air Force. That was something Bucky was still familiar with.

Bucky walked into the hangar. “Why’d you give up the shield?”

“Good to see you too, Buck.” Sam said calmly, ignoring Bucky’s question.

Bucky followed Sam and listened to him rattle on about the ‘Big Three.’ Aliens, androids, and wizards, the fuck? “I read the Hobbit, in 1937, when it came out.”

He didn’t miss the mildly surprised look on Sam’s face, but followed him onto the plane, like hell he was being left behind, not again. He sat across from Sam, glaring and Sam bared down and his brown eyes met Bucky’s blue. And in that moment, Bucky’s heart skipped a beat.

Bucky watched Sam jump out of the plane, and sighed. Following another idiot into certain danger. He thought to himself before jumping out, and then hitting every possible tree branch on the way down. He caught a flash of red just before he hit the ground.

“I got all of that.” He heard Sam chuckle as Redwing hovered above him.

“Get it out of my face, Sam, before I break it.” Bucky snarled through his teeth. Trying to ignore Sam’s laughter, and the little beep from Redwing.

Bucky followed Sam into the warehouse, slinking into the shadows into a separate hallway.

“Look at you, White Panther.” Sam snickered through the comms.

Bucky sighed and rolled his eyes, “White Wolf, actually.”

Sam’s quiet laughter filtered through the comms, and Bucky’s face grew warm, he shook his head and continued walking. He met Sam in a large storage room, he could see a man lifting a large pallet of boxes. “I could take him.”

“Just wait.” Sam murmured, tapping on his goggles. “There’s more.”

“I could take them.”

“Just because you have a vibranium arm doesn’t mean you can take everyone in the world.” Sam grumbled, looking out at the semis waiting. “They’ve got a hostage.”

The trucks started to pull away and Bucky ran after them. Sam was yelling at him through comms, but he didn’t care, he jumped on the back of the second truck and ripped the door open. He glanced around, “Looks like vaccines.” A girl with curly red hair stepped out from behind one of the she glanced up timidly at Bucky. “I’m here to help.” Bucky said, holding out his hand to her. A smirk appeared on her face, “Son of a—“

Bucky flew from the semi as she kicked him in the chest. He glared up at her as she gave a last smile before jumping to the top of the truck. Bucky chased after her and was instantly thrown into a fight with her and two other men. They started kicking and punching him before the men grabbed ahold of both of his arms and turned him to face her. Redwing began to buzz around her head and she groaned, then grabbed the drone from the air and snapped in half over her knee.

“I’ve always wanted to do that.” Bucky said wistfully, catching Sam’s eyes for a moment before Sam engaged the girl and was thrown to a separate truck and pinned down by two men that Bucky hadn’t noticed.

Then that damn red, white, and blue saucer flew through the air. Bucky glanced up to see Steve’s government replacement jump from the helicopter. Bucky caught the shield as it rebounded from the hit, then it was immediately taken by Walker. Bucky gripped the bottom of the semi, snarling as the super soldier continued to stomp on his hand until his grip was broken and he was holding on by one arm. He snarled as he slid down the truck and wrapped himself around the bottom of the trailer frame. The tires hitting the pavement sounded louder then he glanced over to see a flash of silver and red.

“That little girl kicked your ass.”Sam joked before barreling under the semi, pulling Bucky with him and they rolled into a field, the two grunting until they came to a stop. Bucky was on top of Sam, his eyes met Sam’s and Bucky felt his stomach flip, then his eyes flicked down to Sam’s lips. He panicked and rolled off Sam, he paused for a moment, trying to calm his breathing. “You’re welcome by the way.” Sam snarked.

“Asshole.” Bucky grumbled. “Those were super soldiers.” Bucky murmured, still feeling his heart flutter in his chest.

“Yup.” Sam said, standing up from the ground and walking to the road, glancing back at Bucky on the ground for a moment before walking towards the road.

Bucky grumbled and rolled onto his feet, falling into step beside Sam. They continued talking about the implications of the super soldiers. Dread was thrumming though Bucky’s body, super soldiers meant Hydra. His arm ached, he shook it off and continued to walk along side Sam, listening to him talk about his connections, where he would get the information next. Then he heard the honk of a horn.

Bucky glanced over to see the new blonde haired, blue eyed boy who wanted to be Captain America. “We’re pretty sure it’s one of the big three.” He called out to them.

Bucky glanced over at Sam with a raised eyebrow. How many of you have this damned big three idea? He thought to himself, Sam rolled his eyes. “Or it’s super soldiers.” He answered, not making eye contact with Walker.

“You really think so?” Lamar asked.

“We gotta work together. That’s the only way.” Walker said.

Bucky bristled, like hell was he going to work with him. He might think he looked the part, but there was no fucking way that this guy was Captain America. He was no Steve Rogers, Bucky’s eyes wandered over to Sam. And he sure as hell was no Sam Wilson. “Just because you carry that shield doesn’t make you Captain America.” He snarked, Sam gave him a small nudge.

“I put in the work. I know you didn’t expect to see the shield, Bucky” Walker snarked back defensively.

Bucky’s blood began to boil, who the fuck did he think he was, calling him Bucky. “Did you? Have you jumped on a grenade?” Bucky snarled, rage building inside him.

Walker started to go on a tirade about jumping on grenades, and plans for them. Bucky didn’t care. “C’mon, it’s twenty miles to the airport, get in the truck.”

Sam sighed and started climbing in the back of the truck. Bucky glared, he didn’t like it, but he wasn’t leaving Sam alone with these guys. Bucky remained silent and let Sam fill Walker in. He threw in a few

“You hacked my tech?” Sam snarled, Bucky could feel him stiffening next to him.

“It’s government property, I’m kind the government.” John answered nonchalantly.

Bucky turned his glare directly onto John, each time he opened his mouth Bucky added to his mental list of reasons why this man wasn’t fit to be Captain America. He thought that he had created a long enough list after watching his first interview, but no, meeting him in person. Bucky had a hell of a list going.

“It’d be a lot easier if I had Steve Roger’s best friend and wingman on my side.” John said.

Bucky tilted his head at Sam, who remained silent, but Bucky could see the fire lighting in his eyes. “Stop the car!” Bucky didn’t look back as he started walking on the path, Sam fell into step beside him. Bucky was seething, he started taking deep breaths to try to calm himself once they were out of eyesight of the others. He stopped and pinched the bridge of his nose, taking deep breaths.

“Come on, Buck, calm down.” Sam murmured, stopping next to him, dropping a hand to his shoulder.

“He’s an asshole.” Bucky managed to spit out.

Sam laughed, “Yeah, he is. But you seem to like calling everyone an asshole today, especially people who saved your ass.”

Bucky squinted his eyes and glanced over at Sam, who had a small smile on his face. “I don’t like him.”

“You don’t have to.” Sam said, giving Bucky’s shoulder a small squeeze.

“Good, cause I wasn’t planning on it.”

Sam let out a full bodied laugh, he reined it in and glanced at the other man. “You okay?”

Bucky sighed, “He’s not Steve.” He’s not you.

Sam nodded, he removed his hand from Bucky’s shoulder. They continued in silence, both men in their minds. Bucky wasn’t sure what Sam was thinking about, but Bucky already had three plans devised for how he was going to steal the shield from Walker and make sure it ended up in Sam’s hands. Because if an asshole was going to be wielding the shield, it was going to be his asshole of choice.

#sambucky #sam x bucky #sambuckyfic #tfatws #winterfalcon #winterfalcon fic #bucky barnes #captain america #sam wilson #bucky barnes x sam wilson #sam wilson x bucky barnes #tfatws fic #breathe

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